#but he WOULD fuck you just like the people in the said video tho (but most likely more rougher and harder just because of your sly comment)

[nobodybetterlookatme]

Wait I think I missed something in this incredible saga. Are you going on a date with the coworker??? I swear the last thing I saw was “no I would never” lmaoooo. If so, I (like the rest of snzblr) are anxious for updates about your love life. You’re one of the top snzblr couples now, enjoy 🤙

I did say I would never and I was a fucking liar apparently 😔 it's not technically a date tho bc I never told him it was bc I need to be so casual and mysterious ahdkaksk but it's a date To Me lmao. It's tomorrow tho bc we're still at work rn and it doesn't look like we're leaving anytime soon so at least I have that to look forward to I guess lmao

[infizero]

every time i so much as think about that scene where light looks at porn magazines while scowling i go into hysterics its genuinely the funniest thing i've ever seen

[mrsoharaa]

pfft! ok hear me out on this silly spicy thought, ok?!

so like-- you send either Peter or Miguel a certain porn video you thought was kinda hot and text them saying "Here, take some tips, it might help you out". 😭💀💀

[itoshiexx]

when you call them "husband" - part 2

how the blue lock boyfriends react when you call them "husband" - part 2

pairings: itoshi rin, michael kaiser, mikage reo x fem!reader (no descriptions tho, just the words "wife" on rin's part) (separate) | warnings: established relationship, fluff, lovesick boys

notes: I'M ALIVE! i cant believe how long it's been since i had time/energy/creativity to write something, ohmy goddddddd. i'm so sorry for all the time it took to post this, but i wanna ty all so much for all the love on part 1 and all the requests for part 2! hopefully this will meet your expectations ♥ as always, i went a lil' overboard with rin's part. enjoy!

part 1 / masterlist

ITOSHI RIN

rin was not a fan of social media. it was clear with the way his instagram only had 8 pictures despite being years since his career started, and even more so by the fact he had no other social media besides that. if he wasn’t so famous, people would say itoshi rin was a ghost or some artificial intelligence invention. 

it was one of the reasons people were very shocked when he started dating you, an influencer with millions of followers on every platform. rin was a private person, and you… well, you shared your life on the internet for everyone to see. to say you were polar opposites was an understatement.

however, you never forced your boyfriend to appear in any of your socials, only recording things for your own fun and memories and posting only what he allowed. rin was glad for that. he didn’t mind doing dumb things with you to see you smile, as long as the rest of the world couldn’t see how whipped he was for you.

also, you were kind of glad the professional athlete was so unaware of social media, because it meant you could do a lot of tiktok trends without the risk of him already knowing what was coming — which made everything more satisfying. 

and the trend you chose that day was especially good.

“hey everyone, it’s y/n here!” you chirped, waving your hands in front of your phone. however, you were actually recording rin, who was at the other side waiting for your sign to appear on the screen.

you continued speaking. “today i have a very special guest, who i’m sure you’re all very familiar with.” you gave the camera a little cheeky wink, and your boyfriend rolled his eyes with all your theatrics. “please welcome itoshi rin, my handsome husband!”

rin gave a step forward to start his way to you, but suddenly, his whole body froze, brows furrowing in what you could only call utmost confusion. silence took over the room for what felt like an eternity, and you had to suppress your laugh seeing the imaginary ‘loading’ wheel on his head.

rin.exe stopped working.

“baby?” you decided to intervene, honestly a little scared of how immobile rin was.

“you— i’m— did you just— did we—”

you could no longer hold your laughter, and rin’s favorite melody echoing through the walls of your shared apartment was probably what snapped him out of his trance. he immediately scowled and crossed his arms, cheeks burning red from his pathetic stutter.

“i am never doing these dumb videos with you again.”

“no, no, i’m sorry!” your giggles kept going, and you approached your pouty boyfriend, squishing his cheeks between your hands. the smooch you gave him was almost enough to make him melt. almost. rin still had some self respect.

he also didn’t want to admit how abnormally fast his stone heart was beating with the mere thought of being referred to as your husband — and, even better, referring to you as his wife. 

fuck. that certainly did make him feel lots of things. those stupid butterflies that were born the minute you met were roaming freely in his stomach, soaring with all the love he had harbored just for you. 

“i’m sorry, baby,” you said again, smiling like you swallowed the sun and all things good in this world. you might as well have. how else could rin explain the way you were his everything? “it was a prank i saw on tiktok.”

he arched his eyebrow, arms uncrossing to put his hands on your waist. “oh? so you don’t want me to be your husband?”

the itoshi was satisfied to see you flushing this time. “i— w-well, you see…”

and then you started rambling, just like you did every time something made you nervous. and rin could only look at you as if nothing else was worth looking at, because really, to him, it wasn’t. 

…well, maybe the sight of you walking down the aisle would get the cake. he might have to find out soon. 

MICHAEL KAISER

once you started dating bastard munchen’s star, michael kaiser, it was natural to have his world collide with yours. everything from football to blue hair dye to weird sleeping habits became a part of you as well, and you nourished every expanse of your world his presence alone was able to give.

your favorite part, besides learning all of him — his little habits, quirks and love languages that seemed to be crafted solely for you — was definitely immersing yourself in his culture. germany always seemed distant and quite detached from your life, and you loved to learn new things from different perspectives. 

food, traditions, language… michael loved teaching you things, giddy and secretly grateful for your excitement. it was his sparkly eyes that prompted you to learn a few things by yourself to surprise him and make him happy. 

the tiktok trend was just a nice coincidence. 

you phone was hidden on the kitchen balcony, camera recording and waiting for the moment your boyfriend would arrive in your shared apartment. luckily, kaiser was very punctual, and you didn’t have to wait much longer.

“liebling, i’m home!” you heard him scream from the front door, and you giggled to yourself, pretending to be busy chopping vegetables for dinner. 

you waited for his footsteps to near where you were, and, as soon as you felt he entered the camera frame, you answered:

“welcome home, ehemann!”

you didn’t have to turn around to see the way kaiser completely froze; arms stopping just before reaching your waist as if your figure was an illusion created by his tired mind. you fought hard to suppress your grin.

“what… did you say…?” his voice was low and uncertain, but there was no annoyance in it; just pure confusion. 

turning your head around to finally look at him, you were pleased to find your mikka with rosy cheeks and a bashful expression, so extremely unusual for a guy like him you couldn’t help but feel your heart flutter on your chest. 

you gave him your best innocent look. “huh? isn’t that how you say boyfriend?”

“i-it’s husband, liebe. you called me husband,” his tone was still incredulous, and this time, you couldn’t keep your smile off your face. 

“oh, did i?”

your countenance seemed to finally snap him out of his trance, and michael’s eyebrows shot up, scoffing slightly — albeit still endearingly. his arms circled your waist and he pressed a kiss on the side of your neck. 

“how mean of you, baby. playing with my heart like that.” he trailed more kisses on your neck and jaw, making you squirm. “you tryin’ to kill me or something?”

you giggled again, both from the ticklish kisses he was giving you and the huge amount of love you had harbored just for him. “of course not, baby. i need you alive to make you my husband,” you jested.

“oh, yeah? you wanna make me your husband?”

“yes.” you shifted, giving him a sweet kiss on the cheek. kaiser hugged you a little tighter, feeling something fuzzy inside his chest. “is that a problem?”

“never,” he answered immediately. because it was true.

boyfriend, fiancé, partner, husband… michael didn’t mind what title would be bestowed to him — as long as he could keep being yours.

MIKAGE REO

being the heir of one of the biggest corporations of the country and a professional football player made your boyfriend’s schedule pretty busy. therefore, thursdays like these, where you and him could have a nice walk around the park under the warm sunlight, hand in hand, were extremely rare — hence why they were so appreciated.

reo knew how much his frenetic agenda was a hard toll on your relationship, affecting both of you with distance, longing and short periods of time together. and, well, everyone knew how much of a goner he was for you, so it wasn’t surprising to see him give in whatever spare time he had in his hands — even going as far as making such time exist if there wasn’t any — to be with you for as long as he possibly could.

how could he deny your pretty little eyes pleading to have a stroll in the park with him ‘just for a few minutes?’

god, you were so selfless. he wanted to give you all of his minutes, hours, days, weeks, months and years. and for all that’s worth, reo would never deny you of such a thing — he’d rather shoot himself than make you think you weren’t loved with every fiber of his being.

the weather was nice; a gentle breeze kissing both of your faces and making everything more pleasant. you were both chatting and appreciating the calm environment when you spotted an old lady a few feet ahead, selling different colored roses for the passersby. a smile was etched onto your lips, and you impulsively let go of reo’s hand to run towards her. 

“why hello, dear. would you like to buy a rose?”

your boyfriend watched you beam to the lady and slowly approached you, though still keeping his distance and trying hard not to intervene and buy all the roses for you. 

“yes, please! a red one would be perfect.”

“oh, who will you give it to?” asked the woman, already taking one flower from the bunch to hand it to you. 

your smile became slightly more bashful, “it’s for my husband!”

and fuck, if reo wasn’t already completely in love with you and thoroughly believed you were his soulmate until then, he certainly would after that very moment. he could feel his cheeks burning and his tongue rolling inside his mouth with how speechless he became. his heart soared with your words, excitement coursing through his veins with a love so overwhelming he nearly fell on his knees right there. 

heavens, he loved you so fucking much. and you made him realize it was about time he proved it to you (once again).

his hands easily found his phone in his pocket, and a quick call to the jewelry store was made while you busied yourself with paying for the flower. reo couldn’t stop smiling like a lovesick fool, but he didn’t mind.

“hey, mr. fuji, it’s mikage! you know, i think it’s time for that visit i mentioned a while ago…”

he might not fall to his knees right there, but he would drop at one knee very soon.

© 2024 itoshiexx. do not plagarise, translate, or repost any of my work on here or other sites.

if you like my writing and would like to support me, you can 𝐥𝐞𝐚𝐯𝐞 𝐦𝐞 𝐚 𝐭𝐢𝐩 𝐨𝐧 𝐤𝐨-𝐟𝐢 ! any amount is welcomed and very appreciated! ♥

[jj-one]

HATE YOU

this is smut, do not interact if under 18

pairing: enemies to lovers ? (sorta one-sided tho), college au, fuckboy!jungkook x f!reader genre/tags: smut, angst, alcohol usage, dirty talk, lowkey perverted!jk, fingering, piv, unprotected sex (oof), drunk sex, public sex (reader & jk do it at a house party), riding, video recording **pls don’t do none of this irl LMAO words: 2.7k

**old repost from my deleted blog

Hate is a strong word— at least that’s what people try and say. You meant it though, it was a word you didn’t use lightly. Especially when it came to your opinion on 99% of the male population at your school. You couldn’t stand most of them, they all just wanted one thing. Getting into your pants.

You despised hook-up culture with a passion and it didn’t help that most guys who tried talking to you were all the same. You had a special hatred for a particular individual the most though— Jeon Jungkook from your physics class. He was the most arrogant, conceited, egotistical person you’ve ever met your whole life.

Every class he would have a different girl with him wrapped around his arm, walking him to the door like he’s some kind of royalty. The way almost every girl would swoon over him just because he’s good looking was baffling to you. Yeah he may have a pretty face but does that cancel everything else out? Of course not. You’ll never understand why these women would choose to go after someone like him, you felt embarrassed for them honestly.

“Jungkook, meet me after class I’ll be waiting for you!” Some girl shouted through the door to get his attention.

He was sitting two seats from you, looking at his phone while paying no mind to the obvious screaming being directed to him. He was so full of himself it was ridiculous.

“Hey y/n, what’re you doing tonight?”

That voice startled the hell out of you. Who gave Jungkook the right to even be speaking to you right now? Looking over in his direction, you give him an empty stare.

“Why do you care?” You said harshly.

It makes no sense why he would even try talking to you, you’ve never given him any indication you liked him.

“Sheesh, someone woke up on the wrong side of the bed today,” he chuckles, “you should pull up to my party tonight!” You wanted to almost physically gag at the wink he just gave you.

“I’m good.” You shut him down quickly and try moving on but he doesn’t let you off that easy.

“You sure? The whole schools practically gonna be there, you don’t wanna miss out on all the fun do ya?” That annoying smirk on his face was really starting to irritate you.

“I said I’m good, I’d never show up to one of your dumb ass parties.”

“I think you got me mixed up with someone else, my parties are always lit. If you have a change of heart though, I’ll make sure to show you a real good time.”

You scoff, utterly disgusted by his last comment, just about everything he said had sexual undertones to them. His humor was weird and extremely perverted which heavily pissed you off. You couldn’t wait for this class to be over.

“We’re almost here!” Yuna exclaims in the passenger seat.

You were in the back with two of your other friends as you were headed to a party. You weren’t totally up for partying tonight but ultimately your friends were able to convince you to go. You don’t even know where the party is but maybe it’s good to get your mind off things.

“Oh, by the way who’s party is this?” You ask suddenly as Lisa pulls into a driveway.

The car got silent for a second, no one answered your question. It was a bit odd to you the way they all froze up.

“Actually… it’s Jungkook’s party…” Lisa finally spoke, her eyes kept trailing away from you.

“What the fuck? Of all places you choose to go you pick him?!” You felt so betrayed.

They really drove you all the way here just to trick you into coming and now you have no escape plan. They all begged and pleaded for you to suck it up and let loose for just one night. You finally agreed but only under the condition that you want to be far away from him as possible.

“Why do you even dislike him so much? You would think he had murdered someone or something!” Your friend asks.

“I just think he’s a pretentious asshole that doesn’t deserve all the hype he gets.”

They just shrug your opinion off and get out the car. You huff as you open the door and head to the party with the rest of them.

You instantly felt claustrophobic once you go inside. There were crowds of people everywhere. Jungkook was right, everyone at the school was practically here. Loud rap music was blaring through the speakers, red solo cups scattered the floor, people getting sloppy drunk or stoned; the perfect stereotypical house party.

You haven’t seen him yet so that was a good sign and you go up to the kitchen to get drinks with Lisa. 20 minutes pass by now and Lisa was left out of your sight. You have no idea where she could’ve run off to and now you have to search the place to find your friends.

Heading outside into the backyard, your balance was becoming unstable from the alcohol in your system. You were taking shots of Hennessy back to back and it caught up to you faster than you could blink. You sat down on one of the lawn chairs since your head was starting to feel really heavy. You felt a sudden tap behind your shoulder and hear a voice that even when you’re drunk, you can sense with disdain.

“Well, well, well if it isn’t little miss ‘i’d never show up to one of your dumb ass parties!’” Jungkook teases while coming from behind you.

“Get the hell away from me!” You lean away from him to leave you alone but he only came closer.

“This is my house so I don’t need to go anywhere, if anything I think I should kick you out for being so mean to me.” His face inched towards yours further, putting you in an uncomfortable position.

You don’t know why your body felt paralyzed though, it was probably just from all the alcohol inebriating your mind.

“You know, I never understood why you actually hate me. I never hurt you did I?” He says, slightly cocking his head to the side.

His tattooed hand landed on your knee, just planting it there while keeping strong eye contact. You couldn’t speak for some reason, it was as if an enormous lump has formed and got caught inside your throat. He looks down at the skirt you’re wearing and bites his lip, playing with his lip ring.

“Why aren’t you talking? You usually have a lot to say to me, why so quiet now sweetheart? Cat got your tongue?” He continues speaking in that condescending tone of his and you’ve had enough now.

“I fucking hate your guts Jungkook, I absolutely despise you. You’re a cocky, perverted fuckboy that needs to be humbled and finally put in your place!” You snap back at him while pushing his hand away.

“Woah girl chill out, that was a bit harsh don’t ya think? Also, I’d love for you to put me in my place any day.” Yet again, he never fails to make a sexually charged comment.

“You’re disgusting, seriously get help!” You attempt to get up from the lawn chair but he pushes you back down.

“You know, I’ve always liked my girls a little feisty. I find it hot when girls yell at me.”

Either this man has a humiliation kink or is just plain stupid— either way you don’t want to be anywhere near him but he wouldn’t let you leave.

“Please just go away Jungkook, I don’t want you in my sight anymore.”

“Really? Because if that were true then you would’ve been left already,” his hand went to stroke the side of your hair “seems like you really don’t want me to leave.”

His other hand went back to your knee again but slowly trails up to your thigh and goes under your skirt this time. You were surprised within yourself that you were even letting this happen. He leans in to your face, being just a few inches away from his lips. You became almost in a trance by those pink, pillowy lips. You don’t know what came over you but you grab his face and messily kiss him. The movement of your lips colliding and syncing together as he deepened the kiss. He sensually touches your thigh while you moan into the kiss and he squeezes your thigh tightly in response. Looking around to see all the people still here when you pull away from him; you can’t fathom you just made out with Jungkook in front of all these goddamn people. You just lost all respect for yourself.

“You know I’ve always secretly had a crush on you y/n?” Jungkook admits, “I kinda like it when girls are mean to me. Or maybe I just like it when you’re mean, I haven’t figured it out yet.”

“Let me show you how mean I can get then.” You reply, staring up at him with hungry eyes.

That cheesy grin never leaving his face as he hears you speak. The tension only grew thicker and he wasn’t about to waste another second.

“Sit on my lap.” He uses his hands to maneuver you and leans back in the chair.

You drunkenly stumble on top of him, feeling him against you. Your body heat raised through the roof but this time you were sure it wasn’t because of the liquor. You straddle his lap as you go back to hastily making out. His wandering hands kept slipping down to your ass to squeeze it and you were starting to feel dizzy from the way he was kissing you. You feel his touch under your skirt to play with you some more, not caring if anyone’s looking at this point.

“I don’t think we should be doing this.. not here at least. Too many people.” You say when pulling away from his lips.

“I really don’t give a fuck, it’s my party let them watch. Let’s put on a good show for everyone, yeah?”

You know this goes beyond against every moral you’ve had before. You’re about to do the one thing you told yourself that you’d never do.

“Sounds like a plan to me.” Agreeing to go along with his narrative.

He lets you in charge now, letting you have full control over the way you get to ride him. You push your panties to the side and he undoes his pants to free his fully hard member. You didn’t realize how much of a nice cock he has, it was well groomed and had the perfect size/width.

“You have a really pretty dick, must I say.” You still can’t believe these words are being said to Jungkook.

“Thanks baby, I can’t wait for it to be in that pretty little pussy of yours.”

He drags two of his fingers down to your core and swipes in a circular motion, smearing the wet slick as he watches your mouth open wide with pleasure. His digits sink into your cunt harshly, pushing them deeper and deeper.

“Fuck! Your fingers feel too good…” you hid your face in his shoulder as he splits you open.

Your eyes hung low and your mind was hazy. Unable to think straight, you just wanted to feel Jungkook inside of you already.

“Need to fuck you nowww!” You yell, almost sounding a bit whiny.

“So do it then cutie. Come fuck yourself on my cock.”

He withdraws his digits out of you and licks the juices off them one by one. His grin would only get wider as you lowered yourself on his cock. You were so soaking wet you sunk down on him easily while resting your hands around his shoulders to brace yourself a bit before moving. Once you regain focus you slide up and down on his shaft nice and slow; making him bite his lip, moan, and curse under his breath.

“Your pussy feels so good… so tight… fuck..” his mind was going blank as you pick up a steady pace.

You were so out of it by now that you were bouncing on his cock in a frenzy. He roughly thrusted his hips back into you while you sloppily rode him. The way he filled you up felt like you were in heaven. You open your eyes for a second, forgetting that you were at a party. Almost everyone was looking at you, some people even took out their phones to record the scene in front of them. It was probably all the alcohol you drank but you didn’t even care anymore, you continued savagely riding him. You’re moaning louder as you slam down into him harder, pulling his body closer to yours. He loudly grunts from your walls aching around him, his cock was throbbing so intensely he felt himself wanting to burst already.

People were beyond shocked to see this happening, it was a wild party but they weren’t expecting all this. You try not to pay attention to everyone and focus on Jungkook so you can make yourself cum. Then out of nowhere, he spontaneously lifts you up while you’re still on his cock. Engulfing those large hands on your ass cheeks to keep you balanced and thrusts into you deep while he’s standing up. You had your arms wrapped tightly around him, you weren’t too scared of falling since he had a strong grip on you. You were taking his cock with each harsh stroke he gave, screaming out his name over and over so the whole party could hear it.

“Fuck yes Jungkook! Keep fucking me just like that, you’re so good!!” You could feel yourself coming close and so does Jungkook. Wet strands of sticky hair cling to his face from all the work he’s putting in, his eyebrows furrowed to concentrate solely on making you cum.

“Gonna cum on this cock for me baby? I feel you getter tighter ‘round me.”

“Yess, wanna cum on your cock so bad please!”

He was hitting all the spots in you just right, the slight curve of his shaft fit so perfectly in your core. Your mouth was back to being jaw locked again, feeling the heat wave of your orgasm coming through. It hit even harder when you were drunk, you felt like you were going to fall out of his arms but he noticed you slipping and pulls you up into a firmer grasp. While shutting your eyes you feel your release take over, cursing and moaning his name repeatedly like a broken record.

“I’m ‘bout to cum ….” He pulls out of you and sets you back on the lawn chair, “look up and open wide for me.”

You open your mouth eagerly for him, he gives his cock a few pumps before releasing his white creamy load into your mouth. You swallow every drop of his cum and stick your tongue out for him to show your empty mouth. He smiles at the pretty sight of you and goes in to kiss you once again.

“This is fucking insane!” One of the random people at the party says.

You recognize the person since they’ve been watching you from the start. To say that you and Jungkook left everyone at that party speechless was an understatement.

“You know people were taking videos of us right?” Jungkook says cautiously.

“Yeah… it’s probably going to end up all over social media now, if it hasn’t already. Oh well, like I care!” You shrug nonchalantly.

Oh you’ll definitely care when you sober up.

“Let’s get outta here?” Jungkook zips his pants back up and takes his hand out for you to grab.

You hold onto him and balance your wobbly legs to stand up. You were both severely drunk but he held his liquor way better than you did. For the rest of the night, the party continued and you ended up finding your friends. They soon found out about you were doing and how you fucked Jungkook in front of everyone there, they were all completely taken aback. You went from hating his guts to him destroying yours— guess that’s one way you can end a burning hatred for someone.

[dabratzchronicles]

Tick

Aaron Pierre as Terry Richmond

You as Yourself

Summary: It's Terry birthday! While he is out with his homeboys, you decide to send him a video you made, but what happens when the reaction you get is something you never expected?

Warnings: Nasty Shit, You are able to be picked up, dry humping, P IN V, size kink, established relationship, kind of possessiveness? you'll see why.

A/N: Yall, *fans myself* I love being a whore omg. I hope yll enjoy this as much as I did and as of rn? I need to change my panties

A/N2: be on the look out, I got some shit cooking up that'll make your coochie beat many miles a min!

A/N3: IMMA READ YALL SHIT TMR! I SEEN SOME SHIT IN THIS TAGGG HUNNYYYY and shoutout to the lady who inspired us to toss this man around 😏 love you megan! @megamindsecretlair

You stopped your recording and giggled, All that booty in the pants and it moves like water, Oh how jealous these other bitches should be. You edited the video to your liking and pondered for a second, who should be the first person to be blessed with such beauty within a video. 

Terry, Obviously!

If there’s anything that man wouldn’t do, is hype you up like like he is not a 6’4 lightskin with the body of a bodyguard, like guarding the president type shit. But what people don’t really understand is under all that tough man act, he is a big softie down under. A classic textbook example of a pitbull. All big and scary bark bark rawr rawr until you’re their favorite human and they won't leave you alone, you can’t count on each hand how many times Terry wanted you to be the big spoon, and he is your emergency contact. 

You scrolled and scrolled and searched for his name until you finally found it, your thumb hovering over the send button. 

A part of you didn’t want to send him the video, you thought you were feral but that man? Puts your thoughts to shame, for the most part. 

But gee that man loves your body, love each curve that sat, the cellulite he would trace when you two watched something on tubi, your face that he would cup every now and then and you would melt each time, getting lost in his ocean eyes as he would get lost studying your features, as if you were his Mona Lisa, his prized possession, painted and crafted so perfectly, That nigga Leo Da Vinichi aint got shit on you.

You mustered all your strength to press the send button, the loading bar at the top made your stomach flip and turn like the Gymnastic Olympics. These lil fuckers are giving it all its might. 

Your phone buzzed with a sound, You knew it was Terry but it still scared the dog shit outta you, it also didn’t help that you are high. 

Looking down to see what he said, you felt a sigh of relief, it was only a notification that he loved the video. But an eerie feeling came behind that, it's no way he would just love a video. A video like that? He’d be telling you that he would be seeing you very soon and you would be covering your face giggling with excitement as he would stop everything and come home.

He didn’t do that tho, weird.

You brushed it off, He is with his homeboys enjoying his birthday, you already gave him his gift of flowers and a teddy bear that had a cute little MCMAP shirt on it along with a poem of how much you loved him, you agreed on the no sex part until after he got home because he wanted to, he would be home possibly trying to trap you in the house for the summer, and you promised this summer was gonna be one for the fuckin books! 

You stretched your legs out, and your knees were fuckin killing you like Terry gave you one free ticket to pound town too rough. But you felt sexy! That damn SiR and TeaMarr know how to throw down onna song. But fuck that shit. It's time to enjoy your time without Terry for once. 

You walked with a twist around the house, bouncing like a lady on the moon to the beat of the song, the sensuality flowing happily in the air as the airwaves of Say Yes by Floetry carried you lovely. 

In the midst of getting lost in the song. A thought flew into your head, Where the fuck is Terry and that was the million-dollar question for right now, it's been an hour since you last sent the video and he just loved it after that? Silence. Did his homeboys see the video? Did he not like it? That’s silly, you know he loved it, but why love it? Were You thinking too hard on this and need to enjoy your night? 

The answer is yes. He knows where home is. 

Your cute pink headphones sat highly above your head, the right side is being a fucking bitch right now. You adjusted it so it could sit better, covering your ear fully. Better.

You walked away from the kitchen and autopiloted to the living room to see what you could watch on Netflix, they added a ton of shit on there, you just might watch that movie about the ex-military getting done dirty and getting his biggest getback, taking down the whole damn station. What was that fuckin movie called? 

You didn’t even take 3 full steps before you got swept off your feet, but not scared because you knew it was Terry. Who did you know that can pick up all that good woman?! Not a naan fuckin soul!

Terry took his hands and raised you from under your armpits, you jumped a bit to wrap your arms around his neck, his cologne swallowing your nose whole, inhaling every ounce of it. Your legs wrapped around his waist as he corrected his arms from your pits to your waist, his lips then began to tackle your neck, tickling your every so often. “Hey, Mufasa.” You giggled, “I can’t hear! My Headphones.” 

Terry lifts his head and tilts it back, His nostrils flared as air blows at you, sending you into a giggle fit. Looking at you still, He mouthed ‘Take them off’ to which you then protested that your shit was on! You couldn’t take them off and at least let the song finish. He reached into your pocket to slide your phone out, a few swipes, the music switched to the surround sound in the living room. That Meanie!

You yanked your headphones off in a fit, tossing them on the couch. His smile grew wide, “Hey Big Mama. I seen what you sent.” 

“And I seen what you did, you loved it.” You sassed, “You're supposed to hype me up!” 

“You hyped something else up.” He said, his head snuggled in the crook of your neck. Biting your flesh softly in new spots. 

“Oh, you slut!” You teased, “I’m high and wanted to watch Netflix.” 

He cocked his head back. “Girl, you are my woman.” He said, walking away with you firmly secure in his grasp. “And that Netflix shit dead. I need my dance and I need it now.” 

You both laughed goofyly as he walked you both into the room you two shared. He tapped you twice, a signal to unlock your legs. You swung your legs to prepare yourself for the carpet underneath. Terry unbuttoned his mustard-like shirt, exposing his chest and his abs, you brought your bottom lip to bite on it, squeezing your legs together to suppress the heartbeat in between your legs.

He tugged at your basketball shorts, looking you in your eyes with a smirk. “My first request is this? Need to be off.” 

“Wait! I got on granny panties! Can I at least switc-“ 

“Mamas, I don’t give a fuck about your Grandmother’s Underwear, See I'll make it better for you. I'll take my pants off.” 

Excuse you?! How does anything top granny panties? Unless it's tidy whities, what can possibly be more embarrassing than that?

Terry read you like a book, somehow seeing what you were saying in your head. He unbuckled his belt, making a ‘fwip’ sound at how quickly he took it off. He grabbed your hand and placed it on his pants hook. “I’ll let you do the honors.” 

With one hand, you unhooked his pants, swinging your other arm around to pulled them down to his ankles, to which, you busted out with laughter. This nigga got Freddy Kruger boxers on. You genuinely couldn’t contain yourself as you were hunched over holding your stomach, doing breathing techniques to get serious about this. You have to give a lap dance! Get it together! 

Terry stepped out of his pants and kicked them to the side, shaking your phone in his hand, reminding you that he had it. “Now. May I please get this dance?” he asked, planting his butt in the armchair that sat beside the bed. “I don’t know, my pants is stuck, I need a biggg stronggg birthday boy to help me take them off.” You pestered him, grabbing your phone out of his hands to switch the audio output from the surround sound in the living room to the one in the room. His hands snaked into your shorts, covering each of your cheeks as he kneaded your ass like fresh dough, You moaned into the air as he worked his fingers into each kink and knot, your warmness expanding more throughout your body. 

You leaned forward a bit, lost in the massage you caught yourself, and your hand flew to his shoulder. “If you gonna take these bitches off just do it!” You pouted, almost sick of the massage but shit, when was the next time you were going to get one like this? 

“They already off, You just bullshittin’ with these navy blue undies.” What?

Your LaLa bubble popped and your head zapped down to see that he really took them off. Without you knowing… This man, He a sneaky lil critter. This is exactly what the fuck you get for getting with an MCMAP nigga.

You turned around to face away from him. “I have to pick a song! and It's Not gonna be the one you heard.” Terry groaned at your words but your lips ran silently as you talked to yourself, What would be the best song for right now? What makes you feel the most sexy, gives you the confidence to give Mr Handsome a dance he may never forget? Come on brain. You have to think of- Aha! Click!

That's Why I Love You by SiR ft Sabrina Claudio, gently rang out, tossing the phone on the bed, you mentally prepared yourself, Let the music swallow you whole, be engulfed by it, let it determine your night. 

You swayed your hip to one side, winding up your snaps until your hands reached the top of your head. Keeping the beat in your hips until the beat changes, you then move both hips, relaxing your muscles and letting Mary Jane drive the boat. Rolling your lower half like a belly dancer, tossing your hair to one side as you looked back at Terry, his eyes never leaving your ass, the hill in his boxers gave you a one-tier boost in your head.

You inched closer to him, bending forward a little, sitting directly on his bulge, you moaned with your mouth closed, using your lower half to spell the words: ‘I Love You’ Backwards and Forwards. 

“Fuck,” He groaned, The feeling of your pussy and his dick rubbing on each other and not going in was killing him. And you knew that shit, which is why you prolonged it. Like the sneaky little devil you are. 

You lifted yourself and slammed down gently, not too hard as to it would kill the mood, but just enough force to take him by surprise. You dipped your body down, gripping his ankles, you twerked on him, imitating the video, Life imitates art they say, Ain't no art better than the real thing.

He placed both of his hands on your hips, keeping you steady and pausing your movements, Rude. You felt him rub his print up and down your sopping clothed lips. 

“Stay like this, please.” He moaned, his whimpers powered you but you didn’t dare to disobey. You let him hump you, using your body any way he wanted to use it. That’s Why You Loved Him, and all his nastiness. 

Terry went into a twitching fit, his moans grew louder, the curses under his breath spat out quickly, his grip tightening on your hips, a thought snuck in your head and it might get you fucked up. 

You threw your left leg over the arm of the armchair, twerking slowly on him until you felt the warmth of his cum shooting out but not going anywhere. “That’s It.” You dragged your words, a long guttural moan came from him afterward. “That’s my gooddd boy.” 

Terry laughed from behind you. You let go of his ankles to raise your body, moving your hair out of the way. Terry grinned, lifting his hand towards your neck. “I bet not— ever Find out you giving a nother nigga this kinda dance. Not even yo homegirls can get it, This shit for me and me only.” 

“You territorial ass nigga.” you joked, his hand guiding your head to his, “I mean it,” His breath tickled your lips. “I need all this to me. Or else Big Mama ain't gone be able to walk.” 

“Im tryna have that happen now-” You didn’t even get to finish the sentence, a squeal finished it for you as he picked up again, tossing you on the bed, the pillows and the unmade bed cushioned your landing. You flipped around to a pleasant surprise. Terry and his Mini Him standing and dancing. “At ease.” you poked fun at him. “I have to take off my stuff as well.” 

“I can always rip em.” He said

“If you rip these, you're buying me new ones.” 

“Well,” He thought for a second, only for a second though, his arms shot out as he tore the fabric like it was nothing. What monster did you create tonight? All you did was send a video. “I always wanted to buy you lingerie, Think of it as a head start.”

Lewd sounds escaped from your mouth as you watched him toss your now-torn undies into the trash. That shit was kinda hot, almost made you want to wear them before getting cracked to get the same results. 

He climbed on the bed resting his back on the black headboard, gripping his dick with a sneer, giving it a few strokes, teasing you with it right in front of your face. 

You smiled at Terry, the sight was too beautiful to fuck up, but way too beautiful to not get a piece of. You crawled to him with your ass wiggling in the air like a cat, as you got closer to him, the Mahogany scent grew stronger, the beast inside you getting more eager to finally be let out.

You reached him, placing kisses on his collarbone all the way up to his ear where you whispered, “Want me to recreate the video?” Taking over his hand, jerking him off with your thumb circling his tip. 

He breathed out a quick yes before his head dropped down, resisting the urge to cum all over your hands, your soft hands gripping his dick had him singing sweet faint moans. You rested your other hand on the headboard, pointing his dick upwards, letting go of it to lick your hand, fuck, You miss the way he tasted, You can see why he gets such pleasure sucking on his fingers after eating you out. 

You align yourself with him, his tip brushes against your clit, your body twitches in response. You sat on it halfway, you both gasping cutely. “Fuck,” you underestimated how much you could take, his dick already made itself comfortable, filling you up deliciously. 

“Come on Big Mama.” He groaned, noticing that you have already hit your limit of dick. “I know you can take more than that.” 

“But you’re too big.” You dragged out your words.

“Oh, Come on,” he started to tease you as he slightly pushed you down on him, making you gasp a little bit.

“You know you can take all of it, what was all that shit you was doing in that video?” you looked down at him as you locked eyes, then quickened your pace. “There she is, There’s my princess.” He groaned and grunted at you squeezing him. “Taking all this dick, I wish you knew how pretty you looked taking all of me.” You smiled at him, gaining enough confidence to bounce on him, making your ass clap with each collision you made with his body. 

He moaned so beautifully that had you clenching around him, grabbing his hand to place it around your throat, he already knew what to do as he gripped your throat not applying too much pressure, but just enough to still feel pleasurable. 

“Shit,” He whines, his eyes squeezed shut, you held on to his arm as you slowed down your pace, taking your time with it but it was killing you. And it was killing him too. 

“Why are you fuckin me like this? Fuck this pussy so good.” 

“Because you deserve it, birthday boy. I love you, baby.” You said, planting kisses on his sweaty head and face, smiling at the putty of a man you made. 

“I love you too, And I’m sorry.” 

You didn’t get to question him, his arm wrapped around you as he pounded you from underneath, taking you by surprise. Terry pounded you senselessly, creating waves with each smack that landed on your asscheeks, it was too much too bare. 

“Oh fuck, Im bout to cum!” You announced, fucking him back as your body began to shake vigorously, thanking god you didnt have nails on or it would be guaranteed that it would be four little indents on one side and one on the other. 

Moans filled up the room as the squelching was drowned out by your screaming. You black out momentarily, collapsing on Terry’s body, his shoulder becomes your headrest as your body halts production. 

When you came to, all you saw was braids, his braids, Earth to you, Gather the strength and get up hoe! 

“Happy Birthday, Pretty Eyes.” 

“Thank You, But I’m not done yet.” he breathed, wrapping his other arm around you as he picked you up, still inside you, he bounced to the bathroom. “I need to clean off after round 2!” 

You snickered at him, squirming under his grasp. Who knows what would happen in the shower? All you knew? You truly weren’t going to be able to walk tomorrow. 

Not even to buy new panties to replace the ones he ripped like an animal. 

Fin🌺 

You've Got Mail! : @megamindsecretlair @theereinawrites @theebaddesttt @thecapodomme @kindofaintrovert @kimuzostar @darqchilddaydreamz @nahimjustfeelingit-writes @planetblaque @persethegawd @episodes-ff @henneseyhoe @harmshake

this is my default taglist, if you wish to be removed or added, please let me know! I love you! and as alwayz? have a black ass day! bratz out🌺

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P.S. lmk if yall wanna see his reaction when he got said video

[harrysgal]

I DIG YOUR CINEMA (6)

harry styles x yn aspiring filmmaker — social media AU

About the smau: yn starts posting videos on youtube and is trying to build a career as a filmmaker. Things are going pretty well for her and she starts getting more attention when she creates content about shows she goes to. She’s also a fan of Harry’s music and some of his fans start getting suspicious when his team starts interacting with her.

Disclaimer: The story it’s set in 2021 and it will follow their relationship through the LOT leg in the US. Since this is nothing but fiction, I will be following some of the real timeline but also adding my own stuff. On top of that, I won’t be basing myself on Harry’s actual posts.

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PART 5 // MASTERLIST

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I DIG YOUR CINEMA (PART 6) — PHILLY AND DC

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liked by bestfriend, lookitsnyoh, mollyjane_x and 74,215 others 

yourinstagram sorry guys, had to visit my parents really quick to meet the new addition to the family. i also went over to my best friend just so she could tell me ‘i told you so’, did some thinking while staring through the window, and had some quality time catching up with my niblings. everything went great and it got me all excited for what’s coming next :D i honestly cant believe how lucky i am to have all these great people around me. 

now im back to duty and ready to spread all my love around, so… who wants some? 

view all 11,401 comments 

user7 YESSSSSSS HIIIIII THERE YOU ARE!!! user13 omg did your parents get a puppy??? 🥹 harryfan3 when i got to the end of the caption tho !!!!! 

↳ harryfan11 right?! so SASSY omg i love this woman

anthonypham 🙋‍♂️

↳ lookitsnyoh 🙋🏼‍♀️ ↳ paulithepsm 🙋🏿‍♂️ ↳ pillowpersonpp 🙋‍♀️ ↳ mitchrowland 🙋‍♂️ ↳ _basselin 🙋‍♀️ ↳ glenne_azoff 🙋‍♀️ ↳ jefezoff 🙋‍♂️ ↳ harryfan5 STOP THEY’RE ALL HERE TO SUPPORT HER 😭 ↳ harryfan64 Harry isnt tho ↳ user9 they alllllll want some love lmao i love it ↳ harryfan64 not Harry tho. bc he didn’t comment  ↳ harryfan27  ＠harryfan64 for the love of God just stop you’re embarrassing our fandom 

user1 im glad to see you here. hope you’re feeling our support 🥰❤️ harryfan YOU’RE SOOOOOO  loveynrry this is why we haven’t seen her around with harry then :’) bc she took some days off 

↳ user13 no bc the fact that he probably gave her some days off after what happened is so sweet :’) ↳ harryfan80 or maybe he just didn’t want to be linked to her anymore so he sent her away ↳ loveynrry ＠harryfan80 fuck off from my comment 

user5 yn really said “fuck you for posting that shit” and that’s why she’s so awesome  bestfriend miss you already <3 bestfriend we’re the lucky ones btw  bestfriend also ily 

↳ user4 you two are the coolest i want to be friends with you too ↳ harryfan17 okay but what were you right about tho 👀

harryfan18 This is so childish 🙄 you could just address the rumors instead of adding more to them yknow 

↳ harryfan25 how is she adding more to the rumors? just curious ↳ harryfan18 When she makes jokes about it but doesn’t say things aren’t true she’s allowing them to keep the narrative going  ↳ harryfan25 she never allowed them to “start” with this narrative, tho ↳ harryfan18 Maybe not. But now she’s clearly aware of what’s happening and what they’re saying so she could put a stop to it instead of making jokes about it ↳ harryfan25 honestly I don’t think she would be able to stop them but ok  ↳ harryfan74 She clearly wants the attention so of course she won’t stop the rumors 

harryfan26 very funny but do you have a bf or not????   user15 WE LOVE YOU ❤️ 

Sep 15, 2021. • 

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liked by harryfan18, harryfan22 and 217 others

harryupdates Harry out in Philadelphia with some friends! 

view all 81 comments

harryfan31 awwww he’s so happy  harryfan35 yasssss my love <3 can’t wait to see you tomorrow!!! harryfan18 no yn around FINALLY 

↳ harryfan56 good. she should stay with that bf of hers and away from him ↳ harryfan48 I knew Harry would put a stop to that whole fiasco after the truth came out  ↳ harryfan52 yep. and I’m pretty sure we’ll slowly fully stop hearing about her 

harryfan15 can people leave yn out of their mouths pls 🙄 

Sep 16, 2021. •

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liked by annetwist, bestfriend, sisterinlaw and 61,917 others 

yourinstagram what a crazy crazy busy day! didnt think i’d have time to walk around the city this time but turns out i did and omg!! im glad i was wrong bc philly you’re truly GORGEOUS <3 

view all 9,347 comments

loveynrry can’t believe yn went to a museum and harry wasn’t there lol harryfan5 omg i’m going to the show in DC and I’M SO EXCITED harryfan5 would it be okay if I approached to say hello?? dont want to make you uncomfortable I just love your videos so much Id love to talk to you about it

↳ yourinstagram omg yesss that’d be totally okay! you’re so sweet for asking <3 see you at the show! ↳ harryfan5 omg???? STOPSJFNAK  ↳ harryfan3 GIRL SHE REPLIED ↳ harryfan5 I know stop I’m losing my mind I DIDN’T EVEN THINK SHE’D SEE IT OMG

harryfan49 WHERE’S HARRY?!!

↳ harryfan66 living his own life bc he finally realized what a shitshow she is

user1 😍 so pretty! it must be amazing to get to know all these places

↳ yourinstagram it is! its been one of my favorite parts of this job for sure :)))

harryfan54 You’re not fooling anyone we all know Harry wasn’t with you 

↳ user3 ??? she never said Harry was with her?? ↳ harryfan54 C’mon she keeps posting all these vague things just so people wonder about it ↳ user5 you should see a doctor. istg this can’t be healthy 

harryfan72 isn’t it funny how after those headlines came out we didn’t see harry and yn together anymore ☠️ user5 can harrys fans leave this comment section? WE DON’T WANT YOU HERE SO GTFO

↳ harryfan3 i swear not all of us are like this :( ↳ user5 no omg i know that :( i’m sorry it’s just annoying to see these comments taking over her posts thats all ↳ user17 also the fact that she replied to some people shows she’s reading things :( ↳ user9 istg if yn stops interacting with us because of them… 😠 ↳ harryfan3 yeah i get it guys :( i wish there was a way to stop them  ↳ harryfan19 I hope she at least knows how many of us really like her 

Sep 16, 2021. •

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liked by harryfan18, harryfan22 and 357 others

harryupdates Harry and Yn out in DC this morning!

view all 81 comments

harryfan5 stopppppp user9 oh i love this! harryfan9 MY BABIES 😍 harryfan78 you can’t even see their faces so how do you know it’s really him? 

↳ harryfan68 it’s not them lol ↳ harryupdates It’s 100% him. The fan who saw them also took a picture with Harry but asked us not to post it.  ↳ harryfan78 right 👍 how convenient lmao

Sep 18, 2021. •

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liked by annetwist, bestfriend, jefezoff and 92,127 others 

yourinstagram im supposed to fall asleep but im too excited so here’s a post with some glimpses of this long and marvelous day

view all 13,987 comments

iloveyn respectfully, those are legs for days 🫡 harryfan the way i just GASPED!!   loveynrry i LIVE for the concept of pictures 1 and 3 being on the same photodump  harryfan3 MOTHER bestfriend 🔥 bestfriend 👀 lookitsnyoh pls step on my face

↳ anthonypham pls step on my face  ↳ bestfriend pls step on my face ↳ user3 pls step on my face ↳ harryfan19 pls step on my face  ↳ user2 pls step on my face 

harryfan29 idk why buy harry’s mom liking her posts is so funny to me lol harryfan62 This is so inappropriate  harryfan80 ??? I can’t believe you just posted a picture of your legs along with pictures of your job

↳ harryfan25 wait, what? no offense but how old are you? lol ↳ harryfan80 old enough to know that’s highly unprofessional? ↳ harryfan25 unprofessional to whom? lmao she’s barely showing her legs whilst harry is fully naked on his cover album so i doubt he cares  ↳ harryfan13 hahahahaha that’s so true omg ily ＠harryfan25

user15 ohhhh 😍 i love bold and confident yn  harryfan91 so are you dating harry or not????

↳ harryfan76 she’s not. She’s just desperate for attention ↳ harryfan84 also, she has a boyfriend! 

harryfan5 THANK YOU FOR BEING SO NICE TO ME I LOVED LOVED LOVED MEETING YOU 

↳ harryfan5 THANK YOU AGAIN I MEAN IT YOU’RE THE BEST ↳ yourinstagram emmaaaa ❤️ thank YOU! you’re the sweetest and I loved talking to you :))) hope you had a great show!

Sep 18, 2021. •

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PART 7: FROM DETROIT TO ST. PAUL

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Tag list: @toldyouitwasamelodrama @gem1712 @metanoiablxxm @awatt31 @namelesssreaderrr @ameerakane20 @yessswhale89 @idkkkkkkk123lgb — PLEASE READ: I’ll only add to the next tag list those who interact with this post. I hope you understand, thank you for your excitement.

[justjensenanddean]

Jensen Ackles | DC Convention, September 22, 2024, Main Panel Summary

(FangasmSPN)

Jensen apparently filmed all night on Friday and flew straight here ??? does he sleep???? (x) JJ to her dad: I miss you so much I can't even function. @JensenAckles : I have a few more years of being the center of her universe #SPNDC (x) When asked what they would tell their 16-year old that wants a tattoo, @JensenAckles "A tattoo is a story. You should wait until you've lived enough life to have a good story." (x) Jensen: at 15 you don't have anything figured out yet so just tell her that (x) “There was a scene where dean gets upset and takes a crow bar to the car… and that hurt. That hurt Jensen. But they actually had a panel there so, just so you know, I wasn’t hitting… ✨her✨” (x) Someone asked if there’s a question that they’re like “ugh i hope they hope people don’t ask this agaINNNNN”and Jared said some of the prank stuff i could kiss him (x) Jensen did say tho that even questions they’ve been asked before they think on them over time and there’s not really an “oh no” question cuz we’re all so respectful and good about stuff and if there IS a problem they’ll be like “not answering that NEXT” (x) Jensen: My partner on this new show is 6’6. a 265 lb rugby player. I look TINY compared to him. Like a little baby boy #spndc (x) Question: "Is there anything you would like people to know about you?" @JensenAckles "I am not a good liar. Being an actor, you'd think I'd be a better liar, but I'm not. @DanneelHarris catches me whenever I try." (x) Apparently Danneel can always fucking tell when Jensen is lying lmfao she’s like “you’re AWFUL at that” (x) .@JensenAckles : I wish these communities of fans existed when we were young. I'm glad they do today. #SPNDC (x) Fan: I have anxiety and depression so i just need advice on how to handle it Jared: i seek professional help. i do! Jensen: I think you’ve already taken a huge step in just admitting it to a room of hundreds. know its a journey. It's not something that just gets fixed (x) Dream roles they’ve always wanted to play Jensen: batman. James Bond. Indiana Jones. and a Jedi. (x) Fan: *ask abt video games* Jensen: Dean would just kill dance dance revolution (x)

[danrifics]

I feel like the thing about the vegas video we all could've guessed like yeah they recorded footage but didn't upload it bc it wasn't very interesting but them confirming the sonic underwear has me screaming (even tho we all kinda knew that too but they denied it so much at the time for obvious reasons lmao)

to me for both of these its more of the like denying/ lying around it that makes it crazy to hear be admitted!!

like of course they vegas video was boring, of course thats why it didnt get uploaded but they had to come up with this lie around it that literally made it worse, if theyd just said it was boring back then then not a single person would have cared, but it was so much lting about it that of course we had to then come up with our own crazy reasons!!

its similar with the underwear like a "dan didnt have any clean clothes here cos he accidently fell asleep here so i lent him some clothes" is a normal fucking response but to be like "um actually we both have the same pair" when we all know they dont is a weird ass like that again didnt help their case!!

its similar with the tour bus bed sharing too, the lie around it literally makes it more insane and a bigger conspiracy than it even needed to be, and we all know why all these things were lied about, the gay of it all was hard for them and rightly so, but to be hear now and hear those things be confirmed to be true is wild and its even more wild to me that not everyone is as hyped about it all, like some people havent been here as long or whatever and they dont understand the gravity of it all!!

anyway omg im so sorry this went off on a wild tangent lmao but as you can see i am very passionate about these phanspiracies lmfao

[notsoattractivearenti]

I'm All Yours (Mason Mount x Fem!Reader) 🔞

WC: 1.2K

Warnings: SMUT, oral sex (m receiving), curse and vulgar words. MINORS DNI

A/N: i think we all know why i wrote this one 🫣🤭 this was meant to be a fluff but somehow i started to write smutty lines and there was no turning back lmao blame mason. yes this is short, not proofread and i'm not good at writing smut btw so apologies in advance if this isn't decent 🫣 tho i hope you guys enjoy and i’d love to hear your thoughts thru ask/reply/reblog 🫶🏻 apologies for any errors! feedbacks are highly appreciated 🤍

–

After 5 weeks out because of the injury he picked up at the Spurs game in August, Mason was finally back on the field for a game against Crystal Palace for the EFL Cup. Throughout the recovery process, he was very determined to heal and get better than before because he didn’t like being away from the pitch for so long. All he wants is to give the new club and the fans the best performance – and getting injured was really upsetting for him, but he didn’t want to let it mess with his head. During his comeback game, he played really well during the first half before getting subbed off – he even did an assist from a corner kick which was perfectly finished by Casemiro with a header goal. Watching how he had gained his confidence back after injury and got to prove that he is a deserving addition to the team – unlike what some people said – made you feel even prouder than you’ve ever been of him.

When he went home after the game, he couldn’t stop telling you how good it felt to go back and win. He was also very happy he was able to make an assist, though he is now aiming for at least one goal for the next game.

“You know, Mase, the fans were very happy with how you played,” you told him with pride, “I’m delighted that you’re back, you were amazing.”

“Thank you, my love, I’ll keep trying to deliver. I’m going to give the best I can. For the fans, and most importantly you.” He smiled.

–

Little did the fans know, he had an advertisement video with Nike Underwear – which had been prepared from a while ago – and now ready to be posted. After the incredible game he just had the day before, uploading the video felt like perfectly timed to treat his fans. 

You weren’t present on the set when Mason and the Nike team shot the video, but you saw the pictures he had on his phone – for your benefit, he said teasingly. Since the first time he showed you those pictures, you couldn’t keep your eyes off of his phone. You slowly and carefully checked them out one by one, zoomed them in and out because you didn’t want to miss every little detail. 

“Fuck…” you panted.

“Mason… These are… Insanely hot.”

He was sitting next to you and noticed how your pupils were dilated, your breathing became heavy, and how you kept biting your lip – you were basically drooling over his pictures and he was really satisfied by your reaction.

“Uh, baby, you good?” He asked as he grinned cheekily.

“What?” You glanced at him for a second. “Oh, I...”

You couldn’t even finish your sentence. Those pictures just made you speechless – that man drove you crazy. And before you know it, you were feeling all hot and heavy and your pussy was dripping wet.

“Baby, I’m gonna need a minute…” You whimpered. “Now all that I think about is how bad I want to suck your dick and have your cum in my mouth. Thanks a lot, fucker.”

“Well…” he kissed your neck, then whispered in your ear, “I would very much love that.”

You looked at him and tried to make sure he really wanted you to give him a head. He assured you by unbuttoning his pants and pulled them down.

“Whenever you’re ready, Y/N.” 

You kissed him on the lips and immediately kneeled between his legs and started by rubbing his massive bulge to build up the arousal. Mason still had his boxers on, and when you felt his bulge became harder, you gently pulled them down.

The second his boxers came off, his dick was already fully erect and you couldn’t wait to have it inside your mouth. You started by spat on his hard dick and stroked it up and down. As your hand moved all over his dick, he bit his lip and let out a few moans.

“Mmm… Fuck… That feels good…”

You kept stroking and gave his dick tight squeezes a few times too.

“Y/N… Stop teasing, please…” He growled.

“Tell me what you want now, baby.”

“I want my cock… Inside your fucking mouth…” He begged.

You began by licking his dick up and down for a short while, then swirling your tongue on the tip. His breath hitched – the way your tongue felt around the head made his heart pound and he was feeling all flushed. You dipped your tongue into his slit, and he clenched both his fists and thighs. 

“Ohhh… F-f-fuck…” He panted.

With your hand still stroking, you slowly put his dick deep into your mouth. You started moving up and down at a slow pace, and gradually changed your pace. As you engulfed his dick within your sloppy mouth, he gripped your hair and you were making eye contact with him which he loves so much – he always thinks the eye contact made the action a lot sexier and he isn’t wrong.

“Don’t stop, baby…” He bit back a moan.

The faster and deeper you went, the more intense the waves of pleasure he had. When you moaned, he could feel the vibration coming from your throat and it gave a sexy touch.

“Y/N…”  he murmured, “I’m fucking close…”

The moment you heard him you sucked faster than before and his body began to shiver. He squeezed his eyes shut, soaking the pleasure in.

“Yeah, cum in my mouth.”

“I’m about to cu- ohhh…”

Suddenly, time stopped ticking and his vision faded to black. An explosion of pure bliss just hit and left him breathless. At that moment, he filled your mouth with his cum for you to swallow.

He lied on the bed and was breathing heavily, unable to speak even a word.

“Good fuck, Y/N,” he exhaled, “that was amazing.”

You got up and smiled, now about to clean up. “Mmhmm.”

As you cleaned up, you playfully asked him, “Mase, have you eaten a lot of fruits lately?”

He laughed. “Yeah, I think I have. Tasted sweet, didn’t it?”

You licked your lips – which were still covered with his cum – and nodded in agreement. “Love it.”

–

When the advertisement video was ready, he showed it to you before it got uploaded.

“Woah, you’re going to post this with no warning?” You jokingly asked.

“Yeah, no… Why?” He was confused for a moment.

“Mase, you do know how people are going to react, right? You’re literally wearing nothing but underwear and they can see your bulge? They’re going to go crazy, my love.”

He finally understood why and chuckled.

“Oh baby… I surely don’t mind.” He winked.

“Ugh, please.” You playfully rolled your eyes.

“Hey, don’t worry,” he stood in front of you and gently lifted up your chin, “you are the only one who gets to see and experience the whole show whenever you want to.”

He gave you little kisses starting from your forehead, nose, cheeks then a big one on your lips.

“Just so you know,” he added, “I’m all yours, Y/N.”

You blushed and laughed when you heard him say what he said. 

“Mmm… Lucky me.”

–

taglist: @pulisicsgirl @neverinadream @swimmingismywholelife @chilwellspulisic @bracedes @lovelynikol16 @thoseboysinblue @lizzypotter14 @masonsrem @landoslover

[canthelpit0]

Sturniolo enemies to lovers

Warning: I put sfw and nsfw together, I didn’t separate them bcs they’re almost like a storyline.

Chris sturniolo

🌺 when Chris hates you, you better believe he hates you with a passion

🌺 he’ll definitely hold on to a grudge forever. Like even if it’s something you did in middle school, he’s still thinking about it.

🌺 on that note, something like that is probably the reason you hate each other. Like you were probably friends with all of them until you did something to piss Chris off

🌺 you stopped being friends with Matt and Nick, just because Chris was slandering you and exaggerating everything you did to make you look like the bad guy.

🌺 in high school everyone knew about your rivalry.

🌺 like it was so bad that even the teachers knew about it. They would do everything in their power to not have you two sit near each other in the few classes that you did share (wich weren’t a lot).

🌺one day, one teacher got pretty pissed off at the fact that you two couldn’t function normally when being in the same room, so she paired you guys up for a project in hopes that you’d make up.

🌺 Chris isn’t an ass to most people, in fact he’s pretty bubbly and even childish. He’s really talkative and all. But with you. No.

🌺 you meet up for the project, but not so surprisingly, you get nothing done.

🌺 instead you two hooked up. There was just too much tension between you two. And it turned sexual quick.

🌺 you make it a habit and become friends with benefits, kind of.

🌺 well you still don’t text, and if you do it’s simple “come over”s.

🌺 you’d never say that you ‘need’ him. It’d inflate his ego too much.

🌺 he’d sometimes film your altercations. For personal benefit, and to embarrass you. Not that you would take it.

🌺 whenever one of you was submissive, it would definitely be a brat and brat tamer dynamic.

🌺 sometimes Chris would feel stubby, even then he’d never willingly submit.

🌺 even if Chris would film you to embarrass you, he’d never show those videos or pictures to anyone. Ever. (Same the other way around)

🌺 when they started to do YouTube and car videos, Chris would always sneak in disses.

🌺 like he’d make a backhanded comment about you or smt, and Nick would have to edit it out later on.

🌺 one day Chris thought it’d be a great idea to ask Nick for all the cut footage where he makes comments about you.

🌺 so on your birthday Chris posts a video on his personal YouTube, where he first talks to the camera and wishes you a happy birthday with the fakest smile ever.

🌺 the rest of the 20 minute video is just sequences ranging from full on rants about how much he hates you, to backhanded comments about you.

🌺 you feel offended, but really you’re shocked by how much Chris really talks about you.

🌺 so you just comment on the YouTube video with “damn, you talk about me so much🥺” sarcastically, obviously. Chris doesn’t pin it, but a bunch of people seeing the video like it giving you a permanent place at the top of the comment section.

🌺 you start your own YouTube channel just to hate on Chris.

🌺 sure you were making TikTok’s and going pretty viral there too. You’d make GRWM’s where you talk about how much you hate ‘orange’.

🌺 you’d only ever refer to chris as orange, because he used to be known as the orange hoodie guy, or as Christopher.

🌺 your YouTube blows up. And at first you were mainly just doing Minecraft lets plays (it was 2021 ok), where you were taking about your Emanze hatred a little more.

🌺 on your TikTok’s, Chris would comment things like. “Using me for clout now too 🙄”

🌺 the sassier, and ruder your comments got the harder Chris would fuck you.

🌺 whenever you said something extra, you could almost be sure that Chris would be at your house to fuck you stupid.

🌺 you’d also given Chris a spare key tho your house. Wich probably wasn’t that good of an idea but you didn’t care either way.

🌺 you reconnected with Matt and nick. you started to talk to them again

🌺 wich pissed Chris off, only because now his brothers would stop him when he went to shit talk you.

🌺 your hatred for each other definetly lasted for forever.

🌺 but one day when Chris finally realized that he didn’t want you to be with someone else it clicked.

🌺 but it was seemingly too late.

🌺 Chris and his brothers moved to LA for better opportunities while you stayed back in Boston.

🌺 and while Chris genuinely thought the only reason why you were getting views was him, he was wrong.

🌺 once he moved away and you two stopped talking, your content started to shift too and you started to get more recognition as well.

🌺 whenever Chris came back to Boston, wich wasn’t that frequent, you’d hook up a few times.

🌺 but as soon as he left it was like that never happened.

🌺 on the triplets birthday you’d post a picture of you four together on your insta story wishing them a happy birthday. But you’d cross out Chris’ face.

🌺 a whole year passed like that. Until the drake and Kendrick beef (💀).

🌺 after Kendrick dropped euphoria, you used it on TikTok, the part that’s like “I hate the way you walk..” and tagged Chris in it. You captioned the video “a day as the biggest hater.”

🌺 it seemed like the internet suddenly remembered your past content and the pretty public beef between you and Chris.

🌺 people started to edit you two together to that audio.

🌺 even worse ship you, and say shit like “enemies to lovers”, “they’re just in denial” and whatnot.

🌺 after months of radio silence Chris reached out to you again telling you he’d be home for Mother’s Day and that you two would need to talk.

🌺 you left him on read, but when he showed up at your house at the time and date he’d told you, you opened the door and let him in.

🌺 this time he wasn’t there to fuck tho.

🌺 he’d noticed what your favorite flowers were back in high school. And after all you’d even gotten the flower tattooed.

🌺 he got you your favorite flowers.

🌺 you looked at him all confused.

🌺 and suddenly he was confessing to you.

🌺 your jaw dropped. After all you’d realized you were in love in those months of radio silence between meet ups, but you didn’t think it was mutual.

🌺 “if i actually hated you, we wouldn’t have ever hooked up”

🌺 in the end he took you on a few dates.

🌺 you flew out to LA just for shits and giggles, and rented your own apartment there.

🌺 you and Chris made it official and finally told his brother that you’d been fucking since junior year.

(Literally almost the plot of enemies (with benefits))

Matt sturniolo

🌺 first off, I feel like it’d be really hard to even get Matt to hate you.

🌺 so I feel like you were either childhood friends and have always hated each other, or you’re an influencer he met at a party.

🌺 in the secound option, he’d probably think you’re really fake and feel awkward or uncomfortable around you.

🌺 but somehow you get really close to Matt’s brothers Nick and Chris, and with you being around all the time he starts to develop this hatred to you.

🌺 weather that be because he hates the way you act, or because he’s trying to suppress his feelings.

🌺 anyhow, he goes on to pine for you for so long.

🌺 and Nick and Chris can tell, so they hype him up to tell you that he likes you wich he ends up doing.

🌺that or like I said you’ve known each other for long. In wich case Matt’s been hating you since forever.

🌺 he doesn’t even know why it started, he just hates you.

🌺 he also doesn’t go flaunting around that he hates you like Chris would, only your inner circle and friends know you hate each other.

🌺 despite not saying it out loud, your hatred for each other is intense.

🌺 you could barely stand being next to each other.

🌺 tho all the mean comments that were made were made in your mind, you barely ever said anything out loud.

🌺 when you two did get into a fight it would be a yelling match. Because you may be physically smaller than him, and he could probably (definitely), pick you up and throw you around if he wanted to.

🌺 you could yell and you could yell loud.

🌺 your comments are creative, mainly from how much you hung out with Nick.

🌺 also, your hatred for each other didn’t dim down your friendship with Nick or Chris, mainly because you are so quiet about your hatred.

🌺 usually you’d win the argument just because you had a retort for practically everything Matt could say.

🌺 you had to do everything together, because of how close your families are.

🌺 so all three of your would go to the gym together, or to parties, and school, and whatnot. You shared plenty of classes with Matt too.

🌺 you’d watch each other closely. Not to admire, but to criticize the other in your head and figure out small weaknesses about the other to used in future outbursts.

🌺 over time tho that started to change. You’d notice all the small stuff about each other.

🌺 Matt started to unintentionally do stuff to make your day to day life easier.

🌺 he’d find random reasons to take AUX from Chris and give it to Nick instead. All because nicks music taste is closer to yours

🌺 or when he was cut if fruit for himself and you were home he’d leave some cut on the counter for whoever would take them, hoping it’d be you.

🌺 he noticed what brand of lipgloss you use and got it and put it in his car where you usually sit on your way to school, because the knows you tend to forget your stuff and get all upset.

🌺 you don’t notice any of this tho. Especially the lipgloss one. You just assume that you forgot the lipgloss in the car the day before and don’t think anything of it.

🌺 you, or well your parents would buy soda. You had always made it a point to never get root beer. But recently you’d gotten a few cans and put them in the fridge. You don’t even like root beer that much.

🌺 your brother doesn’t mind them tho. So sometimes he’d drink them, and you just told yourself you were getting them for your brother and definetly not for Matt.

🌺 in the fridge you always had coke cherry, Pepsi, and Fanta, but now also root beer.

🌺 you started to be able to read Matt like a book. Well you could before too, but before you only cared about what he was possibly judging you for, now you noticed everything.

🌺 one day you were in your shared class with Matt. You’d noticed that he was tense all day. Suddenly he ended up getting up taking his stuff and storming about of the classroom.

🌺 you were shocked at first. Matt was never confident enough to just leave like that, right?

🌺 you had a gut feeling that submerging was definitely wrong, so you packed up and followed him. Something that you wouldn’t have done a few months ago.

🌺 he was standing at the front door to the school. You rushed up to him to see him crying and hyperventilating.

🌺 you guided him outside to his car. You put him in the passenger seat. And since you can drive you drove to a parking lot down the road from your school.

🌺 that was the first time you weren’t internally mocking him. You felt empathic and sorry for him.

🌺 the line between hatred and love was always thin, but it started to blur more and more as the days passed.

🌺 when the triplets started to gain fame on YouTube, and were planning on moving to LA, Nick asked you to move with them.

🌺 since you’re childhood best friends Chris and Nick ‘wouldn’t know what to do without you’. (You just know how to cook and they wanted you there as their personal chef 💀)

🌺 since you weren’t going to collage anyway and still had you side job from back in high school, you quit.

🌺 you started to post more on TikTok and gained a following.

🌺 if you told freshmen you that you’d live in the same house as Matt in the future she’d laugh in your face.

🌺 it wasn’t clear when your dynamic had shifted fully, but once it had it was almost like you were dating.

🌺 if Matt was sitting on the couch watching a movie and you wanted to watch they movie too, you’d sit close to him and cuddle.

🌺 if you were making a snack , you were making two. One for Matt, one for you. If Matt didn’t want it, anyone could have it for.

🌺 if Matt went grocery shopping with one of his brother she made sure to get your favorite soda, and also the to follow the list of things you need home that you’d sent him.

🌺 the fans thought you were dating. But not for no reason either. There were plenty of reasons.

🌺 when Matt, Nick and Chris got their nails down for the first time, Matt got the same color as you.

🌺 if you were bored he’d let you paint his nails, or you’d cuddle or you could play with his hair.

🌺 at that point Chris and Nick were convinced that you’d gotten over your hatred, or that you’ve always had loved each other and were finally dating.

🌺 but you weren’t. And when Nick asked Matt about it he tried to deny it.

🌺 yet now the idea was in his mind, and sure enough he got you your favorite flowers and finally asked you out.

Nick sturniolo

🌺 when Nick hates you, he hates you with a passion. He’s a born hater after all.

🌺 but then again he hates you so much that he would like to avoid anything and everything that has to do with you.

🌺 you guys share one class, and he skipped that class so many times until his brother started to force him to go

🌺 you’re on the same lacrosse team as his brothers. So Nick would have to decide between not going and avoiding you, or going and supporting it brothers.

🌺 his brothers would always get a mouthful before and or after the game.

🌺 because you are a lacrosse jock Nick thought you were straight. After all you had girls swooning all over you all the time.

🌺 and Nick, up until sophomore year, had so much internalized homophobia in him.

🌺 you didn’t really come out either, but when Nick came out you heard through the grape vine.

🌺 while Nick was all for hating you it was almost one sided.

🌺 you two would rarely get into arguments, because of how little you talk, but when you did it was mainly just nicks angry ranting.

🌺 you wouldn’t reply. Because Nick has a way with words. He’d find a way to twist and turn your words in a way to make an even worse arguments and you didn’t want to fuel the fire.

🌺 once Nick came out he realized just how attractive he thought you were.

🌺 on your lacrosse games he wasn’t even watching his brother, just you.

🌺 your parents weren’t homophobic, but because of how jocky you are they didn’t think that you were gay.

🌺 you first came out to Matt and Chris, just because they’re one of your closest friends, and Nick is gay, so they should accept it right?

🌺 they took it great, and you got the confidence to come out to your parents too.

🌺 Chris and Matt had promised they wouldn’t tell anyone. And they stood with that they hadn’t even told Nick.

🌺 one day you were having yet another argument with Nick, but this time instead of letting his mouth run like you usually would, you pressed your lips in his.

🌺 you didn’t even know if Nick was into you like that. You just needed him to shut up for once.

🌺 Nick kissed back, wich was a whole surprise on its own.

🌺 you ended up telling Nick that he needs to shut the fuck up, and use that mouth for something good.

🌺 that was the first time Nick sucked dick.

🌺 you had gotten head from some random girl before, wich made you realize just how little you were into woman.

🌺 yet when Nick did it, it just turned you on so much.

🌺 after that the next week Nick avoided you even harder. No backhanded comments, not glares from across the room. nothing.

🌺 you went to nicks house, knocking on the door you prayed it’d be Nick that answered.

🌺 he did, and he almost shut the door into your face too embarrassed to even meet your eyes.

🌺 but you grabbed the door and pushed it back open, inviting yourself in.

🌺 “Nick, we should talk.” “No.”

🌺 Nick is stubborn when he wants to be. And he will ignore everything and anything in his way.

🌺 “please just listen” “what the fuck is there to talk about? I didn’t even fucking know you were gay until I was sucking your dick!”

🌺 just when you were about to respond you saw Matt and Chris out of the corner of your eyes.

🌺 your eyes widened and you groaned loudly. You rubbed your face. He just couldn’t have said that louder.

🌺 Nick was embarrassed too when he saw his brothers behind him.

🌺 he ended up pulling you to his bedroom where you finally talked things out.

🌺 Nick was dead set on not officially dating you until you’d taken him out on a date and properly asked him.

🌺 wich is just what you did.

Masterlist

A/N: Never written hcs before, but this was rlly fun to write, so if you guys got any idea that’s with either of the three, or all three, I wouldn’t mind writing it. Req & asks open <3

‼️please don’t copy my work/idea‼️

Taglist: @muwapsturniolo , @sturnad , @iluvm4ttsturni0l0 , @evie-sturns , @me09love , @fratbrochrisgf , @spideylovin , @chrissgirlsstuff , @stunza , @whicked-hazlatwhore , @sturniooolos , @ecliphttlunar , @orangeypepsi , @klaus223492 , @char112244 , @sst7niolo , @slut4chriss , @mattsturniololoverr , @th3-3d3n-g4rd3n , @st7rnioioss , @t1llysblogs , @nonat-111 , @blahbel668 , @rockstarchr1s , @sturnsintrouble , @nayveetbhh , @tillies33ssss , @sturncakez , @strnilo , @somegirlfromasgard , @mattslovelygf , @sturnsmaeve , @sturnstvr , @lucianastrun , @jnkvivi , @jamiesturniolo , @chr1sgirl4life , @h3arts4harry , @whosthislyssbitch , @jamiesturniolo , @sturniololover-09 , @zayyluvz , @sturnzsblog , @jetaimevous , @imwetforyourmom , @yoongslvr69

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SMG4: WOTFI 2024 Thoughts and Analysis Masterpost

WOTFI 2024 is finally here and I had so much fun watching it! I've even watched it a few times already!! I'm so glad this was my first ever live WOTFI, it makes me wish I knew of SMG4 earlier but alas! I'm still so happy I found SMG4 and it's wonderful community the way I did!

This is one large compilation of all my reactions, opinions and deeper analysis... -es on WOTFI 2024! I will go over the entirety of the video almost scene-to-scene with my OWN OPINIONS! (And yes, it gets hella long) I divided it into sections of the video and even included pictures for viewing convenience!

Hope you enjoy reading essays <33

Warning: Spoilers (duh).

✧ Before The Show

As said before this was my first live WOTFI, since the episodes release at 9AM for me I had to put on my alarm one hour before but I shut it off fhjkdsa

So you can imagine my panic when I had to make my breakfast 10 minutes before it started

Not my greatest planning but I managed to (somewhat) make it on time!

✧ Let's Jump Right In!!

WHUH HAPPEN

Loved the spin off of Mr Puzzles' jingle, I knew I was going to get it stuck in my head the moment the lyrics switched

I was amused when Puzzles re-enacted his life, thought he'd give a little more meat to work with but I'm glad he just explained what we already knew. Some of his charm lies in the mystery that is his life

"So I did what any ambitious, misunderstood young soul would do... I locked myself in my room and watched TV all day!" So real tho-

I'm surprised I didn't see many people react to Puzzles cursing so loud hfdskja maybe we're all busy with the rest of WOTFI but I SCREAMED when he went "-WERE VIOLENTLY FUCKING CRUSHED BY YOU LOT!!"

LET THAT MAN CUSS FREELY!!!!

"... yyyou!" <3

LOVE EVERYONE'S COSTUMES TOO!! They all look great!!

Maybe it's because of the teasers they gave but I thought the crew was going to go against Puzzles himself with the challenges, but pitting them against Mario and SMG4 made me pleasantly surprised (I will be a lot throughout all this!)

I ADORE THIS INTRO SO MUCH!! It's so fun and vibrant and the way it was animated was so cool!! I WANT THE POSTER SO BAD!!!

Haeheh big Puzzles from the website!!

Love how Saiko is just screaming at Puzzles too fhdskja

✧ Fun Carnival Torture Metho- Games!!

I didn't say what my challenge was but it was called Chuck N' Dunk: Who can dunk the other first in shark-infested waters?

It didn't make it but I do see shark-infested waters, so either I gave a bit of inspo or I'm just delusional hfdsjka

"I have to deal with internet comments all day! This is nothing!" HAH!!! THAT'S MY FUCKING YOUTUBER RIGHT THERE!!! (He still lost)

Love to see SMG3 and Puzzles appreciate the beauty of destruction together, gotta love two villains vibin over causing chaos, it'd make for a fun dynamic if SMG4 ever considers it

On that note, when SMG3 tries to shake Four's tight rope I knew that was Three straight up

Even under Puzzles' control, the cast still retains a bit of their personality, as shown here and in the Puzzlevision episodes

Bob has like- the coolest costume ever holy shit- I really wanna draw it some time

I KNOW IT'S JUST A MASK AND SOME RECOLORING ALRIGHT IT JUST FITS HIM AND HE LOOKS COOL

I LOVE HIM SO. FUCKING. MUCH. HE'S SO SMUG THE BASTARD

This is a really funny joke actually

PIE GUN GO BRRRRRRRRRRRR

I liked seeing Karen included in this WOTFI, she was a main character in a few episodes and her dynamic works well with the others! Just a tired mom wanting to work but pulled along silly adventures, grounding in a badass caring way

CHANGE THE WORLD. MY FINAL MESSAGE. GOODBYE!! God I haven't heard that meme in so long

Plus [Italian vc] YOU SONSOFFA BITCHES

"Hope you two have your running shoes on!" said in the gayest villain voice ever, I love him your honor

Bob going for the clown girl instead of the exit is the Bob-iest thing ever and it just drives my point of the crew retaining their personalities even under control, so people shouldn't be surprised when it happens fhdjksa (cus I've seen it!)

FOUR ONLY WINNING BECAUSE HE'S A CLOWN IS SO FUNNY YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND

So... Ben (SMG4's Thumbnail Artist) posted a lot of Gokus when someone mentioned Metallica's For Whom The Bell Tolls

That's why I thought there'd be some kind of reference to it in WOTFI which... now that I say it out loud sounds kinda dumb hfsjdka

But the moment Mario appeared as Goku I immediately thought of Ben and it had me gigglin fhdsjka

You'd think Tari would be in the ducky mini-game but you'd be wrong! <3

Final thoughts of the games, this year's WOTFI challenges were delightful!! They were all very clever from the audience and well chosen from the crew! Congratulations to the folks that got their prompt in!

✧ WHACK-A-LEGGY (aka forgive me father for this next part)

You........ CANNOT tell me he wouldn't treat you right- God- DAMN.

LISTEN. HEAR ME OUT. YES I'M GONNA BE SIMPY IN THIS REACTION POST FUCK YOU.

Puzzles is the type of guy to give you the best of the best simply because you say so and deserve it, doesn't matter if it's as tame as a big bouquet of flowers OR as extreme as absolutely destroying your enemies through the most painful torture you have ever witnessed

He would treat you RIGHT!!!!

THAT IS THE MOST PERFECT MAN RIGHT THERE

Oh yes and I love his interactions with Leggy, they're adorable, yes FHDSKJA

THEY MAKE A CUTE DUO

Speaking of Puzzles treating you right: I am on the FUCKING FLOOR. THAT MAN IS PROTECTIVE TOO.

It's just so endearing to me how protective he is of Leggy (yes yes I know I know he's done evil shit to Meggy I know) BUT LISTEN.

In an actual redemption arc, I can see Puzzles as the most loyal motherfucker that you've ever befriended, that man is going to go to the edge of the earth and fight for you if needed BECAUSE you're his friend and that is so lovely to me

It's cute how he's trying to tell Leggy where to go, where to hide and just how worried he is of her

Mind you, the contrast between Puzzles being worried and SMG4 and Mario wanting to curve-stomp that goomba to death is hilarious fhdsjka

So forgive me if I giggle like a schoolgirl over that man

✧ I'm Gonna Get Real With You For A Moment

MR STINKY

Oh this scene now- lots to unpack

First: Adore how this scene plays out, I love the portrayal of Puzzles' meltdown, induced by grief, sadness, anger and frustration over how things are playing out. It's a big "I'm supposed to win! Why don't you let me win!" moment, I simply adore when those happen.

The pitiful cries when you don't get your way when you've meticulously planned everything and done Everything to get it, and do everything did Puzzles indeed try

Second: The colors, the dramatic red light, the destruction of the park out of anger and overcharging it seems

It's basically a tantrum

Third: The voice acting is phenomenal, and that's been said all throughout the Puzzlevision arc, Brendan (Mr Puzzles' voice actor) is so good at his job- he's perfect in those high pitch inflictions of emotion and the lower threatening tones, that scream is chilling and painful

Fourth: I can try and decipher that blue screen

FATAL ERROR A problem has been detected and Mr. Puzzles has been shut down to prevent damage to himself. PUZZLEVISION.EXE Check to make sure any new show or movie is properly installed. If this is a new installation :It's not: ask your hardware or software manufacturer for any PUZZLEVISION updates you might need. :I don't need any: If problems continue, disable or remove any newly installed hardware or software. Disable CPU(?) memory options such as Unused Shows or Movies. If you need to use safe mode :I don't: to remove or disable components, restart yourself, press :nuhuh: to select Advanced Startup Options, and then select Safe Mode. :NO: Technical Information: *** STOP: 2xREADING (... xACTUALLY)

That last line is ineligible to me but I tried my best for y'all <3

Lots to unpack just in this tiny little message

In his system, Puzzles is programmed to shut down if damaged. Which is CRAZY TO THINK ABOUT. His OWN SYSTEM shuts down to prevent damage to himself.

Also he's SPEAKING THROUGH THE BLUESCREEN, he's actively saying No to "Safe Mode" and REFUSING any repairs his system suggests

THIS MAN DOES NOT CARE FOR HIS BODY (if you couldn't tell by the TV head part)

AND HE'S SO UNSERIOUS HE STRAIGHT UP TELLS HIS SYSTEM NUH UH!!!!

A little easter egg that someone else on Twitter found :)

Puzzles has become a rage horror monster and I'm here for it, the horror elements do go hard when they're played

URGH. AND THIS MOMENT. Many have pointed it out by now BUT THE TRAUMA OF THE CASTLE!! I AM SO WEAK

Puzzles REALLY plays into those psychological torture methods, it is so RUTHLESS of him, intentionally or not!!

✧ STEP RIGHT UP, MY FRIENDS, TO PUZZLEPARK!

He looks horrible in armor despite being everyone's pathetic knight in shining armor FHJDSKA

"You're MINE" I SURE AM SIR!!!

THAT GROWL THO- BRENDAN STRIKING AGAIN WITH THEM VOCALS!!!

AND THIS!! IS THE MOMENT WE'VE ALL BEEN WAITING FOR OH BOY!!

The transition into the actual song is SO GOOD, instead of going higher like the actual Disney intro it goes LOWER and it's PERFECT for the intro!! It makes Puzzles sound INSANE (RIGHTFULLY SO!) It also tricks you because you know the melody so well until UH OH!! WE'RE IN DEEP SHIT!! LET'S GET THE FUCK IN!

3!

2!

1!

IMMEDIATELY threateningly playful I LOVE IT!!

It sounds so much like the songs in Nightmare Before Christmas, Kidnap Sandy Claws, Oogie Boogie's song, it has their same vibes! The same devilishly playful with their victims kind of vibes and it's RIGHT UP MY ALLEY BABY

It has SUCH an energizing beat too!! It makes you wanna jump in your seat to the beat!

The set up is so fun too, purple is an interesting choice to go with.

I cannot stress enough how GOOD THE VOCALS ARE TOO I WAS ON THE EDGE OF MY SEAT

AND THIS PART. GOES EXTREMELY HARD. THEY ALL LOOK GREAT

They cooked with the choir of minions fr!! They sound great together!!

The chorus of the song is just as catchy as Creative Control, I had worries that I wasn't going to like this one as much as CC but I was SO wrong!! It's right up it's alley! They both have their strengths and their unique way of presenting Mr Puzzles, I wouldn't be able to decide which one is "better" since they both have different points to send across

Creative Control is jazzier, it taunts the crew and introduces Puzzles as the master villain with a bit of backstory, it's used to show the control on the crew both visually and lyrically with Puzzles putting them in different scenarios while singing how they can't leave

Meanwhile Puzzlepark, while similar in the controlling part, has more going on. It's not just Puzzles trying to control/stop Meggy, SMG4 and Mario, it's also them fighting back when they couldn't in CC. It also has the rest of the group trying to detain them, mind-controlled by Puzzles. It's crazier than just putting them in shows and popular culture references, it's throwing things at them, attacking them and messing with the world, trying to enact revenge yknow!

I particularly like when Meggy and Puzzles sing together, their voices contrast well

"But it's time for you to die now." Haehah! Hello!! This is the part where I kill you!!

AND A LAWSUIT ARC REFERENCE TOO!? OH I'M IN HEAVEN!!!

The lyrics scratch at a very nice part of my brain, I think SMG4 has always had a knack for rhyming, they've perfected it over the years and it's paid off well

And combined with the change in beat it goes for extra points, mwah!! Chef's kiss!!

"That child is gone... Six feet under right WHERE YOU AND YOUR STUPID FRIENDS BELONG!!"

MY ABSOLUTE FAVORITE PART FUCKING EVER!!!! THEY ABSOLUTELY COOKED

IT'S ABOUT HOW THREATENING PUZZLES IS IT'S ABOUT MEGGY STILL TRYING TO HELP HIM DESPITE IT ALL IT'S ABOUT HIM ABSOLUTELY REFUSING THE HELP BECAUSE THAT'S. JUST. HIM. PUZZLES. REFUSES. HELP. THINGS go his way or they don't go at all!!!

AND THAT ENDING NOTE MYYYY GODDDD GIVE THIS MAN AN EMMY RIGHT ABOUT FUCKING NOW!!!!

That was such a clean note, Brendan has an amazing singing voice and I'll be listening to this on repeat for A WEEK

SMG4 RELEASE PUZZLEPARK ON SPOTIFY NOW AND MY LIFE!!! IS YOURS!!!!

✧ In The End... It's For The Better...

They like using the trope of going inside a character's brain/heart/whatever to talk to them huh...

I'm not saying it as a bad thing! It's just a pattern I'm sure we've all noticed! I think it's cute!

SMG4 wouldn't be SMG4 if they at least didn't Try to save their villains, sure there's distasteful ones like that lizard that absolutely deserved it, but all the other villains had redemption arcs, heart to hearts, sympathy before dying... SMG4 is about chances, finding your people and having a heart even towards those who wronged you, even if in the end the worst happens to them

And I think that's beautiful

Regardless of having a heart, however, Meggy has the absolute right to be angry at Puzzles, maybe it wasn't right but I don't blame her for snapping at a kid, that kid Is Puzzles after all

I see two possible interpretations of Meggy becoming Leggy one more time: either- Truly to get close to Puzzles and become a true friend, or simple manipulation to get him to stop. Either are possible in my book, maybe with a little more thought I'd be able to know which one but for now I remain satisfied with being skeptical on this one, I don't care to find what the real intentions were since I know the ending.

Plus nothing is in black and white, there's a lot of layers to Puzzles' and Meggy's relationship........

And speaking of that ending-

HAH!!!!

I THOUGHT THAT SHIT WAS HILARIOUS!!

IN TRUE SMG4 FASHION YOU (SORTA) REDEEM A VILLAIN AND CELEBRATE SAVING THE DAY WITH A STUPID MEME

WHAT ARE YOU GONNA DO FOLKS IT'S SMG4 IT'S THE FUNNY HAHA MEME SHOW!!

STOP TAKING IT SO FUCKING SERIOUSLY THE WHOLE TIME!!

IT CAN BE SERIOUS AND STUPID!!!!

Mr Puzzles SHOULD go to the psych ward, HE'S FUCKING INSANE

YOU DON'T GET REDEEMED IMMEDIATELY AFTER ALL THAT!!

I'm glad they didn't redeem him completely! I didn't believe him at all when he said he learned a valuable lesson! I was like No The Fuck You Didn't!

You can have a redemption later! That's okay! I trust the writers with handling the arcs and making them good! And you heard Luke, they might bring him back later! (Which is a definite yes!)

I would love for them to take it slow with Puzzles, not immediately of course, let him breathe and write another arc right now, settle things with everything and everyone and THEN you can break him out, the universe is full of possibilities, and I'm SURE I will enjoy whatever the SMG4 crew writes

Haeheh she looks like a nerd with those goggles

Someone's Artist Puzzles AU just came true btw-

"And Didney shut down..!" :D

The Showgrounds is gonna start looking more like an actual carnival too!! Wahoo!!

I WANT THAT FUCKING HOODIE-

That Puzzle plushie looks so ugly I LOVE HIMMMM

I WANT THAT FUCKING POSTER AND KEYCHAIN

SOMEONE PLEASE FUCKING COMMISSION ME SO I CAN BUY THEMMMMMM AEUGHHHHHH

Thank YOU LUKE AND SMG4 CREW FOR GIVING US THIS WOTFI!!! I LOVED IT WITH ALL MY HEART <33

I would love to hang out and go get some pizza with Mr Puzzles :(

And finally... that lil jingle to end with the rolling credits

✧ Final Thoughts

Believe me when I say I think this is the best possible ending for Puzzles, he doesn't die, he doesn't get completely redeemed, but he does face consequences and he gets a chance for the future, best of both worlds me thinks

I loved this rollercoaster that was Puzzlevision, I might've hopped on the train sorta late but I stayed for all the duration of the ride and I had a blast <3

Mr Puzzles was great and maliciously loveable, learning about all these characters and growing to care about them was amazing, I'm really happy I have a new series I can watch and analyze and enjoy!! I'll be remaining in my seat with my one ticket until I get off the SMG4 train, not sure when!! But until then you can expect me to still love this show, draw for it and analyze it much more than any reasonably normal person should.

If you've read this far, I love you soso much and hope you enjoyed this hell of a scroll, because I spent so many hours on this shit YOU WOULDN'T UNDERSTAND-

K BYEEEE <333

[purrplegyuu]

How about maknae line of treasure favorite place to cum??

Soooo this is a request that’s been on my asks for a long time now, so sorry guys hehe, ive been too busy 😭 but here it is.

Doyoung is one of the finest gentlemen ever. This man not only calls you a princess —his princess— but also treats you like one. Thus, wouldn’t do ANYTHING you don’t ask for (ehem ehem, maybe he’s a lil turned on by begging ehem ehem), so his favorite place to cum is actually the one you ask for. Be it your breasts, your abdomen, your thighs, your cunt, basically anything but your face. This man loves to see your face, and whatever tries to hide it from him is his biggest enemy.

Haruto… I’ve seen people saying “he’s such a dom” and oh so experienced but man, I CANT GET OUT OF MY HEAD THE THOUGHT OF HIM BEING A LIL INEXPERIENCED. You get it? Like, whenever he’s fucking you, he cannot think of a place to come, it just happens… so you would believe it’s your cunt. HOWEVER, as he starts to get experience, he discovers the pleasure of coming on your breasts, not only because of how pretty your small boobs looked showered on his semen, but because every time he does, you end up taking the sperm with your fingertips and sallowing it all.

I already said it before, but Jeongwoo is pretty shy and introvert. That’s why he doesn’t get freaky until he fully trusts you. And once he does… man, he frees himself up. So even tho if you ask whim not to cum inside because he’s not wearing a condom. You’d listen to him saying “‘m sorry babe” once and over again as you beg him not to, but he can’t just stop now that it feels fantastic. Then, expect him to feel guilty and apologize again after he cums. (Creampie king)

Finally, Junghwan (i fear i might end up writing too much about him now, sorry). As I said before, he loves your thighs a lot, and he thinks it would be simply the best place to cum. And I have ti let you know this one thing: as some of you already know, i like hentai hehe, so i saw this video in which the guy takes his partner’s legs and folds her in half to fuck her like a fuck toy, and once he’s in the brim of cumming, he does it on all over your thighs.

Hope you guys liked it, remember my asks are always open (even tho sometimes i take ages to answer them hehe). Luv yall lots🫶❤️

[puffyducks]

Puffy's Really Comprehensive and Cool Review of PK Out of the Shadows for the PS2 (not emulated guys I didn't emulate it I bought a really legal copy for my PlayStation 2 console that I own)

Ok guys I just did a really epic playthrough of the Paperinik video game (that was streamed on Discord thank you to everyone who watched me scream and struggle for like 6 hours) and I'm here to give a review for the other PK fans or perhaps even people who really like playing old niche PS2 games for some reason (get a better hobby)

First of all this game gets a 10/10 rating from me because this game has Paperinik in it and there are no other games with Paperinik in them.

Paperinik's English name is "the Duck Avenger" but I guess there was too much PK logo branding in this game for them to bother to change it so they kept his name as just PK and tried to explain it by saying it stood for "really cool duck" or something in Latin. Which I'm pretty sure was just a fucking lie.

I'm really happy that Uno was there, I love him and he's my best friend even tho he was FUCKING USELESS like this whole game. Sorry he just kinda grabs Donald, turns him into a superhero, then throws him into an Evronian base with 0 explanation and is like "go kill" and like who am I to say no to the giant floating orb?? Like he gave me a gun which is really nice but I'm out here getting fucking jumped by the Evronian empire and Uno isn't even there to cheer me on or NOTHING. He only occasionally shows up to explain when you get a weapon upgrade like FUCKING DO SOMETHING UNO THEY'RE BEATING MY ASSSSS

The little collectibles are just tiny floating Uno heads so that also gets a 10/10 from me I really enjoyed running around and collecting my army of Uno PNGs. The SECOND collectible however- Ok so there are like these scientists that are tied up by the Evronians and you're supposed to save them right? Well for whatever reason (they don't really explain why this is happening) every time you get close to a scientist it starts a big menacing countdown in the corner and you're supposed to save them before the timer goes down or else THEY JUST FUCKING DIE?? I THINK?? LIKE I SAID THEY DON'T EXPLAIN IT SO I CAN'T REALLY TELL WHAT'S HAPPENING, BUT IF THE TIMER GOES DOWN AND YOU REACH THEM TOO LATE THERE'S JUST LIKE A PILE LEFT BEHIND FROM WHERE THEY USED TO BE, I THINK THEY GET FUCKING VAPORIZED OR SOMETHING? AND LIKE I WAS REALLY BAD AT SAVING THEM BECAUSE I GET REALLY STRESSED WHEN THE TIMER STARTS. I HAVE SO MUCH BLOOD ON MY HANDS. anyways.

I like totally didn't get stuck on the same section for 10 minutes because I kept comedically sliding PK directly into a big pool of evil pink goo. Like evil Evron goo I guess, don't remember THAT from the comics. If you so much as touch it with your little pinkie toe he dies instantly, it's very troubling. Like I said um that didn't happen to me though because I'm really good at video games. Idk if you knew I'm level 102 on Wizard101 which is like pretty high. Like it's not max level I'm pretty sure max level is like 180 right now but it's still cool I'm still cool and also really good at video games.

Oh yeah also something that was really amusing to me is the way that PK is just fucking Stanced Up the entire game. Like he's always kinda menacingly crouching and shuffling around everywhere he goes like a little superhero cockroach. Love him.

Can't believe I haven't mentioned this sooner but for the English dub of this game (which is what I was using because I am, in fact, an English speaker) they made the huge brained decision to get Rob Paulsen to do Donald's "superhero" voice. Rob Paulsen of course from Yakko Warner fame... and Steelbeak 1991. Donald sounds goofy as shit the whole game it lowkey kills me. I guess they assumed people wouldn't wanna sit through his regular scratchy voice for however many hours of gameplay but trust me, I would WAY prefer regular Donald over the weird 90s protagonist Crash Bandicoot wannabe thing he has going on. Uno sounds great tho, zero complaints.

At one point PK walks out of the level and he's like "haha who knew this superhero stuff would be so easy!" and I took that as a deep and personal insult. That was not easy Donald I was fighting for my fucking life in there. You have like 13 bullet wounds and I dropped you into Evron goop like 6 different times. Stop making me look bad.

I got stuck standing around like a fucking idiot for 10 minutes because I got an upgrade for the X-transformer and Uno was like "you see that hole? Go over and press □ to send the X-transformer through it!" and I was like oh ok. Except there was no hole I couldn't find the hole. I was only able to progress past this part because I pulled up a youtube video of someone else playing the game, and the guy in the video ALSO proceeded to get stuck in the same spot before realizing you have to backtrack to find the hole like 15 feet away from where Uno gave you the instructions. I can't tell if it's bad game design or if I'm just stupid.

I'm ngl I got to the end and heard Zondag start talking and he lowkey sounds hot as fuck. I mean WOAH that's crazy who said that??? (he's also British for some reason)

Wrapping up my final thoughts with some simple questions:

Does this game have Paperinik in it?

Yes.

Is it a good game?

No.

What's the best part about the game?

Uno is in it.

What's the worst part about the game?

Everything else.

Would you have been able to beat this as a child?

Absolutely not.

Why did they think it would be a good idea to get Rob Paulsen to do the voice of PK for the majority of the game?

Hell if I know???

Would you recommend this game to other people?

Probably not.

It took me a total of 6-ish hours to beat the game (it can be beaten in like 2 hours I'm just slow) but in that amount of time you could read PKNA chapter #34 "Nothing Personal" like 6 times which I think would be a way better experience.

Anyways like I said 10/10, would maybe think about playing again. On like a really depressing rainy day where I have literally nothing else to do.

[shinakazami1]

Transcript of IGN Handsome Jack QnA

This thing doesn't have the whole text but - questions and some of my fav Meg-Jack interactions :^] I tried to write their speech patterns as close as possible

Transcript under the cut:

0:30: Question: Is Buttstallion the best horse ever Jack : Well it’s my horse. That I made her ( <- FACT CHECK: he bought her) out-out of diamonds, so…

0:45 Q: What it’s like wearing a face (mask - though in video it's funnily shown) J: It’s not a mask, it’s a freaking face! Do people think I’m wearing a freaking mask on my face? MEG!! I’m kidding. You’re cute tho. You know what it’s like—do you ever put a onesie on right out of the dryer? (whisper) it’s like that. (normal volume) It’s cosy. It just feels right. And a cool thing about wearing a face is – you can swap them out with however many people you kill in course of an afternoon or a week or whatever. You get off that face – you put on another one! (laughs mid-sentence) It’s fantastic. I can look at whoever. I could look like you Meg if I wanted to. I might later. Wear your face.

1:43 Q: Boxers or briefs? J: Commando!

1:50 Q: What dead celebrity would you bring back? J: Tom Cruise. (learning he is still alive) He’s not dead. Oh. Well-well let’s kill him and then I can bring him back to life or whatever.

2:10 -2:52 (Off top) J: Where did you get these pretzels Meg: From the Hyperion vending machine J: They’re delicious. (long silence) They’re good. (longer) I promise someone will clean it up – my God that’s what happens If you drink beer at lunch, people!

(….) J: Pandorian, people are dumb but loyal. M: I’m loyal sir. I’m very, very very- J: Nah, so much of this. M: Oh yes, sir.

2:15 (Answer 3:25) Q: Do people recognise your voice in public? J: I’m all over the fucking place. I’m in megaphones, I’m in-in like convenience store, vending machines so—yeah. Yeah uh, I have to say. Yeah.

3:48 Q: Favourite type of weapon? J: What do you think, Meg? M: Uhh-anything that kills, sir. J: Well, I would say Hyperion would be a good start, wouldn’t you. M: (louder, nervously) That would be a very good start. J: There you go. Smart… uh. (Awkward horrible silence he prob wanted to say ‘smart girl’ and im glad he didn’t say it cus Jesus Christ man how much cringe can you spout out of your mouth). Anything made by Hyperion and anything that and anything that inflicts, like you said. Fairness to you. The most damage possible.

4:09 Q: (person wanted a greeting for her cat Tunses) J: Hey Tunses.

4:30 Q: Which Vault Hunter do you hate the least and which the most? J: I try not to play favourites. I hate them all the same. M: They’re all pretty terribl- J: (growling) They’re all equally hateable. M: They’re all pretty terrible. (you go girl say your lines) J: Each and every one of them. M: They all want to kill you, sir. J: God I hate them so much.

(Off top) J: (soft laugh) I enjoy your company M: You would make a great voice actor, sir. J: You know I’ve heard that! Yeah yeah yeah – people tell me sh# t all the time. You know. Like : , uh- I (chuckles) get that you, babe- M: You can cook, sir?! J: I- uh, um, I, uh – yeah. I'm really quite handy in the kitchen. M: Yeah? J: Yeah. M: What do you like to make sir. J: I find it- I find it z-zens me out after coming home and washing all the blood out of my clothes.

5:25 Q: Why are you so perfect? J: I don’t know, ask my mom. (pause) You can’t – you can’t because she’s dead, I killed her – but if she was alive, you could ask my mom.

(offtop) J: (playing the game) Where is my oxygen level? M: So, your oxygen level isssss – where the hell is it? J; Come on Meg – I cannot with your (Meg breaks out laughing) you stupid little sh#t like this (they both laugh) and you’re letting me dooown. M: Oh my God I’m the worst!! J: No it’s right over (chin upfront sounding voice idk how else to call him becoming a goblin) it’s right over there, did your little brain fall out of your head, Meg? M: Sorry, should be on your map. J: (genuine soft sounding) Why am I so mean to you? M: I don’t know, sir. J: (still soft, but cool persona) AAA that’s cus of what- that’s what I do.

J: How does Handsome Jack butt slam? M: I think youuuu- J: Anyway he likes (laughs) M: (chuckles) Yes, yes, exactly- J: Joke right there. Welcome

(…) J: That’s what the hip kid say. Instead of , they say (he becomes sonic and laughs like him). Did you know that? M: No, sir J: Yeah. That’s what they do.

(…) M: (after Jack killed a few monsters) Good job! J: Thank you Meg! Thank you for being such a loyal supporter. M: Absolutely sir: J: Really appreciate you, Meg. M: You do sir??? J: Claptrap (HEEEELP THE TIMING??? WHY DOES HE SAY THIS) M: That’s great. Oh- J: I appreciate you Claptrap.

(…) J: Gotta get some things- M: Yes. J: Gotta get some uh- hopefully some grenades. I love- I love the grenades! I got to say, I’m a huge fan (starts chuckling) blowing sh#t up.

7:25 Q: Is Handsome Jack happy? J: (laughs) That’s a great question. It’s deep, isn’t it? Um, there’s a lot of smiling going on here (chuckle) but really, I’m dead inside. It seems like everything I say has just a weird connotation to it. Some kind of inappropriate connotation to it. (sincere) Did you- did you ever noticed that? M: No, sir. J: Good answer! (laughs)

(Offtop) J: Ah for f#ck sake (kills a skag) M: That’s where you’re supposed to go. J: That’s – so I got to go outside. M: Yeah, you have to go outside. J: So you were right. Before. First time for everything, Claptrap. M: Yes. Yes sir. J: Yes siiiir.

(…) M: You’re doing great, sir. J: Atta girl. (pause) I got- I got to stop saying that. (laughs) Okay (nervous chuckles continue) M: And you got another badass rank so you can use that as well. J: Oh, okay – that’s see- now that is some useful information. M: (joyful and surprised) Really?? J: Yeah!

(…) J: (Asks about a game feature. Ben, someone out of the mic, answers before Meg in a monotone voice) Why is Ben so much smarter than you. Ummm- (nervous chuckle turning into silent cry-laugh between Meg and him) M: I’m doing my best sir. J: Ay-ay.

(…) J: What the f that just happened here. That just- I just picked that and now I can-okay. M: You have- you have- you have multiple. So it-do-does it— J: Oh, you’re God, how do you make so much sense when you say things. (…) J: (talking about enemy name pronounciation) Had to do an r-roll with that criiiticic crrrretin (??? im sorry I cant hear it well 9:15 pls help ) M: That’s very – that’s very fancy, sir. J: Mmm. You know what I am? M: What are you? J: I’m so fancy. M: You’re- J: I’m schmancy. (Meg snickers) You cut that one out too, Ben. That was- that was some bullsh#t (laughs) M: You’re so fancy, we already know.

(…) J: (About game dialogue) I don’t know who that is but I find them (emphasis) extrrrRRREMELY annoying. M: Oh they are the Vault Hunters si- J: (immediately) God they’re f#cking annoying, aren’t they. M: They are really, really annoyin- J: I feel like they’re trying too hard, that’s the thing. That’s the thing that’s standing out for me here. M: Yes, I think you should kill them. J: It’s one thing to be naturally funny and then there’s another – it’s another thing to- to be like – you know what I mean like – put yourself out there too much, feel like you’re overcompensating is the world I’m looking for. M: Don’t think you have to worry about that at all. J: (smooth convo swap) You know what I’m liking the most about this game? M: What do you like- J: The lack of Claptrap. M: Oh-uh, well, he is, he’s in here, if you want to- J: Listen, that’s fine – I’m in a good mood run right now, you don’t have to ruin it byyy talking about how I’m going to run into Claptrap. M: (silence) Okay sir. I’ll be quiet, sir. (pause) Yes. (pause) OH!! There’s Claptrap (in-game) Claptrap: HELLOOO- J: Oh you little son of a b#tch. Welcome to the pit of pseudo-solid sorrows, that is some alliteration. That’s a literary term for (long sign) all you people that didn’t finish school. Meg. Arena – of, partially see-through Triumph, the Hippodrome of marginally tangible everything else. (quieter) Do that make any sense to you? M: (joyful) No sir.

(…) Axton (in-game): Is it going to be a LONG story? Gaige (in-game): Yeah, just give us the Bluff’s Notes. J: (Jack is mimicking Axton’s voice) Wait, is it going to be a loooooong story? M: Yeah, they just keep talking- J: Axton is a handsome guy. M: Kinda looks like you sir- J: A little TOO handsome, if you ask me. M: He’s not as handsome as you. J: Well- I mean (chuckles) good luck with that, right. M: I mean, he might sort of be but- J: Oi! (pause) Slow your roll, sister. All right – wait, I was too busy talking, cus I love the sound of my own voice, now the f#ck am I doing? Am I loaded for bear? (Meg is trying to talk) Oh wait- M: I feel you are. No, you’re full (on amo), oh- J: Oh yeah, okay. That’s what she said. (immediately quickly nervously) Joking there. Okay if you want to, TAKE IT MAG feel free take it. M: No, that’s- J: (forceful) TAKE the joke, MAAG. M: I-I- J: Take the joke or you’re fired, Mag – or wait actually – take the joke or I’ll set you on fire, Meg. M: (playful) That’s what she said, yeah? J: God it just-it just sounds so much better coming from you for some reason.

(…) J: I think living on the moon would kind of suck. M: Why? J: I mean uh- I mean if you had to run like this all the time, you’d think it would be more advantageous or better than uhh, running –uh, say with like, uh, gravity? M: (smacks lips) Yeah, but you can do- J: Yeah but gravity Meg, is something it’s-it’s a force of energy that keeps the- it’s the Earth and the moon create, and it keeps things on the… neverm- ff, M: That was a great explanation, sir. J: (defeated) That’s fine. M: I have no idea what the hell you just said. J: (chuckles) It’s really – it was really scientific, wasn’t it? - M: It’s a thing! J: It’s a thing with the… M: I think it’s a good place to wrap this up.

(….) J: You want to do another-another thing? M: Uhh, I don’t, I don’t think we have time to do another thing, sir. J: Is that because I’m so busy and important that I have to go do stuff that is, I have people to do, and places to see- M: You’re- J: Places to see and people- I mean, places to go, people to see, things to do. M: All that. J: Yeah. M: All that more. J: Correct (laugh) Well listen, kids, first of all – you’re welcome, because this has been a real treat. Sorry about- what was your name again? M: Meg. J: Yeah, she tries real hard but uhh- let’s face it. Uhhh I don’t know. We will see. M: Thanks. J: You still might get a retirement package out of this. M: Oh- that’s great. That’s uhh- J: But it’s been a lot of fun, will go to build homeless shelters, and, (pause and rapid speech) dig wells. M: In Africa. J: Yep. M: And by Africa, we mean Africa on Pandora. J: (giggle) Yes.

[sirenlulls]

ARABELLA → e. hewson

pairing — elijah hewson x famous!fem!reader

summary —every popular man needs an even more popular girlfriend and rn that's you babe xx

written for this request

wraps her lips round the mexican coke, makes you wish that you were the bottle

you're such a fan fav.

like whenever you're at inhaler gigs they're almost more excited to take pictures with you than with the band

if you work in the limelight as well (singer, model, actress, etc) his fanbase is your fanbase.

pictures of you and elijah (and just you) are very common profile pics for inhaler twt and tiktok

he's very aware that he's the arm candy in the relationship

he can't complain tho, he gets it

obsessed bf, pretty gf dynamic

goes without saying that you've got more than a few songs written about you

if you're irish (self projecting) you would be freaking out with him and the lads over them playing in slane (and for opening hslot ofc)

in famous!reader headcanons i always see "his insta is a fanpage for you" and i raise you one, your insta is a fanpage for HIM!!

litch whenever an album drops, it's on the story and in a post. they announced tour dates? posted. they're opening for someone? posted. they fall asleep on your couch after a show? posted. you see a cute fan edit? saved, commented, and posted.

you're visibly down bad for him

BUT DONT WORRY hes visibly down bad for you too

if you're a singer, people are getting videos of him with the biggest heart eyes chilling in the vip section

if you're an actress, pictures of him staring at you on the red carpet or during interviews haunt the rockstar gf pinterest girlies

if you're a model you better believe that there has never been a show of yours when everyone can see him smiling in the front row

your little fanboy <3

forehead kisses for the win!!!

AND AND AND!!!!!! a hand on the small of your back at all times

definitely does the thumb thing when you're holding hands

he follows the sidewalk rule like it's a law

tells u abt the time he got abducted by aliens to help u sleep xx

he doesn't really fuck with spooning but will always rest easier if your head is on his chest and his arm is around you

i feel like if you're a very excitable person (self projecting again) he's such a listener

like you could be rambling about the most random thing in the world, and he'll just sit there nodding with a cute little smile on his face

he'd be great to gossip with, i think, but that might just be the irish in him

it's pretty much mandatory that you get on well with the rest of the bad bcs if you're not busy yourself, eli is dragging you on tour with them

if you were in the industry longer than them i feel like you'd all have some really good chats

like giving them advice on how to deal with anxiety and helping them through any doubts or fears they have

they all appreciate having you around even if ye take the piss out of each other 24/7

it's loving banter <3

you'd get mentioned in interviews a few times

never by name tho

because eli's so private and doesn't want to end up with the bands success being attributed to you he'd never be like "oh, y/n said this, y/n said that"

instead he'd be like "oh, yeah my girlfriend's been here before so she's been telling us where to go and all"

if the others ever brought you up it'd be to take the piss out of eli

"yeah his girlfriend had to drag him out the bus this morning" "he wouldn't shut up till we brought his girlfriend over" stuff like that

you and eli would have some proper deep chats i feel

he trusts you so much

each others ride or dies fr

fans hope you get married

he does too

overall, any comment section under a pic of the two of you is filled with people crediting ye for their bisexuality xx