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lovelybkg · 4 years ago

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protective | t.s.

pairing : todoroki shoto x gn!reader

request by @pocky-writes : how about a soft yandere todoroki who likes to spoil his sweetheart, and at first they don't like it until he scolds them and tells them that if they don't accept the spoils, he won't give them anything else. smuggle in some praise from him at the end too?? <33

note : wanted to write protective shoto, and i thought the request kinda fit so i decided to add it ! sorry if it isn’t the main story D:

warnings : very protective behavior, reader is kinda childish and sensitive, slight manipulation

you woke up to an empty bed, devoid of the usual gucci and other designer brands packages shoto left for you. you let out a sigh of relief, thinking he finally listened to you and stopped sending you so much expensive stuff. surely, you didn’t need all those gowns and designer bags. hell, you don’t even go out! were you supposed to wear those fancy clothes in your small apartment? upon telling him about this, he offered to let you move in with him in his penthouse. as if.

you love him, you really do. but he just has to listen to you sometimes! you don’t want him wasting so much money on you! he’s already paying for your college tuitions, that’s already too much. whenever you tried to tell him to stop, he just shuts you up with a chuckle and a kiss on your forehead, telling you not to worry about it.

opening your phone, the 27 unread messages from him didn’t even phase you. he did have the tendency to send you a lot of text, most of them to check up on you. you knew how much it bothered him not being able to meet you often because of hero work, that’s why you were so understanding of his protectiveness and clinginess. he’s just worried, after all. you sent him a good morning text, proceeding to answer all of his questions as to avoid making him worry. he does get fussy when you don’t reply to his texts quickly.

then you remember the plan you made with your friends to go out later that afternoon. you knew there was no way shoto would let you go, he doesn’t really allow you to go out much anymore. you understand though, he just wants to keep you safe! but maybe he’ll let you this time? before you can carefully plan how you’ll ask for permission, your phone flashes with an incoming phone call from him.

his deep voice greets you as soon as you answer the call, “good morning, my love”

“good morning, sho! are you at the agency?” he couldn’t help but smile at the enthusiastic way you greeted him. you were just so cute! he feels all his stress melting away by just hearing your voice.

the conversation went on for about an hour. he tells you about how stressful his morning was, with the new interns messing up during patrol and how dynamight couldn’t control his temper in front of the media again, which ended with him having to take care of everything with the agency’s pr department. you wanted to know more about his day, but he quickly changed the subject, instead asking you about how your sleep was. were the new pillows he bought you comfortable? how about the cotton silk pajamas? did you wear them? upon answering yes, he asked you for a picture. you quickly sent him one, fixing your hair before doing so.

“you look adorable, baby. do you like them? i’ll buy you more once i have the time” before you could protest, he changed the subject again as if he knew you were going to refuse.

“what are your plans for today? i don’t think i can visit you today, it’s quite busy here at the agency. maybe you could read the new books i bought you, or just rest and take naps for the whole day. also, don’t forget to take care of yourself. i left my credit card there so you can order food, okay?” suddenly being reminded of your plans by his question, you braced yourself for what you were going to say next.

softly calling out his name, he hums as if asking you to go on. what were you so nervous about? he knows you get quiet when you want to ask him for something, he just wishes you would stop being so shy. after all, he would give you anything your little heart desired.

“can i go out with my friends tonight? please? i promise i’ll be home by ten!” you practically squeaked out with how nervous you were. it’s as if you could hear your heart beating out of your chest with the silence that followed your question. why isn’t he talking? is he upset at you?

“no” his voice was cold now, quickly replacing the doting tone he was speaking to you in earlier.

“w- why? it’s safe! there’ll be six of us so there’s no way i’ll get hurt! please, sho, just this once? i haven’t seen my friends in so long” your voice started to crack, a sign you were close to crying.

“i said no, baby. so stop arguing, alright?” you started crying now, all he could hear from the phone was your soft sniffles before you hang up on him.

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

you woke up with a headache and a strong arm wrapped around your waist. as you begin to panic, you realize it’s just shoto next to you due to the scent of mint and expensive cologne that practically engulfed your room.

remembering what happened a few hours ago, you felt tears well up in your eyes again. you didn’t even notice you fell asleep. you hugged him tightly and buried your face in his chest, startling him.

“im sorry sho!” you blurted out. you snuggled further into his chest, refusing to look at him. you didn’t wanna see his face! he’s so scary when he’s angry!

quickly recovering from his shock, he started rubbing your back softly as he reassured you that he wasn’t upset at all. he readjusted your position, forcing you to look up “im not mad at you baby, but i am glad you know what you did was wrong. i just want to protect you, you understand right?”

you nodded your head yes as you tell him you love him too. of course you did, shoto took good care of you. he does everything for you, the least you could do is listen to what he says! after all, he knows what’s best for you.

he gives you a kiss on your forehead before smiling softly at you, “you were crying, weren’t you? i’m sorry baby, but i’ll make it up to you. we’ll go shopping later, alright? i’ll buy you whatever you want”

you whined out a no, puffing out your cheeks like a child. he seriously needs to stop spending money on you, you didn’t deserve it!

as if reading your thoughts, he rushed to reassure you “why not? baby, let me spoil you. you deserve it,” you know you don’t deserve it. you’re already so lucky, being able to date him, knowing millions of other people wish they were in your place. what can you even give him in return?

“shouuuu” you whined, “you already give me so much! and i can’t even give you anything in return. i dont deserve you” you pouted, showing your clear displeasure of his insistence on spoiling you.

he let out a light chuckle, face laced with amusement from what you said. his naive baby, why can’t you understand that he wants to do this? he loves you, you’re his sweetheart, and he’s going to take care of you. he’ll give you the entire world if he could, it’s what you deserve.

“i don’t expect anything in return, my love. and i’m the one who doesn’t deserve you. you’re the sweetest baby anyone could ask for, i’m very lucky to be able to call you mine”

the writing is kinda choppy, especially the conversations dhshs im sorry! D:

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gayspock · 3 years ago

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do you have any fashion tips or at least any tips on how to properly research it because im trying to get more into it but i have no idea how to figure out like what looks nice to begin with or how to style anything and every time i try to look myself i just get corporate articles trying to trick me into buying their expensive plain white shirts and idk i like your fashion sense so do you got anything

omg... flattered that ur asking me but honestly!! idk if i have any tips? personally i just kinda wear whatever i want omg 😁 i guess, like- (i'll put this under a read more?)

1. dont feel pressured to overhaul ur whole wardrobe at once or anythin like that. not just bc its mad expensive to drop a load of money like that, but honestly sometimes its just easier to feel out what u might like/dislike by going gradually. take an outfit u wear already and find sth new to add to it, for example. or sth to swap out to make it more ur own. also keeps it more dynamic- bc honestly... u will change with time, and u can overhaul ur whole wardrobe in one go but even if u rlly love it, give it a year or two and its likely its likely ur needs will change. not even just wrt style or whatever. but ik i bought a load of jumpers at once before and i barely wear jumpers any more!!! bc i get too warm nowadays and i feel suffocated in them - when i didnt before.

2. ^ carrying off of tht, i think its always useful to have some "staple" stuff, thats Sound. nice jeans that you feel comfortable in and fit well and plain shirts. you can layer them with whatever new stuff u wanna experiment with and if all fails u can go back to them. honestly if im not feelin sth loud i'll just wear jeans and a shirt i like and then wear a necklace and earrings that match and it looks put together.

3. look at other ppl's styles and dont copy them entirely but think abt wht u like and take elements of them and adapt. even if its a style completely different to urs. if u like it take the idea and remix.

4. when it comes to getting new clothes... personally i literally get like. 90% of my stuff secondhand. depop and charity shops, mostly. depop you do have to be wary with and yah it can suck on there. try to avoid putting money into scalpers' pockets (tho at the end of the day... better than a larger company, tbf) but yeah. theres other second hand online stores too that u can explore and it can take some searchin but u can find rlly nice things in there, cheaper than if u bought em straight from the shops. and with charity shops tbh just pop in whenever ur bored around town bc u never kno when u see sth nice.

5. also whenever u go to buy sth. try to imagine how you would wear it and what with. if you'd need sth else to go with it, or if you have the stuff to compliment it already; if its comfortable and practical, etc... just so u dont buy sth you'll regret. stuff can be unique looking and rlly pull you but if it is gonna just end up in the bottom of ur closet, ur gonna feel like ass and you've wasted money.

6. anyways once you've managed to integrate more specific stuff u like into ur wardrobe, then i think u can just build more on that from there over time. like if u got a rlly nice top and you've just been pairing it with the same jeans for a while, and now you know for sure ur gonna wear it a lot bc you have done so arleady, you can buy sth that might more specifically match with it and kinda build more outfits like that. :3 dont feel to boxed into wearin specific stuff with specific stuff, tho- sometimes if u just throw two random pieces u didnt think would work together, they can work together... tht happens to me a lot omg.

sorry if this is wordy!!! honestly im rlly NOT. fashionable-fashionable if u kno what i mean like idk a lot abt fashion! i just put stuff on that im personally into, and vibe. but i think honestly at the end of the day thts what you're gonna be happiest in! so... 😁

#egg yells back

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bucciaratizippers · 4 years ago

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Genre: slight NSFW i guess

Pairing: Pannacotta Fugo x reader

Summary: Reader comes home to see Fugo alseep in bed and moaning her name, having a very good dream.

Word count: 1409

A/N: so hello there my ppl so this is my first Smut so i hope its not cringey i just u all end up loving it so ye if ur a softie and cant stand lemons then skip to the next chapter.

⚠️About Request⚠️

Also i do take requests so if u wanna send me a repuest u must do these following things

The name of character

What genre

And what scenario

Thats all love u all.

AutherChan6

(*˘︶˘*).｡.:*♡

You were on your way home as you walked past a nice takeaway restaurant. It was so bright thata you had to squint you eyes to see the name of the take away restaurant.

And to be honest you were feeling kinda hungry so it wouldnt hurt if you got some fod for you and your boyfriend.

Yes thats right you have a boyfriend. His name was Pannacotta Fugo. You two basically just moved un together and have been dating for 2 years now.

As you wantes to step into the restaurant your phone started ringing.

You let out a sight and run your hand through your hair as you picked up your phone.

"Hello"

"Hey sweetie how are you doing" your boyfriend answers from the other side of rhe phone.

"Nothing much, just tought i would buy some some Chinese takeaway for us ....that is if you wa-"

"OFCOURSE I WOULD LOVE CHINESE TAKEAWAY, I HAVENT HAVE THAT IN LIKE YEARS" he yells in excitement.

"Just needed to check on you feeling really tired right now, so please hurry so i wouldnt have to be worried that your still out here alone."

"Okay, okay im on my way i will see you soon"

And like that you hung up.

You entered the store, bought some food for you and your boyfriend, paid then left the store happly.

You open the front door to the hause you and Fugo shared but to your surprise it was very quiet.

Fugo didnt show himself nor appeared infront of the door to greet you and give you huggs like he would normally do.

You found this strange but then later considered that he was asleep.

You walked all the way trough the hallway into the kitchen.

You droped the food you bought on the counter as you went upstairs to wake up Fugo.

"Fugo!!"

No sound so you yelld again.

"Fugo!!"

Again not a single noise.

Later you gave up and headed your way up the stairs .

As you got closer and closer to the room door you heard some voices. Something close to whimpering maybe?

"Fugo? Is that you?"

You called as you tip toed closer to the room door. Slowly you open the door to find a already asleep Fugo in his bed.

You sigh in relief know there wasnt a stranger in your house. It was just your boyfriend sleeping.

But then you were 100% sure you heard something that soiunded like whimpering.

In that moment you heard him.

"[Y/N]~ hmmm"

You open your mouth in shock. Aas your boyfriend dreaming about you?

Right here? Right now?

"Ahh mh..mm [Y/N]~ your to good....for m.e.ee"

There again. He was moaning.

You tip toed closer to him and he was asleep ofcourse but to your surprise you see that there was a tent built around his groin area.

You look in shook. Between your thighs beginning to heat up just by the sight of your boyfriend's erection.

You let out a snall moan as you touch your self. Trying to create friction between your legs.

"Wait i wanted to wake Fugo up right? So why not wake him up in a very special way huh?"

You tought to your self.

You slowly make your way onto yhe bed trying not to wake him up immediately in the process.

You lean closer to his face and place some small tender kisses on his cheek. From his cheek you make your way to his jawline and place also small tender kisses there too.

You continue to loave a trail of hickeys on his neck while your other hand glides down his chest.

It goes down futher south untill it reached its destination. You palmed his erection through his sweat pants as Fugo lets out a queit groan.

It was musuic to your ears.

Slowly you began to trace the outline on his erection until you felt him twitch under your touch. You let out a small moan as you couldnt hold it in anymore.

You sat down in the position where your legs were on each side of Fugo's hips, hands on his chest.

You grinded onto his groin and let out another moan. Enjoying the feeling you were having.

Just then Fugo wakes up suprised to see you gindjng unto him.

But hey he wasn't complaining about it.

Out of instinct he bucked his hip into your heated core, his erection craving to be touched.

"Mmhm Fugo mhhm~~"

You moaned loudly.

Fugo ler out a smirk as he stared at you.

He quickly turns the tables by turning around you now under beneath him.

Before you could say anything you were stoped by a heated and desperate kiss. He licked against your bottom lip asking for entrance.

You want to taese him so you dont five him the permission to enter.

Fugo then grabs one of your breasts, you being startled by this lets out a little squeak ofcourse letting your guard down. He takes the advantage to slip his toung into your mouth.

The kiss becomes needy and more needy as the both of you are having a heated makeout session.

He breaks the kiss for some air and theen goes for your neck leaving small hickeys here and there.

You moan and whimper under his touch. Your hands snake around Fugo's neck.

Fugo quickly pulls of the t-shirts your wearing along with your pants. Now left with only a panties and a bra.

Onthe other hand you only manage to pull of his top he was wearing gliding your hands along his well toned abs.

Fugo unbuckles yiur bra, taking one breast in one hand teasing it and taking the other breast jnto his mouth.

His tounge swirls around your nipple arousing you.

"Mmhh ahh Fugo i need you right now mhhmm~~"

He stops to look at you. He looks at you deep in the eyes before replying.

"What is it you want darling?"

He says with a smirk.

"I need uhhhgg..... i need you~~"

"You've got to be more specific darling"

You gathered the strength you needed and then told him..

"Ahhh i need your thick cock to strech my tight wet little pussy ahh mmmm~~

Please daddy fill me up with your delicious cum mhhmm~~"

Fugo wasted no time pulling of ypur panties and flinging it to a random corner in the room along with pulling his sweat pants and boxer briefs.

As his dick sprung out you became more impatient and became a moaning mess aunder him.

Begging himm to slide his thick shaft into your tight walls.

He gives himself some strokes then aligns himself infront of your entrance.

Slowly he enters into you bit by bit. Once he is fully in he lets you adjust to his size before slowly pounding into you.

You moan like crazy, unable to control yourself at the moment.

He pickes up his pace as he pounds into you mercilessly and leans down to whisper sweet nothings into your ear.

Saying how good you make him feel, How he feels like putty right now, how tight your walls are squeezing him to how beautiful you look under him.

As Fugo hits your G Spot you immediately moan out his name.

"FUGO!"

"Fuck [Y/N]"

You both cursed as you both chased your orgasm yor nails digged into Fugo's back as you felt your orgasm getting nearer and nearer.

Finally you came on Fugo's cock and Fugo coming immediately after.

He fell right beside you and instantly hugged you. Bringing you as close as possible.

You also being exhausted embrace him to you whosper to him...

"ti amo"

"ti amo anch'io"

The both of you drifted to sleep.

The Chinese takeaway totally forgotten

#pannacotta_fugo #fugo smut #fugo x reader #pannacotta fugo #jjba imagine #jjba smut #pannacotta fugo headcanon #jojo part 5 #jojo no kimyō na bōken #l #ove my readers

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bunnywrites · 4 years ago

Note

AHHH OMG WHAT A CUTE ASK MEME I'M ALREADY SCREAMING💍 - adrian x dove 💍 sophie x milo 💍 liam x grace 💍 madison x wyatt

don't feel like you have to answer everything for all of them but ah!!! ILY

ILYSM ur the real mvp for always sending these <3

💍 adrian x dove

where they get married:

they’re totally having a beach wedding, for sure!!

when they get married ( ie what time of day, what month and season etc. ):

Ok, hear me out. A summer wedding on the beach at sunset. Maybe in June/July

what their wedding cake looks like:

they def wouldn’t have like a hug wedding cake, i feel like they would keep it pretty simply tbh!! maybe they even decorate it themselves (with the help of baby annie too!!)

….who smashes cake into whose face:

adrian totally would and dove would smash her piece of cake into his smug face right after and they would probably let annie smash cake in both of their faces too

who proposed to who first:

i think adrian !!!

who walks down the aisle and who waits at the altar

baby annie walks down as a flower girl and then waits next to her dad who’s at the altar and then comes dove look like a rl angel

what their wedding dresses / suits / other look like

since it’s a beach wedding, i imagine them in v casual clothing?? like nothing super fancy at all.

what their vows are ( eg poetry, traditional, improvised etc. )

i’m crying just thinking about them sharing their vows wow. i imagine since dove kinda write out her feelings in her journals that she maybe wrote a poem about him in there somewhere and she would share with him during their ceremony. and then probably just go into more depth over how much she adores him and AAAH my heart

who cries first during the ceremony

oof, this one is a hard one!! but i think maybe adrian?? when he sees dove walking down the aisle?? and then she sees him crying and it causes her to start tearing up lmao

where they go for their honeymoon

IF i remember correctly i think adrian asked her where she wanted to go once and she said italy and so i feel like he would totally make that happen for their honeymoon !!

who gives who away as they walk down the aisle

since her mom will have passed away already dove would probably be given away by her aunt !

💍 sophie x milo

where they get married:

i totally see these two lovebird randomly deciding to get married right in the moment. they would totally be the kind to go to vegas and get married!

what their wedding cake looks like:

honestly since it’s all last minute they would probably have ice cream cake that they bought from a local grocery store or something LOL

….who smashes cake into whose face:

since it’s ice cream cake i don’t think they would smash it into each other’s face, but they would probably slide it down each other’s backs or something lmao

who proposed to who first:

oof man ok i think tbh at one point milo will be the one to say “fuck our family who cares what they think lets get married rn” cause he would probably be so sick of trying to continuously prove to them that he’s right for their daughter when he knows he is!!

who walks down the aisle and who waits at the altar:

milo totally waits at the alter with his new best bro liam by his side and grace walks down the aisle too before getting on the bride’s side of the alter and then GORGEOUS BABY SOPHIE COMES DOWN

what their wedding dresses / suits / other look like:

so painfully casual it hurts. honestly i could see milo getting married in an mf tuxedo shirt LOLOL

what their vows are:

super improvised for sure but completely from the heart!!

who’s in the bridal parties / groomsmen / other:

their new besties!! grace is soph’s maid of honor probs and liam would totally be milo’s best man

who gives speeches at the reception:

i feel like liam would def give a speech if he was drunk enough lmao and it would be very sweet and funny tbh. milo would def give a speech about how much he loves soph and he would probably try to make it super funny but then he becomes a total sap at the end!

what their wedding photos are like:

the silliest ever! a bunch of selfies on their phones and polaroids. i imagine grace filming all of it too on a camera and editing the footage to make milo and soph their very own wedding video!

what sort of food they have at the reception:

they would literally all just go out for burgers probably lmao

how wild their reception gets ( who dances the best, who gets drunk first, etc. ):

they would probably go out to some club to celebrate afterwards! milo is def dancing all kinds of weird from how wasted he is, but he’s having the time of his life. sophie is living for it, of course, and is even getting pretty rowdy herself, which we love to see. i feel like liam would be the one to keep buying drinks and making everybody take shots with him, especially milo lmao. grace would probably be sitting at the bar with her drink and smoking a joint before liam pulls her to the dance floor and forces her to dance with him

what their rings are like:

they would probably get the cheapest rings they could for the moment, but milo would def surprise with a diamond ring after he saves up enough money.

where they go for their honeymoon:

i feel like since they got married in vegas they would just honeymoon there too!!

who officiates the ceremony:

an elvis impersonator DUH

💍 liam x grace

where they get married:

ok so!! i totally see liam wanting to make this one of the most special days ever for grace cause that’s just the kinda guy he is. and so maybe one of her favorite movie theaters is going out of business or something. so, before they demolish it, he rents the entire thing out and decorates it with twinkle lights and makes it all beautiful to have their ceremony there.

when they get married:

CHRISTMAS TIME since their first interaction was at a christmas party

what their wedding cake looks like:

i see them having just a bunch of cupcakes made to look like a cake as a wedding cake, that way anyone can just grab one as a snack before they go watch their movie

….who smashes cake into whose face:

grace would totally smash her cupcake in liam’s face and laugh so hard while doing it and i totally see liam just stuff his in her mouth to shut her up lmfaoo

who proposed to who first:

oh god i totally see liam proposing one day!! and just v casually too!! no big gesture or anything just like “i think i wanna marry you” lmao idk he seems like the type

who walks down the aisle and who waits at the altar:

liam totally waits for her and grace walks down to her favorite romantic film score

what their wedding dresses / suits / other look like:

i think they def would dress up! but still nothing majorly fancy!! i can see liam in a casual suit and tie while grace wears a really simple white dress and maybe a flower crown to accessorize!

what their wedding colour scheme is and what sort of decor they have:

i feel like they would have a black and white color scheme tbh!!

what their vows are ( eg poetry, traditional, improvised etc. ):

grace would probably have a movie already set up that she would play on the big screen and it would be all about their relationship and new life that they started together and basically it’s just a collection of moments that made her fall in love with him !!

what sort of food they have at the reception:

all the movie snacks you can choose from, plus some take out that they would probably order in lmaooo

who officiates the ceremony:

i feel like milo would totally offer to officiate their wedding and be so excited over it too lmao

what song their first dance is to:

def the first song that liam ever wrote about grace !! maybe he starts off by performing it and then someone takes over so they can dance together i crY

💍 madison x wyatt

where they get married:

i def see their wedding to be more classic/traditional. i dont think they would get married in a church, but they would probably go to a beautiful garden or something. after everything wyatt put this girl thru he is going to make sure she has the wedding of her dreams lmao

when they get married:

probably during the spring!! it’s a metaphor!! it’s a fresh start !! a new beginning!!

what their wedding cake looks like:

probs v big and fancy with a cute little wedding topper on the top ofc

who proposed to who first:

dude i feel like maddie would be too scared to even consider proposing LOLOL after all the pain he caused her!!! so i def think wyatt would be the one

who walks down the aisle and who waits at the altar:

wyatt waits at the alter with madison’s brother by his side and maddie walks down the aisle arm-in-arm with her father and it is the most beautiful thing EVER

what their wedding dresses / suits / other look like:

we FANCY!!!!! this is probably the best wyatt is ever going to dress tbh

what flowers are in the bouquet:

probably some white roses to match her pretty white dress

what their vows are ( eg poetry, traditional, improvised etc. ):

i think v traditional. wyatt would def have to write them down because he would not be able to formulate words since he will be dumbfounded by madison’s beauty!!

if anyone’s late to the wedding:

maybe wyatt’s running late because of SOMETHING (we can plan later heheheh) and that causes madison to start freaking out and thinking that he’s leaving her at the alter but in reality he’s doing all he can to get there on time!

who gives speeches at the reception:

maddie’s brother most def! and maybe her dad!! his will probably be nice, short and wholesome tho

what their wedding photos are like:

i feel like they would have a mix of everything! they’d have an actual photographer taking pictures and then a photobooth set up to take random/silly pictures with props and ofc they will probably be taking all kinds of pictures on their phones

who cries first during the ceremony:

tbh wyatt would have to look away from madison at first when she’s walking down the aisle cause he starts getting teary-eyed

where they go for their honeymoon:

wyatt would probably take her to the place she find most romantic, a part of me wants to say paris but i also dont know if thats just because of emily in paris lmaooo

who gives who away as they walk down the aisle:

madison’s dad gives her away and he probably looks so happy and full of nothing but love for his daughter !

#dove x adrian #milo x sophie #grace x liam #wyatt x madison

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aestrophilia · 5 years ago

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What To Do During Quarantine

With all the stuff going on lately, I think we all deserve to pamper ourselves and show some love to ourselves. However, some cities are under quarantine while some are on lockdown. At this moment, it’s best to just stay at home to protect ourselves and our loved ones.

But staying at home and doing nothing can be boring too, don’t you think?

Fear not, because I got you lovelies! Here are some tips and ideas regarding what to do at home during the quarantine.

1. Movie Marathon or Netflix and chill

This is the time for you watch or catch up on your favorite series. Watch new movies or re-watch your favorites. Watch Disney movies, catch up on Friends, see new episodes of your favorite series, binge up on KDramas.

Highly recommend Hotel Del Luna, Crash Landing On You, Umbrella Academy, Money Heist, Brooklyn 99, and The Good Place.

But of course, not everyone has Netflix. Or you’re probably done catching up on whatever series you’re hung up on. Again, I gotchu covered loves!

2. Read a book

This is something that I really appreciate because I wasn’t able to read often when the 2nd semester of my school started. I was kinda busy, but now, I try to finish a book within two days lol.

Anyways, if you’re a bookaholic, this is the time for you to reread your fave books or to read new books. While, if you’re interested on making reading books as your new hobby, feel free to visit my book reviews page here for some book suggestions.

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*TIP*

You may try your like and search for “google drive name of book/movie/audiobook”. Sometimes you’ll find what you’re looking for and sometimes, better search for another one.

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3. Organize things, clean room, declutter

Another thing that you could do is to clean your home, your room, organize your stuffs… Maybe you could remove the things that you no longer use and sell or donate them. You could also remove your old make up like the expired ones. You could also take this time to clean your make up brushes and sponges.

4. Feeling artsy or inspired?

Get a paper or a notebook and write down your thoughts. Maybe you could write new poems or a novel if you wish. Maybe you could also create a song. You could also grab you sketch and your art materials and maybe do some drawing or painting.

If you have Adobe Illustrator, Lightroom, or Photoshop, maybe you could also do some digital artworks. Take some shots of your pets or whatever you want and get creative with photography. Pretty sure there are so much more apps out there that you could try to express you ideas and creativity, don’t be afraid to try.

5. Get Creative Part 2

Wanna try new make up hacks or new styles? Grab your brushes and your make ups and experiment! Immitating IG filters is trendy nowadays and perhaps you might wanna try those as well. Or maybe you wanna try that new eyeshadow that you bought or perhaps you just wanna try on a different look, go ahead and waste no time! Remember: blending is the key!

Or what about trying on new outfits? Mix and match clothes that you haven’t tried before perhaps you’ll like it. Maybe you could also search for moodboards online regarding the style you like. You could also create yours too.

6. Workout and Yoga

Is your local gym close? Grab your mat (it’s also fine if you don’t have), and try for some yoga or meditate if you want. You may also do some workout routine. There are a lot of workout routines that you can find online like in Youtube or you may download it on Google Play or in App Store.

Find one that works for you and of course, be careful and do some warm ups to avoid injuries :)

7. Game time!

Still bored? Again, I gotchu lovelies!

Spend more time with your loved ones by playing jenga, UNO cards, poker, scrabble, chess, and other board games. If you know unggoy-ungguyan you may play it as well. Of course the classic truth or dare game is one of the options.

Games like color game, monopoly, and other board games can be downloaded online so if you don’t have the physical board game, you can still play it by installing the app. Twister is also another good idea to play with your family.

8. TIK TOK

Are you part of the Tik Tok Nation yet? Well, if not, it’s not too late for you to be a part of it. And if you don’t want too, it’s also fine. Sooner or later you’ll also be a part of it as well just like those who claimed they wont be

Anyway, there are many dance moves in Tik Tok and some cool content as well.

9. Bake/Cook

If you have enough supplies or materials, maybe you could also bake or cook. Try a new recipe, perfect your favorite dish, or create something new.

Another option is to cook for our front liners or for those who are in need, only if you want to or if you have enough supplies to do so.

10. Communicate with people who are special to you

Just because we’re advised to stay inside doesn’t mean that relationships will be canceled, friendships will be canceled, or living life will be canceled. Take this time to focus on your self and communicate with people that are special to you.

Call a friend, ask them if they’re okay. Reunite with people you no longer talk to. And remember: you don’t have to reunite with those you already cut in your life. You dont have to bring back people who are once toxic to you.

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That’s all for this blog post loves! See you all on my post! xoxo

You may click here for more posts.

Stay safe and healthy lovelies! Don’t forget to practice social distancing and observe proper hygiene.

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sarcasm-is-my-native-tounge · 5 years ago

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Adventures in running a table at a charity bazaar

Day 1

-Lady bitching abt how the younger generation is wasteful and just throws everything away... Uhhh okay lol

-As i was carrying a VERY large tote full of books this man walks by with an EMPTY hand truck and says "wow that looks heavy" and walks off. I might kill a man today.

-Two ladies running a pyramid scheme for shitty makeup. "Yeah it's $50 for like a drop of anti-age serum but if you get your friends to invest too it ends up really cheap! Do you and your friends have credit cards?" Yeah ok.

-One lady actually made some super cute christmas decorations I hope good things happen to her she is v nice

-One of the same ladies who is running the pyramid scheme keeps telling me to smile and i am going to SNAP

-Lady in the kitchen kept getting distracted (its really not her fault, people kept going in there and talking to her) and it took her 45 minutes to slap some meat and cheese on some bread for me and i am STARVING HOLY FUCK HURRY UP

-Had to lug a 50lb sandwich board 3 blocks to the main intersection by myself whilst being slapped in the face by several balloons and couldn't see

-My grandmas neighbor has COTTON CANDY HERE AND I WANT SOME

-Other pyramid scheme lady is super nice tho I feel bad she is trapped in that

-No one is fucking hereeee

-Seriously though I kinda really want some cotton candyyyyy

-Old man in the kitchen made some bomb ass homemade chili and its delicous but its not really agreeable with my stomach sooooo i might buy some before i go home

-I doubt I'm getting paid for any of this bullshit and that's fine i guess

-The. Most. Umcomfortable. Chairs. In. Existence.

-At least this provides a distraction from my job interview on Tuesday 😬

-During set up last night, there were a couple kids doing a karate class and when they were done they were super sweet and helped us move tables and such and i heard one of them go DISGUSTANG really loud in an echoey room full of old ladies and I felt my soul leave my body. Teenagers are fuckin amazing

-Man looking through some prints I'm selling. Other lady wants to look too, she asks him to pull the stack he already looked through bc he has been there for like 5 minutes. "Well You can just wait" he says. Another 5 minutes later he is finally done. This lady has had to sit down bc she can't stand too long. He goes "there ya go. Didnt kill ya now did it?" What a fucking dick

-My grandmas neighbor has a hoodie that says Winchester on it and i figured it was like the place or something but as she walked by i noticed that in fact it said Sam and Dean on the bottom and i dont know what to do with this information now

-One vendor brought her dog and his name is Russel Wilson its SO CUTE

-Theres this home made Rudolph... Thing that just keeps staring at me. It is very cursed and i hate it

-God everyone who shows up is either an old lady or a crackhead

-The one crackhead woman was really nice though. I hope she does well

-Every vendor's phone is so fuckin loud what is with boomers i stg

-One lady. Made tote bags. Out of bags of horse feed. Whyyyy

-Evidently as I walked away from my grandma and someone she was talking to, that person was like "oh my goodness she has such pretty hair" which made me feel rly nice thank you embroidery woman

-Oh god that chili smells so good

-Someone brought doughnuts fuuuuuuck

-Im gonna blow all my gas money on food guys god dammit

-I wish it wouldn't be considered rude to watch netflix rn

-Thank fuck the bitch pyramid scheme lady left

-ADORABLE SMALL CHILDREN

Oh my GOD they were so cute my HEART. One little girl saw this halloween decoration and giggled really hard and said "eyeballsss" it was SO FUCKING CUTE. "Can i have a baf boom?" (Bath bomb) Im gonna cryyyy. Those girls have their dad wrapped around their fingers oh my Lord.

-I bought the chili. Burnt the shit outta my mouth. No regrets.

-1pm rolls around and fuckin no one is showing up. I wanna watch TWD dammit

-Vendor lady's sister's purse got stolen outta her shopping cart today apparently Awh 😕

-Now everyone is swapping attempted theft stories lol

-Girl came in named Rehannon. Looked like Stevie Nicks. I am blessed.

-We close in 2 hours and im pretty sure only 15 people came in

-Yeah ive been watching Netflix. God i wanna leave.

The cursed Rudolph btw

#long post #personal #bazaar adventures #there will be a part 2 #because i gotta do this shit tomorrow too

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rogsclogs · 6 years ago

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A Kind Of Magic (Roger Taylor x Brian May x Reader); Part 2.

Y’all this is pure filth, please don’t read if you’re under 18. 100% smut and nothing else, part 3 will be pretty much the same.

Enjoy!

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They all got to Brian’s apartment in record time, speeding through traffic like Roger never had before, he couldn’t wait anymore and Y/N looked hot as hell in his backseat (admittedly he’d taken his eyes off the road to look at her a couple of times).

Brian had his lips on Y/N’s before they even closed the bedroom door, astrophysics books were scattered all over the floor and she almost fell over a bunch of times, her heels and the alcohol in her system not helping her keep her balance.

“Leave some for me too, Bri.” Roger was getting increasingly impatient with the lack of physical contact, especially considering his two friends had not taken their hands off each other the entire drive there and he’d had enough.

“I’m sorry Rog, I’ll make it up to you, I promise” Y/N purred into his ear as she detached herself from Brian and wrapped her arms around Roger’s neck, grinding on him and finally giving him some of the friction he craved so badly.

“You better, baby girl” he said back to her as he pressed a deep and harsh kiss on her lips. Meanwhile, Brian had taken off his shirt and unbuttoned his pants, and while his two friends made out, he took Roger’s jacket off his shoulders and did the same with Y/N blouse, not wanting to waste any time.

“Someone’s a bit eager, aren't they?” Roger couldn’t believe he had agreed to having sex with a girl and one of his best mates, he’d had naughty thoughts about Brian before, but he was sure he’d never actually get to experience his soft, intimate touch in real life, and he’d always kept his fantasies to himself. He couldn't wait to have a taste of both of them, and his whole body was on fire, causing his erection to become more and more prominent through his leather pants.

Y/N took notice of the discomfort in his lower region and immediately dropped on her knees, sliding the sticky material of his pants down his skinny legs, realizing he wasn’t wearing any underwear.

“Roger, you naughty boy, going commando in leather pants?” She had a mischievous smile on her face, not even trying to hide how pleased she was at his choice and at his impressive dick size. Not that she’d doubted that before.

“What can I say, I was hoping I’d get lucky maybe” that was all she allowed him to say before she spit some saliva on the tip of his dick and took it in her mouth as deep as she could, causing him to groan from the pleasure.

She pressed her tongue flat on his shaft and bobbed her head slowly, to make sure he could feel her mouth around him inch by inch.

“Fuck, I’m already about to come, I feel like a fucking fourteen year old virgin, you’re so good Y/N” he said as he threw his head back and ran his fingers through his long blond hair.

Brian took advantage of the situation, sliding his own pants and underwear down his legs and tossing them somewhere in his room, then attaching his lips to Roger’s, caressing his soft face with his rough and callous hands. He’d had wet dreams about a similar scenario months before, and he wanted to bring every fantasy of his to life.

Roger intertwined Brian’s fingers with his own and took his other hand away from Y/N’s hair to place it on Brian’s semi erected dick, pumping him with slow and sensual moves. He'd never had experiences with Brian before, but he remembered talking to him about some of his sexual adventures and Brian confessing to him that although he was into rough sex, he loved the slow and passionate act of making love. Roger had laughed at him back then, calling him a bunch of names and whatnot, but he had to admit that he found it kinda hot now, and he was ready to take it slow with him.

Brian was over the moon about the way Roger’s hand felt on him and he wasn’t sure how things would be between the two of them after the night was over, he probably wouldn't be able to look him in the eyes anymore, but he tried not to think about it too much.

After a minute he felt himself getting too close to his orgasm for his liking considering they had only just begun.

“Stop it Rog, I don't wanna come yet” at his words Y/N stood up from the floor, cleaning her mouth and face with her and taking the rest of her clothes off, except for her panties. She wanted her two gentlemen tear them off her body.

She walked over to Brian’s bed and threw away all the shit that was on it, including various books and leftover food from god knows how long ago, then she laid on it. She started teasing herself, rubbing her hands all over her soaking underwear then pushing them aside to run a finger along her folds and the sight drove the two men insane.

“Do you have a spare condom I can borrow, Rog?”

“You can always rely on me for that, Bri” all three of them laughed at his words as he went to remove a bunch of condoms from his wallet, passing one to Brian and keeping a couple for himself.

“We might need more than one for tonight” he said while looking straight into Y/N’s eyes and stretching the sticky material on his length, Brian doing the same. The two boys looked so gorgeous to Y/N, they were standing there in all their glory and she thought she would come just by looking at them touching themselves.

Roger was quicker than Brian at putting condoms on, it almost came natural to him, so he took advantage of the few seconds he had to himself and quickly hovered over Y/N on the bed. She looked stunning like that, naked and ready to take him, all he wanted to do was please her over and over.

She spread her legs for Roger while Brian kneeled on the mattress beside her head, pumping his dick and watching their friends interact.

“What do you want baby?” Roger’s voice had dropped at least an octave from his usual bright tone and the slight roughness of it turned Y/N on even more.

“I want you to use your mouth on me, please Roger” he didn’t even let her finish before he tore her panties to shreds and attacked her clit with his rough tongue. She wasn’t even phased about her panties and let out a very loud moan, probably waking up the whole apartment complex, then opened her eyes again trying to fight against the pleasure coming from her lower abdomen to take Brian’s cock in her mouth, wrapping a hand around what she couldn't fit down her throat.

Brian tugged at her hair with his right hand and kneaded her breasts with his left one, paying attention to her nipple area and slightly scratching it with his nails, making sure he left marks.

Meanwhile, Roger was still eating her out like a starved man, brushing his nose on her clit every time his tongue parted her folds and driving her absolutely wild. She knew about his reputation about how skilled he was in bed, Tim had talked to her about it a couple of times, and she could finally understand what the fuss was all about, the boy definitely knew what he was doing when it came to pleasing women. She tried not to let it distract her too much from pleasuring Brian with her mouth and she allowed herself to moan on him every time Roger hit a soft spot inside her, knowing the vibrations of her voice would only make the experience even more pleasurable for Brian.

“Are you ready, baby?” Roger let his tongue take a break to talk to Y/N but slid a couple of fingers inside her to compensate, feeling her tight and soft walls around his fingertips, making him want to waste no time taking her.

“Yes, please take my body and do whatever you want” she was talking to both Brian and Roger, letting them know she was okay with whatever they wanted to try and they didn't need to worry about it.

“Is it okay if I go first?” Brian asked Roger, he was getting so impatient and so impatient it was starting to hurt him physically.

The other boy nodded, he was okay with waiting for his turn knowing it would be worth it anyway.

Brian didn't need to be told twice as he grabbed Y/N’s thighs, spread them apart and pushed himself inside her entirely, not giving her a second to adjust and sighing from relief. Her body was thrusted back and forth on her bed as he put all the energy he had in his body into fucking her well, leaving her a moaning, sweaty mess as he pulled one of her legs over his shoulder so he could reach a deeper spot inside her.

“Right there, oh my God Bri, right there” at this point she was seeing stars and she wasn't the only one.

Brian’s hair was sticking to the back of his neck and there was sweat running down his whole torso, and for whatever reason Roger thought that that was the hottest thing he'd ever seen. He started to jerk off while staring at his best friend fucking Y/N like that was his only purpose in life, watching his cock pushing into her deeper with each thrust. This was better than any porno magazine he’d ever bought himself, and he wished he would have brought his camera to take a picture of that moment. He was about to come and he could tell, but all he wanted to do was come inside her so he forced himself to stop pleasuring himself and he went back to kissing up Y/N’s neck and torso, leaving love bites on her breasts and collarbones.

“Is it okay if I take the condom off? I want to come on your beautiful boobs” Brian was almost begging, but he didn't care how desperate he sounded, watching his friend leaving marks on her body had made him want to release all over them.

“Yeah... yeah go ahead” she was barely able to talk at that point, her mind consumed by the infinite amount of pleasure she was experiencing. Brian then quickly pulled out of her and slid the condom off, throwing it away carelessly, then pumped himself a couple of times and spilled his come on her upper body, making sure to force every last drop out of himself.

“Holy shit this is so fucking hot” was all Roger was able to say and as Brian let himself fall on the mattress beside Y/N out of exhaustion, he licked some of the cum off her boobs while maintaining eye contact with him and making him blush profusely.

“Do you want me too, Brian?” He didn't know if he was misinterpreting the flirty side of Brian with something else, but somehow he knew that he wanted to try it too. He was just as curious as Roger was.

“I.. I don't know if I can...” Brian was intrigued by the offer, but also scared that it would hurt and scared that it would inevitably ruin their friendship forever, and he didn't want to lose one of his best mates.

Roger pumped himself for a bit before pulling Y/N towards himself by her ass and pushing his dick slowly inside of her, trying not to overstimulate her.

“Well, think about it, my offer will still stand in a while”

#roger taylor x reader #roger taylor #brian may #Brian May x reader #queen fandom #queen x reader #queen imagines #imagine #fanfiction #writeblr

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eerythingisshaka · 6 years ago

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Will the Bell Ring? Pt. 2

Part 1

(Erik Killmonger x Black!OC)

Word Count: 4.3k

T’Challa has been in town for a few weeks now, no date determined for when he would return to Wakanda, so his time spent in the States mostly meant working at the outreach center, being a liason for international affairs from time to time, and also dating begrudgingly. It is Erik’s doing to try and get T’Challa out there on the prowl again since Nakia seemed not at all pressed to stand by for him.

Even though the outreach center in Oakland is an assignment T’Challa bestowed upon her to satiate her need to help others on Wakanda’s behalf, she found a way to not have to stay in one place, as she habitually tended to do. Instead of doing the grunt work, Nakia would take trips to try and spread the word of their goals to other communities to grow their cause exponentially.

Erik was tired of seeing T’Challa mope and wear himself out physically and emotionally, so one night he got him out of the house. Pulling up to T’Challa’s place, Erik honks to let him know he has arrived.

After a few minutes, T’Challa steps out in a brown tunic, pants and sandals trotting to Erik’s car.

“Aye, whoa, hey! The hell you got on man?” Erik leans over talking out of the passenger window.

T’Challa tries the door but it’s locked. “N’Jadaka, I am in my clothes. These cost more than your mortgage payments.” He tries the door again. “Unlock the door!”

Erik shakes his head. “Nah, bump that. You ain’t sittin yo tacky ass in my ride til you change, bruh. I thought you asked for Shuri’s fashion advice before leaving the house man.”

T’Challa bends down, sticking his hand in to search for the unlock button. “You are being ridiculous…”

Erik pushes on the window button on his side watching the window roll up as T’Challa quickly brings his arm out on the safe side.

“N’Jadaka!” T’Challa shouts pounding on the window.

“Aye! Your genetically enhanced ass better not bust my window cuz I know you good for a replacement. Change. Your. Clothes. If you tryna get any play tonight, you better go on back.”

T’Challa spins on his heels back towards his place as Erik pulls out his phone. Work is still hounding him about a presentation he is to give on a new model for the blackbox recording device in Boeing aircrafts. It’s in a couple of days and he still has a lot to finish before going in front of all of those white folk to back it. A text from Kimara pops up on his phone.

Hey, how long are you going to be out for?

Erik checks the time and texts back. I dont know. Shit dont start poppin off tile 12:30 sooo…

Erik, you have your appointment in the morning, remember?

Erik had not remember, thank God for Kimara’s nagging. Oh babe, of course. I won’t be out past 2, 3 at the latest.

I swear if I have to roll your ass out of the bed, so help me.

Chill out! I’m grown, I can wake myself up just fine. My six figures speak for themself.

Erik puts the phone down gripping the steering wheel with slight aggravation. Kimara has been getting extra cranky lately, which was usually a sign of the time of the month, but now it’s just the stress of trying to conceive. Erik looks back at his phone, seeing that the message was read, but no reply. Shit, he thought. That’s not good. No good night, see you later then, ok love you? She’s pissed but Erik will make it up to her in the morning. He could make it up to her when he gets home, but he gotta save that for the doctor’s appointment.

Erik honks his horn again over and over, keeping it pressed for five second intervals.

T’Challa swings his front door open waving at Erik to cease his incessant honking, locking the door behind himself. Erik looks over the ensemble of choice: black slacks with a white shirt tucked in, olive green military style jacket, some all white Adidas on his feet.

Erik sits up as he unlocks the door for T’Challa to get in. “Are you done wasting my time?”

T’Challa looks at Erik. “What do you mean? You demanded I change.”

“And I oughta make you change again with them whack Adidas on, but I’ll let it go for time. I can’t be out all night.” Erik says pulling out onto the street.

“Why would we go out if you have obligations in the morning. You didn’t mention that.”

“Well, I kinda forgot about it cuz. Kimara just reminded me while you were changing.”

“Oh, and how are things between the two of you now?” T’Challa asks.

Erik sighs, turning a corner. “We good, definitely. Just hittin a rough patch right now. You know we tryna have a baby and shit.”

“Uh-huh.” T’Challa says, scrolling through his phone.

“So like, we been tryin for a while and that ain’t been easy on her. She stay thinkin she broken and shit but the pussy ain’t broke, trust.”

T’Challa looks up from his screen. “You know that...it’s more than that to making a baby, right?”

Erik kisses his teeth. “Nigga, I know, damn. I’m just sayin, she ain’t had no issues. She already had herself checked out, the tubes and utilities is all in workin order.”

“Her uterus?” T’Challa asks in confusion.

Erik stops hard at a stop sign. “Can I tell my story the way I wanna tell it?”

T’Challa shakes his head going back to his phone again.

“Like I was saying, she good! That ain’t no issue, so she been doing her own research, eating different foods and trying other shit in the bedroom and scheduling shit out to when she most fertile but ain’t a damn thing happened. She bought pregnancy tests in bulk and shit, like this is all she be thinkin about now. We can’t just fuck no more, it’s fuckin with a purpose, which ain’t as fun. So now I gotta go get tested to make sure my hotel is fully booked for vacation, you know what I’m sayin?”

T’Challa turns off his screen letting out a sigh. “Well that is a lot of information for you to have given me just now. Great start to the evening.”

Erik kisses his teeth. “Wooow, ok, I thought family could confide in family, but cool. I hear you.”

“Erik, that is not the problem, it is your details. You leave in far too many.” T’Challa says, voice raising in frustration. “I don’t want this imagery in my head and just out of respect for Kimara, can you minimize the specifics?”

Erik drives in silence for a minute mulling it over. “Fine, aight. But that do remind me, I was wondering if you have any Wakandan aphrodisiac type stuff to try and get things kickin off more proper. I don’t know what the doctor gonna say tomorrow, but I figure I can get ahead now.”

“N’Jadaka, have you...noticed any trouble in that area before?” T’Challa asks unwillingly.

“Hell no! I get up, I get down, and ain’t had no complaints, 100% on Yelp baby!” Erik says cackling and slapping T’Challa’s leg.

“Alright, enough! To answer your question, sure, there are some remedies that can aid you in that endeavor. I can’t say how good they are, but they are made from natural ingredients so they won’t harm you, that’s for sure.”

“Bet! I’ll call you when I’m ready to try the shit. Now you bein a good cousin!” Erik cheeses excitedly.

Finally making it to the club, Erik and T’Challa get in without a worry of a line or a cover charge. T’Challa is the head of the world’s richest country after all.

Heading inside, Cardi B is blasting as the ladies shake their asses to the beat. Erik can’t help but notice all the big round ass pointing to the sky like shrimp on a platter, and he wanted to chow DOWN. So maybe he looked every now and then, hell it was practically in his face.

“Damn, it’s hot in here tonight, you see this?” Erik asks, looking over at T’Challa with his head in his phone. “Nigga, what the hell you been lookin at this entire time?”

T’Challa puts his phone in his pocket. “Nothing. Oh wow, honeys everywhere, so sweet. Yum.” His tone is monotone as he makes his way to the bar area with Erik following in confusion.

Erik orders some Ciroc neat so his likelihood of a hangover is diminished. T’Challa asks for a beer.

“Uh uh, bartender scratch that. Get him some Crown Royal Black to start off with, neat.” Erik intervenes.

“That’s not what I wanted Erik. I have things to do tomorrow as well.” T’Challa hissed.

Erik sips on his drink. “Yeah, and I assume they entail meeting with Nakia, right?”

T’Challa sighs as his drink comes up, twisting the glass in his hand. “It’s not like I’m groveling for her attention, it’s work related.”

“And that’s the damn problem. You ain’t gettin a break from her to get your shit back on track. Okoye told me you be freezin, but nigga you in a Captain America ice brick.”

T’Challa looks at Erik scornfully. “I am so tired of you all joking about that around me. I know how to talk to a woman I admire like a normal human being.”

Erik flashes his golds with a sly smile looking across the dancefloor. “Ok, what about….her, in the yellow. You like that?”

T’Challa follows Erik’s direction to see a woman with a close cut dancing. “She reminds me of the Dora too much. No offense to them but they are like family.”

Erik nods. “Ok, I got you. Sooo...her, in the glittery number.”

This woman had locs going past her shoulders with jewelry adorning them. Her dark colored dress was skintight with glitter scatter across the neck traveling to the sides of her dress in strappy stilettos.

T’Challa nods. “Maybe. I can get to know her.”

“Now, hang on. You wanna know her for longer than tonight? That’s a whole other system I have to use to map out that possibility.”

“Oh how do you know? She could be very respectable.”

Erik claps his shoulder. “Now, not to be extra, but she can be respectable and sleep with you on the first date dawg. A woman’s worth ain’t based on that alone.”

T’Challa whacks his hand off. “I told you that! Don’t use my words against me, you know what I am saying!”

“Then go over there and get to talkin! I ain’t got all night man!” Erik says, sipping his drink as T’Challa goes over to her. Erik observes as they talk: she looks at him up and down, T’Challa offers a handshake which would’ve been a strike until he kissed her hand. Smooth, muthafucka! Erik thought.

As Erik polishes off his Ciroc, he orders one more for the road. While waiting, a woman catches his eye across the way. She looks like something straight out of a music video; titties sittin up and out, waist snatched with some wide hips that had to lead to a juicy behind if she turned around just a little bit. She runs her hand down her 3C wig as she bites her oxblood colored lips in the strobe lights.

Erik has to adjust himself for space in his pants, downing his drink in one gulp. He looks over at T’Challa, who has the girls arms wrapped around his neck, so things were progressing well. Erik looks back to the woman who blows a kiss at him in the most sexiest way he has ever seen. He curses himself as he retreats, heading to the bathroom.

There wasn’t a line thankfully as he goes to a urinal leaning against the wall. He tries to clear his mind of the sight of that woman; Grandma’s, dirty draws, IRS levies, anything to make his half mast dick go down. It had been too long since he busted; doctor’s orders to make sure they get an accurate sample, but he didn’t expect to be this weak. Erik has been away from his girl too long for the night, clearly, so once he was able to pee, he made a plan to get the hell out of there.

Coming out of the bathroom he practically runs someone over.

“Oh, there you are.”

Erik looks to see the baddie from across the way. Her body is almost flush with his since she didn’t take a step back from his almost collision.

“Are you followin me?” Erik asks suspiciously.

She flashes a 1000 watt smile, dimples and all. “No! The girl’s is just always too long to wait….”

They stand in front of each other for entirely too long given the context of the conversation.

“I’m Chanel, by the way.” She holds her hand out, pastel colored nails sharpened to points with jewels dorning the ring fingernail.

“I’m Erik.” Erik takes it, growing again subconsciously from the softness and beauty of her hand, imagining it wrapped around his…

“Well, go ahead, that’s free to use. I’ll be outta your hair.” Erik says practically tripping past her to pull himself from her magnetic charm. The evening is wearing him down fast as he tries to find T’Challa.

He finally spots him in between two women jostling for his attention as he smiles all shiny and clearly tipsy.

Erik grabs him by the shoulders. “Aight, let’s go ‘fore I turn into a pumpkin bruh.”

T’Challa laughs, eyes barely open as he hugs the women to him, putting them on display. “Iman, Chi, this is my cousin I was talking to you about. He wants to be a Daddy!”

This sets off laughter between the three as Erik grows impatient. “Challa, bring yourself on or you’ll have to be beggin for 50 cent a day to take your ass home.”

Iman, the woman Erik pointed out for T’Challa, quiets down from laughing first. “I’m sorry, Erin is it? T’Challa has been the life of the party here and we were planning to make a little after party for two later, right?”

She rubs his chest, kissing his neck which makes T’Challa laugh harder. “I’m ticklish…”

Chi, a high yellow woman who looks like she used to be a flyer on the cheerleading squad wraps her arm through Erik’s. “And I’m lookin for someone to call Daddy.”

Erik firmly peels her grip off, avoiding her batting fake eyelashes. “Girl if you don’t get the fu- T’Challa! Collect your shit, I’m leavin with or without you man.”

Erik walks through and out the club heading to his car. T’Challa stumbles not too far behind.

“Heeeeyy, Erik! I’m supposed to be having fun with women tonight, why are you breaking my balls, man?” T’Challa says, slurring his words as he whispers something to Iman, making her cackle. T’Challa must’ve ordered a bottle or two to be acting this lit.

Erik mugs T’Challa as he unlocks his doors. “Look like you got one, quit while you ahead. Am I droppin y’all both at the same place?”

“To mine!!” T’Challa bellows as he clumsily opens the door for his date.

Erik drives off with T’Challa and Iman in the backseat being playful. Erik checks his phone as he drives, seeing no sign of Kimara ever texting back. It’s going on 2 am. Erik goes to ask T’Challa a question when he looks in his rearview to see him on top of his date, hands completely up her skirt as she claws to take his shirt off.

“Aye, aye! Y’all ain’t fuckin in my car! Get up off her, T!” Erik hits T’Challa as he drives.

“Eh eh! Stop it, you are doing a lot right now, N’Jadaka. Calm yourself.” T’Challa whines as he lays on Iman’s bosom as she muffles her laughter.

Finally making it to T’Challa’s spot, Erik issues a warning. “Be easy on her T’Challa. That purple running through your ass could split her in half if you don’t pace yourself.”

T’Challa leans over the front seat putting a finger to his lips. “Shuuuush, that is my secret no one can know. Except Nakia, she knew how to….OH! Don’t forget to call me about helping you impregnate your wife.”

“Congrats on fatherhood!” Iman waves at Erik as she helps T’Challa out the car.

Erik waves weakly back watching them go inside, handsy and excited to finish what they started. Erik sighs as he pulls off to his crib, reminiscing on his days or being that wild and free with his sexuality. Kimara is his one and only now, and he loves every minute of it, but the baddie at the club was sticking to his mind a little too deeply.

When Erik makes it home, he steps into the bedroom to see Kimara lying asleep, facing away from him. Erik gets undressed and takes a quick shower to freshen up before sliding across the sheets to hug his wife into him.

“Mmm, stop, I’m sleeping.” Kimara moans, batting his arms away.

“I missed you, girl, that’s all.” Erik says quietly, kissing her shoulder, hands traveling down her side roughly.

Kimara snaps her head back. “Erik, I’m serious, get on somewhere. You missed your opportunity goin out with T’Challa, now you need to rest up any damn way.” Kimara punches her pillow a couple times before flopping down on it.

Erik kisses his teeth sitting up. “So you don’t wanna ask me about my night? How T’Challa is? Anything about what we did tonight?’

“Erik, I don’t give a fuck about nothin but taking my ass to sleep, so if you would stop talkin I can do that.”

“Shit, I wish you was like this when I get off work…” Erik says under his breath.

“There’s a lotta things I wish you would do for me Erik, but Imma save your manhood til the doctor got time to see you. Good fuckin night!”

Erik lays there staring at the ceiling, words completely lost on him to express himself. Kimara’s attitude in all its glory, and he just had to take it. Erik is feeling less and less like a man in his own home. Kimara wants so much outta him, he plays it cool but it was starting to affect him. When that girl looked at him like that in the club, it was a gaze he hadn’t gotten in at least a month from Kimara.

The next morning, Erik rolls around to an empty bed. Kimara got an early start to her day, leaving Erik to be responsible for getting to his appointment on time. He arrived 30 minutes late.

“Erik Stevens!” The nurse calls out to him in the waiting room to cue his turn to be seen.

The middle age white woman goes over the usual height, weight, blood pressure and asks about his medical history. Erik is not a fan of doctors, so this took a lot for him to show up to. But if it was important to Kimara, he’d go through with it.

He was left alone to stare at the white walls with diagrams of scrotums and reproductive facts until the nurse came back with a cup and a clipboard.

“Ok, Mr. Stevens, you will take this into room 3B. Be very sure you go into 3B, you aren’t our only patient today and we don’t want to make any awkward introductions with the others, ok?” She says eyes crinkling as she hands him the cup.

Erik looks at the cup curiously. “You sure this ain’t for horses or somethin? I’m supposed to fill this?”

The nurse looks at him with amused pity, patting his shoulder. “No dear, you contribute as much as God intends. The size just makes for an easier catch.”

Erik mutters a thank you and makes his way over to his ‘donation station’, keeping his eye on 3B. He still knocks before entering just in case and walks in, closing the door behind him. The room was simple, an exam bed next to a tub of lube, with an old school TV on a table with a DVD player and some magazines.

Erik hasn’t been into porn since high school, he frankly hasn’t needed it since. But he was curious what old stuff they kept to get dudes off, so he starts with the DVD titles. ‘Katie’s Goes to an HBBCU’, ‘Black and Barely Legals’, ‘The Mandingo Report’, ‘Santa’s Big Booty Ho Ho Hos’....

“The fuck?” Erik says in disgust. He wonders if every room has this selection or if the B in 3B is for ‘Black’ donors.

The magazines were just as worse with old Playboys featuring blonde bimbos in between sticky pages. Erik tossed them and went over to the sink to rinse his hands off. Nothing in that room was gonna get this done fast so he sat on the edge of the bed and got his phone out. He has one unread message from Kimara.

Sorry I left so soon. I had to go to the studio early today to get ahead on some stuff. Hope you’re doing good!

Erik breathed a sigh of relief as it seems she was past last night for now.

I’m good, you know how I am about doctors.

She replies back. Yeah, you think they all microchipping people when they tell you to say ahhh lol

Erik smiles to himself, thankful to have her words running across his screen. Another message pops up.

Are you done then? Cuz I was hoping I could meet you for lunch or somethin to talk and stuff.

Erik bites his lip holding the phone in his hands, getting some devilish thoughts in his brain.

Nah, not yet. They got pornos here but I ain’t feelin them.

He sends the message and waits a little bit hoping she gets what he’s trying to say. He saved their best work on his computer at home but he hadn’t backed them up for him to access on his phone yet.

A few minutes pass and he’s getting anxious picking up the phone again to text an outright request before his phone dings. The icon of a video message appears and Erik’s dick is already getting hard. Pressing play he sees her come up on screen smiling with the sun on her face beaming in a halter bikini. This is a video from their vacation last year to the Bahamas. They stayed at an Airbnb that was way over budget but worth it. Kimara giggles talking in a vlog style on the balcony before Erik slips up behind her, hugging her waist and kissing her behind her ear.

“You vloggin baby? Look at us, we fuckin cute as shit.” Erik said, speech slurred.

Kimara giggles so hard her eyes close. “You messin up my shot Erik, dang! I’m tryna document our trip for later.”

Erik lays on Kimara as she leans over the rail of the patio, gripping her breast greedily. “You documentin everythin?”

“Mhm.” Kimara nods as she looks at Erik from the camera’s front facing view.

As the scene progresses Erik takes his pants down and pumps the lube from the side table to start working on himself. Leaning back on the bed he gets comfortable as he watches his hands travel Kimara’s body, stripping her slowly and her reacting blissfully. Her moans and foul language keep him focused on his stroke as Erik in the video commandeers the camera to show him entering her from behind. Erik breathes in sharply as he recalls her tightness around him as he jacks himself faster. The camera pans to Kimara arching, her braids splayed across her back as she works herself back on him, gripping the rail for dear life. Her moans become louder and more breathless as she approaches her tipping point, Erik in the doctors office and Erik in the video curse in unison over their shared pleasure. When the camera shows his dick covered in her creamy secretions he barely had time to grab the cup and collect his sample. He groaned as he choked his dick to get every spurt he could into it.

“Alright, y’all better show out in them tests.” He tells his little soldiers as he caps the cup.

As Erik came down from his high, he calls Kimara with his clean hand.

“Hey, baby. How are you?” Kimara asks. He can hear her smiling as she talks.

“Now you know what the fuck you just did.” Erik says laughing.

“And I know what you just did! That’s a favorite, I loved that trip.”

“Shit, you tellin me. I fuckin miss that island, it just brought out a different energy in us.”

There’s a pause on Kimara’s end. “It did huh? Maybe we can plan to go there again soon? It would be a nice time of the year, I got vacation time to take.”

Erik stuffs his dick back in his pants, sitting up. “I like that idea. I got one demand though if we go.”

“Anything.” Kimara says seductively.

“No talk of tryna get pregnant, kids, babies, fertility windows, none of that. I still feel like our biggest problem is stressing out about it. We just need to go on and when it happens, it happens. The doc said it could take over a year, so I mean I just don’t wanna see you going out of your mind about this. You need to relax some and just be you again.”

Kimara sighs. “You can’t plan a trip and think all of our problems are just gonna go like that. Sweeping things under the rug will just-”

“Problems? As in plural? Whatchu talkin bout, Mara?”

“Nothing, I don’t wanna do this over the phone, I gotta go.”

Erik looks at the call ending on his phone loses any relaxation he just gained a few minutes ago.

Masterlist

Ragtag (let me know if you wanna tag!)

@chaneajoyyy @sarcastic-sunshines @muse-of-mbaku @dameshaemonique @fonville-designs @destinio1 @bakarisangel

#erik killmonger fanfic #black panther au #erik killmonger x oc #shakafic #fanfic #black panther fanfic

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tumblunni · 6 years ago

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Oh fuck i cant stand this

Ive already almost used up my damn mobile data again and i only bought it yesterday. Fuck i want to go home. You guys are like the only comfort i have here and i dunno what im gonna do when i cant message you again

Fuckin hell stupid shit day! I was supposed to go to a therapy class thing today but the stupid bus went past where my abusive father lives and i had a MASSIVE FREAKOUT and had to go home and then ofcourse to go home you have to go back on the stupid same bus!! I fuckib failed and wasted the doctor's time and he had to grab me to stop me from running off the bus crying and back to fuckin hell dad's house because im shit and i deserve everything he ever did to me

AND THEN fuckin same doctor continues the relentless constant tide of everyone misgendering me and making crass transphobic jokes

"You see you've gotta understand the other opinion" he says, as if trans people werent fuckin raised SURROUNDED by cis people's predjudiced opinion of us and taught it was fact. As if it didnt take me SO MUCH WORK to even become confident enough to stand up for myself! I've gotta see the 'other opinion' that "yknow well families and children use public bathrooms and theyre scared trans people will molest their children so its understandable they want to kick you out or even act violent to you". Yknow the OTHER OPINION that MY OPINION DOESNT MATTER and also MY ENTIRE EXISTANCE IS A CRIME but i'm the one being predjudiced for not accepting that OPINION, right?! Im here trying to tell him that no that isnt rational because there have been LITERALLY NO RECORDED CASES of trans people molesting children in public bathrooms, or even "evil men faking being trans" to do the same thing. There's been more cases of actual cis men breaking into women's bathrooms to drag women out for merely LOOKING trans. More cis women have been harassed because of anti trans laws than they ever did before! But hey "respect that other opinion", right? And also "at least its not as bad as russia" and "but gay pride is everywhere now, that one footballer had rainbow shoelaces." Hey wow i never noticed that not only was homophobia totally over but also transphobia was remotely related to that! Wow! I seriously had to bring out the fuckin 1600s historical investigation on pre-british olde englishe that showed the existance of a gender neutral pronoun before the word "he" ever existed, and the existance of transgender pride and pronoun discussions in the 1800s before the word transgender was even popularized. I cant believe i fuckin had to do a 'show your sources that queer people existed before the internet' IN REAL LIFE. WITH A MEDICAL PROFESSIONAL. I can point at the damn NHS website but nooooo!

Oh and yknow what got me the most? YKNOW WHAT GOT ME THE MOST?? "We have sick people here, you cant expect them to remember stuff like that. Dont ruin their recovery by bringing up stuff like that." Like..fuckin..IM A FUCKIN PATIENT TOO. I wasnt even asking the other patients to stop hurting me i was asking you the staff to maybe consider it! And seriously you want me to be so super ultra perpetually prepared and perpetually rational and able to keep my existance secret and out of every conversation yet theyre too ill to learn about lgbt people existing? Just a sentence would be too painful? And me living every day being misgendered doesnt impact my ability to recover at all, eh? Fuckin shitting fuck hell.

And i hate it i HATE IT because he's being nice so i'll be the bad guy if i complain. Likehe fuckin..doesnt even know he's being rude and doesnt want to consider the idea. He says 'i dont like your tone' if i suggest the concept and FUCK in that moment i was so fuckin scared he was gonna hit me like my dad did. Or at tge very least kick me out of the hospital if i dont cooperate with him. He just fuckin..thinks he's perfectly unbiased and accepts everyone and "oh but i like to make fun of everyone equally". And i even fuckin raised the subject that people who say that often only make fun of minorities and never themselves, the majority, or major power structures. And he's just like 'yeah yeh i hate people like that'. Whoosh. Rigjt over the head. God i wasnt even TRYING to be passive aggressive i was trying tk outright tell him why what he said was upsetting me but NOPE. Trying to explain how its just so hard and tiring to have to verrrrrry patientlyyyyy explain yourself to EVERYONE EVERY DAY CONSTANTLY while they sling loads of rude words at you and it should be just allowed because they 'dont know better'. Like you ask me to educate you but at the same time im rude if i actually tell you?? And god i also tried to explain how the fuckin bathroom violence thing isnt an example of 'educating another opinion' AGAIN by saying like... If someone just asked me to explain being transgender i would. If someone just said they were uncomfortable i would leave. That's 'another opinion'. Reacting with slurs and violence to a trans person existing and not doing anything to you is not 'another opinion' and its not someone who 'just didnt know'. He was seriously trying to argue that it WASNT BIGOTED it was just someone rationally being afraid for their children because of a danger that doesnt exist, and rationally reacting with extreme violence rather than doing anything else. Rationally. RATIONALLY. oh just MISTAKENLY committing a hate crime! Cos they just didnt know trans people exist! Not cos they hate us! Oh no! Yeah sure we totally have a fucking DUTY to educate these POOR UNKNOWING PEOPLE while theyre attacking us, and its our damn fault if we didnt...

And just fucking FUCK i hate how someone can say all that stuff and still be "nice" and still not hate me personally? Like its so messed up?? He's not anti trans or anything he just has so much more damn sympathy for cis people than trans people, and puts all the onus on us to somehow prevent our own murders. And he thinks that "i dont have a problem with trans people" means doing LITERALLY NOTHING to change your behaviour to make trans people feel accepted. They should just magically know that your jokes are jokes when theyre surrounded by so many people saying it honestly, in CONSTANT FEAR OF THAT EXACT THING LEADING TO VIOLENCE. And like in order to be "a guy who has no problem with trans people" he has to do nothing, while in order for me to be not bigoted against HIM it means i have to never get offended by his jokes and also never talk about myself and also constantly educate him about things because he doesnt want to learn, even though he works in a hospital thats supposed to have an anti discrimination policy. Like fuckin just NOT HURTING LGBT PEOPLE doesnt make you discrimination free, shit like telling me to misgender myself because my pronouns would confuse the other patients is kinda fuckin fucked up. Also "that's a question for later" is all i CONSTANTLY get when it comes to talking about legal name changes or therapy or even just talking to an lgbt support group. I have to wait until i stop being depressed because oh no im talking about too many mental illnesses at once. Its been seven years and i havent fuckin stopped being depressed, bitch! Ever consider a fuckin symptom of gender dysphoria is a big ol fat depression!!! And just gahhhhh he was so fuckin baffled and angry that i would dare to get emotional about the subject?? Like he just saw DEBATING WHETHER TRANS PEOPLE ARE REAL and WHETHER PEOPLE WHO MURDER THEM FOR USING THE BATHROOM ARE JUSTIFIED as a perfectly normal casual discussion that a Non Transphobic Man could have with his transgender friend. Why oh why would i cry about this casual hypothetical discussion? Hey its not like it fuckin affects me directly! "Well its never happened to you right?" A Ha Ha Ha Ha. Also fuckin "so which bathroom do you use?" and "well you're not really transgender if youre not getting the surgery-oh wait you do want the surgery? How does that work then?" I swear i could just see the gears turning in his head and he was about to say "do you want both down there". Gahhhhhh *cringes myself into a tiny tumbleweed and blows away*

Also the entire time he kept calling being trans a sexuality and also asexuality. "No youre not trans youre asexual right?" Yeah sure ive just been saying im trans and saying im not a girl and wearing a chest binder and talking this entire conversation about my experiences as a trans person in public bathrooms just to pull an elaborate prank on you. And like i know what he meant is that he thought the word for nonbinary was asexual (has asexuality REALLY made so little progress towards getting into the sex ed curriculum in the entire 25 years of my life?) But like seriously he was like "youre not really trans if youre nonbinary". And then fuck dude i dont wanna explain how surgery works to you!! And especially not also my entirely unrelated sexuality that has entirely different equally upsetting predjudices!

Ans gahhhh fuck i just got no sympathy for crying and he acted as if it was just some wildly unexpected occurance he never could have predicted. And i hate it cos he's nice to me whenever the subject is about anything else. I cant get any symoathey from ANYONE because he's A NICE GUY and why dont i just understaaaaaand other opinionnnnnns

I wanted to fuckin quit this whole thing on the spot and go home. Only reason i cant is because my support worker is off work until thursday auauauaughhh

Fuck at least one positive i guess is that ive made progress in the social anxiety or at least gotten better at giving the impression im making progress. Cos i want to LEAVE AS FAST AS POSSIBLE. And also fuck all my other worries seem less suicide-inducing when im actually getting the closest ive ever been to killing myself on a daily basis because of a stupid other thing that i never could have predicted. Go here for one form of self hate, come home with another! Yayyyyy

And fuck i havent even made a single bit of progress on drawing or writing anything and i cant practise making ganes cos my laptop cant run rpgmaker and i havent even started reading my giant pile of books cos they fuckin LOOK THROUGH THE WINDOW EVERY SINGLE HOUR TO MAKE SURE YOU AINT KILLED YOURSELF. i have no fuckin pribacy and its making me wanna kill myself even more!! I just live constantly on edge looking at the fuckin door window and i cant even do anything to distract myself because im too scared of them looking at me!! Or barging in at no notice to tell me i have to do some big stressful thing RIGHT NOW because i dont even get advance notice of anything aaaa! And fuck i dont have anywhere to go to even calm down from a panic attack cos i have no privacy so at least im getting over being scared of going outside cos outside is the only place i can go to cry. Fuckin strangers in the crowd at least wont cause shit if they see me.

Fuck i want to go home. Fuck i wish i had enough money to keep buying mobile internet. Its like fuckin 750mb a day to run tumblr but its all ive got to talk to any person who doesnt hate me or patronize me or think im faking a bunch of shit or whatever the fuck. And im not even any fun to be around when im like this so im probably just ruining your day too. And im probably gonna vanish again soon and then just go back to crying alone and getting worse and probably never being able to leave

I knew it was gonna be stressdul but i didnt predict any of this.. I just wanna fuckin die. I wanted to jump out the car and go to my old dad's house and have him pull open the door and slap me around a bit. Like call me a fucking dyke, call me a sick retard, be honest about your feelings! I'd fuckin take being abused over this "oh youre the bad one for being mad because i had goooood intentions" reverse psychology bigotry from hell. Either these people are evil geniuses or theyre even more stupid like me. Fuckin shit dad please manifest in my room and slap me, killing me instantly. I feel like being scared of you would at least be a faster emotion than this nebulous sensation of confusing unease and dysphoria 24/7 for 6 fuckin months. One week done, haha! Hahahabahahahahahahahahahahahahshahahahahahshshshahshahahahhahahaaaa

#suicide mention #im sorry #all their no privacy shit doesnt even work cos i was just left alone all night when i wanted to kill myself #and took then three days to notice the wound on my arm #didnt cut my veins or anything dangerous i just couldnt stop scratching #at my skin for an hour and now there's a bit of a mess there #but its scabbed over so its fine #i drew all over the other arm to keep from hurting myself again #i thought i was okay after that nice experience at the build a bear workshop but im even #worse today cos now i k ow the staff are just fuckin fine with transphobia and im gonna just have to #shut my mouth i guess #fuck just look forward to the art classes whenever i finally get to do them #but i was looking forward to the class today and then i couldnt do it cos i got all scared of dad #fuckkkkkkk

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angi-stfu · 3 years ago

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I feel like I'm overreacting but I'm also justified? Like logically,,, to me,,, I have to

1. Take in so much of both of these dresses. This in itself should be a sign that I'm not fat

2. It's a 4 hr event?? You mean to tell me that she wants me to starve myself so I can lose weight for a 4 hr event?? Where no one will be paying attention to me? Idk seems a little over board. I didnt even wanna go in the first place.

3. I thought that my skin looked ok? I mean I'm not saying its extremely clear and wonderful or anything but w my glasses and a mask it doesnt rlly matter. Itll be dark, no one cares that much

4. Idk I just felt rlly good ab my body up until she said that. Like,, I was on top of the world when I realized that I am actually kinda rlly hot and stuff. I stopped paying attention and i let her in too close again.

5. Her perception of the desirable female body is extremely outdated I think. Maybe it's just me but i feel like a lot of ppl like curvy girls nowadays. I dont have to be stick thin like she was or like my sister is rn to be pretty. I felt pretty in all my curves and big thighs and tummy. I thought I was ok

But she doesnt listen to me. The reason I told her to stop talking ab my body was so that I could build my own perception of myself. Up until recently tbh, I only thought of my physical body in the ways that other people told me. I look like my dad (meaning: a little masc, light rbf, my mother's abuser), my ass is too flat, my tits are huge, I have too much fat around my stomach and my arms and legs are too muscular. I hated myself until recently.

So I shut out everyones comments ab my body. I didnt listen to anything and took the time to really look at myself and think ab all my qualities. The only thing was,, I couldnt shut my mom out. I got upset everytime she said something, but when i told her to stop saying things, she told me that i was over reacting and that i should have thicker skin. Thicker skin means not listening. Should I not listen?? Idk anymore. She doesn't listen to me. I'm really tired of trying to explain myself to her. I cant do this anymore but idk what to do now. It would be a waste to kill myself at this point i think. I have solos in this next concert and I've already bought 2 prom tickets. But at the same time i could just do it after the concert. So many things would be easier then. I won't have to worry this conflict that makes my head feel hot. I wouldnt have to worry ab college or its cost. In practicality, it makes perfect sense. The only thing I'd probably leave behind is emotional damage. I'd also be abandoning Shalini, but she honestly might be better off without me.

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babylon-bitch · 7 years ago

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Just Friends ~ Drown (part 62)

A/N: I write around 9 or 10 chapter a head, and currently I’m writing the Christmas chapters. I want to get those out around the holiday season, so you’re gonna get around 2 or 3 chapters a week for a while, just a heads up so you don’t get confused. Also this is Harper’s cover: https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=FU5ifmugneM

Harper White is best friends with Luke Hemmings, they always have been. Not only is she friends with the rockstar, but with the rest of 5 Seconds Of Summer, as well as a really nice girl named Erika.

Harper has a few secrets, she can play all the instruments the boys play and many more. It’s a talent she has kept hidden, only very few people know.

What will happen to the six teens, wondering around the world together

***

Harper’s P.O.V.

“Josh, wake up.” I shake his shoulder.

“Name me one good reason why.” He states.

“Because we’re about to land so you need to put your seatbelt on, mum would kill me if I left you, you’re sitting on my earphone wire so I’ve got limited mobility, and I was told to.” I state multiple.

“Well aren’t you a smarty pants.” He sighs and rubs his eyes.

“Thanks.” I say.

“Who told you to wake me up?” He asks, sitting up straight.

“Angus.” I say.

“Oh, hey, forgot about you.” Josh turns towards Angus.

“You’re just bitter I got the window seat.” Angus declares.

“Shut up.” Josh mutters. “I’m the oldest, I should get to pick where I sit.” He complains.

“Where’d you get that from?” I ask.

“The rules.”

“Well in that case I’m the youngest so I should get to pick where I sit, because I don’t wanna be in the middle.”

“You need to reread the rules, mate.” Angus tells me.

“Okay, fuck the rules, if we’re gonna do this properly, either Josh or me should get the window seat and you be in the middle because it goes in order.” I say.

“Ugh I hate being the middle child.” Angus groans.

“I love being the youngest because I’m the favourite.” I say smugly.

“I love being the oldest so I can be the boss.” Josh repeats my tone. “And I don’t think that’s true, I’m the favourite.”

“Okay, if that’s right, why did mum and dad pay for my flight?” I smirk.

“What?” They say in unison.

“What?” I raise an eyebrow.

“I’m a uni student, I have limited money.” Josh exclaims.

“Me too, you actually have a steady job, you probably have more money than us.” Angus states.

“Like I said, I’m the youngest, check the rules.” I wink and turn my attention to my phone, drowning their grumbles.

“Is it true you played for her flight and not ours?” Is the first thing Angus asks when we meet up with our parents.

“I told you not to tell them.” Mum tells me.

“They were ganging up on me!” I play the victim and rest my head on her shoulder, whilst wrapping my arms around her, making her loosely wrap her arms around me.

“You were bragging that you were the favourite.” Josh calls me out.

“Hey, I just broke up with my boyfriend, cut me some slack.” I say.

“Harper that was nearly 11 months ago.” Angus deadpans.

“It still hurts.” I clutch my heart.

“God, anything to wind up your brothers.” Dad laughs and I high five him.

“Great strat right?” I laugh.

It’s been a while, it’s nearly Halloween so I decided I’d join my brother’s when they go home instead of getting wasted at some lame party I’ll barely remember in the morning this year. It’s probably better for me because I’ve been out a lot recently, and a couple weeks free of heavily drinking will do me good.

I’ve really just ignored everything and tried to get through uni. I finished my first year of university last month, and now I’m in my second year. I’ve thrown everything over my shoulder, waiting to deal with it later, and not looked back

The only time I’m open is when I’m with my therapist, and that lasts for an hour and a bit, then the next day I’m shut tight. I haven’t talked to the boy’s or girls in ages, the last I had contact with them is when I ran into Calum. I’m only talking physical.

I’ve thought about them a lot, especially one boy, but I’m waiting to deal with that later, I’m not in the right headspace to sort that out because that’s gonna take a long time, and I’m just not in the right place to do so right now.

That’s if I can ever deal with that.

It’s weird, I haven’t moved on from where I was like 8 months ago, I’ve just accumulated more pain and more clutter, and after 10 and a bit months, you would of thought I’d be able to move on, but I just can’t. I physically can’t. I’ve tried, but my heart just hurts if I try to move on. I’ve done it successfully a few times, but for a solid week and a bit after, I’m just so fucking guilty.

There was a close time where I almost called Luke. I’d went home with a guy the previous night, then the next night I was drunk and crying, and I just stared at his contact for what could’ve been minutes or hours, I’m not sure, but my thumb hovered over call for ages, and at one point I fell asleep.

I’ve been tempted to talk to the other boys, but if I need to move on from Luke, talking to his best friends isn’t gonna help much.

“Can we go now?” I whine, had enough of all this mushy stuff.

“Fine.” Dad sighs exasperated.

Last time I’d come back with my brother’s, I was still with Luke and days away from a break up. It’s weird to think that, because I had no idea at all that that was gonna happen, and it was such a shock when he told me, I almost didn’t believe him, but the way his voice cracked and the desperate tone of voice told me it was real.

It seems like a life time ago I was actually with Luke and happy, yet it only seems like yesterday.

“Can’t wait to go you to see the new arrangements, we moved things around and now it looks so much better.” My mum excitedly says.

“I’m sure it looks great mum.” I tell her.

“What she said.” Josh points at me.

“Shotgun not sitting in the middle.” I call.

“Same.” Josh calls.

“Shotgun.” Angus says.

“Hey you can’t call it, I just did.” Josh tells Angus.

“You didn’t actually say shotgun, plus I’d tone your voice down because shouting shotgun in an airport is not too wise.” Angus informs.

“It’s the rules.” I say into his ear before walking away.

“I hate you guys so much, I’m the oldest.” Josh grumbles.

“With the oldest anger problem too.” Angus teases and we high five.

Luke’s P.O.V.

“And that’s tour done!” Ashton exclaims as we step off the plane.

“It was so much fun.” Calum smiles.

“Yeah.” I agree.

“I’m so excited to be reunited with my bed.” Michael breathes a sigh of relief.

“Same, but before I do that, I’ll need to pee because I’m kinda desperate.” Calum says.

“Really Calum?” I ask.

“Yeah!”

“Why couldn’t you pee on the plane?” I question.

“Because when I flush, it sounds like I broke the plane.” He explains.

“Are your parents related?” I ask.

“No.” He shakes his head confused.

“Then why are you so stupid?” I ask.

“I was probably dropped as a baby.” He shrugs.

“And then dropped on every step on the stairs.” I mumble.

“Take that stick out your ass, Hemmings.” Michael tells me.

“Been trying to for the past 11 months.” I sigh.

“Holy fuck, how big is it?” Calum exclaims.

“It can’t be that big, he’s just being a baby.” Ashton tunes in.

“Well, you try losing someone important to you, see how you feel then.” I glare at him.

“Okay so apparently it’s a whole fucking oak forest.” Michael says.

“Just leave me alone.” I groan.

“Honestly Luke, when are you gonna get over her?“ Michael questions.

“I’m asking myself the same question.” I shake my head. “I just can’t I don’t know why, I’ve tried, I’ve tried so hard, but it doesn’t work.”

“What have you done with a girl ever since you broke up with Harper?” Calum questions.

“I hooked up with one girl last month, and it just wasn’t the same, I didn’t enjoy it, and I was out of there as soon as possible.”

“Maybe because you were so used to doing it with love, and it didn’t feel the same because it was meaningless.” Ashton suggests.

“Maybe.” I nod.

“Did you feel guilty at all.” Calum asks.

“So fucking guilty.” I answer. “It was like I was cheating on her all over again.”

“What went on with that? Like did you know it was another girl? Did you think it was Harper because you were so drunk? Did you intentionally sleep with another girl? We don’t really know what happened.” Ashton bumbards me with questions.

“I think a part of me thought it was Harper, but as it went on I noticed little things that Harper didn’t have or do or whatever. I know being drunk isn’t an excuse, but I was just so out of it, I wasn’t thinking. It just sorta happened and when I woke up in the morning, I was devastated, and I didn’t know what to do, I knew I’d have to tell her, because I couldn’t keep that in. I decided to tell her face to face, because I’m already a shitty person for sleeping with someone else, I dont want to be even shittier by not.”

“You really did fuck up.” Michael tells me.

“You think I don’t know that?” I raise an eyebrow.

“Did you know her at all?” Calum asks.

“No idea who she was.” I shake my head.

“Do you remember he name?” Ash questions.

“I can’t even remember what she looked like, let alone her name. I think she was blonde.” I try to remember.

“Did she know who you were?” Calum questions.

“I can barely remember anything of that night, how am I supposed to remember the specifics?” I sigh.

“But you remember sleeping with her?” Michael asks.

“Yeah.” I nod.

“You did actually sleep with her right? You didn’t like imagine it or something?” Calum asks.

“I defiantly did because I remember her leaving in the morning, leaving me her number. Plus, there were paparazzi pictures of me and her I think.” I answer as we get into a car.

“Oh yeah, that caused a lot of drama.” Michael laughs. “What did Harper say about those?”

“Uh, she asked me about them and I just told her she was drunk and I was helping her, she bought it because she trusted me, and look where that went – down the drain.”

***

“Luke!” My mum calls for me.

“Yeah?” I shout back.

“Come down.”

I sigh, putting on a shirt, as I walk out, because I just got out the shower. Skipping down the stairs, I go towards the kitchen where I here talking. Walking in I see Michael, Calum and Ashton.

“Hey guys?” I ask confused.

“Hi, we’re going to surprise the girls.” Michael says.

“And by girls you mean…”

“Erika and Maddie.” Ashton answers.

“Yeah not Harper because you know, she’s not in the country.” Calum explains.

“Right.” I nod. “Anything else?”

“Yeah we’re gonna be livestreaming it.” Ashton replies.

“Why?” I question.

“Because why not?” Calum tells me.

“But like, there’s no point.” I furrow my eyebrows.

“Get with the times, people love this shit, the amount of videos I’ve watched of soldiers coming home is astonishing.” Michael exclaims.

“We’re not soldiers though.” I state.

“So? People will still love it.”

“Okay, why livestream though?”

“So people can be in the moment.” Ashton encourages.

“Whatever.” I shake my head, going into the fridge.

“When are we going?” Calum asks, looking up from his phone.

“In a minute.”

Walking up Erika’s drive way, Ashton has his phone out, and we’re all a little giddy.

“So they have no idea we’re home?” I ask.

“Nope.” Ashton shakes his head.

“Who’s knocking?” Michael questions.

“I’ll do it.” Calum calls and knocks on the door.

“I hope she’s in.” I chuckle.

We hear the door make sounds and it opens, revealing Erika, and her eyes instantly widen.

“Guys!” She shrieks and instantly hugs Calum.

“Erika!” Calum mocks and wraps his arms around her torso.

“What’s going on out her- oh my God.” The voice of Maddie says.

“Maddie!” Michael grins and pulls her into a hug.

Calum lets go of Erika then she comes up towards me, and I pull her into a hug. “I missed you.” She tells me.

“Aw, I missed you too.” I smile and let go of her.

“How’ve you been?” She asks.

“Fine.” I nod, stuffing my hands into my pockets. “You?”

“Good, missed everyone like crazy.” Erika sighs. “I’ll uh speak in a minute.” She gestures towards the other boys.

“Yeah.”

“Luke!” Maddie grins.

“Hi!” I chuckle, pulling her into a quick hug. “How has it been with out your one true love?” I joke.

“Better actually.” She answers and I playfully glare at her. “Nah, your one true love is 15 minutes away.”

“What?” I ask but she walks away.

I watch Ashton say goodbye to his phone and he puts it in his pocket, a smile plastered onto his face.

“Who else at you surprising?” Erika asks.

“It’s just you, no one left, because we’re loners.” Calum laughs.

“I take it you already did Harper then?” Erika raises and eyebrow.

“What?” We question.

“Did she not tell you?” Erika asks.

“No, we haven’t spoken to her in months.” Calum shakes his head.

“Really? She didn’t tell you?” Maddie asks.

“Clearly.” Michael replies.

“Oh.” She mumbles.

“That’s unfortunate.” Erika scratches the back of her neck.

“What did she tell you?” I ask.

“Uh, she said, hi, back in Aus for a little, wanna meet up at some point? It’ll do me good to take a break from everything haha.” Erika reads from her phone, making me shake my head.

“I guess she’s officially done with us.” Ashton sighs.

“I don’t think she knows you’re here, to be honest.” Maddie states.

“Actually that’s very true, you should go over and surprise her, I can assure you she doesn’t hate you, and she won’t be mad if you surprise her.” Erika explains.

“You think?” Michael questions.

“Yeah.” She nods.

“Well next stop, Harper’s.”

*** Michael’s P.O.V.

“You know I think I’m just gonna go home, she doesn’t want to see me and I have to respect that, you carry on and I’ll just watch the stream.” Luke tells us.

“You sure?” Calum asks.

“Yeah, I’ll catch you guys later.” He gives us a sad smile.

“Alright, bye.” I wave and he waves back, then crosses the road going over to his house, which is just a few houses down.

“I’m kinda nervous.” Ashton says pulling out his phone

“Same.” I agree walking up the stairs.

“Do you think she’s in? There’s no cars on the driveway.” Calum points out.

“Ma-”

“Wait, I can hear music.” I cut Ashton off.

“You can?” Calum furrows his eyebrows.

“Yeah, listen.” I reply and we all go silent, hearing the faint sound of a piano.

“Wow that sounds really nice.” Calum comments.

“Yeah, she probably won’t be able to hear us if we knock.” Ashton states.

“Let’s go through the back, it’s always open.” Calum says making me me snicker.

“Nah, that’s not Harper.” I laugh.

“This is a sentimental moment we’re about to have!” Ashton exclaims.

We walk round, going through the gate walking up the path we meet the backdoor.

Calum opens it and the music gets louder, but now a voice runs with it, and it sounds a lot like Harper’s. We all look at each other in confusion and Ashton readjusts his phone as we make our way towards the noise.

Walking into the living room, we see Harper sat at a grand piano, her fingers moving over the keys, as her voice runs like liquid honey with the music.

I take a listen to the lyrics and they’re heart breaking.

What doesn’t kill you makes you wish you were dead. Got a hole in my soul, growing deeper and deeper. And I can’t take one more moment of this silence. The loneliness is haunting me. And the weight of the world’s getting harder to hold up.

It comes in waves, I close my eyes. Hold my breath and let it bury me. I’m not okay, and it’s not alright. Won’t you drag the lake and bring me home again?

Who will fix me now? Dive in when I’m down? Save me from myself, don’t let me drown. Who will make me fight? Drag me out alive? Save me from myself, don’t let me drown.

What doesn’t destroy you, leaves you broken instead. Got a hole in my soul growing deeper and deeper. And I can’t take one more moment of this silence. The loneliness is haunting me. And the weight of the world’s getting harder to hold up.

It comes in waves, I close my eyes. Hold my breath and let it bury me. I’m not okay, and it’s not alright Won’t you drag the lake and bring me home again?

Who will fix me now? Dive in when I’m down? Save me from myself, don’t let me drown. Who will make me fight? Drag me out alive? Save me from myself, don’t let me drown.

‘Cause you know that I can’t do this on my own. (Woah oh oh oh) ‘Cause you know that I can’t do this on my own. (Woah oh oh oh) ‘Cause you know that I can’t do this on my own. (Woah oh oh oh) (‘Cause you know that I can’t do this on my own.)

Who will fix me now? Who will fix me now? Who will fix me now? Dive in when I’m down? Save me from myself, don’t let me drown.

( https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=FU5ifmugneM)

The boys and I look at each other in shock, and a little confusion. It takes years for someone to play piano like that, and I’ve known Harper for years, and I’ve not seen her play any type of instrument besides a ukulele. I knew she could sing, and she was very shy about that, but that’s all I know.

“Suprise.” Ashton cautiously says.

Harper suddenly turns around, her eyes widen and a smile grows on her face.

“What are you guys doing here?” She asks.

“Uh, enough about us, what was that, since when could you play piano?” Calum changes the subject.

“What are you guys doing here?” She repeats, making us laugh.

“Well?” I raise an eyebrow.

“We’ve gotta go, there’s a conversation ahead of us and I’ll update you later.” Ashton says to his phone.

“You were recording?” Harper questions.

“Livestreaming.” Ashton corrects.

“Oh wow.”

“So, music lady, explain.” I urge.

“Music lady?” She laughs and I nod. “Uh, I’ve been playing since I was like 10.”

“10?” We all exclaim.

“10.” She confirms.

“How come we’ve never seen you play before?” Ashton questions.

“I don’t know, it’s my own little secret, it’s not a big deal.” She shrugs.

“It’s a big deal, you’ve kept it for 9 years.” Calum tells her.

“Whatever, can we talk about this later?” Harper begs.

“Fine, but give me a hug first.”

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wonhuis · 5 years ago

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we can ramble together! also sorry, my english was awful, sometimes i think i wrote one word to ended up noticing i didn't. what you study sounds really interesting! how do you manage your time with 2 things? hopefully you finished your work without any problem and good luck with your exam!! tell me how that went later. i totally understand you, i left my finals for february because i wanted to rest these months, yesterday i slept almost the whole day😅 1/3 🍰-sss

i work as a freelance tutor for little kids. one of my fav hobbies is knitting, currently im working on a sweater similar to chan’s one from home mv. thank you! it totally sucks but last night it was amazing, full 6hs which is a lot. i hope you can rest properly even though it bothers you sometimes :( ahh those songs are wonderful, lean on me is one of my favs. for vocal unit i’d say hug or habit, and for hhu trauma or check in (the mv is one of my favorites so colorful) 2/3🍰-sss

i feel like i’ll end up sending u one more ask, bc tumblr doesn’t allow really long asks dfksksd. yeah, seungcheol is def something else, idk he’s so wholesome and cute and i love him. i was wondering did u choose url bc wonwoo + jun? was he your bias or smth like that?👀 VIXX! i love them, and miss them. shangri la always reminds me of jun for some reason, maybe the colors. those aes really help me to figure it out what gift can i make for you, thank you! 3/4🍰-sss

ahh tbh i like a lot of concepts i don’t have a fav, for svt i tend to like “soft” stuff more like pretty u, mansae and very nice but fear, hit and getting closer are really great as well! i think i’m a biased hehe. but ballads and fall/winter aesthetics touch my heart, i love a good cinematography for a mv with a warm tone in it. what are your fav movies or genre? do you think jun would like them?😂 oh and what are your hobbies? 4/4 🍰-sss (idk if you got this one, tumblr said error)

yeah i’m gonna put this under read more lmao

ur english is fineeeeeee, i have this thing where i never apologize for my english and i don’t think anyone else should either!!! esp if ur not a native english speaker (which i think u arent bc they never apologize for their badly written english lmao), bc like… we have learned another language besides our own you know? and english speakers always think they’re better than everyone else when they mostly only speak english LMAO don’t apologize for your english bc u had to learn it from 0 and you mostly don’t even have to use it for anything in your country!! so it’s ok!! (unless u live somewhere ppl actually do speak english then i’m SORRY, bUT EITHER WAY U DONT NEED TO APOLOGIZE LMAO)

oh i actually don’t lmao i don’t rlly care about my college and i kinda hate it sometimes, some teachers are rlly awful and the books have lots of mistakes and i’m not learning anything bc i don’t study and don’t care and am only wasting money :( it’s online classes and some classes are just rlly bad, like i’ve been doing ok bc i already knew a lot of things, but mostly i’m just skipping through everything :/ i wanna drop it again but henrique won’t let me :((( i do love my graphic design course though!!! and i also have bought some other online courses and i’m rlly excited to start them but i’m too lazy at the same time LMAO

knitting!!!!!!! god i’ve always wanted to learn how do knit!! it’s sooo cute that your doing a sweater!! i love sweaters lmao also i just watched the mv again and it’s rlly cute!!! though it’s rlly hot here now so i can’t even THINK about wearing a sweater lmao or even knitting rip ohhhh i love habit too!! i’m not a big fan of the check in song per se, but i do LOVE the mv! it’s rlly aesthetically pleasing

so! i love wonhui as cat lover bffs!!! they’re my fave ~pair~ in svt besides verkwan (for obviously reasons) bc i just love their dynamics sooo much, also i was kinda too much in love with wonwoo back in clap era and since i made this blog in that era it served just right!! i wanted the junhao url honestly but it’s not been available for years and the person using it haven’t posted anything since 2016 :////

ohhh i love shangri la!! never associated it with jun but i can TOTALLY see it!! again with the classy and royal kind of aesthetic that i always associate jun with LMAO

oh i love soft and fun things too but ballads… not my thing lmao have i said it? maybe i did but akjdnak esp winter themed i just find it meh, christmas ballad songs……… no thanks LMAO but i do like some ballads every once in a while, i love say yes and some vocal unit songs, (i also love miracles in december by exo, me, a christmas ballad hater LMAO)

my fave movie is meet the robinsons! i love animation movies the most, love studio ghibli ones and disney/pixar ones too! i also love horror movies and comedy (some romantic comedies too) i really can’t watch full on romance movies and i HATE dramas. i like to have fun watching stuff, this is why i rlly like animation ones bc they’re fun and funny and easy to watch since i have the attention spam of a 5 year old lmao what about you??? also jun does like animations and he’s a weeb too so we’re good

and as for hobbies… i like to listen to music, read sometimes and watch other people playing games lmao other than that i only really do things that i HAVE to do. besides being on youtube watching random stuff lmao i used to paint with watercolors but not even that i do anymore rip

#whew this got long #expected nothing less from myself #🍰 sss #sss19 #anon #asks #long post

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