#but i also know getting a new job wont fix the problem | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

akitokihojo · 3 years ago

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Monster - Chapter 10

chapter index

Hello I have returned. Have the next chapter.

CW: grooming

Also, please note that I have officially changed the rating of the story on AO3 and FF.net regarding *future* chapter(s). And don't act like y'all don't even know why. :)

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“I can’t believe that actually worked.” Kagome mentioned amusedly, walking a few feet behind her half demon companion.

“I told you it would. I can’t believe you tested out the sharpness on your thumb.” Inuyasha sarcastically sneered with an irritated roll of his eyes, his head slightly bobbing to the side.

“I didn’t test it out, and you know it.” Kagome half laughed - half sighed. “I just wanted to see the job Totosai did. It was super sharp!”

“Yeah, no fucking kidding, huh? I’m not sure if you know this, though, but you see things with your eyes.”

“It was an accident, you butt.”

“Will you hurry up and fix your tits so I can take a look at your cut already?” He pressed heatedly, intentionally keeping ahead of her.

Kagome had been wrestling with the lacing of her bodice for a few minutes now; ever since they left the inn. They were finally outside of the village and wandering through the forest, but it was a little tricky to get her breasts in order while keeping a steady pace behind Inuyasha. That, and finagling the strings with one less thumb so she wouldn’t get blood on her clothing.

“You know, now that you mention it, you haven’t looked at me since I tightened my bodice up. What’s up with that?” Kagome questioned, holding the loosened garment an inch away from her chest to try and shake her breasts down a little. No good. Not loose enough yet. She really went to town this time.

“You want me to?” He countered with a brazened tone.

“I mean, it’s not that I want you to. I don’t necessarily care one way or the other.”

“I’m trying to be respectful.”

“It was your idea for me to objectify myself, Inuyasha.”

“So? That’s different. It was Totosai objectifying you, and it served a purpose. You got your shit for free. It worked. Now put them away.”

“I’m trying! They wont work with me.” She laughed. It was honestly funny that he was so stiff ahead of her, so insistent to avoid looking at her.

“How bad is your thumb?”

“Eh, not too bad. It’s dripping down my hand, though.”

“Goddamn it, Kagome!” He ground out exasperatedly.

“Just turn around, oh my god.” Kagome laughed again, shaking her head.

“No.”

“You act like you won’t have anything else to look at if you do. Like, I don’t know, my eyes? Or, maybe even my thumb?”

“Fix your tits.”

“My nipples aren’t showing. It’s just a bit of cleavage.”

“I’m serious.”

“So, am I. My nipples really aren’t showing.”

“Oh my fucking god.”

“Ah! Inuyasha, it’s going down my forearm!” Kagome commented in a panicked tone, readjusting the way she held her arm as she quickly yanked her sleeve back so her blood wouldn’t stain.

Quickly, Inuyasha spun around, but he abruptly stopped before he could even reach for her hand, amber eyes landing on her chest and then hastily shooting up to her face. She watched his cheeks change colors, three shades of red appearing just beneath his eyes before he glared and turned back around to keep walking.

“Hey!”

“Fix ‘em.”

“Are you afraid of boobs, Inuyasha?” God, she was trying so hard not to laugh right now. She’d never seen anyone as flustered as he was now, and it was extremely difficult not to poke fun at him. “Is that what’s happening? Do my breasts intimidate you?”

“Kagome, don’t think I’m opposed to leaving you here alone until you fix your wardrobe malfunction.”

“You wouldn’t.” She stated plainly with a shrug he didn’t see.

“Oh, fuck you. Yes, I would.”

“And, leave me defenseless with a bleeding thumb and my tits out for all to take advantage of?” Obviously, that was a joke, but despite the lighthearted tone, she knew it would grind Inuyasha’s gears. He stopped walking and she heard the deep, hot inhale through his nose, literally watching his fingers furl into fists. It didn’t take a genius to know that he desperately wanted to leave her just to prove a point, but he couldn’t because there really was the possibility that she’d be an easy target.

“Go ahead,” Kagome laughed defeatedly, stopping behind him. “Say it.”

“Fuck you.” He huffed out through clenched teeth. “You’re manipulative.”

“Is there anyway I can kindly manipulate you into maybe helping me?” She almost mumbled, staring down at her chest while she struggled with one hand now.

“Kagome, what!?” Inuyasha lolled his head dramatically.

“I never realized how much I needed my thumbs for this. It was a struggle at first, but since I’m dripping now, I’m down to one hand entirely. I need help.”

“My help!?”

“Do you speak squirrel? Maybe you can get one of those guys to do it - yes, you’re help!” Kagome fired. “Stop being a sissy and just turn around. I promise my breasts wont bite you.”

“I hate you. I hate you so much right now.” He murmured, sliding his heel around in the dirt to face her. His golden eyes drifted around, never landing on her at all. They went from the right, above her, back to the right, then all the way over her and to the left.

“God, Inuyasha, I’m not asking you to grope me! Start from the bottom and pull this string.” Kagome waited a moment, observing Inuyasha’s discomfort, his blush, his tense stance. With a groan beneath her breath, she rolled her eyes again. “Would you feel better if I covered my cleavage?”

“I’m not sure.” He admitted.

“Fine, I’ll just do it, myself. But, stop for a minute. It’s even harder to do while walking.” Kagome conceded with a sigh. She turned around so Inuyasha would hopefully be more comfortable, pulling her sleeve as far back over her elbow as it would go to struggle with her lacing again with a little less risk of a mess. She continued on grumbling, “I don’t know what you’re problem is, though. I know damn well you’ve seen boobs before. Don’t act like mine aren’t nice. Mine are perfectly nice.”

With a feisty huff, Inuyasha gave in, giving her what she wanted with a little taste of her own medicine.

“Fine,” He grunted, grabbing her shoulder and yanking her around. Kagome unsuspectingly stood there, shocked, eyes wide as he flicked her hands away from her bodice. Inuyasha worked from the bottom up, yanking the strings loose as her body jostled slightly from the force of his movements. “Yes, your tits are nice. Is that what you want to hear? That’s not the problem though. You’re not someone I’m trying to hit and quit. You’re Kagome. I was being respectful. I refuse to make you feel objectified or uncomfortable.“ Finally loose enough, Inuyasha grabbed it from the top and wiggled her chest back and forth so her breasts would fall back into their proper place. Then, he went right back to tightening it up properly, going by how they usually looked as he pulled the strings taut, again her body jostling back and forth with his motions. “But, you just think it’s so funny, don’t you? You’re such a fucking brat sometimes, I swear. Well, fine. You want my help? You got it.” Inuyasha declared, quickly tying off the ends of the strings, and giving the top plush of her tits a finishing pat.

Kagome stared at him, stunned. There was a partial smile on her mouth, but it hung open, the heat of her face bubbling and bright. Inuyasha took in her blush, how it was taking forever to process what the fuck had just happened, and he cocked an arrogant smirk at the embarrassment he’d caused her to swim in.

“How’s it feel?” He asked smugly.

“I deserved that.” She remarked, trying to pinch her lips into a straight set line so she wouldn’t laugh. She hadn’t seen that coming. Not at all. “The - uh - the boob tap was a nice touch. No pun intended.”

There was a moment where he inhaled slowly, eyes blinking closed as his brows furrowed and creased deeply, but he couldn’t hold it. The both of them started laughing hysterically, his own coming out as a sort of snort from how hard he’d tried to bite the reaction back.

“Fuck, I can’t stand you!” He laughed, planting the palm of his hand on his forehead before sloppily dragging his silver bangs away.

“I’m sorry! I just didn’t expect to be manhandled by you!” Kagome had slightly doubled over from how funny it was. Anyone else, and she would have punched their lights out. But, this was Inuyasha. And, he went from zero to a hundred real freaking quick. It was both surprising and hilarious at the same time.

“How fucking old is that bodice? Why did I have to put so much effort into such a small thing?” Inuyasha stressed.

“Pretty old.” She giggled, testing the flexibility of his job. Honestly, it was nearly perfect. A smidgen tighter than she liked it, but not at all something she couldn’t live with. “I wear it all the time so it fits better to my body, but I’ve had to replace the lacing a few times already. I might be due for new strings. These ones like to stick in the holes and it makes it harder to pull loose - I know.”

“You’d better hope that thing doesn’t rip right off of you in the heat of battle.” He chuckled.

“Shh, don’t say that.” Kagome hushed. “You’ll jinx me.”

“Let me see your cut, you fucking idiot.” Inuyasha wagged his fingers to usher her hand over, taking it to inspect the small nick closely. It really was fucking tiny. How the fuck was it bleeding so much? “Turn around.”

Kagome pursed her lips and did as instructed, letting Inuyasha pull the drawstring of her bag loose and wriggle something free. With his clutch on the sack, her twisted her back to face him, opening up the canteen of water and slowly pouring some on the little laceration.

“Seriously, how did you even do this?”

“I don’t even know. I think my grip on the arrowhead just kind of slipped and I accidentally cut myself.”

“I can’t take you anywhere. You’re so fucking clumsy, it’s annoying.”

“Catch me, I’m swooning.” Kagome sarcastically remarked at his abrasive words with a playful roll of her eyes.

The corners of Inuyasha’s lips inched upward as he handed her the canteen to hold in her free hand, reaching into his pocket. The hanyou pulled out an off-white handkerchief, unfolding it before her with a little flick.

“Is that a flower on the corner? Inuyasha, I didn’t take you as a floral kind of guy.” Kagome giggled teasingly.

“Ha-ha.” He sneered. “A harlot gave it to me.”

“When?” Kagome hadn’t had the opportunity to hold back the rise in her tone before the word slipped off her tongue. It was shocked, and defensive, and almost territorial. Immediately, as she realized how she’d sounded, she fixed her expression and shut her mouth.

Inuyasha arched a brow, resisting the reflex to smirk. He didn’t take Kagome as the jealous type, but he’d caught it. No matter how quickly she’d adjusted herself and shifted her eyes away. Not to mention, there was a slightly embarrassed flush on her cheeks.

“Before I met you.” He said, finally letting himself smile, though it was smug as all hell. He could feel it. “We didn’t fuck.”

“Oh, that’s not it.” Kagome hastily reassured, giving a dramatic, one-shouldered shrug. “I was just a little surprised because I didn’t see you talk to anybody, so I was like ‘wow, when did another woman approach’, right? Because, like, I was right next to you most of the time, except for, like, when I went downstairs to the tavern to eat, but I highly doubt you would have snuck someone in then. Of course, even if you did, that’s none of my business. But, it was just, when we were shopping in the market avenue, we were right next to each other the whole time, so, like, I was just shocked because, wow, I didn’t see anything, so if it happened, it had to be super stealthy. I was just surprised, is all, but if it happened before we even met, then that makes a lot more sense. It’s actually a really pretty handkerchief.”

Good lord, she rambled when she was flustered. Inuyasha shrugged his brows, sighing deeply as he ignored her, taking the corner of the cloth between his teeth and ripping a long portion off.

“And, now it’s not.” Kagome deadpanned.

“Will you shut up already?” Inuyasha grumbled, wrapping the torn away length of cloth around her thumb to tie securely. “There. You’re gonna make it.”

“Thanks, doc.” She said with a cute pout.

Inuyasha’s ear flicked as he took the canteen to shove back in her bag, stopping for a moment to analyze the noise he’d caught. Light footsteps, small gait, single person, careful treading. Not in a stalking manner, though. It was nearby, but it didn’t seem like they were attempting to creep up in any way. With an attentive sniff, Inuyasha caught the scent of a human. One who made home more often in a forest than anywhere else. They had a woodsy scent, a fresh campfire lingering on their clothing. With how light they seemed, Inuyasha was willing to guess they were female. Though, he has been wrong before. It could also be a child. They had the tendency of ambling similarly, albeit with more frequent stumbling. Nevertheless, they were fine so long as both parties minded their own.

“You done rambling?” He asked as he came around the side of her, notching his head to signal for them to continue on.

“I wasn’t rambling.” She weakly defended with a barely audible huff from her nostrils.

“Okay,” He chuckled. “Well, if that’s the case, then keep your voice down. There’s someone nearby.”

“Who?”

“No one we need to worry about. Human. I just don’t want to attract attention our way.”

“Roger that.” Kagome nodded, sealing her lips and walking by his side.

Silence, talking, bantering, it was all comfortable with Inuyasha at this point. There was something that had shifted between them over the past couple of days. After he’d gone to sleep on his human night, Kagome laid there awake, listening to the peacefulness of his deep breathing. It wasn’t often that he slept, but he seemed to fall asleep pretty quickly that night. All she could hope was that he was okay and comfortable, and that he woke up well-rested.

But, she worried that maybe she’d pushed the boundaries with all the touching she’d done on him that night. She was a little more handsy than normal. Granted, it was only his hair, arm, and legs, and they’d held hands for about thirty seconds, but it was still abnormal and slightly unwarranted. Kagome got a bit in her head by overthinking the situation. She was slightly overly affectionate, which was weird on its own because this was a different sort of affection she hadn’t really understood or explored before. And, while she wanted to blame the one beer she’d consumed and Koga’s insinuation of her feelings for Inuyasha, by the next morning, she knew she couldn’t. She knew it made sense for a reason. How could she deny that she had an attraction toward him?

Thing was, Kagome was worried she’d made it too apparent. He was so close to her, they were touching like it was second nature, and she hadn’t even considered that she may have been overstepping a boundary. She’d hoped, sincerely hoped, that things wouldn’t be awkward in the morning.

Luckily and surprisingly, they weren’t. Though, things weren’t quite the same either. Inuyasha walked a few inches closer to her. They’d decided to stay in town for another day for a little rest - which she knew was because he was aware of how exhausted she was from all the extra effort she’d been putting into her training and growth. That, he wouldn’t openly admit, though. Nor, would she expect him to. It was good enough for her to be able to read him, and that was all Kagome needed to appreciate. They ate breakfast in Kaede’s tavern, and he kicked the toes of her boots a few times. It was a casual thing as they waited and conversed, but it was new. She wouldn’t necessarily call it footsies though. That was a little too cutesy of a stunt for Inuyasha to ever pull. Then, he took her around the town, discretely showing her some of the deterrents Kaede had previously mentioned. He stayed close. Always close. Especially, when he took her to the market avenue.

There was a bit of a crowd even Inuyasha seemed surprised about. Kagome could tell he wasn’t a fan of them right away. His ears swiveled unpleasantly, almost pinning down for a brief moment, and he seemed to stiffen minutely. Nothing too obvious, but she’d caught the difference. She was quick to suggest they come back later, but the hanyou shook his head, clearing his dissatisfaction.

“Stay close.” He’d instructed as he guided her through. “Don’t want to lose you.”

It might have meant nothing but basic kindness to him, but it caused a tiny flurry in her abdomen. That sensation spread out whenever people got a little too close to her and Inuyasha’s hand would unconsciously find the small of her back. Was it protective, or was it just to make sure they didn’t get separated? Or both? Kagome didn’t allow herself to read too far into it. She just decided to go along with it, enjoying the warmth and safety of his presence.

They ate dinner in the tavern, joked with Kaede in her downtime, played rock-paper-scissors - which was shockingly exciting for such a simple game, enjoyed one last, hot bath, and then went to bed. Of course, ending with Inuyasha wrestling with her and dumping her on the mattress like before. At some point in the day, Kagome had stopped thinking about the potential for awkward tension between them, she stopped thinking about accidentally overstepping boundaries the night before, she stopped thinking about incidentally making Inuyasha uncomfortable with her affection, because it felt like he was partaking in growing closer to her, as well. It felt natural. It felt like no thought needed to be applied, and whatever was happening was organic.

Whether it was in the same nature as her or not, she wasn’t sure. And, she tried to believe it didn’t matter.

So quickly, yet still not terrifying. Not to her. Kagome had thoroughly come to enjoy his company.

“So,” She spoke, keeping her voice low so it was conversational but between them. “What did you mean by, ‘you’re Kagome’?”

“You’re Kagome.” Inuyasha repeated matter-of-factly.

“And?”

“You’re annoying.”

“And?” She giggled.

“You’re fishing for something I’m not going to give you.” He stated gruffly.

“Allow me to fill in the blanks.”

“Here we go.” Inuyasha muttered.

“‘You’re Kagome’, when looked up in a modern dictionary, can mean one of three things: Number one, I respect you so stinking much that I could never find it in myself to sexualize you non-consensually. Number two, I’m not attracted to you and it makes me feel uncomfortable that you have such nice breasts because I would rather not view you as a sexually appeasing woman. Number three, you’re one of the bro’s.”

“Number four, you’re an idiot I can never get to shut up, so it’s physically impossible to be attracted to someone like you.” He added.

“Hah! Says the guy who got shy at the sight of a little cleavage.” Kagome playfully teased.

“Why are you not offended when I call you ugly?” Inuyasha chuckled, his expression twisting bemusedly.

Kagome stopped, an obvious pout replacing her grin. “You think I’m ugly?”

Inuyasha turned to look at her, his face shifting seriously as he panicked at her sudden hurt. “No. No, Kagome I don’t think you’re…” He paused as he watched her lips slowly curve upward, brown eyes twinkling devilishly. “I hate you.”

She laughed, “That’s why.”

“You fucking tricked me.”

“It’s one thing to not be attracted to me, Inuyasha. Of course, my feelings wouldn’t be hurt by that. But, calling me ugly would actually hurt me, and you know it, and I’ve noticed that’s something you try to avoid.”

“Hurting your feelings? I literally call you an idiot all the time.”

“Yes, but you know that doesn’t bother me.” She smiled, shrugging as she continued walking. She heard his footsteps follow behind her, crunching leaves and the thick clumps of dirt on their path.

“What makes you think I care about hurting your feelings? It’s not something I actively try to avoid, kid. You’ve probably just got a thicker layer of skin since you grew up with two boys.” Inuyasha was pulling shit out of his ass. Kagome had sort of scattered his brain for a moment. She was reading him well. Was he obvious in his attempts at taking better care of her sensitive nature?

“Nah,” She turned around to look at him, and he froze from how happy she seemed. He knew she was joking, playing around, and there was only one thing she’d said that had bothered him. That he wasn’t attracted to her. While he would rather keep it to himself, while he would rather that not be obvious information, it was still incorrect. Because, when she smiled the way she was right now, when her cheeks tinted naturally, and when the sun touched her through the tops of the trees, his heart had a tendency to clench. It wasn’t painful, it wasn’t jolting, but it was there. Of course, he found her appealing to look at. There were so many sides to her that he’d been able to witness over the weeks, and he genuinely only disliked one. Her sadness. Her tears. It wasn’t that they were ugly. He just hated it. It had no business clouding the joyful features that he observed now. Despite all that, he genuinely wanted to see more. He wanted to see it all. He wanted to see her fierce side, her determined side, he wanted to see her scowl - pointed at others, of course - and her attitude, he wanted to see what she looked like when she danced, when she was compassionate, and at the end of the day, he wanted to see her win. Inuyasha was truly attracted to Kagome, and even though that was his business, it still didn’t sit quite well that she considered otherwise. “You’re just a big softie.”

Inuyasha deadpanned. That was the second time she’d called him that, and he was beginning to think she really believed it. “And, you’re stupid.”

“You didn’t deny it!”

“Neither did you.” The hanyou stated smugly, catching up to her side. He watched her expression flatten, and she grumpily kicked a rock out of her path. Got her.

Interestingly, the human was still nearby. He’d thought, after a while, they would have gone in some other direction, but it was almost like they were keeping up with he and Kagome. Additionally, they seemed to be walking just a bit closer. More than that. They were walking toward them now. It seemed like in a matter of minutes, they were bound to cross paths.

No. Something wasn’t right.

Inuyasha stopped, swiping his arm out in front of Kagome’s stomach to halt her as well. The girl jumped slightly at the sudden change, but she settled into place as her hands gently grabbed his forearm, attention on his hardened jaw but eventually following his gaze ahead of them.

A woman stepped out from behind a thick-trunked tree, an emotionless expression on her pale face as she gazed at the two of them with caramel eyes. Beneath, the skin was thin and dark, telling stories of her fatigue, though her shoulders were broadened energetically. She was thin, mid-height, wore fitted pants, but the beige blouse she donned seemed two sizes too large, tucked into her bottoms to keep the tail out of the way. On her right shoulder, she wore a quiver of arrows and a long bow, colored red and cracked from years of usage. It came from above, but a white, ghostly serpent slithered down and around the woman’s shoulders and chest, dropping a glowing light through her heart before circling her body to perch on her free shoulder with its insectile legs.

“Kikyo.” Kagome breathed, but when Inuyasha looked down at his companion, he noticed she didn’t appear as pleased or welcoming as he would have expected her to be. So, this was the great Kikyo, huh? He lowered his arm.

Kagome skeptically glanced at Inuyasha, and even though she was just touching him, she reached for him once more to feel his shoulder.

“This is real.” Kikyo spoke. “I’m not in your head. I’m here. And, before you react to anything dramatically, no, this is not the endgame we were intended to meet at.”

Inuyasha’s brows pinched together slightly, and he felt a tug pull down at the corners of his lips. Already, he wasn’t a huge fan of the way she spoke to Kagome.

It was a moment before Kagome could speak. All she could do was stare at the woman in front of her. Over the past year, she’d always imagined she would be some form of excited when meeting Kikyo in person, but Kagome currently felt no emotion in similarity. She was unhappy. She was growing increasingly more upset, a grudge she’d been holding against the woman rising to the surface now.

“Been a while.” She finally said, her tone level.

“Yes. It has been.” Kikyo walked closer, leaving just a few feet’s worth of a gap separating she and the opposite conjurer. “I’ll admit, I haven’t much felt like talking to you. I had nothing to say.”

“Oh, you haven’t?” Kagome shrugged her brows in minor challenge. “Well, ditto.”

“Ditto?”

“Means, the feeling’s mutual. I didn’t want to talk to you, either.”

“Are you claiming to be upset with me?”

“I am.” Kagome stated plainly.

“On what grounds?” Kikyo asked, a modest scowl appearing on her features.

“You first.”

Inuyasha swiftly grew uncomfortable as both women faced each other. At the reveal of who the person was, he hadn’t suspected Kagome to be any degree of unhappy, yet she faced the supposedly powerful conjurer with squared shoulders and a vexed look on her face. Now that he thought about it, she hadn’t mentioned Kikyo since that night they played the question game. He figured if they were in consistent, subconscious communication, as it previously seemed, she’d share any news. It made sense now. They hadn’t spoken. Still, no matter how badly he wanted to take a large step to the side, he resigned to remain at Kagome’s for the moment. He really hadn’t seen her in a confrontational state such as this, so he had no idea what to expect right now.

“You know what you did.” Kikyo replied.

“You mean, what I didn’t do?” Kagome cocked her head to the side. Again, the challenge was present.

“Yes.” Kikyo huffed.

“I don’t see how that’s any of your business.”

“You don’t - excuse me?” For the first time, Kagome heard a heightened inflection in Kikyo’s tone. Even when she lectured her that last time, she didn’t seem this exasperated. And, so quickly too. Kagome was sort of proud of herself. Kikyo always appeared so grounded. “This has everything to do with me, Kagome.”

“No, you think it has everything to do with you, but it really doesn’t. You voiced your opinion, I took it into account, but then I made my own decision. You and I can’t travel together, and you basically told me I’m on my own, so that means I get to call my own shots. Right? Right.”

“You’re a fool.”

“Oh my god.” Kagome’s head lolled back dramatically before finding its way to sit upright. “That again? I’m the fool, but you wanted to punish me by giving me the silent treatment for traveling with Inuyasha? Fine, I’ll take it. But, you’re immature.”

“What do you have against me?” Inuyasha inquired with a small shrug, confused. He was sidelined one moment, and then before he knew it, part of the problem.

Kikyo hissed an abrupt hushing sound at the half demon, barely looking at him before she went back to glaring at Kagome. “Tell me why you have the audacity to be mad.”

“The audacity?” Kagome guffawed, so blown away by Kikyo’s ego that she couldn’t help but back step with her jaw hanging agape. “Okay! Sure! Were you ever gonna mention that you were hanging around my village for god knows how long? That you were spotted and that was the reason Naraku’s henchmen had been visiting so frequently? Hm? Ever plan on bringing that information up, or were you just gonna sweep it under the rug?”

“Are you blaming me for -“

“No. I’m not. The girl’s death is on them. I’m blaming you for being partially responsible for making the last few months of my life hell, though! Did you watch when my mother was slapped across the face two months ago? She was hit so hard, her cheek was bruised and she spit blood. Did you sit back and relax when an old lady had her face shoved in horse shit? Her heart gave out a week later, and the doctor thinks it was from the stress. We all called her Grandma Hojo. She raised one of my friends. She was all he had left. How about the time they defiled our graveyard? Did you like that little show they put on? How I had to scoop up and bury my father’s ashes for the second time!? You really want to say that I have the ‘audacity’ to be mad at you!? Kikyo, you were right fucking there! Why did you -“

“Hey,” His voice was soothing as Inuyasha swiftly reached for her jaw with one hand, her nearest shoulder with the other, turning Kagome to face him. He bowed his head slightly, speaking only to her as he forced her eye contact. “Hey, it’s okay. Calm down, alright? Don’t visit that pain again. I don’t want you going back to that.”

The hanyou gave her a moment, and luckily Kikyo stayed stiff with silence. He didn’t let Kagome go. Truthfully, he was willing to guess even she hadn’t realized how emotional she was becoming or how the post-traumatic stress was being triggered. But, he’d seen it. He heard things he couldn’t imagine a single person having to live through, let alone this girl. This girl whose eyes brought him solace without any effort, this girl whose laughter was bubbly and sweet, this girl he was biased enough to believe deserved it all the least. Even he was slammed with the weight of the experiences she’s lived through, and these occurrences were only separated by mere weeks. But, it was at the mention of her father’s remains being disrespected that his heart wrenched painfully. If he was hurt by the thought, he knew Kagome was engulfed in that pain and anger, and that was where Inuyasha needed to reach in and yank her out. It was so easy to drown in trauma you hadn’t been able to sort through yet, and he couldn’t let it take her. She could continue arguing all she wanted. Truthfully, he loved her feisty side. This seemed like something that was waiting to come, anyway. But, she was going to stay balanced while she did it. He was there to make sure she didn’t get too overwhelmed.

Kagome took a deep breath, slightly embarrassed but thankful for her companion reeling her back to reality. She had been quickly growing so furiously heated that she wasn’t even thinking straight and her fingers had begun trembling, but his touch pulled her back to the present. She hated that she was so emotion driven, she hated that she got so passionately flustered when reliving past incidents, but none of that was important right now. Kagome nodded as she felt steadier, more level-headed, and then turned out of his grasp, looking back at Kikyo. She could feel the slant of her own eyes, though. Her glare held no forgiveness yet. She wanted to hear Kikyo’s explanation, and quite frankly, deserved it.

“You do blame me.” Kikyo stated more than questioned, a slight frown tugging at her lips.

“I blame you for what you’re responsible for, yes.” Kagome replied. “I blame you for just standing by and watching. I blame you for knowing the havoc you’d caused, but never giving any sort of warning. You had plenty of opportunities. You communicated to me in my dreams, but all you ever said was, ‘the responsibility is ours.’ Not once did you slip in a, ‘hey, I fucked up. Look out.’”

Kikyo’s caramel eyes fell to the forest floor, the muscles at the joint of her jaw flexing and nostrils flaring. There was the smallest quiver in her chin, but she tucked it in the hopes that it wouldn’t be noticed. A heat was rising through her chest, her neck, her face, and all too soon, her nervous ticks began to kick. Her hips swayed side-to-side, her fingers clenched and unclenched repeatedly, she gnawed on her thin, bottom lip, and she blinked profusely because she’d be damned if anyone saw a single tear from her.

“I - I didn’t know what to do.” Kikyo hesitantly admitted.

Kagome didn’t speak. In fact, she sealed her lips. The floor belonged to Kikyo.

“It took forever to find you, and when I had, I didn’t want to forget your face or your village. It was difficult to locate to begin with. I did - um - I did make a mistake, Kagome. I wasn’t paying as close attention to my surroundings as I should have been. I got too relaxed, and hadn’t realized I’d been seen at first. When it became apparent, it was too late. I tried wandering away, even going so far as to intentionally be seen elsewhere to try and drag the attention away from you and yours, but I was unsuccessful. Thing was, so long as I remained evasive, things weren’t going to be as bad as they could have been. Things were terrible, I know, but if they had caught me, that is when Naraku would have shown up. Or, could have. I don’t know how that would work or how they would gather his attention, but it wasn’t a chance I was willing to take. They could not involve him if they did not have me.”

“But, why didn’t you say anything to me?”

“I did not want you to go looking for me. Knowing I was right there, you would have come searching.”

“You could have at least warned me to expect the worst. You could have said something.” “Kagome, I am a conjurer. I am not clairvoyant. I had no idea what was coming for you once I had been seen.”

“Okay, fair.” She huffed agitatedly. “But, you never said anything to me afterward, either.”

“It was in the past.”

“Oh, screw you!” She snapped, stepping back again.

“It wasn’t something you needed to focus on, anymore!”

“I really can’t get a read on you! Are you that cold!? Are you that insensitive!?”

“No!” Kikyo was beginning to crack. She didn’t know how to properly explain herself, how to make Kagome understand that her intentions were pure and not cruel. Naturally, Kikyo had a difficult time emotionally connecting with others. Ever since she’d met Naraku, ever since her life and heart had taken a nosedive into turbulent waters, connecting grew exponentially more difficult. Throw that in with the fact that human interaction was few and far between, she was in a disposition where she legitimately felt blocked. How did she make Kagome understand? Did she overshare? It was uncomfortable to consider, but even now, where she stood, she was uncomfortable already.

“You didn’t even help! You just watched! You watched peoples’ homes get torn apart, you watched my family suffer, you watched women get thrown around and harassed, one was almost raped last month, Kikyo!”

“Kagome, I didn’t mean -“

“No! Stop it! I looked up to you! You made me look up to you! I thought you were my hope, I thought you were everyone’s hope! Lo and behold, you were five feet away the whole time, and you just watched!” Kagome’s voice cracked from her zeal, her fury. “And, you want to tell me it’s a thing of the past!? Tell that to Hojo! Tell that to my mother! No, you know what? Go ahead and tell that to any male in my village. They’ll still take it as personally as any woman who’s been at the wrath of the henchmen’s hands. Go ahead, Kikyo. Tell that to my cousin and little brother. See how they’d respond.”

“I just - I didn’t -“ Kikyo’s breathing had increased. Her pale cheeks were now painted red, her eyes were bloodshot, her lips were bitten, pressed, and sucked so hard that they finally hued pink. Her chest rose and fell heavily from the way her lungs pumped air in and out, that her breasts actually pressed against the cloth of her baggy shirt. “If I did something, there was - there was the chance that I wouldn’t get them all. They were working off of inconclusive evidence of my presence since they had nothing tangible, so if I basically confirmed I was there and failed to kill every last one of them, Naraku would come. Kagome, Naraku wouldn’t hesitate to kill you all just to find me. He would have you killed. I couldn’t - no. I didn’t know what to do.”

Kagome took the sight of the breaking conjurer in. Finally, she was expressing emotion. Finally, she was showing something relatable, she was conveying tension, and anxiety, and fear, and remorse. Finally. “Were you scared?”

“No!” Kikyo hardened hastily.

“You’d only be doing yourself a favor by admitting it.” Inuyasha spoke, his tone gruff. “You’re not fooling either of us.”

A tear fell from Kikyo’s eye, but her hand swiped across her cheek to clear it so quickly. That tear served as her breaking point, though. It was like a wall she’d forged in unbreakable steel was cracking down the middle, and the weight Kikyo carried on her shoulders was bringing it to crumble. She gasped as the emotions overpowered her, as the guilt overwhelmed her, and this sensation, the denseness in her chest, the disturbing warmth that tingled over her skin, was all so foreign now that she didn’t know how to process it all at once.

She was only human. This was a bold reminder of which. Kagome’s anger began to dissipate, the flush in her body was cooling down. Her own heart clenched at the visible pain the opposite woman was in, but she didn’t know what to do to help.

“I was. I was scared.” Kikyo cried, relentlessly wiping her face of her tears. Her head was bowed so her twisted, sorrowful expression wasn’t observable, but she spoke up, despite her broken voice, to make sure the confessions she’d kept under lock and key were heard as clearly as possible. “I didn’t mean to cause so much damage, and I didn’t know what to do to correct it. There was always the risk that there were lingering demons. They didn’t always bring everyone in their pack. Their leader was smart, and the risks hanging over your head scared the hell out of me. For a while, I thought I was helping by staying out of it.”

“Well,” Kagome sighed, trying to push the remaining resentment from her veins. “You’re definitely right about something there. Their leader was smart. He rarely brought his whole squad, and when he did, it meant they were bored and all hell was about to break loose.”

“I didn’t know that them spotting me would make things harder on you. Was everything they did from that point on abnormal?” Kikyo asked, sniffling but desperately trying to pull herself together. The skin beneath her eyes was scarlet and puffy, and the tip of her nose was bright. She blinked quickly to fight off anymore tears from falling, and any that did escape was swiftly cleared away with the wet sleeve of her shirt.

“I don’t know when, exactly, they noticed you since they never said anything, but they increased their visits. Which makes sense now since it turns out they were trying to weed you out.”

“Weed me out?”

“Yeah, they thought you might have had family in my town. And, even if you didn’t, overall, they were just trying to get you to react.”

“Wait,” Kikyo shook her head slightly, perplexed. “How do you know this? I don’t understand.”

“I had a little run-in with their leader almost three weeks ago. He spilled the beans.” Kagome grumbled, recollecting on that incident.

“Oh,” The shake of her head deepened, eyes falling for a moment as she exhaled heatedly. “I - I wasn’t aware of that.”

“It’s alright. He’s dead now. All of his lugs are. Hopefully, my home is at least a little more peaceful and they’re in recovery.”

“I want you to know, I also wasn’t aware of the grave defilement. That may have happened when I was away and trying to pull the attention off of your village. I did not know you had to… your father. Kagome, I didn’t even know your father was deceased.”

“Don’t worry about it.” Kagome resigned, pushing the memory away.

“Look, this - uh - this isn’t why I came here today. I need to speak with you.” Kikyo admitted, centering herself as she raised her chin as she normally would.

“About what?”

Kikyo regarded Inuyasha was a slight shift of her eyes before glancing back over to Kagome. “In private.”

“No.” Kagome said. It was straight, like there was no room for compromise.

“Yes.”

“She said no.” Inuyasha said.

“You are not involved.”

“I am now.”

“Kagome -“

“Kikyo, whatever you tell me is most likely going to be relayed back to Inuyasha, anyway. He’s with me. We’re doing this together. So, you can talk to me with him around.” Kagome attested. “He’s trustworthy, I promise.”

“I do not deem him so.”

“Alright, that’s it. What’s your problem?” Inuyasha questioned, his attitude flaring. He cocked his head to the side, panning the woman with an indifferent stare.

“You have no business here.” Kikyo responded. “I tried to caution Kagome against traveling with you, but she’s as stubborn as a mule. Be that as it may, just because she finds you trustworthy, does not mean I have to agree.”

“You’re right, you don’t.” He shrugged, a hint of venom on his tongue. “But, that doesn’t change a damn thing, sweet cheeks. Kagome and I still come in a pair, and because she’s already declined to leave me out of it, it looks like you better get used to me being included. She’s already told you she’d only end up telling me everything, anyway. So, you might as well get talking.”

“You are highly infuriating.”

“Likewise. You’ve sparked a fight with both Kagome and I in the span of minutes. That takes skill.”

“I don’t much care about offending you.”

“Right back at ya.”

“You have no business here.” Kikyo repeated, more vexed that time.

The hanyou gestured to the girl at his side. “All the business I need.”

“Kikyo, stop.” Kagome tried. “Just tell me what you came here to tell me.”

“No.” She held up a hand at Kagome, her glare aimed at the half demon at her side. Kikyo squared her shoulders mightier, and he only stood a couple inches taller than she, so she barely had to look up at him to meet his amber eyes. “Why should I trust you? Why should I believe you’re a good asset to Kagome?”

“What is this, an interview? You think you call the shots or something?” Inuyasha challenged.

“I am more experienced than she is, so I know what your kind is like. It’s normal to have lapses in judgement when you’re fresh to the world outside of your home, and it’d be way too lucky to stumble upon someone valuable immediately. So, tell me, hanyou. Tell me why I should trust you.”

“Kikyo, stop.” Kagome ordered, going ignored.

“You’re missing the point. I don’t give a flying fuck if you trust me. Get your head out of your ass and understand that you have no fucking say here. I’m along for the ride whether you like it or not.”

“You shouldn’t be. Just your temper tells me you’re irrational and could get Kagome hurt.”

“What the fuck are you talking about?”

“That Kagome needs to be as level-headed as physically possible with every step she takes, and that she can’t afford to take chances with reckless half demons such as yourself.”

“Are you implying that I would put Kagome in danger!?” Inuyasha seethed, filled with a burning heat that rose over his body.

“I am implying that even if you kept your mouth shut, who you are is a risk on its own.”

“Kikyo!” Kagome shouted.

“Fuck you!” Inuyasha growled. He hadn’t been this angry at an insult toward his hanyou state in so fucking long, this feeling was almost unnatural to him at this point. How dare she? Who the fuck did this bitch think she was? Everything from his tongue thereafter was uncontrollable and hot, it was demanding and sharp as knives. “Says the twat who refused to even help Kagome out from the beginning because you were too scared to be caught by Naraku! Yeah, I’m a fucking half demon, Kikyo! Who gives a rats ass!? Kagome doesn’t seem to mind, but I guess you’re just so fucking entitled that you’re not used to your opinion being irrelevant! Jesus fuck, but for you to think I would ever put Kagome in danger is low! You don’t know me! Don’t pretend to know me because of my genetics!”

“Would you give your life for hers?”

“Without a second thought.” He answered quickly, furiously, his tone lethal and husky. Inuyasha realized then that Kikyo was calm. She’d relented halfway through his rant, the tiniest of smug grins appearing on her lips. What was that about? Was she egging him on? Did she believe him? Or was this what she wanted all along? Either way, he wasn’t finished. He knew what he’d said, but he felt like he needed to make sure he was understood completely with no room for misinterpretation. “I don’t give a fuck who you think you are, I don’t even care what you think of me. What matters here is Kagome, and so long as she trusts me, I’m not going anywhere. She’s safe with me. I would never intentionally put her in danger. Understand?”

“Got it.” She smiled, holding her hands up to submit. “Calling me a ‘twat’ was a bit excessive, but that was all I wanted to know.”

“Were you -“ Kagome gawked incredulously. “Were you testing him?”

“I was. He wouldn’t outwardly tell me why I should trust him in the beginning, so I had to trick him into telling me.”

“Good lord, you really need to work on your social skills.” Kagome groaned, pinching the bridge of her nose.

“I know, it’s not the greatest tactic.” Kikyo scrunched her expression remorsefully. “It’s difficult for me to properly navigate conversations; I really don’t talk to a lot of people much anymore. I’m not surprised that I’ve upset you both. I apologize, Inuyasha. I just wanted to - are you okay?”

Inuyasha had crouched down where he stood, his elbows braced on his knees as he buried his face in his hands. “You stress me the fuck out, dude.”

“I just wanted to make sure you had good intentions.” Kikyo assured, looking slightly panicked. “When a person is heated, they say their truths more passionately, and -“

“Yeah. Just talk to Kagome.” He murmured, not yet coming out of his position.

Kagome soothingly rubbed her hand over the top of his back, lightly scratching her fingers at the nape of his neck where his hairline was. “Alright, we’re all done fighting. No more of that, okay? What did you come here for?”

“Are you sure he’s okay?” Kikyo whispered concernedly to the opposite conjurer.

“He will be.” She replied in a hushed tone, as well.

“Alright, well I should - I should apologize to you, too. I should have never -“

“It’s alright, Kikyo. I understand.”

“No, you really don’t.” She confessed. “There’s a lot more that I’ve been hiding from you. I didn’t know the right time to tell you, or even how, but I fear it’s imperative knowledge.”

“What is it?” Kagome asked.

“I don’t even know where to start except to ask:” There was a brief pause as Kikyo inhaled deeply, sighing out just the same, almost in preparation. “How - how is my sister?”

Kagome didn’t take long to process her question. She pursed her lips and nodded instead, taking her hand back as her companion rose back to a standing. “I knew it. Kaede.”

Inuyasha almost instantly regretted unfurling from his ball. This chick was all over the place. One minute she’s starting fights, then she’s testing him, the next she’s admitting to withholding important information, and now she’s Kaede’s long lost sister? Holy fucking shit. This was a joke, right?

“Is she well? Healthy?” Kikyo continued, her tone substantially softer.

“Inuyasha, this is your domain.” Kagome handed over to him.

“Inuyasha?” Kikyo questioned, as if to as why Kagome couldn’t answer, herself.

“He knows her on a more personal level. I only met her because of him.”

“Wait, wait, wait. I’m gonna need a little more information here. Kaede said her sister died. Tragically.” Inuyasha stated.

“You’re her friend?” Kikyo asked hopefully.

“Yes. Focus.”

“It’s - please, just tell me she’s okay first. She has to be, right? Is that her building, or is she just working in it?”

“Kaede’s fine. She’s a fucking firecracker. The building is an inn, and yes, she owns it. Your turn.”

Kikyo cracked a small smile of relief, nodding and bowing her head as the information registered. Her sister was well. Now, came the fun part. She prefaced by taking an inconspicuous step back. With the wild energy of the two before her, and how quick they were to spring into attack mode, the last thing Kikyo wanted was to be within arm’s reach for this.

“I faked my death. It was to protect Kaede.”

Inuyasha grimaced, crossing his arms over his chest as he leaned his torso down to the side toward Kagome. “Why do I get the feeling I’m not going to like this?”

“Because, nothing good ever comes from a statement like that.” Kagome returned, giving a slight grimace, herself.

“I’m right here. I can hear you.” Kikyo grumbled.

“Sorry. Continue.” Kagome waved dismissively.

“Look,” Kikyo sighed, her shoulders dropping an inch. “I’ve known Naraku for well over a decade. We loved each other - or, at least I thought. I - I loved him, that was for certain. Now that I’m older, I see how volatile our relationship truly was, but it changes nothing. I was a teenager when we'd met and he was eleven years older, and I was too young and naive to understand the red flags I was shrugging off. Naraku was never on our side. The side of good.”

“Sorry, to interrupt, but I need to know: Did you know Naraku while he was human? Or was he a half demon by the time you two met?” Inuyasha asked, and he observed Kikyo’s expression widen in slight dismay.

“How did you know about that?”

Inuyasha blatantly didn’t answer. His look was hard, straight, his arms still crossed and lips closed. Her inquiry was valid, but he didn’t really like his questions being answered with questions constantly. She’d get her explanation in a moment, but his came first.

“I met him while he was still human.” Kikyo relented, understanding his body language. “I had planned to mention his transformation in sequence, though I will admit, I wasn’t sure how it would have come off.”

“Fair enough.” The hanyou nodded. “I had an unfortunate run-in with his indisposed state. From my angle, it’s not hard to tell what I was looking at.”

“He was -“ Kikyo ground her jaw, eyes falling to the floor as they slanted indignantly. “I wish I had known just how insane he was beneath the surface. It was criminal just how well he hid behind smiles and polite gestures, and he was so gentle with me I would have never guessed he’d one day want to kill me. He talked a little about growing stronger, tired of being human, wanting more control. I was seventeen, I didn’t know that there were people in the world that struggled with mental sickness. That they could walk into your life with a sweet smile and leave with a wicked one. I didn’t know what he’d do for this control he spoke of, and I had no idea that once he got an actual taste of it, he’d go mad for more. I’ve never been the type to wear my heart on my sleeve, so I thank myself for being guarded in the first few years of our friendship. As we fell in love, that was when I opened up about being a conjurer. A creator of light and purity. But, as he allowed demons to consume him, trading his soul for the power they offered, gradually losing whatever humanity he had left in him, Naraku became the exact opposite. Do you understand, Kagome? Do you understand why it has to be us?”

Her mouth parted as she processed the information, her voice coming out small as the revelation became clear. “Naraku is literally darkness, and we are literally light.”

“Precisely.”

“No.” Inuyasha spoke, holding the hint of defense. “I understand why it has to be a conjurer, but why Kagome, specifically? She’s never met Naraku, never seen his face, she didn’t fuck him, wasn’t there for his transformation, so why did you bring her into this?”

Kikyo took another step back, slightly uncomfortable. “I’ll get to that. As Naraku and I grew closer, developed a relationship, and I had learned to trust him, I began to open up about things that weren’t superficial. I told him I had a sister, but they never met. I practically raised Kaede, so she was the only one I held unconditionally dear. No one I mingled with would know her on a personal level until I was certain it was a lifelong commitment and they would never bring her harm. While I had developed irrevocable feelings for Naraku, I felt something was off with him, and my intuition always stung when I considered introducing them to one another. He never seemed interested either. Actually, he hates children. So, him not asking or prying helped in the sense where I never felt guilty or obligated.

“Behind my back, he began his affairs with demons, selling his soul piece-by-piece as they joined his body. He killed like it was easy. He murdered for fun. He laughed when he felt the liberation of his newfound, despicable abilities. And, he'd told me as much as soon as he saw my own at play. I was distracted by him at one point; he was playfully encouraging me, acting the part of my kindhearted partner, and my arrow hit a demon but didn’t hold enough power to kill it. Naraku walked up to it, spoke something incomprehensible, and then absorbed the demon right into his body.

“That was the moment everything slowly began to unravel. He expressed desires I didn’t share, how we would be the definition of a power couple. A demon and a conjurer taking over the world. Nothing could stop us. If I shifted my focus to darker magic, he claimed nothing ever would. We’d be untouchable. I wanted no part in that. Power was never what I craved. After the childhood I’d endured, watching my parents ripped away from us by evil, I just wanted to craft my powers well enough to ensure a peaceful life for myself and my younger sister. So, I tried. I desperately tried to save Naraku. I reasoned with him, pleaded for him to come to his senses, even used our relationship as bait. He laughed in my face. Like, I meant nothing to him.

“It felt irresponsible of me to merely leave him. What good would that do? I break up with him and leave him as a menace for the rest of the world to deal with? Like, it wasn’t my problem anymore? He’d already confessed to joyful murder, and he was only growing stronger. I was -“ Kikyo paused, sucking in a grounding breath. Expressing emotions wasn’t her forte, especially now, but honesty was what Kagome deserved. And, she knew very well by now that if she didn’t, either she or Inuyasha would call her out on it. “I was scared. No, terrified. What was I supposed to do? Even if I did take the cowardice way out, Naraku would never let go of me that easily. I was trapped. Progressively, he grew violent toward me, making horrible threats if I didn’t abide by his wishes. He made me study with a woman named Tsubaki; a dark conjurer. A year later, I had no choice but to kill her. She was tainted, deplorable, and she would rip the heart from a person’s chest without so much as an ounce of remorse.

“That was also when I knew what I had to do. I had to stop Naraku. We were polar opposites, and it came to a point where there was no denying I was the only one capable of bringing him down. Unfortunately, he was three steps ahead of me. He knew as soon as I had killed Tsubaki that it was a statement as to what side I was on. All that mattered, all that he saw, was that I was against him. So quickly, everything crumbled.

“He planned to kill everyone I cared for. Naraku set attack to my village. Everything was on fire. People were screaming, pleading for help. I made a split-second decision then. I was going to let Naraku believe he killed my sister, and I was going to let her believe he’d killed me. It was the only way to make sure either stayed away from the other. I couldn’t take the chance that he would potentially come back for her, seek her out, so I used the dark magic Tsubaki taught me.”

Kagome could see the shame visible on Kikyo’s face. It was in the way her lips and chin crinkled, in the way her brow tensed, in the way her brown eyes shifted to the side as if there were a mirror before her and she couldn’t look straight at herself. Her pale fists clenched tight, and though she lacked color, Kagome could still notice the difference in white around her knuckles. If this was a lot for Kagome to hear, to digest, it had to be overwhelming for Kikyo to confess. Had she ever faced the full brunt of everything she’d been through and everything she’d done? Was her admittance to Kagome and Inuyasha the first time she’d laid it all out on the table? It seemed to be. Pink had returned to Kikyo’s cheeks, and her sclera were bloodshot. No tears had to be fought off, though. Alternatively, Kagome observed that the minimal light remaining in the opposite woman’s irises was fading.

“I hurt Kaede. I made it seem like it was one of the demons attacking. I took her eye. Held it in my own hands. Then, created something that looked like a demon to eat me - which actually carried me away from the village. I cut my arm deep, intentionally left behind a pool of blood for Kaede to see, and I’m sure she watched the whole, conjured thing. I remember our final glances, the way she clutched her right eye socket, the incredible amount of blood all over her sweet face. She watched me die, and when I was far enough away, I screamed for Naraku. I screamed, and I screamed, because I knew that bastard was listening. When he appeared, I presented my sister’s eye while I cried. I vowed to kill him, and he laughed before disappearing.”

Inuyasha was rigid, nearly shaking. He felt horribly hot all over, his nails biting into the flesh of his palms. For the sake of his willpower, he’d turned his attention away from Kikyo, clenching and unclenching his jaw, inhaling and exhaling searing breaths from his nostrils. Kaede had no idea the truth behind her own assault. She didn’t know it had anything to do with her own sister, Naraku, that her eye was taken as a result of which, that she was harmed as a result of which, and that Kikyo was still very much alive. Without a doubt, Inuyasha knew Kaede would forgive Kikyo, but Inuyasha found himself angry on her behalf. When she’d recounted the incident to him, he could see just how heartbroken Kaede still was over it all. The ferocious woman was reduced to false smiles, a belly full of liquor, and an eye that wouldn’t meet his anymore. She was no older than fifteen at the time.

He recognized that a lot of things were out of Kikyo’s control. He understood that Naraku was the true cause of everything that had occurred, that Kikyo acted on a whim with good intentions, and that she was doing what she felt she needed to do so they both survived. None of that took away from his unmitigated resentment, though. That was his friend. That was one of his first friends, in fact. That was someone who stuck her neck out for people without needing convincing. Inuyasha couldn’t help that he was furious for her, couldn’t help that he wanted to yell at Kikyo for hurting her own sister despite the fact that she did it to save her life, and couldn’t help his natural instinct to want to protect and defend. Kaede was a good fucking person, and it wasn’t right that he now knew more about the most traumatic event she’d ever endured than she did. And, he was willing to bet Kikyo was going to insist they kept their mouths shut.

Everything he felt was vile and conflicting, and while he knew the rationality behind it all, it was extremely difficult to remain rational on his part. He knew it would be wrong to act, but it was so hard not to. Kagome must have sensed it. Kagome always seemed to pick up on his shifts lately. She’d leaned a little closer to his side; it was so inconspicuous, even he hadn’t caught her adjustment. The back of her hand lightly grazed his thigh, as if they were walking so close they’d accidentally brushed, and she kept it there. Ever so slightly, she moved it back and forth in a tender, rubbing motion, bringing him back to her in such a subtle manner that wouldn’t put any obvious attention on him. Even as she picked up the conversation and spoke to Kikyo, she kept the light touch going, gradually grounding Inuyasha until he gathered his control again.

“Okay, that explains that.” Kagome said, breathing as evenly as possible. “So -“

“So,” Kikyo resumed, pinching her lips together and finally meeting the opposite conjurer’s gaze again. “I’ve spent the last nine years or so trying to stop Naraku. I have trained tirelessly, studied ancient texts I struggle to understand, stared at pages in foreign and dead languages hoping the context of conjurers, priestesses, witches, mages, and whatever the hell else we’ve been referred to as over the centuries would suddenly make sense and help me master my skills, but I’m still not strong enough to do it. I cannot kill Naraku. I had the opportunity multiple times before he became who he is today, and I couldn’t release my arrow.”

“You still love him.” Kagome commented quietly.

“No. I hate him.”

“But, you used to.” Inuyasha joined, his tone almost lethal. He was outraged now. Was she implying that she couldn’t kill Naraku because she used to have that connection with him, so that was why she’d recruited Kagome? To do her dirty work for her? He’d better be wrong. Kikyo had better tell him otherwise and she’d better do it fast or else he was about to lose his goddamn shit.

“Yes, I used to. And, it does hold me back. I can’t do it.” Kikyo admitted. “As well as I know how evil Naraku is, I still remember the kind person he’d fooled me into thinking he was. It’s like a blockade. It won’t budge. My heart wont let me. It’s useless and it was going to lead to the destruction of so many if I didn’t find a solution. I can see the wrath in your eyes, Inuyasha. I did not choose Kagome haphazardly.”

“Then, why?” He pressed, not easing his glare.

“Do you truly think I would spin a wheel and thrust my fate onto the random name my dart landed on, Inuyasha?”

“I don’t know you. I don’t know what to think. That’s why I’m giving you the chance to explain. Take it. Quickly.”

“Inuyasha.” Kagome whispered, but he reached down, grabbing her hand from his thigh and giving her a small tug to slightly shield her behind his frame. He couldn’t prevent it. He couldn’t silence his need to protect her right now.

“Think about it.” Kikyo argued. “It’s not like there’s documentation on every conjurer in existence. I didn’t raid confidential records and select Kagome arbitrarily. There’s no such thing. Otherwise, do you really think Naraku would bother having those mindless demons searching towns and interrogating innocent families looking for any conjurers, young or old? That would be absolutely pointless, and Naraku is not an idiot. He’s maniacal, but he is the furthest thing from an imbecile. I didn’t just happen upon Kagome, I was told about her. A long time ago, there was a conjurer - no,” She shook her head in swift correction. “A priestess. She was a priestess. Midoriko. She was formidable, and a master of her skill.”

“I’ve heard of her.” Kagome clutched Inuyasha’s hand in minor excitement. She hadn’t expected things to come around this way, but finally she didn’t feel completely clueless. “Papa mentioned her. He was a well-traveled man, and I don’t exactly know how he’d gotten his information, but after he’d first brought her up, Miroku - my cousin - and I snuck into a library and found a few things on her. She was extremely powerful, but died at the hands of demons, right?”

“Right.” Kikyo nodded. “Kagome, do you believe in reincarnation?”

“Uh oh.” She murmured, expression faltering. She hadn’t meant to react as such, but Kagome had a huge feeling she was about to have a heavy reality suggested upon her. “I’ll be honest, I haven’t put much thought into it.”

“Well, I believe we are her reincarnated soul.”

“What!? Are you shitting me!?” Inuyasha barked incredulously, only grasping Kagome tighter in result.

Kikyo released a frustrated groan, pinching the bridge of her nose for a moment before continuing. “I know it sounds unfathomable, but so is a human-turned-demon, okay?”

“Half demon.” Inuyasha corrected bluntly, feeling disgusted by the thought of that lunatic receiving credit as a pure breed. Even if it was seen as a jab toward his being, at least he knew he, himself, was organic.

“Not the point.” Kikyo stated. “Much like I began communicating with Kagome in her dream state, I too was contacted. By Midoriko.”

“But, she’s dead.” Kagome said, confused. “And, you said you couldn’t be contacted that way. I specifically asked you.”

“You asked me -“

“If I could do it to you, yes. But, you responded by saying you were too guarded so it wouldn’t work.”

“I just didn’t want you to try, Kagome. For the deceased, it’s nothing but a visit. For the living, it’s dark magic. You’re playing with fire.”

“You’re a fucking conjurer! What are you talking about!?” Inuyasha asked. Already on edge, at this point it was like he was just being prodded to react.

“Trained by Tsubaki! Have you not been listening!?” Kikyo fired. “I have a history with dark conjurings. It was brief, but it was shoved down my throat. I utilized them to fool my sister and Naraku, and now I’m utilizing them for the best possible reason I can think of. Midoriko told me to find you, Kagome. She specifically told me you were vital to the success of bringing the end of Naraku. She told me your name, she told me I already knew how to find you, she told me you and I are connected, and I haven’t seen her since. The dream was too particular to believe it was nothing more than a fabrication of my brain. She gave me your name. She spoke directly to me. At that point in time, I was at wits’ end. I was willing to try anything. So, I did. And, it wasn’t easy. Subconscious communication was never taught to me, but I had remembered reading about it in one of Tsubaki’s texts. It took months to get down since I had to go by nothing but trial and error, and even longer to find you. You do not know how difficult it is to mentally link with someone you have never met in person and have only heard of on one circumstance. I had to write your name down and carry it with me so I wouldn’t chance forgetting it.

“Midoriko did not state that we were her reincarnations, but in order to locate you and communicate, I had to first figure out how we were connected. I’d initially assumed it was by distant relation, but it wasn’t until I searched deeper that I finally got somewhere. We’re tethered at the soul. To me, it would only make sense that we must share one. That was why Midoriko came to me. She appeared because I was in need, and I was desperately trying to win a battle against evil - much like she was in her time. My soul called out to her. And, once I discovered it was your soul I was touching, it all made sense. Doesn’t it to you?”

“Not at all.” Kagome slowly shook her head. “I’ve gotta admit, this is a lot to chew. I’m a bit winded right now, Kikyo.”

“Try to keep up.”

“Believe me, I am. You’re kind of info-dumping on me, though.”

“Look, I’d considered giving you everything little-by-little, but I don’t think we have that sort of time on our side. Naraku’s only getting stronger, and sooner or later, he’s going to know about you. So long as I’m alive, his focus is on me. He has a nasty tendency to obsess, and I currently have his undivided attention. I want it to stay that way. But, you’re getting stronger, too. You’re improving at a rate I had never expected, so I can hear the clock ticking.”

“Is that bad?”

“Yes and no. You’re doing better than I had thought you would. You’re doing exactly as I asked of you. It’s attention-grabbing, though. That’s sort of inevitable; don’t think you’re doing wrong. I’m just concerned, so I decided it would be best to tell you everything at once. You deserve to understand it all; and I recognize I should have tried to trickle all this information in with each telepathic visit I made to you. It was just - it was hard. When I first connected, I didn’t understand that I had. It was sort of like an ember struggling to catch flame. You know how it’ll flicker in and out? That was my connection with you at first. Finally, when I managed to step through, I barely had enough time to say, ‘The responsibility is ours.’ For the longest time, that’s all I was ever able to get out to you. It was frustrating.”

“You mean, that wasn’t intentional?” Kagome arched a brow, frowning.

“No, of course not.”

“Why is that the first thing you’d say to her, anyway?” Inuyasha asked quizzically, unintentionally and unknowingly matching Kagome’s expression. “Have you ever tried, ‘hello’?”

“I was invading her mind, Inuyasha. If the only thing I was able to say was, ‘hello’, even I would feel creeped out.” Kikyo replied.

“Alright, but alternatively speaking, if you had enough time to say, ‘the responsibility is ours’, then you had enough time to say, ‘hey, my name’s Kikyo.’”

“Pleasantries aren’t my strong suit. I prefer to get straight to the point.”

Both Inuyasha and Kagome went silent, pursing their lips, still unconsciously wearing matching expressions.

Kikyo grimaced, reading the signal on their faces. “I am aware that I didn’t. It wasn’t exactly my fault, though.”

“No, you’re right. It makes better sense now.”

“I soon realized it was our physical distance that was making communication troubling. While I had discovered the method to slip into your mind, it wasn’t something I could become proficient at so quickly. I had to use the strength of our connection as a guide, and the closer I got to you, the stronger it all became.”

“Right. You began giving me bits and pieces of Naraku. Everything was mysteriously vague, but I understand why now.”

“I just didn’t know how much was too much. I was being overly cautious for the both of us.”

There was a reprieve of silence between the three of them for a moment. It was noticeably thick, uncomfortable. Kagome was missing a huge chunk of information that was going to nag at her brain unless she received something to go off of. “So,” She began. “Midoriko… What makes you so sure?”

“Nothing. I’m not one-hundred percent positive we are actually her reincarnated soul. I can see how it’d be farfetched, and Inuyasha’s expression is practically screaming so.” Kikyo responded.

“Well, I’ve heard of reincarnation, but I’ve never heard of a split soul.” He said, shrugging carelessly as if he didn’t care how offensive his scowl appeared.

“I have. It’s rare, but it can happen. Particularly to a wise or powerful soul. One who’s traveled through a number of vessels and is too strong to be properly contained in a single one anymore.” Kikyo stated. “Midoriko had a defined strength that wasn’t all self-taught. She was a priestess born with experience. Her soul was intended to be a savior, because it was derived from countless, brave spirits before her.”

“And, she told you this?” Inuyasha asked, cocking a brow in skepticism.

“Of course, not.” Kikyo had almost rolled her eyes. “I wish she had so that I had definitive reason, but instead I have to go off of intuition. If it is true, if my soul came from Midoriko, then this unwavering belief isn’t incorrect. This connection I feel to her makes sense. Kagome, do you feel it too?”

“Well, I’m not sure.” She half frowned. “When papa mentioned Midoriko, I felt an undeniable interest toward her, that’s for sure. I just figured it was because she was a lot like me, and I’d never met another conjurer. At the time, I was probably ten or eleven, so I couldn’t help but want to know more about her. You know, curiosity of a kid and all. It was probably the only reason Miroku entertained the idea to seek out more information, and we snuck out of our house, borrowed my friend’s demon cat to take us, and broke into a library in another town. We really didn’t find too much on her, either. It was pretty anticlimactic, to be honest. I remember being extremely disappointed that I didn’t find a well-written biography on her like you would basic philosophers, but knowing the stigma on our kind in modern days, it sort of made sense. But, ever since, Midoriko has rarely crossed my mind.”

“Kagome, I’m the same. The difference is, when I discovered I was a conjurer, it wasn’t so detrimental to keep to ourselves. I did as much research as I could, while I could, and found little mentions of her, along with a few other names I can’t remember to this day. Midoriko stood out to me just the same, but I thought of her few times between then and the time she’d come to me. It was in that moment that I felt a deep connection to her. Maybe -“ Kikyo’s brows furrowed as an idea crossed her mind. “Maybe it was because she’d touched me, in a sense. I felt engulfed by her warm spirit. Please, may I try something?”

Kagome watched Kikyo take a few steps forward. She felt no reason to deny her request so she slipped her hand from Inuyasha’s feeble grip, slowly freeing one finger at a time as she walked forward. Kikyo raised her hand before her and Kagome apprehensively pressed her palm flat against hers. Awkward, quiet moments passed, and it was nothing short of uneventful. While Kagome was initially nervous to see what would happen, everything just sort of fell short. She had even noticed Kikyo’s nose sort of wrinkle disappointedly.

“I’ve got nothing.” Kagome mentioned, pursing her lips.

“Me too. I wonder why she told me to find you, then. What could possibly be the reason for our connection?” Kikyo said, almost troubled. It was perplexing, and she absolutely hated unsolved mysteries. “Unless, it isn’t as simple as merely touching to confirm or deny.”

“I’m not sure. Maybe we aren’t meant to know.”

“That is what I fear.” The older conjurer sighed, adjusting her palm to face upward and hold Kagome’s in a minor gesture of appreciation. While she was avidly discomfited by her inconclusive hypothesis, she’d still managed to explain every crucial detail she’d been withholding from Kagome. Their meeting was coming to an end. There was nothing more to say but goodbye. Respectfully, Kikyo placed her other hand over the top of Kagome’s, enclosing it in her warmth.

Kagome smiled. She was afraid with how pale Kikyo appeared that her blood ran cold and tired. It was pleasant and reassuring to know she was wrong. Returning the kindness, she gently placed her palm on top of Kikyo’s, both of their hands now touching.

Kagome’s heart jolted. Her abdomen tensed. All external sounds were muted. And, the world immediately went dark.

Kikyo was holding her hands tighter than even she was, nearly trembling as at least a dozen women, mass amounts of demons, blazing fire, and a powerful, swirling aura of lavender appeared around them while they stood in the middle of a pitch black orb. It was like an overwhelming sequence of events were playing without pause, thrusting into their minds so quickly that if you blinked, you’d risk missing something important. It was hard to determine relevance, though. Who were these women? Kagome had never seen a single one in her life. They all fought valiantly, each of them with their own unique weapon to fend off their enemies. So desperately, Kagome wanted to ask Kikyo if she was okay, ask her if she knew what was going on, but the two of them were struck stiff, mouths hanging agape.

The demons were wild, frenzied, and furious, slithering in the dark sky, some even flying through Kagome and Kikyo as if they were transparent. The lavender aura forcefully collided with the bleak grounds like storming tidal waves, crashing, receding, rising, and flooding. Sequentially, the women fought from left to right. Each one killed their significant foe, but was brought down by them, as well. Their final move was to look to the next woman, as if passing their duties along. Always, the next woman seemed more determined, more powerful, but no matter the strength in their resolve, their enemies always succeeded in dragging them down with them.

It was by the third that Kagome realized they were conjurers. The purple cascading around she and Kikyo was the same energy she could see when she saturated her arrows with her power. This was a history of legends they were witnessing, each one stronger than the last but still brought to their knees in a puddle of blood. By the last, she faced an enemy with no fear written in her eyes. She wore a stoic expression, armor decorating her torso, a sword on her hip, a bow and arrow in her hands, redefining the meaning of what it was to be a female warrior. Her battle was gruesome, hard to watch but harder to look away from. In the end, she killed her enemy, but bled from a deep wound in her chest.

Her dark eyes turned to she and Kikyo, and in a way to communicate, Kikyo squeezed Kagome’s hands twice, her gaze widening. It was as if she knew who that was. She seemed simultaneously in awe and stunned, and the gasp she’d inadvertently reacted with was clutched captive in her inflated chest. Kagome watched the woman, the final conjurer, limp toward them, blood oozing from her rustic armor, dripping down her leather pants and along the floor. She raised her trembling hands, curling her fingers in a motion that would typically usher them forward, but instead of the two girls moving, their naked spirits stepped from their bodies.

No longer could Kagome breathe. She wasn’t even sure if she was blinking anymore. Before her, she was looking at her raw self. It was a vaporous version, glowing vibrantly white with wispy hues of red swirling about. Her spirit looked back at her with a bright, confident smile, then spun back around to the legendary woman. Kikyo’s spirit was different. It stood tall and bold, much like her current demeanor, but a kind, small smile pushed at her lips when she regarded her own vessel for a moment longer. Kagome could see the tears brimming in the real Kikyo’s eyes, she could physically feel that though the gesture so small, it was revealing a true sweetness Kikyo hadn’t felt within herself in far too long, repressed beneath rubble of heartache and resentment. It was radiant white with smokey clouds of blue tufting about, her long, translucent hair billowing around her like their spirts were held under a body of water.

The dying conjurer, shaking horribly, smiled so sincerely as her last, living act, and as her body fell backwards to the ground, her own spirit stepped out. It was pure white, so saturated it was nearly solid, with flecks of every aura color swiftly whirling around her untouchable body. She extended both hands out to each woman, patient, compassionate, and understanding of the hesitation even their spirits harbored. At the same time, Kagome’s and Kikyo’s vaporous selves reached forward and took the woman’s hands, and in the next second, she split into uneven portions and merged with their bodies, shooting their spirits back within their vessels to return to consciousness.

Kagome blinked her dry eyes, refocusing them as she tried to regain her bearings. Her sights were on their still-grasped hands, and beneath that was the forest floor, twigs and pinecones, dirt and weeds, their legs, their boots. She could hear the breeze, the rustling leaves of the treetops above them, an urgent Inuyasha calling her name. With an exhale, she looked up into Kikyo’s eyes, the both of them holding the same, baffled expression.

As soon as they’d fully registered what they’d just experienced, both women yanked their hands away from each other, hurriedly stumbling back and away from the other to prevent another potential, terrifying vision. Kagome collided with Inuyasha’s chest and his arms instantly grabbed her waist, steadying her as he spoke anxiously.

“Are you okay? What happened, kid?”

She couldn’t answer immediately. Not even Kikyo tried to speak. The both of them looked insanely bewildered, eyes directed right at each other. Inuyasha had tried to pull Kagome away, had tried to reach her, but the opposite conjurer’s creepy, flying snake got in the way and refused to let him near. As much as he wanted to kill the damn thing for stopping him from getting close to Kagome, he figured so long as she was standing, breathing, and generally okay, he’d wait out whatever the fuck was happening.

“Hey - uh - Kikyo?” Kagome finally spoke, albeit waveringly.

“Yeah?” Her tone nearly matched.

“What the fuck was that?”

“I don’t know. I hadn’t anticipated it.”

“Was that -“

“Yeah. That was Midoriko.”

Her jaw dropped just a little further, her brow crinkling, perplexed. “Oh. Okay. Alright.” She replied shakily.

“That wasn’t…” Things were progressively processing for Kikyo, her eyebrows pinching together to create lines in between. Caramel eyes shifted to the side, her teeth gnawing at her bottom lip momentarily. “That wasn’t an even division.”

“No, it wasn’t.” Kagome commented lightly.

“No wonder…” Kikyo breathed. “No wonder. It makes so much sense now. I don’t just lack the heart, but I’ve always lacked the true power. I’ve been giving it my all for so long, and while I’ve made a dent, that’s all I’ve managed. I get it now. I’m truly not strong enough in more ways than one.”

“Wait, I’m confused.” Kagome said.

“So am I.” Inuyasha joined, still holding his companion’s sides while finding it necessary to remind them that he was there. He still had no idea what had just occurred and no one had given a single context clue to inform him of a goddamn thing yet. Kagome turned her head to regard him slightly, but he could tell by her unsteady glance that she couldn’t give him an immediate recap. Not yet.

“You mean to tell me, you didn’t know?”

“Know what? That it wasn’t a fifty-fifty division?”

“Yeah.”

“No. I had no way to confirm that up until now.”

“But, you’d said you were the distraction while I was the weapon. You’d said I was meant to be stronger than you. With what we just saw, I’d assumed that’s what you were referring to.”

“Kagome, I said that simply because I could not do it. To me, that’s what it felt like. I do not have it in me to kill Naraku, and Midoriko told me you were vital to the mission. My assumption was what I’d told you. I keep his attention until you’re ready, I do everything I can to weaken him, and then you’ll complete the task.”

“I’m going to assume you guys got some sort of answer pertaining to being Midoriko’s reincarnations. So, if Kikyo was right and it’s the both of you, what the hell do you mean it isn’t fifty-fifty?” Inuyasha asked, stepping to stand at Kagome’s side as soon as she seemed stable.

“It’s more like seventy-thirty.” Kikyo stated.

“And, who got what?”

“I think you already know the answer to that.” She replied.

“But, what do you mean it makes sense to you? I don’t understand. Aren’t you extremely powerful? You’re able to pull off dark conjurings without your heart being tainted; I don’t feel any darkness coming from you.” Kagome said, sounding sort of flustered and rushed to comprehend Kikyo’s position. “You’ve gotta be stronger than you’re giving yourself credit for. Just because you lack the moral justifications to kill your ex-lover doesn’t make you weak! It makes you passionate!”

“No, Kagome. What I’m saying is, I’m not as strong as I thought I was supposed to be. I kept pushing myself to my limits time and time again but all it felt like I was doing was hurting myself. I thought if I had at least fifty percent of Midoriko’s soul in me on top of my own, then that was more than enough to take down Naraku, but my heart was never there. So, then I considered that maybe it was because I didn’t receive Midoriko’s resoluteness. Maybe it was because I was her brain and you were her heart, so together we would be unstoppable.

“It’s been so long, Kagome. I’ve been giving more of me to this mission than my body can handle. I’ve been sick for years. My shinidamachu keeps me alive with the souls of deceased women, but I can feel the thread I’m hanging on by. I am convinced that if I had not figured out how to call this spirit of the underworld to me, I would have died long ago. I am not using dark magic correctly, and it’s further taking from my light. You may not feel the darkness coming from me, and I believe that’s because that part of Midoriko mutes it, but I certainly do. It’s minimal, but with what’s left of me, it’s substantial. It’s like a congested battle raging within my chest. Do you understand now? Do you get it?” Kikyo, though tearing up sorrowfully, smiled in such a manner of relief. How long had she spent admonishing herself? How long had she cursed herself for thinking she had more in her than she could spare? How many times had she vomited the contents of her stomach out, been reduced to fevers, aches, and profuse sweating? Her expectations on herself weren’t just high because she felt that piece of Midoriko inside of her, but also because she felt the crushing weight of guilt for being partially responsible for Naraku. And, by using dark magic to call to Kagome, to save the life of her sister, to try and stay alive herself, she was unconsciously hastening the pace of her own demise.

Everything clicked. Everything was lining up now. Kagome was key because Kagome not only had the majority of Midoriko’s power, but her own soul, her compassion, her heart was not impaled by darkness. Even with the pain she’s experienced, the trauma that still eats away at her, that reappears whenever a trigger she can rarely identify beforehand causes her to quake, even with the loss, the apathy, the cold moments at night when she questioned if she even believed in a higher power anymore, Kagome avidly held tight to who she truly was. At the end of the day, there was no sense in trying to control what had happened, there was no use in attempting to reverse what had already come to fruition. While it has, in fact, fazed her, it hasn’t changed her negatively. It’s taken so much effort, so much resilience to resist the pull to let it take her, and sometimes smiling took more endeavor than she felt flowing through her veins, but she still stood up. It didn’t matter if Kagome was sobbing, was crashing and burning, was quivering and exhausted. She would cry while she maneuvered her legs beneath her body and pushed herself to stand. The darkness has touched her heart, yes. Whose heart hasn’t it touched in this day and age? What was important was that she fought it back. She physically pushed the darkness away like it was men impeding on her territory. She cried to release that anger and resentment, she yelled to release that heat and vexation, and she never gave up. Never did she leave the battlefield unscathed, but the scar tissue that had formed was what helped her become who she is right here and now. Because, her hardened heart was like a shell that protected the light within.

How could Kikyo not crumble under the pressure she’d been under? How could her eyes ever glimmer with hope when she’d had to willingly forfeit the one person she loved unconditionally all due to a person she’d mistakenly given too much of her heart to? He’d tricked her into trusting him, into caring for him, and repaid her with violence, grief, and taunting laughter. As if inflicting pain on her was an easy task. Even Kagome would be broken if someone she trusted her heart with treated it as an invaluable object, dropping it to the floor and stepping all over it with heavy boots. It was betrayal at its finest.

She was seventeen when they’d met. He’d groomed her. He’d gotten lucky with his pick of young, vulnerable women and groomed her to his liking, but when she finally resisted, he turned on her like she meant nothing. Kagome couldn’t blame Kikyo, and although she persisted, although she squared her shoulders and fought tooth and nail, Kagome understood why her brown eyes were dull and lifeless, and her skin was ghostly white.

Feeling like she was supposed to be capable of so much more, Kikyo had learned to feel unwell about herself. If Kagome were in her position, she couldn’t imagine being comfortable in her own skin. Just recently, she’d struggled with that exact thing, but it wasn’t nearly on the same level as Kikyo’s anguish. It was horrible imagining the burdens sitting on her shoulders, like cinderblocks pulling them down while she pleaded with herself to shrug it off and stand up straight. Kagome wondered if even she’d be able to overcome all that Kikyo had been through.

Everyone’s story was different. Everyone’s strengths and weaknesses were unique. It didn’t make you bigger or smaller than the person to your left. Everyone handled things their own way, and everyone had their breaking point. But, Kikyo’s smile right now was both the saddest and most joyful thing Kagome had ever witnessed from her. It was like some of that weight was finally lifting, some of those insults she’d thrown at herself were finally dissipating, some of the pressure was releasing and all it took was a little bit of clarity.

“It’s conflicting, you know?” Kikyo breathed. “I still have a long way to go. I still have to fight, and I still have to face Naraku. But, it’s liberating to see that my limitations cannot exceed what they are. I don’t have to push myself for the impossible anymore. I cannot rest, but at the same time, it feels like I already am.”

She wouldn’t have to be so forceful on herself from this point forward. Kikyo was giving this fight her all, and she could be at peace with what she had to give now. It was enough. It was more than enough.

“Naraku…” Kagome started. “When was the last time you saw him, Kikyo?”

The conjurer inhaled and exhaled slowly, sucking in her bottom lip as she pondered. “Maybe a couple of years ago. I’ve face his puppets, and some of his personal creations, but him in the flesh? It’s been a while.”

“You haven’t seen him?”

“He wont face me, himself.”

“Maybe because he can’t.” Inuyasha said. “I’m not trying to level with him, and I want to preface this with the fact that I still think he’s a fucking creep, but maybe this is a sign that, much like you, it’s difficult to be the hand that strikes.”

“That is not comforting.” Kikyo admitted, caramel eyes shying downward. “I do not want to think about him loving me. It’s disgusting.”

“That’s fine. Don’t. That doesn’t change the reality of it all. This tells me that you might be his weakness.”

“I am only his weakness because I am a conjurer.”

It wasn’t right to argue with Kikyo right now. It was clearly distressing for her to consider the plausibility of the situation, so Inuyasha shut his mouth, glancing down at Kagome as she regarded him just the same. He could see it in her eyes, too. She felt similarly. Even without knowing Naraku’s recent side of things, she was contemplating the potentiality of what Inuyasha had claimed.

“If you don’t mind, would you keep Kaede out of this?” Kikyo asked, and although she hadn’t looked up, it was clear that she was more talking to Inuyasha.

“Kikyo, I don’t know if I can make that promise.” He stated honestly. He wasn’t harsh, he wasn’t defensive, he was simply replying with honorable intentions.

“Please?” She nearly faltered, clutching her fists at her side as she bowed her head from view.

“I understand why you did it initially, but Kaede isn’t a child anymore. She should have the right to her own freewill, and that includes choosing to know the truth of what happened. I don’t believe she needs sheltering, and she’ll be the first to tell you that.”

“I don’t want her involved.”

“She already is. She was the moment your home was attacked, and the moment you took her eye.”

“But -“

“I get it, Kikyo. I do. I’m not trying to be thoughtless. But, one thing I need you to remember is I’m not on your side. We have nothing more than a mutual understanding and a mutual interest, but you and I are indifferent toward each other. Am I wrong?”

“No, but that’s my sister. That’s my baby sister, Inuyasha.” She declared powerfully, shooting her bleary gaze up at him. “I reserve the right to decide what’s best for her, because no one would know better than I.”

Inuyasha gave a simple shake of his head, and still his expression held no malice. “You gave up that right. You gave up that right the moment you faked your death and left her alone. I know that stings, and I’m really not intending to come off carelessly, but that’s the truth. The version of Kaede in your mind is still that fifteen year old girl, isn’t it? The young teenager she was just before Naraku attacked, right? Well, she’s actually in her mid twenties now. Kaede is an adult, so even if you hadn’t left, that right would still belong solely to her. I’m going to bring it up, Kikyo. I’m going to give Kaede the choice of knowing what actually happened so long ago.”

“Kagome.” She urgently tried, reaching for the opposite conjurer to convince the hanyou otherwise. Kagome’s sights had shied to the ground, hugging her arm inward as she allowed them to talk one-to-one, but she glanced upward now, a small frown marring her features. Kikyo could see it immediately. She could read the look as well as if the expression were written in text, and her chin quivered in response. “Kagome, please.”

“I’m sorry.” Kagome spoke softly, kindly. “Even if I did agree with you, Inuyasha’s right. Kaede deserves to know. She doesn’t need protection, she would be upset if we treated her that way, and truthfully, it would be inappropriate to sit on information like this. The way I see it is, out of the three of us, Inuyasha’s the closest to her -”

“That’s not true.” Kikyo interjected.

“She doesn’t know you’re alive, Kikyo. She will always love you, and you will always love her, but it is true. At this point, you have no connection to her outside of your bloodline. Inuyasha is her friend, and they trust each other. He isn’t bringing it up to disrespect you. He’s bringing it up out of respect for her.”

“You really wont budge?” Kikyo asked, and it was inconclusive as to who that question was directed to. Just in case, both Kagome and Inuyasha shook their heads in reply. “Then, will you please pass along a message? Tell her I don’t want her looking for me. Tell her I will come to her when all is done. Tell her I’m sorry.”

“I can do that.” Inuyasha agreed.

Kikyo could only manage to regard them both with small glances after that. Justifiably, she was upset, but she appeared too physically drained to outwardly react as such.

“Take care of yourself.” She quietly said to Kagome before turning around on her heel and heading off through the trees, her soul collector swirling in the air just behind her.

“You too.” Kagome whispered.

The breeze was the only sound passing around them now, filling the silence as Inuyasha and Kagome were once more alone with one another. It had been moments since Kikyo walked away, and it was sort of like they couldn’t just go back to the way things were before she’d appeared. There was too much to sort through, too many emotions had emerged in that time, and now they were left standing in dense waters.

With a synchronous and guttural sigh from the both of them, Kagome and Inuyasha made their ways down to their butts. They didn’t bother with finding a rock or log to sit on, didn’t bother finding a different location, because moving further right now was simply impossible. So, they made themselves comfortable and promptly sat where they once stood, closing their eyes in defeat as they mulled over the series of events.

“That was exhausting.” Kagome half-whined, crossing her legs and burying her face in her hands.

“Oh, she’s -“ Inuyasha rubbed his forehead, pushing the hair from his face briefly. “She’s a piece of work.”

The two looked at each other. Their tired, concerned expressions shifting to defeated smiles as they sort of just started laughing.

“So, what do you want to do?” She asked, leaning back on her hands. “You want to head back to Kaede’s? We’re not all that far.”

“I��m not sure yet. I can’t make that split-second decision considering the circumstances. Let me think on it for a moment.” He wagered. “In the meantime…”

Though there was no end to that sentence, Kagome could easily grasp what he was looking for. He wanted an explanation. She had to commend him for his patience. On his end, how did everything look? Did she just stand there motionless, or did it seem like something was wrong? If she were in his position, it would have driven her insane not knowing what was going on and then, thereafter, having to wait for any sort of detail to piece it all together.

“I saw Midoriko.” She started. “Actually, I saw all the successors before her, too. At least, that’s what I’m guessing. None of them spoke directly to us. It was more like we were watching the endings of each of their lives, how they fought, how they died, who was responsible, and then their spirit joined with the next person. There was about twelve, and they all died in battle. By the time Midoriko died, her soul was nearly solid. I saw my soul, too. It was - it was weird.”

“I can imagine.” His brows had furrowed, turning his body to fully face hers now. “You guys came out of that looking like you’d seen a ghost, so I guess that makes sense.”

“It was crazy, Inuyasha.” She exclaimed. “Demons were everywhere, it was so dark, and it was like an all out war that we were standing in the middle of. Midoriko pulled our souls from our bodies and joined them, and that’s when we came back.”

“So, seventy-thirty?”

“Yeah.” Her voice dropped. “Something like that.”

“Still shocked you can blow an entire field away now?”

“Honestly, yeah. Everything’s just so surreal right now, it’s hard to think this isn’t made up.” Kagome’s eyes fell to his legs, following the sewn pattern on the hem of his pants to distract herself. “I’m the reincarnation of someone. It doesn’t feel right to say that. Suddenly, it’s like it’s not just me in here. I watched her merge a huge portion of her soul with mine, so that tells me she’s just part of me, but thinking about it feels weird. It’s hard to explain. I just don’t know what to think or how to feel right now.”

“What, are you having an identity crisis? Kid, it doesn’t matter if you’re the reincarnation of someone. You didn’t inherit their personality traits or their thinking patterns. I’m willing to bet you didn’t even inherit their looks, because if that were true, you and Kikyo would look more similar. As far as I saw, the only thing you two had in common was hair color, and even that wasn’t an exact match. What you inherited was strength, and it’s not even a birth right. It’s more like grand potential. You still have to work your ass off to get it, but the chance is there. Your decisions, your actions, your morals, that’s all you. Your tastes, your style, your brain, your heart, that’s you too. Overall, you’re Kagome. You’ve always been Kagome, and you always will be. Now, you just have a bit more to back up your resolve. You know that your individual strength will be supported by a… generator of sorts.” Inuyasha chuckled.

He’d managed to get her to crack a smile. Kagome couldn’t tell if he was bullshitting her to make her feel better, or if he truly believed what he said. He was incredibly honest, though, so she couldn’t help but want to take his word for it and find comfort in it all. Either way, she appreciated his quick wit.

There was still something pulling on her heart. It wasn’t about Midoriko, it wasn’t the fact that she’d just witnessed the reenactment of twelve gory deaths, it was about Kikyo. She was pale with such deep under eye circles because she’d been killing herself. She’d believed for so long that she was supposed to be stronger, and for years she stretched her boundaries thin and her resources dry. All to the point where she had to rely on lost souls of dead women to keep some sort of force in her body. And, still, her battle raged on. Everything she’d said after the revelation was so depressing but seeped from her mouth as if it were relieving, and Kagome had a hard time understanding the solace behind it all.

“Kikyo,” She whispered. “Do you think she’s going to be okay?”

“I’m not worried about her.” He replied, his voice low and soothing.

“But, you heard her. She was sick.”

“Because she didn’t know her limits. Now she does.” Inuyasha leaned forward a bit. He didn’t like the sadness on Kagome’s face, and while he praised her empathy, he wanted to fight it off at the same time. It wasn’t allowed to make her head hang low, it wasn’t allowed to drain her as if the other conjurer’s ailments were her own. “Just like you have to learn your restrictions and understand how to properly use your powers, so does she. Now, she has insight she didn’t have before. Now, she knows that if she doesn’t back off, she’ll get too sick to keep going. Kikyo was under the impression that she needed to work harder to reach her maximum potential, but it was counterintuitive because she was depleting her life source. Now, if she respects her body and her abilities properly, she’ll be able to get healthy again. Then, she’ll be the force to be reckoned with that she was reaching for.”

“The dark magic she’s been using… the effects of it wont go away just like that, though.”

“That’s something she’s going to have to deal with, kid. You win some, you lose some, but she knew what she was doing when she made that choice. She didn’t look like she was having a pity party, so don’t feel like you need to feel bad for her.”

“But, I do. All of this is - it’s becoming so much more real than it was before. I didn’t know it could, but it has. It’s scary.” She locked eyes with the hanyou. “I’m scared.”

Inuyasha couldn’t stop himself. Kagome didn’t look sad or hurt, she didn’t look small or timid, she didn’t even look defeated. She neither trembled nor cried. She just spoke her truth. She told him how she felt, and fear was always a deeper emotion that was hard for anyone to come forward with. Unless it was an involuntary scream given in reaction to a jump scare or a fall, fear was something so often pushed back and hidden behind scowls and broadened shoulders. And, he appreciated being trusted with it. So, he couldn’t stop himself from reaching forward. His fingers tenderly pushed longer strands of her dark hair behind her ear, repeating the motion soothingly while he slipped in soft touches to caress her cheek before gently, so gently, cradling her jaw.

“I know you are. But, you’re safe.” He said, his tone husky.

Kagome leaned into his touch, nodding and sighing out. Her shoulders relaxed some and her brown eyes closed momentarily while she relished in the peace he provided.

“You still know I don’t expect you to protect me, right?” She mentioned quietly, glancing up at his amber eyes. He hadn’t wavered. Inuyasha didn’t pull away, didn’t look away, his expression remaining soft but noble. His fingers curled around the back of her neck and he pulled her closer an inch, his soothing scent washing over her.

“Who said anything about feeling obligated?”

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#inuyasha #kagome #kagome higurashi #inukag #inuyasha fanfiction #inuyasha fanfic #inuyasha fic #inukag fanfiction #inukag fanfic #inukag fic #kikyo #monster #akitokihojo

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actualsunflower · 4 years ago

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I have a huge life update to share rn--- My top surgery consultation is scheduled for July 5th!!!! I’M SO EXCITEDDDDDDDDDDD!!!!!!! I’ve also been vaccinated!! :D ANNNDDD MY LEGAL NAME AND SEX HAVE BEEN CHANGEDD!!!!! :DDDD kind of a lot has happened since I’ve been actually active around here But now I guess is the much harder part, my official surgery date will be set at the consultation, but there’s a required $1,000 fee to set the official date for my surgery. The $1,000 covers a portion of the surgery as well, and the base price for the surgery is $8,500. I’ll get the exact price on July 5th, but that’s their base rate. I need to earn or raise at least $1,000 of the total cost before July 5th to secure my surgery date!! I’m going to take commissions when I can, I have 1 almost entirely complete right now and then I can take on more! I’m gonna have a more detailed explanation of everything under the cut so this isnt super super long so pls read under there if you want all the deets Pls consider commissioning me or donating so I can get top surgery!! read more for more info and me being sappy abt my emotions--

I’ve waited so long for this and I’m fricken excited, it’s the last step in transitioning for me! It really means everything for me, I feel like I’ve been waiting forever and I can’t believe it’s finally happening !?!!! I am forever in everyones debt here and everywhere because I never wouldve even been able to start hrt if it wasn’t for the help here. I’m just so. Overwhelmed with emotion and gratitude I cant even tell how many times Ive cried and just felt like... actual gender euphoria since starting t..

So abt the appointment, I’m getting surgery with Dr. Javad Sajan, and I’m getting button hole double incision. Im serious his before and after pictures make me so emotional I am so happy and emotional for those people and I cannot wait to feel that kind of happiness and relief. But a big problem about this for me, is that he is in Seattle, and I live in southern Oregon. I can’t drive, so I have to rely on someone else, or take the train from a nearby city (Eugene). My consultation is over skype (which is amazing and a huge relief), but my pre-op appointment is in person, and of course so is the actual surgery. We’re planning on taking the train from Eugene because it seems to be the most reliable way to get there and back each time. Aside from my surgery, I’ve got to cover the price of the trip there and back (twice, once there and back for pre-op, once there and back post op,) and the price of a place to stay during the pre-op appointment. Right now my goal cost wise, is just the booking and base appointment price ($8,500, that’s including the $1,000 appointment setting deposit, which is just a part of the surgery cost and the base covers everything, surgery, the stay at the hospital, nips, anesthesia, everything). The full price is due at the pre-op appointment, and that’s the final bill. My insurance doesn’t cover anything because it’s out of state and county, and because its informed consent model. (which Im choosing because Id have to battle insurance for 2 years minimum if I was getting the surgery in Oregon, but I am very set on my surgeon after considering everything and calling many offices and looking through many subreddits and talking to ppl who’ve gotten it here and there) A lot of this information is on their site as well. As soon as I have my consultation, I will be right here to update everything and set the exact price, which I’ll also be including the price of transportation and staying there. As for paying, I’ve been applying to so many jobs, and even when I get interviews I never hear back from them. People keep telling me to stop admitting I’m disabled but I just can’t do that. Lying about being disabled doesnt make me abled and they don’t get that. I’m still trying though, and I am not going to stop trying until I get a job. But until then commissions and donations are my only source of income. I’ve been struggling getting help psychologically, because I have schizophrenia, and because I was diagnosed with adhd as a child, but I think I’m actually autistic rather than having adhd, and it’s been really hard trying to get diagnosed because I keep getting pushed off or told I cant have autism because I have paranoid schizophrenia or because its “just adhd”, but the medications are just making everything worse, and Ive tried more than one already. My medications for schizophrenia have started not working right, and when my schizophrenia meds get under control, it makes my adhd (?) significantly worse. Genuinely, I really dont know what’s happening. I really dont know whats going on with me right now and it’s hard and confusing and I keep swinging back and forth and it’s making everything deteriorate so fast I cant keep up with it. It seriously effects my ability to do anything at all, even art, and its been like this for the last 6 months. I am trying though, still trying to work, still trying to get a job, still trying to get a real diagnosis and help and Im not going to stop any of that. But I think getting top surgery as soon as possible is going to help me too, because dysphoria has just gotten so much worse focusing on my chest since t has started helping me pass and look so much more masculine. It’s like all my attention went from everything DIRECTLY to my chest and its almost unbearable. Even now since my sex has been legally changed I keep having the horrible thoughts of ‘why, why I am a man Im not supposed to be this way’ and shit idk. I’m getting too serious right now I have an appointment with the dmv to get a new updated driver’s permit with my name and fixed legal sex, and when I do that I can set up a bank account (I cant yet bcs I dont have a valid id/ id at all because I actually lost the other one and have been carrying around that paper one you’re supposed to destroy that is literally from 2016) and when I do, I’m going to set up a proper gofundme for my surgery and the travel expenses, but for now all I have is my paypal and online banking savings account. I’ll get that up asap once I have my id, though (Ive already been to the bank with my notarized judge passed papers and they wont take those yeah I know it’s stupid its like the same thing) But uhhh yeah! Thank you for reading this far if you did lol and considering helping me bcs my god, it literally means everything to me. pls share hehe

#commission info #donation post #i know it seems like all i do is cry about needing money #but my god. bitches really do be needing money #its me im bitches #top surgery fund #help yer local transmasc flower #pls

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charlieisacastle · 4 years ago

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Edge of Sleep Plot Holes

please do not read this post if you don't want spoilers or noticing plot holes ruins your experience of the story!

its not my intention to shit on teos. i just thought some ppl might find this interesting like i do!

okaaaaay fellow peeps that pay too much attention to story plots!

lets start with the tame ones shall we,

1. name confusion:

this one is most definitely fixed in the show but in ep2 they call the 16 year old John. but in ep3 when linda is doing the autopsy she calls the 16 year old Dewain. i think they accidentally mixed up his name with the old patient with heartburn.

2. papua new guinea:

linda just k n o w s where the island dave is referring to is and how long its gonna take to get there with a plane???? how???? we dont get ANY description where linda does a quick google search or idk any other clue as to how she'd know that. i hope they give her a phone in that scene in the show so she can do a quick search cuz that was just weird to me tbh.

now on to actual plot holes...mostly about linda...they definitely could've worked on her section more tbh!

3. internet:

in ep2 linda asks dave to give her a ride bc her phone isnt working. since they can still call each other and even linda herself calls the hospital later in the story, im assuming she means her internet isnt working so she cant get an uber.

but that raises the question of how linda managed to google those victims' names in ep5 if they didnt hv any internet before. now i dont know how things work in US so maybe there is a very simple explanation but where i live if your cell data isnt working then the wifi isnt working either.

4. linda and dave finding out that sleeping kills people:

when linda calls the hospital to confirm her hypothesis that sleeping is whats killing people and she finds out that her co worker is dead, why doesnt she call the hospital again to let them know?

they had already set up tension between her and the doctor/other nurses so itd still make sense for the stroy if they dont believe her and leave. but it doesnt make sense for linda's character who is written as the "voice of reason" and the "calm and collected one" to not share her findings with the people in the hospital.

in my humble opinion, the scene where dave calls matteo by the hospital hoping he is still awake, shouldve also happened when they find out that sleep is the answer...or rather the anti-answer lol.

if linda and dave called the hospital and matteo by the car it wouldve made much more sense and also shown us a more compassionate side of them both. now being in shock and confused by all of this is absolutely an option for dave but linda was calculating from the start so its very out of character for her to not warn others.

6. night owls:

a lot of people are awake at 4 am. some ppl work night jobs just like dave and matteo and some hv insomnia or woke up for an early jog. it absolutely makes sense for most of those ppl to be back to their houses and asleep by 10 am but linda and matteo driving around the city and not seeing A Single Person or Any Shops open at 7 am is impossible. some drug stores are opened 24/7 and even if the cashier is asleep/dead, the doors are still open. not to mention that some ppl r driving back from their night shift around that time.

if the time when they drive into the city was around 11 am most of these problems wouldve been solved bc by then most ppl would be asleep.

5. the timezones:

if the...lets call it 'the attack' was at 4 am in california then its 7 am in the east coast and the day has already started in the other side of the country like nyc and dc. not to mention the rest of the world. in the first day at least half of the world is still alive and alerted about the fact that the other half is dead.

and even in the west coast some ppl r still gonna be awake and scared. yes most of those ppl wont survive by the third day but there would definitely be survivors in the first day or so.

other people can and probably will figure out that sleep is whats killing everyone just like linda and dave did and even tho most of them wont hv the supplies our protags hv (like the modafinil or a private airplane with a trained pilot...or a whale telling them where to go...) some could actually hv even more physical resources than dave and the group.

there r 7+ BILLION ppl in the world to assume that these four r the only ppl (other than the tribe of course) that r still alive especially in the first few days is ridiculous.

now why does that matter? bc dave is presented as the middle man. the one who is both empathetic but also mostly logical. he isnt too positive neither too negative, but realistic. so for him to constantly say and genuinely believe that they r the only ppl alive breaks the immersion and makes the story feel artificial. for someone like dave not to wonder what happened to other ppl who r out there struggling and instead believe everyone is already dead by the second day is unrealistic and too apathetic for his character.

not to mention that it makes the world way too centred around our protags. that usually happens when most of the story is from the first person perspective and i KNOW that its supposed to make us feel as isolated as they r feeling but again, its a bit too much and makes the story unbelievable and artificial. instead of living on earth they r living in a snow globe if that makes sense.

6. parasomnia + REM sleep behavioural disorder:

this one is less of a plot hole and more of a "plz explain this in season 2" thing.

there r other ppl with dave's disorder. so does that mean the old man also contacted them? did any of them join the trible in the island?

or is dave special like they foreshadowed by the fact that the tribal people had dreamt of him?

(also i know we hv spirit monsters in this story so not everything is "logical" but does the fact that there r sleep walkers mean that the ppl that r dead can be revived? bc they were walking and talking and u usually cant do that if ur brain is burnt...)

I NEED ANSWERS

k.bye.

#lets talk about teos and feel free to add any plotholes i missed #ive listened to this story more than 200 times #no im not exaggerating #i was VERY hyperfocused on it for awhile and also i just love fantasies and world building #so yeah i LOVE this story #i wouldn't care this much about the details if i didnt #markiplier #unus annus #the edge of sleep #edge of sleep #teos #mark fischbach #dave torres #mark edward fischbach #charlie.txt

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wallwriterstuff · 4 years ago

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Our Dearest Moments ||Alec Volturi x Reader||

Warnings: None, this is nice and fluffy

Words: 2964

Summary: A request for @royalvolturisblog Forever is a long time to live, an occasionally a little reflection upon who we are and how we got here is needed to maintain our sanity, and decided some very important answers to equally as important questions.

Sometimes, life is not all we expect it to be. Sometimes, life is cruel. Sometimes, life is disappointing. For me? I can safely say it’s none of these things. My life had always been easy, the best of everything and wanting for nothing. As doting as he was, my father had spoilt me rotten and never let me work hard for anything, never given me life skills that most normal people would need to live a functioning, adult existence. Why would I need them? Money was not a problem for my family nor would it ever be, so why go to the hassle of building a life where a nine to five job sapped the life from me when I could, quite sustainably, simply enjoy my life to its fullest at my loving father’s expense? Why make your child work if there was no need? I would not settle for a subpar life as nothing in my life had ever been less than luxurious.

That was my life in a nutshell. It was flat screen TVs in a ginormous bedroom which would have fit some people’s houses inside it, four poster beds and every new games console, every makeup palette fresh off the manufacturers line and vacations to the most remote and lavish corners of the Earth. I never even had to ask for some of it, my father simply expected I would want things and provided them without request – as those of guilt soul are wont to do.

“Well? What do you say?” Alec asked, his lips pressing the gentlest of kisses against my shoulder. I hummed, leaning back against him.

“Forgive me, I was hardly listening to a word you said, my mind is…elsewhere.” I admitted. Alec squeezed my hips, arms widening around my waist to tighten his hold on me.

“You’re ignoring me now? How very rude. I thought we were passed this.” He chided, though his tone was more playful than scolding.

“Call it introspection.” I sighed. Alec chuckled.

“Introspection? Now that sounds dangerous. I happen to like you as you are, if you haven’t noticed.” He teased, pressing a kiss to my temple. I turned in his arms with a smile. He stood a little taller than I did but I didn’t mind; it always gave me the best angle of the soft curve of his jawline, the fullness of his lips that didn’t like to stray from my own for too long. It also gave me the perfect excuse to nestle my head against his collarbone, escape those all seeing crimson eyes of his. Alec had seen right through me from the very start.

“I happen to know, you inform me every day…you sap.” I smiled a little as he lifted a hand to play with my hair.

“Then why decide to be introspective? What is there to reflect on? What would you wish to change?” he questioned.

“I already have changed,” I pointed out, lifting my hand to play with his coven crest, “I actually work for a living now.” Alec actually laughed at that, pulling back to feign shock.

“You? Spoilt? I would never have guessed.” he teased. He wasn’t wrong. Even now my room was lavish, silks and fine fabrics and luxuries filling every corner, but at least this time I had worked for it. Being a part of the Volturi was a privilege in itself but it required hard work, it required proving your worth and working for the greater good of your species. It was rather odd, how I had turned my entire life philosophy around in the span of a few centuries. Maybe it was Alec, making me humbler and wiser. Perhaps I owed some of it to Vladimir and Stefan, who had taught me to fight for what I wanted rather than throw money at it. I could still remember that fateful day, though faces and names were murky now in my ‘old age’.

Samuel and Scott were two boys I had craved the presence of a lot in my human days, though I couldn’t honestly tell you why anymore. Perhaps it was the familiarity of money, or the comfort that came from knowing someone of your status and experience walked alongside you and understood your world view, but they were the closest friends I had for a long time. What was better than going on vacation with your friends at the closing of exam season? Rome had been beautiful, the sights enamouring and the food…I suppose it was okay – my tastebuds had changed since then. I could still vividly recall the kind of heat I wasn’t accustomed to back home, and the dazzling brightness of the sunlight that spotted my vision and made my ever blurry human memories seem even worse quality somehow. I also remembered laughter, and warmth, the kind of warmth that flooded your soul and felt like a good hug on the worst of days. It was strange, the things that stayed with you.

Then there was too much warmth. The process to immortalise one’s body came at the cost of burning the eternal soul till only a shell was left behind, petrified and cold. That was how Stefan put it at least in his usual, grim way. The memories of my time with them had most certainly been the most vivid, since I was very much a vampire by then and I could remember every little glance, every change in the tone of their voice. Those days….those days were full of anger. My doting father taken from me, my best friends none the wiser as to where I had gone and yet never once pleading on the news for my safe return as most others did for their loved ones. Through time and trial and error, Vladimir and Stefan had shown me that I had actually lost nothing in this life, only gained. I was stronger, swifter, better than any human version of myself could ever be.

Then came the gift.

It had been purely accidental at first. Another boy taken in by Stefan only to be turned (in what I would later find out was an attempt at raising a small army) was similarly gifted. He had the quite remarkable ability to make anything he touched smaller or larger, depending on what he wished it to look like, and unintentionally I had taken his gift to use for myself. He hadn’t stayed much longer after that, Vladimir and Stefan reluctant to let him part but allowing it – only because they knew the Volturi would send the Guard after an unruly newborn causing havoc. Why should they need him when they had me? They had been the ones to train my gift, an enhanced trait from my human life they had said – as I had taken what I wanted then I could do so now with startling efficiency. By the time Alec had arrived I had not truly gotten it under control, hence my confrontation with Jane.

It turns out the unruly newborn had been smarter than we thought, and the Masters’ had dispensed the Guard to see about this gifted vampire the Romanian’s had collected. At this point it had been months since we’d even seen the boy, years since Vladimir and Stefan had stolen me from Rome’s streets on one of their daring missions taking them close to Volturi territory. My gift had made me indispensable to them, though I like to believe that on some level they cared for me as a person, given all the gifts and birthday celebrations they had indulged in for me. There had been trips and movie nights all at my request, and affectionate gestures such as hugs and chaste kisses to my forehead that had lulled me into the false sense of security that I was where I ought to be.

“Your mind keeps wondering. I happen to be trying to ask you a very important question.” Alec was sounding a tad frustrated with me now and my eyebrows furrowed.

“I’m sorry, really, I just…do you ever have one of those days where you feel like you can’t escape thinking about the past? Thinking about the things that led you to this moment?” I sighed. It was perhaps a tad dramatic, perhaps even silly of me to be this distracted by such errant thoughts, but they wouldn’t leave me be. Alec stared at me for a long moment, and then he tucked a lock of stray hair behind my ear and swept me off of my feet to seat us on the sofa before our fireplace. Draped across his lap as I was, he had made me his sole focus and gave me his undivided attention now.

“I can’t say I do, so explain it to me. What are you thinking of in particular?” he questioned. My head tilted slightly, the briefest of smiles tugging at my lips.

“Demetri fixing up his nose the day we met.” I giggled. Alec snorted, eyes rolling.

“Vladimir did hit him rather hard.” He agreed. The commotion hadn’t much bothered me, my head buried too deep in my book to really be bothered by such trivial things, but then he had screamed. It was a blood-curdling kind of scream, the sort you heard in slasher movies when the victim is disposed of. It was the first time I had seen Jane’s gift in action, and the only time since I had stolen it. I had only meant to shove the menacing little blonde away from the man I had grown to see as a second father, only to accidentally set her own gift on her. She had crumpled like a straw doll, screaming all the while, and anyone else who came at me went down the same way.

Felix, Demetri and Jane just writhed on the stone floor while I tried and failed to keep Alec at bay, the mate bond I had unknowingly just set with him the moment we locked eyes preventing me from hurting him and vice versa. His mist had danced at the edges of my feet as he gave me more warnings than I was sure was customary of a Guard with his reputation until I managed to calm the raging inferno in my own mind, and douse the flames in theirs.

“Then you misted me.” I recalled, scowling at him slightly. Alec looked amused.

“You were getting rather violent,” he pointed out, “I’d merely suggested an even trade, their lives for you accompanying us to Volterra, and poor Demetri lost his nose a second time that day.” I could still recall the crunch of his skin beneath my knuckles as I vowed to never let them take me anywhere, and now two centuries on I couldn’t bear the thought of being anywhere other than in Alec’s lap. His hand skimmed my arm as I dropped my head on his shoulder.

“You think he would forgive me for that by now.” I said. Alec chuckled and kissed my forehead.

“Not in a million years, his ego is more fragile than his nose.” He murmured against my skin. I hadn’t been happy for a very long time after that. Dragged away from my home against my will and told it was all for a mate bond I hadn’t been ready to accept. I was cruel, very cruel, and I called Alec all sorts of filthy names. Neither him nor Jane had ever really done me wrong, yet still I rarely addressed them as anything other than ‘witch’ or ‘terrors 1 and 2’. I spent the majority of my days avoiding as many people as I could really, though I found Marcus to be quite calming and consequently ended up with the Masters’ more often than not. It was with their encouragement I ended up confronting my two-arch nemesis, their gentle prodding that had led me into Alec’s arms in the end.

“God I’m sure your mother would weep if she could see you now!”

“She did! She wept and pleaded with the villagers tying us to the stake until they caved her head in with stones. How about yours?”

I cringed slightly, the memory as fresh as if it had been just yesterday. Jane had looked ready to roast me that day, while Alec had cut me down to size with his words. Their mother’s fate, their deaths, they were nothing such of tragic incidents that should never have occurred, not to these two. It had triggered a memory I had thought had faded as most other human memories had, though I could see no eyes in the soft, familiar features of my mother’s face given I couldn’t remember the colour of them. She had been reaching for me in my dreams for years, that single bloodied hand protruding from the wreckage of a car only I had escaped from haunted me to this day. How far I had strayed from the woman she would have wanted me to become.

“How could you forgive me?” I asked finally. Alec raised his eyebrows.

“For punching Demetri in the face? Quite easily. I found it entertaining.” He answered.

“Not for that! For…everything else. I was nothing short of difficult and downright cruel to you.” I reminded him. Alec tilted his head, quietly making a noise of understanding. It wasn’t so long ago Alec had asked me to marry him, at least, five years didn’t seem all that long for a vampire. He shifted till I was facing him, straddling his lap and chest to chest with our noses almost touching.

“I forgave you because I loved you, even then. I didn’t see cruelty, I saw hurt that never truly healed. Our scarred hearts were made for one another, even if you weren’t ready to accept it.” He murmured.

“But all those awful names I called you…” I sighed, closing my eyes as shame ate away at my insides. Alec chuckled.

“Some were quite inventive, I’ll give you that,” he said wryly, “Y/N…you replaced every bad memory with a good one. The time you gifted me that bookmark because you knew how much I loved to read? The memory of our first walk in the Garden’s together where you taught me all about gardening and when the best time of year to plant certain flowers was. Our first kiss, the first time you held my hand even. You made the effort to make it right.” He kissed my nose sweetly before capturing my lips with his. His every kiss had been intoxicating since our very first one, the sweet taste of his mouth on mine addictive, the way his lips moved a hypnotic dance I could forever get lost in performing with him over and over. When we parted I pressed my forehead to his.

“I do love you, you know.” I swore. Alec flashed me a smile.

“I know, you impossible little brat,” he teased, tugging my hair lightly, “Now will you please listen to what I’ve been so desperately trying to ask you all day now?” My eyes rolled, but I nodded.

“Make it worth my while, baby.” I teased.

“Don’t, you know I hate when you call me that,” he warned, though his lips twitched upwards, “Y/N, my impossibly stubborn, talented little beauty. I’ve never been in doubt you love me, and I hope I’ve never given you reason to doubt that I love you just as much. You challenge and enrage me daily, yet you are also my greatest comfort and strength when I need you to be. So stop being so bloody awkward and marry me already!”

“That wasn’t a question.” I pointed out, eyebrows raising. Alec groaned exasperatedly, his head falling back against the back of the sofa. My head tilted slightly.

If my day of reflection had done anything, it was show me how far I had come. I was no longer the same spoiled little girl I had once been. I had become a protector of our kind, and my journey with Alec had humbled my tongue. I was perhaps wiser, far kinder. I had not felt worthy of the mantle before but seeing him beneath me now, my love so ardent in his affection and persistent in his showing of it, I realised I had no need to be afraid – I had proven my worth to Alec tenfold. Gripping his chin, I forced him to look at me. He looked rather frustrated.

“This is the modern era Alec,” I scolded, “I will never say yes to your proposal.”

“But-“

“Because you are going to be saying yes to mine. Marry me, Alec.” I didn’t ask, more stated it. I knew he wouldn’t say no. With another exasperated groan he shook his head.

“You do make me work for it don’t you? So long as I slip a ring on your finger I really don’t care who asks who. Fine, I’ll marry you.” He leaned in but I pressed a single finger to his lips, preventing him from kissing me. His eyebrows arched into his hairline, almost as if to say ‘what now?’.

“It’ll be a Winter wedding.” I decided. A brief smile flashed his lips upwards.

“Spring.” He retorted.

“And the bridesmaids will wear emerald green.” I continued.

“Peach.” He countered, his smile growing as I pulled my finger from his lips.

“Oh and I want diamonds Alec, they’re a girls best friend.” I grinned, our noses brushing now.

“You’ll get a cereal box ring and be happy with it for all the waiting you’ve made me do.” He huffed. I didn’t get to protest, not when he smothered my mouth with his own, both of us laughing as we let the past be and looked forward to our future instead.

#twilight #twilight fanfiction #volturi #alec volturi #x reader #alec volturi x reader #vladimir #stefan #the romanians #dracula 1 and 2

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javierpenaspinkshirt · 5 years ago

Text

A Hundred Questions.

Mando x Reader - One Shot

Warnings: it’s fluffy and it’s soft and it’s a lil bit sweet. Loose Star Wars lore. Brief mentions of death. Dodgy formatting.

Words: 5.2k (woah, right?)

Summary: Mando is a touch starved man who just wants to be loved send tweet.

A/N: I wrote this while I was meant to be writing several reports for work so if you enjoy this soft rambling lmk so I can tell my boss I didn’t waste my whole day.

A Hundred Questions

It had been 6 months, you worked out, since you had met the Mandalorian.

He had landed on Jakku for supplies, knowing it was on an old trade route but also knowing it was only a mere few years on from the battle that had finally seen the Empire fall. He had assumed it would be largely empty and fairly quiet and he was right.

Mando had docked the Razor Crest in one of the bays you were overseeing that day. You’d had to stop your jaw dropping when you had seen him walking down the ramp of his ship towards you. You had seen a lot in your life, but never a Mandalorian. He had sauntered over to you and tipped a few credits into your hand.

‘I need some rewiring done’ his voice was gruff and tired, ‘will this be enough to get it done before I return?’

You looked at the credits in your hand, it was more cash than you had seen in years.

‘Absolutely’ you replied, ‘I’ll have her like new in no time’.

He nodded and walked passed you to leave. You turned to watch him go only to see what looked like a large green ear sticking out of the backpack the Mandalorian was wearing. You knew Mandos were often bounty hunters so you thought nothing more of it, only that it was none of your business.

You did your job and fixed up the ship as best you could. Your dad had been a mechanic before the war. He’d taught you everything he knew and though you had groaned and whined at the time, you were so grateful to him now. You had lost both of your parents and your siblings in the Battle of Jakku a few years ago. You had only survived because you had been underground working in the mines as the battle had begun. You and your fellow miners had hidden and waited out the siege. Eventually you had resurfaced to learn that the battle had been won by the Republic, but the fighting continued on for months until the last Imp dropped.

Mercifully you had survived the onslaught, but not everyone in your company had had your luck. Though you used the term ‘luck’ loosely.

The Imperial forces had arrived on Jakku months before the battle ensued, and in that time they had terrorised the locals. Your existence was an insult to them and they would assault and even kill residents simply for being there. But when the the last one finally dropped you couldn’t bring yourself to celebrate. You were on your own, and you had to get off this planet.

You had spent years working as a mechanic in one of the few lasting ship ports and had saved as much money as you could. You were hoping to be able to afford a small ship just to be able to get the hell away from Jakku and find somewhere, anywhere, else to be.

So when the Mandalorian returned from his trip for supplies you figured you would try and rinse him for a few extra credits. Every little helps, right?

He was walking with purpose towards you and the Crest, bag stuffed full of supplies and a tiny green child, like nothing you had ever seen before, waddling behind him.

‘Is it done?’ He asked, stopping to stand beside you and admire your handy work.

‘Yeah all done no problem, but I’m going to have to charge you for parts’ you wiped your hands on your overalls and put your hands on your hips to look up at him, hoping it made you look important and serious.

‘I’m not paying for anything extra’ the helmet turned to look down at you, ‘I asked for wiring, nothing more’.

His voice was low and gravelly. It made your stomach flip and you lost your cool.

‘Hey you asked me to fix what I could and I did, this thing is gonna fly better than it did when it was built, mate! I need the money for parts!’

‘Absolutely not’ was the only response you received before he bent down to scoop up the strange green child who was cooing at his feet, and began to walk aboard the ship.

‘Wait!’ You called, running up the gang plank to catch him ‘please! Please I need this, please! You don’t understand’ the desperation caught in your throat as you ran passed him and stood in front of him to stop him walking up any further.

‘Please’ you lowered your voice and looked around to make sure none of the other mechanics, or god forbid the boss, could hear you pleading, ‘please, I have to get out of here, I need the money’.

You couldn’t see his eyes, but you knew the Mandalorian was staring you down, making a judgment of you and deciding whether you were worth his time.

‘What are you like with kids?’

Your eyes widened, ‘excuse me?’

He held the little green child close to his chest and looked down at him. The baby cooed at him and made a little grabby motion at the helmet.

‘Can you look after a child?’

The truth was you’d never met a child you liked. You had had several siblings before the war and as the oldest you had often been stuck babysitting, and rather than hone any kind of parental instinct you may have had it had dragged it behind the barn and shot it dead. You adored your siblings of course, and you missed them endlessly, but you would rather have been their sibling than their surrogate parent. Children were your nightmare, but if the small green boy was your ticket out of here… Then you guessed you were going to have to learn to like him.

‘I can’ you agreed, ‘but I’m not a glorified babysitter y’know, I’m a mechanic and a damn good one!’

‘I know, you would be a valuable crew mate. I don’t need a babysitter, I need a mechanic and someone I can trust around the child’, his helmet dropped to look at the baby again. If you could have seen his face you would’ve seen the smile spread across it as he looked down at his little foundling.

‘Trust is very important to me’ you explained, ‘I promise I wont let you down’.

The Mandalorian straightened and sighed, ‘go grab whatever you need and meet me back here in an hour. If you’re not here, I will leave without you’.

Your eyes widened and you darted off the ship calling out behind you that you’d be back soon.

That had been 6 months ago. Since then you had been travelling with Mando and the little boy and it was the freest you had ever felt. You’d fallen into comfortable routine with your time split between him piloting and securing jobs and you maintaining the old ship, keeping her flying and keeping her safe. You shared taking care of the child and, despite your initial reservation, you had fallen in love with the little creature. He was different to human children, he needed more supervision than care and was capable of moving himself around the ship with alarming speed. He’d often sit beside you, fiddling with bolts or some of your tools while you fixed things and he’d watch with those big inquisitive eyes as you grumbled about the mess the wiring was in or rambled on with stories of your childhood. He made you miss your siblings but you pushed those painful feelings aside whenever they arose, instead choosing to tell the little one stories of happy times with your family, especially your dad. He would smile and cock his head as you spoke to him.

Occasionally Mando would listen from the cockpit if you were close enough for him to hear. You never really spoke to him about your family… but that was largely because he didn’t ask. Usually you’d sit with him of an evening once the child was asleep. He’d be in the pilot’s seat and you would sit behind him and ask him a hundred mindless questions. Sometimes he’d answer, sometimes he’d just grunt, but he enjoyed the way your mind worked. He had explained to you early on about the rules about his helmet and he had been relieved when you had immediately respected them. You would make the occasional joke,

‘Bet you’re a gungan under there’ you’d smirk.

Like he hadn’t heard that one before. But he didn’t mind because it was you. You would ask him about his armour, about the creed, you’d even once asked about his family. He’d revealed that he was a foundling but nothing more. You had got the hint and stopped your questioning.

This evening was no different. Mando had secured a job on some outer rim planet you’d never even heard of and you were only an hour or so away from landing. The child had nodded off so you’d left him in the cot in the hull where the two of you usually slept, leaving the door open so you could hear if he stirred from the cockpit.

You resumed your usual position in the co-pilot’s chair and started your usual barrage of questions. Mando grunted at most of them and answered a few.

‘So tell me then, Mandalorian’ you crooned ‘when was the last time you took the helmet off?’

‘This morning’ was the typically blunt answer.

‘Okay but when?’

He spun round in his chair to look at you, beskar glinting, ‘this morning when you were feeding the child’.

‘I’m gonna have to get sneakier if I’m going to ever catch a glimpse of you aren’t I?’ you chuckled.

He let out a gentle exhale. He knew you were joking, he trusted you never to look as you promised you wouldn’t. But he still felt a well of anxiety when you’d joke.

You sensed you’d gone too far and backtracked, ‘sorry I shouldn’t have said that, I was only playing. I would never, Mando. I promise, I owe you my life I’m not going to be the one to ruin yours’.

He cocked his head to the left gently and you hoped it was because he was smiling.

The truth was you hadn’t ruined his life. You’d turned it upside down a little but he didn’t mind. After the events of the last year, protecting the child, having to go on the run, having to face down Moff Gideon and almost dying… being out here with you and his foundling was the escape he craved. He had mentioned Cara to you briefly but he offered no detail as to the origin of the child or any stories about what had lead him to arrive on Jakku and meet you.

He wasn’t ready to talk about it yet and he knew you understood. Though you could question him for hours about all sorts of inane crap, you were good at taking no for an answer.

But the one thing you would bring up consistently was his helmet. He knew you were curious. You wanted to know who the man under the Beskar was and he understood that. He got to look at you all day, see the way you smiled at the child or the way your brow furrowed when you were thinking. He got to see your body, clothed of course, but he got to see the way your hips swayed when you walked or the way the muscles in your arms worked when you were lying down trying to fix something on the ship. You hadn’t even seen the colour of his skin.

He wanted to show you more of him. He had slowly and cautiously admitted feelings for you to himself but he wasn’t ready to admit them to you yet. In the last month or so he had started putting his forehead against yours, especially before he went to bed. You would get up to go down to the hull to curl up with the baby while he would stay upstairs in the sleeping quarters behind the cockpit. But he’d make a point of gently pulling you to him and putting his forehead against yours for just a moment. You never questioned it but he could feel the way your body would tense when he held your arms and then relax as he gently tapped the helmet against you. He didn’t think you knew what this gesture meant and he wasn’t going to explain it. But he hoped you were getting the hint without him having to say anything.

He was still looking at you, waiting for your next question of the night when there was an almighty thump and the ship shuddered violently. Without thought or hesitation you were out of your seat and down the ladder into the hull. The little one had woken up at the jolt and squealed as you scooped him up and ran back up to the cockpit.

Another clang and all the lights bar the dashboard control and the dodgy LED emergency lighting went out. The cockpit was dark save for the blue lights of the dashboard and the child squealed again and clung to your clothes. You sat down in the co-pilot chair and hung for dear life, holding the child as tightly as you dared.

‘Hold on’ Mando commanded as he threw the ship around, dodging what you could now see were meteors and space junk flying at the Crest at alarming speed. The planet you were headed towards was well in view now and you hoped to gods that Mando could get you there without doing too much more damage to the ship.

A few more minor knocks and a few hisses from the engines and Mando managed to land on a baron plain, covered with what must be ash, with no sign of a moon or sun and a dark cloud swelling.

‘This… is where the job is?’ You looked out of the window, holding the child up so he could see where his father had almost crash landed you.

‘Yes. Sorry I shouldn’t have taken my eye off the controls… the meteors knocked the lights and the heat out’ He flicked a few switches but to no avail and slumped back in his chair.

‘Can you fix it?’ He turned the chair to look at you.

‘I can but not until morning, its dark and I wont be able to see properly even with a flashlight. I’d have to go outside to see the damage but if I’m honest I don’t really wanna do that tonight… even with you standing guard’.

Mando agreed and stood up, ‘it’s going to be too cold for you and the kid in the hull tonight, you’ll have to stay in my quarters’.

A lump caught in your throat, ‘with you?’ You hadn’t meant for it to sound quite as eager as it did but it was out there now.

‘No’ was the matter of fact reply, ‘I’ll be here, I can sleep in the chair.’

‘No way, Mando, if you’re going on a job tomorrow you need to sleep, you can have the child in your room, I’ll stay here’ you stood up to make a point.

He sighed. The baby whimpered gently, he was cold. You held him close and wrapped him in the cloak you were wearing. It used to be an old cape Mando wore but it had been ripped and was way too short for him. You adopted it and patched it up and proudly wore it everywhere, it was your little piece of him. Now you used it to wrap the little one tightly to try and warm him.

The temperature outside was freezing and without the heat in the ship you would all be feeling the cold in no time.

Mando finally stirred, ‘I have an idea.’

You looked at him as he sunk down on to his haunches in front of you. He took hold of the loose end of the cape you were holding the baby in and took a knife from his boot. He cut a small length from the cape and held it out to you.

‘Take this. Go into my room, get the baby settled and get yourself comfortable. Then put this over your eyes and call for me’ he was so matter of fact about it that you didn’t question it, just did as you were told.

You had never actually been in Mando’s sleeping quarters before. It was a small room, no kind of decoration or homely nature to it, classic Mando. There was a single cot in the corner against the wall that you assumed he would make you sleep on, you knew him well enough not to fight him on that. You put the baby down on the floor, still wrapped in your cloak. His eyes were drooping and he was gently cooing to himself.

‘Getting sleepy, little one? You can sleep here, I’ll get you your blankets and we’ll make you a nice bed, yeah?’ You spoke to him softly and he lifted his little hand to you. You took his hand and gave it gentle kiss before zipping down to the hull to grab the blankets the two of you usually shared. It was freezing in the hull and you were grateful to Mando for insisting you slept in his room.

You went back to his quarters and swaddled the baby tightly. You put him on the floor at the foot of the cot so you could still hear him if he woke up but wouldn’t squish him or accidentally kick him out of the small bed in your sleep. He drifted off as you were positioning him comfortably, you thanked your stars.

You had grabbed a long tunic from the hull and changed into that, discarding your clothes and boots on the floor. You felt the cold and dived under the thin covers on the cot and put the makeshift blindfold over your eyes.

‘I’ve got the blindfold on’ you called, a slightly inappropriate thought raced to the front of your mind but you shoved it back before any damage was done.

You heard the door open and close and the gentle thud of Mando’s boots on the floor. The room was completely dark save for one small port hole on the far wall. You probably didn’t even need the blindfold, you couldn’t have seen him anyway! But you knew the blindfold helped his peace of mind.

You sat in the bed as you listened to the delicate, dull thuds of pieces of beskar being removed. You tried to guess what was what by the weight of the thud but you gave up after the third piece. Finally the quite clanging stopped and a heavy silence hung in the air.

‘You promise me you wont take that blindfold off?’ His voice was still modulated, the helmet still on.

‘I promise’.

There was a gentle hiss and a click and a quite thunk as he put the helmet down on the floor. You heard him move closer to you then drop what you guessed were blankets on the floor. You could hear him shuffling around, laying one blanket on the floor then covering himself with the other. He was still at last.

‘Good night, Mando’ you whispered into the blackness.

No response but an un-gloved hand reached up from his makeshift bed on the floor and gently squeezed yours.

Your whole body tingled. You couldn’t see him, or anything at all for that matter, but that was the first skin to skin contact you had ever had with your usually beskar-clad hero. You placed your other hand on top of his and squeezed back. That was enough for him and he removed his hand and you heard him wriggle a little until he was silent again.

What you didn’t know was that his heart was racing. He hadn’t felt the touch of another person for longer than he cared to count and it was all the more wild that it was you he had finally been able to touch.

But the memory of the last time he had had his helmet removed haunted him and clouded the joy he so wanted to feel. The flashbacks came occasionally; the explosion, the ringing in his ears and the blood. He’d had to tell Cara to take the child and to run for their lives. He had laid there in the rubble and dust, smoke filling the air and a droid, that would later go on to sacrifice itself for him, standing over him reasoning as to why it should take his helmet off.

In the end he had relented and allowed it to and IG had saved his life. But the trauma of the whole ordeal was still too fresh to ignore and lying on the cold floor of his room, completely exposed without any of his armour was almost too much to bear.

He wanted to sit up and slide himself into bed next to you and hold you, if for nothing more than comfort. He’d been alone for so long and suddenly he had a foundling, a family of friends, and a crew mate he wished was more than just crew. It was a lot to take in but you were pretty good at calming his nerves when he needed it. There had been a few instances when bounties had proven to be tougher than expected but you had always been there waiting for him to return, somehow knowing all the right things to say but you had never dared reach out and touch him, fearing it would offend or upset him. Really it was what he wanted most.

Sensing the restless body on the floor beside you you attempted to reach out and feel where he was. Your icy cold hand made contact with his bare shoulder and he hissed and shot away from you.

‘Shit sorry I didn’t realise you were so close!’ You whispered, trying your best not to laugh but a small snort escaped you and you clasped your hand over your mouth to prevent another.

‘What are you? Part Trandoshan? You must be cold blooded!’ his response was sharp but there was humour in it.

‘Trandoshan? Tall, fearsome, not a fan of Wookiees? You got me’ you giggled quietly again but stopped abruptly when you realised that was the first time you had ever heard his voice un-modulated.

You could hear him breathing slightly heavily from the shock and you took in every breath not knowing whether you would ever hear it without the helmet again.

He settled back down and calmed himself. The shock of the freezing hand on his arm had shaken him from his rapid thoughts of lava tunnels and enemy fire and left his heart racing again.

‘Are you really that cold?’ He whispered up at you.

You nodded but realised he couldn’t see you and rolled over so you were on your front looking down at him, ‘I’m from a desert planet, I don’t do cold! But I’ll be fine once I’m asleep’.

Mando formulated a plan but first he quietly sat up to look at the foot of the bed. He moved to his hands and knees silently and knelt down as he touched his hand to the child’s sleeping forehead. He felt warm enough, safely enveloped in the blankets you had wrapped him in and happily snoring in deep sleep. Mando smiled to himself.

Then, before you could ask a question or protest, Mando pushed you over to the edge of the cot and against the wall. His hands were warm as he gently scooted you over and awkwardly fumbled with the covers as he got in beside you. He was trying to be as quiet as possible but the bed frame creaked, only used to having to support one body.

‘You’ll wake the kid!’ You hissed.

He shushed you and flipped you so that your back was against his torso. He slipped an arm under your neck and draped the other over your ribs and pulled you tight against him. He reached up with the arm under your neck and gently checked the blindfold was still in place.

You smiled at his abundance of caution ‘it’s still there’, you reassured him ‘not that I could see you without it anyway, it’s so dark’.

He huffed gently and put his arm back down and held you close to him.

He was bare chest but radiating heat like a small thermal oscillator. You sunk into him not wanting to cause too much of a fuss in case you put him off and he went back to the floor. But you desperately wanted him to talk to you. You wanted to hear his voice and see what he sounded like when he laughed and you desperately wanted to know what he looked like. You knew you couldn’t see him and you wouldn’t ask to, but maybe you could feel him?

You began to wriggle as slowly as possible to avoid the bed squeaking too much and rolled yourself over so that you were lying on your other side, face to face with Mando. You made sure the blindfold was in place and put your hands down in the small gap between your bodies so as not to touch him with them and startle him with the cold again.

He still had an arm under your neck and the other now gently traced circles on your back.

‘Mando?’ you began.

He grunted back at you and you had to stifle another laugh. Even in the most intimate moment you’d ever shared his immediate response was to grunt at you.

‘Mando… can I touch you? Is that allowed?’

His breathing hitched and you felt him shift ever so slightly and you feared you’d done exactly what you were afraid of and crossed a line.

He moved his arm from your back and took your hands in his. His one hand was big enough to envelop both of yours and you had to smother another inappropriate thought before it blossomed.

‘Not until these are warmer’ he whispered giving your hands a squeeze.

You beamed at him and you hoped he could see you even just a little bit to know how happy you were at the possibility of actually being allowed to touch your Mandalorian’s skin.

He couldn’t see you, but your faces were close enough that he could feel the way you sucked in air in an excited gasp as he said it and he was sure you were smiling at him.

He carefully brought your hands up to his chest and rested them there, letting go and returning his hand to your back and pulling you closer still so that your bodies were touching, his chin resting carefully on the crown of your head.

You spent a few moments just taking in everything you could about him. His skin was soft but scarred. You traced scars and old wounds across his back and his chest. His shoulders were tough and knotted, muscular but tired from carrying the weight of the beskar pauldrons every day since he was little. Every scar told a story and maybe one day you’d be allowed to see them, not just feel them, and you’d be able to ask a hundred questions about how and where… but for now you just gently dipped your fingers into every mark that made him who he was.

You moved up to his neck and felt his heart rate racing as your hands edged closer to his face. You stopped just below his jaw and shifted your head up to look at him. As was normal to you now, you couldn’t see his eyes so you just stared where you hoped they were.

He gave you a timid nod and you breathed in hard as you slowly moved your hands up to his jawline. There was stubble, maybe a few days worth. You wondered if he shaved often? His jawline was sharp and defined, you had imagined it as such. You gently moved your fingers along it, taking in every dip of his mandible that indicated an old injury, every mark you could feel that could have once been a wound, and enjoyed the knowledge that even a proud warrior couldn’t always be bothered to shave.

You left one hand at his jaw and moved the other up his cheek, stroking it gently with your thumb, and moved across to his nose. It was pronounced but fitted the shape of his face beautifully. You would have to imagine how striking his side profile must be. There was a scar across it and little ridge at the bridge that suggested that maybe it had been broken once. You weren’t going to ask now.

You carefully traced a thumb over his closed eye, his eyelashes long and his eyebrows unkempt but not wild – a little like him maybe. You moved up his forehead, more scars and bruising, you wondered exactly how much good that helmet did him. Finally you found his hair and you ran your hand through it and pulled ever so slightly. It was longer than you imagined but not so long that he didn’t care for it. The fact it was at the length it was meant he must cut his own hair, that was enough to pull a smile out of you.

He felt you smile against him and he winced slightly, afraid you were laughing at his messy hair or his bruised face. You rubbed your other hand against his jaw.

‘What colour is you hair?’ The question was tentative, walking on thin ice and unsure how far was too far.

‘Brown’ he whispered, the bass in his voice making your soul leap a little.

You moved your hand back down to his eyelid, ‘and these?’

‘Also brown’ the whisper was even quieter now.

‘Mando, I think you’re beautiful’ you said it as sincerely as you could. You meant it.

He didn’t respond, just lay there still as anything, holding you against him.

You rested your palm on his cheek, feeling the stubble under it as he moved his head to look down at you. He put his forehead against yours as delicately as he could.

You could have stayed there for a hundred years. Wrapped in his arms, his forehead pressed to yours, feeling his breathing slow as his heart rate settled, his skin against yours.

But he moved, and you were afraid that was the end until he took his hand from your back and used it to tilt your chin up towards his face.

You felt his lips against yours and it was like an explosion had been let off inside you. It was tentative and cautious but he held your chin firm, not wanting you to move away from him. His lips were soft, a little chapped, but so undeniably him. Firm but inviting, hesitant but wanting.

He moved his hand to tuck a stray strand of hair behind your ear, being careful not to knock the blindfold and broke the kiss. He put his forehead back against yours and stroked your cheek with his thumb.

You put your hands back on his chest and lay still with him. He would kiss you again but he would need a minute first. And that was fine by you. This was unchartered territory for him and you would give him as long as he needed. There would be time for a hundred questions later.

#the mandalorian #the mandalorian x reader #the mandalorian x you #din djarin #din djarin x you #din djarin x reader #mando #the mandalorian fanfic #din djarin fanfiction #din djarin fic #the mandalorian fic #pedro pascal #a hundred questions #the mandalorian fanfiction #dyn jarren #the mandalorian imagine

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yukina-otome · 4 years ago

Text

Otome game MC’S

Hello everyone ! Today i am gonna tell you about my opinion on the mc’s of the otome games i played ! Again this is just my opinion so feel free to share yours or complete with your opinion on mc’s of otome games i didnt include !

This is not a ranking btw !

MLQC MC: Youran

Job: Producer | Queen

Age : 22 year old

Good points : 1-Brave and take risks 2-Never give up 3-Smoll bean (seriously she's so cute) 4-Really nice and helpfull (walk around the city for hours every week to help anyone in need) 5-Hardworking 6-Tell whats on her mind and doesnt hide her feelings 7-Can play piano

Bad points: 1-Bad decision making 2-Rely on the boys too much 3-Mary sue 4-Clumsy AF 5-Sneez\ stomach noises when boy is about to kiss her

Mystic messenger mc:

Age and Job: Depends

Depend on the route 1-Yoosung : Super patient and mature 2-Jaehee: Supportive 3-Jumin : God levels of patience but also kinda always have to agree with jumin which i hate 4-Seven : Happy go lucky and clueless about her whole situation (Seven : There is a BOMB | MC:LOL OK) 5-Another story : Guillible but also very patient. (i would take none of that s**t) Common to all routes : Have no eyes

My candy love MC: Lyn Darcy AKA Candy

Age : 17 during 1st season \ 23 during 2nd season \ 25 during 3rd season

Job : High schooler\ college student\ coffee owner

Good points: 1-Friendly 2-Helpful 3-Open minded 4-Pretty 5-Very strong mentally (during the highschool part) 6-Appearance can be customized 7-Energetic 8-Can get angry and speak her mind (depend on your choices)

Bad points: 1-Nosy AF 2-Mary sue 3-Play terapist with literally anyone she meet even if that mean getting herself in trouble and ignoring her own love life 4-Paranoid 5-Childish (even for a highschooler and even more in campus life)

7hotties MC AKA the worst mc (No pic for her cause tumblr says only 10 pic per post)

Job : Freelance designer Age : middle 20′s

Good points :

1-None

2-Nothing

3-Absolutely nothing

Bad points: 1-Weak 2-Useless 3-Doormat 4-Almost jobless (never seen her work aside from keita's route because he is the one who gave her the job) 5-Bland AF 6-Forgive everything a guy do to her (even rape) 7-Never actually get mad (even after a guy sleep with her and dump her literally right after she's like "pls don't abandon me! Tell me if i did anything wrong ! I'll fix it")

SSS MC:

Job: Concierge at the royal shining

Age : Early 20′s

Good points: 1-Sassy 2-Have a goal in her life and a dream she will not abandon no matter what 3-Can solve mental illness with love (because otome game power) 4-Described as extra pretty (All the boys at her workplace like her) 5-Doesnt give up easily 6-Actually got some backstory 7-Thirsty AF 8-Relatable

Bad points: 1-Forgive too easily (Minami's route !!) 2-Always get caught when spying or listening on someone's conversation 3-Clumsy AF 4-Can't brew coffee even after two weeks of trying (toma's route) 5-Actually not so good at her job but she's trying really hard

Le secret d'henri\Henri's secret MC: Lyla (Actually not an otome game, more like a visual novel but i wanted to include it because i absolutely love the mc and also because it's getting a remake and i wanted to promote it a bit)

Job : Highschooler

Age: 17 then 18

Good points: 1-Strong 2-Naive in all the right ways (she know how naïve she is but still choose to be naïve because she'd rather get backstabbed because she trusted than miss the opportunity to know a good person because she didn't trust)

3-Very pretty (Said to be the prettiest girl in all the high school and literally every boy she met aside from her brother and clement her bestie want to date her.)

4-Very popular 5-She is so nice even Henri call her a saint 6-Have the best family 7-Have the best friends 8-Supportive 9-Likes to play detective and solve people's problem 10-You really get attached to her by the end of the story you are almost sad because you wont get to see her again

Bad points: 1-Overreact 2-Drama queen (I understand tho as she is still a highschooler so she get emotional and depressed quite easily specially when it comes to a certain someone)

3-A bit too perfect sometime : Pretty girl, nice , friendly, cool, like nailpolish and fashion but also manga and video games, smart etc etc 4-MARY SUE 5-Nosy but not in an annoying way

Ikevamp MC:

Job: Travel agent and blogger | Housemaid

Age: Early to middle twenties

Good points : 1-She's said to be very beautiful (leo's route) 2-Speak many languages and seem to have a wide board of interests 3-Adapt fast to her new environment (depend on the routes) 4-Mentally strong (specially in napoleon's route) 5-Kinda mature (sometimes and depend on the route) Bad points: 1-Inconsistent personality even in the same route 2-Mary sue 3-Can be very weak and submissive (depend on the route) 4-Have no reason to stay aside for the boy she loves (what I mean is that by the end of the route the only thing she have in 19th century France is her boyfriend, in some routes she doesn't even meet or talk to most of the other resident and she have no job aside from cleaning the mansion with Sebastian)

5-Also get kidnapped every route (don't know yet for Theo) 6-Always wear the same clothes

Ikerev MC : Alice

Job: Help at a bakery ?

Age: Early twenties (saw somewhere that she was the same age as ray, not sure tho)

Good points : 1-Like food 2-Foodie 3-Enjoy food 4-Food = Happiness 5-More seriously she's super positive and optimistic and adapt really fast to her environment 6-Friendly and happy go lucky 7-Have the power to repel magic and protect herself and sometime her suitor to some degrees

Bad points: 1-Clueless 2-Dumb AF 3-Bad decision making 4-Get kidnapped almost every route 5-Zero observation and deduction skills (Oliver's route) 6-Technically squat at the black\red army headquarter\Oliver and Blanc's house or Harr and Loki's house

Ikesen MC : Mai AKA the queen AKA the fireball AKA the little mouse AKA The godess AKA the wild boar

Job: Seamstress

Age: around 25

Good points : 1-Strong AF 2-Take no sh*t (Kenshin's route\ Nobunaga's route...) 3-Adapt quite fast to her new and very dangerous environement (if i was her i would not leave my room for the next 3 months) 4-Fireball 5-Saved her suitor in many routes (Kenshin, Ieyasu, Shingen...) 6-Sass Queen 7-Have a life in sengoku era aside from her suitor (kinda the opposite of ikevamp mc as i said in bad point 4) 8-Have a dream and a goal 9-Very beautiful (even kenshin said so outside of his route and he was not in love with her!) 10-A lot of chemistry with all of the boys even outside of their routes.

Bad points : 1-Mary Sue 2-In some routes she is weaker but it never really disturbed me as it suited the love interest of the route(Sasuke and mitsuhide's route) 3-Kidnapping

Midcin MC:

Job : Princess

Age: Heard somewhere that she is 19 but not sure about it

Good points : 1-Adapt fast to her new situation 2-Try her best to learn everything 3-Try to take responsibility as the new princess 4-Can't think of anything else for her...

Bad points : 1-Weak 2-Bland 3-Doesnt speak up when she actually need to (The dumpster fire that is Alyn's ever after) 4-Kidnapping sometime twice in the same route 5-Submissive depending on the suitor

Okko's games MC'S : Honestly they r all the same so reunited them all in one

Job and age : Depend on the game

Good points: 1-Hard working 2-Have goals and dreams 3-Usually have a backstory 4-Some of them are sassy 5-Pretty but doesn't take care of herself 6-Always have a very fashionable bestie with a lot of experience with dating that help her and listen to her problems

Bad points: 1-Emotional maturity of a middle school girl 2-Doesnt want to admit her feelings and keep denying them even when there is no reason to 3-Self sabotage 4-Blame herself for every bad thing that happens 5-Some of them are very weak and submissive

And that’s pretty much it ! Thank you for reading until the end ! Pls feel free to reblog and add on those with your opinion !

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aesthbaby · 4 years ago

Text

Ghost

Summary: Do you remember the episode Demonology where we learned of Emily’s past? What if I told you, you were apart of it. After years of silence on her end, you end up meeting her again.

Pairing: Emily Prentiss x Fem!Reader

Prompt: here

Warnings: Cursing | Sadness | Typos

Word Count:

Masterlist

An: Dedicated to my hundredth follower. Ahhhh I'm too hype about this! I also made a slight change to the prompt but everything else is the same :) Anon, I hope you enjoy.

Indignation

The screaming crawls up the walls of her oversized, child hood home to shake her ear drums. The thunder only adds fuel to the fire that is the rage possessed by both Prentiss’ as they continue their screaming match.

“Don’t you dare walk away when I’m talking to you!” Elizabeth’s voice matches the rain. The way she stomps behind her daughter looks almost comical.

“Back off mother.” She mumbles this more to herself than her mother.

She stops walking, planting her feet firmly on the Brazilian Chestnut flooring. “I will not ask you again.” She comes to a stop, takes a breath, and slowly turns to her mother. Not meeting her eyes, of course, because it’d hurt too much to see the hate in her eyes. “Look at me.” The mother growls. She slowly moves to meet her mothers eyes and finds nothing but rage there; energy matched to the thunder and rain outside. “You will not see that-” The derogatory term gets caught up in her throat.

Taking a step towards the elder, “What?” Daring to ask the question to which she already knows the answer. “What do you want to say mother?” Her jaw tightens, a sign that Emily knows all too well. “Spit it out.” Its taking everything in her not to raise her voice again and spew the word out for her mother.

Elizabeth takes a breath of her own before replying. “You are not to see that girl again or so help me, I will make sure she goes back to where she came from.” Before Emily could object, she speaks again. “That is final Emily.” Her voice holds strong, and suddenly the storm ceases its assault.

All is quiet in the Prentiss house yet the tension remains; so thick that you could cut it with a knife.

Disregard

The next morning you arrive to school earlier than usual, but for good reason. Some random college hoodie wrapped loosely around your torso and a dainty neck tucked under it. Your school uniform has never fit you quite right because of how late in the year you transferred, you know...left overs. Phone is going absolutely crazy in your shirt pocket but now isn't the time, you’re looking for somebody. You’re looking for her. Mr. Ricci’s voice can be heard on your left, telling a group of guys its time for class. Emily...where the hell are you?

As the day progresses you still see no sign of the brunette until now. “Emily!” Running up to her you deliver a swift punch to her shoulder. “Where the hell have you been?” When her eyes meet yours they puffy, like she’s been crying. “Em- I-”

“First of all, ouch. Secondly, I can’t right now.” She turns to walk off with her lunch in hand, but you quickly pull her back by her elbow.

“You ‘can’t’ right now? What the hell is wrong with you?” Its taking everything in you not to become overtly emotional. “And where have you been?”

“Y/n I’m sorry but I really can’t right now.” She pulls away from your grip. Leaving you more confused than before.

You scuff at her wording. “You never calls me by my first name...” Its always been her thing, starting with a joke about how she has another friend by the same name as you so she had to call you something else. The next day was the same, avoiding you at all costs.

But it didn’t stop there.

It felt as though you were left on a physical manifestation of ‘read.’ Her name with the red heart emoji attached, did not pop up on your phone for what seemed to be months but in reality it had only been a few weeks. If she were to simply pick up the phone you would have been able to tell her about your unforeseen departure time. Due to sudden changes in international studies, you had to leave and the academy needed their student back. The one of which you exchange places with in January. Tears spring to your eyes at the thought of leaving. Not only are you leaving her, but also leaving this city you got to call home.

Sunny days always seem to appear at the wrong time, your departure day. She’s not here to see you off, hasn’t been around for a while. Can you really blame her? She doesn’t even know you’re leaving because she wont pick up the fucking phone. It doesn’t matter anymore, your time is up and so is her’s. A line of black and white kittens sprint across the cobblestone streets and that right there is what makes you break down in tears. Seeing the delicate kittens run after a mouse while tripping over their own feet. Random yellow flowers peaking through the stone which you’ve never known the actual name of. That one girl in Chem that would bake cookies for the class on Fridays. Your host dad taking you to his favorite café that served an increasing number of Cuban smokers. Going to eat gelato after homeroom with that one guy who would always make Golden Girls references. Then there was Emily, the girl that gave you a dainty gold necklace for valentines day. The girl that got a random jock to stop harassing you. The person whose lap you’d lay in on Saturday mornings at the park, is the same person who randomly started to ignore you. Maybe you could have fixed things with her if you had more time. You were supposed to have until June but suddenly everything shifted and all you were told is that you needed to come home, promptly. You couldn’t wait for her any longer, not even sure why you thought she’d come in the first place. Casting one last glance over your shoulder before stepping into the buzzing airport.

At least meet me half way.

Hereafter

"I don’t think so.” You laugh at your friend’s proposition to set you up on a blind date. “I am absolutely content with the way I choose to live my life.” Shifting a bit on the new couch that hasn’t been broken in, resulting in the stiff cushions.

He lets out this weird scuffing noise. “No you’re not. Remember last weekend when we tried to pull an all-nighter but your sleep deprived brain betrayed you?” At your nonchalant shrug, he continues. “You started rambling about just wanting to find some well educated, fun loving, female in this world full of bureaucratic straight men. Your words, not mine.” You throw a pillow at him but he swiftly doges it. “But you couldn’t have said it better.” These recent years have been a series of unfortunate dates that have ended in you lying about having to leave early for something.

“Don’t you have a girlfriend you should be getting home to?”

“Not tonight, I’m all yours. Apparently she has her knitting circle tonight.”

“That's what you get for dating an older woman.”

“Its a five year age difference! What is wrong with you people?”

You hold your hands up in defense. “Nothing, as long as you’re both legal and she’s good to you, its fine by me.”

“Shut up!” He screeches. “Oh shit, don’t you have a meeting in the morning?”

“Yes sir.” He stands to take your glasses and plates in the kitchen but you object. “Leave it,” At his confused expression, you continue. “Cleaning helps me relax so I figured I’ll wake up early so I can do that and reduce my stress levels by at least ten percent.”

“Dude, you’re seriously weird.”

“Say another bad thing about me and I'm sending you home.”

Throwing him a few pillows from the hallway closet and a comforter just for him to scream, “Its too hot in this cottage core apartment!”

Its not even cottage core themed?? Its just cozy with a plant or two. Am I expected to live in an ice cold home? I feel like he’s just saying this because I’m gay.

Your prepared outfit hands on the back of your bedroom door, mocking you. Making you reconsider the entire thing and simply not go but it feels as though you’d regret it if you didn’t. Maybe not, who knows?

And with that as your final though, you drift off to sleep.

You wake at the amazing time of 6 A.M to see your guest gone with a note on the couch:

I cleaned up the mess from last night and I also did the dishes in your sink. Not sure how u slept through all of that...I made a fruit salad for ur breakfast and a normal one for lunch.

Good luck with your meeting!

And one of those old fashioned emoticons at the bottom corner. Idiot.

You eat the food he left from the fridge, brush your teeth with the news playing in the background, and continue on with the normal morning routine.

Gathering your lunch and the little items you feel like you’d need, phone, charger, paper work, and keys; you know, the works. Finally heading out to your destination with nothing but ambition, you run into a slight problem.

Overlapping breakfast with an old friend of yours. “Hey, babe, I am so sorr-”

“Absolutely not, I don’t want to hear your excuses.” The positive voice rings through the phone like velvet sheets after a cold shower. “You missed our reservation!” Have to admit hearing them whine is pretty entertaining. “You had one job. One!” You guys met some years ago over some random online forum, arguing over some random movie. You don’t talk as much as you’d like but breakfast is always on the menu--mostly in February.

“Quick question, am I allowed to apologize?”

There’s a beat of silence on the other end, “Yes you may, but only in fruit baskets and coffee.”

“I got you, next time though. I’m on my way to something right now.”

“Something...” In comes the teasing undertone. “Does this ‘something’ have a name?”

Bursting into a fit of laughter at what is implied and replying, “Definitely not, its a work thing.”

“Speaking of work, I have to go. Ciao!”

Just in time to end the call, you pull into the designated parking deck from the email. Going through all of the security procedures was hell but blatantly necessary; the rest was gravy. Floating through the rest of the building gave you a slightly stressful feel because of all the men walking around with perfect suits and casting no glances your direction. When the glass doors labeled BAU appear, you take a deep breath and walk in with confidence. Taking in the buzzing sound of agents at work all around you. Agent Hotcher’s office is glaringly obvious: higher up than the rest, perfect overview of the hive, and in direct eye sight of the entryway doors.

Delivering a swift knock to the office door you hear a faint invitation from the inside. Walking in with a smile and straight back you are greeted with a man in a dark navy blue suit and a stoic look to attached to him. It first starts with the small talk of your experience, early life, skill sets, and what not.

“Agent Hotchner, might I speak out of line for a moment.” He gives you a skeptical look before nodding. “I understand the nature of this meeting but I am not completely sure why it was conducted.” His furrowed brown is not a good sign, making you correct your structure a bit. “Right, well,” God his stare is fucking intense. “What I mean to ask is, why am I here?”

That was bold.

“Agent, are you not aware that this is a Career Analysis Assessment?” As it slowly sinks in an O-shape forms with your mouth. Now you feel like a complete idiot in front of this prestigious, tight suited, man. “You were unaware? Its fine if you were,” You let out a sigh at the confirmation. “I have a tendency to write my emails with an excessive amount of four syllable words so one could see where the confusion originated.” You let out a nervous laugh at the realization that this is basically a job interview.

“I see that you’ve spent time studying abroad.” Indicated by the recommendations from your Italian Psychology teacher. “Why not join the CIA?”

“Dare I say, they make me nervous?” He cracks a small, very subtle, smile at the admission.

“What made you want to leave Human Resources?”

“I got tired of analyzing decisions with nothing but dead bodies and messy crimes and having my primal focus be the agents and not the victims or perpetrators. Using what I’ve learned as material for agents in training when I could have prevented it from happening.”

“Well said, but I need to be completely transparent with you.” This can’t be good. “I will admit that I have serious reservations about adding a Human Resources officer to my team.”

Shit let me stop him before this spirals. He thinks I’m a spy. “Sir, with all do respect, I have no intentions of being a bureaucratic spy. I’d also like to point out that I wasn’t that high on the HR totem pole to the point where I had an explicit say on what happens to agents, who is hire, fired, or how they’re trained. I analyzed and compromised while expressing my findings to an unbiased extent. If I wanted to be a spy I would have joined the CIA.” Besides, Head Quarter’s is the one that does all of that internal investigation stuff, not HR.

He doesn’t say anything or make any sudden movements for a good minute. I fucked up. That spy line was too far. “I’d like to offer you a position on this team, so long as you can start immediately.”

“Yes, of course I can! I don’t have much office supplies besides a pen or two and-”

“Its fine,” He stands from his seat and straightens the dark blazer. “I’ll have one of my agents show you around.”

From across the bullpen you spot a familiar blonde. “Oh my god!” The file in her hand falls to the floor. “Its you!” She practically squeals.

“Penelope, I didn’t know you work here.” You give your old friend a tight, unapologetic hug. She said she worked as a tech analysis but you always assumed it was for an activism group or a tech firm, not the FBI out of all things. Despite having such interesting jobs, you never talk about work with each other. She knows you work for the government but not which. Although knowing how good she is at uncovering people’s secrets, there’s a good chance she already knew you work for the FBI too.

“What are you doing here? Like physically here. I thought you were in Florida.”

“I have to get back, can you take care of Agent Y/L/N for me?” Hotchner says before rushing off without an answer.

And there she goes with the snooping. “Actually, I left the Florida office and went to California.”

“Oh.” Her face twists a bit. “And now you’re here?”

“I thought you were the woman behind the curtains, the all knowing.”

“And wonderful!” She points with her perfectly painted finger.

In comes a slim man with a messenger back, making a click in your mind. “Now where have I seen him before...” Turning slightly to follow his trail.

“That’s our resident genius Dr. Spencer Reid.”

Unbelievable. “He’s twelve.” The young agent’s head snaps toward you and Penelope, “Does he have super human hearing too?” She introduces you to the Doctor who is, as expected, socially awkward in many ways. A man named David Rossi of whom you’ve met at least once during a few Bureau seminars; last you heard he had rejoined the BAU after retirement. Jennifer Jareau is gorgeous with a nurturing nature about her, she immediately recognizes your name from exchanged paperwork but that’s about it. The introductions are brief, everyone seems to be busy with their own things. “Penelope your team is kind of small.” You quietly mention to her.

“Oh!” Guess the realization that two people are missing, finally clicks in her head. She starts walking in the direction of a staircase so you automatically follow her. “This is Derek Morgan.” Standing in front of a round table is a tall man with a really toned body. “Derek, this is Agent Y/n L/n from Human Resources.” His eyebrow arches up in suspicion.

“Oh no I’m not here for anything bad, I’ve actual been transferred into the BAU. Working behind a desk and watching as others do the work I can’t, wasn’t working out for me.” Definitely won’t trust me until I save his life or something. “I’ve heard of you, one of the Academy trainers has shown a few videos of you.” He smirks at the implied compliment and finally holds his hand out for you to shake.

“Where’s...” Pen trails while looking around.

“Oh she’s getting coffee.” The darker man points behind himself.

“Who’s getting coffee?”

Reconciliation

Maybe we wouldn’t be so short handed if they sprung for better coffee. Emily thought to herself while stirring the flavorless, dark liquid. What if they attach a coffee shop to the building? Imagine how much money the shop would make off of overworked agents. But then I feel like we’d start developing a true addiction to this stuff. Her thoughts are interrupted by the approach of foot steps. She meets Derek’s figure and smiles at the resident goofball of the BAU. Followed by Penelope’s pink centralized outfit with feathers. Then there’s you, just as beautiful as the last time you saw each other. If not more. Your hair shines amongst the florescent lights, paired with the perfectly tailored outfit and jewelry. The same eyes that would brighten her day as they met. An almost unnoticeable bounce in you walk, same as it were years ago. As you step towards her there is a flash of gold on your wrist that sends a ping to Emily’s heart, its the necklace I gave you in high school.

Intersect

You would have know about Emily’s transfer here from a few years ago, had her paperwork gone through the HR department but apparently it went straight to the top because this is definitely a surprise. Once you realize its actually her you stop dead in your tracks. Can’t be.

“Y/n,” She stutters out your name in disbelief. “What are you doing here?”

“Emily, I work here.” Ripping the band-aid off like this is an every day encounter; seeing your unofficial ex who you were never actually with in the first place but had the same characteristics as a high school couple. Yeah...that.

She also blurted out a ‘no you don’t’ before Garcia interrupted. “How do you two know each other?”

You both snapped your heads to her simultaneously. “We don’t.” Also said that part at the same time.

“Right.” She drags. “I’m sensing some unresolved tension...”

“What are-” Em tries to object.

“So we’re going to go.” The tech analysis grabs the sleeve of the darker man and practically sprints off in the opposite direction. Morgan having a dumbfounded look on his face.

It feels like you’re at a stalemate, who will make the first move. What will the emotions be? Are they going to fly? Because I’d like to throw a few verbal punches her way. Who does that to someone? I thought I was over it but clearly the wound is still open. Great now watch her blame me for X, Y, and Z,

“I’ve missed you.” She barely whispers, sounding a bit broken yet insincere. Its like she’s detaching herself from the narrative. So unexpected that you almost think you’re imagining this. Why would she say that? This is not the Emily you remember.

Anger bubbles up in your throat ready to unleash upon her entirety. Instead of bursting into flames right on the spot, in the middle of your new place of employment you take a deep breath. Words of disbelief dance on your lips before speaking. “You did not.” She tilts her head like a curious puppy. Who am I even talking to?

“What do you mean?” And just like that she’s whisked away by a guy in a suit of whom you do not recognize. Your jaw clinches in a desperate attempt to keep your cool, wondering what the hell is going on.

Realization

Besides the surprise of seeing Emily, your first day went great. Everyone kept checking up on you and you couldn’t tell if it was because they were trying to be friendly, excited to have a new teammate, or nervous of your background. “She used to work for the FBI Human Resources Branch.” You heard the skinny one tell Morgan when they thought you weren’t listening.

JJ and Penelope invited you out for drinks but all you really wanted to do was lay in your bed with a face mask and a bag of chips. Waving a farewell to the blonde women and head to your car, but a few feet away you feel a presence. You quickly loop around in search of the energy with your hand on the top of your gun. “Woah woah.” Emily holds her hands up in surrender.

At the realization of who it is you take a breath and clip your gun back in place. You give her a “what the hell look” before straightening your outfit.

“Were you going to shoot me?”

She’s met with wide eyes from your end. “Maybe?! Who sneaks up on someone with a gun?”

“I didn’t ‘sneak’ up on you.”

“Emily, you wear all black and walk like a feather. What were you expecting?” The buried anger is starting showing through.

“Okay,” She does a weird hand movement that kind of looks like she’s trying to calm you down. “I’m sorry. I just thought we could talk.”

“Talk...” You’re not really following.

“Yes, I’d like to talk.”

“Emily what are you asking? I’m lost.”

She take a moment to figure it out before answering. “For a second chance, I’m asking for another shot.”

You uncross your arms at the admission, letting them lazily fall beside you. “Em- I-” She can’t be asking what I think she is. “Its been years. More than a decade has passed since-” The words suddenly die on your lips

“I know,” And it looks like there’s a slight glimmer in her eyes, implying the presence of suppressed tears. “I’d just like to explain.”

“Explain?” You bite, tasting the bitter flavor of annoyance.

“Yes, I at least owe you that.”

And that’s how you ended up here, with her. In a cozy, minimalistic loft at nine in the afternoon with a coffee table separating the two of you.

“I’m sorry.” Was the first thing to break the silence, and this time it actually sounded sincere. “If I could have explained everything to you back then, I would have.”

You lean forward, closer to her and push the rather large vase off to the side so she has to be vulnerable with you. Nothing to help her hide from herself. At her confused face you lean back in your seat and nod for her to continue.

“My mother was always a difficult woman and although she has gotten better over the years, things were at their worst when she found out how much time I had been spending with you.” The brunette takes a minute before admitting the next part. “She was responsible for your early departure. I tried to stop her, give you more time but she’s relentless.” She waits for your reaction but when met with nothing, she continues. “She threatened me by putting our connection on the line, which in retrospect I now realize was impossible to save. She had already made calls to get you out of the country by the time I could sever what we had. I never wanted to hurt you or end what we shared.”

“And what did we share, Emily?”

Her tongue darts from between her lips, doing that weird little biting thing she’s always done since we’ve known each other. It sparks something in you that you haven't felt in a while. “I think you know. The fact that you still wear the necklace I gave you, bracelet, means you never really forgot.”

“I liked it where I could see it, but Em you could have called, texted even.”

“I couldn’t I was scared. Then after you left I started to distance myself from everyone and everything was really going downhill.”

“How so?”

“I got mixed up with peer pressure and boys.” This doesn’t sound good. “At one point I did anything I could to fit in.”

“What does that mean?” There’s a moment when a tear wells up on one of her eyes, but not dropping. “You don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to.”

“I-” She tries to speak but nothing comes out. “I couldn’t tell my mother and the church wasn’t happy with my actions.” It suddenly dawns on you, like a smack in the face. You want to make her stop and just hold her but this needs to come out. “I couldn’t call you because it would hurt too much. I hated myself at that moment more than I ever have.”

“And you haven’t dated since?”

She sniffles and lets out a little laugh at that. “God no, I’ve dated people but I haven't dated another female since. It felt wrong, like I was replacing you or something.”

“You owe me nothing. You were just trying to protect me and I see that now.”

“I knew better, its been so long and when I heard you joined the academy I-”

“Wait, you knew and didn’t say anything?”

“Y/n I couldn’t bring myself to do anything other that attempt to move on.” Silence fills the room and its not the comforting kind. Its the tense, I need to do something, kind.

“Do you feel anything?” You dare to ask.

“What do you mean?”

“You know what I mean. Were your feelings lost in transit?”

“They froze the day you left, and thawed the day I saw you again. Today.”

“So its not over.”

She appears to contemplate your statement. “No, its not over. We have a chance to start over.”

What now?

.｡.:*･゜ﾟ･*★*･･*･'･*:..:*･゜ﾟ･*☆*:. .｡.:*☆

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