#but holy shit your santino

[devourcr]

there had been a time when santino represented his present. his future. in all of its entirety. he'd built the foundation for the vampire who'd ruled in paris, but only after he'd torn down the previous. it had been like fire spreading through him, burning, cleansing, leaving ash where a young vampire's soul had been. santino had introduced him to the dark, but in doing so, had taught him to find solace in it. he'd found solace in him, respect, admiration — love. and even now, centuries later, when he looked back on it, he understood. or so, he rationalized that he did.

the past is always bittersweet, always tainted with some acrid poison. his stomach twists in knots, an uncommon feeling for the vampire responsible for the lavish vampire haven around them. it's such a strange mixture of apprehension and longing. he'd wanted this reunion, despite how he could have so easily chosen the opposite route. one second was all that had separated him from approaching the elder to disappearing into the shadows yet again, leaving them still in a standoff, always aware of one another but never closing the distance. or would santino have eventually given him more than silence? in truth, he doesn't know. it's surreal to remember how much he'd known of him, only to see more of a mystery in front of him now.

even if it were possible that he knew he approached before he said anything, once the words leave his lips, there's no taking them back. there's no more pretending. now that he's closer still, his eyes drink him in, from the shape and cut of his clothing, to his chosen jewelry, and the way his hair falls behind him. he was a fearsome beauty, as he always had been. dark, daunting, powerful.

surely, he'd captivated the minds of many, particularly in his silence.

when he answers, the younger vampire feels some of the anxiety slip away, eased by the smile in his tone. oh, he's not forgotten, nor does it settle him entirely, but it gives him hope that it wasn't a poor choice to approach him. as he turns, his amber gaze lifts, settling over the familiar features of his face, eyes bright with observation, in revisiting memory. ❝ some might say the world is as close to 500 years ago as it has ever been. the styles have changed, the technology, but the heartbeat is familiar. ❞ he finds himself enthralled by the forward movement of the world, the rise of art and science weaving together, the humanistic perspectives that reminded him, at times, of venice before.

❝ would you walk with me? the beach is empty this time of night. ❞

there is a quiet around him always. thick and heavy. a protective blanket that he seeks solace inside. his thoughts are muffled there. bits and pieces of the past lay out naked and bared in front of him here. as if they are being pulled through him like a needle and thread stitching themselves through his skin, his soul, the very fabric of his being. yet never managed to. only suffocate. by not his hand but the hand of his companion. who refused to allow santino to sink into that solitude that so often ends creatures such as them.

perhaps he was close to his when he was found. perhaps not. he doesn't like to think of those few years before maharet's fledgling found him and began to bring him into the new era. into peace. or what semblance of peace creatures such as they are allowed. santino finds himself pulled towards the ocean many nights.

the presence of marius is a dangerous one. he knows that any step near him would be a teetering on an edge that both of them would have to walk. but they've spoken. they've talked. about the present and the past. there seems to be an understanding now. santino allows himself to hope for one. but he knows not to linger or hover near the other vampire for long. not to push his luck as they say now.

then there is ARMAND. armand who consumes his thoughts from the moment he wakes. armand that has him bound here. unable to gather the strength to approach him. yet equally unable to gather the willpower to leave. there are so many things he wants to say to him. to show him. to prove to him. and yet? there's nothing to show for all that want and need. just yet. perhaps soon.

though he's not given the luxury of breaking that distance on his own. it is hard to tell if the elder vampire notices the presence of armand. or if he truly was so lost in his reverie, hands clasped behind his back. silver-toned rings decorate his fingers. one with an intricately caved onyx pattern. gaelic in nature. thick, black hair hangs long on either side of his face. a thin braid down the left side has small pieces of beading and intricately laced silver wound into the strand. hand placed by his companion with the painstaking detail only a vampire's fingers could weave.

his chin tucks towards the collar of his black leather jacket upon hearing a voice that is as angelic as the tone he attempted to snuff centuries ago. santino's light curve of lips can be heard in his low voice. "as they do you as well, armand. it's as if you were made for this era above all others." he turns, catching sight of his former pupil. his former everything. "you shine beautifully here."

[hekateinhell]

i just think it would be neat if armand was a creepy little inhuman angel whose actions keep teetering dangerously close to falling but he toes the line and god watches him "seduce" brother de lioncourt like an owner making sure a dog doesn't jump up on the couch 😒 per the RULES

lestat "i know god intimately" de lioncourt vs. armand "I'll take you to god if youre good" no last name

santino and marius are there. bickering over the little brothers and how to lead them.

honestly losing my mind over this lmfao i've had a priest!lestat x angel!armand au in my drafts since 2022 and like i'm scared to look at it now but oh my god it's such a great trope????

ARMAND MY BELOVED HORRIFYING LITTLE ANGEL 🥹 look at him, he's perfect askjshs fucking yelling at god thisclose to being sick of his shit

one thing i really love to think about lestat from a religious angle is that in canon he never buys into it the way armand does but what he DOES buy into is the desire to "be good" like ever since he was a child! and thinking about who in a child's life decides what's good and what's bad? especially in the european 1700s, a lot of it was driven by the morals of the church regardless of how much you believed in it.

but not to get meta lmao bc i'm here for the religion kink tonight and i think there's SO MANY THINGS filthy "two inches away from falling out of heaven and onto that nine inch dick" angel armand can get lestat to do under the persuasion of "being good for god and taking care of his most precious angels" 🫢

filthy stuff, stuff right on the altar. perhaps even making lestat stuff himself on the altar. and that's just to begin with. there's so much you can do with crucifixes and the flagellation and deprivation rituals that holy men would practice "to get closer to god and armand"

it's really so horny, i can't stand it! 😭

[gw-arena]

Webcomic War of Woe: Night 4, Day 5, Night 5 and Day 6

Gene got injured while wrestling with a bear, Nurse Rapist once again beats up a werewolf, and Eric and Giancarlo have sex. Yes, seriously. Giancarlo is somehow turning all the straight men gay. What is even happening.

Zack is not getting a bit of sleep. I am starting to get worried. I think that penis rash might be something extremely serious. But enough of that, Lexx kills Luna. I guess after killing Daisy, Lexx's bloodlust wasn't satisfying enough. However he failed to realize Chel was good friends with Luna? Or maybe Lexx was just jealous?

Speaking of Chel, she and Kathy make up for their bloody chase earlier in the day, and speaking of continuity, Digit destroys all of Tina's memoirs. Holy shit this thing is a menace, but that teaches Tina for diverting her attention.

At this point Stropov and Spinny have fully lost it, but they have to surrender to the fact they'll always and forever be alone. Karastropov went mad from having sex and Spinny from lack of it. Meanwhile Peter kills Emulie with a sickle. I guess Peter played some dreamcast game with her and he lost too many times so Peter beat her to death, what a psychopathic child but also, what the hell did Emulie contribute to this war?

And Austin misses being vored by random animals coming to his house.

Gene's had enough of both Mora (who is still in this) and Stropov and murders both of them. I guess Karastropov got what she wanted. I guess Trace and Sethephoni will avenge their loved ones???

Tina in the meantime steals the Family of Intelligent Life suit from Catwhis and Kathy chases after Eric, finally learning that Eric is in fact a piece of shit slaveowner. Maybe Chel told her that?

Oh good, Darktraceplier is back at wanting to kill furries. Giancarlo sets up one of Santino's explosives and blows up Dominic in a disappointing display. Sethephoni keeps an eye on Spinny, and Zack is no longer sick. Also animals eat fruit. What a shocking revelation.

We're starting to pick up in terms of deaths, Luna, Emulie, Mora, Karastropov and Deegan are gone. But all of their factions are still in the game except for Team Kit n Kay. In order to speed up the process, we will have next night and day as a bonus!

Two stupid self-caused deaths happen, Digit kills herself because she is sick of being stalked by Tina, and Kevin fails to remember that going out of bounds in a video game often leads to falling to your death. Well, no big loss. Kevin did absolutely nothing. That means Team Console Girl is also history.

In the meantime, Gene Catlow destroys all of Blackbird's beer as he continues to snap, and...oh so that's why Trace was hunting down Austin, so they could...uh, fuck. I guess fucking Austin is the closest thing to fucking Flora? Why am I even asking that question?

Eddie and Santino continue sending shit, while the oldest and youngest fighters in the battle simultaneously become desperate, and Lexx is doing another thing that is very much incharacter for him.

Gregory and Zack argue about whether or not homosexuality is gay. And I do not know if the fire Catwhis sees is an actual fire, fiery lovemaking between Trace and Austin, or fiery argument between Zack and Gregory, but whatever it is she is staying out of it. Meanwhile Chel wrestles and defeats a fucking bear. Holy shit. Then again, that bear has been extremely pathetic for this whole war.

Onto Day 6

And immediately after having sex, Austin injures himself and Trace dies of starvation. Poor thing. Maybe Austin offered that Trace could eat him during sex and Trace was like "ew"? He was just trying to save your life!

Blackbird is back to doing fishing in werewolf form while Spinny builds a house out of silk. That won't survive the rain.

Oh yeah I will address the elephant in the room, Gene got murdered by a child. Peter claims yet another victim. What even is Peter's superform? Adult Peter? Did he use his super social skills to become friends with Gene and then he backstabbed him as soon as he turned? That...is oddly true to life.

Chel and Catwhis go hunting, the bear continues to be a joke, and TINA KILLS ERIC HOLY SHIT. I know Tina is a fucking cunt but I think she was appalled after learning that human is owning her kind as slaves and chopped his head off. Horrible person kills an even more horrible person? Now where have we seen this before? Still, the most satisfying death in this round since Riley.

Sadly, Zack is not dead and is about to have sex with some flowers, and Nurse Rapist has found another stalking target. Of course it's the boy who is sexually confused.

Digit, Kevin, Gene Catlow, Trace and Eric can be added to the death pile, which means Team Console Girl, Team TwoKinds and Team Las Lindas can be added to the fallen teams pile. It's kinda crazy to think Team TwoKinds was dominating the beginning half of this war and now they're just...gone. Trace died because he refused to eat his lover, and Eric died because of a xenophobic old woman. What a pathetic end.

Catwhisker, Spinnerette, Blackbird, Kathy, Tina, Chel, Lexx, Austin, Once-In-Arc Bear, Giancarlo, Peter, Persephoni, Zack and Nurse Rapist are left. There's surprisingly even gender ratio here, but just who will win? And who will die next? And how? TOO BAD FIND OUT TOMORROW

[lioncunt]

what are your opinions on the different lestats? and louiss? claudias and armands?

tomstat: a fantastic lestat, did his homework, very fun very angry gave validation to everyone who thinks lestat is lying about his height. flamboyant and cruel and charming he captured it all very well. writing wise anne just didn’t incorporate anything from the other books so he was pretty shallow.

musicalstat: BORINGGGGFF anne tried to make him woe is me i did nothing wrong SHUT UUUUUUUP. i loved his storyline with nicki in this one even though it was less insane and complex and him and gabrielle had great moments but god he was so boring. hugh panera or whatever did a garbage job

qotdstat: still haven’t watched it but i hate him on principal

samstat: my bestest friend sam reid who lives in my hippocampus and we compare tvl annotations teehee. my little science experiment i love to poke him with a stick. yeah of course he’s the best lestat no comparison he’s possessed <3 and best written as well! even if he doesn’t reference macbeth </3

rat piss: the worst louis i’ve ever seen i hope he drowns in a puddle of his namesake! writing wise he’s meh i think cher would’ve done a much better job with the script

musicallouis: he’s such a cutie he just wants things to be chill…..plus he actually was visibly in love with lestat awwww embraaace it embraaaaace it. he should’ve been in it more as is the case with every iteration of louis since the dawn of time

jacoblouis: RAGGHHGGF RHFNENWK. my girlfriend my munchkin tootsiekins,,,,,,,my beauty my angel. best written best acted emmy tony grammy oscar olivier golden globe. i once had a dream i was married to jacob anderson

kirstenclaudia: LITTLE BABY she’s just a little baby she didn’t do anything that’s a baby. the cutest lil babe. they captured her so well in the movie i love her sooooo much

musicalclaudia: SO FUN her song is my favorite song in the show I WANT MORE I WANT MOOORE like yes and you should have more!! have whatever u want !!!!!! also should’ve been in it more she was great

baileyclaudia: MY LITTLE GIRL MY DAUGHTER she’s my actual child like actually. best claudia of course she’s amazing and beautiful and so talented <3 as will be delainey my other daughter <3 but yeah i love bailey’s claudia so much that when the news broke she wasn’t coming back i cried in real life and it wasn’t tearing up either!

banderasmand: meh. i love antonio banderas but he was Meh and i stand by that. i think by changing armand SO drastically you just kind of. lose the whole character. anyway he was a perfect santino!

drewmand: SO GOOD SO SO SO GOOD HOLY SHIT HES SUCH A GOOD ARMAND. even though he has super long straight hair in it i forgive him cause he has the voice of an angel

qotdmand: hate him on principle etc see above

assadmand: the real life armand the armand of my dreams and as a rashidmand truther from day one . and day one being WHEN HE WAS CAST. i knew i knew in my soul he was secretly armand i took one look at assad’s headshot and i said that is armand. and i was RIGHT. anyway he’s barely been in it but i know he’s the best <3

[the-darklings]

Hello hello i hope you're having a great day! I just finished reading COA yesterday (read it in Ao3 and binged it for 3 days straight), i figured i would finally read them since i was busy when it first came out, and while waiting for tibyim finale. And holy shit it's amazing literally the best fanfiction I've ever read and the longest thing I've read since middle school (attention span got fucked up when i got older). The way you weave your OCs/ reader inserts in stories is absolutely amazing, so amazing in fact i keep forgetting they're not canon. Everytime I would read a chapter, either coa or tibyim, i get motivated to write myself, in fact I have written multiple chapters of my own story because your writing had inspired/ motivated me so much. So thank you do much for sharing your wonderful works with us. Can't wait for the continuation of coa ( no pressure! I will literally wait for however long it takes) and the finale for tibyim. And if you're gonna post your original stories here I will definitely be reading it. Again thank you so much, you have definitely rekindled my love for reading.

Ps: you made me love Santino even though i couldn't care less about him in the movies. You just have that way of making me love characters throughout the story (ie: hector, step and cori too lmao) s/v forever and wanderer/ dream endgame.

Sorry this was so long, i just realized this is like a love letter lmaoo

-🥭

It’s been so fascinating seeing the crossover of some tibyim readers going back to coa. I really appreciate it. In all honesty coa could def use an edit to tighten it up (younger me loooooved to over-describe!!! everything!!! and my writing style is already descriptive) but I love coa lots and don’t worry it’s not cancelled or anything. She’s just taking a nap while I work on other things.

But have I got great news for you!!! You know how you said you love coa OCs? Well guess what that original novel I keep mentioning is about? This entire collab universe im making with a friend? : )

V? Why she’s going to be her own person, with her own arc and agency. Hector, Step, Lucien, Julian, Dario? All going to be major characters working as a team with V, or Clara now. You know how Marvel was too cowardly to give us that 2012 Avengers All Live Together And Are Friends And Do Domestic ThingsTM story we deserved? Well, I’m giving it to you. Do you love deep friendships/relationships? It got that. Do you love a torturously slow burn with heavy doze of sexual tension? It got that. Do you love a dark academia inspired setting, a mystery, power games, and a cast centred around ‘antagonists’? That’s the first novel. Do you enjoy a diverse group of misfits with their own demons all banding together for a heist/rescue/revenge mission? Good old found family and healing? Lovers to enemies? Why that’s the second novel : )

[wherethefuckisthatjigsawpiece]

Domestic Argument

[toomanystoriessolittletime]

Out of retirement?

Summary: Some would say they were a couple five years ago. The Boogeyman and the wandering spider. A deathly duo. When John retired, he also left Charlotte behind. Now, being retired herself, she’s finally happy. Until she gets a message from him five years later, that made her question how happy she really was.

Words: 2.883

Pairing: John Wick / OFC

A/N: Just some smut for you Sunday afternoon 🤷🏻‍♀️

Continental hotel Paris, 8 pm, room 786, JW

She used to receive texts like these from this number on a regular basis. Whenever he was in the same town as her. It was nice that he put his initials in the message. It’s not like she had memorized the number. But it stopped a little over five years ago. She didn’t even know he was still alive. They had met on a job. Both of them booked to take out the same target. She had made the decision to give him the kill pretty fast but negotiated for other sort of payment with him. John Wick. A man you don’t want to have as an enemy. They had been flirting the whole night. And when he had come to her room after the kill, full of adrenaline. It had been a night, she would never forget.

She couldn’t help the tingle of excitement that ran all over her body after receiving the text. She had no idea how he knew that she was in Paris. Or how he got her new number. Or why he would contact her now after all these years. She knew he got married, got out, lived a happy life. He always wanted to get out. She also knew his wife died not long ago.

She had been pretty upset when he just vanished from her. A little part of her hoped that they could be more. She had seen a side of him in all the years, she grew to love. How he would search for her hand when he slept next to her, how he always remembered that she was allergic to garlic when they got out to eat, how he loved to watch the stars.

Yeah, she got it really bad for John Wick. She should be pissed at him for expecting her to be back like nothing happened. But who was she kidding. She would go. Even after more than five years without any form of contact.

It was 7:50 pm when she walked to the door of the continental hotel in Paris. It felt like stepping into a museum. Luxurious golden ornaments were all over the walls. It reminded her of Versailles.

„Miss Frost.“ She heard a smooth voice next to her. She turned around to come to face with a pale, bald man, the manager of the Parisian hotel.

„Jacque.“ She nodded him in greeting.

„What brings you to our fine hotel. Business?“ He asked, walking next to her.

„Oh no. I‘m out for good. You should try it. Best three years of my life. Your cuisine is just so addictive.“ she winked at him. He laughed lowly.

„Nice of you to lie to this old man.“ They came to stand in front of the elevator. He pressed the button.

„Be careful up there. He‘s close to breaking the rules.“ Jacque whispered as the doors opened.

She stepped into the elevator, turning around to face him.

„I’m always careful, Jacque.“ she said, as the door closed.

She looked at herself in the fully mirrored elevator. She put a little more effort into her look today. Her dark hair in loose waves went almost to her hips. She needed a haircut badly. She only applied a little make up. Some mascara and eyeliner. And the blood red lips she knew he liked. The grey knee high wrap dress shimmered silver when she moved, hugging her curves tightly. She wore 6 inch silver heels, she always felt confident in high heels. And she would need all the confidence she could get. She didn’t just want to jump back into his arms. She wanted answers. She had no idea what he wanted anyway. But a little part of her hoped he would peel her out of the black bra and garter belt she wore underneath by the end of the night.

She breathed a couple times before she knocked on the door of room 786. She wondered if there was a reason he had chosen this room, or if it was just coincidence. They had talked about fantasies they had back in the day, but she was sure he didn’t remember. Not after all this time.

The door opened after only a few seconds and she tried not to react on seeing him again. She couldn’t help the gasp though. He was bare feet, his dark grey dress shirt still tucked into his suit pants, the tie open around his neck. The face she grew to love still the same. Apart from the healing cut on his nose. And some tiny wrinkles around his eyes. His Black hair slicked back.

“Hi Charlotte.” He said and she finally looked into his eyes. His dark eyes, that seemed darker as she remembered. She also remembered the look she could read in his face.

A shiver ran over her body.

“John.” She tilted her head in greeting and walked past him into his room. She heard the door closing behind her, as she walked right to the back of the room that was a window front from ground to the ceiling, overlooking Paris. The sun would start to go down shortly, giving her the best view in the whole city over the sunset. Sighing sh put her purse on the couch next to her.

“You’re back?” She asked. John was standing with his back to the door, he had just closed behind her, only watching her. He felt the relief wasting over him on her actually coming to him.

“I’m not.” He answered, still not moving. Watching her.

“So you’re not breaking the rules?”

“Not yet.”

She turned around to face him. He could see in her blue eyes that she didn’t believe a word he said. She was even more beautiful than he remembered.

“What happened John?” She finally asked. Searching his face for an answer. She could feel his desperation across the room.

“Santino made me fulfill his marker. He wanted me to kill his sister” He began.

“You killed Gianna?” She asked with big eyes.

“I had no choice.” He almost whispered. They stared at each other in silence.

“How much?” She asked after a while.

“7 million.” He answered.

“Jesus Christ Jonathan.” Her Hand rubbed her forehead.

Finally he straightened and walked over to where she was standing. Sometimes he had asked himself if his life would have turned out differently if he had admitted to his feelings for her. Maybe they would both be living together on some abandoned beach. Making love to each other every day.

“I wanted to see you one last time.” He admitted as he was standing in front of her. She looked up at him. Even with the heels she was wearing he still was taller than her. His aftershave made her sigh quietly.

“What are you planing?” She asked.

“Killing him. At all costs.”

She closed her eyes and breathed in deep, inhaling his scent. She let her head fall with her forehead against his shoulder. She shook her head a little.

“Why here?” She asked.

He leant down, so he could whisper right into her ear.

“I remember you talking about what you want me to do to you in this room.” He whispered. His breath caressed her skin. Goosebumps came over her whole body. She swallowed.

“What makes you think you could just continue where we stopped five years ago?” Her voice was shaking. She felt his fingers on her back, drawing tiny circles. His lips connected with the skin on her neck, and she shakily breathed out.

“You’re here, aren’t you?” She felt his tongue come out between his lips on her neck, drawing a line up to her ear. Her hand grabbed his shoulder to steady her. What was it about this man, that could make her forget everything? Damn him.

“Why now?” His lips closed around her earlobe, his teeth nibbling on it, making her moan.

“I missed you.” He simply said. She closed her eyes, before she grabbed him at the loose ends of his tie, making him look at her.

“I missed you too.” She admitted before she pulled him at his tie down to her, to kiss him. They both moaned when they felt each other’s lips, their tongues caressing each other’s. John pulled her to him, both of his hands on her waist, as she was still holding him close to her by his tie.

When they parted she saw the look in his eyes. She couldn’t help biting her lip as she looked up at him. She felt his hands on the knot of her dress, slowly pulling at it, until it opened. He slowly reached with his hands to her shoulders, pushing her dress from her shoulders until it fell to the ground.

The black lace bra she was wearing covered almost nothing. She was glad she chose the garter belt and stockings, when she saw his eyes as he looked at her.

He made her walk backwards until her back was flush against the window. The cold making her hiss.

“What was it you said?” He asked her, as he opened the buttons on his sleeves, taking out his cufflinks.

“You want to be fucked hard while looking over the skyline of Paris? Do I remember that correctly?” His hands both cupped her beasts, his thump pinching her already hard nipples. She already had a hard time breathing and she could feel herself dripping down her thighs. John got in his knees in front of her, pulling one of her legs over his shoulder. He was still fully dressed.

“No panties?” He let one of his finger slip through her folds. “You’re dripping already Char.” He said, looking up at her as he leant closer to her, his mouth devouring through her folds.

“Fuck John.” She moaned loudly, both of her hands grabbing his hair. She could feel his tongue on her clit, one hand at her ass, his fingers teasing through her folds.

“Oh my god.” She moaned, as two of his fingers entered her while he was sucking on her clit, he hadn’t even started and she was close already. He hummed around her clit, his fingers finding the spot nobody had even been close to finding in the last 5 years.

Her head fell back against the window, one of her hands coming up to massage her breast.

She didn’t care that everyone on the street who looked closely could see them. She didn’t care that she would most likely never see him again. All she cared about was this moment. When she felt his teeth on her clit she came. Hard. “Holy shit.” She whimpered, her hips shaking, her hand in Johns hair pulling him to her. The smirk he had on his face as she finally looked at him, made her chuckle. He carefully set her leg down on the ground, she was thankful her whole weight was leaning against the window, and pushed himself off the ground to kiss her. He rolled his hips against hers, making her whimper as she felt his cock.

“Take your bra off and turn around. Heels stay on.” He said, giving her no room for any argument. Not that she would have one. Slowly she opened her bra, letting it slide down the floor, without taking her eyes off of him. She could hear him growling as she turned around to face the city. The sun must have starting going down a while ago, diving everything in orange. She could see the Eiffel tower and Notre Dame. As much as she hated this city, it was beautiful. She looked down to the pavement, 7 floors down and wondered if the people walking there would be able to see what exactly was going on above her heads.

She felt Johns chest on her back, his arms coming around her waist, as he pushed his body close against hers. His head rested on her right shoulder, his view following the direction she was looking at. His cock rubbed over her ass.

“Do you think someone could see?” She asked. One of his hands ran up to her breast, teasing her nipple.

“Do you care?” He asked back, kissing her neck.

“Mmhhh.” Was all she could answer. John grabbed both of her hands, bringing them up the window above her, as he pushed her body to the window. When the skin of her upper body collided with the cold glass of the window, she moaned. John wasted no time and pushed himself into her in one long motion. They both moaned when he settled fully inside of her. How she had missed the feeling of him inside of her. John breathed hard. She wiggled her hips, and he got the hint and started to move. His hands were still on hers on the window as he drove himself in and out of her.

Every movement pushing her deeper in the window.

“Do you enjoy it?” He asked close to her ear.

“Being fucked for the whole world to see. If anyone saw us we could end up arrested.” He thrusted hard into her, making her moan his name.

“Wouldn’t that be a story? The boogeyman and the wandering spider. Being arrested for having sex against a window.” She whimpered as he thrusted harder. He chuckled behind her, one of his hands moving between her legs, circling her clit. She desperately searched for something to hold on to, as she felt her orgasm approaching. Johns other hand came around her waist, holding her steady as he fastened his movements, never stoping his hands on her clit.

“I got you.” He bit into her neck and she let go. Pushing her hands against the window trying to keep herself on her feet as she felt her whole body shaking, as she came. “Fuck, Jonathan.” She cursed, breathing hard. His grip held her steady against him as he continued to fuck her, his movements soon getting sloppy until he bit into her shoulder, and spilled inside of her. She shuddered and almost came again as he felt him spill into her.

They were both breathing hard and Charlotte was glad for his arms around her, she really didn’t trust her own feet to hold her. She tilt her head to the side, finding Johns lips, kissing him deeply.

She groaned as she felt him slip out of her, his seed running down her legs. John picked her up and sat her down on his lap on the couch in front of the window. It was almost dark by now. He found a blanket next to him and covered both their bodies with it. Charlottes head rested on Johns shoulder, as she watched him looking out of the window. He looked so peaceful and happy in this moment. She couldn’t bare the thought of never seeing him again.

“Stay two days. Don’t leave the hotel. Just... Spent two days. In Paris. With me.” She whispered against his chest. His arms around her tightened.

“Anything you want, Char.”

As she walked out of the hotel in the early morning hours of the next day, she needed new clothes, the information she called for as John was under the shower, was waiting for her at the front desk.

He’s at a private tour at the louvre. Security cameras will be out for exactly 5 minutes at 4:27 am

The note said. She looked at the clock. 97 minutes. That would be just enough time time for her to come out of retirement.

John woke up to the ringing of his phone. He carefully sat up, trying not to disturb Charlotte beside him only to find the place beside him empty. He reached for his phone.

“Jonathan.” Winston was way to cheerful.

“Winston.”

“Have you heard the news?” Winston asked.

John rubbed his eyes, as he stood from the bed.

“What news?”

“Of the wandering Spider being out of retirement? She killed Santino.” John heard the door of his hotel room opening. Charlotte closed the door behind her, waving the bag full of breakfast to John as she walked by him.

“She did?” John asked Winston.

“Must have been quite the spectacle. I wonder how she sneaked into the Louvre.”

“You and me both. Thank you Winston.”

“You’re welcome John. Give my greetings to our sweet Charlotte. She needs to tell me how she did it, the next time she visits.”

“I will. Goodbye Winston.” John ended the call and focused on Charlotte who seemed awfully busy preparing the selection of breakfast she had brought with her.

“Anything up?” She asked, sitting down on a chair at the table, eating a whole strawberry, before she looked at John.

“Just Winston.” He said tossing his phone on the bed. Charlotte became suddenly very aware of the fact that John was only wearing his boxershorts as he made his way over to her. He would know by now what she did. What she did so he could rest.

John knelt beside her, taking her hand into his. His other hand brushing her cheek before he kissed her.

“I love you Charlotte Frost.” He whispered against her lips, as a tear of relief ran down his cheek.

[noythe]

Burial

First of all, HO BOY. I didn’t know I was capable of writing anymore. Mental Health is so damn important if you want to create. Don’t let anyone tell you something different. Second. This is literally a fanfic to a fanfic. Cause I am dumb. Or in love with the setting. And my mind drifted of during work and I just had to write it down. My writing is FAR from as good as the goddess @the-darklings​ , so this entire thing feels more like me. But I had to write it down. In one go. Cause we die like men. Ehem. Yeah. This a little OS to the Children of Ares fanfiction, playing the Universe of John Wick. Check the original out and take your time for that. It’s worth it. Every word of it. Warnings: Angst? Blood, Violence. The bad stuff, you know.

Words: 3428 ( HOLY SHIT. IT’S BEEN SO LONG THAT I WROTE MORE THAN 5!!! Words AT ONCE)

What do you want from me? Why don't you run from me?

Dirty streets and abandoned buildungs, the scent of grilled chicken and some pastry in the air.

It wasn't vacation. And most importantly it wasn't safe.

The place you were heading to was not the Continental. It would take days to reach it. Even if you knew that Santino wouldn't be far. Rather under the protective wing of the Camorra, like he always insists worldess and yet you never gave in.

What are you wondering?

No, your goal was different and much less known. An old abandoned hospital somewhere in the italian lands, far off from anyone who could know your name or face. Besides those who were living inside.

A few you had saved – somehow – and others.. were spies, dealing.. Whatever you requiered at that moment. Loyalty was a rare thing, but it could be found in the darkest places.

What do you know?

You took easy steps, a simple coat and set of clothes, bulletproof anyway. Afterall you still were searched for. And you needed time to breathe. Time to fix this. Time to keep Santino and John out of this. At this rate you were pretty sure both would take a bullet for you – which was the least thing you liked. An old set of headphones was helping to make you look like a harmless stranger, a beanie on top of your head and a belt with more options to kill an army than some could imagine. There was no room for a gun, neither for the full inventory of poison. But it would work in case it was requiered.

With a heavy thud your boots came to an halt in front of the ruin. A few dim lights were burning in the cracked windows and you frowned, dusk was just aproaching with eagerness, some street lights were flaring with a buzz as they tried to lighten up the main street around the corner.

Perhaps you could just stay here for a few days, maybe weeks. Recover, think. Be for yourself without any pressure. Without the presence of anyone who clouded your mind over and over again. It was hard enough. And no one seemed yet to understand what their words meant. Either crushing you down with their weight or lifting to you heights you never thought you could reach.

The steps on the stairs were well taken care off, yet the sound of rotten wood or dust was heavy in the air. The building was huge but not as haunting like your first visit. You had been on the run then and somehow you were on the run once more. But times had changed, You had changed. Now you were known, feared and hunted.

Vipress.

Even with all your training and experience, you were glad to have reached one of the upper floors and give your legs a rest. The room you stopped in was locked, only your key was fitting.

A soft click and the security door opened, giving way for a rather comfortable but simple room. A bed, a safe, chair and table. The most necessary things that sometimes felt like you had no right to own them.

Why aren't you scared of me? Why do you care for me?

Shrugging of your coat you walk over to the window, absently playing with the ring under your short, pulling at the chain now and then.

Somehow those two idiots didn't ever leave your side, did they?

It was dark outside, the street seemed empty for now. Rats you surely would find, looking for food or rotten bodies.. But there was none.

With a frown you decide to let go of the ring and leaned your forehead at the cold glass, the sight in front of you getting dark as your forced your eyes to close.

A even heartbeat was unable to help you calm down.

Perhaps some sleep would do.

The mattress wasn't comfortable. The blanket cold and dusty. But for today it had to do. Tomorrow you might be able to see a few of the Stray's how you remembered to call them. You needed information, tools. A plan. But now.. Now you just wanted to have some good rest. Perhaps with nightmares, perhaps with the pain of the past. You had too much going on. Too much that needed to be solved to save your skin. You couldn't just shed it as some assumed. But you could bite. And you always clawed yourself a way out.

When we all fall asleep...,

It was rather restless sleep. You barely could remember some good old rest, without waking up sweaty and hitching breath. Sometimes it was too much. Unlike today. You were scared, worried. Perhaps overwhelmed with emotion. That was something you simply had no time for. They still tried to kill you.

You stared up to the ceiling of the room, pretending to see a map to follow. Where to go next.

Thoughts came and left, now and then a few steps echoed through the hallway but never someone stepped at your door. A small little haven.. even if just for this while. A saddening thought.. Your aching muscles were asking for attention anyway and you started to think about something else. Wounds. Medical help. Rubbing your shoulder you flinched at the still sore spot and gritted your teeth. With your lifestyle it might take a few centuries to ever fully heal. It had been good for a while..

„Okay brain. What about some sleep, huh?“, talking to yourself wasn't that rare. Keeping a cool head, focus. Count. That much for relaxing.

Pulling one of your throwing knives out of the belt hanging on the bedframe, you start to turn it around in your hand, over and over again, watching the reflection whenever it got hit by ray of light. Ever so restless.. Hours passed but at least you finally fell into a light but recovering slumber. Something you deserved. Like peace. Or that piece of cake you had seen three weeks ago.

...where do we go?

A hissing noise errupted your sleep. Sitting up on the bed in a breath your mind worked slower than you needed right now.

Your skin felt odd, your ears like they were stuffed. What in hell..

It was your instinct that made you roll to face the wall and cover your head, curled up like a child as the first wave of heat hit. You heard the shattering sound of glass, the rubbish from tiles and walls hitting the ground. Something sounded like it was breaking.

Get up. Get up.

You rolled down the bed, going for your belt to strap it back in place, but you were too late.

You didn't even manage to grab your stuff, just went for the door and ran for your life. Jumping out of the window? No option. You would most likely break every bone in your body. Chances of survival far too low.

More stuff was blowing up in the distance. More and more. The time between each explosion always about the same time. This.. this had been planned. Just your hell bit of luck? No. You didn't believe that anymore.

Today, I'm thinkin' about the things that are deadly.

It was impossible to walk in a straight line. Whenever you thought you reached a hallway that lead to the emergency exit – it was either burning or broken. Or both.

People were running, people were screaming.

You couldn't even pinpoit the location of the next explosion. They seemed random but effective. The entire building was shaking. And the flying parts set rooms on fire. This was just a low hideout.. That made no sense.

Run.. Get to lower ground. If you made it down two or three levels.. You could risk to jump out of the next best window if there wasn't another chance.

Run. Run! Too bad you had no use for the layout of this place anymore. Dead-End. Shit. Turning around you looked for cover in the room to your left,  A small window to look outside. The park of the hospital was already painted orange by embers and flames, smoke forcing it's way through windows and creaks, through holes and doors. You could see people run through flames, bodies burning and shrinking down as they gave up. Dying, burned alive. Perhaps suffocated by the smoke before that..

It was only a faint second, then the building was shaking again – the wall to your right bursting into million pieces, the pressure forcing you against the wall.

Aching pain marked your temple, the rubbish buried in your skin and dust forced a cough out of your lungs.

Screams continued as you regained your focus slowly, having a look at the hole that explosion left on the floor. You could see the room beneath. Burning.. But still safer than this one up here.

Someone at the room next door decided to jump through the glass, while you took a deep breath, pulling up your shirt a little to cover up your nose and let yourself fall down to the next room.

Smoke was already heavy. There was little choice but to keep yourself low. Smoke would always find a way up. Everything seemed to be burning, still the building was errupted by explosions. Why didn't it stop? Who would cause this? And why now?

Bury a friend,

It was war. War to get outside. War to remain conscious or able to walk.

You were so tired. Tired of running, tired of surviving.

And yet you had reasons to move on. There was no other choice. Either John or Santino would kill you if you stopped right now.

After all you were the one who left without a word.. For their own safety. Now that you thought of it, it might have been a little foolish. But honestly? Was it the first time you did something you.. rather wouldn't have to do?

Thinking about this kept you sane.

You stepped over broken bodies, some were reaching out for your feet as you passed them. But you just kept moving on. You couldn't save them all. Not this time. You had to save yourself. You had to survive.

Your shoe got stuck on something and you looked back through the darkness, noticing the small shoulder that was buried beneath the missing wall from the room beside you. Someone might say that killing would change people at some point. It did. But it never made it harmless to see children die. Innocent. It could've been you. You so long ago.

That it had been a mistake to stop, would pay of right away. Not even the lump in your throat could be swallowed as something rained down your spine. The floor above you was giving in. And there was little space to dodge. Kicking and rolling and pushing you tried to get out of the way. Burning pieces of something crashed down and all you could do was to hurry. Pray that you were faster than whatever was coming down. This was a nightmare.

You missed death by a hair as you turned around to press yourself flat against the next wall, holding your breath to not cause any disturbance or extra weight to the wall you were leaning on.

What if this was happening because of you? But if was impossible. No one could possibly know about it. Maybe just coincidence.

The police didn't try to blow this place up. This was bullshit.

You needed fresh air. And you needed it badly. Your eyes were burning, your lungs aching already.

If you would pass out..you wouldn't make it. You would die. Just like everybody else here.

Try to wake up.

Groaning you made your way further down. Bulletproof clothing didn't protect against flames. Maybe you should ask for something that was heat resistant next time..

A dry chuckle left your chapped lips and threw yourself against the next door. Trying to open this exit that got you trapped inside for now. It didn't even move.

Well planned explosions.. To weaken the structure of the building. Panic. Fire. People that would kill for survival.. locked emergency exits.

Reaching for your phone you hoped to reach someone. Santi had been your last call that would wo-

Whatever was your phone before, was nothing but rubbish now. Cursing you threw it into the next best flame and moved on once more. Options were running low.

But if you just knew.

If you just knew that familiar eyes were watching the building from afar in blank terror. If you just knew that phone calls were made.

If you just knew that hell was being unleashed.

You couldn't move on. Your legs did no longer carry your and your lungs asked for oxygen. But all they got was smoke. No antidot you had with you could help – if the vials were still intact, that was.

Coughing you sat down in a hallway, lowering your rate of breaths as good as possible to win some time.

Always on the run..

Your head swayed to the side and you tried to focus on something in front of you, the  blood on your face not as dominant as the ashe that coated your skin now. The pain was even getting less.. Or you just were getting numb.

I wanna end me. I wanna, I wanna, I wanna end me.

Everything seemed to happen so slowly. As if it was wrapped in cotton candy, just like you.

More and more from the buildung was collapsing. Pulling more into the hungry flames that licked your boots and skin already.

If there was at least time to look at the damage and figure out how to fix yourself and this situation.

Dying here wasn't a great option either.

You didn't know where that strength came. Or who pulled you up and through the hallway. It just happened and you were allowed to witness it. A woman. About your age, you later noticed.

She was speaking to you, you could see her lips move, her hands searching you for wounds. But you heard no longer. All was..quiet.

Focus on her lips. Read them. Focus. Focus. Foc-

She gently tapped your face a few times and held your in a steady grip, repeating something over and over again.

You didn't even notice that you nodded, but she pulled you up once more. And you walked. Walked through death and flames.

It felt like eternity. But all that happened, passed in so little time that your brain couldn't really catch up with it.

You crashed against the womans back as she stopped and she pulled you into another direction, your legs aching as they were forced to move on.

You weren't the Vipress right now. You were a suvivor as long as you weren't dead.

Black dots were sprinkling your sight, sometimes you saw a flash of white as you turned your head and it all spinned. Deeper..deeper.. Pass flames and death.

Pass it all and leave it behind. Fall into darkness and embrace it.

Honestly, I thought that I would be dead by now.

The last time you remembered something to happen, you were somewhere under the earth. Buried alive.

You had survived for so long by now. Tricked and killed, escaped and lived on. Day after day. It always could have been your last. You always managed to slip through. Always found a way. This time it was someone else who pushed you through. But did you notice?

You just went through something that was hell on earth. The building had collapsed entirely. Flames had eaten everything away. And survivors? Impossible.

So you were most likely in your own underworld, stuck in darkness.

Someone forced water into your mouth and you started to fight, it felt as you were drowning once more No. No. NO! . Fight for your life as you didn't want to be brought back, back to another hell. Your hand connected with skin, your eyes meeting a terrified shade of green that belonged to that woman from before. Her neck was so thin.. So thin. The skin broke so fast. It broke so easy. Your knife never missing a mark. Never would you go back into that hell. Never. Never.. Never.

Maybe you should be sorry.

For the debt I owe, gotta sell my soul.

Time didn't mean a lot in darkness and smoke. The plastic bottle with water was empty beside you, two puddles of blood already dry as you moved your head around a little.

Was she alive? Did you kill her by accident?

You couldn't see her breathe. But it was too dark to see much anyway.

Fuck this..

'Cause I can't say no, no, I can't say no.

Besides a ringing in your ear, there was not much you could hear, but you forced yourself to get up anyway. Deaf. Great. Fantastic. Couldn’t get much worse.

Everything was hurting. Skin was burned and cut. Something probably broken or..just not in place anymore.

But as long as you couldn't get any clear thoughts you couldn't figure that out. Right now everything that mattered was.. to get out. Find a bit of strength. Somewhere.

Then my limbs all froze and my eyes won't close.

It took you an eternity to figure out that you weren't underneath the earth. You really had been buried alive the building. Hard to tell with all that darkness around you. But now and then.. There was light. And light was hope.

Clawing your way outside, only driven by the will to survive, to fix this, you found loose rocks and pulled and pushed. You kicked and you screamed, your body calling once more to give up and rest. You couldn't. You should be dead. There was no way you were alive. It was your imagination. The..after.. Was there such crap? Sure. You didn't expect heavenly choirs and silver gates.. But this did look like shit, even for hell.

And I can't say no, I can't say no.

There was a lot that still needed to be fixed. And you wished that you had more time.

Maybe even a chance for a normal life. As foolish was this thought was. But some could dream, right?

You no longer had to run. Your journey was over.

A last push and you gasped for air, nearly choking on it as it filled your lungs. You didn't have to see a doctor to know that you were suffering from smoke intoxication and most likely would die from that. If not the bleeding or lack of water. Your hands were bleeding, nails chipped. Dirt and blood everywhere. Help. You needed help.

What do you want from me? Why don't you run from me?

Turning on your back you watched the sky.

It looked..lovely. The aftermath of the fire, you assumed. Or the dawn. You couldn't tell. A few faint stars.. At least a nice last view.

Your shaking arm reached up, trying to grab a handful of the little suns.. But as it sank back lifeless your palm was empty, safe for the blood that had collected. Dry and fresh alike.

What an odd price to pay for..freedom. But sooner or later, it would have happened anyway. There was no other way out.

Yes. Perhaps you were sorry for all the things left unsaid. But they surely would forgive you at some point. If they ever..ever would know. Not exactly heroic. The great Vipress.. died because she didn’t manage to escape a collapsing building in time. You were smart. But also just..human.

What are you wondering? What do you know?

Frantic was the search, the signal lost. But hope? Hope did exist. It never truly faded.

Sometimes all that was left was a signal, a chain.

Perhaps a ring. A trail of blood. Tracks that could be followed. Marks so clear and yet hard to read.

There were people that knew you. Knew you better than anyone else. Those who had your trust. Those you trusted. Who would unleash hell if that meant to keep you safe, who wanted to run with you from this life.

If you would have accepted. All those doors, open.

News could spread like fire and unleash something worse than hell.

Why aren't you scared of me?

„That's impossible.���

Why do you care for me?

„Dio mio!“

When we all fall asleep,

„ She’s alive.”

 where do we go?

[kashimos-hajime]

Okay so I just read the last anon ask you replied to and holy shit I'm so glad you're still working on the Santino fic! I was going to ask but I never want to bother because I can't imagine how much work you put into your writing and I never want to make it seem like I'm rushing you/being pushy. I seriously cannot wait to read it once you've got the chance to get it out, be it a one shot or the first chapter of a series! I'll be backing it full on either way! Sending you all the good vibes!! 💕

i dont want any of my followers or otherwise to think they’re a bother to ask nicely about a fic!!! it’s always a pleasure to see that you guys are excited about it. thank you so much for the ask and for your support❤️❤️❤️

[yootaesowlwrites]

Give Me Strength Chapter 18;

"I will be out momentarily, but while I'm out I want you to go and buy some groceries," Elijah says while fixing his blazer, he stood in her bedroom door while she was putting on her shoes. "Nothing that contains alcohol."

"Anything else?" Alex asks, following him down the stairs, once they reach the bottom Elijah turns around to face her.

"Yes, Stop by the girl and get breakfast," Elijah says, Alex nods her head.

"Okay, I'm getting fries because it's the only decent thing they have." Alex states.

"Fries are fine, just remember to get some fruit and some vegetables," Elijah says, he pulls the front door open and they exit her home.

"I will," Alex says, locking her front door. "Do you need a ride somewhere?" Elijah walks down the steps.

"No, I will manage, but thank you," Elijah says. "But there is one more thing." Alex walks off her porch.

"Mh?" Alex hums waiting for him to respond.

"Be safe," Elijah says. "Niklaus is out there and who knows what he will do."

"Elijah, I hardly doubt that I'm part of his plan." Elijah frowns at her statement. "But I will try my best to be safe."

"Splendid," Elijah says before vanishing, Alex walks towards her car and climbs in.

Alex walks into the grill and makes her way towards the bar to place her order, Matt stood at a table watching her approach the bar and decided to intervene.

"Don't even bother, you're still not getting any alcohol," Matt says, Alex spins around to face him with a fake smile plastered on her lips.

"Oh, Matty, I don't want any liquor, my goal is to stop drinking," Alex says, her fake smile now gone. "Fries, takeaway." Matt tilts his head in confusion.

"But you love getting drunk." Matt states.

"Did you not listen? The goal is to try and stop, so, how about those fries?" Alex asks, Matt nods his head still trying to figure out what game she was playing.

"Yeah, okay," Matt says, he walks past her towards the kitchen while Alex turns around and takes a seat at the bar.

"Trying to quit, huh?" Damon asks, Alex freezes once she heard his voice next to her. "And how are you planning on doing that?"

"Well, firstly... it would be none of your business," Alex whispers knowing he would hear her, he moves to the seat right next to her.

"I should have killed you when I had the chance," Damon mutters, Alex takes in a deep breath and looks at him, trying to hide her fear.

"Damon," Alaric says from next to Damon, but they pay no attention to him.

"You really do hate me, but newsflash, Damon, everyone in this fucking town hates me," Alex says, her voice low but with a hint of confidence. "Don't think you're special, because you're just another bigot in my book."

"Careful," Damon warns her.

"You should be careful, someone might just whisper in the Sheriff's ear about what's really going on in this damn town," Alex says, If looks could kill Alex would have been dead.

"Yo—" Damon was cut off by a person stepping in between them.

"Gentlemen, why so glum?" The man asks, a groan leaves Damon's mouth. "And why are you being so rude to the lady?"

"Klaus, I presume," Damon says.

"In the flesh," Klaus says, he looks at Alaric. "Thanks for the loaner, mate." Alex stood from the stool ready to leave and find another place to sit, but Klaus had other plans.

"Not so fast, love," Klaus says, he grabbed her forearm making her hiss, the cuts from the display case still fresh on her skin. "I wish to apologize."

"For what exactly? I've never met you in my life." Alex says, little did she know.

"Oh, we have, but I was not quite myself," Klaus says. "I deeply apologize for injuring you the other night, but I'm glad to see I didn't cause too much damage, although these scars don't exactly compliment you." Alex tilts her head in confusion. "I sure do hope Alaric doesn't get fired for what I allowed you to do in his classroom." A smirk tugged at the corners of his lips as fear rose in Alex.

"I uh, um, all are forgiven." Alex manages to get out, Klaus releases her arm.

"I'm glad to hear you say that," Klaus says, Alex takes a step back from him.

"I should get going, busy day ahead of me," Alex says, almost sprinting towards the exit.

Alex stood in the kitchen slowly unpacking the bags of groceries she had bought today, but images of Klaus's face kept flashing through her mind, Alex had been so in thought she hadn't heard Elijah entering the house and the kitchen.

"I see you did as I requested," Elijah says, Alex jumps while spinning around to face him.

"Holy shit," Alex mumbles, placing her hand over her chest. "Sorry, you um scared me."

"Apologies," Elijah says, but he was suspicious. "What has gotten you so frightened?"

"It's uh nothing, I was just... lost in thought," Alex says, Elijah takes a step towards her.

"Your heart just skipped a beat." Elijah states. "I will ask again, what has you so frightened?"

"I met your brother today," Alex confesses, Elijah speeds towards her.

"You met, Klaus?" Elijah asks, Alex nods her head. "Has he done something to harm you?" Alex shakes her head.

"No, no, but he did apologize, for injuring me when he was..." Alex stops for a moment. "When he was, I assume, possessing Alaric's body."

"He apologized?" Elijah asks, her statement confusing him, she nods her head. "I do not understand, why are you so frightened then?"

"He could have killed me, Elijah," Alex says. "I told him to continue teaching the class while I smoked in the classroom, I blew smoke in his face." He now understood why she was frightened.

"Will you be all right?" Elijah asks, they had spoken for about an hour with Elijah mostly trying to reassure her.

"Yeah, I think so," Alex says. "So, uh with all the new things I bought today, I'm not sure I'd have a place to put the alcohol, what do I do with it?" Elijah stood from the couch and walks into the kitchen, Alex quickly follows behind him to see what he had planned, Elijah takes a bottle from the cabinet and opens it, taking in a deep breath.

"Pour it down the drain." Elijah states.

"Pour it down the drain?" Alex ass, Elijah nods his head and held the bottle out for Alex to take. "Do you know how expensive that is?"

"Did you buy them?" Elijah asks, Alex slowly shakes her head.

"I uh... no, but still," Alex says.

"Pour it down the drain, all of them," Elijah says, Alex slowly takes the bottle from his grasp.

"Are you sure?" Alex asks, Elijah walks up behind her and wraps his arms around her, he guides her towards the kitchen sink and slides his hand down her arm wraps his hand over her small one that was holding the bottle.

"I am sure," Elijah says, he turns her hand tipping the bottle over allowing the liquor to run down the drain pipes, Alex lets out a gasp. "Perhaps it will get easier, perhaps you'll be tempted to drink it, but just remember this, you are ridding your home and body of this poison."

"Okay." Alex whisper, Elijah takes the empty bottle from her grasp and places a full one in her hand, he takes a step back from her and watches as she opens the bottle and tipping it over as well, emptying it.

"What are you thinking?" Elijah asks.

"Just a few days ago I was drinking this and getting so drunk and high, and now, I'm pouring it all down the drain," Alex says. "I've been drinking this stuff ever since I met Santino."

"I want you to promise me something, Alexandra," Elijah says, Alex turns her body away from the sink but kept pouring the liquor down the drain. "Promise me that after today that you will never allow alcohol to pass your lips again, not even on a special occasion." Alex licks her lips thinking for a moment.

"That is a big promise," Alex says, she could see Elijah's eyes fall to the bottle in her hand making her look towards her hand. "Oh fuck." She had unknowingly moved her hand and poured the liquor onto the marble countertop. "Fuck." She places the bottle in the sink and picks up the washcloth, cleaning the spot she had made the mess.

"Here, let me help," Elijah says, he took the washcloth from her and started cleaning the mess.

"I'm such an idiot." Alex mumbles. "Sorry."

"It is quite all right," Elijah says. "So uh, could you give me your word?" They stood inches apart from each other.

"I promise," Alex says, Elijah gives her a faint smile and looks out the kitchen window.

"I must be going now, but I will be back early tomorrow morning or the afternoon," Elijah says, he takes a step back from her. "Keep emptying those bottle, do not leave a drop."

"All right," Alex says. "Be safe." Elijah hesitantly leans closer to her before placing a soft kiss on the top of her head.

"Thank you," Elijah says, he leaves the house as Alex continued pouring everything down the drain, hoping that she'll be able to keep her promise or she might never forgive herself.

[1] - [2] - [3] - [4] - [5] - [6] - [7] - [8] - [9] - [10] - [11] - [12] - [13] - [14] - [15] - [16] - [17] - [18 you’re here] - [19] - [20] - [21] - [22] - [23] - [24] - [25]

[emoselenas]

woodland creatures tour - day 5 (jacksonville)

day 5 was the last day we would spend in florida. i was actually really enjoying it down here and would have loved to stay longer. when we were planning this run i really wanted to do all florida shows but we couldn’t afford the extra mileage that would add to our van rental and in hindsight i think that still going to the carolinas was a good move.

i’m so glad this next gig was so close though, because we could still enjoy our time in orlando for a little bit longer. apparently we needed to check out of the airbnb by 10 or the host would charge us $20 for every like 5 minutes we kept the cleaning ladies waiting outside. so we hauled ass and then decided on a breakfast spot for everyone to go to. i really didn’t want to go to a chain restaurant. after a little bit of searching i found keke’s breakfast cafe, which seemed like a local franchise. had good reviews and looked interesting so we took a chance. i think this was the first like meal we all sat down and had together all of tour. we talked about anime while we waited for our food to come. we ate probably the best breakfast all of tour. my omelette was pretty damn good. santino ordered pancakes and i’m pretty sure they were the fluffiest ones we’ve ever had. 

if anyone knows me they know that i love food. once my mind is set on eating something i will literally not rest until i’ve had it. and for the entirety of our time in florida i DESPERATLEY WANTED ICE CREAM. i couldn’t find an ice cream spot on the other side of disney springs we ended up on after my lunch with eton and jeri so we left without ice cream. and i wanted ice cream really badly lmao. apparently, you can still go hang out at the disney resorts even if you don’t have a reservation. that was what all the disney blogs said. so i suggested a quick pit stop at the polynesian for dole whip before we hit the road for jacksonville. the guys were cool with it but it actually took much longer than it should have so it led to a chain of unfortunate events that i will divulge on later. at the time it was fine.

when i’ve stayed at disney i’ve only stayed at the port orleans resorts (which are BEAUTIFUL), and the last time was at a huge condo off the resort. the polynesian is one of the most expensive disney hotels you can stay at. we pull up and at first the security guard doesn’t let us in. i peered my head out the driver’s side window to let her know that we were here because we wanted dole whip lmao. i must have conveyed well enough that we aren’t a threat because she let us through. the resort is soooooo beautiful. and it was so nice out so it was nice to walk around. we had to walk quite a bit to get to the dole whip stand and luckily there wasn’t a wait. 

i don’t understand why it was my first time finally having dole whip when it’s always been available to me every time i’ve gone to disney??? but holy shit it was so tasty. i got the pineapple/vanilla swirl. i would have gotten something more elaborate but i was still about to consume dairy the day of a show which is already risky for me haha. joe got a float, i tried a sip and it was so good. i think kris just got pineapple soft serve. it was such an amazing snack while we were sitting there in the heat. i felt pretty damn good.

we then left for jacksonville and what was supposed to be a 2 hour drive turned into 3. that tends to happen (normally we account for this) due to pee breaks and a stop or two for gas. we ended up arriving to the hotel waaaaaay later than we were supposed to, around 5 pm. i still needed to shower, run to walmart to get antacid medicine, and we STILL needed to eat. we needed to load in no later than 7 for the show. i started to get really anxious. i knew there was nothing i could do but i went into panic mode. 

we check into the hotel, which actually seems OKAY at first. the girl at the counter is pleasant and complimenting me on my hair while she checks us in. but all i could think of was how fast i was going to throw down my bags and go pick up the tofu stir fry i ordered. i don’t get the luxury of just waiting until we get to the venue to eat because the sooner i eat the less likely my throat will be shitty when i have to sing. so i run to walmart to get my meds and then pick up my food. i went to walmart alone which was ill-advised. for the first time in ages i get cat-called. i know i was wearing shorts that made my non-existent butt look good but i walk around like that all the time and don’t get harassed, ever. the dude didn’t just say “what’s up”. he was like “ooooooOOOOOOOH hey girl what’s UPPPP that booty (yes he literally said ‘booty’) lookin FINE as HELL. what’s up??? how you doin??? what’s up??” like............would not shut up. i just looked down and sped inside the walmart, it looked like he was loading his bags into a car and i assumed he would be gone by the time i came back outside.

nope.

i called jeremiah for when the harassment continued lmao, i was just like “please stay on the phone with me until this is over, in case something happens to me.” i was livid. i go pick up the food while having a quick call to catch up with jeremiah and then i returned to the hotel. and i really thought the misery would end there. but i come back to the room to find out that there are BUGS ALL OVER THE FUCKING WALLS and PUBES IN THE SHOWER. i marched back to the concierge and told that girl in front of a family she had JUST checked in that our room had bugs and pubes. i felt bad for putting that on her but i was furious. she gets us a new room that is still pretty sketchy looking, but we do a check and it’s not in nearly as bad of shape as the other room.

i don’t even get time to shower, i just quickly rinse and shave. i didn’t even get to really do my makeup, i just like touched up whatever was on from this morning and inhaled my stir fry. at least the food was good. pulses. is hitting up the tour chat because they arrived before us (where’s the surprise lol) and they kept saying THERE WAS A DOG AT THE VENUE WHOSE NAME WAS ALSO SIERRA. so whereas this show seemed like it was going to be the least attended i was still pretty damn excited. they also said it was even smaller than will’s pub. i wondered how small they could mean, haha. but yeah. it was small! but! it was in a really cool little bar. there was a beautiful outdoor area with graffiti and the inside was definitely small but it’s not like we were bringing out 30 heads. it ended up working out fine. with the help of one of the locals named adult life, we moved the tables outside to allow for more room. 

adult life kindly hopped on the show a few days prior when one of the locals bailed. they were a really tight, awesome punk band that sounded awesome. i did like this weird like nod or like verbal acknowledgement when i saw the vocalist outside warming up lmao it was something like “MY MAN” and i immediately regretted being a fucking weirdo hahahaha. they covered dog days by florence it was so cool. i really enjoyed their set. most importantly they drove alllll the way out from orlando to play with us on a work night which we all immensely appreciated. they were awesome to talk to and it was great to meet them. 

while i believe like only 6 people came to this show, the jacksonville crowd was one of the highest quality audiences we played to. everyone was dancing and being really into both our sets, it was cool. i noticed they knew all the words to pulses. songs!!! i always think about how cool it is that if you can get one or two people to dig your music outside your friends circle, it just means that there are infinitely more people out there like them who would come through too, if they knew about your band. 

little did i know that more weirdness was unraveling after our set. i notice some guy is chatting up my bandmates as they’re loading up the van. i was outside when he says “oh so i own a couple buildings in the area, this one across the street and two down the road (something like that). i have a couple of employees inside getting a drink, i’m just waiting for them.” ????????? so weird. there’s like a total of 5 people inside that weren’t there for the show, or already working for the bar, and there was no way they were with this guy. the math didn’t add up. but i bopped back inside to go watch the last band, digdog. 

digdog ripped. they called themselves party prog and i absolutely back that statement. a really interesting mix of punk and prog music. not like new prog, but like rush and yes maybe??? whatever! they were great!!! really entertaining guys. super nice, too. my bandmates were still outside and i wanted them to come inside and watch so i was blowing up our van’s group chat. i shut off my internet cause my phone was dying and i figured they’d eventually come inside. after like ten minutes, only kris comes inside and no one else. i was like “??????” so my phone dies while we’re watching digdog. and after digdog finishes playing, we’re packing up merch, and my bandmates finally come back to explain to me that the reason why they stayed outside by the van is because that sketchy guy that was chatting them up was conspiring to rob us!!!!!! he started to ask them questions about where we were staying and where we were from. they didn’t want to leave our shit until the guy was gone. oh my god i didn’t even think of the possibility that someone might try to follow us back to the hotel and steal our gear. we’ve been sooo lucky, and we haven’t been robbed on tour. yet. lmao 

all in all, jacksonville was definitely a good time but very weird. if we come back (and we would like to!) we will definitely be on our toes lmao. 

oh. and we still found a roach in our room the next day. roaches are the devil i know (had them for years at the apartment in asbury) but that still sucks. don’t stay at the hospitality inn jacksonville!!!!!!!!!!

[hekateinhell]

Honestly mortified to have such thoughtful meta added to my clown post of a response LOL but yes!

I once heard someone say that Armand technically had three men who either should have had or sought to fulfill a paternal role in his life – Ivan, Marius, Santino — and ultimately he still had less than one father figure (if we think about positive role models and emotional support). And I think the general sentiment can also be applied to Lestat with respect to Gabrielle, the Marquis, and Marius.

The thing with a narcissistic parent is that they tend to view their children as extensions of themselves, so everything the child does is a statement on the parent. From Marius's perspective, Armand giving in to the cult and not breaking away from it on his own is a reflection on Marius and Marius's deficiencies as a person, father, lover, and maker. The "fact" that his hunting style is different is obviously a clear rejection of Marius's teachings, etc. The same with Lestat ignoring his advice (intentionally or not) and acting as individual, insisting on choices Marius would not make for himself; it feels like a personal attack each and every time and the issues compound and begin to fester.

It's interesting to me that Bianca and David said the same thing with regards to Marius needing an acolyte 500 years apart — the man does not change! And I think this then edges into the conversation we've had before about vampire neuropsychology:  does being turned as an adult who has a fully developed brain (so not Armand and Lestat) and has lived a human life mean that it's harder to adapt to a different way of thinking?

To your last, heartbreaking point: in my opinion, Marius does love deeply, but he completely and utterly lacks the ability to empathize with those he feels should defer to him and his expectations for whatever reason (going beyond Lestat and Armand and now I'm thinking about Pandora as well), with the anger and disconnect emerging as soon as they don't. And in the end everyone, including Marius himself, suffers for it. I've made a similar point about Armand, love, and (lack of) empathy during his early interactions with Lestat and then the theatre years, but the difference is that Armand was able to grow past that by the end of canon and Marius seemingly hasn't.

*I ​would also commit murder to see those omitted 50 pages holy shit. And you're right, AR might have taken them out but the fragmentation of the Lestat/Marius relationship is so, so evident.

“everytime Lestat and Marius say some shit” that is the exact expression Armand has on his face whenever Lestat and Marius start acting all buddy buddy perfect master and apprentice duo other people could never, right in front of his proverbial salad, so he stares right into the camera and storms off the room without a word. Happens twice a week at the very least whenever Armand is in court </3

LMAO

Listen, Marius is a dick to Lestat too!

I've talked about it more depth before but like if you apply narcissistic family dynamics to the context of VC, it's pretty clear that with Marius, Lestat is the golden child and Armand's the scapegoat child. But the golden child also suffers in the context of this family structure — it's a very precarious and conditional pedestal to be on, and the fall from grace comes quick!

[monstersinthecosmos]

Whats your least favorite VC ship?. Which two could you never imagine wanting to write about etc

This is really hard for me to answer for a couple reasons.

THE FIRST REASON? Is that VC is so full of fucking ships holy shit anne relax. Like the vampires are so open to love, open to polyamory, open to coming in and out of each other’s lives at different intervals and having open relationships with others. There’s also so many characters! So like, I could sit here and make up some bullshit rarepair and go I’LL NEVER WRITE THIS LOL and it’s like, who cares lmao it’s a rarepair and LITERALLY NO ONE ASKED. So to me it’s hard to think about cause there’s TOO MANY!

If you’re asking about popular/canon ships? Lestat/Louis is probably my least favorite LMAO. Marius/Armand is up there, too. BUT LIKE? It doesn’t mean I can’t imagine writing about them! I’ve written about both of those ships. 

In fact, that actually MOTIVATES me to write about them. It’s like, I’m interested in the creative and emotional challenge of finding ways to make it work for me and to address things that I’d like to see in canon. That’s what fanfiction is for!!!!! It is an exercise in radical empathy! 

Like, I spoke about this once at length and caused a bunch of wank on accident LMFAO but I think Lestat/Louis is a gross abusive ship in canon haha but I still love seeing fanworks of them and I’ve written about them before, because I’m like super cheering on their potential and I have a version of them in my head that I think would really thrive. And same goes for Marius/Armand. I’m not squeamish about them like a lot of people are, but I also don’t think they have anything to gain from each other as a ship, at least not in modern times. 

BUT TO BE FAIR? I’m like, super picky about who I ship Marius with, because he’s special to me and I believe I have an intimate understanding of his soul LMAO and I don’t think he belongs with just anybody. Like, ship him with Pandora or Mael or get out of my face. (I will also accept bicentennial hatefucking w/ Santino). 

I’d never say I couldn’t imagine writing about a ship, though. To me, that’s like the deaTH OF CREATIVITY! As a fic writer, it’s like a hobby of mine to arrange the puzzle pieces in my mind until they make sense. I enjoy the creative challenge of figuring out what my standards are for how a certain ship might work, under what circumstances etc. It’s really mentally stimulating for me to think about. 

So I’m willing to give anybody a try, really. If I ever don’t write a ship it’s because I don’t have ideas for them or I don’t feel that i know the character well enough to embody their point of view. But I would never say no on principle. 

[the-darklings]

Aight I have completely caught up on COA and holy shITTTTT. The twist was really well done with the Elder, I didn’t expect it as early as V did, but the hints there were so good and nuanced and it was SO SATISFYING WHEN IT WAS REVEALED.

Also i miss Santino. Damn i never expected to love that arrogant piece of shit, and here we are: simping. Crying when V hallucinated him in the desert lol. Can’t wait for ch 18! You’re a powerhouse of writing. Your ocs and world development and plot *chefs kiss* *punches the air out of how much i love it* *kicks a car* *fucking pours a gallon of gatorade on myself*

Thank you so much for reading!! 🥺🥺🥺

And yeah the twist with Elder/V was very much built upon V’s supposed “ignorance” which wasn’t ignorance at all but it was about not showing her hand (even in her head). I’m glad you found it satisfying tho and the reveal earned. To be honest that part just made him respect/like her more. She really proved her own there.

And, ah, Santino. Honestly I feel like that’s a big mood of a lot of people reading COA. Even people who are not his team have grown to at least like him. Which I never expected when I took the risk to make him one of the main characters in the story. A lot of people also went through some emotions during s/v moment in ch17 despite it being the single shortest moment in the chapter. The energy of it is so different and warm I don’t blame people at all. It was very much written with longing and fondness in mind.

[bluelolblue]

AYYY QUOTING TIME :33

AWWWE he wasn't sure who he was reassuring 😞

"It's alright now." He wasn't sure which of them he was reassuring. Clement could hear himself talking, and he wished it sounded like it was coming from somewhere very far away but it didn't.

Omg poor Clement, really looks like he was struggling 😭

For a second, Clement had to close his eyes and turn his head away and just shake. He swore faintly, trying to spur himself on with adrenaline. He managed to open his eyes again, trying to just focus on Santino's face for a second.

THIS WHOLE PART I LOVE IT! Innocent kitten Santino wanting a hug ommggg babyyy T_T

"You're passing out too? Why?" He sounded so innocent, just a kitten right now. Sweat had plastered his hair to his forehead. He was pawing at Clement's free arm, trying to pull him into a hug. Such a sweet man, in spite of everything. Hold onto that. Get vicious for that. He must already be going into a bullet wound fever, and Clement had to be there to hold him.

AHAH PLEASE well that's the only option they would have if that happened, for Santino having to do all that LMAO

"No. No l'm not gonna pass out, but if I do, you put pressure where I tied this. And keep shaking me till I wake up." But he couldn't let that happen.

HOLY SHIT?? DAMN

"I have to do something a little drastic, okay? I have to push vitae into you. Blood.I-I have to push blood into you..." Clement pulled out his pocket knife and felt his vision swim as he held it over his own wrist.

EHEH NOW THIS PART it made me laugh but also THAT'S LITERALLY SANTINO AHAH, baby got a bullet wound fever but still talked about this. And gun fucking mentioned YAAA 🤭

Santino managed a sly smile even at a time like this. "You can push anything you like into me. Like that gun last week. Or the tip of your boot after l'm done humping it. Or your cock."

AHAH yeah the best kind of distraction >:] and this whole part AAA I love it ^ ^

It broke the tension long enough for Clement to laugh. "Good, you're doing so good, distracting me. Lord almighty, I am holding onto consciousness by a fuckin' thread...okay, three, two, one -" Blade into flesh. The feeling of his own body pouring out of him, unfathomably wrong Somehow, he got his wrist to Santino's lips and felt him latch on.

OH NO CLEMENT AHAH 😭

"Good.."' he mumbled, slipping sideways onto Santino's chest. "You're doing you're good - you're..." and his vision went black as Clement tumbled into the blissful nothingness of giving himself away.

These two are so silly omg, they go well together EHEH, and I love Clement the silly cowboy! Thank you so much for writing this!! <333

So if, for example, Santino was hurt and was bleeding, does Clement faint AHAH? Or he really tries to keep himself awake ehhehehe :]

He really tries, and he succeeds for a while, but then he has to give Santino blood because that's how vampires do healing in VTM...you'll see hehe!

Just a short snippet, not even a ficlet really, but it was fun.

TW: graphic blood descriptions, passing out, nsfw mentions from Santino flirting, Clement makes a cut on his own arm to feed blood to Santino (not exactly self harm but adjacent so please read with caution)

It wasn't all blood that bothered Clement. If he could brace himself (before a surgery or a blood draw, for instance)...well let's be honest, it was still pretty bad. But seeing blood gushing out of a fresh gunshot wound was on another level. There was no time to freeze his muscles in place and force them to perform and tell himself that none of this was really happening. That was Santino's body in front of him, going pale and ice cold and trembling all over with the horror of that hole clean through his bicep, and it was making his own body do the exact same thing.

"It's alright now." He wasn't sure which of them he was reassuring. Clement could hear himself talking, and he wished it sounded like it was coming from somewhere very far away but it didn't. He was definitely wrapping a tourniquet around Santino's arm, feeling Santino's muscles slide against each other and a fresh wave of blood pour over his flesh at the pressure.

For a second, Clement had to close his eyes and turn his head away and just shake. He swore faintly, trying to spur himself on with adrenaline. He managed to open his eyes again, trying to just focus on Santino's face for a second. His charge, his responsibility, his wellspring of strength. Santino's head was leaned back against the wall and it kept lolling sideways. "No," said Clement firmly. 'Do not pass out, okay? We can't both pass out."

"You're passing out too? Why?" He sounded so innocent, just a kitten right now. Sweat had plastered his hair to his forehead. He was pawing at Clement's free arm, trying to pull him into a hug. Such a sweet man, in spite of everything. Hold onto that. Get vicious for that. He must already be going into a bullet wound fever, and Clement had to be there to hold him.

"No. No I'm not gonna pass out, but if I do, you put pressure where I tied this. And keep shaking me till I wake up." But he couldn't let that happen. It went against everything he needed to do, everything he needed to be. This damn body...he felt like he had been dipped in ice water. There was no feeling in his legs. He punched at his own thigh, trying to stay alert.

"Okay," Santino said weakly. He'd lost too much. It was drenching his whole arm in rivers, an external set of veins trailing down to his limp palm. God this was horrific. With sinking dread, Clement realized he had no choice.

"I have to do something a little drastic, okay? I have to push vitae into you. Blood. I - I have to push blood into you..." Clement pulled out his pocket knife and felt his vision swim as he held it over his own wrist.

Santino managed a sly smile even at a time like this. "You can push anything you like into me. Like that gun last week. Or the tip of your boot after I'm done humping it. Or your cock."

It broke the tension long enough for Clement to laugh. "Good, you're doing so good, distracting me. Lord almighty, I am holding onto consciousness by a fuckin' thread...okay, three, two, one - " Blade into flesh. The feeling of his own body pouring out of him, unfathomably wrong. Somehow, he got his wrist to Santino's lips and felt him latch on. There was his own vital energy pouring out of him, and the void rushing in. Every bit of strength lost was given to Santino, and that made this sickening weakness into something glorious. "Good..." he mumbled, slipping sideways onto Santino's chest. "You're doing - you're good - you're..." and his vision went black as Clement tumbled into the blissful nothingness of giving himself away.

[streetlightdiaries]

I’m summing up my year and you can’t stop me.

It’s real easy to be sad this time of year; there are so many highs and lows tied to the holidays, not to mention the influence of the gallons of alcohol we traditionally take down at their celebrations. It’s almost peer pressure at this point, to be sad or regretfully nostalgic, but—I’m just not. And I wanted to write about why if only to make it clear to myself:

Ok, maybe not everything worked out like I thought it would by the end of this year. Maybe I was not planning on falling back into the chaotic trap of misguided passion that is my Long Island friend zone. I was not expecting for my return to be so suddenly complicated or confusing, and I couldn’t have remembered how intense their effects on me are. Once in love, always in love, I think I wrote. This year, I was not going to run full-speed away from decent guys who smiled at me . . . but I did. And I really didn’t foresee getting dumped by someone I wasn’t even dating . . . although I should have. Maybe I'm just comparing it to the disastrous few that came before it, but this year was fucking awesome. I can’t remember the last time I felt so much magic, saw so many sparks of honest love, or believed so whole-heartedly in things, even if those things are misguided and passion-happy. I wanted to come up with my 5 favorite dates of the year, but dang it if I couldn’t cut it down to less than 10.

I remember going to that party in January; “Holy shit—” he said, when he saw me walk into the room. In February, someone sent me on a wild, ridiculous treasure hunt with clues everywhere, but mostly in old song lyrics. And I realized I’d been loved, even if they never did know how to show it.

March was the best of all; the book came out—FINALLY! And I could breathe again. And you all . . . well, you all just made me feel like the greatest little piece of scene trash that ever did grow up and try to use her talents for good. I am trying, I swear.  

April was ridiculous; BW’s dad wore blouses and I sat in a studio again. And I saw him; I saw my main character on a night that didn’t seem real or attached to time at all. And he meant everything to me all over again.

I tried all summer to keep things exactly as they were. I think we can presume how that worked out for me. I had my heart stolen in August, before another sun soaked season faded away. I was grounded that day in Central Park, which was lucky timing, because the fall rocked my world . . .  

October 27th and then all of November. The fall was everything I’ve been dreaming of for the past 7 years, and then suddenly everything I’d never dreamed at all. This winter has been all about difficult realities.  

My biggest accomplishments were One Way Down and coming across cr again. I like that I know who I am and I like that I could be alone today, in complete happiness without the need for attention or validation.

My best decision was signing up for Spotify; my worst has already been alluded to (I’m sorry tS and M, I’ll love you both forever and ever, apart or separate, and I think you know that).

# of Hair Colors: 3, only

# of Times I Thought I Was in Love: 4, including Nick Santino allllll over again.

# of Best Buds: 1, much to his annoyance, I'm sure.

# of Friends Who Constantly Put Me in My Place: 3

# of Shirts I Wore on a Regular Basis: like, 2

# of New Songs that Became My Jam: 57,000

# of Things I’m Absolutely Sure Of: 3 . . . and I’m rounding up.

There are some things that will never be the same again. There are others, I realize, that will never change. There are pros and cons to each. My important discoveries this year were that he loves me, that soul mates really are forever, and love . . . it’s not at all what I thought. Also, I’ll never be able to listen to MKTO, because I am constantly terrified he’ll up and say, “Get up, John,” at any given measure. This is a tragedy and a heartache.

Believe in what you can. Do you. Keep your eyes up. Take selfies, write songs, buy the boots, and for Heaven’s sake, listen to The Maine! There is only older than this age, so right now we’re still young. Call her. Tell him. Go get yourself some regrets for this time next year.   

Happy New Year, tumbleweeds.

Terica.