#but he cooks good stuff

[happyanderes]

⚠︎𝙷𝚘𝚖𝚎 𝚜𝚠𝚎𝚎𝚝 𝚑𝚘𝚖𝚎⚠︎

☎︎001-001

Yandere!housekeeper x Artist!reader

⚠︎Warnings: Yandere content, drug usage(for sleep), non-consensual touches, reader is a famous artist

Word count: 1.8k

Still getting the hang of writing shorter stuff👉👈

“I can’t believe you got me a housekeeper!” You yell into the phone at your agent.

“Oh come on! When’s the last time you cleaned your room?” They replied.

“I just removed distractions from my life to keep a clear head! Steve Jobs wears the same-“

“-I’ve heard the same thing enough times already, yes, he removed choices from his life to focus on greater things with that brilliant brain of his, and I’m sure he has a housekeeper to clean out that pigsty of his.”

They say with a sigh, then before you can say anything, they continue.

“I saw how you work before, and you are distracted by your stuff all the time. He’s coming at 3 o’clock.” You check the clock, that bastard, it’s three minutes from now!

You hear the locked door click open.

As you glance at the doorway, you find yourself surprised to see a young male, who looks boyish, as if he’s fresh out of college. His pearly whites are almost glowing as a bright smile can be seen.

Your eyes trail to the bag of cleaning supplies in his bag.

“Great, he’s here……he looks so young, you sure he’s the right guy?” you mutter into the phone.

“Glad that those spare keys work! Now be polite, being a famous artist doesn’t mean you get a pass to be mean to others.” You turn away from the young man and stick your tongue out towards the phone secretly.

“That means no blowing raspberries, see you tomorrow.” And like that, they hung up.

You turn towards the young man, who looks energetic, excited, even, about working here.

“Pleased to meet you! My name’s Kyle!” with a peppy voice, his bright red hair bouncing along with his vivid movements. His pretty green eyes remind you of the shade of sunflower leaves. He reaches a hand out for you to hold.

You did not budge.

All he could do was awkwardly retract his hand.

“I’m looking forward to working in this lovely place!” He still says, with a bit less energy than before, making you almost feel pitying him. Almost.

“My room,” you point at it. His eyes trailed down your arm and to your pointer finger, then to the closed wooden door.

“It’s off limits.” That’s all you said before you sat down in front of your easel and continued working on your piece.

“Make yourself at home.”

You say absentmindedly and insincerely as a yellow stroke of paint spreads on the canvas. You lean back and a frustrated sigh leaves your lips. The phone call gave enough time for your acrylics to dry, thus making it hard to work with to get the result you wanted.

You’ve only laid the base color down, but it’s already clear that you’re drawing a field of sunflowers under a bright blue sky. Fluffy clouds and an ocean of gorgeous yellows simply waiting to be refined and brought to life.

Completely opposite from what you’re feeling.

“Okie dokie!” He said with a little salute, then his eyes scanned the room.

“Well, where should I start?” He asks you.

“Do whatever you want,” you answer. “If you don’t feel like cleaning you can go get a drink to have or something.” You say. You are actually hoping he’d listen and slack off so you’d have a quiet working space, and a reason to fire him, he doesn’t look like someone who’d really do his work anyways.

“Got it!” And then as soon as he said that, he left your house.

You hum now that it’s silent and continue working, thank goodness that went smoothly.

What you didn’t know was that twenty minutes later, you’d have a cup of ice cold coffee pressed to your cheek.

You squeal, as you didn’t expect him to come back, Kyle laughs softly and places the drink in your palms, you wrap your fingers around it out of instinct and look up at him, silently questioning.

“You said to get a drink,” he chuckled as he wiped the sweat on his forehead off with his sleeve, his chest heaving up and down as he puffed out those words. He seems to have run to and from the coffee shop.

“Sorry I was late, had to call your agent to ask what to get.”

You just stare at him, as if he’d grown two heads, then you look back at the coffee, and then to his bare hands.

“Where’s yours?”

Now it’s his turn to be confused, his lips form into a confused little smile.

“Mine……? I thought you wanted the drink.”

All you can do is blink, and look into his eyes, they’re filled with admiration, and an eagerness to please you. Almost like one of your fans you’d meet once in a while. Those fans who want to pry you open and see everything inside. Your frown deepens, but he doesn’t seem to mind as he watches you sip on your drink, with that cheery smile.

You only shrug and ignore him completely as he got to work, touring the house himself because you didn’t bother to.

Through time, you learned to tolerate him, you can’t fire him, not with your agent under his spell and him doing more than he’s paid for, but you begin to spend more time in your own room than outside of it, working nonstop, and by the time the three month monument hits, you finally start to open up just a little bit, mostly because he makes good food.

“Dinner time!” You hear Kyle shout from out of the room, breaking you out of your focus, you did not answer, only washed your brush and headed to your dining room. You always preferred sitting at the bar while you eat your food, the feeling of solidarity is nice. But Kyle tends to take his seat next to you, you don’t know if it’s appropriate, since you’ve never had a housekeeper before, but you’d just listen to him talk and talk and talk as you eat.

You know what your food is going to be, since he came to you this morning about the menu, apparently it’s a rich people thing, to have your personal chef decide the menu depending on your mood. He made you something light, a simple sandwich with freshly made juice on the side as you requested. It’s nutritious, as he says.

You take a bite of the sandwich as you listen to him rambling on about little things he has to say in life, sometimes about his life outside of your house, sometimes about his life inside of your house, but what he says the most is about you, how he’d ask you little questions and tell you some things you might’ve not noticed about yourself.

You usually listen to his ramble absentmindedly, creepy as it is, that’s probably how he became such a good housekeeper anyways. He has the eye of an artist, at least that’s how you write it off as.

The sandwich is on the drier side, so you have to mix it with your juice. It's mixed fruits, tastes like mango and apples, but the color is a bit more on the red side. You wonder what paints to mix to create this lovely shade, almost fitting to draw a sunset.

You feel his gaze on you as the liquid inside your cup decreases, as the drink is finished, you yawn.

Perhaps it’s because your body is getting used to this new balanced and healthy eating habit, you get terribly tired after dinner.

“You can go home for today, I have to—“ you pause for a yawn, “—get some more work done……”

He only chuckles.

“Oh, but you look tired.” He says, holding your arm as you stand up from the chair rather wobbly. You notice a little cut on his wrist, and you mindlessly trace your finger down it. He jolts a bit, but doesn’t pull away.

“This should’ve healed long ago……” you mumble.

“I have a bad habit of picking it.” He laughed it off and places his other palm on your back, it feels unnecessarily intimate, but is what you need when your legs feel so wobbly. What did you do to feel so tired all of a sudden?

“What was in that drink……?” You say, words dragging on.

“Well—“

He wasn’t able to finish, as you fell in his embrace, eyes closed and your breathing even.

“Love, and a special ingredient, might’ve put too much in there this time.” He whispers as he wraps his arms around you and picks you up gently, holding you tightly in his arms and burying his nose in the crook of your neck. He’s in ecstasy as he realized that you are using the shampoo and body wash he got for you. Now the two of you share the same scent.

Slowly, he carries you to your bedroom, this is an emergency, surely it’s good enough of a reason to break your rule?

And he walks into your room with caution, watching his feet as he tries to keep you in a comfortable position in his arms. He loves it when you need him, even though you’re sleeping. As he puts you on your bed, he observes your sleeping face, everything else in the world seemed to have just melted away.

“It’s so worth it, that secret ingredient. I get to see your face so close every night!” He almost squeals, carefully climbing on top of you and brushing his fingers along your jawline. There isn’t any light, only the light from outside of your room, illuminating the rim of the both of you. His breath grows heavy as he feels his cheeks turn hot. Leaning down, Kyle faces you, the distance between is so small to the point he can count your eyelashes, he would if he doesn’t have something else important to do.

“Now you may kiss the bride……” he can hear his own heart pounding in his ears, even if he knows it’s not possible, he imagines you to open your eyes and jump, he’s sure that your budding feelings towards him would perish as soon as you see him straddling you.

Slowly, shakily, he closes his eyes and places a kiss on the lid of your eyes, then on your cheeks, your nose, the corner of your mouth, then finally, your lips. His tongue enters easily, toying with your unresponsive one, the pink muscle almost skillfully maneuvering around in your mouth, something only experience can bring. His grip on your jaw tightens by a fraction as he tugs your jaw down a bit more for better access.

After what felt like forever, he pulls away, desperately gasping for breath. He wishes he doesn’t need to breathe at all, so that he can simply kiss you for the rest of eternity, or at least until you wake up.

He stole a few more kisses, then, he leaves your room, secretly taking note to add less of the special medicine and a bit more of the other special ingredient.

“See you tomorrow.” he says with the biggest smile as he closes the door, leaving you completely in the dark.

[sometimesmaybespoof]

When she Half on my Life till I 2

[pinkd3mon]

Free them

Day 7 of drawing kirby shitpost for every day of October

[souenkun]

Larry's random conversarion lines 🍙

Pokémon Masters EX spoilers ahead!

Random conversation 1:

Ever since I met a certain individual, I now find myself gazing up at the sky every once in a while. There's scenery you'll never even notice if you stick to flat, well-trodden paths. Just something I've observed. I don't dislike the vast, clear sky... But I don't think I can reach it. It's nice to know that there's something like that out there, though.

Random conversation 2:

Pasio seems to have many good restaurants. Ah, I'm not asking for specific recommendations, though... I actually enjoy walking around and looking for a place I might like. That's part of the experience. I seek the exceptional only when it comes to food. Pasio has a variety of cuisines to choose from, so it's hard to stick to just one.

Random conversation 3:

(Player), which do you tend to favor: the exceptional or the average? I was thinking of inviting you to have a meal sometime. Casually figuring out your client's preferences is a special skill that you learn as a salaried employee.

Random conversation 4:

Lunchtime is one of the few things that a salaried employee like me can look forward to at work... We can decide whether to spend that precious time eating something familiar or trying out a new restaurant. It's not just about the meal. The decision-making process leading up to it is also something to look forward to.

Random conversation 5:

People, Pokémon... There's no need to overcomplicate things. Nowadays people only seem to want a shock factor. Something weird, something bizarre. When all's said and done, simplicity is strongest.

Random conversation 6:

You don't necessarily have to follow every instruction from your boss. But I pretend to follow them, at least, so I can avoid hassles later on. That's a technique you can use to get by in the workplace. Keep it in mind.

Random conversation 7:

I'm here in this famous tourist spot, but I can't really spread my wings while my boss has her eye on me. I guess I'll do what I usually do on my lunch break and find a spot to Roost...

[ganondoodle]

the closer we get to arcanes finale the more worried i am bc so often .. if not always .. things i like end in a way that i dislike so much it ruins everything else for me

and im so worried they pull a 'this is a multiverse' thing bc then they can say every skin is somehow canon bc its all different universes you seeeeee and jayce went mad bc he lived through all of them or something, or force it to end in a way that makes the champions end up like they are in game- Vi is a shitty cop, Jinx is just heehoo craycray bc xyz etc

[cryptidram]

dash when he was visiting his parents during christmas probably

[forgettable-au]

How are Wingdings’ cooking skills?

They're okay, he's usually good at following the recipe

But if the instructions aren't specific enough then it will go wrong...

He finds cooking a little stressful, so he would rather not

He doesn't have time for that stuff anyway

[frau-kali]

[slymanner]

Look all I'm saying is if that a shadow game can work THAT well and be so well designed story wise and gameplay wise

HE can work

[caligvlasaqvarivm]

Eridan seems like the type to me to say that video games are stupid and then get horribly hooked on one the second he plays

yeah. and unfortunately he would probably be really good at it too :/

[frobby]

rin 1000000% has a list somewhere of things hes good at that yukio is bad at

[fandomfairyuniverse]

You know if you think about it the time joke spent at jack’s house is probably the closest he’s felt to being part of a family in least 5 years if not longer. Even if it was in a small way and just for a short period of time. Oh look I made myself sad

[ghostorbz]

I was supposed to play games after school but I did this instead. I am oh so very tired

@butter1knife

[twentyfivemiceinatrenchcoat]

i do think that the first time suguru goes on a trip post- arisugu moving in together and i send him a pic of my sloppily made meal + an ”are u proud >:3” text he has to sit down w his head in hands to stay calm

[clownsuu]

I have no clue if tumblr ate the ask or not (if it didn’t, I apologize for the double posting) BUT

BUT

Im glad to see so much art of Robbie getting so many friends who roughhouse with him, especially after the Robbie lore dump (possibly by coincidence? Since it wasn’t here) because he deserves friends who can handle and even match his energy :)))

YEAHHH IM GLAD TOO!! specially for a lonely guy like him,, he’s dumb and sometimes even criminal in what he does, but my golly he’s a really excited and happy guy,,,,,

[lunewolf13]

Steph and Cass decide to use Alfred's kitchen:

Steph: Do you ever just wonder, 'am I good enough?'

Cass: No.

Steph: That's the spirit! Now let's see how well you can cook!

Cass: Badly.

Steph: It's just waffles! How bad could you be?

Twenty minutes later, after turning off the smoke detector and opening the windows:

Steph, cutting into the 'waffle': I mean, a little burnt never hurt anyone.

That was an understatement. Really, it was impressive that she managed to make a charred waffle. How did it even happen?? Steph was right here the entire time!

As she's about to sacrifice herself and take a bite, Cass takes her wrist.

Cass: Don't eat. You'll die.

...Yeah. She probably would.

Steph: Batburger?

Cass nodded: Batburger.

Steph should've believed Tim when he said Cass has a permanent ban from Alfred's kitchen. No one's perfect.