#but he feels like that's kind of a 'well duh' sort of thing | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

seungfl0wer · 2 months ago

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*𝑶𝒏𝒍𝒚 𝑴𝒆*

Pairing: Jeongin x Reader (Fem)

Genre: Smut (Short One Shot)

Warnings: Corruption, Virgin!Jeongin, Oral(Both), Multiple: Rounds, Orgasms, Creampies, Unprotected sex, Slight degrading, public, hair pulling, I think that’s all? Sorry for any mistakes or missing warnings!

A/N: This is my first time attempt at a corruption kink so I hope I did it justice! This came out way longer than I anticipated and I wrote it over two days so I’m sorry if it’s kinda weird? Idk man lol. I hope you enjoy it!

Find Request Here

-🖤

Jeongin was known as the shy guy in class. You had never seen him talking to anymore, he always just kept his head in his books. You always wondered to yourself if he lived a double life or something because he was way too handsome to be this anti social kinda guy. As class went on you had to pick partners for a project so you made the choice to ask him to your partner.

When you walked up to him his eyes blinked at you in almost confusion. “Jeongin wanna be my partner?” You asked with a smile.

His eyes blinked quickly then down at his desk to avoid your gaze “I- uhm- s-sure” he managed to stutter out.

“Awesome! Here’s my number! Let’s meet up and talk about the project later yeah?” You smiled writing down your number on his paper. You flashed him that sweet smile one last time before walking back to your seat.

Jeongin breathed out like he was holding his breath. His face beat red not knowing what just happened. You were one of the most beautiful people to him. You were smart, kind and just stunning. He thought the world was just playing some jokes on him to have you come over to him. As he stared down at your number he felt a lump in his throat swallowing hard, he got his phone out putting your number in.

Jeongin: Are you positive you wanna be my partner?

He texted feeling regret after sending it. You smiled to yourself seeing it pop up.

You: Duh, you wanna meet at the library later? How’s 5 sound?

Jeongin: Sounds good.

Jeongin was screaming inside, he was so nervous. He’s never really talked to many girls only ever having one relationship ever when he was a teenager. He’s only ever had one singular peck on the lips so having you want to be his partner kinda made him feel proud almost.

When 5 came you were sitting in the corner of the library, the collage had comfy sides so you could relax and work. You sat on a beanbag chair almost curled up just waiting for him to come. When you saw him walk in you smiled waving him over to where you were sitting. His eyes didn’t meet your gaze looking everywhere else but you.

“Hey! You ready to start” you asked.

“Y-yeah uhm so what uhm did you want to do it on?” He asked back.

“Well from the topics why don’t we do it on gaming soundtracks?” You said looking at your paper.

The class you both were in was music production. Funny enough you both were in a lot of the same classes because you both were looking for a future in some sort of music field.

His head perked up at the thought of it. “Wait you wanna do video game stuff?” He asked almost dumbfounded.

“Yeah! I think it would be fun, I actually enjoy gaming a lot” you said with that oh so sweet smile.

He felt his heart do flips, he started asking about your favorite games, what console you used etc. You’ve never seen him so excited or talk so much for that matter. You happily answered all his questions each one making his heart just melt even more. I guess he can add gamer to the list of things he found attractive about you.

As you both started to talk about the project you moved closer to him. Your leg brushing against his. He felt a jolt go up his back his body stiffening. You were so close to him he could smell your perfume. “Hey, the library is gonna be closing soon you wanna come back to my apartment and keep working? I can order us some food.” You said before getting an excited “I can show you my gaming set up!” You said with a bright smile. He nodded feeling a bit excited as well to see your set up.

You got back to your place throwing your stuff down at the coffee table. “Make yourself at home” you said. Your apartment was small but it was cozy, it was a little messy with papers cluttering places. “Sorry for the mess” you said feeling a bit embarrassed. “Oh oh!” You said taking jeongin hand “let me show you my set up!” You said dragging him down the hall to your bedroom. His eyes widened as he walked in feeling like he shouldn’t be in here.

His attention was on your set up now though “No way! It looks awesome!” He said with a wide smile. He started geeking out over your equipment and how nice your color scheme was. You both almost completely forgot about doing the project sitting at your desk and just talking about gaming.

“You wanna test it?” You asked moving from the chair.

“Definitely” he said with a smile.

You pulled up all your games letting him pick whatever. When he started to struggle a bit with the controls you moved him a bit sitting on his lap. “Here let me change them for you so it easier” you said. His mind was blank. Every thought he might have had gone. Here you were sitting on his lap like it was nothing. He felt a breath get caught in his throat his hands not knowing where to sit.

You really didn’t do it for any other reason to help him until you felt his cock starting to poke at you. You smirked to yourself ‘this would be fun’. You moved your ass back against him a bit testing his reaction. He bit his lip feeling a groan dare to escape. This sweet innocent man didn’t know what to do. He had his eyes shut tightly hands gripping at the arm rest. Oh was it so hot to know how you were driving him crazy without even doing anything. In that moment you knew you wanted to corrupt him. To make him only be able to think of you. To only have one thought behind those beautiful eyes, you.

“Jeongin’ie are you alright?” You asked in a sickeningly sweet tone.

“Mhm” he said not being able to get anything else out.

You bit your lip moving your ass more against his now fully hard cock. You could feel his body twitching under you. He didn’t want you to move away but he didn’t think he’d be able to stop himself from cumming in his pants either. You turned your head only to be graced with the sight of him. His face was red, eyes glazed over his lip a bit swollen from him biting on it. “I can help you with that you know” you said with a grin.

His eyes just blinked at you not knowing how to reply. “Want me to make you feel good Innie?” You asked. He only nodded a little making you tilt your head. “Tell me, use your words” you said.

“I- please m-make me feel g-good” he stuttered out.

“Such a good boy” you said before moving off of him. You knelt down between his thighs pulling down his pants and boxers slightly enough to let his cock spring out. His fists were gripping the chair hard, eyes closed tightly shut.

You took his cock in your hand making him let out a soft moan at the contact. You smiled before licking up his cock rewarding you with another sweet moan. “Look at me innie” you said. His eyes slowly opening, the sight he had made his cock twitch in your grasp. While he still had his eyes on you, you quickly took him in your mouth. Slowly moving yourself over him eyes glued to his. He let out such a desperate moan as he watched you. You bobbed your head trying to keep a slower pace, your tongue swirling around his length.

“Ah- y-y/n” he moaned. His hands came up to grip your head however they just hovered over it. Scared to do something that would make you stop.

“Innie do what you feel comfortable doing” you said before reaching yourself to him.

His hands found their way to your head softly holding onto it like he’d brake you or something. He bucked his hips up into your mouth eyes fluttering at the feeling. “C-can’t I’m-“ he whined bucking his hips one more time before cumming hard back your throat. A long guttural moan left his lips as his body shook. You pulled away licking your lips eyes still glued to him.

“Didn’t think a sweet guy like you would fuck my face so well” you said with a smirk.

He was panting trying to catch his breath, when he looked down at you again his cock twitched. Your lips were swollen, eyes a bit teary and glassed over. When you stood up he watched you intently “wait- what uhm what about you?” He asked softly.

“What about me?” You said.

“I- uhm- do you want me to- h-help you?” He stuttered out.

“You wanna help me hm?” You smirked.

He nodded his eyes looking like a puppy trying to beg. “Alright come here” you said bringing him to your bed. You laid down pulling your pants down with your panties. Jeongins mouth dropped at the sight of you. He’s only ever seen a naked women through online videos it was even more jaw dropping that it was you who he was looking at. You gave him a small lesson on where to touch a girl and where it’ll make her feel good. He nodded taking in all your words like it was a class.

When he kneeled down between your legs looking up at you he felt his legs shake. He slowly leaned into you licking slowly up your folds as a test. Your words swirled in his head of what to do and as the good student he was he listened. He took your clit in his mouth sucking softly when he heard you moan he groaned back. You could see he was moving his hips against the bed trying to create some friction for himself. “Gonna be a good boy and make me cum innie?” You said with a sweet honey voice.

There it was that word again ‘good boy’ it was making his head all foggy. He wanted to be your good boy wanted to make you feel as good as you made him feel. He brought his long pretty hand up to your cunt slowly pushing a finger into you. The warmth that engulfed him made his cock somehow even harder. The taste of you was driving him even crazier. He lapped at your cunt like some dog pushing his fingers in and out of you. “Just like that, you’re doing so well- ah-“ you moaned out.

His eyes rolled back it was like some light bulb went off in his head he started to move his fingers faster curling them inside you. His lips sucked and nibbled at your nub. He wasn’t ready for what was about to happen though, your legs clamping around his head as loud moans left your mouth. “Shit- innie- I’m- fuck- cumming!” You moaned grabbing onto his hair moving your hips against his mouth as you chased your high.

You moaned out tasting every thing you gave him, he licked you clean. He moaned out loudly only to be muffled by your thighs. He bucked his hips again cumming in his pants. He looked up at you with those same almost puppy eyes, you smiled at him “you did good innie, such a good boy” you said pulling him up to you. You kissed his forehead softly holding him tightly to you.

—

The next couple days were a bit busy for the both of you only seeing one another in class while exams were going on. You two sat back in the back in class going over your project. Your hand resting on his thigh. A grin grew across your face feeling his cock already getting hard. You looked around knowing no one was even paying attention. Your hand brushed over his cock making him jump. You leaned into him a little before whispering into his ear “you’ve been working so hard, let me make you feel good hmm? Just gotta be a good boy and stay quiet, can you do that for me?” You asked.

He nodded, your hand dipped into his sweats slowly stroking him. He gripped onto the desk hard knuckles turning white. You kept your eyes on the paper asking him questions about it. He tried his best to answer it all coming out as a mumbled mess. Your fingers pressed against his tip hand speeding up. You could feel his cock twitch in your hand knowing he was already so close. “Tell me when you’re close hm?” You said softly. He nodded once more biting his lip harder.

Your hand gripped around him moving up and down faster than slower paying extra attention to his leaking tip. “Y/n-“ he said softly hand coming down to your wrist. You looked around once more before leaning your head down. His eyes went wide when he felt your mouth around his cock. Hand came to the back of your head pushing you the whole way down his length. His cum shot back your throat, you could feel his legs shaking from his orgasm.

When you finally pulled away licking your lips you smiled at his dazed over eyes. “Such a good boy, you did so so well” you said. He smiled at your words leaning into you more. He wanted nothing more than to cuddle up against you like last time.

Another day went by when you got a surprising text from him.

Him: Y/n are you busy?

You: No why what’s up?

Him: I uhm can you help me?

You: were you at?

Him: In the bathroom by room 235

You didn’t text back already on your way down to him. You smirked to yourself that he was reaching out for help. When you opened the door to the bathroom you softly said his name. He peaked out from one of the stalls his eyes looking at you like some sad animal. You quickly made your way to him you could already see how hard he was. “What’s wrong innie” you asked.

“I- I couldn’t stop thinking about the other day- please I-“ he whimpered out.

“What do you want me to do for you?” You asked.

He fiddled with his shirt not looking at you “come on baby, be a good boy and use your words” you said.

“Please I can’t cum with out you-“ he choked out. “Help me- I-“

You would have made him beg more but he looked utterly pathetic already. “Ok baby I got you, let me take care of you yeah?” You said getting down on your knees. You unzipped his pants pulling them down with his boxers. He was so hard it looked like it hurt. You wasted no time wrapping your mouth around him. You swirled your tongue around his cock looking up at how wrecked he already was. You pulled away pumping him with your hand “my sweet boy has become so dirty hasn’t he?”

He shook his head “I’m- I’m not-“ you whinnied out.

“No? So you didn’t text me to come suck you off in the bathroom?”

“I- m’sorry” he whinnied more.

“Such a dirty little boy hmm? Can’t get off by yourself anymore need to- to fuck my mouth just to get off?”

He whimpered “y-yes” he said truthfully.

“Then use my mouth to get yourself off” you said wrapping your mouth back around him but not moving.

He looked down at you eyes filled with tears he grabbed at your head pushing his cock back your throat. “Y/n” he whimpered out I’m already so close” he said head falling back. He pushed in your mouth a few more times his grip holding you in place. He was fucking your mouth like a flesh light. “C-cumming!” He moaned out a familiar warm liquid shooting back your throat. When he pulled out his eyes were glued to you. “Y/n I- wanna make you feel good again please- I need to- to- t-taste you again” he begged.

“Innie wants to eat me out hmm? How bad baby tell me how much you want too” you said.

“So bad, so fucking bad please- please I’ll make you cum like a good boy” he whinnied.

“Mm such a dirty mouth you’ve gotten, let’s put it to use yeah?”

He smiled he pulled your pants and panties down hosting you up against the stall. You were taken back by his surprising strength he had. He wasted no time diving straight into you. He lapped at your folds his tongue darting into your wet cunt, His nose rubbing against your clit. You grabbed onto his hair for some stability only making him moan into your cunt. “You like when I use your face hm? I bet you like it when I pull your hair too- such a dirty boy. You’ve become such a little whore” you said dripping at his hair harder.

His mind went blank his cock twitching already so hard again. He ate you out like a starved man. Nipping at your clit before somehow letting one of his arms go. He pushed his fingers deep into you curling them perfectly. “J-just wanna make you feel good” he said. “Wanna be- be your good boy” he continued. He sucked harsher at your clit your walls tightening around his fingers.

“Shit- innie-“ you moaned out “don’t stop- fuck I’m gonna cum!” You said. He listened, he didn’t stop he in fact took a mental note of what he was doing. When you finally came you came hard against his lips body shaking against the stall wall. To your surprise he came with you, untouched for his second orgasm. He let you down stumbling back a bit. His legs felt weak his body shaking. You wrapped your arms around him kissing his cheek softly “you did so well you know that? You’re such a good boy innie” You said. Making him relax a bit. He cuddled up to you holding tightly like you would run if he didn’t.

—

Today was the day to present your project, both of you were super nervous. However it went over really well. The teacher was really impressed even more so as he listened to jeongin talk. He was happy to see him out of his shell more than ever.

When you both got the grade back smiling wide at the big A+ you got, you hugged him tightly. He was taken back a bit, you were hugging him so openly he was just surprised you didn’t care that people saw. “Innie how about we celebrate today! I’ll order something and we can celebrate at my place yeah?” You said excitedly. Of course he nodded feeling excited too. He was just happy to see you so happy.

—

When jeongin knocked on your door he was greeted with you in an oversized shirt with nothing else on. His jaw dropped at the sight of you. You hugged him again pulling him into the apartment. “I’m so proud of you!” You said. “You talked so well in-front of everyone!”

“It was- easier.. you know having you up there with me” he said shyly.

Your heart melted at his words “yeah? Well innie I got a special surprise for you!” You said pulling him into your room. There was a box sitting on the bed with his name on it. “Just a little something to tell you I’m proud of you, it was actually gonna be a birthday present but- I think you deserve it now.” You said excitedly. When he unwrapped it he almost cried, it was a new headset he showed you before. There was also another small box in it. When he pulled it out he felt his chest tighten. It was a small necklace with the first letter of your name on it.

When he looked up at you he could see a small blush peppering your face. He felt all shy again like the women of his dream didn’t just basically ask him to be hers. He smiled putting it on right away before coming to hug you. In the moment he didn’t even realize before he pressed his lips to yours. He kissed you lovingly his heart pounding in his chest.

The kiss caught you by surprise but you couldn’t help but feel yourself melting at his touch. You moved yourself walking backwards to find the bed. You kissed him one last time before pushing him to the bed. It didn’t take long for you to be onto of him again lips pressed against one another. The kiss was more hungry this time more desperate. You grinned your hips into his already hardened cock making you both moan into the kiss. You quickly pulled away ridding yourself of your shirt. His eyes went big never seeing you fully naked before. His hands quickly grabbed ahold of your chest. He rolled his hips to meet your movements making you both moan in unison.

“Innie take your pants off for me?” You asked. He quickly did so pulling them down fast. You rolled your hips against him once more his cock pressing against your cunt. You yourself couldn’t take it anymore you needed to feel him inside you. You moved your body back holding onto the shaft of his cock before slowly sinking yourself down. It almost looked like his soul was pulled from him his breathing almost stopping. The warmth of your walls was too much for him.

“You ok if I move baby?” You asked softly.

“Y-yes” he mustered up.

You moved your hips sinking down fully into him. His hands gripped at your thighs digging in harshly. Your walls were clenching so tightly around him, the sight before him was not helping his situation. He watched as your perfect breast bounced with every movement. Your face contorting in pleasure and the sweet moans that left your lips. Oh man was he a goner. “Y/n! Stop I’m gonna cum!” You almost screamed out. But you didn’t care you kept moving, faster even.

You felt his cock twitch inside you cumming deep into you. His hot cum coating every part of your insides. You didn’t even notice your own orgasm creeping up on you until you were cumming from the sensation.

There was a moment of you both breathing until you felt yourself being hoisted up and pushed back down on the bed. “I- fuck- y/n I’m sorry- please I-“ he whimpered out. His cock already rock hard again. He pushed into you once more this time moving fast. He felt the warm cum around him letting him slide in and out with ease. “T’good- can’t- can’t stop- m’sorry” he groaned. He was fucking you as if he’d done it a million times. His pace perfect hitting all your sweet spot.

“Ah- innie- you’re such a dirty boy- ah- ah- fucking me again without even asking” you teased.

“M’sorry-“ he whimpered.

“I feel that good hm?” You said.

“Fuck- yes- feel good- s’good- can- can I cum inside again? Please please I’ll be good and make you cum again too” he begged.

“Be a good boy and make me cum first” you said.

He was on a mission after that his hand coming down to play with your clit. It really backfired on him though as your cunt clenched around him so tightly. “Fuck- fuck” he moaned out before he realized he was cumming again.

“M’sorry- m’so sorry” he cried out his head coming to rest in the crook of your neck. Even after cumming twice he was still so damn hard. He rocked his hips into you so overstimulated but he needed to make you cum.

He gripped at your thighs pushing them up, he fucked into you harder pushing his cock to the hilt. “Jeongin! Your- fuck your so deep!” You moaned out.

“Your- your not mad at me for cuming again?” He asked.

“It’s ok baby, fuck- you’re still my good boy” you said softly against his ear.

He moved back looking down at you “n-no not a good boy till- till I make you cum-“ his hand came down to play with your clit once more fucking into you like he almost hated you. His movements were sloppy but rough. You felt your high at its braking point watching as he fucked into you until the necklace caught your eye. Fuck- seeing the necklace knowing he was fully yours pushed you over the edge. You came hard around his cock pulling him down to kiss you as you swallowed each others moans. He came for a third time his body shaking like crazy against yours.

As you both calmed down a bit you kissed him softly “did such a good job- always be my good boy” you said softly.

“Your good boy” he said just as softly.

“Yes, you’re my. Good boy.” You said with a smile “if that’s ok with you? To be mine?” You asked.

“Like- like your boyfriend?” He said looking up at you with puppy eyes.

“Yes, silly” you smiled.

“of course! Yes yes! I’d love to be!” He said happily.

“Then it’s settled. You’re all mine. And you know what that means?” You asked.

“What?” He said.

“I’m all yours too!” You said making him smile even more. He kissed you softly cuddling up into you. “All mine” he said in almost a whisper before slowly falling asleep.

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💙 If you’d like to read more of my stuff you can find it Here: Master List . Thank you for reading and if requests are open or you just wanna talk feel free to send me something🩵

Taglist: @satosugu4l @do-you-remember-summer-127 @xines16 @minh0scat @troublemaker02 @tr-mha-fan @lunearta @velvetmoonlght @minghaosimp @ldysmfrst @felixleftchickennugget

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omagpies · 6 days ago

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I was thinking of your Roleswap AU and at first I was confused over Capt. Anya just calling Curly, "Nurse." But then it embarrassingly just occurred to me "Oh duh she's just being professional." And it fits her given how canon!Anya insists on calling Curly "Captain" even though he keeps telling her that she can call him by his name. It's a nice way of tying their characters back to their canon counterparts and showing how Capt. Anya is different from Capt. Curly and how Nurse Curly is different from Nurse Anya.

All of that to say: I just imagined Nurse Curly, still having that "I want everyone to get along here :)" attitude (plus the crushing) once tries to tell Capt. Anya that she can call him Curly and immediately freaks out over potentially overstepping a boundary with his superior.

well spotted :) i talk about it here a bit already, but yeah the main point is that Anya is acutely aware of her position and the various power dynamics she has to partake in. as such, she is somewhat paranoid and prone to over-analysing interactions and trying to dissect them to figure out if any boundaries were overstepped in either direction.

so, hyperaware as she is, she can't not notice Something from Curly's side. when she alludes to it in some way, Curly freaks out (because the last thing he wants is to make her feel like he's pushing her into anything) and in his course-correction swerves all the way into inventing a girlfriend as sort of a shield for Anya, some proof that he isn't after her in any way. Anya, of course, knows that having girlfriends doesn't always stop people from doing what they want, but Curly is nice and kind and they're good friends and she really doesn't want to be afraid of him, so she does her best to take him at face value even when the math doesn't seem to math terribly well.

hey, turns out being a captain comes with cultivating blind spots for the sake of peace, huh :")

as for titles: in general the crew is on first name/nickname basis with each other. the exception is Anya, who is always(?) addressed as 'Captain' by Curly and Daisuke before the crash, and 50/50 name/title by Swansea and Jimmy when they want to make some kind of a point. she, in turn, tends to address everyone by name unless she is deliberately putting professional distance between herself and the other.

(roleswap au tag) (masterpost)

#mouthwashing #curly mouthwashing #anya mouthwashing #curlya #caw caw #my art #roleswap au

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munsonsmixtapes · 11 days ago

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Just You and Me: Part One

Hello, everyone! I was reading this series by @the-witty-pen-name and was inspired to make a fic where y’all chose who reader ends up with! On every part of this series after this one, there will be a poll where you can vote whether you want reader to end up with Steve or Eddie or both of them! This has been so much fun to write and I hope y’all enjoy!

Summary: You convince Steve to fake date you in order to get Eddie's attention, unbeknownst to you that Steve is actually very much in love with you.

part two

The diner is packed as you sit at a booth, your best friend across from you, eating his stack of pancakes while you've barely even touched yours. You're too nervous to eat, and honestly, watching Steve chow down is making you feel sick. there's just a lot of riding on the whole thing and you know you're going to sound crazy for asking him in the first place, but you still want to at least try.

Steve would do anything for you, you know that, but you're wondering if maybe this is crossing a line. You push your plate to the center of the table and sip on your soda, still trying to get the courage to tell him why you really wanted to meet him there. It definitely wasn't just for pancakes.

Steve isn't stupid. He knows something's going on that you're not telling him. You look sick, nervous and he hates seeing you like that. He just wants you to say what you need to say so you'll feel better again. He knows you're only chugging down your soda so you don't have to speak and he hates that for you, trying his best to not seem concerned because for whatever reason, that always somehow makes it all worse.

You finally get the courage to look up at him and hate that he's put on that dopey smile that always seems to be reserved for you. He's finished his pancakes so now he's just staring at you, waiting for you to just get on with it, politely, though, because he's Steve.

"What I'm about to ask of you is crazy and I know that. You are more than welcome to say no and I won't be offended if you do," you finally say before taking a deep breath.

"Are you asking me to bury a dead body? Did you kill them? No, I actually don't want to know. Wait, yeah I do. I should know if my best friend has committed murder." He's speaking so quickly that you can barely even understand what he's saying.

"I don't need help burying a body and I didn't murder anyone. I'm not asking you to do anything illegal, Steve. I would never ask you to do that. That's why we have Eddie, right?" Steve knows that Eddie would be the one to help you out with that kind of thing and that pisses him off. Fucking Eddie. It's just been the two of you your whole lives and then this fucker comes in and ruins Steve's whole plan. Well, he would have if Steve would have just stopped being a pussy and asked you out already.

Truth be told, the man has been in love with you since the moment he laid eyes on you. All you've ever been is friends, but he wants to be more. And he wants it so badly that the whole thing makes his chest ache. The only reason why he hasn't made a move in the almost fifteen years you've been friends is because as much as he loves you romantically, he doesn't want your relationship to change. He's afraid that if the two of you got together, you'd eventually break up and then he'd lose you for good.

"Right, so what's this about?" He asks before taking a sip from his own glass. For once, he's unable to read the situation. He almost always knows what's going on with you, but right now, he's got nothing.

"Well, speaking of Eddie, well, I sort of have a huge crush on him." Steve doesn't know why you're telling him this. He's known for a while. You're so obvious about it that it sometimes makes him cringe. He wishes he could give you some of his subtlety so you’d look a little more cool around Eddie.

"Duh." He's laughing now and for once, it's a joke you don't get, like it's something just for Steve and Steve alone.

"You know?"

"Y/n, all of Hawkins knows. You're not exactly subtle. But what does this have to do with me?"

"I was wondering if you maybe...would be willing to fake date me in order to get his attention." His eyes widen at your request. Whatever he thought you were going to say, it defintely wasn't that.

"Yeah, nice try. Not happening." He can't do it. He won't. He would do just about anything for you, but not this. This is where he’s drawing the line.

"You're not even going to consider it?" You're pouting now and if things were different, he'd kiss it away, or maybe he'd just give in because he almost always does when it comes to your silly ideas. This one, though, has got to be the silliest of them all.

"You said I could say no so this is me saying no." He crosses his arms over his chest in a sort of "that's final" manner and you know you should just forget the whole thing. It was all just a pipe dream anyway.

It’s not that Steve doesn’t want to help, it’s that he can’t. He would actually love to pretend to be your boyfriend and act all mushy with you like he’s wanted for years, but none of it will be real. It’s just going to be a fake relationship with fake feelings and fake kisses and he just can’t take that. It will all just hurt too much when he watches you running into Eddie’s arms when the thing is all over.

He already feels like a dick and seeing the dejected look on your face as you stir your soda with your straw is starting to feel like you stabbed him in the chest. And you might as well have. It would hurt much less.

Guilt is beginning to eat at him as he looks at you. That sad look on your face is making him reconsider. You do so much for him so he doesn’t know why he can’t do this little thing for you. It’ll be maybe a couple weeks tops, right? That wouldn’t be too bad. And not to toot his own horn or anything, but he’s a great actor. Well, he only thinks so because The Hawkins Post article that covered his fourth grade class’s performance of The Wizard of Oz applauded his role as Toto.

Maybe he can fake date you. Maybe it could be fun and he’s just overthinking it. He just wants you to be happy, and the thought of you possibly asking someone else is starting to make him feel sick.

“I guess I could just ask Robin,” you mumble, more to yourself than him, but he can still very much hear you. He can’t believe how quick you’re switching up on him, how quickly you’re able to find an alternate now that he’s said no. He’s usually your first and only option for things so now that you’re even considering asking anyone else-well, the knife has been twisted.

“I see how quick you are to replace me,” he grumbles. “And with Robin?”

“Well, who else am I going to ask? My first choice said no.”

“Or maybe you could cut the shit and just tell him how you feel. Eddie likes it when people are straight up with him.”

You know he’s right, but actually putting your feelings out there is terrifying, especially to one of your friends. You feel sick even thinking about it, the worst possible outcome playing in your head. You can vividly see Eddie laughing at you, the sounds echoing, sounding distorted, making you feel small and scared.

Yeah, there’s no chance that you’re letting that happen even though Eddie would never laugh at you because of something like that. If he were going to reject you, he’d let you down easy and be nothing but a gentleman about it.

“Alright, fine, fine,” Steve pulls you out of your thoughts. “Jesus, you’re lucky I love you.”

“Aww, I love you too, Stevie.” You’ve got on a smug smirk and he’s prepared to shut that shit down. As much as he loves you, he’s not doing this without something in return.

“Not so fast.”

“What?” You’re genuinely confused, convinced that it was a done deal and now you’re unsure if he’s actually going to go through with it or not.

“I mean, what do I get out of this? What’s in it for Steve?” He leans back against the booth, crossing his arms over his chest.

“The satisfaction of a job well done?” You ask with a shrug and he just shakes his head, unimpressed.

“If it works,” he scoffs. “What else?”

“My love and affection?” That should be a given.

“Boring,” he yawns. “You have to cover any family video shift I ask of you and you have to do my laundry for a month.”

“You’re kidding.” Your shoulders slump as you realize that you’re actually going to have to agree to his terms if you ever want to have a chance with Eddie.

“Afraid not. You didn’t seriously think I’d do it for free, did you?” You sort of did because he always does, but you suppose that this is much bigger than his other favors.

“I don’t know, maybe. But you’ve got a deal.” You reach across the table and put your hand out for him to shake.

“Really? That easily. Shit, you must be desperate.” He shakes your hand and that’s that. Steve is now officially your fake boyfriend.

“I am.”

“This better be worth it.” God, this is going to kill him, but anything for his best friend, right?

“Oh, it will be,” you tell him as you down the rest of your soda as you grab your purse that’s sitting next to you before you and Steve stand from your table and you walk side by side to the front where you pay for the meal. It’s the least you can do for Steve helping you out like this, right?

“You are such a dingus,” Robin tells Steve. He’s over at her apartment, the two of them talking over mugs of coffee at her kitchen table. He raced right over after breakfast with you to discuss the colossal mistake he just made, desperately wanting his other best friend’s advice.

“What the hell else was I supposed to do, Rob? She was looking at me with those puppy dog eyes.” He’s saying it like that was the only option he had when he could have easily said no and you would have dropped it.

“Jesus Christ, Harrington. Why can’t you just tell her that you love her?”

“And risk ruining one of the best friendship I’ve ever had? No thanks.”

“I can’t but also can believe you’ve gotten yourself into this. It’s just like you to help the woman you love get another man. Just so you know, I don’t support this.”

Robin loves you, you’re one of her best friends, and while she doesn’t think you ever ask too much of Steve, she does think that he tends to overlook his feelings to spare yours a lot of the time. He’d much rather risk his own happiness if it means he’s helping you in some sort of way.

While she loves that he’s willing to go above and beyond for you, she still thinks that’s it’s important that he takes care of himself. She just wants what’s best for him and hates that he’ll spread himself way too thin just to see a smile on your face.

“No one was asking you to,” he glares and she just mimics his facial expression. “I wasn’t asking for advice, I was just telling you what’s going on so you wouldn’t think it was real and blow my secret.”

“You’re pathetic,” she shakes her head. She honestly doesn’t know Steve still hasn’t told you the truth. The two of you could be married or at least engaged by now, but he’s too much of a chicken to just admit his feelings for you.

He’ll claim it’s because he doesn’t want to ruin the friendship, but Robin knows the truth. She knows that he’s just afraid of putting himself out there. She’s seen the women zipping in and out of his life and not one of them has stuck. As much as he claims he wants to love and be loved, he’s scared. Terrified, even. He’s convinced it will all just crash and burn and he’ll be all alone. Again.

“I know,” he whines, resting his head onto the table before quickly leaning back up and running a hand through his hair. “But hey, if said no, she was going to ask you.”

“Me?” She asks, her eyebrows shooting up as her big eyes widen. “I could have been her fake significant other? Shit, I would have done it for free.” Robin has always thought you were pretty and shit, having everyone think that you were her girlfriend would have been a goddamn honor.

“You’re not her type.” She knows exactly what he means by that, but she just feels like messing with him.

“Oh, and you are?” That’s salt in the wound and she knows it. But that doesn’t mean she’s going to take it back.

“You know what I mean,” he waves his hand in a dismissive manner. “And besides, you’re a terrible liar so it wouldn’t have worked out anyway.

“Well, I would have sold it much better than you,” she scoffs. “But maybe not since you always look at her with the longing stares. How she doesn’t know is beyond me. Anyway, I have to get to work. I’ll see you later, lover boy.”

As Robin leaves, Steve’s not so quick to get up. He just stares down into his coffee mug, gathering his thought about the whole thing. One the one hand, he wants to help you, but one the other, he’s already starting to feel hurt about deceiving his friend. Eddie’s someone he’s gotten really close to over the years and he’d hate to lose someone so special to him just because of something like that.

And what happens if you actually do end up with Eddie? Will Steve resent him for it? It wouldn’t exactly be fair since Eddie has no idea that Steve is in love with you, but he just doesn’t think he’d be able to stand by and watch the two of you behave like a couple when that’s all he’s wanted pretty much his whole life.

But there’s no turning back now. He’s going to stick it out because he doesn’t want to let you down. He’s going to have to see this through, watching you use him to get another man while having no idea that’s he’s fallen madly and deeply in love with you.

He drains the last few sips of his coffee then puts the mug in the dishwasher before heading out, making sure to lock Robin’s door behind him. He gets into his car and sits for a second, thinking to himself that he’s about to be in for one hell of a ride.

#stranger things #steve harrington #steve harrington x fem!reader #steve harrington x y/n #steve harrington x you #steve harrington x reader

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3seven-gambler · 10 months ago

Text

#⌁꒰Buγing Sɑnɾio plushies thɑt ɾemind γou of them ; JJK men꒱

⋆ word count: 625 ⋆ genre: fluff ! ⋆ includes: gojo satoru, ryomen sukuna. ⋆ a/n: no proof read, sukuna might be a bit out of character but oh well. more characters might be added later on here.

࿐♡Ꮐꮻꭻꮻ Ꮪꭺꭲꮻꭱꮜ

Gojo had proposed to go out on a date to the shopping mall, and of course you accepted. After going through almost all the stores, you spot a Miniso. You practically begged him to take you inside the store and, since he can't say no to you, he accepted.

While browsing all the shelfs stuffed with all kinds of products with your favorite characters on them, your eyes were caught by a Cinnamoroll plushie behind all the new arrivals.

You got it in your hands and stare at it for a while. It had a sort of black shirt along with a pair of round black glasses on top of his head.

Your boyfriend, who had been walking around just grabbing stuff he knows you use, came back to where you were.

You then turn your gaze, thoroughly staring at him. And then back to the plushie.

-"Uh, honey, what are you doing?" He asked confused.

-"This... It's... You" you finally spoke, a smile adorning your face.

-"What is me?"

-"Look!" You turned around and practically put the plushie onto his face. -"This Cinnamoroll plushie looks just like you, 'toru!"

He left out a soft chuckle, not because of the plushie (or just a bit) but because of how excited you were.

-"Can we buy it? Please, 'toru, can we?" You said in a child like voice.

He let out a sigh while smiling, you are indeed his spoiled little s/o.

-"Of course we can, beautiful"

-"Yes! Thank you... Thank you... Thank you" you said between the kisses you gave him all over his face.

He will do whatever you say just to see you smile.

࿐♡Ꭱꭹꮻꮇꭼɴ Ꮪꮜꮶꮜ��ꭺ

-"What the fuck is this?" He asked as soon as you took out a Hello Kitty plushie out of a bag.

-"Uh, a Hello Kitty plushie, duh"

You had gone for some stuff you needed at the supermarket and, as you were about to pay, you saw a Hello Kitty plushie that reminded you of your grumpy boyfriend.

-" It's just that as soon as I saw it I remembered you! So I bought it for you~" you happily explained to him.

-"Why would you remember me after seeing a Hello Kitty plush toy? It's ridiculous" he stated annoyed.

-"But look at her! It's just the clothes and all, it's like you!" you said pouting.

-"Whatever..." he said as he walked away.

You were used to this kind of attitude coming from him, but this time his indifference had made you feel really sad.

-"I'm sorry" you let out in a shaky voice with a few tears forming in your eyes, as you hugged the plushie.

As soon as Sukuna noticed the change in your demeanor he went back to you.

-"Why are you crying?" he questioned as he carefully grabbed your face with both of his hands.

-"I'm sorry, I didn't want to bother you with this" you said as you pointed to Hello Kitty -"I just thought that at least it would make you laugh a bit but it was a stupid idea, I'm sorry"

One thing Sukuna hated the most was to see you cry and, now that he had you crying in his arms because of his attitude he felt the worst scum in the world.

-"Shit, I'm sorry y/n, I don't think it's stupid I- I like it..."

He saw as your eyes recovered a bit of their usual glint. -"You do?" You said with hope in your voice.

-"Yes, so stop crying, I hate to see you like that"

He made sure to give you a wet but sweet kiss to make sure you know that he was sorry.

-"Can we cuddle with it?" You asked after the kiss.

He groaned -"Fine"

❥ 𝖱𝖾𝖻𝗅𝗈𝗀𝗌 𝖺𝗋𝖾 𝖺𝗅𝗐𝖺𝗒𝗌 𝖺𝗉𝗉𝗋𝖾𝖼𝗂𝖺𝗍𝖾𝖽. || 𝖣𝖮 𝖭𝖮𝖳 𝖱𝖤𝖯𝖮𝖲𝖳/𝖳𝖱𝖠𝖭𝖲𝖫𝖠𝖳𝖤.

#jujutsu kaisen #jjk #jjk x reader #jujutsu kaisen x reader #jujutsu kaisen reader insert #gojo satoru x reader #gojo x reader #gojo satoru fluff #gojo fluff #gojo satoru x reader fluff #sukuna #ryomen sukuna #sukuna x reader #ryomen sukuna x reader #sukuna fluff #ryomen sukuna x reader fluff #jjk reader insert #jjk gojo #jjk sukuna

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perlukafarinn · 6 months ago

Text

Usually when Claire works the closing shift at Rocky's, she and Dean will wind down with a couple of beers at the end of the night. It's a nice little ritual Claire looks forward to every time she comes around, though she'd never admit as much out loud.

Tonight, Dean has mixed up a batch of one of his specialty cocktails - The Queen of Moondoor. It's bright, a sort of red-orange color, and has a sweet and sour taste that makes Claire's jaw ache.

"Do you like it?" Dean asks, like Claire's opinion really matters.

She nods. "It's good."

She's not lying. Dean isn't really a cocktails kind of guy but he's put a lot of effort into every detail of Rocky's. From the various pride flags carefully hung behind the bar, to the salt painted into the windowsills, every inch of the place is meticulously planned out. Rocky's isn't officially a hunter's bar - though it is explicitly a gay bar - but it's become an unofficial gathering place of queer hunters across the continental US.

Even the cocktails on the menu are Dean's own invention. All of them have a backstory, some of which Claire isn't privy to. She knows enough to understand why the Queen of Moondoor is Dean's personal favorite, though.

It also packs a surprising punch. Two drinks in, and Claire already feels herself tilting from tipsy into full-on drunk. She slows down her pace.

"How long are you planning on sticking around now?" Dean asks, because free booze is never just free booze with him. There's always the interrogation. He's almost as much of a mom as Jody is.

"A few days," Claire answers vaguely. "Maybe longer, who knows. I don't have any hunts lined up right now and you pay pretty well."

She knows for a fact he pays her double what he does his other bartenders. Neither one of them ever mentions it, though.

"Weren't you heading back to Jody's?"

Claire shrugs, uncomfortable. She had been, before last night's call with Kaia. They're good most days, even with the strain of Claire being on the road half the time, but sometimes when they talk, they'll hit on a sore topic for one of them and things will get stilted.

The anniversary of Mom's death is coming up in a couple of weeks. Kaia wanted to join Claire for her visit to the cemetery.

"What's on your mind, Strawberry Shortcake?"

Claire is supposed to roll her eyes now. Tell Dean to fuck off and mind his own business.

She doesn't really want to do that. But she doesn't know how to explain to Dean what she's feeling, either.

"It's stupid," she says. "I'm being dramatic."

"You? Never."

Claire scoffs, and Dean's eyes soften.

"You can talk to me, you know."

"Yeah," Claire says, because she does. He gets her, weirdly enough. They get each other. It probably doesn't say great things about either of them. "I just... I feel like I'm making up problems."

Dean takes a sip of his drink. It's difficult to look dignified, drinking out of a straw, and he does not remotely manage it. "Let me be the judge of that."

"Kaia wants-" Claire stops herself, because that's not the point of it. "I - we're good. Me and Kaia. I don't feel ashamed about it."

Dean waits for her continue.

"I'm a lesbian," Claire adds, even though, duh.

"Congrats," Dean says, and it feels like it could be sarcastic but it's not. He means it.

"I don't think -" no, that's not right. "I know my parents wouldn't be okay with that."

The statement lands heavily between them. It feels bitter on Claire's tongue, an ugly truth held at bay for far too long. She feels awful saying it, like she's failing her parents. Speaking ill of the dead. But it's the truth.

Mom and Dad would make these... comments. And Claire remembers each one with perfect clarity, because she's known something was different about her for a very long time. She knew those comments were aimed at her, even if her parents didn't.

They were wonderful parents in every other aspect. Up until they abandoned her, that is. Claire still can't help but feel like she's failing them, sometimes, being who she is.

"They might have changed their minds," Dean offers. "If they'd known. It's different when it's your own kid."

Claire eyes him, curious. "Was it different for your parents?"

Something crosses over Dean's expression, too quickly for Claire to catch it.

"No," he admits after a beat. He runs his hand over his face. "Maybe - Mom might have been fine with it. She didn't know."

Claire swallows. "But your dad did. And it wasn't different."

She feels cruel, pushing the topic. But there's some perverse part of her that needs the confirmation. Dean reminds her of herself, in a lot of ways. He'd say it was the other way around. If he experienced the rejection that Claire feared as a kid, the one that still scares her even if it's purely theoretical now, then that proves something.

"It wasn't," Dean admits. "But Jimmy Novak was no John Winchester."

Claire's chest aches. There's some hollow triumph at the abstract confirmation of her worst fears. Mostly, she just feels like shit.

"For what it's worth," Dean adds, "I think you're perfect. No notes."

Embarrassingly, Claire's lower lip wobbles. She clears her throat, looking off to the side as she tries to regain her composure.

"You think you're my dad or something?" she asks, voice rough.

Dean shrugs, looking embarrassed himself. "I kind of think of you as my kid, yeah. If that's okay."

Claire crosses her arms, feeling warm and aching and off-kilter. "I - yeah. Yeah, that's fine."

#dean and claire #spn #supernatural #spn fanfic #perlukafarinn writes #lesbian claire novak #bi dean winchester #i had a bunch of ficlet ideas based on my last post about dean running a gay bar post-canon #this was the most compelling to me but i'm not sure i got it across right #but i had to get it out there anyway

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forever-rogue · 2 years ago

Note

Hi, I love your blog so much it's amazing.

I was wondering if you could write some Joel Miller being jealous? Like they're in some kind of relationship but Joel doesn't want to put a word to it and arrive to some camp and a guy from there is trying to flirt with reader but she just has eyes for Joel, could be the first I love you confession from him, to make things official between them? Fluff because my heart can't handle anything else :').

AN | Jealous!Joel? Okay, okay, I see you!

Pairing | Joel Miller x Fem!Reader

Warnings | Language

Word Count | 2.5k

Masterlist | Joel, Main

─── ･｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

Joel Miller wasn’t a relationship type of guy; he hadn’t been for a long time and it seemed pointless to start now. And that’s exactly how you found yourself in a sort of relationship with him…a situationship if you will.

He also wasn’t the jealous type either. You weren’t his girlfriend, or his partner, or what have you. You happened to be another person living in Jackson that he spent an inordinate amount of time with and had sex with. Lots of sex…he liked to think of it as stress relief. Yeah. That’s it - stress relief. Everyone could use some of that given the current state of the world.

But, in conclusion, you weren’t anything more to him than anyone else.

So why did he experience a definitely-not-jealous-feeling deep in the pit of his stomach when he saw you talking to one of Jackson’s newcomers?

He wasn’t jealous. No. Nope. Definitely not.

He just wanted to strangle any man that talked to you, or looked in your direction. It was a totally normal reaction…or at least that’s what he tried to convince himself.

─── ･｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

“Joel?” you found him stalking through downtown and had rushed to catch up with him. You hadn’t seen him in the last couple of days and when you had he’d barely spoken a word or even graced you with a look.

You could see his shoulders stiffen for a moment but he slowed his stride so you could catch up with him. You quickly fell into stride, but you could sense that he was in a mood. You nudged your arm against his and he grunted in response, “what?”

“What?” you parroted back at him, frowning in response, “or like what’s been up with you lately?”

“I have no clue what you’re talking about,” the man was stubborn beyond measure sometimes. You huffed and waited for him to expand but he refused to give in to you, “been busy.”

“Busy,” he refused to look at you, but he could feel you glowering at him, “we’re all busy, Miller. That doesn’t mean we don’t make time for each other.”

“You expect me to make time for you?” his twang came out as he stopped suddenly and you almost tripped over your own feet as you stopped as well. He crossed his arms over his broad chest, head cocked to the side. Your expression clearly said duh, “and just why would I do, sweetheart?”

“You’re being a jerk,” you pushed his shoulder, gently, although you doubted you could really do much damage to him, even if you wanted to, “last time I checked I thought we enjoyed spending time together. But over the past few days you’ve had such a-a bee in your bonnet.”

“Last time I checked I didn’t owe you anything,” and oh. Those words definitely stung, “we aren’t anything.”

“Oh wow,” you were hurt, but you weren’t about to let him know how much, “that’s rich coming from you. I don’t know what your problem suddenly is, but if you’re going to be a jerk, you can fuck off. And next time you need something, don’t bother knocking at my door. But if you decide to get over whatever this is, or want to talk to me like a grown man, you know where to find me.”

Your reaction had left him stunned; he knew you could hold your own when you needed to, but you’d never talked to him like that before. In that moment you definitely weren’t that soft, sweet girl he’d grown to love. Love. But he’d never admit it; truthfully he might not have even come to that realization just yet.

You stomped away, leaving him standing there and staring after you, a dismal expression on his face. He might have been a quiet man, but he wasn’t often left speechless. You’d just managed to do so.

─── ･｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

You made it a point to avoid him over the next couple of days, figuring that if he really wanted to make things right he would come to you. You missed him, admittedly, but decided to throw yourself into doing things around town to keep your mind occupied.

That’s how you’d gotten to know the newcomers to Jackson. There were a few women and teenagers, along with some men. For the most past, they were all kind and wanted to keep out wherever they could.

One of the duties you least liked was being put in charge of one of the community gardens. You had a green-thumb adjacent at best, and didn’t want to be the only one responsible for any bad vegetables or fruits, so you had recruited Max, one of the newbies, to assist you. If you were going down, he was coming right along with you.

You liked Max, so far. He was around your age, handsome in a tall, dark, and roguish way, with a nice smile and good sense of humor. And, unlike men had done since the dawn of time, he didn’t make you feel uncomfortable. So, you had decided, he was going to be your friend.

“You’re horrible at this,” Max laughed as you fumbled around with some tomato vines, trying to get the ripe fruit without destroying anything else, “how are you making this so difficult?”

“Shut up,” you groaned but it quickly turned into a laugh as you fell onto your bottom from how you were teetering and crouching. You managed to knock the whole plant down (sorry tomatoes), “oops.”

Max had dropped the small shovel he had been working with, head thrown back as he laughed, “and you’re clumsy on top of it. I’ll remember that for the future.”

You grabbed a small handful of soil and threw it over at him, “bold of you to assume that we’re ever hanging out again after this. You’re bullying me!”

“So dramatic,” he snorted in amusement as he brushed off the dirt and came over to you, offering you his hand to help you to your feet, “come on, I’ll let you bully me in return.”

You took his hand and he gently hoisted you to your feet. You almost stumbled into him, but caught yourself by putting your hands on his shoulders as his found purchase on your waist. You looked at him in surprise and he smiled softly, causing you to relax. He was so close, and pretty, and nice, and you could just lean in and kiss him. Max must have been thinking the same thing because he started to lean in too. A shiver of excitement ran down your spine, until-

“Get your hands off of her,” the two of you jumped apart at the sound of his very angry voice. Your face flushed with warmth, a combination of being caught red-handed and annoyance because you weren’t technically doing anything wrong. Max’s glance shifted over to Joel and then back to you, “now take a step back.”

“What the hell are you doing here?” you hissed at him, “why are you here, Joel?”

“Are you two…?”

“No.”

“Yes.”

At the sound of Joel’s answer your eyes widened in surprise as your jaw almost dropped to the ground. Max held up his hands in a sign of surrender as he started to slowly back away, “hey man, I didn’t know she was your girl.”

“Don’t worry Max,” you offered him an apologetic look, “I didn’t know that either.”

“I gotta go, but I’ll see you around,” he said sheepishly, “bye!”

He almost ran off, leaving the two of you there, the tension so thick. After a moment you turned towards him and shook your head. You weren’t quite sure what to say so you decided to just walk past him, but not before giving him a full glare, “you’re such a dick sometimes. First you shove me away like I’m nothing and now you act like I’m yours. How about I make the final decision? We, you and I, are done. Whatever you want to call it, it’s over. Maybe then you can figure out your own feelings.”

But the man wasn’t about to just let you go. No, that was not his style.

His fingers wrapped around your wrist and his strong grip kept you from walking away.

“Stay,” he insisted gruffly, causing you to pout in that way that always made his knees weak.

“Why? Are you going to apologize?”

He remained silent and you could see that the answer to that was clearly no. You huffed as you pulled your hand out of his and started to walk away. He remained silent as he watched you go. He could have just said everything he wanted to and gotten it all out there but…he’d chickened out.

“Fuck,” he groaned, “fuck.”

─── ･｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

You didn’t run into Joel again for almost a week. You wondered if it was partly him avoiding you or you just didn’t happen to cross paths. Jackson was only so big; you knew the truth.

But as your feelings would have it, you really, really missed the man. He’d become such an important and vital part of your life and not having him around felt like you were missing a huge part of your heart.

When you decided that you couldn’t take it anymore, you made a plan to take matters into your own hands. You left your place and made the short trek over to his, knocking on the door loudly. He was home; you could see the light and if he had sort of sense, he would open the door.

After a few long moments of buzzy anticipation, you heard his familiar footsteps come towards the door. He opened it slowly and his brown eyes widened when he saw that it was you. He was a mixture of confused and happy.

“What are you…?” he didn’t get the opportunity to finish his question, instead watching as you made your way inside, brushing past him and causing sparks to shoot down his spine.

“Can we just talk?” you were already in the kitchen, leaning against the counter as you looked at him softly. You couldn’t help it; you were a sucker for this man.

“Yes,” he agreed, coming in and mirroring your position on the other side of the counter. You wanted to be made, or at the very least annoyed, but you couldn’t find it in your heart, “I’m sorry for what I said.”

“Which part?” if he thought you were letting him off easily, he was so wrong, “the part where you said we were nothing, or the part where you changed your mind - unilaterally I might add - and decided we were something?”

“Both,” he pinched the bridge of his nose and let out a long sigh, “I was an idiot.”

“Yeah,” you agreed, “you were. What changed your mind?”

“That kid,” you could see the tick in his jaw as he frowned deeply. Ahhh. Yes, you knew exactly what was going on; Joel Miller was jealous. He just wasn’t going to admit it in those terms.

“His name is Max,” okay, maybe now you were just doing it to get a rouse out of him, “and he’s perfectly nice. He was just helping me.”

“He wanted to do a little more than help,” the man tore his gaze from you and huffed.

��Joel Miller, you’re jealous,” your smile was practically stretching from ear to ear as you beamed at him, “just admit it! That’s what all this has been about?”

“I’m a grown ass man,” he sounded anything but, “I don’t get jealous.”

“Okay, so you weren’t jealous just…something incredibly like it?” you asked. He shrugged dismissively in response but gave away no emotions or anything, “huh, that’s interesting.”

“It’s not, no. I’m not the-”

“I get jealous too sometimes,” you admitted sheepishly, hiding your face in your hands, embarrassed to admit it out loud, “when those women practically throw themselves at you. Makes me want to…I don’t know, show them you’re mine.”

“What are you-”

“You’re such a man,” you flopped your head to the side, “those women - and men - love you. You’re sexy, and smart, and lots of other things, but apparently so oblivious. But I guess that doesn’t matter though.”

“What do you mean?” he was leaning closer now and you could smell his familiar scent; it made you want to curl up with him and let him swallow you whole.

“You said we weren’t anything so,” ugh. You wished you didn’t get so emotional over this, “it doesn’t matter what I think or want. I shouldn’t have assumed anything.”

“I lied,” and it was oh so hard for him to admit that, “that day. I was just…mad - not at you. I just thought, when I saw you with all the new people, that you liked them and they were all over you, especially that one kid-”

“Max.”

“Max,” he didn’t like the taste of the name in his mouth, “I just figured you’d want someone like that and not me.”

“You’re a fool,” you shook your head in disbelief, “I’ve never wanted anyone but you.”

“I never…putting labels on things seems trivial,” he whispered, “how can what you mean to me be summed up with one word? I just never thought about it; it never meant you didn’t mean everything to me.”

"I…" you felt a prickling at the back of your eyes that caused you to try and blink it away, "do you mean that?"

"Yes," he reached over, hesitantly at first before settling his hand on your face brushing your tears away with his thumb, "I mean it. You're very…important to me."

"You're important to me too," you put your hand on top of his and gave it a gentle, tender squeeze, "we don't have to put labels on anything. Just as long as we're on the same page about everything."

"You're mine," he promised and you felt yourself practically glowing. His words made you feel all warm and fuzzy, butterflies fluttering in your tummy. You nodded happily, "I know I'm not great with a lot of things but I do love you. I hope you know that."

"Hmm," you hummed as you closed your eyes contentedly, "I love you, even if you're a stubborn, tough man."

"Enough to accept my apology?" he had his answer already but needed to hear you say it. You rolled your eyes playfully.

"I suppose," you leaned in closer and smiled softly.

"Enough to let me kiss you?"

"Definitely."

#joel miller #joel miller x reader #joel miller x fem!reader #joel miller x you #joel miller imagine #joel miller one shot #pedro pascal #tlou #tlou hbo

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trippinsorrows · 2 months ago

Text

without you + four

authors note: damn. it's been a minute. wanted to at least update this story for ya'll before christmas. i'll try my best to not make the next update take as long.

warnings: none

song inspo: be without you by mary j. blige

one + two + three

words: 5k

“Ooooh, this some nice white people shit.”

“Alexis!”

Leave it to this girl to always say some out of pocket shit at the wrong time. You offer an apologetic gaze to the workers who cast her an almost strange look at her outburst before elbowing your best friend. “Bitch, would you shut the fuck up.”

She sucks her teeth, offering an excuse versus an explanation. “What I say?” She gestures around the backyard that’s just about fully decorated. “You know black people. We usually got that one nice centerpiece of them big ass balloons and a Sam’s or Costco sheet cake for baby showers. That’s about it.” Rolling your eyes, she just has to add on. “It’s like when we have a funeral, and they done put Grandma Rose in them ghetto ass clouds talking about some sunrise to sunset.”

At that, you have to laugh. “Okay, you not wrong there.”

“I’m never wrong. Duh.”

“Whatever.” You take in once more just the opulent display that Alexis and Kaylah have been working on over the past few weeks. Initially, they wanted to find a venue to rent, but considering this baby shower will only include close friends and family, a venue seemed like too much. Not to mention that Joe has been adamant about trying to keep this pregnancy as private as possible. Not necessarily from a place of wanting to hide it. No, if that was the case, he wouldn’t have shared some of the maternity pictures you took not even two weeks ago to his Instagram.

Or even some faceless photos of Callie.

But, that’s something he can control. A sharing he has autonomy over and full say in. Paparazzi crashing your baby shower is not, thus the two of you deciding that the shower should just take place at your home.

And given the massive size of not only the actual house but your backyard, it’s a great decision.

“It’s all looking so nice.” Kaylah’s voice enters the conversation as she walks over, clipboard in hand and a smile on her face. “How you doing, mama bear?”

Rolling your eyes, you answer honestly, “feeling big and pregnant.”

“Well….”

“Shut up, Lex,” you mutter, rubbing your belly. “These babies have definitely been kicking my ass with this back and breast pain.”

Granted, being five months pregnant with triplets, it’s an expected sort of discomfort. It’s helped immensely to have a fiancé that’s home and attentive and always willing to do whatever he needs or rather, whatever you need. He’s taken over Callie duties on the evenings where you just feel tired. He cooks most nights, partially because he knows your feet hurt and are swollen usually. But also, that little traitorous little girl of yours has made it clear she prefers daddy’s food over mommy’s food. He’s even gone as far as calling your mom and asking for tips on how to do Callie’s hair, as your ever growing belly has made that a little bit more difficult.

Put simply, he continues to be the perfect man. You couldn’t have asked for a better partner in life.

Kaylah moves closer, hand on your stomach. She, along with other close family and friends, never need to ask. It’s just the strangers who you don’t know that need to stay six feet away at all times. “I can’t believe we’re only four months away from meeting them.”

Alexis shakes her head. “Earth, Wind, and Fire truly have no idea what kind of big ass, loving, chaotic family they’re about to be born into.”

Blowing out a breath, you scold her, “girl, how many times I gotta tell you to stop calling them that?”

“Would you prefer Thing 1, 2, and 3?” No answer is all the answer she needs. “That’s what I thought.” And, of course, she has to just sneak on in there another attempt. “If you would just tell me the sexes—”

“Ain’t happening.” You shut that shit down real fast. “Joe and I already made it clear. We’re not revealing that until the shower.” A special thing kept between yourself, your fiancé, and the child you already share, as Callie was present for your last checkup appointment where you were able to find out the sexes.

“Bitch, the shower is literally tomorrow.”

“And you, along with everyone else, will find out tomorrow then.” Alexis is visibly, playfully annoyed, as Kaylah only laughs.

“I understand. We’re just excited. That’s all.”

And, you get it. The farther along you get in your pregnancy, the more excitement you feel at getting to meet your babies. All the shopping, the setting up of the nurseries (you and Joe decided on two rooms), even the deciding of the names. Even more, it’s been so special to have a partner in all of this. You might not have gotten that with Callie, but you’re damn sure getting it now, and it feels good.

—------

“I don’t know if I should take her to Disney by myself.”

Joe’s seemingly random statement takes you by surprise. Turning to him with a frown, you ask, “what?”

He sighs, also angling his body to you while his focus remains on your belly. “You’re so far along in your pregnancy. Anything could happen.”

“But, it won’t,” you stress, reaching up to palm his cheek. “Joe, I’ll be fine. My mom will be here with me. Both Kaylah and Alexis are less than 15 minutes away. I won’t be alone.” Because that seems to be what he’s thinking. “I want you guys to go. She’s really looking forward to it, and not just because the kid lives and breathes Disney.” Largely thanks to yourself and your mom. “Plus, that’s what she wants for her birthday.”

“Or a puppy.”

“I swear to God, if you or your mini me bring up that damn puppy one more time.”

He chuckles and moves to kiss your temple. “Just don’t want to not be here if you need me…”

“I’ll always need you in one way or another, Joe.” The God’s honest truth. “But, our daughter needs you more, and I want her to get in as much one-one-time with you before the babies arrive and she suddenly has to share you with three siblings.”

He eyes you, recognizing the unspoken concern in your statement. “You still think she’s going to get jealous?”

“I know she is,” you answer, matter-of-factly. “She’s a little kid. A mama and daddy’s girl. It’s natural. We’ll just have to make sure we reassure and look out for any signs.” Though you know not everything can be caught, and kids are sometimes good at hiding what they don’t want their parents to see. Granted, Callie has always been pretty open with you, so you hope that doesn’t change.

As the two of you move back to folding clothes, you find yourself changing the subject, “also, not related, but before my baby brain kicks in, I was thinking, what if I applied for a job at her school?”

It’s something you thought about when you and Joe toured the private school that Ellie attends, a nice, expensive but safe option considering sending Callie to public school in the fall doesn't seem like the best or smartest move.

Working at your daughter’s school is also just something that would make you feel a little better. A new school. A new educational milestone. You wanna support her and be there for her as much as you can.

However, the less than thrilled look on Joe’s face definitely takes you by surprise.

“You’re gonna work?”

It’s such a simple but silly question that makes you scoff quietly, “of course. Why wouldn’t I?”

He shrugs, grabbing another item to fold. A part of you is wondering if you’re even going to have room for the gifts you’ll receive at the baby shower tomorrow. You two have already gotten so many things, clothes especially. “Maybe because we’re about to have three newborns.”

Rolling your eyes, you calmly counter, “No shit. I’m not thinking of going back right away. Maybe next fall. They’ll be one. Callie will be starting first grade, so it would be nice to be working at the place where she, and they, eventually, will be at.”

When he doesn’t say anything, you’re inclined to prompt a follow up when he finally breaks his silence. “I don’t know how that’s supposed to work.”

Frowning, you ask, “what do you mean?”

Joe sighs, an edge in his voice. “You seriously want to go back to work when we’ll have three one year-olds?” And before you can respond, he continues. “Who’s going to stay with them, Y/N? You’ll be working. I’ll be on the road—”

“It’s not like we’ll be working 24/7, Joe. And we’ve got a huge support system here. Your family. Kaylah. Alexis. It’s not like we’re alo—”

“You don't need to be working.”

Silence.

It’s a good minute before you speak again. “Excuse me?”

He blows out a breath, running a hand through his hair that’s down and hanging. “I want you to stay home with the kids full time—”

“Joe.” Cutting him off isn’t the best thing, but your emotion is starting to get the best of you. “You know me. You know damn well that I’m not the stay at home wife type. I’ve worked consistently since I was sixteen years-old, and I’m not about to stop just because you want me to.”

You love what you do. Teaching might be a stressful career, but it’s always been more rewarding than anything. And truth be told, you can’t imagine a life for yourself where you’re not doing it in some capacity.

Joe’s voice is even, his expression stern. “It’s not about me, Y/N. It’s about what’s best for the kids.”

“And if what was truly best for them is for me to be here full time, then I would do that, but it’s not necessary—”

“And that’s where I disagree with you,” he pushes back, angled completely toward you, arms crossed. He shrugs. “I think it is.”

Partially taken back by his stance on this, it still doesn’t prevent you from standing your ground. “Well then, I guess we’re not on the same page here then.”

“Not at all.”

It’s a strange thing, being on such opposite ends of the spectrum. Joe has always matched you so well, and unfortunately, that can include the level of stubbornness. He is never one to back down, but neither are you.

So where does that leave you two?

“Mommy.”

Callie’s quiet voice breaks the intense impasse. Clearing your throat, you turn to her and force a small smile. “What’s up, sis?”

She moves her hands behind her back, teetering up and down on the heels of her feet. “Will you color with me?”

An easy answer if it will get you out of this room that’s suddenly filled with an uncomfortable amount of tension.

“Callie, mommy and I need a few min—”

“Of course, I’ll color with you, baby.” Again, you fully recognize that cutting him off is rude and not the best way to handle this. A petty way, certainly. But, he also knows that when you get pissed off, it’s best to just give you some space.

Even if it’s not the best thing overall.

Not even bothering to look back at him, you walk over and take Callie’s hand, escorting you both out the room with another word.

Left alone with his thoughts, still irked at the conversation as a whole, Joe quickly and easily realizes telling you what he wanted you to do wasn’t the right approach.

He knows he has good reasons for his preferred plan regarding the whole work thing, but he also knows you, or should know you well enough, to know that trying to tell you what to do has never and will never end well.

It’s just he definitely wasn’t expecting your approach and outlook on this job thing, even if it makes sense for your character and what he knows about you. There was just this part of him that was thinking you’d maybe take a couple years off before returning to teaching. Wait until the kids are a little older. That makes most sense to him, and he’s sure if he maybe responded better and was cleared on his reasoning, you’d have been a bit more receptive.

Maybe not have walked out.

Joe’s phone dinging in his pocket prompts him to pull it out.

Megan: Hey there! Just wanted to follow up and let you know the housing and travel arrangements are all finalized.

Megan: Though I’m curious, you requested a house instead of an apartment?

Megan: That’s a lot of room for just one man. 😉

Joe does find the added emoji a little strange, maybe unprofessional by some standards, but it’s the least of his worries right now.

Joe: Thank you for the update. My fiancée and daughter will be coming to visit when I have to stay for a few days for filming. Need the room for them.

And, it’s not set to happen very often, his management working with the film execs for a schedule that’s pretty flexible and allows him to be back home the same day for most of the filming. It’s just those few instances where he has to stay overnight, a couple days even, that he and you decided would be the times where you and Callie would stay with him.

Megan: Oh.

For some reason, Megan's response rubs him the wrong way, which is strange because up until this point, he’s had no issues with the young woman. She’s been professional, helpful, and informative.

Megan: I think it’s so cool how family oriented you are. So freaking sweet.

Joe truly has no idea how to respond to that, because it’s not inherently wrong. If anything, it’s just a compliment, but there’s something about it…

Megan: Anyways, won’t keep ya! Hope you have a great rest of your evening, babe! ❤️

It’s that message, however, that crosses the line, prompting him to reply and remind her of his boundaries.

And her place.

Joe: As you said, I’m very family oriented, so I’d prefer if you didn’t call me that. The emoji is also inappropriate and makes me uncomfortable.

Someone never uncomfortable with setting a boundary, he feels nothing when he sees the typing bubble appear and reappear several times before her response slides in.

Megan: I am SO SO sorry. I’m so used to working with women, so my dialogue is sometimes women coded. Again, my apologies. Have a great evening, Joe.

It’s a response that he appreciates and doesn’t feel the need to respond to. He said what he needed to stay. She apologized and made it right. It’s all water under the bridge.

Joe goes to lock his phone and put it away when a thought crosses his mind.

You have his passcode, are free to go through his phone, not something that you’ve ever done but something he doesn’t care about regardless. However, if you were to go through it for some reason, seeing this exchange could most definitely make you feel some type of way.

And, it’s not that he feels guilty, Joe knows he handled it appropriately and accurately. But, he doesn’t want you getting upset, doesn’t need you experiencing any kind of unnecessary stress.

Something he’s already inadvertently contributed to by not handing your argument a few minutes ago correctly.

None of that is good for you, and especially not for the babies, and when it comes to this pregnancy, he's not taking any risks.

Especially not with you as far along as you are.

Joe ultimately decides to delete the last three texts, letting the conversation stop at the “family oriented” comment from Megan.

Again, he doesn’t need a situation that’s not even a real situation being an issue.

It’s just better this way.

—------

You’re touching up your makeup, about to apply another coat of mascara to add the finishing touches to the complete look for the baby shower when you take a moment to appreciate your appearance. The white dress is beautiful against your melanin, and your mom did the damn thing with your hair. Ultimately deciding to wear your hair natural, mama opted to put it up in a beautiful, fancy updo that perfectly frames and highlights your beat face.

The final product is something stunning and perfect, the ideal look you wanted and were aiming for on this big, special day.

A knock on the bathroom door prompts you to lift your gaze to the mirror where you’re met with the lingering stare of your handsome fiancé.

Taking in his outfit, a white, short sleeved button up shirt, khaki shorts, topped off with white and gold Nike Freeks, a small smile falls on your face. It’s the perfect look for him. So Joe.

He walks in and closes the door behind him, coming to stand behind you. Your eyes shut as he holds you, hand on your bump, head in the crook of your neck.

“You look beautiful,” he compliments with a kiss pressed against your moisturized skin.

“Thank you, baby,” you murmur, reaching up and caressing the back of his head. “I’m sorry….”

“Naw, I’m sorry,” he interrupts in an equal voice, carefully turning you around as looks down with an apologetic countenance. “It wasn’t right for me to try to tell you what to do.”

“Maybe, but I wasn’t exactly trying to be receptive.” Sleeping on it helped you arrive at that realization that with all of the glaring, embarrassing clarity. “I think I’m so used to doing things my way that I forgot it isn’t just about me and what I want, it’s about us and what works for my family.”

“I don’t want to take away from your autonomy, Y/N.”

“I know that, Leati.” Hand moving to palm his face, you remind, “but these babies mean we’re all going to have to adjust one way or another. I might have to take some time off from working full time.”

Because as much as you love what you do, Joe was right in that your kids might need you to be home more. Full time, even. And while it would definitely feel a little off going into a school year and not having a classroom to call yours, taking care of your children and making sure they’re straight would more than fill that void.

“And, I’m going to see about making my part time schedule permanent,” he shares, moving his hand to your hip, giving a gentle squeeze when you open your mouth to protest. “It’s what I want, babe. I told you before, I don’t want to miss anything else.” He leans forward and kisses your forehead, suggesting, “maybe you could do something part time?”

“Maybe.” You shrug, reassuring, “regardless, we’ll figure it out and do what’s best not for you or for me but for our family.”

Because that’s what most important. Doing what’s best not for one but for all of you.

“We will,” he agrees, brushing his lips against yours, “I don’t ever want to go to bed not on good terms again, you understand me?”

Your thighs shouldn’t clench together the way they do at his commanding tone. It’s a serious thing that you agree with, but it’s the combination of his hard body against yours, his cologne invading your senses, and his minty breath against your face that has you pushing back….something.

“Yes, daddy.” A cheeky, double entendre that has his eyes narrowing.

There's something so innocent yet downright filthy as he promises in a darkened voice, “you know Imma fuck the shit out of you when all is said and done today, right?”

Fuck.

More fluttering, even if it’s something you already know. Because it’s been three days, and that’s far too long to go without your favorite pastime.

Hand moving over his crotch, you palm his dick through his pants. “Good, cause mama needs her fill.” Licking your lips, you add, “if we had time, I’d suck your dick right now.”

Because five months pregnant or not, so long as you can find a way to have this man inside of you, that’s exactly what you gon’ do. You both love sex too much to go too long without it. And, you both know the window in which you can realistically be sexually active during this pregnancy is waning, so you’ve gotta make the most of the time you do have.

Joe’s glare is light and teasing. “You such a nasty lil’ thing, you know that?”

Smiling and moving your arms around his neck, you cheekily remind him, “but that’s part of why you love me, ain’t it? Because I match your freak. Because mama loves when daddy puts her in her place. Ties, whips and bondage included….”

“Fuck, Y/N, you tryna make me hard?” A rhetorical but also serious question as he drops his hand to your backside, taking a handful of your supple ass in his big hands. “Want daddy to fuck his pussy with all them people down there and outside waiting for u—”

Several hard knocks on the door followed by a familiar voice. “Mommy! Daddy!” A smile breaks on your face as he closes his eyes, clearly trying to settle himself. “Grandma says it’s time!”

Laughing quietly, you call out, “okay, baby. We’ll be out in a few minutes.”

And, of course, your forever inquisitive child has to ask, “what are you guys doing?”

Joe chuckles and slaps your ass before moving to open the door, a grinning Callie smiling even harder as she looks up at her favorite person. “Daddy!”

Reaching for him, Joe doesn’t hesitate to lean over and pick her up. Your smile grows at the sight of Callie dressed in her adorable white and gold dress, your mom also styling her curls into two big pom poms.

She looks so much like Joe in this moment.

Callie gasps and compliments, “mommy! You look so pretty!”

“Thank you, Callie Bear.” You move over and kiss her cheek, deciding your current look is good enough.

It’s time to celebrate your growing family.

—------

The Baby Shower is something out of a dream.

Beautifully decorated, whites, blues, and pinks spread across your backyard, the aesthetic is very Pinterest aligned and everything you could have imagined for a day meant to celebrate the three lives you’ve created.

Guests including several members of Joe’s family like his mom and sisters, Jon and Josh and their families. Alexis, too, of course. Jadah was invited but unable to make it due to work obligations. Regardless, it’s a wonderful outcome, being surrounded by all the people you love the most here to be with you during this great time in your lives.

It’s a lot of laughter, a ton of great food, a tremendous amount of gifts, and an abundance of love that's felt from the moment you, Joe, and Callie walk out to the sound of Baby by Ashanti playing. Continues as there’s a damn near mass chorus that’s formed when When I See You by Fantasia comes on.

And the classic dances such as the Wobble and Electric Slide to Candy by Cameo that you most definitely get your big and pregnant ass to partake in.

But, one of your favorite parts has to be the photo station, several photos taken of yourself and Joe, various shots of his hands placed protectively over your stomach. Callie joins you for a couple photos as well, though it’s not missed upon you when she makes a face after one of Joe’s sisters jokingly makes a comment to her about “not being the only kiddo in the house anymore.”

It’s something you’ll certainly circle back around to at the end of the party, and it’s a time that’s nearing as the three of you start to kick off the moment everyone has been waiting for.

Joe’s deep voice travels across the spacious yard as he keeps an arm around you, Callie holds onto his shirt and stands on the other side of him. “We just want to thank all of you for taking time out to be here with us today.”

“You already know we weren’t about to miss this,” Trinity shouts.

Jon laughs and adds, “hell no. Can’t remember the last time we had a set of triplets join the family.”

“That’s cause it don’t happen a lot in general,” Alexis chimes, sipping on her Henny. “But Big Di—”

“Like Joe said,” you cut her off, already knowing where that was going. “We’re so happy and blessed to have you all in our lives, and it means the world to us that our children, the babies and Callie, have so many people who love them just as much as we do.”

Because knowing these amazing, wonderful people love your kids, even the ones that haven’t even arrived yet, as much as you and Joe do, truly is the best thing ever.

“But, we all know what ya’ll really wanna know,” Joe chuckles. “You wanna know the genders.”

A round of agreement prompts laughter with someone shouting out “hell yeah!” and Josh saying something about “winning the bet.”

As one of the workers brings over the three sets of balloons and pins, you and Joe make sure Callie has the right one before you take over. “Alright, is everyone ready?”

“Girl, would you hurry up? The new season of Baddies drops tonight!”

“Alexis, shut the hell up,” you laugh, shaking your head before turning to Joe. With a head nod, volume increased, you start with an excited tone, “the first baby is…..” And a small second of intentional delay before you pop the balloon, revealing blue confetti.

More rounds of applause and cheers as Joe proudly announces, “a boy.”

“I knew it!”

“The Tribal Chief got a tribal heir!”

“Whew, sis, start them kegel exercises now!”

When the celebration dies down, Joe and Callie focus on you for your turn. You lift up the balloon as he kicks off this time, “the second baby is….” Another intentional delay followed by a pop, revealing more blue confetti.

Eyes watering, you share loudly and proudly, “another boy!”

The pure excitement on everyone's face, including your mom who has silent tears streaming down her face, has you blotting at your eyes. This moment couldn’t be anymore perfect.

Joe moves to pick up Callie, kissing her cheek, asking, “you ready, Callie Bear?” She nods with excitement, you and Joe speaking in synchronization as you stand close to him with your hand on his stomach, “and the third baby is…..” Callie counts to three, closes her eyes, and pops the balloon.

And as pink confetti blends with the blue, she shouts with all the happiness, “a baby girl!”

The crowd of family and friends is the loudest during the last and final reaction, deepening your happiness, mimicking that of which was felt when Dr. Young revealed the sexes to you at your last appointment.

Two boys and one girl is literally perfect.

Your little family truly is truly going to be complete.

“And,” you cut through the cheers, one glance at your fiancé and daughter before you continue. “We have another surprise for ya’ll.”

“Don’t tell me there’s a fourth!”

Rolling your eyes at Jon, you cut right to it, “we’ve decided to share the names we’ve picked out.”

Gasps and excitement go around, Joe once again being the one to start off. “The firstborn boy will be named Iosefa Anoa’i.”

Iosefa.

The Samoan variation of the name Joseph.

Gaze on Joe, it fills your heart with so much love to see and hear the pride in his voice and on his face. Having one of your sons named after him is the least you can do for this man.

It’s what he deserves.

Clearing your throat, you provide the second name. “The second baby boy will be named Isaiah Anoa’i.” A strong, Biblical name. A name given in honor of your mom who has always loved said name. A moving gesture she clearly recognizes given the way she places both hands over her heart, mouthing ‘thank you.’

You mouth, 'I love you, too' back as both yourself and Joe redirect your focus to Callie for her big moment.

She giggles when Joe tickles her stomach before yelling, “and my baby sister will be named Moana Anoa’i!”

Deciding on names was such an intimate, thoughtful, moving process, and while they may not be as alike or even common as most triplet names, they mean something to you, Joe, and even Callie, who both yourself and your husband decided to let name her sister.

Callie is your firstborn, special to both of you in ways that you can’t describe, so giving her that only felt right.

And as you re-enter the group of friends and family who have gathered here for this special occasion, you can’t help but imagine what that’s going to be like when it happens again. On a different day. For a different reason. A year or so away, when you stand before them and God and take the man who completes you as your better half.

A beautiful day indeed, even if it’s more for show and aesthetic anyway.

Because unbeknownst to most of the guests, outside of Callie, your mom, and Joe’s mom, you have an appointment at the courthouse tomorrow morning at 10am sharp.

Because after tomorrow, not only will you and Joe Anoa’i share children.

You’ll share last names.

Because tomorrow is your wedding day.

You��ll officially be Mrs. Y/N Anoa’i.

#roman reigns fanfic #roman reigns fanfiction #roman reigns x black!reader #arisnotebook

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justa-fanfic-writer · 11 months ago

Text

Yandere Katakuri x Male Reader

Warnings: Yandere (duh), shit writing, male pregnancy-ish?

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Yandere Katakuri who. . . First met you when you were just walking around the town since you had nothing to do today, so you thought it'll be nice to have a walk around town, not after until you saw a particular red haired boy who looks like he was eating... donuts?

You were strolling around the town since you were still new, and you don't really know your way around, so you thought you might as well explore around but not until you heard some faint noise... it sounds like... someone is munching...? since you were curious where that munching sound was, you thought about going towards the sound since little ol you thought it would be a cute animal eating!

You walked faster to the sound since you had your hopes up thinking it was still a cute animal, not until it wasn't a cute animal... it was some random kid with spiky crimson hair eating what it seems to be donuts? he seems like he was... in bliss of some sort? It seems like donuts were their favorite food!

Your thoughts were cut off when he pinned you against the wall with a long Spear like trident around your neck. He Than spoke, "You saw it, didn't you?" You could feel and hear the anger and rage when he spoke. You were pretty scared, like c'mon, a sharp, pointy blade near your neck like ofc anyone would be scared AF you were almost about to try reasoning with him until you looked at his face and gasped the crimson Haired boy was ready to hear you call him a monster like how the others did and was about to stab you until you murmured softy that only he heard something that absolutely fuckin shocked him "what a cool mouth".

when he heard you spoke those words in your very mouth, his eyes widened in shock! You thought his mouth was cool...? Not disgusting? A curse? A pelican eel? A MONSTER???? He then looked at you again, still shocked, and took back his Spear like Trident back, and he then akwardly apologized. He started putting on his white and black patterned scarf, and you said in a nervous voice, "i-its okay..." And then there was akward silence there was tension still in the air and maybe a start of a new weird friendship? (I got lazy for the backstory here, bare with me here 💀)

Yandere Katakuri who. . . At first, he didn't fully trust you. I mean, come on, barely anyone even wanted to talk to him nor even think about going near him because they kept all called him a freak and a monster, but when you both got even closer he was... a bit happy he had someone to talk to, someone who cares for him, someone who would hang out with but as the days gone by you both were than became inseparable you both would always do everything together and at first Katakuri first saw you as a sibling someone to protect someone who he cares about more than anything but something changed than as you both grew older...

Yandere Katakuri who. . . Started to develop some feelings for you it was just small feelings not too much for him to notice it, but as the days went by he started to notice this weird feeling bubbling inside his heart and when he figured out he liked you in a romantic way he was shocked because he only ever saw you as a sibling! never as a romantic interest!

He full-blown denied that he like liked you, but when he actually looked closer... you were... pretty cute.

"WAIT NO! STOP THINKING THOSE THINGS. " he shaked his head to keep those thoughts away he only saw you as a sibling. NOTHING MORE NOTHING LESS, yes, that's right t-this feelings will go away y-yeah it will!

Surprise, surprised it didn't

Yandere Katakuri who. . . Is slowly becoming more touchy and possessive and even more obsessed with you day by day he holds your hand in public more often he always asks if you want him to carry you on his shoulder or want to eat anything and he'll immediately call the chef's to make you sweet goods you were kind of weirded out by this behavior but you just honestly thought nothing of it since you were practically his only friend, and you thought that he was just being insecure again and wanted to you to know that he will always be there for you and just needs your comfort and attention so you happily embraced this new him with with open arms!

Yandere Katakuri who. . . Took it in a wrong and thought you're letting him do this things to you since you LOVE him, right? R-RIGHT!? You wouldn't EVER think about LEAVING him because you happily accepted this.

RIGHT????????

Yandere Katakuri who. . . Had the courage to now actually confess to you and hoped you feel the same, and if you accepted it, then he is ABSOLUTELY ECSTATIC and will pick you up and give you a literal bone crushing hug!

but if you don't accept the same feelings well...

Seems like we're gonna have some problems...

Yandere Katakuri who. . . After you accept his proposal for you to be his lover, OH BOY, you're gonna have a field day for sure so better prepare for lots of cuddling and getting spoiled to the core because he will SHOW you that he will ALWAYS love you~<3

Yandere Katakuri who. . . Married you not too long ago, both of you said your vows, and before you two kiss, he encased the both of you in a mochi squared house since he is still insecure of his mouth and finally have the both of you in a passionate kiss that could make anyone gag on how sweet you two were

Yandere Katakuri who. . . Will let you have your freedom because he knows that if he cages you like a little bird forever, he will never have a TRUE real relationship with you and doesnt want that he wants to have a real and lovely relationship with you. <3

Yandere Katakuri who. . . Doesn't mind if you want children he would absolutely LOVE to have children with you~<3 its either you want some or he does.

[The end is so fucking random]

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I know this is kinda shit but... THIS IS THE BEST I COULD DO OKAY!?

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cum-a-calla · 1 month ago

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erm… predatory/prey play with roman in the workplace……

everyone is gone, like the building is CLOSED closed. he tries to corner his assistant (because duh) and be like hey… what if you let me fuck you? and she just slips her heels off and just. books it.

it’s all in good fun, until it’s not. hopefully no one sees the security footage of him dragging her back into his office by her ankles.

and then he [redacted] her [redacted] until they [redacted]. goodbye 2024.

“I’m bored.”

“Try… I don’t know. Doing some of the paperwork we have to get through. We only have to be here until everything is looked over, signed, filed…” You sigh a long, frustrated sigh, leaning on the desk with your head in your hands. “Roman. You have to throw me a fuckin’ bone, here.” The hour runs so late that everyone else is gone on this floor, only the two of you left. You’re not tired, necessarily, just so utterly over all this paperwork.

Roman smirks at his place behind his desk, flicking his gaze to you from his computer screen. He lifts an eyebrow. “I could throw you a bone.”

A glare has him giggling to himself, that infuriatingly high little inward laugh he does when he’s feeling smug, or clever. It’s actually kind of attractive in an odd way… but so many things about Roman are. It pisses you off. He shouldn’t be allowed to be so smarmy and careless and just… look like that all the time. Roman’s eyes are on yours again and it becomes humiliatingly clear that you’ve just been staring at him, tracing the planes and lines of his handsome features. He turns a little, giving you his full attention now. Tracing his fingertip along some of the papers on his desk. Knowing you’ll watch.

“Oh… are you thinkin’ about it?” Roman licks the edge of his teeth, grinning. “You’re thinking about it, aren’t you. I mean… nobody’s here, right?”

“Fuck off,” you say softly. A flush rises up your throat and you roll your eyes, ripping another sheet off the top of the stack to parse through it. “You wish.”

“No… no, I think you wish. I do.” Roman rises up from his chair and you’re forced to look up at him, hands freezing as you move to sign a report. “I think you give me those fuck-me eyes all the time. As if I don’t notice. Oh - don’t make that face. I notice, sweetheart. I know when I’m stuck inside somebody’s mind… stuck tight.”

You feel a strange sort of… something. Something that makes the hairs on the back of your neck stand up, just the way Roman’s standing up right now. Looming over his desk. Moving to walk around the edge. Out of pure instinct, you stand as well, palms on the surface as you rise up. Roman’s eyes are glittering, pupils wide and only getting wider.

“Roman…-”

“We should,” he says. “Fuck, I mean. You should let me bend you over this desk. Or… I mean, you could get down on your knees. I could get down on mine, whatever - equal opportunity fucking, right? I’m told I give some serious lip.”

He advances slowly, smoothly, like an animal as you edge toward the door. He’s smiling, but it’s not actually a smile at all. A wolf licking its chops. Your pulse quickens, a surge of adrenaline making your fingers tremble a little. Roman refuses to back down, his voice drawing lower, quieter, trying to hypnotize you like a cat with his words.

“Bad move, sweetheart. I can run. Probably had no idea, but all I did in fucking military school was get screamed at and run. I will catch you.”

Your breath catches in your throat and it’s then that the slice of fear starts mingling with something else, stomach doing flips. A spreading warmth seems to fill the basin of your hips, all that smoldering heat matching the fever-spots of flush in your cheeks. You slip off your heels, grateful for the carpeting - wearing thin tights might not fare so well on a hard, slippery floor while being chased. And that’s what this is, isn’t it? He’s going to chase you. A tiny shiver zips up your spine.

“I’m gunna give you a head start, just to level the -”

Before he can finish, you’re taking off. His laughter trails behind you, and after turning a corner in the endless rows of cubicles, you drop to your hands and knees and crawl, moving another couple rows over like that, holding your breath. There’s a manic thrill bouncing around inside your body, making you shake as you scuttle underneath a desk, both hands pressed over your own mouth. Somewhere nearby, there are soft, light scuffing sounds as he walks. Barely there, hard to discern. If he’s taken his shoes off, you’re fucked.

After a few agonizing minutes of trying to figure out his location by sound, he walks by. The sight of his legs walking away from you almost makes you gasp - almost. God, you can feel your pulse behind your fucking eyeballs. You inch forward little by little on your hands and knees on the carpet. Roman’s still slowly walking the other way. You rise up to a stand for only a fleeting moment before you stumble over your own goddamn feet, making a little sound as you land roughly on your hands and knees again. There’s a moment frozen in time in which you turn your head sharply to face Roman, and he looks behind his shoulder and sees you. There’s a flash of surprise on his face before he’s smirking, turning fully around, and you only make it a couple of steps before his fingers are digging into the collar of your shirt, yanking you back so that you fall down again, this time on your ass.

Limbs are pinwheeling for purchase - you twist in his grasp and he’s on top of you, laughing, practically panting with excitement. In a moment of blind panic, you slap him in the face and he reels a little. In that moment you scramble up and start running again, and he’s on your fucking heels. His laughter titters just behind you and it makes you giggle in return, giddy with the chase, with the weird combination of fear and arousal and anxiety making you throb. You throb everywhere - your pulse finds a loud, pounding home in the tip of your nose, your chest… your cunt.

Wheeling around a corner too fast, you trip again. Roman’s absolutely beside himself, laughing at you as he leans down and grabs your ankles.

“Hey, you really gave it your all,” he commends, voice dripping with derision. He flashes you a grin, all teeth as he starts dragging you backwards. You try to kick and wiggle, but Roman’s stronger than he looks - he has you in a solid grip, clucking his tongue at you. “No, none of that - you had your chances. I win, and I’m going to cum in your little cunt about it. Okay? That was the deal.”

Your skirt rides up and so does your blouse, everything coming untucked and rucking up. The carpet burns as he drags you across it, and you hiss as you squirm to escape it. Roman watches with a hint of amusement, uninterested in your struggle or your discomfort. He drags you all the way across the floor back to his office, and when you try to clutch at the door frame, Roman is swift to toss your legs to the side and take a step closer to kick it away. He finishes hauling you fully into the office and shuts the door, turning to you with his eyes all hooded and dark, cheeks red with excitement. The both of you tremble, the both of you utterly consumed by a manic sort of adrenaline high.

“Well, it’s not being bent over a desk, but - but I kinda like this better. More intimate, yeah? I get to watch you cum all over my cock. Lucky me - and lucky you,” he purrs, pushing your thighs open. When you lift yourself up on your elbows, he yanks your arms down by the wrists. “Dont. Give it up, honey - the struggle is really nice, don’t get me wrong. Cuuute, just fuckin’ cute as shit. But I’m getting impatient.”

He releases you to reach between your thighs, where he pulls at the fabric of your tights with both hands and rips them open down the center.

“Gotta invest in something that doesn’t get sold from a fuckin’ Walmart, babydoll. That was so easy it was barely fun.”

“Fuck you,” you mumble.

“Oh, you will.” Roman takes a moment to pull your underwear to the side. He runs his fingers along your slit, tracing the edges and folds of your pussy as he spreads it open, looking at it, barely teasing your clit. “You know how wet you are? Dripping. How fucking sad is that? Are you - oh, am I pissing you off? Making you all upset? You look like you wanna hit me. You wanna hit me again?”

You glare at him, opening your lips to say something about it when he laughs, shoving his fingers inside of you without warning, curling them, pumping them with a precision that has your glare dissolving. Moans take away all the words you had. Roman looks positively triumphant - he fucks them a little harder, a little faster, relishing the way you make those stupid, breathy sounds, the look on your face indistinguishable from pain. It excites him to think of that, too - hurting you a little.

“God, if you’re this fuckin’ whiny for my fingers, you’re really gunna love what comes next,” he murmurs.

Then you do slap him - but it can barely be called a slap at all. The impulse comes, you run with it in the heat of the moment, and a second too late you pull the slap a little and it barely registers. He blinks a little in surprise, fingers paused in their rhythm. He fucks them into you even harder as his eyes bore into yours, that delicate, angry vein showing on his forehead. His free hands rests on your inner thigh, gripping the flesh there. Keeping you spread.

“Not great,” he deadpans. “Try it again. This time, do it like you give a fuck about doing something right for once.”

You can do that. You can do that very well, and the crack of your open palm against the same cheek stings your hand. The flush to his face is immediate, and his eyes look black as he yanks his fingers out of your body again and he slaps you back with the same hand. He smiles as he watches you wipe your own cum off your cheek, tears welling up in your lashes. He tilts his head and pouts a little, undoing his slacks and pushing them down his hips. His cock bounces free, and the sight of it catches you completely off guard. It’s not that you’d ever had an expectation, or a particularly specific thought as to his size, but he is surprisingly thick. Long. His smooth, rippled cockflesh laced with veins. He grins, stroking it once or twice, and fuck, it looks gorgeous in his fingers like that as he teases himself.

“Yeah, I mean… at least I didn’t slap you with this, right? You wouldn’t even be conscious for what I’m about to do to you. But, you know… maybe another time.”

“Roman, seriously - you’re gunna have to… you know, take it - take it easy, okay?”

Roman’s eyes get absolutely dreamy, shining in the dimmed light and hooded by his lovely, low eyelids, wet lips parted as he crawls up over you. He leans in and lowers down until he can brush his lips just barely against yours, more a tease than anything else. He tilts his head and licks a wet stripe from the edge of your jaw up to your cheekbone, planting a wet, sloppy kiss there.

“Don’t you worry about that.” He reaches between your bodies and runs the fat, leaking head of his cock along your slit, slowly, up and down, back again. Every couple passes, he pushes the tip deliciously against your hole, rocking there but only barely. There’s a crease between his focused brows when he lifts to watch your expression, moving to keep your gaze even when you get embarrassed. “Look at you, all fuckin’ wriggly and full of shame. You getting desperate, sweetheart? Yeah? Wanna ask me for it?”

“Roman…”

“Mhmm?” Roman nuzzles playfully into your neck and nips at your throat, once, twice, a third time - this time hard enough to make you whine in that adorable way, your hips twitching. He chooses this moment to work more of himself in - only maybe an inch, just a little further, where he rocks infuriatingly slow again as he sucks a deep, dark bruise into your skin. He can’t wait to see what you do with that tomorrow - how you’re going to cover it up. But he’ll know. He’ll know it’s there. “Hey - go ahead. Ask for what you want.”

“Can you.. uh,” you mumble, nerves crashing under the sheer overload of sensation, of throbbing need. God, the entire fucking thing - the fear, the chase, the force, Roman being an insatiable goddamn beast hellbent on destroying you; it’s enough to melt your brain. But if finding a few more words is all that stands between you and the rest, then… “Can you please give me… more?”

“More of my cock?” Roman starts edging more of himself inside, a smooth, slow rolling of his hips, undulating. Each little thrust brings him closer to home, and you’re gasping. He fastens his lips to a new spot on your neck, at the juncture of your shoulder. “Just trying to take it easy, right? Be patient - you’ll get it all, honey.”

Finally, he’s worked himself balls-deep. He rolls so softly, so very tenderly against your cervix, the tip of his thick cock kissing against it over and over in a maddeningly erotic tease. Is it still a tease if there’s no room left to fuck into? He pushes your thighs open and lifts himself up a little, looking down at you. His cheeks are as flushed as yours. You’ve never noticed just how many freckles he has over his cheeks and nose, how they dot him delicately like a surreal expanse of dark stars in a pink sky.

“Touch yourself. Make yourself cum, just like this.”

Zero hesitation - you push your hand down between your thighs, between your bodies, and expertly circle your clit with your fingers. The natural clench against the stretch of him feels otherworldly. The bright, electric sensation of stimulation on the soft cusp of your cervix adds an entirely new layer to it; it’s sharp, but pleasantly so. You sneak a peek between your bodies at the way he rolls his hips, down to where he only slightly moves in and out of you. He keeps you impossibly full. You let your head fall back down and catch his smug lips, the way he licks them.

“Fuck… I’m close,” you whine.

“I know… I know.” God, he almost sounds kind. If you weren’t looking directly at him, you’d believe it. “Do it for me. You’re this tight already… I wanna know what it feels like to have your perfect little pussy milk me dry. You have no idea how long I’ve wanted to empty my fucking balls into you, you know that?”

“Oh - fucking…- shit-” Your entire body seems to seize up, and all that molten, coiled tension melts in a series of devastating waves, pulsating, rushing from behind your eyes all the way down to your toes as he continues to rock into you like that through the crash of your orgasm. His breathing gets erratic and he’s leaning down to lick at your throat. After you move your hand to cling to him, he starts to really fuck into you, rearing back just to slam his cock back inside. Suddenly you’re skating on the shockwave of a brand new explosion of pleasure as he sees fit to set a punishing new pace. The curve of his cock finally tends to all those barely-touched nerves in his full, brutal strokes, balls audibly slapping against your body.

“Yeah - keep fucking cumming. It’s okay, I know - it’s a lot to take. You’re doing so good - look at you. Like you were made to take my cock, huh, baby? I’m gunna fill you up, okay? You ready?” His voice is drawn high, soothing, making your head spin as you try to fit the tone of his voice with the sly, mean smirk on his lips. He reaches a hand up and presses his fingers against your lips, sliding two of them over your tongue. “Good girl - good fucking girl.”

The feeling of your lips and tongue on his fingers, the sounds you make, the way you keep clenching around him - it’s the perfect storm. His hips falter at the same time his moans do, and his cock is pulsing inside of you. He pushes deep, fingers matching as they wander toward the back of your throat until you whine, gagging, grabbing at his wrist to stop him. Your teeth scrape his knuckles and he shudders as he moans, rutting his hips in time with each thick spurt of his cum. There’s a wonderful sort of haze where both of your bodies are coming down, muscles relaxing. The beginning of the afterglow. Roman removes his fingers as his body stills, dick softening inside of you. He sticks those fingers into his own mouth without even thinking about it, tasting you, your saliva. Finally he separates from your body and pats the inside of your thigh, giving it a strangely affectionate squeeze. It feels more intimate than everything else you’ve done, in some weird way: the way he didn’t look at you when sucking your saliva off his fingers, the tenderness of the squeeze. Those things go quietly inside of you, somewhere else to peruse later. Things Roman wouldn’t really want you to have; accidental gifts.

“That was…” you trail off, exhaling hard to convey your feelings. You laugh a little bit, a bit of tension releasing as you do. “Jesus Christ.”

“Oh, you don’t have to do all that… you can just call me Roman Roy,” he cracks, smiling wryly. He sighs and pulls himself together, running a hand through his mussed hair before it falls right back into his eyes. “I know, I know. Big ol’ fuckin’ hog, devilishly handsome, and hilarious? I’m the entire goddamn package.”

“Don’t forget filthy rich.”

Roman shakes his head and bows slightly to you, hand outstretched as if giving you the floor. “And filthy rich. If I could just fuck and marry myself, I would. Now, uh… is your back okay? Got a little… scraped up, yeah? You need some, like, Neosporin or some shit?”

“Yeah, in fact - could you also bring me some Mickey Mouse bandaids, maybe a lollipop? Some stickers? I’m fine, Roman… thanks, though.”

“Show you a fuckin’ lollipop,” Roman mutters, running his hands over his face. He snaps his fingers, fidgety, gesturing toward the door. “Come on, let’s get the fuck outta here. Fuck the papers. I’ll make somebody else finish it tomorrow. I don’t care. Romey tired.”

Roman places a chaste hand at the base of your spine, guiding you through the doors to end the evening. There’s a comfortable silence as you separate, Roman heading for his car while you go off to your own apartment in the opposite direction. Closer to arriving home, your phone dings. Roman’s name shows up and you ignore the tiny wisp of a thrill in your gut at seeing his name there inside your phone, not having reached out first.

Overtime required tomorrow. My shopper will have new tights for you - you’re welcome. Make it worth it. -R

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youremyheaven · 10 months ago

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The Strictness of Saturn: Giga Chads, Scammers & Spiritual Gurus

Lately, I have been contemplating the energies of Saturn and how it manifests in men and it brought me to the realization that Saturnian men are the type of men that other men idolize and look up to. There are always certain male celebrities that other men fawn over but women dgaf about and they usually tend to be Saturnian as well. Why do men worship Saturnian men? For starters, the world we live is a deeply Saturnian one, with law and order, systems and regulations and structure. The general narrative is that in order to be successful in life, you have to "hustle and grind" and work hard and that you'll be rewarded for it. This is essentially the theme of Saturn. Saturn is also a masculine planet and a malefic. We live in a capitalist society where the working culture is designed with men in mind. Be it the 9 to 5 or the culture of conquest and domination (in business, politics, colonization etc) are all aggressively yang. You do all of it to make more profit to buy/accumulate more stuff, this is a deeply patriarchal worldview because yang energy is one that is fixated on "accumulation". Therefore to thrive in this world, its important to have a strong Saturn and the kind of people who thrive in this set up, aka men, look up to and admire other men who exemplify such Saturnian qualities.

I'm going to start with the most notorious example of this Saturn worship by men

Andrew Tate, Anuradha Sun & Moon

Tate's brand of hyper-toxic masculinity and his "hustler university" is so wildly misogynistic it's insane. Yet it appeals to many men.

In one video, Tate describes how he would deal with a woman who accused him of cheating: “It’s bang out the machete, boom in her face and grip her by the neck. Shut up bitch.” He’s argued that women are a man’s property, shouldn’t drive, and shouldn’t leave the home if they’re in a relationship. He claims only to date 18 and 19 year olds as it’s easier to “imprint” on them, and in a now deleted YouTube video, Tate claimed that “about 40 per cent” of the reason he moved to Romania is that he believed police in Eastern Europe would be less likely to pursue rape allegations.

Tate seems to represent the lifestyle that most men dream of (wealthy) and he presents himself as ultra masculine/alpha like which is every man's dream but the thing is extreme behaviour of any sort comes across like that person is overcompensating for something.

Machoism and machismo are what men use to signal to other men that they're not to be messed with. Its a very primitive display of behaviour that probably goes back to the cave men era where men had to rely on physical strength and brute force to survive. But no man who is actually secure in himself will feel the need to aggressively display his "masculinity" by spewing absolutely vile hateful nonsense against women or other people. Toxic masculinity is rooted in narcissism and self centeredness; these men want to be the best among men (more rich, more powerful, get more girls etc). Its a gross by product of male insecurity because truth be told men grossly overestimate the standards women have for their romantic partners.

they seem to have a scarcity mindset about how no women would want to be with a deadbeat ugly loser (i mean, duh) but believing that every single woman would only date 6’4” dudes with 12 abs and rolexes isn't true either. majority of heterosexual relationships feature a gorgeous girl with a guy who looks like a gnome. many women date absolutely hideous men who are broke just because they have sweet personalities and are nice to be around.

but male insecurity leads to incel behaviour because they believe that the reason women dont go for them is because they're ugly or broke when usually the reason women dont go for them is because theyre an asshole. by blaming women for not sleeping with them or dating them, they get to conveniently shift attention from the fact that they have absolutely nothing to offer and also, women dont owe charity sex to lame, rude, broke, ugly men?

men underestimate just how much personality matters. and by pretending that being the "alpha" will get them women, they're feeding their own masculine egos because women literally just want a guy who is sweet, texts them back regularly, listens to them and isn't a complete asshole. you never hear a woman talk about being into "alphas". its literally just a male fantasy that is completely severed from what real people are like or what real people want. its like how men believe the "Cool Girl" exists, they write female characters to be quirky, nerdy but above all hot and constantly feeding their male ego, they also write male characters to be macho, alpha, dominating other men and women because they want to be like these men.

anyways lol went off on a tangent (me with every post)

Saturn is considered a malefic not because of how it represents "karma" or "discipline" its because Saturn overdoes the strictness, commitment and discipline and "hard work" associated with it. You may work hard but you can't always tell if you're working hard enough or why your hard work isn't translating to results/rewards. That is the energy of Saturn. You overdo things and go beyond the extra mile. This may sound like a good thing because we live in a world that values these traits but it can manifest in many unpleasant ways bc pushing yourself that hard means risking burnout out and it's actually unhealthy to swing into such extremes? You can live a good life without living like a monk or a soldier which is what a lot of hustle/self-improvement coaches advocate for. This is a negative manifestation of Saturn; believing that deprivation, scarcity and harshness are the only way to get things done or that "tough love" is the answer.

Hunter Moore has a Saturn stellium (Mercury & Venus in UBP and Saturn in Anuradha)

He was a predecessor to Andrew Tate who posted intimate photos (some acquired through hacking, and many nonconsensually submitted) of women with their Facebook details on IsAnyoneUp.com (he's a convicted criminal)

He's an early example of a toxic masculine internet influencer who spewed misogyny and was worshiped by many dudebros.

Solar men may be Chads who just want to hang out with other men but they are NOT like these Saturnians. If we're going to think of Sun as the most masculine or "yang" planet, it also means they're masculine to the point of being almost feminine, if that makes sense? The qualities of preferring other male company, valuing male friendships and wishing to keep women at an arm's length (under the guise of "independence" or "non-attachment") are similar to behaviours shown by women described as a "girls girl". Solar people of either gender have a very welcoming, positive energy but they're often virtually sexless. (there are exceptions to everything ofc) but these are not people known for being highly sexually desirable. They're likable and have qualities/traits that make them "wanted" but Solar energy is too self-centered to be sexually appealing. Sun is the centre of our solar system, it's used to being the source of light and does not have the same need to achieve things the way Saturnians do for whom accomplishment has its origins in insecurity and the desire to overcompensate for what they lack. Solar ambition is rooted in their belief that they're the best and deserve to be at the top of the world and refusal to settle for anything less. Those are two very different approaches.

Tom Hardy, Uttaraphalguni Sun, Chitra Moon once said:

“A lot of people say I seem masculine, but I don’t feel it,” Hardy confessed. “I feel intrinsically feminine. I’d love to be one of the boys but I always felt a bit on the outside. Maybe my masculine qualities come from overcompensating because I’m not one of the boys.”

Tbh this could be a generalization but I feel like I have seldom seen Solar men present themselves as mega alpha hypermasculine figures. They are often perceived that way but they're not personally like that. They're more boyish, more youthful than aggressively "manly". They actually represent a more indulgent "frat boy" type of masculinity than the alpha male ideal presented by many Saturn men.

I'll cite some examples of famous men who are popular among men and not so much among women

Jason Momoa- Pushya Stellium (Sun, Mercury & Venus)

Men love to talk about him like he's a God or something because he represents the kind of masculinity that other men want to embody. 6'5 bulky beefcake build and has this uber-masculine personality.

Like all Saturnian men, he's also known for making crass, tasteless remarks like the time he said at ComicCon:

“But as far as sci-fi and fantasy, I love that genre because there are so many things you can do, like rip someone’s tongue out of their throat and get away with it and rape beautiful women"

In 2011 during an interview he said:

"Yeah, I’m raping Emilia [Clarke]” he said. “I love her, but I’m hurting her and she’s crying. We could have made it longer, but you get the idea. I’m not a rapist. I prefer my women to enjoy sex.”

All of these statements reek of the smug asshole Saturn alpha-chad vibes like he really thought he did something by saying it. You just know that he was saying it for other men to laugh to🤢🤮🤮

Saturnian men lack social grace and manners and are literal troglodytes

Sam Levinson- Pushya Moon

everything he has ever made is SO male gaze-y, be it Euphoria or The Idol. he literally makes torture porn and all his female characters are treated like shit with absolute shitheads written as the male protagonist

The Idol portrays an absolutely vile toxic relationship where the woman is literally treated like scum. He sidelined his female collaborator on The Idol and reworked the show to suit his shitty male gaze. The show Euphoria was also stolen from photographer Petra Collins' aesthetic. Here's what she said:

he's also just known for being an asshole in general. several female cast members on euphoria asked Sam if they could cut down on the nudity (first of all, i think making a highschool drama, casting grown adults and getting away with depicting gratuitous sex scenes is fucked up on its own)

Sydney Sweeney had said:

“There are moments where Cassie was supposed to be shirtless and I would tell Sam, ‘I don't really think that's necessary here,’” she told the Independent. “He was like, ‘OK, we don't need it.’”

Jason Statham- Pushya Sun, UBP Moon

Jason is another example of a man who is idolized by men. He's known for playing menacing tough guys in action movies who are sometimes complete psychopaths and has the brooding toxic violent masculinity that men get off to.

Tom Brady, UBP Moon

He is another male celebrity whom men fawn over.

Chris Evans, Anuradha Rising

Chris is arguably more popular among men than he is among women. He's too plain and boring to appeal to the female gaze truth be told.

DJ Khaled, Anuradha Sun conjunct Mercury (and Saturn in Pushya)

DJ Khaled is in general known for being an obnoxious, egotistical, pompous asshole further confirming the rumours about how self-obsessed, vain, downright delusional and mannerless Saturnian men are.

In 2014, DJ Khaled revealed in an interview that he never performs oral sex on women. The full quote goes like this:

"It's certain things I just don't do. I believe a woman should praise the man, the King." "If you holding it down for your woman, I feel like the woman should praise and the man should praise the Queen," he continued. "But, you know, my way of praising is called, 'How was dinner? You like the house you living in? You like all them clothes you getting? I'm taking care of your family, I'm taking care of my family"

When host Angela Yee asked Khaled if he "goes down" on his longtime girlfriend, he replied, "Nah, never. Nah, I can't do that. Hell nah...I can't do that. I don't do that."

Yee asked Khaled if he would be okay with his girlfriend not giving him oral sex, to which he said, "Nah, it's not okay. You gotta understand I'm the Don, I'm the King."

She told Khaled she doesn't think the double standard is fair. Khaled said, "It's different rules for men. You gotta understand, we the King. There are some things that you guys might not wanna do or wanna do. It gotta get done. I just can't do what you want me to do. I just can't," he added.

This literally sums up how Saturnian men see themselves versus how they see women.

Logan Paul, UBP Sun & Mercury

In 2017 Paul was accused of sexist behaviour with the release of his song "No Handlebars." The track, which samples 2008's "Handlebars" by Flobots, changes the original song's lyrics from "I can ride my bike with no handlebars," to "I can ride your girl with no handlebars." The video shows Paul mounting three women who have positioned themselves to act as a bicycle. This wasn't the first time Paul was accused of sexist behavior, famously releasing a now-deleted Vine with controversial Vine star Sam Pepper in which the pair lassoed women as a way of courting them.

In 2018, in one of the first videos back from his infamous post-Suicide Forest hiatus, Paul can be seen lifting a live koi fish out of water and moving it like a toy boat, as well as tasing dead rats.

In January 2023, fans were outraged when Paul's former pet pig, Pearl, was found abandoned and injured in a field by the nonprofit The Gentle Barn. In the past, he had put his Pomeranian in seemingly stressful situations for YouTube videos, like introducing him to an actual tiger and putting him in a bucket to zipline him off the roof.

In fact, animal abuse/cruelty seems to be a recurring theme with many Saturnians, both men and women. I think so many Saturnians are notorious for abusing animals because their desire for domination and control manifests most through people who cannot fight back. Obviously being abusive to women and expressing desire to subjugate them is another extension of this Saturnian tendency but it is very telling how a Saturnian can and will dominate, control and abuse absolutely every living being they come across.

many years ago, Kim Kardashian, UBP Moon went viral for holding a cat like a toy and many people said it was abusive behaviour

Kristi Noem, Anuradha Sun, Ketu in Pushya

She recently came under fire for revealing in her memoir how she shot and killed her dog who was difficult to train along with her goat who she hated? Idk how callous you have to be to describe in detail (her exact words and excerpts from the book are available online, I dont feel like repeating it here) how you murdered your pets?? idk how insane you have to be to even publicly admit something like that??

Paris Hilton- Pushya Moon conjunct Rahu

Paris is notorious for how she prefers teacup sized dogs and for anybody who does not know, when animals are specially bred to be an unnaturally small size (bc people think small dogs are "cute") they really struggle with their health a lot bc their bodies are too small to hold all their organs and they struggle with respiratory issues along with being more susceptible to diseases and having weaker immunity. Breeding dogs is absolutely inhumane and cruel. imagine saying you want a cute tiny dog when being that small means that dog lives a much shorter life and a much more arduous one as well?

But Paris isn't just guilty of this but is notorious for neglecting her pets. Los Angeles Animal Services finally interfered after rumours that staff had found a dead puppy in one of Paris’ closets. This was one of Paris’ ways of handling dogs when she got annoyed: lock them away in a different area of the house and then forget about them.

After her documentary came about, many have also accused Paris of being a neglectful mother. Her own sister, Nicky Hilton once said that Paris was too selfish to be a mother and unfortunately 😬it sort of looks like its true? Paris basically left her newborn baby with his nannies and complained about having to "work a lot" when the truth is she's a multimillionaire who can afford to take time off to bond with her newborn?? she treats her babies like props to pose with. if you watch the show you'll know what I mean. her whole attitude and demeanour made it seem like she did not gaf about her kid. She also very callously said she was doing egg retrieval over and over because she wanted a girl and kept getting boys?? idk what happened to the other embryos but its a bit icky to admit that you kind of have a designer baby? On the show, her son was supposed to get circumcised and she says she doesn’t want to be there because it’s too painful for her. How painful is it going to be for your baby?!

On the same show, she also said casually that five of her dogs got ate by coyotes on different occasions? and she cloned two of her deceased dogs??

Shane Dawson, Pushya Sun, Mars in UBP

Shane is a sociopathic asshole in general but in 2015 on a podcast, he, in very graphic detail, explained how he inserted his penis into his cat and then ejaculated onto it as well. His exact words were, "One time I laid my cat down on her back...I moved her little chicken legs spread open or whatever," "I came all over the cat. It was like my first sexual experience...I was also like 19." After this was brought back up in March 2019, he then tweeted saying “I didn’t fuck my cat. I didn’t cum on my cat. I didn’t put my dick anywhere near my cat. I’ve never done anything weird with my cats.” 🤮🤢🤮🤢

Mitt Romney, Anuradha Moon, Jupiter & Ketu

He infamously tied his pet dog in a kennel to the roof of his car for a cross-country trip.

Ted Bundy, Anuradha Sun

Serial killers usually abuse animals as children and there have been studies that link animal cruelty to future psychopathic behaviour. Ted used to abuse the neighbourhood dogs. He shot one neighbour's dog because according to him, the dog was an "evil force" that compelled him to kill. Bundy used to watch as his own father tortured animals.

Angelina Jolie, Pushya Rising

I used to suspect her of being Punarvasu Rising but I came across a 90s interview where she admits to abusing her pets which makes me think she is indeed Pushya Rising lol

"I had a dog and I ended up beating him, and he got sick and... I've hurt so many—I am just not a good animal person... I had a rabbit that died, too... a cage fell on him..."That happened when she was six. But then I had a hamster... I took him in the shower. He died of pneumonia. I had a bunch of little lizards. My friend left them in the sun, and I came back and they were just... my snake, I tried to kill."

Another thing I've noticed with Saturnian men is how they usually scam their way to the top? Deceit, duplicity, being a con artist and a scammer are also common among Saturnian men (Andrew Tate included). They have vv right wing views, especially regarding women and they're also entirely dishonest?

Lance Armstrong, Jupiter in Anuradha in 1h

He was stripped of his tour de france titles after it was revealed that he used performance-enhancing drugs and cheated on his doping tests??

Emily Ratajkowski, UBP Moon & Pushya Stellium (Venus, Mars & Jupiter)

Her bikini wear brand Inamorata has come under fire for not shipping any of their orders?? last year lol. Her brand has also been criticized for selling poor quality bikinis that are tacky and garish

Jennifer Lopez, Pushya Sun, Mercury & Rising

Apart from the fact that J Lo does not sing her own songs and has essentially scammed her way to the top, her numerous business ventures over the years including her Sephora skincare line, Kohl's clothing line etc have all been absolutely horrible, even her perfumes are apparently terrible lol

Anna Delvey has Jupiter & Ketu in Pushya

She is an infamous con artist and fraudster who posed as a wealthy heiress to access upper-class New York social and art scenes from 2013 to 2017.

Back to the theme of Saturnians being abusive, here are some more examples:

Colleen Ballinger, Anuradha Sun

She was accused of grooming her underage fans and being creepy to them and she responded to that with a ukulele song? Her ex-husband reacted to the weird apology saying "This behaviour was my reality anytime I spoke up & disagreed with her actions & rhetoric during 2009-2016. I was gaslit too. I was made to feel like I was always the problem. Any pain I felt was an inconvenience and was belittled. Every ounce of what you’re feeling, I understand."

As someone who used to watch them in the early 2010s (I feel super old) I know for a fact that Colleen was a major asshole to Josh (her ex husband) and always acted like, since she was more successful than him, she had the "upper hand". She's a toxic narcissist and I hated the way she treated all the people in her life like they're all her glorified assistants or something ugh

David Dobrik, Pushya Sun, Saturn in UBP

If you've watched any of his content, you do know that he uses people around him for "vlog content" and often does really crass, distasteful, offensive, weird, inappropriate shit to his friends for clout? he was rightfully accused of setting up the stage for one of his friends to sexually abuse a minor

Russell Brand, UBP Moon

He has been accused or rape, sexual assault and emotional abuse by 4 women

He's like the spiritual hippie avatar of a toxic alpha chad and he used to be heavily involved in the Ra Ma Yoga place that was essentially a cult

Haile Selassie, Anuradha Moon

This is a more extreme example of men (and women) worshipping a Saturn man, in this case quite literally. Haile Selassie was the emperor of Ethiopia. In the 1930s when he initially became emperor, Rastafarianism emerged in Jamaica and Rastafaris believed that Haile was the second coming of Christ and is perceived as a prophet.

Sri Sathya Sai Baba, Anuradha Stellium (Sun, Mercury, Venus & Saturn)

Sai Baba was a guru who was revered by his followers and literally thought of as God. however, he was embroiled in several scandals in his lifetime including child molestation. Its really hard to dig up info about Indian gurus because they started doing their stuff in the pre-internet era and because its really easy to get away with virtually any kind of abuse under the guise of religion and spirituality in India.

Another guru with major Saturnian energy was Anandamayi Ma who had UBP Rising.

There will be a part 2, where I'll explore more about Saturnian energies and how it manifests in women etc<3 But I hope this post was interesting <3

#saturn #anuradha #uttara bhadrapada #pushya #vedic astro notes #astrology notes #sidereal astrology #nakshatras #astrology #astroblr #astro notes #vedic astrology #astro observations #astrology observations

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seungfl0wer · 7 months ago

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Ellooo, it’s me again hehe, Wat do u think skz fave position are? As always tysvm :3

- Sunny ☀️

*OT8 Favorite Positions*

Genre: Smut duh

Warnings: Gender Neutral, Chocking, Sex (duh), Spanking idk if there’s really anything else.

Listen- these are just perfect to me lol. I even looked at a site to find good ones I think they’d really like. (The Site) it’s not p0rn it just shows you them no real nudity tbh. Just there to show you if you need a visual. Anyways- I might expand on these at some point cause a few of these I’d really love to write ideas for 🤭

-🩵

Bangchan: “Doggy”

He for sure loves doggy style, this man loves hitting it from the back being able to push balls deep into you. Being able to pull your hair, grab your throat or smack your ass. Another favorite is leaning himself down wrapping his arms around you just humping you like some feral dog. And can you imagine dom!chan “All 4s now” putting a leash or some shit on you!? Drooling

Lee know: “Reverse Cowgirl”

Ass man just wants to see it jiggle as you ride him. Perfect position to see his cock disappear in an out of you. Perfect view of your ass that he’s always touching. He’s either smacking it, rubbing it or got his nails in it. He’d have you cock warm him while watching something then just sit back and have you move for him. And when you’re not doing it fast enough or how he wants he’ll dig his nails into your hips pulling you down to take all of him.

Changbin: “Yourself on the shelf”

Basically just you up in the air while he either holds you or has you against the wall. He loves showing off his strength and he swears by this. Wanting nothing more to have you positioned in the air doing all the work to make you feel good. Would in fact be one of his favorite quickie ones too. Horny at work? Yall locking the door and doing this. He’ll find any excuse to too not that your complaining.

Hyunjin: “Face off”

I’m a firm believer of hyunjin loving you riding him. Kinda like the cowgirl. This one in particular is so intimate though. Holding onto you head in your chest as you ride him. Letting out all kinds of sounds feeling the closeness. Hands are free to roam your body feeling every inch of you. Being able watch your face in pleasure. He probably also really likes making out during sex so this position helps with that as well.

Han: “69”

I feel like Han has an oral fixation idk man, he loves going down on you making you squirm from his tongue or having you go down on him pushing your head down on his cock. So why not do both? The whines he that vibrate against your heat just- and the way his body just shudder as you take him all in. Be warned though in this position there’s no pull out game. He’s 100% cumming in your mouth cause he can’t bare to pull out or even notice how close his high is.

Felix: “Spoon”

Being the big spoon cuddling up to you, arms wrapped around you as he thrusts into you. This man would absolutely love the physical intimacy of it. Being able to just put his head into the crook of your neck and leave little marks. He’d whisper all sorts of things in your ear as he fuck you playing with your sensitive areas. “Y/n you feel so good taking it so well.” Definitely would be the type to burry his cock deep as he came and go “let’s just stay like this for a while” while you feel him just twitching inside you. I need to write this-

Seungmin: “standing wheelbarrow”

Kinda sorta like doggy but you’re bent over ass in the air legs wrapped around him as he holds your body up. He just like Lino loves seeing your ass just giggle. Being able to smack it as much as he wants. This is a position I think he does when he really needs to fuck you senseless. Like coming home from work just having a touch day and just wants to bed you over and take out his frustration that he always lets build up. He’s gonna bruise your ass with his snacks as he’s cumming deep. There would definitely be at least another round after this.

Jeongin: *Missionary*

Before yall say anything lemme explain. This is such a soft position. He loves being able to see your face as he pounds into you. All the pleasure that’s caused by him. Being able to wrap those beautiful fingers around your throat, play with your chest, and your sensitive areas all while still being able to pound into you? Sounds perfect to me. It’s also just so intimate to him, if he’s feeling shy she’s definitely blushing as he fucking you holding your hands tightly dropping down to put his head into the crook of your neck.

💙 If you’d like to read more of my stuff you can find it Here: Master List . Thank you for reading and if requests are open or you just wanna talk feel free to send me something🩵

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mysteriousl0ser · 9 months ago

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FUCK IT, TADC EP 2 THOUGHTS MAJOR SPOILERS!! BE WARNED

LETS GO!! Pomni is still pretty screwed up over her first day here, I mean this is all fresh and new to her so like DUH. everyone else here is somewhat or entirely adjusted and kind of just cope with the fact that theyre here I dont think pomni has really processed how long theyve been here?? In the pilot she seems SO bothered by how okay they are with this and willingness to do caines fuckass adventures

i dont blame her, anywho pomni in her nightmare-induced state starts to abstract, she had to face an abstraction early on in her days here which like have to be pretty truamatizing (duh) and cried out to ANYONE, but where she called for help literally no one helped her “oh well” they though

Pomni doesn't feel like anybody else cares, shes the only one whos still going through an adjustment phase and freaking the fuck out while everyone else is just going along with the adventure, something she still thinks is kinda pointless and doesn't get why anybody would waste their time here doing when they COULD be looking for a way out, why is she the only one who seems to still be distressed here? To feel lost? At least from her perspective, it seems that way. Unfortunately, these people have already been here for a while.

Pomski then meets someone whos just like her, their whole reality was shattered and they don't belong anywhere, mirroring how pomni feels at the moment, even if she still has some sort of grip now vs when she first got here

And she finds comfort in that!!! Why is it that this NPC feels more real than the ACTUAL REAL PEOPLE trapped here with her??? Whatever the reason, its something to hold onto. Something to LATCH onto. Hes Real. or at least he feels real, and maybe she feels like she belongs with him because at least he knows the feeling, something shes not really felt w anyone else before

This comfort and solidarity she has with gumigoo is shortlived however as she gets brutally reminded that he wasnt real. The anchor she had vanished and there's quite literally nobody to catch her fall.

And i feel like ragatha trying to comfort her the way she did didnt help AT ALL. it was kinda a sore reminder that gumigoo is easily replaceable, and GOD thats so frustrating?? This thing felt so real to her and nobody seems to care that he just vanished!! If they could be so apathetic to this whos to say they wont just treat her demise just the same as she thought they would???

But then something important happens. They have a funeral for Kaufmo, someone whos been established to be their friend way before Pomni ever came here. And maybe it didn't ever settle in before that kaufmo was a real person! Literally!! And he was real to them. Just like gumigoo though less directly they relate to being in pain and kind of in shock of losing someone who they cared about and who was a real person to care about to them AND LIKE YOU CAN SEE WHERE IT CLICKS IN HER FACIAL EXPRESSION HERE, THE CHANGE IN HER EYES AND THE WAY HER EXPRESSION LOSENS AT THIS IDK IT DRIVES ME CRAZY GOD THE ANIMATORS WENT OFF W THIS EP VS THE PILOT IM IM IM

anyways anyways They have their funeral service, theres quite literally no reason for anyone to just lie and go along with whatever bs caines got going on, this also quite literally has nothing to do with him. This is kind of their own little way of keeping some sort of human traditions and respect for the human persons that get stuck here because they care. HELL you can even see pomni feel a little guilty here when ragatha says that his funeral was disrupted cause she arrived here

anyways thats exactly it!! They fucking car!! This whole time pomni thought that they just didnt care and were kind of apathetic or downright patronizing her over all this and mocking her or whatnot, like in her dream sequence. But no, they all talk respectively about their memories and experiences with kaufmo, the things they shared together and the feelings they had. EVERYBODY was grieving. Ragatha who always tried to put on some cheerful and kind of irritating (to pomni at least) everythings fine facade (which also kind of feels less real to her at least i think so but i don't think she figured it to be a coping mechanism) to just straight up start crying and breaking up a bit, even mentioning how this does not ever get any easier and how shes had to deal with this plenty of times before.

Zooble the usually apathetic and kind of asshole who keeps to themselves and gives off i don't care energy and probably gave off the impression that they didn't care about anyone here and just treated the people stuck here as an unfortunate fact and nothing more actually being vulnerable and probably doing the same as ragatha talking about their memories with kaufmo

Kingers ALWAYS kind of zoned out or not really taking anything seriously and just being there completely lost in space, but here hes grounded, and even earlier in the episode when ragatha needed it most he remained grounded then too (tho pomni didnt see that i just wanted to mention it). Just like the others he grieves and lives in the unfortunate moment

more of the kinger being grounded when the thought counts

GANGLE- dude even if its for just a moment she smiles here despite having her tragedy mask and like her whole shtick is being of whatever mood or emotion her mask is allegedly wether she wants to or not, but no here shes more than just that, she smiles for a bit when reminiscing her moments with kaufmo only to go back into crying, and man shes always crying with her tragedy mask but its beyond as far as anyone can tell wether or not its really her or just because of her mask, but here? its really her, no matter what the mask on her face shows!! shes genuinely smiling despite having her comedy mask and shes genuinely crying which is very blatantly obviously different to the usual mask cry etc etc

heres something about all this, it hits pomni in a way. These people ARE real, and they care. They care about her, they have nothing else but eachother and THATS something to latch onto. Thats something to hold her down, even if they just met pomni

SPEAKING OF JUST MEETING POMNI she literally expressed how she didnt wanna just LEAVE gumigoo there by himself because she believes no one should just be left there

the circus peeps just met pomni and just like how she felt a real connection to gumigoo in this digital hell she feels a sort of connection with these people too. Theyre gonna have her back all the same, maybe she wont feel so out of place and alone. BONUS THING!! The literal only times she genuinely smiles is when she feels this real connection to what feels real to her and has a genuine and sincere moment with these people whether it be an npc or a trapped member. Idk it just means something to me how significant both these moments are tipped off with a genuine smile a REAL SMIE!! (id add pictures but tumblr has a 30 image limit) OH ALSO BONUS BONUS THING THE DIFFERENCE IN OUTRO MUSIC IS SO IS SO ITS SO the outro song for the pilot kinda feels so ethereal and out of the moment at least to me it kinda feels like it you're slipping through the cracks and just, existing within yourself as the rest of the world around you kind of shatters into glass or melts into water or something i dont think ANY of that made any sense but its loud and its blaring and its so out of reach in a way, mad disassociation vibes but the outro song for the 2nd ep is a lot quieter yet its right there, at first it starts really small, lonely even. trapped by yourself but as the music gets louder and more instruments join in on the song it kind of has a comforting feel? bittersweet? even? its grounding ina way which is much different from how the first one felt at least to me lmao and the comforting feel kinda only emphasizes what I was talking about earlier- the comfort in having that anchor of reality with having a real moment with these people and making that connection yk? and like as i was saying at first the song starts off with just one instrument, at the start of the episode pomni feels utter alone and out of place even if these people here with here are stuck in the same situation as her, together alone. but as the other instruments join. in it kinda uplifts the song a bit, its not one sole instrument anymore like how in the end pomni feels that connection with everyone else, not so alone anymore idk jackshit about music theory so this is entirely a feelies talk instead of like- music lore? so don't take anything i say as like- idk some professional speak im just a nerd nerding about silly digital fixations ANYWAYS THATS ALL FOR NOW I AVE MORE TO SAY BUT THIS IS LONG ENOUGH LOL if you actually read all the way down this far thank you for listening!!! i really really appreciate it :]

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nofingjustaninchident · 11 months ago

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hi, I’m not great at requesting things but if this makes sense could you write a high school au where Jason is a football player. I think it would be cute cause he’s definitely tall enough and strong enough but then add in him being kind and wow he would make the BEST high school football player boyfriend. Thank you

⛧° Jason Grace x Nerdy! Reader hcs °⛧

content: jason grace x reader, college au!

warnings: cursing, allusions to sexual stuff (not much tho), stupidtly fluffy and corny.

a/n: bby if i tell you i dreamt about this, would you believe me? like, i swear to all the gods, i dreamt with this and woke up thinking about writing it… well, here ya go. oh, and i also made her a brazilian, i hope you don’t mind? if you do, just ignore it, please 🫡

⛧° 。 ⋆ ⋆ ⋆ ⋆ ⋆ ⋆༺♱༻⋆ ⋆ ⋆ ⋆ ⋆ ⋆ 。°⛧

Of course, he’s a great football player.

Like, i know no shit about football, i’m a soccer girly, but he’s the best quarterback in the city. like, he’s really really good.

And obviously everyone believes he’s such an asshole and a womanizer.

But in reality he’s so so nice

Sure, he sleeps with some girls and all, but not as much as his teammates.

He’s also the only jock that sticks with a girlfriend. Not for long, but still more than the other guys ig

So when he was having trouble with maths, he needed a tutor, cause he had to have a back up plan of he didn’t went for the pros

Such a nice boy, fr.

And he went talk with the teacher to ask who could teach him.

And that’s when he found you.

You weren’t exactly a super nerd. You just liked to study.

But you had a lot of friends, since being the only exchange student did bring this sort of popularity around the university.

And when he first came to you, you were kinda bitchy.

You know, you had a bit of hatred towards football players. No idea why, it was just there.

Even with that, you were too kind-hearted to don’t tutor him.

And when you got to know each other… you kinda started liking him.

On your first study session, the library was too full, so you went to the outside

Which was really working out, till Jason found a little bird that probably fell from his nest

The guy was so worried that he almost took the bird home

He would’ve done it if you didn’t stop him

But he found the nest and put the little bird back there

And you just stood there, like “what the fuck? isn’t he supposed to be a douche?”

It happens that he’s not.

And you became pretty good friends with the frequent study sessions and all.

Not to mention he was pretty offended when you told him you didn’t like football.

And you were very offended when he asked if the spoke Spanish in Brazil.

He knew it didn’t, he just did it to piss you off.

He really wanted you to go to one of his games, but you never said you were really going.

So, one day, when his team was having a match against Harvard University, he was more than surprised to see you at the stands, right in the front.

With his jersey. With his number and name on your back.

He honestly felt he was gonna cry right then and there.

He got so happy he made a touchdown. They won.

And you were there, cheering for him and pretending like you understand anything that was going on there.

When the game ended, he came rushing towards you.

“Congrats, Gra-“ Before you could even finish your sentence, he kissed you.

Oh, and it was heaven.

After this, you started dating and it was the best thing you ever experienced.

He was such a gentleman.

Doors? Don’t even touch that. Dates? He’s paying, duh. You’re tired? He’ll carry you, bridal style.

You get the point.

You started liking football because of him. And he started liking soccer because of you.

a/n: i don’t know what to feel about this lol. idk what you’ll think of the brazilian thing, but if you don’t like it, i’ll remake it, promise!

#postcards from leah #jason grace x reader #jason grace x y/n #jason grace #jason grace x you #heroes of olympus #heroes of olympus x reader #pjo hoo toa #pjo #football

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chaoortu · 3 months ago

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listen i know i yap a lot about nick and neurodiversity in my fics but it's like. every time i reread heartstopper it really jumps out at me and i'll probably reblog this again with more thoughts as i continue my reread but like.

it strikes me as interesting that despite the fact that nick gets called a chav pretty early on by tao, we never actually see nick acting that way on page. i think the show does a good job at showing how nick has sort of chameleoned himself and stuffed his real personality down but the show is a topic for a different post. in the webcomic we see it once when charlie is teasing him about being laddish and nick decides to act that way for a laugh. on one hand, i chalk this up to most of the early webcomic/heartstopper in general being in Charlie's pov. he wouldn't have noticed these things about Nick because they didn't really notice each other until their meet cute, which is realistic. I think it also speaks well to Charlie's character that he takes who Nick is at face value and challenges Tao's opinion of him. but what jumps out at me is that in harry's birthday party we sort of see the first instance of nick's "meaner" side and it's in the context of defending Charlie. Still! The first instance of this really sunshiney character taking quite a big turn!

But notice how the dig isn't personal? These are all observations about Harry that can be deduced in the context of the material before it. That is to say, despite being friends with Harry since he was like 11, Nick keeps it simple. It reminds me a lot of how you correct a dog's behavior in the moment and I can go on for ages about Nick and dogs but again-- that'll be another post. What follows this really intense moment is another really intense moment when he and Charlie are alone and like yeah, they're teenagers, being teenaged is intense enough. But after their kiss, we have this panel and my God is it one of my favs:

I really love how Nick is framed with flowers in this scene because it really feels like it's him blossoming into himself in this moment where it's just him and Charlie. Charlie is shown over and over again to be Nick's safe person in comic and while they are obviously falling in love way before this, I still feel like this is the moment where Nick decides it's safe to love Charlie (I mean duh, they kiss a LOT in this episode), or rather, to hand Charlie his emotions and feel like they won't be fucked with or used against him. And that's huge! Nick wears all his feelings on his sleeves, he's not even slick about it either-- the fact that Christian, Sai, and Otis pick up on the fact that Nick has a thing for Charlie before he does speaks a lot to the fact that Nick doesn't seem very aware of how much of himself he gives away on the regular. Which again, in juxtaposition with the fact that he's perceived as a judgmental rugby lad by Tao (which, grain of salt here. I love Tao a lot but he's also quite judgmental in his own ways so this is a pot and kettle situation), and the fact that his own mother comments on the fact that he's much more himself since befriending Charlie? That's MASSIVE. I dunno. I could be projecting here but as an autistic teenager who did everything in my power to be like my peers and lowkey hated myself for it, I find this incredibly relatable. We see Nick starting to realize that a lot of his friends are dicks several times before he and Charlie kiss for the first time, and that's also relatable. It took me so long and still takes me so long to realize that people I thought were friends are actually quite shit. Again, I could be projecting but it reads very neurodivergent to me that it takes Nick being exposed to someone who is actually kind to him (Charlie) to realize that his friends aren't kind people. Insane tbh! Something else that got me is that we see Nick struggle with the fact that he really likes Charlie and wants to stay with him vs. the responsibility he feels to regroup with his friends. I don't actually think it's responsibility. I read it as Nick putting his mask back on and resuming the expectations he's been bearing since before he met Charlie and it's a visible struggle for him.

Nick, while pretty unaware of the fact that he can be read like a book, is also incredibly aware of the role he plays in his own friend group and the ways in which he has to perform. But he doesn't like it now. His early love for Charlie really puts things in perspective for him that he doesn't have to accept where he's at currently if he's unhappy and we get that moment of regret where we see that he knows he fucked up by leaving Charlie.

It looks like he's disassociating here. That, or his mind is still in that room with Charlie. It's a battle of expectations vs. what Nick wants. And Nick's wants are never Nick's first priority. He's a pathological people pleaser after all. And despite the fact that he just fully made out with another boy despite barely having figured out that he likes guys and the ethics on Charlie kissing him without asking (teenage stuff, I'm not arguing about it rn especially because this doesn't bother Nick in canon. idk why this discourse exists but maybe i was just making out too much as a teenager) The next day, Nick clears the air. Literally runs to Charlie's in the rain so they can talk it out and so he can be understood properly. He's desperate to make things right with him because 1) he's in love and 2) he cares a lot about Charlie's feelings to the point of putting them above his own later in the story. But the way he does it and the way he sort of overexplains his feelings almost constantly really strike me as neurodivergent. Nick goes above and beyond explaining how he feels to make sure nothing can be misconstrued and that really gives me the sense that Nick is... somewhat aware of the fact that people assume how he feels? Granted, this is coming off the heels of everyone saying he was in love with Tara, so maybe he felt the need to explain himself more since some people think one pre-teen kiss = fairytale love. (ignore the fact that Nick's fairytale kiss with the flowers totally equaled fairytale levels of love for him, lol.)

He literally explodes! Charlie is physically taken aback by his words. This happens right after Charlie has his big "I shouldn't have kissed you this was all my fault" etc. explosion. Which! The fact that Charlie explains how he feels down to feeling at fault and sharing that with Nick, who is very much like no.. no nO WAIT. I LIKED IT. (so much that he kisses Charlie to get him to understand that pre-explosion). And again, we sort of see Nick trying to bottle and be a bit more normal about it immediately before when Charlie tells him he's getting mixed-signals. Nick's response was to unmix the signal and then cry about it because THIS. IS. A . LOT.

For a cis-male character who is involved in a very masculine sport, surrounded by masculine people who are not nearly as emotional as he is(on page at least) the fact that Nick goes above and beyond in this moment where he's so vulnerable to ensure Charlie understands him is hugely neurodivergent to me. He's making sure Charlie gets that Nick loves him, he's making sure he gets that he's not mad about the kiss, and he makes sure Charlie knows he feels bad for leaving him behind. His bases are covered! There's no room to make assumptions about how he feels and I imagine for Charlie, a chronic overthinker, the fact that Nick is so blunt about his feelings all the time must be fucking incredible. He can actually take Nick at face value (at least at this point in the story ). But especially after Ben's gaslighting shit? Like fuck! I'd want to jump into a relationship too if the guy I've been crushing on for like two months ran to me house in the rain, kissed me, cleared the air, and then cried in my arms. I love emotional honesty! It's also interesting to me that it seems like his confusion towards his sexuality bothers him a LOT more than his feelings for Charlie do. He likes being in love with Charlie, that much obvious, but it's this conflict within himself that bugs him. And idk, I could be projecting again but I just can't see a neurotypical teenager reacting like that. To me, it really reads as Nick going. "Okay, I like kissing Charlie and being around Charlie. I'm in love, this is good. Check." but then his sexuality is a huge gray area until he does more research on bisexuality and decides that's the label he wants to use and I think the not knowing is what really bothers him. There's a lot of pressure in queer spaces especially nowadays to be labeled and for Nick, a character who buried his personality to be accepted by others, to specifically be upset at being confused about his identity reads as neurodivergent to me. Nick, by all accounts, doesn't seem to really care about his sexuality except for the way it challenges who he believed himself to be up until this point and what that means to the people around him who think he's just some straight laddish dude, you know? Largely, he also seems rather apathetic towards sexuality and gender in general except when he has to confront his sexuality and how other people will perceive him if they knew what his sexuality is-- hence keeping things between him and Charlie a secret despite the fact that he's never ever been shown to be ashamed of the fact that he loves Charlie.

Anyway, this post got way too long. Enjoy one of my favorite OCD/AUDHD moments between Nick and Charlie. THEY LITERALLY KISSED LIKE TEN MINUTES BEFORE THIS MOMENT... INSANE BEHAVIOR... I love them. The sillies.

#chao talks #heartstopper #charlie spring #nick nelson #narlie #meta #is this meta?#idk maybe #really wrote all that and didnt even get to why i think he's audhd but you know #fuck it we ball #in case anyone wanted to know what percolates in my head #it's the fact that i think nick is undiagnosed with SOMETHING.#it would kind of slay if that were a plot point for nick's uni drama rn.#wink wink a nudge nudge #im joking #mostly

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