#but heavens this ship is more lit than my entire life

[atinytokki]

My Way

viii. The Voyage

The first night in his new bunk was everything Hongjoong imagined it would be.

It could’ve been dirty, crowded, and doused in pungent scent and he wouldn’t have minded. Despite bustling crewmen and the pitch of the Stardust, he was consumed by an overwhelming sense of peace in the chaos. It was his own little corner of heaven.

He’d been hard at work helping the other crewmen to raise anchor and position the sails, and after a hearty supper full of introductions and recounted tales, he had found his way to the berth, guided by candlelight, and climbed into his hammock.

It was his hammock in a way that his four poster bed back in Jangwon Hall wasn’t his. He didn’t just exist in it, it meant something to him. Whether a different sailor took up that hammock a few months hence didn’t matter in the slightest, it was his for the moment and he was going to enjoy it.

For now that simply meant laying back and tracing the ceiling boards with his gaze, listening to the faint echo of the ship’s groaning as it cut through water, and resisting the pull of sleep that threatened to drag him away.

Hongjoong watched the men around him prepare for the night, some reading, some smoking, a couple conversing quietly, and still more shedding their boots and climbing into bed. The deckhand in the hammock closest rolled onto his side and motioned towards the candlestick.

“Best put that light out now, lad,” he instructed, no-nonsense but not unkind. “Or else pass it off to the night shift.”

Satisfied that he wouldn’t miss anything important in the darkness, Hongjoong leaned forward and blew it out, settling in with a blanket. Somewhere, a deckhand was already snoring.

“Goodnight,” Hongjoong whispered, imagining it to be Mingi.

He rolled over and closed his eyes.

The shrill blast of the boatswain’s whistle at the forenoon watch came as quite a shock after such a pleasant night.

Rushing out of bed and into his clothes, Hongjoong joined the others in his shift under the supervision of the Stardust’s boatswain, Minseob.

Commands and manual labour were no stranger to the boy from Jangwon Hall, but he didn’t mind being ordered around here, a place of freedom where he was more than a cog in the machine, where the riches flowed as soon as they were plundered. This was what he had been preparing for.

It was one thing to learn the ropes, it was another entirely to do the work— training the body in life at sea.

Working alongside him were a variety of older men. Some looked the part of a pirate; burly, tattooed and reeking of liquor, but most appeared to be regular sailors.

Even Minseob retained the bearings of a naval officer and, aside from his eclectic accessorising, stuck to his ways where order was concerned.

The break for lunch was sufficient to rest Hongjoong well enough for another shift if he was needed but Maddox found him belowdecks and informed him he had been summoned.

“To the wardroom. Come on now,” he chuckled when Hongjoong hesitated in surprise. “You’re meant to be cabin boy after all.”

The officers were eating together, though some had already finished and were playing a board game of some type with the extra time.

Sailing Master Jihan had spread out some charts on his corner of the table and was engaged in a conversation with Eden that paused upon Hongjoong’s entrance.

The captain looked up from his work at his protégé and pulled out a chair next to him, welcoming the boy to sit.

Obliging, Hongjoong was soon lit up with excitement as a variety of firearms were placed in front of him to chose from by Jonghoon, Master-At-Arms.

“But I’ve already got mine— well, your old one,” Hongjoong reminded Eden shyly.

“A pirate should have a minimum of two loaded pistols on or within reach of his person at all times,” the pirate responded vehemently. “You don’t want to be caught reloading in a close quarters fight.”

It made sense considering how long it could take to reload a gun in his experience.

“Do you think there will be a fight on this journey?” Hongjoong asked, careful not to sound too worried if it was the case. He could handle it, he was sure.

Eden glanced at Jihan again, who spread his hands, admitting uncertainty. “Perhaps,” the captain settled on. “Navy presence near the archipelago has increased lately, and we are headed south first after all.”

Hongjoong nodded and turned back to the selection in front of him. A shiny pistol was calling his name, so he picked it up and inspected it as he had been taught, ensuring all the parts were clean and well functioning. If the other officers had qualms about this strange boy handling their spare weapons so casually, they did not raise them. It seemed the men trusted their captain.

“Combat training isn’t over, though I’ll be busy day in and day out,” Eden went on, after approving Hongjoong’s choice of weapon. “Go with Babylon to help in the galley for now, and I’ll meet you tonight on the quarterdeck to practice.”

Hongjoong followed orders promptly, stowing the gun before collecting any remaining dishes from the crew and bringing them to the galley to wash.

The action was familiar to him, as he’d laboured in the kitchens of Jangwon more than a few times, but the galley window swung open and let in a sea air that made the entire experience a good deal more pleasant than being in that stuffy hall.

The cook himself sidled up to help dry the cleaned bowls and cutlery, looming with his tall stature and keeping a curious eye on their newest recruit.

“I understand you begged to come aboard with us,” Babylon reported. “Did you realise you asked for the worst job on the ship?”

Hongjoong snorted and passed the man a plate. That wasn’t a problem. “I’ll climb the ranks.”

“Oh, are you quite sure?” Babylon let out a chuckle. “You’ll need a ship of your own to go from cabin boy to captain.”

“Then I can build one,” Hongjoong answered, just as sure. He flicked some soap bubbles into the air mindlessly.

“Does Eden teach you that sort of thing?” The surgeon questioned him, watching the bubbles float away. Two of them popped against the wall but one made it out the window.

“Ship anatomy, cartography, astronomy, strategy, knot-tying, self-defense— all kinds of things,” Hongjoong listed, barely brushing the surface.

“Then I do believe you have the makings of a well-rounded pirate,” Babylon complimented indulgently, offering the boy a towel to wipe his hands when the washing was done. “Although you are missing a few things.”

“Like what?” Hongjoong crossed his arms and gave the man a challenging glare.

A twinkle grew in Babylon’s eye. “Have you ever shot a cannon?”

That was how Hongjoong found himself under the tutelage of Master Gunner Soomin for the rest of the day, bearing witness to a demonstration in the power of the Stardust’s cannons.

It was exhilarating and made for his most exciting lesson by far, but his ears were ringing through supper and when he arrived on the quarterdeck for scheduled practice with Eden, he was still fairly disoriented.

Thanks as well to the darkness of the moonless night and the chill wind that was blowing from the north, Hongjoong took more beatings than he handed out during their sparring session, frustrating himself immensely.

“You must become impervious to your environment, Hongjoong,” Eden scolded lightly, scraping him with the sword when he failed to dodge yet again and widening the hole in his blouse. “There are no city lights to help you here at sea. If your night vision is truly this abysmal, you’ll struggle to see an enemy sneak up on you.”

Gritting his teeth, Hongjoong parried the next blow and returned with one of his own, overreaching and struggling to maintain his balance. With a sigh, Eden merely nudged him with his sword hilt and sent him tumbling back over the rail to hit the main deck hard on his tailbone.

Groaning, Hongjoong picked himself up gingerly, observing the way the sailor on watch duty snorted and shook his head in amusement.

“I’m just not at my best today,” he muttered by way of an excuse, holding his head in his hands. It must be the pressure of so many people to impress.

“Then you had better find your best and never lose it again,” Eden’s voice answered, and Hongjoong glanced up to see him descending from the quarterdeck, sword sheathed.

“It’s about consistency,” he went on. “You’ve beaten me before and if you give your all, you can do so again. But the day your form isn’t at its best could be the day the Navy knocks on your door. And then you’d better hope they give you a chance.”

Hongjoong pursed his lips, riled up. “Give me his watch,” he demanded, pointing towards the clueless sailor on duty without a glance in his direction.

For his part, Eden looked pleasantly surprised. “What for?”

“I’ll show you I can handle it. Let me take the night shift.”

The pirate tilted his head in thought for a moment before agreeing and dismissing the now gleeful sailor to his berth.

“It’s four hours,” he reminded his apprentice, careful not to let his concern show but giving himself away with his hesitation.

“I know,” Hongjoong countered confidently. “I learned all the protocol. I can even take the wheel so we don’t spend the night anchored.”

“Very well,” Eden turned to head back to his cabin. “I’ll check on you halfway through.”

Hongjoong cracked a knowing smile. If the objective was weathering the elements, that was just what he would do. It was all a mental game anyway, he reasoned, he could stand the discomfort to prove a point.

He deserved to be here and he would earn his place every day if he had to.

The air was clear and the waves quiet in their lapping at the hull, reminding him very much of his family fishing days what felt like long ago now, back when he had been naïve to the dangers of the sea.

He watched the distant cliffs pass by and calculated in his head how far from Panhang they must have sailed by now. Surely his plan to navigate overnight would save them a great deal of time.

Every once in awhile the wind increased from behind, filling the sails until they became taut against their ropes and ruffling Hongjoong’s clothes. He felt the holes poked in his shirt more and more as the temperature dropped.

It was still winter on the northern coast after all, and that ushering wind was likely an arctic one.

Shivering and growing numb but determined not to give in, Hongjoong flexed his hands where they gripped the wheel and forced himself to focus. All he had to do was maintain their course, and if his legs gave out, so be it.

The sound of the door to the captain’s cabin creaking open distracted him for a moment, and the protégé turned to see his master approaching from inside with a blanket, slinging it wordlessly over his shoulders.

Hongjoong gladly accepted it but flashed the pirate a suspicious glance at his timing.

“Hyung, were you watching from inside this whole time?”

“W-What?” Eden coughed out, truly at a loss for words yet again due to this boy and his dropping of formalities. “Of course not, I merely noticed the chill. It looks as if it may snow.”

Hongjoong lifted his gaze to the cloudy sky and hummed in agreement, turning again to the starboard side for his last view of the cliffs. The last view of his old fishing grounds. He wondered what his parents would think if they saw him now. Maybe they were watching from somewhere unreachable.

After a moment of silence, Eden took note of the way he craned his neck for a final glimpse and asked him about it.

“What are you searching for out there?”

Hongjoong bit his lip and lowered his head. It felt stupid to try to explain the feelings of nostalgia bubbling inside but he could only picture his parents with this view, a view he’d had every day for most of his childhood.

“I know they’re gone, I saw their bodies. But part of me held on to the hope that they were still out there somewhere, somehow. That I just hadn’t looked hard enough.” He sighed and faced Eden again, continuing, “I know I won’t find them, but I’m looking for them anyway in a manner of speaking.”

The captain forced down a swallow and trained his eyes ahead on nothing in particular, as if afraid even a flinch would shatter his young apprentice.

“It can be dangerous to imagine ghosts in the places you wish to see them,” he whispered solemnly.

Hongjoong frowned. The pirate seemed as if he spoke from experience, seeing the ghosts he spoke of in a scene unfolding before his eyes.

“But…” Eden cleared his throat and shook himself out of his reverie. “Perhaps they are guiding your travels. Just out of view.”

With a nod Hongjoong told him that was how he pictured them now, leading him on his way from the sky.

“I thought the day they died, I died,” he admitted. “I never would’ve guessed I could come back out here one day. Certainly not like this.”

He smiled in appreciation for the trustworthy Stardust that carried him hence and Eden mirrored it, unable to resist.

“Steady on, Hongjoong,” he encouraged, heading back towards the cabin for bed. “Maddox will take the watch after yours.”

“Yessir,” Hongjoong called back, suppressing a giggle. Captain or no, if he could get away with teasing the Dread Pirate, he’d gladly do so.

As usual, Eden had been right and as the night wore on, Hongjoong’s vision did indeed adjust to the darkness. He wrapped the blanket around him to preserve body heat and stave off the cold, so the next problem was the matter of keeping awake.

He entertained himself with quiet singing and reciting random lines and poems he remembered, passing the time as best he could while confined to the quarterdeck.

Just as his four hours came to an end, the clouds dispersed to share the light of the stars.

They were brilliant already, having adjusted his sight, and Hongjoong could only imagine how much brighter they looked to the east with no light of civilisation to hide them.

Maddox’s teasing voice interrupted his thoughts as he joined him on the quarterdeck. “Look at you, standing at the wheel. It’s almost as big as you are.”

“And yet I did not waver!” Hongjoong shot back, insistent. Still, he couldn’t help but show his relief on letting go of the wheel that he was finally able to stretch away the soreness of standing in one place for so long. “Check the charts, we’re still on course.”

Maddox obliged and kept up idle conversation while he checked. “Not biting off more than we can chew, are we?”

“No, just taking on what I know I’m ready for,” Hongjoong replied with a grin. He was nothing if not ambitious for a first time voyager.

The quartermaster was quiet for a moment more before rolling up his chart again and returning a smile to the young pirate. “Fortunately for you, you’re correct,” he affirmed. “We are very much on track. Should I continue on or drop anchor as usual?”

Hongjoong gave the question a bit of thought. “Well, hyung— I mean Captain— didn’t say. But seeing as I don’t want to be finished with my first voyage too soon, I wouldn’t object to dropping anchor. It would give me a chance to capture these stars.”

“Capture them?” Maddox asked, confused.

In lieu of a proper answer, Hongjoong instructed him to wait while he fetched a plain canvas bag from below to demonstrate with.

Thanks to some helpful timing he also took advantage of Minseob’s presence on deck rousing the men to drop anchor to sneak into the boatswain’s lodgings and swipe his paint pots.

“Whose paints are those?” Maddox snorted, skeptical, when Hongjoong returned with his supplies. “Did you steal them just now?”

Hongjoong pulled up a seat and settled in, pretending to be affronted at the accusation. “Well we’re pirates, aren’t we? I thought stealing was part of the job. And it’s not stealing, it’s borrowing. I’ll give them back when I’m done.”

The quartermaster rolled his eyes fondly at the teen and refocused on the task at hand, still curious what the young apprentice was planning.

It was a bit difficult to distinguish from among similar shades of blue and violet, so Hongjoong opened his mouth to ask for a lantern to be brought only to find Maddox already approaching him with one.

“Thanks,” he chirped, positioning the bag on his lap and beginning to slather it in paint to make the background. “It’ll be just as good as carrying charts when I’m finished.”

“The stars?” Maddox asked for confirmation, realising what the aim of this spontaneous art project was. “You’re painting the stars over Panhang.”

Hongjoong hummed an affirmation, deeply concentrated on the act of placing each individual white dot in the correct location.

It took him a great deal of time to ensure his work was correct and precise and yet more time to bring it up to a visual standard with nicely blended colours to represent the sky.

Satisfied at last, two hours later, he drew his final stroke and hung the canvas bag to dry.

“There,” he said in satisfaction, mostly to himself. “Now they’ll always be with me.”

Overhearing this but unwilling to question him about it, Maddox remained at his post for the watch, waiting for Hongjoong to pack up his supplies before reminding him of the hour and nudging him along to bed.

Hongjoong stuck out his tongue in defiance but obeyed gladly, energy finally spent.

He was a pirate in training now, bedtimes were of no consequence.

He’d regret it in the morning, but his temporary guardian Babylon would have mercy and let him sleep in until noon when dishes needed to be washed again.

It was around lunchtime that Hongjoong emerged from the hold, reporting for duty in the galley and catching up on the washing after a quick meal of his own.

Yesterday had given him the chance to quickly get the hang of where things were located, and some of his free time in the afternoon when Babylon was busy with surgeon duties was spent in the food pantry and storage areas taking stock of what ingredients had been brought along on a trip such as this.

When it was time to get back to work, Hongjoong was deemed a cooking hazard after Babylon witnessed his method of frying eggs and relegated to lesser tasks around the galley.

So he sat atop a barrel shucking oysters instead, listening to the man go on about the delicate art of cooking until he grew bored enough to get lost in his own daydreams.

“And you had better stitch up the holes in that shirt, you know,” Babylon was saying when Hongjoong finally tuned back in. “I’m not sure if Eden will allow you ashore with us when we reach Keunhae to buy another.”

“Oh...” Hongjoong sighed, glancing down at the fabric, peppered with small tears that grew bigger the more he moved. It was nice and warm in the galley thanks to the fireplace, but on deck it would only take a slight breeze to send him shivering. “I would if I knew how.”

“You haven’t tried sewing yet?” The cook tutted disapprovingly. “It’s an under-appreciated but very useful pirate skill. There’s always mending to be done, especially on the sails.”

Hongjoong smiled in embarrassment. “I’ve watched my aunts and cousins embroider cushions before. I take it this is not the same thing.”

“Not exactly, but I’m sure they use a variety of stitches that may be useful to you,” Babylon explained, taking the nearest basket of oysters to add to the stew. “Finish that last batch there and find me in the infirmary after supper. It’s as good a time as any to learn.”

As the sun began to set in a spectacular display of colours and the archipelago appeared on the horizon, Hongjoong watched carefully while the pirate mended his shirt and then practiced stitching some scrap by himself late into the night.

Just as Babylon predicted, Maddox dropped in before bed to inform Hongjoong he was to stay with the ship when they anchored, disguised as a generic merchant ship.

The quartermaster then hurried off to see to the docking process, muttering about having to pay the wharfing fee.

Hongjoong didn’t become jealous until the morning when there was much more to see through the little porthole window by his bunk; activity on the docks and a village market just beyond. A flock of geese flew south in formation.

With Eden and the rest of the officers gone, there was only Minseob left to bother from among his friends, so Hongjoong spent the day playing cards with him.

Babylon returned distracted, toting a new purchase with him to his office; a spellbook of the mystic arts.

Hongjoong could manage chores in the galley just fine without him, but when suppertime rolled around he poked his head in the infirmary to ask what he should do.

“Nothing for now, boy,” Babylon shot over his shoulder, still elbow deep in his new book but pushing it to the side and getting to his feet. “I’ll see to the meal, you can go up on deck until the bell.”

The Stardust was leaving port and he was quickly needed to help weigh anchor.

Babylon’s new studying material took up all his free time in the following days, and Hongjoong only saw him at mealtimes for awhile, performing his duties regularly otherwise.

Running from place to place to bring food and drinks to the officers was the best part of being cabin boy for giving Hongjoong the chance to find out what everyone was up to throughout the day. Sometimes it was rigging the sails, sometimes cleaning the cannons, sometimes plotting their course.

Everything Hongjoong had left to learn, he took upon himself to try.

It was one of those afternoons where he sat reading in his hammock while the old pirate beside him napped away his pesky winter fever when the wind changed.

The Stardust had turned east, prowling the shipping lanes for easy prey, and hadn’t yet gotten a bite, and now it seemed something in the air had changed.

In the hammock next to him, the deckhand sat up with a groan and a hacking cough and peered out the window before shaking his head. “A storm’s coming.”

Hongjoong’s stomach dropped and his hands seemed to freeze on hearing his. “Is it?” His voice was little more than a whisper, and the book in his grip became a lifeline. “Are you sure it’s not the aches and pains of your illness?”

“They don’t call me the Weathervane for nothing,” the old pirate muttered gruffly, leaving the room and going up on deck to ensure the captain knew what was headed for them.

At this time of year, surely it was just a bit of rain. Not a typhoon like the kind that blasted through these waters in late summer. Not one like the storm that killed his parents.

For all his bravery in setting out for the sea once more, Hongjoong hadn’t pushed his luck in a storm since that day. Not since he felt the boat crack underneath him and the crash of the waves swallow him whole.

Distantly he could hear the cries of men readying to face down the tempest and retreated further into his bed. They wouldn’t need him on deck, what could he possibly do to help in this paralysed state?

True to the Weathervane’s word, clouds were gathering and speeding toward them at a rapid pace when Hongjoong finally worked up the nerve to go to the porthole window and look. Already the rocking of the ship was harsher than the rhythm he had become accustomed to.

It didn’t take much longer for the crack of thunder to grow louder as wind battered the Stardust and washed torrents of seawater over the sides and down into the hold.

A group of crewmen hurried down with buckets to bail the pooling water, and when it began to gather around his ankles, Hongjoong jumped in to join them.

It was backbreaking work and more than once Hongjoong found himself knocked backwards by the force of a sudden wave, soaked in the rising bilge water and shaking from the cold.

Minseob’s boatswain whistle sounded from above, the tune that summoned the officers and, wondering what their strategy was for safely exiting the storm, Hongjoong paused and considered going up to join them.

Handing his pail to another crewman and peering up through the grating, he watched the heavy rain, flying sideways through the air, and pushed back his fear.

He could do this.

History would not repeat itself.

Shakily, he climbed to the main deck, noticing the officers dispersing from their quick meeting to various stations around the ship. It appeared that some of them were assigned to oversee the working of the pumps, some to continue in the bailing efforts, and others to secure the rigging which was half done.

Eden himself was at the wheel, carefully navigating a veritable minefield of treacherous high waves. Hongjoong moved to the side and held fast to the bulwark, cowering from the storm but carefully watching the captain’s movements.

A scream from above suddenly captured his attention, the snapping of a rope and then the sickening crack of bones as a pirate in the rigging lost his hold, missed his footing, slipped in the rain, and tumbled down to the main deck.

Hongjoong’s heart jumped into his throat at the sight of the man, dead on impact with his limbs splayed in a most unusual way from the force of the fall.

Fearful eyes traced heavenward at the place where he had been securing the sail, the fore upper topsail yard.

He left behind a corner of the buntline which let the sail flap in the wind, needing to be hauled taut. None of the older riggers were able to do it, not with a broken lift rope and the tapering edge too small for them to perch on.

Babylon was rushing to inspect the body, but Hongjoong found himself walking to the shrouds.

He glanced back at Eden for a moment before ascending them. The captain met his eyes and nodded him on.

He had conquered his fear, now he must conquer the sea.

Scampering up the shrouds, Hongjoong met Youngsaeng in the topsails and followed him to the treacherous beam. He had quickly surmised the boy’s purpose there without any verbal indications.

“Are you sure about this?” The master rigger asked, grasping the boy by the shoulder and levelling him with his eyes, dead serious. He didn’t want yet another sailor’s blood on his hands.

Hongjoong nodded wordlessly and began to move on his own. He could do it.

The feeling of the mast shuddering under his hands was so familiar, but he pushed away the memories and willed his limbs to move.

“Help me now,” he whispered into the sky, hoping his parents could hear him from somewhere.

In the battering of the wind, the yard was very unstable, but Hongjoong clung to it with what strength he had and shimmied and reached forward, peering through sheets of rain to see the lines in front of him.

He knew his running rigging by heart, and it took only a few swift motions to fully lash the sail before he could scramble back to safety. A flash of lightning close to the ship made him startle in panic, but he tangled his arms in the shrouds and steadily made his way back down with Youngsaeng’s thanks.

Being the oldest officer aboard, it was probably not the easiest job for the man to distribute his weight properly on the precarious end of one of the smallest yardarms, rope or no rope.

Eden was busy angling the prow to avoid being beaten down by the waves, but signalled Hongjoong up to the quarterdeck when he noticed his reappearance.

“Well done,” he told him simply, as if he wasn’t also straining to maintain the Stardust’s heading. “You are much more powerful than you know.”

Relieved to hear such praise, Hongjoong’s heartbeat returned to a much closer pace to normal and he bowed in acknowledgement before rejoining the work belowdecks.

Though the next hour was not comfortable by any means, the worst had passed, and Hongjoong was satisfied when at last he could empty his bucket for good and curl up in bed with a warm blanket.

By night, the storm had abated to milder rainfall. The next morning, the Stardust entered a fog bank and continued east for the trade winds.

Hongjoong found himself feverish the next morning with a throat so sore he could barely speak and unable to rise to report for work. Embarrassed when Babylon himself came down to the berth to rouse him, he tried to climb up to the galley, but his head pounded and his vision spun.

Seeing the symptoms, Babylon brought the boy instead to the infirmary for a tonic to soothe the illness, one he’d been treating all week as it spread around the lower decks.

“Here’s an ointment for the cough, rub it on your back and chest and sleep here with your head propped up,” he instructed matter-of-factly, offering a blanket and a small bowl of the ointment.

“But hyung, what about the washing?” Hongjoong protested, not very strong of a protestation from him due to his present inability to stand from the bed Babylon was ushering him into.

“Don’t worry, it’ll be taken care of,” the surgeon reassured him, tucking in the blankets himself. “Your only orders for the rest of the week are to recover. I’ll inform the captain.”

Hongjoong meant to quip about what a great deal of power Babylon must have to be able to tell Eden what the orders would be, but began dozing off into a dreamless sleep before the thought fully formed.

He was awoken by the startling bang of a cannon and jumped into a sitting position, his headache hammering into his skull with every pulse beat. In order to find out what was going on, he crept to the main deck, blanket slung around his shoulders, and watched.

It was the man who had fallen from the mast during the storm, with his canvas hammock sewn into a shroud around him, the final stitch poking through his nose as was tradition, being sent to sea with a salute of the guns.

What possessions he must have brought aboard with him went also to the depths, aside from some valuables divided amongst his friends. Hongjoong hadn’t known the man— could only remember seeing him twice really—but it was a somber affair regardless and it spoke volumes to him that these pirates of all people had done what they could to give a stranger in their service the proper respect as he departed this world.

Silently returning to the infirmary, he took the tonic left there for him, struggled to keep it down, and settled in to sleep again when another patient shot him a dirty look. His thoughts kept him up for awhile, swirling around the fallen pirate’s sudden demise, Eden’s respect for the dead, Mingi fishing back in Panhang, and his parents as they’d gone to a watery grave in their final moments.

His dreams returned him to that fateful day, a little over four years ago now, when storm clouds had gathered and the fierce waves which rocked their boat had done so much more damage than they had to the Stardust.

It had stormed in his path yet again even after that night, as if the ocean kept coming back for him. And it kept failing.

In the days that followed, when Hongjoong was well enough to return to his own hammock, he sometimes wondered what was happening back at Jangwon. Was Yubin growing up well? What were his aunts up to today? Had anything interesting happened to his cousins?

They’d all collapse from the shock if they knew what he was doing now.

It was almost midwinter and the Stardust was presently bearing down upon a supply ship, overtaking it with ease and preparing to finally see some action.

Hongjoong geared up with his new weapons and stood by the rail, scaling a rope to see what was happening on the deck of the other ship over the heads of fellow crewmen in his way.

Again, Maddox was the bearer of bad news with orders from Eden that Hongjoong hang back and only cross to the ship when it was secure to help with loading.

But pirates were made for breaking rules, so he hung back until he saw fit to cross the boards to the supply ship, disarming three men himself (all of whom were immobilised by the shock of his apparent age more than anything) before it was officially taken, very proud despite Eden’s muted irritation.

The captain saved his apprentice the inevitable earful about how interacting with anyone outside the Stardust risked unmasking his identity and jeopardised his secrecy from Jangwon and instead fixed him with a warning glare before seeing to the transfer of pilfered goods.

Hongjoong didn’t really care if it meant he had his share of the fun.

The other officers didn’t quite understand the complicated dynamics of his life in the Hall or what being recognised by a civilian trade ship worker could do to him and so predictably were impressed and offered hearty congratulations on his first raid.

Well after the sun had gone down, Hongjoong was knocking on the door to the captain’s cabin and making his way inside with a request. As mere cabin boy, he shouldn't have such easy access to the area but the officers always let him in anyway.

He liked spending time in there, admiring the decor and the organisation and wondering how it might be improved or better suited to his own style.

Maybe some more colour in the windows or better ceiling storage.

Eden was hard at work apparently drawing on one of his maps, marked with his unmistakable bird symbol in the corner.

“What are you writing?” Hongjoong queried, peeking over his hyung’s shoulder.

Eden didn’t budge and didn’t offer any information.

“Nothing.”

And truly despite his pen strokes, the page appeared to be empty. Perhaps something was there in invisible ink. Hongjoong didn’t stop to dwell on it and shot back a quip, “Ah, I see. Very clever.”

He lingered until Eden sighed and looked up, indulging the boy who so clearly required his attention.

“What is it you want?”

“Join us!” Hongjoong proposed with a cheeky smile. “The officers are breaking out the rum in celebration.”

Scoffing, the captain raised an eyebrow at him, asking, “And when did you become an officer?”

“They invited me!” Hongjoong protested, pulling at his hand to get him up from the desk. “Take it up with them.”

Eden found himself dumbfounded again at the boy’s outstanding ability to charm his way into any relationship.

It seemed his men had gone just as soft as he.

“Very well,” he replied, pulling his hand back but giving in knowingly. If Hongjoong and the officers wished it, he had no choice but to make an appearance. "I'll come down when I've finished this."

Hongjoong was learning some of the more obscure sea shanties from Minseob when Eden finally showed his face in the wardroom.

They sang the raucous tunes together rowdily over the first few rounds of drinks and cards and soon Hongjoong had a plethora of melodies filed away in his memory.

He hadn’t sung like this in a long time, loud and carefree with a chorus of men around him. It was fascinating to hear the pirates’ voices, used in the daytime to keep the rhythm of their work alive but now lifting up in simple amusement.

Eden’s tone was softer than expected, and Maddox could reach the highest notes of anyone at the table, but not without prompting a match to see if anyone could beat him.

When the others piled on to tease Youngsaeng for announcing that he was heading out to read, Hongjoong took the opportunity to ask Eden a personal question.

“Hyung, I’ve been wondering about something.”

Eden blinked at him, curious and slightly wary, but said, “Go on.”

“When the Navy caught you and tortured you…” Hongjoong trailed off, biting his lip and wondering belatedly if it was too sensitive a topic before going on, “How could you stand it?”

The pirate downed another drink before answering the question.

“Torture is about control.”

He leaned forward and clasped his hands, explaining the situation as if giving a warning. “The enemy wants to take it from you, but if you refuse to allow them to break your will, you can emerge, scarred, but with the satisfaction that you’ve drowned their plans in silence.”

Hongjoong swallowed and traced the grain of the table with his eyes. He couldn’t easily imagine such a state.

“It must be difficult to endure,” he muttered.

“Until you learn how to distance yourself from your own pain…” Eden trailed off and then drew a long breath, as if giving bad news. “It is.”

Hongjoong tucked the information away for later, hoping he wouldn’t need it. It sounded like a technique best mastered through practice.

“It doesn’t always need to come to torture, though,” the pirate followed up quickly, an attempt at reassurance. “If you’re dealing with multiple officers, there may be another way out. Learn what you can about them, which you can piss off, which you can flatter, which you can bribe, and which you can threaten. In every situation, do what you can to know your enemy.”

Thinking it over for a moment, Hongjoong considered a different approach.

“What about those which you can recruit to your cause?”

Eden cracked a small smile and shook his head knowingly. It was a highly optimistic proposal from the young apprentice, but he couldn’t dismiss it entirely.

“If it is possible to infiltrate Navy power structures to that extent, I haven’t discovered how to do it,” the captain admitted. “Aside from Minseob I guess, which wasn’t entirely my doing.”

Hearing his name, the boatswain clinked glasses with his captain in salute and the rest of the officers ceased their side conversation to join in.

Sailing Master Jihan leaned over from next to Hongjoong and made a sarcastic aside in his direction. “Must be why he’s the only former naval officer aboard. Captain never makes the same mistake twice.”

Aside from Minseob who rolled his eyes in annoyance, the other officers broke out into a slightly drunken laughter.

Master Gunner Soomin piped up from his end with a remark, “I think our Dread Pirate Eden simply hasn’t been able to relax and relate to the more amenable lower ranked soldiers much yet.”

“One of his many regrets,” Babylon hummed in agreement.

“Forgive me if I only want the finest crewing the best pirate ship the world has ever seen!” Eden scoffed, punctuating his exclamation with a swig of rum.

“You and Admiral Kim, goodness,” Maddox tutted in fond amazement. “Two big egos, head to head.”

Head still pointed down in his drink, Eden balked at the mention of the Admiral, eager to draw a distinction between them. “He’s out for money and fame.”

Interested in the topic of the infamous enemy of pirates, Hongjoong caught his mentor’s attention and dug for more. “So, what, he’s jealous? Because you have both? Why doesn’t he just go dig for buried treasure instead?”

“Oh, maybe because he’s barking mad?” Jihan crowed with a jeering laugh that set off the whole table again.

Eden folded his arms and dignified his apprentice with a serious response. “Despite what you may have heard, we don’t typically bury our treasure. Not on purpose anyway.”

The smile fell from Hongjoong’s face. Where was the fun in that?

“Why save your gold for another day when your life could be over tomorrow?” Eden continued, a perfectly good explanation, before hesitating and downing another drink. “Typically.”

Stars lit up in Hongjoong’s eyes at the implication and he lowered his voice to a near whisper to ask, “Typically as in… you’re the exception?”

Eden sighed and rolled his head back to rest on the chair he sat in, eyes snapped shut in defeat. Hongjoong always managed to wrangle the truth out of him somehow.

“Well, it may yet prove to be lucrative in my case, given the Navy’s pursuit, to keep a hidden stash somewhere for myself and any successors,” he carefully divulged. “That’s all I’ll say on the matter.”

By now enough strong drink had been consumed to lower inhibitions and Jihan’s volume was a bit too loud for comfort when he butted in once more asking, “Yonghwan-hyung is it me? Am I the successor—?”

Minseob quickly shot him a glare and a brief scolding for addressing Eden too informally.

“That’s ‘Captain’ to you, Jihan.”

“You let Hongjoong say his name all the time!” The navigator complained just as loudly but sat back in his own chair, yielding.

And it was true, Minseob had been especially lenient on their newest recruit which was entirely out of character.

“Perhaps I trust him more not to go blabbing about it,” the boatswain said with a shrug. “At the very least a codename would be prudent.”

“Oh, please,” Jihan whined, dismissing the idea. “I’m not calling him the Dread Pirate Eden while drinking in the wardroom. You go too far, dear boatswain.”

Hongjoong frowned at this and turned to him in confusion.

“Is that the purpose of a codename?” He asked, slightly embarrassed that he hadn’t known. Like many things the pirates did, he assumed it was just for flair. “I had always thought I’d prefer using my own.”

“Oh, you don’t really have a choice in the matter,” Jihan chuckled. “Pirates attract nicknames. If any old salt has heard of you, you can be sure he’s already nicknamed you. Sailors love to tell stories.”

“Just hope you don’t get something stupid attached to your persona for the rest of your life,” Maddox advised from his side of the table. “Reputation is everything for a pirate.”

“I liked Captain Seongho’s,” Jonghoon interjected brightly, quickly defending his choice when mention of the old disgraced Seongho proved unpopular. “‘The Shark’ is very fitting, his ship was even called the Hammerhead.”

Maddox turned to their captain and sized him up, considering his nickname. “The Dread Pirate is… well, could be worse.”

“Could be better,” Eden mumbled. It was a typical night for him, beset by his joking officers.

The revelry continued until most of the officers had retired for bed and Babylon collected the dishes, leaving them in the galley for tomorrow’s washing.

Before the captain and quartermaster could turn in, however, Hongjoong approached them with a humble request.

“There’s something else I’ve been meaning to ask, a—” He interrupted himself with a dry cough, the last remnant of his earlier bout of sickness. “A favour.”

And that was how he ended up in the captain's cabin with his ears pierced several times over.

Maddox chuckled as he put away the needle he had used, impressed with Hongjoong’s insistence that it didn’t hurt.

“Now we’ve got to give it enough time to heal before we go to Panhang,” Eden pointed out from the seat at his desk. “Or else your guardians could notice it.”

“Unlikely,” Hongjoong responded, a bitter twinge to his voice even while he busied himself with inspecting his new jewellery in the handheld mirror Maddox had offered him. “I keep telling you, they don’t pay that much attention to me.”

“Regardless, it will be safest to lay low for a while after you get back,” the captain insisted with a tone of finality in his voice, barely glancing up from his maps.

Hongjoong’s mood darkened at the mention of the return journey. He didn’t want to think about that just yet.

“Let me live it up here first,” he argued, a tad petulant. It had always worked on the captain before. “That’s the point of my being here, isn’t it?”

Eden’s distracted grunt from the desk as he poured himself another drink from his private stores was answer enough, and Hongjoong grinned at Maddox in triumph.

It was his chance to experience pirate life, after all.

And as he looked at himself in the mirror, he realised he was beginning to look the part. Aside from the piercings, his hair was tousled and growing past his ears, a far cry from the polished appearance he was expected to have at Jangwon. Freckles sprinkled ruddy cheeks, a sign of all his time in the sun lately, and the mischievous smile he was sporting much better suited him than the bleak expression he was used to wearing at the Hall.

The colonies would be his new playground.

Hongjoong was sitting on the main deck with Minseob and Babylon, helping to repair some equipment, when Coral Harbour came into view. The Stardust had opted to bypass Kibo after receiving a tip that a number of navy ships were gathered there. It seemed they wouldn’t be the only pirates undercover for the midwinter festivities.

The lucky seamen without wanted posters of their faces plastered all over the island were permitted to go and celebrate for the night while they were anchored. It would take a bit more disguising for the officers, however, a fact which Babylon seemed to have forgotten as he got to his feet and turned to climb down to the docks.

“I’ll go and secure lodging,” he offered an explanation and climbed over the rail, stopped by Minseob’s panicked shout.

“They’ll recognise you instantly! Send one of the deckhands to do it instead.”

“No they won’t,” rebutted Babylon with a sly smile. Before their eyes, his form began to change into that of another man. His face was becoming warped and aged, and his height changed, shrinking down as if he had hunched his back. Even the clothing he wore was now grey in colour where it had been blue before.

Hongjoong’s jaw dropped and he and Minseob both went speechless.

This was magic of some kind happening right in front of him. Hongjoong had always presumed it to be possible but never so clear, happening plain as day and so fast you could blink and miss it.

If only Mingi could see this now, then all his superstitions would be confirmed.

“Very handy, isn’t it?” Babylon chuckled through this stranger’s face. Even his voice was different, much more than a mere added gruffness.

Hongjoong approached cautiously and reached out a hand to touch him. This was no illusion, it was like another man in the flesh. “Where did you learn it?”

“The spellbook from that village on Keunhae,” Babylon admitted, conjuring a hat for his head and adjusting it to fit properly. “There are a great deal many useful ideas in there. Not just on changing form but other kinds of magic. I’m working on making things disappear. Image how useful that could be! I mean, even the implications of this medically are astounding…”

“Well, carry on then,” Minseob laughed, amazed. “I didn’t know the gift of sorcery could be… developed… like this. We’ll have to consult the Mystic when we travel southwest from here.”

Hongjoong watched Babylon go with excitement, feeling as if an entirely new world was just unlocked for him.

“Did you know about this?” Minseob asked the cabin boy, a glint of delight in his own eye as well.

“No!” Hongjoong laughed, unable to wipe the smile from his face. “But I guess it makes sense now why he’s been so busy recently.”

And the new sorcerer’s work had paid off, for no one was the wiser when he purchased the officers a hallway full of rooms at the nearest inn to the docks and ushered them in under the innkeeper’s nose.

So dedicated was he that, when the others went out to see fireworks set off and dancers and acrobats in the square, Babylon stayed behind to study some more.

Hongjoong watched the festival show with a giddiness he hadn’t felt since he was a little boy. It felt like he was seeing the world for the first time in every new trick and trinket.

He spent a chunk of the money he’d saved up in the marketplace, trying a variety of street foods and buying some silver jewellery for his newly pierced ears. The atmosphere was a bit more chaotic than Panhang, but it had this vibrant quality to it that intrigued him. It was a colony of Jaecho, not at all autonomous but distant from mainland society and structure. Perhaps the further east you travelled, the more lawless and independent the islands became.

If they were all this colourful and animated, he’d gladly explore every one of them.

The festivities lasted late into the night, and by the time the men returned to their lodging, Hongjoong was fully prepared to sleep away his exhaustion.

In the morning, only boring work remained, like restocking the ship and careening the Stardust for repairs. Barnacles must be shed and leaks must be caulked to ensure she could travel at her swiftest, lest those navy ships lurking near Kibo catch up with them on their way to plot out the uncharted islands in the south.

The Mystic’s Island was supposedly located almost halfway between the colonies and the mainland, back the way they had come but southward, approximate in latitude to the Tae peninsula. Due to the large stretches of open ocean around it, and its measurable distance from trade routes, the area was relatively unexplored, hence Eden’s mission to explore the nearby uninhabited islands.

Despite their efforts, the way was blocked barely a few hours after they set out again by the Seabear, a navy ship directly in their path.

“I can handle this,” Babylon quickly offered when the sighting was called. “I’ll disguise myself as a whaling ship captain and you officers can wait below.”

Thinking quickly, Eden agreed to this plan and ordered for the colours to be changed. They had a number of fake flags to fly.

Hongjoong watched out of the corner of his eye while he brought down the flag as instructed and replaced it with a neutral one. The Seabear hadn’t seen them yet, but the closer they drifted, the more likely they would be noticed.

Babylon had altered his appearance yet again, this time to another strange face Hongjoong had never seen. He wondered if Babylon invented these alter egos entirely or if they were based on someone’s likeness.

Remaining nondescript and in the background, he observed Babylon at the helm taking on another character entirely, down to his manner of gesturing. When the Seabear drew close enough for conversation, he spoke with the navy officers for a few moments and then they were again on their way, two ships passing each other.

Despite how easily they had made it through, there was a dark cloud over the sorcerer when he returned to his regular form and work in the galley.

“That was excellent,” Hongjoong complimented from the table where he chopped vegetables, excited after such a risky encounter. It was just the sort of scheme that made pirate life rewarding. “The Stardust can get away with anything with you on board. How did you learn the ability so quickly?”

Ignoring the question, Babylon put his frustration into seasoning the meat, pounding spices into it and mumbling, “Could get away with more if we finished the job.”

“What do you mean?” Hongjoong asked, confused. It had gone off without a hitch, it was the perfect escape.

“We should’ve killed them,” Babylon turned and stared at the boy like it was obvious. “They’re just in our way.”

“I-I didn’t think that was the way of things,” Hongjoong stuttered and his hands stilled. Sure, they were pirates but they didn’t pick fights and murder excessively. “We intimidate and take hostages, taking lives is a last resort—”

“And that’s why we keep running into them,” Babylon cut him off, stone cold. It was tensely quiet for a moment before he continued his cooking. “Because we refuse to eliminate our enemies.”

Hongjoong considered the possibility late into the night. He supposed with Babylon’s new skills the Stardust could go on the offensive and strike anyone who might strike them first. But what would that entail?

Combat with trained soldiers, not unsuspecting merchants.

And, as confident as he was growing, Hongjoong wasn’t ready for that level of fighting yet.

He approached Jonghoon the next day to get in some target practice, and the Master-At-Arms easily obliged. Eden had only been able to oversee Hongjoong’s training personally once or twice since beginning their voyage, and they all knew it would be good for the boy to work with the other officers as well.

Long range shooting wasn’t the easiest for Hongjoong, but the encounter with the Seabear had made him restless and so he took the time required to improve his precision and timing.

Jonghoon helped him with little adjustments here and there until he was consistently accurate.

Some mornings, the pirates who shared quarters with him would take their breakfast on the main deck to watch him shoot a row of bottles off the quarterdeck railing from the other side of the ship.

“Good,” Jonghoon coached him. “Now relo—”

He was interrupted by the bang of the pistol going off again as Hongjoong pulled out his second gun and began firing, no reloading necessary.

The final bottle shattered and Babylon laughed from his place on the starboard side, “I think he was paying attention on his first day.”

The squawk of a great frigatebird lighting on the yard above Hongjoong’s head distracted him from readying a teasing retort, and all of a sudden the pirates were cheering him on to shoot the thing down.

Without hesitating for more than a second, he took his aim. The large bird was just perched there on the mast momentarily, not paying any attention to the people down below.

“Go on!” Babylon hissed through his teeth, just in case it spooked and flew off.

Before it knew what hit it, the frigatebird was blasted out of the sky and fell to the deck. Hongjoong remained still, tensed with his gun trained where the bird had been a moment earlier.

He’d shot it down.

The spectating pirates clapped courteously and went back to their business, aside from Babylon who approached with a satisfied smile.

“They’re a lot like us,” he pointed out when he had the large bird by the scruff of its neck, ensuring that it was dead.

“How do you mean?” Hongjoong asked quietly, holstering his pistol. “I thought frigatebirds couldn’t swim.”

“They can’t,” Babylon agreed. “They’re like us because they’re thieves. They steal food from other birds you know.”

Finally Hongjoong exhaled and cracked a small smile at the surgeon’s humour. It was a bit unsettling to watch the bird die by his own hand.

“First kill?” Babylon asked him knowingly.

He nodded. “With the gun anyway. Fish and shellfish aren’t quite the same as shooting a frigatebird out of the sky. Do you think we can eat it? I’d hate to have killed it for no reason.”

Perhaps in Babylon’s eyes it was a little boy’s innocent affection for the bird talking, but especially from a pirate’s perspective Hongjoong knew the creatures of the sea were travellers there just like them. As meaningful a death as he could afford the bird was the proper way of things.

“It’s a clean wound, I don’t see why not,” came the response, and soon enough Babylon was bringing the bird down to the galley. “I’m sure it tastes just like chicken.”

Jonghoon patted the boy on the back as he turned to collect the broken bottles. “Your speed is excellent,” he complimented over his shoulder.

Pirate life, Hongjoong had discovered, required two important things; deception and speed. The deception was easy to understand, but there were many uses for speed aboard a pirate vessel. Sailing fast, quick thinking, the ability to jump into action with very little information— the list ran on and on.

The Stardust herself was a vessel of speed, known for travelling up to 12 knots in record time and routinely chasing down hulking merchant ships and leaving attackers in the dust.

But there was nothing to be done about attackers on the inside.

Halfway to the nearest island, a pirate disappeared.

Just a few minutes after a sailor reported his bunkmate missing, the Weathervane reported a strange stain of blood on the forecastle where someone appeared to have been standing.

The pirates in the berth were buzzing about the news though the officers remained tight-lipped about their investigation.

It seemed most likely that the missing pirate had jumped overboard, but the theory didn’t explain the bloodstain.

Being cabin boy, Hongjoong had more proximity to the officers than the average sailor, so he did his best to find out any new information while washing the dishes for the day. Babylon had scolded him once before for using too much of their limited water supply, so he was careful to finish quickly but took his time mustering the nerve to ask his question.

“What did you make of the bloodstain, hyung?”

If anyone was sure to have a professional opinion on it, it was the surgeon Babylon. He’d inspected the stain immediately after it was discovered but not deigned to announce his findings.

“Oh, terrible thing, that,” he tutted over his reading. Buried in the spellbook again. “But it could just have easily have been an accident.”

Hongjoong took in a breath to raise his objections, but Babylon suddenly fixed him with a gaze, intense but unreadable.

“Accidents are common at sea. You should know.”

Hongjoong’s mouth snapped shut. The pirate’s comment had hit just too close to home.

“What do you mean by that?” He gritted out, trying not to give himself away by his heavy breathing. A nerve had just been struck and the pirate had no right to be talking about this.

Sighing in annoyance, Babylon clasped his hands. “Very well, I’ll spell it out.”

He enunciated every word in a patronising tone, like Hongjoong should be grateful he was dumbing it down for him. “If he died due to his own stupidity, it’s no one’s fault but his own. Yes, it’s regrettable but that’s what the ocean does. Your parents were no exception.”

Immediately Hongjoong’s eyes filled with tears. What a callous thing to say, even from a pirate.

“What, so it’s normal to just tumble overboard with no explanation?” Hongjoong choked out, anger building inside. “You’re saying he deserved to drown?”

“Not everyone is cut out for it,” Babylon sneered, hardly bothered by the growing tension. “You respect the natural forces of this world or you die. So don’t waste your time being scared.”

Fists clenched until bloody crescent moons broke the skin.

“And if you’re going to cry, do it somewhere else,” Babylon waved a hand dismissively. “I haven’t the patience.”

Hongjoong was already gone, storming outside and climbing up into the sails, finally perching on the very same yard he had carefully traversed during the storm. A fall from that height would kill him, he knew, but he didn’t care at the moment. He just needed somewhere to be alone, somewhere the wind could dry the tears on his face before they were seen.

Here he had thought that after four years of feeling so alone, he had found a home.

But there it was; the tragedy that had ruined his life being used to define him, as a victim. Suddenly he didn’t belong.

How did Babylon even know about his parents? Hongjoong wondered about it as he angrily scrubbed his face. Could Eden have told him? Had it come out over a night like the one they’d had on the way to the colonies, with the officers drunk and carefree? Had everyone laughed? Had they joked about Hongjoong’s fear of the sea?

Babylon’s words seemed like a thinly veiled threat. That the ocean would not hesitate to take the weakest of those who set out on it. The missing pirate, his parents… even Hongjoong.

But he was no weakling, he was a pirate now. He wasn’t afraid of the ocean, he didn’t need to run away, and he wouldn’t cry in front of the men.

Babylon had been so kind and patient before. He’d nursed him back to health himself. He knew firsthand how Hongjoong had grown tougher. Closing his eyes and sighing, he wondered if he really was being too sensitive.

Few things annoyed him like that condescending tone of voice. Hongjoong hated being spoken to like a child.

He wasn’t one anymore. He hadn’t been for years now.

Perhaps it had been a mistake to trust the pirates. What a ridiculous notion, that he could trust thieves and killers. And yet he still wished to be part of their world, their community. To throw away the rules and go with the tides. The Stardust was where he came to chase his dreams.

Looking out at the boundless blue before him, Hongjoong wondered if this had been the frigatebird’s last view, in the seconds before he had shot it down.

It was dangerous but it was also peaceful. An untouchable refuge close to the clouds. From here, he could float away wherever he wished, an escape on the wind.

Still, he couldn’t hide up there forever and as much as he wanted to stay upset when he reappeared for suppertime, Babylon’s changed demeanour calmed him down considerably.

He looked apologetic as he placed a dinner plate in front of Hongjoong for his meal. The portion was a bit bigger than usual.

“Look, I’m sorry I upset you,” the pirate sighed, sitting across from him with his own untouched plate. He’d waited for the cabin boy to come back before starting. “But if you want to live out here—”

“I’ve gotten over it,” Hongjoong interrupted, avoiding eye contact and eating his food with renewed purpose. “Doesn’t matter anyway.”

After a moment of silence, Babylon nodded and began to eat, clearly still lost in thought. “Eden will be tightening his leash on you I suspect. But if he’s trained you well enough… well, you’ll have nothing to fear from falling overboard like that man.”

If that was really what had happened to him.

And as it turned out, three days later, that theory was beginning to look very unlikely. Another pirate went missing. Another stain of blood appeared.

Only this one was splattered over much wider a distance.

“It must have happened in the night,” the Weathervane whispered from his hammock while Hongjoong lay awake listening, unsettled. “Can’t have been an accident or a suicide. It looks like a struggle took place, like the body was dragged up to the forecastle.”

“But who would do such a thing?” Another pirate asked, fear seeping into his voice.

No one could answer.

Candlelit nights of stories, games, and laughter among the men became silent and tense, each one wondering if he would be next. Every time the Stardust creaked, it felt like the sound of a prowling killer.

More murders followed, each with the same evidence but a seemingly random victim, and the investigation quietly continued. Rules were instituted about where and when the pirates could go and a curfew confined them to their berth by dark. The officers rotated the night watches by themselves.

Babylon continued to be irritable, and to work late nights in the infirmary by the light of a single candle. He must’ve been lashing out from the stress of the murder case, Hongjoong reasoned. The surgeon had never looked this busy before, with pages from his books littering the room and shelves stacked with jars of blood he kept for some sort of experiment.

They were one day out from the nearest potential landfall when Hongjoong discovered the truth. It was late afternoon and he was supposed to stay belowdecks while he wasn’t needed in the galley, but he was bored and needed Babylon’s help sewing up a hole in his wool sock.

In accordance with the new regulations, he had to report his whereabouts, so he went up to the main deck first where Maddox was on watch and announced his intentions to find Babylon in the infirmary.

“You want to leave your berth? Not to scare you, Hongjoong, but a killer is at large,” Maddox reminded him sombrely.

“I’m not scared,” Hongjoong defended himself quickly, hoping he sounded more convinced than he felt.

The quartermaster sighed and ran a hand through his hair. “If something were to happen to you—”

Hongjoong jumped in to reassure him, “I can handle myself, hyung. Eden taught me for a reason.”

Maddox shook his head and smiled fondly. The boy just didn’t understand.

“Yonghwan doesn’t take apprentices, he doesn’t train pirates. He’s rarely so open, even with his inner circle,” he explained, placing a hand on the lad’s shoulder. “But you… you’re special, Hongjoong. You changed everything. So don’t do anything rash, please, he’d lose his mind if you got hurt.”

Removing Maddox’s hand and giving it a confident pat, Hongjoong carried on with his business. “I’m flattered, really, but I’ll be fine. It won’t even be long, I’m just asking a question.”

“Straight back to your hammock when you’re done, no detours!” Maddox commanded him, clearly still nervous. The Stardust was bigger than she looked from the outside, and there were plenty of hallways to be trapped in with an unidentified murderer.

The infirmary was dark and quiet when he entered, with a strangely metallic scent that smelled faint, like something had been burning but was now extinguished.

Babylon was at his desk as usual, whispering foreign words to himself that lilted like an incantation. He didn’t look up as Hongjoong entered, so he approached and spoke up to catch his attention.

“I was hoping you could help me with my stockings—”

“Run along,” Babylon cut him off distractedly, glancing at the cabin boy and the socks dangling from his hands before returning to his reading. “I have work to do, ask someone else to babysit you.”

Gritting his teeth, Hongjoong put aside his indignation to bargain with the pirate. “It’s just this one section, hyung. I’ll try to do it myself but if I could show you when I’m done, maybe you can correct it?”

Babylon didn’t answer, but Hongjoong wouldn’t give up that easily, so he took up a seat on an empty examination table and threaded his needle, getting to work on the difficult corner he was stitching.

Irritated after a few minutes that the seam didn’t look right, Hongjoong huffed and sat back, flinching when he pricked himself with the needle by accident.

Sighing at his own clumsiness, he watched the dot of blood begin to collect on the end of his finger.

Babylon was suddenly out of his seat and catching his arm before he could wipe it away. “Don’t,” he said simply, cradling Hongjoong’s finger and watching the blood begin to stain the grooves of his skin red.

Babylon appeared almost fascinated by it.

“Something wrong?” Hongjoong smirked, amused at the surgeon’s weird behaviour, until Babylon neglected a response and turned to rummage around in his supplies.

“What are you doing?” He asked him, the smile dropping from his face. The pirate was looking at a set of knives now and stopped moving to stare at him intently, still entranced.

He looked like he was weighing unknown options in his head, engrossed in some secret Hongjoong didn’t know about.

Uneasiness spread in the pit of his stomach and he rose from the table, slowly moving toward the door. Something was seriously wrong here.

“A necessary evil,” Babylon finally answered, resigned to whatever the voices in his head had told him to do.

Just as Hongjoong tried to make a break for it, he found himself pinned to the wall by the tall sorcerer with lightning speed, both of his hands wrapped around his throat.

Unable even to gasp at the shock of it while his air supply was slowly being cut off, Hongjoong made a number of failed attempts at squirming away, tears building in his eyes as he tried to understand what was happening.

His eyes landed on something on the shelf above the desk, and he realised what had been right in front of him the whole time.

The jars of blood.

It was Babylon.

He intended to bleed him to death and then throw his body overboard to erase the evidence. He was never investigating the murders, it was him all along.

The blood stains all made sense now. He had ambushed his unsuspecting victims, collected their blood, and disposed of them like they were less than human.

“Why?” Hongjoong croaked out through his raw throat. The pressure just kept increasing and suddenly he was fighting for his life, kicking uselessly with his legs while Babylon laughed an empty chuckle and shook his head.

“You couldn’t possibly understand.”

The moment he removed a hand and turned to grab a knife from the set, when his attention was split between his captive and the weapon, Hongjoong ran for it. Pushing Babylon’s arm away, he sprinted through the room and out the door, opening his mouth to scream for help.

Arms were quickly there tackling him to the floor, knocking the wind out of him and restraining his movements.

Footsteps sounded from down the hallway and Hongjoong struggled harder. Someone was coming, someone who could save him.

A kick to the face stopped him from trying to call out again and bought Babylon enough time to open the hatch above and stick his head out.

His only escape was up.

“Maddox!” He called to the quartermaster on duty. “Let me take the watch, I’ve been neglecting mine.”

Hongjoong’s eyes widened and he fought tooth and nail to pry Babylon’s hand from his mouth. Maddox was right there, if only he could get his attention before Babylon sent him away.

“Are you sure?” Maddox called back, completely unaware of the situation just out of view. Hongjoong was trapped right below his eye level, in the corridor. And Babylon’s grip on him was iron.

“Yes, of course,” he suavely reassured the quartermaster, without a hint in his voice of the effort he was expending to conceal his prisoner. “Sorry I���ve been cooped up in the infirmary lately.”

Without argument, Maddox left the deck for the wardroom, and the moment he was gone, Babylon hauled Hongjoong up to the forecastle.

But he needed both hands to drag the boy behind him, finally leaving his mouth uncovered. As he pulled the boy up the steps toward the bowsprit, Hongjoong took his only chance.

“Help!” He yelled hoarsely, praying his voice would reach the other side of the ship where Maddox had been moments earlier. He had to hear, he had to do something or that was it. Retribution would be swift and Hongjoong would be dead.

Dead on a pirate ship without a proper goodbye to anyone.

Mingi would be shattered.

The scream didn’t travel far before Babylon intervened. Receiving a slap to the face for his disobedience, Hongjoong didn’t hear the steps approaching until Maddox’s shout startled him.

“What’s going on here?” He demanded, making his way down from the quarterdeck to investigate.

He had never heard the man so angry.

“Maddox—” Hongjoong cried in relief, trying to crawl back across the ship, but the knife was at his neck in an instant.

It was obvious now who the enemy was. There was no hiding it. Babylon didn’t contrive any excuse, he didn’t change form into the appearance of someone else, he didn’t speak at all. He was caught red handed and there was no explanation good enough for such a betrayal.

The quartermaster shook with rage, unable to come to Hongjoong’s defence.

“Please…” the boy whispered, trembling now as Babylon pulled him up and backed the two of them all the way to the rail. He could slice his throat and spill all the blood he wanted in an instant.

“Captain!” Maddox called sharply, and Eden was outside on the quarterdeck in an instant, followed by the officers who had been with him in his quarters, Jihan and Youngsaeng, who hurried to gather the others when it became clear what was going on.

“Babylon, whatever you’re thinking,” Eden warned darkly, a hand on his holster. He looked straight at the surgeon after a cursory glance at Hongjoong. “Don’t try it.”

“Come any closer and I’ll kill him. It won’t take much,” Babylon delivered the last line haughtily, lifting Hongjoong by the collar of his shirt and shaking him before repositioning the dagger at his throat.

“We can talk about this, Jongmin,” the captain insisted. “Put down the knife.”

He sounded so earnest, so pained to be facing down his own officer. Clearly he thought he could diffuse the situation still, and his eyes pleaded with Babylon to stand down.

“You think I’m bluffing, Captain?” He spat, digging the knife in just above Hongjoong’s collarbone where it began to collect blood. He tried not to whimper but fear had clouded his senses. Distantly, he heard the footsteps of officers climbing up to the main deck. Soomin’s voice gasped from somewhere.

No one could come closer while the knife touched him, slicing a little deeper the more he shook.

Eden whipped out a pistol and trained it on his former friend. “This isn’t you,” he gritted out, fuming.

“You don’t know me!” Babylon roared back, and his voice was loud in Hongjoong’s ears. He screwed his eyes shut and focused on his own shallow breaths. Blood was leaking down in a single stream and soaking his clothes, warm against his icy skin.

“I have a higher purpose now,” Babylon was saying. “And if you stand in my way, you’ll be the first to regret it.”

Eden pursed his lips and flicked off the safety on his gun. His arm continued to hover there, frozen with the inability to finish the job.

Babylon adjusted his grip on the dagger, sticky blood making it harder to grasp, but didn’t move again.

They were at a standstill.

So Hongjoong swung.

Finally he had managed to throw a punch of his own, landing the blow on the side of Babylon’s temple and knocking him back just the right distance to create enough room between his neck and the knife.

There was only one place to go. The very place Babylon had tried to send him.

Overboard.

Before Babylon could recover him, Hongjoong leaned back and somersaulted off the railing, kicking away from the ship and trying to position his feet downwards before he hit the water.

The ocean swallowed him whole without question, and he didn’t fight it at first while he sunk from the momentum of his fall.

Bubbles were foaming up from where he had entered the water, and when finally he could kick his legs and paddle up, they parted so he could meet the surface.

Gasping for air, Hongjoong propelled himself back toward the Stardust, towering above him and moving on at a steady pace.

With a grunt of effort, he followed after, feeling the resistance in the water as the ship’s wake washed him back.

He was being pushed away faster than he could recover his ground, and frustrated sobs punctuated his strokes while he fought back.

It wasn’t working, he was falling behind.

The salty water stung at his neck, but he ignored the pain and swam forward with all the energy he had left, looking up when a shout from the deck drifted down to him.

Minseob was there, and he threw a long rope down that Hongjoong eagerly snatched up, letting himself be pulled along behind and tucking his face down into his shoulder, shielding it from the water that splashed him along the way.

When he drew up to the side and was close enough to climb, he reached a foot out to take his first step, clinging to the rope and walking up the side. Portholes and gunports provided helpful footholds, and soon the officers were pulling him up and helping him over the rail, soaked and shivering from terror.

“Oh, Hongjoong,” Minseob cried in relief, enveloping him in a blanket. He was exhausted, the adrenaline finally starting to wear off, and so he let himself be hugged and cried into the boatswain’s shoulder.

“Yonghwan hyung…” he asked for the captain through hitched breaths, feeling vulnerable even with no sign of Babylon on deck.

“He’s locking Jongmin in the brig,” Youngsaeng explained, a calming hand rubbing the boy’s back.

Where had pirates learned to be soft and comforting like this?

Hongjoong nodded and reached up to rub the tears from his face, meeting eyes with Maddox who dropped to his knees beside him and wiped away the hair that stuck to his forehead.

“Thank you for hearing me,” Hongjoong whispered as loudly as he could through his sore throat, and he let out a sniffle when Maddox rested a hand on his shoulder. It felt so different than it had the first time.

“Thank you for calling,” the quartermaster said gravely. “Honestly, you saved yourself.”

It was frightening but true, Hongjoong realised with a hollow sobriety. His life had almost ended, just like that.

But he had taken a risk and propelled himself to safety. He had proven himself, and Babylon never saw it coming for a second.

The excitement had fizzled out and, when Minseob pulled him to his feet, a tiredness seeped into Hongjoong’s limbs. He was ready for his hammock again.

“Let’s clean you up first,” Eden’s voice broke through the haze and then he was there, carrying Hongjoong to the captain’s cabin and setting him down on the bed, officers trailing behind.

He sent them all out with a quiet command before helping Hongjoong into a change of clothes and bandaging his neck.

The wound had bled considerably but the cut wasn’t too deep, and to his great relief, hadn’t severed any important veins or arteries.

“You did well,” Eden told him when he was dry and safely nestled in the blankets. He said nothing more for awhile, burdened by the knowledge that a man he trusted was a traitor.

Hongjoong could see how much it took for a pirate to trust another. This betrayal was more painful than he could imagine.

“Stay here,” the captain instructed from his desk when the sun began to set and Hongjoong’s restless dozing had still not produced a peaceful sleep. “I won’t be sleeping tonight.”

With that, Eden left the room, likely to question Babylon, and Hongjoong was alone with his thoughts. A shadow by the door told him one of the officers was guarding the room while at the helm, and it was enough security to slowly relax the tension from his shoulders.

It was warmer in the captain’s cabin, which in these tropical waters would typically be stifling, but the chill of his near miss with death clung to him, so Hongjoong clutched the blankets close to him and wiped at the tip of his cold nose.

The golden sunlight began to fade to pink and angled through the windows, playing on the floor in a kaleidoscope of little rainbows projected through the glass.

Hongjoong watched dust particles dance in the sunbeam and let his eyes close when they grew too heavy to stay open.

It was night when he awoke.

Adjusting the blankets, he had rolled over to try to fall asleep again when voices reached his ears from the level below.

“Clearly it was premeditated!” Someone was arguing, Soomin from the sounds of it, and growing more agitated by the second. “The murders took place over more than a single week, Eden. Something like this doesn’t just happen repeatedly.”

They must have been arguing about Babylon, Hongjoong realised. Sitting up from the bed, he considered whether to go down and listen more closely to the officers’ meeting or try to block the conversation out.

It wasn’t his business what happened to Babylon. He just wanted to be far away from the man.

“And I don’t deny that,” Eden admitted, voice somewhat muffled but evidently trying to placate the Master Gunner. “But we all know he started dabbling in magic, why can’t we stop and think for a second what sort of spiritual forces might have been involved in this?”

“Because whatever they may be, he did this himself,” Jonghoon said, insistent. “He made a choice to take blood at the expense of lives. That’s enough information for me.”

Still Eden wasn’t so sure. “There’s something we aren’t understanding here…”

As he trailed off, Hongjoong sighed and slipped out from under the blankets. It wasn’t his business, but he had to know what they would decide concerning Babylon’s fate.

It was too large a question in his mind.

“He was acting strange recently, after he started the shapeshifting,” Youngsaeng was saying before Hongjoong tiptoed from the captain’s cabin and down to the door of the wardroom, listening outside in a crouching position should anyone glance out the window and see him.

Jihan was speaking when he rejoined the conversation.

“I never liked him.”

Minseob groaned and stepped in before the navigator could continue. “No one asked you Jihan. Keep it to yourself for once.”

“You saw his eyes when he had Hongjoong,” Jonghoon reminded the room, voice seemingly directed at Eden. “No regret, no remorse. He knew what he was doing and he meant to do it. To Hongjoong of all people.”

“To think what could have happened,” Youngsaeng shuddered as he considered it aloud. “He was alone with him any number of times.”

Maddox sighed and finally spoke up. “I’m sorry. That… that was my fault, I sent him in there during the lockdown.”

Hongjoong bit his lip anxiously. It really hadn’t been Maddox’s fault. He had insisted he leave the berth himself.

“Don’t put this on yourself, Kyungmoon,” Eden protested. “We both know this is my fault. Hongjoong wouldn’t even be here in the first place if—”

“It’s no one’s fault but Babylon’s,” Minseob broke in firmly. “What’s done is done. The only question is what to do with him now.”

A silence stretched on while the officers thought about the all important question.

“I say we keelhaul the blackguard,” Jihan volunteered an idea and Eden immediately shot it down.

“This is Jongmin we’re talking about! He fought by your side in countless battles against the navy and you won’t even afford him a trial?”

“A traitor who confesses to seven murders and is caught in the act of attempting to commit one more does not require a trial,” Jihan shot back, disgust evident in his voice.  “What would that accomplish?”

Maddox chimed in to remind the captain of his own rules for the ship. “Eden, the penalty here for murdering a crew member has always been death. Jongmin is no exception.”

“I say firing squad,” Soomin suggested. “More dignified than keelhauling but death is what he deserves.”

The sound of Eden collapsing into a chair startled Hongjoong momentarily. His lack of a response spoke volumes. It was just too difficult to sentence someone who had once been your brother to a merciless death, even knowing what he had done.

“Soomin, bring him in here. I’d like to speak with him.”

Hongjoong scrambled out of the way and hid behind the opening door as Soomin followed orders with a sigh.

He could only cling to the shadows when the pirate returned with the prisoner, walking with a blank expression on his face and not bothering to struggle.

There was the sound of a pistol clicking when he entered the room, someone holding a gun to his head while the captain questioned him.

“What were you doing?” He asked harshly, sharp words raising gooseflesh on Hongjoong’s arms as he eavesdropped.

Babylon sounded almost bored with his simple response, “A blood ritual.”

“Why?”

“As preparation for the entrance of the rightful rulers of this world,” Babylon answered, voice rising in volume along with his annoyance. “To expand my powers. To summon my allies.”

“The dark arts have no place on this ship,” Eden replied, his voice still strong but with a hint of fatigue. “You understand the consequences of killing seven men?”

He was still trying to get through to him, reasoning with a madman who knew full well what he had done.

“A mere foretaste of what’s coming. Worthy sacrifices in the name of progress.”

Eden’s sigh betrayed his agony. He longed to show the sorcerer mercy.

“That’s all the proof we need,” Soomin scoffed from his side of the room. “He’s not even trying to make up a decent excuse.”

“And when he escapes with his magic and we find Hongjoong dead in the captain’s cabin next, what then?” Youngsaeng postulated. “We’ll be wishing we’d ended him now. Right now.”

Hongjoong clamped a hand over his mouth to suppress the sharp gasp he’d made from reaching the officer’s ears.

Perhaps he’d been sleeping too soundly after the attempt on his life.

Jihan sounded just as panicked. “He can get out of the cell with his magic?”

“He’s a sorcerer,” Minseob answered him dryly. “We don’t know what he can’t do, so we have to assume he can. It’s a slaughter waiting to happen. He’s a liability we can’t afford.”

Babylon was laughing at their division, their fear over what he could do.

After a moment, the sound died down.

Eden must have been grimly staring the pirate down to shut him up.

Maddox’s voice sounded nearest the door as he begged his captain in a quiet petition, “Yonghwan. Please.”

Hongjoong found himself quietly echoing the plea.

“Jongmin, we will shortly be sighting land. It will be isolated and uninhabited,” Eden announced before finally proclaiming his judgment. “We will maroon you there with no provisions or weapons. I hope you realise you’ve chosen this yourself.”

It was certain death, but not by Eden’s hand. Death by the elements. By the natural forces Babylon so revered.

“Indeed I have,” Babylon responded, and he sounded as if he spoke the words through a wide smile. Arrogantly he went on, “Drop me wherever you like, Captain. But if you won’t provide means to survive, at least let me have my spellbook. A man needs his reading.”

And with no strong objections from the officers, Eden agreed.

What harm could he do, alone on a southern island devoid of resources? Even with the book, he wouldn’t last a week.

Questions more or less answered, Hongjoong crept back to the captain’s cabin and dove under the covers once more.

It was creepy how unapologetic Babylon sounded, how aware and uncaring of his own evil. When he had suggested to kill the soldiers of the Seabear, at least his violence had been directed elsewhere. But now he spoke of sailors on his own ship, under his command, like they were nothing. A means to an end.

Pushing dark forces and otherworldly evils from his mind, Hongjoong tried to sleep again. His stomach was unsettled for a long time and his heart pounded in his ears until at last, he drifted off into dreams.

Morning filtered in through the windows quietly.

Hongjoong was hungry after missing the evening meal yesterday, and the smell of porridge left for him on Eden’s desk was inviting. He wasn’t sure who had made breakfast, but it tasted just about the same as usual and soothed the pain in his throat.

The small hand mirror was there in its drawer, so Hongjoong took it out to inspect the damage Babylon had done.

His cheek was bruised red from the force of the slap, and a small gash scratched the bridge of his nose where he’d been kicked, but most of the damage was concentrated to his neck where a blue handprint wrapped around his throat and the bandage over the knife gash was beginning to leak.

Lacing up his boots, he ventured out onto the deck where business seemed to be going on as usual until Youngsaeng noticed him from the helm.

“Hongjoong, can I get you anything?”

His voice was stronger than it had been before, so clearing his throat, he asked for water and a new bandage.

He insisted on dressing the wound himself and went to keep a lookout in the crow’s nest while the Master Rigger was at the helm for his forenoon watch, winning over Youngsaeng’s protests. He had rested long enough and he wasn’t going to get anymore sleep than he had.

It was windy up in the rigging, and clouds blew overhead, crossing the sun and occasionally casting shadows down on Hongjoong’s perch.

It was the same sky he and Mingi often admired from the beach at Panhang, but so much wider and full of possibilities. Every horizon promised adventure, some thrilling and some dangerous, and he was still in search of it, despite yesterday’s sour taste.

A sound from below alerted him to Eden climbing up to the crow’s nest from beneath, and Hongjoong wondered where he had been for the remainder of the night.

Perhaps in Babylon’s bunk while its owner enjoyed the hospitality of a prison cell.

He didn’t prod the captain with questions when he settled in beside him, gaze pointed ahead while they travelled southwest.

“We’re going to maroon him at the first opportunity,” Eden finally said quietly, informing Hongjoong of the decided punishment he already knew about.

“That doesn’t happen very often, does it?” He replied, hugging his legs and watching Eden’s face for a reaction.

“Typically only in a mutiny. But nothing about this week has been typical.” He glanced at his apprentice with his eyes shining full of regret. “I’m sure this has been a pretty poor trial of pirate life. I’ve always told you I can’t guarantee your safety, but for the threat to come from inside… that was a surprise to me too.”

Hongjoong smiled to assure him and pointed out softly, “It wasn’t all bad. Just this past week, really. And I’m already on the mend.”

He pointed to the bruises on his neck, already a shade lighter than they’d been before bed.

The tension in Eden’s jaw gave away his anger at the sight of pain Babylon had caused.

It was easy to see that he felt guilty over ever allowing his apprentice to become involved in the first place.

“Will you quit?”

Hongjoong immediately shook his head.

“No. I’m committed to this path.” He knew Eden wished more than ever now that he would quit. But the captain didn’t seem surprised when he refused to give up.

Things had gone wrong, but he had never expected life to become perfect. “There’s so much left to do and see,” he reminded Eden, who nodded reluctantly.

“Following the original plan, I would’ve stopped at the Mystic’s island,” he explained when Hongjoong clearly wanted to know about their future travels. “I’d still like to speak with her to learn more about this magic of Babylon’s, but I think it’s time to end this voyage and get you home. That’s the priority.”

Hongjoong sat back with a frown but didn’t protest. He knew there was no arguing with him about it. He’d simply have to enjoy the time he had left.

“I won’t stay there forever, you know.”

Eden glanced at him with a question in his eyes.

“Jangwon Hall, even Panhang,” Hongjoong clarified. “If Babylon escapes somehow, he might come looking for me. He made some comments before that led me to believe he knows a bit too much about my background. He’ll easily figure out where to look.”

Face growing red, and not from the heat of the sun but a tinge of embarrassment, the pirate rubbed the back of his neck and acknowledged his wrongs. As usual, the boy was able to get under his skin with very little noticeable effort.

“I’m sure he conducted some research of his own, but yes, I’ll admit I told the officers a bit about you. Bringing an apprentice on is highly unusual for me, and the circumstances were important to understand. I wouldn’t have said a thing if I hadn’t trusted them all completely. That’s a mistake I won’t make again.”

Hongjoong accepted this and squeezed Eden’s hand for encouragement. He was the Dread Pirate and he probably didn’t need it but what comfort he could give, Hongjoong was compelled to try.

“But you’ll need to replace him,” he remarked, voice soft from the roughness in his throat but also from his own hesitation to bring it up. “Won’t you hire a new surgeon and cook?”

Eden snorted and gave the boy a sideways glance. “You’re thinking of putting your name forward for consideration?”

Exaggerating his act of false modesty, Hongjoong suppressed a smile and said, “Well, I don’t think I have much skill in either of those positions, aside from emergency situations.” The captain barked out a laugh at this and, giggling, Hongjoong continued, “So no, I’ll have to go for something else instead.”

“Good, because you won’t be hired!” Eden exclaimed, yet again in awe of his apprentice. “I know you can’t cook.”

Hongjoong punched him lightly in the arm for the joke and faked a bruised ego for a minute before seeing something on the horizon.

“Is that… land?”

He squinted at the distant shadow, snatching the spyglass out of Eden’s hands before he could use it himself. “It is!” He gasped with excitement. He had sighted land himself, yet another rite of passage. “Land—”

Coughing though his sore throat, Hongjoong realised maybe he’d have to let Eden have this one. “You should probably call it,” he rasped, offering back the spyglass.

Eden took it back with a raised eyebrow and leaned over the side of the crow’s nest, yelling, “Land ho!”

He motioned for Hongjoong to follow him, and together the two descended to the main deck, ready to get on with the business of the day, however grim it may be.

Youngsaeng had heard his captain’s call and quickly sent for Jonghoon and Soomin, who conversed with Eden for a moment and, when they had approached the desert island to an acceptable distance, escorted Babylon to the deck.

Hongjoong avoided the sorcerer’s eyes, loitering near the mainmast and trying to blend in with the crowd. He didn’t want the traitor’s attention on him any longer than it already had been.

Silence fell over the seamen as they witnessed their officer being led outside, restrained.

Confirming their suspicions, Eden positioned himself on the steps to the quarterdeck and gave a speech of explanation.

“Here on the Stardust, we hold to the standards of the pirate code. Each and every one of the officers who serve on this ship, myself included, do so at the pleasure of her crew.”

Hongjoong caught a questioning glance from the Weathervane and returned it with a weak smile. He’d understand soon enough why Eden was emphasising the democratic nature of pirate government.

“As such, the act of murdering seven members of this crew, those we have sworn to protect, is an especially grievous crime,” the captain was going on to say. “After fruitless investigations, officer Lee Jongmin, cook and surgeon whom you all know well as Babylon, was caught in an attempt to kill an eighth victim and confessed to his crimes.”

Gasps went up all around at this revelation, something most of the men hadn’t known about until this moment. One of their own officers, a man whose hands they regularly put their lives in, had betrayed them all in cold blood. And from the looks of his smug face, had done so without remorse.

“Therefore in accordance with our laws at sea and in keeping with the severity of the crime, to respect the lives lost, Babylon is hereby sentenced to death by marooning without provisions,” Eden announced, turning to face the accused and adding quietly, “May your end be swift.”

With no further ceremony, he selected a group of men to help with the longboat and loaded the condemned for his final journey, with nothing more than a spellbook and the shirt on his back. They hurled curses at him as they did so on behalf of their fallen crew members.

Eden rowed by himself, quickly closing the distance between the Stardust and the island, and Babylon turned his back to him, facing the bit of land that would be his resting place.

Hongjoong wandered to the rail with the other curious pirates to get a measure of the area. The terrain was somewhat jagged, with cliffs jutting out above the beach and most of the vegetation growing much higher than the longboat’s landing point.

“He’ll die there,” Jihan said solemnly from beside him, eyes trained on Babylon’s distant figure as he stepped out of the boat and onto the sand. Eden neglected to hand him the customary pistol with a single bullet that was traditionally offered to all marooned pirates and instead gave him his book and set out once more to pull for the Stardust. “But we won’t get to watch.”

“Avast with that sort of talk, the boy is listening,” Minseob scolded the navigator, disapprovingly.

“He’s no ordinary boy,” Jihan defended, smiling brightly at Hongjoong despite the circumstances. “He’s a pirate now.”

Relief flowing through him, Hongjoong beamed back. The officers and the men around them were in agreement.

He belonged.

Over the next few weeks of travel northwest, back to Panhang by way of the archipelago, Hongjoong tried his best to adjust to working with the different crewmen who rotated cooking meals.

Eden had also been keeping a closer eye on him, and Hongjoong didn’t mind his increased presence. It made up for the lack of Babylon, a once regular staple of his typical day aboard.

Mostly thanks to the traitor’s actions, a net loss of nine men over the course of the journey— including the pirate who had fallen in the storm— necessitated a stop in the archipelago to recruit.

Sitting in the infirmary, a room which still sent chills down his spine, and letting the captain remove his bandages, Hongjoong wondered why Eden was also hiring a new cabin boy.

“Do you think I’m a bad pirate?” He asked, downcast despite how excellently his body had healed so far. The bruises were mostly faded and the scar from the dagger wound was a subtly pale pink that blended in, easily concealed by his shirt collar.

“I know you’ll be an excellent one,” Eden admitted patiently, inspecting the boy’s neck and deeming it cured. “That’s what scares me.”

Hongjoong sighed restlessly and kicked his feet back and forth where they hung off the edge of the table. “Then when will I be ready? For another voyage?”

His first expedition was ending too soon, and the thought of getting by without his new friends for however many months until they reappeared was not a happy one.

“You know the answer to that,” Eden chided casually while he went about his business, tidying up the mess he’d made of bandages and ointments. The sickbay area had essentially become communal in the weeks since Babylon’s departure.

“When I’m old enough to leave the Hall?” Hongjoong responded, deadpan. “That’s still a few years away. You’d best hope I don’t forget everything you’ve taught me by then… otherwise you’ll have to keep on that new cabin boy.”

Unable to resist ruffling his apprentice’s hair, Eden opened the door to show him out and quipped back, “Somehow I don’t think that’s possible.”

And so despite his protestations, after many days of high seas and many nights of lively singing, the shore of Panhang became visible once more on a mild night in early spring.

Hongjoong said his goodbyes to the other pirates in his berth and to the officers who had welcomed him so gently, promising to see them again.

Eden insisted they row a significant distance to keep the Stardust out of view, should anyone recognise it.

To Hongjoong it simply meant more time to take in the coastline and chat with Maddox.

“There they are,” he said, gesturing upwards with his head. His hands were busy holding the lantern that lit their way. “The stars I painted when we left the coast.”

“An excellent likeness,” Maddox praised, comparing the painted bag to the patch of sky they could see through sparse clouds.

Hongjoong shook his head in wonderment as he watched them come in and out of view. “So much has happened since I was here last.”

How could the time have flown by?

Eden finally spoke up between grunts as he pulled on the oars, “I’ll admit, I worried for you. The storm, encountering the Navy, Babylon’s betrayal… But you persevered and you’ll do just fine.”

Grinning at this admission, Hongjoong perked up.

“You think I can be a pirate captain myself?”

“Hold on now!” Eden protested, amused. “I mean you’ll do just fine as my cabin boy, don’t get too ahead of yourself.”

Hongjoong childishly put up a hand to halt the pirate’s excuses. “Can’t take it back now.”

Maddox laughed softly and gave his captain a light kick to the shins. “Well done, now you’ve put the idea in his head,” he teased.

Eden returned swiftly with a sarcastic remark, “Oh, it was in his head long before—”

Smile dropping from his face, Maddox shushed him and the mood suddenly darkened. “Hold on, stop the boat,” he cautioned. “Someone’s on the beach.”

A figure stood on the sand, jumping and waving his arms, having just run down from the lighthouse.

“Mingi…”

Maddox was confused.

“Who?”

“Song Mingi,” Hongjoong hurriedly explained. “I know him, he—he’s my friend.”

Captain and quartermaster glanced at each other in some sort of unspoken conversation, a serious air between them.

“He’s seen us,” Eden stated the obvious with a frown.

That was a problem.

Brows furrowed in thought, Hongjoong set the lantern down beside him and interjected, “Wait, let me handle this. I’ll think of something.”

When they’d pulled up almost to the breakers, he said a reluctant goodbye and shouldered his bag, diving into the water and immediately regretting it as the cold waves washed him towards shore.

He had done the best he could, so Hongjoong smiled awkwardly through chattering teeth and waded through shallower water to meet his friend.

Mingi was standoffish in his confusion, and it was all Hongjoong could do to reassure him and swear him to secrecy after letting slip in his indignation that Yonghwan was the one who encouraged him to go back on the water again.

Thankfully, when the pirates in their longboat set out for the Stardust again, he managed to procure a secret from Mingi about his nightly studying, making them even.

The pair sealed their deal with a handshake and invited some levity in the form of more mundane topics of conversation.

Hongjoong had missed Mingi, a fact he couldn’t deny even when it confronted him with their diverging paths.

When they reached the fork in the road, the younger boy would skip away in the direction of his home, the seaside cottage of Hongjoong’s childhood memories, and he would be left to trudge further up the hill to Jangwon Hall and pretend none of this had ever happened.

He’d just have to manage it, he decided while he took a detour to the top of the bluff to watch the Stardust fade into the night.

It had been terrifying at times, but it was an adventure, a peek into another world that offered him a brand new life.

The beauty of every day out there on the sea was so alluring. Brilliant sunsets on the Stardust, colourful fireworks over Coral Harbour, the gentle spray from the deep blue ocean.

What was life without some risk?

He knew firsthand that he had what it took to be a part of it all. So now he was left to bide his time, to close his current chapter. He would lead a secret life with expert duplicity.

The ocean was calling, and he intended to answer.

...

A/N: Wow when I tell you I cried?? I MEAN THAT! I last updated this work in 2021 I think which is inSANE... So much has happened, I finally got over my writer's block and ended my hiatus, you guys got back to back updates here on tumblr, and it was not a fluke guys. This chapter is not a fluke!! I'm not going to disappear because I've been planning this for years and there's so much more to come even in the last 4 chapters of this spinoff, let alone the rest of the series 😭 This chapter is, what, 17.5k??? And that's AFTER I split it??!! That should tell you all you need to know lol

A few quick notes: As always, I will recommend you read or re-read The Windy Road (Mingi's backstory) Chapter viii: Alone in conjunction with this and the next chapter of My Way, it'll make everything hit different, trust me. And if you want another punch to the feels, go read One to All Chapter 3: I Love My Desire and thereabouts for a refresher on that Babylon storyline if you've read the main series before coming here~

ANyway thanks so much if you're a reader who has stuck around and returned to this Treasure universe with me, it means sooo much more than you know, and if you're new, welcome aboard!! and I hope you decide to stay :) Don't forget to comment, reblog, all that good stuff to let me know what you thought and come scream with me about this story on twitter (I refuse to call it x) I know I have more to say, maybe you do too :,D

Thanks crew!!! See you soon <3

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[alpaca-clouds]

About Paris

Fandom: SK8 THE INFINITY

Shipping: MatchaBlossom

Genre: Smut & Humor

Length: 2351 words

Kaoru groaned, when Kojiro bumped into him once more. “You are drunk, oaf.”

“Justa bit tipsy,” Kojiro replied with a grin that showed exactly how tipsy he was.

They had found this really nice bar. (Well, technically it had been CARLA who had found it.) But even though Kojiro was a fucking chef, he had preferred to get drunk on a mix of beer and whiskey. He could still walk on his own – thank the gods! – but he was grinning like an idiot and his walking pattern was not entirely predictable.

He was also responsible for the fact they had lost their tickets for the day and were walking back to the hotel.

Another bump, making Kaoru turn to him. “Just walk two meters behind me, you big gorilla!”

“Oh, come on!” Kojiro put one arm around him, pulling him close. “It's not like your made from porcelain.”

“I still would prefer not to get bumped by a big idiot every ten meters!”

“You always tend to be so mean, Kaoru.”

“I am only telling the truth.” He was already massaging his temples again, once more wondering why he had even come along. For heaven's sake. Sure, visiting Paris was nice. Being invited to do so, was nicer. But what in all the realms had driven him to go here with him out of all people.

But… It was always like this, of course. They always ended up that way. Somehow. It happened in LA, in Tokyo, in Dublin and of course it was happening here again. It was only a matter of time before he somehow would have to save the other man's arse, after the big oaf got himself in trouble.

Kaoru was not drunk. He was the one who really was only tipsy. He had had two cocktails and that had been it. So he was walking a straight line, this time catching the idiot before he could bump into him again.

“Turn right at the next intersection,” CARLA commanded him, making him follow. It was still 2 more kilometers before they would get back to the hotel. Exhausting, really. But it would do. Kaoru just looked forward to lying down in his bed again.

Two more days, then they would take the plane, home.

“They say Paris is the city of love,” Kojiro muttered, looking up at the sky. This being a city the stars were well hidden behind the reflective glow of the street lights. “Yet, I have not yet had one time…”

Another groan that Kaoru could not help. “Yeah, it would probably help if you knew the language, right?”

“I know English.”

“And the French are so very well known for talking in other…” Kaoru stopped himself. Why was he even engaging with the topic. Just because the big oaf had been unable to get his fucking dick wet. Really, had they nor originally been here for some chef's conference and not…

Yeah, no, it was always the same with his gorilla friend. In the end it was always about girls and about sex – and to be frank, Kaoru would never quite get, why the girls were falling into the oaf's arms. Like, sure, he had a nice build, even Kaoru could admit that, but he also never made a secret out of the fact that he only ever wanted a short flirt and a fuck, nothing more. So, really, why would the women all fall for it? He didn't get it.

“I'm just saying. There's other tourists here, too. So, really, maybe we should…”

“We should nothing,” Kaoru protested. “If you can't help yourself, you can go out tomorrow and yet yourself to a nice touristy bar and then get laid. But I am planning to go to the Louvre and…”

Kojiro's face lit up. "There is tourists at the Louvre, right?"

“Oh my…” Kaoru groaned. “Yes, probably. Though I don't think they are out for…”

“I'm coming with you.”

“It's not like you would actually get art, though, dimwit.”

“What is there to get, egghead? It's just pretty pictures!”

“Art is so much more than pretty pictures. It is a meditation on life and the world we live in. It is…”

“Turn left at the next intersection,” CARLA cut into the conversation.

Kaoru just gave a scoff and accelerated his pace. The sooner they were back at the hotel, the better.

They were now near the Seine. He could smell that. He could smell the water. They would need to cross a bridge, as their hotel was on the other side of the river. And maybe…

He stopped. He had not even realized where CARLA was sending them, until he stepped out of the street onto a big plaza, where trees, bushes and grass were surrounding Paris' most famous monument, painted with a wide variety of strategically placed lights. The Eiffel Tower.

Even Kojiro noted, standing there looking at the monument. It was undeniably pretty.

Kaoru knew a bit about the structure. About the light show, too. Officially people were not even allowed to make photos of it, because the entire lighting was copyrighted, which almost seemed insane to him. Yet, there was clearly a lot of thought put into it.

“Man,” Kojiro said, “I really wanted to go here for a nice date. Get some ice cream maybe and then kiss a pretty girl…”

“And then get your dick wet…”

“Oh, come on, princess. I am a simple man but not that simple.”

“You are a gorilla, mostly driven by your fucking instincts.”

“That is not true. I can be soph- sopha- soph…” He started to stutter.

“Sophisticated,” Kaoru muttered, rolling his eyes. “You're drunk!”

The broad shoulders shrugged. “Maybe just a bit.” With that Kojiro moved onto the big plaza surrounding the giant monument. It was empty here right now. No wonder, given it was about 2 in the morning. It was nice, though. And yes, with a different companion this might've been romantic.

A sigh fought its way up Kaoru's throat. It was not as if he had had any romance. It was not as if there was no one having interest in him – there were plenty. But all those girls – and some boys – cared about was his pretty face. There was no one to talk to about art, about history or about the newest developments in AI technology.

Maybe it was his own fault. Maybe it was that he had too high standards.

A breeze from the Seine blew over the plaza, getting caught in Kaoru's hair, which he had to hold back to keep it out of his face.

Only when he turned, he found Kojiro staring at him. “What is it now, oaf?”

“I am just thinking again, that I would be totally into you if you were a girl.”

Kaoru could not help a scoff. “It had never stopped you in high school that I wasn't.”

“That was different.”

“How so?”

“It was…” Kojiro stopped himself. “It was nothing serious.”

“As those fucks you have with the girls now?” Kaoru could not hold his sarcasm back.

This comment was enough to leave the oaf dumbfounded. He starred at him for a long while. “Well…” He tried and yet was unable to find a good reply to it.

The silent grew on, quickly starting to get awkward, while another breath came over the place, some wind catching in the tower and whistling.

“Why did we even stop?” Kojiro asked.

“Because you went to Italy and came back the dumbest womanizer known to all of Okinawa!”

“Huh.”

Koaru just groaned once more and continued on his way. It was at least another kilometer until they would get to their hotel and he was quickly getting tired. Literally and figuratively. What he had not expected was for Kojiro to catch his hand and turn him around, pressing those lips against Kaoru's in a deep, demanding kiss, until Kaoru pushed him away.

“You are drunk!”

“Not that drunk.”

“Clearly that drunk!”

[As it gets steamy from here on out, you'll find the rest of the Fic on Ao3]

[sadiiomane10]

Demre part 2- basically more of why we should stop sleeping on emre x dejan

cus the first one has turned into a monster, and there’s still loads of quality content i need to show y’all. Get ready cus there is an overuse of the word bro but i regret nothing OK NO-t H I N G 

link to part 1  u should check it out just cus theres sm quality demre on there its unreal ;)

Lets get started Ok so

CAR DATES?!?!?!?! CAR DATES???? MOTHER FRICKING CAR DATES!!!!!!!!!!!! WHEN WILL UR FAVE , GET THOSE HAND CRAFTED FACES AWAY FROM ME, like look at me and my bro we go on car dates at night under the starlight, THE FRICKING STARLIGHT, only the best for my bro, ill give u the whole world bro, 

 this ship aint real and its more existent than my entire lovelife bye 

Do we even have to talk about this???? No, ok good, bc its just both of them being like my bro is hotter than urs, too each other, i cant talk about this BYE 

someone; name one moment that changed u forever 

me sitting in a rocking chair, blunt in hand; it was on a Tuesday Morning whilst watching Liverpool FC’s Tunnel Cam. When at preciously minute 5;12 This Happened. 

me;* looking into the distance * I have never been the same since.

UM JUST STOP OK ITS GETTING RIDICULOUS, leave me alone,

 a close up of the previous pic cus they look like angels,

stop pointing at each other we get it ok u love him, u love him and hes ur best mate, we get it now stop, gosh guys, we know ok we know u love each other, stop shoving it in our faces, we GET IT 

this is just too angelic to leave out, plus bonus phil so yall cant complain its a rule

plus these hoes out here celebrating goals together,  better put ur arm round his neck, tell the world ur bro scored, let them all know, let them knowwwww, let them seeee

bros who score together stay together *wink wink nudge nudge*  why am i hoe idk

Cash me in the Air Bro, how bou dat,- did i include this picture to say that horrible line????? yes sir i did, feel free to block me rn 

THIS HAPPENED , DO I HAVE A HEARTBEAT???? NO SIR I DO NOT 

THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF 

‘bro hold this

bro this is ur hand

bro ikno 

like u cant convince me other wise

hold his hand and never let go, the world might forget that u love him, and that is illegal

these two are the personification of all those bro posts, u know I’m right,  gosh i dont even have words, feel free to come and scream at me 

also im writing this from beyond the grave, good fucking bye , ghosts are real, i am blessed, see ya 

((all gifs used are NOT mine credit to all owners, i dont take any claim for them))

[niqhtlord01]

Humans are weird: Hope for the future

( Don’t forget to come see my on my new patreon and support me for early access to stories and personal story requests :D https://www.patreon.com/NiqhtLord )        

The planet Alia near the edge of human territory and had grown from it's species first colony outside of their home system of a sparse few settlers to a thriving metropolis of millions.

The shinning spires of metal and glass of the planet's mega cities pierced the skies like the hand of an angry god reaching out to the heavens and the wealth and prosperity that flowed from it's vast trade network and supported the outlying colonies for further expansion. Yet for all their wealth and prosperity the fate that had been decided for this world was something that could not be changed.

A massive seismic event occurred on Alia shortly after it's new year celebration. The planet's tectonic plates became highly volatile and a series of growing earthquakes began triggering around the globe. Within a week of the events triggering a massive shattering happened and the plates shifted violently without warning.

Oceans swelled and receded, mountains crumbled and volcanos detonated, rivers changed direction and howling winds ripped across the lands so intense it shredded flesh from the bone of any foolish unfortunate enough to be caught in the open. Countless buildings shook and toppled and thousands if not hundreds of thousands died in the ensuing chaos as entire cities were swallowed beneath the cold surface of the planet.    

Communication with Alia was lost and though the rest of the wider galaxy was unable to establish contact their response was already put into motion.

The human governing body organized a massive relief effort and was further bolstered by neighboring alien domains that shared trade with Alia and had heard of the travesty. Before the tectonic plates had even stopped shifting a fleet of relief ships from a dozen worlds was already enroute.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Dust slid off the toppled column like a waterfall as Uto lifted it. The Vorka's muscles straining and bulging as he used all of his strength hefted the massive concrete pillar. His breathing calm and measured as he breathed in rhythm with his lifting. He lifted the mass over his head and in a single motion cast it aside with a deafening *THUMP!*  

When the dust settled aide workers rushed passed Uto and cleared the rubble that had been underneath the column and in short order a door was revealed. Uto bent down and punched his fist through the metal door and ripped it off it's hinges. A dozen pairs of eyes looked up at him as he removed the door from his arm and dropped it harmlessly to the ground before gently extending a hand down. One of the people in the shelter took his hand and he carefully lifted them out into the open.

"Res ease, hue-mn." Uto struggled with human language, his tongues struggling to form the correct words.

He set the human, a scrawny female Uto wagered, to the ground. She looked up at him with a mixture of emotions dancing across her face before throwing her arms around Uto and hugging him. Uto stood transfixed as the female wept and thanked him over and over as the other rescue workers began lifting the remaining survivors from the shelter.

Unsure how to react Uto stood still for several moments before one of the rescue workers took the still sobbing woman away with the remaining survivors. Uto watched the frail female leave before turning his gaze back across the now ruins of the capital city.

Numerous fires still burned across the entire metropolis; some scattered around the ground while others burned high up in the few remaining sky scrapers that had not toppled during the quake. Roadways were cluttered with thick dunes of debris ranging from metal beams to massive chunks of concrete turning the landscape into some horrid nightmare forest.

Portions of the city's sea wall had broken and sections of the city itself had drifted into the ocean. Sky scrapers that once stood over 300 stories tall now appeared as nothing more than tiny isles just breaking the waterline.  

Though he kept his thoughts to himself, Uto was amazed by the level of devastation nature still could have on modern civilizations.

He stood their for several minutes taking in the catastrophe before heading back and resuming the rescue work. ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Several long hours passed with further rescue efforts across the entire city before their overseer called for a crew change and Uto's team began heading back to their hospital ship to rest.

If the shattered city was unpleasant to look at at during the day it was terrifying to look at at night. Nearly all of the power grid sections had been destroyed leaving the vast roadways shrouded in a darkness so thick it felt as if Uto could reach out and grab hold of a chunk of it.

His team was murmuring among themselves with Uto only half paying attention to their conversation when he spotted something down a side street between two toppled buildings. A single light was waving back and forth slowly from beyond the darkness like a beacon of old warning wayward travelers.

Uto held up a hand and pointed to the light and his team stopped and followed his direction.

"Another survivor?"

"Out here? Wasn't this area already swept?"

"Maybe they missed one."

The rescue team debated among themselves before Uto sighed and began walking towards life.

"No mazer," Uto spoke, "we help all."

With that the rest of the rescue team began following after Uto.

As the team came closer to the light they were able to better make out the surrounding area. The weak light appeared to be a lantern hanging from a wooden pole hanging from a small building at the end of the side street. A tiny structure with half it's walls caved in but the remaining structure appearing sturdy enough to support the roof.

"You smell something?" one of the rescue workers said quietly.

Uto sniffed the air and realized there was indeed a strange smell in the air that did not belong in such a wasteland.

"I'd recognize that smell anywhere." Another of the rescue workers spoke before pushing their way forward.

Uto made to grab him fearing the way ahead was unstable but they were too fast and they were already making their way inside through the broken wall section before shouting "Everyone, get in here!"

At that Uto and the other rushed forward expecting the worst but were confounded once they entered the building.

Rather than the gutted remains they had expected the inside of the building was semi clean and well lit. The worker who had rushed forward was sitting at a table on the opposite side of the room with another human handing him a steaming bowl. At seeing the other workers they raised their hand with the bowl to show them.

"It's a ramen store!"

While the word was unknown to Uto it seemed familiar to the others who then in turn piled in and began sitting down at what tables still stood. The man behind the counter appeared to be an elderly human but moved as if the years had only effected his exterior rather than his reflexes and soon there was a warm bowl of ramen for everyone present.

Uto stepped towards the counter and two of his team members parted to allow him a seat. As he took it the old man handed him a bowl.

"For your hard work." the man said as he smiled.

Uto looked at the bowl then at his team. All of them were eagerly eating and the mood was one of joy and comradery; a steep contrast to the dread they had been dealing with as they sifted through the remains of the city.

"Ssank ou." Uto muttered as he began sampling the contents of his bowl. It was a flush of flavor the likes Uto had not had since he was on his homeworld. Warm and delicious, almost disarming in it's nature to such a degree that when Uto looked up and for a moment felt as if he wasn't in the ruins of a once proud city.

When Uto finished his bowl and set it down the elderly man was ready and handed him another.

"Why ssssay here?" Uto asked the man, now curious about this human living alone.

The elderly man waved a hand around the building as he continued cooking. "This restaurant  has been in my family for three generations now; I could no more leave it than I could chop off my own arm."

Uto looked back at the ruined walls and roof as portions of the shingles slid off and shattered to the ground. "I am sorry is ruined." To his surprise the elder man chuckled.

"It is not ruined, only broken."

The man must have saw the confusion on Uto's face and he continued. "In my culture when something has been broken it is, like a vase or cup, it is not thrown away and discarded but instead mended with gold to heal the wounds and restore it."

Uto shook his head at the man's remarks. "Iz confusing."

"Is it?" The old man pointed to Uto's arms. "You are covered in cracks and scars yourself, yet you did not resign yourself to languish in the trash and be forgotten."

The man handed out several more bowls before fully turning to Uto. "This city has been broken and many have been lost, the wounds are fresh and feel as if they will never heal again; but in time the city will rebuild and the streets will once again be filled with the sounds of joy once more."

"Ruins are only made when those who remain are unwilling to rebuild what was lost."

Uto pondered the man's words and again looked at his team as they mingled. Their faces were filled with joy and hope he did not think any would have after witnessing such devastation first hand.  

"Ou are very wize." Uto tilted his head in acknowledgement to the old man who seemed to blush slightly and laugh.

He sheepishly waved to the store again. "It comes with owning a ramen shop." He leaned in close and whispered "All the best ones have sage advice; it makes the food taste better."

The two laughed and sat the night away, a tiny corner of joy in a city though broken, would never be defeated.

[writingmanaged]

So I just recently found your blog- and I absolutely love it! 💕✨ Could you please do a Jem Carstairs x fem reader scenario where Jem and the reader has been dating for a while in secret, but Will eventually finds out and teases them for it? Please and thank you 💕✨

A/N: Thank you so much, you are so sweet! I love the idea, I had so much fun writing it!

Fandom: The Infernal Devices (Shadowhunter Chronicles)

Ship: Jem Carstairs x Reader

Type: Fluff

Words: 1,511

Secret (Jem Carstairs x Reader)

It was a quiet day in the institute... And of course, the past tense was used very rightfully. Silence didn't quiet suit the London Institute. And that was alright. The shadowhunters who lived there couldn't have it any way differently and neither could Y/n.

Y/n was filled with happiness over the past month. You would too if the guy you were in love with for years had asked you out. She had yet to believe it. She woke up everyday thinking I'm going to see my crush again today. And then she would giggle to herself, as she had to correct the thought by replacing crush with escort.

But they kept quiet about it. She had no idea why. Jem hadn't really asked for it. But the day after he asked her, they had both been very quiet during breakfast and so they reached the conclusion it was a secret. She had always wondered if he had told anyone about this. Of course, one particular person came to her mind. His parabatai, Will Herondale. She thought he probably knew even before she did. Parabatai didn't keep secrets from each other. She knew she wouldn't if she had one.

She went to the kitchen and made breakfast for the both of them. She smiled at the thought of bringing him breakfast in bed. She was glad Sophie wasn't there. She said she would shop for ingredients for scones. Y/n felt nervous around her. It seemed Sophie could see the hidden meaning behind every single one of her smiles.

She placed the scones on the tray and saw Church the cat, who favoured Jem as much as Y/n did, staring at her. "Oh don't look at me like that. I didn't share his bed, I was in my room the entire night!" She blushed. She knew the cat's thoughts were probably something like this food better be for me but she knew if a human knew what she was doing, that would be their question.

She quickly ran up the stairs, her feet being as light as Church's, and quietly opened the door to Jem's bedroom. It was still dark with only a few rays of sunlight coming in through the slides the curtains did not cover.

Jem looked like a literal angel, like the one who's blood he shared, but even more pure. Y/n felt so lucky to have the right to call that man her own, even if she didn't dare to do so out loud. She quietly sat beside him on the bed and placed the tray on it. But Jem, being a light sleeper, slowly opened his silvery eyes. "Y/n?" He mumbled her name in a still sleepy tone, and to her it was the most melodic sound in the world.

"Good morning, Jem. I'm so sorry to wake you up. But I thought of making you breakfast." She smiled gently and Jem's face lit up. "Oh dear, you are simply the sweetest." He told her. He placed the tray a little bit further away, where there would be no danger of it breaking and gently took her arm. He pulled her down, so that she fell right into his arms.

"Won't you look at that? I fell for you. Again." She chuckled and Jem laughed gently. He stroke her hair and rubbed her back in circles. She stared at his gorgeous face. It was perfect, every single aspect of it. But at the moment she was focused on one part of it.

Those light pink lips. Jem had already kissed her ones and it was the most beautiful moment in her entire life. She was sure that if heaven ever came to earth, it was during that one kissing. They were in his favourite spot in London, a bridge. He had brought her there for a walk and after confessing his feelings he gave her the most passionate kiss in the world.

Perhaps it was egoistical, but she wanted to taste it again. "What is it? What are you thinking?" She heard the angel's voice speak. But she could not answer with words. All she could do was connect their lips. There it was again, she was back to heaven with her guardian angel.

The kiss was deep but gentle. At first she was leading but he soon let all his being melt into the kiss. He placed his hand on her cheek as he continued to kiss her with all his might. His other hand was gently on her back, on the very spot it had to be for her dress to be off, but he didn't dare make a move.

She was about the break the kiss and tell him to continue, when she heard a whistle from the doorframe and they both departed. Right there, under the wooden doorframe, stood Will Herondale with the most stupid grin on his face. "My, my, James. When we were sharing our news yesterday you forgot to mention that. Unless it was an one time unplanned thing of course, in which case I am very surprised and maybe slightly proud."

The nerving assole!! How dare he speak like that of you? Your fiance's parabatai truly had a way to anger you with his mere greeting. "Of course not." Jem spoke up calmly as he sat up on his bed and held your hand. "I am sorry I didn't tell you any earlier. But I would really appreciate it if you didn't speak like this of my fiance."

Will's grin disappeared and he blinked. "Fiance?" Remember how Y/n was earlier wondering if Will knew? At least she got her answer now. She cleared her throat and stood up. "Um... I should go. Jessamine told me to go by her room. So uh... See you! The breakfast is still warm so eat. Farewell!" She said quickly and raced out of the room in embarrasment. Farewell, really Y/n?

The rest of her morning moved smoothly. She trained with Charlotte and had a lovely chat with Jessamine. During both, she was was thinking about Jem Carstairs and Jem Carstairs only. And during both, she did not dare utter a word about him.

At lunch time, the parabatai pair joined them last. Jem's face was decorated with a magnificent smile as soon as he saw you and Will was wearing his usual asshole smirk. Thankfully, it fitted with all of his outfits.

Jem sat beside you and held your hand. "Hello, darling. How was your day?" He asked you and everyone looked over to your seats in surprise. Will's face had never been so mischievous. "Yes my fellow shadowhunters and not" He pointed at Sophie at the end who gave him a rude gesture. "Our dear James and Y/n are engaged! They have been for a month in secret, the sneaky beings."

Y/n blushed but she couldn't do anything but awkwardly smile. Soon everyone was at them, hugging them and congratulating them. Everyone but Will, but Y/n supposed it was because he had already congratulated Jem earlier.

Will was smiling during the whole evening that they spend talking about the two of them. And yet Y/n could see him looked at them melancholically when he thought nobody was looking, and even glaring at them at times. He even threw a couple of sarcastic comments, though not as rude as they usually were.

When everyone went to sleep, Jem held Y/n's hand and they had a nightly walk around the institute. Jem was saying something about how beautiful the stars were and talking about how she was his own star. And while it was really sweet, her mind was somewhere else.

"Hey Jem?"

"Yes, sweetie?"

"Is Will okay? He didn't seem himself today." She asked him, her voice showing some serious concern.

"between us, I doubt Will is ever himself." Jem answered generally, something he did rather often.

"Yes but today it seemed as if he hated me. More than usual." She managed a fake laugh.

"He doesn't hate you... Look, Will is complicated. But as for today... I think he was jealous."

Y/n laughed at that. "What? You think he was in love with me?"

"I'd hope not." Jem replied honestly. He thought Y/n was so lovable that it was never an unlikely option. "He is jealous of how close you are in my heart. It's as close as he is. That's all. You know like a child when they have a new brother or sister and are jealous of the attention they get from their parents. He'll get over it. Eventually."

"So eventually..." She used his exact word. "He will stop teasing me?"

The cold breeze of the London night flew between them. Jem took off his coat and placed it over her shoulders, wrapping his arm around her, bringing her as close to his body as possible while they continued to walk. "Oh, dear, the teasing will never stop. In fact, it'll be even more intense once he gets to know you and like you."

[folklord]

happier

din djarin x female reader

notes: ohh guys, this is my first time writing for #WriterWednesday, @autumnleaves1991-blog project. I'm very very nervous about it, but here we go!

warnings: mentions of sex, angst (thats the only think I can write. yes I know I should go to therapy) | word count: 1036

Din couldn't believe how he still remembered every detail of the months he spent with you.

He remembered when he met you in the suburbs of Navarro, with your dirty dress and messy hair. There was nothing to indicate that you were the Lord's daughter that Greef commented, especially the way you fought so well for your defense, threatening even him. You dared to try to fight him, the best bounty hunter in the galaxy, and he was impressed. But when Din explained what was going on and took you to Razor Crest, the surprises didn't end, because every second he was surprised by a new piece of you that suddenly, became familiar.

He couldn't forget, especially, the way your eyes lit up when he entered hyperspace, and how you seemed to have never seen that, leaning over, smiling, scared, admired. He came to see more exceptional beauty in the details so common in everyday life after meeting you.

But if there's something he doesn't remember, it's how he came to want you more than anything in the universe. And how did you, so seemingly natural, accept him and understood his feelings. He doesn't remember how he talked to you and asked for your consent, not even how he explained how the Mandalorian way worked. But he remembers very well to blindfold your eyes and lay you on the floor of his ship... and everything that happened afterward.

If he tried hard enough, he could still taste you on the tip of his tongue.

And your body... how could he forget? No star or sun that he has seen in his entire life has come close to the beauty of your curves. You surrendered, you gave yourself to him in every way, and you wiggled with pleasure beneath his body. He couldn't forget the marks you left on his biceps and back when he reached your magnificent spot with the fingerprints and you couldn't help but come apart in his hands.

For nights and nights you were one. There was not a time, in those months, that you were not connected - not just physically. Din found himself for the first time comfortable with someone else. He was comfortable even when you noticed uncomfortable things, such as:

“You are so free, but at the same time you are trapped in an armor of creeds”

And in this thread that connected you both, he found the courage to question your relationship with your father. That was when you said you were promised to another man, and when he found you, you were running away.

Din remembers feeling his heartache. The pain was familiar, but the reason was unprecedented, and he couldn't help saying,

"You see it with your own eyes, but you're not free either"

That's when he decided to expand the path just to have more time with you. And he remembers how each moment from its revelation seemed smaller, insufficient. Each orgasm you had did not seem to end the accumulated pleasure within you, and it never seemed to run out. Even when his heart was racing, your legs were shaking and your mouths were asking for water, he still thought: “we need to continue because one day it will be missed”. And when you were sore but wrapped your legs in his anyway, he knew you felt the same way.

The most absurd day to forget was when you arrived at your home. He remembers seeing the joy of comfort in your eyes, but even so, he couldn't feel well.

Din remembers that when you arrived in the gardens of your house, you tried to show him every detail as if all of that was also an extension of you. He remembers how happy you were to see the rustic structure, the hanging garden, and the portion of water so blue that it reflected on his helmet. You told him you spent there on sunny afternoons, bathing in the clear waters, just relaxing. And when you were immersed in water, when you didn't see or hear anything, for you it was finding the heavens. It was seconds of refuge.

He remembers how terrified you were when you saw your father's figure and when you lowered your head, hearing his rude words. And how he turned into a nice figure by thanking Din and saying he would get his payment.

But he does not forget the moment when your father left and you asked what he thought of your house with teary eyes, and he said:

“It is beautiful. But the galaxy is full of even more fascinating places... of creatures to be discovered, of suns and moons of different colors, of suffocatingly beautiful seas and deserts ... ”

It was the last thing he said before taking the reward and leaving, as it should be. His last memory was you smiling among tears.

And now Din had lost everything. The ship you both made love to, the child you would have loved to know, the creed he explained to you before you had sex for the first time.

The last rumor he heard was that you had the most luxurious wedding possible.

And he truly hoped that the man you married would be a good, nobleman, an admirable warrior. That he knew how to touch you the way you deserve, knew how you shiver when someone rubs the back of your neck, let you be laughing until your belly hurts. Din hoped he was giving you safety, jewelry, and children, why not?

But shit, how he wanted you to be having flashbacks too, that you compared every act of him to the way that Din treated you. That you could see his body while wondering what Din's would be like, and that you would touch him with hunger but not enough to leave marks. That you may feel love and butterflies in your stomach every time you see him, but don't forget the feeling of having Din's face between your legs.

That you were okay, but not enough to forget what you guys lived through. As much as it was a selfish opinion, Din couldn't help thinking that he wanted you to be happy, but not happier.

[bookersebastien]

the little mermaid!au with quynh as ariel and andy as her princess (if you imagined the other way around it's cool too, i just think i need to send an ask to make you write). ily don't hate me 🥰

(asjkdsa i could never hate you, but i love how you send this to make me write it, a loving push if you will. but yes andy is the princess quynh saves for this ficlet, enjoy my love ����)

the ocean cannot have you

She remembered the nights she used to come to the surface as a child, giggling with her sisters and making up stories about the constellations, telling strange tales about the humans that roamed the seas in their ships. It was all jokes then, about how they so desperately wished to travel the ocean yet with their legs it was impossible; Quynh felt a kinship with them, though she instead wished for legs of her own to explore the lands she’s only heard rumors about. 

Tonight she made her way to the surface again, her insatiable curiosity as a child had only grown and she made time to observe humans any chance she could, even if that meant skipping out on a few hours sleep. The water was cool and dark around her, comforting yet sometimes it felt as if the currents were pulling her back, ghosts of drowned sailors trying desperately to keep her in the depths, but the fresh air once she broke the surface was well worth any sleep she might be missing. 

The stars were bright tonight, not a cloud in sight, a smattering of diamonds scattered across a sky as dark as the sea itself; a shining, yet distorted, reflection, a world she knew and the one she wanted to get to know. 

It was a rare sight to see ships, she’d spent many nights, and what little daytime hours she could sneak away, waiting and watching the horizon for even the slightest peek at passing boats, the sight of their sails rippling in the wind always tugging at her sense of adventure, begging to be set free upon the world, face tilted up at the sun and feet on the ground. 

So tonight she counted herself lucky when a grand ship floated into view, the deck lit up with the soft glow of lanterns, the sound of voices and music carrying across the calm waters, the high tempoed beat accompanied by shouting and the rousing stomping of feet. She gazed up in wonder as it grew closer, eyes transfixed by the way the humans moved along the deck with ease, feet allowing them to hop and twist along to the music, she could see the instruments being played, things with strings whose sounds were earthy and bright, resonating deeply in the crisp air.

Cautiously she slipped closer, every warning about humans gone from her mind as she moved, utterly bewitched by the sight, the sailors faces plastered with wide grins and red cheeks as drinks were passed around, everyone taking large swigs from the bottles, not a glass in sight. Her eyes darted over to the corner of the ship, where a strange pile of objects lay and just as she wanted to move closer, a sailor came running over and picked up the bundle in his arms, words too slurred to make out from where she clung to the ship. 

Propping them up along the bow, she had only a second to peruse through some theories before a booming sound shattered the joyful noise of the party. She dove under the water, eyes wide and fingers clutching at the wood of the ship so hard she felt it scrape at her fingertips, her breath coming in short gasps until she glanced up, seeing the sky lit up in dozens of different colors spraying across the sky, no longer dark but now bright and vibrant. She had to cover her mouth to stifle the giggle that rose from her throat, watching on with glee as the colors reflected back onto the water, blending together with the soft movement of the waves.

She peered back at the sailors, finding her excitement nearly matched as they cheered, holding up their drinks, that then sloshed onto the deck, but none of them seemed to care. It was a moment before she realized it wasn’t the display of colors they were cheering, but instead a person who emerged from amidst the group, joining in on the revelry and Quynh suddenly felt as if the earth had stopped moving. 

The sight of the women before her caused her heart to flutter in her chest, a noiseless gasp escaping her lips. She was magnificent. She moved amongst the sailors with such an easy familiarity, dressed in slim black pants and a white shirt, that she could almost be mistaken for one of them, but it was her posture that gave her away. Quynh recognized the straight line of her shoulders and the slightest raise of her chin, she wore no clothing that revealed it, but Quynh knew she had to be royalty. And looking like that, she’d be hard pressed to find someone who disagreed. 

Her movements commanded every bit of Quynh’s attention, soft yet purposeful strides that took her across the deck, swiping a bottle from the hand of a sailor who was swaying on his feet and without missing a beat, tilting her head back and belting along to the next song the musicians started up. 

However, it was her eyes that had Quynh frozen in awe, lips parting slightly as she stared at their brilliant blue, putting any blue sky to shame the way they sparkled in the warm light. They held so much life, it was almost as if the entire sea itself was condensed into them, like the depths of the ocean, beckoning her into them, and Quynh had no desire to fight it.

She watched as she ran to bow, face painted with unreserved happiness, laughing into the wind with arms spread wide. Her reverie cut short as an older man rushed over to her, careful to pull her back from the edge with a disapproving glance, whispering something that made her pull a face at him before laughing and moving to grab hold of the ropes tied to the edge of the ship. Right next to where Quynh was hiding.

“Princess.” He sighed when she didn’t respond. “Andromache,” the man pleaded, “please be more careful.”

“Nothing is going to happen Charles, I just like the feeling of the ocean breeze.” She lifted her head then again, eyes closing while she took a deep breath and exhaled with a wild smile on her lips.

“Your father will not be happy that you didn’t take a liking to the prince.” His voice was more firm, but he made no move to grab her from the railing.

“Love cannot be forced.”

“Well it’s not always love that makes a marriage, you know.”

She looked back at him now, an unreadable expression in her eyes, before casting her glance back out to the sea; it was like she could see the very edge of the earth from where she was perched. “For me it is.”

Before he could say anymore, a flash of lightning shot across the sky followed by an angry burst of thunder that shook the entire sky. The ship trembling under Quynh’s fingers. It was barely a second before the full force of the sudden storm manifested itself on top of them, churning the dark waters, swirling dangerously and crashing against the ship with loud thuds.

Rippling in the wind, the sails flickered and snapped against the air, the crew scrambling to take them down, a sudden burst of sobriety overcoming them at the impending danger. She could do little but watch as the rain burst forth from the heavens, dark clouds releasing a torrent upon them, so heavy she could barely see in front of her. Everyone packed down supplies and took their spots across the ship, looking every bit like hardened sailors, faces moments ago laughing and singing now held determined stares and clenched jaws.. 

Andromache herself moved to the wheel, face hardened with a fierce determination as she gripped it tight and held it as steady as she could, her shirt soaked through and dark hair matted against her pale skin, arms straining with the effort to keep the ship upright. She stood tall against the wind, the look in her eyes could almost command the storm had she so desired, but in the end she was no match as a huge swell cascaded over the deck, dragging them off the ship with deadly swiftness, the boat groaning as it slowly tipped over into the water. Their screams cut off by the sounds of their bodies hitting the surface.

Quynh was thrown off the ship as it fell, hands scrabbling uselessly against the wood before she found herself underwater, watching as pieces from the ship hit the water around her; jagged pieces of wood and rope tangled together. Everything moved in slow motion for a moment, the debris sinking slowly into the ocean depths while she saw the crew members drag themselves to the surface, clinging to the pieces that managed to stay afloat, some scrambling into a small lifeboat a little ways away from her. 

The princess was nowhere to be seen among those resurfacing, and the pained expressions on the sailors faces as their eyes scanned the water in the darkness confirmed her fear. She was still under.

Plunging under once again, she swam closer to where the ship was rapidly taking on water, suddenly reminded of an old ship wreck she’d explored years before. Everything had been taken over by kelps and corals, it was no longer a ship, it didn’t hold the same sense of anguish that swimming through this wreckage did; the way darkness curled around it, it felt more like a graveyard than a ship.

The lightning was still visible from this far down, it reflected off the occasional bottle or scrap of metal each time it struck, flashing in the peripherals of her vision. Her stomach twisted as she pushed away debris after debris, movements becoming frantic, her body protesting as she pushed herself faster and harder through the wreckage, desperation growing until she finally saw it. 

Bright white, the sail was hard to miss, rippling and dancing along the currents, it would almost be beautiful if it wasn’t the thing dragging the princess to her death. Her face was deathly pale, eyes closed while the fabric pulled at her body like the hands of a vengeful ghost, determined for others to share the same fate at the bottom of the ocean.

Urging herself further, she carefully unwraps the canvas from her limbs, heart skipping a beat as her fingers brush over the skin of her neck, smooth and ice cold to the touch. Taking a deep breath, she ignores how her body feels against her as she winds her arms around her waist, hand clutched to the back of her head, threading faintly through the black strands, speeding towards the pale light that followed the now retreating storm. 

Quynh wanted so badly to stop, to tell the princess not to worry, that she would be okay, but with the way she hung nearly lifeless in her arms she knew she had to keep going, praying silently to every god she could think of, hoping the ocean could show its mercy this time. 

Time passed in a blur and soon a beach came into view, the warm colors of the sand a welcome break in the blue gloom that had settled in the sky, and she nearly cried in relief at the sight, gritting her teeth and pushing herself faster, ignoring how the princess’s clothes were weighed down by the water, instead just clutching her tighter and hoping she was fast enough. 

The sand was smooth under her fingers as they gently released the princess to the ground, rolling her onto her back. She tucked her tail underneath her, hands hovering in the air over her face, unsure what to do now that they’d reached land, chest tightening as she watched for any signs of life, soon finding herself admiring the sharp angle of her cheekbones and the fullness of her lips, the color slowly coming back with the return of the sun, the clouds now chasing the horizon line, the storm nothing but a distant haze in the sky. 

Everything was quiet, save for the sound of waves gently lapping against the shore and the sound of Quynh’s blood pumping in her ears, so loud she couldn’t even be sure she was hearing the waves at all. 

A startled shout left her lips when she saw the faintest rise of her chest, pressing her ear quickly against her and letting out a loud breath. Her heartbeat was there, soft and slow, fighting it’s way back and Quynh felt like she could finally breathe, letting her own heartbeat slow in time with the princesses. And for the first time she finally realized how long it had been since she’d left her home, her family was probably worried, the morning sky a pale blue, but she couldn’t bring herself to leave, not as she watched the princess, her hand trailing slowly along her cheek, admiring the slight movement of her eyelashes at her touch.

She leaned in closer, her words barely there as the breeze seemed to steal them from her lips. 

“Andromache,” she tested the taste of her name on her lips, reveling in the way it felt on her tongue, like honey and home, powerful like the sea but warm like the sand beneath her; it was almost like it belonged in her mouth, fated to speak it in this life or the next.

And just like that, her eyelids fluttered open, a brilliant flash of blue before she blinked the salt from her eyes, chest heaving as she took her first, full deep breaths. Quynh wanted so badly to rush closer, let her know the extent of her joy that she was okay, but quickly remembered herself and instead used the moment to slip back into the water, already missing the feeling of the warm breeze on her skin, the cold of the ocean not as refreshing as it once was. Now it stung, a reminder of what she couldn’t have.

She watched from a good distance away as a group of sailors, many of them she recognized as members of the sinking ship, rushed down the beach, screaming and shouting as they enveloped the princess in blankets, pulling her carefully to her feet. 

Just as she was propped up, the princess’s gaze once again found the horizon and Quynh dared to dream it was her she was looking for, and as she swam back into the depths she couldn’t help but wish it was her eyes she was lost in instead.

[madasthesea]

“What is a Build-a-Bear?” Nebula's rasping voice framed the words like they were a foreign language, careful and slow.

Tony blinked at her. He was still in the Medbay, slowly recovering from starvation, oxygen deprivation, and the last of his stab wound. The time between getting off the ship and waking up here was blurry. Nebula, who had suffered from hunger much less than Tony, had come to visit him while Captain Danvers and the raccoon prepared their ship to go find Thanos.

“What?” he croaked.

“You called Rocket a Build-a-Bear.”

He didn't remember doing that, but it sounded like him.

“Oh. It's a stuffed animal,” Tony explained listlessly, picking at his blanket. “It's for kids.”

 Peter's room was a mishmash of Lego figurines, science apparatus, and second-hand furniture. Tony glanced around, taking it in. The last time he'd been here recruiting the kid, the space had been much more bare. He smirked as he saw the Star Wars spaceships, but it turned into a wicked grin when he caught sight of a red and gold stuffed animal.

“Kid, what is that?”

Peter looked around from where he'd been rummaging in his desk for his spare webshooter. He saw where Tony was looking and his cheeks immediately flushed.

“Um. A… birthday present.”

Tony reached out and picked it up. The little bear had gold Iron Man masks all over his crimson fur and was wearing a shirt and pants that looked like the Iron Man armor, complete with a tiny glowing arc reactor and a cloth mask.

“It looks new,” he remarked casually.

“It isn't!” Peter hurriedly assured him, rushing over and trying to snag it from Tony's hands. Tony pulled it closer to his chest, raising an eyebrow at Peter.

“Don't get grabby, Parker,” he chided. “Now, come here, we're taking a selfie.”

“You give these slain creatures to your children?” Nebula asked. Her voice and face were as emotionless as ever, but there was something like disgust in the tilt of her head.

Tony, jerked out of his thoughts, took a second to catch up.

“What? No! Geez, no. They're not real animals, they're made of cloth.”

“Cloth,” Nebula repeated, sounding dubious.

“Yeah.” He hesitated for a second. “Come here, I'll show you.”

He reached over to the bedside table, where he'd slammed his phone down half a second after Rhodey gave it to him. He'd taken a single glance at the lock screen photo—one of Peter with engine grease all over his face, the car he and Tony had restored together barely visible in the background—and promptly hyperventilated until he passed out. He hadn't touched the phone since, and his hands shook as he reached for it now.

He swallowed hard, unlocking his phone and carefully not looking at his background picture—this one of him, Peter, and Pepper all asleep on the couch. He opened his camera gallery and quickly scrolled through the file of photos of Peter, trying not to see any of them, any of the hundreds of memories that would forever more be nothing but agonizing reminders of his own failure.

He overshot the one he was looking for and had to go back, but finally he pulled up a picture of Peter's Iron Man Build-a-Bear, his own hand holding it up to the camera.

Nebula crowded around the head of the bed, peering down at the screen. She looked at it critically for a second, glancing between it and Tony.

“What is it's function?” She finally asked.

“Kids cuddle with them,” Tony replied. She looked confused. “You know, hug them?”

Nebula shook her head.

“Oh geez. Um. Like, like this.” Finger hesitating for a second, Tony swiped to the next picture. His breath stuttered in his lungs.

Beaming up at him from the screen was the ghost of Peter Parker, bright and young and perfect. The teddy bear was tucked under his chin and his cheeks still faintly pink with embarrassment. Tony had had to make a really stupid “dad joke" to even get Peter to smile. In the picture they'd taken together, Peter was mid eye-roll.

Tony's thumb hovered over the image as if about to caress the boy's face. He could feel Nebula looking at him, knew she recognized Peter as the kid that had died in Tony's arms. And even if she hadn’t, she still would have known—she was the one that had heard him screaming Peter’s name in his sleep, whispering apologies to the Peter he hallucinated once the infection took hold.

“Why do they… cuddle them?” Nebula made a face at the word and Tony snorted, still staring at his screen.

“Us humans do that. We, um, need physical contact.”

  Tony woke up to the hazy awareness that came with heavy medication. He remembered the entire fight, this time, and groaned quietly. His injuries would take forever to heal, his busted knee would probably ache for the rest of his life. Getting old sucked. But taking the brunt of the damage was worth it as long Peter got to grow old, too.

Speaking of Peter, Tony felt a suspiciously Peter-shaped weight against his side. He peeled an eye open and, sure enough, Peter was tucked up against him, his arm over Tony's stomach.

“Kid,” Tony groaned. Peter looked up at him, a nasty bruise on his temple.

“Mr. Stark.”

“What are you doing here?” Tony asked, fighting the pull of medication trying to make him fall asleep again.

“Human contact helps dull pain,” Peter told him. He pressed himself a little closer. “Is it working?”

“Better than morphine,” Tony said drily. Peter made an aggravated noise at his sarcasm.

“I'm trying to help,” Peter whispered.

Tony sighed, shifting a little so that Peter's head was nestled more comfortably against his shoulder.

“You know you don't have to feel guilty, buddy. You really don't.”

“And you know that I do anyway, so just let me…” Peter trailed off.

“Let you cuddle me?”

Peter nodded shyly.

“It's the only thing I can do for you right now.”

Tony closed his eyes. This kid.

“Eases pain, you say?”

“And helps you sleep,” Peter added, his own words getting thicker as he started to doze against Tony’s chest.

Tony ducked his head and lightly kissed Peter's bruised temple.

“Well, heaven knows I could use some of that.”

 Tony jerked himself out of his own thoughts this time. The picture of Peter was blurry now, and Tony blinked hurriedly to dispel the tears.

“Do you… don’t alien kids have something like that?” he asked.

Nebula's dark eyes stared at him for a long moment.

“I don't know.”

Right. Suckiest dad in the universe.

“Tell you what, when I'm up and moving again, and you're back from your space adventure, we'll go get you one.”

Nebula worked her jaw for a moment, like she was going to argue, but her eyes betrayed curiosity and a little bit of excitement in her gaze.

“Fine.”

  Marching up to a Build-a-Bear after the end of the world with an ex-homicidal blue alien was pretty high up on Tony's list of ‘weirdest things I’ve ever done,’ but he glared at the shop attendant that cowered behind the counter as if it was totally normal.

He'd been a little surprised the place was still open, actually. Plenty of stores had had to close their doors after the Snap, too short staffed or without managers and owners.

This was the same store he'd come to with Peter. It still smelled the same. The memory punched the air out of his lungs.

  “Keep your eyes closed, Pete.”

Peter scowled. “Mr. Stark, people are giving us weird looks. I can feel it.”

“Chill out. Just a couple more seconds.” With both hands on Peter's shoulders, Tony steered them through the brightly lit store, around little kids and stands with tiny clothes hanging on little cardboard hangers. When they reached the right spot, Tony reached out tipped Peter's chin down so that he'd see the surprise right when he opened his eyes. The kid didn’t even flinch at the unexpected touch and Tony’s lungs constricted at the trust Peter put in him.

“Alright, kiddo. Go ahead.”

Peter opened his eyes.

“No way…”

There, at the end of the line of Avengers themed teddy bears, was a red plush with spider web patterns all over it. It was wearing a replica of the Spider-Man suit and had a mask shoved up on it's head, smushing the ears.

“Congrats, kid, you've joined the ‘recognizable enough to make a profit’ league,” Tony laughed, both hands still on Peter's shoulders.

“Oh my gosh!” Peter picked up the stuffed animal, running his fingers over it. He tugged the mask over the bear’s face.

“Looks just like you, Pete,” Tony joked, grinning widely. Peter gave his arm a soft whack.

“This is amazing. I have to take a picture and show Ned. He’ll freak,” Peter rambled, fishing for his phone in his pocket.

“Or you could just show him in person.”

“It’s a bit far to come—” Peter started, looking around at the store with a furrow between his eyebrows.

“I’m obviously going to buy you one, kid,” Tony interrupted, rolling his eyes. “To add to your collection.”

Peter blushed. “Mr. Stark.”

“After all, you can’t have Iron Man without his loyal sidekick Spider-Man, can you?”

Peter pursed his lips, but there was something soft and awed in his face, like being Iron Man’s sidekick was a dream come true. “Not your sidekick, Mr. Stark.”

“I know, kiddo,” Tony assured him, ruffling his hair. “Now, come on, show me how this works.”

Twenty minutes later, they were leaving with a new teddy bear, the little pseudo-birth certificate that came with reading ‘Underroos.’

“Your face is leaking.” Nebula’s voice startled him so badly he flinched. His hands flew up to his face, wiping away the tears on his cheeks.

“Right. Sorry.” Nebula didn’t say anything. It was one of the best things about her.

“What do I do?” she asked, a little quieter as if embarrassed to not know.

“Just pick one you like,” Tony said shrugging, walking around the store and peering at each bin full of animals waiting to be stuffed. Nebula trailed along behind him, examining them as if wary they would come alive and bite her.

When they came to the Avengers ones, Tony paused. The Spider-Man bear was still there, the crate almost empty. The only ones that seemed more popular were Iron Man and Captain America. Tony smiled a bit. Peter would flip if he knew he’d beaten out Thor.

“That’s your son,” Nebula remarked, a touch surprised.

Tony swallowed, looking at the little plushie. He decided not to correct her. “Yeah. He, uh, he’s pretty popular, here on Earth.”

Nebula stooped and picked out a Spider-Man bear. “I like this one,” she proclaimed, with a confidence that surprised Tony. She’d never expressed real preference or dislike for anything before.

Tony cleared his throat. “You... you don’t have to get that one, just cause it’s—You don’t have to get that one for me.”

“I like this one,” she said again.

“Alright, Bluebell.” She glanced up at him at the nickname. “Let’s go get you your very first stuffed animal.”

After the bear had been stuffed, the little heart placed inside—Nebula had been very confused at that part—and closed up, the worker left them to pick out clothes and whatever else they wanted. Nebula looked at the bear in her hands for a long moment, and then raised it and tucked it under her chin, mimicking what she had seen Peter doing in the picture Tony had showed her. Tony watched, one eyebrow raised, as she stood like that for a long moment, eyes closed.

When she opened her eyes, she looked at Tony.

“I see,” she said simply. Tony smiled.

  Two weeks later, as she and Rocket boarded their ship to leave Earth, Nebula had her little Spider-Man bear—decked out in an Iron Man outfit, at her insistence—under her arm.

[shigarakis-fifth-hand]

The “Better Half”; A Poly KiriBaku x Reader Fanfic

As Izuku Midoryia’s twin sister, you face many issues. But as life throws you one after another, somehow there are two people who are always there for you.

Enjoy the series | one two three four five

It was September 13th, and you came into the world. Into the arms of your mother, she was able to look at you lovingly before handing you to your father. Big, bright green eyes and dark green hair with pale skin and few freckles. You were healthy if not on the skinny side, and surprisingly, not crying your eyes out like most children do. It would be something to be concerned about if you were not looking at your father’s face curiously, and then at the room around you. To your eyes which had seen nothing but darkness, the bright room looked like heaven.

Five minutes and two seconds after, your brother came to the world after you, crying and screaming louder than most children, but at least it was more normal than you. Your mother held him for a minute, before you both were taken by the nurses to be checked for health. Your brother, with dark green hair with lighter highlights and dark green eyes with more freckles than you, was smaller although he had been the one getting the most food. He wiggled around and cried, being the loudest one around.

You, on the other hand, was surprisingly calm except when a needle had been stuck into you to check for your health, causing you to cry for a minute before getting distracted by the nice nurse caring for you. You were washed, and put into the softest blanket-outfit thing with mittens, which you hated, and taken back to your parents with the nurses’ disappointment. Your brother’s caretaker was more than happy to give him back though. Your mother held your brother, loving looking at him with happiness in her eyes as he looked at his sleeping face.

“Look how sweet, he’s snoring.” Your dear mother, Inko Midoryia, looked up at her husband, Hizashi, who held you. “She’s looking around. She’s so calm, it’s almost worrying.” He smiled at you, who was now running your entire hand along one of his fingers, surprised by the rough texture. “They look different.” Inko smiled, now looking at you with lust in her eyes. “She’s prettier. Hands down. And better behaved.” He explained as Inko smiled back at her son, sighing. “They’re going to be equal, and be best friends.” She smiled happily.

“She’s going to protect him, and he’s going to do the same for her. If they’re not, then we’ve failed as parents.” Inko explained, thinking about how her own sister hadn't talked to her in years. “Yes, but I can tell she’s going to be the leader.” Hizashi explained to his wife, who shot him an annoyed side-eye that went un-noticed. “That’s okay though. As long as they’re both happy.” Inko smiled back at her son, hoping that she wouldn't have to worry about them. Little did she know...

Four years later from that day, you and your brother went to the theme park for your birthday with your two parents. Your brother, named Izuku by your dear mother, was holding onto your arm as you both entered the park. “Ichiko! Look!” He pointed up to the tall rollercoaster overlooking the rest of the park, using your name. You had been named Ichiko by your father, which meant “Alpha” or “First child”. It was known to everyone who observed his actions that your father not only favored you, but loved that you were the stronger, taller, and “best” compared to your brother.

“We should ride it! Come on Dad, let’s go!” You began to run before your father grabbed onto your arm and pulled you back forcefully, making him receive several glances from the parents around him for treating a young child with such force and strength. Yet, in his words “you could handle it”, and thanks to his forceful parenting, you had built up the strength to get used to it. “Not yet, we’re waiting on someone.” Just as he finished his sentence, he was met with yelling from nearby. “Is that Inko Midoryia?!” 

You all turned to see a spiky-haired blonde woman running towards you. “Inko babe! It’s been so long!! You haven’t changed a bit!!” She hugged your mother, before turning to your father. “Aye! ‘Zashi bro! How’s it going?! God, you two are such highschool sweetheart goals!” She yelled loudly and full of energy, before turning to the two of you. “Are these who I think they are?! Oh my gosh, you guys are adorable! God I wish I would have had a daughter, you’re such a dollface! And you, such a lady’s man! Goodness me!”

‘Mitsuki, it’s so good to see you. Where’s little Katsuki and-” Inko was interrupted by yelling from a small child walking up to you. “Mommmm. Where’s my water bottle, I can’t find it!” You turned to see a smaller, male version of Mitsuki with the same hairstyle and a black skull t-shirt with shorts. “Katsuki, be quiet. At least say hi to Inko and her children. We brought you to have a play date. It’s their birthday.” Mitsuki explained, before turning back to continue her conversation with the adults. 

“Hi! I’m Ichiko!” You waved at the boy, who looked quite shocked. “It’s your birthday?” Katsuki asked as you nodded, before pulling out a plastic water bottle from your tiny backpack. “It’s unopened. You look hot.” You grinned, tossing it to him as he caught it. He inspected the closed lid before opening it slowly and taking a long sip suspiciously. “I didn’t put anything in it silly. Now do you want to go on that flipping ship or the roller-coaster? I think the two of us meet the height requirement!” You asked as his eyes lit up. A girl who liked rollercoasters??!!

No way, he had to reveal you for the fake extra you really were. “Rollercoaster. I heard it does two 180s, and it’s really fast. I heard someone fell off and broke their leg.” He tried to make you nervous, but only was even more confused when you began smiling. “Well if it’s really fun and it was only the leg, we’ll be fine! Plus two 180s is better than one, so that’s great!!” Bakugo watched as you turned to Izuku who was behind you. “This is my brother Izuku.” You gestured to him, who waved shyly, receiving a confused glance from Katsuki.

So the girl was the outgoing one and the boy was the shy, short one? Strange, but also weirdly cool. Katsuki didn’t have any girl friends, and barely any friends to begin with, so many you could be cool. “Alright kiddies, let’s go.” Katsuki’s dad came up behind you three, smiling as you and the blond got excited, Izuku not so much. Without warning, you grabbed Katsuki’s hand and pulled him towards the nearest ride, a fast rollercoaster that allowed smaller children to ride, not the safest decision, but one that you were more than overjoyed with.

You and Katsuki must of gone on that rollercoaster over five times, loving each one more than the last. After the first one, Izuku choose to stay with the parents who watched the kids and talked about their recent lives. The habit of Izuku staying behind seemed to continue, when the ride was only 2 people per row, or you two wanted to ride something that was two scary. You and Katsuki shared a cotton candy, and Bakugo got you a balloon who he had “ borrowed” from another kid just for you.

You and Katsuki spent hours talking, laughing, and becoming friends. Mitsuki was beyond shocked, seeing her son socialize like never before with a child his age. Katsuki told you about the preschool his mom had looked at, and how his older cousin had gotten his quirk and he was beyond jealous. “I don’t know what mine is, but it’ll be awesome! I know it!” He told you as you nodded, content with just listening to his rant. Just as you two turned the corner to walk down the sidewalk towards the carousel, the kid who Bakugo had “borrowed” the balloon from ran towards him.

“You little brat! You’re going to pay for this!” He freaked out, grabbing a football from his friend’s hand and throwing it at Bakugo. “Hey!” You yelled, reaching out your hand in front of Bakugo. As if time was slowing down, you watched as the football separate into particles, almost like droplets of melted football, and stand mid-air before your face. You pushed your hand back, and as it moved, the droplets joined back together and fell to the dirt below your feet. “Dude, let’s go! These kids are crazy!”

You turned around to see Katsuki, his parents, your parents, and your dear twin brother all staring at you, stars in their eyes. “Mama! Daddy! Did you see what I did?!” You cheered, jumping up and down as your father picked you up happily. “That’s my girl! On your fourth birthday too! Your mom and I didn’t even get ours until we were at least five!” He hugged you proudly, before setting you down as Izuku gave you a high five. “Wow! You can move things with your mind, and separate them into liquids! That’s like mom and dad’s quirk together!” Izu cheered happily as you turned to Bakugo.

“Your... your quirk is SO COOL!” He exclaimed, running to you, grabbing your hands, and jumping excitingly. “God, imagine what you could do with that! You could kick a soccer ball and make it go forever! Or you could even make all the rain come off of you if you don’t have an umbrella!” He continued smiling, before engulfing you in a tight hug. Mitsuki almost cried, shaking a teary-eyed look with Inko, happy her son was socializing. She had become worried about his mental state, being such an angry human being from the beginning. She was worried he wouldn’t be able to function with other kids, and would be an outcast. But no...

“What are we waiting for?! Let’s go! I saw a water gun thing to win a stuffed pokemon! I want the Pikachu!” He yelled out, laughing playfully as he grabbed your hand and pulled you into the crowd and towards the fun. As Izuku trailed behind with the adults, he smiled at how happy you were. You and Bakugo were such good friends, he couldn’t help but be happy that you had another friend to keep you company and make you happy, exactly what you deserved. Little did Izuku know that when he had let you and Bakugo go ahead, he bought himself a life of being the third wheel on your friendship with Katsuki.

It was September 13th, a year later, and birthday decorations laid around the apartment of Inko Midoryia. “Happy birthday Ichiko and Izuku, happy birthday to you.” The children around you sang, crowded around a table. You sat next to your twin brother, smiling before you both turned and blew out the five candles on the cake in front of you. “Good job guys!” Your mom, Inko Midoryia, ran up to you, cutting a piece for each of you, giving one to you first. You looked around at the table, seeing fifteen children from your preschool who you were friends with.

Mitsuki Bakugo and her husband were taking the presents that you and Izuku had unwrapped to your room, and your own mother was making lively conversation with the rest of the parents at the party. Looking around, you were upset to find your father gone, braking his promise that he would come this time. On and off, your father’s visits seemed to grow farther from one another as time passed. After you had gotten your quirk, your parents had quickly begun arguing, eventually causing your father to storm out.

Throughout the divorce and your fifth birthday, your mom had moved to a smaller apartment while saving for a house, began getting interested in medication, forcing you and your twin brother to take certain pills and supplements to prevent any depression or abandonment issues from your father leaving, had gotten you, Izuku, and Katsuki together almost daily for play dates, and had put an offer on a townhouse near the Bakugo household.

“Finally you’re five years old! Now you can go on the slide at the playground by yourself! Lucky!” You turned to a spiky-haired blond boy next to you, smiling ear-to-ear as he talked/ yelled at you. “I know, but it’s okay. I won’t go on until you can too.” You smiled as he laughed, high-fiving you. “That’s awesome! But it’s okay, only two more months and then we both can go on it!” He grinned again, even wider than before as you nodded. “All three of us.” You smiled, grabbing the shirt of your twin brother who was listening in on the conversation. 

“Aww, look at you cuties!! Say birthday!!” Bakugo’s mother, a blonde lady with the exact hairstyle as her toddler son, jumped out from nowhere and held up her phone. “Mommmm.” Bakugo complained as the three kids turned to his mother, smiling as her phone flashed, partially blinding them. “Now let’s get out of here, these kids are getting on my nerves. Someone already asked me if they could touch my hair!” Bakugo complained, grabbing your hand and pulling you out as Izuku followed you guys to the doorway. 

“Izu! Ichi! Don’t you want to say goodbye to your guests?” Inko asked as you nodded, grinning as you ran back inside to the table quickly. “Aren’t you going to go?” Katsuki asked Izuku as he shook his head slowly, turning to watch you hug the kids goodbye. “I’m not friends with any of them really. I don’t even know half of them, they’re just Ichi’s friends.” Izuku explained sitting next to Katsuki on the step outside the doorway. “She’s always been the one to make a lot of friends. It’s okay though, I only need her... and you of course.” Izuku smiled at the blond.

Katsuki rolled his eyes, going un-noticed by the green-haired one as the two turned to see their friend and sister walk up behind them. “Bye Maria! I’ll see you tomorrow!” She turned to the boys who stood up quickly at her arrival, smiling at her from behind. “Come on boys, let’s go. The forest is waiting to explore, and the first one we have a year older must be awesome!” Bakugo grabbed the jar that he had brought next to him for bugs, and smiled, walking after her. “Heck ya! My mom uses candles, but we should totally use those lighting bulb bugs.”

You rolled your eyes, giggling as you entered the elevator with the two boys and clicking the elevator button. Bakugo was taller than you by 2.5 inches, and you were taller than Izuku by 4. Yet you and Bakugo had the agreement that when you took the elevator down, you pressed the button, and he would do the same when you all went back up. “Don’t you mean lightning bugs Kacchan?” You asked as he blushed at his own mistake, you and Izuku giggling. “It’s okay, lightbulb bugs sounds cooler, and it’s more accurate.” You hugged Bakugo, grabbing onto his arm. 

“They don’t even look like lightning.” You told him, making him feel only a bit better as the door opened to the first floor and you all walked out. Again, there was an unspoken rule that Izuku would walk behind you two, although you personally never had noticed, Bakugo and Izuku had made it clear with each other. Bakugo liked being by your side when you would grip his arm, and Izuku liked being in the back “to protect you” when really there was no room on the sidewalk for a third.

When you guys got to the forest behind Bakugo’s neighborhood, next to the apartment building that you lived in, you immediately jumped into the nearby tree and began to climb up. Bakugo laughed, knowing how much you loved tree-climbing to no-end. You swung your legs over the branch and hung upside down, fluffing the hair of the two boys who passed beneath you towards the river. “Ichi! Ichi! It’s a bug! Get it Kacchan!” Izuku yelled, receiving a glare from the blond boy as he looked at your brother annoyed.

“Why don’t you get it! I’m busy trying to find the spider my mom put out the other day. She put it under a cup and walked outside and I haven’t found seen him since! She’s a killer!” He yelled, returning to rummaging around the forest bushes with his bare hands. “Hey, be careful. Turns out all snakes aren’t nice like your snake. Look.” You lifted your pant leg and showed two bite marks to the blond as his eyes widened, looking at you, and then back at the bite. “Woah! You survived a whole snake?!” He asked as you nodded, feeling like a champion.

“Yep, here.” You handed him a stick you had taken off the tree before going to your brother, holding your own empty jar to collect the bug Izuku found. Bakugo watched you though, completely shocked at your strength. You were a girl, yet you were here collecting bugs and fighting snakes?! You were incredible!!! He turned. “So Ichiko, have you been training? I still haven’t gotten mine, but I’ve been working on it!” Bakugo flexed his muscles through his black t-shirt, a silver skull on it this time.

“Actually I have. I helped my mom clean the entire house, and I was able to put away all of the groceries in a few seconds. My mom says it’s very helpful, and she’s proud of me.” You grinned as he stared at you, his eyes shining at your talent. “Lemme see Ichi! Lemme see!” He cried out, jumping up and down happily. You smiled, realizing how he hadn’t changed since you met him. “Okay. Izuku, stand still!” You yelled at your brother as he turned to you, shaking in fear as you extended your hand out. 

Before he could respond, the dirt beneath him began to turn into small, liquid pieces and rose in the air, carrying him with it. “Woah! You can lift humans?! That’s amazing!” Katsuki exclaimed as you set your brother down, turning to the blonde boy. “You’re amazing Ichiko! You’re incredible, better than anyone I’ve ever met our age! You’re going to become the best pro hero in the world!” He exclaimed, staring at you as if you were God yourself. “That’s right Katsuki, but you’re going to do it with me!”

You put your hand on Bakugo’s shoulders as he looked at you, very confused as you both ignored your watching twin from the sidelines. “You’re going to be just as good as me, and we’ll become the Dream Team forever!” You smiled as he couldn’t help but feel emotional at you not only accepting him but promising him a future of hope. It was no secret that Bakugo had confidence issues, from where you would never understand, but you saying that made his day. His week. His entire life was altered that moment, where you recognized him as an equal.

Little did you know that you had begun the start of Bakugo’s confidence spree, bullying beginning, and his craving for the constant attention and compliments, not to mention the start to him seeing everyone else as extras. Because... you were perfect in every way, and you had said that he was an equal, so he had to be perfect! Everyone else was an extra, meaningless and weak compared to you both, the Dream Team. Watching from afar, Izuku couldn’t help but feel conflicted, feeling left out and desperate for attention more than ever.

As the years passed, Bakugo and your relationship began to evolve from friends to the best of friends, and to the point where you two were never seen apart from each other. With Izuku in the background, always the one to walk behind when the sidewalk could only fit two people, or the one to sit on the side and just watch as the other two continued a conversation. 

Your father visited you every other weekend, only paying attention to you these days. You and Katsuki played video games all weekend, trained your quirks after school daily, loved rock-climbing on Saturday nights, and even went on “dates” that were never confirmed dates. You’ll never forget the day that everything changed though, when you and Bakugo were playing hide and seek in his house while your mom and Izuku, your small seven-year-old self being able to fit under the table in the hallway. 

As you hid though, you remained undetected as the phone rang, Mitsuki walking and picking it up. From the other side, you could hear your mother’s voice, and the sound of her crying filling your ears. “Whaaaat? Oh Inko, I’m so sorry! I don’t know what to say!” Mitsuki exclaimed as you leaned closer, desperate to hear. “He’s quirkless Suki! I don’t know what to do! I can’t fix this with medicine or a doctors visit! His dream was becoming a hero, and proving himself to Ichiko and Katsuki... but now.” You listened to your mother, currently sobbing as she ranted.

“Oh god, he’s going to get bullied so much Mitsuki! I just... I don’t know what to do! His father isn’t picking up any of my calls, but... he texted me. He says he wants to release any rights to Izuku. Just Izuku! His own father is abandoning him because he’s quirkless, but still wanting a relationship with his daughter?! He’s such a douche, the poor boy has been through enough! You should have seen the look on his face when the doctor told him he would never have a quirk.” You sighed, trying not to make a noise as Mitsuki and your mother continued.

You waited, getting lost in your own thoughts before Mitsuki hung up, sighing sadly before walking back to the living room to talk to her husband who waited by the door, having heard some of the conversation. Finally, you were able to walk back to Bakugo’s room to see him checking under the bed for the 100th time. “There you are!! I’ve been looking all over!” he complained, jumping up and walking over to you. “Hey, what’s wrong with you? You look sad.” He asked as you looked at him, a single tear sliding down your face.

“Katsuki!” You began sobbing, jumping into his arms and clinging to his chest. Unaware of what to do, he patted your back awkwardly, trying to figure out why you were crying. His mom got emotional sometimes and did this, but that was usually fixed by chocolate and that adult grape juice his mom loved. “It’s Izuku. My mom called your mom. She was crying. She said... she said...” You looked up at the blond, still crying. “He’s quirkless! Izuku is quirkless! Oh god, I can’t believe it!” You cried, seeing his eyes open wide as a shocked response.

“He is? But, you have one! Izuku can’t be... He was going to become a hero with us. We were going to be the Dream Team.” Bakugo thought out loud as you nodded, letting him wipe a tear from your cheek gently. “You know what? It’s okay...” You perked up, returning to a smiling state. “Izuku has always been quirkless, we’re just finding out. He’s still my brother, and we’re going to protect him from anyone who wants to make fun of him! Right?! The Dream Duo can do anything!” You smiled as Bakugo watched you, feeling warm inside.

Thanks to Izuku being quirkless, he was able to be even closer to you. He was now going to not just be your partner, but your other half. Izuku might have been your twin at birth, but as soon as Bakugo had met you, he knew he was meant to be the one who you would spend the rest of your life with. Now, with Izuku out of the way, Izuku didn’t have to come to when you guys went to train on the beach, and he didn’t have to come to when you guys fantasized about heroes! Now that he thought about it, Izuku didn’t have to come anywhere with you guys!

And that idea stayed with Bakugo throughout the rest of the years following. Throughout middle and high school, Katsuki began slowly slipping away from any friendship with Izuku. It all started at the beginning of middle school when Katsuki brought the name “Deku” out of nowhere. You said it was an insult, but Bakugo just said that it was an inside joke, turning Izuku’s quirklessness into something funny and not so sad. Izuku said he had no issue with it, and you said you didn’t either if he just didn’t say it around you.

Near the end of middle school, Katsuki began only hanging out with you. Izuku told you that he just didn’t want to come whenever you would invite him, but little did you know what Bakugo had made sure to give him hints that he didn’t want Izuku around. Whether it was an annoyed glance whenever Izuku would talk to him, or purposely tripping him whenever you weren’t around. Izuku just knew it was best if he just stayed behind, and let Bakugo get his way with having alone time with you.

At the beginning of high school, Katsuki gained “followers” who constantly worshipped him, did whatever he wanted, and would do anything for him. This included putting maple syrup in Izuku’s lockers, spamming any social media with hateful messages, and even taking his backpack and lighting it on fire in the parking lot. To you, this was all just unfortunate events due to everyone around the school being hateful. You never would have guessed that your best friend and life-time crush would have been the one torturing your dear twin brother.

Unlike your dear best friend with the spiky hair, you gained many friends during high school. Being the most powerful girl in school, and half of the iconic duo that the entire school worshipped, you constantly had people drooling over you literally and figuratively. You gladly took in as many friends as possible, and had built yourself quite a group of friends. You were friends with the mean girls, who always invited you to sleepovers, the athletes who wanted you at every single game to cheer for them and who you did volleyball with, and even the nerds who did your homework just because you were so nice and defended them.

But now it was the last year of high school for you, and a single month before the end of school no less. You sat in your leadership class, your final period before you could go to volleyball practice and enjoy the donuts they gave out every Thursday. “Now, as I’m sure you all know, the ones currently applying for UA are Ichiko…” The class erupted into claps and hollers in your direction, cheerful faces staring at you from every way. “Bakugo...” The teacher continued as Bakugo smiled widely, happy about the same applause towards him. You couldn’t help but blush as Bakugo winked at you, ignoring the high-fives his way.

“And Izuku...” The entire class grew silent as they looked at the empty desk in front of you. On purpose obviously, Izuku had left to go to the bathroom to avoid any side-eyes. “Oh gosh, he won’t stand a chance...” You heard a random voice murmur, along with many giggled and snickers as you turned to the teacher. “Go on Mr. Kiyoko, we don’t have all day.” You commanded as he nodded, following your orders. “He’ll get crushed by a robot the first chance he gets, am I right?” Bakugo asked you with a cocky tone, smirking as he looked your direction.

“I know... it’s so concerning. I’ll have to protect him at the entrance exam since he won’t have a chance on the physical aspect, but it’ll be so hard to compete against the other students if I’m protecting a helpless human being as well . Plus, even if he gets all of the academic side, so will some of the other students with quirks. I need to convince him not to go, I just have to.” You thought out loud, receiving a smirk from Bakugo and his followers that you didn’t notice. At the same time, Bakugo hated the way that Izuku affected you, and if Deku dared to ruin your high chances of going to your dream school, he would pay big-time.

“Anyways, I hope you all think about your future and complete the essay I gave you about your career choices past high school. I can only hope that you do have a plan after all, or else you wouldn’t bother with high school. Class dismissed.” The teacher lectured as the sound of chairs and desks moving filled the room. “H-hey, Ichiko?” You turned to see Bakugo, looking surprisingly nervous with his blush and the fact that he was avoiding eye contact with you. “Yea?” You smiled, confused by his sudden change in attitude.

“Before practice... could you walk with me for a minute?” He asked as your eyes widened, pretending to be shocked. “And risk missing the donuts at practice?! Of course...” You smirked as he sighed in relief, grabbing his backpack and pulling it onto one of his shoulders. “Lead the way ‘Suki.” You smiled sweetly, making his heart melt at his nickname as he passed you and walked out into the hallway. You followed, grabbing onto his arm, a habit you always did with him. 

Down one of the side hallways and into the main one, you saw how all of the classrooms had been cleared of people, leaving you alone. Bakugo stopped, causing you to stop abruptly. “Ichiko, I- I need to say something, and I need you to let me finish please.” You nodded at him, slightly nervous at what he could possibly be saying. You had been confessed to multiple times by both girls and guys, told that they had undying love for you and that you needed to “let them finish”.

Was Bakugo about to do the same, and fufill your dreams at the same time? You knew that you had strong feelings for him, constantly being unable to peel your eyes away from him while at the gym, and always clinging onto him whenever you would walk. You would blush when your friends would tease, and giggle nervously whenever Bakugo’s “friends” called you his girlfriend. It was no secret that almost the entire school shipped you itself, and that you two would be a perfect match. 

You were sweet, and he was salty. You were gorgeous, and he was handsome. You were the most heroic, and he was a villain but with morals. “I... I don’t know how to say this actually. I wrote this entire speech in my room at 2 am a few months ago, and I’ve been practicing for weeks...” He looked up at you, meeting eye contact with your gorgeous dark green eyes that he could get lost in if he wanted to, which he did most times. “God, please go easy on me. This isn’t-” Bakugo was interrupted by you cupping his face and kissing him suddenly.

As an instinct, he used his hand on your back to push you into him, and his other hand to hold the back of your head and intensify the kiss. He couldn’t describe how much he had wanted this, and you felt the same. Like a wave washing over you and releasing all the daydreams and urges, you felt at ease for once in months. “I feel the same way Katsuki.” You told him, using his full name because it felt right. “God, what are you doing to me?” Katsuki asked, feeling as if he was melting at your touch.

In an instant, he was single-handily able to push you into a classroom and lock the door behind him, pushing you up against the wall as he kissed you. “God, I’ve wanted to do this for so long.” He whispered, moving his lips to your neck and beginning to kiss it tenderly and hard. He couldn't count how many times he had stared at your neck and wanted to decorate it, to show that you were his. And now you were, finally after all this time. “M-me too.” You confessed, letting your hands roan his back freely.

You slipped off your shirt happily, him staring at you the entire time. “Oh god... ‘Chiko. I’m in love with you.” He confessed as you stood there, standing at him with open eyes. “I mean it... I promise, I wouldn't just say it to get what I want or make you like me more. I love you, and I have for awhile.” He leaned in to kiss you slowly and passionately. “I love you too Katsuki. I’ve always loved you, and I’ll never stop.” You smiled, grabbing your arms around his torso as you continued the slow and hot kiss.

In the rush and heat of the moment, mixed with the lust and sexual tension that filled the air, you began to strip yourself of your shirt as he stared at you, your pastel blue lacy bra and the tan lines from when you could go to the beach every afternoon when you weren’t playing video games. You really were Katsuki’s dream girl, and you had always been. Katsuki pressed himself against your bare skin before stripping off his own shirt, throwing it to the side without a care in the world. He was going to make you feel so good...

“Ichiko?! Where are you?!” You stared at Bakugo worryingly, recognizing Izuku’s voice immediately. You jumped from Bakugo's torso to your shirt, throwing it on and fixing the wrinkles. You grabbed the hair tie on the floor next to you and threw it into a messy bun. “Is my lip gloss okay?” You whispered, facing him as he looked at you up and down. Moving his thumb along the line of your lip to fix it, he smiled sadly before meeting your eyes. “Perfect as always.”

You smiled, a blush returning to your face as you recalled the actions that had just taken place. You moved and kissed his lips, holding him closely. “We can resume this tomorrow, and for the rest of our lives.” You smiled, kissing his nose and pecking his lips again before racing out. “Yea?! Izuku? I’m here!” You called out before seeing your twin come out of another classroom. “Oh good. You weren’t in the gym when I went to look and the team is passing out donuts.”

You smiled, nodded, and fixed the tie on your uniform before walking to the gym with him, looking back from time to time. The feeling of Bakugo’s hands remained on your body, sending sensational chills and an addictive feeling that was better than any drugs. You were in love with Katsuki Bakugo, and he felt the same! On the other side of the school, Katsuki was walking home angrily, before stopping by the gym. He watched you walk in, nearly tackled by your friends.

He also saw Izuku, friend-less and lonely, walking in after you with a sad smile. “Deku...” Bakugo murmured angrily, upset that even after years of trying to stop him, Izuku couldn't get the hint. Bakugo knew that he would not be able to be with the love of his life until Deku learned his place, and stayed far away from you. It was quite simple actually, and if Deku had a brain, surely he would realize that you were better off. You were athletic, brilliant, popular, out-going, and powerful beyond anyone could ever imagine. 

Deku was weak as humanly possible, a nerd without the brains, disliked and avoided by close to everyone in the school, shy and nervous, and of course, quirkless. No, useless. There were quirkless people who did something productive with their lives, but here Izuku was wasting away, begging for a quirk that was suitable for a hero to magically drop out of the sky and turn him into the next All Might. It was laughable honestly, that Izuku was trying to be a hero when he could have done something good with his pathetic life instead of dreaming.

It was about time that Bakugo stopped Deku from ruining his life, and began forcing the poor boy to see the truth of his life, and to learn his place in the back of the line. He didn’t deserve his sister’s love like Bakugo did, and he had to make sure that he got it. Deku would ruin everything if he could, and he had to be stopped. As Bakugo watched Deku sit on the bleachers and scroll through his phone, Bakugo smirked, an idea popping into his head as he pulled out his phone.

That night, Bakugo texted you for hours upon hours, sweet nothings and simple conversation like usual. Above everything else, you loved the fact that over years of friendly flirting and sexual tension, nothing changed once your love for each other was out there in the open. You still talked about heroes, how annoying your classmates were, and how excited you were about the UA exams coming up. You both planned to have you spend the night with Bakugo the night before, and that morning you would go on a 3 mile run and chug protein shakes.

The night before, he even promised to allow you to give him a face mask, but only if you would go night swimming with him. You happily agreed, and began fantasizing about your futures together. You both wanted a luxury condo with a salt water pool and a home gym, and a single cat and dog. You would travel a lot, and have a Summer home in Hawaii, the single place both of you guys just dreamed about. Little did you know that in the room over, your brother was feeling the opposite of happiness.

When you sat at the dinner table, you were on your phone texting Bakugo and couldn’t see him playing with his food. When you were brushing your teeth next to him, you were on a call with Bakugo and didn’t see his red, puffy eyes. And when you said goodnight, you were laughing about a joke Bakugo had said and didn’t realize he didn’t say it back, which was beyond abnormal. It wasn’t until morning, when you arrived at the table for breakfast and found Izuku gone, was when you realized that something was up. He had even forgotten his lunch??

You rode your skateboard to school like normal, meeting up with Bakugo for the first class of the day, which you didn’t have with Izuku. You and Bakugo sat down next to each other, playing footsies under the table as you did your math. He then walked you to your social studies when he went to the science classroom next to it. You guys switched classes after, him going to social studies and you going to science, doing the signature high-five you guys had created from childhood while swapping.

Finally it was fourth period, the first class of the day that you had with Izuku and Bakugo. It was Hero Studies, your favorite class. But first, you had to give Izuku his lunch. You walked down the hallway, seeing the green-haired boy from afar. “Izu! You forgot this at home!” You called out, still skipping happily wth the memories from yesterday fresh in your mind. This time, you finally noticed Izuku’s weird behavior when he didn’t turn around. “Thank you Ichiko, you can leave.” You looked over to see he was staring at his phone intensely.

When you saw the single tear drip from his cheek to the phone screen, you snatched it out of his hand and held it up, staring back at your brother who was now facing you. A single black eye, a light scrape on his right cheek, and bright red, puffy eyes looked back at you. “Oh my god, what the hell happened?” You asked as he closed his eyes, trying not to cry. You hugged him while bringing the phone screen in front of you, looking at his recents. It was Bakugo’s number which you knew by heart, followed by all of his “friends”.

Kill yourself.                                      You fucking ruin everything.                

                    Worthless Deku.                                         Die you fucker.

Waste of space.                               Take a dive off the roof.              

                     You’re pathetic.                                          Your own dad hates you.

Freak.                                              Nobody likes you.  

                     Your sister hates you.                                You deserve to die.

Don’t come to school tomorrow.      Meet us behind the school early.

You looked up at your brother, unable to believe your own eyes. “I-I was going to tell you, but you just seemed so happy with him. I didn’t... I didn’t want to ruin anything else!” Izuku began sobbing into your chest as you held him close. “Bakugo sent you these?” You asked your brother, unable to believe it even though it was right in front of your eyes. How could you have not seen it sooner? Bakugo wasn’t a jerk to Izuku because it was funny or friendly, but because Izuku was quirkless, he was terrible to him. 

You couldn't help but feel tricked, practically lied to that that point. The same boy who would tell you that he loved you, and had always loved you, would beat up your dear brother and tell him to kill himself. You couldn't help but feel tears overwhelming up as you ran down the hall and to the Hero Studies class, seeing Bakugo. “Hey cutie, what’s u-” As he went to do the handshake, you punched him right in the face, sending him to the floor as a crowd surrounded you. “What was that for?!” Bakugo yelled as you grabbed his water bottle.

“You!” You kicked him in his stomach, seeing the students surround you in a circle. “You kiss me and tell me you love me, but then you beat up my brother and tell him to kill himself!” You threw Bakugo’s backpack at him, hitting him in the face. “You’re pathetic! You go threw all the trouble of calling me your best friend and then you do shit like this! You’re pathetic and heart-breaking and I hate you! I hate you so much Katsuki!” You screamed, tears pooling down your face as he stared back at you, unable to believe your words.

“I hate you so much! And I’m never speaking to you again!” You screamed before running out of the classroom, and out of the school towards downtown.

[fics-of-culture]

Grace and Sacrifice

Summary: Gadreel gives up his grace to be with you

Ship: Gadreel x Reader

Words: 1,697

You sighed as you roamed the halls of the bunker. Things had been... difficult since Gadreel died. It was no secret that the two of you had gotten close before he passed. He had revealed himself to be your soulmate. Much to the Winchester brothers chagrin. You had even shared a searing kiss before he went to heaven and ultimately sacrificed himself to save everyone. You sobbed into Castiel’s chest for hours when he delivered the news. Gadreel had apparently made Cas promise to look out for you before he plunged the rock into his chest. After the first year without him, you’d managed to put yourself back together. You stayed in the bunker for the most part. You offered your assistance to the boys whenever you could, but for the most part you stayed inside and did research. You had contented yourself to live out the rest of your days like this. That was, until one night a few months later when the Winchesters heard a knock at the bunker door. The boys answered it hesitantly, only to find Gadreel standing before them. Looking very much alive. They had questioned the fallen angel for hours to no avail. He had no recollection of anything after he sacrificed himself in that cell. It was clear that whatever had brought back Gadreel would remain a mystery for now. But the boys were unsure how to break the news to you. They had assumed that you were passed out in your room. Resting up after a particularly grueling hunt and therefore completely unaware that anything was going on. It also didn’t help that the newly resurrected angel kept demanding to see you.

“I don’t understand. Why can’t I see Y/N?” Gadreel was pacing back and forth in the library. “Is she alright? Has she been injured?” Gadreel was getting upset thinking about you having gotten hurt while he was gone.

“Calm yourself, brother.” Castiel approached the stressed angel, attempting to soothe him. “We are simply trying to figure out the best way to break the news to Y/N. We want to avoid upsetting her.”

“Why would this upset her? I thought she’d be happy to see me.” Gadreel cocked his head in confusion. Dean just rolled his eyes, not entirely pleased with the idea of Gadreel being here.

“I’m sure she will be, but these things can be quite stressful to humans.” You were looking for the guys as you heard the tail end of the conversation that Castiel seemed to be having. You decided to enter the library to see what was going on.

“What’s stressful to humans?” You ask as you step into the room. Your eyes focus on Cas as you notice from your peripheral that there’s an extra presence in the room.  You froze as your eyes came to rest in Gadreel.

“Hello, Y/N.” You gasped as you heard his voice. You hadn’t heard that voice in a year. Somewhere in the background you could faintly hear Sam and Dean speak to you. But you couldn’t make anything out. As Gadreel approached you, you felt your legs give out under you. Gadreel was upon you suddenly, arms wrapped around your body to the floor as your knees hit the ground.

“I... I don’t understand.”

-

It took about ten minutes for everyone to catch you up to speed. Even then, you weren’t sure how much of it had actually registered in your shell shocked mind. At some point, Gadreel had offered to escort you back to your room and you accepted. You were eager to speak to the man one on one. Gadreel shut the door as you just stood there, not quite sure what to do next.

“I truly am happy to see you, my heart.” You smiled at him gently as he regarded you.

“I never thought I’d see you again.” You replied softly. He took a hesitant step toward you.

“Are you... happy to see me?” Gadreel asked, shy. You let out a small laugh at that.

“Of course I am. I missed you.” Gadreel let out a relieved sigh. He raised his hand to brush some of the hair away from your face.

“I’m happy to hear it. I was worried that you had forgotten me.” You couldn’t help but lean your face into the palm of his hand.

“I could never forget you, Gad.” Gadreel surged forward then, surprising you with a passionate kiss. You return it eagerly. Since the moment he had left you so long ago, your angel had wanted nothing more than to return to you. Having you in his arms now, Gadreel finally felt whole.

-

Weeks had passed since then. You and Gadreel had spent the time rekindling your romance. But it wasn’t long until those familiar feelings of guilt and inadequacy came creeping back in Gadreel’s mind. He saw what you refused to acknowledge. This could never truly work out. Being an angel, Gadreel was effectively immortal. He would have to sit by and watch as you age and eventually die. As if that wasn’t enough, he also could never give you the family the two of you so desperately desired. Any attempts at creating a child would result in a nephilim. And you would die giving birth to it. You brushed off his concerns whenever he tried bringing these things up to you. You told him you could be happy without a child. Despite your reassurances, in his heart, Gadreel knew what had to be done.

-

“You’re not thinking clearly, brother.” Gadreel had blindsided Castiel with his request to become human.

“As a matter of fact, this is the clearest I’ve been able to see in a long time.” Gadreel remained composed as he stood before his brother.

“All this time, you have been looking for redemption. And now, you do not want it? You could help me rebuild heaven.” Castiel tried desperately to discourage his brother. There were so few angels left in the world.

“I have found my redemption. But now, I have also found my family. Someone somewhere was generous enough to give me a second chance. I will not waste it as I have my first life. We are free now, to do what we want. And she is all that I want.” Castiel sighed in defeat. It was clear that Gadreel would not back down from this.

“Are you certain, brother? There is no going back from this.”

“Yes.” Neither of them had realized that you were standing by the door, listening to this exchange. You had been looking for your lover when you heard Castiel trying to discourage Gadreel from doing... something. You weren’t sure what. You knew you shouldn’t be listening in on this, but something stopped you from leaving. You weren’t blind. You could see that Gadreel had been pulling away from you as the days went by. But, you weren’t sure what to do about it. It had seemed though, that your angel had decided to take things into his own hands. Panic flooded your system as you hear a groan of pain. You can’t keep listening for a moment longer. You burst into the room suddenly to find Castiel inhaling a blue light as he stands before Gadreel, angel blade in hand.

“What are you doing?” Gadreel’s head turns to you suddenly. You can see the light in gaping hole in his neck that was slowly fading as Cas sucked the rest of his grace from his body. Cas then healed the wound on his neck. Gadreel had just given up his grace. Tears burned in your eyes as you approached. “Why... why would you...” You trail off. Unsure of what to say. Gadreel smiles softly at you as he gathered you into his arms.

“I asked Castiel to make me human.” He said, softly.

“But why?” You looked up at him with tears in your eyes. You saw no regret in his face.

“Because I wish to be with you for the rest of my life. I wish to age with you. To have a family with you.” Your lover gently rests his forehead against yours as he speaks.

“Family? Does that mean...” You trail off.

“Gadreel is human now.” You look to Cas standing beside you as he speaks. You turn your head to look at him. “He will age and any children he bears will be human as well.” You look to Gadreel as he smiles down at you.

“Aren’t you upset? You gave up your grace. You’ll never be an angel again. What if you regret your decision?” Your doubts start to pile up as you continue speaking.

“As long as you are with me, my heart, I will never regret this decision.”

-

A year had passed since then. You sigh calmly as you walk into the living room of your small home. A short while after Gadreel had given up his grace, the two of you decided that it was time to find your own place. Somewhere the two of you could call home. You smile at the scene before you. Your husband, Gadreel stood in the middle of the room, rocking your newborn baby in his arms. His eyes lit up as they landed on you and he shot you a lopsided grin.

“How is she this morning?” You ask quietly as you notice your baby fast asleep in your angel’s arms.

“She’s happy to see you this morning, my heart. As am I.” Gadreel leans down to peck your lips and you smile into the sweet kiss.

“Why don’t you hand her over and you can grab some of the coffee I made?” Gadreel gently hands you your child, a baby girl the two of you had decided to name Grace, and turns to exit the room. He pauses for a moment, observing as you murmur affectionately to the little bundle in your arms. “What is it, Gad?” You ask as you notice that he hasn’t left.

“Nothing.” He whispers back to you. He turns to grab the two of you some coffee and somewhere in the back of his mind he thinks ‘Best decision I’ve ever made.

[whenimaunicorn]

The Heart of Admiration - Part 3

Charles Vane x Reader - slow burn

Part One -- Part Two

The activity never ceases on a ship, but it does get a bit quieter at night; there are less crewmen out and about, and their voices are softer on a calm night like this one. You’ve got the highest deck to yourself, and the heavens are clear and brilliant with stars. The measurements will be easy tonight, the ocean rolling in only gentle swells beneath the ship. You take a breath and feel your tension melt away under the crystal light of the Milky Way, and the sliver of the crescent moon.

With one hand to steady yourself against the railing, you let your head fall back, looking straight up at the expanse of the sky. You’ll start your measurements in a moment, but there is no rush. You’ve always loved looking at the stars; it’s the reason you wanted to learn them, the passion that carried you through all the charts and figures and drier things that come with navigation. Somehow your profession cements your relationship with the awesomeness of the heavens. The calculations connect your place on earth to the celestial bodies, and make any place that you might find yourself in feel like home.

You hear boots on the stairs, and some sizzling spark inside you has already made a guess who it is. You allow your eyes to flit in his direction without altering your posture, refusing to appear flustered by him. Captain Vane ascends the steps. He has washed the blood from his face, his hair smoothed and half pulled back in its proper place again. He’s got a clean shirt on, and so there’s no reason at all for you to be thinking about the bloody horror he made on the deck not too many hours ago.

His momentum hesitates when you do not react to his approach. He strides across the deck to lean his back against the railing by your side. “Evening.” The one word is said pleasantly enough, though the particular character of Vane’s voice makes even an empty pleasantry sound significant.

“Good evening to you, Captain.” You speak formally, and wait for him to say more.

He doesn’t. His nearness makes you vibrate with an unfamiliar tension, his silence making you notice the sensation all the more. It’s not fear, not exactly, and it is not even entirely unpleasant, but it makes you feel restless and your hands seek your instruments. Time to get to work, your captain is watching.

And he does; he watches. You busy yourself lining up sights and marking down measurements, and in the colorless light of the moon and stars you try to read his face in the briefest of glances.

He looks about as calm as the seas that surround you on all sides, but there are hints that something is simmering underneath. He opens his mouth like he’s about to say something, then draws a thick cigar from his pocket instead. He steps over to the hooded lantern you’d brought up to write your notes by, stealing a bit of the flame to get it lit. You hope he didn’t think you watched him too long as he brought his face close to the flames, furrowing his brows in concentration. Then he steps back to lean against the railing, the very picture of a man enjoying the night air. The captain puffs away contentedly as you track the movement of the stars.

“We on course?” he finally breaks the silence to ask.

“Appear to be,” you answer, running figures in your head. “Though we might want to adjust the heading a little more westerly.”

Smoke erupts from his mouth as he speaks. “You don’t need to consult the charts first? Some books full of tables, check your figures twice?”

Your hands come to rest on your hips. “That’s always better,” you agree, “but you are the one that asked what I thought at present.” You shrug. “I’ve basically got the tables memorized. I know what the numbers mean as I’m reading them.”

“Impressive.” Something about the way he says it makes you feel like a braggart, and you turn away from him awkwardly.

“I like the feeling of knowing exactly where I am,” you say, feeling some odd pressure to explain yourself now. You feel more than hear him coming closer behind you. The breeze shifts, carrying his warm tobacco smell over your shoulder. “Measuring the heavens… grounds me.”

“I can understand that.” He says it low, almost wistfully. You are struck all of a sudden by how very little you know about him. His reputation, yes, but the man himself… he seems to have layers deeper than what was spoken about in the streets and taverns of Nassau.

“It’s probably what brought me all the way to the West Indies,” you continue, “to see new stars, to see the same stars in different ways… what brought you here?” It’s a clumsy transition, but you’re curious. You turn to face your enigmatic leader.

He stiffens, a brief scowl darkening his features. “I have never not been here,” he says, frustratingly terse as ever, and takes another puff from his cigar. “How’s your head?” He reaches up while he says it, fingertips brushing just above the nape of your neck, to check the lump left by the attackers. You should say something sharp about him taking the liberty to touch you so boldly, but in this moment, alone under the stars, you’re too tantalized by the feel of his fingers in your hair. It doesn’t even hurt when he finds the knot that has risen at the back of your head. “It doesn’t seem too bad.”

“It’s not bothering me.”

His fingers trail away from your injury, his final touch along your scalp not feeling strictly diagnostic. Why is your heart suddenly racing? His hand falls back to his side, but he does not step away. There is a surprising uncertainty in his eyes, even as he continues to speak with confidence. “So now you find yourself under the West Indies stars. Have you found your place? Or do you miss your home?”

Is Vane curious about you too? You cross your arms as you contemplate your answer. “My home? My home is on the waves, now.” you look up at the glittering sky above, “my home is under these stars.” Vane smiles. “My home is… apparently, with your crew.” You say it slowly, trying on how it tastes on your tongue.

Vane’s smile drops. “You still feel that I forced you.”

“You feel that you didn’t?”

He actually looks pained, the fearsome Charles Vane who has never hesitated to reach out and take exactly what he wants. The one who has earned, through his easy comfort with violence, the right to do exactly that around the port of Nassau and anywhere else where lawlessness and reputation were the only rules. He looks away from you, across the open water. “I never want anyone to feel caged.”

“A bargain… is different from a cage.” You’re not going to deny your own responsibility, the mess of Captain Fisher’s plan that led to your service on this vessel. It could have ended so much worse. “I am not ungrateful for your mercy,” you say, finding it difficult to meet Vane’s eyes as they smolder down at you now, “it was a price that I am glad to pay.”

“Sailing with us is a price?” He’s choking on that, somehow, though you fail to understand why. He was the one who set the terms. “Pirates have killed for the privilege of joining my crew. I liberated you, from a mediocre life.”

“You have a fine ship, Captain Vane. And a decent crew, with a fearsome reputation. But you took me from my family.”

His scarred brow arches skeptically. “Your brother-in-law? A captain with no vision, always going after the lowest-hanging fruit, the most convenient prizes. I understand that you have to make your start with the connections that you have, but”—he leans in, putting his face fully in the way of your gaze—“you can’t look me in the eye and say that you were satisfied by that.”

Vane might have a bit of a point, but he’s missing yours. You meet his eyes levelly, leaning in even closer toward him. Then you all but bite off each word. “You didn’t give me a choice.”

The wound reappears behind his eyes. He rocks back, blinks once. His cigar has stopped burning, forgotten between his fingers, and he contemplates it for a long moment before answering. “The prize you led us to today is rich,” he says, slower, softer. “Consider the bargain fulfilled.” He’s thinking about every word, as if he’s deciding each one only as he utters it. “If, when we get back in port at Nassau, you’d like to take your share and seek out other employment, I will not hold you.” He tucks the remainder of the cigar into his pocket, stepping past you toward the stairway. Before leaving the deck, he looks up at you though, eyes ferocious even while he’s backing down. “But you won’t find any crew better than mine.”

 ~*~

 The prize was rich indeed. Eleanor Guthrie was furious that the Ranger was the crew turning it in, of course; apparently she had already assigned the lead on this particular ship to another captain, one more squarely under her thumb, but she paid out all the same. And then everyone stayed to drink their first round in her tavern, just on account of the look on her face.

You don’t know this crew well enough to celebrate with them. They seemed amicable enough during the hunt, but with the reputation Vane’s men have for carousing, drunkenness, and petty violence once their purses are full, you’ve deemed it wise to keep a little distance, and just observe what plays out on this evening.

You don’t know if you’re relieved or disappointed when the first man to take a seat on the bench beside you isn’t Charles Vane, who appears to have taken up his own brooding, isolated little position at the other end of the hall. Instead it’s Jack Rakham, your new quartermaster, who settles in with a flourish of his coattails beside you. “Cheers.”

You clink your rim against his proffered mug and you both drink deep.

“Without your skill, we likely would not be celebrating this victory,” he adds. “You have my thanks.”

“We were only lucky that the storm pushed our prize off its course in the same direction as it did our own.”

“And without your competence, we would not have been able to compensate so well even for that.” Jack shakes his head with a conspiratorial smile. “What use is humility in a place such as this. Claim all the credit you are owed, I say. And then however much more you can get away with beyond that, too.”

You give a thin smile to the cheerful bravado of his advice, a smile that sours when you see the look that Miss Guthrie is shooting you as she crosses the room.

“Speaking of owed,” Jacks says, distracting you from wondering why she’d be singling you out for her ire so specifically, “the Captain asked me to write this out for you right away.” He produces a slip of paper and presses it into your hand.

There’s not much written on it, aside from an impressive sum of money and Rackham’s flourishing signature. “Is this—”

“Charles was quite insistent that I calculate your share without delay.”

You risk another look at the man in question, across the crowded room. Captain Vane is quite decidedly not looking at you, though his body is angled such that he could glance in your direction as often as he pleased. Right now, he seems pleased only by the barmaid, who is clearly attempting to make her excuses and move away from his table. Poor thing probably won’t have a job for long if Eleanor Guthrie thinks she’s flirting with her ex-lover. You look back down at the figure Jack had passed you. “It’s generous.”

Rakham shifts, making sure he’s caught your eye before speaking. “There will be more prizes, rich as this one, should you choose to stay on with us.”

You contemplate the man’s earnest face. So he knows why Vane asked him to rush your share, or at least he has surmised it.

“Don’t let Charles’ rough edges turn you off to this crew before you get to know us. I don’t know what he said to set you off, but I promise you, with time you will find his tendency to put his foot in his mouth quite endearing, really.” His wide smile beckons an answering warmth in your own face.

Perhaps the matter is settled now, between you and Captain Vane. But that’s not the only trouble you’re having with your current position. “It’s the crew I’m worried about, more than him,” you admit. Jack just seems so easy to talk to; you can see why he’s a good fit for Quartermaster. “It’s hard for a woman to get respect.”

Jack takes a long pull on his ale. “I know the reputation we’ve acquired. I can’t even say we don’t deserve it. But they’ve adjusted to Anne’s presence on the crew just fine. it won’t be as hard as you are thinking. All you need to do is find your niche. Which brings me back to my point about laying claim to all the credit that you can. Come.” He tugs on the sleeve of your jacket, standing up from the bench and looking toward the main throng of the Ranger’s crew, gathered around a group playing dice at one of the long tables. “It’s high time I made a toast.”

 ~*~

 “That lead was not given to you.”  

Charles stares across the desk at Eleanor, her eyes flashing bright with indignation, her cheeks coloring already although she had only just got started in on him. “And yet,” he squares his shoulders out of habit, “I took it first.”

He watches her fume, just as prettily as ever, in exactly the way that he knew his flat tone would incite her. “Yes, and how exactly did you do that, Charles?”

He sits down in the chair in front of her desk, not because he wants this conversation to take a long time (he still has plenty of celebrating left to do) but because he knows so well the show that he is about to have to sit through. He figures he might as well be sitting down. “I outmaneuvered you.”

Eleanor’s head tilts sharply, her knuckles going white as she thinks of a suitable retort to his simple statement of fact. He used to think she looked so glorious when he got her this riled up. But today, she just looks… petty. “You went behind my back. And here I thought we were finally getting comfortable with the new arrangement.”

“What, the one where you fuck my crew on leads and I don’t even get to fuck you back?” He feels just a simmer of the old rage, the one where she used to make his blood boil until he could think about nothing else, but it sputters and dies about as soon as the retort has left his lips. His fingers find the stump of a cigar in his pocket, the one he forgot he was smoking last night because he was so distracted by you.

Eleanor’s lips turn down into a scowl that’s truly ugly. “Or maybe, when I’m no longer playing favorites, coddling you, it’s just clear that you and your crew are an inferior operation.”

“Seems to me, the only thing that’s clear is that my crew got the prize.” He puts the cigar between his lips. Somehow, it’s easier tonight than it has ever been, to ignore her attempts at riling him. All she’s making him feel is…caged.

“Don’t smoke in here,” Eleanor snaps.

He lifts his brows, then sighs heavily and starts fiddling with it between his fingers instead.

“I don’t believe you can credit yourself or your crew for this one, anyway,” Eleanor says, sitting down primly with a smugness behind her eyes. “I know that you stole the Starling's navigator. Who you absolutely needed, in order to pull this one off. How long have you been planning to undercut my wishes? And who do you think you are, anyway, disbanding crews, stealing ships, banishing people like you’re some sort of king?” Her composure hadn’t lasted long. Her eyes wide, she’s leaning over the desk at him again.

And yet Vane still finds he feels only annoyance. “The strong eat the weak.”

She barely acknowledges he spoke, and only with a roll of her eyes, before she barrels on to her next point. “And you think the other captains will stand for you poaching their talent at the end of a sword?”

He flits his hand through the air. “It isn’t like that. She made a deal.”

“Yes, a deal during which her sister’s husband was about to have his head parted from his shoulders. I interviewed Captain Fisher before he complied with your…request…that he leave Nassau.”

That irks him. Who does she think she is, “interviewing” people. Why did she have to talk like that, like she’s a goddamn queen. And painting him like a monster in your life, to boot. “He betrayed our partnership,” he growls. “No one on this island would say that he deserved any better than what he got, when I caught him red-handed sneaking onto my ship.”

“Fisher said you were holding out on splitting up that cargo fairly between you, and he was only intending to secure his fair share.” That smug look is returning to her scheming eyes. “If you had only turned it over to my warehouse as soon as you got in, as is the usual way business is done around here, I would have made sure that you were both paid fairly.”

“Because you have been nothing but fair to me and my men, of late.”

“Charles.” Her eyelids lower, just a fraction, just enough to not make him think she’s doing it intentionally, giving him an echo of her bedroom eyes. She draws herself up with a fluid grace in her movements that wasn’t there before. He can barely believe that this actually used to work on him. “I know it’s hard to accept that things are changing between us.” And if you’re a good boy, the roll of her hips says as she steps around the desk, they might even change back for a night. “But you are still one of my top earners.” She sits on the edge of the desk on his side now, close enough for him to reach out and grab, deliberately calling to mind those times that he pushed her right over that desk, just in that spot, and—“Do not give me any more reasons to cut you out of Nassau’s business completely.”

And although perhaps her threat even has teeth, Charles finds that he barely cares to even pay proper attention to what she has been saying. Ever since the first mention of you in this conversation, he’s been distracted by that damnable nagging doubt that perhaps he has not treated you fairly from the start. Even Eleanor seems to think so, and he finds that bothers him more than anything else the woman has said. And watching her try to work her seduction on him… he’s much more interested in pondering how you might go about trying to ensnare a man that you desired. Would you act like you could barely hide a wicked grin too, or would you be softer, more artless but nevertheless endearing…

Eleanor is still glaring at him, waiting for a response.

“We done here?”

Her frown deepens, with a cast of what might even be confusion at his lack of reaction. “Excuse me?”

He climbs to his feet. “Have you said everything you wanted to say.”

“I’d like a promise.” She stands too, a little closer to him than she would have stepped to anyone else. She’d excluded him from her bed, but Charles can see now, clear as day, that she intends to keep controlling him by dangling the possibility he might one day get back in. “That you won’t go against me again. This doesn’t have to get ugly, Charles.”

“Go ahead and keep tightening your fist around this island, Eleanor,” he says, stepping decisively toward the door. He hopes you haven’t left the tavern yet. “See what bends, and what breaks. There’s only so much free men will tolerate.”

On to Part 4

More of my work here

Feel free to send me interesting dialogue prompts that might advance this story. Taglist is open: @acebreathesfire @kind-wolf @the-roci  @ladyhubris @summertimesadness1017​ 

[kchuarts]

Instinct

A/N: *rubs my filthy hands together* This is a VERY self indulgent fic of mine with one of my various kinks... Also takes place during a weird timeline in IW and Loki has been informally accepted as an Avenger. 

Summary: Astrid KNOWS that now is not the time to bring up the idea of having a child. She also knows how Loki feels about it; he does not want children. With everything going on in the world, why was she even thinking about this?

Thanos is still looming over the Avengers at an uncomfortably close distance, and strange creatures have began to invade earth. Unfortunately, these creatures happen to be from Jotunheim...

Warnings: 🔞🔞🔞 VERY SPICY SMUT, breeding, dubious consent, impregnation, etc...🔞🔞🔞 DO NOT READ IF YOU ARE UNDER 18!!!🔞🔞🔞

The very first time Astrid had ever brought up the idea of having children in the future with Loki, was also the last time. In fact, the prince seemed rather upset that she would even bring up such a topic. He had given her a very firm “No.” but never gave any clear validation why he was so against the suggestion. Astrid decided it would be wise not to bring it up again despite her desire to give him a family. His cool opinion of her devotion made her heart ache. She thought that maybe he would be at least open to the idea, but his habit of closing off had won that argument. 

It wasn’t that Loki did not want children, it was more of his inner turmoil and who he was. After his haunting fall from the Bifrost, the prince never even thought he would be breathing today. Since his brainwashing, he had concluded that fatherhood would never be within his prospect. This final result was all thanks to the lack of fatherly love from Odin, having learned the truth of his origins, having been unwillingly controlled, what he could do, and now? What now? There was no research of a mortal and Jotun ever creating life together and scarce information of an Asgardian and Jotun doing the same. Loki would not risk his wife’s endurance for something that could quite possibly kill her. He finally found something beautiful through his hardships and he was not willing to let her go. As much as it hurt him to see Astrid suffer in silence about it, he would rather be safe than sorry... 

“It has come to my attention that a seam has torn through our world by something to let these massive beasts in and destroy everything in sight.” Fury stated, glancing to Thor and Loki who were standing to the left of the round meeting table. “It is also to my understanding that you have dealt with these things before, and that your brother is of their particular home planet.” He waited for a reply from the Gods as everyone else did. 

“They are frost beasts and they do indeed come from Jotunheim.” Loki spoke up, nodding toward the holograph of one of these humongous creatures. 

Steve walked forth, examining the 3D image and scratching his beard at it. “So what you’re saying, if I am not mistaken, is that we could have another convergence on hand if these things are coming in? I’m no expert so please excuse my misinformation if I am wrong.” His blue eyes flicked to the God of Mischief. To everyone’s slight relief, both Loki and Thor shook their heads no. “We have yet another 5,000 years before the next convergence occurs, so we can consider ourselves lucky in that regard.” Thor tapped the table toward the frost beast, “What we have here is something else entirely and if my intuition is correct, I believe Thanos is behind this.” The God of Thunder pulled his arm back, mirroring the Captains pose and scratching his own beard. Director Fury nodded to Thor, “So it is a distraction of sorts for what he truly has planned? Laufeyson. You should know the answer to this, given you were under his control.” 

Loki nodded, “This is one of his tactics. His army is far larger than a few frost beasts, I have seen it first hand. Well, a glimpse of it anyways. I am hypothesizing he has torn the seam to get me alone. He still is after my head and wishes death upon me.” His thumb gently plays with the smooth onyx band around his ring finger as a means to calm himself; to think of going home to his wife. “Understandable. We also wanted you dead for a period of time.” Nick spoke nonchalant, taking no mind in the slight irk in Loki. “Gentlemen, please.” Steve frowned, holding his hands out and waving down before turning to the dark haired prince, “I’ve got an idea but it will be very dangerous. It does involve closing that seam so we can take care of this and get back to taking Thanos down... I’m gonna need you to go home, Loki.” 

Scoffing, the Trickster gave an amused smile to the captain “I would not exactly call it ‘home’ as you so plainly put it, but it does appear that I haven’t a choice here.” He sighed and turned on his heel, “Very well, please prepare a ship for me. If you are sending reinforcements along, I suggest you see Stark first for cold resistant armor. I do not require it, but mortals will-” There was a sudden crackling noise as Tony’s voice broke through the communicator on the table. “Sorry to interrupt ladies, but this isn’t the time for an ice cream social. We’ve got frosty the snowman on steroids over here destroying shit left and right!”  Fury pressed a button, “Stark. Where is your position and company?” 

“Central- Really!? Come on!! Never mind where we are! Just track us down and get help!!” Tony’s voice cut out as his communicator lost connection. 

Almost immediately, Thor turned to Loki and grinned widely to which the latter tried to ignore what was just said. 

“Let’s do get help.” 

“No-” 

All four of the men present suddenly grabbed onto anything as the room shook violently. The shaking was followed by a terrifying screech, causing everyone except Loki to cover their ears. “What the hell was that!?” Steve looked up to see the Trickster frozen in place as though he had seen a ghost. “It’s near the medical wing-” Loki choked out, taking off in a sprint as fast as he could. 

--------------

“Everyone form a single file line and do NOT rush out!!” Astrid walked along the line of medical workers and patients, doing her best to escort the frightened people out of danger. It was hard to do so with the violent tremors that continued to rock the building. “Astrid, I’ll take over, go check the Children’s ward and make sure there aren’t any kids left.” Doctor Cho placed a hand on the brunette woman’s shoulder, giving it a slight squeeze. Astrid nodded, quickly making her way out of room D to the best of her ability through the crashing and now flickering power. Her heart rate picked up as she heard a high pitched, terrified squeal come from her destination. Astrid sprinted down to the ward, eyes scanning over the beds in a panic. 

The child shrieked once more as the power blacked out completely this time. “It’s ok!! Stay where you are and I’ll come get you, sweetie!!” Astrid pulled her phone out quickly turning on flashlight and seeing a little girl; who was no older than 5, huddled in the corner and shaking. The head nurse head to the girl with light feet, scooping her up and giving the poor child a tight squeeze. “It’s gonna be ok. I’ve got you. We’re gonna get you out of here.” She cooed to the girl, taking her small hand and holding it as she had reached for it out of comfort. Swiftly, Astrid began to make progress exiting the room with what little light her phone provided her. “What’s your name, sweetheart?” She cautiously stepped over some new rubble that had fallen from the ceiling while she was in the ward. “L-Lorraine.” the girl sniffled, continuing to hold Astrid’s hand and cling tightly to the woman. 

Astrid smiled at the child despite being in complete darkness. “What a pretty name you have! I am so glad to have rescued you, Lorraine. My name is Astrid.” She adjusted the girl in her arms, hearing a small noise of happiness come from her; before finally reaching a well lit area and setting Lorraine down. Kneeling to her eye level, Astrid looked over her to see if she had any injuries. “Wh-What’s gonna happen to us, M-Miss Astrid?” The woman’s attention is brought up to big, teary green eyes. Reaching up, Astrid pushes some hair from the girls face and smiles once more in an attempt to ease her fears. “We are gonna get us out of here and find your parents. I see you’ve got a Junior Agent badge on your little uniform. Do your parents work for S.H.I.E.L.D?” She tapped the button on Lorraine’s shirt. “Mhm. Daddy is a person that helps other people. My mommy is here.” Her small finger pointed to her heart, “She went up to heaven last year with nana. Daddy told me not to be sad no more ‘cuz she is not in pain. He misses her too but he takes good help of me.” she gave the nurse a small smile, swaying in place. 

“Oh Lorraine, you are such a brave little girl... My mom is here too.” Astrid smiled sadly, pointing to her heart. “What about your daddy?” Lorraine wiped her eyes, sniffling as she was lifted into the woman’s arms again. She paused, hesitant on how to answer that... “My dad...” She started saying as she continued to find an exit. “My dad..” she smiled at the little girl “Is Mr. Stark and he is the coolest dad ever. Sometimes he is kinda mean so maybe your dad is way more cool.” she chuckled softly as Lorraine’s eyes became large with wonder. “Whoooaaa!! That’s awesomeness. Are the Avengers your friends?” her fears soon dissipated from her mind as she became engrossed with Astrid’s words. “Mhm. I am! Captain America is the sweetest, Black Widow is cool, Ironman is a genius, Thor is like a big puppy!! I love them all.... Can you keep a secret for me?” She raised her brows and winked at Lorraine. The girl nodded eagerly and leaned in to hear, “I am married to one of the Avengers.” She laughed softly at Lorraine’s little gasp and blush. “Do you guys have babies?” 

Her laugh faltered a little, but she continued to smile despite the inner conflict within. “Nope, not yet. But I’ll let you know as soon as we have one.” She pushed Lorraine’s bangs from her eyes again, heart aching from wanting a child of her own. Before the little girl could say anything else, Astrid dove to the floor while shielding the child with her body. The wall had exploded and a giant claw reached in, one of it’s sharp nails cutting Astrid’s ankle. She hissed in pain, clenching her teeth and keeping Lorraine’s head to her chest to protect her as much as she could. The pain slowly became worse as it felt like her skin was frozen and becoming frostbit. She knew it wasn’t too deep but that searing chill would worry her more. Lorraine screamed as the Frost Beast roared, destroying more of the wall. The beast turned it’s attention to the two and primarily focused on Astrid as it could smell her blood. Its hulking body moved, jaws getting dangerously close to the woman. 

Before it could snap Astrid and Lorraine into it’s jaws, the Frost Beast let out a painful screech and backed away as its eyes began to bleed. Loki leapt down from the roof and into the hall where his wife was currently trapped. “Astrid!!” He called out, climbing down the fallen building to get to her. “Norns.” He muttered, seeing the nasty cut on her ankle and the chill encasing it. Holding a large hand over it, he chanted something in his native tongue and healed it completely. “I thought you were at home.” Astrid coughed from the dust, blinking to get it out of her eyes and look at Loki. “You really think I would be at home right now with all of this ruckus going on? Come now, my love. You know me better than that-” His brow scrunched as he saw movement underneath his wife. Lorraine peeked out, spotting Loki and quickly hiding her face into Astrid’s chest again. “It’s alright, honey. That’s my husband, he’s here to help us. He’s the one who defeated that big mean monster.” The brunette woman sat up, checking over the little girl. 

Loki watched in awe as Astrid so lovingly and patiently tended to the child; checking to see if she was hurt and that she was ok. He knew it was part of her job to help children, but he never did get to see how she worked with them let alone see the love in her eyes for them. The god bit his cheek, shaking his head at the “what if...?” thoughts and scooped the both of them up. “Let us get to safety before more of its friends decide to show up and give us a bigger problem.” 

---------

After reaching the rest of the group, Lorraine was returned to her father who was sobbing with reprieve that his daughter was safe. “Miss Astrid helped me, daddy! She and her husband! “ Lorraine gave the two a toothy grin. “She’s gonna let me know when they have babies.” She giggled as she saw Loki’s cheeks turn pink. His jaw was clenched, “Astrid. My love. May I have a word?” He spoke through his teeth. Astrid’s smile faded as she knew where this was headed, she turned and smiled to the girl; saying her goodbyes and thank yous before facing Loki. 

“I-I can explain-” her voice was timid from her husband’s silent irritation.

Loki shook his head, nostrils flaring a bit “You know how I feel about that.” He almost hissed while trying to keep his temper under control. “She is a little girl, Loki.” Astrid’s hands fall to her sides, becoming annoyed herself. 

“And?” 

“And? And what!? She was frightened! I had to distract her somehow!” The brunette scoffed, folding her arms over her chest. “So that distraction was to tell her every little detail about our personal life? She is a little girl, Astrid.” He mocked her words and tone from before. “What did you want me to do!? Say nothing!? Kids are curious! Also, for your information, I didn’t tell her everything as you so dramatically put it. I doubt that she will remember me in a few days.” She felt a sharp grip on her arm and gasped as Loki shoved her against the wall. He was very irate with her and would not have anymore. “That is exactly the problem, my dear. You work with children and she just so happens to be in the same place you are. I do not recall any other children you have helped affecting you like this. Children are indeed curious and will spread information like wildfire. Have you forgotten that the public still resents me? I do not know what sort of thoughts have overcome you as of late concerning me impregnating you, but they will cease. The next time this gets brought up...” He stopped, looking away from her. What was he going to say? He wasn’t going to leave her, Norns no! There was always adoption... No. His selfish thoughts of being mistreated and fearing he would be the same to an innocent babe turned him away quickly. The thought of getting her sterilized did cross his mind too... 

Astrid yanked her arm from his now loosened grip, tears burning her eyes. She knew he had a point and that she would apologize for it later, but just once did she want him to see that these thoughts were not selfish. She was doing this for him out of love and wanting him to be truly happy. “I-I’ll see you at home.” She huffed, walking away and refusing to let Loki see her tears. She would not let him win, not this time...

----------

Dinner was unusually quiet that evening, Astrid still mulling over the events of the day and barely touching her food. Loki was presumably in the same boat and decided he also lost his appetite. “I am to leave for Jotunheim tomorrow.” He broke the silence, pulling a chair out and sitting across from Astrid who glanced up at him. “Okay, be careful.” She shrugged, looking back down at her cold food before getting up and pitching it. The prince clicked his tongue and stood up abruptly, blocking his wife’s way to their bedroom. “Is that all you have to say to me?” hidden displeasure seeped in his words. Astrid sighed deeply, shoulders falling and whined, “Loki I’m tired-” She tried to walk past, just wanting to go to bed. His large hands grasped her arms, not as tightly as earlier but still firm, “Look at me.” His voice softened. The brunette sighed again before looking into the prince’s eyes. A small smile peaked across his handsome features as his hands moved up from her arms to her jaw. “I would wager that our situations have changed given that you always tell me I am the dramatic and whiney one.” He smiled as he got a grin from Astrid who tried to hide it. 

“I apologize for earlier, my love...” His thumbs caressed her cheeks as he continued to look at her. 

“I’m sorry too. I know it’s not a good subject... But m-maybe... Maybe we could discuss it in the future? Not have anything set in stone, but talk about it?” Astrid raised her brows, a hopeful glint in her large, doe like eyes. Loki leaned forth, placing a kiss on her forehead “Perhaps we will... However, there are more important things to worry about at hand. Such as keeping you safe.” He rest his cheek on top of her head and felt her arms wrap around his lithe torso. Nuzzling her face against his strong chest, Astrid took his scent in and felt any worry she had at the moment drift away. “Well then you probably won’t like my next question then.” She chuckled. 

“You want to come to Jotunheim with me, don’t you?” Loki lift his head up to look at his mortal wife again, an unamused expression on his face. Astrid grinned, nodding and giggling at his frown. In her amusement, she reached up and pushed his pouting lip in and squealed when he softly nipped at her finger. “Be careful, I may have picked up a few habits from the mongrel.” He chuckled, hiding his smirk with a kiss to her neck. His laughter rumbled once more as Astrid smacked him playfully at him. “Leave my Kovu out of this.” She scolded, still laughing softly. Loki stood up, taking her small hand in his and leading her to their bedroom. He carefully tossed her onto the large mattress before crawling up and placing his head on her chest. Astrid rolled her eyes as she knew what he was asking for and began to play with his hair. “You know, you will need a medic to come along with you. One that sorta kinda knows your biology-” She blushed at what Loki cut her off with. 

“By that you mean my cock? Oh darling, I am most certainly aware that you are an expert in that field.” He laughed as he felt yet another smack, nuzzling his head on her chest. “You know what I mean, dumb ass.” Astrid continued to play with his hair, shaking her head and smiling. “You are right though. I do take care of children... But there’s one big kid that I really need to keep watch on. Such a little trouble maker he is and not to mention he is very amorous...” She felt him shift a little to press his lower half on her leg to emphasize her words. “You would not happen to be talking about a very tall, handsome, charming, prince with a large-” He felt her stop playing with his hair and actually whined. The brunette laughed at the noise he made and his hand grabbing hers to put it back on his head. “Your chances of me saying yes to your joining decrease when you stop your petting.” 

Sighing once more, Astrid resumed her caresses until the prince lulled into a slumber. He did agree to her joining the mission, but what he was not aware of were the circumstances that would happen on the planet of his birth... 

So I guess this is gonna be a two or three parter. God damn. Why do I do this to myself?? Anyways, smut will be in the next chapter 

Taglist: @lucywrites02​

[aconstellationofmemories]

The Secrets We Keep: Prologue

Pairing: Laxus Dreyar & Mirajane Strauss (Miraxus) Rating: M for violence and language. Genre: Angst, mafia AU. Chapter Word Count: 1437. Link(s): AO3  Summary:

Laxus Revenge. It fuelled him through his depraved life. His entire being, dedicated to one single cause. For years, he acted patiently in the shadows, bidding his time to claim his prey. Now the time had finally arrived. Approach her, make her utterly in love with him, then shatter her – that was his plan. Until her hypnotising blue eyes drew him in, and he began to question his knowledge of her. Because those bittersweet depths were hiding something. And in his world, only two things were guaranteed. Either you kill your secrets, or they kill you.   Mira Death, lies, manipulation. They lurked around every corner of her life, even flowed in the very blood coursing through her veins. Merely the mention of her last name was enough to cause eyes to widen and people to scurry. Naïve, pretentious, entitled. Those were just some of the names people called her for choosing to be different. But life was short. And in the dangerous world she lived in, everyone was a player racing to oust the other before the opponent terminated their life. Her own game had just commenced. Only this time, she wasn’t sure she could outwit them. Not anymore. Tick tock.

Author's Notes: The newly-crowned Queen of Foreshadowing is back! I bring with me my favourite ever FT ship after a long spell in my first ever ambitious multi-chapter fanfic! I'm also excited for this one as it revolves around a couple favourite themes of mine: angst, mafia and revenge. I binge romance novels on the second, but never actually wrote it. Please look kindly upon me in my first attempt at this project. (Or like signing for my death, currently being piled with exams and all that.)

Also that summary?? The best I've ever written.

As always, I appreciate every like and review!

Thank you @be-dazzled for nudging me to pursue this and @sweetmemories2606 for supporting me every step of the way. 💛

Tagging @sassyglassesbunny @adramaticbeauty - my original Miraxus gang. 😏

Slow but steady update. Spoilers will be released on the Miraxus Discord Server (find link on my tumblr profile) when available. Otherwise, feel free to message me!

___________________________________

Laxus

Fake.

The adjective sneered from the forefront of his mind as he watched the models strutting down the white platform. Heavy makeup accentuated the elegant features of the slender women of all colours, making their cheekbones more defined and their eyes sharper than their original form. Eyeshadows of glittery monochrome shades further decorated their eyes to match their black and white designer clothes.

A smug, seductive look adorned their otherwise beautiful face, tugging an end of their luscious lips upward in a smirk. With their chins held high, they strode down the runaway, every single movement of their limbs expertly coordinated for nothing less than the best catwalk.

Anyone with a functioning pair of eyes could see that those women were gorgeous. His own roamed over the alternating models with slight interest, toying with the idea of tangling limbs with one of them in bed.

The thought didn’t last long.

That beauty of theirs which sent men to their knees and the women to turn green with envy? Most of it were carefully altered with the help of a needle or a knife in their futile quest for an image of perfection.

An image which had never existed anywhere in the universe except in the recesses of their insecurities.

In other words: fake.

Add in the charming attitude of a heaven-sent goddess who was too lofty for mere mortals, and any spark of lust his body felt toward them fizzled out.

Soft cheers erupted from the audience at the entrance of the next model, pulling him from his thoughts. His gaze travelled up the length of the woman’s black gown, appreciating how the sleeveless garment hugged her body and highlighted her curves. A strip of white cloth ran up her left side before its unblemished trail stopped below her armpit. Light blonde tendrils stood out against the black material at her torso, and led him up to the only medically untouched face in the line-up.

With delicate eyebrows of a darker shade of blonde, sparkling cerulean eyes and a button nose, her looks easily exceeded that of her colleagues. And those luscious, scarlet-covered lips...all they had to do was utter a word, and any men would bend a knee and do her bidding.

Mirajane Strauss.

Niece of the notorious Roman Strauss. Next in line to the throne with his only son, Marcus.

The beauty she radiated was unrivalled. Along with her good looks, the charisma she carried set a standard the other women could only aspire to possess.

She was a sight to behold.

But just like all things good and beautiful, inevitably, they wither and die.

Her attractive appearance, too, hid secrets – hers more twisted than her fellow co-workers. He found it unfortunate that underneath that stunning façade, ran the dark and dirty blood of the Strauss family.

Specifically, that of her father’s and her uncle.

Giovanni Strauss, her father, was infamous for being a merciless boss with more than a few screws loose and a twisted obsession with prostitutes. He didn’t hold any personal grudge towards her father; the tyrant was just another in a long list of evil and perverted bosses, his own father among them.

Though he would be lying if he said he didn’t feel some satisfaction to have stolen the last breath from the great Giovanni... His demise, after all, did propel the women one step closer to freedom.

But her uncle, Roman... He clenched his fists at the thought of the middle-aged man. Roman assumed the position as the boss of the Strauss family after his brother’s death and severed their ties with prostitution. Very little goodness existed in this world of theirs – if it even existed anymore at all – but Laxus personally preferred to keep innocent women out of it. Her uncle’s decision was unconventional, to say the least, and he could almost respect him for it.

Except.

Roman Strauss killed his mother.

The only good thing in his life – gone.

The bastard could die a thousand deaths and it still wouldn’t be enough to placate the monster inside who craved revenge.

Because he could torture him until he wished he was dead, kill him in the most gruesome way possible, and one thing would never change.

His mother would never return to him.

Mirajane might had been born innocent – at least, until life forced her hand in a world she never asked to be a part of. But by being a bloodline of Giovanni and Roman Strauss, she was cursed to a life burdened with the sins and debts of her predecessors. The good princess act she played was merely a means to disguise the impurities hiding below the surface.

A demon wearing the clothes of an angel – that was what she was.

She strode with her head held high, but balanced down with enough humility to glance at the audience in a friendly yet alluring manner. When she reached the end of the stage, the corners of her lips lifted up in a rehearsed small smile which somehow managed to appear sincere. Immediately, the dimly-lit attendees reacted to the visual – the men with smitten looks on their faces, the women a varied display of envy, adoration, and awe.

One could easily see why she was crowned the title ‘The Princess of Hearts’ by the media.

She pivoted on her heels, returning to the entrance, and he sucked in a breath when his gaze landed below her hips. Her smooth, creamy leg peaked out at him from the slit of her gown. The fleeting sight of her flesh involuntarily stirred up desires he despised to have for her.

Fucking hell.

In a rebellious act which broke traditional modelling, she glanced back as she walked and smirked. Flashes of light fired in rapid succession, each competing with the other for the best shot of the expression.

Oh yeah, the little demon definitely knew what she was doing. Not only that, she enjoyed every second of it.

He didn’t need to look at their camera’s memory card to know there had been over ten photos taken in those few seconds before she disappeared backstage. Neither did he need to possess supernatural powers to predict that she would grace the front covers of almost every – if not all – of the fashion magazines tomorrow.

The models gathered in a horizontal line at the entrance with the acclaimed fashion designer in the centre once the show was over. Grinning widely, he spoke into the microphone.

“I’d like to thank everyone who kindly graced my humble exhibition with your presence. The theme of this fashion show is ‘Darkness and Light’. People are of the opinion that these two can never exist together – one which I strongly disagree. By incorporating monochrome colours in my clothes, I hope people are able to see that they can co-exist without one extinguishing the beauty of the other.” He winked. “Because we all have a little darkness and light inside us, do we not?”

Thunderous rounds of applause rose from the audience at the end of his speech. His gaze swung from the ecstatic designer back to Mirajane, who seemed to be happy to be standing at the corner of the line.

His eyebrow quirked up. Odd. For someone of her status, he had expected her to dominate the centre.

She beamed a bright smile and waved to someone in the front row – a few people, actually. Roman returned her grin with a fatherly smile as he clapped his meaty hands along with the other attendees. His eyes instinctively sharpened at the sight of his mother’s murderer. Beside him, Marcus smiled proudly while applauding the success of the event.

Many would kill to be the receiving end of that brilliant and genuine smile of hers. Its effects were so widespread that it not only lit up her face, but the entire being of the receiver.

But he wasn’t a man in search for salvation.

He was the man people sought to be salvaged from.

Nobody saw his face knowing his identity unless they were about to meet their end. Never in his long years as a made man did he fail to escort them there personally.

He would see to it himself that the same plea to be spared would fall from her lips.

Make her weep – that’s what he’d do.

After all, what better way to inflict revenge on Roman other than first breaking his beloved niece’s heart?

His lips tilted up in a smirk, his eyes gleaming with a predatory look.

Let the show begin.

[plethora-of-imagines]

Can Never Escape Her Love

AN: I’m back from finals. I don’t currently have anything else written but more things will follow without over 2 weeks passing by now that I have more time. This is a darker fic, so please read the warnings!

Word Count: 3868

Warnings: very very light suggestive/citrus, manipulation, thought monitoring, suicide idealization, self harm/suicide attempt, unhealthy relationship

Description: She reminds you so much of your Doctor that you ache. There is only one way to escape her now.

Tag List: @c-s-stars @queerconfusionthings (let me know if you want me to keep you on the list for everything O!)

Warm arms found their way around your waist, pulling you closer to a warm body. Your entire being relaxed as you bleary opened your eyes to try and see who it was. Mhhh it was the Doctor, or at least you think it was. You were too tried to open your eyes fully but the strong arms around you had to belong to the Doctor. Who else could they belong to? You felt safe and warm. Must be the Doctor. She was the only one who made you feel so completely content like this.

"Doc," your voice was sleepy as you nuzzled further into her embrace.

Of all the wonders of the universe being in her arms was your favorite. If it was possible you would never leave her embrace.

"Hmm suppose I can overlook you calling me Doc right now. You're practically still asleep. And you're so pliant and cuddly."

You drifted off not really registering her words. Her hands were working to soothe you, rubbing circles into your skin and brushing through your hair. It was nice and sleep came back to you with ease.

You woke up completely relaxed on top of someone's body. You didn't remember falling asleep in someone's arms. So who were you laying on top of? Your face scrunched up in confusion but your body stayed practically boneless. You were too comfortable to ruin it by tensing up at the moment.

"Good morning treasure," she made the word treasure sound like a possessive caress.

Your entire body stiffened to the point that you were shaking. It was her. Why wouldn't she leave you alone? You hated it when she took advantage of the fact that she reminded you so much of the Doctor. Your Doctor, who you missed with your whole being. So much that at times you physically ached.

Her hand pressed forcefully against your temple. Your body went slack becoming putty that she could mold to her desires. You hated it. Yet your body refused to listen to your mind and remained responseless to your internal struggle to try and move away. Even worse was that you were starting to get used to her manipulating your body telepathically.

At least she left your thoughts alone, for the most part. She would get angry sometimes at your thoughts but she never tried to stop you from thinking. It was unavoidable that she would get angry when she was almost constantly in your head. You knew what she wanted more than anything else. She wanted you to love her of your own free will. She didn’t mind manipulating situations to bring you closer to thinking of her fondly, but she would never manipulate your thoughts to make you think you loved her. 

It was her only redeeming quality. That and her unwillingness to cause you any physical pain.

"There we go. All relaxed again. Isn't this better treasure?"

She brought your face up for a kiss. It was a soft and sweet kiss. The kind that you had loved receiving from the Doctor during the rare sleepy mornings where she was content to stay still for a while. Now it made your heartache. 

You felt sick. This woman that had replaced the Doctor in your life was much more content to stay still and hold you in her embrace. To do any of the things you had yearned for. But all you wanted was your Doctor back. All fast pace, never staying still. Always on the move to see the next new wonder the universe had to offer.

A small noise from the TARDIS stole her attention. Her face scrunched up at whatever she had been told. Even the way her face scrunched was identical. It wasn’t fair. She was so similar yet so very frighteningly different. You had lost count of the people she had killed.

"It appears we have an uninvited guest. Let's go greet them shall we?"

She pulled you out of bed with her, changing from holding you in her arms to holding your hand with ease. You had no opportunity to escape her grasp. At this point, you never bothered to struggle. She wasn’t against overpowering you in order to keep you where she wanted you. It wasn’t worth the effort.

"Don't bother with getting dressed my treasure. They won't be here long," the growl in her voice spoke of danger and death for whoever had dared to interrupt her time in bed with you. 

You let her pull you out of the room still wearing only the lingerie she had forced you into the day before. Perhaps forced was the wrong word, coerced would be better. She loved to give you the illusion of choice. You could put on the white, frilly lingerie she had chosen for you, or she could destroy the next planet the TARDIS landed on. You had chosen to put it on. 

 The lingerie gave you a pure, angelic look. It also embarrassed you immensely to be seen in it, even if just by her. Which was probably one of the reasons she had you wear it. While she wanted you to be comfortable she wanted you to not be able to leave more. You were a lot less likely to try and escape the TARDIS if you would be doing so in lingerie. It was an added incentive to stay in the TARDIS, to stay with her. 

Not that the TARDIS would open her doors to even give you the chance to escape. The TARDIS had made it clear that she would side with her and not you. The most the TARDIS would do for you now was make a comforting sound while you cried. Of course, that was only until she was able to reach you to comfort you. Having been told by the TARDIS that you were upset. Constantly monitored by both the living ship and the woman who owned her.

The doors to the TARDIS opened to let this "guest" in the moment the two of you entered the console room. Another thing that had stayed the same in design but was so very different.

The console room had always been warm when the Doctor was here. It had been rare for the room to reflect anger or despair. Now it was always darkly lit up in red, a sign of the woman’s anger with the universe. The only bright spot in the darkness of the room was where you stood. You were always bathed in light when you entered the room. It made you feel uncomfortable to be under this- this spotlight. She always poetically compared it to you being the only star in the vast, harshness of space. You were the only light in her universe. She would do anything to keep you in her orbit. It scared you to think of the atrocities she would commit to keep you close.

You could feel the stare of this "guest" on you as you keep your eyes on the floor. It felt strange to have someone else's eyes on you. You had been isolated for so long. Looking into the eyes of whoever she was about to kill was all you could do for them now. They deserved that much from you. It had been a very long time since you had tried to get her to spare someone. There was no chance of her letting whoever had dared to get this close to the TARDIS and try to get inside live. When you finally forced yourself to look up you couldn't contain yourself from your joyous exclamation.

"Jack!"

He could help you! He could end this living nightmare of being loved by this twisted facsimile of the Doctor.

"Well don't you look like an angel from the heavens!"

You blushed at his overly flirtatious tone. For a moment you had forgotten you were standing before him in nothing but frilly lingerie. You had been so happy to see someone who could help you leave that you had forgotten you weren’t alone. That was a mistake. You could practically hear the sneer she made.

She wasn't happy to see him. In fact, he may have made her even less pleased with his existence by openly flirting with you. Something you wouldn’t have thought possible before this moment.

"I suggest you keep your eyes to yourself unless you want me to rip them out and keep them in a jar."

"Oof. I had heard you changed Doc but I didn't quite believe it,” how Jack could keep his tone light and casual was beyond you.

You felt the blood drain from your face at the look she gave him. She hated being called Doctor. She had killed people for even implying she was the Doctor. She only tolerated you calling her Doctor because she loved you. She saw your confusion as unavoidable. She was still kind to you, only to you. Always conscientious of your comfort and safety.  Of course, you would struggle to understand that the Doctor was dead and gone when she showered you in kindness, love, and affection just like the Doctor had- before she had been destroyed. They even looked the same, well except for the hair. 

She had let the Doctor’s hair grow out from its short bob. The length leading past her shoulders, ending just above her chest. Something had happened to it to change it from its bright sunny blond to a dull brunette. You didn’t think she dyed it? But you had no idea how else the color could have changed. She hadn’t regenerated. Her body was still the same as when she had been your Doctor. Something that made your life so much harder and brought you so much grief. How could you look at her with hate when she looked like the person you had loved most in the universe?

"Jack... you've made a mistake coming to bother me. I might have left you alone. You're such an eyesore, I would have preferred to ignore your continued existence,” her voice was scathing as she ranted. At times her words could burn someone before she had the chance to burn their skin. “But no. You had to come and harass me."

The TARDIS doors closed with a slam that made you jump. She moved with quick precision around the console. Leaving you to stand alone bathed in light. She was methodical and efficient. There was no whimsical flair to her piloting now. You were terrified to know where she was bringing you. How she planned to kill Jack. She would kill Jack- it was as fixed a decision as he was a fixed point in time.

You looked at Jack to plead with him to leave. He needed to leave before she killed him. He had a vortex manipulator, he had a chance of escaping! The words died in your throat. His eyes were stern and set. Nothing would change his mind on whatever he had planned. You had to hope that she didn't find a way to kill him permanently. If anyone could end his immortality it would be her.

The TARDIS materialized.

With a snap of her fingers, the doors threw themselves open. The TARDIS was in the vacuum of space. Empty except for the light of distant stars. It must have been longer than you thought it had been since you had looked out into pure space. There was a hazy glow near the bottom of the door that you couldn’t remember seeing before. While it would be a horrible way to die- out in the vacuum of space. There was still a chance that Jack could be picked up by a roaming spaceship soon. If for some reason he couldn’t rely on his vortex manipulator. It was too much to hope that she would neglect to take care of it before she left him for certain death numerous times over.

Jack didn’t even look behind him to see what was outside the open doors.

“Smart choice to not turn your back on me. I would have stabbed you in the back before throwing you out into the star the TARDIS is above.”

Oh. That was why you could see a bright haze. It was a star. You tried not to think about what that could mean for Jack.

“I wonder, dear Jack if your mind will still be intact in thousands of years when this star finally dies and you can remain alive for more than a few moments?”

She didn’t let the two of you avoid thinking about what she was going to do. She stalked towards him until her face was mere inches from his. Gripping his arm, nails digging into his vortex manipulator and skin. His skin bleed from the punctures she caused before she tore his vortex manipulator off and threw it out into the star below.

“Can’t leave you with that cheating bit of tech. Don’t worry if your mind is still there when I come back to check on your mental state! I will have thought of a better way to permanently get rid of you by then.”

Jack didn’t break eye contact with you throughout the whole encounter. He stared into your eyes. Expression grim. You nodded as subtly as you could. If she had any idea of what the two of you were planing, what you were agreeing to she would put a stop to it. You understood. There was only one escape left for you.

In the moments that she threw him out of the TARDIS into the star below he acted. He pulled the gun out of nowhere. It didn’t matter to you where it had been kept. All that mattered was giving him a clear shot at you. It had to be quick. You took serval steps forward. Careful to move in a predictable way so that he didn’t mess up the shot. The noise of the gun firing was strangely quiet in comparison to her scream when she realized that you were going to be shot. 

She was moving towards you before you even felt the bullet pierce your skin. You almost didn’t feel it enter your side.

Your side.

He missed.

He missed. 

He missed. 

He MISSED.

HE MISSED. 

He missed.

He missed.

He missed.

You were dying but that wasn’t good enough. If you were still alive then she wouldn’t let you die. She wouldn’t let you escape her like this. She would never let you leave her. Jack had failed to kill you. You wouldn’t get to escape with his help. You likely would never get an opportunity to escape again.

She rushed over to you where you laid on the console room floor. You could see the golden glow beginning underneath the surface of her skin. You tried to thrash away from her. Even going as far as to try and press near the wound to try and get your blood to leave your body faster. You needed to die before she stopped you! It was hopeless to think you would succeed but you had to try.

You couldn’t get away. Her arms tightened around you. It hurt but it was very effective in stopping you from struggling. Pulling you into her embrace she shifted you so that she could hold you still with one arm. This was why you normally never fought her. She was so much stronger than you. The golden glow moved to the surface of her skin, reaching out. Like it was sentient, aching to be released.

A single hand hovered over the gunshot wound. The golden tendrils leaping from her hand to your skin. It reminded you of stardust trying to form into a new star. The skin it caressed welded itself back together as if it had never been harmed.

Her hovering hand pressed into the open wound bringing a strangled, pained noise passed your lips. She didn’t hesitate to shove her hand into your body. Your vision went white with the pain you were in. You didn’t even try to hold back your screams. She hated it when you were hurt so maybe your screams would stop this torture.

“Shhhh. Sh. Sh. Shhh,” she shushed you as she wiggled her fingers around inside of you. “I know it hurts but it will be over soon treasure. I just need to get the bullet out of you before I make it all better.”

Her fingers stopped moving around wildly inside of you. Once they had stilled she began to slowly remove her hand from inside of your side. You wanted her to hurry up and remove her hand. It hurt! Everything hurt! You just wanted this to be over.

Your body went limp in her arms once her hand was resting over top of your wound. You hadn’t even realized that your body had been tensed until it no longer was.

The soft glow of her hands as they healed you felt nice. It still burned but not as intensely as having her hand inside of your body had. In comparison, the burning of your cells as they regrew was relaxing.

“There we go all better.”

The kiss she pressed against your side where the wound had been would have made you smile if she was still your Doctor. You were so tired that you couldn’t find anything in yourself but indifference at the action. It was a blessing to not be missing the Doctor at the moment. A part of you knew that you should still be upset that your last hope of escape had failed. But you were so tired that you just didn't care. You just wanted to sleep. 

“Let’s get you to the medbay so you can rest treasure.”

Rising off the floor with you in her arms she carried you out of the console room and down the hall. The TARDIS didn't bother to move the room closer. You were completely healed and in no current danger of dying so there was no need. The further away you were from the TARDIS’s doors the better in both of their minds. You almost drifted off to sleep in her arms before she spoke.

“As much as I hate him Jack has pointed out something very important to me,” she dipped her head to press a soft kiss to your forehead. “You are too vulnerable. Even if I were to keep you in my arms for eternity there would still be a risk of you dying. The whole universe is my enemy now and they will eventually kill you.”

She kicked the door to the medbay open. Gently. You supposed she had entered your mind to know how exhausted you were and didn’t want to make too much noise and disturb you.  She carried you over to a soft bed laying you down with care. You were so tired, so tired. Was this what the Doctor had felt like after regenerating? You understood now why she had passed out in the middle of a crisis. You felt like you could pass out any minute now. She tucked you in and you were almost grateful. The warmth was a comfort to your sore and cold body.

“You could die so easily. I’ve lost so many people,” her voice sounded haunted, it sent a chill down your spine. 

She noticed and tucked you in more securely. Moving to grab something from a nearby cabinet. You thought perhaps another blanket but she seemed empty-handed when she came back. Maybe she just needed a moment to try and compose herself. You were too tied to care that much.

“One day I’m going to lose you. To old age, at someone else’s hands,” her voice cracked as if at any moment tears would spill from her eyes. 

You hadn’t known she was capable of crying anymore. You did your best to not let it inspire sympathy from you. She had committed so many atrocities. Destroyed more planets than the Master ever had. You couldn’t let yourself feel bad for her. But you were so tired and she reminded you so much of your Doctor.

“Unless I make you like me -timeless- I will lose you too.”

The cruel smile she gave you was your only warning. She probably thought it was reassuring. Moving quick as a viper she injected something into you. It felt cold. Like ice freezing you in place. You wanted more than anything to throw yourself off the bed and run far away into the heart of the TARDIS. But you couldn’t move an inch. Your breath hitched. You were at her mercy and she didn’t have any.

“Small temporary paralysis drug. I need to keep you still so I can work.”

“Please. Please Val-,” you choked down the sobs that desperately wanted to escape as you realized what she was going to do to you. “Valeyard. Don’t do this to me. I don’t want this. Please. I- I- I don’t want this.”

Sobs left your body. Had you been capable of moving you would have been shaking with the intensity of your cries. She was going to make you immortal like her. Completely timeless. You would never escape her. You would never die. She tenderly brushed your hair away from your face. Wiping away your tears for a few moments. Your tears didn’t stop, they just kept spilling from your eyes.

“Normally I would give you anything you desired in the universe my treasure. I would never refuse you anything. Except this. The only thing I refuse to give you. A way to leave me.”

She pulled away so that she could get what she needed so that you would be with her forever. You tried with all your might to move. To flee this fate. Nothing changed- you were still frozen to the spot. The gold color of the syringe she brought over was so bright it was blinding. Like looking into the sun.

“While it may not be a gift you want right now you’ll thank me for it eventually. You’ll never age. Never die!” She was trying to reassure you but all that you felt was growing dread as more tears streamed down your face. “You won’t even have to deal with a face change. I wouldn’t make you suffer through an identity crisis like that my treasure.”

Once it was injected into your veins you felt violently sick. Your insides twisted to the point that you were sure that her hands were inside you again. Twisting your organs to wring out the liquid they held. You screamed in pain. Everything hurt. Everything burned! You just wanted it to stop!

The Valeyard lifted you up from the bed, slipping in behind you. Holding you and trying to comfort you with her touch. You couldn’t hear her voice over your screams but it didn’t matter the Valeyard just spoke into your mind instead. Soft coos and sweet words meant to comfort you.

Everything was okay. Nothing would ever hurt you again. She would love you forever, her dear treasure.

You would never be able to escape her now.

[anangelicday-mrwolf]

Wolfsbane : Noblesse Fanfic (post-ending)

(previous chapter)

Chapter 65 – What I Truly Must Do

“Sir?” 

Takio adjusted his gaze into the direction that Yuigi’s eyes and voice were headed to. 

A white-haired man dressed in a hospital gown wordlessly gave them an acknowledging look, right after which he returned to his play-meerkat stance. 

The course of his action was as swift as a lightning, enough to convince some spectators, if there were to be more besides the two visitors, that he was a man who knew nothing of manners. 

Hence Takio and Yuigi mimicked his behavior out of curiosity, and understanding lit across their faces. 

They happened to be standing in the area within the KSA infirmary, at the corridor with the wall partially made of glass for bystanders and passersby to observe what is taking place inside. 

And Tao was tending to several civilians sent to KSA on the other side of the wall. 

Takio and Yuigi were in the middle of their search for the rest of the RK, to discuss how they should wrap up the calamity at Seoul. 

Since they were unaware that Rael had a small business with Yuhyung in the ICU, they sought Tao. 

They have found him, only to remain immobile in their places. 

It was not because Tao was putting up a show of “how-to-make-a-back-and-forth-marathon-in-a-hospital,” doing nearly as thrice as much work than others, checking up on patients and assigning drugs and orchestrating treatments. 

Their eyes were locked upon a child. 

Back when the gas launched by Tao finally put an end to the disaster at Seoul, the 3rd Elder was lying flat on the earth as an aftermath. 

But he was more concerned about the well-being of the bodies around him, and on the other hand he pled that they send the fastest among them to the site he had in mind. 

Not long after, Rael retrieved from the coordinates he provided a girl and a woman the former addressed as her mom, whose blood pressures were being measured by Tao. 

“If it does not concern you, may I ask what is your relation to that girl?” 

Asked Takio, who remembered how the 3rd Elder was visibly relieved after he was shipped to KSA, to witness that Rael performed his commission to perfection. 

Could they be a family? 

Yuigi was also waiting, her question tugging at her nerves. 

“If the relation you speak of is a biological type, I assure you that me, that girl, and her mother does not share any sort of genetic bond.”

“...Really? Then why would you ask me – ask Rael to prioritize that girl and her mother in collection?” 

“...I owe that kid a debt.” 

“A debt...?” 

“...If I were give you the details...” 

At then 3rd Elder’s lips emitted a poof that was most certainly meant to be a smirk, making Takio and Yuigi wonder what in the world could the man be planning to tell them. 

“I’d say that kid is my master in shopping.” 

Two pairs of eyes, one cyan and one light olive, rippled with confusion at the series of words that they deemed impossible to hear from 3rd Elder, whether it is a jest or not. 

Their confusion grew harder as they ascertained that his claim was as unfeigned as it could be. 

The 3rd Elder was wearing a smile deriving from his heart as he regarded the kid. 

He was truly grateful that she was safe. 

And he was truly abominating himself for what the girl and her mother had to go through. 

*****

By the time Frankenstein took to his mouth the wolfsbane tonic that he changed the components of, the 3rd Elder was sprinting out of his island, wrenching himself by force from the purgatory of his heart. 

Snapping at himself that a bowl of water once toppled is no longer worthy of carrying, he did not cease until he joined Helga in Seoul. 

It’d be preferable to have our enemies learn that you are now with us as late as possible. So for now, I must ask you to stay here. We’d appreciate it if you could back us up when you determine it is necessary. 

After the brief briefing, 3rd Elder assumed his position on top of a building not very far from KSA. 

When the cataclysm Helga mentioned broke in the city, he observed everything from where he was standing. 

During the briefing, he was told that everything was simply one of very small steps that will help them unlock the new beginning of the Union.

In fact, that was what he had been lecturing himself even before the briefing. 

‘But why...? Just why would I feel this way...?’ 

Ever since his lodging at Frankenstein’s island, he had been tormented by sense of loss and melancholy stasis that he could not fathom the end to. 

He had given his all to the Union, for mankind’s evolution and growth, and ultimately for mankind’s peace and welfare. 

Union has been his alpha and omega, the commanding key in his every steps and choices and words and actions. 

Alas, now nobody could ever promise that Union will have a future to look up to. 

Instead he had accustomed himself to the ordinary life that had been perfusing into his days and nights; however, he chose to shake himself off from such life to finally lend a hand to the rise of Union back to heaven. 

But why? 

He knew that some sacrifices are a must, as he and Helga intended to critically sabotage the force that must be gone for Union’s revival. 

Besides, he had hundreds of experiences in watching, apprehending, administering, and forgetting such sacrifices during his time at the Union.

Nonetheless, he could feel his heart moaning as he took in how civilians erratically deformed and disfigured were spraying and spreading blood about them. 

He had to fight an iron-hard urge to abandon his post, against which he miraculously managed to prevail as victorious.

‘Don’t you dare. Now there’s no going back. You can only go forward. You must.’ 

The man hammered his lips with his teeth, forceful enough to draw blood, and even shut his eyes tight, until a horror-stricken voice shrill enough to rend anybody’s heart menacingly pierced his eardrums.

His eyes snapped open at the suggestion from the voice that its owner was no older than ten. 

When the breath that was stuck in his throat restarted its circulation, he had already hopped onto the street into a sprint. 

Soon enough he could lock on the origin of the shriek, and his heart twisted as if it were struck by a meteor. 

“Mommy...! Mommy...!!!” 

A girl was dripping tears at how her mother, as loving as any mother would be just a moment ago, was growling at her. 

As much as she was shuddering in terror, her natural-born affinity to the center of her world forbid her from refuge. 

Nevertheless, a parent who lost her abilities to tell her daughter from her foes revealed her sharpened teeth and lunged towards her. 

At the same time, 3rd Elder hollered at the top of his lungs.

“NOOOO!!!” 

Instantly his eyes flashed, keeping his power just about right to keep the woman fixed on the ground. 

Yet his power was far too great for a puny girl to take, and she fell to her feet, to safely stumble onto her savior who had dashed right away to her side. 

And his eyes started during the course of his anxious, hurried inspection. 

‘You...?!’ 

Fate could be cruel at the most unappreciated moment, thought 3rd Elder, who was too hasty just before to study the profile of the girl. 

The girl was his little helping hand. 

The girl who taught him how to use a self-checkout machine, on the day when he first met Helga in this country – the day when he was almost drowned in the questions about the Union, Union’s purpose, and Union’s future as he stood in the middle of ordinary people busy with their ordinary lives. 

The girl whose face was marred with tears, shocked beyond her sanity that her mother got very close to ripping her head from her shoulders. 

The girl who was nearly made victim to the bloodshed that none other than 3rd Elder himself was part of. 

‘She knows nothing about my world... She has nothing to do with my world. She has done nothing wrong. And because of me, this girl...!’ 

The man’s head drooped, boneless, until a cacophony from humans attempting to maul him hit his senses. 

Pushing them away with a single glance, 3rd Elder could at last take in the view surrounding him. 

A wife and a husband were chomping on each other’s limbs, tramping over the bag of fried chicken that was supposed to serve as their late-night snack.

One of the duo of students on their way home had his shoulder bitten by his friend, who was equally spilling blood from his arm nailed with a row of teeth. 

A group of young men , strangers to each other, were scrambled into a ball of flesh and blood. 

They were all innocent people, who should have had no business at all with what 3rd Elder and Helga had planned. 

‘This is for the sake of mankind’s evolution and growth, and ultimately for peace and welfare...? This is the inevitable gateway to Union’s return, future, and purpose...?’ 

The white-haired elder recounted what Helga guaranteed him. 

At the same time, he beheld the catastrophe no different from what he had familiarized himself with at Union, or perhaps worse, considering how these were all ordinary people. 

And slowly his head began to turn sideways.

Once. 

Twice. 

And again and again. 

‘No... This is wrong!’

Finally the realization of what he had unleashed upon Seoul – in reality, what he had been endeavoring to ignore – crushed upon his shoulders. 

Unconscious of what he was doing, 3rd Elder held his head low, to gaze at the girl who was still listless in his arms. 

He also held in his eyes a tiny lollipop she was clutching in her fingers even now, probably a gift from her mother. 

A sight that pushed a cloud of heat and moisture to the corners of his eyes. 

A child perfectly aged to fool around, have fun, and gorge herself on a bunch of sweets was caught in a night of horror like nothing else. 

All because of him. 

‘This isn’t what I wanted...! I...!’ 

This isn’t what you wanted? 

Don’t play innocent. You’re the one who brought this upon her.

The voice within him yelled into his head, as if it were waiting for the moment, and 3rd Elder’s entire body shook in dreadful tremor. 

‘What have I done...?!’ 

He almost lost his breath, nearly swept away in the tsunami of regret; however, he persevered like never before to still and keep himself standing.

Sealing his lips, shedding blood as the result of his ruthless mincing, he started to move. 

He stacked all the modified humans in the largest crossroads, and he ran into Yuigi in the middle, seemingly trying her best to find an exit from this situation, and they shared what they knew, before he handed her a spare communicator he had. 

He did not forget to pick up the girl and her mother, to safely tuck them away from the rest. 

When he managed to reach Tao and learn his plan, he did not wait to urge him to do it, despite Tao’s warning that he could lose his power. 

He figured it is a must-have sacrifice.

In fact, he did not care if he were to lose his powers. 

His powers were what represented him as the elder of the Union. 

They were the most powerful, essentially the only connection he had to the Union. 

Yet here he was, willing to lose – no, willing to give up on his powers. 

For he knew they were not what truly mattered.

‘How I wish I learned sooner what truly matters... What Union truly had to do... What I truly must do.’ 

Which was why he did not regret at all that he might lose his powers.

Which was why he accepted it as natural as the sun rising from the east. 

Which was what he was ready to do in order to pay for what he had done, if it could be paid for. 

Feeling how his heart was being steeled in wholeness, somewhere between guilt and relief, 3rd Elder smiled until Tao’s missile landed.

*****

Knock, knock. 

Tao drummed the glass Takio and Yuigi were also looking into. 

In notice of the sound, 3rd Elder scrubbed the smile off his face, to whom Tao waved his hand in invitation. 

“What is it?” 

“Someone’s looking for you, sir.” 

I don’t think there is anyone who would require my presence, thought 3rd Elder as he followed Tao, and he flinched upon reaching his destination.

“Mister!” 

The girl jumped off her bed and threw her arms around his waist, not giving any hint whether her recognition is based upon their encounter at the market or from her vague memory about her savior. 

The man froze, unresponsive, feeling too guilty to show any welcoming gesture, and the girl rummaged her pocket. 

“Here!” 

From the girl’s pocket was revealed a lollipop, the one that she was holding during the disaster at Seoul, and 3rd Elder’s eyes momentarily bulged in surprise. 

“...Is this for me?” 

“Yeah! Mr. Handsome over there (At then 3rd Elder’s hesitant, unconvinced eyes shifted towards Tao very shortly, who was smirking in glory and pride) told me that you took away the bad stuff in me and my mom! So you can have it!” 

He knew she would otherwise hate to give away a single treat, given her age. 

He knew he should thank her at once, but he spoke of something else, completely barred from innocence in the presence of the girl. 

“Are you sure you want to give this to me?” 

“I’m okay! I can ask my mommy to buy me new one!” 

Exclaimed the girl, until her face grew a shade closer to a frown. 

“So I want to get out of hospital fast. I want to go have picnic with mommy. And buy candies.” 

Her spectator’s lips were ironed taut at an instant, as he stared at how the girl pouted with her cheeks puffed up. 

However, he soon placed his hand on her head and beamed at her.

“Don’t worry. You’ll soon get to do that.” 

“Really? You promise?!” 

“Promise. I promise you.” 

You will get to do what you want to. What you have to. 

You will get to enjoy your ordinary life, as you should. 

“Luckily, the kid is practically clean of the effect of the gas, probably because she is not completely grown up. Of course, I’m keeping my eyes on her just in case. No need to worry.” 

Quoted Tao for the 3rd Elder, as they walked away from the girl and her mother. 

“By the way... I’m hoping to run more thorough tests on you. I know you went through the most basic ones, but you need to go through ‘check-ups’ check-ups to figure out how much damage that gas caused upon...” 

“Sure.” 

Tao and Takio and Yuigi, who were waiting for them to finish, gaped at the 3rd Elder, their eyes wide open, for they expected him to decline at least once, genuinely or not. 

“Uh... Sure. Why not?” 

“And make it happen ASAP, please.” 

“Uh... Yeah. Sure thing. But why did you suddenly change your mind?” 

“...Let’s just say there’s something I must do, before I die.” 

The three listeners silently flipped but said nothing, seeing how he was so very blasé for a person who was expecting death. 

They could only tail him with teetering steps, as he led the way to the lab. 

And thus things were projected and progressed in order, and by the time the examinations and treatments were complete on people sent to KSA and hospitals under association with KSA, the one person they had been waiting for finally made his comeback. 

At last Frankenstein returned to Korea. 

(next chapter)

This chapter shows the process through which 3rd Elder changed his mind and sided with the RK, as he has been getting familiarized with ordinary life and starting to question Union’s purpose and existence. Like I mentioned in my previous chapters, in the early seasons Noblesse focused on the value of ordinary life, so I wanted to highlight this through 3rd Elder and his characterization in this fic. Now his story has been almost wrapped up, and I have a few more stories to unravel for this fic. I’ll do my best until the final chapter, and thanks for staying with me so far! :)

[ymiwritesstuff]

Return

Oki once again I suddenly got an idea that I wanted to post asap so apologies if this feels idk rushed? But anyways I hope you enjoy!

Jojo’s Bizarre Adventure Part 7: Steel Ball Run

Gyro Zeppeli x Fem!Reader

Summary: Ever since Gyro sailed all the way to America in order to take part in the Steel Ball Run race, you had been eagerly waiting for his return.

Notes: Angst, SPOILERS FOR PART 7

Gyro’s emerald green eyes lit up and his lips curl into a wide grin that shows his golden teeth when his gaze falls on the envelope in his hands. With an excited chuckle his drops everything he was just about to do and sits down on his sleeping bag. Johnny glances at his friend a smile of his own apparent on his features as he has a pretty good guess about the contents of that envelope.

“Another one?” The blond asks, laying on his sleeping bag with his head leaning against his hand. The scene before him was nothing new as Gyro had received letters like this one many times in the past and judging by the Italian’s expression, he had been waiting a long time for this one. 

“Yep.” He says as he opens the envelope, carefully enough so he doesn’t tear apart the letter itself, but swiftly so he can begin reading the contents of it. He had been waiting for so long to receive a response to his previous letter and the excitement bubbling inside is so intense it feels like it’s about to burst out. He can’t help it though. This letter had been delivered to him all the way from his home country and once he got the envelope open, Gyro wasted no time in reading it:

Ciao, Handsome!

How’s the race been treating you?

Upon reading the first lines of text Gyro’s smile only grows when he notices the familiar cursive handwriting of his lover he had seen so many times throughout Steel Ball Run. He missed you so much and wished he could see you in person but for now had to rely on this distant form of communication. He didn’t complain, though as frankly any contact with you was enough.

Good, I hope, you know how worried I get. I can’t help it! I love you after all.. When I read your last letter and you wrote about all that crazy shit you’ve been through I.. I couldn’t help but to feel a bit worried. I know what you’re going to say, “I promised to come back after I win this race, cara. And I won’t break that promise”.

He lets out a quiet chuckle upon reading your words. You knew him so well. The letters you sent him made him feel that familiar warmth he felt whenever he had been in your presence before his admittedly painful departure. He remembers you shedding painful tears as you watched his ship slowly move closer to the horizon. As much as he hated seeing you sad, he knew he had to do something in order to save the innocent boy’s life. However he didn’t leave before promising to return home as soon as he grasped victory.

I laughed just now, you know. And it only made me miss your laugh. I miss you so much, Gyro. I think of you every day and I can’t wait for you to come back. Honestly, a part of me wants to hop on a ship and sail to America just so I can see you again. But based on the things you’ve told me.. Perhaps it would be better for me to just stay here and try to wait for you patiently. I just want you to be safe. I don’t know what I’d do if something happened to you.

Gyro frowns his brows as his eyes scan the text before him, his fingers lightly brushing over it. He had told you about the bizarre events he experienced during the race quite openly, but a part of him wonders if it was alright to bring you so much worry with the dangerous tales. On the other hand, he had promised to always be honest with you and thought it best not to sugarcoat any of the events that occurred. Gyro was sure you respected his honesty, but it still, he couldn’t help but to question it.

But I believe in you. I know you will return with the prize money in your hands and the joy of victory by your side. I will cheer you on, even from the other side of the world. You will prevail, I am certain of it. I just can’t allow myself to forget that so easily. I know it’s dangerous and I know anything could happen, but I have faith in you, Gyro. I love you so much and I can’t wait to hold you in my arms again. Please, take care of yourself and stay safe. I’ll be waiting for you, Gyro.

Love,

(Name).

Gyro smiles to himself, your letter being able to awaken so many emotions inside of him. At this point they didn’t feel like mere letters anymore. Whenever he read them, he could hear your voice and feel your emotions, which was why he had saved every single letter he had received from you. They were like pieces of a puzzle that would combine into something bigger when all of this was over. They were memories that both of you shared and cherished. With each passing day he would think about you. Your stunning smile, your beautiful (E/C) orbs that put the stars to shame and those soft (H/C) locks he had so often ran his fingers through. He missed having you next to him, but knew that this grueling time away from you would all be worth it, because when he finally returned he’d get to pull you into an embrace he had been yearning for so long.

With a sigh, Gyro folds the letter and immediately begins to write a response on a piece of paper. There was always some delay with the delivery due to the great distance between you two so Gyro made sure to always begin writing as soon as possible. Johnny looks at his friend and smiles to himself. Gyro was often stressed and tense due to everything that had been going on, but would show signs of relief and happiness whenever he wrote his letters or read one of yours. It always managed to put a smile on the blond jockey’s face. Gyro was madly in love with you, and that love would carry him through whatever the race dared to throw at him.

~

When your hands touch the fresh paper of the envelope, you immediately sit down and begin to open it. It had been a good month of sending letters back and forth just like usual and Gyro was sure that it would all be over soon. Things had gotten quite a bit hectic and to quote the Italian’s own words; “It’s a shitstorm over here, but we’ll get through it.” Reading his letters in which he told you about all that was going on was like reading a story, a very dangerous, bizarre story. But it helped you to feel connected to him in a way, as if you were there with him, experiencing those events.

Upon opening the envelope and unfolding the letter your brows frown at the unusually short length of the content. It was odd considering just how long his previous letters have been and a deep part of you starts feeling something akin to concern. But that feeling quickly fades away when you start reading:

Ciao, beautiful!

Listen, I’m gonna need to keep this one a bit short simply because it won’t be long before you can actually hear my words instead of having to read them. Yep, you read right, cara. Everything is going to be over soon. The President has gotten a bit out of control with the corpse but me and Johnny are gonna take him down! Soon it will all be over and I can finally come home to you and hold you tight.

You smile at the text, relieved to hear that everything was well. Gyro had mentioned the President’s plans and initially it did hit you with a wave of concern and worry but with his letters came a reassuring wave of relief as according to his words, things had been turning for the better.

I know how much you worry, but I assure you, I will kick Valentine’s ass AND win the race so I can happily return home. Return to you. I miss you so much, you don’t even know, but the fact that this won’t last for long keeps me going. You keep me going, (Name). I can’t wait to hold you, kiss you, hug you.. I can’t wait to see you, cara.

Your reading gets interrupted when a single tear you didn’t even notice drops on the paper. The words stick onto you like glue and caused a storm of strong emotions to erupt within you. Dammit, Gyro! How dare he make you cry?! You giggle to yourself and quickly wipe your tears and continue reading:

And perhaps.. We can discuss the future. Because I want it to be with you, (Name). A future with you sounds like heaven and I really hope you feel the same way. Well, we will have time to discuss this when I return. But, feel free to consider it! If you ask me, a little Zeppeli running around would make me the happiest man in the world! But yeah, we’ll have time for that. Take care, my love and until we see each other again, 

ti amo.

Gyro

The amount of tears rolling down your cheeks only increases after you finish reading his letter. Those tender, loving words he used were so rare, but they managed to cling to you and you wished nothing more than to feel the man himself next to you. The thought of having a family together with Gyro filled you with so much joy and warmth it felt like torture not having him here to make that dream a reality. Not yet, at least.

Soon, your long wait would be rewarded. Because once this would all be over, you could finally live with the man you loved so dearly. His voice, his eyes oh, how you missed them all and you could hardly wait any longer. Patience was key here. He would return, just as he promised and you’d never have to be without him ever again. 

And he did return. But not in the way you were hoping. And when your (E/C) eyes that were filled with joyous tears, meant to express your happiness in finally seeing Gyro after so long land on that wooden box that Johnny was dragging behind him with a dark, sorrow-filled look dulling his blue eyes, those tears froze for a split second, only to be filled with devastation.

He promised. And he didn’t break his promise. But he broke you. Because upon his return, he didn’t hold you, kiss you, hug you, instead, you were met with a lifeless corpse that once belonged to the man you loved. Your entire world crumbled, it felt as if your soul had been dragged out of your body with him. This couldn’t be happening. But the sight before you didn’t lie. And no matter how much you cried, wailed, sobbed or screamed, deep down you knew, Gyro never returned. 

And the last memory you had of him, was a letter that painfully reminded you of a dream that never became a reality.