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machine-gun-casie · 4 years ago

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tavern music

synopsis: corpse hears tavern music coming from your room (gn!reader)

warnings: rpf, reader gets cheated on, kind of unrequited feelings, mostly hurt/comfort and physical affection tho (what im trying to say is that this is mostly self indulgent)

wc: 1.7k

a/n: havent written in a while but i found this in my arsenal, fixed it up a bit and viola. original plans for this was definitely something longer that would end with them being together but im not up for writing rn. been feeling really shitty lately and ive been needing something like this in my life. hope u guys like it ♡

He couldn’t hear it at first. His headset was on and everyone was being so loud on the discord call. When he started the stream, he really thought it was gonna be a long one. But he’s only two hours in and he’s ready to get the hell off because something was definitely wrong.

“Corpse?” His name being spoken finally broke him out of his trance, he only hummed in response. “You’ve been really quiet. Are you sure you’re up for another game?”

“Actually,” he starts as he closes a few tabs, “I think I’ve gotta go. Today was fun, though. Thanks for having me guys.”

After a chorus of ‘goodbye’s and ‘see you later’s, Corpse disconnected from the discord call. “Thank you guys for being here,” he addressed the chat, “sorry I’m ending so early today. I promise I’ll make it up to you next time. Take care of yourselves. Later.”

After hanging up his headset and getting out of the chair he’s been sitting in for far too long, Corpse made the short trek to your room.

You had only been roommates for less than four months, but Corpse could confidently say that you have become one of his closest friends. Getting a roommate was the last resort that he never wanted to actually resort to. But alas, medical bills were piling up and youtube and music don’t make half as much money as people think they do. So cutting rent in half was the best plan he could come up with. He did have an extra guest room that no one ever stayed in. Of course having someone move into his personal space was terrifying to him. He didn’t just want to post an ad on craigslist or something. So he asked a couple trusted friends to ask a couple trusted friends… And that’s when you came in.

You were the trusted friend of a trusted friend of a trusted friend. When you met, you didn’t make a comment about his voice. Your face sure as hell showed your surprise but you didn’t say anything. To Corpse, this meant one of two things. You either knew who he was but didn’t want to freak him out, or you didn’t know about his online persona and were just genuinely shocked by his voice. It only took a few minutes of knowing you to know that it was the latter. Thank god. You were like anyone your age with social media. You had a few accounts, followed a few people, but mostly used it to stay in contact with friends.

It only took you guys a week to realize you had way too much in common. After many a late night when he wasn’t streaming, and many an early morning when he was just done streaming, you two became inseparable. Nothing could keep you apart.

Except for one thing.

You had a boyfriend.

There was nothing wrong with your boyfriend, per se. Just the fact that he was your boyfriend and Corpse was not.

Yeah, Corpse definitely had feelings for you.

But right now, feelings didn’t matter when he could hear tavern music coming from your room.

He knocked lightly and pushed the door open slowly. “y/n? Can I come in?”

No response came, just sniffles and sobs. The lack of refusal on your part gave him the courage he needed to open the door wider and step into your room. He had only been in your room a couple of times since you had moved in. But he had never been in a room that gave off the feeling of a person so well.

You were curled up on your bed, facing your open laptop screen and the tavern music coming from its speakers. With every sob shaking your chest, Corpse felt his heart break. “y/n,” he murmured softly, “what’s wrong?”

“It’s not working.” Came your reply, heavy with tears. “You said it would make you feel like you're going on an adventure but I still feel like crap.”

“What happened?” Corpse asked as he sat down on your bed, facing you. You slowly sat up and crossed your legs at your ankles in front of you.

“He-” You sighed heavily. “He cheated on me.”

“What?”

“He cheated on me -has been cheating on me- with my best friend. My little brother found out.” You groaned and dramatically dropped your head onto Corpse’s thigh. His hand immediately came in contact with your cheek as he brushed a few stray tears away.

There was rarely any physical contact between you and Corpse. Sometimes you’d give him a high five, sometimes he’d give you fist bump. And there was that one time you came up behind him at the grocery store and hugged his arm to your chest. You immediately whispered something along the lines of ‘creep won’t leave me alone’ followed by a loud ‘hey babe!’

Corpse could barely admit to himself how much he liked that.

But this? This felt good. Corpse’s large warm hand on your face somehow made you want to cry more but in a good way. The tenderness with which he held your face made your heart squeeze as it remembered moments like this with your boyf- ex boyfriend. But then it remembered your brother’s words.

“Hey, what’s up?” You spoke as you answered his call. Your brother wasn’t much of a caller, so it made you worry.

“Hey, where are you right now?”

“I’m home, why?”

“y/n… There’s something I gotta tell you.” He sighed and you could clearly hear the guilt.

“Did you break my DS!” It was your first thought as you had given it to him the last time you had seen him. “Dude! I’ve had that since I was seven!”

“No no, I called about something else.” He cut you off mid-whine. “But also I did lose the pen.” You huffed out a sigh of frustration but stayed silent so he could tell you what he wanted to tell you. “I saw your boyfriend at the park today.”

You furrowed your eyebrows. “And?” How did this warrant a phone call?

“He was with Bob.”

When you had met your best friend, your brother was only a toddler. He had decided that her name was Bob, so it stuck. You always called her Bob, she was saved as Bob in your phone, your whole family called her Bob. But you still didn't understand. Why was he calling you to tell you that your boyfriend and your best friend were at the park?

“Why are you calling me about this? You know that they’re friends, right?” You let out a chuckle, albeit still pretty confused. “They’re allowed to hang out without me.”

“They weren’t hanging out.” You could hear your brother push out a strained sigh. What wasn’t he telling you? “They were making out on the swing set. As in, both of them on one swing. And I double checked, it was definitely them. I-I told mom and she said not to tell you, but I couldn’t not tell you when I’m the one who saw it!”

You couldn’t bring yourself to say a word.

“I’m sorry, y/n.”

There was no lying to yourself, you had doubts about your best friend and your boyfriend. But you constantly brushed it off. He wouldn’t hurt you like that. Hell, she couldn’t hurt like that. Not after everything you had been through together.

But you had seen his call log by accident one time, he called her more than he did you. She face-timed him one time to ask his opinion about a dress she was going to buy while you were in the changing room. She had done a handful of things since your relationship with your boyfriend started that made you uneasy. If this was their first kiss, which was something you doubted, then they’ve both been emotionally attached to the other for far too long.

All those tender intimate moments, all those dates, throughout everything, he wasn’t faithful. Not emotionally, at least. None of those moments that you cherished meant anything to you anymore. He had played you. With none other than your best friend since middle school. You didn’t know who to be more mad at.

The thoughts of betrayal from someone who you considered a sister and the hurt of being cheated on made you nauseated.

So when the large warm hand on your face stroked your cheek again, you didn’t mind it. This was Corpse. Not your cheating boyfriend. Not your lying best friend. Corpse. And you knew that he would never hurt you.

“He’s been cheating on me for a while I think.” You mumbled against his sweatpants. “Maybe a couple months. I don’t know.”

Corpse furrowed his brows in thought. You had told him you were going to visit your boyfriend for your one year anniversary next week. “Weren’t you go-”

“Yeah.”

“And Bob’s been your friend since-”

“Yeah.” Your chin wobbled as you answered. You brought your arms up around Corpse’s thigh and hugged it. It was a strange position, but you didn’t care. He was so warm and nice and hugging him properly required more movement on your end than you were willing to do.

“Oh, sweetheart.” Corpse sighed and reached out to untangle your arms from his leg. He gently pulled you across the few inches of bed between you and sat you in his lap. You wrapped your arms around his neck and your legs around his waist, immediately sobbing into his shoulder. “Do you want me to turn off the music?” You shook your head no against him and he chuckled before he solemnly sighed. “When did you find out?”

“When I came home.”

“But you came home hours ago. Have you been in here this whole time?” You nodded. “Why didn’t you tell me?”

“You were streaming, didn’t wanna interrupt.” You shrugged.

“y/n,” he sighed disappointedly, “you’re my best friend. I can end a stream if you need me.”

“Okay.” Your voice, broken and weak and tired, made him feel so guilty. You had been crying your heart out for over two hours just down the hall from where he was.

He gently grabbed you by your hips and tried to push you away, but you only held on tighter and whimpered. “I just wanna get you some water.”

“I don’t want water.”

“Then what do you want?”

“You.” You whispered. “Please stay.”

Fuck. How could he say no to that?

So he stayed.

#corpse #corpse husband #corpse x reader #corpsehusband #corpse husband x reader #corpse husband fanfiction #corpse husband fanfic #corpse husband fluff #corpse fanfiction #corpse fanfic #corpse fluff #gender neutral reader

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itwoodbeprefect · 3 years ago

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✏️👽📃🎨

✏️ The first fanfiction you ever wrote? (doesn’t have to be a posted fic)

fjdkf so. officially the first one was a (dutch) first person pov twilight teen renesmee fic i wrote at fourteen (back then i held the opinion that fic only Worked if it fit perfectly with canon, hence the prevalence of next-gen stories), which can still be found online to this day on quizlet.nl (not .com! there’s a crucial difference). it had no paragraph breaks and bad interpunction, but i did finish it! and i just looked it up for the first time in years and, gosh, i’m like 90% sure the endgame was still renesmee/jacob (and there was a love triangle with a vampire at some point, because of course there would be, it’s twilight), but the fic description is like, “jacob imprinted on nessie but she’s not happy about it because she feels she’s being forced into something, so she decides to go to a human school to meet other people her age” and, holy shit? good for her, good for her.

however, unofficially... there’s something that came even before that, which even i sometimes forget existed. this one was a cinema bizzare (rpf! gasp) fic about a girl starting at a new school and i guess somehow meeting the band, not because i was a huge cinema bizzare fan (i must have had like, five of their songs on my mp3 player) but because quizlet was going through a tokio hotel phase in 2008, and i hardly listened to tokio hotel at all, so i think i just figured... close enough? i’m pretty sure i only wrote a couple of 200-word chapters before i realized nobody was reading it and bailed, and whatever i did write has been wiped from the internet through no action of mine. it was on an account that i still know how to find but can’t log into anymore, and quizlet had a big server crash in 2010 in which no content was actually lost but all connections between chapters and stories were severed, so every user had to manually reattach each of their chapters to the correct fic and i just never did that for the abandoned account from when i was twelve. oh, the good old days.

👽 Strangest fic you ever written?

i don’t know if a vaguely sci-fi AU jesus christ superstar judas/jesus fic even counts as strange these days, but it did have a lot of people going “wait, wtf, i thought this would be crack?” when it wasn’t. this, too, is still available on quizlet, where all of my roots lay.

📃 Ever written something inspired by someone elses fic?

oh, i mean, probably! not consciously, that i can recall, but the only reason i ever started writing fic at all was because i saw other people do it. at the very least things i’ve read must have influenced me in style or trope choices or turns of phrase i don’t even remember picking up.

🎨 Show us a sneak peek from a WIP!

this is the opening scene to a fic about nail polish and complicated feelings and gender roles something something that i’m not sure works on any level past this opening scene, which is the only settled part of it so far:

It starts as a prank.

A well-meaning elderly neighbor, excited to have a little girl around, donates some of her old nail polish to Pete. “So I can be a real lady,” Pete parrots, when she recounts the story at Hutch’s kitchen table. To go along with it she pulls the kind of face kids make when they see a dissected frog - it’s gross, but also morbidly fascinating, and maybe a cause for horrified laughter.

Kiko, ever the supportive brother, carried in all three of the little half-used bottles. “What can we paint on?” he asks, eager but hushed, because Starsky is asleep on the couch.

And, well, Starsky is asleep on the couch.

Starsky stops being asleep on the couch when Pete is three nails in and Kiko is still meticulously coloring in the thumb of the other hand. The way he starts awake almost ends in immediate karmic retribution for Hutch when Kiko’s bottle topples over on the floor, but the stuff inside is tacky in substance as well as color, and doesn’t manage to find its way out before Kiko hastily rights it.

Starsky needs a moment of blinking to take in the situation. Everyone else is holding their breath - Hutch, for his part, expects some dismay, and probably a loud protest - but Starsky inspects his nails, and then just says, “Huh.”

Kiko and Pete exchange a look before they both glance at Hutch, but for once he’s just as much at a loss as the next person when it comes to what’s going through Starsky’s mind. “What do you think?” he asks, like poking a bear with a stick.

A teddy bear, that is. “I’m impressed,” Starsky says, and the wildest part of it is that he doesn’t even sound like he’s being sarcastic. It’s genuine praise. “They did a really neat job of it.”

“I wasn’t done,” Pete announces, emboldened now that the silence is broken.

Starsky huffs. “Well, that’s not my fault,” he says - finally, a protest - and then he lets them have his hands back, and sits there on Hutch’s couch getting his nails painted a strange, eggplant-like purple (Kiko) and offensively bright pink (Pete). Hutch stays and watches for a while, but it’s like seeing three people in all earnestness have a nice time reading the dictionary upside down - it’s cute, but he can’t figure out what the hell is going on, and that disturbs him a little.

So he goes into the kitchen to cook dinner instead. Figures: Starsky is getting his nails done, and Hutch is still the housewife.

#ask #*#i think one of the other things that severely held back the cinema bizarre fic was that back then i only had 30 min of computer time per day #and i had to choose whether i was going to spend those precious 30 minutes banging out some words or playing the sims. life was hard

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ingravinoveritas · 3 years ago

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Aren't you going a bit far with describing how you think their sexual escapes go? Like this is straight up sexual harassment. Their sex lives are none of your business. It's one thing to imagine it and another to write it out and post it publicly. They aren't fictional characters. They have kids who can stumble upon this.

I can only surmise that this Anon is referring to this post, and all I can say is...

First of all, I believe the word you are looking for is “escapades.” Michael and David’s sexual escapades...which could also happen in the context of an escape to a tropical island or a lakeside cabin or a château in France. So if that is what you were going for, then you are absolutely correct, and good work on that front.

However...as someone who works with adults on the autism spectrum (and also an autistic adult myself) who unwittingly engage in sexual harassment or are more frequently the victims of sexual harassment without even realizing it, that is a serious charge you are making, and something I do not at all take lightly. As such, I think it might be a good idea for you to understand what sexual harassment actually is before accusing someone of it. And heck, maybe you don’t know, Anon, in which case it is a good day to learn something new. So here is a definition of sexual harassment taken from two different manuals published in the early ‘90s and from the EEOC:

Sexual harassment is a type of harassment involving the use of explicit or implicit sexual overtones, including the unwelcome and inappropriate promises of rewards in exchange for sexual favors. Sexual harassment includes a range of actions from verbal transgressions to sexual abuse or assault. Harassment can occur in many different social settings such as the workplace, the home, school, churches, etc.

Above all else, Anon, the key component of sexual harassment is that it almost always involves power. Someone in a position of power over the victim using their authority to coerce or force the victim into giving them favors. So I am not really sure how me writing RPF or answering Anons on my blog where neither Michael nor David nor anyone related to them are remotely aware of my existence or can even see it constitutes “sexual harassment.”

I do find it very interesting, though, that so many things I have seen posted on Twitter--posts about David’s (or Michael’s) “breast milk,” “tiddies,” feet fetish posts, and every other kind of thirst tweet imaginable--made where both Michael and Georgia have accounts, and can far more readily see these posts, especially when some of the fans tag them in these posts--are seen as perfectly acceptable, and not as sexual harassment (by your definition, Anon, rather than the one I shared above).

As for Michael and David’s sex lives being “none of [my] business,” it’s worth noting that Michael (and Georgia) certainly seem to have no problem making it our business. Would you say the same thing for Michael calling David his lover? Or Michael talking about having sex with David on international late night TV? I’d very much like to see someone tell Michael not to say such things publicly, because he would give exactly zero fucks and continue to say whatever he wants.

Also, the “they have kids who could see it” argument is not new, and holds about as much water now as it did the first time I heard it. I would imagine that Georgia’s #MarriedSexting posts with screenshots of her texts with David--most notably the “what’s for breakfast?” and the “I really enjoyed watching you do that” texts--would be something they would have a far greater chance of seeing than my ridiculous posts. (Not to mention the two-foot high sparkly pink penis Georgia has on a bookshelf in their house, which...I strangely never hear anyone say much about, in terms of the kids seeing it...)

So I am left wondering what your real issue here is, Anon. Because you don’t seem to mind the thought of Michael and David having sex, just it being written out for folks to read. I’ve seen people post all sorts of outrageous and gross things about Georgia and David’s sex life (and even Michael and Anna’s), but the “it’s none of your business” argument never crops up there. It just seems like people get very up in arms about “protecting” kids from even a hypothetical same-sex relationship, but do not do the same for a “straight” relationship. Yet a relationship is not automatically healthy or more significant or safe just because it is a “straight” one, nor is a relationship automatically unhealthy or less significant or unsafe just because it is a same-sex one.

In any case, I hope my response has given you something to think about, Anon, most particularly when it comes to making spurious charges against someone for something as serious as sexual harassment. Even if we don’t see eye-to-eye on anything else, at least let that be something you take away from all this, so I know that my decision to answer this wasn’t entirely in vain...

#anonymous #reply post #michael sheen #welsh seduction machine #david tennant #soft scottish hipster gigolo #re: MS+AL's sex life #if i have to see even one more tweet about Nutella i am going to gouge out my own eyes #haters gonna hate #really though #why do people do this #the fact that i even gotta respond to this #seriously?#i can't even with this nonsense #please have several seats #and try reading what i actually wrote instead of accusing me of ridiculous things #fandom woes #discourse

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bao3bei4 · 4 years ago

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kpop music videos that gave their fans sexual brainworms

OR accidental fetish pop and its fringe fanbase: meditations on gendered desire

large warning here: i am someone who has been into kpop for the past 10 years. however, i have always been an extremely casual fan. i do write fic, but not rpf. if any of that makes you not want to hear me talk about kpop rpf (or you don’t want to hear about it in general), please keep moving.

anyway, obviously pop is corporate, soulless, and manufactured. but sometimes some truly bizarre shit gets past the committees and destroys a generation. these are their stories.

the video that started this is all is got7’s just right, released july 10th, 2015.

yes that’s all 7 members of got7 (one is out of frame) shrunken down for your viewing pleasure. they live in your room and tell you you’re just right.

this sheer fetish power of this video is nerfed only by how utterly sexless it is.

they’re styled like and dance like this. it’s a totally unironic sendup of the seminal work that preceded it by four years, “what makes you beautiful” by the white kpop group “one direction.” the chaste energy of the whole thing makes you legitimately wonder if the good people at jyp have just never heard of microphilia. (during a dramatic reading of this piece, here a friend interjected seriously, “i think it’s korean culture not to talk about things like this, fetishes in the workplace.”)

it’s for the best, honestly, though because the actress in the music video is lee ja in, who was 11 when the video was shot. considering that the members themselves ranged in age from 18-23 at the time, i think it’s actually very impressive that we only have to cancel one.

you receive absolutely no prizes for guessing that it’s jackson wang we’re sending to social justice prison. why’d he do this? no one asked.

at any rate, got7 fans, or “gans” (they actually call themselves igot7s which is too twee for me), have much to think about here: all 7 very small members of got7 sneaking into their room, possibly weird age play, and jackson wang eating a very large cake.

let’s see what they actually did.

twitter was actually very tame. the most charged thing i found was (unsurprisingly) from a bts fan (“ban”). i don’t actually know what it means, but i think it means something.

so, of course, i turned to the internet’s last bastion of free speech, where you can say whatever the fuck you want and receive cheers, or as the kids say, “kudos.” that is, i read fanfiction.

for those of you who don’t know your herstory, i started my journey at Asianfanfics.com, where, at the time of writing, there were 12,067 got7 stories. i want to start this by saying that i think feminism won, because someone was paying real human dollars to advertise their irene/wendy fanfiction on a banner ad, which is quite possibly a win for women for everywhere.

anyway, Asianfanfics.com’s search engine sucks ass (i kept on finding stories about different combinations of bts members worrying about their weight and being reassured by another member that were entitled “just right”), so i decided to look through all got7 stories written between july 2015 and december 2015.

but, alas, not a single got7 microphilia fic to be found.

also, some genre commentary while i’m here: i think the stories i respect the most are the “[y/n] is a ordinary girl who’s assigned to be got7’s manager! can she make them into superstars? as sparks begin to fly, can she keep it professional?” like fuck yeah that sounds like a kickass dating sim. it almost definitely already is one. i salute all the teens around the world for buying into the fantasy of dating a boy band member that they themselves sell you.

however, i don’t think i respect the “[member a] and [member b] are mafia/jocks and nerds/college students/high schoolers” concepts. in my opinion, the whole fantasy of boy band member is their personas, their hidden real personalities, their celebrity, and the show business setting. find a different intellectual property if you wanna write about school. i even respect the “yugyeom drank girl juice [not estrogen] and turned into a sexy girl” story more, because at least it knows exactly what it wants, and also because they’re all still boy band members. well, band members. shout out to yugyeom.

so, anyway, i looked elsewhere. at the time of writing, archive of our own only had 11,645 got7 stories, but it does have a better search, so it effectively has more. as an aside, i think it’s so funny, and mildly disorienting at first, that archive of our own separates the “music & bands” section from the “celebrities & real people” section. boy band members aren’t real people.

the first problem i encountered is that only 20 or so stories were written within a year of just right’s release. absolute cringe gans. don’t you care about your boys? there were zero stories tagged “vore” or “microphilia” either. stories containing the word “tiny” that were rated either “explicit” or “mature” were all normal (“normal”) size fetishization rather than, you know, just right.

however, i learned my lesson from twitter. i realized that what had happened was that watching this video had created sleeper agents, just waiting for their activation phrase. that activation phrase? bangtan boys. and yeah, lo and behold, there was one! unfortunately (fortunately?) it had nothing to do with got7, let alone just right, so i’m not going to talk about it.

basically what i learned is that this video may have actually been very normal, and my brain has just been destroyed by being too online at a young age.

however, there are plenty more videos in this genre. i present to you exo wolf, a banger from may 30th, 2013. i say banger, because in a comedic inversion, it’s actually fucking terrible.

this video is pretty self-explanatory in terms of why it might induce certain responses.

let’s get the formalities out of the way. this video, the member who’s getting cancelled is kai. he has braids in this video :/

also skating on thin ice: xiumin and chen. guys what was up with the whole exo-m thing? like, we’re gonna have a cpop subgroup, but it’s going to be part chinese members and part korean members that we’ll give a chinese name? unsurprisingly, the three exo members who have departed from the group are all chinese. they weren’t able to stand the microaggressions probably. but xiumin and chen remain uncancelled as an official chinese apology for five thousand of years of on-and-off invasions of korea. sorry guys that was kinda fucked up. our bad!

anyway, there are basically three avenues for exo fans to take: 1) humans with wolfish characters (usually wolf pack dynamics, which even wolves themselves don’t fucking use so i think all of you should shut up. the real omega here is your brain), 2) werewolves (duh), and 3) wolves with human characteristics (i.e. standard furry fare).

exo themselves let all these possibilities exist at the same time, superimposing them over each other, which is very woke and egalitarian of them. let’s see what the people decided. awoo.

Asianfanfics dot com had many stories in this vein. i feel very validated that this time i was able to correctly predict a fetish. that said, briefly returning to my earlier comment regarding alternate universes: it’s intense psychic whiplash reading about these vampires and werewolves, and going okay okay luhan is a vampire this that whatever, and then seeing the actual real performance photos the author attaches at the bottom of each chapter. bro i forgot these were actual people.... it breaks immersion so bad... i’m sorry, i just can’t believe that any of these dancing boys are having weird vampire sex with wings or whatever.

archive of our own also had many stories in this vein. and i think there are some important difference between the two sites worth talking about.

first of all, i think the higher engagement rate of archive of our own really enables some of the authors to get super bold. it makes Asianfanfics.com seem a little quaint, actually. like the wordcounts are waaay longer, for one. it’s uncommon for a story hosted on Asianfanfics.com to be more than a few thousand words long (most of them could easily be published in the new yorker), whereas some of these archive of our own people have written full length novels about if the members of exo were werewolves. i guess it’s just intensely demoralizing for the aff.com crew to get, like, three comments per story.

the second big difference is that i’m noticing more common themes between the ao3 crew’s writing. like stan intertextuality, or plagiarism, or whatever, but they seem to be implicitly engaging with each other’s characterizations, storylines, and tropes. i think it is because they probably all follow each other on twitter. (i have been active on twitter for three weeks now so i am an expert on fanfiction twitter.)

anyway, like not that i am a particularly big gan (cannot even list all the members), but these people seem to have reached a very specific consensus on how jackson wang, for instance, would react in a variety of situations that really surprises me? if i were to sit down and write a got7 story, i think the fuckboitude, the douchebaggery is a big part of his charm. not to be nationalist or anything, but for god’s sake, he’s from hong kong. but these people have him as very sensitive, lots of protective instincts. not that i understood what anyone on aff.com was doing with his character either, but they did all seem to be doing different things. “kudos” to that, i guess.

but: exo. wolf. i searched the “wolves” tag. this filtered the list down from 33459 stories to 52 stories. and the “wolves” tag was very different from the aff.com “wolf” tag. for the most part, aff.com liked stories where a member was a wolf (usually shapeshifting), feral boy, lots of y/n, lots of y/n dating a feral boy who is secretly a wolf.

ao3 really, really, really likes alpha/beta/omega stories. sorting by the most popular stories, only five on the first page weren’t a/b/o. and one of them was a cis f!baekhyun story, so i think the intended effect was communicated. anyway, let’s talk about some of the themes.

first of all, i’m disappointed. today’s bonus cancellation is of ao3 “wolves” writers. why the fuck are you drawing so heavily from european wolves?? there are wolves in asia!! you don’t need to keep giving their packs and ranks weird latin names. i will kill you. i hate italy. korea literally has a native wolf. i hate all of you!!! if you want to write caucasian wolves go watch that dumbass cw show!!!! my god.

the second theme (the first one was white supremacy) is that no one wants to be a wolf who fucks. i think that we need a sex positivity movement, or something, for omega rights. like, are all of you doing okay? you’re queering misogyny by inventing new genders to oppress. another level to “no one wants to be a wolf...” is the “who fucks” part. there are so many consent issues. and not even in like, a sexy intentional way? in a “i genuinely do not think this author understands how their writing comes off” way. unfortunately i am sensitive to untagged sexual coercion, and there was a lot of that.

at any rate, the aff.com wolves were at peace with being wolves, very self-actualized. the ao3 wolves know that every minute they spend alive on this bitch of an earth is suffering, and also sex.

the third theme is the evolution of y/n. y/n, who, in a startlingly woke move for aff.com, is almost always korean, is a girl main character stumbling into love, boy bands, and wolves (i think it’s because aff.com is oldschool kpop fandom, so therefore heavily asian itself in userbase). but y/n is not the main character in ao3 stories. she is the straight best friend. in what i think is a hilarious move, ao3 authors invert the gay best friend paradigm to give the gay main character a straight girl as best friend. she usually calls him “a gay,” she has lots of thoughts on boys, and she knows his sexuality better than he does and before he does. (sidebar: if all the men are gay, and all the women are straight...)

there’s a really fun twist to this, though, because the main character is always a self-insert in fanfiction. but where older fanfiction like aff.com was at peace with this and literalize it via y/n shenanigans, modern fic writers who haven’t finished distangling their complicated relationship with wanting to be a man who loves other men instead simply imbue their main character with their essence. a little voodoo doll sehun, with a lock of y/n hair.

this creates a deeply ambivalent relationship with gender in these stories. the main character is usually an omega, but one who resents being an omega. their body and its parts is usually described, if at all, as ostensibly intersex (except more offensively), but in practice, these discourses inscribe a trans body. (nb: i think cis writers approach this in a really fucked up fetishizing way, but i hope by this point we know that that goes without saying) it’s incredibly straightforward to read this, and see the underlying desires and fears in a heady cocktail of unfiltered writing that’s deeply confessional. you know when freud had people say whatever the fuck they wanted and figured they’d eventually free associate into releasing their subconscious into reality? yeah.

okay, and while we’re on the topic, let’s talk f(x) nu abo, released on may 4th, 2010.

this is a blitzy, maximalist, amped up dance hit that even has its own applause and cheers built in. it’s so fucking annoying, and i love it.

this song is on here because the second most popular kpop a/b/o story on ao3 is called “nu abo” except it’s about bts. that’s offensive enough in its own right. write something about f(x) (702 works). when will women win the right to have their own self-lubricating holes.

anyway, even though f(x) is probably innocent in all of this, i’m still cancelling amber liu.

for queerbaiting. who told her to look like ruby rose but hot? and for what? i’m also cancelling her for racism, but that wasn’t in this video.

moving on to a double feature: vixx voodoo doll and vixx chained up, released november 19, 2013 and november 9, 2015 respectively. this is because while voodoo doll is more formative, i think the fans who write fanfiction today got into kpop more recently, so we are casting a wide net.

anyway, voodoo doll is jam packed with weird pseudo-medical imagery, blood, vivisection, bondage, puppet shit, femdom, sharps, piercings, asphyxiation, dollification, stabbing/penetration metaphors, and a really sick and catchy dance. god that looks like the list of tags on the a/b/o wolf stories.

for this song, we’re cancelling you, for being way too into this song when you were 13.

vixx voodoo doll made me goth i guess! insert that pic of the your music saved me sign, except it saved me from getting into emo or pop punk probably.

chained up, comparatively, is much more tame. the only thing of note about it is that there are around 10 completely different chokers and choker looks the members wear in this music video. also they’re singing about being chained up, but that seemed a bit obvious.

we could argue that voodoo doll is gay while chained up is gay (derogatory); that voodoo doll is queer while chained up is gay; that chained up is a sensitive masterpiece of omega4omega sexuality. but we’re not going to.

we’re going to talk about what voodoo doll fanfiction was and was not. first, Aff.com had plenty of it. however, i was extremely disappointed to see that much of it did not hew to the spirit of vixx voodoo doll. my god, the voodoo doll becoming the one preying upon you disgusts me. the fantasy of the voodoo doll is that of absolute power. the idea that the doll itself has agency? instantly breaks the fantasy. i’m even not into voodoo dolls and i’m offended.

i also don’t think it’s part of the voodoo doll fantasy to release the doll. the only story on there that involved Y/N kidnapping vixx members like in the music video was unavailable because the author deactivated their account. come back qxeen what did you see.

i think this got off track, actually, in that i was mostly wondering why these people imprinted differently onto vixx voodoo doll than i did. like i don’t think you’re supposed to actually like straightforwardly absorb the morals and aesthetics of music videos like it’s propaganda. however, it’s more entertaining if you do. i hope ao3 doesn’t let me down.

out of the then 5932 works in the vixx fandom (the least out of every group so far, excluding f(x) because they’re women), 59 of them included the word “voodoo” somewhere. that’s 1%. i legitimately can’t tell if that’s high or not.

after some more cursory reading through the first page of popular results, my big takeaway is that people watched that video and wanted to be tortured and enslaved? but not, like, in a sexy way where the torturing is the point, the way where the point is to suffer bravely and beautifully, to endure the world’s harms like jesus on the cross, and then to fall into the arms of a beautiful boy who may or may not be the one hurting you in the first place.

there’s a certain predictability to these fantasies. like it’s not even masochism, which would be fun at least, it’s literally just like the desire to be beautiful, even as you suffer. and i do find that a little boring. (but, i mean, you can’t help being a woman!)

sidebar: on chained up. what’s interesting about chained up, is that most of the then 38 “chained up” works (likely because the video has no storyline) are about the members fucking during chained up promotions. no one’s ever actually chained up, but whatever. it’s fine. it’s fine!

anyway, here, more than ever, the nature of desire is stripped bare. i’ve written before [elsewhere in the unreleased tshirt cinematic universe] on how kpop boys are, through fandom, re-formed as white, or more strongly, i guess, blank slates. it’s really interesting to me how so much of this dynamic of projection is enabled by the fact that they’re asian men. they’re infantilized, feminized vessels; they’re seductive, but childlike, oblivious to their own charms, so nonthreatening; they have uncontrollable desires for sex, they’re scared of sex. and above all else, white women submit themselves to them, insert themselves into them. basically kpop fans tend to rework old school yellow peril and emasculation fantasies to reenact their own desires, often white, often cishet on them.

what i am saying is that there’s another thesis about forced feminization and its racialized subtext in here. obviously gender is a racialized construct to begin with, but like it’s fascinating to argue that when white women remake asian men according to their own desires, that is, into themselves, they (hopefully) unintentionally echo these old fears about the sexual order.

it illuminates, it seems, the underlying dynamic in the denigration of asian men, which is of course the fear of miscegenation. now, my breathtaking ability to make everything about me aside, miscegenation is interesting because it presents a racial synthesis, beginning to collapse and trouble the artificial designations of purity. so we make asian men into white women, and end up with an unsettling hybrid. i’m sure this has deep implications for me personally.

but i think we already knew that quite a few of these people had yellow fever, so let’s talk about the gender dialectic at play. basically, the above dynamic, of making men into women (whether literally, in body; or subjectively, in mind; or even relationally, as they are objectified into passive vessels for your desire) coexists with the ostensibly converse dynamic, in which the straight women desires to be a gay man. these aren’t necessarily in conflict: it could easily be that these are different writers writing different stories, that both are ways of expressing discontent with existing in a raced, gendered body, or even that the end product of both is the same.

it’s been a while without a picture. all of you now have the legal right to hunt and kill me for making a d&g joke.

anyway, what i want to talk about is how these two fantasies can coexist. that by making a man into yourself, you can speak on your own desire in a passive way. my normal interest is analyzing forced masc fantasies (albeit in chinese opera lol), and they bear little to no resemblance to this kind of fantasy. this kind offers plausible deniability, of course, because wanting things is embarrassing. but also the fantasy isn’t about wanting to be a man, it’s about having no choice but to be a failed one. the gender pessimism running through these stories is palpable. basically andrea long chu wants what wolf fanfiction writers know: everyone is an omega, and everyone hates it.

at any rate, this racialized dynamic is one that i wasn’t sure how to bring up throughout this piece, mainly because there is no definitive way for me to tell the race of any individual writer, beyond just like the clear and present vibes that i receive. but i think it structures a lot of the fantasies contained in this essay. (i felt more comfortable bringing up the gendered dynamic, because it was fairly trivial to find out the current gender of the person writing each story i was reading.)

obviously we should return to the specter haunting this conversation: the very much alive david eng. i think this sort of argument is familiar to readers of racial castration, especially his chapter on m. butterfly. btw sorry for mentioning that play 2 out of 3 posts on this blog. i have problems.

let’s talk about the parallel imagery between the depiction of gallimard’s final speech and the fanfiction i’ve described above. in it, gallimard makes himself into his own dream woman, dressing in yellowface and robes, the costume of puccini’s original madame butterfly. and he laments his lost love:

there is a vision of the orient that i have. of slender women in chong sams and kimonos who die for the love of unworthy foreign devils. who are born and raised to be the perfect women. who take whatever punishment we give them, and bounce back, strengthened by love, unconditionally.

in that, i see the self insert, and i see the sufferer of vixx voodoo fic. the fantasy that gallimard has about asian women is repeated, this time about asian men and a helpless identification with them. and on some level, gallimard’s women do have something very compelling to identify with: they suggest that there’s a way to endure white male violence without sacrifice, and even more potently, to enjoy it on some level.

but onward to the titular racial castration. eng argues that gallimard’s wilful ignorance of song’s true gender is a psychic castration -- song’s masculinity is diminished so that his own can be enhanced within their relationship. this, eng believes, acts out “richard fung’s contention that in western imaginary ‘asian and anus are conflated.’” this process stabilizes the relationship between the asian man and the white woman: they occupy the same place within the sexual dyad.

this is, i think, why some people are addicted to writing from the bottom’s perspective. again -- not implying that irl bottoms don’t exist or that bottoms are psychically castrated lol -- but rather that you can fantasize about this ideal asian man that you can come to embody. in kpop rpf, rather than it being between a white man and an asian man (unless someone’s started writing chad future fic), it’s between two asian men. so this transformation is performed. whiteness is always intruding and so i think eng is helpful here to making it visible again.

this essay isn’t a callout or actual cancellation or anything like that, i do wanna be clear. i guess i just like talking about fantasies, even the embarrassing ones, and where they come from. i think oftentimes in fandom spaces, we write a lot of stories off as idfic, and i think virtually every single one of the stories i referenced to write this fairly uncontroversially fall into that category. but i think calling something an “id” something or the other naturalizes the satisfaction it gives as purely instinctual and unconscious, when i do think there are deeper narratives at play. while i didn’t ever actually reference the base here (sorry), i do think it’s worth talking about how real world power shapes & maintains the superstructure, and thereby our fantasies.

anyway in conclusion, maybe i was the one with sexual brainworms the whole time.

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just-the-hiddles · 4 years ago

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Writer’s Spotlight | Wrathkitty

Hello my peeps, today I am featuring that talent and wonder that is @wrathkitty. The person who reintroduced me to my love of Q. If you know, you know. I share her crush on Luke Skywalker as a teenager (for me specifically Return of the Jedi Luke in the black.)

Check out their works here on Ao3 and FF.net

What are other names you want people to call you?

Kat.

How long have you been writing fic?

Since I was in middle school, but I didn't start posting anything online until 2013.

What fandoms and/or ships do you write?

MCU Loki, Star Trek: TNG, Portal, and one random Star Wars fic about Kylo Ren and a passive aggressive barista

How did you get started writing fic?

I had a crush on Luke Skywalker when I was 13. It was total author insert, wish fulfillment Mary Sue tripe. We all have to start somewhere, I guess.

Story Recommendations

Which of your stories are your favorite?

You’ve Got Sucker’s Luck and Hello, My Dear.

Which story are you most proud of ?

Sucker’s Luck

Which of your stories do you think is the most underrated?

Sucker’s Luck. There was a request to insert a laugh-crying emoji. I will grant that request. 😂

Someone is new to read your stories, which story/stories should the read first?

Probably my kid Loki/Thor fic, just because it's funny. (This would be To My Brother Thor, Whom Slept With)

Which story did you do the most research for?

My Portal story - Come Downstairs and Say Hello. I spent many, many hours reading walkthroughs and poring over transcripts to make everything as close to canon as possible.

Which story was the easiest to write?

So far? My ST: TNG story! No idea why it's been so easy (relatively speaking), but I'm not arguing, either. (This would be Hello, My Dear).

The Writing Process

What is your favorite part of writing?

Writing dialogue, and editing. (QueryShark.com, which is run by an IRL literary agent, has been a huge resource for me re: writing techniques and dos/don'ts -- I have a weird love for picking my own writing apart, and some of her suggestions just gave me even more ammunition on ways to punch things up.)

What is your least favorite part?

Plot development!!!!!!!

Describe your style in 1 to 2 sentences.

Heavy on character development, sarcasm and angst, with a healthy dose of humor to balance out the feeeeeeeeeeeels.

Who are some of your writing idols and/or influences?

Robin McKinley, Tamora Pierce

What programs do you use to write and/or edit?

MS Word and Word Mobile

.Are you a plotter or a pantser?

More of a pantser, but writing an actual outline was the thing that has stopped SL from going completely off the rails...

Do you write RPF?

No.

Who is your favorite character to write and why?

Nick Fury. OMG. He has done it all, seen it all, and simultaneously DGAF while giving all the fucks.

What do you think are your writing strengths?

Character development, and writing dialogue.

What do you struggle with?

Plot. I'm terrible at it. The medication I take for depression has the side effect of inhibiting creativity and slows the writing process down something awful. The other thing I REALLY suck at is not getting hung up emotionally over lack of reader engagement. But no amount of psychotropic medication will cure that!

Favorite Trope?

Canon character falling for feisty OC, apparently!

Favorite word to use?

How bout favorite word to MIS-use - "alight." I have to go back and fix some egregious misuses of it in SL!

What is the best piece of writing advice you have heard?

Not actual advice but a lesson learned from my 9th grade English teacher, who taught me the value in letting someone slaughter my work. This got me out of the ditch years later when I had written myself into a corner 3/4 of the way through my Portal fic -- a reader left a comment complaining I was delving into crackfic territory. Once I got out of my snit, I realized they were right, reworked the chapter completely, and was able to finish the story. Chell and Wheatley would probably still be stuck in a game of Jeopardy! if it hadn't been for that one review.

What would you say to a new fanfic writer starting out?

Ao3 is a much easier platform to use than FF.net, and tumblr is a great way to get your work out there, if that's something you're interested in doing. Also, use tags.

What is a random bit of research you have not managed to work into a fic yet?

I want to involve the Very Large Array (in NM) into one of my stories at some point.

What is your favorite random detail from one of your stories?

From by "To My Brother, Thor" story, where Loki and Thor are playing martyr and Loki is burning Thor at the stake -- it's based on my mom and aunt doing the same thing when they were kids, like all good little Catholic children do...

Any goals or WIPs you want to share?

My long term goal is to turn SL into an original work. Fingers crossed, I just need to finish the damn thing first!

This or That

fluff AND angst

smut AND fluff

reader insert AND OC

one shot or series

canon divergent or AU

Pepsi or Coke (hot chocolate)

coffee or tea

sweet or savory

Check them out peeps!!. Until next week!!

#writer's spotlight #wrathkitty #loki fanfiction #loki fanfic #thor fanfiction #star trek: tng fanfiction #loki #q #q fanfiction #portal fanfiction #portal fanfic

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tinyboxxtink · 4 years ago

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Hey so loved your black magic series! I read your post about using REE/Rafael. I’ll read anything you write but this idea to me is RPF and kind of squicks. ☹️ Maybe if you use another character he played? Nevada?! Someone sees “Barba” doing something super bad and they’re all “omg omg” and think it’s Barba? 🤷🏻‍♀️

I hear you, I do. HOWEVER, I made a "Version" of Raul Esparza in this story that is 5 years younger, and...I hate to say it, "more" famous?

IDK I wrote a 'prototype' chapter last night, so I'm gonna put this to you. I assume/hope you're an avid reader and I can gauge the public consensus, but also I want ALL my readers to be happy!!

So here, read this and then tell me if you still find the idea "Squicky".

That goes for anyone else! Maybe I should put my tag list in here....

The way I wrote him though anon, I truly feel in my heart that it's not RPF, because like I said RPF freaks me out as well.

Before you already go in skeptical, let me set up the plot I had planned. {As told to @madamsnape921 in an IM:

the thing was gonna start that someone sees Rafael proposing to the reader, and tells a tabloid that Raul Esparza is engaged to some rando. Because they think that it was him. And then Rafa, the reader and Chloe start to discuss on how either it's a multiverse thing, or a doppelganger thing because it turns out that Rafael and Raúl are very similar, like personality traits and the Broadway dream, except that Raul's childhood was basically the opposite of Rafael's so Chloe THINKS that Raul is Rafael from a "multiverse".

Right and then Raul goes to Rafael's office to confront him and then the reader and Chloe are there to take Rafael out to lunch and they're like holy shit!

And Rafael is super uncomfortable with the idea of the reader EVER being in a show with Raul because obviously they're like the same person and Raul probably has more in common with her

Oh and also Raul is five years younger, and thinner. So then Raul's like you shouldn't listen to him, I could really help you with your career.

Annnnd that's all I have so far.

Okay so read this really and tell me you honest opinion.

Screw it putting the tag list:

Tag List

@madamsnape921

@lolliepopsicle

@chasingeverybreakingwave

@milkshqke

@wanniiieeee

@word-scribbless

@gibbs274

@sassyada

@aprildecker-blog

@bookishfanfic

@stars-in-the-skies-world

@stars-trash-18

@omgsuperstarg

You were walking towards the exit of Central Park hand in hand with your now fiancee, when all of a sudden two giggling girls came running up to you.

“Oh my god!!!!! Raul we didn’t know you had a girlfriend!” One of them started squealing.

“Fiancee,” He corrected. “Wait I’m sorry, what? Did you just call me Raul?”

“Uh...yeah, duh,” One of the girls made a face. “Raul Esparza?”

“What?” You bursted out laughing. “I’m sorry, you think he’s Raul Esparza?”

“Um, we know he is,” The other one crossed her arms.

“Um, no he isn’t!” You wrapped your arm around Rafael protectively, as if the two girls were going to kidnap him or something.

“I can promise you ladies, I am not-- whoever you just said,” Rafael assured them.

“Why are you doing this? Are you trying not to embarrass your lady friend here?” One of the girls made a weird face at you.

“Wha? No--” Rafael tried to defend himself but the girls were already clearly ticked off.

“Wow, I have heard of actors trying to get away from fans but completely pretending to be another person, that’s pretty low Raul,” One of them glared at Rafael.

“Yeah, it wouldn’t have taken you much effort to just take a selfie with us,” The other one added with a scowl.

“I...um--” He looked to you for help, but you just shrugged. You had no idea how to handle such a weird situation.

“I guess we can take one--” He offered.

“Oh no, forget it now,” One girl scoffed.

“Yeah, jerk!” The other one stomped her foot and they both sauntered away angrily.

-----------

“...What the hell was that?” Rafael looked at you in utter confusion and disbelief, you just gave him a “wtf” smile.

“I have no idea baby--”

“Oh my god, are you guys ok?” Chloe suddenly came running up behind you. “What the hell did those teeny boppers want? To rob you with water guns or something?”

“No they-- they wanted a selfie?” Rafael was still confused, trying to figure out what just happened.

“A selfie? With you?” Chloe snorted.

“No-- With Raul Esparza,” You looked at her with a confused smile. It was pretty entertaining to think that your fiance looked like a Broadway star.

“I don’t get it, you said that I didn’t even look like him!” Rafael looked at you.

“I mean I said I didn’t see it, and that you were more handsome,”

“....Yeah well you might wanna rethink that answer babe,” Chloe’s eyes were wide as she handed you her phone. She had googled RAUL ESPARZA, and the images that popped up were-- Rafael’s face.

“Oh my God…” You whispered, showing Rafael the phone. He quickly pulled out his own and started searching for himself. You handed Chloe back her phone and did the same. Pages and pages of articles about Raul Esparza’s shows, and accelaides, and all with Rafael's face plastered all over them.

“He’s….me,” Rafael whispered in horror.

“He looks more like you than you do!” You teased, he looked at you with a very serious face. Clearly he was not ready to joke about this yet.

“Holy shit. This is some multiverse shit,” Chloe muttered as she went through her Google search.

“Excuse me?” You asked her.

“You know, the multiverse theory? There’s an infinite amount of universes in every decision anyone ever makes.”

“Meaning…?” Rafael asked.

“Isn’t it obvious?” Chloe raised an eyebrow. “Raul could be Rafael, if he hadn’t given up on his Broadway dream,”

“Oh my god,” Rafael started laughing. “Chloe, did you get loaded in the park or something?”

“Oh okay, so you have a better idea, big brain lawyer?” She crossed her arms.

“He might not, but I do,” You piped up, showing her your phone.

“Doppelgangers?” Chloe read with a face.

“Yes, it’s a fact that there are 5 people in the world with the EXACT same face,” You continued reading.

“And he just happens to live in New York, where Rafael lives? AND is on Broadway, the one thing Rafael gave up?”

“Look sure it’s a million to one shot that those events would line up, but what’s more plausible: Doppelganger or ‘Multiverse’?” You looked at Chloe, who looked at Rafael, so you turned to Rafael as well.

“...Wha--are you asking me?” He asked.

“I mean it is your face,” You shrugged. “What do you think, baby?”

“I’m leaning towards a doppelganger, sorry Chloe,” He shrugged as well.

“Yeah well, you’re probably right,” Chloe nodded as she read her own phone, still on Raul Esparza info. “Most likely because he’s five years YOUNGER than you,”

“WHAT?!” Rafael grabbed her phone; as he read it, his face fell. “Oh God, no…”

“Wha--What does it matter how old he is, Rafa?” You furrowed your brows.

“Or the fact that he’s clearly thinner and more attractive,” Chloe added with a smirk.

“CHLOE,” You scolded her. “What the ever loving fuck?”

“Well, I’m just saying-- Look at them side by side,” Chloe had a photo of Rafael from some mayor’s ball next to Raul Esparza at the Tonys, both in tuxedo’s. You wouldn’t admit to Rafael but Raul was definitely thinner, and...he looked a lot younger. It was probably Botox or something you were sure, but still….

“Okay but again WHY does it matter--?” You wanted to change the subject.

“Are you kidding me? Y/N-- This is what you want to do!” He gestured to Chloe’s phone.

“....I don’t want Raul--” You started.

“No, you want to be on Broadway though!! And, and what if someday, God forbid, you end up in a show with this guy? He clearly already has a leg up on me compatibility wise, and as Chloe so kindly pointed out, a leg up on me age and attractiveness wise, and--” Rafael started ranting and rambling, talking lightening fast, as he did when he got upset or excited.

“Whoa whoa whoa whoa, back up there counselor,” You put up a hand to his face. “Are you actually insinuating that if I worked with Raul Esparza, that I would magically fall in love with him?”

“Don’t say it like that,” Rafael was triggered by the mention of magic and love.

“Okay but I’m not even saying ‘magic’ magic, I’m just saying-- What do you think because he’s an actor, and younger than you I’m just going to think I’m better off with him? Just because he has your face?” You gave him a small “oh honey” smile as you placed your hands on either of his face.

“No, but if you have to play his love interest, and you spend every day with him, it might blur the lines--” He started grumbling.

“Rafael, baby--” You shook his head in your hands. “I am still in SCHOOL. I am nowhere NEAR being in a Broadway show as a freaking techie, let alone a love interest starring opposite Raul Esparza,”

“Yeah, I mean this guy is huge-- 3 Tonys, 2 Emmys, an Oscar--” Chloe rattled off, but stopped when she realized you were glaring at her. “What? I’m helping!”

“...See? He’s far too famous for me,” You pressed your forehead to Rafael’s.

“Right, and I’m just the lowly ADA,” He muttered.

“Lowly my ass, Rafa,” You hit him playfully. “You are the most respected ADA in all of New York,”

“I’m the only ADA of New York,” He made a face.

“Not true! Just the city,” You beamed, proud of yourself you did some research once you had gotten together.

“My point is Rafael,” You now put your hands on his collar and pulled yourself into him. “You are all the acclaim I need,” You kissed him softly. “You’re my everything, I mean for fuck’s sake you just held a one man flash mob to propose to me! Let’s Raul Esparza do THAT,” You laughed, hoping to make him feel better. As his scowl melted into a smile, you knew you had succeeded.

“That was pretty romantic wasn’t it?” He beamed, proud of himself.

“It was EPIC,” Chloe chimed in, for good this time.

“Your voice is beautiful by the way,” You had forgotten in the midst of all of the romantic hubbub to compliment him. “I’m really sorry you had to give up Broadway,”

“Yeah, well-- apparently some part of me didn’t,” He gestured to his phone.

“Well he doesn’t have me,” You pointed out.

“He doesn’t know what he’s missing.” Rafael grinned as he pulled you into a deep kiss.

“Now can we please just forget about--” You hesitated, deciding not to mention his name again. “Anything else, and just focus on our engagement night?”

“Well, I suppose--” He nodded as he put an arm around you, and the three of you continued to walk through the park.

-------

Across town in a swanky New York Penthouse, an alert went off on Raul Esparza’s phone. He had it set to notify him any time his name appeared in a headline on the internet. He glanced over and picked it up, reading the notification. As he read it, his eyes widened and his face grew red. He stood up and yelled to no one in particular,

“Who the FUCK is trying to impersonate me?!”

#rafael barba #rafael barba imagine #rafael barba x reader #rafael barba fanficton #raul esparza fanfiction #but not really #anon ask #black magic #doppelganger #law and order svu fanfiction

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spnfanficpond · 4 years ago

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Pond Diving - Queen-of-deans-booty

Welcome to today’s Pond Diving Spotlight! We hope that you enjoy this little insight to our members and perhaps even find some useful tips for your own writing. Happy reading!

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“Don’t Be Koi About It” - All About You

Name: Jordan

Age: 23

Location: Arizona, USA

URL: @queen-of-deans-booty

Why did you choose your URL: Honestly, Dean is the first person I liked on SPN and his ass is so tight and I believe all women are queens so that’s why.

What inspired you to become a writer: I remember reading a book in middle school about vampires, and it’s the first book I remember reading that made me feel all sorts of emotions that books never used to do for me before then. It amazed me to feel these things from a book, and I realized that I wanted to do that for other people someday, thus, is why I became a writer.

How long have you been writing: Gosh, since 8th grade. Might have been a little bit before that, but I remember in 8th grade writing a full book at 20k words, which if I might say, is impressive for a thirteen-year-old.

What do you do when you are not writing i.e. Job/Hobbies etc? I actually am a security guard at a chemical plant. There is some down time to this job, and I try to spend it writing. I even gush to my boss about the stories I write and where I post, and he is all for supporting me about it. When I am not working or writing, then I am either watching Criminal Minds, Manifest, and movies while in my room. With this COVID thing going on right now, I barely leave my house as it is xD

How long have you been in the SPN Fandom? Since season 11 was on TV. It was actually after season 11 had ended and before season 12 had started, so in that four-month span, I managed to watch 11 seasons.

Are you in any other fandoms and do you write for them? Yes! I am in the Marvel and Criminal Minds fandom! I used to be in The Vampire Diaries fandom, but I lost my passion for it so I knew my writing was suffering, so I stopped it. I am doing series rewrites for all three of my fandoms along with one-shots and drabbles!

Do you do any writing outside of fanfiction? If so, tell us about it? Yes, I try to. I took a NaNoWriMo class in college that made me write my first real book, so that is exciting. I also took fiction classes that made me write poems and short stories. I do want to get into writing more original fiction, but right now, I am focusing more on fanfiction.

Favorite published author: I love Riley Sager, B.A. Paris, James Patterson, Ruth Ware, and there are specific books I adore, but they aren’t from the authors I mentioned. I tend to like books rather than authors.

Have you ever read a book that made an impact on your life? Which one and why?: Vampire Kisses by Ellen Schreiber. That's the book that I mentioned about inspiring me to write, and I dedicate my love for writing to her.

Favorite genre of fanfic (smut, angst, fluff, crack, rpf, etc): I really enjoy reading fluff, but I enjoy writing angst because I feel I can have a lot more emotions and feels when I write angst.

Favorite piece of your own writing: My SPN series rewrite. I am currently planning season 7, and I am in the process of releasing season 6. I have gotten so many good reviews of it, and that fuels my passion for it.

Most underrated fic you have written: I can’t think of any at the top of my head. I tend not to look back on my own writing too much. I’ll have an overwhelming need to rewrite it and fix it up, and I don’t need that right now xD

Story of yours that you’d most like to see turned into a movie/tv show: Is it bad to say my series rewrite? It’s already a show, but I’d like to see my version of the show. If I can’t pick that, then my original fiction novel that I wrote that has over 70k words. That would be pretty cool.

Favorite Tumblr Writer(s): @impala-dreamer, @torn-and-frayed, @crispychrissy, @kittenofdoomage, @acreativelydifferentlove, @saxxxology, and there are others, but those are some of the people that come to mind.

Favorite fic from another writer: Can I mention a few? Rock, Paper, Scissors by @impala-dreamer, The Curious Incident of Episode 14x09 by @luci-in-trenchcoats, On the Road by @notnaturalanahi, Cherry Surprise by @crispychrissy, A Change of Scenery by @cass-trash, and On the Case Files (Criminal Minds fandom) by @hotchnerfuckmeup.

Favorite character to write: For Supernatural, it’ll have to be Dean Winchester. For Marvel, it’ll have to be either Loki or Bucky. For Criminal Minds, it’ll have to be Spencer Reid

Favorite Pairing to write: I only write reader-inserts so the characters don’t really matter as long as it’s x reader.

Least favorite character to write (and why): For Supernatural, it’s Crowley. I don’t know why, but I can never seem to get him right. He’s more sadistic and hardcore sometimes and I just can’t get that right.

Do you have anyone you consider a mentor? I don’t really have anyone right now. It used to be my teachers/professors, but I graduated and I don’t see them anymore.

Do you have any aspirations involving your writing? I want to be a published author. That’s all I want. I want to see my books on the shelves, and I’d also love to be a fiction editor! I can’t do anything right now because of COVID, but hopefully one day!

How many work-in-progress stories do you have: More than I can count right now. Like seriously, I probably have over 100. I have a bunch of bingo cards that I have ideas for, but I have so many that they all just pile on. There will come a time when I get through all of them, but I don’t know when.

What are you currently working on? Right now? Some requests and my spn series rewrite.

“Pond Diving” - All About The Writing

What/who has had the biggest influence on your writing? Like I mentioned above, it’s Ellen Schreiber. She is the one person that made me want to become a writer. Also, all my followers on all of my blogs. They are the truest influencers because they are what gives me passion for my writing.

Best writing advice you've been given: Write as if you’re the only audience. I’ve learned that if you don’t like what you’re writing about, then your audience will certainly see it. You can’t please everyone, so please yourself. There will always be someone who loves your writing for what it is, so don’t go changing it to please others.

Biggest obstacle you’ve faced in your writing: Trying to pace myself. I’ve heard of people spending two or three days (or even longer) on a fic. It’s either all or nothing with me. I either spend two or three hours on a fic and complete it right there and then, or I don’t write it at all. Pacing is an issue for me, and I am always trying to spend longer on a fic. I guess I just type really fast, I don’t know.

What aspects of writing do you find difficult when you write fanfiction? I find that trying to keep the character as canon as possible is most difficult. While it’s not always super hard, it does have its moments. All fanfiction are AUs, so it’s okay to change the characters to make them your own. While I don’t think one should make them the complete opposite if they are wanting to stay within canon, I do believe it’s okay to change a few things around.

Is there anything you want to write but are afraid to (and why): I want to write ships. Now that I think about it, I’m not quite sure why I don’t write them. Maybe it’s time that I start.

What inspires/motivates you to write: Feedback!!! Reader’s don’t always see it, but every piece of feedback I get makes me want to write. I do better knowing there are actual people out there that are looking forward to what I write. I do better knowing that real people are reading them and judging it. I do my best knowing that there is an audience. If I don’t get feedback, then that motivation just goes away.

How do you deal with self doubt: I’m not so sure I always do. There is always a voice in the back of my mind telling me that my stories are complete and utter shit, and I shouldn’t bother writing anything. It’s why I take a step back from writing so often. When I first started my blog, I came out with fics every single day. I was always writing new stories. Now, I may get a story out per week. Maybe two per week. I know when it’s time to take a break for a few days because it gives that voice time to calm down. My best advice for someone dealing with self doubt is to just take a break. Separate yourself from the thing that your mind is telling you that you suck at. Take care of you before jumping back into it. Trust me, it helps.

How do you deal with writer's block: Kind of the same thing as I mentioned above. I have suffered from writer’s block a lot more than in my earlier years. Sometimes, I just don’t have the motivation or the passion to write, and I just get so mad at myself for not doing it. One of the things that help me is writing down my ideas. Yeah, I get ideas that float in my head about stories I’d like to write, but actually writing them down makes them concrete. Then, I am able to make notes and side notes and notes of my notes about what I’d like to happen, and before I know it, I’m writing it.

Do you plan/outline your story before you start: ALWAYS! Always, always, always plan your writing, especially if you’re doing a series. It’s good to know what is going on in your story. You don’t always have to follow it to the exact detail (you’re allowed to make changes as you go), but having a plan makes it easier to get through your story. You’re able to look back at it and remind yourself why you're writing that exact scene or if something needs to be added or taken away from it. If you have a plan, then you’re less likely to lose that passion since you know what’s going to happen. You’re able to see the finish line well before you start.

Do you have any weird writing habits: This may be weird, but I like to listen to Got U On by Darci feat. Nessly, Highest in the Room by Travis Scott, some music by Juice WRLD, and other loud rap songs. Don’t ask me why, but I find the music soothing when I write. Those rap songs sound the same to me, and their voices just drown out so I’m just listening to the music. There are other kinds of music I listen to like piano instrumentals and rain/thunder sounds, but it’s really any song I can tune out.

Have you ever received hateful comments on your fic and how do you deal with it? I don’t want to sound arrogant or snobby, but I can honestly say I’ve never received one hateful comment on anything I’ve written (knock on wood xD). I’ve only received good things about my stories, and I think it has something to do with how much good energy I am putting into the world. I believe in karma, and I tend to be nice to everyone regardless of who they are, and I think it comes back to the kind of comments I receive. However, I always think about what I’d do or say if I’ve ever gotten a hate comment. I wouldn’t encourage them to send more hate, but I wouldn’t apologize either. I write the stories I write because it makes me happy. If they don’t like it, they can go somewhere else. Though, I know those hate comments can get to some people, and here is what I have to say about that: remind yourself of when you actually wrote the fic. If you were truly happy about it, then it shouldn’t matter what that person says. You love it, and that’s all that matters.

Conversely: what’s been some of your favorite feedback on your fanfic? I have to pick a favorite? XD I have an album in my phone of screenshots I took of my favorite comments left by my followers. I’ve been compared to John Green, there have been comments that thank me for giving them an escape from their realities, people have told me they want to write just like me someday, people have told me that my work has made them smile and get chills, that my stories are the highlight of their week, and a bunch of other stuff. I am just shocked that there are people out there who think this. It means so much to me, and I get tears when I read them because this is literally my dream. I can’t thank my followers enough for the comments they leave, and this is exactly why it’s so important to leave feedback.

If you could give one piece of advice to a new and/or struggling writer, what would it be? Write for you. I can’t stress this enough. I’ve mentioned it before, and I’m going to mention it again. If you’re not happy, it will show through your writing. Your audience will see it based on how you word things and your flow of ideas. On another note, please brush up on your grammar. I can’t tell you how many times I read such an interesting summary, and noticed the story was full of grammatical mistakes. It made me not want to read it anymore. I’m sure it was a great story, but I didn’t want to put myself through that just to read it.

#pond diving #spnfanficpond

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janiedean · 4 years ago

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I’m not in the spn fandom, but I’ve seen some people say it’s homophobic while others are saying that destiel is canon. What’s that about?

oh boy where do I start

I’ll try to make it brief but you’ve gotta keep this stuff in mind:

this show went on... at least six years longer than it should have like post s8 it was obvious they were trying to cobble ideas together to air something and by s12 it jumped the shark to a level where it was just ridiculous, so basically everything that’s happened since more or less around then was filler to keep the breathing machine on until the cw laid it to rest

the whole deancas thing came out in a context where... right guys i’ve been there since SEASON THREE WAS AIRING I REMEMBER SHIT so let me tell you that basically until cas was introduced the only fandom ships with a traction were pretty much different declinations of win/cest with the j2 rpf stuff taking like... 99% and 99% of fps and rpf respectively because there was literally no other main and like... not everyone was gonna be into sibling/parental incest or rpf obviously but anyway when castiel showed up basically deancas was the only other m/m ship that actually wasn’t incest floating around and it went big very very soon

now, they had planned to keep cas around as a guest for like some ten eps and then he should have been replaced with another angel character who basically was a human woman who realized she actually was a fallen angel and cas should have died in like s4 ep 10 and anna (the other char) should have been dean’s guide into stopping the apocalypse except that the writers realized castiel was very well-received and the ratings spiked up so they went like QUICK QUICK SWITCH didn’t kill him off and basically gave him the part anna was supposed to have

now now, dean and anna fucked in part two of her two-parter introduction arc lmao or was it even part one but anyway she was supposed to be a love interest and they thought S5 would have been the last so you do your math

then: they’re at S15 and obviously they didn’t go there but

spn fandom also is like... toxicity™ incarnated like before voltron and su there was spn fandom, all the sides were terrible, the side that harassed the actors was worse and like.... sadly a bunch of exclusively j2 people who did harass the actors were also preminent winc/esters and put money into cons and there was a whole circus I can’t even begin getting into but like basically the least dramatic thing that could happen was that the cw would release pictures of dean and cas on their own for promotional reasons and the smm would get a bunch of verbal abuse tweets BECAUSE WHERE IS SAM YOU LOST THE SPIRIT OF THE SHOW

also there were campaigns to fire misha which almost worked for s7 then they saw the ratings dropped when he left and QUICK QUICK LET’S RESUSCITATE HIM lmao

also jensen always was like nah dean’s straight I act like they’re friends but he’s also the guy whose wife got continuously harassed by people who thought she was a cover for his secret rship with jared and so on and like he obviously thinks all shippers are out of control and honestly I can’t even blame him for it since from what I gather some ppl started trailing his kids after school I DON’T KNOW but that’s that

on the other side misha never made a mystery that he played it like cas was in love with dean like he said it at cons pretty much and like..... regardless of everything if there’s one thing misha collins wouldn’t do is milking it for clout bc honestly the guy is a solid ally and has a bi wife/used to be in a poly rship and always put his money where his mouth was re lgbt support so there’s that too

now... back in 2011 and s8 where there was a scene that was the exact EXACT same shit that happened when they canonized my marvel comics #1 ship (like srsly except the marvel ship kissed at the end of that scene) I went like ‘okay they know the undertones they’re obviously marching on it but seeing how this show is and how the fanbase is if it ever goes canon either it’s one sided or it ends with sam becoming a research guru and dean and cas drive off in the sunset hunting monsters without actually saying it out loud’ and it would have been like... soft-not-quite-there canonization but regardless I also said if that ever happens it’s gonna be in the last fifteen minutes of the finale because they don’t want the fandom drama to actually hit them in the face and how to put it, the writing has been a joke for seasons but I can’t even...... blame them for it bc honestly I was tired of fandom drama in S7 imagine working on that since 2005

so like I’m 100% not surprised that whatever’s going down is going down when it’s three episodes from the end actually I’m surprised it didn’t happen in the last ten minutes

now: if cas tells dean openly that he loves him and the context is that he got a curse that sends him to hell if he loves someone (idk I didn’t check the specifics BUT) then it is at least one-sided canon black on white and you can’t say they didn’t make it canon

if he goes to hell and he stays there and that’s it... that’s homophobic and bad and they could have just queerbaited their way through it

except that in this dumb show everyone went to hell twice and came back and cas was introduced as having saved dean from it bodily, so like... if this was a well-written show and they weren’t cowards they’d have dean doing the same for him and realizing he reciprocates getting over his 30+ years of emotional constipation and in that case... wouldn’t be qb

now I’m not betting money on that but they also did this... three eps before the end which sets them up to do it actually so I DON’T KNOW but before deciding it’s homophobic as a whole I’d see how it plays out also bc again this was nEVER gonna happen before the end but the fact that the end kept on being pushed and it wasn’t like... nine seasons but fifteen just made it look ridiculous and like it took them years to get there when if they had been axed in S10 when it would have been merciful.... maybe it wouldn’t have been

so like... either way I wanna see how it plays out but as stated, called in 2011 it could have gone like this the moment we got in the final stretch :)))

anyway: it’s confirmed canon on one side so it’s canon imvho

/shrug

#welcome to my ted talk #otp: don't ever change #i mean.... dkjgkjds #also fun fact: jensen ackles owns my s8 dvds lmao #THIS HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH DEANCAS BEING CANON BUT #Anonymous #ask post

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thatonedoctorwhoau · 4 years ago

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Chapter 7! I feel I should mention that I have no idea how to write children, so if Tommy and Tubbo come off as very mature for 10 year-olds, you know why. As always, special thanks to @dtvibez for all her help, so go send her all your love and support

Summary: 24 hours ago, George Ashworth lived a completely normal life, with completely normal people, and a completely normal job. 24 hours later, he was running for his life beside a man he had met mere hours prior from an otherworldly monster. Suffice to say, this was the start of something new and wonderful. And hair-pulling annoying.

On Tuesday the 22, October 2015, at precisely 11:00 pm, Tommy Anderson and Tubbo Smith stared in awe at the sight before them. The box they had been trapped in was not a box, it was something much more.

“Tubbo,” Tommy asked, breathing heavily, “Are you seeing what I’m seeing?”

“Yeah,” Tubbo responded. “I think so.”

Beyond them, a small bridge lined with rails led to a center octagon, where what Tommy assumed was a control panel. The panel was silver and covered in switches, buttons, and levers. On top of the control panel, a long tube jutted into the air, with tv placed on a rotator. The tube had lines of a silver liquid running through it, which connected into a shape that reminded Tommy of a whale's tail. Above the aforementioned tail hovered three yellow crystals, bobbing up and down ever so slightly. The walls of the room were black and covered in small dots, similar to what Tommy recognized as braille. Zig-Zag shaped beams shot from the floor below into the ceiling, lined with white stripes of light.

Tubbo and Tommy walked forward, running their hands along the rail, before stepping onto the central octagon floor, examining the panel. A series of monitors made up the first area of the console, followed by a lever that had a large red ball at the end of it. Tubbo focused his attention on the small portable tv connected to the tube. Taking hold of its handles, he extended it forward, in an attempt to see what was on it. The tv showed a set of circles, with lines emitting from it. Unable to decipher what it meant, Tubbo moved it back to its original position.

“Hey Tubbo,” Tommy yelled from the other side of the control panel. Tubbo turned to look at him. “Do you think I should press this button?”

Tubbo thought back to the words of the man who’d locked them in here. “I’m pretty sure the guy told us not to touch anything, so, no!” Tommy pouted and muttered to himself, but took his hands off of the panel

The boys were startled by the sound of someone yelling, and turned to look back at the door. “What was that?” Tommy asked.

They soon had their answer, as seconds later, the door slammed open, and the strange man ran in, clutching a bundle in his hands. “Hey, what's going on?!” Tommy yelled. The strange man knelt down and leaned the bundle against the rail, before running along the railway onto the central octagon, turning right and running down the path and vanishing. “What is that…” Tommy asked hesitantly, trailing off. Tubbo stepped forward, taking a closer look at it. Realization dawned on him when he spotted the familiar shade of blue.

“It's George,” he whispered in shock.

+++

“Is he going to make it out of this?” Tubbo asked quietly. The three were sitting in one of the rooms located within the massive box. Across from them, George lay asleep, bandages and an oxygen mask covering most of his face.

After George was brought onto the box, Tubbo and Tommy had rushed over to him, attempting to wake him up. The babysitter was covered in blood, and as they had shaken him, his blood began to soak their hands. The stranger returned, taking George into his arms. Tubbo and Tommy protested, but the man ignored them, walking towards the other side of the ship. The boys followed him into a room that resembled a surgery room that Tubbo had seen on TV. The man placed George onto bed, and placed a mask over his head.

Tommy protested initially, attempting to protect his friend, but the man quickly reassured him that if he didn’t intervene now, George wouldn’t survive. With no other options, the boys left the room, not wanting to see what the man was going to do.

Approximately 7 minutes later, the man beckoned them back into the room, where they sat down. The man explained that George had been badly wounded, with severe damage to his intestines and lungs. Through his efforts and the ‘power of hydrodime,’ the man had been able to heal him enough so that he could be put into a coma, before he could attend to the injuries on his head and back.

With a sigh, the stranger rose from his seat. “My name is Wilbur, pleasure to meet you.” He said, extending his hand in greeting. Tommy took his hand first.

“I’m Tommy.” He muttered, letting his hand fall down quickly. Wilbur turned to Tubbo, hand outstretched

“I’m Tubbo.” He said, shaking the others hand. “Is George going to be okay?” Wilbur looked back at the man on the bed.

“He will be.” He said.

“How long do you think he’ll be like, that?” Tommy asked hesitantly. Wilbur paused for a moment before speaking.

“While his injuries were pretty severe, the hydrodime will help heal him at a faster rate. I suspect he’ll be back to normal in...” he counted on his hand. “Three to four business days, given the current rate of exchange.” Tommy let out a moan.

“What am I gonna tell my mum?” He exclaimed. “She’ll kill me when she sees the mess we’ve made.”

“I’ll think of something, don’t worry. Pull out the ol’ Soot charm” Wilbur said, sitting back down on his chair and adjusting his jacket.

Tommy wore a disgusted look on his face. “Please do not flirt with my mother.

Wilbur ignored the child's response. “For now, I’m allowing you guys to stay with me. There's still two of the Marcorx running amuck, and I can’t have you getting hurt.”

“What's a Marcorx?” Tubbo asked.

“They’re those things that attacked you. The Marcorx are some of the most territorial creatures in the universe. They’re constantly on the move, trying to find a ‘perfect home.’ Now typically, they travel by themselves, but three, in one group. It's extremely rare to even see two of them together, let alone three.” Wilbur trailed off.

“Why did they attack us?” Tommy asked, scooching his chair closer to Tubbos.

“Well, it's difficult to say.” Wilbur began. “In order to find their ‘perfect home,’ a Marcorx will need to find a living being of enough energy to steal.”

“So they’re vampires?” Tubbo interjected. Wilbur considered his statement for a moment, before continuing.

“In a way, I suppose so.” A silence began to fill the room. The sound of George's heart rate monitor beeping intermittently, becoming the indication of a passage in time.

“How did you know how to save us?” Tommy asked quietly, turning to look at Wilbur. The man looked down.

“I had an inkling that something was going to happen. My Tardis has a sensor on it that can track explosions of alien energy across the planet, and while it isn’t always the most accurate, it led me here.”

“What about George?” Tubbo interjected. “You act like you’ve met him before, but he's never mentioned you”

Wilbur let out a small chuckle. “I met him this morning. I decided to pop into a local school for a spell, see if I could find any evidence of alien activity. Imagine my surprise when this random bloke runs into my class, yelling about a monster chasing him.”

“Wait,” Tommy exclaimed, voice raising, “This wasn’t the first time this happened?”

Wilbur shook his head, “Nope, based off his language, this is probably the third time this has happened today.

In the next moments, Tubbo became aware of three things. The first being Tommy’s angry screaming at Wilbur for failing to prevent the attack from happening. The second being Wilbur's attempt at a refute being overshadowed by Tommy's continued swearing. And the third being the shuffling noises coming from Georges bed, as heart rate monitor began speeding up

+++

“George?” Tubbo whispered quietly.

Wilbur turned at the sound, spotting the boy in green making his way towards the man's bed. George's body had begun to shake, and he could hear small groans of pain coming from him. Stepping away from Tommy, he told the child to shut up, which caused Tommy to let out a gasp of shock. Wilbur then checked George's heart rate monitor, which had begun to speed up.

“George,” he said, breaking the momentary silence that had filled the room. “George, are you with us?” He placed his right hand on the man's shoulder, nudging it in an attempt to wake him up. George's eyes remained closed, but his body began to shake more violently than before. His heart rate monitor grew louder.

“George, you have to wake up!” Tubbo exclaimed, reaching over and shaking the man's shoulders. By now, Wilbur noted how his eyeballs were moving frantically back and forth underneath his eyelids, and how he had begun sweating a terrible deal. Wilbur moved away from Georges bedside, racking his brain for a plan, ‘I can’t let him die like this.’ He thought to himself. ‘I just got started, I can’t lose someone so soon, not like last time.’ As he attempted to think of any helpful action, his eyes landed on the medical table a few feet away. The table was covered in a variety of silver instruments, but what drew Wilburs attention the most was the panacea, a yellow cylinder shaped like an epi pen.

The panacea was an item of great value, known throughout the galaxy as one of the most powerful healing treatments in existence. Several lifetimes ago, Wilbur had been sent on a quest to retrieve the item from the acidic caves of Zarlint, in order to save the dying queen. He hadn’t been quick enough, and after the queens death, he had been banned from the star system she had ruled. Wilbur had kept the instrument, as a reminder of his failure.

Wilbur looked back towards George's heart rate monitor. The device was beeping frantically, but the main cause of concern came from the Gallifreyan spindles glitching across its screen. In a language the children could not understand, they spelled out a grim prediction. Unless he intervened with the panacea, George's body would burn up from within, and he would be dead within a matter of minutes. ‘Is he worth saving?’ The question bounced around in his mind. Afterall, George was merely a human, insignificant to the vastness of the universe. Wilbur had no way of knowing which galaxies or planets he could save from destruction with such a device.

‘But,’ a voice echoed through his head, ‘He could be more than anyone could expect. Even the most insignificant being could alter the universe in incredible ways. He said he knew you, but you’ve just gotten started. Isn’t it worth discovering how?’

Making his decision, Wilbur leapt forward and grabbed the panacea, ripping the cap off of it. “Get out of the way.” He said, rolling up his sleeves.”

“What are you doing?” Tommy exclaimed, moving to stand in front of George, Tubbo joining his side.

“I’m trying to save his life!” Wilbur responded. The heart rate monitors beeping increased.

“What is that?” Tommy asked, pointing at the panacea.

“Its an epi-pen!” Wilbur lied.

“George doesn’t have an epi-pen.”

“Tommy-”

“Tommy, please stop. Just let him save George” Tubbo shouted, grabbing his friend's arm. Tommy stared at him in shock, before relenting, allowing for the man to pass. Wilbur took a hold of Georges forearm, shook the panacea several times, before stabbing it into Georges arm. The panacea made a sharp clicking noise, before letting out a small ping. Wilbur removed the device from George's arm and placed the device into a nearby trash bin. George's body began to cease its rapid movement, and with a deep sigh, returned back to its previous lax state.

The heart rate monitors quiet beeping became the only noise filling the room.

After several minutes, a shuffling could be heard from Georges bed again, causing the three to stand up and cautiously approached the man. For a moment, they remained silent, before a low moan was emitted from George

Slowly, his eyes fluttered open, squinting at the light. “Wilbur?” He asked in confusion

#mcyt #minecraft #dream team #georgenotfound #wilbur soot #tommyinnit #tubbo #my writing #doctor who au #three identical strangers

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queen-of-the-avengers · 5 years ago

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Words Can’t Describe...

Characters: Chris Evans x Reader, minor characters

Word Count: 1,651

Warnings: just fluff, super sweet Chris, skiing injury

Summary: You and Chris are high school sweethearts. You’ve been through every up and downs there are, and right now, you need him for a really big down.

Author’s Note: If you have any requests, please send them in! This is unbeta’d and any and all mistakes are all on me.

This is the December 15th fic for my 25 Days of RPF Christmas and prompt: “you’re in the hospital for the holidays so i came in while you were sleeping to decorate your room i love you merry christmas”

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Chris Evans became a lot of your firsts in life: first kiss, first time you had sex, first time you slowed dance together, first date, and so many more firsts you hold dearly to your heart. He is your high school sweetheart, and everyone who knew you two knew you would be together forever. Being with someone since high school is so much more intimate than anything you’ve ever experienced. Chris knows your ups and downs, has seen you at your worst and at your best, knows what you like and what you don’t like, etc. Some might think it’s annoying to have someone who knows you so well, but it works for you two.

There isn’t a holiday you haven’t spent apart except for the summer of 2009 when he went to film The Losers that came out in April of 2010. You couldn’t spend the 4th of July with him which sucked, but he was happy doing what he loves on yet another film set. You’re so proud of what he’s accomplished and the person he’s become. He’s been through so much and has gotten you through so much in your life, you don’t think you can ever repay him.

There was one time at Thanksgiving when you were supposed to cook the meal for your entire family. Chris’ and your family were coming over to your house for the big celebration. You love hanging out with his family since they are so welcoming and inviting, but there was one small issue you forgot to mention to them when they appointed you the cook: you can’t cook.

You thought you would try it this year to prove to your family you’re more than capable of living on your own. They always did the grunt work for you, but it’s your time to do things for yourself. Chris usually does the cooking, but he’s out with his friends right now, and you don’t want to pull him away from that. He doesn’t get to see them often, so you have to pull yourself together if you’re going to cook this dinner.

Seven pots and pans, one burned ham, and several fried asparagus later, and you’re about to have a mental breakdown in the middle of your kitchen. Chris is coming home soon, yours and his family not long after that, and you’re not even close to being done. The turkey is the only thing you know how to cook since you slather on some spices and throw it in the oven. It’s the only thing you know how to not fuck up.

“Y/N, you home?” Chris asked when he entered the house. He could smell the food burning, but he knows how important this is to you so he decided not to comment on it.

“In here,” you whimpered. Chris enters and sees you in tears at the ruined food all around you. “I can’t do it. I fucked everything up, the turkey is in the oven, but I bet it’s fucked up too.”

“Hey, there is no reason to get upset. Not everyone knows how to cook,” he cooed and brought you into his arms for a reassuring hug.

“Our families are going to be here soon! What am I going to do? They expect a full feast when they get here!”

“Then that’s what they’re going to come home to. We can fix this,” he said positively. You give him a pointed look with a raised eyebrow. “Okay, I can fix this. Just clear out some of these pans and I’ll do the rest.”

“I can’t even cook a simple meal,” you sighed and started clearing out some of the dishes.

“Not everyone can. You’re good at a lot of things, just not cooking. But that’s okay because lucky for you, I love cooking. I’ll even let you help me. Don’t worry, I’ll be right here to oversee everything.”

“I love you,” you managed to smile.

“I love you too. Now, we have two hungry families coming over, so we need to get started right away.”

He saved that Thanksgiving and prevented it from becoming ruined for good. Both families arrived to a table full of food. It was a bitch to clean up, but you and Chris had fun. He’s saved your ass so many times, but you have your fair share of saving as well. Like, for instance, two years ago, Chris got pulled over for speeding and was arrested for it. Luckily this didn’t get out to any news outlet, so you were able to keep it on the down-low. He called you from the station to help him get bail, which of course, you did.

Chris looked so beaten up in the tiny holding cell he’s been sitting in for the past two hours. You were pulled from a work event to come get him, but you were glad to be pulled away. That work event was such a snooze fest. As soon as he saw you, his eyes lit up in hope you would come get him, but you could still see the shame behind that.

“Do you realize how fast he was driving?” the officer in charge told you once you greeted him. “70 in a 45. I should have him arrested for a federal offense.”

“No, please. Look, I know what he did was bad, but no one got hurt. Isn’t that the most important thing? At least he wasn’t driving on a crowded street. It was a back road, and there wasn’t a car around for miles.”

“Y/N,” the officer sighed.

“Please let him go. He’s not off the hook, believe you me. He’s sleeping on the couch tonight. Look, he won’t do it again. I’ll make sure of it,” you promised. Anyone who knows you knows that you can be stern and mean if you wanted to, which usually meant you got what you wanted.

“If I pull him over again, then I’m arresting him and he’ll have to go to court,” the officer sighs and takes out his keys.

“Yes, that’s fine. He won’t do it again. Thank you so much,” you sighed in relief. The officer let out your boyfriend with a glare, and you had to drag Chris out of the police station angrily.

“How did you get him to let me go?”

“That’s my uncle you dumbass. 70 in a 45? What the hell were you thinking?” you gritted out as both of you got into the car.

That was a tough situation to be in since you didn’t want to use the family excuse to have him let go scot-free. The good news is that Chris never sped again and has been a really good driver ever since. That, and you did most of the driving anyway. There’s a ton of other things you and Chris have gone through, but what you’re going through now has got to be the worst of the worst.

He took you skiing a few weeks ago, and you ended up hurt pretty badly. So badly, that you had to stay in the hospital for two months, which means you will be missing Christmas. It’s your favorite holiday since you have a ton of kids on your mom’s side that you love spoiling. It’s not Chris’ fault you wiped out so badly, but you’re angry with yourself that you thought you could do something you knew your body wasn’t ready for. You wanted to show off for Chris and look where you ended up.

It’s bad enough you’ll be missing Christmas with your family, but Chris got called to do some interviews and press events over the holiday. If it was any other time, he would have said no, but you made him take it since you’re going to be stuck in the hospital for a long time. You’ve been in and out of sleep for the past few weeks from the morphine they are giving you, so you’re not exactly sure who’s been coming and going, and who drops off what. What you do know is that when you went to sleep your room looked like a normal hospital room.

When you woke up, it was a whole different story.

Different colored Christmas lights hung from the ceiling, a small plastic tree with fake snow littered the top. The tree was decorated with white lights and small Christmas decorations. Christmas stickers are plastered on the windows, and a small section of the corner was covered with presents.

“What the hell?” you mumble.

“You’re up,” Chris grins from the other side of the room. It takes a few seconds for you to register that he's here, and a grin pops on your face because of it.

“You’re back. I thought you were in Florida.”

“I was, but I came back here. I hate leaving you on such an important holiday so I canceled everything that was planned to spend Christmas here with you.”

“You did that for me?” you squeak. “You did all of this for me?”

“You’re in the hospital for the holidays, so I came in while you were sleeping to decorate your room. I love you. Merry Christmas,” he smiles and plants a kiss to your smooth cheek.

“I love you so much,” you start to cry.

“No, don’t cry.”

“These are happy tears. I don’t know what I would do without you. I can’t imagine my life without you, Christopher Robert Evans.”

“Then you’re lucky I stuck around all these years, Y/F/N Y/M/N Y/L/N,” he jokes. He sees how tired you are, so he takes a seat next to your bed and picks up a book you didn’t realize was on the table next to you. “Go back to sleep. I’ll be here when you wake up.”

“Okay,” you whisper and let yourself fall asleep knowing you’re always going to be caught when you fall.

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beatrice-otter · 5 years ago

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Yuletide Recs 2019

Happy Yuletide, everyone! First, I got a delightful little fic written for me: promenade. My Fair Lady, Eliza Doolittle and Mrs. Higgins. Wonderful story. Mrs. Higgins was superb, and Eliza's reactions to the English upper class abroad are perfect. Here are some other fics I have enjoyed: 4'33"--John Cage The Sound Of A Yuletide Fic Not Being Written. There sure are a lot of cars going by. Great meta look at writing, and 4'33" The Addams Family (movies) An Addams Family Contract (Written in Secret, Signed in Blood). “I’m an Addams,” Debbie protests indignantly. Immediately after making this statement, Debbie realized that it was true. (Or, Wednesday wants to exorcise Debbie. Debbie wants to kill Wednesday. A negotiation begins.) This is AMAZING and hysterically funny, and the thought of Debbie and Wednesday working together is TERRIFYING. Don't I Deserve Love (and Jewelry). The plan to win Wednesday’s friendship did not start well. She shared her admiration for the girl’s blowtorch, then hinted about her own childhood affinity for matchsticks and fire accelerants, but Wednesday was unimpressed. Do better,” she said before lowering her hockey mask and stalking after Pubert. Honeymoon in Transylvania. Ahahahaha, this is wonderful. Gomez and Morticia vs. the TSA! Alien Series A Room with a Crappy View. 17k of Ripley and Hicks awesomeness post-Aliens. This is an absolutely AMAZEBALLS fic, and I LOVE it. I love that they deal with their trauma. I love how they wrote the Colonel, doing the best she could on the evidence she had and how frustrating that was and yet, when you look at it from her POV, what better way could she have handled it? The action is great, the relationships between Ripley and Hicks and Bishop were awesome, this is an absolute treat. All About Eve Getting Back to Being a Woman. Karen knew enough not to go to New Haven. Never let it be said that Margo Channing doesn't know how to take care of her friends. I love this. I could just hear Bette Davis and the others saying their lines, and the ending is perfect--I think Karen and Lloyd will be able to have a much better relationship after this, if he's willing to accept and live into the changed relationship. Till I have the possession of everything she touches. Addison DeWitt/Eve Harrington and their daughter. VERY well done Addison perspective. Aubrey-Maturin series. Vent de Boulet. Jack & Aubrey, Teen. The aftermath of Stephen's escape from the French interrogators at Port Mahon. Wonderful portrayal of the relationship between them and natural consequences of their trauma-filled lives. Babette's Feast Body and Soul. After the French dinner, a new normal established itself among the faithful. Ballet Shoes A Long Way from the Cromwell Road. Petrova visits Pauline in Hollywood after the war ends. Bletchley Circle Logical Recovery. After the showdown with Marta Magro at the warehouses, Jean, Millie, and Lucy embark for Glasgow to find Eliška. Archival research, an extended stay with Jean's cousin, undercover rescue missions, and much emotional processing of past events ensue. Cabaret Infinite Variety. London, 1950. Clifford has coming looking for Sally. Instead he finds a girl who may or may not be her – or their – daughter, the reclusive former Master of Ceremonies, and an annoying parrot. He becomes part of their strange household, full of love and bickering; sorrow, pain and music. No-one will tell him where Sally is, or even whether she’s alive. No-one will tell him anything. Except the parrot, who tells him that life is a Cabaret. Oh, wow, this is painful but SO GOOD and the ending is perfect. DC Teen Titans From Cold to Fire. "Do you want to go out with me?" "What?" Young Justice Getting Stupid in your area. Hang-time includes considerations of evil clones and taking down a newly raised lich lord. Love the banter. Die Hard Your Answers Please. “Come on, kid,” McClane said gruffly. “This place is fucking depressing. You’re coming to stay with me.” Enchanted Forrest Chronicles Best Served Cold. In which Antorell causes trouble in the Enchanted Forest, and Cimorene and Alianora make an amphibious new friend. Hilarious, I love Ribbita! Ghostbusters Better Than Roses. Janine dates. It's...something. The Goblin Emperor Imperial (non) Immunity. Csevet doesn't get sick. Maia's not so confident. Light a Mourner's Candle. The Archprelate finds a chaplain for Maia. Against a Sure Winter. When the opportunity arose to become one of the four ceremonial bodyguards for the new Emperor, Cala Athmaza volunteered. He didn't fully realize what he was letting himself in for, but he knew in his heart he had made the right choice. Sugar Lumps. Maia spends some time with his horse. Greek Mythology beauty, her artificers. Shortly after their wedding, Aphrodite sustains a small wound. Really great Aphrodite/Hephaestus dynamic. a thing of beauty, golden. Olympus’ one-century wonder appears in Hephaestus’ workshop between one strike on his anvil and the next.. Another really great Aphrodite/Hephaestus fic. Hancock yeah I know the shortcut, rather take the long way. Ray daydreams a New York that looks a lot like something out of an old Daredevil comic - towers looming over the city like cragged, jaded sentries, impartial to the neon kaleidoscope of chaos churning along below them. Hancock roosts on the tallest, craggiest one of course, brooding as he watches the slow pulsing heartbeat of the city below him. Ready to dive off his perch and into action with the first cry of distress, and there’s probably lots of those in a city like New York. Lots of zooming around, saving people, saving the world. Hopefully with slightly less metaphorical middle fingers to the world. And less alcohol. Ray’s not an idiot though, and one sparkly life-changing month doesn’t just fix people. History RPF 15th Century. these late eclipses. Anne Neville, like others of her line, is born with a gift. I LOVE the way magic is brought into this, it melds so well with the history. 19th Century/German folklore The Bargain. Bettina finds a secret door at her grandmother's house, one that leads to something very unexpected. The things she learns as a result change her life in small but important ways. Imperial Radch Still Left in Want of Mercy. The Republic of Two Systems is about a month old. Seivarden is having yet another crisis - can Mercy of Kalr get her through it? Maybe, with the crew's and Fleet Captain's help. Interesting Ship perspective. high above the trees. An unexpected embassy. Really excellent, probably the best way I've ever seen "Awn Lives" done. The Incredibles Life of a Superhero, Junior Grade. Fortunately, this was Tuesday night training, not a real villain-chasing experience. Jonathan Strange and Mr. Norrell The Magicians of Starecross Hall. Being a series of interludes in the life of John Segundus, newly practical magician, in the year following the disappearances of Messrs. Strange and Norrell. Including: a new school for young magicians, explorations of the King’s Roads, Lady Pole’s alarming needle-work, unanticipated trips to Faerie, and John Childermass. I love this story! How the school got started, and 'Miss Wintertowne' (although I do think she would style herself 'Mrs' Wintertowne, because she is married and up through the 18th Century 'Mistress/Mrs' vs. 'Miss' had as much to do with age and experience and such as it did with marital status) and how she uses embroidery as a kind of art therapy. I love the slow burn, and I love the stuff about exploring the King's Roads and Faerie. It is excellent and awesome. Lilo & Stitch The Dance. Lilo peeked out from behind the curtains and looked over the stage. A Little Princess Discipulae. "I just realized," Sara said. "Becky, I could have a tutor now. I could hire someone to teach me anything I wanted. All the things that are hard to learn alone from books — Greek and Latin, Sanskrit, algebra, anything I wanted. What would you learn, Becky, if you could?" Really great look at what their lives could be like post-canon. Marvel Captain Marvel Take my hand (and we'll march to the front lines). There's a dream Vers has sometimes. this youthful heart can love you. Carol waited a week before she left with the Skrulls. Space Cases. Monica tried many other times to win her mother over to a pet. A rabbit, a pony, a parakeet. This is not any of those stories. This is the story of Monica Rambeau and a Flerken named Goose. Or: Why Nick Fury is never allowed to babysit ever again. The Tesseract's Wife. A straight line is not the shortest distance between two points: non-linear snapshots of a love story. Fly Me To The Moon. "It's a vacation. Like spring break," Carol says. Monica's eyes widen. "Really? So we can hang out? What are we going to do?" "Well," Carol says, leaning back in her chair and flashing that old, familiar smirk. "I thought we could go to the moon." Into the Spiderverse i got you. Miles thinks he's hiding the truth about Spider-Man, but one unfortunate night, it comes to light. one last leap. Telling his parents he's Spider-Man is a leap of faith Miles can't bring himself to take. My Life to Liv. Liv survived her encounters with her interdimensional Spider-nemeses, of course. So what's next for her? Interdimensional Phone Pals. Gwen Stacy is many things, but open to friendships isn’t really one of them. Or, Five rules Gwen makes for herself, and how Peter B. makes her question them. Into the Spiderverse/Murder, She Wrote Spider, She Wrote. Miles and May visit her old friend Jessica in Cabot Cove. Mulan (1998) the proper order of things. Great outsider perspective. The Mummy After the Mummy. London was becoming Rick's least favourite place, and not just because of all the rain. Loving Evy was one thing: figuring out whether she loved him back after the Egyptian heat faded away was something else. Where's a good rising of the undead when you need one? Don't worry, Jonathan found one. Lovely fun adventure. Course Correction. Jonathan really is serious about staying away from tombs and mummies this time (except trouble always seems to find him). Good thing Ardeth is there to help him stay on-track. Travelers by Night. Very quickly, Jonathan weighed the odds. On one hand, potential death, whether by armed bandits, a mummy’s curse, or people who looked like bandits and who were very angry about someone unleashing a mummy’s curse. On the other hand, potential riches, home ground, and topics of conversation other than what happened at school fifteen years ago and who got it in the neck where. Murderbot How I Spent My Vacation Between Survey Missions. What happens when ART reunites with Murderbot during another break between research survey missions? Media gets viewed, of course, but there might also be some bad news for more shady corporations. Situation Normal. Hi, I said, along with amusement sigil 159 = wave. It seemed a little inadequate, but what do you say to the ship that radically altered your appearance, helped you figure out your past, and also threatened you with terrifying weapons? Amusement sigils seemed like my best bet. My Fair Lady Here We Are Together. Eliza and Freddy are working together. Henry isn't happy, and makes sure everyone knows it. One Day at a Time what they say about the young. Without the kids around, it feels like everything has changed, except for all the other things about Penelope's life that could change, too. a return to normal. Penelope and Schneider's Friday night plans fall through, so they have a movie night instead. Very sweet. Persuasion. The Pen in Their Hands. Five letters that were written, but were never sent, aboard H.M.S. Laconia. (And one that was.) Smooth Water. “If I wanted easy comfort, I should not have become a captain’s wife.” Wonderful Austen voice. A Step Not Taken. What if that day at Lyme had gone just a little differently? Peter Wimsey The Duke's Parlormaid. A story in correspondence, with detective interruptions. Really captured the feel of the books and all the character voices. Poirot The Mice Will Play. When Poirot returns unexpectedly from a case, he finds out something new about Miss Lemon. RED The One Bathtub. “I did have dinner plans,” Han said, grudgingly, and so Victoria kicked the door in and graciously allowed Han to be the first into the bathroom. She understood the pain of missed reservations. Rivers of London Through All the Years, This Is My Home. At night, when the rest of the staff and most, if not all, of the masters were asleep, Molly would wander the moonlit halls and remember what fresh air felt like on her skin. Of Molly, of Thomas, and of the years they've spent together - and of the Folly, strong and everlasting. Lovely Molly perspective. Peelian Principles. "You're very calm about this," Seawoll said on the fifth day. Nightingale's perspective on Peter's time as a hostage, and REALLY AWESOME. UXB. When one the deadliest weapons of the Blitz threatens London once again, Peter finds himself on the front line. Wonderful casefic, just perfect. Saved! Conversation Starters. Cassandra and Roland have five important conversations. Sense and Sensibility Realization and Renewal. As Marianne recovers, Elinor and Colonel Brandon find themselves drawn to one another. Sense8 Blue and Gold. Wolfgang comes home with Kala and Rajan after Paris. Finding a place with them. Star Trek: Rihannsu Day Comes Up New. "I have done something spectacularly stupid," Arrhae said. This is a wonderful extension and meditation on what might happen past canon. Ever since I first read The Romulan Way as a teen, I've wondered what happened to Arrhae in the end, and the subsequent books were great but didn't answer the ultimate question. This doesn't either, but it suggests something further, which I appreciate. Terminator Movies A Fistful of Sarahs. The sky cracks open, and Sarah watches herself tumble out of a rift in the space time continuum. She’s older than she is now, and she’s got a lot more scars, and she’s carrying the biggest and weirdest looking gun Sarah’s ever seen. with all the hope in my heart (and doubt in my mind). Sarah Connor has done this before. Dani has not. Post-Terminator: Dark Fate. Fate, the Future, and Other Sons of Bitches. Sarah and Dani hit the road. Winnie the Pooh In Which Pooh Hunts for the Meaning of Christmas. Pooh finds a mysterious envelope pinned to the door of his house. In Which Eeyore Loses His Tail Again, Or At Least Plans To. It's a bright, sunny day, and Eeyore has a plan to make it tolerable. Now if only his friends will cooperate.

#fic rec #fanfiction #fanfic #yuletide

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dr-spencer-reids-queen · 5 years ago

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Anywhere You Go

Characters: A. J. Cook x Reader (platonic)

Word Count: 1,486

Warnings: fluff

Summary: A.J. offers you a proposition that you can’t refuse.

Author’s Note: If you have any requests, please send them in! this is unbeta’d and every mistake is all on me.

This is the December 5th fic for my 25 days of RPF Christmas with the prompt: “I don’t want to just see you once a year”

Feedback the glue that holds my writing together

Tags at the bottom

“Two hot chocolates for Y/N,” the barista announces. You get up from your seat and walk over to her to accept the drinks. After giving her a smile, you walk back over to your table and take a seat. Any minute now, your best friend A.J. Cook is going to walk through the double glass doors. It’s been about a year since you last saw her, and you’re so excited to see her now.

Every year, she makes it her priority to visit her family for the holidays. Christmas is the only holiday she won’t miss with them because it’s too big of a holiday to miss. Luckily for you, your family is such great friends with hers, which means you can also see her and spend time with her. When she’s not with family, she’s all around the world filming for either Criminal Minds, a new unnamed film she’s starring in, and doing interviews for those things.

You couldn’t be more proud of her, but you really miss her. Sure, you two talk on the phone at least six times a week, and you Facetime, but it’s not the same as actually being there. You two grew up side by side your entire life, so when her career started to kick off, everything changed. You’re not susceptible to change since it scares the shit out of you, and her moving away almost took the life out of you. You two did everything together and going from that to now, it’s been really hard for you. Of course, you never told her any of this because you didn’t want her to feel guilty for living her life and doing what she loves.

You always knew she would make it in show business because she couldn’t stop performing growing up. When you turned ten, she was the entertainment that provided a one-woman show she created on her own. Everyone absolutely loved her, and even though it took the attention off of you, you were so happy for her.

When you two were sophomores in high school, you came down with the nasty flu that stayed with you for weeks. A.J. didn’t like going to school without you, so she faked an illness just to stay home with you. You thought it was never going to work, but she convinced her parents with her phenomenal acting skills that she was truly sick. It was when your parents caught her bringing food up to you that they called her parents and told them what was going on.

In senior year, she landed the lead in the school’s production of Alice in Wonderland. She stole the show with her big smile, bright blue eyes, and innocent front that she showcased. Everyone loved her, and it was the production that set her career off. An agent was in the audience and watched her perform, giving her his card. The first semester of college without her was hard since she was busy doing auditions and filming commercials to add stuff to her resume.

Every time a new movie or show of hers came out, she’d invite you to the premiere, but she would be so busy with interviewers and her costars, that you kind of hung in the back. You’re so proud of her, but you wish she would take a step back and realize how much this is affecting you. Maybe you can convince her to take some time off if you tell her all the things she’s missed since you last saw her.

The door to the cafe rings and your best friend walks in. She looks around for you, and as soon as you two make eye contact, you’re both squealing and hugging each other tightly.

“I missed you so much!” she grins.

“I miss you more,” you chuckle and offer her the seat across from you. “I got you a hot chocolate.”

“With a dash of mint in there?”

“Do I ever forget?” you smile.

“How have you been? It’s been so long since we’ve seen each other,” she says and takes a sip of her drink.

“Too long, actually. Well, Garrett broke his arm and will be in a cast for the next few months.”

“What did your brother do this time,” she rolls her eyes playfully.

“He jumped off the roof and did a backflip into the pool. He didn't hurt his head or anything like that, just broke his arm. I swear, that boy gets dumber with age,” you laugh.

“At my work’s Halloween party, someone almost caught the snack table on fire. I keep telling them that having the pumpkins with candles inside next to the table is a bad idea, and now hopefully they’ll listen. Everyone started freaking out, and we had two guys dressed up as Spongebob and Patrick running around and freaking everybody out. I swear I don’t think I laughed as much as I did then.

“Oh, and your sister was just about to give birth in the backseat of your mom’s car on the way to the hospital.”

“What? No one told me that,” she says in disappointment.

“Yeah, your nephew wanted to come out right there and then, and we had to try and help her hold him in long enough. He basically popped out with the first push. It was gross, but he’s so cute,” you coo.

“I missed a lot of stuff,” she sighs.

“More things happened, but those are the main ones. What about you? What have you been doing this past year?” you ask. By the look on her face, you can tell she misses home. You can see the jealousy in her eyes that you got to experience all of this while she was away. However, she tries to push that down to tell her stories.

“First, I’m kind of sad that Criminal Minds is ending. I don’t think I’ll find a better cast then them. The last season comes out in January, and I know everyone is going to really like it.”

“Are we finally going to get answers on the relationship between Spencer and JJ? That confession was a big one.”

“It will be answered, yes. But I’m not saying anything else.”

“Fine, what else happened?” you ask, taking a huge sip of your drink.

“The movie I’m in now is just amazing, and the cast and I have this ongoing bet to see how and when our director will break the news to one of the editors. She’s pregnant, and she’s married to the editor guy. Me and a few of the guys think she’s going to wait until he figures it out for himself, but then a few other people think--”

“I don’t want to just see you once a year,” you blurt, effectively cutting her off.

“What?” she asks, her voice soft.

“I’m sorry. I miss you too damn much, Andrea. You only come down for Christmas, but then you leave like we’re nothing to you. I really wanted you there at my work’s Halloween party. I may work from home, but we all like to gather for the important holidays to get together and go over what we’ve been working on. That party was not fun without you. You’re my best friend, and I want to see you more often. Take a break, please, and come home.”

“Y/N, I miss you too. More than you think. You don’t think I want to come home and be with family? I want to so much, but I’m working on a film, and then there are interviews, and I have another project when this movie ends. I really wish I could stay,” she sighs.

“And I wish I could go with you. I don’t like being away from you all year. I want more than a few weeks with you.”

“Then come with me.”

“What?”

“You work from home, so I don’t see why you can’t work from my set. Come with me when Christmas is over. We don’t have to be apart any longer. It can be a whole new chapter for us. You can meet the cast, and I’ll introduce you to Matthew,” she sings at the end. Damn my silly crush on the elusive Dr. Reid.

“Well, if it’s for Matthew, then sure,” you joke, and she gives you a playful glare. “Do you really think this can work?”

“Yeah, when I’m filming, you can do your work, and then afterward, we can hang like we used to. I miss us.”

“I miss us too,” you smile.

“So, what do you say?”

“I’ll go with you,” you grin.

“Yay! I’m so glad! Oh, this is going to be so much fun! You’re going to love New York.”

“We’re going to New York?”

“And many more places. We’re going to have so much fun.”

“Yeah, we will. It’s us against the world.”

“Forever and Always,” she finishes.

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the2020romanceproject · 5 years ago

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Review: The Wedding Date

(Or: Maybe I should only read the first half of romance novels from now on?)

Book two of my year of romance was Jasmine Guillory’s The Wedding Date! I was excited about this one, since I had actually heard of it before I started reading romance, and also it has fake dating which is always gold. And I did enjoy it...up to a point. More on that below. :)

First, a summary: Alexa is chief of staff to the mayor of Berkeley. Drew is a pediatric surgeon in L.A. They get stuck in an elevator together when Drew is in San Francisco for his ex-girlfriend’s wedding to his med school classmate. Drew was supposed to have a date for the wedding, but she cancelled, and on a whim he asks Alexa to go with him instead as his pretend new girlfriend. She says yes, and they have a great time at the wedding and fall in bed afterward and have great sex. Drew secretly changes his flight to leave later in the day on Sunday, and they spend the day together. They’re both hesitant because they know the other person isn’t looking for anything real here—Alexa in particular knows Drew doesn’t do relationships—but they keep reaching out to each other, and Alexa goes down to L.A. to stay with Drew the next weekend. There’s a brief blip where she texts him to ask if he’s sleeping with other people and he makes a joke instead of answering seriously and she cancels their next weekend together; then he runs into her (very conveniently) when he’s back in SF for a conference and they fall into bed again. Then there’s a more serious blip where she meets a bunch of his exes who let it slip that he broke up with each of them around the two-month mark when it seemed to be going really well. Alexa gets upset, refuses to let Drew say anything about his intentions because she doesn’t want to be hurt, and sneaks out of his apartment in the middle of the night to fly home early. Drew realizes how much she means to him and flies up to L.A. to support her at a hearing for the at-risk-youth arts initiative she’s pushing for, and the two of them happily reconcile (and the initiative passes). He shows her the job offer he got from his mentor at a San Francisco hospital, and she tells him yes, she wants him to move here. There’s an epilogue a year later where he takes her back to the elevator where they met and proposes.

I feel like I spent my last review talking entirely about why the book fell apart in the middle for me. This book also fell apart in the middle, but I’m going to start with some things I liked/noted about it, so as to not spend ALL my time complaining about shortcomings. :)

Things I really liked:

Chemistry. Alexa and Drew are both super charming. Their back-and-forth was really enjoyable to read. It was a big part of what got me into the book: I wanted to see these two charming people grow to like each other. All the thing where they’re at the rehearsal dinner and wedding and enjoy touching each other were really nice to read.

Tropes. This one had such good tropes! Stuck in an elevator together! Fake dating! Anything with plausible deniability, where they’re acting like they really like each other but each one thinks it might not denote real interest, is just the most fun. This one gave up the plausible deniability aspect way sooner than I would have expected, but still: great tropes.

Race. Alexa is black and Drew is white. I am also white, so my perspective here is not informed by personal experience, but I really liked how this was handled. Alexa does experience some microaggressions and outright racism—not from Drew—in ways that felt realistic to me. Drew doesn’t try to explain away any of the racism, which made him seem like a good potential partner to her. There was also a thing where he failed to understand a thing in her past that was impacted by race, and when she explained it he listened and accepted his ignorance. She was still concerned that he’d like her less for having made him aware of his privilege, which felt like a very sad and real fear. Overall, it felt like racial dynamics were allowed to come into the text in nuanced and organic ways that kept Alexa from being a token POC. (Jasmine Guillory is a POC herself, so I’m not surprised that this is handled well, and there are probably other things about it that I as a white person didn’t even pick up.)

Body type. Alexa is curvy! She’s embarrassed about it! But Drew loves it! As someone who fills out the top of a cocktail dress pretty well myself, I really appreciated both sides of this: the realistic body issues from someone raised in a society that valorizes thinness, and the way the text kept affirming Drew’s attraction to her. There’s a racial component to this as well—lots of skinny blond girls in this book—but it was something I was able to identify with even from my different societal context.

Things I noted/was surprised by:

How soon they had sex. At some point I’ll stop being surprised by this in romance novels. I’ve read a lot of fake dating stories, and written some, and I would have expected the charade to go on a lot longer before they had actual sex that couldn’t at all be explained away by the fake dating scenario. The purported fakeness of it is the fun part! They both think the other one isn’t interested for real, while their own feelings continue to grow! Why would you cut that part short?? As soon as they kissed and admitted to each other that they wanted it for real, the tension dropped from a ten to about a two. This book got a decent amount of mileage out of that lower level of tension—more on that below—but it’s so surprising to me that it didn’t keep the much more interesting and trope-y tension going longer.

Consent and power dynamics. This book was super good about consent: Drew made sure to check in about what Alexa wanted, and it was played for sexual intensity, where he clearly got a kick out of hearing her say it. But it was very, very one-sided. There was no implication that Alexa needed to check in with Drew on what he wanted. This wasn’t a surprise, exactly, but it did stand out to me, since I don’t read a lot of het (and honestly this is a big part of why—I don’t want to encounter gendered power dynamics in my leisure reading). Consent felt like a thing the woman had to give the man. I’m not saying this is a problem, necessarily; just something I noticed.

Sex scenes. The sex scenes almost faded to black but not quite. Maybe they faded to gray? I felt like I knew pretty much what sex act they were doing and when, but they weren’t described in any real detail. It was an interesting compromise, like the book was trying to give us a clear sense of their sexual relationship without any real titillation. I wonder if this is a genre thing—I’m not sure this book was published strictly as romance—or if it’s just Guillory’s style.

Romcom careers. They’re chief of staff to the mayor of Berkeley and a pediatric surgeon. Those have GOT to be two squares on the romcom career bingo card. I’m teasing a little, but I think this kind of character background serves an important role: we have to know that they’re accomplished, valuable people, so that when they feel rejected or insecure we can revel in it—look, they feel like I once felt! But it’s unjustified and they’ll end up happy!—instead of actually questioning the characters’ worth. Fanfiction usually gets over this hurdle by writing about characters the readers already know and respect and love, or, in the case of RPF, writing about people who are for-real successful and famous. Romance novels have to introduce us to brand-new characters, and one of the easiest ways to make us feel sure that these characters are worthy of our respect and of the other character’s love is to give them prestigious and intellectually or creatively rigorous careers. I’ll be interested to see how many other instances of this I run across.

Two points of view. It strikes again! Do all romance novels include both points of view? I don’t hate it, necessarily—but it does decrease the overall tension. You don’t get caught up in one character’s desires as strongly when you’re seeing both POVs.

Immediate attraction. Another thing I should probably stop being surprised by. Both Alexa and Drew are very physically into each other as soon as they meet; he has trouble not looking at her breasts, and there are so many narrative references to her wanting his touch, wanting to move closer to him, etc. To be fair, I think I’m pretty far toward the “not attracted to complete strangers” side of the spectrum, so I might not be the best judge of this, but it did feel a little over the top. I suspect this was an attempt to make us really want these two to be together. I think it was trying too hard—a more genuine reserve would have been more compelling to me, where they like each other but don’t immediately want to jump each other. Also, they’re going to a wedding together as fake dates! You don’t have to try that hard to make us interested!

Food as comfort. This was such a strong recurring thread in this novel. Alexa has a sweet tooth, and Drew is always getting her doughnuts; they get a lot of very satisfying takeout. It gelled for me with the thing where a lot of the satisfaction in the novel came from the comfort of “oh, this person is touching me; oh, they like me back.” Comfort instead of angst.

Subplots. One of my questions in approaching this genre was whether romance novels needed to be more novel-like than fic—i.e. whether they needed to engage with a plot beyond the romance. This does have a very slight B plot (Alexa’s youth initiative, which is connected to her difficult relationship with her sister) but it’s VERY slight. The book has an even less prominent subplot about one of Drew’s patients who develops cancer. Alexa’s subplot resolves, whereas Drew’s is only backdrop. Drew’s in particular is used the way I’d use a subplot in fic: it’s included to provide an excuse for scenes with or about Alexa, or to affect Drew’s mood in ways that reflect or influence the romance plot. It serves the romance instead of being an independent plot in its own right.

Okay, so those are my observations. Time to dig into the thing where this book lost me in the middle—much like the last book I reviewed, but for entirely different reasons.

I’ve already talked about the drastic drop-off in tension after they slept together. That actually was not what lost me this time. This novel managed to build enough of a rapport between the two characters that I was invested in their relationship becoming real. To be clear, I would have preferred that the fake dating trope go on longer and create opportunities for actual longing. But this novel wasn’t so much about longing; it was about that delightful feeling when you like someone and you reach out tentatively and they meet you in the middle. It was the very, very gentle tension of, “Maybe we could hang out today?” “Sure!” over and over, as a relationship builds. It was fluff-adjacent tension. Super enjoyable, the way a warm bath is enjoyable. I wasn’t dying to get to the end or anything, but it was nice.

I did wonder, about halfway through, how the heck this book could possibly keep going like that. And it turned out it couldn’t. That was when it introduced: the Misunderstanding Plot.

Don’t get me wrong. I love a good misunderstanding plot. But they are hard to do well. They work best when they feel unforced and genuine, and don’t make either of the characters carry the idiot ball. Like, say, if Drew and Alexa hadn’t had enthusiastic sex where they talked about how much they wanted each other, and they were still under the impression that it was a fake relationship, it would be very easy to have the other character accidentally confirm that and drive a wedge between the two of them. Or if one of them was starting to think it WAS real, and then they overheard the other person confessing to someone else that it was totally fake. (Don’t mind me; just thinking about ways I might write it.)

The problem with this one was that they were basically just dating at this point, so in order for drama to arise, the characters had to act badly in ways that felt forced and off-putting. They’d known each other for a week and a half; things had been happy and a little giddy and chill between them so far. Then Alexa texts in the middle of the workday to ask if Drew is sleeping with anyone else. (Because that is the perfect way to initiate an important relationship conversation, obviously.) He makes a joke, because he is clearly also very good at this, and they don’t speak to each other for a week and a half.

Guess which one of them this makes me like more? That’s right! Neither!!

Look. I like characters who are stupid about their own feelings and blind to other people’s. But I also like characters who, when they know about the other person’s feelings, are very, very considerate of them. Drew was not—and Alexa compounded the problem by being confrontational with the question and then abruptly pulling back as soon as she didn’t get the magical easy answer. In short, it made me think that they were bad for each other.

They recover from the texting thing when they just so happen to run into each other (I mean, I can’t throw stones, I’ll buy the coincidence) and are happy to see each other, and apologize, and everything’s fine. But by this point the novel had lost me. I had been enjoying the happy dance of “Does s/he like me? Ooh, s/he does!” but only so long as it lasted. They didn’t have a strong enough core after a week and a half to get through the badness of those texts. They were happy again, but I wasn’t invested. I was mostly reading so I could write this review.

Then, fascinatingly, the book won me back.

It was a very specific passage that did it. On page 190 of the paperback, Alexa talks in the narration about how she wouldn’t admit this to anyone other than herself, but ever since that first weekend with Drew, she’d imagined him in bed with her every night as she fell asleep. And I was sold. I mean, it was still very gentle tension. But! A thing the character wanted that she wasn’t getting! I could be into this again!

And then...well, this is already super long, so I won’t go into all the details of the misunderstanding that ended the book. It had a lot in common with the text message fiasco: Alexa felt insecure, got upset that Drew might not be into her, and refused to engage with him about whether that was true. (Okay, it was actually more egregious than the texts, in that she wouldn’t let him speak.) Her getting upset made sense, but her refusing to let him speak when he was clearly trying to felt SO forced.

The funny thing is, there was actually a seed of potential real conflict there: Drew hadn’t really admitted to himself that he wanted a long-term thing with her. He could have told her that. He could have done anything, really, to indicate that and create a real conflict. (Also tricky to handle without him coming off as not actually interested—but doable, I think.) As it was, he didn’t call her his girlfriend at a party—which, it had been like a month, and they hadn’t discussed it privately, so it’s totally appropriate not to throw the term around in public yet!—and...that’s it. Everything else was just her fears, and the very cowardly way she handled them. I guess that’s relatable? But it felt so engineered. It didn’t so much make me dislike her as make me annoyed with the text for twisting her response so that they couldn’t have the very short conversation that would have cleared everything up.

In fairness to Guillory, a friend who’s read the whole series tells me she does better with misunderstanding plots later. But I’m really, really excited to read a romance plot that doesn’t lose me halfway through.

Next up is Red, White, and Royal Blue. I’ve been told this was basically written for me, so I’m hopeful. Fingers crossed it sticks the landing!

#romance novels #reviews #jasmine guillory #the wedding date #romance meta #fanfiction meta

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