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#but here are the funniest bits lol
vergilbergart · 2 years
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one of the most Peepaw Ever
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stealingpotatoes · 9 months
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every year i think "there's no way I can draw as much as I did last year" and then then I make myself look like an idiot. ending 2023 with a genuinely disgusting number of arts this year:
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anyway call me a tree bc i'm abt to get real sappy: thank you all so much for a genuinely INSANE year in terms of how much i drew, how much i improved, and how much LOVELY support i've gotten!!!!!!! like my followercount more than quadrupled from the start of the year and i just can't believe?? there's this many of u?? that like my art???????? dead on the floor i love you all SO much!!!! thank u!!!!!!!!
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quinn-pop · 8 months
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it’s right there behind you but ok ://
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humming-fly · 2 years
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Happy “I’ve been hoarding resources for 5 months for this character drop” day! 
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quill-n · 1 year
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My party's been on the stupid topic of how they both lay eggs and I've recently been cursed with Too Much Knowledge on aarakocra and dragonborn reproductive systems, so .
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(the aasimar is Covell—the captain of their old crew. more info on him later *fingerguns*)
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real embarrassing on Sybil's 16 intelligence btw, but it's also hilarious
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ontargetmadders · 8 months
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Bloody hell I love the guy but stephen mulhern certainly has his fingers in a lot of pies rn 😂 Can't believe he's doing dancing on ice tbh. Not into it myself but my mum forces me too watch it as well as strictly aha
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sunnys-sonata · 2 years
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Save me 🥲
#omori au#sunnys sonata au#literally the only reason i haven't posted anything about the au in a while is just because I'm losing it over every single character#and most of them aren't even important/canon to omori canon or they just have a miniscule appearance/role#there are so many side characters and jokes With these side characters it's not even funny anymore#i dragged characters from completely different universes that have a tiny tie to omori into the sonata verse bc i thought it would be funny#Little Jack from the old OLD Halkenna verse is in this verse- Omoboy is in this verse- there are characters that had NO screentime in here#there are plots for fights that aren't on the main storyline. there are alternate endings that were literally never touched on anywhere#not even in the disc server where i jot down my ideas#i have aus of aus and literally for what#honestly I think the funniest bits of side plot I've developed have to do with rococo having to deal with sbf making summoning circles#either that or just the clone hearts all roaming around the world being a weird family and also being an obstacle to the main group#everything else is just very scattered development changes and add-ons to characters i already had planned. both main and side characters#Shattered Omori got a very. dark? design change. Hero and Aubrey were both slightly tweaked. The Twins's fused form was HEAVILY updated#that fused form had a lot of notes added to it.. how their emotions work. how they speak. their height. abilities. basically everything#i. actually just have a lot of notes for the twins lol#what can i say. i think they're neat
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puppys-rhythm-heaven · 3 months
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i am being so fucking autistic about a video game i've only played an hour and a half of and have absorbed like 99% of my information about through osmosis from my bestie(s. it's complicated) and fanfiction. catastrophic levels of autism. i can't stress this in words i don't think y'all understand. or care honestly sdflkjfdskdfsjsfdkj-
#puppy rambles#slightly hurts to know no one seems to really care but eh. can't blame anyone i know y'all follow me for rhythm heaven#i think i have been making high-quality posts though y'all aren't appreciating my incomprehensible rambles about persona enough </3#/lh#(which is funny since this blog isn't even really a rhythm heaven blog anymore i don't think that'll be my main hyperfixation for a bit)#(if ever. it was uhhhhhh. kindddddd of unhealthy. haha lol xd :3)#(turns out a rhythm game that i barely interact with the fandom for is not stimulating enough for my adhd and autism!!! shocking i know)#(i still love rhythm heaven but it was bad for my brain-)#(i'm happy for all the friends i made through it though :333 even if i've only talked to like. one or two of you guys cuz of anxiety)#(and even then just through asks because the idea of interacting with people on tumblr through other means honestly terrifies me)#anyways it's going down now persona 3 reload bops hard idk 99% of the lyrics though#persona songs are good at being incomprehensible. even if you can understand the lyrics i think they're kinda nonsensical sometimes#i mean. check it out i'm in the house like carpet. that's an actual line from a persona song#which is hilarious to me. funniest metaphor#anyways wiping all out is the best persona song i think (<- only actually remembers what like 10 persona songs sound like)#been a little while but i'm still prattling. not a princess (a lot of anger in it) not your cutie girlfriend oh no don't you know#three dots connect to rectangles. demolition#yes i did specifically play p3p and specifically as girl. i probably won't play it more for a while now tho tbh#i kinddddd of spoiled myself on. basically all of the important plot points. through lesbian fanfiction#look can you really blame me. like *vaguely gestures* the door and the toaster are fucking KISSING#they should undoor. i knowwwwww it goes against the game's message but. shut up. i like happy endings#no dead lovers allowed over here >:(#they deserve to be happy and not crucified
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cashmoneyyysstuff · 7 months
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hiii i love ur fics idk if ur requests are on rn but can u do a short drabble of the tiktok trend where the guy hasn't ask his gf to be his valentines day so she "put him on sale" as a joke ofc but she's like
BF FOR SALE ($3.50)
- amazing cook
-crusty feet
- will buy anything u want
any character is fine but i would love katsuki or shoto!!
LMFAOOOO this is for sure the funniest ask ive gotten yet😭😭😭 this is so cute !! and very long overdue I apologize writer block devil was rlly kickin my ass😞 valentines been over but yk i had to write this ! i was rlly hesitating between writing for shoto or katsuki and then i realized i could write for BOTH OF THEM!! and so i did ! i tried honoring your request as best i could, hope you like it <3 !
no pronouns mentioned, pure tooth rotting nasty fluff, use of petnames (my love for shoto and sweets, babe and idiot (lol) for katsuki), katsuki is an asshat but when isn’t he, shy katsuki, shoto is a bit of an airhead, kissing, biting, reader is petty asl lol, lemme know if i missed something else !
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todoroki shoto ♥︎
“yn, my love.”
“yes, shoto ?”
the corners of shoto’s mouth pull into a tiny frown at the usage of his first name. no baby, no hun, not even sho. just shoto.
“did i do something to upset you ?” he asks carefully from his spot at the foot of your dorm bed he seems to be stuck at, he can’t bring himself to move until he knows if you’re actually mad at him, and he has an inkling you are.
you look up at him for no longer than a second then look back down at your phone screen “what makes you think that ?” you question back nonchalantly.
“you posted something on your tiktok account..” shoto doesn’t have a clue how to have this conversation with you and it makes him a little nervous, he regrets not going to izuku for advice after all.
“mhmmmm~” you hum, urging him to continue knowing damn well you know what he’s going to say. you wanted to hear him say it himself.
you know shoto’s had no previous relationships before you so these type of things probably don’t mean as much to him as they do to you, but doesn’t everyone want their boyfriends to ask them to be their valentine ? you sure do, and your boyfriend hadn’t asked you to be his yet, so as petty as you know you were being at the time you posted the tiktok he’s no doubt here for right now.
shoto feels like a criminal on trial desperately trying to plead his case with you being the judge. tentatively, he asks “ you said you were..putting me up for sale ?”
immediately it’s like a switch had been flipped. you place your phone down onto your bed next to you, shoto wishes he could take your phone’s place. you cross your leg over the other and bring your hands together like a super villain revealing their master plan “yes. yes i did.”
“oh.”
silence. nothing.
shoto tried—he’s trying. he’s trying so insanely hard to make sense of everything that is you but he simply can’t. he breaks eye contact to think of more to ask but his attention is quickly pulled back to you when he hears you whine.
“uuuuughhh shotoooo~” you moan, throwing your head back against the headboard. “you’re not supposed to say ‘oh’ !” you’re face changes from grumpy to deadpan as you lower your voice slightly to try and mimic him. on any other day this would’ve made him laugh but he’s beyond lost at this point. he clears his throat before speaking again.
“ i don’t know what i’m supposed to say—or what i did for you to want to sell me.” he thinks “and for 3 dollars at that.”
you let out a laugh when you process his words and shoto’s shoulders magically feel lighter at the sound. carefully, he slides a little closer to the side of your bed so he can stand at your bedside. little by little. you pretend you don't notice.
"it's what you deserve for not askin' me to be your valentine."
the secret’s finally out and you get to see how the cog wheels in his head are starting to turn in real time, it has you holding back a giggle when he looks up at you like a deer in headlights.
“is that..why you were mad ?” you nod, humming out a playful mhmm
“ya really hurt my feelings you know ? to think my own boyfriend wouldn’t ask me” you clench your fist over your heart and fake sob dramatically.
shoto huffs out a laugh, relieved to see you’re not actually mad, and goes to sit down on your bed. he tentatively reaches for your hand and squeezes it twice when you let him hold it. before bringing it up to his lips and placing a sweet little kiss to it. it feels as if pop rocks are going off inside of you.
“ i’m sorry for not asking you to be my valentine.” he apologizes, his thumb absentmindedly rubbing your hand “ i was thinking i should’ve, but i didn’t want you to think it was weird since we’re already dating.” his thumb goes to run over your fingers “ i was worried me being too intense would scare you off.” he mumbles.
your eyebrows furrow, you lean towards him to make him look at you “ you wouldn’t scare me off, who told you that ?”
“kaminari. he said ‘coming on too strong scares away the babes.’ ” shoto quotes
you sigh. of course it was that bigmouth portable charger filling his head with this stuff.
you pull your hand out of his grasp and he looks up to protest but you grab his face in your hands before he can say anything, you can practically see him start melting at the contact as he blinks at you slowly, he reminds you of a cat.
“sho” you purr, rubbing his cheeks “ rule number one is never ever listening to kaminari’s dating advice. most of the time it is very wrong.” you explain.
shoto presses his mouth to the palm of your hand “yeah, i’m starting to regret that now.” he speaks into it, you snort. he leans in closer to press a sweet kiss to your lips and you reciprocate, pressing a few more kisses on his lips for good measure “ i’m really sorry for not asking you.” he says in between pecks. you hum in response to him placing even more kisses all around your face. “s’okay. i’m also kinda sorry for putting you up for sale.” you say, running your fingers through his hair while he places kisses on your shoulder.
he lifts his head up to look at you then, an eyebrow raised with an amused expression on his face “kinda sorry ?” he asks.
you nod “mhm. kinda sorry.”
he chuckles to himself, then gets up so he can climb into bed next to you. when he’s positioned how he likes it, with his head in your lap while you comb through his hair with your fingers, he sighs peacefully “well, it wasn’t all bad. i’m glad you think i’m a good cook.”
“what about the crusty feet ?”
“i’m choosing to ignore that part.” shoto smirks lightly to himself when he hears you laugh at his joke, clearly proud of himself for it. “and i will buy you anything you want, to make it up to you.”
“i don’t need you to buy me anything, sho” you roll your eyes with a lovesick smile “ all you gotta do is ask.”
he blinks up at you, looks off the the side as if he’s deep in thought, and suddenly gets off your lap to sit right in front of you. you never think you’ll get over how pretty your boyfriend is and being reminded of it with how close he is to you makes you flustered. he leans in to kiss you passionately and you don’t know if it’s the love he pours into it or the lack of air that has you so dizzy, you don’t dwell on it.
when he pulls away he’s looking at you like you hung up the stars in the sky and he simply, almost shyly smiles at you and asks.
“ will you be my valentine ?”
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bakugou katsuki ♥︎
you did not expect katsuki to come barging into your dorm room five minutes after you’d posted your tiktok. the loud sound of someone banging on your door and proceeding to let themselves in seconds later causes you to let out a squeak.
in comes katsuki, phone tightly clutched in his hand and the moment his eyes zeroed on you he’s like a bull charging at a red flag. he stands right in front of you, angry frown on display before he shoves his phone in your face.
“explain this. now.” he growls, you have to hold back a laugh, keeping your face as calm as possible you look between him, his screen then back at your phone.
“what’s confusing about it ? i thought i was being pretty straight forward.”
his eye twitches. “why the hell did you put me up for sale ?! and for three dollars and fifty fuckin’ cents ?!” he exclaims, you can’t help the snort that bursts out of you, though katsuki doesn’t look as amused as you are.
“explain.” he deadpans.
“i think you can figure it out.” you shrug back.
he mutters insults to himself that you can’t catch “well obviously fuckin’ not, cus I wouldn’t be askin’ you if i did.” you simply shrug and look back at your phone. “i wrote it in the caption.”
it takes him a second to process then he’s tapping his password and opening the clock app at super sonic speed. his eyebrows furrow and you see him tapping away at his phone. his eyes widen when he reads your caption and he looks down at you with a mix of desperation and disbelief.
“you’re mad cus I didn’t ask you to be my valentine ?” your bratty huff and turn to the side as you shrug again is all the answer he needs. he looks at you for about 5 seconds longer then sighs.
he sits down on your bed and keeps staring. katsuki bakugou hates a lot of things and one of those things is you ignoring him. a warm hand on your ankle startles you and you can’t even ask him what he’s doing before your being yanked towards him. you squeal, almost missing the smirk on his face or the huff of laughter at your reaction. almost though, so you glare at him. katsuki looms over you until your noses almost touch, then you turn away with a huff. he chuckles, pressing his lips to your neck.
“ yer such a baby, y’know that ?” he mumbles, smirking against you neck. you huff but make no effort to shrug him off “ no i’m not, jerk. is it so wrong for me to want my boyfriend to ask me to be his valentine’s ?” you grumble, trying to ignore the feel of his warm lips against your skin, it’s not working so well for you.
“s’not what i’m sayin, sweets” he nips at your earlobe “‘m sayin’ ya coulda just told me ‘stead of bein’ a baby about it.” you can’t tell if this is his way of trying to apologize. either way, you don’t want to give in just yet.
“i’m not supposed to tell you to ask me to be your valentine’s katsuki, that’s not the point~ !” you huff petulantly. you feel a but childish but, c’mon ! it’s a given to have your boyfriend as your valentine and it wouldn’t hurt your demon spawn of a boyfriend to be a little but romantic once in a while.
he playfully rolls his eyes at you “see, what’d i tell you? big baby.” leaning forward he nips at your nose making you groan and trying to push him away with your palm. katsuki being the powerhouse that he is, doesn’t budge. “ i didn’t think to ask ya cus you’re already mine. so why should i need to ask something that’s a given ?”
your heart beats faster at his words and katsuki takes his chance when he feels you loosing up more and more. suddenly he’s got your wrists in his grip, holding them above you and looking down at you with that sickeningly handsome smirk. you’re almost there, he can practically feel it.
“i—i’m..still mad at you” you stutter out weakly, your defenses are down.
“yeah ?” he taunts.
“yeah. apologize.”
he scoffs, rolling his eyes lightheartedly “why should i apologize ? you said my fuckin’ feet stink.”
“ ah, ah, ah.” you tut “don’t put words in my mouth, i said your feet were crusty.”
“yeah, thanks babe. that makes it so much better.” he sasses, you laugh “and i complimented you ! i said you were an amazing cook !”
“yeah but that ain’t a compliment, ‘ts a fact.” he says matter of factly, you’re eyes threaten to get stuck at the back of your skull with how hard you roll them and he snickers.
he dives in and steals a kiss, and then another one when you don’t stop him. when he pulls away to catch his breath, ready to steal another kiss you stop him by placing your hand on his chest. he looks down at you questioningly and you give him a raised brow in response. he groans.
“fine. m’sorry” he concedes quietly
“foooorrr ?” you urge.
he narrows his eyes at you as if saying “don’t push it” but swallows his words down “ for not askin’ you to be my valentine’s or whatever the fuck” he shoves his now hot face into your neck and mumbles “now quit bein’ all pissed at me.”
you’re happy enough with that, so you wrap your arms around his neck, one of your hands creeping up his nape and into his hair. he sighs contentedly, clearly enjoying the attention you’re giving him.
“thank you. i’m also sorry for saying you have crusty feet.” hearing him scoff at the accusation makes you giggle “and for putting you up for sale.” he hums, happy with your apology.
“..kinda.”
“oi.” he warns. you giggle in response continuing your ministrations in his hair.
“you still haven’t asked me so..” you trail off. he lifts his head up to look at you with a blond eyebrow raised.
“ does this valentine shit really matter that much to you ?” he asks.
you respond immediately “yes.” nodding aggressively to make your point.
he sighs, shaking his head. he looks at you, then looks off to the side in embarrassment, he can be so cute when he wants to be. steeling his nerves he looks you straight in the eyes. fearless with fierce red cheeks and all.
“b-be my valentine, idiot..”
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threewholeants · 8 months
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— texting jjk men… 𖦹 ׂ 𓈒 ⋆ ۪
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— bf!yuuta texts & tweets ;
requested! suggestive at times (like two jokes abt suckin dick) nd also ? maybe a warning for slight yan!yuuta??
A/N: woaw i do not know why this took me so long to write! i feel like this is BAD so pls.. tell me off if i’m even SLIGHTLY mischaracterising this man bc i’ll kms 🙁
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matching profiles + ??? rika ???
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random + me unapologetically itafushi truthing !
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the kaomojis r making me laugh justtt a little..
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yuu being the sweetest boy to every exist?? + the funniest tweet ever + aw gojo can be sweet sometimes!
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jealous babygirl and maybe a smidge of yan!yuuta?? as a treat??? (this bit. made me a little sicky to write bc he jus sounds like my ex LOL….. but it’s ok bc it’s yuuta!)
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thanku 4 reading !! hope u enjoyed <3 pls be sure to reblog, comment, or send an ask if u enjoyed !!
u can find more of my stuff here !
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©2024 threewholeants. pls do not copy any of my writing, or concepts and/or translate, repost, or recommend onto any other sites without my explicit permission !!
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elliesdoll · 6 months
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pt.2 to my angsty loser!ellie drabble 𝜗𝜚
nsfw! ellie gets caught and that’s literally it. i hate this so bad but it’s whateva
(part 3 will have lesbian gay lesbian boob vagina butt sex i promise. no more ellie masturbating)
find pt.1 here! & pt.3 here :3
daily click! don’t buy tlou free palestine
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after ellie’s pathetic masturbation sesh, she vowed to herself to fucking pull it together.
she wasn’t gonna let herself mope over you, because she knew you had an active sex life. she forced herself to be fine with it. to be fine with the people you decided to bring to your bed. she wanted to be near you without feeling this suffocating feeling of yearning and lust filling her insides.
and if that meant tucking her feelings to the deepest pits of hell, then so fucking be it.
a few weeks had passed since that little moment you and ellie had. the one where she had showed up to your house in the middle of you hooking up with someone.
the morning after, she has awoken to a string of texts from you, all apologizing for that awkward moment.
11:34pm
ellie i’m so sorry you had to see me like that. i didn’t mean to come off rude.
i wanted to go after you but i couldn’t really leave her alone in my house lol
els?
i’m really sorry. i hope u don’t think you can’t come to my house ever again ☹️ i actually thought it was sweet you showed up like that.
2:12am
goodnight ellie. i hope things aren’t awkward between us.
god, you made her feel awful. you were too fucking sweet to her. the way you never missed a single night when telling her goodnight, even after something like that. she rubbed her swollen face, mainly from crying, and typed a short message to you.
9:47am
hey, sorry for rushing away like that. idk why i did that lmfao
and things aren’t awkward at all, i shouldn’t have just showed up unnanounced
no els seriously! you should do that more often. tbh i wanted to hang out with you more than that girl… but yk i couldn’t 💔💔
she smiled at your kind text, glad that you two could just put it behind yourselves. her moment of relief was quickly replaced by disgust, when she saw the state of herself and her bed. her inner thighs sticky with dried cum, and her sheets below her still damp with all the extra release.
“gross..” she mumbled to herself, getting up and immediately throwing on some boxers and a tshirt, feeling way too vulnerable being naked like that. she went to the bathroom and cleaned herself up, then threw her sheets in the wash.
since then, you two have been fine. you do your weekly hangout sessions, where you grab food and talk about anything for hours on end. it’s almost as if nothing happened.
until one of your sleepovers.
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you always convinced ellie to spend the night at your house, at least every other week. whenever it’d get dark outside and ellie would start to get up, you’d give her that irresistible pout and “ughhh, c’mon els.. just spend the night. it’s too dark out for you to go home.”
and every damn time, she agreed. how could she ever say no to you?
one night, you and ellie are high out of your minds, talking about god knows what. all giggly and soft, you two exchange jokes and stories that really make no sense. but, to you two, it’s the funniest thing in the world. after a laughing fit between the two of you, you wipe your tears and sigh.
“god, i love you.”
you say, still catching your breath from that tummy tensing laugh. the words were just an expression of admiration for her. but to ellie, they were so much more.
“i love you too.”
she says, looking you in the eyes. she’s high, so she’s not thinking too hard about how sincere she sounds. but she really should’ve, because that soft tone of her voice and the glint in her eyes make it sound way too fucking real.
“woah,” you let out a nervous, breathy chuckle. “that was a bit theatrical.”
“wh..what do you mean?”
ellie asks, getting a bit nervous. she’s not her usual, stuttery self though. she keeps it together. thanks to the weed.
“just the way you said i love you. it felt like… deep.”
you move your hands as you talk, and ellie just shrugs. but she knows she’s fucked. before she could stop her feelings from resurfacing, she gets that familiar tingle in her belly and pounding of her heart.
“shut up,” she rolls her eyes, trying to play it off.“you’re dramatic.”
her voice wavered with those last words. fuck, her voice wavered. why did she feel like she was gonna have a breakdown any second now? she had to get the hell away from you.
“gotta piss. be back in a bit.”
ellie says quickly, so quick you don’t even have time to retort to her calling you dramatic. you just sit there, confused. you could’ve sworn you heard some uncertainty in her voice, but you let her go.
meanwhile, ellie made a beeline for your bathroom. she shut the door and leaned her head against the wood. she let out a deep sigh, trying to calm herself. the fact that she felt the most intense feeling that she couldn’t even describe over a mere “i love you” had her cringing.
she just couldn’t get over you. the entire night, she tried her best not to think about how good your tits looked in your pajama top, or how badly she wanted to just shove her face into your ass in those little shorts.
her thinking over these details led to the predicament that she’s in right now. sweatpants around her knees, legs slightly spread as she rubs one out while leaned up against your bathroom sink. her eyes are shut and her head is thrown back, letting out the quietist grunts she could muster.
she knew she shouldn’t be doing this, she promised herself that she would stop. but god, you made it hard. she was so wet, it made her cheeks flush red. the simple thought of you had her literally dripping around her own fingers.
you were still in your room, biting your thumbnail as you wait for ellie. you start to get worried, thinking you made her upset by commenting on how she said ‘i love you’. so, you being the thoughtful friend you are, go to check on her.
you quietly walk to the bathroom, putting your ear against the door. you were going to knock and mutter a little “els? are you okay?”, but the sounds you heard made you lose all the words in your mouth.
soft, sharp inhales and tiny sticky noises is all you can hear through the door. it’s a bit hard to listen to, since the soft buzz of the yellow light in there overpowers it. what the hell is she doing in there?
you knew this was wrong. an invasion of privacy to the max. but your curiosity was getting the better of you, and you were worried. you put your hand on the doorknob and slightly twisted it, not expecting it to open. but it did.
did ellie forget to lock the door?
ellie doesn’t hear the soft click of the door opening, too lost in her own pleasure as she practically humps her own hand. it had been too fucking long since she could touch herself to the thought of you. her only guilty pleasure.
her head was still thrown back, eyes squeezed shut as she rubbed her clit at a shockingly fast pace. and you saw it all. you had opening the door just enough for half of your face to see through the opened crack. your whole body froze at the sight in front of you.
she was so captivating. her face looking all fucked out, her pale thighs that were so tensed up, the shininess of her slick that smeared on the heel of her palm. even the quick glimpses of her gorgeous auburn bush that you could see if her hoodie rode up enough.
your tummy felt weird. first, you felt guilty for eavesdropping on your best friend. second, you were confused why the fuck ellie decided now would be the best time to masturbate. third, you were turned on. disgustingly turned on, at that.
a few seconds of watching ellie made your panties get all sticky and wet, and that burning hot feeling in your lower belly. you couldn’t look away.
“ohh, fuck— please,”
your brain short circuited hearing ellie say that. god, she was so lost in her own pleasure. so lost that she accidentally knocked over your toothbrush and hand soap on the sink, causing her to jolt and snap her eyes open.
she looks down at the bottle of soap and toothbrush that landed in front of the bathroom door. the door that’s cracked. her eyes shoot up, and there’s where she sees a glimpse of you running away. a quick flash, but she knew it was you.
she is so fucked.
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I HATE RHISNSO BAD RRRR😡
btw i finished this literally like 3 days ago and didn’t wanna post it hut i did anyway ☺️☺️
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wilwheaton · 4 days
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I'm watching your celebrity family feud episode and just diieedd at "a nice sweater" 😅💙. On a scale of 1-10, how anxiety-inducing is being on family feud? While you were so charming, I feel like my mind would immediately go blank every time Steve asked me something.
I'll put it this way. My 12 year-old nephew texted me, "Uncle Wil, you're a Jeopardy champion. Do better."
LOL. Noted, my love.
Family Feud was just orders of magnitude more difficult than Jeopardy was. Jeopardy was something I could prepare for, and Family Feud was really a lot of guessing and hoping that whatever I answered landed in the same place as 100 random people. There's very little time to think of an answer, so I took whatever the first thing that came into my mind was, locked it, and then tried to think of a backup, in case it was taken or a strike already.
More than once, my first and second choices were taken when it got to me, and I was just like "... uhhhh.... Woozle Wuzzle?"
And the whole time, Carrie's Mom is in my head going THEY'RE ALL GOING TO LAUGH AT YOU! THEY'RE ALL GOING TO LAUGH AT YOU! So it just gets more and more tense until you just wish Flanders was dead.
The funniest thing is that Deadliest Catch, before the game, was convinced they were going to get smoked. I'd like to say that it was a brilliant bit of rope-a-dope, but I think they were legitimately better in the format than we were, and they deserved the win.
And if it matters, they were all really lovely to us. I was like HOLY SHIT YOU ARE CAPTAIN JONATHAN AND YOU ARE CAPTAIN STIG AND I CAN'T EVEN. They couldn't have been more friendly, or more patient with this guy right here, who can't keep his enthusiasm bottled up when he is in the presence of legends.
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yusiyomogi · 2 months
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From what I've gleaned through talking with translators, Dungeon Meshi doesn't use Japanese honorifics as often as most manga. Is that true? If so, can you tell us all details about who uses honorifics, when, and for whom? Would love to hear all about it! (Room Surprise)
it's true and you can notice it easily when you watch the anime in japanese. i think it happens pretty often when manga or anime try to portray western settings, especially fantasy settings, since they come with their own set of tropes. most obviously, you'll notice that [ちゃん] "chan" and [くん] "kun" honorifics are almost entirely absent, since their role is less important for casual conversations. but here is where manga usually encounter the problem that it still needs to use some honorifics to show the difference in the way people address each other: you can't just use "mister" or "miss" or "sir", it'll look unnatural. so, no matter what, manga still needs to use honorifics.
the first and most obvious honorific you'll encounter in the manga is [兄さん] "nii-san" - "older brother", the way falin usually address laios. it seems like falin, in general, a character who uses honorifics pretty often, likely to give her speech more cute and polite tone. another notable example is when she calls marcille [お姉さん] "onee-san" - "older sister" in the flashbacks, something that girls sometimes use to call their older friends. i haven't noticed her using it in the current time though, she just mostly calls her "marcille".
probably the funniest use of honorifics in the manga is in chapter 13, after chilchuck says that he's actually 29 years old. while senshi and marcille react like chilchuck is still young, laios with some hesitation and awkwardness calls him "chilchuck-san". obviously [さん] "san" is pretty known honorific that's used to show respect, often to older people. chilchuck was not amused.
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i'll mention here that most of the younger characters still address much older characters with "san", like in a case of tansu, even if it's not necessary applied to characters like senshi. but this is a common rule, "san" is still used most of the time for older characters, since it'd be simply too rude not to use it. students in magic school from flashbacks also use "san" to refer to marcille, but it has less to do with her age and more with their admiration of her.
island governor uses [殿] "dono" to address tansu, which is one of the most respectful honorifics, but often used by people of the same high social status. it also can be translated as "lord" in that setting, which is more appropriate, i think. tansu calls the governor [島主殿] "shimanushi-dono", literally "the lord of the island" and that's how other people call him too.
interestingly enough, that's also how yaad calls laios in their first meeting - "laios-dono", likely because yaad is both extremely polite and wants to show deep respect to someone he already sees as future king.
as you can guess, characters from fantasy country inspired by japan also use some specific honorifics. maizuru and the rest of toshiro's team calls toshiro [坊っちゃん] "botchan" - "young master", which is very polite, but can feel a bit humiliating for adult man, i think, since it has a secondary meaning of "greenhorn" or "spoiled kid" (lol). not necessary in that setting or context though!
kabru is one of the politest people in the story, so he uses respectful honorifics pretty consistently. he pays a lot of attention to social hierarchies and has a good control of the way he speaks and how familiar he can act with other people. he addresses toshiro as "toshiro-san" throughout the story and he also calls laios "laios-san" at least a first few times they speak to each other. I noticed that when he speaks with laios he also adresses falin as laios' [妹さん] "imoto-san" - "younger sister" in the same respectful manner. he usually drops the honorifics when he feels like he's gotten close to a person.
canaries aren't particularly respectful in their speech in general, though they still abide to general rules. when it comes to specifics, pretty much everyone in the story uses [隊長] "taicho" to address mithrun. it can be translated as a "squad leader", but usually translated to something like "captain". for example, it's the same honorifics people use for major kusanagi in "ghost in the shell". as far as i can tell, the only time mithrun was addressed differently is in chapter 94, when kabru was trying to bring him back from his stupor and called him "mithrun-san" instead.
that's what i've been able to find so far! if i find anything else, i'll just add it to this post.
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hey! since you said you liked doing the hc ask, do you have any modern!hcs of the gang?
I love modern AU’s lol, so here are my favorite hcs from that
Ponyboy like constantly has headphones in, it’s a genuine problem. Darry tells him he isn’t allowed to walk outside with them in but lets be honest bro does not listen
The entirety of the story from the book is chronicled on Reddit because Darry made a post asking for advice and had to keep updating it as everything went more to shit
Soda, Two-Bit, and Steve make fake cringe videos and think it’s the funniest thing ever
Dally definitely has multiple burner phones he uses for illegal activities
Soda drinks Monster energy drinks like nobody’s business. Steve once saw him go through five in one day and had to cut him off
This isn’t as much a modern thing as in general, but especially in a modern context Ponyboy is an absolute academic weapon. Like people are FIGHTING over him for group projects
Curly straight up uses Google and chat gpt for all his classes. Bro cheats on everything and it pisses Ponyboy off so much
Soda and Steve are constantly sending each other the most out of pocket Instagram reels. Like Steve will just be going about his day and get smth like ‘I’m glad you didn’t drip down your moms leg, you’re pretty cool’
Soda posts himself crying with Snapchat filters. Ponyboy Caught him doing it once and was like ‘you don’t even deserve comfort’
Ponyboy watches those YouTube video essays to do homework. Soda once caught him watching an 8 hour video on FNAF lore. He doesn’t play FNAF
The gang likes to play horror games and survival games together. I may do a batch of headcannons just about these
Darry is actually pretty well versed in internet trends but pretends not to be because he finds watching the gang try to explain skibidi toilet to him very funny
Soda, Two-Bit, and Steve are constantly screaming ‘GYATT’ at eachother
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winterdaphne2 · 3 months
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Favorite Johnlock Fics (BBC Sherlock)
I went on a bit of a fic-reading spree this spring, and this list of favorites is the result! There are many other fics that I’ve enjoyed reading, but these are the ones that I’ve really loved for one reason or another.
I’ve tagged the authors whose tumblrs I could find. If that’s you, thank you so much for sharing your writing with us. If your work is on here, you wrote something that I really treasure.
1. A River Without Banks, by Chryse. E, 203,286 words. Starts right after Season 3. A mix of Sherlock’s perspective, John’s perspective, and the perspectives of other characters. Sherlock-focused for the first half.
Author’s summary: “‘You love this, being Sherlock Holmes.’ He had once. When had it all gone so wrong?”
This is my absolute favorite. The author’s characterization of Sherlock is amazingly accurate, and Sherlock’s character development over the course of the story is breathtakingly executed and moving. The plot is fantastic and takes you on a page-turning emotional roller coaster, especially for about the first half of the story. I was also continually impressed by how many details from the show and references to earlier parts of the fic the author was able to weave in throughout while still keeping the story creative and original. Most importantly, though, I love this fic for the message that it sends about Sherlock and John’s love, which is a far more positive message than the one that the actual show settled upon in the end. I’m grateful that we have this version of their love story, and, personally, I like to pretend that this was Season 4 and how the show ended.
2. Another Country, by Chryse. E, 67,414 words. Starts right after the end of TAB. Sherlock’s perspective.
Sherlock spends one month and three days under house arrest in 221B, trying to get clean from the drugs, track down the new Moriarty, and figure out what the hell is going on between him and John.
Another fantastic work by Chryse. This author really gets Sherlock’s character, and once again the characterization of Sherlock is spot-on and convincing. There are a few other elements that also make this a compelling story, including smart use of minor characters, a solid central mystery, and a complicated relationship between Sherlock and John that includes a pretty convincing post-Season-3 version of John. Excellent.
3. walk through ghosts, by @augustbird. M, 6,125 words. Written between Seasons 2 and 3. Sherlock’s perspective.
Author’s summary: “The thing is: Sherlock thought that the two of them would have forever to figure it out.”
This is the saddest fic I have ever read, and so beautifully written. The author captures Season 2 Sherlock’s character perfectly; the fact that this story feels so real is what makes it devastating. The day after I read this, I couldn’t stop thinking about it and walked around with my heart physically aching in my chest.
4. Nature and Nurture, by @earlgreytea68. M, 203,273 words. Set sometime after Season 2. Alternates between John’s and Sherlock’s perspectives, but mostly told from John’s.
The British government clones Sherlock. He and John decide to raise the baby.
A true fandom classic. The premise sounds super cracky, but somehow it really works. This fic is surprisingly serious at times, but overall it is the cutest and funniest thing I have ever read in my life. Basically 200,000+ words of Sherlock and John being adorable gay fathers together and working through some feelings, with line-by-line some of the most hilarious dialogue ever. The five accompanying ficlets that the author wrote as short follow-ups are also worth checking out; my favorites were School (T, 4,753 words) and The Radovljica Apicultural Museum (T, 4,540 words).
5. To a Friend Who Sent Me Roses, by @algyswinburne. E, 16,147 words. Set sometime after Season 4 (but ignores TFP, as we all should lol). Sherlock’s perspective.
Author’s summary: “Five times Sherlock is mistaken for John’s partner and Rosie’s father, and one time it isn’t a mistake.”
This fic is sad, sweet, and hot by turns. Absolutely lovely to read in so many ways, and with so many great details and lines. I think this story offers convincing portrayals of what Sherlock’s and John’s characters might be like after it all and how they might finally get together. This and A River Without Banks are my favorite alternate endings to the show. Beautiful!
6. for all that bitter delights will sour, by @darcylindbergh. E, 9,585 words. Set sometime after Season 3. Sherlock’s perspective.
John initiates a sexually and emotionally abusive relationship with Sherlock.
The second saddest fic I have read. I would never want what happens in this fic to happen to Sherlock and John, so I don’t exactly recommend it as a Johnlock fic. But as a short story, this is a gem, full of absolutely gorgeous and incredibly moving writing. It depicts difficult themes very deftly, in lines and paragraphs that I had to stop to read over and over. I appreciate this as an emotionally powerful and thought-provoking piece of writing inspired by Sherlock, so for that reason I think it deserves to be on this list.
7. The Ground Beneath Your Feet, by Chryse. E, 68,803 words. Set after Season 3, but as if the last two minutes of HLV never happened. “The plane went on to Eastern Europe, and this is what came after.” John’s perspective.
This fic is pretty dark; the author describes it as “a PTSD story in which John was wholly devoted to Sherlock.” I don’t love it quite as much as the other two fics by Chryse that I’ve listed here, but that’s mostly because those two are just so amazing! I still really enjoyed this one. It was wonderful to see a kind and caring version of John emerge out of Season 3, and the story had several memorable moments, including one particularly nail-biting scene. I also really liked seeing John and Mycroft become friends as they bonded over their shared concern for Sherlock.
8. The Adventures of a Single Girl in London (Plus a Consulting Detective), by @earlgreytea68. M, 32,913 words. Set soon after Season 3. Alternates between different characters’ perspectives.
Bored with life at her new cottage in Sussex, Janine returns to London and moves in with Sherlock at 221B. Hilarity, heartbreak, and eventual Johnlock ensue.
This is a Season 3 fix-it fic that features an absolutely lovely friendship between Sherlock and Janine and the best version of Janine that I’ve come across in a fic. Sherlock is vulnerable and sweet, John is an absolute idiot, Janine is perfect, and the last two chapters just make me scream. Great stuff.
And that’s it for now! If you know of any other fics that I might like based on the above, I’d be happy to hear about them, so drop me a line!
Happy reading 😊
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lovelyhan · 2 years
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Hii!! minghao + "oh really?" / "yes, really." / "lying doesn't suit you, sweetheart." from the prompts enemies to lovers? :D
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— rush hour ⟢
pairing: minghao x reader
summary: you used to be good friends with the newest dancer in your agency, but your competitiveness gets the better of you when he overtakes your spot as the top performer of the month—for three straight months.
word count: 6.7k words
tags: enemies to lovers, dancer au? unresolved sexual tension, smut
warnings: promiscuous behavior in public, graphic sexual content (minors dni!!)
notes: this . got really REALLY long :D like long enough to have its own header and everything LOL it probably helps that hao has been clawing his way back into my bias line these days, so the brain rot kinda just spilled out,, anyway, thank you sm for sending this in!! i hope you like it :3c
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smut tags: porn with some plot ig, public sex, vaginal fingering, exhibitionism, hao is kinky as fuck, dirty talk, degradation
svt taglist: @wonderfulshinee - @misssugarlips - @yourfavoritefreakyhan - @jeanjacketjesus - @just-here-to-read-01 - @hanihans - @venusrae - @taestrwbrry - @minnie-mouser22 - @dreamhannies - @thvhannie - @kkooongie - @gae-uls - @lenireads - @gaebestie - @ryusha-rose - @enhacolor - @ilyvern - @woo8hao - @spk93 - @tommolex
minghao taglist: @zeenanigans - @renjunphile - @pluviophile-xxx
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Saying that you hate Xu Minghao is a bit of an overstatement. 
After all, you were the one assigned to show him the ropes when he was accepted into the agency. While you’re no professional mentor, you like to think he was able to rely on you during those first few weeks. He’s been in Seoul for a better part of two years, and although his Korean can already pass as a native’s, you knew he still struggled every now and again. It’s a good thing that verbal communication isn’t direly needed in your line of work.
Minghao was an excellent dancer—one of the best you’ve seen with your own eyes. You once took pride in having a budding prodigy like him as an understudy. Whatever steps or routines you’d ask him to try out and make his own, not only will he deliver, but he’ll blow your expectations out of the water while he’s at it, too. 
It doesn’t help that he knows his own body well enough to channel each movement with passion that makes him look alluring to everyone who dares to watch any of his performances. Minghao isn’t vain or conceited or anything like that, but he’s completely aware of how attractive he is, and that’s a trait that’s further amplified by his dancing. 
You suppose the funniest part about this senior-junior relationship you have with him is how he always asks for your input about his routines. Even if Minghao has long proved that he doesn’t even need a pseudo-mentor like you, he still takes the time to hear out whatever you have to say—eager eyes always shining every time you indulge him with an answer.
Another thing that inevitably brought the two of you closer is the fact that you both take the same train and get off at the same station. Your apartment is in a different neighborhood from his, but you find comfort in the newfound company you’ve been given since Minghao’s arrival. Though he doesn’t talk much outside discussions about work and other dance-related topics, having someone familiar to sit right next to you on the train is more than enough to quell the day’s fatigue.
Your other colleagues sometimes voice out their envious comments jokingly—saying that you’re extremely lucky to have such a hot guy as constant company. Almost always, you respond with a vigorous shake of your head before insisting that things between you and Minghao aren’t at all like that. Besides, you know better than to nurse a romantic relationship between your colleagues. You wouldn’t even let yourself have a crush on any of them. 
What they don’t know, however, is that on very rare occasions when your body feels just a little too heated, and your sheets a few threads too thick, it’s Minghao that flits into your mind as your hesitant fingers reach between your thighs. 
You touch yourself to the thought of him taking you in one of the dance studios. Specifically, in front of the full-stretch mirrors as he fucks you from behind. You imagine him whispering how good you are for him, how you’re taking his cock so, so well. 
Subverting the mere image of the kind man who constantly seeks your validation for his performance has you creaming on your own fingers within minutes, and if you weren’t such a terrible person, you would’ve felt bad for thinking about him in such an obscene light. 
Then again, what Minghao doesn’t know won’t kill him.
His first month in the agency comes and goes like the changing seasons. Next thing you know, it’s time for monthly evaluations again. 
While others would usually dread these assessments, you looked forward to them. You know that they’re less a measure of talent, and more a measure of hard work. Sure, talent could be one of the main driving factors of getting a high score, but you know better than anyone else that talent is nothing if you don’t work hard enough to cultivate it. 
That’s the kind of mindset that always landed you in the top of the rankings for every monthly evaluation.
And it’s the same mindset that puts you immediately beneath Minghao. 
The agency is always prompt with the release of the results. They’d post the typewritten scores next to the dancers’ names in the bulletin board at the ground floor cafeteria for everyone to see two days after the monthly evaluation.
It was a bit of a challenge to squeeze past the other dancers to get a good look at this month’s results—the crowd being more chatty than usual. Your closer friends insisted that you’d be number one as usual, and that you didn’t have to check at all. 
Part of you wants to believe them, but the unsettling feeling that pools in the pit of your stomach doesn’t let you become complacent. It doesn’t help that everyone around you seems like they’re sneaking glances your way—only to look away when you try to catch their gaze. 
When you finally make it to the front of the board, you notice that Minghao is already there—already dressed to kill for today’s sets and routines. His black hair is still damp like he just got out of the shower and rushed straight to work, eyes glued to the bulletin board. You would’ve let your gaze linger a bit longer on his gorgeous face, had it not been for the surprise that awaits you on that single sheet of paper plastered right in front of you.
1. Xu Minghao — 100 points
Your vision tunnels in, white noise ringing in your ears. 
You could vaguely make out the characters of your name just below Minghao’s, and just a few points from a perfect score. But you didn’t care about that. All you could focus on was the fact that you’ve been kicked out of a spot that’s been yours for as long as you can remember. 
No wonder the others were buzzing amongst themselves, flashing you brief looks before whispering their thoughts on the matter to the nearest willing ear. Not a single soul has ever garnered a hundred fucking points from monthly evaluations. The evaluators cut no corners when it came to assessing their dancers’ level of skill and technique, and seeing how they deigned to give Minghao, a complete newbie, a perfect goddamned score—
“Congratulations, bro!” 
“Minghao, you’re a fucking beast! How long did you even practice?”
“That’s so cool. No one’s ever gotten a perfect hundred before.”
“You’ve gotta tell us the secret, please!”
Like a bunch of bees, the collective of dancers start to crowd Minghao—giving him congratulatory gestures and greetings alike. Your understudy simply gazes at them as if in a daze, but ever-so slowly, a smile cracks through his typically stoic demeanor. 
“Uh, thank you…?”
He’s whisked away to the cafeteria before you can blink, and you can only watch in shocked desolation as they all usher themselves away from the board.
Away from you. 
You don’t miss the way Minghao tries to catch your gaze in the midst of it all, the smile he showcased for everyone to see falling the moment he realized you’re still rooted in place. Yet he doesn’t try to break free from the crowd, nor does he attempt to call your name out loud. 
Not that you have any plans on answering if he did.
It’s only after today’s session has concluded that Minghao manages to pull you to the side for a conversation. You’re already halfway out of the building when he catches you, and you can tell that the sheer euphoria of knowing you came out on top is still humming in his veins. 
It pisses you off.
“Thank you,” he says simply. 
“For what?” You try not to sound too gruff, but the pensiveness in your voice comes out anyway. “Letting you take my spot?”
Minghao’s grin dips into a grimace—mirroring his expression from earlier. “What? I meant to say thank you for showing me the ropes. If it weren’t for you, I wouldn’t have—hey!”
You’re probably being immature. No, you’re definitely being immature. Instead of accepting Minghao’s gratitude like a normal fucking person, you continue brisk-walking to the building’s entrance without letting him finish. Of course, he chases after you, asking if he did anything wrong or if you’re simply in a bad mood or both. 
You don’t answer him even when he continues pestering you on the way to the train station, and he doesn’t stop despite the lack of responses from your end. It’s beginning to get on your nerves, too, because he was never this goddamn pushy during all those times you went home together. What’s stopping him from being the quiet companion he’s always been?
“Can you just shut the fuck up, Hao?” you end up snapping at him when you finally get off at your shared station—earning yourself a bunch of questioning looks from nearby commuters. “You don’t have to fucking rub it in anymore than you have. I already know the results, okay?!”
“Rubbing what in?” he asks, exasperated. “I’m just asking you what’s wrong because you don’t normally act this way. Is it so bad for me to worry about my friend?”
“Friend?” you echo mirthlessly. “No fucking friend of mine takes away what belongs to me.”
This time, when you storm off, Minghao doesn’t follow you.
Fortunately, that all happened on a Friday. It takes you the entire weekend after that heated encounter at the train station to realize that maybe you went a little overboard with what you said to Minghao. 
As you replay your conversation in your head, you’re filled with a crippling sense of embarrassment. The top spot for monthly evaluations belongs only to the best—you know this better than anyone else. The only reason that the evaluators deemed you as a second placer is because Minghao is that proficient in his dancing. 
You’re one of the people who was able to watch him closest. You’ve seen the work he put into practice firsthand. You even called him a prodigy. 
So why did you make a fool out of yourself by having a meltdown at the fact that you got beaten by someone who obviously worked harder than you did?
Hard work beats talent any day. But Minghao has both honed to perfection. 
If you’re going to reclaim your rightful spot on the top, crying about it is the last thing you should do. You’re going to have to put in double the effort to call yourself worthy.
As expected, Minghao has started to distance himself from you after that spat. You don’t blame him. As much as you wanted to apologize for your behavior that night, you wouldn’t want to remain friends with a sore loser if you were in his shoes. 
But as his second month in the agency breezes past, you notice that, not only has he distanced himself, but he’s become somewhat…hostile.
He treats everyone else the same way since he came in—stoically with a few words of affirmation here and there. You, though? It’s almost like he’s forgotten all about the time you were assigned to look after him. There’s always this cockiness lingering in his eyes that grates at your nerves more than you thought it would. He’d throw you haughty glances whenever he catches you flubbing some parts of the choreography from the corner of his eye. 
The worst part is that Minghao is more vocal now compared to when he first came in—not seeing any problem with pointing out how you’re starting to slack off during practice. 
“How are you expecting yourself to take back the crown when you’re already breathless after such a simple routine?” he gloats when he catches you lingering by the water fountain, lips curved into a smirk.
You glare at him while you take a sip from your water bottle. “Fuck you. I’ve been rehearsing all fucking day. Who wouldn’t be tired?”
“People who rank first in monthly evals,” he says boredly. “Oh, but you wouldn’t know about that, now would you? At least, not anymore.”
You’re so fucking close to tearing his face off with your own fingernails that you’re slightly grateful that Minghao gets called back onto the dancefloor to polish his group’s routine. Minghao’s constitution changes in a flash—that arrogant look he reserves for you alone making way for his usual aloof expression while he makes his way back. 
He always looks cool and amicable to others, but when no one’s looking he makes sure you catch the patronizing tilt of his lips whenever he pulls off some high level choreography with zero mistakes. As if to remind you that you’re never going to take back what he stole from you. Not in a million years. 
Okay. Maybe you do hate Xu Minghao. 
You hate him a fucking lot.
Minghao proves that the results he reaped from his first month in the agency are no fluke.
For three consecutive months, you’re forced to stand in front of the cafeteria’s bulletin board with his name plastered on the very top. If you hadn’t known better, you would’ve thought that the evaluators were only editing the month indicated on top of the sheet with how stagnant the results always are. 
The agency’s rising star consistently comes out on top with little to no effort, while you’re desperately clawing your way back to glory at second place. 
You didn’t know what the fucking deal was. You worked your ass off twenty four-seven. Even if you weren’t in the studio, you made sure to study all sorts of routines and choreographies so your body would remember the movements deep into your bones. 
But then you remember that even if hard work beats talent, you can never beat a man who has both at his disposal.
You’re at your wits’ end at this point—so close to giving up on the title you thought would always belong to you. Your evasive behavior did you no favors in maintaining a good reputation among your colleagues either. If you listened to their hushed conversations closely enough, you’d catch them saying how pathetic you’re being. Ostracizing yourself all because you’re insecure that your understudy became your adversary. 
The only reason you hate what they’re saying about you behind your back is because all of it is true.
Your usual group of friends doesn’t sit with you at your usual table at the cafeteria anymore, but you don’t really mind that—learning this late into your career that silence can be more beneficial than it seems. But every time you see Minghao laughing at a joke told by one of your colleagues, you can’t help but feel that familiar bite of resentment you’ve come to associate with everything he does.
If only he didn’t overtake you during his first goddamn month here. If only he wasn’t the one assigned to be your understudy. Maybe the blow to your pride wouldn’t have been this bad. Maybe you wouldn’t be licking your wounds in your loneliness. 
Maybe you wouldn’t have lost a friend you actually liked having around.
With an upcoming dance competition, it’s no surprise that the dancers at your agency often stay behind to polish their performances to perfection. Usually, practices would adjourn hours before the sun even sets, but these days, you find yourself exiting the building no earlier than nine PM. 
The excessive practice time has been taking a toll on you—this much you know. Your muscles have been sore for days, and no amount of painkillers and Salonpas can easily cure your affliction right away. So for tonight, you decide to take it easy—packing up once the clock hits six o’clock. The last thing you want is to accidentally pull something you shouldn’t, thus rendering your participation in the competition null and void.
But as you walk towards the train station, you realize that perhaps staying later was a smarter move after all. All around you, commuters of all ages and walks of life brush past you in their haste—the need to arrive home as soon as possible like a cloud on everybody’s heads. The closer you got to the station, the more it dawned on you.
It’s fucking rush hour.
You’ve always avoided going home during this time for two reasons. The first is the influx of commuters that’s literally and figuratively too suffocating to deal with, especially when your physical constitution isn’t in the best shape. 
The second is…because you noticed that, ever since your platonic breakup, Minghao has started leaving the studio at this hour. Later than your previous commutes home, but earlier than your new work-yourself-to-the-bone schedule. Sure, he’s still the biggest fucking prick to walk the earth whenever he feels like taunting you during practice, but he doesn’t seem interested in working overtime. 
If you’re being completely honest, you’re over the monthly evaluation results. Honest! You’ve just come to accept that nothing is ever set in stone.
Things change all the time. Humans used to believe the earth was flat. The Athenians once thought of Plato’s bullshit as the gospel truth, and—
You dared to assume you’ll be on top of the world forever.
What happened months ago was a reality check, and slowly but surely, you’re relearning the difference between ambitious and obnoxious. It’s a humbling experience that you’re honestly grateful for happening because…if it weren’t for that harsh reminder that there’ll always be someone out there who’s better than you, then you wouldn’t strive to improve at all.
You let out a quaint sigh when you settle into the train. As expected, tonight’s commuters have filled it out to complete capacity, and you wouldn’t have caught the last available space near the doors if you hadn't sprinted like a madman. Though your aching muscles practically scream in complaint, you comfort yourself with the promise of a long soak in your bathtub the moment you get home.
The smooth tone of the announcer’s voice rings from the overhead speakers, telling all passengers to step away from the doors, as the train is about to leave. Not that any of you can help it. You’re all packed like sardines in what’s usually a pretty spacious train car if you came in just an hour earlier or later. 
All of a sudden, you find yourself missing those days where you’d sit on the side where you could see the sunset breezing past the windows—listening to the stories of someone you can’t even hold a civilized conversation with anymore. But before that train of thought can progress any further, you shake your head as if the mere gesture alone can dispel your longing.
You try to press yourself back to avoid getting crushed by the automatic doors, muttering a quiet apology to the person behind you since you ended up subsequently squeezing him further into the crowd of cramped passengers. When the doors finally close, you hear him say a quick it’s okay, back at you, you’re forced to whip around in the limited space with your mouth agape.
Right behind you is Xu Minghao, looking just as distressed as you are.
He’s changed out of his usual practice clothes—having exchanged it for an oversized crewneck and sweats. His expensive headphones hang unused around his neck, and you wonder if you wouldn’t have noticed each other if only he was blasting music directly into his ears…
The urge to take back your courteous apology is strong, but you would much rather not give him any more of your energy than you already have. You’d take all his insults and badmouthing head-on in the studio, but it’s been a really long day, and you don’t have enough fire going to extend his hostility inside a crowded train in the middle of rush hour. 
“Why’re you out so early?”
You can feel gooseflesh prickle the skin of your shoulders when you feel Minghao’s breath next to your ear. A glare settles between your eyes as you jolt away from him in the limited space that affords you to do so. 
“Watch it, asshole. You’re way too close for comfort,” you hiss. “And the time I go home is none of your business.”
Minghao shrugs. “I dunno, you always stay late to practice. Is it so bad to be curious?”
“Yeah, because if it hasn’t occurred to you yet, I actually hate your guts, and I don’t appreciate you talking to me like we’re friends.”
He falls silent for a moment, and in the next moment the train lurches into motion—nearly catching you off balance. You’re quick to brace a hand against the door, but you startle again when you feel a large hand around your arm, touching you in a way that’s meant to steady. You spare Minghao another glance, but there’s less vitriol laced in your gaze and more confusion.
“Are we…” he whispers, gaze shied away from yours as he maintains a steady grip on your arm. Then, he gulps. “Are we not friends anymore?”
Again, you scowl. 
Is he being real with you right now?
“Dude, I am completely over the monthly evaluations if you think that’s the reason I’m being the way I am with you,” you hiss. “I was going to apologize after I said all that hurtful stuff in the past. But then you went ahead and started writing your very own villain arc. So, ask yourself: were you even my friend at all, Hao?”
The sound of that nickname making its way past your lips is familiar yet foreign at the same time. During these past few months, you’ve never once called Minghao anything else but asshole, dick, jerk, self-centered punk, and other variations of those words. You don’t want to admit it, but calling him by something that’s close to an endearment makes you feel like there’s cotton sticking to the roof of your mouth. 
Minghao doesn’t respond yet again, and you force yourself to face forward—leaning your head against the glass of the door so you wouldn’t have to look back at him anymore. You’re pretty sure the salaryman right next to you has been eavesdropping on your conversation this entire time, but it’s not like he has any other choice given the circumstances. 
You let the constant whir of the train engine lull you into a calmer disposition, heartbeat finally equalizing after everything you just shot at Minghao. That’s probably the most you’ve said to him all month, and to say that you’re not the least bit embarrassed about how you admitted wanting to apologize for a past transgression is a blatant lie. 
But what’s done is done. You’re just going to have to accept the fact that the man you once thought of as a good friend; the same man who’s now the main antagonist of your life and career, is standing behind you in your rush hour commute. Just twenty minutes more, and he’ll be out of your hair soon. 
Much to your delight, Minghao keeps his mouth shut until the train pulls over at the next station. The doors open with a mechanical ding, accompanied by the announcer's voice yet again. You’ve heard the monologue thousands of times, but you don’t quite hear it over the throng of passengers rushing to get off the train. 
You make way for them by scooting towards the back of the car, and Minghao does the same. But instead of shuffling away from you the moment there’s more room to move around like you thought he would, he lingers closely to your form. 
However, the amount of people that got off on this station is quickly replenished by a new horde of passengers—quickly filling in the space you thought would last for at least a few more stations. Once again, you find yourself slowly being squeezed closer to the corner of the car, but for some reason, Minghao wedges himself between you and the unassuming college boy whose wireless earphones are plugged in as he scrolls through his phone. 
When you realize what he’s trying to do, you say, “You don’t have to protect me or anything. I’m fine on my own.”
Minghao rolls his eyes. “You obviously didn’t see how you looked like you’re about to get crushed. Just thank me and we’re good.”
A biting retort is already resting on your tongue with how passive-aggressive that response of his sounds like. What the hell is his problem? It’s not like you asked for him to shield you from the other passengers. 
And yet…
“Thanks, I guess.”
You watch him visibly stiffen at your words, and you feel your heart slamming into your ribcage the moment you utter them. Did you really just thank the same man who’s been making your life at work a living hell for months?
The train starts to pick up speed again before you can answer that yourself.
You practically glare at the corner you’ve been forced into the entire trip to the next station. Minghao is right behind you, but you can’t be assed to worry about that when you’re chewing your lip out of frustration. Part of you feels relieved that you swallowed your pride and thanked him, but the part that’s been receiving the brunt of his antagonism for the past half year hisses in disagreement.
He’s an asshole. He’s a self-centered prick that uses people as stepping stones. He’s—
“...Sorry.”
You refuse to turn around. You refuse to believe that he’s actually—
“I’m sorry for being a jerk to you,” Minghao murmurs, and you feel his fingers graze your shoulder as if to emphasize the words with the sincerity of his touch. “I just… I didn’t know how to act when you lashed out at me back then. Y-You were my only friend, and I thought you’d be proud that I achieved something after working so hard for an entire month.”
You’re at a loss for words, completely stunned by the honesty in his voice. You’ve only known Minghao for a short while—been on good terms with him for even shorter—but you can always tell whenever he’s lying. 
This is not one of those times.
“A…friend of mine told me that I tend to act based on how I’m treated,” he continues. “I know that doesn’t excuse how I’ve been acting around you for so long, but… I guess when I got the hint that you hated me, the only way I could cope with that is to hate you right back. Even if I really didn’t.”
No. This isn't real. You’re dreaming. This is probably a side-effect from all those late hours you’ve spent in the studio—
You let out a soft squeak when you feel him rest his forehead against the back of your head, sighing so deeply, it makes you wonder how long he’s been thinking about apologizing properly. Minghao grips your arms again, not to help maintain your balance, but more to anchor himself onto his own. 
“I don’t care if everyone else in the studio looks at me like I’m some sort of god on the dancefloor,” he admits, voice so quiet, you could barely hear him. “The only person I’d want to look at me is you.” 
Your breath hitches, and you’re sure he hears it. 
“Can we please go back to normal again?” Minghao pleads. “I miss hearing your comments about my dances. I miss going home together.
“I miss you.”
The sincerity in his voice singes through you like a red-hot iron poker. You don’t know what to say, what to feel. All you can focus on is the stuttering breaths Minghao takes from behind you. 
If you’ve ever imagined reconciling with him, this certainly isn’t the most optimal venue. But now that he’s bared his defenses, you don’t see any benefit to keeping up your own.
“I’m…sorry and I missed you, too,” you admit somewhat sheepishly, thanking the higher deities up there that he can’t see the way your blood rushes to your cheeks. “But I don’t really know how to—”
Your sentence is cut off mid-way when the train abruptly runs into a bump on the tracks, forcing Minghao’s body against yours when he momentarily loses his footing. It’s an accident, and you wouldn’t have minded since some turbulence in this part of the city isn't rare at all. But that split second where Minghao got thrown against you from the impact made you all too cognizant of how thin the material of both your skirt and his sweatpants are.
“Sorry, sorry,” Minghao sighs before bracing an arm towards one of the walls to your left. The rustle of his clothes gives rise to the scent of his cologne wafting to your nostrils—a fresh, not-too-musky aroma that makes your head spin despite.
Just your luck, the train pitches to the side and you feel Minghao’s groin brush against your ass once again. This time, you’re not strong enough to hold down the soft whimper that tumbles out of your lips, and you don’t even feel ashamed about it.
Suddenly, you remember a time from back then where you’d spend your nights getting off to the same man who’s unknowingly sparking your arousal in the unlikeliest of places. You’ve once fucked yourself to the thought of him, so what’s the use with getting embarrassed now? As long as he doesn’t know, you should be fine.
Except Minghao isn’t deaf, and he definitely picked up on that suggestive little noise you just made.
Experimentally, he lets one of his hands dip lower and lower until his fingertips brush the hem of your skirt. That sinfully short skirt that keeps riding up your thighs every time you do a rather bold move during practice. His eyes are completely trained on you even if you’re still facing the corner, and when he feels you shiver, all the blood in his system rushes down south.
“You’re into this?” Minghao chuckles, bracing his hands on your hips before sliding his growing arousal against the ridge of your ass. “My… I didn’t think mending our friendship again would go this swimmingly. How about I take you out to dinner first?”
“Hao!” you chastise him with a poisonous look, but from the way you subtly rock your hips in time with his movements, Minghao can tell that dinner is the last thing on your mind right now.
He chuckles softly, keeping one hand steady on your hip while the other dips beneath your skirt again. When his fingers immediately press down against the gusset of your underwear, Minghao has to bite down a groan because of the wet patch that’s already accumulated at the center. 
“Not only did you ditch your shorts, but you’re already this wet? From a little grinding?” he hisses into your ear. “Needy fucking slut.”
You can’t help the way your pussy clenches at the harsh name he just called you. It’s all so strange. You never once reacted this way whenever he called you a bitch or anything similar, but you suppose when you’ve made amends with a friend you’ve secretly been wanting to fuck since you first laid your eyes on him, there’s no use keeping up any charades.
“Your hatred was all just an act, isn’t it?” he laughs, nudging your underwear to the side so he can get a feel of just how wet you areas you spread your legs to accommodate him. “Do you rile me up on purpose because you can’t deal with the fact that you actually want me?”
"You're delusional," you bite back.
"Oh, really?"
"Yes, really."
Another low laugh rumbles in his chest and you swear you don't get wetter with each hum of it as he presses closer to your ear. "Lying doesn't suit you, sweetheart."
You’re about to answer him when the announcer’s voice rings from the speakers yet again, saying that the next station is approximately five minutes away. This promptly rips you out of your lustful haze as you realize you’re very much still in public, where dozens upon dozens of passengers still share the same car with the both of you. Minghao seems to pick up on your split-second realization, but doesn’t seem fazed by the idea of getting caught doing this in the presence of strangers.
“Lots of passengers are going to get off at the next station, but not a lot are going to get on like the last one,” he whispers before plunging two of his fingers into your sopping cunt without warning. 
You have to physically cover your mouth with your hand to keep yourself from gasping out loud. When you turn to look at Minghao again, eyes ablaze with disbelief, he simply flashes you an evil smile.
“If you want to come on my fingers, do it in five minutes, whore.”
The sensation of his long, slender digits curling inside you forces you to brace yourself against your tiny little corner of that train car. Your skin prickles everywhere as Minghao grinds his half-hard cock against your backside, all while he works between your pussy lips as if he’s thought about it dozens of times before. 
His digits dip in and out of your entrance like he doesn’t know what he wants to do first. Poke and prod at every inch of sensitive flesh there is or fuck you until you’re a moaning mess for everyone to see. Either way, you’re panting all while Minghao maps the expanse of your pussy with his touch alone, and every time those sinful fingers brush against your clit, you jolt in response.
“Shh,” he coos. “Don’t be too obvious, sweetheart. Wouldn’t want the entire train knowing how much of an impatient fucking slut you are—whoring all over my fingers ‘cause you can’t wait to get off the train.”
You involuntarily clench at his filthy words, begrudgingly unearthing a kink you didn’t even know you had. But at the mere mention of the other passengers, you let your eyes frantically pass over those nearby. You don’t know if they’re really preoccupied on their phones or pretending not to notice the act of indecency that’s happening right beneath their noses. The college boy that almost crushed you earlier is still banging his head to whatever song is playing on his phone, and you take that as a sign to let yourself go.
“Now that won’t do,” Minghao tuts before sliding his fingers back inside you, nudging your thighs even further apart before curling his digits just so. “How can you come in five minutes if you’re so distracted?”
“F-Fuck,” you whine as quietly as you can. “Hao, f-feels so good.”
“Yeah?” he laughs softly and your vision goes black for a moment when you feel his thumb graze your clit with just the right pressure. Just how dextrous can he be? “Then focus on my fingers, sweetheart. If you can’t come before the train arrives at the next station, maybe I’ll just go back to hating you tomorrow after all.”
You nearly choke on a moan when he starts to rub your sensitive nub in varying pressures and speeds, nearly robbing you of your ability to speak. “You’re a f-fucking asshole, you know that?”
“You’re a fucking bitch, but see where that got you now?”
It’s almost like you’re hard-wired to rebut everything he says, and you have all those months of shared antagonism to thank for it. But when Minghao crooks his fingers at a slightly different angle, your already sore legs nearly give out when his fingers hit you deep enough to make stars dance in the seams of your vision.
“Oh?” He sounds so smug, you actually want to hit him. “There it is.”
You can hardly believe it. You can barely find your own g-spot even on good days if you don’t put your back into using your toys right, yet Minghao got it in less than five minutes, inside a train full of passengers, no less?
Your brain has all but fizzled out when the pads of his fingers start to massage that sweet, sweet spot inside of you again—milking your body for all those lovely reactions you’re so willing to give to him. Minghao’s cock is an ever-present weight against your ass, but this isn’t about him. It’s about you, and how badly he wants to feel you come apart on his fingers right here, right now.
“You liked being fingered on the train, sweetheart?” Minghao rasps into your ear, relentless in his movements as tears start to line your lashes. “Like it when you supposedly hate the man that’s doing this to you? That’s made you this fucking wet?”
Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. You’d let him stick his dick into you right now if he wanted, but you know that Minghao isn’t going to risk that just yet. So instead, you focus on the sensation of those skillful fingers—the same ones you’ve dreamt about a long time ago—coaxing out a high you never thought you’d achieve outside the four corners of your bedroom. 
You can think about his stroke game later. Those powerful thighs as he thrusts into you. Not to mention how euphoric it would feel to come around his cock, milking him for that white-hot release until it dribbles down your thighs and he inevitably fucks it all back into you—
The stimulation of Minghao’s dexterous digits coupled with the thrill of being caught are the main players for today’s debauchery, but it’s that particular fantasy that pushes you over the edge. 
One moment, you feel like you’re on top of the world again, and the next you can taste blood in your mouth with how hard you bite against your lip to muffle your moans. A gush of slick coats Minghao’s fingers as he helps you ride out of your orgasm, peppering the side of your face with butterfly kisses.
“Pretty little whore, coming in record time,” he chuckles.
You can barely just start taming your breathing when Minghao takes his fingers out of your panties—tugging your skirt down back to semi-decency before prodding those same fingers against your lips. Still dazed from the high he just let you experience, you open your mouth, lathering your tongue against each digit as the tangy taste of you fills your tastebuds. 
“Good fucking girl.”
The train eases into the next station, and just as Minghao predicted, the car frees up just enough for you to get comfortably seated by the windows again. He sits right next to you the whole time—hand never straying from yours as he holds it firmly in his. For some reason, that gesture of his flusters you more than the stunt he just pulled five minutes ago.
When you both get off the vehicle, the awkwardness begins to settle in your system. You don’t know what you’re supposed to say to him after all of...that. Is there even a protocol to follow after getting finger-fucked on public transportation?
“Hey.”
You startle when Minghao breathes out while the two of you make your way out of the station. It’s the first time he’s broken the silence since arriving, and your heart pounds in anticipation of what he’s about to say next.
“I really am sorry for all the shit I said to you these past few months,” he sighs, rubbing the back of his head like he’s just as clueless about what to do as you are.
You blink up at him. “Um, yeah. You already told me, Hao.”
“I just figured it was worth repeating.”
“Giving me a mindblowing orgasm is a good enough apology on its own, you know.”
He stops walking for a moment, and you look back at him with brows raised.
“Really now?” he asks, and—there’s that smirk again. That no good smirk. “I don’t think I’ve received a ‘good enough apology’ from you yet, sweetheart.”
One glance at his sweats, and sure enough, the evidence of his own raging arousal is still up for grabs. You feel your pussy tingle at the mere thought of what’s to come once you voice out your agreement, even if your overworked muscles are begging for a break.
Oh, well. Might as well stock up on more painkillers on the way.
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⟢ end notes: i really really REALLY went overboard on this one and there isn't even any piv sex in action holy fucking shit LMFAO TT to lovely user yourfavoritefreakyhan, i hope i didn't scare you off with the word count JSHFD I REALLY JUST GOT CARRIED AWAY AHAHS hao has been testing me for DAYS and it manifested in this . anyway, pls don't expect every request from my ask game to turn out this fucking long bc this rly was just a heat of the moment creation AJSDHSJHF
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