#but he's insane.......he's 100% the reason why they put out these crazy things like how does he do it...with thumbs!!!

[vigilskeep]

I've been going through your Keir Hawke tag because the character absolutely fascinates me and I keep seeing glimpses of Varric and Anders' friendship in that world state (especially something you mentioned about the book originally going to be about Anders) and it's making me feral

What do you think Varric and Anders' relationship is like? What does Varric think about Keir refusing to kill Anders and running off with him?

the thing about varric and keir is that even if they manage to get along in their way, their relationship is basically one of necessity. keir never trusted him in act 1, and varric vastly preferred bethany’s gentleness to keir’s whole uh attitude, but after the deep roads expedition they for various reasons both feel a level of guilt and obligation that sticks them together. you might say they’re more like family than friends, in the sense that with family you don’t have a choice. whereas varric and anders are actually friends, they get along, they joke together. varric finds anders hard to deal with in the later acts but they’re still at the hanged man together, varric is still trying to reach out in his way during banters, anders is trying to leave his possessions to him, etc. and that’s not like with varric and keir where something specific and insane happened to lock them together. he genuinely just likes anders

and varric is creatively interested in anders from the beginning; he’s talking about writing “an epic poem about a hopelessly romantic apostate” in literally the first banter they have. (why did he say hopelessly romantic. why did he say that.) i don’t think it occurs to him that keir even might be material for the protagonist of anything until... maybe the arishok duel, by which time iirc he’s already publishing his serial inspired by, like, aveline and donnic of all people. before that, keir is pretty obvious rags-to-riches plot inspiration but tbh i think varric thought that part was a bit cliché and that even if he did want it, he’d swap out the actual character for someone more likeable, lmao. god knows how or if he was thinking of writing the love interest in the anders-focused version of the book

i don’t think it would have occurred to varric that keir would spare anders and run off into the sunset with him. varric has a very surface-level read on keir, he kind of just sees the red hawke front. i think it’s umm... how do i put this. i think it’s integral to the severity of varric’s reaction to anders in dai that it doesn’t make sense in his head that he himself was more angry than keir, and that he was closer to agreeing with sebastian, the guy who went on to attack kirkwall. i think a lot of people including himself act “out-of-character” in that moment from varric’s perspective, and he finds that very distressing. the rewrite of the book that suddenly centres keir is also him rewriting his memories until everything “fits”. he never liked anders that much, it was hawke, hawke was always really the protagonist and varric has always been on his side, incidentally varric also totally always hated sebastian and is nothing like him, also anders’ actions are 100% sudden and crazy and varric’s anger over them is 100% normal impersonal and justified, etc etc. (to be clear i’m not saying this affects everything we see in da2 and that anders is Maligned in it or whatever. varric’s narrative in da2 is not the same as the book. a very significant amount of the truth slips back in when he has to talk so long, and talk for his life. anders’ sympathetic qualities and their friendship, for example, i can’t imagine that comes up a lot that’s in a book that canonically doesn’t even mention what happened to anders after the explosion.)

varric does not feel particularly normal about any part of the life anders and keir are currently living and he does not like to think about it. he had to rewrite the book into a tragedy to make sense of everything, which conflicts upsettingly with the reality that those two are... honestly simply not tragic. obviously they went through hell. but the mage rebellion is achieved. anders and keir are both visibly better in body and mind for being out of kirkwall. they do get married! it was varric’s home (a city keir hated) that got destroyed (by anders). and varric’s the one left on his own. and the one audibly kind of miserable and guilty and homesick and generally Doing Bad during a lot of inquisition. i think he finds that comparison very hard to even think about. it’s easier to see and analyse tragedy in other people like an impartial observer, than reckon with the fact that it was actually you it happened to and the people you miss and blame and feel bad for in equal measure are kind of just... doing fine? (without you. better the moment they left your city behind.)

(note: i am never arguing “the book was meant to be about anders” as a general headcanon, i just know it to be true in my worldstate)

[itstivan]

I gotta say it.. yell at me all you want but truth hurts…

If Aiden and Ashlyn didn’t have as much chemistry with each other.. yall would’ve shipped Ashler/Tylyn..

For some odd reason a lot of sbg fans absolutely hate taylyn and I have no clue why.. I think people are just afraid of sapphics /j

But anyways, if Aiden wasn’t in the equation yall would ship Tyler and Ashlyn because 1. they’re a mlw ship and most people prefer hetero ships and 2. enemies/rivals to lovers.

People eat this trope up. And anyone who says they don’t is a liar.

Tyler and Ashlyn have SO much tension that you can’t help but ship them. People are always saying “they fight all the time and hate each other! They’re so toxic!” Mf you ship bakudeku you cannot be talking. (for the record your honor, that’s a joke.)

But in all seriousness..

Have you SEEN the shift in their relationship from the start to present? They go from bickering and hesitant with each other, to being close friends that care for each other.

LIKE HELLO?? Do you see how worried Ashlyn is? (Granted anyone would be worried to see their friend bleeding) But Tyler replies to Ashlyn saying he would want some words of encouragement FROM HER. You know.. LIKE THE TIME SHE WAS SAVING HIM FROM THE TREE??

Ashler is a CLASSIC enemies/rivals to lovers. Plus who doesn’t bicker with their partner from time to time over silly things?

One of the sole reasons Tyler freaked out at Ashlyn is because of anxiety and their whole situation. Who wouldn’t go crazy in a situation like that? But instead of expressing it in a healthy way, he took it out on Ashlyn because he couldn’t think of anything else. And yeah that’s shitty, but he learns his lesson.

Tyler has made so much progress and his character redemption was BEAUTIFUL. You have to remember, he’s just a 14 year old kid in his freshman year of high school, who wouldn’t be scared shitless? He wanted to make sure his sister was safe and didn’t know what to do.

Ashlyn puts him in his place though, and I think that’s where he starts to change for the better.

But you can see the gradual changes in their relationship as the comic progresses, going from tense to comfortable being near each other. FP SPOILERS: i mean hello they literally cuddle with each other in ep 75.

And don’t get me wrong, I can see why some people would be a little iffy, but the same people who are iffy are the same people who ship the most WILD ships..

So if you’re gonna hate on me for shipping something other than your main ship.. PACK IT UP 🗣️

But fr though, if Red didn’t unintentionally write so much chemistry with Aiden and Ashlyn, and you didn’t prefer taylyn, you would 100% ship Ashler. There’s this one blog on here that gives perfect reasons as to why you should ship Ashler as well and they say it PERFECTLY.

It’s insanity it took some of yall this long to finally start shipping them, as a person who’s been shipping them since the beginning of 2023 😭😭

anyways i’m super happy people are shipping ashler and YOU SHOULD TOO!!! /nf

[omghallucinations]

aspects and chart patterns for ateez

number one reason why i decided to write this: mingi has a grand cross.

bro this chart goes crazy. a grand cross is a SHIT TON of energy. act right now, think NEVER (or later, obsessively, full of regrets). for mingi the 4 players are uranus "manic pixie dream girl" (14 aquarius), mars "she's cute but a psycho" (15 scorpio), sun "ME! by taylor swift" (16 leo) and saturn "i work so i can go home" (16 taurus). they're all in fixed signs so that can be a rough ride! these guys ain't gonna move. it's easy to not make any progress because he feels really stuck here. the fire is blazing away, but the walls are staying put. it creates a fixed idea of how things are, a relentless energy that can eat itself. terrified of losing security. strength becomes an identity. he's both 100% always sure he is right about everything and staggeringly aware of the multiplicity of life and that no one knows what truth is, since a grand cross has one of each element so the energy is split.

it's like

his sun, in its rulership in leo, so very strong: have you SEEN ME LATELY, i want to LOVE you and come let me SHINE MY RAYS UPON YOU and you can be like wow you're so pretty!! and i'll be like yeah i am!! you're so pretty too!! i love expressing myself through dance and music!! i am 100% embracing my identity i can't be anyone other than me!! (this depends on his rising) versus uranus in aquarius, also rulership if you do modern rulers which i don't usually: uhHHHHH girl. being different is really. hard. also i don't want to join the party and i don't believe in that and also i want to leave and this is giving me anxiety. have you considered that the self is a construct and constantly changing???

meanwhile, on the other side of his chart:

mars strong in its rulership in scorpio if you do traditional rulers, which i do: i'm so sexy and intense and everyone looks at me all the time. i want to act boldly and with power and sexuality and loyalty and i'm not afraid of anyone have you considered that! if you cross me you'll fucking regret it. i'm full of deep powerful desires and i want to act to achieve them!! versus saturn in taurus: sit the hell down and be responsible, you asshole. stop doing that. stop thinking that. stop desiring that. it's not helpful. stop wanting that it's not practical. i'm the ensemble cast in stick to the status quo!! no no no! stick to the stuff you know!!

which produces these big bursts of passionate action and not a lot of follow through. there's also sub arguments, which are fun too.

sun square saturn: father saturn is always haranguing the sun/self/ego that he has to PRODUCE that he has to SUCCEED or what is the POINT, and sometimes the sun is like fuck it... i give up ballet is YOUR dream dad

father saturn is also haranguing gay cousin uranus which has the fun effect of making him both insanely stubborn/rigid and insanely chaotic at the same time

uranus is like the devil on the shoulder of mars encouraging it to do more, be more extreme, move on, hit da BRICKS

mars passes a lot of that message on to the sun, being like you gotta be move and make a decision right now and who gives a shit what the consequences are! let's jump off this building!!

thank god mingi has an "easy opposition" planet that offshoots his saturn-mars opposition! depending on his birth time his moon likely sextiles saturn and trines mars to some degree. the way out of this all or nothing mentality is through his cancer moon (so many of ateez have cancer moons). his moon is basically like... girl go home. learn to garden or knit or something. get out of the club girl what are u doing

san's mars opposes his jupiter exactly. no like. exactly exactly. 0.00 orb which i almost have never seen in my life. so she's a strong and intense opposition! the two sides of the seesaw:

his mars in scorpio: i'll die for you, i'll kill for you, i have deeply internalized so much red hot rage that i am afraid of being angry but also unable to not be angry. haha i'm fine, he said, his eyes shooting fire. let's go deep and dark right now, i can handle any weight and get though anything also if you betray me i will never forget so write that down, i love two things powerful soul-penetrating intimacy and holding on to my grudges. do you remember that one time you did that one thing because i do versus... taurus jupiter: you know what i love? nature. humanity. my ideals. bro you're really harshing my mellow so bad. i want to focus on acquiring my cool items and comfort. have you tried just like... letting go? transform yourself into a more benevolent being! i'm managing my money, other people's money, whatever, my investments go crazy and i have great intimate partnerships and that's enjoy to bring me fulfillment and joy :)

thankfully his leo venus is there! leo venus trines his scorpio mars and sextiles his jupiter, softening each one with that optimistic romance, the creativity, the passion. venus is not always acting perfectly--she sure can be an egomaniac--but it can certainly smooth out the rough edges of mars and connects the two extremes. it's also in the 12th, the pisces-y house, so it's sort of quieter, more introverted, very compassionate and sympathetic to others.

hongjoong also has an almost exact opposition (0.07, so close!) with a softening planet to the side.

jupiter in pisces: have you ever thought about humanity? we have a responsibility to help the less fortunate! do you think ghosts are real? do you want to join a cult? also i'm so sad :( about people being sad :(. also i really really want to spend all my money! right now!! it's fine i'll make more money whatever, what is important is look at my beautiful gorgeous items (2nd house). versus... mars in virgo: gotta WORK. gotta make that mONEY make PURSE. and the way you do that is by killing yourself working :). i can look at every situation logically and critically and i will cross every t and dot every i in the entire world by thursday at the latest. god i love solving weird problems so much. yes i will be reachable by phone :) or text :) or slack :) please feel free to zoom :) no i will not be on vacation ever in my life :)

thankfully he can bridge that gap with his venus in scorpio in the 9th house (think art/values/beauty/romance that is unafraid of darkness and eager to get to the heart of shit often about philosophy/religion/art/travel). his sun and mc also contribute to that--so his ego/identity and his career. they trine/sextile the two planets themselves, just not exactly.

on the other side of that opposition, we have... a t-square :(. his gemini moon in the 5th house squares both jupiter and mars. a t-square is often like--bro you've repressed some shit but here's some red hot raw potential if u work through it. it can help and hurt, like all aspects. the moon makes sure the chart is like HEY. LOOK AT MARS AND JUPITER. THERE IS A BIG DIFFERENCE BETWEEN MARS AND JUPITER RIGHT. it anchors the difference. it can mean his emotions go zoom zoom from one side to the other--moon/jupiter of benevolence, so many feelings, philosophy, the meaning of life on one side, and then on the other side i have NEVER had a FEELING in my LIFE how DARE you i gotta WORK and THINK ABOUT STUFF what do you mean "don't intellectualize" and "feel my feelings" LMAO sounds fake.

seonghwa interestingly enough has no oppositions at all between planets--he's not going to seesaw within himself. he's gonna make a choice and not understand why other people are making such a big deal out of it. i bet he doesn't even have an internal monologue, lucky bitch. goddamnit.

he does have some interesting conjunctions--he has an exact conjunction with saturn and mars in aries in the 10th house. saturn gives mars a capricorn-ish, earth sign flavor. the way he asserts himself is going to be logical, practical, he does not like change, there's a lot of anxiety with action. this is amplified by them being in the 10th house. saturn gets a boost here because the 10th house is the capricorn house--it likes it here. they are more loosely conjunct his retrograde mercury (some trouble communicating) and his sun. they all get that same practical capricorn flavor.

mars in aries: you cannot kill me in any way that matters :) capricorn in aries: hm. technically. they can. what if, for example, your local coffee shop rearranges the furniture mars in aries: 1 fear

his cancer rising (22 cancer) exactly squares mars and saturn (22 aries) and more loosely mercury and his sun. it's like his identity/his life purpose/life direction as a nurturing, healing person who also struggles with vulnerability and being a bit judgmental sometimes shut up about it runs up against his 10th house work self, for better or worse. fire (aries) and water (cancer) don't get along, their goals are different.

he has other interesting things in his chart but i'm really trying to just to aspects right now lmao this is so long!!

jongho has an exact opposition between jupiter and pluto, so that's a fun bounce between

jupiter in gemini: man i love to be social, free, not taking shit serious, talking to people about whatever, and pluto in sagittarius: get AWAY from me i am LEAVING goodBYYYYYE

if you are extremely generous with your orbs, he could have uranus to quote unquote soften that--sort of like, idek i do my shit my way and it's chill. it's a big orb though so i don't really count it hardcore.

he also loosely has his virgo mars anchoring the opposition into a t-square--it creates sort of a versus situation. like hongjoong, he has a virgo mars (the gotta WORK (but not in a showy capricorn way, i'm genuinely doing the work stop showing off)) struggling to balance the opposing impulses of pluto and jupiter.

gotta wORK... on what? gotta work with people in a social way? or gotta work by getting the hell out of here independently? he can vacillate between the two extremes, avoid one of the points until his saturn return clomps up to say heyyyy girlllllll or some mixture of the two.

wooyoung has one opposition between planets!

mercury in scorpio (15) in the second house: i wanna get into the deep weeds with people, i want to skip the small talk and trauma dump on each other, i wanna say the TRUTH i don't CARE if it's "nice" also i'm fairly practical and critical, in contrast to how i am all or nothing motherfucker anyway i need to passionately argue my ideas and also i need to ice you out, i'm complex okay!! gOD you just don't UNDERSTAND the exhilarating highs and perilous lows of LIFE like I DOOO versus saturn in taurus (15) in the eighth house: oh shit i gotta keep myself in check and be normal so i can handle other people's problems and not lose all my money and not transform too much it will make people uncomfortable fuck i'm afraid of death i need to have a stable foundation jesus christ stop being so emotional and focus on what is practical!! god!!!!

there is no easy way out of that one i'm afraid.

instead, there's a t-square!!! the action point is his uranus in aquarius in the fifth house so there's issues with feeling like being his own unique person is in itself disruptive. he fears rejection--probably went through that a lot as a child (5th house). on the bright side, having to deal with the squares will help him gain resolution in this seesaw. the vibes are:

i have to restrict myself and be a normal bitch gotta WORK, gotta make that MONEY make PURSE

no wait. i have to be my weird ass self and express that creatively! my uniqueness is my charming point! it is so fun and awesome to be a little weirdo!

u know what actually let's connect deeply i wanna talk about emotional TRUTHS i wanna bear my SOUL i'm so RIGHT about everything and if i talk at you enough you will learn the truth!!

oops changed my mind goodbye everyone, i have reinvented myself again and i need to run away forever i'm a manic pixie dream girl and i've ghosted you. :)

yeosang has a grand trine! with a generous orb, so it's less strong than it could be. a rare aspect that is all about ease. again, like all aspects and chart patterns, there are pros and cons. a grand trine is a big ole triangle with 3 planets or points in the same element and they all get along great. yeosang's ascendant in aries is trine pluto in sagittarius is trine venus in leo. his life purpose/direction, his understanding of power death and rebirth and his desire for love, what he likes, his values, etc are always chatting away in endless circles and it's very cohesive but it can really lack direction.

pluto: i don't know where do u wanna go ascendant: idk were do u wanna go venus: idk where do u wanna go

like that. there's a lot of potential here: the newness and excitement and babyness of an aries rising, the intensity and passion of pluto, the love and harmony and creativity of venus, but it lacks direction in a major way.

like san and hongjoong, yeosang also has a mars and jupiter opposition. san and hongjoong's are exact, though (so like jupiter at 18 pisces is exactly opposite mars at 18 virgo), so they are stronger. yeosang's is more chill but still present.

jupiter in aries in the 1st house: i love being alive! i feel fresh and brand new. optimism is so easy for me! i act quickly and i want what i want but also if you want something i'll get it for you! i have strong values and i'm super honest and i'm not afraid of that in any way :). everything will work out!! mars in libra in the 7th house: haha... a decision? never heard of her hahah.... it's fine whatever u want is cool.... .. . i don't really wanna get it myself so uh. well if u think it's okay???? do you think it's okay?????? does everyone else think it's okay???? i'm very stressed and mars is in detriment here so i am uncomfortable but it's okay i'll be fine whatever u want is okay with me so long as the group is happy right???

it's also interesting because as an aries rising, his chart ruler is mars in libra--it's gonna flavor his whole personality strongly. normally in that opposition jupiter would overrule mars in its detriment, but because mars is the chart ruler that side of his personality gets emphasized more.

yunho has a locomotive chart pattern--that's like when 3/4 parts of the wheel have planets in them. hongjoong also has this. these people tend to be more driven towards goals, and there's one planet that acts as the engine--for hongjoong it's his virgo mars, which makes sense, and yunho's is his gemini moon in the eighth house. his engine is social-emotional in a light gemini sort of way not in an intense water moon sort of way. it's also square his pisces mercury in the 4th house (the cancer house, home/roots/foundation). to me that's like

gemini moon in the 8th: emotions are interesting to me in an abstract way but they don't really affect me that much, i'm always able to see the logical side of things. i'm really good at talking people through their feelings and i love to talk about mine too--but i do not want to actually feel them, ew gross that does not make me feel safe and feeling safe is extremely important to me! anyway what feeling i don't know what you're talking about my mood is totally different now i don't remember her? yeah i was upset but that was thirty seconds ago catch up! pisces mercury in the 4th: that person over there is sad i can feel it :( be nice to them :( i am gonna be really careful so i don't offend them :( anyway there is no one right answer i could be wrong idk i'm used to everything changing all the time so it's not a big deal do u think that person needs a hug :( gemini moon, trying to not feel anything: what are u doing here

this seems like a very helpful and productive square that keeps pisces and gemini--both mutable signs--from going too far in either direction. the house placements feel more unstable though.

uranus is also trine the moon so that weighs the scale more on the detachment side. uranus in aquarius in the 3rd (gemini house) is air on air on air, but also very stubborn and obsessed with being free. goodBYYYYEYYEE in a planet.

his sun is also conjunct jupiter in aries which makes his personality larger-than-life or like, expanded in some way. known. success comes easier. it's also in the fifth house of creativity and self expression which is a fun, carefree vibe, youthful leo energy. can get an ego, but he's friendly!

venus at home in taurus in the 6th conjunct saturn in taurus in the 6th--that's like saturn squeezing the life out of venus a little bit. holding it down.

venus in taurus: everyone likes me i'm cute and lovable and things come so easy to me! i love items and feeling safe and at home! man this is a soft hoodie i have achieved fulfillment. i know the perfect thing to smooth over this awkward social situation because things gotta stay stable it's insanely important to me but u know it's cool, i'm so friendly and personable :) saturn in taurus: have u ever considered that everyone betrays u venus in taurus: everyone.... could betray me. i... could betray me...... ... . better not let anyone in emotionally!!! i don't trust that shit! but if you do stay we're for life, so. ride or die.

anyway i'm interested in doing more astrology for ateez, these bitches go crazy. almost all of them have very active uranus and they have either a gemini moon (yunho, san, hongjoong) or a cancer moon (wooyoung, seonghwa, mingi, yeosang) or they are jongho, who has either an aries or a pisces moon depending on when he was born. what the hell bro. wild.

[quackityquackquackquack]

Hey Inanimate Insanity fandom, want to hear a crazy theory I came up with while thinking about episode 16 in the shower? (spoilers under the cut)

As you know, the latest episode reveals that all of the contests (except Bot, probably Bow, and maybe Dough) were actually created by MePhone4, and it's all-but-stated that this is the in-universe explanation for the gradual change in how they look over the course of the series; MePhone simply kept upgrading their models, so to speak, and making them look better. Now, here's the thing about that: There is one major character (other than Bot) who we can say with absolute, 100% certainty was not created by MePhone4, and that's, of course, Steve Cobs. After all, he's MePhone's creator, and you can't create your own creator (unless you're pulling some kind of weird time travel shit). However, consider the following: This is Steve Cobs in his debut episode,

this is Steve Cobs in the gemory flashbacks in episode 13,

and this is Steve Cobs now.

His design has changed, too. If the design-changes are an in-universe result of MePhone4 upgrading the appearance of his creations and not just out-of-universe artstyle evolution, then shouldn't there also be an in-universe explanation for how Steve Cobs' design has changed?

Well, let's put a pin in that for now. There's another mystery to discuss before I present my theory. It's a mystery that, unlike Steve Cobs' design changing, is one you've likely actually thought about: What is Me?

Despite Steve Cobs saying he got bored of Me, it's highly unlikely that Me isn't important. Too much attention was drawn to it, it doesn't resemble any real Apple product, and a person in the audience during the musical number describes it as "groundbreaking, world-shaking mythology", indicating it must do something really impressive. More to the point, though, its name is highly peculiar. Why just "Me"? Either Cobs is out of ideas for names, or there's something very significant about Me to warrant such a strange name, and the most obvious reason I can think of for why Cobs would call it that... is if it somehow literally is him.

My theory is that Steve Cobs is not actually the glasses-wearing corn cob man we know him as. At least, not anymore. He has uploaded his consciousness into whatever Me is, and the "Steve Cobs" we see throughout the series is just some kind of puppet body controlled from a distance by the real Steve Cobs, aka "Me". That's why his appearance notably changes over the course of the series; just like the people created by MePhone4, this fake puppet Steve Cobs started out not looking quite right, and its appearance had to be upgraded over time. Furthermore, I believe the Steve Cobs seen in the gemory flashbacks is him before uploading his consciousness into Me. That's his original body, hence why it looks better than the Cobs seen in episode 8 despite predating it timeline-wise. By the time of episode 8, he had uploaded himself into Me, but the technology was still flawed and not able to render him quite right, hence his notably different appearance in that episode. When he says that he "got bored of it", that's a sort of technical truth used to obfuscate the real truth. Yes, he's "bored" of it - because he has been Me for years and, knowing him, is at this point probably craving to upgrade to something even greater, but that doesn't mean Me isn't still something very important to him. And now, he's trying to make this Me technology commercially available to the public, which could mean one of two things; either he's giving other wealthy elites the power to also upload themselves into their own personal Mes (plausible, but from a writing perspective such a plot point wouldn't really serve much of a clear narrative purpose) or all of the Mes he's selling contain his consciousness and he's trying to spread himself across the whole world in some kind of world domination scheme.

[byrdstrolls]

Record Skip

Your name is Raerae Daling, and sometimes a thought gets stuck in your head like a skip on a record, like accidentally clicking speed backward on a grubtube video, like losing your spot in a paragraph and reading the first sentence over, always in threes. Today's thought is thus-

I’m Hesdie’s crazy ex-girlfriend,

I’m Hesdie’s crazy ex-girlfriend,

I’m Hesdie’s crazy ex-girlfriend,

-That was what you would say to the bouncer. It had to be playful enough for intrigue. The bouncer would probably be Nafisa. You know most of the bouncers in the entire west side, and the comfort of firm arms shoving you out into the gutter. But Nafisa was his go-to for these kinds of parties. She’s got a sense of humor, she’s got a want for chaos- You had to play their game for a moment. I’m Hesdie’s crazy ex-grlfriend, you would say. 

No shit, she would answer. Give me one good reason to let you in.

I brought booze, you would say, holding up your shopping bags- your six packs are across the bathroom, you had put them down after purchasing this morning like they burned your hand. But you’d say-

I brought booze, 

-And Nafisa, or whatever bouncer, whoever was guarding the party would say

Shittt, can’t argue with that.

And let you in. Deep down, they all wanted to see you kick that bastard in the nose. You wouldn’t give them the satisfaction, but you’d prey on their thirst, their desperation for your comment, your reaction, the showdown that was always meant to be. I’m Hesdie’s crazy ex-girlfriend. 

You didn’t plan on talking to your ex. There wasn’t a thing to say. You finish the slow circle of eyeliner around your eyes. You’ve never had a steady hand, but it's supposed to be messy, and you take a hand and smear it slightly across your knuckles. You stare into the bathroom mirror, your slit pupil eyes wide. Feeling like one of those dogs freezing at the sight of its reflection. You look so much like drunk Raerae your fight or flight kicks in, but it's just a costume, it's just a costume, she's just a costume. 

Don’t go to your ex’s party, your sponsor had told you, Quincy had looked tired, but he always looked tired, so it wasn’t your fault, and you couldn’t be held accountable for how you answered. Your sponsor said don’t go to that party, and then your client had said 100$ an hour, 500$ bonus if you catch him in the act. And you told them both I’m not drinking and you meant it with your whole heart, and mind, and empty bank account. 

When you make it to the outside of the mansion, the highblood estate where hive music blasts into the unforgiving darkness, the night is young. The bouncer is Nafisa, like you knew she would be. 

“Excuse me Miss” She huffs. “You got an invite?”

“You know me” You accuse. “You know me, Nafisa, I’m Hesdie’s crazy ex-girlfriend”

“Uh-huh. And why would I let you in?” She says, crossing her arms. 

“I brought boozeee” You grin, flashing your bags, she’s so on script you feel like kissing her, but then she ruins it. She squints at you, your running makeup, your permanently offset dress. 

“Girl, did you pregame?” She asks. 

You frown your way into a lopsided smirk, hoping she doesn’t notice your momentary disgust and confusion. 

“You know me,” You joke. You lie. “I started pregaming two nights ago.” 

“You know I’m like security, right?” 

“You know I like, brought booze? Out of the goodness of my heart? Out of the bottom of my wallet?” 

“If you go in there” She warns. “And do some stupid, insane shit like you pulled at the new sweeps party or fright night, everybodies gonna be like, who let Hesdie’s crazy ex-girlfriend in here?” She huffs, adjusting her hijab. 

“And then Nafisa, darling Nafisa, you say, not me! You say, I’ve never seen that bitch in my life! And your lips stay shut, and my lips stay shut, and everyone wins and everyone lives a little.” You plead. 

She stares at you, but then, with a patient glance around as if to check if anyones watching, she opens the door for you, and you walk into the party. 

The place is a minefield. But that’s why you came in with two plastic bags of seltzers in your hands, with two grenades pressed into your palm pin-first so you can keep the pin tight and close and hear its heartbeat against your skin. You’ve gotta make it to the upper floors- there's got to be an elevator. The alcohol is heavy, and no way in hell you’re going up the stairs in these heels. You wander from hall to hall, from pockets of giggling drunk girls, past trolls lounging on chairs and beanbags passing back and forth pipes, the inescapable smell. You press the elevator button once, twice, three times. 

The top floor, the penthive, that’s gotta be where the seadwellers room was, it was Hesdie’s party, but it’s not his bedroom you’re breaking into. The elevator door opens to a crowded living room, but you don’t skip a beat. 

“Booze runnnn!” You slur, dumping the two bags onto the floor, to which they perk up like vultures. 

“Yoooo!” One says, a cerulean you don’t recognize. He squints at you. 

“Aren’t you that girl who jumped off the building into that hot tub once??? DUDE I remember you” 

“That’s me” You grin. “I’m Hesdie’s crazy ex-girlfriend.” 

“Come sit with us,” He says. 

“I gotta pee” You say, walking past him further into the hive.

“Where have you been?” He says. Like you would tell him. “Nobodies seen you for months.” 

“Living it up in some rich girls apartment down east.” You lie. 

“My man,” He says. 

“I really gotta pee” You repeat, and keep walking down the hall, till you run into a long row of bedroom doors. The first bedroom you check is empty. The second has a couple in it, but they're so trashed they’re not even speaking. The third has a pair of jade’s playing cards. 

“Girl” One says, “Wtf the fuck is up with your eyes?”

You roll them, your sideways goat pupils going to the ceiling. 

“They’re contacts, ofc. Literally grey. I’m anon” You say. 

“Why not get normal ones?” 

“I’m quirky that way.” You reply. 

“Those look real dude, they’re fucking freaky.” the other one says, and you realize you’ll have to do your whole little show, one you knew by heart but still right now feels like a waste of time no matter the adrenaline rush it’d give you. 

Your hand goes to your contact case in your pocket, slyly reaching inside. The contact case had rust lenses in it, you never left home without it and you pick one up with your ring finger, balancing it delicately on the tip. 

“Here” you say, “I’ll take one out” You promise, lifting your index, the rust contact still concealed, turning your head upwards such that your fingers are obscured to the two jadebloods. You put the rust contact in your eye in one quick motion, blinking, and lift your index finger, pretending to hold a contact that is simply not there. 

“See” You shrug. “I’m a rustie” You say. Staring at them with one red and one gray eye. And you see their shoulders fall with ease and relief. You would feel more satisfaction with tricking them if you hadn’t done this one billion times, in the backs of bars, in closets and sidewalks and way, way drunker than you are now. 

“Wait, hold on a second.” The first jade says. “Aren’t you Hesdie’s ex-mate? He’s talking mad shit about you dog. Where have you been?” 

“I went on a cruise, actually. R&R for months” You lie. 

“Did you really try to steal his grubtube channel?” he asks. 

“What? No.” You say, so unsettled by the question you shut the door in his face.

Who cares, who cares, who cares what he says about you to his millions of followers, his channel will crash and burn without you. You head back down the hallway, and open the fourth door- but it's just Maindy in there, and talking to Maindy makes you sad, because you really did like him. 

“Raerae,” He says, voice laced with concern. “Is that you?” 

And how dare he be concerned, really- how dare he- whatever Hesdie said on grubtube, he was complicit- he was the editor. Hesdie never had the skill to do it himself. You like to imagine he portrayed you kindly when he could. But you had deleted grubtube off your phone months ago- you didn’t know what they were saying. 

“No.” You answer, slamming the door.

“Rae!” He calls back, shutting his husktop, following you into the hallway. Can you really be mad at him for videos you haven't even seen?

“What are you doing here?” He says, as he stalks you down the hallway to the last bedroom. “Where have you been?” He asks. “Nobodies seen you in months,” He says. 

And it's Maindy, and he's this barkbeast grub of a man, with big wide dark eyes and curls cascading down his back, and he looks at you like a guilty pet, and you can’t lie to him. 

“Rehab.” You say. 

“Oh” he says, stopping, and you try the door of the last bedroom, but it’s locked. 

“Did that… go well?” He says, taking in your state of dress, makeup, and demeanor. 

“Really well” You say, pulling a bobby pin from your hair to pick the lock. 

“I’m sober. I’m sober. I’m sober.” You say, with a different inflection each time. But it’s true. 

“I just wanted to lure everyone into a false sense of security so I could break into this hive.” You say, and the lock clicks open. 

“Oh.” He repeats. It’s so easy for them, it’s so easy for them to believe the worst of you, and why wouldn’t they?

The worst of you has millions of views. However many livestreams on Hesdie’s channel. MINECRAFT DRINKING GAME WITH MY GIRLFRIEND (gone wrong) (gone crazy). 

“Why break in?” Maindy asks. 

“For a client of mine.” You say. “Moirail of the fushia who own’s it’s matesprit.” You say, walking in and rifling through the fushia’s drawers, for a husktop- preferably a husktop. The fushia had a name, but it wasn’t important to you. 

“Oh… I forgot you used to do that Private Investigator thing” He says. 

“I’ve got bills” You answer. “No longer the luxurious grubtuber’s girlfriend.” You find an ipad plugged into the wall- bingo. You start looking through his messages. 

“Hesdie’s um,” Maindy pauses. “Saying a lot of stuff about you.” 

“So I hear” You say, flipping through the text messages, just long enough to confirm this guy is indeed cheating on his matesprit, just as your client suspected. Most PI gigs are cheaters these days. They bored you. It was always too easy. It was always too easy. It was always too easy. 

“He said that um” He stares at you as you work. “That you, um, demanded he give you his whole channel, and accused him of hemophobia when he didn’t. (he made me leave that in)” He says softly, and you can’t even stay mad, because Maindy was paying off student loans, and Hesdie pays him well, because Hesdie knows he’s not actually funny and his channel will crash and burn without Maindy’s editing, just like it will crash and burn without your hilarity. Just give it time.

“I did none of that” You say. 

“Well what happened?” he asks. 

“None of your business” You say, texting screencaps to your client, plugging the ipad back into the wall, you walk past Maindy back into the hall, and shut the door on him. 

“Go fuck yourself” You say, and it doesn't matter to you much whether you or he earned it or not anymore, its a night for slamming doors, and suddenly you have to be out of this party, you want to not be here more than you’ve ever wanted anything in your life. Why didn’t you listen to your sponsor? You begin the long trek back to the elevator, and past the living room, and to the front door, and very few minutes someone stops you and says hey, aren’t you that hemoanon who chugged a bottle of capiers on a dare? Aren’t you that girl who did a line off a pocketknive in a livestream? Aren’t you that troll who set fire to Hesdie’s kitchen last New Sweep party? 

Aren’t you Hesdie’s crazy ex-girlfriend? 

Aren’t you Hesdie’s crazy ex-girlfriend? 

Aren’t you Hesdie’s crazy ex-girlfriend? 

And you don’t run into him the whole night, you just hear his name spoken again and again like it’s your own, but you know that by three am most nights mid-high he likes to mellow out in jacuzzi’s and hot tubs, and the pools are on the third floor, and you know he’d be there, and you avoid it like the plague. Right now, somebody, maybe one of those jades or those guys on the living room floor is walking up to him and they’re probably saying hey, your ex-girlfriend was upstairs with two six packs, she was opening bedroom room doors, 

And he’d lean back, running a hand through his hair and he'll say 

Damn, she really is obsessed with me

Nafisa watches you head out the front door at a brisk pace to where you’ve parked and she tries not to look too disappointed.

[mwagneto]

I’m a bit afraid of the upcoming two-parter finale of Doctor Who, mainly because of the circulating TV show theory and a horrifying thought I had the other day concerning this theory. … What if this theory is partly true, and the entirety of season 1 was indeed a TV show, and therefore not real maybe. Which would be the worst possible outcome I think, given that people in general hate the “it was all just a dream”/ “it didn’t really happen”-trope. But if we take this outcome into consideration I was wondering, when did the “TV show” / the “performance” start? Since when is it all fake so to speak? Because one could argue that the ending Fourteen got, is way too happy. He got his own TARDIS by very ridiculous/ implausible means. He got his own family. Everyone is happy. It is the “and they lived happily ever after”- ending you only see in fairy tales or very sappy TV shows. So my horrifying thought was, what if the “performance” started right after they defeated the Toymaker and Fourteen’s happy ending isn’t real at all!?

YEAHH i thought about that too, especially since i saw someone mention that "maybe the 'show' started in wby" in a post i'll never find

i think it is a logical conclusion to jump to since that IS 100% where the turning point was, the superstition is invoked, the salt is thrown, bam. the entire universe tilts on its axis. but i realllly really don't think that's the case?

i'll put the rest under the cut coz it got too long + i tried adding paragraphs to make it more readable so sorry if it feels janky

ok so admittedly my reasons for thinking whatever is going on now is definitely post 14 ending is because, like you and the above mentioned post says, anything major starting in wby would make the giggle a part of the whole thing and undo 14s happy ending + make 14 at least somewhat part of the story which. is definitely not something they'd do. or i sure hope they won't!

like rtd said 14 was never coming back and like yeah showrunners lie but i think even he knows how much bringing 14 back for a main show appearance would suck ASSSS like while i don't think having 14 bigenerate really stole 15's thunder the way ppl are saying (and i get why those people are mad too, i disagree but i understand), having 14 come back in any way whatsoever would just be really bad both because

he already got his happy ending, he got a beautiful last scene, his and by extension 10's story got an incredible sendoff that i still can't fully talk about coz of how crazy it is but like. you get it. and to have him just... come back after that would be really weird? like?? yknow??? that's him done. bringing him back at all would kinda.. not just cheapen it but make the finality of his happiness feel like it's not that secure or peaceful after all. and

having 14, the guy created specifically to bring in more viewers after everyone gave up during 13 era almost leading to the show getting cancelled, a guy whose MAIN REASON for existing is because they knew he'd be incredibly popular, be relevant to 15's story would just. be bad. like again i don't think the bigeneration itself was disrespectful to 15 or stole anything from him but that is IT. 14 cannot come back again, he did his job (nostalgiabaiting audiences + bringing people back in + letting rtd have a beautiful little playground sesh with his old era) and it slapped but he got his time and his ending and i think slash hope rtd knows this and won't do anything to mess with it.

okay sorry that got so fkin long i didnt mean to. ANYWAY. ONTO THE ACTUAL THEORY geez..

SO. wrt the season/episodes being part of a tv show and my general view on tv show theory: like. yeah like you said people generally dislike the ohh it was all a dream twist, and the longer the stretch of time that turns out to have not been real gets, the more annoying the twist is, which i'm 100% sure rtd as a showrunning veteran is very very aware of, so i really don't think they'll do anything as insane as having the ENTIRE thing turn out to have not been real

like i thinnnnnnnnk if it is a tv show then everything we've seen will have been real as in like. it wasn't just the doctor trapped in goo forced to experience fictional people that don't exist and have no consequence once he wakes up

i also think if the tv show theory IS true in some way, then the doctor is definitely aware of it at least to some degree, hell half the evidence we have for it literally comes from things he himself does (and that applies in a broader sense too, even if it's not a tv show or something, he still seems at least partially aware of Something, especially in the devil's chord (which also directly ties into the giggle and references a lot of things) although hints and little moments have steadily declined since then, that was definitely the peak of the theorisable moments era)

so like, tldr of everything i said so far: i dont think 14 is coming back and i don't think they'll make the entire season turn out to have been fake, but im basing both of these solely on the fact that these choices would be really really really bad and i don't think they should happen

as for what i think IS going on: i feel like i can't fully be objective because i really want the tv show hints to go somewhere so i feel like a lot of me believing it comes from wanting to believe it and not actual evidence, but yeah i think it definitely ties into tv in some way

again i don't think they'll be like ohh the entire thing was fiction and none of these people were real so none of it meant anything, i think if it really is some weird non-reality then they'll still do it in a way that makes the real world relevant

but like, as demonstrated above, when it comes to overarching plots i think i'm generally better at predicting what WON'T happen than what will, like idk i can guess the murderer 1 minute into any detective thing but when it comes to guessing stories i can get kinda lost. like idk i notice all the hints and then some but without an obvious thing to point to that ties it all together i can never really make up the larger story of what's going down (unlike with, say, murder mysteries, where you already know all the suspects at the beginning) yknow ?? i hope that makes sense 😭

that and i always feel like making up specific theories means whatever i think will happen definitely WON'T happen so yeah basically i have no idea what is actually going on but i really really love speculating, and i'm not really afraid of any of the negative outcomes you and a lot of other people mentioned, like yea it IS possible and it would be really bad but i don't think they'd do it exactly because it would be really bad. but we'll see i guess...

for now i'm not worried and pretty excited and very very hopeful coz i LOOOOOVE how intricately built this whole season is like oh my goddd yessss hints mysteries secrets foreshadowing haha YESSSSSS HAHAAAAA!!!

one thing tho. that i forgot to consider for this whole essay until i was already typing the ending. is that the whole thing starting in wby with the salt seems likely but hopefully isn't the case HOWEVER. susan twist literally appears in wby well before the salt thing .. which is definitely something to keep in mind. what does it mean? i don't know ❤️ i think whatever her deal is isn't related or at least is only vaguely related to the whole superstition/fantasy thing BUT if it is a tv show and she plays a part in the tv show theory then her being in the episode where the entire genre of the show changed is rly interesting

[dashielldeveron]

top 3 let’s go. battle of the most deranged insane men

3. izuku

resident insane deranged man at number 3. could be higher however has great self control and a series of complex’s to keep himself in check. which is why he’s not higher. 

izuku has more reason to get jealous than any other soulmate troupe guy as he is the only one that knows that reader has 8 other soulmates. that all like her. and one of them is her best friend. and izuku is so so so jealous that he isn’t your hitoshi. especially in the beginning of the route, he so badly would’ve wanted to be your best friend to lovers who trust each other and care about each other more than anything. but instead he can only give you a relationship with a guy you had haven’t spoken to in years. it’s like any time he sees you with him and sees how easy the conversation flows between the two of you kills himmmm. izuku is 100% the type of guy to feel the most unhinged jealousy when he hears another guy making you laugh. if he’s across the room he’s immediately making his way over lmao.

the thing is with izuku is that he talks himself out of feeling crazy because he doesn’t feel like he deserves to feel jealous. he was part of a very public relationship with uraraka that’s made them incredibly popular (even if they’re not together anymore) as a duo and as a romantic pair. if we’re being kind of sad and real here i don’t think in the eyes of the public that reader and izukus relationship would ever outshine the one he had with uraraka, and he’d feel so guilty that you have to deal with having to fill the izuacho . and you also had to listen to uraraka talk about their sex life. so whenever izukus thinking about the logistics of killing someone because they made you laugh he thinks of all the shit you’ve had to put up with from him. 

+ izuku has that self control so you could never tell in the moment he was seething but there would certainly be. tells. about how he was feeling when he drags you home and. mystery. that leaves you like passed out on the bed while izuku is sadly waiting for you to wake up because he wants to talk to you :(

2. touya

he’s insane. he’s so jealous. he may act like he’s all confident and hot in other routes but nooo that man hates himself. (fun fact he was originally going to be at three and then i reread his route and yeah no way lmao) . touya has more jealous tendencies than possessive, he probably has both, he just leans way more jealous. let’s discuss why!

touya has this cocktail of insecurities and issues that make his jealousy and possessiveness so insane. for our benefit i’ve dissected the recipe to his insecurity cocktail so we’re able to know what his deal is.

one - he sees himself as this ugly creature and also kind of a terrible guy, already spelling disaster as he sees himself ‘undeserving’ of his partner and so anytime he sees them interact with someone who’s ‘better’ (namely shouto [who he already feels inferior to] and shinsou [again, if a guy is jealous of anyone in your life. it’s going to be Him]) that awful jealous feeling is gnawing away already. 

two - trust is so fucking difficult for this man, he trusts you because he thinks you are fucking heaven sent and have done nothing but cook him delicious meals and love him and his friends, but your friends? wary (probably more so projecting his issues with how so many people have fucked him overin the past and he doesn’t want something terrible like that happening to someone as wonderful as you, even if no one close to has even given him any remote reason for him to believe that).

three - loves your attention. reader gives him attention in the exact why 

four - it does NOT help that that man is an instigatorrrrrr. i don’t even think he knows how much of a shit stirrer he is, he’s just not used to interacting with anyone in a particular kind way, doesn’t help when he’s interacting with people he is trying to be kinda rude to. it turns what’s already this very nasty inner feeling into something much worse and outwardly directed at other people. when he is jealous bitches know he’s jealous however. to his credit that man is therapy so he probably does this in a way better than he could of at his lowest of lows. and he loves you so much and doesn’t want to embarrass you by making a scene. i’m thinking of a scenario in which reader is talking with shinsou and he’s feeling incredibly self loathing and makes his way over there. immediate hand around the waist. looking at shinsou in no way that is approving. and while he doesn’t make a scene he does kinda ruin the vibe.

 (even though shinsou does love you, touya does not clock this because he doesn’t really know shinsou, he just assumes that any male friend you have is in love with you and hitoshi around the most and is the closest so in touyas mind he is number one candidate of stealing his bitch)

however. this situation definitely leads to him getting his jealousy shit together as reader would call him and tell him that he NEEDS to speak to his therapist (and LISTENNNN) about his issues with how much he hates himself because it’s not healthy for him or for you. so he’s like ‘damn i need to really get it together because i don’t want to self sabotage and fuck up the best thing in my life rn’. so it’s a good motivation for him to start being more open about his self hatred with his therapist (obviously he has other reasons, i just think that this is the final push).

i feel like that journey does really mellow him out and he would become more chill with you around other guys (still has tendencies but knows how to deal with them in a better way). trusts you as much as he can trust anyone and reader is so down bad that she fell in love with him twice as two separate people and that’s readers go to soothe if she can sense he’s feeling particularly jealous.

 (+ he also is another guy that loves to see you jealous, as stated he loves your attention, so as a natural shit stirrer and attention whore he would be over the moon and never let you hear the end of it, would bring it up all the time)

(sorry for this yapfest with touya i just feel like there’s a lot to talk about with his jealousy as it’s like a hundred different reasons also sad i couldn’t make it thirst :( )

neito

neito?? at number 1?? it’s more likely than you think. our possessive king. i’m amazed i’ve kept my neito thirst away from you for so long (because i could come up with the NASTIEST thirst for this man and with your permission i will share..)

OK. ok. ok. i know what you’re thinking. ‘how does the relatively normal monoma neito beat fucking dabi in a competition about jealousy and possessiveness’. i can explain! 

(i don’t really know how to articulate this well. i’ve tired like 5 times. so thoughts and prayers you understand.) touyas jealousy stems from his insecurity cocktail. his jealous tendencies are a terrible side-effect of his self loathing, which is a very broad issue that causes him way more problems than just that.  they are a side effect, but not a direct manifestation of his insecurities. neitos is. neitos insecurities stem from him ‘not having anything in his life that’s truly his’ and what’s the direct correlation to this?? wanting something that is only yours. aka. being possessive. it’s like his whole thing! it’s so much his whole thing that i feel like the ‘soulmate troupe’ of the chapter is perfectly on theme! he even reveals that he is your soulmate to the entire class in the most humiliating way because he hated the fact that fuck ass kaminari wanted you and he hates the thought of having to ‘share’ you. (reason why i can only ever imagine a monoma throuple occurring in shinsous route and not in neitos, he’d rather die than ever have another guy kiss you)

but if i know one thing about neito it’s that he is both a freak and a theatre kid so his healthy way to deal with his possessiveness is putting it into kinky bully role play LMAOOO. like he’d drag you back to his dorm and talk about how he’s the only one who gets to manhandle and boss you around and that you wants you to apologise for being such so bad and you have to get down on your knees to show him ‘how sorry you really are’ (his more rough persona can never last for long, plant a kiss on the soulmark before going down on him and he moans so pathetically for you. i’m normal i’m normal i’m normal.)  fuck ass kaminari looking at you a bit too longingly today? he has you splayed out in his bed underneath him, sucking on your neck and telling you about how no one else could ever make you break like he does. he’s crazy i love this fucking freak so much.

(neito is also another guy who very much enjoys seeing you get possessive over him, his desire goes both ways, for you to be completely his and for him to be completely yours. [he will also incorporate this into his kinky role play and get on his knees to show you how sorry he is])

(that’s the end! sorry it’s so long. there’s just so much i enjoy analysing about these characters with how you write them! it’s so fun for me. i’m interested to see if you’ll agree with the order of the top three since even while i was writing this ask i debated switching places around. hope you enjoy my insanity <3)

-cork board anon

okay i had to sit on this ask a couple of days bc it drove me insane. arf arf bark woof, etc.

ugh yes izuku has to be so envious towards the beginning of his route that he's not hitoshi, that he's not your best friend since forever. probably slightly regrets hyperfocusing to the extreme on hero training during school, bc he wishes that he could've known reader better after all this time. i can imagine him, like, grilling shinsou about the most mundane shit about reader and taking intense notes about our favourite colours and food habits and stuff. it's like, izuku already knows what anyone can know about us: the details of our quirk. and before, that was enough. more than enough. it's more than izuku himself is giving the public, right? but now he's like i have to know everything i possibly can about her so that i can love/annoy her perfectly. maybe he spends some awkward times thinking, "okay, how would shinsou do this? how would someone who's known her forever act here?" and it just makes his stomach hurt every time--and it's all in his head, but if he thinks too hard, it feels like the soulmate rejection pain.

yes yes yes he can probably break away from you in a bar for a while, or whatever, but even when he's getting drinks and seemingly having a conversation with multiple people, he's always keeping an eye on you. and if someone makes you laugh or gets too close, he lets some unprofessional impatience sneak in while he's closing the conversation, needing to return to your side. i think while he'd feel urgh if one of the potential soulmates made you laugh, but i think he'd feel worse if it were someone outside of that flock--with the soulmates, he at least knows their intentions are with your wellbeing in mind, more or less.

you're probably right about izuku/reader never getting as popular in the public eye as izuku/ochaco. like!!!! izuku and ochaco were parallels in a whole-ass war together!!! and reader was off Not Having a Villainous Foil in that war!!! reader and ochaco would prob have to have an uptick in PR stuff together to make people be like. ah yes. not entirely a replacement for uraraka. but oof oof oof yes that hurts. can you IMAGINE being in civvies in a grocery store or whatever and overhearing senior citizens in the produce section casually being like, "do you remember that other girl deku was with? she was so nice. cheerful all the time. she seems better for him than this new girl. too dreary. too outspoken." "kyoko, this new girl has been married to him for six years now." and you're just trying to buy lettuce!!!! and izuku's fucking wracked with guilt, so all he can do is put his hand on your waist and guide you away from produce. maybe he gives you a morose sort of kiss to your temple. apologises under his breath, even though he has no control over what people are saying even this far into your relationship. :( and oh he would get a little sad waiting for us to wake up so we can hang out more. oh god. oh dear. he's in deep

i bet eventually izuku's like that post going around that like "babe wear whatever you want; it makes my cock so hard that other people want what i have." he's probably justified his jealousy by reframing it as kink and suuuuuper excited about Oh. She Chose ME over the other potential soulmates. which i think he deserves, considering all the shit he's going through.

touya my beloved!!!! yes yes whenever you hang out at the todoroki estate, he wants to keep you in his little teahouse, because what if you see shouto or natsuo and you like them better?? even after all this time and you have ESTABLISHED that you are down sooooo bad for him. needs constant verbal confirmation that you still like him.

i think touya has a lot of potential for catboy neediness--most likely, i think, to stride up to you while you're on the couch talking to someone else and just plop his head in your lap and demand you play with his hair. wants any part of your attention, even if it's divided.

he's probably gets suuuuper nervous when you invite him to hang out with you friends, because they've all fought each other, and he gets nervous when you hang out with former league members, for different reasons--what if they embarrass him in front of you? he needs to seem so cool to you. he needs to. i imagine for a while that he thinks you're only together bc you think he's cool, but you have to Really and Truly assure him that you love that he's a little loserboy, and while he resents the label, it also calms him down a bit. if you're seeing and loving him when he's pathetic, the only way to go is up, right?

ohhh building on your shinsou scenario--what if it's, like. during a press conference. and he's on set bc he's your bf. but he's thinking shinsou is getting just a bit too chummy, so in the middle of it all, on film and in front of a crowd and a set crew, he just strides on stage and sits in your lap, or something. spoils the vibe so hard. the conference just pitters into silence. oh my god. i would kill him. i would kiss him on the cheek. i'm thinking he would do that once and have it haunt him forever :( but lololol you're so right; touya wouldn't be able to tell if hitoshi is trying to steal you or not, but he'd probably seethe at the idea of someone stealing you who's nothing like himself.

he'd prob be a very stressful boyfriend to have for the first few months, but you're right; he'd probably mellow out after a while. i'm thinking he still has to be the one sitting next to you at all times, still has to be the one to get you things you ask for, still has to have an arm around you when he can. but he's doing better.

also WOW it is HILARIOUS the idea that touya would hate when other men pay attention to you but that he would purposely irritate/flirt with people so that you'll look his way. hypocrite! hypocrite! he is just like a cat. he might get cuteness agression and feel the need to bite you sometimes.

and ohhhhhhhhhhhhh neito. monoma neito my very, very beloved. i love him soooo much i am ill about him. but it's hard to thirst about him all the time bc he's such a divisive character!!! he's so easy to read only on a surface level as a Rude Bitch, so lololol when you see thirst about him, sometimes it's like, "are we reading the same manga?" lololol a baby boy. a baby baby baby boy. i welcome any filth you have to say about him.

touya's jealousy/insecurity vs. neito's jealousy/insecurity: i think a major part of it may come down to touya's view of himself as a monstrosity comes from an action that technically he did to himself (even though his abuser encouraged it, etc.; we are against endeavour in this household); it's something he eventually became and accepted/hated, while monoma's complex about not having anything of his own is something he's known since birth as an unchangeable fact about himself. touya can get prosthetics; he could get skin grafts; he could get rehabilitated. neito can't change his quirk. can't change how it's always been. neito's quirk isn't dangerous, so what's there to fix or address in the first place? it's got to be such a fucking burden.

"never having something in his life that's truly his." god. neito's got to feel a bit like a ghost, like he doesn't leave a mark on anything, since there's no trace of him out there, just flashes of other people's talents. even his hard work studying other people's quirks probably comes from mastering what they themselves have discovered about their powers. and then you come along. his soulmate. his. no one else's. you tie him to the earth in a way that nothing ever has. your existence proves that he's alive, because he's one-half of a whole with you.

lololol you're so correct about neito being potentially open to a throuple in shinsou's route but not in his own. it's funny stuff, the soulmate business, to neito, in shinsou's route, but in his own route, it's deadly serious. he can't take it lightly. you're too valuable to him. he can't lose you.

lol you just know the roleplay gets more and more elaborate as time goes on. like i bet he wants to worldbuild a fantasy world that's a bit too similar to tolkien to pretend you're fucking in. "once we get the trading routes nailed down between our warring kingdoms, the sex is going to be awesome." lol what if he like. tries to publish some short stories or something, and you recognise elements from your sexual roleplay in it. "babe, didn't we say that lube is one of the main exports of the western province? also, i need you to describe the queen's tits in a way that makes them less obviously my own."

but noooooo you've got the biggest brain. the biggest. neito would be like. immediately regulating his frustration/jealousy into kink. bet he loves manhandling you, makes him feel like you have to depend on him. makes him feel like he has more control over you than he's ever had over anyone's quirk (an aside: i think he accidentally copies your quirk once, and he's soooooo pathetic and apologetic and head in hands about it for days afterward).

"his more rough persona can never last for long, plant a kiss on the soulmark before going down on him and he moans so pathetically for you." jaw dropped. throat dry. pussy wet. holy fuck. you've perfectly captured something i think is fabulous about monoma: he seems like a power-hungry, controlling dom who will fucking slut himself out in ways a sub traditionally would. the duality of man. like. he talks a big game, of course he does--words are some of his main weapons, so why wouldn't he use them on you? and he always goes through with what he says he'll do to you, but you can press a featherlight kiss to his neck while he's doing it, and he just fucken crumples. becomes soft soft babygirl for a moment. so breathy and whiny and grateful. and has to visibly steel himself and get back into character, because he is an actor, damn it.

"no one else could ever make you break like he does" jaw dropped again, oh my god. i don't even have a response to this. it's too good. (although you're right about it being prompted by even just so much as kaminari looking at you for too long; monoma is probably the one most likely to initiate spontaneous, public-but-not-so-public-that-people-can-see-you sex, because he has to have you in that moment. neito is probably easily set off but easily satisfied, once he sees your flushed face as you squeeze around him.)

awww neito would prob like it when you get possessive over him, bc he's like me???? i'm worth wanting????? for me myself???? not bc i can be a lot of different people???? probably tickled by it. probably likes to thank you by roleplaying that you're a gracious queen of your worldbuilt-kingdom and he's a pathetic little captured princeling who's been spared the death penalty, and to thank you, he's spreading your legs every time you sit on the throne (and you're like. neito. can we fuck like normal people every once in a while. and he's like ohhhh, you want me to stop talking so much??? to stop building the scene???? you must be so greedy, to want to have my mouth latched around your clit for so long, but i can indulge you. i want you to count how many orgasms you can make it through, all right?).

i think before i read through the entire ask, i would've put izuku about touya. but i think you're ultimately right; it's important that touya's jealousy manifests frequently and has consequences, while izuku's got so much self-discipline that we don't always see it--even when he's screaming inside that first time reader kisses shinsou immediately after they figure out she has multiple soulmates, he's so eerily calm about it outwardly, with that "she knows what she's doing wrong." because the words themselves show so much confidence that we belong to izuku, but he's soooooo nervous, frustrated, and full of self-hatred.

lololol i just love that we both apparently love men who are Burdened with Immense Guilt. it's honestly sooooo sexy of a man to regret what he's done wrong :) like if any of them did not feel guilty about their jealousy, they would instantly be less attractive to me lol. but the fact that they're torn up about it makes my mouth water. love it. and i love the insanity. i love you. i welcome all insanity with extremely widely opened arms. this has been a treat to read through. i am having a lot of fun :)

[the-girl-in-the-high-castle]

I’ve been going crazy about this show for a month and my mind is completely taken over by either sound, crazy or half baked theories, so I’m gonna share some of the thoughts here. They are not all mine, it can be said it’s a combination of my own thoughts and the things I’ve read other people notice. So this is a long post, sorry about that, I just have to get it out of me. 

**************************************************************************

- The memories Daniel is trying to make Maura remember are 100% fake, like I’m sure of it. Nothing about them seems real. All the photos are the same, they are dressed in same clothes, they all look the same. His memory takes place in a modern looking flat that definitely does not match either the photos or the landscape outside. It’s like those crazy dreams we have with dozen things put together and then they don’t make any sense. 

- Daniel and Elliot aren’t real. The fake memories from the previous point are one proof, but what’s even more important is that neither of them has any motivation as own character outside of Maura. They do not exist inside the story without their entire existence being tied to Maura. They are trying to wake Maura up, save Maura, etc. But it always comes back to Maura. Every other character has their own story, but they are always tied to Maura. Elliot’s memories are the same as Daniel’s. That grey landscape looks like a dream and it’s always the same in all those memories. The only difference is that Maura’s hair is down in that scene, otherwise, it’s like they just jumped there from the Kerberos. I will focus on this point further as well. 

- The traumatic memories of all the other characters might not be real, or are partially real. I believe Eyk’s family might not be real as well, and that the memory of the tragedy was probably installed there for a purpose. The only one I believe might actually be real is his eldest daughter Nina. She’s all he talks about and sometimes it’s funny how he almost never mentions anyone else. She’s the only one he hears, sees and touches. Like the only one that actually feels real. 

- 2099 is another simulation. I’m sure of this. It just does not feel real. And like a lot of other people, I believe the real reality is somewhere in between 1899 and 2099. Maybe 1999. This takes me back to episode one when Maura stands in front of the mirror and says her name, date and then starts with “19...” corrects herself and says 1899. 

- The body remembers! Eyk is Maura’s real husband. Yeah, my favorite delusional theory. Or not so delusional after all. The out of this world chemistry that you can cut with a sword is not the reason for this, but it’s wonderful. There is a lot of focus on the body remembering either trauma or things of other form. The way they act with each other screams that they have something going on in reality. I do not believe it’s just the repeating simulations. It’s the projection of their relationship in reality that their mind forgot but the body cannot. The way that she always reaches out to him and touches him so casually like it is a habit. It’s also interesting how he reacts to her touch, first with surprise, then disbelief, like he cannot believe she did it, like he does not deserve it, which can mean he might have fucked something up royally in reality. The way she constantly defends him in front of everyone even though his decisions are questionable at best and outright insane at worst, she does not hesitate for a second in defending him, and I don’t believe it’s just because she herself knows weird ass shit is going on on that ship. Might be a sign that she was also the one that fucked things up royally. Failed marriage storyline maybe. 

- I think that Maura’s memories she has at the beginning, the miscarriage storyline, are actually what is real. Why? Well, we go back to the body remembering. There is a very huge ass focus on her not feeling anything when she looks at the “family” photos of her, Daniel and Elliot. Like it’s not just her saying she doesn’t remember, it’s her insisting she doesn’t FEEL anything when she looks at them. She says she’d know if she had a child, she would feel it, and she breaks down, in a sort of blaming herself moment, that she does not remember her child, that she does not feel anything, and it looks really genuine. Maybe it’s because her body remembers the trauma of losing a child, not having one. Because from episode one it looks like she feels the loss of a child in that way. Plus, we have her reaction to Eyk’s family photo, which is a lot more emotional than her reaction to her supposed family photo. It happens 3 times. Three times she looks at Eyk’s family photo and has an emotional reaction to it. And there is a real huge focus on that for it not to mean anything.

- Eyk’s family photo on Kerberos, the burned down house and the empty frame on the Prometheus. Someone came up with a theory that Maura’s photo Daniel has belonged in the Prometheus empty frame. I actually like the theory. Even though it can just mean it’s in the letter Eyk received, but if it’s a simulation after all, they could’ve just created a new one. So the theory can still be correct in a way, since we have Daniel essentially coming from the Prometheus. And there is a bit of focus on that empty frame, so it must mean something.

- The way things are being spoken is going to be of huge importance. I think this is one of the reasons we have so many different languages. Like, I can notice these things in English and Spanish, because I speak these languages, but fuck if I know how the French phrase their sentences. Some of the examples are: Maura and Eyk essentially have their tragedies happen at the same time, except he uses the “two years ago” and she uses “a couple of years ago”. Or Daniel saying “we got married 12 years ago”, not ‘’we’ve been married for 12 years” or anything like that. Or Maura saying ‘’my focus was....is on the human brain”, etc. 

- 12 years are somehow important, or just number 12. This got me to reading about different meaning of number 12 and 12 labors of Hercules in the middle of the night. Daniel mentions it “we got married 12 yeas ago” and Franz says he’s been in Eyk’s service for 12 years. 

- The connections the characters form with the people they “aren’t supposed to be with” are the projection of their real life relations. I think this has been established as truth amongst fans already. The most obvious being Eyk and Maura, Clemence and Jerome, Olek and Link Yi, but also Angel and Krester, even Tove and Franz. 

- I didn’t believe a single word creepy Qyburn said and think he has a bigger part in it than just being trapped inside the simulation.

- The theory of either Daniel or Eyk being Maura’s brother is the stupidest possible theory anyone could come up with. And this is happening because of Dark. People should stop connecting it all to Dark. The creators said that they are trying to make it as different from Dark as it can be, and I believe them, What would be the point in creating two shows that are the same? Like yeah, Daniel is suspicious as hell, but no way he’s playing that sort of sick kind of mind games. Eyk, whoever thinks Eyk can be the creator is just really funny to me. My man spent the entire season lost and confused as fuck, and no, subverting expectation does not count here. 

This isn’t even a third of what’s going on in my head these days, but I had to share at least some of the things I had in mind. 

[vampire-sugar]

Overdue TQOTD post...

I finished the book back in April LOL but just never got the urge to write about it. It took me an excruciatingly long time to finish, and that was because the writing was very repetitive imo. AR has the ability to make a vampire origin story so so so so so boring. Which is crazy, because The Story of the Twins is interesting and Maharet and Mekare are interesting characters, but the writing I found pretty bland. Which, again, is crazy because the writing in the Akasha and Lestat chapters?? Fire! So I know AR can do it lol but unfortunately none of it really hit when it came to the Twins and a lot of other chapters. Those parts read a lot like the dreadful Marius chapter/section in TVL and that shit nearly bored me to tears (insane bc that's when you finally find out about TWMBK).

Under the cut I get into more spoiler-y stuff about the last two chapters, including some (not so) subtle racism in the writing + things I actually did like about the book (bc there were some!!).

----It's been a while so I don't fully understand my notes but this is what I managed to make of them----

So, last two chapters, we finally get the showdown between Akasha and the rest of the vampires, and really they just talk and try to reason with each other. Here are some of Akasha's reasons for why humans need vampires to intervene in their affairs.

"Millions have been exterminated by one small European nation on the whim of a madman", "Entire cities were melted into oblivion by bombs", "The screams of the hungry are deafening, yet unheard by the rich who cavort in technological citadels", "the idiot foolishness upon which the complacency of the rich has always been based"

I singled these quotes out because it shows that her issue is not just with men, but with the rich and powerful. And her solution, of course, is to kill all men except 1 in 100 and kill all male babies born except 1 in 100. I'm upset that there was nothing behind Akasha's motivations when it came to the Twins other than wanting power and control, and her true motivations in this case are also gaining power and control over the women that she would eventually rule over rather than actually caring about the things that she listed to Marius & Co. Regardless, that doesn't make what Akasha is saying untrue. She's right, obviously, these problems exist! But the vampires also bring up another great point which is that: humans are aware of these problems (are literally the victims of these problems), and are revolting! They are rising up against the rich and powerful. Those humans do not deserve to die.

Marius tells her: "But it is the outcry against these horrors which is the light I speak of."

And then shortly after he hits me with the: "For the Western world, not to resist would be unthinkable." And maybe I'm reading too much into it, but coupled with previous instances of weird quotes about the East, this reads to me as yet another casual statement of non-Western countries being hopeless or lost causes. Like, "of course you were able to mass kill in the East, Akasha! They just roll over and take whatever horrific thing is committed against them! But the West won't have it!" That's how it reads to me.

[Note: The vampires' problem with violent resistance in general is strange, considering they are literally vampires who kill to survive, but whatever. They keep saying violence is bad and I'm like don't you "violence" every day?]

Anyway. Another insane quote:

This is said by Lestat, in reaction to Khayman putting on the equivalent of a fake tan to look more human (Khayman is Egyptian and I think(!) was described as having dark skin at some point):

"Sometimes, he covered himself with a darkening pigment- burnt sienna mixed with a little scented oil. It seemed a crime to do so, to mar the beauty." ???????????? Insanely racist thing to think say Lestat/Anne.

Alright so overall, was an insanely long read, definitely my least favorite book out of the 3 I've read, and it has put me off reading any more even though I really want to... but what I did like was:

Jesse Reeves

Claudia haunting NOLA house

AKASHASTAT, those chapters were golden

Devil's Minion chapter

That's all I can remember of the good. Will watch QOTD movie soon. Soon.

(also crying at my last post ab this book being me making a wildly incorrect prediction thinking it was so obvious, i am so bad at predicting things lol)

[borahaerhy]

D-Day is an absolute masterpiece; let's discuss.

Obscenely long description of each of the songs under the cut

TL;DR: I'm an emotional wreck and this is the best album I've ever heard for so many reasons.

Haegeum??? That MV??? Never wanted to quit my job and start a gang that bullied the rich and steals their money more in my life (and trust me, that's something I've wanted to do since I was like 13). Yoongi is the only rich man I'd ever let lecture me about capitalism. He can do it all day every day. This is a fucked system, but thank you for turning me on while lecturing me about it and murdering people with some dirty chopsticks 🥴

D-Day is absolutely sick, 100% exactly what I'd expect from him. How a song can go so hard and still be so poetic to me is just insane. The beat is SICKENING. The chorus? CATCHY. 10/10 song, perfect opener to the album and set's the tone for the rest that's coming in an amazing way.

HUH?! killed me. We open the song with "what the shit do you know about me" and bro? Nothing, ion know shit about fuck, but you got me all the way fucked up with that attitude. Hoseok?? THE "HUH"S EVERYWHERE?? dead. deceased. The beat? Would literally sell my soul to be able to be in the studio when that man makes anything. I went to school to be an audio engineer, I've seen the way people put music together and create these catchy ass beats and have even made a few of my own, but FUCK BRO THERE'S NOTHING BETTER THAN THIS MAN IN THE STUDIO.

^^That goes for every song, not just Huh, but I just thought that it was important for EVERYONE to know that I'd sacrifice my firstborn child just to watch this man work.

AMYGDALA had me in tears. I was literally sobbing reading the lyrics. There are no words I can say that will accurately express how I feel about this song. This song has been out for less than 24 hours and I already feel so close to it, I can't even begin to describe it. The way most of the instruments fall out in the pre-chorus just so they can all come back in the chorus for that intensity with him basically yelling the lyrics is just *chef's kiss*.

SDL Is so cute and heartbreaking at the same time. The chorus is everything, so beautiful. Talk about bitter sweet lyrics, I'm eating that shit up. His vocals are absolutely outstanding, that "I'm thinking 'bout you" is making me so delulu you have no idea.

People Pt. 2 has already been out, but man that song is gorgeous. IU's vocals are such a great contrast to Yoongi's rap, and when they harmonize I wanna start crying whY DO THEY SOUND SO GOOD??!

I'M NOT KIDDING YOU WHEN I SAY I WAS CRYING, LEGIT SOBBING THE FIRST TIME I HEARD POLAR NIGHT. The instrumental is so uniquely Yoongi, and makes you feel so much. Yoongi is one of the only artists whos music makes me feel what they feel; and this song is the best representation of that. Everytime i listen to it I have to stop myself from crying and it has nothing to do with the lyrics. I cried before I even knew what the song was about, just because that's how good of a composer and producer he is. Genuinly one of the best songs I've ever heard.

I've never had an interlude make me feel so much. He's perfected the art of making his music invoke the emotions of his listeners and there's nothing more perfect than a minute-and-a-half-long interlude with no words in it that's still able to do that. Incredible.

Snooze is honestly one of the best thing's to have ever graced this planet if i'm being 100% rn. I know I keep talking about the emotion of the music but broooo. And the Woosung feature? His voice is amazing and is already so raw and emotional and paired with this song I just cannot. The lyrics make me want to sob, which I will probably do later when I get off work. And the the reference back to So Far Away? I'm on the floor someone please hug me.

Yoongi's vocals go fucking crazy in Life Goes On. If this was my introduction to Yoongi I would 100% believe that he's a singer and has been his whole life. The pure raw talent of this man will never cease to amaze me.

In conclusion, I love Min Yoongi with my whole chest and I hope he knows how much his music helps people, because it really, really helps. I can never even fully express just how this album alone helps me, that's not even speaking about all his other solo projects and the hundreds of songs he's worked on throughout his career.

If you read all of that I love u and I hope u have a spectacular day.

[self-loathing-angel-of-thursday2]

Beautiful Spouse’s Thoughts 01x07 The Case of the Very Long Stairway

“What was that spider made up of? It looked like a bunch of Hershey kisses all tied up together in the shape of a spider. It was very strange” “the hell is that shirt? A pink snake? That’s kinda funny” “Does he have dentures on?” “Idk it doesn’t look like it. Idk if it was for the character or not” “I didn’t like bird people anyway” “I would like to understand the mechanism that spews the hot wax outside the skull. I know it’s CG, but is it hot in the skull and cold in the room?” “It’s not peer pressure if she’s not one of their peers, right?” “Is that Season 2?” “why is she reasoning with a dead boy?” “you have to be alive to do those things I assume” “so now is Jenny going to see the boys? Or is she still clueless?” “huh that’s kinda funny” “if ghosts were real, imagine the crazy fucked up tv shows they’d make about whatever. Just assume they’re real, that changes how we operate, what shows would happen?” “what if you don’t know that many people?” “doesn’t he have an infinite sack?” “is this s2 already? Is every season a level of hell” “is that the crazy lady?” “this looks kinda like that one nightclub downtown” “was he trying to walk through it? Or travel the mirror or something?” “or that one hotel in Seattle” “Didn’t it say DO NOT RING in the fkn journal? Why did he ring the bell? But it’s scratched out? So do ring it?” “this is the lockpicking lawyer…” “I want Potbelly’s now” “this is like the first hallway they ran threw but shittified” “that’s just wallpaper made to look like books. It has no depth. The books in the foreground look real though” “I feel like after a century, you’d be way more efficient than that, and you’d have way more paper around you”” “mmkay” “what’s that?” “why so many feelings?” “really? He’s going to give up on him that easy huh? Better than going off with the only person who’s walked into the room in the last 100 years?” “wouldn’t Death have put the kid there? Why did Death come back?” “so does this make teenagers children then? I’m not saying I agree or disagree. I’m just asking for facts” “we’re all itching to go into hell?” “that’s interesting” “maybe she doesn’t want them back?” “is that the mind’s eye or something?” “literally burying him ok fine” laughter “Ok” “oh hey bitch” “why are we looking at lobotomy shit?” laughter

“I think they meant to make those look creepier than they were” “almost a stranger things vibe” “I feel like he could have been quieter than that” “oh it’s not Hershey kisses; it’s a bunch of weird dolls” “ok”

“Is it only the eight eyes on the head or is it all the eyes that work?” “imagine filming this” “fkn what the fuck” “what did you do at work today/ Squirm around on the floor. That was insane” “just a few more” “get the hell out before your argue” sigh

“Say it on the other side” “time to fkn go bud” “you could have gone faster but we had to deal with our feelings. Let’s fkn go” “I suppose that what happens to the other lady counts as a near death experience” “that was a very odd technicality” “ok”

“Can’t Jenny see the boys? It would make the explanation so much easier” “he’s going to kill the tree though so that’s not good” “only 4 of them” “give them to the crow and see if he explodes if he doesn’t take them back?” “what does it taste like I wonder” “is it like swallowing a hard candy?”

[rookie-critic]

Fast X (2023, dir. Louis Leterrier) - review by Rookie-Critic

Here we are... at the beginning of the end of the road. This, for better and for worse, might be the fastest and most furious of the films to date in the sense that you are being constantly bombarded with cameos, callbacks, crazy action, and cars for the entire 2-1/2 hour runtime. This means that anyone who isn't already familiar with the intricacies of the character relations of the franchise at this point will most assuredly be lost during a good portion of the film. Which isn't necessarily a knock against it, what do you expect from the tenth (eleventh if you count Hobbs & Shaw, which you should) installment in a franchise. We're neck deep and sinking at this point. Chances are if you're still with it this deep into the story, you know what you're getting yourself into and you're in it for the long haul, and I most certainly am. As a new convert into the Fast & Furious cult, I love these things. They're dumb, largely nonsensical, and overly sentimental to a fault, but those are all pieces of this messy web of a puzzle that endear the fans to it, myself included. Fast X is no different, it gives you everything you've come to love about and expect from the franchise, but as far as where it ranks amongst everything, I'd put it more towards the middle of the pack. Yes, it is very fun and I will talk about the things that I liked in a bit, but it also has a lot of issues that are impossible to ignore.

The first, and biggest, detriment to the film is the Justin Lin-shaped hole in the director's chair. Longtime Fast & Furious director Justin Lin (who directed Tokyo Drift, 4, 5, 6, and 9) takes a backseat in this one, opting to just be a co-writer on the film, and the style of the film suffers greatly as a result. This film just looks strange. Obvious and poorly constructed green screen backgrounds are used in places they have no business being in, lines of dialogue have been noticeably dubbed in during post-production, and the entire vibe of the visual style feels very non-Fast & Furious. It just doesn't mesh visually with any of the previous films. Also, and this is a problem I had with the eighth film, too, they never really give a good reason as to why Brian (Paul Walker's character) isn't there. Yes, I understand that Paul Walker is dead in real life, but Brian is 100% still very much alive in-universe, and everything the fans know about who he is as a character knows that he wouldn't be sitting by and allowing this to happen to the people that he loves. In F9, the story of the film allowed a pathway for a very reasonable and believable excuse for his absence, and this film just didn't have it. Fast X also continues the time-honored tradition of this franchise having next to no clue about how to use Mia (Jordana Brewster's character) effectively. She's almost always a part of the top-billed cast, and she's almost always relegated to a glorified cameo appearance. Outside of the first film, 4, 5, and 9 are the only ones that have been able to use Mia effectively (I would like to point out that those are all Lin-directed entries). She's an interesting character, and I'm tired of seeing her get sidelined. All of this on top of the fact the the story of this movie feels a lot like setup for the actual endgame that will happen in the next two films and not like an actual film story in its own right.

However, even with all of that, the movie is still insanely fun, and a lot of this is due to Jason Momoa. The villains in this franchise haven't ever been the strong points of each installment. Most of the time, they're are a template of a stereotypical, hyperbolic bad guy archetype with little personality and next to no motive. Momoa's character, on the other hand, has a motive and more personality than this movie even knows what to do with. He's Marvel's Kingpin mixed with Heath Ledger's Joker à la Fast & Furious and it's a pretty marvelous sight to behold. He injects so much fun and humor into the film that we might have lost otherwise as a result of the central family being split up for the entire film. We get Tyrese's Roman Pierce bringing the comedic relief to his sequences, and in the scenes that focus more on what Vin Diesel's Dominic Toretto is up to, Momoa steps in to pick up the slack (not to mention the pieces of the film following John Cena's Jakob Toretto, who fits like a glove into this franchise). On that note, the segmented nature of this film is handled way better than any time this kind of thing has happened in previous installments. We're following three or four storylines at any given moment in the film, and, for me, it never once felt disjointed. We also get some classic Fast & Furious car-action setpieces (including one truly inspired sequence involving a gigantic bomb rolling its way towards the Vatican) that fully deliver on the promise these movies have set up for the fans. It's not without some heavy issues, but I gotta say, there's something about these movies that is just infectious, and even the worst installments have redeeming qualities that keep me coming back for more.

Score: 7/10

Only in theaters.

[meimi-haneoka]

My apologies for such a delayed response. I got caught up in a few real life things. Thank you so much for replying back. Also, I didn't know that Yukito's bills were paid by Eriol. Is he (and Kaho) the "grandparent(s)" who are always away on trips? I would love to know more! Is this from the OG manga or somewhere else? It would be wonderful if you can recommend me more sources to learn such trivia. On a second ask: I just realised that Syaoran's family is actually immensely wealthy. They have a sprawling colonial style mansion on Victoria Peak. And that seems to house just the head family. I remember Meiling mentioning she lived nearby. That is not just some simple well off money which is exaggerated in anime. If taken seriously, the house would be worth, in the minimum, 100 million USD or so. Given that usually the ultra rich tend to host only about 10-12 percent of their entire net worth in their primary residence, that would mean that Syaoran's (immediate) family's net worth has to be around a billion USD in the minimum. And that is just his own family. I am not even going into the economics of a cousin who also lives nearby on Victoria Peak. That would mean that the Li Clan's wealth must be on mutli-billionaire (in double digits) level stuff. This is some Crazy Rich Asians level stuff. This really lends credibility to those wealthy Li Clan/Enterprises Syaoran-is-a-CEO fanfics. While I really doubt Syaoran is going to be a CEO (he has four sisters, any one of them can do that) given that he is going to be the head of a mage clan and that puts enough responsibilities on his plate as it is, these are some insane realisations. No wonder, some clan relatives raised objections at their heir being away from them under potentially dangerous circumstances. Also, no wonder Meiling (and Syaoran) treat flights (and entire trips) back and forth between Japan and Hong Kong like long distance bus journey tickets.

Hello again!! It's completely ok and as you can see my replies aren't immediate either 😅 So let's see...

Is this from the OG manga or somewhere else?

From chapter 1 of Clear Card, actually!! Let me get you the exact panel...

This is from the official ENG translation. Here Kero says that Eriol managed to do something about the management and legal rights over Yukito's house, so he didn't have anything to worry about. Basically he's taking care of the administration of the building and any legal stuff related to that house (paying taxes and such, so in short I said he's been "paying for it" but to be more precise this is what he's doing). (And no, Kero didn't say "it's unsafe for him to be all alone up there", he actually said "it would be careless to leave (the house) unattended for long time" to explain why Yukito didn't stay over at the Kinomoto's that night - I managed to find a translation mistake even in this random panel, oh my gosh).

I just realised that Syaoran's family is actually immensely wealthy

Yeaaaah he's very rich 😂everyone knows his immediate family got a huge mansion on Victoria Peak and I've been told that's a very luxurious area of Hong Kong!

No wonder, some clan relatives raised objections at their heir being away from them under potentially dangerous circumstances

I know right? That bit was added in the anime and I found it made a lot of sense. In my years of reading SyaoSaku fanfictions I've seen countless of stories about how the Li Clan would be totally against Syaoran's union with Sakura, but with Clear Card we found out that the contrary opinions were actually quite limited to a few unhappy members (and again, Yelan is the head so if she says 'yes' they have to comply), which if you think about it is something that happens in any family, even the best ones. There's always going to be someone who will complain. And they have good reasons, having the next head of the clan living abroad isn't exactly the best of the situations, but I'm sure that Syaoran and Sakura will find a way to manage this when they'll be married (I'm pretty sure Syaoran will stay in Japan as promised, and won't make Sakura leave her family and friends). This connects to your next comment

no wonder Meiling (and Syaoran) treat flights (and entire trips) back and forth between Japan and Hong Kong like long distance bus journey tickets.

They have the money to do so, and the trip isn't that long, so yeah 😂😂😂 I bet Syaoran will be doing back & forth between Japan and Hong Kong, but it's not going to be a problem!

[tinky-dinky]

Your takes on Lyanna are objectively correct and her actions did set up what would be the eventual War of the Five Kings lol. The fact that there is pushback on this from those Lyanna apologists is hilarious to me as it is objectively what happened. She gets treated with such kid gloves by fandom it drives me crazy. The only characterization we have of her is her bitching how she doesn't want to marry Robert because he can't 'stick to one bed' and has a bastard child already and then she runs off with the married crown prince who has a true wife and two trueborn children at home. The fact that she died as a result of giving birth to her bastard affair baby after bitching about Robert's bastard is one of the more hilarious examples of karmic justice in the books lol.

100% agreed with you, my dear nonnie.

The fandom doesn’t hold Lyanna accountable for her decisions and actions because she’s a child….and yet the Stark children are all held accountable for their actions, despite all being younger than Lyanna.

I haven’t seen a single person say Robb isn’t to blame for the consequences of his decision to marry Jeyne because he’s a child. He’s a year, maybe two, younger than Lyanna.

I see a lot of people demonise Robert pre-Rebellion, and it seriously irritates me. Before the rebellion- so when Lyanna was complaining about him sleeping around and fathering bastards- he had one bastard, Mya Stone. Who was born somewhere around a year after Robert watched his parents die. If you factor in travel time from the Stormlands to the Vale, it seems Robert left the Stormlands as soon as he could and almost immediately fathered Mya. Given he later takes to drinking and whoring to bury his pain and grief over Lyanna, is it not possible he was doing the same with his pain and grief for his parents?

Another insane thing about the fandom I’ve seen is people excusing that show!Lyanna named her son Aegon, seemingly to replace Rhaegar’s literally just brutally murdered baby of the same name. Rhaegar gets blamed for this, even though he was dead. And had been dead for some time. There was no reason for Lyanna to stick with his name choice unless she agreed with it. Which, given she also agreed to marry Rhaegar in and hide out in the kingdom his wife was from (jesus christ poor Elia could these two have been bigger assholes?!), does not seem out of character. But that is show!Lyanna of course.

I’ve seen suggestions that Lyanna will name Jon a northern name (begging the question of why, then, Ned would change it?). Like Brandon, to honour her brother. The one who died a horrific death directly because of her choice to run off with the married prince. Delightful.

As for the subject of the War of the Five Kings, I feel the need to clarify as one idiot did claim I blamed Lyanna directly for it, when I did not and do not. I do blame her (and Rhaegar) for the Rebellion, the ramifications of which led to the WOFK, those being:

- No ‘kidnapping’, no dead Rickard and Brandon, meaning either Rickard or Brandon would be Lord of Winterfell and Brandon would be married to Catelyn, not Ned. This, of course, changes things dramatically.

- No Rebellion, no King Robert, no forced marriage to Cersei. Robert doesn’t father a billion bastards and isn’t murdered. Cersei…may well still have twincest bastards but wouldn’t be queen, wouldn’t put one of said twincest bastards on the throne, no execution of Ned.

- No Rebellion, no dead Elbert and Denys Arryn, no marriage between Jon Arryn and Lysa Tully, no manipulations via Baelish. Without Lysa to convince Jon to elevate Petyr to higher positions, Baelish can’t kickstart wars or fuck people over so much.

- No Rebellion, no exiled Targaryens, no dragons, no tyrannical pyromaniacal dragon queen and potentially a sane Viserys.

- No Rebellion, no dead Elia, Rhaenys and Aegon. No rebelling from Dorne.

- No Rebellion, no death of Quellon Greyjoy, likely no Ironborn rebellion, hopefully less messed up Theon.

I could go on. The ramifications of Lyanna and Rhaegar’s selfishness and stupidity run deep. But I think I’ve made my point.

[sowingseedsandshootinghoops]

Moving Forward: How to Build a Better Life

Note on the text: I used Stephen King’s Doctor Sleep as published in 2016 by Pocket Books

In many ways this is a book about how to change your life and build a fulfilling life for yourself regardless of what you’ve done in the past. Dan Torrence is a recovering alcoholic and it’s through his journey to sobriety that we can all learn a little bit about how to forgive ourselves for our past and truly move on. Because we all deserve to live fulfilling lives regardless of what we’ve done.

The book starts with a quote from Alcoholics Anonymous: “we stood at the turning point. Half measures availed us nothing” (dedication page). That is in many ways the central lesson of the book. Dan only starts to get better when accepts that “the only one who can put on the brakes is [himself]. . . . [That he doesn’t] have to live this way if [he doesn’t] want to. [He] can of course. . . but [he doesn’t] have to” (68). Change is not possible until one fully understands where “here” is and that it’s a bad place to be. You have to own our own life and our own choices before you can access the power that you need to actually make the changes that you need to make in your life.

Dan does this in various ways, some obvious, others less so. One of the obvious ways in which he does this is by admitting he is an alcoholic and taking responsibility for the ways in which he has hurt other people (specifically a ex girlfriend whom he stole from). On another less obvious note, he also takes responsibility for his life by admitting WHY he drinks. Understanding what triggers you and figuring why you do what you do is important. Because until you learn what your trigger is and find another way to deal with that specific trigger, your road to recovery is going to be longer and bumpier than it needs to be.

In the case of Dan the reason he drinks has to do with the supernatural power that he has. Now fans of The Shining will remember that Dan has the ability to communicate telepathically with other people, specifically ghosts, and to read people’s minds. While there are some benefits to having this power, it is, by and large, something in his brain that he wishes he could turn off. And while

warm morning sunshine was good and the pleasant feeling of muscles that had been worked hard, and waking up without a hangover but the price- all these crazy dreams and visions, not to mention the random thoughts of passing strangers that sometimes found their way past his defenses- was too high. Too high to bear. . . . Without the booze to at least stun it, these visions [would] go on until they [drove him] insane. . . . The mind was a blackboard. Booze was the eraser (95, 100-101).

So if step one is admit you have a problem, and step two is realize that only you have the power to change your life, and step three is own your own choices by understanding why you make those choices, then the final step must be to resolve to do things in a different way from here on out. It means that instead of doing X when your triggered you do Y. In the case of Danny it means that instead of drinking to deal with the effects of his power he’s going to try to use them to help people in the ways that only he can. So he helps teach other telepaths, like Abra, how to use their powers and then he works as a hospice nurse to help his patients die well. By the end of the book he has accepted that he “could help [people]. It was his sacrament. What he was made for” and he refuses to let his past and his feelings about his past dictate what he does now because “that was then and this is now. Because the past is gone even though it defines the present” (634, 585). Everyone deserves to lead happy and fulfilling lives regardless of what they’ve done in the past. And that is what the character of Dan does in the end.

[l-in-the-light]

Just adding few points from myself:

Law was after poneglyphs in the timeskip after all, huh. Maybe we really overlook his declaration about going after the one piece treasure. Seems he was 100% serious about it.

This really explains why he asks Robin here about it, it's to make sure. Seems before that moment he was searching for poneglyphs blindly and went after each and every one he heard about (Pirate island was a good shot, I will give him that). Now finally he has a clear direction. I wonder how does he know that he has to search for the poneglyphs to find the one piece tho?

God damn it, he's even MORE reckless than I thought he is. He hijacked a passenger ship ALONE? Picked up a fight with the whole Hachinosu on his very own?? That's even more crazy than what Garp did! And people claim that Luffy with Law is like madman paired with a normal sane guy. Wrong! Those two fit into same insane category, excuse you??

From the sound of it, that was yet another mission he did while leaving Hearts behind. Polar Tang is not even used for this little escapade. Imo that means Polar Tang was left behind with Law's crew, while he proceeded on his own. Sounds like a pattern to me...

I'm not surprised he orchestrated the whole thing (we were told he was the mastermind of Rocky Port Incident after all), neither that he worked together with Koby, that much I figured out already. I even expected him to be like "let's work together, I will gain something I want from it, and you will as well" (it means Law was the one who put Koby in charge of saving passengers!). What I'm surprised about is that Law also worked together with Blackbeard of all people. I thought Blackbeard would just waltz into Hachinosu after all is done and take over the unprotected island, but nope, apparently Blackbeard can also take some initiative instead of just benefitting from actions of others. Interesting that Blackbeard isn't beyond cooperation as well, huh.

Not surprised Law had no problem working with a Marine and one of the worst pirates out there. It never stopped him before lol. Caesar, anyone? Law did have an actual agreement with him! It's funny how people either gloss over this fact like it was never a thing or overemphasize it to prove that Law is no better than Caesar is.

I'm so tempted to write a post in which I would mend together Law's grand plan, but I'm always hesistant before stepping into murky waters. But this SBS reveal about Rocky Port Incident actually does fit my hypothesis so far, even better than I expected it to, hm. Choices, choices...

I guess it's because I have no clue why Law told Luffy they will be enemies from now on, at the end of Wano. It doesn't really add up. Law's deep dedication to Luffy, Law's goals aligning somewhat with his, Law starting to open up more to people, and then boom, the "enemies" bomb got dropped instead. I have a few reasonable explanations, but I always feel like I'm missing a major piece of the puzzle.

The Rocky Port incident...

...turned out to be another instance of Law meticulously crafting a plan only to shoot himself in the foot, then forming an emergency alliance and somehow turning the tide in his favor. That's incredibly consistent 😭

But now everything makes more sense. It seems Law's intended bargaining chip for becoming a Shichibukai was to hand over a Poneglyph/rubbings to the World Government, and he was accepted not because he submitted 100 hearts of random pirates, but primarily because he played a key role in taking down Ochoku and saving some VIP royalties (also for securing the Poneglyph, I suppose).

According to the translation we have in hand rn, the name of the vessel Law hijacked was "Rocky Port". We know there's a port in Hachinosu with the same name. Maybe it was named after the ship after this incident.

But what "important" Poneglyph was there, anyway?

I don't think it's the missing Road Poneglyph. Probably a Rio Poneglyph protected by the resident pirates. I wonder if Law was originally looking for the Road Poneglyph possessed by the man marked by flame, but then changed his target. Curious that he didn't know two of the Road Poneglyphs are possessed by pirates, let alone Kaidou and Linlin..

The chaos that broke out was not part of Law's plan, he was lucky that Blackbeard arrived to join the fun, and they could come to an agreement. Koby, on the other hand, was probably the only marine who agreed to work with the pirates, and thus was able to save the most number of innocent 'Rocky Port' passengers.

I'm pretty sure it was Law who proposed the alliance. Scoring cookie points aside, his conscience surely kicked in. It wasn't his style to drag a ship of innocent civilians to a devil's nest, so he offered to form a pact with the marines to reduce casualty. Without his presence that buffered both sides, a three way alliance wouldn't have been possible.

I had a hunch that Blackbeard and Law might have worked together for some time. But why did Blackbeard need to work with Law? Was Ochoku that strong?

It seems Law didn't know Blackbeard could use two fruits at once (during their flight at Winner island), so Blackbeard likely didn't go all out. Possibly it was of Blackbeard's best interest to secure his victory without greatly damaging the island that he was soon going to rule, so he decided to follow Law's plan. He likely invited Law to his crew too, similar to Kuzan.

In retrospect, it makes sense as to why the alliance with the Straw hats puzzled Law so much, it wasn't because he didn't expect the chaos but because it was entirely different from his previous experience.

I didn't expect the main story the dive deep into Rocky Port incident, it was only a matter of time until we got a short summary. There's enough meat to it to extend it into a short comic, and there's plenty of time in future.

For now, I'm looking forward to the Japanese fanworks flood on Monday 🍿