#but he also leaves the stove on regularly

[spritesitrus]

Heyo!

What's a headcanon/story about your Koopalings, that no one has asked the right question yet, for you to tell about?

(Like, you have a headcanon about their favourite foods or something, but no one has asked about that yet)

I totally forgot to share their dynamics like long ago so quick chart I made to quickly summarize the more important dynamics (plus some extra ones)

The last one is a little joke that goes with a short fic I was writing of the Koops worrying about Jr and Larry becoming adults since enough bad things have happened to the rest of them because of lore reasons™ (the point in which this fic takes place in my timeline is when everyone's doin' good tho so nothing to worry about)

Anyways I wanted to share some little tidbits of the fic cuz why not

Also as a treat, I will share some dumb trivia for them (I did already share some of Iggy's stuff before but I'll just leave it here since I just took it from these lol ToT) and I've included Jr as well!

Cooking Skills

Ludwig- Cooking hasn't been his strong suit for a long time and prefers to not “Meddle with those affairs”(his words). 

Lemmy- He's able to cook but usually only cooks stuff he knows and never really ventures out to try new things. But he's always happy to try if it's something everyone agrees on wanting to eat. 

Morton- Used to suck but has become the best chef out of all of them. He enjoys cooking for others and always offers to do it. 

Roy- Can cook basic level things but he's not really good at it. He doesn't like waiting so sometimes it gets burnt. 

Iggy- Absolute dogshit at cooking. Do not let him near a stove unless you want something to blow up. 

Wendy- She's good at cooking but it's not something she likes doing regularly all the time. God forbid having to cook with her other siblings too, it'd just be chaos. 

Larry- Only knows how to use the michael wave.

Jr- He waits to be served.

Singing Voice (formatted this on an understanding that this is them having a karaoke night)

Ludwig- He's good at singing but I think it's one of those voices that are just decent in their own way rather than being outstanding. It's probably one of the few things Ludwig is okay about not being perfect. 

Lemmy- He's pretty tone deaf but he tries. Everyone cheers him on for his enthusiasm. 

Morton- He sings quietly but he's not actually half-bad. It's not something he really likes doing so he just lets anyone else sing if they want the mic. 

Roy- Not that great and he falsettos a lot. He probably steals the mic the most. 

Iggy- He's alright at singing but can’t reach high notes well and is quite flat. 

Wendy- The best singer out of them all. She has a powerful voice and is a showoff about it. 

Larry- His singing is quite nice but prefers rapping more. He's the type of mf who beatboxes at crazy speeds. 

Jr- He's actually pretty good at singing too but it embarrasses him the most since everyone is so enthusiastic for him when he does. 

Dance Skills

Ludwig- Only knows how to waltz because of course he does. Outside of that, he dances exactly like a dad. He makes sure to avoid Bowser during parties so the others can't compare them. 

Lemmy- A total dancing machine. He mostly likes to do break dancing and disco but can quickly pick up on other dances as well. 

Morton- Doesn't seem like someone who dances, but he will get down if the situation calls for it. 

Roy- A great dancer who always likes to show off whenever he's partying. He can breakdance, pop and lock, moonwalk, you name it, he can do it. He's also a really good teacher and teaches a dance class in his spare time. The only time he ever wanted to give up on a student was when he was teaching Iggy. 

Iggy- Can't dance for shit, like he literally has no rhythm. The only move he knows is the floss and it took the gang forever to teach him how in the first place. 

Wendy- A very graceful dancer and knows ballet. Though she's always ready to be on the dance floor too. How could she not when she and Roy are literally besties?

Larry- A pretty good dancer. He can pick up moves easily and knows how to groove. 

Jr- He tries to act too cool and cross his arms all like “Heh, I don't dance” but in reality, it's because he's embarrassed that he's a clumsy dancer. 

[grizzlee30]

Bruce finds out half way through not because Tim did a bad job at forging his fake twins sister’s documents, but because he forgot to make new documents for himself. He says nothing to anyone, and quietly forges the documents himself. Tim does not notice this until years later.

The only acceptable trans Tim headcanon would be Tim introducing himself to the batfam as a boy from the get-go with such confidence that no one questions him. Then, his first solo case as Robin is investigating the disappearance of Jack and Janet Drake's "daughter," so he pretends to have a twin sister by forging a bunch of documents and photoshopping family pictures. He then fabricates evidence of her death, committing multiple crimes in the process, and holds a fake funeral at the end. Because if his previous name is dead to him, he's gonna kill it the Tim Drake way

[himbodruid]

Taking a break from Sylus fics to give yall some Zayne!

Zayne x Reader

Intended for 18+ readers. MINORS DNI.

Desperate -:- clothed sex -:- angst -:- possessive Zayne (kinda) -:- Zayne loses control (but not of his evol)

Fic Master List

Desperation in Yearning

There was a certain excitement that came with danger, an addictive rush of adrenaline. Maybe that was why you kept throwing yourself into missions that could end in your death. Or maybe it was some sort of misguided sense of survivor’s guilt, seeing as you’d been quite literally throwing yourself into your work for the last 14 years. Since the explosion. Since your world came raining down in a rain of ash and embers.

Your bags were almost packed, even though the shuttle wasn’t leaving for another several days. Captain Jenna had given you and the rest of the deployment team a few days off in order to prepare for the arduous journey, but you felt unsettled. You needed to move. To do something other than hurry up and wait.

Cooking was a nice way to distract yourself, even if you weren’t very good at it. What you made was edible at least, if not very creative.

A hurried knock on your door returned you to reality on that first night, and you looked up with brows drawn down. You weren’t expecting any visitors, and the stirfry you’d been disassociating over was almost done (note: probably burnt actually). Shaking your head, you removed the pan from the heat and killed the stove so you wouldn’t start a fire in your distraction.

Zayne was there on the other side of the door. He was out of breath, as if he’d run straight from Akso Hospital. He also looked…angry, and you ushered him inside.

“Doctor Zayne? What’s going on? Is something wrong?”

He took a moment to compose himself. It was almost disturbing to see the usually unflappable Doctor Zayne in such a state, and you feared the worst.

“When were you going to tell me,” he demanded. His usually even voice held the slightest of tremors, and you didn’t understand why. His eyes held an intensity to them that made you look anywhere but his face.

“What do you mean? Tell you about what?” He sat heavily in a stool at your breakfast bar and you put a hand on his shoulder. He stiffened under your touch.

“When were you going to tell me that you’re leaving?”

“Oh. That.” You still didn’t understand why it was such a big deal to him. It was just like any other away mission before. You always texted him when you were heading out and he wished you a safe return. And then when you returned, the two of you would go out to dinner together. You always celebrated your wins with him, mourned the losses with him.

“Were you just going to send me some off-hand text again? Letting me know you’d be leaving and then leave me in radio silence for weeks on end? Leave me wondering if everything was going okay, if you were safe- alive, even?”

He stood and punctuated his words by crowding you against the counter. His hazel eyes held a predatory glint to them, a look you were so unused to in his regularly smooth expression. He wasn’t one to wear his emotions easily, and you always struggled to read him. Even now, when he had you pinned at your counter, you couldn’t figure out what he was so upset over.

“Doctor Zayne, it’s fine. I do stuff like this all the time, it’s part of my job.”

His hand slammed down on the counter, making you jump. “Purposefully throwing yourself in harm’s way is not part of the job, not when you constantly do it to the point of self-destruction!”

You stared up at him, eyes wide in wonder. His face was flush and you thought you could read despair in his expression. This was a man that was always calm, cool, and collected, and yet here he was losing his temper at you.

“I…didn’t think of it that way. I’m sorry,” you say to him, trying to appease him so he would relax. But your words only seemed to fuel his frustration even more.

“That’s the problem. You never seem to think,” he whispered, the tremble in his voice more prominent now.

“Zayne,” you say, dropping his title in favour of your friendship. “What’s all this about? I don’t understand why you’re so upset about this. Please, help me understand.”

He blew out a shaky breath and let his head drop to your shoulder. You froze. It’s not that you didn’t see Zayne as a man, it’s that you always thought he never saw you as a woman. You thought maybe he only ever saw you as a trouble-making younger sibling, seeing as you had been friends with him since childhood. But here he was, face buried in your neck while he struggled to maintain his composure.

“I’m tired of watching the woman I love run head-long into danger,” he said quietly. “And not knowing if you’re safe is a special kind of torture I wouldn’t wish on anyone.”

You felt your heart shudder at his admission. Oh how you’ve been so stupid, so blind to his true feelings. The only credit you could give yourself is that Zayne wasn’t the best at portraying what he felt, and you were even worse at picking up social cues.

Your mind dug through all of your memories with him. How he would always seem to hug you a little longer than necessary when you came home. How he would always use one excuse or another to call and check up on you. How his demeanor went from cold and distant to warm and welcoming as time passed. The clues were there all along, you just never picked up on them. Or you assumed they were just a natural progression of friendship.

“Zayne, I-“ you didn’t know what to say. How to finish that sentence. You felt like you were in shock and you didn’t know what to do. He lifted his head from your shoulder slowly, bringing those damnably beautiful eyes up to bore into your very soul.

“I hate not knowing if you’ll survive the next mission that takes you away from me. I hate not being able to clear my schedule fast enough to go alongside you as a medic. And I hate the very idea of losing you to your own stubbornness.”

With that, he leaned forward and his lips captured yours. It was hesitant at first, testing, but the last remnants of his control snapped when you returned the kiss in equal measure. He coaxed your mouth open with ease and plunged his tongue in to tangle with yours. He poured all his desperation into you in that single point of contact, his hand coming up to grasp the back of your head to hold you in place.

When he finally broke away to let you have some air, his face was flush with all that was left unsaid. His eyes pleaded with you, his breath mingled with yours. He searched you for the same kind of yearning he bore to you. And when your gaze flicked to his mouth and back to his eyes with a soft sigh, he knew he had his answer.

He hauled you up against him, holding you as close as he possibly could as if that act alone could prevent you from leaving him. As if that alone would keep you by his side and out of danger forever. But it was that threat of danger that made desperation all the more prominent, all the more sweeter.

Zayne carried you to your bedroom without hesitation and without trouble, as though you weighed nothing more than the pen he carried in his lab coat every day at work. Your legs wrapped around his waist, arms around his broad shoulders on instinct, hiking up the skirt you wore and exposing yourself to his chill touch. He plopped down on the corner of your mattress with you straddling his lap, not even taking a moment to break the kiss. You rocked your hips against him, lost to his every touch that drove you deeper into a needy mess.

You hated admitting it, but you knew that this is what you’ve been craving for so long. The realization that you were waiting for him to make a move so that your passion wouldn’t scare the normally reserved doctor away. Zayne was letting go of all those reservations and it was the single most attractive thing you ever experienced.

He devoured you. Touched you. The noises he made shot right to your core and your own noises rose to respond to him. The chill of his hands sent shivers dancing through you. You could feel the length of him hardening beneath you, responding resolutely to the grind of your core against him. One of his large hands found your thigh, smoothing along your skin until he was at your hip and his thumb ran along the edge of your underwear. You were subconsciously glad you wore lace, but it didn’t really matter when you were lost to him. And, gods, the cold metal of his watch pressing into your hot skin did something unspeakable to you.

The pad of his thumb pressed against your clit, making lazy circles as his tongue continued to battle with yours. You couldn’t stop the moan you released into his mouth, but the noise only seemed to goad him further. He absorbed the sounds you made and became drunk off you.

And then you were suddenly pinned underneath him. One hand held your wrists above your head while those elegant fingers of the other dipped into your slicked folds. When he found you wet and wanting, he groaned into your neck. He curled those fingers inside you, eliciting a gasp as he put pressure in the perfect place. You bucked your hips against his hand, chasing the release he was so graciously gifting you.

And when you fell over the edge, you breathed his name into the air like a chanting prayer. Your body arched into him involuntarily and your hands grasped at whatever they could while still restrained.

But Zayne wasn’t done with you. He was far from it.

He removed his fingers from you, bringing them up to inspect the result of your climax still slicked between them. And then he looked you in the eye, muttering ‘beautiful’ before he stuck those fingers in his mouth and savored the taste of you with a moan. And something about that damn watch on his wrist while he did it.

And, fuck, he still wasn’t done torturing you.

The buckle of his belt was loosened and his cock freed from his pants with hardly an effort. He did it all with one hand while still pinning your wrists together above your head. You wanted so badly to touch him, but all you could do was wrap your legs around his hips as his narrow hips nestled between your thighs. And then your underwear was brushed aside and his cock slicked against your folds, a gentle, testing nudge at first. Then pushing further at your moaned pleas.

You all but begged him to fuck you roughly like you wanted, and still he took the time to make sure your petite body could accommodate his size without hurting you. And, oh how he filled you. It was more than you could have ever dreamed, and still he remained infuriatingly still inside you while his mouth worked at yours with promises of what was to come.

You flexed your walls on him in silent revenge, and he hissed a moan into your mouth with an involuntary forward jerk of his hips. And that’s all it took for the dam to break on his control.

Before you knew it, he was slamming into you with reckless abandon, so hard you swore you could feel yourself being moved across your bed. His hand finally released yours and all you could do was cling to him while he basically folded you in half, trying to somehow get even deeper than he already was. His grunts, moans, whimpers were diffused by him burying his face in your neck. You chanted his name into the open air, punctuating it by kisses and bites against whatever skin of his neck and chest you could access.

He hooked his arms underneath your knees, giving himself the most access he could while he pistoned in and out of you like a madman. Every thrust slammed against that sweet spot in your core and you came undone around him more times than you could count before he’d even gotten close to his end. Each climax that swept through you was more intense than the last until you were all but screaming his name.

“So damn��good,” he grunted, his pace increasing as his own orgasm finally neared. His sounds were no longer muffled by your neck or mouth. He let his own pleasured cries rise with yours as he continued making a mess of the both of you. His words became incoherent as he lost himself to the rapture.

Zayne slammed so, so impossibly deep into you with a sound that came out like a mix between a shout and a moan. His climax steamrolled through him so thoroughly that all he could do was jerk his hips while trembling in your hold. Your walls quivered around his cock once more, milking him as he flooded you with his cum.

Zayne collapsed atop you, a sweating panting mess. You realized that the both of you were still fully clothed, so caught up in your frenzied coupling that you didn’t even take time to undress. You couldn’t even find it in yourself to be embarrassed at the madness that’d taken over the both of you. Especially when he was still shifting his hips in micro-thrusts that made you realize that he was still hard inside you.

Everything about this encounter sent a thrill through you, and it was something you would never forget. Though, your mind went blank when he suddenly rode you through overstimulation only to jolt you both through an unexpected mutual orgasm. His cock twitched and pulsed inside you as another deluge of cum filled you. And your body was all too eager to take him in. If it weren’t the sensations of his cock inside you, you were almost certain the sounds he was making would have sent you over the edge again. Or even the contrast of his cold hands on your heated skin.

It felt all too soon, but he pulled from you with a long moan. He kissed you and put his forehead against yours in an action so tender that it nearly brought tears to your eyes.

“I’m sorry,” he murmured to you with an embarrassed smile. “That’s not exactly how I imagined that would go.”

“Yeah?” You chuckled. “How was it supposed to go?”

“Slow and sweet. Definitely not horny and wild while clothed,” he grumbled. You couldn't help but look down and grinned when you saw the mess the both of you had made against his nice black trousers.

“Why not show me how it was meant to be?” You ventured. That soft smile of his played across his face as he leaned in and kissed you.

He proceeded to demonstrate what his first idea had been. Soft, slow, and sweet, bringing the both of you to climax over and over. He worshipped your body in a multitude of ways and you were grateful, then, for the days off that Jenna had given you. Because, aside from going home for a change of clothes and picking up some take out, Zayne hardly left your bed until it was time for you to go.

He walked you to the shuttle while trying to stoically hide the devastation in his eyes. Other hunters were already boarding the vehicle, but you turned to face him while your luggage was loaded, drawing him into a tight hug.

“I promise to be more mindful of missions in the future,” you say to him. You lean up in his embrace and kiss him in full view of anyone that cared to look. You knew there would be relentless teasing from Tara, but you didn’t care.

“After all, I have someone at home to look forward to now.”

[manikas-whims]

will the Love and Deepspace men peel an orange for you?"

XAVIER

ABSOLUTELY!

⭐ He knows the disaster that he is when it comes to cooking. But this is infinitely easier cause it doesn't involve stoves or any kinds of electronics to make something for you. So, if you ask him to, he'll nod with a soft smile, peel the orange for you and even feed you.

⭐ It's just that after treating you like..two slices, he'll be handing the plate to you and say something along the lines of, “My turn.” And patiently wait for you to feed him as well. He'll let you have the princess treatment but he'll want the same in return.

⭐ If he's feeling more playful, he might put a slice between his teeth and inch his face close to yours, inviting you to take a bite (like a game of pocky).

ZAYNE

YOU DON'T EVEN NEED TO ASK.

❄️ You're randomly spending time with him on a weekend, and he just brings a peeled orange for you because apparently fruits are good for your health. He'll insist you to eat a full orange regularly.

❄️ And if you don't eat/act like brat and say no, then he'll definitely get down to feeding you himself, all because as your "doctor" and "friend", he cares a great deal about your well-being.

❄️ He'll bring out the playful side of you, making you want to snatch the plate and feed him instead because you also "care about his well-being a lot. The problem is, he'll willingly indulge and take a bite, leaving you a blushing mess.

RAFAYEL

“I’M THE ONE WHO SHOULD BE GETTING FED!”

🌊 You ask him, and he'll tell you how generous he is for always letting you hang around his place however you please. If anything, you're the one who should be peeling oranges for him!

🌊 He's yapping non-stop but he's already peeling an orange. He'll be grumbling about how the peel is getting under his fingernails and destroying his immaculate painter's hands but he'll still be doing it.

🌊 You'll be rolling your eyes at his antics, and shaking your head in exasperation but the moment you pick up a slice, he'll take hold of your wrist, guide it towards his own mouth and eat the slice, all the while winking at you.

» MASTERLIST «

[nanamin-nah-nanamine]

Nanami Kento NSFW alphabet

I hope you guys enjoy this long awaited headcanon! If you enjoy pls leave a like,rb and if you’re feeling extra girly pop maybe a little comment ^_^

A = Aftercare (what they’re like after sex)

Kento is very practical in his aftercare to the point of it being a bit boring and routine, but that's the way he liked it. He wasn’t too fond of surprises in general, but especially not during a time that was meant to be soothing and bring both of you back to a leveled headspace. In other words, he’s basic. Two glasses of water on the nightstand, balms for soothing and dinner laid out on the stove in case you two had jumped the gun and hadn’t gotten to it yet.

B = Body part (their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)

Kento is very proud of his chest and his thighs. In coming back to Jujutsu society and being back on a strict training regiment, he’s happy with the fruits of his labors and he’s even more pleased when you grope around his chest and hum in appreciation. He’s a simple guy and having his lover’s hands all over him is a simple pleasure that he wishes to overindulge in whenever given the chance. If you were to ask him your favorite part about you, he would say everything and kiss your temple. If you were to ask him again and ask him to be brash, he would say with a red blush on his cheeks your ass. He loves how plush it feels, how it molds perfectly against him when the two of you cuddle and the sounds you make when he strikes it.

C = Cum (anything to do with cum, basically)

He’s not the biggest fan of mess so if you’re having protected sex he prefers to just cum inside of a condom for easy disposal. If you two are fucking raw then he’s cumming so deep inside you that if you weren’t on birth control there wouldn’t be a year you weren’t pregnant💀

But Kento is Kento and he’s nothing if not safe so it takes months before he’s fucking you raw and he’s very dilligent about making sure your pill is taken on time and regularly. He does want kids with you but he doesn’t want any surprises.

D = Dirty secret (pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

He likes when you play with his nipples. He’s got a sensitive chest and even though it’s slightly embarrassing and he likes to act unbothered, he’ll let out the cutest little sighs and buck his hips up if you twist the rosy buds between your fingers and stroke him nice and slow. He likes when you take control occasionally, but he would never outright admit it. 

E = Experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they’re doing?)

He’s only had one partner before when he was a lot younger, so most of his experience has been developed through you. He was basically a virgin when you two met, but he’s a diligent learner and we know when Kento is locked in he is LOCKED in.

F = Favorite position (this goes without saying)

He really like missionary 🥺 He wants to be able to see your pretty face when he’s making love to you. In general he prefers to have you on your back, and if he’s feeling rougher than usual he’ll put you in the mating press. It’s a win-win situation for both of you, you get your shit rocked and he gets to blow off steam. He likes the way your eyes roll back when he’s fucking you nice and deep 🥴

G = Goofy (are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous? etc.)

He’ll let a little chuckle slide now and then, but as mentioned prior when he is locked in he’s locked. When he’s in the moment, he wants to remain in the moment with you, like he’s painting every sound, every twitch of your lip and jerk of your hips to memory. He’s just about as aware as any sorcerer that life is fleeting so he wants to remember every moment he can with you.

H = Hair (how well groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes? etc.)

Yes y’all the carpets match the drapes 🙄 i’m just playing, his pubic hair is more of a dirty blonde brunette color than the hair on his head. He likes to keep things neat and tidy so he manscapes every week to make sure things are smelling good and its not too rough, because his pubes are actually quite coarse. He worries about your skin when you’re down there so you don’t get irritated. 🥺

I = Intimacy (how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect)

We all know I am a big fan of tender lover Kento. He’s not a casual lover type of person, so when he finds the one he’s an all in kind of person. He wants to give his body to you, mind and soul, he wants to marry you one day, but due to life being so fleeting it's not something he can promise. So every time he makes love to you, it’s a silent promise he’s making to you, a vow of body and blood. Tied together by your pleasure. Sex isn’t just sex to Kento, it’s love.

J = Jack off (masturbation headcanon)

He is but a man. It's not as often as when he was single, but when he’s pulling over time and his mind wanders to you asleep in your shared bed he gets a little hot and bothered. He’d pull his cock out of his slacks with a hiss and have a napkin ready on standby.

K = Kink (one or more of their kinks)

BDSM. Every aspect of it appeals to Kento. He lives a very high stress life so being able to come home and have a sense of control for once. He’s also not opposed to occasionally giving up control, if you’re into that. It wouldn’t be his first time doing so. He does his research and actually finds the practice to be really stimulating to his mind. He’s more involved in the community than anybody would assume given his looks. He goes to workshops in his own time and comes back looking absolutely pleased with himself as he relays the information he’s learned.

He thinks you look very beautiful tied up and wanting for him. He also can’t help himself but to press on the bruises he’s given you to tease you throughout the day.

L = Location (favorite places to do the do)

Home. 

M = Motivation (what turns them on, gets them going)

Submission. Complete unabashed submission drives him crazy. He finds it cute when you’re bratty but it makes him melt when you’re good. He can’t help but dote on you and give you whatever you want if you behave and ask him nicely. He does think it’s cute when you think having an attitude is going to get you what you want.

N = No (something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)

He doesn’t like pain being inflicted on himself or degradation. Those are the two things that would have him safewording. 

O = Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)

Like most of the JJK men Kento is a munch. This is a show full of munches and he’s got his degree in munchology from the university of headington. He loves to come home from a long day at work and lay between your thighs, lapping at your clit giving you nice slow orgasms.

P = Pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.)

It honestly depends on the situation. He’ll give it to you however you want, unless you were being especially bratty. If so then he’s going to tie you up and give it to you so mind numbingly slow until you’re crying and giving him an acceptable apology.

“I-ah! Kento!”you cry out. His hands grip your hips tightly as he pushes in slowly.

“That’s not a full sentence, my dear”he coos, sliding his hand down to rub his thumb teasingly over your clit.

“Mmm fuck!”

“So close baby, but it's not nice to curse your dom”he chuckles, increasing the speed of his thumb, but stopping anytime he feels you get a little too tight.

“Try again.”

Q = Quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.)

It’s not really his thing 🤷🏾‍♀️ he really enjoys taking his time when it comes to these matters, so quickies don’t necessarily appeal to him. If you push him enough to make him snap tho, let’s just say the bathroom of the fancy restaurant is starting to look acceptable.

R = Risk (are they game to experiment? do they take risks? etc.)

Kento kinda just follows the motto of RACK(risk aware consensual kink) he would argue that every type of sex has some level of risk involved(um actually 🤓☝🏻 headass 😒) but since so much of sex is new to him in this relationship he’s game to try new things.

S = Stamina (how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?)

Kento has a good 2 rounds in him I’m ngl🧍🏾‍♀️ but he lasts an almost abnormally long time during these two rounds. He has an immense amount of self control during sex and will hold back his own orgasm until you’ve cum. You can sit there and ride him to your heart's content and he’s not busting until you’re seeing stars.

T = Toys (do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves?)

He has an extensive amount of toys in his collection and it’s still growing. He thinks that toys enhance play so he’s completely down to use toys in the bedroom. He likes nice, well made things so he’s got a few small businesses that he gives his business to. He’s on a first name basis with some of the shop owners and he tips handsomely so he’s given tons of freebies. 

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)

Nanami Kento is one fucking tease alright. He enjoys teasing you and he’s very eager to use it as punishment because he’s so fucking good at it. It’s mainly because he has unwavering patience and self restraint especially when it comes to making a point. He leans towards edging vs overstimulation when he’s teasing.

V = Volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.)

He’s a sigher and a groaner. He prefers to keep his noises to a minimum so he can hear you, but there’s a really cute thing he does when he gets close in missionary. His cheeks go pink and his ears go red, and he’ll bury his face in the crook of your neck to hide his stuttered moans and grunts. He gets really soft and keening when you rub his back or stroke his hair while he’s thrusting in you. Call him a good boy at the right time and he’s sobbing.

Kento praise kink supremacy.

W = Wild card (a random headcanon for the character)

His scalp is really sensitive so he likes having his hair pulled. It drives him crazy.

X = X-ray (let’s see what’s going on under those clothes)

Kento is a good 6-7 inches, he’s definitely packing. The girth of his cock is average and he’s got a slight curve to him.

Y = Yearning (how high is their sex drive?)

He’s got a pretty routine sex drive if that makes any sense 💀 like he’s pretty predictable so it’s easy to fall into a pattern with him.

Z = Zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)

He doesn’t fall asleep until you’re asleep. It’s always been a thing with him to make sure you’re asleep before closing his eyes. He likes to debrief right after scenes during aftercare so he’s getting you two nice and cozy in the living room with cups of tea and pastries he’s stashed. He’ll hold you close to his chest and praise you tenderly while you guys discuss the scene.

[atinyniki]

atelophobia.

group: stray kids !

pairing: idol!bangchan x f!reader x idol!lee felix

genre: angst, fluff

warnings + additional info: reader is referred to as y/n, proposals, insecurities, crying, mentions of sex but no smut, suggestive jokes, lots of kissing, y/n is neglected

authors note: omggg my first fic for the 'making @miuracha happy' event !!! i really hope you love it <3 this fic really spoke to me because i guess... its just people being people. relationships have problems, but communication is so so important in order to keep it alive ! this has a happy ending, dw... this is also not proofread. english is not my first language, so please excuse any grammatical or spelling errors. happy reading :)

wc: 1771

atelophobia - the fear of imperfection.

“baby? we’re home!”

you quickly check the time from the clock above the stove, cursing yourself for not finishing earlier and rushing to the door to greet them. “hey loves…”, you smile tiredly. they share a look before wrapping you in a hug, dirtying their clothes from the contact with your messy apron.

you relax in their warmth for a bit… its been a long day. “missed you, my baby…”, chan whispers. felix hums in agreement from your side, leaving tender kisses across your cheekbones. they finally pull away from you, and you assess the damage done to their clothes.

you don’t mean to make your frown so noticeable, but it’s inevitable. “what's wrong love?”

before you can answer, you crouch down and use your hands to dust off the rice flour from their clothes, apologizing profusely for ruining them. the truth is, recently, it’s felt like you’ve only made things worse for everyone. it’s thrown you into this bad mental state, thinking that your boyfriends deserve so much better.

“hey, it’s really not a big deal. we’re gonna wash up soon anyways, yeah?”, felix shoots you a tired smile.

you nod, standing back up and smiling sheepishly. “um… dinner will be ready soon. it should be done by the time you’re out.”

the both of them nod, making their way into the bedroom and then the bathroom. you rush back to the kitchen to check on the tteok, but you frown once you realize you must have boiled it for too long. the rice cakes look a little too mushy, but you hope that it’ll taste good in the tteokbokki.

about ten minutes later, you hear the two giggle as they walk into the living room. “gosh, i thought you’d have more stamina baby…”

he rolls his eyes playfully, placing another kiss onto chan’s lips. regularly, you’d be happy about it. it’s nice to have a loving relationship and be able to see their love progress alongside them, but the sight of them now makes your heart clench. 

it’s different now than it was a week ago. you feel undesirable, unwanted. why can’t you ever be intimate with them? why don’t they kiss you like that? the questions run through your mind at a sickening pace, and it takes everything in you not to cry.

chan turns his head to look at you, but you look away before he notices you staring. “gosh what are you making? i’m hungry as hell…”, he giggles.

“i’m sorry… it’s taking longer than i expected”, you mumble out. felix is the first to notice your uneasiness. “no y/n, i think he just meant… because it smells so good, you know? don’t apologize, there’s no need to rush, yeah?”

you nod, smiling at him and turning back to the pot of simmering tteok. only a couple minutes go by and you’ve plated all the food nicely, setting their meals down onto the kitchen table. “food’s ready!”

the boys rush to the table, smiling once they’ve seen the food. it pushes you further to your breaking point, seeing them smile so widely at the food, but never at you. you regularly don’t need constant reassurance, but right now it feels as if everything’s breaking apart in front of you.

to make things worse, they sit opposite to you around the small circular table. your body seems to be betraying you, your bottom lip slightly quivering, and you quickly bite it to hide your pain.

they each take a bite of their food, quickly eating due to their hunger. you smile at their eagerness, finding their puffy cheeks adorable, until you see their faces go red.

“oh my gosh… what did you put in this?”, chan asks incredulously. he obviously doesn’t mean it in a rude way, but it seems that way due to everything else that’s been going on.

“i- im sorry…”, you whisper.

you pour him some more water, and refill felix’s too. “it’s so fucking— augh —spicy!”, felix groans.

“i’m sorry.”, your voice gets even quieter with every apology, the tears brimming in your eyes. “i can’t even eat this…”

“i said i’m sorry!”, you yell.

and you break.

the tears brim over your lash line, now spilling over your cheeks, and the boys finally look up from their plates and at you. the way their cheeks are filled with water makes them look incredibly stupid, and yet it doesn’t make you laugh like it normally does.

instead, you cry even harder, knowing that you’ve put them in pain. you cover your face with your hands, not wanting to show how truly vulnerable you are.

“baby…”, chan gasps out. the two of them stand up, immediately rushing to your side. the burn of their tongue can’t even compare to the pain in their heart at this moment.

“my pretty girl… what’s wrong?”, felix coos at you. you shake your head, “i’m okay, i’m sorry…”

you feel chan’s breath ghost over your neck while he whispers in your ear. “can i touch you?”

you nod, and you’re immediately picked up by chan and set down onto the couch in felix’s lap. “what’s wrong, love? did we do something wrong?”

“i just… i don’t know. i guess the feelings have been there for a while now, but it’s never gotten this bad.”, you sigh out. the boys share concerned looks, only making you want to cry even more.

“i’m fine, really. i don’t need to be babie—“

“tell me what’s wrong, y/n.”

“chan i- it’s not that simple… there’s a lot.”

you hear felix sniffle from above you, and you pry your eyes open to look at him. you feel upset, yes, but nothing would prepare you for this guilt. “how long?”, he rasps out.

“what?”

“how long have you felt like this? you don’t have to keep it from us… you can tell us everything…”

“i just…”, you sigh, covering your face again. chan grabs your wrist loosely, running his lips over your knuckles. “don’t hide from us, baby, please… tell us what’s going on.”, chan begs.

“i just… i don’t feel like your girlfriend anymore… i just feel like a roommate that you occasionally kiss at this point. you and lix have been out so much more than usual and you… you never bring me anywhere. i just want to be loved… i want to cook with you guys… and i want to sit next to you while we eat. i want to be intimate with you like you are with eachother… and i know that sounds crazy… but i just feel so… out of the loop.”

“y/n… that’s not—“

“felix… please… i just- just a little love is all i ask for… hold me, hug me, spend time with me… just don’t make me feel invisible.”

“i… i’m so sorry…”, he whispers. you open your eyes to stare at chan, who’s basically bowing on the floor, looking away from you so that you can’t see the pain in his eyes. 

“there’s no reason to—“, before you can finish, he pulls you up from his lap to wrap you in a hug.

“there's a reason, y/n. you don’t deserve that from anyone… and definitely not from your boyfriends. you mean the world to us, you really do… we were just… dealing with some things.”

“then tell me felix! i don’t mind that you two love eachother of course, i want you to. i want you to be in love with eachother and care for eachother but i just want to be in the picture. so tell me… am i still in the picture?”

“you will always be in the picture, my love…”, you hear chan whisper from beside you.

you turn your head towards him, and you almost jump when you see the dark red velvet box. his head is hung low in shame, and all you can hear from felix and chan are harsh sobs.

he flicks open the box, the three gorgeous trio rings glimmering in the light. “chan i- i—“, felix interrupts you before you can even get another word out.

“we wanted to make it special for you… that’s why we were out so much… so excited and happy all the time. it’s because of you.”

your voice gets caught in your throat, your tears suddenly fading away. the weight on your heart seems to be lifted, and yet it’s like these two are acting like the entire world is falling apart.

but that’s because it is. you’re their entire world, and they’ve hurt you. “we don’t need a special proposal, y/n. we just need you… so what do you say?”

felix pushes you up closer to his back so that you can feel his heartbeat against it. “will you marry us?”

you clamp a hand around your mouth, trying your best to suppress your sobs, but you can’t. you nod frantically, unable to say any words. nothing could have prepared you for this moment.

chan slides the silver band onto your finger, leaning over to kiss away your tears. “oh baby… don’t cry…”

“i- i didn’t mean to ruin it… i’m sorry.”

“you don’t have to apologize, my love. i’m sorry for putting you through so much pain.”

chan finally makes space for himself on the couch, pulling your legs over his lap. he lightly strokes them up and down, felix threads his fingers through your hair. all of a sudden, your stomach starts rumbling, eliciting giggles from the boys.

“you hungry baby? we can go back and eat”, chan smiles.

“i’ll just make something else… it won’t be too long, i—“

“baby, listen. it doesn’t taste bad i swear… it’s just… so spicy.”

he kisses over your eyelids, trying his best to soothe you. “it’s okay…”

“hey… we love you, you know that right?”

“i love you both too…”

you hum in satisfaction at the feeling of their hands on you. even when it’s not in a sexual way, there’s something so grounding about their touch. “eat later… i missed you guys”

“awh baby… you’re so cute. i guess we can wait a bit, yeah?”, felix coos. you lean up to leave a peck in his cheek. a simple gesture, and yet it’s so innocently sweet. 

chan leans over to swipe another tear away from your cheek, and that’s when you know you’re okay. they care about you. you don’t have to be perfect for them to love you. they want you for the person you are and nothing else. 

and you can’t wait to spend the rest of your life with them.

<3

[greensagephase]

🍁A November Morning🍁

So apparently I reached 1k followers sometime this week and I didn't even realize it as it's not something I check regularly but just wanted to say a huge THANK YOU! Here's a short drabble of soft Miguel as a thank you for the amazing support. It truly means a lot to me, THANK YOU!!! Miguel O'Hara x FemaleReader Summary: A slow cold, rainy, and gloomy November morning with Miguel. Word Count: 1,751 Warnings: Just fluff; mention of lovemaking the previous night; soft Miguel (why is he not real?) 🍂Masterlist🍂 

It's a cold, gloomy, and rainy November morning. Miguel lays on your shared bed with his arms wrapped around you as he listens to the pit pat of rain against the windows. He sighs in content, appreciating everything about this moment. It’s the weekend, which means that he finally gets to do this after looking forward to it all week. He can only have these mornings with you on the weekend, with you pressed against him and your body warmth engulfing him in the most wonderful way. If he could, he'd lay there with you all day, burning in your heavenly warmth, listening to your soft breathing. Your head is resting on his bare chest and you have this lovely look on your face that Miguel simply adores, making it impossible for him to leave the bed. He caresses your cheek softly, letting his thumb graze your bottom lip for a few seconds as he admires you in your sleep. 

Yes, he could really do this all day, every day with you without question and how he wishes he could, if only he wasn’t the founder and leader of the Spider Society. With his job, it means that he’s often rushing to HQ to save the multiverse during the week but on these mornings, everything is about you and him. He makes sure of it. Miguel sighs softly again, grazing your skin and feeling grateful for these moments. Miguel stays in bed for another hour, enjoying your warmth before slipping out of bed. He replaces his body with a pillow so you can't fully sense his departure. You mumble something in your sleep and Miguel knows it's about him leaving but you’re still so deeply asleep that you end up hugging the pillow instinctively without another word. Miguel smiles softly and kisses the top of your head before quietly using the bathroom and then leaving the bedroom.

An hour later or so, you stir awake. Your hand moves around the bed, trying to find that specific heat that only Miguel can offer. Your hand finds nothing, making you open your eyes only to find an empty bed. You stay still for a few seconds, hearing the soft drizzle of rain, and smile. 

You get up and make the bed, heading to the bathroom to do your morning routine. You leave the bedroom with the sole purpose of finding Miguel. You stop in your tracks at the sight of the living room. Miguel turned on a few lamps and your twinkling lights, casting soft hues, here and there throughout the space. The fireplace is on and the air is filled with lovely scents thanks to an autumnal lit candle and breakfast being cooked. Then, there's also music; soft, vintage songs that Miguel seems to really enjoy. The living room just looks and feels so cozy, making you wish you could cuddle on a couch with Miguel right now. 

You hear a drawer open and close in the kitchen, snatching your attention back to your mission. You quietly walk into the kitchen, eager to see the sight that waits for you, and you don’t have to wait for long because there he is. Miguel stands in front of the stove with his back to you. He's shirtless but wearing his sweatpants. His soft brown hair is messy from sleeping but also thanks to your fingers after last night’s lovemaking. You see his arm and back muscles flex as he flips food, and you quickly realize he’s making pancakes as the familiar scent fills your nostrils. 

You know he has to know by now that you're there with him. He always knows thanks to his sensitive senses as Spider-Man but he's waiting for you to approach him. You walk over to him, decreasing the distance between your bodies with each step you take until you're behind him. You tentatively wrap your arms around his waist so your movements don't interfere with his cooking and also to avoid any incidents in the kitchen. You lean closer, softly burying your face into his back and inhaling the delightful scent that belongs only to him. You can’t help but get lost in it as your fingers touch his soft, tan skin. You stay like that for what feels like a minute, just enjoying the moment until Miguel turns, wrapping his arms around your waist. 

"My turn," he says as he buries his face in your neck. "Coffee, hermosa?" Miguel mumbles into your neck before he starts leaving small, sweet kisses on your skin, making you feel ticklish. 

You fight the urge to laugh and wrap your arms around Miguel, pulling him closer, if that's even possible. "Yes, please," you whisper. 

You let each other go a few seconds later and Miguel is quick to get you a cup of coffee. He leads you to a chair, silently asking you to take a seat and let him do this, something you've grown used to. He always wants to pamper you on days like these when he's off work, asking Lyla to not disturb him unless it's an emergency. You thank him and smile, earning yourself a smile back from him as he returns to the stove. 

"Breakfast will be ready soon, hermosa. Just enjoy your coffee for now." 

You nod and do just that, as the soft music fills the air. It doesn't take long before Miguel brings you a plate with pancakes and other sides on top of a plate with fruit before he joins you. 

The two of you have a slow and peaceful breakfast, talking about anything and everything on this cozy morning. There are no interruptions from outside or Miguel’s duty as a superhero. It’s just the two of you in your shared apartment, enjoying breakfast and each other’s company. 

Once you're done eating breakfast, Miguel cleans the kitchen with your help, even though he insists on doing it himself. You know he wants to make these days special for you but you still insist, wanting to spend time with him even if it’s just while cleaning. You finally convince him to let you help when you think of something you’re pretty sure he won’t turn down. 

"We'll finish cleaning faster together and you know… I was thinking the living room looks so cozy right now. All I want to do is lay on the couch and read a book. Perhaps you’d like to join me?" you ask, and that's all Miguel needs to hear before he accepts your help. 

You notice he even speeds up, which makes you chuckle to yourself. Shortly after, the kitchen is cleaned in half the time it usually takes and now you're on one of the couches in your living room. Miguel and you are under the same blanket, each reading a book with the sound of music and rain still filling the air. 

You love these mornings. Not only do you get to spend them with Miguel but you also get to see the man you love relax. He gets to read books, a hobby he’s only been able to pick up again since he started dating you. Instead of wearing his suit for hours on end, which sure, it’s holographic but still, Miguel wears comfy clothes like his sweatpants. After spending hours and hours traveling from universe to universe on missions and standing on his platform for who knows how long throughout the week, you get to see him rest from so much stress and physical activity. On these mornings, Miguel happily lies on the couch under a shared blanket with you nearby, if not pressed against him. 

The two of you read silently until Miguel puts his book away quietly. He can’t help but watch you as you read, all snuggled up against the couch, lost in your own little world. He smiles and without a word, pulls you onto his lap like nothing. 

“You could at least let me know,” you playfully say, holding on to your book to avoid losing your place. 

“I’m sorry, hermosa. Couldn’t help myself. You were too far away for my liking,” Miguel whispers, cupping your face with his large hands. 

You drop your book on your lap, forgetting it as soon as Miguel’s hands touch your face. You’ll find the spot you stopped at later, it’s no problem. You smile and move closer to him, something that pleases Miguel because he smiles and leans closer. He presses a kiss to your forehead, so soft you barely feel his lips. 

“Have I ever told you how lucky I am to have you in my life?” he whispers against your skin. “I don’t know what would be of me if it wasn’t for you.”

You sigh softly and bring your hand to his face, caressing it gently. Miguel sighs now, closing his eyes and relishing the feeling of your soft hand on his face. 

“Hermosa… You don’t know how much I love you,” Miguel whispers. “Thank you for being here. For being part of my life. For accepting me - for loving me.” 

You nod and lift your face, making him open his eyes. You hold each other’s gaze and you smile sweetly at him before kissing his lips gently but lovingly. Miguel’s hands continue to cup your face while your own travel to his neck, pulling him closer as you kiss him. Neither of you are sure how long the kiss lasts as you get lost in the moment. For all you know it may have been half an hour of just kissing and embracing each other but neither of you care. You gently pull apart after some time only to catch your breath. You bury your face into Miguel’s neck, snuggling into his body even more just as his arms wrap tightly around you. 

“I love you, Miguel,” you whisper. “So much. Please never forget that.” 

Miguel smiles softly, inhaling your sweet scent. “How could I ever forget, hermosa? I feel your love every day, in so many ways… I love you. So much more,” he whispers back, which just makes you hug him even tighter. 

The two of you remain like that for some time, listening to the gentle rain on your apartment windows and the wonderful music Miguel chose for this lovely morning until he asks you to dance and of course, you accept. The two of you slow dance in your dimly lit living room, embracing each other lovingly on this cold and rainy November morning. 

🍂 🕯🍂 🕯🍂🕯 🍂🕯 🍂 🕯🍂

Translation for italicized word in Spanish: Hermosa - Gorgeous, beautiful _____________

I hope you enjoyed reading this! I can't believe it's already November and Miguel still lives rent free in my head and heart. Never thought it would be this bad tbh but I can't do anything about it anymore (I never tried to do anything about it to begin with really). Thank you for the amazing support on my writing!! It truly means a lot to me as it's something I love doing!! I hope you have a wonderful November! ❤️🍂 - Alondra

[tokyo-terror]

GENERAL RELATIONSHIP HCS P.2 !

characters: los vaqueros + könig & horangi

alejandro vargas:

☆ very passionate about everything he does, which can make him come off as very aggressive. that being said he's a softie !!! 🙏 almost instantly when first talking to you he starts using the car scene voice when talking to you

☆ religiously tries to fold every piece of clothing in the military style, and gets upset when folding new things that won't fold properly. very strict about color mixing, so he just ends up taking any chore that has to do with laundry when he gets back from deployments

☆ takes any chance to talk about how proud he is of los vaqueros, and wants you to meet rudy when the relationship starts getting serious. has rudy drive you places when he cant, you end up paying for gas because you feel bad.

☆ big soccer fan (rudy caused this), piles soccer memorabilia onto shelves and cabinets. spends quite a bit of his time rearranging it with you, asking for opinions on if he should arrange it by years, rarity, etc. gets you jerseys :) (will not be pleased if you don't like the same soccer team as him)

rodolfo parra:

☆ definition of designated driver, nice clean car with constant familiar air fresheners that he routinely changes out. kicks alejandro out of shotgun every time he sees you, has pillows and blankets in the back for everytime you want to take a nap during a long drive

☆ certified wine drinker, has a soft spot for The White Mom (franzia sunset blush ‼️). occasionally allows himself more expensive wine if he's going out with you, will limit and pace himself throughout the night though so you can enjoy yourself

☆ not a spoon user, if he's able to grab it with a tortilla then he's doing it. accidentally burns many of them though because he leaves them on the stove too long while trying to watch you cook, he cannot cook all that well

☆ sprawler 100%, sleeps like a starfish and expects you to also sleep like a starfish or get off the bed (/hj </3). he accidentally kicked you off the bed once and wouldn't stop apologizing until a week later you elbowed him in the face while asleep, you guys keep count of the sleep fights you have (he lets you say you win)

könig:

☆ big boy, big heart 🫶 he's constantly worrying about if he's too much to handle with his anxiety. though he doesn't show it, he finds himself getting unnerved when at home without any distraction from it. ends up picking up many little hobbies with you to keep himself from spiraling

☆ uses his height to put things on the top shelves so you ask for help, denies it vehemently even though he despises certain things only you eat. only to find it on the very top cabinet, laughs when you attempt to get it before asking him

☆ long scalding showers, if his skin isn't bright red by the time he's done then he didn't shower properly (by his standards). runs naturally colder than most so he enjoys the warmth of the shower and the steam afterward. likes having you wash his hair even though it's impractical to bend himself in half for it, the hot water and fingers in his hair is bliss

☆ regularly gets prescribed muscle relaxers when he's on leave because he has muscle spasms, he usually waits till the very last second when the spasms turn from slightly painful to not being able to walk. self-medicates by you massaging the areas until they relax, complains that the medicine doesn't work as well as you do after.

kim "horangi" hong-jin:

☆ old habits die hard. he's the biggest spender out of all the boys, he's always coming home with new stuff outside of the grocery list when he convinces you to let him shop. only difference is that he can pay it now, and he finally has somebody to show the things he buys.

☆ finds anything tiger related very amusing, he ends up drawing little tigers on all loose papers. little comics of tigers with different patterns and masks are very common to find, and he will lightheartedly not be happy if you question who the tigers with little heart tails are supposed to be

☆ bad habit of leaving lights on when he leaves rooms, he always has to double check before you guys go out to see if he turned off all the lights. if he didn't then he always grabs a water bottle for you, if he remembered to turn them off then he walks back to the car patting himself on the back

☆ prefers handholding over kissing in the beginning, as he's scared that his scars will deter you away from him. as time goes on he becomes very affectionate with kissing your head or hands, though he tries to deny ever doing anything

[definitelyunhingedagentphoenix]

hey hye hey im back

(making this my second home)

grabs you by your neck

HAND OVER YOUR HANDLER HEAD CANONS OLEASE

Okay! Okay! I'll give you what you want!

Handler headcanons here we go.

So he is so soft. Like he only likes feel good movies. Romance, Disney movies, and ones with not a lot of conflict. He sees a lot of death on the job and just... Doesn't want to deal with that outside of work hours.

He does have a bit of a skewed sense of justice though. After years of working in the agency, the phrase "an eye for an eye" means something a little different. A little darker. He doesn't flinch at a gun shot, or his agents blowing things up. Enemies are more like a number on a spreadsheet rather than actual human beings.

But by God does this man care for his friends so deeply. When he found out about Roxana working for Zor, he wasn't just betrayed because it's his colleague working for his enemy. It was his family turning their back on him personally.

But he forgives just as easily.

He likes to pull pranks in the office on the good/slow days. He has been asked to stop. That's partly why REALLY cares for Agent Phoenix's antics. HE can't get away with things now that he's one of the big shots in the EOD but Phoenix can. And Phoenix DOES.

He has an immense love of animals and they love him back. They can sense his good vibes and flock to him like he's a Disney princess singing in the woods. He could literally go into the woods and see like 100 animals. He has pet a deer before. He has photo evidence. He loves to bird watch from his office.

Reginald has insanely good luck. There have been times that he disarmed a bomb completely by accident. Sometimes he swears that his good luck transfers to his agents when they're on missions. How else did Agent Phoenix manage to live all those times?

But that doesn't mean that every mission is a success. He's seen a lot over the years and goes to therapy regularly. At least as regularly as the job allows. He's in and out of the country just as often as his agents are so if he can, he'll do online therapy sessions.

He has to keep busy. He's not one to sit around and do nothing. He NEEDS to be doing something. So he has taken up just about every hobby that he can while in the office. Knitting, crochet, writing. He loves to write murder mysteries but everyone tells him it's so obvious who the killer is. He doesn't care. He writes them and leaves them in people's offices for them to read.

Anything he knits is also distributed through the EOD. He's surprisingly good at it, actually. People love getting a pair of mitts from him and scarves are fought over. They're really cute and have really cute designs on them. All of them have the EOD logo on them.

One time he knitted so many things that he decided to donate them and the shelter actually had no room for all of them.

Agent Phoenix does not admit to it ever but every time he makes them something, they keep it forever. If anything gets damaged while on a mission they lose their mind over it.

He wears Crocs unironically.

Can't cook to save his life. Has literally never turned the stove on in his house. It's there for show.

He always wanted kids but was told very young that he was unable to have kids. He thought about adopting but he was always so busy and his work was so dangerous that he never let that thought be anything more than that. A thought. Once he learns that Agent Phoenix has no family, he takes the role of father figure so seriously that he almost starts believing that he is Phoenix's biological father.

That's why it hurts him when he believes Agent Phoenix to actually be dead. He has never hurt more than the brief time after the Juniper incident when he thought Phoenix was actually gone. Nothing in his life had ever hurt that much.

[thedragonsmaug]

More of Smaug’s Batfam Headcanons

-On someone’s birthday in the Manor it is tradition to beat the stuffing out of them with pillows to wake them up. There is no escape. The only person exempt from this is Alfred.

-Driving home an unconscious Batman is one of the first lessons any Robin learns

-Bruce hates bananas with all his heart after an incident with Grodd so naturally his children delight in leaving bananas for him to find in increasingly strange places (he will never understand how his children got a banana INSIDE his tooth brush but by god they did)

-Because of keeping up with kids various interests (so he knows what they’re talking about when they go on a long winded rant about it at the breakfast table) Brucie is one of them most pop culturally aware celebs out there

-He also keeps up with memes, slang, and trends but pretends like he doesn’t cause he likes to watch his kids’ faces when he uses something outdated

-Unlike the rest of the Batfam Dick doesn’t drink coffee because it counteracts his adhd and makes him sleepy

-Bruce and Steph regularly take spa days and get mani-pedis together. Sometimes they take Cass with them too but she only likes the manicure part so she just vibes next to them for the rest

-When Alfred is sick everyone rallies around him. Bruce takes care of the kids and any medicine Alfred needs while Jason cooks and the other kids clean.

-Bruce is fantastic at cooking over an open fire but somehow every attempt to cook at a stove only ends in disaster

-Jason was taught to cook by Alfred and he might actually be better than Alfred by the smallest margin (no one will ever say this out loud)

-Glitter of any kind has been permanently banned from the Manor since Dick was a child. When questioned neither he nor Bruce will say what he did, Alfred only sighs and looks to ceiling.

-The list of things not permitted on the Manor grounds is hung on the fridge and only Alfred is allowed to write on it

-They have a huge whiteboard family calendar in the kitchen to help keep track of everyone’s schedule. Everyone has their own specific color of marker. Colors are chosen by each person upon entering the family. Colors cannot be changed as it would confuse Bruce, which is mostly who the board is for

-There is always some of his kids’ stuff in Bruce’s room because they all prance through it as easily as their own rooms. He’ll never tell them to stop because it warms his heart that they see him as safe enough to do so

[aggro-my-beloved]

HAI RACH<333 CONGRATS ON THE 50 EEEK YOU DESERVE IT!!

🪻 + 📔 guy? :3

HI HI :D thank you so much ajax you’re so kind! you’re profile pic and banner is quite the enigma but I think I’ve figured you out. also there’s no letter for guy for me to write about so I just chose the letter u :) hope you like it!

I think you still watch the same cartoons you grew up watching regularly for nostalgia or out of boredom, I predict you’ll be doing the same ten years from now. I think you may also be lactose intolerant, but will throw hands for a grilled cheese fresh off the stove :)

U = Ugly (What would be some bad habits of theirs?)

U → I think guy is the WORST when it comes to forgetting where he left off on doing something. He’ll set a pile of clothes down on a chair to fold, then get distracted from a phone call from Honey, then get hungry and dig around for something to eat, THEN go to find something to watch while he eats—

long story short, the laundry ain’t gettin folded for at least three to four business days. he’s no better with leaving dirty dishes in his room. It isn’t until he’s lounging on the couch watching tv and hears Honey’s cry from the kitchen:

“Guy, where are all the cups?”

and he’ll emerge from the bedroom minutes later balancing eight cups in his hand to be washed with a sheepish smile.

join the sleepover!

[justforbooks]

Unleashed by Boris Johnson

All the fancy verbiage in the world cannot disguise the emptiness at the heart of this self-serving, solipsistic book

Written once their authors have lost power, most prime ministerial memoirs try at some level to be reflective. David Cameron’s begins by confessing that he still has daily anxieties about having called the Brexit referendum. John Major’s starts even more disarmingly, by wondering why he went into politics at all.

But Boris Johnson does not do reflective. He never has and he never will. And nor does his new memoir, with its unnerving title, Unleashed. It covers his time as London mayor, Brexit campaigner, foreign secretary and prime minister. But if it is heart-searching and confessions you seek from the pen of Britain’s most iconoclastic prime minister, you can stop now.

This is not “the political memoir of the century” as the Daily Mail has been billing it for the past week. Or, if it is, an unrewarding 76 years lie ahead for the publishing industry. Take this passage from the section describing how Johnson felt in April 2020 when he had to be transferred from Downing Street to St Thomas’ hospital suffering from Covid:

It wasn’t just the physical distress; it was the guilt, the political embarrassment of it all. I needed to be bee-oing-oing back on my feet like an india rubber ball. I needed to be out there, leading the country from the front, sorting the PPE, fixing the care homes, driving the quest for a cure.

There’s a lot worth parsing there. And plenty that is characteristic of Johnson’s writing more generally. There’s the rubber ball image and the exuberant vocabulary. But then there’s also the sheer dishonesty and the lies. In reality, Johnson was a chronically indecisive prime minister, emphatically not one who led from the front. The PPE wasn’t being sorted at all, either, nor the care homes fixed. His solipsistic admission that he thought going into hospital was an embarrassing look for a leader shows where his instinctive priorities lay.

Then there are the political omissions. Johnson records Prof Chris Whitty, the chief medical officer for England, warning – rightly – at the outset of the pandemic that the public would expect the government to act, to make rules and to enforce them. Yet listen to the Covid inquiry, and the evidence of what things were really like at the heart of Johnson’s government in 2020 is jaw-dropping. “I’ve never seen a bunch of people less well equipped to run a country,” said the cabinet secretary, Simon Case, in a WhatsApp message.

Johnson’s book gives his version of the big episodes. But it dodges the larger issues they raise. The description of what he calls “the whole Partygate hoo-ha” is typical. It is full of angry self-righteousness. But his conclusion that he should not have apologised so much over Partygate is strikingly tin-eared. Though Johnson likes to parade the outward signs of his intellect, there is not a philosophical sentence in the entire book.

Yes, he often dresses up his memoir in amusingly image-rich and alliterative language. Donald Trump is “like an orange-hued dirigible exuberantly buoyed aloft by the inexhaustible Primus stove of his own ego”, for example. Kate Bingham did Covid vaccine deals “like a slightly tipsy billionaire at the Grand National”. Oliver Letwin is “the Professor Branestawm of British politics”.

And, yes, he regularly uses a cascade of words when a single one would do. “I wanted to create ladders, springboards, trampolines, catapults – anything to help kids with energy and talent,” he writes on his levelling up policy.

The freewheeling nature of the memoir is entertaining but becomes irritating for its lack of structure. You will search long and hard to find any other political memoirist who could reflect, after Cameron threatens to “fuck you up for ever” if Johnson opts to back leave in the Brexit campaign: “Did I want to be fucked up? For ever? By a prime minister equipped with all the fucking-up tools available to a modern government, and thousands of fucker-uppers just waiting to do his bidding?”

It is important to remember, though, that this has always been Johnson’s way. He uses his wit, appearance and persona to deflect from serious matters and to advance his own cause. His language is a form of collusion with his audience to stand apart from the tough business of governing. As Ed Docx observed in 2021 in these pages, Johnson has perfected the role of the clown king, whose speech is “not – in truth – eloquent, but rather the caricature of eloquence”. It is the same with this memoir.

That is not to deny that some of his anecdotes are striking. Johnson really does seem to have seriously contemplated a ludicrous armed raid on the Netherlands in order to bring millions of AstraZeneca vaccine doses to Britain. He did almost drown on holiday in Scotland in summer 2020 because he was determined to sit out at sea in an inflatable kayak to avoid the Highland midges. And he comes super-close to implying that Benjamin Netanyahu personally planted a listening device in his private departmental bathroom when Johnson was foreign secretary.

Just occasionally, there is an almost casually delivered shaft of self-knowledge. “I am afraid, looking back, that I allowed the wish to be the father to the thought,” he writes. He is talking about Northern Ireland policy at this point, but the insight applies to much else in Johnson’s career, including Brexit, levelling up and his ability to govern. It probably describes his chances of a return to power too.

Perhaps this overhyped book is the only memoir of which Johnson is capable. He is not going to change. Anyone wanting more about his time at the top will gain greater insight from a few pages of Anthony Seldon and Raymond Newell’s Johnson at 10 than they will from Unleashed’s more than 700 pages. Unleashed to do what? We never learn – and even he may not really know either.

Daily inspiration. Discover more photos at Just for Books…?

[your-interpol-agent]

Do you think you could find anything on how Rasputin‘s children died? He had seven, three of whom (Dmitry, Maria, Varvara) survived to adulthood. They have causes of death listed, but their siblings who presumably died in childhood (Mikhail, Georgiy, Anna, Praskovya) do not.

What we DO know:

Rasputin got married with a woman named Praskovya Fyodorovna and had seven children.

Mikhail Rasputin, born in 1889, who died the same year.

Anna Rasputina, commonly misconceived as Georgiy's twin sister, was born on January 29th, 1892, died May 3rd, 1896. The fact there's a persistent myth about Anna being Georgiy's twin sister could mean Georgiy did have a twin named Anna too (some families re-use for latter children the names they gave to still born babies) but it's a bit unlikely as Anna died after Georgiy and his elusive twin's births.

Georgiy Rasputin, born 25th of May 1894, according to some sources, on the 1st of May according to others. However, there's a discrepancy of around three weeks between the orthodox and roman calendars, and the roman calendar only started being used in Russia in 1918, which means both dates might be true. He died on september 13th of the same year at three-four months old.

Dmitry Rasputin, the boy who lived! He was born in 1895 and lived until the 1930's, when he died of dysentry in a labor camp up north, most probably in the Gulag. He had children but they died in the same camp, as well as his wife.

In 1896 was born an unnamed baby who didn't survive more than 24h.

On March 27th, 1898 was born Matrena Rasputina, who later chose the new name "Marija" (Maria) as it was more aristocratic. She died in 1977, on September 27 after making a career as a wild beasts tamer in a travelling circus then becoming a riveter on a defense shipyard during WW2. She had children herself but I won't get into details since it's not the point of this ask.

Finally, Varvara was born in 1900 and died of typhus in 1925 without children.

Now, we don't know how Mikhail, Anna, Georgiy or the unnamed baby died, but we do know the dates so let's extrapolate.

1889, 1894, 1896 (x2).

in 1891, there was a pretty bad famine in Russia, and 1892 even saw people using unsafe provisions for their stoves, which led to cataract in old and very young people.

In winter, because of poor health-related knowledge, it's not rare people died of pneumonia that had become too bad to cure, or from tape- and round-worms because of unsafe water drunk. There are ritual binge-drinking of kids as young as 9-yo. Babies regularly died of infections from not being changed after soiling themselves. A russian researcher (Semyonova) wrote that summer was the worst time for that as very young children were often left unnattended while their parents were working on the fields, most often from diarrhea after eating something bad.

Now though I doubt Mikhail died of the famine as he was born before it happened. Granted, famines don't always start at the exact point they are recorded to have started, but he died in the same year he was born. And the others were born after the famine stopped.

As for all the other poor health issues, Giorgiy might have died from diarrhea after eating dirt or weeds when left unnattended in the summer: he died in september, which is the end of the crops. Although I can't guarantee Mikhail's date of death, it's plausible it's the same.

This leaves us with the unnamed baby and Anna.

Now the same researcher claims infanticide, mainly of unwanted/illegitimate children, were common. But while Rasputin's wife might have killed that young child, it is noted that most infanticide, accidental or not (a parent rolls over in bed and smothers the child for example) happen in younger years, and she had already had multiple other children.

And also, as any post-natal nurse will tell you, if a child dies in the 24h following the birth, chances are they were just too weak to survive. Nowadays, there's post-natal care to help the runts survive but at the time, in rural Russia? None.

The four years old is the most interesting. Semyonova relates at lengths not only infanticides but also child beatings. However, Martena/Maria described her father in her Memoirs as a simple, loving man and father. Yes, she was born after her big sister's death, and yes, she was born and raised at a time where her father's fortunes had gotten better. But this still throws a doubt on whether or not Rasputin would have beaten his daughter to death. I'll choose to believe he didn't. Then, if she had died a particularly brutal death (trampled by a horse or killed in an alleyway for example) we would probably have records of it, if only because there was a wide campaign of defamation against her father at some point, but while they accused him of stealing horses and killing someone in a fight (which no records of were found in his hometown), they never accused him of infanticide, which probably means not only that she didn't get beaten up to death but also that her death wasn't suspicious at all.

The diarrhea thing is plausible: she died in may, which saw peaks in such deaths. However, she was already four years old: not to say she should have survived it, but that if she hadn't died of it earlier, there was no reason she would have died of it later. I would go with pneumonia, but it's mainly during winter that those epidemics happen. HOWEVER the late 1890's were part of the mini-ice-age which saw winters and all-year-round get considerably colder, which could mean extended winter until may. Also, it's Russia, which isn't exactly known as a tropical destination. So she probably died of some illness or food poisonning, either because of the cold or the hunger. Of course if it's for fictional purposes you could also make her drown, for symbolism, as Rasputin's older brother Andrei died drowning himself.

Now though do take into account that this is all hypothesis. Interpol was only created in 1923 and there are not secret records I can browse on the Rasputin children who died young (on the others though...)

[srhhrtmn21222]

Step Eight - Making Our List

List the people I've harmed and the specific ways I harmed each one.

(Names changed for confidentiality)

*Mom & Dad - I regularly lied about where I was and who I was with. I also borrowed money under false pretenses. When offered help, I denied that I needed any.

*My sister - I also lied about who I was with, where I was, and what the money I was borrowing was for.

*My husband - I brought dope into his house. Although he said he didn't mind, I shouldn't have brought it around. He also let me borrow money for it during the early stages of our relationship. He also was around while I was getting sober, dealing with the emotional backlash that shouldn't have been taken out on him.

*My daughter - Although she will (hopefully) never experience that part of me, there's other things she will endure as being a daughter of a former addict. Things such as an over-protective mother, questioning her friends' motives, irritability during my cravings, and so much more than I can currently think of.

*Cici - I broke her trust by using dope while taking care of her child. Although she knew about my using, she did not approve of my using while her daughter was in my care. I may not have used with B in the room, but I also wasn't sober when I was being her provider.

*Jagerbomb - While we were together I regularly lied about who I was with and what I was doing when I would be late for our plans. I also would spontaneously cancel plans with her to see a guy I was messing around with (that she knew about).

*Robert - When we were together, I cheated on him (with his best friend) after telling him I would wait for him to get out of jail. I also lied about what I was doing and who I was with during this time. During the short time that we were sober together, I constantly would bring up wanting to use and asking if we could.

*Daniel - I should have ended my relationship (earlier) with Robert. I was afraid of how Robert would react. Because of this, I inadvertently got Daniel hurt. I believed a lie and he got beaten up when we were going to give Robert a ride. He also asked me many times if we could get sober. He mentioned a few times that he would only use because he knew I wanted to.

*My granny - I would cause her to worry about me when I would stay out late at night (or even the few times I stayed out all night, and the one time I was gone for more than 24 hours). She would stay up late, waiting for me to come home. When she went to bed, she'd leave the light on and door unlocked for me (until I told her to start locking the doors and I'd use my key). She would even make sure I had leftovers to eat in the stove.

*Church & Extended family - I betrayed everyone's trust that was near to me. For the longest, I couldn't do anything without being high. So many of them raised me to make better choices. Some even begged me to. When confronted, I either denied the truth, or even played dumb about it.

[stawbeemilk]

⤷ relationship headcanons – hq

✩ characters: kenma, osamu, suna

✩ warnings: f!reader, mentions of periods

✩ a/n: hii i'm back ◡̈ this was so fun to write hehe

⭑ kenma

⤷ i feel like it took kenma a very long time to actually tell you that he liked you— he didn't plan on telling you at all at first, but it was thanks to kuroo’s persuasion that he finally decided to ask you out

⤷ he was very nervous to tell you, so he chose not to make a huge deal out of it and just casually mentioned it when the two of you were hanging out together

⤷ his confession definitely caught you off guard ahaha

⤷ kenma is actually quite affectionate when the two of you are alone together, he likes to randomly hug you from behind and lets you sit on his lap while he games

⤷ offers you his hoodies when you're cold because he likes seeing you in his clothes

⤷ he loves when you play with or style his hair, he never admits it out loud but if you pay close attention you'll notice the way his eyes flutter shut as he leans into your touch

⤷ sometimes he'll deliberately neglect brushing his hair so that you do it for him </3

⤷ kenma can't cook to save his life, so he really appreciates when you bring him snacks while he's streaming— his fans absolutely love you and always flood the chat with comments about how pretty you are whenever you make an appearance

⤷ you once begged him to take you on a cat café date and he reluctantly agreed, however by the end of it he was far more attached to the cats than you were but refused to admit it

⤷ the two of you regularly have mario kart tournaments on his switch, and a lot of the time he lets you win because he thinks you're adorable when you start bragging and making fun of him

⤷ plays minecraft with you and puts his bed next to yours unironically, you have so many in-game cats together and they all have names

⤷ i love him so much aaah <3

⭑ osamu

⤷ osamu is definitely the type of boyfriend who sends you texts throughout the day asking if you've eaten

⤷ he always encourages you to eat a proper meal and will cook your favourite food for you, even when you say you're not that hungry— he likes taking care of you and making sure you're well fed

⤷ you'll come into the kitchen every morning and he'll be making you breakfast over the stove in nothing but a pair of sweatpants

⤷ while osamu loves making your favourite meals, nothing makes him happier than seeing you cook for him— even if it's not perfect, he still appreciates anything you make for him because he knows how much effort went into it

⤷ he isn't the biggest fan of pda, but he does like holding your hand because he wants everyone to know that you're his

⤷ osamu is so attentive when you're on your period, you won't have to lift a finger— he always goes to the convenience store for you when you're out of pads or tampons, reminds you to take your painkillers, and will make you herbal tea to help with your cramps

⤷ he also offers to massage any sore areas if you're in a lot of pain, he likes looking after you when he knows you're not feeling your best <3

⤷ osamu loves to take you on cute little picnic dates in the summer, he thinks you look so pretty in your flowy sundress and can’t take his eyes off you </3

⤷ kisses your forehead every morning before he leaves for work

⤷ it always makes his day when you surprise him by showing up unannounced at onigiri miya, as soon as he sees you walk in his eyes will light up and he'll be unable to wipe the smile off his face for the rest of the day

⤷ i want him so bad it's honestly not ok

⭑ suna

⤷ i just know that suna has several albums on his phone dedicated to photos of you

⤷ there are so many of you sleeping, candid shots of you smiling, as well as a bunch of mirror selfies he's taken of the two of you

⤷ he definitely has an embarrassing photo of you as his wallpaper

⤷ calls you “pretty girl” or “princess”

⤷ suna loves napping with you, cuddling on a lazy sunday afternoon and just falling asleep wrapped in each other’s arms is his favourite way to spend the day

⤷ tells you he loves you and softly kisses your face when he thinks you're asleep— you’ve caught him once or twice but never said anything because you were afraid he'd stop if he found out you knew </3

⤷ randomly sends you playlists he's made for you, most of them are full of love songs

⤷ lets you paint his nails because he thinks you look cute when you're concentrating, his favourite colours are dark red and black

⤷ sprays cologne on his hoodies before he gives them to you

⤷ suna loves late night calls when the two of you are apart, a lot of the time he can't sleep without you and just wants to hear your voice <3

⤷ probably asks to get matching piercings or tattoos with you

⤷ likes to keep spare hair ties on his wrist for you, providing your hair is long enough to tie back

⤷ he gets secretly jealous whenever he sees someone staring at you in public, he’ll instinctively wrap his arm around you and glare at them

⤷ if you get hungry during the night he will happily drive you to mcdonald's at 3am

⤷ suna remembers a lot of small details about you that you randomly mention, things that most people would overlook or forget— he has a hard time being open about his feelings sometimes so it's one of the ways he shows you he cares

⤷ literally such a good bf ugh

⤷ please do not repost my works on any other sites!

[candiedmemories]

I wish I had learned more simple recipes as a child/teen. My dad only fed us spaghetti, frozen (baked in oven) chicken nuggets and fries, or hamburger helper on the nights he decided to make dinner (other nights were fast food or "You're on your own" (aka snacks or nothing). Sometimes (once or twice a month) we'd have something special like burgers or chicken/turkey/pork baked in the oven, but it was rare.

I just made egg drop soup for the first time and it was so easy?? The longest step was boiling the water to dissolve the chicken bouillon cube! It tastes so fucking good and took me probably 5, 7 minutes max.

I'm regularly so overwhelmed by the thought of cooking that I rely mainly on boxed mac n cheese, ramen, microwave meals, and fast food. I recently realized it's partially because I get quickly fatigued standing at the stove/moving in the kitchen, and so I've started "meal prepping" shit tons of soups and meals. I also am sometimes so mentally drained that I don't have the ability to make myself begin cooking.

Now, I'll bake a batch of chocolate chocolate-chip muffins (doing the mixing while sitting down is a FUCKING GAME CHANGER haha), freeze them, and then have breakfast a 30 second microwave away every morning for 10-12 days.

For my six meal-prepped chicken soups: I boiled chicken tenderloins and bought pre-chopped onions and bell peppers, leaving the only actual prep to chopping the celery and shredding the chicken. I tossed all of that shit in portioned bags and dumped in my seasonings, so now any time I want chicken soup I just have to boil water, add chicken bouillon, lemon juice, and olive oil, dump in the prepped bag, and I have soup in like 5 to 10 minutes (with little to no standing).

I made a huge batch of rice and gravy in January which ended up making probably 10-12 individual portions that I froze and have been eating every once in a while since. This takes the most energy (a lot of initial prep that I now could probably make more accessible, and when I reheat it I have to cook rice alongside it) but is still something.

All of these things could have (and should have) been taught to me before I was sent off on my own. Forever I've thought cooking is this draining task (often if I manage to cook something from scratch I'll be exceedingly tired for the rest of the day) and tbh it still often feels draining, but knowing now that I can literally make my own frozen meals I feel like life is getting a tiny bit easier.