#but got awkward angst!
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My angsty brain: So⌠Callumâs Dad died of some kind lung condition, eh? Sure would be a shame if that was hereditary
#listen I donât write the parallels between Callum and Viren okay#canon does#but ooof#imagine THAT one#Callum and Raylaâs kiddo sick and dying#of a condition Callum is pretty sure he passed on somehow?#it would eat him up inside ok#soooo much angst potential#ok#Iâm going to step away from my keyboard now#tdp#the dragon prince#snake boi callum#tdp spoilers#callum#tdp callum#not tagging ârayllumâ coz weâre doing good#not going to bring us down right now#apart from Katolis being destroyed that is#otherwise good#ignore the last few seconds of canon from the rayllum perspective#so callum doensât know and is just a happy boy#woo got my gf and her awkward semi-nake dad#who killed my dad#but Iâm cool#cool cool coool cool coool cool cool#giveusthesaga
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ummmmmmm guys this dungeons looking a little dark here..........................ummmm..... hello??? guys??
#quirinahdraws#darkest dungeon#darkest dungeon 2#IVE BEEN IN THE TRENCHES SO I NEED 2 POST MY EARLY APRIL DRAWINGS FROM WHEN I WAS (am) PLAYING THIS GAME TERMINALLY....#try to guess my favorite character (very difficult impossible /j)#notable moments include reynauld and dismas kicking the bucket in my first year to which i thought after the latter. ok at least theyre#together in death or watever. anyways i got a beyond the grave a week later with both of them and i could only revive one of them and my#first thought was wow! this would make great angst fodder! i should make a comic (and then i didnt)#but dismas is dead so i can never get the achievement but he basically carried me thru vvulf bc i didnt have any legend lvl frontliners and#i didnt know u could just sacrifice a hero to retreat. or that you had to destroy the bomb barrel HAHAHAHAH but we defeated vvulf SOMEHOW#sketchdump#digital#dd plague doctor#dd jester#dd shieldbreaker#dd arbalest#dd abomination#SORRY FOR YAOIFYING BIGBY THAT BADLY IDK WHAT HAPPENED...ETTO.......#my favorite builds are damage over time <3 number one blight buddy supporter#but marked for death r also my pookies....i just find marked builds a little awkward to use imo. but bh is like my blorbo#i find it funny drawing any of the charas bc i feel like i always draw characters a little too cutesy/colorful but its shrimpresting
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wanted to post something but Im still busy and havenât drawn much so here old art of River , my mystreet insert/oc LOL (featuring @ootttteerr âs insert Akira)
theyâre supposed to look like Sol I think I mentioned before that itâs a fun joke that theyâre twins in different universes
#I love garroth I miss him.. heâs a huge comfort character for me#errr feeling kinda awkward posting aphmau stuff I havenât posted anything of that in two years#made a bunch of angst that got a lot of attention (mostly over on tiktok) then dipped and now im coming back with a selfship post HELP#my art#yumeship#self ship#aphmau#aphblr#garroth ro'meave#garrance#laurance zvahl#river aphverse#rivoth#mystreet#mystreet garroth#mystreet laurance#oh wait im dumb i checked and i forgot i actually did draw aphmau stuff last year
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For anyone wondering, I am working on the last chapter of Snapshots (part of my Luigi Wasnât Saved AU) and am hoping to get it out soon. I know itâs been far too long. I was just finishing up my undergraduate degreee in creative writing on the spring and have been working customer service since then, so suffice to say Iâve been a little drained. However, I really want to finish this story and get onto some Mario ficlets I have ideas for (ones where Luigi will be alive!) (and possibly some movie-verse Luaisy đ). Iâll be taking a relaxing weekend trip the weekend after Labor Day, so the goal is to wrap up Snapshots then. âşď¸
In the meantime, I thought Iâd share some inexplicabley funny reactions my friend had to reading my fics.
Beneath The Layers (Mareach):
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Live for Both of You:
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#smb#super mario bros#super mario fanfic#I am a Luigi girlie#but Mario is still pretty fine#mario and luigi#mareach#my fic#got very jokey because having someone in my real life read my Mario sec and angst fanfiction is high key very awkward#update
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sometimes youâre just so in love with someone it hurts you physically down to your very core or something idk Iâm not a poet have some boyfs
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#Dewey Does an Art#be more chill#bmc#michael mell#jeremy heere#boyf riends#Michael is supposed to be at like. That awkward stage of post-crying lmao#Quality got messed up but also itâs just a doodle so it doesnât matter that much#Big fan of unrequited doomed Yaoi boyfs angst#And of Michael and Jeremy sleepover fanart#So like why not combine the two lolol#ALSO!!!!#first bmc art post of mine in 2024 :3
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monodeku fic idea for its like their second year, and the school festival is coming up so class 1-A and 1-B decide to collab (much to Monoma's protests), and everyone decides it would be fun to host a somewhat professional play with their own script.
Monoma and Izuku get picked for the main rolls, but one of girls (probably mina tbh) makes a joke suggesting "lmao what if we turned this into a romance" and monoma was like
"absolutely not"
but kendo on the other hand, (who, btw, knows monoma has a fat homosexual crush on izuku) was like "actually that's kinda genius"
and she goes on to explain that it could help monoma be less of a petty asshole and monoma KNOWS what she's trying to do atp so he's silently cursing her whole family.
but apparently kendo's reasoning is very convincing and everyone is like "lowkey we should" and monoma is like
"OHGOD NO. MIDYORIA, PLEASE WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THIS DOMT DO THIS TO ME" but Izuku just says "I mean i'm okay with it, sounds like fun"
so boom, romance play. the two classes start scripting and shit and one day during practice or whatever, Monoma and Izuku are rehearsing a fairly emotional scene and it gets a little TOO real and raw, and it seems like Monoma isn't acting anymore.
#monodeku#this idea is pretty flexible you could do a lot of different things with this#the emotional scene probably had something to do with monoma's character like#Feeling like he isn't enough to deserve being around izuku's character#or inferiority stuff where monoma's character rants about how he will always be behind izuku's character#but the idea is monoma gets a little bit emo and like#izuku is like âerrrmmm i think theres something wrong i need to check on my not boyfriendâ#after the scene was over monoma was like âahahah wow sorry guys got a little too in character there whoopsiesâ#there's also a lot of awkward gayness in this one#but i chose angst today
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listen. I'm not saying this fic I'm working on now is going to be my best fic
but I think it's definitely my favorite
it's this fic, in case you're wondering
... are we feeling a preview?
#tbh we weren't sure it was really going to happen but turns out it's good! and sad!#it's got everything#established relationship#arranged marriage#star crossed lovers#awkward and adorable smut#angst that leaves you going 'what??!?'
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I managed to write something slightly coherent and it's of course some angsty bullshit reunion moment that takes place sometime during season 4. Under the cut bc I feel bad making long posts. Also no spoilers bc I barely remember that season anyway.
Those deeply colored eyes were trained on his. The flecks of lighter blue seeming lighter with a slight joy, but drowning in the sea of rage induced navy blue fire. Those eyes were different, changed. Toughened from his past, toughened from his present; his eyes truly were like diamonds.
Still, they were Sebastian's eyes. Not the eyes of some sick criminal or twisted bastard...not to John, at least. At least he knew what happened after that pit. Sebastian hadn't died, and seemed to make a living for himself.
If clothes with dried blood stains counted as that.
"I want to make it clear that I don't care about the Holmes, either of them." He spoke, practically growling. "Keep them away from whatever fuck-all island the younger one wants to go to."
John was confused, vaguely remembering that there was some talk about someone, that Mycroft didn't want him involved since he wasn't family until Sherlock said something. "...why?"
Sebastian didn't look surprised by the question, but his silence proved he hadn't thought of a response to that question. "Spite, I suppose."
"No, I mean why warn me."
Longer silence.
"Mycroft would try to recruit me and Sherlock would just arrest me. Or talk too much and end up getting shot." The answer was said in a bored tone. As if either of those options would be an inconvenience.
John looked at the pockets of Sebastian's pants and jacket, looking for the faint shape of a firearm. That seemed to amuse the older, holding his arms out in a way that said "go on, frisk me".
Despite better judgement, John did so. Keeping far away as he could but feeling around for a weapon; gun, knife, or worse. He could feel how Sebastian's arms were larger with muscles. How he had another shirt underneath the plain button up he had on.
No weapon.
"I don't think you're a threat to me."
John raised a brow. Sebastian sighed, continuing to speak. "If it came to it, you'd hesitate to shoot me. And if you did manage to pull the trigger, it'd be somewhere that wouldn't kill me. You'd do the same if Stanford got involved in shit."
"I could break your arm." John pointed out. "Non lethal and would keep you from doing anything. Worst I could do there is make it a messy break."
Sebastian looked amused. "You'd have to grab me. If I had a gun," he made finger guns and aimed it towards John's midsection, "it'd be over. A knife, maybe you could get away with it. And you'd be betting on the fact that I can't use my other arm."
This wasn't how most people who went to school together and served together talked. Neither of them were normal anymore, it seemed. Too wrapped up in different worlds that intertwined sometimes.
"You said spite earlier. To who?"
The smile dropped from Sebastian's face at the question, eyes darkening. Not angry but mournful. "A dead man."
John crossed his arms at that answer, head tilting to the side. "You weren't always so closed about answers before."
That drew a bitter booming laugh. "You weren't always one for messy adventures."
TouchĂŠ.
John stared at the man for a bit. He wanted to speak more, but what could he ask? What would Sebastian reveal? He sighed. "If you know Sherlock, you know I can't talk him out of anything."
The mention of the detective made Sebastian's face become sour with hatred. "You can try. Or not tag along. It's his loose ends to tie, not yours. You've got a kid to worry about."
John's throat went dry at the mention of Rosie. A slight moment of regret appeared in Sebastian's eyes but his face remained blank. "How did you hear about that? I haven't seen you since-"
"That dead bastard decided to keep getting updates even from the grave. Bit stupid if you ask me, since I certainly don't care what shape Sherlock's shot into the wall or your baby." Sebastian interrupted with a shrug. So casual about admitting that the man he knew spied into-
"Moriarty."
That got a reaction from Sebastian. His eyes flashed with every stage of grief, his body tensed, and his fists clenched. It all relaxed after a deep breath, eyes turning to the side. "You've gotten observant."
"Happens when you hang around observant the Holmes brothers."
Sebastian still stared at something towards his life. Likely nothing of importance, but something that was good enough to keep his mind off of the loss he still was recovering from. "I gave my warning. Don't get involved with all that. It's messy and it'll just ruin your day."
"What is 'it', exactly?"
"One of the many charming skeletons in Mycroft's closet." Sebastian finally looked at John again. His eyes were returning to the ones John knew; the ones that glimmered with playfulness and had a fire burning in the background. "Tell him I said 'hi'. It might make him a bit grumpy, though. I've been a bit of a problem for him, after all."
John was silent. Those rageful eyes from earlier were that of a criminal but the anger was not at him. Could it ever be at him? Curiosity would kill him, and heaven knew when he'd see Sebastian again. "Could you shoot if it was me?"
Sebastian stopped, his back turned and only ten steps away. "Pardon?"
"Could you shoot me?"
The man was silent. The longer it lasted, the more the possible answer started to scare John. What would he do if it was a 'yes, without hesitation'? Just walk away and pretend that finding out an old friend would shoot you if it came to it was normal?
"Probably not. You've got that kid to take care of, and I'd hate to take you away from them." Sebastian thought for a moment, a grin growing on his face. "'Sides, you've got too pretty of a body to shoot."
"Someone disagrees with you."
"Someone hasn't seen you naked, then."
John was about to comment that of course whoever shot him hadn't seen him naked before stopping. Sebastian's incident happened before he was shot. He didn't hear of that tidbit of news. He frowned, shaking his head a little. "You say that as if many people have." He instead said.
Sebastian shrugged. "I'm just happy to be one of 'em."
"I see you haven't changed."
Another booming laugh, this one with no traces of bitterness. John couldn't help but smile at it, rolling his eyes. "Besides, I don't even know who shot me."
Sebastian stopped, concern lacing his eyes. "Was it here or back then? Because if it was here, I can easily find who did it and-"
"It was during the war, Sebastian. Jesus, calm down." He forgot how scary his old friend could look when angry. Even more now that he bulked more muscles and was rather obviously a criminal.
The man just nodded at that, scratching the side of his neck. "Sorry to hear. Hope it doesn't bother you."
"Not anymore."
"Good."
Silence washed over the two again. It was obvious the conversation was being dragged on longer than it needed to be. John didn't want to let go but Sebastian was already drifting away like sand in the wind.
"See you around?" He called hopefully after the retreating blonde.
"...maybe. Probably not, though."
There was a sad bitterness in Sebastian's voice. It thickened his accent and made his already deep voice go lower.
He was still so readable after all these years. John watched him go until he couldn't make out which walking person was Sebastian, then went on his own way. He kept what was said in mind, hoping to bring it up whenever Sherlock was in a mood to accept ideas that contradicted what he wanted.
Even if keeping him away from wherever was just Sebastian being a spiteful bastard towards Moriarty one last time.
#fuck i have to tag this#sebastian moran#john watson#i can tag jim he got mentioned enough#jim moriarty#the holmes brothers#i'm too lazy to tag both#past john watson/sebastian moran#well it's IMPLIED but it's there. shut the fuck up.#rayx writes#i lost track of making this angst driven but more like angst is the backseat driver#i'm going insane. anyway i hope the person who was intrigued by me mentioning i was back on my bullshit sees this#idr their username and also i feel too awkward to tag them#i might also write some mycroft/sebastian stuff later idk.#been in a mood of 'sure mormor is great but the other sebastian ships are so important to me'#i should make a full fic dedicated to mycroft/sebastian#i say as if i don't have other full fics dediacted to other ships that i ABANDONED like a DUMBASS!!!!!!!!#in my defense. um. writting hardd
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Being a teenager is such an ethereal experience because first you're in a waterpark with your friends and crush, where you get your first proper hug in weeks, then you're getting coffee and spicy chicken, before your mum makes you put her thrush cream on your crusty ear, when you finally break down listening to Taylor Swift and Bon Jovi.
#Like#this day should not have been THAT emotional#But it was#Had more twists than the water slides#I hit my elbow too#Today sorta sucked#Are you meant to capitalize tags?#fuck capitalism#I mean it's not like anyone's gonna see this anyway#I've even got homework#It's literally summer break#I hope none of those friends have tumblr#awkward#well#funny#maybe#If you enjoy other people's suffering#Not really suffering#This is so badly tagged#im sorry#teenage angst#That's so dramatic#Well I'M so dramatic#That's just being a#â¨teenage girlâ¨#please#Someone bring me a therapist#help#Swear it was worse irl
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â not even a little â
summary: megumi fushiguro is your roommate, he's also a scary guy... a scary guy that's weak for you.
featuring... megumi fushiguro
content warning: MDNI (18+), afab!reader, roommate!megumi, college!au, angst, fluff!!, alcohol, vomiting (from being so drunk), mentions of weed, hangovers, reader cries a few times, slow burn ish, these two are pissing me off, smut, dirty talk, cunnilingus, blowjobs, handjobs, fingering, cum eating, virginity loss (?), mentions of a cheating ex (there is Hana slander im sorry), emotionally stunted megumi, swearing, megumi is so bad at feelings oh my god, ozawa x yuji mentions
word count: 13.8k
author's note: MEOWâ guys i been working hard on this FUCKER!
chapter two
Youâre pretty sure he hates you.
Your new roommate, that is.Â
âFushiguro, right?â You led with friendliness, hoping to win him over with your charming personality and half the share of the rent. But he was beyond intimidating, standing at the front door, eyes slanted and harsh with boredom. His hair was messy but it almost seemed intentional with how much it complimented and framed his angular face.
He was gorgeous.
Yuko had neglected to tell you just how attractive your new roommate would be when she sent you the address the day before. Though, it made sense that she wouldnât notice since sheâs dating Itadori, not his old roommate.
He looked you up and down as you stood at his front door, a nervous smile twinging at your lips as an awkward tension consumed you. Though he didnât seem overly bothered by the awkwardness, simply humming in acknowledgement of his name before standing aside to let you into his apartment.
It was nice; very organised for a guy, you thought. He wordlessly led you to your new room, which was Yujiâs old room, and gave you the rundown of the rent and utilities while you tried to not melt at the deep smoothness of his voice.
What the hell had you gotten yourself into?
âYou didnât tell me he was hot, Ozawa,â you grumble as you tighten the group head into the coffee machine. Itâs quiet in the cafe that day, just you and Yuko behind the counter trying to shake off your lack of sleep with iced coffees and fries from the stainless steel bowl sitting at the kitchen window. The line chef doesnât care that youâre stealing the fries, too busy scrolling on his phone and attempting to blink away his hangover.
Yuko takes a sip of her coffee, her brows knit in confusion, âwho?â
âFushiguro,â you clarify, pressing buttons on the coffee machine.
Yuko was your friend from high school and she was the one that hooked you up with the apartment. All she told you was that he was Yujiâs best friend and old roommate before she and Yuji moved in together. She told you he was in his second year of college, he needed help with the rent and that he was a nice guy.
âYou told me he was nice, too.â
âFushiguro is nice,â Yuko retorts, restocking the paper cups next to the coffee machine.
You give her a look, ânice my ass.â
âYou just said he was hot!â she laughs at that, nudging your shoulder playfully.
âYou can be hot and mean at the same time, theyâre not mutually exclusive.â
âMm,â she hums, âsounds like your type.â
âRude,â you mutter.
The bell above the door dings, your eyes peeking over the coffee machine to spot Yuji walking in with a wide smile, âhi baby!â
Yuko grins, âHey, Yuji.â She leans over the counter, allowing Yuji to press a kiss against her cheek with a loud muah!
âWhatâs up?â Yuji asks curiously, letting his chin rest in his own palm.
âY/N was just telling me about her first night in her new place,â Yuko replies.
âOoh!â Yuji sings.
âShe said heâs hot,â Yuko giggles.
A big smile spills across Yujiâs face and he teasingly wiggles his brows, âyou got a crush?â
âNo,â you say defensively. âI donât even know him.â
âYou can crush on someone and not know them,â Yuji shrugs.
âI donât think you can.â
Yuji tuts, âah-ah! Jennifer Lawrence, I donât know her, but I have a crush on her.â
You look to Yuko, âyou gonna let him say that?â
Yuko shrugs sheepishly, âI have a crush on her too so I think itâs okay.â
Yuji points at her, âsee?â
You just playfully roll your eyes, âbut seriously⌠What's the secret? Cus I think he already wants me to move out.â
âFushiguro just takes time to warm up to people,â Yuji explains. âJust give it time.â
You wonder how long itâll take for him to warm up to you. Youâre a friendly person and youâre pretty bubbly but he just intimidates the hell out of you. But his apartment was way nicer than any of the other apartments near campus. And bonus points because the rent was rather cheap compared to other places youâd seen. So you canât screw this up.
But again, youâre pretty sure he hated you.
He was always grumbling around and seemed to get annoyed when you would put the dishes away in the wrong spots (though he never outright told you this). And he seemed to get annoyed when you were in a shared space, either sitting down on the floor in front of the TV to study or at the kitchen counter with your textbooks strewn about.Â
But no way in hell were you going to poke the bear and ask him if he hated you.
Because Megumi Fushiguro was a scary guy.
You think youâve screwed yourself when Megumi makes a bee-line for you a few weeks later.
Youâre sitting at your desk in your room with the door slightly open. Youâre focused on the essay youâre trying to edit but itâs hard to ignore the dark and brooding cloud that is Megumi Fushiguro.
âYou touch my shit?â He asks. It doesnât sound mean or accusing but just the depth of his voice alone makes you nervous.
âHuh?â You squeak out, eyes shifting nervously.
âMy clothes,â he holds out a folded shirt for emphasis, his other hand holding your door frame (and jesus christ his muscles look so good).
Fuck.
You gulp, âu-uh, yeah, I did. I needed more darks so I just⌠used some of yoursâŚâ
Megumi just stares at you, steely eyes narrow and harsh.
You smile sheepishly, though itâs not really a smile, more of a nervous twitch in your lips, âIâm sorryââ
âJust,â Megumi starts before he sighs, âdonât touch my shit.â
You nod quickly, âright. Iâm sorry.â
Itâs funny.Â
Youâve only been here for a few weeks and Megumi is growing more and more frustrated by you.Â
How you always manage to be there when heâs trying to use the shower or the kitchen or do his laundry. He realises the irony given youâre his fucking roommate but he canât cope with this shit.
He finds himself staring when you walk around in tiny shorts and tight tank tops. Or when you slink down the hallway wrapped in a towel like he canât see you. Or when you stretch your arms above your head while youâre studying, your shirt riding up and giving him the perfect view of your tummyâ
Megumi stands outside the bathroom door, towel and a change of clothes in hand.Â
He knew girls took a while in the shower but this? Youâd been in there for around fifteen minutes, the shower running and your music playing softly from inside. Megumi and Yuji used to function fine with one bathroom between the two of them, but sharing with you, a girl, proved to be a little different.
âMâso sorry,â you squeak as you pull the door open, your hair wet and combed back, your face free of your usual makeup.Â
âSâfine,â Megumi murmurs.Â
You quickly duck your head and slink away and Megumi just fucking stares. His breath gets caught in his throat at the sight of your towel pulled tight around your body, giving him a perfect view of the outline of your ass. His eyes raked over your bare shoulders and he almost felt dizzy at the lingering smell of your strawberry scented shampoo.
Megumi coughed into his fist, feeling a certain stiffness in his pants making itself known. Itâd been a while since he got laid so heâd just deal with it using a cold shower and thinking about violent video games or something.
Youâre finding you have the same problem.
You feel your face flush when he comes home from the gym in compression shirts and sweatpants, an earbud stuck in his ear and his skin covered in a thin sheen of sweat. And you just sit there in the living room gawking like an idiot as he mumbles an annoyed âheyâ then proceeds to ignore you the rest of the night.
Heâs caught you staring a few times, especially when youâre waiting for him to get out of the shower so you can use the bathroom and he emerges wrapped in nothing but a towel, his hair dripping water down his pale chest.
And you totally check him out before slapping a hand over your eyes, cheeks flushed as you squeak out an embarrassed, âsorry!â
He just rolls his eyes with a huff and disappears into his room, leaving you to bang your head against the wall because youâre so dumb.
Yuji was right, you do have a crush.
Itâs truly a tragic predicament because he seems to have no interest in you. He barely acknowledges you, humming when you greet him and brushing past you when youâre using a shared space at the same time. Itâs almost as if heâs actively avoiding you.
âI made you a coffee,â youâre trying to break the ice somehow because Megumi is so unbelievably unreadable that it hurts.
Megumi looks at you, half-lidded eyes tired and bored as he studies your nervous expression. You place the mug of hot coffee on the counter next to his set up of textbooks, notebooks, pens and his laptop.
You fiddle with your hands, âitâs just coffee and milk, I didnât know if you wanted sugarââ
âThanks,â he simply says, nodding with a tight-lipped smile before sticking his earbud back in his ear.
You stand there dumbfounded for a moment before you awkwardly shuffle off to your room. Completely missing how Megumi watches you leave.
Once midterms roll around, Megumi disappears off the face of the earth. You donât see him for weeks because heâs either cooped up in his room or he stays late on campus and you hear him get home at stupid hours of the night.
The next time you see him is at a party.
The frat house youâre at is packed with college students all at varying stages of drunkenness. Youâve maybe had half a drink, deciding to hide away in the kitchen and people-watch. Yuji and Yuko convinced you to come along since midterms were over and the stress swallowing the entire college campus had seemed to somewhat dissipate.Â
One party wouldnât hurt.Â
âYooo! Y/N you made it!â Yuji exclaims, an arm thrown around Yukoâs shoulders, the two of them clutching red plastic cups full of some mysteriously coloured alcohol.Â
âYeah, I thought Iâd try and make some friends,â you reply as Yuko hands you a drink.
âDamn, then what are we?â Yujiâs teases, gesturing between himself and Yuko.
You roll your eyes playfully, âmore friends, Itadori,â you clarify.
Yuji was a guy that was easy to get along with, always making friends no matter where he went. You became fast friends with Yuji after he and Yuko started dating since you were instrumental in convincing Yuko to give her number to him way back when.
âYou and Fushiguro friends yet?â Yuko asked curiously, slightly yelling over the music.
You grit your teeth, âdonât think so. I put the dishes away wrong once and I think heâs hated me ever since.â
Yuji blows a raspberry, âyeah right, you should try and talk to him tonight, maybe hit on him, hm?â Yuji wiggles his eyebrows at you.Â
âWhy tonight?â You ask curiously.
âCus he looks lonely,â Yuji points to the other end of the room.
You follow his finger and spot that familiar mop of messy black hair rather quickly. Heâs leaning against the wall cradling a drink and damn he looks good in the black shirt heâs wearing, allowing you to totally check out and gawk at his lean muscular arms. He looks beyond bored, his steely blue eyes scanning the crowd with complete disinterest.
You didnât even know he was coming to this thing and now youâre suddenly motivated to stay.
You gulp down the lump in your throat before squeezing the plastic cup of whatever the fuck in your hand. You lift it to your lips and chuck it back, the bitter alcohol burning your throat on the way down.Â
âAtta girl!â Yuji exclaims, âgo get your man!â
âYouâre for the girls, you know that, Yuji?â You grin.
âIâve been told,â he beams happily.Â
You take Yukoâs drink off her and quickly throw hers back too, needing some liquid courage to get you over there because at least if you say something stupid, you can blame it on the alcohol.Â
âOkay, maybe donât overdo it,â Yuko pats your shoulder.
You take in a breath before nodding and squeezing past your friends, making your way toward your roommate. You didnât even know he would be at this party, thatâs how little you talk to one another. Yet you find yourself getting nervous and stupid around him.Â
Youâre barely five meters away from him when you stop dead in your tracks.
A blonde girl approaches Megumi, her shoulder bumping his as she leans against the wall next to him. He eyes her before taking a sip of his drink. You donât hear what she says but he seems vaguely amused by it and you find yourself almost jealous that some random girl managed to get more emotion out of Megumi in the last two seconds than you have in the past two months.
Your heart thumps in your chest and you suddenly feel small and ridiculous. You clear your throat and quickly spin on your heel, heart thumping in your ears as you pick up another drink of whatever crazy jungle juice theyâre serving at this frat party and chuck it back.Â
He doesnât even know it and he just crushed your spirit.Â
âUh oh,â Yuji grits his teeth.
âWhyâs she coming back?â Yuko asks Yuji.
âIâm going to stand on a highway,â you grin maniacally. Yuko and Yuji peer behind you and spot the same blonde girl talking to Megumi, only this time sheâs turned toward him, giving him her undivided attention as she yaps on about something. Megumi still seems vaguely uninterested but he nods along slowly.
âYikes,â Yuji cringes, ânot him talking to his ex.â
âEx?â you squeak out.
Yuko nudges Yujiâs shoulder, giving him a âwhat the fuck, bro?â look. Yuji quickly stammers, âI-I mean, theyâve been broken up for like two years, thereâs nothing there.â
You donât believe him for a second because it certainly didnât look like nothing. You peek back over your shoulder and watch as Megumi chugs the rest of his drink and leaves, the blonde girl trailing behind him. Great, theyâre gonna go have sex and youâre stuck having a crush on your roommate who will probably kick you out when he gets back with her.Â
Great.
Great.
You turn back to Yuji and Yuko with a wide-eyed nervous smile.
Yuji grits his teeth, âyou okay, Y/N?â
You squeak, âmhm, so good!â
Yuko and Yuji share a look with each other before Yuko sighs, âheâs not worth it anyway, youâre a catch, if he canât see it then heâs stupid.â
You know sheâs trying to make you feel better and youâre a relatively confident person, but when you start to crush on someone and they donât offer any kind of reciprocation for your feelings, you start to feel a little⌠not so confident.Â
Yuko and Yuji try to make you feel better, introducing you to their other friend Nobara who is much more aggressive in her pep talk.
âYouâre a hot, sexy mama!â Nobara shakes your shoulders, her speech slurred slightly. âWho cares about that emo hoe anyway!â
You want to laugh but she honestly kind of scares you.
âYou gotta get laid by some other guy! A hot guy!â Nobara hiccups, taking another swig from her cup. âMaybe fuck your ex or something! Or, or, or! Fuck one of Fushiguroâs classmates!â
âUh, I donât think losing my virginity at a party is exactly ideal,â you reply.
Nobaraâs eyes bulge out of her head, âyouâre a virgin!?â She says it so loud that a few heads turn and you shush her quickly.
âTell the whole campus why donât you?â You scold in a hushed tone.
âYouâre hot though, babe,â she hiccups again. âYou could pull anyone!â
âFunny.â
âIâm serious!â
You let loose after that, deciding to drink and do shots to avoid thinking about Megumi as if you donât keep looking for him all night. Youâre always peeking over your shoulder, searching for him in the crowd and flat out ignoring the guys Nobara and Yuko attempt to introduce you to.Â
Youâre not interested in the pre-med students or the business students or whatever the fuck.
Youâre more interested in the tall, lean, handsome vet student who happens to be your roommate and who you havenât seen all night.
After many more rounds of shots, a game of beer pong and poorly deciding to bet Yuji you could drink him under the table; youâre so drunk. You stumble around the party, hanging off Yuji, Nobara and Yuko since they are clearly equally as drunk as you with how they encourage your behaviour.Â
Your head is fucking spinning and you feel like youâre going to be sick.
You stumble around the house, clutching the wall and stair bannister as you attempt to find the bathroom. You open a few random doors, spotting people making out, some other people fighting before you finally find the bathroom, bile rising in your throat and your vision going fuzzy. You find a bunch of people smoking what smells like weed in the bathroom, the smell hitting you in the face like a brick wall.Â
They all start yelling at you to shut the door and you quickly slam it shut before you stumble back down the stairs, racing to the back door as you feel the vomit start to claw up your throat. You shove the door open, the outside air freezing cold and nipping at your hot skin.Â
You half crawl toward the back fence, your stupid heels betraying you as you pathetically fall to your knees and throw your guts up in the garden.
Your brain is on fire and your stomach aches as you throw up all the alcohol in your system. You really shouldnât have been mixing your alcohols, but Nobara was so convincing and Megumi had just stomped on your heart.
You suddenly feel two cold hands against your head, brushing over your ears as they pull your hair into a makeshift ponytail, holding it out of your face as you throw up. Youâre thankful to whatever stranger is helping you out right now because you feel awful.
Tears prick at your eyes, a mix of tears and mascara running down your face because you really fucking hate throwing up and you really hate Megumi Fushiguro right now.
âYou okay?â The manâs voice is distant and a little fuzzy.
You wave him off, âmâfine.â
âYouâre crying,â he says softly, listening as you sniffle and wipe your tears away with the ball of your palm. Thereâs a pause, the man still holding your hair back, âwhyâre you crying?â
You shrug, âcus Iâm sick and Iâm sâdrunk and some stoners yelled at me and roommate is an ass.â
He hums, âwhatâd he do? âŚYour roommate?â
âNothing,â you whine with a soft sniffle.
âNothing?â He repeats, his voice sounding slightly amused.
âNothing,â you say again, âthatâs the problem.â
Thereâs a pause. âWhyâs that a problem?â
You groan quietly, âwhyâre you grillinâ me? Iâm sâdrunk.â
He chuckles softly, âright, sorry.â
You donât even know this guy and you immediately start rambling, âmy friends helped me find a roommate and everyone neglected to tell me he wsâ hot! And Iâm tryinâ to get him to like, notice me, but heâs so mean and Iâm like ninety-nine percent sure he hates me. Then he was with his ex at this party right before I wsâ gonna go talk to him! Can you believe that?â
âWow, he is an ass,â the man says matter-of-factly, validating your feelings.
âThank you,â you slur before you feel your tummy do a flip and youâre throwing up in the garden again. You wipe your mouth with the back of your hand, smearing your lipgloss messily. You sniffle again, âmâsorry stranger.â
âSâokay,â he rubs your shoulder, still holding your hair back.
You wake up the next morning with the most vicious headache.Â
You roll over with a groan, your head pounding and your mouth tasting of acid and whatever the hell was in that jungle juice last night. You press your face into your pillow and groan softly, your entire body feeling like shit. After a few painful seconds, you pry your eyes open, your vision fuzzy and your eyes sore.Â
Youâre in your bed.
Now how the fuck did you get here?
You sit up slowly, your head pounding and spinning with a wonderfully terrible hangover. You spot your shoes on the floor of your room, neatly sitting next to your desk along with your folded jacket. You half remember someone taking you home, maybe it was Yuji? Fuck, you better thank him.
You take your phone off your side table (which was miraculously put on charge last night) and search for Yukoâs number, you press her name and the phone rings a few times before she answers.
âH-Hello?â Yuko groans, her voice saturated with exhaustion.
âAre you as lucid as I am?â You cringe, rubbing your eyes with the ball of your palm.
You hear Yuko muffle a groan into her pillow, clearly as insanely hungover as you, âwe got so drunk.â
âIs Itadori okay?â you ask with a wince.
âHeâs throwing up in the shower right now,â she replies.
âThatâs rough,â you want to laugh but it hurts too much.
âWell he did crash the beer pong and drank half a bottle of midori so,â she trails off.
âCan you tell him thanks for taking me home?â you sigh.
Yuko pauses, âYuji didnât take you home.â
Huh?
âWhat?â you sit up in bed.
âBabe, Yuji was so drunk he tried to pet a rat in the street, he did not take you home,â she says.
You pinch the bridge of your nose. âThen who did?â
âY/N⌠Fushiguro took you home.â
What?
â
Megumi nurses a drink in his hand as he watches you from across the room. He canât help the way his chest tightens as he hears you laugh at something Yuji says, your nose scrunching cutely as you let out a bubbly laugh.Â
He also canât help the way his eyes drift down your body, thinking you look cute with your hair done like that. Youâre usually wearing baggy sweaters and shorts around the house, heâs never seen this outfit before and he really likes it.
He thinks you look pretty. You always look pretty but this outfit in particular has him short-circuiting like a teenager.Â
He thinks back to when he got unnecessarily mad at you over washing his clothes and how heâll never fucking admit it but they smelled so good. Heâs not sure what the hell you used to wash them but they smelled amazing, they smelled like you.
Megumi has to tear his eyes away when his gaze drops to your cute little ass in that mini skirt. He feels like a perv. He lives with you for god sake, he canât be thinking such things about his roommate. Not when he has to live with you for the next few years.Â
Megumi takes a long swig of his drink, attempting to stifle the thoughts with terrible tasting alcohol and pure willpower.Â
âDidnât think Iâd ever see Megumi Fushiguro at a party.â
Megumi has to stop himself from rolling his eyes when he hears her voice.Â
Hana leans against the wall beside him with a sly grin on her face, her shoulder bumping his. He knows sheâs doing it just to annoy him, of course she is.Â
âWhyâre you talking to me?â Megumi grumbles out, refusing to give her the satisfaction of eye contact as he sips on his drink because heâs gonna need alcohol or a fucking hammer to the head to get him through this interaction.
âCanât say hi to my ex-boyfriend?â She teases, leaning her head toward him.
Megumi rolls his eyes for real this time, âyouâve said hi.â
âOh, boo, youâre so not fun,â Hana playfully shoves his shoulder.
Megumi lets out a huffed fake laugh, âIâm really torn up about it.â
Hana talks to him about some random bullshit and Megumi isnât even listening because he knows sheâs drunk and she would be stupid to approach him sober. His eyes are instead glued to you, feeling himself get slightly jealous when Yuji puts a hand on your back to lead to toward the kitchenâ
ââand youâre still mad,â Hana slurs. Megumi didnât hear a word she said up until now.
Megumi side-eyes her, feeling rather annoyed by her incessant nagging, âyou done?â
Hana rolls her eyes, âIâm just saying you could at least have a civil conversation.â
Megumi feels his eye twitch, âI think you lose civil-conversation privileges when youâ I donât knowâ lie and cheat?â
Hana scoffs and Megumi decides he doesnât want to listen to her bullshit anymore and promptly walks off, shoving his hands in his pockets as he attempts to lose Hana in the crowd. She follows him around like some stupid puppy for a while before growing bored, probably going off to annoy some other poor sucker.
She also seems to lose interest when she notices Megumi simply doesnât care anymore. She does this sometimes, drunkenly messaging him every few months only for him to promptly block her account without a word. Heâs starting to think sheâs the one that wonât move on.
Megumi sighs when he steps outside into the backyard, sitting down on the edge of the porch and deciding to look busy by scrolling on his phone. Itâs quieter outside, the backyard mostly empty apart from a few people smoking cigarettes and vaping by the back fence.
Megumi Fushiguro is lonely.
Lonely in the sense that after Hana, he became decidedly more stoic and standoffish. She was his first serious girlfriend and he was stupid and naive for so long before Yuji and Nobara pointed out the rather obvious red flags that Megumi was painfully unaware of.
Because he was young and she was a little older, so she had to know better, right?
Maybe he really was too clingy and maybe he really did need to stop asking to hang out all the time. He felt utterly stupid when he found out she was cheating on him. It made sense, he was too clingy, too needy, too much.
Megumi reverted back in on himself for a long time, becoming sad and angry before he just stopped giving a shit.
He did a lot to forget about the anger and pain he felt from Hana.
He slept around to forget about her, becoming reserved and aloof over time. He eventually did get over it because why the fuck was it his fault that she cheated on him?
But the things she made him feel about himself lingered.Â
Made him wonder if he really was too needy and clingy to be a good boyfriend. Maybe he wasnât respectful enough of a personâs space and he needed to stop trying so hard.Â
He didnât go on dates much, everyone always thought he was too mean or rude to ever ask a girl on a date. Sure he slept with girls but they were quick to leave right after with a âyeah, yeah⌠I can call you if you want?â
If you want.
He just felt embarrassed, letting them gather their clothes and leave his apartment or usher him out of theirs while half-assed promising to text him later. Megumi didnât know who was using who at that point.
Megumi is shaken from his thoughts when a body almost falls into him. He goes to argue with whoever the fuck canât watch their step when he sees you.
Your shoes half fall off as you crawl toward the back fence to hurl up everything in your stomach. Megumi quickly slips his phone in his pocket and strides across the lawn toward you.Â
Youâre totally out of it.
Megumi pulls your hair out of your face as you vomit, tears slipping down your cheeks. Your skirt is riding up and your top is pulled low on your chest.Â
âYou okay?â Megumi asks softly, maybe one of the very few things heâs ever said to you. He gently adjusts your top, pulling the strap back onto your shoulder and pulling it up a little to cover the lacy material of your bra. You obviously donât realise youâre compromising yourself and he adjusts himself behind you to cover your skirt as it rides up your thighs.
There are guys who are nudging each other and pointing at you and Megumiâs gaze hardens on them, suddenly feeling agitated.
âMâfine,â you mumble out with a soft sniffle.
Megumiâs heart melts, âwhyâre you crying?â
You proceed to sniffle and pout while you tell him all about how your roommate is an ass⌠without realising youâre talking to your roommate.
He thinks itâs cute, finding you so adorably amusing with how animatedly you speak despite being rather drunk and sick. He finds it sad though that it took you being so drunk for him to sum up enough courage to talk to you.
It scared him how you made his heart hammer in his chest, how your mere gaze on him suddenly made him nervous. But he couldnât stop himself from staring. You were too cute with your dorky little grin as you stood at his front door telling him all about how you were his new roommate. He made a mental note to curse Yuji out for not telling him Yukoâs friend was a pretty girl and not the six foot two fucking pro wrestler guy he made you sound like.
You canât possibly have any more to throw up, your skin feverish and clammy as your fingers curl into the grass below you. Megumi rubs your shoulder gently before he feels you slump against him, sniffling and tiredly whimpering beside him.
Megumi goes stiff, unsure of what to do with you.Â
He should probably take you home.
âMâgonna take you home, okay?â Megumi says, feeling your body go a little more limp as you nod and pout in response.
Megumi easily picks you up, your legs dangling and your head falling against his chest, then he feels like he canât breathe.
You look so pretty even when your skin flushes a little pale from being so sick and your baby hairs stick to your clammy skin. He carries you around the side of the house to avoid taking you back through the loud ass party.
You donât make a peep as Megumi sits you in the passenger seat of his car, your head falling against the car window as he pulls your seatbelt over your shoulder, clipping it by your waist. He quickly sends Yuji a message to let him know heâs taking you home, though he doubts Yuji will pay attention to his phone since he seemed to be having a really good time taking shots and singing bad karaoke.
The car ride is silent and all Megumi can think about is what you said.
Maybe he kind of was being an ass to you. He hadnât made much of an effort to get to know you or make you feel welcome because, in all honesty, you freak him out with how you made him feel without even trying.
So instead, he ignores you.
Pretending he doesnât notice how your tongue pokes out from between your lips when youâre deep in focus, or how you always wear fuzzy socks around the house when you donât have classes, or how you do a little jump to reach things on the higher shelves (which makes him melt), or how you still look at him with such kindness despite how piss poor he behaves around you.
Megumi holds you close as he opens your bedroom door, pushing it the rest of the way open to set you down on your bed. Your hair is messy and your clothes are disheveled, a little pout on your cute little lips as you sway slightly.Â
You fall back onto your bed, your head hitting the soft pillow. Megumi sighs before sitting on the edge of your bed, large hands reaching to pull your shoes off for you.Â
Your feet look like they hurt, little red blisters forming on your heels and toes. He gently pulls your shoes off and sets them down by your bedside table. You sigh with relief at the feeling of having your feet free of their heel prison.Â
Megumi breathes softly and just studies you for a moment. Itâs dark in your room but he can see the gentle outline of your face and the curve of your cheek. Your room is quiet apart from your soft breaths and Megumi prays you canât hear his thumping heart.Â
Megumi lets his eyes wander, unable to tear his gaze away from the soft lacy hem of your bra peeking over your top. His breath hitches in his throat and he suddenly feels disgusting for wondering if your panties match your braâ He closes his eyes, biting the inside of his lip.
You whine in your sleep, some of your hair falling in front of your face as you squirm. Without thinking, he reaches up and tucks some of your hair behind your ear, thumb brushing over your cheek.
You stir at the feeling and Megumi pulls away, scared he woke you.
âMm, whereâm I?â you slur, eyes still pressed closed.
âYouâre home, donât worry,â Megumi replies softly.
âMm, okay,â you breathe, âthanks, YujiâŚâ
Megumiâs heart sinks but his face remains unchanged. Of course youâd think Yuji took you home, heâs your friend. Why would you Megumi do something like that for you?
He pulls away from you with a quiet sigh, âget some sleep, Y/N.â
â
âHow do you know he took me home?â You ask, shaking your head slightly as you restock the mini fridge under the counter with milk.
You managed to shake off the hangover after three days of staying curled up in bed drinking water, throwing back ibuprofen and watching kitchen nightmares on your laptop with all the lights off. But now youâre back at work being blinded by the awful fluorescent lights and smelling of burnt coffee.
Yuko presses a button on the coffee machine, âhe texted Yuji, told him he was gonna take you home,â Yuko replies, her hands on her hips.
You let out a shaky sigh, eyebrows furrowed in confusion because why would Megumi have taken you home when he seems so perpetually annoyed by you?
And how did he even find you? You remember the smell of the weed in the bathroom and people yelling at you, then you remember stumbling into the backyard like a bumbling fool, thenâÂ
Oh, no.
âI donât even know where you went, youâre lucky Fushiguro kept an eye on youââ
âNo!â You suddenly squeak.
Yuko gives you a dazed look, âwhat? What happened?â
You press your hands to your face, drawing out a muffled groan because it just fucking dawned on you who held your hair back in the garden that night.
âIt was him!â
âWhat are you talking about? Who?â
âFushiguro! He held my hair back in the garden! I called him an ass!â you whine.
Yuko pauses for a moment before she just starts laughing, pressing her hand to her mouth to muffle the sound. You look up at her with the most offended look on your face.
You throw a rag at her, âdonât laugh! I was so mean!â
âThatâs one way to break the ice,â she giggles, flinching away from you as you playfully swat at her leg with another rag.
âOzawaâŚâ you whine, âhe must be so mad at me.â
âHe still took you home after that though? I think youâre overthinking it.â
âHe should have left me there in that damp backyard in my own vomit!â you say dramatically. âNo wonder he thinks Iâm a fucking idiot.â
âI really doubt he thinks that,â Yuko rolls her eyes, becoming sick of this beating-around-the-bush mantra youâve got going on. Â
âI have to pay all the rent for like, a year as an apology.â
âCan you even afford that?â
âNo!â
You slug around for the rest of your shift, moping about behind the counter and wishing the ground would just swallow you whole. When the end of your shift rolls around, you feel more and more nervous about going home now that youâve figured out you called Megumi an ass to his face.
Before you clean the coffee machine, you make a coffee to take home for him since he seems to always drink the coffees you make for him even if he seems annoyed by you interrupting his studying.Â
Your hands are shaking as you unlock the front door, holding a cup of hot coffee and a cinnamon bun in a paper back in your other hand. Your heart is in your throat as you push the door open, peeking inside.
You see Megumi from the front door, heâs sitting at his desk in the living room, laptop open and a few notebooks stacked beside him. Classes havenât even ramped back up yet and heâs already studying.
You kick your shoes off and shuffle down the hall, heartbeat thumping in your ears and suddenly feeling a chill down your spine at the idea of facing your roommate who you insulted.
You clear your throat, âuh, h-hey.â
Megumi has his earbuds in but he notices you standing there in the corner of his eyes. He takes his earbuds out, âyou okay?â
You bite the inside of your cheek, âI got you a coffee.â
You place it down beside him. He doesnât take his eyes off yours.
Your knees feel weak under his steely gaze. You quickly hand him the paper bag, âand a cinnamon bun.â
âThanks,â he says simply.
Thereâs a long awkward pause before you huff out a shaky sigh, âlisten, Fushiguroâ Iâm sorry about the other night when I like, threw up everywhere and called you an assââ
âSâfine,â Megumi replies blankly.
âNo, really, I was mean and rude and I didnât mean itââ
âI know, idiot,â he cuts you off again, âseriously, itâs fine.â
Your lips form a tight line, eyebrows furrowed with worry because itâs not fine. You want to say more but youâre pretty sure Megumi doesnât want to talk about it anymore. Which is understandable, youâre just happy he hasnât kicked you out yet.
You toy with your fingers for a moment before you nod awkwardly, shuffling off toward your room. You miss as Megumi watches you leave again, feeling stupid for how bad he is at talking about his feelings.
You avoid Megumi like the plague after that.
Youâre so utterly embarrassed by what you said and you can only imagine how mad he is about it but at least heâs doing you a favour by not mentioning it.
You disappear from any room he walks into, slinking by and apologising awkwardly when you take up too much time in the bathroom, or bowing your head and averting your gaze when he walks into the kitchen, youâre embarrassed and you feel awful, and it bothers you that Megumi is so vague and mysterious about how he feels about you, sure he took you home and pulled your dirty shoes off your feet and put you to bed. But he also gives you curt nods and vague responses that leave you wondering whether or not he likes you or just tolerates you.Â
Are you friends? Just roommates? Does he like you? Does he hate you?Â
Youâve got no earthly idea and the easiest way to survive in such a predicament is to just avoid the very thing thatâs causing the problem.Â
And Megumi is so damn annoyed by it.
At first it was him who was avoiding you, hiding away in his room so he didnât have to interact with you and now that he knows youâve been trying to get him to notice you, heâs been trying to linger around nearby and sort of force the proximity because he has no idea how to approach you like a normal fucking person.Â
He reaches things for you on the top shelf when you canât reach them, he makes sure to take your sweaters out of the washing machine so they donât shrink, he even sets aside the caramel flavoured coffee pods for you because he knows theyâre your favourite.Â
Heâs bad at all of this. The talking part.
What if you think heâs too needy or too clingy or too much? That would just embarrass him even more than he already is.Â
Megumi lets you be, assuming that youâre probably regretting everything you said that night after he so blatantly blew you off when you brought home a coffee for him the other night.
But you talk again when your car doesnât start.
âFuck,â you groan, turning your key in the ignition for the third time in the past minute, the engine ticking, ticking, ticking before you give up. You whine and give a half-hearted punch to the steering wheel.Â
You knew this would happen eventually.Â
Your car is run down and sort of shitty. You have to basically shoulder check the driverâs side door to get it open and you canât actually open one of the back doors anymore because it refuses to unlock. But youâre broke and the damn thing gets you from A to B, except for today.
Itâs raining and your hair is stuck to your head from the mad dash you did from the front door to your car and now it wonât even start.Â
Youâre basically drenched when you step back inside the front door.
âI thought you left already?â Megumi questions from the kitchen, holding a bowl of cereal in his hand.
âMy stupid car wonâtâ oh,â you cut yourself off when your eyes meet with Megumi clearly fresh out of the shower.
Heâs wearing grey sweatpants that hang low on his hips and no shirt, little droplets of water slipping down his broad shoulders and chest from his slightly damp hair. Heâs looking at you with a bored expression, waiting for you to continue.
You clear your throat and decide the ceiling is so very interesting, âu-uh, yeah, my car wonât start, âm just gonna walkââ
âYouâre gonna walk?â Megumiâs eyes narrow.
âI mean Iâm poor so,â you give a sheepish laugh.
Megumi rolls his eyes, putting the bowl of cereal down on the counter and turning on his heel to pull his black hoodie off the couch, slipping it over his head.
âWeâll take my car,â he says, grabbing his keys off the side table beside the couch.
Your eyes widen, âhuh? Whatâ no, itâs fineââ
âWalking in this weather would be dumb,â Megumi grumbles, âjust get in my car, idiot.â
You press your mouth shut and do as you're told, trailing behind him as he picks up his umbrella by the door, holding it over your head as you take the short walk to his car. Megumi holds the umbrella completely over you, the heavy rain completely drenching his left shoulder.
âYouâre getting wet,â you point out.
âMâaware,â he retorts without looking at you.
Your shoulder bumps with Megumiâs bicep given the height difference between you. Youâve never been this close to him before, well, at least not sober. You never realised how much taller he is than you, it makes you feel kind of safe.
Megumi unlocks his car and opens the door for you, holding the umbrella completely over you until youâre safe in the passenger seat of his car. You curl your fingers around your tote bag nervously, Megumi getting in the driverâs seat.
âThank you,â you squeak out.
Megumi starts up his car, his car being one of those ones that has a push button to start instead of a key, âI donât mind,â he shrugs.
You chew on the inside of your cheek, your heart punching against your chest. You take a breath before you look over at Megumi.
âDo you hate me, Fushiguro?â
The question just hangs there and Megumi feels his heart falter at such a question because no, he doesnât hate you. Not even a little.
It upsets him that you think he hates you, that you think so little of yourself that you let yourself get torn up over what he thinks of you.
He had no idea he was coming off that way, that you genuinely thought he hated you.Â
He opens his mouth to speak but it never comes out. Heâs not sure what to say or what to do to make you see that hate is the furthest thing from his mind when it comes to you. But instead, Megumiâs mind is choked with thoughts and itâs so overwhelming that he just clutches the steering wheel and silently drives you to campus.Â
He still hasnât spoken when he parks the car.
The two of you are silent for a moment before he hears you sniffle, his heart snapping in two at the mere sound of it.Â
âT-Thank you,â you murmur, quickly pushing the door open and shuffling out before Megumi can protest.
No. Fuck. No, he didnât mean it like that.
âY/N, wait,â he gets out of the driverâs side, umbrella clutched in his fist.
Youâre holding your tote bag tight to your chest as you walk across the pavement in the pouring fucking rain.Â
âY/N!â Megumi is behind you, his hand curling around your upper arm and stopping you in your tracks.
You pause, turning to face him, eyes glassy and doe-like as you stare up at him, âwhat is it?â you force out.Â
You both hope he says something, anything. He pants, his hair sticking to his face as his steely eyes show the first ounce of emotion youâve seen from him.Â
âY-YouâŚâ Megumi doesnât stammer, he never does. âTake it,â he holds out the umbrella for you.
A silence hangs between you and you sigh, taking the umbrella from his grasp and opening it above your head, leaving him there in the carpark.Â
â
Megumi beat himself up over it for days.
He picks you up that same rainy afternoon, the two of you not uttering a single word to one another other than a âheyâ from him and a âthank youâ from you. He wants to tell you everything, that heâs really bad at talking about things and that he doesnât hate you.Â
Heâs not sure how to prove it to you, the words dying in his throat the moment he shares a room with you for more than five seconds. Heâs not sure what to say or how to say it.
Hana always told him he talked too much. Which was crazy because Megumi was a man of very few words. But when the two of them would fight, he was always so adamant at resolving the issue and getting to the root of the problem instead of just letting it hang in the air and choke him.
He sometimes wonders if thatâs why she cheated.
You donât talk to Megumi for a while. Feeling small and embarrassed about asking him such a question when you knew deep down it wasnât true and you just wanted to hear it from him.Â
But it hurt when he didnât deny your question, when he just stayed silent and let you fuss over it for days. Youâve lost sleep, laying away at night and wondering if you should just talk to him.Â
Megumi tries to approach you, he really does.Â
He thinks about knocking on your bedroom door late at night but every time he finds himself standing outside, arm held up about to knock, he stops himself and wonders if he even deserves to talk to you.Â
If he even deserves to try again.Â
âIâm the best youâll ever have.â
He knew it wasnât true at face value. He knew Hana wasnât good for him in the end, but itâs hard to ignore such bitterness coming from someone you used to love.Â
âHey, Yuko,â you greet softly, phone pressed to your ear. âCan I ask a favour?â
âOf course⌠you okay, Y/N?â Yuko asks slowly, her voice gentle.
You pause, âI just⌠I need a ride to campus until I can get my car fixed. Would you and Itadori mind if I tagged along? Iâll give you fuel money.â
Yuko pauses this time, ââŚYou didnât ask Fushiguro?â
You toy with your fingers nervously, âI donât think thatâs a good idea.âÂ
She hums and nods, âWe can take you, Y/N.âÂ
Yuko knows you well enough to know that something happened. You spoke so timidly and she could tell you were nervously fiddling with the sleeves of your sweater. She would talk to Yuji about it; hopefully he could knock some sense into his best friend.Â
It's first thing Monday morning when you emerge from your room with your tote bag over your shoulder and your hair done in a messy claw clip. You look tired, bags forming under your eyes and you make a beeline for the door without even acknowledging Megumi.Â
âDo you need a ride?â Megumi sits up straighter on the couch and holds his keys up as if he didnât set an alarm just to take you to class.Â
âUh, no, thanks. Ozawa and Itadori are taking me,â you say sheepishly, barely offering him a glance.Â
Megumiâs heart cracks a little. He wants to say something, tell you heâs sorry and ask if he can please take you to class. But he doesnât, mouth staying shut as he nods quickly, âright. Okay.âÂ
You leave without another word, the apartment feeling awful and still without you. Megumiâs leg bounces nervously and his blunt nails scratch at the inside of his knee. Heâs anxious and he wants to fix it so desperately but he feels like heâs only making it worse.
âHey, Y/N,â Yuji greets with a warm smile.
You offer him a half smile before getting in the back seat. Yuko and Yuji share a look with one another before Yuji backs out of the apartment parking lot. Thereâs an intensity hanging in the air and you just stare out the window with a blank expression, vaguely paying attention to the music on the radio.
âAre you okay, Y/N?â Yuji asks softly, eyeing you through the rearview mirror.
âMâfine,â you whisper back, too afraid to trust your voice.
âWhat happened?â Yuko reaches back between the seats to touch your knee affectionately.Â
You shrug, âI donât want to talk about it.â
Yuko pulls her hand away from you and glances at her boyfriend, the two of them making a silent agreement to talk to Fushiguro after dropping you off instead of going to their morning classes.
Yuji slams the door open, nearly sending Megumi flying into the roof with how loud it was, âFushiguro!â
âThe fuck are you yelling for?â Megumi spits, gaze softening slightly after realising Yuko was trailing behind Yuji.
Yuko frowns, âwhat did you say to Y/N?â
âWhat?â
âShe was upset, Fushiguro,â Yuji crosses his arms, âwhat did you say to her?â
âNothing,â Megumi defends quickly.
âThen why is she upset?â Yukoâs brows furrow.
Megumi sighs, âshe just asked me if I hated herââ
Yuji cuts him off, âand what did you say?â
Megumi averts his gaze, ânothing.â
âYou said what?â Yuko presses.
âI didnât know what to sayââ
âYou say, âno Y/N, I donât!â,â Yuji mocks before landing a punch to Megumiâs shoulder, âyou upset her, bro.â
âI know,â Megumi grumbles.
âThen why didnât you apologise?â Yuko asks.
âI didnât know how,â Megumi dejectedly sighs. âI didnât expect it.â
âShe likes you, man. Like a lot,â Yuji shakes his head, his heart hurting a little at the fact that Megumi looks really torn up about the whole situation too.
Thereâs a long pause, âcan you lie to her?â
âWhat?â Yuko and Yuji ask in unison.
âTell her you canât pick her up,â Megumi adds, âplease.â
Yuji and Yuko share another look and Yuko sighs before nodding her head, taking out her phone to tell you that she and Yuji canât come get you because Yujiâs brother called and needed his help. Itâs not a great lie, but youâll believe it at first glance.
â
Your phone buzzes in the middle of class. Youâre tired and you feel like shit and the professorâs monotone voice is boring you half to death. You flip your phone over and read the message from Yuko.
Yuko <3: Hey, Y/N. Choso called and he needs to borrow Yujiâs car, we canât come get you this afternoon. Sorry hun x
You frown.
Yuko <3: But donât worry, Fushiguro is coming to get you.
You panic, quickly unlocking your phone to message her back, telling her youâll get an uber or just walk but you get a message from an unknown number only a second later.
Unknown: Iâll come get you.
You rest your head in your palm and go to message him back telling him itâs fine but the speech bubbles appear and reappear before he sends the message.
Unknown: Please wait.
You let out a shaky breath, your heart pittering loudly in your chest. You zone out for the remainder of the class, nervously chewing on your nails and tapping on the desk. You donât want to talk to Megumi, you really donât. At least not while you feel like shit and your thoughts are a huge mess.
You sit on the grass after your lecture, pulling at the blades of grass by your feet while you stare at the ground, teeth nipping anxiously at the inside of your lower lip. You donât know what Megumi wants to say to you or why he even agreed to pick you up if he was so against talking about whatever the hell was going on between you two.
Youâre pulled from your thoughts when a pair of black sneakers intrudes on your line of sight, you know itâs Megumi from the little scuff marks on the edge since theyâre so worn out but theyâre his favourite pair.
He doesnât say anything as he stares at you, hands shoved in the pockets off his hoodie like they always are. You wordlessly stand up, pulling your tote bag to your chest and pushing past him without a word.
âY/N, Iââ
Youâre too far ahead of him now, making your way to his parked car on the curb. His head hurts and his chest is tight with nerves but heâs quick to unlock the car for you and let you scoot into the passenger seat.
Megumi quickly joins you, turning on the car and just sitting there for a moment, hands tight around the wheel.Â
âIââ Megumi feels his throat close up, âIâm sorry.â You feel your eyes glass over but you donât offer him anything else but he continues, âI donât hate you, Y/N.â
âSâfine if you do,â you say quietly, âI know I can be annoying and intrusiveââ
ââWhat? Youâre notââ
âAnd I understand if you want me to move outââ
âNo, Y/N, I donât want thatââ
Youâre rambling now without thinking, âând I know you probably need me to move out cus of that girl at the partyââ
âWhat girl?â Now heâs fucking confused.
âAnd sheâs pretty and I saw you talking to herââ
Wait, his ex?
ââWait, Y/N, thatâs notââ
âAnd Iâm sorry I was so drunkââ
âY/N, stop!â Megumi didnât mean to yell, but it instantly shuts you up. He peers over at you and youâre crying, tears slipping down your flushed cheeks. âI-Iâm sorry, I didnât mean to yell.â
âSâokay,â you sniffle, wiping your tears away.
âNo, itâs not⌠You just wouldnât shut up,â Megumi makes an attempt at dry humour, letting you know it was a joke by following up with a half-assed breathy laugh.
You just look at him, eyes slightly red.
âIâ Fuck,â Megumi curses, knuckles turning white as he grips the steering wheel.Â
The two of you stay silent, the only thing either of you hear is your quiet sniffling. Megumi sighs, running a hand through his messy hair before speaking, â...she cheated on me.â
Your eyes widen a little.
âThat girl you saw. Yeah, she was my ex but⌠she cheated on me.â
â...Iâm sorry, Fushiguro.â
âStop calling me that,â he grumbles.
âItâs your name,â you retort.
âI donât want you to call me Fushiguro,â he presses his eyes shut.
Your lips form a tight line and you just watch him, waiting patiently for him to continue because you can tell heâs trying really hard.
âCan you just call me Megumi,â he sighs. âPlease?â
You nod, âokay, Megumi,â you whisper softly.
â...I donât hate you, Y/N. Not even a little,â his eyes finally meet yours.
âYouâre really bad at showing it,â you say with a breathy laugh.
âI know⌠Mâjust reallyââ he stops himself, his hand scrunching against the material over his thigh, âIâm just scared.â
Your heart shatters, a pout pulling at your lip because you feel like youâre about to cry again. You study him for a moment, your heart warming at the sight of Megumi Fushiguro being so utterly soft and nervous.
You hesitate for a moment before you reach your hand over the centre console to stop him from grabbing and pulling at his own thigh. His hand is cold and his palm is rough but itâs him. And you were sitting here thinking you needed his comfort when really he needed yours.
He flinches at the gentleness of your touch, your hand is smaller than his but itâs so soft and warm.Â
He lets you wrap your fingers around the back of his hand, lets you roll his hand over and press your palm to his. Itâs comforting and itâs sweet.
âYou donât need to be scared, Gumi.â
His heart flutters at the nickname and his steely blue eyes nervously meet yours. He nods his head slowly and you smile.
âFeel better?â You ask softly.
Megumi holds your hand in his, eyes still searching yours before they flicker down to your lips briefly. You catch the quick movement and your body reacts without any input from your brain, your tongue darting out to wet your lips.
âGumi?â
Megumi doesnât need much more motivation than that and his other hand lets go of the wheel to reach over and cup your warm cheek. Your breath hitches in your throat and your eyes flicker between his nervously. His eyes are half-lidded, nose grazing yours and your hand squeezes tight around his.
âSâokay,â he coos softly, his voice barely above a whisper. âMâgonna kiss you.â
Your heart is in your throat and you start overthinking it, thinking back to the maybe handful of times a boy has kissed you, but never a man, never someone like Megumi.
You nod your head quickly and a smile tugs at the corner of Megumiâs lip because youâre so fucking cute.
You feel the world melt away when Megumiâs breath fans across your lips, his hand coming to cup the back of your head, guiding you to tilt your head slightly as he finally, finally, closes the distance between you, his slightly chapped lips meeting yours.
You melt into his warmth, one hand nervously holding his while the other has a death grip on the strap of your tote bag.Â
His lips move against yours, becoming a little more feverish and needy when you let out a soft whine. He feels himself go feral, wanting to drag you into the back seat and take you in this stupid parking lot where everyone can see.
But instead he takes it slow, pressing your lips against his and his hand tangling in your soft hair. Youâre nervous and a little inexperienced, he can tell but it only drives him more insane.
He pulls away only a fraction, a cheeky smile pulling at his lips when he realises your lips chase his, your other hand coming to curl around his hoodie sleeve to bring him closer.
âWasnât so bad?â Megumi whispers.
You have the most innocent little look on your face, âdoes that mean you like me?â
Megumi can only chuckle softly at how damn cute you are, âI donât just kiss any girl like that, Y/N.â
You nod timidly, âmâkay, Gumi.â
Megumi wants to kiss you again but refrains because he knows heâll want to do other things to you with how you utter the nickname with such innocence, but youâre in a parking lot on your college campus and there are about fifty people that have walked by in the past ten minutes.
But when you get home?
âMegumiââ your hands are clutching the front of his hoodie as he kisses the side of your cheek, then your temple, then above your eyebrow, âwait a second.â
âS-Sorry,â he mutters against your warm skin.Â
Youâve barely got one foot in the door and Megumi already has you pinned against the wall in the hallway, a large hand cupping your head while the other rests on your waist. He pants softly, lips itching to kiss you and kiss you hard.
âIâm sorry too,â you say breathlessly. âFor not seeing.â
Megumi shakes his head, âyou donât need to be sorry.â
âBut I am,â you murmur, âyouâre really bad at talking about your feelings but I should have been more observant.â
âSâokay, Y/N,â he rests his forehead against yours, âmâjust glad you let me pick you up.â
âI thought about just walking,â you giggle, âletting you grovel for a little longer.â
âThatâs not very nice.â
âIâm glad I didnât.â
âIâm glad you didnât either,â he smiles softly, running the pad of his thumb along your cheek.
You fall silent, hands just holding onto his hoodie while he presses feather-light kisses to your face. You suddenly feel nervous when you feel a certain stiffness against your thigh.
â...Do you want toââ
âIâm a virgin.â
Megumi pulls away from you, âW-What?â
âYou were gonna ask if we could⌠yâknow,â your eyes shift away from him, âI panicked.â
Megumi laughs, like actually, laughs at that.
âDonât laugh,â you playfully punch his shoulder, your bottom lip sticking out in a pout. âA lot of people are still virgins in college.â
âMânot laughing at that,â he grins. âYouâre just⌠youâre really cute.â
You feel your face heat at that, âstop it.â
âMâserious.â
âYouâre always serious.â
âWhatever.â
You giggle softly, letting him press a soft peck to your lips.
âI was going to ask if you wanted to watch a movie,â Megumi lies through his teeth, liking the way you flush and stammer at outing yourself.Â
âOh,â you say quietly.Â
âWhy âohâ?â He teases.
âNothing,â you say quickly, brows knit.
âWhat?â he presses with a shit-eating grin.Â
âNothing,â you retort.
â...Did you want to have sex?â
Your heart drops, eyes widening slightly because yes, you do want to have sex with Megumi. Youâd never really thought much about sex until him. Never thought youâd want a guy to manhandle you or put his hands all over your body until Megumi.
âCan we?â you ask timidly.
Megumi feels a pang in his heart because youâre so fucking cute he might pass away. He smiles before pressing a kiss to your forehead, âif you want to.â
âBut do you want to?â
Megumi doesnât need to think very hard about that one.
âIâve wanted you in my bed since I first met you, Y/N.â
You breathe hard, your heart racing in your chest and youâre sure itâs loud enough for Megumi to hear how fucking nervous yet turned on you are. Your eyes fall to his lips again, revelling in the feeling of his breath fanning over your lips.
You press up on your tiptoes, Megumiâs head slowly tilting and following you, wondering what youâre doing. Your soft lips graze the shell of his ear and you smile cheekily, about to fucking out yourself with the last of your confidence.Â
âFuck me then.â
Megumi slams you against the wall, arms caging your body as he presses his lips hard against yours. The kiss is needy and feverish, a mess of clashing teeth and wandering hands. Megumiâs hand cups the back of your head, tilting your head to the side to deepen the kiss.
His tongue presses against your lips before sliding into your mouth, earning a soft whine from your throat that you didnât mean to sound so desperate. Your fists curl around the material of his hoodie, pulling Megumi impossibly closer.
Megumiâs free hand drops from your waist to your hip, squeezing your skin. His other hand drops from your head to curl over your hips and grope your ass. Both of his hands cup your ass, kneading the soft flesh and earning a soft mewl from your throat.
âYou sound so pretty, baby,â Megumi mutters against your lips, his messy hair tickling your forehead. You want to moan and whine at the nickname but instead you kiss him again.
Youâve got the hang of this kissing thing but you still have no fucking idea where to put your hands without making him uncomfortableâ as if his hands arenât groping your ass.
Megumi pulls away slightly breathless, âyou wanna stop?â
âNo,â you shake your head quickly, âno, I donât wanna stop.â
Megumi grins, kissing your cheek, âokay, sweet girl.â
Megumi leads you to his bedroom, his hand never leaving yours and your other hand never letting go of his hoodie sleeve. He pushes his bedroom door open, his lips on your instantly as he backs you up to his bed. The backs of your thighs hit his mattress and you fall backward, bringing Megumi with you.Â
Megumi chuckles softly against your lips before kissing the corner of your mouth, then your cheek, then the underside of your jaw, then your neck. His hand paws at the bottom hem of your sweater, his fingers slipping underneath to ghost over the skin of your bare tummy.Â
âMâgonna take it off, okay?âÂ
You nod sheepishly, âokay.â
âYou tell me if you want me to stop,â he breathes.
âI will, Gumi,â you reply with a whisper, kissing the tip of his nose.
Megumi grins affectionately before his hands grip the bottom of your sweater, pulling it up slightly. Your breath hitches in your throat and he slowly pulls your sweater upward and over your tits. Youâre not wearing a shirt, just a lacy black bra, just like the one he got a peek of at the party.
âPretty,â Megumi murmurs, pressing a kiss to your chest, right between your collarbones.Â
Your fingers tangle in his hair, holding him against your hot skin as he peppers kisses across your chest, finally pulling your sweater over your head and tossing it aside. Youâre left in your pretty bra and a short little skirt that finished above your mid thigh.Â
God how he wants to bite and suck on your pretty plush thighs.
His hand snakes underneath you, fingers fiddling with your bra clasp at your back. Your breathing quickens and Megumi kisses your cheek, âsâokay⌠mâhere.â
He unclasps your bra, the cups loosening around your tits and the straps going slack on your shoulders. His fingers ghost over your shoulder as he pulls the strap down your shoulder, pressing soft kisses in his wake.
âC-Can you go faster?â You whine, your voice quiet.
Megumi chuckles, lifting his head to peer up at you, pupils blown wide, âam I going to slow for you, pretty girl?â
You bite your lip, âmhm.â
Megumi lifts his thigh, pressing it between your legs to where you desperately want him. You whine when he presses his strong thigh against your clothed heat, your skirt bunching up at your waist. Your skin feels hot and you feel a wetness pooling in your panties, making your face flush with embarrassment at your own neediness.
âIâve thought about this,â Megumi whispers, pulling your bra cup down, his large hand cupping your plush breast. âA lot.â
You moan softly, your nipples hardening under the cold chill of the air in his room.
âThought about what youâd sound like.â
He lowers his head slightly, pressing long, wet kisses to your pretty nipples. Your hand tangles in his hair, pressing him down and forcing him to nip and suck at the soft skin.
âThought about how youâd look.â
You roll your hips involuntarily against his strong thigh, feeling the friction against your poor little clit. You moan underneath him, your heart racing as he lowers his head to kiss down your tummy to the hem of your skirt.
âThought about how youâd taste.â
You suddenly let out a surprised gasp when Megumi pulls your lower body off the bed, your hands curling into his bedsheets for support. You peer down at him, your heart in your throat at the sight of Megumi between your legs, his fingers curling underneath the waistband of your skirt and pulling.
He drops the material on the floor, his large hands curling underneath your thighs and pulling them apart, âw-wait, Gumi.â
He presses a kiss to the inside of your thigh, âwhat is it, princess?â
âW-What are you doing?â
Megumi smiles against the inside of your thigh, âmâgonna eat your pretty pussy.â
Your hands curl into the sheets and you feel a glob of arousal seep from your cunt. If this is how fucked up he gets you just from kissing you, how the hell are you going to hold up with his tongue inside you?
âYou okay with that?â
You nod your head quickly without thinking, a thin sheen of sweat already coating your skin. âP-Pleaseââ
Megumi chuckles softly at how damn cute you are, his fingers hooking under the sides of your panties, pulling them down your legs. Theyâre covered in your arousal, your pretty pussy glistening under the warm glow of the setting sun.
God he wishes he could take a picture.
âG-Gumi?â You peer down at him, âs-stop staring.â
Megumi pulls your thighs over his shoulders, his hair tickling the insides of your spread legs, âsorry, sweet girl, sheâs just sâpretty.â
You let out an involuntary moan when he presses a kiss to your swollen clit, the sudden attention sending a jolt of pleasure through your tummy. You want to slam your thighs closed, your body desperate for friction.Â
âDonât tease me,â you whine. âPleaseââ
Megumiâs fingers curl into your thighs, pulling them apart further and forcing your pussy lips open to press the flat of his tongue against your awaiting clit.Â
âM-Megumiââ
You throw your head back against the bed, one of your hands pressing against the back of his head, forcing him closer to your pussy. No one has ever touched you like this, no one has ever put their mouth on you, no one has ever seen your pretty pussy and you couldnât think of anyone better than Megumi Fushiguro to be the one to tongue-fuck you right now.
âYou ever masturbated, baby?â
You whine, âa-are you teasing me or something?â
He smiles against your clit, tongue dipping down to lap up your slick, âmaybe a little. I just wanna know if youâve ever had something inside you.â His thumbs spread you open, his tongue flicking against your clit and making you whine even louder. âShh, baby, we have neighbours.â
You donât give a fuck right now.
âIâve masturbated b-before,â you say after a hard huff, you feel fucking breathless.
âOh, yeah?â Megumi presses his tongue against your little hole, lewdly slurping up the insane amount of arousal leaking from you. âYou should show me.â
âNo!â you whine, âso embarrassing.â
âI think itâd be hot,â the tip of his middle finger presses against your hole. âMaybe some other time.â
You cry out, hands gripping the sheets when Megumi presses the tip of his middle finger into your cunt. His fingers are thicker than yours and you can only imagine so much longer, able to press against parts of you youâve never reached before.Â
âGumiââ you pant, âm-more.â
âMore?â He raises a brow at you.
âPlease, pleaseââ
âYouâre so cute.â
âShut up!â you whimper, âjsâ touch meââ Megumi canât deny you, not when you sound so fucking gorgeous and you taste like fucking heaven.Â
He presses his finger into you, twisting his hand around and curling his finger inside you. You want to cry, your eyes screwed shut and your belly burning. He fucks his finger into you slowly, his tongue lapping and sucking your clit while your thighs press against his head.
âGonna add another one, okay, baby?â
You nod your head desperately and he smiles cheekily, pressing a second finger into you to stretch you open. You throw your head back at the delicious stretch, your slick coating Megumiâs fingers and dripping down his wrist.
Megumi feels your thighs pressing together harder and he forces your thigh down with his free hand, your knee almost hitting your chest with how he pins it down. Heâs spreading you open, tongue flicking against your clit and fingers curling against your gummy walls.
âGumiâ mâgonnaââ you feel your tummy burn and youâre so fucking embarrassed that youâre about to cum from just having two fingers inside you. You start to pant, hands tangling in his hair as lewd slurping and squelches fill his room.
âSâokay, baby. Cum on my mouth,â he groans against you, his cock rock hard from feeling your hips grind against his face. You might be a virgin but your body knows what it wants as you rut against his tongue and your legs shake.
Megumi suddenly shakes his head over your clit, his mouth covered in your slick and you just cum. It crashes into you like a fucking train and you whine and moan against the back of your hand as Megumi fucks his fingers into your sopping cunt, your hole spasming and clenching down on his fingers.
He scissors and curls his fingers inside you, fucking you through your orgasm and feeling a sense of pride but also getting a huge fucking ego boost that heâs the first man to ever make you cum.
Your chest is heaving up and down, your vision cloudy and your mind feeling fuzzy as you come back down from your high. Megumi pulls his fingers out of you, kissing the inside of your thigh and lapping up the mess you made all over yourself.
You sit up on your elbows, face flushed and hair dishevelled as you peer down at Megumi. You suddenly feel immensely embarrassed that he was just between your legs, his tongue flicking over your clit and his fingers deep inside you.
âFuck, you taste better than I imagined,â Megumi licks his fingers clean while holding eye contact with you.Â
You whine and flop back onto the bed, earning a soft chuckle from Megumi as he gets to his feet, attempting to find a towel or old shirt somewhere.
âWhere are you going?â You ask timidly.
âMâgonna clean you up, donât worry, I wonât go,â he replies, quickly pressing a kiss to your forehead.
âButâŚâ your eyes flicker to the obvious bulge in his pants.
âHm?â He follows your gaze. âOh, mâokay, princess. Itâs not about me anyway.â
âBut, I want toââ
âSâokay, Y/N,â he lifts your hand, kissing your knuckles softly, âyou can try some other time.â
â...Do you not want to?â
He grins, âcourse I want to.â
âThen let me,â you whine, pulling him closer to you. âPlease.â
Megumi ponders it for a moment. He doesnât want to frighten you and heâs so fucking scared of losing control and just bending you over and fucking your brains out. But the way you look at him with your pretty wide eyes and your hands gripping his thighs as he stands between your legsâÂ
How could he say no?
âYou want to, baby?â
âMhm.â
âOkay⌠weâll go slow,â he urges, petting your hair gently.Â
Youâre so fucking eager to please him that it makes him weak. Your post-orgasm body is shaky as you reach for the zipper of his pants, your fingertips grazing against the sensitive bulge. He groans softly, hand petting your head as he lets you figure it out, slowly unzipping his pants and pulling them down a little.
Thereâs a dark wet patch on his boxers, heâs so fucking turned on by your pretty sounds and your intoxicating taste that his cock is leaking and begging for attention.
âSâbig,â you whisper, eyes widening.
And he hasnât even pulled his cock out of his boxers.
He chuckles, âyou flatter me, pretty.â
âN-No, really,â your pretty eyes meet his. âIs it gonna fit in my mouth?â
Holy fucking shit.Â
He was thinking you were just going to give him a handjob and now youâre asking if he can fit in your mouth.
Megumi runs a hand through his hair, âfuck you drive me crazy.â
âI-I thought you wanted me toââ
âBaby. You can do whatever you want to me.â
Your eyes blow wide and you just about sparkle with anticipation, âthen⌠can I suck your dick?â
Someone kill him and put him to rest because youâre about to be the death of him.
âFuck yeah you can, baby.â
Megumi has to help you pull his cock from his boxers and your eyes just about bulge out of your head at the size of him. Heâs long and thick and the tip is a pretty pink colour. Itâs heavy too, almost too heavy to hold itself up.
He sits down on the bed and you get on your knees in front of him. He strips his hoodie off, his abs flexing as he leans back on his elbows, just watching you.
You bite your lip, suddenly intimidated.
âSâokay⌠just take it slow.â
You nod your head before your hand wraps around the base. Megumi suddenly groans and you pull away with a fright, âs-sorry!â
âNo, no, babyââ he chuckles breathily. âJsâ a lot to take in having a pretty girl with her hands on my cock.â
You look away shyly and Megumi laughs, reaching out to cup your jaw, forcing you to look back at him. He sits up, leaning down to kiss your lips softly. You taste the remains of your orgasm on his tongue, pressing your thighs together as you feel yourself become a little aroused again.
He kisses you deeper, reaching his free hand out to cup your own, guiding you toward his hard neglected cock. âYou can touch me, baby.â
Your hand wraps around the base and you squeeze softly, earning a groan from your pretty roommate. He guides your hand up and down and itâs painfully fucking slow but heâs just happy to have your hands on him.
âAtta girl,â he murmurs. âDoinâ so good.â
You beam at the praise, pressing your thumb against the leaky slit of his pretty cock head. Megumi groans, leaning back on his elbows and tipping his head back. You continue the motion, eyes gleaming with pride and innocence as you just watch him fuck your hand.
His hips jerk up, his cock pulsing in your hand.
You suddenly feel the urge to press your lips to his tip and when you do, Megumi nearly cums like a fucking teenager.Â
âF-Fuck,â he grunts, his hand unintentionally pulling your hair, forcing out a pretty moan from your lips.Â
You take the tip in your mouth, your tongue flattening against the head. You wonder if youâre doing it right but the way Megumi groans and his hand pushes your head further down his length, you think youâre doing a pretty good job.
âSuch a good girl,â Megumi sighs, âfeels sâgood.â
You moan at the praise, taking a little more of his length down your throat. Your hands are squeezing his thighs, nails scraping against the taut skin and Megumi is doing everything in his power to not fuck his cock down your throat.
You start to drool, saliva slipping down your chin and coating his pretty cock. You suddenly gag on his cock, the tip hitting the back of your throat.Â
âF-Fuck,â Megumi feels his cock twitch at the cute fucking sounds youâre making. Your eyes are glassy, and youâve got drool dripping down your chin and your cheeks are flushed so pretty. âYouâre gonna make me cum, baby.â
You pump the base of his cock, your tongue clumsily swirling around his tip, eyes glued to him as you watch for his reactions. Megumi suddenly sucks in a breath and pulls your mouth off his tip with a quiet pop! quickly pumping his cock.
Hot ropes of sticky cum spill across your lips and face, Megumi tipping his head back with a deep groan, squeezing the base of his cock as it twitches and jumps.
âFuckâ you sure youâve never sucked dick beforeâ Oh, fuck.â
Megumiâs eyes dilate at the sight of his cum painting your pretty little face, your fingers swiping at the ropes of cum before you push them into your mouth, tasting him.Â
âI do good?â
Megumi laughs breathlessly, âyou did so good, baby girl.â
Megumi is quick to clean you up, using an old shirt to wipe the cum off your face while you sit there all pretty on your knees in front of him. He presses kisses to your face and your hair before pulling you into bed beside him, his fingertips tracing over your shoulder as you lay your head on his chest.
âYou mean what you said?â
âHm?â
âYou like me?â You ask sweetly, resting your chin on his chest to look up at him.
Megumi sits up a bit, âI like-like you.â
âWow. Thatâs a big call, Fushiguro.â
Megumi chuckles, pressing a kiss to your forehead, âremember itâs Megumi.â
âGumi?â
âI like that too.â
âMm, Megs?â
âDonât push it.â
You giggle softly, curling into his side with a wide smile.
Megumi takes you to work and campus every day after that night, his hand always in yours when he walks you to class and he likes to pretend it annoys him how you wrap your hand around his arm and how you squeal his name when you see him after class.
When in reality, Megumi couldnât be happier. In a twisted way, heâs glad you asked him if he hated you, because he was able to summon the courage to tell you the truth.
That he didnât hate you. Not even a little.
author's note: the way i been pulling all nighters for DAYS. i was about to kill these two I TELL YOU JUST MAKE OUT PLS I CANTâ
taglist: @starpachinko @2ukika @sukunabish @somethinglikero @wannabewolf @milliex01x @princessa143 @hrithi11 @katsukita69 @slayzzz @arcanefeelings @shirabu-k @izzzzzzig @zah2890 @evergumi @aerareads @flashilyquinn @raedollsstuff @happylildeath @anormieee @l1v1ngzomb1e @kimkimoruo @sunnyf4lls @saekolust @kalulakunundrum @xastoriaaurax @feliaeae @sleepyxzn @mahazsine
#jjk#jjk x reader#jujutsu kaisen#megumi x reader#x reader#jjk megumi x reader#megumi fushiguro#jjk smut#megumi fushiguro x reader#megumi fushiguro smut#megumi smut#jjk x reader smut#fushiguro megumi#megumi#jjk megumi#jujutsu kaisen megumi#yuji itadori#yuji itadori x reader#yuji x ozawa
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ETA fifteen minutes is the family part of the code.
Estimated Time till Adoption: fifteen minutes.
East-West probably indicates an End of the World situation.
Family Dinners - dpxdc
"Holy shit, you're Bruce Wayne!" Danny gaped, jabbing a finger at the man sitting at the head of the table.
The bustling dining room goes silent as everyone turns to look at him.
"Danny, who did you think was going to be here?" Tim asks, disbelief plain in his voice and Danny feels his face flush red.
"Sorry, I, uh, I guess I just never put it together. Tim Drake-Wayne. Wayne Manor. It, uh, makes sense now." He laughs sheepishly and scrubs at his neck before slumping back down into his chair.
"Well," Tim says with an indulgent sigh, "at least I know you're not just friends with me for my connections."
"Yeah, I'm really sorry, I just never thought about it, I guess."
Danny sinks lower as everyone around him laughs. Come to dinner, he said, the food is the best, he said, ignore the family, he said. Danny really wishes he'd listened to Tim and just ignored themâalmost as much as he's regretting accepting the offer in the first placeâbut... he's having dinner with Batman.
Ancients, that's so weird!
The last time he saw Batman was in the future and, suffice it to say, it was not going well. There hadn't really been time for family dinners there.
Wait. Family dinners?
He peers around the table, openly gawking at everyone as it all clicks into place.
"Everything alright, Danny? Now realising who everyone else is?" Tim asks with a roll of his eyes.
"Uh... something like that..." Danny mumbles as everyone laughs again.
From further down the table, the smallest Wayne scoffs and clicks his tongue.
"I thought you said he was smart, Drake?"
"So, you all do it, too, then?" he asks, ignoring the jibe. Danny's only a little bit jealous as he thinks of how much easier they must have it, how much easier it'd be if his family had been on his side, too. "You all work together?"
"Nah," Dick says from across the table with a brilliant grin. "Tim's the only one that works with Bruce, we all have different jobs. I'm a police officer in Bludhaven."
"Disgusting." Danny blurts out without thinkingâbecause seriously, what kind of self-respecting vigilante would also be a police officer?âbefore clapping a hand over his mouth. "Sorry."
The whole table laughs again, the loudest being the blonde girl a few spaces down from Dick. Look, Danny wasn't really paying attention to names when they were all paraded in front of him. Dick only gets remembered because his name is a joke.
Come on, Danny, recover!
"That's, uh, not what I meant, though."
"Oh?" Dick asks, cocking his head slightly to the side. Is it Danny's imagination or does his smile tense slightly?
"Yeah, I mean like, you know, in costume. It must make it so much easier to have everyone together like this."
"Costume? What do you mean?"
Yeah, Danny's not imagining it, everyone tenses up at that. It's really only now that he's realising that this probably isn't how he should bring up that he knows about their... night time activities. In fact, he probably shouldn't be bringing it up at all.
"Uuhhh..." Danny looks wildly around the table as he continues making his stupid noise. Think, think, think! There must be a way out of this!
"Danny?" Tim asks, looking concerned.
"Oh, Ancients, this isn't how I wanted it to go at all," he mutters, slipping even further into his chair. He's almost on the floor now and he so, so wishes it could just swallow him up.
His real first meeting with Batman was meant to be cool! He had planned to be Phantom, maybe save them from a tight spot, prove his worth as a mysterious and powerful ally as thanks for the help Batman gave him in the future.
"Danny, what are you talking about?" Tim starts tugging on his sleeve in an attempt to pull him back up from his pit of despair.
Eventually, Danny relents and sits up straighter, hiding his face in his hands and whining all the while.
"I'm sorry, I just didn't expect him to be here and it threw me off so now I look stupid and it's so embarrassing!" he wails, flailing his arms wide. "Why wouldn't you warn me that Batman was your adopted dad, Tim? Couldn't you have let me know?"
"I'm sorry, what? Danny are you alright? There's no way Bruce can be Batman, look at him!"
"Yeah," the blonde girl laughs from the bottom of the table, "look at him! That's a wet noodle of a man! Batman can actually do things, B is incapable of pretty much everything."
"Thank you, Stephanie," Bruce sighs, massaging his forehead.
It's... Those are the first words Danny's heard Batman say since everything went down and it's enough to knock him out of his embarrassment.
It's really good to hear his voice again. Especially now, when it's strong and healthy and full of personalityâeven if that personality is little more than a tired father right nowâfar better than how it had been, at the end.
Danny sits up, back straight, and grins. He's got this. He remembers it perfectly. Some people count sheep to fall asleep, Danny repeats his mantra to be certain that he'll never forget it.
"Gamma alpha upsilon tau iota mu epsilon, 42, 63, 28, 1 colon 65 dash 9."
Once again, the whole table falls into silence.
"Holy shit..." breathes the other D name (Duke? Danny's pretty sure he's Signal) from opposite Stephanie. "Isn't that...?"
"The time travelling code." The littlest Wayne says stiffly. "We have met in the future?"
"That's not just the time travelling code, Dami." Dick says, looking between Danny and Bruce. "That's the family time travelling code."
Danny's grin freezes in place.
"I'm sorry, what?"
"1 colon 65 dash 9." Dick explains, still flicking between him and Bruce. "It means you've been adopted into the family and we should all treat you as such, no questions asked."
"Tell you what, I'm about to ask a question." Danny says, dumbstruck. "You just told me it was a code to identify time travellers, not anything about being adopted! What the hell, B?"
Bruce looks about as shellshocked as Danny feels.
"We must have been close," he says finally, after opening and closing his mouth like a fish out of water a few times.
"No! Not that close!" Danny reels back, taking a deep breath ready to refute it all, but... "Well, I mean, you found me when I first got stuck, and you helped me get better despite being... And then we fought together against the, uh, bad guy, before he, um, he... before you couldn't."
An uncomfortable beat passes while they all pick up on what Danny tried so hard not to say.
"So, you're not from the future, then, you travelled there and came back?" Tim asks, breaking the tension and leaning forward with a glint in his eye.
"Yeah, it was a whole end of the world thing, but don't worry about it," Danny says with a hand wave, "It's all kosher now, won't ever happen."
"What did happen?"
"Seriously, don't worry about it, we cool."
"How long in the future was it?"
"About ten years? You were pretty spry for an old man, B," Danny laughs, wishing they'd get off the topic of what happened and get back to the adoption bit.
Everyone shares degrees of a cautious smile as they relax out of the shock, and Dickâwhose grin is the biggestâsays, "No wonder you got the family code, you're already riffing on him like one of us. How long were you there for?"
"A week, before I managed to get back to my present and stop him then."
"A week? Jeez, B, that has to set some kind of record, seriously."
"Oh!" Danny says, sitting bolt upright and blinking in surprise before pointing at Dick and bouncing in his seat. "You're Nightwing!"
"What?"
"That's exactly what Nightwing said when Batman told me the code! Makes so much more sense now."
Dick laughs and claps his hands, delighted.
"You were not formally adopted?" The grumpy small oneâDami?âasks, his face pinched.
"I didn't even know I was informally adopted."
"And your parents? Are they alive or dead?"
"Damian, stopâ"
"They were dead in the future, but they're alive now." Danny says, looking down. He fiddles with the tablecloth, twisting the fabric around his fingers as he fights down the pang of sadness that he always feels when he thinks of them now. He forces a bright smile on his face and hopes it doesnât look too strained. "I just, uh, can't talk to them much, anymore."
"Damian," Dick warns, "1 colon 65 dash 9. Treat them as family, no questions asked."
"This is Damian treating him as family, the little turd has no manners." Tim scoffs, rolling his eyes, but he gently bumps shoulders with Danny to knock him out of his funk. Danny can't help but send him a watery smile.
"I have the most exemplary manners, Drake, unlike some people." Damian spits, crossing his arms with a pout. "I was merely ascertaining his status to see how he could possibly fit into the family."
"I know this is all a bit sudden, Danny," Bruce smiles, ignoring Damian and reaching out to lay a warm hand on his arm, "for all of us. But if I felt strongly enough to give you that code after spending a week with you in the future, then you are more than welcome in this family, if you so choose it. I think I can speak for all of us when I say we'd like to get to know you a bit more."
"I know a threat when I hear it, Bruce." Danny snorts. "But, yeah, I get it. I'm sorry this is all so weird, it really wasn't how I wanted to find you again, but... I'm glad I did."
"So are we, Danny." Dick says, with a warm smile. "And formally or not, 1 colon 65 dash 9 means you're family. Welcome to the fun house! No take backs or refunds, sorry. You're stuck with us."
#BUT HOLY SHIT I LOVED ALL OF THIS#im sorry for rambling so much but hot damn i got excited it gripped me#love you wolfjackle i love this so so much#uGH YOU DO ANGST SO WELL#i am ashamed đ#its so good!!!!#time travel family code au#Danny breaks down upon seeing Bruce again and alive#a very awkward hug hello
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Not saying âI love youâ back to the Squid game men.
How will they react if you donât say it back? In what scenario would they not say it back to you?
Pairing: The Recruiter, Thanos, Nam-gyu, Dae-ho, Gi-hun, In-ho x gn!reader
Summary: Them not saying âI love youâ, their reaction to you not saying âI love youâ
Genre: fluff, a lil bit of angst sprinkled on top
If youâre interested, hereâs more fluff! Calling the Squid Game men some weird petnames and their reaction to it!
(Pre-Squid game)
Ëâ§âââşËł
Gong Yoo // The Recruiter // The Salesman
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âĄâ Him not saying I love youâŚ
It barely ever happens, really. He adores everything about you, from your face, voice, body and the ground you walk on; that man is ready to worship you like a devoted follower would to the most merciful goddess. Therefor he would always be aware of how to make your day a little better, even if itâs just a small âI love youâ or a gentle kiss here and there.
The first thing you hear from him in the morning is a groggy voice mumbling a small âGood morning love...â into your ear while warm kisses were trailed down your back.
While standing in the kitchen and searching the fridge for any signs of a tasty breakfast, a small âI love you, Iâll be back later!â would echo slightly through the apartment as the front door closed.
Once, he did forget to say his usual I love you on the way out. He thought about how he possibly could forget? Youâre probably overthinking everything now and think what you mightâve done wrong or do to offend him. You didnât, though! He was just too caught up in perfecting his appearance because his damn hair refused to obey and submit to his meticulous styling.
The poor man was almost scared to come home. As some sort of peace offering, he bought some of your favorite take-out food alongside some dessert, flowers and a new bracelet he thought you might like. Anything to try and make you know that he does really love you.
âApologies, it completely slipped my mind. It will never happen again my sunshine. I love you.â
Ëâ§âââşËł
âĄâ You not saying I love you backâŚ
His face may be neutral and his expressions calculated but his features soften up immensely when you show even an ounce of affection. His smirk shifts into a dreamy smile, the crinkles around his mouth shifting and becoming bigger, his eyes twinkling just a little. He just canât suppress when you even look at him.
Your kisses and words energise him, gift him life, so whenever you donât give him that little boost of dopamine, he gets visibly more tense in a way.
The silence that followed after his usual âI love you my darling, Iâll be back later!â was almost eerie to him. He stuck his head back into the kitchen to check if you even heard him. You glanced back at him for a moment and gave your husband a dismissive head nod. So you did hear him?
Silently, he left the apartment and went on with his usual day during that time of the year. For some reason, today he is especially looking forward to slap his elders for loosing a damn childrenâs game. His face remained neutral and had his usual smirk on his face, but deep inside, heâs offended, confused, worried, stressed; all the negative emotions someone can feel after their spouse doesnât reincorporate ones affection.
Do you want a divorce? Because hell no, heâd never let you go no matter how hard you
But once he got a little text message on his phone that read a simple: âNeed cuddles in bed later pls. Got some snacks too. Love you.â, all of his worries washed away in an instant. You probably were still too sleepy to answer this morning.
A smile spread over his face as he thought about slipping into your arms tonight. Isnât it ridiculous how he melt like putty in your hands?
âYou forgot something this morning and it did worry me a lot. But it doesnât matter, itâs silly anyway.â
Thanos // Su-bong // Player 230
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âĄâ Him not saying I love youâŚ
Itâs actually quite rare to hear Thanos say âI love youâ word for word. He still feels awkward committing himself to the relationship you have and those three magic words feel so heavy on his tongue, so heâll rephrase them to suit his level of comfort. âLove yaâ, âThanos loves youâ and âMe tooâ are his ways to dodge the action to reincorporate those sweets words you shower him with.
Thanos only really says âI love youâ if you two are alone, sober and you holding him in your arms. To be cradled by someone he admires, cares and loves so much makes him want to cry for some reason, but he suppresses those emotions and instead buries his face in your shoulder as your hand soothingly runs up and down his back.
Those are the times you hear a small âI love youâŚâ being mumbled against your warm skin.
So quiet itâs almost unnoticeable, yet it was there. You know Su-bong needs time to get used to everything, so youâll settle with a small audio message-rap in reply to your usual âI love youâ text message.
âBack to the kitty âcause she kinda pretty, I canât stop looking at her ti- ti- ti-face.. Anyways, thinking of you babygirl. Iloveyatoo.â (You barely caught him saying this the way how quietly he mumbled it into the mic)
Ëâ§âââşËł
âĄâ You not saying I love you backâŚ
Itâs fine. Itâs cool. You donât have to reassure him every day that you love him, itâs totally fine. You still love him like you did the day before.
It causes a deep panic inside of Thanos when you donât give him his usual âI love youâ text in the morning after he had woken up. He kept checking his phone like a madman, while he was brushing his teeth, peeking his arm and head out of the shower in the middle of shampooing, staring at his text messages while microwaving himself an convenience store meal. Nothing.
Not wanting to reach out first and appear clingy, he decided to write you like he is not having a full blown eternal panic attack. A small voice message here, a picture of his food there, a selfie from the bottom to show off his double chin, anything really.
You replied like normal but still, his eyes searched for the three key words. I. Love. You.
Thanos doesnât want to admit to himself or to anyone for that matter that your calls, texts, hell, you coming over is like the most addictive drug to him. And he had his share of all kinds of colourful drugs.
His foot was nervously tapping the ground while his finger kept ringing your poor doorbell until you were forced to answer. He gave you a close look up and down, his lips formed into a pout of sorts.
âYou okay? You didnât text me you love me this morning. Itâs totally cool and all but like⌠do you want to break up with me or something?â
Nam-gyu // Player 124
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âĄâ Him not saying I love youâŚ
Similar to Thanos, at first, Nam-gyu barely ever told you how much he loved you, liked you even. He just assumed you already knew and his actions were enough. A small side hug there and ruffling your hair here had to be enough for the rest of the week anyway.
He is guarded, afraid of commitment and to be frank in belief that youâre using him for the longest of time. Maybe youâre just âdatingâ him to get access to high-end drugs, all kinds of clubs or whatever else reason there is there to date him but for love.
You had to say those three magic words first for him to get comfortable with the thought that you are actually just want to date and love him. It came to him in the middle of a night shift at a random club he was supposed to promote. A moment of enlightenment.
Nam-gyu hid in a bathroom stall with his phone and ignored whatever the couple was doing next door, writing you a whole paragraph about what he was thinking, feeling, before deleting everything again because he thought heâd come off as some kind of pussy if heâd sent that.
His first time telling you how much he loved you was at your place. A casual evening watching some random movie you picked out while being arms deep in a bag of chips and dressed like a homeless person, Nam-gyu was staring up at you as if you were the most beautiful person in the universe even during this ungraceful moment of yours, admiring you in silence until finallyâŚ
âI love you.â
Ëâ§âââşËł
âĄâ You not saying I love youâŚ
Did he fuck up again? Do or say something wrong? Donât you love him anymore? Was there someone else?? His thoughts go ballistic as he stared at the screen of his phone with a deadpan-expression, trying to shake the crippling fear and nervousness off while looking nonchalant.
Nam-gyuâs finger kept hovering over the call button to check on you in case something happened because there could be a whole other person talking to him by how there were no affirmations at all.
He doesnât want to appear clingy or too attached to you as that may scare you off or even disgust you, so Nam-gyuâs casually mention that one time you didnât say âI love youâ while fidgeting with his ring, trying to appear indifferent about it while intensely watching your facial expression shift to try and detect if youâre lying about your reasoning or not.
Your boyfriend is afraid to not be good enough, too much, too little. Your little affirmations give him reassurance, every day a little more until heâs full convinced that you do really, really love him.
âHey, uhhh. Did you forget anything today?⌠No? You sure? Mkay.â
Dae-ho // Player 388
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âĄâ Him not saying I love youâŚ
Never happens. Either he is dead and not able to reply to you or already said it multiple times throughout the day. Dae-ho has separation anxiety and gets nervous when he doesnât have you in line of his sight or not around him in general, thatâs why he always tells you how much he loves you whenever he can.
Off to the bathroom? I love you. Bringing the trash out? I love you. Getting dressed? Youâre gorgeous and I love you. You could be simply existing and Dae-ho would bury his face in your neck and mumble a soft I love you into your warm skin, his lips planting a soft kiss here and there.
Dae-ho is just a little scared about saying his usual affirmation in front of his family, mostly his father. Heâs a very affectionate and physical man but he still wants to look like the tough-marine-son his dad wants to see.
His sisters know better though, they see how their brotherâs eyes twinkle in delight when you help his mom out in the kitchen with the dinner.
He does make it up to you after coming home though. Your boyfriend will stuff the leftovers his mom gave him into the microwave and usher to you made yourself comfortable on the couch while he makes some preparations to completely pamper you for the rest of the evening.
Sometimes Dae-hoâll even try to flirt a little but heâs still a little awkward in that department.
âHey, do you want some snacks with that? A drink? O-Or am I enough of a snackâŚ?â
Ëâ§âââşËł
âĄâ You not saying I love youâŚ
Every time Dae-ho tells you that he loves you, you always reply with equal enthusiasm. How could you not? That golden retriever of a man gets that almost childish smile of his whenever you kiss his cheek or just tell him that he looks handsome today.
Once, you tested how heâd react when you donât give him his hourly dose of dopamine by deflecting or ignoring his touches.
As his arms securely snaked around your waist and gently pulled you against his torso, you paid him no mind and continued to stir the ramen in the food container. He watched the noodles move in circles and gave your waist a gentle poke, trying to pull your attention to him. Dae-hoâs eyes slowly dimmed and the edges of his smile turned downwards.
The silence made him seriously nervous. You could feel his rapidly increasing heartbeat drum against your back.
âHey⌠is everything okay? Did I do something wrong? Iâm sorry. Can you talk to me?âŚâ
Gi-hun // Player 456 (post s1)
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âĄâ Him not saying I love youâŚ
Gi-hun always reassures you of his love, even during arguments. He wants you to know that he cherishes and loves you for the rest of his life and that you are his everything. Whenever he doesnât say I love you, something mustâve happened.
He has been missing for a whole week and you had no idea where your boyfriend went. Gi-hun didnât leave a note, a voice mail, no nothing!
And after he returned and suddenly began giving you expensive gifts, the same boyfriend that used to ask you for money to get himself an convenience store dinner, now began buying you new headphones, bracelet and whatever else you even eyed.
It was nice, sure, but you were more worried about his mental state. He was paranoid and quiet, kept checking his whole body for some kind of tracker and barely ever spoke what was on his mind. Gi-hun began having panic attacks and you were barely able to leave his side because of how terrified he was to leave you alone.
He barely touched you, gave you kisses or affection. He changed after whatever happened during that week he went missing.
While running your fingers through his hair, trying to make him fall asleep after being awake for two days straight, he sleepily stared up at you through his dyed-red hair. His voice was quiet, broken almost.
âIâm sorry. Please⌠know that I love you. I love you so much.. Donât leave me, please⌠please...â
Ëâ§âââşËł
âĄâ You not saying I love you backâŚ
Your boyfriend called out to you but you didnât quite hear what he said, so you replied with an âyeah!â and just hoped that thatâs an appropriate response to whatever he tried to tell or ask you. It wasnât.
Gi-hun stood there for a couple of moments, waiting on your reply to yelling âI love you!â across the whole apartment. When nothing came, he didnât call out to you again. You were probably busy with something or donât want him with your right now, he gets that.
Later though, thoughts of self-doubt began to cook up inside his mind. As he bit all his nails to shreds he overthought about how you had enough of him now. Maybe you are falling out of love now after how the death games fucked up his mind and body. Youâre surely fed up with his paranoia and secretive behaviour, how much he has been obsession over finding a weird salesman. Surely.
The metallic taste that spread inside his mouth after biting the skin surrounding his nails began to open and bleed finally pulled Gi-hun out of his self-destructive thoughts that continued to circle like a toy train. Picking up his throwaway phone and choosing the one contact he saved on every single burner phone he had as âReason to smile â¤ď¸â and pressing the call button.
âGi-hun? Whatâs wrong?â Your voice forced a small smile to form on his face. He hesitated
âHey. Just wanted to ask if I should bring some take out home tonight. Thatâs all.â
In-ho // The Frontman // Player 001
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âĄâ Him not saying I love youâŚ
Itâs purely just to tease you. When bored, In-ho will make you his greatest entertainment.
He likes making you annoyed and flustered, so heâll intentionally ignore you just to make you react and pout at him adorably while he was trying so hard to keep his stone cold face and not break into a shit-eating grin and maybe even pull on your cheek to make you whine even more.
In-ho adores your whole being and cherishes all of your affections, so heâll let himself get showered in them any tome he can.
Expect you to he cuddled up on his lap while he was leaning back in the leather chair, mumbling a complaint about how you covered his whole face in kisses but managed to miss the bridge of his nose. He will not allow you to move off his lap until you covered his whole face in kisses again as compensation for that mistake of yours.
So, In-hoâll intentionally not give you affection so you pay even more attention to him. He is like a cat in that way weirdly enough.
Once you finally break his facade, the flood gates will open and you will be showered, bathed, drowned in his affection, physical and verbal.
âFine. Iâll say it just because youâve been so good to me today. I love you, my dearest, lovely darling.â
Ëâ§âââşËł
âĄâ You not saying I love you backâŚ
In-ho has a dedicated frequency on his walkie-talkie for you, so he can call in and ask you to come to his office for a kiss that cannot wait, to inform you that he is in the bedroom and retiring for the day or just to tell you that he loves you randomly throughout the day.
Of course, youâd always reply back with your own gadget, but to pay back his infinite teasing he has done to you, you decided to ignore him the way he sometimes does to you. Payback.
Your husband called into your frequency. âDove, are you free right now? Come to my office, I miss you.â and so your game begins. You simply ignored his request and continued getting comfortable in your bed and all the sheets surrounding you, grinning to yourself as you awaited the next time In-ho calls in again, for which you donât have to wait long for.
âDarling, I am waiting. Do you want me to send someone to pick you up?â Your grin widened as you heard how impatient he was slowly getting with the lack of your response. âI can see you in the bedroom.â That one caught you off guard. Did he install cameras in your shared bedroom??
Almost on cue, your bedroom door opened, revealing the masked Frontman. His shoulders were tense and you could feel his intense state through the mask. You stared back, not expecting how quickly your husband would cave in and visit you himself. Innocently, you batted your lashes at him.
In-ho slipped his mask off and carelessly tossed it on the nightstand. âWhy are you ignoring me? Are you upset or just moody?â Unimpressed, you silently glared at him. He gave you an equally uninterested look and leaned down to your face to give you a small peck on your cheek. âNot enough. More.â
A chuckle escaped his lips as his lips cracked into a smile.
âDemanding, arenât we? Fine. As you wish.â
đ
Authorâs note. Thank you for reading <3
Watch me announce that Iâm going to post In-hoâs yandere profile and proceed to get hit with the most ungodly group-assignment in Chemistry. Anyways, take this as an apology! Had to write a little fluff for them since the only thing Iâm finding is smut đđ Iâm not complaining but this fluff prompt came to me like a truck during a class of mine. It was originally inspired by this post and I made a similar one before for the Demon Slayer hashira. Check it out if youâre interested!!
Anyways, make sure to EAT, SLEEP and DRINK enough!!
Take care of yourselves <33
#đ house of vry đ #đ squid gameđ #recruiter x reader#salesman x reader#salesman x you#salesman x yn#squid game x y/n#squid game x reader#gong yoo x reader#thanos x reader#thanos x y/n#thanos x you#su bong x reader#player 230 x reader#player 230#nam gyu x reader#nam gyu#nam gyu x you#gi hun x reader#gi hun squid game#gi hun#player 456#player 456 x reader#in ho x reader#frontman x reader#frontman x you#the frontman x reader#the frontman#player 001#young il x reader
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Good Luck Babe
poly!marauders x nerd!female!reader
summary: after being a wallflower throughout your first five years at hogwarts, you always thought that you could be invisible. but when you hear the marauders talking cruelly about you and proceeding to ask for your forgiveness after, well good luck babe.
warnings: eventual smut! 18+ heavy angst, cursing, reader wants to kill the marauders , swearing, unprotected sex, praise, oral (male receiving), jealousy
a/n: oh hey... this is kinda based on those cliche 2000's movies where the girl is ugly but not really and she has that glow up or whatever. this was written so quick and not proofread, don't kill me. i hope you enjoy and as always, i apologize if you hate this!
STARTING off your sixth year at Hogwarts being an entirely new person wasn't something that you had planned or expected.
On the inside, you felt exactly the same, the same girl who was bold and could ferociously win a fight when it came to her character.
The same girl who was witty and sarcastic, surprising half of the people around you when you made a joke once in a lifetime.
But on the outside, you didn't have an awkward mis-shaped bob and you no longer wore baggy jackets that didn't do a thing for your figure.
And you didn't hide your face anymore, trying your best to be invisible.
It wasn't that you were shy or that you felt like a loser but you thought social hierarchy was bullshit and the only thing you wanted to focus on was your studies.
You may have been a brave Gryffindor on the inside but on the outside, you had to play the part of a shy mouse as corny as that sounds.
Unfortunately for you, invisibility only tends to last for so long until one moment, you are a nobody and then all eyes are upon you.
And maybe, just maybe, if you hadn't heard the Marauders discussing you the previous year, you would have stayed the same.
You had passed by the boys dormitory to give Remus his textbooks back as you always did when you let you borrow when you heard them speaking of the very person behind the door,
"I still have yet to understand why Lily and the rest of them act like she's some charity case," James huffed, "I mean, she's not some sick patient, they only feel the need to pity her because of how she looks."
You always knew that James had a foul mouth but to be speaking about someone like this, it was cruel.
Remus hissed, "That's not nice Prongs,"
"I'm not even saying it to be a dick!" James groaned, "I just mean, I pity her more for the fact that they don't even invite her to anything outside of breakfast and dinner," He explained, causing Remus to go silent.
Sirius chuckled, shaking his head. "That's absolutely horrid."
James reclined on his bed, a smirk playing on his lips. "Iâm just saying, if I were Y/N, Iâd be mortified."
Your eyes widened as they began to water, they were speaking about you.
Remus leaned against the wall, a thoughtful expression crossing his face. "Maybe she just doesnât want to hang out with Lily and the others."
"Moony, seriously," James shot back, sitting up. "Where is Y/N right now, and where are the other girls?" His eyebrow cocked, trying to make his point as Remus silenced.
Sirius raised an eyebrow, a glint of mischief in his eyes. "Why donât we investigate for ourselves?" He unfolded the Marauder's Map with a flourish. "Alright, weâve got Lily, Dorcas, Mary, and Marlene all at Hogsmeade, but Y/N is..." His voice trailed off, eyes narrowing.
James leaned closer, annoyance creeping into his tone as he grabbed the map, "She's-" He stopped, the color fading from his face.
"Fucking spit it out!" Remus said next as he snatched the map finally and saw that the map had shown that you were right outside their door.
"Shit!" You heard Remus say as he started making his way to the door.
Hearing his footsteps approaching, you quickly moved away from the door, bolting for your room.
Once you made it back to your dorm, you had sinked the floor. You put your hand on your mouth, muffling yourself as you cried silently.
You honestly hated to even say it but you did consider Lily and the rest of them your friends. You had never really thought about how they didn't invite you to places.
And if you were being truthful, they had never asked you to have breakfast or dinner with them.
You had always just assumed that you could join but they never told you to leave or swooshed you off. Another part of you hated how stupid you were, trying to intrude on their private time.
You didn't want to let it get to you what a bunch of seventeen year old boys were saying but it did sting horribly.
But in a way, it also motivated you to be who you were on the inside. You already had the top marks in your entire year and your plan to work in the Ministry after Hogwarts had already been set.
And now your chance to be something at Hogwarts was right in front of you, an opportunity that you couldn't miss.
You had to do it for yourself.
The Marauders had no idea who you truly were or even cared to know. And although Remus was kind to you, you could always see that he never made any effort to be your friend.
Not that you expected him to but it only taught you that they truly thought you were some hopeless case.
And an assignment to make the Marauders bite their tongues was one that you couldn't bare to fail.
After hearing that, you decided to avoid the Marauders for the next month, especially with summer break approaching. To your surprise, you barely saw them outside of classes, never giving them a chance to reach outâeven Remus.
And then that summer, everything changed. You let your hair grow past your shoulders, embracing your natural curls instead of straightening them. You started wearing clothes that were trendy and form-fitting, a huge contrast to your old style.
You discovered a newfound love for self-care, enjoying the process far more than you expected. Each day felt like a transformation, and by the end of summer, your mother couldnât help but notice. âFinally listening to me about your style, huh?â she teased.
You only laughed as you embraced her,
If only she knew what had caused it in the first place.
As you said goodbye to your family, anticipation mingled with dread. You knew the train ride would be the least of your worries, but the welcome dinner and the ceremony ahead felt like they might just be hell reincarnate.
As you entered Hogwarts, you admired it as much as you did when you were a first year. The castle was something you considered a second home and everything about it was magical, there was no doubting that.
A crowd of students, including yourself, moved toward the Great Hall, and you settled into your usual seat at the Gryffindor table.
You spotted the Marauders and the usual group of girls approaching, and you couldnât help but roll your eyes. They took their usual spots in front of you, with the girls on one side and the boys on the other. James sat beside you, and Lily was directly in front of him.
You never quite understood why they arranged themselves like that, but it hardly mattered in the moment.
They were busy in conversation before James had noticed someone next to him, his eyes widening. You couldn't quite read his face but it seemed like a mix of confusion and flustered.
You stared at him back but he still had yet to mutter a word. You cleared your throat, "Uh hello," You practically whispered.
He snapped back into reality, "Oh sorry, hi," He muttered back.
Silence took over you both as James couldn't find the words of what to say to you.
On one hand, he wanted to call you beautiful, to tell you that you were one of the prettiest girls heâd ever seen. On the other, he just wanted to stare at you for a few more minutes like a creep.
Lily noticed his gaze and leaned in, smirking. "Excuse my friend; weâre still trying to figure out if he has a brain."
"I thought we solved that decades ago," Marlene chimed in, stifling a laugh.
Lily turned to you with a curious smile. "I donât believe Iâve seen you before. Whatâs your name?"
Are you actually fucking kidding me?
You scoffed, "I'm Y/N,"
The entire group looked at you in awe, even the ones who weren't chimed in on the conversation.
"Y/N L/N?" Sirius asked, mouth gaping.
"Yep, that one," You snorted.
They all looked like they had seen a ghost, "You look different," Marlene said as Mary shoved her.
"She means in a good way!" Mary added.
"Uh thanks," You said, awkwardly.
They all continued to stare at you like you were an exhibit in a museum, their eyes scanning you up and down.
"Do you all mind not staring at me?" you asked, trying to break the tension. They all looked away, feigning innocence as they muttered apologies.
"How have you been?" Lily asked, clearly trying to ease the awkwardness.
"Fine," you replied, your tone clipped.
You caught the pained expressions on the Marauders' faces, realizing they were the reason for your dismissive attitude.
"That's great," Lily said, forcing a smile.
You felt a wave of frustration at the awkwardness surrouding you and decided it was time to escape. "I'm gonna go to the bathroom," you announced, heading toward the exit before they could respond.
As you walked away, you could already here the mutters and whispers emerging from the table, the fascinating topic being you.
You paced as you heard footsteps trailing behind you, but you ignored them, letting your gaze wander around the castle.
"Y/N!" someone called out, startling you.
You turned to see Sirius, James, and Remus hurrying after you. You only let out a snort before continuing your same way.
A hand suddenly reached around your forearm as you turned to see Remus. You quickly snatched your hand away, finally stopping to look at the group of boys who you despised.
Crossing your arms, you shot them a hostile look. "What?"
"We just wannaâ"
"We're soâ"
"Listen, we justâ"
They all spoke at once, but you scoffed and turned back toward the bathroom, starting to walk away.
You were hoping that they would realize you wanted nothing to do with them but instead, it only made them want to chase you more.
They quickened their pace, and you spun around sharply. "For fuck's sake, what do you want?" you snapped.
James took a breath, his expression earnest. "I'm sorry for what I said. I've been thinking about it since you left. I was an awful twat, and you didn't deserve a thing of what I said."
You let out a sarcastic laugh, "Are you serious?" You asked as your expression changed to furious, "You basically called me a loser and said that Lily and the rest of them were only hanging out with me out of pity,"
James hissed as your statement, feeling the razor in your voice.
"-And now you all want to act as if I should just forgive you since I don't look the same anymore," You got closer to James's face, "Fuck off."
You turned your heel again and this time, the boys didn't follow you.
You finally entered the bathroom and shut the door behind you. Staring at your reflection in the mirror, you struggled to read the expression on your face. You were furious at the Marauders, and the idea of forgiving them felt impossible.
Yet, there was a flicker of gratitude that you felt for the change youâd undergone. Youâd gained a new confidence that felt good, but the sting of their cruel words still lingered in your mind.
And you knew that you couldn't let it get to you but knowing they thought that of you, even Remus. It still did things to you that you would never admit out loud.
Snapping out of your thoughts, you realized it was almost time to head to the dormitory.
The rest of the night had flown by, with first years being introduced to their new home for the next six years while everyone else relaxed in the common room. Despite curfews, fifth years and above knew they could hang out longerâthe curfew was mostly for the first years anyway.
"Caput Draconis," you muttered, and the Fat Lady nodded, granting you entrance.
Stepping into the common room, your heart sank as you spotted the last group you wanted to see. They noticed you just as quickly, encouraging you to pick up your pace toward the dorm.
"Hey, Y/N!" Dorcas called out, making you wince as you turned to see her waving.
The Marauders looked down, shame etched on their faces, avoiding your gaze as if you were Medusa.
You approached them slowly, dread settling in your stomach as they eyed you like a science project.
"We were just about to play a fun little game," Dorcas said enticingly, while Marlene snorted beside her.
"I donât know if Spin the Bottle is a great idea for the first night back," Marlene added, taking a sip of her beer.
"A little peck never hurt anyone," Lily chimed in, clapping her hands together.
Of all people, youâd never expect Lily Evans to approve such a thing. This was the same girl who nearly fainted when she heard about Marlene and Dorcas kissing the previous year.
"I donât know if this is the game for me," you replied, eyeing the group warily.
"Of course it is!" Lily insisted, but you raised an eyebrow. "Oh my gosh! Not like that, I just mean it's a fun game for us all to play," she quickly added, looking flustered.
Part of you wanted to say no and retreat to your bed, but that was the old you, and you knew it wouldnât help. This was a new year, and you were determined to embrace new experiences.
Besides, youâd never participated in any scandalous games for all of the years you've been at Hogwartsâit felt like a crime in itself.
So, after a momentâs hesitation, you said, "Okay, sure." The girls erupted in cheers, while the Marauders exchanged worried glances.
What if you had to kiss one of them? Would you refuse and create a scene? Would you want to strangle them for even suggesting it?
The possibilities raced through their mind, but there was no turning back as everyone began to form a circle.
As you sat in the circle, a shiver of nervousness enveloped you. You had never kissed anyone before and the whole thought made you nervous within itself.
Don't get it wrong, you've had chances but they never seemed right and you certainly weren't kissing Matthew Trunchbull underneath the bleachers of the Quidditch field.
So when you got offered a shot of firewhiskey to cool your nerves by Marlene, you took it happily as it burned down your throat.
You brushed off all the negative thoughts entering your mind,
What really is the worst thing that could happen?
#marauders era#james potter#hp#hogwarts#harry potter#singmyaubade#remus lupin#sirius black#tw mature#poly!marauders#poly!marauders x reader#poly!marauders x fem!reader#james potter x reader#remus lupin x reader#sirius black x reader#marauders x reader#poly!marauders x sub!reader#poly!marauders x girlfriend!reader#poly!marauders smut#smut#harry potter imagines#remus lupin fluff#james potter smut#sirius black x james potter#remus lupin x james potter#daddy!remus#daddy!sirius#sub!reader#marauders#james potter x y/n
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Ex at Christmas
violet "vi" x female reader â đŹđđŤđ˘đđŹâ đŚđđŹđđđŤđĽđ˘đŹđ
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summary: you've been invited to spend the christmas with your ex-girlfriend's family. only one problem is that your ex-girlfriend has not told anyone that the relationship is over. only one problem is that your ex-girlfriend has not told anyone that the relationship is over. (requested by anon) warnings/themes: fluff and angst, found family af, fake dating, ex lovers, christmas, family gatherings, secret santa, everyone is alive and happy au, modern au vi just begging for you to take her back? words: 17.3k.... (i got carried away) notes: it's so long i should've cut it into parts but idk where... so suffer (âĽďšâĽ) â ⊠part one, part two
As always, the last drop is a lively spot. warm, cozy, and familiar. Colorful lights hang from the ceiling, a decorated tree stands in the corner, a 'merry christmas' painted on the wall, even a few strings of garland have been hung from the low ceiling.
People are crowding around the bar. Some are playing pool, some are simply chatting amongst themselves, cigarette smoke curling up toward the ceiling.
Vander's voice snaps you from your thoughts. âLook who finally showed her face around here.â He reaches over the top of the bar to ruffle your hair.
âI know, I know.â You laugh, swatting his hand away. âThings are just... busy, y'know?âÂ
Vander rests his forearms on the countertop, leaning closer to you. âJust making sure you're still alive. âBeen an awful long while since I last saw you.â
âI've been fine, old man.âÂ
âGlad to hear you're doing alright kid. Haven't seen you around here in, what, three months? You need to come by more often, keep an old guy company.â He chuckles. âI almost thought you'd vanished.â
âYou sound like a grandma with kids that never call.â
Vander grins and winks at you, taking a rag and wiping at the bartop. âYou're like a kid to me, so I guess it checks out.â
You scoff but say nothing, leaning against the bartop as your eyes start to travel across the room. A few people mill about that you recognize as regular patrons, but other than that, there's pretty much no one of interest.
Vander snorts and lifts the rag to his shoulder. âWe're having our christmas gathering again this year, you should swing by. Just like last christmas, eh?â
A lot has changed for you in the past month, and you've been dreading this coming up. âI... don't know. I don't think so.â
Vander raises an eyebrow. âWhat do you mean you don't know? Not up to seeing the old gang again?â
âNot exactly,â you murmur, the memory of the breakup is still fresh. It's not that you don't want to see your friends, it's just the idea of seeing Vi again. âIt's not that, I just... things have changed, especially recently. I don't want to... accidentally make things awkward or something.â
Vander shakes his head and it almost seems like he's laughing at you. âWhy would it be awkward?â
âI don't knowâŚâ You sigh, your shoulders slumping in resignation. âNevermind it, I'm going.â
Your words get a smirk out of Vander, and he reaches over to poke your arm. âThat's what I like to hear.â He gives you a wink, folding his arms across his chest. âYou better show up or I'll drag you here myself. You know I could.â
âLike I'd let you drag me here, old manâthere's no way your back can handle that.â
âAh, you kids these days have no respect for your elders. You're gonna break my old back and then I'll die,â he pretends to sniffle, making you scoff.
Silco then walks over, looping his arms around Vander's shoulders. The two of them exchange a knowing glance before Silco turns his attention to you. âLook who actually decided to show up.â
Vander laughs as he pats Silco's arm. âCut the kid some slack. They're just here to have a good time.â
Silco chuckles, his eyes still on you. âSo are you coming on Christmas?â
You rub at the back of your neck, and just as you're about to answer, Vander beats you to it. âYeah, she's coming,â he confirms.
Silco hums, he lifts his arm from off Vander, resting it in his hip instead. âGood, I was beginning to think you were going to weasel your way out of it.â
Vander smacks his shoulder. âLay off, would ya? let the kid breathe.â
Silco relents and waves his hand dismissively. âI'm just saying.â He looks back at you. âWe all want you there, you know. It wouldn't be the same without you.â
Hearing them say that makes you feel guilty for even considering not going. You know they mean it. You just hope it won't be too much awkward with Vi there.
Vander nods and smiles. âHe's right, you know. Everyone's been asking about you. They'll be happy to have you there.â
âI get it. You don't have to butter me up, old man.â
Vander chuckles, then he glances over his shoulder, gesturing to a small, unassuming box on a nearby table. âHey, could you grab that little box over there for me?â Silco smirks and nods before moving to get the box, bringing it over and handing it to Vander.
âWhat's in the box?â you ask.
Vander grins at you, holding the box in his hands. âWe're doing a secret santa,â he explains, âand since youâre coming that means you're participating too.â
Your eyebrows raise to your hairline. You'd completely forgotten about the secret santa. You groan in annoyance, running your hands over your face. âI'm still annoyed I got that whoopee cushion from Powder last year.â
âThat was a good one. She was so damn proud of herself too, and besidesâŚâ Vander pauses, turning to look at you. âYou never know, you might get something less annoying this year.â He then holds the box out to you, a smile on his lips.
There's always the possibility you won't get something shitty, but knowing most of your friends... Yeah, that's unlikely.
You look at the box, then up at Vander. You take the box from him. âI hope you're right, old man.â
Vander chuckles before stepping back to talk to Silco.
You turn the box over in your hands, feeling the weight of it. It's not too heavy, and you feel compelled to shake it. But if you do that, you'll probably end up drawing Vander's name, and that's basically cheating.
Sighing, you decide to just bite the bullet. You take the lid off the box, sticking your hand inside. Your fingers rummage around before they eventually close around a folded piece of paper.
You pull out the slip of paper, unfolding it slowly. You glance at the handwriting, then almost roll your eyes.
Of course you got Vi.
Out of all the names you could have drawn, you get the one person you didn't want to get. You could have gotten literally anyone else. Mylo, Claggor, Powder, Silco, or anyone other than Vi. but no, you had to get your ex. Just your luck.
You look at the note again, and the first thought that comes to your mind is...
Well, crap.
You're so focused on the slip of paper in your hands that you don't notice Vander and Silco peeking over your shoulder.
âSo, who'd you get?â
Vander's question makes you jump, you quickly stuff the paper into your pocket before they can see who it is.
âNo one,â you say, waving your hand to dismiss the question. âIt's not important.â
Silco raises an eyebrow. âThen why are you pocketing the paper?â
âIt's a secret for a reason.â
Vander and Silco glance at each other, and you can tell they're silently communicating.Â
Vander turns back to you a moment later, rubbing his jaw. âA secret, huh? Well, that means whoever you got won't know it's you.â
Silco hums. âThat's probably a good thing.âÂ
âThat's kind of the point of a secret Santa.â
Vander nods, scratches his beard before his lips turn up in a smile. âTrue means you can give them something real nice.â
Silco glances at Vander before looking at you. âWhoever you got is probably going to be very happy when they get their gift.â
You almost snort at Silco's words. Yeah, right. a gift from you? Sheâll probably chuck it straight in the trash.
You run a hand through your hair, trying to shake the thoughts of Vi out of your head. You don't know why you're worried about how she'll react. Why care if she'll like the gift? Why care if she's happy with whatever you get her?
The answer is so obvious, but you don't want to admit it even to yourself.
Vander and Silco are still looking at you, and you realize that you have to say something. Any longer and they might figure it out.
You push those thoughts away. âIf they'll actually like it. I'm not the best with gifts.â
âOh, I'm sure they will,â Silco says, a knowing smirk on his face.
Vander nods. âJust give them something from the heart.â
From the heart, my ass. The only thing you want to give her from the heart is a kick in the ass.
âBecause someone's gonna be real happy with something from me.â
Vander and Silco exchange another look again, like they're having an entire conversation without actually saying anything.
You turn away from them, looking out the window. They're probably trying to read your mind, figure out who it is you got. The thought makes your eyes twitch. You don't want them to know. You don't know why, but you really don't want them to know.
âJust do us a favor,â Silco suddenly says, cutting into the silence that had fallen between you. âTry not to stress too hard about it. You'll give yourself gray hairs.â
Vander chuckles at Silco's words, âYou'll give us an old heart attack.â
âHa ha, funny.â
Silco grins at your response. âWell, we're only half-joking.â
Vander's eyes soften. He slaps Silco's shoulder to get him to shut up. âWhat he means is, you overthink too much,â Vander adds.
Yeah, so what if you overthink? It's a normal thing to do. Especially in situations like this, where you're stuck with the one person you don't want to be.
Why keep thinking about her? You need to stop obsessing over her. She made her choice, and it wasn't you.
You run your fingers to your face, trying to think of something else to distract yourself. It's not like you don't know what you want to get Vi. You just don't know if you should get it.
âI don't overthink,â you grumble, shifting your weight on your feet.Â
âOh yes, you do.â
And they're both right about that. You can't even count how many times you've paced around your apartment, replaying every interaction you had with Vi over and over again in your head. Every word, every touch, and every look. All of it, it's like your brain refuses to let you forget.
You've spent countless nights trying to figure out where you went wrong. What you could have done differently if there was something you could have changed. All of that, just because of one person who tossed you aside without a second thought.
âListen,â Silco says, snapping you out of your thoughts. You look over at him as he stands up straight, a smirk spreads across his lips. âYou're going to drive yourself crazy thinking about something that hasn't even happened yet.â
âHe's right,â Vander gives you a look before continuing. âAnd for the love of God, stop overthinking.â
If only it were that simple. If only you could just switch off your brain and stop thinking about everything. But you know damn well you can't do that. Your thoughts are as uncontrollable as the weather, and right now, they're a mess.
You take a deep breath, trying to calm your thoughts. âI should probably go,â you mutter, and the two men nod.Â
Vander pats you on the back as you start for the door. âSame place, eh?â he calls after you.Â
âDon't think too hard, kid,â Silco adds.
You give them both a nod as you exit the bar, shutting the door behind you.
Christmas is going to be one hell of a mess this year, you can feel it.
Now all you have to do is figure out how the hell you're going to deal with it.
â
You're standing outside of Vander and Silcoâs house, the weight of the present in your hands suddenly feeling a thousand times heavier.
You've replayed this moment in your head countless times, but now that it's happening for real, you're not sure if you're ready.
Christmas music drifts out of the house, it's a familiar tune that you've heard a million times.
You push down the anxiety gnawing at your stomach. You shouldn't be feeling so nervous, it's just a gift. Just a present for a secret santa.
But this isn't just anyone, this is Vi. The one person who you didn't want to get. The one person who broke things off without a second thought.
Stop thinking about this. It's just one night. one stupid night, and then it will be over. You can get through this, you can handle being around Vi for one Christmas. No more thinking about her. No more wondering where you went wrong or if you could have done something to change things. Just get through the night and forget about her.
You take another deep breath, straighten up, and square your shoulders. Then, in one moment, you push open the doors to their house and walk inside.
Your eyes search the room, looking for that familiar pink hair. But you don't see her. Your shoulders relax a little. Maybe she's not here yet. That'll give you a few minutes to brace yourself. No one is around right now, probably in their rooms or preparing for the dinner.Â
You were so distracted by looking around that you didn't realize someone was standing right behind you until they grabbed you and spun you around. Your eyes meet their powder blue ones, and your mouth suddenly goes dry.
âWhat the hell are you doing here?â
âWoah, hey-â you stumble over your words.
âDon't 'woah hey' me,â she snaps, her grip tightening on your arm.
Vander's deep voice cut in before you could even speak. âYou've actually came.â
You feel her look away from you, her hand finally falling from your arm. As soon as it does, you rub the skin where she grabbed you.
Vander looks between the two of you and says, âHand me the gift, kid. I'll put it there.â He gestures towards a christmas tree where the gifts are already sitting underneath.
You quickly hold the present out for him to take.
He takes it before giving both of you another look. âGo easy with your girlfriend, eh?â
You freeze, your heart stopping as his words register. Your eyes widen as you slowly turn your head to look at Vi.
Girlfriend?
âI will.â Before you can even process what's happening, you're being pulled outside.
You yank your arm back from Vi, quickly putting some distance between the two of you. âWhat's your problem?â
She spins around and scoffs, looking you up and down. âI should be asking you that. What the hell are you doing here?â
âVander invited me. He asked me to come.â
âThen you should've said no.â
âWow? just wow.â You take a deep breath, trying to stay calm. âI know that things didn't go well between us, but you don't get to push me out of this family. They're my family too, and Vander invited me here to celebrate. I have as much right to be here as you do.â
You refuse to break eye contact with her. âYou can ignore me all you want, but you don't get to decide how I'm allowed to spend my Christmas. If you want to keep acting like this, fine. Ignore me, pretend I don't exist, just like you've been doing for the past months.â
Vi lets out a laugh, rubbing a hand on her forehead. âThey do not know.â
You blink at her. âWhat do you mean?â
She looks over at the entrance and says, âThey all think we're still together.â
Your eyes widen. âWhat?â you almost shout. âWhy the hell would they think that?â âBecause I didn't tell them.â She scoffs. âEvery time I talk to them, they ask me how you are. Silco and Vander keep making comments about how we make a cute couple. They still think we're together.â
âWhy the hell didn't you tell them?â You glare at her. âWere you ever going to?â
âI don't know,â she retorts, throwing her arms up. âThey're all so happy about us being together.â
âThat's such bullshit,â you snap at her. âThat's such a crappy excuse! You should be the one to tell them we broke up.â
She looks away, planting her arm on her hips. âDon't you think I know that?â she shoots back. âIt's not that simple. I can't just rip off the bandage like that.â
âIs that it? Youâre scared that they'll know?â
âDonât act like you donât know how Silco and Vander can get.â
âI know how they get,â you snap back at her. âYou're just too much of a pussycat to face them and tell them the truth.â
Her expression hardens, and her jaw clenches. âLook who's talking. You can't even say no to a little family gathering, but here you are.â
âI didn't come here because I wanted to see you. I came for the family, not for you.â
âAs if I wanted to see you either. The last thing I wanted was to have to deal with you all night.â
âFine, you know what? I'll go tell them right now that we broke up. They deserve to know.â
She grabs your wrist before you can take a step towards the door. âWaitâ
You look down at her hand, then back up at her. âWhat?â
âDon't,â she says through gritted teeth. âJust... don't tell them yet.â
You scoff, ripping your arm away from her grip. âWhy the hell not? So they can keep thinking we're still together?â
âJust don't tell them tonight. Can you just give me until after Christmas?â
âWhy are you still dragging this out? What difference does it make if we wait till then or do it now?â
âBecause it's fucking Christmas!â she snaps before dropping her gaze. âLook, it's the holidays. I just... I don't want to ruin Christmas. They've all been looking forward to all of us celebrating together. I don't want to ruin it by spoiling the fun.â
âWaitâlet me get this straight. You want to fake it this christmas? Pretend we're still a happy couple?â
She's quiet again. âYeah,â she whispers, looking down. âYeah, that's what I'm asking.â
âYou're unbelievable, Vi.â You take a deep breath, trying to keep yourself together. âDo you know how ridiculous that sounds? You're asking me to pretend like we're still together, to pretend that nothing has changed.â
âIt's just one day,â she mumbles. âOne day, that's all I'm asking for. We can tell them anytime after that, just not tonight, please.â
She even says please. Something about the way she says it makes your heart ache. She looks desperate, like this really means something to her. Who are you kidding? Of course, this means something to her.Â
They're her family, they're important to her. And on Christmas, all they want is for everything to be perfect. perfect food, perfect presents, and perfect couples.
You hate the way she's looking at you with those soft, pleading eyes. She always looks at you like that when she wants something, and you always give in. She does it subconsciously, knowing how to get exactly what she wants. And damn it, it works.
âFine,â you mutter. âYou've got your damned wish.â
And there it is. There's the look you've been waiting for. That look of relief that comes to her eyes.
You hate that look. You hate how your heart flutters when she looks like that. You hate it so much. âYeah?â
âYes, you've got me for tonight. I'll pretend like we're still together. Happy now?â
There's a flicker of a smile on her face, something quick that's gone before you can even register. âYeah, thank you.â
She looks away again. Silence falls between the two of you as you shift awkwardly.
This is gonna be a long night.
You sigh, watching as she keeps her focus on the floor. This is so damn awkward.
And it's your own fault for agreeing to this nonsense. There's no way this night doesn't end up being a goddamn catastrophe. You would give anything to just disappear right now.
Powder's voice snaps you out of your thoughts. Peeking her head out of the doorway, looking at the two of you. âHey, you two. It's cold out there, get your asses in here.â
You look at Vi, waiting for a sign of acknowledgment.
She slowly glances up, her gaze meeting yours. âCome on,â she murmurs, holding out her hand.
Taking a deep breath, you take her hand in yours.
You've held her hand so many times beforeâmore times than you can count. Holding her hand used to be nothing, but now it feels so odd. So awkward.
But she doesn't seem to notice how out of place it feels. She slowly leads you towards the door, squeezing your hand as she pulls you along.
âHow are my favorite love birds doing?â Mylo's voice greets you as you both enter.
He slings a casual arm over your shoulders, leaning on your shoulder to get a better look at you. âIt's about time you two showed up. I thought for sure you were just gonna keep making out in a corner somewhere.â
It takes everything you have not to elbow him in the stomach. Instead, you keep a neutral expression and chuckle awkwardly, âYeah, you know us. Can't keep our hands off of each other.â
âYou two are sickeningly in love, it's really cute, actually.â
Your eye twitches, and you bite the inside of your cheek.
âYeah, we're very in love,â Vi says, and you can tell she's trying not to roll her eyes.
Mylo claps you on the shoulder before releasing you. âWell then, I'm going to go find myself some eggnog.â He leaves towards the kitchen, whistling to himself as he goes.
You turn to look at Vi, and you almost feel a twinge of hatred towards the way she so casually holds your hand, like nothing is wrong.
âAre you okay?â
Her voice brings you back to reality, and suddenly you're all too aware of how hard you're clenching your jaw and the fact that you're basically just glowering at the floor with a storm cloud over your head.
You raise your eyes to meet with hers, and you have to force yourself to release some of the tension. âYeah, fine,â you mutter. âjust coldâ
It's a lie, obviously. It's not cold at all. Vander always keeps the place nice and warm.
Not even she's dumb enough to fall for that. She glances around, clearly noticing how you're not really hiding your feelings well.
She runs her thumb over the back of your hand. It's an innocent gesture, one that you've seen dozens of times before. It's not meant to be anything special, it never was. And yet, it still makes your heart skip a beat.Â
You have absolutely no idea how you're going to get through this night with both your sanity and your heart still intact.
âOkay,â she finally says, âcan you stop clenching your jaw so hard? you look like you're trying to grind your teeth down to the bone. I know this isn't the ideal situation, but please don't go around looking like you want to kill everyone in this room.â
Her fingers squeeze your hand, and you realize just how tightly you're holding her hand in yours. Your knuckles are white, and your fingers are probably digging into her skin.
Gritting your teeth, you loosen your grip.Â
âThere, that's better⌠please try and just relax for a bit. This is going to be hellish already, so I at least need you to not look like you hate me every second we're in here.â
You look away from her. âPlease don't act like you care.â
âI'm not acting like I care,â she says, a tone just loud enough for only you to hear. âI do care, and that's the problem.â
Of course she has to say something like that right now. Of course she has to hit where it hurts the most.
Care? care about what? about you? about what she put you through, how she broke your heart?
You open your mouth, but your response dies in your throat. You have no idea how to respond to that.
A loud shout interrupts your thoughts, and you both turn around. âOi! Time for dinner!â Powder yells from the doorway into the kitchen.
Vi mutters under her breath, âfinally.â
Powder grins as she waves you both over. âHurry up or Vander will eat everything and complain about his bad back afterwards.â
âWe're coming,â Vi calls back.
The two of you head towards the kitchen. There's a long table in the middle of the room, covered in a red and green tablecloth. Everyone is already crowded around the table, taking their seats as you two enter the room. Vander is at the head of one of the tables, Silco seated beside him. Mylo and Claggor are chatting amongst themselves as Powder takes her seat beside Claggor.
Vi looks at the seating arrangement and sighs, realizing what's about to happen. She pulls you over to the table and sits down, pulling you down into the seat right next to her.
After a few moments, everyone quiets down and turns their attention to Silco.
Silco places his hands together. âIt's good to see everyone together like this today. I am thankful that we are all here, safe and healthy.â He glances around the room in a quick survey, seeming to count everyone's attendance. âAnd what better time to be together than the holidays?â
Powder huffs. âCan we just eat? I'm starving.âÂ
Silco raises his hand for Powder to stay quiet. âPatience, Pow. First, let's do something a bit⌠different.â
Mylo and Claggor glance at each other in confusion. âDifferent?â Mylo repeats.
âIndeed,â Silco replies. âInstead of just diving into our meal, I thought it would be nice if we all took a moment to share a few words about what we are thankful for this year.â
âWe're really gonna do this?â
Claggor nudges him. âBe polite, Mylo.â
âHe's right, though,â Powder chimes in.
Silco raises an eyebrow at them both. âIs it really such a hassle to express gratitude at the end of the year?â
Mylo and Powder grumble something under their breaths.
Claggor is the first one to respond. âI think it's a fine idea.â
âThank you, Claggor,â Silco replies, âI'm glad we have at least one cooperative person here.â
After a moment of silence, Vander speaks. âAlright, then I'll go first... I am grateful for my family,â he says as he looks around the room. âI am thankful for my health, for my business, and most of all, that everyone is still here with me and safe.â
âThat's so soft,â Powder says, but everyone ignores her.
Vander turns his head and looks directly at Silco, as if he's saying something that's meant to be for Silco's ears only, though everyone can clearly hear. âI'm also thankful for you, Sil,â he adds, the corner of his mouth twitching in a knowing smile.
You're not sure if you're the only one who noticed, but that comment definitely seemed personal and almost a little out of place.
He collects himself quickly and nods at Vander, seemingly not quite sure of what to say. âThank you, Vander.âÂ
Silco clears his throat and composes himself, turning his gaze to Powder. âHow about you, Pow? Any words of gratitude?â
Powder groans, slouching back in her seat like a child who's been forced to eat her vegetables. âI swear, if you make me say something corny-â
Mylo leans over the table to look at her sister. âSay something nice for once, or you're not getting dessert.â
âUgh, fine. I am thankful forâŚâ She looks around the room, taking in everyone's faces. âI'm thankful everyone's here and we're all... whatever, happy and healthy or something like that,â she mumbles.
âI'll take whatever I can get,â Silco mutters before turning his attention to Claggor. âWhat about you, Claggor?â
Claggor seems to be taking a moment to think, like he's actually putting effort into what he will say. âI'm grateful forâŚâ His eyes are almost unfocused as he thinks. After a moment, he glances up to look at Vander. âI'm grateful for the family I have here.â
Vander gives him a warm look in response.
Everyone's gaze turns to Mylo, expecting him to go next.
He fidgets anxiously, shifting in his seat as he glances around the room. âWhat am I supposed to say?...er, fine... My whole life's a mess, but...at least all you idiots are here to make my life more miserable.â
âWe love you too, Myloâ Powder teases. âReal touching. I think I might cry.â
Mylo throws a glare in her direction. âShut up.â
Silco glances at Vi, his gaze lingering as he waits for Vi to speak.
âI'm thankful forâŚâ Her voice is quieter than usual, more hesitant. She glances at you before continuing. âI'm... thankful for the people I have in my life.â
Everyone's gaze settles on you next, waiting for you to say something. âWell, I... I guess I'm thankful to be able to still participate in this family gathering, even if I haven't seen everyone in a while.â You take a look at Vi before moving on. âHopefully I can still be here and spend Christmas with all of you next year too.â
She holds your gaze for a moment, almost as if she's processing what you just said⌠and then, unexpectedly, a smile forms at the corner of her lips.
It's a subtle change, barely noticeable, but you see it. and just seeing her smile, even a small one like that, has butterflies filling your stomach. It's been so long since you've seen her smile like that. A part of you misses it, a part of you yearns to see it more often.
She quickly looks away, and you notice that her cheeks have turned a light shade of pink.
âThere, we all said our little cheesy bullshit,â Powder says, clearly getting impatient.
Silco turns to Powder, his expression disapproving. âLanguage, Pow,â he reminds.Â
Vander sighs. âYes, Powder, mind your languageâ he adds, earning a mock-offended look from Powder.
âLike you don't swear all the time.â
âI do not swear all the time, Pow,â he protests, although you know it's a lie. Even the most proper and upstanding people swear, and Vander is definitely not that.
âYeah, yeah, sure.â
Vander huffs but chooses not to add anything. Silco lets out a dry cough to redirect everyone's attention. âRight, now that that's over, let's go ahead and eat, shall we?â Silco says, as if the whole moment of gratitude never happened..
âFinally,â Mylo grumbles, âI was starting to wonder if you forgot about why we all gathered here.â
Silco gives him a look. âPatience is a virtue, Mylo.â
âWe've all been patient for the last hour, so spare me.â
Claggor sighs, but thankfully Mylo and Powder seem to settle into silence for the time being.
Silco nods in approval. âThen, shall we begin?â
Vander gets up from his seat, moving to go grab the food.
Powder and Mylo look at Vander expectantly, and they both look like they're about to get out of their seats. Silco gives them a warning look, silencing them before they can get a word out. âWait until everything is ready.â
They both grumble, but they obediently sit back down. They're impatient, sure, but they at least know better than to piss off Silco.
Vander returns a moment later, setting a platter filled with food on the table. It looks delicious, and the smell is mouthwatering. Your stomach growls a little, reminding you of how hungry you are.
Powder and Mylo are practically drooling, and you honestly wouldn't be surprised if they lunged for the food the moment Silco gave the word.
Thankfully, he doesn't give them any chance. He simply says, âPlease, help yourselves,â and Silco has to gesture for them to wait.
They almost get up and move to the table, and they're clearly resisting the temptation to shove each other to try and get to the food faster.
Mylo lets out a curse, and Jinx giggles in response. Vi stands up and grabs both of them, grabbing onto their shoulders and holding them back from each other.
âEnough, you two,â she scolds, âthere's plenty of food for everyone. Chill out.â
They look at her with expressions that clearly are saying, 'no, we're hungry'. Powder lets out a huff, and Mylo looks like he's one more remark away from shoving her sister.
Vi's expression sharpens, her eyes boring into Mylo and Powder. âNo, quit the bullshit, you can wait a few minutes, and if you two can't act like adults about it, neither of you are getting any.â
Mylo immediately shuts up at that, his expression turning more guilty. Powder just looks like she's about to protest, a pout forming on her face. Vi glares at Powder to shush her as well.
âJust quit it,â she says. âYou can wait, the food will taste better if you don't shove it all down your throats like dogs.â
âFine, we'll wait,â she grumbles.
Mylo just nods with a pout, staying quiet.
Vi seems to notice their looks, and she rolls her eyes, staying put just in case. She seems wary as she watches Powder and Mylo, her eyes switching from them to the food on the table.
And sure enough, the moment Silco gestures for everyone to get their food, Powder and Mylo are gone, rushing to claim their plates.
Powder and Mylo shove each other for their own plates. No one says anything though, they're all just used to it. This is just how Powder and Mylo are, and they've come to accept it. Vi doesn't even seem as bothered as everyone else does.Â
Mylo seems like he's really close to just pushing Powder to the side and snatching up the slice he wants, and Powder doesn't look any better. Honestly, if Vi didn't step in, there was a chance they'd start throwing punches.
And judging from how the others' looks, especially Silco, they look like they're expecting this.Â
It's like this is all completely normal, they know to expect this kind of behavior when food, and more importantly, free food, is involved.
Powder and Mylo finally settle down after their little fight, and they finally begin digging into the food.
Mylo is practically shoving it into his face, eating it like he's been starved for weeks. Powder isn't any better, although at least she's not making a complete mess.
Claggor is significantly slower when it comes to eating, choosing to take his time as he slowly eats as opposed to just shoving the food into his mouth.
Vander eats at a decent pace, and he doesn't seem as starving like Mylo is.
The last one to begin eating is Silco, and surprisingly, there's a smile on his face. He takes one look at how Mylo and Powder are chowing down on their food, then he turns his gaze and looks at you, as if silently asking if you're going to eat.
You take the hint, and you decide to dig into your own food. The food is delicious, and you can't blame Mylo and Powder for basically trying to swallow their food whole.
Vi also begins eating now that everyone's settled down.
Vander laughs, his eyes crinkling up at the corners. âSlow down a little, you two, the food isn't going anywhere.â
Mylo and Powder both raise their heads at that, and they both look like they're considering it for a moment... but they immediately go back to shoving food down their throats.
Claggor shakes his head as he watches them eat. âYou'd think they'd never seen a Christmas dinner before.â
âYou know them, they would scarf down all the food in town if they could.â
Powder glances up at that, a small pout forming on her lips. âHey, it's not our fault we're just starving.â
Mylo nods in agreement, his mouth too full to say anything.
âYou both just had eaten before this,â Claggor counters.
Mylo swallows whatever food is in his mouth long enough to argue with Claggor. âAnd that was hours ago.â
âYeah,â Powder agrees, âit was practically an eternity since we ate.â
âTwo hours is not an eternity,â Claggor retorts.Â
âIt might as well be,â Powder counters.
Despite the bickering and arguing the dinner feels oddly... domestic, almost.
Claggor looks like the responsible and mature oldest sibling who's done with his siblings nonsense, Vander almost acts like a tired parent, Silco acts more like a stern aunt, and Powder and Mylo act like rowdy kids who are constantly at each other's throats.
Vi sits next to you. She's making sarcastic comments with Silco, laughing at Powder's jokes, and making small talk with Claggor. She even gives Mylo an unimpressed glare when he tries to snatch all the bread for himself.
It's like you're both back to normal. The way she's acting makes your heart ache. She's giving you all the attention a partner would give.
She gives you fond smiles whenever you make a comment, she casually slides an arm around your shoulders, she even scoots her chair a little closer to yours.
Her eyes are soft, her voice is soft, whenever you look at her, she looks back with this affectionate look.
It's so normal, that it almost takes you back to your relationship and how you two were before the breakup.
She's even doing little things, like leaning closer to you, letting a hand rest on your thigh, even discreetly grabbing your hand and intertwining your fingers with hers under the table.
You want to hold her tight and never let her go, but your brain keeps reminding you. You two aren't together anymore.
But when you look at her, when she looks at you with that look in her eyes, everything goes quiet.Â
Maybe it could work this time.
Maybe you two could just bury the hatchet and move on.
Maybe things could work between you two if you try it out again.
Then you remember the fights, the nights you spent on your bed, crying while Vi was out with friends. You remember how she treated you after the breakupâhow she tossed you aside like discarded trash.
You try to ignore it, push it to the back of your head. But it's so hard when Vi sits next to you, close enough for you to catch the scent of her perfume. She smells like cigarettes and leather, something that's so her.
You're so focused on trying to stop yourself from touching her or even getting closer that you're almost surprised when she suddenly leans her head against your shoulder.
She doesn't say anything, just leans against you. She's pressed against your side, her shoulder against your shoulder, her head against yours, her hand on your thigh.
You notice her scent again, now stronger.
Her hair brushes against your neck, the way you can feel the warmth of her body, and the way her thumb draws little circles into your thigh.
She's so close, and yet you want her even closer.
You want to run your hands through her hair, you want to nuzzle your face into her shoulder, you want to feel her hands roaming your body.
You just want her.
Your thoughts are suddenly interrupted by Powder, her question pulling you out of your head. âIt's been a while since we've seen you two together,â she says, her mouth still full of food.
Claggor shoots Powder a look. âPowder-â
âShush, I'm just wondering,â she argues, shrugging casually, âhas she been avoiding you?â
âNo,â you say before anyone can say anything. âWe just... haven't had time to schedule any dates, that's all.â
âFor months? Haven't had time to schedule a single date for months?â
âLife gets busy, y'know,â you reply, trying to sound nonchalant.
Mylo scoffs at that. âYou two are dating, the least you could do is at least manage one date a month.â
Claggor smacks him over the head. Mylo grumbles and rubs the back of his head, shooting his brother a glare. âWhat? it's true,â he mutters. âWe just kind of... we all miss you.â
Vander gives Mylo a disapproving glare. âWhat Mylo means is, your presence has been sorely missed around here.â
âWe all just... we just want you around more,â Powder puts in her two cents, speaking around a mouthful of food again.
You cast a sidelong glance at Vi. You and her are putting up a pretty good facade so far, but Mylo's question seemed to have put her on the spot a little. She catches your glance, and you give her a look that says, just play along. Vi sighs, her hand squeezing your thigh.
âLook, I-â She glances around the table, meeting everyone's eyes before sighing and putting on the most believable expression. âI know we haven't been as... present as we should have been for the past few months. Work just got really hectic.â
âThat's true,â you back her up with a nod. âI had to travel away for a business trip a few weeks ago, so it's been pretty hard to find time to spend together.â
Vander, Silco, and Powder all nod in understanding. They're aware of the fact that you have a job in a big city, so it's not an unbelievable explanation.
Mylo, however, snorts and crosses his arms. âYou don't have to feed us some lame excuse for not hanging out with us.â
Claggor gives Mylo another smack. âWould you shut up already?â
âOw!â Mylo grumbles as he rubs his head again, shooting Claggor a dirty look.
Vander sighs. âRegardless, it's good to have you here for Christmas this time.â
Everyone nods and agrees. Powder grins at you, Silco shoots you a small almost-smile, and Claggor and Vander both look genuinely pleased to have you here.
All eyes then land on Mylo, and he shrugs again, mumbling, âI guess it is good to have you here.â
âSee, it's a christmas miracle, Mylo isn't being a little prick for once,â Powder teases.
Mylo scowls at her. âHey, I'm never a little prick-â
âBullshit.â
Mylo just grumbles again, his eyes narrowing at Powder. âI just think that-â
âNobody cares what you think,â Powder interrupts again.
That just causes Claggor, Vander, and Silco to laugh. Vi snorts next to you, squeezing your thigh.
The conversation soon changes to talking about old childhood holiday memories.
Mylo tells a story about him stealing Silco's secret chocolate stash when he was twelve. Silco scowls at the memory, but there's a hint of a smile at the corner of his mouth.
Powder tells a story about the time she accidentally burned the back of Vander's hair with a roman candle. Vander laughs and shakes his head at the memory.
At some point, Claggor chimes in to tell a story about a time he and Mylo accidentally broke a window during a snowball fight. Even Mylo himself laughs at that one.
There's lighthearted banter, friendly jabs, and just a lot of laughter in between. This, this is what it should have been like from the beginning. It reminds you of the way it used to be when you were all younger, but still has a different air to it. In a way, it's almost better than those old days. Everyone's grown, but there's still that same energy that always connected you all as a family... it just feels fuller.
You don't know if it's just the christmas lights playing tricks on your mind, but you swear you can see the faintest tearful sheen in Vander's eyes. He's always had a bit of parental pride and love toward all of you, but seeing you all sitting here together, happy... damn, it must bring back a lot of memories for him.
Silco even looks less grumpy than usual, his mouth twisting into a barely visible smile as the rest of the table continues talking. Yeah, this is how christmas should beâŚ
It almost makes you forget that all of this is fake, almost makes you forget why you and Vi aren't together anymore. It's almost like just for tonight, you can pretend like things are back to how they used to be.
But you know this will not last. When everything is said and done, when christmas night is over and you're all saying your goodbyes, you have no doubt in your mind that you and Vi will go your separate ways again.
You glance at her, taking in the sight of her laughing with the rest. Her eyes are bright, her smile is big, and her entire face lights up with joy.Â
You bite the inside of your cheek, forcing your heart to quiet.Â
Vi must notice you looking, because she glances over at you. She's looking at you with that look again. You recognize it so easily.
That look... that damn look she's giving you again. The look that makes your heart stutter against your ribs, the look that makes your stomach twist into knots. It's a look that almost makes you want to lean forward and kiss her.
You almost give into your urges. You almost reach out and push a stray strand of hair out of her face, you almost do something to kiss her, almost.
But you don't, you can't. That would spoil the whole 'still dating' facade, and besides.... you have boundaries.
You give her a nod, offering a small smile, and you swear that you see disappointment flash across her eyes.
She looks like she wants to say something, her hand tightening over your knee again, but she seems to change her mind and just smiles back.
Maybe it's just a figment of your own imagination, you think to yourself. Maybe it was a trick of the light or something.
Claggor reaches over to grab something from the middle of the table, and Silco clears his throat. âHow about you two?â he says it casually, like he's just making small talk, but there's a hint of concern in his voice. âAny... any problems between the two of you lately?â
You and Vi both sit up straighter. âProblems...?â Vi repeats.
Silco just shrugs, playing it casual. âI don't know, I'm just wondering... a lot of couples who have been together for as long as the two of you have.â He trails off, but everyone at the table knows the implications.
Mylo grumbles. âI swear, if you start talking about how high the divorce rate isââ Claggor elbows Mylo, and he shuts up.
Silco just chuckles. âOh, I'm sure you two can last.â
Powder rolls her eyes. âThese two have been together since forever. You guys were like... practically attached at the hip, from day one.â
âYeah, we were like that, weren't we?â Vi looks back at you.
âYeah,â you say with a casualness you don't feel. âYeah, we were.â
Silco hums. âI remember when you two first started dating.â
âOh, do you remember that?â Vander says, looking at Silco. âI remember the two of them coming to me the day they decided they were going to be official.â
Claggor nods. âYeah, and they were so... so mushy. All 'you're mine' and 'we're never going to break up,â he puts on a mock high-pitched voice, imitating you and Vi
âThat was the worst,â Powder groans, shoving food into her mouth.
Mylo grins and elbows Claggor. âHow many times did you have to stop them from making out all over the bar again?â
âWay too many times.â
âBy the way,â Mylo says. âYou two aren't doing anything for new years, are you?â
You and Vi exchange glances. â...we haven't made plans yet,â you say slowly, trying to think of excuses.
âOh, you should come join us then,â Mylo says, leaning back and stretching his arms. âAll of us are getting hammered down here for new years, you two should come.â
âYeah, it'll be fun!â Powder pipes up, eyes lighting up. âYou guys will come, won't you? promise you'll come.â
You open your mouth, trying to wrack your brain for excuses, but before you can say anything-
âOf course we'll come.â
You turn to look at Vi, and she just gives you a shrug.
Mylo grins. âGood, good! That'll be fun.â He sits up and points a finger at you both. âI swear, the two of you used to be so much fun at parties, it's like you both went boring when you got older.â
âHey, just cause we're getting old doesn't mean we suddenly became party poopers,â Vi says defensively. âWe're still fun.â
Mylo cackles. âAre you now? I never see you two do anything anymore.â He leans back in his seat. âEver since you got that fancy shmancy job, you've been too busy to have any fun.â
âWe know how to have fun, we haveââ you pause, trying to think of the word, âresponsibilities now. Responsibilities that a certain someone is too dumb to understand.â
âI understand responsibilities, but I understand the concept that if you don't get wasted while you're young, then you'll wake up at forty, old and boring,â he says, looking at Silco and Vander. âAnd I want to make the most out of my young and reckless years. Meanwhile, you've already turned into an old, boring fart.â
You scowl at that, but Silco interrupts before you can respond. âDon't knock on old farts just yet. Some of us are old and still know how to have fun.â
âYeah,â Vander chimes in, nodding his head. âJust because we're old doesn't mean we don't know how to have a good time.â
Mylo rolls his eyes and waves a hand. âYeah, yeah, you old farts can still have fun. You just don't know how to have real fun anymore.â Mylo then pouts. âI just... I miss how it used to be, you know?â He sighs, resting his chin in his hand. âBefore all that adult crap, when things were easier.â
âEasier,â Powder mutters, poking at the remains of her food. âYeah, when we were broke and always hungry, real easy.â
Mylo reaches over and flicks her arm. âEasy doesn't always mean money, you dumbass.â
Powder scowls and smacks his arm back. âDon't call me a dumbass, you dumbass.â
âThen don't be a dumbass,â Mylo snaps back, smacking her again.
Powder smacks him again, harder. âDon't you dare call me a dumbass again.â
Before they can start another childish argument, Silco's voice cuts in. âEnough you two," he says, and they immediately grumble and fall quiet.
âHonestly, I sometimes wonder how the two of you aren't still in high school,â Vander says.
âThat's an insult to high schoolers, they're more mature than those two,â Claggor jokes, earning him a smack to the head from both Powder and Mylo.
He yells and puts his hands up in surrender, âow ow ow, ok ok! don't hurt me!â
Jinx and Mylo laugh, while Silco shakes his head. âSee what I mean? Children.â
âAnd they both insist they're mature enough to be out in the real world, independent and capable,â Vander says, and Silco chuckles.
âThey're still just as chaotic now as they were in high school,â Silco says dryly. âNothing has changed.â
Powder and Mylo both glare at him. âReally? like you two were that much better in high school,â she grumbles.
Silco raises an eyebrow at that. âWe certainly weren't as immature as some people,â he says pointedly.
âYou guys were probably just as bad as us, you just don't remember."
There's a pause, and Silco and Vander exchange glances before Silco snorts. He tries to bite back a laugh, but it comes out anyway, causing Vander to burst out laughing as well.
âI can't-â Vander wheezes between laughs. âI can't believe... you actuallyâŚâ
Silco doubles over, laughing even harder. After a moment, he manages to gasp out a few words. âOh, if you only... if you only knewâŚâ
Powder and Mylo exchange confused glances, while Claggor tilts his head. âWhat? what happened? what's so funny?â
The laughter finally dies down as Silco composes himself enough to speak. âNothing, it's nothing,â he says, waving a hand.
âAll right, all right,â Vander looks around the table. âI think most of us are done eating. Who wants to help with the dishes?â
There's a collective groan from the rest of the table. No one likes doing dishes.
Powder and Mylo immediately groan out a ânot it,â and Claggor follows up with âYou all know I'm terrible at dishes-â
âDon't look at me either,â Silco grumbles. Vander just sighs and shakes his head.
and that just leaves you and Vi... great, just great.
You're about to argue as well, anything to get out of being stuck in the kitchen with Vi, but she beats you to it. âYeah, we'll do it,â she says, before you can even open your mouth.
âOh, I-â you pause for a moment. You had been fully intending to dodge the chore, but now you can't without looking like an ass and leaving her alone to do dishes.
Vi stands up and picks up the nearest stack of dirty dishes, balancing them on her arms as she turns to you. She shoots you a look, like she's daring you to try and weasel out of helping.
You get the hint, shaking your head and standing up. This is absolutely the last thing you want to do right now.
You follow her to the kitchen, grabbing a few more dishes along the way.
She holds the kitchen door open for you, and you step into the little kitchen with its small stone countertops and simple appliances. You set the dishes down on the counter near the sink, turning to find Vi already rolling up her sleeves.
She's not looking at you, but when she starts to roll up the left side of her shirt sleeve, you swear you can see her eyes dart over to you for a split second.
You pause, staring at the side of her face. You can't tell if she's... no, you must be imagining things.Â
She clears her throat, raising one eyebrow. âWhat, you're not gonna help?â
âNo, no, I am,â you hurriedly say.
You're not going to look at her. Not at the way her forearm flexes when she reaches down to turn on the water, not at the way she bends over to grab some dish soap, and definitely not at the way her shirt tightens across her shoulders.
Yeah, you're definitely not going to look at her. Not at the way her fingers move when she soaps up the dishes, not the way her biceps flex when she bends her elbow, and especially not at the way her hair falls into her face when she scrubs at a stubborn stain.
Why is she so fit?
You look down at your own hands, watching the water and soap bubble up between your fingers. You start washing another dish, trying your absolute hardest to look anywhere except at her.
The minutes tick by in awkward silence, but eventually, your mind starts to wander. After all, washing dishes is pretty damn boring.
You glance over at her again, out of the corner of your eye, watching the way her shoulder blades shift under her shirt. The fabric of her shirt is stretched taut against her shoulders, and you wonder what she looks like under it if she still has all the same muscles....
Yeah, okay, you really have to stop staring at her.
âCan I ask you a question?â
Well, so much for not looking at her. Your head snaps up at the sound of her voice, and you force yourself to just focus on scrubbing at the glass in your hands.Â
âDepends what the question is,â you grumble, shifting a little.
You expect her to ask you something about your current life or something generic. What happened when you were gone, what life was like where you were?
Instead, she asks something completely left-field.
âDo you ever think about us?â
You tense up, the glass in your hands slipping a little in your grip. You were not expecting that question. Hell no, you were literally not expecting that question.
How are you supposed to answer that? yes? no? sometimes?
What was she even expecting to hear? did she want you to say yes, to say that you always thought about her, that you would've come back to her in a heartbeat if you could've? or did she just want to hear you say no, to hear that you moved on, that you had to move on because it was either that or let yourself fall apart?
âSometimesâ was definitely not the answer you would've given months ago.
Now, though? you would admit that sometimes, after a rough morning or a particularly lonely night, you'd let yourself think about her. You'd remember those nights you spent in her apartment, on her shitty couch, talking her ear off about everything and nothing, the nights where the two of you would sit on the couch and watch tv, her head resting on your shoulder, and you'd wonder if maybe... just maybe..
You wonder if she thinks about that kind of stuff too, if you cross her mind late at night when she's alone. You wonder if she still thinks about the nights where you would stay in bed together, talking for hours after a particularly good round, your head resting on her chest as she played with your hair, or the mornings where you'd wake up and find her making breakfast for you.
Yeah, you thought about her a lot.
But you couldn't say that to her. You can't tell her that you think about it all the time, about how sometimes you can't fall asleep because you miss the feeling of laying in bed with her, about how you always find your hands searching for her in the middle of the night. No, you absolutely cannot tell her that, no matter how badly you wanted to.
âI used to,â you say instead of letting your thoughts wander any farther. âNot anymore.â
You keep scrubbing, even after there's no longer any more dirt on the glass. Just so you have a reason not to look at her, just so you have a shield from the thoughts you know are brewing in her mind.
She's quiet, and you can feel her looking at you. Looking at you, reading you, trying to figure out if you're telling the truth or not.
After a few moments, she takes a breath like she's going to speak, but then stops herself. It's something you're all too familiar with. She's overthinking something, that much is obvious. She's trying to pick her words carefully, and damn, you just wish she'd spit it out.
The silence feels like it's been going on for a year, but really, it was only around a minute. Your knuckles are turning white from how tightly you're gripping the glass you're washing, and your shoulders are beginning to ache from how tense you are.
âWhat about you?â you murmur. âDo you... do you think about us?â You force yourself to look over at her, and you instantly wish you hadn't.
She's not looking at you now, she's not watching you suspiciously or anything like that. No, instead she's looking down, staring at the soapy water, and avoiding eye contact with you.
She's quiet for a second, her hands pausing in their scrubbing. âYeah,â she finally says, âI do.â
Her answer goes straight to your gut and twists deep inside you. You were absolutely expecting a solid ânoâ, hell, you were even preparing yourself for a cruel âgod, no.â
Anything, anything other than âI do.â
She continues scrubbing at a plate as if she hasn't just turned your world upside down. How are you supposed to react to her answer? do you say something, do you not say something?
âWhy?â the question leaves your lips before you can stop yourself.
âWhy do you think so?â
You don't say anything, you just shrug your shoulders. You genuinely don't know. You'd just blurted out the question without actually knowing what you wanted the answer to be.
Her eyes linger on yours for a few seconds, and you can't quite read them. She looks like she wants to say something, she looks like she wants to reach out and hold you, and you'd bet real money that if circumstances were different, she would've done exactly that.
Instead, she just averts her gaze back to the sink and lets out a sigh. âI don't know... I just do.â
You go back to scrubbing dishes. It's obvious there are a million things that you want to say, that you need to say.
âOh,â is all you say in response, and the word hangs in the air awkwardly.
You're both quiet after that. It's quiet, except for the faint music playing in the background and the sounds of dishes clinking against one another.
A few times, you catch yourself glancing over at her, trying to pick up any hint of what she could be thinking, what she might say next. But, every time, she stubbornly keeps her eyes down on the dishes she's scrubbing. It's frustrating, the way she just won't look at you, and what pisses you off most is the fact that you understand why she won't look at you.
You have a feeling that if she were to look at you, if she were to meet your eyes right now, she'd either burst into tears or shove you into a storage closet and kiss you until your lungs burned.
You don't know which one would be worse.
It's so quiet, so awkward. You're both just scrubbing and scrubbing, refusing to look at the other.
Every time she takes a breath, you look over at her, convinced she's about to speak. But, time and time again, she doesn't, and the only sound to come from her is a shaky exhale.
It's maddening.
The sound of Claggor's voice finally breaks the stifling silence, and you let out a breath you didn't know you'd been holding. He peeks his head into the kitchen, grinning widely. âYo, you two almost done here? Powder is about to get impatient.â
You're thankful for the interruption, and judging by the look on Vi's face, so is she.
âYeah, we're done,â Vi says, glancing up from the dish she's been washing for the last ten minutes.
You dry your hands off on a nearby towel, trying to look unaffected. âWe're finished.âÂ
Claggor grins again, âThank God, Powder is about to start biting people.â He laughs, then disappears back into the main room.
âThat sounds like her.â She chuckles, scrubbing her hands off on a towel.
âGuest we should head out there then,â you say, trying to get her to actually look at you.
She hesitates, still running the towel over her hands even though they're no longer wet. She looks down for a moment as if she's contemplating something, then finally lifts her head to look at you.
Her jaw is tense like she's forcing herself to stay quiet. After a few seconds, her features soften a little. âYeah.â
You want to ask her what she's thinking, you want to ask her why. Instead, you just push the door of the kitchen open and gesture for her to go first.
â
âNow that we've had an amazing dinner, it's time for the best part of the night.â
Everyone gathers around, now sitting either on the couch or on the floor. Powder and Mylo immediately get squished together on the floor. Powder mutters under her breath, âHey! you're shoving me!â
âOnly because you're taking up too much space.â
Vander smiles from his spot on the couch. âAlright! It's time for secret santa. Everyone remembers who they drew, right?â
A group of nods and hums go around as everyone pulls out the slips of paper that have the names they drew.
Vander clasps his hands together. âGood!â he says as he looks around the room, his smile getting wider. âWho wants to go first?â
A few seconds of silence, then Powderâs hand shoots up. As always, she's the most excited one. âme!â
Vander laughs. âWell, look at that, our little girl is so eager. Okay, you can go first, Pow-Pow.â
Powder smiles and scrambles off the floor, almost tripping over herself as she pulls a present from beneath the Christmas tree. She glances down at the tag and grins.
She then scans the room with a giddy smile, then her eyes land on Silco. She bounds over to him, practically shoving the present into his hands as she sits down on the floor next to his legs.Â
Silco smiles faintly as he takes the present. âAlright, let's see what you got me, hm?â He's quiet as he carefully unwraps the present, and Powder watches him who barely contains her excitement.
After a moment, the wrapping paper is set aside, and the present is now fully unwrapped. It's just a little box, though Silco is curious as to what's inside.
He glances at Powder as he takes the lid off the box, looking a little wary. Powder just grins at him. âGo on, open it,â she encourages.
He looks back at the box and, with a nod, reaches in and pulls out the item inside. He holds it in his hands and looks at it curiously, then looks at Powdr with a raised eyebrow.
She's still grinning, and she looks extremely pleased with herself. Mylo glances over to look and snorts out a laugh. âWould you look at that?â
Silco looks at the item in his hands, then looks at Powder again. âYou got meâŚâ he begins, trying to sound unimpressed. â...a shark plushie?â
Powder nods, her grin getting wider. âYep!â she exclaims, âI got you a little shark plushie. You like it, right?â
Silco glances at the plushie and then at her again, looking vaguely fond. He carefully sets it down on his lap, then smiles. âI adore it.â
Her grin somehow widens even more.Â
Silco chuckles, then looks around. âWho's next?â
Claggor shrugs, raising a hand. âI'll go,â he offers, to which Vander nods.
âGo ahead, Claggs,â he says approvingly.
Claggor gets to his feet from his spot on the floor, then moves to the tree. He crouches down and rummages around, looking for the present with the correct name tag.
A minute passes as a few minutes go by. He eventually stands back up, a small present in his hands. He looks around the room, then his eyes land on Mylo, who's now lying down on the floor and looking very bored.
Claggor moves over to him, tossing the present into his lap. Mylo looks up and catches the present, shooting him a glare. âYou couldn't have done that a little nicer?â he complains while sitting up.
Claggor just shrugs and gives him a flat look. âSuck it up,â he tells him bluntly before sitting back down.
Mylo scoffs and begins to unwrap the present, ripping the wrapping paper off carelessly. He tosses the wrapping paper away, then looks down at the present as he tears the box open. He's quiet for a moment, looking at the contents...
..and then he groans, covering his face.
âOh, come the hell on,â he grumbles, though he sounds more whiny than anything else. He glances up from his hands to give Claggor a withering look. âDude, seriously?â
âWhat?â
Mylo just sighs, shooting the toy in the box with a dismayed look. âReally? a stress ball?â
Claggor shrugs. âI thought it was a good idea,â he says, clearly not bothered by Mylo's unimpressed tone. âAnd you seem to be lacking a bit in the stress management department.â
âWell, excuse me for being a bit stressed when you're being a dick.â
âSee, you need the stress ball. You proved my point right there.â
Mylo just groans and throws his head back. He picks up the stress ball and squeezes it hard. âI hate you.â
Claggor merely grins. âI love you too.â
Mylo mutters something under his breath, too quiet for anyone to hear, then looks up as he addresses the group. âSo, who's up next? I'm sure there's some poor sap itching to go.â
Silco raises a hand. âI'll go next,â he offers.
Everyone glances at him, then nods and gestures for him to go. He gets up off the couch and saunters to the tree. He scans the presents beneath it, moving a few aside to find the one he was looking for.
He finally finds it and smirks to himself, grabbing the present and standing up. His eyes sweep over the group. He then turns and walks over to Vander, holding the present out to him.
Vander glances at the present, then at Silco, taking the present and curiously giving it a little shake. âWhat is it?â he asks curiously.
Silco just grins in a vaguely irritating way and sits back down. âJust open it,â he replies, his voice dripping with innocence.
Vander raises an eyebrow but begins to unwrap the present meticulously, occasionally shooting Silco a glance, as if expecting something. He peels away the wrapping paper to reveal a small box, then looks at Silco, his eyes questioning.
Silco just shrugs and gestures for him to go on. Vander quirks another eyebrow up but opens the box anyway, now intrigued.
Then a snort finally escapes him. He's now fighting to hold back laughter.
Mylo sits up suddenly, looking at Vander, then at Silco, curiosity in his eyes. âWhat? What is it?â he asks eagerly.
Vander doesn't answer for a moment. He's still staring into the box, looking like he can't believe what he's seeing. He looks up at Silco. âPlease tell me you're joking,â he implores.
Silco's smile widens. âI couldn't be more serious,â he replies.
Vander lets out a long, suffering sigh, then digs through the tissue paper and pulls something out of the box.
It's a pair of comically large underwear, one that could practically fit an entire person inside of it.
Vander groans, holding the underwear up and staring at them with slight disgust.
Mylo and Powder both start laughing once they register what the present is. Powder laughs so hard she nearly falls over, clutching her stomach as she howls with laughter.
Vi's eyes widen at the sight of the underwear, her mouth dropping open a little in surprise. As much as it pains her to admit it... she just knows the jokes that Silco is going to start making any minute now.
âŚand she's right.
âYou see, I thought it was a necessary gift.â
âNecessary?â Vander repeats, still holding the underwear up in disbelief.
Silco nods. âOf course. you're getting old, and as you get older... accidents happen.â
âI'm not that old,â Vander grumbles, though he knows it's probably not the best argument.
Silco smirks, raising a hand and waving it dismissively. âOh, you know what I mean. Things begin to... fail as you age. I simply wanted to make sure you had a spare pair.â
Mylo is now practically rolling on the floor, clutching his sides. âOh, my god, I can't breatheâthis isâthis is gold,â he wheezes. Powder is laughing so hard she's choking, practically coughing her lungs up.
Vander looks down at the underwear in his hands. He looks like he wants to throw it into the fire and destroy it right there. He glances up at Silco, giving him a look that clearly says, 'I will get you back for this'.
Silco leans back against the couch and crosses an ankle over his knee. âWhat? You don't like them? I personally thought they were a good choice.â
Vander opens his mouth to reply, but Powder interrupts him.
âOh, god,â Powder chokes out, âyou should try them on. They'd look perfect on you.â
Vander shoots Powder a glare to kill. âNo way in hell,â he mutters firmly, folding his arms and sitting back.
But Powder's not done. âCome on, just try them on,â she wheezes. âIt really would be a look for you.â
Vander turns his glare to Powder, his expression clearly saying, 'I will murder you if you keep talking.' âNo,â he replies through gritted teeth.
Even Silco is starting to look amused.
âJust for a second,â she teases, âcome on, just long enough for us to see. We won't even say anything.â
Van shoots a sneering look at both Silco and Powder. Eventually he lets out an exasperated grumble and stands up, mumbling something he heads into the bathroom with the underwear.
Mylo falls back onto the floor, clutching his stomach.
Silco is laughing too, watching as Vander heads to the bathroom to change.
Mylo is dying of laughter, gasping for air in between wheezes. âHoly shit,â he chokes out. âHe's really doing it.â
It takes a few minutes, but the bathroom door swings open and Vander exits, looking like he regrets every decision he's made that led him to this. His face is as red as a tomato as he stomps back over to them in the gigantic underwear.
Mylo and Powder are losing it again, falling over and rolling on the floor with laughter.
Silco is smiling, trying to stifle a laugh. âOh my,â he says, barely containing his amusement. âThey look even better than I imagined.âÂ
Vander can hardly look anyone in the eye, still red with embarrassment. âI hate you. I hate you all.â
Claggor looks at Silco and Powder, clearly trying not to laugh. âYou guys are terrible,â he says, a trace of a smile on his face.
Vi can't hold back her laughter anymore, she's grinning from ear to ear. âYou look... perfect,â she comments through a strangled chuckle.
Vander turns his glare on her. âI hate you all,â he repeats, shaking his head.
Powder is still giggling from the floor. âI want pictures.â She holds up her phone.
Vander looks like he wants to smack her head off. âAbsolutely not. I forbid it,â he snaps, sounding as serious as someone wearing comically large underwear can.
Powder just pouts, lowering her phone. âOh, come on,â she says with a whine, looking up at Vander with puppy-dog eyes. âJust a few.â
âNo, I'm not having pictures of me in these... embarrassing things circulating the internet.â
âThe internet? Who said anything about the internet?â she replies, a smirk on her face. âI just meant... a few for my own personal, um, research.â
He opens his mouth to say something, but Silco chimes in first. âOh, come on. Humor her. It's the season of giving.â
Vander turns his glare to Silco. âThere's no way in hellââ
âPleeeease?â Powder interrupts, holding out her phone again.
Vander looks like he's about to argue, but Powder is already giving him those damn puppy-dog eyes that he struggles to resist. He hesitates, then, with a grumble, he sighs. âFine, one picture.â
Powder looks like a kid on Christmas. The instant the word 'picture' leaves Vander's mouth, she leaps to her feet and lifts up her phone. âStand up straighter.â
Vander obeys, reluctantly straightening up.
âSay cheese.â
Vander grunts, but he cooperates. âCheese,â he mutters, putting on a strained smile.
Powder snaps the picture, then lowers her phone and looks at it with a satisfied smile. âOh yeah, you're getting on the naughty list for this one,â she grins, wiggling the phone a little.
Once the picture-taking is over and Vander changes his clothes back, Silco motions for Powder to settle down.Â
âAlright, settle down. It's time to continue with the secret Santa,â Silco says, looking at the others.
They all nod in agreement, still snickering but mostly focusing on the present exchange.
âWho wants to go next?â Silco asks, looking around the group.
Mylo looks around, then grins. âMy turn.â
Powder rolls her eyes, knowing that look on his face all too well. âHere we go,â she says, preparing herself for whatever nonsense Mylo is about to come up with.
Mylo smirks, holding up his present. âWell, I drew someone's name... and it was a pretty easy choice.â He then looks around the group with mock innocence. âOh, where's my victim?â
Claggor sighs. âWho exactly is the unlucky person this year?â
âThere's only one person who I could have possibly chosenâŚâ
âWould you just spit it out before the suspense kills me?â Powder snaps, impatient.
Mylo huffs. âJeez, have some patience. Anyway, my secret santa isâŚâ
Claggor puts his head in his hands, bracing himself.
âMy secret santa is, drumroll pleaseâŚâ They reluctantly drum their hands against any surface near them. âMy very special secret Santa isâŚâ
Mylo grins, looking from face to face, savoring the moment before he does the big reveal.
âMy secret Santa... is Powder!â
âFuck!â She groans, burying her head in her hands.
âAww, what's the matter, Pow?â Mylo grins, holding up the wrapped present.
Powder lets out another groan, glaring up at him. âYou're the worst,â she mutters, looking like she's praying to any god out there to just put her out of her misery already.
Mylo grins, getting a kick out of her misfortune. âCome on, don't be like that. It could be worse, I could have gotten you a box of spiders,â he teases, shaking the present in her direction.
Powder looks like she's seriously considering that as a better option. âYou know what? Give me the spiders. Spiders would be better than whatever it is you got me.â
âNice try. You're not getting out of it that easily,â he says, holding the present just out of her reach. âYou have to open it, come on.â
Powder grumbles in protest, then reluctantly reaches out for the present. She snatches it out of his hands, shooting him a glare. âIf I die from this, I'm going to haunt you for the rest of your life,â she mutters, slowly tearing the wrapping paper.
Then, Powder tears back the last piece of wrapping paper, revealing a plain black box. âWhat the hell is this?â
âYou're going to have to open it and see for yourself.â
Powder grumbles, giving Mylo a glare that could freeze hell over. She slowly opens the black box, not sure what to expect. â...Please tell me this is not what I think it is.âÂ
The others lean in closer, curiosity getting the better of them.
âYou did not get me what I think you got me.â
âOh, you're going to have to be more specific than that,â he replies, trying to hide his smirk.
Powder glares at him, her jaw clenching. âYou know what I'm talking about,â she snaps, looking like she's contemplating dumping the contents of the box over his head.
Mylo just shrugs, holding up his hands in mock surrender. âI honestly have no idea what you're talking about.âÂ
Vander just rubs his face with one hand, knowing that this situation is about to spiral out of control.
âYou're telling me,â Powder hisses, âthat you didn't get me exactly what I think you got me?â
âLike I said, you'll have to be a bit more specific,â he responds, looking too smug for his own good.
Powder looks like she's about to explode. âMylo, I swear to-â
Claggor cuts her off, knowing that she's about to blow her top. âCalm down, Powder,â he says, placing a hand on her shoulder.
âI'll calm down when the box goes straight over his head.â
âWhy so angry? I thought you'd be excited.â
âI can't wait to make you eat that box.âÂ
âOh, I'm so scared.â
Vander interjects, trying to diffuse the tension. âThat's enough. No need to start throwing things around.â
âI was just having fun.â
âYeah, have fun with a black eye.â
âEnough,â Silco says, giving both Powder and Mylo stern looks.
Both Mylo and Powder grumble, reluctantly backing down a bit.
âCan we all just get back to opening presents, please?â Vander asks, exasperated.
The others nod in agreement, though Powder still looks like she's not done with Mylo yet. She glares at him one last time before reluctantly returning to her seat.
Mylo just grins, clearly enjoying having gotten the last word in. He takes his own seat next to Claggor.
The others exchange glances, silently agreeing to not let Powder and Mylo be too close to each other for the rest of the evening.
Silco clears his throat, getting everyone's attention. âNow, who's next?â he asks, looking around the room.
Vander nods, leaning back in his seat. âI'm up next, I guess.â He rummages at the gifts under the Christmas tree. After a few moments of searching, Vander finally finds the present he was looking for. He picks it up, holding it in his lap. âThis one's for you,â he says, handing the present to Claggor.
Claggor takes the present, looking curious. He glances down at it, then looks up at Vander with a smile. âThanks,â he says, starting to unwrap it.
Once the wrapping paper is off, Claggor is holding a box of assorted tools. They range from pliers to wrenches to screwdrivers.
âJust like you requested,â Vander says, watching as Claggor starts inspecting the tools.
âWow, these are great. Thanks, dad,â he replies, running a hand over the tools in the box.
Vander smiles, pleased to see that Claggor likes his present. âI thought you'd like them. I saw them at the pawnshop the other day and figured you could use them.â
âI definitely will. These are a huge upgrade compared to what I have now.â
Vander reaches over and pats Claggor on the shoulder. âYou deserve it. You've been working your ass off lately.â He looks around the room, looking for the next person to take their turn. âAlright, who's up next?âÂ
Mylo's head suddenly snaps up, a smirk on his face. âOh goodie, it's Vi's turn.â
âCome on, Vi, your turn,â Silco says, looking a little amused.
âYeah, yeah. Hold your horses,â she mumbles, getting to her feet and making her way over to the christmas tree.
Vi crouches down, rummaging through the presents. After a few moments, she finally finds the present. She grabs it, standing back up. She looks over at you, looking like she's been caught doing something she's not supposed to do.
She makes her way over to where you're sitting, holding out the present. âHere, this one's for you.âÂ
You take the present from her, looking down at it. It's heavy in your hands, the wrapping paper slightly crinkled from how hard she was holding it. âThanks, Vi/â You look up at her.
âDon't mention it, babe,â she mutters, her voice strained.
Powder and Mylo both let out a chorus of âawwâ when they heard her use the nickname.
âShut up, you two,â she says, glaring at them both.
You start unwrapping the present, tearing off the wrapping paper to reveal what's inside.
Once the wrapping paper is off, you're holding a small box. It's plain, made of brown cardboard, and doesn't look like much. But as you look back up at Vi, you can see a hint of nervousness on her face.
She's watching you intently, her expression anxious.Â
Still curious, you glance back down at the box in your hands. You lift off the lid, opening it slowly.
There, nestled in a bed of tissue paper, is a necklace. It's a silver chain with a small silver heart pendant. It looks delicate and beautiful, and judging by the look on Vi's face, she spent a lot of time picking it out.
You slowly reach into the box, lifting the necklace out of the tissue paper. You hold it up, letting the chain dangle from your fingers. It glints in the light, the pendants catching the glow from the Christmas tree lights.
Vi is still watching you, her eyes fixed on the necklace. âDo you like it?â
You look up from the necklace, meeting her gaze. âYeah, I do,â you respond. â...It's beautiful.â
You hold the necklace in your hand, running your thumb over the pendant. Without even thinking, you reach up and clasp the necklace around your neck.
It fits snugly against your skin, the pendant resting on your collarbone.
You look up, catching Vi watching you as you adjust the necklace. âLooks good on you.âÂ
âThanks,â you reply, still running your thumb over the pendant.
Mylo and Powder both let out another chorus of âawwâ clearly touched by the sight.
Vi shoots them another glare, her eyes narrowing. âWould you two shut up, for Christ's sake?â
âOh, come on, sis. It's cuteâ Powder teases.
âAh, young love,â Silco says.Â
Vander chuckles, nodding his head. âI remember my younger days.â
âDon't you mean your younger hookups?âÂ
Vander grins, holding his hands up. âGuilty as charged.â
Silco laughs, shaking his head. âSome things never change.â Then, he glances around the room, looking for who's turn it is next. âLasty, who's next?âÂ
You look around, seeing that almost everyone has given out their gift. It's obvious that your turn is next. âI'm up next.â
You get to your feet, making your way over to where the presents are. then you hold the present in your hands, not looking up quite yet. You can feel Vi's eyes on you.
This is it. You take a deep breath and look up, meeting her gaze.Â
You walk over to her, your heart beating faster. You feel nervous, but you try to push it down. You stop in front of her, holding out the present. âHere you go, babe.âÂ
Vi's expression softens, her eyes darting down to the gift in your hands. She reaches out and grabs it, looking slightly puzzled.
You watch silently as she unwraps the gift.Â
âIs this... a sweater?â she asks, bewildered. It's clearly hand-knit, with uneven stitching and a clashing color scheme.
âI made it myself,â
âYou made it? Like, with your own two hands?â
âObviously...â
âI mean... it'sâŚâ
âIt's hideous?â you suggest.
She winces, like she can't deny it. âYeah, kindaâŚâÂ
âHey,â you say, mock-indignant. âI spent a lot of time making that, you know.â
âI can tell.â
âThen, try it on.â
Vi hesitates, looking at you warily. âSeriously?â
âSeriously.â You nudge her. âJust try it on⌠for me.â
She sighs, realizing there's no way out of this. âFine.â
She pulls it over her head, struggling to get her arms through the sleeves. The fit is awkward, and the sweater seems too small. But somehow, it kind of makes her look... cute?
She tugs at the sleeves, looking down at herself. âHow do I look?âÂ
You pretend to look her over, like you're seriously considering the question. âI dunno,â you reply. âit's... something.â
âBe serious. I look like an idiot, don't I?â
âDon't be like thatâ you tease, reaching out to straighten the collar of the sweater. âIt's not that bad.â
âNot âthat bad?ââ she repeats. âAre you kidding? I look like a walking Christmas tree.â She groans, tugging at the sleeves again.
âI think you lookâŚâ cute. adorable. âFineâ âThat's the best you've got? 'fine?'â
âWhat do you want me to say?â
âI don't know⌠Something more than just âfineââ
âOkay, okay, let me rephrase that, you lookâŚâ beautiful, cute, adorable. â...very christmas-yâ
âYou really know how to boost a girl's ego.â
âI didn't realize you needed your ego stroked.â
âI don't,â she protests, flustered. âI'm just saying, a little bit more enthusiasm would be appreciated.â
Silco clears his throat, drawing everyone's attention. âAhem, now that the present giving is concludedâŚâ
Silence falls over the room as everyone waits for Silco to speak. The tick-tock of the grandfather clock is the only sound that can be heard.
Silco glances at the clock, a smile on his face. âIt appears to be midnight,â he says, pausing for emphasis. âWhich meansâŚâ
A chorus of âMerry Christmas!â rises up from the group, everyone sounding festive and cheerful.Â
You look back to Vi, who is still fiddling with the sweater. âMerry Christmas,â you whisper, not wanting the others to hear.
She glances at you, a smile touching her lips. âMerry Christmas to you too,â she replies, her voice just as quiet as yours.
Awkwardly you glance down at the carpet, unsure of what to say next.Â
âHey,â she says suddenly. âCan I talk to you for a secondâŚ? In private?â
âSure,â you agree, following her as she leads you away from the group.
She leads you into a small back room, closing the door behind her. The room is dimly lit, with only a few bare light bulbs lining the walls. Aside from a few boxes and some old crates, the room is empty.
She turns to face you, leaning against the wall. She's quiet for a moment, her gaze averted to the floor. you can tell she's trying to find the right words, fiddling with the hem of the sweater again.
âListen,â she begins, finally meeting your eyes. âI know this is weird, and I know things are... difficult right now. ButâŚâ She pauses. âI just want to say one thingâŚâ
âGo on,â you encourage.
âIâŚâ she starts, then falters. Her tongue darts out to wet her lips. Her gaze drops to the floor. âWell, I justâŚâ her fingers fumble at the edge of her sweater. âI just... I miss you.â
Your heart skips a beat as she finally says the words out loud.
You've been wanting her to say that for weeks, months even. After everything that's happened between the two of you, you desperately wanted to hear those very words fall from her lips. But now that she's saying it...
What the hell do you say to that?
You're speechless, stunned into silence by her honesty. You open your mouth, intending to say something. But words seem completely lost to you at this point. You just stand there, staring at her, dumbfounded.
âSay something,â she says. âSay anything. You're just staring at me like an idiot.â
âI don't know what to say.â Because, you really don't know what to say. You have so much you want to say, but somehow the words get stuck in your throat.
âSay you hate me. Say you never want to get back together. Just... say something.â
She's waiting. Waiting for something, anything. An opinion, a response. Anything from you. But what can you say? Do you tell her the truthâthat you've missed her so much you can't even sleep at night? that the last month has felt like a living hell, having no contact with her?
You want to tell her that you hate her for throwing you away just to come back around wanting something from you again, but your tongue feels like cotton.
âSay something⌠yell at me, curse me out, anything!â
But her tone gets under your skin, and suddenly you feel the anger start to build inside of you.Â
Who does she think she is, demanding a response from you? she's the one who tossed you aside without a second thought. You're sick of this. You've done everything for her, given her everything she wanted, and here she is, pushing you for more.
It is too muchâall too much. Without a word, you turn from her, heading toward the door. You can't do this anymore.Â
You hear her call out your name as you shove open the door, but you don't stop. You make your way back, stopping at Vander's side. âVander, I'm going to head out.â
Vander nods, giving you a knowing look. He can tell something's going on, but he's wise enough not to press the issue. âAlright, kid,â he says gruffly. âGet some rest, yeah?â
You nod your head, forcing a smile onto your face. âYeah, I'll try,â you say, giving him a wave before starting towards the exit.
When you pass by Silco, he gives you a curious look. You catch his gaze and give him a nod.
Finally, you make your way out the front door. The cold night air hits your face, making you shiver. You take a breath, preparing yourself for the walk home.
But then you hear the door swing open behind you, her footsteps hurry after you. âWait!â her voice calls out. âWait, stop!â
You keep walking, your steps quick. You're trying to get as far away from her as possible to outrun all of the feelings that came rushing back to youâ
âLet me walk you home.â
Her words cut through your thoughts. You falter, your steps slowing down.
You stop walking, turning around to face her. âWhat?â
She's standing there, looking like a kicked puppy. Her shoulders are slumped, her expression sheepish. She can tell you're not happy she's followed you out here, but she looks like she doesn't care.
She lets out a huff, her breath coming out in a white cloud in the cold air. âI just... look, whatever happened in there, whatever happened between us... just let me look out for you. Just let me walk you home. I.. I have to know you're safe.â
âI don't need a babysitter.â You practically growl, your irritation obvious. âI can handle myself.â
Vi flinches at your words, but she doesn't back down. If anything, she squares her shoulders and lifts her chin. âI know you can,â she says. âI'm not offering to babysit you. I'm just... I'm just asking to walk you home.â
You glance back at the entrance of their house, the warm lights and sounds spilling out into the cold night air. You turn back to look at her, your voice softer this time. âYou don't have to walk me home. We don't have to keep up the act anymore, I'm going home and... you've got better things to do than worry about me.â
âScrew the act. I'm walking you home. It's not up for debate.â
You stare at her, baffled by her insistence. âSeriously? What's the point, Vi? We're not together anymore. Why bother?â
Her jaw clenches, her shoulders tensing. You know she hates this. She hates hearing you say it. Her heart is on her sleeve, and you're tearing pieces out of it, right in front of her.
âBecause I care!â she snaps. âMaybe it's hard for you to believe, but I still care about you.â
You shake your head, scoffing at her words. âNo, no, no, you don't get to act like you care now. You're the one who broke up with me. You're the one who walked away and left me.â
âI made a mistake,okay? I was a damn idiot, and I screwed up.â
âA mistake?â you echo, scoffing again. âYou ended everything, and now you want to walk me home? What, you think that makes up for everything? You think itâs that easy? You threw away everything we had like it meant nothing, like all those months we spent together meant nothing.â
Your voice is trembling with anger as you continue. âAnd then what did you do? You went around, throwing yourself at anyone that gave you a second glance, like I was nothing. Like I never meant anything to you. Yeah, I know all about that. So don't try to act like you actually care when you clearly didn't give two shits.â
She looks away, her jaw clenching. âI was trying to get over you. I was trying to push you out of my head and it hurts like hell. Every night, every morning, it was like there was a hole inside of me, and no matter how hard I tried to fill it, no matter how many times I went out, how many times I tried to forget you, nothing worked. You were stuck in my head, and I hated it.â
She takes a step closer to you. âI know it sounds stupid. I know it doesn't make any sense. I just... I needed something to distract me, something to keep me from thinking about you. Because it hurt too damn much to think about how much I messed things up.â
âYeah, congrats. You did a damn good job at distracting yourself, huh? It sure as hell didn't take you very long to get over me.â
She winces again, the guilt written all over her face. âYou have no idea how many times I wanted to reach out to you. How many times I thought about coming back to you and begging you to take me back.â
âBut you didn't,â you say. âYou didn't reach out to me, you didn't try to fix things. So why should I believe you now? Why should I believe that you're sincere when you didn't care enough to fight for us before?â
She looks down, unable to meet your gaze. âWhat was I supposed to do?â she whispers. âI messed up. I messed things up and I don't know how to fix it. I don't know how to take back what I did, how to make things like they were before I messed up. All I know is that I miss you. I miss you so damn much, and I'd do anything to have you back.â
You swallow hard. Everything she's saying, it's everything you've wanted to hear for months. It feels like a dream.
But you can't let yourself fall back into this. Not when you've worked so hard to move on. Not when you've spent so many nights crying into your pillow, reminding yourself that she didn't care enough to fix things, to fight for you.
âWhy nowâWhy do you want me back now, after all this time? Why didn't you want me back when it mattered, when I needed you?â
She looks up at you, desperation in her eyes. âBecause I was an idiot! Because I was stupid, and scared, and I thought walking away would make it easier, but it just made it worse. Because I spent every damn night regretting that I let you go and wishing that I could take it all back. I'm sorry. I'm so damn sorry for what I put you through.â
âSorry doesn't fix things,â you say, your voice shaking. âSorry doesn't take away the pain, sorry doesn't undo what you did.â
She nods, a tear slipping down her cheek. âI know saying sorry won't magically fix things, but I am sorry. I'm sorry for hurting you, I'm sorry for walking away, I'm sorry for everything I did wrong. Just... just give me a chance. Give me a chance to make things right.â
She takes another step forward, her eyes pleading. âGive me a chance. Let me prove to you that I love you and that I want to make things right. If I screw up again, you can toss me to the curb and never speak to me again. But please, just give me one more chance.â
âI don't know,â you murmur. âI just... I don't know.â
âI'll do anything. I'll get on my knees every day if I have to. I'll beg on my hands and knees. I'll crawl on my hands and knees. I'll grovel on the ground. Just... please, just give me one chance.â
âI'll think about it. Just...just give me some time to think things over.â
âOkay, okay. I'll give you time or whatever you need. Just please donât shut me out completely.â
Without hesitation, she envelops you in a tight hug. Her arms wrap around your waist, her face burying into your neck. Her body clings to you, every part of her desperate and needy. âI miss you so much,â she mumbles.
You stand awkwardly, unsure of what to do. But then, your body betrays you, your arms slowly wrapping around her.
For the first time in a long while, you're holding her again. Her warmth, her scent, her touchâitâs all so familiar, so painfully familiar. So damn familiar that it hurts.
âI hate you.â
âI don't blame you.â She pulls back, her hands coming up to cup your face. She lifts her hand, brushing a lock of hair away from your face.Â
âI hate you so much,â you repeat, a tear falling down your cheek.
âI deserve that,â she says, her thumbs wiping away your tear.
âDamn right you do.â
You have no idea what to do or what to feel. Everything is a mess, and you're drowning in it.
For now, all you could do was hold her tight and bury your face in her shoulder.Â
You hated how good she felt against you and how right it felt to be held by her.Â
Damn her for making things so confusing, for making you feel so damn much.
You felt her hand rubbing your back, her fingers tracing circles over your skin. It was a soothing gesture, a silent apology for all the pain she had caused. It only made things worse, making your heart ache even more.
If only things had been different. If only she had been more communicative. If only she had been more sensitive to your feelings. If only she had been there for you when you needed her.
If only she hadn't walked away and left you broken. If only she hadn't hurt you the way she had.
And most of all, if only you had been strong enough to push her away and protect yourself from this mess.
But here you are, standing in the middle of a street wrapped in her arms. You felt like a fool, like a damn idiot, for still wanting her after everything.
You wanted to hate her, you wanted to make her suffer the way you had suffered.
But how could you hate her when she was looking at you like that? how could you hate her when she was holding you like this?
It wasn't fair. It wasn't fair that she still had this kind of effect on you.Â
Her eyes met yours, and you saw everything you had missed, everything you had longed for. and you knew, right then, that you were in damn trouble.
â
In the window, Vander and Silco watched you and Vi from afar, the soft glow of the christmas lights casting shadows over their faces.
Silco takes a drag of his cigarette, the smoke curling around him as he exhales. âYour little plan worked quite well,â he says, looking at Vander with a sly smile.
Vander just shrugs, sipping his drink. âI don't know what you are talking about,â he replies, keeping his expression neutral.
âYou're not fooling anyone.â
Vander hums, taking another sip of his drink. âI don't know what you mean,â he says again, keeping his gaze locked on you and Vi.
Silco let out a puff of smoke. âDon't play coy, Vander. You knew damn well what you were doing when you rigged that secret santa.â
âI may have had a little influence,â he admits.
âA little influence? oh, don't downplay it. You wanted them back together, and you knew exactly how to make it happen.â
âI have had a hunch that they still cared about each other,â he says, his voice casual. âAnd plus, I don't want to see Vi moping around for the past months.â
âAnd we couldn't have that, could we? seeing her moping around like a lovestruck puppy.â
Vander nods. âShe was really terrible at hiding it,â he says. âalways pacing around, always looking like she lost a puppy.â
Silco takes another drag of his cigarette, blowing rings into the air. âIt was painful to watch,â he says, shaking his head.
âIt was like watching a kid trying to hide a secret⌠I just hope they figure things out.â
âI agree,â Silco says, his eyes flickering over to you and Vi. âHopefully they can work things out.â
âOnly time will tell.â
They watch in silence, seeing how you and Vi are still holding each other.
âI still wouldn't forgive you for that damn underwear you got me.â
âThat was the funniest thing you could have received.â
Vander grumbles, narrowing his eyes at Silco. âI do not find it funny to receive underwear as a gift.â
notes: idk what is happening
#arcane#vi#arcane vi#vi arcane#violet arcane#arcane x reader#arcane x female reader#arcane x you#vi x reader#vi x female reader#vi x you#vi x y/n#vi imagines#violet x reader#I LOVE SILCO AND VANDER#fluff#angst#found family#christmas
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PARING: exhusband!drew x reader
SUMMARY: you and drew had been divorced for a little under a year now. while drew had your two kids this weekend, zach unfortunately let it slip, that mommy had a new "friend". drew was anything but thrilled.
WORD COUNT: 667 words
WARNINGS: possesive drew, angst, fluff, cursing, kids.
WILLA SPEAKS: hey! this is my first fic, on this blog, and i'm so excited!! please note that english is not my first language, so if any mistakes occur, i'm so sorry! enjoy<3
you stand outside his door, waiting for him to open it. you were a little nervous. you didn't exactly have a reason to be, but you were.
"y/n," drew says as he opens the door. "hi, baby, come in. the kids are in their playroom." he ushers you inside, hoping you didn't notice he let the nickname slip. old habits die hard.
you smile softly at the nickname but quickly stop once you notice. this is your ex. hell, not even just your exâyour ex-husband.
you follow him inside his new house. you liked it, though it did remind you of the house the two of you once shared.
"can i get you anything?" drew breaks the silence.
"you have tea?" you ask softly.
"the kettle is already on, sweetheart," he responds in the same soft tone. god, he knows me so well, you thought.
he finds a cup for you and starts preparing the tea. silence falls between you. it wasn't awkward per se, but not exactly pleasant either.
drew is the first to break the silence, still keeping all his attention on your tea. "zach says you've got a new friend." his tone is sharp, not at all soft like the one you'd heard just a couple of minutes ago.
a quiet "oh," was all you could muster up. you didn't know what to say. i mean, what could you say?
he turns his attention to you, handing you the cup of tea. "yeah, that was my reaction as well," he says bitterly.
you sigh. "come on, drew, don't do this." guilt written all over your face.
he lets out a dry laugh. "i didn't do shit, y/n."
"i'm allowed to move on, drew," you say softly, catching his gaze.
"the fuck you are," he sneers, placing his hands on the countertop. "i can't, so you don't get to either." his statement hangs in the air as you stare at each other.
you scoff. "no, you don't get to do this, drew. you fucked up. you didn't have time for us," you say, knowing how to hit him where it hurts.
"don't say that." he looks down, unable to meet your eyes.
"why not, drew? it's true," you state. "you were too busy with your big dreams, and, i mean, it worked out for you," you say, waving your arms slightly. "you have everything a man could want," you taunt.
"you know that's not true," he glares at you.
you shrug. "you can't have your cake and eat it too."
he scoffs at your comment. "right, okay. you're getting on my nerves, y/n," he bites. "you know how much i wanted to make this work. you know how much i love youâ"
you cut him off. "loved."
"no, fuck that, and fuck you for saying it," he raises his voice at you. he doesn't do that often. "i'm sorry..." he takes a deep breath. "you know that i still love you. i just want another chance, y/n. let me show you that we can make this work," he says softly, reaching for your hand.
you shake your head at him. "we can't put the kids through another divorce, drew," you say softly.
"we won't," he says. "come on, y/n. we can make this work."
you sigh. "drew..."
"please," he says, bringing a hand up to caress your cheek.
"there's no new guy." drew stares at you, a little confused, waiting for you to continue. "that friend zach says he saw me with?" drew nods along. "it was chase."
"chase? as in my co-star chase?" drew asks, utterly confused.
"yeah... he and maddie came by to help me build a dresser." you bite your lip, your nerves taking over your body.
"oh," he falls silent.
"drew?" you ask.
"so, no new guy?" he asks with a glint of playfulness in his eyes.
"no new guy." you confirm.
"so... do you wanna marry me again..?" he asks.
"drew!" you exclaim with laughter as you smack his arm.
#drew starkey#willaminareads#drew starkey x reader#drew starkey imagine#drew starkey x you#drew starkey x y/n#obx#drew starkey obx#outer banks#rafe cameron#dad!drew starkey#ex!drew starkey
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Save a Horse, Ride a Cowboy - G.S.
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Synopsis. He knows that you would be one of his favorite stories from his travels. And you know that you want nothing more than to stay by his side. After meeting an alluring cowboy at Olâ Rustcliffe Saloon, both of you are sure of one thing - this must be fate.
Pairing. Gojo Satoru x Reader
Content. MDNI, fem! reader, wild west! AU, cowboy! Satoru, mayorâs daughter! Reader, Satoru is SO DOWN BAD, angst, kinda slowburn, friends-to-lovers, bartender! Nanami, cunnilingus, oral sex (female + male receiving), unprotected sex, gun violence, pet names (mâlady, my love, + others), tumbleweed bandits, reader and Satoru are both going through stuff, Gege cameo, swearing, authorâs daddy issues come out.
Word count. 12.1k (Iâm scared)
A/N. You know how hard it was to make this all cowboy-y. Anyway thatâs off the bucket list.
Art by @_3aem on X.
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âSo, you itchinâ for a beating from me or yerâ wife?â
Glowering down at the drunk old pervert as he waddled away in fear, you sigh as you dust down your heavy skirts. Typical. The sun beats down on your face as you look up at that familiar faded banner.
Olâ Rustcliffe Saloon
The only bar in your little town of Rustcliffe, and by default the only one around for miles. You hated this place - not the saloon, no, the handsome bartender there was always a sweetheart. But at some point, the comfort of your quaint old town had become too comfortable.
But thatâs a story for another time. Right now, you were here to drag your father back home - per usual.Â
Rolling your eyes at the cacophony of drunken voices carrying from inside, you step through the dust-bitten swinging doors.Â
What hits you first is the stench of cheap alcohol, and then the inebriated camaraderie of the men around you. In the dim lighting of the saloon, you squeeze through the crowded tables and make your way to the bar.Â
Not a hair out of place, as usual, Nanami lights up when he spots you. âWell, itâs been a while. Here for the mayor again?â he speaks over the boisterous laughs around you.Â
You flash him a smile, âYeah, you know my father. Fraternizinâ with the voters and all that.â you wave off your fatherâs excuse to come down here.Â
âCertainly takes his job very seriously.â Nanami chuckles, âYouâll find him over by the window, in the back.â he points.Â
Tipping your head in thanks, you walk the treacherous track to take your animated father home. When you come in view of his table, you find that he wasnât alone. Damn, it was always harder to convince him to go when with other people.
You know your father has spotted you by his lively laugh and gleeful shouts, âAh, my daughter! My beautiful daughter! Whatcha doinâ here? Come come! Thereâs someone I wanâ introduce you to.âÂ
A smile slips out unintentionally at his almost-endearing pride. You mentally prepare yourself to say some awkward hellos to some of your fatherâs old drinking buddies before dragging him home.Â
Upon reaching your father, he immediately pulls you into a drunken embrace, wrapping his slightly rocky arm around your shoulders. âThis is the daughter I was telling ya about! Prettiest girl in town! Hell, maybe even the country, knowinâ ma girl.â he prattles.Â
In his jovial state, he abruptly turns to face whoever he was drinking with, unsteady on his two feet. Probably another old geezer, you assume not taking your eyes off your father until you could make sure he wonât collapse on the bar floor for the third time this month.
Finally, you look up.Â
Your eyes meet blue.Â
Blue, blue summer skies.Â
To Satoru, you were the most gorgeous girl heâd ever seen. As soon as he caught a glimpse of you menacingly threatening that creep outside through the window, every word the mayor said went in one ear and he couldnât even remember if it went out the other. Too entranced.Â
And when he introduced you as his daughter? Shit, it might just be fate.
âCâmon now boy! Cat got yerâ tongue? What happened to that sharp mouth of yours?â
The booming voice of your father snaps Satoru out of his captivation. Damn, he mustâve been staring for too long.Â
Mentally praying you werenât spooked by his speechlessness, he finally speaks, voice slightly shaky at your presence, âAh- Good day mâlady. Apologies for my impoliteness, the nameâs Satoru Gojo.â he tips his crisp white hat. Gently grasping your hand in his, he places a delicate kiss, looking up at you as he awaits your response.
You gaze, slightly awe-struck, at his ethereally beautiful white locks and the impish grin from where he held your hand. His lips were so soft.
âOh!â you startle at the clap of your fatherâs hand on your shoulder. Shit, you were definitely staring too long. Rushing to introduce yourself, you quickly interject a âNice to meet you, Satoruâ before your father starts leading the conversation once more.
âSatoru here is a traveler, arrived jusâ today! Told him people like us could never, I mean imagine, right?â he slurs.Â
Your ears perk up at this piece of information, âOh? Are you really a traveler, Satoru? How admirable.â you gush, previous bashfulness forgotten. Was thatâŚa blush spreading across his face? Couldnât be - your town's whiskey was known to give people rosy cheeks on occasion.
âThank you, mâlady. Itâs nothing special really, jusâ staying here a while.â he barely gets the words out before you father bellows a tangent - âDonâ be shy, boy! How wondrous traveling is, kids these days could use some toughening up!â
Both of you rush to catch your father as he sways with a passion seen only during election rallies. It takes the two of you to steady the man. As he continues babbling half-lucidly, you cock your head sweetly at Satoru, âHelp me take him outside?âÂ
Satoru thinks his knees might give out then and there.
The air is chilly by the time the three of you step outside, sun making its way below the horizon. Despite your fatherâs protests that he can ride home on his own, he knocks out as soon as Satoru gracefully mounts him on his horse. Carefully saddling behind him, you try to make sure your father doesnât fall off of Satoruâs beautiful white Quarter horse.
âYou really donât have to escort us home, Satoru. My olâ man wouldnât even feel it if he fell, I swear.â you insist as Satoru holds onto the reins from the ground, feeling bad for bothering him.
âItâs no trouble. After all, Gege seems to like him very much, hm?â Satoru remarks as he turns to his stallion, who attempts to bite him in response, âCanât say the same for myself.â
âHmm, how can I be sure yerâ not a serial killer?â you tease, reveling in the sharp laugh it draws from him.
âYouâll jusâ have to take a chance on me, mâlady.â he hums, eyes sparkling with mirth. Thereâs a lull in the conversation as Satoru pulls on the reins to start walking you down the road, the rhythmic clip-clop! of the horse filling the still air.
âSo you travel?â
âThis is a nice town.â
Both of you speak at once, anxious to fill the silence, only to sputter self-consciously.
âYou can-â
âNo no, itâs only customary for a lady to go first.â he hums, looking up at you.Â
âTell me stories of your travels.â you breathe out, eager for any crumb of escape from your little town.Â
As you made your way home to the sprawling family ranch, the night adorned itself with twinkling stars that matched the mischievous glint in Satoruâs eyes as he told you bizarre tales from his life on the road.Â
âIN MY DEFENSE, it was dark anâ that tumbleweed was shaped suspiciously like a lowly bandit. Hey- donât laugh- it was a very heated standoff!â Satoru exclaims animatedly as you cackle.Â
âYeah yeah, keep telling yourself that, cowboy. Even bandits woulda run away from your clownery.â delighted at the way the moonlight illuminates the blush that tinges his ears.Â
Making a fool of himself, Satoruâs stories have you laughing until your cheeks hurt, wishing you could experience them too. You almost forget about your fatherâs deafening snores and the bite of the wind.Â
But Satoru does not. Brows furrowing as he catches your slight shiver, he mentally berates himself for forgetting his manners. How dare he let a lady suffer the cold while he still had his fuckinâ coat! What a sorry excuse for a cowboy, this is worse than that time he accidentally lassoed a rattlesnake.
Hastily shrugging his coat off, he passes it to you with a sheepish smile on his face.Â
Face heating up against the cold draft, you breathe in the smell of pine, amber, and something so Satoru. Clearly not as affected as you are, Satoru launches back into his stories.
If Satoru thought his knees were going to give out before then he knows theyâre about to now. He aims to keep his eyes steadfast on the road as he recalls his endeavors, because heâs aware that even one glance at you all wrapped up in his coat wouldnât be too good for him.
Making out the warm lights in the distance, his heart falls as he realizes his time with you is drawing to an end. You seem to share similar sentiments, as you sigh silently.
Once again, a silence falls upon you two (well, three if your slumbering father counted) - but this time, it was serene. You could almost drift to sleep if it wasnât for your motherâs frantic calls for you from the front porch.Â
âOh, darlinâ, I was so worried! I didnât think it would be so late out!â she frets as Satoru helps you get down from his horse. Hands on your waist searing into your skin.Â
Clearly awoken due to the commotion, your dad stumbles his way down and towards your red brick villa.Â
âAh, honey! Iâm homeâŚsomehowâŚyou know, I met the most interesting fella Something-toru. A wanderer, real interesting.â turning comically to Satoru, he exclaims in delight âSomething-toru! How didya get âere?âÂ
Stifling his laughs, Satoru backs away, claiming he had to leave before your father roped him into more rounds of drinks. Which clearly didnât work because your mother approaches him, âStay, Satoru, stay! Canât have you sleepinâ underneath some tree when you escorted our darling daughter all the way out here.â
Any refusals are immediately blocked out by your very inebriated father yelling out in agreement, claiming he wanted to listen to more of Satoruâs âfunny lilâ storiesâ. Your parents head inside - well, more like your mother heads inside with your father in tow - having taken his speechlessness for agreement.
As you follow, you turn to Satoru, a strange part of you gleeful at the fact you wonât have to part with him for now. âWeâve got an extra room, and itâs got yerâ name on it. The stablehand will stall Gege, câmon, itâll be a lot better than the ground.â you grin.
âHey! The ground can be very comfortable.â Satoru declares defensively, yet follows you inside anyway.
Itâs only rushed goodbyes and promises to talk tomorrow morning as the housemaids fuss around Satoru. âGoodnight mâlady.â heâd winked as your head housekeeper clutched her pearls at his dirty boots on her recently polished hardwood floors.
That night, as you lay in your childhood bed, you realize that you still have Satoruâs coat on. Whether from his coat or something else entirely that you did not want to explore, you felt so warm inside.
---
Morning dawns with the symphony of the Western meadowlark that nudges you gently awake - usually. Today, itâs abruptly shattered as the door bursts open and someone barges into your room. Judging by the thud of hefty boots, you knew very well who it was.Â
âRise nâ shine, mâlady!â Satoruâs voice - way too cheerful for six in the morning - chirps out.Â
Itâs been a few days since Satoru has been staying with you. Now more a friend than a guest, you expect heâs come to wake you up for a morning ride with Gege, watching the sun rise as you exchange silly banter. But itâs so earlyâŚ
âWhat do you want, Something-toru.â you grumble out from in-between your comfy covers. You secretly delight at his whines of âHow dare you not remember my name, I even told you about the rattlesnake lasso!âÂ
The warmth of your bed and the melody of Satoruâs voice has you sluggishly falling back asleep - thatâs before he promptly sits on your bed. The force of it bouncing you both, making you sit up with a laugh.
Satoru was on your bed.
Satoru was on your bed. Shit, after what your father told him this morning, he wouldnât blame you if you kicked him out with a punch to his pretty nose right this second. Mentally slapping himself a million times over, he hurriedly gets out the reason he was sent in to wake you up in the first place, âAh- Um, the mayor is meeting withâŚsomeone important, wanted you to come down and meet him. Well, if thaâs all then Iâll be going, Gege wonât brush himself, sadly.â
And before you could get another word out, heâs swiftly out the door.Â
Satoru was on your bed. Your cheeks slightly heat up as you realize you didnât mind?
His words ring in your ears as you get ready for the day - if it was someone important, then you might as well dress to impress. Impress someone else too. Shaking off these strange thoughts from your mind, you make your way downstairs, nose wrinkling at the smell of tobacco that greets you.
Youâve always hated the stench of the overpriced tobacco your father brings out to impress guests. âThere she is! My daughter!â your father smiles, beckoning you over. âThereâs someone whoâs here to see you.âÂ
Grimacing at the cloud of smoke, you take a seat on the plush sofa beside your father. He gestures at the man seated in front of him, âThis here is Naoya.â
Despite his sharply handsome features, you shift uncomfortably at the way he watches you like a predator appraising his prey, eyes following your every movement. Apparently approving of what he saw, his lips curl into a smirk, âYour future husband.â he says saccharinely sweet.
What the fuck?
âFather?â you panickedly turn to him for answers, voice strained at your attempt to keep it even. But your father merely guffaws out a laugh, âWell well, nothing confirmed just yet. But you know with the way things are going with the re-election, might as well get to know a suitor and...â his voice trails off as he takes another puff of his cigar.Â
âMy apologies sir, I refuse.â you drone out, looking straight at Naoya. You donât miss the way his smirk grows leeringly as he mutters âYou donât have too much of a say in this matter, sweetcheeks.â The audacity.
Apparently your father doesnât hear, a more grave expression taking over his face, âNow Iâve talked with Naoya, youâre of marriageable age. And as young as I feel, I wonât be around forever. You need someone to take care of you, dear. Weâve talked about this.âÂ
Tears prick at your eyes as you abruptly stand up, disturbing the smoke around you. âI can take care of myself.â you spit out venomously, storming your way to the heavy front door in an attempt to run away from this situation.
In the dim sunlight filtering through the curtains, Naoya watches in amusement as you stomp out of the room. Hilarious, the feisty ones were always the best.Â
Over the mayorâs ramble of apologies, he grins âNo donât worry about that. Sheâll be mine either way.â
The heavy wooden door creaks in protest as you slam it shut, echoing your frustration. The brisk air is a temporary relief from the suffocating atmosphere inside.
âTalked about thisâ your ass. Every conversation - if you can even call them that - was a heated warning about being married off before you end up a spinster. You couldnât care less about ending up alone if it didnât mean living life with a man that talked to you like that.
Your thoughts block out the crunch of the gravel beneath your boots as your feet subconsciously lead you to the stables, where you used to play hide-and-seek as a kid. More recently, though, it has become an escape from conversations like these.Â
Approaching its familiar wooden doors, you catch a glimpse of Satoru, back turned and meticulously grooming Gege.
Sensing your presence, he turns with an easy smile that quickly fades as he notices the deep furrow of your brows. âHey there, mâlady. Everything alrighâ?â cerulean eyes flit across your face worriedly.
âOh yeah, everythingâs great. Just got introduced to my absolute asshat of a future husband.â as if Satoruâs concerned expression makes something in you snap, the words tumble out along with your tears.
âI donât even- The way he looked at me- Can you even believe?â
Satoru was about to rip apart whoever this load of horse manure was that made tears streak down your pretty face. Throwing his brush down - which Gege didnât quite appreciate - he quickly envelopes you in his arms, letting you muffle your sobs.
âHey hey. Itâll be alright, weâll work something out. I promise, mâlady.â he consoles.Â
Eventually, as your cries die down, you look up to see the rising sun casting a soft glow on Satoruâs features, illuminating the sincerity in his gaze.
The determined glint in his eyes emboldens you, âYerâ right, I will not be forced into a marriage, especially with someone like Naoya. Iâm not anyoneâs property.â
A subtle warmth is present in Satoruâs gaze as he utters, âThaâs my girl.â before reeling back and backtracking immediately, âAh! I mean- good for you mâlady. Naoya ainât the one. Anyway, tell me about this âasshatâ.â
You raise a brow teasingly at his rapid change of demeanor, before plopping down on the hay, launching into your first impression of Naoya and why the rumors downtown of him making babies cry were probably true.Â
The sun shines high in the sky as you lay there in peaceful silence, only to be broken by the doubt weighing heavy on your mind. âIâm scared.â you admit.
Satoru turns from his place beside you from the hay, âItâs alright, you got Gege and myself beside you. If Naoya ainât the one then he ainât the one.âÂ
Your eyes meet his twinkling gaze, âYeah, heâs not the one.â
The air grows charged with something unspoken as the silence stretches out. Satoru can feel the tips of his ears burning at your words - stop it Satoru, she didnât mean anything by it. As always, he retreats into humor to break the crackling silence.Â
âIâd help you hide the body, yâknow. Then you can have a shotgun wedding with whoever you want to share your days with.â
âOh yeah? What if he turns out just like that asshat?â you challenge.Â
âWell, if it doesnât work out, you can always run away with me. Fightinâ tumbleweeds together.â Satoru makes light of the situation, in an attempt to etch that beautiful smile on your face once more. It works, as you throw your head back and laugh.
âYeah, Iâd love that.â you get out in-between giggles.Â
If someone looked at you like Satoru did, you probably wouldnât mind marrying them. A voice whispers in the back of your mind, sending your brows furrowing once again.
Meanwhile, Satoru finally had a name for your future not-husband - Naoya.
Urgently getting up and removing the hay stuck to your clothes once you hear your housemaids calling for you, you leave Satoru with a grateful smile that had him swooning out loud immediately after the stable door shut - to the very visible judgment of Gege.
It felt like a knife in his chest when the mayor tittered secretly to him about your future husband this morning, thoughts of you getting married plaguing his mind all morning. Well, if you were happy then itâs fine, isnât it?Â
He was halfway through imagining you in a beautiful dress of white when youâd arrived with a cloudy expression covering your gorgeous features. If Satoru had thought hearing about your fiancĂŠ was like being stabbed, then the despair on your face made him feel like he was completely cleaved in half.Â
You deserve someone that deserves you. Probably not him. Certainly not Naoya.
Walking back to the house to fetch his riding gloves, heâs lost in the thoughts of standing off against a faceless man calling himself your husband when he bumps into somebody.
âMy apolog- Asshat?â Satoru blurts out at the man testily raising a brow at him.
âExcuse you, barn boy?â he fumes, at the nickname that slips by. Ah, heâs done it now. Lips tweaking into a forced smile, Satoru grits out, âAh, apologies, sir. Cowboy tendencies.â
The air is tense as Naoya mutters, âKeep those to yourself.â He moves to walk past Satoru, before stopping close enough to utter words meant for only him to hear, âAnd stay away from my future bride. I saw the hay on her skirt, yerâ insane to think youâd have a chance, barn boy. Go back to wanderinâ around.â
Satoru stands rooted to the spot as Naoya walks off, too many emotions he canât name whirling inside him. That morning, he stalks off for his longest ride since arriving at Rustcliffe - not coming back with Gege until well after midnight.Â
---
To Satoru, long rides always mean interesting dreams. Right now he was in a tap-dancing competition against a one-eyed alligator who looked suspiciously like your father. Itâs a shame - he was winning too - that the competition is suddenly crashed by an angel calling for him.Â
âSatoruâŚSatoru!âÂ
An angel that sounded likeâŚyou?
âSatoru if you donât wake up Iâm feedinâ your boots to Gege.â
His eyes shoot open, yet his sleep-addled brain still struggles to process you standing over his bed, soft hands shaking his bare shoulders lightly. âAngel?â he rasps out.Â
You huff out a laugh, âNo, Iâm here to drag you to hell - or close enough at least.â
Face burning at already making a fool of himself before noon, he sits up in bed, blanket sliding off to reveal his toned upper-half.
Shit, it should be illegal to casually have a body like that.Â
Trying your best to avert your eyes from the dips and curves of his sculpted body, you continue, âMy fatherâs holdinâ Rustcliffeâs annual Harvest Hoedown in a few weeks, the whole townâs gonna be there. You made it just in time for some dancing lessons.â
âWhat makes you think I need dancing lessons?â Satoru raises a brow playfully. You take a brief moment to admire the way his sleep-tousled hair curtains his alluring eyes, before replying in an ominous tone, âI need dancing lessons.â
Wow, you really did need dancing lessons, Satoru notes as he stifles a laugh when you step on the poor instructorâs foot for the fifth time this afternoon.Â
Locked in the stuffy studio, he recalls the way your father demanded that you not step one foot outside until you mastered the upbeat waltz for the hoedown - putting Satoru in charge of making sure you donât slip away. âItâs stupid really, heâs never had a problem with me sitting out before. All because that asshat will be thereâŚâ youâd muttered hotly on the way.
Ah yes, that asshat. Sleep weighs heavily on Satoruâs eyes from riding all night long, yet his words still ring painfully in his ears. Who did he even think he was to have a chance with you?Â
Well, itâs alright, Satoru will be out of this town in a few months, and youâll marry some man of your choice that could give you everything you could ever want.
The only thing that snaps Satoru out of his overthinking tirade is the abrupt pause of the music and the heavy sigh the dance instructor lets out - clearly having taken a break for his own sake rather than yours. You shuffle sheepishly across the polished floor to where Satoru stands, âWas it worse than you thought?â you grimace.
âWell, you always do find a way to surprise me, mâladyâ he teases, chuckling at your dramatic groan. Out of the corner of your eye, you spot the instructor rushing outside for a smoke. Hopefully not because of your dancingâŚ
You scoff in defense as Satoruâs cackles grow louder - having thought the same thing. âWell, Iâm sure the great Something-toru is much better on his feet.â
Instead of retorting, he steps one heavy boot onto the waxy dance floor, holding out a hand expectantly. âCâmon, Iâll show you.â
âBut, thereâs no music?â you raise a brow, yet you place your hand in his much larger ones. Soft, his hands were surprisingly soft. And so warm.
âDid I mention I was a great singer too?â he grins, a small dimple at the corner of his mouth as he pulls you closer.Â
Shit, it was way too hot to be cooped up in a dance studio. Or maybe it was just Satoruâs hand around your waist, making your skin burn through your heavy skirts. They flow around you as he glides you gently across the floor.Â
You train your eyes steadily on your feet - partly out of necessity, and partly out of fear of meeting Satoruâs intense gaze.
The only sounds filling the small studio were the squeaks of your boots and Satoruâs soft humming of a nonexistent tune. It was beautiful, his voice. It reminded you of calm summer days.Â
âAh- sorry!â you panic as you step on his toe, only for him to pause his melody and huff out a laugh.
âStep on them as much as you want, mâboots are thick.â
Youâre sure he meant this only to bate your embarrassment, but something about his words and the warm endearment in his gaze have your cheeks heating up. You focus on your steps in silence as he guides you patiently, tenderly.
Pride grows in your chest as you start stepping on his boots every six steps instead of two. Satoru seems to have noticed too, âHey! Youâve improved, mâlady.â he whispers, as if afraid to break the stillness in that humid room as you two continue your silent dance.Â
Loud clapping from the doorway makes you two jump apart, shattering the serene bubble youâve found refuge in. âBrilliant! I thought Iâd come across my first hopeless case, yet youâve worked absolute wonders Mr. Satoru!â
Your escape is quick, you urgently drag Satoru out the door before he can be forcibly recruited as a dance teacher.Â
You heave out a sigh of relief at your freedom from the treacherous clutches of the dance studio. Merciless sunlight stinging your face, you begin to make your way through the dusty hustle and bustle of Rustcliffe in the afternoon.Â
Now, all you had to do was avoid bumping into your father for the rest of the day and you should be fine!
Speed-walking by Olâ Rustcliffe Saloon, youâre confused when youâre faced with a few more drunken stares than usual. Surely your new skirt canât be that flattering?
With a jolt, you realize youâre still grasping Satoruâs warm hand in his. Dropping it as if it burned, your cheeks heat up at the mirth on his features. âNot that Iâm complainin,â he grins, âbut warn a guy next time you manhandle him. Sânot good for the heart, mâlady.â
Rolling your eyes at his joke, you begin pointing out the things to see as you walk the familiar old roads of Rustcliffe, detailing the town gossip.
It really was not good for his heart, Satoru was sure heâll drop dead very soon one of these days because of you.Â
He couldnât rip his eyes off of you as you animatedly talked about granny Wei wrestling Mrs. Davidson for her secret brownie recipe.Â
Shit, he was really getting in too deep.
Night falls fast, a deep shade of blue.Â
Saying your goodbyes to Nanami at Olâ Rustcliffe Saloon - at a time you knew your father wouldnât be around - your heart swells as Satoru excitedly rambles about âGood olâ Nanamin! What a chip off the old block, we became fast friends yâknow?â
You didnât expect your mission to avoid your father to turn into an impromptu Rustcliffe tour. But watching Satoruâs face light up as you told him silly little stories of your childhood, you wouldnât have changed it one bit.Â
Sent off with a cheery âCome back soon deary!â, youâre exhausted by the time you say all your goodbyes to the people of the town.
âYouâre loved, yâknow?â Satoru speaks up out of nowhere as you steady yourself behind him on the saddle.Â
âHm?â you ask, fatigued from spending the day walking around town. A large hand caresses your cheek to rest your head against his back, tightening your arms around his waist.
Lightly snapping the reins, he repeats, âYouâre loved.âÂ
You drift on his words gently to sleep, the clip-clop! of the horse matching the deafening beat of your heart against your ribcage. If only you could be like this forever.
SLAM!Â
You wake up with a start, only to find yourselfâŚhovering? Surely there must be a valid explanation - you really didnât feel like doing an exorcism right now.
It takes a while of your nonsense to realize youâre being carried by strong arms supporting your back and legs.Â
âS-Satoru?â you ask blearily.Â
âShhh, forgive me, mâlady. Didnât think that damn door would be so loud.â he responds, bed creaking under his weight as he softly sets you down.Â
Smiling down at your incoherent mumbles, he whispers softly âItâs alrighâ, you can rest now. Goodnight mâlady.â
Struggling to rip his gaze from your gracefully sleep-addled one, itâs only the thought of someone in the house catching him in this position that makes him stand up.Â
A hand - uncharacteristically swift - grasps his wrist, stopping his tip-toeing to the door. âSatoruâŚâ your groggy call of his name sends shivers down his spine. Hesitatingly following the gentle pull of your hand, he kneels beside your bed.
âYes, mâlady?â he breathes.
You surge forward, sleep hazing the practical side of your mind. Acting on pure instinct, your soft lips meet his.Â
Satoru freezes in surprise as a beat passes. One. Two.
He stays in the same position when you flop back onto your pillow, soft snores filling the otherwise pin-drop silence. His lips burn as he brings up a hand to touch them in disbelief, stifling an euphoric laugh.
You startle awake in the middle of the night, after some questionable dream about Satoru carrying you to the bed and you kissing him. Â
Imagine. Ha!Â
Settling back into where you were carefully tucked into bed, you snuggle the warm coat at your side.Â
Wait. Shit.
---
If either of you remembered what happened that night, neither of you mentioned it.Â
Oftentimes, you questioned whether it was a dream. The only thing keeping you from fully believing so being the intensity in Satoruâs stare whenever his eyes briefly flickered to your lips and the hasty retreats whenever it seemed like you would bring up the topic.Â
But why wasnât he saying anything? And why did he not want you to?
In fear of messing up the comfortable camaraderie you two had, you continued this magnetic dance of normalcy. But honestly could you really consider it ânormalâ if each gaze was charged with something neither of you could describe?
But why wasnât he saying anything? And why did he not want you to?
You could only imagine the worst.
Satoru thinks heâs died and gone to heaven. Well, probably a bit below heaven, because - ideally - there youâd be his wife and Gege would actually like him.Â
Itâs alright, even if just for a sleep-hazed second, he was yours. And he didnât want to hear you apologize for it.
Still riding the euphoria of that brief kiss, he goes about life as usual, sure that you would be one of his favorite stories from his travels.
---
âWELCOME ALL TO RUSTCLIFFE ANNUAL HARVEST HOEDOWN! WE GOT HARVEST, WE GOT HORSES, WE GOT SOME HOE- Oh- what? yes, dear that was on my scriptâŚâ your fatherâs voice bellows across town from the loudspeaker.Â
You breathe in the warm, candy-scented air, fairy lights illuminating the colorful stalls selling everything from candied apples to binoculars (âSpy On Your Neighbors Without Worry!â).Â
Place ringing with the bustle and chatter of the town, you think it feels like something out of a picture book.
A warm smile finds its way onto your face, youâve loved the Harvest Hoedown since you were a kid. Here, you can forget the longing for something more, the rows at home about your looming engagement, and most of all - you can almost forget Satoru.
Ever since that kiss, youâve found it hard to face him. Sure, the banter and half-joking schemes to murder Naoya are the same. But your heart clenches every time he looks at you with a tender melancholy, losing the words to apologize for taking advantage of his kindness.
âCome come! Itâs startinâ!â you hear gleefully from your left. Before you can register whatâs happening, youâre pulled into a circle of bodies dancing to an upbeat tune.Â
Laughter bubbling out of you as you lose yourself in the song, you turn to your right and seeâŚyour dance instructor, who is very visibly (and audibly) praying for his feet. Dramatic. Youâve learned a lot recently with Satoruâs help.
Oh, there he is again. For someone that leaves place so swiftly, he sure is set on living permanently in your mind.
Hidden amongst the audience, Satoru cackles at the distress on Mr. Dance Instructorâs face. Little did he know, with a bit of Satoruâs magic youâve improved - stepping on his toes only once every fifteen steps!Â
He was so proud of his girl.
Ah, except youâre not. Youâre so much more. And heâs reminded of that every time you averted your eyes from his during dance lessons, the proximity of your bodies doing nothing for how out of reach you felt to him.Â
He rips his gaze from you, walking away from the growing crowd. Where was that damn drinks table again?
Itâs past twelve as the townsfolk start pairing up for the hoedown couples dancing. Youâve usually sat this one out, not one for the complicated steps nor the intimacy.
Out of the corner of your eye, you spy your parents waltzing in their own world. How nice it must be. Your supposed asshat of a dance partner was over by the drinks talking with some men, barely looking your way.
Guess the dance lessons were for nothing. Frustrated and slightly tipsy, you move to make your way off the dance floor.Â
Suddenly, a large hand blocks your view of the exit. Who the-Â
Satoru.
Ears tinged a pretty red, and eyes slightly dazed, he hiccups over the rich music âWould you- dance with me, mâlady?â
Maybe it was the beer, maybe it was the way his face flushed your favorite delicate pink - but you slide your hand into his warm one, âIâd be honored to, Satoru.âÂ
A strong arm pulling you flush against his body, faces only inches apart. His hot breath fans you as Satoru murmurs, âLooked sâbeautiful tonight. Best dancer in town Iâd say.â
âOnly cuzâ of you, Satoru.â you chuckle at his genuine tone as he steers you across the dance floor. Feet in perfect sync, the waltz fades into the background as you look into his tired eyes.Â
âNah, thaâs all you, mâlady. Iâm nothing much.â he grins morosely.Â
Your brows furrow at his words, clearly something was wrong. And this wasnât the place to talk about it. âCome with me.â you utter, pulling him along with you to a place you knew heâd love.Â
Little olâ Rustcliffe wasnât called that for nothing.Â
The air is tense, the chatter of crickets fill the silence between you two as you guide him to your haven, hand still tightly in his. Itâs a steep walk uphill from the outskirts of town, a place youâd stumbled upon during one dashing attempt to escape from this town as a tween.
âFinally here.â you exhale as you reach your destination, fireflies lighting the way.Â
âHah- If I didnât know any better Iâd say you were tryinâ to murder-â Satoruâs voice dies in his throat as he drinks in the view before him.Â
The twinkling lights of the entire town of Rustcliffe reflect in his eyes like constellations. Townsfolk barely discernible from this distance, yet the soft jovial music carried over. It was beautiful.Â
Satoru looks at you in awe as you lay down on the ground and point upwards, âThaâs not all, cowboy.â
Quickly getting on the ground beside you - albeit at a safe distance - his mouth gapes wider at the perfect carpet of stars above him. A celestial version of what he saw below. He turns his head to see you bathed in the moonlight. This place was beautiful.
âSatoru, are we okay?â you voice out in concern. Heâs taken aback by the sudden turn in conversation. You cut off his scramble to make a joke, âIâm serious. Please talk to me.â
He can never win against you.
Heaving out a sigh, âMaybe. Who knows. But whatever it is, please donât apologize for that kiss, let me have it.â
Now itâs your turn to be surprised, âLet you have it? Satoru, why wouldnât you have it?âÂ
âMâlady, I donât know if youâre aware, but youâre like fireworks. Captivating and fierce. That kiss was a mistake, and soon enough youâll find a rich, handsome-â
âI only want you.â
âIâm leaving soon.â he retorts.Â
âI only want you.â you repeat, stubbornly.
âIâm leaving mâlady.â he argues.
âNo- Satoru-â
âAnd Iâm childish. Iâm insecure. Iâll never be able to provide for you the way you deserve.â he plows on, emotion cracking his voice.
âSatoru, I love you.â you breathe out.Â
Satoruâs breath catches in his throat, the silence was deafening. âWhat was that?â he turns, voice quiet with disbelief.
âWell, I donât know if youâre aware, cowboy, but youâre like blue summer skies. And I just so happen to love blue summer skies.â you huff out, finally understanding the reason for his behavior these past few weeks.Â
âI donât expect a huge mansion, or some enormous ranch, or even a cowboy that knows the difference between a lasso and a rattlesnake. I just donât want anyone else, Satoru.â
âOh yeah?â
âYes.â
âAndâŚyouâre sure? Really sure?â
âYes.â
Silence punctures your conversation once more, broken only by a loud cackle. You turn in disbelief at his change in demeanor, âAll cheered up now, Satoru?â
âWhy would you have feelings for me? Was it the tumbleweed story that did it for you?â he gets out through laughs. It was contagious, and soon enough you yourself joined him, clutching your stomach.
In the thoughtful silence that follows, you find yourself inching closer to him until your faces are mere centimeters apart. âBlue summer skies and fireworks donât go too well together.â he breathes.Â
âWeâll make something work out, remember?â you hum.Â
Your first kiss with Satoru was a sleep-addled mistake.Â
The second was when his lips capture yours as if they were the source of life itself.Â
Rolling on top of you, heâs careful to not rest his full weight as his lips donât leave you, tongue caressing yours. Satoru tastes sweet - like hard candy and your fatherâs bottle of Baileys. Pulling away a hair's breadth, he whispers against your lips, âLet me be yours?â
âYou probably say this to all the girls, hm?â you tease him, as revenge for making you wait so long. He softly bites your lips in retaliation, relishing in your drawn-out whine. âYes, fine. If only youâll let me be yours.â
Clearly approving of your answer, he continues his dance with your lips. Barely parting to breathe, as if it hurt to leave you.
And it did. A low groan sounds from the back of his throat as Satoru kisses you with the desperation from these past few weeks. His hands stayed firmly cupping your face, as if scared to move elsewhere. Yours, however, was wandering the expanse of his back, and it was driving him insane.Â
âMâladyâŚâ he breathes out at the feeling of your legs wrapping around his hips, a warning.Â
You knew where this was going and you donât know if youâve wanted anything so bad. âSatoru, I need you.â you mutter, words punctuated by pecks to his swollen lips.Â
Maybe thatâs the trigger that sets him off. Itâs not long before Satoru is kissing you again. Pinning down your arms with one hand, he rolls his hips into yours. You gasp as you feel the outline of his hard cock straining against his trousers.Â
He was so big.
Your pussy drips with anticipation and fear of what was about to come.Â
Satoru thinks he might be getting whiplash, how was it that an hour ago he was moping in his loneliness and now heâs got you underneath him? Silently thanking whoever was up there, he wanders a hand down your body. Fingers trailing teasingly above where you wanted him the most.
âTell me what you want, mâlady.â he rasps. Now Satoru is sure heâs getting whiplash when you grind your hips up into his hand, whining âNeed you- on me.â
Skirts hastily pushed up, Satoru shuffles so his face is right hovering right above your pulsing core. In the cool moonlight, he can see the way you get wetter at each hot breath on your cunt. âPlease Satoru.âÂ
You were not good for his heart. Surging forward so heâs nose-deep in your pussy, Satoruâs tongue flattens against your swollen folds. His eyes roll to the back of his at your taste. You tasted better than the candy at the hoedown.
Your desperate whines for more send blood rushing to his cock, twitching achingly against his trousers. Leisurely dipping between your folds, he watches with blown-out eyes as you grind your hips deeper into his face, keeping a firm grip on his soft locks. Using him.
Shit, if this was your reaction to him teasing youâŚ
Your whimpers of pleasure and lewd squelches of your cunt fill the night air as he plunges his tongue inside your clenching hole, fucking you at a merciless rhythm. His brows furrow as his tongue dips in and out relentlessly. He sinfully loves the burn of his scalp as you pull his hair to angle him just right.Â
Thumb harshly circling your clit, Satoru thinks he loses a bit of his sanity at every moan of his name that leaves your pretty mouth. âYou taste sâgood. So perfect for me, mâlady.â his voice sends vibrations to your pussy that have you feeling your heartbeat banging in two places.
âHngh- Satoru, donâ stop!â you mewl as his nose catches on your clit, clamping down on his tongue. He continues his movements, breathing you in so sinfully. Air was overrated - Satoru Gojo, famously daring traveler and devilishly handsome, dies here between your legs. He wouldnât even mind.
âCum in my mouth, mâlady. Please.â he begs, voice muffled by your dripping cunt. He locks eyes with your fucked out ones as he pulls you by the thighs impossibly closer to him. He never wanted to part.
The stimulation of his voice in addition to his fingers and tongue becomes too much. âSatoru! Hah- ��Mâ gonna cum-â
Tears spring to your eyes as you cum all around Satoruâs tongue. He doesnât let up his harsh abuse of your pulsing pussy, groaning as he laps up your juices - your slick pooling at the corner of his mouth.Â
He was so greedy for you. Shit, this is so much better than heâs imagined every night heâs fucked his fist in that lonely room.
As both of you attempt to catch your breaths, the chattering song of crickets and distant music from the Harvest Hoedown fill the air once more. Satoru looks at you with a devious glint in his eyes that has your cunt twitching once more.Â
Youâd felt his rock-hard length. And you wanted it now.
âSatoru. let me feel you in my mouth, please.â you murmur. Kneeling before him, you look up at him with eager eyes. At his slow nod, you give an experimental squeeze to the large imprint of his cock, thighs rubbing together at Satoruâs drawn-out hiss.Â
âOh, mâlady. You drive me insane.â he groans.Â
Cursing the heavy trousers that cowboys wear, you fumble it down his legs. Muscles, creamy thighs come into your view, making your mouth water.Â
In the dim lighting, you see the precum drip down Satoruâs flushed cock. The prominent vein down his side glistens prominently. Shit, heâd never fit in your mouth let alone your cunt. But you wanted it so bad.
Satoruâs heavy breaths sound in the still air as your bruised lips inch closer to his throbbing cock. A deep breath, and you spit on his blushing head, saliva dripping down the side of his length and to where you gently grasped his base.Â
It was filthy, it was debauched. You absolutely loved it.
Satoru lets out a strangled moan as you flatten your tongue and take his tip into your mouth, sucking gently. He bucks his hips into your mouth as you run your tongue along his sensitive slit âShit- Sorry, mâlady. Youâre just hah- too good.â
Popping off his aching cock, you press kisses to the side of his length. He groans lowly at the vibrations as you speak about something that has been on your mind for a while now, âSatoru, donât you think weâre past formalities now?â
âWell, I could call you my goddess?â he smiles. âOr my angel? Or-â Satoru chokes on his words as you take him fully into your mouth - partly because you needed him to shut up, and partly because you cunt ached with need.
âSh-shit. Jusâ like that.â he rasps as you suck him at a dizzying pace. Precum drips down the side of your mouth as you take him in deeper - nose meeting the snowy white hair on his pelvis.
Your mouth burns at the stretch, his hips grinding lightly into your mouth to meet each bob of your head. Your pussy drips once more at how desperate Satoru was.
His mouth drops open in a silent gasp as you move to take his tight balls into your mouth. You admire the dazed look in his darkened eyes. âOh god- Iâm gonna cum. Please, let me cum in your mouth, mâlady.â he murmurs, eyes rolling to the back of his head as you continue your ruthless pace.
As soon as your lips are around his cock once more, Satoru comes fast and hard with a gravelly moan. Hot spurts of his seed dribble down the corner of your mouth as you take it all in.Â
Ah, this wasnât what you had planned when you brought him here - but you sure werenât complaining.
Satoru just about passes out when you stick out your tongue to show youâve swallowed every drop of cum he gave, cock twitching once more. He needed you in a way that would make a hooker blush.Â
Finding his voice, âAs much as Iâd love to ravish you right here, mâlady, I think you deserve somethinâ a bit more comfortable.â He swats at a mosquito attacking him as you grin devilishly.
---
Gege has never flown across the dry ground of Rustcliffe faster.Â
Wind in your hair and Satoruâs arms warmly around your middle, you feel the thundering of his heartbeat against your back - matching your own. You admire his moonlit profile, the light casting an otherworldly glow over his cloud-like hair. You could probably go anywhere if it was by his side.Â
Youâve never been happier to see that familiar olâ ranch.
Navigating your sprawling villa, you find, is close to impossible with a relentless Satoru pressing hot, open-mouthed kisses to your neck.Â
âSatoruâŚwe gotta make it to the bed.â you giggle, drunk off of him rather than the liquor from before. He sighs impatiently, before promptly lifting you off of your feet. His hat and hip holster falling to god-know-where as he runs up the stairs to your bedroom with you in his arms.
The thud of heavy boot echoes throughout the empty house - your parents still at the Harvest Hoedown. It reminds you of the night you first kissed him. As he slams your door shut and pushes you against it, however, you never in your wildest dreams would have thought that itâll lead to this.
Tongue tangling with Satoruâs, feet still not reaching the ground. You donât think youâll make it out of this alive. Nor will Satoru.
Satoru is definitely not making it out alive.
Heâs barely stepped a foot into your bedroom before heâs got his hands all over you - groping and teasing every inch of your body he can find. Your legs wrapped around him, he holds you in the air, hands roughly squeezing your ass.
His lips donât leave yours, tasting himself on your tongue - even as he bunches your skirts around your hips. Exhaling in relief as his hands meet your bare lips, he holds a finger to your pulsing core.
You whimper at the feeling, still sensitive from before. He drinks in your mewls of pain and pleasure, lips curling into a smug smile. âStill sensitive, mâlady? You poor thing. How will you take my cock if yerâ like this?âÂ
Your groan of impatience turns into a panicked whine as Satoru moves towards the bed, âMaybe we should tuck you in bed for now? Continue this tomorrow?âÂ
Reading the challenge in his eyes, you immediately free yourself from his hold. His confused gaze soon turns into a surprised one as you push him roughly onto the bed, straddling him after.
âYou always do surprise me.â he laughs out between the magnetic kisses you leave on his lips. Buttons fling across the room as you rip his shirt in impatience - fingers too dripping in lust to work through them. Youâre sure if the same could be done to your heavy prairie skirt, then it wouldâve suffered a similar fate.
You run your hands along his sculpted body greedily, as youâd wanted to since the first time you saw him shirtless. He hisses at the friction and the impatience at wanting to do the same to you, fingers fumbling with your complicated clasps.
After much frustration and curses on whoever invented corsets, youâre finally exposed in front of Satoru.
Shit, he really should call you his goddess. Because in the dim lighting of your bedroom, he thinks heâs in heaven as you sit atop him, bare and needy for him. Fuck Naoya. Fuck any faceless suitable husband. Eyes half-lidded and lips kiss-bitten, youâre like this because of him.Â
Grinding his now-bare hips against yours, a low groan rips from his throat at the feeling of your swollen folds spreading against his aching cock. Your dripping slick mixes with his as he continues rutting into you.Â
âAh! Enough teasinâ, Satoru- Want you inside me.â you whimper sinfully.Â
Your words make Satoru snap. Wordlessly, he sheaths himself inside you with a sigh of relief. Moans leave his throat unrestrained as he bullies his cock deeper and deeper inside your hot cunt. âFuck. Sâtight, your pretty pussy is suckinâ me in so good mâlady.â he hisses out, brows furrowed in pleasure.
Satoru could feel himself losing more and more of his sanity every time your plushy walls clenched down on him as he pulled out to fuck up into with harsh thrusts. It was so animalistic, the way your perfect cunt couldnât bear to part with him.Â
Your slick drips down his length and onto his heavy balls each time he rams into you at a merciless cadence. Soft yelps of his name leave your lips every time his tip kisses your cervix.Â
Ah, this time he was actually going to pass out. Your pretty whines, your dripping cunt, the way your tits jiggled so enticingly at each thrust - it was all too much.Â
Angling you slightly with his bruising grip on your hips, Satoru smiles with satisfaction at that one spot that makes you convulse on his cock. Abs burning at the pace, he hits it over and over. Your nails dig into the muscle of his shoulder, moans of his name leaving you against your will.Â
You were sure to be absolutely covered in marks tomorrow.Â
But that was a problem for later you. Right now, all you could focus on was grinding your hips down to meet Satoruâs thrusts, eager for him to hit that spot even harder. Your eyes roll to the back of your head at the painfully good stretch of your snug cunt. So full.Â
âK-keep going, Satoru. Donâ stop, please.â Your rickety bed creaks in protest at each relentless thrust, overpowered only by the stinging smacks of his balls against your ass.Â
It was so filthy. So debauched. And you absolutely loved it.
As Satoruâs hands sneak down to draw rough circles on your clit, you feel yourself getting closer and closer towards cumming. Leaning down to capture his lips with yours once more, you whisper against his mouth, âSatoru, Iâm- Hngh-âÂ
He connects his sweaty forehead with yours, âMm. me too. Fuck, gonna fill this pretty pussy up. You want that, mâlady?â
Just the thought of being so full of Satoru sends you over the edge. You cum with a lewd moan of his name, cunt clenching so impossibly tight around his cock.Â
âAh! Shit.â Satoru grits out at the way your walls were fluttering around him so perfectly. Your whimpers as you gush around him sounds like music to his ears.Â
Satoru thinks he sees heaven as he cums. A part of his soul parting with him that night. Thick ropes of his seed paint your walls white, strained whispers of your name leaving his mouth as if a prayer. As if you were his goddess.Â
A feral part of him keeps bucking his hips into you, letting you ride out your highs together. Fucking his cum deeper and deeper - claiming you as his.
You do the same in your own way - biting down on Satoruâs exposed neck. Hard. His strong arms wrap around you to keep you from moving away, letting you use him as you please.Â
Cum drips down your legs, staining your blanket.Â
As your highs finally bate, you blink out the haze from your eyes. Looking up at Satoru from where you were snuggled into the crook of his neck, admiring the innocent blush adorning his face and his glossy, bruised lips. Both of you so overstimulated and euphoric.
âGot any travel stories like this?â you chuckle out, half-delirious and exhausted from what just transpired in this room.Â
âNot at all.â Satoru breathes out, pulling you closer to him, closing his hazy eyes to the sex-filled air.Â
That night, squeezed into your warm single bed, Satoru tells you stories of before his travels. Youâre unsure if your parents are home yet, and right now with Satoru in your arms - you donât care.
You listen as he rambles about growing up in the quaint town of Summer Pass. How he was raised with beautiful parents, a wonderful life. Yet, since the passing of his best friend, heâd taken up what the two had been dreaming of since they were children - wandering the world.Â
âIâm afraid, if I stay too long then it always ends up hurtinâ.â he whispers into the still night. Caressing his hair, you pull him into your warm embrace. Your heart weighs heavy as the back of your mind pangs with the realization that Satoru will still leave despite this.
Both of you fall asleep reminiscing talks of your childhoods. In your exhausted state, maybe you misheard - but you couldâve sworn by the âI love you, mâlady.â Satoru whispered against your lips right before you closed your eyes.Â
Limbs intertwined till youâre unsure where one ends and the other starts, you have the most peaceful sleep in a long time.
Youâre unsure when Satoru snuck out of your room. The only evidence of last night being the washcloth on your bedside table that heâd tenderly cleaned you up with, and a singular button from his shirt at the foot of your bed.Â
Cheeks heating once you catch sight of it, you make your way down to breakfast in your most well-covered dress.Â
What you certainly didnât expect was to be interrogated by your mother. âSoâŚâ she begins. âWhen did you come home, darling? We didnât see you at the hoedown after midnight.â
Ah, suddenly these scrambled eggs just did not want to go down your throat. âJusâ...went to see somethinâ interesting.â you respond, eyes meeting with Satoruâs amused ones across the table as he subtly plays footsies with you underneath.
---
Sneaking around with a secret cowboy boyfriend doesnât just happen in books, you realize. Itâs a lot easier since Naoya is around a lot more often than usual. The only thing he might be good for may be keeping your parents entertainedâŚ
Since then, Satoru, you conclude, really does not like L-words: namely, Love and Leaving.
Despite his breathless confession that night, Satoru hasnât said anything more about his feelings towards you - nor when heâll be leaving.Â
Itâs okay, you have time. You console yourself, as you lay in bed with him after heâd snuck into your room as per usual, pulling his warm presence closer to yours. But Satoruâs inevitable departure looms closer and closer like a dark cloud above your head.Â
Itâs only two months after that night, when youâve retreated from another engagement conversation you shut down, that Satoru brings it up. Hands intertwined and watching the sunset on top of your fatherâs barn, he utters in an uncharacteristically grave tone âI planned to leave next week, mâlady.âÂ
Your heart pricks at his words. You knew this was coming.Â
Clenching your fists in self-assurance, your words tumble out.
âLet me come with you.â
âLet me stay with you.â
The nostalgic lullaby of the world around you is deafening as you and Satoru reel back in synchronized surprise.Â
âYou- stay?â
âWait- huh?â
Brow raised, you gesture at him to continue. âI just- I thought maybe I could stay here. Build a life with you, if youâd like, mâlady.âÂ
Your eyes widen in surprise. Satoru - who smiles brightest when talking of his tales of travel - was offering to settle down?
âW-what? Satoru, why would you? You love traveling.â you sputter out in disbelief. His smile grows, as does the warmth in his eyes. âIâve found something I love a lot more.â he murmurs, with a playful bite to the crook of your neck.
You crack a smile at his sincerity, though you shake your head in disagreement. âYou should be out there explorinâ the world, Satoru. AndâŚI want to be right by your side.â
âI thought you loved this place?â
âI do.â you sigh. âBut I feel so trapped.â
Resting your head on Satoruâs shoulders, you admit how dear Rustcliffe is to you - although oftentimes you try to deny it - and how you want to leave just as much.Â
The stars wink at you two mischievously by the time youâre done, a twinkle that matches the look in Satoruâs eyes as he announces, âSo~ We run away together in a blaze of glory. End scene, credits roll, Gege winâs best actor.â
âExactly. Although I prefer the term unannounced relocation.â you hum, relishing in his bark of laughter. âNow, câmon, cowboy. We gotta get up early for that damn election rally tomorrow.â
Heading back home as inconspicuous as possible is always tedious. In addition to praying away your swollen lips, you head in innocently at different times.Â
Hurriedly greeting your housekeeper, you attempt to make a swift escape to your room. Only to be blocked byâŚNaoya?
âWe meet again, sweetcheeks.â he smiles, stepping closer towards you. Determined to stand your ground, you stare menacingly up at him. âHello, my apologies for being so unavailable to meet these days. Business, yâknow.â your voice steady.
âAh, yes. I know.â he hums dangerously. Looming closer to your face, you smell the tobacco on his breath as he mutters, âItâs no matter, your father and I have gone through with our conversations. You and I will announce our engagement tomorrow at your fatherâs rally. That is final.â
âIâve talked with you about this, Iâve screamed at you about this. I will not marry you no matter what my father nor anyone else says.â you grit out through clenched teeth.Â
âWhy? Got anyone in mind? Think itâll be anyone else your father approves of?â he raises a brow, delicately raising the neckline of where your dress had dripped down - where Satoru had nipped before.
He knows.
âNot at all.â you smile sweetly. Not waiting for a response, you run upstairs. Seems like running away in a blaze of glory might have to hurry up.
Twisting and turning the entire night, you donât get a wink of sleep, mind a whirlwind of how youâd get Satoru and run away before the announcement.
It was terrifying.
---
Parading around town in an itchy engagement dress under the boiling sun on your fatherâs collection of purebred Italian horses (+ Gege) wasnât exactly how you wanted to spend an ideal morning. But it wasnât the worst.
You snuck glances at Satoru riding in front of you, looking devastatingly handsome as ever.Â
Naoya had been terrifyingly quiet all morning. You could feel his penetrating stare on you, scrutinizing every movement and every conversation. He rides beside you - your soon-to-be husband.
As the procession ends at your fatherâs podium, where he proudly takes a stand. As he plows on with an inspirational speech that has the audience in cheers, your mind runs a mile a minute as you slip away from the stage. Even in your gauzy white dress, itâs easy to get lost in the animated crowds of Rustcliffe - which you and Satoru use to your advantage.
This was happening. You were going to finally leave.Â
Heart clenching at the sight of your jovial parents onstage, you take a long look before turning away. Itâs okay, itâs alright. This is something youâve been wanting for years.Â
Brain whirring at the letters youâd send them on your travels, you miss the harsh gaze following you.Â
âSatoru!â you gasp at the blur of white and black that embraces you as soon as you step foot into Olâ Rustcliffe Saloon. The bar, empty for the first time in years since your fatherâs last rally, was your hastily chosen place of refuge.
Nanami, who wasnât initially too keen on being involved, had sympathized once he saw the look on your face. âAlright, but if anyone asks - you two were never here. Not too good for business, yâknow.â heâd stated, permitting you two to do whatever you please.Â
Although, it probably was worth noting that heâd almost taken it back once Satoru tackled him into a hug with a joyful squeal of âNanamiiiin~!â
âCâmon now. Iâve got our bags saddled on Gege. Weâll leave immediately.â Satoru voices, snapping you out of your reminiscing. Rushing to give Nanami a farewell hug, your heart lurches as he whispers âGoodbye. Promise youâll write.âÂ
This was really happening.
Nodding in promise, you finally turn to the open door and step into the dusty sunlight. Satoru leads you to where Gege is impatiently waiting for your quick getaway. You could almost laugh at the sheer exhilaration coursing through your veins.Â
You were going to get out.
You grip onto Satoruâs shoulder for support as he circles his arms around you to lift you onto the seat, slightly shaking at the intoxicating adrenaline.Â
You were finally going to be free.Â
âLeavinâ so soon, sweetcheeks?â a chilling voice slices through the air. One that you know way too well. Your heart stops, as does Satoruâs hands in midair - before he sets you down slowly.
Body moving against your will, you turn to the deceivingly sweet voice behind you. Naoya.
A cold sweat breaks out across Satoruâs forehead.Â
He stares down Naoyaâs hand hovering over the holster at his hip. âI knew there was something off about you, barn boy. You think Iâd be outmatched by someone like you?â he hisses, resentment poisoning every word.
Satoru does what he does arguably the best, âOh câmon asshat, donât be so melodramatic. Weâre just going on a little adventure.â he smirks.
âDonât I know of these adventures.â Naoya spits out.Â
Agonizingly slow, Naoya draws his gun. You could cut the tension in the air with a knife as the three of you stand frozen, searing sun casting eerie shadows across the desolate road.Â
BANG!
Naoyaâs first shot tears through the deafening silence. Narrowly missing the bullet, Gege whinnies in fear before running off to safety. Satoru skillfully maneuvers you two into the shadowy alleyway beside Olâ Rustcliffe Saloon.
In the blink of an eye, he presses you close to the dust-bitten wall as he pulls out his gun. âStay here.â he gasps out. Â
With lightning speed, Satoru retaliates - firing back-to-back shots at Naoya with a speed and precision that has him scrambling for cover behind a barrel.Â
The gunfire echoes throughout the quiet town, these familiar streets becoming a battleground. Despite both parties shooting from their impromptu covers, neither are invincible.Â
A stray bullet harshly grazes his arm, blood painting the ground a deep crimson. Fuck, this really burned like a motherfucker. But he was still alive - he still had to protect you.Â
The standoff intensifies, stray bullets flying off in every direction. They splinter holes through the rustic shop banners. You could only be thankful that the town was at the rally, confident youâd never forgive yourself if anyone died on this road today.
Satoru fires off shots with uncanny accuracy, years of defending himself on the road coming in handy. Yet, he was losing blood. So much blood. He realizes with a jolt that his vision was slowly blurring.Â
Breaths labored and slumping forward against the wall, he aims one last shot at Naoya. Fuck. Shit. Dear lord, if youâre up there, please donât let my love die here.Â
A finger pulls the trigger. The bullet flies through the air as if in slow-motion.Â
It hits metal.
Naoyaâs gun flies through the air, clattering onto the sun-scorched ground as he is finally disarmed. The beginnings of a grin curl Satoruâs lips before he heaves out a heavy sigh. Eyes closing and body collapsing forward, the last thing ringing in his ears being your harrowed scream.
âNo no no no. Satoru please.â sobs wreck your throat as your hands frantically check for Satoruâs pulse. In your panicked state of mind, you barely register the crunch of gravel nearing towards you two.Â
âShit. The fuck is it that you even want?â that dreaded voice sounds ominously in your ears. âTo travel? I can fuckinâ take you places.âÂ
Sagging on the saloon wall for support, Naoya clutches his bleeding side as he observes the two of you. In an instant, youâre in front of Satoruâs body protectively, hand steady on his discarded gun pointed right at Naoyaâs head.Â
âLeave, before I shoot your brains out..â you threaten, voice deceptively steady.
âI thought I could be the one to break you - the mayorâs wildchild daughter. But why the fuck do you put yourself through this?â he continues, voice strained with anger.Â
âBecause he is the one I want. I refuse your proposal, and I am not sorry for it. Now leave.âÂ
You were standing up now, the cool metal of the barrel pressed firmly to his forehead. Finger hovering above the trigger.
âI believe the lady said to leave.â Nanamiâs voice startles you both. His normally stoic face was etched with anger.Â
Despite his injuries, Naoya manages to glare at Nanami. But, realizing the odds are against him, he backs away, but not before venomously promising âThis ainât over, sweetcheeks.â
He leaves a bloody trail as he limps out of sight.
âTold you this wasnât good for business.â Nanami sighs at the chaos. With Nanamiâs help, you carry Satoru inside - body moving on instinct as your mind races to process everything that happened.Â
The empty bar now serves as an improvised hospital. Laying Satoru down on a table that acts as a makeshift bed, propping his feet up in a desperate attempt to recirculate his blood. You desperately tear the intricate of your engagement dress into bandages, hurriedly wrapping it around his injured arm.
The atmosphere is taut, air once thick with the stench of alcohol now reeking of blood and the dusty antiseptic Nanami had brought to you from the very back of his shelves. The methodic ticking of the bar clock sounds like gunshots to your ears.
His reassuring presence is probably what keeps you sane as you stare unmovingly at your hands, stained a dark red from the blood seeping through Satoruâs clothes.Â
You must have been sitting there for hours. Maybe even days. Or it might have even been just a few minutes.
All you know is a flash of blue, and youâre surging forward, heart racing. âSatoru?! Satoru! Please say something.â you cry out, tears streaming down your face once more. Nanami quietly makes his exit to the back, leaving the two lovers to their privacy.
âSatoru.â you breathe out, relief flooding your body and a smile forcing its way onto your face as Satoruâs half-lidded eyes meet your worried ones.Â
âMâlady.â he whispers weakly. His uninjured arm shakily cups your cheek, and you lean into his warm touch. âI would never have forgiven myself if I left you alone, mâlady.â he rasps, eyes boring into yours. âCouldnât have fought off the tumbleweeds yourself.â
You let out a watery laugh. There he is, the man you love.
âI love you, Satoru.â you speak in a hushed tone, as if anything louder will throw you back into your nightmare. His smile grows, blue summer eyes flooding with silent tears.Â
âI love you, too. So, so much. Wherever you go sâ where I belong, my love.â he utters words meant for you - and only you.Â
Your heart swells at the indescribable emotion on his face. âThen, rest well. We have to make our getaway in a blaze of glory, remember?âÂ
It wasnât a blaze of glory, more like a teary trail of apologies and thanks as you embrace Nanami farewell - for the second time today. He hugs Satoru too, but only begrudgingly after he bemoans about being on the brink of death any second now.Â
You step outside once more, hands shaky at what awaits you.Â
In the distance, you hear a frantic call of your name. You turn, only to have your parents barreling emotionally into you.Â
Word seems to have spread around town about what had happened, and your parents were first to come to you - your father running off midspeech.Â
Through your hurried stream of tears and recollections of what happened, you managed to bawl out âI-Iâm so-â
Words which are quickly hushed by your equally emotional parents. âPlease donâ apologize.â your mother soothes.
âIf anything, I should. Iâm so sorry for tryinâ to coop you up here, my dear. I was a scared, insolent man. Sâhard to not see you as my little girl, I hope you can forgive me, my darling.â your father sighs shakily. He looks a lot older than you remember him.
Grabbing both your parents into a tight embrace, you whisper out the words âI love you, and I promise to write.âÂ
With a final hug goodbye from your parents - to both you and Satoru, you take a seat in front of him on the now-calm Gege.Â
âReady mâlady?â you send a teasing glance at Satoru, who positively swoons overdramatically.
âOh yes, Mr. Brave nâ Handsome cowboy.â he responds in a theatrically high falsetto. âTravelinâ the world wonât be all sunshines and rainbows, yâknow? If you want a way out now then jusâ say the word.â he warns in his normal voice.
âTrynna get rid of me already, cowboy?â you raise a brow playfully. He wraps his arms securely around your waist. âJust sayinâ, wouldnât want you to regret a single thing.â he murmurs softly.
âI wonât. As long as we win against those tumbleweeds, right?â
Huffing out a laugh, âCanât promise ya that, my love. Youâll jusâ have to take a chance on me.â
The snap of reins. A last look at your waving parents, and your little town of Rustcliffe. You ride into the horizon with your white dress billowing behind you - on what you and Satoru would later consider blazing glory.Â
---
âDidya hear about the mayorâs daughter? Last I heard, she was kidnapped by a rogue cowboy a couple years back, snatched her straight off her feet on her wedding day!â
âHogwash! I heard she went quite willingly - the boy was quite a looker, you see. Stabbed her fiancĂŠ in his sleep before riding off into the sunset!â
Nanami stifles a laugh at the scandalized gasps echoing around the table as the old drunkards run the gossip mill.Â
In a subtle motion, he discreetly tucks away a photograph, its back adorned with enthusiastic handwriting and aâŚhoofprint?Â
Taj Mahal sprawling in the backdrop, two identical heads of white hair grin mischievously in the photo.Â
Yet, yours takes center stage.
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A/N. Did this in two days, anything is possible kids (I need to lie down). Reblogs are so so so appreciated.
Plagiarism not authorized.
#gojo x reader#gojo x you#gojo smut#gojo fluff#gojo angst#jjk x reader#jjk x you#jjk smut#jjk fluff#jjk angst#gojo satoru x reader#gojo satoru x you#gojo satoru smut#gojo satoru fluff#gojo satoru angst#jujutsu kaisen x reader#jujutsu kaisen x you#jujutsu kaisen smut#jujutsu kaisen fluff#jujutsu kaisen angst#jujutsu kaisen#jjk fic#jjk#gojo satoru#tonywrites
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