#but i am also so very loved
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Beneath August's spotlight, but with each breath, I am comparing the month's heat to your gaze, to what it is like to be under you(r eyes).
Deep in my heart's ocean, I do not understand what love is, unless you call it obsession, desire, want. And it is patient, yes, and how it fractures me-- to love is to give everything to you (mind, heart, soul).
—Kali
#mind full of flow#poetry#poets on tumblr#spilled ink#literature#the evening of the 27th revolution and like every year since i was 12#i cried on this birthday too#cried while having breakfast in the calm of an august morning#cried while thinking of the past#cried while thinking about whether or not i've grown. i've changed.#or am i still rich with folly? and heartache yes.#but i am also so very loved#immeasurably loved#i didn't know it could be like this#that someone could think of me so sweetly#that someone could give me what i dream of#several in fact#and what do i desire? to be understood. as much as any person can be when what we know best. is ourselves.#and i'm generous in return#see me for who i am and i'll give you the cosmos#and i do#moving heaven is nothing for someone who loves you#i love you.
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Something something 16yo 2k12 Mikey gets sucked into a portal and sent into the RISE universe and ends up helping raise the RISE kiddos AU
#my art#rottmnt#tmnt#rise of the tmnt#rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles#rottmnt leo#rottmnt mikey#rottmnt donnie#rottmnt raph#tmnt mikey#tmnt 2012#rottmnt splinter#it keeps us dancing au#do i wanna talk about this au#i LOVE the idea that the reason why the rise boys are so funny and jovial and kind#is because 2k12 mikey had a hand in raising them#he kicks splinters butt into being a better parent#and also gives the boys a parental/big brother figure to look up to#and care for them#2k12 mikey would ADORE these babies so much#*holds your hands* listen to me very carefully#he would LOVE on these kiddos so much#and they would ADORE 2k12 mikey back#ohhh the fics i want to write#as soon as i have time its over for you all i am OBSESSED with this idea#they would call him TEE in this too#because i dont think 2k12 mikey would wanna be called mikey#since theres ALREADY a mikey here#and something something shouldnt mess with the different dimensions yada yada#IKUD AU
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" I noticed that you've been smiling more, Lucanis. "
" ...Have I? ...Si, I suppose I have been. "
#lucanis dellamorte#VERY happy w how this turned out#lucanis#dragon age veilguard#dragon age#the idea is that rook and lucanis went on a gondola ride in treviso and both of them are awful at steering it + it tipped over#but the two just look at each other and start laughing like heck#that being said feel free to read this as lucanis w other characters hehe i am 100% for lucanis being happy however way#lucanis x rook#ibon draws#artists on tumblr#the brainworms bc Lucanis is above water but also okay w being in the seawater after a year in the ossuary... i care him sm#veilguard spoilers#id in alt text#chat i love him i'm so cooked. spotify play thats amore#rookanis
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tsum events really are just the best, huh
#art#twisted wonderland#twisted wonderland spoilers#tsumsted wonderland#to be fair this is from mal's card story so it's more...event-adjacent#i-it still counts right#poor malleus tsum is having such a time#first it blows up the kitchen and then it almost gets spin-cycle'd to tsum-death#the poor little guy just wanted to help with the party! it was trying its BEST 😭#and instead it accidentally recreated every other tuesday from my college days#i am so genuinely delighted to read two entire chapters of malleus bragging about knowing how to use household appliances#(he knows what he's doing! he READ the MANUAL)#(you know that manual has copious notes covering the margins in perfect copperplate)#and the callback to his dorm ssr story. perfect.#we all knew this was going to end in malleus punching a washing machine into smithereens#i'm disappointed that the next part is probably just going to be a fun party or whatever#and not malleus showing off how close he is to finally mastering the toaster#twst please where is my spinoff game where we have to help a dragon fae prince learn how to do household tasks#i have an indescribable need to see malleus attempt to use a vacuum#he is very enthusiastic and also very stupid and we love him for it
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corvidae
#my art#jujutsu kaisen#jjk#jjk fanart#jujutsu kaisen fanart#yuji itadori#itadori yuuji#blood/#yuuji#im not tagging this as spoilers idc sue me . iykyk but i dont think it's obvious enough at all 2 warrant the tag#idrk what this is sorry ive been having a hard time drawing n feeling inspired lately :'>>> so it goes#i find i tend to default to drawing birds when that happens ???#did it with gojo did it with shiro and now it's yuuji's turn ig#sometimes it's helpful to just . mess around with a whole bunch of brushes until something looks ok#and birds and feathers lean soooo well 2 playing around w brushes theyre very forgiving#flowers also kind of so i threw in some camellias bc i figured why not add More Red#i think they mean something that's probably relevant but i was more looking fr the shape of the petals#th rounded tops blend rly seamlessly with the way i rendered th feathers so i am like!!!! nice#just checked also apparently red camellias just mean love and devotion lmao should have guessed#'perishing with grace' also hm hm hm that's kind of wild with th crows#anyway i didn't put too much thought in2 this one so i won't talk fr ages about the symbolism it's all pretty much right there#anyway ty fr being patient with me im sorry draws have been slow :<#ill come out of it ill bounce back!
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...Turns out gay sex actually was the solution.
(This is basically a redraw, come read the real deal over at Tiger Tiger)
#tiger tiger#jamis arlesi#arno#I like to think Arno meant that as an inside thought but it came out as an outside thought. He's rolling with it though.#He did cause a Catastrophic Yaoi event though.#Jamis my beloved. You have the heart of a maiden. The body of an Ox. The brain of a loyal dog.#This is a guy who's okay being attracted to another man but *NOT* aware he's in love or that he's bisexual.#We love him for this. My god. This man is crafted so perfectly. I need you all to at least give Tigers a chance for *him*.#I'm tricking you a little bit because you will actually also fall for Ludo and Luck and Remy and Honeyfoot and-#okay you get the point. There are so many amazing characters in this comic.#I just.. my joke comic of 'gay sex is the solution' feels so ominous now knowing a few weeks later that was going to be canon.#I feel like a jester and a prophet. I don't know if I should tell anymore jokes in fear of what I may predict.#I am putting my hands together for Ludo to get a good smooch in with [redacted] in dragon form.#Also predicting something very spooky is going to go down with the diving bell. We shall see!
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The idikeiers yearn for styx
#rassfanart#fanart#twst#twisted wonderland#idikei#idia shroud#cater diamond#I love working with screentones so BAD but that's hard to do on csp. Sighs...#I THINK IT CAME OUT PRETTY THOUGH !!#Also the second image is a redraw of a past idikei I drew and shared on here if you caught that <3#I have no new ideas guys I am very samey samey OTZ
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does anyone realize how crazy it is to have the actor of a mostly headcanoned queer ship say the fans were never crazy and they were right all along after 10+ years of everyone just absolutely going nuts over the said queerbaited ship
#supernatural#dean winchester#spn#destiel#castiel#deancas#misha collins#im 20 i have been Experiencing supernatural and johnlock since i was 12 and merthur since wayy before that i have fought Wars#this is crazy#i love u hannibal i love u 911 (if u make eddie gay)#for the love of god by 'mostly headcanoned' i dont mean that it was never intentional#i am aware that they put the subtext in on purpose#they knew what they were doing#but my focus here is on the actor actually saying it because like#if its not mostly headcanoned then y was the entire cast denying it for years AND YEARS#like do yall not remember what jared and jenesn used to say#there have been many many many instances where the cast has made us feel crazy/stupid for saying anything abt destiel#im just saying TO ME its crazy that actors and creators talk so openly about these things now !!! again i was raised on merlin and sherlock#ok also im confused on the queerbaiting part#everyones saying its queer coding and not queer baiting but cant they be true at the same time ?#im not being dumb on purpose i swear im just confused#like yes dean is very much bi coded and their relationship is queer coded but if the creators deny everything#and we only get a last minute confession after 11 years#that doesnt count as queer baiting ?#someone smart explain this to me 🙏
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figure skating set right now please. thanks
#project sekai#pjsk#prsk#emu otori#proseka#tsukasa tenma#nene kusanagi#rui kamishiro#wxs#wonderlands x showtime#GUYS I AM PUTTING OFF WORKING ON MY COSPLAY SOMETHING STUPID. im tireddddd i like sleeepingggff i want to play and drawwwww#after work I literally ate a giant bowl of mac n cheese and climbed into bed. lifestyle choices of a 9 year old#anyways i want figure skaitng set. bad. PJSK HAS A WEIRDLY LOW NUMBER OF ACTUALLY WINTERY SETS... like 3. kind of.#i have some thumbnail sketches but im kind of stumped on composition for them. my idea was a nene focus set#(IF HER NEXT FOCUS ISNT PHANTOM OF THE OPERA THEMED INWILL DIE. BADLY. THEYRE GOING TO AN OPER AHOUSE. PLEADBR)#originally my idea was for nene to be biting a medal i was very sold on it bc i love nenes competitive side#however her outfit is so nice i want it to also be part of the art .. its heavily inspired by that one iconic eunsoo lim dress#from her somewhere in time program iirc. im really undatisfied with emus dress tbh my origimal idea was to give it a phoenix look#but a lot of the firebird/phoenix skating programs have very sleek dresses and i want emus to be fluffy. the balance is hard ..#and since i want her program song to be once upon a dream from sleeping beauty i swerved to make it look a bit like auroras ? but again#it definitely feels like the weakest of everybodys ... maybe i just love her too much and want her to look the best. sorry wxs.#tsukasas outfit is supposed to look like a shooting star. easy. program music moonlight sonata 3rd movement like from dazzling light. easy.#actually i like takahashi daisukes moonlight sonata program its a medley of the 1st and 3rd movement.. i think the calm at the beginning#is best. maybe smth like that.. for his card inhad him doing a haircutter spin but again. the outfits good i want the outfit visible. damn.#ruis the one im very set on even now. girl why are you so phantom of the opera.#it has a lot of beautiful programs to reference but the outfit i didnt really have any solid reference i kind of just balled#my main idea was to make it look a bit like both christine and the phantom.... gender Fluid.#my yapfest... i should be SEWING!!!!!!!!#despite my yapping im not that well versed in figure skating i cant really distinguish jumps i just like it . and medalist#i only do normal skating. bc i played hockey for like 7 years LOLLLL inlove skating though Heart.
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what could go wrong
bonus:
#bg3#baldur's gate 3#durge#halsin#durgesin#orin the red#i got very attached to orin while making the bhaalgown and now i'm a bit in love with her#i am acting president of the orin redemption club#she needs a hobby and some edibles and she'll be grand#also rip halsin#i feel like they don't actually live together so ashe has to be like#'don't come over for a few days i have to scrub all this blood out of the basement also she keeps biting'#oh also anyone else who has a violin bard. if you need fun pose refs go to lindsey stirling
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the more I play the more I think lucanis basically knows it's illario who betrayed him right from the beginning (he's had a year in the ossuary to think. not that many people knew where he was going. when you ask him 'did Illario know you'd be on that ship' his only answer is the hardest flattest 'yes' you ever heard). so it's not so much about figuring out who the traitor is (because that's ludicrous. we all know. immediately. they didn't really bother to hide it lmao) as about methodically closing off every single avenue of denial lucanis has clung to that whole time with as much or little gentleness as you might prefer until he has no choice but to admit it. because the moment he has to admit it, he'll have to do something -- feel something -- about it. and that's such a catastrophic event in lucanis' inner landscape (he has had TWO people in this whole entire world up until now and will do anything to hold on to them with a heartbreaking child-like desperation, even at and especially through the detriment of his own self) that he'd rather just. not. what if we quite simply. didn't. what if we just stayed here in the emptiness where we can both pretend you didn't hurt me in a way I should never forgive. I have so much practice in that with caterina already it's always worked out great for everyone so far. (press x to fucking doubt but that's trauma logic for you lol)
after everything illario did, so much of the storm of lucanis' emotions around it is 'what the FUCK did you get yourself tangled up in this time and how do I get you out of this mess safely'. what's worse: the fact that your brother murdered you, or that he put himself in horrible danger doing so and thus exposed you to the risk of losing him forever. lucanis' heart certainly has an opinion here and it's fucking unhinged (affectionate)
the themes of dissociation in lucanis' character in general makes me feel nuts. allllll these contradictory messy things he needs to cut off from each other because they can't coexist or be easily reconciled inside him. but all remain stubbornly true separately anyway and will have their due one day. love and resentment. tenderness and fear and rage. terror and longing. love and freedom don't coexist. the burned out golden child anthem is playing in the background. he was always caterina's favourite and he has to keep striving to deserve that dubious honour with every breath he takes and then, presumably, mercifully, some day he will die and be excused and can rest. and until now he's suppressed all the -- natural, healthy, protective! -- negative feelings that threaten the few attachment relationships he actually has, at the cost of ever actually having his needs for connection and safety met and leaving his core self imprisoned and compromised. and spite goes 'what. no. that's dumb fuck that' (*spite voice* I do not understand that and even if I did I would not respect it) and does not allow him to fall back into that, which I think is what saves his life, ultimately. it took being possessed by a demon for lucanis to even contemplate telling anyone he loves 'no' in any way, but hey. whatever gets you there right lol
lucanis is dealing with the freeze response allll the way down baby. and he was even before the ossuary, that just turbo powered it and brought it to a breaking point way before it could happen naturally. but something was going to break eventually no matter what, and I'm just glad that in the end, through the power of friendship and also pure spite, it doesn't have to be him
#I am worried about him all the time. but also: his found family of godslaying maniacs and also the power of love. there are reasons to hope#when there was only one set of footprints in the sand that was the veilguard party holding lucanis in their arms#and going 'excuse you he said no FUCKING pickles!!!' while he's like '🥺should you guys really be -- ' 'YES'#dragon age#dragon age: the veilguard#dragon age: the veilguard spoilers#dragon age spoilers#lucanis dellamorte#dragon age meta#there's some messiness to his arc but what mary kirby managed to capture here about how this works. is everything to me#he is so exactly for me. I'm sorry for all the people he turned out not to be for. but not for him being for me#the gift of looking at him and hearing 'you're more than what you're going through' and be forced to annoyedly go 'okay#MAYBE that could be also be true for me. maybe.' he's going through it. and also so much more and the funniest person in the world#he's so worth it to still have in the world!!!!#I'm so glad we don't get to 'fix' his relationship with his family and especially caterina actually#that is stuff that would need to happen on a time scale waaay outside of the one in this game#and there's Something very real in having to go 'this is not for me to decide for you. who you love and what you do about it is yours'
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part 3 to my modern AU 💞🍺 (part 1 / part 2)
#u just know seb ended up carrying her home in the end anyway BAHHA if u read my fic u already know im weak for bridal carries#fun fact the blurred party backgrounds i used are screenshots from diary of a wimpy kid rodrick rules. aka the pinnacle of cinema#and its only fitting since i base my modern seb very largely on rodrick bc I STILL HAVE A CRUSH ON RODRICK...rodrick heffley my beloved#yall also already know i love guard dog seb (especially combined with drunk clora BAHAH) so ofc i had to do the modern au ver#i just make clora the type of drunk i am... aka drunk after 2 and sometimes even 1 drink and then i get super affectionate with everyone#which would make seb seethe if it were clora BAHAHAH omg i love imagining his suffering😇😍😍#hogwarts legacy#sebastian sallow#sebastian sallow x oc#sebastian sallow x mc#sebastian x mc#clora clemons#also wahhh i can feel my HL brainrot fading a bit...🥲probs bc my fic is now complete... might make a post abt it soon#im not ready to let go😭😤#choccyart
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What about side by side with a friend?
#I love their dynamic so much#Also yes I am pro dark-haired legolas hehe#very much inspired by yabusame for his design#I still have to work on gimli tho. will def change some things next time I draw him#legolas#gimli#lord of the rings#lotr#tolkien#art#my art#artists on tumblr#illustration#artwork
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i love your riddle design so much, he's so pointy and british. so gracious. do you think he would enjoy a brazilian goiabada
thank you! ❤️🖤❤️ it's just. important to me on a level I can't explain that Riddle have an extremely pointy nose that he can stick into everyone else's business.
also goiabada is sweet and fruity and red, I think he would like it very much indeed!
not me stealth-editing because I forgot his antenna whoops
#art#twisted wonderland#me: riddle's nose is important to me (draws him without a nose)#a study in contrasts?#regardless it is my power as a fanartist to let riddle eat sweets and by god i'm going to use it#i also love british riddle. briddle. it's just RIGHT.#i think about how someday the anime will come out and get dubbed and riddle is going to have Generic Anime Boy Voice#instead of the most over-the-top prim little benedict cumberbatch accent like he does in my HEART#and the world shall be poorer for it. alas.#i also think it would be VERY funny if malleus had a super exaggerated french accent because something something french fairytale#i am probably alone in this however#(sorry still trying to catch up on everything!)#(all of my focus has been going towards Deadlines so hopefully i will have space to think...eventually :')#(i still have some main story things cookin' and i JUST finished tsumsted 3: the squeakquel so uhhh)#(there may be a bit of a flood at some point. you've been warned.)
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some quick jjk eye paintings
#my art#jujutsu kaisen#jjk#megumi fushiguro#yuji itadori#nobara kugisaki#yuta okkotsu#gojo satoru#geto suguru#ryoumen sukuna#fanart#jjk fanart#tagging everyone feels like it took longer than the actual painting my god#i believe ive gone on record waxing poetic about how i love lower eyelids and how i could paint them fr hours#so i put my money where my mouth is and thats what i did today . self care :)#i had a cool idea fr gojo where i wanted to do like an abberated effect to show 2 extra sets of eyes#but god it looked cluttered and awful no matter what layer mode i put it on sdgdgjsdg#settled fr chromatic abberation on th irises :')#quickish painting but i am ! happy !#very proud also of the different eye shapes i ws able to achieve while keeping them consistently sized#was worried abt geto there fr a sec#but tbh he turned out to be one of my favs ????? surprised myself#anyway this is my love letter to eye skin <3 i love u lower eyelid folds mwah <3
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In the world of heavy metals, love is denser than hate!
#Poorly drawn SVSSS#SVSSS#luo bingge#luo binghe#ask#Is that right? Two different character tags? I think that is right.#I'm calling myself out with screenshotting the asks with the dates because my full ask box has become a problem I'm determined to solve.#I promise you that if I did not respond to your ask it was because I 1) *really* wanted to hold on to it to make a doodle reply#or 2) really was so touched by the message and got overwhelmed#So expect many year + old asks suddenly gaining a reappearance! I'm going to get to them ALL.#Back to Luo Binghe (both versions). You see...the substance he is made with has a chemical reaction to affection.#Like how a pokemon has multiple paths to evolution depending on it's friendship points or exposure to random stones#so to does he evolve into various forms. I feel like Bingge (Ht) would be a noble gas. Unable to form bonds#I could also see him as a Halogen-type of element! Highly reactive and only truly found in manufactured environments.#And Binghe (Lv) would be an alkaline earth metal (+2). Sturdy. Forms bond better but not freely giving them away.#this is the second time I've related characters to elements - and I am far less familar with Scum Villian so please feel free to chime in.#I could be way off base here and I am very down for someone to talk chemistry and character themes.#Thank you all for the love you have given my silly little LBH. It means a lot to me B*)#Don't...don't look too hard at the lack of mark on his forehead here. I gave up. It's just...hidden behind his bangs.
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