#but hell life had to happen this way
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Burning Rotten Bridges
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#poorly drawn mdzs#mdzs#mianmian#nie mingjue#jin guangyao#JGY is nothing but outwardly calm and carrying on his duties as the chair for the meeting#but in that small pause after Nie Mingjue commemorates Mianmian for leaving...you can feel the tension.#Because Nie Mingjue comes from a place of privilege. He's always been in a position where his legitimacy and political standing-#-were never challenged. He didn't have to fight for respect. He was born into this world respected.#For people like Mianmian and JGY who clawed their way up from the bottom...this is a huge deal.#Truth be told I have a lot of things to say about what it means and feels to be in a position where leaving is messy.#There are times where the situation is bad but to leave means that those years of your life will have been for nothing.#That all the other suffering incurred will be fruitless. So you just *keep going*. Because it *has* to be worth it.#Because going back to what you were before is even more terrifying than the hell you are boiling in.#My concrete example for this is post-grad academia.#Because that cohort will have spent over a decade pursuing a goal and leaving means...well...it means throwing away those years.#It means losing (likely nearly all) your connections. It means going into debt you'll never pay off.#It means putting up with some pretty heinous abuse from your supervisor because what are you suppose to do? Leave?#Leaving is for those with the privilege to have options.#And even if you do have options...#Ultimately we would rather love the pain we know than risk the unknown. Hoping it's worth it one day.#With that mindset established; never say JGY should have just left like Mianmian. He couldn't. This was what he dedicated his life to.#He never had the option. Even if it seemed like he did - no he did not. He never conceived this ending ever happening for himself.
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"I can't ignore what's under dancefloor boards, The rhythm of my heart a dead-as-disco beat, But I still move my feet, to slip out of this groove, I'm free" ~ 2econd 2ight 2eer, Will Wood, The Normal Album
I have been plagued with visions of LDR Sun every time I listen to this song and I NEEDED to get this out of my system @spadillelicious when do we get to smooch the boy pLEASE
v textless version and close ups under cut!! v
#fnaf#fnaf security breach#fnaf dca#dca au#dca fanart#dca fandom#Love Death and Rollerskates#LDR sun#will wood#2econd 2ight 2eer#the normal album#tw eyestrain#cw guns#if you see any mistakes in the text no you didn't#took me way too long to get everything lined up and readable PLEASE--#just bear with me on this one i am going FERAL#story of my life but this was going to be a simple sketch to reward myself between deadlines and then it became a WHOLE thing /pos#(i still don't understand how to draw rollerskates!!!! or guns!!!)#but my LDR brainworms were soooo happy to get spotlight on this one akjshdsg#i am screaming endlessly about this fic I had been wanting to draw sun and his funky windbreaker for MONTHS!!#and every time you mention crescent eyes my little brain is like “DRAW THAT” kasjfhdf#but so many other things kept coming up and i kept having to put it off#and then this song came along and i was like. ENOUGH. IT IS TIME!!!!!#An allusion to The Tell-Tale Heart AND disco dancing?! HELL FREAKING YEAH!!!!!#and then several reference image hunts and a LOT of colour happened and here we are :3#okay okay tag rambling is being cut off now but i just akjhsdg am thrilled to finally share this--#Please go read Love Death and Rollerskates by spadillelicious it is FANTASTIC
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#dipplin#onto the DLC 'mons! i don't really like calling the hidden treasure of area zero a “dlc” just because of the negative connotation of#the word. “DLC” is always such a gross thing in modern games most of the time#whereas i'd consider sv's dlc to be more like an expansion. honestly‚ if i had to describe it‚ it's basically a fucking sequel#it's SO much content. and the story is SO damn good. way better than the base game#the characters are AMAZING kieran my belovèd. if you haven't played the sv dlc but you did play sv for some reason#and you've been avoiding it because it's a “DLC” and we don't like those#trust me. you'll love it#also‚ right after this is Not hydrapple‚ because that was added in the second half of the dlc so has a higher natdex number#actually that raises a good question for me. what the hell happens if you buy the dlc nowadays between the two halves??#like i remember there being a real life time gap in between the first half of the dlc and the second half#that was basically equivalent to the amount of time that passed in game. does it just timeskip to “a few months later”??#strange…
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i think a major thing that is overlooked in the x files is that when they do their little cutscene of them driving from washington dc to the bumfuck middle of nowhere at the start of each episode, their roadtrips must be SO long. so what are they doing in that time? are they fighting over which radio station to listen to? filling the silence with conversation? is that how they become inseparable, over mind-numbing hours on the road where stories slip off of the tongue with ease?
#i HATE road trips so this is baffling to me#like at first it HAD to be awkward. what the hell do you say at first. but then it happens again and again.#are they chatting? getting to know each other? debating cryptids? talking about life?#are they putting on music? taking turns flipping the stations between what they like and the other person likes? do they bring CDs?#there's no way they have a mutually compatible music taste i just know they drive each other up a wall with that#in all honesty i think they're probably listening to NPR because they seem like that type of nerdy intellectual. and talking about that.#but with THAT MANY HOURS in the car like. you have to come up with SOMETHING to do.#maybe they'll address that later on idk i'm only 10 episodes in but the thought is making me laugh#txf#the x files
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trouble in.. paradise?
you may not want to be here my friend.
#see i didn't think it would happen this way#hell i had dialogue written out for a story post#but?!#this was 100% autonomous i only made her buy drinks and watch NYE tv#just sitting at my pc at 4 in the morning cackling like a witch while watching the circus#simblr#starsignchallenge#in my mind she initiated the midnight kiss as revenge not thinking it'd ever go this far#bc river has already accepted that there's no room for him in her life or even their son's life; everything that happened was just#a mistake and a moment of weakness on both of their ends.#she was not expecting anything drastic to come out of it. especially not a whole child./!@#it happened Off ScreenTM bc i wasn't sure if i was even gonna follow that storyline but like. well. tbh why not#raf is a bit of a pushover and lived in conscious denial for years but suspected something was up when his son came out green eyed#LMAO#also she looks so pretty. sorry bisexual moment. im looking respectfully.
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sometimes I forget that my experience has been. um. not 'your experiences are not universal' vibes but more like 'your experiences are EXTREMELY atypical'
#red said#recent events have reminded me that my life has involved like. a LOT of other people's psychosis#like not in a way where i have been Beset By Terrifying Crazies bc that's not like. a thing.#but a lot of people in my life have had a lot of really severe psychotic episodes#and i FORGET sometimes. that actually that is an Unusual Amount Of Experience With Psychosis for someone who's not#for somebody who has not really personally ever had psychotic episodes (unless severe PTSD flashbacks count)#actually i tell a lie i have maybe had One psychotic episode but because it was very situational and i knew what was happening#i was able to ride it out. because i am literally only psychotic Inside Hospitals and so that's all fine#as long as i LITERALLY NEVER HAVE TO HAVE INPATIENT CARE. Very important to me to never ever ever require surgery i think.#i can handle the amount of psychosis i get from a 1-4 hour stopoff in hospital#as long as i know I'm leaving soon then i can just Cope with the fact that the walls are moving and reality is thin#ANYWAY that's not the point the point is i forget! that most ppl i know have experience of at most a handful of severe psychotic episodes#some people i know have experienced more for sure. especially if the episodes were mostly theirs.#but people really seem to expect me to be more freaked out by their symptoms of psychosis than i am#bc i don't think i really register it as frightening unless they're in actual danger or Currently Aggressing Actually At Me#like i WORRY about them bc it can super suck but it's not SHOCKING or WEIRD#there have definitely been times ive been frightened. one time i woke up in the night and my friend was standing over me with a knife#but also like he was still HIM he was just having a moment. and as soon as i got the knife off him he just came back and broke down.#and we were fine and he was safe and i learnt the valuable lesson that even when people seem like they wanna kill you they probably don't#tbf now I'm thinking about it it's honestly a tossup whether he was there to threaten or because he felt a need to guard us#like to be clear probably don't try and take a knife off someone having a psychotic break. i was 17 and it was 3am and i knew him very well#i probably did not make the smartest call but nobody got hurt is the point#anyway you know there's that kind of psychotic episode and my granny got very violently angry a few times. buuuut you know there's also#been plenty of other times I've been with somebody having an episode and it's been chill as hell.#my ex saw and heard monsters so much that eventually she just got sick of being scared. we used to watch TV with them#i would sometimes have to sit on a bit of sofa that wasn't haunted and we might not be able to watch certain things bc they didn't like it#most of the time she was hallucinating there was absolutely nothing to worry about we just had a few extra variables#honestly of everyone i know who's had psychotic episodes or schizophrenia the amount of times it's been a material risk#is like. low single figures? maybe low double if you include self harm but idk what the cause and effect is there.#idk why you would need to be frightened like 99.99% of the time it truly is usually just Oh No That Seems Distressing For You I'm Sorry
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"Do you know where we are going next?" I asked ART.
Y'know what, I think maybe I don't need any more Murderbot books. I think maybe ending things here is fucking perfect and as much as I love Wells's writing I'm genuinely not sure it can get better for me.
Like, so much of the books are about MB learning how to be a person, about becoming okay with being a complete individual with everything it entails. The first thing it does once it's actually allowed to decide on its own is it runs away from it all (admittedly to go on a mission to confirm some things about its past, because it genuinely just wants to be *good*). It shoves all its emotions away as much as it's able to. Then shit happens, and it makes its first friends, makes decisions based on these friendships, goes through a lot of emotionally intense situations...
And we get to this point here. MB having zero doubts about going with ART says a lot about its relationship with ART, but it also says a lot about its relationship with its humans - it knows that wherever it goes, when it comes back, the humans will still be there. Its humans actively acknowledge its struggles with being a now-free SecUnit and MB is willing to entertain the discussions to an extent and share information about its deeply personal experiences. Hell, System Collapse ends with MB admitting it might be somewhat broken, but that's okay as long as it can keep doing its job, and agreeing to basically do counselling - this is the guy what would rewatch its favourite TV show again and again in order to avoid acknowledging it even had Emotions a couple books back.
Reading this, I know that MB will be okay. It has hopes and goals and genuinely believes in itself and it has an amazing support system that its willing to lean on for the first time in its life. I'm convinced it'll go on to do great things with ART. And that's really the only thing I need to know.
#Murderbot#murderbot diaries#system collapse#Herr's personal tag#Also like. System collapse dives deep into MB's feelings about its life as secunit prior to the events of all systems red#I find this conversation from when they were discussing what would happen if the BE folks got to the colonists first /very/ telling#MB going on about how life as a corporate slave is absolute fucking hell#ART drone saying that they can't just kill people because the alternative is worse than death#ART: would it have been kinder to kill you before you'd disabled your governor module?#MB with zero fucking hesitation: /yes/#(followed by my favourite ART line ever. “You know I am not kind.”)#Like. MB would not have always admitted that it had hated its life as a secunit this openly#Saying it was shit is one thing saying I would rather be dead than think of me or anyone else going through this again is a very different#And here it has zero issues stating that. At least when talking to ART#And then later on it goes on to offer its actual memories for a publicly screened documentary#Because it knows it's the only way to make people see. The only way to save then from the same (ish) fate#And it's willing to do whatever it takes to save these people it's never even met before from what it views as fate worse than death#Including opening up and acknowledging its past experiences and past/current feelings#And I'm just like. Man I couldn't be more proud of you if I tried.#You go MB. Holy fuck I wish I could do what you've done. You might just be the person to defeat this evil capitalism my dude
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Help! I’ve fallen for a rarepair from a show that ended 6 years 1 month and 7 days ago!
And by rarepair I mean there is one singular fic about them where they’re not a side ship or in a collection of smut drabbles
#don’t worry Graham and Jefferson I saw the way you never interacted but were in such similar situations caused by the same woman#all it would have taken was for Graham to get some kind of hint that Jefferson knew and he could have gone to him :.(#gotten the help he needed from someone who actually knew what was going on#JEFFERSON WOULD HAVE FIGURED OUT THE VAULT#HE WOULD HAVE BEEN ABLE TO PUT GRAHAMS HEART BACK#THE COMFORT THEY WOULD GET FROM EACH OTHER#Jefferson having someone who remembers ;~;#Graham having someone who knows he’s not crazy#who could protect him from Regina ;~;#Graham could live with him in his mansion in the woods#with his wolf brother right there#and let’s be real Graham would not have been okay after getting his heart back#like he was literally emotionally numb and being abused for thirty years#everything that happened to him and what he was forced to do would have hit him like a truck the minute it was back in his chest#probably would have had a panic attack immediately#probably the only way he would feel safe is as far from Regina he could get (Jefferson’s mansion in the middle of the woods)#in a locked room and with his wolf brother right there#I just think they could be a really soft friends to lovers okay#ouat#jefferson ouat#graham humbert#huntsman ouat#once upon a time#also I’m not Regina bashing down here I just wish Grahams abuse and trauma was treated better#like there’s no way in hell he would ever forgive her or feel safe around her#he’d probably want her dead#another thing he and Jefferson have in common#but I can imagine him never acting on it and just completely removing himself from the show and living a safe and comfortable cottage-core#life with Jefferson and Grace#and his wolf brother
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life comes at you so fast
#tw personal#tw death#tw cancer#not my usual silly goofy post but it’s hard to remain that way when there’s a lot weighing on your mind#cancer sucks#and it’s unfair how quickly it can take people from us#one moment they seem fine and the next they’re in the icu with a week left to live#he passed two nights ago#i wasn’t planning to post about it but i have the tendency to disassociate from my grief#so here i am instead of wherever the hell!#it’s heartbreaking because he and his wife weren’t just my mum’s bosses - they were long-time friends#i have clear childhood memories of playing at their house with their son#his youngest child is only 3 years old#as soon as he found out he started giving his final messages to his staff#obviously nobody wants to die in that situation#but you could feel how much he *wanted to live*#when i was told about his death it was in the morning and it didn’t feel real#every time i had seen him in the last year he always had a smile on his face#it’s always been hard for me to deal with the prospect of death#and understand how fragile life is#how REAL mortality is#it hits even harder when it happens to someone who was so FULL of life#sighs#life comes at you fast#sometimes in all directions and in every possible and testing way imaginable#i’ve been trying to write and feel any sense of normalcy this evening but for a multitude of reasons i have a sinking feeling in my stomach#sometimes when i’m upset i try recycle the feeling into excitement or happiness over something else#yeah … i can’t really do that tonight#apologies if my energy is bleh. hold your loved ones close. now i return you to my regular scheduled programming
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I know how it sounds at first, but I really gotta feel bad for the boys that sacrificed edwin; I mean even the term “sacrificed edwin” paints them in a more sinister light than they really deserve– considering that wasn’t really, actually their intention.
they were bullies, they were homophobic (and/or were self loathing gay boys themselves taking it out on edwin, or were equally likely peer pressured into acting a certain way), they planned something stupid and mean to do to an innocent, anxious boy with the goal of scaring the shit out of him, all because he was effeminate and an easy target. but they didn’t know or expect any of the ritual stuff to be real. they were all laughing and joking during the ritual because it was just that to them– a joke. a cruel joke, but a joke.
teenagers can be mean and stupid and they usually regret it as adults and grow out of it / grow from it. they were stifled the chance to grow out of it, at least while alive. none of those boys deserved to be instakilled and sent to hell; they’re really not that much less deserving than edwin himself. they were all just kids, after all.
#random thought but. yeah……#I mean think about if crystal happened to be killed somehow pre-demonic intervention#she would’ve been deemed deserving of hell by the standards we’ve seen. no doubt about it. if the dragon guys were pulled to hell then yeah.#she would be as well. simply put- she was a bully#she was also a teenager. not a fully developed person. a very damaged and neglected teenager at that#it’s kinda like the criminal justice system right. it’s like. hey you really think sending them to be tormented is the most humane and#efficient way to heal these kids of what makes them act out and allow them to grow and improve?#Crystal’s such a good case to look at because she’s. well. to compare to The Good Place which you can probably already tell I’ve watched 800#times and adore with all my heart. she’s kinda the michael of the group#no one knows it at first but she’s actually kind of a terror to people most of the time. but she’s put in a situation where she#suddenly has a support system- people who care about her and want the best for her- she’s given a purpose and realizes how much better it is#to use her powers to help rather than hurt (well. sometimes helping can involve hurting but you get it)#and by the time she’s regained her memories and has a place in the agency it’s much easier to reflect on her life and be like huh!#this system kinda fucking sucks!#not that edwin wasn’t an example unto himself but he was a ‘clerical error’ not a ‘rightfully’ condemned person#with his situation someone could argue that the problem isn’t with the system being wack as a whole- it should just be maintained better so#these ‘errors’ don’t happen and all the good kids go to their afterlives and the Bad Evil Kids go to hell.#yes yes I know they’re not in hell forever (hopefully) but uhh Simon was still there for over a century and for fucking What?#gay self-loathing and catholic guilt? his intentions were clearly not Truly Evil and more than anything he seems to have been punished using#how much he hated himself for being gay and how guilty he felt for it all. like shit aren’t those feelings enough of a punishment? if he had#lived through that ritual and edwin hadn’t– do you think he would’ve been Okay? I think it would’ve crushed him. chronically#man. anyway#this was an especially long ramble huh#rambling#edwin#edwin payne#dead boy detectives
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Been having a rough couple of days. Send me asks?
#Long story short: I’m quitting my job! Yippee!! 🎉#Don’t wanna get TOO into it but I’m so fucking tired of being treated like shit and getting blamed for things completely out of my control#I’m done. I’ve BEEN done for months at this point#And now it’s at the point where my boss doesn’t think I’m doing my job right bc she keeps finding issues that again. Aren’t my fault#I’m sorry I can’t control everything for you! I don’t have that kind of power! I can’t make things magically happen the way you want!!#My other coworkers have been undergoing the same bullshit treatment so I know I’m not alone#But yeah I’m getting the hell out of dodge. My mental health has been sooooooo bad lately#I cannae. I’m going to end up dead in a ditch at this rate#Had the WORST panic attack of my life yesterday and my mom and I were both like. Yeah. It’s time for you to leave#Have fun running the department without me! Bye!! :)))))#Shima speaks#Vent#Anyway I’m a goddamn mess. Sorry. Lol!#I’m dreading going back to work on Monday I would literally rather claw my own eyeballs out#It SUCKS bc I know none of this is my fault but I still feel like shit anyway.#And I WANT to draw bc it’s the one thing that makes me happy but I just#Can’t. Right now. I’m not in a good emotional state#It feels like physical torture to sit down at my desk and put my pen to my tablet#Slams my head into the wall#I’m soooo tired girlies. I’m so over it#Anyway. Send me asks. Keep me company while I try not to have another breakdown. Tee hee <3
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Graduation photos, episodes 161 and 167
#yugioh series#yugioh gx#pics#screencaps#judai yuki#part 6 of reposting things that never made it to tags because tumblr#161-167 might just be my favorite stretch of episodes in the entire series#now that i'm experiencing gx properly subbed and with more life experience than i had in 2008#my rediscovery of gx happened during one of the worst periods of my life#and seeing judai start to heal over those seven episodes meant something to me#hell it means something to me now#a reminder that things can get better#it's probably projecting but his pose in 167 says to me that he isn't totally okay yet#but he's still willing to come out and participate#where he had to be dragged out before#he's not all the way there yet but someday he might be#and in the meantime he's got it in him to wink and throw a thumbs up for the album#take a moment to engage with his friend behind the camera#instead of pulling away#as someone dealing with The Brainworms that can be a big difference#and i'm actively trying to get back to that stage#whoops tag essay
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can russia and north korea just nuke us already this is hopeless
#sorry to be so fatalistic on main i just have zero faith in the american public atp#i just rly wanted to believe that more americans couldve used this opportunity to prove to the rest of the world that we arent all a bunch#of sensationalist/conspiracy-driven/aggressively braindead/violent/bigoted alt-right lunatics#& i never had much faith in kamala & walz to begin with obviously im incredibly cynical towards these status quo gatekeepers and the#downright impotence of the neoliberal democratic party#but this wouldve been an easy swerve away from dozens MORE of horrible awful inhumane policies that will ultimately vanquish#the quality of life for the entire american working class like myself and our already pisspoor education system and our lousy#climate change policies and impossible living standards#but no unfortunately there is no way in hell for americans to prove even a modicum of intelligence or worth we're all basically suicidal#and despite my own immense yank bashing tendencies and complete disdain for our government i really wanted this country & my ppl to defy#our own reputation of being so fucking stupid and backwards i really did. in the tiniest little place of my heart was legitimate hope#& a tiny bit of patriotism thats now been squashed completely & this was just another large-scale international humiliation that we legit#voted that guy BACK IN after everything that has happened the last four even eight years. its unbelievable.#again obviously i dont like kamala but it still wouldve been a grand opportunity to stall against what the gop is already destroying#and with push and shove we could have made slight progress forward as a country and try to protect our social programs#be it as flawed as they are and with enough support we could have strengthened them a little. make drugs less expensive. continue forward#with clean energy decreasing our use of fossil fuels even more.#protect our education system so the up and coming generations could receive higher standards of learning than what the rest of us had#NO ABSOLUTELY NOT. im too poor to continue living here and im too poor to fucking leave !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#SORRY THIS WAS EXTREMELY EXTREMELY EXTREMELY LONG THANK U FOR READING IF U DID MY BRAIN FEELS LIKE MUSH RIGHT NOW SO I DONT KNOW HOW#INTELLIGIBLE THIS MAY OR MAY NOT BE#and if this makes anyone mad @ all then ill just delete it cuz by god i dont need more grief and self hatred !#txt
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i think human nature/family of blood is a really good two parter in how it manages to show how full of shit ten is 🫶
#look . i LOVE ten . esp whatevers going on w him in s3 he's horrible and i like that#but just !! martha :(#its so incredibly unfair to martha he doesnt unleash his wrath on the Family he chooses to hide instead and okay yeah fair#and sure u can say the tardis chose the setting and time period for them to hide in but like#did that not filter in to his calculations he went through all that turned himself human put his friendship with martha to the test in#the worst way possible. knowing she wouldn't let herself leave him even if he was Abhorrent towards her (and he was) because#of her duty to the universe and beyond and whatever . to blend in and keep the Family off their tails#and she's put in a demeaning position and degraded and even he doesn't seem to care much for her but she still hangs on#and then in the end its like its all for naught. all that pain and suffering martha went through being the only one w her wits about her#he had the capacity to deal w the threat the whole time he had the ability to dole out a horrible punishment he could definitely#have dealt with them a different way than that too .#and instead in his quest to be the bigger person he ends up putting martha through the horrors and then#does the same with the Family anyway ! i dont think he can ever tell her how harshly he dealt with them#surely this isnt an original thought im just thinking Way too much about blue moon by niki#he Does care more about being good than being good to her specifically !! and its so upsetting theyre so volatile i miss them#its more complicated than that sure but at the same time. it sort of isnt .#anyway martha jones my love my life u deserved at least a billion apologies alongside the thanks like god . whats wrong w him#oh and also he wants to move on without properly talking about it . act as if it never happened#like girl be fucking considerate for ONCE she just went through a personal hell for you !!! how insanely lonely she must of been#i dont believe martha ever let him just brush past it w no acknowledgement like yes i think she definitely didnt want to discuss the#accidental confession but i Do think she would sit him down to finally get him to Accept he cant just take her wherever in the past#if he's not ready to look out for her . its a vital conversation i think they need to have otherwise martha would just walk out there#not even love could make her stay through that its been established already she has the strength to try walk away#and also to try and but through his bullshit and demand answers . and here more than ever she deserves his acknowledgement and he Knows it
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also insane to me that some people out there genuinely think y0 shouldve ended w makoto and majima getting together at the end Like did u play this game with ur eyes open........................ ?
#LIKE GIRLLLLLLLLLLLLL LETS THINKKKKKKKKKK.#like we literally spent soooooooooooo so long in this game establishing that majima would never ever be happy living a normal civilian life#probably because hes kind of insane and sick in the head#and the underworld objectively and truly and unquestionable completely ruined makotos life in just about every way possible#and not in a million trillion years would majima ever put her in a position where this would continue to happen#namely by continuing to associate with her in any capacity while continuing to be in the yakuza#and again given how organized crime put her through literal hell and back through absolutely no fault of her own#she certainly wouldnt want that for herself either. Like the entire appeal of this relationship#is the fact that what brought them together and gave them the connection that they had#also fundamentally opposes this relationship continuing in any capacity whatsoever#like thats literally what makes it fun and interesting. You people are just boring as hell. GO READ A ROMANCE NOVEL
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Okay so maybe the wrinkly split head devil isn't the Aging devil itself, since it being called aging definitelly feels like a mistranslation and and public safety wanting to erase old age by sacrificing the younger generation fits the point the chapter is trying to get across much nicer than if the devil was aging itself (+ if you think about it for 2 seconds erasing aging as a whole is a terrible fucking idea since no one will be able to grow anything anymore and people will be stuck as babies and kids forever whereas erasing old age should just make people not age past adulthood and probably cause people who are already elderly to just dissapear on the spot)
But that doesn't mean i'm keeping Cherryboy the exact same because if old age specifically is enough to achieve primal fear level then aging as a whole has gotta be one too. So hooray! someone's getting a slight revamp in the future :)
#i'm not changing his storyline in part one nor his design but his overall backstory will change slightly#but in his main design he is now the Aging fiend instead of straight up devil. i'll definitelly cook up a full devil design for him later#and you know him being a primal fear is fun because i had this idea that even after dying Cherry retains a sliver of his memories#from past iterations. if he is that strong of a devil then he can probably do that#and i can use this as an excuse to why i never made designs for him in hell :) i've got some fun ideas brewing#basic idea so far is that Cherry has a fascination with watching life (basically aging and its effects on living beings) even tho he has#hardly any attachment to life itself. dying is just a part of it same as growing old and such he doesn't feel anything when it happens#to other people and also himself#but being an enormously powerful devil in hell he can only watch this dance of life and death from afar as an outside observer#so after god knows how long he grows tired of sitting there in hell and kills himself to be reborn on earth#and immediatelly goes out of his way to become a fiend. severely weakening his strenght but bringing him closer to the lesser beings#by doing so. and now he can observe life from upclose and interact with the other creatures roaming around. which is something he finds#immense enjoyment in#think like a god that roleplays as a human every once in a while just because they're bored. and when they die they go back to godhood#so thats why all of Cherry's versions on earth are these dudes w animal skulls. little fiends#he can be strong and all-powerful when this life is over. and in hell he will look back at it quite fondly#csm#csm oc#chainsaw man#csm spoilers#csm part 2#Cherry#hyena ramblings
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