#but how was I ever best friends with someone who made me feel like a burden or a nuisance for talking about the boys??????
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Shattered shield
After discovering Steve’s betrayal, your world falls apart. Heartbroken and doubting yourself, you find solace in the most unexpected place—Bucky Barnes, Steve’s best friend. You realise that the love you’ve been searching for has been with Bucky all along.
Possible TW - cheating, smut, betrayal.
You never thought you’d find yourself here—sitting alone in the quiet darkness of your apartment, the remnants of your relationship with Steve Rogers crumbling around you. You’d trusted him, believed in him, but that trust had been shattered the moment you caught him with someone else. Someone who wasn’t you.
It wasn’t supposed to happen like this. You were supposed to be enough. But the broken pieces of your heart told a different story.
The sound of a knock at the door pulled you from your thoughts. You frowned, wiping at your tear-streaked face as you stood. It was late, and you weren’t expecting anyone. But when you opened the door, you found Bucky Barnes standing there, his steel-blue eyes filled with concern.
“Bucky,” you said, your voice hoarse. “What are you doing here?”
“Steve told me,” he said simply, his voice low. “What happened.” Of course, he had. Steve and Bucky were best friends—brothers, even. It made sense that he’d turn to Bucky, though the thought sent a pang of resentment through you.
“Came to check on you,” Bucky continued, his gaze sweeping over your tear-stained face. “You okay?”
You stepped aside, letting him in without a word. He shut the door behind him, the weight of his presence filling the room as you sank back onto the couch.
“I’m fine,” you lied, though the quiver in your voice betrayed you.
Bucky scoffed, taking a seat across from you. “You’re a terrible liar, doll.”
You managed a weak smile, but it quickly faded as the silence settled between you. Bucky’s expression softened, and he leaned forward, his elbows resting on his knees.
“You didn’t deserve that,” he said, his voice steady but filled with emotion. “Steve screwed up. Big time.”
“I thought I was enough for him,” you whispered, your throat tightening with the weight of your heartbreak. “But I wasn’t.”
“Hey,” Bucky said, his tone firm as he moved to sit beside you. “That’s not on you. That’s on him. Don’t ever think you weren’t enough, because you are.”
The sincerity in his voice made your chest ache. You looked up at him, and for the first time, you noticed the intensity in his gaze, the way he looked at you like you were the only thing that mattered. It was a stark contrast to Steve’s wandering eyes.
“I don’t know how to feel,” you admitted, your voice breaking. “I’m angry. Hurt. But most of all, I feel stupid.”
“You’re not stupid,” Bucky said, his hand brushing against yours. His touch was warm, grounding. “You loved him. You gave him everything. That’s not stupid—that’s brave.”
His words struck a chord deep within you, and before you knew it, tears were streaming down your face again. Bucky pulled you into his arms without hesitation, holding you as you cried into his chest. His embrace was strong, steady, and for the first time in days, you felt safe.
——————————————————————
Weeks passed, and Bucky was there for you every step of the way. He never pushed, never asked for more than you could give. But the way he looked at you, the way he made you laugh when you thought you’d forgotten how—it all made your heart ache in a different way.
One night, you found yourself alone with him again, this time at his apartment. He’d invited you over for dinner, and you’d accepted, grateful for the distraction. But as the night wore on, the tension between you became impossible to ignore.
“Bucky,” you said softly, setting your glass of wine down. “Why are you doing all this?”
He frowned, leaning back in his chair. “What do you mean?”
“You’ve been there for me, more than anyone else. Why?” Your voice trembled as you met his gaze. “You don’t owe me anything.”
“Don’t you get it, doll?” he said, his voice raw. “I’m not doing this because I owe you. I’m doing it because I care about you.”
Your breath hitched, and he stood, crossing the room to kneel in front of you. His metal hand rested on your knee, while his flesh hand cupped your cheek.
“I’ve cared about you for a long time,” he admitted, his eyes searching yours. “But you were with Steve, and I’d never do that to him. But now…”
“Bucky,” you whispered, your heart racing.
“If this is too much, tell me,” he said, his voice barely above a whisper. “But I can’t keep pretending I don’t feel this way about you.”
You didn’t reply. Instead, you leaned forward, your lips meeting his in a kiss that was soft, tentative, and filled with unspoken longing. Bucky responded immediately, his hands pulling you closer as the kiss deepened.
“Are you sure about this?” he murmured against your lips, his voice thick with restraint.
“More sure than I’ve ever been,” you said, your fingers tangling in his hair.
That was all the encouragement he needed. He lifted you effortlessly, carrying you to the bedroom as his lips claimed yours again. The air was charged with a mix of desperation and tenderness as he laid you down, his hands exploring your body with reverence.
“I’ll take care of you,” he whispered, his lips brushing against your ear. “The way you deserve.”
And in that moment, you knew he meant it. Bucky wasn’t just a rebound or a distraction—he was your future.
#steve rogers x reader#steve rogers#cheating Steve rogers#cheat Steve rogers#cap#bucky x yn#bucky x you#bucky barnes#bucky smut#bucky barnes x reader#marvel#sebastian stan x reader#sebastian stan#bucky and steve#dark steve rogers#marvel fanfic#bucky fanfic#bucky x#Steve rogers x#winter soldier#marvel au#bucky au
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two.
a short series in which you share a multitude of kisses with childhood friends to lovers!kinich over your lifetime.
your bedroom feels overwhelmingly hot.
the a/c is on, you know because your curtains are billowing from the cool air pooling from the vent underneath them. summers are always this warm, when the humidity grows high and sweat sticks to your skin in layers.
kinich is laying on your bed, fanning himself with a stray magazine he had plucked from your nightstand. on days like these, it's too hot for you to even make the walk to the park down the street, or to the skatepark. you'd be drowning in sweat before you made it there, you're sure.
"so you've never kissed anyone?"
you don't even really remember how the conversation started. all you know is that the two of you had been talking about things you'd never done before, and you'd arrived at this. the girls in the locker room had been discussing it—their first kiss—including who it was with and what it was like.
the mere thought makes you gnaw at your lip, tension filling the room.
"...have you?" you reply, glancing over to your best friend. he doesn't seem nearly as bothered by the subject matter as you are.
"nope. i don't really care though," he sighs, which is so typical of him, you think. unlike you, kinich cares very little what the other kids in your grade think of him.
but you care, and you're starting to worry that you're falling behind in that...developmental area. you've managed to deflect any questions about the topic from the other girls in your class, but you fear that you won't be able to keep it up for long.
kinich sits up, shuffling forward on your bed to stare at where you sit on the ground. his gaze is inquisitive, and you suddenly feel very vulnerable.
"but let me guess," he starts, tossing his makeshift fan aside, "you care."
as always, he has you all figured out. after a moment of hesitation, you nod.
"i do. i know it's lame, but i feel like the other girls will think i'm..."
"a prude?"
you sigh. "something like that."
another moment passes before kinich is crawling off the bed, sitting cross-legged before you. his proximity makes the heat worse, but you don't hate it.
"alright," he shrugs, scooting closer. "then i'll kiss you, and you can tell everyone it was me."
you flinch in alarm, head knocking against the drawer of your wooden dresser. kinich's eyes widen, hands already outstretched toward you, but you interrupt him with your own spluttering.
"wh-what?! what are you talking about? you can't just do that!"
he tilts his head. "why not? is it because you're embarrassed for it to be me?"
"no!" you defend instantly. you'd never be embarrassed to be around kinich. "but...don't you want it to be with a girl you actually like?"
"i do like you."
you shake your head. you know what he means, but you were implying a different kind of like. still, the thought of sharing your first kiss with kinich isn't...awful. it's a bit comforting to share it with someone you trust, even moreso when you know that he hasn't done it before either.
finally, after thinking on it a bit more, you nod firmly.
"okay."
kinich raises a brow. "okay?"
and then he's leaning in, and you don't know whether to close your eyes or leave them open. you're trying to remember every teen romance movie you've ever watched after your mother went to bed, but your memory fails you. but he's already so close, and you rush forward a little too fast and—
your lips bump together clumsily, and you wince at the feeling. it's weird, certainly, and you're honestly not sure if you're doing it right at all. you can feel kinich's lashes brushing against your skin, and the feeling makes you shiver.
it's chaste, so brief that it's over before it even really registers in your mind that it happened. your mind is racing by the time kinich pulls away, and you find yourself meeting his eyes far too quickly.
his gaze is warm. "that okay?"
you nod, wondering what the blooming feeling in your chest could mean.
"yeah," you reply, swallowing thickly. "it was okay."
#genshin impact x reader#genshin x reader#kinich x reader#genshin impact#kinich#genshin impact imagines#genshin impact x you#kinich x you#adeptus ink
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In Your Car
Summary: When a forbidden attraction ignites between you and Cillian Murphy, your stepfather’s best friend, a simple drive in his car turns into a dangerously seductive night neither of you can resist.
Warnings: Age gap, smut.
Notes: hi loves. sorry it took me so long to update any story. i promise im going to be more active from now on. as an apology i bring to you this smutty one shot. its pure filth! enjoy.
************
The sun was just setting, and the city lights cast a soft glow through the streets as dusk deepened into night. You leaned in close to the mirror, swiping on a touch of gloss to make sure your lips looked just right. With a final check, you dusted a hint of blush over your cheeks, giving them a warm, natural flush. Just as you finished, you heard a familiar sound from outside.
Beep. Beep.
You peered through your bedroom window to see the man you'd been waiting for. Cillian’s sleek car idled by the curb, his arm draped casually over the open window as he glanced up, looking effortlessly cool.
You had known each other for a while now, but from the moment you met his piercing blue eyes, you couldn't get him out of your head. He was Paul’s—your stepfather’s—best friend, and when your mum and Paul moved in together, Cillian quickly became a regular guest at birthdays and random Friday night dinners.
At 48, Cillian was a seasoned actor with an easy charm, and his celebrity status had always intrigued you. But beyond that, he was genuinely kind and insightful, someone who made you feel seen in a way few others did. You admired his intelligence and the way he seemed to genuinely find you interesting, not just a "kid" tagging along.
Unbeknownst to you, he saw you as more than just Paul's stepdaughter. He enjoyed your company and was constantly surprised by your wit and insight. He appreciated the way you carried yourself—so youthful, confident, and quick to laugh. But there was no denying how beautiful he found you, even if he tried not to entertain the thought.
When the weather turned warmer, and you showed up in dresses that hugged your hips or swimsuits that left little to the imagination, he couldn’t help but steal glances. Each time, he caught himself, mentally reminding himself that you were off-limits. But it was complicated—he knew you were no longer a child. Nineteen now, freshly turned, and he couldn’t resist noticing how captivating you’d become.
Ever since you met him at 17, he’d stirred something in you, a curiosity and attraction you couldn’t shake. He was the first—and only—man you ever fantasized about when you touched yourself. You’d always had a thing for older men, and unlike the boys your age, he had a calm confidence and depth that drew you in. The musky aftershave he wore had you clenching your thighs together more times than you cared to admit.
The way he carried himself—with quiet confidence, intelligence, and a touch of shyness—made your stomach flutter every time. Cillian was a gentleman to the core, but he had no idea what his mere presence did to you. Some nights, you found yourself wishing he’d just throw caution to the wind, come to your room, and fuck your brains out.
It wasn’t like you were particularly sexual before him. Boys and hookups never interested you, and you were still a virgin. But Cillian? He was different.
“Can’t you knock, like the gentleman you are?” you teased, leaning out the window with a playful grin.
He smirked, glancing up at you with that familiar glint in his eyes. “And miss the grand entrance?” he quipped, his voice low and smooth, sending a shiver down your spine. “Come on down, love. Give me a kiss.”
Butterflies swirled in your stomach as you grabbed your bag and hurried downstairs, excitement bubbling beneath your skin. You sauntered toward his car, fully aware of the sway in your hips and how his gaze lingered on you. His eyes followed every curve, heating your skin.
Sliding into the passenger seat, you leaned over to greet him with a light kiss, your lips brushing his. The tip of your tongue grazed his in a brief, teasing flick before you pulled back, leaving him wanting more.
“This is a nice ride,” you said casually, running your fingers along the smooth leather of the interior as he pulled away from the curb.
He glanced at you, the corner of his mouth lifting in a knowing smirk. “Nice, is it? Wait till you see where it takes you.”
You laughed, the cheesy line making you roll your eyes even as you felt your heart race. As the city lights blurred past, his hand moved from the gear shift to your thigh, his fingers resting lightly at first, then tracing slow, idle circles against your skin. A spark shot through you, warmth pooling deep in your core.
“You always drive this fast,” you teased, glancing over at him, “or are you just trying to impress me?”
His lips curved into a slow, teasing smile, his eyes flicking briefly to yours before returning to the road. “Depends,” he said, voice like honey. “Is it working?”
You chuckled, leaning back in your seat with a coy smile. “Hmm… maybe a little. But you’ll have to do better than that, Cillian.”
”He raised an eyebrow, his thumb pausing for a moment before resuming its lazy motion on your thigh. “Oh, I’m just getting started, love,” he murmured, his accent thickening, sending a shiver down your spine. “Let me know when I’ve got your full attention.”
You often flirted and teased each other like this, the charged banter lingering between you but never quite crossing the line. Well, except for that one time on Paul’s birthday.
It was reckless, thrilling, and so deliciously wrong. You’d pulled him into a closet while the party bustled just outside, sinking to your knees and swallowing him whole without hesitation. He didn’t resist. How could he? The way you looked up at him, mischief glinting in your eyes, made it impossible to deny you.
Your lips stretched around his thick cock, taking him in with an eagerness that left him undone. His breath hitched as your mouth worked him over, your tongue and lips moving in perfect rhythm. The soft, wet sounds mingled with the muffled chatter from the next room, the risk of discovery only adding to the heat between you.
Cillian could hardly believe how perfect it felt—the way your mouth enveloped him, as if made just for him. And those eyes, gazing up at him through thick lashes, sent a shudder through his body. When he came, it was with a groan he barely managed to stifle, his hands tangled in your hair as you swallowed him down without missing a beat.
Then, as if nothing had happened, you slipped back into the party with a sly smile, leaving him breathless, dazed, and entirely captivated.
It had felt so natural, so right. Later that night, after the guests had left and the house had grown quiet, he came upstairs. Standing at your bedroom door, he kissed you goodnight—a slow, lingering kiss that left no room for confusion. With a husky murmur, he promised you more, whispering that he’d make it up to you with a proper night, just the two of you.
And now, here you were, in the car of a man twice your age, hurtling toward a situation that was anything but appropriate.
You turned your head to him, biting your lip as a sly smile spread across your face. “You already have it,” you said softly, your voice dripping with mischief.
“I mean…” Your voice was soft and playful. “I’ve waited long enough for this night. How could I not?” you murmured, a spark of mischief dancing in your eyes.
A small smile lingered on his lips as he took in your words, his hand giving a light squeeze on your thigh, and his piercing blue gaze holding yours with undeniable intensity. “Long enough, hmm?”
Your hand moved to rest on his leg, fingers grazing the muscle beneath, while you leaned in close to place kisses on his neck. “Yeah,” you whispered into his ear, your voice barely more than a breath, laced with anticipation.
Cillian tilted his head slightly, granting you better access, his focus split between the road and the feel of your lips trailing along the sensitive skin near his ear. The faint scent of his cologne mixed with the warmth radiating from him as you nibbled lightly at the delicate spot behind his ear. He let out a low hum of approval, his Irish lilt thick and husky as he warned, “Careful now. Don’t tempt me while I’m driving.”
“Tempt you?” you replied innocently, though your actions betrayed you as your hand drifted lower, pressing lightly against the growing bulge in his jeans. “I’d never.”
With a practiced ease, you unbuckled his belt, your hands deftly pushing down his waistband and briefs. His cock sprang free, and you couldn’t help but marvel at the sight of him, your mouth already watering. Wrapping your fingers around his length, you began to stroke him slowly, savoring the way he twitched in your grasp.
Cillian’s knuckles whitened on the steering wheel as he gritted his teeth, his breaths coming harder. You met his heated gaze before leaning down, spitting lightly on his reddened tip to make your movements smoother—a bold act that earned you a deep groan from him.
The salty taste of his precum touched your tongue as you teased him, rubbing your lips over his sensitive head before dipping lower. Hollowing your cheeks, you took him into your mouth inch by inch, swallowing him whole.
“Fuck,” he groaned, his hand tangling in your hair as his hips bucked upward involuntarily.
You loved the power you had over him, the way his restraint faltered under your touch. Bobbing your head, you pressed your tongue against the underside of his shaft, occasionally letting your teeth graze him just enough to make his breath hitch.
“Yeah, baby. Just like that,” he rasped, his voice rough and low, sending a jolt of arousal straight to your core. You felt yourself grow wetter at the sound of him, his words igniting a fire within you.
Suddenly, the car slowed and came to a stop. You barely noticed until he parked at a secluded viewpoint, where the city lights shimmered across the sea in the distance. His voice was thick with amusement and desire as he leaned back, his eyes dark with lust. “You dirty girl. Couldn’t wait, could you?”
You pulled back just enough to look at him, your lips swollen and glistening. “Mmm-mmm,” you whined softly, shaking your head with a needy expression.
Cillian’s hand slid down to caress your ass, his touch light and deliberate as his fingers traced the curve of your body. He pressed gently against your core, where your warmth had already soaked through the thin fabric of your jeans.
“Come ‘ere,” he demanded, his voice low and commanding.
You gave his length one last kiss before pulling back to slip out of your jeans, hurried and eager, desperate to seize this moment. You’d waited so long for this, and deep down, you didn’t know if it would ever happen again. You were determined to savor every second.
Cillian reached over, reclining the seat slightly as you climbed over to straddle him. Your lace thong was the only barrier left between you, the thin fabric doing little to conceal how much you wanted him.
You didn’t waste a second, pulling him into a hungry kiss, your hands gripping the sides of his face to hold him close. Teeth clashed as your lips molded together, your shared urgency overriding any finesse. His big hands gripped your hips, roaming down to feel the smooth skin of your bare ass. With a low groan, he guided your body to grind against him, the friction pulling a gasp from your lips.
You broke the kiss briefly, tugging at the hem of his black T-shirt, your fingers slipping under the fabric to feel the heat of his skin. Cillian lifted his arms without hesitation, letting you pull it over his head and toss it aside, revealing the defined lines of his chest and the taut muscles of his shoulders. You bit your lip, eyes raking over him before pressing your palms flat against his skin, feeling the warmth radiating beneath your touch.
His mouth muffled your moans as his fingers slipped your underwear aside, brushing over your slick folds. He found your clit with ease, rubbing slow circles before sliding a finger inside you. Your head tipped back, a soft cry escaping as he added another, curling them upward to find the spot that made you see stars.
Cillian pressed kisses along your neck and chest, his stubble grazing your skin as you rocked against his hand. Each deliberate stroke and teasing curl of his fingers built a fire in your core, the knot in your stomach tightening with every passing second. His thumb circled your clit, his rhythm steady and maddening, and the way his fingers moved—deliberate and skilled—had you teetering on the edge.
You were so close, your breaths coming in short, shallow gasps. But just as the tension was about to snap, he withdrew his hand. A frustrated whimper left your lips as he used his slick-coated fingers to tease you further, running them over your folds and circling your clit again, his dark eyes locking onto yours.
“Do you have a condom?” he murmured, his voice hoarse.
“No… it’s fine,” you breathed, too lost in the moment to care about the consequences. The only thought in your mind was how badly you needed him. You’d deal with everything else later.
Cillian’s lips quirked into a faint smile as he eased his fingers inside you one last time, stroking slowly before pulling them away. He wrapped his hand around his length, pumping himself a few times before positioning his tip at your entrance.
The initial stretch was intense, a sharp burn that quickly melted into pleasure. You hissed softly, your nails digging into his shoulders as he pushed deeper, inch by inch. He paused halfway, his hands firm on your hips, guiding you down onto him as you adjusted to his size.
“Relax, love,” he murmured, his free hand reaching up to brush your hair back. Then, with a teasing glint in his eyes, he brought his slick fingers to your lips.
You parted them willingly, sucking on his fingers, tasting yourself as he muffled your soft whines. His other hand pressed down on your hips again, guiding you to take him fully, and the sensation of being filled so completely left you trembling.
You gasped sharply as he slid deeper, the stretch pulling a startled whimper from your throat. Your nails dug into his shoulders, leaving faint red crescents against his skin as you struggled to take him all in. The pressure was overwhelming, teetering between pain and pleasure, and your body trembled with the effort.
Cillian’s hands gripped your hips firmly, his thumbs brushing soothing circles against your skin. “You’re so bloody tight,” he murmured, his voice hoarse and strained, his eyes burning as they stayed locked on yours.
A shaky laugh escaped you despite the intensity. “You… you’re not exactly small,” you managed to joke, biting your lip to suppress another gasp.
The corner of his mouth twitched into a smirk, but the heat in his gaze remained unwavering. “Is that right?” His voice was low and teasing, though his breath hitched as you adjusted around him. “We’ll make it fit, love.”
You exhaled shakily and forced yourself to relax, easing down until he was fully sheathed inside you. The fullness was dizzying, almost too much, but the way his hands guided you made it easier, his steady presence grounding you.
“Good girl,” he rasped, his grip tightening as he fought to keep still, his cock twitching inside you. “Takin’ me so well.”
The praise sent a shiver through you, and you rolled your hips experimentally, testing the friction. A gasp escaped as sparks of pleasure replaced the discomfort, and you couldn’t help the small moan that followed.
“Fuck,” he groaned, his head tipping back as his fingers dug into your hips. “You feel so good.”
Encouraged by his reaction, you began to move more confidently, setting a slow rhythm that had both of you moaning softly. The way his cock stretched you was perfect, hitting spots inside you that made your head spin.
“You’re incredible,” he muttered, his voice thick with desire as his hands roamed over your back and ass, pulling you closer. “Can’t believe how good you feel.”
His words only spurred you on, and you leaned forward, bracing your hands on the car seat as you began to pick up the pace. The friction built steadily, a delicious pressure that made you moan louder with every movement.
Cillian’s hands slid down to your ass, gripping firmly as you moved up and down his shaft. “That’s it,” he encouraged, his voice trembling slightly. “Ride me, baby. Just like that.”
Your nails raked lightly across his chest, leaving faint marks as you threw your head back, your hair cascading wildly around your face. “God,” you whimpered, your thighs burning as you moved faster, grinding against him with reckless abandon.
The sound of his moans only fueled your desire. Low, guttural noises spilled from his lips, mixing with soft whimpers as he tilted his head back, his Adam’s apple bobbing as he swallowed hard. “You’re killin’ me,” he murmured, his voice cracking. “You’re so perfect.”
Leaning down, you pressed your lips to his in a messy, desperate kiss. Your teeth clashed briefly before his tongue slid against yours, deepening the kiss as his hips bucked upward, driving deeper into you.
“Cillian,” you gasped against his mouth, your voice trembling with need. “Don’t stop.”
“Never,” he promised, his breath hot and uneven as he kissed you fiercely, his hands guiding your movements with increasing urgency.
The pace grew frantic, both of you chasing the peak as the car windows fogged, filled with the sound of your moans and the slick, rhythmic slap of skin against skin. Your thighs burned, your body trembling from the effort, but you couldn’t stop—the pleasure was too intense, too consuming.
Your hips moved up and down at a delicious rhythm. Cillian’s gaze fixed on you, awe filling his eyes as he watched the expression of pure pleasure on your face. He looked down to where you were both connected. Fuck. If he could capture this moment, it felt and looked so perfect, like it was meant only for him.
Cillian’s groans grew louder, his voice rough and raw as he murmured your name like a prayer. “Fuck,” he hissed, his hands sliding up to cup your face, pulling you into another kiss as his hips thrust upward to meet yours. “You’re so bloody perfect, love.”
The knot in your stomach tightened, the pressure building to an almost unbearable intensity. You could feel him pulsing inside you, his moans and gasps growing more desperate as he edged closer to his release.
“Cillian,” you cried out, your voice breaking as your movements grew erratic, the pleasure overwhelming. “I’m—oh, God!”
“I know, baby,” he groaned, his voice shaking. “Come for me. Let me feel you.”
His words sent you spiraling, the coil snapping as your orgasm crashed over you with devastating force. Your body convulsed, your walls clenching around him as wave after wave of pleasure wracked your frame.
Cillian followed moments later, a deep, guttural moan tearing from his throat as he buried himself deep inside you. His body trembled as his release poured into you, holding you tightly as his hands roamed over your back, whispering soothing words against your skin.
You collapsed against him, your breaths coming in ragged gasps as the aftershocks pulsed through you. His arms wrapped around you protectively, his lips pressing gentle kisses to your shoulder.
You stayed in silence for a few moments, both of you catching your breath as the haze of pleasure slowly lifted. Your chest rose and fell against his, your heartbeat echoing in the quiet intimacy of the car. Cillian’s hands slid up to your face, his touch gentle as he tucked stray strands of hair behind your ear. His eyes softened as they met yours, his thumb brushing lightly against your flushed cheek.
“You’re so beautiful,” he murmured, his voice low and tender.
You smiled shyly, leaning in to press a soft, lingering kiss to his lips. The tenderness of the moment contrasted sharply with the intensity of what had just happened, and it made your heart swell. His lips moved against yours slowly, savoring the connection, until you pulled back, resting your forehead against his.
Reluctantly, you lifted yourself off him, biting your lip as you felt the residual ache from his size. A string of wetness stretched between your bodies, a vivid reminder of your shared passion. You couldn’t resist trailing your fingers down to feel yourself, gasping softly as you realized how full you were. His release, warm and sticky, was still dripping out of you, mingling with your own arousal. The sensation sent a shiver through your body.
As you lifted your fingers, you noticed the faint tint of blood mixed in. Your breath hitched, the realization sinking in. “Is that—” you paused, staring at the evidence on your fingertips, then glanced at him, your lips curving into a sheepish, almost awed smile. “Blood?”
Cillian’s eyes flickered with concern, his brows furrowing. “Are you all right, love? Did I hurt you?”
You shook your head quickly, your cheeks heating. “No, it’s… it’s fine. It’s from—well, you know.” Your voice trailed off, a mixture of embarrassment and pride. “It just… felt so good.”
Relief washed over his features, though his gaze remained steady on yours. “You should’ve told me,” he said softly, his thumb tracing soothing circles on your thigh. “I would’ve been more careful.”
“I didn’t want you to be,” you replied, your voice barely above a whisper. Then, emboldened by the intimacy, you brought your fingers to your mouth, licking them clean with a teasing glint in your eyes.
“Tastes like us.”
A guttural groan escaped him as he ran a hand through his damp hair. “You’re going to be the death of me, you know that?”
You laughed softly, leaning back against the seat as you took a deep breath, letting the moment settle around you. Outside, the city lights twinkled, reflecting off the sea in the distance. The world seemed far away, like it belonged to someone else, as you basked in the aftermath of your time together.
Cillian reached for your hand, his fingers lacing with yours. “We should get you cleaned up,” he said, his voice still rough but filled with care. “And maybe find somewhere more comfortable than this car.”
You smirked, tilting your head at him playfully. “Comfortable? Don’t tell me you’re tired already, old man.”
A low chuckle rumbled in his chest as he leaned in close, his lips brushing against your ear. “Careful, love. I’ve got plenty left in me, and now you’ve started something we’re not finished with yet.”
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#cillian murphy x y/n#cillian x reader#cillian x fem!reader#cillian fic#cillian murphy#cillian murphy x you#cillian murphy x reader#cillian murphy fanfiction#cillian fanfic#cillian smut#smut#diet pepsi
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›› there must be a good reason that you're gone
sypnosis -» we don't talk anymore like we used to do , what was all of it for?
beware -» angst , nasty break up , going against girl code(?) , twice mentioned, lara x reader mentioned
talks -» for my anon 🫢!! hi missed you soo much
taglist (open) : @nyssalvr @ohmyhaely @vrtualstar @jellaaa @c-yerim
you don't know where you went wrong — did you give too little love? did you not give her enough attention? yet as much as you asked yourself nothing came up nothing answered you
moments that lingered in your mind made it seem like you were the problem yet you never were , sophia has never been loyal as much as you tried to make it seem like , she's always behind your back talking to a new woman
you only reached your breaking point when she started forgetting important dates such as your birthday, your anniversary and the day you both made it official
"now the maknae! hello y/n , the question for you is , have you ever broken up with someone and how did it go" the interviewer asks as he approached you
"이 질문에 대답할 수 있나요? (can we answer this)" nayeon asks looking behind the cameras towards their manager who just nods
"ohh , well uhm I have had one and it really was a bit messy , yet I think that was a very good lesson for me" you answer recalling everything that happened during that night , "우리 막내가 다 컸네요! (our maknae is all grown up)" jihyo says giggling as the rest say all their memories when you first debuted
"that sums it up, again twice everyone!" the host says before you and your group bid goodbye , " one in a million! we are twice!" the group says "우리 새 노래를 들어주세요 Strategy! (please listen to our new song strategy)" momo says before the cameras cut
ᯓ ᡣ𐭩
after the program you secretly went out to meet your now girlfriend lara , after the break up you didn't really know what to do but good thing she was there and from that point forward you both started dating
"hi love!" you said hugging lara as she ran up to you to hug you as well , "I missed you! , anyways let's go?" lara asks leading you inside the kats dorm
inside the dorm you were greeted by manon who was sitting down watching some tiktoks "hey" you greet
finally making it to lara's room she sits you down on her bed as she takes a seat on your lap, "so you miss me?" you ask cocky about her missing you , "obviously miss y/n" she replied
just before both your lips touch the door opens with sophia oblivious that you were here , "lara have you seen my- oh sorry" she says looking at the scene before her you and lara just being lovey dovey , suddenly the whole mood changed lara was now on the bed next to you sensing the unease , as sophia exits you two let out a heavy sigh
"baby I feel guilty, I mean she's my friend and I date her ex?" lara admits you look at the frown on her lips you held her face with your hands making her look at you "baby I understand , but know that she did something I probably won't forgive her for"
"ill never do that to you" lara says
"I hope not , that's the exact words sophia said" you chuckle remembering the countless lies she told you
ᯓ ᡣ𐭩
it was late yet you couldn't sleep so you left lara on the bed to get some water , at the kitchen was her , sophia
"hey" she greets , you took note of how she was still wearing the bracelet you gave her for your first monthsary
"hello , just need some water" you replied awkwardly , you get to the fridge and take out lara's water bottle and drink out of it
you were walking back by this point , but you hear sophia mutter something , "I'm sorry , could you maybe give me a second chance?"
"no soph , I'm tired plus me and lara are together , I've never felt any better with anyone else" you replied trying your best not to look at her , and just continue walking
"how is that okay? — we break up and you get with my friend? , how fucked up is that?" she reasons as you hear her sniffle
"soph , you cannot be talking about what's fucked up when you cheated on me , fuck I'm not gonna have this conversation again, goodnight" you replied mad at her audacity to get upset over you picking lara , yet you didn't mention that instead going inside the girls room
"babe? — where'd you go?" lara asks in a groggy voice as she opens her eyes , you're so glad you chose the woman who knows how to treat you
"just drank some water love" you replied trying not to sound like you just finished crying , you both lay down with her in the crook of your neck as she hums a gentle tune
"I love you so much" you whisper as you place a kiss on her head
#katseye imagines#katseye x reader#lara katseye#sophia katseye#sophia x reader#lara x reader#lara raj imagines#lara raj#sophia laforteza#sophia laforteza imagines
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walkin out the door with your bags — grayson hawthorne x reader — part 7
⤷ “pour your glass of wine // mitchell told me i should be just fine,”
summary: you and grayson haven’t talked in a while, and things stir up in the world around you and in your mind. luckily, you have the best best friend by your side. wc: 2.0k a/n: hey siri.. play two people by gracie abrams… (said sadly) series masterlist — other parts
previously on part 6…
“he looked at you like he didn’t know what to say, his mouth opening and closing before he finally settled on just staying silent.
you still felt like there was a million unspoken words that needed to be said, but you turned and walked away.
for once, you didn’t wait to see if he’d try again.
you willed your feet to move and not think about how he looked behind you, because if you did, even for a second, you had a feeling you’d turn right back.”
—
it had been a few weeks since you and grayson stopped talking. yeah— weeks. that was the longest you had gone without talking to him since you’ve known him. isn’t that strange?
it was driving you crazy, the amount of times you saw something that reminded you of him, or your friendship, and you wanted to send it to him, only to remember you couldn’t. you weren’t friends, and you had him blocked on basically everything.
or the amount of times you saw something only the two of you would understand, something that would’ve made you laugh, and just feel saddened by it. it felt like your memories were split between the two of you.
there was a thing that was even stranger, though— he had started seeing someone.
at least that’s what it looked like, with the posts she’d put on her social media. she had posted a picture of the back of a blonde head you could recognize anywhere in-front of the sunset, and one of her walking with someone holding her shopping bags— and the hand had the faintest scar on it’s thumb, it was almost impossible to notice. and it was a scar that only you knew the backstory to.
there was that— and the countless paparazzi photos online— ‘grayson hawthorne’s possible new girlfriend? the mysterious blonde hawthorne has a new hot date! grayson and his interesting new friend ella spotted in…’ it was sickening.
he would go to extreme lengths to never have paparazzi find you back when you hung out. always in quiet, secluded areas. you never thought much of it before, but now it looked like it had a whole new meaning.
was he embarrassed? did he not want to be seen with you? did he— you off your thoughts before you spiraled.
she was gorgeous, you couldn’t deny it.
and the worst part? she was an absolute sweetheart. there wasn’t a single reason to hate her.
you hated yourself more for even looking for a reason to.
the thing is though, he was never yours. sure, he wiped the tears off of your cheeks when you cried, gave you the kisses you could only dream of, confided in you about things he didn’t tell his family, and he was your best friend. but he was never simply just yours.
besides, you were the one who made sure that any chance of you happening was gone permanently. he asked to talk, and you talked. then you went home crying.
this was grayson you were talking about: if he wanted something, he found a way to get it. that being said, if he wanted to be with you, or even just still be your friend, he would’ve said something.
he didn’t.
if ella was what he wanted, then you just had to deal with it.
you weren’t ever like this, you promised yourself you would never be that girl. green and sick with jealousy, questioning her own self worth.
but hey, you promised each other you’d be there for each other always, did you not? seems like promises didn’t mean all that much anymore.
—
“you don’t get it, gigi.” you exclaimed frustratedly as you wiped your angry tears away.
you had just stormed out of a club you were at with your friends. the bustling music and bright flashing lights stopped again as the door shut behind gigi, after she ran after you. the music could still be heard slightly, but it was muffled heavily behind the door.
your friends wanted you to go kiss random guys, drink until you couldn’t feel anything, and for a few days, you did. and it almost worked, but it just made you feel horrible now. a few of them even made crude jokes about grayson and ella.
you didn’t feel like yourself— you didn’t even like yourself. how could you ever expect grayson to?
“he just doesn’t care if i look pretty, or if i’m doing better, or any of these other things.” you pointed out exaggeratedly, knowing you were taking it out on the wrong person, but you couldn’t stop yourself.
“you know what?” you said through a cruel chuckle. “the worst part is that he would probably be happy for me that i’m moving on, or looking better, being myself, or whatever the hell you guys say i should do.”
you gestured to the door of the buildings where the rest of your friends sat, frustration running all the way to your fingertips.
“he wouldn’t get jealous.” you said, angry at yourself that you got jealous. “he’s a good person, and that’s why it hurts so much. that’s why i’m ‘not over it in 2 weeks like i usually am.’” you continued, almost choking on your words by now.
you were so angry that all your friends expected you to just get over it. they don’t know what its like to feel that kind of love one day, and find out the other person didn’t even think of you like that.
to find out that he thought of someone else like that.
and somehow, even through the pounding of your ears and burning throat, you had even more to say.
“he’s surrounded by pretty girls every day, gigi, the only difference is he actually wants to be with one, and it’s not me. and that’s fine.” you put on your most level voice, and after a moment added, “it has to be fine.”
you sniffled, and decided from then on you were not going to let grayson hawthorne, or more so the lack of him, dictate your life for a second longer.
gigi stood there wide eyes, her mouth opening to speak, then shutting. then opening again, then shutting. “i…” she managed, and your heart almost tore as you noticed her eyes were glossy now.
fuck, you messed up.
“geeg,” you took a tentative step towards her, the nickname coming out before you could even think. you held out a hand as if to stop her from moving, “wait, gigi—“
“— no, i’m sorry. i messed everything up.” she shook her head apologetically as she looked at you, her voice breaking, and in turn breaking your heart. “i— you guys were perfect friends before. and i, i— i ruined it all by trying to play matchmaker.”
“what?” you breathed out, rapidly shaking your head. “no no no, none of this is your fault. you didn’t do anything, i was stupid, and he kissed me. those were our choices, you didn’t force anything— i didn’t mean to take it out on you. you did nothing wrong gigi,”
“stop,” she said through a forced laugh, bringing herself to smile. you knew it was a fake one, and she knew you knew. but she kept on smiling anyway.
“it’s okay, you don’t have to say that.” she spoke through a laugh, a bleak contrast to the pained expression on her face. it was tearing your soul by the second. she wiped her eyes with the back of her hand harshly.
“i should’ve just left everything alone.” gigi tore here eyes away from you, and to the ground. “why do i never leave anything alone?“ she exhaled through a sad laugh. you noticed she started to talk faster, and more so speaking to herself. you picked up on her hands fiddling with themselves, then she toyed with the hem of her shirt.
“no, gigi, look at me.” you waited until her wide blue eyes locked on yours, her wet lashes clumped together. “you didn’t do anything wrong.”
“i did though, and now gray isn’t acting like himself, you’re not okay, and i’m the worst best friend and sister in the world.”
“gigi,” you gave her a sympathetic look as your shoulders sagged. you couldn’t begin to think about how you could express how much you loved her.
you pulled her into a hug, and her arms stayed glued to her sides for a moment, before finally hugging you back 10x harder.
you screwed your eyes shut as you felt her cry on your shoulder.
“geeg, you have no idea how light my life got the second you entered it,” you mumbled into the hug. “and, i mean— so what if me and grayson aren’t friends anymore? that doesn’t matter, not as much as your friendship matters.”
gigis breathing slowed, and she was sniffling now. the thing that mattered was that she wasn’t crying.
you continued, “he’s not the one i dance with late at night and watch shitty reality tv with in bed the next morning. he’s not the one who i laugh wicker the stupidest things with for hours on end. he’s not the person i text first when something happens. he’s not my best friend.”
not anymore, and he probably never would be ever again.
you felt gigi laugh sadly through a sniffle, still on your shoulder. she was silent for a long moment. then she mumbled, “we’re pretty damn amazing, aren’t we?” she lifted her head and looked at you.
“yeah, we sort of are.” you smiled at her, watching as she wiped her tears and took a deep breath in.
“you know,” she mumbled, “i really really hate my brother.” she said as she straightened her clothes, exhaling a long breath as she shook her head.
“yeah,” you sighed, lying straight through your teeth. “me and you both.”
you more so hated him because you couldn’t really hate him. not fully hate him, anyway.
gigi let the lie slide straight through, changing the subject with a laugh as she leaned forward and fluffed up your hair.
“let’s get inside before we get hypothermia.” she took your hand and led you to the door, “our outfits are not built for the cold.”
“oh, yeah. i know that’s for sure.” you laughed, faking shivering and clattering your teeth. you followed gigi into the doors of the music and bright lights.
for once, you actually looking forward to the night you had ahead of you.
because, you knew you and gigi would grab your purses and go straight home, rewatch your favorite movies until sunrise, and then spend the day dancing to your favorite songs with your favorite person. and repeat until you ran out of baked goods and coffee.
that was what healing was. to you at least.
—
“okay but like,” gigi said, before popping another marshmallow in her mouth.
“have you seen yourself? it’s like, your eyes like— hold the secrets to the universe in them.” she swore solemnly, raising her eyebrows for added effect. “i could look in them forever and eveeerrrrr.”
she tilted her head, eyes widening as she dragged the last word; looking like she was in a hypnotized state.
“gigi, stop.” you laughed as you felt your face redden, pushing her shoulder away.
“sorry,” she didn’t let her act slip up for a single second. “i’m just a little mesmerized right now.”
“you’re not funny,” the laugh threatening to break out said otherwise.
“just give me a moment. i’m just committing this scene to memory so i’ll see you in my dreams,” her voice was all robot-like, she always knew how to cheer you up in the most ridiculous ways. “the day isn’t enough time—“
“shut up,” you giggled, hiding your face as gigi leaned back, throwing her head back in laughter.
you shook your head, rubbing your eyes as you continued to chuckle. once you’d both settled down, gigi spoke again, more serious this time.
she leaned her head back on the couch, looking at you fondly. “i’m sorry my brother is a d1 douche bag. if he had a dollar every time he was literally the worst person ever, he’d be richer than avery.”
you managed a small laugh. “tell me about it,” you said, then after a moment of giggles, you spoke again. “i love you more, geeg. way more than you know.”
—
it was bordering between late night and early morning when you woke up. gigi’s limbs were strewn across the king-sized bed you lay on. you could hear her soft snores.
you turned over and gave her a glance, and her hair was all over the place in the most endearing, gigi way.
she’s going to struggle with that tomorrow, you thought. you laughed to yourself, before reaching over blindly for your phone, the notifications of which you forgot to silence, being the whole reason you were awake now.
2:32 the time read, and you scrolled down to read your notifications.
your smile faded faster than you could ever imagine. there was a crater in your chest, and a hole in your stomach.
earlier notifications:
**A blocked number wants to message you. Accept?**
— I’m sorry. — I’ve made many mistakes in my life. I can’t let losing you be another.
**Tap here to delete this message, and all previous conversation.**
a/n: gigi my girl ☹️ sorry for the recent influx of angst help idk what happened taglist: @x-liv25-jamieswife @wish-i-were-heather @thecircularlibrary @whatsamongus @littlemissmentallyunstable
@anintellectualintellectual @lovethornes @maybxlle @sheisntyou @emelia07
@midiosaamor @sweetreveriee @charsoamerican @hxress23 @imaseabear
@clarissaweasley-10 @off-to-the-r4ces @thelov3lybookworm @graysw1fe @lanterns-and-daydreams
@hermesenthusiast @moonnsstruckksworld @that-daughter-of-hephaestus @apollosmusee @hijabi-desi-bookworm
@goldi-1-graysons-version @saigonharrington
#grayson hawthorne x reader#grayson hawthorne#grayson hawthorne fanfic#the grandest game#the inheritance games#jameson hawthorne#xander hawthorne#nash hawthorne#gigi grayson#tig#tgg#grayson hawthorne headcanons#grayson hawthorne imagine#grayson hawthorne x you#❦ jude writes
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#this one goes out to the Beejdunking Brigade #i want bj to get better but i know he's just going to keep fighting it forever. if a warzone can't kill his ego idk what possibly could #peg takes the house and kid and dog and bj goes to maine as his backup plan and is greeted by mulcahy looking happier than ever #maybe then-- MAYYYYBE-- he can finally realize that there are consequences to shitting where you eat
I wrote Peg Hunnicutt in All We Know (will be posting the first chapter from her POV in December) as a woman who decided to stay married to BJ and made it work (and they had more children) (and BJ is a good dad). But I also wrote her - deliberately,consciously - as the kind of housewife for whom The Feminine Mystique was written when Betty Friedan was considering "The Problem That Has No Name." (Yes, I know she has a realtor's licence in "The Party" - for various reasons I decided that didn't turn into a career.) And while thinking about Peg Hunnicutt reading Betty Friedan's book when it was hot off the presses in 1963, I started to think about Peg Hunnicutt, home in Mill Valley, waiting for her husband to come home from the war - and I thought about the beejhawk narrative: BJ and Hawkeye fell in love during the war, and -
What About Peg?
So I wrote the story of BJ and Hawkeye coming home from the war, and the stranger in the house, from Peg Hunnicutt's POV: The Hunnicutt Mystique.
I don't intend to ever write a sequel to The Hunnicutt Mystique, not because I can't think of one but because I can easily think of half a dozen: and how do you pin someone as complex as BJ down to one ending? To me, BJ Hunnicutt's tragedy is that, all of his life, he has been top of the heap, king of the hill: tall and handsome and good at sports, good in his classes: he works hard for what he's got but he's starting from a privileged position which he does not in the least recognize. While an instinctively cruel person (he enjoys practical jokes) BJ recognises that being kind is better than being cruel, and he wants to be a good man, and he struggles to live up to his own ideals.
That BJ's ideals are very much that of a man who was born in the 1920s and came of age into the period where US media was pushing the narrative that a perfect family is one where the man leads and the woman follows, the man earns and has a career, and the woman stays home and is absorbed in housework and children, is of course not his fault; but I can't think that BJ ever examined this very hard. He wants to be Peg's perfect husband and Erin's perfect father, and the draft took him away from them and Peg spent two years learning to be just fine on her own.
And BJ went to the 4077th, where he found that - try as he might - he would never, there, be the man whose attention everyone competes for: he would never be top of the heap, king of the hill, recognised as the best surgeon, the funniest man, the one whose attention and approval everyone competes for - because Hawkeye got there first and BJ cannot win in any contest except those that Hawkeye frankly doesn't care about, like physical strength or chess. To make matters worse: BJ adores Hawkeye. Hawkeye is wonderful and kind and funny and knows exactly what to do in the weirdest situation BJ has ever been in. Hawkeye says, frankly and openly, that BJ is his best friend. (Except there was Trapper, who was also Hawkeye's best friend.) But if BJ is Hawkeye's best friend, Hawkeye feels no need to compete for BJ's attention: he assumes he'll have BJ's attention if he wants it, and if BJ is busy or preoccupied and brushes Hawkeye off, Hawkeye goes off to spend time with other friends and really doesn't seem to mind, or try harder for BJ's attention next time. To make matters even worse: Hawkeye keeps winning all of the contests without even seeming to try, and Hawkeye thinks BJ's work is good and offers praise and tries to find ways for BJ to shine - Hawkeye is BJ's age and all but a year in Korea equivalent in experience: but Hawkeye behaves as if he had authority over BJ. I think BJ would love to be able to take Hawkeye home and look after him. BJ would love to be in a situation where - as BJ sees it - the natural order of things is back: BJ is everyone's main guy, and Hawkeye is his best friend because BJ chose him, not because BJ fetched up at the 4077th and fell into Hawkeye's best-friend position.
And what if - Hawkeye's and BJ's relationship is exactly what we see it is in the series, but Hawkeye is in a loving, romantic, sexual relationship with Mulcahy?
meme redraw ft captain hunnicuck
the thing about hawkahy is i think it presents a wonderful character development opportunity for beej once he accepts that his waifish wifeable roommate picked a shorter, sweeter, quieter, poorer partner over the big man on campus who took him for granted enough to punch him in the face and then act like nothing happened, because it turns out hawkeye values honesty and empathy over whatever the hell is going on with bj. maybe eating his own heart out is the first step to getting over himself
#bj hunnicutt#hawkeye pierce#hawkahy#how does hawkahy impact on beejhawk if - Hawkeye's and BJ's relationship is exactly what we see it is in the series?#mashposting#art
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Hi I'm back with another Movie!juice request! This time it kinda ties back to the friends with benefits one; this time with an alternate way of Beetlejuice confessing!
So one day Beetlejuice gets drunk and the reader stays sober to watch over him so he doesn't cause too much chaos. He gets touchy, no surprise there, but then...his touches get more tender and he starts absentmindedly rambling on about how much he loves the reader and how he wants to marry them someday, not because of the freedom it'll give him but just being their husband in general...
Then he passes out
The next morning he doesn't remember what he confessed and the reader, hiding how giddy they are, is like "so, BJ, got something you wanna tell me~?" And he ends up confessing to them that everything he said last night was true :3
drunken truths
WARNING: Alcohol use
PAIRING: Beetlejuice x Reader
NOTE: Hihi! Please keep sending your creative energy my way; it always brightens my day. Sending you lots of love and ghostly vibes! <3
SUMMARY: A drunken Beetlejuice lets slip just how deeply he cares about you, leaving you giddy and mischievous the next morning as you nudge him toward confessing his feelings for real.
It started with a bad idea, like most things involving Beetlejuice. He’d stumbled into your space that night with a bottle of some spectral concoction, claiming he was “celebrating.” What? He never clarified. Maybe it was the moon being full, maybe it was a successful day. Who knew? Either way, by the second drink, his tongue was already looser than usual.
And because you knew him—and liked him, despite yourself—you stayed sober. Someone had to keep him from blowing up the furniture or trying to serenade the neighborhood cats again.
“Y’know somethin’?” Beetlejuice slurred, draping himself over your shoulder with the subtlety of a hurricane. His usual grabby hands were there, but the way his fingers grazed your arm felt…different. Gentle, almost reverent.
“What’s that, Beej?” you asked, half-amused, half-bracing for whatever nonsense was about to come out of his mouth.
“You’re perfect. Like—chef’s kiss—perfect.” He made the gesture, loudly smacking his lips. “Don’t know why you hang out with a guy like me, though.”
You blinked, caught off guard by the softness in his voice. This wasn’t the usual Beetlejuice bravado. He sounded…earnest.
“Maybe I just like you,” you teased, testing the waters.
His laugh was low and warm, and it made your chest tighten in a way you didn’t want to examine too closely.
“Yeah, well, you’re too good for me. But that don’t matter, ’cause one day, I’m gonna make you mine. Like, for real. Not ’cause of the whole marriage loophole thing—though that’s a helluva bonus, heh—but ’cause you’re…I dunno…you’re it for me.”
You froze. Beetlejuice, the king of chaos and crude jokes, just…said that?
“And, oh!” He sat up abruptly, gesturing wildly. “We’ll have one of those nice-ass weddings, right? With the cake, and the dancing, and…yeah, I’ll be the best damn husband ever. Better’n any of those losers out there. You’ll see.”
Before you could even process what was happening, Beetlejuice flopped over, snoring loudly against your shoulder.
“BJ?” you whispered, but he was out cold.
The next morning, he was surprisingly subdued—hungover but still Beetlejuice. He shuffled into the kitchen, scratching his messy hair and grumbling about how “some jerk left the lights on too bright.”
You smirked over your coffee, barely able to contain your excitement. “Morning, BJ. Sleep well?”
He squinted at you suspiciously. “Why’re you so chipper? You’re usually grumpy in the morning.”
“Oh, no reason.” You leaned forward, resting your chin in your hand. “So…got something you wanna tell me?”
Beetlejuice froze, his greenish skin turning an even paler shade. “Uh…like what?”
“Like, I dunno…what you were rambling about last night? Something about marriage?”
His eyes went wide, then narrowed as he tried to piece things together. Finally, he groaned, rubbing his face with both hands. “Oh, great. I blew it, didn’t I?”
You tilted your head innocently. “Blew what?”
He slumped into the chair across from you, looking more vulnerable than you’d ever seen him. “The whole…thing. You know. The you thing. Dammit, I didn’t wanna say it like that. But, yeah. Whatever I said last night? It’s true. All of it. And I get it if you think I’m nuts or if you don’t—”
You reached across the table, grabbing his hand before he could spiral. “Beetlejuice.”
“What?”
“I think you’re nuts. But I also think you’re kind of sweet. And maybe, just maybe, I like the idea of you being my husband someday.”
For once in his afterlife, Beetlejuice was speechless.
#beetlejuice#keatlejuice#beetlejuice movie#beetlejuice x reader#keatlejuice x reader#tim burton#tim burton x reader#x reader#ask#fanfic#request#oneshot
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Are you going to look for a new hubby and let the past die with Dabi? I can't understand why people are so angry, he was just a fictional character after all 🤷🏻
CAUTION: A LONG RANT
I need to start by admitting something: I used to think manga was a thing for teenagers, a phase that people would grow out of eventually. For years, I dismissed it without giving it a proper chance. But almost two years ago, I let my curiosity win, and it turned out to be one of the best decisions I’ve ever made. Upon discovering My Hero Academia, I found myself diving headfirst into a world of characters, stories, and emotions that were far more layered and meaningful than I ever expected.
At first, Bakugo caught my attention. His abrasive personality and explosive demeanor were off-putting to some, but to me, he was fascinating. Here was someone with an undeniable drive, someone who never gave up no matter how many obstacles stood in his way. His goal-oriented nature and resilience resonated with me, even if he was rough around the edges. But then… Dabi entered the spotlight, and everything changed.
Falling for Dabi felt like a natural process, something that happened without me even realizing it. I’ve always had a soft spot for villains — for as long as I can remember, they’ve been the characters I gravitated toward. There’s something about their complexity, their pain, and the choices they make that intrigues me. So, it was inevitable that I would become a fan of both Dabi and Shigaraki. But with Dabi, it was different. I never knew it was possible to care for a fictional character as much as I came to care for him.
Dabi’s story was heartbreaking yet captivating, it was so complex that you were always curious what will happen next. His resilience, the way he carried himself with an air of defiance, even as his world crumbled around him. He wasn’t just a character; he was a mirror reflecting the struggles and scars of anyone who’s ever felt broken.
During some of the hardest times in my life, reading the chapters where he and the League of Villains appeared became a source of comfort and hope. Somehow, their presence was a mood lifter, a reminder that even in the face of darkness, there’s a fire that can keep burning. For that, I’ll always be grateful.
When I read the chapter where the words “slowly heading to death” were uttered, I had a sinking feeling in my chest. Deep down, I knew this would be his fate. As much as I hoped for the best, as much as I wanted Horikoshi to surprise us with a different outcome, a part of me braced for what felt inevitable. And when the confirmation came, it hurt more than I can put into words. I cried a river of tears for him. Not just for Dabi but for everything he represented to me. It felt like losing a close friend, someone who had been there for me through so much, even if only on the pages of a story.
If Dabi’s death is reduced to something that happens off-panel, during a time skip, then I can’t express how deeply disappointing and infuriating that would be. For a character as complex and integral as Dabi, such an abrupt dismissal would be a slap in the face to fans who invested so much in his journey. I wanted — no, needed — to see the aftermath of his passing, especially within the Todoroki family. That dynamic deserved to be explored. How did Endeavor, a character I admittedly like despite acknowledging his horrific history of domestic abuse and neglect, process the loss of his firstborn son? A son he irreparably broke, whether he wants to admit it or not.
And Rei — God, Rei. She was a mother forced to endure the unimaginable pain of losing her child not once, but twice. As someone who has lost a child myself, I know the soul-deep agony of such loss. It’s a pain that never leaves you, a sharp, searing blade that carves out a permanent hollow in your heart. To see Rei’s perspective, her grief, and her struggle to reconcile that pain, would have added so much depth and emotional weight to the story.
These are the nuances that could have made the Todoroki family saga feel complete — an honest portrayal of love, regret, and reconciliation in the wake of unbearable loss. But given how Horikoshi has treated the Todoroki family so far, I have no faith that we’ll ever get that closure. His tendency to sideline emotional arcs and sweep unresolved character threads under the rug is beyond frustrating. It’s like Horikoshi’s become the Thanos of his own creation, snapping away characters and narratives he can no longer be bothered to handle.
To me, Dabi was one of the most complex characters in My Hero Academia, second only to Shigaraki. The decision to deny him a proper redemption arc felt like a betrayal, a bitter reminder that sometimes, even the best stories don’t give you the closure you hope for. Horikoshi’s handling of Dabi’s arc — giving fans glimmers of hope only to snatch them away — was, frankly, cruel. Killing him off after dangling the possibility of survival was, in my opinion, a failure to fully explore the depth of the character he had created.
But even now, I know I’ll never stop loving Dabi — or the League of Villains as a whole. They brought so much light into some of my darkest moments. They reminded me of the beauty in imperfection, the strength in perseverance, and the power of standing your ground even when the world is against you.
In my mind, Dabi is safe. He’s happy. He’s finally found the peace and love he deserved, and no one can take that from me. The same goes for Shigaraki. To me, they have the happy ending they were robbed of in canon. That’s the reality I choose to believe in, and it’s a reality I’ll continue to write for.
So no, I’m not “moving on” or “finding a new favorite.” A dedicated fan doesn’t abandon their muse, even in death. Dabi, Shigaraki, and the League will always have a place in my heart, and I’ll continue to celebrate them through my writing. In my head and in my stories, they live on — free, loved, and content. And that’s how it will always be.
#bnha spoilers#mha spoilers#dabi#touya todoroki#shigaraki#tomura shigaraki#mha dabi#shigaraki mha#author's rant#lov#league of villains#horikoshi is thanos
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“we can't be friends” tenya iida x fem!reader
━━ . ˚₊ ꒱ “wait until you like me again”
note: lmk if y’all want a timeskip part 2 (which would be fluff…probably)
content: hope your excited for angst. no fluff...sorry!, academic rivals, reader is kinda like beth harmon, lowkey kinda short ://
EVER SINCE YOU came to U.A it's been a competition between you and Iida from class 1A. Although the school was built and made for turning out the next heroes you didn't want to be a hero. You knew with your quirk that you would only be able to work at a corporation which is why you were in the general studies course.
This is where you met one of your best friends Shinsou. Now this guy was someone you didn't think should be in this course, his quirk was more suited for hero work which is why you've been helping him draft a letter to Principal Nezu to let him transfer into the hero course. It was a longer process then you could've guessed but you felt like you should use your quirk for something. Your quirk was called 'brain' you were basically like a human Google. People found it useful but never good enough for hero work. But at this point in your life you gave up on the pipe dream of being a hero.
You remember the first time you met him like it was yesterday. You were walking with Shinsou. Actually, you were following him more or less to where the front of class 1A's door was and many other students were at. "Hey Shin what's going on?" You asked confused at the vast amount of people. That's where you saw him. The boy with midnight blue hair and square glasses. You had a feeling he didn't know how much of a looker he was.
"Bakugou! Please don't ruin our reputation!" He exclaimed, doing a weird arm chopping motion. Well guess the blonde guys name is Bakugou, yet that didn't seem to catch your interest. You wanted to know the blue haired boys name. You barely noticed your friend talking back to the class until he was walking away. You were going to follow him until you locked eyes with the boy, he even flashed a small smile at you. It was brief but it made your cheeks heat up slightly.
"Come on y/n!" Shinsou called, pulling you back to reality. "Hey what's that guys name?" You questioned him as he raised him brow looking back to the classroom doors. "Who? Four eyes? Why don't you just use your quirk to find out?" You roll your eyes at this suggestion. "You know I don't use my quirk on people or things like that!"
"Ugh his names Iida, I think.." He huffed, pushing his hands into his pockets while walking. "Now was that so hard Hitoshi!" You beamed at him while he jokingly pushed you.
Here you were a few days later at the school library preparing for the upcoming exam. A test everyone in every course needed to take. A test you wanted to place number one on. For tests like these you were required to test with the hero course and specifically 1A which had pro hero eraserhead so you wouldn't be able to cheat on the test. Just a formality but was still such a hassle to leave your class to be in another.
You could say this is where you officially became 'Iida's rival' or so some people in 1A dubbed this little feud between the two of you.
You heard from some of the others in your course that people you should be worried about should be Iida and Momo. The first name rang a bell in your head. Suddenly the little crush you had on this guy shriveled away into the determination of getting number one on this test. Suddenly this guy was now your rival, so when you spotted him at the library an idea hit you. This Iida dudes gotta be like any other guy and a little flirting could maybe break his spirt.
Except he isn't like any other guy and your fugal attempts at flirting completely flew over his head. Well what was plan B? Beat him with your wits of course.
"You know how this works right?" Mr. Aizawa questioned as he walked you from your classroom to his. "Mhm." You retuned not fully paying attention due to the nerves and you trying to remember what you studied before. Aizawa took the hint and let silence engulf the two of you until you got to the classroom. "Take that seat next to Iida--uh Iida raise your hand."
The look on your face must've been priceless since you heard a snort come from the boy with a lighting bolt in his hair. You being sat next to him might've been the worst thing that could've happened. Now you were gonna be distracted because of this--
"Hey sorry could I borrow a pencil?" The boy in front of me whispered to me. "Oh uh sure?" As you were looking around in your pencil case you felt a pair of eyes looking at you and it wasn't the red head in front of you. "Do you mind?" You said, not even looking at Iida, who choked saliva. "What?" He questioned, fixing his glasses.
"Don't play stupid glasses. If you like my face so much why don't ya take a picture." You said sarcastically, before turning back to Kirishima to hand him the pencil. Iida just muttered something before going back to looking at his desk.
Once the test was finished you weren't gonna lie you think you did well (for not using your quirk) and now you had to wait until the bell rung for lunch so you were stuck with class 1A until after lunch.
"Hey you're that girl Iida is always beefing with right?" A girl with pink hair said, walking up to the next you were at. "Oh um yeah! Kinda sucks that's what you guys know me as.." You laugh nervously. Is this seriously how the best hero class knows you as? Well your repuation is out the window now. "No! I'm sure you're super cool! I had heard that from someone in 1B!" She quickly defends herself.
"Oh! Well I'm y/n! It's nice to meet you then!" You push out your hand in front of you to have her gladly accept it. You then learned her name was Mina and then the boy who borrowed your pencil joined the conversation but you felt like the rest of the class was also somewhat listening since you were a stranger in their class. "Hi! I'm Kirishima! What's your quirk?"
There was something about the boys smile that made you feel safe which seemed like a weird thing to think at the time. "It's called brain--I'm basically google!" You joked, smiling, which made them laugh with you. "Then that makes sense why your here." You heard a boy with green hair say. You reconginze him. He's the kid from the entrance exam that comepletly wrecked his arms and legs.
"But hey that just shows how smart you are!" Lighting bolt boy said. Mina just rolled her eyes. "Stop glazing her Denki, she doesn't want you!" This made Denki get red in embarassment but in turn some others snorted and laughed at the two.
"Probably cheated on the others.." You heard from behind you but it was more of a whisper that was accidently louder then intended. "Excuse me..?" You turned around to see Iida was a sour look on his face. He just shrugged.
Although one good thing did come out of that foul confrontation with Iida. After that happened the girl from class 1A, Mina invited you to hangout with her in her dorm. Her instructions were simple yet sketchy. ‘come to room 2c but don’t let anyone see you.’
You had texted Shinsou before you left your dorm just in case someone needed to know where you were going.
Once you got to Mina’s dorm you were met with a whole group of people. Once we all got introduced you finally learned who everyone was. Jirou and Denki were near the tv. Bakugou and Kirishima were by the balcony and Sero was now sitting me and Mina. This had to be one of the most fun hangouts you had been to in a while.
“So if you’re playing poker you could totally win all the time right?” Sero said, sipping his caprison. “Yeah I guess but I don’t use my quirk on people.” Bakugou just scoffed. “Lame!”
“Listen I have good reason! People had like weird shit going on up there alright..” The rest of the night went how you would expect. We ate, played games and eventually had to say our goodbyes. But from then in you would always hangout with what we were dubed (by the rest of your classmates) the bakusquad. Which is a stupid name by the way.
Now that you were hanging out with the “bakusquad” more, you started to become friends either others in the class too. Everyone except Iida. Although something in you wanted to be friends with him, maybe even get closer to him but any attempt was met with resistance so eventually you gave up until one day.
You were sitting on the steps in front of 1A’s dorm since you started to feel a bit claustrophobic with everyone in the common area. You hadn’t realized Iida was standing next to you until he spoke up. “Can I sit here?” He said a lot more politely than he ever has in the past.
After clearing his throat like 100 times out of nervousness Iida started. “I’m sorry for how I acted before—It wasn’t very pleasant and I shouldn’t have said or done what I did.” You could tell how sincere he was so you allowed him to continue without interrupting.
“Can we start over and be friends?” He smiled. God that smile. You remember seeing that smile the first time you ever saw him. You’ve come to love and hate it so much. Which is what possessed you to say what you did.
“We can’t be friends.” You said quietly as your breath appeared in front of you due to the cold air. “what?” He breathed out with furrowed eyebrows.
“You… just cling to your stupid papers and pens because that’s all you seem to care about.” You felt a pit in your stomach start to grow. “I-what? What are you saying?” He asked confused for the upteenth time.
“This is all I have—hell it’s all I��ll need. You can graduate and become a hero but me I have to work hard and leave with good grades so I can work at a big corporation. I just…I can’t be friends with someone who can jeopardize that right now…” You finished, standing up from you spot to have your back face him.
“But I-“ You cut him off by turning around to face him briefly. “It’s okay. I’ll just be waiting for you to like me again…especially after this.”
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Phantom of the Opera (1990), you did Erik proud
Alternate title: Christine, we have beef!
(Meme inspired by this post.)
I have not a bad word for this Erik (and not just because I can feel a certain friend of mine holding a chandelier over my head). The 1990 adaptation made some big changes to the story, but it perfectly captured the childlike soul of Leroux's Erik that is often lost in translation but vital to him. (When I was explaining POTO to someone outside the situation, i. e. my mum, two things I kept using as comparisons were a child and Gollum - not because he's a chaos gremlin, I was trying to describe how he has a skewered perspective of the world that isn't evil but doesn't follow the accepted moral system. But that's for another time.)
I found myself trying very hard not to resent Christine - a first time for me. I will defend her choosing the Compte de Chagny over Erik, she doesn't owe Erik love, no matter what he did for her. The problem is that she took on a responsibility she couldn't possibly carry.
Never, ever assume to fully understand someone. Especially someone like Erik, who thinks and exists on a different pane as most people. Christine was wrong, terribly wrong, to assume she 'knew his heart.'
When faced with a person so sensitive, so particular, when being the one person trusted by a person who trusts no one, don't make huge gambles like that. She shouldn't have assumed she knew what Erik needs better than he does - he told you he is happy with where they were, then stay there with him! Instead, she pulled the 'I can fix him' and shattered him completely. I don't hate her for being unable to catch Erik when he falls, I hate her for blindly promising to catch him and failing him.
(I do realise how much of the above describes myself and my worries about how people treat me, so fair warning, I may be a bit biased.)
An opinion: in every version, Erik emotionally manipulates Christine but here, Christine is the one who is emotionally manipulative. ('Manipulative' may sound malicious, but manipulators aren't always aware of what they're doing.)
In the second part of the series, she said at least three times 'If you love me...' Now, that is one of my least favourite sentences to see and hear in the best of times, but this is somehow even worse because Erik DOES do everything because he loves her. In other versions, there is the question of obsession against love when it comes to their relationship; in that context, I would accept her saying this. But here, Erik is not possessive.
As for Monsieur Carrière, I have beef with him too. An even bigger, tougher slice of beef. He is proved to be irresponsible: not once, but twice, he got in relationships and then left this partners when they have children. First time could be a mistake; the second time, especially when kept Erik's mother in the dark about his marriage, is inexcusable. Yes, he stayed with her till the end, but then left their son in a basement. Yes, he reached out to Erik in the end, but too little, too late. If Erik is emotional and irrational, it's because Carrière never gave him the guidance he should have.
Christine and Carrière love Erik, I don't doubt it. But it's still painful to see Erik fall down through everyone and everything that should have caught him: his talent, his parents, Christine.
If you'll excuse me, I need to cry in the catacombs and draw something miserable.
#phantom of the opera#poto#poto 1990#erik poto#erik the phantom#christine daee#charles dance#phandom#cats#art#artists on tumblr
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I know most of the time when I post I’m talking shit or being an asshole, but I wanna take a sec to say who I’m thankful for this thanksgiving.
@elysianwayy77 , not only is she the best fake mom I could ask for, she’s also one of my favorite people. She’s always willing to listen to me yap about stupid shit, and for that I’m thankful.
@soft-likethesunset , is such a good role model, truly a great person. She’s welcoming to any and all, she gives great advice and most importantly she’s helped me bring out my true self. And for that, I’m thankful.
@theodditylacey , I could go on and on about how thankful I am for Lacey. If someone asked me who I wanna be like when I grow up, I’d say Lacey. Lacey has taught me more things than school has ever taught me, she’s smart, she’s mature, and she’s kind. If I had to have someone represent me in court, I’m picking her. I know she’d do anything in her power to help me, and for that, I’m thankful.
@iloveyapping , one of my absolute best friends. Liz is the reason I feel comfortable enough to be myself fully, if I’d never met them then I’d probably still be pretending to be a calm and kind person. I feel like I can talk to them about anything and not be judged, they are the definition of “we listen and we don’t judge.” And for that, I’m thankful.
@hxress23 , has made me realize that there are actually genuine people out in the world, people who don’t want to rain on your parade constantly. She’s the first person to complaint me, she’s the first person to ask me how my days been, she’s the first person that truly wants to know about YOU. And for that, I’m thankful.
@glxsyymads , Maddie. Mads is someone that I wish I could clone and give everyone one of her. She’s the kindest person you’ll ever meet, she makes me smile when I have a bad day, she makes me feel better about myself when I feel horrid, she makes me cackling at the most ridiculous times, she makes my life sunnier. And for that, I’m thankful.
@the-french-fry , we haven’t known each other for too long but every conversation with you feels like getting to see your favorite cousins after months apart, we never run out of things to talk about and you make me smile every time I see your account pop up, and for that, I’m thankful.
HONORABLE MENTIONS: @junefl0wers @cultclassic111 @viqwxcs @wish-i-were-heather @auntiejohn
Obviously I’m thankful for every single one of you but these are just the people that have hugely impacted my life in the small amount of time that I’ve been on this app!
#toooster#patch yaps#jade! 🐈⬛#neens! 🐝#lacey!✨#liz! 🦎#sanjana!🦩#mads!🤎#potato! 🥔#june! 🪼#bebe! 🐛#cami!⭐️#eunioa!🗣️#jess! 🎧
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i am drowning
there is no sign of land.
Patrick's announcement hit you like a tennis ball to the gut. He had just gotten back from winning the junior US Open, but instead of celebrating together, he was ending things between you. The sharp sting of disappointment cut through your heart as you struggled to make sense of it all. This wasn't the end of your relationship, though.
patrick zweig x reader. patrick x tashi. mentioned tashi x art.
warnings: angst. like angst for the sake of angst. sex at the end. some curse words. not for minors. p in v sex. use of she/her for reader. no use of y/n. patrick sleeps with reader for a bed.
nori says: hiiiiiii, i've been lurking in the challengers tag and now have something to contribute. this is heavily inspired by the break up scene in whiplash. it just feels so patrick coded. also, i love tashi, it's not her fault that the boys were weird about her. send me ideas if you want to! xoxo.
word count: 4,818
2006, September. Per Se Restaurant, Manhattan.
“Also, Patrick has a girlfriend.” Art had told Tashi, and Patrick had responded with “I do not”.
ˏˋ°•*⁀➷
“I can’t believe your dad let us use his reservations. This is the coolest thing ever! I feel so grown up,” a cheerful voice interrupts Patrick’s thoughts, pulling him back to the present moment. Sitting across from you now, celebrating his triumphant win at the Junior US Open, he can't ignore the guilt and doubts that gnaw at him. Though you were never officially a couple, there were undeniable feelings between you two and Patrick had pursued you relentlessly. He couldn't resist your sweetness, especially since you’ve been friends for so long and despite being just a teenage boy with wandering eyes fixed on tennis skirts, even he understands that you genuinely care about him.
Patrick thinks with all the agony that the thing between his legs can muster, that he’s an asshole, that he shouldn’t of fucked up this situationship only to chase after a girl who made him compete for her attention. Part of him hates himself for betraying your trust and pining after someone else, but the other part of him is drawn to Tashi in a way he can't explain. She gets him, but more importantly, she understands true tennis.
Patrick fidgets with his cup of water, tracing your name on the condensation as if it holds some sort of salvation. But deep down, he knows that no amount of apologies or excuses can change what he has done.
"Listen, I have to be honest with you," Patrick finally speaks up, his voice strained with emotion.
You pause, feeling a sense of unease settle in your stomach as you wait for him to continue.
"I can't keep pretending that this is going to work out. My dreams of becoming a professional tennis player are consuming more and more of my time and focus. And when I am with you, all I can think about is training and winning matches."
As his confession sinks in, your world tilts on its axis. The realization hits you with startling clarity - his passion for tennis surpasses everything else in his life, casting a shadow over what bloomed between you. You always knew that tennis was important to Patrick, but you never fully understood just how significant it was until now. Your mind flashes back to all the times you thought tennis was just a hobby for him, a way to cope with his parents' high expectations. Tears prick at the corners of your eyes as you realize that this is not how you imagined your relationship with Patrick ending. You try to hold back your emotions, but they overflow despite your best efforts.
"You'll probably start feeling like I'm ignoring you and get mad that tennis is more important to me than our relationship," he continues, regret evident in his eyes. "And if you ask me to ease up on my training, I won't be able to comply because this is my passion. It's what I was born to do."
"Where is this coming from, Pat?" you ask, your voice trembling with hurt. You had never wanted to come between Patrick and his dreams, but now it seems like there was no other option.
“It’s been building up for a while.” In the midst of shattered expectations and unspoken regrets, Patrick's gaze meets yours fleetingly before retreating, unable to withstand the weight of your hurt and disappointment. The truth hangs heavy in the air - priorities laid bare, futures diverging like roads leading into different horizons. "Because sooner or later, we will start resenting each other for not understanding our priorities. It's better to end things now before they turn toxic."
"I can't believe this, I thought we were in this together." Your palms are clammy and your heart races as you try to process everything. You had been nothing but supportive of him, rearranging your schedule whenever he came home from the academy just to spend time with him. But now he’s telling you that it wasn't enough.
"We were, but I wanna be one of the greats.” He sighs.
“And would I stand in your way?”
“Yeah.”
“You know I would, you're sure about that?” You ask, wishing this would just stop. “Yes.” He reaches out to take your hand, but you pull away, unable to bear his touch after what he's done. "I'm sorry," he mutters, his face contorted with guilt and sadness, and the knowledge that he’s a liar. That this conversation is only happening because he’s chasing greatness and Tashi Duncan.
"I'm just a naive girl to you, aren't I? Someone who will never measure up to your grand ambitions.” As the words tumbled out of your mouth, your voice quivers with hurt and disbelief. You couldn't comprehend how someone that you love could make you feel so worthless. “You'll leave me behind as you chase after greatness," you cried out, feeling utterly small and insignificant in his eyes. “You don’t understand me. You never have." His accusation is like sharp, dagger-like punctuation mark, ready to cut off any lingering hopes and pierce through the heart of your relationship.
You look at him, feeling a mix of anger and heartache. "Why did you even bother pursuing me then? If your tennis career was always going to come first?"
"I'm sorry," he finally says, his voice heavy with remorse. "I never should have said those things."
His apology hangs in the air, hollow and insufficient. The bustling restaurant fades into the background as you try to comprehend the sudden change in your reality.
"Sorry doesn't fix this, Patrick," you say, your voice barely above a whisper.
Patrick runs a hand through his curly hair, frustration etched across his face. "I know, I know. I'm messing everything up. It's just... there's so much pressure. The tennis, my parents, the academy. And now..."
He trails off, leaving the sentence unfinished. You lean forward, searching his face.
"And now what, Pat? What aren't you telling me?"
Patrick's blue eyes meet yours for a moment before darting away. "There's someone else," he admits quietly.
Your heart shatters into a million pieces, each shard piercing your chest with unbearable pain. The revelation hits you like a serve you never saw coming, leaving you breathless and disoriented. You struggle to find words, your mind reeling from the betrayal.
"Someone else?" you finally manage to choke out, your voice barely audible over the clinking of glasses and murmur of conversation around you. "Who?"
Patrick shifts uncomfortably in his seat, avoiding your gaze. "Her name is Tashi. We met at a party after the tournament. She's... she understands tennis in a way that—"
The name strikes a chord of recognition. Tashi Duncan. You've heard whispers about her – the rising star in the tennis world, known for her fierce determination and unmatched skill on the court. Suddenly, everything clicks into place. The late-night phone calls, the distracted looks, the growing distance between you and Patrick
"That I never could," you finish for him, bitter understanding washing over you. Of course. Of course it would be someone from his world, someone who could match his ambition step for step.
"I think she could make me really happy," Patrick says, his voice pleading for you to just get it.
“You know, I really do hope that you make it. I hope you get to be number one or whatever,” You let out a wet scoff, he could have at least let you finish your meal. “But I’m glad that I’ll never understand you, Patrick.”
With those words, the conversation comes to a halt as you both sit in stunned silence. The waitress brings over your food, but neither of you have an appetite anymore. Patrick pushes his plate away, his stomach churning with guilt and regret. He realizes now that breaking things off like this is a mistake, he’s a coward, he shouldn’t have met up with you in person.
2019, August. Parking lot of a Roadside motel, New Rochelle.
Patrick slams his fist against the side of his beat-up Volkswagen Tiguan in frustration, feeling the sting of anger and disappointment course through him. His phone remains pressed to his ear, waiting for you to pick up, but it rings on with no answer. He begins and deletes a desperate text to you, twice, before finally you're calling back and he answers on the first ring. “Hey! Got a weird favor to ask you. Your new place is near Westchester, right?” His voice trembles with nervousness as he taps his fingers anxiously against the car door.
“A whole year, that’s a new record for you. Run out of money already?”
“Shit,” he swears under his breath, trying to use some charm or magic to convince you. “You know how the tour goes. I’ve been struggling to stay afloat. But uh, how’ve you been?” He forces a smile through the grimace as he thinks about his current financial state - a checking account with only $70 left. It’s a far cry from the greatness he once promised he was leaving you to pursue.
“Go to hell, Patrick.” The line goes dead and he pulls the phone away from his face, staring at it in disbelief as if willing you to call back. He knows you, so he waits anxiously until a notification with your name appears again on the screen, accompanied by a new address.
Same day. Private residence, Bronxville.
Everyone knows that Patrick's parents have stopped providing financial support for him, and even though your own father would be furious if he knew you were aiding this deadbeat, you can't bring yourself to let him go without. It's only the occasional bit of cash for gas or food, but Patrick always finds a way to repay you in ways that you didn’t even know you needed. There is an unspoken agreement between the two of you that hangs heavily in the air.
Despite everything, you can't turn him away completely, even knowing he will never truly change. Tennis is his first, great love and with the Donaldsons in town, you can't help but think Tashi might still be his second. And you, you are nothing more than a temporary lifeline – a benefactor to someone who will never truly appreciate your sacrifices.
His heart races with guilt and desperation as he parks his car and approaches your door. He knows he doesn't deserve your help, but the familiarity of these meetings brings a sense of safety.
You watch from your living room window as Patrick's battered Volkswagen pulls into your driveway. The sight of him emerging from the car, all scruffy charm and desperate energy, sends a familiar pang through your chest. You take a deep breath, steeling yourself for the encounter to come.
As Patrick approaches, you open the door before he can knock. He stands there, looking simultaneously sheepish and hopeful, his eyes searching your face.
"Hey," he says, his voice soft. "Thanks for... you know."
You scoff at his attempt at gratitude, your bitterness cutting through the air like a knife. "Is that supposed to be a thank you? I didn't know you knew how to use manners," you retort, your tone dripping with resentment. It's not like you to be so angry, but Patrick always has a way of bringing out the worst in you.
You step aside, allowing him to enter and close the door after him. Patrick's eyes dart around your new place, taking in the tasteful decor and the obvious signs of your success.
"Nice place," he comments, his voice tinged with a hint of envy.
You shrug, maintaining your emotional distance. "It serves its purpose."
Patrick nods, fidgeting with the hem of his worn t-shirt. The silence stretches between you, thick with unspoken words and shared history.
At thirty-two years old, in the final stages of your cardiology fellowship, your father still treats you like a child who is expected to become an astronaut neurosurgeon, or some other fantastical career straight out of a Barbie movie. Meanwhile, your mother constantly laments about not having any grandchildren to spoil, as if that is the sole purpose of your existence. You often snap back with sarcastic remarks, such as suggesting that your cat could use a new diamond-encrusted bowl, a sharp retort that only serves to deepen the tension between you. The truth is, you yearn for an escape just like Patrick did. If you had any talent for tennis, you would have run away long ago.
Patrick clears his throat, breaking the heavy silence. "I, uh... I really appreciate you helping me out. I know I don't deserve it, after everything."
You let out a humorless laugh, crossing your arms over your chest. "You're right. You don't deserve it. But here we are."
He takes a step closer, his gaze intense and pleading. "I never meant to hurt you. Everything just got so complicated, with tennis and Art and Tashi and—"
"Don't." You hold up a hand, cutting him off. "I don't want to hear about her. Or about tennis. I’m not sixteen drooling over you anymore. I don’t need to pretend that I care. That's your world, Patrick. It always has been."
He looks down, shame and regret etched across his handsome features. "I know. I fucked up. I fuck everything up."
Despite your anger and resentment, a part of you softens at his vulnerability. You've known Patrick for so long, seen him at his best and his worst. And even after all the heartbreak, there's still a connection between you that refuses to die.
"Why do you keep coming back here, Pat?" you ask, your voice barely above a whisper. "Why me?"
Patrick lifts his gaze to meet yours, and for a moment, you're transported back to that fateful dinner at Per Se, when your world first began to crumble.
"Because you're the only one who really knows me," he admits, his voice raw with emotion. "The only one who sees past the bullshit and the bravado. Even when I don't deserve it."
Your heart clenches at his words, the irony in them isn’t lost on you.
“I still hate you.” You say as you step forward and wrap your arms around him, feeling the solid warmth of his body against yours. Patrick stiffens for a moment before melting into the embrace, burying his face in the crook of your neck.
"I'm sorry," he murmurs, his breath hot against your skin. "For everything."
You close your eyes, allowing yourself this moment of vulnerability, of connection. Tomorrow, you'll go back to your separate lives - you to your fellowship and the weight of your parents' expectations, Patrick to his endless pursuit of tennis glory and the shadow of Art Donaldson. But tonight, in the quiet of your home, you can pretend that things are different, that the choices you've made haven't led you down such divergent paths.
As the embrace lingers, the air between you shifts, charged with a familiar tension. Patrick pulls back slightly, his eyes searching yours, asking a silent question. Your breath catches in your throat as his gaze drops to your lips, and you know what comes next.
It's a dance you've done before, a temporary escape from the harsh realities of your lives. And as Patrick leans in, capturing your lips in a searing kiss, you let yourself surrender to the moment, pushing aside the hurt and resentment that has festered for so long. His hands roam your body with a desperate urgency, as if trying to memorize every curve and contour before this fleeting connection inevitably fades away.
You melt into his touch, your own hands tangling in his curly black hair, pulling him closer. The kiss deepens, a clash of tongues and teeth. Patrick's fingers find the hem of your shirt, slipping beneath the fabric to caress the soft skin of your waist.
A moan escapes your lips as his touch ignites a fire within you, a burning desire that consumes rational thought. You tug at his clothes, needing to feel his skin against yours, to lose yourself in the physicality of the moment.
Patrick responds in kind, his lips trailing hot kisses down your neck as you head towards the bedroom. You stumble together, a tangle of limbs and half-shed clothing, until you fall onto the bed in a heap.
For a moment, you stare at each other, chests heaving, eyes dark with want. His lips trail scorching kisses down your neck, his stubble rasping against your sensitive skin.
"Pat," you gasp, arching into his touch as his hands touch wherever they can reach.
He pauses, hovering above you, his eyes dark with desire and something more, something akin to regret. "Tell me to stop," he whispers, his voice strained. "Tell me you don't want this."
But you can't. Because despite everything, the hurt and the anger and the years of distance, you do want this. You want him, even if it's just for tonight, even if it's a mistake you'll regret come morning.
"Don't stop," you breathe, pulling him back down to you.
Your shirt is discarded, followed by your bra, as Patrick's hands and mouth map the newly exposed skin. He lavishes attention on your breasts, his tongue swirling around each nipple until they peak into hardened buds. You writhe beneath him, your nails digging into his broad shoulders as the pleasure builds.
Patrick's lips trail lower, blazing a path down your stomach, his fingers hooking into the waistband of your jeans. He pauses, glancing up at you through his lashes, silently seeking permission. You lift your hips in response, and he tugs the denim down your legs, taking your panties with them.
Exposed and vulnerable, you fight the urge to cover yourself, to hide from the intensity of his gaze. But Patrick looks at you like you're the most beautiful thing he's ever seen, his eyes filled with a reverence that steals your breath.
"You're perfect," he murmurs, his hands skimming up your thighs, spreading them wider. "I never deserved you."
Before you can respond, his mouth is on you, his tongue delving into your folds, lapping at your most sensitive spots. You cry out, your back arching off the bed as he works you with expert precision, stoking the fire that burns within you.
Patrick slips a finger inside you, then two, curling them just so as his tongue continues its relentless assault on your clit. The dual sensations are almost too much to bear, and you feel yourself hurtling towards the edge, your body tensing in anticipation.
"Pat, I'm going to—" you gasp, your words cut off by a moan as he redoubles his efforts, determined to unravel you completely.
And then you're shattering, your orgasm crashing over you in waves of blinding ecstasy. Patrick works you through it, his fingers and tongue gentling as you come down from the high, your body trembling with aftershocks.
He crawls back up your body, pressing tender kisses to your skin as he goes. When he reaches your lips, you taste yourself on his tongue, a heady reminder of the intimacy you've just shared.
"I need you," you whisper against his mouth, your hands fumbling with the button of his jeans. "Please, Patrick."
He helps you undress him, kicking off his jeans and boxers until he's as bare as you are. His erection springs free, hard and heavy against his stomach, and you reach out to wrap your fingers around him, reveling in the velvety softness of his skin.
Patrick groans at your touch, his hips jerking forward involuntarily. "Condom," he grits out, reaching for his discarded basketball shorts.
You wait impatiently as he rolls the latex over his length, your body thrumming with anticipation. When he settles between your thighs again, the blunt head of his cock nudging at your entrance, teasing you with the promise of fullness. Your breath hitches as he slowly pushes forward, stretching you deliciously as he fills you inch by inch. A low moan escapes your lips at the exquisite sensation of him inside you, his thick length pulsing with need.
Patrick stills for a moment, giving you time to adjust, his forehead pressed against yours as he struggles to maintain control. "God, you feel incredible," he rasps, his voice strained with desire. "I've missed this. Missed you."
The confession tugs at your heart, a bittersweet reminder of the connection you once shared, the love that never quite died despite the pain and the years apart. You cling to him, your legs wrapping around his waist, urging him deeper.
He begins to move then, his hips rocking against yours in a steady rhythm that builds in intensity with each thrust. You meet him stroke for stroke, your bodies moving in perfect sync, as if no time has passed at all. The room fills with the sounds of skin slapping against skin, the mingled gasps and moans, the whispered words of encouragement and praise.
Patrick's mouth finds yours again, his kisses deep and demanding, as if he's trying to pour all of his unspoken emotions into the press of his lips. Your fingers tangle in his curly black hair, tugging lightly as the pleasure builds, coiling tighter and tighter within you.
He shifts the angle of his thrusts, hitting that spot deep inside you that makes stars explode behind your eyelids. You cry out, your nails raking down his back, leaving crescent-shaped marks in their wake. Patrick hisses at the sting, but it only seems to spur him on, his movements becoming more frantic, more forceful.
"Touch yourself," he commands, his voice rough with need. "I want to feel you come around me."
Obediently, you slip a hand between your bodies, feeling the heat and sweat radiating off of Patrick's skin. Your fingers glide lazily over his chest and down towards the area of need. However, unsatisfied with your own rhythm, Patrick's fingers boldly enter your mouth, collecting the saliva and making you involuntarily gag. Without hesitating, his fingers make their way back down to their intended destination, gently nudging yours out of the way. His thumb finds your clit, tracing tight circles around the sensitive bundle of nerves. The added stimulation sends electric shocks of pleasure coursing through your body, causing your inner walls to flutter around his throbbing cock.
You arch into his touch, your hands now exploring the hard planes of his chest, tracing the lines of his happy trail.
As Patrick moves within you, his eyes lock with yours, and for a moment, you can almost pretend that this means something more than a temporary escape, a fleeting connection in the midst of your fractured lives. But deep down, you know the truth.
This is all you can ever have with Patrick - stolen moments of passion, brief respites from the weight of your respective burdens. Tomorrow, you'll go back to being strangers, two people whose paths diverged long ago, held together only by the tenuous threads of history and desire.
With each deep thrust, Patrick stokes the fire building within you, pushing you closer to the brink of release. The fingers of his other hand dig into the soft flesh of your hips as he drives into you with increasing urgency, chasing his own climax.
"I'm close," he pants, his breath hot and ragged. "Give me another one. Come with me, baby. I’ve got you."
The endearment slips out unbidden, a echo of the past, of the tender moments you once shared. It's enough to send you tumbling over the edge, your walls clenching around him as euphoria floods your senses. Patrick follows a heartbeat later, a guttural groan tearing from his throat as he spills himself inside you, his hips jerking erratically with the force of his release.
As your breathing slows and reality seeps back in, the weight of your history, of all the unspoken words and unresolved hurt, settles heavily in the room. Patrick rolls off of you, disposing of the condom before collapsing onto the mattress and pulling you to him.
For a long moment, you lie tangled together, chests heaving, hearts racing in sync. Patrick's weight is a comforting presence, his face buried in the crook of your neck as the aftershocks of pleasure gradually subside.
But as the haze of desire dissipates, reality begins to seep in, cold and unforgiving. You feel Patrick tense against you, his body growing rigid as the magnitude of what you've done settles over him. He moves away from you, tugging on his boxers in swift, mechanical movements.
The silence that stretches between you is heavy with unspoken regrets, with the bitter knowledge that this changes nothing. You pull the sheet up to cover your nakedness, suddenly feeling exposed and vulnerable in the harsh light of aftermath.
You turn your head to look at him, taking in the familiar lines of his profile, the curl of his lashes against his cheek. "What are we doing, Pat?" you ask softly, your voice barely above a whisper.
He sighs, running a hand through his sweat-dampened hair. "I don't know," he admits, his gaze fixed on the ceiling. "I just... I needed this. Needed you."
Your heart clenches at his words, a bittersweet mix of longing and resignation. You know you should put a stop to this, to the cycle of hurt and temporary solace that keeps bringing you back together. But the pull between you is too strong, the history too deep.
"I can't keep being your escape, Patrick," you say, your voice trembling slightly. "I can't keep pretending that this means something more than it does."
He turns to face you then, his lake blue eyes searching yours, a flicker of something raw and vulnerable in their depths. "What if it could?" he asks, his voice barely above a whisper. "What if we could make it mean something more?"
For a moment, you allow yourself to imagine it - a life where you and Patrick find a way to bridge the gap between your worlds, to build something real and lasting. But the dream fades as quickly as it forms, the harsh realities of your lives intruding once more.
"I wish things could be different," Patrick murmurs, his voice barely audible in the stillness of the room. "I wish I could be the man you deserve."
Your eyes search his face for a glimmer of the boy you once knew, the one who stole your heart with his reckless charm and unbridled ambition. "We both made our choices, Pat," you whisper, your fingers reaching over to brush a stray curl from his forehead. "We can't go back.”
Patrick moves to sit on the edge of the bed, his back to you, shoulders hunched with the weight of his thoughts. You watch him, your heart aching with a familiar longing, a desperate wish for things to be different.
“I don’t even know what you really want from me. I doubt you do either. You’re just latching onto me because I’m something steady to grab a hold of.” Your voice is soft, tentative. “Look at me, Pat.”
He flinches at the sound of his name, as if the mere utterance is a painful reminder of the intimacy you've just shared. "Don't," he says, his tone flat, emotionless. "Please, just… don't."
You swallow back the words that threaten to spill out, the confessions and pleas that will only fall on deaf ears. Because you know, deep down, that Patrick will never be yours, not in the way you want him to be. His heart belongs to the court, to the thrill of the game, to the relentless pursuit of greatness that has consumed him for as long as you've known him. And the more it alludes him, the more desperate he is to obtain it.
And you? You're just a temporary port in the storm, a fleeting respite from the chaos of his life. A reminder of the girl he left behind, the love he sacrificed on the altar of his ambition.
Patrick stands abruptly, reaching for his discarded clothes. He dresses quickly, efficiently, his movements sharp and purposeful. You watch him in silence, a lump forming in your throat as the weight of the moment settles over you.
“Will you stop?” You sit up, pulling the blanket around you. “Just sleep here for tonight, Pat. You’re being difficult for no reason.”
Patrick's steps falter as he turns to you, his grip tight on the fabric of his shirt. His face is a mix of anger and frustration, but then it transforms into a vulnerable expression that catches you off guard. He runs a hand through his hair before letting out a heavy sigh. "I know I shouldn't ask after what happened between us...but will you come watch me play tomorrow?"
#patrick zweig#patrick zweig x reader#patrick zweig smut#patrick zweig x you#patrick zweig imagine#challengers 2024#challengers x reader#challengers x you#challengers fanfic#am i too late?#norimadeit#noriwroteit
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I think you might like this since it's Chainsaw Man's best stoic girl Fami~, where Asa and Yoru first meet Fami's boyfriend. They think he's just some random bystander or classmate who overheard their conversation, which could mean trouble when all of a sudden Fami kisses him and introduces him.
Asa and yoru meeting fami's boyfriend
"Do you always eat alone?"
"Yes"
"Every day i discover you're even more pathetic than i thought, how is that even possible?"
"Shut up"
"No it's so boring here"
"I don't care, just shut up, we're in public. What are people gonna think if they see me talk to myself?"
"To be honest, you definitely seem like the type to talk to yourself"
"............"
"Just chill out even if someone overhears us. I'll take care of them, I haven't gotten a new weapon in a while now that I think about it"
"You are not killing anyone of my classmates"
Just as yoru was about to answer asa saw a boy getting closer to her
"Oh hey, you're asa mitaka, right? My girlfriend said I had to meet with you"
"Uh yeah, but are you sure she's talking about me? I'm not.......really friends with anyone"
"Oh no, yeah, it is you. Well, I guess it's yoru, but you know-"
"WHAT?!"
"H-he knows about me?"
"Do you-do you know him?"
"Of course not, how the hell would I? Just let me out so I can kill him"
"N-no we're in-"
"Sorry if I'm late"
You and asa both turned to see fami sitting at the table with a giant plate of food in front of her
"F-fami? What is she-"
"Oh hi babe"
You got closer to her lips as she kissed you. It lasted only for a few seconds, but like all of fami's kisses, it was wonderful.
"YOU'RE DATING!?"
"W-what's happening?"
"asa, can you let war out, I want to have this conversation with her"
"Yes, thank you, I really don't wanna see how this goes. Just stop her if she tries to kill someone"
Fami nodded as Asa fell unconscious. After a bit scars appeared on her face, and when she opened her eyes, they were yellow and ringed, just like fami, yoru immediately started glaring at you and your girlfriend who was just eating looking as unbothered as ever
"OK what's this about? Why the hell did you tell a human about me?"
"He's my boyfriend"
"So?"
"I've heard it's polite to introduce your lover to your family, y/n has already done it, so now it's my turn. He already met control and she liked him so I wanted him to meet you too"
"Pfft as if I care about your stupid boyfriend, you seriously revealed my identity to a random guy just cause you liked him?"
Hearing those words fami stopped eating and looked at yoru, her cold eyes making the war devil feel a bit uneasy
"Apologize"
"H-hm?"
"Apologize to y/n for what you said"
"O-oh no fami it's fine"
"Don't worry, as the older sister, it's my duty to discipline her, now apologize"
"F-fine ok geez, I'm sorry"
"Good"
You smiled and mentally thanked fami. To try and start again, you held your hand out to her sister
"Thanks it's nice to meet you by the-"
"I suggest you don't shake my hand, unless you wanna be turned into a weapon that is, not that I would mind"
Just as she finished that sentence yoru felt those cold eyes stare at her again, making her sweat a bit. She shook your hand reluctantly
"Hey y/n, do you mind grabbing me another plate of pasta? I finished mine, grab something else for yourself if you want"
"Sure"
Fami thanked you and kissed your cheek as you went away from the table. yoru sighed, thankful that she didn't have to fake being nice anymore
"I still can't believe you-"
"Hey war, listen to me"
The youngest horseman suddenly tensed even more at her sister's tone. She always sounded emotionless and cold, but this time, there was something more to her voice, something that made yoru feel inexplicably nervous
"I already told you I'd do anything for you, but there's an exception"
Fami gulped down the last of her food and looked at her even more coldly
"If you hurt y/n in any way, I will kill you"
Both yoru and even asa from inside her body were so shocked by her sentence that they started sweating simultaneously
"The love I feel for him is much greater than any sisterly bond I may have with you, I love y/n more than anything, even more than food, and I don't tolerate anything happening to him, the fact that you're my sister doesn't change anything. Do you understand?"
"W-what the why are you-"
"Do you understand, war?"
Fami was now practically killing yoru with her glare, even asa felt herself tensing up as she continued staring at them with an unblinking cold stare
".........y-yes"
"Good, as long as you understand that we shouldn't have any problems"
".........w-were you scared by your sister?"
"S-shut up its not like that"
As yoru and asa continued arguing with themselves, you came back to the table with the plates, fami kissed you again as thanks, and you continued chatting
"Sorry yoru, maybe we started on the wrong foot. I don't care if you're possessing asa and I won't tell anyone, I am dating a devil after all, I just hope we can get along"
"I'm sure you will.......right war?"
".....y-yeah"
Meanwhile asa is giggling inside her head because it's funny seeing yoru scared for a change
#chainsaw man x reader#chainsaw man#csm x reader#csm#chainsaw man part 2 x reader#chainsaw man part 2#chainsaw man 2 x reader#chainsaw man 2#csm 2#csm 2 x reader#csm part 2#fami x reader#fami csm#csm fami#fami csm x reader#fami x male reader#x reader#x male reader#male reader#csm part 2 x reader#fami chainsaw man x reader#fami chainsaw man
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Ok guy I was feeling really bad that I didn't write out something to you guys in that moots giving chain so here's my separate moot appreciation post
Firstly
@foreignink yeah I don't know when you will come online again OR if you'll come online again but honestly speaking, you are one of my most beloved person both online and irl. You were the first one ever who listened to my endless ramblings and stupid stories I made up no matter how questionable or out of pocket they were. I loved sitting next to you and chatting away the entire break. I miss you I miss you since the day we last saw eachother after crying like idiots infront of the school. You will always be my baby mwah I love you <3 ✨💚🧡 everything orange always reminds me of you.
@randomx123 you are so cool :D You were one of the first even people I actually talked to on Tumblr and the one of the first ever Bangali too. I loved listening to your story that's really really a great story. You are like that one cousin dada I never had. I like all the random (pun included) conversations we have and basically everything else. You are one of the few people whom I send random (pun) asks with basically anything and everything. Then I loved your moodboards during Pujo and you swearing always makes me roll with laughter XD You are in my favourite person catagory
@krishna-priyatama you are literally my favourite person I met on Tumblr. Thank god to the day we started chatting, you are a literal blessing to my life if I'm being honest. The only person who ever understood my crazyness and the intensity of my love for Chhota Bheem and other cartoons and matched my weirdass freak. Chatting with you is the highlight of my day which no matter how bad the day goes it always brings a smile to my face. I have no proper words to say tbh just love ya tons tons 🫂💖
@igotadigbickandureadthatwrong yeah I remember finding your main blog on a random day in boshonto (yes pun) and that introduced me to the Vasant cult and every other funny mytho shits. We hadn't interacted at all before untill I dropped those Cult rituals into your ask box, and from then on I literally had a blast sending and receiving asks filled with theories headcanons memes metas and basically everything else. I still wait for when you'll drop your next crazy ask and it will make me take a round around my house. And then cursedblr made it more unhinged lmao :3 ✨💚 if I am being honest I wanna violently throw paint balls at you
@jeahreading NOW you, I remember our first fight over baked roshogolla and you being my roshogolla anon for some hours. I was so fun... One of the best things ever because I got to discuss sweets with someone online so frankly for the first time. You are one of my favourite person on Tumblr literally and maybe one of the very few whom I have given a nickname. I loved loved loved sharing and received pujo details with you and the love for food we share is so dear to me. I hope we can meet irl one day 🥲 I wanna squish you in a hug so bad you have no idea. We'd me unstoppable. Love you a tons 💚✨💖 the Batasha to my Chini <3
@mi-stress-of-chaos mummyyyyy I don't remember when we started interacting or when we became such crazy buddies but it was definitely related to the cursedblr which is a blessing curse in my life. Then you became chaos mummy one of my favourite internet parents. I loved every single of our cursed and normal interactions and all the other shits we did and your blog is one of the best blogs on Tumblr. You are too cool and chaotic to even be friends with a lame loner like me but I am thankful we are because you are lovely 💜💖✨
@shinchansbitch if I remember correctly ig our first interaction was when you rebligged one of my shinchan incorrect quotes... Honestly speaking I didn't knew what to say at firat and it took a lot of time for us to become proper interacting moots but I'm glad we did because you are one of the coolest moat amazing person I met here and ilysm for that. You are one of the best ever internet parent I ever had. Your shitposting is one of the best things ever, I love love love reblogging from you they are the best. 🩷💝✨
@tum-naam-sochlo-merese-ni-hora favourite person ever to overexaggerated and complicate things with. Best didi ever. The coolest person to ever walk on this planet, you are one of the funniest people on this entire universe. We also started interacting because of Vasant and it was the best thing ever. I love your art you are one of the best artist I ever know. You inspired me so much to make my own art and you were one of the first people who encouraged me to post my paper flowers. If I could I would make a tons of paper flowers, you are too good to me. Ilysm you are amazing. 💜💚💖✨
@schrodinger-ka-billa you are the best ever otter god ever and one of the best oersons with whom I interacted. And the only one whom I gave the tag of didi openly (but I'm your didi too lol) I love chatting with you here you the too funny and sweet. Even if our views on the marauders are somewhat different I love that I have found another marauders fan, that's one of the best thing ever in mankind's history. Also I loved hiw caring you are and your asks with buggies were one if the best things ever that happened to me. Ily a tins you are one of my favourite 💚🦦✨
@wulfricnavy we also started interacting during the daddymon thing I think, but anyways you are one of my favourites. I love your fanfic and I'm always waiting for when you will drop your next chapter (do it quick man). You are the best ever dadaji on the internet, a literal legend. I don't know what to say except I like the way you are interested in so many series and you are really really cool :D you are like a neighborhood bhaiya who got backpain ✨💚
@no-idea-where-i-am-lost you are a cutie :D the bestest thakuma everrrrr. Honestly I'm so glad Wulfric introduced you to us you are so sweet and one of the best people here. And one of the Bangalis with whom I enjoyed sharing Pujo moments. You should interact more it would be nice to talk and do more shenanigans together. Also cursedblr awaits you (even tho you've joined) and I really really really really like you so much you are a pookie person 🧡✨💖
@desigurlie you are so so so cool I can't even explain :D you're blog is one of my most favourite blogs, I love your metas and fic and moodboards and the way you do dhobi pachhad to shit anons and other people. You are one of the raddest most amazing didi person I even know. Our first interaction was also because of Vasant if I remember and then it was because of Mahabharat. You are one of my favourite persons online and if I could I'd give you a big fluffy hug and those paper tulips I made for you ilysm 🫂✨💖💚
@intellectual6666 cool cool person I love your fics and your vibe and in general you are kne of the coolest persons here. I don't remember how exactly we became moots and started interacting but your blog is one of the best things on this app and you yourself are one of the sweetest here. You are also like that parar bondhu jar sathe khub bhalo vibe kora jaye. I honestly want to share narkel er naru with you as we both sit quietly and enjoy the peace or gossip who knows. You are a big cutie and I would make you flower crowns if I knew you irl 💐✨💖
@hellincarnation FINALLY the bestest war criminal ever you are so cool and honestly one of the best fucking people I recently talked to. You don't even know how much your shenanigans makes me laugh or how much I enjoy talking to you. We should seriously take over the planet and then have a party. You match my crazy so much its iconic. We really are a duo for chaos. I would do cool and cringe poses with you in public if I knew you irl lol ✨💖🩵 and never hesitate to ask me any question related to thing you wanna know. And ofcourse you are one of the very few who got a nickname. Aro the car guy Satan.
@im-on-crack-send-help YOU ARE SUCH A CUTIE and you're so sweet and caring and nice and cute and basically everything nice and shiny reminds me of you. Ilysm you are one of my favourites and its sad we don't gwt to interact much we should do that honestly but anyways I'd make you all the flower bouquets with paper flowers If I can and I want to sit and eat cookies with you as we watch movies and cry ✨🧡♥️💖
@sumiyxx another cutie! You are one of the best people here and one of the pooliest too. Even if we interact less you are one of my favourite peoples here and I hope we can vibe more and do crazy. Lysm you silly darling you deserve the world and beyond and I'd give you as much as I can once I take over this planet ✨💖💚♥️
@lyrebirb you are one of my favourites easily. Your shitposting era was my favourite and you are so amazing and cool and awesome. You are my favourite birby (I say as a bird hater) and ilysm and I'm so hlad you are back. I loved the time we had a discourse over mermaid meat and eggs it was so funny and K enjoyed it so much you are so cool ✨💐💖🫂
@stxrrynxghts you are such a amazing person and I love love love taking to you :D your fics are amazing and I'm always looking forward to read them (but don't overwork yourself please) you are one of the few people with whom I shared soucha nd you are so amazing and cool and admiration amd everything all together I don't even deserve to be your friend. You are one of my favourite people here and talking to you is so great I love it 🫂💖💙
There are so many more people I'm forgetting to tag but I live y'all so much you precious pookies you all are like those fruits and nuts in my chocolate.
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jenndoesnotcare replied to this post:
Every time LDS kids come to my neighborhood I am so so nice to them. I hope they remember the blue haired lady who was kind, when people try to convince them the outside world is bad and scary. (Also they are always so young! I want to feed them cookies and give them Diana Wynne Jones books or something)
Thank you! Honestly, this sort of kindness can go a really long way, even if it doesn't seem like it at the time.
LDS children and missionaries (and the majority of the latter are barely of age) are often the people who interact the most with non-Mormons on a daily basis, and thus are kind of the "face" of the Church to non-Mormons a lot of the time. As a result, they're frequently the ones who actually experience the brunt of antagonism towards the Church, which only reinforces the distrust they've already been taught to feel towards the rest of the world.
It's not that the Church doesn't deserve this antagonism, but a lot of people seem to take this enormous pride in showing up Mormon teenagers who have spent most of their lives under intense social pressure, instruction, expectation, and close observation from both their peers and from older authorities in the Church (it largely operates on seniority, so young unmarried people in particular tend to have very little power within its hierarchies). Being "owned" for clout by non-Mormons doesn't prove anything to most of them except that their leaders and parents are right and they can't trust people outside the Church.
The fact that the Church usually does provide a tightly-knit community, a distinct and familiar culture, and a well-developed infrastructure for supporting its members' needs as long as they do [xyz] means that there can be very concrete benefits to staying in the Church, staying closeted, whatever. So if, additionally, a Mormon kid has every reason to think that nobody outside the Church is going to extend compassion or kindness towards them, that the rest of the world really is as hostile and dangerous as they've been told, the stakes for leaving are all the higher, despite the costs of staying.
So people from "outside" who disrupt this narrative of a hostile, threatening world that cannot conceivably understand their experiences or perspectives can be really important. It's important for them to know that there are communities and reliable support systems outside the Church, that leaving the Church does not have to mean being a pariah in every context, that there are concrete resources outside the Church, that compassion and decency in ordinary day-to-day life is not the province of any particular religion or sect and can be found anywhere. This kind of information can be really important evidence for people to have when they are deciding how much they're willing to risk losing.
So yeah, all of this is to say that you're doing a good thing that may well provide a lifeline for very vulnerable people, even if you don't personally see results at the time.
#jenndoesnotcare#respuestas#long post#cw religion#cw mormonism#i've been thinking about how my mother was the compassionate service leader in the church when i was a kid#which in our area was the person assigned to manage collective efforts to assist other members in a crisis#this could mean that someone got really sick or broke their leg or something and needs meals prepared for them for awhile#or it could mean that someone lost their job and they're going to need help#it might mean that someone needs to move and they need more people to move boxes or a piano or something#she was the person who made sure there was a social net for every member in our area no matter what happened or what was needed#there's an obvious way this is good but it also makes it scarier to leave and lose access#especially if there's no clear replacement and everyone is hostile#i was lucky in a lot of ways - my mother was unorthodox and my bio dad and his family were catholic so i always had ties beyond the church#my best friend was (and is) a jewish atheist so i had continual evidence that virtue was not predicated on adherence to dogma#and even so it was hard to withdraw from all participation in church life and doubly so because the obvious alternative spaces#-the lgbt+ ones- seemed obsessed with gatekeeping and viciously hostile towards anyone who didn't fit comfortable narratives#so i didn't feel i could rely on the community at large in any structural sense or that i had any serious alternative to the church#apart from fandom really and only carefully curated spaces back then#and like - random fandom friends who might not live in my country but were obviously not mormon and yet kind and helpful#did more to help me withdraw altogether than gold star lesbians ever did
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your room was square
i once noticed from there
in your bed, as you slept
and i held my breath
everything had its own place
and i wondered what space would i take
in the order you kept
#in this drawing i wanted to use the song ‘Square’ by Mitski#personally i feel like this song is about being in love and trying far too hard to be the perfect lover that you are incapable of being#to me it’s like trying to see where you fit in that person’s life and not knowing where you belong in it#but then you’re still longing for that feeling of belonging there with them#so you self-destructively go to great lengths to ‘earn’ your place with them#i feel that the self-destructive behavior of trying to be that perfect lover just to ‘earn’ their love#is exactly the ‘burning’ that Mitski describes#it hurts trying to fit in but not quite succeeding again and again and again...#this is something that i think i relate to#trying far too hard to belong with someone who is 'only sometimes madly in love with me'#and says that i 'wouldn't be their first choice'#-that person kept switching between wanting me as a friend and a lover and now i am neither#and yet therein lies the problem: if i cared less and gave less effort#perhaps we could’ve worked things out without me trying too hard to “earn” their love#but why would i ever try to care less?#the situation was doomed from the start and i lost a friend in the process#i made this illustration to reflect that the best i could. I think the square motif was particularly obvious—#the canvas itself is a square and the illustration itself has to fit in a square box#everything else i drew would have to fit within this box to maintain the “order”#the colors are all some type of blue with not too much contrast except for the text eyes and teardrop on the figure#i wanted to keep contrast low within this illustration— everything should be “fitting in" after all#for the figure itself i wanted it to be clear that the figure is being forced into that square#its body’s being forced into that half of the box and even then its head is forced downwards#it’s clearly not fitting comfortably but it’s sure trying its hardest to#also also also!!! i wanted to do more angular shapes with this drawing because square and whatever lol :P#i don’t think i was particularly obvious in communicating that in the drawing though#but anyways i just wanted to draw to help process something that happened to me a while back :0#i still think i love that person but just like how i don’t have a place in their life#i don’t think they have a place in mine and i think i’m starting to make peace with that :D#jaevyart
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