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bratphilia · 1 year ago

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── ★ ˙ strawberry charm ̟ !!

note ✧.*‎ hello hello hello welcome to scream meets fnaf. randomly got this idea after rewatching scream, like, why don't i combine one both franchises in the only way i know how? william afton as ghostface coming into your house and fucking the shit out of you!! and here we are. i spent a lot more time on this than i usually do writing fics so i seriously hope ppl enjoy it. i'm also on break starting today so i'll be pumping out more content from now on going into the new year!

pairing ✧.*‎‎ steve raglan / william afton x reader

cw ✧.*‎‎ college au and scream au, reader is college aged, william is her robotics professor, ghostface!william afton, reader is girly, vibrators, multiple orgasms, perversion, mentions of stalking, descriptions of gore, choking, consensual non consent, break-in, approximately one lick to the pussy, rough sex, dumbification, glove kink, slapping, slight daddy kink, cockwarming

taglist ✧.*‎‎ @dilfity @kissingrhi @iikyutee @ghoulsgraveyard @cemeteryry @gh0stsp1d3r

synopsis ✧.*‎ a man calls you up wondering what your favorite scary movie is.

you hold back a deep sigh at the low-quality horror movie being showed on the big screen in front of you. no, it's not the most important thing in the world, to see something "cinematically excellent" every time you go to the theater, but shit, wouldn't that be nice? anyways, that's not what you're here for. you're here for a date with this guy in your robotics class, specifically.

he's handsy, but so are you. one arm is slung around your shoulder, you're cuddled against his chest, knees drawn upwards, and his other hand coming around to rub circles on your thigh. yes, it's your first date together, after weeks of study "dates." yes, you were cuddling, very heavy emphasis on pda. what about it? it made up for this movie being fucking terrible, so why not.

you have to laugh. nico, your date, had promised chills and shivers up your spine and hoped for your head pushed into his shoulder at the scary parts of the movie. rotten luck for him. you want to laugh at that. and you accidentally snicker, causing him to look towards you. "what?"

"oh, nothing," you say, nodding back towards the movie.

he says nothing, thank god.

finally, there's a good part of the movie. the main character, a ditzy blonde with big tits is tied to a tree while the film's slasher rips her boyfriend's head from his body with a chainsaw. your muscles clench, not in fear, but in delight. you've always been a sucker for gore. and fuck, it gets something else clenching too. you seriously wonder if nico can feel you throbbing when he rests his hand under your chin, gently forcing you to look at him. he leans in for a kiss. no tongue, just lips to lips. it's nice. you notice he put on chapstick and you can taste the buttery popcorn on his mouth.

however, you're interrupted by the creaking of a chair behind you. the sound of someone getting up and leaving. you didn't pull away in time to catch their face, but the noise frankly startled you than any other part of the movie.

the film ended shortly after that. no, the person who left never did end up returning to their seat behind you, but that had long since left your mind anyways. nico drove you home in his silver convertible, the top down creating a nice breeze through your hair. the car ride was silent but content. date successful, in your opinion, shitty movie aside.

"well, goodnight," he says when your door is barely cracked open and you're halfway inside. you silently leaned up on your tippy toes and pecking his lips once more. you ignore the crackle of twigs in the foliage surrounding your house, blaming it on the wind.

the door shut behinds you. you live in a campus house, but your roommates just so happen to be out of the house for the weekend. this has meant nothing but trouble for you — meaning you snuck your friend lacey's vibrator out of its drawer and had yourself some fun. over and over and over. pastel pink with a pretty bow on the hot glued on the end for decoration (the two of you might have done that together). but don't worry about how you know where her vibrator is, that's none of your business!

while you're washing off the facial cleanser from your face in the shower as conditioner sits patiently in your hair, you think about nico. specifically whether or not you're actually interested in him. sure, he's a nice guy, romantic. bad taste in movies but clearly cares about what you like since he picked out a horror film to take you on a date to. and yet, that nagging thing in the back of your head, the one that told you not to commit to a relationship for fear of being stuck in one, had you snap back to the reality of relationships. you'll never be free to just date who you want, whenever you want. it made you frown.

you get out of the shower eventually, still undecided about the future of your dating life, and you decide to put the topic to rest and relax with a classic: nightmare on elm street. or maybe something else? suspiria, the thing, or evil dead? you browse your collection, and stop at freddy vs. jason. speaking of shitty horror movies and sticking to the freddy theme, you think with a smirk.

you slip the cd into the player. super retro, i know right?

you're popcorn'd out, to say the least, so you skip on making a bowl. your movie is interrupted shortly by the buzzing of your phone. the caller id just lists a phone number in your area. usually, you wouldn't pick these up, but you do it anyways. stupidly.

"hello?" you call out into your phone.

"hello." comes a man's deep voice.

you scratch your head, careful not to chip your manicure. "who is this?"

"who is this?" he mimics you, emphasis on this.

you scoff, already annoyed. probably a prank call. "i asked you first."

"look," he mediates, probably sensing your forming annoyance, "all i have is a question to ask."

"alright..." you say. nothing wrong with that. "shoot."

"what's your favorite scary movie?"

you pretend to contemplate. "hereditary," you say finally. of course it's your favorite. it's had your heart since you first saw it in theaters. anyone who knows you knows not to bring it up if they don't want to hear you go on a tangent about it. "it's the right amount of atmosphere with the right amount of gore."

"isn't that the one where the little girl gets decapitated after slamming into a telephone from sticking her head out of a car window?" the man on the phone drawls, testing you.

"yes!" you practically exclaim. you hope you found another fan. not many other people shared your enthusiasm for the movie as you did.

he hums. "that's an interesting choice. i don't hear it enough. a little depressing, though."

"you mean you call other girls asking them what their favorite horror movie is? that's a new level of game i've never seen before," you tease, abandoning the movie to get up mindlessly and head to the bathroom to put your hair up.

"not just any girl," he says with a chuckle.

"oh?" you say, "so i'm special?"

"you could say that."

you smile, staring back at your reflection. you get it now. "you know, you could've just come inside earlier, nico. no need to put on the act."

"i'm not nico," he corrects you sternly.

you scoff and roll your eyes, putting your device down and switching it to speaker phone so you can multitask. "right," you say, unconvinced.

you sort through your collection of hair clips, picking out the right one — "the one with the strawberry charm, huh? that one's my favorite. 's sweet like you."

you nearly drop the accessory. how the fuck? a shiver shoots up through your spine. your head snaps towards the direction of the bathroom window. searching desperately for an answer, anyone that could've just been watching. but no one's there, of course!

"that's not funny, nico," you snap. you're pretty sure you've worn this hair clip to a study date over at his apartment, right? and he might've even complimented you on it. yeah, you try to convince yourself, he's seen it before.

but that doesn't explain how he knew —

"i told you already," the man on the phone's voice is agitated, "i'm not nico."

"then who the fuck are you?!" you ask in a shrill voice, ready to hang up on this motherfucker. you steadily twist your hair upwards and secure the claw around it, letting your remaining hair fall in a ponytail.

"i'll prove it to you," he tells you as if it's the simplest thing in the world. "check the backyard."

you shockingly decide not to hang up for your sake. you would rather keep a close eye on the situation rather than just let something happen to you. you creep towards the sliding glass doors, gulp, then switch on the light, only to be met with monstrosity.

nico's on his knees; you can hear him whimpering from inside, scrambling for his amputated arm that lies in between him and the sliding door. you open your mouth but you can't scream; the only thing you can feel is a shudder that shakes you to your very core. you feel almost weak in the knees, desperate to keep yourself standing on your two feet. there's blood, so much blood. all the backyard porch, your roommates will be so mad and concerned about what happened? how can you even begin to explain this?

you try to do the only sane thing you can think of: hang up and call the police. the thought of this being one big prank pulled on you crossed your mind, but you were too scared not to act. a beat passes after you pressed that little red button on your phone, and the door bursts open. this time you scream.

in a dark blur, you're pressed roughly against a mirror that frames the wall behind the dining table. a gloved hand wraps around your throat. "you stupid bitch, hanging up on me."

you meet the mask of your captor: the damn mask from that slasher movie stab. you were never particularly fond of the franchise. "lame movie reference," you manage to choke out, and you instantly eat your words. he slaps you across the face and loosens his grip at the same time, watching you fall to your side on the hard ground.

you can barely gather your thoughts — your head is fucking swimming — before he's dragging you by your ankle with a strong grip in the direction of your bedroom. you hate how you slide so easily across the smooth floor. you try your best to break free, to run, wriggling your leg violently to shake him away to no avail. when he's dragged you successfully inside the bedroom he closes it behind you, bends down and manhandles onto lacey's bed.

tears spill down your cheeks. this is it. you're going to die. but he doesn't take out a knife, or any weapon, actually, to fatally harm you with. instead, he's rummaging through the drawers in front of the bed. and then it dawns on you and you sit up. that's the drawer where lacey's —

"ah, found it," the man says triumphantly, turning back towards you, pastel pink vibrator in hand, toying with the ribbon. "what a cute little thing. do you know how many times i've watched you get off to this little device? what a fucking sight you make."

your eyes narrow. "who are you?"

he chuckles, then uses a hand to remove his mask, revealing the face of your robotics professor. him? how is it possible you've managed to capture his attention? when throughout the entire course he's done nothing but ignore you, treating you like you didn't exist. always ignoring your questions. shit, he's the reason why you started going to nico in the first place for help in his class: because nico was like his golden-star-student.

"i don't get it," you say, lip trembling as tears well in your eyes. "why me? what did i do—"

"to captivate me?" he finishes your sentence, turning on the vibrator. you gulp like it's your impending doom. professor raglan kneels onto the bed and you wish you could back up but you only hit the headboard behind you. "well, for starters: you were always so eager for my attention. and it hurt me not to give it to you. couldn't blow my cover, sweetheart."

you still didn't understand, but you didn't have anymore time to contemplate or question him. he was spreading your legs, splitting open a space under your short, pink skirt for him to gain access to the area between your legs. you fumble with the sheets, holding them in a death grip. you definitely ruined your manicure. once your skirt bunches up around your hips, it reveals your panty-less mound. of course. you didn't think to wear anything after your shower because it wasn't like you were going out.

your professor whistles lowly, pupils dilating in desire. it's perverted, the way he puts down the vibe, and grabs your hips upwards so he can get a closer look at your pussy. you throb subconsciously, making him look back up at you with a quirked brow. he leans forward to blow air on you, eyes still steady to gage your reaction. you whimper and wriggle in his grasp, face heating up in embarrassment. "you just have the cutest little cunt," he comments when he pulls away, then sticks his tongue out to lick a stripe up your pussy. "mmm, even sweeter, too. sweeter than the little strawberry in your hair."

"ohh," you coo. you hate to admit how good it feels, but here you were, arching your back in his touch and moaning.

"yeah?" he asks, taking his mouth off of you for a moment. "my baby like it when i eat her dripping pussy?"

you sniffle, not answering. you can't find it within you to be able to. "no? maybe i'll stop and move on then." you want to cry, fuck. a feeling of relief settles back in when he takes the vibrator back in his hand. the low hum grabs your attention — not like you could zone out at a time like this anyways.

when the device meets your needly clit you groan, flex your fingers at the sheets. "oh, fuck," you whisper. his eyes never leave your face, and every time you regrettably look at him, he's breathing heavily, open mouthed, like he just can't get enough of you. so you avoid looking at him, going through stages of keeping your eyes closed or looking up at the ceiling, praying for sweet release to whatever cruel deity is looking upon you getting fucked by this old man.

the vibrations against your clit are a little too good to be true. you can't help but feel like there's a price, one you'll specifically have to pay with his dick inside you. you wonder if it'll be lame like the other guys you've had, but honestly? you could get off to the thought of this situation, and you'll definitely remember this for future masterbation-sake. you're a freak like that.

raglan presses down on your stomach, iliciting a hiss from you through your teeth. "want you to come all over my arms," he tells you, "coat my gloves, you'll make me so happy."

fuck, then you get an idea. the gloves inside of you. you throb once more at the thought. "i-inside," you murmur, hoping he'd get the message.

"huh? what's that, baby?" he asks mockingly, but you know damn well he heard you. please don't make me said it, you think.

you reach down to touch his free hand, guiding it towards your entrance. "want my fingers inside you, hmm? baby needs something inside her to feel satisfied?"

"mhm," you hum with a nod of your head. he slowly slips a gloved finger inside you, the fabric deliciously creating friction that makes you grind on his hand. he looks up at you with a dirty smile, then reaches forward to kiss you as he pumps his fingers in and out of you ever so slowly. it's perfect. the stimulation of the vibrator combined with the feeling of his clothed hand is enough to make you burst.

and you do gracefully. so much that he pecks your cheek, tells you how much of a good girl you are for him, as lewd 'ah's tumble from your lips uncontrollably. you buck against his hand until he pulls is out of you, whining at his removal.

"i know, sweetheart, i know," he sympathizes after you, "daddy's cock's gonna be inside you soon, though. then you'll have something else to play with."

you're already exhausted from your first orgasm, somewhat unsure of how you're going to take the next, but you can hardly think about that now. you're drunk off the atmosphere between you two, nico's amputation is far forgotten. you can't even remember what you were doing before this. your hair is tussled in a way that has your hair clip drooping down the side of your shoulder loosely, but you don't have any energy to fix it. all you can think about is daddy's — wait, when did he become daddy? — cock inside you, and that's all that matters.

raglan begins to grind his bare cock against your entrance, having discarded his black slacks moments ago. he rubs the tip against you, purposefully bumping against your click, drawing out a symphony of noises — babbles along the lines of "please, just put it in, i can't take it anymore" — as your face contorts in a sob and tears fall down your cheeks again.

"my girl is such a crybaby," he chuckles, then slowly guides your hips to slide down on his cock. he fills you up by the inch, making you feel every ridge and vein. the stinging sensation of not being adjusted to his length washes over you in a surprisingly pleasurable wave. "so fucking tight," he gasps. he lets out his respective groans once he's fully sheathed inside of you.

then he starts moving; then things start to get good. you're not fully adjusted to his length, but the way you're leaking around him makes for perfect lube. what's a little pleasure without pain? it could be worse, you could be on the floor writhing in pain with multiple stab wounds, but instead you were being stabbed by his dick inside of you, so you weren't in a position to complain.

raglan leans down so his body is on top of yours, keeps himself steady by planting one hand to the side of your head as he aggressively snaps his hips into yours. you realize, in this moment, just how desperate he's probably been for this. not like you could do much thinking, but the way he was pistoning inside you said enough about how he felt. and god you felt good, clenching and unclenching around him, making the prettiest noises he's ever heard.

one particularly hard thrust has your head swimming, like it did when he slapped you. you want him to slap you again, so you initiate it in the only way you know how; reaching forward to land a weak hit across his face. he stops moving for a second, shocked. then with a swift whack across the face, he's back to thrusting inside of you, even harder this time around. "wanted me to hit you so bad, you could've just asked you dumb little slut," he growls into your ear.

"''m sorry," you have the audacity to giggle, "couldn't tell you."

"yeah? am i fucking you that stupid?" he asks, "'course, i don't expect you to able to answer that."

he flips you over suddenly so you land on your stomach, putting himself back in, fucking you with reckless abandon. the way his cock is hitting your g-spot right now has you plummeting over the edge. you wriggle your hips backwards to help him get off too, which he does right inside of you, filling you up to the brim.

he doesn't pull out. he's waited too damn long for this to do so. he's gonna enjoy a nice, long time inside of you, whether you like it or not. he collapses on his side, pulling you close to him so that he's spooning you. the most important thing to him in that moment, is your half-awake form rising and falling with each breath against him with his cock buried deep inside of you, strawberry charmed hair clip discarded somewhere by the pillows.

#fnaf #fnaf x reader #five nights at freddy's #fnaf smut #william afton #steve raglan #william afton x reader #william afton smut #🎀 — diary entry

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lumine-no-hikari · 2 months ago

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Dear Sephiroth: (a letter to a fictional character, because why not) #429

Today was a very unbusy day. Aside from the plan to go get sushi later with Ja, I didn't have much of anything to do. So I decided to sit and play Hades for a while.

During that time, I managed to send Hades back home three times in a row. I got them on video for you, because plot stuff happened after that, and... I think you'll find a number of the points relatable. Here...

youtube

Sorry if the third video is a little weird; it was time to go to the sushi place in the middle of the fight, and so I had to stop recording and leave my laptop on pause until I came back. So, I started recording again once I returned, and then I had to stitch the videos together in ClipChamp.

...I don't like ClipChamp very much because it makes the audio and video weird after the fact. But that's all I've got for now.

Well, in any case, J and I went to go see Ja at the sushi place. His job has been kicking his butt lately; he's gotta work 6 days every week, so it's been hard to find the time to hang out. Still, we message each other with some frequency, and he's a delight to be around. Very smart. And he's done a great deal of work on himself, too.

We talked about a variety of things, from the state of my my world at large to the various things happening in our lives. Naturally, I spoke of An. Ja had some wisdom to impart that prompted me to rethink my various thoughts and feelings about it. It boils down to this: I'm just gonna hafta be brave. I just don't really know how yet.

...I am not nervous around Ja. And I know I shouldn't be nervous around An, either. I can't tell you why my brain does how it does. It's very weird and I don't like it.

...I have to get it together.

In any case. We got a bunch of yummies at the sushi place that I wished I could share with you. Sadly, the best I can do is send along these pictures...

…

...I think, ultimately, I'm nervous around An because I feel ashamed and guilty about the fact that I find him attractive despite the fact that I barely know him at all. I feel like I shouldn't be attracted to people I don't know. And I feel like I shouldn't be attracted to people unless I know for certain that they're attracted to me. Which he almost certainly is not, because... I mean... c'mon. Look at me. You've read my letters up to this point and you know who I am; nobody sane wants a sad, awkward, insecure little goblin who eats too much cheese and consistently does, at best, a mediocre imitation of being a person.

I feel like unwarranted attraction does both me and the other person a terrible disservice. An is a person, not something upon which to apply a template of who I imagine him to be. He's a person, not something to daydream about. And... quite frankly, I feel somewhat disgusted with my brain about the fact that it's having all these weird feelings without my permission.

...I see the kind behavior towards others that he does. That is what my brain is zeroing in on. That is the entire basis upon which I'd like to spend more time with him. But... that by itself isn't anything substantial to base anything off of. Lots of people can act kind until they get behind closed doors. Like my mother. My stepmother. And my ex-partner S. And lots and lots more. My brain has absolutely no business trying to extrapolate from surface-level behavior, and I hate that my brain is trying to do that anyway. It's not fair on him.

I feel as though being attracted to An is inherently dehumanizing to him because I don't know who he is. I don't wanna do to him like others have done to me. I don't wanna end up building some false image of who he is, inside my brain. I think I see someone kind and good there, but... I don't know if that's actually true. And I'm afraid that if I ask for more time and more conversation to find out, I'm gonna be written off as “clingy”, “controlling”, “attention-seeking”, or just plain “annoying”. It's all stuff that's been said to me before by various people.

...Ja pointed out that it's no good to be friends with a person like that anyway. But... I dunno. I guess I'm afraid of being presented with more “evidence” that I don't quite fit in with other people, or more “proof” that I'm some repulsive, strange, and unwelcome thing that'll never quite belong.

...I wish that my brain would stop interpreting any and all rejection or even faint hints of rejection as “proof” that those who hurt me were right about me the whole time. Because, while rationally I understand that it just means I am incompatible with the specific person who rejected me, it still feels in my body like someone is squeezing my chest and trachea shut with their fists. And I'm annoyed at that, too, because it doesn't make any freaking sense; I'm not a helpless little girl anymore. And I'm surrounded by people who love me no matter how awkward I am, so like... what gives??? Literally, what is there for me to be afraid of besides a whole lot of nothing???

It's really stupid that I understand the mechanics and yet my brain insists on doing an irrational anyway. None of this is An's responsibility to deal with, so... I'm not gonna put any of this on him. I'm gonna deal with it by myself. It's not his fault that my brain is doing a bunch of bullshit nonsense. I'll... I'll figure out something.

...I guess I'll go craft something weird about it. It's chilly down here where my laptop is, anyhow. I need to be under a blanket, focused on literally anything else right now besides how cold my feet are.

...Thanks for putting up with my prattling as I try to stop my constipated brain from exploding everywhere over nothing.

Hey. Stay safe out there, will you? Both in your world at large, and within your own mind. Because I love you and I don't want any more bad things to happen to you.

I love you. I'll write again tomorrow.

Your friend, Lumine

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witchywithwhiskey · 11 months ago

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Happy Saturday! 🍾

Last night you found out your boyfriend was cheating on you and after dumping that sad sack of shit you're going out, looking for a rebound.

Bartender Steve: He's seen the look in your eyes before and he instantly hates to see you sad, even if he doesn't know you. Luckily it's an easy night and he has a lot of time to talk to you. He gladly offers to get you back in the game after his shift is done.

Owner Lloyd: He sees you dancing and is mesmerized by the way you look. It's unusual for him to be on the dancefloor but he can't resist the pull of you. Together you sway on the floor and he whispers dirty and delightful promises in your ear.

Bouncer Bucky: Some random guy has trouble understanding the word no and when Bucky sees your peril he quickly grabs the dude and throws him out. Afterward he takes you in to a small back room to make sure you're okay. He offers to make sure you get home safe at the end of the night.

Who will it be that'll help you forget your ex? 🤔

ahh happy sunday!! i saw this yesterday but was too busy cleaning/unpacking to respond, but you bet i was thinking about it the whole time. so here's where i landed:

Owner Lloyd might be a fun time if i'd been single for a little while, but i'm just not the type of person who's gonna be out on the dance floor immediately after a break up 🫤 (and if i am, it's only because i'm surrounded by friends/have no interest in getting a man—but then, i could absolutely see Lloyd taking that as a challenge 😅).

Bouncer Bucky was almost my choice, but tbh, i'm not the girl that guys approach at bars—i have seriously perfected the intimidating, do-not-fucking-talk-to-me vibe. frankly, if i were actually in a situation where i'd just been cheated on, and some guy tried to hit on me without taking no for an answer, Bouncer Bucky would probably need to pull me off him before i broke his nose. (i've never actually gotten into a physical fight but, in the right circumstances, i could see it happening.) but, y'know, if Bucky has to "throw me out" and he brings me some ice water to cool down and we end up talking all night while i sit with him by the door while he works, then that'd certainly take my mind off my ex 😅

BUT that wasn't the question. as you can probably tell, i'm going with Bartender Steve, which is because he's the only one that feels kind of familiar. like maybe we don't KNOW each other, but i like to think he's the bartender at my favorite dive bar, where i go with my friends but never my ex because it was my comfort place. so Steve and I know each other in passing, but he's never seen me come in alone, or sit at the bar. so he strikes up a conversation and he ends up offering to help me get back out there. but in true romcom fashion, i end up falling for him. not right away, of course. first we become friends, and slowly begin spending all our time together and eventually we fall in love. (he'll have to make the move to take things further, though, because i will be oblivious if he tries to drop any hints.)

thank you for sending in this ask, it was so fun!!! ♡♡♡

#molly answers asks #veltana #lloyd hansen #bucky barnes #steve rogers

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mur-art · 1 year ago

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A Calivada Essay in Song Lyrics

Lowkey inspired by @sleepdeprivedsimp234's song lyrics posts I decided to let my instincts win and put together a post full of song lyrics that are Calivada-coded to me. (Since the latest episode got me fully back on my Calivada bullshit. You could say they took a high-speed rail straight into my heart. )

The songs are roughly in order with how I picture the progression of their relationship. It starts with the early days of the Gold and Silver rushes and the Wild West, marked with periods of stormy and reckless whirlwind romance. Then it progresses into the early 20th century, with them growing apart, and yet together: Nevada finding his identity in casinos and sin, and California giving into the hedonism of Hollywood. Somewhere along the line, they became on-and-off again FWB, coming together when they're drunk, or lonely, or hopeless... or all of the above, locked in a frankly toxic and tumultuous co-dependent relationship. Not quite enemies, not quite lovers, definitely not friends... (or so they'll say).

Just... them. Anyway...

A bunch of these have been compiled from suggestions from various people over the past year-ish and some are just my shitty millennial taste in mid-2000s pop rock.

Link to actual playlist here

PART 1: "We're meant to be together like silver and gold"

California and Nevada meet for the first time. There's an immediate attraction to each other-- is it really love or is it simply a lust for the sparkle of silver and gold? Either way, it's a force of nature when they come together.

Silver and Gold- Parade of Lights (Cali's perspective)

Can you let me in if I take you home? / I'm never giving up 'cause I can't let go / I feel it in the air, feel it in my bones / We're meant to be together like silver and gold

Silver Stallion- The Highwaymen (Cali's perspective)

I'm gonna find me a reckless woman / Razor blades and dice in her eyes / Just a touch of sadness in her fingers / Thunder and lightning in her thighs

And we're gonna ride / We're gonna ride / Ride like the one eyed jack of diamonds with the devil close behind / We're gonna ride

Reckless Love- Bleachers (Nevada's perspective)

So give me a chance to remember / What I've given up to defend ya / I would burn my dreams away / Just to stand in the thankless shadows of your reckless love

gold rush- Taylor Swift (Nevada's perspective)

What must it be like / To grow up that beautiful? / With your hair falling into place like dominos / I see me padding 'cross your wooden floors / With my [49ers] t-shirt hanging from the door / At dinner parties / I call you out on your contrarian shit / And the coastal town We wandered 'round had never / Seen a love as pure as it / And then it fades into the gray of my day old tea / 'Cause you know it could never be

Stardust- MIKA (Nevada's perspective)

I could put a little stardust in your eyes / Put a little sunshine in your life / Give me a little hope that you'll feel the same And I wanna know if I'll see you again / See you again Funny how the time is rushing by / And all the little things we leave behind / But even then, in everything I do / Is a little bit of me, a little bit of you / When will I see you again?

Addict- Silva Hound (I think this is from Hazbin Hotel lmao) (Nevada's perspective)

So what if I misbehave? It's what everybody craves / You already know / So come if you're feeling brave / And fancy yourself a mate

You want it, I got it, see what you like? / We could have it all by the end of the night / Your money and power, my sinful delight / A hit of that heaven and hell, a hell of a high

PART 2: "We are brief summer lightning (we are sparks that spiral upwards in the darkness in the night)"

As they spend more time together, their affection for each other grows. They'll deny that they were ever in love, but the history between them doesn't lie.

Wild as You- Cody Johnson (Cali's perspective)

You're like wakin' in the morning by a mountain stream / You're like watchin' an eagle floating on the breeze / And as I listen to you dreaming by my side / I wish I could call you mine

But you belong where the four winds blow / Out where the untamed mustang roam / Like a sweet summer rain passin' through / Never seen anything wild as you

Hymn for the Weekend- Coldplay (Cali's perspective)

Oh, angel sent from up above / You know you make my world light up / When I was down, when I was hurt / You came to lift me up / Life is a drink and love's a drug / Oh, now I think I must be miles up / When I was a river, dried up / You came to rain a flood

Summer Lightning- Garnet Rogers (Nevada's perspective)

We are brief as summer lightning / We are swift as swallow's flight // We are sparks that spiral upward in the darkness in the night / We are frost upon a window / We won't pass this way again / In the end only love remains

Peaceful Easy Feeling- The Eagles (Cali's perspective)

I like the way your sparkling earrings lay against your skin so brown / I wanna sleep with you in the desert tonight / With a billion stars all around

Death Valley Queen- Flogging Molly (Nevada's perspective)

Death valley queen where have you been? / Since they crowned you in glory / Filled your head with dreams / But it still goes to show in every desert / There's a rose that's bloomin' for all to be seen

House of Memories- Panic! At the Disco (Nevada's perspective)

Those thoughts of past lovers, they'll always haunt me / I wish I could believe you'd never wrong me / Then will you remember me in the same way as I remember you?

Baby, we built this house on memories / Take my picture now, shake it 'til you see it / And when your fantasies become your legacy Promise me a place / In your house of memories

Joy Ride- The Killers

(I showed enough restraint to wait until ALL THE WAY DOWN HERE to include a Killers song. Y'all should be proud /s )

It's gettin' close to sundown over the Sierra / Stranded on the heatwave, burnin' with desire / She was on the sidewalk, looking for a nightlife / We talked about the real things and drove into the fire

Headlights on the highway, the desert wind is howlin' / Rattlesnakes and romance are spillin' with the rain / Candy apple red dress, bleedin' when she kissed me / Heaven a ragtop, take away my pain

PART 3: "Just call me angel of the morning, angel..."

The relationship has lost its initial shine and turned tumultuous. Difference in personality emerge and disagreements become common. And yet, they still can't keep their hands off each other... maybe they both like the drama. They are both performers, after all...

The Way it Was- The Killers (Nevada's perspective)

I drove through the desert last night / I carried the weight of our last fight / Elvis singing "don't be cruel" / And I wonder if you feel it too / It's like we're going under

Somewhere outside the lonely Esmeralda county line / The question of my heart came to my mind

If I go on with you by my side / Can it be the way it was when we met? / Did you forget all about those golden nights?

Bend and Break- FM-84 feat. Ollie Wride (Cali's perspective)

Leave your reason at the door / 'Cause the writing's on the wall / The sunshine's gone / Maybe it's too soon to call / But we've both been here before , so I'm waiting on

No our music it ain't done, 'cause I found our revelry / In the highways and the dancehalls that filled our history

Angel of the Morning- Juice Newton (Nevada's perspective)

There'll be no strings to bind your hands / Not if my love can't bind your heart / There's no need to take a stand / For it was I who chose to start / I see no need to take me home / I'm old enough to face the dawn

Just call me angel of the morning, angel / Just touch my cheek before you leave me, baby / Just call me angel of the morning, angel / Then slowly turn away from me

Body- Jordan Suaste (1st part- Cali's perspective; 2nd part- Nevada's perspective)

Body, let me see your body / Take off all your makeup and your clothes / Trust me, why don't you just trust me? / You're the only beauty, show me more

You're not a dime a dozen / Oh, your skin is golden / Let me show the whole damn world / You're one in a billion / The only thing you're missin' / Is some tape over that mouth

BABY SAID- Maneskin (Cali's perspective; Nevada is "baby")

Baby said "When you're talking, I go dead" "Shut your mouth, give me your head" (uh-uh-uh-uh) I know you really want to Baby said "Let me taste your silhouette" "You can talk between my legs" (uh-uh-uh-uh) I know you really want to

Faithless- The Airborne Toxic Event (Cali's perspective)

I wake up early my head ain't right / It's the fever dream of what we did last night / I flex my fingers and feel my age / Fifteen minutes till we take the stage / And I call you when I wake up drunk / My arms are cold and my head is sunk / They say the lights go up at ten PM / Just make sure you're okay by then

Neon Medusa- The Midnight (Either one tbh)

It's a highway, highway to the dark / And a neon medusa's got your heart / Sweet canyon lullabies, don't look straight into its eyes

Alone Together- Fall Out Boy (Both)

Cut me off, I lost my track / It's not my fault, I'm a maniac / It's not funny anymore, no it's not / My heart is like a stallion / They love it more when it's broken / Do you wanna feel beautiful, do you wanna? / I'm outside the door, invite me in / So we can go back and play pretend

and also

This is the road to ruin, and we're starting at the end

PART 4: "I only love you when I'm drunk"

Fast-forward to today (well, the past few decades, really), and they're THOSE TWO drama-Filled Frenemies With Benefits (although the benefits are debatable at this point).

Jilted Lovers and Broken Hearts- The Killers (Nevada's perspective)

Why did you roll your dice, show your cards? / Jilted lovers and broken hearts / You're out on the wind and I'm still waiting to be found

Yeah, will I ever win? / Only time will tell / You've gotta suffer to remember how well / That our ideals never really marched in time / That's the bottom line / Jilted lovers and broken hearts

Getting Even- White Lies (Cali's perspective)

If you're getting even, you're getting even / Trying to get even, better start believing / I can forgive and we can forget / Even after all this wrestling of conscience / I can forgive and we can forget / Even after all this love and other nonsense

Love You When I'm Drunk- MIKA (Both)

Don't get me wrong, last night I didn't change my mind / It was the drink, it was leaving me blind / And when I kissed you, it was such a big mistake / A couple drinks, that's the chance that I take

We All Get Lonely- The Wrecks feat. TOMI (Nevada's perspective)

You're so in love with self-destruction / You're bringing me down

Why'd you come over? / Are you sober? / Are you playing around?

You touch me gently / But it's empty / You should figure it out

Don't say, say you love me, need me / Until you've had your fun / Use me when you get lonely / We all get lonely / You're not the only one

FUCK ABOUT IT- Waterparks (Nevada's perspective)

I like you but I need some space / I like you kinda far away / It's not hard to kill a day lookin' at your face / I like you but I need some room / Been givin' me your attitude / It doesn't always stay that way / I hate the aftertaste

Ancient History- Set it Off (Both)

Damn, pick up the phone, I know I'm drunk again / And you, know my intentions 'cause it's two a.m. / It's fun and games until we both get hurt / We play with fire 'cause we like the way it burns / No use in patching up a sinking ship / This is the last time we do this, baby / This is the last time you taste my lips

I know, I know how to drive you wild / You know, you know how to make me smile / But I need you to be / My ancient history

I know, I know who you really are / You know, you know how to break my heart / But I need you to be / My ancient history

Walk Me Home- P!nk (California's perspective-- despite everything that's happened between them, he still goes to Nevada when he's hurt and lonely)

Walk me home in the dead of night / I can't be alone with all that's on my mind / So say you'll stay with me tonight / 'Cause there's so much wrong going on outside

Till It Shines- Bob Seger (Nevada's perspective; reflecting on California's loneliness)

Storm the walls around this prison / Leave the inmates, free the guards / Deal me up another future / From some brand new deck of cards

Take the chip off of my shoulder / Smooth out all the lines / Take me out among the rustling pines / 'Til it shines / Oh 'til it shines

Like an echo down a canyon / Never coming back as clear / Lately I just judge the distance / Not the words I hear

and this part:

See the rich man lost and lonely / Watch him as he dines / Sitting there just testing all the wines / 'Til it shines

AND OF COURSE...

Waking Up in Vegas- Katy Perry

I think this one speaks for itself, BUT...

Spare me your freakin' dirty looks / Now don't blame me / You want to cash out / And get the hell outta town / Don't be a baby / Remember what you told me

Shut up and put your money where your mouth is / That's what you get for waking up in Vegas / Get up and shake the glitter off your clothes now / That's what you get for waking up in Vegas

#i MAY have thought about this a bit...#these two always live rent-free in my head #wttt calivada #long post #song headcanons #wttt california #wttt nevada #mur headcanons #yeah i went a lil bit unhinged on my love for calivada #i can't help it #wttt #welcome to the table

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ren-rambles-often · 10 months ago

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Why is episode eleven of Oblivion battery actually so fucking GOOD!?!?!

We've got one episode left and I'm practically begging for someone, whoever the fucking hell is in charge to go "Oh my bad, we've actually got 24 eps scheduled not 12 oopsie"

I'm having way too much fun watching, wish i had screencaps from all my favorite moments this episode but i was just so enraptured I forgot I was gonna have to say something. Too lazy to go back now so we just make due.

Chihaya and Todo have been my favorite characters since day one and believe me why I say I expected the most generic ass template backstories for them that would be rushed through just to make space for Kei and Haruka.

I would have been fine with that cuz I simply enjoyed seeing them on screen, the whole team is a delight but what the show does super well in my opinion is mixing in the goofiness with such heavy themes. Yama's deep seaed insecurities, Kei's amnesia, Todo's yips, Haru's subtle devastation at losing a part of his best friend...it all blends together so well and pulses with a kind of refreshing look at the challenges I see faced by teenage athletes in sports animes.

Usually it's all just, become stronger, play better, beat rival, prove mean team wrong (which isn't bad, I'm a knb fan, I follow blue lock and I'm at S2 of haikyuu so I do not be minding) but here it genuinely feels like I'm watching te characters go through these changes an explore their relationship with base ball and their teammates. The sport has hurt them so much but they love it despite all that and I think that's the real pull of the show.

I don't know if it's okay for me to call Chihaya's struggles body dysmorphia and eating disorder but that hit the close to home I felt shock. Of all things that could be his backstory i wasn't expecting any of that but it was handled so well I felt near tears.

Y'all I love him so much.

And he and Todo look so fucking GOOD together especially when taunting Kei I CAN'T.

It kind of just reminds me of Free, no overly elaborate life stakes competitions, just drama, angst and beautiful character work.

All in all, good fucking show, hope they stick the landing in a way that'll make me say "Fuck exams I'mma read the manga now." That's all I want but it's so busy. I frankly expected I'd hate this more than wind breaker but I'm only going to talk about that elephant in the room after episode 13. Bucchigiri made me lose fate in mappa but they pulled through with this one.

Is the Oblivion Battery Fandom alive? Or even a thing? Let me know I don't want to be left alone and obsessed after next Tuesday plss TT

#anime #spring anime 2024 #oblivion battery #kiyomine haruka #kaname kei #aoi todo #chihaya shunpei #sports anime #baseball #anime recommendation

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cyclogenesis · 2 months ago

Note

Wade comes to when the warmth of Logan’s arms carrying him is replaced by cold vinyl at his back. By the time he realizes what’s happening Logan’s in the driver’s seat next to him, the door of the truck slamming shut. Wade can sleep just about anywhere, and he’d like to get back to that, but something in Logan’s expectant look has him as alert as he can be. Logan wants something from him. Wade just needs to know what, so he can give it to him.

“I’m taking you home with me,” Logan says.

He’s looking at Wade. Really looking at him, like Wade’s opinion matters now, for once. Like if Wade said no Logan would listen, at least get him back to his car and leave him to it.

It’s just that there isn’t anything to leave him to, now. This is all Wade has.

With the last of his strength he shifts over, lays himself across the front seat of the truck, eases his head onto Logan’s lap and settles. After a moment Logan rests his hand on Wade’s head, a comforting weight. He doesn’t push Wade away. The last thing Wade hears before falling back into oblivion is Logan starting the truck.

turns out 500 words is a lot more than i initially thought

DVD commentary on this bit from The shape you left me (read the tags first if you're not familiar with my dead dove stuff!!) behind the cut for the meme, thank you for asking! 😘

First of all I love that you have asked for commentary on one of these stories, which I figured would at best be dependable jerk-off material for the right audience and that's about it. God bless you for thinking about them at all and wanting to know more. That's really nice and I mean that sincerely.

Trivia: the fic I posted after this also has Wade passing out while being fucked! In both cases it's due to blood loss. (Oh my fucking god, I just looked at this pseud again and I actually posted three stories in a row in which this happens. One of these days I'll finish the sequel to this one!!) That's awesome. Good for me and my extremely specific fetishes that I don't know how to accurately tag on AO3.

This fic follows Unpunishable, making it so far the only series I have up, if we count two parts as a series. I started out writing all of these just for myself and for a long time I wasn't going to post them at all! I've always liked dead dove stuff but mostly got all those ideas out in chatfic with similarly-minded friends in past fandoms. I didn't have that option for awhile in this fandom but I did have a lot of horny thoughts, so I decided to just do a little scribbling to entertain myself and now here we are.

It's been genuinely really fascinating to just sort of follow my bliss with these; despite being lucky enough to get a good pervert bestie in previous fandoms chatficcing by nature does always mean keeping in mind what the other person likes too, and frankly I've never met anyone else who likes things as mean and torture-y as I do. Letting myself off the leash to just write whatever I think is hottest in the moment has been a real delight. I really like to dwell in the psychological horror and misery of it all, man. I'm also in part posting these because I want other people to feel inspired to get meaner and more wretched and fucked up with their stuff. Like, please. Write some stuff for me!!!

Anyway, particular notes on the above excerpt: I skipped over a sensory detail I wanted in here, which was the contrast between the cold vinyl seat and the wet warmth of Wade's bloody shirt. Dammit. I really like the way the last two lines distill down the terrible crux of this relationship: Logan wants something from him. Wade just needs to know what, so he can give it to him. The deliciousness of that following the first part where Logan explicitly rapes him...that like, Wade's twisted this back into a give-and-take, putting himself out in front of the situation so he can feel like he's in control. It was his choice to stay and his choice to come back and his choice to not fight. The psychological damage of it all!! The stories we tell ourselves to survive!! Fuck, man. Do me on it. 🥵

“I’m taking you home with me,” Logan says. He’s looking at Wade. Really looking at him, like Wade’s opinion matters now, for once. Like if Wade said no Logan would listen, at least get him back to his car and leave him to it.

See what's fun about writing stuff like this for a fannish audience is that we all go into it knowing what we're about and aware that this doesn't have to be a realistic depiction of an abusive relationship. Because like, Wade is actually correct here. If Wade turned him down, Logan would get him back to his car and leave him alone forever.

But as established from the jump, that's the last thing Wade wants. He comes into this already so damaged, with a history of abuse, that someone just wanting to keep him is the closest thing to love he's ever felt. He wants to be worthy of being kept. If that means giving up his body and his pride and everything outside the two of them--he'll do it.

And on Logan's side, as seen in Unpunishable (GOD I love writing both halves of an abusive relationship!! so good to just dwell in the power fantasy from each side) which ends with Logan could almost love him...the closest that he can get to love is possession. Someone who's afraid of him but stays anyway. Who's devoted even when he doesn't deserve it. They both tap into this well of genuine feeling in the most destructive way possible. They make each other worse, but at least they keep each other out of societal circulation.

It’s just that there isn’t anything to leave him to, now. This is all Wade has. With the last of his strength he shifts over, lays himself across the front seat of the truck, eases his head onto Logan’s lap and settles. After a moment Logan rests his hand on Wade’s head, a comforting weight. He doesn’t push Wade away. The last thing Wade hears before falling back into oblivion is Logan starting the truck.

This is all Wade has!! All he has that's worth anything, anyway. And it's giving in, giving himself up, that gets him a moment of tenderness. It's giving in that allows him the bravery to ask for it. Deeply hot to me to earn love and kindness by sacrificing everything. Deeply hot, jeeeesus.

I also want to say here that the title is from 1121 by Halsey and I feel like the influence of that song was crazy on this fic. Please don't leave, don't leave me in the shape you left me. ‼️ It's the second time I've used a line from that song for a fic title (RIP live action Cowboy Bebop!!). And the series title comes from Ptolemea by Ethel Cain, whose fingerprints are all fucking over my Origins Wade characterization.

Thanks again for asking about this one, anon! Fun opportunity to expound on my wretched and beloved (by me, mostly) id fics. 🥰

#fic meme answers #my most horrible boys...zero stars. cannot recommend either of them tbh 😌#anonymous #asks

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deuterosapiens · 7 months ago

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So, politely, what the fuck did I just watch?

This marks Day Four in our decent into madness and after a solid start, we are now on incredibly shaky ground with Hellraiser III: Hell on Earth.

Not doing a full scene for scene breakdown like I did for the second one because quite frankly, that was exhausting to write and because this one is a tremendous series of extremely audible oofs.

So, first and foremost, a glance at the Wikipedia for this one reveals that it had a roughly higher budget that Hellraiser II. Where that budget has gone, I cannot say. Certainly not to a cinematographer, because this one looks and feels so, so direct-to-home-video. But that's fine, after all, the story's got to be good, yeah?

Uh... no.

Look, my man Clive Barker, he's a busy guy. I'm sure he was working on something of extreme importance at the time and therefore didn't have as much of a role in story details and whatnot. It happens. I can't blame him. Who do I shift blame to?

Tony Randel, who directed Hellraiser II, and Peter Adkins, who wrote the screenplay for II based on a story by Clive Barker. Huh..? Can someone verify that my notes on this are right? I'm genuinely confused. And director Anthony Hickox's only major film of note is... Hellraiser III. Some action movies and whatnot, but nothing of note.

I'm not going to talk about our lead, Reporter Joanne Summerskill, because I legitimately do not care about her at all. She exists as a replacement for Kirsty (who gets a cameo), but as her journey here isn't really connected to these events in the same way as Kirsty, or Julia, she kind of doesn't connect as well. Actually, she's kind of just a weird vehicle for the storyline the movie actually does want to focus on, the character the movie wants to focus on.

The nail-headed Hell Priest died at the end of Hellbound. Not a good thing if you want him to be the antagonist of a sequel, right? Luckily, this series has an established history of allowing dead things to return to life, though we also seem determined to disregard the rules to that. So we do spend a bit of time bringing the nail-headed Hell Priest back to life.

We explore a bit more his former, human life, something touched upon in the previous film. You see, former human, the late Captain Elliot Spencer, manifests himself to our reportagonist to exposit a bit about how the nail-headed Hell Priest is a darker side of him, one which had given in to the allure of pain and pleasure and not at all who he truly is and yeah, this was a pointless contribution to the character.

I actually like this idea of a human giving in to the excesses offered by (the tragically absent) Leviathan and the Labyrinths of Hell, and being transformed by it into the Cenobitical Gash. This is good stuff. Having this character say "yes, I succeeded in becoming a master of pleasure and torment, and yes I delight in inflicting grievous bodily manglement onto others, but it's not really ME, it's not really who I AM!", is remarkably dumb. You cannot expect to garner sympathy when I've literally watched you rip your victims to tiny little pieces via meat hook. No dice.

Since none of the nail-headed Hell Priest's compatriots from the previous film bothered much with the whole "accept a blood sacrifice on the place of your death" thing, our Lead Cenobite goes about creating a new horde of loyal servants. Not equals, these new Cenobites are clearly subservient.

I cannot bring myself to like any of their designs, the new Cenobites. They feel so, I don't know, rushed. These are obviously not persons who have taken to bodily disfigurement and self-mutilation as a means of exploring the farthest reaches of pain and experience, they are just sort of, well, impaled with random things and given black leather.

Yes, yes, Doctor Channard had a similar thing going for him, but I think he is not quite a victim of the same thing as the new ones. His Cenobitical forme expanded on his own desires to torment his patients. It works as an outward expression of his own masochism. Cameraman Doc's is just sort of, now he has a video camera shoved through his eye socket. I guess it's hard to give designs that reflect a character's inner desires when none of these characters have a significant personality to begin with.

Aaaaaand once again, we seem to have completely forgotten the rules of the Lemarchand Box. It is now a glorified Pokéball. Is it really that damn hard to remember that the Lemarchand Box is a key? Really? Can we do this right, please? And what's with this "he cannot take it, it must be willingly given" rule? I'm not saying this directly conflicts with our established understanding of the Lemarchand Box, I'm just saying it feels like it conflicts with our understanding of how the Lemarchand Box is used by the Cenobites in the first film.

I'll give this movie one thing though. The scene with the church did kind of amuse me a bit.

This also marks the first time the films use the name Pinhead properly, which again, out of respect for Clive Barker, I will not be using.

Please tell me that I can forget all about this one and disregard it entirely for the next one.

#Countdown to October First #Day Four- Hellraiser III: Hell on Earth #Clive Barker #hellraiser #Twelve Days of Hellraiser

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checkoutmybookshelf · 1 year ago

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Regency Romantasy

So...it has been brought to my attention that I perhaps have a type, and this book ticked a lot of really good boxes for me. It's regency-inspired. It's fantasy. It's a romance. It has a chronically ill main character. It has sewing and fashion. Literally 90% of the characters are LGBTQIA. It has a BALCONY SCENE for crying out loud. It even has a gossip columnist who might be better than Lady Whistledown (do NOT come for me, Bridgerton Fandom, I said what I said). I could go on, but at that point I think we would have completely dissolved from actual review to screamed list of things I enjoyed, so let's rein it in for a minute and talk A Fragile Enchantment.

I'm going to start with setting, because while this book is regency-inspired, it also plays a little fast and loose with other historical inspirations. The reality of the blight and famine in historical Ireland (and frankly also the troubles and every time that Ireland revolted against England) was that it came after the regency, but here Niamh is the first generation after a similar event and subsequent revolt in her home country of fantasy Irel--I mean Machland. She has grown up surrounded by survivors of the blight and revolt, and like everyone who reads Maus learns, generational trauma is a BITCH. So when our dressmaker protagonist is invited to make the wedding clothes for the son of the king who murdered her people, it's politically and emotionally charged. Add to that the fact that Niamh's magic is hereditary and weirdly murdery, and yeah, things are emotional as heck.

Possibly I shouldn't relate quite so hard to a protagonist who is literally hurting herself for people who ultimately couldn't give a damn about her, but that IS my villain origin story, so all I had for Niamh was compassion at how hard a position that is to be in.

Niamh herself is beautifully written, and Saft balances all the threads tied around and pulling at Niamh's heart just beautifully. Every choice is complex and fraught, and so-deeply-ingrained-she-doesnt-even-notice-it impulse to shape herself around other people's pain and grief and comfort them instead of sitting with her own feelings is just stunningly well executed without feeling dramatic or indulgent.

Niamh is so desperate for friends, and the little ring she constructs around herself couldn't be stranger or more wonderful. From the enraged, grumpy Kit to Sinclair to Rosa and Miriam, this found family is wildly unlikely and prickly, but they fit between each other's thorns just perfectly.

And speaking of people having thorns...we need to address Kit Carmine. Younger son of a mad (and abusive before he went mad) king with an alcohol problem and green magic, our boy is GRUMPY. And BLUNT. And honestly I love him for that, because those thorns are hiding a very stressed out, distinctly squishy center. And also one that is deathly afraid of hurting people, because that's also a thing.

Kit is so tangled up between rage and duty and the few people he cares about that he and Niamh really have to work to develop a compassionate understanding based on wildly different personalities. And then you add all the imperialist and decolonizing stress between them plus the fact that KIT IS LITERALLY ABOUT TO MARRY SOMEONE ELSE and it's a whole deal.

There are so many wonderful moments in this book, it was a delight from start to finish. I objectively have more to say about this book, but I want to avoid spoilers here to inspire y'all to go read this book. I promise, it's worth it. Now, go get it and read. *shoos you toward the bookstore/library/tablet/place you get your books from*

#a fragile enchantment #allison saft #niamh o conchobhair #kit carmine #regency romance #fantasy romance #regency fantasy #green magic #thread magic #gossip columnist #chronically ill main character #chronic illness #lgbtq representation #bi representation #books and reading #books and novels #books #books & libraries #book recommendations

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aonoexpat · 2 years ago

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Moving on

19-06-2023

It's official: I'll be heading to Te Waipounamu, Aotearoa's South island, in two weeks! I've booked a spot on the Bluebridge ferry that will take me and Elrond across Raukawa Moana, from Te Whanganui-a-tara to Waitohi. I'm not sure where I'll be going from there, and I don't intend to make plans. It will be just me and the road, which is both extremely exciting and a little daunting.

In the meantime I've been working on Elrond. I had a small list of repairs and improvements that grew bigger with every hatch I lifted. Whenever I fixed a minor thing, I discovered at least two more problem areas. For example, the brakes had felt a little off in the test ride, so my friend and I jacked up the car and leaked excess air out of the brake fluid. When testing the brakes again after that they felt better, but we discovered the parking brake pads were worn out, and during another brake test the bed fell over and broke. I found out the solar panel was actually not giving any charge at all, and the head unit needed professional replacement instead of the backyard DIY job I had hoped it would be. Brought the car to a car electrician (colloquially known as an 'auto sparky'), who proceeded take two full weeks to install the head unit and fix a headlight I wasn't aware needed fixing, then discovered the internal speakers were blown, replaced them, but in the process broke the plastic door covers. It's an exhausting and sometimes quite frustrating process, but I do feel like I'm getting to know Elrond inside and out through it. By now I've installed a new solar panel on the roof and have almost finished fixing the bed. After that there's only some minor repairs left that can be pushed back to a later date (and a cheaper town). I'm very excited to finally get to turn it into my own little home for the next however many months!

If you're wondering how you glue a solar panel to the top of a van, this was our method:

Today I took Elrond up to Petone, where I stocked up on goodies for the upcoming trip in The Dutch Shop, which offers a delightful hit of nostalgia:

I drove there all alone, and I feel like I'm rapidly growing more and more confident on the road, which I'm frankly really proud of. I'm still nervous to get behind the wheel (I do believe my driving instructor did a real number on me in that regard), but it's getting a lot better already. Driving on the left feels like second nature now, and it really helps that there aren't nearly as many bikes on the road here as at home. Don't get me wrong, I will never bash a bike-friendly traffic situation, but for somebody who easily gets stressed out and overwhelmed while driving this is quite a relief. I still took wrong turns at least three times in the span of ten minutes, but it's nice to find that that's easily solved by calmly making a turn somewhere and getting back on track. There's nobody next to me now to tell me that was wrong, or dumb, or a waste of time. It's just me and the huge pink teddy bear I bought to be my travel buddy, and he's real chill! (Will get a better photo soon, also jury's still out on a name, my inbox is open for suggestions xxx)

In other news, I have moved back into my friends' house for the remainder of my stay in Te Whanganui-a-tara. As I described in an earlier post, the house I was in wasn't great. Things reached a bit of a boiling point for me when I was violently woken up by our elderly neighbour banging her fists on my window in the morning because my housemate had parked his car in front of her driveway and she couldn't leave for work. Combine that with the unsettling amount of strangers he would let into the house, the absolute inability of everybody else to do any cleaning whatsoever and the unrelenting noises in the middle of the night, and you'll understand why I decided to stop waiting for the van to be ready and just put the room up for grabs on Facebook. It took a couple of weeks but I found a new tenant for the room. Assuming everything would be settled, I packed up my stuff and left on the agreed upon date. However, the new tenant suddenly pulled out at the very last minute, leaving the house with a gap in the rent. The previously mentioned housemate proceeded to bombard me with aggressive messages and e-mails, insisting I continue paying rent for a room I was no longer inhabiting, or there would be legal consequences. This was both hilarious, because the property manager of the house had been so neglectful as to never send me a contract during the past 2 months so there isn't a single legal document with my signature on it, and very uncomfortable, because I'm not used to confrontation. My friend was kind enough to take my phone from me and message him to, and I quote, "fuck off". I don't think I've ever said that to anyone and meant it, so it was quite the experience to get away with it. Luckily the other housemates were very understanding and agreed I didn't have to pay anything, and wished me fun on my trip. I'm glad to be out of there, and still a bit shaken. This is the second time in four months I've had to stand up for myself and be met with such aggression, and it's unpleasant. But I'm sure it'll leave me more equipped for the next time.

As a fun finish to this post, here's a video of one of Te Whanganui-a-tara's many spectacular "water features", aka broken pipes due to constantly shifting tectonic plates that the municipality simply cannot keep up with:

And!! My friends alerted me the other day to a pair of humpback whales that had swum into the harbour, so we went to look at them. My camera would never have been able to capture them, but luckily theirs did:

It's pretty mind-blowing that this just happens on a regular day in these parts. I felt super lucky to be there and catch a glimpse of them, even if it was from a distance!

#aotearoa #backpacking #van life

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takaraphoenix · 2 years ago

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Good Omens Season 3 Thoughts

To open it up, I have mixed feelings on the season. On the overall did I really enjoy it, the acting and the plot, but there were elements to it that didn't work for me, particularly regarding the ending.

I thought the Gabriel bit was funny (Jon Hamm was great and it looked like he was having a lot of fun with it), the storyline was coherent and I liked how it tied together in the end.

As with s1, the flashback scenes shone in particular. I loved them. I would honestly watch two whole seasons exclusively about their past. Them throughout time and the way their relationship developed is the best bit about this show, hands down.

David and Michael were, as expected, spectacular. Especially David, I'm sorry I love him so much, it was such a delight to see him again. His hair was impeccable too.

I liked Shax, the character was fun. I liked Muriel at first, but found her bit to get... a bit too exhausting the further the season went on. Just an edge too dense and naive and it started really getting on my nerves.

I could have done without the wlw subplot. That's the part that really pains me though, because as a lesbian I was really looking forward to it. But... it didn't work at all for me. They were really... annoying, it... distracted more than it added? And the end was infuriating.

Few tropes I hate more than "characters are oblivious and need to be told by an outsider that they're in love". And it... was worse when it's about a story that spanned 6000 years. After all this time, Crowley needed these two random characters to tell him what to do about his feelings for Aziraphale? Really?

I loved the season, but that ending was... really bad, starting with them having their sit down with Crowley, and it got worse from there.

I'm sorry, but Aziraphale, after two whole seasons of growth and character arc away from heaven going "Heaven are the good guys! Come be an angel with me!" was... OoC? It was incredibly regressive and contrary to his entire arc?

The beauty of the story, to me, had always been the way Crowley grew away from hell and Aziraphale grew away from heaven and they found each other, and they created their own side. That was, already, the entire point of season one? And it had been driven home once more by the arc of season two?

Even more so considering the Beelzebub/Gabriel plotline that mirrored and highlighted that too.

And then Azira just went "You can be an angel again!!! Angels are the good guys!!!", like all of that hadn't just happened in the past two seasons, like he hadn't grown comfortable in his role away from heaven, like the whole show hadn't showcased that heaven wasn't the good guys?

Sure, he pivots then into "We can change it together", but that bit only comes after he already declared that angels are the good guys and pretended like it was something to be desired by Crowley to be an angel again?

The kiss also felt... forced. Again, "character needs other characters to tell him about his feelings", but even beyond that. It... didn't... work. The forced kiss can sometimes work, but here? It was just uncomfortable to watch. Perhaps because their story hadn't been physical so far, their feelings had been so strong without it already, so this sudden "no, all the actions and interactions aren't enough to convey love, Kissing Has To Happen", it... Quite frankly, it felt like it was meant to cater to the whinier parts of the fandom that kept screaming that it's queerbait because they don't kiss on-screen? Like a "see, they kissed, are you satisfied now?" more so than a true and genuine moment that fit their development.

If the season had ended with Gabriel and Beelzebub parting from heaven and hell, it would have been a great ending.

Speaking of, I surprisingly liked that a lot? Didn't think I'd come out of season two liking Gabriel/Beelzebub, but that worked. That was even surprisingly sweet. And I did like how it mirrored the Crowley/Aziraphale dynamic (I just think that the Crowley/Aziraphale part then... failed to stick the landing).

I'm just hoping season 3 gets greenlit because this would not be a satisfying final ending to the show, it's far too much of a set up and cliffhanger.

TL;DR: Wonderful acting, great flashback scenes, good overall story, disappointingly enough didn't vibe with the wlw plotline, loved Gabriel/Beelzebub and how it tied the season together, thought Aziraphale's ending was doing his character development injustice.

#Good Omens #Good Omens Spoilers #Good Omens Season 2

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mythictold · 10 months ago

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well, that didn't go as expected. - chakotay @ janeway

out of all the things that have gone 'not as expected' in the delta quadrant - this is what's blindsided her the most. perhaps it shouldn't have, but it's certainly a sharp slap in the face to the past seven or so years. standing at one of the windows of her ready room, kathryn stares at a blessed sight - earth, it's vibrant blue beauty having very much been missed. she can see small pinpoints around, ships moving in and out of orbit or waiting for clearance to enter space dock. it's a flurry of activity, half caused by their return and half business as usual in the sol system.

starfleet has barely let her process the fact that they're home.

"i knew there'd be testimony - but i was hoping they'd be willing to be a bit damned flexible." she mutters, folding her arms across her chest. a court martial, issued to her - starfleet has been combing her logs from the past seven years before they'll be allowed to land.

there are teams on board already going through ship, the modifications that have kept them alive the past few years. she already knows it'll be dismantled when they finally get clearance to land - which won't be for another few days at least, she estimates. starfleet is being cautious and it's at a boiling point. people on voyager want to see their families beyond the screen of a video message. they're all antsy to be back on earth - kathryn included, though now she suddenly feels like she ought to dread it.

"i'll just be honest." she continues, gesturing vaguely at the air. "the decisions i made were for our survival, that's all. are there things i shouldn't have done? yes. a great many things. but i won't regret them. not when it's led us here." she grabs her empty mug of coffee and crosses to the replicator to refill it (holy hell will it be a blessing to have actual, real coffee again).

she massages her temple in anticipation of a beaurocracy headache. it's probably a formality, give her a chance to explain some of the more complicated logs - especially around the borg, she assumes. but kathryn has never quite liked this side of starfleet.

"you - the former maquis, they'll probably drag my ass across the carpet for it, but i don't want you or be'lanna or any of the others to worry. i'll defend you just as i have in my logs." besides, how can admiral paris put the mother of his new grandchild in a penal colony? and how can starfleet neglect the contributions chakotay and the others have made to their survival? voyager never would have made it. frankly starfleet should be bowing down and licking their boots.

"i'm telling you, as a friend." kathryn adds after another moment, lifting her head to him. "don't tell the others - they'll only worry. they deserve to enjoy the celebrations, to look forward to the homecoming. not worry they're about to lose their jobs and ranks and thrown in a jail cell."

she doesn't expect starfleet to do much - after all, voyager has done the unthinkable and it's crew are an asset. if starfleet does even so much as consider demoting them for actions taken when they were fighting for survival - well, she imagines the press and the thousands of others heralding their return will put up one mighty stink. and kathryn is willing to let them.

"now we just have to wait for them to decide the pomp and circumstance and i'm sure they'll put on a good face, throw some insane party and we'll have to pretend we're absolutely delighted to go." she mutters, rolling her eyes as she lifts her mug to her lips. "before reality comes crashing down around our ears." kathryn murmurs, quieter. her fingers curl around the warm mug of coffee, lips pulling into a soft frown. "as much as i've looked forward to this day - it's going to feel strange. not waking up to the hum of the ship. not seeing everyone all the time. i love this team with everything in me and faced with the fact that it's over . . . i already miss it."

@stcrdate

#stcrdate #( --- stcrdate && chakotay )#( --- character && kathryn janeway )

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solisvidentis · 2 years ago

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>Boggle vacantly at the enormity before you.

(If you aren't one for prose of the distinctly violet sort, please avail yourself of the ability to scroll to the end.)

So you've found yourself here, at the Tumblr blog of one Rose Lalonde. You peruse the sparse trappings of her new residence, wondering when she will avail herself of the ability to pretty up her space. Soon, one hopes!

You explore the brief description presented. "Female, makes sense." you muse, "Twenty eight years of age, alright." you intone. Then you read further- your nose wrinkling, brow furrowing. "Twenty- what?" You stammer, not sure whether to be enraged or perplexed, "Twenty eight million miles across? What preposterous nonsense!" You exclaim, banging your fist mightily on your poor, abused desk. Take heart, your observation is correct! That number is a falsehood, a fib, a lie, and a fabrication.

It is, I must admit with shame, far, far too small. It isn't even an estimation. You have, my dear friend, been taken for a ride, and I apologize. Now that your shock has worn off, perhaps I can explain myself. No no don't worry I won't bore you with unending, needless delving into my intricate and tragic backstory- I will simply give you the notes of the sage Clifford.

It all started with a game - and like many games you are probably familiar with, it went about as expected. That is to say, poorly. A narrative that marched unerringly toward doom, until a young girl introduced a bizarre, and frankly, stupid swerve to the story. Descending into the depths of an alien moon with her sort-of brother to detonate a bomb on a daring, somber suicide mission to destroy a source of great power for a nerd of great evil, the pair realized they had been played for fools.

At the last moment, raging against the cruel monsters who had guided them here under false pretenses, the girl captchalogued the bomb and, in a fit of flighty pique... Swallowed the card.

The consequences of this decision would be as enormous as they were well and truly idiotic.

The poor little dope and her brother were soon obliterated by the bomb, because timers don't particularly respect things like non physical storage media, destroying their little satellite and propelling the two to god-dom on the sacrificial slabs they occupied.

Here again the story diverges- the two would rise before long, floating in the Incipisphere and wearing some quite fetching pajamas. But the treacherous sun was nowhere to be found, the twin deaths that were to fuel its verdant rays having been channeled into a new vessel...

And now we fast forward some time. This power grew within the girl, and the girl grew with it. She became insatiable, and every new metric by which she became more adept at manipulating space and reality, so the numbers on her overworked scales increased, day by day, until it became clear that the green sun had not been thwarted- it had become her. Or rather she, and her waistline, were becoming it.

Years pass- alien friends are found, directed by a new, atypical beacon. Their timeline is sealed off, closed away from the vile scourge of paradox space by his own power, usurped by the girl, now a woman. A new home is made for the friends, the two species coming together to rebuild their lost civilizations, all under the watchful eye of the woman who was, not to toot her own enormous horn, quite literally a Goddess. All is well, the new Earth thrives- but there is one small problem.

The Goddess, in all her elegant, Gluttonous corpulence, is bored. So so very, very bored.

Had you not guessed, that Goddess is me, and I'm here to throw my weight around, find new delights to gorge on, and, quite frankly, fuck.

>That's great you bloated gasbag. Give me the highlights

Very well- ahem.

Rose Lalonde

Huge

Simply enormous

Absorbed the Green Sun

Literal Goddess watching over Earth C

Horny

I do hope that will suffice. Feel free to reach out to me- I'm in need of anyone who can appreciate a girl with a little meat on her bones.

#about #ic

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yokohamapound · 3 years ago

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Hello and I just wanted to say YOUR BLOG ID THE BEST IVE EVER SEEN LIKE?? And your writing is FANTASTIC so I was wondering if I could request Sigma,Fyodor,Dazai, ANNDD we I think we all love CHUUYA x reader with thick thighs?

ANNDD take care of yourself!!

Thank you so much, sweetheart! That means a lot. I'm having so much fun in this fandom. <3

Characters: Sigma, Fyodor Dostoevsky, Dazai Osamu, Nakahara Chuuya

Contents: explicit NSFW, biting (the fun kind), possessiveness

Sigma

I'll preface by saying that Sigma adores his s/o from the top of their head right down to the tips of their toes. Every single quirk and part of them is abso-fucking-lutely precious to him. You are hope and home and comfort to him, seriously. Having someone who loves him and wants to be with him is life changing for him.

If you have thick thighs, he's delighted by how soft they are. He has a habit of squeezing them while you're cuddling together, running his hands along them and mumbling about how soft and smooth they feel under his palms.

Sigma gets flustered when you wear anything that shows them off, no matter what your preferred style is. Shorts, skirts, tight pants…it doesn't matter.

He also likes holding onto your thighs during sex, stroking them and feeling your muscles twitch underneath his lingering touch. Sigma's a sensual guy, so he spends ages just dragging his fingertips over your soft skin, making your nerves tingle.

When he's freaking out behind closed doors, one of the easiest ways to calm him down is to let him lie down with his head on your lap and stroke his pretty, pretty hair.

(I love Sigma, can ya tell?)

Fyodor Dostoevsky

Fyodor finds your thighs adorable, frankly. He's quite lean himself, so he enjoys the contrast of a softer, warmer body against his own when he's in the mood for intimacy. From his perspective, he also likes how it reinforces the idea that you're weaker than him. It strokes his ego.

He encourages you to wear clothing that reveals your legs, at least when you're in private with him. Short skirts, shorts, etc. When you come into his office and stand beside him, he has a habit of reaching down and ghosting cold fingers across the back of your thigh. He'll pinch them, just enough to make you jump.

Stockings. Just…stockings, okay?

White ones in particular, if you want him to bend you over the nearest surface and fuck you. The angelic white lace against your soft skin? Feral.

He'll probably also fuck your thighs, if he wants to get off while simultaneously making you squirm in need for him. Fyodor commands you to hold your thighs together while he rubs his cock between them, teasing up against you or using his fingers on you, if he's feeling generous.

If you sit on his lap while he's working, he'll tuck a hand between your thighs to keep it warm, hehe~

Dazai Osamu

Another thigh-pillow lover. He wheedles on a daily basis for you to let him use your lap as a pillow, even in public. He nuzzles his head onto your thighs while sprawled across the ADA office couch, ignoring his paperwork and the steam coming out of Kunikida's ears.

He has hyperbolic names for them, but he often refers to them as the "gates to heaven". Make of that what you will.

Dazai gives oral like a champ and I won't hear anything to the contrary. He spends ages teasing you by pulling your thighs wide open and covering them in kisses, slowly licking and teasing his way up to where you actually want him to go.

He loves when you clamp your thighs around his head, like he's drowning in marshmallow.

"So soft~!" he sighs.

Nakahara Chuuya

And here, folks, is the biggest thicc thigh afficionado going. I can't express how much he loves them.

Very turned on by zettai ryouiki - the gap between thigh-high socks and a skirt or shorts. That innocent strip of skin is incredibly distracting for him. Chuuya struggles to keep his hands to himself, eyes always darting down.

You know that thing where the tops of thigh-high socks dig in to the thigh squish? Chuuya's sweating and shaking. The same goes for if you wear one of those body harnesses where the straps go around your thighs? The sight of it cinching the soft flesh of your thighs makes his mouth water. You're getting hauled off somewhere private.

He absolutely covers your thighs in love bites, nipping and sucking at the soft skin until you're spotted like a leopard. He'd suffocate between them if you let him, honestly.

#Yokohama Pound #bungou stray dogs #bsd headcanons #bsd imagines #bsd smut #sigma bsd #Fyodor Dostoevsky #Fyodor x Reader #Dazai Osamu #Dazai x Reader #Sigma x Reader #Nakahara Chuuya #Chuuya x Reader

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singrate · 3 years ago

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Charlie Spring is Also Autistic

A little while ago I made this post about Nick Nelson being autistic and got a handful of requests for one about Charlie because, well, obviously. So here it is.

First of all:

I'm sure you agree.

This post won’t be as long as the Nick one because quite frankly I am trying not to ramble. Once again referencing the webcomic and the series.

TW: very brief mention of OCD & eating disorders

The Converse collection. And the knitwear collection. Even the skinny jeans. He always wears the same jumper/jeans or button up/t-shirt/jeans combination. I just know he rotates through wearing all of his jumpers because he doesn’t want any of them to be left out.

The jumpers are definitely a sensory thing, too — in the part about their wardrobes at the end of Volume 2 Alice mentions that he loves anything ‘snuggly and oversized.’

Both in the webcomic and the series, Charlie’s ‘misfit’ status is fairly important to his character, regardless of whether or not he’s popular. Even though he fits in well with his friends, there’s something that makes him quite distinctly different from everyone around him.

His special interests are indie/alternative music, classic literature and ancient history, especially Roman and Greek.

Drumming is a stim for him. At the start of S01E02, right after that delightful encounter with Ben, and in the scene with Tori in S01E08, it’s fairly clear he’s using it as a way to process and release his emotions.

When he wears headphones on the bus… yeah. Stressed, anxious; much more likely to be overstimulated.

Pattern recognition: he picks up pretty early on that Nick probably isn’t straight and nobody else around him believes him.

Mental illnesses like OCD and anorexia are commonly comorbid with autism.

His resting face. That’s all.

Actually, that’s not all. These too:

There's so many more of these but I don't have the energy to find screencaps for all of them right now. Also, getting home from school and immediately collapsing on his bed.

The wave in S01E01 and S01E06 when saying bye to Nick. Can’t find screencaps but you know the one.

And the little giggle after Nick tackles him and says, “Well done!”

His sense of humour is exactly the sort of offbeat sarcasm a lot of autistic people use. “Oh, she left, long ago!” (S01E01) (same vibe as Tori asking, “Was he a knob?” because obviously Tori is also autistic and I find the similarities between these two so wonderful), “I’m not hiding.” “Then what are you doing?” “Eating lunch.” (S01E01)

Saying sorry a lot. First of all, he’s not sure when it’s appropriate/necessary to apologise and when it isn’t. Secondly, it seems like a form of masking — he is likely aware of his tendency to miss social cues but doesn’t know which ones he’s missing and apologises as a way to compensate.

There is just something very autistic to me about the way he delivers his monologues — to Nick in S01E04, staring at the floor the whole time, hello??, to Ben in S01E01 and S01E08, just very impassioned and earnest, but still kind of monotone. Yeah.

A lot of his lines from the series that people (mostly on Tiktok) find cringe are just like… things that an autistic teenager would say? S01E01 after Nick’s pen explodes when he says, “You should make it the new school fashion!”, S01E01 when he’s confronting Ben: “Thanks for telling me. Oh wait… you didn’t”, “Why are we like this??”, the ‘gay panic’ lock screen, I’ll probably think of more of these later because Heartstopper Tiktok does not deserve Charlie.

Isolating himself when he’s struggling socially because dealing with anybody, even his close friends, is just too much. I think that one is fairly universal for autistic people.

Just want to add that Joe Locke did such a good job of bringing Charlie to life. His delivery is literally perfect and I will not ever shut up about this.

Anyway, feel free to add stuff!

#heartstopper #heartstopper netflix #charlie spring #charlie spring is autistic #neurodivergent #autistic #i love him so much #charlie spring is autistic i will die on this hill #nick nelson is autistic fight me #nick and charlie are aut4aut charlie told me himself

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