#but he’s also a giant baby when it comes to horror movies

[medblackcoffee]

Listen, I know it’s only September but in my heart it’s Halloween time so please enjoy dad!gojo forcing Megumi to dress up with him 😈

[smuthospital]

⭐️Degrees of lewdly: Eden⭐️

Premise: You're a spooky place youtube explorer, and you get lost in a big scary forest! Eden voorhees lol. Reader is fem. Enjoy!

Art by Minagami

Re-upload because tumblr took it down last time.

Content Warning: Non-con, kidnapping, tummy bulge, blood, Eden is Jason, Voorhees

Miners DNI

You've never really gone hiking before and it's proven itself to be a lot more difficult than you originally thought it would be. You like to explore places you've never been, spooky places. more for the thrill. you started filming it and posting your videos on youtube. You usually take some friends along, but all of your friends decided to be little babies this time since the place you're exploring is extra creepy this time. It's a large forest 20 miles away from your city. You borrowed your mom's car to get here. you always tell them you're at a friend's house because they'd kill you if they ever found out you're putting yourself in possibly harmful situations. This forest is known for creepy sightings, disappearances, ghosts, and lots of other things your viewers would love to watch. You've been to abandoned hospitals, cemeteries, tunnels, all that good stuff. You don't think you'll actually see anything, but you brought a can of pepper spray just in case.

The wind howls, making the trees dance above you. The shapes that were once branches in the day have turned into long gangly fingers that desperately reach for you and the bushes now house entities with red eyes and fangs that you imagine want to tear you to pieces! "Wow, guys. This might just be the scariest one yet, haha. There's probably some sort of scp in here with me haha!" You try to keep yourself company by talking to your soon-to-be viewers when you post this, but it's really just to keep you calm.

"I'm a bit lost. The trail kinda disappeared somewhere around here, I think. there's just so much long grass and it's more of a footpath than an actual trail." you complain as you try to spot any familiar landmarks. It's almost impossible. It might be easier in the day for sure, but the night masks everything. You step over decayed logs and large roots, feeling worry set in. What if you're really lost!? Your thoughts come to an abrupt stop when you hear a strange sound not too far from where you're standing. Your blood freezes as you feel a cold sweat coming on. Maybe...maybe it's a person? And maybe they can help you?..or..a monster!? No, (Y/n), this is no time to be silly! That could be a person willing to help you before you get yourself completely lost!

Little did you know you were already a mile deep, walking in the wrong direction.

“I heard a sound. It could be someone who could help me get back on track.” You whisper. You turn off your video camera's flash light and carefully make your way to where you heard the sound, being careful not to step on anything that could alert whatever it is of your presence. You don’t want to startle it, just in case it's an animal willing to protect its territory from invaders like yourself. The sound came from below you. There's a rocky slope leading down to a river. You get down on your knees and peer between the long grass. You can't make out much in the dim moonlight... until you spot a giant of a man dragging a sack through the shallow water. His size alone sends shivers down your spine. Even from where you're crouching, you could tell he would dwarf you the way a cat would to a mouse. You examine him a bit more.The sack is stained in a dark colour that is seeping through the fabric and into the water. You don't dare move a muscle or even breathe. You can't believe your eyes. This can't be real. Are you in a horror movie?

You make sure he disappears behind the tree line with the mysterious sack before letting out a breath. You didn't want to accidentally alert him of your presence in any shape or form. He was probably just a hunter. Yeah, he could have helped you, but he also could have added you to the wet sack and you were not risking that.

You stand up and turn around, ready to get as far away from here as possible, only to bump your nose into a tree. The collision causes you to drop your camera. That's strange. You don't remember walking around a tree to look over the cliff. You rub your nose in annoyance. Wait a minute... This tree didn't have rough bark like the rest of them...Your brain blanks out. You've been in denial this entire time, your brain working extra hard to rationalize what's happening. Before you is a large torso. You can't even see their shoulders from how close you're standing, just a wide, firm chest. You crane your neck up and it takes you a good three seconds before your brain registers that you're looking at the man from before..and he's wearing a mask!

He looks down at you with a focused gaze. You let out a short scream and try to run away, but being within arm's reach of the giant makes it too easy for him to simply reach out and grab the back of your top. He lifts you off your feet with one arm and brings you to his eye level. He cocks his head to the side, observing you slowly. He looks down at the camera you dropped and places his large boot on it, pressing down and crushing it. You start to hyperventilate. He's gonna chop you up and wear your skin, he's gonna keep you in a dark hole and shout "It rubs the lotion on its skin or else it gets the hose again!" You thrash in his iron grip, pushing at his large hand and sobbing untellable pleas for mercy, but your begging falls on deaf ears. "I-I'm sorry. I-I'll leave, I promise! Please let me go! I-I didn't mean to bother you, I'm sorry!" You cry. Your little struggle seems to have made your shirt ride up a bit, showcasing your supple flesh to his thirsty eyes. His eyes laser focus on your bare skin.

To your confusion, his hand reaches to caress your skin, feeling the smooth texture before slowly moving up. You wiggle more, scared of where this is going. His hand soon finds your breast and cups it before giving it a squeeze. He shudders. His breathing becomes heavier as he continues to mess with your body, his thumb rolling over your nipple. All you can do is whimper and wiggle in his hold. his hand begins sliding down and you scream. You suddenly remember you brought a can of pepper spray, whipping it out of your back pocket and pointing it at his face. Then as you were about to press down and unleash the fire juice, it was gone. In his hand that was previously molesting you lies the remains of your poor pepper spray, crushed and bubbling pathetically. He was so fast you hadn't even realized he snatched it. You just stare at him in horror. To your surprise, he's not even mad, too preoccupied with the need to explore your privates. You hold his wrist and look into his eyes. He looks back into yours as if telling you to stop. You hesitantly let go, and he nods as if to tell you that you've made the right decision. His hand cups your pussy through your jeans, pressing in a bit at the entrance. He seems eager.

He lifts you higher and uncomfortably sets you on his shoulder, his hand on your ass to keep you in place. You don't even bother struggling. You'll wait for an opportunity. If this man wanted you dead, you'd be dead. You don't want to provoke him. From your spot on his shoulder, You notice that he's got a hunting rifle strapped to his back along with a machete. He has an assortment of things attached to his hips among them being a hunting knife and bullet pocket. You shiver. One more off-putting thing that's just about forcing bile up your throat is that he's also covered in a dark wet liquid. You haven't noticed till now, but you haven't been breathing so his smell has now come to your attention. He smells strongly of iron. To that, you're not very surprised.

He starts marching down the hill you were previously watching him from. You have no idea how you saw him disappear through the treeline and he still managed to sneak up on you. He picks up the large stained sack where he left it in favor of locating his little spying mouse. It smells awful, the meaty smell assaulting your senses every second. It's been 15 minutes and an opportunity to escape has not shown itself. This is it. This is how you die. Your body will never be found. Maybe in a few years in a shallow grave by some hiker if you're lucky. This inhuman mass of muscle is going to cut you up and eat you. Maybe even skip cutting you up. He could probably eat you whole as pre-workout. He lifts his leg to step over a large log, his grip on your ass slightly loosening just enough for you to catch him off guard and slip off his shoulder. You grunt as you fall into the dirt and leaves behind him. You scramble up before the giant can scoop you up. You run in a random direction. You just needed to get away from him, getting out of the forest was a problem for later. You didn't even think about how fast he'd be. How could someone be so big and fast!? He took off after you and suddenly, he was on your ass. You've never felt such a primal fear as he chased you like a hungry animal.

A large hand grabs your shoulder and rips you backwards. You fall on your back and stare up at the man now on his knees in front of you, his body completely casting a shadow before yours. He gets down on his hands, caging you too the ground, his body inches above yours. You stare into the holes of his mask and into his rabid eyes. He leans in by your neck. You stop breathing once again, you think your heart stopped. You feel something large and hard pressing roughly into your crotch. You hear him take a deep breath and smell you..."Smells nice." His voice is deep and rough, but it sounds like he rarely uses it. You scream and begin to cry again, not being able to take it anymore. You fight him with all your might. He grabs your wrists with one hand. You hear him chuckle a bit before his hand comes up to cup your check. He suddenly squeezes it and twists your face around to get a better look at your features. He grinds his hips against yours, teasing you of what's to come. He roughly releases your face, before standing to his full height and dragging you up with him. He tosses you back over his shoulder, this time with an almost bone-crushing grip. “Name.” His tone is commanding. When you fail to answer right away, his fingers press into the area on your crotch. Threatening to rip right through. “(Y/n)! My name is (Y/n)!” He hums in response.

Hot tears run down your cheeks as he walks back over to where he left his murder mystery sack. He navigates through the forest as he knows it like the back of his hand until he comes upon a clearing where his home stands. A lonely wooden cabin. He drops the gooey meat bag on the ground. You cringe at the wet sound it makes on impact. You peer over at the sack to see a human hand flop out. Before you could react, he slams his hand over your mouth painfully. "Shut up." He waits for you to nod before removing his hand. He opens his front door and steps inside. It smells musty, like old wood and man smell. Not bad, but not amazing either. He walks up his stairs and sets you on a very large bed. You take a deep breath in, your stomach sore from being jabbed by his shoulder for the entirety of the long walk.

He doesn't let you get comfortable though. His hands are on you in an instant, grabbing your clothes and ripping them to shreds like tissue paper, you're naked before you could even hold any of your clothes together. Hungry eyes leer over you through his mask. You feel his hot breath fan you through the bottom of his mask. "S-stop it, please! Don't hurt me!" You beg. As if to mock your plea, his rough hand grips your plush thigh a little too close to your cunt and squeezes it tightly before shoving it against your chest, making room for himself between them.

He releases you for a moment, only to unzip his uncomfortably tight pants. You shut your eyes and look away, only to feel the soul-crushing weight of his cock slam against your lower stomach. You writhe underneath him, small sobs and hiccups coming from your mouth every few seconds. He pauses for a moment but ultimately decides to continue. You peer up between your wet palms and see him rubbing the tree trunk between his thighs while looking down at your pathetic form.

"W-wait! I-I'm not rea-" He grabs your thighs and forces you closer to him and lines his cock up with your entrance, he slides it up and down your folds, causing you to shudder. He doesn't care if you're ready or not. You shut your eyes as he presses forth. You scream in pain. It won't go in. You're too tight, he's too big and you're dry. The tip can't even get through. You whimper in pain. It burns. You need moisture. He lifts his mask a bit and you get a peek of his jaw. It's noticeably sharp and covered in stubble. You feel his saliva plap against your poor dry cunt before he puts his mask back into place. He tries to enter you again. You yelp. He gets a bit through before he can't anymore. He sighs. He was trying to be gentle. He didn't want to break you so quickly...

He grips your thighs tightly. You feel his nails dig in. You barely have time to register the pain before you feel like you're being ripped in two. He's forcing his way in. You immediately let out a scream and begin spazzing. He just continues until he reaches his base, more than snug against your insides. Drool leaks past the corner of your lip as you stare off into space. He breathes heavily and stares at the bulge he created in your lower stomach. He brushes his hand over it and watches as you whimper and twitch. He pulls his hips back and watches it disappear before ramming himself in again and seeing it jab through your insides. He chuckles.

You lay there, unable to do anything but feel what he's doing to you. You lift your arm and place it on his lower stomach, hoping to stop him that way. You feel his rock-hard abs through his shirt and push. "You're...adorable...fuck.. you're tight." He groans before he slams himself deep inside and you clench around him. He hisses and struggles to pull out halfway, your insides trying to pull him back in. He slams in again and presses himself as deeply as he can, firmly hugging your cervix with his cock. Your eyes cross as he thrusts in and out, keeping a proper pace. Moans spill from your lips along with jumbled-up words he can't make out, all of which sound like music to his ears.

He leans over you, forcing himself snugly against you again, his mask right next to your cheek. He groans as he feels you twitch around him. "Feel..so good... was worried you'd rip... you're only bleeding a little." You can hear the smug grin in his tone.

It feels so good. You're so ashamed, feeling good when you're being raped by a maniac. You clench your tear-filled eyes as he pounds into your aching cunt. The knot in your lower stomach bursts as you cum. He moans as you tighten around him. He stills for a second, just enjoying how you feel before he pounds into you like a feral beast. You're surprised your pelvis is holding up. He grips your waist tight and grunts as he empties his balls deep inside you. You can almost feel yourself getting pregnant. You feel too full. Your stomach bloats with cum. You feel hot and fuzzy. Your pussy is so very sore and your legs are numb. He pants above you. "I've been thinking of getting myself a little wife like you." He says as he slowly pulls his still throbbing cock out with a wet 'pop'. "You're a pretty little thing and you take my cock well. Be grateful I'm letting you live as my cock sleeve." He stands up, towering over your crumpled body once again. "My name is Eden. Your duties from now on are cooking, cleaning, mending my clothes and taking my seed. Do not make me repeat these orders. Object and I won't hesitate to remind you of your place. I was gentle this time." His giant cock is still dripping your juices. You can't stop looking at it. Ge takes notice and climbs over you before grabbing your head and forcing you close to his groin. "I see you love cock. Lick it clean then like a good wife. go on."

You look up at him and hesitate a bit too long. You see anger flash in his eyes and you quickly envelop his tip in your mouth. He groans as you lick your mixed juices off, going as deep as you can without choking. He moans and grabs the back of your head. He stares down at you with such intensity that you can feel him burning holes into you. You suddenly feel your throat being invaded and your nose pressing into his pubic hair, nose pressing into his crotch. He moves you back and forth, face fucking you. You struggle to breathe properly through your nose. You let out muffled whimpers and cries, sending vibrations through his cock. He grunts in pleasure before you feel a load of hot thick liquid being shot into your mouth and down your throat. You're so tired. He slowly pulls his cock back and laughs at your exhausted state. Your head flops back onto the bed, your jaw and lips so incredibly sore and raw feeling. "Good girl." He says before your sight fades to black. You explored a bit too much.

[balioc]

Thoughts on the Barbie Movie

Hoo boy. Here we go.

This is long. Spoilers abound.

I

The movie is not, in any normal sense, a Barbie movie (like this or this or this or whatever). It is not a story of Barbie doing the kinds of things that Barbie does in stories. It is an endlessly postmodern and self-referential movie about Barbie, which is to say, about the Barbie franchise and its role in culture. Which is, at least plausibly, an interesting thing for a movie to be.

You probably knew all that already. But it does give us a baseline of "this movie kind of had to be political and discourse-y, one way or another." Or even, to be more specific: "to some large extent this movie had to be about feminism, explicitly, if it was going to exist at all." How could you talk meaningfully about Barbie's role in culture without touching on that stuff?

II

The evaluative TLDR:

Barbie is very ambitious, and in many places very fun. It is also deeply confused, and fragmented, about what it's trying to say and do. Often it raises genuinely interested problems/scenarios and then totally fails to address them, or else addresses them in ways that are incoherent. The text knows that it's doing this, and on several occasions kind of apologizes for it; a couple of times it more or less looks into the camera and says "sorry, we're not going to deal with this properly;" but, well, that's not a substitute for dealing with things properly.

There is also a streak of genuine political nastiness running through the film, in a place where the story really cannot afford it. It...doesn't match up, tonally or thematically, with some of the surrounding material. I have no background at all in cinematic stratigraphy, but I would be fascinated to learn about Barbie's editorial history, because I have the vague sense that a more-cogent (and more-interesting) story got hacked apart and then Frankensteined together into something much cheaper and worse.

III

The opening sequence of the movie is wild. You've seen most of it -- or you can, if you haven't, and you want to -- because it is the film's first teaser trailer. Girls are playing listlessly with baby dolls; a giant Barbie appears like the monolith from 2001: A Space Odyssey; and then the girls enter a frenzy of destruction, bashing their baby dolls' heads against the ground.

I don't know whether I would have found it as disturbing as I did, if I didn't actually have a baby of my own. But speaking from the standpoint of a parent...yeah, wow, it's more viscerally horrific than most actual horror I've seen recently. The narration says some stuff about Barbie providing a new and more rewarding set of imagination games to play, but the visuals by themselves tell a message loud and clear, which is: Barbie will turn your daughters into infanticidal maenads. It wouldn't need any editing at all to be part of a shock-you-silly Reefer-Madness-y moral panic film.

Which is really good! And really interesting! It starts us off on an undeniable thematic note: there is something primal and powerful and very dangerous about Barbie.

IV

The very best part of the movie is probably the part that comes right after the opening, when we explore the movie's depiction of "Barbieland" by going through Barbie's Typical Day, before we get into any of the notional plot or metaphysics. It's joyful and charming in a consistent way. The gags are (mostly) great. The movie is in love with its base premise, and that love is palpable.

This sequence makes one thing very clear:

Barbie treats Ken like absolute dogshit. She is a bad girlfriend.

And it's taken seriously. I mean, it's played for laughs, almost everything in this movie is played for laughs, but...it's not mean-spirited, not here. It's not, like, "ha ha, Ken, what a contemptible loser." He's Pierrot, asking for very basic forms of affection and attention and respect, and getting the door slammed in his face over and over. It's honestly kind of heartbreaking.

That colors everything that comes later.

The movie doesn't forget this, or fail to acknowledge it. At the end, after everything, Barbie does apologize to Ken for her treatment of him. It's a halfhearted and supremely unsatisfying kind of apology, especially in context, but...it's there, in so many words! I'm not making it up! This thematic foundation was laid down, not-very-subtly, right at the beginning!

V

This movie, which is at least trying to be ambitious, is juggling a million themes. Many of them are dumb at their core, and have no real promise; many of them lack any kind of narrative synergy with the others. But there are at least two which, I believe, (a) are genuinely worthwhile individually and (b) work well together in a story.

One is: What does it mean to be a symbol rather than a person? To exist, not for your own sake, but for the sake of influencing the dreams and culture of entities that you don't know and can't really understand?

The other is: What is the proper ordering of the relationship between Barbie and Ken?

I've seen a number of Takes in which people say, essentially: Couldn't this have ended with the Barbies and the Kens just being decent to each other and treating each other like humans? Couldn't there have been equality and mutual respect, instead of the weird uncomfortable girlboss-supremacist stuff that we got? And I sympathize with that impulse tremendously, but the honest answer has to be: No. We cannot have simple equality and esteem between Barbie and Ken, not in a movie like this. That would be a lie. Because this is a movie about Barbie-as-symbol, and when you're looking at Barbie through that lens, it is true and unavoidable that Ken is an appendage and an afterthought. You can have toys for boys; you can have dolls for boys (even if you call them "action figures" or whatever); for that matter, you can have dolls of boys for girls, so that girls can tell stories centering on male characters; but that's not what Ken is, and never has been. There are no Ken stories, and no one particularly wants them. Ken exists to be Barbie's boyfriend.

(One of the most painful moments of the movie comes during the resolution wrapup. Ken wails to Barbie that he has no identity outside her. She says, basically, "you have to find one, because I'm leaving you." And he...acts like he's had an epiphany, and does a little silly celebration. But his "insight" is just literally "I'm Ken," there's absolutely nothing there, and of course it's the most hollow and awful thing in the world because he really does have no identity outside her.)

VI

The movie's metaphysics are not even slightly consistent. The nature of Barbieland, and the ways that it affects and is affected by the real world, are completely different in every scene. In large part because the film can't ever pass up a gag, whether or not it's funny, no matter how much damage it does to the narrative and the theming overall.

The worst part is that the movie is not capable of saying anything remotely coherent about the real world, because its version of the "real world" is as weird and fake as its Barbieland. Will Ferrell's CEO of Mattel character is more of an absurd cartoon than any of the Barbies or Kens. Mattel HQ is some kind of surreal labyrinth tower out of The Matrix. A random receptionist can handle herself like James Bond in a car chase, for reasons that are [handwaved in a gag].

VII

So. Yes. There is the sequence in the third act where Ken takes over Barbieland with the power of patriarchy. This is pretty much as bad as it can be. And I say this as someone who thinks that the movie probably did actually need a plot thread doing roughly that kind of thing.

Almost as bad as it can be. The wannabe-patriarch Kens are gleefully goofy in a way that you can't help but love, or at least, I couldn't help but love it. Which has something to do with the writing and something to do with the charisma of all the Ken actors. The main Ken, Ryan Gosling's Ken, really seems to believe that being a successful patriarch has a lot to do with riding majestic horses and wearing a giant fur coat without a shirt, and when he takes over Barbie's Dream House he names it Ken's Mojo Dojo Casa House -- that kind of thing.

But. Apart from that, it's real unfortunate. The justification for Ken's ability to conquer Barbieland with patriarchy, instantly and effortlessly, is -- in almost so many words -- they had no defenses against it, it was like the American Indians encountering smallpox. I...don't think I need to spell out the problems with that.

Worse yet, the whole sequence is soaked in, uh, let's call it "2014-era upper-middle-class social-status-oriented feminism." The real bad behavior on the part of the Kens, the stuff they do when they're not being adorably weird, is: mansplaining their extensive opinions about cars and movies, and wanting to show off how helpful and knowledgeable they are to "damsels" who are having trouble using machines or computers. Apparently that's the real problem at hand, the causus belli of the gender wars. The way that you deprogram a patriarchy-brainwashed Barbie is by...ranting to her about the stereotypical social irritations of upper-middle-class women (e.g. "you have to keep yourself thin but not act like you care about being thin," "you have to be a confident leader but also be nurturing and supportive," etc.) [note that the Barbies of Barbieland have never encountered these irritations, at least not at the hands of men]. And the girlboss victory montage consists of having the Barbies put on deceptive manipulative bimbo acts to stroke the Kens' egos, which sure is one way to depict girlboss feminist victory.

But the most unforgivable thing of all is the depiction of the patriarchy-brainwashed Barbies. They're lad-magazine caricatures, endlessly offering their Kens "brewski beers," dressing up as French maids, gazing on in cow-eyed adoration as their Kens mansplain stuff to them.

Barbie does, in fact, have a problematic history with the patriarchy. And it does not look like that.

VIII

@brazenautomaton:

Barbie isn’t someone who had to fight through the patriarchy to be seen as good enough to be an astronaut even though she’s a woman. Barbie’s a fucking astronaut because she’s fucking Barbie of course she’s good enough to be an astronaut.

That is...one aspect of the deep Barbie lore. It is the Barbie-nature that Mattel was trying to push, as far back as my own childhood; it's certainly the Barbie-nature that Mattel is trying to push in this movie. But there is another side to Barbie, even older and even more fundamental than Senator Astronaut Veterinarian Barbie, and you can't make a postmodern movie-about-Barbie without addressing it.

This is Barbie the fashion doll. The Barbie who is an icon of ultra-consumerist teenage girlhood, whose life is defined by her fancy clothes and her fancy car. The Barbie whose most salient traits are her hourglass figure and her long blonde hair and her feet that are always posed to fit into high heels. The Barbie of "math class is tough!" The Barbie who is kinda vapid and shallow and, yes, boy-crazy.

How can you tell a story about Barbie wrestling with the culture of patriarchy, and not talk about that? How can you depict Barbie falling victim to the patriarchy and have it look nothing like that?

...the movie does bring up the specter of Vapid Consumerist Barbie, briefly. When Margot Robbie's Barbie first comes to the real world and meets with the sullen teenage daughter character, she has a litany of That Thing thrown in her face, and it makes her sad. But nothing is ever done with it, and it goes nowhere.

IX

And it could all have fit together so well. That's the hell of it.

You can imagine the version of the story in which Ken conquers Barbieland with patriarchy, because the Barbies are actually vulnerable to patriarchal narratives, because Vapid Consumerist Barbie is the chthonic serpent that gnaws at the foundations of Senator Astronaut Veterinarian Barbie civilization. He successfully makes them all forget that they're senators and astronauts and veterinarians, and turns them into airheaded teenage fashionistas who think that math class is tough.

And this avails him, and the other Kens, nothing. Even within the "patriarchal" version of Barbieland, Ken is still an afterthought and an appendage. He still gets treated like dogshit, just in a different idiom.

Because the thing that has always been true of Barbie, though every age and every phase of her mythos, is: she is the main character of her own story.

This is what the movie was telling us all the way back in the horrific 2001-pastiche prologue, right? Even when Barbie was just a swimsuit model, the point was that she let girls tell stories about themselves (or idealized/aspirational versions of themselves), not about boys or babies. That is a truer, and more powerful, feminist message about the meaning of Barbie than any message the movie actually bothers conveying.

The gag scene practically writes itself: the brainwashed Barbies are sitting around in a giggly slumber-party huddle talking about how dreamy Ken is, and actual Ken cannot get a word in edgewise, he can't even get them to notice he's there, because even Vapid Consumerist Barbie is fundamentally centered in her own life. Her narrative is not about a boy, it's about the experience of being a girl (mostly engaging with other girls) who likes thinking and talking about boys. Which is very much beside the point, if you started out with the complaint that your girlfriend never paid any attention to you.

Patriarchy hurts men too, indeed.

X

The movie ends, as I've intimated, in a disappointing squidge of thematic confusion. Barbie announces that she never really loved Ken, and leaves him, because...well, because these days the smart-set target audience is allergic to romantic narratives that Produce the Couple, as far as I can tell. Then she goes to the real world and becomes a real girl, a move that means nothing and is nonsensical even by the standards of the Barbie metaphysics, because the storytellers don't know how to end her arc and Becoming a Real Girl is the sort of thing that feels like a meaningful conclusion.

The Kens...sigh...the Kens ask for equal rights in Barbieland, more or less, and get told, "nah, but we'll throw you some bones." And they're happy with this, more or less, because they're dumb and don't really care. The narrator says, approximately, "maybe someday they'll make as much progress as women have in the real world." Haw haw.

It's probably too much to hope for a movie like this to be willing to say something substantive about responsibility and kindness in relationships. It's almost certainly too much to hope for a movie like this to be willing to say something about the nature of love symbols and love narratives. But all the pieces really were there, laid out very conspicuously. The movie could have wrapped up with: Ken doesn't need to be more important than Barbie, he doesn't even need to be as important as Barbie, he just needs to be treated with human decency. And if little girls are going to play with Barbies, and fantasize about having cute guys hanging all over them -- maybe they should have functional models of romance and human connection in which to root their fantasies, and not terrible ones.

[stay-tiny-ville]

Han Jisung

Summary ~ Delulu thoughts of baby gurl Han Jisung and why the hell can’t men like this exist where I am (Or just my head going wild with dating head cannons of Han Jisung)

A.N. - I have heard your pleas for more Stray Kids before I move on to Ateez and I come to deliver DONT WORRY BABIES I HAVE 14 DRAFTS

A.N. 2 - I haven’t really checked word counts my brain just kinda goes on and on so if ones are longer than others I deeply apologize 🧎🏻‍♀️

A.N. 3 - also I’m genuinely confused if I can actually consider them head cannons if these are kind of mainly blurbs in each (if you can’t tell idk how to classify these)

———————————————————

Dawg, dude, sweetheart, baby, babe, angel are names he’d call you

Def the best friend boyfriend

That’s probably how you got together was from being best friends because he’d probably be too anxious to get with someone he had feelings for that he didn’t know on a deep level

You two are on top of each other at all times

Like laying on top of each other when one is already laying down

Full weight where the other can’t breathe

Or laying full body weight on them while they are doing stuff out and about

One only gets out of bed/off the couch if the other carries them

You’ve seen the nonexistent legendary baby photos

If you like to wear baggy or big clothes he would wear your clothes and you would wear his and all of a sudden you both have one giant closet with double the clothes

Would def watch marathons of movies with you when they should be watched

Like nightmare before before Christmas, horror movies, and Charlie Brown Halloween movies around fall

Star Wars runs in May

And def the classic Christmas movies such as Harry Potter, the Santa Claus movies, and even the original and classic stop motion movies

Year without a Santa Claus is the best

I imagine on one of your rare coinciding days off you don’t go out, no matter how long it had been since you had, instead this was the superior alternative

Maybe it was even a special occasion like an anniversary or birthday or even just an accomplishment but you spend the day on the couch

The beginning of the day consisted of the classics you had to get out of the way like the Studio Ghibli movies I know everyone agrees on him loving so much or just things that recently released you had been dying to getting around to watching

After a collection of movies was watched you would break for food

Most of it consisted of not the healthiest stuff a man in his field should be consuming in such quantities

Like pop tarts in the morning, hot pockets for lunch, macaroni for dinner

Just a lot of processed things but man were you two adorable and just having a fun day so who can be mad at you

As the day slowly got darker, Hannie built a nest of blankets he nestled around him, but there wasn’t a blanket on top of him

But that’s where you come in

You lay between his legs, head on his stomach, turned to wach intently the movie that played

one of his hands holding yours while the other ran along your head

As the movie pulled to a close you turned to rest your chin on his stomach, his own dark, large, quokka eyes bore into your own

His hand falls from your head to your cheek and he held it gently

His gaze softening as much as humanly possible as his eyes closed the more he smiled at you his gorgeous smile

You felt your heartbeat quicken

No matter how many years you had known this man, through childhood or not, no matter how old you were, you were just a teenager madly in love

You were lost in your adoration for this beautiful creature and you think he could tell since he giggled before he untangled from you and stood, pulling you up by your hands

He mumbled “come on” with a smile as he pulled you to the kitchen for snacks

You knew the drill at this point in the night

Popcorn

He got the bowl ready while you had put the bag into the microwave/started heating it on the stove

Obviously he got the quicker job and by the time you sat back and waited he was already waiting and leaning against the kitchen island behind you

You turned around and barely took a step before his gentle hands grabbed ahold of your forearm and coaxed you into his arms

His arms securely wrapped around your shoulders and thus pressed your head into his shoulder and neck

Your own arms wrapping around his tiny waist

The only noise was the hum of the microwave/hiss of the popcorn on the stove as you relaxed into who you called your home

After making your way back to the couch for what would be the last movie of the night with the snacks, you once again found yourself attached at the hip to your boy

This time you were tucked into his side, head on his shoulder while you two laid

you lasted all but 40 minutes of the two hour film before your eyes fluttered

It didn’t help that his hand was on your waist and was softly brushing at the open skin and made you feel safe

He watched you as you lost the fight to your eyes and brushed strands of hair from your face

(If you’re a heavy sleeper) he gathers you into his arms and heads to the bedroom, leaving behind the snacks and blankets to be cleaned up tomorrow

(If you aren’t a heavy sleeper) he moves all items off of you (phones, popcorn bowl) and falls asleep to the sight of you in his arms

Han deserves so much love and I love love baby girl Hannie

[vashhanamichi]

Sorry for the number of asks/questions. I am curious on what you like about Tomarry and Grindledore. Also what are your honest thoughts on Dumbledore/Tom Riddle, Drarry, Tomione and Wolfstar. What other HP ships appeal to you?

So, first of all, I'm very sorry for taking so long to answer! And second, never apologize for sending me questions, I love getting them even if I take a while to answer. If you'll forgive me, I will only talk about one of those ships in this ask, but you can ask me about the other ones in other asks, it's just that talking about all of them in just one ask would turn my answer into a (even more) giant rambling I fear. Also because I only have true strong opinions about some of these ships, so I chose a single one, the one I have most opinions about, the one I have loved for the longest time.

That ship is, naturally, Voldemort (Tom Riddle)/Harry Potter.

I want to preface this by saying that I see them and ship them in a sort of unusual way, or at least it seems so, because I haven't found my particular interpretation of them in the fandom so far (though I've read fanfics that shook some of its branches) in more than a decade of shipping this ship. But I guess all authors are like that -- we're all trying to fill a void shaped as our own want.

It's true, too, that there's many ways of interpreting canon and molding its clay. I'm not constant in my characterization of Voldemort (though some things repeat themselves) for example: in some fics I make him an experienced philanderer, in others he's as virginal as Harry, or even more so. He's angrier at times, but softer, milder in some others. More or less irrational depending on the context. More or less bloodthirsty. Harry's well of patience dries with diverging speeds. So does his sanity.

With that said, what do I like about them, the basis?

I like a combination of two main rivers of characterization regarding them. Those are: 1) Voldemort as the Monster Groom, the Fairy Tale Villain, the Nightmare, The embodiment of fear and Harry as his favorite Victim, his killing, his bride. 2) Voldemort as a Father, Harry as his child. Voldemort as a son, Harry as his Mother. Voldemort as God (or Satan), Harry as his creation. It's important to note that these are fluid and fund with each other -- God is also a Groom, God is also a Father. A bride is a victim, is a deer, is a son, is a killing, is a meal.

Alright, so on with it.

Trigger warnings: discussion of CSA, incest So, Voldemort as the Monster, Harry as his Victim:

I think it’s very interesting how for four books Voldemort haunted Harry from beyond the grave, so to speak. Until his resurgence in the graveyard Voldemort was, in his own words, “less than spirit, less than the meanest ghost . . . but still (…) alive.”

That, along with his self-appointed title, the awe and terror he inspires, his seemly unlimited power, gives him the aura of being more monster than human.

It’s also telling that their first meeting — when Harry was a baby — happened in Harry’s nursery, in the bedroom. It’s been written before by scholars who write about the slasher genre that the violation of the bedroom can be read as a violation of the victim’s own body. Even after coming back as flesh Voldemort keeps on haunting Harry in his dreams — again, violating him in his bed. Throughout the fifth book he entices Harry to leave the safety of Hogwarts to meet him again.

Candyman (1992)

A nightmare on elm street — the dream master (1988)

There’s an element of fairy-tale thrill to Voldemort and his relationship with Harry; his self-given title and his true name are both keys to understand him, even to defeat him. It’s only by discovering the truth about “Tom Riddle” that Harry acquires the weapons needed to defeat “Lord Voldemort”. By turning him from monster to human — uncovering his past, something the protagonists of horror movies usually have to do to defeat the monsters trying to kill them.

Candyman, for example, is called forth by having his name said aloud three times in front of a mirror. A similar taboo is put upon Voldemort’s name in the seventh book.

In more romantic terms, Voldemort seems to me like Mr. Rochester when he calls Jane Eyre — his strange, almost unearthly thing — and she hears his call all the way across the moors. Voldemort and Harry’s connection is an supernatural one and thus surpasses the physical obstacles in their way.

Then there’s Harry, Harry as a bride, Harry as a victim, Harry as The Final Girl — the one who got away. The Boy Who Lived.

Nancy in A Nightmare on Elm Street

Harry’s existence and his title — The Boy Who Lived — are defined by Voldemort. He was a survivor before he could speak, he was marked. Like many Final Girls he’s a teenager, virginal, brave. He’s also not taken as seriously as he should be. He survives but there’s always a cost. In the fifth book (imo the best in the series) he’s explicitly traumatised. A final girl wanders into the Death Realm. She comes back but brings something with her. She’s changed. Voldemort changed Harry, Voldemort touched Harry, Voldemort violated Harry. He comes back from the graveyard (the Death Realm) but he’s not the same.

In the fifth book Harry displays a lot of signs of trauma and, many times, the trauma of someone who was raped. After Nagini’s attack he feels deeply unclean:

There’s a deep sense of inevitability when it comes to Harry and Voldemort. He’s transformed, marked, from an ordinary baby to a Christ figure, The Chosen One. He’s made. Voldemort’s touch transforms him.

He lives between two deaths, like Hannibal’s Abigail:

Twice-killed, Abigail lived a borrowed amount between one father and the next. Her scar was a sign that she was marked for death, like a bride wearing an engagement ring. Harry was the same — his time was borrowed, between one Avada Kedavra and the next.

Harry’s becoming from ordinary child to redeemer of Wizarding Kind was done through Voldemort’s tempering. It’s as if Voldemort is God to Lily’s Mary and James’ Joseph. It took Voldemort’s decision to make him into The Chosen One. Harry as we know him is Voldemort’s creation.

That makes Voldemort, in a way, Harry’s third parent. Harry collects father figures throughout the books, he finds them in Sirius, Lupin, Dumbledore (Snape too arguably). They all abandon him by dying. The one who endures, the one who’s always there, is Voldemort. Voldemort never disappoints. His parenting of course it’s a painful one but we can’t forget that pain is what Harry knows given what he faced with the Dursleys. A child weaned on poison considers harm a comfort.

Voldemort is obsessed with him and hurts him. But he’s there, always there. Indifference and neglect often do much more damage than outright dislike, Dumbledore says. Voldemort is many thing but not indifferent to Harry.

And that’s the thing. That’s the pain of it, the way I like them — fiction is not reality after all — as a unhealthy, tragic pairing. Harry can’t live without Voldemort because he’s too deeply his. Alice Notley says it best:

Harry belongs to Voldemort. I ship Voldemort with other characters, like Dumbledore and Bellatrix, but they all have extensive pasts and lives (even Bellatrix, who's so devoted to Voldemort) beyond Voldemort. Harry was created for Voldemort, scarred by him, mauled by him. This sort of prison, the fact that Harry can't ever escape Voldemort, his Father, his Maker, his Killer, is part of what draws me so much to them.

It's getting very late here and I'm making less and less sense as I go. This is the longest post I have ever wrote I think, on years and years of tumblr, and to be honest I could keep talking about them, using other metaphors, other references. I hope it's not completely nonsensical. I really like them.

That's all for today, and I apologize again for the delay in answering it, if you want you can ask me about other ships in separate asks! Thank you for the ask and I'm sorry for all of this rambling.

[fukutomichi]

It's RAMBLE TIIIME!!! Okay, I think I can talk about it now, probably most have seen the episodes. It's a bit longish! Here we go!

That first episode is so far my favorite, because above all else, I'm a GIGANTIC fan of visual storytelling and show-don'tell, and that first episode had me FEASTING. You can probably tell by my gifsets that I love when actors emote and act without dialog using only emotions and facial expressions to get the message out. Episode 1 gave us so much of it. And dare I say bordering a bit on horror/gore a bit, those first few minutes with Sauron in his "desk job era" had me surprised by how brutal it got quickly.

If people are wondering if they're gonna do the Celebrimbor thing, and if THAT is gonna be too brutal to show, this might confirm that they may not shy away from it at all.

I love the fact that they took the criticism that was mentioned for the first two-three episodes in Season 1, when I was actually kinda worried that the pace was going a bit TOO slow and it took three weeks, when the story moves to Númenor , for the series to fully kick in gear. This time they were like, lets get the set-up out of the way, all at once, and then release week after week. Lets see if this decision pays of in the next weeks ahead.

So lets get this out of the way. I had a hunch with Nazanin Boniadi missing from promos and interviews that they are gonna off her character right away. Turns out that there was even an announcement before that I've completely missed and I was gutted when I found out, but in the end of the day, a job is still a job, and if it affects you in anyway, it's probably best to leave it. I have had a first hand experience in this and no matter how high the pay was, my health was much more important than anything and had to quit. I'm gonna miss her and wish her the best!

Arondir and Theo's relationship gets back to square one, so I'm interested to see in what way or IF it gets mended cause man, I dunno how they can pull it off this time. BUT I do LOVE that they've paired Theo alongside Isildur which is a character he can empathize with so I wanna see where that leads. My friends immidiatelly groaned when they heard "Gawddd the ARROW really?? =___="...and then remembered about a tiny movie called The Hobbit and what happened to Kili. We had to go to Hobbit logic to explain it away and move on lol.

The new character Estrid, was IMMEDIATELY suss as HELL to me. Even after she burned her sigil on her back so she can hide it. I've been listening to her soundtrack theme, and almost like as if its made from two layers, feels almost TOO magical for her even. But this is just my hunch. Isildur is still too wide-eyed and naive so maybe she will serve some purpose in him getting a bit jaded later on.

ORC BABIES!! HELLO!! I love that we're getting deeper into the orcish origins and probably everyone's favorite topic, are they redeemable?? Can they be??? I also love that we got to have two Adars. Season 1 we had Joseph Mawle with an almost vulnerable portrayal and what seemed like a suicide mission for him. Now for Season 2 we get Sam Hazledine, with his goal complete AND him still alive, a more driven and focused character...but is he gonna survive THIS season?? 😭

We know Adar also mentions how he meets Sauron for the first time...but that doesn't stop me from AGAIN, thinking that he IS MAGLOR. Come one maaaan, the hand!!! "In the eldest of the Elder days" you don't just drop a line like that causally. DROP THAT REVEAL!!!

WE NEED MORE OF THE HARFOOTS!!! WE NEED MORE WIZARDS!!! These 3 eps were not enough for me lol. I'm just beyond excited for Tom Bombadil!! Please have Goldberry, please have Goldberry!!

Disa and Durin are still relationship goals. UGHHH!! They will have me stressed!

I ain't gonna lie. When that giant eagle landed before Pharazôn, there were a few seconds where I was buttclenching thinking he was gonna pull his sword and swing it on the bird...but then Manwë would probably descend and obliterate Númenor in seconds and the series would be over lol. Númenor will have me stresseeeed. The Petty Lord and his Queen WILL RUIN MEEEH!! 😭 😭 😭

Ben Daniels as Cirdan is an A+++ casting choice. Kinda bummed that he hasn't talked properly with Gil-Galad tho. Make different characters interact more with each other damn iiiiit!!! Let us see them establish connections!!

That being said, my favorite part so far, and are probably gonna be the central focus of this season, are the elves. Their strive for perfection, thinking themselves SO infallible, beyond prideful, are gonna be the very things that bite them in the ass...again lol.

And it's important for us to see that, cause THAT is the extent of Sauron's evil, we need to witness just how much he can mess you up and how much he enjoys playing the game, in the same time thinking himself savior and deserving of love. How much PURE good you have to be to resist him. Elrond so far has proven able to resist, given his past.

Galadriel is on the brink. If listening to "The Last Temptation" tells me something...Galadriel so far hasn't learned her lesson and thinking herself able to resist.

I believe there's a gut-punch coming up in the finale and I'm not gonna be ready for it. And yet, as much as I don't like it, WE NEED TO SEE IT! We need to see how evil can be tempting and irresistible, that even an infallible being can fail.

After all, it's all downhill from here.

[doodleferp]

Cara and Miguel Starter Pack

So let me start from the beginning one last time. Once upon a time, Cara was yeeted into Earth-928 thanks to some fucky Lovecraftian nonsense from her fucky Lovecraftian dimension. After meeting Miguel, who was a baby Spider-Man back then, Cara was denied access back to her world thanks to some sibling disputes. She spun a little web of lies for Miguel’s then-fianceé Dana, and they took pity on her and decided to help her out. I’m pretty sure you know the rest. They moved her in with Dana, saved the city, humorously acclimated Cara to the city, buried Dana, got married to get Cara a green card, and ended up actually falling in love.

This works off of a timeline of events that I established myself and it's subject to change if more information from the films comes out. General consensus is that Miguel was born in 2070, so he was 29 when he got his powers IN 2099. But since he’s 35 in AtSV, that means about six years have passed since then.

Cara is five foot even. She’s a tiny little thing who has the love of a fucking giant. As the tall one, Miguel is often asked to help get things from places she can’t reach. But instead of grabbing the thing like a normal person, Miguel grabs Cara under her arms, lifts her up, and holds her up so she’s the perfect height to grab the thing herself. He does this everywhere. The apartment, the Spider Society, the grocery store, his office at Alchemax, etc.

Cara likes to wear a helmet instead of a mask because she’s being tossed around constantly and feels safer with that kind of head protection. Miguel, however, fucking hates the helmet and takes every opportunity to show Cara his Pepe Silvia board about why she should trade it out for the mask he made her. Cara will sit patiently through all of it, and then she’ll go “Would you like me to crack my head open?” And he shuts up for another week. (Oh, he also made her current suit all by himself.)

These two are like...so gossipy Mostly Miguel, but Cara indulges him a lot. Ofc they have those bedtime pillow talks where they're both reading or Miggy's on his laptop and they'll go on about something someone did that day. They'll be swinging through the city and talking shit about Internet drama or some dweeb from a restaurant. Miguel will hit her up on his lunch hour and give her all the Alchemax tea, complete with examining his nails like the mean popular girl from a Disney Channel Original Movie. If he thinks someone's eavesdropping, he'll start talking in really fast Spanish so they can't get what he's saying. Needless to say, Cara had to learn Spanish really fast just to keep up with him.

They both adore snuggling. Miguel is like Cara’s weighted blanket and she can’t sleep without him anymore because he just envelops her (Fig 1). He’ll spoon her, he’ll let her sleep on his chest and hold her there. He’ll do everything short of actually sleeping on top of her (Fig 2) and he does that at least once a month. However, he always wakes up at 4 AM to use the bathroom, and Cara always wakes up because she no longer has her big warm blanket man. Thankfully, she goes right back to sleep once he comes back to bed. It’s to the point where they have trouble sleeping without the other in the bed because Cara needs the weight on her and Miguel needs something to cuddle.

Since Cara and her sisters got some fucky eldritch nonsense going on with their blood, they…I guess a bit more compatible with other dimensions. They can’t travel between them at will, of course, but they don’t glitch because they got that interdimensional cosmic horror in em. When Miguel somehow starts monitoring the ItSV movie, he’s flabbergasted when he sees the other Spiders glitching and he goes to Cara like “these people are literally dying and it hasn’t been a week, how the shock did you survive SIX YEARS”.

Cara’s actually good at a lot of household chores, so she offers to help around the apartment when she isn’t working. And thanks to Spider nonsense, she can get really thorough with it. Miguel has come home multiple times to see her standing on the ceiling changing light bulbs or cleaning something on the ceiling. It saves him tons since he got to opt out of the building's cleaning service, but it still gives him a heart attack every now and then.

They have had long arguments about whether or not killing spiders counts as murder since they’re both half-spider. Cara scoops them up on a piece of paper and puts them out the window or something. Miguel just puts them out of their misery.

As I’m sure everyone reading this has deduced, these two are a very...hands-on couple. They have been banned from being in the Spider Society’s gym at the same time because of it. As in "when one of them goes in, the other is automatically locked out" kind of banned. Thank Peter B for that -- as in, genuinely thank him because he's saved a lot of minors from seeing a couple spider mutants getting freaky.

Not exactly shippy, but Miguel and Cara's sister Cadence do not get along. At all. They hate each other with a burning passion. Cadence is positive he's that archetypical dudebro who's going to drag Cara down, and Miguel is rightfully pissed that she's hostile to him for existing. Cara unfortunately has to get in the middle of them and keep things calm, and thankfully Miguel is willing to make an effort. Cadence is less than accommodating though, so the occasional cross-dimensional family visits are always interesting.

c. doodleferp, 2024. do not steal or repost.

[naffeclipse]

Heya Naff, slightly late but Happy New Year!! 🎆 Hope you’re doing well and I wish you much inspiration and many good things this coming year! <33

I had a little query pop to mind recently if that's okay:  what if reader in the Deep Dreams universe had megalophobia and/or perhaps even thalassophobia? 

I know this might make less sense for fisher Y/N as we know them, so it could hypothetically be some other person, a friend or a future Y/N who makes friends with juvenile Sun and Moon and then only later discovers they've grown to be big sea beasties - maybe seeing them in their dreams is fine but for real it's a different matter, at least until they get used to them :)

How might the boys react?

Having a slight bit of megalophobia myself, the best way I can describe my experience is a gentle anxiety with the need to seek shelter and cower there, but people's experiences can vary (and possibly change depending on the conditions). Also that kinda makes it 10x funnier that I have an affinity for giant creatures xD

Hi, Piixel! Happy New Year to you, too, babe! ♥ Thank you so much, ahhh, you're much too kind! :D I hope you have a beautiful year and an abundance of lovely things happen to you!

Oh ho! Fear of big things and of large bodies of water? I'm sure that totally wouldn't be a source of great fear and conflict with a poor little reader soulbond to a couple of mers hehe (The Sea Beast is an excellent movie btw!! ♥)

Y/N with megalophobia and thalassophobia wouldn't be caught dead on the ocean. You have dreams about two massive mers, and those creatures are always sweet and gentle and attentive, but you're still convinced it's some weird nightmare (even though no real spooky events unfold in said dreams). The mers coax and plead with you to go out to sea so you can all meet, but that's a solid no from you.

Then through a very terrible chance of fate, you're on a boat for whatever reason but very much against your desires, before you get swept away by a rouge wave and left behind. You're alone, struggling to swim in a massive ocean when—oh goodie, that looks like a giant mer floating right below you. What else could go wrong today?

Needless to say, after seeing Moon, then Sun, and realizing that these massive mers you've had dreams about are here in the flesh, you pass out from sheer fright. It's a lot for you to wrap your brain around, but when you come to, you're on Sun's back as he floats gently along the surface, keeping you dry as you begin losing your mind out of the horror of it all while Moon watches you from close by. You can't jump into the great wide ocean to escape the mer carrying you but you can't stay on the thing's scaly back either, so you may have a panic attack. Sun stops and turns his head back to give you his full attention while Moon tries to take you in his hands but that does not help your situation. They can feel your panic and horror, but you can feel confusion and distress at not being able to help, and in fact, them being the cause of your fear.

Their attempts to calm you down are met with resistance as you want to be anywhere but here in the ocean with two giant mers.

Sun and Moon are bewildered and upset, to say the least. You did often seem nervous in your little dream rendezvous but they thought they did a lovely job of reassuring you it was alright and that they would never hurt you and there's nothing to be scared of. Turns out, not quite. So, they take you safely back to the island shore where you more or less escape from the massive monsters and flee inland. But, there's not a whole lot of places to go on the little island and you've got to sleep eventually, so Sun and Moon decide to spend more personal time with you and show you that really, they're the two baby mers you happened to scoop up one summer day when you were just a tot and didn't realize how scary some things could be.

They'll be patient. You'll see that there is no place safer than with them in the water. They'll help you face your fears and then reunite with you.

If you ever leave your house again, that is.

[justagalwhowrites]

Get To Know Me pt 1

Thank you for the tag, @sheepdogchick3 !

1. Were you named after anyone? My middle name is my paternal grandmother's name.

2. When was the last time you cried? I teared up a bit Tuesday night but fully sobbed was probably last Friday.

3. Do you have kids? No BUT I have a bonus kiddo in the form of my foreign exchange student!

4. What sports do you/have you played? Softball and figure skating when I was in school.

5. Do you use sarcasm? My therapist once said "I can't picture you being anything but witty and bitingly sarcastic at the slightest provocation" so take that for what you will.

6. First thing you notice about people? Generally their demeanor, I will tiptoe around people who seem mad and like they might direct that anger at me. Second, probably height lol

7. What's your eye color? Hazel

8. Scary movies or happy endings? Happy endings, I am NOT a scary movie person! I just don't like being scared like that. I love roller coasters, I love suspense but I'm not big on horror.

9. Any talents? The closest thing I have to a talent is probably writing. I'm also a pretty decent cook and baker. I was a decent actor and director back in the day but now I mostly just use those skills to be a decent public speaker. I also did speech and debate all through high school and college (so if you were on the college forensics circuit in 2008-2011 we probably bumped into each other at least once.) That's about it, I don't have much going for me lol

10. Where were you born? Texas but I don't live there anymore! I love leaning on my Texas history when writing pre-or-no-outbreak TLOU fics though lol like hell yeah I'm going to include little Texas things in there like HEB and Shiner Bock and kolache and Dublin Dr. Pepper FIGHT ME (please don't I will lose)

11. What are your hobbies? This lol But I read a lot, play a lot of board games and D&D (if you want to geek out about these things please DM me I'm so serious), we go hiking and camping a fair bit. I also love film and am going to be starting my big Oscar movie binge probably this weekend.

12. Do you have any pets? One dog named Yondu! He's a lab/pit mix and he's my baby boy, I birthed him myself. He's also incredibly stupid but he's just the sweetest dog you will ever meet, I love him. He's currently wearing a sweater because he loves being warm and he's a snuggly thing.

13. How tall are you? 5'10" (I know, I'm a giant)

14. Favorite subject in high school? English, psychology, theater, journalism.

15. Dream job? Novelist and columnist who is sometimes a talking head so I can get paid to rant about my political opinions. I was a columnist for a few years in there with some syndication when I got picked up by wire services but that's the closest I've come!

NPT: @tightjeansjavi @diversemediums and anyone else who wants to do this! My brain is oddly fried atm and coming up with tags is overly difficult lol

[rollercoasterwords]

hiiiiiii!! i don't have the brain to do or watch anything atm but i would LOVE some movie recs please 🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻

YAY ok assuming this is coming from the 80s movie post so. here r some of my favorite 80s movies:

ridiculous campy fun:

earth girls are easy (1988) - fucking LOVE this movie!!! such a fun time. horny aliens crash their spaceship on earth + get taken in by a human woman. also it's a musical comedy + the aliens are played by jeff goldblum jim carrey and damon wayans

hell comes to frogtown (1988) - also. obsessed w this one. post-apocalyptic world where society is a matriarchy + humans need 2 repopulate. protagonist is a Manly Man who has been discovered to have a Mega-High Sperm Count, making him a government asset so a sexy military doctor locks him up in a chastity cage 2 conserve his precious sperm. also there are mutated frog people + they kidnapped a bunch of ~fertile~ human women to keep as sex slaves so Manly Man needs 2 accompany sexy military doctor + sexy soldier to go rescue the ladies from Frogtown so he can fuck them <3 also his name is Sam Hell. hence. 'hell comes to frogtown'

clue (1985) - based on the board game!! murder mystery comedy w wacky characters + an ending that is oh-so-fun

weird dark fantasy:

the company of wolves (1984) - the movie that inspired my 80s movie post 2nite <3 creepy fairytale retelling of red riding hood w a bunch of stories-within-a-story so that it ends up feeling like some sort of fever dream matryoshka doll

labyrinth (1986) - one of my FAVORITE movies of all time!!!!! david bowie is a goblin king who kidnaps the protagonist's baby brother as a favor 2 her + then when she's like actually i want him back he's like ok solve my maze then <3

return to oz (1985) - sequel to 'the wizard of oz' that is like. 10 times darker + weirder + creepier + definitely scarred me + my twin when we watched it as children lol. dorothy won't stop talking abt oz so she's taken 2 a mental institution for electroshock therapy. queue dramatic storm + sudden return to oz except the city is in ruins + dorothy needs 2 save the day

horror:

aliens (1986) - sequel to alien (1979) which just missed the cutoff for making this list + i also recommend--but u don't NEED 2 watch it 2 watch this movie. outer space creature feature meets slasher survival horror. xenomorph i love u <3

the thing (1982) - another sci-fi alien horror but this time it follows a group of researchers in the arctic who encounter an alien that can change shape 2 look like any of them. queue paranoia. there's also a more modern remake of this movie if i'm not mistaken

day of the dead (1985) - probably romero's least well-known zombie movie lol but a fun one nonetheless! good if u like 80s movies + zombie movies which. i do <3

the shining (1980) - oooh artsy spooky hotel horror.....a classic to be honest....

animated:

the last unicorn (1982) - ANOTHER favorite movie of all time for me!!!! unicorn who lives in isolation in a forest overhears two humans talking about how there are no more unicorns in the world + is like what i can't be the only one left...so she sets out on an adventure 2 try and find out what happened 2 all the unicorns <3 another movie that scarred me as a child bc of how creepy + dark it was

nausicaa of the valley of the wind (1984) - studio ghibli <3 this is one of my fave ghibli films. post-apocalyptic wasteland where giant bugs roam the earth....amazing

castle in the sky (1986) - more ghibli! girl w mysterious magic necklace meets boy who is searching for castle in the sky. also they are being chased by pirates + creepy government agents. FUN

kiki's delivery service (1989) - aaaaand more ghibli. teenage witch sets out 2 make her way in the world + encounters existential dread <3

classics:

heathers (1988) - veronica decides that she's sick of her mean-girl popular friendgroup + at the same time meets Mysterious New Boy. when she complains 2 him abt her friends he starts killing them <3

the princess bride (1987) - based on the book (which i also recommend!!); i feel like everyone knows this movie but. basically fairytale-esque romance abt a girl named buttercup who falls in love w a farmboy named wesley but then wesley gets murdered by pirates...or so it seems....

ferris bueller's day off (1986) - teenagers decide 2 skip school + run amok in chicago. wahoo!!

[kittieshauntedourfantasy]

Soft/healthy relationships/domestic Heathers Headcanons!

I'm excited to finally post these! Under the cut!

(I'm a JDronica shipper, so I'm sorry if I didn't include any of your ships. Feel free to HC these for your own ships, though! Also yes, this is mostly sleepy stuff because I GO FERAL FOR THAT)

Veronica

She snores. Volume varies, but it's usually a little hard to sleep with.

Absolutely LOVES big blankets. Quilts, comforters, etc.

Gentle little grabby hands. All the time. She could be stimming, getting your attention, or just feeling a little tired. Just little grabby baby hands.

Feeds stray kitties that live nearby. She always saves table scraps for them.

She likes making pillow forts! Doesn't matter if she's alone or with friends, she has a blast making and hanging out in them.

When she's really happy she goes SPROING BOING KAZOING!!! Bounce bounce bounce!!!

JD

Secretly a giant cat person. He loves them. Especially black cats!

Buys random silly things! Like those little water toy things where you tilt it and the drops go down the slide/track or whatever

Likes autumn and winter. He enjoys taking strolls during these times, especially with Veronica.

(Thank you to @beesmeowmeow for helping me with this one) He needs noise to sleep. A fan, white noise machine, something.

He likes pillows! They're nice and fluffy

Heather Chandler

Claims that she hates cats, but then she sees one and is like "*GASP* KITTY!!! Pspsps meow meow prrrp mrow!!!" and pets it for forever

She really likes calming scents, like lavender.

She doesn't love mint all that much. Whether it's smell or taste, she isn't a fan.

Heather Duke

She likes big fluffy things. Blankets, plushies, pillows, whatever.

Does little tiptoe bounces when she's excited

Really appreciates when people listen to what she has to say. She talks a LOT and gets very happy!

Heather McNamara

LOVES plushies. Especially Beanie Babies.

Very good listener. You could ramble for hours and she'd enjoy the conversation.

Can't open ANYTHING, she is a literal child. She can't open baby gates, she can't open child locks, she can't open jars/bottles... Nothing.

JDronica

(Big thanks to @we-were-meant-to-be-one for a lot of these!)

Whenever he has nightmares, JD clings onto Veronica and huddles into her. It's soothing to him.

Veronica has 100% slapped JD in the face while sleeping, oops

Whenever Veronica sprawls out, JD takes it as an opportunity to cuddle/make contact. He thinks she makes a very nice pillow/blanket.

Since he needs noise to sleep, JD finds Veronica's snoring rather soothing. He's never told her that she snores, and doesn't want her to worry about it.

Veronica is very alert when it comes to JD's sleep, and wakes him up if she thinks he's having a nightmare.

They both love cuddles/close contact. Hearing the other's heartbeat/breathing, feeling the other's hands in their hair... Yes.

JD giving Veronica gentle kisses

JD insists on cuddling, no matter how hot it is. Veronica is on the verge of dying from heat stroke.

Staying up late, making jokes, and cackling loudly

Playful arguing! They end up playfully elbowing each other and blowing raspberries, but it's all just sillay fun!

Watching movies together. Pointing out plotholes, cracking jokes, etc. During horror movies, Veronica grabs onto JD very tightly.

[vampirekittn]

some of my eddie munson headcanons <3

• the first song he learned on the guitar was "smoke on the water" by deep purple

• he always has a giant pile of dirty laundry in his room

• babies kind of freak him out

• he had a pet lizard as a kid that he found outside one day & just decided to keep him

• he sniffs his hair to see how much longer he can go without having to wash it

• loves super cheesy horror movies & loves adding his own commentary & making fun of them

• his favorite holiday is halloween & he dresses up every year

• him & his uncle wayne like smoking w33d together

• the stains on his mattress are a combination of old sweat stains & bong water stains

• even though his favorite holiday is halloween, he also has a soft spot for christmas bc he loves giving his friends really random gifts

• his favorite judas priest song is "the sentinel" & will argue that it's the best judas priest song ever created

• very clumsy & trips over his own feet a lot

• loves when he comes across stray cats in his trailer park & will feed them whatever snacks he can find in his pantry

• his favorite anthrax song is "metal thrashing mad"

• often drools on his pillow when he's asleep & is a surprisingly heavy sleeper

• loves thumb wrestling & will win every time

• has given dustin countless wedgies (out of love)

• despite being kind of uncoordinated & clumsy, he's great at climbing trees

• eats meat but can't think about it too much or he'll get sad because he'll start thinking about the animals

• when he has a crush on someone, he loves to tease them & act cool & tough but actually gets really nervous & flustered around them

• he's read the lord of the rings series countless times

• forgets how loud he left the radio on the last time he was in his van & scares himself the next time he starts it

• has an incredibly fast metabolism & is almost always hungry

• is almost always late for school but is never late to hellfire club

• very very rarely lets people touch his hair, he'll only let you touch his hair if he likes you

• same goes for his guitar, he'll only let you touch it if he likes you

[zmediaoutlet]

appy wincest wednesday! time to put sam and dean in more situations. if you could make them play the main characters in a different story, in which tv series/movie/book/whatever would you put them? any specific scene you’d love to see them do?

ppy wincest wednesday to you!! <3 I LOVE SITUATIONS this is great, let's do it --

I already put them in Dragon Age II, thanks to a random kinkmeme post that I was absurdly well-suited for, and I think they are absurdly well-suited for that universe, so I encourage everyone who knows about both spn and DA2 to just nod thoughtfully along and agree.

But I'm also a hardass and so when I think about S&D in a Situation it's one that's got to carry with it a strong parental legacy that develops their personalities in a particular way, and also the isolation from others that'd make them Weird enough for wincest, and also Sam's gotta rebel in some way. Bc otherwise what's the point? Might as well just be a j2.

So: this is a little left-field, but because it's topical for me at the moment I'd put them in the Horizon video game 'verse. For those who don't know, it's the year 3000ish and Earth had a whole-ass apocalypse caused by AI (also-topical sweatdrop), and humanity's last remnants are little tribes who try to do their best with what they can on the bones of the Earth that was. The Nora tribe in particular have a fairly hide-bound culture with a strong religion that requires them to adhere to strict rules, particularly about leaving the Sacred Land and interacting with technology from the Old Ones.

So: John's wife is killed by a corrupted machine, possessed by devils, and he takes his two children and leaves the Sacred Land and becomes Outcast, trying to find out why that happened. Dean's an obedient excellent little hunter, helping with the mission and raising baby Sam to be the same, but Sam's torn -- he wants to be part of the tribe, wants to be normal and have friends, and he wants to run in the Proving to rejoin the tribe and be a citizen again. After all, what's the point of suffering out here? Dean can't agree out loud because of course he can't, but he helps Sam train anyway, when John's not around. Sam tells Dean that he'll still talk to him when he's a member of the tribe and Dean says, of course you will, I'm the best brother you've got, but he secretly doubts it. John and Sam have a giant blowout fight once John finds out that Sam's going to try the Proving and Sam works his way back to the Sacred Land alone, furious that Dean wouldn't come with him. The scene I'd love to see is when John's tracking those Carja bastards who seem to be responsible for the corrupted machines and he holds the monsters back to give Dean enough time to drag Sam away from the horror of the what happens in the Proving -- and then they've got to find out who killed their dad in addition to their mom.

And also they like fuck nasty in the woods.

If anyone else has played Horizon, come with me on how well this works. If anyone hasn't -- it's a good game! Try it.

[loveshotzz]

what are your top 5 movie recommendations? Any genre, just wanna know reasoning like are they just your personal favorite, you think everyone should see, etc

Ooo!! my top five movies?!! I love this question, and honestly my top five has stayed pretty consistent for like 10 plus years.

My number one, always and forever will be Inception by Christopher Nolan. He’s my favorite director of all time. The way he only shoots with film, and hates CGI makes my film bro heart soar. On top of the fact that it’s one of the most innovative movies of it’s time and plot line that I’ve never seen done before. I still love debating on the ending of it with people. Also Tom Hardy and Joseph Gordon Leavitt in three piece suits for like three hours?!

Number two is Inglorious Basterds by Quentin Tarantino. I mean the plot alone?!? COME ON. I love the idea of rewriting history, the cast, and the acting are just completely phenomenal and I could watch it every day and feel the same way when it ends.

Number three is No Country For Old Men, I just love the Coen Brothers. The movie is so intense, and the acting is top tier. Javier Bardem plays a psycho with a captive bolt stunner so well that it’s actually terrifying.

Number four is Army of Darkness by Sam Raimi, I grew up watching the Evil Dead trilogy because my step dad loved them and the third one is by far my favorite. It’s campy and it’s funny, Bruce Campbell is hot as hell. And I’m actually secretly a giant baby when it comes to horror 💀 and it’s not scary like the other two. It’s one of my favorites and it’s definitely a comfort movie for me just like Elvira.

Number five is 500 Days of Summer, I just can’t even begin to tell you about how good this movie is. It came out when I was 19, and at the time I related so much to Tom’s character, and now in my 30’s I kinda like want to punch Tom in the face and I understand Summer now, and relate to her character way more. It’s just my go to heartbreak movie, i love it. I have a steve harrington 500 days of summer AU i’ve had in my drafts for forever.

[afreakingdork]

HELLO YES IM SORRY I JUST HAD TO SCREAM AT YOU ABOUT YOUR OWN FIC AND HOW MUCH I LOVE IT please accept these deranged ramblings of an angst-addled mind

“They were worried about his wellbeing for whatever reason” - DONNIE. YOU DUM DUM. THEY LOVE YOU AND YOU LOCKED YOURSELF IN YOUR LAB FOR A WEEK >:c

Donnie reads like he’s so trapped and just trying to ignore it until it goes away :<  Ofc he’s gonna lash out when Leo backs him into a corner

Mikey and Raph are being oddly chill about it all though, are they trying to let Donnie sort through whatever he’s dealing with?  Casual brotherly support and this is probably not the first time they’ve seen Donnie behave like this, Leo just has that *Donnie Sense*  They just seem mostly concerned that he’s physically taking care of himself at the moment, which I know Donnie put on a facade but hhhhhhhhh 

Donatello “I’ll keep all my emotions right here, and then one day I’ll die” Hamato

I love how Donnie thinks he’s calculated out his family’s reactions to things and parsed out the appropriate resources in his mind, and then here comes Leo with a monkey wrench lol

The repetition…Leo…are you actually 12…

Leo: “Look, you know I hate pulling rank as leader-"

Raph and literally all of us: “You really don’t.”

I love how Leo’s trying to convince Donnie to talk to him well after he’s already smashed his grubby gumball hands over all his buttons.  And laughing when Donnie is clearly upset - unfortunately very on brand, lmao ;v; Did he realize just how hard he poked the bear I wonder

“Make me” I can hear him just spitting it out like venom, I got fuckin chills, you KNOW something’s about to give hehehehehe

Ooooh, has Donnie not reached breaking point in a long time? That mental armor can’t protect you from everything Dee.  That, and you’re really good at spinning yourself in circles. There it is, classic Donnie overthink.

Also like, I KNOW it needed to happen, but LEO.  HE WARNED YOU THREE TIMES!!! WHAT DID YOU THINK WAS GOING TO HAPPEN????

Donnie: Go ask your lover!

Leo: lmao bro i have no game wym

Man Leo really fell for that punchline

Sorry fhkajdfsk

Donnie really used Emergency Exit with that shell drop move, Donatello has left the building

“Don’t think I’ve ever seen you turn your precious computers off!” - Leo, who has apparently never seen a horror movie

ALSO. OMG.  THE MYSTIC SPARK?!?! THAT IMAGERY?!?! OOOH I GOT TINGLES AGAIN THAT WAS SO GOOD I CAN IMAGINE IT HFKHAJKFSD

The whole fIGHT I CAN’T EVEN

IT WAS SO WELL WRITTEN OMG y’know how sometimes you read a thing and you’re like ‘i can’t visualize where in space these people’s bodies are’ yeah no, I didn’t get any of that this was so well done I LOVED IT

“We are INSIDE, young man!” - Nice last-ditch effort, bro

I also wonder what was going on in Donnie’s brain during this, but I get the feeling it would be like angry TV static

The voice crack…..Donnie honey im ;A;

AND OF COURSE LEO ONLY REALIZES HOW BADLY HE FUCKED UP AFTERWARDS sigh…again, very on brand

Did Reader blanking out their phone screen hurt? Yes.  More than it should have? Probably.  I’m a sentimental baby buhuhuuuu…

Also SIX DAYS???? HAS LEO NOT APOLOGIZED TO READER???? IN SIX DAYS???  Or would it be three? STILL!!!

Lmao I just imagine Leo on the phone with that lovely *wind* sound in the receiver also WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU LOST DONNIE WHY WOULD YOU PHRASE IT LIKE THAT LEO WTF MAN  I mean he’s potentially concussed tbh so I guess he gets a small pass XDDDDD

'YOU DIDN’T CHECK THE GIANT SKYLIGHT?! LEO!!!!!' - Mind Raph

Leo, forever now: ‘Did we check???’

Also!  You got Splinter’s voice perfectly right (at least that’s my opinion) I love it you did so good <3  Also I’m with Splinter “Did you not think to ask love interest first!?”

“Come here often?” Boi i will smack you myself

My dear Author.  The WHOLE scene with Donnie.  Broke my damn heart.  Again.  You’re very good at that, you know?

Angsty boy sittin alone on a cliff, and being able to visualize how damn tired he is, no energy to react physically until he literally drags himself to his feet, I’M-

And Donnie, honey, you’re very smart but there you go again hypothesizing with not enough data,,,how many different theories have you crafted baby boy,,,

Sometimes u gotta jiggle the Donnie

And then break his brain a lil ;3

Ohhh and THEN THE REALIZATION SETTING IN i loved that SO much, just ‘dear god, what have I done’ which TO BE FAIR I’d have done the same thing if Leo had laughed in the face of my assumed heartbreak

And oof, He’s gonna need some Down Time to recover from this emotional whiplash.  Just needs a good Sit and maybe a lil Cry and maybe when he’s feeling less Raw all three of you need to actually fucking communicate I swear to Pizza Supreme-

Anyways, holy shit, I have some FEELINGS ABOUT THIS FIC

You are AMAZING and I CANNOT WAIT to see what you do next

THANK YOU AND HAVE AN AMAZING NIGHT <3

Shade you absolute animal (/pos)! I cannot believe you wrote me a play by play. I adored every minute of it!

For Mikey and Raph playing it chill, I imagine the brothers all show their love in different ways. Leo might have waited in another instance, but in this one he has a personal connection and intel on what's going on that's driving him a bit nuts.

The "lmao bro i have no game wym" totally destroyed me, full on ugly cackling. That is actually how I intended that laugh to go over! He was thinking "YOU KNOW ME, YOU KNOW I'M SINGLE AS HELL BRO"

Otherwise, I'll keep chugging along and

Thank YOU and YOU have a good night!

[virtue-and-beneviolence]

Virtue!! Your event!!!! Why are you so sweet let me smooch you😭

If it's okay I would love to tell you about my Selfship with none other but Benkei bear 🫶

Sadly I don't have any selfship art bc your bitch is broke but I have a picrew

We're just that wholesome lil couple where you think "oh my how adorable I want that too!"

We got our difficulties choosing movies because I live for horror and gore which he's scared of bc he's a baby. All big and tough but he's the softest. He would keep a light on when I listen to true crime to fall asleep and states it's so he can read and play with my hair but in reality he's scared (but won't say anything bc he knows I can't fall asleep otherwise)

He would protect me from everything and speak for me when anxiety kicks in but as we know I'll gladly destroy kneecaps if someone pisses my loved ones off so I think this dynamic fits us best

He's this cool headed, calm, rational guy that likes to be loud and cheer all his friends on while I'm that impulsive little crackrat that can't open her mouth for shit - and if I do it's either veeery quiet (or I will make you question your existence if you chose to fuck around and find out)

Him and Ace are best buddies and it makes me question from time to time if he's with me so he can hang out with my dog 💔 can't blame him tho, that stinky is a legend.

Our song is Work song by Hozier. It just gives me this big ol Benkei vibes.

You probably have the whole knowledge of A-Z about him thanks to yours truly 🫶

And about me uh yeah. I'm a lil Shrimpy that would kill for her dog and loved ones, big anger issues but a shy baby. As you know I love to crochet and lately to paint / draw.

I don't know what else to tell you but I could go on for hours about how much I would like to lay in bed and cuddle him right now because yeah. I love him and he's that big walking heater that likes to cuddle.

I just love this man why is he not real 🥹

Greet the Breadstick from me please and give her some good booty scratches if she's into that🖤

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◇─◇──◇── @benkeibear  x Benkei! ──◇──◇─◇

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birthday edition!!! Wishing you a very tolerable year with more ups than downs hehe <3 <3

□ I feel like Benkei has definitely tried to train you a bit in the past. So he can be particularly comfortable and secure in your ability to stand you ground against the GIANTS you experience on the daily.

□ And thank god it happened after hours bc i think it has also once maybe ended in steamy locker room times.

□ Benkei has tried to squat Ace (with ace kind laying on/being held on his shoulders). I don't think ace loved that. His lil face was VERY CONFUSED, but the gym insta followers loved the video.

□ this one is kinda out there but i think maybe Benkei might have discovered yarn bombing and coordinated with some local grandmas to yarn bomb a park. I think he probably tried to get you to teach him (I'm not sure if his hands were quite dexterous enough) but tldr, the grandma population loves him and he thinks it's a very silly idea.

□ big spoon/little spoon? Puh-lease. Benkei lays on you. He hugs your hips and nestles his cheek into your tum and he could die happily like that, your warmth on his cheek. It's super cute right!!! WRONG! Come winter you are going to be plagued by his COLD NOSE. It is the ONLY PART OF THE MAN THAT GETS COLD. But ugh anything for him T.T

□ Benkei sends you a video every. single. walk. with Ace because he's a silly boy or his ears flopped really cutely.

□ He absolutely lifts you in the grocery store.

□ Benkei, in all his buff, yet soft glory spends a lot of time at Shinichiro's place lately. He always smells really sweet when he comes back too.

□ it's weird but like it's Benkei. Benkei would never do anything so sketchy as cheat.

□ Of course, he was really getting baking lessons from housewife in the making Emma. Even better than the cheesecake me makes for your birthday, is the stack of photos of Benkei with each and every one of his failed creations along the way.

□ Also, he's the most reasonable of the older gen trio, but he still forgot candles so you just blew out his lighter lmaooo

□ I just know he'd be coordinating for months to get people to get to see you irl esp after the last few years of wild shit. It's made even more sweet bc I don't think he's really the stay-tightly-in-touch type so it's really a little labor of love and UGH I LOVE YOU TWO.

□ Most importantly Benkei lets me play flirt with you and is in on the running joke that if heaven forbid anything happens to him, I get you

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If anyone but rhy made it here - sorry yall, this is me celebrating our girl's birthday so it's a super special extended length version.

BACK TO IT THO!!!!

Have you ever lovingly teased him about his very of-the-time tribal-y tattoos?be honest. eheheh

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Come make my day, tell me about your self ship, and get some hcs of your own.