#but i can see why ppl would like it. not even in a condescending way. i rlly can see why this would be fun to a lot of ppl

[obrother1976]

why didn't you like saltburn?

a real freak would've fucked the corpse not just the grave

[samuraisharkie]

did I SERIOUSLY get called an “absolute walnut” from a tumblr checkmark blog. AIEJGKWJGKDNGM. if I saw sainamoonshine irl I would maul their ableist condescending ass within an inch of their life. not worth it to fight with them bc they clearly don’t care about anyone else’s perspective but jesus fucking CHRIST what a piss poor refutation of me calling them ableist. And in three paragraphs no less!

[bomber-grl]

Enemies to lovers with Leo Valdez

Pairing(s): Leo Valdez x Gn!Reader

If anything it probs stemmed from a misunderstanding

Maybe you were cranky the first two times he ever approached you

And perhaps you may have taken it out on him

And maybe just maybe he thought u were those stereotypical condescending people

Basically what ensued from then on was just you two attacking each other verbally each time you ran into each other

But then you’re officially introduced to him by either Percy or Annabeth or anyone else that’s part of the 7 that’s close to you

He’d be especially shocked if it’s Piper or Jason who introduces you two to eachother

Of course that doesn’t automatically solve anything and you’re both total assholes to each other still

Leo is complaining about you and how could any of his friends also be yours?

You feel the same exact way

And unfortunately this is a case of forced proximity as is all my hcs because I’m an uncreative bitch

Maybe it’s just me but I’d imagine constant bickering and making faces would be a bit hard to ignore and go unnoticed

So they all agree to force you two to get along

So you’re on the Argo ll and are forced to clean the stables

(Before the Athena Parthenos is put there obv)

It’s not messy messy but it’s still something

You two both finally agreed to be quiet

But then he gets almost thrown out the window by the ship getting rocked by a monster or something

And so you have to save him by obligation

You two are literally hanging out the window and Leo is yelling like crazy bro

Eventually you bring him back and he thanks you

It was done reluctantly- you make sure he knows that

Plus the situation gives you material to make fun of him for 💀

Then some time after that you’re fighting some daily monsters and he (despite not rlly being a fighter) helps you out by firing some of the weapons on the Argo

This incident spawns this unspoken alliance??

Literally everyone else is made aware of it too and even they’re confused

But honestly at least you’re not constantly at each others throats anymore

Instances where you saved each others asses continued from then on out

It got to the point where you saved eachother so often that you became literal 4lifers

Like genuinely enjoying each other’s company despite the occasional off handed remarks

There was obvious tension that you were both teased for by your individual friends

Even couch Hedge acknowledged it 💀

And youd both deny it

I mean it was the obvious choice

But there had always been tension between you two if you’re being honest

Like if someone asked you if you thought Leo was cute , well let’s not say you’d say he was, just that you really couldn’t deny it

And so your interactions and dynamic continued all the way until the prophecy that started this quest came to an end

And so did you interacting with Leo

He was dead, and despite having liked him, you’d never be able to tell him.

That’s something you had come to accept, and something you realized you’d never get the chance to admit to him

Until you could.

Leo appears back at camp with Calypso in tow

Let’s just say Leo felt ok about her and saved her cuz he’s a good guy and she went along cuz she wanted an escape)

Anyway like everyone else you line up to hit him

Ain’t no way you’re running to him when there’s so many other ppl infront 💀

Gods forbid YOU end up being the one that gets jumped

Even from the good amount of distance you’re away from him you can still very much see his- what can be best as described- upset demeanor

Why he looked that way? You didn’t know and couldn’t tell even if held at gunpoint

Well anyways eventually you end up face to face with him and his expression can’t even be described with just a few words

So ill try anyway

Hes absolutely star struck and, in truth, made breathless from the sight of you alone

I mean with the way Leo looks at you, you’d think he spotted his only true want in this world.

The guy doesn’t say anything at all but then he sorta gains consciousness (?)

He tries to hug you but then hesitates- tries again/ then hesitates

Before he could do anything else you slap the hell out of him 💀

The act is honestly so violate and loud it was genuinely startling

Some would say that you jumped him that day of his return but what did they know??

And then you hugged him

A deep, emotionally charged hug

All the days you had spent mourning him, being tortured by his death that you couldn’t help but feel was avoidable despite the prophecy-

And yet you couldn’t help but melt into the hug

Obviously awkwardness follows after- and for a good while after too

But in the end you two end up together (per advice from emmie and Jo once Apollo casually mentioned the undefined relationship between you two as defense against a remark Leo had made)

And after Apollo is done at the waystation (and you’re not already involved there)Leo will ask if you’d want to stay there together and go to school and be “normal” teens.

The answer is up to you, but we all know what you’re gonna choose

Cmon you’re reading this so you’re obviously down bad 💀

[mvmnbnv]

possibly hot take from me as a Vi stan, but hear me out

Vi didn't need a verbal apology for being hit

again hear me out

In s1, she never gave Jinx a verbal apology for hitting her. She gave her two verbal apologies for leaving her. But you know why Vi seemed more genuine with Jinx than Cait did with her?

Her show of remorse.

Vi was the perfect example of how one, show dont tell is used, and two, where media literacy can actually be brought up. And where the scripts and what the writers say actually mattered.

When she hit powder, she immediately regretted it, when using media literacy you can see this when she looks down at her hands after she did it, and can see the blatant remorse on her face. When she hit her, she needed to get away not to hurt her again in the heat of the moment. She was determined not to hurt her again.

When she is taken away, she uses what little resources she has (which are literally nothing, just silco's goons who probably dont even know what she's talking about when it comes to "powder"). She spends seven years trying to get back to her sister to make up for what she did. To make up for calling her a jinx and for hurting her.

When she finally gets the chance she immediately apologizes. She's gentle with her sister and comforting, letting her know that everything would be okay.

When things go haywire she tells her she wouldn't abandon her again.

We see Vi ON SCREEN talk about her guilt about leaving Jinx and see her pour her heart out to Caitlyn, remorseful about what she did, and for the leaving her on the bridge (which i dont blame her for she was literally just shot at and had an injured person with her).

She once again when faced with jinx, apologizes, tells her how much she meant to her by letting her know how her time in prison was spent, and even offers to run away with her to get her away from this "monster" (who she has yet to find out Jinx had a genuine connection with) even if it meant leaving with someone who at this point she knew could kill her (she mentions to Ekko she can't promise she won't die trying to get her to change her ways).

While Vi's show of remorse in some cases are more extreme and I wouldn't advocate for them in a normal circumstances (again like not looking out for her own wellbeing when dealing with someone she knows could put her in danger or worse), it was the perfect mix of everything ppl yap about now. "you lack media literacy", "show don't tell", the works...they managed to pull all of that off with Vi last season.

If they could've done this same thing with Caitlyn, maybe my and a lot of people's attitude would be different toward her and how she treats Vi. but she literally does the complete opposite of everything listed here.

She waits for a few seconds before hitting Vi, leaves and never comes back (people point out the .3 seconds of her grimacing and go "see!? she felt bad!" but literally everything I'm about to mention points to something different), is never shown giving a fuck about her outside of what other characters say, which doesn't mean much when she can't even be bothered to treat Vi well when they are together. She assaults her again when she runs into her and insults her appearance...and is willing to physically hit her again when its not necessary. She condescends to her, telling her to "calm down for once" when Vi's rightfully upset, and still expects trust out of her and for what..? And when she is on screen all we see is that she's replaced Vi and is sleeping with someone else, and speaking of that's the only thing she does try to apologize for...not for hurting vi, not for saying shitty things to her, not for being condescending to her, for sleeping with someone else...and while Vi is away she doesn't use ANY of the unlimited resources she has to make sure she's okay. They couldn't even write her telling Vi that she hurt her...matter of fact that gloss over it and phrase it as Vi just "being away"...

It's lacking...and to try and act like ppl are just dumb for holding arcane writers to a standard they themselves set for their own show is just ridiculous.

Vi didn't need a verbal apology necessarily, she needed a thorough show of remorse...and we barely got it.

[waters-and-the-wilde]

okay i was thinking about. the way Juno and Nureyev think. like the way their minds complement each other is just so goddamn neat to me.

(I've touched on something like this before in my 'Nureyev's coping mechanisms backfiring when misapplied' post, the bit about 'Juno’s intelligence is geared toward gathering clues and then assembling narratives, getting good insight checks and putting together a bigger picture that Nureyev has trained himself out of being able to see. they’re both very good at reading people but Nureyev’s strength is being quick on his feet and handling people and situations in the moment while Juno is good at mapping people’s inner landscapes and motivations')

and now another thing that strikes me about Juno's whole detective brain thing is the way his knowledge and memory is incredibly interconnected and associative, the way little pieces crop up in his mind and he knows they're important but not necessarily why, and has to hang onto them until he can see how they fit. The way he basically lives for his 'I connected the dots!!!' moments. he doesn't seem to have the same command over recall the way Nureyev does -- Nureyev's being extremely deliberate and structured, whereas Juno's pattern recognition and responses to prompts and triggers look a lot more instinctive, even if it's just that the way he works has allowed that talent to flourish

And from there you have an equally fascinating contrast in how heavily Nureyev also relies on his knowledge and memory, and yet his method hinges on that ability to compartmentalize, and how the the pieces stay extremely discrete. it's like. Nureyev's constantly putting shit away in filing cabinets, and Juno's constantly leaving stuff around all the time because How Else Would He Know Where It Is, it'll be there when he needs it

and then that leads to fascinating stuff like Nureyev's knowledge being incredibly precise yet fragmented, very purposefully weighed and deployed in the scenario he knows how to apply it to. and how that catches him off the back foot so spectacularly in Man In Glass by relegating useful context as extraneous so thoroughly he literally dissociates it. In Juno's case, the way he can see how things relate to each other backfires on him when he gets carried away, jumps to conclusions without necessarily having the groundwork/evidence/ability to show his work and back it up

ALSO. jury's out on how much Nureyev has actually considered whether his 'focus on the guard not the queen' mentality was shooting himself in the foot before Man In Glass but. something something Train From Nowhere 'i trust your eyes, for a start. and I trust your mind! a master detective's' etc. I get the sense that he recognizes what Juno does as a strength and a complementary skill (at least initially/on an instinctive level/when he's at his best. obv there's still him getting stuck on his Rules of Thieving/forgetting to listen/getting condescending and dismissive under stress but i think that sorta highlights the whole point that they're at their best when they're confident in that trust in each other.)

(also given the CMP heist it's not exactly just Nureyev and I kinda have to wonder if maybe the Aurinkos have Juno's jumping to conclusions tendency work great sometimes and then backfire a bunch of others so they can't always let him have a full head of steam at a precarious moment. i know i've seen ppl get frustrated about that bit and like yes it is a frustrating device but it still strikes me as different from the way that sort of thing is usually deployed, in that it has plenty of plausible grounding in the characterization and communication styles)

like yes i'm a simple man i go bonkers for them being competent at their chosen skills but 'we work well together' is such a cornerstone of their relationship and the way their minds are so different and dovetail so effectively is just. the drift compatibility is built into their psyches and it's absolutely *chef's kiss*

[my-autism-adhd-blog]

I’m in a gaming community for the sims 4 and I make mods and content for it and when I get stuck there’s a discord server where I go to to get help. I’m autistic and have adhd and a bunch of other mental health issues including depression and I’m a super nice person almost to a fault.

I swear whenever I go to get help from the folks in there they are incredibly condescending and mean to me. I’m probably twice these ppls age too and they talk down to me like I’m a child and tbh they shouldn’t even talk to children the way they talk to me. I bet they don’t even talk to folks like this irl either just ppl online or maybe just me. Whenever I see them help others they are helpful, nice, and polite but with me either they ignore me or they come at me with mean remarks or talk down to me.

These are folks that are considered popular in the community too and they make lots of money off their fans so I couldn’t even go after them if I wanted to or report them for harassment or anything tbh.

I’ve never once done anything to them nor am I “stupid” so to speak. I don’t understand why they’re like this to me so when I called one of them out for it the other person said it was “uncalled for” and then the person I called out eventually apologized to me when they got more info of my situation but regardless of my situation they shouldn’t have reacted how they did.

The one that said it was uncalled for later acted exasperated towards me with an “oh my god” towards me when I was trying to explain my issue in terms they would understand bc they weren’t getting what I had already said. And I’m the slow one? What the hell.

I’m just so fed up with being treated like shit but it’s the only place I can go to get help?!

What should I do? Just endure the abuse? Abandon my game? Stop modding? It takes a huge toll on my mental health and after that “oh my god” I was crying on the phone to my husband after he called me to check in. But the game is my escape from real life and I enjoy it as is modding. Ahhh. 😯

Idk I’m at a loss as to why people can be so mean to others especially online. 🙄😭 sorry for the long rant I have no one else to talk to for advice that is autistic. Ty if you have the spoons to read this, I appreciate you and your blog.

Hi there,

I think it’s cool they you can mod games. I’m not familiar with Discord, but I know people can be mean everywhere.

Is there any other servers that you can join? Or surely you’re able to block people on there if you have to.

Honestly I’m at a loss too. I’m hoping my followers can help. Surely there are some that have or are in similar situations like yours.

I’m so sorry that I couldn’t help answer your question. But I appreciate the inbox. I hope you have a wonderful day/night. ♥️

[magpod-confessions]

[spoilers for tmagp18]

sam frustrates me. i won’t say i dislike him because he’s a very compelling character—although i am glad there’s more of an ensemble cast so i can follow other storylines—but the way he talks to other characters comes off as rude and patronizing to me. he’s constantly prodding at alice’s sore spots, and even in the most recent episode, 18, he is trying to be helpful/protect her but she has to lay all her cards on the table to get him to understand/back down.

i think he could’ve handled celia standing him up better, too. like, he starts off fine, and it’s a legitimate grievance, but if someone told me “just don’t make a habit of it, yeah?” i would immediately lose so much sympathy for them. it’s condescending—it doesn’t come off as “hey this hurt my feelings and i don’t want to get hurt again,” it comes off as A) assuming that we’re going on more dates, B) assuming that me standing them up would be a regular possibility instead of a one-off or emergency, and C) assuming that i need to be told that—that i won’t be able to think of it myself. like, advice instead of a request.

sam saying “that makes sense” after lena told him she didn’t have kids made me stop dead. sam does not know her well enough to be sympathetic/understand why she wouldn’t have kids, and having kids is an incredibly sensitive topic for most people. therefore, the most reasonable interpretation is that sam has evaluated her personality and life and found it lacking in the qualities he associates with motherhood, which given the sensitivity of the topic, is incredibly rude. even if he didn’t intend this, those are the implications he sent.

lastly, the extent to which he took the bonzo thing also rubbed me the wrong way. and i should be clear—i LOVED it as a story moment. seeing gwen break like that? theorizing on what it reveals about sam that he would dismiss this but accept/lean into other bits of the horror and the supernatural? delightful. but if i worked at the OIAR, where we’ve all tacitly agreed that what we deal with is real and will always be present in ways we don’t expect, and my coworker laughed at me about classic mascot/clown horror? i would go berserk. and although sam wouldn’t know this, it’s made worse because we as the audience know that this is the most vulnerable gwen has been so far.

(sorry this is so long) 🗣️

Oh yea I get that. I dont have many opinions on him but to me he comes off as autistic and is trying to relate to ppl around him and mask but it just comes off wrong lol

[cherrybomb107]

Hi guys! I wanna make(yet another lmaoo) post about why I think ppl feel the way they do about Heimerdinger. In my children’s rights class the other day, we talked about the water crisis in my city. (Technically the city where my school is, but I live in the dorms, so let’s just call it my city for simplicity’s sake). Okay, so, the water in my city is unsafe. The pipes aren’t well kept, and there’s a lot of lead in our water that leads people to experience medical complications and get really sick later down the road.

My city’s population is 40% Black, and 15% Hispanic. It’s pretty clear that environmental racism plays a part. But, let’s put a pin in this for a second and come back to it. After talking about the water crisis, we talked about the idea of “slow violence” and “neglect vs. harm” and which one is “worse” between the two. “Slow violence” is violence that occurs slowly and gradually and doesn’t become obvious until it escalates. Perfect example is climate change. We’ve known how bad things would be if we didn’t make changes for decades now. But politicians, corporations and media outlets spent time and money spreading misinformation and downplaying the truly horrible effects of climate change, only now can we see how harmful that was because of the destruction caused by Hurricane Helene and Hurricane Milton.

The act of spreading mis/disinformation and downplaying how horrible something is is bad, for sure. But the true severity of just how bad isn’t easy to see until later, which is why I think it fits the criteria of “slow violence”. Now onto “neglect vs. harm”. The dictionary definition of “neglect” is: fail to care for properly. The definition of “harm”: physical injury, especially that which is deliberately inflicted. Now, when we were talking in class about if we thought that neglect and harm could be put on the same level, I was surprised by one of my classmate’s answers. False consensus effect beat my ass for a second lol. Because I don’t think they’re on the same level. I think neglect is leagues worse than harm. I think there is no greater evil than having the power to step in and stop something and choosing not to. My classmate disagreed.

He thinks that while neglect is awful, it’s not on the same level as actively harming someone. And to my genuine surprise(I am a bit of a know it all, so I was actually shook) he, and I’m sure many other people, feel that way. Which brings me back to how people feel about Heimerdinger, and his neglect of the Undercity. A lot of people don’t like Heimer because of how he failed Zaun. And even among his fans, it’s pretty universally accepted that he neglected the Undercity. But, because of the idea of “slow violence”, and the fact that many people don’t see neglect on the same level as active harm, Heimerdinger gets let off the hook.

Because at a certain point, ignorance becomes willful imo. Heimerdinger had 200 years to pull his head out of the sand and actually pass some policies that would help EVERYBODY, not just the folks in upper Piltover. But he chose not to. He actively made the choice, over, and over and over again to ignore the Undercity. He didn’t even THINK to go down there until Jayce kicked him off the Council!!! Imagine if Jayce hadn’t been there to give Heimer that much needed reality check! How many more centuries would’ve passed before he finally woke up and decided to do better??? I don’t even wanna think about it tbh. The “slow violence” that he was responsible for imo, is his negligence. Because in the face of arrogant, materialistic, self serving, condescending politicians as members of his Council, Heimerdinger did…nothing. He did nothing to stop all the horrible policies/laws these corrupt Councilors were most likely responsible for passing that only served them and the citizens of upper Piltover. He did nothing when the Enforcers were brutalizing folks and throwing them in prison. He didn’t even care to open his eyes to see what was going on in the first place! Jayce had to force him to!

He. Did. Absolutely. Nothing. And that’s the problem! People like Silco and the Chembarons are much more active in the forms of harm they carry out. Having kids work in factories, flooding the community with drugs, grooming a child into becoming the worst version of themselves etc, are all obviously violent. But being a politician who can afford to have all the power and all the ignorance in the world and allowing people like Silco to thrive in the first place is the ultimate act of violence imo. Being a politician who can kick back and wax poetic about “progress” and “scientific innovation” while Enforcers like Marcus are able to kidnap kids like Vi and throw them in prison without a fair trial is violent to me. So yeah😭😭😭

This post is an essay, my bad y’all lmaoo🤭🤭🤭

[homosexualasstransbian]

im transfem/nonbinary and honestly the whole cutesy uwu anime girl puppy girl aesthetic is making me feel ill. i recently got harrassed by a cis woman chaser who saw the transflag in my bio and started talking to me in this really weird overly cutesy way and started flirting with me, i told her im taken and not interested and this is weird and she said something like "oki u silly transie, if u ever need a girly to do something for you im here, cuz nornal girls are boring" and then the next day she sent me some image of some anime girl w/ the caption "im not like other girls, i have a massive cock" and asked "this u?" and she was so weird and gross and overly cutesy. and like the fact im trans is part of me and im proud of it but i want to be seen as me, as a person, as smthn beyond arbitrary boxes. thats why im nonbinary, i dont wanna be forced into some made up vague perception of how i have to be and instead just be me and do my own thing. i dont label my sexuality either but im pretty sure im like pretty aromantic. greyromantic or whatever its called. and my sexuality i kinda tie together with my romantic attraction, so its often incredibly odd to me how prevalent sexual language and stuff is online and how weirdly its treated as smthn normal, especially in more queer communities. and when i feel terrible and get support online, ppl will say ooo ur pretty ooo ur cute dont be sad and downplay it when i need someone to talk to qnd need to be acknoledged beyond how i physically am, it makes me feel rlly objectified and like my only value is in the fact that i am trans and how i look, and its my only thing and the only way ppl refer to me and boil me down to. but i dont want to be some cutesy meme girl, i want ppl to acknowledge me and what i do and like and love and enjoy and hate and dislike and think and say, i want to be seen and understood regardless of and beyond my transness. because im a raw, living breathing human person thats infinitely complex, and i just wanna be me and do what i enjoy. i dont want my personality boiled down to superficial aspects of me that exists solely because outside society needed a label for it to ostrasize or fetishize it. im sorry for the long rant its just rlly frustrating, especially when you try to find communities and its just so weirdly sexual and condescending and objectifying 😭

hey unfortunately, i do not have the mental capacity to be able to read all of this and actually respond to it, i just lose 80% of the ask once I'm finished reading, so I'll just say: damn fuck that cis bitch.

While i get that after your experiences this "aesthetic" might make you feel ill, i really don't see why i should be told this.

I do not choose the way i present to other people because it's what i feel i should look or act like, i act however feels good to me. the reason my blog looks like this is because, put simply, i like it.

I may not be just a puppy, girl or gay, in fact the most accurate way to describe me would be "thing that should not be alive as far as anyone knows, but it persists, it's also a puppy that is a girl, a robot, a void and divine flesh"

but i go with my current aesthetic, username, and whatever else because they're the descriptions I'm most confident in, they make me feel nice, i love them.

I am quite literally a tranny girl faggot that acts like a puppy sometimes.

Sometimes i feel like I'm a shattered vessel built of divine flesh that's empty and yet so completely full.

Sometimes i wish my flesh melted away, permanently fusing me with the outer shell of a mech.

None of my identities are fully separate or stable, but they also feel distinct enough that i only choose one at a time (and even then sometimes they can split apart).

I don't act like this because i wanna be "haha silly cute trans girl that's an adorable puppy and is so so overly sexual", it's just what i act like, in general, if I don't worry about pretending to be someone else.

I guess put simply: if you don't like me: fucking leave, block me, get rid of me, i won't hold it against you, I'll continue to do what i like, the way i like doing it, because this is my blog.

i forgot where i was going with this post, y'all just get this really long one i guess.

[mclwcc]

lmao i had to unfollow a mclaren moot because they took the "twink" thing to an extreme and were pointing out how he's just oscar's little twink and would always be fragile and small instead of big and strong and fit like "broadscar" and i really just had to. 🤦‍♀️ fit? FIT? lando was the only driver not on the brink of fainting after qatar, not everything in f1 is about how "broad" and "muscular" you seem. i wanted to give the benefit of doubt at first but when the fetishizing gay relationships turned into pushing these bodyshaming stereotypes onto a literal professional athlete i was out.

i mean its so wild bc half of them seem to give the twink descriptor to both drivers and half specifically pin it on lando because hes smaller than oscar & make it into a whole Dynamic of lando being sooo toppable or whatever. which just shows that there isnt actually any weight to 'twinklaren' at all and it rly is meaningless, bc surely if it was clear cut and obvious these differences wouldnt exist ykwim? like its just about what serves their fandom purpose in that moment

idk i think as much as the term broadscar is unfortunately quite funny to me, f1 fandom discussions abt weight and bodies r kind of bound to become problematic (real sense not 2014 tumblr sense) bc of the requirements of the sport. the way lewis has said that hes not allowed to bulk up because it would make his weight balance too lopsided (as a side note u guys do not know how ready i am for post retirement bicep BEAST lewis hamilton. the only way im gonna survive him retiring) etc like its not just about appearance for them.

in terms of how lando is fit like ur 100% right - stuff like qatar shows that he (and jon) has been doing his due diligence w preparing for these conditions. u can also just see in that last quadrant video how hes obviously very physically fit and ready for the season. its just that bodies have natural differences between them - oscar is genetically taller, lando is genetically more flexible; oscar is naturally broader around his arms, lando is naturally broader around his back, etc. and its not necessarily an issue to point these things out or even joke about them (when ppl say daniel's got birthing hips it still makes me laugh and its been years since i first heard it) but at some point it does start to show a fundamental misunderstanding of what f1 drivers do. like do i need to pull up the real sweat im a high performance athlete clip or what

so thats on the body stuff. re: the twink stuff i think the reason it rubs me, you, many ppl wrong even before we consciously realise it is like. a twink is a type - not just a body type, a *type*. in the gay male* community, you identify yourself as a twink (or bear, otter, etc) because some people are particularly attracted to twinks, bc they have a type. then obviously because the gay community is way more than just sexual attraction & has a lot of cultural capital, the term twink gained connotations and cultural history etc and grew past that. but the origins are still very much in gay male* attraction. so now that the term has become accessible to ppl who arent in that community, and therefore arent *participating*, identifying someone by their physical characteristics (and maybe implied penetrative sex preference) no longer has the subtext of appeal, but of derision. because no longer is it implied that everyone involved is a gay man*, which means calling someone a twink also implicitly calls them gay. and i think 'twink' specifically gained traction compared to other types also bc of its association w femininity in one's physical appearance - which, again, ur just derogatorily calling someone feminine and gay. even if, say, ur a member of the lgbt community who isn't a gay man*, it still carries the subtext - like anon u completely correctly identified the condescending undertones of whoever ur talking about. which is why i say we should just bring back fag #justsayfag

[beautifulpersonpeach]

I like the sound and vibe of On the Street, and I respect and can appreciate J Cole’s writing, but I’m confused about why that was the message chosen for this collab. Army is bombarding comment sections by repeating that it’s a ‘see you later��� song because Hobi is enlisting, but other than the chorus, what about these lyrics conveys that message? Their verses feel like they belong to separate songs to me. I’m not trying to be disrespectful, facetious, condescending, or sarcastic here, I really am confused and would like to understand, and I would appreciate any insights you might be willing to share.

I did see one comment on YouTube that said: “I heard someone say they wanted a second verse from J Hope but then they realized he did give us a second verse… in his first language, dance. And he did it beautifully” and I think this is my favorite take so far. Thank you for your time (sorry if this ask is dumb).

*

Ask 2: Can you pls review On The Street BPP?

*

Ask 3: Oh Hobi T T... OH JUNG HOSEOK T T... Oh this song T T...,,, Ugh my heart! Our sunshine, thank you for this wonderful music, experience, and feelings. You got me to the finals. I hope you can watch after me today, too. lol I LOVE YOU JUNK HOSEOK. I hope you are happy. I hope your toughest struggle is something you can overcome. I hope your sweetest memories have people who truly love you to share with if you so wish. Hope the world to you J-HOPE!!!!

*

Ask 4: I don't want to be rude but "as the moon jumps over the cow"??? Wut?? Isn't J Cole supposed to be some good lyricist? I saw khh and kpop fans questioning this collab and this lyric in particular and I think they're right. BTS should stop giving khh a bad name because now people will hate kpop.

*

Ask 5: Hi BPP, a lot of people are offended over J.Cole’s verse on atheists being stupid for not believing in a higher people, which further proves to me that they take everything a person says to be something to be Personally offended over, not an honest expression of ones thoughts. And why I think a reason why so many arent listening to true hiphop, true rap, the same ones that the rap line no doubt listened to… It just symbolises to me that these same people are so used to the sanitized version of music that a lot of kpop produces too because jcole’s verse wasnt even that bad honestly… i don’t know, it just came across to me as the same reaction religious people will have when you tell them god doesn’t exist, and a lot of people wont take issue with that too. I know I don’t as someone who belives in a god same way I don’t care that jcole thinks atheists are stupid lool I don’t know im just seeing the hypocrisy and them being unable to let art be art, let music be music.

*

Ask 6: heyya bbp~!

first of all, congrats to our hobi for another great track!!! haven’t been able to stop looping it bcuz it’s that good!! not only is army loving it, i’ve also seen jcole fans saying good things too and some really checked out hobi’s discography and were impressed,,which is what i’d call a successful collab! out of curiosity i checked the khiphop reddit to read what theyre reactions are but no surprise they only praised jcole and wanted other khiphop artists to have done it instead of hobi hah! i’m surprised that they’re still as snooty towards k-idols turned rappers,,but at the same time snooty ppl be snooty lol. but i’m curious if korean khiphop fans are still turning away the rapline’s work? esp hobi since he’s really made an effort to flex his skills in jitb,,i only ever seen ifans’ opinions and they’re hardly the representative when it comes to khiphop hah!

ofc whatever they’re opinions are it doesn’t impact hobi and suga and rm’s work in the long run,,especially since they’ve earned enough respect from their idols to be able to work with them,,i’m just curious! thankss bpp!

***

These six asks more or less cover the range of questions I've been getting, so I've collated selected asks here to answer all at once. :)

Hi Anon(s),

I'll try to keep this short.

Overall and Abridged Review: On The Street for me is a solid 10/10.

The Lyrics (as I understand them)

Anon in Ask 1, first I’d like to refer you to Hobi’s interview in Variety where he talks about the song (linked here) and I’ve posted an excerpt screenshot below.

*

Personally, rather than On The Street having a “see you later” message (probably inferred from Hobi waving goodbye to a kid in the opening scene), I see it more as a song marking a pivotal moment in both Hobi and Cole’s careers, as Hobi reflects on the paths he has walked to this point even as he continues on this street called life, and J. Cole wonders out loud if it’s time for a change, to grow beyond his identity as a rapper. It only feels like a “see you later” song in the sense that it will be a companion song, for me personally, while Hobi serves and until he returns from enlistment. I agree with the interpretation in the YouTube comment that Hobi is also storytelling/writing his second verse through dance while J. Cole is rapping, and that this is a beautiful way to see it too - but I’ll expound more on this below in Dance and the Message.

Anon in Ask 4, J. Cole is a brilliant lyricist and it’s funny you mentioned that line in particular because when I first heard it I nearly burst out laughing at how witty and brilliant it is. That line is an example of a classic Jermaine pun. I’ll explain: A lot of people grew up learning nursery rhymes, and one of the more popular ones I recall is Hey Diddle Diddle, which has the rhyme “the cow jumped over the moon”. This nursery rhyme is also the source of the English expression to be “over the moon” I.e. excited, elated, happy. J. Cole took that children’s rhyme and flipped it on it’s head to then mean the passage of time, “as the moon jumps over the cow”. He uses it to express time passing merrily for him as he contemplates his next career move. It’s also an absolutely brilliant way to rhyme with the previous bar that ends in “Golden Corral” (which is easily one of the sickest burns in his verse).

Anon in Ask 5, I agree with you almost fully. Outrage is the name of the game and has been the zeitgeist for at least 5 years now. Like what are you doing on the internet in 2023 if you’re not here annoyed, mocking something, being critical, and raging about something else? Even if that something is another autonomous human being expressing their opinion on God on their own song… Personally, when I come across HCP personalities online, I ignore them. If they interact with me I tell them they’ll somehow find a way to manage and cope, and we’ll all be alright in the end. In the case of this song, ignore them. They'll deal.

*

Dance and the Message (as I understand it)

Hobi's verse in this song is only 8 bars. J-hope practically gifts this song to J. Cole who spits 32 solid bars on this track. We all know J. Cole - a veteran in the rap game who has earned respect from everyone from Hov, Ye, Kendrick, down to avantgarde heavyweights like Jay Electronica - is one of Hobi's idols and so it's heartwarming to see the way Hobi expresses his respect for J. Cole, dancing underground while J. Cole raps on top of a building with nothing but the sky above him.

J-Hope dances the entirety of J. Cole's verse, just feeling himself, losing himself to the music while his idol spits fire. It's so fucking decadent. At the end of J. Cole's verse, Hobi walks out of the subway and climbs to the top to meet J. Cole as equals.

Hobi begins the song in an NYC alley that opens up into a main street where Hobi performs the song's main choreography on. This is the same location in J. Cole's Simba - the song that starts the Simba trilogy in J. Cole's discography, which was the first main track on J. Cole's debut mixtape The Come Up that established him as a force to be reckoned with on the American rap scene at only 22 years old. The setting alone is a callback and homage to J. Cole's beginnings, on which Hobi raps about his own path, wanting to repay those who have helped formed him into what he is, and the hope he has going forward.

Hobi has done something like this before, calling his first mixtape Hope World reminiscent of J. Cole's debut studio album called Cole World.

*

The Media and the Message (as I understand it)

One thing I absolutely adore about BTS's songs and music videos, is that they infuse them with the sort of depth that only comes from intimately knowing and respecting the subject matter, and they do so in such a subtle way that it's obvious they expect whoever is watching to actually know both the artist and the subject. They don't spoon-feed anything to the viewer, just present the art as is and if you've done your homework, that means you're their target audience and you're right in the middle of it with them. In the Variety interview I linked above, J-hope references his documentary (Anon who sent me the ask to review it, I've only seen clips and I'm yet to watch the full thing. When I do, I'll write about it 💜), where it shows Hobi meeting J. Cole and how he struggles but ultimately communicates his adoration and respect to Jermaine, and how Jermaine graciously receives it.

Take for instance how Hobi approached Chicken Noodle Soup originally by Bianca a.k.a. Young B who at the time she made that song and its iconic choreo, was only 16 years old. The song went viral but most of the royalties went to her uncle and she received almost nothing, she never got signed to a label, and was so badly burned by the industry that she only attempted making music again nearly 10 years after Chicken Noodle Soup. Hobi credits that song as one of the catalysts that sparked his love for hip hop and street dance. He reached out to Bianca and paid full rights (not just for a sample), to her (not her uncle), to use the song, and the music video is peppered with references to Harlem, NYC, where the song and dance originated. Showing that level of courtesy to smaller Black artists is rare in the US and virtually unheard of in Korea where the Korean hiphop (KHH) community is more notorious for wearing Black drag and appropriating a history of violence and a wealth of culture that they know absolutely nothing about, except that it looks cool.

When k-pop stans wax lyrical about how BTS is racist or does a Blaccent (this personally makes me chuckle because the people you often see saying this are white people who couldn't tell you the difference between an affected accent by a non-native speaker and a Blaccent if each slapped them on either side of their face), or that BTS doesn't have the respect of the Korean (or American) hip hop scene, et cetera, I chuckle and move on. Because as I've said, none of these people actually know what they're talking about.

The OGs of the KHH scene recognized the talent of BTS's rapline since debut, and have only expressed more respect for BTS as the years have gone by. I'm talking Tablo, the rest of Epik High, Tiger JK, etc. The Jay Parks of the world took some time to catch up, and if 'studio picture-gate' is any indication, they too have quickly come around to recognizing where they fit in the landscape relative to BTS. Rappers are generally egotistical people. They usually spend their time rapping about how they're the shit. What earns you respect is if you can actually back that shit up. And once you have that respect, you don't feel threatened by another rapper because you know anyone who gets to the top has had to earn it. It's what informs the mindset of "real recognize real". Namjoon, Yoongi, and Hoseok passed that hurdle, in my opinion, way back in 2016 with the release of Cypher Pt 4. Everything they've done since then is just jarra. And those at the very top, the Black rappers who imbibe the culture and history of rap music, have long recognized the rapline of BTS for what they are.

Personally, I love the song. The music, the whistling, the chord progression, the jazz and acoustic guitar instrumentation. Everything about it is perfect.

On The Street is an excellent example of what sets BTS apart from other idols and artists in Korea for me. This is a song conceived 100% in the mind of Jung Hoseok, and the seamlessness in execution, the maturity inherent in the respect paid to those whose music and culture they use as a medium, is present at every single point in the song. It's tastefully done, and 100% driven by the artist, and all I can do in the face of art like this, is respect it.

[microwaving-tesilid-argente]

character settings and dynamics of my s-class heroine genderbend AU

Tesilette dynamics get a little crazy and substantially different from canon here.

Trio & ReedAilette dynamics under cut, Tesilette in reblogs. If you're on mobile, read from here so you can scroll less.

(VERY long post under cut)

Hestio Ligenel

Literally the same characterisation as canon Hestio, idk what to tell you. Looks the same as well.

(Same HC as for canon Hestio) Very careful with her hair. God forbid anyone who messes with her bottles of shampoo and conditioner and hair oil

She’s a bit conflicted about the fact that she’s the only one among her friends without a nickname. Unfortunately, the fact is that her name is literally un-nicknameable

Ephael “Elphie” Chaletino

Decently buff

After the toy mansion, she trained like crazy to become stronger. There's only so much a supporter can do, after all, if the bruiser being buffed is weak to begin with

She would be even buffer if she had the choice, but unfortunately the stigma bearers are still treated like shit. Her diet is nowhere near optimal

Realised her given name was masculine when she was around 5. When she asked the orphanage’s caregiver why she was given this name, she was told that the old man priest who named her had passed a couple years ago so no one knows. They're all just using the name she was given

Ephael doesn’t really care about her name, though. She thinks it's funny when people see “Ephael” on the name list and waste their time looking for a man.

Tesilina gave her the nickname Elphie (Did you really think Hestio would’ve given her such a cute name?)

Hesphael dynamics

Ephael likes to flop over hestio and put her arms around hestio and lace her fingers together and to press kisses against her hair and ear and neck and to crow about how hestio can’t get rid of her. Hestio thinks they're just bantering.

Tesilina has to watch them be idiots for several years before Hestio finally figures it out.

Luckily for Tesilina, this happens before her regression starts so she doesn't have to sit through this a bajillion times

Tesilina “Tes” Argente

Hestio gave her her nickname because her name was too long.

Constantly harassed by men. Hestio & Ephael have taken to being her guard dogs and chasing off men on her behalf

Her being a stigma bearer ends up being good sometimes. When people try to retaliate against the three of them, Tesilina just says, “They were defending my honour… I have long since decided to devote myself to the Strict Order alone, after all” and then people can't really fault her for being so pious

(It doesn’t really work on all ppl when it’s a man whom people see as a respectable bachelor, especially if they're someone high-ranking within the vatican.)

When the subjugation is easy, incompetent men sometimes try to take her tank role in order to “protect the lady” in the name of “chivalry”. But when it’s hard, Tesilina becomes just a dispensable stigma bearer who is of course expected to tank at the risk of her life. It’s a headache for her because she’s deprived of opportunities to farm EXP and divine power, on top of being extremely condescending. She can’t even tell the men off for trying to do her job.

She’s still in the Knights of Worship division without Hestio & Ephael

Hestio & Ephael tried to transfer in but were thwarted by the division, who said that subjugations were "serious business, not outings for girlies to giggle"

Tesilina decided not to transfer out because dealing with their shit farms the Virtue of patience quite well. And because she’s never learned self-preservation in her life. Hestio had to stop herself from strangling Tesilina for this.

Reed

(MAJOR SPOILERS FOR NOVEL CH 130+ / WEBTOON S3 OR 4)

Present Round!Tesilina is more cutthroat than in canon, because the two friends who have accompanied her throughout her regressions have become a source of obsession for her.

She's seen them die too many times and in too many horrible ways

And they've always been protective of her as well, so it's impossible for her not to care about them. They - and not Ailett - are her crutch and her source of strength and what makes her feel like herself and a human, in a world that is determined to make her feel otherwise.

Like straight up she doesn't even gaf about Ailett anymore. She was interested for a short while but Ailett isn't the object of her obsession like in canon.

I hit tumblr's image limit so the full scene is here: link

The hair clip Reed is using is the one Hestio & Ephael bought her for her 15th birthday.

As Tesilina, she only ever wore it for formal occasions because she didn't want to risk breaking it in combat. As Reed, she’s now confident that she won’t get into fights that seriously endanger her, or the clip. And this counts as a formal occasion – she’s arranging their collective funerals.

The one Reed is using is stolen from the current round. She forgot to take it from the 100th because she was too preoccupied being empty and depressed and headed straight for the abyss. And when she had time to think in the 17th, she started to wish she had it. Well, it’s not like 17th really needs it anyway. 17th wasn't even supposed to be alive to use it.

Reed visits Hestio & Ephael right after watching her own funeral from the shadows. This scene is meant to be the chapter right after the scene above about Reed and Ailett's falling out.

This scene is a major spoiler for the fic, but this story is too ambitious and requires too much setup for me to realistically finish, so whatever. I hit tumblr's image limit, so here

Continued in reblogs:

Tesilette dynamics

Ailett's character settings

Bianca

[skykashi]

Hello hello, a friend stopping by to say - Stop feeding the trolls, a big long reaction out of you is all they're after and the more you give it to them the more they'll show up. You don't need to address every wrong opinion in the world as much as they might annoy you and it's actively detrimental to an individual's mental health to try to do so. 10/10 recommended deleting the asks and reading something much more fun. (This is reading like a condescending asshole because I've already taken my sleeping tablet and my brain is mushy - I stg it's coming from a place of "I have the exact same impulse but focussing on idiots means not spending time focussing on cool fun stuff")

Hello friend ✋😊

thank you for stopping by. You're absolutely right, I try to ignore the things that rubs me the wrong way as much as I can although I know sometimes I fail to ignore it without ranting about it here or with my friends, most of the times I fail to ignore it tho it would be when ppl are being unfair to Kakashi and I love Kakashi so much that I just can't ignore it without trying to correct whatever misinformation that was here. The thing is, I can't handle the idea of ppl being unfair in general because when I was little, not older than 4, 5 years old, whenever my grandfather visited us he always gave me half of whatever he gives my brothers, like, if he gave by brothers a pound each, he would give me half a pound, if he gave us candy or chocolate, he would give them 2 bars each and gives me 1 just because he thought that boys are more superior than girls and so they should have twice as much as girls should have and I would cry the entire day because of how unfair that was, like I didn't understand how on earth being born as a boy makes one better!! I didn't see my brothers doing anything more special than me for them to deserve more and me to deserve less so this made me grow up HATING the idea of ppl being unfair in general and seeing the fandom overrating all the other characters while underrating and downplaying Kakashi all the time just drives me nuts because it's so unfair, it's so unfair for the fandom to decide that Kakashi deserves less than what he canonically has and try to take it away from him while giving the other characters more than they have in canon, I just don't understand why can't they be fair to all the characters? Even if they like the other characters more, that doesn't give them the right to be so unfair like this ☹️

[nerdfighterwhatevernumbers]

#don't forget than many autistic aces were also told#that they /were/ really autistic but they weren't ace they were just 'being desexualized by ablists and don't know better'#the most condescending infantilizing bs#many people touted 'aces can be at pride!...if they're also REALLY queer (gay trans etc)'#otherwise we're invading spaces and should make our OWN events#i still flinch when i see posts about 'gay public spaces besides bars and clubs'#the concept of gay cafes REALLY made the aphobes come out#accusing us of calling them all sexual deviants bc some people liked the idea of a place without the expectation of going there#to meet potential partners#heaven forbid you were demi/graysexual and not even 'really'ace#bc 'that's just how everyone is you just want to feel special!'#the people who claimed we couldn't use the term corrective rape bc it originated from Black lesbians describing their experiences#meanwhile Black lesbians were like 'we don't care if they use it wtf?'#and like the autistic ppl correcting them about 'aspec' they ignored them or claimed they were lying about their identity#saw posts from a bi woman I used to follow#about how it'sokay to bring her straight BF to pride bc he's with her and is allowed to be there as an ally#and it doesn't make her less bi to be with him#and in the same post say 'but straight aces don't belong there and need to go somewhere else'

All this but also the constant assertion that aces were uniquely homophobic. There was homophobia in ace communities, but there were also troll blogs pretending to be homophobic aces, sex-repulsed aces who were just talking about sex-repulsion in general, and lots of homophobia from other queer blogs that weren't ace. There was and still is homophobia in bi communities, trans communities, and even gay communities, but somehow aces were singled out.

There's still a refusal to talk much about alloaros and there was this idea that the only people who would be alloaros are misogynistic men who want to have meaningless sex with women, then in the same breath they'd say aces are the ones slut-shaming. They said demis and grey aces were hypersexualizing others because if you think you experience attraction less than others you're allegedly saying other people are naturally horndogs and sluts. Not only was saying kids could be ace sexualizing them, exclusionists claimed it was putting CSA victims in danger because hyper interest in sex is a sign of sexual abuse and if kids can be ace then they can be allo and we'll ignore a kid expressing sexual interest.

For some reason, we were told we aren't allowed to use general queer terms. A very popular queer blog said they disapproved of aros and aces using the phrase 'coming out'. We couldn't call people trying to make us allo 'conversion therapy' or say we were subject to comphet even though everyone is. Queer blogs would have lists of what queer identities could reblog their posts in case an aspec accidentally related to another queer person's experience. One lesbian blog specifically allowed everyone BUT aromantics to reblog their posts.

There was also responding to any post about queer platonic partners with 'You mean friends?' and saying the only way you could think of a QPP is if you didn't have real friends to know the difference. If you wonder why people define QPRs in the most restrictive terms of 'living together and raising children together and even getting married' it's because that's how far we had to go to explain that we understood the difference between friendship and partnership.

They treated being aspec like you were saying 'I'm 1/16th Cherokee' to get into a meeting of POC and ignored any stories of people being abused, raped, or taken off needed medications in an effort to make them allo.

One blogger I unfollowed last year said they only believed aspecs were discriminated on an individual level and not a systemic level. This is true in very specific matters like gay marriage, imprisoning trans people in the wrong jails, dadt- it is true some things won't happen to certain aspecs. But it ignores that conversion therapy is systemic and happens to aces, the medical discrimination faced by aces who are given or denied meds based on their asexuality, the way the legal and economic system are designed around couples and not single people so a non-romantic partner is denied inheritance or hospital visits and you can't afford to live without a spouse, the way single parents are disadvantaged and discriminated against, the fact that I'd have to lie or file for common-law marriage for my QPP to be on my insurance...

But if you bring this up, oh, that isn't against aspecs, it just HAPPENS to be against single people and people perceived as not attracted to the opposite sex enough. Which somehow doesn't mean people with no sexual or romantic attraction. And if you really want to be oppressed, you should be hate-crimed more, but obviously if you don't tell someone on the first date you're ace that's not avoiding violence, it's entrapment.

I don't think younger/newer users fully grasp the shit show that ace discourse was around 2014-17

It was so hostile that, to this day, discussions that begin to derail just enough can make me physically nauseous, some specific mockery trigger crying sessions years later. We lost most accounts with any sort of ace positivity. There was no information, no support, and all this damage was done predominantly by other queer people.

All this to say that you, however you identify yourself, should be engaging with aphobic comments the same way you do any hate. We don't sugarcoat or try to be comprehensive with people who are blatantly racist, homophobic or terfs, so why give it a pass just because it's coming from a queer person? I see how this tolerance goes and it's done enough damage as it is.

[clarabowmp3]

I wish Taylor would tell her fans to stop thinking about her exes so much, like I know some of them cannot break the habit and it's like a ritual conversation which is comforting but still. Since she's into telling her fans off for being wrong and controlling her and living through her and pretending they can predict her, and pretending she doesn't care about things she does care about she can call out the Swifties who have so many hours in a day to talk about a guy who does not matter and hasn't matter for a while now. It's sad how some fans see everything she does as being about some guy she used to love. A creative person can do things for fun, nobody thinks about people who used to be in their lives that much. Not people as busy as Taylor for sure. We are not in the post-exe times. Not everything is about him.

Yup yup definitely, the weeks after her breakup with Joe was confirmed were sooo hellish for me, many of the biggest blogs I followed openly spewing such vitriol towards him or coming up with condescending nicknames like ‘joebless’ and ‘yb’ and while I would expect smth like this from tiktok swiftie to see this on tumblr dot com in the year of our lord 2024???? I rlly thought most of us would be above this but guess not. I agree that she’s dated some more than questionable men in the past but that doesn’t mean they’re always at fault and even after so long London was released, no one seemed all that apologetic for the way they behaved OR WORSE cherry picked parts of the song to further bash joe. Like this is straight up mean girl behaviour/bullying!!!! yall are being awful ppl!!!!!!!!! Does your fave rlly mean that much to u??

I’ve seen some ppl say it’s good that she’s telling fans off abt trying to control what she can or cannot do, and I don’t necessarily disagree but I think there’s more nuance to it. When it comes to the Vienna incident, yes I totally get it, ppl shouldn’t have been pressuring her to speak up etc. My problem is when people lump things like her matty healy fling into this kind of take-no-shit attitude, or her private jet emissions (again, there’s nuances, im not saying she should auction her jet off or smth lmao).

So given how outspoken she’s been this past year I don’t understand why she doesn’t tell swifties to back off abt her exes? I suppose one possible explanation is that she doesn’t mind it/likes it, esp with the way she’s been so heavily incorporating Travis into her brand, like she does his archer pose during midnight rain part of the tour nowadays right? Personally (I a random person don’t know the inner workings of her brain, this is just my opinion/inference) I think she plays up this whole ex bashing thing/being cosy with her current bf etc to stay relevant/trendy? It gives ppl smth to talk about, gush over on social media so it increases her engagement with the younger, more immature gen z tiktok demographic. The reason why this all feels a little disingenuous to me is cuz she’s never played up her relationship on tour like this, certainly not to this extent, and idk if it’s a result of parasocial relationships or if she’s doing stuff like this to strengthen those relationships.

Whatever it is, yep fans should separate the art from the muse, but im also not sure how much it actually bothers her as long as it keeps her on top of her game

[mental-health-advice]

I’ve been thinking I have bpd for a very very long time probably ever since I first heard about it and then my sister tries to patronize me and saying incredibly ableist stereotypes abt it to me. She thinks bc certain ppl she’s been close with that she suspects bpd (not even actual dx and she tells me I shouldn’t “self diagnose” and I have never done so which is so condescending) she thinks ppl w bpd are a “drag” to be around and it made me very uncomfortable to hear and she believes my symptoms are purely autism/adhd and c-ptsd (despite the fact that c-ptsd and bpd often are very comorbid with one another) and she actually said to me “why do you wanna have bpd so bad?” which i felt so disgusted by. I would love to get dx but I know that doctors are very hesitant to dx it regardless. Not to mention I believe showed signs even before anything traumatic happened. I’m just tired of her talking down to me abt what I go thru. I apologize for such a long post

Hey there,

It sounds as though, instead of really wanting a BPD diagnosis, you are instead just wanting answers/ wanting a reason behind how you may think or behave in your daily life

I am so sorry that your sister said what she did in regards to those people who do have BPD are a ‘drag’ to be around. As someone who has a BPD diagnosis themself, this is hurtful to hear and so I can only imagine how it must have affected you and especially as you don’t have an accurate diagnosis as yet.

I cannot speak about if you do have BPD or not but you are so right in saying that there is a direct link between BPD and CPTSD. It is interesting to hear though that you mentioned that doctors are hesitant to make a diagnosis of BPD despite how helpful it may be in regards to treatment options and how the person can then make changes in their life where possible to limit the negative behaviours that BPD can bring with it. It may just be where you live though or the health professionals you currently see that are hesitant in making such a diagnosis but as the years have gone on, there is less stigma (there is still a bit but not nearly as much as there once was) attached to BPD. If you are looking for answers though and are not getting the help/ support you are needing to get them, then you can always ask for a second opinion or ask to see to a different mental health professional like a psychiatrist who can make these hard diagnoses. Doing this I assure you will not ‘make out’ that you are wanting that possible BPD diagnosis but rather are just wanting some answers to why you may behave/ react in different situations or help to explain your symptoms and consequently being able to implement helpful strategies and/ or therapies to aid in your recovery.

I really hope that this has helped a bit and please do let us know if we can help to support you in any other way!

I’m thinking of you and hope that you are going well!

Take care,

Lauren