#but he'd much rather be gardening honestly...

[rhysintherain]

Oh yeah, this is Cameron, "the Green Knight", technically trained as a knight but currently working as a landscaper, who's coworkers call him that because he's usually covered in grass clippings...

A fantasy book where many characters have dramatic High Fantasy epithets, but for incredibly non-dramatic reasons.

An adventurer known as The Herald of Dawn, but it's because she tends to wake up naturally at 4 or 5 am and every single fucking time wakes up the whole damn camp before sunrise by banging pots and pans together while making herself breakfast.

A nobleman known as The Lord of Shadows, but it's because his land is shaded from all sides by cliffs and mountains and all the other nobility are roasting this guy for not being able to grow or farm anything on his shitty, shady, no-sunshine-having estates.

A courtesan known as The Emerald of [location], but it's because the county she was born in is known for manufacturing forged jewels and gemstones, and so far she is the fakest pretty thing to ever come from there.

An assassin known as The Kiss of Death, but it's because he has somehow acquired every single known and documented STD in his mouth.

The Dark Huntress, named so to distinguish her from The Blonde Huntress.

A prince known as The Raven Prince, but it's because he's autistic and can and WILL tell you everything that is known about ravens, for five hours straight.

[o-sachi]

Wishlist! - Headcanons for WinBre Week!

ᯓ what are the furin boys putting on their wishlist this year? ᯓ characters; sakura haruka, suo hayato, sugishita kyotaro, mitsuki kiryu, kaji ren, umemiya hajime, hiragi toma, togame jo ᯓ tags; just plain platonic headcanons

[🐟]: for day 5 - holidays prompt! @windbreakerweek

Sakura Haruka

"Ehhh? No... I don't want anything..."

He's only saying that because he'd feel like too much of a burden knowing someone might go out of their way to get him a present.

But he's like the easiest person to give a gift to because he will appreciate anything you give him. Hell, the fact that you even thought to get him anything is a gift in and of itself.

Although, he'd prefer something that isn't super expensive.

Wishlist: a new blanket, coupons for omurice, another pair of shoes (pls get our boy a new pair of shoes)

Suo Hayato

"Oh? A gift? How thoughtful of you."

Not really choosy when it comes to gifts either. He's probably hella rich and has everything that he wants already, so gifts are like a kind gesture to him if anything.

Although, he prefers gifts with meaning over ones that are practical.

It's because he can buy the practical stuff, but he can't put in meaning into things that he buys for himself.

Wishlist: rare tea leaves, lucky trinket, calligraphy brush (a hobby he picked up recently)

Sugishita Kyotaro

"For me? Why."

Doesn't really think about gifts, both in the sense of giving and receiving it.

But if you give him one, he'll be over the moon. Doesn't matter what it is really. He's similar to Sakura in this regard.

However, his issue with gifts is that he doesn't know how to react when he's given one. Is a thank you enough? Should he get them a gift too? He's so overwhelmed. Poor guy...

Wishlist: a small plant for his room, a plain shirt, Ume's approval (he's been told you can't put things like this on a wishlist, but he got mad)

Mitsuki Kiryu

"Yippee! You're the best. Thank you so much."

He likes to joke about stuff that he likes to receive. Also jokes about not needing gifts because his fangirls already give him more than enough.

He judges gifts based on aesthetic appeal rather than its practical use. He doesn't care if its useless as long as it'll look good on him or in his room.

I just know this dude has the best reactions when given any gift. Even if he has experienced it soooo many times, he'll make you feel as if he's so thankful for it each time.

Wishlist: gems for the game he's playing, a cat charm, a hamburger phone case (so he can alternate between that and the hotdog phone case)

Kaji Ren

"Wha? What's the occasion? Well, thanks. I guess..."

Super adamant about not wanting to receive any gifts. He says he's happy enough to have loyal friends by his side. Honestly, he's just scared to get emotional if the gift ends up being too good.

Gifts from close friends hold more value to him regardless of what the gift is.

It's pretty easy to predict the things that he would like...

Wishlist: a box of lollipops, a new hoodie, a year's worth of Spotify subscriptions (me too actually sob)

Umemiya Hajime

"Whaddaya know? I also have a little something for you here!"

It actually puts a bit of pressure on you to find Ume the perfect gift because he is THE GIFT GIVER. It's like he always knows what everyone would love.

A really simple guy. Even quality time is considered a gift in his eyes.

Ume prefers gifts that aren't the usual kinds of things you'd buy from the store, so stuff like handmade gifts, home cooked meals, and letters are his favorite things to receive.

Wishlist: a new trowel for gardening, a shirt that says "Tomato Dad", a dinner party with the entire Furin student body (awww)

Hiragi Toma

"Thanks. I'll make sure to use this."

He's like an old man, so gifts that are practical are is preference. His eyes go wide when the thing is multi-purpose and a steal for its price.

He's also the type of person to preserve gift bags to use for another time. Although, he has definitely gifted back to a person using a bag given to him by that same person before...

A big believer of the saying, "It's the thought that counts."

Wishlist: stomach medicine... lots of it, hair gel, perfume/cologne (I JUST KNOW HE SMELLS GOOD)

Togame Jo

"Aww, this for me? You didn't have to."

Nonchalant as fuck when receiving gifts, but trust me, he is sobbing inside. He's so happy someone thought of him.

Also prefers practical gifts, but it hardly matters. As long as you got him something, he'll be grateful for it.

He won't admit it but he enjoys the moment of unwrapping the gift. Even better if it's wrapped neatly and with a bow on top. Kame's not sure why, but he just loves that part.

Wishlist: food foood fooooood, a new pair of sandals, fancy shogi set (to show off to the old men he plays with lol)

o-sachi © 2024 pls do not translate/copy/reupload my work on other platforms.

[gabessquishytum]

Hob is hired to cook for a reclusive businessman he never sees. He was hired by his very organized but stressed PA, Lucienne, who tells him that unfortunately his new employer, M. Endless, keeps weird hours and has very strange taste in food.

But the pay is good and Hob doesn’t mind a weird client.

Hob does indeed have weird hours. Sometimes he isn’t needed for a couple of weeks and then suddenly he’ll be on call for a month, staying in a guest bedroom in case he’s texted an order for something random, like cherries jubilee at midnight.

And the house is huge, so he really never sees anyone there.

Until one night his mysterious employer throws a party. Hob has two weeks to prepare and he throws a gigantic feast. Lucienne brings in a ton of very well trained catering staff and at least 200 people dressed to the nines show up.

Hob stays on to cook and make sure everything goes as planned, but when he’s finally allowed a break, he takes it and grabs a cigarette in a corner of the garden.

There, he finds one of the party guests, also apparently avoiding the crowd.

They start talking. The guy is HOT. He looks like a runway model, introducing himself as Dream and hob definitely wouldn’t mind a quickie before his break is over.

Offhand, hob mentions that he works for the host and he’s never met him.

Dream quirks an eyebrow. “You don’t know what he looks like? Nor what he does?”

“No, but he’s a weird one, that’s for sure.”

Hob goes on, charming the man, he’s sure, until Dream finally kisses him (maybe just to shut him up).

Hob gets his quickie, coming with the man’s tongue buried so deep in his arse he could cry. And that’s when Lucienne interrupts.

Turns out hob just called his boss a weirdo, got off with him…oh and they’re out of the waygu sliders.

Alakdjfhshaja its giving great gatsby vibes <333 love it.

Lucienne coughs politely and tells Dream that he's wanted to give his speech to the guests - that's literally how Hob finds out that Dream is the host!! Then he's left to scramble back into the kitchen, furiously wash his hands, and try to make up for his missteps by whipping up a few of Dream’s favoured tidbits to send up for the buffet table. The whole time his knees are trembling and he just can't fucking believe that he had the boss's tongue shoved so far up his hole he was seeing stars.

He doesn't see Dream until its pretty much dawn the next morning. Hob stayed up supervising the cleanup, and he's still diligently wiping down counters when Dream appears in the doorway. He looks exhausted, but he smirks at Hob and beckons him to come closer. Hob goes willingly and drops to his knees, ready to apologise for not recognising Dream and calling him a weirdo. He also really, really just wants to suck Dream off - any excuse to be on eye-level with his cock, honestly.

From now on, Hob’s going to make sure that he delivers Dream’s meals personally - hell, he'll hand feed him if Dream allows it. And Dream (who has never had anyone take such good care of him before, except perhaps Lucienne in a professional capacity) can't help but fall in love with the himbo chef. The sloppy blowjob on the kitchen floor surely convinced him that he'd never be letting Hob find employment elsewhere. Even if he has to promote Hob to "boyfriend" sometime sooner rather than later <3

[library-ducky]

Ghouls on vacation

Totally not inspired by me going to the seaside over the weekend. Not at all.

HEADCANONS UNDER THE CUT, LET'S GO

AETHER

gets everything set up

if there's a Papa nearby, he will make him sit down and rest, no buts

he'll go swimming, but will not put his head under the water. And he'll do at least one dive-bomb to soak any unfortunate soul who is close enough

he'll read crime mistery books while lounging on a deck chair (bonus point if there's a beer in his hand)

he has the Dad™️ fit: flip-flops, swimming trunks (with palm trees or dolphins or pineapples on them), an open hawaian shirt and the sunglasses and baseball cap combo

RAIN

knows how to surf

idk how or when or where he'd learn, but he DOES

also the sun brings out his bioluminescent spots (the biology probably doesn't check out but idc, I headcanon that he has bioluminescent freckles and the sun brings out freckles so)

(in his human glamour), he doesn't tan a lot (I might be projecting but it's *MY* headcanon and *I* get to choose the bitch that will simply not tan 😤)

if possible, he'll unglamour just to dive as deep as he can go

he's the bastard that brings out the pretty rocks and seashells

might also befriend a fish or two while he's at it

he pulls the "my hair is wet so I have to shake the water off OH NO I WAS STANDING TOO CLOSE AND SOMEONE GOT SPRAYED this surely was not on purpouse I would never 🥺👉🏻👈🏻"

PHANTOM

he'd be a bit scared to go in at first, but ultimately would get coaxed into it

he swims by doggy paddling for the better part of his time at the beach. He knows how to swim, that's just more fun to him

builds sandcastles (and honestly slays at it)

hates the feeling of salt in his hair after it dries, so Cumulus brings a water bottle along so he can rinse it out when he gets out of the sea

he gets HUNGRY after a swim

tries to dive along with Rain, but isn't able to go as deep since he's not a water Ghoul. He will, however, make it his job to point out pretty seashells and demand Rain gets them for him

SWISS

an absolute heathen in the water

he'll creep up behind people (mostly Dew or Phantom) and push their head under the water

he steals a bucket from Phantom and uses it to absolutely SOAK Aurora with the water he scoops from the sea

he tans both in human glamour and in actual Ghoul form

also knows how to surf (dude bro energy fr fr)

he'll be a menace and playfully tease and torment everyone but as soon as someone tells him to stop, he'll be on his best behaviour

reminds everyone to drink water (resorted to throwing a bottle at Rain's head one time cuz he would ignore him and refuse to stop swimming. Rain listened immediately)

DEWDROP

hair in a high bun IMMEDIATELY, will NOT let them get wet

unless Swiss pulls him under, but that usually warrants Swiss getting chased up and down the beach for 15 minutes with a fuming (HAH) Dew behind him

he'd bring a sunshade umbrella to stick in the sand (and then not use it cuz he likes to bask in the sun)

he'd also join Phantom in his sandcastle endeavours by digging a moat around the structure

will swim, but only for a little bit, he'd rather make himself sizzle in the sun

he doesn't really tan, but also doesn't get a sunburn (something something fire Ghoul)

Cumulus still manhandles him into putting on sunscreen (as she does with everyone)

MOUNTAIN

THE SUN MAKES HIS FRECKLES SO PROMINENT AND EVERYONE LOOKS AT HIM LIKE 💖👄💖

usually throws his hair into a haphazard bun and leaves it like that for the entire time

he jumps into the water EXCLUSIVELY by diving headfirst

he doesn't mind the salt on his skin after he dries off, he's used to the grime from the greenhouse and the gardens anyways

he tans, and the freckles on his shoulders/back/collarbone get much more visible as well

his cheeks also get a bit pinker from the sun and everyone calls him adorable because of it

will observe the local flora and fauna, he just can't help himself honestly (and he WILL tell Rain all the sea life fun facts he knows)

drinks only water, but occasionally he'll treat himself to a pre-mixed cocktail if Cumulus brings any (she always does)

CUMULUS

mom friend fr

brings an extra tube of sunscreen (both for the body and the face) just in case someone forgets

manhandles EVERYONE into putting it on

also brings some extra towels in case someone gets theirs wet by accident or forgets it completely

she packs snacks and fruit, as well as drinks (the cooler bag carried by Aether, of course)

she likes swimming, and doesn't mind diving or getting her hair wet (her hair gets really curly and fluffy when it's dry and everyone thinks it's the cutest thing ever)

reads romance novels

she steals the sunshade from Dew, he doesn't need it anyways

helps people to brush out their hair if they need it after a swim

the only person who could convince Rain to get out of the water immediately

CIRRUS

Rich Wine Aunt energy and she shows it

black bikini with a black sheer robe over it

big sunglasses and a big ass hat as well

she doesn't really go swimming a lot, she preferes to tan

reads horror novels on the beach

usually drinks a cosmopolitan cocktail while she lounges, sometimes (although rarely) a beer

she keeps her hair down for the added Dramatic Effect

she keeps everyone (or at least the Ghouls not in the water) cool with her air magic (Dew asked her to stop doing that for him cuz he likes burning in the sun)

will not tolerate being bothered in her peace (she will, actually, but she'll be extremely annoyed about it)

SUNSHINE

much like Dew, she loves to bask in the warmth of the sun

her hair gets hella curly and bouncy from the salt water

she has a whole "after tanning" routine so her skin won't get messed up

also she tans quite a lot

uses a tanning jam

likes to nap under the sunshade with Cumulus

she puts on headphones, plays some music aaaaand she's dozing off

the third surfer of the group (YES I'M HAVING "MALIBU RISING" BRAINROT IT'S SUCH A GOOD SUMMER BOOK)

makes necklaces out of the shells Rain picks up (if she manages to convince him to give some up)

star shaped sunglasses

AURORA

helps Phantom build sandcastles

also brings pretty rocks (and steals shells from Rain when he's not there) to decorate them

she LOVES swimming and diving

"her hair turns bright pink in salt water" ~@ligovskaya (okay Barbie mermaid toy moment 💅🏻✨️)

she does her nails on theme (either to do with the sea, the beach, fish, so on and so forth)

is in the process of learning how to surf and is being taught by Sunshine

she likes to listen to music but like on an ipod shuffle with wired headphones

has heart shaped sunglasses (got them from Sunshine cuz she decided that she's adopting Aurora as a sister, therefore they have to match)

she has the cutest, frilliest pink bathing suit (she's a pink girlie to me)

uses a tanning jam as well, but mostly because it smells nice

okay, this is it for now, I will gladly do other Ghouls or Papas if you guys want, you can pop into my ask box as well :3

✩₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧ reblogs are appreciated ✩₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧

[caramelarchive]

╾ Assorted Box of Headcanons

like a box of chocolates!

for L (strawberry chunk white chocolate swirl), Light (orange tang dark cocoa drink), Misa (chocolate mint icecream parfait) and Matsuda (chocolate mousse + full milk cream) I have moved to my main @lawlietscaramels please follow there for new content!

　★━━─・‥…━━━☆

L: strawberry chunk white chocolate swirl

I think L's actually very prone to getting freaked out by jumpscares and unexpected loud noises. For this reason he hates horror movies and thunder. If he happens to experience a fright like this, he'll either go very very still and start trembling, OR he will jump ten feet in the air, drop whatever he's holding, and curse loudly.

I don't think L swears much outside of that, actually.

if you wear glasses he'll just put his hands on your face at any given moment to push them up your nose because the lenses aren't even in front of your eyes any more and what is wrong with you.

he would not kiss you if you have recently eaten something that does not contain heart-attack levels of caffeine and sugar.

yeah he's actually pretty germophobic.. at the same time man will straight up forget to have a shower/shave/brush his teeth.

well actually for that last one he just eats peppermint candy and calls it a day.

When L's handcuffed to Light, they sleep in the same bed. Well, usually L's still working, but he actually does a lot of things in Light's side of the bed. Like eat his food. especially crunchy crumbly food. petty ass.

if you can manage to sit on his lap while he's in his 40% frog pose you can stay there.

you will be used as a stress ball.

feed him sweets. he'll melt once he's distracted from work enough to realise your fingers are pressing the candies into his mouth

what lovely hands you have perhaps you should put them in his mouth

L loves the rain but I think he would prefer experiencing it in a small garden rather than a rooftop. or just in a driveway. the rooftops are just too high. he can see everything and it makes him feel small at a time he wants to feel at one with the whole world.

I'm seriously debating over whether he can square dance you drunk or if he has three left feet because it's one extreme or the other

his wardrobe looks like Homer Simpson's.

sigh. I kind of feel like L is often too busy to shave and usually has some degree of stubble. if you don't like it help him shave please he'll die kiss you

L probably has a lot of burner phones but no matter how you contact him, even in person, you're only allowed to call him L or Lawliet when you are completely completely definitely alone and you'll usually have to whisper. whisper in his ear and lick his neck he will literally shiver

anyway the point I was ACTUALLY going to make is call him lollipop (sweets. and sounds like Lawli-pop)

likes to just stare at you. no emotion in those pretty bottomless grey eyes of his but his internal monologue has suddenly switched to describe everything he likes about you.

big sucker for kisses. no time. :(

Light: orange tang dark cocoa drink

Okay but Light, when he isn't Kira, would actually be the sweetest boyfriend alive. Now yes I know he's portrayed as bored and apathetic but if he fell in love he would fall HARD!! to the centre of the earth!!! in his confession he might even propose getting married and raising 10 kids!!

honestly this kid shuts himself off from other people as much as L does, the only difference is that he's easier to get to. be his friend. ask about him.

sigh he'd buy you flowers.

he's got such a goofy laugh he sounds like a baby hyena or something.

Light is the kind of guy who would have the weirdest dreams. like "my entire class from high school went to a water park and I uncovered a cult that was plotting to kill me and sacrifice me to the teacher and-" if you let him explain in detail it's going on for hours.

every time L eats his food on Light's side of the bed, Light cuts his nails on L's side of the bed. petty ass #2

he would not like an "orange tang dark cocoa drink."

I feel like the best way to meet Light would be through the school's debate team. I started thinking about this when watching the musical (it wasn't a debate team but it WAS a debate)

omg if you managed to BEAT him?

who is this. he must know immediately. and also you were wrong back there- you hang out in the library? why hello there

his favourite food as a child was dinosaur nuggies. he thought they were made from dinosaur meat.

he still loves dino nuggies

okay as for when Light IS Kira. some of this is for if you have a relationship beforehand, some if you meet after.

you're actually one of the few people, along with Sayu and to some degree his parents, who he REALLY doesn't want to tell in case you hate him. but at the same time would you like to be the first angel of the new world?????

so he tries to figure out what you think of Kira. God or the Devil?

please love him. please don't hate him.

and let's be honest even if you don't think much of yourself you'd be much better help than Misa, who cut her life in half anyway.

I think Light's the kind of guy who, if he did perchance meet you as a detective on the Task Force would condition you to like him with a neat little psychological trick we like to call POSITIVE REINFORCEMENT.

you get something you like every time you see him and soon enough you get excited to see him!

at the same time he's constantly making you question whether Kira SHOULD be caught, all Inception style.

you'll love him. or you'll die. jk! (he's not)

Misa: chocolate mint icecream parfait

when she was little she wore rainbow clothes. real 180 when it turned to black black black.

loooves the beach.

sand! sun! swimming! bikini modelling! seashells! surfboards! sexy men with no shirts on! LIGHT WITH NO SHIRT ON!!!!

Misa has a really large collection of earrings of all types. kittens, the solar system, swords.

If you're friends with her she'll eventually pull you along to a modelling gig. No matter how much you protest, it will eventually happen. You'll just be there. Just pray Misa didn't forget to check the schedule and today is lingerie day.

she has 4000 photos on her phone, 3500 of which are selfies and 1750 of which have you in them.

her favourite Pokémon is Stufful!

Misa loves making origami and had a couple hundred paper cranes hanging from the roof of her bedroom when she lived with her parents.

This girl's FAVOURITE thing to do is hold hands. She would never let go if possible. Paint her fingernails and do her makeup, she'd be utterly devoted to you forever and ever. She'll do the same for you if you want.

Has a great singing voice!

Loves flowers. she reminds me of sunflowers in particular. give her bouquets. she'll put them everywhere and watch them slowly die with a smile.

Out of all food "types" I think Misa would like pastries and bakery food the most.

Her favourite letter used to be "L" but then she met L and it immediately became "H". "L" is now number 26 on the list.

Misa has the biggest collection of unused stickers and stamps to ever exist. She thinks they're really pretty.

if you're dating her or even someone else, DOUBLE DATES. anywhere and everywhere. parks. movies. restaurants. she will show up in your bedroom at night.

dressed up as the grim reaper for the past 5 Halloweens straight. only ate candy in pink wrapping.

she's a little like a cat in that she's prone to just knock coffee over paperwork or press her hands all over your keyboard. but, like a cat, she's too adorable to be angry at.

pick her up. spin her around. kiss her.

Matsuda: chocolate mousse + full milk cream

got really excited when Misa started talking about Pokémon but realised she just liked them because they're cute.. sob! he just wants someone to play Pokémon Go! with him!!!!

a very good chef. more actual meals than pastries etc though.

ughhhh his chicken parmigiana tastes like HEAVEN. the salad on the side is LIQUID GOLD.

just a silly little man who takes four tries to tie his tie properly every morning.

he can walk on his hands *bites lip sexily and accidentally breaks the skin, gets an infection and goes to hospital*

sigh he's so pathetic I love him

but goddamn. you guys remember that episode Matsuda overheard the Yotsuba meeting?? When he got his colour like L and Light AND HIS EXPRESSION???

sometimes he has unintentional moments like that, so serious and cool.

If you were dating him during the Kira case he'd ask L to help him erase every single record of your name to protect you. if L didn't agree the first time he'd make sweets with you to give to him. Matsuda is as cunning as anyone when he needs to be, though he hates doing it and can usually get along with puppy eyes.

"you really don't have to do that" when you tell him you love him or kiss him or just smile at him. he's too nice for his own good.

please coach him out of people pleasing.

I think he'd be really into camping actually!! can you imagine him in a silly little hat sitting around a campfire and toasting s'mores and damper?

His ENTIRE face lights up when he sees you. He thinks he's slick about hiding his crush from you but he really isn't.

he would just die if you had time to cuddle and watch a movie together one night. little kissies and calling him cute and really in general not watching the movie, just cuddling

He'd be the best friend EVER. super supportive and funny and generally just great. he'd make you soup if you got sick. he would hold your hair out of your face when you threw up. and then he would probably have to throw up too.

sorry that got a little gross dhbdbd

uhh Matsuda only drives Mazdas. he thinks it's funny (the name of the car came from the surname Matsuda). I think he'd like blue cars.

he likes to decorate the Task Force for the holidays to bring cheer and raise morale. he's the one reason nobody's gone insane yet (except Light but that couldn't be helped)

　★━━─・‥…━━━☆

𝖎𝖋 𝖞𝖔𝖚 𝖑𝖎𝖐����𝖉 𝖎𝖙 ˏˋ⋆˖⁺˖⁀➷ 𝖕𝖑𝖊𝖆𝖘𝖊 𝖗𝖊𝖇𝖑𝖔𝖌 + 𝖋𝖔𝖑𝖑𝖔𝖜

[thethingswedotomorrow]

Aziraphale and Crowley are both idiots, with a severe lack of common sense on any given day.

But these idiots were both tasked with watching and guiding the new humans God had created, for better or for worse. What they didn't realize was just how unprepared they both were for this task.

Before being sent out to Eden, they were BOTH given a crash course on the newest creatures, (humans??) roaming around the garden. Just the essentials, don't poke here, this does that, avoid this bit, this part leaks, etc.

Aziraphale's lesson was much more formal, only highlighting the parts of the humans that were deemed 'essential' by the Archangels

Having to sit through Gabriel explaining the purpose of a tongue for hours was enough to make anyone zone out, let alone a principality who had just been told that the place he was being sent to would be full of creatures that were filled with an odd combination of liquid at all times. Good Lord, how was he meant to protect these humans when they could explode at any time?

Aziraphale had checked out mentally by the time they started covering exactly what the eyebrows were for

Hell decided to take a more hands-on approach.

By hands-on, they meant having Dagon draw what they assumed a human might vaguely look like, and then explaining the best ways to torture the squiggly bits

Crowley spent most of the class trying to decide whether the drawing looked more like a horse or a soggy blanket crumpled into a pile

(Crowley had only recently learned about the 'horse' idea, and he was decidedly not impressed by them.)

(He could get behind this blanket idea, however. He'd have to check that one out in a few years.)

So once they'd both reached the Garden, and checked the place out for themselves, they both came to the same conclusion.

They had some SERIOUS questions about what was going on here

Naturally (and reluctantly for one of them), they gravitated towards each other. They both knew asking either of their sides would imply that they didn't pay attention to the classes. And neither of them wanted to have a repeat lesson, thank you.

"Ah, yes, hello, Crawley was it?"

"Obviously, still me. Be odd for me to be someone else, wouldn't it?"

"Yes, well. I was wondering..if you had..perhaps....noticed anything about these humans?"

"Noticed what? They're awfully boring. Told me 'get up there and make some trouble', but all they do is sleep and eat things and walk around. Made 'em trip a few times, but it got old by the 5th time around honestly."

"Well I don't think they're meant to do much more. If they were, then they would have. As is God's plan. Oh there is no need for dramatics Crawley."

It was at that point Crawley sighed VERY aggressively, flopped down onto a rather soft looking patch of grass, and looked up at Aziraphale.

"Was there a point here, Angel, or have you just come to preach?"

"I do wonder, however, if God was perhaps made aware of the issues in the hardware, as it were."

"What are you on about?"

"Yesterday, I saw Eve walking around, admiring all the plants and such. They really are truly beautiful, you know. Have you seen them yet?"

"Nah, haven't gotten over there yet. Mostly been hanging around on the rocks, very warm there. Why? What'd she do?"

"Well, she walked up to the flowers, and..then she just..sort of...." Aziraphale trails off, very hesitant about how to describe the situation.

"Sort of what?" Now Crowley is curious. Always been his downfall, that sort of thing.

"She just... she stuck her face into them."

"She WHAT?"

"Exactly! Stuck her face into them, no warning or anything. That poor, poor woman could have been killed. Who knows what those flowers will do to her tongue."

"HER WHAT?"

It was at this point that they both realized that they may not have gotten the same education on the humans and their anatomy.

"So, they aren't actually going to explode? Oh thank God."

"Well, I mean they could, I suppose. If you poked them enough, or shook them up really hard. Y'think we should try that?"

"Crawley, no."

Between both of them, they gathered enough information about the humans to have a general idea of what they should and shouldn't do to help them survive

(Crowley might enjoy watching them trip, but he's a Demon, not a monster. There'd be no point going and killing them right after they launch the whole program.)

It turned out that what they had gathered between Heaven and Hell was quite literally the bare minimum of human physiology.

They stuck together from then on, determined to find out everything they could about the humans.

The first time Eve sneezed after smelling the flowers, Aziraphale jumped up so quickly that he broke the rock he was using as a seat clean in half

Crawley and Aziraphale stood perfectly still on the wall, waiting for something else to happen.

All Eve did was sniff a bit and walk away.

Aziraphale turned to Crowley, eyes wide and full of terror. They both stared at each other for a few minutes before they both silently sat down, contemplating what they had assumed was a very near-miss explosion.

The next day, when Adam stepped into the pool of water at the edge of the Garden, the angel and demon watched with the utmost attention.

"D'ya think they can breathe in there?"

"In the water?"

"Yeah, those slimy things at the bottom seem to be doin' just fine without coming up top. Maybe the humans can do that too."

"Crawley, those are fish. The humans need the air to live. I think."

"Fiiiiiish? Fsh. Fiisssshhh. Nah, don't like that. Slimy things works better, who names these things? Was it you?"

"I'm afraid that was not my department, unfortunately. I like to think I would have gone with a different choice than 'fish', if I had any say in the names."

"Mm. He's been down there for a bit, yeah?"

"Who? Oh, him. Has he? Oh. Oh Lord, he has. Adam? Adam?"

One small miracle later, the humans and the non-humans had both learned that they did need the air to live.

The day Eve and Adam laughed together was a good day.

'What're they even laughin' at?" Crowley wiggles/walks* his way over to where Aziraphale is sat on the edge of the wall, watching the humans.

*He's still figuring out the whole leg thing, far too complicated if you ask him

"If I had to guess, I'd say they're laughing at the state of Adam."

"How'd he even get like that? Last I saw, he was running around near that pond, how's that happen? They were on your watch, Angel."

"Ah, while you went to look at the plants, he fell. Apparently when dirt and water mix, it becomes very sticky. Mud, I believe it's called."

"Blegh. Way to go Angel, I left for five minutes and you let him get all mud-ed. Looks awful, don't see why they're laughin'. They've always got somethin' stuck to em."

Despite his words, Crowley couldn't help but smile at the humans. Something so ridiculous and they stood there laughing at it, having all the time in the world to explore and find out new things.

Aziraphale noticed this, and smiled as well. Mostly because of the humans and how fond he was already of them

But also, at Crowley and a new type fondness for him, as well.

(Though it would take many, many years for him to admit that)

Crowley and Aziraphale sat and laughed, watching these new humans bumble around and laugh, being happy to just exist and discover everything there was to discover. If Crowley snuck glances at the angel while he was laughing, he'd never admit it.

Maybe tomorrow, Crowley thought, he'd see what the deal was with that big apple tree.

[nathaniel-underwood-is-an-intj]

Looong rant about chapter 16 Ptolemy's Gate and how being passive can add to the cycle of ab*se.

oof so I just read when Nat goes to see Ms Lutyens and I can't help but be absolutely furious at her??

I know that's maybe a little bit unfair given she's frightened of him as a magician and is obviously angry when she finds out the department he's responsible for, but honestly it kinda brings up the problem with inadvertent bystanders to child ab*se in my mind.

And I'm definitely not blaming her solely for who Nat becomes but it makes me think of all those people in huge child ab*se cases who give interviews to press about all the things they noticed that were wrong but they just...never do anything?

She stood up for him against Lovelace, and when Nat thanked her- "I wanted to say that I know you were trying to save me, and-"

''Yes, and I'm sorry I didn't" Like girl be for real did you really think that alone would undo the years of indoctrination and abuse he's already suffered and prevent years worth of the same in the years to come? And she won't take responsibility - "My job is with children, not the adults they become" and again while it seems harsh to blame her for who Nat becomes, it's so much easier to pass the blame to people who are more directly responsible rather than acknowledging you also play a part.

I think it hurts so much more because it's her specifically- Nat goes to her in sheer desperation, it almost seems like a goodbye- he wants to thank her, tries to set her up in a job that will pay well and struggles to communicate he's trying to help. At this point he thinks Bartimaeus has been summoned by another magician and his birth name will be revealed. He's sure he's about to die and if not he'll be stood on trial and lose everything.

He goes to her because she represents the peaceful moments from his childhood when he got away from his master. He's scared and feeling lost and really it's call for help; but he doesn't ask for anything he just wants to make her feel proud of him- he's looking for that validation that he's been chasing since childhood.

And that shows he still does have that little bit of childhood innocence in him; he thinks she will be proud, thinks she'll see him as the same little boy in the garden gazing up at his teacher in adoration. He can't quite grasp why she's separated the man stood before her from that little boy. Because in that moment the child inside Nathaniel is seeking comfort AND THAT'S WHY it makes me so angry. She's completely given up on him when he's at his lowest ebb, because she doesn't want to be associated with the magician he's become. As if it isn't a massive step in the right direction that he saught her out in the first place- what other magican would bother? I wonder if that's why she reacted so strongly to seeing him again? Before that moment she could go about her life wondering if /pretending her attempt to protect him was enough, and now she realises it wasn't, of course it wasn't, and the image she had of Nathaniel's childhood innocence is completely ruined in her mind.

Or was her contempt for him even grater than Nat realised? She was naturally disgusted by the rhetoric he'd started to repeat from a young age, and gently tried to correct him although she was clearly angry- was she just resigned to the fact that there is little else she could do to change his future? I always thought- couldn't she have looked for him? The Underwood house fire was in the papers and they mentioned the apprentice was being searched for. Did she ever worry about him? Surely something must have been in the papers since- an announcement of new ministers, ANYTHING! Look at how much research Kitty did to find out about Bartimaeus and Ptolemy. I just don't think Rosanna Lutyens cared enough, realistically Nathaniel wasn't hard to find- but he was no longer her responsibility so she could turn a blind eye.

And sadly it's not just her- I know everyone loves Martha Underwood including Nat; but I think her submissiveness to her husband has a negative effect on Nathaniel as well. In AOS when Nat is locked in his room for ages after setting the mites loose, and is forbidden to have any contact with anyone and she won't talk with him. I know she's been told by Mr. Underwood she can't, but it still boils my blood. She's an adult and going along with ignoring Nathaniel because her husband told her to...I can't even begin to imagine the psychological damage that would do to a 10 year old child. (It could be argued she's frightened of the consequences if her husband finds out she's disobeyed him which is fair, he could always be watching through magic- but this is Arthur Underwood we're talking about. He's lazy, oblivious and weak I doubt he'd expend all that energy each day to check up on her.)

And It's even more painful that Nathaniel is often described as fiercely loyal to her and I think to Ms Lutyens as well- he doesn't expect to be treated well by Arthur Underwood but he loved Mrs Underwood and Ms Lutyens so much he started to view them through a rose-coloured lense. He never feels betrayed by either of them, even though they absolutely let him down, because the pedestal he's put them on is too high AND THAT ABSOLUTELY DESTROYS ME.

Would things with Nathaniel have been any different if Mrs Underwood hadn't died? I don't really think so. Do you think she'd see Nathaniel's temper at 14 years old and be reminded of Arthur Underwood? He was awful, absolutely awful to Nat and to her; but he was under so much stress in an underfunded departement, where pressure was being put on him by superiors to accomplish far more than they knew him to be capable of, and he took it out on the easiest target. Nathaniel ends up in exactly the same place and he starts to take it out on the only person around him- Bartimaeus. Would he snap at Mrs Underwood all the time if she were still there? Because he's learnt that behaviour from his father figure, and subconsciously learnt from his mother figure that she'll put up with it. He learnt from the woman he loved so deeply, that if you don't resist, people will walk all over you. So you have to maintain control even if it ends up hurting people you care about because no one will step in to stop the suffering no matter how much you love them, no matter how much you want them too.

It's easy to blame Arthur Underwood and Simon Lovelace and the magicians that actively hurt Nathaniel but I just feel like it's a bit disingenuous not to acknowledge the role of those doing passive harm. It's really mean to say it but even Bartimaeus plays a role- he knows Nat is clinging on to him because he can't 'bring himself to break this last connection' (to his childhood) but instead of bringing it up properly he 'taunts' Nathaniel- a boy who has been taunted for his weakness by his master for years. And even in AOS when Nathaniel tells Bartimaeus he was beaten for the mites incident Bart just kinda shrugs it off. Like I get it, why should Bartimaeus do anything, he's suffered way worse due to the system so he doesn't owe Nat anything right? But from Nat's point of view this is the first and only time he's mentioned to anyone what has happened to him and nothing changes. It's like another lesson learnt: telling someone about it doesn't help. Another nail in the coffin.

And I like all these characters, I feel bad for them. They're all victims of the system, I think the chapter with Ms Lutyens is just the straw that broke the camel's back for me. All of those little opportunities that are insignificant to the narrative over all; the commoners have it worse, Nathaniel is in a privileged position in society, exerting control over others. He's very morally grey, crossing over into objectively bad person territory but I love him with my whole heart and all of those insignificant moments would have been massive to him whether he was conscious of it or not.

And it goes all the way back to the beginning with Nat's parents giving him up to the magicians at 5 years old. I can't get the image of that little boy sat crying all alone in the government building. And he's not going somewhere safer, or somewhere he'll be happier and more loved. Giving your child over to a total stranger, oh he'll be totally fine won't he? He'll grow up to be a magician and far richer than you'll ever be, he'll be happy and comfortable and be grateful he got to grow up in luxury. There's no way a stranger you've never met, who the majority of society is terrified of would ever hurt a vulnerable little kid right? And if they do? Well you aren't responsible anymore, how could you know? What could you possibly do against the magician taking care of him?

Every little thing is another grain of sand tipping the scale. Did anyone else have to analyse An Inspector Calls in school? It feels like that to me- those BIG moments and all the little moments in between that add onto the pile.

And it goes on to cause problems in wider society too- ab*se is so normalised to the magicians, they casually ask Underwood if he hits Nathaniel like it's nothing. Because to them it is nothing, they've all grown up in the same circumstances and are repeating what they've learnt as children. I can't help but feel a little sorry for them all, especially when they aren't looked at through the black and white lense of 'argh these people are the evil arseholes look at how they treat everyone around them, screw these guys.' When we see those little glimpses of humanity like Simon's anxiety with the amulet; looking to his master and father figure Schyler for reassurance, and what's sad is that Nat is "reminded...of his own master's cold impatience" It's clear Simon looks up to his master, wants to make him proud and loves him. But it seems like Schyler has just trained Simon up so he can get power through him later on. I love the little hints of similarities between Simon and Nathaniel; the anxious mannerisms like fiddling with his hair that Nathaniel starts to develop, the way their master's talk to them. Even though they're actively working against each other in AOS and Simon is placed firmly in the baddies category and Nat in the goodies category at this point in the series; these things always hinted to me they had similar childhoods, how was Simon treated? When he had the imp beat Nat into unconsciousness, was it because he'd had the same punishment used against him? Did he know the magicians in the room would do nothing to stop him because no one stopped it from happening to him? Did he ever have a teacher stand up for him only for it to change nothing in the end because all the negative influences were so much stronger? Is the reason he loves Schyler like a dad because he's almost developed Stockholm syndrome? It looks like love because he's never known anything else.

And Arthur Underwood- who doesn't think his upbringing, and being taken away from his family ever did him any harm- doesn't realise the harm done is that he doesn't even know another way of raising Nathaniel, because he was never shown another way. His childhood may also have been filled with people who hurt him and the people that didn't do enough to intervene.

There are so many psychology studies that show children copy everything they see the adults in their life doing. Nathaniel copies the magicians behaviour towards spirits and on a subconscious level I think he copies all the submissive people in his life. How many times does he end up upset and frustrated with the fact he seems to be going nowhere and how many times does he just hope things will be different rather than taking postive action.

I dislike the actions the magicians end up taking but I also find them fascinating to analyse. I tend to prefer villains in media because they're usually slightly more complex individuals and I love to think about how they ended up that way. They can all be seen as victims of their circumstances in a way, despite all the power and privilege they have had terrible and traumatic childhoods, and if the commoners had no valuable worldy possessions at least they had a sense of togetherness; of love and understanding and selflessness. I wonder if the magicians hated them at least partly because of that. Because out in the sea of faces of the commoners talking about nothing important, doing nothing great and noble- could be the parents that abandoned them. And when your life is on the line daily because of working with spirits, and your colleagues want to stab you in the back, sometimes not being responsible for anything important looks good. But you can't leave your life as a magician, it would be too difficult; you have nowhere to go, no real friends, no one who really loves you. So it's better to stay and be a submissive bystander in your own life because it's so much easier.

Doing nothing is doing something- being passive can be just as harmful.

[fandomworld9728]

Applebowl Scenarios! - Meeting Angel Lucifer:

(This was requested over on AO3. Enjoy 😊)

Adam:

"What the fuck happened?!"

Standing in front of Adam was something the first man hadn't seen in many, many, many years. Lucifer as a blinding and beautiful angel. And he was staring at him with those baby blues just like before. Before their lives went to complete and utter shit. 

A long, tense silence passed as everyone waited to see what the now angelic being would do. Shit. Would he even recognize Adam in his Sinner form? Or was this before they even met? Or maybe after him and Lilith got together? What was Adam supposed to do then?

A big, dazzling smile broke out onto Lucifer's face as he launched himself at the now Sinner. "Adam! Adam you're here! I'm so happy to see a familiar face! But wait... what in the Heaven's happened to you?"

Arms full of his best friend, Adam tried his best to explain without giving too much away. He didn't want to accidently change anything in the past. "Oh. Well... just some stuff happened and now I'm a... ram..."

A small giggle escaped Lucifer as he played with the first man's fur. "Really? I thought for sure if you would be any sort of animal, it would have been a lion. How come you aren't in Eden?" 

Oh boy. Of course he'd ask that. Trying to look for help over at the losers who ran this stupid hotel was a no go. They were still trying to calm down the little demon princess. At least that edge lord wasn't here to make everything worse. Think Adam, think.

"...Did humanity finally make it past the garden and venture off on their own?!"

"Adam don't answer that! As much as I hate to say this... we might need to drag Alastor back here to help us."

"What?!" No. Nope. No way. Adam just got his pure little angel back and he wasn't gonna let that creepy bastard take him away. Let alone near him. "Maybe I could just run away with you."

"Don't even think about it!"

Vox:

Vox couldn't believe he was being sent to the meeting this time. Velvette does just fine representing all three of them, so why was he suddenly going in her place? However, he'd have to thank her later for the series of events that it led to.

"Look out!"

Turning to see where the yelling was coming from, Vox didn't expect someone to come barreling into him, knocking him flat on his back. "What in the fuck?!"

"I am so sorry! I tried to stop, but I'm not used to flying around here."

Vox's angry rant died on his tongue as he looked at the person that had crashed into him. Sitting up in his lap was an angel. A literal angel. What was an angel doing here in Hell? Wait... that wasn't just any angel. That was-

"Lucifer?"

"Yes? That is me. Wow. So many humans know me. I'm surprised. I'm just the simple light bringer."

Simple light bringer? Was he fucking with him? He knew from the broadcast of the fight against the Exorcists that Lucifer could shape shift. Was this a test? If it was, what kind of test could it be? Though... he seemed completely clueless. Is this what the king was like before he became the King of Hell?

It was honestly kind of adorable. And if Vox thought Lucifer was attractive before... his angelic side was absolutely stunning. He really was the most beautiful creature in all of creation. Maybe he could keep him. He'd have to keep him away from Val, but he'd let Velvette dress him up. However, first he'd show him off to the other Overlords.

"Well, my beautiful angel, how about you accompany me on my outing? I can show you around this strange place."

"Really? Oh... but I'm supposed to see someone. I can't remember who..."

"When you remember, I would be more than happy to take you to them."

He would just have to keep Lucifer distracted enough to not remember.

Alastor:

This was a rather interesting development. After fighting that idiotic television, he found himself with an angel attached to him. Well, that made it easier to keep track of him.

That's how they had returned to the hotel. Alastor with Lucifer affectionately hugging his arm. And that's how they stayed the while time Charlie had explained what the cause of this was.

While this would make messing with the king easier, Alastor was starting to reach his limit on physical contact. Luckily for him, the little Arcangel was very understanding about boundaries.

However... Lucifer would follow. Him. Everywhere! No matter where he went and what he did, the little angel would not. Leave. Him. Alone!

At this point if it was more annoying or adorable. Though, the fact that he found it adorable at all was not improving his mood. How long was Lucifer stuck like this again?

He never thought he'd say this... but Alastor was starting to miss the King of Hell.

[lovemyromance]

Im curious about your take on how azriel is “overprotective”

I honestly don't understand how we got to this point where a male love interest being protective is a bad thing. Overprotective, sure. But I don't think any of the bat boys are overprotective.

There are really two parts to to understanding this argument:

Azriel's protectiveness

Elain's personality/character itself

Let's begin:

Azriel's protectiveness

Homeboy is protective, no one can deny this. But he is protective of them all. He attacked Eris to defend Mor's honor, he is Mr. "Careful how you speak of my High Lady", he handles even Nesta with the utmost care and respect. If there is danger, I'd sooner believe he'd throw himself into it rather than it get close to any of his pretty friends' heads.

But there is a difference between him, and let's say, Tamlin for example. Tamlin literally locks up Feyre in her room, doesn't let her train her own powers, keeps her far away from courtly affairs.

And I know what you are going to say - "Oh, but Azriel stopped Elain from scrying for the troves" - um yeah, no shit.

The Cauldron literally kidnapped Elain? You think he's going to let that dangerous thing in her presence again? He snarls at Eris everytime he shows his face, you think he's going to let that evil crockpot anywhere near her?

It's not like he said "Elain can't train." or "Elain should be locked up in a tower". All he said was, "Elain should not be exposed to that darkness". Which - brings me to my second point.

2. Elain's entire character

Elain is not a warrior. She does not want to be violent. She has no desire to train like her sisters, but she does want to be helpful. There are ways to be helpful without physically going into the Bog or Prison or fighting on the frontlines of battle.

But again, she is untrained. Even if she does want to be helpful, nobody is willing to send her into a situation that might turn violent without any training. They are not willing to risk losing her, because of what happened last time.

The IC is even more protective of Elain as a whole because of who she is. It is not a stretch that Azriel, someone who cares dearly for her, is also protective of her.

And again, let's not forget that all of the bat boys are protective over their women. If we keep reading past when Azriel says, "Elain should not be exposed to the darkness of the troves", you will see Cassian protest and ask "and Nesta should?"

Even Cassian is reluctant to let Nesta be exposed to that darkness. The difference is in Nesta & Elain's core personalities, more so than the protectiveness of Azriel and Cassian. Elain will pick up a dagger as the last resort only to defend someone else/herself, but Nesta? Nesta will charge at you with her sword, probably even if you look at her wrong.

That's the difference. It's not a question about protectiveness, it's about currently, what is Elain capable of.

Azriel is protective of Elain, as he should be. In case you forgot, he was the one who saved her from Hybern's camp. His wings were shredded, he was swaying on his feet, he was warned he would die, but he still went after her. Of course he would be afraid to let that Cauldron anywhere near Elain after that.

And by the way, that is the only instance the anti-s are using to call him "overprotective" and "he stifles her, doesn't let her do anything".

Azriel may not be shoving her off a cliff to fly (sorry Feyre lol), but he is still giving Elain the tools she needs to grow. Azriel is the one who figures out she is a Seer, freeing her from her murky realm and depression. Azriel saw her, understood her, when everyone else including her own sisters and mate saw her as crazy. Azriel gives her his own dagger (the one he NEVER let anyone else touch), to defend herself. Azriel sits with her in the garden, allows her to feel peace and calm.

I think SJMs past male love interests have created a kind of blueprint in the mind of antis, so much so that they are unable to comprehend a different kind of relationship, a different kind of love. Just because Rhys sends Feyre into the Weaver cottage with a "good luck lol" and Rowan punched Aelin in the face, doesn't mean all her MMC have to have the same brutish approach. Have they ever considered that love can be shown in different ways?

Even in HOFAS, Hunt cautions Bryce and voices several times how they should just give up in their plans against the Asteri. Is he being overprotective? Is he stifling Bryce? No. He is simply trying to keep the person he cares about alive and safe. Because he loves her.

Love can be spending time with the one you care for, in small quiet moments in the background, in the garden. Love can be soft embraces under the cover of the darkness, where only the Mother may witness them.

Like, I thought it was obvious.

[pasta-in-the-pudding]

Hello! I love your work a lot and was wondering if you could do the creeps with a child reader that’s an angel? 😊

(Like, they have wings and such)

Omg this fits with my current divider rn so well. Also i love getting to write for such cool creatures <3

Credits to divider go to saradika-graphics! Go follow them and support their work

Thank you so much for requesting!!

Ticci Toby

The manor houses a lot of random creatures of all sorts

But Toby never gets tired of seeing someone new come around

Especially someone that's an angel

Angels are already rare, and especially so in the underworld

That's probably why you are in the manor in the first place tbh

Slender just couldn't resist getting his hands on an angel

Anyways, I think he'd like to hear about where you came from!

He loves to hear stories of your home

He will listen to the wonderful tales whilst removing loose feathers from your wings

Or alternatively, he will listen to you sing in the garden while brushing your hair

And he loves to hear you sing

Being an angel, your singing is rather, well, angelic

Because of this, your singing usually draws in anyone close enough to you into your general area just to hear you sing

So Slender asks that you sing outside to avoid people forgetting to do their tasks

Toby is fine with this, as he just follows you around

Jeff The Killer

Honestly you kind of annoy him at first

Like everyone is fawning all over you because you're an angel, but he doesn't get the hype tbh

He sees you as a Mary Sue for a while

But then when he actually gets the opportunity to talk to you, he gets it

Like you were so nice and genuine to him???

Even though he's been nothing but mean to you???

He still doesn't really like you as a person, but seeing that you can still be nice to people just because you like being nice gives him hope for future generations if that makes sense

Like maybe the world is finally healing and becoming a happy place

He gets really curious about your halo

Like he wants to hold it

The first time he touches it, he is surprised to see it feels like metal

If it wasn't attached to your literal brain he'd be chasing people around with it threatening to cut them with it 💀

Also it'd probably burn his hands to touch it since it's like, radiating with holy light and all that good stuff

Ben Drowned

Even with as out of touch Ben is, he (like everyone else) was drawn to you

He's always wanted to have wings as a kid, so seeing yours was really cool to him

He loves to watch you fly with them, and he loves to help you keep up with them

He will help you wash them when they get dirty, he will help preen your feathers, etc

And mind you, he's not a huge "studies" guy, but he would totally study the anatomy of angel wings

Like....humanoid....with bird wings???? How????

Other than that, you're just like any other kid to him

He'll bid you a hello in the hallways, and if he's tasked with helping you with something he will

But other than that, he doesn't really go out of his way to interact with you

Toby is probably the one on this list that cares about you the most tbh

But Toby loves all the kids, he's a pushover for them lol

[batbitesthebat]

Hey bat!!!! :D it's been a whileeee.. So- here's my question!

Do you have any head canons for your octonauts- characters? (Regular au) if so. Can I know em? :0

Sorry this took me so long!! I'm a very busy Bat!!

I decided to share some headcanons for all of my octonauts for my normal BatBites AU.

Captain Barnacles:

He goes to sleep curfew on the DOT and wakes up at 7:00 am each morning, and will wake up the other Octonauts as well

He feels like the father of the crew, whether he likes to or not

He doesn't open up to anybody about his struggles or insecurities- ever! He's bad at that sort of thing...

During the summer he'll take extremely long cold baths that he'll literally dump ice in, and he sheds like crazy, he does NOT like the summer.

His suit has a cooler. Tweak built it for him!!

He is totally unaware of any feelings his CREwMAtes might have for him....

Lt Kwazii Cat:

He bat's other peoples tails instinctively...

He can bareeely taste sweet, so he'll usually add a shit ton of sugar to his desserts

Struggles with impulse control and social awareness, struggles to understand what can be talked about on the dinner table and what can't be

Quite ashamed honestly about his cat-like behavior, so he'll try to keep it to himself. He doesn't like to meow or purr around anyone but Shellington, but because he lacks impulse control, he'll end up doing it anyway. Dashi loves the meowing.

He's incredibly affectionate

His first thought when a sea creature gives them trouble is I'LL SHOW THEM WHO'S BOSS!!!

Medic Peso Penguin:

His urge to pick up rocks everytime he sees a pile of them goes strong, and he usually ends up doing just that

This is more of a redesign than a headcanon, but he has a full set of teeth in the og books and I thought that would be a good excuse to give him fangs in my AU just for added cuteness

He's a chronic apologizer

He gets picked on by the crew occasionally, he hates it

He looks up to Barnacles and Kwazii so much- he IS the youngest and the last one to join, after all.

He does really like taking care of his friends.

He's a bit of a crybaby. His sense of empathy is really big and strong, and he'll feel himself tear up if he sees something- or someone- suffering.

IT Officer Dashi Dog:

Because she's the IT officer, programmer & photographer, she's super busy all the time

And speaking of time, she always loses track of it..

If Kwazii and Barnacles were to be unavailable she would be in charge.

She likes to keep incredibly clean even if the DEMONS tell her to jump in the MUDD and have FUNN

She loves everything cute and collects chibi cat squishies. This is like, one of my first head canons ever.

She's in charge of the wifi, whenever it shuts down and the crew begins to bug her about it, she gets super fckin annoyed

She barks, because of course she barks, and her tail wags whenever she sees something she likes or is giving/receiving affection

Her tail ALSO wags when she's talking to Captain Barnacles, I wonder why THAT is!!!

Engineer Tweak Rabbit:

Gets 1 second of sleep every night

Taught the rest of the crew how to play her video games

She glows in the dark because she's literally radioactive, same with her dad

When she needs a break she goes to the garden to chill, and eat a few carrots on the way

Will wake up in a cold sweat to randomly build something in the middle of the night

She does not give a shit about how messy she gets

Dr. Shellington Sea Otter:

Spends so much of his alone time just grooming himself

Goes searching through the fridge for ice cubes during the summer. Loves his ice cubes

Was the most geekiest geek in high school, he had like 3 friends

He plays visual novels

He's really defensive, embarrassed, and shy about what he likes.

His sleep schedule is fcked up, he talks in his sleep as well. He'd much rather be spending his time researching so as he sleeps he'll usually dream about his research.

He cannOT take a compliment. Compliment him and he will curl up into a little ball out of shame.

Professor Inkling Octopus:

He'll put on classical music in the library and vibe to it with whoever's with him

He hosts story nights occasionally

He's really good at giving romantic advice

He refuses to drink coffee

He needs to be constantly MOIST

his chair is super high tech and comes with a heater and cooler

May or may not be the group therapist

He's INKredibly humble

Tunip Vegimal:

Like 4 years old

Gets excited over literally anything

Gets the cutest puppy dog eyes when he wants something

Defaults to running around with the other vegimals when there's nothing to do

His fave thing in the world is watching the crews face light up when they eat his food

Vegimal food just hits different

Tunip sees Shellington as his dad, and sees Tweak as his mama. Kwazii's the gay aunt

*flies away*

[charlottesbookclub]

which plants each of the greens would get from the plant shop where i work 🪴🌱🌿🍃

y'all i am so sorry for my sporadic activity on this blog and also for the chaotic jumble of fandoms i keep posting about with no warning 😭

so i was kinda into hotd last season, and with the new trailers coming out i was thinking about it again and this idea came to me like a revelation from on high so i decided to curse you all with these headcanons as well

for context, i work at a houseplant shop and was watering my own plants today when i was seized by the vision of which plant(s) each of the greens would get from the shop

i guess this is kind of modern au but not really?? like i guess i sort of envisioned it as the characters walking out of the world/canon of the show and into the plant store and so that's the characterization i went with idk

anyway sorry this is so chaotic – here are the headcanons:

alicent – def something pretty basic but classic like a pothos or a philodendron. a marble queen pothos would be especially appropriate, so honestly that's what i would probably recommend if she asked. is able to keep it alive just fine but i'm just not sure i would recommend anything too much more demanding – i just feel like losing a plant would be too demoralizing for her. also i feel like she would be one of those people who would come in and be like "i need a plant that filters air bc i need clean air in my living space" and i'd have to put on my best customer service voice/smile and be like "well actually ma'am that's all of them – that's kind of like one of their main things" lmaoooo

criston – i truly do not believe that this man could keep a plant alive; i'm just not convinced of it. i think he'd get a funky spiky little succulent or cactus and it would be dead within a week and he'd come back in and i'd recommend a snake plant (very hard to kill) and then he'd kill that too 💀 but also i think he'd be sooooooooo in denial about it and always come up with a bunch of other things that must've happened to it

aegon – also cannot keep a plant alive but is painfully self-aware about this fact. would def be one of those people who comes in, walks right up to the counter and instantly says "i need a plant i can't kill." so i'd point him to the snakes and zz's and he'd get either a nice black coral or golden hahnii snake plant. the funniest thing about this is that i'm convinced that aegon's snake plant would actually survive and criston would be sooooo pissed about it. like he wouldn't water it for weeks, and then when he finally remembered to, he accidentally (drunkenly) watered it with wine and it still lived and criston was fucking livid about it

aemond – would for sure have more success keeping plants alive than aegon or criston. i feel like he'd try to start with something cool but tricky, like a complicated carnivorous plant, and after excruciating months of going back and forth with it, it kinda just gives up because he tries to do everything precisely by the book rather than reading the signs of the actual living plant in front of him. he admits defeat only personally – he tells everyone else that he gave to plant to helaena. he comes back for something a little easier and goes for a nice dracaena marginata (yes, he did buy it mostly because the name sounds like "dragon" and also because it was spiky and cool). he's definitely able to keep that one alive and it lives in the corner of his chambers and he's secretly very proud of his success with it. also he does not even let criston or aegon so much as look at it lmao

helaena – my girl could buy anything in the whole store and keep it alive 😌😌 she for sure likes the "weirder" plants and has a whole bog garden situation of carnivorous plants aemond is insanely jealous of this but never admits it out loud. she's very drawn to strange-looking cacti and succulents, and also fun little novelty plants like goldfish plants, string of turtles/bananas/hearts/pearls, starfish snake plants, etc. also, whenever she comes in she always buys all of the scraggly discount plants because she feels bad for them and nurses them all back to health. she has not lost a single plant yet regardless of the state it was in when she got it, and she doesn't intend to start any time soon 😌

[lefaystrent]

One Man's Boon is Another Man's Bummer

Fandom: Sanders Sides

Pairings: none despite God's best efforts

Summary: "So because I lived a boring ass life and never had a long time boyfriend or got married or whatever sentimental crap, I'm being subjected to...romance? In an alternate universe? After dying?"

"Yeah, that pretty much sums it up."

In other words, Virgil gets isikaed.

-------------------------------------------------------

The weirdest part of Virgil's day is not waking up in a fantasy universe where he's apparently the son of a very prominent lord.

The weirdest part is not even the fact that he remembers vividly dying in the most horrifically embarrassing way before waking up in said universe. He slipped in the shower and banged his head. Naked. People were going to find his dead body and it was naked. He thinks he could die a second time just picturing it.

The weirdest part is also not that the sky is green here and the grass is blue. Or that dragons grow no bigger than miniature ponies and aristocrats keep them as symbolic pets to stroke their elitist egos. Or that normal fucking water tastes like peppermint. Virgil hates peppermint.

No, the weirdest thing?

That would be the tiny fairy named Thomas who flies around him, unable to be seen by everyone else, and proudly declared himself as Virgil's guide to finding true love.

Virgil sits on a California sized king bed propped up by a dozen pillows. He wears pajamas made from like, fancy imported spider silk material. Except Virgil asked why the hell someone had dressed him in silk pajamas while he'd been sleeping and a maid looked at him and asked, "What's silk, sir?"

They call it tissle. Virgil isn't sure why, but just the sound of the word pisses him off. He's wearing tissle pajamas, how silly of him.

Of course, the anger came way after the panic. The kind of screeching panic that catapulted him from the ridiculous bed and had him screaming in fright at all of the servants that dared to approach him. And there were quite a few servants too. And they called him "young lord" and tried to calm him down and explained that he had not been kidnapped by rich people but lived here. This was his home. He had fainted in the garden, didn't he remember?

No the fuck he doesn't remember.

"It's to be expected," Thomas the fairy tells him sympathetically. He flits about, trailing glitter out of his butt or whatever. He's got butterfly wings and wears a sparkly tunic getup, and Virgil has tried numerous times to clap his hands at him like he's an annoying mosquito but he keeps getting away.

"What, my life becoming an isikae anime?" Virgil asks petulantly. He's allowed to be a little petulant, given the situation.

Thomas giggles, "No, of course not! That part's a once in a chance lifetime! You're very lucky."

"Look into my eyes and say that again."

"Er, what I meant was that a little memory loss is to be expected from the experience."

"I died. I woke up in a stupid fantasy universe. I've been kidnapped by rich people. What am I not remembering here?"

"Other than all the memories from this alternate reality? Nothing much, you pretty much got it!"

If looks alone could sear the flesh from bones...

Thomas waves his hands and wisely flutters back a foot. "Hey, don't give me that look. I'm just your guide. I didn't select you for soul reassignment."

Virgil honestly growls, "Then who's the bastard responsible for this so I can shove my foot up their ass?"

"Are you always this violent?"

No, not really. Virgil lived a pretty boring, mediocre life before he died. Most days, he'd rather fall down an open manhole than subject himself to confrontation.

He doesn't exactly feel like himself at the moment. The only saving grace is that his body is unchanged. He's got the same terrible pale skin, lanky limbs, and dark bangs that hang in his eyes. Had he woken up as a completely different person... That would have thrust him into madness.

"So what did I do to be so lucky?" Virgil asks, deadpanned.

They're alone in this massive bedroom that could fit his old apartment. It took awhile, but he'd managed to push the servants out the door and barricade it. Now he can talk freely with the buzzing insect and not be seen as crazy. Crazier. Crazier than before, at least

Thomas twirls in the air, and there are tiny golden bells tied around his ankles that chime with the movement. He's brimming with cheer as he explains, "Very few souls receive the honor of soul reassignment. This occurs at the time of passing, when the body can no longer contain the soul. Normally, the person would pass on into the afterlife, but the powers that be decided to give you a second chance!"

"So I need to kick God's ass is what you're saying."

"The powers that be, and no. There will be no kicking of deity booties. This is meant to be a precious boon for those who experienced purpose unfulfilled."

"So because I lived a boring ass life and never had a long time boyfriend or got married or whatever sentimental crap, I'm being subjected to...romance? In an alternate universe? After dying?"

"Yeah, that pretty much sums it up."

Virgil lays down on the bed and cover his head with the blankets. "I'm going to sleep and never waking up."

"Wha– but Virgil! I haven't even told you about your five prospective love interests! They were specifically chosen for you!"

Virgil can hear and feel the fairy thrumming above him. Itty bitty hands tug at his hair to no effect.

"Young lord?" a voice calls beyond the barricadded door. "We sent for a physician and your parents are on their way as well. We're worried for you. Please let us help."

"Fat chance," Virgil seethes and stays in bed out of spite.

-------------------------------------------------------

A/N: Yes the five love interests are the other sides. No I have no current plans to continue this AU. I just wanted to make Virgil suffer. But I can tell you that the story would revolve around Virgil meeting all of the sides, finding himself in cliche romantic situations, and vehemently refusing to fall in love with any of them. The powers that be watch on from above very tiredly. Thomas tries his best to be a literal wingman. Virgil's more interested in finding new things to despise about the fantasy world he now lives in.

[minluce]

Weak Hero - Superpower/Magic AU

I wanted to imagine some of the Weak Hero characters with superpowers/magic! My first instinct was actually more like "super strength for Ben, etc" but then I thought to myself, "ok but Ben already has super strength, more or less". So I deliberately picked broader, more fantasy-esque powers, rather than something specific that's based off of what the character can already do. I just think it's really interesting to imagine if these characters had magical abilities in addition to—that complement—their existing fighting styles.

Gray Yeon - Illusion Creation

(insp. Tanizaki Jun'ichirou from Bungou Stray Dogs)

Gray would be an absolute beast with an illusion ability. I think it would play off of his unassuming appearance as well— illusionists are often underestimated in a fight, because they rely on trickery to win. Both the ability to conceal his location, and mentally intimidate his opponent would be at Gray's disposal. He can hide in plain sight, create clones of himself, and conjure terrifying imagery.

Ben Park - Earth Manipulation

(insp. Earthbenders from Avatar)

Ben is already associated with a lot of earthy motifs in the series, I think it would make sense for him to have the ability to pelt people with actual boulders, not just his fists that feel like boulders :). Moreover, he'd be able to defend his own body using rock walls, or upset his opponent(s) footing by shaking the ground beneath their feet. Also, it fits his personality too, he's straightforward/blunt, headstrong, maybe a little dumb as a rock, and he is also someone that other people relies on.

Gerard Jin - Plant Manipulation

(insp. Warrod Sequen from Fairy Tail)

This one is a bit obvious, maybe, but I do think it would be really cool. I think Gerard would be able to grow vines/branches to restrict his opponent's movement, as well as boost his own mobility. Also Gerard strikes me as a bit of a green thumb as well. I think this power would also suit him in the aspect that it's less combat-oriented/aggressive compared to the others. Gerard spends more of his time on his hobbies, than he does getting into fistfights, and the plant theme reflects that, Gerard with a lil' flower garden.

Jake Ji - Electricity Manipulation

(insp. Killua Zoldyck from Hunter x Hunter)

I honestly made this post just so I could share my "Jake with lightning magic" agenda. Particularly, with the added benefit of giving himself superspeed + reflexes, and just generally throwing thunderbolts around? I just think Jake would look really cool with this power, and it would complement his fighting style really well. It's fast and efficient, and maybe a little bit on the flashy side as well, which suits Jake as a person too.

Wolf Keum - Fire Manipulation

(insp. Suoh Mikoto from K-Project)

Initially, I had brainstormed Wolf as an unconventional healer, who uses his magic to heal his own injuries. Then, I thought that's pretty uninteresting, because he already kinda fights as if his injuries don't exist, and I wanted to pick something cool. Pyrokinesis is kinda self explanatory, and there's not much you can do with it in terms of using it creatively (as opposed to say, earth magic for defense, or lightning magic for superspeed). It's literally point, shoot, destroy— which is perfect for Wolf. Also it suits his personality: he's got a short, volatile temper, and a violent streak. Also I really wanted to make that Suoh Mikoto comparison.

Donald Na - Shadow Manipulation

(insp. Pride/Selim from Fullmetal Alchemist)

Donald being able to use darkness as a weapon is absolutely terrifying. I imagine him with tendrils of shadow that just creep out of nowhere and can choke the target, or stab/slice the target, or just be used to restrict an opponent's movement. Darkness manipulation is a super versatile power and I think Donald could make the most out of it. It also works perfectly with Donald being weak to bright light.

[zoroara]

OCtober Challenge Day 17 - Greedy

Tyr never liked being dragged out to talk to Timoteo, yes it was part of his job but he'd very much rather stay home. Admittedly though, despite their usual back and forth it was less that he didn't like talking to the man and rather he just didn't want to leave the Varia HQ if it wasn't a mission.

As he reported details to the older man in the garden, someone passes by, despite the room outdoors, made sure to try to bump him as they do. Of course he moved slightly to avoid, only to lower himself slightly as he looks behind him, darkening his visage as he pulls a smile.

"Did ya need somethin' from me?" The only response from Xanxus, the brat that Timoteo took in be a slightly annoyed face. Tyr could tell the kid was testing his limits here. To most people he always seemed like Timoteo's dog, listening to the man's orders despite clear contempt at time. But that's how he likes them to see him, because it means when they make mistakes, they never suspect him to be able to act.

He always can use Timoteo's words as a shield and Timoteo knows this, having to constantly fight him to keep him in this dance, and even then the leash Tyr gifted him had never existed. He was no dog, but much like a coyote, he was easily mistaken for one. And if this child who is so full of himself, despite his clearly greedy nature when it comes to his power, were to be tasked with this, Tyr knew he would fail.

Not only because he would ruin any leadership position he touched without his own leash, but because he already had assumed what everyone else did.

"Tyr, can you stop trying to intimidate my son?"

He looks back to his boss, he had honestly forgotten his slight annoyance at the situation so whatever look he had on his face was incidental.

"Hm? Ah that's not what 'm doin' that's just my face. Where were we again?"

Yeah fun fact, Tyr fucking deeply dislikes Xanxus and his personality, he sees him as an inherent failure of a leader. Even though Tyr himself is a man who is filled with selfishness, he understands that leadership requires you to make sacrifices for your men.

As a leader you are to serve your men as much as they serve you.

But to him Xanxus is an eternally greedy little brat who only wants to take and take and take until there's nothing left to take. Tyr knows damn well, that it kills people.

and while he doesn't care about the lives of his men, he does need them in order to continue operating the Varia. He does need them to keep the comfortable position he has, and his ability to continue fighting strong fights. But if you keep destroying your own men, you will weaken your own forces, and then what?

You won't have anything.

Tyr may know he's only a teenager right now, but he knows at this point the way he acts will keep up unless something changes.

[mylittlesecrethaven]

How Relationships With Them Would Be: Pt 2

OH MY GOODNESS IT'S BEEN TOO LONG!

Anyway, let's do this.

I'm finishing this up.

Even though nobody asked me to.

Vice housewarden time. (Also, I know some of the dorms don't have vice housewardens, but you know what I mean by these characters. Please don't comment or message or whatever and be like "Um, actually--" Cause I know. Don't worry. :3 Thanks tho)

Trey:

Ngl, perfect boyfriend material. I can't really see anything that would go bad unless you're just super stubborn about your teeth brushing habits. I think that's the only deal breaker for him.

MC: But I don't wanna brush my teeth now! I'm going to bed.

Trey: Do you know what can happen to your teeth by skipping even one brushing session?

MC: Don't know, don't care.

All in all, the only way this wouldn't work out is if you are the asshole.

Ruggie:

Pfft- You fucking wish. I mean, if you get close enough, maybe. But this boi would probably rather trick you and snatch your shit than try to date you. Of course, even if you did get close, he'd tease you to no end. (But if y'all were dating, I'd say he'd be a pretty ok boyfriend)

MC: Um... where's my wallet?

Ruggie: Oh, I used it to buy food.

MC: Oh, how much food?

Ruggie: As much as I could get with whatever was in there.

MC: ...

Ruggie: And then I sold the wallet for some quick cash.

MC: ....my wallet....

Yeah, you could never keep anything valuable.

Jade:

Unless you're into sadism, you'd fucking die. Also, if you hate mushrooms, good fucking luck. And if you piss him off? You're family would never find you again. I swear, being with this guy would always have you on edge.

MC: Um... Jade? I may have.... sorta.... kinda.... destroyed one of your terrariums... On accident though!

Jade: *silent stare*

MC: ....Jade?....

Jade: *creepy smile thing he does*

(And then MC either goes missing, gets left up on a mountain, or has to work all of Jade's shifts at Monstro Lounge for a month while also helping maintain all of his garden shit)

So yeah. Unless you're ok with constantly being watched for weakness or blackmail, I'd say don't date this psycho.

Jamil:

I mean.... maybe? He's super weird about trust, so even getting close to him would be hard. If y'all are close, I'd say it'd be ok. He probably wouldn't have as much time for you as you'd like since he has to deal with Kalim all the time. Otherwise, I'd say he's ok.

MC: Can we go on that date tomorrow?

Jamil: No. Kalim is hosting another party.

MC: Again? He just had one yesterday, and I've been trying to get us to go on a date for weeks.

Jamil: Can't. Sorry.

Kalim would honestly be your biggest problem while actually dating Jamil. I'd say he'd be almost as good as Trey, otherwise.

Rook:

Another maybe. Sorta like how Jamil has to deal with Kalim, Rook is obsessed with Vil, so you'd kinda have to fight for attention. Honestly, you'd have to fight for his attention with everything. If you're a dull person, you stand no chance in pulling his eyes and actually dating him. However, unlike Jamil who has pretty much no choice in having to deal with Kalim, you'd have to live with the fact that Rook actually chooses other stuff over you.

MC: I made this cool art piece!

Rook: And it is beautiful! *goes back to watching Vil*

MC: That's.... that's it?

Rook: *still watching Vil* It is an amazing work of art! *pause* Oooo! Vil looks stunning today!

I feel like you'd have to have really high self-esteem to deal with being showed up by other stuff. It'd honestly really suck.

Ortho:

No

Lilia:

Honestly? Probably an ok boyfriend. As long as you're also a prankster, at least. If you're too dull or very lowkey, he'd probably gloss right over you. But if you're bubbly and hyperactive like him? Then yes. It'd also work if you're lowkey, but spook easily. I'd say he's alright.

Lilia: *appears behind MC* Hello!

MC: *nearly jumps out of their skin*

Lilia: *laughing*

MC: Not funny!

Not as good as Trey, but I think he'd be fine otherwise. The only big issue would be secrets, so if you aren't ok with your partner keeping a few private details to themselves, Lilia probably wouldn't like you as much. (Or maybe he'd like you more cause he'd get to tease you with it, but you might not like it yourself)