angi-stfu - Tumblr blog

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oh its a post song its candy PAINT

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i wonder what happened to that song i have no idea what its called or who its by

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candy cane w the white on top lalallalaalalalla

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I'm sorry that I'm horrible and I mess everything up. I really didn't mean to, I thought I was doing ok and I hurt everyone and I didn't know I'm sorry

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im sorry that I wasted your time, there is so much better for you out there. There will be someone who isn't as bad as I am.

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or leave the world instead. It may be best for everyone. I'm so sorry my love I don't think I can do this, I'm so sorry that you had to deal with me in the first place. You were never a mistake, you were my greatest joy

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What do I do now. It won't go away, I will have to leave all my happiness behind

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everything hurts too much

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i don't think I can sleep well ever, it hurts too much

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i will never be happy or normal. I think this will eat me alive. I just want my life back before break I wish I wasn't so stupid. I've ruined the little bliss that I stole for myself

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I don't know how I became the worst daughter, all I wanted to do was make her happy. I thought it was possible to do that while finding my own happiness, or even through my own happiness. I was naive. I am being punished for it. Now I have nothing of my own and I no longer deserve my own things. It was foolish of me to believe anything like that from the start. I'm angry and sad, and I have no right to be as I did this to myself. I think there is something systematically wrong with me, as I can't ever be good for anyone. I hurt everyone I love the most and ruin everything I touch. My relationship was the only thing I felt confident in, and it's what makes the worst

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Its not like I can even say anything either, there's no one to tell.

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Maybe it's just being home again? The thoughts never stopped but they haven't been this intense for some time. Im still sad that I can't ever be a good person at the end of the day no matter how hard I try to be. I can't ever be myself at home or really anywhere else. I don't see why I should be here if there's nowhere to go

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I feel like I'm going insane and also like I've been grounded in a way I haven't been in a while. I haven't felt so certain about anything in a long time. It feels like the only thing I can ever be certain about. I don't know how long I can do this for everything hurts

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She says I have a habit of shutting people out like I don't do it for a reason. I apparently took away a right of hers as a mother for something that I didn't even care about.

I'm exhausted. I never shut anyone out, I only tried to set boundaries and listen to what people told me to do. The fact that she still doesn't understand that shows that she never listened at all

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I am having two wildly different conversations right now omfg

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Maybe i was delusional all along and this is just gonna be really painful and thats the way it has to be