#but his websites and socials quietly went away

[theragamuffininitiative]

😣

[angelaw-07]

Wish You could see me now Pt 1

Warnings: Fluff, Angst, swearing, arguments, a little smut, includes most BND members, appearance of Zico, exes to lovers, college au, I am not shipping any Kpop idols together.

Summary: As Han Dongmin slowly realises his mistake of losing you, he relishes the idea of going back. your dorm only a hallway away. Dongmin starts to make gentle and subtle gestures towards you and edges somewhat closer, hoping to regain the relationship he ended himself. But just as he thought things were going back to normal, a new guy showed up, cutting ties immediately between you two. Dongmin has to get you back, by fire and smoke.

Author's note: This is my first time writing on Tumblr or on any social website.. so please be lenient and don't criticise. THX.. :)

Fuck this. He noticed her laugh happily, intertwining her fingers with him. What's the point? If she can move on so quickly, why can't I?

Then

Taesan sat near the bathroom door, hearing your choked sobs and cries from inside. His heart clenched. He knew it was his fault, saying things he didn't actually mean. He wished he could embrace you and tell you that he wasn't serious. But the damage had already been done. "Y/n..?" Taesan spoke softly, gently knocking on the door. "Please.. Can you open the door?". After a few deathly hesitant moments, the door clicked open and Taesan slowly pushed the door open. He looking inside the bathroom and noticed the flowing tears spilling over your cheeks. He looked away guiltily, cursing himself for the situation he was in. "A..are you okay?" He winced at his own question, knowing the answer already. You looked over at him before looking away, "I'm fine.." your voice was choked and pained. Taesan wanted to comfort you desperately, but he remembered vividly what he said and stopped himself. "If I knew that you were this insecure about everything, I wouldn't have settled for you, we're better off apart than together!". He knew what he'd done, and it would take a miracle for you to forgive him. He stood up and went to his bedroom, leaving the door open slightly. After a few moments, he could hear the front door open and close abruptly. It was over. And he knew it.

Now

The bustling, lively atmosphere of the bar was almost enough to drown out the incessant sounds coming from your thoughts. The lights, the music, and the laughter from your friends sitting around the table - all were just a few of the distractions. And yet, none of it was enough to keep your mind from wandering towards the one thing you didn't want to think about. You caught yourself gazing off into the distance, the memories of your past relationship resurfacing like an unwelcome companion. Taesan, his name echoed in your head. The sound of laughter drew you back to the present, and you couldn't help but feel a pang of bitterness. It was hard to ignore the way your friends seemed to relish in your single status, even if they didn't mean to.

"You know, you could always just give him a call," one of your closest friends, Hanni, chimed in, nudging you playfully.

"Why on earth would I do that?" You replied, feigning nonchalance, but secretly hoping no one noticed the hint of defensiveness in your voice.Hanni shrugged, taking a sip from her cocktail, "Come on, you know he's been calling you, right?"

You tensed slightly at her words. Of course you knew. You could still vividly remember the countless missed calls, the flood of texts asking for a chat, a chance to give an explanation. But every time, you'd find yourself staring at his name on your phone screen, fingers hovering over the call button, but never quite pressing it. The bitter memory of the argument that had led to your breakup rose to the surface again, and you pushed it back down, trying to put on a casual front. "Yeah, I know," you said quietly, pretending to be more indifferent than you actually felt, "He left me, remember?"

"Yeah, but everyone knows the guy was totally smitten with you," Hanni laughed. "I mean, who wouldn't be?"

Another one of your oldest friends, Mina, chimed in, "Honestly, he was lucky to even be with you in the first place. I still can't believe you're single now."You forced a small smile at their attempts to cheer you up, but their words only seemed to rub salt in the wound. "Yeah, yeah," you muttered, trying to laugh it off. "I'm a catch."

Suddenly, you felt your heart skip a beat as your phone vibrated in your pocket. The caller ID flashed Taesan's name, and a wave of conflicting emotions washed over you. Your friends, noticing the change in your demeanour, leaned in with eager eyes, their curiosity piqued.

"Is that him?" Hanni said, eyebrows raised.

You silently nodded, staring at the screen as the call continued to ring. "Yeah," you mumbled, a mix of anxiety and anticipation building inside you. "It's him."

Taesan calls again, but you ignore it. Your friends let out small groans of disappointment, but the relief that washed over you was undeniable.

"You're really not going to answer?" Yuna questioned, looking at you with a mix of surprise and concern.

You swallowed hard, the sound of your phone ringing again setting your nerves on edge once more. It was like the universe was trying to play tricks on you.

"He's calling again," Yuna pointed out unnecessarily.

You hesitantly pressed the answer button, your heart thundering in your chest. After a few moments of silence, you finally spoke.

"Hello?"

Taesan's voice came through the line, deep and familiar, sending a mixture of emotions coursing through you.

"Hey," he said, a hint of relief in his tone, "Finally, you picked up."

You couldn't help but feel a pang of bittersweet sentiment. His voice sounded like a ghost from the past, reminding you of countless happier memories and arguments.

"What do you want, Taesan?"

There was a brief silence before his next words, as if he was carefully choosing what to say.

"I just... wanted to talk," he said, his voice unusually soft for someone who usually came off as so brusque.

The unexpected change in tone caught you off guard. The Taesan you remembered had been rough, cold, and distant, especially in the days before your breakup. Now, however, he sounded almost... vulnerable.

"Talk about what?" you asked, keeping your voice neutral, although you couldn't help the small flicker of curiosity that had flared up inside you.

"About... us," he responded, his voice slightly tinged with something akin to pain, "About what happened."

The mention of your past relationship was like a stab to the heart. You could almost feel the knot of emotions you'd been trying to push down suddenly tightening, ready to unravel.

"What's there to talk about?" you replied, trying to maintain your composure, "We broke up, that's it."

Taesan exhaled deeply, the sound of it crackling through the phone. "It's not that simple," he insisted, his voice taking on a more firm tone, "I know I messed up. I know I'm the reason we're not together anymore. I just... I want to fix it. Would you mind if you came to my apartment?"

You were taken aback by his request. Going to his apartment meant being in the same space where both your best and worst memories had been made. But despite your reservations, you found yourself asking, "Why do you want me to come there?"

Taesan's response was almost immediate, as if he'd been expecting the question. "I want to talk to you in person," he said, "It's easier to say what I need to say when you're right in front of me."

A part of you wanted to refuse, to tell him that talking on the phone was enough. But there was also a curiosity, a nagging feeling that maybe he really had something important to say.

"Fine," you said, trying to sound nonchalant, "When do you want me to come over?"

"Is now alright?" he asked, a hint of hopefulness in his voice.

You glanced at your friends, who were quietly watching your interaction. Mina raised an eyebrow, and Hanni shrugged, a silent vote of approval.

"Yeah," you replied, a hint of resignation in your tone, "Now is fine."

Taesan's voice softened again. "Thank you," he murmured, the relief evident in his words.

You ended the call, your heart still thudding against your chest. Your friends looked at you expectantly, waiting to hear what you had agreed to.

"I'm going to his apartment," you told your friends, trying to sound casual, but failing somewhat.

Mina's eyes widened, and Hanni raised an eyebrow. "Seriously? You're actually gonna go?"

"He wants to talk," you said, "And... I want to hear what he has to say."

Hanni and Mina shared a meaningful glance, knowing you well enough to sense the turmoil that was brewing within you.

"Be careful," Hanni said, a hint of worry in her voice, "He better not hurt you again."

Mina nodded, a frown on her face. "Yeah, you deserve better than that hothead."

"I'll be fine," you reassured them, though the truth was, you weren't entirely sure yourself.

Mina studied your face for a moment, concern etched in her expression. "You'll text us, right? Just to let us know you're safe."

You chuckled, appreciating their support. "I will, promise."

With that, you collected your belongings, trying to ignore the butterflies fluttering in your stomach as you headed out to Taesan's apartment. You took a taxi to his place, the journey to his apartment was a torturous mix of anticipation and anxiety. You went over countless scenarios in your head, imagining what he might say, how you would react, whether you would forgive him or not. The city outside your taxi window seemed to blur into a stream of colors and lights, mirroring the whirlwind of emotions you were feeling inside. Finally, you arrived at Taesan's apartment complex. It was a familiar sight, the building where you had spent countless nights together, both happy and angry. You took a deep breath, steadying yourself as you paid the taxi driver and stepped out into the cool evening air. You walked up the path to his door, each step feeling heavier than the last. You reached his apartment and stood for a moment, trying to collect yourself. Then, summoning all your courage, you raised your hand and knocked.

There was a moment of silence before you heard footsteps approaching. Then, the door opened, revealing Taesan. He looked nearly the same as you remembered, his tall frame and strong features instantly recognisable. His eyes widened as he saw you, and for a moment, he simply stood there, taking you in.

"I said I would," you replied, trying to sound indifferent, but unable to hide the slight tremble in your voice.

Taesan stepped back, opening the door wider. "Come in," he said quietly, gesturing for you to enter.

You swallowed, taking a step into the apartment. It looked the same as you remembered, the familiar layout and furniture bringing back a wave of memories. You could almost envision yourself and Taesan, laughing and arguing within these walls. Taesan closed the door behind you, the sound echoing through the suddenly quiet apartment. He led you to the living area, gesturing for you to sit down. The tension in the air was almost palpable as you both took a seat on opposite ends of the couch.

A few moments of uncomfortable silence passed before Taesan finally spoke, his gaze fixed on the floor. "I... I don't even know where to start," he admitted, his voice unusually vulnerable.

"How about you start from the beginning?" you suggested, trying to keep your tone neutral.

Taesan looked up, his eyes meeting yours. "The beginning... right." He sighed, running a hand through his hair. "I guess I should start by saying I'm sorry."

Hearing those words from him, an apology that you had longed to hear for months, brought up a well of emotions within you. You swallowed, trying to push them down as you replied, "Go on."

Taesan shifted in his seat, the guilt in his eyes almost palpable. "I was an idiot, I know that now. I took you for granted, I let the archery team get in the way... and you paid the price."

"You were pretty obsessed with it," you said, a hint of bitterness in your voice. "Did you really think spending hours on end at the archery range was better than spending time with me?"

Taesan winced at your words, his shoulders slumping. "I thought I was making the right choice," he said quietly, "I thought the archery team was my ticket to something great, something bigger than us. I didn't realize... I didn't realize I was sacrificing us in the process."

You crossed your arms, trying to shield yourself from the surge of emotions that his words had stirred up. "And what about the way you spoke to me? The way you'd snap at me for the smallest things?"

Taesan let out a sigh, a mixture of shame and regret filling his gaze. "I don't know what came over me," he confessed, "The more I dedicated myself to archery, the more I realised how much I was losing in the process. But instead of dealing with my own insecurities, I took it out on you, and I'm so sorry for that."

You clenched your fists, the hurt from months of feeling insignificant and unloved suddenly rushing to the surface. "You made me feel worthless, Taesan. Like I was just some afterthought in your life."

Tears welled up in Taesan's eyes, his expression one of genuine remorse. "I never should have made you feel that way. You were the best thing that ever happened to me, and I threw it all away because I was too blind to see what really mattered."

Taesan inched closer to you on the couch, his body so close that you could almost feel the heat radiating from him. His voice trembled as he spoke, "Can I... can I try something?"

Caught off guard by his sudden closeness, you tensed, unsure of what he was planning to do. But with a slight nod, you allowed him to proceed, curiosity mixing with your caution.

Taesan slowly reached out a hand, gently resting it on your arm. The contact was soft, a stark contrast to the roughness of his demeanour before. He spoke softly, his voice sincere. "I know words can't undo what I did, but I want to show you something."

You held your breath, the intimacy of his touch and the earnestness in his voice making your heart flutter even as your mind screamed caution. "Show me what?" you asked, intrigued in spite of yourself.

Taesan's fingers gently slid down your arm, leaving tingles along your skin. His gaze locked onto yours as he continued, his voice a mere whisper, "Close your eyes."

With a mixture of trepidation and anticipation, you followed his direction, closing your eyes. The room was suddenly plunged into darkness, your other senses heightening to compensate for the absence of sight.

You felt Taesan's presence shift as he moved closer, his breath gently washing across your skin. He spoke again, his voice so close that you shivered, "Just relax."

The sound of his voice, low and soothing, sent a wave of calm through you. Despite your reservations, you felt your body begin to loosen up, the tension in your shoulders easing slightly. You took a deep breath, trying to focus on the sensations rather than your thoughts.

Taesan's fingers traced a soft path along your jawline, his touch as light as a feather. It was a different side of him, a tenderness you had only glimpsed before. He spoke once more, his voice a gentle murmur, "Picture us together. Can you do that for me?"

Your mind instantly went back to the good memories - laughing together, cuddling on the couch, sharing quiet moments in his embrace. "I can," you replied softly, the images flooding into your head.

"Good," Taesan praised, his touch still caressing your jawline. "Now remember how I made you feel. Special, wanted, loved."

The memories hit you like a wave, the familiar feelings of warmth and affection rising up within you. "Yes," you whispered, your voice thick with emotion, "I remember."

Taesan's touch moved lower, tracing along your neck, sending shivers down your spine. "Now think of all the things I missed out on," he said quietly, the regret evident in his tone. "Nights we didn't spend together, times I wasn't there for you, moments I took for granted."

The sting of those losses came back to you, the memories of solitary evenings and lonely weekends filling your mind. You let out a shaky breath, the pain still fresh, still raw. "Yeah.. I remember."

His fingers continued their journey, gently trailing across your collarbone. "And now," Taesan murmured, his voice taking on an edge of determination, "Think about how badly I want to make it up to you. To make all those memories I missed out on, and so much more."

Your heart thumped in your chest, the intensity in his words evoking a mixture of hope and fear. "You can't just undo all the hurt," you said, your voice almost quivering, "Even if you want to."

"I know I can't," Taesan agreed, his touch now at the base of your throat. "But I want to try, more than anything. I want to show you how much I regret the way I treated you. How much I..." He hesitated, his fingers pausing.

Your pulse raced as you waited for him to finish his sentence, the implications of unspoken words hanging heavily in the air. "How much you..." you prompted softly, your heart in your throat.

Taesan's touch moved lower, his fingers drifting over your shirt, each contact sending electricity through your veins. He spoke again, his voice barely above a whisper, "How much I still love you."

Those three words, uttered so sincerely, hit you like a freight train. You opened your eyes, looking at him, your heart caught in a whirlwind of emotions. Your breath hitched in your throat, your heart stuttering in your chest. The words you had longed to hear for months, so full of yearning and remorse, were finally spoken. "Taesan..." you murmured, your voice thick with a tangle of emotions.

Taesan's fingers paused at your waist, his touch warm and firm. "I know I messed up," he said, his gaze holding yours, "I know I should have realized how much you meant to me before I lost you. But I promise, from the bottom of my heart, I won't make that mistake again."

You wanted to believe him, you wanted the words to be true, but the hurt and fear still held you back. "How can I trust that?" you asked, the words coming out more pained than you had intended.

Taesan's fingers continued their path up your sides, each touch like a gentle plea for forgiveness. "Because I'll do whatever it takes to prove it to you," he said, his voice earnest. "I won't let anything come between us again. Not archery, not anything."

The conviction in his words hit a nerve, giving credence to the hope that was quietly growing within you. "What about the archery team?" you asked, your voice betraying a hint of hesitation, "It was your dream... your everything."

Taesan's hand reached your face, his thumb gently stroking your cheek. "I was a fool to let it consume me the way it did," he admitted, a hint of bitterness in his voice. "I thought it was my ticket to something bigger, but I was wrong. You... you are what matters, what I should have prioritised all along."

"Only if you say yes"

Authors note:

Sorry for the long wait and very long story (I did add a little Enha reference tho).. this is practically only part one, so others will join this. I plan on making it a large series. Thanks for reading if you got this far! Bye Pooks!

In the meantime as I'm writing pt 2. Plz appreciate this man and take good care of him. He deserves it.

[lefarte]

hi there... if you have time would you be willing to write hcs for levi with a reader who was a medic in the bremen army, but helped to heal soldiers from both sides? i just think theres a fun dynamic to be had there ehe. can be platonic or romantic! i love ur writing btw thank you for being there for the 7 funger fans on this website

I ended up writing this as a fic because I had several requests for a Levi fluff fic and I thought this prompt was cute in particular >:]

GN reader

TW for emetophobia

“Come on, open up,” You quietly urged. “You need to eat.”

Levi made a half-hearted noise of shame, his nose twitching at the sight of the spoon pointed towards his face.

Levi was not exactly a difficult patient. In fact, he was quite easy to handle. Even though Union soldiers would usually scowl and reject you, he never showed you any hostility. He was softspoken and intelligent, unlike many infantry troops. His only real problem was his social aversion.

He often stepped away when you went to take his pulse. He didn’t like being touched. He wouldn’t accept any praise by you, instead, he would quietly take it as condescension. No matter how you tried to reach out, he only withdrew harder. Skittish, and quietly untrusting, much like a rabbit.

You’d never forget the face of despondency he had lying on that cold kitchen floor, having ransacked an entire fridge worth of food and vomited it all out, collapsing in a cold sweaty heap and gasping and gurgling. The sound of rattling in his sternum. It was too familiar to you.

From then on, he could move and eat, but not much. You had refashioned the club into a little makeshift hospital. Securing the bunk beds with little blankets and everything. Fetching in pails of rainwater. Even though you tried to advertise it, no one else had stopped by.

So Levi was your only patient, which didn’t thrill him.

“Open,” you urged again.

“…Ah.”

You fed him the porridge, which you had mixed with medicinal herbs. It tasted awful. He didn’t react.

“I… I can feed myself.” He muttered awkwardly.

That night you brought him back, you did a little checkup on him. He suffered many of the same ailments as the others raised in the trenches. Malnutrition, shell shock, tremors. He seemed to quietly accept much of your poking and prodding, but went dead quiet when you asked him to undress.

He’d been a little bashful around you since.

“Want a drink?”

He shook his head. “I’m… not thirsty…”

“Fine, then how about I comb your hair?”

“…..You don’t want to touch my hair…. I… I have lice.”

“Every infantryman has lice.”

You paused.

“Want me to wash your face?”

“…you must be…. very… bored. Stuck here with me.” He said hoarsely. “Waiting for… someone else to come…”

“No! I’m not bored… I’m…” You swallowed. “Worrying.”

“Yeah. Me too.” He went quiet.

You kneeled over the pail of water and splashed your face. The water was cool. You carefully put a rag in (a piece of your own apron you had cut out with a knife) and looked over at Levi. He gave an uncertain nod.

You pulled the rag out of the water, dripping through your fingers, and held it up to his face. He flinched back at first, but carefully eased into it.

“The water feels nice, doesn’t it?”

“H…hm.”

You softly wiped the dried blood from the corners of his cracked lips. Moving the rag up his cheeks and to wipe his tired eyes. Levi leaned closer into your hand.

“…A little.” He admitted.

You moved the rag up to wash his forehead.

“Why are you a nurse?”

You paused, slowly retracting the dirtied rag. “Well, same reason everyone else does. I want to help people.”

“Soldiers?” He asked quietly. “…you want to help soldiers?”

“I want to help anyone who needs help. And right now, they need my help on the front.”

He cast his gaze downward and shook his head a little.

You lifted his pale arm. He made no effort to pull back. His skin was lined with scars, bruised yellow and purple from needles, his fingers pallid, cold and blue. Even his fingernails were bitten and dirty.

You dunked the rag again and put it to his hand.

“I… I think there are people who need this more…” He stammered.

“Are you kidding? There are mountains of bodies. There are soldiers sleeping on the ground because there’s not enough room in the medical tents.”

“I know.” He paused thoughtfully. “…Do you really think soldiers deserve to… be treated like this though?”

“Treated like what?” You frowned.

He made a small gesture to the speakeasy. The warm yellow flickering lights, the soft music playing on loop from the old fuzzy sound system. Full bottles of wine on the bar. Pillows. Blankets. The scent of wax and wood.

“I know no one else will come, why set this up for me?” He lowered his hand weakly. “I don’t even know what to… do here…”

You dropped the rag, standing up and wiping your wet hands on your apron. He looked up at you with a tense expression. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean… it….”

You take his hand, leaning over him on the bed, and put an arm over him in an embrace. “It’s okay. I know you didn’t mean it like that.”

Slowly, his other hand inched forward, before carefully putting his hand over your hair. As if you were made of glass. He ran his fingers through your locks in soft, longing fascination. Then, he sighed and put his hand over his eyes.

“I’m… not sure what to do.” He said quietly. “I don’t know how to deal with this kind of thing…”

“Just wait,” you hummed. “It will be okay.”

[lady-snowbl00d]

An "I crave you" prompt with Astarion x Y/N (f) Reader. Plot: AUish. You are a noble in court, and best friends with Astarion, but you do not know he is a vampire. You're about to find out. (Suggestive, but not explicit. And yes, there is biting involved.) One shot. Enjoy!

Note: This is not up on any other website rn. Please do not repost. <3

gif: aavalein , tenor

You were a friend of the princess. You had grown up together, playing games and sharing secrets and gossips of the royal court when you were both old enough to be interested in such matters. She was your best friend, and today was her birthday celebration.

Aside from the princess, you only really had Astarion.

Not that you didn't have many acquaintances. You were well-liked and relatively social, at least when it mattered. But to be close to someone was difficult for you. Friends? A few. Best friends? Only the princess and the noble elf, the latter of which you had met much later than her - but in spite of it, you felt close to him as if you had known him for ages.

Today, you had danced and chatted with a few people at the great brimming hall full of music and chatter. You had a few drinks, enough to make you feel brimming with the excitement of the evening, but you had stopped yourself before you could feel light headed.

Now, you were having a slice of cake, as you sat alone on one of the empty tables. You just needed a bit of a break from everything, so you quietly observed the music, the lights, the people dancing.

A chill ran up the back of your neck, the feeling of being caught in a trap crawled over you. You almost shook it off, until you heard a voice beside you.

"Enjoying your evening?"

The voice was suave and sweet, unmistakable.

"Goodness," you jumped a little, before turning back to look at him. He was so close it took you aback. "You nearly frightened me. When did you start lurking around dark corners?"

You sighed, composing yourself as he came into view and took a seat beside you. Astarion looked handsome and regal as always, this time wearing a dazzling suit of navy blue and gold.

"Lurking dark corners?" he chuckled, sitting next to you. "You make it sound so...scandalous. But to answer your question, I always do. Maybe you just hadn't noticed."

"Well that's alarming," you chided.

"I have to keep you entertained somehow, don't I?" he joked. "Now, you never did tell me how your evening was going."

"Well, for one, I have no idea where my date went."

He raised his eyebrows now, seemingly offended for you.

"How dare he..."

"Oh, it really doesn't matter much," you shrugged. "Maybe I should care, but he wasn't really too..."

Interesting, exciting, captivating. Like Astarion.

"He was boring me," you said, before taking another bite of the pastry before you. "Aside from that, the evening has been fine. What about you? Any contenders?"

Astarion was one to, after all, make the best of a good party. He would seek out a man or a woman to take home and enjoy. Today he was handsome as ever, and no doubt his plan was to have a little fun.

He smirked and looked at you, pausing before an answer. The way his red eyes darted over your body and face for the briefest moment made you feel those nerves again. He stopped at your lips, before reaching out...

"What -" You started to speak before his finger reached the corner of your mouth, wiping away some residual frosting.

"Just some sugar, darling," he smirked again. He placed his fingertip to his mouth and tasted the bit of frosting. You could not take your eyes away from the movement.

"Right," you blinked. "Thanks."

You turned away to fix your attention on the dancing. The people. The wall. The stone columns. Something. You could not find a point to fixate on.

"You were asking about contenders, yes?"

"Yes. Just making conversation," you shrugged nonchalantly.

You looked at him, and rolled your eyes a bit as you observed one of those signature cocky grins on his face. But more alarming than that, he appeared curious. You crossed your arms, feeling overheated, from chest to neck to nose and cheeks.

"You look lovely tonight," he complimented. It did nothing to help your condition.

Astarion reclined back into his chair, and waved a hand. "As for contenders, I have a few in mind...Particularly..."

He cut himself off with a sigh. His eyebrows furrowed together. He looked the way he did when he was deep in thought.

"I have to say...That's distracting," he continued.

"What?"

"Your blushing."

"I don't blush," you replied, "And if - IF - I did, it's the wine."

"Ah ah ah, It's been at least two hours since your last drink, and you didn't have many," he said, pointing a finger at you. "I know because I have been watching you all night."

You laughed, unsure whether he was joking or not.

"Do you make that a habit too? Staring at people all night?"

"Only the ones I care about," he smiled. The tone was light, but the words made you feel something... "You know, something tells me you're keeping a secret. So why don't you tell me?"

You eyed him curiously and leaned in.

"I have no secrets," you smiled.

"Liar," he accused. "Look at you."

You chucked.

"Are we not allowed to keep secrets?"

"Secrets? Between friends? Never," he drawled, making light of the situation.

You laughed.

"Well then," you dared to make an offer. "If I am going to tell you my secrets, you'll have to tell me yours."

"I'm all yours, darling," he leaned in only slightly, meeting his gaze with yours.

You hated that. The way he flirted, smiled, leaned in, reached out. It was his nature, to be sleek and playful and flirtatious, and with him you couldn't read into it. Cross that line. You didn't want to potentially lose him, your best friend, because of it.

You wanted him, badly. And if you could only have him as a friend, then so be it.

You cleared your throat.

"Alright," you say, raising your chin in false confidence and relaxing back into your seat. "Tell me a secret."

"Y/N," he laughed, "I think you know all my secrets."

"Now who's the liar?"

You took a drink of your cider and noticed a small crack in his demeanor, the narrowing of his eyes and clench of his jaw. But he recovered gracefully, an honest chuckle ruminating from his chest.

"Clever girl. Well then," he said, obviously up to the challenge. "If you insist."

He stood up suddenly.

"I can do even better than telling you a secret," he said, holding out his hand to you. His voice lowered an octave. "I can show you one."

Did you dare?

You did.

You took his hand, and together you left the grand hall unnoticed. He led you to a darkened hallway.

"Astarion, where are we-"

He was speeding rather quickly, and you hadn't even realized you still had the glass of cider in your hand when in the midst of everything, you dropped it, shattering the glass and liquid on the floor.

You cursed and stopped, letting go of him to try to pick up the bigger pieces. Fortunately, no one was around to see or hear the scene.

"You don't need to clean that, that's what the help is for," he said brazenly. "They'll take care of it."

"Some of us like to, I don't know, be mindful of others, Astarion," you whispered, "Ah-"

You sliced your index finger on a piece of glass.

"Are you alright?"

"Yes, I'm fine, it's nothing."

"Leave it."

His tone was serious. Something told you to listen to him, and you gazed up at him as you stood up.

"Fine. Now tell me, where are we going -"

You were interrupted by the surprise of him grabbing your wrist, and pulling you to him. You almost crashed into his body. He looked at your bleeding wound with a strange interest, then locked his eyes with yours.

"'Astarion?"

Something about the look on your face or the tone of your voice made him smile, but it was brief. He took both your arms then, and shoved you lightly against the stone wall.

Your arms were on either side of your head, but you didn't struggle. You trusted him...Didn't you? He towered over you, and his body had never been closer, his red eyes seemed to glow in the dark.

"Astarion," you said, trying to contain the shock in your voice, and the nerves at being so close to him, held by him. You swallowed hard. "What are you doing?"

You chuckled a bit in reaction to the shock of the situation, needing the humor he seemed to have lost.

He leaned back to look at you, then leaned in next to you and inhaled and exhaled sharply.

This was not how you had expected this night to go. You felt yourself growing heated, the pleasure you imagined he could bring out in you spreading like wildfire.

"I believe I was going to show you my secret," he said, his voice huskier than you had heard it before. "I crave you."

He kissed you softly below your ear, and squeezed ever so lightly at your wrists.

Fuck. You bit your bottom lip to bite back a moan as he kissed down to your neck now, soft, sweet, and dizzying.

"Astarion," you managed to say, then felt a tugging at your skin. His teeth were sharp as they looked. It almost hurt, a mixture of discomfort and pleasure holding you in its thrall. your hands balled up into fists.

"Would you still like me to show you?"

"Yes," you nodded. "I trust you."

Suddenly, fangs sank into flesh, the sensation a mixture of stinging pain and burning pleasure. You felt his lips on your skin as he latched on and sipped from his new chalice, a soft moan escaping him.

It was only a brief moment, a few seconds, and everything became blurry. You slipped into a darkness, a sleep deeper than any you had lived before...

[briamichellewrites]

78

2010. Bria was celebrating her twenty-ninth birthday with Mike and Dave. She and Brad quietly ended their relationship because he could not decide between her and his family. They were angry at him because he was a coward. He promised her that whatever happened, he would marry her. They helped him with packing and moving into his new home. Her only saving grace was that she had gone into remission. After several rounds of immunotherapy, she was able to destroy the remaining cancer cells.

She shared the good news on her website. Everyone was extremely ecstatic! The journey was extremely long and exhausting. There were moments when they felt they were about to bury her. No, she was too stubborn to give up! Her hair had begun to regrow, and she was gaining weight. She could walk and no longer required a wheelchair.

They decided to save it. Dave and Mike discussed moving out now that she was feeling better. They were currently going through the adoption process. They received help from a social worker with everything. They were approved for adoption and matched with a young teenager named Malia. When they met her, they realized she was only fourteen years old. Her pregnancy was discovered, and she was moved to a young mothers' home. She was raised in a home with a drug-addicted mother and several boyfriends.

Her boyfriends mistreated her sexually, physically, and emotionally. Her mother was too consumed by her drug addiction to notice what they were doing to her. She was in and out of jail on various drug-related charges. What drugs did she become addicted to? Crystal meth. She began using it when she was two years old. She frequently abandoned her at home, leaving her with no money or food.

Mike and Dave talked privately about adopting her and her baby. They consulted their social worker, who advised them on what they were doing. She had been subjected to horrific abuse, which had left her with severe mental health issues. She was diagnosed with both Complex PTSD and ADHD. She was also predisposed to developing Dissociative Identity Disorder. Her age precluded her from receiving a diagnosis. What made them decide to adopt her? They wanted to provide her with a loving home.

A home she did not have. They had more than enough money to provide for her and her baby. They recognized that it would be difficult due to her trauma, but they were determined to help her. During their visit with Malia, they asked about her thoughts on adoption. She shed happy tears and expressed her gratitude! Dave informed her of their two dogs, Misty and Growler.

They were looking for a house with a spacious backyard. What did she think? Yes! Their families wished to meet her. Jason was barred from meeting her due to his drug use. He was still living in his sober home.

When not working, he went to therapy and Narcotics Anonymous meetings. He seemed to be taking his sobriety more seriously. Muto and Donna expressed cautious optimism. They were satisfied with his progress. At the same time, they were waiting for him to relapse. He reconnected with Jack. They had a lengthy conversation about his drug addiction and how it affected their relationship. He walked away from him because he was unable to remain sober.

No, he refused to give him another chance. He did not want to be disappointed again. Jason understood and did not blame him.

"I am almost thirty years old. How the hell did that happen?" Bria inquired.

Mike said, "You grew up before our eyes."

"Oh, my God. I kind of missed the 'getting drunk and falling out of bars' stage. I feel old, even though I am still young."

“Don’t go crazy on us”, he joked.

"I just beat fucking cancer! I deserve to be a little crazy!"

He laughed. "You did not join the 27 Club."

"Oh, my God! I did not join the 27 Club. I lived longer than Gia!"

"Congratulations. How are you planning to celebrate?"

"I am getting a fucking tattoo!"

briashinoda: Welcome to my page. My name is Bria Michelle Shinoda. Here's a photo of my four-legged children. Micha, Henry, Princess, and Kate Spade. Princess wishes to remind everyone that she is the Queen of the House.

Despite considering it, she decided against getting implants. She visited a board-certified plastic surgeon for a consultation. Mike questioned why she changed her mind. She researched the procedure and the associated risks. It simply did not seem worth it. She was content with her body as it was, and she did not want to change it.

He was respectful of it. It was her body, and her choice. She was equally beautiful without them. After undergoing remission, she released her comeback single, Stronger Than A Bullet. Critics overwhelmingly praised it. She collaborated with the Violence Policy Center to develop informational awareness campaigns that included public service announcements and printed media. They hoped that as a public figure, she could use her story to encourage people to be cautious with their firearms.

Both Donna and Muto were extremely proud of her. Muto joked about being too old to understand Instagram and social media. She had to show him how to download the app and set up an account. Mike, despite being the social media expert, did not even have an account. He was interested in seeing how it worked. He and Dave agreed not to share photographs of their personal lives.

That included photos of their grandchild. During a meeting with her and the social worker, they were shown photographs of their unborn grandson. He was developing the way he was supposed to. She took prenatal vitamins and attended all of her prenatal appointments. Did she have a name yet?

"No. Not yet.I am still trying to think of one."

Dave smiled and said, "You have plenty of time to think of one."

“David Michael.”

"That is my name. David Michael Farrell."

"Oh, never mind.”

They laughed. The band was interested in learning about the adoption. Chester emphasized the importance of what they were doing for her and her unborn child. They did not even realize it. They were stopping the cycle of addiction and abuse. Because of her trauma, they knew that helping her would be the most difficult thing they had ever done. In the end, it would be worth it! They agreed.

She would hopefully be able to graduate from high school and go to college. If she chose to, of course. His parents could assist with babysitting when she needed a break while they were on tour. Mike mentioned bringing his parents over for lunch to meet her.

It would be casual, and she could retreat to one of the rooms upstairs if she felt uncomfortable. Was she going to meet Jason? No, that would be inappropriate. First, he needed to prove himself and his sobriety. They planned for her to meet Joe, Anne, and the kids later. That was to prevent her from becoming overwhelmed. Bradford thought it sounded like a great idea. They congratulated them on their new fatherhood and grandfatherhood. Thank you.

@zoeykaytesmom @feelingsofaithless @alina-dixon

[mypoisonedvine]

𝙝𝙚𝙖𝙫𝙮 𝙢𝙚𝙩𝙖𝙡 𝙡𝙤𝙫𝙚𝙧 (𝘱𝘢𝘳𝘵 𝘝𝘐𝘐 - 𝙛𝙞𝙣𝙖𝙡𝙚) || sub!bucky barnes x dominatrix!reader

(𝘱𝘢𝘳𝘵 𝘐) (𝘱𝘢𝘳𝘵 𝘐𝘐) (𝘱𝘢𝘳𝘵 𝘐𝘐𝘐) (𝘱𝘢𝘳𝘵 𝘐𝘝) (𝘱𝘢𝘳𝘵 𝘝) (𝘱𝘢𝘳𝘵 𝘝𝘐)

𝙘𝙝𝙖𝙥𝙩𝙚𝙧 𝙨𝙪𝙢𝙢𝙖𝙧𝙮 || the finale.

𝙬𝙤𝙧𝙙 𝙘𝙤𝙪𝙣𝙩 || 3.5k

𝙬𝙖𝙧𝙣𝙞𝙣𝙜𝙨 || fluff, angst, implied smut, domestic goodness, more EMOTIONS!!!

six months ago...

Bucky wrung his hands a few times before knocking on your door, feeling his heart beat a little faster when he could hear the sounds of your footsteps on the other side. He'd been dreaming of a day like this for so long— the day he finally acted on this secret obsession he had, the day he stopped fantasizing and started realizing— but all this time, part of him had never really thought he'd go through with it. I mean, there's a pretty big difference between jerking off to videos of dominant women and actually getting spanked, slapped, and choked by a dominatrix after paying her an insane amount of money per hour.

But frankly, Bucky needed a big difference from what he'd been doing. He'd been alone for a little too long, he needed someone else's touch before he lost his mind. And he knew that he needed something more substantial than a hook-up, someone who wouldn't expect him to be dominant at all. Even in a kink-less, vanilla hook-up, there’s still an onus of dominance, that’s what Bucky had realised. He’s still supposed to initiate, to guide, to be fully in control… and he hates how it feels to be in control. He’s not used to it, and it doesn’t feel right, and it just makes him sure he’ll do something wrong. So here he was, standing at your door, hoping you’d take away his freedom to do something wrong.

The latch turned and you opened it.

Fuck.

You looked great. Too great, almost overwhelming. Even better than the pictures on your website.

You looked so much softer than the women he saw whenever he searched up femdom porn (yes, that was pretty much the first thing he did once he figured out google— thankfully he had also figured out incognito mode), but your presence was twice as commanding. Your eyes scanned over him quickly and your face stayed annoyingly stoic.

You invited him in; And since then, you’d had him wrapped around your finger.

Even knowing to a certain extent what he was getting into, he could’ve never prepared for how quickly he’d fall for you. Not that he was exactly new to the feeling, but he thought guilt might eat him alive: because of course he felt awful for developing real feelings for you. You were just doing your job and he was falling into the same trap that probably every dumbass client fell into.

Or maybe they actually knew what they were doing and understood how to separate fantasy from reality. He couldn’t decide which one was worse.

He spent a few hours trying to decide while staring up at his ceiling— certainly a better way to spend the time than being social or taking care of unfinished business, right?

But leave it to you to change everything with just three words. Make me yours.

He hadn’t stopped thinking about those words— or about the way you said them— since the moment you spoke them. He hadn’t stopped changing his mind on if he could really believe you were his or not. He wanted to, more than anything; and in those brief moments he did, he felt a joy that he had no idea what to do with.

He frowned as he turned his back towards the mirror, looking over his shoulder to watch his finger run over the fading scars on his back. They’d be gone for good in less than a week, but he knew you had left plenty of permanent marks on him— just unfortunately not those that anyone else could see. He liked the way these scars looked under your fingertips much more than his; he liked everything about being in your arms.

Since you’d texted him to ask if you could have a serious talk with him soon, he worried he wouldn’t get to feel that again. In fact, nothing worried him more.

He was typically antsy as he waited for you to answer the door— he had been since that very first time so long ago— but this felt entirely different: not as jittery, but a thousand times more anxious.

At first he’d been wishing you’d answer it right away, but then he heard your bolt turn and panic landed on him like a dangling anvil dropping on a cartoon character. Suddenly the last thing he wanted was for you to open that door, to be standing there looking all perfect and shit, to smile at him and greet him and invite him in. He didn’t want it; he couldn’t take it.

But you did it all anyway, though it was obviously and immediately a new situation entirely, compared to every other time you’d done it.

You were dressed differently, still formal but definitely toned down. Nothing sexual, at least not objectively. And your smile, though it still made his heart skip a beat just like always, was noticeably softer and maybe a bit sadder.

He stepped in past you, and you surprised him by sitting next to him on the couch rather than across from him on your chair. “Do you want, like, water or anything?” you asked, breaking the silence for a moment.

“No, I’m fine,” he nodded.

Bucky had gotten pretty good at silence these past few years; it didn’t bother him, in fact he barely even noticed it. But this silence made him remember why everyone else hated silence so much: it was heavy and thick and made him overcome with the need to blurt something out. “Everyone calls me Bucky,” he finally admitted. You smiled.

“Do you want me to call you that?” you asked.

He considered your question, trying to imagine you saying it. “I… I used to think it would be better, but now I like the way you say ‘James’ too much.”

“If you thought it would be better, why did you ask me to call you James?” you pressed.

“Because I didn’t want you to know who I was.”

“I know who you are,” you informed him. “I always knew.”

He swallowed as the pit formed in his gut, glancing away to hide from your gaze. “You did a good job of… of pretending you didn’t. You never seemed scared of me.”

“Because I wasn’t. And I’m not.”

He couldn’t imagine how; but then again, if there was any truly fearless woman, he figured it would be you. “I thought you’d beat me up better if you knew what I’d done,” he admitted, almost smiling but not exactly feeling very happy. “Thought you might want… revenge.”

“Surprised that didn’t make you want to tell me.”

He laughed a bit at that. “Yeah, fair enough.”

You asked him a very different question next, one that made his throat suddenly dry: "Have you ever had something that was all your own?" you spoke gently.

"Not for a long time…" he trailed off, letting his eyes unfocus as he stared down at your floor before finding the courage to look up at you again. “Is that what you wanna be?” he asked, already wishing he hadn’t said anything in case it was too presumptuous, but you just smiled back at him in a shy sort of way.

“Something like that,” you mitigated.

His eyes darted around your face— from your eyes glancing away, to your lips that you gnawed on for a moment, to the little crease between your brows— and he found himself leaning forward before he even realized it. “Can I kiss you?” he asked quietly.

You didn’t answer, you just kissed him first; he was so relieved that you did it, too, that you took control so easily and just let him melt into your kiss. As good as it felt to submit to you, he enjoyed the new freedom he had in this moment as well— the freedom to reach up and grab your waist, to brush his hand over your hair, to tilt his head and deepen the kiss further.

It was hard to define exactly where it went from innocent to sensual to sexual, but by the time you were straddling his lap and running your fingers through his hair, it was definitely sexual.

“I want you,” you breathed against his lips.

“Have me,” he offered immediately, “I’m yours. Always was.”

He breathed in sharply when you moved your hips just right to rub up against his swelling cock through his jeans, making him grip your waist a bit harder. “Good boy,” you whispered. “You’re so good, James.”

He believed you this time, finally.

For your first real date, he took you to Coney Island. Not the classiest affair, and he promised to take you somewhere really nice next, but you didn’t mind. It was jarring to see you in casual clothes for the first time, something summer-y and light which was everything opposite to how he was used to seeing you; but he liked it, and he liked knowing a secret about you as you walked through a crowd of carnival-goers that were none the wiser.

He walked you through the fair and explained how he remembered it, showed you the few things that hadn’t changed much. He bought you a hot dog and even won you a prize at one of the games; that one where you throw a baseball and it measures your pitch speed? Yeah, it’s rigged, but he pitched lefty and it seemed to even everything out. (It’s not cheating, okay? It’s beating them at their own game, literally.)

So with a massive teddy under one arm and his waist wrapped in your other, you two walked through the winding pier, under twinkling lights and over walkways towering over the ocean below. And then you fooled around a bit on the ferris wheel. It was the ideal Coney Island experience, for sure.

Bucky didn’t have a ton of friends, per se, but he was excited for you to meet them. Meeting friends was certainly a step, though; hopefully a step you were willing to take, but he didn’t want to ask you to do it without at least having a title to introduce you with.

“I want you to be my girlfriend,” he finally told you.

“I kinda thought I already was,” you laughed.

And so, with more pride than he might have ever had for anything before, Bucky finally got to take you to meet everyone (‘everyone’ being a mix of his friends and his coworkers, who may or may not be his friends because he couldn’t always tell) and say “I want you guys to meet my girlfriend.”

Of course you were amazing with all of them; you continued that tactful “I know who you are but I’m pretending I don’t to be nice” thing that you’d started with him, and everyone seemed to appreciate it. You cracked a couple jokes, everyone laughed.

You lied about how you and Bucky met, or at least answered very strategically. Everyone at least pretended to believe you.

Afterwards, they all said something about how great you were or about how lucky he was. The only thing he ever said back was “I know.”

Now that he could kiss you without breaking any rules, he never wanted to stop. He hardly ever did, actually. He kissed you basically whenever he could get the chance; you two didn’t even go out much anymore because he wasn’t very good at keeping his hands to himself, but you weren’t exactly complaining about staying in. You were too busy kissing him back, and teasing him mercilessly while you were at it, to do that.

You had already found the fastest way to get him needy and begging, not that any way took very long. If you kissed him while you straddled his lap, wrapping your arms around him and slowly grinding against him, he lost it in minutes. And you really seemed to get a kick out of watching him lose it, just as much as always.

It made him realize that the way you looked at him before, in sessions and scenes together, was a lot less of an act than he’d assumed at the time. He just thought you were a really good actress, or that he was really whipped; and maybe the first was true, and the second was absolutely true, but regardless it had become clear that you had it almost as bad as he did from the beginning. It gave him even more respect for how well you controlled yourself, he certainly hadn’t had much self-control at the time— after all the whole ordeal was about losing control, and occasionally about trying to gain it back.

He didn’t ask you to quit your job. He didn’t want or expect you to; but you did cut down your hours, which gave the two of you more time together.

To be totally honest, part of him got a bit titillated to imagine you with your other clients. He didn’t like the idea of other men touching you, but he smirked at the thought of them begging to touch you and being denied; he liked knowing that you didn’t do with them even half of the stuff you’d done with him when he was your client.

But he wasn’t your client anymore. He was your boyfriend, and he wanted the world to know it.

six months later...

He let you struggle to reach the top shelf for a moment, just because you looked cute on your tip-toes with the tip of your tongue sticking out of the corner of your mouth, before he finally relented and helped you grab the bottle of rice wine vinegar.

“Thanks,” you smiled as he set it in the cart.

After that you let him grab everything, content to stand on the end of the cart and push you around as you reminded him what else you needed.

“We’re out of Captain Crunch!” you remembered as he passed the cereal aisle, pointing to try to get him to turn.

“Yes, and we need to stay that way,” Bucky explained sternly, “that shit is addictive. Only way to avoid it is to not have it in the house.”

You frowned but accepted that he was absolutely right, though you groaned when he took you to the refrigerated section to stock up on chicken breasts. “I swear, you would eat these for breakfast if you didn’t think I’d judge you for it,” you joked.

“What’s wrong with chicken breasts?”

“They’re just so… bland!”

“Not if you season them right,” he corrected.

“Which you don’t,” you rolled your eyes. “Come on, at least splurge on some chicken thighs. They’re basically the same but so much more flavorful.”

“Fine, but no more making fun of my cooking,” Bucky decided, placing the breasts back on the shelf and grabbing two packs of thighs instead. “I’m still adapting to 21st century sensibilities.”

“Right,” you nodded, though he caught your smile in the corner of his eye— you knew he couldn’t exactly claim to still be as conservative as he was raised to be in every way.

Like any well-planned grocery run, it ended at the frozen section where you got some fruit bars and frozen vegetables (you had this theory that frozen vegetables tasted better in fried rice than fresh ones, and so far you’d proven him right) and he got a pizza to have for dinner in a pinch. When shopping alone before, he always did self-checkout to avoid being seen anymore than he had to… he still did it with you, but he didn’t even think about who might be looking at him, because all he saw was you.

You drove for this trip, and he always felt oddly soothed by riding passenger with you at the wheel. He liked to close his eyes and lean back a bit, or occasionally look over at you (but if he did it too much you complained that he was being creepy and distracting you). It shouldn’t be too much of a surprise that he enjoyed the feeling of you taking control, considering everything, but it was one of those little ways that he hadn’t expected. He just felt so comfortable, so safe with you, and never he felt like he was a burden for asking you to take the lead when he didn’t trust himself with it. And that applied to everything— driving, cooking, speaking up in crowds, all those little things that sometimes made him anxious.

There were some things he didn’t have any trouble being dominant about, though. He was very protective of you, for example, and tended to be uptight about how late you went out for walks or where you should be going alone. And he didn’t struggle to ask you for what he wanted— he was getting a lot better at asking for help, specifically.

He used to ask you to say that you loved him, instead of just saying ‘I love you’ himself, because for some reason it was easier to make you do it first. It started as something he’d beg for in the throes of passion, fingers digging into your skin as his eyes watered (as they often did in intimate moments): please, say you love me— jus’ need to hear you say it, please? And you were always sweet about it in return, of course I love you, James, my good boy, I love you so so much. But then he’d ask you to say it whenever he felt like it— he’d come up behind you while you were reading or cooking or something and kiss the top of your head or the shell of your ear and try to act nonchalant as he asked you love me, right?

You’d laugh and roll your eyes before you answered, but it was, thankfully, always a ‘yes.’ Eventually you figured out how often you needed to say it to make him stop asking all the time, which was probably a little too often.

“I love you,” you blurted out randomly as you turned on your signal and leaned a bit to make sure it was safe to make a left— case in point.

“I love you too,” he answered back with a smile.

“I don’t mind saying it so often,” you added, “but you know that I love you even when I’m not saying it, right? I love you all the time.”

It was a simple question, probably mostly rhetorical, but it hit him harder than he expected. “Yeah, I know,” he managed to get out evenly enough that you didn’t notice he was tearing up a bit.

He put the groceries away while you took the trash out; you liked to keep the fridge pretty organized, and it was an adjustment at first, but by now Bucky had it down pat. Before you, he hadn’t even considered that the contents of a refrigerator could be aesthetically pleasing.

Dinner was leftovers in front of the TV— you two were almost done with Frasier, but after that you had ten seasons of Friends to get through. You had tried to encourage him to watch more challenging stuff— you know, True Detective, Hannibal, dark cerebral stuff with arguably more artistic merit than classic sitcoms— but Bucky had had enough darkness in his life that he didn’t need it in his fiction. Maybe he’d find the time to catch up on the last 80 years of dramas and murder mysteries after he caught up on the last 80 years of comedy.

After dinner you were going to do yoga and Bucky, not in the mood to embarrass himself with that, retired to the bedroom a bit early to read his book— he’d heard a lot about this Harry Potter guy and now that he was on the fourth book and could hardly put it down, he understood the hype. He related a bit to the unwilling war hero in its protagonist; most of the time the series enthralled him, but occasionally something would hit too deep and he’d have to put it away for a couple days. At the moment, though, he was in one of the easy parts where it was just about schoolwork and childhood antics.

He instinctively glanced at the door when he heard you open it— he wasn’t sure how long it had been time-wise, but he’d gotten through quite a few pages— but he only quickly looked up at you as you shut the door behind you, before returning his attention to the book he was reading. “So, Bucky…” you began.

“Yeah?” he mumbled.

“James.”

It wasn’t any one thing that got his attention— not just the tone of your voice or the way it got a bit deeper, not just the look you gave him, not just the way the air of the room seemed to shift all at once. It was everything about you that made his body react instantly. He shut the book and set it aside, sitting up straight to look at you expectantly.

And you seemed to notice his instinctual obedience, considering you just barely smirked at him, raising an eyebrow as he spoke his reply: “Yes, Mistress?”

[boldlyvoid]

Exploration | request

request for @spencers-dria

summary: season1/2 spencer walking in on reader while she's watching porn in their shared hotel room

warnings: virgin reader, virgin spencer, masturbation, getting caught, coming out, bi reader, first times, friends to lovers, mutual pining, oral sex (male and female receiving), spencers sensitive nipples, multiple orgasms, penetrative sex, idiots in love,

Word count: 4.7k

Read on Ao3

Spencer and Y/N have shared a hotel room for almost every case over the last 3 months, they were the best of friends on the team. Both being geniuses, both socially awkward, and mutually pining for each other without telling anyone.

Morgan thought they were having a secret relationship at first, wondering why Spencer and her would blow off the rest of the team to spend time with each other. They just liked the same things, and finally, they had a person to go with to visit their interests. They went to museums and art shows, rare film showings, food festivals, anything that the other wanted to do.

They loved each other, actually.

They worked incredibly well as a team, bouncing ideas off each other. He could remember everything he’s ever read while Y/N can remember everything she’s ever heard, two different versions of the same eidetic memory.

If Spencer said it, she would never forget it. If she wrote something down for him, it was in his brain forever. It was the best.

They knew every single thing about each other, sharing every single detail of their mutually shit childhoods and almost every single secret that they’ve ever had to keep. He knew about her issues with her family, she knew about his mom and all the bad days she had during his life. She told him in confidence that she was a virgin still while everyone else was bullying him for being one, making sure he felt normal and safe.

They were very special to each other, and that’s why they liked to share rooms while they were away on a case. It was easier to deal with what they saw, what they went through and who they were becoming during this job when they had each other.

They wrapped up yet another case in a town they didn’t belong in, slowly packing up all their things and gathering to take an SUV back to the hotel for the night. Only Spencer and Derek weren’t coming back to the hotel yet, this case had been a little tough on Derek, and Spencer was going to stay back to spend some time with him.

Giving Y/N a little while alone in the hotel to do whatever she wanted.

She changed into her PJ’s as soon as she got in, just a t-shirt and some shorts as she laid in bed with her laptop. Resting it on her left thigh, knee bent while the right leg stretched straight out. Giving her just enough room to place a hand in her pants while she scrolled through Tumblr.

It was better than any porn website sometimes, reading smut that actually got her off or seeing sensual images of actual people making love. Not supermodels and men on viagra repeating the same fake moans over and over. These were real, beautiful, women, willing to be viewed because they enjoyed it and Y/N did too.

Appreciating every single curve and freckle, all the stretch marks and scars. Pimples and razor burn, unshaved legs and real, true orgasms. It was euphoric to see people like her, people who wanted to be looked at and knew she’d be touching herself to their photos.

She had her head tossed back against the pillow, her middle finger circling lightly on her own clit as she enjoyed the moment, listening through headphones to some audio of a woman getting off as she scrolled through photos of other naked women. The image of sucking on someone's tits popping into her mind, making her moan softly.

Not noticing that the hotel door had just opened.

“Oh,” whimper quietly fell from her lips as she heard the door click. Slamming her laptop closed and pulling her hand out of her shorts. “Oh my god, you saw nothing!”

“I saw a lot actually,” Spencer managed to say, face red and mouth wide open.

“You can’t tell anyone I’m into girls, I, I” Y/N panicked, “I’ve never said that out loud before.”

Spencer sat on the edge of his bed as he faced her, “it’s okay, I like girls too…”

“Oh, I had no idea?” She teased him, laughing at how funny this whole situation is. “Seriously though, I’m so sorry I thought you’d be gone longer.”

“I should have knocked, I honestly didn’t think you were the type to, you know,” he swallowed sharply, unable to say the word masturbate even though that's what he just walked in on her doing.

She felt so unbelievably flustered, embarrassed didn’t even cover it. “I like boys too, I just find girls are better when I need to get off quickly,” she bites her lips as she is all too honest with him. It’s not like he was going to run away…

He stands then, walking towards the door, “sorry, I can go see if Derek wants to hang out if you want more time?”

“Or…” the gears start turning in her head, “you’re still a virgin too right?”

He nods softly, sure he knows where she’s going and terrified. “Would you want to just talk about what we both like and maybe, I don’t know? Experiment a little? I’ve always thought it would be easier if I really trust the first person I sleep with, I’d rather it be you than anyone else honestly.”

“You’re not joking, right? Because that would be a really mean joke,” his breathing was rigid and he was already hard at just the thought, “You’re not just saying this to get me all flustered and bully me after?”

“Spencer?” She looked at him like he just insulted her in the worst way possible, “I would never do that to you and you know that?”

He nodded shyly, putting his head down as he backed up against the door, “you really want to?”

“I do,” she nodded. “You can get comfortable and then come sit beside me? I can show you want I was looking at?”

“O-okay,” he said, grabbing his suitcase and heading towards the bathroom.

He’s in there for a while, she’s wondering if she fucked everything up and ruined the best friendship she ever had because she thought he could handle sharing yet another dream together. But then he’s coming back out, dressed in just an oversized t-shirt and his boxers, he’s holding his right elbow with his left hand as he bites his bottom lip.

He’s terrified.

She pats the bed softly, moving over so that they each have a pillow and the laptop can rest in the middle of them. “So, are you really okay with this? We don’t have to actually, we can get as far as we want before one of us backs out, okay?”

“Don’t feel obligated to go all the way with me, if you want to stop then we stop,” Spencer agreed, finally making eye contact with her and taking a deep breath.

His eyes are so soft, his hair is so cute as he tucks it behind his ears, his bottom lip is plump from all the chewing he’s been doing on it, she can’t help herself from leaning in, “I really wanted to be your first kiss.”

“You can have everything else,” he admits, swallowing as he stares back at her lips.

“Can I kiss you now?”

He’s about to nod a yes and her lips are right on his, his hands come up to cup her face as he takes it all in. He pulls back only an inch to pepper more kisses to her lips, making up for the lost time.

Y/N smiles as she pulls back more, placing her hand over top of his as he still holds her face, “what do you think you’d like in bed?”

He laughs lightly, “I don’t even know, the idea of sex with someone is typically enough to get me off.”

“I like boobs,” she admits with a smile.

He blushes even harder then, his face and neck turning a bright shade of red, “me too.”

She takes her shirt off then, nothing on underneath so he can see everything she has to offer. He’s speechless, mouth open and tongue probably dry from all the air that’s past it so far tonight, scratch that he’s not even breathing right now.

She holds them in her hands then jiggling them slightly as she shows him, “you can touch them if you want, I’m sure you wonder what they’re like?”

“I-I do,” he’s able to close his mouth and swallow again, clearing his throat and squinting softly as he tries to make eye contact with her, wanting to be as respectful as possible while she’s trying to get him to fuck her.

“Are you sure you’re okay with this?” She asks again, hiding her nipples behind her palms as she holds them close to her chest.

He nodded feverishly with a soft smile, “I’m just worried I’m going to ruin your first time.”

She gripped onto his wrists and lead them to her chest, “I said I wanted to experiment, doctor, have you ever had a 100% success rate on something before?” He shook his head while he started to play with her boobs. “Exactly, this is about learning, don’t expect me to be good at touching you right away either.”

“I could finish from just touching you, don’t sell yourself so short,” he managed to laugh then, breaking out of his shell as he felt truly comfortable with her.

“We're young, you can go twice in a row right?” She teased him again, starting to really enjoy the way he was needing at her breasts like they were balls of pizza dough.

“I’ve always wanted to kiss a woman’s breasts,” Y/N closes her eyes and explains her fantasy, “to play with the nipple in my mouth and just see what it’s like.”

Spencer pulls off his own shirt, “do I ever have a surprise for you,” another joke as he points at both of his nipples, “I’m kind of like an a cup right?”

She can’t help but swat at his arm, as she gasps at him, “don’t make fun of me!”

“I’m serious!” Spencer smacks her arm right back, “nipples are nipples, men’s are just as sensitive as women's if not more so because ours have no real purpose associated with children.”

“I guess we don’t need this then? We’re just jumping right in,” She says as she picks up the laptop and sets it on the floor beside her bed.

“Can I sit in your lap?” She asks, worried for how much contact he’s okay with this quickly.

He sits up a bit more, leaning on the headboard as he nods, “sure, just I’m… hard so…”

It makes her smile, she straddles his lap and sits more on his thighs, avoiding the friction there so that he might last a bit longer, she fully believes he can and will explode the second they make contact, and she’d be lying if she said it wasn’t also very enticingly sexy.

“You’ll tell me to stop if you need to?” She repeated the rules before leaning in, watching him nod again before she kissed the centre of his chest.

Resting her hands on his ribs, she pressed more kisses to his chest and breast bone, she ran her tongue over his left nipple and he shuddered with a whimper, “told you,” he’s able to squeak the words out.

She smiles against his skin, sucking his nipple into her mouth softly and he moans, nice and loud. “Shut up,” she whisper-yells at him, “Hotch is in the next room.”

“Sorry, fuck,” he swears, it’s a rare occasion for him to swear so it’s like music to her ears.

She kisses back up his neck until she’s under his ear, sucking the sensitive skin softly so she doesn’t leave a mark but it’s enough to make his hips rut forward. He lets his hands travel over her thighs and rest on her hips for merely a second before he’s grabbing a handful of her ass cheeks, making her laugh slightly.

“I’m ticklish on my butt,” she warns him as she sits up straighter, looking him in the eyes again only this time his iris has been devoured by lust, no longer a beautiful honey brown but a dark and inviting black.

“You never really told me what you’re into,” Spencer whispered again, actually listening and keeping his voice down.

“I like watching women because I can relate to their pleasure, when I get off to visuals of men it’s more just me finding them fascinating because I’ll never know what it’s like to stroke my own dick or what it's like to cum like that, y’know? Like I’m sure you find eating pussy fascinating because you don’t have one, there’s something alluring about the unknown,” for some reason she felt nervous as she kept rambling, almost trying to justify her attraction to both. “I also like audios, I’m sure you know why.”

“Cause you can remember it all?”

She nodded again, “it’s very easy to get off when I can hear, verbatim in my mind, some dom calling me a good girl and saying he’s going to make me a real woman,” she couldn’t help but laugh. “They’re all so bad, believe me, but there’s something about knowing someone wants me that makes me horny? I really like knowing someone might find me sexy.”

Spencer just shakes his head with a sly smile, “I’ve literally been masturbating to thoughts of you for months now.”

Butterflies erupt in her stomach then and suddenly she’s the speechless one, blinking a few times as her brain processed all the information.

“Seriously?”

He nodded, “you’re not grossed out by that?”

She shook her head mighty fiercely, “I need you to tell me what you think about when you do it, what is it about me that get’s you off?”

He bit his lip for a second, his hands roaming her body once more as she took a deep breath in anticipation, “it’s always the same, do you remember that one time you pulled me aside and fixed my belt for me?”

She couldn’t help but smirk, “oh yeah I thought about that too..”

It was one of the first cases she was on, getting to know Spencer more and more as the days passed and becoming his best friend very quickly. She had been staring at his belt all day, it was just slightly off centre and it was pissing her off to a degree that it shouldn’t.

But his tie was like an arrow, pointing towards the button and fly of his pants, only the belt buckle wasn’t centred it was to the side and his gun was too far over so it’s not like he could easily adjust it if she told him from the table they were at.

So she politely asked him to join her in the quiet staff room, “I know you think I’ve been staring at your dick all day but I promise you it’s your stupid belt pissing me off.”

She stepped into his space and moved his holster back before twisting his belt in the loops, making sure it was perfectly in the middle before flattening his tie again, taking a step back to insure it was perfect, “better.”

“Thanks?” He was so confused, and very red, clearly doing everything in his power to not get hard while she was that close to him.

“Anytime,” she smiled softly, leaving the room as quickly as possible and never bringing it up again.

“I was serious it was pissing me off,” she laughed, “but I’d be lying if I told you I didn’t go home and shove my fingers in my mouth thinking about how much better it would have been to suck you off in that tiny kitchen in the middle of Alabama.”

He lets out the most desperate whimper she’s ever heard, crawling backwards on her knees till she’s far enough from him that he can spread his legs and give her access to him, “I’ve never done this.”

“I have nothing to compare it to,” he reminded her with a soft smile, “I’m sure you’ll be the best I get.”

It made her a little sad thinking about him with anyone else and suddenly she couldn’t do it. Sitting up straight with a sad look on her face as she tried to push the feelings back down, “I can’t do this without you knowing I have a huge crush on you and I’m probably just going to fall in love with you the second we have sex.”

“Good,” he replaced all her fears with a smile, “I was scared to say I wanted you to be my first and only.”

She tugged at the band of his underwear then, he lifted his hips slightly and she was pulling them all the way off. Throwing them towards the bed that was supposed to be his before finally looking at his perfect, absolutely beautiful dick.

“Wow,” is all she could say, holding it in her hand as she looked at it. He was cut, at least 8 inches hard and a hearty girth. She had never held a penis in her hand before, mesmerized by how warm it was and the heartbeat she could feel in the prominent vein that showed on the underside.

She stroked him once, he was holding his breath so intensely as he gripped the sheets, desperate to let her look while trying not to cum so soon, no one had ever touched him before, especially not the topless girl he’s been masturbating to for months.

“It’s okay,” she reminded him, taking a second to run her tongue along the underside of his dick while he moaned again, just as loud as before. “Good thing hotch thinks I’m here by myself.”

She calms down just enough to take him in her mouth, doing what she imagined worked the best and avoiding any contact with her teeth. The mixture of the heat of her wet mouth, the contact, the fact it was her, and the fact it was happening in the first place sent him right over the edge, she’s barely able to prepare herself before he’s coming in her mouth.

It’s not as horrible as she expected, swallowing as she continues to suck him off gently. Spencer let out such a high-pitched noise he was silent now, no longer able to make sounds anyone in the hotel could hear. She pulls off with a pop before he can get too overstimulated, wiping the spit off her mouth before getting in closer again.

“Kiss me,” Spencer insists, pulling her in and sucking her tongue into his mouth.

It’s hot and wet and unexpected, he’s needy and alive and she’s desperate as hell for his touch. He grips her hips and picks her up, laying her back against the bed and pulling her shorts and underwear off, she’s unable to even think as she spreads her legs and he dives in.

Not skipping a beat he’s flattening his tongue against her spread pussy and lapping up all the evidence of just how horny he makes her. It's better than anything she has ever imagined, he sucks at her clit in just the most perfect way before flicking it back and forth with his tongue.

“Fingers,” she reminds him, breathlessly as she arches her back and tries to push herself into his mouth again.

He runs his pointer finger over her hole, circling it gently before slipping it inside, pumping in and out of her as he keeps repeating the same movements on her clit. The backs of her knees start to sweat and that all too familiar heat starts to bubble in her gut, the same one she was chasing just before he walked in on her.

“Add a second and curl it, fuck,” she had to take a breather as he listened, pumping into her without a single issue as he found her g spot, “oh god fuck, Spencer!”

He’s been reading, she knows it because so had she. She read every post about pleasure and what feels good in the hopes this would happen one day. The day someone she cared about finally helped her experience sex in the best way possible, learning together.

She cums and he didn’t stop, her legs started shaking and her breathing is rigid as he keeps going. She felt shockwave after shockwave, not sure what was her actual orgasm anymore as it all started to blur together and overwhelm her.

She reached forward for his face and physically pulled him off, hands on his cheeks as she guided him back to her mouth. Tasting each other on their tongues, it was like a dream finally having all of him the way she always dreamed.

“I’m hard again,” he breathes the words against her skin as his kisses travel down her neck, not scared in the slightest. “If you still want to?”

“Yeah, I do,” she’s just as breathless, hands roaming his back as he keeps kissing her neck. “I don’t have any condoms.”

“Fuck,” he drops his head to her shoulder. “I don’t either.”

“And we don’t have a minibar so there won't be any in here,” she lets out a deep sigh, “pass me my phone on the side table.”

He pulls back from her then and does as she asked, she opened it and dialled a number. “Hey Elle, I brought a guy back to my room and I don’t have any condoms, can you slide one under my door?” Her voice a whisper, trying to keep up the facade that she had a stranger with her.

“Who? Oh my god?” Elle tried to pry, “where’s Spencer? Derek’s with me, he dropped him off at your door?

“I don’t know? I’ve been kinda busy,” she lied, “maybe he heard us and left?”

“Poor boy’s gonna be heartbroken you’re cheatin' on him,” Elle teased, “but yeah I’ll slide a few under the door.”

“Thank you,” she rushed the words out and closed the flip phone once again. “I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay, I don’t think I’m ready for them to know I’m losing my virginity tonight. They’ll make a big deal out of it,” Spencer smiled softly, “plus it’s nice just having you to myself still, they don’t have to know what we do.”

Just then 3 individual condoms were thrown under her door, sliding across the carpet and waiting to be used. “Good luck Spence!” They heard Derek’s voice behind the door and Spencer’s face went white. “Have fun!” Elle added, both of them laughing as they returned to their separate rooms.

Spencer got up from the bed and picked up the condoms as they both tried to pretend that didn’t just happen, bringing them back to Y/N as he stood beside the bed.

“Can I do it?” He was surprised she asked, handing it to her with wide eyes as she tore the package open. “Lay down, I’ve always wanted to do this.”

He did just as she told him to as she sat in between his legs once more and carefully put the condom on the right way. Pinching the tip as she rolled it down, not nervous in the slightest, giddier that she was doing this with her best friend.

Then it was on him, and all they had to do was each other.

“What position do you want to do it in first?” Spencer asked carefully, “I know it hurts in certain angles and I wouldn’t want to hurt you the first time.”

It makes her smile, “missionary, I want to look at you.”

She lays back against the pillows instead, spreading her legs and letting him rest between them. He’s sitting on his knees, holding himself by the base of his cock as he gets in closer and closer, running the head over her clit on the way to her entrance, it feels amazing.

“Ready?” His voice is so soft, he truly cares about her and suddenly she’s feeling more emotional than horny, so she nods as she swallows down her feelings.

He starts to push in slowly, she’s still so turned on and relaxed that he slips right in almost effortlessly, “fuck,” is all he can say as he bottoms out and hovers over her.

Now face to face once again, she pulls him in for another kiss. Hot and heavy just like before, he starts to rock his hips in and out of her while they make out. He starts to get a groove and soon enough he’s really fucking her.

“Shit, Spence,” she pants into his mouth as he reaches for her clit, circling his thumb over her as he pumps in and out of her with an interesting rhythm, he’s trying his best and it’s truly amazing.

He drops his forehead to her shoulder as he keeps going, breathing deep against her skin. She wraps her legs around him, arching her back so she can take him in even deeper every single time, her nails are dug so deep into his skin that she knows he’s going to have deep red scratch marks all over his back in the morning.

Then he's kissing her neck, needing something to do with his mouth while he fucks her. Unable to speak, he sucks hickey after hickey to her collar bone and shoulder, where no one but he will know it’s there.

“I love you, sweet fucking christ I love you so much Y/N,” is what finally sends her over the edge.

That little bubble of heat bursting, sending waves of pleasure through her body to the point she feels like she’s being resuscitated, life is rushed through her body as she chants his name without a care in the world for how loud she’s being.

She grips his hair with one hand so tight he yelps, stuttering his hips and cuming with a shout into the condom. Dropping against her as they both breathe like they’ve run a marathon, mutual orgasms wearing down as he pulls out gently, making her twitch and laugh at how amazing she feels.

Delirious as ever, she wraps her arms around him and peppers a million kisses to the top of his head. “I love you too, thank you, Spencer.”

“For loving you or the sex?” He can't help but try and make her laugh again and he’s successful.

“Both, I always want both,” she admits, holding his face in her hands again so she can look at his beautiful chocolate eyes once more. “Can we be more than friends?”

He nods softly, “do you want to be my girlfriend?”

“I’ve wanted to be your girlfriend for a while,” she admits with a sweet smile, unbelievably in love with him just like she knew she would be.

He doesn’t get into the bed that was supposed to be his, instead, the two of them cleaning up for the night and slipping under the covers of her bed. Cuddled up in each other's embrace for the night, not wanting to pull apart when Spencer’s alarm finally starts to go off.

They’re both a little sore from the sex, their bodies and muscles not used to moving the way they did or the number of orgasms they had in such quick succession.

They both pack their bags and leave the hotel room together only to find Derek, Elle, JJ and Hotch waiting on the other side of the door, clapping as soon as they saw them.

Y/N lets out a deep sigh as she rolls her eyes, “yeah yeah, get it all out, me and Spencer finally got together, fuck off.”

She takes Spencer’s hand then, tugging him down the hallway towards the elevators as the rest of them laugh, huddling into the elevator as they all snickered, looking at the both of them for any evidence of the activities of the night before.

“How did you even know?” Is all Spencer can ask Derek.

“There’s 0 chance that a man Y/N ‘picked up’ wouldn’t have a condom on him, you’re the only guy I know who doesn’t have one in his wallet,” Derek explained with a proud smirk, shaking Spencer’s shoulder softly.

“Well, I do now,” he smiled to himself as he turned bright red.

always taking requests!

[eijiphoria]

𝐇𝐀𝐈𝐊𝐘𝐔𝐔 𝐁𝐎𝐘𝐒 𝐖𝐇𝐄𝐍 𝐘𝐎𝐔 𝐓𝐑𝐘 𝐓𝐇𝐄 "𝐓𝐈𝐊𝐓𝐎𝐊 𝐋𝐄𝐆𝐆𝐈𝐍𝐆𝐒" 𝐎𝐍 𝐈𝐍 𝐅𝐑𝐎𝐍𝐓 𝐎𝐅 𝐓𝐇𝐄𝐌 𝐏𝐓.𝟐

𝕴𝖓𝖈𝖑𝖚𝖉𝖊𝖘: KOZUME Kenma, OIKAWA Tooru, SUNA Rintaro, SAKUSA Kiyoomi

𝖂𝖆𝖗𝖓𝖎𝖓𝖌𝖘: implied smut?? I have no idea-

𝕬𝖚𝖙𝖍𝖔𝖗'𝖘 𝕹𝖔𝖙𝖊: PART 2 HOES (Part 1) not me wishing for oikawa's rn

˚✩ 𝐊𝐞𝐧𝐦𝐚 𝐊𝐨𝐳𝐮𝐦𝐞 | pretty gamer kenma was sitting in his room, live-streaming while his millions of followers onlooked from the other side of the screen. you were watching too, just from the other room before an evil smirk spread across your lips. you remembered you ordered some new leggings in the mail and you hadn't had the chance to wear them. so you got up from the bed and shimmied your way into them. you went back to see a text on your phone from kenma. 'could you bring me some water babe?' you walked to the kitchen and filled up a glass, walking over to his room and opened the door quietly. he didn't tear away from his screen when you placed the glass down next to him, leaving a small peck on his cheek, you turned around and began walking to the door. but not before you heard kenma, "kitten?" you turned around to see a pink hue settle on his cheeks, "yes?" "you can stay... and maybe sit on my lap... please..."

˚✩ 𝐎𝐢𝐤𝐚𝐰𝐚 𝐓𝐨𝐨𝐫𝐮 | oikawa trudged through the door, the new training schedule his team trainer put together was exhausting. he placed his stuff down on the ground softly, thinking you were asleep before he headed for the bathroom. taking a quick shower to wash all the sweat off him and to motivate himself the quicker he got out, the more time he'd spend with you. slipping into his grey sweatpants, he quietly made his way out of the bathroom, a towel around his neck to dry his wet locks. he made his way to the kitchen for a glass of water but stopped as he saw you instead, stretching your leg muscles as you were checking your phone. your back was to him, so naturally, he followed the curves of your body, stopping to rest on your 🍑. "tooru? you ok?" he looked up to see you peering over your shoulder at him, "yeah, i'm ok pretty. what are you doing?" you turned around and faced him fully, placing your hands on your hips, "getting ready to workout?" he chuckled, looking at the ground before back up at you, closing the distance, "oh? let me help"

˚✩ 𝐒𝐮𝐧𝐚 𝐑𝐢𝐧𝐭𝐚𝐫𝐨 | you were on your laptop, waiting for suna to arrive home from training. mindlessly scrolling through your social media and shopping websites due to your boredom, when you heard your phone go off, you checked the notification. 'i'm almost there' knowing that meant about 5 minutes or less, you scrambled to hide your phone between the things on the shelves. you had finished and turned back to your laptop as you heard the door open. you were leaning on the countertop, head resting in one of your palms as you heard his footsteps falter behind you. you turned around, seeing him run his hands through his hair as the corners of his lips turned up. "what?" he walked to the counter next to you, head in his hands. "your doing the tiktok challenge" he looked down at your 🍑, before turning you around and bringing you into his embrace. his hands on your hips before he let them rest on a cheek each, "and i love it"

˚✩ 𝐒𝐚𝐤𝐮𝐬𝐚 𝐊𝐢𝐲𝐨𝐨𝐦𝐢 | it was the weekend, more specifically, the day you were meant to spend with sakusa. cuddled up in a bunch of blankets running through multiple movie marathons. but instead, he was curled up at his desk in your room on a zoom call, for an 'emergency meeting' that he couldn't miss. you looked up from your phone on the bed, seeing as he had his headphones in, he wouldn't be able to hear you. you saw your folded leggings sitting on top of your freshly folded laundry and decided you wanted your share of attention. you tiptoed there, stealthily taking off his trackpants you were wearing, and putting your leggings on instead. you looked around the room, noticing that in front of his desk, there was an empty mug, probably from your late night drinks. you quietly made your way over, catching sakusa's eye as he raised an eyebrow at you, "as i was saying-" you faced your back to him and bent over, picking up the mug. standing back up, you turned to face him. "i- uh- the best solution is- uhm- excuse me" he muted himself and turned his camera off, a visible pink on his cheeks flooded to the tips of his ears. he stood from his chair, taking out his headphones as he held eye-contact with you, making his way over. "what do you think your doing brat?"

·.✧ 𝓈𝓉𝒶𝓎 𝓈𝓁𝓊𝓉𝓉𝓎 𝓂𝓎 𝓁𝑜𝓋𝑒𝓈 ✧.·

© 𝖆𝖑𝖑 𝖈𝖔𝖓𝖙𝖊𝖓𝖙 𝖇𝖊𝖑𝖔𝖓𝖌𝖘 𝖙𝖔 𝖘𝖎𝖓𝖓𝖎𝖝. 𝖉𝖔 𝖓𝖔𝖙 𝖗𝖊𝖕𝖔𝖘𝖙, 𝖙𝖗𝖆𝖓𝖘𝖑𝖆𝖙𝖊 𝖔𝖗 𝖈𝖍𝖆𝖓𝖌𝖊.

[young-dumb-and-vaccinated]

The Cult Girl (Hannibal x Female!Reader) pt. 6

Hannibal sits in on a regular conversation between y/n and her family. Y/n insists it could have gone worse.

⚠️Bigass trigger warning⚠️: Verbal abuse, emotional manipulation, blood, mention of alcohol abuse and suicide

Anna lived her life believing that she was the main character, constantly denying personhood to everyone around her. She was the romantic hero, and everyone else existed to forward her plot.

This metaphor was imperfect, however, because in all the books you'd read, the main character must overcome some kind of challenge. Nobody ever said no to Anna. Nobody ever criticized Anna. Nobody but you. So you were pigeonholed into the role of antagonist for it. You had to give her credit; growing up on the receiving end of her and Theresa's torture was a compelling villain origin story.

It was obvious that she only wanted you at her wedding to present her with an obstacle. Heaven forbid her story progress without some semblance of petty drama out of her control. She'd cornered you into a painful catch-22; you wanted vengeance, but you couldn't give her the satisfaction of having her special day ruined. What was your play? Ruin it just a little? Walk away?

These thoughts passed through your mind as you sat through the boring ceremony. You wanted to lean over and whisper everything to Hannibal, but he seemed lost in his own thoughts. The vows seemed to drag on forever. Liam's English accent grated on your ears and you wished that he would just shut the hell up.

The ceremony concluded and you hoped to skip out on the reception with a purse full of mini cannolis, but fate had other plans. In a last-minute reach for some kind of scene, the blushing bride waved you over to the head table.

"[F/N]!" Anna shouted, with a big smile across her face. "Come on!"

You fought the urge to feel endeared by this. She looked too happy to be harmful. Your guard was all the way up as you and Hannibal approached the table.

Hannibal pulled a seat out for you while you studied Anna's expression. She fixed her doe eyes on Hannibal. You knew from experience that Anna had the same powerlust as grandma and Theresa. She was just better at keeping a lid on it.

"[F/N], you remember Liam?" Anna said, her voice brimming with excitement.

"Yeah." You nodded, scooting your chair up. "Nice to see you again, Liam."

"Good to see you again, too [F/N]."

"Liam is from Birmingham." She bragged, her smile somehow growing wider.

"Alabama?" You piped up before taking a drink from your water glass.

Every time you were forced to interact with Liam, she reminded you that the man with the strong and unmistakable English accent, was in fact from England. And every time, you slipped in the Alabama comment. It was never not funny.

"Liam, Anna," you said. "This is my fiance, Dr. Hannibal Lecter."

"Many congratulations to you two." Hannibal offered.

"Dr. Lecter, thank you so much for coming." Anna returned. "And thank you for taking such good care of our precious [F/N]. I hope she's not giving you too much trouble. She was quite a handful growing up, but we made it work."

"Don't flatter yourself, you're only four years older than me." You hide your passive-aggressive jab beneath a smile. "You can't take credit for a job you didn't do."

Grandma always thought Anna's protective, borderline maternal behavior towards you was adorable. Of course, it disgusted you. You were little more than an accessory to her. A baby doll she could simulate motherhood with. But, in fairness to her, that was all you were to the adult in the house too. Monkey see, monkey do.

"So have you two set a date yet?" Grandma interrupted your thoughts, just trying to keep the tension down.

"Goodness, no." Hannibal answered. "Ours is a long-term engagement."

"Yeah." You added. "Not until I finish school."

"Well, it's not my fault you aren't expected to graduate on time." Grandma said into her wine.

You tightened your grip on your water glass. "Well, changing your major halfway through will do that."

"I'm just saying," Grandma continued. Whenever she was 'just saying' anything, you knew she was raring to stir things up. "If you had just stayed the engineering track, you wouldn't have to keep Hannibal waiting."

"Well!" Anna cut in, offended that the attention was off her for more than a minute. "Liam and I waited until after college."

"Yes, Anna," Grandma said dismissively, before turning back to you. "Y'know, Dr. Lecter here could probably tell you that psychologically speaking, women are more likely to drop out of college and become strippers when they change their majors?"

Now it was Hannibal's turn to down his entire glass of wine. "Ms. [L/N], where did you get that information?"

"Oh, it was an article I found on Facebook." Grandma answered. "I'll have [F/N] send you a link."

"Ms. [L/N]," Hannibal cleared his throat. "Are you familiar with the concept of misinformation?"

"Of course." She looked offended at the implication that she could possibly not know something.

"See, social media websites like Facebook are inundated with misinformation campaigns." Hannibal explained. "Your claim is not rooted in any psychological fact."

"Yeah, also," You cut in. You scanned the area for escape routes if your attempt to change the subject went awry. "There's a wonderful documentary about how Facebook misinformation campaigns targeted rural counties in England leading up to the Brexit vote."

"Oh, we have a funny story about Brexit." Anna interrupted, taking the bait, hook line and sinker.

Before she could recount the same boring anecdote about being at some regional chain restaurant when the vote was cast, Theresa and her husband joined the table.

"Sorry we're late," Theresa sat down. "Damage control is a twenty-four hour job. What were we talking about?"

"Misinformation." Liam said.

"Perfect timing." You muttered.

"Finally, all three of my girls are together again." Grandma threw her head back and rejoiced. "When was the last time we all got together? Just us four girls, huh?"

"Remember the day before prom, we all went out go get manicures?" Anna reminisced. "And we took pictures of us all dressed up?"

"Oh I remember." You scanned the area for any alcohol to ingest.

"Oh, this is so funny." Grandma laughed hysterically. "Dr. Lecter, did you hear this story? [F/N] went to the prom with a boy who had all along been using her to get close to Theresa! They got together that night! Dated for two whole years after that."

"I've heard an iteration of it." He said, looking over his shoulder. He flagged down a waiter who was holding a bottle of champagne. "Leave the bottle, please."

"Don't drink too much, [F/N]." Anna scolded. "Save some alcohol for the rest of us."

You made sure to maintain eye contact with her as you filled your flute to capacity. "Grandma's paying, isn't she?"

"Anna, baby," Grandma said, rubbing her temples. "It's fine. Let [F/N] drink herself silly. It's a party, right?"

"Wow," Theresa sneered. You knew exactly what she was going to say next. "Like mother, like daughter."

Everyone at the table had enough decorum to recognize that Theresa went too far. You crushed the champagne flute in your grip, letting shards of glass dig into your skin. You glared at Theresa, blood oozing from your palm and dripping onto the white tablecloth.

Wordlessly, Hannibal removed the offending glass from your hand and swaddled the affected area in a napkin. He put pressure on the cut, letting the blood absorb into the cloth.

"Is this the famed '[L/N] woman telepathy'?" Liam whispered to Anna.

"No, [F/N] is just mad because her mother was a drunk who killed herself." Anna thought she was being inconspicuous.

"This has been fun." You stand up from the table. "Really. Great way to spend a Saturday."

"[F/N], sit down..." Grandma ordered, sounding exhausted. "You know Theresa didn't mean that."

"No." You said, each syllable out of her mouth pushing you a step closer to your breaking point. "Y'know what? No. I don't have to put up with this anymore. Anna, congratulations. I hope you and Liam have many long years together."

You turned around to exit as quietly as you could, Hannibal at your side. Your grandmother, who somehow hadn't hit her daily allotted dose of confrontation, wouldn't have it.

"Dr. Lecter, tell [F/N] she's being unreasonable." Grandma pleaded.

Hannibal raised his eyebrows in genuine surprise. In his long-spanning career, he'd never once met a person as tone-deaf as Beatrice [L/N]. He kept his quiet composure as he slowly approached the table.

"Beatrice," he said, beckoning her to lean in. He whispered something into her ear that left her stunned and quaking.

You could hear your grandmother's hysterical sobs growing softer as Hannibal hurried you out.

"Keep pressure on that cut, love." He instructed, talking over the increasingly loud shouts of agony from the head table. "You'll need a few stitches."

Once you were far enough from the venue, you had to ask. "What on earth did you say to her?"

"Nothing that you don't already know." He answered, facing forward.

[isthisthingeven0n]

not so secret santa : j.w

with natalie’s help, jeff is your secret santa this year and proves to be the perfect opportunity to tell you how he feels (1.7k) 

all of my links 

requested: yes, by anon - thanks for the idea angel! warnings: none 

(everything on my blog is my own writing. if it is shared on another page or website know it hasn’t been approved me unless specified. all rights reserved. - i have to start doing this as I had some shit on my other blog with plagiarism)

DO NOT STEAL MY WORK - IT IS ALL MY OWN WRITING

“Come on, I’m not asking for much.” Jeff pleads as Natalie remains silent, scrolling through her phone. “Please, Nat.”

Glancing up from her phone, Natalie can’t ignore the puppy dog look Jeff is presenting. A heavy sigh leaves her lips as she lowers her phone. “You better have a good gift in mind, I’m not sacrificing my secret Santa just for you to fuck up.” Natalie states.

Smiling brightly, Jeff launches onto Natalie as he hugs her tightly. “Thanks, Natalie. I’ve got the perfect thing in mind.”

“I’ve got conditions to it though.” Natalie muffles through Jeff’s arms as he leans back, allowing Natalie to breathe. “You have to get her this,” Holding her phone up, Natalie watches as Jeff’s brows furrow together. “and, tell her how you feel. As I know I’m not the only one who can’t stand you tiptoeing around her anymore.”

“She’s got a point.” David chimes in as he wanders into the living room as Ilya files behind him, nodding in agreement.

“Oh come on, guys. It’s not that bad.” Jeff shrugs his shoulder, but the looks exchanged between his friends says otherwise.

“Dude, Scott was filming the other day and recorded you looking at Y/n in awe as she worked out.” Ilya comments and Jeff knows there isn’t any point denying it, he just can’t help himself when you’re around.

“She’s got a good body and strength.” Jeff comments confidently. “Besides, Y/n doesn’t see me that way, she has said plenty of times how much I mean to her as a friend.” Jeff reminds the others as his heart sinks back in his chest, remembering just last week when he went over to yours.

“What was so urgent?” Jeff asks with wide eyes as he pants lightly whilst you stand in your doorway, wearing your pyjamas as you rub your tired eyes.

“Oh, sorry,” You laugh innocently. “I didn’t mean to scare you, Jeff. I just, I needed help making Christmas cookies.”

Resting his hand against your door frame, Jeff exhales deeply. “You texted me, stating you had an emergency at 10pm, just to make Christmas cookies?”

Nodding in response, you hold your door open further. “So is that a yes you’ll help?” Your smile starts to grow as Jeff steps into your apartment, rolling the sleeves of his hoodie up.

“Where do you wanna start?” He asks, admitting defeat as you happily clap behind him, a spring in your step as you follow him into your kitchen.

“Thank you, thank you, Jeff! You’re the best, my Mom will adore these knowing they’re from her favourite of my friends.” You comment, missing the way Jeff’s smile drops for a second before standing beside him in the kitchen as you gather the ingredients, prepping your kitchen knowing the mess that is about to follow.

“I wouldn’t be so sure about that,” Taylor sings as all eyes turn to her. “I’m just saying.” Taylor holds her hands up as Ella nods in agreement.

“It’s not too late to back down from being her secret Santa, Jeff.” Natalie nudges him, but Jeff shakes his head.

“I’m not backing down and like I said, I’ve got the perfect gift.”

*

“So we’re actually organised this time?” You ask, looking around at everyone sat in David’s living room whilst David sits beside one of the many Christmas trees in his house.

Across the room, Jeff tries to remain composed as Natalie sends him a reassuring smile, knowing two of those gifts under the tree have your name on it and a confession to follow.

“For the first time, it seems so.” David chuckles as he rubs his hands together, scanning over the various presents underneath the tree. “So, how do you guys wanna do this?”

Scott rises to his feet, adorning his Santa hat as he remains dressed as Mrs Claus from recording his music video earlier today. “I’ll hand them out.” He suggests and everyone agrees.

Jeff watches as Scott hands out presents to everyone, the joy radiating in the room as Christmas songs play faintly in the background.

“And this one is for Y/n.” Scott walks over to you, handing you the soft present wrapped neatly with a ribbon and perfectly tied bow on top.

“Wow, who paid for gift wrap?” You chuckle, looking around at everyone as they remain silent, no one admitting who their secret Santa was just yet.

Watching in earnest, Jeff is distracted as he’s handed his present, quickly catching your smile as you look away from him.

“Okay, go ahead and unwrap your gifts.” David states as the sound of paper tearing fills the room and excited responses follow suit.

Yet, Jeff puts his gift to one side as he focuses on you unwrapping yours.

Ripping the paper off, you pause as you look at the gift on your lap. “What’d you get, Y/n?” Natalie asks you, a bright smile on her lips as you remain quiet.

Feeling his heart rest in his throat, Jeff takes a deep breath as you lift the hoodie out from the paper. “I, this is just,” Struggling to form words, you look around at everyone before your eyes land on Jeff. You silently mouth a thank you as tears fill your eyes.

No words are exchanged between you both as everyone continues to film for their channels and social media, slowly filing out of the room until it’s just you and Jeff sat in silence.

“I thought you might like it.” Jeff speaks up as he rests his arms on his thighs, trying to suppress his leg from shaking as you hold the hoodie in your hands, your fingers running across the fabric.

Lifting your head up, Jeff’s heart melts as tears fall from your eyes. “You did this, for me?” Your voice remains soft as Jeff nods. “But why?” Curiosity encroaches in your tone as you wipe your eyes, Jeff taking the chance to sit down beside you.

“Well, I remember that time your Mom came to visit you.” Jeff starts, remembering the day clearly despite it being months ago.

“Oh honey, I brought you something!” Your Mom exclaims as she reaches into her bag whilst Jeff busies himself in your kitchen, having come over to help you film as he knew your Mom was visiting.

“Mom, I told you I don’t need anything.” You roll your eyes playfully, just as Jeff walks into the room with three mugs.

“Thank you, dear, you’re a true gentleman.” Your Mom gushes to Jeff as he chuckles, shaking his head before sitting down in your armchair. “It’s in here somewhere,” Your Mom mutters under her breath before grabbing something and lifting it out.

“Mom, why did you bring that?” You ask, trying to conceal the fact you were beginning to get hot from embarrassment whilst Jeff watched curiously.

Holding your old teddy up, your Mom raises an eyebrow to you. “Honey, you loved this teddy, you brought it everywhere! Honestly, Jeff, she could never sleep without it!” A laugh is shared between Jeff and your Mom whilst you internally groan.

“I’m an adult Mom, I don’t need my teddy bear.” You sigh, but the sight of the ratty teddy bear does warm your heart. “But, since you brought it all this way, I guess I’ll keep it.” You reach out, taking the teddy in your hands as you keep it on your lap, the sight something Jeff hopes he’ll never forget.

“But, how?” A laugh escapes your lips as you run your index finger across the embroidery sitting on the left breast of the hoodie, an exact replica of your teddy bear down to the bowtie around its neck.

Jeff shrugs a shoulder in response. “I have connections.” He states. “And since you always steal my hoodies, I thought I’d give you one to keep and make it personal to you.” He adds, watching as you slip it on.

The sleeves hang over your hands, it clearly doesn’t fit but your smile grows. You loved Jeff’s hoodies as they felt like a warm hug from him, enveloped in his aftershave even if he wasn’t there with you.

“I just, this is the most thoughtful present anyone has ever gotten me, Jeff.” You admit as Jeff rests his hand on your cheek, wiping away the stray tears that fall as you sniff quietly.

“There’s erm, something else I got for you too.” Jeff mutters as you focus on his eyes as your hand rests on his thigh, the distance between you both minimising.

“Okay?” You chuckle under your breath.

“You have to close your eyes first if that’s alright with you.” Jeff asks as you nod, complying as you close your eyes.

Taking a steady breath, Jeff closes his eyes and leans in until his lips are on yours. It takes a moment for you to respond, and once you do, the kiss deepens as you lift your arms up, wrapping them around his neck as you lean back on the sofa, Jeff leaning over you.

Pulling away, you rest your forehead against Jeffs. “Was that the present or something you just felt like doing?” You question, rubbing your lips together as Jeff smirks.

“A bit of both.” He admits. “But I like you, Y/n, a lot. And if you’ll let me, I’d love to take you out sometime.”

“I thought you’d never ask, Jeff.” You breathe out, kissing Jeff softly as the sound of applause interrupts your moment.

Breaking apart, you look up to see all your friends stood with their phones and cameras.

"It's a Christmas miracle!” Natalie yells as Todd stands behind her, his arms around her waist. “There’s still one more present, and now I think you might actually have a use for it.” She motions to the small gift on the sofa, and Jeff reaches over for it.

Passing it to you, you unwrap it and bury your face in the sleeves of Jeff’s hoodie.

“Stay safe you guys.” David laughs whilst Natalie winks to you.

“I’m sure we’ll put them to good use.” Jeff mutters into your ear as you look up to him, quirking a brow before kissing him once more.

“Just you wait, Wittek.” You giggle. “Just you wait.”

[let-me-luve-you]

Almost a Goodbye

Tom Holland x Sister (with Sam and a little bit of Paddy)

Summary: Your brothers interrupt you before you make a life changing decision.

Warnings: attempted suicide, angst, comforting brothers, difficult talks, vulnerable reader

A/N: This is a very triggering story, so please do not read if you think you will be effected by it.

MASTERLIST

Three months. That’s how long it’s been since your family had been fully together. Tom and Harry were in the States filming for the new Spider-Man movie. They were set to return in a little over a month. Being the only Holland girl within the siblings, you were protected and worshiped by your brothers. Yes you had your fights with them, but at the end of the day, you were family and you all loved each other. Even though Tom took Harry with him all the time, Tom was actually closest with you.

Recently you had been quiet. You stayed in your room more. Only went to school and home. Everyone just thought it was school since finals were coming up. But what no one knew was all the hate you got online and in person. People kept saying how you were using your brother to try and make your life easier. Thought you were using his name to get good grades by bribing the professors. The list of things people thought about you were endless.

At first you ignored it. Especially when it was only online. Then it started to happen in person and it slowly started to get to you. You didn’t want to believe them, but the more they said it, the more you did.

After weeks of constantly looking at the hate on social media and hearing people whisper about you at school, you finally hit your breaking point. People who had been your friends stopped talking to you. You couldn’t do it anymore. You decided that morning that today would be your last day.

You skipped school. Found a quiet, isolated place in the park. You pulled out your spiral to write your final words. Writing a note to every single person in your family except Tom. That was going to be the hardest one. He would be so disappointed in you. Hate you for giving up. You couldn’t write one. At least not yet.

After walking in the house, you quietly declined the food your dad offered you. Saying you grabbed food on the way home. You went to your room and shut the door. You sat your backpack down and sat at your desk. Deciding now would be the time to write your letter to Tom.

What seemed so hard, flowed so easily. You expressed how hard it had been. How you tried to ignore it and fight. That nothing was getting better. It felt like your whole world was falling around you and trying to bury you. Tears fell on the paper. You didn’t even know you had started crying. You finished the letter with an “I’m sorry. I love you.”

You went to your bedside table and grabbed the over the counter pain pills. You sat on your bed staring at them. You didn’t realize you had been sitting there for so long until you heard Sam.

“Hey Y/N/N, I made a new dessert. Want to come try it?” Sam asked. You looked up startled. You quickly moved the pain pills to the side where Sam couldn’t see them. “You okay?”

You panicked slightly knowing you had tears still falling down your face. “Yeah. I’m fine. I’ll be down in a bit. I’m not very hungry.”

Sam moved to sit by you. “Y/N you know you can talk to me.” He said as he saw Paddy in the doorway. “What’s going on? Is it school? Friend problems?”

“You can talk to me too. I always listen.” Paddy added as he walked towards your desk to sit down. He looked at the note that still lied on your desk. “What… What is this Y/N?”

Your head snapped up to see Paddy holding the letter to Tom. You shot off the bed to grab it from him but he ducked your advance and showed it to Sam. Sam started reading it and then saw the pain pills on your bed. He teared up finally understanding what was going on.

“Y/N/N baby…” Sam said as he looked up at you. “Talk to me.”

“I.. I uh..” You stuttered. “You wouldn’t understand.”

“Make me understand.” He almost pleaded.

“I just…” You sighed as you sat on the bed. You grabbed your pillow and hugged it close. “I just can’t do it anymore. I have no friends. Everyone just talks crap about me online. I’d be doing everyone a favor if I was just gone.”

“You’re wrong.” Paddy spoke up. “I wouldn’t be able to fully function without you. You help me so much. You’re always looking out for me. Making sure I do my homework, or helping me with it. You fix me dinner when Mum, Dad, and Sam are working.”

“Paddy anyone can do that for you.” You sighed. “I’m never going to be good enough. I just want to be good enough.”

“Y/N you are the best damn thing that has happened to this family. Between us siblings, you’re the glue that keeps us going. You are the one that helps all of us.” Sam said as a tear fell down his face. “You give and give and give but you never take. Let us take care of you for once. Let us take away some of the pain you are feeling. Talk. to. us.”

“I can’t.” You whispered.

Sam sat down on your bed next to you. He wrapped you in a hug and kissed your forehead. “You can. You know why. You’re the strongest person I know.”

“Ca-… Can I just wait for Tom to come home and talk to him? I promise I won’t do anything stupid.” Sam sighed. Sam knows Tom is coming home early to surprise you, but it was still a week away.

“Tom won’t be home for a month. You know this Y/N. We can’t let you sit on something like this for that long.” Paddy said.

“How about this? Tonight we don’t talk. We just hang out and watch a movie. We can sit here and when you are ready to talk to us. We can talk.” Sam said.

“Just please don’t tell anyone. If I have to talk to you, please don’t tell mum and dad. And please please please don’t tell Tom or Harry. I don’t want them to worry. They have enough on their plates.” You begged.

“Okay, for now this is between us.” Sam lied.

“I’ll go get the popcorn, dessert, and pick out a movie for us. Meet in Sam’s room.” Paddy dictated. “Also wear your onesies I got you for Christmas last year.” You and Sam laughed at his bossiness.

The next week flew by. It was Friday afternoon and you didn’t have any classes. Your parents decided to take a small vacation to Ireland for the weekend to have time for themselves. Sam was working. Paddy was at a friends house. You sat in the living room watching tv.

He had told Tom that night after you had gone to bed. He had to get Harry to stop Tom from missing his last week of work. He tried to tell him he was watching you like a hawk and getting small bits and pieces out of you. Finally, one night you blew up. You were so angry at everything that day, that you just exploded on Sam. He finally understood.

He talked to you about deleting the social media apps from your phone and not getting on any of the websites on your computer. You easily agreed after you calmed down. Sam had noticed the difference in your attitude. He knew you still had work to do, but it was getting better.

Tom and Harry had just landed. Sam had texted when he left for work that your plan was to watch tv and movies all day since you had the house to yourself. Tom hopped into the driver seat of his car with Harry in the passenger seat. Tom dropped Harry off at home, knowing this was a conversation that needed to be had between just him and his sister.

As Tom pulled into his parents driveway, he started to get anxious. He sat there for a minute trying to gather his thoughts. He sighed as he got out of the car. He went to the back seat to get the bag of things he had bought for you. He always brings back something from each movie he films, but this time he went a little overboard when he was at your favorite shop.

He quietly walked in the front door. He walked towards the living room where he could hear the movie playing. When he peaked in, he saw you cuddling up with your favorite blanket asleep. He gently put the bag down next to your head as he sat down next to you. He pushed some of your hair behind your ear. He looked at you for a moment just to try to remember every detail he can. He almost lost you and he isn’t willing to risk wasting anymore time not embracing the moment.

“If you keep staring, I won’t grow a second head like I’ve always wanted.” You said as you started to wake up.

Tom laughed, “Just wanted to see how long it took you to wake up.”

“Well I’m awake now.” You acted annoyed as you sat up. “I really missed you Tomothy. Why are you home so early? I thought you weren’t due home until next month?” You said hugging him as you said his nickname.

“I missed you too, Goofy Goober. We wrapped early. I told everyone else and asked them not to tell you so I could surprise you.” He gave you a kiss on your head. “How have you been? How’s school?”

“Everything’s great.” You lied.

“Please don’t lie to me.” Tom sighed.

“I’m not.” Another lie.

“Sam told me.” Tom said. The color left your face as you heard what Tom said. “I’m not mad. I just want to talk about it. He also told me what you guys talked about a few nights ago. Thought it would be easier to have this conversation.” You looked away from Tom.

“I’m sorry.” You whispered. “I swear I’m getting better now. I even scheduled an appointment with a therapist. Sam doesn’t know that though. I regret what I almost did. I’m going to get better. I promise you that.” You felt tears fall from your eyes. You tried to avoid looking at Tom.

Tom put his hand under you chin and turned your head towards his. “Look at me Y/N/N.” You refused to meet his eyes. “Come on. You can do it.” You slowly lifted your eyes to his. You noticed he was tearing up.

“I’m going to be with you in this fight. This isn’t something you have to fight alone.” He whispered. “No matter what, I will be here for you. I don’t care if it is 3 am and I’m on the other side of the world. I will answer a phone call or I’ll be on the next flight out. Nothing is more important than family. Not work, not Spider-Man, not anything. You are one of the most important people in my life.”

You started to cry harder as Tom continued. “When I got that phone call, it scared the living life out of me. I was on my way to ask for sometime off when Harry stopped me. He said Sam was helping you. That if I focused, the week would fly by and I could get home to you sooner.” You smiled at him.

“I’m really glad you’re home. I’m sorry for scaring you.”

“Don’t worry about that now. Now we focus on getting you healthy and winning this battle.” Tom said wiping your tears from your cheeks.

“But I’m healthy.” You said confused.

“Mental health is just as important as physical. It’s okay to not be okay. But together and with the help from Sam, Harry, Paddy, Mum, and Dad, we are going to get you back to your normal self. Help you learn how to cope with thoughts like that.” Tom said.

“I’m trying to learn to ignore people. They don’t know me.” You said. Tom smiled.

“Exactly. And for the hate you are getting from my fans, I’ll be saying something about that. I’m not going to stand by and watch them hurt someone I love.” Tom said.

“I love you Tom. Thank you for being the best big brother.” You said wrapping him up in a big hug. “Okay time for the important question, what present did you bring me?”

“I love you too Goofy Goober.” Tom said kissing your forehead. He laughed at your last question. “It’s all in the bag right there.” He pointed at the bag that now sits by your feet. You moved to start looking through it. “Now, what movie are we watching next?”

[quirklessidiot]

Title: blood son [oneshot; filthy rich sequel]  Pairing: millionare!sakusa kiyoomi x y/n [filthy capitalist au ft. kageyama tobio as your son] Genre: major angst ahead, thriller, yandere!au-ish

Synopsis: A full circle of madness finally comes to an end.

Warnings: sexual themes, rape, yandere behaviorisms (just some obsessive and disturbing stuff), very dark themes, anxiety, trauma, depression, eating disorder, unwanted pregnancy/children (y/n hates her kid here), suicide,  gaslighting, and Y/N’s decent to madness

Notes: happy 800 due to a lot of uh people asking for a short sequel, here it is...for better understanding, please read filthy rich skskksks anyways onto the story…i cant write smut for shit sIKE also fuck men and women like this, if you see them chok’em and chunk’em in the basin.  yes tobio is ur bby boy here idk kageyama and sakusa have the same energy i just couldnt resist i swear sksks

Filthy rich // series masterlist

A moan escapes your lips when you feel the hot liquid fill your hole, your expression is tantalizing and completely erotic. Something that he can’t seem to stop looking at, your body that was now a canvas of his marks, was a reminder that no one could have you. 

You're oblivious to it all, the things he did. The things he wanted to do to you, the dark thoughts, you were like a small rabbit in the den of a large wolf. Completely trusting, completely dumb and he’s taking advantage of it.

He stuffs and fills you up with his seed so that you’ll never leave him. 

He wants to breed you.

Your belly swelling with his children.

It was definitely a dream come true.

Your eyes snap back to reality as the bus stops in front of the new town, you had moved towns earlier since the town started to become a tourist destination. The idea of staying there would be too risky despite having the alias of Kageyama Miwa. You were still in hiding and you feared to even open the news despite it being eight years since you ran away.

“Okaasan, are we going to go down now?” a small voice asks.

You turn to find his son staring right at you, it had been a cruel reminder for him to look a lot like his father. You knew that he didn’t have any part in this, he was a victim just like you but you couldn’t help but be distant and not-so affectionate.

This was his kid.

His blood.

You couldn’t help but shrivel away.

“...Okaasan will just take her duffel bag on the overhead, just wait right behind me.” You say quietly. Tobio was a good boy, he was quiet and obedient. If the circumstances had been different, you’d adore him but every time you looked at him, all you saw was his wretched father and the unnamed things he did in the name of ‘love’.

To be honest, you didn’t know what else Sakusa did aside from trying to get you pregnant and holding you back from leaving. 

You didn’t even want to try to find out. If he was willing to go through such lengths to have you stay, it was more than enough reason to run away. You held onto your child’s hands as you made your way to your new home, it was smaller than the last one but this was alright.

It was clean and livable.

Tobio stays at the side, out of your way as you begin to fix up the house. The young boy isn’t social for his age towards his peers and you should be worried yet you can’t bring yourself to be, “Okaasan’s going to go to the grocery store, would you like anything?” you ask.

“Milk.”

“Alright, just stay here okay?”

He meekly nods as you awkwardly pat his head and  tie your roughly chopped hair in a tight ponytail, over the course of eight years, time has not been kind to you. You had grown unhealthily thin, probably lost some hair due to stress, and the bags underneath your eyes due to the lack of good sleep was evident.

You tell yourself that he isn’t looking for you now.

That he probably found a new plaything but you couldn’t help but look behind your shoulder every time. You didn’t even expect to get this far away, last you heard whilst you were at the station towards the last town eight years ago, you were being searched up and down by the police all over Tokyo.

You really thought you’d be found out and you feared for the worse but the farther you went, the less news reports you saw.

They probably thought you had died.

Which was good on your part that time because you’d rather be dead in a ditch than be caught up with a man like him again.

“...-Kusa Kiyoomi is expected to marry the daughter of Akiko Corp soon…”

You tense up at the mention of the very familiar name as you pass by the appliance store, shakily you turn to the tv screen to find a video of Sakusa Kiyoomi with a woman who had the same hair color as yours. Everything around you is muted now as his cold gaze fills the tv screen, your heart is thumping quick. 

He isn’t here.

He isn’t here.

“...It’s quite the love story of the century, don’t you think? After the disappearance of Kiyoomi’s beloved eight years ago, he met her a few years back and he seems to be doing well.” The tv anchor smiles on the screen as she talks to her co-host but inside you were shaking, what did happen to your missing person report? Curiosity starts to gnaw your insides as you head to the internet café before going to the grocery store.

You didn’t have the guts to look then but after seeing that report, you pull up on the secluded part of the internet café and search up your case. Your mouth dries up, the search was still on-going much to your surprise. There was even a website dedicated to it, “...Y/N L/N might be suffering from hysteria and psychological problems, please contact us immediately when you see her.”

Your eyes narrowed at the report as you shakily cup your mouth and choke back a laugh, that bastard really had the audacity to diagnose you with that when he was the one sick to the head.

Once again, the bile on your throat starts to pile up.

It still wasn’t safe.

You’d probably live your whole life on the run.

On the run with his son that scarily resembled him, how fucking cruel.

Sakusa Kiyoomi’s eyes glaze over the small town in discontent, apparently his bride-to-be wanted to get married here and who was he to refuse? All he wanted to do was get this over with so her father can shut up.

“Kiyoomi-san.” a small dainty voice calls out, he turns to his side to find (h/c) staring right at him. Akiko Hideyo is the daughter of one of the most powerful businessmen in Tokyo, he met her at a function a few years ago.

The very first time he saw her was from behind, it was a rather scary resemblance that he had to stop himself from approaching her by calling your name yet when he started to talk to her and hear her dainty voice, he realizes that she’s not even like you at all.

She was gentle and dainty like a deer.

Albeit his little bunny was gentle when they got together sometimes, he always recalled how you were filled with spunk. How you weren’t even afraid to put him in his place and how you were all over the place but seem to look beautiful whilst doing so.

He always recalled wanting to control you yet you never seem to succumb to it.

It had been eleven years since you first met, eight years since you had disappeared without a single trace and Sakusa is stuck with some third-rate look alike for relief. Every time they fucked, it was always from behind. Hideyo thinks it’s just his preference but in reality, it was because her back had such strong resemblance to you and he’d imagine every time that it was you.

He misses the roughness, the high, the erotica. 

The only things you could provide.

It was never enough, it was only you, you, and you.

“...Have you decided what flavor you wanted? Komori-san mentioned that you liked vanilla.” his fiancé meekly says.

Hideyo was boring.

Sometimes he wonders if he’s just doing this because he has never seen someone closely resembling you, “Anything would be fine.” He replied in a clipped tone. As the car comes to a halt for a moment because of a large truck backing from a driveway, his attention shifted towards a young boy bouncing a volleyball against the pavement outside his window. There are scratches on his knee cap yet the boy had a blank look on his face, he was sort of reminded of himself when he was younger.

As he was about to look away, he sees a woman approach the young boy and bends down to his level to check the scratches.

The woman’s small figure isn’t even the least bit familiar yet his attention can’t seem to go away. He watches her tuck the strand of stray hair and he finally gets a good look and it feels like the world stops turning at how the woman scarily resembles you. Albeit the figure was smaller and the hair was another color and unevenly chopped short.

It was no mistake.

“Y/N.” He mumbles yet as he’s about to open the door, the car starts to move. Kiyoomi’s fist tightens as he uncharacteristically yells at the driver to stop the car, Hideyo jumps on the seat and before she could say anything else, the business mongrel is out of the car, running to where you stood.

Yet just like a ghost, you were gone and so was the little boy who had oddly resembled him.

These days you had even a harder time sleeping. Maybe it was because there was a little leak on the ceiling, or better yet, maybe it was because the heater wasn’t working, or maybe it was because you were at a new place which made it harder to adjust.

You sat at the side with your expense book on hand, your gaze on his son who was peacefully asleep. Tobio was growing older soon and he needed to settle down at one place for high school and college. A part of yourself ventured deep and dark in your mind, the thought of leaving him at an orphanage seemed better now.

He had a fake last name anyways, the bastard wouldn’t be able to find him. 

You’d be doing this boy a favor since you never saw him as your kid and he’d be away from his very messy world.

Your thoughts are immediately disrupted when you hear a brief knock on the door. This made you tense up, it was late, Why would there be a need for visitors? Your son is quick to be awoken by the second knock and you immediately press your hand on his mouth and while your other finger is on your lips to signal him to keep quiet.

Another knock.

Tobio looks worried, it wasn’t his first time to see an episode from you but this time, something feels different. You're shaking more and you look like you’re about to pass out any moment. “Stay quiet.” you mouth as you crawl towards the door and press your ear on it to confirm who was on the other side, too afraid to even take a peak on the window.

Silence.

The only sound that could be heard was your thumping heart, Tobio had voluntarily placed a hand on his mouth to keep himself quiet.

Another knock.

You shut your eyes tight, praying to whatever god out there for this person to leave.

“...I don’t think anyone lives here.” You hear someone say on the other side, the voice sounded so familiar but you just couldn’t pinpoint who it was, this wasn’t Sakusa for sure,  “Are you sure that the information was right?”

Silence again.

“Hm.” The person hummed, knocking again, “Well, this place seems like a dead end. The landlady said that she’s not familiar with the tenants here so we could be wrong…”

The voice started to decrease and you feel yourself slowly starting to breathe easier. Tobio slowly put down his hand and there you saw it, the fear on his eyes. You breathe in and out, calming yourself, this place isn't safe anymore, “Tobio, take your bags. We’re leaving.” you only say.

You don’t even hesitate to leave despite it being the middle of the night.

Tobio is right in front of you as you go down your small apartment and you think everything is well, you really do yet luck didn’t seem to be on your side that night.

“...Y/N?”

A dreadfully familiar voice calls out, didn’t they leave? Why? why was he here?

“O-Okaasan.” Tobio mumbles, grabbing your hand and hiding behind you.

Your head hurts, you wanted to just be selfish and leave Tobio here with this man, his father, the wretched, vile creature who had betrayed you. You wanted to run.

You didn’t feel safe.

Sakusa Kiyoomi didn’t make you feel safe.

“Y/N…” He repeats, slowly approaching you, “It’s me, bunny.”

Oh, how you hated that pet name. It sounded like you were his plaything, like you could never escape from his set-up. Before you could say anything else, he invades your personal space once again and envelopes you in a very,very tight hug.

“I’ve missed you so, so much.” He whispers on your ear and your shivering, not from pleasure but from fear, “Shh, it’s alright. I found you. It must’ve been hard to be alone out here.”

Get away.

Get away.

“Get the fuck away from me.” You yell, pushing him off of you as you stagger away from him. Tobio remains behind you, completely shaking.

“Now, Y/N-” he tries to shush you, “We should go home now, you’ve spent so much time away from me but I understand, you were probably just scared to tell me you were pregnant, right?” 

He cups the right side of your face and places a chaste kiss on your temple, tears are threatening to spill as you realize that this was all over. You couldn’t escape now, this lunatic wouldn’t let you have at it.

The soft and plush bed is completely foreign to your back, Kiyoomi had you separated from Tobio because apparently you were still too ‘unstable’. It made you mentally scoff, between the both of you, he was the unstable one.

You wondered if they started to feed the small boy lies about you, Kiyoomi definitely milked it out to the press for sure. When he had found you, not only were your friends and family in a frenzy, the media was having a field day too. He had broken off the engagement and he used your ‘mental illness’ card on them and it worked.

Another story was weaved on papers, a love that transcended through time.

You let out a low sardonic laugh.

Mental Illness, you wondered if this could be a ploy for a suicide. After all, you’d rather be face first on the pavement than stay here with a son about to be fed on lies and a crazy bastard who sleeps next to you at night.

You stare out your window, the curtains were drawn as you looked at the free birds.

How envious.

“Y/N?” Kiyoomi comes in, a food tray in hand, “It’s time for dinner.”

“I’m not hungry.”

“Y/N it’s been two days, all you ate was an apple-”

“I’m not hungry.”

“Y/N, our son-”

“He was never my son.” You harshly snapback, your voice sharp, “He’s yours through and through, a fucking incarnate of you and a curse. He’s not mine. He never will be.”

You suddenly feel the presence of the small boy behind the door and there stands his boy, staring right at your eyes yet you feel nothing for him. You never felt anything for him. The moment they placed him on your arms to nurse, there was no joy nor light.

All he brought was a painful reminder.

Kiyoomi places the tray to the side and closes the door behind him, Tobio’s blank gaze still on you, “...Those aren’t words a child is supposed to hear, Y/N. Especially ours…” he inches closer and you clench your fist tightly and he places his hand on your neck and lightly holds it. 

You aren’t scared of him anymore, the nicest thing this guy could do was kill you, really.

“Maybe we should have a girl this time, hm?” his hand trails upwards to softly caress the side of your face.

You’re immediately frozen by his sudden choice of words, no, no-

“Maybe you’ll learn to love Tobio even more when you’re pregnant with another of mine-” before he could finish what he was about to say, you raise a hand and slap him right at his face, it must’ve been hard since it left a mark, “Ah, Y/N. I didn’t know you still liked it rough-”

“D-Don’t, I-I can’t get pregnant.” You're shaking this time as you try to come up with a lie, “I-I can’t…”

“Oh?” He tilts his head, “Why not?”

“I’ll die.” You lied, “When I had Tobio I almost died, my body couldn’t handle it. T-The doctor had said that if I were to have another, I’d die…”

The lie didn’t save you that moment, really. He has become an expert at detecting your lies so instead of a reply, he harshly places his lips on yours and despite protests, he just pins you down.

He’s harsh on you that night, spilling and stuffing you with his cum, whispering that you’ll have it all and that you’d be his everything but all you could do was let a small hiccup escape your lips as you tried to hold back your cries.

‘Someone, anyone, please.’ you pleaded internally.

You don’t see Tobio until a week later, the boy has grown a tad bit chubbier and is adorned with expensive clothes. Sakusa, on the other hand, has been force-feeding you to the point where you threw up right after meals (secretly, of course) 

You sit down at the couch as your son blinks at you, “...I’m sorry.” He breaks the silence and you shut your eyes tight as you recalled the harsh words he heard last week.

“I’m sorry too, Tobio.” you could only reply because genuinely, you did feel like you went too far this time. He didn’t choose to be born, a part of you should’ve saved him the misery and left him at the orphanage that time, “Do you hate me?” you ask.

“No.”

“You should.” You say quietly, “You should hate your otosan too.”

Tobio remains quiet at your words.

“When you grow older, don’t end up like him. don’t end up like us. forget us when you have the chance.”

“Okay.”

“Promise me.”

“I promise.”

“Good and If you ever get the chance to leave, promise me that you get out and don’t look back.”

Tobio may have been eight years old that time but he knows fear when he sees it and he knows promises aren’t meant to be broken. He remembers those words well because it was the last long conversation he has with you. 

The month of December rolls by and it’s cold, you’ve given up fighting back at this point. Your glassy eyes are directed to the window, not even wanting to look down at your bulging stomach. Kiyoomi doesn’t even need to tell you twice to not leave the house, you decide upon yourself to just stay at your room on bed the whole time.

You wonder, just how high is it from up here? Would it hurt?

“Y/N?” a dreadful voice calls out.

“Hm.” 

“You haven’t gone out of our room in two months. You haven’t even seen Tobio.” Sakusa points out, you were like a obedient doll now. So lifeless, so still, you wished he’d discard you already.

“I might say something again, I don’t want to bother.” You replied truthfully, gaze still avoiding his.

The raven-haired man starts to caress your plump face, you had grown chubbier since the beginning of your pregnancy, he couldn’t be anymore happier to finally be there for you.

This was perfect.

You were finally his.

You weren’t letting go.

“...Don’t you ever regret it?” You finally ask, turning to him, your blank eyes staring at his rather deranged ones, the eyes that you once loved was now just a reminder of your resentful life.

“Which one?” He asks, inching in closer to kiss your neck, your collarbone. You let out a meek sigh as you shut your eyes and internally prayed for this to be over quickly as he removes your ribbon that held your flimsy nightgown together.

“You killed people.” You uttered, “Took my life away, don’t you regret it?”

“Why would I?”

Right, how could a monster like him have such empathy? You feel his cold fingers brush against your folds, trying to stimulate it.

Everything except your body screamed no but you were just too powerless now. You wondered, how could you even end this all? Was jumping out the window the only solution now?

“...Right...” You let out a soft painful moan as he dips his finger inside. You’re under the idea that despite this happening countless of times, you’re body would be numb to it all yet each time it happens, it pains you even more,  “You even had to kill your ex-fiancé’s father for us to get married.”

You had come to realize just how deep his obsession was, the man was willing to kill to anyone who got in the way of your ‘love’. You remembered finding out about your ex-chief one night, about how he had chopped off his fingers and left him to bleed dry in the alleyway for the rats to feast on.

You remembered when a news came up that his supposedly future-father-in-law had died in a violent explosion during breakfast time and how he was nonchalant about it.

“...It’s all for you, Y/N.” He implores as he kissed your thighs and continue to stimulate your now wet folds, “All for you, Tobio, and my new little girl.”

“You’re sick.”

“Mhm. You smell good, I should continue using the soap from awhile ago when I clean you, right?” he hummed, ignoring what you had just said as he dipped his head in and take a kitten lick on your sex. You let out a small cry as your body betrayed you.

Your prayers for today are unheard yet again.

“...Y/N, you barely come out of your room these days.” Komori exclaimed, it turns out the visitor from last time who knocked on your door was him and as much as you wanted to knock his teeth out, you decide not to because you don’t see the point in doing violence these days.

“I’m tired.”

“Yeah, pregnancy does take a toll on your body.” He nods in agreement, it seemed like this was a casual thing for him, like you just weren’t repeatedly rape or mentally abused by his cousin, “Tobio certainly takes after his father, don’t you think?”

Your blood runs cold at the mention of the little boy, you had small hope for him either ways so you didn’t exactly cared for him anymore.

“I suppose so.” 

“You’ve gotten boring these days, Y/N.” Komori plainly pointed out, “It’s a wonder how my cousin gets to stick around ya. No offense.”

“None taken.”

Komori’s eyes narrowed at your hollowed response, you were so ungrateful. Here his cousin was, treating you with such delicateness and with all the attention that the other women wanted but you looked anything but happy about it.

If this was Hideko, she’d be elated.

But no, he had to be stuck with an ungrateful pompous bitch like you.

“How high up are we, Komori-san?” you suddenly ask.

He blinks at the rather weird question, “Fifty floors.”

“Hm.” You hummed, “That certainly is high.”

Komori would regret answering that question very soon though.

When the winter dawned upon a new year and you finally snap, you decide to answer your own prayers and opt to salvage yourself from this madness and cruelty once and for all.

Sakusa Tobio is nine years old when you, his mother, six months pregnant, jumped out the bedroom window from a fifty-foot story building two months into the new year. Your face is flat on the pavement and completely unrecognizable, the last conversation you both had replays on his head like a broken record through the years and only when he’s old enough that he realizes that he was no one’s son. 

His okaasan didn’t loved him nor did he want to be associated with his father for all he did was bring pain and disgust.

The boy is eighteen, fresh out of the academy, right in front of his baby sister’s and your mausoleum. He makes it a habit to visit you both a day before your death anniversary,  not wanting to be in the same room as his father yet this year he makes an exception.

Recently, he had turned over some evidence and his own testimony about what his father had been doing. Everything, from illegal works to the people he killed to your tragic end. It’s enough to file a case and have him set to jail for life, even his fancy lawyers couldn’t defend him. 

His lips sting because his Uncle Komori had punched him in the face and called him an ungrateful bastard like you but it was alright.

It was all over.

He plans to change his name back to Kageyama Tobio (the haux name you had given him when you were on the run) right after all the fiasco, it’s a kind name and the first name you had given him, he likes to think that this was also a gift from you that time, a new beginning straying away from you and his father's cruel ties. He had also felt that it was too unkind for him to use your last name despite his grandparents' persistence (he was after all, conceived through forceful means).

And although he wanted to hate you for those words you said that time when he was eight. He couldn’t really bring himself to after hearing what you had to go through, you were a victim. He couldn’t dare imagine what his father did to you during the last few months leading to your death.

Yet, right now. It was finished.

You could rest now.

“I did it, Y/N-san.” He mumbles as he bows down. As he got older, he has also foregone the idea of calling you by the name you loathed and shriveled away from, “I got out and I didn’t look back. Thank you for everything.”

Kageyama Tobio never visits you right after again, as promised.

[fbfh]

dear baby; strawberry milkshakes - leo x reader parents au

words: 1.8k

summary: You and Leo are getting used to adulting together, when Chiron asks for your help. Next thing you know, there’s a little demigod for you two to take care of - and you’re not going to let her down.

warnings: almost boning but getting interrupted, shit is said twice, one use of fucking I think, mentions of orphanages and the foster care system, mentions of CPS, being at a CPS building, adopting a child, leo has trauma, leo and reader take in a child when you’re both 19, technically teen parents but not really, the kid has some trauma too, everyone has trauma but literally what’s new

au: sort of college + parents au

song recs: raining in new york mix - the bootleg boy (tw for some sort of sad dialogue samples), falling in love with love - bernadette peters in cinderella (1997)

a/n:  I saw a kids book called Sophia Valdez Future Prez and I know nothing about it but immediately knew I had to do a parents au where you and Leo have a daughter named sophia???????? also I accidentally gave myself baby fever whoopsie

also I was barely able to proof read this and had no brain while writing half of it so if the beginning feels rushed at all that’s why teehee

Straddling his lap, you start to take off Leo’s shirt. He tilts his head to the side as you nip at the skin gently. He moans softly, then tenses. 

"Shit!" He hisses, sitting up and pulling your shorts back up. You look at him bewildered, and he nods his head to the side, and you see a shimmery cloud that says that you have an incoming iris message from Chiron.  

"Oh shit," you echo, moving to a reasonable distance away from him, a thick throw blanket tossed gracefully across your legs and pulled up to cover your chest, and you're grateful your shirt hadn't been thrown across the room already. 

He pulls his shirt down and you toss him a throw pillow to cover his very obvious excitement. You give each other a ready as we'll ever be look and accept the call. 

"Hey Chiron… what's up?" Leo asks nonchalantly. 

"You must pardon my intrusion, dear children, I hope I'm not - er - interrupting anything.” “No, no, not at all,” you answer, hoping what you had been doing wasn’t too obvious in spite of how both of you are looking particularly flushed and deschevled, “we were just watching a movie.” 

Leo nods in agreement, and you list two different movies at the exact same time, the dark knight rises and moonstruck.

A beat passes, and you continue, “Double feature. Just finished Batman and we’re about to start Moonstruck.” 

Leo agrees. You can’t tell if Chiron is buying it, but he seems to move on relatively quickly. 

“Right. I’m afraid I must ask for your help with a rather time sensitive situation.” your brows furrow in unicen as he continues. 

He tells you about a young demigod a satyr found, not even four years old yet, but they haven’t been able to get her to camp. Apparently there were some complications, and CPS was called, now they’re looking for her parents to see if she’s going to a foster home or orphanage. If they can’t get to her before the CPS finishes processing her, she’ll be lost in the system. He’s asking older demigods and demigod families in New York, since processing time will go the fastest if the family or guardians are in-state. 

“I know it’s a lot to ask, but please consider taking her in, at least temporarily.” You and Leo share a look, hearts already hurting that life has gotten to this kid so soon. 

“I’ll give you some time to discuss this, please call me back as soon as you have an answer.” 

You agree, and the shimmery image of Chiron dissipates.

“... Oh my god,” you breathe. 

You turn to each other again, the same thing mirrored in each other's eyes. An immediate, unspoken conformation that there’s no way you can’t help this kid out passes between you. You know Leo, especially, will do whatever needs to be done to keep another orphaned demigod out of the foster system. The scope of the impact you could have on this kid’s life starts to dawn on you, and you lock eyes with Leo again, his face set in determination. 

“Estrella,” he starts, and you know what he’s going to say. 

“I know,” you confirm in agreement.

His leg is bouncing, and you lean over, grabbing a notepad and pen from the coffee table. Your mind is already racing, and you begin scribbling down a list of everything you’d need to do; get her a bed and clothes, research where she is in her developmental stages, put together a meal plan or at least some foods she’ll like - what do toddlers even eat? He starts pacing around the coffee table. 

“We gotta help this kid, we-” he cuts himself off, overwhelmed with determination. 

“We will.” you confirm, equally determined. You grab your laptop and start copying your list digitally so you can get everything organized. You stare at your reflection in the black screen while you wait for your computer to boot up. Once again, the reality of your situation hits you.

“We’re 19…” you state, in disbelief. Your mind is racing with doubts. What if you somehow make everything worse, what if you can’t handle it? He crouches next to you, placing his hand on your cheek.

“And we have a lot of love to give.” The smile in your eyes tells him that you know he’s right. You transcribe your writing, surprised that you’re okay with how fast this is all moving, and you let out another breathy laugh of disbelief. 

You go through your hastily made checklist, switching between tabs about child psychology, parenting advice, and kid’s furniture and clothes websites, strategizing with Leo on how you can pull this off, and a plan gradually comes together.

“I mean, this is a two bedroom,” he says as you look through pages of bed frames and mattresses, “we can clear out our studio and turn it into her room.” 

“And…” you add, checking yet another tab, “there’s a building nearby that rents out studio spaces and workshop areas. Ooh, and free parking.” you read on the website. It’s already late, but you send them an email anyway. Hopefully they’ll get back to you tomorrow. But for now… 

“We can get a bed tonight, but we’d have to hurry. We can probably get some pjs and maybe a stuffed animal while we’re there- toothbrush!” You exclaim, adding it to your list, “I knew I was forgetting something…”

 Leo stops pacing, and looks at you. “So… we’re doing this?” You can’t fight the smile on your face, and he already has his answer. 

“We’d better call Chiron back,” you say, excitedly bubbling out. You both enter the bathroom, and iris message chiron with mist from the shower. He answers almost immediately.

“We thought it over and…” you trail off, letting him finish.

“We want to help.” 

After changing into some presentable clothes and swinging by the store for a car seat and some other essentials (you almost forgot tooth paste this time), you’re driving with Leo to meet Chiron at the CPS office where they had Sophia - the girl Chiron told you about. You call the Ikea store not too far from your apartment, thankful you’re able to reach them before they close. You arrange to have them deliver a toddler bed to the spare bedroom in your apartment, your neighbor agreeing to let them in. Luckily, you had the presence of mind to get most of your and Leo’s stuff out of there, the corner of the living room now holding your desk and his drafting table. 

You’re still a little blurry on the details of how you’re going to get custody of this kid when you’re barely legal and have no ties to her or her family, but Chiron said he could work everything out. You assume the Mist will come in very handy. You and Leo discuss this on the way over. 

You can tell he’s worried. Knowing the horrors he went through in the foster system would be bad enough without all the demigod bullshit on top of everything. You take another deep breath. 

“This is what’s best for her,” he says matter of factly, “she needs to be with people who understand her.” You agree, and he continues, very fired up.

“She needs to be in an environment where she’s not going to be ignored and ostracized; she needs to be part of a family, not a fucking meal ticket.” 

You squeeze his leg supportively, and he takes another breath. 

“You’re right. And she’s going to get all of that.” He scoffs in agreement.

“There’s not a better place for someone like her than-”

“With someone like her.” you finish. He pulls into the parking lot and you enter, meeting Chiron in the building. Your hand holds Leo’s tightly, unsure of who’s shaking more. Chiron explains that he already had a discussion (wink wink) with the social worker, and knows that he has the perfect couple to take little Sophia in, and all you have to do is meet with her and sign some papers. 

So that brings you here, waiting outside the office door, holding each other’s trembling hands before finally entering. She doesn’t look up at you at first, until the social worker introduces you. Leo squeezes your hand, and she finally looks up, her eyes speaking a language you and Leo know. You know there is absolutely no going back from here, and you both sit down across from her. 

“Hi, you’re Sophia, right?” She looks away, clearly and understandably overwhelmed. 

“Don’t be rude, Sophia-” the social worker starts, but you cut her off. 

 “It’s okay, she didn’t do anything wrong.” you turn back to her, “You know, me and Leo have an extra bedroom at our apartment, and a kitten that I think would really like you. Do you want to come stay with us?” 

She doesn’t look back up right away, but she turns her head towards you. 

“Is it a boy or a girl?” she asks softly. How is she so precious already?

“A girl,” you reply, “named Jackhammer, because she purrs so loud.” 

She giggles, and you and Leo squeeze each other’s hands in unison.

“Really?” she asks. 

“Oh yeah,” you reply, “I’m sure she’d love to play catch the mouse with you.” She considers for a moment, then looks over at the social worker, who gives her an encouraging nod. After a moment of consideration, she replies quietly, “...Okay.” 

She hops down from her chair, and you both follow suit. The social worker hands you some papers, and you both sign. You guide her to the lobby, let Chiron know it went well and promise to update him soon, and bring her to the car. You pull out of the parking lot. 

Not long after leaving, you see a fast food place. 

“Are you guys hungry?” you ask, nudging Leo gently. 

“Yeah, I could definitely go for some fries. How bout you Sophia?” 

She nods, then asks quietly, “Can I get a milkshake?” 

Her expression is hesitant, and you get the sense she’s expecting a no. 

“Of course kiddo,” you say.

“What flavor do you want?” Leo finishes, turning to look at her. Her eyes are bright with hesitant excitement. 

“Strawberry, please.” 

After leaving the drive through, you have Leo search through your phone for any kid friendly music, and discover the only thing you have saved that’s appropriate for present company is the soundtrack to the Cinderella musical from 1997.

That’s how your little family started; driving late at night, singing along to Bernadette Peters, and drinking strawberry milkshakes.

[pinkczennie]

Male escort | Johnny (m)

Summary: After getting your heart broken, you hire a male escort to spend Christmas with you.

Pairings: male escort!Johnny x female reader

Genre: fluff, a tiny bit of angst (breakup), smut

Word count: 5k 

Warnings: mature language, explicit sexual content, fingering, protected sex

Notes: I don’t know how escorts work completely so I’m just using my imagination and assuming based on a film I was inspired by. This is my first fic in a while so I hope you guys like it! 

Tag list: @commentgirl​ 

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Great. Just great, you thought to yourself.

Today is December 19, just a few days away from Christmas. You just finished work for the day and you were counting down the days until you get to spend Christmas with your boyfriend.

That was until your boyfriend said he wanted to break up with you.

You felt your heart shattering as he broke the news to you and tears threatening to escape your eyes. Honestly, you should have seen this coming because it explains why he hasn’t been spending much time with you lately and the texts became less frequent but you just assumed he was busy. 

You walked back to your apartment that day feeling completely numb. You couldn’t believe your boyfriend of two years just broke up with you, a few days away from Christmas nonetheless. That evening, you stayed in bed crying your eyes out. Thankfully, your roommate was staying over at her boyfriend's apartment for the night, so you wailed and cried your heart out. You didn’t eat or drink anything at all and you probably would have dehydrated and starved yourself had it not been for the ping coming from your phone, signaling a text message.

You peered at your phone, a piece of you hoping it was your boyfriend messaging you to say that he’s sorry, that he made a mistake, and wanted you back.

Unfortunately, it was just your roommate.

My joy, Sooyoung <3: Hey can you open the door for me pls? I need to grab something real quick from my room but I forgot my keys at jaehyun’s apartment as he was driving me here lol

Wiping your tear-filled eyes, you got up slowly from bed with what little strength you had left and dragged your feet out of your room and to the front door without checking your appearance in the mirror first. 

You arrive at the front door and open it for your roommate to enter. 

“Hey girl, sorry about th-”

When Sooyoung and Jaehyun both got a good look at you, their eyes widened at the sight of your appearance.

There was a crumpled up tissue in your hand, your hair was a mess, and your eyes were red.

“Y/n...are you okay? What’s wrong?”

Her question triggered tears to flow out again. No, you were not okay.

“Lucas, broke up with me,” you said quietly, trying not to have a breakdown in front of the two.

“What?” Sooyoung gasps. “Oh no, y/n...come here.” 

Sooyoung engulfs you in a giant hug and you lean into her body as you silently cry into the tissue in your hands, not wanting to stain her jacket and hair with your tears.

“I’m sorry, y/n,” Jaehyun says as he places his hand on your shoulder. 

“Thanks, Jaehyun,” you croak out.   

“Do you want to talk about it?” Sooyoung asks. 

And that's how all three of you ended up in the living room. You sat on the couch with a bottle of water in your hand, which Soyoung thankfully got for you from the kitchen. Sooyoung sat by your side and Jaehyun sat by her side as you explained to the two about what happened.

“That piece of shit,” Sooyoung mutters, “I’m going to kick him in the balls if I ever see his face.”

Jaehyun rubs comforting circles around the top of Sooyoung’s hand with his thumb, trying to sooth his seething girlfriend. 

“It’s okay, Sooyoung. You don’t have to do that. He was a great boyfriend to me.” You soften as you reminisce about all the good memories you had with him during those two years, which only made your heart hurt more as you remember. 

“I’m just upset at the fact that he broke up with me so close to the holidays even though I had all these plans I made with him already. I bought us two tickets for the Christmas fair, I made prepaid reservations at a fancy restaurant, I even booked a hotel....” Your voice lowers to a whisper as you said that last part. 

“I don’t know what to do now since my flight to visit my parents won’t be until the day after Christmas because I already told them I was going to spend Christmas day with Lucas. All he could say was ‘sorry, but I don’t think I can continue with this relationship any longer’.” 

“I’m sorry, girl,” Sooyoung pats your shoulder. 

“It’s okay,” you sigh. “I guess I’ll just figure out what to do with the ticket and reservations since it looks like I’ll be spending my Christmas day here, eating ice cream and binge watching anime until my flight.” 

You’d offer it to Sooyoung and Jaehyun but you already knew they planned to go to a ski resort during Christmas, so you’ll have to find someone else who would want them.

“Is there maybe some other guy you could possibly go with?” Sooyoung suggests. 

You shake your head. “I’d rather not go with anyone I know just so it doesn’t get awkward and no one gets any strange ideas that I might be interested in them.”

Sooyoung turns to Jaehyun. “Hey, you have some single guy friends, right?”

“Yeah…” Jaehyun hesitantly nods.

“Do you have any guy friends who might be able to go with her? Like...Yuta?”

“He already went back to Japan to visit for the holidays.”

“What about Sicheng?”

“His flight to China is in three days.”

“Mark?”

“Canada.”

“Doyoung?”

“He’s recently been seeing someone.” 

Sooyoung sighs and taps her chin as she thinks of any other possible solution while you internally groan at the thought of having to spend Christmas single AND alone.

“But, if you want,” Jaehyun speaks up after a silent pause, “why don’t you hire a male escort?”

Both you and Sooyoung perk up at Jaehyun’s suggestion. 

“A male escort?” Sooyoung questions.

“Yeah. I knew one of my frat bros from college who hired a female escort. And don’t worry, escorts aren’t just for sex. You can just hire a guy as your fake boyfriend for a day just so you could have some company and your plans don’t have to go to waste. I can even ask him for the website he searched on.”

Sooyoung looks at you. “It’s just a suggestion. You don’t have to do it though.“  

Maybe it was just the loneliness that got to you, but you were honestly considering it. “I’ll keep it in mind.” 

After an hour, you felt bad for holding them up so you decided to end it there. At first, Sooyoung was hesitant to leave you alone, but you insisted because you already felt bad for making them stay for a whole hour listening to you.

“Alright then, we’re leaving now,” Sooyoung said at the door before gently squeezing your arm. “Make sure to eat something, drink some water, and shower before you go to bed tonight. And call me if you need anything, okay?”

“I will.”

And with that, the two left. 

You did as Sooyoung asked. You ate some ramen noodles because you didn’t have the stomach to eat much or cook anything, and finished a bottle of water. Then, you took a nice, warm shower, changed into a comfy pair of pajamas, and went to bed. After the rough day you had, you were able to knock out pretty quickly from exhaustion. 

------

You woke up the next day with swollen eyes, probably from all the crying last night. Instead of getting up, you just laid in bed staring at the ceiling. Your body felt heavy and you lacked any motivation to get up.

After a few minutes, you reached for your phone to check the time and any messages. It was currently 11:16 am. You received a couple of notifications since the last time you checked your phone. 

After looking through all your notifications, you decided to check Instagram. When you clicked on Lucas’s profile, your heart sank when you saw that he had already blocked you. You probably assume he already blocked your phone number and other social media accounts too. 

You were about to cry again at the thought, but then you remembered what Jaehyun said. 

A male escort.

Jaehyun sent you the website link the night before, just in case you wanted to take his suggestion. 

It took you a moment, before you said fuck it. 

You sat up from bed to retrieve your laptop on your desk beside the bed and brought it to your lap. You turned the laptop on and typed in the website link. 

Seekingescorts.com  

There were hundreds of escorts to choose from. Each of the escorts had pictures attached of what they looked like and basic information listed, such as their name, age, height, etc.

Thankfully, there were filters presented for you to narrow down the choices of escorts, such as gender preference, age window, and within a certain distance of your location. After filtering your preferences, the escorts were narrowed down to just seven people. You looked through the profiles of the available seven escorts and the third escort instantly caught your attention. 

 Name: Johnny Suh

Age: 25

Height: 6’0”

He looked extremely attractive in the photos provided, not that the other escorts weren’t attractive, but Johnny just seemed more your type.

After looking through the other escort’s profile, you knew for sure your mind was set on Johnny. You pressed on his profile, filled in the necessary information required, and clicked submit. 

Thank you for your submission. You will receive an email confirmation and a message from the escort you have chosen shortly. 

You did it. You actually hired an escort. 

A couple hours later after going about your day, you receive a text message from an unsaved number.

Hello, this is Johnny Suh. Thank you for hiring me as your escort on December 25 from 1pm to 11pm. I have read through the information you have given me and look forward to spending my time with you. Please let me know where you would like for us to meet and any other information I should know. 

After reading through his message, you reply back to him with the meeting location.  

There wasn’t any other communication sent between you two after that, other than a I’ll see you at 1pm, so you just counted down the days left until you would be spending Christmas with Johnny.

-----

Today is December 25. 

You looked at your phone. It was currently 12:58pm, two minutes before the time you were supposed to meet Johnny. 

You had a light layer of makeup on and dressed as nice and warm as possible because it was pretty cold today. Your heart pounded from nervousness as you thought of all the possible scenarios as to how the day will unfold while making your way to the designated meeting point that you and Johnny agreed on. Once you arrived, you stood there and stared at the people passing by as you waited for Johnny to arrive. 

As you stared at the people passing by, you suddenly began to hesitate, feeling dumb for hiring a male escort to pretend to be your boyfriend so you can spend your plans with someone that were originally supposed to be spent with your now ex-boyfriend.

What am I doing? You thought to yourself. This is stupid, I can’t believe I’m doing this. This was such a selfish and impulsive decision just because I didn’t want to be alone on Christmas. I should have just stayed home, not go out with some male escort I don’t even-

“Y/n?” 

You turn around at the mention of your name. 

Whoa. 

You stare up at the man that just called your name and you were absolutely speechless. 

Johnny looked just like in his photos, maybe even better in person. He could even pass off as a model. His hair was nicely styled and he was dressed in a long, beige coat, and black jeans. He was tall, had a sharp jawline, and the most mesmerizing eyes that you were slowly getting lost in. There were no words to describe this man other than absolutely stunning. 

“Are you y/n l/n?” Johnny asks, snapping you back into reality.

“Y-yes,” you stutter. 

“Hi, I’m Johnny.” He extends his hand out for you to shake with a gentle smile on his face. “It’s nice to meet you.”

“Nice to meet you too.” You shake his hand. 

“You look really pretty today, y/n.”

You blush at the compliment. “Thank you. You look really good too.”

“Thanks,” he smiles. “Are you excited for today?” 

“Yeah. A little nervous as well,” you honestly confess. “I’ve never hired an escort before so I don’t know what I’m supposed to do.”

“Whatever you want to do, just let me know and I will happily do so. Also, if anything I do makes you feel uncomfortable, tell me and I will stop. My goal for today is to be the best boyfriend for you. Alright?” 

You nod, feeling a little less nervous at how easygoing he seems.

“What are we doing first today, my love?” he asks before taking one of your hands in his and presses a kiss to the top of your hands.

You swoon at his gesture before quickly pulling out the two tickets to the fair from your pocket and presenting it to him. 

Johnny looks at the pieces of paper in your hands. “The Christmas fair first? Alrighty then, let’s go!” 

And thus your day began with Johnny at the fair. You two played games, rode on the rides, and ate fried food together. For hours, it was just filled with fun and laughter. 

There were quite a few people, so Johnny would hold your hand to keep you by his side whenever you two would walk by a large crowd, making sure no one strays away from each other. 

For a second, it didn’t even feel like you were with an escort because Johnny was such a natural at playing the boyfriend role that there was never an awkward moment with him. It genuinely seemed like you two were just a couple going on a date to anybody looking. 

If Johnny was made of something, it would be boyfriend material. He was handsome, treated you like a princess, and a great conversationalist so there was never any awkward silence.

At around 5:30pm, it was time to leave the fair because you had a prepaid dinner reservation at 6pm. 

The restaurant was dimly lit and there was a pianist softly playing classical music at the back.

A waiter from the restaurant arrived to escort you both to your reserved table in the middle of the room. The table was surrounded by lit candles, roses, expensive silverware, and a bottle of wine. 

Johnny, like the gentleman he is, pulls your chair out for you to sit and pushes the chair back to the table after you sit down before he takes his seat. The waiter opens the wine bottle and pours both of you a drink. You both clink glasses and enjoy your meals while chatting throughout the dinner.

After dinner, the fancy restaurant was in the same building as the hotel you booked, so you checked in and then headed to the elevators up eight stories to your hotel room.

You both look around the nice hotel room in awe. There was a nice view of the city lights by the window, a single king-sized bed, and a large bathroom by the door.

There were a basket of flowers and a card that sat on the table. You went over to read the card and your heart clenches.

Welcome to the SME Hotel, y/n and Lucas. 

You forgot to call the hotel ahead of time to get his name removed or changed. 

You were so distracted by the card that you didn’t even notice Johnny looking over your shoulder, peering at the card in your hand that has your attention. He reads the card and notices the male name, ‘Lucas’, written after yours. Then, Johnny looks at you and notices your sad eyes.

Johnny walks in front of you and gently cups your face, grabbing your attention as he brings your face up to look at him.

“Is something wrong, my love?” he asks.

You look away from his gaze with a shake of your head. “Nothing’s wrong."

“Are you sure? Because you looked really upset reading that card. You can tell me if anything’s wrong.”

You stay quiet for a moment before you release a sigh.

“I was supposed to spend Christmas with my boyfriend. Well...ex-boyfriend now,” you explain. “He broke up with me a few days ago, even though we had all these plans together. I guess I just got a little upset when I saw his name on this card because I’m suddenly reminded that we’re no longer together.”

Johnny softens at your story and strokes your cheeks with his thumbs. “I’m sorry he did that to you. I know it hurts right now, but just know that the pain will slowly go away with time, and you will find someone new again.”

You nod with a sad smile. 

“But for today, you’re mine. So I don’t want you to be thinking about another man in front of me or I’ll get jealous.” 

You know Johnny is just playing the character of your boyfriend, but you couldn’t help but feel your heart skip a beat at his words. 

He takes the welcome card from your hand and places it back, face down, on the table.

“Come here.” He brings you into his warm embrace. You softly smile at his comforting gesture and hug him back.  

You both just stand there while hugging each other until an idea suddenly pops up into his head. “Hey, let’s get your mind off of him for a moment.” 

You look up at him with a raised eyebrow and tilt your head to the side at his words. 

Then, Johnny takes out his phone and clicks on the Spotify app. Suddenly, Taylor Swift featuring Shawn Mendes’s Lover plays. He turns the volume up to the highest setting before placing his phone on the table. Then, he turns to you and brings his hands out.

“Dance with me.” 

You stare at him for a second before looking down at his extended hands and slowly take his hands. 

We could leave the Christmas lights up ‘til January. This is our place we make the rules.

The dance began playful, filled with giggles and laughter as Johnny spun you around, doing elegant twirls. 

Can I go where you go? Can we always be this close? Forever and ever. 

As the song progresses, Johnny brings your head to rest against his head and you melt into his body. His arms wrap around your back and your arms wrap around him. You both close your eyes and silently listen to the song while your bodies slowly sway to the music.

See I finally got you now, honey. I won’t let you fall.

There was nothing on your mind right now except Johnny and the feeling of his body against yours and the steady beating of his heart against his chest. 

Oh, you’re my, my, my, my. Darling, you’re my, my, my, my lover. 

The music ends. 

You remove yourself from Johnny’s body to look up at him who was already staring down at you with a tender gaze. For a moment, you were both just lost in each other's eyes. Slowly, your eyes went from his eyes to his lips. 

You gulp. The longer you stared, the more you thought about leaning in to kiss his plump lips. Is it wrong to have such a strong desire to kiss another man a few days after getting dumped? 

“What are you thinking about right now?” he asks, his voice one octave lower, making you feel some type of way. 

“How much I want to kiss you,” you confess. You don’t know where this newfound confidence to say that sentence out loud came from, but knowing that you probably won’t be getting another opportunity like this any time soon, you threw all care out the window. 

Johnny leans in dangerously close with a smirk on his face. “Then do it.”

No one knows who leaned in first, but the next thing you know is that you’re both kissing each other. 

The kiss starts off gentle, like two lovers kissing each other for the first time again. Then, the kiss became more intense as Johnny’s arms wrap around your waist to pull you closer into his body and your arms cling onto Johnny’s shoulders.

Eventually, you both part ways to gasp for air without letting go of each other. You look up at Johnny with eyes full of lust and his eyes are just as dark as yours. The sexual tension was lingering in the air and you couldn’t take it anymore. You feel wetness pool in your underwear that you could no longer ignore and you desperately want him to do something about it.

“Johnny…” you breath out.

“Do you want to…” He didn’t finish his sentence but you already know where this is going.

“Are you sure? You’re not obligated to just because you’re-”

“You’re not forcing me to do anything. I want to do this,” he states. “Do you?”

You search his eyes for a bit before you reply, “Yes. I want you too.”

The verbal consent was enough for him to dive back in for another kiss. You wrap your arms around Johnny’s neck as you feel him lift you up with his arms and make his way over to the bed where he gently places you on your back without breaking the kiss. 

You shiver as Johnny stops kissing you and begins sucking open mouth kisses on your neck, but not leaving any marks in case you didn’t want any visible hickies on your skin.

He removes all your clothes, so you were completely bare in front of him. You become shy as Johnny’s large figure looms over you, his hungry eyes raking over your exposed body while he’s still fully clothed.

Johnny brings his face right in front of your chest and cups your soft mounds. A moan escapes your lips as he suddenly takes one of your erect nipples into his mouth and pinches the other one in between his fingers. As he continues to suck on your bud, you feel something poking your thigh, so your hand palms his erection and he shudders at the contact.

After a while, he removes himself from your breasts and starts taking his clothes off but keeps his pants on. 

You couldn’t help but stare at the sight in front of you because Johnny was built like a Greek god, sculpted by the finest artists. 

“Like what you see?” he smirks.

You nod. You weren’t even going to deny it and he chuckles at your honesty.

He brings two of his fingers to your awaiting entrance and you shudder.

“God, you’re fucking soaked,” he whispers into your ears. His sultry voice and fingers rubbing against your folds just made you even more wet.

He slowly pushes his two fingers inside of you and you bite back a moan. Oh god. 

“Let me hear you,” he says as he nibbles on your earlobe. “I want to know that I make you feel good.”

Johnny slowly thrusts his digits in and out of you as you release your moans that you could no longer hold in for him to hear. 

Once he thought that you were ready, he added a third finger and you grip the bedsheet from the additional intrusion.  

“Johnny,” you gasp as he brushes against your walls and hits that one spot that causes your body to arch against the bed.

“Right there,” you chant so he continues to rub against that spot.

You could already feel your orgasm starting to approach as your breathing becomes harsh and your wall clenches around his fingers as the pleasure continues to build up in your body.

You usually last longer than this, but something about doing this with Johnny, a somewhat stranger to you, an attractive stranger might you add, made it so much more thrilling. 

“I’m going to cum,” you warn him.

“Go ahead. Cum for me.” 

After a few more thrusts, you cry out in bliss and release all over his fingers. You pant heavily as you quickly try to recover, knowing that there was more to come. 

As you try to recover, Johnny finally removes his pants and boxers, allowing his cock to spring forward. You look down and your eyes widen at the sight of his erection. Holy shit, he’s huge. 

As you continue to stare, he reaches for the condom in the bedside table drawer he found while looking around the room earlier and rips the plastic open. 

He was able to get hard from kissing and fingering you, so he easily puts the condom onto his dick without any additional stimulation and positions his length in front of your entrance.

“Are you ready?” he asks.

Your heart was pounding, wondering if he’ll even fit inside of you. But regardless, you still nod. 

Johnny slowly enters you and you gasp at the pain and the pleasure. It felt like he was ripping you in half, even after being stretched open with three fingers.

“Shit, you’re still tight,” he hisses as he continues to enter you.

“Too big,” you whimper as your nails dig into the mattress. 

“I’ll go slow.” He kisses your forehead to distract you from the pain and continues to slowly enter you, just as promised. Once he is fully inside you, he waits patiently for you to adjust to his size. “Let me know when I can move.”

After adjusting to his size, you tell Johnny that he can move. 

He begins his thrusts slow just in case it was still too much for you. He was so gentle with you as if you were going to break. You were still slightly overstimulated from being fingered earlier, but you didn’t care and allowed Johnny to thrust inside you. 

"Faster,” you plead and he does as you request. You moan his name, along with a string of curses, as he begins to pick up the pace. 

The room was filled with nothing but the sounds of loud panting, skin slapping against skin, and the bed creaking as Johnny pounds into you. Hopefully, the hotel walls are thick because the people staying in the rooms next door or even passing by would surely be able to hear everything.

It didn’t take long for your second orgasm to approach again and he could feel it too as your walls clench around his length. 

“I’m going to cum again,” you announce.

“Fuck, me too. You feel so good, baby.” Johnny begins to groan and his thrusts become less accurate, signaling that he was close too.

Your toes curl and your back is arching off the bed as you come around his cock. With one last thrust, he groans and releases his seeds into the condom. 

Both of you just stay in your current positions, chest heaving as you both try to come down from your highs. After a minute, Johnny slowly pulls himself out of you and gets up from the bed to make his way to the bathroom. He removes the cum filled condom, ties it up, and tosses it into the trash can. Then, he returns to the bed and plants a kiss on your cheek before wrapping his arms around your body in a warm embrace. 

For the remainder of the time left, you and Johnny just cuddled naked under the blanket until your time with him was up. 

“What did you think of everything?” Johnny asks.

“Are you referring to the date or the sex?” You tease.

Johnny laughs, “The date, you pervert. But yes, I’d like to know how the sex was too.”

Seeing his laughing face brought a satisfied smile to your lips. “I had a really good time today. And the sex? Wow.” 

“I’m glad.” Johnny returns a smile and he brushes a stray hair of yours away from your face. “I had a good time today too.” 

There was a comforting silence before you hesitantly ask, “Do you do it with all your clients?” 

“Not all of them. We have the right to say no,” he replies. “And don’t worry, I always do it protected and get tested regularly just in case.”

A few minutes before 11pm, you both start putting your clothes back on because it was almost time for Johnny’s departure. You were quite sad the day is already over, but today has been such an eventful day. 

Even though you knew Johnny was just a male escort only meant to comfort you by spending the day with you so you wouldn't be alone during Christmas, you were going to feel empty once again. But you were still happy nonetheless. Johnny made you feel so loved, even if it was just temporary. You were so glad to have met Johnny because this will be a Christmas worth remembering for sure. 

You walk him to the door once 11pm hits. 

“Thank you for today, Johnny,” you smile up at him. 

He returns the smile back, “It was my pleasure.” 

Johnny leans down and presses a gentle kiss on your forehead. You just couldn’t get enough of his kisses. 

“Goodnight, y/n. Merry Christmas.”

“Goodnight, Johnny. Merry Christmas.”

And with that, he turns around and walks away from your hotel room and heads to the elevator. You wait until you are no longer able to see Johnny before retreating back into your room and shutting the door behind you.

A loud sigh escapes your lips as you stare at the empty hotel room as memories of your day with Johnny flooded your mind. This day didn’t turn out like you expected it to, but it was way better than what you could have hoped for. 

You were definitely going to have to thank Jaehyun later. 

The loneliness begins to settle in again, so you grab your phone from the bedside table and begin to type a text message to someone, then hit send. 

You: Can I see you again on New Years? 

[old-hyper-super-clover]

Secret Santa Event,

Day 7

This little story belongs to my Christmas project, a series of stories leading up to Christmas Eve! Check my Event Masterlist for more information, and have fun!

A/N: might contain interactions with my MCs Clover and/or Violet (no spoilers ofc), but you don't have to know them to understand the story!

Click, click-click, click.

"Uggghhhh..."

Click-click-click.

"Nooo..."

Click-click, click-click.

"That's not it either...!!"

Click, click-click...

Thud.

Levi's head landed harshly on his desk.

"Damn it..."

Only to shoot up in great agony a second after.

"Why can't I come up with anything good?!"

------

Somebody knocked on the door to Leviathan's room.

"Hey! Wassup! My man!"

"What's the passwo-"

Mammon stepped inside, throwing himself on the giant cushion before Levi could even word his shock.

"Mamm-?! You-!? I have a password for a reason!!"

From the corner of his eyes, he saw how another face was peeking inside as well.

"Uhm..." She gave an awkward mumble.

Levi rolled his eyes in a sigh. "You may enter."

So Clover stepped inside."Levia-tan!" she cheered.

"We're bored" Mammon groaned.

The avatar of Envy pulled a frown. "I don't care how you feel, scumbag."

"Eh?! You should pay me some more respect, y'know?! I'm your elder brother, so it's your duty to entertain me when I'm bored."

While talking, Mammon kept touching Levi's stuff around him, picking up the Azuki-tan plushie, squishing it carelessly. Levi watched, his eye twitching as he hold back the urge to choke Mammon to death.

"We wanted to play some board games" Clover explained softly. "Wanna come play too?"

Levi's expression turned conflicted. A little sad, even. Clover noticed immediately, and her gaze drifted over to his monitors.

About five gaming websites, as well as an anime streaming service were opened around a big list with lots of game and anime titles written on it.

"I'm not in the mood for social interaction" was Levi's response, and he wanted to turn to his computer again.

"'Sleep Simulator 6.66'? 'I overslept 69 years of my life so please help me stay awake, senpai!!'? 'Fuwa-fuwa magical sweet dreams island'?", Clover read a few of the titles listed, obviously confused.

Now Mammon was trying to sneak a peek as well.

"Yo, Levi, you have problems with sleeping?", Mammon asked.

"N-no..." Levi hushed. Stressed, he began closing the tabs on his screens. But Mammon had already went up to him as well, mustering the scene with Clover, both wearing confused expressions.

So Levi panicked.

"I-I don't want to play with you and don't want to talk to you so go away, I'm busy!!", Levi blurted out, quickly turning his monitors off completely.

He wouldn't spare them another second of attention, instead he stared at the black screen. Clover and Mammon exchanged a worried glance.

"... If there is anything you need help with, feel free to text us anytime, yes?", the girl mumbled.

"You can't help me", Levi hissed. "... I'm too pathetic to be helped...", he added after realising his own harsh tone.

Mammon raised an eyebrow. "You're being an idiot again."

"I don't want to hear that from YOU, Mammon..."

Of course, the avatar of Greed threw a fuss over that, going on about he wasn't the one having apparent sleep problems, some that Mammon put off as consequences of Levi's Otaku lifestyle.

But while the brothers were fighting, Clover's face grew more concerned.

She knew a lot of the titles she was able to read on the list, meaning that Levi must've told her about them already. So he watched and played them already. So why would Levi...?

"... Oh" Clover made, realising. "Mammon", she then called out. "Come, we're leaving."

"Huh?!" Mammon huffed. "Human? Don't ya care about Levi's sleeping problems?!"

"Levi doesn't have sleeping problems, Mammon."

"... Huh?"

The human let out a soft sigh, then grabbed Mammons jacket to pull him towards the door.

Levi was quietly watching, still frowning.

"Levia-tan?" Clover said after having successfully pushed Mammon out of the room, standing at the door herself. "Please don't worry too much. I see the effort you've put into thinking of something good. And I'm sure that you-know-who will do, too."

With that, she shot him a supportive wink before closing the door.

Her words rang in Leviathan's ears for a while, then he sunk deeper into his office chair.

"Pff, as if he'll understand... As if anyone would want to get a present from me..."

-----------

Hours passed, titles kept being added on Levi's list.

But not a single one would satisfy him, would be what he was searching for.

He was sure that the recipient of his secret Santa present... That Belphegor would hate his present either way.

Nothing seemed good enough. Not a single game, not a single anime stroke Levi as something that Belphie would enjoy, not if it was a gift from Levi.

Because the titles themselves were amazing, the Otaku chose only his best recommendations, looked at countless reviews to judge their quality.

But with Levi's already not existent confidence, and with how impressive and well-thought Satan's present for him had been, the demon just couldn't believe he'd be able to deliver anything that's not terrible.

It was already past midnight. On the next morning, Levi would have to hand over his present, and Belphie would be so disappointed to see that he had to get his Christmas present from someone as useless as Levi.

The avatar of Envy bit his lip.

It was all pointless anyway.

Growing more depressed by the second, Levi turned in his chair to not have to look at his lousy list anymore.

After a while, he noticed that his Azuki-tan plushie had been carelessly left on the ground.

Gasping, Levi jumped up to pick it up.

"Tsk... That scumbag Mammon, doesn't even know how to treat other people's properties with the slightest care..." He stroke some dust off the plushie, sitting down again. "How could he, Azuki-tan?! You're the most adorable, soft, perfect little pillow there is! Not only are you limited edition, and Ruri-chan's loyal companion, but your pillow filling is so sweetly soft that one just has to drift off into slumber when holding you close...!"

He softly embraced the pillow, dwelling in the comfort it gave him as he buried his face in the fabric.

Levi was actually about to fall asleep.

Then, he found the answer to his problems, his head laying right on it.

The demon sat up, an uncomfortable feeling settling in his stomach as he stared at Azuki-tan.

He... He couldn't. Only a very limited number of this Azuki-tan version was created. And he loved this one in particular very deeply.

But, then again...

He knew exactly how amazing it was.

And the humans said that Christmas is a time of jumping over your shadow, of kindness...

So... Maybe... If Levi would... Give Azuki-tan into Belphie's hands, then his brother might actually be a little happy over his present...

Maybe then, Levi would be at least a tiny bit good enough...

"W-well, then... Azuki-tan, I think this is the last nap we'll be taking together..."

Almost at the edge of tears, Levi placed his head onto the pillow again, being so terribly tired that he fell asleep immediately.

----------------

The next morning, someone stepped inside Leviathan's room again.

"Levi, wake up... You missed lunch and dinner yesterday, Lucifer will kill you if you skip breakfast today as well."

Slowly waking up, Levi felt somebody coming to a stop next to him.

He didn't have much sleep at all, so opening his eyes seemed like such a difficult task. However, at some point, Levi registered the clicking of his keyboard, causing him to finally lift his head.

"Belphie...?" Levi mumbled, mustering his younger brother as the avatar of Sloth stared at the monitor that he must have turned on just now.

"Four-hundred anime and game recommendations?" was all the youngest brother said.

Levi jumped up in an instant, trying to block the screen with his body.

"D-d-d-don't look at that!!!", he screeched.

"But it said 'recommendations for Belphie'. So why wouldn't I be allowed to see it?"

"Because you're not!!", Levi screamed. "Why are you touching my computer in the first place?!"

"Mammon might have spilled some infos when you wouldn't come eating dinner yesterday."

"Ugh... I will kill that idiot...!"

The blue haired male was stressed. Like, very stressed.

But now, when Belphie was here already, now was the best time to give him his present...

"Uhm...", Levi mumbled, "Belphie, uhm... Well, if Mammon gave you some hints now anyway, I might as well..."

He choked on his words a couple of times, before shaking himself back to his senses. Belphie was watching his brother patiently.

"B-b-belphie!! I, uh, got you as my secret Santa, uhm, partner, s-s-so..." Levi swallowed heavily. "M-my present is... Well... I tried to, you know, think about what you like, and, uhh..."

With shaking hands, he grabbed the Azuki-tan pillow and held it out to Belphie.

"M-m-merry Christ... Christmas, Belphie... This, uhrrm... So, I guess it's not very cool getting a present from some Otaku, b-but I can assure you that this is the best pillow you will ever take a nap on, s-so... Take it."

He said that all while looking away, not bearing the sight without starting to cry. After a little silence, Levi noticed that nothing was happening.

As he dared opening his eyes again, he was met with an irritated expression.

"You're giving me your anime pillow?"

Oh no. Levi had failed after all.

"Oh, you hate it, don't you..", Levi laughed, laughed about his pathetic self. "I mean, of course, this must be garbage to you, only weirdos like me like stuff like that... Maybe I should just-"

"Levi", Belphie called out, tone so serious that it actually managed to pull Levi out of his monologue.

"Levi... Look. You know why I would hate getting that from you? Because obviously, it hurts you. A lot. And I wouldn't want you crying over something that was supposed to be nice, so I'm not accepting that gift."

Puzzled, Levi didn't know what to do. This had turned worse than a game's bad ending so quickly.

However, Belphie pointed at the computer again.

"What about that, though? Looks like you put effort into making that... You even rated everything on a scale."

"Y-yeah, and I wrote descriptions to all of them, so you could find something you like easily... It's like, a list for different sleepy moods. When you want to sleep, when you need to stay awake..."

"Well, I hope you kept the descriptions short", Belphie chuckled.

Tilting his head, Levi did not understand.

"B-but... Isn't that a pathetic gift? How would that ever satisfy anyone?"

Belphie let out a sigh.

"Levi... Stop being so hard on yourself. That is, in all honesty, the only thing that isn't satisfying me right now. Because all this...", he pointed at the list, "and the mere thought that you were ready to give away that plushie of yours is enough."

"I-I... I..." Levi was errored completely.

"Thank you for the present, Levi", Belphie smiled. "I was sceptical about this Christmas thing, but actually, it's pretty nice to see how much people care about you... So, merry Christmas to you."

"Y-yeah...", Levi said, a smile forming on his lips as well.

"Merry Christmas, Belphie."

[mostlycompetentwriter]

Any

F/M pairing: Fem!Reader x Felix (SKZ)

Genre: Sugar Daddy AU! Established Relationship

Word Count: 5K

Warnings: mature content, aged-up characters, and alcohol use

Summary: Despite your feelings, you couldn’t help but think that Felix viewed your relationship as nothing but superficial - he wanted a travel companion, and you needed money for your college tuition. But maybe you want more than that, and convincing Felix proves to be harder than you thought...

You were exhausted - an unfortunate result of all those college courses catching up to you at once.

It was difficult for you to open your eyes, groaning because you didn’t feel like dealing with real life. And while you stretched out your limbs across the bed, you wrinkled your nose at the thought of leaving the warm sheets. But a gentle chuckle broke through your reverie, and you followed the sweet sound to an angelic face shadowed by the corner.

“Felix?” you whispered, glancing to the side where the older man was watching you from a comfortable futon. He held a cup of coffee in one hand while his other was preoccupied with a string attached to his pants.

“I didn’t want to wake you,” Felix said with a deep morning voice that you could never resist.

“What time is it?” you asked, squinting at the alarm clock on the nightstand.

“8:00 AM,” Felix replied. “Your body isn’t used to this time zone.”

“I guess not,” you said, but it was never easy flying around the world with Felix. There was always the risk of jet-lag, long lay-overs, and the difficult adjustment of jumping between morning and night as you traversed the continents.

“Are you comfortable?” Felix asked. “I can send for whatever you like.”

“I’m okay,” you assured him, and then you eyed the inviting expanse of his lap. “Can I sit with you?” you asked with a smile.

Felix tilted his head to the side as he considered your request. “Of course.”

His easy compliance energized you more than any amount of sleep ever could, and you walked over to where he was waiting. It was the perfect start to your day, and you sat on his lap with a smile, wrapping your arms around his neck as you connected your lips for a passionate kiss tinged with the faint taste of the coffee lingering on his tongue.

It had taken a long time for you to convince Felix that it was okay for him to kiss you. During the first few months of your arrangement, you were lucky enough to even hold his hand, but he gradually warmed up the idea. Even if your very first kiss with Felix was nothing but a chaste peck that ended with you chasing after his lips while he resisted.

But it was more comfortable in the present. He even seemed to enjoy kissing you, and that was enough for your fragile heart which beat exclusively for him. Yet, Felix was still an enigma - a Matryoshka doll with layer upon layer of interesting details. And you were determined to understand him while doing your best to convince Felix that you considered your relationship to be much more than its premise. Back when he found your profile on an online Sugar Daddy website (which was totally your friend’s idea), and he sent you a rather complex email listing out everything that he wanted in a potential arrangement:

- Travel companion

- Confidant

- Event partner

You were shocked that he hadn’t included anything about intimacy because every other person on the site had specifically propositioned you with very explicit things. But sure enough, Felix met you the very next day and reiterated his conditions, and you discovered for yourself that he respected the boundaries he had established - barely even touching you unless it was at a dinner party and he politely kept you away from his much less civil co-workers.

But over time, the arrangement had evolved for you into something meaningful, and you found yourself wanting more as you grew increasingly attracted to him. Unfortunately, everything was playing out at a rather slow pace, and it was always you who encouraged Felix along, but maybe you also weren’t the best choice because you certainly lacked patience. But it was hard to hold yourself together around him, especially when he took the initiative to plunge his tongue between your teeth.

In a rush of arousal, you reached down for the noticeable bugle in his suit-pants, pressing down using the heel of your hand - rubbing generous circles against his erection. Felix moaned at the friction, but a warning alarm at the back of your mind told you that you were moving way too fast considering that Felix still blushed whenever you let him touch your breasts.

And it wasn’t entirely surprising when he grabbed your wrist, breaking the kiss with a wet smack while his eyes stared into yours. “Uhhh...”

“Let’s go downstairs for breakfast,” Felix said, shifting you off his lap and ignoring your pout.

You watched Felix leave the room with a sigh. Because despite all this time that you’ve spent together, Felix still refused to sleep with you, and you can’t figure out why he keeps turning down your blatant offers. He was paying you after all, and he was paying you a lot, so why didn’t he ever want anything more than a comfortable conversation or a gentle kiss? 

It seemed that your progress with him was at a standstill because anything past kissing or touching above the waist always ruined the mood. And at one point, you tried to encourage him to tell you about his interests and what he liked, but Felix never talked about himself. For example, whenever you asked him a question about his work or interests, he always offered you a vague answer before redirecting the questions back to you again.

But maybe there something wrong with you? Did he not find you attractive?

“Y/N,” Felix said to break your self-loathing thoughts. “Are you ready?”

“Give me a few minutes,” you said, and Felix nodded with a smile before closing the door and leaving you alone to consider what had just happened.

In between your travels with Felix, you tried to balance an active social life with a productive college course-load. It was really hard sometimes, especially when your instincts always led you to appease Felix above everything else. You had already lost count of the number of weekend parties and friendly get-togethers that you had missed to join him at the office or cancel plans when he mentioned another overseas business conference.

It was a little desperate on your part, but whenever Felix sent you a text message or called you on the phone, you always answered with a chipper smile and warm tone. You could be having the worst day of your life, but you would never let him know that. 

“Can you meet me at the office?” Felix had asked you earlier, and you agreed quietly before dismissing yourself from a lunch date that you were having with some friends who all whined about you leaving them.

But Felix was your priority, and you were genuinely excited when he pulled you into a hug before escorting you inside his office. “There’s some things to discuss,” Felix said, and you groaned because that usually meant sitting in front of his desk while he insisted on a serious demeanor. “Your classes,” Felix said once he sat down, holding out a hand expectantly which meant you were forced to pull up the grade-book for your courses online.

Felix was incredibly adamant about your grades, and he always insisted on checking-in to ensure that you were performing well. “It’s not completely updated,” you said once he took your phone and examined the screen.

“What happened in your math class?” Felix asked with narrowed eyes. “You told me about this one when we traveled to Europe.”

“Right,” you said with an anxious clearing of your throat. Because on that trip, Felix had insisted that you stay in the hotel room to study while he went downstairs to entertain some business partners. But you only got through the second chapter of your notes before throwing on your swimsuit and sneaking out to enjoy the poolside amenities. “My overall grade is still a B,” you said. “And the professor agreed to give me an extra credit assignment.”

Felix grunted at your words before sliding the phone screen back across to you. “When is next month’s tuition due?”

“At the end of November,” you said quietly, watching as Felix opened his laptop to peruse the bright screen. 

“Send me the bill,” he said. “I’ll have the money transferred.”

“Okay,” you said, wincing when he started frowning at something.

“Your checking account is low,” he remarked, and his fingers moved rapidly over the keys. “You’re supposed to tell me when its below $1,000.”

“Oh,” you mumbled. “I guess I forgot.”

 “I’ll fix it,” Felix said, and it always amazed you that he could be so nonchalant with giving you his money. “I see that your rent was payed last week.”

“Everything’s fine,” you said, hoping to cut this part of your conversation short because there was a part of you (growing bigger each day) that regretted the fact that Felix didn’t know your true feelings for him.

He meant a lot more to you than someone who gave you money like it was candy.

“Your meal plan carries over?” Felix asked. “Do you need me to upgrade it? Are you getting enough to eat? Because they have this unlimited plan...”

“Felix,” you interrupted. “It’s just right for me.”

“Well,” Felix said, sitting back further in his chair. “I do have something else to ask you.”

“About?”

“Your birthday,” Felix chuckled, and you were surprised that he remembered. “It’s next week, isn’t it?”

“Yeah,” you said because you weren’t quite sure what to make of Felix’s impressive attention to detail.

“You’ll be turning 21,” Felix said. “I want to make it special for you.”

“We could just chill at my apartment,” you said, and Felix smiled at such a menial suggestion.

“Of course we’ll do that, but I’m sure there’s something else you want?” Felix asked, silencing an incoming call on his cellphone. “I’ll buy you anything.”

“I don’t know,” you trailed off sheepishly before fixing him with a warm smile. “I wouldn’t mind just spending time with you.”

“You don’t have to flatter me, Y/N,” Felix said. “Please let me buy you something.”

“Oh,” you said, caught off-guard by his insistence. “Maybe something that I need for school?”

“Y/N, that’s no good for a present,” Felix said. “Be honest with me. Do you need another computer? Is your apartment comfortable? What about your car, is it still in good shape?”

You hesitated at each of the ostentatious suggestions. “Uh, my phone is fi-”

“Done!” Felix said, and he immediately returned to his laptop screen. “The newest model has amazing storage space.”

“Does it?” you asked, but it was more rhetorical than anything. Because something was bothering you about the idea of Felix buying you such superficial things.

But it didn’t used to? What had changed?

“I know you have another class in an hour,” Felix said, and he stood from his desk with a smile. “My assistant can give you a ride back to your school.”

His hand was warm against you lower back as he led you closer to the door. “I’ll see you later,” Felix said, and he brushed his lips against yours before the office door was closing between you and the frustrating man who was completely oblivious.

For the most part, whenever Felix asked you to come over to his apartment, you often found yourself sitting on the edge of the counter while you watched him cook for you - a delightful combination of pasta dinners, brownies and cookies, and everything in between.

And even though you hadn’t quite turned 21, Felix never minded giving you some of his impressive collection of wine. He even insisted because certain wines complemented his dishes. “Try this with the chardonnay,” he said while pushing the glass closer to your pasta.

You nodded and brought the glass to your lips, watching as he returned to the oven to check on the brownies that he made for dessert. “Tell me about your music, Y/N,” Felix said while jabbing a toothpick into the gooey cake mixture.

“I have another composition in the works,” you said, and it was always really easy to talk about music with Felix. Because he was one of the only people you’d ever met who was so genuinely interested in hearing you talk about music - it’s what you talked about the most, especially in bed together. 

Apparently, Felix had once wanted to study music when he was younger, but his father pressured him into studying business so that he could takeover their accounting firm in the future. It was one of the very few things you knew about Felix, other than his insane cooking talents and sweet personality. 

But Felix loved to hear you discuss your music, and he adored your compositions when you played them for him over the impressive sound system in the living room. Oftentimes, Felix would make copies of your compositions for himself, despite your insistence that they weren’t very professional. He even had entire recordings on his computer that he listened to while he was working.

“It would sound better if I had a good microphone,” you said with a sigh, not really understanding the implications of your words until Felix spoke up again.

“Send me a description of what you need,” Felix said. “I’ll buy it for you.”

“Oh, Felix, it’s really not a big deal...”

“I insist,” Felix said while finishing off his wine. “I’ll have my assistant go out tomorrow and get it for you.”

You knew that it would be impossible to convince Felix otherwise, and there were more pressing things to worry about. Like when you noticed that he had only taken a few bites of his food before leaning in closer to you - chin propped against his hand as he listened to you speak. “Aren’t you hungry?” you asked, pointing to his discarded plate.

“Why? Would you like some more?” Felix asked, and you didn’t even get a chance to answer before he was pushing his plate in your direction. “Take as much as you want.”

“But it’s yours,” you said, even while Felix was already standing up from his chair to retrieve the brownies from the kitchen counter.

“I made these for you,” Felix said. “I noticed how much you liked them last time.”

“They’re amazing,” you said, and you were pleased when he lowered his head to connect your lips together.

“I also bought you something,” Felix said while pulling away from your kiss. “Check the bed.”

“What?” you laughed, and you accepted Felix’s outstretched hand as he led the two of you into his enormous bedroom. And sure enough there was a delicate package waiting on the center of the bed, wrapped neatly in purple wrapping paper with a cute bow on top. “You didn’t need to do this,” you said while reaching down for the gift.

“I thought of you when I saw it,” Felix said, and he lingered close to your side while you carefully discarded the paper and retrieved whatever was inside the velvety black box.

Unsurprisingly, the gift inside was gorgeous - a tiny set of earrings with a diamond center that probably cost him an atrocious amount of money. “They’re beautiful,” you told him, and you smiled when Felix insisted on putting them in himself.

“They complement your eyes,” he said once the earrings were in place.

“Thank you,” you said while holding back the overwhelming urge to kiss him again.

“I should also mention that I have a conference in Seattle this weekend,” Felix said, and he turned you from side to side with a pleased smile. “Are you available to come with me?”

“Of course,” you said, and you gave no thought to any prior engagements, holding out your hand when Felix dropped a ticket into your open palms.

“Let’s lie down for a little while,” Felix suggested, and you nodded your agreement while watching him drop down onto the edge of the bed to remove his watch. 

It was a familiar scene, and you carefully folded your ticket inside your jacket, removing it from your shoulders before crawling onto the bed next to him. “What should we talk about?” you asked around a yawn, snuggling closer to Felix’s side as he wrapped an arm around your waist.

“Tell me about the internship you’re applying for,” Felix said. “I’m very proud of your ambitions.”

You heart gave a happy flutter at the idea of Felix being proud of you for anything, and there was a deep-rooted desire to move even closer to him despite the fact that it wasn’t possible considering your current position. But you talked about the internship with unrivaled enthusiasm - a spot for a local radio station - and Felix listened as usual while his fingers curled through your own. 

It was incredibly warm and comfortable, and you loved being close enough to him to smell his cologne and connect the freckles beneath his eyes into fascinating constellations. There was nothing but affection in your heart, and maybe your feelings were even deeper than you anticipated, and you longed to go even further - to form a physical connection with him that was just as satisfying as the emotional one that often kept you up at night with dreams of the future.

“Felix,” you whispered, and he hummed in acknowledgement. “Can I kiss you?”

He shifted at your side, finding your gaze with a kind smile. “Of course you can.”

It was the only affirmation that you required to dig your fingers into the well-pressed collar of his shirt, keeping him close as you explored his lips with your tongue, tracing over the seam of his mouth as he opened up for you. And Felix moaned when your tongues met somewhere in the middle, forcing you to wonder if he tasted the chocolate from dinner with his penetrative exploration of your mouth. 

But you were feeling so aroused by his deep moans, and you threw one leg over his hip before grabbing his hand and leading it beneath your skirt. Felix gasped into your kiss when he realized that you weren’t wearing anything underneath, and he quickly snatched his hand away so fast that you almost got whiplash from the jarring movement. 

“Don’t do that,” Felix said, and he intertwined your fingers together before resuming your kiss like there was nothing wrong.

But you didn’t feel the same way, and you broke the kiss because you were suddenly feeling light-headed. Was there something wrong with you? Because his behavior had no other explanation, even as Felix simply continued to leave sweet kisses along your neck - gentle pecks that served more as a reminder of his presence rather than anything sensual.

You could feel your heart twisting inside your chest - a distant feeling of the earlier elation that had sent it palpating against your breastbone. There were also tears in your eyes when your mind instantly thought of a thousand different scenarios that all attempted to explain what had happened. Should you just keeping waiting? Maybe you needed to be more patient?

But you were done with having patience with a man who was almost ten years older than you! He should know how you feel, and he should’ve already recognized the signs you were giving off whenever you lingered in the same room. Instead, it almost felt like he was ignoring you, or choosing to remain in this strange limbo that was starting to become too much for your confused emotions.

“Y/N,” Felix whispered when he realized that you weren’t returning his affection. “Are you okay?”

“No,” you said in return, and it seemed to startle Felix who fumbled upwards into a sitting position. 

“Did I hurt you?” Felix asked, and you could tell that he was worried when he examined you closely.

“I don’t think you’ve realized...” you tried, but the words slipped away because you no longer felt confident enough to say them. “Do you not want me?” you asked him instead, looking at Felix with tears clumping the massacre on your eyelashes. 

“Y/N-”

“No!” You insisted firmly, surprising both Felix and yourself. “I’ve had enough, Felix. I’m going home.”

“Y/N!” Felix said, and his tone was much firmer as he grabbed your wrist and halted your attempts to leave the bed. “This is not how I’ll handle things with you. Tell me what I’ve done to upset you.”

You shook your head, seeing nothing but a hazy image of Felix from behind your tears. “You should already know,” you said while pulling your wrist away from him. “I thought I made my feelings clear, but you keep rejecting me!”

Felix’s eyes widened with the realization of what you meant. “Y/N, that was never apart of our arrangement.”

“Yeah.” You laughed, but it was mirthless. “Our arrangement.”

It was all the confirmation that you needed to understand that Felix would never see your relationship as anything but a man and a woman who met online and decided to try something that was never meant to last.

You had been hurt by men before, but you had also never cared as much about your past boyfriends as you did with Felix.

He had become everything to you, but the realization that your feelings weren’t mutual hurt your heart and spirit more than being left alone by a one-night stand or catching someone cheating on you. “It’s my fault, Y/N,” you friend said from your couch because you had called her on the way over to your apartment in tears. “I should’ve never encouraged you to sign up for that website.”

“Don’t blame yourself,” you said. “I should’ve never involved my feelings.”

“Well,” your friend said. “He’s still an ignorant asshole.”

You smiled at your friend’s defense of you, even if you didn’t agree. Despite everything that had happened that night with Felix, you couldn’t find it in yourself to hate him. And maybe that’s because the genuine feelings you had for him simply wouldn’t go away instantly.

It would take time to heal.

Closure.

Which is what you thought you were getting when you received a message from Felix later on:

FROM FELIX:

Y/N, I can’t express my thoughts in one or two sentences. Please pick-up when I call you. I feel it’s necessary to address these slights you’ve experienced, and you don’t even have to say a word to me.

You shivered at his request, clutching your phone tightly between your hands before it started ringing to penetrate the silence of your bedroom. “Hello?” you whispered into the other end, and there was a moment of quiet before Felix began to speak.

“This is not how I expected our night to end,” he said. “I’m deeply sorry for the pain that I caused you. I could see it in your eyes, and it hurt me more than you seem to think.”

You swallowed hard when he took a deep breath. “When I first found your profile, I hesitated to contact someone who, in my eyes, seemed like an untouchable slice of perfection. You loved music and dancing, and you had big dreams that you described with such elegant words. Although I was looking for a companion for my travels, I knew you would be so much more than my expectation, but it was hard to ignore how much I wanted to meet you.”

“I thought it would be best to establish boundaries because I initially imagined our relationship as nothing more than me helping out someone who needed the assistance that I could give. I couldn’t imagine you losing the chance to succeed because you weren’t able to afford tuition. When I was a student, I had the help of my father’s wealth, but he forced me to change my dreams because he wanted to mold me into an image of himself. And he was very successful because I used to be more carefree before I was told that I had to takeover our company. But I promised myself that I would help you because I wanted to be everything for you that my father was not.”

There was a shaky exhale, and you could hear the raw emotion in Felix’s tone. “You deserve better than me,” Felix whispered, and you could barely hold the phone as you felt the first tear fall. “I’m almost thirty-years-old, and I’m paying a student to spend time with me because I’m so bad at meeting people. I organized this whole thing to satisfy my own selfish desires to live vicariously through someone else and experience what my father never allowed me to have.”

You opened your mouth to speak, to reassure him that you had never felt like he was taking advantage of you, but the words were caught between your brain and tongue.

“As for your insinuation that I couldn’t possibly want you...” Felix paused, and you could easily imagine that the conversation had ended abruptly. “I chose not to have a physical relationship with you because I could never imagine in my wildest dreams that someone as young and beautiful as yourself could truly want a sexual relationship with an older man who spends most of his time balancing numbers. If we’re talking our truest desires, then there’s nothing more that I want in this world than your sweet touch, but I won’t allow myself to ruin someone as pure and good as you.”

He cleared his throat at that statement, and you wondered what your relationship might’ve looked like if you had been more honest with him from the beginning. “Perhaps I also grew too complacent with what we had because it was more than any scenario I could’ve came up with inside my head. I love our talks together, Y/N, and you can’t imagine how wonderful it is to travel the world with you - to sleep next to you at night and kiss you because I cherish every moment of your time with me.”

“So please don’t feel hurt by someone like me. Because you’re worth more than all the money I have, and you deserve a wonderful life where you become someone who recognizes the greatness that I see in her. But if this is meant to be goodbye, then know that I love you so much, and I will never forget the artist who changed my world.”

There was a click following his passionate declaration, and then you were greeted by the dial tone.

You thought about Felix for the entire week following his unexpected phone call. His words haunted you during your classes, and you could barely focus when you were working on your schoolwork or hanging out with friends. The confession of his love weighed heavily on your conscious, and you knew that you needed to see him again

It was incredibly risky, but there was an even bigger part of yourself that didn’t care about the consequences. And you found yourself taking a taxi to the airport where Felix was set to depart for Seattle, ticket tucked into the back of your jeans pocket while your suitcase rolled along next to you. Of course, there was a small part of you that worried you might not be able to find Felix, or maybe he wouldn’t want to see you.

But you were tired of being cautious, and Felix was worth the extra effort to hand over your ticket to the flight attendant who encouraged you to wait in the first-class lobby. You thanked her quietly, and your hand was shaking when you reached out for the door handle, pushing it open before scanning your eyes across the customers waiting inside.

It was mostly people in expensive suits, looking through their cellphone or reading the newspaper. But it was impossible to miss a familiar mop of blonde-hair, and your eyes met Felix’s from across the room - a moment in time when it felt like you were the only two people left in the room.

And you could tell that Felix was surprised, but he didn’t protest when you sat next to him. “Hi,” you said in a shy voice, fixing your suitcase against the wall while your hands curled together in your lap.

“Y/N,” Felix said with a gentle tone. “I didn’t expect to see you here.”

“I thought you wanted me to come,” you reminded him, and you held up your ticket with a smile. 

Felix visibly swallowed as he stared at you. “I figured you wouldn’t want to see me anymore.”

“Why?” you asked him. “After those things you said to me...Felix, I only want to see you more.”

He was silent then, contemplative as he took a deep breath. “I hurt you, Y/N. I don’t deserve to be with you.”

“That’s not true,” you said. “Well, maybe I felt hurt, but I think we’re both to blame.”

“You should know that I’ll continue to help you with your schooling,” Felix said. “But the other part of the arrangement...”

“Felix, I insist,” you said while grabbing his hand. “I like spending time with you, Felix,” you said. “You’re a literal angel.”

“I don’t know about that,” Felix said. “There’s a lot about me that you still don’t know.”

“And that’s okay,” you reassured him. “Because I’d really like to find out more about you and everything that you enjoy.”

“I’m still sorry,” Felix insisted. “I’m sorry that I let you get so involved while pushing you away at the same time.”

“I’ll just have to show you that I care more than you think,” you said. “Let me start helping you as well.”

“But you’ve already helped me,” Felix said. “You’ve done so much for me, and you can’t even imagine how grateful I am.”

“Well, I might since the feeling is mutual,” you said. “I don’t want you to question whether or not you deserve me because I love being with you, and this stopped being just a sporadic arrangement for me a long time ago.”

Felix nodded, even if there was still a touch of hesitation. “And how do you feel about...intimacy? I know that’s something you want.”

“I only want it if you’re interested,” I said.

“What if I wasn’t?”

“Then I would respect that,” you said. “It still wouldn’t send me away.”

“That means a lot to me,” Felix said. “I would be interested as long as you’re okay with me touching you,” Felix said, and he was clearly blushing at the idea.

But you found it to be endearing, prodding at the reddening skin of his face with your finger. “Let’s try a normal relationship,” you said. “Like a couple.”

Felix smiled, and he was much more suited for brightness as opposed to the despondency that you discovered when you first arrived. “I like that idea.”

“It seems better for us,” you said before expectantly turning your head in his direction. “Does that mean I can have a kiss?”

Felix laughed at your brazenness, and you were still smiling even while your lips smoothed across his in a passionate display of the secret feelings and affections that had finally been exposed for him to return with equal amounts of love and adoration.