#but i can feel the immersion working...if i keep pushing i am sure i will see more progress
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
Text
i really should make rice more often i just never do because it takes time and im not in touch with my hunger signals enough to plan it out properly anymore plus with my family always blasting the tv (misophonia) i usually end up wanting/needing to spend as little time in the kitchen as possible...but i do miss rice...SIGH
#mine#well now that im unemployed maybe i can have it at lunch or early dinners or something#did u guys know last month during the training for the job i had to have a 15 minute lunch!??!?!?#so awful. the company was east coast based so the schedule was based on them and not me#but thats neither here nor there. i miss you rice#also i rbed that last post with the ferret or whatever it is at 33033 notes do you think thats a good omen#also i just had a fun little jpmd session im not going to post bc it was pretty short ill just combine it into the next post#but i can feel the immersion working...if i keep pushing i am sure i will see more progress#im trying to get into audio immersion as well like on youtube and stuff#i still like the more structural and classroomy stuff but i learned so much of that (at a basic level)#that i feel like i have a good enough grasp of the skeleton of things and now i want to do FUN learning#like jpmd! :)#it really helps the structures set in and it teaches me BUTTLOADS of vocab for real#and now even when im playing the yakuza games im noticing progress. i can pick out tons more individual words#in sentences and when i hear them i can connect them to the translation#sometimes even whole sentences!!!!! its pretty exciting#being employed kept me away from jp for a while so now that i am jobless again im gonna try to really get back into it#while i still can#ok tag ramble over
0 notes
Text
「 ### : 」 Modern AU ish !! Reader’s weight/size/etc. is not mentioned !! Imo Wrio is strong as fuck, so it literally doesn’t matter how much you weigh because this mf will have you sit on his back while he does push ups and will come out invigorated and wanting to do like 20 more, but this is a warning just in case it breaks your immersion !!
“No.”
“Please?”
“No.”
Wriothesley wraps his arms around your middle, tugging you in close so you’re pressed up against his chest. You fight back the urge to melt into his warmth and give in to his ridiculous request. The cheeky smile he wears —undoubtedly aware of the effect he has on you— makes you grit your teeth and steel yourself out of pure spite.
“Sweetheart,” he coos, honey sweet and trying to be convincing.
“Wriothesley. No.”
“Sweetheart, baby,” he tries again, leaning to murmur it in your ear— the unfair, cheating shit. You’re not sure if you want to punch him or kiss his stupid face. “Love of my life. Person I’m gonna marry. Apple of my eye. Snookums—“
“Shut your mouth.” But he does not, and you’re on the verge of strangling him.
“Honey. Pookie bear.“ He grins, holding you tighter so you’re subject to listening to all the stupid ass nicknames he can call you. “My little discord kitten—“
At the sheer cringe and secondhand embarrassment, you slap a hand over his mouth with a grimace. It works, kind of. Wriothesley’s barrage of nicknames is silenced, but you can practically feel his smirk against your palm. You’re painfully aware of the firm but gentle hold he still keeps on you— painfully aware of how you’re probably fighting a losing battle when he’s this dead set on something.
“I am not going to sit on your back while you do push ups,” you say, and that smirk melts into a pouty little frown. “I already told you it’s dangerous. You could get hurt or something.”
He pulls your hand off his mouth by the wrist, expression looking less-than-pleased. “Sweetheart, if you think that I can’t lift you, then I must be doing something terribly, terribly wrong.”
“But if you’re worried about me, then how about this—“ he presses your hand to his cheek, holding it there with his own so he can lean into your touch and peck a quick kiss to your palm. “You sit on my back while I do my routine, but if you ever think that I’m pushing myself or I’m getting tired, then you can hop off and go back to what you were doing, okay?”
You bite the inside of your cheek, but in the end you’re weak to him when he’s this sweet to you, and all you can do is sigh a small, ‘fine.’ If it makes him happy, then why the hell not—
And later, with Wriothesley in that unfairly flattering black compression shirt and you sat on his back, you absolutely eat your words. You can only sit in silent shock and hardly hidden appreciation when the man goes through more than half of the reps for his first set.
“Holy shit,” you murmur, watching in astonishment how he easily pushes up with your combined weight, not a single muscle trembling in overexertion. He’s not at all rushed, taking his time with each upwards lift so as to not jostle you. Wriothesley can hear the awe in your voice, and has the audacity to chuckle. He’s not even breathless.
“What did I say, sweetheart?” He sounds smug, proud— undoubtedly delighted to be able to show off in front of you. Like a puppy who was told he did a good job. You kind of want to kiss him. “So, want to help me out tomorrow, too?”
#astronetwrk#「 🐈⬛ 」 catcze.desserts#genshin impact x reader#wriothesley x reader#cw gn reader#genshin impact#wriothesley
3K notes
·
View notes
Note
Hello, Sunshine! Congrats on the 4000!! I'm honoured to count myself between those 🙌🏼
I would like to make a request, so I can join in the festivities. I've been thinking hard to give you something nice, and suddenly an idea struck me, so I humbly offer it to you:
Female reader/Tech (no surprise here, right?), pre-relationship, for some accidental reason (up to you) Tech touches her hair/skin gloveless, and he becomes fascinated by how soft it is (he is a soldier, but I'm sure he appreciates fine things), and I'm picturing him here with a slightly addictive personality, so he starts touching and petting her, kind of absent-mindedly while he is working, or she goes next to him (or at that same moment, tho, whatever fits you better). Reader starts getting flustered because those fingers, am I right. I can see a NSFW ending, but if it doesn't come to you, it's fine.
I would just love to see this idea played out in your style!
Thank you so much! And more than anything, have fun!
Just A Little More***
Tech X F!Reader
word count: 3k
Tech had never struck you as the touchy-feely type so why is it when he asks you to do repairs for him that he just can’t keep his hands to himself and how can you get his hands to move elsewhere?
warnings: NSFW 18+ only. Explicit sexual content and language, non established relationship, accidental caressing, slightly touchy-feely Tech but SFW, first kiss, skin kisses, Intercrural sex (thigh sex/thigh job), handjob, minor nipple play, friends to lovers. Not proofread.
authors note: Thank you for the request my beautiful @doublesunsets and apologies for the huge wait! Hope this is okay🤍
You're feeling perplexed.
Though, It's not necessarily an unusual sensation since joining The Bad Batch and adapting to their peculiar ways of living and combat. However, your current confusion reached a peak a few days back.
Tech had summoned you beneath the ship for repair assistance and out of nowhere, he began tracing his fingers along your forearm. You looked at him, then your arm, and then back at him as he remained absorbed in his task, and for some reason, you refrained from questioning his actions. You gathered that perhaps he was so engrossed in his task that he didn't realise he was touching you, and so you dismissed it as an accident.
Yet, it persisted. He continued seeking your help, tasks usually assigned to Echo, and despite assigning you a task, his hand consistently found its way to your arm, fingers casually brushing against your skin. It was peculiar but not entirely unwelcome.
This routine persisted for a week until the last occurrence compelled you to finally seek an explanation.
One evening in the confined space of your bunk, your face bathed in the dim glow of your datapad's screen when a message notification from Tech pops down. The request for assistance in the cockpit sparks a strange sensation in your chest – a mix of nerves and intrigue, perhaps. Without letting him wait for a response, you place the datapad down and traverse through the ship.
Upon entering the cockpit, the soft hum of the machinery surrounds you. But there in the pilot's seat is Tech, immersed in his own datapad, donned in his underarmour wear. The steady rhythm of his fingers tapping on the screen adds to the ship's ambient sounds and your footsteps echo softly as you approach.
Hearing your approach, Tech glances up, pushing his goggles up his nose with a subtle yet distinct motion. "Ah, there you are.”
"Here I am," you respond with your hands on your hips, a hint of awkwardness in your voice as a sudden wave of shyness washes over you. But non-surprisingly, Tech doesn't seem to notice.
He goes ahead and explains the task at hand—helping with wiring under the control panel. Following the usual protocol, you swiftly retrieve the necessary tools and gloves. As you slide on your gloves, you notice Tech doing the opposite, peeling his off, a recurring behaviour over the last few days.
With your curiosity getting the better of you after the last few days, you inquire, "What are you doing?" His confusion is evident as he looks at you, brows furrowed. When you gesture to his now bare hands, your gloved ones drawing attention, he seems momentarily flustered.
"Oh... I am not too sure," he mumbles, hastily putting the gear back on before moving toward the control panel, ready to slide underneath.
His genuine confusion hints that it might be learned behavior—perhaps he grew accustomed to the contact, and the lack of questions made it a norm. So, setting aside these thoughts, you join him under the control panel, observing his nimble fingers at work with the wires. Although his explanations might be slipping past your ears, you find enjoyment in watching him in his element. As you assist with holding the wires and passing over tools, a subtle but palpable shift in the air suggests that something feels different.
A subtle warmth builds beneath your clothes, and you attribute it to the close proximity to Tech, though the unfamiliar mix of nerves and intrigue from before confuses you even more.
The absence of his gentle touches leaves you feeling somewhat adrift, and a part of you yearns for that contact once again. It's a peculiar sensation, considering he seemed unaware of it all.
Caught in your internal questioning, Tech, too, is in a trance of his own. His nimble fingers have paused in their task, and instead, he's captivated by the scent and touch of your hair brushing against his cheek. With your head tilted to the side, loose strands cascade down, lightly grazing over his cheek.
He knows the smell.
It’s the hair care product you had begged him to add to the list of resources once in a supply run because as you once said ‘if I’m gonna kick arse, I want my hair soft, shiny and smelling good in the process’. And for some reason, he said yes. Maybe he was soft on you or maybe it was because you constantly asked and he was getting a headache.
He wasn’t sure but what he did know was that it was soft.
And shiny.
And smelt beautiful.
The moment holds a certain intimacy, yet neither of you seemed to notice eachothers reactions; both of you lost in your own thoughts.
Tech swiftly resumes his task, jolting into action after a subtle shift from you beside him, and a focused silence envelops the cockpit. You exhale softly, attempting to steady your breathing and cool the warmth beneath your clothes. Blinking, you glance away from his hands, awkwardly holding the small screwdriver he had asked you to handle a few moments ago.
As he finishes, both of you slide out from under the control panel. Surprisingly, you find Tech standing there with his now ungloved hand outstretched towards you.
Pausing for a moment, you look at his hand and then to him, a curious desire to test his reaction arising. Deciding to slip your gloves off first, the motion seems to momentarily freeze him. His throat bobs as he swallows hard, and you seize the opportunity to slip your bare hand into his outstretched one.
His hand is warm, perhaps a bit sweaty, but the touch feels natural, fitting. With a gentle tug, he helps you onto your feet, but instead of releasing your hand, he continues to hold it. His gaze fixates on your intertwined hands, and his thumb lightly brushes over your skin, sending a subtle thrill through you.
As your heart quickens and the warmth intensifies, your eyes remain fixed on his face, searching for clues.
Unable to wonder any longer, you break the silence with a whispered yet firm question, "What's going on, Tech?" His trance is broken, and he shifts his gaze from your hand to your eyes. With a clearing of his throat, he attempts to conjure an excuse to leave the cockpit, but as he moves past you, you grab his arm, pulling him to a halt.
"I don't think so. Tell me what this is about.” The air is charged with anticipation as you await his response.
"Well, alright," he starts, turning back to face you but struggling to meet your gaze. "Would you believe me if I said I did not know?"
You blink at him but offer a small smile, "Tech, I'd believe you if you said this whole planet was made out of cheese."
Seeing him relax, you notice a slight smile as he moves to lean against the control panel, folding his arms over his chest. "I suppose my only reasoning behind it is that I am not used to such contact. Nor am I used to touching something… soft."
You raise a brow, slightly amused, but a small flutter stirs in your chest at his words. "You think my hands are soft?"
"Yes," he admits, a subtle raspiness in his tone, "immensely."
The heat of the blush intensifies as Tech's sweet compliments linger in the air, leaving you somewhat flustered. Your attraction to him, always present, takes on a new depth as you watch him work up close and feel his touch.
His words almost make you crumble, and you find yourself at a loss for a proper response, opting instead for a playful comment about the soap bar you use.
"Ah yes, I have seen it in the refresher," he notes, his hands now behind him, gripping the edge of the control panel. His fingers strum somewhat nervously, creating a subtle melody in the air.
Nervously chewing on your lip, the action doesn't escape Tech's notice as his skin grows warm as you both stand in an awkward silence, unsure of the next move. It's you who takes the initiative, closing the distance with a step closer.
"You know, you can carry on touching me if it makes you feel better," you suggest, and Tech's eyes slightly widen.
"It is not an action that makes me feel 'better,' so to speak," he explains, visibly relaxing, "but it is just a sensation that I have been enjoying. If it made you feel uncomfortable in any way, you should tell me."
A soft giggle escapes you, and this time, you come to a stop directly in front of him. Gently reaching for his hand, you bring it into your own. "If I had a problem with it, I would've said. I also wouldn't be doing this."
The touch carries a subtle yet intentional message, one that surprisingly resonates with Tech. Not known for his overt emotional responses, he acknowledges the unspoken connection between you two. "I suppose not," he nods, standing tall. His fingers trace over yours, a silent exploration mapping every scar and freckle.
“They are so soft.” He mumbles more to himself than he does to you, seemingly in a complete trance.
You watch him, like you had done for the last few days and you can’t help but feel like you’ve read the situation between you both correctly. So, summoning your courage just above a whisper you say, “I’m pretty soft in other places too.”
He halts for a moment, meeting your gaze with wonder. “I can not lie and say that that did not sound arousing… and inviting.”
You raise a brow, a cocky yet enticing smirk on your lips. “Maybe it was an invitation?”
Tech has no words, he doesn’t know what else to say but instead watches as you take a step back from him and start to pull your shirt away from your body.
You stand in front of him, shirtless.
He didn't need Hunter's senses for this; he could smell you, almost taste you. Your skin had a glow amidst the dim lights of the ship, and his nostrils filled with the faint mist of your soap.
The subtle aroma encapsulated the moment, heightening the sensory experience as his eyes continued to explore the intricate details of your body. The air in the cockpit seemed charged with a connection that was too intense to deny.
“You are beautiful.”
Your eyes shine at his words and you naturally move back towards him, his hands instinctively moving to your waist where you inhale a sharp gasp, your skin tingling at his touch alone. “Do you want me, Tech?”
His fingers trail along your skin and you see him dab his lips idly with his tongue. “More than I have ever wanted anything before.”
Grinning, you nod for him as a go ahead as you lean yourself against the console as his hold on you tightens, dexterous fingers dancing against your skin until they land at the buckle of your pants, a teasing tug suggesting he wanted to see all of you.
“Go ahead,” you rasp, mouth salivating as Tech hums in approval and helps you slide your pants down to your ankles.
Cool air hits your skin followed by the warmth of his hand moving down to the curve of your arse, muttering something quietly to himself which has you giggling under his touch.
“Something amusing?” He quips, hands moving from your arse to your breasts, fondling them gently.
“This is the quietest I’ve seen you is all.”
Chuckling he says, “When I am in deep thought, experiencing my desires, I tend to fall quiet.”
“Desire, hm?” You purr. Tech slowly begins circling you, letting his trained hands, so often equipped with his datapad, tools, blasters now caress every single inch of your nude skin. With a grasp at your hips, your back is dragged to his chest, his hands on the soft skin of your stomach.
“Desire…fascination…lust…” he grins as you gasp, his hands cupping both of your breasts, your head lolling back into his shoulder.
“Tech,” you whine, legs trembling as his fingers brush over your stiffening nipples, pinching them between his fingers.
“Yes, dear? Do you like this sensation?” He breathes down your ear, lips brushing against your lobe before they move to your shoulder, a sweet kiss planted.
“Mm, yeah- s’good.” You wriggle against him, your arse pressed to his solid cock.
He sighs against you in pleasure, playing with your tits as you move your hands behind you, cupping him between his legs, heart racing as you gather how big and ready he was for you.
“I can help with that.” He grunts as he moves one hand away from you, tugging himself out of his pants so you can get a firm hold and as your hand grips his heated length he lets out a beautiful whine of his own.
“Fuck,” Tech ruts agaisnt your soft hand, everything he had been wanting to feel around his cock becoming reality. He finally spins you to face him, nearly knocking you off your feet as his lips crash to yours, desperate and full of passion.
“You’re wonderful.” His groan is guttural, lips moving from yours down your neck, over your collar bones until they latch to one of your nipples, sucking and ever so gently biting at the peaks before he laves his tongue flat against your flesh.
You curse, his pace slow and tantalising as his hand strokes your other breast, feeling its weight in his hand and thumbing your plump nipple.
Clit throbbing with an unmet need for attention, you cry out his name and he removes his mouth with a small pop, he places a tender kiss to your lips.
“Can I try something?” You are flushed against him, cock pressing to your stomach and you nod eagerly.
“Of course.”
He grinds his hips against you softly for a moment, there was no set rhythm and was based entirely on instinct and desperation alone. His hands bite your hips as he kisses your neck and shoulder, earning quiet, content hums in response.
His hands dug between his and your stomach. “Just let me—“ he takes a hold of his cock, wet and leaking, before pressing it between your thighs.
“Ah, fuck, so soft.” He choked, pushing his goggles up his nose which had fallen slightly down.
His hips start to thrust, dragging his dick against your thighs and more noticeably against your folds. “Tech…” you whimper in satisfaction, heart pounding against your chest.
“Just a little more, darling.” The whines, pants and groans that leave his throat are pure filth to the ears, his movement so erratic that you had to hold onto his shoulders to keep you standing as your thighs swallow his throbbing tip entirely. His grip on your waist tightens at every increasing pace.. “J-Just… a little more.”
He fucks your thighs beautifully, tip prodding agaisnt your clit with every movement. You’re pent up. He is definitely pent up as you both dive into another kiss and you quietly beg him for more.
“You can fuck me, Tech… you can have all of me.” You bite against his lower lip, earning a low growl and a harsh thrust in return.
“I’ll fuck you properly, I promise.” His words held, like he said, a promise but you knew he just had to fuck your thighs just a little bit more, you knew he had to feel the softness of your skin he had been admiring for however many days now. “I’ll fuck you so good I just… I just need to cum all over your thighs. Just this once.”
Your sex burns in desire and although you knew you won’t get what you crave, you had to give in to Tech. You had to let him slap his cock on your soft skin, sliding in and out of your squeezed together legs until he was panting and swearing.
Lewd sounds fell from your lips, a sharp gasp as Tech repositioned your legs just a tad so his cock nuzzled against the right spot.
Your eyes fell closed, threatening to roll back into your skull. One hand frees your waist but makes it way into your hair, fingers entwined with the soft tassels and fingernails massaging your scalp. “Such a pretty girl.”
You bury your face in the crook of his neck, your orgasm building with every pressure added to your pussy and judging by Tech’s staggered movements, the shift of his weight on his feet you knew he was close too. “Ah- fuck, I’m going to-.”
His words fall flat as you feel a sudden warmth grow between your legs. A lewd squelching noise followed by his soft whines. “That’s it darling,” his words are slurred as he paints your legs with his seed but he doesn’t pull away. Instead, he holds you close and cradles you in his arms as he feels your body twitch and whispers for you to let it go.
Your hands fly to between your legs, your fingers coating in his cum as you begin to strum your clit with vigour until you were shouting his name aloud, letting it bounce off the walls of the ship as you tremble on his softening cock.
You stumble back, but Tech catches you swiftly, cooing soft words of assurance as stars briefly blur your vision. "I have you, do not fret. You will not fall."
You laugh lazily, a drunk-like smile gracing your lips. "I trust you, don't worry."
His warm smile reassures you, and he announces his intention to return with a flannel to help clean you up—a pleasant surprise. Once cleaned up, he pulls you into his lap as he sits down.
His lips trail down your spine, fingers delicately dragging across the canvas of your back. It's a blank slate, a myriad of possibilities for designs he could plan, but for now, he simply savors the feeling of your beautiful, warm skin. The quiet intimacy envelops the two of you and you look over your shoulder at him to gauge his reaction to what just happened.
"So, that was something," you laugh softly, cuddling into the warmth of his chest. "I never thought I'd see that side of you."
"And I never would have thought you would ever experience that side of me. It's different from how I usually conduct myself, but around you, I felt as though I could be open. Honest."
It's a rare glimpse of Tech being open with his feelings, and you're grateful that even after a moment of intimacy, he doesn't shut you out. There's something unspoken between you both, a desire to explore this newfound feeling for another.
For now, you say nothing, letting him hold you, allowing his mind to drift away from battle plans, ship repairs, and survival. It’s the least you could do.
Taglist Form - if you want to be added or removed (please note I’ll remove you if you’re not interacting with my work 🤍)
More Tech Works
Masterlist
My Ko-Fi
Tags: @andyoufollowyourheart @littlefeatherr @kaitou2417 @eyecandyeoz @captxin-rex @jesseeka @ashotofspotchka @theroguesully @ladykatakuri @jambolska-grozdova @arctrooper69 @padawancat97 @staycalmandhugaclone @ko-neko-san @echos-girlfriend @fiveshelmet @dangraccoon n @plushymiku-blog @chrissywakingup @pb-jellybeans @nunanuggets @sleepycreativewriter @erellenora @zippingstars87 @ezras-left-thumb @tech-aficionado @grizabellasolo @therealnekomari @tech-depression-inventory @brynhildrmimi @greaser-wolf @tinyreadersmur @seriowan @kaminocasey @marvel-starwars-nerd @ladytano420 @ladyzirkonia @raevulsix @mssbridgerton @cw80831 @imalovernotahater @whore4rex @imperialclaw801 @temple-elder @mysticalgalaxysalad @photogirl894
#the bad batch#bad batch tech#bad batch tech x reader#tbb#tech bad batch#tbb tech x reader#tech x reader#nahoney22 writes#I’m a bit late but shhh#tech Tuesday
272 notes
·
View notes
Text
newest member of the seven (5/6)
summary: me, yelling from across the room: JUST FUCK ALREADY!!
warnings: it’s a “The Boys” fanfic… blood, gore, swearing, nudity, etc. Intended for 18+ ONLY, this chapter contains SMUT. ALSO i write for myself and am low key new to writing so lower all expectations. <3
before you read: this story is written in second person, she/her pronouns are used, reader has female genitalia and identifies as female. the character is never referred to by name , but is a supe called “Replicate”, she has power-copying abilities.
Maeve’s room is much nicer than yours, even before you completely destroyed it in an evening of rage. Somehow she makes the cold, sleek tower feel like an actual home. She leads you to the bathroom and grabs some towels. The shower is massive. She turns the handle then tests the water with her hand, seemingly content with the temperature she turns back to you.
You share another sweet kiss before she starts to exit the bathroom, “I’ll be right back, I need to contact Starlight before she does something drastic.” She smiles, “Anything you need me to tell her?”.
“Keep the body.” You say as you pull your t-shirt off over your head.
“Okay…?” she had a puzzled look on her face. Before you fully immerse yourself in the shower, you look back to her.
“Trust the plan, baby!” You snap finger guns at her, then let the warm water soothe your aching body. You cringe to yourself, wondering if the fight has left you with brain damage.
She laughs and shakes her head, she gives you an ‘okay’ and steps out of the bathroom. You catch a glimpse of yourself in the mirror. Yeesh.
-
By the time Maeve comes back you’re mostly clean, just rinsing the conditioner out of your hair. You let out a soft hum as you feel her arms wrap around your waist. You lean back into her, smiling.
“Is she pissed?” you ask.
“When isn’t she?” she responds, working her hands up towards your breasts, “But, I really don’t care about that right now.”
You moan softly, trembling from her touch. She pushes her leg in between yours, it’s slick from the water but you can still feel the muscle pressed against your cunt.
“Holy shit-” you gasp. She squeezes one of your breasts and pinches the nipple of the other. You let out a whine and tilt your head, she attacks the exposed neck with several kisses before biting softly. “M-Maeve..” your hands cling to hers.
“Your lil’ suit doesn’t leave much to the imagination, but this is better than anything i’ve ever dreamed up..” she moans into your ear as she reaches down to your hips, slightly grinding you against her leg.
You let out a staggered breath at the sensation, clutching on to her forearms. Wait. You smirk and turn around to face her.
“You’ve dreamed about this before, huh?” you chide. “How long?” You tilt your head and press up against her front. She doesn’t know how to respond, her flustered face is cute. “I know how long I have, Maeve, but what about you?”. You push your soapy breasts against hers and bat your eyelashes.
“You are evil.” she jokes.
You laugh deeply and lean your head back, she notices the bruise that’s formed on your neck. The red outline of her hand can still be seen. When you look back up at her you notice her frown.
“Maeve, what’s wrong? I was just teasing.” You push the wet stands of hair out of her face. She doesn’t reply, just traces her fingers down the front of your neck. You hold her hand, “Maeve, it’s okay. I’m okay, I swear.”
She holds your gaze for a while, the soft patter of the shower heads fill the air. Her sheepish behavior contrasts her strong, wolf-like form. You walk your fingers up her arm and grin.
“Why don’t you clean up? I’m sure you could think of some way to make it up to me.” you keep your hand on her shoulder. She smirks down at you.
-
You finish drying off, and turn to hang up your towel. Maeve grabs your hand and pulls you towards the bed, you squeal as she pushes you down onto it. You sit up and pull her into another kiss. Your mouth opens slightly and her tongue enters eagerly. Oxygen is an afterthought. She bites your bottom lip and brings her hand down to your clit. She pulls away and stares at you and she starts rubbing small circles.
“Fuck-“ you grip onto the sheets. “Oh my fucking god…” you mewl.
“You’re so sensitive, baby.” she teases in between kisses. Her mouth works its way down your body, leaving a trail of sloppy kisses, stopping right before she reaches the most needy area. She pushes your legs to either side, keeping them spread apart easily. You steady yourself up on your elbows and stare down at her with your mouth agape. Her smirk is still visible as she kisses your inner thigh, holding eye contact with you as she presses her mouth over your clit. You furrow your brows and bite down on your lip as she sucks and swirls her tongue around you. You can’t believe this is really happening, every time you think you’re dreaming she speeds up her pace and you snap back to reality.
She moves her hands from your thighs. One goes between your legs, slowly pumping two of her strong fingers inside of you. The other presses down firmly right below your tummy. You throw your head back and let out a combination of curses and moans. Letting yourself fall back into the mattress, you place your arms over your face and head, you can feel the heat from your cheeks radiating onto them.
“Maeve— I’m gonna-“ you whimper as your thighs gently press together around her head. You feel her smile as she keeps lapping you up. She quickens the pace of her fingers and moves her thumb to your clit, pulling her mouth away. She stands over you, panting, her mouth and chin glisten from her time between your legs.
She pulls her thumb away and pushes your arms off your face. She grabs you by your jaw and makes you look at her.
“C’mon, lemme see your face, pretty girl” she whimpers. Her thumb returns, quickening the pace on your clit. “You gonna cum for me, baby?”
With that, you unravel. Maeve bites her lip and watches you come apart, she whispers a handful of praises before smashing her lips against yours. You send your fingers through her hair, tugging up so you can kiss at her neck. You trail up and nibble her ear, “My turn.” you whisper. You feel her stagger above you. You guide her up to the top of the bed, pressing her back against her pillows. You push her legs apart and move down to her chest, kissing and sucking on her breasts. You feel so content making her feel good, you’re eager to please.
Finally, you work your way down between her legs. You’re trembling, she’s clearly more experienced than you, but you’re desperate to make her feel good. You try to replicate what she did to you, though you’re much sloppier. Her moans encourage you to focus on her clit, as you do, her hands shoot to your hair. She grabs on to your hair, pulling softly and guiding you against her.
“Good girl,” she praises, “Good fucking girl…”
You feel her back arch up, and you stare up at her. Your pupils are blown out as you take her in, she watches your tongue move up and down. Her eyes meet yours, you’re so desperate to please her, she’s all that’s on your mind, you don’t care about anything except making her feel good. Her moans become breathy and she pulls your hair tightly, she curses and you feel her come apart on your tongue. You keep at it, tasting her and feeling her body twitch. You don’t stop up she lifts your head up.
“G-good?” you ask, eyelids heavy.
“Fucking perfect.” she growls, pulling you up towards her.
-
You lay under her sheets together, she holds you firmly against her. Your adrenaline has finally worn off and you start to feel how fucking sore you are. Maeve plays with your hair and you start to relax.
She loves how soft you are. How much you want to do good. Be good. Her goal has always been to keep you safe, when you’re lying with her like this, she finally feels like she can. For a moment, she forgets everything else going on outside. Homelander, The Boys, and all the other bullshit she has to put up with on a daily basis.
Your thoughts, however, are racing with all the ways Homelander is going to mangle you. You shoot up.
“Homelander is so going to kill me this time!” you blurt. You stare at her, wide-eyed.
She sits up, “No he won’t. He won’t find out.”
“Uh, yeah he will! He’s got heightened senses and shit. I’m fucked…” you murmur and look back at her. She’s beautiful, even with her stern expression. “At least I die a happy woman.”
She grabs your shoulders, “He won’t find out.” She pulls you back down to her, “You have your plans and I have mine.” You’re swayed instantly, cuddling right back up next to her.
“Does he… visit your room often?” you ask, tracing your finger along her collarbone.
“No, surprisingly that’s one of the boundaries he actually respects. He always calls me to him.” she sighs. “Stay the night, please. I need you here, and your room is a shit hole.”
“How dare…” you quip, “I wouldn’t want to be anywhere else.”
You spend the rest of the night detailing the plans for tomorrow’s meeting. You fall asleep before her, your head lies on her chest and she’s gone back to playing with your hair. She stares up at the ceiling and weeps quietly. This is the happiest she’s felt in a long while, but she knows this can’t last. She is tied to Homelander. She has to be, for her safety. For yours. She takes in a breath and kisses your head before drifting off to sleep.
>back
>next
#nmots#oc#the boys smut#queen maeve smut#wlw smut#smut#wlw fic#wlw#queen maeve#queen maeve x oc#queen maeve x reader#starlight the boys#the boys fanfic#the boys
80 notes
·
View notes
Note
omg i’m so excited to see your requests are open! could i get hcs of heartsteel sett or aphelios (or both if you want!) and how they’d show their affection toward their s/o? thank you!! 🩵
✿ Prompt: How Heartsteel Aphelios shows affection ✿
♡ champion focus: aphelios ♡ tw: none! ♡ Gender-neutral reader
Author’s Note: Hello! Thank you for sending a request. I chose Aphelios for this one because I thought I could get more ideas from him! I hope I am able to fulfill it to your liking! Enjoy ꒰ᐢ. .ᐢ꒱₊˚⊹
Aphelios tends to keep to himself most of the time, so at the beginning of your relationship, it's vital to anticipate for him to take time to adjust so he can get comfortable with you!
When he does begin to acclimate himself to a relationship, he becomes quite the snuggle bug and prefers to always be the little spoon when you two cuddle.
But overall, Aphelios is the type to show affection through actions over physical interactions! Physical intimacy is difficult for Aphelios to display, so it's easier for him to communicate how much he loves you through what he does for you over touch.
Aphelios is the type to always listen to you and especially adores listening to you talk about your passions!
So long as you're willing to read his excited rambles about his love for the moon and stars (along with the extreme knowledge he has on even the diameter of the moon or when the next lunar eclipse will occur and where), he is more than happy to immerse himself in learning more about your interests!
Even though he can no longer sing, he can still write words to you that mean something. It's just one of the ways he can openly express himself and how much he loves you.
The gifts he gives you are always meaningful, stuff that just makes sense when it comes to him! Items include a moon and star pendant necklace, a pair of matching headphones to his own, and his prized NASA hoodie.
If you're a morning bird, he'll wake up early just to send you a good morning text. Inevitably, he'll go right back to bed after he sends it, but it will give you a reminder of how much he cares!
If you're a night owl like he is, Aphelios gets on Discord calls with you and sits in comfortable silence with you. It may not be much, but if you talk to him, he'll respond with his soundboards and communicate with you through the text-to-speech bot!
Any time he dyes his hair, he makes sure you're there with him so you both can have the same colors in your hair! If there is one thing Aphelios is obsessed with more than creating music, it's matching everything he possibly can with you!
Love songs!! The genius composer will definitely dedicate certain verses in the songs he writes to you. You're his purpose. You're why he always pushes and drives himself forward. You make him a better person and allow him to see his potential, particularly when he feels like he's drowning under the weight of being a star.
Aphelios will teach you sign language! It's one of the many ways he communicates with the world around him! Of course, he may be biased and teach you only the romantic signs, so don't let that stop you from doing your own research so you can communicate with him even more!
It took Aphelios some time to work himself up to this high display of affection: Sharing his mooncakes with you. Even though it is meant to be shared, he'd rather share it with the one person he loves most in the world. Giving you a piece of his mooncake is like giving you a piece of himself in his mind!
#saeybaewrites#request#headcanons#heartsteel#heartsteel aphelios#aphelios#heartsteel aphelios x reader#heartsteel x reader#aphelios lol#x reader#lol x reader#aphelios league of legends#aphelios lol x reader#aphelios league of legends x reader#league of legends x reader
400 notes
·
View notes
Text
I jotted down in my notes yesterday before I had no clue how 164 was going to unfold: I'll just leave this here before things grow any worse in the manga
I'm not sure if I even hate it, like how every chapter's been beyond.. 154? It's like I have to wait and see just what is it supposed to be and mean. But I don't like it of course. At this point the whole plot of onk feels like a fever dream and it ACTUALLY MIGHT BE, considering how the story itself started on a note that "Everything is fiction" or whatever. That truly isn't a good sign. That particular chapter where Aqua and Ruby was having that one peaceful day was super ominous too. Everything might just be their dream or something at this rate, what I want this manga to retain is the message. What they want to express and say through having created this piece. Will that be good? I have no idea how that's going to happen, if they do manage to do a splendid job after all this then, I'll still be able to respect this work but you can't blame me for having no idea. I'm baffled lol.
Okay, I digressed.. Please keep in mind this was written before I encountered 164.
I don’t know if my empathy is kicking in the wrong direction, but every time I listen to *Mephisto* and *Fatal,* I can’t help but feel, "Ah, this fits Kamiki’s story and emotions so perfectly..."
So,
When he’s this tormented, aching to see her again, drowning in sorrow like this—was it really his fault that Ai died? Did he truly bring this upon himself? Will it all just be resolved by catching him and ending his life? Will killing him solve the tragedy in the story? And if that’s the case, why are they so insistent on not showing us his story clearly? And if that’s the conclusion, then what is this work even trying to say? It’s fine if I can accept it. Really, it is, but…
He’s all alone, isn’t he? Why is there no one there to help him? Why, when he’s suffering this much, did no one understand him enough to keep him from getting to this point, just leaving him like that? From childhood to adulthood, apart from Ai, he never had anyone who genuinely helped him—so it makes sense that he became someone who misses her so deeply, unable to see anyone else. I can sense that his true nature was genuinely kind, but even that is unclear...
Why is he so alone? Why has the author pushed him to the point of complete ruin with no one left? If it were me, I’d have a reason to take it that far. This is a story, after all.
It hits me every time I listen; I can feel everything so intensely that it’s almost haunting. But am I really wrong? The lyrics aren't just ordinary; there are hints within them.
It’s just... the story is so sad... It’s crazed on the surface, but inside, it’s about someone so deeply heartbroken after losing someone they truly loved...
"I’d do anything if it meant you’d come back; I don’t care if it kills me. I just miss you so much"—that’s what the song’s about, right? And Kamiki’s story fits that exactly. I wish the manga would at least touch on that. It’s just bothering me too much. That’s the story here, isn’t it? Why is it like this… it’s just so heartbreakingly sad… why make the song this way?
And Aqua—no!!! I’m really annoyed that Aqua gave up on Ai’s wish! Fine, go live happily with Kana. You went through enough, I get it. But really... if I reread it, will I be able to immerse myself in Aqua’s side again? Why is the story like this?
Why are they locked in this cycle of killing each other? Why did it have to turn out like this? I don’t even think he killed Ai. He’s suffering so much after her death—what’s going on...
Isn’t his story worth the page space?
Actually, I feel like I understand what the author is trying to do. I know I’m playing along, even though I can see it all coming—it’s so frustrating to watch it unfold. But can I really trust the author this much...? What do I really know about them? I’d need to understand that to make any real guesses... Though I feel like I know what this is all about. Sure, if it’s going to drag on endlessly, I’d rather it just end quickly. Then I can move on and find something else to read.
But really, I know exactly how everything could all come together, like beads threaded on a string. I get why things are this way. So, if they would just do that, everything would fall into place... there are so many hints and foreshadowing for it. But the absolute constraint of the remaining page count is something I don’t think they’ll overcome, so maybe I should just let go of this story in my heart. Whatever happens, I’ll be fine either way. Even if they don’t get it right, that’s okay too.
Oh, I thought I knew. I think I still do a little? but well.
I'll draw another version of "where everything is happier" but AQUA EDITION this weekend. I can draw it out :) They better make this story make some kind of sense but GOD I hope they don't ruin my favorite characters, I'm scared...no character is safe anymore after seeing what they made out of Aqua. I feel really sorry for saying I was angry about him earlier, did he die because I said that? Did I jinx it or what.?. Oh the writer better have something really good on their mind. Because this is a really loved piece right? They won't be able to do it though if they're going to use these remaining page space this meaninglessly. And it's too short anyway. I really am the type that holds onto hope, I was still hoping till the last chapter but now I just want them to.. Keep from ruining the message any more. I do want to see a point in all this, if that can convince me, I can take it, but I cannot see it happening if the rest of the chapters are as empty as this one. I'm genuinely disappointed. I really wish I could only cheer and hope but I can't believe I'm crossing my fingers FOR THIS instead. I wish they had at least seven or eight chapters, but there is no way. I don't see it getting any sort of fulfilling ending if they're going to devote half those precious chapter space left to Aqua suffering for air, that was PAINFUL to see. I didn't sign up to see THAT, and we still don't know if he's really justified and if his actions were really worth putting himself and everyone else through the potential sufferings, I don't see ANY good coming out of this.
I'll draw something happy for Aqua I haven't drawn him for awhile, I really used to care for him and god while I am pissed at what he's done I'm just...so baffled. I didn't want him to suffer, that's one of the reasons why I was angry with the choices he's made?? Oh he's a fool. I agree with everything Kamiki's said!! Like, the things he told his son was legit kind and words of wisdom!!! He told him he had a life to live???? He-he told him to go live for Ruby because killing him would hurt her? Right?? He was trying to convince his son to go live?? Did I read it wrong? Kamiki knew about the things that his son cared for and smiled when Aqua acknowledged he wanted to live??? Would he be the one to ruin that if he's the one who's provided those reasoning? It doesn't?? Make sense to me. He was being calm and kind even while being threatened with a knife from his own son. So was there really no hope for this man. I swear Kamiki's a corrupted god then and his EXISTENCE cannot be allowed for he'd cause misery just by existing from being TOO broken and way past recovery at this point.
If they ruin him and Ai's character in the following chapters...I have no control over it ofc but.. I'm not sure if I'll be able to comprehend what this comic is even trying to say. If there are gods.. They should take pity on the characters and SAVE them.
Ai, save your husband and son, or Ruby, do it. Why is she Amaterasu. Why was that a thing? If she's that powerful of an entity in essence then maybe she'll be able to turn back time and save everyone hgsggk it's about time she does do something as one of the most powerful god in Japanese Mythology
#hikaru kamiki#oshi no theories#oshi no ko#oshi no ko spoilers#spoilers#gosh this manga is so weird#aqua hoshino#hikaai#crossung my fingers ohh they did so bad for the aqua ships I hope they don't do it for this one too#that chapter was terrible in my opinion#I actually thought it might happen because I speculate worst case scenarios but like.. 1 or 2 percent#that chapter feels like a nightmare(I don't mean it in a bad way.. just like a literal nightmare)and it was too short to have any sort of-#meaningful interaction?? depth?? the potrayals feel so hollow??#oh come on ruby's going to become the second kamiki to bring aqua back if things go this way;; I see her being similar to her dad#aqua means so much to her;; like how ai was to hikaru. I see this happening. why not.
9 notes
·
View notes
Text
ateez as male musical characters (according to me)
A/N: Please remember that this is my opinion, so please be nice. Also I promise that I AM working on Stray Kids as D&D Characters its just taking me a while. Enjoy!
current masterlist | fic recs
Seonghwa: Baron Von Trapp, The Sound of Music
Hear me out - He's poised, organized, clean, and well-put together at all times. However, he secretly does have quite the interesting, fun-loving side. He prefers organization, but is also full of love and creativity that isn't always apparent to everyone. He is strong in his ideals and values, with a soft side for those he loves.
Hongjoong: Orpheus, Hadestown
He is focused and creative, but often times gets too immersed in his work. He gets so immersed to the point where he will forget to care for himself and those around him. However, that doesn't mean he does not love them - in fact, he cares incredibly deeply for those he loves. He will do anything to make sure that they are okay and that they get back on track, even though there may be doubt setting in.
Yunho: Jack Kelly, Newsies
He's a little flirtatious, a little goofy, and also willing to do anything to protect those around him and keep them safe. He really is a leader in his own right even if not many always see it. He really loves pushing people’s buttons if given any space and opportunity, but he also loves pushing for change and making things better for those around him.
Yeosang: Seymour, Little Shop of Horrors
Bless him, he's so quiet and sweet. He really cares deeply for those around him even often at his own expense. He can often be too nice for his own good sometimes but it is so hard to not love him. Yeosang, I feel, makes sure the people around him feel the love at all times, even if his methods are unconventional.
San: Christian, Moulin Rouge
San really loves so deeply with all of his heart. He feels like a hopeless romantic that will love who he does until even after they have gone away, and even more after that. He is a loyal and dedicated lover and friend to those he holds dear. He would also sing instead of talk at all times if given the chance, and would feel heartbreak on an intense level that not many can comprehend.
Mingi: Roger, Rent
He feels so many emotions all the time and uses music as an outlet when words otherwise. He wants to leave a legacy to the world but feels overwhelmed with the pressure to make it perfect. He loves too much and it kind of scares him sometimes. He also tends to doubt his success despite having the people around him giving him support. He is also a certified Rock Star/Emo King™️
Wooyoung: Fiyero, Wicked
We all know he's a little sassy, flirty, and a bit of a shit-stirrer sometimes. But, when he sets his mind to what he cares about, he will do anything and everything possible to achieve his goals. When he loves someone, he loves them with his whole heart and will happily sacrifice himself for them at any cost - a love that is truly hard to ignore and hard to come by.
Jongho: J.D., Heathers
Again, hear me out - He regularly has a lot of things going on in his head, so much that he often can't say. He often takes things into his own hands, which can be a bit intense even to him. He comes off composed and deep, but internally may be a chaotic mess sometimes. He is also spooked by affection from others, and it takes him a while to show his true colors (for Jongho irl, his true colors are beautiful, unlike J.D. who is...not that - that's a difference).
#ateez#ateez imagines#ateez drabbles#ateez headcanons#my musings#seonghwa#hongjoong#yunho#yeosang#san#choi san#mingi#wooyoung#jongho
29 notes
·
View notes
Text
Feeling overwhelmed, stressed or anxious?
It can be hard to focus on the heart of the matter when you're overwhelmed. The last thing you want to do is put more pressure on yourself.
So here's a simple pick-a-pile spread to give you some guidance on what you can do currently. Let's work on getting away from the negative energies first. Later on you're in a better headspace, you can properly figure out the root cause.
Pick a pile you're drawn to, and hit 'keep reading' for the reveal and interpretations. Take what resonates and leave the rest!
Feel free to share this spread with your friends if it’s has helped you! I am also currently available to do personalised readings! (If you’re looking for a specific spread that’s not listed, you can drop me a message and we can work something out!)
Pile 1
Instead of getting swept away by all the "what-if"s and possibilities of your choices, pull the focus back onto yourself in the moment. Keep in mind that it's the action you make "now" that will lead you into the "future". So only one of the "futures" you're seeing in your mind's eye will come to fruition by taking an action from where you are, and it's in the "now". Dig deep within to find what you stand for, what you believe in, Then choose the option that's most in alignment with your higher self. Be sure that the decision you make is one you stand for, and one where you're able to accept the consequences for (should things go south).
Travelling can be one way that'll help relax yourself. It can be domestic or international — anywhere that allows you to expand your horizons and explore the unknown. If travelling isn't an option, a day trip to where there are open bodies of water (the beach, a lakeside, etc) is also a good option. Alternatively, simply immersing yourself in new activities you've never done before but are interested in works too! Inspiration comes in different ways, so jumping into a new experience with no expectations can show you new things about the world and even yourself.
As negativity has a heavier vibration, the mind will always gravitate towards its if left to its own devices. So you'll have to consciously choose to see the full picture as is, as objectively as you can. Then, when you're done feeling the feels of the situation, you'll have to pull yourself together. Look at the situation fully and shift your perspective — you'll find that there's always a positive part, no matter how meagre it is. From there, focus on what you can do from this point on, because that's how you'll be able to move forward and make things better.
Pile 2
You're someone who's intelligent and highly self-aware, but there are times where the external world gets the better of you. In those moments, retreat to your quiet place and put everything down for a bit. Breathe and allow yourself to return as you are, without picking up any of the things you've released a few seconds ago. Recall what you originally set out to do and the plans you've made. Did you veer off-course while taking a detour? Or did you get distracted along the way? It's time to return to your plans and the intentions you've had for this journey with a refreshed mind.
A way that'll help you relax is being in the small moments of happiness in everyday life. It can be walking past a street lined with flowers on your way to the station, hanging out with your friends, or simply ordering your favourite food to pair with your favourite show in the evening. These little moments not only charge you up but also gives you the space to simply enjoy life as is.
Another thing to take note of is that "pauses" are also part of the equation when it comes to progress. When you feel like your work is "losing steam", don't force yourself to push forward or be productive. Think of it as a pitstop for refuelling and restocking on a road trip — these stops are usually fun and relaxing, right? You don't think those stops are a halt in the road trip, or that something bad is happening that's why you've stopped your car, right? Similarly, the "pauses" in your journey can also be considered an opportunity to reassess, re-evaluate or rest up, thus allowing you to realign or embrace a new idea coming up. So don't worry too much when you feel your journey "slowing down". Productivity has many faces too.
Pile 3
Know that change is one of the constants in life, and it brings along growth in the process of shaking things up. It can be uncomfortable at times, so instead of panicking and resisting it, trust that what's coming after the dust settles is for your own good. By familiarising yourself with change in this manner, you'll grow stronger and develop more resilience, thereby allowing you to tide through storms in a more calm and rational mindset.
A spontaneous trip or vacation is one way that you can relax. It can be domestic or international, as long as it's spontaneous. On the other hand, on your off day, you could do as you wish rather than having a schedule. Go with the flow and see where your activities take you. Allow life to surprise you as you take your hands off the steering wheel for the day.
Remember that there's no need to go through life alone. Reach out to your friends and support circle when you need them. Talk with them, bounce ideas off them, lean on them. It may not be your style to ask for help, but the people who see, hear and understand you will be able to support and care for you in ways that are meaningful to you. This will, in turn, help alleviate some of your worries and take some burdens off your back.
Which pile did you pick, and did it resonate with you? Let me know!
∘₊✧ Home page ˖ Reviews ˖ Tip Jar: Ko-fi and Stripe ∘₊✧ Custom readings: my Ko-fi page and my site ∘₊✧ Bi-monthly yappin' on Substack ∘₊✧ Pick a pile spreads on Tumblr ∘₊✧ Instagram ˖ Twitter ˖ Bluesky
#tarot#tarotblr#tarot reading#tarotcommunity#tarot pick a pile#pick a pile tarot#pick a pile reading#foxesandtarot#pick a pile with foxesandtarot#monsoon tarot deck
10 notes
·
View notes
Text
June 13, 2024
I.. don't think I'm as well-adjusted to grad school as I'd hoped. I feel behind but I'm not even sure how to "catch up" or what specifically I am not doing. I just want to do more but I feel intimidated by what "more" might be. My days are mostly empty outside of a single lab-based task that might take one to three hours. Admittedly, I did procrastinate myself out of that bioinformatics "course". I do intend to start that back up again. I do want to learn (I was intimidated by the homework (only recently did I realize that I literally do not actually have to do the homework if I don't want to lol, this is all asynchronous and semi-recreational for my own benefit)). I think that's a major part of why I feel like I could be doing more. My postdoc is working like 12 hour days or something while I come in and lounge for four hours or so (I've recently been making an effort to do six hours though, even if it's just me sitting and reading (fiction >.<) for most of the time (I'll start an anthropology book after this series I promise)).
I have started learning music theory though. Only barely, it feels like, but it's more than any true theory I'd absorbed through the years of band classes and orchestra rehearsals (I know what a "diminished sixth" means now (kinda) and can point it out in sheet music (most of the time)! I can differentiate between three different minor scales (most of the time)!). I plan to leisurely make my way through a semester's worth of lectures on it. I want a good understanding of why music works so I can hopefully get good at improvisation (also I need to relinquish the idea that I'm going to be some improv master at first try--because that's not going to happen. it'll likely take weeks of trials and lots of errors before I get any sort of feel for what sounds "decent").
I've been reading Jade City by Fonda Lee and woah. I think this would make an excellent television show. It's soooo good. Fantasy action, my genre beloved (and politics?? bro im in LOVE), but inspired by a totally different culture than what I typically read. The naming switcharoo took a bit of getting used to sure but it's far more immersive that way. I would love to see this in live action and thirst after Hilo bc you know the casting director would do him right. I'm glad I decided to stick with her on a whim.
I wish the pollen wasn't still so bad (I have to keep my windows open all the time bc no ac, and pollen flies in 24/7 and coats absolutely everything which is the worsttttt. thankfully my bed doesn't get too much of it but UGH), I'd love to spend more time outside. The flowers are lovely but I'm ready for the trees to pack it upppp.
My mom thinks I'm being too social for me to handle. I haven't had a full weekend to just isolate and chill in a month. There's just so much to do, though! I want to do it all now that the weather is warm. This area has lots of events all the time. I have to remember that I have five more years, I guess.
Today I'm thankful that at least I'm not being pushed too hard.
Brought to you from inside the lab (my postdoc has stepped out hehe) where I am desperately trying to find things to do. I think I'm going to register for some trainings or something.
7 notes
·
View notes
Text
Love in your blade - chapter 1 the new job
Once you are born a disgrace, you always will be a disgrace. That always been very clear to me. Not even the biggests of the efforts could make me ever be worthy, not even magic itself did…still, I need something for my unneeded survival… even if I am not valuable enough for the mere act of being alive, it is in my unholy nature to beg to live.
I've woken up early, and looked at the ceiling, that was almost falling, falling together with my hope, i've stared at it silently, for at least 10 minutes straight
“Why am I even alive…Is just to remind me of how useless I am? Or do I actually am deserving of anything…” Until i reminded myself, that spending so much time immerse in my own thoughts is a privilege i will never have, I quickly dress up, on my New uniform for my new job, it is way fancier then my other clothes, I was terrified of having to pay for these, i couldn't afford it, even if I save money for 2 years straight, i was relieved at receiving not only the clothes, but free food as well, it's rare for the royalty to show any kindness
I went walking towards the almighty castle, leaving the house 30 minutes before my shift, the long road didn't gave me the luck of eating breakfast before going to work.
Until I was there…“Wow…this is…stunning…! I've never seen something as shiny as that…”
“Could you stop admiring the castle and come to work?” Someone tall yell at me, probably my superior, i just nodded and enter, following them, my job was cleaning that giant building…daily…I can already feel the back pain, but i'm not in the place to wine about it
The hours went quickly as i sweep the place and its most varied corners, making sure each place is clean, i was just hoping i wouldn't get fired in my first day, no one gave me instructions about the place, i've found myself lost many times, why did it need to be so big…is it to make sure we are aware of how inferior we are to them?
It was almost night, and i was on the last floor…finally, the place sure was fancy, the paintings were marvelous, just like if each detail had been discussed and had hard thought about its meaning when suddenly i just felt myself falling down to the stairs, my eyes widen as i felt no control to my body, i already accepted defeat, or i would have a severe injury, or i would broke something i couldn't pay even if i sell my lungs, or, in the best hypothesis, I would die and finally rest for a bit…until i felt my hand being touched, and i wasn't falling anymore
The person holding my sweaty and dirty hands were using fancy clothings, and a crown, my eyes widen at knowing it was the king himself…i was just hoping that if he was going to kill me, that he left me fall, and not take my head out…the king stared at me for a couple of seconds till he says:
“Your eyes are pretty unique, you know?”
I was totally surprised at that comment…that surely wasn't what i expected
“Are they contact lens?”
I've created courage to answer the fancy looking man
“No…its a long story, to summarize…magic”
the man quickly push me back to the ground, as we get closer i take one step back and look at him, sweating a little
“I don't see how someone like you could ever get involved with magic, thought…”
“It didn't make much result with it …your majesty? Im sorry but i'm not aware if you're…like…the king or something?”
“I am, i thought it was Basic knowledge to a citizen of this kingdom"
“When you have almost anything to survive, your priority has nothing to do with the king and his fancy life…”
Crap, I said this out loud…! My head is gone for good…He stared at me and smirked at himself;
“You're very brave to say that to me, peasant.”
Maybe i was being to kind to myself, not only my head is gone…i can already be seen as dead…its the end
“I appreciate that, no one ever talked like that to me, brave idiot”
“Hm…you're welcome? I guess…” i said relieved, at least i will keep my head in place for a little longer
“And about your situation, i will take care of it, you can spend your days here while you work here, you don't need to pay for nothing, is this already a great help?”
My eyes shined, my heart beating faster, as i open my mouth in disbelief, my eyes widen, as i stare at the king himself, offering a room for me to stay, why…? Did I hit the jackpot or something? I couldn't allow myself to question it, its too good to be true…but im fine with beautiful lies, i've seen hope for the first time, i could only say one thing for him, show him how much grateful I was.
"Thank you…thank you so much, your majesty!”
"don't thank me, by the way, i'm assuming you don't know my name, if you had a hard time figuring my position in the kingdom”
“yeah…i really don't know” i said with a shy smile, embarassed
“Fuyuhiko kuzuryuu, and you, who are you, mister commoner?”
“Hajime…hajime hinata.”
“See you again soon, hajime hinata” He left quickly, down to the stairs, and reminded myself i had work to do, i've cleaned the last floor, with a new income about the situation
Maybe everything will be fine after all…
10 notes
·
View notes
Note
Hello。◕‿◕。
I have had an idea in my head for a long time. But it is large, so I wanted to ask a few things.
How do you juggle all the characters? Do you write the setting first, and then create a backstory for each character? What is the most convenient way to prescribe all this? And how not to be afraid that no one needs my idea, and I'm wasting my time on unnecessary things? If my goal is to create my own fanfic and get feedback.
I like the idea that my story will end and people will still be writing reviews 5 years from now. How do you feel when you receive feedback? When did you decide it was time to write your first story and see it through?
large world building projects are so much fun, it always feels like snuggling into a comfort blanket or sweater you can really immerse yourself in, at least for me it does.
Juggling a lot of characters can be a struggle since I'm personally a world driven type of author as opposed to the character driven and plot driven types of authors you might run across. What I mean by that is for me the world usually appears first in my mind and I have to build it out before I know exactly who lives in it or what's happening. I think the most convenient way to prescribe all the steps you want to take starts with knowing who you are as a writer and what your personal style is cause we're all made a little different. I got to know myself better as a write after reading The Curiosities, a collection of short stories by three different authors who all are a different type or have a different approach to writing. (I loved their notes to each other reviewing their stories and its a great read.) Knowing what works for you is what's most vital, and a lot of trial and error shouldn't be feared in order to better understand yourself. You'll never waste time trying to grow and improve yourself, even if you don't achieve the fame or money in the end.
For me, when I come up with a story idea, I am usually provoked by some other media I see and feel the urge to make something more suited to my tastes. I read about vampires or werewolves and wanna do my own spin on an urban high school for monsters, I get a fraction of information about some obscure mobile video game and want to run with it in a new direction that gives it lore and meaning beyond the pretty visuals. What do you enjoy reading or playing or watching? Chances are those are topics you might enjoy creating with. For me writing is like 'play' and I enjoy playing with some things more than others as my tastes change and mature with time. On the more technical side of things, in order to build a functioning story I try to make sure I have a problem in my story and I try to ensure my protagonists are characters with needs or desires that push them along through the narrative. These can change depending on the setting they're in.
When I first started writing I was like 12/13 and I just wanted to write for the fun of it and didn't know what I was doing when I posted my first fic online. I appreciated the validation of others who read my work and commented/reviewed, and I think later on that motivated me to switch up my style and try new things for the thrill of it. (No regrets, 10/10 would do again.) You asked about "how not to be afraid that no one needs my idea, and I'm wasting my time on unnecessary things?" Believe me when I say people need stories. I'm not sure about a lot of things in life but I know stories have existed as long as people have lived and there's a reason for that. We need stories as a species. Maybe you do create a story that gets 0 comments or only a few likes and clicks. It happens to most of us when we start out. We think we're making crap and never realize our fields need that fertilizer for a better harvest in the future. You'll make some bad poems and stories and mess up plays or scripts in your life and that's good as long as you don't let it stop you. Keep trying and figure out what works for you. Keep digging until you strike gold. Your brain and your soul deserve the nourishment creating gives them. Make art any way you want and don't look back.
It's fucking amazing to know someone loved what I wrote, even 5-10+ years later. It's humbling and haunting at the same time. I'll never stop being in awe of how great it is to know someone, somewhere in the world of endless possibilities, found some joy in my story. I'm forever in awe of how cool that is. But the older I get the more I realize this writing thing I do, this expression of creativity I gravitate towards, is a gift unto me for my own sake. I need to create stories. I want to live a little in these dream worlds of mine before the daylight burns it all way and makes me go back to work. Writing is a means of self preservation at this point, even though it's a lot of hard work I still mess up on. I find so much joy in the ideas I try to flesh out, so I hope you can discover for yourself the unique joy of creating too. Don't let fear hold you back. Write your story.
8 notes
·
View notes
Text
Hey all,
I’ve had some comments and questions recently about No Other Shade of Blue but You and where I’ve been/how I am. I am actively still working on NOSoBbY - this work will never be abandoned. Many of you know I’ve been battling health issues and one in particular has been causing problems. I’ve sat with it for a long while and I am a firm believer that darkness, even personal, dies in the light, so it’s time to just share.
At the end of last year, after going numb on my entire body multiple times and experiencing cognitive issues, I underwent a brain MRI and my doctor was incredibly concerned when it came back abnormal. The scan showed that my brain “looks like that of an 80 year old” according to my doctor. I’m 42, so that’s incredibly alarming. What that meant was the white matter demyelination in my brain was incredibly, alarmingly high. She isn’t aware if it’s a direct result of COVID, MS, or early onset cognitive decline of some kind.
Regardless, it’s there.
I was referred to neurology and scheduled to have an appointment in October of 2024. Exactly one year from the MRI date. I can’t begin to discuss the disgusting, debilitating feeling of knowing something is seriously wrong, my doctor being incredibly worried, but neurology saying, “Sorry, we’re that backed up” because of COVID.
Since then, I have had increasing cognitive issues with losing words and thoughts, as well as difficulty remembering things I’ve just taken part in. It’s scary to say the least, but through it all, I continue to do what I have always done. I now do cognitive workouts of sorts to help, take vitamins, and try to get plenty of sunshine when I can. I’m already working with my energy healer and medicinal plants.
All of this to say that I’m still here - I promise. I’m still trying to write NOSoBbY actively but some days it’s harder than others. Sometimes simply because I am saddened by the fact that this brick wall is seemingly inscalable.
But, through it all, I keep looking for ways around it. I’ve been actively recording scenes on my phone as I think of them, so I can listen to those and write them. I have a good portion of the next chapter finished and I’m excited to see reactions to it, but I’ve got to push off the resistance that my own brain is going through.
I had a lovely conversation with a reader this week and it touched my heart so much that I decided to stop feeling sorry for myself and keep on going. So, today and this weekend I am attempting to finish that chapter.
I will ask that you please bear with me and my writing style as it may have changed a bit. I’m not sure. I actively do go back and reread so I can immerse myself back into the world that I love very much to ensure I catch everything I’ve already planted. I hope you enjoy it and I hope you keep on keeping on through the things in your lives that are trying to stop you.
Know that I’m here for each and every one of you and that your comments, check-ins, and messages mean everything to this determined woman. We all have to be there for each other. That’s something in fandom that I know is irreplaceable and unable to be found in many other places. So, that said, let’s all don our climbing gear together to scale our brick walls. I’ve got you if you need help with yours.
Much ❤️ to all of you,
Swanqueengranger
4 notes
·
View notes
Text
it’s time for my top 36 as of march. keep in mind that this year is super strong (rivalling my beloved 2016 in terms of song quality) and my top 10 has 16 songs in it. they also change placements depending on my mood
1. norway - i got chills the first time i’ve listened to this song and i get them every singe time i push play on it. pure art, so atmospheric, magical, the mixture of rock and folk with gunnhild’s godly vocals and amazing lyrics IN NORWEGIAN i am just beyond in love with this song IT WAS MADE FOR MY TASTE
2. estonia - it was the first song i listened to form the eesti laul line up and i just knew nothing was gonna beat it for me. it’s just so fun, with funny lyrics and a great folk-ish instrumental. crazy party of this year for me
3. the netherlands- gabber core on my esc?????? no way i lived to see this day. i am absolutely in love with this song- the music the visuals and the touching story of this song - instant hit. europapa has infected my brain permanently. joost was right 12 points to the netherlands
4. slovenia - this just so powerful, i love the siren core aesthetic and sound of this song. raivens voice is hypnotising like of a siren, you can’t help but get immersed in it
5. switzerland - it took a while to fully kick in but i absolutely love it now. the genre mix was a little bit confusing at first but now i’m just amazed at this combination of dnb opera pop alternative and rap - and the fact that it actually works together
6. belgium - they’re back to their dark pop era and IM GLAD. the outro had me on my knees, it’ll be so big during the live
7. lithuania - the 20s are lithuanias golden age, they are finally not afraid of sending their own language and they’re doing it with class. luktelk is a banger we deserved, modern, addicting. i hope for a top 10 for lithuania
8. italy - E LA CUMBIA DELLA NOIA💃💃 a true mediterranean banger, with amazing lyrics an overall full package, angelina is super charismatic, she’s a breath of fresh air for italy for sure
9. portugal - it wasn’t even my winner of fdc but i just fell in love with this after seeing that performance. it’s so elegant, calm, the lyrics are truly moving, everything in both the song and the fdc performance is so well thought out. some people will say it’s just another portuguese ballad but i think it stands out with its grace amongst the others
10. greece - it’s pop but an experimental one, mixing reggaeton maybe some hyperpop elements even? zari is greek to its core and while being very ethnic it’s also innovative and fresh. i constantly find myself humming this song. i can see it doing really well or finishing in bottom 5 - everything depends on the staging. but i love it i hope greece won’t be afraid to continue this more experimental route
11. ireland - my alternative heart is so happy to see a song and a performer like this on esc. you either live doomsday blue or hate it - i loved it form the first listen. it’s dark alluring enigmatic angry - an experience overall
12. spain - ever since it won benidorm my brain just randomly goes ZORRA‼️ ZORRA ‼️ZORRA ‼️in the middle of the day. it’s not even a guilty pleasure it’s just pure pleasure. i love how unapologetic this song is, the message of it, pure fun and celebration
13. ukraine - i absolutely love it as i do with almost every ukrainian entry although i have to admit it grew off me a little bit. it’s still a contender for the win in may and i wouldn’t be mad tbh. it’s a well made, powerful entry, ukraine always delivers
14. croatia - same like with the previous one it grew off me a little bit but it’s still a banger. this is croatia’s best shot at getting a top10 result and i wish them all the best. it’s pure fun and craziness
15. serbia - this year lacks ballads sm, so serbia (and portugal) have the chance to stand out bringing a cool down in between the chaos. ramonda is calm and reflective and so beautiful evoking all the right emotions. it feels very intimate even on a huge stage. i love meaning of the lyrics
16. sweden - is it a basic pop song? yes? did it also brought me to my knees with this beat and the staging? also yes. like i’m the biggest sweden hater but omg i just can’t help but bang to this song. it’s addicting. the norwegian twins have a pass from me
17. san marino - the funniest thing of this nf season. this not as good as arcadia but it’s still megara with their original style and a great vibe. if san marino fails to qualify with this then idk really.
18. armenia - ITS SO CUTE. it puts a smile on my face fr. ethnic banger through and through kind reminds me of trenuletul in a way (also there’s this polish party song “prawy do lewego” and idk if it’s just me but they have such similar vibes, i would absolutely go drunk dancing to “jako”)
19. denmark - idk i think i just have to have this one very basic song that i like for some reason. this year it’s sand. it’s really pleasing for some reason. nothing special as i said but i like it
20. georgia - your token ethnic girl pop. and that’s exactly it, it is a good song in this particular genre. and for this exact reason i can’t rank it higher. it’s good enough for me to put it here. still i am hoping for a q firm grorgia like let’s be real they deserve it more than anyone (with latvia ofc)
21. finland - camp. just camp. some people say that you either love or hate it but really i think it’s just fine. it doesn’t throw me off with its weirdness but it doesn’t excite me in any way. it’s just a weird little song in the middle of my ranking. but we’ll see if europe thinks it’s too much or exactly what we need. i can see it nqing
22. latvia - it was their best shot at q (although i still kinda mourn “kur?” it was such a nice song) but idk if they’ll manage to do that. it’s a strong powerful entry, but it can get a little lost in this years mix. dons is an amazing vocalis and if we had juries in the semis i know they would appreciate this song but with current system i’m not so sure
23. france - another ok song. i don’t really like the yelling ballad type but i have to admit this is well made. i’m still hoping for the revamp
24. poland - we had better options but this is also fine. an ok pop song, that’s it
25. australia - it’s extremely dated, it gives 2016. but it kinda started growing on me???? i love the usage of the aboriginal instruments and language it’s something original and i’m here for that.
26. moldova - again it’s fine it’s ok. but it doesn’t stand out much. moldova didn’t have better options (expept tudor bumbac) but it’s a let down compared to previous years
27. uk - i had such high hopes looking at the names involved in this song but ultimately it’s a let down. i’d does nothing for me. it’s well made once again but it leaves with zero emotions. comes and goes. kinda sad that they brought such a big name and yet failed to bring an engaging song
28. austria - this is so cringy. girlie is telling me that we will rave and then pulls out the most 2002 eurodance drop known to humankind?????? i mean it’s a swedish reject and it shows. in a way it is fun but more because it’s funny. idk i don’t hate it i just have a beef with it
29. azerbaijan - i’m very happy to hear the azeri language finally debut on esc. but the song is fine at best and bland at worst.
30. czechia - i know there will be a revamp but i’m judging the current version. this saddens and a lot. aiko has so much potential and this song fails to showcase it. it’s very american pop rock esque but kinda on a budget. i wanted to se aiko on esc but not like this :((
31. malta - a few revamps too many. nothing special really, average girl pop.
32. germany - this sounds like a last place i’m sorry😭😭 they’re asking for to atp. the guy is a good vocalist but this song is stuck in 2014
33. cyprus - this is just lazy. when will the cypriot hod learn that by doing the same thing over and over again they won’t replicate their 2018 succès. that was a one time thing and buying more songs form sweden and giving them to people with vague connections to the county won’t do them any good.
34. albania - they just sabotaged themselves with this revamp. it wasn’t a particularly good song before but the english language killed any originality it had left
35. luxembourg - this is just really unfortunate. coming back after 30 years with not even a swedish reject but singing dug up from a swedish dumpster? kinda sad for them but that’s what you get for rejecting your artists ogriginal songs in favour for shwdish bought ones
36. iceland - what i a travel agency advertisement is this? it’s not even about bashar loosing, this song is just bad. the only one this year i can use that word for. luxembourg and albania are whatever but this is just unlistenable for me. hera bjork is an icon already she didn’t need a comeback especially not this one.
thank you for reading for anyone who managed to get this far. i still have many things to say about some songs and nf performances that happened while i was inactive on here. and maybe rant about the STUPID system changes that they want to implement. but i still won’t be watching esc this year. and i won’t be active on here during the esc week (exams) so i just wanted to say that this could’ve been the best esc year ever, with amazing songs visuals hosts etc. but ebu decided to use all that to promote a genocide. so instead of uniting in genocide i hope that the amazing artist of 2024 will unite in humanity and raise their voice against the atrocities that ebu decided to ignore for the sake of money
6 notes
·
View notes
Text
01.01.2024 - Monday January 1st 2024
ٱلسَّلَامُ عَلَيْكُمْ Today marks the start of a new year. Whatever that truly means ( complete revolution around the sun as far as I know ). I wanted to make a post here in the "A Vague Notion" public blog rather than do another "daily txt session." I'm not about to make some hard and fast resolutions. However, I do feel like this year really is going to be defined as a year of major transition. As in rather than looking at 2024 to be a year where major milestones or goals are reached it's more of a preparation for 2025 and 2026. Things on my mind include: - more systematic study of the Quran and Arabic - dealing with the end of this court situation and solidifying my medication mixture - exercise. point blank period. walking, running, biking, weight lifting. Anything and everything. Just fucking do it. - Work inshallah. Like finding a job that I really can just chill and groove with, ya'know? And if it turns out that I really truly can't handle a job then pushing the disability application process to it's end. - minimizing my consumption of music... Yea. For the record: the start of December 2023 was when I began considering giving up listening to and creating music. I had a good few days but I couldn't keep it up. It somehow managed to come back up closer towards the middle and end of the month. So we could almost say that December was a false start. I'm not saying this is going to be easy or perfect. However, there is something very compelling about the idea of a life with more silence. When I listen to music now - for instance last night my mom and I were at Disney Springs and there were various performance stages - I can't help but get this feeling that there really is truth to it being haram. It seems like this kind of mesmerizing vain and futile thing. clapping and banging and endless repetition....
I could just be trying to justify the position. Whatever it all comes down to I am certain that this is line of inquiry is not going to close any time soon. I have been immersed in music most of my life and I also have pretty deep experience creating it. Whatever Allah wills will be. And there is a kind of covenant or prayer between me and Allah that he knows best regarding my involvement with music. All I can say for sure is I am trying to reduce the amount I consume. That is about as definitive a statement as I can say. I also want a bike.
3 notes
·
View notes
Text
Now looking at Venti’s personality will not ever feel the same.
Speaking of which, if you say that Venti’s current personality is exaggerated, or perhaps based off of the bard’s, this begs the question, “What was Venti’s personality like in the past before he ascended to godhood?”
Has his personality took a drastic change after the bard’s death? Just like the Tsaritsa after the Cataclysm?
Or did Venti fully incorporated the bard into himself, other than physical appearance?
Think about it. Venti had shed his own blood, sweat and tears to fully honor his friend and pass on his legacy (for fucking twice a millennia and 600 years or more, and God knows how long it took since we aren’t fully sure what Venti’s exact age was. Only the fact that he is the second eldest of the Archons and that he was alive by the time of the Archon war, so he would be older than that time.) for countless millennia.
Like dude did SO MUCH HARD WORK to really preserve his friends memory and we can see it in everything he does. From metaphors of the winds, writing poetry, singing songs, raising an enslaved nation from the depths of turmoil, and so, so much more.
If he really did incorporate the bard in himself, we have no choice but to immerse ourselves how it’s like to be Venti.
I keep thinking wether this was a subconscious or unconscious process in his character.
It started as a reason to honor his friend’s legacy or was taking on his friend’s form become a way to preserve the bard by doing everything to protect Mondstadt and fulfill his friend’s dream.
But then, slowly, the trauma of his friend’s death and the burden he shouldered engulfed him, to the point of becoming close to erosion. Considering how long he lived, could the erosion had pushed him to near-experience of almost feeling like he is loosing memory of the bard?
As you’ve said earlier about Venti “scrambling for traits he remembers”, erosion would, of course, come with psychological consequences. Fear, anxiety, panic, rage, and so much soul-crushing emotions. It’d make no sense to say that these emotions were not something Venti experienced with his time as a god.
So imagine all the anxiety, fear, and panic of loosing sight of his friend’s memory, and potentially the dream he always strived for, pushed him to hyperfixate and obsess over what little memory he has of him.
And everything the bard had done, he fully included it onto himself.
He was no longer restricted to appearance, but in his personality.
And it makes sense that years and years of beings so used to trying to embody what his friend has always been made him nearly loose sight of his own identity.
Going back, it could be a subconscious or unconscious process in his character.
Subconscious:
Venti had an immense fear of forgetting his friend, thus clinging on to whatever memory he had of him. It began from the start on taking on his form, so maybe, just maybe, these thoughts manifested into his behavior? Or perhaps, into thoughts of anxiety?
I can’t stress this enough, but imagine how long these thoughts haunted him.
What if he had gotten his face wrong? Was his voice identical to his enough? Was his hair the way it really was when he died? Were his hands the right shape? Was his eye color really green? Or no- wait! Blue?
Until it evolved into something more.
Did he really use to laugh like this? What was his smile like? How was he like when he was happy? Sad? Angry? Could his courage ever match with mine? What would he say in this situation? How would he act? Would he ever do such a thing?
Am I really like him?
I propose that Venti wanted to make himself like him, so in the eyes of the Mondtadters, they would associate Venti and his deeds with the one who had liberated Old Mondstadt.
But oh, the memory loss.
But the ever so cheerful Venti will never talk about these. He’d just hide it in the back of his mind… trying to forget it, of course.
Unconscious:
It was a slow, built-up instinct that Venti alluded for centuries. He couldn’t forget him. No, he would never be forgotten. He will make sure of that.
But his duties and responsibilities called for him. He had no time to think, not right now. Pushing these thoughts in the back of his mind, he kept treading on his painful journey of godhood.
It wasn’t until years down the line, he began reflecting on his own interactions with people, did he realize just where did he started acting this way? He looked on how he felt so… different from his old self. His elemental form.
Taking a glance on a reflection of himself, was the only way he realized.
And he knew the answer.
oh fuck….
spoilers for venti’s backstory… but i just had a really sad thought
Keep reading
#venti#genshin impact#old Mondstadt#nameless bard genshin#venti headcannons#so you see the difference here?#on one hand subconscious makes him partly aware of it#the thoughts came in flooding beforehand#but unconscious was a slow and painful realization that he had ignored for millennia#until it was too late
320 notes
·
View notes
Text
Week 6
This week, I continue working on the iterations and refining process. As I worked on different iterations, the uncanny state started to appear more and the technical aspects made more sense. Yet, there is still a lot of refining before it forms a complete version.
I have changed the glimpse (video installation) project to the BPD project as this new project also does video projection and aligns with my interest in theatre works.
Project 1 - uncanny (Capitol Theatre):
Reflection:
Maintaining the engagement or the attention threshold of the audience is one of the priorities of this project. A structured narrative may interact with the audience better and encourage greater engagement. In my project, I think I can keep the audience's tension by using an open-and-close (open up and collapse) narrative structure.
While trying the articulation between the light and human voice (light following the envelope of the voice), I found that as the soundtrack goes on, the uncanny state starts to lose its effect because the audience is beginning to be familiar with it. The feedback that I got for this is to flip the technique, meaning using the voice to 'push back' the light (instead of the light turn on to the envelope of the voice, make the light turn off to the voice).
Research:
Spatial immersion versus emotional immersion, which is more immersive?
Spatial immersion is an antecedent process immediately followed by emotional immersion, i.e. people firstly feel “bodily presence” into the scene, and then are emotionally empathized and cognitively identified with character. And this identification process further reinforces the feeling of transportation. This also suggests that emotional immersion is a higher level immersion above spatial immersion, i.e. being spatially immersed does not necessarily mean one is emotionally immersed, yet emotional immersion is always on the premise of spatial immersion. In other words, identification always incorporates elaborated transportation. (Zhang, Perkis and Arndt, 2017)
Emotional immersion induces the identification process of the audience, which makes the audience empathize with the story, and further reinforces the feeling of transportation (spatial immersion).
For spatial content, realism and fidelity factors are one of the most important quality metrics for the evaluation of spatial immersion. (Zhang, Hoel, Perkis and Zadtootaghaj 2018).
The human brain is familiar with interpreting cues (visual and audio) from our surroundings to make sense of the situations. Realistic elements with slight fidelity factors create a sense of spatial immersion, which could familiarize the audience with the environment or question their sense of place.
Project progress:
I have tried to map out the light to follow the envelope of the human voice and it worked well in evoking a sense of unease. However, after some time they became quite boring as the audience became familiarized with them.
I also tried out the subversion of that technique, which is to make the light turn off to the voice (the light stays on when there's no sound). It worked as it created a sense of confusion, which I think could also be an element of surprise within the audience.
For the soundtrack, I added some more reverb to give a sense of open-up and collapse, especially during the solo instrument (the wind rumble part).
As this week I haven't been able to test out the lighting color in the Capitol, I am still not sure if the color combination works. For the next step, I will try out different color pairs to test in the Capitol and also start exploring more with the roof light.
Project 2 - BPD project (Video Projection)
Reflection:
The meeting with Jonno and the given visual provocations have cleared out the direction for my visual development. I realized my initial understanding and interpretation of the show was too negative or too positive, while the show's idea is the neutral aspect of surviving the condition.
The video prototype that I showed was leaning toward the surreal state, which I think should be avoided in this project. The feedback that I got for this is the visual could be less mysterious and maybe more toward the realism to induce empathy.
Research:
Dumb Type
youtube
As I wasn't very familiar with contemporary performance, I researched shows that incorporated both projection mapping (visual projection on screens) and movements to convey meaning. This play used abstract and strobing visuals to evoke a sense of urgency and I think adding overwhelming pace to the narrative. The example gave me a bit of understanding of how to develop the visual for the projection mapping.
Project progress:
After being given more materials, I started to explore the development process of the project to understand my further direction.
I have tried to draft out some ideation regarding the visual provocations, and then begin to build up or narrow down to a clearer concept.
My ideation for now from the point ‘switch goes on/off’ and ‘shatters everything’, I think we could map the shards (maybe project some real-life footage on it) to slowly fade in and out at different places on the stage.
Hopefully, in the next meeting (on Tuesday), I could show some iterations for that idea and see how it will evolve.
Project 3: Upside Down People:
Reflection:
The project, as of now, I think is still a little vague as we still haven't met the production team, and also the fact that this week the Capitol wasn't available so I couldn't try out the lighting color and movements.
Project Progress:
This week, I'm continuing to work on the opening sequence of the performance and creating more iterations of different color palettes to see how it goes.
For the next step, I think I will continue to refine the lighting according to the next session in the Capitol and start to build up the lighting for the next scenes.
0 notes