#but i also hope it doesnt discourage people from sending me asks like this because? these are my FAVORITE THINGS | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

damnfandomproblems · 4 months ago

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Posting a compilation of responses to Fandom Problem #5234

Anon:

PLEASE watch the Contrapoints video on Twilight. It is by a trans person named Natalie Wynn.

(anon includes a link to a YouTube video titled "Twilight | ContraPoints")

This video has changed the minds of tons of people who initially thought Twilight was "rape and stalking abuse", by explaining the history of where all this panic comes from and why people are drawn to dark fantasies. It changed my mind and I'm hoping it'll change your mind too.

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Anon:

going through every point bc this personally ticked me off for literally no reason but i have nothing better to do. so. sorry if this seems overly pissy /genuine. (also typed this in my notes app so sorry for the lack of italics/caps in place of italitcs) 1. not wanting to see incest/whatever isnt purity culture. blocking tags/accounts that make you uncomfortable is something that is HEAVILY ENCOURAGED. the only people i have ever seen discouraging this are antishippers. what IS purity culture, however, is saying that EVERYONE ELSE should not make something because it makes you personally uncomfortable. as someone who was literally raised within purity culture, that is exactly the kind of shit they say. 2. fiction DOES affect reality! but not in the way you think it does. yes, propaganda works! but that is because it is specifically constructed to convince people of a certain view. representation is important because people who arent cishet white men exist and deserve to see themselves in fiction. but i think the best way i can explain it is this; if you were to watch Hannibal, would you automatically assume that cannibalism is okay? what if you watched a John Wick movie or Deadpool? Is mass murder okay? the answer is obviously an astounding no, because you are able to think about the media you consume. this is expected of any media that isnt literally a show aimed at children. There's at least one media btw. i'm not entirely sure about Hannibal because i've never seen it. 3. that is literally a coping mechanism therapists recommend. those are all UNHEALTHY and SELFDESTRUCTIVE coping mechanisms. you cannot compare the two. 4. if you are getting mad about porn then that is an entirely Puritan viewpoint. 6. "make the story frown upon it." if you cannot gauge for yourself that these things are bad then you should not be engaging with those stories. 7. last point isnt a proship issue, its a jerkwad issue. people who dont tag things are dicks, at least we can agree on that. however if someone doesnt tag something it is on you to block them. YOU need to curate YOUR online experience. (it may also be worth it to KINDLY send an ask about it. its the same as tagging flashing. sometimes people just dont think about it and sometimes people are doing it on purpose to be a douche. you need to block the latter as they are not worth your time or energy.) Last point was something you did not mention so im not including it in the list itself; if you were to ask a proshipper if they supported pedophilic/incestual/abuse relationships irl, they would most likely say no. If they say yes then they are just a pedo/someone who is okay with incest/an abuser. those people are not bad people because of the fiction they consume/create. they are bad people because they want to hurt people and do not see anything wrong with it/are not willing to see why they are in the wrong. apologies for any typos, ive reread through it but i tend to miss things.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------ Anon:

Op really just compared writing fictional scenarios with fictional dollies, a method of processing trauma that is recommended by psychologists and actually -is- effective at helping people process stuff, to alcoholism, street drugs, and socon which can and do kill people. You ever seen someone withdraw from alcohol abuse? I have. You actually spoken to a psychologist about friends who write things to cope after being raped at a party? I have. Are you still a clueless child? Yes. So take your moral panic and shove it. You're a kid but if you want to get involved in serious adult conversations, you need to be prepared to accept discussing serious, real things. You can't even look at a rapefic without getting triggered (I use this word in the proper sense, not hyperbolic sense) and ascribing blown-out-of-proportion, emotional judgments on people who, if you passed them on the street, wouldn't stand out to you at all. Because these are normal people. This to me is a huge sign you're just not ready for this kind of conversation.

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Anon:

"...really ticks me off how someone can say "It's really fucking gross how you wanna see a minor and an adult make out" and proshippers can be like "UGH PURITY CULTURE" Like, how is not wanting to see pedophilia and incest purity culture. Especially when you're a minor. dumbass I was a minor when I wanted to se OCs modeled after myself hooking up with the hot adult leads from my shows. I wasn't stupid enough to think it was OK to happen in real life but if Dream of the Endless was in an arranged marriage with my OC for reasons I wanted to see it. Like. "Minors" have sex. A lot. And yeah, age gaps can be problematic in real life but on paper? Who cares? It's fake. It's not real. It's a story. Acting like minors are sexless little angels until the day they turn 18 is crazy. Minors want to see boning and they want to see people their own age boning, and sometimes they want to see people their own age boning That Old Man or Milfs or 1000 year old vampires or whatever. Not even gonna bother with the rest. Others can get that.

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Anon:

Where to even start here? I guess I should start by saying that proshipper doesn't mean what you think that it means OP! It doesn't mean that we support incest or pedophilia, it simply means that we're anti harassment. I don't like incest or pedophilia. It's weird to me, and yet one of the most popular series, Game of Thrones, features both incest and pedophilia. Romanticizing villainy? Can I ask what your definition of romanticizing is? What if the story revolves around the villain? Like Ballad of Songbirds and Snakes? Are stories like that not supposed to exist? What about the anime and manga called Overlord? What About Hannibal Lecter? What about the Joker movie? Do none of these have any value? Do you expect the villain to deadpan into the camera every 10 minutes confessing that he knows his actions are wrong but he's doing it anyways? And if the writers don't make their characters do this, are you going to accuse them of condoning their characters actions? Because I think it would be pretty dumb to make a villain out of character for the sake of, "I know this is wrong, but I'm doing it anyways!" Do you want no villains in stories? Is that what you prefer? For everything to be sunshine and rainbows all of the time? Because that would be really boring. Are there any true heroes without a villain. A bad coping mechanism? Really? So now you're a psychologist who knows everyone on the planet that knows exactly what everyone needs to get better? Coping mechanism looks different from person to person. What is important is that the coping mechanism helps you process your emotions and what happened to you and sometimes it is helpful to write your emotions out in the form of writing and sometimes that can be fanfiction. I am someone who had been diagnosed with trauma and depression and I'm currently doing therapy for this and taking medicine. You know what's helped me all of these years before I started going to therapy on a regular basis? Characters with a lot of baggage like me. They can be hero or villains. I don't care which it is. If they have a tragic back story and I'm all over that. Fiction doesn't effect reality? It can and sometimes does. You're right. But you know who's problem that is? Your parents, the school system, and whoever else never taught you that fiction is fiction. That characters aren't real. If your parents let the TV or Internet babysit you growing up instead of being a parent and teaching you right from wrong, or being able to tell fiction from reality, well then that is the fault of your parents. Do you know who's not at fault? Stranger on the Internet. We're not here to hold your hand, you are not entitled to that. It is up to you to curate your own experience and mind your own business. If you don't like something, blacklist the tag, block the person posting it or log off of that site and find something else to look at. You think you've debunked everything, but really you're just naive and living in a fantasy world. The world is not an idealistic place, nor will it ever be and that is why these stories exists to begin with. Covering up everything that is bad in the world won't ever make it go away and that is reality. Period. Let people cope the way they need to, and unless you have degrees in psychology, you have no right to tell people what they can and cannot enjoy. Again, I myself would never write or read about some of the things that you've posted about OP, but will I continue writing about my trauma? I sure will, because it is something that I am still dealing with many years after it happened and I'm sure others will do the same with the things that they've had experience with, too.

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Anon:

OP, one of your top posts is an AO3 reference and contains a link to an AO3 fic. In case you didn't know, AO3 was directly created to be a host for fanworks that got censored by other sites. Functionally, it is an archive, like a library. And like libraries, it hosts anything that is legal to host under US law. One major driving factor behind AO3's creation was the "Livejournal Strikethrough Boldthrough", an incident where "concerned parties" successfully lobbied to get Livejournal, a site that hosted writing, to remove its "yucky fics". Guess what? Gay fiction got removed in the process because, surprise, certain parties found that yucky too. (I'm talking about conservative groups who are obviously very anti-gay and anti-LGBT.) Here's one post about it: https://pretentioussongtitle.tumblr.com/post/624690560646676480/like-wathever-antis-delete-your-blogs-pls-thx So... You can't say you're okay with calling to censor things, without looking at the full picture and where it ultimately leads. You're asking for a lot of collateral damage. And like someone else said, engaging in discussions about heavy, adult topics with strange adults on the internet (and most of us are adults, OP) is very dangerous. There have been a lot of cases where someone has cried foul about certain kinds of fictional writing, only for an "anti proship" person to walk up to them and groom them, and it worked because the kid was under the pretense that the person was a "safe, good person". Please do not put yourself in danger and get out of the spaces you frequent.

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Anon:

It's interesting you use Lolita as an example of what to do "right" when it comes to depicting things. You believe tons of media must be censored or kept away from the light of day, yet Lolita is an example of what to emulate to prevent that from happening? You would be very shocked to discover Lolita is among, if not the, most notorious piece of fiction for censorship groups to attack. So I really don't know if you fully understand what it is you're arguing for, here. You're just a kid, so I'm assuming you haven't actually read Lolita. That's the first thing. The second thing is, given the fact virtually all people who are invested in censoring and banning media actually hate Lolita, but you seem to have a totally opposite, 180-degree opinion about it, I have to wonder if you've happened to find a lot of random stuff from around the internet, but have yet to actually put it all together and cross-check everything to see if it actually makes sense. There's a lot of stuff in your post that is either plain out wrong, poorly strung together, or contradictory.

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Anon:

I'm going to look real tinfoil-hatty in two seconds, but I swear some of y'all antis in the notes are following tags like "pedophilia" and "incest" and that's the only reason you found this confession. Cause I haven't seen half of you here before. And if so, that's kind of weird. I hope I'm wrong. To be fair there's no way to confirm either way but I just thought it was funny because I can see it happening if not for the antis here, than for others. Gotta get that daily dose of outrage.

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Anon:

""Fiction doesn't affect reality" So why is representation so important? Why has propaganda worked so well?" you're taking this statement too literally. fiction obviously affects reality. if you cry over your favourite character's death, well there ya go. fiction has just changed reality. it made you feel sad things. representation is important because it makes those represented feel acknowleged and because it makes their existence more known to the world. propaganda is designed SPECIFICALLY to heavily affect reality. a doujin artist does not sit down and think "hmm. today i will draw a loli hentai to turn people into paedophiles". ""Well I'm not gonna become a murderer just because I've seen people murder in pieces of media" Name one piece of media where murder was portrayed as unironically, fully okay." as someone not well-versed in shooters, fortnite. murder is encouraged in fortnite. the point of the game is to kill people. i'd also like you to name one piece of media where rape is portrayed as perfectly fine and dandy. ""I'm coping with trauma" Well that's an awful coping mechanism. If you have been traumatized by incest, abuse, or pedophilia, why are you creating/consuming content where those are all romanticized?" because the fact that they're not alone in their suffering is comforting to them? as an abuse victim, i like characters with abusive parents. it gives me a character to sympathise with and characters to absolutely loathe with all my being. now that i think about it, i like that i'm not suffering alone. other people acknowledge the things i, and other victims, have to deal with. there are other reasons, but that's one i thought up ""You're ableist for criticizing our coping mechanism!" ... You know what else is a coping mechanism? Self-harm. Alcoholism. Excessive drug use. Those are frowned upon EVERYWHERE, because they're self-destructive. So why is thinking adults and minors should be cute together (sometimes real life adults and minors, but I'm not gonna get into the whole RPF discourse because RPF is even more fucking disgusting) suddenly okay?" there is a difference between doing things that being actual harm and because the latter is harmless. besides... isn't this circular logic? this argument is based on the conclusion you draw from it. "proshipping as a coping mechanism is bad because proshipping is bad". ""Rule 34 and gross ships is always gonna exist!" In our current world, bigotry is always gonna exist. Doesn't mean we should stop getting mad about it." bigotry excludes a specific group of often-innocent people for no reason. rule 34 is just porn of fictional characters. completely incomparable ""I'm exploring unhealthy relationships in fiction!" Okay then! That's great! Don't romanticize it. Tag it accordingly. Make the story frown upon it. Lolita, the book, frowned upon the pedophilia and thought it was disgusting. Do that." nobody romanticises anything. most loli hentai just... depict a loli having sex. it doesn't depict it as this amazing thing that you should dp. most lolicons that talk nabout wanting to fuck... idk, klee from the funny gacha game don't actually wanna have sex with kids. it's omly romanticised in-universeww, if you will. it doesn't say anything about it being good to do irl. and on nhentai, we use tags. we have a lot of 'em, including the recent 'kodomo doushi'. you jujst have to take a look at the tags section of a doujin and search for any tag you may not want you can also filter them in the search bar. we tag our shit, it's just your fault for being an irresponsible fuck. "But you're not gonna do that, are you." we will. the importance of tagging can NOT be stressed enough anon, i am gonna be blunt here. you are not smart. you did not debunk shit. god will slam the pearly gates of heaven on you for this post

#fandom problem 5234 #response to previous problem #mod sf

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ppersonna · 4 years ago

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swipe right - jjk | m

“ i wanna ruin our friendship. we should be lovers instead. i don't know how to say this, cause you're really my dearest friend “ - jenny, studio killers

♡ summary- after a horrible breakup, you sign back up for tinder and ironically match with your best friend, jungkook. a date for fun is harmless, right?

♡ genre- best friends to lovers, idiots to lovers, jk is a minecraft streamer, brother namjoon, brother-in-law jimin, namjoon is kind of a himbo stay at home dad ngl, ex-boyfriend seokjin (mentioned but doesnt show up)

♡ word count- 9k

♡ warnings- mentions of a bad breakup (smh seokjin wtf??), penetrative sex, unprotected sex (u know the business folx), oral sex (m receiving), teasing, SO MUCH BODY WORSHIP, jk is a simp, slight dirty talk, lots of just talking during sex yall it happens, creampie, cum play, praise praise body worship praise, did i mention body worship, tit-fucking, cum eating, i think thats all.

♡ a/n - helloooo and thank you for your wait for this fic! i’m so happy its done and i loved writing it! it’s a little bit different feel for my usual style of writing (smut-wise) so please tell me your thoughts! i didn’t use dom/sub themes OR a daddy kink LMAOOOO praise me please. i hope you enjoy!! pls feel free to comment, chat, message, carrier pigeon, email, mail, WHATEVER U WANT, me. i love u babies. thank you to @kimtaehyunq for the sexy banner. and for @xjoonchildx @ladyartemesia @untaemedqueen for the writing support and idea generation. i would be nothing without my council. and thank you to my beta editors @hobi-gif and @ughseoks and @hongism for the perusal and help in writing this!

Jungkook is the person you call when your world falls apart.

He answers, voice raspy from the late hour, and the second he asks you what’s wrong, the downpour of torrential tears you’ve been holding back finally escapes and you’re sobbing through the phone that you just lost the love of your life—that he left and with little effort on his part, and a lot on yours.

Jungkook listens to you—his heart aching deep in his chest at hearing the utter heartbreak that’s clear in your voice. You’ve never been hurt like this, and he’s desperate to hold you, to make it go away. He wants to drive over to Seokjin’s house and throw a left hook into his stupid, handsome face for making you feel you weren’t worth it.

Because if there’s anything in the world that Jungkook knows, it’s that you’re worth it. You’re worth everything. Add up all the money and all the gold in the entire world, and it still doesn’t meet a fraction of what you’re worth to him.

“Where are you?” He asks as he cradles the phone against one arm and pulls on his jeans.

You sniffle. “Jungkook, it’s 3 am.”

“So? I was up playing Minecraft,” He lies. “Where are you?”

You can’t help but laugh the tiniest bit, a sliver of warmth wrapping itself around your raw and exposed heart. Like a balm to a flesh wound. It doesn’t heal it, not yet.

“I’m at our park.”

Jungkook smiles as he grips the phone back in his hand. The park. The place you and Jungkook spent your childhood playing make-believe games, and formative teenage years loitering around smoking clove cigarettes to look cool.

“Give me five minutes, okay?”

You nod, even though he can’t see you.

“Okay.”

Jungkook arrives with two minutes to spare. His beat up Nissan that he insists is “vintage” and “priceless” idles next to you.

He can see you through the darkened glass of your car—your mascara is running down your face, tears streaked through your flawlessly applied makeup.

You still look so beautiful.

And it angers Jungkook that all that time you spent looking good for Seokjin meant nothing to him.

He motions for you to come over, pats the passenger seat next to him and smiles as he watches you open the door and slide into the security of his familiar car.

“You cleaned your car,” you murmur as you notice a severe lack of McDonald’s trash.

He sniffs haughtily.

“The trash added character.”

Jungkook doesn’t give you a chance to respond. Instead, he’s unbuckling his seatbelt and pulling you as close to him as he can get you. The instant his arms wrap around your body, the floodgates open again and your once-quieted tears turn back into full-fledged sobs.

“I loved him,” you gasp through the pain in your throat.

He rubs your back, pats your hair gently, soothing you the way he has for years now. Through every breakup, through every family fight with your older brother Namjoon, through all the mean girls in high school. Jungkook is the north star—always consistent, always guiding you back to safety.

“I know, babe,” he sighs. “You deserve someone who’s going to treat you right, who’s not just going to give up when things get hard.”

You choke back a cry against his Patagonia hoodie and bury your face further into the crook of his neck. He smells like Old Spice and the shampoo he uses, along with the smell of laundry soap you buy for him—he uses dish soap when he runs out and nearly broke his washing machine last time.

“I thought he was the one. I’m so stupid.”

Jungkook swallows hard. Tonight is about comforting you, not about feeling sorry for himself that you’re his best friend and not his girlfriend. He can’t help but think of what kind of life he would give you. He knows it’s one that wouldn’t end with you crying in a parking lot at 3 AM.

“You’re not stupid, you just loved him. And there’s nothing stupid about loving someone, even if it doesn’t work out,” he sighs as he cradles your head against him. It feels right having you there, pressed up against him and seeking comfort from the solace of his arms.

“Let’s go get a milkshake, yeah?” He asks as you pull your head up and look at him with sad, glassy eyes.

“Yeah,” you nod after a moment of staring.

Jungkook’s eyes sparkle with love, with hope. It makes the desperate, alone feeling inside you—disappear. Jungkook presses a soft kiss to your forehead and then starts the shaky ignition of his car, that takes three cranks of the key before it turns over.

He sends you a look, a laugh evident on your face.

“Don’t even start,” he warns. “The engine is fine.”

“Whatever you say,” you snort as you wipe an errant tear from your face.

“It’s a certified classic car! I could get millions for this baby!”

As the weeks pass, the pain of losing Seokjin becomes further and further from your mind. You can get through the day without crying anytime you see something that reminds you of him and even start flirting with others without feeling like you’re cheating.

You just still haven’t reached the point where dating someone else even feels possible. You’re terrified of allowing someone close to you, letting them into a place where you’re inviting them to possibly hurt you. You’re not sure your heart is ready for it.

“I think you’re just scared,” your older brother Namjoon states as he warms up a bottle of milk in boiling water.

He cradles his new baby in one arm while the other works at the bottle of milk.

“I’m not scared,” you huff. “I just don’t think it’s the right time.”

Namjoon sighs and hands the gurgling newborn baby off to you and readies the bottle for you to feed your new niece, Jisoo.

“Look, Seokjin sucks, okay? I know you two were together for some time, but in the end, he wasn’t the right one for you. There’s someone out there who is the right one for you. You know how many shit frogs I had to kiss before I got my prince?”

You make a face as you feed Jisoo, who happily sucks and gazes at the lights above.

“You call Jimin a prince?”

Namjoon sighs dreamily as he watches the baby and thinks of his husband.

“The dreamiest prince,” he breathes, eyes closed in bliss. “But back to your problems. I think you should get back out there. Go on some dates, meet some people. No one is telling you to fall in love and get married tomorrow. Just go have some fun.”

You allow Namjoon’s words to mull through your mind. What could be the harm in joining a few dating sites, perhaps spending some time at the gym or grocery store flirting with someone cute?

“Fine,” you say. “I’ll think about it.”

“Good. I can’t be the only one giving our parents grand-babies. Soo needs a cousin.”

You smile down at the tiny bundle in your arms and imagine a future where you have a baby of your own.

“Okay, I’m not trying to get knocked up, Joon.”

“Whatever,” he sighs. “Help me choose a wall color for me and Jimin’s new master bathroom.”

Tinder’s changed since the last time you used it, years ago. It’s gone from any semblance of dating to strictly an app used to get laid.

It’s discouraging swiping through all the obvious fuckboys. Sure, a quick and easy lay sounds great, but you’re also trying to go out and enjoy real, traditional dates, and it seems none of these guys want to step foot outside of a bedroom.

The swiping left becomes almost monotonous. You’re sitting on your couch, watching some documentary about serial killers, when a startling profile pops up on your Tinder feed.

The picture that pops up is... Jungkook. You can’t stop the bubble of laughter that leaps from your chest. His profile is so authentically Jungkook that you’re swiping right before you even know it.

Your brain doesn’t even comprehend what a match with Jungkook means, really. You’re still laughing as you click on the bubble to message him and send him as many laugh emojis as you can.

“Hey guys, what’s up, Kookie here with another Let’s Play Minecraft video for ya. Be sure to like and subscribe if you enjoy this kind of content.”

Jungkook’s headset is firmly wrapped around his head, mic next to his mouth and hands at the ready on his mouse and keyboard. He’s set and in the zone.

The game is well into play when the familiar chime of his phone goes off. It’s a Tinder notification—he can tell by the sound. He can’t help but roll his eyes, wondering what sort of boring conversation he’s meant to have with a girl who will probably ghost him, anyway.

He lazily lifts his phone and glances at the notification, before dropping it back to the desk.

His hand freezes on his mouse as he finally comprehends what he just read.

He just matched with YOU.

His best friend.

His secret, lifelong crush.

He sputters something into the microphone and stops recording his game, wildly grasping for the phone and unlocking it.

YN: 😂😂😂😂 is your bio a Minecraft pickup line?!

He pauses, attempts to collect his thoughts, before desperately typing on his screen.

JUNGKOOK: Why? 😉😏 did it work?

You spend the rest of your night jokingly flirting with Jungkook, sending GIFs and emojis in between the silly lines you’re using on each other.

Right before you’re about to head to sleep, Jungkook sends one last message.

JUNGKOOK: What if we went on a date lolol. Haha jk. Unless?? 👀👀👀

Your thumbs hover over the keys to your phone.

A date with Jungkook? Even though you matched with him, you’ve never thought of a date with your childhood best friend.

YN: alright, it’s only fair since we matched 😝 show me how you treat these tinder ladies

“I have a date with Jungkook tonight,” you tell your brother, Namjoon, over the phone.

Over the crying of your newborn niece, you hear Namjoon splutter in confusion.

“You what!?” He nearly screams. “Jeon Jungkook? Like... the annoying kid you’ve been friends with since fourth grade?”

You huff.

“He’s not annoying! He’s my best friend. We ironically matched on Tinder and… Well, why the fuck not? Nothing serious is going to happen. We’ll go out and have a story to tell about how incompatible we are.”

Namjoon doesn’t reply. Instead, you hear him speak to his husband.

“She’s going on a date with Jungkook,” he says over the muffle of his hand on the receiver.

There’s a shuffle, and the dulcet voice of your brother-in-law, Jimin, comes over the line.

“Girl,” he starts. “What the fuck?”

You chuckle as you move about your closet, trying to decide what’s appropriate to wear on a date with your best friend.

“It’s nothing!”

“Mm-hmm,” Jimin tuts. “You know the boy is in love with you.”

“Okay, Chim, you’ve been spending too much time cooped up with my brother. It’s affecting your grip on reality.”

“Sure, honey. I just tell it like it is. Don’t break his heart.”

You roll your eyes.

“I won’t break his heart because there’s nothing there, Jimin.”

“I’ll be expecting your call later.”

“Yes, dad. Love you guys.”

“We love you too, sweetheart. But really, don’t break that poor boy’s heart.”

You open your mouth to retort yet another reassurance that there’s nothing to break, but the line goes dead.

“Fucking Jimin,” you mutter as you throw your phone to the bed.

You can’t allow yourself to think that Jungkook might have feelings for you. It’s totally out of the questions. He’s your best friend. The guy who shoves Cheetos up his nose to make you laugh and falls asleep during every movie night with his face in the popcorn bowl. He’s just Jungkook. This date is just a funny way to hang out.

So, why do you care so much about what you wear?

You’re still standing in front of your closet, attempting to find something respectable to wear. It doesn’t matter that the last time Jungkook saw you; it was with mascara streaming down your face and a hoodie from Namjoon’s college swimming days and ripped leggings. Jungkook has seen you in nearly everything you wear, so your indecisiveness gives you pause.

Do you want Jungkook to be attracted to you? Do you want to do your best to look as presentable as you would for a normal date?

The thudding of your heart tells you that maybe you’re more interested in this being a date than you’re allowing yourself to believe.

You shake all thoughts off.

No, you won’t allow yourself to overthink a night that should just be fun.

You settle for a fitted and simple summer dress, tights and heels. Simple, easy, respectable but also showing enough cleavage and sculpt of your ass to ensure you look more dressed up than not.

Perfect.

With one last look in the mirror, you’re ready.

JUNGKOOK: I’m outside!

ME: See you soon!

Jungkook taps his foot anxiously as he sits on the bench outside your apartment. His tight black jeans feel like a second skin on his legs, and the black button-down shirt he’s tucked in makes him rethink his choice of outfit.

Is he too casual?

He’s never really worn something like this around you. This is what Jungkook wears when he wants to seduce. This is what every girl he’s desperately wished was you got to see. The girls who swooned over his messy hair, the way his jeans display his toned thighs, the peek of skin at his throat.

Maybe it’s too much.

Maybe he’s afraid he’ll scare you away.

Maybe he’s afraid you won’t like it.

He’s given no chance to ruminate anymore because you’re exiting the building and walking straight towards him.

He doesn’t think he remembers how to breathe.

It’s as if you walk towards him in slow motion. Angels chorus around him and the setting sun sparkles on your face like a spotlight. There’s nothing in the world anymore, nothing but you.

You’re the most beautiful human he’s ever seen in his life.

“Hi,” you smile as you approach him.

He continues to stare, eyes traveling over the soft curves of your cheeks and jaw, trailing down to the way your dress clings just right to each dip of your body. His throat goes dry.

You are without a doubt the girl of his dreams.

“Jungkook?”

It pushes him out of his reverie, eyes widening as he realizes he’s been staring at you for maybe a few minutes too long to play off as normal.

“Hey!” He coughs, attempting to right himself.

“You okay?” You ask, eyebrow lifted in concern.

“Yeah! Yup! Totally! I’m okay—a-okay, absolutely great.” He internally slaps himself.

“You clean up nice,” you smile as your eyes elevate up and down the lean form of his body.

“Oh?” He asks, taken aback.

In his daze, he never even realized what you’re thinking about him, rather only how intensely he was thinking about you.

“This must be the Jungkook that all the girls in college couldn’t stop begging me to hook them up with.”

His cheeks flame with sudden embarrassment, hand moving to the back of his neck to rub it awkwardly.

“Ha, yeah,” he swallows. “You look r-really nice too. I don’t think I’ve seen you in a dress since your brother’s wedding.”

The smile that he’s rewarded with nearly knocks him on his ass. “Thanks! It’s fun to dress up cute again. Jin hated this dress.”

A stab of pain eeks its way into Jungkook’s heart. Seokjin. God, how he hates that man.

“Well, uh, you can wear whatever you want with me!” He assures.

You loop your arm around Jungkook’s, saddling up to his side as you look at him expectantly.

“Well, are we going?”

Jungkook can’t help but smile at the sparkle in your eye, the way you peer up at him with those soft, cherry lips. He wants to capture them with his own, kiss you until you don’t remember Seokjin’s name ever again.

But he resists.

“Let’s go!”

You never thought you’d admit it to yourself. You never even thought it could happen.

But the date is everything you’ve ever wanted, and more.

Jungkook is still Jungkook, still just as silly and easy to talk to as he always is.

But he’s also charming. Flirtatious, even. He holds doors open for you; he rests his hand on the small of your back as he guides you towards your table at dinner. He feeds you bites of his dessert and lets his eyes linger on the way your lips look wrapped around his fork.

Jungkook treats you the way you’ve always wanted to be treated. Like someone he wants to cherish for the rest of your combined lives. Someone he wants to take care of, build a future with, enjoy life with.

And as much as it thrills you, it absolutely frightens you.

It’s when you’re walking down the small river trail together that Jungkook slips his hand into yours and laces your fingers together. The once-steady beat of your heart becomes erratic. He continues chatting—as if holding your hand was a subconscious act for him. He’s knee deep in a story of his Minecraft server when you stop walking, causing him to pause.

“What’s up?” He asks curiously.

Your eyes glitter with anticipation, with fear, as you stare at the gorgeous man before you. He looks like a full course meal in his tight jeans and he makes you feel like a princess. You can suddenly see doing life by his side—no longer his platonic best friend, but as his lover and lifelong partner.

You say nothing. Instead, you simply close the space between you two by grabbing the buttons of his shirt and tugging his lips onto yours.

“Wha—oh, mmmmmm.”

Jungkook is still for a second as he battles the surprise, but jumps into action and cups your face with his hands, deepening the kiss by pushing his tongue past your lips and swirling it around your own.

Your bodies press close together. He can feel your breasts against his chest and he desperately wants to rip the dress off your body and worship you like he’s always wanted to.

As soon as the kiss started, it’s over. You’re pulling away with eyes wide with fear.

“I’m sorry, I—I need to go,” you stammer awkwardly.

Jungkook’s heart drops to his stomach.

“What? We were going to get ice cream?”

You can feel tears building in the corners of your eyes. You’re so confused, so unsure of what you’re feeling. You want to stay and kiss Jungkook until you’re clawing at the clothing on his body, pressing kisses to the firm column of his neck. You want to run far away, too scared to admit it to him you’re sure you could love him for the rest of his life.

You can’t lose that friendship. You can’t risk everything you love about Jungkook. He’ll only hurt you the way every boyfriend ever has.

“I don’t really feel well,” you swallow hard as you lie. Jungkook always knows when you’re lying.

His body stiffens.

“Okay, let me walk you home.”

You shake your head, already moving away from the man.

“It’s fine. We’re nearby. I’ll just run or something.”

He opens his mouth to protest, but you’ve already turned face and started running the direction away from him.

Jungkook watches, misty-eyed, as the girl of his dreams runs further and further away from him.

You’re sobbing as you finally reach home, out of breath and confused. The phone call to Namjoon is quick.

“Yo,” he says cooly as he answers the phone. His tone changes when he hears your whimpering sobs on the other end.

“Joonie,” you whisper. “I fucked up.”

“Oh god,” Namjoon quickly shuffles and calls his husband over, before putting the phone on speaker.

“What’s happened, baby?” Jimin’s sweet voice asks.

“I—I kissed him,” you sob, holding yourself close in the comfort of the elevator.

Namjoon and Jimin look at each other with knowing looks.

“We’re on our way over.”

Jimin knows the first order of business is to stop the crying. He places sleeping baby Jisoo in your arms, which quiets your whimpers enough as you cling to the tiny baby. He knows your weakness is sleeping babies.

Namjoon looks on anxiously, hates seeing his little sister upset and with no way to make it better.

Jimin’s been asked to take the lead on this, because he knows his husband's response is to cry as well—he gets emotional anytime he sees her cry. Namjoon agreed, knowing Jimin was better suited for the conversation.

“Tell us what happened,” Jimin asks quietly. You’re rocking the baby gently, sobs turned to sniffles. “Did something go wrong on the date?”

Your eyes peer up at your brother-in-law’s, a wounded look that makes Jimin feel sad. Namjoon clenches beside him, and Jimin lays a hand on his lap to soothe the protective brother.

“No,” you whisper. “That’s the thing. It was an amazing date.”

Jimin watches you curiously, but remains silent to let you continue.

“We had dinner, and we played arcade games and we walked around. And he was so… fuck, he was perfect. It was like dating the guy of my dreams.”

Jimin nods knowingly.

“And it surprised you how much you liked him.”

“Yeah,” you sniffle. “At the end, he was holding my hand and just talking about normal, stupid Jungkook shit, but this time it felt like more. Like, I felt in my heart that I wanted to be the one he always talked to about it. I wanted to be the one he came home to at night.”

Jimin pats your cheek lovingly, the care for his sister-in-law clear in his gaze.

“You don’t just like him, honey. I think you might even love him.”

You pull baby Jisoo tighter into your grasp and nod, pathetic tears slipping down your face.

“I just left him. Like, I ran away from him like an asshole.”

Namjoon grunts and takes a spot next to Jimin. “If he loves you, which I’m sure he does, he’ll still be waiting for you.”

Jimin nods and rests a hand on his husband's back. “But you better have one hell of an apology.”

Jungkook doesn’t answer your phone calls. He doesn’t respond to your texts, snapchats or Instagram DM’s. He doesn’t even look at the TikToks you sent him! It’s becoming infuriating to get in touch with him.

You take matters into your own hands and storm to his apartment after work, the rising tension in your shoulders and stomach full of rocks an indicator of your anxiety about the future of this relationship.

Jungkook opens the door wearing nothing but a pair of grey sweats. All the carefully crafted words exit your mind at light

speed and you’re left gasping, wide-eyed at the chiseled body of your best friend.

“Can I help you?” He asks, tone flat.

Ouch.

You push past him into the apartment you know so well. “Yeah, you could start by answering your phone.”

Jungkook rolls his eyes and closes the door, then heads back towards the large gaming setup in the living room.

“My apologies for not responding to the girl who literally ran away from me on a date.”

Your cheeks heat uncomfortably as you stand in the center of his living room, arms crossed over your chest.

“Jungkook, listen. I’m—”

“Please,” he shakes his head as he sits down at the impressive gaming chair. “Save the apologies. I get it.”

“You don’t get it!” You say, exasperated. “You don’t get any of it! That’s why I’m here.”

Jungkook narrows a look at you then stands from his chair. Slowly, he makes his way towards you and stands inches from your face. The proximity of his bare, toned chest to your body makes your throat dry.

“No, you don’t get it.” His voice is threateningly quiet, completely different from his usual chipper tone.

“Jungkook, I’m sorry.”

“Sorry for what?” He quirks his head sarcastically, and you’re struck by the sharp lines of his jaw. “Sorry for running away from the date? Sorry for going on a date? Sorry for making me feel like I had a fucking chance when you kissed me?”

You swallow hard and open your mouth to reply, but he cuts you off.

“I’m sorry too. For giving myself way too much hope that this could ever be something. I’m sorry for myself for thinking you’d at least respect me enough to reject me politely.”

“You always had a chance!” You can feel tears building in your eyes and Jungkook feels his heart pound in his chest like a drum.

He scoffs, a harsh and mirthless laugh. “Clearly not.”

“I just—,” you start. “I never saw you like that before and suddenly you became everything I’ve ever dreamed of. It was like getting hit by a train, Kook! Suddenly my best friend turned into the man of my dreams.”

He shakes his head, stepping back away from you.

“I really find it hard to believe you,” he whispers. “I can’t let myself hope.”

“Jungkook, please,” you beg as tears start slipping down your face. “Please believe me.”

“Just leave,” he sighs. “I hate making you cry.”

You want so badly to wrap yourself in his arms, cry into his chest like you always do when you’re hurt. But you stand still, frozen in your shame and embarrassment of hurting your best friend so badly.

“I’m sorry,” you murmur, before you spin around as quickly as you can and leave Jungkook’s apartment in a flurry.

He watches as the door slams behind you, eyes full of sadness and regret. As much as he wants to believe you, have faith in every word you said, he can’t allow himself to get his hopes up again.

He can’t watch you run away from him again.

“Welcome back to Kookie’s Wild Weekly Walkthrough!” Jungkook cheers as enthusiastically as he can through his microphone. “The weekly segment where I react to your Minecraft worlds!”

Jungkook needed to dive back into streaming to take his mind off of you. He hasn’t left his apartment in days, only subsisting on takeout and coffee. At least he was making more money and his subscribers didn’t seem to mind the up-tick in content.

“Tonight I’ll be walking through a creation sent by,” he squints at the username. “‘Kookiesgal95’ Aww that’s cute.”

He readies the content and starts his camera as he watches the YouTube link. His subscribers love his reaction videos—it’s a highly requested segment.

The video starts off easily, a generic Minecraft world that looks like a park.

“Hi Kook.”

The voice that reverberates through his headphones makes him pause the video quickly, wide-eyed with recognition.

It’s you. He’d know that voice from a million others.

Shit. He’s going to have to edit so much of this clip. He’s staring at the screen as if he’s just seen a ghost.

Unsteadily, he clicks play again and watches as you lead him through your Minecraft creation.

“I wanted to recreate something for someone very special in my life.”

Jungkook doesn’t even bother to react to this anymore. This entire video is going to be worthless—there’s nothing he can say.

The video pans around the Minecraft setup and he can see what looks like handmade swings and merry go rounds.

“It took me a really long time to do this and an embarrassing amount of help from some twelve-year-olds on the internet.”

He laughs and is stunned by the wet tears rolling down his cheeks. He hadn’t realized he was crying.

“I re-created a park that is really special to my best friend and I.”

He feels his chest tighten and relax. The park.

“This is the spot where he held me when my dog died when I was nine. I still miss that dog.”

The view is on a spot next to a blocky oak tree. Jungkook remembers that day, remembers your heartbroken sobs as he whispered words of comfort to you. He misses that dog, too.

“This is where he and my brother got in a fight when we were eleven, because my brother called me a stupid-head. My best friend has always been protective of me, even from my own big brother.”

He can still remember pushing Namjoon around after hearing him call you names. He pushed Namjoon over and threatened to use his “big muscles” if he did it again.

The camera pans to an enormous structure, rather sloppily made, of a slide and monkey bars.

“This is where we first shared a joint in high school. I coughed a lung up and he ran down the street to a gas station at ten pm to get me a bottle of water even though I told him I was okay,”

The memory of the bewildered 7-11 employee plays through his mind. The man watched as a very stoned, very out of breath, Jungkook paid for a bottle of water in coins.

The video continues playing, moves towards what appears to be a parking lot made of cobblestone blocks.

“This is where he held me when my world fell apart.”

The break-up. The way you cried and cried and cried in his arms and he held you as if you were the only thing left on Earth.

“This is where he reminded me I’m worthy of love, that I’m not broken. This is where he held me like I was delicate, but treated me like I was unbreakable.”

His tears don’t stop. Jungkook feels his heart thundering in his chest like a summer storm.

He can hear your sniffles through the recording of the video—you were crying too. It pans around to the swing set.

“And this is where I’ll tell him everything, tonight. Where I’ll tell him how deeply I love him and how I want to make him the happiest guy in the world. In all of Minecraft and beyond. I hope he comes.”

Jungkook doesn’t even bother turning his camera off.

Instead, he’s running to change out of his three-day-old clothes and bolt out the door.

The creaky, rusty metal of the swing set is deafeningly loud in the silence of your park.

It’s dark, just a few street lights around to illuminate the perimeter, but it’s otherwise only lit by the moon.

It’s getting cold. You shiver in your hoodie and kick at the dirt under your swing.

Maybe he didn’t see the video. Maybe he wasn’t going to show.

Maybe it was too late.

You spent hours working on the Minecraft world, staying up at all hours of the night to build and craft a poor re-creation of this park. The twelve-year-olds on Reddit had been invaluable and Namjoon definitely made fun of you for your creative assistants. But it had all been worth it.

“Fuck,” you speak out loud to no one, as you try to warm your hands in the pockets of your sweater. “It’s cold.”

“You should have brought a jacket.”

The sudden voice from behind startles you. You hop off the swing and whip around to face down the intruder.

Jungkook.

He looks so good. He’s wearing a thick coat and tight jeans. Your eyes take a delicious journey from head to toe.

He can’t help but preen at your blatant appreciation. He enjoys knowing you’re attracted to him, at least physically.

“You came.”

He nods and takes a nervous step towards you. He’s still far away, more than an arm's-reach away. You’re desperate to bring him closer, to pull him tight against your body and wrap yourself around him. You never want to be without his gentle touch again.

“I felt pretty compelled to come after you made all this in Minecraft for me.” He cracks a wry smile, a boy-ish grin that makes your heart flutter.

“It took me twenty-five hours and some teenagers to help.”

He laughs, a beautiful sound that warms you. “I’m sure they were ecstatic to help.”

You chew at the inside of your cheek, nervous at what he thinks about your in-game confession.

“Did you mean it?” He asks. He steps closer—one more step.

“Every word.”

His eyes are searching yours for the truth, desperately diving into the depths for validity.

“Why did you run away?” Another step.

You swallow hard, heavy tears brimming in your eyes.

“You went from being the silly best friend to being the person I could spend the rest of my life with. It all hit me. It’s always been you.”

One more step and now he’s just within your reach. If you stuck your hand out, your fingers would graze the soft puff of his coat, the delicate skin of his neck.

“I’ve always felt that way about you. I never thought you’d feel the same.”

You smile softly, timidly. “It just took me a little while longer to realize it.”

All at once, Jungkook closes the gap and holds you gently by your cheeks. His thumbs wipe at the moisture under your eyes.

“I promise to never make you cry again,” he whispers reverently.

“And I promise to never run away from you again.”

Jungkook smiles at that, cradling your face like you’re the most expensive and precious jewel.

“Can I kiss you again?” He asks, somewhat unsure of himself.

“I would like it if you would.”

As Jungkook presses his cold, plush lips to your own, you make a promise to yourself to never go a day without kissing him again.

“I can’t believe you’re in my bedroom,” Jungkook murmurs as he kisses at your face. After the park, Jungkook loaded you into his priceless Nissan and scurried home. You could hardly keep your hands off him as he drove you back to his place—reaching and caressing the spots on his body you’re dying to become familiar with.

“I’ve been in your bedroom before,” you remind him as he tugs up the hoodie you’re wearing.

“God, don’t be so semantic when I’m trying to fuck you,” he says before throwing the hoodie to a corner of the room. “You know what I mean.”

Jungkook kisses you again, all lips and teeth and tongue. He kisses you like you’re the last breath of air, and he’s greedy for every bit. He grips your hips, not too tight, and brings your body against his. You can feel him grow in hardness in his too tight, and it feels like bliss.

Teasingly, you grind your hips against his, making him shudder with desire.

“I want you,” he whines as he nibbles at your lip.

“Really? I couldn’t tell.”

He opens his eyes to level a look at you, pulling his mouth away from yours.

“You’re such a little smartass.”

His hands become feverish on your jeans, tugging apart the button and flicking down the fly. He pushes them down quickly, and you kick them off carelessly.

He can’t stop looking at you in your bra and panties, standing at the foot of his bed.

“Holy shit, okay, this is happening, right? Like, this is real?”

You smirk, pleased with Jungkook’s obvious excitement.

“Let me prove it’s not just a dream.”

Softly, you spin Jungkook around and push him down to sit on his bed. He complies easily, eyes wide and excited.

“If this is a dream, would you be able to feel this?” You ask as you unbuckle his belt and open his jeans. He doesn’t reply, simply watches you as you tug his jeans down to his thighs.

His cock strains hard against his tight boxers, and you run a teasing finger over the obvious bulge.

“Oh fuck,” he breathes.

“Feels pretty real, huh?”

“Y-yeah.”

Your delicate hands gently tug at the waistband of his boxers and easily work them down enough to free the length of his cock. It springs out easily and your eyes widen at the impressive size. You assumed he would be at least average, but you’re looking at something definitely more.

“Oh wow,” you whisper. “You’re fucking huge.”

Jungkook grins. “All for you, baby.” The cockiness is palpable.

One solid grip around him wipes the presumptuous smile off his face, replaced with a gasping, shuddering moan.

“How about this? Not a dream?”

He struggles to find his voice, instead he’s gulping for air like a fish out of water.

“That’s what I thought,” you whisper before settling into a position on your knees. “I’ll admit, I’ve dreamt about this too. I always felt so ashamed for dreaming about sucking my best friend's cock.”

You press soft kisses to the head of his length, teasing the sensitive areas at the tip before kissing up and down the length.

“Fuck, fuck, fuck.”

His evident desire for you encourages you, and your tongue swipes at the crown of his tip and swirls around it gently.

“Oh my god.” His eyes shutter closed and you trace the veins in his dick with your tongue.

“This h-has to be a dreeeaaaaam,” he whines as you make an exceptionally long stripe with the flat of your tongue.

You pull off for a moment, humming. He springs his eyes open and watches as you reach behind your back and unsnap your bra. Your breasts escape with a bounce and his eyes widen, nearly bulging out of their sockets.

“What the fuck,” he whines. “You have the most amazing tits.”

He reaches out to grasp them and you slap them away playfully.

“Not yet,” you smirk. “Still trying to convince you you’re not asleep.”

He sucks in his breath and puts his hands back to the bed to steady himself, eyes never leaving yours (except to stare at the luscious curves of your body).

Grasping your breasts in both hands, you smash them together lightly in an elaborate show of what Jungkook wants most. You lean over his body and place the throbbing thickness of his cock in between your tits, allowing him to feel just how soft and warm they are.

“Shit!” He yelps, grabbing his sheets in a tight fist. “Are you really tit-fucking me right now?!”

Slowly, you lift your body up and down, allowing his cock to feel each stroke of your breasts. You nod at his question and continue to pump up and down.

“Still dreaming?”

He whines and shakes his head, already feeling so close to the edge. His cock is slick from your teasing licks and the pressure of your tits surrounding him had his mind spinning with desire.

“Ahhh, I’m so fucking close,” he warns.

You continue, speeding up the friction and pressure of your strokes.

“I want you to cum on me, Kook,” you whisper encouragingly. “Cum on my tits, please?”

Jungkook feels like he’s a wire about to snap, and your thick, sultry voice and incredibly perfect breasts are the snips that breaks him apart.

“Oh, shit,” he grunts. “Gonna paint your titties white, baby.”

His moans echo around the walls of his bedroom, small gasps of pleasure and your name escaping his perfectly plump pout.

His hot load splatters on your chest, and you stroke him through each pulse of his cock. You’re slippery with his seed now, and when you pull away from his spent length, you make a show of rubbing in his cum over your chest.

“Okay, definitely not dreaming,” he says in a daze as he watches you lift a wet finger to your mouth, popping it in to clean it off. “Who knew you were so fucking kinky?”

His confidence grows as he catches his breath. He can’t believe he’s sitting on his bed with you on your knees, breasts covered in his load. You’re suckling the cum off your finger like it’s his cock, and he’s desperate for more.

“There are lots of things you don’t know about me,” you shrug.

Swiftly, he grabs you gently by your bicep and pulls you close, sucking at your lips until you’re both standing.

“I plan to find out everything.”

Suddenly, you’re switching positions and Jungkook is pushing you down into the bed. You lay flat in the center, body relaxed and eager for your best friend.

“What are you doing?” You ask. He’s still standing at the end of the bed, watching you get comfortable. Once he’s satisfied that you’re lying exactly how you want, he settles himself by your feet.

“Worshipping you,” he says as he lifts an ankle and presses gentle kisses to your calf. “Showing you how much I adore you.” More kisses, soft and sweet. “Showing you how I plan on treating you for the rest of your life.”

He takes his time, lavishing your legs with his mouth. He kisses and sucks at any spot, sexual or not. He mouths at the roundness of your knees, your firm hamstrings. He presses his love into the skin of your thighs, mouthing his praises with each kiss.

He reaches the dip of your hips and he gently kisses your exposed skin as he tugs your cotton panties off you.

“I have loved every inch of you since before I can remember,” he praises as his lips skim over the mound of your cunt. “And I don’t plan on stopping soon.”

Your body feels like it’s on fire, as if Jungkook lights a match at every spot his lips press against. Your eyes close, and you allow Jungkook to continue his pious worship of your body.

He teases around your folds, kissing your labia ever so gently—making you gasp. He doesn’t linger long, only kisses you enough to stir the licking flames of heat in your belly.

He kisses at your stomach, gently nibbling and laving at the softness there. You try to hide from him, try to hide your insecurities of your body in his thorough exploration, but he moves your hands.

“I know you don’t like this part of your body,” he murmurs. His voice is so soft, so pure and sincere. “But I do. I love everything about you.”

His tongue swirls around your belly button, making you gasp at the ticklish sensation.

“You’re so pretty. So perfect.”

He continues upwards, lips now trailing to your full breasts. He takes his time there, licking and kissing and flicking at your nipples with his tongue. It feels exhilarating—Jungkook’s mouth feels like everything you want it to feel like. His tongue is warm, and he bites with just enough pressure to make your back arch off the bed into his embrace.

His hands explore, taking stock of every millimeter of skin he can find. He wants to memorize every freckle, every bump, every scar and line. Your body is his paradise, and all he can think of is you, you, you.

One hand travels down your body as he moves his lips up your neck. It snakes down your stomach and deftly slides over your soaked core. You whine as you feel his fingers part your folds and dip into the wetness.

“So wet,” he says out loud, verbalizing every tantalizing detail of your body. “So perfect.”

His lips are finally at your own and you kiss him passionately, tongue swirling around his as he slides his two fingers past your clit and into your drenched hole. You gasp against his mouth, eyes widening as he slowly scissors his fingers into you and pumps slowly. It’s almost teasing, the way he fucks his fingers in you. Slow, firm movements with his powerful hands.

“Jungkook!” You gasp. He doesn’t reply, instead he bites at your lip and tugs, then trails his hot mouth back down to your nipples. He can’t get enough of your breasts and the slightly salty taste of him still lingering.

“You feel so good,” he says as he speeds his fingers up minutely. “So tight and wet for me.”

Your hips writhe in need. He’s giving you what you need, but not enough. You need more, more. You want to feel him, all of him, spearing you open.

“Please, Kook,” you groan. “I need you.”

He laughs softly against your nipple and sucks extra hard, letting it pop out of his mouth audibly.

“And I need you, my love.”

“Fuck me, please.” You’re desperate, thighs quaking from the slow teasing. “I want you to fuck me, Jungkook.”

Chills shudder down Jungkook’s spine and he’s powerless to say no, not when you demand it so well.

“With pleasure,” he agrees. He pulls his fingers from within you and copies your move, sliding them into his mouth to suck your essence off.

He’s never looked sexier. His eyes are dark chocolate pools of burning intensity, and you feel your breath become shaky as you watch him clean his fingers with precision.

After he’s deemed his fingers sufficiently clean, he settles himself between your legs. Easily, he lifts your hips and shoves a pillow underneath, elevating you to a more comfortable position. He grabs your legs and tosses each over his shoulders so they’re higher in the air.

“I’m going to fuck you so good, baby,” he promises as he rubs the tip of his cock on your soppy slit. “Condom?”

You shake your head, appreciative of his question but desperate to feel him completely.

“Birth control. Regularly tested. Haven’t had sex in a while,” you blurt out. “You good?”

He nods in agreement. “Same. Well, except the birth control. But, I’d take it if they made it for men.”

“Jungkook!” You whine. Your best friend is so easily sidetracked. “Please, can you fuck me?”

He grins. “Tsk, someone is impatient.”

A low moan is rumbling in your chest as he continues to rub his thick cock at your entrance.

“I swear to god, you’re the biggest tease.”

“Oh, I’m definitely the biggest.”

Before you can react, he’s pushing past your entrance and sliding deep in your walls. Your position makes his cock feel deep, and he bottoms out and stills there, eyes closed in bliss.

“Holy shit,” he gasps. “This is absolutely the best pussy I’ve ever felt.”

You wiggle your hips as you get used to the sensation of the delicious stretch.

“Please don’t tell me how many pussies you’ve felt when you’re balls deep inside of me.”

Jungkook turns his head and kisses at your legs resting on his shoulders, lavishing them with his praise once more as he keeps his cock buried inside your tight heat.

“Yours is the only one that matters. The only pussy I’ll ever be in for the rest of my life.”

“That’s a good answer,” you smile. “Now, fuck me, lover boy.”

Jungkook winks and grips your hips with his hands. He swiftly pulls out, enamored with the way his cock is already covered in your creamy essence, then eagerly pushes back in. He sets a pace and soon the sound of skin clapping on skin echoes around the room.

“Oh god!” You’re moaning loudly, unabashedly. You’re thankful that Jungkook’s old roommate, Yoongi, moved out to live with his boyfriend Hoseok months ago. He’d definitely complain about the noise for months. “Fuck, Jungkook, you feel so good.”

Jungkook fucks into you with ferocity, speed and power gradually rising as he feels his core tighten with the coming anticipation of release.

“Mmm, you look so fucking sexy like this,” he murmurs. “Getting fucked by your best friend’s fat cock.”

He moves a hand from your hip, trails it up your body to squeeze at your breast, before he’s cupping your face once again. His hips snap against yours and he loves the way your mouth utters little squeaks and gasps with each deep thrust into you.

“God, my beautiful girl,” he groans. “Can’t wait to cum in this pussy, shit, you got me so fucking close.”

You open your mouth desperately and Jungkook easily slips his thumb in. You latch on quickly and suck, tongue swirling around the tip like you’re sucking another cock. It nearly sends him over the edge and the speed of his hips matches his desperate need for more.

“Fucking hell,” he bites back. He can feel his belly tighten, driven further and further to the edge by the constricting wetness of your cunt.

He pulls his thumb out and moves it down to where his cock spears into you, allowing your spit to swirl with his thumb around your clit. Your core tightens around him at the added stimulation and your back arches up in ecstasy.

“I’m so c-close, Kook,” you plead, as if begging for mercy. “Please, I want to cum so bad.”

The speed of his thumb increases, and he watches as your face twists in pleasure and desperation.

“Cum on my cock, baby, let me see you fall apart. Show me what I’ve dreamt of for so long.”

A high and wanton cry ripples out of your body as he savagely increases his speed, both his cock and thumb working overtime to drive you towards your end. The butterflies that erupt in your lower stomach make your moans louder, higher. You’re so close, closer than ever. It’s building to an incredible crescendo.

He can tell you’re close—he sees it on your face as your back arches and your fists grip his sheets.

“You look like a fucking angel, baby,” he whines as he soaks in the vision of you writhing underneath him. “I bet you cum like an angel, too. Let me see it, let me see.”

With just a few more swirls of his thumb and his deep, hard strokes, you’re soaring over the edge into a pool of nothingness. Your cunt pulsates wildly around his length, milking and stroking it with your tight walls. You throw your head back, moaning out his name at the top of his lungs, letting his neighbors know just who fucks you so well.

“Holy shit,” he gasps, hips stuttering as he fucks into your juicy hole. “That was so fucking sexy.”

You grip his forearms, holding onto him tight and encourage him to go harder. “Cum inside me, Kookie, please. I’m all yours, make me yours.”

His heart feels like it might burst in his chest. He’s always wanted you to say it to him, to hand over your love to him like he does so easily to you. It’s all so much, so overwhelming, and the feeling of your hot cunt still fluttering around him sends him reeling into his own completion.

He spills into you, warm seed coating your walls and pooling inside your womb. He fucks himself through each throb of his cock until he’s sure he’s drained every ounce of himself into you.

Your legs slip off his shoulders easily, and he gently pulls himself out of you. He falls beside you, panting with exertion, and wraps an arm around you.

After a few silent moments of catching your breath, Jungkook pulls you in close to him until he can koala-cling to you, arms and legs both wrapped around your body.

“Mine,” he whispers as he kisses your head. “All mine.”

You return the favor, clinging to your best friend—boyfriend—like he’s your only lifeline.

“All yours.”

“So, you’re telling me, you got together because of Minecraft?” Jimin asks, pointing a fork in your direction. It’s been months now since your grand virtual declaration of love for Jungkook. Months of bliss and romance, laughter and companionship.

You were right all along. Jungkook is everything you’ve wanted in a man and more.

You’re sitting at your brother’s expensive dinner table, enjoying a meal with his family with your boyfriend at your side.

“Yeah, Jimin, I guess that’s what I’m saying,” you retort as you roll your eyes. “Minecraft and Tinder.”

Baby Jisoo is awake and in your brother’s arms, but she’s whining and wiggling to leave him.

“What’s wrong, Soo?” Namjoon asks with a pout on his lips. “Why don’t you want daddy anymore?”

Jimin snorts at his husband and you hold out your arms for your baby niece. “Come here, baby, I know you want auntie.”

Namjoon dutifully hands over his daughter, sulking that he’s been picked over for his sister.

You cradle the baby in your arms, expecting her to calm once she’s there, but she continues to fuss. She’s thrusting her arms out and nearly crying, reaching towards Jungkook who’s busy chowing down on Jimin’s homemade ramen.

“I think she wants you, Kook,” you murmur. He looks at you, then to the baby, then back to you, before he wipes his hands and face clean with a napkin.

“Oh, okay,” he whispers, slowly taking the baby from your arms with your help. “Hello, ma’am.”

Namjoon and Jimin laugh. “She’s a baby, Jungkook, not an elderly woman,” your brother teases.

Jungkook doesn’t listen. He’s too busy cooing at the baby in his arms and playing with her tiny hands. Namjoon turns his attention away and looks at you.

“Guess I won’t be the only provider of grandchildren for much longer.”

You playfully glare at him and turn away to watch your boyfriend. Watching Jungkook interact with your niece makes your heart swell, your soul sing. He’d be a perfect father.

“I swear, if he teaches her how to play Minecraft, he’s banned from the household,” Jimin grumbles. “This is a No-Nerd-Zone.”

Jungkook cradles the child and rocks back and forth, singing her a soft, made-up song, before he looks over at you.

“Hey, I want one of these,” he smiles. “Can we have one?”

You lay a hand on your stomach, a soft bump not quite visible yet. It’s only been one test, the lines faintly indicating ‘positive’ on the stick. You wanted to make sure, get confirmation before you spill the beans.

“Sure, Kookie.”

He grins and leans over to kiss you, before turning his attention back to the baby. “Okay, Jisoo, now let me tell you all about the Endermen.”

Jimin groans. “Oh my god, do not give Minecraft facts to my infant!”

tag list - @giadalin @nohayarcoirissintormenta @pjmislovely @xhazmania @marcoazam2 @eggbutnotyolk @feel-the-sunset @unicornbabylover @aretha170 @jeonmisha @hordanhearsawhooo

#bts smut #jungkook smut #bts fic #jeon jungkook smut #jungkook #ficswithluv #jjk smut #bts fics #jjk fic #jungkook fic

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curious-menace · 4 years ago

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Any riddler u want x depressed male SO with bad ptsd (help i need serotonin and ur content is So Good)

aww bb. im sorry youre not doin so good rn. you know im always here for u <3

i think i will do arkham riddler and maybe blacklight riddler since they also canonically have PTSD, i feel like they would be able to empathise.

read more for mentions of mental illness and abuse

Arkham Riddler

He could write a 5 page essay on how trauma has fucked him up, without actually admitting he’s been fucked up . He’s pissy no one seems to take PTSD in men seriously unless its from combat. You both have been told to “man up” and get over it. Cheers neurotypical, thats helpful.

riddler has never been diagnosed with PTSD but even if he had, he’s not going to admit he’s got it. then you roll around and he’s like “oh shit it me.” when he sees you struggle. He’s still not even trying to get help but you help him understand so much more.

Riddler has an eidetic memory. Everything seems like a flashback to him at times. he understands you cant always control it. for his sake and yours he tries his best to keep his hideouts

he has a lot of stuff around to help with dissociation lying around. heavy blankets, tangle toys textured surfaces, sometimes lil sweets , snacks or food just to have one of your senses engaged and hopefully ground you.

he really struggles to control his fits of anger at times. but, he knows how triggering this is for you so he’s doing his best to just take himself away when he feels it coming on. You seem to have a 6th sense for his tantrums and depending on your headspace, can either remove yourself from the situation or try and comfort him through it.

he hates to see you lie under your depression. in his narcissism riddled mind, he really thinks he can help cure you. but seeing you just lie there in bed not wanting to exist mostly discourages him from taking up chemistry and pharmacy to make you any experimental mood drugs. He’ll probably just bring you some coco and sit with you while it passes.

he cant help, not really, he doesnt have the capacity. but at least if youre in a pit of misery you dont have to be alone.

Blacklight riddler

i guess you could call him a little more proactive in his approach to your ailments. He knew you were suffering when you two got together so right from the get go he had things in place to try and make you a little more comfortable.

He’s got trauma but he’s done his stint in therapy. he takes his meds and his problems are mostly managed. Because of this he knows what you're going through, what you will have to go through to get to the other side of this. he wont dare compare traumas or recovery, that's not fair on anyone, but at the very least he’s going to empathise with what happened to you.

now, Edward is not an angry man. Perhaps when he was younger, less in control of himself sure, he was prone to being easily angered. but if there’s one thing in life thats still going to make him see red its when people minimise male childhood abuse survivors. do they not realise that LITERALLY kills people??? how many men have suffered and even died because they were shamed or discouraged from seeking help?! he doesnt like murder, he doesnt want to upset or traumatise you further but like....just say the word and he’ll seal a bitch in an oubliette.

his apartment his a sort of safe zone. like theres no noise, no smells comfort foods and easy access to therapists and doctors. the building itself is basically a fortress with a deadbolt door that would make batman jealous. good for someone trying to avoid triggers , feel safe and as a bunker for the zombie apocalypse.

listen, he gets recovery isnt linear. if you wana lie spend a day in a depression pit he’ll leave you be, maybe come lie besides you if you want him to so you dont have to suffer alone. but please dont mistake this for him trying to push you too hard. he’s just doing what he wishes someone would do for him, he had to climb out of the hole with no one to give him a hand and he wouldn't wish that on anyone.

but that being said he’s not going to just let you waste away. he will cook for you if you cant, brush your hair and your teeth if you don't have the energy. he’ll even give you a bath if you haven't showered in a while. of course, he wont force this on you, he knows to respect your boundaries. but he wants you to know the option is there, he’ll do anything for you to make you feel even a little better. you’re in this together

i hope this sparks the joy, love. its rough all over and i wish i could give you a proper hug. maybe when this is all over we will. i know things are tough right now but it will get better. dont forget how far youve come, even only in the time we’ve been friends. im always proud of you 💙

got something you wana talk about? send me an ask or a dm! im aways game to talk about our favorite curious menace 💚💜

#asks #for my darling chris #riddler headcanons #tw trauma #tw abuse #tw mental illness #arkham riddler #arkham knight riddler #riddler #edward nygma #edward nigma #blacklight riddler #blacklight au #sorry for being gushy on main #my stuff #my writing #my headcanons #headcanons

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dear-yandere · 4 years ago

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May i ask your opinion relating to the tumblr writing community dying? Well you see when you are an anon sending request to a writing blog, what is the area of too detail and too vague and the area between them? This is something that is kinda troubling me. I found out that writer dont like thing that is too vague or too detail. And when they decide to delete it and not write it, it PROBABLY make us think that our req not appropriate, which then discourage us to ask another req and not involve with the blog only reading.

I dont know about vague, but i know my own short-coming as an anon who probably send ask that is too detail (which i why i dont ask or request, just read). I have a particular taste or genre (i divide the nsfw from sfw and know which is appropriate) I send the ask so that the blog have more genre or they can write a fic/hcs/sc that is based on my idea so that other people can enjoy. (I found another anon whose request that they think is too detailed, so they kinda say to write it yourself) If you ask why dont you write it yourself, what if the asker is not good at writing, not good at the characterization, or doesnt know how to have a good writing format. And thinking the writing blog is an outlet to share their idea that they can not write to the fandom .

Please think about how an anon or an asker feel if they actually give a critic or an opinion that is not a praise (not a harrasment) to a blog that have a lot of followers and another writer friends. I would not want to be ganged on.

And also sending request to multiple writing blog (which i didn't do since i found that writers dont like that) this is from my pov as a requester or non-writer that run a blog, but what if they send it because they thought that their req is erased so they send another one to another blog to write, but the other blog thought that is a requester who sends to multiple blog because they are friend with the first blog?

I'm sorry this is so long. I just thought giving a comment to that post since i like to read fic in tumblr. Maybe i can give an insight or another side to look at. If there is something that i am wrong at, please be gentle with me and no cussing. I prefer to have a civiled discussion. Sorry if i offend you or something or that i sound annoying. This is just an opinion.

ahhh there’s a lot to address here, so i’ll answer it one by one.

i’ve heard mixed opinions on this from different writers. some writers prefer detailed requests so they can understand exactly what the anon wants; other writers prefer vague requests so that they have creative freedom to write whatever they want. writers aren’t obligated to fill requests, so they could delete the request for reasons besides it being vague or too detailed; if you’re unsure if your favorite writer prefers vague/detailed requests, don’t hesitate to ask!

some blogs avoid specific genres, so if you send an ask so that they have more of that genre, your request is probably less likely to be filled. for example, i’m a yandere blog, so i tend to stray away from fluff or comfort ideas; i do sfw, but i tend to prefer more nsfw ideas, whether it’s a lewd idea or otherwise (gore, taboo topic, etc). in other words, i’m less likely to fulfill a non-yandere or overly sfw idea (ex. “character cuddling reader”) than i am to fulfill a darker or more nsfw idea. it’s up to writer preference.

for the writer who told the anon to write it themselves, i kinda get it? most writers prefer to have creative freedom, so if an anon sends the story they want in such detail, it’s basically already written. i totally get why someone might be unable to write it themselves, but if a request is that long and detailed, it’s probably better to ask the writer if they accept detailed requests first. or, check if they accept commissions, especially since writing a specific idea can be really mentally taxing and difficult!

i’m sorry if this has happened to anyone... i personally haven’t seen it, nor do i know anyone who would gang up on someone for offering feedback. however, not every blog wants opinions / critiques on their work. a great deal of blogs do, but that doesn’t mean every writer does. again, always ask first, or check their rules.

in general, writers don’t like when anons send the exact same request to multiple writers, especially if the anon didn’t even change the wording. it’s very rude, and it makes writers feel like they’re machines / expendable. my suggestion is to personalize the ask to the blog you’re sending it to, or at least change the wording and mention that you sent the same idea to other blogs and you’re curious what [this writer] thinks too.

i hope this clears some things up. this ask was in response to my interactions post, so i want to reiterate that none of these should deter you from interacting with a writer, even if you only leave a “i like this!” or some emojis! i totally get that interacting with writers, especially bigger writers, can be scary, but the thing is, there won’t be any more writers to interact with if they feel they aren’t being seen.

anon 2. Hello, saw you post about writing community is dying. It's not, tumblr has the worst ask box and it does show ask box on the app :( Please if you have Twitter, or Istagram or others. Please put a link to them. T.T I beg of you T.T

what does my social media have to do with the writing community dying? also, how is it not dying? i asked around, and the ask box seems to work, so maybe it’s just your app? gosh this ask is so confusing... i still can’t wrap my head around why you’d want my social media. i can’t really upload my fics to them...especially instagram and twitter?? anon i’m so lost...😢

#questions #not a fic #vanya rambles

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lovingnekoma · 4 years ago

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hello artemis! i'd like vietnamese coffee please!

i'm bi and i give off granny vibes because i take most things seriously, which bores people. i'm into life-long learning and literature. i love to multi-task by doing crafts while listening to podcasts, but i find it hard to follow through! maybe i have too much unruly creative energy and a need to be of service in a way? i can be very critical and cynical though, which feeds into my impostor syndrome. i need someone who'll stop me from running away but will also make me feel safe enough to be gentle.

hope this is ok! thanks!

i match you with... kita !

headcanons 4 u

literally if you want someone to ground you while being gentle its kita. its kita. mans knows how to take care of you, he knows how to keep you in line. his words are gentle, but firm, and he always follows through with actions. he tells you things truthfully and a little bluntly, and you trust that whatever you say or ask, he will give you an honest, careful answer. he always knows when you’re about to run and will guide you, careful, into his arms. he’s soothing and comforting. he acknowledges and intakes information without judgement, and answers thoughtfully, always. he’s got your back, you just gotta put a little faith in him

far be it that kita will ever discourage a helping hand as long as you’re willing to learn and not ill. even if you have other major responsibilities and need a distraction, he’ll let you help him for a bit doing whatever and then send you off with words of encouragement. he works on a rice farm for gods sake slkfjsl he’s always out tending to the fields or looking at money to pay the farmhands or cleaning or cooking. he can do things himself but he usually appreciates the sentiment of you offering to do things for him and will let you. you also recognize that he needs the creativity and love and in-depth conversation you bring into his life because he will, and does, tell you how much he appreciates you and he also shows you <3

kita is also a pretty serious person and you guys have really sick conversations about shit you’ve learned. you got him into reading more and he already looks at the news to keep up with the world. you have lots of Thoughts about the world and the lessons you’ve learned and kita is a really good listener. he lets you get your spiel out before he gives curated and thorough responses as well as his own opinions. you guys have different life experiences and different minds and it’s really cool to see how they agree or disagree on multiple levels. you lowkey strike me as a journaling person so idk maybe you have a book of life lessons and mindfulness (lmao i do idk) and kita himself has so many sayings and practices and perceptions about himself and the world. idk i jus think you guys would have the dopest convos at any hour

lmao kita does not multitask. he has a packed schedule but he does things one at the time, methodically, but he lets you do what you wanna. will bring you smth to drink as you work. is super interested in your creative process and the things you create and how you express yourself, especially because kita himself struggles a little more in the realm of creative self expression. he journals, sometimes, therapeutically. you get him on painting sunsets as you dabble in your multiple creative spheres. he likes joining you in your passions, even if you’re doing two different things. he jus tunes out your podcasts though lmao he doesnt work to music or podcasts and if you put anything on, he tunes it out always

i feel like kita is not inherently a tactile person but with you he becomes such? a guiding hand on your lower back, a comforting squeeze on the back of your neck, him pulling you close to press your face to his shoulder or stomach. he’s just the solid wall you can burrow into. he’s unyielding and strong and unwavering in showing through these touches, driving to you (idk i imagine like him mostly being outside of the city and you being in the city pre-pandemic where you guys did a lot of driving and calls.), picking up your calls always, and being there, again and again. he shows up. he pulls through. in both actions and words. he creates a safe space for you to be vulnerable or angry or upset or loving. he always knows just the right thing to say and he’s really good at giving you what you need. idk i also imagine like cute farmers market outings and lots of sunset/sunrise watching and morning in the kitchen where the light is hazy and time feels paused, like the world stopped just for you two

#kita was my first thought #almost fell off my bed bc his name CAME to me #the vibes aligned for this #lowkey almost second guessed myself and went w suzumeda my queen #saeko and u would’ve burned down the world and probably blown each other up #anyway #hope u like this #.☕️ first coffeehouse

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thetrashywritingwitch · 5 years ago

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Is it okay if i ask you a strange question? I just wanted to know how popular your blog is- not to be invasive, but I really love your stuff and always wanna write out nicely plotted fics with multiple chapters- but i feel like content that has multiple chapters and little NSFW doesnt get that much attention no matter the quality. Not that it will deter me from writing, but you're my absolute favorite writer on here and i got curious.

that’s fine! i dont mind sharing and being transparent

I have 4.3K followers on here ♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️ and you’re all amazing, thank you! I’m not not all of them are active and people left when tumblr did the bans last year but that’s alright :)

obviously, i don’t get you know, thousands of notes or that much interaction on my stuff compared to followers but no one does. I think i have maybe on scenario (the Bakugou punching a hole in the wall) that is nearing like 2k notes? and that’s about the highest anything i’ve written has gotten. WHICH IS A LOT I WAS LIKE???

THIS SPECIFIC THING IS WHAT PEOPLE LIKE I’M GLAD LAKDJAasfdaf

and I think it partly comes down to just the general attention-span of most people. You can read something that’s not super long quickly because we all have busy lives, but investing in something that’s like...novel-length like my fics? that’s a time investment that not everyone can commit to. And people leave fandoms, they find new blogs/content they engage with, etc.

do i wish that i got more active engagement and notes on my stuff? yeah, sure! I love talking to y’all and getting asks and answering stuff about my fics. I know that my general engagement dropped off once i stopped doing daily Asks/requests but I just didn’t have the time for it like i used to. I’m probably gonna open some up in January but i’m booked for the rest of the year and i’m just focusing on BSJFM, Need and Want, and some sequels to other things ive written

and yes, folks be horny af on main and i’m not gonna shame that pfft. and tbh i used to read a lot of that content myself! but even just over the past year i’ve changed and the type of content i read and engage with has changed and contextless NSFW stuff isn’t what i’m as interested in. I want to explore relationships, realistic interactions, and characters that don’t get nearly as much appreciation even in published novels and popular stuff. Like how there are sooooo many female protagonists who become strong due to sexual trauma. like, i’m tired of reading about people being sad and dealing with garbage! I want...happy lol please give me happy and healthy, let them be strong int heir own right while also having realistic experiences!

and of course if you wanna write that go ahead - but i can also write what i wanna write, too.

but i derailed...sorta. idk. thank you for sending this and asking about me and my blog. Soemtimes it can get discouraging with my current fic doesn’t even reach 100 notes on new chapters when other blogs get you know thousands of notes on their stuff. And that’s great for them! i want people to succeed and i want their creativity to be rewarded. but i’m also a selfish trash jerk and need dat validation tho 😍😍😍 it feels good get that hot serotonin surge when people enjoy what i write and engage with it and yell at me about it. or even...i wish i knew how i could improve? like, what am i doing wrong lol if anything! probably nothing. no one is obligated to enjoy my content but i can also be honest about wishing for more engagement, too

and you should definitely write whatever you wanna write!! even if you don’t get that many notes because ultimately it’s about putting out stuff because YOU WANNA WRITE THAT THING! which is ultimately what keeps me going 😚😚

i hope i didn’t derail too much and this helps you or answers a question...that you didn’t really have ;lakjsd;lfajk

thank you all for following me and enjoying my writing!

#Anonymous

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crowsent · 5 years ago

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Can you explain the color switch technique for theater more clearly? I'm going to audition for our high school play and I want a reliable way to act without having to relive my worst memories.

dunno when exactly you sent this anon, but i hope i havent responded too late.

SO. the colour switch technique. dunno if its an official name or whatever BUT its essentially used in theatre or really in any other scenario where you have to lie or assume an emotion that you’re not currently feeling. essentially, you have to play a role. but since you said youre auditioning for a play, we focusin on the theatre aspect of it.

the most common thing i see or hear people do when they need to play an emotion that they just aren’t feeling at that moment, is to think of a personal event in their lives that elicits that specific emotion. it WILL work, or at the very least, elicit a strong emotion that pushes you to make your scene more believable and more alive. now thats great if the memory or event is a happy one. thinking of the first time you ever held your baby sibling, or that time you had your first kiss, or that day your parents surprised you with a new car. genuine happiness, or the memory of genuine happiness can work wonders to make a scene look and feel organic.

but if the emotion is negative, its going to absolutely DECIMATE your mental health.

no matter how much you think that ‘its just for a scene’ or that it wont actually affect you when youre off the stage, using the “relive memory to recreate emotion” method can and will fuck your mental health sideways with a chainsaw. its BAD for you to constantly think of painful or sad memories. there’s rehearsals, the actual performance, and worse, memories of the play itself. associating the memory of a tragic accident or a bad fight to a scene of a play youre participating in IS NOT GOOD FOR YOU.

i did theatre back in highschool. my depression at that stage was also. uh. particularly bad. so the whole “relive traumatic memories to experience pain so you can act better” is TERRIBLE advise. dont listen to anyone who tells you to do it. it WILL negatively impact your mental health AND your memories of the play, and may even discourage you from participating in future plays yourself.

but you still need to find a way to channel those emotions.

in comes colour switch theory. or technique. whatever its called. my theatre directors were GODDESSES. they recommended this technique to EVERYONE and it WORKS.

the trick is to associate a particular colour with a particular emotion, or even facial expression. when you need to keep a stoic face, you picture the colour in your mind and chant it in your head over and over to not break character. when you need to be sad, just repeat the colour you chose for sadness over and over to get yourself in the mindset WITHOUT hurting your mental health. for me, some of the colours i chose were:

blue- sadness/loneliness

red- anger

black- nothingness

grey- fear

there are more, but lets focus on these four. blue is my favourite colour. but thinking of the colour blue it doesnt automatically make me sad, so i can still enjoy it when im off stage. to channel the emotion of sadness or loneliness that i tied with the colour blue, i think of sadness from inside out and her blue motif. i think of the blue colour commonly depicted for tears. i think of cold and i think of a single person all alone, curled up in a blue room, crying.

just talking about this made my body curl up when i was writing that paragraph. i am shaking, and i feel sad, but when i stopped thinking about that imagery, it stopped. because its not a painful or traumatic memory for me, i can just yeet the blue emotion imagery away from me when i dont want it. you cant do that with personal memories and thats what makes the colour switching strategy so good. you can act better but you dont have to hurt yourself to do it.

think of it as constructing a bubble in your head, or a room you go to when you need to feel something. for anger, i think of a red room. i think of that red emoji with the brows scrunched up and the teeth gnashed together. i think of being so angry you lose words. i think of being red-faced because you just cant control it. conveniently, anger from inside out is also red, so i can think of him too. i think of fire in my veins, hot and ready to explode with nowhere to go but loud, violent screaming. and as im writing this, i can picture myself on a stage just shouting at whoeever has done my character wrong.

same goes for black and grey. black is just when i need to keep a straight face. when i need to be stoic or unimpressed. and its just a black room. nothingness. i sometimes picture that black room in real life when i have to not laugh at something funny if the timing is inappropriate, or when i have to keep a strong facade when i want to cry. i picture that room of nothingness and my mind goes blank. and i can keep a stoic face. the grey room is fog and shadows just in the corner of my eye. its something closing in that i cant see because of all the grey swirling around me. i dont know if im alone. i dont know if i am safe because i can only see a foggy room.

all in all, mentally travelling to a room in your mind created for the express purpose of eliciting a specific emotion is better than just retraumatising yourself. and its really simple to create these rooms. you dont even have to use the same colours i did.

maybe you have more trouble with expressing lovey dovery emotions. you can make red your love room. think of red flowers on valentines day, the red heart decals you see on store windows, the red box of chocolate youd give to a lover. red is passion, red is life, and you can associate things like that with your red room if you want. its like a venn diagram. things you associate with red on the left, things you associate with the emotion on the right, and the things they have in common can be used to construct the imagery of the emotion colour switch room.

then you can just chant red red red in your mind and you think of the blush on the fair maidens cheek as her knight comes to rescue her. you can think of a scarlet dress dazzling everyone in the room, but the wearer only has eyes for one man. you can think of lipstick stain against a collar.

you can associate any emotion with any colour. my process was:

pick a colour

pick an emotion/facial expression

picture a small room in your mind

fill that room with things or imagery that match your emotion or expression

be as specific or as generic as you want

you can have a green room dedicated to irritation or envy or just the loose feeling that youre not completely happy. the reasoning can be just bc you thought of the phrase “green with envy” and thought itd be neat. green can be a mother experiencing the joy of holding her child for the first time because green=nature=nurturing=mother.

establish a connection with that colour. fill out your room and create the keyword to get in. im very unoriginal so my keyword was just chanting the colour name over and over in my head. if i say blue enough times i get sad, even if i dont picture the room bc my mind has formed a link to that state of being. and i can break away without much trouble bc the connection is just on the surface.

colour switch is hair chalk. reliving memories is hair dye. at the end of the day, both of them colour hair. but you can wipe off the hair chalk w relative ease but a thorough hair dye that produces vibrant colours cant easily be removed, even when you want to switch to a different colour, or maybe even lose the dye completely.

i would recommend picking an emotion or expression that youre not good at portraying, but dont struggle with as much for your first room. i am not good at expressing sadness, but im worst at expressing upset or anger. so when i first started my colour switch mindset room, i started with sadness. it helps me express an emotion that im not particularly good at expressing, while still being relatively easy for me to get the hang of. maybe try for the second or third worst emotion you express, build a room to channel that emotion, and establish your connection.

make it a well-tread path, essentially. first few times are gon be difficult, but the more you do it, the easier it gets. all i need now to fake-cry is picturing the blue room, saying blue a bunch of times, and making a face. then i cry. completely fake and not damaging to my health.

i hope this makes sense for you. if it doesnt, feel free to send in an ask with more detailed questions abt the parts youre confused about or anything else. same goes for anyone who happens to read this that has an interest in theatre. id rather answer a dozen asks of the same question than have any of yall do something so harmful to your mental health. if anything was at all confusing, please feel free to tell me and ill gladly clarify some more. stay safe and take care of yourselves. and to the anon who asked, i hope your play goes well

#crowsas answers #theatre

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yeoldontknow · 5 years ago

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I finally made my own tumblr and i feel pretty happy bcuz im finally letting others see my writing but i wanted to know what you did for your stories to like, “get out there?” Btw i LOVE your stories im a new fan of EXO and ur stories r amazing keep it up!!

hi there. welcome to tumblr! thats so exciting! i hope youre enjoying your time here! im going to preface everything i say by advising a few things.

firstly that i dont consider myself an ‘out there’ blog. im exceptionally proud of the amount of followers i have, even though the number itself is different depending on perspective. to some, this number is remarkably small. to others, this number is enormous. and the amount of readership that occurs on my fics really doesnt match up the to the numbers the way you think it would. so when you say ‘out there’ just keep in mind this is really...dependent on so many factors and depends on your own personal definition of what that means.

second, the things i list that were part of my experience may not work for you or match up to your experience. theres really no algorithm or formula anyone can give. so again, you can take all of this with a grain of salt.

- make use of tags and tag appropriately. when youre starting from 0 (as everyone on this website does) the first and primary way you get any of your writing out to the public (beyond...posting it lmao) is tagging. only the first five tags show up in searches when youre tagging on tumblr, so keep that in mind when you consider how many networks (ill discuss those later) you want to join. keep your tags relevant to what youve written, things like ‘member smut’ or ‘member fluff’ usually draws in a crowd. when i first started hero, i was tagging with ‘chanyeol x reader’ and ‘chanyeol scenario’ and those pulled in a bunch of readers too (that was 2 years ago tho, so idk how much a scenario tag pulls in anymore)

- post in multiple places. i have an AO3 and a tumblr. most writers cross post to ao3 and tumblr, but others also have an asian fan fics account or a wattpad account (this is usually to prevent people plagiarizing on there). but most writers i know (tbh i think all) post in at least two separate places.

- join a network. networks are so great for getting your work out there when you dont have a lot of followers or are new and dont have a lot of readership. theres so many out there you can join - some are specific to band and others are multi-fandom and only require that you be writing for kpop. my recommendation is to join two or three, because these networks will always require you use their tag in the first five. this is because the only way they will find your work to reblog it is by searching it, so tagging for two main tags and two networks is a surefire way to get your writing to the right people.

- talk to other writers/blogs. send asks, play ask games with them, tag them in things you know they like (example, even if i dont follow you but you tag me in something related to chanyeol i will always respond). leave feedback on their work. reblog their work and tag it well - either with your keysmash reaction, your thoughts, or your feelings. whatever you give into the community will come back to you.

***HOWEVER, i will say that dont be discouraged if writers dont reply right away. sometimes tumblr eats asks, deletes messages, or doesnt let them show up until the person can get to a computer. furthermore, most writers on here have regular jobs or families, so the time theyre on tumblr is very limited. and even more than that, theres a big question of age. for me personally, if i can tell a person is quite young or under the age of 18, i am less likely to fully go back and forth in banter with them because i am considerably older than that and thats inappropriate. im just pointing this out because i dont want you sending messages and getting discouraged if someone doesnt reply. theres a lot of reasons someone might not reply, and it may have nothing to do with you or be relate to something within your control.

- if youre a new writer, join a beta network. theres networks out there where people willingly volunteer to beta writing, and you can also apply to be a beta. this helps improve your writing, which will help draw more readers, and will also create a community/friendship around you and your beta team.

- make a masterlist, even if you only have 1 written item. masterlists help people new to your blog see what you have written, find it, and read it OR see what you want to write. example: if youre writing for exo and you have a list for the entire band, ill assume that at some point youll write for chanyeol even if you only have a link for jongdae. make a masterlist and link it in your bio for easy access.

ok so thats...bare minimum how you get your writing out and circulating and possibly generating a community for you to engage with. but its really important for me to say the following:

if you are walking into this with an expectation that you will soon receive recognition or feedback or a large amount of notes, please please restructure this. in my years on this site, i have seen so many writers come and go because they start writing solely for the notes or the feedback. thats not a sustainable goal and it will suck the pleasure out of writing really really quickly. its so easy to get discouraged if you dont think youre achieving some arbitrary number that tumblr itself messes with just by changing rules or guidelines or the way posts show up on a dash.

instead, challenge yourself to write things that interest you or to write different things within your stories. things like ‘i want to write a fantasy’ ‘i want to write a 5 part mini series’ ‘i want to write an angsty drabble.’ when you approach writing from this perspective, it keeps you consistent and motivated with your goals. and it also, believe it or not, make your writing come from a genuine place of love rather than a place of wanting interaction. readers can tell when someone genuinely loves what they write and when someone is just checking boxes they think will bring in feedback.

also - please know that getting your writing out there is very much a ‘rome wasnt built in a day’ kind of vibe. ive been on this website for 2 years and there have been months where my notes and follower count is barely moving, and others where i feel like i get 200 followers in a week or hundreds of notes on something id posted a year ago. you cannot predict how long it will take for people to see your work, the only thing you can predict is that it will take time. honestly, again ive been here for two years and im still a pretty small blog. theres no magic formula to this.

i hope all this helps!

#writing advice #zaralax

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pintsartafterdark · 7 years ago

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Ok, I get that you're an anti and everything but.. why do you have to outwardly discourage Shaladins from liking and sharing your stuff? You say they're nasty but like.. love is love right? As long as it's legal and everyone is comfortable, what's the problem? It's kinda sad cuz I absolutely love your art but I also really love Shklance and Sheilatte and Sheith and Latte.. like.. should I just not like your stuff anymore..?

im gonna go through multiple point in this ask, if thats okay.1. im not trying to discourage anything. i just dont want sha/ad/n associated with my work, the work i spend time and effort on. thats my preference and just like anything else people should respect that2. in all other cases i would believe love is love- im bi, i feel like lgbt+ people have the right to happiness regardless HOWEVER: somethign with an age gap like that is ridiculous to me. i understand a lot of people have parents with large age gaps and that helps them be ok with this. or maybe they look towards “oh sh/ro and ke/th are both legal!” (bc if you ship a 25 yr old w a child, someone under 18, thats a different story, still wrong) but like.. the point is not whos legal. the point is theres a 7 yr age gap. the point is sh/ro is a TEACHER, ke/th is a STUDENT. ke/th has said to sh/ro “youre like a brother to me” and even the official vld team released a video saying shiro was basically everyones dad. plus, theres a power imbalance in not comfortable with, and in the end, thats what it is. age gaps make me uncomfortable. they did before vld and they will after.(THIS IS NOT TO SAY AGE GAPS LATER IN LIFE ARENT OK. If a 45 yr old and a 55 yr old wanna date, go ahead. im still uncomfortable with it, but less because theyve both been adults for a while and theyve gained knowlege that kids and young adultsdont have)3. as for you liking that stuff: go ahead! im not gonna tell you what to ship; im gonna state MY opinions on MY account and ask you give me the respect i try to give yall. when i see a post thats sha/ad/n, i block the person. if i see a thing that says “anti’s dont interact” i wont. and you wont ever see me going and anonymously sending someone hate or death threats bc i dont agree with them. i will mind my own business.4. i would prefer if you didn’t reblog or like my work, at least my art. my textposts are chill ig because it doesnt take my ’talent’ and spread it places i dont want it, imo. im a bit more upset about the reblogging though (take that as you want..)Anyways, thanks for asking. i might make a post one day that gets more in depth on why i dont like sha/ad/n ships so much, because im kinda tired of explaining lol. hope i answered your question

TL;DR : i dont go looking for discourse, i just dont want sha/ad/ns touching my art, block me if you want :/

#asks #anonymous #long post #discourse #sfw

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zebra-warrior · 4 years ago

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With having a disease in which such little is known about it I can definetly say, I've got a lot of hopes for the future, especially future generations diagnoses with EDS. You guys know the things I got through with this rather you believe the medical abuse and neglect is real or not others with EDS know that if anything I'm downplaying the extent of it so my hopes for the future is that this condition is incorporated into medical school training requiring a very minimum of one week spent on the topic of EDS and much more in anatomy on the functions of connective tissue as well as connective tissue diseases as a whole being discussed more in school. Another more immediate hope is that schools totally throw out the zebra and horse teaching mindset and quit educating students to only focus on common diseases. Even what little schooling I had it was as if they were telling us rare diseases don't exist at all. They totally discourage us from even thinking about rare diseases. I remeber being assigned to study and write a report on one medical conditon then speak about it in front of the class. The teacher said we could pick any one we wanted. Everyone in the class chose more common conditions like strep throat, upper respiratory infections, breast cancer, and a ddw other more common cancers, heart attack, pneumonia, the flu, diabetes, high blood pressue etc. I went home and searched the web for rare diseases, this was even before I knew I had a rare disease myself. I read up on several and came across one that seemed particularly interesting. Trusomy 13. I wanted to choose someting rare because I feel like the common ones have enough recognition, enough financial backing for research and frankly we're too easy. I wanted a challenge, I wanted to speed the word about an underdog in much news of awareness and to spark interest amongst my peers who may spread the word. Trusomy 13 is one that often takes the life's of an individual on infancy and causes a lot of complications so this is what I chose. The day the teacher went around the room asking all of us what we chose she got to me and I told her. She pauses and said don't you want to try something more common like everyone else? I said no, I like the challange. She said well I would really encourage you to pic something else like how about heart disease? Theres a lot of good information put there on that. I said no that's okay, I like my topic and I'll be able to find enough information on it. She then asked me to speak to her after class. After class she said look, I need you to pick a different topic. I asked why. She said because it's too hard. I told her to trust me I can do it. She then said that conditon is so rare I've never even heard of it in my entire career. I don't know what it is or anything about it and theres no way for me to be able to grade your report on a condition I don't know anything about. That's whan I said well you said we could pick anything at wanted. I picked something I find extremely interesting and that's what I want to do. Besides if you don't know anyting about it you can learn someting new. After a big more of a debate, reminding her several times that she said we can pick anything and that even if it's not common it exists she finally I think, realized she wasn't going to change my mind and caves so that was my report and I aced it. Just because someting is rare doesnt make it unworthy of being taught in school and by telling medical students not to even consider a rare disease in a patient is just setting the patient up for misstreatment by medical personel. One in 10 Americans live with a rare disease so allthough each disease may be rare, actual having one of those many diseases isn't all that rare itself so I hope this mindset is no longer instilled into the minds of students and it's removed from the corricilam.

In addition to changing teaching to no longer encourage students to only look for what's common when diagnosing a patient I believe they also need to crack down on and better educate on how to properly diagnose conversion disorder or what ever word they happen to use for it at the time and really any psychosomatic disorder as a whole. They need to teach then not to use it as a crutch for their lack of knowledge and address their egos making sure they are aware that not everyting was addressed in medical school so they in fact don't know everyting and shouldn't behave in a maker in which they think they do and in these cases where the patient goes years and years with going to doctor after doctor for help to listen to them. I also believe they should ban anyone without a psychology degree from being able to diagnose conversion disorder. If they would like to send the patient for a psych consult or they would like to simply state in the referral "suspected conversion disorder" or please assess patient for a psychosomatic disorder fine but in no way should diagnose it themselves, or write long notes about the patient to try to persuade the diagnosis. If someone were going to trial in court for a robbery you wouldn't allow the plaintiff to talk to the judge and jourey before the hearing allowing them to speak without the defendant present in order to persuade them to rule in their favor before the hearing. They want a court hearing to be unbiased a psychiatrist or psychologist should be able to unbiastly assess a patient and make the decission on their own.

Medical personel should be very throughly taught the dangers of an incorrect diagnosis, espexially a psychological misdiagnosis and the tendencies for this misdiagnosis to follow them around throughout their lifetine even if it was proven a misdiagnosis just because it was a diagnosis written in stone at one point in their life. They need to know how this can totally ruin the care a patient. If they do this and it's a wrong diagnosis they should be required to have all records be amended by law if something like this happens and is later proven to be a false diagnosis. This is why this kind of diagnosis is only safe in the hands of someone who has spent a large portion of their schooling learning it from inside out like a psychologist or psychiatrist. This is my hope for the future. No one should ever have to go through what I went through and every other EDS patient I have ever known has gone through and likely will go through the rest of their life because misdiagnosis it not medical personel use this label as a crutch. A crutch they permenantly brand is with. Conversion Disorder and "I don't know" are not interchangeable and and should not be used this way. If a doctor does this I believe they are breaking not only the code of ethics but also their oath to do no harm and should have their license revoked. They may not be killing a person directly but by labeling them with this because they don't want to deal with it follows the patient around for life, limiting their access to care, prolonging a proper diagnosis, postponing treatment and ultimately taking years off of their life and forcing them to suffer so in the end you have shortened their life and made them live much sooner lives then they would have otherwise because you couldn't work yourself up to say you didn't know something.

Medical field asside, in the future I hope to see massive changes to insurance. Make all insurance equal like that if medicare for all so that more people are having issues with coverage and someting has to be done about it. The flaws in Medicare exposed and resolved. I would like to see the formulary overhauled and at the very least EDS added to it but what I would aultimatly like to see is a person's eligable for a medication no longer based off of the condition they have but based on the symptom they are experiencing. If they remove eligability based on condition, this will remove discrimination based on disorder resulting in people with rare diseases not being denied necessary treatment. Not long ago insurance companies were allowed to deny a person coverage if they had pre-existing conditions but when they took that away the formulary got tighter as a result. This allowed them to insure everyone so they had a physical card stating they had insurance while still denying a large portion of the sickest access to treatment. Obama seemed to try to resolve this. Things were far from perfect but it had improved but then when trump stepped into office to change medicare he ultimately further tightened the formulary as it pertains to rare diseases patients making it so that its nearly impossible to dispute denials. We used to be able to dispute them, a doctor would send in some medical documents showing the effectiveness of a medication, treatment or surgery or explain why we another medication, treatment or doctor would not be appropriate and it would be approved but now it's nearly impossible to have the decission changed when filing a dispute. Now what the formulary says goes no matter what if you're rate and don't have the FDA approval for that medication being used for that purpose causing rare disease patients to be out of luck, forced to be treated with something not likely to work, someting that can cause more harm to the body in the long run, someting that can improve one condition but worsen another or simply not recieve treatment at all so my hope for the future is for insurance to be changed for the better. Not just for the better if EDS patients but for the better of all rare disease patients.

Next I would like more awareness and financial backing provides to the Ehlers Danlos Society and other places needing funding for EDS research as a whole. EDS has no cure and no FDA approved treatments. I would like to see this changed. Very little is known about connective tissue. So little in face that scientists don't even know what it actually is. It wasn't even suspected until 2018 that connective tissue may even be an organ and we still don't know for sure. It was also discovered that nerve endings may actually connect to connective tissue and those tissues are capable of feeling pain from damage to them. It was thought for years EDS patients don't have pain and that that aspect was all in their head until that recent discovery which now ranks it one of the most painful diseases a person can live with. With 2018 being really the tip of the iceburg knowledge about the conditon we are hundreds of years behind on the knowledge other diseases have and hundreds of years behind on research. It's like living with Type 2 Diabetes or Breast Cancer in the 1700's. I would like more awareness, more education in schools as more financial backing to be supplied to this disease. I don't want to have this condition labeled as the most ignored (I used ignored because it won't let me use the actual word for uncared for) medical condition in modern medicine. It has held that title since 1965. It's held that title for 55 years. The most neglected conditon and nothing has been down to change this over the last 55 years. Something needs to change. I also wish that a cap would be put on some conditons for research. Sure a cure would be nice for everyting but if there's a treatment that is extremely effective why not give give a percentage of that money to an underdog conditon. One that doesn't even have as much as one medication to help it in order to help them to try to catch up, even if it's just a little bit.

My hopes for the future are that these patients have all of this. They are believed, they are not treated like a psych case or a burdon, a diagnosis isn't delayed years and years, they have access to treatment even if it doesn't have FDA approval, recognizing this condition as a cause of disability, learning more about it and possibly just one treatment. Awareness goes a long way and it starts there. No one diserves what eds patients go through now and I hope no in in the future has to and they can seek medical treatment without fear, without being sent home worse then when they came, without being left without care, without harm from medical professionals and that they are held accountable but if course this would also involve a change in society as a whole as its not just medical professionals who are only in the career for the money, to get their 12 hours in so they can go home and to take short cuts and the easy way out. There's a lot that need changed but humanity also isn't what it used to be when people took pride in their jobs and wanted to not only get things done but get them done right.

Below are some pictures that show some of this. The last three to together and I'll explain these. It'd the McGill Pain Scale, a scale doctors use to tell them the average amount of pain a person with a speciffic condition is in. It has since been updated but at the time of the study posted in the two lower pictures the bottom scale was used and it's vary similar to the update one. CRPS is rhe most painful condition on the pain scale ranking in at a 42 out if 50. In the study below 273 EDS patients participated in the study taking the same test to measure the McGill Pain Index Ranking. Of all of the participants 89% of them were already on medication a for pain at the time of the study so we're tested based on their pain levels on medication. The results calculated their pain essentially on a good day during the week and a bad day. The average moderate pain (good day pain) came on with a median score of 43 out of 50. The high pain levels or (bad day pain level) median score was 45 out of 50. This was with 89% of them being on pain medications. Could you imagine the scores of they were weaned off of those medications or hadn't been on any medications when they were tested? EDS was not added to the updated McGill Pain Index for one simple reason. That being because patients were on medication for pain so it was considered to have flawed the results.

#myEDSchallenge #myHSDchallenge

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