#but i also got a lot of mental inspiration from movies and tv shows that showed that samey sameness

[reyiosa]

be brave. let your sci-fi/fantasy cities have juxtaposing architecture. let there be 2,000-year-old monuments astride 10-year-old monoliths. let there at least be one Old City Hall.

the same thing goes for general technological advancement btw.

[lowlights]

Hi. I'm back, and I wrote this in about an hour so be nice. This is 100% inspired by @ezrasbirdie's Twinkle and the very lovely dream it gave me. So this is Birdee's fault.

*

Perfect Fit

Frankie Morales x plus size f!reader // 1.3k

Warnings: Reader is a curvy lady with big titties and a belly, f receiving oral, mutual masturbation, cum eating, lots of praise, language, a smidge of insecurity but it doesn't last long, reader borrows Frankie's shirt, a very feral Frankie who has got it BAD for reader. Use of good girl and bebita. I also maintain that Frankie is a babbler during sex. Oh also Frankie is in sweatpants, which is a gift to us all.

*

The flickering lights of the TV lit up your face, an old rom-com from the '90s that you had seen a million times playing on the screen. You laughed at every joke, even though you could recite every line if asked. Frankie heard you mutter them under your breath sometimes, which he would have found annoying if it had been anyone else. Never with you though. 

He wasn’t paying a damn bit of attention to the movie, though.

Not for the past twenty minutes at least. Not when you were wearing those leggings and his threadbare grey t-shirt which you had borrowed for the night. Frankie could barely drag his eyes away from how his shirt pulled tight on your gorgeous tits or how the hem had rolled up just enough to show your soft tummy. 

He felt like a pervert ogling you like a fucking teenager who could barely control himself, even though you had been dating for more than six months. He was allowed to ogle, but you had just had a week from hell at work and had been looking forward to a relaxing night at Frankie’s place. He could keep his hands off of you for a couple of hours so you could watch your favorite movie in peace. 

You shifted slightly on his brown leather sectional and leaned into him, tucking your legs up and under you. Frankie stiffened, and you noticed. Normally he would put his hand on your knee or his arm around your shoulder. Instead, his hands flexed as he straightened out invisible wrinkles on his sweatpants.

“You alright, babe?” You pushed a stray curl behind Frankie’s ear. You made a mental note to give him a haircut this weekend. You’d been putting it off; you liked his hair on the longer side. 

“Fine, fine. Just, uh- gonna go get a glass of water.” He stood up so quickly that you practically fell over. 

“I…okay?” you mumbled as he made a beeline for the kitchen. He was gone long enough for the movie to culminate with the big romantic kiss and the happily ever after, making his way back to the couch as you clicked off the credits. He settled back next to you but a little further away than before and stared straight ahead. 

Doubt gnawed at you. “Are you upset with me, Frankie? Is it because I made you watch this dumb movie again?” you asked softly, fiddling with one of your rings. The relationship was still new enough that you didn’t know how to read all of his emotions just yet.

His head whipped around. “What? No! Not at all, baby. I’m just- tired. You’re tired too, yeah? Should we go to bed?” His eyes darted down to your shirt, which made you realize how far it had ridden up. 

You pulled down on it out of habit, and Frankie frowned. “Are you sure?” you asked. 

Frankie shook his head. “C’mere,” he instructed as he helped you over to straddle his hips. You draped your arms around his broad shoulders, gasping slightly as he rolled his erection against you. “You’ve been driving me fucking crazy, baby. Do you know that? Feel what you do to me?” 

“But I haven’t been doing anything?” You were genuinely confused. 

Frankie nuzzled his nose against your chest, breathing heavily. “You look so good in my shirt. Damn, it fits you just fucking right.” 

You cupped his face and pulled him up for a kiss, his tongue immediately begging for entrance. Frankie kissed you like it was his last chance, like you were the last gasp of air he would ever take. “This shirt barely fits,” you admitted when you both broke to catch your breath. 

“It’s perfect,” he said adamantly. “Don’t ever wear anything else.” 

You giggled and kissed him again before he lifted you off and leaned you back so you could stretch out on the chaise portion of the couch. He had fucked you more than once here in the months since he had bought it. A christening, he had called it, the night it had been delivered. 

Without a word, Frankie helped you shimmy out of your leggings and underwear, stopping to stare at you as he tossed them over his shoulder. You smiled, and felt powerful. No man ever looked at you the way Frankie had looked at you since the first night you met. He was enraptured, enthralled. And he looked like he wanted to feast on you. You bent one knee up and let it fall against the couch. His cock noticeably jumped, pressing against his sweats. 

“Oh fuck. Look at my girl, she looks so pretty.” Frankie settled on his belly and pulled your leg up over his shoulder. He left a trail of kisses up your inner thigh before softly kissing your cunt. He buried his nose against your curls and inhaled deeply. “Smell so fucking good for me.” 

Frankie wasted no time and licked a slow and tortuous stripe up your slit before flicking his tongue against your clit. He built a steady pace, pushing you to the edge and easing back over and over again. 

“Christ, Frankie, oh my- Frankie, Frankie, Frankie,” you babbled as you threaded your fingers through his hair, pulling him against your cunt as it clenched around nothing. He licked up everything you gave him before standing up and ripping off his clothes, his cock bobbing as he stepped out of his pants. His chin was wet with your orgasm, and his pupils looked blown out. 

“Bebita, I need you to touch yourself. Rub that gorgeous clit, please? Please, baby,” he begged, stroking and squeezing himself as you gently rubbed circles on your sensitive clit. “Such a good girl, doing just what I ask.” 

His praise made something low in your stomach clench and you arched your hips up, eyes fluttering closed.

“No, bebita, look at me, please. Lemme see those eyes. Yes, yes. Can you put a finger inside?” he practically begged, hand quickening over his leaking cock. 

“Yes, Frankie,” you shuddered as you exhaled, slipping one finger easily into your relaxed cunt. 

“Another, baby, please?” He moaned, never taking his eyes off you, as you complied and added in a second finger. He watched you move them in and out, snaking your other hand down to rub on your clit. “I’m so close, where- where can I? Quick, tell me.” 

You pulled your fingers out and spread your legs wide. “Here, Frankie, here.” The words had barely left your mouth before he was standing over you, one knee resting on the couch as he decorated your pussy with ropes of cum. You gripped his thigh and watched as he worked himself through his orgasm. He was always so pretty when he came, mouth open and dark brown eyelashes grazing against his cheeks. 

Frankie bent over to where you leaned against the cushion so he could kiss you, whispering praise between each breath and lick of his tongue. “Gonna get you cleaned up,” he said finally. 

You expected him to go get a washcloth from the bathroom - he always made sure it was nice and warm - but instead, he settled back between your thighs. “Frankie?” you squeaked as he started licking your inner thigh. 

“I said I need to clean you up, baby. Now take off that shirt and let me see those pretty tits?” He looked up at you with pleading eyes. You would do anything he asked, and in this moment he knew it. You tossed your shirt over your head and Frankie rolled your nipple between his thumb and finger as he dove back down between your thighs. 

“Good girl, always so good for me,” he hummed as he licked himself off of you. “Gonna make you come again on my tongue, then I’m gonna make you come on my cock. Gonna have you all night, bebita.” 

You threw your head back as he sucked gently on your clit. “All this because I wore your shirt?” you chuckled. 

Frankie was too busy to respond. But he made good on his promises that night. 

And always left the shirt out for you to wear whenever you wanted. 

[jaykaysthicthighs]

The Path Of A Singer | JJK

excerpt | the appearance of your old lover pops up on tv, and the horrible memories showed itself once again.

genre | heavy angst, cheating, abuse, minor fluff

rating | 18+

warnings | strong language, present & past, toxic relationship, mental & physical abuse, jk cheating, panic attack, alcohol and drug consumption, lots of crying, heartbreaking conversations, jk being vile, lots of yelling, jk manhandles the reader, mention of abusive father, mention of ptsd, reader being selfless (you might not agree with the decisions she's made, but don't hate her; she's a broken person), maybe more

wc | 4K+ (very short)

notes | it's been a hell of a long time since i wrote and posted anything....!!!

my inspiration came from watching the movie insidious: the red door lol. the reason for the mature rating is because of the strong language, the heavy conversations said, and the talks of alcohol and drugs. i want to say that i'm not romanticizing this type of relationship or the behaviors of the characters, i'm just making a story that maybe some people might have gone through. sometimes the decisions made or thought of does not make you a bad/horrible person. everyone had a reason good or bad; you just have try to be understanding. i also tried to make this as heartbreaking as possible, but for some reason i feel like it's not. hopefully it does pull some heartstrings for you guys.

You finally arrived home after an exhausting day of work. Your roommate wasn't home yet, so, luckily for you, you're able to binge eat without the concerned eyes of your friend watching you.

You walked your way to the kitchen and made yourself some sandwiches, you also grabbed some water on the way to the living room. When you made it to the couch, you plopped down heavily. You grabbed the remote and started scrolling through the channels. You came across a channel that was showing a music festival, and without thinking about who might be performing you clicked on it.

The first performer was a group called XG. As they were performing, you happily ate while vibing to their songs. At one point, you started singing as well, not caring that you still had some food in your mouth. If the neighbors were able to hear you, they would probably think someone is dying - yelling for help.

When you finished, you got up put away your dishes, and made your way to your room to change your clothes. As you were changing, you felt a bit lonely. You and your friend don't have any pets, no companion to keep any of you guys company. You exited your room with a simple sweater and shorts.

You made it back to the living room with a content expression on your face, unfortunately, it wouldn't last long. As you were about to get yourself situated on the couch, you looked at the TV screen, and the one person you never wanted to see again was singing.

You fell to your knees with a hard thud, watching the screen with horrid eyes. It's been three years since you saw him. In those three years, you tried your damned hardest to avoid anything and everything that involved him in it. The pain he caused you still resides in your little heart.

You didn't realize but you started crying; the tears rapidly falling. Your body started shaking; the little goosebumps displaying your skin. Your chest felt heavy like a huge wave crashing on you, and the water is rising up into your nose, making it hard for you to breathe. You felt like you were suffocating, and the lack of air was making your head light; dizziness taking its place.

On the outside, you were frozen, but on the inside, you were trying to claw your way out. You felt like you were scratching every surface of your body, but you weren't moving an inch. Your brain was screaming for help, but the only thing leaving your mouth was the hardness and unstableness of your breathing. Right now, you were wishing for your friend to come home right now and save you.

Three Years Ago

You were in your car driving your way to your boyfriend. Jungkook's manager called you demanding that you come and pick him up. You don't really know what happened, but from how his manager sounded, you were thinking that he got himself drunk and high again, causing thoughtless actions.

Not too long ago, Jungkook was able to get into his dream record label. After years and years of hard work, passion, and dedication he was able to pursue his dream. What you didn't realize is that with Jungkook getting to follow his dream of being a singer, he would soon lose his sense of self. In just two weeks he was starting to drink, and in another week, he started experimenting with drugs.

As time went on, so did your patience. You would try and try to stop him - to help him, but every time Jungkook would stop your advances. Pushing you away and causing you pain made Jungkook feel superior, it made him feel proud that he reached a certain height in life.

Your guy's relationship now consists of yelling and crying. Jungkook started to mentally abuse you, but even so, you would accept it. You didn't have the strength to leave him - to leave the man you love since middle school. You couldn't leave the man who would write songs about you, the man who would wake up during dawn and make you a big breakfast, the man who would call you no matter the time, the man who would always tell you how much he loves you every second of the day. You didn't have the strength to leave him.

With all your anger, you finally made it to the studio in one piece. When you entered the building, the looks on the staff's faces were concerning you. One of the staff went up to you and told you to not go inside the studio. You looked at them judgingly and pushed your way through them, but they still tried to stop you.

"What is the problem? Let me through!" you yelled. They gave you a sad look and apologized, "I'm sorry ma'am, but Jungkook is very busy, and I don't think it's a good idea for you to go inside there." Your anger was boiling, steam coming out of your ears. "Sorry for yelling at you, but I don't fucking care if he is busy. Jonny called me saying that I need to pick this asshole up, okay? If you're worried about me finding out that he is high or drunk - even both, don't. This is not new to me."

The staff in front of you looked like she was on the verge of tears. She opened her mouth to say something, but before she got the chance, a disheveled woman left the room your boyfriend was in. You watched her with wide eyes as she left the building with a smile on her face. You stomped your way to the studio door ignoring the pleas from the staff. You pushed open the door causing a loud bang, startling the man recognized as Jonny.

Jonny swiftly got up and the first thing you noticed was the bloody nose. You walked your way to him digging in your bag grabbing some tissues for his nose. Gently placing it on him, you politely demanded, "Where is he, Jonny?" The man before you faced his eyes on the floor. "Jonny, you called me here, so, don't fucking hide anything from me. Where is he?"

The man took a step back letting the blood freely fall again. He shook his head, "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have called you. I've ruined everything." You gritted your teeth and threw the bloody tissue at his face. "Where the hell is he, Jonny?" you yelled.

A second later, Jungkook swung the bathroom door open with nothing but some sweats on. Your heart dropped from his appearance. It was evident that he had fucked the girl from earlier. You guys made eye contact, and you could tell immediately that he was high out of his mind. "Get out, Jonny," you said without looking.

When you heard the door shut, that's when you crumbled. Your eyes started blurring with the tears that were coming. Your body shaking with rage. You walked up to the fucked-up man and slapped him. "Why? Why? Why the hell would you do this to me?"

Jungkook harshly grabbed your wrists and laughed. He laughed like what you had said was something funny. You can smell the horrible alcohol leaving his mouth as he laughed. "Because it's fun, babe."

The pain rippled throughout your body. You snatched your wrists away and bellowed, "You're hurting me! You're destroying me! What does she have that I don't? I thought you loved me?" Jungkook towered over you; he grinned, "I don't love you." Your whole world died. Never had Jungkook spouted those words. It tore you limb from limb, slowly but surely. And that was all it took for you to call it done.

You were fine dealing with his hurtful ways. You were fine being the punching bag. But you were not fine being cheated on. Even with Jungkook in this fucked-up state, not once had he said that he didn't love you, and not once did he ever cheat on you. You felt lower than before, and you didn't want to feel like that. You knew that the moment he started doing drugs and drinking alcohol, the man you once knew would be gone. Still, you had hoped there might be a tiny sliver of him inside, but today proved - his words proved you wrong.

Your eyes hardened and your expression became stoic. Without trying to sound broken you seethed, "We are done! You fucking hear me? I am done with your shit - with everything!" As you walked your way to the door, Jungkook rushed in front of you and pushed you to the ground.

The wind got knocked out of you; you started bawling your eyes. For the first time, you were scared of the man before you. Jungkook locked the door behind him and dragged you by your feet. You tried kicking your feet, hoping that his release would loosen, and you could run away. But before you knew it, Jungkook locked you both into the soundproof booth.

When his grip on you was gone, you scurried to the corner of the booth shielding yourself with your bag. Jungkook walked to you and kneeled to your level. "Don't hide from me, baby." He gently grabbed your bag and tossed it to the other side of the booth. You closed your eyes; you couldn't see the monster of the man you love.

You felt Jungkook tenderly cupping your jaw. You trembled beneath his fingertips; quietly whimpering. It stayed like this for a few seconds until you felt his touch disappear. With your eyes still closed, you could hear Jungkook digging for something. You heard a rustling sound of a Ziplock bag. You knew better, you knew that he was using drugs right now.

"Open your eyes, ____," Jungkook demanded.

You didn't answer, you didn't move. This pissed off the man in front of you. He slapped you, making your body jolt, making your eyes open. You brought your hand to your cheek, tears threatening to fall. "See, it wasn't that hard?"

"W-what do you want... from me?" you stammered.

Jungkook seethed, "You can't leave me. I won't let you leave me. You owe me. All that money I spent on you, all those years I wasted on you - I want that back! And the only way you can pay me back is by being my bitch. You are fucking mine, ____!"

You finally let the tears fall again. Your whole body shook like lightning shooting throughout you. Shaking your head, you wailed, "No! No! No! Please! Don't do this to me, Dad! Stop hurting me!" For the first time today, Jungkook felt his senses come back. Your words panged his heart.

Your mother was never in your life. It was always you and your father, but your father was an abusive man. He would try to find any little thing to blame you for, just for him to lay his hands on you; from hitting, kicking, even to cutting. You had met Jungkook when you were thirteen years old, he comforted, protected, and helped you. When you finally turned eighteen, that's when you moved in with him - that's when you finally felt peace.

Jungkook cupped your face into place. He frantically said, "____, it's me. Your dad's not here. It's me, Jungkook." His touch burned you; you felt like dying. You mustered all your strength and pushed him away. You gripped your shirt and yelled, "No! You're not him! You're not Jungkook! You're a monster and I don't even recognize you!"

Monster... That simple word rang in Jungkook's mind. Monster... Such a terrifying word. If he was a monster, his reason would be because of you. Unfortunately, all the drugs and alcohol in his system weren't enough to keep him sane for one minute. Jungkook launched at you. His hands wrapped around your throat, choking you, but still letting you breathe.

You started clawing your nails on his bare arms. Digging deep that blood starts making its presence. But all that Jungkook could see right now was red. He couldn't feel the pain you were giving him; he couldn't hear the agony in your voice; he couldn't see your wrecked state. Red became his friend.

"You are the reason for my horrible being. You are the reason why I'm a monster. You bitch! If you hadn't kept pushing me to pursue this fucking career, I would've still been the same. If you hadn't been so loving and caring and supportive, we wouldn't be in this predicament. I can't believe that I fell in love with a disgusting person like you. I can't fucking believe that I let you take control of my whole being!"

Right when you were on the verge of passing out, Jungkook released his hold on you; he backed himself on the other side of the booth. You were catching your breath. Your hands shakingly touched your neck, throbbing against your frail fingers. You were painfully coughing; mentally asking God to help ease your pain. Your eyes went in and out of vision; red and black dots were the only thing in sight.

Jungkook watched you with dark eyes. He watched as you were struggling to regain your previous state. He watched as you were crying from the pain, he inflicted on you. He watched the one person who was always with him, the one person who loved and cared for him no longer be the same. He killed you, painfully and slowly.

Present

"____, look at me. It's okay. It's okay." Your friend Lia gently held your face in place. She called out your name, praying that you would settle. She watched as you were frantically breathing; your eyes looking everywhere but her; your body shaking like the room was freezing.

Your panic attacks rarely happen, but when they do, Lia feels so useless. She wished that she could help ease your pain, she wished that she had the power to prevent this. But all she could do was hold you and tell you that you're okay.

Minutes go by until you are finally back. "____?" Lia cautioned, "____, look at me. Are you okay?" As you looked at Lia, you could see the worried expression painting her beautiful face. You hated yourself for making her feel like this, but you couldn't help it. This feeling will never go away; it gets buried six feet under, but once he appears they come back.

"Lia," you whispered, "I saw him again... on TV." Lia took a deep sigh; she hated the pain he caused you before and now. She wrapped you in her arms, holding you with such care. The second you were in her arms, you broke. You cried and cried, loudly speaking your pain.

Lia felt her shirt dampen, but she didn't care. Whatever you do to her, she will take it all in, as long as you feel better in the end, Lia will gladly be your tissue, your enemy, your punching bag. Lia murmured against your hair, "I'm here. I will always be here." She held you tighter; she didn't want you to fade away from her.

You took deep breaths to calm down your nerves. You pulled away from Lia and made your way to the couch. You brought your knees up and buried your face in the space between. You hissed, "I hate what he does to me. He's not even here!" This time you whispered, "And yet, he's able to bring me down to my knees... scared."

Lia met you three years ago; months after your event. You were just a newly hired TA. When Lia first saw you, you looked like a girl who was barely keeping her life together. You told her beforehand - when you started room mating with her, that you have PTSD and that your panic attacks happen from time to time. You didn't really tell her the whole story, just that you were in a very abusive relationship and that you experienced something so terrifying. She accepted you with an open mind and open arms; from then on, Lia became your rock.

Lia got up and sat right next to you. She wanted to ask you a question, but she was scared that you would hate her or push her away for asking. But this question has been in her mind for a while now. After taking a few seconds thinking to think it through, Lia wiped her sweating palms on her pants and inquired, "____, if you don't mind me asking... why didn't you call the police on him? You should've, 'cause I don't think he should be performing after everything he's done to you."

Your eyes started getting blurry; you told yourself the exact same thing, but there was a reason. With your head still buried, you softly replied, "It's easier said than done, Lia. I wished I called the police on him - I wish I could call the police on him, but I can't. Because in simple words... I love him. I hate myself for loving him. Even after everything he has done to me, and everything he has said to me, I love him. Does that make me a horrible person?"

Lia felt herself invisibly jumping out of the couch. No way does she think you're a horrible person. You're just a person who's been through something horribly traumatic. Her heart was filled with so much pain for you. Lia positioned herself so she was facing your small figure, and expressed, "____, no way in hell are you a horrible person. Far from it! I won't be able to say that I relate or know what you're going through, because I don't. But I am able to say that I'll support you and understand your feelings and decisions."

You lifted your head but still kept your eyes on your knees; you muttered, "I met him when we were thirteen years old. He was a very shy and reserved kid - hated social interactions. I remember..." you quietly giggled without realizing when you were remembering the fond memories, "I remember when he used to make small mixtapes every anniversary with letters. He wasn't always a horrible person. He used to be kind, supportive, and loving. One of my favorite things about him was his selflessness towards me. I loved that he would always think about my needs, what I wanted, what I was thinking, and how I was feeling, but in turn, he did the opposite for himself. It was a blessing and a curse."

Lia looked at you and saw the small smile showing. This look was rare for you, and every time it made its appearance, Lia would always treasure it. "He must have been a great person for you to smile like that." You furrowed your brows; you turned to Lia with confusion. "What smile?" you questioned. Lia rolled her eyes, "Well, there's no smile anymore."

You took a deep sigh and apologized, "I'm sorry for talking about him. It's just - just talking about him in this light makes me happy and warm... even if it only lasts for a few seconds." Lia noticed that you started tearing up. Your face was slightly contorted with pain; you were trying not to cry, holding it in but it didn't work. Your tears were freely falling, and Lia comforted you once again. You quietly whimpered, "During that time I called him a monster, but really, I don't want to remember him as the monster in my life because at one point he used to be my prince who saved me from one. I try to think and talk about him in this beautiful light that he used to be under - I want to remember him as that, but the pain he brought upon me is too hard to ignore." You started wailing at this point, "It continues to haunt me, and I hate it! I want to hate him, but I can't! I can't!"

Lia felt herself crying for your pain. She felt herself slowly dying by your words. It truly kills her that her most precious and beautiful friend is going through so much pain. As you both cried into each other's arms, you could hear Lia continuously apologize through her cries. You were so grateful to have such an amazing person as her.

Once you were calmed down, you pulled away from the still tearful woman and wiped her tears away. "Don't cry anymore, Lia." you sniffled, "What happened to me - what's still happening to me would never be fully cured, but I know that whatever happens next, you'll be by my side, and slowly but surely, I won't be able to be to feel the pain anymore. Okay?" Lia nodded her head with a soft smile. You're right, as long as she's with you and as long as you are with her everything will be fine. You guys are each other's glue - each other's person.

There is no doubt in your mind that this pain will pass by. You don't know how long that will take, but until the day comes, having Lia with you eases your heart from pain as much as possible.

"You mailed her my letter?"

"Yes, Jungkook."

The tired man finished his show with a bang, and even though people enjoyed his performance, Jungkook couldn't seem to feel all that happy. For the past year since he finished his rehab, nothing has felt more depressing.

The morning of that night when he woke up, Jonny had told him that you had left, and he was to go to rehab immediately. He hated you for leaving, he hated that you left him in such a messy state. Jungkook blamed everything on you. Jonny had told the ill man that if it wasn't for you, everything that he had worked so hard on would go down the drain. At first, Jungkook didn't understand why you left or what Jonny was saying, but as time went on, he knew that everything was his fault. His addictions and his abusive behavior were all his fault. The reason for your disappearance was his fault. Your pain - everything was all him.

Jungkook knows that there will be no way for him to fix the things he has done and the things he had said, but even so, he would try his damn hardest to fix it. When he finished rehab, Jungkook made it a mission to send you a letter every week, telling you about his days throughout the week, how much he loves and cares for you, telling you how much he is so regretful. Deep down he knows that he is being selfish, he knows that he should let you go - let you move on, but the helpless man is stuck in the past. The past is what keeps him alive. The past is his only source of reason. Jungkook doesn't want to let go of that one thing he has left of you.

Jonny felt so much pity for the man, he didn't have the heart to tell him that he didn't know your address. He would accept the letters, promising that he would mail them, but when night rolls around your letters would be burned. Jonny wanted to quit being Jungkook's manager, but you begged and begged for him to stay with the broken singer. You wanted Jungkook to at least have one person for him to lean on when things get hard. Jonny admires your strength - how strong of a woman you are, so, he agreed.

"You should just stop already, Jungkook. She's never gonna mail you back. I know your reason, but you lost her, and you can never fix that." Jonny was getting tired; tired of seeing the broken singer trying with no prevail.

Jungkook walked up to his manager and lowly whispered, "You think I don't know that, Jonny? Ever since I learned that everything is my fault... I knew that she would never come back to me. Yet I still hope - even if that hope is microscopic or nonexistent, I hope that I will be able to see or be with her again."

The fatigued man took a few steps back and lowered his heavy head down. His eyes searched the floor trying to keep his tears at bay, but it didn't work. The salty tears of this poor singer escaped and landed harshly on the wooden floor. Sniffling, the fatigued man uttered, "You think I don't know that you burn my letters?" Jungkook lifted his head up and saw the ashamed manager looking back at him.

He continued, "You're not as discreet as you think you are, Jonny. I went to your hotel room to ask for a favor... and I saw you burn my eighth letter with sadness swimming in your eyes. I connected the dots from there, and I realized that you never sent any of my letters because you don't know her address, huh? You're left in the dark like I am, huh? You know nothing about her whereabouts, about how she's doing, about anything, huh, Jonny!" The manager kept quiet; didn't know what to say.

Jungkook slumped down on the nearest chair with a hard thump. He leaned his head back with closed eyes and softly whimpered, "I now understand the meaning ‘You reap what you sow’… I'm never gonna stop. I know I can never fix this, but I promise you Jonny, I will never stop. Ten years - fifty years from now, I will keep writing her letters... knowing that deep down all of this is for nothing. I don't care if I'm shaming myself by doing this - I don't care about anything but her. She's not mine anymore but I'm forever hers. Let me live like this. Let me live with the consequences. Let me drown myself in this regret."

The destroyed man opened his eyes and gently moved his head to the side to see the lone figure of his manager feet away. With a deep sigh, Jungkook claimed, "You're just my manager, right? So, don't involve yourself in my pitiful life. Just do the job you were hired to do, along with getting my letters. Don't care what you do to them - burn them, keep them hidden, rip them up... doesn't matter, just don't let me know about it; let me falsely believe that you mailed them to her. Alright? Now please get the car... I wanna go home."

[theultimatekamehamehavoc]

Free Time

Free Day

And now it is time for you're regularly scheduled programming of "Introverted Artist Blabbers About Their Work While Slightly Showing Signs of Instability (the fun kind??)"

Free Time - Decided to try and stage this one as if they were actually hanging out during the FTE's in the game with obvious embellishes here and there. Byakuya wasn't canonically reading the "Introvert's Guide: How to flirt with very cute boys" which just makes me think of The Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy but gay/hj Side note, though I am aware of The Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy, I am only aware that it is a book and I have only watched the movie and it was when I was a kid so I don't remember much of it besides one scene in the movie with a rock monster that was a reference to that one bad Star Trek film with William Shatner and because of how exhaused I am from these pieces and probably just this week as a whole, the only thing I can think of now is "Ha ha Shatner has the word "Shat" in it". I cannot be salvaged ;-; AHEM... I got on a tangent. So, some other thoughts I have about this one is that I'm happy with the heir's expression. It's giving me the very specific feeling that he's glancing at the book a few times before glancing at Makoto before mentally spouting something along the line of "Erm, I don't think this very applicable to my life". That just cracks me up. What an idiot. Free Day - Staged this one as if they were having a free day to themselves instead of the literal meaning of it being the free day for the prompt. Thus, this one's more domestic. They're marathoning bad movies by the way. Cus I say so and good bad movies are awesome. So many good options too. For instance, maybe it's a classic like "The Room" or maybe something more obscure like 2006 movie "Dream Home". Maybe even one of the many assortments of terrible animated films. What matters though is that they're being cute and do the cuddles. Also, I can also see this drawing maybe be them not watching a movie or TV of some sorts but maybe just conversing to one another as well. That also fits too! Some other things I wish to say is that I'm really proud of their expressions here. I feel I did them well though I really wish I could do a thinner line art style that was a lot more loose. Due to my set up, there's no way I can really accomplish that since what I'd want involves a lot of variation in the line weight to add to the softness of the image. Another thing is, as for why I like their expressions, I feel it tells a cute story. Like, Makoto's a lot more of an open person so he's laughing freely without shame while Byakuya looks like he's trying his hardest to hide his expression even in the comfort of Makoto, his favorite dude! His buddy 'ol pal 'ol friend. Also, holy crap. Why is Makoto absolutely rocking that jean jacket? Like, he's rocking it so well in my eyes and I love it. Think this is a sign I gotta draw Makoto in more jean jackets.

Edit: Oh my gosh. There are so many run on sentences here. How on earth am I an inspiring author???

[gentlebeardsbarngrill]

02/06/2024 Daily OFMD Recap

TLDR; New Events calendar; A Safe Space Ship Event; Watch Parties; Reminders; Cast & Crew Sightings; Clowning; OLD SPICE!; Stats!; Market Research?; Articles; Personal Update; Love Notes; Daily Darby / Tonight's Taika

== New Events Calendar from SaveOFMDCrew! ==

More events happening throughout the week! Tumblr Post

Tomorrow is Cosplay Day! Show off your cosplay and OFMD-Inspired outfits with the hashtags: #WearFineThingsWell!

= New Upcoming Event: A Safe Space Ship! =

Sunday, February 11th - Star of India in San Diego, CA! Museum Hrs: 10 am - 5 PM 1/2 Price Tickets!

== Watch Parties ==

Today's WWDITS watch party went great!

Lots of people had fun pointing out our lovely characters from the show (Mads, Taika, Rhys)

It actually went so well the SaveOFMDCrew twitter got banned! It's back though! If you can, please be sure to follow their backup account in case it happens again.

== Reminders! ==

Muppet Treasure Island - Feb 7th 2024 4PM EST, 1PM PST, 9 PM GMT

Watch Party Hashtags:

#MuppetPirates

#AdoptOurCrew

#SaveOFMD

== Cast & Crew Sightings ==

This was technically the 5th, but I don't think the excitement happened mostly today so I'm gonna throw it in! So Chaos Dad popped his head out yesterday just long enough to like Samba's BTS post on twitter and then also Samba and Rhys' little exchange.

And of course that triggered clowning since anytime Chaos Dad pops in we don our clown shoes. Thank you to @merryfinches for catching some of the discourse!

== Old Spice! ==

Well well well, we're back to polite menacing brands until they respond to us!

Looks like another Astroglide is starting up, the Crew is out there matching deodorants to characters. Thanks to @brainfugk for calling it out!

== Stats! Stats! Stats! ==

So close fam! Let's keep pushing that UK viewership if you have the time/spoons!

= Market Research Campaign about OFMD Potentially Going On? =

There's some speculation around the market research company YouGov potentially conducting research on OFMD. There's a big thread. Why is this important? Well this company works with streamers to measure viewership data, and if OFMD is in there...and someone's interested, that could be a good sign.

Some folks signed up, and if you're interested in doing so too, you can here.

== Articles ==

Some fun articles tonight, including Hard Drive again!

Joke Article: HBO Max Unveils Ominous New “Don’t Get Too Attached” Category

Our Flag Means Death and 9 Other Best TV Shows and Movies About Pirates

Our Flags Means Death fans get TV licence just to watch pirate show

== Personal Update ==

Some of you have heard, I got the COVID so I may be in and out over the next several days, I'm still trying to make sure I get to recaps though so don't worry! I'll let you know if I can't. Remember to mask up if you can and stay hydrated out there luvs!

== Love Notes ==

Alright lovelies. We've run out of Rhys videos for a few days so you're back to me being irritatingly loving at you! I saw this today on The Latest Kate's instagram and it reminded me of a few things I wanted to say. My brain is a bit covid-fogged so apologies if it's a bit wibbly wobbly.

We all struggle with so many little and big things in our lives. Whether it's mental health, self esteem, a physical ailment, love, lonliness, self-identity, family, friends, world conflicts, or anything, I could go on and on.

I know sometimes it feels like you are pushing so hard and you start making so much progress-- and then something, big or little stalls everything and you feel like you're having to start from scratch again.

I just want to send you a gentle reminder that progress isn't always linear. Just because you have lost momentum doesn't mean you've lost your progress. Every single situation is a learning opportunity and every time you run into a new hurdle, you learn from the last one.

You are wonderfully intelligent, kind, precious, complex people and no matter what you're dealing with, no matter how small or how big, you are moving forward and making headway bits at a time. Remember to be kind to yourself and don't beat yourself up for bad days.

We are so proud of you lovelies, remember that.

== Daily Darby / Tonight's Taika ==

Tonight's gifs are courtesy of the glorious, brilliant, talented, ever-enabling @celluloidbroomcloset from her post over here.

Ok, Good Afternoon, Good Evening and Goodnight all! <3

[natlacentral]

Hi Ian, could you tell us a little bit about yourself?

Hey! Yeah, of course. I’m a 22-year-old actor & artist from College Station, Texas. I’m a huge fan of all things art, especially the medium of film & tv. I did martial arts most of my life growing up from the ages of 9-16; it basically consumed my life. I’m a 3rd degree black belt and world champion in Weapons; I still keep up on my training. I love to write all sorts of things from songs to screenplays to journal entries, my day truly isn’t complete without writing. My life is centered around my relationship with Jesus, which is where I find my rest, my strength, and my inspiration.

Congratulations on landing on one of the leading role in “Avatar: The Last Airbender”, how does it feel to be one of the main characters Sokka in this Netflix live-action adaptation?

 Thank you so much! It feels amazing to play such a beloved and iconic character in this series. This is my first leading role, so it was a big responsibility, and I grew so much as an actor and a person in general. I loved the animated series growing up, so it was really surreal to be a part of this life action adaptation.

You mentioned that you are a huge fan of the original animated series, what traits have you noticed from that version (or the movie adaptation) of Sokka that you like? How have you thought of continuing those traits in your portrayal of the character?

 Yeah, my goal with taking on the role of Sokka was to embody the soul of that character and translate who Sokka really is while bringing in the elements that come with making him a real-life person. He’s the meat and sarcasm guy with the boomerang, but he also has a lot of very complicated emotions coming up inside of him that he’s really never been able to face before. It was a really fun challenge to get to play with all of the layers of who he is. He masks a lot of what he’s going through with his humor which I think is true for a lot of funny people. Getting to find those little correlations from the animated character and connect him to a real, emotional human place was a big task but a very gratifying one to take on.

And is there anything new you have implemented in your interpretaion? If so, what is it?

 I think the newness that comes from adapting an animated character is getting to let their human components shine through. Finding their vulnerabilities and how and when they let those show and why. Being human is being vulnerable, so just keeping their core and soul of what makes them who they are and enhancing their humanity.

In the series, Sokka tries to prove his leadership and value even without having special abilities. In the end, he becomes a hero in his own way. Do you somehow resonate with Sokka’s perseverance? Do you think these traits could somehow be an inspiration to you in your real life?

Absolutely, perseverance is a crucial component to anyone becoming truly successful in anything. I had many grueling times in my career before coming onto this show where I was very close to booking the “career defining role” that ended up going to someone else. If I hadn’t learned my love for the art and on my pursuit of the craft, I never would’ve gotten this dream opportunity.

Trained in taekwondo at a young age, did it help you in your working on your role this time?

All movement experience while working on a show with this level of action definitely helps. However, my character doesn’t have a whole lot of technical knowledge when it comes to fighting, so I had to learn how to look like I didn’t know what I was doing when it came to martial arts for Sokka.

The series seems to be very dynamic, and we assume that the performance is very physically demanding. Have you gone through some training before filming? What kind of preparation have you done for the role, both mentally and physically?

They put us through a six week long bootcamp where all four of us got to learn how to bend all four elements which was very fun but didn’t cater to my character because obviously Sokka can’t bend. I took that time to get as physically in shape as I could. On the mental component of prep, I outlined the arc for what Sokka goes through for the first 2 episodes and mapping it out so I could know exactly where I was emotionally and why in any scene. We block shot two episodes at a time, so it was important for me to get as familiar as possible with the material and have anchor points to allow me to get into the head, heart and body of Sokka wherever we found him on his journey.

Could you tell us something interesting happened during the filming? Anything fun that we don’t know from behind the scene?

 The way we filmed the Appa scenes were really interesting and weird because the whole bottom half of Appa, including the face, are fully CGI so we would hop on this huge 15 – 20ft animatronic and a crew of like 10 guys would surround the creature and manually pull and push the Appa rig up and down to make it look like we were flying.

For you, what are the most enjoyable things throughout this whole experience?

The family that I’ve made with the cast. The four of us have really become like siblings and have grown up for the past 3 years together. It’s by far been the biggest gift getting to work on this show that I’m really proud of and grateful for.

Now let’s talk about your entrepreneurship. You founded a clothing line, KALÓ SOIL, together with two of your pals. What inspires you to start this brand?

 Kaló Soil is a passion project and a creative outlet for me and the guys. It was really great for me to put my hands to another passion of mine during the actors strike. At Kaló we’re all deeply influenced by our faith, so our goal is to glorify God through the art of fashion.

How did you step into the world of repurposing vintage clothes into unique new fashion pieces?

At Kaló Soil we have a large collection of curated vintage, which is how the company started. We were wholesaling vintage and needed a show room to work out of and display the pieces we’ve accumulated. When I joined the company with Ryan Sullivan and Hunter Baker, we integrated our “Made-in-house” products which are our original designs hand sewn and sourced In LA. We still sell curated vintage alongside our own pieces online and in-store.

During the preparation of the physical store, you guys helped a homeless contractor (or maybe an interior designer you would say?) by accommodating him in the upcoming space and let him design the furniture in the store. This is indeed a benevolent act.  What encourages you to do so? Could you tell us more about the backstory and about the collaboration?

We met our friend Quinn while moving into our storage space near Skid row in DTLA and hired him to help us source products for the furniture and interior design section of the store. He’s a great guy and we’ve learned a lot from him. He has an amazing eye for the unusual which is something that all of us at Kaló really admire and value.

Are there any future plans for Ian Ousley? Both for his acting career and his fashion entrepreneurship?

The plan right now is to go back for the next two seasons of Avatar: The Last Airbender and pour my heart, soul, sweat and best efforts into the process of serving the project to make it the best it can possibly be. I’m about to start filming another project this summer that I’m very excited to dive into and share with all of you. A huge desire of mine is to direct, so I’m hoping to get my own short film shot before we start filming the show again. However, I’m mostly just trying to stay centered and focused on maintaining my relationship with the arbiter of peace, truth and life. That relationship between Jesus and I, above anything I could do in my career, is my ultimate goal and purpose.

[thestarbornpilgrim]

To the Team, what inspires you to create stuff?

Huntress: Hand drawn animation got me into this field, that was what inspired me. The process and the style and the team mentality. What inspires me now is music and other people's art work like animatics. Even tho I am mostly illustration now I have never lost the drive when I see animation.

Beetleguts: For me it's a mix of both life experiences and art forms! A lot of little things in daily life can be surprisingly inspiring I think (nature has been a big one for me in recent months), but I also get a lot of inspiration and drive from other artworks and stories. Especially if I read/watch something that feels really compelling to me! It usually makes me want to run home and work on my own things and explore new ideas.

Willow: Sometimes I have so many ideas that I just need to release them to the wild to get them out of my head. Otherwise they just sit there. I like to share my work and my world with others. But other things that inspire me are myths, books, movies, songs and tv shows! See other peoples work being enjoyed and talked about really drives me sometimes to make stories that others will enjoy. Also… bad stuff inspires me. As dumb as that sounds.

[mr-buisson-bosquet]

His it’s me the one with the aus that involve zazel

Here u go :D

1. “YKW - the flower king”: The au in general is about a Genderfluid kid named Shima (planning to change her name ngl) and his past life as the founder of the heartful tribe. In the au, Zazel is a parental figure to Shima. He gets involved early in the story, and yes in my au i gave Zazel shit ton of grenades.

2. “N-SYNC”: A backrooms au. Lmao. He’s the protag, he created the backrooms. After many yokai went missing and went insane within the backrooms, he is now trying to find them back. He also makes the mistake of hiring Inaho to help him, why is it a mistake? Inaho gets in lots of shenanigans with the insane yokai. Luckily in the end Zazel betters his reputation and most yokai are okay. :)

Hi ! ^^ I'm very sorry for the late response, I'm currently working on two big posts so hopefully it will make up for it ! Thank you so much for sending me some of your AUs !

"The flower king" AU is very interesting because it explores the concept of tribes, something that is very overlooked in this franchise in my opinion. Shima seems like a very complete character as well, there could be a lot of potential interactions with Zazel ! He is an official adoptive father after all ! I must say though, the last sentence both made me laugh and scared me a bit, because we both know how powerful this man can be if allowed near grenades- XD He could blow up entire cities in the blink of an eye because someone spoke rudely to him or Shima !

But in any case, I love the potential in this AU ! It could do for a great angsty and dramatic story, with a lot of lore. There is a lot of ways to shape Zazel's past around it !

"N-SYNC" AU : I just love the idea of Inaho and Zazel working together, because you just know by looking at them both that it's going to be a crazy ride- XD

Right when he thought he could be at peace without Enma, he has to take care of another hyperactive child without any sense of danger ! I hope Inaho doesn't hate him too much after what she called him in the second movie- She must be too busy being hyped over an insane yokai looking like an antagonist of one of her TV shows anyway- XD

The Backrooms idea is genius as well, it reminds me a lot of The Ghoulfather with his power to shape reality at will, and driving everyone crazy. Coming from a character as calm outside but conflicted inside as Zazel, it makes this power perfect for him. How exactly did he create the backrooms ? Because it would just be the most ironic thing if Enma got up one morning and discovered half of his palace and population went missing and were mentally tortured in the backrooms by his chairman without him knowing !

Poor Zazel, fortunately most of his prisoners are okay !..... we don't talk about the few that probably didn't make it- '^^

Thank you very much for sharing your AUs with me, I think they are amazing ! If you want one day to maybe make a post about them, I would be happy to learn more details about them ^^

I also created some AUs about Zazel myself, I would be happy to share some ideas if they could maybe inspire you ! Don't hesitate to let me know !

[kenobiwhump]

Closeted Bisexual

I found this in my saved posts, I couldn't find the author but if you're reading! Thank you for all the inspiration!

_______

Hello there! My name is Kristy. And this short work is about my life as a closeted bisexual.

It’s 2023, so many of you might wonder why I hide my feelings. Well, let me answer that. I am the oldest of five children and the daughter of a strict religious family. Now do you know? I think by using the words strict and religious; I might have given it away. But not only am I bisexual, but I also do not want to follow in their religious ways.

Now some of you might be wondering, move out then. Live your own life. Well, that would be a bit tricky since I’m 16 and have no job, car, or any place to crash for a while. My plan right now is to wait till I’m 18, and then go and move in with a relative.

Ever since I was little, I’ve always been fond of a close relative of mine. He’s gay and lives a very happy life with his partner. He visits every once in a while, and I look up to him so much. But my parents always told me that his life was bad. That loving the same gender is a sin. But every time I saw my relative with his partner, and I saw how happy they made each other, that made me wonder… Why is it so bad when they look so happy?

So, when I got older, my parents explained to me in detail, what being gay means and how it is disobeying the Bible. They didn’t bluntly tell me, but they did insinuate that if the relative didn’t change his ways, that he’d go to Hell. I remember countless nights, where I’d stay up and think, and then eventually cry myself to sleep, scared to death of the relative going to Hell. I didn’t want that, so for like a year, I was all religious, taking the Bible seriously, telling the relative stuff about the Bible, and trying to subtly change him. I was always talking religiously.

When I was about 12, I hit a huge emotional roadblock. The next two years were not good, I was depressed. I always have been since I can remember, I have just never been an upbeat and happy person. But I’m never always depressed. But for some reason, I was just so very depressed. I was also dealing with multiple mental health issues. When I was 13, I tried to kill myself on many occasions, some I was close, and some I never had the guts to go forward. I was put in a hospital once, and bullied there, which really wasn’t helping my mindset at the time. I’ve dealt with self-harm, and the scars I have from it will forever remind me of that time. So yes, I was a very messed up teenager.

After a while, I got better. Not totally better, not even now, but I got a bit better. During my late 13’s and early 14’s, I begin to branch out and explore what the world had to offer. I found out there was so much better music than the Christian artists I listened to. There were amazing movies and tv shows, way better than Veggies Tales or some Christian hallmark movie. There was a whole world out there, ready for me to see.

So, I got into Marvel, which was on Disney+, and streamed all 19 movies. Over and over again. Until I could start memorizing lines. I had a huge obsession with watching Jurassic Park and World, again, I could memorize lines. I became a nerd, really, a proud nerd, but a nerd nonetheless. Then I was banned from watching Marvel or Jurassic Park, I was “idolizing” it, according to my parents. When new movies came out for Marvel though, they didn’t have to know I secretly watched it on a made-up profile and then deleted it afterward.

Then, when I was 14, I loved Star Wars. More specifically the prequels. And I loved/love Obi-Wan and Ewan McGregor. I watched a lot of his movies, The Island, Our Kind of Traitor, Big Fish, Trainspotting 1 and 2, Incendiary, Son of a Gun, Raymond and Ray, Christopher Robin, Young Adam, The Ghostwriter, Doctor Sleep, and that’s just to name a few. He’s an amazing actor. Then I watched one of his best movies in my opinion, Moulin Rouge. I still can’t get the songs out of my head today. I listen to the soundtrack all the time. But that movie, is when I realized I was different than my family.

In Moulin Rouge, Ewan plays a character named Christian who falls in love with a woman named Satine. Satine is played by Nicole Kidman. And when I saw her beautiful auburn hair, her beautiful complexion, and when I heard her amazing voice. And when I thought she was so hot, that she was pretty. That was when I realized I was attracted to her character, I began to understand I was different. And maybe… It wasn’t so bad.

I have been a closeted bisexual for two years. I just recently told that relative, and it felt so good to be able to get that off my chest. I was so scared, though, Rationally, you’d think he’d be fine with learning I’m bisexual because he’s gay. But irrational me thought maybe he only thought you can be attracted to only one sex. Maybe being attracted to both is just weird. But one day, when we were alone, we were just talking, and then I blurted it out. And that was one of the best days of my life. He accepted me for me, he didn’t see anything wrong with me. He understood me. And that was all I wanted. After two years, I told my role model and the person I looked up to, and he accepted me. And the feeling that I experienced was one of the best.

Lately, I’ve gotten more bold with showing my pride, I wear a pink, purple, and blue bracelet, representing the bisexual flag. I wear a rainbow pin on my jacket, representing LGBTQ+. (My parent’s just thought it’s a special pendant I got from a friend, but my relative’s partner actually gave it to me, I was little, but I recently found the pin stored away somewhere and it was perfect) Instead of saying one day when I’m married to my husband, I say spouse.

When I was speaking to my relative about this though, he asked me a very important question. When will I tell my family?

I will tell them when I am 18, and when I have a place to live. Because honestly, I’m worried they’d kick me out. My parents are always saying, if you’re not going to abide by our rules, then you can move out when you’re 18. I think being bisexual in a strictly Christian home is breaking a lot of rules. Plus, sometimes they talk about the “man” I’ll one day marry. A Christian man who is like my parents, strictly religious. And they’ll talk about me, a Christian wife, who is below her husband, because that’s what the Bible says, and a wife who is to have children and raise them in the same environment I grew up with.

The thing is, while I’m also bisexual, I’m also asexual. I’m not interested in sex and never will be. I just want to settle down with my future partner, and cuddle. Or kiss. Sex doesn’t define a relationship, love does. And sex is not the only way to show you love someone. Another thing is, my parents know I’m asexual, but they still talk about it. They tell me I’ll grow out of it, and that in the Bible, it is said that the woman shall become one with a man, and bear him children.

And that’s hard to hear. One, because I don’t want that, but apparently, my feelings on sex don’t matter, it’s my duty to my “husband.” I thought this whole women-serving men thing ended a while ago but I guess not. And second, them telling me I’ll grow out of it, that’s the last thing I ever want to hear. It’s not a stage, and more people need to realize that. It’s their sexuality, and it needs to be brought to awareness. The thing is, through the years, PRIDE is bringing all of this to awareness and I am proud to support it and be a part of it.

I’m proud to be bisexual. I’m not scared of it. Not anymore. And one day, when I do decide to tell my parents, I’ll still be proud to be bisexual.

My dream is to one day be in a relationship with an amazing partner, maybe we adopt children, or we don’t. I just want to be happy with who I am and not hide myself.

But, happiness has a price, because when I decide to embrace myself, I’ll lose everyone but my relative and his partner. I’ll lose my family and my friends. All my friends are devout Christians, I already know their feelings on this, it’s not good. My siblings are so, so loyal to my parents. They’re so engrained in their teachings. I think maybe one or two would still speak to me but that’s it. My parents are strictly religious, so I know that would be goodbye. I know that if I ever married a woman, my dad would not walk me down the aisle. And that really breaks my heart.

I love my family so much. More than they will ever know. Even though they don’t like people who are like me, I love them. Their my family, they raised me, and they took care of me. And to think one day, that that might be all gone. That I’ll probably be the family outcast and disappointment, truly makes me sad.

But I have to think about myself. And I know that I am totally attracted to women. And one day, I might end up being with one. And right now, as I write this, I hope that anyone out there who has the same struggles as me can at least have one person to talk to. Even if it’s just one, it makes all the difference. I know it did for me. I hope that I can be happy one day and fully embrace my sexuality. And I hope anyone who is like me does too.

And I wish the people reading this all the best in life. I hope you find your true self and embrace it. Without caring about what people will think about you. Because that just makes you end up in a sad place. I hope with reading this, you understood too just be yourself. Because that’s the best you.

[webbywatcheshorror]

Webby Reviews Horror: Necromentia (2009)

[WARNING- THIS MOVIE IS UNRATED AND CONTAINS INSTANCES OF GORE, VIOLENCE, AND TOPICS THAT MAY BE CONSIDERED DISTURBING]

Prefacing this one with some content warnings since it’s a pretty messed up little movie. For more specifics, please visit this DoesTheDogDie.com entry.

(It does seem like the DtDD entry is incomplete, so if you choose to watch this one, do note that there’s a decent amount of mutilation in it, lots of blood, drug use, and an instance of necrophilia.)

Necromentia is a dark, grungy film about love, revenge, and really, really bad choices. It’s also about pain and its many forms, and what people do to free themselves of it. I’ve seen this one multiple times, and it still makes my skin crawl each time, which is quite a feat at this point tbh.

Review under the cut, and as always, SPOILERS.

I’d describe this one as being inspired by both Hellraiser and Saw- it’s one of the grimiest movies I think I’ve ever seen, and there’s a big, big emphasis on pain and has what’s basically a Cenobite. It’s also one of the first movies I remember watching that’s told basically in reverse, much like Terrified.

Also like Terrified, I’ll be splitting this one into parts to talk about, but only three, and each one will focus on a different character. Hagen, Travis, and Morbius.

The first segment of this movie is about a guy named Hagen, who is in Hell. Which is represented by a dirty maintenance hall full of pipes and dust and a figure wearing a gas mask who tells him ‘Bad Decision, Hagen’. Hagen’s story is that he’s been taking care of his girlfriend Elizabeth’s corpse with the expectation that she’ll come back to it- and she’s been dead at least a month, maybe even two or more. Hagen meets (a word which here means, is accosted by) two men, Travis and an unnamed guy wearing a shirt that says Fubar; Travis tells him they know what he’s been up to, his disgusting daily rituals, and they’re here to offer him a deal. They can bring people back from the dead, but they need his help to do it.

He agrees, and Travis lures him into the trap- he’s going to use Hagen as a key to open a gate to Hell, so he can go find his brother and Hagen can go find Elizabeth. When Hagen gets to Hell, however, all he finds is punishment- a Cenobite mutilates him with some eye horror that squicks me out, then drags him off into the darkness presumably for all eternity.

Hagen’s part in the story is fairly short to start with, and we don’t really learn much about him other than he’s a deeply disturbed, desperate man with less sense than morals (and the bar is on the floor, beasties, you’ll know what I mean later.). He’s so eager to bring back his girlfriend that he ignores the clear signs that Travis was manipulating him from the start.

11 months prior to Hagen’s demise, Travis is a young(ish?) man struggling to take care of himself and his younger brother, who has unspecified mental illness and is confined to a wheelchair most of the time, unable to really communicate. They also own the weirdest TV set known to man- it’s got a big, gnarly looking pig face framing the screen, and apparently only shows static, but Thomas loves it.

I’m pretty sure the TV is fucking possessed, because the second Travis leaves for work, we meet a man? Demon? named Mr. Skinny, wearing a pig mask and wrapped in barbed wire and tubes, singing about suicide in a high pitched voice. It’s incredibly morbid, but I inexplicably like the one line ‘wake up in the morning with shotgun mouth’. I have no idea why, as it’s certainly NOT the subject matter. Thomas seems enchanted by him and I believe this is supposed to imply that he’s been suicidal for some time but unable to express it in a way that others can understand.

The scene of Travis at work is the one that really gives me the heebies and/or jeebies- he erotically mutilates people. This ranges from cutting, sticking needles into gums, even chopping off digits, if that’s what the customer wants. It’s a scene I have a hard time watching, possibly due to the intimate feeling of it, or maybe just because I can’t stop myself from wondering how it might feel and the answer is always: BAD. The music is great though.

Moving on. Travis shoots up with some unidentified clear liquid, hoping it will help him get off the heroin, but he probably shoulda just stuck with the heroin, seeing as whatever advanced form of drug this is transports him to a different dimension where a demon greets him. Despite being warned that Thomas is in danger, Travis refuses to grant the demon his help, and a few days later, Mr. Skinny influences Thomas to murder his babysitter and supposedly commit suicide, but Travis doesn’t seem to ever find his body. (side note- the guy fell asleep reading a fetish magazine featuring ‘the wheelchair experience’. While babysitting a young man who is wheelchair bound and UNABLE TO SPEAK. Now I don’t know if that’s supposed to imply anything, but he gave me the creeps, so I’m not particularly sad to see him go.)

The demon promises to help Travis bring Thomas back, so they make a deal and the demon, Morbius, teaches Travis necromancy. Morbius takes over the body of dead babysitter, Fubar, and they start their hunt for Hagen- Morbius hates the shit out of the guy and wants him in Hell like, yesterday. When he’s finally carved up like a turkey and dropped into the Hell Hall, Travis follows him and discovers that oops! Maybe making a deal with a demon was a bad idea! He’s attacked by the Cenobite and dragged off into the darkness, just like Hagen.

Travis’s story is much sadder to me personally, and I wish he had been successful, if only for Thomas’s sake. Morbius had warned him that his weakness (self mutilation and drugs) was what drew him to the guy in the first place, and that other demons were drawn to him, too- he tells him that it’s Travis’s fault that Mr. Skinny ever found his brother in the first place. Travis was trying, struggling, being failed by the system that was supposed to help him and Thomas. All for nothing. Worse than nothing, really. 

The final portion of the movie tells us Morbius’ story and why he hates Hagen so, so much- Morbs used to be human. He was searching for answers in every way he could, including the occult, going so far as to carve sigils into his torso on his quest for meaning. He tries to show affection to his girlfriend- Elizabeth. You know, the corpse from the beginning of the movie? Yeah, her again. She refuses to look at him, cutting him off from any attempts at communication, as he is mute. All she gives him is snide remarks about working late hours.

I already hated her the moment this scene happened. I cannot stand this woman and I like her way better as a corpse. It’s already fucked up that she effectively denies Morbius the ability to ‘speak’, but later we find out she’s been cheating on him with Hagen, is apparently pregnant, and then admits she doesn’t want to leave Morbius because she likes having what is essentially a slave to her every whim. 

Then she says she’d rather Morbius be dead than have to dump him. Girl, get some fucking help. What the fuck is wrong with you.

She begs Hagen to help her murder him so they can be together, and after some half hearted protest, he gives in. Hagen is a pushover, clearly. “Help me open a hell gate, Hagen. Help me murder my boyfriend, Hagen. Fuckin’, tie my shoes, Hagen.” Just does whatever anyone asks, I guess. 

While his beloved and her future bodykeeper are plotting his death, Morbius is working as a bartender where he serves Travis and other nameless patrons. On his way home, he finds Travis passed out in the alley, freshly mugged, and discovers he, too, apparently just carries a small vial of blood on him??? And his inner monologue mentions that pain binds us all, even if we don’t know it. Probably referring to how everyone’s story is intertwined or whatever. Honestly it sounds kind of pretentious imo.

Anyway, Hagen and Elizabeth attempt to murder Morbius by putting herbicide in his drink that night, but it’s kind of a slow death and Elizabeth, impatiently, tries to hasten it by taunting him??? With news of her pregnancy?????? This pushes Morbs over the edge and he manages to strangle the life out of her before Hagen brutalizes his face with a folding chair.

Morbius wakes up in the Hell Hall, discovers he can speak, and immediately dials into the fact that he’s dead. Gas Mask demon calls him daddy in a non sexual way and tells him he’s created this Hell through sheer will, and invites him to leave behind the world of the living. When Morbius demands revenge, Gas Mask tries to warn him that to pursue this path will turn him into a monster.

And so it does. Once Hagen lands in Hell, Morbius becomes the Cenobite, twisted and blind, warped by his revenge, cursed to roam the endless Hell of his own creation. Nobody is happy and everyone is dead.

Everyone in this movie is supremely fucked up in one way or another, whether by circumstances breaking them or just by being a huge fucking bitch, Elizabeth. Hagen, Morbius, Travis, Fubar, even Thomas was fucked up, though not his fault. It’s a tragic chain of events that dooms each person unlucky enough to touch it, and hard to say whether or not things could have gone differently had they made different choices. Were they doomed from the start, or could they have avoided their fate? Who knows. 

The moral of the story could be don’t do drugs. Or it could be don’t fuck with demons. Or that revenge will consume you and make you into a monster. Or maybe just break up instead of considering murder. Seriously Elizabeth wtf.

6 out of 10 ghosts, for being an interesting story and making me uncomfortable, which I enjoy in horror. It’s a movie I revisit every several years, but not one I’d say is my favorite- just a weird little romp into a miserable, filthy world. Like seriously not a single scene took place in a clean room. Everything looked disgusting all the time. It ruled. Gross horror rules.

[422220]

✰ INTRO.

HELLO, hi, i finally got some energy to do this so here it is. EVERYBODY LIKE THIS TO PLOT OR I WILL RIOT!!! love me and kija, please, i beg. he's literally the softest man outside of the practice room but he will reign terror if you don't take his lessons seriously. definitely #DADDY because look at him but also like he gives good advice and will baby anyone younger than him. oh, and, he has a kid too. ASKSDLSDKFJSADJKL okay but on a serious note, thank you guys for being patient with me and i seriously cannot wait to write with all of your amazing muses. :D <3

I JUST TALKED FOR 3 HOURS, I KNOW, BUT LISTEN… kija is heavily inspired by hobi himself. jhope is someone i look to for comfort (he isn't called hope for nothing) so i thought i'd build a comfort character off of him. i'd say he leans more towards the more mature version of hobi, the one with a tamer aesthetic and personality, than his earlier fashion and image. (but no shade, hope world was iconic and when i started falling in love with his personality!) i also feel it's easier for me to write and relate to as i'm an anxious introvert. ADNJSKASDJSADJKL

kija was born in the bustling city of seoul, his mother was a famous tv personality that moved into journalism as she got older. (inspo is lisa ling tbh) and his father worked in the fashion industry with a focus on luxury accessories.

kija is a native of the city but he has a deep love for the countryside as that is where his grandparents retired to and he grew up visiting there. [sidenote: his comfort movie is my neighbor totoro because the setting reminds him a lot of their home!]

he has an older brother, kyubok, known as 'kyu' in the idol industry. he is a famous boy group member that debuted in the 2nd generation and was known for his dancing skill. (think taemin and shinee)

his grandfather was the first one in his family to enter the industry, he was a reporter for the kyunghyang shinmun newspaper and made special appearances on news channels. so being in the industry was like a second language to him from childhood.

kija was good enough in school, he managed to keep a to b- grades and out of trouble; he wasn't the best in math but excelled in english due to his artistic nature. he also enjoyed learning about history and geology and certain science topics. (i'm picturing him being the geeky but nice kid that wore dinosaur shirts and khaki cargo shorts when he was like six. #norizz)

kija enjoyed music as well but didn't take it that seriously until he was older, picking up the drums in middle school before taking an interest in dance and music production in high school. his brother was meant to be an idol and kija felt pressured to follow in his steps so he started dancing lessons in freshman year but truthfully, kija is introverted and has had an anxiety disorder since childhood.

here's the sad bit. *insert the tiniest violin ever* OKAY, SERIOUSLY, his grandmother passed away when he was fifteen and this completely shattered him. his low self-esteem combined with the loss of one of his closest family members messed with his mental health to a severe extent. he began to act out, acting recklessly, spending a lot of time drinking and smoking weed.

after being pressured to enter the company as a trainee when he was seventeen, he didn't stop being a rebel and got scolded a lot by the company for breaking rules but they favored him due to his family name. i want to say he never got caught with weed, i know he would have gotten punished badly, he's just a sneaky devil about that. >:) he did get caught texting another trainee romantically and showed up late or unprepared for training a few times. [sidenote: i know he's basically a nepobaby BUT don't hate him, he's matured a lot because he had a whole-ass child.]

kija wasn't the most exceptional singer or rapper but he was an exceptional dancer with lots of charisma and passion when performing so they kept him around, training him to become an idol /at some point/ but definitely not rushing it. in a way, they were stringing him along and keeping him under contract so they could eventually profit off him because they knew his name would sell. (it's lowkey giving huening vibes tbh.)

so *record scratch* you're wondering how i ended up here? driving a mini-van to pick up my kid from kindergarten? [kija vc] well, basically, he ended up getting that trainee from earlier pregnant when he was 23 and had his contract suspended immediately. this was another core memory, of course, because he was now a dad but he also had no future.

for the next two years, kija's parents paid rent as he prepared for his new life; transitioning into someone that could be a father and a husband with lots of therapy and self-reflection. (IT'S ABOUT DAMN TIME!!!)

kija was in love so it wasn't a question of that, it was a question of his maturity and ability to commit; i can safely say that he is a wonderful father and a full-hearted lover. a few months after having saja, his daughter, the two lovebirds were married and kija started a job in the local seoul theatres as a choreographer for musicals.

we all know the truth that kija didn't want to be an idol so he managed to find happiness for a few years but that comes and goes, we all know that, and shit had to hit the fan for him once again. (i'm evil, i know…)

his wife cracked under the pressure of a sudden marriage and came to him one night, explaining that she had fallen for another man, telling him that she wanted a divorce. it wasn't an ugly divorce, the two were civil and agreed to 50/50 custody, but that didn't mean that he wasn't heartbroken. kija truly loved her and had experienced the joys of first love and parenthood with her. he's hasn't seriously dated since their divorce two years ago and has focused on his career plus his parenting, of course.

after the merge, kija was given another chance from infinite and hired on as a choreographer; major thanks to his brother for putting in a good word. (lmfao) he is happy in his career, he just wants to dance because that's such a natural instinct in him; brownie points for not being in the spotlight but being paid well still.

i think i rambled enough about kija so let's move on to connection ideas??? i'm demanding that saja gets babied by everyone so she can brag that her aunts and uncles are idols at school. since he was a trainee in the past, older idols might know him and have trained with him. i'm guessing he would have known some just due to his connections through his brother. if they grew up in seoul, maybe they went to school together or were neighbors so childhood / early teenhood friends. if they were in the industry since young, kija could have known them due to his parent's connections.

since being at infinite, he maybe choreographed something for them or is currently doing so. he could just know them as a co-worker so we can grow the chemistry. since they're on tour, i'm sure he has time to party so i could definitely go for a party friend. if you think they'd get along, everyone needs someone to confide in so maybe they're close. since kija isn't the best vocalist and rapper, maybe he can help your muse produce a track since that's a hobby of his. i can see him doing anything artistic so i'm open to all sorts of collaborations. let's have them direct a music video, create instrumentals, act in something online, release an artbook or whatever else you can think of.

this was literally all over the place but i hope this is helpful enough to spark your imagination and drive you to plot with me. did i beg enough yet or should i add a pretty please? 🥺

[justsomeoneintoomanyfandoms]

Hi! Can I get a matchup for Honkai Star Rail & Genshin Impact please? ♡

Pronouns: She/Her Sexuality : Bi with a preference for men I would say ? Zodiac/MBTI : Gemini & INFJ Appearance : 5'4'', long brown hair, light brown eyes, some freckles on the face, average height, rather thin

Personality : I'm quiet/speak in a very calm voice when I don't know the people around, I smile a lot when I talk, I'm pretty shy but I'm making a lot of progress lately! I laugh/smile easily with others, I like to spend time alone but also connect with others, support them emotionally in their lives, I look for connections, I tend to overthink and question my personality/choices. I can be determined and hardworking to achieve my goals. I'm very sensitive to criticism. I’m thoughtful and like to know the consequences, I visualize the life I want to have and work to achieve it through my goals. With my close circle I like to laugh, sometimes I can even be loud and completely confident in my way of speaking

Likes: animanga, animated tv shows, books, video games, movie/anime/game soundtracks, baking, sports, fashion, astronomy and space (honkai <3), poetry, my favorite characters, animals, family and friends, nature (mountains, lakes, forests especially), graphic design, drawing, talking about topics, visiting places (in the city, in nature), daydreaming, connecting to others, finding inspiration, decorating, spring

Dislikes: lack of respect/empathy, meanness in general, hot weather, big parties, not having enough time to discover/read/watch everything I want haha, paperwork, people making fun of others, insincerity

Hobbies: watching/reading animanga, listening to soundtracks, doing artistic things, playing video games, walking outside, stargazing, relaxing, taking care of and playing with my pet, talking with my friends, watching videos to learn things

My love languages are quality time then words of affirmation and physical touch. Listening, mutual appreciation, gentle moments and sharing are what I look for most in a relationship, it's important to me!

I hope I gave enough information thanks in advance! <3

Hi Anon! Thank you for your request! I hope you like your matchups!

In Honkai Star Rail, I match you with...

Gepard is someone who can appreciate your hatred of paperwork. There are upsides to his job, but paperwork is not one of them.

He'd enjoy going for walks with you, if only to get away from the stress of his responsibilities.

He might be busy a lot of the time but when he does have free time, he loves to relax with you listening to music, watching you play games, or stargaze.

I see Gepard as someone who enjoys stargazing. He finds it relaxing but also lets him learn about something you're interested in.

Gepard is also not the biggest fan of big parties either. He doesn't mind small parties with close friends but big parties make him anxious. He doesn't want to have to arrest someone and ruin the mood.

Gepard admires your hardworking nature. He'll always check in to see how you're doing though. He's hardworking as well and he knows firsthand the impact that can have on your mental and physical health.

Loves spending quality time with you. And his favourite version of that is laying on a couch with you wrapped up in his arms. He can feel your presence and knows that you're safe and sound.

In Genshin Impact, I match you with...

Tighnari likes that you're a good balance of quiet and loud. He appreciates that you're not completely over the top but that you also have confidence in yourself.

Tries to help you not over think things too much. He knows it can be a hard habit to change but he'll give you all the support you need.

Tighnari can show a bit of lack of respect for people sometimes but only when they've done something to deserve it (like the academia scholars that keep pestering him to come to Sumeru City).

He's got plenty of experience with paperwork so if you do have to do any, he can help you out with it.

Taking walks with you is one of Tighnari's favourite pastimes. He gets to spend time with his favourite person, as well as be surrounded by nature.

Also enjoys doing artisitc things with you. Tighnari's more academically inclined but I think he's pretty good at drawing, especially when he's drawing plants.

Tighnari is also a fan of physical touch. He'd love to stand with you, arms wrapped around you in a tight hug and gently sway side to side. His tail will be swaying as well. He's never felt happier.

[asterstarz]

You’d be surprised how engrained in american culture and media the praise & honor of law enforcement (and the law itself) is. Growing up as a poc in america (and a child of immigrants at that), I had no clue about the corruption of the system up until i entered school and even then it took personal experiences and unlearning to realize how corrupt it got to the point i’ve stopped trusting in it at all.

Most of our views about the world during our childhood are based on media portrayals, and most shows and movies portray law enforcement as being one of the most honorable things you can be besides a soldier. Popular shows like Criminal Minds, Law and Order, NCIS, Magnum P.I., I mean the list really goes on and on, reinforce the idea that cops are the good guys and criminals are the bad guys no matter what. This could also be a reason going into why Harvey’s view of the world is so rigid. And this is just mentioning tv shows! The news, literature at every age, hell even cops visiting schools with dogs for students to pet (assuming the gcpd even care to enforce copaganda like that) are common here.

Alongside that, the law itself is heralded as incorruptible and pure, the very thing keeping our country together, and from Harvey’s point of view, he sees the law as a source of structure in the chaotic environment he was raised in. Anyone can hold these beliefs despite their circumstances. I’ve seen and heard of poc from lower socioeconomic backgrounds choosing to go into law to try and “fix it”, or at least work at improving it. For example, supreme court justice Sonia Sotomayor is Puerto Rican and came from a low socioeconomic background in the Bronx. Honestly, she might be a bit of unrealized inspiration for my mental image of Harvey, and i’d encourage you to read a bit about her if you’re interested, it could give you an idea of how to approach someone from a similar background approaching law.

Let’s say that Harvey experienced a lot of injustice from the system and the corruption of the law since childhood, whether personally or not. Harvey seems to ignore the odds of something happening in favor of there being a positive outcome to balance it out (i.e. his father’s abuse utilizing the coin), so it isn’t impossible to assume this is also how he views the law. If he works hard enough, he can flip the system to its good side. When you’re trying to cope with being in an unstoppable cycle of punishment you’ve convinced yourself you deserve, i’d imagine that something that seems to be set in stone is enough for you to find balance on.

So personally, I believe it’s entirely plausible for Harvey to be a poc from a poorer background and still cope using the structure of law and pursuing a career as the D.A.. It’s such a mindfuck to exist in america and see the difference between what the country wants you to believe about the law versus how it’s actually carried out, and with how fucked up his home life already is, it’s not hard to believe that his views on the reality of how things are supposed to be and how he can handle them are shaky.

I really want to have my version of Harvey Dent be POC but the more I think about it the harder it becomes to figure out what sort of sociocultural background and experiences would cause a POC kid presumably from the wrong side of the tracks, or at least not doing well financially, to make The Law his chosen coping mechanism and see the institutions of its enforcement as reformable rather than just distrust it by default, especially with the extra layer of corruption going on in Gotham. Don't get me wrong, it's not impossible to write, but personally I think Harvey's family would have to start off as at least middle class in order for that to happen.

[shen-daozhang]

A while ago @majestictortoise got an ask about c-drama recs for someone who has watched The Untamed, and opened the floor for more recommendations from other people. I have a Part 1 here, but I ran out of time/space, and there were still a couple that I wanted to mention- specifically for someone who is looking for more danmei-inspired shows. I have a watch list here that's filterable by genre, as well as some other things, but like my first list I wanted to pull out a couple that I think are good for people who are looking for something to watch after The Untamed that might not be the first shows you'll hear about here on Tumblr (so, no Word of Honor, Guardian or TGCF).

Since this is my list and I can do whatever I want, I have also included a movie and some donghua ^^

Want found family and food porn? A delightful cast of flawed people trying their best who grow and change throughout the show? Then check out...

THE SLUETH OF THE MING DYNASTY 48 episodes. Viki.

In 1478, three very different men- low-level magistrate and foodie Tang Fan, imperial guard Sui Zhuo, and palace eunuch and teenaged head of the Western Depot Wang Zhi- team up to solve mysteries and stop a major conspiracy

The found family in the show is one of my favorites in all of tv, and I love that it expands beyond the "two adults and a kid or two" setup you see a lot. Nearly all of the characters start off a strangers and the relationships that grow between them are just really well done. This show also touches on mental illness (Sui Zhuo has PTSD from his time in the military) and while it's through the lens of it being the 1470s, I just really like how it was handled in terms of how it impacts his relationships, but also how his relationships impact his mental health. I highly recommend this show if you enjoy historical mysteries with some basis in reality (while the events of the show are very much fiction, the Emperor, Consort Wan and Wang Zhi were all real people).

This is inspired by the danmei webnovel of the same name by Meng Xishi. While there is the addition of a female love interest for Tang Fan (who imo is an interesting character in her own right), Tang Fan and Sui Zhou literally end up living with each other and basically adopt a child together - I think it's pretty clear what's going on between them aside from a platonic bromance. You might recognize: Tang Fan is voiced Su Shangqing, who overdubbed Meng Yao in The Untamed and Cao Weining in Word of Honor.

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Looking for a short show with a unique take on the mystery procedural and fantastic chemistry between the leads? Then...

UNDER THE SKIN 20 episodes. Viki.

Artist Shen Yi has a remarkable talent for constructing eerily accurate portraits using limited information about the subject. Seven years ago, that talent was used to murder a police officer investigating a human trafficking ring. Newly hired as a police sketch artist, Shen Yi clashes with the headstrong police captain Du Cheng who blames Shen Yi for his colleague’s death. As cases with connections to the trafficking ring begin to appear, can they put aside their differences and move on from the shadows of the past?

"Wait, hold up," you say. "This isn't a danmei adaptation." Technically you're correct but hear me out. I tend to avoid modern mystery shows for personal reasons, but when this come out earlier this year I thought I'd give this a chance mostly for the language practice. I'm really glad I did, because a show I thought was going to be something I was just half-watching ended up grabbing me by the throat and not letting go.

This is a good show that's made exceptional by the acting of and chemistry between Shen Yi and Du Cheng. I actually stopped watching an episode to check if this is based on a danmei webnovel because the enemies-to .... bros was just so strong (it's completely original for the record). In fact, most of my faults with the show lie in the episodes where they don't interact as much.

I already thought Tan Jianci was a good actor going into this (he's a stand out in Winter Begonia and steals the show in Secret of the Three Kingdoms) but this is easily his best performance. He's fantastic as both the edge-lord Shen Yi of seven years ago, and the haunted, driven man he became. Jin Shijia is perfectly cast as the earnest, heart-on-his-sleeve Du Cheng, and is a wonderful foil to Shen Yi. Seriously, I could go on and on about the chemistry between the two of them. The art aspect of this show is also really interesting! Unlike a lot of shows with a "gimmick" this show actually keeps up the art thread and uses it in new and interesting ways. I will say that I think this show loses a little steam in the middle (though it regains it again); however the characters more than make up for any faults to be found in the plot. I also wanted to mention that I really liked that there were two young women in the show who weren't there to be love interests, who develop a caring friendship with the men. I found that really refreshing.

I just want to give a heads up that there are some cases involving sexual violence (all handled in a PG13 manner). Feel free to message me if you need more details. I also go into more details about the content in my entry for this show on my watchlist.

You might recognize: Tan Jianci is playing Gu Yun in Winner is King Two actors from Sleuth of the Ming Dynasty appear in this. Baby Zhang (Qing Ge in TSOMD) is a co-worker, and the Emperor shows up in one of the cases.

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Are you in the mood for a beautifully designed and evocative show about the importance of the arts in a time of rapid change?

WINTER BEGONIA 49 episodes. Viki.

As the threat of the 1937 Japanese invasion looms over Beijing, two very different men- Western-educated businessman Cheng Fengtai and eccentric and talented opera singer Shang Xirui bond over their shared love for Peking opera.

(Full disclosure I'm still watching this at a glacial pace - this is a show I have to savor rather than binge - however I still feel the need to recommend this show because it's just so good so far)

Going into this, I'd heard this got regulated to just a bromance (you know how it is), but upon watching this I just have to say I have never seen more soft looks and soft-focus camera lenses used in so many shots with two men gazing at each other. Seriously, get yourself somebody who looks at you like Cheng Fengtai looks at Shang Xirui.

I had sworn off Republic-era dramas because the costuming and prop design tends to be... not great and those are two of my special interests, but I am so glad I gave this show a chance because it's beautiful. They walk a good line of being decently period correct while still telling you a lot about a character at a glance, and the opera costumes are stunning. It also looks like they sourced a good number of actual vintage props as well. A lot of care and effort was clearly taken to recreate the world of 1930s Beijing (called Beiping during this period), and the show really immerses you in a world that's rapidly changing. I think they also do an excellent job of involving audiences in why opera- which has become an acquired taste for modern audiences - is something that is so important to these characters.

You might recognize: Hei Zi (Gao Chong in Word of Honor) as Commander Cao Tan Jianci (Secret of the Three Kingdoms, Under the Skin, Winner is King) as Chen Renxiang

A film and some donghua under the cut!

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Open to film or animation? Well, then that case...

THE YIN YANG MASTER: DREAM OF ETERNITY (film) Netflix.

When a demonic serpent awakens, polar opposites Qingming and Boya must team up to stop a dark conspiracy that threatens their world.

Another "this technically isn't a danmei adaptation but there is no heterosexual explanation for what's going on"

This is one of my favorite movies! In particular, I'm really taken with the art direction, which is a blend of Japanese and Chinese influences. The costuming in this movie is drop-dead gorgeous. If you like opposites-attract, and sorta-enemies to.... "bros", you'll love how Boya and Qingming go from literally spying on each other because they don't trust the other one, to the other being the one person they are willing to lay down their life for :') There's also a side-romance that's checks off a lot of tropes for me that I can't get into with getting spoiler-y, but suffice it to say this movie gave me more feels than I expected from a New Years SFX extravaganza.

You might recognize Deng Lun (Boya) from Ashes of Love

NOTE: This movie and Yin Yang Master (Shi Shen Ling) are not related! They're both on Netflix and about the same characters, but they're completely different takes, with different stories and tones. I also really like that movie too and recommend it (in particular Chen Kun is fantastic as a more openly chaotic Qingming), but there aren't any of the implied feelings between Boya and Qingming in that one, even though that Qingming exudes chaotic bisexual energy

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Do you like stories with a main character who is trying to remain true to his principles and survive in a corrupt environment, while their foil is very "I don't see why I can't be both the love interest and the antagonist?" Then check out:

THOUSAND AUTUMNS 16 episodes. WeTV.

Devout Daoist sect leader Shen Qiao believes in the fundamental goodness of humanity. Demonic sect leader Yan Wushi firmly believes that all humans are fundamentally evil. When an assassination attempt leaves a poisoned and blinded Shen Qiao in Yan Wushi's hands, will Yan Wushi be able to corrupt him? Or will their relationship change how they both see the world and their place in it?

Obviously I love this show (and the webnovel it's adapted from, also by Meng Xishi), given my username. Yan Wushi and Shen Qiao- and how they play off each other- are some of the most fascinating characters in fiction, in my opinion. In addition they cast one of my favorite voice actors as Yan Wushi, and somehow made it more explicitly gay than the novel at this point in the story- which never happens- so it's just fantastic all around, honestly.

There is an unofficial resub that I highly recommend checking out because the the official one leaves a lot to be desired and frankly doesn't do justice to the show by a long shot. Send me a message for a link! You might recognize Yan Wushi is voiced by Wu Lei (voice of Shen Qingqiu in Scum Villain)

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Want a modern fantasy with interesting world-building and a story that stretches back millennia? Do you like two main characters who are both kind of terrible people and are incredibly full of themselves, who are also just really fun to watch? Then.... DROWNING SORROWS IN RAGING FIRE 12 episodes. Funimation.

3,000 years ago, against seemingly insurmountable odds Sheng Lingyuan united humans against the monstrous yao threatening their survival, and won. But despite being heralded as savior in his youth, Sheng Lingyuan is remembered by history as an infamous emperor who committed many ruthless and cold-blooded atrocities before throwing himself into a lake of fire. In the modern day, Xuan Ji- who works for an organization dealing with magical beings while being one himself- has a big mess on his hands because someone just raised a demon Sheng Lingyuan from the dead, and their reasons for doing so are probably bad news for everyone. And also Sheng Lingyuan is an emotionally manipulative asshole, honestly. But why do Sheng Lingyuan and Xuan Ji seem to have an inexplicable connection? And what's the truth behind Sheng Lingyuan's actions so long ago?

I feel like this sells itself - the main character is a cocky bisexual fire bird-man, and the love interest is a manipulative demon who blows up an elevator because he doesn't understand Arabic numerals, and they're both terrible people and it's fantastic. This is based on the webnovel of the same name by my favorite author, Priest, which I also highly recommend.

I watched this as it aired and I went from skepticism (don't care for the animation style or the character design, makes me think of Pokémon) to LOVE by the end of the first episode when the two main characters started interacting. And really, the interactions between the two leads is what really carries this show, but I also have a soft spot for Aloujin. My biggest compliant is I personally found some of the humor from the ensemble characters to be a swing-and-a-miss, and the show starts off a little funky, but my love for the main characters more than overpowers those elements.

You might recognize: Sheng Lingyuan is voiced by Jiang Guangtao (Xie Lian in TGCF- he's the complete opposite in this and it's great) Xuan Ji's sugar daddy Xiao Zheng is voiced by Guo Haoran (dubbing actor for Zhao Jing in Word of Honor)

So that's that for my recommendations for the moment! I've been thinking about doing one of these for webnovels (which I also have a list for) ...

[just-dreaming-marvel]

My Queen

MAIN MASTERLIST

Tony Stark x Fem!Reader

Word Count: 1,240ish

Summary: heyy, could I request a fem reader x tony stark very fluff, he loves her a lot and is a softie with her and treats her as a queen, please? / Can I made a request a maybe relaxing time with Tony?Maybe sitting in the sofa, watching tv and cuddle time. Something like that.

Warnings: mentions of making love and bathing each other

Notes: I hope that this is good and fluffy for you. (AND YES, I’M STILL ON BREAK. I HAD SOME INSPIRATION AND DECIDED TO BE KIND AND POST THIS FOR Y’ALL.)

TAGLIST INFORMATION

“Tony,” you whined, trying not to make it annoying. You stood in the doorway of his lab, wrapped up in a blanket. “Tony.”

“What is it, honey?” He responded, still fully focused on his project in front of him.

“I want cuddles.”

He couldn’t help but laugh lightly as he put his stuff down and faced you. “You want cuddles?” His arms crossed over his chest.

“Yes,” you pouted. “Please?” There was nothing really calling for cuddles. Nothing went wrong, you were feeling okay. You just wanted to be close to your boyfriend.

Tony laughed as his arms spread and he beckoned you to him. “Come here, babe.”

“Yay!” 

You rushed over and practically jumped into Tony’s lap. Your arms snaked around his waist as your face buried into his neck. An almost involuntary sigh passed your lips as he held you close.

“Better?” He wondered.

“Much.”

He kissed the side of your head. “Good. Would you like to go up and do this more in the bedroom?” You answered with a nod. “Okay.” Tony easily maneuvered you so that he was carrying you bridal style.

“I can walk, Tony,” you giggled.

“Oh no,” he shook his head. “If you want cuddles today, then you will get cuddles and be treated like the queen you are.”

All you could do was smile at his words. You relaxed in his hold and allowed him to carrying you up to your shared bedroom. He laid you down on the bed. As you went to pull him next to you, he pulled away, causing you to pout.

“Oh please don’t look at me like that,” Tony said. “I’m just going to run and get a few things. I promise I won’t be long.”

You pursed your lips and nodded, willingly letting him go. You didn’t know what he needed to get. But you knew that he would be quick if he knew what was good for him. You cuddled into the blanket around you and brought Tony’s pillow up to you. You had slightly drifted off when Tony finally came back.

“Okay, okay,” he announced his presence. “I grabbed all your favorite treats and snacks.” He began to set things out on the top of your dresser. “I grabbed water and your favorite drinks. FRIDAY has loaded up your favorite movie and tv shows up on the tv. Oh, and I have the menu’s to our favorite restaurants so that we don’t have to leave the bed all day.”

“I love you,” you smiled at him.

“I know,” he shrugged it off playfully. “But I’m not done.” Tony rushed into the bathroom. You could hear him digging through somethings before coming back out. “Your favorite lotions so that I can give your feet and hands a massage.”

You moaned. “That sounds great. Can you, uh… can you massage my feet right now, actually?”

“Yes.” He came over and sat down beside your feet.

“FRIDAY, turn on my favorite movie.”

“Of course, Miss,” the AI responded as Tony put lotion on one of your feet and began to massage.

You let out a sultry moan, closing your eyes. “That feels amazing.”

“You’re going to have to watch those sounds of yours, Y/N,” Tony scolded, teasingly. “Or I’m going to have to treat you like a Queen in a different way.”

“We can do that later,” you smirked, peeking one eye open to look at him. “Especially if you keep doing this.”

Tony massaged both your feet, taking his time and being gentle, before moving onto your hands. While he did your hands, he would pepper kisses on them and up your arms. He fed you the snacks he had brought in and kept you hydrated. You felt so blessed. All you wanted was cuddles and Tony had decided to completely throw his scheduled day out and treat you like a queen. How he kept making you fall more in love with him, you’ll never quite understand it. You fell asleep while Tony was washing his hands from the lotion. He smiled as he crawled in beside you and pulled you on top of him. He kissed your cheek as his held you there.

When you had come asking for cuddles, there was no way that Tony was going to say no. You were so cute and he had realized that he hadn’t had a lazy day with you in a long time. He also realized that you deserved to be pampered after constantly having to put up with him. As he held you close, he made a mental note to do this more often.

Tony briefly fell asleep, still waking up before you. He told FRIDAY what food to order as he still held a sleeping you on top of him. Happy was the one to bring the food up and quickly left before you even noticed.

“Y/N,” Tony called gently. “Sweetheart, food’s here.” You groaned. “Again, you got to stop making sounds like that. Cause you’re just asking for trouble.”

“Yeah?” You mumbled. “Maybe I want some trouble.” Barely moving from your spot you began kissing Tony’s neck. He squirmed from underneath you. “You okay there, honey?”

“Oh you little minx.” Tony quickly flipped you under him. 

“I thought that I was a queen?”

“You can’t be both?”

~~~

After a good, long, love making session, Tony started a bath for the two of you. He lit some candles and dimmed the lights to create a romantic atmosphere. Then he carried you over to the tub, setting both of you down in it. Tony helped you get comfortable against him, allowing you to fully relax. Especially since you let him have his way with you.

“Your so beautiful,” he whispered against your wet skin. “How did I get so lucky?”

“I should be asking you that,” you replied. “You’ve been so good to me all day.”

“You deserve it. You have to put up with me and my antics all the time.”

Tony and you worked together to carefully wash each other. Each pressing tender kisses over the others skin. Tony left the bath first, drying himself off and wrapping the towel around his waist before helping you. He dried you off and helped you into a silky night gown, before taking care of himself. You two sat on your bed and ate the food Happy had brought while watching some crappy reality tv.

“How come the Avengers don’t have a reality tv show?” You wondered.

“It’s come up in meetings a few times, but I keep saying no,” Tony responded.

“Why?”

“Because those people are so fake and the paparazzi just tears their whole lives to shreds.”

“Don’t they already do that do you all?”

“Yes. But right now it’s on my terms. If we did a reality tv show, then it wouldn’t and I wouldn’t be able to protect you as well as I wish to. I hate it when the press says awful things about you, I wouldn’t be able to stop it all if it was all out there like that.”

You cupped his cheek. “You’re so sweet. I love you so much.”

“Not as much as I love you, my queen.” He eagerly kissed you.

“My queen?” You repeated softly as you parted for a brief second. “I think I like the sound of that.”

“Good. Because I’ve already had FRIDAY change your contact name. It’s staying.”

[thefanficmonster]

Hey Vy! 📚🌻 Anon here, once again!

I'm so happy that you missed the 3 word challenge cause I missed reading it! It is such a good way to deal with writers block, for example.

Okay so, recently I've watched the Korea tv show Round 6 (also called squid game), and I've watched the 3 seasons of NBC Hannibal.

I do recommend both for you to watch but be careful cause there is a lot of blood, murder, organs, canibalism (in Hannibal)(Not raw tho), so if you have a weak stomach or just don't like it, it may not be the show for you. (But Hannibal have canon gay so we forgive).

Since Im deeply inspired by this two shows, today you will have a 5 word challenge, inspired somehow by something in the show! (Ps: i chose to not put "graphic words" cause I don't know what you are comfortable or not writing, so i didn't put words like canibalism or murder)

The words are: Beloved, Becoming, Mongoose, Debt and VIP.

Unnecessary explanation of the words that I chose (you can skip this 🤧):

Beloved: Reference to Hannibal (main character in the tv show Hannibal), cause he calls Will beloved sometimes.

Becoming: Reference to Hannibal. Basically Will (main character) will throughout the show become a murder, and Hannibal refers to that as his Becoming. Hannibal also uses that word as in a reference to Will being free and himself. (Being a murder and being true to yourself is pretty much the same thing here).

Mongoose: Reference to Hannibal. That's how will is called by Hannibal sometimes. So cute <3

Debt: reference to Squid Game. Every character is in a deep debt.

VIP: Reference to Squid Game. VIP are really important and rich (also disgustingly horrible people), and they kind of fund the game.

If you made this far, here's a cool music indication: "Black butterflies and deja Vu" by The Maine

That's it! Bye Vy! Sorry for writing too much, <3!

SQUID GAME YOU SAY!!! - Sorry for the caps but I got really excited 😂 Although I haven't seen Hannibal (I'll take your recommendation for it, for sure!) I have seen and I'm OBSESSED with Squid Game. Thank you so much for your five word challenge, I've really missed doing this!

I will most definitely write a Squid Game fic in the future but as of now I’m gonna turn to my new obsession - Ari Aster horror movies! Enjoy!

Shadows

Peter Graham [Hereditary (2018)] x Estra Davis (Female OC)

Warnings: SPOILERS for the movie Hereditary, Disturbing Content regarding demons, possession, Death, Mentioned Deaths, Demonology, Swearing, Injuries, Mentions of blood and gore, Mentions of Mental illness

Genre: Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Romance

Estra Davis stares down at her phone screen which displays an incoming call from her ‘business partner’, Damian Louis who she hasn’t heard from in weeks and she’s most certainly not in the mood to be hearing from him right now as she awaits entrance into her sister’s room in the psych ward where she’s resided for the past five years following what happened to her and her family all those years ago. Their lives got turned upside down in a flash of misfortune that no one expected nor was able to put an end to. A misfortune so terrible and crippling, it has left Estra and Deres as the only remaining members of the Davis family. Well, their parents aren’t dead, they’re in prison where they’re serving a life sentence. However, their younger brother Brian who was only seven at the time had his life cut short so brutally and cruelly which is what put Deres in the mental state she’s in.

Estra is not holding up the best she’s ever been, but she’s pulling it together as much as she can. She’s holding onto reality, stubbornly building a wall between her and her mind every time her trauma breaks through the previous one. She cannot afford to end up like her older sister.

A nurse offers her a polite smile and a nod as she gestures for Estra to follow her to Deres’ room the door to which is opened to let air inside and allow the disheveled shell of the girl that she used to be hear some voices to remind her she’s alive. It’s a sight that’s so painful to see, Estra has had to hold back the need to puke many times in the past.

The nurse leaves the two alone, reminding the younger girl what button to press in case she finds herself in any danger with her sister before excusing herself with a sympathetic look.

With a sigh, the girl takes a bold step forward, “Hey Deres.”

The older sister who’s been sitting by the window all morning turns her head to give the familiar face a smile, brightening her pale, almost grey features. 

“Had breakfast yet?“ Estra asks, dragging a chair parallel to her sister’s so they can both stare out the window.

“You just missed Brian. He came to visit me.“ She replies quietly, unintentionally avoiding to answer the younger sister’s question. The words stab into the girl’s chest like a dozen knives but she keeps a smile on her face as her sister keeps talking, now pointing out the window, “There he is, he’s waving goodbye to us.“

She knows she won’t be able to see him, she knows she won’t ever see him outside pictures again and yet she still strains her eyes to search the hospital’s yard, praying for her mind to play a trick on her so she can, even for a moment, ‘see’ him again but she doesn’t. Swallowing back her tears, she waves a hand at her ‘brother’, feeling her stomach turn painfully.

“I’ll be right back...“ She smiles at Deres, placing a gentle hand on her shoulder as she nods with a smile.

This is one of those days. One of those days Estra finds especially hard to hold back that need to throw up which is why she quickly runs to the bathroom to rid herself of the toxic feeling in her gut. She coughs her throat clean and washes her hands and mouth, flushing the toilet and spraying some freshener in the air to cover up the smell. She stops before exiting the dimly lit bathroom, turning to the mirror so she can practice a realistic looking smile despite the tears running down her cheeks. Deres doesn’t notice those anyway.

Just as she’s about to go back to her sister, her phone rings. It’s Damian again. Estra’s finger hovers over the red Decline button for a few seconds before deciding she needs the distraction and answers the call.

“You’re not gonna believe this!“ The enthusiastic voice of her fellow demonologist and paranormal investigator radiates energy she’s glad to feel even through the phone.

“Need I remind you of who you’re talking to?“ She asks with a playful scoff, running a hand through her hair, “I’ve seen it all.“

“Well this you haven’t, I promise you.“ Dam continues rambling causing the girl to periodically space out and then return when specific words would intrigue her. Eventually, much to her relief, he decides to do a summary of what he’s said, “So, basically, this mongoose dingus has lost his mind and blames it on some cult or some demon, I don’t even know at this point.“

Estra rolls her eyes in mild disappointment. False alarms like this have been brought up by many individuals or families in the past, 99.9% of the time resulting into nothing but a waste of time for her and Dam. “Give me his name again, I wanna look him up.”

Dam is quick to casually reply, “Um, Peter Graham.“

That was a verbal punch delivered straight to Estra’s gut, knocking the air out of her while simultaneously giving her whiplash. 

That’s a name she doesn’t need to look up or do a research on - everyone in her field and even anyone with any interest in the paranormal has heard of what has happened to the Graham and what’s going on with what’s left of their oldest child - Peter, now twenty-one years old, living in that house all by himself as rumor has it.

Well, Estra’s done with listening to rumors.

“Meet me at the office in fifteen.“ She tells Dam before hanging up and walking out to find her sister now sitting on the bed, “Hey sis, I gotta run.“ She kisses the top of Deres’ head before waving her goodbye and practically running out of the room in chase of the perfect distraction from what has been going on in her personal life all these years.

*  *  *  *  *

“Estra, you’re insane! I’m not just gonna waltz in that house, playing the role of a fucking bait for whatever haunts it!“ Exclaims an exasperated Dam who’s been trying with the overly eager Estra for the past half an hour.

“It’s our chance of a lifetime, Dam! You can’t tell me anybody else has done this because no one has! This will give us so many points for originality and...“ The girl defends her statement, refusing to give up ground to her slightly older companion who uses that age fact against her in every argument. It goes without saying that she doesn’t let it slide.

He cuts her off, “We’re not going, Es! I sure as hell won’t and I’m not letting you go in alone either!“ He huffs in frustration as he sits down in the chair he abandoned twenty minutes ago, “Just look at what happened to your beloved sister!“

“Don’t bring Deres into this, you prick!“ She snaps, slamming the palms of her hands onto the polished surface of Dam’s desk, “Her and I are not the same! The only thing we share at this point is one last name! That’s not Deres I’ve been going to see twice a week for five years. I don’t recognize that girl!“

“Exactly! I don’t want that to happen to you too!“ Dam lashes out, mirroring her levels of hostility.

“It won’t!“ She digs her nails into the wood or at least attempts to, giving up when she feels them start cracking under the pressure, “We were both driven insane, Damian, but in completely different ways! The trauma crippled her but it’s made me stronger! I’m more volatile, hostile, more willing to put everything in jeopardy to protect the people I care for! I’m no longer afraid, Dam, no longer afraid of anything...“ She trails off for a second, her gaze falling on a picture of Peter on one of the files Dam has compiled. He looks so harmless to her, especially in comparison to the possessed mountain of a man that she escaped when she was only seventeen. She also happens to be a year older than him, giving her a sense of protectiveness over him almost like she had over Brian.

And look how well you protected him

The thoughts shake her to her core, causing her to ground herself back to reality where she’s still sitting in front of a very worried and practically terrified Dam.

“She was weak, the girl I was. Deres wasn’t but now she is. We’re mirrored versions of each other.“ One last look at the picture of Peter later, she’s met Dam’s eyes with an intense glare that’s more meant for her past self than for him, “He needs his story to be heard.“

*  *  *  *  * 

The drive up to the Graham abode was unnerving. Estra is not one to change her mind when she build herself a goal but she was very willing to tell the Uber to turn the fuck around and take her back with each mile they got closer to the monstrosity of a house.

Hearing the car’s engine revving further and further away from her, leaving her alone in the eerie place doesn’t help close up the pit that has opened in her stomach and so she periodically remains locked in place, feet almost feeling like they’ve dug into the ground and planted her there like a tree. Except she’s able to move, just doesn’t want to. Does she now believe this was a bad idea? No. Is she terrified of going in there though? Hell fucking yes.

But she’s already paid the Uber and already let him go so...might as well get her money’s worth.

With a deep inhale she takes large, faux confident steps towards the house. Just then, her phone rings, causing her to let out a scream she’s not particularly proud of. Unsurprisingly, it’s Damian.

“God fucking damn you, Dam! You’re becoming scarier than the actual experience!“ She complains, covering up her panting with a disapproving shout.

“I’m sorry!“ He doesn’t sound sorry, “I just wanted to let you know I’ve put a tape recorder in your bag along with some holy water and sage. The recorder will be on constantly and if you don’t get any ideas, Graham won’t have to know about it.“ He says, sounding awfully proud which probably wouldn’t have been the case if he could see Estra’s face right now, “No need to thank me. Just consider it a debt you’ll have to pay off eventually.“

Her face falls instantly, cheeks flushing with a crimson shade of pure anger, “Thank you? Repay you? You know what, I might as well pull it out and crush it right here on the pavement! What the fuck were you thinking?! I’m not some journalist trying to make a story to tell the press about this guy! This man needs help!”

“Estra, we are journalists of the supernatural! Get your head in the fucking game! There’s no compassion here! You say a few words, make yourself a couple of bucks and get the fuck out! What don’t you-“

Dam never gets to finish his sentence because Estra is quick to hang up only seconds before the front door before her opens to reveal a disheveled man with messy black hair and scars on the bridge and around his nose. His dead eyes look into hers, reminding her of the ones she saw every time she looked in the mirror until recently.

Before she could get a word out, the man who is definitely no other than Peter Graham, puts his hand on the door handle, ready to close it once more, “I have nothing to tell you.“

The girl is quick to disagree though, shoving her boot-clad foot between the door and its frame, “I think you do.”

“No, I don’t! I don’t wanna see my family tragedy in the morning newspaper tomorrow.“ He argues, putting all his little strength into shutting that door which would probably hurt like a bitch had the boot not been as solid as it is, taking the painful friction and not allowing it to reach her foot.

“I’m not a journalist!“ She retorts, refusing to move. “No one will know your story, I swear!“

Giving up his futile attempts, he lets go, stepping back to open the door a bit more, “Ok then what are you?”

Sighing in relief but still not moving her foot, Estra replies, “First of all, I’m Estra Davis.“ She extends a hand to him, one he luckily takes, “A paranormal investigator. Demonologist, if you will.“

Although he looks a little stunned, he too seems relieved, “Peter Graham, but I bet you already knew that.”

“Yeah, I did.“ She offers him a smile which, much to her surprise, he returns, “So...can I come in?“

This causes his eyes to widen, “You want to come in?”

She’s quick to explain herself, afraid she might lose his trust, “I mean, if it makes you uncomfortable we can stand outside and talk...”

“No...“ He too feels the need to justify himself, “It’s just that most people who know...wouldn’t really want to go inside. I know I wouldn’t.“

Estra experiences the hit of the second wave of relief in the past ten minutes, “No, not all. If I were a scaredy cat like that I wouldn’t be here.”

"In that case...." The guy sighs, "...come in, I guess."

Over the countless hours Estra and Damien spent researching this case, they came across many pictures of the interior of the Graham home. It would’ve easily been perceived as beautiful, but knowing what they know made it hard to see it as anything but eerie. However, now that one half of the duo finds herself inside the house, she understands how little justice those pictures did it. And the word eerie doesn’t even begin to describe the atmosphere. 

“Listen, um....I guess you believe this stuff if you’re here...but still I want you to know that every time it seems like I lose control, I actually do. It’s not up to me to choose when it takes over so....be prepared.“ Peter explains truthfully, though it hurts him to admit it out loud. Estra is one of the only people he’s had contact with since the possession and he hasn’t had anyone to talk to about it until now. He really doesn’t want to scare her away, though it seems to him it would take a lot more than that to chase her out of the house.

That’s further proven when she shrugs in response to his heartfelt statement, “I believe you, Peter, I really do, but I can handle myself, don’t worry.” She awkwardly grind her heel into the wooden floor of the foyer as she looks around, barely containing herself from gushing about it all. It really wouldn’t be appropriate. She’d ask to take pictures to show Dam but that’d be inappropriate too, so she just settles for asking: “Can I have a house tour?”

Peter, surprised by the move on her part, reluctantly nods before guiding her into the living room It’s not like he was expecting her to jump straight into the cult questions but he also wouldn’t have been taken aback if that were the case. Luckily for him, it’s not. He finds an odd sense of genuineness in her demeanor and he’s unsure of whether it’s a real feeling or just his wishful thinking, but he’s still glad to be in her company. Or at least halfway so.

“You get a lot of natural sunlight in here.“ The girl comments as she wanders around the place, careful not to touch anything. That’s the first rule when entering a supposedly haunted house - do NOT touch anything. She approaches the window, looking outside, admiring the view the room has. It’s such a shame - even if this house was on the market now, knowing its history, she wouldn’t buy it. Not that she has the money for it anyway, “Oh, these plants are adorable.“

Much to her astonishment, Peter laughs behind her. Worried that it might not actually be him who let out the chuckle, she whirls her head around to see now change in his appearance or behavior. He’s simply leaning against a chair, looking at her like she’s an interesting specimen he hasn’t seen in a while. Which, to be fair, is probably the reality.

“You’re probably the only person who can find anything adorable about this house.“ He says as an explanation to his reaction, which in turn causes her to giggle as she steps away from the plants.

“Us demonologists are always surrounded with negative energy. We need to battle it any way we can - and that includes finding joy in little things and admiring their beauty.“ Estra explains as the two roam the lower level of the house after which he guides her up the stairs.

Halfway up the staircase, however, he stops in front of her. She can’t see his face but the tightening of his grip on the banister tells her enough for her to reach for the pocket knife she’s armed herself with.

Luckily, she doesn’t get around to using it, since Peter relaxes and continues his way up the stairs, continuing their conversation as if nothing happened, leading her to wonder if he even noticed he tapped out for a second there.

“So you’re like an actual demonologist?“ He nudges her, a question that’d usually annoy her but it now makes her laugh.

“I consider myself a VIP in the paranormal investigation industry, so yes, I am an actual demonologist.“ She replies, putting extra emphasis on ‘actual’ like he did when phrasing his question.

Peter chuckles, “Aren’t I lucky to have such a professional at my service.”

“You definitely are lucky to have been caught by our radar.“ Estra tells him as the two walk down the corridor, underneath the spot on the ceiling where the infamous door that leads to that God forsaken attic of terror should be. At this moment, it’s probably just a regular attic and so is that tree house the girl just caught a glimpse of through the window they passed by, but the memories in them still make them a horrifying place to be.

Peter shows Estra to the bedrooms, something she sees as a surprise considering he would’ve only felt comfortable showing her his since, well, you know, the other two belong to people who are no longer alive.

“Ok, I’m gonna address the elephant in the room: First of all, I’d take you to the attic but I had it sealed, which I’m sure you guessed by now?“ He pauses for a brief moment, looking to his left and out the window through which Estra earlier saw the tree house. He too spots it, his heart dropping like he’s seeing it for the first time in his life, like it just randomly appeared on his property. “Second....would you even want to have a look at the treehouse with all the shit you know?

Once again playing the ‘unbothered’ card, Estra shrugs her shoulders to distract herself from the churning of her stomach, “If you’re ok taking me there, I’m ok seeing it.”

That was the bittersweet answer Peter didn’t even know he had been hoping for this entire time. He’s glad he can finally open up about the mess that his life has been turned into, but he’s also afraid of reliving it through the telling of the tale. Because that’s what it seems like to everyone else: a scary story to tell in the dark. Luckily for him though, to her, it seems as much of a reality as it is to him.

He nods solemnly, tilting his head to tell her to follow suit which she does without any hesitation. As the two begin their descent down the staircase, Peter can no longer stand the silence so he decides to break it, “What got you into this stuff, anyway?”

Now that is a question she hates even more than the one questioning her authenticity in the field. It’s a very basic question that people with her job often get asked. But to her, the story of what drew her to this spiritual, supernatural crap is not an easy one to tell.

“A family tragedy too, I’m afraid.“ She hides her pain with a humorless chuckle, “The pastor that came to cleanse our house of the demon that was roaming it turned out to be a Satan worshipper. You know, just a casual, every-day Satanist, because of course that’s normal. Long story short: my dad got possessed and he killed my little brother; I killed that fucking bastard of a reverend and my mom took the fall. Her and dad are in jail and my older sister who witnessed it all is now in a mental institution.“ Having said all that in less than two breaths, Estra rightfully stops to take a breather before delivering the closing line right as they make it to the tree house, “I just wanna prevent that shit from happening to anyone else....I’m sorry I didn’t make it to your family on time.“

“Don’t apologize. They...we were beyond any help.“ He sighs as they climb up in the small treehouse, the floor of which they still find littered with some of Charlie’s belongings.

The two sit on the opposite ledges of the small opening to the latter, unable to take their eyes off one another, although Peter has a hard time maintaining eye contact with the girl which is why she averts his gaze when he hears her inhale sharply, suggesting she has something to say.

“But you aren’t Peter. You can still be helped.“

Estra too now turns her head away from him, choosing to pay more attention on her surroundings in this small but still not at all cramped space. It’s cozy, the perfect place for a child to envision as their castle. She’s sure Brian would have loved it. She had always promised him a tree house but they never got around to building one. They were, however, champions at building pillow and blanket forts which Brian was equally satisfied with.

Now she really regrets not shoving that tree house into her schedule. Now she’ll never have a chance.

Just then, a rough grip on her arm startles her out of her thoughts. Her head snaps back to Peter and she nearly jumps out of her skin at the sight of his blank face and darkened eyes.

That ain’t Peter.

“Is that so?“ The voice still is his but with a menacing tone she sure this frail boy could never muster, “You think he isn’t beyond help? Want me to prove you wrong?“

Estra’s frozen, watching in horror as the possessed boy in front of her smiles terrifyingly at her, the bruising grip not allowing her to have a chance at an escape. But then, a tear rolls down the boy’s cheek, some emotion returning to his eyes.

“Run.” He fights with the force he feels for the first time, a feeling so overwhelmingly painful but also comforting. It makes him feel as though he at least now isn’t a helpless victim. He can fight back, just like he’s doing right now. For her. “Go!!”

In the time Peter’s soul takes charge of his body again before Paimon could take the wheel, he let go of Estra’s arm. 

The girl, although reluctantly, still begins her climb down but doesn’t make it even close to the end before simply jumping down and taking off running.

And running and running until she stops for a moment to throw up and realize she hasn’t only run miles away from the Graham estate, but from anything she could possibly use as a landmark to orient herself.

Ruffling through her bag in search of her phone, she finds the voice recorder instead. She stops the recording and grabs her phone to order herself an Uber which thankfully is able to locate her. She finds a log that in this case she sees as a perfectly fitting chair and takes a seat, hesitantly looking at the voice recorder before pressing the play button to hear what it’s captured.

It’s all old news to her - nothing unusual, no paranormal entities speaking into the thing, no sounds she doesn’t remember hearing. Nothing. A waste of time and effort on Damien’s expense.

Until the incident in the tree house occurs.

Their casual conversation as well as her words of sympathy and comfort for Peter are captured without a hitch but when Paimon took the stage, nothing was heard. No voice, no sounds of nature, nothing. Just like what happened to the audio on the way up the stairs to the second floor of the house when she saw the boy switch back and forth right in front of her.

Estra might’ve been exaggerating when she called herself a VIP and when she referred to her sister as weak because of how she dealt, or rather didn’t deal with the situation; regardless, she knows she’s not insane. She knows she didn’t just imagine that. And if the bruise on her arm is anything to go by, she’s completely correct.

She puts the phone up to her ear, listening to it ring a few times before the call is picked up, “Hey Es.” 

“Hey Dam sorry to wake you up at this hour but...“

“Wake me up? At what hour, 3 PM?“ Damien asks, hiding his worry and fear behind faux amusement, “Is everything ok, Estra? You need me to come get you?“

That’s when she realizes, it’s not night. It never was. She just failed to notice that the five minutes she was up in the tree house changed the entire time of day - she entered it during the early afternoon and exited it in the dark of some time past midnight. Except, that’s not what happened. She entered and exited it in a matter of five minutes. Why she saw a dark night and why she didn’t question it is what now sends a tear rolling down her own cheek.

“What’d he do to me?“