#but honestly i'm just proud i'm eating a salad

[say-hi-intrepid-heroes]

whoever said that you shouldn't put too much salad dressing on was fucking lying

i've drenched this goddamn salad and it's the best thing i've ever eaten

[creativewritersposts]

not true - Luke Hughes

summary; Luke Hughes x f!reader. You're daydreaming and writing fanfiction about your favorite player until he reads one.

warning(s); maybe grammar errors, angst, fluff

author's note; it's a mix from my old blurbs/imagines in a new one. Part 2 ?

--------------------------------------------------------------

Does anyone know the moment, having a crush on an unknown, famous person? Like saving pictures on your phone and using as wallpaper and thinking about how is it to know this person?

You have this moment. It's no secret you're daydreaming much but you're crushing on Luke Hughes for a weeks now. His curls, his smile, his whole attitude looks perfect. You're in your own world thinking how your life would look like- three perfect Luke baby's, a big house and a cute dog. Yeah, you're daydreaming too much.

"I wrote a new Luke fic, wanna read it?", you speak to your internet friend.

It's not like you don't have friends in real life- but talking with them about cute hockey players you don't feel comfortable with. It's your little secret.

"Sure", she replies and excitement swings in her voice. You send this short story with a proud grin, it took you hours to finish it.

"You have to post this! I love it!", screams Jess through the phone speaker.

"I'll do", copy it in your blog and posting it. You're reading nice comments, when a new notification comes on your screen.

'I'm definitely not the worst cook'. That's it, no profile picture, no caption who this person is. It could be fake. Luke Hughes would never read fanfiction about himself.

You're typing fast, 'who are you?'

An reply comes fast.

'Luke Hughes'

You laugh hysterical, someone wants to fail you. Without an answer you go to bed. It's too much information for you and it's late.

A phone call is waking you up, it's vibrating nonstop next to your bed, tired you grab after your phone, "hello?". Your raspy voice is not powerful.

"WHY IS LUKE HUGHES FOLLOWING YOU", Jess talks without friendly manners.

"No he's not, maybe fake", you rub your eyes. It's too early.

"No it's Luke himself! I'm not blind", she talks nonstop like a waterfall.

You check your Instagram - hundreds of new followers and she's right- Luke Hughes started following you.

"I have no clue", you get in shock. You're still dreaming, there's no other explanation for this.

"You better find out why", Jess laughs happy for you. "I'm not living in New Jersey so I don't think there are chances".

You dressed up, went to work and forgot the time like always - until something rings on the phone again.

The phone rings the last hours more than in your entire life.

"I'm not a bad cook", notification from Luke Hughes himself.

The curly man with incredible hockey skills and two hockey brothers and a legend as mom. This Luke Hughes who's your wallpaper like everywhere you use.

You dance with the phone in your hands before you reply. Breath in, breath out; let's go.

"Ok". Not that bad. Unimpressed.

"I can prove you. I'll cook dinner for you".

Dude, there is some space between you two. You don't think he has a private jet.

"I don't live in New Jersey", you smirk whilst sending him. You're a fangirl but not a puck bunny.

"I have a car", with an winking emoji. How can he dare to be such a tease?

Before you could react he calls per chat, his face comes on the screen, his cap on his head, tired looking face. "Hey", he smirks chill and pets his curls.

"Hello", you wave awkwardly. You're in work clothes so you don't look stylish. "Can you give me your adress?", he asks with a voice crack. "I'm not for one night, Hughes", you warn him. You're disappointed, you always thought he's a gentleman.

"Oh no not this way!", his face gets closer to the screen, "you know I love all my fans but I'm really interested to meet you. Not as what you think", he shyly says. He bites on his lip, waiting for your answer. Honestly you don't know how to react. "I'm not a supermodel. And I like to eat, not just salad", you tell him. "Why are you guys always thinking we just like supermodels?", he's frightened. "Because you follow 45 blonde models on Instagram", the answer comes out your mouth like a pistol.

"Instagram is not real life. Do you like meat?", he's still interested in this conversation.

"Yeah", "ok my navigation says I'm there in 3 hours so better be prepared for the best meal you ever ate!", "wait you know my address?", you get worried. "Your friend Jess told me", he laughs shy.

"Oh my God I'm gonna kill her for that",you mumble to yourself. "Do you want to meet me? Your friend told me you're interested, too", he bites in his nails. "yes!!", you scream louder than you should.

"See you later!", he laughs friendly and closes the video chat.

Your poor heart.

[elis-blawg222]

November 4 - Monday

Soo, I don't remember a lot of what I did Monday, but I'll try to remember the best I can.

I went to my morning classes, but I didn't have any afternoon classes thankfully, so I called Angel as soon as I got out of my classes. I also finished my sketchbook in my first class which was really exciting. I stopped by my house for a bit, and then I went to the store. My phone had died, and I was trying to let it charge so I waited in the parking lot... I waited for like half an hour.. LOL

Then, I finally went into the store and bought some zucchini, squash, greek yogurt, and apples. I also bought a food scale! It's suuper cute. I don't usually like apples, but I thought I'd give them another try pfff. I also got a new kind of greek yogurt and it looks good

I called Angel some more because... what else am I supposed to do..?? I had a little photoshoot of him (my camera roll is filled w/ him) Then there's just like,, missing space. I don't really remember what else I did. Until dinner time. Which is a big gap LOL

For dinner my step mom made baked potatoes and salad. She asked me when she was making the potatoes "Are you gonna have one?"

and I said "uhh yeah." and she was like "Good, because I'm making you one."

But then I started to get really nervous because I didn't want to eat a lot of calories anddd yeah I just started feeling bad, but then Angel said it was fine and I felt better lol.

I didn't take a pic of my dinner today, but there's my cute scale.

Total cals: 775

I was kinda proud of myself this day honestly. Because usually when I felt as bad as I did I wouldn't count my cals, and think the whole world was gonna end and like probably binge and then crash out LOL. But I didn't! I counted my calories which made me feel so so much better and I didn't overeat or binge.

Steps: 2.7k ... no comment..

That's all for todayyy

[the-wayside]

I'm clearing out my fic rambles of things that I wrote that might have been things but probably won't be (at least for a while). I just need them out of my brain space so I can focus on the important stuff.

the memories of you, t/m?, 2k. Older Porsche/younger Kinn. A prologue I guess? It traces to the point at which the hypothetical story would start.

(Heads up, there is ten years' difference and they meet when Kinn is thirteen. nothing underage happens.)

Porsche has worked for the Theerapanyakul family a long time and even amongst all of those years, his loyalty has only ever been to the one who picked him up off the street, bloodied and broken in too many places, and told him he would help him take care of his brother. P’Chan had been his hero in more ways than one, but unfortunately, it’s been almost as many years since Porsche stood at the bottom of P'Chan's open grave and said his goodbyes to his mentor, replacing him as the head of security. Now pushing thirty-seven, he’s got the greys and the body aches that come with the life he’s lived.

He also knows that in and amongst all of it, he was little Kinn Theerapanyakul’s first love. Introduced at twenty-three to his charge’s younger brother, a pale little thirteen-year-old with braces and a bright smile, Porsche found him endearing in his openness. He never said a single word to Porsche for months but his eyes would always light up when Porsche walked into a room and he was distinctly quiet during their training sessions when Porsche would peel off his sweaty vest and wipe his face with it. More than once, Kinn had disappeared with a flushed face and an awkward boner passed off as needing to finish his homework. Porsche left him be because he was harmless. His crush made him interested in things he was not natural to, like gunmanship and knife fighting.

“You need to be as good a shot with your left as your right, Kinn,” Porsche bit his tongue not to call him, Little Dragon, his pet name for Kinn when they first met. Small, but fierce.

Kinn wasn’t a natural, but he was outstanding. And puberty finally blessed him. It cleared up his skin, and with his braces off, his winning smile became blinding. He was still a little scrawny as a teen so Porsche frequently had Nya, the compound chef, cook him up some more chicken and eggs which he tried to push off.

“I can’t eat anymore,” Kinn groused as he rubbed his little belly full of food.

“You need protein to rebuild your muscles. Can’t get strong on rice and salad,” Porsche reminded him.

“You don’t even eat this much,” Kinn whined and Porsche smiled.

“I’m not built to be a heavyweight. You could pack on some serious muscle if you wanted to, Little Dragon.”

Kinn flushes, “Don’t call me that.”

“Why, ‘cause it’s cute?” Porsche teased him, “You are the littlest dragon. Maybe one day you'll grow—”

“I’m grown,” Kinn volleyed with conviction and Porsche stopped because there was an iron to it that he’s never heard from Kinn.

“Are you now?” Porsche replied to ease the tension. “You won’t mind if we do ten proper rounds tomorrow then.”

Kinn exhaled because he’s bought himself a world of pain, but Porsche ruffled his hair, “Don’t be in such a hurry, Kinn, growing up is the worst thing you can do.”

Porsche had watched him grow and become a young man and he was proud. It was an awful day when Khun Korn had set his succession on Kinn’s still too slim shoulders. He smiled like he was grateful and honored, but Porsche watched as the light dimmed from his eyes. He was only eighteen. His ‘adulthood’ had coincided with a changing of mantles. No longer was Tankhun the heir to the family business, it was now Kinn, with all the knowledge that Porsche taught him and then some.

“Did you know?” Kinn breathed as they stood out on his suite balcony.

“I did,” Porsche told him honestly. He knew his work would transition from one heir to the other.

“Fuck you,” Kinn spat at him and Porsche accepted it with a shrug.

Kinn pushed him and said it again and Porsche did nothing to defend himself.

Porsche grabbed still thin wrists and pulled Kinn into him for the hug he didn’t get from his father, “You’re going to be okay; I promise, I’ll take care of you.”

Kinn sobbed for the life he would never have only once, buried in Porsche’s shoulder as he stroked his hair and rubbed his back.

Porsche cupped Kinn’s face when he emerged, puffy and red, and rubbed his cheeks with his thumbs, “There you go.”

Kinn has big brown eyes under thick eyebrows and they made Porsche smile and he stroked his hand over Kinn’s face. The air shifts and Kinn’s hands gripped tighter on Porsche’s waist.

Porsche was about to stop him when Kinn looked down at his lips, “Just once?”

Their dynamic was about to change completely. Porsche would stop being his teacher and shift into his bodyguard, his humor replaced by a list of requirements to ensure Kinn’s safety. They would never be Porsche and Little Dragon again.

In a way, Kinn now in a way looks exactly like the boy he met five years ago, but he’s also a man and Porsche understood him perfectly. He wanted a memory to hold onto. Porsche isn’t so cruel as to deny him that.

“Just once.” Because it’s stupid, irrational, and likely to get him fired and lose everything.

Porsche tipped Kinn’s face up by his chin and sealed his lips over Kinn’s. Kinn sighed and relaxed like it drained all the unhappiness away from him. He fumbles a bit as he opened his mouth and tried to tease Porsche, but it was clumsy, so Porsche worked with him, gentling him and pushing his tongue into Kinn’s mouth as he tugged on Porsche’s hips to bring him in closer. Teaching him as he had always taught him. And then Porsche could feel him pressing hard against his thigh as he licked Kinn’s soft palate and dragged his tongue over Kinn’s before he let them part with a slow kiss against Kinn’s lips. Kinn trembled and Porsche silently folded that up into himself because it was beautiful.

Kinn looked at him with a dazed expression and his lips were red.

“I’ll report to you 7 am sharp tomorrow, Khun Kinn.”

It’s a simple sentence, but it destroyed everything. Porsche was reassigned to Khun as if nothing had changed and Kinn disappeared to study abroad. Porsche only ever heard from him to have weekly updates via teleconference, no video, to keep him in the loop on his brother’s progress. It was as if Porsche was being held away by the length of an invisible stick and Kinn would not let him any closer.

He knows now that wasn’t the end, but it was the beginning of the end. The true end had come at when Kinn was twenty-three and he had come back from school and his year abroad in France, strong and more defined in himself and even more set on his feelings. Confronted with a man who knew what he wanted Porsche struggled to keep the line between them. Kinn wasn’t a child and he wouldn’t be contained.

“Porsche,” Kinn called him over and he walked up to the front of Kinn’s desk. He bowed politely and Kinn pressed his hands together under his chin, the rain a distant sound that prickled between them. “You were wounded on the last excursion.”

He had some fantastic bruising and there is a tense moment between them where Kinn expected him to raise his shirt and he did not.

“I appreciate your concern, Khun, but it’s nothing to fret over,” Porsche immediately realized he had set Kinn off. A rookie error.

“I don’t need you to define what my concerns are,” Kinn scolded him. “If my family is to remain protected you had best be up to the job and to prove it.”

Kinn motioned for Porsche to come and stand before him as he turned his chair away from his desk to make space for Porsche in front of him.

Porsche complied to save a fight and unbuttoned his suit vest, stripped it off and then his shirt. The biggest bruise bloomed ugly on his waist and up onto his ribs. It looked and felt like he had been hit with a boulder. Kinn’s fingers reached out and hovered over touching him. Porsche also realized that he’s softer in places than Kinn remembered, Porsche’s want and willingness to lean and hone his body had taken somewhat of a backseat due to his lessened workload. He’s still cut and his stomach ripples as he turns away from Kinn, but there is a soft overlay that cushions his stomach as Kinn grasps him and holds him by the pained part of his side.

“Ow,” Porsche can’t help it, and perversely, Kinn digs into it harder. Porsche pushes him off and Kinn grabs the back of his thigh and Porsche stumbles into him. Kinn hooks his hands around Porsche’s thighs and somehow hikes him up onto his lap in the chair.

Porsche is left to look down at Kinn, his thighs on either side of Kinn’s as Kinn held his hips, eyes trained on his bruise. He asked Porsche, “Did you kill them?”

“Of course, I killed them. They could have harmed the family.”

Kinn ducked and pressed his forehead against Porsche’s bare chest, “The family.”

Porsche yelped as strong fingers dig into his rear and he tried to pry Kinn loose, “Khun—”

“Fuck you,” Kinn told him once again, those big brown eyes coming up to scorn him. One hand loosens and grabbed Porsche by the back of the neck and yanked him down to press him against Kinn’s mouth. Unlike the clumsy eighteen-year-old, Kinn at twenty-three had practiced, and he stole Porsche’s breath away as he consumed him, tongue demanding entrance into his mouth, doing anything, including jabbing Porsche’s bruise to get it. Porsche gasped, startled and Kinn was inside. His grip meant that Porsche couldn’t go anywhere, he was left pinned as Kinn leaned up into him and repeated back to him the same kiss he was given when they kissed last, but it was not the same. It was not humble or kind. Kinn owned him and left him wrought and raw, breath heavy as Kinn finally let him go.

Porsche was about to speak, to curb the insanity, when Kinn hauls him up with strong, stronger than Porsche remembers, arms and carries him towards the bedroom. Porsche pushed at him, “Kinn.”

“I’m a better fuck than half the guys you’ve been with. If not, I’ll never say another word.”

Porsche should have ended it, but he didn’t. He could make infinite excuses: he was weak, he was lonely, it had been a long time, and Kinn was there. The only one that was true was that in that moment, Porsche wanted him. He forgot about the history, he forgot about his place in it all and he simply wanted the gorgeous man in front of him who made him feel special because five years had passed and Porsche was still at the forefront of his mind. Because it was Kinn.

He still remembers how he cried out when he came, shameless, and Kinn crowing victoriously he wrapped his fingers around Porsche’s throat to hold him back to Kinn’s chest. The window Kinn pressed him into was cold and his legs ached but his body shivered hotly. He mewled and shook and it was exhilarating and embarrassing because Kinn was right. He was a better lay, and within an afternoon, ten years of respect went down the drain. Not respect for Kinn, Porsche’s self-respect because Kinn was his charge, even when he wasn’t, and Porsche couldn’t keep it, or his legs, together.

Maybe Kinn thought that if they slept together things would change. Porsche would change. But he didn’t. He showered and dressed and he presented himself to Kinn’s bedraggled hair and sleep-rumpled face.

“You have a meeting at 10 am, Khun Kinn.”

Kinn glares at him, “You’re fired.”

Porsche nods, “Of course.”

His father put Porsche on Khun’s detail far away from Kinn until he left for a business trip that was supposed to last six months but it ended up being three years.

Porsche figures they must have it under control by this point so that when he greets Kinn now, it can be as his true guide and mentor.

Kinn gets out of his Maserati but the passenger side door also swings open and a man, a little older than Kinn but younger than Porsche, gets out with a wide, almost smarmy, smile.

Pete nudges him in the side, “That’s Khun Kinn’s boyfriend, right?”

Porsche has no idea, “I think so.”

“When he said he was bringing him home, I didn’t think he’d go through with it,” Pete murmurs but Porsche has Kinn pinned with a look. He doesn’t know what his face is saying but Kinn is staring back at him just as hard.

Pete reaches out first with a bow, “Khun Kinn.”

“Pete, Tawan, Pete is part of my brother’s detail under Porsche,” Kinn gestures to Porsche.

Porsche doesn’t bow, “I serve as the head of security under Khun Kinn’s employ.”

He lets his gaze slide over to Tawan, “You’ll understand if we have to make some adjustments while you stay here.”

His voice is thin and tight and Kinn barely conceals his glare. Porsche doesn’t care, Tawan seems none the wiser, “That seems reasonable, it was a very abrupt visit after all. I’ve been bugging Kinn to meet his family for months.”

Months. They were fucking the last time Kinn came home and Kinn looks at him while he makes the calculation. Not that he should even have to, Kinn isn’t his boyfriend or even his fuck buddy. He’s pretty sure Kinn has a detailed list about that rather than informing his head of security that he’s bringing an unvetted individual to the compound.

“There’s no problem, is there, Porsche?” Kinn smiles but it’s vacant and he wraps his hand around Tawan’s wrist like a shackle. Porsche eyes his hand and then looks at his face, “Why would there be?”

[cobycobsy2k]

FOOD TASTING

James and Salma were the first to move on to the tasting round

Coco: Very well guys, what dish are you going to delight us with today?

Salma: Well, we have made some sandwiches along with a chili that my mother made at every family gathering.

Xander: Really? Your mom must be very proud of you Salma!

James: Salma and I spread out making the food, I hope you like it!

Upon tasting the food, Coco and Xander were delighted by the exquisite flavor of the chili and the toasting of the sandwich!

Xander: Delicious! I'll give them an 8.5 out of 10!

Coco: You're right Xander, this is delicious, I'll give them a 9 out of 10!

---JAMES AND SALMA HAVE PASSED THE ROUND----

The next to pass were Hazal and Francisca who came with great joy

Hazal: Hey babies, get ready to enjoy some very tasty food!

Coco: Wow! I can't believe they made something so delicious like Crepes and a good turkey, right Xander?

Xander (eating the turkey): Sorry! I couldn't contain myself any longer HAHAHA! It's so tasty!

Coco: well girls! Xander and I will give them a 10 out of 10, just look at it Hahaha!

Francisca: We did it Hazal! We passed this round!!

Hazal: High five Francie!!

---FRANCISCA AND HAZAL HAVE PASSED THE ROUND!!---

Now it's Keegan and Lexie's turn, who were very excited about their dishes!

Xander (Excited): IT CAN'T BE!! It's Salmon, My favorite food!!

Coco: And my favorite salad, the chef's salad!! How did you know it's our favorite food?

Lexie: Honestly Keegan and I had to read some magazines to find out!

Keegan: Do you like it, Cutie?

Xander (a little blushing): Yes! thank you very much to both of you hahaha

Coco: I'll give you a 10 out of 10 guys!!, everything is very delicious!!

Xander: So do I! Really, Lexie and Keegan thank you very much!

Lexie: OMG! I can't believe it Keegan! This needs to be celebrated!

Keegan: You're right Lexie! We have to do something to celebrate!!

---KEEGAN AND LEXIE HAVE PASSED THE ROUND---

Coco: Hey Xander, isn't anyone else missing?

Xander: I think so, but I don't see that they've done anything… Let me check.

In another part of the mansion

Hazal and Charlie were fighting wildly in the kitchen.

Hazal: I can't stand you anymore Son of a bitch!! Do you really think I'm going to let you make up other people's shit!?

Charlie: You better stop screwing up my life, Bastard!!

Lauryn: Please stop fighting! Francisca, do something!!

Francisca: I won't do it until this asshole stops making up rumors about me!!

UNFORTUNATELY, LAURYN AND CHARLIE HAVE LOST THE ROUND. A VOTE WILL BE TAKEN FOR THE ELIMINATION OF ONE OF THEM

[pbandjesse]

I had a really good day. I did sleep a bit weird. It was deep sleep but I had some intense and weird dreams. So when James came and said good morning to me I was a little dazed. But it was okay. I would shake it off pretty soon.

I went and got washed up and dressed. I felt very cute and good. My hair looked great. My eyes didn't hurt as much.

James drove me to work. Got me breakfast. I love my James. They also came inside the museum to help fix the DVD player because it was being weird. And then they were off.

I had an excellent day. We had a new educator Sarah and she would be with me all day. She was lovely.

I walked her through the whole museum. Giving her an overview of all the pieces of the programs we were doing today. And it was a lot! Mostly because we had some big groups today. But I was looking forward to it.

I got a big laugh when we went back to the break room and Adam had a plastic cup with a jellyfish in it???? He caught it in the harbor and was going to keep it as a pet?? I was like this seems like a bad idea but apparently he's been doing it a long time and has a tank set up for it. It was fun to see. Though I did think it was a tea bag in a cup at first.

Soon the kids were there. And they were all very sweet. I got them off the bus and inside and soon enough we were breaking into groups.

We were a bit early though and with my schedule having movie and lunch first I couldn't really start to early. So we took a bathroom and water break and I read the sign about the generator and electricity to them and they were honestly all so sweet.

I had the largest group of the 3. 21 kids. Which is fine. But it was the largest neighborhood I've ever had! But that was a problem for later.

I took them to the movie and then went to hang out in the break room. And then it was lunchtime. And Sarah would join me and we talked for a while. About my meeting tomorrow and just some museum stuff. How much I love it. And how it's scary to think about leaving to go to puhtok full time. She thinks I'm being very reasonable with what I'm asking for. I'm still nervous though!!

The rest of the day was good but timing was a little tough with such a big group. We had city builders first. And I had them all choose their buildings. They were great honestly. And I really just enjoyed their company. Sarah helped a lot with putting the buildings together. And then once everyone was done we did our story about our buildings. Which was just good fun. Hearing what everyone thought. I accidently gave them two banks so I had the girls chose their interest rates. 15 and 20%! It was very funny.

And then to the neighborhood. Thankfully the bus wasn't leaving until 145 because we fully went over by 10 minutes. It was a lot. But they all did such a good job in their roles. They were excellent listeners and had a lot to share and I was just really proud of them.

We finished up and got everyone to decker to meet the rest of their class. Who was getting ready to get on the bus. And then one of my kids said they lost their glass bead and he was almost crying so I ran as fast as I could to get him one before they left and I made it!! He was so happy.

I went with Sarah to collect everything then we went to do oysters. I took a few minutes to eat my sandwich. And then joined everything upstairs.

We got a lot done and cleaned up. It was nice talking to everyone. And soon James was there too!! Jessica came up to ask how the day went and she was like stop giving them glass beads!! But I am positive I have told her I did that before because they say it's a crystal and they get so excited. I'm going to buy a bag of them to make up to her so she's not upset with me!! I still think it's funny.

Me and James headed home. And I felt pretty good for once. Not exhausted. I would get changed and James would make me a little milkshake. I worked on a drawing and we hung out in bed. They would make me a beautiful salad for dinner. And we shared some chips.

James had their podcast tonight. Another guest which was very cool! And while they did that I worked in the studio. I added backs to more of my resin bears. And finally embroidered my apron for awah. Which I think came out so cute.

James made a big fuss about my embroidery which made me feel good. And they would have some dinner. I would chill in bed and do my eyebrows and watch some videos.

And now it's gotten late all of a sudden. But that's okay. I am going to go shower now and get ready to sleep.

Tomorrow I have my meeting with Alexi and she suggested making a Google call so I don't have to come out there. So I get to have most of the day off so that is really nice.

Let's hope the conversation goes well though. Cause I want this to work out. So wish me luck. Sleep well my friends. Goodnight!!

[casspurrjoybell-33]

Wreckless - Games

*Warning Adult Content*

Emmett

This morning, after Finnegan left, I finally got around to going through my mail from last week.

Most of it was crap, of course but one letter surprised me so much that I sat down before opening it.

I didn't expect to hear back, I just submitted a few photos on a whim while Finnegan was in Michigan.

I'd thought that having something to look forward was good even though I knew I didn't have a chance.

But now I'm holding a letter from the Maryland Arts Council.

Every fall they offer a class and then do a huge photography exhibition that gets seen by important people.

People who launch careers.

People who make money for people like me.

I guess they could be nice and respond to all the applicants.

That's probably it.

Until I open it I don't know if I've been accepted or not.

It's like that dead cat in a box.

I might have gotten in.

Once I read it, I'll know I didn't.

Not that I expected to, I've never been able to devote the time and energy into it that I want to.

Some people don't have jobs and bills to pay and have parents to buy them great cameras and all the lenses they want.

I have to make do.

This class, shit, I can't go even if I want to.

Job. See? So it doesn't matter, I'll just open it.

I rip it open and then pull the letter out gingerly.

It's folded in three and I slowly flatten it out on the table.

Dear Mr. Emmett Locke.

Shit... SHIT... Holy shit I'm in.

Damn.

I'm floored, honestly and damn proud of myself.

I can't accept... I'm not free from 9 to 5 for two weeks in September and October but that's okay, just knowing I got in is enough to get me excited about working on my pictures from the beach.

Unfortunately I have to work so the pictures will wait until Thursday when I'm off.

I head to the garage and let me tell you, Peter is glad I'm back if the sign, chocolate bar and little note saying 'better you than me today' is any indication.

We have cars in both bays and two parked out front, they got a little backed up last week so I spend the day doing two sets of brakes and some transmission work.

When I get home Wednesday evening, Finnegan is gaming.

His tongue is out and he's laser focused.

He's at least taken time to get out of the monkey suit and get himself a drink but he doesn't even look at me when I walk in.

"Hey darling."

No answer. Okay?

I go get cleaned up and out of my dirty clothes and then start on dinner.

Once the pasta is cooking I sit down next to him.

I didn't see much of him Monday or Tuesday, so much for not needing to be in the office, so I'm glad he's home for dinner tonight.

"Short day for you. I'm glad. Dinner in about ten minutes."

"Not hungry, wanna play."

Okay, I've been patient.

"Did you have dinner, Finn?"

Because if so, when I got home would have been the time to tell me.

"Nope."

"Then you'll eat when it's ready."

"No."

He's never been this bratty before.

I wonder if something happened at work today or if this is just from having no little time Monday and Tuesday.

Maybe he's in withdrawal after last week.

I snake my hand down behind him and press against his hole right through his undies.

"You'll do what I say, Finn."

He's still trying to play but I lean over and nibble on his neck.

"Emmett."

"For being a brat you can come set the table."

I know this game autosaves so I grab the remote and turn the TV off.

"No, Emmett. That's mean."

"Ignoring me when I got home was mean, Finn. Telling me you won't eat the dinner I made is mean. I think you desperately need a lesson in how to treat me."

He's not mad now, he's smiling.

"I like lessons."

He follows me into the kitchen and grabs the salad, taking it to the table.

Before long we're eating, I just had to drain and sauce the pasta and he is shoving food into his mouth.

Not three minutes later he hops up, drops his plate in the sink, mumbles a thank you and disappears back into the living room.

Nope, not happening.

I finish eating and when I head out he's playing the game again, of course.

He hasn't even sat down, he's right up against the coffee table as if it'll help him play better.

I haven't done that since I first started watching porn.

I decide that if he's going to play... I'm going to play with him.

I grab the lube and then yank him down onto my lap.

"A good little boy doesn't treat his master like this, Finn. Now you're going to make it up to me."

"No, Emmett. I'm playing. Gonna beat the boss."

"I'm the boss, babe but you can keep playing. In fact, I insist."

I grind my cock against his ass while palming him.

He squirms, pressing against my hand.

"It's hard, Em."

"Lots of things are hard."

Our cocks, playing while being messed with, life.

"Lift up."

I manage to wiggle his undies down and then I perch him on my knees so I can really play with him.

I decide to hold him by the balls and start opening him up with one finger.

His thighs are flexing and he's clenching around me but managing to play, somehow.

I wonder how long he can do it.

Eventually I have two fingers massaging his spot while I slowly jerk him off.

He finally tries to put the controller down.

"Feels so good, Emmett."

"Uh uh but you keep playing. Your game is more important than me, so you just keep going."

"Is not, I'm sorry."

He tries to turn around but I hold him in place.

"Not yet you're not. Keep going."

He picks it back up and I tease and mess with him for another twenty minutes.

There's a rivulet of sweat going down his back and I've lost track of how many times he's died.

"Please? Please Em. I need you."

"I thought you wanted to beat the boss and you haven't yet, have you?"

"Can't concentrate Em. need lovies."

"Is that so?"

I love playing with him but I only have so much self-control.

I nudge him forward and he ends up on his knees, chest resting on the coffee table.

"Keep playing, Finn."

"No, want lovies. Please Em."

Well, if his hands aren't busy holding a controller.

"Show me... hold that little ass open for me."

Damn that's sexy as hell.

I really like his hands back here and he does have a sweet, sweet hole.

"You've been a very naughty boy, Finn."

"I know, I'm sorry Em. Will you hurt me?"

He's begging for it, he wants it rough.

Fine.

"You deserve it. You shouldn't ignore your master because when you do, you'll get in trouble and you, little boy.... are in big trouble."

Time to make him scream.

[marcholasmoth]

OSRR: 3284

i went to the fabric store this morning with my mom to find a good color for the edge of her stained glass quilt. i pulled the winning bolt.

we went to lull farms and got some fresh peaches and a couple eclairs, which in my opinion are delicious. they're hefty chonkers and i'm happy to eat them.

i eventually made my way to work, intending to stop at the cafe at the school to get something for lunch, but when i got there, there wasn't anybody working, so i couldn't get food. so i grabbed a bottle of juice from a vending machine and made my way to the library.

i worked with three people on probability and statistics. and then when i was done i did some more. but one student was almost finished with all of her work, so she brought me a chocolate chip muffin, two donuts, and a gift card to express her gratitude for my help. she's been a sweetheart the whole time so i'm happy i was able to help her. i'm very proud of her.

anyway, after work i made it home and we had pork chops for dinner, and after dinner i sat down to write. i hammered out about 1500 words in an hour and added three and a half pages to a story i'd been working on for a WHILE, and i didn't realize it had been so long, honestly. i looked at the dates things were saved and they said DECEMBER. it's AUGUST. what???? when did that happen????? i could've sworn it was only march when i put those other files together. december???????????

fuck the passage of time. fr.

i had been asked to make tuna and clean out the cat's litter box, so after i finished writing, i set out to make the tuna, but i also wanted to make chicken salad for myself for lunches. i cut up all of the celery, but as i was squeezing out the liquid from the second can of chicken, i sliced my finger on the can. immediately it started hurting so i rinsed it, grabbed a paper towel, and then put pressure on it. in the meantime, i looked up how to know if you need stitches and which open emergency room was closest.

because at the cutoff of ten minutes, it was still bleeding.

so my dad to be to the emergency room where we sat for like an hour without being called in for anything or even triaged.

(short staffing is a bitch.)

but eventually i looked it at, and i let it bleed for a little longer, but then it stopped! so i told the nurse at the window and we came back home.

mom helped me put a bandage on and i sent mayo the last of the fic i did for them, but i gotta say i'm really proud of how it turned out.

i also texted joel in the middle of the ordeal and was like "grumble grumble grumble i cut my finger" and thankfully it's on the top because if it were on the bottom or the pad i would've died immediately, just, like,

what a fun use of a gif.

so now i'm in bed and i need sleep badly. my finger is bundled up and i'm glad i didn't need stitches. i'm glad i didn't stay. i'd be there for another seven hours or something.

[oblivious-aro]

So in this particular case I was complaining about teasing, specifically in the Ace Attorney franchise (I lied for to give this post more mass appeal, sorry for being a sellout), because MAN is it a problem from the third game onward. My exact words were "I can't stand teasing", and my sister responded with "sounds like a you problem".

My sister is a weeb who approaches media criticism like a Steven Universe fan in 2018. In other words, she does not respond well to negative criticism of things she likes. That being said, she hasn't played any of the Ace Attorney games, she just reacts that way to any negative criticism of anything from me (she's one of those people who has to say "in my opinion" 50 times before saying anything negative). To summarize years of sibling drama, we used to fight about Steven Universe (and other stuff, but that was the main one) as teenagers who, in hindsight, both really could've used some therapy. I definitely said some dumb stuff I'm not proud of, but I like to think I've at least gotten a little more skilled and considerate of the way I talk about media since then, but my sister still views media criticism the same way she did as a teenager (and not to be tactless, but not a very emotionally stable teenager at that), which among other things, means her go-to is "your framing your opinion as fact!"

And the thing about framing your opinion objectively vs. subjectively is that it's just a very juvenile thing to focus on. It's a low effort criticism that doesn't actually engage with what the speaker is saying. Which sucks because 9 times out of 10, I've put a fair bit of thought into the opinion I'm presenting, and you've just shot me down completely with a single thoughtless retort.

Calling someone out for 'framing their opinion as fact' is like putting tomatoes in a fruit salad. Congrats, you're technically correct, but your fruit salad sucks.

Not only is it smug and nitpicky, it's also dishonest. They don't want to listen to your opinion, but they can't admit that that's a then problem, so they try and make it seem like you're fault they're not engaging.

Imagine you've gone to the trouble to make a new interesting meal for supper, only for them to refuse to even try it because of the garnish. Sure, I don't expect everyone to like everything I cook. If you don't want to eat it, you can just say so, but you're not even going to try it and act like it's my fault?

No, that's stupid. I generally try to be accommodating, but I refuse to bend to such a petty and disrespectful request. Pick the garnish off yourself. I know you can do it if you want to. It is not hard.

But there's a reason they won't do it. One night, I forgot to put the garnish on, and do you know what happened? That same person said they weren't interested in trying the meal because there was no garnish.

Honestly, I want even mad. Well okay, I was a little mad, but I wasn't surprised. As I said, the garnish is easy to pick off, just like mentally switching someone's word choice from "is bad" to "I don't like" is easy. It was never anything you did, they never wanted to engage with your opinion in the first place, so they pull out whatever excuse is available to paint their refusal to engage as your fault. It doesn't have to be good, they just need something, anything, to reassure themselves that their refusal to engage is your fault so they don't have to examine themselves.

What are they trying to avoid examining? Well they're are two possibilities. The first is that they are too attached to the media being criticized, and can't handle the prospect of someone seeing it as imperfect, so they must prove them wrong to protect their perception of said media.

The second is that they just don't like the person speaking, so they'll take whatever route to frame them as wrong or get them to shut up. My sister's done her fair share of the first (ie. Steven Universe), but considering she hasn't played (or watched much) Ace Attorney, her attitude tends to fall in the second category regarding me (in case it wasn't obvious, or relationship is...less than stellar). She once told me off for being "too negative" for complaining about Young Justice, but I later heard her making similar complaints about the show to our brother.

You may also notice this attitude regarding certain popular youtubers and other celebrities. It doesn't matter how flimsy the reasoning, just as long as they have a "reason" to write you off.

Don't think I've gotten that one, but I can see it and oof that sucks :/

If there's one thing I've learned, it's that someone complaining you "frame your opinions as fact" has no intention of engaging with you honestly, and you straight-up just shouldn't bother with them. They've got their own shit to sort out.

Me: "Shows that do that trope are terrible."

Them: "You're framing your opinion as an objective fact, so that makes you automatically wrong."

Me: "I hate it when TV shows so that trope."

Them: "Wow, sounds like a you problem."

[nagipops]

hii I love your blogs sooo much you're really talented (I just needed to say it sorry) so straight to the point, I already made 2 requests to you and I really enjoyed your writing so I would like to make another again. As I'm clueless about what to request I'll just ask for random hcs for konoha 11, idk if it's too much but if so then you can do with Neji (I love him so much), Kakashi and Naruto. Thank you in advance and sorry anything ^^

RANDOM KONOHA 11 HEADCANONS!

FEATURING: naruto, sakura, shikamaru, ino, choji, neji, rock lee, tenten, kiba, hinata, and shino

WARNINGS: mentions alcohol, drugs, food, bugs, and the tiniest nsfw mention if you get the joke. hehe

A/N: AHHHH ANONN this seriously made my day, im so so glad you enjoy my work!! 💖

NARUTO

you know how we all have “the chair”, where we throw all of our dirty clothes onto?

yeah, imagine that, but from the seat to the fricking ceiling

its just a GINORMOUS MOUND of clothes, you wonder how he even goes through that many clothes so quickly???

definitely shoves it under his bed whenever guests come over (somehow)

holds chopsticks really weirdly. but it works.

asked tenten to put his hair into space buns to mimic his sexy jutsu and went around flirting with the village

jiraiya was so proud of him T-T

comes up with the WORST pickup lines

they’re so bad, its almost charming. almost

has gone AWOL multiple times, disappearing from everywhere, just everywhere

it scared you a little, so you searched the entire village for him

you finally found him sitting on the ledge of a cliff, gazing out at the vast sea

concerned and panicked, you cried out to ask him what was wrong

he turned to you with a crestfallen, devastated look on his face and said,

“i bought shrimp ramen instead of chicken ramen.”

you’ve never searched for him after his disappearance ever again.

SAKURA

100% makes origami shurikens and chucks them at you

they are deathly precise and deathly sharp. seriously, how are these not illegal weapons yet???

writes threatening motivational notes to herself on the mirror

“u got this!” “make sure to smack naruto today!” “ino sucks!”

her backpack would always be way too high up on her back. idk why but. it would

does her hair all nice and pretty before she goes out but once she arrives to her destination SHE KEEP. TAKING. IT OUT. and redoing it over and over and over again

like it’s impossible to make eye contact with her because she’s holding a bobby pin between her teeth while braiding her hair

her guilty pleasure would be hostess treats

ding dongs are her favorite. don’t ask me how i know, i just know.

eats the yellow starbursts just to spite naruto and all her haters

loves small lap dogs, she think’s they’re so cute and cuddly

but she especially loves chihuahuas

they’re so feisty and naruto HATES them, so of course she had to go and get one for herself

dresses the poor dog up in little bonnets and jackets and ties its tiny fuzzy hairs into pigtails

she and the chihuahua are not that much unlike <3

SHIKAMARU

this man is a god at shogi but he absolutely SUCKSSSS at cup pong.

is this an ick? idk. but he is absolute trash at this game.

it gets even worse when he’s got a couple drinks in him

tries to calculate the velocity and acceleration and angle and shit but his shot is always a good two feet off BYE 😭

just mutters an “aw, shit” before awaiting his turn again

hates checkers, loves chess

“checkers is for WUSSIES” - shikamaru nara

i said this in another post, but he is Very Good at whistling

like that’s his hidden talent

can copy any tune with the perfect pitch and rhythm

speaking of, he can do really cool tricks with his tongue

like making a four leaf clover, touching the bridge of his nose with it, flipping it upside down, you name it

he has slanted, scrawled handwriting, to the point where it’s almost illegible

wbk he cheats in school SO OFTEN. but he never gets caught. he’s not stupid, he just couldn’t care less about his classes.

thinks weed and e-cigs are stupid, cigarettes are where it’s at

you just can’t replicate the feeling of taking a drag from a cig after a long, tiring day

plus he looks hella cool while doing it B)

INO

teaches the boyz™️ how to braid their hair

like they all gather in a circle around this feisty fashionista and fail attempt to braid their hair

sakura was just fuming in the sidelines

“OI, INO-PIG, THAT’S A DUTCH BRAID, NOT A FRENCH BRAID!!”

yeah, ino 🙄

the only one that can actually do it is neji because a) this man is talented af and b) he’s got the long hairrr

ino probably envies his thick, sleek hair because hE’S a bOy

also asks everyone for their blood type and zodiac signs and tells them if they’re compatible with her or not

and definitely judges you for your sign 😣

“oh, you’re a gemini? hmm, what a shame...”

makes bouquets for her favorite people and kin assigns everyone a flower

only assigns the pretty nice ones to the people she likes (sorry sakura, you’re out of luck)

one of her favorite hobbies is crafting! she’s really good with details and small things so she loves making those miniature dollhouses and stuff

also really good at watercoloring. especially painting flowers and landscapes

also i feel like she would be really good at playing any instrument because of her skilled hands

can play a badass flute solo. period.

CHOJI

would honestly rather die than get anywhere NEAR an asparagus

he just thinks they’re so gross and bitter and NOT SALTY

he always eats his yakiniku a little bit undercooked because he’s way too impatient to wait for it to cook fully. who do you think he is??

whenever he cloud gazes with shikamaru, when asked what he thinks a cloud looks like, he just says some sort of food

“oi, choji, what does that one look like to you?”

“a... yakiniku grill... with... pineapple rings on it! ooh, and a wagyu steak right there!”

he thinks pringles are an abomination to society. where’s the crisp? where’s the grease? where’s the saltiness?!!!

asks ino to teach him how to do his hair all fancy and the two of them devote an entire day learning different hairstyles

it’s his new favorite thing to do now :D

he really likes crayons!!!!

like he’ll write with them, draw with them, color with them, do everything with them

he’s even tried to eat them. he said they tasted good.

definitely had the 128 crayon pack WITH THE BUILT-IN SHARPENER, and everyone thought he was the coolest kid in town

he ate it UP, he even scored some bbq dates with the ladies

i also feel like he loves basketball, and he has a MEAN slam dunk

like his vertical isn’t that high, but the man can REACH

he loves when people laugh at him when he challenges them to a 1v1 and then proceeds to absolutely destroy them <3

NEJI

he seems like a cucumber kind of guy.

just cucumber

like i feel like he puts it in everything; soba, salads, sandwiches, his face, yeah

it’s mellow and cool, just like him!

speaking of, i feel like he lives for spa days and facials

it just lets him be alone in his little cucumber scented world for an hour or two and he gets damn clear skin from it as well

seriously he has PERFECT skin. flawless. not a single blemish. his cheeks feel like baby butts they’re so smooth.

i feel like he’d be a god at solving rubik’s cubes, don’t ask me why

like if anyone scrambled theirs on accident they would just take it to neji and he’d solve it in the blink of an eye

CAT PERSON!!! loves the little meow meows

who are we kidding, neji basically is a cat; agile, aloof, does silly things without trying to, very cute

he just feels akin to the little fuzzballs and he thinks petting cats are extremely therapeutic. good for the soul

he is a golf man. he would take his juniors golfing and everyone thinks he’s uncool. cmon neji let them go to the skate park at least T-T

also very good at karaoke, definitely surprised everyone once he got a few drinks in him since he started serenading you

LIGHTWEIGHT!!! do not get more than one shot of alcohol in him. he will go berserk.

i also feel like he’d really love photography; not taking pictures of people, but of nature

he loves taking a quiet stroll through a pretty forest and snapping pictures of all the unique flora and fauna

it’s so serene ︶ ‿ ︶

ROCK LEE

100% milly rocks everywhere

gai got in on it too once he asked what lee was doing

“is that what all the youthful cool kids do these days!”

they also dab together. a lot

DO NOT BE SEEN WITH THESE TWO!!! you are not associated with them.

definitely is the one breakdancing in the middle of the dance circle at a high school party

he’s mad skilled at it too

headspins and windmills galore

challenged naruto to a dance-off and completely OBLITERATED him

lee then asked if naruto wanted a rematch, this time with one hand tied behind lee’s back

naruto obliged, and he STILL lost

RIP naruto and his fangirls, they all scrambled to lee afterwards T-T

i feel like his favorite subject is science

not the boring physics equations and laws and theories but the fun EXPERIMENTS

definitely has singed all of his hair off one time and he went to gai blubbering to help him grow back his precious hair

but he loves experimenting with different combinations and chemicals to get different reactions each time

created a potent love potion and carried it around with him all day one day

and it was actually working

girls were flocking to him left and right, staring at his lips and his face

he was so abashed at the sudden attention

heck, it even worked on sakura

“oi, lee-san!”

“hehe, yes, sakura-san?”

her eyes shifted downwards to his lips and his heart thumped harder

“hey... lee-san?”

“what is it?”

“you have something on your lip. we’ve been trying to tell you all day but you just winked and blew kisses at us.”

legend has it lee has still not recovered to this day.

TENTEN

has THE prettiest handwriting. and she can write SUPER fast

it’s like a superpower

like she transcribed five pages of a report in less than two minutes with perfect handwriting

naruto is so jealous.

she is also super good at origami! those diligent, accurate hands aren’t just for throwing things

taught sakura how to make shurikens but does NOT endorse any violent uses of them

she can replicate all of her weapons with paper and they can actually function, it’s so cool

made paper kunai knives one day and the wholeee village wanted to get their hands on them

i feel like she’d listen to mitski. idk i just get those vibes

LOVES BIG DOGS!! especially fluffy wuffy samoyeds

like man’s best friend?? no, GIRL’S BEST FRIEND!!

hugs and cuddles and squishes all the big dogs

she thinks small dogs are spawns of satan

sakura and her have definitely quarreled over this

but at the end of the day, all dogs are adorable fur babies, so she lets it slide :,)

KIBA

kiba always looks SO GOOD in photos you take of him, candid or not

like you could just whip out a camera and snap a photo of him at any given moment and he would look perfect

you framed a picture of him yelling at akamaru for peeing inside the house

it’s pure artwork

i feel like he tries to swagger around with his hands shoved in his pockets but it fails MISERABLY and the girls are wondering if he broke his leg or something 😭

kiba just walk normally. for the love of god please just walk normally.

he tries to slump back in his chair really low but one time he slouched way too low so he slipped off of his chair and onto the ground LMFAOOOO

he just wallowed there... in shame...

also.. he LOVES when the girls put makeup on him!!

he tries to act like he hates it. but it secretly gives him so much confidence

not to mention the girls hyping him up are a huge ego boost

okay the inside of his jacket hood is the warmest. thing. EVER!!!

seriously, no wonder this dude is so happy-go-lucky all the time, he’s living in literal heaven 24/7

it’s like you’re sleeping on a cloud inside a warm, cozy bed during a cold winter morning

10/10 would recommend letting him give you his sweatshirt when you’re chillin with a hair tie ❤️

HINATA

always smells like lavender soap. always

also has the cutest pencil pouches with little puppy faces and kawaii things

oH and she has those mini yoobi highlighters, she thinks they’re so cute (and functional!)

everyone flocks to her to try them out and marvel at the cute tiny highlighters

and they try to steal them from her but she doesn’t even stop them because she’s too timid to 😭

naruto goes BALLISTIC over them

she lets him have all of them <3

tennis girl!!! tennis girl.

all of her opponents always underestimate her because she’s so timid and shy and quiet

but she has a KILLER serve

and then she takes her opponents to the slaughterhouse with a complete shutout ;)

she’s really athletic believe it or not, she can beat most of the boys in a mile run and she has incredible endurance

i feel like she really loves velvet scrunchies

she just thinks they’re so pretty and they keep her hair soft so they’re cute and functional

also takes the PRETTIEST notes!!

color codes, dividers, headers, you name it, it’s all super readable too its insane

everyone asks her for her notes, not to study but just to appreciate the pure artwork that it is ^w^

SHINO

shino is SO easy to prank

“how do you catch an eyemaster?” *cue naruto and kiba snickering*

“eyemaster bait. that is because—”

even when everyone’s laughing their asses off, he still continues to explain his answer since he does NOT GET THE JOKE

tried his hand at writing haikus

here’s his best one so far:

“Bugs are amazing. That is because they are bugs. Bugs are very nice.” - Shino Aburame

VERY proud of it, since it took him weeks to perfect

praise it, pls

had one of those ant farms and bug-catching kits as a kid

and he would fill the kit TO THE BRIM. LIKE IT WAS HEAVY BECAUSE THERE WERE SO MANY BUGS.

he loves the little chitters of the different bugs

he had jars of different bugs all lined up on a wall shelf in his room

collects silkworms off of trees and sticks them into his pockets (no i definitely did not do this as a kid...)

HELP I FEEL LIKE he would record a timelapse of his ant farm growing and upload it to youtube with a movie maker title screen that says

“my ants”

if you enjoyed this post, likes and reblogs are much appreciated :) feel free to request here, and make sure to read the rules first! have a lovely day everyone <3

[lexa-griffins]

Do farm clexa sell anything from their farm like fruits, vegetables, milk, eggs, meat, etc? I'm just imagining they set up a small stand at their town's weekly farmers market where they sell their goods for some extra cash on the side.

How cute would it be if Madi were to help them as customers come and shop their produce and food 🥺 She hands out free samples of their fruit and veggies from their garden. She even tells them that she grew them all by herself and hopes they like it and buy some. How can any customer refuse when Madi looks at them with her adorable curls, freckles, and big smile 😁

She even helps Clarke with the cash register and ringing people's orders up. She also likes handing out the change but it takes her a while as she's still learning how to count but no one cares when they have the cutest cashier helping them ☺️

Also, Madi loves to walk around the farmers market holding her mommy's hand and look at all the cool stands and food and products that people are selling. Her favorite ones are the stands with the free food samples because she's always hungry and has a massive sweet tooth. All the regulars love her and always spoil her with larger sample sizes.

They do! They sell mainly produce and eggs as well as a few baked goods Lexa makes. They have a whole adorable set up with a flipped painted crate for Madi to stand on and hand drawn signs with the price made by Clarke.

🥺🥺🥺 shut up that's so fucking cute!! Madi is usually on vegetable duty since those are the ones she helps plant and the ones she knows better, people are always so enchanted by this tiny little girl counting out loud to herself as she puts their mushrooms one by one in the bag. And honestly she's the best little sales lady :'). She tells people mommy makes the best soups and salads with their carrots, they should really try it :D! And she helped them grow because now her mommy lets her be the one to plant and water them! I swear it's the hardest thing to resist, old ladies in particular seem to have a hard time no falling for little Madi's selling techniques, one look at those freckled rosy chubby cheeks with a smile that's so similar to Lexa's when she was little and they are buying things they already have at home and don't need. Her pride and joy tho is when she on cake duty, she helps Lexa bake a lot of the lemon bars and brownies they sell and it's something she adores doing with her mommy so when people by a slice and eat it right there showering them with compliments Madi gets so happy her and mommy's baking was as delicious to others as it was to her :')

Ah yes, Clarke's little helper! People joke that while Madi is an exact copy of Lexa looks wise all of her mannerisms are definitely Clarke's (which makes Clarke all proud). She always makes sure to show Clarke the change so she can confirm she's right, and a little down the road she's the one who confirms if her siblings are doing it correctly, big sister duties and all. And honestly her being there is a huge help when it's too hot for Lexa to be standing on her feet all morning while pregnant so she can sit in the van for a while knowing Clarke won't be too overwhelmed with things. She loves hearing her baby go "I'm almost finished here, I can help who's next!" in her little toddler voice while people gush about her to Clarke.

Even the ones without samples will give Madi samples 😅 her and her moms are such a staple at the market either buying or selling that the moment they see the two heads of dark curly hair they immediately get a little treat for her out. There's this homemade sweets stall that Lexa has taken to avoiding because they will fill her little girl with sugar via free samples (and Lexa herself tbh, she tries her best not to over indulge but always ends up with a bag of candy she bought and told Madi it was for Clarke but by the time they get back the bag if half empty). The market is small and once she's old enough Madi is allowed to go around it and buy something for herself as Lexa and Clarke finish packing their stuff. She usually comes back with a few things to eat and two flowers for her mommas 🥺

This is just so fucking cute, I cannot stop thinking about little Madi pushing her crate around their table as she grabs everything the clients ask for, carrying the money up to Clarke so she can give her change, going to Lexa with sleepy eyes "can I have a break mommy?" that Lexa always smiles and tells her of course, she can stop for the day even, so she just sits on the back of their truck with Fish and plays with her toys. Funnily enough, she usually ends up playing market with them 🥺

[beigehearts]

So I'm not sure if you're comfortable writing for these kinds of things so if you aren't then you can just ignore this.

You can write it with Hisoka, Chrollo, Illumi, one or all of them I don't mind (preferably Hisoka)

But I've got issues with eating, not a full out eating disorder (at least not that I know of, I haven't been to a doctor for it) but I find it intimidating to eat full meals, and I normally only eat a couple things daily. Maybe an apple here and an orange for later.

And because of that I've sworn off having kids until I can get it under control (its been 4 years and doesn't seem to get better, I just keep losing weight) last time I weighed myself I was 112 which is getting pretty close to underweight for my height and age.

So could you please do a trio (or individual) x fem reader where she's been bullied about her weight by her mom and peers and has a hard time eating, and because of that she doesn't want to get pregnant and risk having a baby born premature or extremely unhealthy, or die. But somehow she manages to get pregnant (maybe failed contraceptives) so Hisoka/Illumi/Chrollo tries helping her get better about eating. Setting timers and having thought out meals for the day that includes all the food groups needed.

I've always been told to eat more or that all I ever eat is junk food but I'm not fat, I'm not extremely skinny, I just wish there would've been somebody telling me that everything would be fine and help me through it. Nobody has yet though, everybodys first reaction to me saying I rarely eat is that I should eat more when I literally cannot force myself to do so.

I really do apologize for this being long, and if you don't write this I can always find somebody else.

No I completely understand! I’ve struggled with my eating in the past and I sympathize. I know that hearing “just eat” and what not doesn’t help and I know it’s hard- but all you can do is try your hardest to get better- the journey is just as important as the result I’m more than happy to do this request- I really appreciate it because I’ve been wanting to do something like this for a while. I tried to get this done asap because I feel like its important I really hope you like it!!

Alright let’s get started lads fem!reader CW: eating disorder, pregnancy

Illumi

It’s been days since you had your last meal. As his future wife and a future mother it has worried him sick. And at some points you wonder if he’s only concerned about the baby. You’ve been on birth control for months after having a long talk with Illumi that children would need to wait a bit until you have yourself under control. He’s been acting strangely, he’s been pacing which he has never done before, and snapping at his brothers, sister, and mother.

You sit on the balcony, a heavy rain pounding down, the awning above you barely protecting you. You look into the distance and rub your belly, as if trying to wish away the baby. It’s not that you don’t want children, you really do, and you also want to for Illumi’s sake. But it’s not time. You’re not ready. Your body is too frail and your hips cannot hold a child. The mere thought of something going wrong with your precious baby, is enough to make you sick. You’ve been brewing in bad thoughts for days since you found out- but this isn’t time to sulk...

Illumi opens the sliding door to the balcony, staring at you for a long while before sitting on the ground next to your chair. He grabs your hand on your belly and rubs it gently- with so much affection you feel like he’s a different person.

“Y/n.” He looks up at you with his big, dark eyes. “It’s scary.” He pauses, being unusually sensitive. “I can’t wait for the baby. But I need you right now.” He seems very out of his element, he’s not exactly the type to share his emotions. Though he can tell he needs to put himself aside for the well being of his future wife and future child. “We’re going to get through this together.” He nods to himself, and places his cheek on your hand, “You don’t have to do this alone. You have me now. I apologize that I have not been doing my best for you- but we’ll do it.”

He stands up, bringing you with him, pressing you against his chest. He holds your head against him, then pats your head gently. “We’ll set a schedule. We’ll eat together at every meal. I promise to be here now.” He begins playing with your hair and wraps an arm around your waist, “It’ll be just like training.”

You tilt your head up to him and frown at the training part.

He stutters and says, “No, it’ll be a process.” A sign of small smile makes it’s way onto his face, “Our baby will be just fine.”  

Illumi has never shown you such a sensitive side of him and you begin to wonder if he’s gone through this too. Either way, his comforting head pats and warm chest are enough for you in this moment.

Hisoka

Sometimes your boyfriend could be just so oblivious. He always cares and pays attention to you but sometimes things go over his head. He equates your morning sickness which is just dry heaving with being dehydrated. Though maybe telling him would just make it easier. You’ve been telling Hisoka that you want to get better. You’re tired of this burden on you constantly. Tired of food looking like poison. He’s done his best to help you. Though he’s somewhat lost in how to do so.

He loves you dearly and honestly how much he loves you sometimes scares you. You try not to think about what lengths he’s gone for you.

Hisoka is laying in bed, shuffling cards and twirling them on his finger.  He’s quite good with his hands. Quiet music plays from the radio- some new hip hop hit. He averts his eyes from his cards, to look at you. It’s been a month and it’s about time he knows why your belly has a small bulge- it not being from you eating better or more.

You spit it out- wasting no time and getting to the point. “I’m pregnant.” You close your eyes, as if scared he’s gonna lash out or break something. But none of that happens, it’s silence.

You peek one eye open to see him doe eyed, caught in head lights. The cards fall out of his hands. He clears his throat and fixes his face, “Come here baby.” You obey him and sit down next to him on the bed, he pulls you onto his lap and holds your face in his hands.

“I wish you told me sooner. I could have prepared.”

Eyes begin swelling in your eyes and he once again looks stunned. You burst into tears and hold onto his shirt, nuzzling your head into his neck. Through broken sobs you manage to say, “I’m no good as a mother. I can’t take care of it! I’m no good Hisoka- what if I kill it? I’m no good.” Sobs rack your body, leaving your trembling against his own body.

Hands grab your shoulders and he pushes you up, then wipes the tears from your face. “You’re perfect to hold a baby. What is it you’re worried about?”

You begin to hyperventilate after you have no more tears to cry. Through each breath you gasp out, “I’m... too... small... what if... I have a...” At the mere thought of your next words your heart begins pounding, “Miscarriage?” You let out one last sob of a word, “I can’t feed me and my baby...”

He shushes you and pushes some hair behind your ear, “Oh honey. You’ve been working so hard on getting better. You’re sick and that’s okay. We just have to work harder? Right?”

Nodding but you still can’t control your breathing, he says, “Come on take a deep breath.” Listening to his directions you do. “It’s gonna be alright. You’ll be a great mother. You work so hard. We just have to keep pushing.”

You nod, and collapse against his chest and whisper, “Is the baby going to be okay?”

“Yes, and so will you.”

Chrollo

Once the both of you found out you were pregnant, it was pure confusion. You were taking contraceptives and Chrollo knows how much you don’t want a baby right now. It was a long conversation you had when you got contraceptives. Despite wanting a child, he wanted nothing more than you to be happy and healthy. It’s been months, four months to be precise. You lost 3 pounds in that time no matter what you did. You just couldn’t make yourself eat and when you did you felt terrible, guilty.

It was mealtime, all though you haven’t eaten at mealtime in weeks, Chrollo keeps trying. He made a light salad, with tomatoes and olives, that’s all. He knows how the sight of big meals only discourages you.

He steps around the table with a small plate in his hand, and sets it in front of you. A small plate with a few bites of salad. It should be easy. But it’s not. He kisses your forehead and sits on the other side of the table. A candle is lit and a single rose is in a vase. He tries to make every meal seem like a feast but lacking the food. He has a normal size bowl full of salad and he smiles at you from across the table.

“Time to eat.” He takes a bite of his salad- not pressuring you in any way to eat. The plate itself is enough pressure. You pick up the fork like you’ve practiced so many times and stare at the green leaves beneath you. The fork picks up a single leaf and you bring it to your mouth, opening and hesitantly placing it inside. Chewing is almost the worst part- but the worst part is swallowing. You swallow the leaf and look up at Chrollo. You can tell he’s trying to mask his excitement as not to overwhelm you.

The most you manage is another six single leaves, and a single, half cut cherry tomato.

You look up to him once again, shame taking over you, “That’s all I can do...”

His eyes go wide and you wonder if he’s upset that you didn’t keep going. Instead he leaps out of his chair and around the table. He picks you up into his arms and spins you around while laughing. He gently places you back down on the floor and can’t contain his smile.

“Oh darling you’re doing so great. I’m so proud of you.” Tears being to prick at your eyes when hearing his words, “You’re so good, let’s try again tomorrow okay?”

He squeezes you tightly and shakes you side to side, “You’re just so wonderful. I’m so proud.” No one has ever said they’re proud of you besides him. It’s such a blissful sound to your ears.

[latte-fairytaekwoon]

𝑀𝑦 𝐺𝑖𝑟𝑙 𝑃𝑡.2 (𝑆𝑒𝑜𝑛𝑔ℎ𝑤𝑎×𝑅𝑒𝑎𝑑𝑒𝑟)

Part One/ Part Three / Part Four

Pairing: Badboy! Park Seonghwa (Ateez)/ Reader (Female)

Genre: Angst, Fluff, College Au.

Summary: Y/N has no idea what to make of the mysterious Park Seonghwa. Does he really like her or is he simply playing with her?

✿❯────「✿」───❮✿❯──「✿」────❮✿

Flipping the light switches off, Y/N typed in the security code into the pin pad before closing the door behind her, the faint beeping from inside letting her know that the alarm was functioning properly. She honestly wondered at times about if anyone would ever think about robbing a coffee shop. Granted it made a lot of money during certain seasons, but unless you actually work in one, you probably wouldn't think so. Yet it was surprising to know it could make as much money as any famous fast food restaurant. Well.....with those sky high prices, it made sense.

She stopped and checked to make sure she had everything in her bag, not wanting to risk having left her keys inside and find out until she reached her apartment. Satisfied by the confirmation, she began her walk home. If it had been fall or winter, she would have seriously considered taking a bus, even though it wasn't that far away. But it was summer and thankfully there was still an hour left before the sun finally set. She truly believed she was lucky to have found a place to live that was close not only to her workplace, but also her school, even if it was a tiny studio apartment. She felt proud to say it was hers.

Feeling something tug on her sneaker, she looked down and realized one of her shoes was untied. She bent down and began tying it up again, carelessly placing her bag right next to her on the street. She was so focused on her task in front of her, she failed to notice the looming figure in front of her.

"You know anybody could just whisk away your bag and run at this moment?"

She snapped her head back up and saw Seonghwa standing in front of her, an amused smile on his face. He bent down and picked up her bag, dusting off the dirt that had gotten on the bottom part of it in the process.

"Tsk. Tsk. And here I thought you were a more.... what's the word? Meticulous person."

Y/N gave him a questioning gaze before standing up, quickly grabbing her bag from him.

"Not even a thank you?" Seonghwa shook his head.

"What are you still doing here? I thought you went home." Y/N said, clearly confused as to why he'd be there still.

Seonghwa raised an eyebrow at her.

"I thought I told you back in the shop that I'd see you later?"

Y/N recalled the moment, it did seem weird to her that he'd say that.

"Well doll, it's later......and I wanted to see you." He explained, a slight smirk tugging on the corners of his lips.

Y/N let out a tiny scoff.

"Why?"

Seonghwa blinked at her response.

"I thought I made myself clear the other day Y/N. I like you."

Y/N blushed slightly at the memory of him confronting her back in school. She was hoping the shadow from the building in front of her casted enough to hide it from him.

"And I said there would be plenty of time to get to know each other.....well I'm free right now and obviously so are you. So why don't we get something to eat? My treat."

He grinned at her, obviously not expecting her to turn down his offer. Any other girl wouldn't say no to Seonghwa. But Y/N wasn't any girl, and she wasn't about to say yes to someone she hardly knew. Especially not when he acted so strange for her liking.

"No thank you."

She quickly responded and took a step to walk away from him, but his hand reached out and stopped her from moving any further.

"Why not?" He asked.

Y/N tried to think of an excuse, any quick excuse to get out of this.

"I'm not hungry." Was the best thing she could think of.

The loud grumbling of her stomach was a dead giveaway of her fat lie. After working 8 hours straight with only a bowl of cereal for breakfast and a muffin on her only break, of course she was borderline starving and needed something in her stomach before it began eating itself. Her hands clutched her stomach, hoping to silence the obnoxious noise, but ultimately just making it more obvious.

Seonghwa looked down at her figure and snorted softly.

"Seriously, I know a really good place here that sells burgers and shakes. Are you really going to say no to free food?"

At this point she could either tell him to fuck off and stomp away home, but ultimately she'd leave even more hungry and would still have to whip up something on the stove that would take approximately half an hour or more. Or she could accept his offer, but it'd mean interacting with him, not that it was necessarily a bad thing, but she honestly didn't know what to make of him. He's been straightforward with her all this time, but how was she to know he was being serious? For all she knew, he could just be playing with her. After all, isn't that what all bad boys are known for?

Guess there was only one way to find out.

✿❯────「✿」───❮✿❯──「✿」────❮✿

Y/N looked around at the 50's themed diner she was in:

Black and white tiled floor that was so clean it almost looked slippery. Cherry red leather seats, either in the form of booths, tables or chairs on the front white counter that stretched at least 40 feet. An array of old records hanged on the wall, whether or not you could actually play them on a record player or if they were just flimsy decorations would forever be a secret. An old juke box was stationed in one of the corners of the counter currently playing The Beatles, its color combination of yellow and blue not quite appealing to the eyes. And of course, a pinball machine was placed near the entrance for kids to waste their quarters on. They even had a light blue 1955 convertible Chevrolet Bel Air for people to go take pictures of or with. At this point it wouldn't have surprised Y/N if waitresses came out of the kitchen in roller skates and started singing songs from Grease or Hairspray.

It became an even more ironic thought when she saw Seonghwa walk back to her with their food. Dressed in a white shirt, distressed jeans, black combat boots and black leather jacket with his hair slicked back, he could almost be a modern day Danny Zuko and for some reason, that thought made her bust a tiny giggle.

"What's so funny?" Seonghwa asked as he sat the tray down in front of her.

"Oh....nothing." She was not about to get caught.

Seonghwa looked at her funny, but ultimately decided not to pry.

"Here you go."

He slipped her food in front of her: a burger the size of her two hands and a 32 ounce chocolate shake with whipped chocolate and a cherry on the top. A well sized platter with regular fries and curly fries made it obvious that they were going to share them. She didn't mind though, the portions were so big she doubted she'd even finish half of it.

She dug into the food, her stomach thanking her for finally putting something in her body. She was so hungry that she didn't care if she was eating like how she usually ate when she was at home, messy and slobbish. She was halfway through her burger, when she caught Seonghwa just staring at her. That's when she started to feel self conscious. She quickly swallowed what was currently in her mouth and grabbed a napkin to wipe the corners of her mouth.

Seonghwa giggled at her.

"Don't worry about it. It's pretty refreshing to see a girl not care about how she looks like when she eats, and to actually eat. You have no idea how many girls I've brought here who only get salads and nothing else."

He cringed slightly at past memories of awful dates that make him wanna kick himself for even thinking they were attractive. He blamed himself though. He tended to only look at pretty faces and end up regretting it when he found out they were all self-centered, shallow, and prissy girls that just made his blood boil.

"Maybe that's why I like you. You're different."

He didn't even realize he said that out loud until she whipped her head up at him. He was stunned that he accidentally let that slip, but he was able to play it off coolly.

"How......how can you..... we've never even..?" Y/N couldn't even completely form her question but Seonghwa knew what she was referring to.

Sighing softly, he began:

"Well I'm going to sound like a total creep now but that's inevitable. It was a few months back, when you had changed majors and had to be transferred to our class..."

Seonghwa ignored the usual reprimand of the professor, telling him he was late again. As if he didn't do it on purpose. He just hated this class. It was undoubtedly one of the most boring subjects one could possibly take. He began to stare off into space, not even bothering to listen to what was being said.

He looked around at the familiar faces he saw in class, the same people from last year. Until a head of (insert hair color) hair caught his eye. She was definitely not there before. Seonghwa tried to think if he had ever seen her around before, but couldn't quite remember.

Unknowingly, he found himself staring at her more and more each time they had class together. He found out she had a habit of tapping her pen against her cheek when she was trying to concentrate, she kept everything in her bag organized and hardly socialized with anybody.

One time he followed her to her locker, just to briefly see what was inside of it. You can always tell a lot about a person based on how they decorate their locker. But Seonghwa only saw a few pictures of what he assumed was her family, few friends and a lot of sticky notes with motivational quotes written on them in various sharpie colors, with either stars or diamonds as decorations.

That just peeked his curiosity even more in trying to decipher who the mysterious girl was, and his curiosity turned to fondness for the girl, so he had no choice but to admit that he was attracted to her and wanted to get close to her.

"Wait. Is that why you were staring at me in class the other day?" Y/N asked after he told her all that.

"Took you long enough to notice too. You were so oblivious to it that it was kinda funny." He chuckled.

Y/N looked back at that moment and realized she still had so many questions left.

"But then why did you look angry after I looked away?"

Seonghwa shifted his position, sitting up straighter so he could look at her.

"Why? Cause you looked at me with such a bitch face and even rolled your eyes at me. I was kinda angry and hurt that you did that given how I feel about you." He explained.

Y/N looked at him confused.

"I did not roll my eyes at you."

"Uh....yeah. You did. You looked at me as if I was a bug or something." He corrected her.

"Well..... I was tired and hungry! I'm not in control of my actions or emotions when I'm in that state." She tried defending herself, feeling somewhat embarrassed that she had no control over her facial expressions.

"Yeah, I've noticed. You weren't all that happy 25 minutes ago when I asked you out on this date." Now it was Seonghwa's turn to roll his eyes at her previous behavior.

"This....this isn't a date!" Y/N exclaimed.

Seonghwa raised an eyebrow and smiled.

"Oh no? Do enlighten me then. What is this?"

Y/N thought about it for a moment.

"We are just 2 individuals, having a meal together and conversing." She stated.

"Why are we conversing though?" Seonghwa continued to pry.

Y/N hummed.

"Because you said you wanted to get to know me better?"

Seonghwa smiled at that.

"Sounds to me like a date then."

Y/N mentally face palmed. She practically walked into that one herself. She sighed as she picked up one of the fries and dipped it into her milkshake before eating it.

"And now I've learnt one more thing about you: we have similar tastes in eating."

Y/N watched as he mirrored her actions and dipped his fries in his strawberry milkshake. Y/N decided to just finish eating as soon as possible so she could go home early. The sun was starting to set and she didn't like walking home in the dark, even if rarely any crime happened in this neighborhood. She was planning on not saying anything else, but then something popped in her mind that made her ask:

"Wait a minute! The day after the.....incident." She began.

"You mean when you were a total bitch?" Seonghwa teased.

"Haha, funny." She threw a fry at him, causing Seonghwa to laugh even harder.

She had to admit though, he had a cute laugh.

"Anyways, the day afterwards, I heard 2 girls talking in the bathroom about you. They said that you were pissed off at me-"

"I kinda was." He interrupted her again.

"Let me finish!" She cried out rather annoyed.

Seonghwa bit his lip as he stifled another laugh. He found it adorable when Y/N got agitated.

"They made it sound like you were going to beat me up. Something about 'giving it to me'" She held up her fingers in quoting signals.

Seonghwa furrowed his eyebrows in confusion, trying to decipher what she meant. Then it hit him.

"Oh! No. Trust me, I wasn't going to beat you up. As for 'giving it to you' "

He mimicked her quotation signs, causing Y/N to glare at him for teasing her again.

"I was referring to the notepad you dropped. Remember? I gave it back to you?"

Now she face palmed literally as she realized she hadn't thought about that. And here she thought she was dead meat for sure.

"Was that why you were avoiding me the rest of the week? You actually believed I was going to fight you?"

Y/N swirled her milkshake with her straw, unable to look at Seonghwa in the eyes anymore.

"Y/N? I'm talking to you. You really believed that?"

The authority in his voice made her look up at him, his expression showing offense and indignation at the thought that she actually believed him capable of such a thing.

"Why would you think that?" He continued his interrogation.

"Well..... I don't know! Ok? Maybe cause I've heard so many rumors about you. You don't exactly have the best of reputations at school. Everyone says how you're...."

Her voice trailed off, afraid to finish her sentence, afraid to offend or hurt him in anyway .

"That I'm a delinquent? A criminal?"

Y/N blinked when he said that, as if he could read her mind.

"I know what people say about me, I'm not blind nor deaf to their gossip." He stated, not at all unfazed by what he often heard.

"So does that mean none of it is true?" She couldn't help but want the answer to her question.

"Well depends. Have I gotten into a lot of fights with other guys? Yes. Do I have a temper at times that gets me in trouble? Yes. Have I fucked a bunch of girls just for fun? Definitely. Do I smoke or drink often? I'm not denying it."

Seonghwa reached into his pocket and took out his lighter, twirling it around in his hand a few times so Y/N could get a glance at it before putting it back in his pants.

"But have I ever vandalized, stolen or done anything remotely illegal? No. Have I beaten someone up for no good reason? No."

Y/N listened to his words very carefully. She was amazed how he was calmly telling her all of this.

"And I most certainly have never even thought about lifting a finger against a woman. Especially not one I'm interested in." He confessed abruptly, causing Y/N to gulp her drink a little fast, nearly making her choke.

"I'm sorry." She apologized.

Seonghwa chuckled softly.

"Don't be. I get why you'd be scared. I just wish you'd get to know the real me......"

He reached his hand out and lightly brushed his finger on the top of her knuckles.

"Kinda like how I want to know you..."

The physical contact sent a weird feeling down her body. It was chilly, yet warm at the same time. She wanted to reach out and lace her fingers in his, and she would have, until a high pitched voice interrupted them.

"Seonghwa! Is that you?!"

They looked over to see a purple haired boy waving his hand in the air, as if his loud voice didn't make his presence already known. A pink haired boy was standing next to him, looking embarrassed as his friend jumped up and down. Having had enough of that, he pulled the boy by his arm and ran over to Seonghwa and Y/N's table.

"Hi! What a coincidence to see you here! Why didn't you tell us you would be here? You could have joined Yeosang and I. He promised to take me out to eat." He pulled whom Y/N assumed to be Yeosang closer to him.

The purple haired boy spoke so loud and fast Y/N had a hard time understand what he was saying.

"Promised? I was threatened." Yeosang replied, causing the other boy to let out a loud laugh, making Y/N think of a hyena.

"Hyung, where are your manners? Aren't you going to introduce us to your girlfriend?"

Seonghwa blushed and cleared his throat. It was the first time Y/N saw him get flustered and it was definitely funny.

"Y/N isn't my girlfriend-"

"Oh really? Great! Cause she's cute."

The boy wasted no time and held his hand out to her.

"My name is Wooyoung, I'm single, Bi, and I have a driver's license." He winked at her.

"For a moped." Yeosang corrected him.

Wooyoung sent a glare towards his friend.

"Y/N, these are my friends: Wooyoung and Yeosang. They go to our school, but you've probably never seen them cause they're a grade below us."

Y/N nodded and waved awkwardly at them.

"Yeosang, Wooyoung, this is Y/N. She's not my girlfriend, but she's off limits. Ok?" Seonghwa made sure to lock eyes with Wooyoung, silently warning him not to step any further into his territory.

"So if she's not your girlfriend, does that mean she's a fuck bud-"

Yeosang stepped on Wooyoung's foot, causing him to bend over in pain. Yeosang however smiled sweetly as if nothing happened.

"Anyways, it was nice seeing you Hyung. We wouldn't want to take up more of your time. Besides, we'll be seeing you tomorrow at Hongjoong's party. Right?"

Seonghwa nodded.

"You know I never pass up an opportunity to party."

"Will you bring Y/N with you?" Wooyoung asked, hoping she'd come.

Seonghwa looked over to Y/N, who tried to think of an answer.

"Uh... no thanks. I wasn't invited so-"

"Who cares? No one needs an invitation these days. It's a frat party anyways, a bunch of strangers end up coming in the end." Wooyoung insisted.

"I'll....think about it." Y/N knew she wouldn't.

"Ok! I'll take it as a yes. I'll see you guys tomorrow."

Taking a hold of Yeosang's hand, Wooyoung made his way over to another table, the pink haired boy already looking exhausted at the thought of spending at least 2 more hours with his highly energetic friend.

Y/N smiled softly at them. They were definitely an odd pairing, but they seemed to compliment each other.

"It's getting late. Want me to take you home?" Seonghwa asked her.

"It's fine. I can walk. It's not that far." She refused.

"I insist. I want to make sure you get there safely." He insisted.

Y/N smirked at him.

"Are you really concerned for my safety or do you just wanna find out where I live?"

Seonghwa's mouth dropped at her insinuation.

"I don't..... ok you got me there."

She chuckled at his reaction, but ultimately got up.

"Ok. Fine. Take me home. The worst you can possibly do is murder me and throw my body in a lake."

Seonghwa shook his head and picked up his jacket. He made sure to hold the door open for her when they went out. Y/N didn't even notice he had stopped walking until she heard him whistle behind her. Turning around, she saw him standing next to a black Harley-Davidson motorcycle. She raised her hands and gestured him to explain.

"I told you I was taking you home."

He tapped the seat.

"So come on. Hop on doll."

He began taking out the spare helmet for her to put on. She walked back to him and placed her hands on her hips.

"You kept it parked here the entire time?" She asked him.

"Uh huh." He responded.

Her face was full of shock.

"Did you know that I would say yes to coming here with you?"

"Well not exactly 'knew'.......more like....hoped."

He winked at her before placing the helmet above her head, making sure to strap it tightly.

"Safety first."

After putting on his own helmet, he got on the motorcycle and waited for her to get on. She awkwardly threw her leg over the seat and hesitated to wrap her arms around him. Seonghwa huffed and simply grabbed her wrists to put them on his stomach.

As soon as he started revving up the motorcycle, Y/N tightened her grip around him. Even through his shirt, she could feel rock solid abs underneath it. It made her wonder what he looked like without a shirt. The thought temporarily distracted her from the worry of actually riding in a motorcycle for the first time.

Sensing her fear, Seonghwa grabbed one of her hands and gave it a light squeeze.

"Don't worry doll. I'll keep you safe."

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*part 3 coming soon*

[lilloserhereagain]

TW slf hate, slf hrm, fat shaming, and other junk...

Someone was actually proud of me.

Actually frigging proud of me.

And after driving home with a smile on my face the whole way, I locked myself in the bathroom and cried. Why? I dunno. Maybe because I've never been so... happy? with myself.

I feel like I could start crying again.

Do u know how long it's been since I last cried? I can't remember. Before I cvt myself, I would cry everyday, I even put a little mark in my calendars for the days when I did, and for forever, they lay in the right hand corner of each day box thing.

And now I cried.

Because I'm happy?

I almost told myself that that was dumb and that I don't deserve to even feel remotely content, but I shut those thoughts out.

I did so well. He gave me a high five. The band leader said I did really well... On all five of my new songs, he said I made Michael Jackson look bad. And I...

Gosh, I'm tearing up again.

And I didn't even tell mom. When I came home, I told my lil sis and my older sis already knew about it since she was at the practice, but still. I didn't feel the need to tell my mother. Isn't that insane? I know she wouldve been happy to hear about it (and of course she'd probably belittle me like she always does) but still I could've gotten some credit here. And yet I felt like I didn't need to!!

Its kind of like M is my father figure in my life ig. Not to sound sappy but Dad wouldn't care less about my life and mom just hates everything I do.

TW FAT SHAMING (weight stuff idk)

And that reminds me. You wouldn't believe what mom said to me while eating salad for lunch a couple days ago.

I eat suuuuuper slow so everyone had already left the table. (Well my sisters had left, dad never eats with us since he sticks in his office)(we eat lunch on school days at the house because we're homeschooled btw)

But for some weird reason mom decided to stick around. She was watching me eat (creepy, I know) and suddenly she said,

"Thank God you have never been fat."

And she said it so hatefully, so darkly toned, that I had to speak up. (I never talk at the table or much in family settings) (I'm weird, I know)

"What do you mean?" Because at this point I was absolutely confused.

At 5,2 112 llbs, I know I'm kind of small, but dude. Wtf mom?

"You've never been fat a day in your life."

And then she walked off.

Leaving me verrrrry confused.

First off, I know mom had lost a lot of weight lately. She still things she's heavy, and she's always been kind of (what's the word?) ... Spiteful. About me being the skinniest in the family. She also nitpicks everything about me. Hair, clothing, acne, food choices, tv choices,.... Everything else. But maybe this explains it?

Maybe she hates me because I'm naturally this way?

I would never say that she's jealous. Because I honestly think I could lose a little weight. I honestly wish people would just be happy the way they are, stay healthy, but still be able to chill. Yes impossible, ik.

What if she hates me?

I know she thinks I have an ed, as she's asked me if I eat enough over the past few years, especially lately. She's asked me several times if I've ever purged. And I don't have an ed I don't think. I think she might have her own kind though.

Idk it's just me ranting again. *Sigh*

What do u think? Does anyone read this far? Without skipping?

¯\(°_o)/¯

Whatever.

Have a good night!!

--Lil Loner

[pbandjesse]

Apologies for my posting So late. I just have had too much fun talking to my mom. What else is new.

I'm going to go to bed soon. But today has been a lovely day. Honestly I couldn't have asked for a better travel day, or a better trip so far.

It was still pretty hard to leave James. But they woke me up and gave me out goodbye. And then they went to work. And I slept until 9:30. I got up and I felt pretty good. I got dressed I picked up the apartment. And then I started making my trips down to the car to put the stuff from the wedding in there to take to store my parents. And I was ready to go by 10:15. Pretty proud of myself honestly.

When I got in the car though I put the GPS on and it said that there was closures on 95 and that the new route was the fastest and would take about 15 minutes more than normal. It's fine with me I wasn't in a rush. And so I headed to 83 like it wanted me to. And it took me the most bizarre way. I went 83 all the way up past camp to the Pennsylvania state line. I didn't have to go through Delaware at all. Instead it took me towards Harrisburg and then all the way to the Pennsylvania turnpike which I took all the way to my parents house. Honestly it was a super pleasant drive. I have no idea how much the toll is that I paid but beyond that it was great. No traffic interesting things to see. Lots of cows and sheep. Fun billboards. And it was basically going 80 the entire time. It was awesome.

I listen to two albums in a podcast. And I was having a blast. And I got to my parents around 1:00. I had a whole bunch of text messages to answer. Including ones from Jessica at work about different shifts this week. She wanted to know if I could do an outreach because someone else wasn't sure they were comfortable. But I really hate outreaches and so I declined and encouraged that the other person should be practicing since apparently they have asked to do more outreaches anyway. You're not always going to get to do them with another person so they really need to get over the fear of doing it alone. My fear is not a real fear mine is just anxiety. And I am perfectly capable of doing them I would just prefer not to and this person wants to do more. So Jessica was like that's cool and isn't going to make me do them.

That was really excited to see my parents. I came inside and I got settled and chilled on the couch with him for a long time. I didn't get to talk to my dad as much as I was hoping to but I spent a lot of time talking to my mom. We sat and talked for more than an hour and then I had to stop the conversation because I was so hungry. I had brought a couple cookies in the car with me but that it was all I had to eat so far. And so me and my mom drove over to saladworks. I drove us there and we sat and ate and talked about the wedding and I talked about the weird stuff that has been going on with family and work. And we talk about pictures and my feelings about stuff and our honeymoon coming up and all that. And it was just like a really lovely chat and meal. And I just love my mom very much.

We brought Dad a salad home. And We brought in the stuff from my car. We left it in the hallway and we would slowly start to bring it down later. I'll finish doing it in the morning. And then we all hung out on the couch. Watched a Netflix show. It's the watcher, which stresses me out a little bit. I don't know why but shows like I kind of give me anxiety. But I did like that I recognized a lot of the true cases that they were building this off of and so between episodes I got to fill my mom in on that kind of stuff. When Dad went to go change into pajamas I read Mom the entire Wikipedia article for John list and that crazy murder.

And before we start the next episode I grabbed my knitting and I worked on a few rows before Joanna texted me. She had texted me earlier in the day that she left work early because she wasn't feeling 100% and she was going to take a nap and then let me know about dinner. She didn't want to flake on me but I didn't want her to push herself too hard. But she would wake up and she had taken a Sudafed and felt well enough to chill with me for a little while. And I am so glad we did.

I had asked what she wanted to do for dinner and I didn't want to make her come all the way up here but she didn't want me to drive very far because I had driven all the way from Baltimore. And so we decided on friendly's for old times sake. And I told her to pick one and I would drive to it. The one she chose was in warminster and my GPS said it was only 17 minutes away. Dad argued that it was more like 40. But I pulled it up on the GPS and it seemed fine and we sniffed at each other for a few minutes but then I left. It turned out we were both right. It would be 40 minutes if I didn't take the turnpike but I did take the turnpike and it only cost me $2 so it wasn't the worst thing in the world. And I got there really quickly.

I did get there a few minutes before her which was fine. I chilled in the car and answered some texts and listen to music. And then she got there and I was so happy to see her.

And we were there for hours. We got there a couple minutes after 6:00 and we were there until 9:00. I left our waitress a very large tip because we were taking up the table space. And I don't know how I can keep reiterating this without feeling annoying to myself, but talking to her is like coming home. It's like taking a deep breath. And to talk to someone that knows you that deeply is so special. And I'm very lucky that my very intense relationships that I have with people can be beautiful like that even after years of being apart.

And that's really what this was. We were obviously like a little timid at first but I recognized myself so much in her and she recognized herself and me. When I was in college and I was very shy I told myself that people will like you more if you're more like Joanna. If you're bigger and brighter and more authentic with your personality, and more honest, people will love you. Because they loved her. And I think sometimes my "customer service Jesse" I put on at work or when I'm in the really good mood and very very comfortable, is just mirroring what Joanna used to be like. But at the same time Joanna says that she feels like throughout the last decade she's lost herself. And she's lost a lot of the socialization and she's been very isolated. And she sat her. But I hope us coming together can help fix that. It's going to take work. It takes a lot to maintain a relationship as an adult. Which is why I have so few friends but I think that this one is going to be worth it in the long run. I'm going to hold myself to that.

We just talked about everything. But each other about the wedding about life. I recognize that sometimes I talk about myself a lot. But it's not because I just want to talk about myself it's that I want you to tell me about you in return. But not everyone's comfortable doing that. So I told Joanna that I wanted her to tell me everything that she could about her life in the last couple years. I wanted her to give me a timeline. The last time we really seen each other was close to 2017, possibly 2018. And so she filled me in. About her jobs and an injury and her massive and impressive weight loss. Her surgeries and everything she's been through. The hardships and the things that she's found that she likes about herself and thinks that she's found that she doesn't. And some things that were really really sad and scary. And I realized how deeply she needs support. How much she came back into my life at the perfect time both for me and for her. And I really am so lucky that I know her still.

And it wasn't all intense. There were some silly stuff. Talking about how we were such mall kids and The culture that we grew up in and the way things were. We're like old ladies now. Talking about the good old days. But it wasn't even that. It was talking about how like we were very unsupervised. We were able to get away with so much. And how we both want to have kids and what that looks like. And how there isn't a rush but there still feels like there should be one and how the partners that we pick are not just our partners but they are future parents and how we view them and how a future adult will you their parents. And it was just like a beautiful conversation and I think we really got into some stuff that were very serious. And I wonder what the people around us were thinking because I'm sure they heard us. Honestly we probably would have sat there for the rest of the night if she wasn't tired and had a headache and honestly I think the restaurant was closing soon. We could have stayed there forever.

But I had to be the responsible adult and say that it was 9:00 p.m. and we needed to go. So I paid and we went to the parking lot and I showed her all my stickers on my car. And then we went home.

I got back here at 9:30, I texted her to let her know that I was safe. And then I got cleaned up. I washed my face and got changed and checked in with my dad. And he went to sleep and then I went down to the basement to hang out with Mom.

I found out the gray cat likes to drink from water bottles. And it was a bad decision, but I did share my water bottle with the cat and now my allergies are going crazy. But it was too funny to pass up. And then we just talked and talked and talked. I told her all about Tumblr stuff, and cold stuff, and Mom just lets me talk at her and I really enjoy it. She gets to hear basically every thought that I have. And I know, like I've been saying a lot lately, that I'm a lot. That I talk a lot and I talk too fast. But Mom says I'm entertaining. So at least I know I'm not boring her. And towards the end of the night while talking I told her about my experience a few weeks ago when I got a little out of hand. And I read her a couple text conversations and let her listen to a couple of audio notes where I was very ridiculous. And we were laughing and just having such a funny moment together. I'm really glad that I get these moments with my mom. These late night talks are very precious to me.

But we were both very worried that my post was not going up yet. And yes technically it is the next day but I have not gone to bed yet so it still counts. So I hope you all sleep good tonight. I'm hanging out with Jess tomorrow and we're going to paint pottery hopefully and it's going to be a good day. And then I'll go home and I get to see my James again. Sleep well everyone. Be careful out there.

[casspurrjoybell-33]

Wreckless - And It Feels So Good

*Warning Adult Content*

Finnegan

He pulls a bag of marinating chicken out of the fridge... Nice.

I hope I'm not making things too difficult by eating now but I haven't had anything since breakfast except for some pretzels on the plane.

He puts salad fixings and a big bowl on the table, along with a knife and cutting board and I go to town.

"Finnegan?"

It's so good to be able to breathe again although let's be real, I'm hoping I won't be able to fairly soon, one way or another.

"Yes?"

"Are you staying the night? What's your living situation? Still have your apartment?"

That's a tricky question.

Well the first one is easy, the second two are harder.

See, last time I came to Baltimore, I had weeks to prepare.

I packed boxes and had movers deliver them to my new extended-stay apartment.

Today I came with two suitcases.

"I'd like to stay the night."

I don't have anywhere to be until Monday morning even though I will have to get some work done tomorrow.

"I don't have an apartment yet, they don't have an opening. They rent weekly so I'll probably just grab a hotel until one opens up."

"Or," he says so sternly that I turn towards him... "you could just stay here. I don't care how late you're working, Finnegan. I want you here."

It sounds good, it does... Coming home to him every night?

How could I not want that? Waking up with him? Bliss.

"I'm, I'm afraid it'll be to much, that it'll be too much little me for you to deal with."

He walks over and grips my chin.

"Put the knife down. Finnegan...I like you. Honestly, you wanna know something?"

He releases me and steps back so that we can see each other easier.

"I think Finnegan is sexy as hell. You look good in a suit and your confidence is hot. I'm proud that my boyfriend is a kick-ass, successful businessman. But I actually like Finn better. He's fun, lots of fun. It's not like we don't talk when you're little, you're not using baby speech and throwing tantrums for fucks sake, you're just you. You're softer."

"No, I'm..."

"Don't, I'm being serious here. You're more relaxed. I spent the last month missing Finnegan... not wishing I had you around to do my taxes or something."

"I don't want to take over your kitchen table working or make you think you can't watch TV because I'm on the phone." 

I'm going to be insanely busy and I don't want to feel bad about it, either.

"I have a spare room and I know you're aware of that. Put a desk in there. Your excuses are shit, Finnegan. Do you want to stay with me or not? That's the question. If not, I'll get over it. It's not some ultimatum but damn boy, I'm serious about wanting you here. I've been worried sick about you for a month."

I feel bad about that, I do. 

Making him feel bad for another month isn't something I'm willing to do.

"We could try it, right? And if it doesn't work for either of us I could take an apartment when one opens up. I..."

Should I tell him?

"I was actually thinking about looking for a house since I'm staying. I hate the damn couches in those apartments. Maybe um, well I can put that on the back burner and we can sort it out later."

He slips the chicken into the oven.

It smells good already.

"Okay. I know you have a lot going on right now and I'm not trying to make things harder, darling. I know when to stop pushing and I'll take that win all the way to the bank.  I'm gonna get your suitcases out of the car. Keys?"

I pull them out of my pocket and hand them over.

I could get my bags but he wants to and I have lugged those things around enough today.

"Emmett?"

"Yeah?"

"Can I please get out of these fucking pants yet?"

I hate jeans.

People tend to assume suits are uncomfortable but my dress pants are much softer and more forgiving than these.

They do manage to make me look like I actually have a butt but they're not good for much else.

Emmett is walking around in a loose tank top and a pair of shorts that look like they've actually been through a war and here I am in denim.

It's not fair.

He's thinking awfully hard. 

Why is this such a big deal?

"Sure darling, yeah, go for it. I'll be right back."

He makes two trips, my suitcases are huge and both marked with 'heavy' tags, and takes them both upstairs.

Then I hear things.

There's still nine minutes left on the oven timer so I head upstairs.

He's in the spare room and is pulling things out of the closet.

"Emmett?"

"You need a closet. Maybe you can keep your work clothes here? I don't know how you want to organize things but I'm sure you need to unpack."

He glances around.

"We'll get you a desk. Anything else you need? I'll put some of this in the basement."

He grabs the huge army duffel bag from the bottom of the closet and hoists it over his shoulder.

"I don't want to upend your life, Emmett."

See? This is what I was worried about.

"Too late. You changed it the moment you turned on red and hit me and you completely screwed it up when you left last month. This is me putting it back together. Will Marten bother you?"

Ouch but it's true and it's true for me, too. 

We're both trying to get back to how we were before the fire. 

And Marten? 

He'll actually be good company. 

"No, no, he's fine."

"Alright.  Moving him would be hard but I can find a new home for anything in your way. I'll clear the bookshelf, too. I want you to be comfortable and have what you need, Finnegan."

I'm not gonna let him clear his whole room.

"One shelf is enough."

He's too sweet but I can't lie.

"Having a place to work will be really nice, thank you. I'll be in the office a ton but..."

"This way you can come home for dinner and then work on your projects and emails and whatever fancy shit vice-presidents do."

Fancy shit, that's me.

"Yeah, at least sometimes but rearranging your house can wait until after dinner."

"Okay, I'm gonna take this down and then I'll check on it. After you."