#in my defense. um. writting hardd

[detective4blog]

I managed to write something slightly coherent and it's of course some angsty bullshit reunion moment that takes place sometime during season 4. Under the cut bc I feel bad making long posts. Also no spoilers bc I barely remember that season anyway.

Those deeply colored eyes were trained on his. The flecks of lighter blue seeming lighter with a slight joy, but drowning in the sea of rage induced navy blue fire. Those eyes were different, changed. Toughened from his past, toughened from his present; his eyes truly were like diamonds.

Still, they were Sebastian's eyes. Not the eyes of some sick criminal or twisted bastard...not to John, at least. At least he knew what happened after that pit. Sebastian hadn't died, and seemed to make a living for himself.

If clothes with dried blood stains counted as that.

"I want to make it clear that I don't care about the Holmes, either of them." He spoke, practically growling. "Keep them away from whatever fuck-all island the younger one wants to go to."

John was confused, vaguely remembering that there was some talk about someone, that Mycroft didn't want him involved since he wasn't family until Sherlock said something. "...why?"

Sebastian didn't look surprised by the question, but his silence proved he hadn't thought of a response to that question. "Spite, I suppose."

"No, I mean why warn me."

Longer silence.

"Mycroft would try to recruit me and Sherlock would just arrest me. Or talk too much and end up getting shot." The answer was said in a bored tone. As if either of those options would be an inconvenience.

John looked at the pockets of Sebastian's pants and jacket, looking for the faint shape of a firearm. That seemed to amuse the older, holding his arms out in a way that said "go on, frisk me".

Despite better judgement, John did so. Keeping far away as he could but feeling around for a weapon; gun, knife, or worse. He could feel how Sebastian's arms were larger with muscles. How he had another shirt underneath the plain button up he had on.

No weapon.

"I don't think you're a threat to me."

John raised a brow. Sebastian sighed, continuing to speak. "If it came to it, you'd hesitate to shoot me. And if you did manage to pull the trigger, it'd be somewhere that wouldn't kill me. You'd do the same if Stanford got involved in shit."

"I could break your arm." John pointed out. "Non lethal and would keep you from doing anything. Worst I could do there is make it a messy break."

Sebastian looked amused. "You'd have to grab me. If I had a gun," he made finger guns and aimed it towards John's midsection, "it'd be over. A knife, maybe you could get away with it. And you'd be betting on the fact that I can't use my other arm."

This wasn't how most people who went to school together and served together talked. Neither of them were normal anymore, it seemed. Too wrapped up in different worlds that intertwined sometimes.

"You said spite earlier. To who?"

The smile dropped from Sebastian's face at the question, eyes darkening. Not angry but mournful. "A dead man."

John crossed his arms at that answer, head tilting to the side. "You weren't always so closed about answers before."

That drew a bitter booming laugh. "You weren't always one for messy adventures."

Touché.

John stared at the man for a bit. He wanted to speak more, but what could he ask? What would Sebastian reveal? He sighed. "If you know Sherlock, you know I can't talk him out of anything."

The mention of the detective made Sebastian's face become sour with hatred. "You can try. Or not tag along. It's his loose ends to tie, not yours. You've got a kid to worry about."

John's throat went dry at the mention of Rosie. A slight moment of regret appeared in Sebastian's eyes but his face remained blank. "How did you hear about that? I haven't seen you since-"

"That dead bastard decided to keep getting updates even from the grave. Bit stupid if you ask me, since I certainly don't care what shape Sherlock's shot into the wall or your baby." Sebastian interrupted with a shrug. So casual about admitting that the man he knew spied into-

"Moriarty."

That got a reaction from Sebastian. His eyes flashed with every stage of grief, his body tensed, and his fists clenched. It all relaxed after a deep breath, eyes turning to the side. "You've gotten observant."

"Happens when you hang around observant the Holmes brothers."

Sebastian still stared at something towards his life. Likely nothing of importance, but something that was good enough to keep his mind off of the loss he still was recovering from. "I gave my warning. Don't get involved with all that. It's messy and it'll just ruin your day."

"What is 'it', exactly?"

"One of the many charming skeletons in Mycroft's closet." Sebastian finally looked at John again. His eyes were returning to the ones John knew; the ones that glimmered with playfulness and had a fire burning in the background. "Tell him I said 'hi'. It might make him a bit grumpy, though. I've been a bit of a problem for him, after all."

John was silent. Those rageful eyes from earlier were that of a criminal but the anger was not at him. Could it ever be at him? Curiosity would kill him, and heaven knew when he'd see Sebastian again. "Could you shoot if it was me?"

Sebastian stopped, his back turned and only ten steps away. "Pardon?"

"Could you shoot me?"

The man was silent. The longer it lasted, the more the possible answer started to scare John. What would he do if it was a 'yes, without hesitation'? Just walk away and pretend that finding out an old friend would shoot you if it came to it was normal?

"Probably not. You've got that kid to take care of, and I'd hate to take you away from them." Sebastian thought for a moment, a grin growing on his face. "'Sides, you've got too pretty of a body to shoot."

"Someone disagrees with you."

"Someone hasn't seen you naked, then."

John was about to comment that of course whoever shot him hadn't seen him naked before stopping. Sebastian's incident happened before he was shot. He didn't hear of that tidbit of news. He frowned, shaking his head a little. "You say that as if many people have." He instead said.

Sebastian shrugged. "I'm just happy to be one of 'em."

"I see you haven't changed."

Another booming laugh, this one with no traces of bitterness. John couldn't help but smile at it, rolling his eyes. "Besides, I don't even know who shot me."

Sebastian stopped, concern lacing his eyes. "Was it here or back then? Because if it was here, I can easily find who did it and-"

"It was during the war, Sebastian. Jesus, calm down." He forgot how scary his old friend could look when angry. Even more now that he bulked more muscles and was rather obviously a criminal.

The man just nodded at that, scratching the side of his neck. "Sorry to hear. Hope it doesn't bother you."

"Not anymore."

"Good."

Silence washed over the two again. It was obvious the conversation was being dragged on longer than it needed to be. John didn't want to let go but Sebastian was already drifting away like sand in the wind.

"See you around?" He called hopefully after the retreating blonde.

"...maybe. Probably not, though."

There was a sad bitterness in Sebastian's voice. It thickened his accent and made his already deep voice go lower.

He was still so readable after all these years. John watched him go until he couldn't make out which walking person was Sebastian, then went on his own way. He kept what was said in mind, hoping to bring it up whenever Sherlock was in a mood to accept ideas that contradicted what he wanted.

Even if keeping him away from wherever was just Sebastian being a spiteful bastard towards Moriarty one last time.