#Are you meant to capitalize tags?
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Being a teenager is such an ethereal experience because first you're in a waterpark with your friends and crush, where you get your first proper hug in weeks, then you're getting coffee and spicy chicken, before your mum makes you put her thrush cream on your crusty ear, when you finally break down listening to Taylor Swift and Bon Jovi.
#Like#this day should not have been THAT emotional#But it was#Had more twists than the water slides#I hit my elbow too#Today sorta sucked#Are you meant to capitalize tags?#fuck capitalism#I mean it's not like anyone's gonna see this anyway#I've even got homework#It's literally summer break#I hope none of those friends have tumblr#awkward#well#funny#maybe#If you enjoy other people's suffering#Not really suffering#This is so badly tagged#im sorry#teenage angst#That's so dramatic#Well I'M so dramatic#That's just being a#✨teenage girl✨#please#Someone bring me a therapist#help#Swear it was worse irl
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so there's a reason my new job got back to me so quickly about my application and that's bc it's an absolute fucking shambles like actually perfect timing for me to decide to rewatch the bear bc i have never more felt like ive been thrown into a broke on-its-knees establishment trying to crawl its way up the ladder where i am somehow a godsend to them. my old job was crazy and shambolic in the sense that the industry is just Like That but this one?????? insanity. every 5 mins i am questioning what im doing with my life. ive already had a walk-in fridge moment
#so i explained before that there's 3 venues and on my very first shift they had me doing the restaurant venue for 2 hours#which was FINE like i was a bit cautious bc my manager is VERY stressed all the time and the place generally feels like it's falling apart#not the building itself just. the way it's run like it's just got new owners and the previous manager apparently#EMPTIED THE TILLS AND TRASHED THE PLACE like cost them THOUSANDS of pounds and on top of that#there was beef with the head chef and the new owners that meant he left and took the ENTIRE BACK OF HOUSE WITH HIM#THERE ARE NO KITCHEN STAFF ATM. I HAVE TO LIE AND TELL CUSTOMERS WE DONT HAVE FOOD ATM BC OF 'REFURBISHMENT'#WHEN IN ACTUALITY THE /RESTAURANT/ DOESNT HAVE CHEFS. DO YOU KNOW HOW CRAZY THAT IS#and then the front of house staff are very lacking aside maybe 2 people we're ALL NEW and all of them EXCEPT ME#LIKE LITERALLY JUST ME IM THE ONLY EXCEPTION. ALL OF THEM ARE UNTRAINED#so when i applied with bar training coffee training and very solid waitressing skills they genuinely treated me like a saviour#like i am FENDING off shifts tbh im in a v good position bc they need me too much to get shitty w me if i refuse hours but i can literally#have as many as i want bc they will just give me them. like they're obsessed w me im rota'd for over 60 hours this week#but anyway that very first shift after 2 hours in the restaurant i then walked to the mini golf venue on the OTHER SIDE OF TOWN#and my manager stayed for 30 MINUTES. IF THAT. and showed me around the place + how to close THEN LEFT ME THERE#FIRST DAY HE GAVE ME THE KEYS AND LEFT ME TO RUN AN ENTIRE VENUE. IT'S NOT SMALL EITHER IT'S A WHOLE BAR#AND I HAD TO CLOSE ON MY OWN TOO and ironically the shift itself went rlly well like it was so chill#it was kinda boring but honestly i kinda rated it it's v easy money and the close went perfectly nothing cropped up that i was unsure about#and then. AND THEN. i havent even ranted to my mutuals about this yet bc i was acc so horrified by it but i locked the front doors#and went to lock the gate AND THE KEY GOT STUCK IN THE LOCK. WOULD NOT COME OUT. HELLA VS KEYS ROUND 3927593#my mum even showed up and tried to help me wrestle this thing out i called my manager and he literally told me to just snap it#bc he'd rather a snapped key that NO ONE could get out than just leave it there overnight but bc of my recent house key moment#i was like AM I FUCK SNAPPING THIS KEY. WHY DOES THIS KEEP HAPPENING. so i had to just leave it and at the time#i was realllyyyyyyyyyy beating myself up but my manager is actually rlly nice he's just stretched v thin#and ive also had time to be like uhh actually they shouldnt have left a random 21 y/o girl alone with the keys on her first day#omg i havent even talked about what happened on saturday. ACTUAL SHAMBLES#LIKE THIS /\/\ ISNT EVEN CLOSE TO EVERYTHING! IM RUNNING OUT OF TAG ROOM! IM GONNA REBLOG THIS TONIGHT W MORE PROBABLY!#BC GUESS WHO IS WORKING A CLOSE LATER AT THE NIGHTCLUB THEN OPENING THE RESTAURANT AT 8AM. GUESS#hella slaves to capitalism
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2023 in review! I made an effort to try more things and it worked mostly (at least for TV and movies). New things, new-to-me things, and new installments of old things all had characters to love even if I didn't necessarily feel fannish about them, and I'm hoping 2024 does, too.
#but yeah no I had a lot of fun with some of these#mp100 is now fully going down as one of my favorite works of art ever. i mean it. i'd stick it on a shelf with discworld.#trying Nida Manzoor's work was SO GOOD like if edgar wright knew how to make girls lovable I meant to only try one episode of WALP#and then I marathonned it all in one night right into the sunrise and I do not regret it#(look I love edgar wright but)#i had my issues with GO2 and Fionna & Cake and HxH (which I finally tried yes I am late) but still they had babies in them#one piece and the last of us did like major progress for proving those mediums *could* be adapted and not suck so seriously kudos#I didn't go into Barbie expecting it to Solve Capitalism and The Patriarchy so I appreciate what it did do#Nimona was just gorgeous#Across the spider-verse is so good it's hard to say anything about it#Peacemaker is obnoxiously good and Chris's breakdown near the end really got me#Bottoms & Marry My Dead Body & Ying-Yang Master: Dream of Eternity are just fun okay don't think about it#the strange planet show was sweet and peaceful to watch#and even with a 40% budget cut OFMD has my heart and ed is The babygirl of all time for me#thanks for reading these tags if you did and I hope you have a good new year#art i'm proud of
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Is this version of Asriel into video games like his Deltarune counterpart seems to be? And, now that he's got his SOUL back, has he tried his hand (or I guess paw) at romance? Or is he aroace like some people in our universe speculate?
Of course he’s into video games! It’s a great past time, but he does have other priorities to focus on. So gaming is at a minimum for Asriel, sadly. And on that note of his SOUL, the romance scene has never crossed his mind. I don’t think it’s for any other reason other than it’s just not what he wants or seeks. Rather than that, I think what he seeks is relationships that are more on the platonic side.
For example, the relationship Asriel has with Frisk. This one being built both before and after he had his own SOUL. Here’s the fun part though. There’s a type of action that takes place with SOULs and that’s called a “SOUL Dance.” Where two or more SOULs will dance and swirl together in harmony. Mind you, this is an action that is natural and not forced upon. The main component of this starts off by having a soul, obviously, yet the other is by having a strong bond with another person or persons that are mutual to one another. All bonds can be an array of things so not one person is excluded.
To monsters it’s a common thing, but to see it with a human is very fascinating. And colorful! The sensation is like being given a warm blanket or feeling a warming loving embrace. And the looks are what I’ve described previously. SOULs swirling & dancing around in harmony. Asriel has experienced this and it’s the best. Cause even if Frisk or any other person he’s danced with are gone, the feelings are still strong as if they were here with them. Here’s an example of how it looks like for Frisk an Azzy!:
Admittedly, his bond is a lot stronger with Frisk’s cause they did give a piece of themselves to him. So he may or may not be emotional about it. It’s a good emotional though. Does involve a little tears, but to feel is good. Makes you alive. And what is said here for Asriel could be repeated with Chara and Aster. What with sharing a piece of their SOUL and whatnot!
#answered ask#utnewfoundfamily#the writer is talking#asriel#chara#gaster#you remind me that I gotta capitalize the SOUL and I keep forgetting :’0#apologies im just writing without really analyzing how things are meant to be looking like#but yayyyy I get to talk more about my SOULs concepts that ain’t just about power#there’s always something to them#and it a all can participate kind of thing#even if a person is aroace it’s possible#nothing has to be romantic at all it’s cool but not necessary#might have to repeat this in text and not in tags :p#idiotic-b-gilson
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I am not and I would rather keep it that way. (... does this person know something I do not...?)
#pokemon#pokeask#ask blog#ic#answered#capital tag#askcapital#smiles#whoops I meant to queue this#whatever it's fine#fanservice friday you get two asks for the price of one
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I've actually been scrounging for an ending to Ellenville, because it's hard to actually 'end' a tragedy with something that feels complete, and that last post hit me with yeah, that's right. Because we live in a world where blood is protection and the cost of safety; and it fits in so neatly with the themes of death as stasis and longevity.
The 'end' is the regulations in place. Not even watching it happen, but success. This is The Pushcart War but epic fantasy.
#ellenville#ptxt#Jean Merrill is up there with Jean Craighead George for the imprinting I did on Pushcart War and Toothpaste Millionaire.#Which is ironic as FUCK because my curriculum definitely wanted me to take away 'You can be entrepreneurial too! Which is killing big truck#And undercutting big toothpaste business by packing yours in sterilized baby jars!' when I actually took away what Merrill#wanted which was: 'Hey isn't it fucked up that large companies think they can push you around and we need a capitalist underdog#success story to feel happy about our lives and role in the ongoing oligarchy of capitalism?'#Homeschooling with sonlight was fucking wild. I read so many good books as a kid and credit it to the fact I grew up with empathy#But it also meant I grew up with States Rights narratives and libertarian propaganda I had to unlearn.#Total aside because this is a tag essay anyway and I don't want to make a new post: I found out my advisor was also homeschooled#Which is probably why we're the exact same person I'm just 12 years behind them without the accent. My own brother almost#mistook them for me from behind and he gets pissy about it lol. 'There are two of them now!'#BUT I SWEAR I'M NOT COPYING THEM. WE JUST HAPPEN TO HAVE THE EXACT SAME HISTORICAL INTERESTS AND#SLAVISH DEVOTION TO GEOLOGY THAT TRANSFORMED INTO THE APPLICATIONS OF GEOLOGY AS A SCIENCE.#In my defense they have a much broader and recent focus on geology: usually for the impact of mining/geology on historical events.#Whereas I like the economic and logistical side of things. Like who hated who because they had beef over the same mines Nitrate War style
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Watching one of the recent Factually! episodes about unions and this woman is talking about 9/11 (she's a flight attendant) and how something that really changed her forever was watching her friends die--knowing exactly when they died, having it filmed from every angle possible because they were in the second plane--and then finding out that literal moments afterwards, while she and thousands of other people were still in shock, much less really letting themselves fully mourn yet, crisis capitalists were already discussing how this could be used to renegotiate flight attendant positions and mechanic positions.
Capitalism is a craven and disgusting system that loves to profit from tragedy.
#tomi talks#uhhh feels kinda weird to tag this 9/11 especially cuz I feel like if you search that on this site a lot of what would come up are jokes#and this is unfortunately. a bit of a. looking at the actual tragic loss of life due to a terror attack kinda thing. so. maybe not meant--#--to pop up right next to 'a second tesla has hit the wtc' y'know#anyone who reads all the tags I put on shit I'm sorry#I can't help who I am I have a lot of additional things to say all the time. I can't shut up#anyway capitalism huh. literally the fucking worst
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god. I have got to get more throw pillows
#this is a serious problem that happens to most people after a certain age#I’m genuinely not joking#you come to the realization that interesting throw pillows REALLY being somethign to a space like nothing else can#and youre like. well how much could a small pillow cost? it’s so small it cannot cost thaaat much#and it’s in that moment that you really feel the weight of how much of a rancid beast capitalism truly is#you can’t let this make you fully bitter but it’s normal to have a strong reaction#same thing happens with rugs too#ugh#peace and love on planet earth 😔#*bring. I meant to say bring. TAG EDITING WHEN?????
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Sorry I can’t come into work today because I stayed up too late smoking that shit and ranting with my partner about the benefits of socialism and communism, tearing down the pre-existing systems and governments and how exploitative it all is, and
#this thought doesn’t have an end#it keeps going forever and forever#just like the conversation we had#and thank god#because it’s the best kinds of conversations ever#and I don’t want them to end#provide universal basic income so I don’t have to go into work in the morning and I can stay up yelling about capitalism with the ones I lov#that last tag was supposed to end with ‘the ones I love’ but tumblr cut me off because they’re afraid#anyway#revolution#Data Processor Girl said fuck work#and she meant it#the profit incentive is the basis of the harm that Americans deal to each other#and to be completely real?#a hefty portion of the reason that America deals harm to others outside of America too#don’t autocapitalize that you fucker#aaaaanyway#the other reason is racism#what I’m saying is fuck America and fuck America-centrism#and fuck centrists in America lmao#okay it’s really pissing me off that my keyboard is capitalizing that bastard country#I should go into my keyboard settings and set a custom rule overwrite lmao#goodnight
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-sees a post that is doing good criticism of the current state of internet purity culture
-it’s a good post keep reading
-capital T “They”
-nevermind
#greenie.txt#greenie's vent tag#jewish on main#idk if the op meant something else doing that but if you use capital T They to describe a controlling force#i am out IMMEDIATELY
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okay :)
i had gotten a dog, so the dog was a factor. dogs have to be the right size and shape. under 50 pounds. please see our restricted breeds list. he sleeps most of the time, a well-behaved menace. he's big because i'm single in the city and it gets dark here early - but i've had to trade that sense of safety for scrambling-for-housing.
cheerfully i report that i live in a hole! because humor, like vicks, soothes what-is-horrible. the windows are painted shut. the fridge sometimes just shuts off for no reason. there are only 2 working stove burners and they're not in the front. for some reason, rust is everywhere, no matter whether it makes sense for an area to rust. the door in the bathroom has a very badly-patched hole; white-yellow stark against the bad cherry vinyl.
okay. it's what i can afford. the pamphlet had said new england nepenthes(TM) apartments: a beautiful place to grow up. and yes, it's ground-floor, which isn't ideal. so we (my dog and i) have successfully secured the door with one of those big prybars that are 50 dollars. also i usually balance something heavy near any possible entrances - i want to be awake when they fall. you know, during the break-in.
for the first four months, i didn't notice. there had been so much to do in those four months. okay, our (okay, my, he doesn't pay rent) kitchen is literally four tiles wide and undivided from the other spaces. the dining room and office are also the living room (which is. also the kitchen). my bed is too big for the bedroom; i can either have it weirdly against the wall with a door (horrible) or i have to give up opening my closet all the way.
my mama raised me on martha stewart, so. it's quiet here, i love the location, and even if it's rundown, i can make it work. i buy peel-and-stick reusable wallpaper that has long lines to make it look like everything is taller. i move the plants around, trying to get them into the most sun. i put up shelves and hope that i'll have enough spackle later to cover up the worst mistakes i've made with the nail gun. and hey! the location. like the pamphlet said: a beautiful place to grow up.
it's in the middle of putting up our new wrought iron plant holders. i have adhd, time when i'm focused can pass ephemerally. oh shit, i realize. it's 9:30 in the evening. i am probably keeping people awake with all the drilling. fuck. my bad. i tilt an ear upstairs, waiting. nobody slamming the floor with a broom. nobody shouting. maybe quiet hours are at 10 and they're just waiting.
the holders are real wrought iron because my plants weigh a lot. i press the last one above my head, against the pilot holes. now i feel bad about the time. i should just wrap up this last one i'm attaching and then go to bed. if i wait, i'll forget in the morning. distracted, i look down to where i've left the screws on my desk (which is often also my dining room table and art station), and, as if the wall spat the screws out, the iron slips out of my grasp and cracks me hard against my nose before tumbling down to the floor.
fuck.
one of the worst things about living alone is when you get hurt. sparks jump in front of me. my eyes start tearing. fuck! i've broken my nose before, this feels like that. fuck fuck fuck. maybe it's not broken?
i have to hobble off the stool, trying to hold my nose while also not wanting to touch it. i do the first adult thing i can think of - call a bigger adult.
hey mama. i pant into the phone. no worries but how do i know if i broke my nose?
30 minutes later, we have decided it hurt but if i don't have a black eye, the nose is fine. it was already out of alignment anyway. i say the whole sordid story to her, and then i add i just feel bad i lost track of time, it's weird none of my neighbors complained.
as soon as i hang up, i hear the upstairs neighbors, with their quiet feet and soft, muffled voices. i hear people to the right and left of me. i hear them murmuring to each other. someone watches bad tv, i can hear the reality show music-to-dramatic-shouting.
i put ice on my face. i google nose break again just to be sure. i ask my dog if he thinks i look ugly, he responds by putting his three paws into the air and asking for a tummy rub. as part of our nightly ritual, i examine and worry about his amputation, even though it's completely healed up. i still do the physical therapy exercises with him. just in case. just to keep him warmed up.
later in bed, i am reaching to turn on gentle rain for white noise before i realize - huh. i think this evening is the first time i've ever actually heard anyone.
you ever have a thought that gets inside of you? i mean, yeah. of course you do, i guess all thoughts are inside you. but once in a while, don't you get one of those haha funny! thoughts that turns. bad. you know, when you've watched a scary movie and close the laptop and think it's not likely there's a killer in there, but have i ever really checked that deeply in the kitchen sink?
i was always the type to check. just in case. to put my mind at ease.
the thought is there when i wake up, like i'd had it for a while: i never actually see anyone coming and going.
the apartment complex is 12 buildings, staggered like spokes on a clock. i live in 6, the furthest from the road. we are spaced unevenly, but when i first saw it, i thought huh. what a nice quiet community. the grass is green and there are never any leaves. i've never seen someone come mow it. there are cars here, plenty. when was the last time you counted which cars are in the communal lot?
isn't it weird how you're always able to snag that one last spot?
i keep weird hours, is all. i laugh at the thought of it. there was a post on tumblr once that asked how long would it take you to realize the building was entirely empty. but it can't be empty, right? at night, when i can see into other people's apartments, i catch sight of the thousand ways other people decorate. blue LED lights or tapestries or nice curtains. so it is silly to think about that post, when i know other people are here. this is someone else's home.
i mention it to my sister when she comes over to help me move the couch purposelessly around before we both decide it was better where i'd originally had it. nobody, like, lives here. i say. it's weird. i've been here for five months, and i don't see anyone.
she shrugs. maybe it's too expensive for the area, or not really advertised enough. maybe most people my age keeping my hours don't like to live in apartments. who is to say.
after that, the shadows start. my dog and i go on our nighttime walk, and then i see the apartments come to life. the flickered silhouettes of them. the flash of tvs and laptops. the gauzy shape of others just-far-enough i can't quite make out their form. they walk away from the windows if i get close enough.
they must not know how to do it right. every third day, the animations repeat.
oh, i get it. i think. i'm living in a horror novel.
i'm cuban. my culture can be superstitious, yes. but it also means that i have been taught to keep my head on a swivel. we do not fuck with this shit. we do not oujia board the spirits for fun. we do not make a joke about the killer. we do not ever tempt fate, her ears are open-and-listening.
my lease is for one year. it's been five months, that's not that much longer. i can't afford to break it (or to move) at the moment. and, again, the dog factor. and i do love the location.
but once it is obvious, it is so obvious. i try to pay my rent by check just the once, but when i swing by the rental office, the whole floor of the building is dark. there is no cheerful team of realtors, only a single dark panel over door. due to unexpected circumstances, we are currently operating elsewhere. i go online and pay there instead.
no one here hosts parties. the mail truck never seems to come to any of the other buildings. my dog doesn't like going near certain places. i discover a 5-foot radius where my phone will always hang up on the person i'm talking with, even if i have service.
i watch carefully, while also pretending i am not watching. i check my mail, waiting for the electricity bill that never comes calling. in the front hall, amazon packages come with names too smudged for me to ever quite read. sanchez, maybe. then, to the same apartment a week later: tawny reed. it's different again the third week. i stop looking, feeling like i'm prying.
i mention how quiet it is here during the day to one of my bosses, and then the upstairs neighbor appears. her alarm goes off when mine does, almost like an echo. when i change my song, it takes her a few days to keep up. i had said something offhand about how i'm the only one with a dog. then, upstairs - the little patter of dog paws.
at night, i start seeing people on my dog walking route. they pace, insubstantial, something black at the end of their lead. their waving arms always bent at right angles, like they are figuring out how to navigate being 3D. i always wave back, cheerfully. i keep my headphones in. they are over there in the mist that-does-not-belong, and i am over here in the light-that-flickers-on-and-off. i do not need to make a scene about this. there are many reasons people might dissolve into nothing. it is not any of my business.
the upstairs girl smokes. i see her with her (pomeranian? poodle?) little rat-rabbit-dog (? dog in the loosest sense of the word), her legs up on the stoop. she always goes inside when i show up to our building, after giving me one of those straight side-to-side waves. i can never quite make out her features. she won't be there when i leave for our walk, but she'll be there when we get back, no matter how long my walk takes. she watching me, her eyes dark. she sits there, smoking, wearing galaxy-print leggings. the little dog running near her. (sometimes the dog is not there, until i look again, and it is. i must have just missed it, or maybe it was hiding under one of the trim little bushes. not my concern, whatever it is.)
i know she smokes, i can see the red glow and smell it on the air after. but there are no places to dispose of the butts and she never leaves behind any litter. so she must be careful with them, which i appreciate. cigarettes are bad for the environment. i am in no place to judge someone for their vices anyway. during the day, sometimes i hear her dog (a corgi? a terrier?) whine, this thin, reedy sound, like someone gasping for breath. like someone buried alive. a howl like dread. sometimes it even sounds human; garbled and anxious, bow wow wow warping into help help help.
but i'm sure my dog whines when i'm gone, too. i will not report her for this, because it's not her fault. and i don't want to get her in trouble. after all, we all love our dogs so much.
when i write a request for maintenance to help me with ants, i get a bounce-back error. three days later, we wake up, and a sea of dead ant bodies litter my carpet. an inch deep, they float on each other's backs, a black blanket.
i vacuum them up. i feel bad about their little ant souls. i tell them i am sorry. i will light a candle. i tell myself - this is no different than calling an exterminator. to remove yourself from the process is an act of careful self-duplicity - we would have been killing the ants another way, and just anticipating someone else handle the transaction.
how do i call someone about this? i cannot break the lease because i think the others here are ghosts. or my other theory: maybe the whole thing is a carnivore, and i am in the belly, already beginning to rot.
we cannot afford to move, it's only been six months. the heat and the lights stay on. i never invite others over. it feels wrong. we are alone here, the way we should be alone here. this is our place, for me and my dog and the rest of us. we are supposed to be here. we are supposed to live here, in this little hole-in-the-ground apartment.
we are not under any form of threat, anyway. i light candles and say the prayers our father taught us. we keep our distance from the mist ones, and adopt their way of waving, side-to-side. it is starting to look less like a wave and more like beckoning. come on, come on. something keeps us locking our door. we put up more wrought iron, even after it hit us so hard-on-the-face, which wasn't fun, and was very mean. maybe we should take it down - except i know it was so much effort to put up. oh the tub leaks and the freezer has begin to lock while it's shut. our boss says we look pale these days. we blame insomnia. it's just that it's so quiet here, sometimes. we like to make ourselves go very-quiet too, like a mouse. and then we turn that horrible white-noise machine on. we are so strange; we push salt down the drains and into our doorways, which is a waste and a bad thing to do. we do not look into the electricity problem. we fix the lightbulb without complaint. we do not send in new notices to maintenance, even when the rust on the walls starts running. we get fabulosa and scrub everything. we do not make a fuss. when our neighbors that have-no-jaw open the door for us, we keep our eyes on our dog and say thank you! and make polite small-talk. when they garble their responses let your welcome out, (no throat but the sound's so loud?)-we say haha yeah and scoot by the cold spot. we help others get their groceries out of the car even though the bags smell rotten. we do not use the basement laundry room with the single pale yellow lightbulb, even though it is so friendly and warm and free; we drive elsewhere for that, which might be lazy of me. whenever we leave, we take our dog, even though he would be fine alone, surrounded by the strange creep of rust. we are kind, and not frenzied. isn't that strange? shouldn't we be frenzied? there have been so many odd things here, shouldn't we be reacting? instead we sit in our apartment and say, casually - oh, i'm fine. how fun! how interesting. are we waiting for something? if we're waiting, which of us is hiding and which of us is hunting? we count our days on the lease - six months left! we can grow to enjoy it here. it has its quirks, but hey. sometimes staying for the location is reason-enough.
and we love it here. it's a beautiful place to grow up.
i've seen enough horror movies starring upper-middle-income white families stuck in spacious haunted mansions. gimme stories about millennials stuck in haunted studio apartments. consider the realism:
why is this protagonist staying in an obviously haunted building despite the glaring warning signs? because a week at a motel would send them spiraling into credit card debt, they'll take their chances with the vengeful spirits. why did they chose this apartment complex to begin with, despite the many many unexplained mysterious deaths that show up on the first page of a google search? hon some of us don't have the credit score to move away from high (paranormal) crime areas. how could i be so careless as to sign a soul-binding contract with a demonic entity? bitch they're called LANDLORDS
#this is so much longer than i meant it to be#but uhhhhhhhhh#low rent housing complexes as angler fish demons i guess#this one isn't gay im sorry#im sorry to my fans to my people and to the academy#i am reflecting on my choices and putting myself in Gay Jail in the meantime#posts that make you google the scientific name of pitcher plants#posts that require u to know some of the common ways of warding off malicious spirits#edit in the tags as this picks up speed: hi i love u all :) thank u for liking this piece#i love monsters that are not explicitly malicious - just hungry. i love when it isn't 2 people who are trying to outsmart each other#but instead - here is someone who thinks they can outlast the monster's hunger#(uses salt. wrought iron in the walls which gets spat out. candles. minding ya own business)#versus a monster that is VERY old and VERY good at waiting.#in the wild large predators dont need to feed as often as we see in horror movies#snakes and other swallow-whole apex predators DO get energy from the actual process of digestion#even if much slower than our own digestive cycle#..... so towards the end yes there's a pronoun shift#and there's also a conversation that's happening that i'm being very careful about#the narrator's choices which HURT the building's chance of devouring them are still first person#and/or are directly insulted in the italics#(why not use the beautiful extremely creepy laundry room it's free laundry come be eaten!!!!!)#bc . i didn't want to end this story with “then they die the end”#we leave this story at 6 months. the narrator is very smart . the narrator has lasted a long time. the narrator is doing better than most#but it is a very very very old building. and u have another 6 months there.#i don't know who wins. i don't want YOU to know who wins either#we (you & me) will leave them (the building & the tenant & the dog) there for now#i like to picture them moving out#but then i look at my rent check and the fact this is based on my real life current apartment#and i think.... what if the biggest hunting tool is just. that outside is capitalism. and there are plenty of us (u & me) in the tags sayin#''well they seem very polite. and if there's a good location & the rent is cheap...."
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all of this is /j and /lh!!
edit: just realized thay capitalization's not a thing on tumblr whoops. that explains why i haven't seen it on here tho lol
also how did 0.3 of you choose it if it doesn't exist that's like 16 thousand and oh my god how are there this many of y'all
oopsies i can't do math i meant 160ish
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#kpop rambling feel free to ignore#the thing about stray kids and ateez getting even more massively popular is that i am genuinely so happy for them?#like when i sort of half-watched that kingdom season years ago both groups struck me as just#incredibly talented and hard-working but also as just great guys? like making the whole show into more of a#lovefest (kinda) that a competition seems to have come from them being friendly and kind and refusing to be#bitchy and backstabby just to 'mske television' or whatever - so it came off more like the olympics lol#where people just want to do their very best and encourage their fellow participants to do *their* best etc etc#and i do love quite a few ateez songs - if not as much of their most recent stuff and admire stray kids style and ethos#even if most of their song catalog just doesn't click for me - bc that's cool! not everything is *for me*#i can recognize skill and talent and hard work even when something doesn't conform exactly to my personal vibe#(and also beauty is beauty like come on both groups are SO visually stunning they deserve every contract/close-up/photoshoot)#even though i mostly post about bts because i LOVE their music including the solo releases i still reblog skz and ateez#because they are amazing and i am thrilled that they're getting all the attention and success they deserve#(although maybe getting a little overworked like my gods i know you gotta capitalize on the moment#i do understand but let these men catch a *breath* you know - we've seen what happens when groups get exhausted and scheduled to death)#i just feel weird sometimes as a not official fan of the music always but more the groups as ... people? performers? idk#i just like them and think they're neat lol#and i keep wanting to say something about it but i think it'd be weird to leave the sentiment in like tags on someone's gifset or something#it's not like i don't think plenty of other groups are gorgeous and hardworking as well (lyon for life! ha)#i just keep vaguely paying attention to charts bc of bts solo stuff and seeing people like making an either/or proposition#out of who you like and i'm just happy they are all successful and getting their due?#like these guys are normalizing publicly being friends across companies and fandoms as well as#having boundaries and manners and calling out industry bullshit - i couldn't be more proud of them for that#and for sort of taking up where bts had to leave off bc of ms in pushing the industry forward#like 4th gen is doing the WORK and while building off the foundations laid beforehand they're also#remaining down to earth and not ... untouchable? for the fans? and just generally presenting a 'regular guys' type image#which ... i guess i'm old and remember when a group of twentysomething guys meant public wastedness and clubbing and#horrible sexist girlfriend situationships and gossip columns and seemingly competing to appear like the most 'gangsta'#so like legos and fashion design and amateur asmr etc are reassuring pastimes lol#like not implying they don't drink or scuffle or get up to things but just the sense of being dedicated professionals is VERY clear
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And I see random folks in the replies complaining about STINKY FEET SMELL and I don't even fucking know what to tell you all except that THAT STENCH IS BECAUSE YOU WEAR SHOES AND POLYESTER SOCKS ALL THE TIME.
Let your feet get some AIR and A GOOD WASH. Do that ON THE REGULAR and your feet will have less of the bacteria and fungus that *causes* the foot stank.
Get that antifungal spray and some baking soda in your shoes until they stop stinking, and maybe get a second pair of shoes. Literally, you can extend the lifetime of your shoes by alternating between two pairs because they get to AIR OUT and such.
fascinated/horrified by this set of tweets…
#basic biology my dudes#i am begging you#take better care of your feet#also#pee on your feet in the shower#the uric acid helps kill that ish#and you know rinse it off too#shoes were an amazing invention!#modern capitalism is fucking ruining them#not only are they made of plastics and not breathable and women's shoes are made to make walking harder#but the “standard” width is getting narrower#which fucks up your feet#literally deforming your feet from childhood on#your toe box is meant to be wide enough for a solid fucking stance#but here and now I'm about to start buying men's sneakers just to have a *chance* at having my toes and the balls of my feet not be squashed#rants in the tags
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Month 2 day 2, and it's not even Two's Day :\ Oh well, that was last year.
ANYWHO
I got some in between frames done to make the animation a wee bit smoother at the very beginning, but then I went "wait a second, are the legs clipping through each other?" So I started to fix that, but then my phone went "HEY DIPSHIT GO TO BED" so I'm posting my update for the night and then doing as past!me told when she set up the bedtime feature
#the great artscapade of 2023#art#my art#my animation#oc: mizu#eventually#I should probably stop tagging that until it's actually her#gonna clutter up my own tag#not that I don't already clutter up all the rest of the proper/organizational tags I use#so anyway I meant what I said in the tags last night#$5000 a month and I'll be your SFW OSHA-compliant art bitch until you stop paying me#no takers so far#(not that I expect any takers tbh but goddamn a girl can dream)#(I just want to live a life where I don't have to worry about bills and have as much free time as I need to do all the things i want to do)#(like animate)#(IS THAT TOO MUCH TO ASK!??!?!)#(capitalism says yes and also get back to work)#(meanwhile the cat says ''EXCUSE YOU IT IS TIME FOR SLEEPS AND CUDDLES GO PEE AND GET YOUR BITCH ASS IN BED SO I CAN GET MY SNUGGLES IN D<)#(which is a demand I will happily comply with bc it means I get snuggles)#(anyway good night!)
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pairing: Gwayne x fiancé reader
summary: Gwayne may have lost the tourney, but he gained a better prize.
tags: female reader, reader is from the Reach, heterosexual relationship, hand job, mentions of injury, subtle Gwayne daddy issues (not sexy, just Gwayne being Gwayne), Gwayne being a simp for his lady
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When Gwayne told his father one day, at about the age of six, that he was going to take up the sword and learn to be a knight, all his father said was, “are you sure?”
His opinion on the announcement did not seem to sway one way or another, much like his opinion on the actual son. Their lady mother had given him an heir, a spare, a daughter, and Gwayne. His brothers would be learned men like their father, so Gwayne thought he could be useful by being a marshal man for his family. He was actually quite good at it too. All of his instructors said so. His training partners. The men of their House bannermen.
But no one would know that now as Gwayne was quickly unseated in the first round of the tournament. A lucky shot. Luckier still as it could have been fatal, but instead just a wound to his left side and pride. To fall in front of his father and beloved sister wounded him still.
Gwayne had taken what was left of his pride and limped off the tourney grounds. Making it to an awaiting sick bay as injuries in tournaments were more common than not. He had to be stripped out of his armor like a pleb. Been tended to like an invalid while he grit his teeth and let the maester wrap his broken ribs. Just the one, actually. But it was enough to knock him out of the tournament for the rest of the week.
He sighed and rested his head against the headboard. All he wanted was to show his family that his efforts had not been in vain. To show them what he was working so hard for while they were in the Capital. Now he would have to wait for the next tournament. If his father even bothered to show up.
“Gwayne?” The knight looked up from his self-pity musing at the door and found his fiancé there. In his pain and grief over his disappointing show, he had completely forgotten she had been in the crowd too. Wonderful. Another beloved to witness his failure. “Are you alright? That fall…it looked rather nasty…”
“It wasn’t ideal.” He winced as he tried to move his arm to pull his shirt on. Finding it immodest to be in just bandages in front of a lady. She came to his side instantly, helping him pull his arm through with as little discomfort as possible. “Sorry you came all this way to witness such a poor showing. Or waste your favor.”
“It is not a waste Gwayne. Do not say such things.”
Gwayne reached in his pocket and pulled her ribbon from his trousers. She had given it to him the night before, in private, wishing him good fortune & safety in the events to come. He had had it in his breastplate when the games started, and squirrel it away into his pocket after he was injured so it wouldn’t be thrown away. “You should give it to a better knight then I. I’m done for.”
“You fell off a horse Gwayne, not the edge of the world.” She told him. “And, there is no better knight than you for me.” She pushed her offered ribbon back at him with a stern look. “If you keep speaking this way, I shall have to give back your favor and return to the Reach.”
His eyes lit up in alarm. Knowing that she meant his ring, and he could not have that. “Alright. I’m sorry.” To lose the tournament was one thing, but to lose her. Gwayne couldn’t stand it.
She smiled at him. Seeming pleased that he had gotten the hint on not being so hard on himself, and looked around quickly before she leaned in for a kiss. “I know you’re disappointed. But you’re alive and relatively unscathed.”
“And handsome.” He quipped back as he was starting to feel in good spirits. “Do not forget that.”
“Oh, how could I.” His beguiling fiancé leaned in to kiss him again. Longer this time. “Thank the Gods for fine helmets.”
It took Gwayne’s brain a bit to catch on that her hands were moving around his waist band. Perhaps it was the loss of air from their kissing. Or that his bell got run pretty hard in the fall and he was still recovering. Or perhaps still it was simply just her. But he caught on just about the time the cool air brushed against his nether regions, and he sprung up. “What are you doing?” He asked. His back teeth setting against the pain of his sudden movement as he fretfully looked over towards the door.
“Helping you relax.” She replied with some cheek. “I heard the maesters say you needed to do that and rest if you were to heal.”
“And you think undressing me in a room where just anyone could walk in is going to help me relax??”
“Well, no. Perhaps not that part.” Gwayne wheezed in a breath, as much as his battered ribs would allow, when she reached in and took hold of him. “But this part might.”
Gwayne knew not the touch of another, save his own hand. Though he took no vow like the King’s Guard when he became a knight, he had made a personal vow that he would be stalwart in his honor & practice. Dutiful to his House as to not sully it by laying Flowers at their doors. He does not ask how his future wife knew of such things. In all honesty, he did not want to know. All he could think about in that moment, after the shock and panic of getting caught, was how good her soft hand felt around his cock.
His member hardened quickly under her touch. Gwayne was still a young, virile man, with adrenaline still lingering in his veins, a strong breeze could get him up. He moaned quietly as his lady’s hand stroked him. Long steady pulls of her hand up & down. Watching as he was transfixed by this surreal experience that was happening to him.
“Does it feel good my love?” Gwayne nodded. His lord’s education failing him as he could not articulate in this moment how good it felt. “Good. I want to know how you like it, so I can prepare for our wedding night.” He moaned, or perhaps whimpered, at the thought. Just another 3 months. Just another 3 months and she would be his wife, and he would have her all to himself. Her body, her mind, her heart; though she had been clear that he already had the latter two. His hips bucked up at the thought of her beneath him and Gwayne let out a sharp cry that was crossed between one of pleasure & pain as his ribs were jostled again. Then he heard a flurry of scurried motion behind the door.
Panick set in, the fear of getting caught welling up inside him. Not just for himself but her as well. How would they explain such lewd behavior if they were caught? Her reputation would be besmirched. His father might call off the engagement in the face of such scandal!
Luckily his wife to be was not only beautiful but clever. Like all fine roses of the Reach. She quickly pulled a blanket over his midsection and placed their hands together over the spot where the obvious tenting would be. “Forgive me, my lady. I thought I heard his lordship call for help.”
“Such a steward of care you are, Maester Callen.” Her voice was sweet, complimentary, and hypnotic to Gwayne. “Just a twinge of the ribs from a sudden movement. The injury is new. Our silly Ser must have forgotten he had it for a moment.” Gwayne swallowed as her little finger brushed against the outline of him through the blankets. His jaw having to set as to not moan in a very indiscrete way in from of the maester.
“Are you sure he is alright?” Maester Callen asked. A curious look all men of learning seemed to get when they asked questions. “Your lordship looks feverish. There could be an underlying infection from the trauma—“I’m fine.” Gwayne barked quickly. His noble resolve hanging on by a thread thinner than this blanket. “I just need rest, as you said. Please,” ‘oh Gods, please, please, please!’ he thought as his lady continued to stroke him with just the finest touch to the point of madness this whole time, “leave us so I might finish my conversation with my lady and be about that.”
The maester seemed still curious, but asked no further questions. He bowed his head, then closed the door behind him as he left. “Good Gods….!” Gwayne hissed through his teeth as he writhed freely now that they were alone again.
“That was a close one.”
“You insufferable minx!” He hissed at her. That cheeky grin on her face was infuriating but also the vision from his dreams. “You nearly got us caught!”
“I’m not the one who inadvertently called him in here, now did I my love?” Gwayne had a few more sharp words for her but they all vanished as her hand pulled back the blanket again and stroked him fully.
His head tilted back with a moan. The fear of almost being caught, damning though it would be, had only heightened the sensation. He warned her that he was close, not sure if she knew what that meant, and let her swallow his final moans in a kiss as he came all over her hand and his linen dressings. She let him go, a soft kiss on his lips like a seal before she pulled away, and he slumped back against the bed like a witless fool.
“There. Now you can relax & rest completely, my love.” Gwayne nodded. Not sure what she was talking about right now, but rest sounded nice right now. “I shall come to see you tomorrow once they move you back to your quarters. We’ll have the whole afternoon to ourselves, since everyone will at the tournament.” Oh right. The tournament. He was supposed to apart of that. Showing his family & father how much he had trained for them. It suddenly didn’t seem all that important anymore. “Get better, my love.”
She kissed him one last time and then saw herself out. The picture of civility and the dutiful fiancé come to shower well wishes on her mate to be. No one knew, or would know, what had happened between them. Gwayne felt his spent cock twitch a little as he watched her walk away. Just 3 more months. Just 3 more months felt like an eternity all of a sudden.
#;pen & paper (fanfiction)#gwayne hightower#gwayne x reader#gwayne hightower x reader#gwayne fanfic#gwayne x you#ser gwayne hightower#gwayne hightower x you#gwayne imagine#house of the dragon scenarios#house of the dragon imagine#hotd scenarios#hotd imagine#hotd smut#house of the dragon smut
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