#but i also miss like. rping but
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sighs I wish I could write
#i want... to have written content for my guys#but writing takes literally so much more brain power than i have and certainly more than drawing does for me#but i also miss like. rping but#rping with new people stresses me out and the people i used to rp w dont really rp anymore or its otherwise hard to keep a thread going ):#newt ooc#and i cant think of things worth writing about most of my ocs anyway
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UPDATE: A REASON FOR MY ABSENCE, A BRIEF SUMMARY Normally I don't make posts about my life but I think I need to give an update to all the peeps out there about my random absences. I don't talk about my life a lot due to the amount of dysfunction and heartache that goes on behind the scenes that drain my will to be creative, to interact with everyone, to even live. It's like every year that goes on, there was something in the background that disrupted my life and mental state further.
First and foremost I've grown up a parentified child taking on responsibilities not mine to bear with no say in the matter. Being forced to give up my own childhood for my own parent's selfish decisions. Then I moved away from my mother's to my father's. Which wasn't even better from 2014-2019 living with him was very terrifying due to his anger issues and violence whenever I didn't do things his way. He had this expectation for me to go to college full time while working full time and expected me to pay for my own college and pay him rent. When I stopped going to school to focus on working, he would verbally and sometimes physically hurt me. I had lost a severe amount of weight due to the stress and decided to move back in with my mother in 2019.
Fast forward 2021 my father died of cancer and my mom is in a custody battle with one of her many baby daddies and looked to me for financial support since she hadn't worked in nearly a decade. I had started a new job around that time but my mental health was drained at that point.
Now in 2024 my mother has decided to bring my elderly and sick grandmother into the household where we don't have a lot of resources and we really aren't equipped to give her proper care. But now the table has turned where she has finally got a new job a month ago and I am not working currently. She decided to dump the task of taking care of a confused, incontinent, elderly grandmother onto. Even though my own mother never had anything good to say about her own mother and I don't have great experiences with my grandma either. But we have to take care of her because "we're family." Gimme a break.
So right now I'm a bit pissed, sad, tired, and a myriad of other unpleasant emotions. If you ever want to know why Koji is gone all the time. Here is your answer. Family life bullshit.
But not to worry, I've been working on trying to get myself out of this hole I've seemed to find myself in again. Because I do want to interact with all my new followers and old ones. It's just that I've been recovering from deep wounds.
#ooc#& the stoic facade shattered (ooc)#{To everyone wondering where my ass has gone this time. The explanation for my random comings and goings.}#{I don't take random hiatuses to be malicious or lazy but for health reasons}#{Also my mom is a hoarder and the only time the house is clean is if I clean it. living in chaos constantly has worn me down}#{I honestly feel like my muse so much since our lives seem to have been nothing but tragedy and heartache. Such fucking loneliness.}#{Roleplaying has been a small reprieve from the nightmare that is my family}#{Sorry for the rant but yeah this is D-mun y'all}#{I've been trying to get back into rping cause I miss you guys but life is hard sometimes.}
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On September 25th, before I fixed the time and date on my 2DS XL system, I found out that the offline mode still works in Miiverse.
Nintendo may have took away the service, but I've found a loophole!
And then I made a few more offline posts with the correct time and date
Yes I went by as "Joker_Girl" when I used Miiverse back in like 2017-2018(?) and no I'm not changing my Mii's name
#nintendo#miiverse#rip miiverse#fan art#art stuff#kirby#mario#art on Miiverse#Nintendo 2ds xl#love how there's still a spoilers option in offline mode#like who am i gonna spoil the post for??? my future self????#also i miss rping/making fan comics with other gamers in Miiverse#kinda wanna do it again at some point
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holding onto the same ocs for years and years changing up their lore and everything with time is always wild. theres Secret Lore nobody i talk to knows about.
#this js about Dennis my cringe fail of a guy#I made him. when i was like. 12-13#for.. RPs...#it was fun rping as him but also looking back at how he used to be its like#He would NOT fucking say that#bro used to be flirtatious HES NOT LIKE THAT ANYMORE HE SUCKS he gets no bitches whatsoever oh my god he used to have like. a bf#that my old friend owned. i miss shipping ocs with other's it was so fun 😭😭😭#i miss said friend we drifted away from eachother not on bad terms or anything just. lack of communication?#if u ever read this which i know you wont but ur just apart of my soul forever ok thanks#hm i changed the topic#anyways i hate denny he sucks. nobody can fix him
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/ I've noticed that at this point I'm not even writing on any blog anymore, I just come and yell about some blorbo and leave. Rinse and repeat my lieges
#;ooc#ooc#me: -sleeps-#also me: -SUDDENLY JOLTS BACK AWAKE- I haven't expressed my love for x in some time#/usually i would feel pretty guilty about this! but lately i've been zoning out in the sense of just vibing#/im not dropping writting; im just doing something else ! when i feel the inspiration i'll drop by#would like that to come soon; i do miss writting hehe#the power a blorbo can have on a person can be a very profound and moving energy truly-#recently one of my 8376733 m.octezuma fanarts got reblobbed from some artists from aaaall across to japan and#it made me feel so giddy like!!!! no way you also like this one character that isnt even on the game!?#i haven't seen other artists being obsessed over him! he's kind of forgotten in the lb cast; it was so fun reblobbing each other's posts!#we may have a language barrier but we all love m.octe and i find that to be a lil heartwarming moment#it made me thonk;; there are so many ways to bond with people; of connecting in general#even without speaking to someone directly; there is a bond there#like i knew this existed; but experiencing it again makes u go like waow! im not alone ! not in at least one (1) way!#that there are other people out there in this big big world that would enthusiastically talk to you about the same fictional character you-#like; with a lot of love and interest#i've seen people making their own t.ezca and d.aybit plushies and putting them in cute lil clothes#or people posting about museums they got interested on visiting bc they've done a collab with f.go#its all very cute to me#its like the same energy i saw from this tktk where two girls randomly met on the street#and saw that they both had the same ita bag and they got all happy and started laughing together#or that time i was selling my stickers and someone came in and said how glad they were to find h.ypmic stuff!#if hy.pmic is quite niche nowadays; its even more from where i live!#or how excited i get if i meet someone who also plays id.v#its all a cycle of fangirling; pure joy; connections are so important!#important to know that whatever you are facing; that no matter how 'weird' you think you might be; there are a lot of people out there that#are like you and me; and its also why i like roleplaying#its like we all pull our blorbos and talk about them and get excited about it all like dolls#the sweet thing about rping is precisely the part where u connect with others
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I am kissing u all on the forehead
#i have an internal desire 2 chat but unfortunately my internal desire 2 not put effort into anything is winning#no chats no vibes i am lying here staring into space#watching something is 2 much work socializing makes me exhausted this has been a rough week#its very easy for me 2 make little jokey jokes but multiple days in a row of missing breaks or taking them late#and being overworked bc my department depends on me has been#its been difficult#and mentally i am just. im so exhausted#also w rooster teeth closing even tho i havent been big in the fandom for a while its just kinda heavy#i also. i am feeling. i dont know if tumblr rp is all that it used to be for me#i adore the muses i adore the writing i adore my partners#theres just. theres something somewhere being a road block i just dont know what#i dont know if its just life being a lot so im struggling to keep up or if it's just like. im outgrowing it or its outgrowing me#i fell in love w rping bc of the community but i fear these days its. it doesnt Feel like a community anymore#some people do and are trying and it means the world but there is an overwhelming loneliness on this site these days#idk if thats just me or what#and i understand the harsh circle of not being here means no attention means not being here#but just. idk. idk what i am trying to say idk what the vibes r this post like my life is a mess w no coherent outcomes
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guys i miss gen v
#like i’m aware absolutely nothing is stopping me from rping in that universe I just UGH. I miss it.#♡ — bambi speaking / ooc.#also vdosed was such an iconic url why lie
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::lays on the floor:: it's been so long since a silent hill game that I've forgotten how... gatekeep-y people are about the series, especially about sh2.
#leech texts#theres a reason i write fic for the series but dont often read it...#and i do miss rping as Lisa but also dont at the same time#luckily the ppl i follow who like silent hill have been mostly chill#anyways the remake is amazing the remaster was convenient and the original is a classic#also help the enemies are smart now hhhhh
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isabeau rp account.... but i mustnt!! i shant!!! but//....
#i miss rping online with strangers#emphasis on the 'strangers' part bc i do have an entire rp discord w/ friends#but its no longer with strangers like it was nearly 5 years ago.#because we're friends. now.#for now ill watch these three folks have fun#and continue ruminating on it.#also idk if id trust myself to write him well. even if hes literally Just Like Me but to the left a bit.
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finally got my hands on bg3 and its so good but oh my god i feel like i unlock a new quest every five seconds
#personal#every day i breathe air and every time i breathe air someone asks me a new favor#also this is making me miss dnd so bad#rping as a stupid elf makes me miss rp'ing as a different stupid elf (pizazz)#my tav concept is like....... stupid sheltered noble half-elf#her mom kept her locked up at home and her dad is unknown#grows up on bards tales and books nad sneaks out one day to go on an Advneture#and gets kidnapped by the ship like two weeks in GLKHSDLKHGD#bg3 stuff
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whoever's still hanging here, what's up?
#i'm questionably alive myself thanks.#i'm gonna be archiving here and likely merlin to start fresh. it's been too long.#i missed writing for fun and not for work and i missed you guys. and i missed my kids.#to be honest i had a difficult time. i've been sick most of the october and spent a bunch of time in the hospital.#and other than that it's been work and family and this course i started.#i honestly have no clue what's been happening on this site i wasn't even lurking.#that's why i think starting fresh is best.#but i super hope y'all are healthy and happy.#i will post new blogs as soon as i get everything in order.#as long as i even remember how to use this site for rping gbhfeds. it's been so long.#also the p*rn bot spam is horrendous. i had to block so many after my absence.
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bored. miss roleplaying
#sam if you see this. I'm eyeing our fo4 thread that you opened and then. I never replied#dany.txt#not sure if I miss fandom rps or original ones. but idk I don't wanna go back to gr for it#and tumblr rping seems like an actual nightmare#not only the weird formats but also the types of genres and plots ppl like#and ig discord rping is a thing now but idk anything about it
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//everyday i stare at my blog wondering if today is the day spoiler alert, it is not
#i miSS rping sm#i also miss yall#but goddamn katsuki isn't working with me#it doesnt help that my brain has been rotting over gen.s.hin#·∴∵✷ [ ooc ]#also tu.mblr keeps chanGING and i dont like it aoweinawe#im a taurus pls spare me from constant change
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#outofinput;#-hi i live kinda but i need to see if my old gaming laptop has my icons-#-bc my old pc kinda died a bit ago and couldn't even backup my files-#-rip-#-okay my onedrive has like 44 of my over 4k icons so yeah cries-#-idek who even lives anymore haven't touched tumblr rp scene in ages-#-last blog i was semi-active on was my mafuyu blog-#-which lowkey miss rping my floof son but also need to find those icons too-#tbd;
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CARRD IS COMPLETE!!!
#++|| OOC#its missing her Comprehensive Bio#but like i literally never wrote one for sigma...ever.... so im sure nobody minds#also dont make fun of me for politely telling ppl to be nice to me LOL#playing sym in game makes me actually super miserable#so just try to keep the sym hate exclusively ic or just dont follow me lol#legit have had ppl tell me to kms just for PLAYING THE CHARACTER IN GAME#idk how id feel if ppl just up n bullied me for rping her too ;-;
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also with that being said i am officially done with hints for the puzzle (everything you need is already out!) so it’s back to my regular posting with weird concerning tags that don’t actually have a deeper meaning to them!
thank you for everyone who participated and indulged in my silly little shenanigans :) im very proud of everyone who participated whether publicly or privately (u know who u are ehe) and i really hope you’ll enjoy how it all ties together and what i have planned for twtt when it eventually comes to light ❤️⏳💜
#this won’t be the last puzzle ill hold! but the next one won’t be for a while#there’s also still some stuff to be found! but none of it is on this blog and the Big Payoff was bow’s tumblr ehe#im surprised nobody ever mentioned the real name of the .mp3 file! i was being a little silly but i thought someone would be like ‘HUH’#<- (it’s not cut the strings)#ill probably keep the timmy blog active for a few more days#im actually pretty averse to rping but this has actually been pretty fun#and well there’s definitely lore to be had… it might even be going over your head 😮#i will say though lying about his missing friend is very cruel sjsldjskd#but yes this was very fun!! im surprised it lasted so long considering i made it all pretty much in one sitting (about an hour and a half)#thank you again for participating!!!#it was really cool to see the dedication!!!#also stop downloading files from strangers on the internet!! that could’ve been a .zip bomb for all you know!!!#<- said sternly and affectionately like a parent!#the twtt puzzle incident 2023 (colorized)#also forgot to say but the art that came out of it was wonderful ehe#02:19 puppet kid… might have to make my own thing based off of it
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