#but hes not ACTUALLY like that and hes gotten better abt acknowledging his part and finally being able to say sorry
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1980ssunflower · 2 years ago
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In a Min loving mood tonight
#f/o:💙hide in your shell🎹#tape entry circa 1980#i was going on a rant before abt how i love every part of him including the obnoxious smug bitchy parts#that all those parts of him i love too because thats HIM#theres nothing too bad abt him being that way its just a part of his personality and its cute and endearing in ways tbh#and ik how to talk to him because i understand how his mind works#plus he doesnt actually get as angry as he did in the astro-queue ep because that was specific circumstances#but ik very well when to step in if he was ever to act so cruel again towards ryan#but hes not ACTUALLY like that and hes gotten better abt acknowledging his part and finally being able to say sorry#and hes been shown that he is just... SO so so... caring... and so sweet#the way hes able to comfort and calm someone down... reassure them that its ok#just god the way he talked to kez when she was blaming herself get me feeling so soft#the gentleness in his voice too... god i adore him i LOVE him mi bebe... mi peluchito...#i so badly need to hold him close and press kisses all over him#esp on his pretty face on his nose and to squish his soft cheeks dghfjs#i want to run my hands through his messy hair in the mornings 🥺💙💙#i adore him i adore him i ADORE HIM#i want to be sat next to him as hes putting together a song on his synth#maybe we can play something together 💙💛#ik our voices would sound so nice together...#his soft sweet voice and my deep soulful singing i think would be so nice...#just to spend a quiet moment w him i just need to be by his side#to make some kind of stupid joke that just makes him bust out laughing 🥺💙💙 he has such a sweet laugh...#i just want to see him smiling wide and to look at me w those gorgeous dark eyes and to see in them just how much he loves me
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halitis · 19 days ago
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do i have anything anything against jason as a character? no. i actually like him quite a bit! i think hes really interesting!
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BUT DO I THINK SOME JASON FANS ARE FUCKING DUMB AS FUCK?!?? YES BITCH WHAT THE FUCK?
im gonna go through all the shit wrong with this comment thread one by one because jesus fucking CHRIST!!!!
1. "that thing" first of all. What. she is literally just a evil-aligned poc woman. she has been raised in this environment and as a result of that this is really the only life available for her and thats the tragedy of her character!
2. "why did she get with roy" THEY ARE FUCKING SOULMATES. THEIR ENTIRE THING IS THE INHERENT LOVE THEY SHARE FOR EACH OTHER WHILE ALSO VALUING THEIR MORALS ABOVE EACH OTHER. IT IS THE COMPLEXITY OF RAISING A CHILD TOGETHER AND ALSO TRYING TO FIND MIDDLE GROUND. IT IS BEGGINT THE OTHER TO CHANGE AND KNOWING THEY WONT.
3. "MY BABY JASON" YOU CANNOT SAY THAT AFTER YOU JUST INSULTED JADE.... LITTERALLY CANNOT. the biggest fucking hypocrytical statement i have ever fucking heard!!! bro!!! jason is Nawt a good person! he just flat out isnt! he has done so much horrid shit, not just to his familt, but to roy's family too. like he is not ur sweet innocent traumatised boy, he is a fucked up grown ass man who was hurt and decided to take that pain out on others. he is no fucking different from jade except he thinks hes doing rhe right thing, at least jade knows she isnt
4. "lian baby mama is jason now" ive talked abt this before, but sexism in fandom spaces when it comes to mlm ships is so fucking common it is fucking absurd. why are women only used as babymakers for ur gay characters?? why can they not be complex characters while men can???? it is fucking absurd how common it is in dc fandom and i frankly dont know why im shocked by it! women are regressed to one of three roles: evil villain who abused male love interest, baby maker, BAMF with no complexity or character at all and it is honestly so fucking tiring and just, boring to read??? like how do you not just hate it??????
5. "unemployed" honestly. i have no words. all im saying is it is No Fucking Shock that the woc is being pushed into these awful stereotypes.
now we are up to the worst part. the final comment...
6. "how are you gonna sleep with my man" ROY LEFT JADE. NOT THE OTHER WAY ROUND. roy was on an undercover mission and fell in love with jade and got her pregnant! he left because he would not be able to arrest her!!! all she fucking knew was one of the first people she truly ever loved had fucking gotten her to trust him and then left her, she had to deal with that pregnancy BY HERSELF. SHE LITTERALLY SAYS SHE SPENT THE ENTIRE PREGNANCY WAITING FOR ROY TO COME BACK TO HER, AND SHE WASNT EVEN MAD SHE STILL LOVED HIM.... she didn't even realise his identity for years!
also why is it always the woman's fucking fault if she gets pregnant? it takes two to tango! roy is as equally responsible for that pregnancy as jade is!
7. "AND THEN LEAVE YOUR KID" OH MY GOD.... [EXPLODES YOU WITH MY MIND] JADE. CANNOT. LEAVE. THE LEAGUE. BUT SHE DOES NOT WANT TO RAISE A FUCKINF CHILD THERE BECAUSE SHE KNOWS WHAT ITS LIKE!! SHES BEEN THAT KID!! jade knows fucking better then to delude herself into thinking she can raise lian safely while still stuck in her life, but lian is her number one priority always!! forever!! she pushes roy and lian away because she knows she is dangerous for them and because she thinks she doesnt deserve to have them and that love in her life!!!
8. "lian should be embarrassed to have her as her mum" i actually fucking wish nothing but hell upon you. have you not fucking read. just a single thing in ur life actually? just like actually can you read??? because i have met TODDLERS with better media literacy than you. LIAN HAS ISSUES WITH HER MOTHER. THIS WAS A BIG PART OF HER STINT AS SHOES. SHE IS DEALING WITH THE COMPLEXITIES OF LOVING HER MOTHER, THE WOMAN WHO LOVES HER AND CARES FOR HER, WHILE ALSO ACKNOWLEDGING THE FACT THAT SHE ISNT A GREAT MUM.
im sorry this is so messy and has so much shouting it actually has me fuming when people r so fucking stupid, idc if you dont like a character but dont just ignore all the bits of a characyer that make them redeemable or interesting to prop up ur male blorbos????
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astronomical-bagel · 10 months ago
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I wanna hear you talk about chilchuck the most that sure is a guy ever
YAY I GET TO TALK ABOUT MY GUY THANK YOU BELOVED MUTUAL KYSOOT 
(Warning for lots of spoilers from chapter 30 of the manga (right after the red dragon))
Anyways fun fact! The thing that made chilchuck my favorite character was actually when he was trying to convince senshi to lie to the Laios and Marcille in order to get them to turn back and give up on finding falin. I made a whole post about it too, i LOVE cowards. I was reading in my car waiting my twin to get off work and i was screaming my head off the whole time because it was such a good revelation about his character.
And it’s not that i love scared guys (i do, absolutely, but chilchuck doesnt apply here), and its not that i love disloyal people (i also do, but once again, not the point), its the whole character arc where it goes:
1. Once he reaches a limit for how much danger he is willing to be in he will break any moral code of his to keep himself safe. He will lie, he will abandon his friends, whatever, so long as he makes it out alive. 
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2. But THEN, he realizes that his want for safety isn’t just for himself, this time. He realizes that he wants his friends to survive as well. (and that he has gotten way more attached than what was in his job description)
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(look how fond he is!!!! Look how fond he is!!!!!! Im banging my head on the wall AWUGHH!!!!)
So 3. He is forced to go against his own nature of secrecy and being reserved and has to tell the team outright that he doesn’t want them to die.there is just something sooo *vague waving of hands* about a guy who absolutely hates talking about his feelings being forced to do so auughhhh. And he did it to convince Laios to not be reckless and get himself killed!!!!
That entire chapter had such a good journey through chilchuck’s emotional state. From him beign 100% ready to trick them in order to turn around (even contemplating breaking marcille’s staff!), then reminiscing on the fun or brave moments that theyd just had, then remembering that he was mad at them for being idiots and doubling down on his decision. When talking to that orc woman (Leed), he was trying to convince himself that his actions were justified, not just her. 
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And I also quite like the moment when Leed realizes that Chilchuck isn’t angry at the others for putting him in danger, but for putting themselves in danger. Chilchuck didn’t realize this himself yet! Him saying that he wished the others would give up, even when he was removed from the equation, makes Leed realize that he is unselfishly wanting them to turn back so that they would be safe.
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And when she points this out, Chilchuck is absolutely gobsmacked and barely even talks for the rest of the trip because he’s too busy thinking over this revelation. Love a guy who keeps to himself being forced to reconcile with the fact that he has actual friends he cares about now. Look at him!! Hes so shocked he doesn't even know what do to with himself !!! I love him!!!
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And also, another part i really liked abt this chapter is when chilchuck is trying to convince Laios to go back and he’s like “LISTEN i know you are absolutely terrified for your sister but I have THREE PEOPLE TO WORRY ABOUT AND IM NOT USED TO THAT IM GOING TO VOMIT” its just so silly and endearing to me because he really isn’t used to caring about so many people at once – he’s a reserved guy who has been living alone for multiple years! – and its just so important to me because he’s been forced to acknowledge that he cares about his team so hes like “if you guys put yourself in mORE danger im going to scream and cry and throw up SO YOU BETTER TURN BACK NOW PLEEEAASEE”
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Anyways, chapter 30 was so well done and was an absolutely fascinating insight into his character and I was instantly obsessed. There’s a lot of other reasons why I like Chilchuck, but this chapter is the definitive reason why he’s my favorite. (I also just like seeing a guy when he’s terrified, sue me.)
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viscerawrites · 19 days ago
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oc + wip directory
I have many many MANY OCs, but for the sake of this pinned post, I'm only going to mention the ones I hope to talk about/write about most! My characters are my fave part of writing and my wips are ever shifting so I figured this is more sensible haha. I do have a few actual wips tho!
here are my fanfic-to-oc adaptation fics that should hopefully get started up soon <3
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main series wip - low life landing
smut-centric mini wips here
---
ERAPIAE:
Bronwyn Blearey (she/her) // human (eventual werewolf) & fereian minstrel in training. anger issues and a frankly ridiculous amount of trauma. if she's not living for herself then she's living to spite everyone who thought she'd be dead by now. scary gf of evie & noam.
Evesperangeline "Evie" Lallows (she/her) // human. shockingly cringe fail daughter of two sacred figures from a renowned cultes. looks weird, acts weird, and is proud of it. unironic family disappointment. loves bronwyn deeply but makes her worse.
Noamke "Noam" Vivendel (he/him) // human & fereian minstrel in training. golden retriever puppy boy built like a beanstalk. embodiment of sunshine on the outside and storm cloud on the inside. teenage dad but no one knows that. can't make bronwyn better but will hold her hand and hope that's enough.
Mia Bones (she/her) // half-demon raised to hate herself. subsequently a monster hunter. hater by nurture and nature. grows to love herself in time but is a category 4 bitch until then. lone wolf but not rlly. definitely does not like being subby what are you talking about.
Janikeia (she/her) // vampire & an assassin for the shadow walkers. always acts like she's joking even when she actually means it. definitely keeps blackmail material on literally everyone regardless of how much she likes them. the switchiest switch to ever switch but entirely focused on herself.
Rever Lachrymose (he/him) // religious cult survivor who still hasn't fully broken thru all his conditioned beliefs yet. this does not stop him from falling in love with an incubus (and also being dommed by said incubus).
Cathlis Deveron (he/him) // incubus with a genuine heart of gold and a hell of a lotta tattoos. definitely the embodiment of sin. doesn't trust rever at first but quickly realizes he's just a sweet man who needs a little guidance.
Michaelis ("Murderdoll") (actually he/him don't let the freak show fool you) // black eye of the mother. captured by a "freak show" and forced to present himself as a "terrible woman" named murderdoll. has gotten used to it. still jumps at the opportunity to rid himself of it.
Lenormand "Lennox" Enox (he/him) // human. lovey dovey devoted guy but like in a kinda stalkerish obsessive way. not normal in many ways. definitely masculine but Will melt when michaelis calls him a good girl and yknow,,, dollifies him.
---
ASSORTED OTHERS:
Dallon Saint Ichmere (he/him) // world of navaa // bastard son of the lord ames ichmere. his bff and only friend is his half sister amory. a loved bastard child but still expected to bear the brunt of everyone's ridicule. hates this but is weirdly into it when it's syselli insulting him.
Syselli (she/her) // world of navaa // former child soldier turned right hand woman of the mercenary prince katalan. sadistic and kinda sorta psychopathic but she's trying, for the most part. only realizes she cares abt dallon when she feels guilt for the first time.
Asher Kain (he/him) // contemporary fantasy // survivor of severe abuse who refuses to acknowledge this. typical human who somehow suddenly gains the ability to see into the otherworld. also somehow acquires a werewolf bf, a demon gf, and 4 nonhuman children. he's not entirely sure how he got here.
Eden Jade Heller (she/her) // portal fantasy // kidnapping victim who kills her captor after 9 years, gets dragged into a fantasy world, and becomes a dark god. naturally she's got some problems.
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deadwriter16 · 2 years ago
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shots that should have been in the second season 6 OP
so first of all disclaimer i havent seen any of season 6 and i go on tumblr about once a month these days bc i am so busy but i went on tumblr today bc why not and was greeted with this OP drama bc there's always something new to complain abt when bones is animating a new season of my hero academia! anyway here's this post which is like a combo of ranting and like weak analysis
ok now here's what i wouldve put in the OP:
shot of iida, bakugou, and uraraka standing in the rain and then the shot moves to a wide side profile to see dark deku standing across from them to kinda showcase who the THREE stars of the show were this arc (not counting deku bc he's the star of every arc)
iida, bkg, and uraraka all should've gotten individual sections in the OP with deku which i will explain
the final sequence before the chorus (izuocha handhold) should NOT have been izuocha it should have been bkg and then transitioned to iida and i will elaborate on this
so the part right before the chorus should have been bkg finding deku, and i get that spoilers had to be avoided but my idea is a shot of deku when he's getting dogpiled on by all those people except in a turn of surrealism that avoids spoilers the people instead begin to part like the red sea to let in this light, and deku looks up and his eyes light up and we see bakugou with one hand extended. so it gives the impression that he's important to the arc but it doesn't really allude to the idea of bkg specifically like finding and apologizing to deku because its a lot more symbolic
anyway after that the chorus starts and the scene should flip to deku actually taking someone's hand, but its obviously not bkgs hand and we pan out to see iida as the one taking his hand
so its like prechorus: bkg scene
that quick pause before the chorus starts that every anime opening has, you know the one: close up of deku taking someone's hand
chorus starts: pan out to see deku and iida holding hands
then i would've had like a shot of class 1-A watching them with uraraka close to the front - zoom in on uraraka and then move out and we've transitioned to ochako on top of the building, not with the megaphone or anything but just standing there looking all badass and hot and then we do the wide side profile thing again to see the crowd and like bkg and iida and others in the front and then deku by himself a couple steps forward watching her
and we've effectively avoided spoilers and showed the three important people who help deku get back home
and not gaslight anime onlys into thinking uraraka is the one who finds deku, gets deku to come back with them, gets the civilians to stop harassing deku, and then for some reason is also the one who apologizes to deku, and then later gets killed by shigaraki because shes the closest person to deku as oppose to his childhood friend he's known all his life who deku admires and shared his quirk with first and unlocked blackwhip because of - oh wait actually that was bc monoma was praising bkg and deku was like uh actually that guy sucks *unleashes blackwhip* bc as we all know deku hates bakugou and wants nothing to do with him (big fat /s)
sorry i got carried away and i don't edit my posts so you get to read my unfiltered rambling. anyway point is iida and bkg deserved better in that OP and also. horikoshi is so big on that hand symbolism and it should've been acknowledged. bc such a big thing for me is the way izuku and iidas handhold is so important and bkg is the one who pushes for it and its a kamino parallel, and then when bkg finds deku he likes catches him and stuff but never gets to hold his hand even when he extends it to him and uraraka holds dekus hand but its actually like. really casually handled in the manga? almost like their casual platonic touch is nowhere near the point of uraraka's speech. almost like they're friends who love each other and uraraka wants to make this speech for her friend but also for toga and because shes a hero who wants to help people???
anyway yes uraraka was important in this arc but her important scene was like 1/3 about deku and it was about deku in the most platonic way. like highkey she was like look at this pathetic little man let him in he needs a shower and then she went back to thinking gay thoughts about toga and then deku breaks down and cries because sometimes when ur friends do kind things for you it makes you emotional like when bkg apologizes and the light returns to dekus eyes and then he actually faints.
its all annoying bc i feel like bkg iida and uraraka were all super important this arc but uraraka was important in a way that was very separate from deku and established her as her own person while bkg and iida actually had a lot more to do with deku and then weren't acknowledged at all. istg bones better not fuck up iidas moment in the anime or bkgs apology or anything. i think people race to find the barest hint of romance in any izuocha interaction and i just kind of wish that didn't happen bc the last few manga arcs have established a really nice strong friendship between them and i wish the anime would just adhere to that and follow the manga and trust horikoshi. if u want some attention grabber straight romance kamijirou is right there being heterosexual in the most bisexual way like focus on them
apologies for this incredibly incoherent post i haven't like actually seriously posted on tumblr in forever and this is what I've been reduced to now. this is my expected post quality from now on
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serowotonin · 4 years ago
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falling ; bakugou k.
pairing ( bakugou katsuki x fem!reader ) wordcount ( 2.4k ) genre ( fluff & basically pining )
↷ a hc-styled narrative describing the four stages bakugou katsuki goes through as he finds himself falling for you . . .
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STAGE I ( impression ) ;
the first time bakugou laid eyes on you was during the entrance exam at UA. 
back then, you were just another face in the crowd of faces he was going to have to beat to earn his spot in UA
the first time bakugou spoke to you wasn’t memorable to him either
like with everyone else, he was loud and rude and made it very clear he wasn’t interested in playing friends
after that you became a part of the class, just another extra, someone who’d just get in the way
that was all he thought you were… 
until you kicked todoroki’s ass one day during training
the teachers had paired everyone in the class and told you to practice your 1-on-1 combat skills using your quirk 
bakugou, who was paired with kirishima went first
you and todoroki were to be the last pair
despite a good effort put up by kirishima, bakugou still ended up winning that round
when it was finally yours and todoroki’s turn, bakugou paid extra attention
in his mind, he knew todoroki was powerful and someone to watch out for
but what happened was quite unexpected
you maneuvered easily through todoroki’s attacks with a combination of physical prowess and creative usage of your quirk
let’s just say his ice didn’t work on you and he was caught off guard, allowing you to snatch a win 
needless to say, most of your classmates were a bit surprised at first
bakugou included
they knew you were strong but they didn’t know you were that skilled
whatever the rest of the class thought didn’t matter to bakugou though
all he knew was that now he had to keep an eye on you
STAGE II ( perspective ) ;
after that event, bakugou did indeed keep his eye on you
it started off with him observing your moves whenever the class had to do any training exercises 
he saw you fight with todoroki a couple more times after that
those didn’t end in easy victory for you as it did before because todoroki was now more wary of you
however, the way you evaded and countered his attacks was something to be praised
in bakugou’s subconscious opinion at least
your moves were carefully thought out and bakugou could see that
he could see the effort and practice you had put into perfecting them
not only that, he could also see the natural talent that you had to be able to become this strong
and it wasn’t only your fighting capabilities
you were also smart
maybe he hadn’t noticed it before but he did now
you seemed to always know the answer when a teacher called on you and your grades were great
slowly, but surely, you gained respect in his eyes 
if he knew one thing about you, it was that you were maybe the tiniest bit better than the other extras 
for a while it stayed like this, him acknowledging you but never making it obvious and you just doing your thing
that was of course until one day in the morning before class started
mina, kirishima, and sero were talking about things as they usually were and somehow the conversation led to you
they were talking about how strong and smart you were and going on about stuff
bakugou must’ve turned his head in their direction or something but mina noticed him listening so asked him cheekily what he thought of you
“y/n? of course they’re strong. anyone could see that.”
he said that pretty loudly and didn’t seem to notice you walking into the classroom
and of course you heard
“did my ears deceive or did the bakugou katsuki just praise me?” you teased
he was pretty embarrassed, blushing and sweating a bit but trying to hide it
soon after though, class started and the ordeal was forgotten
but something about that interaction led to you and bakugou becoming closer
closer in that instead of passing the other off as another strong classmate as you usually would, you’d actually greet each other and talk 
you’d say hello to him in the mornings and goodbye after school and he’d just grunt or nod your way
but this was what it meant to be close to bakugou anyway
during the weeks that passed, bakugou found himself noticing you even more
before he only paid attention to your skills and thought about you as an enemy or rival of sorts
now it seems as if he’s just noticing the little things about you and your personality that make you who you were
he wasn’t doing it on purpose god forbid
no no it was just him being unknowingly observant
weeks turned into months and months turned into years
in a blink of an eye, you were all well in your second year
with everything that happened, you and bakugou became close
close enough for you to tease him at random times and close enough for him to ask you to fight him as training
by then it was safe to say bakugou knew you
he knew the little quirks you had 
he knew your different smiles, your different laughs
he knew your favorite foods and your not so favorite ones
he knew the many different little things that made you you
STAGE III ( contradiction ) ;
before the start of the third year, the class decided to have a little get-together party of sorts
to celebrate the start of their last year in high school and to catch up as everyone’s been busy with internships and whatnot
you spent the break away from tokyo so it’s been a while since you saw the rest of the class
naturally you were excited to be able to meet them all casually again before the intense studying and training that awaited you all 
bakugou, on the other hand, wasn’t too excited
frankly, he could do without seeing the class before school
but when he heard you were going to be there, he also agreed to go
so there you two were with the rest of the class at a cinema buying drinks and popcorn before your movie started
the neon lights and the prospect of popcorn lit up your face and bakugou couldn’t help but stare
there was just something, something he couldn’t quite figure out
it’s not that you were beautiful, it’s not that you looked cute in that outfit, it’s not that your smile was making his heart flutter
no it wasnt any of that true though they may be
you just.. you looked nice
thats why he was staring
yeah he hasn’t seen you in a while and you come back looking *nice* 
of course he would stare
anyone would
apparently you had noticed him staring though, so you sent a wink and a grin his way before turning back to the popcorn and drinks
in other words, you killed him
with ridiculously high levels of cute and nice
kirishima and sero were just watching the whole thing happen and hell was it obvious to them
their boi was falling hard
now they knew he’d never admit it and they knew you weren’t likely to do anything about his “crush” even if it was obvious to you too
so…
while bakugou was busy helping you carry your popcorn, they devised a rather devious plan
operation: jelly burst
objective? none other than to make explody boiy jealous
for what reason? no reason really it’s just fun to mess with him and this is probably the first time he’s had this big a crush
once everyone finished buying popcorn and was walking into the cinema, operation: jelly burst was put into action
“hey y/n ! come sit next to me” — sero
so you did, nothing strange bout that, sero was a good of yours anyway, nothing strange at all
bakugou moved to come sit next to you too but kiri hurried past him and sat down on your other side before he could
“oh hey bakubro didn’t see ya there sorry”
the seat kirishima stole was the last seat on the aisle
and bakugou was forced to go sit somewhere else
alone
poor guy</3
the seat he found was a few rows above yours though and all went according to the jelly burst plan
by the end of the movie, bakugou was in the foulest mood and no one, except for the 2 lads sitting on either side of y/n, knew why
operation: jelly burst didnt end there though
see they got him jelly but they haven’t gotten him to burst
the next week at school, kirishima and sero both acted really nice to you
it wasn’t anything out of the ordinary but they did talk to you just a tad bit more than usual
either way bakugou noticed big time and he did not like it
he did not like it one bit
the jelly was there alright
it was just boiling to unprecedented levels
pretty soon, the boys dumped the idea of operation: jelly burst 
mainly cos it was taking too long 
but also because bakugou had become at least 10x more hostile
except to you of course
for some reason, a reason absolutely no one could figure out(sarcasm intended), he was just
quiet around you
didnt yell but didnt really talk to you either
whenever anyone else, kiri and sero especially, tried to talk to him though, he’d shout louder and be a lot ruder to them 
he’s just agitated
and he knew why he was that way
he’s just in denial about it
he’s also in denial about the reason why
why couldn’t he just accept his feelings and act on it already?
kirishima asked him that one day in the dorms
he saw bakugou staring very intensely straight at you without blinking for a full minute
“look man, don’t even try to tell me you don’t like y/n. it’s obvious and i’m not an idiot. you aren’t either.”
“i know shitty hair. it’s just… i’m me. and she’s y/n. nothing’s ever gonna happen.”
“you don’t know that”
“but i do. cmon, she’s just so fucking perfect even with all her flaws. and i’m just the loud guy with exploding hands and no emotions.”
kiri was surprised honestly
this wouldn’t be the first time bakugou was insecure around him but the way bakugou talked about you and how he implied he wasn’t worthy
damn that hit kirishima 
“bakubro, i’m gonna help you”
STAGE IV ( intimacy ) ;
ever since he told kirishima abt what’s been bothering him about you and ever since kirishima declared he’d help, bakugou became more…
quiet
he was still loud, but he just became a soft kind of loud now(?)
it was like he got calmer and he was assured that things would be okay
of course things were not okay
why? because ever since bakugou fully accepted his feelings for you, he doesnt know how to act around you
the other day you asked him what he wanted to eat for dinner cause you were cooking tonight
his answer:
“you”
“umm..”
“-you can make anything you want. i’ll eat whatever.”
that and a lot of other little awkward incidents started occurring
also maybe it was just the weather but he always seemed red whenever you saw him
it wasn’t the weather though
it was him being shy and nervous and flustered
which made bakusquad extremely weirded out cause seeing him like that is like seeing aizawa cheerfully smiling and wearing bright color clothes
it was weird af and was just not right
anyway, mina’s advice to him was to try to get closer to you
“but we’re already close”
“no i mean closer on a personal level. ask her how her day was or ask her random stuff about her likes and dislikes or her hobbies or literally anything”
“oh… ok then”
and so he tried that
he tried getting closer to you by greeting you every morning and sometimes asking you if you slept well
you found it odd
it certainly was odd, but you didn’t mind
if you ask him why he asks about your sleep he just goes red and says he needs to make sure his opponent for his afternoon sparring session is well-rested and healthy
speaking of the sparring sessions…
he asks you to spar more often than usual and actually makes small talk during your breaks
he was also a lot nicer to you, offering to help carry stuff for you and assisting you in the little things
like getting a mug from the kitchen’s high shelves or picking up the pencil you accidentally dropped
what he did worked though and within a few weeks, the two of you got a lot closer
the next step, as mina put it, was “making sure she knew you weren’t interested in her as a friend”
now that was hard for bakugou to do
“it’s not that hard. you could just tell her.”
bakugou: ..??
“basically confess”
bakugou: wha- *shortcircuits*
CONFESSING
he never thought about that
he actually has
he knew in his mind he’d have to do it eventually if he wanted to have you
but he didn’t think it would be *this soon*
“dont think that much and just tell her you like her”
“you’re making it sound easy”
“because it is!”
he groaned internally
he’s faced tons of villains and been in quite the number of fearful situations but the fear he felt now was completely different 
“look if you’re afraid of rejection just confess like this”
*sero clears throat*
“*y/n i like you and i would like to be something more than friends. i’m not going to pressure you into anything so if yoh don’t want to we can just pretend this never happened>:)”
“...”
bakugou ended up confessing the next day though
just not like that
it was a spur of a moment thing and he wasn’t really aware he said it until you responded
the two of you were sparring as usual and you had just gotten close enough to knock him down and pin him to the ground
in that moment you were just so beautiful and amazing and everything and he just couldn’t keep it in apparently 
“i like you”
“w-what?”
“what?”
“did you just say you liked me?”
“like not liked dumbass”
“:o present tense o:”
well long story short, you like him too and you tell him that and you two just sit there grinning like idiots 
from then on things didn’t change much
you and bakugou still talked, although maybe more than usual
and still sparred with each other, although maybe less seriously and more playfully
some were surprised when it became known you were together
some weren’t 
whatever other people thought though, they couldn’t deny one thing:
bakugou looked at you as if you were the world
STAGE ∞︎ ( fallen ) .
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note ; i started writing this soo long ago but then abandoned it cuz thats just me:”] bUT i decided that since its his birthday i might as well finish it up and finally post it u.u,,, also TYSM @animebsposts for helping me with this ily and ur amazing<3
taglist ; ( send ask to be added ! ) @lilikags​
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hizashiiis · 4 years ago
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Bakusquad + “Why are you awake” Part Two
PART ONE HERE
So here’s part two! Fun fact, the song Jirou plays you in her part is actually a song I wrote! I didn’t include any of the lyrics though because its lowkey really cheesy :/
I hope you like this! This one is for Sero, Mina, and Jirou.
Warnings: insomnia, depression kinda
Sero Hanta
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- Sero is very much a hypocrite when it comes to getting enough sleep
- He’s constantly up at all hours, even sending you random texts if he can’t sleep
- But when you aren’t going to bed at a normal time?
- He’s so sad
- He looks like you kicked his puppy and then him in rapid succession. 
- It’s crazy because he seems to just instinctively know when you’re awake
- Like he bolts up in his bed all, “they ain’t in bed. I’m abt to beat some ass.”
- He’s never sure if he’s right though, so he texts you a meme he made specifically for you being up too late
- It’s probably really cheesy and outdated, but the effort is there
- If you respond to it (because you will) he knocks on the wall between your dorms and talks to you 
- Often, you both just stay up like that
Sero’s body is awake before his mind, moving him to sit up in bed before he can think. He was having a really intense dream; something about talking mice. He didn’t mind it, but he woke up as if he’d had a nightmare. 
Faintly, from the wall beside him, he can hear low music playing, but he can’t make out what song it is. It’s coming from your room, though, so he’s concerned. 
The sky outside is dark, clouds drifting across his windowed view of the moon. It must be pretty late; all the noise is gone, leaving nothing but static air, and the music. He leans over his bed to look at the time on his phone. It’s around 2 am. The song you’re playing ends, and he recognizes the next one. It’s on your sad playlist. 
He sends you the meme, as well as an invitation for a hug as soon as it’s morning. You respond almost instantly, assuring him that you’re fine, you just couldn’t sleep. But he knows you better than that. 
Knocking on the wall between you, he hears the music stop suddenly. He calls out to your wall. 
“Mi amor? What’s keeping you awake?” He’s met with silence for a moment before your shaky voice responds.
“I’m okay. I just kinda got hit with some sad, y’know?” He does know. He knows that this happens sometimes. It happens to him, too. But he hates hearing your voice sound so lost. You almost sound hopeless, and he can’t bear it. 
“I understand.” He places his hand up to the wall, wishing he could hold you. Unfortunately, you had both been told off by Iida for sleeping in each other’s rooms more than enough times lately, so he couldn’t just go see you. He opts instead for hugging a stuffed giraffe you had gotten him after the Sports Festival. 
“Do you want me to distract you, or do you want to talk about it?” He asks, stroking the giraffe’s head as if it’s your hair, not knowing that on the other side of the wall, you’re holding a stuffed lion the same way. 
“Distract me?” Your voice comes out only just loud enough for him to hear you, but he understands. He begins to tell you a story. He’s told it before. It’s about a great hero, one who fights crime valiantly, and his partner, also a fantastic hero. He ad-libs parts of it, making pretend villains say silly slogans, and recounting how the heroes save the day. 
As he reaches the end, he hears you giggle a bit. “Oh? Did it work? Are you smiling over there, my sweet?” He calls to you, a teasing lilt to his voice. 
“A little bit.” You respond, playing with your stuffed animal. “If you keep talking, maybe I’ll even smile more.”
He laughs, eyes bleary with sleep, but happy to talk to you the whole night.
Mina Ashido
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- Honestly, she’s no better than you about staying awake
- She tries to sleep, but her thoughts are always racing
- Sometimes it’s thoughts of you, sometimes of new things she wants to try in training, or things she wants to see if she can convince her friends to do
- But she wants you to get adequate rest, even if it’s hard for her to do the same
- She used to get told off for sneaking to your room every night, but then Momo and Iida saw how much better you were performing in school on the days after she’d been there, and they started letting it slide
- It’s nicer for her, too, because she has someone to ramble to as the two of you fall asleep
Mina skipped down the hallway toward your room. It was a bit past midnight, and usually, you would be asleep by this time. It was well past lights out, and classes had run long that day, not to mention the endless exams that were happening at UA right now. So when she reached your door, she was surprised to find you watching a movie on your phone instead of snoring. 
“Hey bug! Why are you still up, don’t you know what time it is?” She says, throwing a grin your way as she puts her blanket down next to you. 
You shrug, yawning. “I could ask you the same thing, love.” She pouts at that, tossing her arm around your shoulder and pressing a kiss to your temple.
She watches you watching your show for a few minutes before saying anything. It looks good, she supposes, but she has a better idea of what to watch. “Scoot over.” She pushes you lightly, giggling as you scrunch to the side to give her more room. “Do you wanna watch something with me?” She asks, holding up her phone. 
You look at her for a moment. “That is what we are currently doing, is it not?” You hold up your phone in return, showing her the paused screen. 
“But I have a better movie!” She insists, unlocking her screen and shoving it above yours so that you can see her pick. She’s right, it is a better movie. You guys have watched the entire Studio Ghibli filmography, but even you know that her favorite, “When Marnie was There,” is the better option at this particular moment. 
You toss your phone to the side, pulling her in to lay next to you. “Fair enough, bubs, I guess yours is better.” You feign reluctance, watching her excitedly press play and tuck the blanket in around the both of you. Her arm curls tighter around your shoulders, and she giggles as the opening credits start. 
“Hey Minari?” You use her favorite nickname, looking at her through hooded, sleepy eyes. She hums in response. “Why is this one your favorite?”
Hearing the question, she pauses the movie, turning to look right at you. She’s quiet for a moment, thinking about her answer. “I guess because they remind me of us! Like I’m Marnie, and you’re Anna, and we’re having this great adventure together!” You feel your face heat at her words, thinking about the movie more critically now. Mina continues, “It’s like…” she pauses, finding the right words. “Like Anna is learning how her friendship with Marnie can make her feel more right, as a person. And I feel like that about you!” 
You’re tearing up now, unsure how to respond. Mina is so many things, and being with you is that important to her? It’s a new feeling, but certainly a welcome one. You pull her down, giving her a kiss. And then another kiss. And one on her nose. 
“Press play, Mina.”
Kyoka Jirou
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- Lol u think she sleeps?
- She does, but not at night
- Were it not for classes, Jirou would be essentially nocturnal
- So you try to remind her to go to sleep
- Sometimes you’ll walk past her dorm at night, and you hear her guitar, softly playing her favorite songs
- Before you got together, sometimes you would sit outside her door and listen to her play
- Not in a creepy way, there’s just a little common area right outside her room and you like took a book there, you weren’t like ooh it’s late i think i’ll sit outside someone’s room and listen to them
- You aren’t Mineta. 
- But anyway
- Now that you are together, Jirou thinks it’s really sweet that you listen to her play
- Sometimes she leaves her door cracked open so you can come in
It’s 4 o’clock in the morning, and the light is on in Jirou’s room. You had come out to go to the bathroom, but you noticed her guitar, and decided to stay. The soft strumming is pretty, and you’re glad to be one of the few people allowed to hear it. 
Opening Jirou’s door just a bit more, you nod toward her desk chair in a silent question. She nods, so you go sit down. 
She’s playing a song you don’t recognize, and the lyrics are sad. Even still, it’s beautiful, and your eyes seem to naturally close, taking in the melody of her voice. She used to tell you her voice wasn’t anything special, but she seems content now to let you listen. 
The guitar resonates with the last few chords, and the ending note is held for three beats. When she’s finished, Jirou opens her eyes and looks at you, waiting for your thoughts.
“It was beautiful. Did you write that?” You ask her, your hands fidgeting with the urge to hold her own. She nods, but doesn’t say anything. 
You don’t acknowledge the sad theme of the song. She’s told you before that sometimes sad songs are easier than happy ones. That the melody is clearer. You don’t mind. All her songs are beautiful, and they reflect her in them, and isn’t that what makes a piece of art?
“I have another one, if you’d like to hear it?” She looks nervous; something you never see on her.
“I’d love to!” Your exclamation seems to snap her out of the anxiety in her eyes, which narrow a little. 
“Just…” She starts, looking away from you to adjust the capo on her instrument. “Don’t freak out, okay?”
Confused, you nod, and she starts playing. 
The song starts out with a few chords repeating in a loop, and then she begins to sing. The lyrics are confusing to you at first, and you still aren’t sure why she’s told you not to freak out. But then she gets to the chorus, and it begins to make more sense. 
Lyrics, in essence, are a poem, and this one is a love poem. Her thoughts, written out, are so sweet and loving, that you’re sure you don’t know what to think. She sings elegantly, like someone who’s never known how to dance, and yet is waltzing perfectly across a shining floor. 
She finishes the song with a declaration of loyalty, and you realize your eyes are watering. She looks at you, waiting for your thoughts. 
You say nothing. You don’t know how to say anything, so you stand, cross to her, and pull her into a hug. She’s not usually one for physical touch, but she holds you tightly. 
“It’s about me, right?” You laugh, leaving a kiss on her calloused fingers. She rolls her eyes. 
“Obviously.”
She smiles at you, pulling you to lay on her bed as she puts her guitar in its case, taking the capo off the strings. “You should sleep. It’s like, morning now.”
“You should too.” You retort, still holding her hand. 
“No.”
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omegawolverine · 4 years ago
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I love it when people talk about things they're passionate about, tell me something cool!! Anything you want, just something you find interesting or want to talk about :D
hello anon my beloved, I am in a bad mood so you will be receiving a passionate, yet lowkey of pissy rant about why villainizing bakugou makes me wanna vomit and its NOT just because I'm a dumbass kinnie :)
tws: child abuse (emotional and physical), near death expierences, bullying, kidnapping, suffocation, lots of trauma in general tbh. if you've seen bnha then basically just keep all the general triggering plot stuff in mind incase i missed any warnings
also, note: I havent caught up on bnha in a minute, I'm at like the start of the war arc but I barely remember shit there tbh so like. probs missing new stuff. also bnha spoiler warnings lol
so, for starters, the homie bakugou has like,, a good handful of issues that come from his childhood that explain why he's an ass. he was always praised and never actually reprimanded for being a twat which led to him having a huge ego that ended up fucking him over majorly. this ego was something that his mother acknowledged him having, but literally didnt try to fix it with anything other than violence. see here:
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like, instead of trying to help him, she hits and insults him, which is probably what led to his weird inferiority/superiority complex. being constantly told by others that you're outstanding and one day you'll be a top hero because you're rude and aggressive and then going home and being hit by your mother for those exact same behaviors is bound to fucking confuse a child.
so like, now that we've established that its definetly canon that his mother (parents? I think he said parents at some point but masaru doesn't seem like the type so 🤷) hits him though we don't know how much or how often (though if bakugou was as much of a little shit back then ((which as far as we've seen- he was)) then it was probably often), lets talk about how regardless of all that 1) hitting your kids as "discipline" not only doesn't work but is abusive lol like idc if it's spanking/popping them on the mouth for talking shit, slapping them across the face "on occasion", etc. shits not okay 2) hitting your kids!!!! does not work!!!!!!!! it is literally PROVEN not to work!!!!!!!! hitting a child who has done something wrong doesnt teach them to stop doing something it teaches them to be scared of you, which will cause the child to withdraw, removing part of their support system (assuming said abusive parents would even offer that up) and will most likely lead to them thinking they're a bad person, not that their actions were bad, which are two different things. so, ya know, that would clearly have an effect on a kid. like, as someone with a mother who reminds me all too much of mitsuki: I have acted like a complete shitbag and taken my anger out on people to feel better in the past because of the way my mother treated me. though it was nowhere near what bakugou did, I still know first fucking hand what a mother hitting and insulting her child will do, especially if they have no proper outlet for that (friends, a safe place to vent) which bakugou never fucking had.
theres also the fact that just talking to your kid the way mitsuki does (saying it's his fault he was kidnapped because he's weak, all while hitting him) is not??? okay?????? ive seen people arguing that this was just a joke in poor taste but like her son was KIDNAPPED and even if it was a "joke" there's literally NO WAY that would EVER?? BE FUNNY??????? she just sounds like the kind of parent who at the very least says shit without thinking that would traumatize bakugou (because being told right after being kidnapped it's your fucking fault by your mother is absolutely traumatizing) but it comes across as her being emotionally abusive.
mitsukis character as a whole comes across as a shitty mom who doesn't realize she's a shitty mom and thinks bakugou being an ass isn't at least partially her fault even though she's admitted to realizing he has always had an ego problem and doing nothing to fix it except for hitting and yelling which obviously did nothing but make him just as loud and violent as she is.
this is obviously not the entire reason why he's a dick but he was never properly taught that the shit he was doing wasn't okay and people not stopping it and/or praising him endlessly even tho he was a bully is basically the same as encouraging it, thank you very much.
moving on from that, let's talk about bakugous other traumas and how he naturally responds to them. hint: it's with either full blown panic or a fight response (verbal or physical, though usually physical. also sometimes it's the panic followed by the fight response.)
so far in bnha (keep in mind that I am not caught up, I've only read up to the beginning of the war arc and i barely remember those bits so) bakugou has...
nearly died via sludge villain (he was unable to move and was being suffocated to death- keep this in mind)
lost for the first time ever and against deku of all people (this nearly sent him into a full blown panic attack, likely because of that sexy little inferiority/superiority complex combo. think of this as like. gifted kid burnout lite. he has always been the best of the best and now suddenly he is being beaten by somebody who has always been weaker than him, which immediately makes him start thinking he was never actually that good, he's actually a fucking failure, a goddamn fraud)
won the sports festival by default (bakugou counts this as yet another failure because todoroki didnt try his best. had bakugou lost to todoroki full strength, he would've taken 2nd place with a bit of bitching, but he still wouldve taken it rather than refuse the medal as it would be a reminder that he failed. instead of accepting that like UA shouldve, the staff chained and muzzled him on live television and then had all might, his fucking idol, force the medal into his mouth. remember the sludge villain incident and how he couldnt move and was suffocating to death? yeah.)
been kidnapped because of the way he reacted to winning during the sports festival (he was aggressive and tried to refuse the medal because he felt he didnt deserve it and was then retraumatized by being chained up and muzzled. his "villainous attitude" was a fucking trauma response, do not tell me otherwise)
was then chained up once again by the LOV after being kidnapped,,, do we see the "retraumatize bkg" theme yet?
"ended all might" (he literally blames himself for all mights retirement because had he just not have been weak, all might wouldve had more time, right?)
my point with all of these is that bakugou has been severely traumatized and has then had his trauma responses (aggression, fight) used to further demonize him. not all people with trauma react the fucking same and the way the fandom just refuses to acknowledge anger as a valid form of trauma response is gross as hell.
moving away from that topic, bakugou has literally never had any actual friends, they all just used him and didn't care about him which absolutely will fuck up a kid, especially one who already has all that other shit going on. bakugou deadass never had a support system or people to help him grow as a person, let alone properly work through his fucking emotions so it's not surprising that he would take out his bullshit on the one person who tried to help him especially considering he saw dekus actions as him thinking he was weak. bakugou was raised to not seek help, he thought somebody strong shouldnt ever need it, so for somebody like deku (who bakugou percieved as weak and helpless already) to offer up help? deku must obviously think bakugou is even weaker than him, what other explanation could their possibly be!
speaking of which, there's his heaps of insecurities that he basically hid by being a twat and bullying others for most of his life. kid was so insecure he bullied deku for fucking years cause he thought deku looked down on him, thought he was better than him, etc. and that only got worse bc his idol then decided to take deku in, train him and even give him his quirk. there's probably some shit im missing but still he's got issues and always has had issues. that being said, he's actually improving and working them out now which is what makes him a really good, interesting character. it's also nice to see a character who is a dick without some tragic backstory (like his backstory is sad but its not the classic "my family was fucking slaughtered and i turned into a raging bitch who murders people" type shit) bc that rarely happens and it's like most assholes don't actually have a story like that they're just assholes lol
now lets talk improvement! lil bitch has been getting better since he got into UA and im so happy abt it!! he had a rough start what with deku suddenly having a quirk and all but like he is really improving now and it highkey shows that bakugou just mostly needed people who 1) didn't constantly praise him and actually criticized him instead 2) actually fucking punished him doing stupid shit and 3) some motherfucking friends
Since going to UA he's gotten actually feedback from teachers about his weaknesses and how to get stronger, he's lost against others, hes been told he has a shit attitude and is a dick, told he should be nicer and leave deku alone, etc etc. He hasn't gotten in trouble too much with teachers but others give him shit for what he does and aizawa has punished him too, while still acknowledging that bakugou is an amazing and dedicated student, something which no one else had done up til that point. and uh???? homie actually has friends who like,,, don't use him and also call him out when he's a dick. like specifically kirishima has done this shit and him and bakugous relationship is clearly very healthy and beneficial for the both of them. makes me feel all happy n shit, ya know
bottom line is: while it is absolutely valid to dislike or even hate bakugou because he is a massively flawed person who has been very cruel to others, villainizing him for the way he acts which in large part seems to be from a lack of guidance, a shitty mother and heavy amounts of trauma, is fucking awful. his actions cannot be fucking excused, he needs to apologize and continue to grow, but he is also a fucking teenager, who is just now being told that the way he acts is unacceptable by people who dont fucking abuse him (and I swear to god if any people who think mitsuki isnt abusive interact with this fucking post I will fullstop hardblock you, I do not fucking care) and actually treat him like a normal person instead of some prodigy child or someone who needs to be fixed.
people are free to debate my points or whatever bc I know some of this stuff is up to interpretation but like. dni if you're just here to say you hate bakugou for xyz reason or that he's irredeemable. also especially dni if you compare him to fucking endeavor yall bitches make me gag.
anyways thxs for the ask anon <33 sorry this is a kinda messy info dump lol
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slytherinsnekxvii · 4 years ago
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hi, remember that murder snily au i'm always talking abt but never have anything to show for? yeah, i've scrapped it like six times now and i finally have a version of it i'm marginally satisfied with. so, here you go, this is the first part of maybe three or four, i think? have fun:
anger
/ˈaŋɡə/
noun
noun: anger; plural noun: angers
1. Normal anger does not split open one's ribcage and wind itself around their heart. Normal anger does not coat itself in venom and sit behind one's teeth and hide under their tongue and lie patiently in wait. Normal anger is not cold and slow and remorseless. Lily thinks that what she calls anger is normal. Lily does not realise that she is extraordinary.
Lily's brand of anger is decidedly... different. What, exactly, makes it so different isn't exactly obvious to her, but she knows that it's not like anyone else's. At least, not as far as she's aware. Hers is a cold sort of anger, an all-encompassing thing that bites and burns and hurts. It's patient, too, winding in and around her ribcage and clawing its way upwards to settle behind her teeth, waiting for a reason to show itself. It's protective, aiming to eliminate a threat before it has a chance to do further damage.
She's... aware of her anger. Not very much so, but it's seen the light of day often enough to be familiar to her. She doesn't know it, though, hasn't made herself properly acquainted with the more... unfortunate spectrum of her emotions, and that is what makes it truly dangerous.
When she feels something scratching at her insides and festering beneath a vindictive sort of justice at seeing Black and Potter and Lupin and Pettigrew suffer the displeasure of the Slytherins, she thinks it's anger. She finds herself in a dusty, unused classroom in the dungeons, helping to refine a brutal spell designed to rend the flesh of anyone unlucky enough to be on the wrong end of it and she thinks it's anger that curls around her and whispers into her ear, "Make sure it hurts."
It isn't. She calls it anger, claims it a necessity, insists that she's protecting her best friend, but she doesn't realise she's mistaken.
The story of the "Prank" gets out—doctored, of course, to keep Black out of Azkaban, and Lupin away from execution—and Lily titters into the back of her hand when she hears it told in bits and pieces throughout the corridors.
"Did you hear?"
"Who would've thought—"
"—bloody idiots went into the Forest! At night! What kind of—"
"—ll five of them, yeah. Can't figure out for the life of me how they managed to get Snape to go—"
"—must've dragged 'im kicking an' screamin', I'm telling y—"
"—Gryffindors, my left tit! Damn cowards just ran off and left Lupin and Snape to deal with—"
"—no clue what happened, but have you seen the scars?"
"—out of the Hospital Wing, already? How—"
"—down fifty points! All because that lot wanted to play jokes aga—"
She smiles, a tiny, smug thing that she doesn't notice, and moves on. The Slytherins are properly riled up now, Rosier and Mulciber and Wilkes and Avery hovering around her and Severus with expressions she can't describe as anything but sadistic. At some point, she realises that their presence makes her feel much less uncomfortable than it did a week ago. She doesn't dwell on it, ignoring the small part of her that worries and shivers in favour of leaning over Severus's shoulder to read about the sort of magic that appears in nightmares.
She grips her wand, idly twirling the twelve-and-a-half inches of willow and dragon heartstring as she skims over detailings of ancient, arcane magic. It's always about blood, she thinks, staring a diagram of a pricked finger dripping red into a cauldron. Potion for Transferring Magic from One Wizard to Another, the heading proclaims. She shakes her head, accidentally knocking into Severus's in the process. "Ow."
He winces a little, and then tells her, "I'm turning the page."
She hums, eyes glued to a book she wouldn't dare look at not even a week ago, and says, "Okay."
It's fascinating, Lily has to admit. Gruesome in some cases and horrific in others, yes, but there's something... mesmerising about it, something hideously captivating in the way that the diagrams seem to eagerly demonstrate their attached spells. On the page, a young wizard is neatly flayed alive, the entire process precise. Her stomach rolls, but Lily can't seem to tear her gaze away for even a second. She doesn't think about it.
She doesn't think about a lot of things, actually, staunchly refusing to acknowledge the way she finds herself drawn away from her Housemates and friends, instead choosing to orbit around her best friend and the seemingly endless rotation of Dark Arts tomes he's somehow gotten his hands on.
Mary's sick of her excuses, she knows, responding to every one with a nod and an, "Oh, alright, then," in that tone that lands somewhere in the middle of disappointment, exasperation and concern.
Marlene has given up entirely, the whole of their interactions reduced to simple greetings in the hall and nods when they pass each other between classes.
Dorcas is nice about it, still catching her arm on the way to breakfast, still offering to study with her when they're all together in the Common and she doesn't want anyone to feel left out. It's undeniable, though, that her smile isn't near as warm as it used to be and it's tinged with worry at the corners.
No one makes it a secret of what they think about her recent activities. And as for the company she's keeping? Well, they'd always been particularly vocal about that.
Things must come to a head eventually, and they do, not even ten minutes after Professor Sprout has dismissed them from the classroom on Wednesday afternoon. She hears the whispers first, half of them from students she doesn't even know, has never said a word to.
"—conspiring with snakes—"
"—think it's the first time I've heard of a Gryff going Dark—"
"—ck was right about her, she's got no—"
Something ugly twists in her chest, and she forces her feet to turn and move, one step after the other. She can make it to the Common Room reasonably quickly, she thinks, and then she catches the self-proclaimed Marauders outside the Great Hall. Or rather, they catch her.
"You can do better than a bunch of slimy snakes, Evans," Potter crows, and she stops dead in her tracks. "Why bother with them when you've got a fine piece of Gryffindor right here?"
"Get lost," she says, the words ground flat between grit teeth.
Potter does not get lost. "Come on, Evans," he continues. "You're not acting like a proper Gryffindor. Where's your House loyalty? I can guarantee that chivalry and bravery are much better than whatever they're offering." It sounds... like a taunt, and this is when Lily realises that what she's been feeling isn't anger.
"Chivalry? Bravery? What would you know about any of that? It's not very chivalrous to corner students four-to-one, now, is it?" She hisses her words, each one more scathing than the last, and as she spits them out, every last one dripping venom, she realises that she wants it to hurt. "And it certainly doesn't seem brave to leave behind someone who needs help because you got cold feet! I'm not a proper Gryffindor? No, I think you've got it wrong, James. If you want to see an improper Gryffindor, the whole lot of you can go right ahead and look in a bloody mirror! I will not be talked down to by the likes of spiteful little cowards like you! I'm more Gryffindor than all four of you put together, but if you're what our House is supposed to look like, then I want nothing to do with it!"
Her ears are ringing when she's done, the whole world narrowed down to one singular focal point, the group of boys headed by the one who'd been desperate to get her attention and regrets it now that he has it. She looks at each of them in turn, summoning a contempt she didn't know she possessed until now. "Save your breath," she snaps, when Black's jaw unlocks, and she turns around and walks away.
Something slots into the place at the back of her mind, and she thinks, oh, her fingers itching to wrap themselves around her wand and whisper the words that will turn them inside out, call the blood from their pores and make it sing. Something clicks, when she thinks about she felt just then, and she can tell the difference quite clearly, very easily, between pure, white-hot, blinding rage and what she's been calling anger. She doesn't know what it really is, and she doesn't want to. She doesn't think about it, either, simply pushes the entire realisation to the back of her head and thinks, oh.
It changes... very little. Something inside of her has changed, and she finds herself growing steadily more unbothered by the voice in her that tells her about old, forbidden magicks of the body and the mind and the blood. It's always about blood.
She doesn't bother reading over Severus's shoulder anymore, the two of them scribbling notes as the pages flip on their own once they've both finished reading.
What does change things is when Rosier corners her after Defence one day, a sealed envelope held in his hand.
"What's this?" Lily asks, eyeing the pristine letter suspiciously. She might get along with the Slytherins much better now—especially after the incident with the Marauders that Rosier had found particularly amusing—but she can't say she truly trusts them.
"An invitation," he says, and before she can speak, he continues. "Every rule has its exceptions. We'd thought there was only room for one Mudblood prodigy, but it looks like there's space for two."
"Don't call me that," she bites, and he waves the envelope at her.
"Think about it. As it stands now, men like Potter and Dumbledore are holding too many of the cards. Men who would let people die and then cover it up to save their own hides. Don't you want to see them get what's coming to them?"
"There's no difference between you and them," she says.
"Isn't there? We've never claimed to be good."
She stares at him, silent.
"It's a new age, Evans. Don't you want to change the world?" he asks.
She takes the envelope.
anyways, i hope you enjoyed that! thanks for reading :)
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indigosprite · 4 years ago
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Chrome Callout post.
relax this is just my love hate relationship with chromes writing and potential. spoiler, it ends with all the love... hate is only in the middle. 
My absolute favorite thing in fanfics is Chromes characterization. Like we all know Chrome is completely aware that Mukuro and co need a reoccurring dose of Valium and a therapist willing to do illegal things in order to lower their sadistic points to ”kind of disturbing but tolerable”. Or at least we hope she does even though she proves to us again and again that she’s not phased by it in the slightest and might actually be just as bad. TYL and she’s still running around helping them do god knows what. She follows them on this massacre pridefully, she “believes in” them ( its sweet actually. They’re what she thinks of when Mukuro asks what she believes in and makes a young kokuyo gang.)
In fanfics when people write her to be a double edge sword it’s hilarious, and it should’ve been the character depicted in the Anime and manga instead. But I guess if she hadn’t been the quiet, breathy & compliant 14 year old people wouldn’t have morphed her into the fanon I enjoy now. Here’s some stuff i love and HC abt Chrome  and the things I absolutely hated.  
1. When she actually speaks not just when spoken to. She voices her concerns although she has no intent of not doing what’s asked of her. Who knew she could speak and still be the obedient gang member Mukuro trusts her to be. And when she does this it’s funny. She is the conscience he buries underneath disgust and amusement for chaos, but that’s not her entire character. She’s not reduced to the mom friend either because of this, she’s too passive on the matter. She indulges/Enables it just the same as Chikusa or Ken, although she knows better meanwhile the thought never occurs to them. To summarize :
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she’s Brian
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2. She’s unhinged and the best part is nobody knows even though it’s blatantly obvious. She may not have the same bloodlust or violent disposition as her peers but there are other ways to showcase this. To Allow Mukuro the leader of this little fearsome Five-some to possess you whenever he feels like and witness whatever horrors he decides to inflict upon someone that day means she’s accepting of literally everything he does. She never resists or expresses distaste/fear for him or anything he does. We assume she would in some capacity because she was depicted as this wide eyed innocent girl trying her best to repay the man that got her to join a gang under the guise of a found family. She quite literally signed up for guts n glory. She knew this and never had second thoughts. Mind you she doesn’t share the same hatred for the mafia as the boys, theirs is blind hatred regardless of who you are. Hers is through them, they are her looking glass rightfully so, so if they say it then their word is law. I’m not sure about you but I would definitely be mindful of the girl who was raised semi normal and willingly turned into a killer for Mukuro of all people. They’re killing adults not shaking them up, they aren’t Tsuna and his friends they finish the job when necessary. The body count is unimaginable. She is just as loyal as Ken and Chikusa and would probably strike you where you stand for speaking ill of him. (She wouldn’t but would definitely be opposed to whatever you’re saying, unless it’s name calling. He takes no offense to that and welcomes it in fact.)
3. The fact that she’s a person apart from Mukuro (physically speaking.) and the Vongola team at all is a blessing in few fics. Although she was made to stand in for Mukuro, when he is released it’s not necessary hence him pushing her to be apart from him and his duties. He did this in the future as well when he possessed Guidio Greco no longer using chrome which lets us know she was successful in becoming a useful comrade and not just a vessel and vongola stand in. She had to otherwise he would’ve left her alone whether she was keeping his Vongola ring warm or not. She is just as aloof as Hibari, always off with her own people only engaging when it’s asked of her. I adore when people keep that in mind and don’t lump her with following behind the vongola as if she were one of them. She shows up for them when asked but her main focus is ultimately committing felonies with Ken and Chikusa per Mukuro’s orders. let her be with the kokuyo gang and let her contribute in the way she’s meant to as a fighter. figure her out give her something cool 
 ik that’s hard considering what we got in the manga. warning things i hate ahead 
what we got in the Anime and Manga: 
so we know Chromes entire purpose was to be Rokudo Mukuro’s stand in, while holding the Vongola ring he soon takes back she is just the girl that is able to get him to come fight their battles when necessary. The Anime and Manga rarely let Chrome fend for herself. We all knew he was coming the second it got serious. By giving chrome that ring she ended up being the one thing to keep him loyal to his contract with being their guardian. If she’s in danger he comes and saves her, the Vongola put her in danger because he will show up and do his job it’s like a rat trap. She is not meant to be a Vongola guardian but more like a Mukuro whistle. They never openly admit it but in the show they will expect/ask her to do things that her track record doesn’t imply she can do and just silently expect Mukuro to show up like always. SKSJDWDN they’ll be like “oh yeah call the girl who passed out and all her organs disappeared I believe in her to do this job even though i’ve never seen her make it to the end of a fight ever not worried at all” sksksjjd They never actually expect chrome to do a job they expect her to go there and manage to get Mukuro to come out and play and we should acknowledge it was just an unspoken thing.  Now I know that despite what I just implied about her not being that great a fighter but just good enough there are two comments made in all 400 chapters that are supposed to negate this.  
Mammon says her illusions are powerful just not enough to fool him , and reborn says she could turn the tide if she were to fight against Mukuro but with confidence, these mean nothing to me because amano throws in so many useless comments like this and then fails to develop it further to make it believable.  and she made powerful characters make note of this so it would be non negotiable and we would just take it at face value because its them but hello ?? ofc we want to see it just like we had to see Tsuna grow before we even considered taking him seriously. hell Dino got a quicker rise to his title than chrome bc its that easy to say oh he can come into his own when needed they just never meant to do it for chrome. 
it’s so irritating when they try to say she’s powerful or could be but give no actual footing for anyone to take those comments seriously when they make her pass out for thirty chapters after doing the bare minimum.
let chrome win on her own not just start strong then step out of the way then have some character say “no really she could be powerful we aren’t going to show you though” .  
when she helped them sneak in the base on her own and even makes those illusions of them fighting we should have gotten more of that!!! 
literally every character is fighting the funeral wreaths and chrome is running in the woods out of breath...even Lambo got to fight. 
you made her sit out of the rep battle to focus on making organs like that wasn’t something she already accomplished in the future and suddenly can’t do anymore ?.....
Chrome finally makes one fighting decision and its to make a mist forcefield that’s dangerous but hell yeah we think she will finally pull through with something powerful and prove herself and then they have mukuro come in a panel later saying “your flames are far too weak to do that I will make it better and help you not die” BYE  that was a perfect time to have her come in to her own seeing as she was powerful and confident enough to initiate it in the first place. 
breaking the barrier daemon spade makes * chefs kiss * give me more 
 when they’re not blindly robbing chrome of character development  she’s just getting kidnapped, passing out  or helping them with small things like making a fake Yamamoto for a party or sneaking in the base with illusions to disguise them. Hello she’s training under mukuro right ??? why did we ever get to see her get stronger each fight and have them say ‘she’s learning quick” instead. 
enough abt what we got, back to what I’ve managed to make out of the scraps we were given..
4. Mukuro is the only one who reassures that she actually is a fighter and she eventually grows to be a good one bc of this and you should write about that dynamic and why it exists more. this one is long.
 the whole dynamic I was referring to exploring is the one where Mukuro and chrome are meant to be equals. He meets this girl whose been neglected and left for dead, another kid messed up by adults neglectful selfish behavior. she willingly follows the boy who is plagued by the same demons and made a small group dedicated to getting revenge for it.  Mukuro & Chrome know they’re two sides of the same coin. he is anger and she is acceptance. He probably finds it amusing she isn’t as angry as them wants to draw it out of her  where as chrome wants to pull out the peace that comes with moving on once you’re in a better place. the girl is so happy to not be near her mom and grateful for this little family while the boys are quite literally holding a grudge against the world.  and like none of them even see it the way she does but she wants them to.  Mukuro and chrome didn’t go through the same things but it doesn’t matter to either of them because its the same story, nobody loved or valued them enough to protect them. In the end chrome will learn to be angry abt things that happen and use that to find a will to fight for something and Mukuro will learn to be at peace because they’re not in that lab anymore and those people are gone from their life. as fighters they’re so important to each others balance Mukuro’s rage cannot be left to be so blind and hers unattended and i know it’s supposed to be Tsuna that cleans his soul but i think chrome definitely plays a more active role in that.  I think he sees a better him in her, he makes her his second gives her his name because she’s the good he knows he can never fully be. she posses a peace he’s not hopeful enough to believe he can achieve or want and ultimately it will make her far more capable of the change he wants. in believing this it means he also believes she will be just as powerful as him with the right training. he’s literally training his demise and her name is Chrome. he wont take over a (mafia) world he wants her to save.  we all know he’s like annoyingly stupid when it comes to showing his emotions, he rather pretend he’s sending you to die when he’s quite literally ushering you to what he thinks is safe and sacrificing himself. so I can totally see him being like  “okay Tsuna might really change the mafia and I want to see that but I've already dug my own grave here's a better newer me that will be way easier to accept than me turning over a new leaf 40 dead families later.” 
5. in the future Hibari is much more happy to help and be around because he knows what a powerful fighter Tsuna turns out to be, i think this is the exact same reason why he goes and helps chrome save herself. Kyoya knows and possibly even respects future chrome enough to save her when she’s at her weakest which he usually detests. Chrome grows to be much more in the future and that’s exactly why he even gives this sick chrome a push. everyone likes to think it’s a Mukuro thing for him but what if it actually is a chrome thing. in the show he’s never been present to witness her show any kind of power so we can only assume that at some point he saw her in action. 
  6. it’s implied in the future that Mukuro fights alongside her, he views her as more than just a vessel and doesn’t baby her in the slightest when he pushes her to become her own being. I won’t call it respect per say but he doesn’t look at her as a doll even though that’s the part she played for him. He still trains her the way he eventually does Fran. We all know he just wants Mini Mukuros to aid him in his endeavors but the fact that he chooses her says a lot about how she’s meant to be viewed. He also chooses a nine year old brat with an apple hat but hey he must see something everyone else doesn’t until he’s done with them seeing as Fran was kidnapped by the freaking Varia once Mukuro’s teachings were for the most part implemented. “Oh you learned under Mukuro ? We can’t have Mukuro you need to join us immediately” (I’ve just realized Mukuro gave the vongola their strongest mist guardians all while claiming to hate them. Funny man). imagine how powerful Chrome gets, even better when Mukuro is actually there in the flesh to teach her where as Fran got some illusionary version of him. WRITE ABOUT IT. 
7. for the love of god give that girl her own fighting style. yamamoto has his sword gokudera is literally baby genius ryohei is a boxer and hibari has like the most random weapon ever. go crazy. i love it when chrome isn’t pulling a trident from her bag. because she’s not mukuro anymore. she’s a reticent mist guardian, compliment that.  Mukuros trident has his own history with him. give her some history of her own.    
in my fic Chrome uses a scythe and tears through reality with it. 
reason:  because she is a grim reaper in her own right. she rose from the dead and is showing up to collect the souls of the wicked. a silent but fearsome person. 
her style ? :  personally I like to believe chrome dabbles in profiling, hear me out. Her parents were neglectful and in turn she really has little experience with relationships in general, i think her curiosity would lead her to constantly study peoples relationships and behaviors and see how they affect her target. aka she fights by showing up getting in your head and haunting you with your own past because even if they see through it damn what a nasty wound or insecurity to bring up in the form of a hell loop illusion. this also ties into her being Mukuro 2.0 he’s known to just be eerily in the know of everything going on even when he’s not there. this would be a great way of her matching that aspect of him and possibly surpassing it.  
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thatfoolsophie · 4 years ago
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okay so. i finished the hmc re-read yesterday or 2 days ago and aside from immediately wanting to start it again, i also found i have questions? what happened to ben sullivan after all? how'd he end up with the wotw? and also miss mandalorian (never can remember her name only the vague shape of it) was a fire demon all along?? or shes the english teacher who always stayed in wales and the fire demon was only the miss mandalorian that went into howl's moving castle (neat trick there) ? am confuse
ASDFJKASJLKFD “miss mandalorian”,,,,, (it’s miss angorian but this is Better). congrats on finishing your reread, and yeah there are! so many unanswered questions!! most of which revolve around miss angorian somehow!!!
to attempt to puzzle out those questions: what happened to ben sullivan? mrs. pentstemmon says “I trained Benjamin Sullivan--whom you probably know better as Wizard Suliman, rest his soul!” and that “he came from the same country as Howell.” so ben sullivan def came to ingary from our world and adopted a new name. miss angorian tells howl when they meet that “I still consider myself engaged to Ben Sullivan--” “Never heard of him,” said Howl. “My fiance,” said Miss Angorian. “He disappeared some years back.” but! for all we know they’re both lying! the engagement might be real or not; if it’s real we don’t know whether it was to a REAL miss angorian or the fire demon; howl could very plausibly be lying abt not knowing ben (maybe he knows him from wales but is too busy flirting to acknowledge the disappeared supposed-fiance, maybe he knows him via mrs pentstemmon but doesn’t want to acknowledge his ingarian life, maybe he’s genuinely like “don’t know don’t care” i really Don’t Know. like i’m not sure that it’s even confirmed that ben is actually from wales, mrs pentstemmon could’ve used “Howell’s country” to refer to the other dimension bc i imagine she’s not super informed on earth geography)
how’d he end up with the wotw? in ch. 1 we hear that “the Witch had threatened the life of the King’s daughter and that the King had commanded his personal magician, Wizard Suliman, to go into the Waste and deal with the Witch. And it seemed that Wizard Suliman had not only failed to deal with the Witch: he had gotten himself killed by her.” we discover later that she actually played magical build-a-bear with him instead of killing him, but there’s that
was miss angorian a fire demon all along? or is she a schoolteacher and it’s just the fire demon that goes to howl’s castle? I WISH I KNEW!! when she’s in the castle near the end of the book she def is the fire demon; the fact that the witch’s curse came to howl through homework assigned by schoolteacher miss angorian, as well as howl’s efforts to keep sophie annoyed with miss angorian via the courting charade, make me lean toward the idea that the fire demon and the schoolteacher are the same, but then again, that would mean that this immortal super-powerful schoolteacher has been teaching literature for weeks as part of a long con (which is really funny). maybe schoolteacher angorian is an our-world ally of the wotw, or promised something by the fire demon for her cooperation! who knows!
in short you are NOT alone in your confusion, miss diana wynne jones just chose not to explain things and i think that’s very fun and chaotic of her.
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autumnrory · 3 years ago
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i wanna preface this by saying im a fan of bucky but christ bucky is the manic pixie dream 2015 wattpad self insert protagonist type character of the mcu cap fandom and i 100% think its bc hes a hot white cis man who's enough of a blank slate for ppl to both obsessively over analyze every little moment he's in and to fill in all the blanks with whatever they want. im not bashing anyone or saying its necessarily wrong to have a blank slate but i wish ppl would just. calm down abt him a bit lmao
(also as a continuation of the bucky anon i just wanna say that this is like something ive noticed over years of being in the stevebucky fandom with how many ppl esp in fic and stuff just make steve play second fiddle in his own relationship and either dumb him down and mischaracterize him so bucky can be the Smartest Best Special Boy or make him an all forgiving saint with no needs or desires so he can be bucky's crutch)
oh my god that last bit about mischaracterizing steve and bucky being a saint sdfks YEAH it happens a lot, i think especially when there's some sort of steve/bucky/peggy love triangle in the mix
but yeah it did get frustrating at a point bc it was understandable post catws when ppl were writing fics and all they really had to draw from was catfa and the flashback in catws to draw from, and post catws bucky wasn't gonna be exactly like that version of himself, even if he was getting his memories back. but post cacw it's like, okay bucky HAS a personality - and fandom has been saying for years that he doesn't, like you are right that he's just enough of a blank slate to take some liberties, but he DOES have a personality in cw, the problem is more that bc it wasn't actually a captain america movie, steve himself didn't get as much focus so bucky especially didn't get as much as he might have if we'd gotten an ACTUAL cap 3 - so it's like. come on y'all can write him as a real person, you don't have to write him as being more in love with steve, you don't have to write him as a perfect angel who's So Good for loving steve despite whenever steve fucks up, which like, again, in fic are often kinda like, would steve be dumb in that way bc i don't think he would! obvs there are different ways to be smart but steve IS smart
i think part of it also has to do with sebastian and that's another thing that does kinda bug me. like let me be clear i do like sebastian and he is a fantastic actor, but he's one of those ones where ppl just yell about how he's the best actor and i don't think it's actually that he's performing better than most of the actors around him in the mcu, it's just that the character he's playing has all the trauma - as if the other characters don't, we just don't see much of it onscreen lmao - so ppl think that makes him more talented than everyone else (kinda think it was the same thing with dylan o'brien on teen wolf he'd shed a tear and ppl would yell about how he's the best actor in the world and fandom used that to push the main character of color to the side and forget about him in favor of the white sidekick ANYWAY that's bugged me forever though i can acknowledge my fave teen wolf ship is half dylan o'brien's character)
but yeah i think it's gotten somewhat worse since endgame bc fandom really loves the narrative that steve is terrible and selfish and bucky is an angel now, even though......y'all like bucky bc you were fans of the captain america trilogy so how can you buy into the idea that steve would do anything he did endgame. but like so many of those supposed fix it fics? would have steve going back to peggy for a WHILE and coming back to be with bucky - i skimmed one bc i was wary of the summary or tags or both and it was like steve came back as an old man and was like "yeah i spent my life with peggy and now i wanna start over and do it with you, you guys can just de-age me like you did with scott in the time machine :)" (as if that wasn't an accident would they even have been able to figure out how to do it on purpose??) that one was horrible - it's like, at that point, if you think steve sucks and bucky is a baby angel with no spine, why do you even want them to end up together? why on earth WOULD bucky be with steve after these kinds of actions? i don't get it
another thing, like i know sebastian outright said he played it like steve and bucky had had a conversation about going back in time - i think he said the directors told him they did like it's not onscreen! come on! i know you don't have to see everything onscreen but...actors/directors saying it doesn't make it canon - so like yeah obvs watching it, it looks like bucky knows about steve's plan before it's revealed to the audience - and hello, endgame steve straight up lied to everyone else about coming back after he returns the stones like how do y'all think it would be okay for him to ONLY tell bucky and not sam, his other best friend - but like idk, my thing is, just bc they said steve and bucky had a conversation, does not mean it's true, you could just make the argument that bucky knew what steve wanted enough to know what he would do - though let's be clear, the endgame ending is NOT what steve ever wanted in mcu canon lmao - it doesn't mean this conversation actually happened because why else would they re-exchange the "don't do anything stupid till i get back" thing if they both knew steve wasn't going to come back unless it was just for show, which still, like, they're the only ones who knew what they said to each other before bucky shipped out in catfa? anyway this bit probs wasn't relevant to anything you said but it BUGS me
anyway yeah i love bucky but you're exactly right about how fandom interprets him and his relationship with steve it's all just Annoying
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promof1976 · 4 years ago
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fuck it. walten files headcanons.
note: these are merely my hcs and i might be wrong on some of these as the series goes on. also some of these are kinda spoiler-ish so i guess watch the series before you read if you want?? idk
- sophie is the eldest of the walten children, and is older than her siblings by quite a few years. they’re both still alive, but she doesn’t really keep in regular contact with them and hasn’t seen either of them in quite a while.
- sophie’s natural hair color isn’t brown, it’s actually black. she dyes her hair bc if she doesn’t, then she looks way too much like her dad and she just. Doesn’t Wanna Think About That.
- jack is around 6′4″, sophie is 6′0″ (girl got the tall gene from her dad), rosemary is 5′7″, and felix is a solid 5′8″.
- susan woodings and kevin w. are related. i like to think she’s his aunt.
- bon and sha have two different dynamics. on the stage, bon and sha act more or less like a romantic couple. it’s more subtle than anything and it’s never made explicit (bc ya don’t wanna make the kids feel weird abt it, ya know?), but it’s There if you pay attention. meanwhile, in the cartoon (and other bsi-related media), sha is more of a mother figure to bon
- when coming up with designs for the characters, jack asked felix if sophie and her two (as of rn unnamed) siblings could provide input bc what better way to find out what kids like than to ask kids, ya know?
- sometimes when jack got really angry, he’d just. smile. this has not at all changed since his death (in fact, it’s gotten more frequent).
- speaking of things that have gotten worse since his death, jack had a little bit of a possessive streak when he was alive. he kept it under wraps (and under control) so it wouldn’t hurt rosemary or the kids (or his very few friends), but like it was still There. he just didn’t act on it. after death, it’s consumed him. the promise of his family being His And Only His again is the only thing that’s keeping him going now, even if he has to kill them for that to happen.
- felix’s wife was a photographer. she’s the one who took that 1974 founders photo.
- felix and his wife were sophie and her siblings’ god-parents.
- sophie doesn’t really like felix or respect him, honestly, and she never really has either (despite knowing him her entire life). her siblings had always liked him, even calling him “uncle felix” (i mean. sophie did, too, but it was just to be polite), but sophie just kind of acknowledged his existence (and vice versa) and that was the extent of their relationship. she didn’t start actively disliking him, however, until 1974 rolled around. after rosemary disappeared, felix pretty much just cut off sophie and her siblings. no letters, no words of comfort, no offers to let them stay at his place while things get sorted out, not even a phone call. nothing. like yeah she understands that they’re not his kids, so he’s not required to help them out, but damn you’d think that someone who’s literally known you your entire life would at least pretend to give a shit.
- rosemary never really liked or trusted felix either tbh. she always thought he was sleazy in that used car salesman kinda way, and part of her even felt like felix was using jack. but he was also jack’s best friend, and while jack could be rather naïve at times, he had very good judgment for the most part. and besides, felix’s wife was a delight to talk with. so she pushed her feelings down and just tried to tolerate felix’s existence in her and her children’s lives. that all changed after june 11, 1974, however. rosemary almost believed felix’s story (that jack had been making allusions to either running away or even taking his own life) at first, but when felix went ahead with opening the restaurant, it immediately destroyed what little trust she had in him and made him suspect #1 in her eyes.
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pbjamas · 4 years ago
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I can't find a crumb of happiness in Hawks's story. Especially not with how transient his life is. For someone so young, he's already considered part of a 'failed generation.' As someone who needs to be surpassed by the kids to bring about a brighter future. Heck, he wants to be. Where another character might look forward to work along side them, he's not looking at these kids as heroes who'll graduate in one or two years and move on to become sidekicks. (1)
But as kids who are capable of being better than him, who already are. It saddens me, its like he's given up already, way too young to already be seeing hope in a new generation, trusting them with that when he's barely gotten to do his very best. What I mean by that is that you'd normally see characters who are all pumped up and raring to go. He's satisfied with just completing his role no matter how it ends for him personally because he lives to give a better life to others. (2)
There's a difference between him and every other kid who has trauma because where they have room to experience, he doesn't. Can we really shove him into the same category as those much older than him, who are actually in a generation that made mistakes from the old way of thinking when he's been forcefully thrust into this role? We have no idea if he'd have ended up any differently without the HPSC's interference. (3)
(And there's a lot to be said on this considering I feel like ALL the heroes we've been shown have reasons for why they think the way they do, even Gran Torino whose lived through the Pre-All Might era and understandly finds it hard to sympathize with Shigaraki. And what do you say about Aizawa and Co.? They're just trying to protect people. If anything, the criticism here isn't in mistakes, but needing to take risks of new approaches. (4)
(And that's what they are. Risk, that not everyone can afford to take or adapt to. Which is why the kids are good for this. Everything is a new start with them.) But I'm just saying it that way bc of some fandom sentiments I've seen.) Mt. Lady is a year older than him. A fame seeker who grew from her mistakes, has the free will to explore and decide what she's doing with her life and solidify her position of a hero. Meanwhile, what's Hawks doing? (5) (wait 30 min, I think I hit my ask limit lol) (Side note from me- i didn’t know that was a thing!)
Besides getting freaking cancelled and sitting there so we can get a story where "the kids don't repeat his mistakes." When. Nothing. Was. His. Choice. Not a choice that he wanted to take! Its not like he wasn't aware and needed to learn! He knew already, he knows what's wrong! But everything ended up unfortunate! Its not the same as other characters, and that makes it worse. Because at least we have other characters correcting and improving while Hawks is getting dragged around by the plot. (6)
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;_; ;_;
I have hope that the narrative will acknowledge all of this stuff. From what i can tell, hori likes hawks and i mean look we got tokoyami rushing to save him and carry him away from danger and also endeavor thinking abt him the whole raid. and i really hope we get to see some more of his story and motivations (what with the little crumbs we’ve gotten and the mention of his father......i think we’ll get some more soon)
and like...................because his life is already so sad rn i think he’ll get his wings back! Like the poor guy needs SOMETHING good to happen to him!!!
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gaychins · 4 years ago
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i’ve been meaning to write about phoenix&apollo rs in aa5/6
but i guess first .. i need to go in what they did to phoenix in aa5-6 and what it meant lol - they frame him as this legendary attorney which like ok he IS but with that you have the judge acting as if he were still a rookie And his character acting as if it were still in aa1, his speech in aa5 against apollo abt trusting in your clients no matter that is Ridiculous considering everything that has happened to him like do we need a reminder of matt engarde? of dahlia? OF ZAK GRAMARYE? of everything that made him lose his badge? using ot is enough honestly because part of his development WAS realizing that believing in your client is just a mean to find out the truth and the TRUTH is the main thing but then in aa5 you have him… giving advice to athena&apollo abt believing in the clients & even belittling apollo for being suspicious when he has reasons for it lmao this retcon of phoenix that makes no sense also throws the entire premise of ace attorney in the trashcan you have phoenix acting oblivious, naive, w a saviour complex and completely selfabsorved (aasking apollo why is he making the case more difficult as if apollo’s best friend hasn’t died? lol)
in aa6 they keep this up with the selfabsoverment (phoenix asking a dude that has KILLED HIMSELF bc of the harsh law Why didn’t he simply go to phoenix like ? ?? ? ?? ?ok) and w phoenix emphasizing on the Believe in Your Clients until his aa2 ‘development’ happens in their last case which is EXACTLY like 2-4 case with maya being kidnapped and being used as hostage by his own client…. there’s no NEED to do any of that since we have ALREADY seen it happen before this is all what he has gone through before and it’s just RIDICULOUS - 
but ANYWAY the point is: they wrote him forgetting everything that has happened to him beforehand and completely nulled his flaws as if he could do no wrong since he is a 1) legendary attorney 2) saviour. now. we add that up with his relationship/dynamic with apollo. in 4-1, when they first met we have apollo idolizing phoenix. we find out he has looked up to phoenix and it’s prob not farfetched to say he was part of the reason apollo became a lawyer as well. so. we have that and then his conceptions/the image he had of phoenix being destroyed one by one as the trial goes - the first time he crossexamines phoenix, he keeps talking about how it’s impossible for phoenix to lie (especially UNDER OATH) it’s not possible for the Grand Phoenix Wright to do something wrong and then, well, you press him and you see phoenix being secretive and more cryptic not wanting to give information at the moment and saying he has not touched the bottle when they, actually, have his prints on it (it does not come to play the reason behind all that it was v wellplanned by phoenix+kristoph was the one to exchange the bottles) because its MAINPOINT is to deconstruct this image of phoenix we have and it ends with phoenix giving apollo the forged evidence as the breakpoint - and then apollo punches him.
so in aa4, their entire dynamic is not the best. we have apollo not trusting him+phoenix being cryptic and using him for his schemes - and even though he is called apollo��s mentor that is not…. what he is exactly? we barely see him until 4-4 where you learn everything abt what happened to him but that’s for the JURORS so apollo is still….. not involved really so, by the end, we have the acknowledge of phoenix knowing since the beginning that apollo is related to trucy and keeping it secret from both of them and using the kid to go against his ex-boss who killed his halfsibling’s dad (and gets his prosecutor friend to go against his own brother as well). tldr: their dynamic is MESSY, they don’t trust each other that much (by the end it has gotten better &even tho apollo has his issues w phoenix he still…… goes after him for validation the scene of ‘did you trust/believe me?’ w phoenix answering ‘not really’ is Smth) &it’s estranged w so many layers on it BUT, as a counterpoint, and like i mentioned earlier it does feel better by the end? and hopeful? with the postcreds we get w phoenix where he says it’s apollo time now so it feels like there’s room for growth between them AND phoenix to learn how to be a good mentor & a reconciliation between the two as bad as the reaction that apollo will have once he finds out that phoenix knew from the beginning about him&trucy lol 
HAVING SAID ALL THAT, we get to the Point of this post: phoenix & apollo in aa5/6. so. we have all that that happened in aa4 and what do they do? just like what they did to phoenix’s entire personality&flaws? it’s forgotten. apollo goes back to idolizing phoenix as if 4-1 had never happened before, with him going after phoenix for validation & simply looking up to him the Most when their dynamic&relationship were SO complex before and this ends up not becoming only a disservice to both but also uncomfortable. 
phoenix acting like he did nothing bad & apollo going after him as a Novice Attorney should just feels wrong & cheapens it down & it makes whatever phoenix say not feel GENUINE. they try to make you think phoenix cares about apollo but for example, in aa5, this is only related to himself - how could apollo leave their agency? how could he accuse athena & do this to both of us? and forgets things such as: trucy being taken hostage in the space place being because SHE WENT THERE TO FIND APOLLO so y’know? why is apollo never mentioned as someone they’re worrying about? isn’t he supposed to be there? and added up with the ‘oh i forgot about apollo’ jokes they kept and how that’s literally the only thing they keep from aa4 phoenix (apollo being the butt of his jokes), it doesn’t look good. 
and in aa6, especially HERE, where phoenix caring abt apollo and being Proud of him is the biggest thing & a supposed ‘closure’ to apollo’s arc(lol) it doesn’t feel good at all bc there’s no proper buildup !! it actually feels even more uncomfortable. with phoenix trying to act like a Good Guy & Good Boss & talking abt how he ‘saw’ apollo grow & how he is ‘proud’ of him while putting all the shit he did in aa4 under the rug AND w apollo not being allowed to be mad at him and only allowed to idolize him as a bonus. 
CONCLUSION: a mentor & apprentice dynamic that could’ve been interesting, a charac dev to phoenix that could’ve made sense&would’ve been good, were all thrown in the trash for an idolized & no wrong version of it that doesn’t feel fulfilling at all.
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thewasandshouldbeking · 5 years ago
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Btw I love how you write Sephiroth. Your text paints such a vivid and believable picture of him, it's hard to even explain that effect. Here are questions abt Seph... 1. How does he feel about calling Hojo your FATHER? 2. How much has he spoken with President Shinra in person?
//Thank you so much!!! I’m glad you enjoy my take on the character. It means a lot to me that folks enjoy my personal take on this character who can really go SO MANY different directions, depending on where you focus.
How does he feel about calling Hojo your FATHER?
His parentage is an uncomfortable truth that like many Sephiroth prefers not to acknowledge. He’s not actually naive enough to think that ignoring facts make them go away, his upbringing was too scientific for that, but there are so many unpleasant things that Sephiroth is so powerless against that his coping method tends to be, “If you can’t do anything about it, it’s better to ignore it.”
It’s made a little easier by not actually knowing it for fact. He suspects. He will not outright confront the man in question, mostly because Sephiroth doesn’t want it to be true, and until he has irrefutable data, it doesn’t have to be (hello, Schrodinger's parentage!) That being said, there have been numerous instances, as he’s gotten older, where he’s thought that Hojo has somehow managed to sneak up on him, only to turn and find his own slightly blurred reflection in some dark pane of glass. 
Sephiroth also only acknowledges Hojo as little more than a (possible) sperm donor. While the man was undeniably a massive part of Sephiroth’s formative upbringing, he never behaved in ways to which Sephiroth would give the weight of the term “father.” He feels he received more in the way of parenting from his tutors and martial instructors than Hojo, and privately that the closest he came to a father was in the often absent, but consistently kind and supportive figure of Professor Gast. (Though again, despite Sephiroth’s refusal to admit it, Hojo did all of the damage an abusive father is capable of, albeit absent of any expectation from Seph of paternal love.)
So any person who would have the audacity to refer to Hojo as “your father” to Sephiroth’s face would be met with a cool, dismissive incredulity. A derisive laugh at what he considers a poor joke at best. He is determined not to let the man matter to him any more than a flea (though with varying degrees of success.)
How much has he spoken with President Shinra in person?
Sephiroth does not speak much with President ShinRa, personally. The man would occasionally visit the labs as Sephiroth was growing up to have a look at him, but would speak instead with the scientists about Sephiroth’s “progress” rather than asking anything of the boy himself. 
It was similar once he began SOLDIER training, though now there was usually the glass of the training room between them while Sephiroth gave demonstrations and the president observed. 
It wasn’t until they started using Sephiroth to sell the war that he started getting much interaction with the president, and even then, they didn’t talk together, exactly. Sephiroth would stand by as President ShinRa made speeches. He would listen as the president spoke to Heidegger about the progress of the conflict. 
Every so often Sephiroth would finally be asked to give his own input, but the answers they wanted from him were brief, impersonal status reports. The president would wave down any attempts from Sephiroth to speak about his feelings and opinions with summary indifference. Heidegger had told him before that weapons don’t have feelings and opinions, and eventually the point sunk in.
The closest Sephiroth could have gotten to cornering the man would have been at the social functions to which President ShinRa sometimes invited him. These invitations were not extended as an opportunity to socialise, however, but for the express purpose of showing off Sephiroth like a prize hound. 
Sephiroth’s discomfort with the strange atmosphere of these functions, and the speed and wit and sheer dishonesty with which the conversations tended to flow around him, often left him too overwhelmed to try breaking through the “better to be seen and not heard” programming drilled into him since childhood. Getting in a meaningful word was nigh impossible.
All of this might have been only somewhat frustrating if Sephiroth’s feelings about the president hadn’t been tied to the concept in the first part of this ask: fatherhood. Because no one had laid claim on the role in Sephiroth’s life, when he’d gone asking about it, he had been told to think of ShinRa as his father. Not ShinRa the man, however, ShinRa the company. 
Still, there had been a brief, and quickly shattered moment where Sephiroth had thought, despite being an orphan, he might matter to the man who provided for his every need and occasionally asked after his development. Sephiroth is galled by the fact that ShinRa chose to assume all aspects of paternal control in his life, but has otherwise left Sephiroth entirely neglected. 
ShinRa is the only family Sephiroth knows, and it has never been his family. He hates President ShinRa for this, particularly.
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