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#but he’s gotta go out better than kenny
poohbea · 1 month
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Oh I’ve def have seen a lot of things about Sylus either having another form or is a wanderer. I honestly haven’t played the game, but I’ve seen clips and game plays of it. It makes wonder if MC was someone really special to him, but they just don’t remember (I’ve seeing the amnesia trope or am I trippin?), but he def mafia coded and I’m here for it. Now I’m curious about your thoughts on Xavier 🤔
Also what are your thoughts of JJK ending soon and BNHA had ended?
Yessss, honestly i get most of my lore of tik tok, im not really that deep into it, but you know… your girl dabbles 😌. but you’re definitely not tripping though love and deep space is big on the amnesia trope and the reincarnation trope (one of my favourite tropes hehehe). i can’t wait for the next big update, i wonder where they’ll take the story, i ALSO wonder who the next love interest is gonna be. maybe it’s gonna finally be caleb hahaha or they might bamboozle us again 🤣.
but okay thoughts for xavier… i’ll be honest i didn’t think i’d like xavier when i first started the game, solely because he wasn’t my type (blonde, cutesy, blue eyes), i like em tall dark and handsome — or like sylus 😭. but the way i got WHIPLASH from xavier?? that boy next door thing came down and i’ll be so real it caught me off guard big time 😂. the duality?!?!? ugh, please give me streeeength. especially with the new card. fuck me, i lose my mind every time i watch it. his hands and the EYES and THE WAY HE’S A MASOCHIST HOLY SHIT. THE SECRET MASOCHIST PART HAD ME IN AN EARLY GRAVE. because WHAT DO YOU MEAN HARDER?!?! i’m so normal about him 🫠 hnnnnnn. he’s also the jealous type and i’m so mad that i missed that card where he’s like “who do you prefer? me? or lumiere?” i hope they do re-runs for them because lawwwwddd.
i’m not a BNHA stan buuut the fact that jjk is ending in 5 chaps is craaazy, i need to see the new leak cause i know nobara has miraculously returned after we all thought we was gone to meet God. i hope gege ends it off well, please for the love of all things good i hope he ends it good. me and a work colleague were theorising how it would go and mannn… i really wanna get more insight of sukuna’s life, will we get it in five chaps? i highly doubt it but we can dream 😭
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st4rb3rries · 1 year
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OMG I LOVED UR STAN AND KYLE BSF HEADCANNONS!! Can i req one with the main four, like what its like to be in a group w/ them?? have an amazing day <33
BEING IN A FRIEND GROUP WITH SOUTH PARKS MAIN 4
pairings; stan, kyle, kenny, cartman x fem!reader (all aged up 18+)
summary; chaotic friend group hc's!
warnings; cussing
a/n; hi and ty hope you have an amazing day too!!
key colors; blue= stan green= kyle orange= kenny red= cartman pink= reader
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late night skate boarding with them. it's always cartman who texts you guys to go. in reality he only wants to go to just to start shit. in my opinion kenny is the best skater out of y'all. but cartman is the worst💀. "you guys you guys look im gonna go down the ramp!!" "cartman that isn't a good idea your not ready-" "WAAAAAHHHHH" laughter is coming out from you, stan, and kenny. kyle wants to laugh but he ain't risking it😭. "GAWDAMMIT KYLE IM BEAT YOUR J-" cartman stops himself because he knows damn well not to rip on kyle in front of you. so he switches up real fast 🙄. "you guys i seriously think i broke a bone" "whatever cartman you just switched up cause you know y/n would kick your ass" 5 minutes kenny is teaching you, stan, and kyle a trick. "ok so next you gotta-" "get a room lovebirds i mean come on🙄" "CARTMAN STFU!!" "yeah dude stay mad because your not psychically able to do any of this🥱" this all happens in less than 15 minutes, like why can't y'all just be a nice friend group😭. moments later stan was about to go off a ramp. UNTIL HIS WHEELS BROKE OFF THE SKATEBOARD. i wonder who unscrewed them..... "AAAUAGHHHHHH" "DON'T WORRY STAN I GOTCHU!!" and there he was, stanly marsh in your arms. "W rizz stan or nah😏" stan could feel his face heating up fr. "damn dude that should've been me not stan😔" "kenny shut the hell up💀" "wait a minute where's cartman he literally almost killed stan tf????" cartman isn't trying to get his ass kicked in front of people so he ditched and went home. classic cartman.
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karaoke night. you guys are definitely singing 2000's songs. but it always seems like you guys get interrupted no matter what. karaoke night was started by cartman, which is so surprising?? "I WANNA HOLD'EM LIKE THEY DO IN TEXAS, PLEASE" "FOLD'EM LET'EM HIT ME RAISE IT BABY STAY WITH M-" stan and kyle always hating cause you and cartman sound a little too good. "BOOO GET OFF THE STAGE" "YA MY EARS ARE BLEEDING" "OH FUCK OFF GUYS LET US SING" "you guys have been singing this same song for 2 hours bruh😭" "2 minutes kenny get it right" they just hating cause they can't handle real talent. sometimes when the karaoke gets intense you guys act like judges for americas got talent💀. "is this kenny mccormick from south park colorado?" "yes" "and what will you be doing today?" "YOUR MOM AHAHA" "disqualified poor people can't seem to have talent" "CARTMAN WTF" "NEXT" "no wait i'll sing with him" "oh god" if kyle and stan think you and cartman sound a little too good. JUST WAIT UNTIL THEY HERE YOU AND KENNY. "THIS ONE IS FOR THE BOYS WITH THE BOOMIN SYSTEM" "TOP DOWN AC WITH THE COOLER SYSTEM" super bass by nicki minaj is y'alls go to song. every time you guys finish that song your out of breath and laugh so much😭. "AND THE CROWD GUYS MILD🔥" "NEXT" "cartman we are done playing americas got talent" "dude let me and kyle sing next we haven't sung at all🥹" "fine" "ah hell nah it better not be anything emo💀" *30 seconds later every one starts singing* "BUT IM A CREEP" "IM A WERIDO" "WHAT THE HELL AM I DOIN' HERE" "I DON'T BELONG HERE" suddenly the tv, microphones, and speaker goes out?? "LISTEN UP BITCHES IM NOT HAVING AN ALCOHOLIC, A JEW, A FATHERLESS DAUGHTER, AND A HOMELESS POOR BOY SING RADIOHEAD AT MY HOUSE‼️‼️" guess who got jumped that night🤔???
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melodysgarden · 2 months
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SP characters with a Reader that is clumsy/prone to getting hurt<3
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Stan❤️:
• He is definitely gonna make sure he is holding your hand or locking his arm with yours as an attempt to keep you from getting hurt
• Sadly something always happens, last time you and him were holding hands you walked face first into a pole at school (He felt so bad, he took you home, bought you different snacks to eat and even held your ice pack on your nose so you didn’t have to move a muscle)
• You can try and tell him that you get hurt a lot and that you’re just clumsy but he will still have that little bit of guilt in the back of his mind when you do get hurt
• Trust he will also be the type to carry a few bandaids and numbing cream in his backpack for you to use if an accident occurs (There will be plenty so you’ll be needing it)
• Definitely the type to let out a long sigh and pinch the bridge of his nose if you run into a wall, trip, stub your toe but it doesn’t leave you extremely hurt (He cares for you a lot but lord does he wish you could stay alright for 5 minutes)
• Overall he is very sweet to you and tries to make sure no harm happens but because it is you, something is always happening
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Kyle💚:
• Probably the most stressed out of everyone, even more than you when you’re hurt
• He stays strapped with bandaids, creams, alcohol, ect., there is no way he is going to let you get some sort of random ass infection or let you get hurt to the point you’ll need to go to the ER (he is very dramatic about your clumsiness)
• It’s almost like he can see you hurting yourself before it even happens, you’re stumbling about to faceplant, he is there grabbing your arm to pull you up, you turn around a corner too quick and almost run into someone, he is yanking you back by your shirt (He tries his best to be gentle but sometimes he has just gotta yank and grab you quick, lol)
• Will definitely give you lectures while he is patching you up or making sure you’re alright, it just stresses him out to see you like this
• There have been a few instances where he has to keep himself from yelling at other people if he feels they might have been the reason you got hurt (He means it all in your best interest because he can’t see it only being your fault even if you say it was)
• Overall he can get stressed but enjoys taking care of you when you’re hurt, he could never be mad at you or the fact you’re clumsy
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Cartman💛:
• Will absolutely laugh at you if he sees you run into something or trip
• If you don’t laugh too and get up after your fall or start grabbing wherever you got hurt at, he is gonna go quiet and get serious (He may be mean but if you’re really hurting he won’t be giggling)
• If you cry he is gonna be all like “Omg, I didn’t think you were that stupid.” and grab by your arm to take you somewhere to sit and maybe if you’re lucky he will give you a quick hug to try and make you feel better
• Definitely going to bring it up later and tell you something about being more careful and not being so dumb (He is really tying his best to sound reassuring)
• Is willing to help bandage you up and putting alcohol or cream on your wounds if you have them but will complain about it until he’s finished
• Overall he is so…Cartman about it, not the worst but not the best, He won’t ever tell you that he is worried about you getting really hurt but drops hints in his own way
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Kenny🧡:
• He is also the type to giggle a little if you stumble or trip but ONLY if he knows you’re perfectly fine
• Says something like “Oh you got a little ouchie here let me kiss it and make it feel better.” In an annoying baby voice to try and make you laugh (It does and makes you focus on whatever pain you might feel a little less)
• He is definitely going to be a bit more level headed about it, not too worried but not too apathetic to the point you feel he doesn’t care
• Definitely going to watch over you as much as he can, like connected at the hip, where you go he goes just so he can try and prevent you from hurting yourself as much as possible (The effort is sweet but with your clumsy self, that ain’t doing too much)
• Also the type of person to draw the attention from you if you trip or hurt yourself in public just so you don’t feel embarrassed
• Overall he has the right idea and sometimes can save you from your little mishaps (It’s the thought that counts!!)
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Butters🩵:
• Oh poor, sweet Butters, his heart can’t take it when you hurt yourself
• Whether its tripping over a piece of dust, hitting your head on your locker, running into a pole on the sidewalk, he feels so bad for you
• He will take you home right away when you get hurt, don’t matter when or where, you’re one of his top priorities especially if you're injured
• There was once an incident where he was trying to open his locker and you tried helping only for him to swing the locker open and hit you in the face (The guilt he felt that day still stays with him and he still tries to make it up to you…it was over 3 months ago)
• Isn’t the best with keeping creams, antibacterial soaps, and all that fancy stuff, so he sticks to his hello kitty bandaids to patch you up, obviously you don’t complain, it’s cute
• Overall Butters is a sweetheart like he is most of the time just with a bit more anxiety and worry when you're hurt (Man even if you aren’t he will be worrying about your next injury)
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seeingivy · 1 year
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befriend your landlord 
roommate eren x f!reader
you and eren reconcile after meeting your eccentric landlord
**find the series masterlist here
content: drinking, certified nut job landlord kenny ackerman, mentions of thanksgiving and fascism, mentions of a little meow meow 
an: I do not subscribe to canon lonely levi he actually just has a very alive mother and a weirdo freak uncle bc I said so. buckle in girlfriends!!! (and boyfriends and all the friends) also this chapter is based on a very real thing that happened to one of my friends in college I just think its funny...also ive evolved from calling this a mini-series cuz I plotted way too much and now cuz we gotta build the trust yk they are VERY MUCH IDIOTS IN LOVE
previous part linked here
“So we can’t drive because…” 
“He likes to drink. Like, an insane amount.” 
“What does that have to do with us?” 
You and Eren were currently swinging your feet on the green bench, the train station bustling in front of you. The two of you were riding into the city to meet with your landlord today. Kenny Ackerman. You were officially being added to the lease. But apparently, it was a bigger ordeal than just signing the papers. 
You’d thought against it originally. Signing a very legal, very binding agreement to live with Eren, to stay with him for the foreseeable future. It didn’t seem like the best idea, given how the two of you were as of late. Awkward, distant, aimless. 
If you had things your way, you would have been moving out, you would have never even been his roommate in the first place. You had even tried apartment hunting again, just to get away from Eren. For good. 
The second you tried, you immediately remembered the reason you had to live with Eren in the first place. The options were hardly to die over. Hole in the wall, bathtub for a bed, your old physics professor.
You were stuck with Eren, whether you liked it or not. And that meant you had to go, convince Kenny Ackerman you were ‘worthy of living in the apartment’ (Eren’s words, not yours), and then sign the lease. 
Eren had been coaching you for a better part of the morning, this conversation being the longest the two of you had talked in the past few weeks. 
Some part of talking to him was becoming easier. The two of you weren’t exactly having the conversations you had before, but it was civil. Nice even. It was the only reason you were able to stomach this entire thing.
“I would never drive you home drunk, Y/N.” 
“I could have driven us home.” 
“Trust me. He can be very convincing.” 
Eren had been coaching you on everything you needed to know about Kenny. Don’t call him Mr. Ackerman, he will hate you. If Kuchel, his sister, is there then make sure that you call her Mrs. Ackerman. Don’t call her Kuchel until she tells you to call her Kuchel. The sooner she says that, the better. Make sure to drink anything he offers you, the pink lemonade smells bad but it’s not too horrible. If his nephew is there, don’t make eye contact unless he makes it with you first. 
He was somehow more nervous introducing you to his landlord (and his landlord’s family??) than introducing you to his own parents. Granted, they kind of put a pin in that entire thing, but he seemed way more at ease then than he did right now. 
You can see the timer on the screen, signaling that the next train would be here in less than a minute. You nudge his shoulder and the two of you jump off the bench, hesitantly linking arms as you push through the crowd in front of you.
The second the doors slide open, everyone pushes forward, very quickly sliding into every available seat on the train. This left you and Eren to share a single pole to hold onto as the train started moving. You secure your knuckles right under his, the two of you standing in silence, less than a foot away from each other. He leans down, his face even closer than it was before and he whispers into your ear. 
“Brace your feet.” 
“I know how to stand on a train, Eren.” 
He doesn’t respond right away and you turn to find him looking down at the ground, avoiding meeting your gaze. You were just kidding. But then again, you did yell at him last week, so how is he supposed to know the difference? 
“Six stops. Then we’ll get off.” 
You nod, bracing your feet against the ground as the train starts moving. The train is stuffy, warm, and way over capacity. You can smell the girl standing directly next to you’s perfume, the prune smell so strong it was making your head spin. But worse than the smell was the heat, the congregation of people making the air congested, your hair sticking to the back of your neck from the sweat. 
The two of you are pressed against each other, standing awkwardly. In silence. You did that a lot lately. This thing between the two of you was…delicate. You’re not sure what it is but the usual comfort, ease that you and Eren had was all but eliminated, left with this quietness. If you made a joke, it was lost to him entirely. If he said something that caught you off guard, you usually avoided responding by leaving the room. You had shouted at him and he made fun of you, so that didn’t leave much room for comfort. 
The train quickly lurches, slowing down all of a sudden. You quickly lose your footing, stumbling in the air as the train stops completely. Before you can fall, Eren secures his hand against your waist, stabilizing you in the air as the train comes to a full stop. You watch a few people get off the train and switch with those getting on, your breath still shaky from losing your balance. 
You feel him lean down, his head directly next to yours as he whispers in your ear, again. His hand is still secured around your waist, holding you steady. Even though the train wasn’t moving. 
“So when I said brace your feet, I basically meant-” 
“Shut up, Eren.” 
“We should get a leash for the ride back. Lock you up real nice so you won’t move.” 
“Perfect! We can use after too, when I have to drag your drunk ass home.” 
The two of you are laughing, readjusting yourself against the pole as the train starts again. His hands are still holding you steady and you can feel your cheeks flushing pink. From the heat. Obviously. 
There’s always moments like this - ones where it feels like nothing’s changed at all. You try not to think too hard about them. They’ve always gotten you in trouble. 
He tightens his grip on your waist every time the train lurches and stops, for all five of the stops. You avoid the pounding in your chest, which only stops when you both hop off the train at the end of the line. 
As you wait for Eren to pay for the return tickets, you spot a tiny black kitten, just at the end of the sidewalk. You immediately run down, nuzzling the tiny little cat as you pet it. As you breathe in the air, you immediately sneeze twice, your eyes watery from the sensation. You immediately hear the sound of a camera clicking, to find Eren standing over you, his phone in hand. 
“What was that for?” 
“Two kitties!”
“Ew.” 
He holds his hand out, pulling you up as the two of you walk down the block to Kenny’s apartment. Your hands are at your side, lightly brushing against Eren’s every time he leans over, making room for the other people on the sidewalk. The sun is setting on top of the buildings, the air slightly chilled. The two of you stop, standing directly on Kenny’s porch. He glances over, giving you one last look. 
“Why are you so nervous, Eren?” 
“He can be really weird. And he’s going to grill you. Just- we have to bear with him to keep the rent the way it is and live together so, just don’t blow it, okay?” 
“I really appreciate your vote of confidence, Eren. Your faith in me is rejuvenating” 
“That’s- shut up, you know that’s not what I meant.” 
The two of you give each other a smile, as Eren turns to the side and knocks on the door. 
“Why didn’t you ring the doorbell?” you whisper. 
“His doorbell is La Cucaracha.” he responds. 
The door swings open and you’re greeted with three faces staring down at you - identical sets of jet black hair and gray eyes glistening in the lamplight of the street. At the sight of you, their faces all visibly droop, as they all welcome you in. 
“He looks too young for you, Levi. And he brought a pretty girl.” 
“Those are the tenants, Mom. Not Erwin.” 
The two of them shuffle down the hall, pushing past into the room. 
“Kenny Ackerman. You must be Eren’s new roommate.” 
“Yes, that’s me. It’s so nice to meet you.” 
You hold your hand out, him nearly jostling your entire body as he shakes your hand. He idles down the hallway to where the other two had gone, leaving you and Eren in the walkway. You whisper to Eren as the two of you hang your coats on the rack. 
“They hate me already.” 
“That’s not true. Kuchel called you pretty.” 
You roll your eyes, the two of you awkwardly shuffling into the living room, where the three of them were sitting across from you. It’s only then that you can get a better look at them and realize that you know one of them. Levi. Your old physics professor. The one who you cried to about not having a roommate that took pity on you and let you sleep in his house. 
“Hi Professor Levi. It’s been a while.” 
“I see you’ve found a roommate. I can’t believe you found a place to live in one week.” 
“I thought you said the two of you had been living together for a few months, Eren.” 
“We have, Kenny.”
“Ah, right. I was just looking around at other apartments for the past week just to see if anything popped up on the market. And they didn’t. So I’m here.” 
Eren ducks his head down, the expression on his face dark. He whispers into your ear as the three of them start chattering, still discussing Erwin. 
“What? You want to move out?” 
“No, no. I was just looking. It must be awkward for you to live with a girl who isn’t your girlfriend, you know?” 
He leans over, his eyes teetering between annoyed and irritated. 
“She’s not my girlfriend. I don’t know how many times I have to tell you that.” 
The doorbell rings, throwing you and Eren out of the conversation you were having. You watch the three of them jump up and rush to the door, fixing their hair and their clothes as they make it to the door. You and Eren stand up, peeking your heads down the hallway as you watch the three of them greet Erwin. Your old political science professor. 
First Levi now Erwin too? You can feel your cheeks burning from embarrassment, remembering that you had actually cried to the two of them twice - the first time to Levi when you were jumping houses and he agreed to let you stay with them and a second time when Erwin offered you an extra pillow before you went to sleep. 
“Hello. I’m Erwin Smith.” 
“Eren Yeager. This is my roommate, Y/N.” 
“Ah, Y/N. How are you? You figured out your living situation fast!” 
You don’t miss Eren glaring daggers at you out of the corner of your eye as you give Levi and Erwin an awkward smile, shaking your sweaty palms against their hands.
“Okay kid. You and Kuchel should go fix the dinner with Erwin in the kitchen. I have to talk to these two here.”  
Why are you and Eren here the first time Levi’s family is meeting his long term boyfriend? 
You look over to Eren whose irritation has very quickly been replaced with nervousness. Kenny is staring the two of you down, the two of you squished together on his very tiny couch. 
“So. You go to Shiganshina?” 
You feel your voice tangle in your throat, suddenly intimidated by Kenny staring you down. You can hear Eren’s voice echoing in your head, his angry look seared in your mind, your voice not coming out. He’s going to grill you. Don’t blow it. 
“Yes. She’s an Applied Kinesiology major. She’s very smart.” 
You look over, silently thanking the gods that Eren answered for you. 
“Can you pay rent?” 
“She has been, for the past two months.” 
He nods, leaning over the table as he stares you down. 
“I’ll give you a situation. Respond accordingly.” 
You nod, clenching your hands into little fists against the couch. 
“You just got off of work. You’re really tired but you have to stop by the store to get groceries. You’ve purchased them all. What do you do after?” 
You look over at Eren, giving him a weary stare. What the fuck kind of question is that? Is there even a right answer to this? 
“Well, I would leave the store. And take my cart, if I had one, to my car. I’d probably put my stuff away, return the cart, and then just drive home, put everything in the fridge and the cabinets.” 
He nods, taking in your answer as he leans back in his chair. “Do you like Eren?” 
“What?” 
“As a roommate.” 
“Oh. Right. Yeah, he’s great.” 
“Why did you start rooming with him?” 
You can’t lie. It seems wrong to tell him that your old roommates chose not to room with you for the next year - he was sure to not think you were a good fit if you said that. But if he found out you were lying, it would be even worse. 
“Well you see, she-”
“I asked her, Eren.” 
You feel him move his knee, pressing his against yours as his fingers curl around your hand. You feel him squeeze your hand twice, his green eyes warm as he looks at you. Right. You can do this. 
“I used to live with a few of my friends last year. I didn’t really know, but they had picked other arrangements without telling me, so I was left without a roommate for around a week. Eren was nice enough to offer me the empty spot in his room so I didn’t have to jump around from my friends' places every night.” 
He stares the two of you down. You’re rubbing circles into the back of Eren’s hand, the two of you holding your breaths as you wait for his response. 
“Sucks. Kids are bitches.” 
You both squeeze, trying your best not to smile. 
“Yeah.” 
“If you kids start dating, you can't be loud at night. You’ll piss off the neighbors. You can sign the lease after dinner. You passed.” 
He gets up off the couch, his distinct smoke smell leaving the room with him. You turn to Eren, the two of you smiling at each other as you lift your hands to high five. Eren holds your hand in the air, shaking your hand excitedly. 
“You passed, kitty.” 
“Where are we right now? Do you smell that? How does it smell like smoke and laundry at the same time? And what the fuck kind of question was that? I thought I was going to vomit. ” 
“Weird guy. Nice rent rates, though.”
“And Levi. He’s my physics professor. I literally had a crush on him. And his boyfriend, he was my political science professor too. I even stayed over at their house once. This is about to be super weird.” 
“Why did you stay at their house?” 
“I didn’t have a place to stay! This was before you offered, when I was jumping houses.”
“Were they loud at night?” 
“Ew. Don’t put that thought in my head. I’m going to vomit.” 
“Save it for later.” 
“As if. I can hold my drink. Trust me.” 
 - 
You and Eren are seated directly across from Levi and Erwin at the dinner table, Kuchel and Kenny taking the heads of the tables at the ends. A large part of this feels like you and Eren are intruding on a very special moment, but you ignore that and dig into the food. 
Right. For some reason, Kenny picked Thanksgiving food for the menu. In the middle of September. Like full on turkey dinner, mashed potatoes, cranberry sauce. 
“So, do you like Thanksgiving, Kenny?” 
“I hate fascism, Y/N. No, I do not like Thanksgiving.” 
You look over at Eren, trying your best to contain your laughter, as Kenny goes on, rambling about something you’re not quite sure about. Everything Eren said was slowly starting to fall into place - you really can’t turn down drinks from the guy. He’d already made you try three different drinks he made and you had only been here for an hour. And the pink lemonade was actually disgusting, Eren’s just a liar. 
Kuchel turns to the two of you, flashing you both a big smile.
“Say Eren. You never told us you got a pretty girlfriend.” 
You and Eren both choke on your food, clearing your throats. 
“Ah. I’m not Eren’s girlfriend. We just live together. Friends.” 
“Uh huh. Right. What a shame. You two are so sweet together. Sharing your sweet little smiles, playing footsie under the table.” 
You immediately drag your foot off of Eren’s under the table, embarrassed that she had caught that. Every time Levi rolled his eyes, Eren tapped your foot to get your attention, the two of you trying not to laugh. It’s not your fault that rolling his eyes is basically like blinking to Levi. 
“Ma. Leave them alone, yeah? They’re just kids, they don’t know what they feel.” 
“I have to agree with Lee’ here, Mrs. Ackerman. Surely, they just haven’t reached that stage yet.” 
“You call Levi Lee’, Erwin? That’s so sweet. Oh you two are just perfect and I-” 
The four of you five of you watch Kuchel burst into tears, taking turns pressing kisses to everyone's cheeks at the table. You and Eren included. When she sits down, Eren leans over, whispering in your ear. 
“She’s like Annie on hour five of being drunk.” 
“More like hour one.” 
You both laugh, silently eating your food as you watch them interact with each other again. Some parts of it feel like a reality tv show. Kenny’s is downright ridiculous - he’s been hurling out whatever comes to his mind. He told Eren that he seemed like the type to commit genocide in another life and then told Erwin that he would be a corrupt military man. 
Kuchel is sweet. Almost two sweet. She spent a large majority of the night crying, telling baby stories about Levi when he was a kid. You don’t miss the way Levi’s ears turn red when she confesses that Levi used to be scared of the toilet when he was younger. 
Best of all are Levi and Erwin. You don’t miss the glances between them - the silent communication they had going on at the table. It’s like the rest of you weren’t even here. That’s where you think Eren got the idea, the tapping on the feet. A signal that you were going to talk laugh about it later. 
Eight drinks in and Kenny is blasting music, doing a solo interpretive dance to Etta James. You and Levi are in one corner with Kuchel, Erwin, and Eren in the other. 
“I can’t believe this guy is your uncle. Did you ever do a DNA test?” 
“Hundreds.”
You turn your neck to find Levi, staring across Erwin on the other side of the room. You follow his gaze, watching Kuchel pinch Eren’s cheeks and Erwin laugh at the two of them. 
“What’s your deal?” 
“What do you mean?” 
“With Eren. You like him right?” 
You look down into your cup, the opaque liquid staring back at you. Erwin had made you a fruity drink, to which Kenny responded “everything about this guy is fruity!” 
“Yeah.” 
“He doesn’t like you back?” 
“No.” 
“I didn’t like Erwin at first. He was too much - pretentious, arrogant, irrational at times.” 
“But?” 
“But, he was my best friend. At some point, all the love and admiration I had for him just became something more. Like, yeah, he was my favorite person to be around but then I wanted to be around him all the time. Tell him the good things, the bad things. Share something with him, anything, everything. I…I didn’t hate myself when I was with him.” 
You smile, squeezing Levi’s shoulder in your hands. 
“That’s sweet, Levi. I’m happy for you.” 
He gives you a small smile, turning his neck back to look at them across the hall. 
“Be his friend. Maybe he’ll come around.” 
 - 
Six drinks in and Eren is feeling buzzed. He was trying his best to pace himself, make sure he was sane enough to take you home at the end of the night. He could tell by the glazed look in your eyes that you were getting there, close to being fully plastered. 
He turns his neck, scanning for you around the room. You kept disappearing. But there you were, directly across from him, leaning against the wall from Levi. He meets your eyes and you give him a soft smile, accompanied with a tiny wave. His heart’s pounding. 
“Do you like her, Eren? Oh please say that you do.” 
Kuchel is squeezing his shoulders, her eyes lighting up in excitement. 
“Yeah. Maybe a little bit.” 
“Oh, oh, oh. You have to tell her. Don’t let her get away now!” 
“Ah, I tried. She doesn’t like me.” 
He watches her face droop, Erwin shaking his head in the air. Both of their cheeks are flushed pink, the cups they were holding shaking in their hands. Surely the only people who were at least somewhat sober were you and Eren, which was saying a lot. 
“You know, Eren. I knew Levi was the one the moment I saw him.” 
“Really?” 
“I liked him so much, I wanted him around. In whatever sense that means. Even if he only wanted to be my friend.” 
“He didn’t want to be with you?”
“Oh no, he loathed me. Like full of hatred.” 
“And that didn’t…bother you?” 
“Maybe a little bit, but we became friends after that. And I just wanted him around. Whatever way he would have me. Even just being his friend, getting to see him everyday, that was enough for me.” 
Eren cranes his neck back over, where Kenny has his arms slung around you and Levi. He’s forcing the two of you to sign with him - Levi looking downright murderous while you flash Kenny a polite smile. 
“Just be her friend, Eren. Maybe she’ll come around like Levi did.” 
 - 
You can’t hold your drink. Obviously. But Eren knew that already. He had been watching you for a better part of the last hour, your inhibitions absent. Erwin had made you yet another fruit themed drink, which you were all too happy to down. The second he saw the glass hit your hand, he’d focused all of his best efforts in trying to sober up, calm the thrill running through his blood. 
You had made your way back over to him after some time, the two of you on the couch. You were leaning your head against his shoulder, your breaths heavy and uneven. At the sight of Kenny - who was now singing with Kuchel on the table - you suddenly perk up, your hands pressed against his shoulders as you lean over him. 
“Eren.” 
“Hm, peaches?” 
“I have a plan.” you whisper, your eyes somewhere between delirious and devious. 
“Uh huh. What’s that?” 
“You and I should sign the lease now. Then mail the letters. That way, we can leave and Kenny can’t get mad because we basically did him a favor. We’ll just tell Levi in case he asks.” you whisper, a smile spreading across your face. 
You’re drunk out of your mind. Not that Eren himself isn’t drunk either, he can certainly feel the buzz he was trying to will away living, but he’s not as gone as you. 
“Genius idea.” 
“I know right!” 
He was being sarcastic, but you had already jumped off the couch, to where Levi and Erwin were standing in the corner. He quickly follows, catching up to balance you as you stumble over to where the two of them were standing. 
“So. Levi. Right, hi Levi.” 
He’s mentally debating if he should stop you. You are very plastered and could potentially say something embarrassing. But there’s something so funny, so endearing about the determined little look on your face that he decides against it, letting you go on. 
“You’re a man.” 
He watches the confusion spread across Levi’s already strained face, his eyes flitting between you and Eren. 
“And you, Erwin, are a man too. You two are men.” 
“That’s correct, Y/N. You’re very perceptive.” 
Eren tries his best to conceal his laughter, as you go on, talking to the two of them. You’re definitely worse than Annie. 
“Marriage. It’s a thing, you know? And a man can do it. And a woman can too. And you are a man and he is a man and you can both do that. And we want to come to that. Like go to there.” 
How did you get from talking about the lease to marriage?
“Eren. What is she going on about?” 
“We’re going to sign the lease papers and mail them on our way out so we can leave. We have to be up early tomorrow and she literally cannot drink more. We were going to ask if you could let Kenny know tomorrow and tell him to be easy on us.” 
“You drive here?” 
“No. Train. We’ll be fine to get back, Levi. I got her.” 
He nods. Eren doesn’t miss the look Erwin and Levi give each other as the two of you lock hands, tip-toeing into Kenny’s office. Of course Erwin told him. 
The two of you quickly rush out, laughing as you run down the block before any of them notice. You slow down as you pass the corner, the two of you strolling the rest of the way down the block back to the train station. He can tell you’re winding down by the way you’re leaning against him, skipping steps. 
The train car is empty, this being the last train leaving the station. He settles the two of you into the seats at the front, getting in first. 
“Ren. Can I have the window?” 
He nods, wordlessly changing seats with you. This seat’s better anyways. You look out the window. And he can look at you. 
You lean over, your eyes drooping as you lean over. He’s not sure what it is, maybe Kenny’s rancid tequila is still running through his bloodstream, but he locks his hand with yours, pressing his fingers against the scar in between your knuckles. 
“I…miss you, Y/N. Being your friend.” 
He watches your expression drop, your eyes fluttering fully open. 
“You don’t think we’re friends?” 
“No! I mean, yes. I just didn’t realize you thought we were still friends. After everything that happened, the fight we had I just kind of- I don’t know.” 
You’re quiet for some time and he can see the gears moving in your head. Your eyes are now pinched shut, your forehead scrunched in concentration. Maybe this was the right time to say this. Hopefully, you don’t even remember tomorrow. 
“Are we in second grade, Ren? Do you really not think we’re friends?” 
Of course. The words he said to you, the day you were sick. 
“We are still friends. I just meant, it was different for the past few days. But today, this was…nice. I enjoyed it.” 
You smile in response, the two of you leaning your heads against the back of the seats, the only sound being the whirring of the train behind you. 
“Y/N. You wouldn’t really move out, would you?” 
“I was hoping you forgot about that. It’s my fault. I kind of…get in my head sometimes, I don’t know.”
“About?”  
“I thought you didn’t want me around. So I didn’t want to be around you. I thought you hated me or something.” 
“Y/N. Look at me.” 
His eyes are dark, the same way as when Levi mentioned you were looking for another roommate. 
“I could never hate you.” 
“I know, I just meant-” 
“No. You clearly don’t know.” 
You turn over to find an irritated look plastered on his face, his jaw clenched shut. You press your fingers against his shoulder, squeezing twice to get his attention. He flutters his eyes open, leaning down to look at you. 
“You’re special to me. I don’t understand what I did that made you think I would ever make fun of you or hate you. You...piss me off when you say stuff like-” 
He’s cut off by you placing your hand on his cheek, your eyes peering into his. 
“Sorry, Ren.’ 
“S’okay. I know why you do it. But just remember, I’m not your stupid old roommates or your lame ex-boyfriend or anyone who ever made you feel that way. You and I are-” 
“Friends.” 
Not what he quite had in mind, but he’ll take it.
“Yeah. You can tell me anything.” 
“Okay. You too.” 
He sees you smile, your eyes wafting shut against his shoulders. He can feel the pit in his stomach burning, the exact same way it did every time you did something. When you smiled at him, fixed his hair, got him coffee. God, he still loves you. 
“So Ren. Do you want to hang out after recess?” 
“Shut up. You’re so corny, kitty.” 
“Ew.” 
The next morning, Eren makes you breakfast and you sing in the shower. Progress. 
next part linked here
taglist: @maliakealoha @smolone88 @mykyoon @squirrelspoetry @roronoazorosbxtchh @fell-4-u @erensleftnutt @thelazylemur @mg63k @filunara @mblrrr @spidersinmybutthole @lezsie @erensmoodygf @maesthebestmonth @nanamiswife22 @lalalucidity @lapin0u @cullenswife @leafguitar @saiyasworld @rebeccawinters @mrs-sullys-blog @red-moon-dream @icansmellsouls @luvinclouds @katestrophes @amourely @6sakusa @miralbdo @k0z3me @celiniverse @txminie-blog @erenspersonalwh0re @s0f14sbs @violetmatcha @sweetenertea @wheredidmycrowngo @serendippindots @intimacywithceline @alonemoth @l0v31yw0r1d @meowmeowmau @miasthoughtsdotcom 
reply under this post or any of the one’s linked above to be added to the tag list! <3 
586 notes · View notes
daddyhausen · 1 year
Text
commission for : @switchbabeeexo
• backstage heat — kenny omega •
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.*•…………………..•⊹•…………………..•*.
{ masterlist } | { aew masterlist } | { kenny omega masterlist }
.*•…………………..•⊹•…………………..•*.
{ commission info } | { like my work? buy me a coffee <3 }
{ summary } — how on earth did you hatred for each other turn into well… whatever this is?
{ warnings } — 18 + { minors do not interact }, hatefucking, semi public sex, oral sex { male receiving }, throat fucking, choking, face slapping, throat pie, multiple orgasms, teasing, vaginal sex, rough sex, dirty talk, unprotected sex, penetrative sex, male + female orgasms, vaginal creampie, internal cumshot, squirting
{ word count } — 1.4k
{ pairing } — fem!reader x kenny omega
{ genre } — smut
{ taglist } — @cosmoholic13 @thewrestlingbitch @omg-im-such-a-masochist @adamjf @slut4kennyomega @wardlow @alexisquinnlee-bc @sammiejane22 @im-just-a-mississippi-girl @omegasluvbot @melissahausen @writtingrose @drummergrl1310 @unoficialy-married-to-ace-austin @bonehead-playz @cherrytheeredheadmamaclaymore @crowleysqueenofhell @romanreigns-supreme @janetreader @thenerdybaker523 @sunshinevirus @nicoleveno14 @rubyred1980 @elsteenerico @igncrxntripley @ripleyswhore @embermdk
{ beta readers } — @allelitesmut + @legit9thlunaticwarrior
{ comment if you want to be added to the taglist }
.*•…………………..•⊹•…………………..•*.
{ 40 } — you’re more than just a one night stand
{ 58 } — you have no idea how much i want you
.*•…………………..•⊹•…………………..•*.
you could feel him looming behind you
his presence an ever growing shadow that could not seem to lose
his gaze fixated on your figure
only a mere few steps behind you which in turn made you increase your speed
“where you going girly, i just wanna talk”
kenny’s voice lingered in your ears with the echo of the area hallway
“leave me alone, omega. how many times do i gotta fucking tell you?”
you spat words like venom, acidic to his ears
kenny was taken aback with faux shock at your demeanor, despite having witnessed it many a times before hand
“ooh, a feisty one. you got some bite to you, don’t you princess?”
“get lost, you prick!”
you managed to take sanctuary in a nearby storage room
swinging the door open, managing to squeeze yourself in just as his hand caught the door before it closed
“oh come on what will it take for you to leave me alone!?”
your back pressed against the door, trying to shove him out and at least gain a second of peace
“well, i can think of one thing”
kenny’s strength proved too much for you to handle
him having effortlessly pushed his way past you, and into the storage room
his body now barricading you against the door
your body trapped between his arms, his palms either side of your head
“oh hell no-“
“c’mon sweetheart, you know you want me”
“i’d rather fuck one of the bucks-“
your contempt for kenny and the bucks was well documented
their constant torment over the years, seemingly for no apparent reason other than to stir your emotions
it’s a surprise how you haven’t lost your sanity
kenny paused for a second, a small chuckle leaving his lips
“you and i both know that i’m a better fuck than both of them combined”
kenny leaned in, his breath tickling your earlobe on small wisps
his voice low, almost guttural, a soft rasp etched into his words
a sound that made your belly swirl with contempt
and more concerningly lust, arousal
it made your thighs clench together instinctively
your knees weak and mind in a daze
you hated him as he did you, you should not be getting so overwhelmed by this
“go to hell” you managed to seethe through gritted teeth
the blush evident and warm on your cheeks as kenny remained close
“oh princess, if i go, you’re coming with me”
his lips now present against your earlobe, lips barely feathering the skin
his cock hard, pressed up against your inner thigh through the loose fabric of his gym shorts
feeling him throb against you
“don’t lie to yourself, sweetheart. i know you’ve thought about me, about how good i could fuck you…”
kenny’s words echoed in your ears sinfully
no matter how much you tried to ignore his persistence
you could not deny how incredibly wet you had become
“i bet you touch yourself while thinking of me”
the blush increased, heat practically radiating off your cheeks
you tried to push him away, though the arousal thrumming through you kept your knees weak and unstable
instead opting for a harsh slap to his cheek
an act which completely left him unfazed
he did not even flinch
“ooh i struck a nerve there didn’t i?”
kenny let a hand fall from beside your face, smoothing down the length of your body before resting on your hip
his thumb looped in the belt buckle of your jeans
“you don’t know shit about me”
“oh really?”
he questioned, unbuttoning your jeans with one hand
you did not protest despite your hatred
he slipped his hand into your jeans, beneath your panties
fingers dancing across your soaked folds, teasing your clit
“then how come you’re so wet for me?”
you could not deny it at this point, it would be incredibly stupid to do so
the way his fingers teased you, toying with you with such ease
a small whimper left your lips, one that he easily caught
“don’t deny the way i make you feel, sweetheart”
you hummed at the feeling of his fingers, only for him to pry them from your void
your sweetness dripped from his fingertips as he licked them clean.
“fuck it”, you thought. you were gonna end up fucking anyway.
you might as well be the first to fully initiate
at least he’d leave you alone after this
dropping to your knees with haste
and much to his surprise, he let you continue
your hands reaching up, prying down the waistband of his gym shorts and freeing his cock
a small groan of pleasure ripped through his throat as you began to give little kitten licks to his tip
“i knew you’d come around eventually” kenny’s playful remark was met with malice on your end
“shut the fuck up im only doing this so you leave me alone”
“sure, whatever you say, princess”
you took him in your mouth, hollowing your cheeks so the process would be over quicker
kenny’s hand fell to the back of your head, pushing you further onto his cock so that his tip would be comfortably nestled in the back of your throat
comfortable for him at least
“you have no idea how much i want you…” kenny mumbled under his breath with the hopes that you did not hear
you did, only increasing the heat in your cheeks
his hand locked in your hair, keeping you still as his hips began to buck
effectively fucking your throat with ease
this was not supposed to feel as good as it did.
you could not believe how you managed to stoop so low as to fucking your enemy
“god, never thought you’d look so pretty choking on my cock”
your eyes were not keeping contact with his
instead, rolled back on your skull from the sheer force of his cock
spit pooled in the corners of your lips
a glossy sheen across the length of his cock
now dripping down your chin
“oh fuck-“ kenny grunted
holding your head firmly against his hips
your nose nestled in the neatly trimmed mound of pubic hair
as he emptied hot ropes of cum down your throat
feeling the residual throb of his cock against your tongue as he pulled out
you gasped for air, finally able to breathe
still feeling his warmth linger on your tastebuds
he was quick to pull you up by the hair
turning you around so that your face was pressed against the door
his still aching cock grinding against your clothed ass
his movements were swift
his hands now, tugging down your jeans, letting them sit mid thigh before moving onto your panties
“be a good little whore and take every inch of me”
he gave no warning when he was about to enter
and no time given for you to adjust to his size
kenny began his movements with quick, rough thrusts
filling your cunt deep with each movements
“fuck you-“ you seethed through a moan
“sweetheart, you are” he smirked into the crook of your neck
free hand coming up to wrap around your throat
“i’m the only man who fucks you this good. i know you hate to admit it but you love the feeling of my cock, don’t you”
you gave in, succumbing to the pleasure his cock provided with a small nod
“y-yes…” you stuttered, cringing internally at your words
“what was that princess, i didn’t quite catch that?”
“yes, fuck- your cock feels so good”
kenny pressed himself further into you, holding his positioning for a moment to pepper small kisses to your jawline
“good girl, such an obedient little thing”
your thighs began to shake
having to press yourself back against him to stablize yourself
your whines and whimpers flooded kenny’s senses
only fueling the arousal that burned through him
“you’re so fucking close i can feel it”
he began to increase his speed
“cum around my cock, i wanna feel it, sweetheart. make a fucking mess”
“kenny please…”
you cried out through choked moans
spilling around his cock without warning, much to his amusement
he was quick to follow suit, his seed filling you up so deliciously, dripping onto your panties as he pulled out of you
kenny stuffed his cock back into his shorts with haste
quickly pulling your panties and jeans back up
feeling the warmth of his cum radiate against your overstimulated cunt
“kenny?” you hummed, trying to regain your breath
he gave a soft hum in acknowledgment
“i uh…i don’t want this to be a one night stand type of thing…y’know?”
you stammered over your words and your newfound adoration of the man.
“sweetheart…” he began, the nickname he’d been using sounded ridiculously foreign given the context
“you’re more than a one night stand”
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287 notes · View notes
bubbiegumprincess · 17 days
Text
SOUTH PARK
you crash at their house after an argument with your parents!
warnings ; mentions of smoking/drinking !! HEADCANONS
PLATONIC!! they're kids, and I don't do aged up.
CHARACTERS : Stan, Kyle, Kenny, Butters, Wendy
(divider by .enchanthings)
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STAN
☆ When you knock on his door, it's LATE.
☆ I think stan would be a heavy sleeper, so you'd PROOOBABLY have to invite yourself in quietly.
☆ you made it to his room and shake him awake. he's SO disoriented. after a bit, he gets the situation. not why you decided to crash at his weed-smelling home, with his "dumb parents, and angsty sister".
☆ he's still hella confused. nonetheless, he finds a sleeping bag for you (better than nothing.)
☆ after you two fall asleep, it was like waking up wasn't even real. but you did anyways, so did he. you bid adieu, and go back to your house.
☆ he did sympathize, you both had shitty conditions, but you knew how it felt, and as little as you talked about it, he was still such a comforting presence to be around even when you were playing games or at school.
KYLE
☆ "you really gotta stop doing this."
☆ he was your go-to. all the time. when you argued with your parents, he was there. through a screen, through a door, or a neighborhood away. he was an understanding outlet for you to talk to. he was a listener.
☆ he wasn't confused at all when you came, hell, he knew it was you just bu the knock on the door, which opened to reveal your face, a pillow in one hand and a blanket in the other.
☆ that was absolutely all you needed, honestly. I can see him as an incredibly accommodating host. he would take out an air mattress and everything, I think.
☆ if you were reay really stressed, he would ask if you wanna watch a movie or play a board game. I couldn't see him doing anything incredibly thrilling.
☆ the morning after was just like any other. everyone was used to having you in the house, so the day presumed, and eventually you left to go back home, getting driven to your own place by Kyle's mother.
KENNY
☆ for what he's got, he will do everything in his power to make sure you're as haply as can be.
☆ you showed up, he yelled out to his parents that you were there and coming inside, and they shrugged him off.
☆ you're overwhelmed with the smell of beer, and straight up faced with almost a million cans scattered across the room, one making a fun tower on the windowsill.
☆ he gives you the bed. 100%. he'll sleep on the floor, and he will NOT be able to tell. when you get all comfortable, a pillow fight probably ensues. that, or you just talk to him. he's a good listener. and he knows how to listen well, too. not only with his little sister, but also with his peers!!
☆ you get woken up by some car alarm outside. either that or a smoke detector from downstairs. rubbing your eyes, you're met with Kenny, on the floor, disoriented and tired, waving to you silently.
☆ he gives you some chore money for the bus, a pat on the back, and you're on your way back home, thanking him, and knowing you'd be there again inevitably.
BUTTERS
☆ he does NOT care if his parents get upset at him for this. you're clearly in need. he can't turn down someone in need! he let's you in within milliseconds, and you're given the option of juice, water, coffee, tea, and everything else under the sun.
☆ I think he's like Kyle, in the fact that he probably has an air mattress. it may need some patchwork, but it's sustainable for a night.
☆ you lay on that, and he's on his bed, just a bit taller than your makeshift one. you talk, he listens, occasionally dropping in small compliments to make sure you know your worth.
☆ he gets it. more than anyone. what it's like to have that relationship with your parents. he empathizes immediately. I don't think he'd really give advice, but he would comfort you and remind you that his house is always a safe space.
☆ he wakes you up, probably making fake alarm beeps to make you laugh. you sneak out of the window, and he follows suit, after grabbing a snack from the kitchen for you to bring home, obviously.
☆ he probably walks home with you. not for any reason, he's just bored. and he knows when his parents are up, just as you know yours, and you're both positive that you have time to catch up and hang out for a bit.
WENDY
☆ she's THE advice giver. you like someone? she'll know what to do. you're failing a class? she'll be over in 5 to help study! you need to crash at her place? she's inviting you in, closing the door as she hangs your snow-covered jacket up, not minding the bits of ice falling to the placemat below.
☆ her parents understand after she explains, and nod. she probably has a spare room/bed, and she lets you use it with pleasure.
☆ if even the slightest frown appears, she's putting everything aside to listen and help. you don't wanna talk about it?? movie lineup. reading magazines. calling her friends and gossiping. she knows what to do, like she's been in this exact spot 400 times.
☆ after both of you lay down, the room is lit up by a space projector. a glorified night light. if you ask her about it, she'll respond by saying she's fascinated with the colors and the way it circulates on the ceiling.
☆ she let's you wake up when you want, but encourages you to set an alarm. breakfast is probably something small, the silence of the dining table ringing through the house, as her parents were dozed off still.
☆ she's a little hesitant to let you leave, still slightly concerned about the place you were returning to you. she texts you, making sure you're getting home safe. and assuring you that she's completely open if you need to talk to her again.
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(divider by .enchanthings)
31 notes · View notes
kenny-the-ken · 2 years
Text
Save the Date
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Aged up readers, Y/N is 17, Kenny is 18. All in high school. Mentions of drugs, alcohol, sexual themes and strong language. NOT FOR MINORS!! I hope you all enjoyed my first fic, it was written while running after my 2 year old who throws WAY too many tantrums so sorry if it wasn't my greatest work!
Kenny watched you from across the classroom, he watched how you twiddled your pen between your thumb and forefinger, how you the tip of your tongue darted out of your mouth as you concentrated on what you were writing. Your perfect y/h/c hair flowing in soft waves that cascaded down your back. He had fallen, and he had fallen hard.
Both of you were inseparable, the best of friends, you did everything together, albeit not much, because neither of you could afford to go a lot of places. He loved nothing more than laying down beside you in your bed with his arms wrapped tightly around your waist, you were the one of the only people that knew he was Mysterion, you were one of the very lucky few who had seen him without his orange parka hood suffocating his face. But the most important to him, you were the only one to remember, the first time he died in front of you, you were shattered to a million pieces, your heart completely broken, and the only thing that could ever fix it was Kenny coming back alive, not like that could ever happen.
But it did, and when you heard a small knock on your front door all those years ago, opening it to see those beautiful blue eyes and fluffy blonde hair standing smiling at you, your face covered in smeared black lines of mascara, he knew.
"Kenny?" You uttered, rubbing your eyes as if you were hallucinating, a glove clad hand reaching to cup your tear stained face, he just simply looked at you, tears now welling in his own eyes.
"You- You remember?" He asked, you giving him a small nod as his answer. You smiled, tears still falling down your face.
"Of course I remember, Kenny! You got hit by a bus and everyone shouted about how you'd been killed and then called them bastards!" You responded, before he grabbed you with both hands, saying nothing but pulling you close to him for the tightest hug you'd ever had.
"I'm so glad you remember. No one else does."
That day will stay forever engraved in his mind for as long as he was destined to be on this earth for. And he knew, he knew you were his one true soul mate. Yeah, Kenny had been with plenty of girls before, but none of them made him feel how you did, normally so confident in asking girls out, he was known as a flirt, but he had never been confident enough to ask you out. That was until today.
"Put your balls in your purse, Kinny!" Eric said to him, exiting the class watching you walking in front of him. He was half listening, half in a daydream about how good your ass looked in your jeans.
"Kenny? Hello? Earth to Kenny, are you even listening to us?!" Kyle said, waving his hands in the air in front of Kenny's face.
"Hey dude, I was getting a good view there!! Fuck you, man!" Kenny exclaimed, sighing as he seen you turn the corner in the corridor.
"Dude, you seriously gotta ask her out!" Stan said, the other two boys nodding in agreement.
"How, man? I don't have any money to take her places, what am I supposed to say, 'Hey Y/N wanna come to my house and see my shit bedroom, my mom and dad screaming at each other and our meth lab?!' She'd never go for a guy like me, dudes. And she deserves better than me." He said his head bowing to stare at the tiles of the corridor. His life really was a mess.
"And that's where the broship comes in, dude!" Eric exclaimed, the other boys staring at each other in confusion.
"I bet you $70 you won't ask her out by the end of the day!" Eric said, knowing Kenny couldn't pass up on money like that.
"And if you do, then the money will come in handy for a date right?" Eric said, a shit eating grin plastered upon his face.
"Fine." Kenny replied, saying nothing else before walking off to find you.
There you sat with the other girls, chatting about god knows what and eating your lunch. You could feel a pair of eyes burning through the back of your skull as you turned round, there he stood, your prince in an orange parka. You couldn't see it because of his hood, but he was smiling at you, and was that a blush on his cheeks?
You had serious love and feelings for Kenny, and you always had, but you knew he was a player, he had been with a lot of girls throughout the years, and he never ever chose you, maybe he just didn't see you that way.
He was nervous, a small bead of sweat trickling down his forehead. He made his way over to you.
"Is it hot in here, or is it just being so close to you, girl?" Kenny flirted, causing a small blush to spread along your cheeks.
"What's up, Kenny?" You asked, offering him the half of your sandwich, he normally didn't have much food to eat, so you liked to help when you could. He great-fully accepted the kind offer and then bowed his head slightly, taking on a rather unusual mannerism for him. Normally he was so confident and cocky, but right now, he looked like he might pass out.
And he felt like it too!! Maybe he could just die accidentally and come back tomorr- No! He has to do this! It was now or never.
"Can I- um... can I talk to you about something?" Kenny asked, his gloved hands fidgeting together.
"Of course, Ken, we can talk about anything together! Do you wanna head somewhere more private?" You asked, as he simply nodded in reply, taking off a glove and offering his hand to you.
"I rolled a joint I didn't get to smoke before school today, wanna dip and go to the park?" Kenny questioned, his eyebrow quirking, hoping you'd be down.
"I have Mr Garrison's class after lunch so fuck yeah I wanna dip. My mom isn't home as usual, said she was going to get drugs last night and hasn't came back, so we can go smoke up at my house if you want? I've got frozen pizza!" You exclaimed, a large smile on your face. You could never pass up quality time with Kenny, you both knew that.
"That sounds like absolute bliss, babe. But when we smoke up, I really do need to talk to you about something." He stated, your hands now fully intertwined. As you guys approached the double doors of the school you passed Eric, Kyle and Stan, the three boys staring at you both, wide eyed and mouths wide.
"Hey, fuck you Kinny!" Eric shouted, handing him $70. "Make it last! God knows when you'd be able to get $70 again, Kinny!" He shouted loudly, the blonde boy smirking and flipping him off on his way out the door.
"Fuck you, dude! I'll text y'all later." He shouted back, the doors finally closing behind you both.
The walk was long and cold to your house, since you lived in the same part of town as Kenny, and the school bus wasn't running, since technically school was still in session. During the walk Kenny had shedded his jacket, putting it on you instead, making sure you didn't catch sick and kept warm in the never ending snow that resided in South Park.
Soon enough you were both in your bedroom, the window cracked slightly as Kenny sparked his lighter, taking a long, slow drag of the joint before passing it to you.
"So, what did you wanna talk about? Has your dad gone psycho again?" You asked, taking a few drags of the joint and passing it back to Kenny, your hands grazing slightly, and when you two touched, it felt electric.
He shook his head no. "No, for once it's not my parents." He laughed out, smoke coming down his nostrils.
"Then what's wrong, Ken?" You asked eyebrows raised as your studied your best friends face. He had a light dusting of freckles, soft, pale skin and the most perfect, light pink lips and of course you couldn't forget the adorable little gap in his teeth when he smiled at you. You were in love, you had been in love with him for as long as you could remember.
His hands were ice cold, the blood not reaching them due to the speed his heart was beating at.
"I um... I-" He stuttered, his cheeks a deep shade of crimson, as he quickly puffed on the joint you two shared, passing it to you, he should've asked if you had any vodka here that he could take a shot of, a little Dutch courage, but it was too late, he was already sitting here, your full attention on him as he became a stammering mess.
He took his gaze away from you before he said it, he actually had finally said it to you, and he did so as quickly as the words would come out of his mouth.
"Do you maybe wanna, I don't know, bemygirlfriend? I mean, only if you want to! If you don't, I totally understand, I wouldn't wanna be with me either, I mean, you deserve the world and I can barely afford to feed myself-"
You cut him off by grabbing the front of his t-shirt and pulling him towards you, your lips crashing against one another. You had waited for this since you were younger, you had always dreamed of being his, being his girl. And now you were!
His eyes fluttered closed, melting against you and wrapping his slender arms around your waist, pulling you closer to him on the bed. He had dreamt about this, he had wanked about this! More than once! He'd thought about how your boobs looked without any clothing covering them, how your nipple would feel in his mouth, how hard he could slap your ass, how tight you would feel around his coc-
You both parted ways, panting as you did, a string of salvia connecting your mouths. Both of you were blushing profusely, and Kenny shifted on the bed, feeling the tightness in his jeans starting to bother him.
"I've wanted to do that since the fourth grade." You said, almost in a whisper, only for Kenny to hear.
"Then let's go use this $70 fat ass gave me and I'll take you on our first official date!" Kenny said, a small smile on his lips as he kept his arms wrapped tightly around you, as if a gust of wind could blow you away from him.
"I love you, Kenny McCormick."
"I love you too, Y/N, and I always have." Kenny sighed, the relief he felt come crashing over him. He no longer had to keep it a secret, he loved you, and you loved him, and that was all the mattered. You made him want to stay alive, you made him happy, and you made him whole. I guess soul mates really do exist.
Hey guys!! I really hope you enjoyed this fic, I just kinda banged it out and I haven't checked any spelling or typos, so I'm really sorry about that, I just hope you all enjoy it. Kenny's a cute lil fluff, and I love writing for him, but I'll write for anyone from South Park so if you guys have any suggestions or requests please do send them my way!!
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noirvette · 1 year
Text
main 3! + reader who gets non verbal when stressed!!
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i did a bit of research for this request, but i apologize if my portrayal isn't that good. also sorry for these being so short 😭 i got sick earlier out of NO where and my ability to think went downhill.
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cws: none !
♡ STAN MARSH
Out of the three, I think he's the least equipped to handle it at first
Not saying he won't try, he'll put some research into it, but when it happens the first time he has NO clue on what to do
He honestly has so many thoughts running through his head, at first he thought you were ignoring him/mad at him until he realized your other behavioral traits
If you mention that you get nonverbal when you're stressed/sad/overwhelmed prior to it happening the first time, he'll be better equipped to help you, he might still panic though
Your comfort is always his number one priority, he wants you to feel safe and comfortable for as long as you're nonverbal
He may struggle at first with finding out a rhythm that works for the best of you both to communicate tbh.
He picks up on patterns relatively quickly though, so he learns your behavioral traits very easily when you become nonverbal
He mainly sticks to yes or no questions, but also will pull out his phone and use google images a lot
Despite him being the least likely to handle it well at the beginning, I feel he's the best at handling it long term.
For example, if you tend to stay nonverbal for longer, Stan is pretty patient and can manage and get into a groove with you
He isn't the best at de-stressing people though, he may try to help you destress by helping you with what's stressing you out in the first place, but Stan isn't a huge problem solver and instead focuses more on the present and ways to help you now.
He comforts physically rather than logically or emotionally, but understands if touch is an issue for you. He'll just let you know that he's there for you and then sits besides you
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♡ KYLE BROFLOVSKI
Complete opposite of Stan LOL
I feel like he's picked up on sign language somewhere along the way growing up, and now I'm running with that idea for this
If signing is a way for you to communicate when nonverbal, he definitely uses what he already knows and then will brush up and learn more words and phrases to better communicate with you
Otherwise pictures and like a communication board is his next go to's
Out of the three, he's the best in terms of handling it right away
Kyle's pretty logical and so helping you solve the issue of why're you're stressed (if able too), he will help.
Despite that, I listed Stan's faults so I gotta do it to Kyle too, Kyle struggles with long term. If being nonverbal long term is a common occurrence, he's gonna have some trouble.
He makes sure to never take it out on you, but Kyle's pretty impatient and wants things to be solved relatively quickly when there's a problem to arise, he knows you can't help it so he's always patient around you, but his impatience is targeted at the root of the problem.
Despite that, like Stan your comfort and needs are put above all else. While he's taking time to help you destress, he's also trying to find ways to help you.
Whenever he gets stressed he likes quiet, just so he can collect his thoughts, so he does it for you too. Makes sure there's a calm and quiet environment for you, he doesn't want to accidentally cause you any more stress.
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♡ KENNY MCCORMICK
Solid middle man
He's good at cheering you up with silly distractions if that's something you'd be okay with
Sticks to writing and yes or no questions
Kenny is sort've oblivious at times to behavioral traits, but when he does notice what's going on, he becomes focused solely on you and making sure you're comfortable.
If you're okay with touch when nonverbal, Kenny will gently hold onto you. He's a very touchy person, however touch is not for everyone and he won't do anything you're not okay with.
He'd probably play music to help calm you down.
He might actually take the longest to figure out a solid way to communicate, but only because he second guesses if he's doing this properly.
Is willing to just sit and be in the same room as each other, Kenny himself can go a while without talking, normally uses his time reading or playing some random free game. He'd let you join him and you two just sit in silence in each others presence.
When it comes to helping you with the cause of your stress, Kenny is similar to Stan in that he focuses more so on the present.
However, he does want to know what's the matter and see if it's something he can manage to help you with.
He comforts you emotionally rather than logically. Also is a pretty big physical comforter but again as I mentioned prior, won't touch you if that doesn't work with you
He tends to do a lot of reassuring words with Karen and this'll carry over to you.
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h-harleybaby · 2 years
Note
can you make (romantic) rollar skating with cartman kenny and butters hcs please
-xxx anon
Ooooh
Ofc hun <333
Cartman
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Eric kinda sucks at skating because mans has n o b a l a n c e
So when his gf asks him to go to the skating rink with her as a date, he was a lil iffy about it
With enough begging, he'll go with you tho- but you gotta pay for him to get in
You're perfectly fine with that, as long as you get to spend time with your stupid bf <33
As I said earlier, Eric sucks at skating so ofc he fell a bunch of times, each time getting even more mad. He probably cursed out his skates despite them being inanimate objects and grumbled the whole time he was actually skating
He would get into such a bad mood if you laugh at him falling, probably would pout about it and say how mean you are
If you kiss him a couple of times he'll forgive you tho, but it has to be when no one's looking so no one he knows will say something
But the rest of the date he's gonna have a death grip on you so he doesn't fall again. 8/10
Kenny
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Kenny doesn't have the money to get in at first but he just can't say no to you, how could he say no to that adorable face you have and those eyes??
He's probably has to take up a couple of extra shifts and pickpocket a few people so he can take you out to the skating rink and treat you <33
He isn't exactly bad at skating, he's just never done it before
Once he gets the hang of it he's probably better than you! You might've purposefully fell into him a couple of times so he could hold you in his arms while y'all skated together
Neither of you are complaining tho, it's fun to get out and Kenny loves the touch
He's completely simping over you tho, you just look so pretty??? PLUS- you're wearing that skirt he loves seeing you in cough he loves seeing you in everything cough
Would probably skate behind you just so he can check you out- and who knows, he might just pull you away at some point to make out with you because lord knows he can't keep his hands to himself
Overall y'all had a really fun time and he took you out to eat after, it was the best. 10/10 time
Butters
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I hc that Butters is actually super good at skating and goes a lot
He remembered you mentioning how you wanted to go skating because you had never gone before and he immediately, like the lil gentleman he is, said that he's gonna take you on a date to the skating rink! Only if you're free and ok with it tho <33
He's gonna hold your hand the whole time because he doesn't want you to fall! But he shows you how to skate and comforts you whenever you fall saying you're doing pretty well for someone who's never skated before
Butters is probably flustered the whole time and it's so fucking cuteee
He probably fell at least once or twice because he was watching you skate in front of him and being completely smitten
He walks you home when all is said and done, he can't take you out to dinner or his parents would ground him for staying out too late
But he'd probably make you a home cooked meal or at the very least try if his parents are asleep or not home. If his parents are home or awake he'll ask if you can stay for dinner and you eat dinner with his family while holding his hand under the table :D
It was one of the best nights of his life so far and it was a wonderful date :) 10/10
SORRY IT TOOK ME FOREVER HOPE YOU LIKE IT
IT WAS SUCH A CUTE REQUEST <333
Please spam my asks with cute requests I love them-
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kestalsblog · 4 months
Text
Normally I post fanfics only on Ao3, but I reeeeally wanted to get to write something Stanman for Mermay, so the below scene is Tumblr-exclusive. I haven't had much time, so this is just a quick one-shot scene featuring AU college Cartman and merman Stan. This is not a full fic I intend to develop as of right now, but just a drabble scene for fun 🧜‍♂️
Enjoy!
Part Two
TW: very slight language and mention of injuries and fear (nothing gruesome). Also this is an angsty scene
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When his friends told him about South Park’s latest attraction—a merman that had been captured in the Pacific and shipped to Colorado—Eric was only mildly interested. Weird, unbelievable shit happened in South Park practically every day, so a merman wasn’t exactly the thrilling spectacle everyone was making it out to be. He certainly wasn’t as entertained by the idea of visiting the dine-and-view restaurant where the merman was supposedly being kept on display as Kyle and Kenny were.
Ordering seafood in an aquarium was a revolting enough idea, but sushi with a merman a few feet away? Jesus Christ. Eric thought those steakhouses where you got to watch bulls run around while you devoured their kind was bad enough. Like, hey guess where you’ll end up if you’re not entertaining enough? That’s right! My dinner plate.
God, at least he was trying to be a better person than he used to be, and now his friends were pulling him right back into sadistic hobbies.
“I can’t believe you two are seriously interested in this,” he complained on the car ride over with Kenny and Kyle.
“Well, you have to admit, it’s kind of a once-in-a-lifetime chance,” said Kyle from the passenger’s seat because of course Cartman had been relegated to the back.
“Hell, it’s a Friday night and we’re still in college. We have the rest of our lives to care about lame shit like this,” he whined. “Defend me here, Ken.”
“I gotta know if this is some kind of scam,” Kenny said, obviously more focused on the road than the conversation. “Butters went last week and said it made him feel sick.”
“It’s probably just a dude wearing a plastic tail,” said Eric.
“Or maybe his legs were cut off and it was surgically implanted onto his torso,” said Kyle with a melodramatic shudder that transformed somehow into a laugh. “Only in South Park, right?”
“Amen to that,” Kenny joined in, but Eric’s sour mood didn’t lift. Fridays were precious days, and instead of partying or doing something worthwhile, he’d be spending his evening at someone’s hoity-toity swindle. And even if it was true, and there was a real merman in South Park, what did it matter? He pressed his forehead against the chilled glass of the window and watched the streetlamps pass by his vision.
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The first thing Eric noticed in the restaurant was the overpowering aroma of expensive food (thank God Kyle was paying), and the second was how many children were gathered about a massive cylindrical tank in the center of the place. It wasn’t a restaurant he knew despite having lived in South Park his entire life because the establishment had been built for this purpose alone, apparently.
“I don’t see anything but water,” he said while a finely-dressed waiter led them to their table, which was an inconvenient distance from the tank.
“Me neither.” Kenny strained to the tips of his toes. “Should we go check it out closer?”
“Let’s order first,” insisted Kyle, but Eric found it difficult to focus on ordering with that large, ominous tank in his peripheral vision.
It was simply a tube constructed into the center of the restaurant that spanned from the floor to the ceiling, and though it looked massive at first glance, Eric wondered if a human-sized creature could thrive within the space. Maybe mermen were smaller? The water inside was impossibly blue, probably dyed to look more appealing. Small glittering lights were implanted throughout the inside of the tube to create a magical underwater atmosphere, but Cartman thought it felt more eerie and unnatural.
After their orders were placed, Kyle agreed they should go check out the main attraction. “There are definitely a lot of people here,” he observed as they abandoned their table to head toward the tank.
“Shit, there really is someone in there,” gasped Kenny once they were closer.
Eric’s attention went immediately toward the small children pressed against the tank. Several of them were knocking their fists hard into the glass while they chanted, “Hey, look at me! Over here, fishy! Over here!”
Fucking rude. “Where are their parents?” he muttered, but Kyle and Kenny were shoving their way past him.
“Oh my God,” he heard Kyle say through his teeth.
Unafraid to push a child out of the way, Cartman made room for himself and felt his breath halt almost painfully when he saw someone sitting slumped in the furthest corner of the tank. Because of the shape, there was nowhere the person, no, merman, could sit without someone right behind the glass, but he’d done his best to conceal himself into a small ball.
If he was just a person wearing a fake tail, he looked extraordinarily authentic. Even from where he was standing, Eric could distinguish the individual scales on the tail. The scales were all different shades of blue, with a pale, iridescent dominant hue that reminded Cartman of crystals. Under the lights, the tail twinkled like ice in sunlight. And if he looked close enough, he was certain he could see small veins pulsing in and out across the anxiously flickering tailfin.
“It can’t be real, right?” Kenny said with concern next to him, but Eric couldn’t find the voice to answer. His focus was locked on the merman who sat with his arms crossed around his abdomen and his shoulders hunched. He looked as if he was physically trying to become smaller, even though Eric was pretty sure that if he stretched out to his full height with his tail included, he’d be too large for the tight space.
He was too pretty to be real—and not just for the features that were nonhuman, but the ones that made him human as well. Black hair swirled around his ears and cheeks in soft coils like an oil spill haloing his head. Eric couldn’t catch many glimpses of his face aside from the few moments when he jolted after a particularly loud knock on the tank. Only then would he look up with wide, alarmed eyes that were a devastatingly gorgeous shade of blue that Eric had never seen on anyone else.
“This doesn’t seem right, what they’re doing to him,” piped up Kyle, and Eric recognized the heat behind his tone. For once, Eric had to agree with him. The merman was clearly terrified, his pupils shrinking and then expanding again with each flash of a camera against the glass. His chest expanded and contracted with the movement, and Cartman didn’t miss the widening of what appeared to be openings on his skin, surely gills, across his throat.
“Hey, guys, our food is probably coming soon,” Kenny said with dampened spirit. Eric hadn’t even realized how long they’d been standing and staring.
“I’m going to talk to the manager of this place after we eat,” snapped Kyle. “If I hadn’t already paid, I wouldn’t be giving my money to these freaks.”
“You’re the ones who wanted to see this,” Eric reminded them, but they didn’t seem to hear him as they went back to the table in their own storm cloud of negative thoughts.
But Eric couldn’t make himself go back to eat dinner, which was a surprise even to him, considering food was usually his go-to for fighting off the terrible gnawing feeling he was experiencing right now. All he could do was stay in place and watch the beautiful merman thump his tailfin uselessly against the bottom of the tank again and again. The sight reminded of him of some poor traumatized dog who’d been kept in the puppy mill for too long.
“Fishy! Look, look!” the kid next to Eric shouted, smacking so hard on the glass that the merman jerked and actually placed his hands over his ears. His eyes spasmed wide and then squeezed shut in an obvious pain response. The arm movement revealed delicate, blue webbing between fin-like structures on either side of his wrists. Eric was certain he’d never seen a prettier creature in his life.
He glared at the child. “Hey, knock it off. Can’t you see you’re bothering him?” he snapped, not caring if he upset some snot-nosed punk kid.
“You’re no fun,” pouted the kid before sulking off and giving Cartman better access to view the merman. When Eric moved closer, the merman slowly reopened his eyes and gave him a quick, panicked look before shrinking deeper onto the floor again. The sight of him twining his tail around himself with desperate fear sent shards through Eric’s heart, especially when he considered that holding someone like this hostage for money was exactly something he would have done when he was younger.
Now, though, when he looked closer and saw the bright pink lacerations across the merman’s tail, he felt more than sick to his stomach. The wounds were clearly fresh and extended all the way to his tailfin, where some of the fine partitions were shredded completely. Eric must have been initially too hypnotized by the merman’s beauty to notice the injuries, probably a byproduct of his capture.
“Cartman!” Kyle’s voice broke over the chitter chatter surrounding him. “Get back over here, dude. Management sucks and won’t listen to me.”
He knew he had to go back, but walking away from the merman was difficult. When those sea-colored eyes, framed with long, feathery lashes, finally shuddered back to meet his, Eric froze all over again.
The merman’s face was a little too narrow and pallid, he thought, despite the small shimmers of silvery blue smeared across random patches of his skin like makeup. His hair was so dark in contrast to his skin that it truly resembled black water mingling with that abnormal blue dye.
The merman looked so beautiful and sad, and it made Eric even sadder to think he probably wouldn’t feel this sorry for him if he weren’t so beautiful and didn’t look so human. A few hours ago, he hadn’t given two shits, but now that the merman was watching him with terrible resignation while dozens of camera flashes bounced off the tank’s glass, he cared. He cared a lot.
It took every ounce of willpower to turn from the merman’s pale, hopeless face, and go back to Kyle and Kenny then, and even then, he paused to look back. The merman was in the same position, but still looking at him too.
(South Park and its characters obviously do not belong to me. Creators are Trey Parker and Matt Stone. This is intended for fun use only, not monetary.)
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eagna-eilis · 1 year
Text
Star Wars Characters at a Family Wedding in Ireland
ANAKIN - Gets extremely nostalgic about his own wedding and makes his adult twin children groan in embarrassment. Is in such a good mood that he isn't even mad when Leia calls him a fascist for voting Fine Gael, and manages to give his grandson an effective pep talk.
PADMÉ - So resplendent that the bride is almost jealous but honestly how could you be upset with her she's just so nice. Gets giggly tipsy over dinner and waltzes with C3P0 afterwards. Touches up literally everyone's makeup for them throughout the night and does a better job than the actual makeup artist.
OBI-WAN - Waits til the night is winding down then magically locates a squeezebox, fiddle, a guitar, and a tin whistle and hands them out to start a sessiún. The sing-song goes on until 5am and it's all his fault. His signature song is 'The Lass of Aughrim' because it makes him feel all literary.
R2D2 - Has at least four too many double Jamesons and literally starts arguing with the wall. Shmii finds him passed out under a table the next morning, wherein he swears he's not drinking until Christmas.
C3P0 - Wrecks the heads of the hotel staff over dinner with all his requests, to the point of embarrassing the other people at his table. Conducts impromptu ballroom dancing lessons while the band plays and charms the pants off everyone with his patient explanations of how to foxtrot.
LANDO - Pulls out a deck of cards and starts a game of 21s in the corner. Absolutely swindles everyone. It's okay though because he puts his winnings behind the bar so nobody has to pay for their drinks after that.
AHSOKA - Brings enough weed to share with a chosen few, like an absolute queen. Ends up hanging out in the loo for ages rolling for herself, Sabine, Maz, Kanan, and eventually Ben. Despite her relative stillness and quiet, she enjoys the music more than basically anybody else and people will quote her fondly slagging Anakin over dinner for the next 20 years.
SABINE - Camera queen who tries to look like she isn't enjoying herself. Fools nobody because she keeps grinning and snort-laughing. Her photos are a thousand times better than the photographer's and are the ones that the couple use for their album.
HERA - Helps Leia gang up on Anakin about politics because goddamn it, Leia isn't wrong. Hands out isotonic powder sachets and paracetamols to everyone before they go up to bed. They're gonna need it.
EZRA - Gets so hyper after consuming so much 7up that Hera has to send him to bed before the DJ takes over from the band. Sneaks down later for the cocktail sausages.
DIN DJARIN - Couldn't get a babysitter so he's tucked up at home watching The Late Late and hate-tweeting it.
GROGU - fell asleep in front of The Late Late. Delighted when somebody brings wedding cake to the house the following day.
KANAN - Literally will not be at peace until the DJ plays Kenny Rodgers' 'The Gambler' because it's not a wedding without it. Once that's done he insists on 'Come On Eileen'. Somebody's gotta be the keeper of the flame of tradition, after all.
CHEWBACCA - Requests all the group dances. Rock the Boat, The Siege of Ennis, The Macarena, The Walls of Limerick, Chain Reaction. Bullies everyone into joining in, except Ben who is the absolute antithesis of craic.
LUKE - Every wedding requires at least one merrily drunk uncle and Luke does not disappoint. Suit jacket? Gone. Top buttons? Open. Tie? It's now around his head while he stands on a chair playing air guitar to 'Hotel California'. Ends up puking in a flower pot. Iconic.
LEIA - Would have been okay if she stuck to wine all night but a single gin and tonic on top of the shitty hotel merlot and suddenly she's having an hour-and-a-half political argument with Anakin. Embarrasses the hell out of her parents, brother, and son by smooching Han repeatedly while dancing.
HAN - Organises the pre-ceremony pints. His sotto-voce asides are funnier than anything in the speeches. Quietly sings along to 'Brown Eyed Girl' by Van Morrison in Leia's ear while they dance, prompting all that smooching.
FINN - Sneaks into the hotel's public bar to check the hurling scores on the telly then reports them back to all the lads. Keeps his wits about him regards alcohol so he can take care of Poe later but eats so much cake he feels sick.
POE - Holds court in the bar, telling long anecdotes about his life that are only 75% true. Dances and flirts with all the aunties and nanas and makes them feel great about themselves. It doesn't convince Ahsoka to give him a spliff, though, because she is immune to his charms.
ROSE - The boomers yell at her for getting the DJ to play 'Celtic Symphony' by the Wolfe Tones, but she calls them hypocrites who are oozing postcolonial shame. Anakin offers to adopt her because now she's the centre of the politics argument. Knocks it out of the park at the sing-song because she knows all the words to at least 20 rebel songs.
MAZ - The first to place her handbag down on the dancefloor so as to coax the other nanas onto the floor. Jovially flirts with every man over 18 and under 60 that isn't her blood relation. Asks Poe to marry her.
REY - Finishes at least three other people's dinners. Sings along very loudly to every song that the band AND the DJ plays. Can't dance at all but it doesn't stop her. Should probably check on Ben because she knows what he's like but decides that tonight he's his family's responsibility. Loses her entire shit when ABBA plays.
BEN - Zero craic, God help the poor craytur. Drinks brandy as an affectation and starts quoting James Joyce after four of them. Gets extremely mopey after brandy number six and ends up having a long heart to heart with his Grandda Ani. Cries then throws up. Auntie 'Soka gives him a joint to settle his tummy. Subsequently feels better and then knocks everyone's socks off singing 'Raglan Road'.
SHMII - Begs off the party at 10pm because she's 97 years old. Still makes sure that everybody takes their hangover down to breakfast the following morning for a Big Feed of rasher-sausage-and-pudding, and maybe hair of the dog if they're desperate.
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Text
I Still Get Jealous
Pairing: Nick Jackson x wife!reader
Category: Fluff/Light Angst
Word count: 4,023
Summary: When a wrestler has a crush on you, your husband makes sure to show you extra affection when the other man is in the room.
Warnings: Swearing
Requested by: rihannaproctor14 on Wattpad
Masterlist
Taglist
Gif is not mine. Credit to owner.
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This was, what felt like the tenth time today, that your husband gave you kisses all over your face. Normally, you didn't mind but this was getting a bit too much.
You had no idea what was making Nick spontaneously show you all this extra affection, you loved it but you also didn’t like the looks some people were giving you.
You worked in the wardrobe department and had a hand in the merch shirts that went up on the website.
Brandi was the one who found out about you several years back after seeing some of your work floating around Ring of Honor. She was impressed with your creativity and showed Cody, Kenny, Matt, and Nick how talented you were. The men agreed, knowing they would definitely need someone with your creativity and skill set when AEW got up and running so they had Brandi contact you with an offer — clearly you accepted and, as they say, the rest is history.
Over the years, you got to know the EVPs well — Nick in particular. The two of you hit it off immediately, like you had known each other your whole lives. About four months later, Nick asked you to be his girlfriend and two years later, you were Mrs. Nick Jackson.
You were currently working on a new shirt design for Top Flight. You had just finished it and wanted to get the Martin brother’s opinions.
You headed out of the wardrobe room and down the hall towards the locker rooms. You were too excited about this design to notice The Elite just up ahead and the boys were too caught up in their conversation about who knows what to see you coming. You collided with one of them and thankfully he kept you from falling. “Sorry! I just—” You started to apologize when you looked up seeing it was none other than your husband you ran into. You chuckled, shaking your head. “Thanks for catching me babe.” You stood on your tip toes and gave him a peck on the cheek.
“Where are you in a hurry to?” Nick asked, until he noticed your iPad in your hands. “You got a new design for us?” He tried to sneak a peak at your iPad.
You shook your head, grinning. “Nope, not today. I have something I need Dante and Darius to look at. If they like it, it just might be their new shirt design.” You beamed, proud of your work. You flipped your iPad around and showed off the design to the guys. “What do you think?” You asked, genuinely wanting their opinions.
Nick tensed up at the mention of the older Martin brother’s name. He did his best to play it cool so no one would catch him and try to put the pieces together.
Matt, Kenny, and Brandon loved the design. They all told you how good you did and joked that you should make theirs look ten times better. The four of you laughed and that’s when you noticed Nick was being awfully quiet.
You looked over at him and noticed his jaw clenched and that he was off in his own world. You weren’t sure what caused this reaction but you were going to find out.
You subtly tugged on Nick’s arm in attempts to get his attention. After a particularly hard tug, he snapped out of his thoughts. “You okay Nick?” He knew were concerned when you called him Nick. You always called him some cute nickname, even when you called him Nicholas he knew you were teasing him unless you were upset with him.
“Huh? Oh yeah. Yeah. I’m okay sweetheart.” Nick placed a kiss to your temple. You weren’t fully convinced but let it be as you gave him a soft kiss to his lips, rubbing his cheek with your thumb.
You hated to leave Nick like this but you had to go find Top Flight before the show started. “I gotta get going guys. I’ll catch you later!” You exclaimed as you hurried off down the hall.
You finally made your way to the men’s locker room. Luckily, you caught Ricky about to enter the locker room. “Hey Ricky! Can you do me a favor and tell Dante and Darius I want to show them a design for their shirt?” You asked, the always well dressed man.
Ricky agreed and shortly after out came the Martin brothers. “Ricky said you wanted to see us about a shirt design.” Dante said, glancing at your iPad in your arms. “You have one done already? We weren’t expecting one until next week.” The younger of the two looks at you, impressed you were so quick.
“Yeah I know but I got this idea the other day and I just had to get drawn up. Nick wasn’t too thrilled because I didn’t get in the bed until one in the morning that night.” You shrugged. You couldn’t help but notice Darius was being quiet, much like how Nick was earlier. Thankfully, Darius didn’t look stone-faced like Nick had. “You wanna see it?” You eyed each brother and they both nodded, Dante more excited than Darius.
You flipped your iPad around and passed it over to Dante. You gave the two boys a chance to look it over. You saw how they lit up as they took in your art work. “This is so damn good! A lot better than what we had pictured, right Darius?” Dante nudged his brother and Darius subtly shook his head.
You observed Darius a few moments longer before he finally spoke. You couldn’t help but get the feeling something had him distracted — little did you know you were the distraction.
“What? Oh yeah, yeah. It’s a million times better than our shitty idea.” Darius finally answered. You raised an eyebrow at Darius’s behavior, but didn’t question him. You figured he was thinking about their tag match later on with The Elite.
You had a busy couple hours ahead of you so told the guys you would have a shirt ready for them to look at in the next few days and politely excused yourself.
Back at your station in the wardrobe room, you got to work putting together an outfit for Renee when you heard a light knock on the door. You turned around to find your husband standing there admiring you working away. “Hey handsome. Finally going to let me style you for once?” You teased, smiling and knowing he and Matt actually enjoyed dressing in those wild clothes. You slid your arms around his neck once he was in front you. “Gimme a kiss. I’ve been missing those lips.” You grinned. Nick didn’t have to be told twice as he leaned down and kissed you with intensity that you weren’t quite expecting given that you were at work, but you were not about to complain but rather return the intense kiss.
You the two of you were too caught up in your own little world to realize that Darius had stopped at the door to ask you a question about his outfit for a backstage segment next week.
Darius knew his crush on you wouldn’t and couldn’t go any further than a crush, you were a married woman for heaven sakes! He would never try to ruin anyone’s relationship or marriage just because of a crush. He still held out hope that his crush on you would fade and he would move on to someone else but this crush had been going strong for months now. He was thankful that only Dante knew about it. Little did Darius know, Nick had learned about the crush a couple days ago.
Nick had over heard the Martin brothers chatting quietly in catering as he passed by their table but froze when he heard your name leave the older Martin’s lips. He took a seat at the nearest table within earshot, eavesdropping on the conversation. His initial reason was to make sure that the young boys weren’t bad mouthing you because no one bad mouthed Nick Jackson’s wife without confrontation.
The more Nick listened the more he put the hushed whispers together — Darius Martin had a crush on you. Nick felt a few different emotions run through him — pride, anger, and jealousy.
Nick knew it was silly to let Darius’s little crush get him all worked up but he couldn’t help it. Nick was very protective of you and even though you married him and live the happiest life possible together, he still got jealous when guys would look at you a little too long or attempt to flirt with you despite you always telling the guy that you were happily married.
Darius decided against making his presence known to the pair of you and slinked away back to the locker room to prep for his match.
As the show started, you had people running in and out of your station for various reasons.
Currently you were making quick work of sowing up a rip on the bottom of Britt Baker’s pants. You listened as Britt, Rebel, and Jamie talked about their upcoming segment that would take place out in the ring.
Once the trio left, you were all alone so you decided to do some more work on some designs. You figured that since you had Top Flight’s design ready to go that you would work on something new for Hook.
As you got to work you soon realized some of the things you needed had gotten put on the top shelf next to the small table you were working at. You sighed and got up, taking the four steps to the shelves on the wall. You looked up and sure enough, there it was — the box you needed containing an assortment of materials necessary for your project.
You stood on your tip toes, stretching to reach the box on the top shelf in the room that the wardrobe department was set up in. You didn’t know who put that box up there but you were internally cursing them. You could just barely get your fingertips on it. Looking around you spotted a chair, one without wheels on the bottom. You crossed the short distance of the room to grab the chair, once you had it where you needed you climbed up and started to grab the box when the door opened. “Hey wait! Let me get it for you.” You heard the familiar voice of Darius Martin, his footsteps grew louder as he got closer to you. He offered you his hand and helped you down off the chair.
“Thanks Darius.” You were grateful he showed up when he did, turns out that box was heavier than you had thought by the sound the box made when Darius sat it down on the nearby table. “Thanks again. I’m not sure what I would have done when I found out the box was that heavy.” You state.
“It’s no problem. I’m always happy to help you.” Darius spoke, looking everywhere but at you in a desperate attempt to hide the fact that you made him feel nervous, plus he could feel the heat rush upon his cheeks.
You noticed how Darius didn't look you in the eye and you remembered how earlier he seemed off in his own little world. You’ve never really worked with him too much before the last four months, so you weren’t sure if this was just how he was or if something was going on. It couldn’t hurt to ask.
You opened your mouth to speak but before you could, Nick swiftly entered the room. Nick kept a watchful eye on Darius as he made his way to you, wrapping his arms around you and kissing your forehead. When Nick moved back just a little you saw Darius’s expression, a crestfallen look on his face. You were trying to put the pieces together about Darius’s behavior but at the moment you were confused.
“You’ll come watch me tonight right? I can’t win without my lucky charm.” Nick grinned at you accompanied by a wink. You couldn’t help but smile at his little flirty ways.
“Of course I’ll be there, but first I have some work I need to get done.” You informed him, gesturing to the table of your scattered papers and the box Darius helped retrieve for you moments ago.
“Can’t you do that later baby? I miss you.” Nick pouts in attempts to guilt trip you.
You shake your head and usher him out of the room. As you do so, Nick grabbed Darius’s arm and pulled him out the door with him. You noticed what Nick had done but didn’t think too much of it.
Once outside in the hallway, Nick kept his hand on Darius’s arm as he spoke to the young man. “I know about your little crush on my wife.” Nick watched as the color drained from Darius’s face.
The oldest Martin was in shock. How did he know? He was sure he never said anything about it when others were around. He could have sworn Dante was the only one that knew. He tried thinking back to all times recently talked about you to his brother and that’s when it hit him — that day in catering a couple days ago. Darius realized he and his brother must not have seen Nick walking past them and overhearing the conversation. “Oh, shit.”
“Oh, shit is right. Look, you’re a good kid and what I heard you say about her wasn’t disrespectful so I’ll go easy on you tonight.” Nick spoke in low, serious tone.
Darius gulped and nodded, he hadn’t seen Nick this serious before and he didn’t want to see it again. “I- I just-” Darius paused, collecting his thoughts before speaking again. “I feel terrible about having a crush on a married woman. I swear I would never do anything to ruin anyone’s marriage.” Darius looked Nick in the eyes, sincerity written on the young man’s face.
Nick looked the older Martin’s face over, no trace of deceit was found. Nick nodded, satisfied with the answer. “Just know if I catch you thinking anything bad or inappropriate about my wife, I’ll do more than confront you.” Darius knew what Nick was implying and nodded, quickly turning and heading towards catering.
You had spent majority of the show in wardrobe working on your designs for new merch shirts as well as piecing together outfits for upcoming interviews and segments up until you heard a soft knock on the door. “It’s almost time for my match sweetheart. You said you’d be there to watch.” Your husband reminds you as he makes his way across the room and over to you.
He knows how you can get caught up on creating different things and forget what you had to do later or forget to eat or drink until he comes along to remind you, bringing you some water and a snack. You were always appreciative and grateful to have Nick looking out for you, especially when you got zoned in to your work.
“Oh, shit. You’re right. Just let me finish this—” You felt your husbands strong yet gentle hands wrap around your wrists to stop you. You obeyed his silent command and dropped your pen and materials on the table, letting Nick gently pull you up and away from the table.
You noticed he was dressed in his gear, no doubt about to head to the stage entrance with Matt, Kenny, and Brandon. Speaking of, you didn’t see or hear them. “Come on. Let’s get you to the best seat in the house.”
You gave Nick a questioning look, eyebrow raised in confusion. “I thought I was going to watch on the monitor like usual?”
“Yeah, but I had a better idea — you get a front row seat. Security will escort you out there.” Nick pressed his lips to your temple and slipped his hand in yours. “We better get going.”
Like Nick said, security escorted you to your front row seat. From there, you watched the current match come to a close and soon after Top Flight and AR Fox made their entrance. You cheered for the trio, they were your friends after all. You saw the look of shock mixed with confusion on Darius’s face as he spotted you amongst the front row crowd. You gave him a friendly wave as passed by to slip into the ring. So many questions ran through the young man’s head. What’s going on? Was Nick planning something by having you out here? Is this some kind of mind game?
As soon as the lights went down and Carry On, Wayward Son blared through the speakers around the arena, you jumped up out of your chair, cheering loudly for not just your husband but your brother-in-law and best friends. The Elite did their pose at the top of the stage as Brandon hyped them up. Once they made their way down to the ring, Nick stopped in front of you to place a big smooch on your lips after making sure Darius was looking.
The match began and you cheered for all of them, but clearly the loudest for Nick. You couldn’t help but observe Nick being a little harsher on Darius, you thought that maybe Nick just didn’t realize how rough he was being, it didn’t look like Darius was hurt so you let it slide.
At one point when the pace and urgency had picked up, Nick had thrown Darius over the ropes and onto the floor in front of you. Nick launched himself over the top rope, diving onto Darius and popping up full of adrenaline. Nick quickly and swiftly kissed your cheek before going back to work on Darius while Kenny had AR Fox in the ring and Matt dove onto Dante on the opposite side of the ring form you.
It wasn’t long after that until Kenny pinned AR Fox, thus The Elite retaining their trios titles. You cheered, beyond proud of those men and thrilled with their performance.
Kenny closed the show out with a little speech like he sometimes does and in the meantime, Nick had passed his title over to Matt as Nick exited the ring, stopping in front of you once more. He leaned over the barricade to make sure you could hear him over Kenny and the crowd. “Wanna come up there with me?”
You felt like a fangirl that had been singled out by her favorite celebrity. You always found it sweet that despite after all these years, Nick could still make you feel like a teenager with the butterflies you felt in your stomach.
You nodded, grinning from ear to ear. That’s all Nick needed before effortlessly lifting you over the barricade and helping you into the ring, parting the ropes for you. Nick was always such a sweet gentleman — well, until he was having his way with you.
When the show was officially over, you followed behind The Elite with Brandon until Nick fell in step with you and slung his arm over your shoulders. He was obviously sweaty but honestly you didn’t mind because that meant shower time with your husband.
After gathering up your belongings, you headed to catering for a snack and some water before heading to the hotel. It was surprisingly quiet in catering, only you and some of the arena’s staff. As you picked out your snack, you heard footsteps as someone entered the room.
You looked up seeing Darius standing in the doorway with his hands in his pockets and his eyes on the floor. “Hey Darius!” You beamed, you always enjoyed his company. “You did great out there! Don’t tell the guys, but I think if you, Dante, and AR keep at it, those trios belts could be going home with you one day.” You said, half teasing and half being honest.
Darius forced a smile at your words, just another thing he liked about you. “Thanks.” He took a deep breathe which grabbed your attention. You stopped filling your plate with fruit and turned to face the young man, giving him your full attention. “I need to tell you something.” He finally spoke before he lost the courage.
You nodded, gesturing for him to continue. You could tell this was weighing on his mind and he needed to say it before it ate him up.
“I— I have a crush on you.” Darius couldn’t look at you when he confessed, too embarrassed and ashamed of himself for having a crush on a married woman. “I promise I wont try to ruin what you and Nick have. I just had to tell you, it’s been going on for a couple of months. I thought it would go away but no such luck.” He hung his head in shame and guilt.
“Hey, don’t feel bad about it. It might sound weird but I’m actually flattered. I’ve gotten a good idea over the past several months of what kind of man you are and I know you wouldn’t do anything intentionally. It can stay between us if that makes you feel any better.” You offered, remembering how you felt having been in similar shoes as Darius.
“I already know.” You both jumped at hearing Nick’s voice. Nick had come looking for you when you took longer than usual to grab a snack and water. He had slipped in when Darius was confessing his crush on you.
You looked between the two men, processing and putting the pieces together.
That’s when everything clicked. Nick’s reaction when you mentioned Darius’s name earlier, Darius’s behavior when you showed him and Dante this shirt design, the way Nick would always kiss you whenever Darius was around, the way Darius got shy when helped you with that box earlier, why Nick wanted you to sit front row for the trios match.
“Oh. Well, then I suppose we’re all good?” You questioned the two men. You didn’t want any tension between them, especially because if you.
“Yeah, we’re good, right?” Darius looked a Nick a little unsure given that Nick didn’t go as easy on him as said he would, but then again maybe he did, he wasn’t sure.
Nick nodded. “Yeah, we’re good man. Just remember what I said earlier.” Nick warns, referring to their conversation in the hallway prior to their match.
You were confused on what this conversation was about and you were going ask Nick later. You didn’t like the idea of Nick threatening the poor boy.
“I’ll never forget it, trust me.” Darius grabbed a water and headed out the door.
“Alright spill. This conversation you two had, you didn’t threaten him did you?” You asked, turning to your husband with a hand on your hip. You knew how protective Nick was, and you remembered a couple fights he got into because of a comment that was made about you, despite your protests and wanting him to let it go.
“Oh, come on sweetheart, do you really think I’d threaten him?” Nick asked, eyebrow raised and pretending to be clueless.
“Absolutely. But you know what, as long as you let him be, I’ll let it slide.” You lean up and peck his lips before stepping back and picking up your plate of fruit and water. “I’m ready to go to bed.”
“It’ll be a minute before that happens.” Nick tells you with a mischievous look in his eye causing you to give him a look. “I may or may not have stolen one of Matt’s shoes.” He grins, lifting up Matt’s shoe from behind his back.
You both laugh and take a seat at the nearest table. You knew this would last for at least an hour before Nick returned Matt’s shoe.
“I love you, babe. Don’t ever change.” You chuckled, reaching over and feeding him a piece of fruit.
“I love you way more, sweetheart.” The love and admiration was evident in his eyes as he leaned over the table for a one more kiss.
General Taglist: @legit9thlunaticwarrior @plentyoffandoms @1dluver13xx @sunshinevirus @wwenhlimagines @crowleysqueenofhell @jackson-nickthedate13
Nick Jackson Taglist: @mrsmatt @abbyjacksonnn @breezyvk @rubyred1980
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middlingmay · 2 months
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WIP Wednesday
Thanks @amiserableseriesofevents @ranger-elizabeth @joeyalohadream and @rambleonwaywardson for the tag.
And I know it's Thursday, but let's just ignore that...
Rules: post a snippet from one of your current WIPs and pass on the love by tagging other writers.
A snippet from chapter four of That Ol' Devil Called Love since it's consumed me entirely. And I wanted to share a larger snippet of Ken's encounter with a rival crew. Enjoy!
Bucky saw the moment BB twitched in Kenny’s direction and used years of swinging bats and pitching baseballs and tearing into trouble much bigger than him, to catch BB in the kisser until he felt the outline of teeth. BB nearly got lucky, to his credit, taking a swing at Bucky’s throat. But Bucky clocked it and shoved him hard, gave him a boot up the ass that hit tailbone. BB almost landed on his face, would have, if a bruised and bloody George hadn't caught him. He spat out a glob of blood and looked up to see the 100th in a protective ring around a grinning and bright-eyed Ken on the ground. “I told ya,” Ken panted through the legs of his guard dogs, “to get the hell out of here. The fuck outta my sight! Get!” With a nasty look that had Bucky shifting his leg to better hide Kenny from view, BB and the Sixes finally obeyed. Except Ham. He and Crank held each other up, and when Ham went to follow after them, Crank pulled him back with a sharp noise and gripping hands. But Ham peeled him off. “Charlie. Let go. I gotta. It’ll be worse if I don’t. I know what I’m doing—let go.” He had to yank his sleeve out of Crank's grip to catch the cars peeling away and jumped into a open, waiting door.
I know loads of people have been tagged, and no pressure to play along either, but tagging @donotnomi @caustinen. And I don't know if you fic, but @crowthis too, if you had any artwork WIPS you want to share :).
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entomologistologist · 9 months
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south park kids' college/hs drug use theories/headcanons:
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Kyle: would smoke weed, would experiment widely with other drugs but ultimately quits it all when he decides it's time to grow up and be a real adult. if you think he's too uptight to experiment that broadly with drugs, then I invite you to recall that everyone getting high on cough syrup that one time was HIS idea, and also the time when he accepted acid from the san franciscan kids.
Stan: would not smoke weed bc he doesn't want to be anything like his dad (don't take this headcanon from me; it's my favorite). Would experiment with other drugs but he probably shouldn't since we all know he has addictive tendencies. He already has enough problems with alcohol and I think he's smart enough to avoid going in too deep with drugs on top of that. I think struggling with alcoholism is pretty much his destiny at this point (although he'll beat it!) so he has enough to deal with.
Kenny: you already know he'll do every drug and also several things that weren't previously believed to be drugs. And then I headcanon that he will have major problems getting off them because he knows he can't die (or rather stay dead) from an overdose, and it gets so bad that all his friends are worried sick about him, but maybe Kenny secretly WANTS them all to be worried sick about him to compensate for all the deaths they forgot. what then? what then??? (Kenny's parents are Not worried because they know about the death curse but Carol is pretty pissed that she has to keep rebirthing him after reckless deaths. She's getting too old for this, rip.)
Cartman: okay you gotta hear me out on this one. what if Cartman...... doesn't like drugs. He's not a dweeb so he'd experiment a little with them with his friends but what if, like... that's it. Okay, so this is a little unintuitive because Cartman is unhealthy, self-indulgent, self-sabotaging, etc., but my rationale for this radical fresh take is: 1. He associates drugs with groups of people he looks down on: hippies, poor people, lazy people, minorities in general. 2. He comes from a family of addicts, which he has low awareness of currently but when he's older he's eventually gonna realize how that screwed them over and will want to be better than them. (Liane was canonically a high-functioning crack addict although she apparently quit sometime between seasons, Cartman's uncle is in prison for some reason, and Cartman's grandma left him all her money because she said everyone other than him would spend it all on crack).
Butters: Not much to say for him; he's susceptible to peer-pressure so he would probably try some stuff but I don't think he'd be very into it.
Conclusion: they're the south park boys, of course all of them are at least going to try drugs (especially since... they all already have). what did you expect. my three girlfriends yes they smoke weed etc
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drownedinlavender · 1 year
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Helloooo, so I'm writing a long kyman fic. It's gonna be a slow burn multi-chapter one. I got like a good 1/3 of it down with like a skeleton of events mapped out. Since I haven't been active in any fandom or like written fanfic since I was a teen, I wanted to post an excerpt to kinda test the waters a bit haha I'm kinda shy about sharing stuff but was greatly inspired by a lot of people's work.
Anyway, the premise is Cartman impulsively taking the fall on something and being admitted to inpatient cause of it. This excerpt is when he facetimes the gang to tell them about it. Stan and Kenny are at school during lunch, Kyle's at the hospital (has to do with what Cartman took the blame for), and Eric's at home about to leave.
I'd greatly appreciate any criticism or input! Thank u for ur time 💜💖 ^^)/
"Dude, a psych ward? That sounds pretty serious," Stan looks mildly concerned.
"It is serious, Stan. That's why Kyle's gonna owe me big time when I get back," Eric smuggly declares, "Like sucking my balls big big time."
Kenny sneakers at the brunette still obsessing over a bet they made years ago when they were just kids.
"Man, you gotta lay off the balls thing, Cartman. That's hella gay," Stan drily informs while munching on a fry.
"Hey! It's not gay! It's about humiliation and having power over an individual," Eric offendedly denies, choosing to die on that hill.
Kyle, who has been absolutely seething in the background, finally bursts, "Fuck you, Cartman! I didn't ask you to cover for me, you did that all on your own!"
Eric scoffs, "Okay, fine, Kahl, would you prefer me going to PC principal and telling him I take it all back. That he should take you off the team like he wanted? Is that what you want, Kahl?"
Kyle tenses his jaw muscles as he grinds his teeth. Of course that's not what he wants but is Cartman holding one over his head any better? His eyes flicker to the side as he contemplates for a brief moment. Stan continues eating, staring at his screen waiting for his best friend to speak as if he's watching an enthralling reality tv show. Once Kenny's giggling fit finally subsides, he lays his head on one outstretched arm and sneaks a French fry from whoever's lunch tray is right across from him.
"Fine," Kyle bitterly concedes with a sigh, "but I'm not helping you do anything illegal like murder or whatever. And I'm definitely not sucking your balls," he points at Cartman through the screen.
"Oh…" a small voice utters in surprise across the room from Kyle. The redhead looks up at a shocked nurse half way through the door. "I-I'll come back in a second to check your vitals," she embarrassedly scurries out of the room.
Kyle's mortified face soon matches his hair. "God, damn it, Cartman!"
Kenny practically dies of laughter, not even bothering to hold his phone up right anymore.
"Dude," Stan snorts before cracking up as well.
Kyle hides his face with one hand, trying with every fiber of his being to maintain any ounce of composure he can muster before combusting from rage.
Eric's amused smile warps into a shit eating grin, he absolutely could not be any more delighted by the current turn of events. He obnoxiously clears his throat before continuing, "Very well, I'll leave a legally binding contract in your room before departing, Kahl. Now Kenny," he seamlessly changes the topic.
Kenny straightens himself out the best he can. "Uh-huh?" He responds through tears.
"Wait a second, fatass, do NOT break into my room!" Kyle protests.
Eric purposely ignores his rival, knowing it'll anger him further. "Kenny, my mom says you can use your spare key to clear out my fridge whenever. She's gonna stay up in Denver with some cousin until I'm out. We don't want the food rotting up and stinking up the place so do it sooner rather than later, got it?"
"Seriously, dude?!" Kenny immediately straightens himself out in elated surprise. Woohoo!" He cheers. He knows their fridge is always packed so he and his little sister are definitely set for bit.
"Knock yourself out, dude, just don't let anything rot in there. Seriously, I'll kick your ass if I come back and my house reeks like spoiled ass."
"You got it, bro," Kenny assures with a thumbs up.
"Don't ignore me, asshole!" Kyle's demands only serve to further Cartman's amusement.
"Welp, gotta go pack up some essentials. Don't know how long I'll have to be admitted … but it's all worth it for my dear friend Kahl's sake," Eric fakes sincerity. With a hand over his heart, he winks at Kyle.
"Oh, Fuck off," Kyle rolls his eyes.
"Well, good luck, dude. Don't blow up the place trying to escape," Stan waves goodbye from his screen.
"Guys, wanna say bye to Cartman? He's gonna go do some time at a loony bin," Kenny asks, reversing his camera to show the rest of their lunch table.
"We heard. You guys are super loud," Craig complains before biting his burger.
"Hey! Don't call it a loony bin, asswipe! That's totally insensitive to people with mental health issues. Not cool dude," Cartman condescendingly lectures, doing what he does best, playing the victim.
"Cartman's getting admitted? Dude, that's crazy!" Tweek comments.
"Wait, who's getting what now?" Clyde looks up from his phone, unaware of the conversation going on around him.
"Cartman, dude, he got in trouble again so PC principal's sending him to a psych ward," Tweek rapidly explains.
"Oh," Clyde responds in his usual nasally tone.
"All in order to save Kyle from getting kicked off the team," Cartman adds.
"Don't act like you did it from the kindness of your heart, fatass!" Kyle quickly corrects.
"First it's Cartman, then they'll be coming for the rest of us!" The jittery blond panics.
Craig pats his boyfriend's shoulder. "No they won't, honey, we don't cause the town to blow up every other month like they do."
"Hey!" Kyle indignantly exclaims.
"We haven't been directly responsible for the town's destruction for like," Stan counts the time in his head, "at least a year now!" He defends himself and his friends, receiving a middle finger from an unimpressed Craig.
"L-l-later, Eric, don't dr-dro-dr-dro-drop the soap," Jimmy jokes before offering up his signature smile.
"Jim, that's for jail," Tolkien corrects.
"Aw, we'll miss you, Eric! Don't take too long in the psych ward!" Butters gleefully shouts.
Kyle rolls his eyes, feeling himself getting more and more irritated by the situation at hand. "Oh, for Pete's sake, it's not like he's dying, you guys." The longer these farewells are dragging on, the more he can feel a twinge of guilt spreading throughout his subconscious and twisting up his guts.
"Poopsikins, mommy can't find Mr. Kitty's carrier, do you remember where we left it?" Liane can be heard calling from the background.
"Just a second, meeem!" Eric hollers off camera before getting back in frame and sticking out his tongue with a peace sign, "Later, losers ~ " he sings-songs and hangs up.
"You know …. For someone being sent off to an insane asylum, he seems really unbothered by it," Tolkien points out.
Kyle's eyes flicker down for just a second before choosing to quickly dismiss further analyzing Cartman's reaction to being sent away. "Well, yeah, it's Cartman. Do you really expect him to react normally about anything?"
"That's true," Tolkien immediately agrees, chalking it up to Cartman just being Cartman.
For a brief moment, Kyle remembers the time he was admitted when the town wouldn't believe him about Mr. Hankey but before he can even decide on entertaining that thought, Stan speaks.
"Wow … so he's really leaving, huh?" Stan says more than asks, looking a bit absent minded.
"I guess so," Kenny pensively looks down at the lunch table, head resting on crossed arms. He turns to Stan and forlornly admits, "dude … I'm actually feeling kinda bummed out."
Kyle bites the inside of his cheek. The reality of their current predicament further sinking in.
"Aw, Ken," Stan frowns and pats Kenny's shoulder.
"It's okay, Ken," Butters comforts, patting Kenny's back, "he said so himself, he probably won't be there for long."
"Isn't this a good thing though? Things are going to be a lot more peaceful while he's gone," Tolkien suggests.
"If Cartman gets admitted for the rest of the school year, I'll be sooooo happy," Craig chants in a monotone.
A sniffle directs everyone's focus towards Clyde.
"Clyde, you okay, buddy?" Craig puts down his lunch to fully focus on his friend's concerns.
"We *sniff* were starting to *sniff* get along more *sniff* this year," he powers through a closing throat.
Kyle bites his cheek even harder. Cartman was certainly a lot tamer as of late. Things were finally getting comfortable between the two of them, too.
"He was being a lot c-coo-c-coo-cooler this y-year," Jimmy admits.
The nurse knocks before entering Kyle's room this time. "I'm going to take your vitals again, okay?" She smiles.
"Yeah, sure," Kyle replies before addressing his friends, "I gotta go guys. Stan, can you come pick up my keys and move my car before my parents get back? I have a minor concussion so I'm under observation for a bit."
"Yeah, dude, totally," Stan confirms.
"Later," Kenny mumbles, waving with one hand, his face fully immersed in his crossed arms.
"Alright, thanks, see you guys later," Kyle says his goodbyes, queuing the nurse to begin taking his blood pressure.
Kyle barely moves, too busy contemplating Eric's departure. First, Stan moves and now Cartman's going to be gone for God knows how long? He bitterly sighs.
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lost-walmartbag · 1 year
Text
Kenny x reader pt 2
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Song: Dark Paradise - Lana Del Rey
Warning: Swearing, violence, toxic relationship, mild sexual content
Background: You go to a party to get your mind off Kenny but he doesn't let that happen.
Status: Ongoing
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'Jealousy'
After your fight with Kenny, you were avoiding him harder than the plague. Kenny didn't stop trying to talk to you but you would just brush him off. The minute he would enter a room you would stand up and leave. It was a bit awkward for the people around you but lucky it didn't happen often.
"Look Y/N maybe it's a good thing," Wendy said closing her locker and facing you as you leaned on the locker next to hers.
"I guess but I just can't get it all out of my head." You mutter taking a sip of your water.
"How about you go to Clyde's party tonight? It's gonna be small but maybe you can find someone to get your mind off of 'he who shall not be named.'" She said starting to walk away from the lockers.
"I guess got nothing better to do." You say following her.
As you and Wendy walked away Kenny who was in earshot but out of sight frowned to himself. He hated the thought of you with someone else it made his blood boil. He had to make sure it didn't happen. He walked to his group of friends in the lunch room and sat down interrupting the conversation they were in the middle of.
"Party at Clyde's tonight invite everyone you can." He said pulling out a small flask from his parka and taking a swig.
"Woah, really? I thought that was supposed to be a small thing?" Stan asked.
"Yeah half of us weren't even invited," Kyle said
"Well, I'm inviting you. So be there tonight and bring everyone you fucking can." He said with a frown putting his flask away.
"Is this about Y/N dude?" Stan asked.
"You really need to get over her dude," Cartman said leaning back.
"I didn't ask for a fucking therapy session be there and bring everyone." He barked back standing up from his seat and leaving the room in a huff.
Kyle frowned turning to Stan and Cartman. "Dude we can't just let him be like that forever."
"I mean what are we supposed to do? Dude wants to talk to her maybe if they do it'll stop." Stan says.
"Man who cares free booze, girls, and all we gotta do is show up. I could care less about Kenny's bitch." Cartman spat out.
Kyle frowned and looked down at his phone. He wanted to help Kenny out of this slump he was in. Everyone knew you didn't want to talk to Kenny so maybe this party was the best idea. If not he'd have to get involved to make sure Kenny can handle the situation without drinking himself to death.
Later that night you got ready slipping into a short simple black dress and a jacket. You looked at yourself in the mirror you felt like it may have been too much but maybe that was a good thing? You were going to the party to find someone to get over Kenny so maybe this was best.
You hear a honk outside and quickly sip on your shoes as you head out. You step outside seeing Wendy and Bebe in Wendy's car. Wendy was wearing a simple outfit while Bebe had on a similarly revealing outfit as you did. You slip into the back seat pulling your dress down a bit to cover yourself.
"God if I knew were dressing hot tonight I would have gone with something different," Wendy said with a frown as she drove towards Clyde's house.
"We really need to start a group chat," Bebe said with a sigh kicking her feet on the dashboard.
"Well, I'm on the hunt for a man tonight." You say with a laugh making the other girls laugh along with you as Wendy turns the block seeing a bunch of cars and people outside Clyde's house.
"Woah Bebe I thought you said this was a small party," Wendy said as she desperately tried to find parking.
"It was supposed to be. He only invited like 20 people. God, there's like people here from like different towns," Bebe said in shock looking around.
Wendy finds a spot close enough and you all get out. You look around seeing people drinking and smoking outside.
"You guys go in I'll catch up later," Wendy said after spotting Stan.
You nod and you and Bebe go inside. Clyde quickly walks up to you both he had a drink in his hand and a smile that made it clear he had a few drinks already.
"Babe what's up you said the party was gonna be small," Bebe said holding onto his arm.
"It was supposed to be but then all these people started showing up I don't know where they even heard about it, but they brought their own drinks so it's not too bad," Clyde said with a chuckle. "Let's go get you a drink babe."
"Yeah um I'll catch you later Y/N," Bebe said leaving before you could say anything.
You stood there for a few just trying to figure out what to do. You couldn't even recognize most of the people around you. You walk to the living room seeing a few people making out on the couch, people drinking, others dancing and playing games. You look around desperately trying to find someone you knew. You saw Butters awkwardly standing around with a drink in his hands and walk up to him quickly.
"Hey Butters," You say standing next to him.
"Hey Y/N. God, it is so crowded in here." He muttered taking a sip of his drink.
"Yeah, I wonder where these people even heard about this." You say grabbing your own drink from the counter.
"Well I heard from Eric he said to invite as many people as I could." He explained.
"How the fuck did Cartman find out Clyde made sure not to tell him." You say with a laugh taking a sip of your drink.
The taste was horrible. You weren't much of a drinker it just never interested you.
"He said Kenny told them to invite everyone." Butters said making you choke on your drink.
"Kenny's here?" You say with a cough panicking a bit.
"Yeah I think he was in the back or upstairs I can't remember." Butters said looking away from you and focusing on a girl who was eyeing him from across the room.
"Go get laid, Butters." You say patting his shoulder. You finished your drink and then took a shot before you grabbed another full drink and walked away to another room.
A million thoughts were running through your head and none of them really seemed comprehendible. Kenny was here? Where was he? Did he do this to try to talk to you? You didn't know what to do and that may have been why you weren't paying attention and bumped into another person causing your drink to spill on you and the other person.
"Oh my god, I'm so sorry." You say backing away a bit. The man looks down at you and smirks.
"It's fine don't worry about it." He said getting a bit closer to you. "Where are you of to in such a rush?"
Kenny watched the interaction from upstairs just staring at you two as he sipped his drink. The man was tall but not as tall as him. Kenny just thought about how he could take him as he moved closer to you.
"Just found out my ex is here and I don't know I don't want to bump into him." You say to the man who seemed clearly interested in you.
Kenny couldn't hear what you were saying over the loud music and people talking. He just kept watching in silence just watching as this man was moving closer and closer. He was gripping his beer can so tightly that it started to crumble.
"Could it possibly be the dude who is glaring at me from upstairs?" The man asked with a chuckle.
You looked upstairs and sure enough, you saw Kenny leaning against the rail watching the two of you as he dropped his empty beer can on the floor and opened a new one. He sipped his drink looking at you in the eyes and even from far away you could see the unhappy expression on his face as he drank. You turned back to the man and groaned.
"Yeah, that's Kenny." You mutter crossing your arms.
"You could definitely do better. How about we have fun with this." The man said snaking his arm around your waist. You thought for a second and nodded. Maybe it was the fact that you were a lightweight and had enough alcohol to make some questionable choices, but it didn't sound like a bad idea in that moment.
"Why not?" You said with a laugh that made Kenny take a deep breath to stop himself from going down there and killing the man that dared put their hands on his girl.
The man moved you into a small open space in clear view for Kenny. He holds onto your hips going behind you so you were facing Kenny. He smirked as you started swaying your hips grinding against him. He took one of his hands off your hip and moved it onto your stomach slowly moving it upward.
Keny felt his blood boil it was like he would explode right then and there. He takes a big swig of his beer and throws it on the floor before jumping over the rail rather than taking the stairs that had people blocking them. He didn't want to waste time seeing that man getting closer to touching your breast made him crazy. He landed on the floor feet first only having to bend his knees so he didn't hurt himself.
He rushed up and grabbed you pulling you away from the man. People stared as Kenny pulled you by the wrist away. He turned back to the man who had a smug smile.
"Stay away from her," Kenny growled.
"I mean it looks like she was having fun. Maybe I can give her something you weren't Kenny~" He said with a smirk and looking over his shoulder seeing you just standing there in shock.
Kenny lets go of your wrist and swiftly punches the man in the face making him stumble back and his nose gush with blood. A few people rush to the man's side to make sure he was ok. Kenny turned back to you and grabbed you throwing you over his shoulder and making his way upstairs.
People immediately moved out of his way making it easy for him to go upstairs. He stops when he's on top of the stairs and turns to face the quiet crowd.
"If any other fucking dumbass even so much as fucking looks at my girl I'll make sure you end up worst than him," Kenny stated loudly before walking into an empty room.
You were protesting the entire time but your angry words went unheard. Kenny finally placed you down once he finally had the door closed.
"You fucking asshole!" You yelled at him as he stared down at you without saying a word. "I'm not your girl you fucking cheating whore!"
You punch his chest with your fist which didn't faze him in the slightest. You just continued screaming and spouting out whatever you could think of in your angry state. Once you had calmed down enough to stop your screaming and your punches became softer.
"Your mine Y/N and I don't fucking appreciate you grinding on another man in the dress that I fucking bought you." He said putting his arm around your waist and pulling you into him as he tugged your dress down to cover you more.
It was clear he was angry and annoyed but his face wouldn't let him show it. You put on an angry expression and tried pulling away from him.
"You don't like the idea of the person you love being with someone else?" You said sarcastically.
He growled and pulled you tighter. "For the last fucking time I didn't cheat on you! Why the fuck do you trust some whore?"
"Which one? The one in your phone or the one in front of me." You spat out pushing him away finally escaping his grasp you take a step back and slap him.
He seemed shocked and touched his cheek but laughed it off. Only making you more angry its like he didn't take it seriously. "Only one? Come on show me how fucking angry you are!"
You growled and tried pushing him out of the way of the door. He grabbed our chin and made you look up at him and crashed his lips against yours. You were both clearly drunk and it was making you both angry and needy. For a second you completely forget how mad you were and kiss back roughly pulling him into you.
He roughly grabs your ass and puts one of your legs on his waist as he leaned into you. You hastily take off your jacket throwing it on the floor and Kenny lifts you off from the floor completely moving towards the bed in the room. You wanted nothing more than him at this moment. You felt like an animal just acting on instinct.
Kenny was no different he had just gone from arguing with you to throwing you on a random person's bed and taking his shirt off. It was dysfunctional, toxic, disgusting but you both wanted more. You stared up at Kenny breathing heavily from the kiss that lasted longer than you had breath for. Your eyes were practically begging for him to fuck you but before he could act on it you both heard yelling from downstairs.
Suddenly Kyle burst into the room not taking time to understand the scene in front of him. He was panicked and was speaking loud and fast.
"Cops dude we have to get the fuck out of here!" Kyle shouted.
Your eyes widened but before you could do anything Kenny picks you up and opens a window quickly jumping out of it with you in his arms. Kyle followed just in time as cops ran into the room. Kenny ran around and looped back to the front lawn and looked around spotting Wendy starting her car with Bebe and Butters in her car as well as Stan opening the back of his van letting random people pile in with Eric in the driver's seat.
Two cops started running towards you and without thinking Kenny ran to Wendy's car and threw you inside, but not getting in himself. Kyle ran to Stan's van just in time as they sped off with not less than 12 people in the back of it. The cops got closer and you looked at Kenny taking his hand to pull him in, but he couldn't. Wendy pressed on the gas and sped off as the cops handcuffed Kenny.
"Make sure she gets home safe!"
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A/N: Hey guys. I hope you liked this as much I liked writing it. I just want to say that I don't want it to seem that I am glorifying domestic abuse or toxic relationships. I swear I'm not and i don't mean to. If you're in that situation please seek help and I hope you recover and do well. Other than that there is a song that I was listening to on repeat as I was writing this and I feel like it kinda fits. So if you want to read this while listening to it press the link to it and bc ik not all of us use Spotify here is another link for youtube. With that being said hope you enjoyed reading. Thank you so much I love you all! 🩷🩷🩷
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