#but i am insane about what ive got about them <33< /div>
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pulchrasilva · 5 months ago
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Bestieeeee
I wanna know ab your ocs, give them up
Noooooo you can't have them theyre mine >:( /silly
Anyway have some fun facts about the gods:
The moon god's gender changes along with the cycle of the moon
The sun goddess' body produces a lot of heat (for obvious reasons). Sun burns are a sign of high status because it means you were invited into her personal space. Also darker skinned people are ones whose family has been very high status for a very long time, because they've live closer to the palace and so in a much hotter climate. Basically social power is all about how close you are to the sun goddess
The only exception is that magic users/priests have higher status than everyone, despite the temples usually being on the furthest edges of the kingdom, because their connection to the sun goddess is more profound than mere physical proximity. They have specific attire to demonstrate that status
The sun and moon gods are simultaneously toxic yuri and foundational fratricide, because they were like. "Married" but also theyre the two gods who existed at the dawn of time or whatever so they basically "grew up" with each other. Pseudo incest win!
The history that people are taught is that the moon god created the kingdom and humanity but needed to put their soul into humanity to bring them to life, so they basically died and the sun goddess took over ruling the kingdom to honour them
Im still working out the details of what really happened but it involves the sun putting the moon into a magic coma so that she could have total power over their kingdom
Where the kingdom meets the ocean, near the Palace of the sun goddess, are the Salt Wastes. These are a stretch of land where the tide washes in, but the heat from the sun goddess rapidly evaporates the water, leaving behind thick layers of salt and making the land toxic for vegetation. Because the tides are associated with the moon, this is symbolic of the push and pull for power between the two gods, and the devastation they leave in their wake
Theres gonna be some sort of climax where the sun and moon goddess have to fight. Or something. Idk but what I do know is that there'll be a solar eclipse when it happens
The sun goddess is kind of a cruel ruler so there's gonna be some kind of resistance once the moon wakes up, which is looking to usurp the sun and give the moon control of the kingdom. But like. While the moon is more benevolent than the sun, they're still ultimately a god and therefore divorced from human life and they have a lot of power to abuse, deliberately or not. The idea is to set them up as the perfect ruler to take over, and then to slowly reveal that this is far from the case
This is reflected in their relationships with the leading priestess, Sidera (my favourite character my babygirl my anguished lesbian). As a priestess of the sun goddess, she has a secret fucked up toxic devotion relationship with the sun goddess, which. Remember how people end up with sun burn in her presence? Yeah so Sidera gets very badly burned when they have sex, and the sun goddess often removes the burns immediately after just for extra mind fuckery. Sometimes Sidera's unsure whether they were even there in the first place. But Sidera eventually finds and wakes the moon goddess, and gets to know them in secret, and learns that she can have a better relationship with a god than what she and the sun goddess have. That's what shakes her loyalty and causes her to switch sides to help the revolution, becoming the first priestess of the moon instead
BUT thanks to the shitty relationships they both had with the sun, Sidera has ended up with an extreme need to devote herself to someone entirely (if you think that sounds similar to another character of mine shhhhh) and the moon has ended up with control issues so they kinda make each other worse, culminating with Sidera sacrificing herself to the moon in order to give them the power to defeat the sun. So like. The moon is better to Sidera than the sun was, but still not good
Also on that note, ultimately the story will show that neither the sun or the moon are good enough rulers, you need a secret third option: earth, as in humans. But Sidera's name was taken from the Latin for "stars", so she's always been associated with celestial bodies and although she's instrumental to defeating the sun she was never destined to live in the human-led world that results from it. She's too deep in the habit of worship for that
Also I'm considering whether I want there to be multiple nations, each with their own gods and maybe even their own magic systems but idk how to like. Handle that in the story lol. But it's inspired by misunderstanding an episode of jrwi apotheosis and briefly thinking there were loads of different pantheons each tied to different countries
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audioroleplayconfessions · 2 months ago
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i dont want to reveal my identity (youll see why in a sec lol) so im saying this here rather than my main account cause im relatively well known in redacted tumblr (annnd im a pussy and this is sort of weighing on me a bit).
i dont know how to say it but there are these chats?? like mainly on discord and instagram and i think some other places too (idk i dont have twitter or x or whatever but i think theres one there too) where people have lists of these accounts they dont like and resolve to 'punish them'. im sure im explaining this terribly but i cant really say much without the people in these chats instantly knowing who i am and adding me to their insane hate pile puritan police bullshit.
i got added to one of the discord chats in august by a mutual from a redacted server i was in (not the main one like some fan one from tumblr) and genuinely? it is fucking insane. think genuine csi shit. like sorting people into who supports 'problematic ships' and 'supports problematic characters' or who are 'rape apologists' or even just 'icky' and genuinely allocating certain people to harass and threaten them. and i mean seriously organising. as in scheduling when to spam anons or making hate posts or trying to work out their real identities to 'drill the lesson in' (actual quote).
whats worse is that many bigger accounts in the fandom are in these chats. like people ive been friendly with for months (if not years) who i thought were cool, but then act completely different there. i wont name drop or anything, mainly to respect the rules of this blog and preserve my own identity (cause god knows they dont deserve that after some of the shit theyve said and done), but if youre in redacted tumblr, you defintely know at least some of them. 100% you do.
ive gone out of my way to warn some of these accounts ive seen on there frequently (so if you got an anon warning you about these chats hello!! its me!!) but i cannot understate how fucking crazy they are. not only do these supposed 'progressive accepting people' resort to misogyny, transphobia, homophobia and racism (esp this one, jesus the slurs) towards any account they dont like, they also genuinely view themselves as these insane moral authorities set on 'cleansing the fandom of the filth' (another actual quote from one of the discord chats. i genuinely had to take a lap after reading it bc it was so cringe and insane it physically hurt)
i swear im telling the truth with this btw, i know it sounds so stupid and unbelievable but i just needed to get it out of my system because ive been lurking in this chat and i feel kinda responsible for all the hate these poor people are getting, since im not standing up against them. so to anyone whos received heavy hate for 'problematic opinions' im really fucking sorry man. i shoulda tried to put a stop to it but there were so many big accounts there i was afraid of getting ostracised from the community or targeted myself.
anyway, point is. be careful. watch ur faves. and god, everyone in this moral brigade stop being so fucking demented. youre making this unfun for everyone.
(thank you for giving a space for me to speak about this btw bc i genuinely dont know how i wouldve told people widescale otherwise. i really appreciate the space you provide for us all <33 )
.
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tomeebear04 · 5 months ago
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alot of people portray tord as some insane sociopath who doesn’t care about anyone and its particularly heightened in wtfuture content,that being said i personally dont mind these headcanons when i was younger i was totally in favor of tord being a villain but whats your opinion on it? From what ive seen red leader is especially abusive to future tom but i always thought the cast was pretty mean to eachother in the earlier eddisodes but just grew out of it,tord left before the rest of them stopped being so mean to eachother,now its more or less poking fun and annoying eachother here and there
do you think tord just didn’t get the memo and thought it was still okay to act like this? Im all for ‘edgier’ headcanons and story telling but i just personally think to an extent tord isn’t as much as an asshole as people try to make him out to be,at some point the cast have tried to kill eachother and tom literally did what he did in zanta claws (which i forgive him for <33) but i see alot more people give tord more flack than anyone,srry ab the long winded question but i am curious ab your answer ^^
this is a multi-part question so im going to number them to make it more readable lol. also dw about long asks; i like em. lover having conversations about the show with other people
the tord villain question. ah the thing that divides the eddsworld fandom to this day. my opinion on this is a little nuanced. i personally like that direction for his character. i think it's interesting. it recontextualizes a lot of his strange behaviors from earlier episodes. fan interpretation of the actual content of the end episodes have led to a lot of people hating that idea though. i can see why too. i'm not a fan on how people decided to portray tord afterwards. i don't think he was a nice or pleasant person from day one, but i definitely don't think he's a sociopath or psychopath or insane. well not any more insane than everyone else. there's a lot more going on with tord psychologically. he has shown to care about people to an extent. i definitely think he has some kind of personality disorder. i've seen fans discuss schizoid personality disorder and borderline personality disorder in regards to a diagnosis for tord. i don't know enough on the subject to comment either way. imo a good tord wouldn't lose any of the fun aspects of his personality to fit better into any given villain trope. trying to fit square peg in a circle hole, ya know?
tom abuse. this one im a hard no on. i dont know why this got so popular. tord and tom are rivals. making tord an abuser and tom his victim just seems wrong for their dynamic. a lot of that content is fetish driven...and well.. im not touching that topic with a 10 ft shit and piss covered pole. if you're gonna make tord terrible to tom, you have to make tom just as terrible back. they both get under each others skin. i prefer the idea that tord and tom are more friendly in wtfuture since edd is out of the picture. i mean tord has to like him enough to employ him. tom likes him enough to be able to borrow a time machine without much trouble. those are two emotional unstable buddies right there
everyone kinda sucks. this is just straight up true. everyone was out for blood early on in eddsworld. i mean just look at matt. that guy was straight up a menace. yeah the show changed a lot. the tone and the way characters treat each other softened. the tomee bear has a pretty good video on this. i don't disagree with much of what he says. it added a new way to view the end episodes which i greatly appreciate. i could see this being the direction they go for tord in canon
everyone elses crimes. when it comes to talking about the other characters crimes i'd say dont take it seriously if the show doesnt. tom's christmas demolition wasnt taken seriously at all as an act of domestic terrorism. it's a joke about tom's character taken to the extreme for comedy. most things they do are consequence-less. basically, only take it seriously when the show does. tord blowing up the house, killing jon, and betraying everyone was tonally a lot different from tom rapping about hating christmas and nuking bongland. that's the reason why people hate on tord for what he did a bit more. personally i hate tord for being an annoying gooner with confusing politics. but u know to each their own
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wisecrackingeric-2 · 1 year ago
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hi eric its me ian
do you like pokémon because i’ve heard you like pokémon and i. i really. really like it too. please. i’ve been a fan since i was little and have played at least one game out of each generation please can we talk. i. ough. i need to know your faves regions pokémon characters the like
@eggo-tistical HELLO HELLO HELLO IM SOSOSOSOSOSO SORRY ITS TAKEN ME S O LONG TO ANSWER THIS IVE BEEN BISY ALL DAY BUT I AM CURRENTLY RUNNING AROUND IN CIRCLES VIBRATING OVER THIS ASK OH MY G O D POKÉMON IS MY SPECIAL INTEREST I LOVE IT SM (I’ll keep all of this under the cut just so I don’t clog up peoples dashboards BDBSBSBSBSH)
OKOKOKOKOK so first things first the region/generation IIIIIIIII was introduced into was Gen 6 aka Kalos (yes I am young HAHSWBWHEH) and oh my G O D I have. SOOOOOOOOOOO MUCH NOSTALGIA FOR THAT GEN. I replay X&Y AAAAALLL THE TIME just cuz I love those games S O DAMN MUCH?????? Like the design of the region is so pretty and the Pokémon designed are so unique and the music is so,,,,,, mwuah perfect. Nuzlocke comics also got really big around that time so that’s how I was introduced into Nuzlocking and HOOOOOOOOOO BOYO BOY
I AM A M A S S I V E NUZLOCKER. I LOVE NUZLOCKES SM. THEYRE MY FAVOURITE THINGS EVER if I’m not writing an essay over Luis you can GUARENTEE I’ll be doing a Nuzlocke. I got into them cuz I ADORED the storytelling aspect and all the creative comics but I’ve stuck around cuz I just LOVE the problem solving/mathematics part of them?????? I love all the insane strategies and statistics runners come up with and I can easily just watch multi-hour Nuzlocke runs for days on end
But going back on track kinda but also on the subject of Nuzlockes my absolute FAAAAAAVORITE region/generation is EASILY Gen 4 and Platinum. In 2020 I started my first ever Nuzlocke of Platinum and tk say that singular playthrough impacted my life in a way I can’t even describe would be a MASSIVE understatement. I played it through some REEEEEEEALLY TOUGH TIMES and it was such a consistent constant for me I still go back to that save file and just. Walk around with my Pokémon. And reminisce. It was also just my first ever Pokémon game EVER (if you don’t count Pokémon GO BDBSBSHSH) so I hold it very near and dear to my heart <<<33
My starter was Turtwig and I called him Boba Fett and now Boba Fett the Torterra has stuck with me through every single game I’ve played- I’ve transferred him all the way up to Scarlet & Violet and I love him SO much he unironically means the world to me. Torterras my favourite Pokémon ever I have SO many plushies of it n stuff <<<<<333 if I can find a photo of Boba Fett the Torterra I’ll post it
I also R E A L L Y love gen 5. Like all the designs of the Pokémon are SO COOL and Unova is such a fun region to go through and the STORY?? THE S T O R Y ???????????? I really love how they were kinda aiming for an,,,, older audience with it????? Unova just goes so hard
But I think if I had to nail down my number one favourite Pokémon game EVER right alongside Platinum it would be Legends Arceus. LIKE?????? THE STORY???????????? THE ENVIORMENT????????????? THE MECHANICS??? THE ART STYLE??????? ALL THE LITTLE BACKGROUND NOISES????????? OFS SUCH A GOOD GAME I think right alongside like. Resident evil 4 it’s probably my favourite game of all time it’s so stunning I replay it ALL THE TIME
I’m also semi into shiny hunting!!!!!! I’ve only ever really done it on scarlet and Violet but my favourite shiny hunt I’ve ever done was for shiny Mabostiff aka my other favourite Pokémon alongside Torterra <33 ut was right after my dog had passed away and he looked EXACTLY like Mabostiff except he was golden so I went out of my way to shiny hunt one in his memory <<<<<<33
I also really love competitive Pokémon!!!!!!!!!!! Have I ever actually PLAYED competitively??? No but I can tell you everything there is to know about it!!!!!!!
Uhhhhhhhhhhh what else uhhh,,,,,,, Torterra and Mabostiff are obviously my favourite Pokémon but I have plenty of other faves too. Like Flabebe, Sylveon, Hisuian Decidueye cuz it looks like my irl pet chickens, Meganium, Wingull, Jirachi, Delphox uhhhhhhhhh there’s probably more but my brain is soupy soup BXBSBBSBSJS
But uhhhhhhhh I think that’s it!!!!!!!! Someday I would LOVE to make a long-running Nuzlocke comic based off of my first ever Nuzlocke with Boba Fett the Torterra, and as long as the 3ds doesn’t completely shut down next year I’m planning on doing a Nuzlocke of the OG Red & Blue Games And HOOOOOOOPEFULLY Making lil mini Comics to go along with it if all goes to plan!!!!!!!!!! :DDD
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grenadineghost · 24 days ago
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HI JUNI!!! gimme 1 and multiples of 11!!
Locals (Girls like us) by underscores ft gabby start
I am in no way surprised this made it to number 1. im fucking obsessed with this song i listened to it multiple times per day for months its so catchy and energetic and passionate and transfeminine and i love it. also btw this is the song playing during the transformation scene at the party in chew toy. GIRLS LIKE US ARE ROTTEN TO THE CORE!! this song makes me want to bite someone. btw fun fact underscores went to my high school
11. Drunk Voicemail by Pom Pom Squad
hey, you're the one who introduced me to this album!! i returned to this album regularly all year, it inspired a lot of writing and emotions. this song is really fucking good for those heavy late night feelings. it's a CRUCIAL chew toy song and a WWNGJAD song and the rest of the album was super influential for cul-de-sacrilege.
22. Edging in Heaven by Juicebumps
this is a SUPER WEIRD song by a small indie band ive actually gotten to see live! juicebumps has weird vibes and an insane website and its just. what a song. idk how to describe it. it's on the apple pie playlist for being a weird horny song about heaven and perfection. for a horny song it is NOT horny in the way you'd expect, it's horny in a weird unpolished sweaty uncomfortable way i love it.
33. LA Hallucinations by Carly Rae Jepsen
there's not much to say about this one other than it being a total fucking jam! emotion is a top tier album and this is one of my fav albums. i play it a lot while playing magic (i have a weird insistence that CRJ music has fairy tale vibes so espc when playing w eldraine decks?) but this song is higher up than the rest bc its a Velerium song and i got super obsessed with burning woods for a couple weeks this year.
44. IN MY MOUTH by Black Dresses
again this is just a fucking banger! i dont have specific memories associated with this song from this year its just good!! its on the chew toy playlist so that helps but like genuinely its just severely fucks. i love harsh noises i love scary synths i love trans women i love biting
55. No More Like That by Eifuawn
i listened to this a lot while writing my story mycorrhizal/the store will be closing shortly! i dont have too much to say abt it, idrk the lyrics well, it just has this vibe to it of weariness and yearning and its really beautiful
66. Lean Into Life by Petey
oh. okay. so i have a history with this song. i first heard it the night i had to say goodbye to my then-friend group, including my now-girlfriends, and this song's powerful yearning melancholic but also a little hopeful? energy made me go crazy insane. the idea of leaning into life at a time when i felt like i was just starting to become my own person with this beautiful life. anyways that friend group exploded horribly but i still have my girlfriends and this song makes me think of them <3
77. Rich Bitch Juice (Laura Les Remix) by Alice Longyu Gao
we're entering the part of the playlist where its really just songs i like. this one is just a jam! it's an amaranth song, so i guess i listened to it in preparation for the couple of dnd sessions i had this year?
88. B.F.F. by Destroy Boys
I had a big destroy boys phase this year, espc closer to the start of the year, when i was writing chew toy and cul-de-sacrilege. i was feeling grungy and angsty and destroy boys was such a vibe. bff isn't my fav song lol by them lol but its still a fucking jam
99. Hollywood Baby by 100 gecs
another amaranth debonair song! it's interesting, i don't remember the start of the year as well, so a bunch of these songs i don't fully remember listening to that much. i guess i played amy more at the start of the year than i realized? i also played her playlist in the car with my dad a lot though lol
tysm for asking i love talking about music so much :3
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canarydarity · 7 months ago
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6. Are there any fics from others you reread all the time? :D
oh absolutely [ask game]
I am a dedicated re-reader. Thank you for this I am turning this into a tiny fic rec post.
Let's Ditch the Dance Floor by whatcaniwriteinthis (i cant tell you how many times I've reread this fic I love it so much it is so perfect to me)
Where The World Begins by waveridden (Ive known about this fics existence for literally 3 weeks and I have already read it 3 times. immediate top 5 fave rancher fics of all time)
Closer To Another Shore by remrose (closer to another shore scar means. the ENTIRE world to me. my favorite scar of all time ive read this fic at least 3 times)
Something Blue by Teagica (literally reread this one at work this past weekend)
Those Were Kinder Times by SurrealSupernaturalist (what rancher fan HASNT read this fic multiple times)
Everywhere, Everything by Birrdie (i reread this one but hwen i do its like a call for help. /lhj thank you birrdie youre absolutely fantastic birride)
Wherefore Art Thou Scar? by zipzapzoooooom (i reread this fic whenever i need to jumpstart my heart again. it drives me INSANE. PHYSICALLY UNWELL /POS)
there are definitely more than this but these are what i've got on hand rn,,,, and I know the prompt said others but i also...reread my own fics very often LOL. how could i not its like the author wrote it EXACTLY to my taste...crazy how that happens.
and i know this is my mcyt account, but it feels dishonest to answer this question without including all the other fics I reread constantly even if theyre from other fandoms. so I'm including them under the cut. because i MEANT IT when i said im a DEDICATED rereader.
Cigarette Daydreams by Passive_phantom (i am...quite literally Known™️ for being obsessed with this fic on multiple other social media platforms aadjfgh. I could analyze it for hours and HAVE. this is also a cry for help reread <33 'Andrew knows that all of the odds are against him--that he'll start smoking again, that he'll lose Neil, that he'll decide none of this was worth fighting for when he gets back to Columbia, but heres the thing: 93 days isn't that long.')
I'll Stay Inside (with you) by ghosttamer and queersardonicrat (this fic is literally my two faves from a differnet fandom meeting on a mc server and having an online long distance relationship it is 10,000 times too real and ive read it sooooo many times haha haha....)
Where the Wild Things Are by justadreamfox (one of the best soulmate au fics ive ever read ever. Ive read it at least 3 times. i could talk forever about the way this plot was set up.)
Quicksand by likearecord (lol. if not cigarrette daydreams this is The Other fic i am Widely Associated with. god. quicksand andrew the love of my got damn life. i literally reread the first two chapters of this fic out loud to birrdie like 4 days ago.)
theres sooo many more I. used to run a fic rec account for the fandom I was in before this one so. my whole THIGN was knowing the names and authors of like over a thousand fics and reciting them upon request <3 trust me when I say I reread OFTEN and INTENTLY.
ANYWAY. thank you for asking askdfs I love rereading and i love gushing about the fics that are special to me.
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littlegreenplumbob · 11 months ago
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People you'd like to get to know better - tag!
i got tagged in a tag by @calicosimgirl 😁😁 which is insane to me bc i consider myself just a little tumblr stalker who occasionally posts piccys of my sims. tysm💚 this is my first tag as im extremely new to actually frequently using tumblr so idk how to do these things so i really hope im right with how i do this
Last song you listened to:
safety pin by 5sos. i am obsessed with those guys<33 ive seen them live in concert once and i cant wait to do it again:)
also! blissful ignorance by foxhaunt. im seeing them at a gig in manchester next month after seeing them around on tiktok and this song? it just perfectly scratches my brain in all the right ways
Favourite colour(s):
green!!!! my irl nickname is littlegreengirl, i have green hair and the majority of my clothes are green. i just think its funky. i also wear a lot of black so i guess that too
Currently watching:
superstore! cant believe i never watched it before. and also the new disney+ percy jackson. i also love bad education, b99 and futurama. i am a chronic watch-till-youre-sick-of-it so anything ive seen before that i can just whack on and know its funny.
Last movie you watched:
percy jackson sea of monsters. ive been rereading the books and reigniting my passion, what can i say (even though i have thallasophobia weirdly)
Sweet/spicy/savoury:
savoury. bc i dont think there is anything better than gherkins 🤩🤩
Last thing you googled:
i think it was ‘average amount of teeth’ bc i was on facetime with my best friend and we fell into a rabbit hole of how many teeth people have. if youre wondering, i have 24 (and that is the least amount of teeth out of everyone ive asked???)
Currently working on:
i havent played my nsb save in a while since im back home from uni atm. i go bsck on sunday so im sure i will be back into sim mode the second i step foot on mancunian ground. ive been really interested in posting lookbooks as well, as soon as i figure out how to take ok quality photos and sort out my cc. but if youre talking physically working, im at work on my break rn and i have been slaying at making those big macs.
i fear i have exposed a lot of myself to some people who do not need to know this much about me. but i guess thats the point!!!! i think tags are very fun and if anyone wants to tag me in future ones, hell yea! lets see what other weird things i can google inbetween now and then
im not sure who else to tag as i mainly only follow cc creators haha - pls dont feel any pressure to respond or anything but id like to make friends on here:)
@mooneonthings @simfestation @fayethegray
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rrxnjun · 2 years ago
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ok. i was gonna reply to ur comment but it got a bit too long of a rant HAHAHHA sorry😭
but girl i will never stop raving about ur fics istg like something about the way you write and your characters always seem to hit home for me like i always seem to connect with your characters. you make their emotions and the scenarios they're in so vivid and raw and IBFIWRFO i eat it up😭😭😭
i never used to like reading angst but you execute it so well that i'll literally love it when you do it (e.g. fics like two people, when nobody's watching, potential) IDK MAN it physically hurts my heart I FEEL THE EMOTIONS OF THE CHARACTERS MAN IDK
when nobody's watching: when the reader's looking at renjun thru the years from her perspective when the reader wants to reach out, I WANT TO REACH OUT LIKESJFGOWRG WHEN RENJUN SMASHES THE BOTTLE AT THE PARTY YK????
two people: the way you describe jeno and y/n's suffocating one way relationship, I UNDERSTAND THE READER!!! jeno is perfect, he tries to fix the relationship but IT JUST DOESNT WORK THAT WAY the relationship was way over before he tried to fix it and ITS SO REAL!!!! the inner turmoil the reader went thru and the slow changing feels for mark WAS JUST- UGH *chefs kiss
potential: man. where do i even start with this fic. it's a storyline that i never knew i needed to read in my life. like bar u don't understand, potential had me in despair for the next 4 days. i can understand chenle's pain, y/n's confusion, their complicated love for each other. i don't think words can describe how special this story is to me.
this.... became a lot longer than i anticipated and IM SORRY FOR RAMBLING ON ABOUT THE SAME THREE FICS OVER AND OVER OSBFOWRGO but seriously tho, i genuinely love everything you put out, keep up the hard work💗
(i think this is the longest ask i've ever sent lol)
i treat writing as my therapy session so maybe thats why the characters are always so raw- NO but omg this is such an honor bc i really focus more on the characters than the plot i think and i really try to develop them really well and stuff and i focus a lot on the feelings and emotions so >:((( i am so happy that you like that about my writing !!!
the paradox is that i HATE reading angst. like if its in a long fic where its mixed up i dont mind and i think its important to have angstier parts in a long fic too but if its a drabble and its angsty i just won't read it LMAOOO
when nobody's watching was such a spontaneous fic istg i wrote it in what. two days? at uni LMAO. i got the idea when i was like,, watching this guy from afar and then i realised i ALWAYS DO THIS like i always have those silly crushes on ppl and never tell them bc im scared but i care so deeply for ppl that dont even know i exist 😭😭😭 but also i find that i used to change myself a lot to fit into social circles and even tho uni was really lonely for me at first that i kinda let go of that the same way renjun did so it was definitely cathartic to write :,)
honestly to this day idk how i even managed to write two people. like i think its the only fic i have thats about adult mature ppl LMAO all my other fics are like college aus and shit. like where did all of that pain and angst even come from ???? but i am so glad u liked it, i didnt expect ppl to enjoy that kind of fic >:((
DONT EVEN GET ME STARTED ON POTENTIAL why are my best fics always the most spontaneous. its literally like in my top 5 fav fics ive ever written so i am insanely happy that you like it sm !!! <33 chenle's character in this fic is insanely personal to me also :,) the readers and his dynamic is also one of my favs ive ever written,, idk idk theres just something about this fic...
i am really honored to recieve this in my inbox its so sweet of you and i definitely appreciate it a LOT hope you dont mind me rambling about the fics i just enjoy talking about my writing :,)
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appreciatingtokrev · 2 years ago
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OKAY SO during the like week or so while you were gone i got really really REALLY fucking deep into my emo punk bands/bandom hyperfixation and oh my god someone please save me
you don't really have to hear too much abt it if youre uninterested atm since ive infodumped abt this to nearly all my irls who'd listen but if u do thatz cool to :) but yeah uh my bandom hyperfixation got/is getting so bad to the point im referencing real events/theories in my band au fic 😭? esp cuz the two ppl surrounding it are in bands that i headcanon on the tokyorev dudes so yeah it worked way too fucking perfect and im here for it!
but lil spoiler its abt a lot of unrequited izakaku<3333 if you remember that one sanzu x mucho breakup fic i wrote before i kinda hinted the arrival of izana coming back into mucho's life so thatz where the angst comes from. its ur good ol 'i'd die for you but i don't really think you know how serious i am about it' dynamic (again, projecting)
but yes. going into the bandom rabbit hole unexpectedly and never being able to look back has been one of the best and the worst things to happen to me /affectionate. like my sleep schedule is at an all time low my grades arent getting any better and my bf is already having problems of his own with HIS boyfriend (who is also sadly my ex. fucked up i know) BUT. staying up all not consuming media and content from these lil fandoms make that lil whole in my heart rn full for just a few hours so- it means a lot to me yk <3
ANYWAYS i love my emo boys pls ask me abt my emo boys. (u dont have to btw im just insane abt them)
oh oh i am definitely listening!! this feels kinda embarassing to say tbh i know like. zero things abt music most of the time i’m just not interested in more than like three songs from a specific artist/band so yeah never hyperfixated or anything. which means taku dear i have no clue what i should even ask you 😭😭 but but but i am listening, feel free to infodump!! i love absorbing new information <3
also. unrequited izakaku :((( <33
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bonesandthebees · 2 years ago
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I know ive already talked about a dusty tomb but like BRO i need to talk about it again but this time more emotional bc like snfnfmdmsbmfsoehfkfkb [combusts]
It is my comfort fic
Like out of allll the fics i have saved as my comfort fic, it's honestly the most? Efficient? If that makes sense
I click my speeddial button, scroll to the end of the fic (or when sbi first meet, depends on my mood) and then BAM, instant serotonin
Often the fics i love for comfort are hurt comfort, which makes reading them when Im sad a risky move, and i end up making myself more sad than not 😭
And ofc, i have pure fluff fics too, but they never hit as hard as your writing does, i dunno
Also literally it's so quick too, i just read like 2 sentences and im like "damn okay, got my sandduo fix for the day. I am happ now"
A dusty tomb is so simple, yet so effective, and it's just honestly really cute without being super cheesy and aaaa i love it sm and tysm for writing it cause it's honestly like one of the things that helps me the most rn whenever im sad, besides yknow, healthy coping mechanisms LMAOO, dont worry i gen do those too, but sometimes u just need a quick read before bed. Which yeahhh the amount of times ive read it to help me sleep... it's not even that old of a fic 😭
Wait.
IT'S FROM FEBRUARY?@,#?$(@;$($(*#
.
I thought it came out in may WTF
What...
Okayyy, existential crisis about time aside, it's a good fic. A really good fic. Genuinely one of my fav fics ever (tho i feel like i wanna reread the clinic prequel ngl... that was my go to comfort fic before a dusty tomb came around. I havent read that one in awhile). I just love fantasy aus so much, more than any other au, and goshhh it has all the best tropes in it and and and and *dies*
I dont think I'll ever get bored of this fic, considering it's been out for 4 months, and it still feels fresh to me
Goddd, dust!sandduo u guys live rent free in my mind, twinsduo and emduo too. I love them all so much :( honestly that techno is sooo <33 can he give me a hug pls, i feel like he'd be a good hugger
Anyways im off to sleep now or well maybe reread the clinic prequel fic ehehehehe god i love that fic so much (u have no idea how many times ive reread that... too many times... it actually makes me Insane)
aaa this is so sweet!! tbh I loved writing dusty tomb so much. it was so out of the blue and unplanned, but it was so sweet and i had a ton of fun with the world itself too
I'm so glad it's your comfort fic. I have those fics too where I just open them up and go to a specific part to reread just to get all those fuzzy feelings whenever I need a pick me up. It makes me so happy to know my fic is that for you.
one of these days I'll write another one shot in that universe.... maybe... probably not tbh but the idea is there
(also i love dust!techno too he's so fun)
(and the clinic prequel aaaa underrated personal fav of mine)
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slavicprincess1966 · 2 years ago
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15 questions for 15 moots!!!!! <3
tysm for the tag kate @theshoutpolicyoftruth <<<33
1: are you named after anyone? nope!! my mom just really really liked the name ashley. she told me she actually really would have liked to name me jessica but her sister beat her to it while she had her kids first lol!!!
2. when was the last time you cried? i could be wrong, but as best as i can remember, probably at my last confession, which was june 2.
3. do you have kids? BRUH IM 16 WHAT DO YOU EXPECT lol but when i do hopefully come along an amazing husband i would like to possibly have 1 kid! for a boy, i’d name him cristian. idk any cool girl names yet lolz.
4. do you use sarcasm a lot? it depends on the person and how silly i get
5. what sports do you play/have played? man i have gone at it my entire life!!! id consider dance a sport; i do polish folklore/trad dance right now and have been doing it for the past 5 years! started with ballet as a little girlie, then gymnastics, swimming, soccer, & ice skating, and after all i found that dance is my thing
6. what's the first thing you notice about people? totally how one presents oneself, and how similar i am to them. if you’re devout catholic or polish then i’d automatically think “YOURE SO COOLLLL”
7. what's your eye color? brown but i become edward cullen when the sun hits them just right
8. scary movies or happy endings? happy ending movieeeessss
9. any special talents? my art ofc! my mom also tells me that from what she sees, i am pretty advanced in english. i also pick up newly assigned guitar pieces quickly <3
10. where were you born? the gta (canada)
11. what are your hobbies? art, dance, daydreaming (about dave <3 ), singing when no ones around (with the exception of my mom, ive got an insane morrissey impression and she can confirm haha) and collecting cds, missionary work, and leadership at my catholic girls youth group
12. do you have pets? doggie!!!!!
13. how tall are you? i think i am like 5’7 now
14. favourite subject in school? visual arts & religion! (can i consider friday morning Mass as a subject too?!? yes its the sacrifice of the Mass but its also a time where i can listen and learn more especially during the liturgy of the word)
15. dream job? working in the law of child advocacy or perhaps even doing something on behalf of the crown attorney! i also wanna keep art as my side job and make pieces in my free time. when i grow up if it does happen i think my biggest and most valuable and rewarding job would be being a mom, though. it seems so faith deepening in a way to me! i would really love to cultivate a lifestyle where i can balance both work and homemaking. <3
this was so fun to do!!!! okay so basically my blog is actually pretty small and i dont think i even happen to have like near 15 mutuals but it is ok. in fact i share moots with the lovely that tagged me and u beat me to tagging most of them haha!! but whoever wants some silly little fun questions can totally copy paste this and share their answrs!!!!! i love learning about everyone here so if u find this on ur dash go ahead <3 God bless
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randomwriteronline · 2 years ago
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21:19.  Emmet there is a catholic procession outside my house
21:21. what.
21:22. They have the big eggshell pieces and everything i shit you not
21:22. This has never happened before
21:24. what is a catholic.
21:24. WHAT DO YOU MEAN WHAT IS A CATHOLIC
21:25. i don’t know?
21:25. THE CULT
21:25. never heard before.
21:26. Youve never heard of the fucking???????????
21:26. Egg boy???????????
21:26. Guy who hatched from an egg????????????
21:26. Laid by arceus?????????????
21:27. In a lady?????????
21:30. what the hell.
21:30. YOUVE NEVER HEARD OF THAT?????????
21:31. no!
21:32. Kyurem on crack this is insane
21:32. They have a megaphone and everything
21:32. Ive got my hearing aids on im so baffled dear dragons. the guy was singing up until now theyve all got a bunch of candles in hand
21:33. This is about retirement homes? nursery homes? places for old people. no idea what that has to do with anything
21:34. They are RIGHT IN FRONT of my condo
21:35. [photo. a dark street with several small lights.]
21:35. THEY JUST KEEP COMING
21:35. THE COPS ARE BEHIND THEM???????
21:37. briosa i am working.
21:37. WELL IM NOT AND THIS IS ABSOLUTELY WILD
21:38. Theyre moving now
21:38. They right next door im going to explode
21:38. briosa please.
21:38. im have tears in my eyes.
21:39. From laughing??
21:39. yes.
21:40. You text so fucking ominously boss
21:40. HES RECITING THE BOOKLET
21:41. ITS ABOUT EGG GUY GETTING MAD NOBODY BELIEVES HE CAME OUT OF AN EGG FROM ARCEUS
21:42. briosa i am Working!
21:42. challengers will be here any moment!
21:42. i cannot be laughing!
21:43. YOU WILL SHOULDER THIS MADNESS WITH ME I HAVE NOBODY ELSE TO INFLICT IT UPON
21:43. Wait fuck my dad is going to meet them bc hes walking Brighella
21:44. Brighella HATES people and noises outside of battles hes going to freak out poor boy hes just a poisonous bug
21:45. who is brighella?
21:45. Venipede
21:46. aaah.
21:47. But seriously have you NEVER heard of the catholics before
21:47. no?
21:48. should i?
21:48. I mean i would say yes
21:48. But then again my mom was one of them and insisted on dragging me to listen to them every day when i was like 3yo so that mightve been just me
21:49. Im still normal only bc of my dads circus training im pretty sure
21:49. your mom was in a cult?
21:49. Im fairly certain that was the third one
21:49. First one was the one she tried to get my dad to join and then forgot bc she married him
21:50. And dad only found out bc she got a letter that said everything she owned previously was now in their possession bc they kicked her out for not meeting her quota of new alcolytes
21:51. Second probably this one
21:51. Third was the one that made dad get a separate bank account for me n him bc
21:52. Last one was the terrorists
21:54. thats all verrry concerning!
21:54. Yea
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starjxsung · 8 months ago
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hiiii! i’m soooo excited for you!! your summer is going to be so fun <33 pls spam us with ateez pics & vids!!! (yeosan for me pls, i love them🙏🏻).
and im so excited for lolla! i need to start outfit planning😫 i kinda really want a skzoo bucket hat or baseball cap that i saw but: 1) i don’t want it to get ruined bc ive heard it gets dusty and muddy, 2) it doesn’t match my aesthetic and i don’t want to look insane😪
frrrr princess mononoke is in my letterbox 4. i love joe hisaishi so much. sometimes im just sitting and i start thinking about merry go round of life and i cry. and earwig is just all around horrible, the same thing happened to us and it was just wasted time. i also try to block it out of my life but i just can’t. did you ever see the boy and the heron btw?
i will probs keep talking about her at some point bc im kinda barely passing this class and she’s being kinda sus. i think her grading method is a bit biased so im kinda scared🤕 but whatever tbh. i talked to my classmates about it and they’ve been so supportive and i was literally like well friends if having a phd means i become like those professors id rather not. so we’ll see!
i absolutely hate tommy hilfiger so much. only skz can make it look good. the clothes are just so extremely mid. im not for the preppy style (to each their own) its just so bland. i also miss idols having a more unique style </3
ily bb!!! i hope your week has been great! take care <3
-🐈‍⬛
HI BABYYYY yes I promise I will spam all the Ateez pics I am physically capable of spamming !!!! 🙏
I haven’t even started LOOKING at potential Lolla fits and I’m panicking but now I also have to find Ateez fits for 2 separate nights and I’m so stressed I can’t even bring myself to start 😭 I just know I’m gonna be panic searching right before every one of my events LMAO
merry go round of life my beloved 😔 such a fucking masterpiece 😔🫶 I never got around to watching the boy and the heron!!! I’ve been meaning to for the longest time but somehow I just didn’t have the time. I know it’s obviously good but where would you say it ranks among your ghibli hierarchy? You have god tier taste so I trust that we’ll agree 👼🫶
I’m glad your friends are a good support system w this whole shitty Professor thing 🤕 ugh I’m sending you all my best wishes bby I still can’t believe you have to deal w her. It always begs the question to me of WHYYY they’re even in that field if they’re neither helpful nor understanding. It’s just a full power trip for them honestly
PLEASE did you see skz is attending the met gala dressed in Tommy 🤕 I’m so excited to see what they’re going to wear but if it’s anything like their recent stuff I feel like it’s going to be boring 😭 TH has done some cool stuff in past years for the met gala so I’m crossing my fingers but I don’t know !! Also I can’t wrap my head around the fact that skz will be at the met gala in the first place like not even BTS attended that’s insane 😭
I love u bby have the best weekend !!!
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honeybeekao · 2 years ago
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Oh you finished secret service do you have any Eden thoughts about it or is it mainly madra related
90% of my SS screenshots are madara or kohaku however oh my god i didnt truly get how funny ibara is until i read this. like my thoughts on him are he is an evil little creature who for some reason has so much power it's insane
BUT HE'S ALSO SO PETTY? amusing. that's the word im looking for he amuses me a lot. the comedy of them both silently thinking here gets me, madara is so intuitive i adore him
(translation by hyenahunt) SS spoilers ahead
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he's smart but the fact he didnt see madara betraying him from a mile away... okay girl. (side note MADARA WHY DO YOU. LAUGH IN YOUR INNER MONOLOGUE IM GOING TO GET YOU /loving)
also i generally like jun already ive read like so many random little stories so already being acquainted with him, hes my best friend. think the eden dynamic makes my heart melt theyre sooooo fun to observe. i understand why hiyori is like that in textposts now also love him I DONT HATE ANY ENSTARS CHARACTERS so my opinions are either positive or neutral. i NEED to see more im so bad at reading but i promsie to read Gang n conquest Soon jfdfjfxj ANYWy Umumyny i just???? secret service was so enjoyable. So so good, ignore i binge read all 30 chapters at 3 am on no sleep
NAGISA. THE WHOLE CONSPIRACY ABOUT THE GODFATHER BEING REPLACED i think i had to reread it like 3 times because what the Fuck. enstars LOVES replacement subplots. i also didnt really know much about nagisa before, i'd seen the eden anime eps and my first 5* in 2020 was his dream of the wasteland card. i find him really endearing, and and see.. unlike madara, /i/ can understand his ramblings <33 eden are just very compelling i think, theyre the most keychain-core of the cast i would get eden merch. have i mentioned kohaku yet no i haven't um okay so he's actually my favorite character in SS ngl
the way he genuinely does care about madara and sees right through him
You've got it rough,
Madara-han. That's exactly why I can't leave ya alone.
his entire role in this story feels a little protagonist-like. wanting so Badly to just fly around the world to find madara because the guy won't answer a single message and he's tied down by the preliminary regulations that Somehow rinne has decided they're following. he worries about mama getting into trouble but equally thinks about his life in general. how madara sacrifices his own happiness and dreams for the sake of working for the lesser-evil of justice. constantly on the move and he's never got his guard down, always pretending.
kohaku's inner monologues are just so, profound and thoughtful, i adore him. he's very caring
"Once I rip off all those masks you're wearin', I know I'll be able t'see the real you."
ALSO HIS ANALYSIS ON THE IDOL INDUSTRY??? i hate that this 15 year old is so eloquent he makes me insane.
OH MY GOD AND i loooved kohaku's interactions with eve. learning about how their respective units contrast eachother— but they both have similar roots of "everyone involved has a rough past"
"I'm a living corpse."
gatekeeper as a villain is also amusing to me good god. i wanna see the entire temple scene animated do you understand how much i wanna see madara kick gatekeeper away then IMMEDIATELY be in a staring death match with kohaku? THEIR ENTIRE FACADE FIGHT IS SO FUCKING GOOD it's so good i love the words shot at eachother.
"You're a nice kid. There's gotta be some psychological barriers that'll stop you from killing me."
as the expert in the skill of murder that he is, i personally would not be able to handle even a 10% chance that kohaku was serious. MADARA COULDN'T FULLY TELL BUT JUST HOPED HE'D GOTTEN HIS MESSAGE. theyre both silly fools and the fact that hiyori just had to watch like "What . is going on Huh". one of my favorite scenes in enstars ever
i could ramble sbout how kohaku's instincts to scold madara like a mother is so intriguing to me but i should do that in its own post probably. gosh he's the coolest kid i love kohaku
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mjulianwrites · 2 years ago
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wip inspiration tag — next day after dawn
thank you max @goose-books for the tag!! the rules for this one are list as many inspirations/influences as you would like for your current work in progress, and explain how they’ve shaped your project!
next day after dawn (or, the project formerly known as historieswip) is a second word political fiction novel that's basically a mishmash shakespeare's histories with 90% less battle scenes and 90% more insane family dynamics. after everyone's favourite boyboss war criminal king gets deposed, his inner circle gets locked up by the new regime, and we follow them as they try to figure out what to do next and slowly drive each other insane.
tagging: @wren-is-writing @athenapollo @avi-why and anyone else who wants to do this!
henry vi part 3 (aka the whole wars of the roses tetralogy): there's a reason this project is just nicknamed historieswip. ohhhhh babygirl we got histories and i am not preserving shakespeare's timelines at ALL, i am just throwing those babies in a blender until i get 1. vaguely medieval english political structures 2. war with not-france 3. huge royal family with so much wrong with them. but from the henry vi plays specifically! this is where like half of the characters come from. the prince cyrus/cassandane/darcy dynamic is just the henry vi/margaret/suffolk love triangle, the house of lunares is the house of york: girlboss edition, and everything about the prince cyrus and mona dynamic comes from me Thinking about henry vi and richard iii foils moments. i could say more but we'd be here all day.
henry iv part 1 (and kind of 2): so. king cyrus is hal but that's also so mean to hal because king cyrus is SO much worse. however. he does have the hal backstory, by which i mean he was a rakish little alcoholic prince with a gay little boytoy until his dad died and then he had to get Serious and banish all his besties. and renan is his poins except if poins didn't get banished and stuck as the world's most depressed advisor faking respectability instead. ALSO kane my best friend kane is basically my hotspur <33
henry v: again, king cyrus is basically just henry v with the war crimes dialed up to 11. this one is the main inspiration for his conquering hero era and also the conflict with not-france and the not-french wife. it's also where i stole the title from!
king john: most of the histories i'm stealing from are at least like. connected to each other. king john is not but i love philip the bastard so fucking much so he's here (with extra transmasc aroace swag). that's helios — the war hero king's bastard who shows up to rise above his station and annoy everyone around him. and maybe be terminally loyal to a king who really doesn't deserve it
succession: the elevator pitch for this project is basically shakespeare's histories meets succession. specifically, season 1 episode 2 of succession, where the all-powerful patriarch is suddenly out of commission and maybe never coming back and the rest of the family is left losing their minds and wondering what the fuck they do now.
the hunger games: here's where i put on my clown shoes and admit that. um. you know how i said kane is hotspur. well he is but he's ALSO cato from the hunger games, as characterized in the criminally long fanfiction i wrote in middle school. and drea is um. clove. ANYWAY. thg is also an inspiration in terms of worldbuilding because i'm going for something kind of post-post-apocalyptic where there are vast disparities in technology in different parts of the country after decades of war and inequality. so we get modern tech plus medieval weapons, thank god.
darkling: this is partly a hatecrime against max my best friend max @goose-books because once upon a time i started jokingly shipping the two horrible old men in this book and then got so attached to the dynamic that i fully imported it into this project and made it canon gay. sorry bestie. but GENUINELY darkling is one of the best fucking books i've ever read and such a huge inspiration for how i do shakespeare retellings and also fucked up family dynamics.
gideon the ninth: this book is really nothing like gtn but i have to give it a shoutout because reading gtn was what inspired me to create this project! basically because i remembered how much i love ensemble casts and decided i wanted to write one. there are some similarities in terms of the vibe of everyone being locked in a big fucked up house together and everyone having super on the nose themed names but really just shoutout to tamsyn muir for being such a good writer that she made me want what she had (so many blorbos)
thank you for coming to my ted talk <3
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twentyfivemiceinatrenchcoat · 11 months ago
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OKOKOK BUCKLE UP BECAUSE I HAVE A LOT TO SAY (this got like really really Really long sorry in advance </3)
first of all mickey my dearest: AAAAAAIUUGHHHHHEUHDJDBWODBXIDBFUDBIXBSYWTSYYDYWUEJFUEUUF i love u. i love this fic. this series. i NEED u to know that this made me fucking insane i LOVE ur writing so much i couldnt praise it enough everything in this felt sooooo much like a movie im so in awe of u its not even funny
but okokok im just gonna walk u thru my thoughts as i was reading :33 mickey i am smothering u in affection & love watch out my love beam is heading ur way ….. if u start to feel cozy & warm out of nowhere thats my handiwork <33
he wants to see the leaves, the vines growing on the houses, the river flowing along with the fish in it, the townsfolk. he knows the people, he loves the people; the old lady selling flowers on the corner, the blacksmith with one eye, the doctor, who taught shoko everything she knows, the kids playing ball, the cats nudging themselves against his calves. he loves it. and the people love him, too.
UUEUUUEUEUUEUEUEUUE 🥺🥺🥺🥺😥😥😥😥😭😭😭😭 MICKEY I MISSED HIMMM PRECIOUS PUPPYDOG OF A MAN…. ur satoru is so sickly-sweet he’s like a fresh clementine . slathered w honey. i want to put him in my mouth i dont wanna eat him i just want him to chill there. i just love him this paragraph makes me soooo…. i feel so emotional for some reason. waaaahh i just …. i can really feel his fondness for the town here and it makes me sooo 🥺🥺 he loves the town and the town loves him back!!
he buys loads and loads – some for his own room, some for his mom, some for the dining room and some for suguru and shoko. they always roll their eyes at that but the prince knows they appreciate the gesture; he's seen shoko admire them on the balcony of her room, observing every single petal in detail and he has seen suguru smelling them, when he thinks the prince isn't looking. suguru's nose is sensitive, so the prince takes his time picking out the ones with a smell that won't make his nose scrunch up.
AAAAAAAA AND THEN U FOLLOW IT UP W THIS……. :(( toru has the softest spot for kids so true!!! AND THE FLOWERS FOR SUGUSHOKO IM CRYING IM SOBBING it’s what they deserve!!!! they’re both soooo embarrassing acting like they aren’t giggling & kicking their feet over those flowers every single day… esp sugu like i KNOW what u are . he’s a little flower boy . he loves them i just know it …. AAAND TORU BEING SOOO THOUGHTFUL :(((( he just loves so fervently…
"i kept scolding them over it. but no, they just kept going. later i learned that all of those beatings and slashings were for other kids." her head hanged low as she spoke. "they kept taking the blame for the younger kids, so that they wouldn't get hurt. stole food, so that they wouldn't starve. i didn't know that." 
:( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( mickey….. i know ive commented on this before bUT….. it really does break my heart so much :<…………. i think ill always be so so so weak for the tough exterior/soft interior trope ….. that character who seems scary and violent and uncaring but they have such a gentle heart. T^T i adore knight!reader soooo much mickey…. i’ll probably repeat myself saying this but i really think it’s such a huge testament to ur talent that u can make ur reader just as charming as the character i’m supposed to be thirsting over LMAO
he thinks about how there are no street kids now – he made sure of that. his father wasn't a fan of his idea of lowering the taxes and building a house for the alleged troubled kids. he hired some people that take care of them and that's another place he'll visit later today. he loves the kids so much and he just wants them to have a good life in his town. he won't be like his father — he will be better. 
HE’S SO KIND HE’S SO KIND HE’S SO KINDDDDD mickey ☹️☹️☹️☹️☹️ aaa i just know knight!reader would respect him sm for this too……… i can sooooo see knight!reader having a huge soft spot for kids btw like . i think it’s just in the nature of tough/soft scary dog priviliege characters to be so good w children it hits every single time
a familiar glint of armor catches his eye. it's you. 
KNIGHT!READER HYPE KNIGHT!READER HYPEEEEEE I MISSED U MY SWEETIE MY MEOWMEOW‼️‼️‼️
you give her a small nod and go for a hand shake for good measure but the doctor grabs your hand with both of hers and holds it to her heart. she tells you something that makes your lip quiver just a bit, just a little.
🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺 mickey …. u need to stop this immediately . ohhh this is gonna make me cry isnt it …. no bc i can just imagine knight!reader’s being so touched and choked up by just a tiny bit of kindness…. i want to pat their head i want them to rest their head on my lap etc etc </3 aaaa i need them to be pampered they’re just so sweet and troubled. i wonder if maybe the dr apologized.....
the prince is stopped in his tracks, only managing to stare at you from a distance. he hasn't seen you since your little meet-cute. not for his lack of trying, though. oh no, he's been all over town, trying to find his little knight but to no avail — gone like the summery wind.
his little knight DO U WANT ME TO COLLAPSE STOPPPP STOP IT gone like the summery wind…… i love this line sm i can practically taste it . ok but the implications here … the symbolism….. knight!reader being associated w summer in particular …. hmmm hmm hmmm. i am Thinking
you make your way to the flower lady, greeting her with another bow of your head. so polite. the woman just beams at you and the prince feels his own lips twitch into a smile. you two engage in conversation that he cannot hear but once in his life, he doesn't want to interrupt. the flower lady says something that makes your head fall before she bursts into loud laughter, something teasing he thinks.
🥺🥺🥺 this makes me feel so soft mickey KNIGHT!READER BEING SO POLITE…… and being treated so warmly hhhhh it’a what they deserve!!!!!! they deserve all of it and more!!!!! and gojo just watching fondly….. everything feels so vivid and warm i wanna dive into this fic & sleep in it (future ari here i just wanna say that i do not in fact want to dive into this fic anymore i’ll stay in summer ☹️☹️)
he catches a faint, the faintest, little smirk playing on your lips and his knees are ready to give out. 
GOOOOODDDDDD SAMMEEEEEE SAME ME AND PRINCE!GOJO ARE LIKE THIS 🤝🤝🤝 a SMIRK ohhhhhh my knees would buckle. my lungs would cave in. mickey ur characterization is so godly i dont even know what to say i think im genuinely more attracted to knight!reader than prince!gojo atp i need them so bad
reaching the stream that runs through the town, you lean against railing and tilt your head toward the sun. you bask in it. the light warms your skin, accentuating the scar across your eye. it looks cool.
aaaa this is so vivid & lovely BUT ALSO ;;;;;;; MICKEY THEY’RE SOOOO CATCODED THERE ARE TEARS IN MY EYES just soaking in the sunlight 🥺🥺🥺🥺 babyyyyyy …. i need them to be safe and happy so bad mickey pls for my sanity dont make this too angsty i might crumble into little bits and pieces. (future ari here again past ari if u can hear me TURN BACK NOW 😥😥😥) AND THE SCAR <333333 theyre the coolest!!!!
"you do that often, your highness?"
hm?
you address him without turning your head and it makes the prince jump a little. you knew he was here? he looks behind him just make sure you are, in fact, talking to h—
"yes, i'm talking to you." 
AND THEIR MEETING HHHHHH i love their dialogue so MUCH …. my beloved sassy knight <333333
"i was not standing in the middle of the street! i am perfectly on the side, i don't know what you're talking about." he takes a step toward you, so– so eager to finally have you here with him.
"that's what you took from that sentence?" your fist raised in front of your lips, surpressing a grin.
the prince is more observant than you'd think. his fingers twitch by his side, eager to remove your hand and let your smile shine. 
mickey i cant breathe please stop this ? please stop this. IM LOSING ITTTT THEYRE TOO CUTE I CANT TAKE IT eager to remove your hand and let your smile shine 😭🥺🥺 oh he’s so down bad its embarrassing HE JUST WANTS TO SEE THEM SMILE … this whole interaction feels soso fond . so warm. like the banter is so good and fun but they also have this chemistry that makes me feel so cozy and at peace hhhh they’re my little angels
"i haven't seen you around."
"oh, were you looking for me, your highness?" it's supposed to be another tease but it doesn't fall through becaus—
"yes." the prince deadpans. humming, you try to brush off his straigh-forwardness. 
"missed me, your highness?" you decide to give it another go.
"yes." and it doesn't work. you feel heat crawling up your neck, so you raise a hand to massage it. to hide it from the prince's keen eyes.
ok so turns out i fucking lied disregard my other words THIS ^^^^ is my last straw im so close to snapping u dont even KNOW… i adore their dynamic its so good. its so special to me. mickey ur so talented it hurts i dont understand how u can make ur characters so effortlessly charming ……… the banter is just so flirty and sweet and touching and im abt to . Explode i think. UR WRITING REALLY DOES HAVE MOVIE VIBES I SWEAR IT’S TRUE this is the part of the movie where i click pause to squeal into my hands <333
he really does look like a puppy like this. you've never seen one, you've only met teeth-baring wolves in the woods. you don't know what to do with him.
MICKEY IM ??????? no. we NEED to talk abt this u cant just casually drop this and expect me to be even remotely normal LIKE THE . the . the symbolism …. the implications ………. knight!reader being a stray cat, only accustomed to wild dogs who bare their teeth and snap their jaws… who’s used to being chased away, hunted, and then in comes the sweetest friendliest little puppy???? and they just dont know what to DO… one thing abt me is i will never fail to crumble when i see a character who feels uncomfortable around good kind people simply because they’re so unfamiliar with kindness. it guts me like nothing else. prince!gojo is what someone like knight!reader NEEDS and that’s exactly why i think they’ll end up pushing him away. but ohhh mickey this line 💔💔 im gnawing at it gently it’s my fave ever 
"i just can't help it. and, anyway, i'm trying to figure out whether this is a dream or not."
PEHJDHDHD HE’S SOOOO????? silly silly little man!!!!!!! he makes me so happyyyyy sweet little prince <33333 
"well, did you?"
"i did. it matches your eyes. if i had known my little knight was in town, i would've worn it."
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(sound of explosion) (sound of explosion) (sound of explosion) IT …. MATCHES THE COLOUR OF THEIR EYES ……… MICKEYYY STOPPPP HE’S SO??? THEY’RE SOO???? it matches your eyes why does this feel like a declaration of love like it hit me SO hard 😥😥 this little freak. this romantic loser. it matches their EYES mickey im so …
another breeze bristles through the two of you, rustling the prince's hair. the desire to fix it is weirdly strong, you push it aside. 
🥺🥺🥺 silly little knight thinks they can stifle their inherent tenderness lmaoooo look at this loser (i would die for them)
the cloud moves a little and a few sun beams drop down onto the prince, leaving you behind into the shadows for a moment before lighting you up again.
im sorry for being ill but my brain is literally spinning right now im digging into every single line looking for symbolism like ….. the sun ….. the way the shadow falls across the knight but not the prince ……. do u see where im going w this. and knight!reader who always feels most at peace when they’re basking in sunlight… who met the prince in summer…. IM CONNECTING THE DOTS IM CONNECTING THEM !!!!
"that what? use your words, your highness. you're a big boy, i know you can do it."
prince!gojo is stronger than me i would’ve folded like a lawn chair i KNOWWW he ate this up though. mickey if knight!reader ever called him a good boy do u think he would actually just explode yes or yes
"what do you think will happen if you say it, hm? there's nobody here; nobody to shame you for it and even if somebody tried – i'd protect you." the last part tugs the corners of his mouth up, nailing them there, showing off his pearly whites.
MICKEYYYYYYYYY 🥺🥺🥺🥺 he’s so…. nothing gets me like a good ol declaration of protection genuinely . (future ari back again in retrospect this line hurts more than the ending of this fic like can u even IMAGINE the guilt he must feel. fuckkkk)
he's doing it again. kind of trying to claw inside your ribcage. thankfully you're wearing armor; you won't let it happen. you can't. it's crazy, how much his sincerity irks you. and his jokes. and his smile. and his eyes. and the way he won't leave you alone. and the way he keeps bugging you about the name. you won't, though. you will not. 
ribcage mention ….. have i mentioned that im weak for ribcage imagery 👉👈 it makes me feel a little ill I LOOVEEE THIS PARAGRAPH MICKEY I LOVE IT SO MUCH knight!reader i hate to break it to u but u are experiencing what human beings refer to as positive emotions 😔😔 THEY LIKE HIM THEY DOOO he’s silly & sweet & a little impossible not to love. i’d pretend not to like him but honestly mickey i dont think i could resist doting on him… i wanna pick him up and spin him around until he’s giggling and telling me to put him down
"i can drop the 'your highness', if that'll make you leave me alone."
"yes!" he does a little celebratory movement with his fist and the urge to punch him is back. "that's a start. we're getting somewhere now."
"we're not getting anywhere, stupid."
MY BELOVEDS ohhh they make me so happy theyre so cuteee
"fought a bear."
...
"what?! you can't just casually say you fought a fucking bear and then just stoically look in the distance?" he's ready to bounce off the walls, three words filling his adrenaline gauge immediately.
"nothing special about it." 
it's taking you everything to hold back your laughter.
"wha— what the fuck do you mean 'it's nothing special'? you fought a bear?!" 
he's unbelievably naive, actually, because does he seriously think you fought a bear and got away with some scratches on your fingers and nothing else? he's deluded. just for you.
"how big was it? was it mad? did you kill its babies? oh, i hope you didn't kill its babies, that's so bad. wait, did you kill it? why'd you fight it in the first place? c'mon, please tell me. please." 
MY HEART FEELS SO FULL IM SMILING SO WIDE their banter gives me so much joy it’s insane KNIGHT!READER IS SO FUNNY….. and prince!gojo my sweetipie ……. he’s worried abt the BEAR CUBS im genuinely gonna cry he’s the sweetest in the world 😭😭 also just for you i collapsed .
you sigh deeply before glancing at him, almost stopping your false little story because of his confused expression. he's cute. no, he isn't.
HELPME PSHWUDJ THEIR INNER DEMONS… i like to think that knight!reader is haunted by this tiny little voice that just will not stfu abt the prince . full disco elysium style . they're so harry coded actually
"i'm just fucking with you, my liege. i didn't fight a fucking bear, s—" 
PDHDJDJJDFJ IM JUST FUCKING WITH YOU MY LIEGE mickey i hope u know this will forever be etched into my vocabulary. ALSOOO how did u know my liege was my favorite royalty title <3333 i giggle & twirl my hair every time i see it
it's a second. where it's all quiet – just you and him, looking at each other and smiling. it's weird. and so good at the same time. you don't know what to do with yourself. he bumps his shoulder into yours before leaning back down. he stays close, an inch between you and you fight the urge to pull away. you're scared. not used to this. it was just a fleeting touch and he doesn't seem that affected. (he is). your eyes flick from the river to the fish to the flowers by the water and to the sky above you. you don't know what to do with yourself.
mickey………… if i proposed would u say yes YOU DONT KNOW WHAT TO DO WITH YOURSELF……… this . this!!!!! this one really really really gutted me . like. owch owch owch. knight!reader really is so so unaccustomed to anything Good & Kind & Safe and it breaks my heart a lil :&lt; you’re scared.…… mickey i know u are w me on this but like . just the idea of someone who isn’t afraid of beasts or blood or pain, but so so scared of intimacy…. it’s just such a tasty and heartwrenching concept </3
ok so mickey i just want u to know that i can’t really breathe and it’s your fault ☹️☹️ THE ENTIRE FLOWER GIRLS SCENE ………… MICKEYYY I MELTED IM NOT KIDDING I CANT TAKE IT literally every single line makes me emotional LIKE ;;;;;
"well, hello to my very favourite girls." 
HE’S SO GIRLDAD IM GONNA BE SICK
one of the girls reminds you of shoko. it's a bit uncanny, really. brown hair and big brown eyes. and she even stares at you the same way, just like she did when you were small; with a sense of curiosity instead of the usual distain you were used to. you try to give her a cautious smile, so afraid she'll be frightened by your sharp teeth, by the scars. 
🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺 ohhhhh they’re so awkward but so good w the girls too….. they’re trying their best i love them so much
the prince is quietly observing you from the corner of his eye while braiding one of the other girls' hair. the girls taught him that. he's very good at it, too. the third little lady is talking his ear off about the next tea-party they're having. he loves them. 
IM LYING IN A PUDDLE OF MY OWN TEARS HE’S SOOOOO GIRLDAD I CANT STAND HIM
"does it hurt?"
you shake your head. not anymore.
:( do u want me hospitalized mickey be honest
the prince swears there are stars in your eyes, and he's determined to make them stay there. 
🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺 sorry i think i’ve lost my last remaining braincells my head is just air and a whole bunch of 🥺s
"i think..." the prince's hand reaches for the flower, his fingertips ghosting over yours. "this..." he raises it next to your ear. "should go here. what'd you think girls?" they excitedly nod their heads. "yes! yes!" 
and to top it off, he whispers a 'be good' to you.
a grumble, is what escapes your tight throat but the quiet giggles that emit from the girls help it relax. the prince's nimble hand pushes a hair behind your ear and places the flower aside it.
MCIKEYDH MIEUCJE MICVEYE MICKEY MY VISION IS GOING BLURRY IM ABT TO PASS OUT????? LIKE ACTUALLY LEGITIMATELY WOWWWW OK . ok . i will be normal about this . BE GOOD???????? DO U WNAT ME TO DIE??????????????,,, ok so maybe i was underestimating his power . just a little . maybe i would fold instantly. 😔😔
also the .. the physical contact …….. mickey i can literally see it all so vividly like it’s insane . IT’S SO GOOD IM SO IN LOVE and the way knight!reader just grumbles 🥺🥺🥺 ohhh they aren’t used to the attention at all. they’re the cutest little guy ever.
your eyes flick over to them, still waiting for them to just run off but they're there. admiring the knight with the flower behind their ear alongside their prince. the heat is now clawing its way up your neck and onto your face; the warm tint on your cheeks makes the prince coo. that's enough. 
MICKEY NOT THE COOING IM BEGGING U I CANT HANDLE IT this scene gave me a physical reaction btw i blushed and kicked my feet irl . my eyes are a little glassy. the effect ur writing has on me can’t be normal what spell have u put me under 😥😥😥😥
a tug on your bandaged hand makes you jump. "are you coming to the party?" it's the mini-shoko. tugging on your arm like when you were young. 
your eyebrows raise – you don't know the answer to her simple question. it should be a no, but how can you say that to her? you just want her to smile, to keep smiling. 
MINI SHOKO 💔💔💔💔 aaaaa and knight!reader just wants them to keep smiling…. ohhh they love shoko so dearly :((
"it looks good."
"fuck off." shoving him off of your shoulder, you give him a firm punch against his chest, loud laughter rumbling through it. god, he's annoying.
(…)
"stop staring." 
"i can't."
you slightly open one of your eyes and peer at him. his leaning on the thing, cheek mushed against the palm of his hand, eyes set on you. he looks beautiful.
KNIGHT!READER X PRINCE!GOJO THE ONLY PAIRING EVER ACTUALLY this dynamic makes me so weak mickey 😭😭😭 they’re so funny & sweet i need them to kiss
”i want to look at people and i want them to look at me. i want to connect with them. with the world. with you."
(…)
"i heard it gives you headaches?"
"it's worth it." 
he means it. you hum.
prince!gojo my beloved …….. i looooveeee this moment between them and i love how u characterize them both like i literally can't say this enough: i adore them both and they feel so . multifaceted and real…. it’s worth it. and he means it!!!! he loves everyone around him!!! :’3
"i heard that little boys like you get washed away in the rain. 'm jus' looking out for you."
"i— am not a little boy."
oh, and his voice cracks. 
KNIGHT!READER IS SUCHHH A TEASE I ADORE THEM teaser x teaser is the ideal dynamic actually
his cheeks flush but it's worth it because the next thing he hears is like the sweetest melody in the world – you laugh. you actually laugh. 
AAAA he’s so smitten 🥺🥺🥺🥺
"right... not a little boy but a pretty little princess instead." and you can't help it, another chuckle bubbling up your throat. 
he's in awe. the sun peeks from the grey clouds and soaks you in it's golden light. his knight. 
"i—..." and he can't contain his own laughter. "okay, first of all – i'd make a gorgeous princess, for all you know!"
"oh, i don't doubt that." you scoff.
HE’S THE PRETTIEST PRINCESS ON PLANET EARTH HE’S MY GIRLFRIEND HE’S THE LOVE OF MY LIFE knight!reader/prince!gojo vs gender and they just keep winning every single time ….. THIS WHOLE SCENE IS SOSO SOFT & WARM mickeyyy i said it before but reading ur writing really does feel like eating a really sweet refreshing treat it makes me sooo happy im nomnoming it :33
"the girls have taught you well, i see." your hand rises again to hide your foreign expression; rough, scarred fingers covering the softest grin. "you really are ridiculous..."
"just for you." his voice is always so confident, like he really means it. for you. but he isn't. he isn't for you – you seem to be forgetting that. mistakes like that tend to get punished. 
ok first of all i need knight!reader so bad they’re so cool they’re so charming SECOND OF ALL…. just for you ……. yeah. yeahhhh. don’t even get me started on mistakes like that tend to get punished i don’t like this foreshadowing mickey 😭😭😭 WHAT A BANGER LINE THOUGH IT HIT ME LIKE A TRUCK….
his wrist is still caught in your palm and he doesn't plan on letting you go – swiveling his hand to properly grasp onto yours. it doesn't burn. 
mickey have i mentioned that u are a genius…. the way u show reader and how touch-anxious they are and how that sloooowwlllyyyy starts to change makes me so emotional i just wanna tuck them into my pocket and keep them safe 😔😔
the dark figure staring at you from the distance is hidden by the sound of the prince's addicting laughter. you've let yourself go for a minute and you're about to be punished for it. are you ready?
MICKEY CAN WE NOT????? CAN WE HAVE ONE GOOD DAY IN THIS HOUSEHOLD???????? ok but genuinely though the way u prepare the reader for it is soooo fucking cool it’s like knight!reader is aware of it themselves and taking that little leap knowing they’ll be punished for it deep down… IT’S SO GOOD AND PAINFUL AND OMINOUS are you ready? NO???? IM NOT???????
it's so easy to forget with him. to forget everything. that you're not supposed to be acting like this. playing like children. especially with the prince. you're not supposed to be laughing. having fun. you're not supposed to.
you splash him back, child-like laughter falling from your lips with ease. it's your fault.
mickey i wish i could feel happy and giddy but there’s this little lump of anxiety in my chest now and it won’t go away ☹️☹️☹️
this time – your noses really do bump together, an immediate flush spreading across your face. your armor is heavy on his chest but he doesn't mind. doesn't mind when it comes to you. when you try to get up, his fingers latch onto the metal, gently pressing down on your waist. 
THE INTIMACY THE LONGING THE EMOTIONS HE DOESN’T MIND WHEN IT COMES TO YOUUUU (the lump of anxiety is still there btw)
your eyes widen and your lips sow themselves shut in the blink of an eye, forcing the prince watch you swallow his name; push it deep down – as far as it could possibly go. never to be seen again. the weight of your armor lifts from his chest, but another kind remains heavy on his heart. 
aaaaand there it is!!!! im in shambles. okay but mickey soooo many lines in this fic will live in my brain forever the way reader literally swallows his name back down …. never to be seen again. owowow. just :ccccccc this scene is so heartwrenching but also so inevitable hhhh
the prince's mouth opens – ready to defend his knigh—
a slap!
mickey i dont feel so good
the man's back of the hand meets your cheek, jolting you, awakening some well-hidden memories deep in your body. your eyes shoot up to face your foe. you know this man. his eyes are cold; cold as the sudden autumn wind, a wind you know will give you a fever and nail you to your bed. your cheek throbs – a dark pink pool of shame; pure shame and digust of oneself. 
THIS PARAGRAPH IS SO BEAUTIFUL AND VIVID AND HURTS SO BAD mickey sorry if my notes here are sloppy my brain is spinning w thoughts but im so locked into the scene that i can’t really think 😭😭😭 but ok wait jot the autumn symbolism down i’m gonna tie it back to gojo being reader’s metaphorical summer i’m still not sure what that makes them though. probably spring right???? that’s my guess so far OK BACK TO READING
how dare you?
a sharp intake of breath and the prince is hurling towards you but a strong hand keeps him in place. 
"don't." suguru. his arm drapes over the prince's chest, holding him back. 
SUGURU MENTIONED SUGURU MENTIONED SUGURU MENTIONED ok sorry im normal this scene is fucking heartbreaking btw like i feel genuine anguish in my soul i feel a little nauseous i probably won’t sleep well tonight etc etc
the heavy brash rain washes away the light that had been shining in your eyes, turning them back into a pair off dull ones; the beating heart behind your ribs rattling in its cage. stupid.
yeahhhhhhh i genuinely don’t feel so good PHDJDHIDJDJ 😭😭 MICKEY THIS SCENE IS LITERALLY SO GOOD I’M COMPLETELY INVESTED but i feel . Numb inside. like i can picture everything so vividly your writing is just Like That but in this case i really don’t want to feel the scene as strongly as i am rn 😭😭😭 I’M SENSITIVE TOO OK me and prince!gojo are holding hands w our stupid sniffly little selves
his heavy fist lands against your worn back, stumbling you forward. he doesn't need to tell you twice. you don't wanna hear it twice. with a throbbing red cheek you step before the prince and slowly fall down to your knee, into the mud. where you belong. you reach for the prince's hand, raising it to your face.
"forgive me, my prince." 
after what seemed like entirnity, your eyes meet. it's not you. it can't be. chapped lips graze the back of his hand, trembling in your hold while you keep your cold gaze on him. the flower behind your ear has wilted, laying limp, just about ready to fall and sink deep into the ground. 
the flower wilting ………… the rain ……….. sorry im genuinely heartbroken rn i cant think this is extremely up my alley though . im obsessed. it hurts so badly i cant breathe. ur writing is so beautiful but it makes the pain 10x worse
suguru doesn't look any better than the two of you; his lips indefinitely turned downward, guilt seeping from the hands holding his best friend. he knows he can't do anything for you and he's sure you know it too, it doesn't take away the god awful feeling, though. he feels the prince turning more into a puddle by the second, his grasp on him faltering. 
mickey im not even kidding the only comfort i have rn is knight!sugu just a singlemention of him makes the pain in my chest a lil more bearable if the next part is this angsty too pls do me a favour and keep him on standby he’s my emotional support 💔💔💔💔
this won't happen again; it cannot happen again. he's just a boy — a boy, who wants to play house, knowing there won't be a punishment for his fun. a mere slap against his fingers that he'll respond to with a frown but nothing more. but a knight? playing house? it's absurd, laughable even. it is disgraceful. 
who do you think you are? 
who are you to touch the prince with your dirty hand? who are you to stain him with your tainted touch? how dare you muddy their little doll? their precious prince? you're some foul creature seen on the street; an agressive dog, ready to chew up the prince. he's not for you to touch, to have — he's theirs. he is everything and you are nothing.
there’s something so heartbreaking here on both ends because knight!reader is so troubled and self-loathing and so quick to imagine themselves as some kind of beast but also prince!gojo….. the heartbreak & shame that he must feel after telling them that he’d protect them and then failing to do so. ohhh this is gonna break him a little isnt it??? a prince who has the kingdom at his fingertips but has to watch someone he cares for get abused. it’s just so so twisted and it hurts so much to think abt . :((( i loved this scene mickey i really truly did w all my heart but as u can probably tell im empty inside LMAOOO
and in the end — you're not even a real knight.
ok so we’re gonna unpack this <33 EXCUSE ME WHAT. okokokokok my brain is kinda out of juice but hmmmmm. hm hm hm. this really is just me spitballing mickey pls dont mind me i just need this written out for my peace of mind; maybe reader idolizes knights? maybe they were saved by one at some point? maybe they yearn to be a knight so badly that they pretend to be one? assuming that this line is like . Literal bc i could also see it being a im not worthy to be a knight ; i could never be a true knight kinda thing even if they are one in technicality...
anyway anyway this got . um. Long IM SORRY I DIDNT MEAN FOR IT TO i was just so excited to read this all day :’3 mickey i love this series so much it’s so special to me and YOU’RE so special to me im kissing ur giant brain and ur genius writing fingers!!!!! i hope u can feel my love through these notes even if they’re a little . Messy. ILY AND I LOVE THIS …. the scene w the flower girls + the knight’s guard are gonna be spinning around in my head forever and ever <3333
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AUTUMN - THE SMILE
a reuniun between a prince and a knight, filled with laughter, giggles and tears. you should've seen it coming.
☆. contains: prince!satoru gojo x gn!knight!reader; fluff; angst :D; just a tad bit of violence toward the reader but they can take it (right?); knight!suguru makes an appearance as always, talk of shoko and her childhood
☆. word count: 6k
☆. note: got very real in the end. it'll pass, though. surely. tagging my beloveds too bc i want to. @twentyfivemiceinatrenchcoat & @elusivemoon & @staryukis
+ here are the masterlist, the previous part & the soundtrack
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it's autumn.
the yellow and red leaves paint the town in their warm colors. the people are wearing matching scarves, some already mittens too. the wind can be unforgiving during this time of year - it hides itself behind the last few drops of sunlight and reemerges the second a cloud appears.
it is sunny today, though. a few clouds here and there but not doesn't scare anybody. the town is as bustling as ever. and the prince is out on his daily walk again. he loves being outside, the castle makes him feel so restricted, so caged in. outside - whether it's the shadowy woods or the lively town, he feels free, even if it's a mere moment. he loves taking in the sun - he isn't wearing his blindfold again, aware of the hard fact that he'll get a sickening headache after, but he just can't help it. he wants to see the world around him without the silly restriction his eyes beg for him to wear. he wants to see the leaves, the vines growing on the houses, the river flowing along with the fish in it, the townsfolk. he knows the people, he loves the people; the old lady selling flowers on the corner, the blacksmith with one eye, the doctor, who taught shoko everything she knows, the kids playing ball, the cats nudging themselves against his calves. he loves it. and the people love him, too.
-ˋˏ✄┈┈┈┈
sure, there are many, who'd like to see him dead but those are just power-hungry dogs and the prince knows that. he loves his people and they love him. whenever he comes out, he always plays with the kids. always. he plays ball with them, he plays house with them, he even planned a tea party for them once. he always visits the flower shop lady to look and smells the flowers, even when they're the exact same ones from the day before. he always buys some, insisting that he pays when the lady says otherwise. he buys loads and loads – some for his own room, some for his mom, some for the dining room and some for suguru and shoko. they always roll their eyes at that but the prince knows they appreciate the gesture; he's seen shoko admire them on the balcony of her room, observing every single petal in detail and he has seen suguru smelling them, when he thinks the prince isn't looking. suguru's nose is sensitive, so the prince takes his time picking out the ones with a smell that won't make his nose scrunch up.
suguru walks with him often, but not today. his knight duties called – the king's guard specifically requested him. 'how fancy' the prince said with a grin, earning a punch to his shoulder. he's proud of his friend, though, always. suguru makes an excellent knight and he couldn't be happier to have his best friend with him at all times (at most times).
he likes to visit the blacksmith, too. and every single time he begs, begs, to try out the job. he wants to get his hands dirty, he wants to try new things. he gets excited; it's freeing. a few times, when the prince is alone, the blacksmith allows the boy to help him.
the doctor is someone he also visits regularly. just to check up on her and to talk about shoko – he is insistent on knowing everything about her childhood but she herself won't tell him all that much. he always brings the doctor freshly brewed coffee from the tavern across the street. from her, he has learned that shoko had a rather tough childhood. well, he did know that much. he did learn that the doctor took in shoko when she was just eight; gave her a warm house and a bed and made her into an apprentice. shoko never budged an eye at the blood and the screams, which threw the doctor off a bit but she supposed it's from the life on the streets.
he has also learned that shoko had a friend, who was ready to do anything for her and for others for that's sake. with a deep sigh, she confessed that she regretted not taking in the other kid. shoko was more quiet, more well-behaved in a sense but the other kid – they kept getting into fights with the knights of the castle. "i kept scolding them over it. but no, they just kept going. later i learned that all of those beatings and slashings were for other kids." her head hanged low as she spoke. "they kept taking the blame for the younger kids, so that they wouldn't get hurt. stole food, so that they wouldn't starve. i didn't know that."
the prince nodded along, surprised to hear about this noble kid. his age, too. "where are they now?" he asked in a whisper, a little scared of the answer.
"they left. around the time they were twelve, i think. shoko was miserable. brought me and her flowers and bread; the most polite troubled kid i ever saw." she sighed."i was stupid."
the prince never mentions all that he knows to shoko; of course, he wants to know more but if she needs time to tell it to him herself – so be it. he offered her a room at the castle after he and suguru made her patch him up after a little accident. it's funny really, one of the prince's fondest memories.
though, the prince can't lie about being very fascinated the mysterious kid, who left town. why did they leave in the first place? why take the blame? who is this person? where are they now?
it's an old conversation that popped into his head as he's making his way to see the very same doctor today. why today? a cold breeze makes a shiver run down his spine and he looks up at the sun. it's so bright. fuck, he's definitely gonna get that headache. a group of kids run by him, laughter filling the street. he thinks about how there are no street kids now – he made sure of that. his father wasn't a fan of his idea of lowering the taxes and building a house for the alleged troubled kids. he hired some people that take care of them and that's another place he'll visit later today. he loves the kids so much and he just wants them to have a good life in his town. he won't be like his father — he will be better.
a warm smell of pastries suddenly floods his nose and he hums – it's thursday today. it's when they bake the biggest batch of goodies. his mouth is already salivating just thinking about it. he'll have to bring some to his friends too. as he's reaching his destination, a familiar glint of armor catches his eye. it's you. standing before the doctor's house, looking up at her with what can only be described as hope, as she's pointing toward the castle with a small smile. you give her a small nod and go for a hand shake for good measure but the doctor grabs your hand with both of hers and holds it to her heart. she tells you something that makes your lip quiver just a bit, just a litte. nodding again, you bow your head and bid your goodbye. the doctor is left standing at her door, watching you walk toward the flower shop.
the prince is stopped in his tracks, only managing to stare at you from a distance. he hasn't seen you since your little meet-cute. not for his lack of trying, though. oh no, he's been all over town, trying to find his little knight but to no avail — gone like the summery wind.
but now. here you are.
you make your way to the flower lady, greeting her with another bow of your head. so polite. the woman just beams at you and the prince feels his own lips twitch into a smile. you two engage in conversation that he cannot hear but once in his life, he doesn't want to interrupt. the flower lady says something that makes your head fall before she bursts into loud laughter, something teasing he thinks. it's like she knows you, why else would she be so comfortable with a new knight in town? he catches a faint, the faintest, little smirk playing on your lips and his knees are ready to give out.
after the short conversation with the woman, you make your way through the town with the prince tailing you. he watches you take in the people, the kids, the houses. the familiarity of it all. many of the older people seem to recognize you, bowing their heads as you pass by them.
reaching the stream that runs through the town, you lean against railing and tilt your head toward the sun. you bask in it. the light warms your skin, accentuating the scar across your eye. it looks cool. you have the same cuirass on from the months before, the little specks of rust still there. he looks at your hands, the bandages covering your fingers and the back of your hand. he's so curious about them. how'd you fight? how'd you protect? who'd you save? where have you been? it's eating him alive, he just wants to fucking ask you about the—
"you do that often, your highness?"
hm?
you address him without turning your head and it makes the prince jump a little. you knew he was here? he looks behind him just make sure you are, in fact, talking to h—
"yes, i'm talking to you."
"wha— how'd you know i was here?" his voice is a pitch higher than usual, genuinely surprised by having your attention on him.
"well, you're bound to spot the royal idiot standing with his mouth wide open in the middle of the street, your highness." you tease.
"i was not standing in the middle of the street! i am perfectly on the side, i don't know what you're talking about." he takes a step toward you, so– so eager to finally have you here with him.
"that's what you took from that sentence?" your fist raised in front of your lips, surpressing a grin.
the prince is more observant than you'd think. his fingers twitch by his side, eager to remove your hand and let your smile shine.
"i haven't seen you around."
"oh, were you looking for me, your highness?" it's supposed to be another tease but it doesn't fall through becaus—
"yes." the prince deadpans. humming, you try to brush off his straigh-forwardness.
"missed me, your highness?" you decide to give it another go.
"yes." and it doesn't work. you feel heat crawling up your neck, so you raise a hand to massage it. to hide it from the prince's keen eyes.
...
"you're ridiculous. don't you have other people to play around with?"
"oh, tons and tons. but they're not you." he leans toward you, tilting his head, boring his pretty blue eyes into yours – he really does look like a puppy like this. you've never seen one, you've only met teeth-baring wolves in the woods. you don't know what to do with him.
"has anyone mentioned, you have a terrible staring problem, your highness?" you retort.
"i just can't help it. and, anyway, i'm trying to figure out whether this is a dream or not."
"why would this be a dream, your highness?"
"i was momentarily convinced that our whole little date was a dream after i woke up, too, actually. but thank god, suguru was there to tell me that you did, in fact, save me. and, and you – yes, you – kindly refused the money and even told me to go and buy myself a new outfit." it's so off-putting how matter of fact it sounds. like he really thought it was a dream. you wonder, whether that's a good or a bad thing.
"well, did you?"
"i did. it matches your eyes. if i had known my little knight was in town, i wouldn've worn it." he sighs dramatically, rolling his eyes before setting his gaze on the river below.
another breeze bristles through the two of you, rustling the prince's hair. the desire to fix it is weirdly strong, you push it aside. a cloud appears and moves in front of the beaming sun, casting a shadow upon you.
"i'm not your knight, your highness. nor am i little." straightening your back, you try to remind him of that. it's hard, he doesn't really take you seriously like that. it irks you.
"yeah– yeah." he brushes it off with ease. no harm done. the cloud moves a little and a few sun beams drop down onto the prince, leaving you behind into the shadows for a moment before lighting you up again.
"by the way, can you stop doing that?"
"doing what, your highness?" you inquire with a raised brow.
"that. exactly that."
"that what? use your words, your highness. you're a big boy, i know you can do it." it's funny to tease him. the honored prince.
he turns to you, his lips pursed. "your highness."
"your highness?" you push.
"you know exactly what i'm talking about and i need you to stop it."
"why would i, your highness?" of course, you know what he's talking about. he was crying about it the last time you saw each other. his name.
"because, because, because," he pushes himself off the railing, fully turning his body to you. "i want you to call me by my name."
"i won't, your highness." it's a statement. you won't budge. you won't.
"but why? i need you to say my name." his shoulders fall as he looks at you. like a puppy.
"why are you so hell-bent on that? i cannot do that, your highness. it's wrong."
"it's less wrong than calling me an 'idiot' every two seconds?" that — is a good point. you won't tell him that.
"what do you think will happen if you say it, hm? there's nobody here; nobody to shame you for it and even if somebody tried – i'd protect you." the last part tugs the corners of his mouth up, nailing them there, showing off his pearly whites.
"what do you think will happen if i say it, hm?" you shoot back.
his parted lips close. "other than world peace and an end to the famine? i just get to hear it, simple as that."
he's doing it again. kind of trying to claw inside your ribcage. thankfully you're wearing armor; you won't let it happen. you can't. it's crazy, how much his sincerity irks you. and his jokes. and his smile. and his eyes. and the way he won't leave you alone. and the way he keeps bugging you about the name. you won't, though. you will not.
"i can drop the 'your highness', if that'll make you leave me alone."
"yes!" he does a little celebratory movement with his fist and the urge to punch him is back. "that's a start. we're getting somewhere now." flashing you a smirk, he leans back onto the railing.
"we're not getting anywhere, stupid."
the prince smiles to himself as you two have another moment of silence. you're both looking at the same two fish in the river, swimming in circles with each other.
while you're distracted with the river, the prince decides to take another good look at you up close. his eyes scan you from head to toe. another glance at the scar – it's deep and it's old. your eyes look a bit tired, but the prince convinces himself that the little glint in them is because of him. there's an almost healed cut in your bottom lip. there's another scar on your neck. he looks over your cuirass, wondering how heavy it is. your sword hanging from its scabbard. how heavy would that be.
"what happened?" he asks, pointing to your bandaged fingers that you keep fiddling with.
"fought a bear."
...
"what?! you can't just casually say you fought a fucking bear and then just stoically look in the distance?" he's ready to bounce off the walls, three words filling his adrenaline gauge immediately.
"nothing special about it."
it's taking you everything to hold back your laughter.
"wha— what the fuck do you mean 'it's nothing special'? you fought a bear?!"
he's unbelievably naive, actually, because does he seriously think you fought a bear and got away with some scratches on your fingers and nothing else? he's deluded. just for you.
"how big was it? was it mad? did you kill its babies? oh, i hope you didn't kill its babies, that's so bad. wait, did you kill it? why'd you fight it in the first place? c'mon, please tell me. please."
it all comes out in one breath and he looks like he's about to pass out.
"well, i was sent for it actually."
"you were sent for it?"
you hum in agreement.
"a few days after being in town, the flowershop lady sought me out with a problem of hers. the knights of the castle didn't take her seriously, that's why she had to turn to me."
the prince nods, already hooked to your story. he knows the older knights, his father's knights, can be assholes.
"she told me – a bear, like a really, really big one at that, had visited the town on a quiet night. and that it'd stolen some of the flowers from her stand."
he nods again, albeit faintly this time.
"so i went to find it. for her. took me days, the journey was rough." you sigh deeply before glancing at him, almost stopping your false little story because of his confused expression. he's cute. no, he isn't. "t'was an easy fight, though. you know how good i am with the sword. i returned with its head just yesterday. that's why you haven't seen me around."
he looks at you blankly, like a kid, who's parents are trying to convince him that santa claus is indeed real.
"i'm just fucking with you, my liege. i didn't fight a fucking bear, s—" you bite your lip to stop the word from falling from your lip and for your sake, the prince doesn't seem to notice.
"that's so not funny, you know. i really thought you went and fought a bear." he dangles from the railing, sporting a jutted out bottom lip and big doe eyes. poor boy.
you just can't stop the small smile that spreads across your face.
"you thought i fought a bear and got away with a few bandages! it's your own fault, really. you're too naive."
his own lips begin to mirror yours. "so mean. i'm just being positive, okay."
"yeah, okay."
it's a second. where it's all quiet – just you and him, looking at each other and smiling. it's weird. and so good at the same time. you don't know what to do with yourself. he bumps his shoulder into yours before leaning back down. he stays close, an inch between you and you fight the urge to pull away. you're scared. not used to this. it was just a fleeting touch and he doesn't seem that affected. (he is). your eyes flick from the river to the fish to the flowers by the water and to the sky above you. you don't know what to do with yourself.
suddenly high-pitched giggles erupt from somewhere behind you, catching your attention. three little girls in their little pastel dresses, they all have flowers behind their ears. the prince turns around and takes the world's biggest bow possible, making the girls titter once more.
"well, hello to my very favourite girls." he's wearing that sickeningly sweet smile again. he kneels down and beckons them closer. all of their eyes flick over to you and the need to step away is killing you. but as if noticing your uneasiness, the prince tugs on your hand, pulling you down with him. he sends you a reassuring smile and motions for the girls again. this time, they don't hesitate.
one of the girls reminds you of shoko. it's a bit uncanny, really. brown hair and big brown eyes. and she even stares at you the same way, just like she did when you were small; with a sense of curiosity instead of the usual distain you were used to. you try to give her a cautious smile, so afraid she'll be frightened by your sharp teeth, by the scars.
she beams.
the little girl flashes you a grin as if she's ready to compete against the sun or the young prince beside you. her little eyes shine, her little hand reaches out. "can i touch it?"
"touch it?"
"th-the scar." she nods. she's excited?
"oh."
the prince is quietly observing you from the corner of his eye while braiding one of the other girls' hair. the girls taught him that. he's very good at it, too. the third little lady is talking his ear off about the next tea-party they're having. he loves them.
"uhm, you can. yeah." clearing your throat, you lean a little closer to her. the small hand stretches out, her fingers ghost over the long bump across your eye.
"does it hurt?"
you shake your head. not anymore.
"cool." she takes a step back, still looking at you.
the prince swears there are stars in your eyes, and he's determined to make them stay there.
"do you want a flower, too?" one of the other girls asks. she has on a purple dress and she has the biggest bundle of flowers in her hands. there are reds, there are blues, yellows and pinks. it's such a colorful bouquet, you wonder where she found them all.
"i– sure."
"i think..." the prince's hand reaches for the flower, his fingertips ghosting over yours. "this..." he raises it next to your ear. "should go here. what'd you think girls?" they excitedly nod their heads. "yes! yes!"
and to top it off, he whispers a 'be good' to you.
a grumble, is what escapes your tight throat but the quiet giggles that emit from the girls help it relax. the prince's nimble hand pushes a hair behind your ear and places the flower aside it.
"would you look at that, hm?" there's a teasing lilt in there somewhere, you're sure of it. you just can't hear it right now. surely. his eyes are glued to you, making your lips purse. the heat is back, back on its way up your spine and to your neck. this is so silly.
'so pretty' is what one of the girls whispers, followed by a small 'yeah'.
your eyes flick over to them, still waiting for them to just run off but they're there. admiring the knight with the flower behind their ear alongside their prince. the heat is now clawing its way up your neck and onto your face; the warm tint on your cheeks makes the prince coo. that's enough.
standing up, you glare at the prince, who simply cannot put away his smile. switching to the girls, you merely lean over them. "run along now." it was supposed to sound harsh, demanding, but once again you're greeted with their warm smiles and giggles. they wave to their prince and they wave to you before running off.
a tug on your bandaged hand makes you jump. "are you coming to the party?" it's the mini-shoko. tugging on your arm like when you were young.
your eyebrows raise – you don't know the answer to her simple question. it should be a no, but how can you say that to her? you just want her to smile, to keep smiling.
an arms slings over your shoulder, making you glance at the hand and then at the face. he's so close like this.
"they're coming!"
"really?" her eyes have doubled in size, genuinely excited and ready for another knight to attend the party.
"i promise!" he sticks out his pinky and waits for her to do the same. they link them together with mirrored smiles before she, too, runs off. the prince turns his head and your noses almost brush together, making your eyes widen.
"it looks good."
"fuck off." shoving him off of your shoulder, you give him a firm punch against his chest, loud laughter rumbling through it. god, he's annoying.
settling back to your spot resting against the railing and closing your eyes, you take another moment to enjoy the sun. you can feel his eyes on you; it's impossible not to.
"stop staring."
"i can't."
you slightly open one of your eyes and peer at him. his leaning on the thing, cheek mushed against the palm of his hand, eyes set on you. he looks beautiful.
"why don't you wear the blindfold?"
"i don't like it."
"how come?"
"i wanna see the world."
"and you don't with it?"
"yes and no." he rubs his eyes before closing them and mirroring your pose – head turned up to the blue sky. "yes, i technically see everything and no, in a sense that i want to look at people and i want them to look at me. i want to connect with them. with the world. with you." he tilts his head toward you, peeking at you. you shy away from his gaze, scoffing under your nose.
"i heard it gives you headaches?"
"it's worth it."
he means it. you hum.
"it's gonna rain soon." you say it more to yourself than to him.
"no, it won't." he opens his eyes and stares at the clouds slowly drifting in wind above him.
"yes, it will."
"what, you a psychic all of a sudden?"
pointing behind him, you gesture to the way darker clouds now moving in the town's way.
"oh..."
idiot.
"you sure you can be outside when it happens?"
"hm?"
"i heard that little boys like you get washed away in the rain. 'm jus' looking out for you." your eyes are glued to the other side of the river in a stoic manner, whilst the prince gapes at you like the fish in the water.
"i— am not a little boy."
oh, and his voice cracks.
...
his cheeks flush but it's worth it because the next thing he hears is like the sweetest melody in the world – you laugh. you actually laugh.
"right... not a little boy but a pretty little princess instead." and you can't help it, another chuckle bubbling up your throat.
he's in awe. the sun peeks from the grey clouds and soaks you in it's golden light. his knight.
"i—..." and he can't contain his own laughter. "okay, first of all – i'd make a gorgeous princess, for all you know!"
"oh, i don't doubt that." you scoff.
the prince takes a step from the railing and spins himself around, hands outstretched holding his imagenary gown, he bends his knees and bows his head like a true princess.
"the girls have taught you well, i see." your hand rises again to hide your foreign expression; rough, scarred fingers covering the softest grin. "you really are ridiculous..."
"just for you." his voice is always so confident, like he really means it. for you. but he isn't. he isn't for you – you seem to be forgetting that. mistakes like that tend to get punished.
he does another twirl but his feet can't keep up with him and he stumbles backward, a moment away from falling when cold fingers wrap around his wrist, steadying him.
"i don't understand how you're so good with a sword when you can't even stand up without the danger of cracking your skull open."
"you think i'm good with the sword?" he beams.
"that's not— that's... i mean, you're good for a person, who has been training for the most of his life, yeah."
it's the best compliment; you trying to conceal it under some fake little comment won't stop him from him writing it down in his little journal later.
his wrist is still caught in your palm and he doesn't plan on letting you go – swiveling his hand to properly grasp onto yours. it doesn't burn. with a smile he pulls you down the small hill, down toward the river.
"hey!"
your little complaint falls onto his deaf ears; he's determined to keep you with him. forever and ever.
the dark figure staring at you from the distance is hidden by the sound of the prince's addicting laughter. you've let yourself go for a minute and you're about to be punished for it. are you ready?
he drags you right to the calm stream, never letting go of your hand. it feels right. your hand in his. he bends down, you with him, to see what he's up to - only to be splashed right in the face.
"wha— you little fuck."
giggles emit from his throat as he takes a step back, watching you dip your hands into the water. "come here, boy."
it's so easy to forget with him. to forget everything. that you're not supposed to be acting like this. playing like children. especially with the prince. you're not supposed to be laughing. having fun. you're not supposed to.
you splash him back, child-like laughter falling from your lips with ease. it's your fault.
this little chase goes on for a couple of minutes before the prince takes another stumble, bringing you down onto the grassy bed with a thud!
this time – your noses really do bump together, an immediate flush spreading across your face. your armor is heavy on his chest but he doesn't mind. doesn't mind when it comes to you. when you try to get up, his fingers latch onto the metal, gently pressing down on your waist.
his blue eyes gaze up at you but you don't really know what is it that swims in them. you're not acquainted with stuff like this. you don't know what the fuck this man is thinking about right now, but you do know that this is inappropriate. you shouldn't be doing this.
"this is stupid." you try to push yourself up again.
"stay."
you glare at him, gauging the meaning behind his word. is he joking?
"stay." he whispers.
your eyes flick down to his lips. his flick down to yours.
his heart jumps in his chest when you don't push away a third time. he does sense a small scolding ahead though. and he's right because your lips part, curving just the right way—
he knows what you're about to say. what you're gonna start your sentence with. it's coming. he can almost hear it. the smooth 's' on the tip of your tongue—
"boy!"
...
your eyes widen and your lips sow themselves shut in the blink of an eye, forcing the prince watch you swallow his name; push it deep down – as far as it could possibly go. never to be seen again. the weight of your armor lifts from his chest, but another kind remains heavy on his heart.
"boy!" the same voice calls. the prince doesn't need to look to know, who it is. a big figure looms over the two of you, ontop the very hill you spent the last thirty minutes on. even though the man's voice is directed at the prince, his eyes are set on you. scrambling to your feet, your head falls into a shameful bow before the king's guard.
how dare you?
it takes no time to close the distance between him and you. the sheer size of the man hides the prince behind him. from you.
the prince's mouth opens – ready to defend his knigh—
a slap!
the man's back of the hand meets your cheek, jolting you, awakening some well-hidden memories deep in your body. your eyes shoot up to face your foe. you know this man. his eyes are cold; cold as the sudden autumn wind, a wind you know will give you a fever and nail you to your bed. your cheek throbs – a dark pink pool of shame; pure shame and digust of oneself.
"a thieving child dressed as a warrior? hah, this isn't the time to play house."
how dare you?
a sharp intake of breath and the prince is hurling towards you but a strong hand keeps him in place.
"don't." suguru. his arm drapes over the prince's chest, holding him back.
slap!
on the same side. the pink tint rapidly turning into a deep red one.
how dare you?
the prince thrashes in suguru's grasp. a raindrop falls onto his forehead, dripping down by his eyebrow, hiding his already watery eyes – 'a sensitive boy' his mother always said.
the heavy brash rain washes away the light that had been shining in your eyes, turning them back into a pair off dull ones; the beating heart behind your ribs rattling in its cage. stupid.
"never did have any respect for your superiors, did ya? you oughta kneel before your prince. and beg for his forgivess."
"no!" the prince barks.
a tch!
his heavy fist lands against your worn back, stumbling you forward. he doesn't need to tell you twice. you don't wanna hear it twice. with a throbbing red cheek you step before the prince and slowly fall down to your knee, into the mud. where you belong. you reach for the prince's hand, raising it to your face.
"forgive me, my prince."
after what seemed like entirnity, your eyes meet. it's not you. it can't be. chapped lips graze the back of his hand, trembling in your hold while you keep your cold gaze on him. the flower behind your ear has wilted, laying limp, just about ready to fall and sink deep into the ground.
the knife in his chest turns and he can't breathe. another tear brimms in his eye, spilling over the plump of his cheek and blending together with the rain soaking his shirt. it hurts.
"why don't you accompany the prince inside, his father is expecting him." the man orders the dark haired knight.
suguru doesn't look any better than the two of you; his lips indefinitely turned downward, guilt seeping from the hands holding his best friend. he knows he can't do anything for you and he's sure you know it too, it doesn't take away the god awful feeling, though. he feels the prince turning more into a puddle by the second, his grasp on him faltering.
he tugs him a step back, the prince's hand slipping from yours.
"please."
it's only for your ears, yet you don't know what he's asking for. you stand with a head held up high, the cold raindrops easing the burning in your cheek (but not in your chest). you watch them saunter away, watch the prince glance behind him exactly three times. three times too much because he just doesn't get it. he doesn't understand that this is it.
this won't happen again; it cannot happen again. he's just a boy — a boy, who wants to play house, knowing there won't be a punishment for his fun. a mere slap against his fingers that he'll respond to with a frown but nothing more. but a knight? playing house? it's absurd, laughable even. it is disgraceful.
who do you think you are?
who are you to touch the prince with your dirty hand? who are you to stain him with your tainted touch? how dare you muddy their little doll? their precious prince? you're some foul creature seen on the street; an agressive dog, ready to chew up the prince. he's not for you to touch, to have — he's theirs. he is everything and you are nothing.
and in the end — you're not even a real knight.
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