#but his partner invited us to dinner to try and correct all this and im trying tp fix things on my end

[lupismaris]

Turns out HPF (hot professor friend) is also working towards long term sobriety (his whole polycule might be actually) so i have someone on a more intimate level to talk about sobriety and the more fucked up shit with and I caught him at the end of our shifts today and honestly I feel a little less like I'm drowning in it all

[theonlygamergost]

French homework and a Dream - fd!au. ( part 1 / 2)

This fanfiction is based on the Family Dynamic au made by @antarctic-bay ctic-bay if you would like to know more, go check them out!!!

Also please bear in mind that the things written in this might not be canon!

This fic was corrected by the lovely @im-default

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Techno and Dream did the fatal mistake of choosing French over Spanish and now they have to suffer the consequences together

next part --->

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Enjoy~

Lunch break was sacred for Techno, it was that magic moment where he sat at a table alone, in the corner of the cafeteria with a book of his choice to read and block out the chaos of the fellow students. You know what they say: if you can't find peace, create your peace.

With lo-fi music or classical piano in his ears, he would peacefully eat his lunch, recharging his social energy (already consumed in the first half of the day) by not talking nor seeking company. Even though, from time to time, he would get some visitors:

One of his brothers could drop by if they needed to talk to him or they were also already feeling exhausted, Skeppy would also sit with him and try to initiate conversations, in vain since Techno ends up ignoring him unless he needed something important.

All in all, Techno didn’t allow anyone to disturb or interrupt his moment of peace, neither he liked sharing his book or music with anyone…

Well, anyone apart from Dream.

In between the rivalry for the smartest kid and best (nerd) Minecraft pvp-er, the two had started frequenting now and then, maybe studying at the library together or grabbing a bite after school before parting ways, all in all, they found to have a similar love for quiet company and taste in music.

So, to see Dream sit next to Techno, steal one of his earbuds, and tug the book a little closer for him to read as well wasn’t rare, but a treat to see.

“TALK TO ME TECHNO!!!” Skeppy had been trying to get his friend’s eyes off of the book for about five minutes or so, just to get completely denied by an unbothered and concentrated face. “Techno pleaseee!!!! I need attention!” his head fell on the table, “...I can tell” he finally replied while turning the page.

Skeppy groaned and went on bothering him for another five minutes.

Techno sighed, “Can’t you go bother someone else?” Skeppy was about to complain again, but a familiar laugh made the both of them stop and look at the direction it came from, “You’re so needy Skeppy”.

The boy in the green hoodie placed his tray next to Techno’s, leaving his backpack on the seat next to him, “YEAH! And this stupid pig isn’t giving me any attention!!!” after a second of silence they all giggled at Techno being addressed as “Pig”, something that only Skeppy could get away with. Not even Dream could call him that without either a complaint or a casual roast coming from the other teen as a consequence.

“Have you studied for tomorrow’s French test?” He took a bite of… whatever the cafeteria had made that day, he couldn’t really tell since it was so… revolting-looking, but it didn’t taste that bad and Dream was pretty hungry. Skipping breakfast was a habit of his so whatever he could eat at lunch was fine by him, it just needed to fill him up until the end of the day.

“Nah… I can’t remember some of the verbs, let alone when and how to use them” he replied before sipping on some water, “Same… some words are unpronounceable too… “ Dream and Techno both made the grave mistake of choosing French over Spanish as a second language, Techno made a very bad first impression with the teacher and Dream overslept three lessons in a month, let’s say that if they didn’t do good on this test… they could kiss goodbye a good French overall vote at the end of the year.

Skeppy exploded in a loud laugh, banging one of his fists on the table meanwhile holding his stomach, “Sucks to be you!” they sighed in defeat, Skeppy got convinced into choosing Spanish by a friend so he couldn’t relate to their problems since legends told that the Spanish teacher was a very nice person.

“I’ll leave you two to your nerdy problems, later losers!” Dream told him goodbye meanwhile Techno simply waved.

The blonde boy stretched his arms and grabbed both his phone and diary out of the backpack, flipping through it he nudged the other boy lightly, “We only have French for tomorrow… wanna study together?” Techno hummed a reply as the blondie took one of his earbuds, Techno reacted with a question: “Want to study at the library or..?” Dream’s head tilted, “Or what? We don’t have another place to study” Techno furrowed his brows for a second, “Well… no, you’re right”.

The reply made Dream curious, but he limited himself to finishing his meal in silence, enjoying the quiet company until the bell rang.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“It’s already six pm?! We haven’t even finished memorizing this stuff!” Dream groaned in frustration while Techno just dropped his head on the book in front of him, they had been studying for two hours interrupted only by a bathroom break, and they weren’t even half-way done with their homework.

“This will be the only low grade on my paper this year…” the low murmur was muffled by the fact that Techno’s head was still slumped on the books, “Oh come on…”, Dream rubbed out the tiredness from his eyes, “I know that I won’t get anything done once I get back home, my ADHD goes crazy when I’m studying French… it knows I don’t want to study it so it makes me think about everything but that!”, the blonde boy chuckled, “I can never focus when It’s French too…”

Well, that was a slump, both of them knew that going part-ways wasn’t going to work… If they wanted a decent grade they had to have a study partner.

So Techno took a shot in the dark.

“Ok listen, I’ve got a plan:  come sleep over at my place, my desk it’s a bit messy but if I throw everything on the ground we’ll fit, you can’t eat dinner with us because Phil already cooked it and it’s not enough for five people, it’s not enough- but we can go eat somewhere”.

Dream froze in genuine shock: he had never gone to the Pandel house, nor he had ever been invited by Techno anywhere really, he was usually the one that asked him to grab a bite together, Techno only ever asked him to study, and that was already pretty rare. So getting such an out-of-nowhere invitation to eat together AND sleep at his house was… very surprising.

“Uhh… sure, can I borrow a shirt to sleep in?” Techno nodded, “Well then…  should we go eat now so that we have more time to study later?” Techno nodded again and they started packing up their stuff, grabbing books and pencils that scattered on the table while studying.

“McDonald’s?” Dream proposed, “McDonald’s” Techno replied.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Meanwhile, they were crunching on some fries, Techno texted the Pandel chat about Dream sleeping over, Phil agreed almost instantly, telling Techno where he could get some blankets and an additional pillow, the problems were Wilbur and Tommy that didn’t like the idea of having Dream in their house, (because they had a Minecraft server where they and Dream had a bit of a… “difference��� of opinions…) but Techno told them to cry about it and closed the chat, reassuring the boy in the green hoodie that he could spend the night with him.

On their way home, Techno had noticed by reading the notifications that the Berry brothers had proposed a last-minute movie night, to which the other Pandel’s agreed, already counting Techno off, so it wasn’t a surprise that they met Wilbur and Tommy leaving when they arrived.

“I’m glad we are leaving, two tryhards together must be a revolting sight” Wilbur adjusted his coat as Tommy tied his laces, “I’m glad you guys are leaving too, we really need to study and my desk is a bit small, we can use the kitchen until you come back” Dream stifled a giggle, the passive-aggressive energy the Pandel had when speaking to each other was very entertaining, Techno turned to him and pointed at the clothes hanger behind the door, “Put your jacket there, oh and don’t forget to take your shoes off, I’ll get you a pair of slippers, Eret’s one should fit you”

He opened the closet to almost disappear in it, “Bye big D! Have fun with TechnoNerd!” Dream cringed at Tommy’s goodbye while Wilbur snickered at it, “Bye… and please don’t call me that ever again”

The front door closed as Techno dropped a pair of dark blue slippers in front of him, he thanked him, grabbed his backpack and followed the pink-haired boy while looking around:

the living room and the kitchen were in the same room, there was also no proper table, not that there was room for it, so he guessed that they ate on the kitchen counter.

There were four doors in the room, the first one on the left before the kitchen, a pig sticker gave Techno’s room away, on the other side of it, next to the couch, there was a door with a big sign spelling “NO BITCHES ALLOWED” with an evil smile scribbled next to it, he guessed that was Tommy’s room.

Not too far away from Tommy’s room, there was another door, but this time nothing was on it, and the fourth door was to the right of that blank door aka on the opposite side of the front door. He guessed one was a room and one was the bathroom, there was a hole next to the fourth door though…

Techno sat on one of the stools and opened his backpack, “As I’ve said, we can stay here until the others come back, if you need the bathroom it’s this one” He pointed at the door directly behind him, door number three… but then…

“Why is there a hole next to that door” Dream pointed at the forth door, Techno smiled briefly, “Uhhh… It’s a long and secret story, but to give you an idea that is Will’s room” He blinked a couple of times to let the information sink in, Techno snapped him out of it by waiving his pen in front of his eyes.

“C’mon nerd, we have work to do.” To which Dream apologized and sat next to him, taking a deep breath before opening the french textbook.

[howwelldoyouknowyourmoon]

Onni Speaks

▲ The marriage of Dr Mose Durst and Onni Yeon-soo Lim (or Im)

HOSTAGE TO HEAVEN by Barbara Underwood and Betty Underwood

Four years in the Unification Church by an Ex Moonie and the mother who fought to free her.  Published 1979

from pages 66-69

Divine Principle was continually reinforced by community life, especially in Family Meetings. These were a time for brothers and sisters in the centers to share their realizations of God, their conquests of their own selfishness, or their dreams. Sometimes Onni would speak words of fire. Because of this, the call for Family Meeting struck like lightning.

“Quick, pali-pali!” (Pali meaning hurry in Korean.) “Onni’s coming tonight for a Family Meeting. Clean up now!” Teresa ordered. Teresa, who was responsible for preparing the worshipful atmosphere, assigned an older sister to prepare fruit and Ginseng tea for Onni and Dr. Durst, tasks accepted with honor and fear. Tensions ran high to meet Onni’s standard of perfection. Windows were opened because we all knew Onni’s “spiritual smell” was very sensitive to “low spirits” from recently departed guests still dwelling in the Satanic world. Hair combed, faces washed, shirts tucked in, the Family gathered in full circle around a pillow or sofa prepared for Onni. Teresa would lead us in singing before the magisterial arrival.

Onni and Dr. Durst would sweep in. Onni’s presence commanded full obedience. Meetings would usually start with a ritual passing of fortune cookies, which we read out loud. Seen as a barometer of our spiritual states of mind, the ones I saved were memorable: “Great thoughts come from the heart,” “Life to you is a dashing and bold adventure,” or “He that falls in love with himself [which I publicly read, “God”] will have no rivals.”

...

I also lived at the Hearst Street mansion, a stately old Georgian ex-fraternity house near the University of California campus; at The Gardens, elegant and palatial home of Onni and Dr. Durst, for a few months; up in the Boonville trailers; and at the dignified Victorian Washington Street center in San Francisco.

The most complete responsibility in center life I ever assumed was during two months in summer of 1975 when I moved back to Oakland’s modest but historic Dana Street center. Jonah directed that house with bursting momentum, consistent as a reliably wound clock. My duties as his “object,” or assistant, included cooking for thirty each day and night, buying food and provisions, and in “spare” hours leading a recruiting team in downtown Oakland in which our goal was a “date” for dinner each night. (I still recall those unsuspecting sidewalk innocents on whom we lunged in desperation a few minutes before dinner.) I also hostessed evening lecture programs, gave lectures and slide presentations, kept the finances and the family history, answered telephones, drove flower-selling missions at night, conducted prayer meetings and trinity meetings, group-assisted at Boonville on weekends, and, above all, served Jonah with total obedience.

Jonah treated me with stern instruction, ever ready to correct. He’d catapult out of the house for meetings at The Gardens with Onni, sticking his head back in the door to yell about all the errors in judgment I’d committed that day. With no chance to plead for justice, I’d trot to Onni’s prayer room to faithfully pray for inner strength to humble myself to his holy tyranny, to feel “married for eternity” to his will. I tried to sense our bond as unending, the only way I could force myself to submit temporarily. After unlocking it with a hidden key, I’d slip into the Dana prayer room. One for each center, this one was immaculate with quiet light, translucent curtains gently blowing, photos of True Parents and Jesus, mementos from Korea, holy books, and the fragrance of fresh-cut roses. These moments were the few times when Reverend Moon’s wife, my True Mother, emerged as more important to me than “Father” himself. I had been told that her course in restoring the world set the example for all sisters. She lived an absolute shadow existence to Reverend Moon, an obedient birth-giver to “perfect” children, one after another. Kneeling under her unreadable face posed beside Father’s, I identified with her intense struggle to endure her life.

At Dana Street, while I was assistant, our main mission consisted of recruiting eight hours a day in places like the San Francisco wharf, Golden Gate Park, on Berkeley’s campus, or on the new subway system, BART. Working with a small team of partners, we would approach and invite to dinner as many bright, capable passers-by as we could manage to engage in conversation. Onni instructed us to avoid talking too long to any one person, especially to avoid talking philosophy about the Church. She herself had set the standard when, in the early movement, she had reached out to one hundred people in one day. “Make friends, offer them whatever they are seeking, pray for Heavenly Father to guide them to dinner,”' Onni would teach. “Sisters get handsome men, brothers attract pretty girls. It’s good if they come because they like you. Once in God’s house, they learn to love God instead.” By spoken and unspoken understandings, we knew what we were looking for: capable, healthy, restless, young, white people like ourselves, preferably lonely and traveling, uprooted. They might respond to our approach: “Beautiful day, isn’t it? Been traveling long? Where are you from? Have you ever met our Family? We live on a huge farm together. You should come visit us; you’re always welcome. By the way, are you hungry?”

Two Family buses, called the “Coffee-Break-Bus” and the “Elephant Bus,” were strategically located in tourist areas as recruiting centers for “hitchhikers with knapsacks.” Our teams would look for young prospects, bring them back to the bus for coffee and doughnuts, and introduce them to the Family. Our psychological approach was irresistible. Members of the Church “radiated” love and kindness to strangers. Many conscientious, open people felt obliged to respond to us on a personal and social level because we made it seem too cruel to resist.

After a full day of recruitment, reaching out to people we believed we could save, our dinners at the center consisted of more intense relating to individuals. We fed them, entertained them, and suggested to them an “amazing set of ideas that would change their lives and make them happy.” We insisted they stay with us. The success of the day was measured by how many guests “signed up” and paid for a weekend training session up on our isolated 680 acres of land, the Boonville farm.

After guests left the centers at nine-thirty at night, the house was cleaned. Moneymaking teams prepared to “blitz the bars.” Everyone else visited prospective “spiritual children,” or held trinity meetings to read “Master Speaks,” a series of tracts based on Moon’s speeches. Prayer and chanting was at eleven sharp. Anyone who had fasted, to bring more people or money in, would break that fast at midnight with soup and ice cream. By 12:30 younger Family members were in their sleeping bags, men side by side on one floor, women on the next level in strict segregation. Carpet cleaning or auto repair crews might come in at four or five o’clock after working all night.

After midnight, as center assistant, I planned menus, incorporating Boonville farm produce into rice, soup, or potato combinations for next night’s dinner. (Breakfast had been juice, coffee, oatmeal; lunch was peanut butter and jelly sandwiches, raisins, carrots, cookies.) One-thirty a.m. found me still making lists of workshop signups and fund-raising accounts, and trying to locate used clothes in the “extra clothes room” for new sisters.

By two o’clock, Jonah would either stagger in or bluster in, depending on Onni’s mood, from a staff meeting at The Gardens. Over his milkshake or a stack of gooey jelly and peanut butter sandwiches I’d prepared, I would try to guess from him the content of the meetings. I later read through a staff brother’s notebook and learned what a tight ship Onni ran. The following are quotes from Onni, as recorded in his notebook:

“If one person doubts then no good. If on staff and drop out, this creates disunity because can’t trust you. Such people are betrayers. You know heavenly secrets. If you go away, you dangerous because you know too much. You can’t zig-zag. If you fight it out, you can overcome.” (2/13/74).

“You staff have Satanic evil mouths. Have to knock off—don’t say too much. And when you talk to people, talk only about their needs, their benefits, find out what will get them in. In witnessing, if people get negative toward you, just say that we support all churches.” (2/3/74).

(And a few days later): “We never tell any lie, never give any untruth. Who accuse us of that?” (2/21/74).

“If you don’t listen to me [Onni], no way for you to be restored. Bind with Onni. Do or die for purpose. Get rid of own ego. Our own will or desires must be last.” (2/14/74).

In January Onni had given instructions to Teresa about a sister who had complained of seeing evil spirits: “Teresa, must ask Abbey honestly heart to heart, pray together. Then talk. If no good, then chase evil spirit out of her. If not we’ll send her to hospital. She should do laundry each day.”

Onni had said of a brother, a young insurance salesman noted for his spunk and independence of mind: “Never let Don drive again. I don’t like him. Smash his ego. Or put him in Heavenly jail to change his attitude!” (2/21/74).

Other provisos: “Everyone must raise hand and share experience at Family meeting. If you can’t raise hand you are living selfishly. No good.” Or: “When you go out and witness, witness to the people for Dr. Durst; they respect Ph.D. bag. But when people come into Family to stay, then you witness for Onni.” And, “No one want elderly people around for dinner because they are not needed.” (2/20/74).

Onni also made clear in staff meetings: “No German travelers for workshop; they too scientific and heady. And black people don’t fit in so well. Hard for them. Not right time in God’s providence for them. Father says if whites don’t accomplish then use blacks to shame whites in America, but not yet.”

Barbara Underwood:

One Family meeting with Onni Durst scarred my soul

A story from Bay Area Unification Church of the 1970s – part 1 Disciples Fill Moon’s Pockets

A story from Bay Area Unification Church of the 1970s – part 2 Moonie 1977 Court Battle: Fighting For ‘Rights’

A story from Bay Area Unification Church of the 1970s – part 3 For Moonies ‘Deprogram’ Meant Torture

Onni Durst – The Dragon Lady

Moon’s ultimate truth is … absolute obedience – Allen Tate Wood

Moonwebs: Journey into the Mind of a Cult by Josh Freed

Crazy for God: The nightmare of cult life by Christopher Edwards