#but god it pisses me off so much i hate it when he gets objectified and used because of his looks

[minhoinator]

...

[i-literally-cant-with-this]

WC ::: 5,200

A/N ::: I have it bad for Bakugo right now. I pretty much worked on this all damn day. Which will explain any errors you may find. I read and reread on Google Docs but it's almost 11pm and my tired eyes can take no more. It if's horrific, please tell me so I can fix it. I hate a misspelled word. Grammatical is fine. Love grammatical errors. I do them on purpose. Now I'm rambling and need to go to bed. Enjoy! Thank you for having Baku-Flu with me.

C/W ::: Too tired to elaborate. I'll fix it tomorrow. But MINORS, LOOK DOWN AND WALK AWAY. DOWN ... AWAY. Aged up Bakugo, Sorta slow burn, playful banter, alcohol use (not much), oral {M->F}, sex, quippy conversation. The End. Like I said, I'll fix this tomorrow, objectifying Bakugo? Admiring his ass. Idk. Leave me alone.

Hard to Get

It wasn't long after you turned on the tv that your mind started to wander. You were thinking about your best friend's birthday party you just got home from. You were thinking about Bakugo who was there, looking so delicious. 

His neck muscles turned and twitched whenever he moved his head or swallowed something. His lips curled into a sick and tight smirk whenever he looked at you. Your stomach would drop to your pussy and it made you feel sick in the best way.

The show you were watching was of little interest. Your hands had been resting on your spread legs as you lay on the couch, rubbing your inner thighs in slow, soft circles. Unaware of just how much you were turning yourself on while mindlessly daydreaming of him. Of Bakugo, being the one who's resting between your knees, touching you so sweetly. Wishing he was the one edging you closer and closer to your release.

The clock on your mantel chimed, signaling the end of this day and the start of a new one. You had no reason to stay up so you decided to call it and go to bed. You brush your teeth. Wash your face (with cold water - one last attempt at cooling yourself off) and climb into bed.

It was an hour before you even felt tired and it pissed you off that you laid there tossing and turning for so long. Still horny. Still too stubborn to give in and bring yourself some relief. You didn't want to touch yourself. You wanted Bakugo to do it. And since he wasn't here, you were going to throw a little hissy fit that only you would know about. Whatever.

You were just nodding off in your soft blankets and warm bed when your phone lit up and a pretty little chime resonated through your dark room.

"Hey." Is all it said. You didn't recognize the number, not even a little bit. So you texted back that they have the wrong number. No one you know generally texts this late at night anyway. Putting the phone down on your nightstand you rolled over and squished yourself back down into the mattress.

"No, I don't have the wrong number. I got this from {friend's name}, y/n =)."

"Ok, so all that tells me is you're a creepy asshole who harassed my best friend and got my cell number from them. Lose it. Permanently."

"Tsktsktsk. That's no way to talk to the guy who you were making fuck me eyes at over the birthday cake. Now is it, sweetheart?"

You laughed, "{Males name}, I'm so relieved to hear from you! I thought since you were there with your wife and kids you wouldn't notice me making fuck me eyes at you. When can I see you again? WITHOUT the fam, ok? They were a real drag."

"The FUCK! You calling me a creepy asshole is real rich. It's Bakugo, dumbass."

"Who?" This was too fun.

"Oh my God, you're so annoying, y/n. Bye. YOU lose MY number PERMANENTLY!"

"Bakugo, waitttt wait wait! I'm fucking with you lol! Jesus. You're so serious all the time! What're you doing up so late? Isn't it past your bedtime?"

"I don't have a bedtime, little girl. I make my own rules, baby."

"Who you calling a little girl? I'll have you know I no longer piss the bed. Well, unintentionally, anyway."

"YOU'RE FUCKING SICK!"

"You love it. There's no shame when it comes to sex. The dirtier the better, I say."

"..."

"Pussy got your tongue?"

"What?"

You huffed, "Pussy (Cat) got your tongue?"

"..."

Minutes passed before he said anything so you texted him again. "You typing with one hand? You know, some phones have a one-handed setting. It might be helpful for when you're ... well, using one hand for typing and one hand for something else. Just FYI. Anyway, if you're done, I'm going to try and get some sleep. I have stuff I gotta do tomorrow."

"..."

And that was the end of that conversation with Bakugo.

‧͙⁺˚*･༓☾‧͙⁺˚*･༓☾‧͙⁺˚*･༓☾

You woke up just the way you went to sleep: Horny. But you overslept and had some things to take care of before you could even think about doing that. Your shower was quick and way less hot than usual. The clothes you put on were loose-fitting and casual. This is what Saturday's were made for. Being comfortable, getting shit done and then spending the day lounging around.

There was one parking spot left at the post office and you were about to take it when some fucker on a motorcycle swooped in and stole it right out from underneath your tires.

"What the fuck, asshole!" You got out of your car and yelled at the person with the black, stickered helmet sitting on their shoulders. "I was going to park there, kindly move your fucking bike? Jesus."

The person came over to you and stood unnervingly close. So close to you that you had to back up against your car. "Um, personal space, dick." You pushed them away, your fingers dug into their hard chest muscles. You had to admit, with how much you've wanted to fuck lately, they felt so good. But that didn't change the fact they were a total piece of shit for taking this so far.

"You don't recognize me, little girl?"

"Little girl??" Where have you heard that recently. You narrowed your eyes and said, "{Males name}? Is that you hiding your asshole face behind the helmet?"

The man laughed and pulled his helmet off. "Yeah, yeah. It's me, {Males name}. You're a fucking idiot." He chuckled again and leaned in to hug you.

"Heyyy, Bakugo." You said in a quiet little voice. You wrapped your arms around his neck and backed yourself up the rest of the way against your car, pulling him with you. "You ..." you exhaled in his ear, "are so ..." pushing your tits into his pecs, "fucking ... mmmuch of an asshole." Pushing him away you pointed at the spot he took before you even had a chance to turn your blinker on. "I - why do you even need a whole spot? You can just leave that dumb thing on the sidewalk!"

"DON'T!" He grabbed you by the cheeks, squishing them together, causing your lips to squish out. His sudden movement and his hands so rough on you made you weak in the knees. "Don't talk about her like that. Ok?" He looked at his motorcycle and back at you.

You put your hands up, surrendering yourself to his tantrum. "S-sorry. Shit, sorry, ok?" He let go of your face and took a couple of steps back. "What did you need to do here? I can do it for you." He offered.

"I just have to ship this package and drop this in the outbox. I think I can handle it." You started to get back into your car.

"I'm sorry. Fuck. I didn't mean to ---" you shook your head at him, silently asking him to not bother with the apology.

"I get it. And you know what? Here." You tossed the small package to him and dug a $10 out of your pocket and gave that to him as well. "Thanks, parking spot stealer. Catch ya on the flipside."

He moved out of the way as you drove off without so much as a smile, a wave or even a resentful glare. 

But he waved at you.

‧͙⁺˚*･༓☾‧͙⁺˚*･༓☾‧͙⁺˚*･༓☾

The next time you saw Bakugo was at the coffee shop with your friend's boyfriend. You walked in and saw him with his stupid pointy blond hair and that stupid grimace on his stupid ... hot face.

You pretended to not see him even though you noticed him as soon as you walked up to the large window front.

The door chimed, signaling the entrance of a new patron. For some reason, all eyes went to you. Like you were the millionth customer or something.

Still, you kept your eyes on the floor and made your way straight to the order counter.

The cashier took your order and you were about to hand them the $9 for your fancy coffee when Bakugo swooped in and pushed your hand down so he could pay for you.

"Hey, y/n. Uh, lemme get this for ya? Let me make it up for the other day, yeah?" He tried to smile but it didn't really come across as much of a smile. More like a dominant show of teeth.

"Oh, you're ... you're here, too. I can pay for this, thanks tho---" You did your best to convince him to fuck off. But he wouldn't have any of it.

"Goddamn it, don't be an asshole. Let me buy you a coffee. C-consider this will be like a first step in our dating life, hm?" Fuck, he was hot. And he had at least one friend. Even if that friend was your best friend's boyfriend.

"Jesus, Bakugo. Fine! Fine. Pay for the damn coffee. Thanks. Thank you. Ok? You happy? I owe you now." You stepped back so he could pay. He put his hand on the curve of your waist as he moved passed you. It was fairly obvious what kind of effect it had on you. Your face turned a sweet shade of pink, your eyes blew out until they were almost all pupils. You just hoped he wouldn't see.

"You ok, y/n? You look like you're going to barf." He said.

"I'm not going to barf, you idiot. I just," you looked down the front of his body and left your eyes on his inseam.

"Y/n? you just ...?" He lifted your chin with his index finger, bent down a little and tilted his head to look into your eyes before your face was completely up.

"Huh? Wha-? Oh! I just need coffee. Just ... coffee. Can I get that to go, please? I gotta, I gotta go." You grabbed the coffee and stormed out.

"Hey! Y/n, whe- wait!" Bakugo called after you but you didn't stop. "The fuck. The actual fuck." He said to his friend.

They shrugged. "I've always thought she was a little odd." He laughed.

‧͙⁺˚*･༓☾‧͙⁺˚*･༓☾‧͙⁺˚*･༓☾

You called up your friend who gave him your cell number. Immediately going into your yelled speech as soon as they answered their phone.

"WHAT is wrong with you? You know, since you gave that dumbass my phone number he's been texting me and turning up everywhere I go! Did you give him my calendar too? 'Cuz I swear to fucking god, he was at the post office the other day. He stole my fucking parking spot. And then he was at the coffee shop just now. I swear to god he's everywhere now, {best friend's name}!! What have you done?"

"Who is this?" She laughed.

"Fuck, really?!" You yelled at her again. "I'm serious. He's everywhere. He's ... he's ..." You couldn't finish your thought.

"Hot as shit? You want his cock? You want his lips all over your body? You want his babiessss!? Oh my god! You want his babies!" She was in hysterics at the thought.

"You're the devil. You're really ... straight from hell. And I love you. But he's popping up in the places I frequent that I've never seen him at before."

There was silence on her end, until you heard voices in the background.

"Is {boyfriend's name} home?" You waited for her to answer you, hearing a third voice in the room. "Is Bakugo there? Jesus Christ. He's stealing you from me. I gotta go. I'll talk to you later." Enough was enough. Though you didn't know how friendly he had been with them in the past, you do know that Bakugo was becoming more and more a part of your life and the lives of your close friends.

Your cell rang. It was a number that you hadn't saved, but you suspected it was your new stalker.

"Hello, Bakugo?"

"Hi, pissy pants. Come over." You didn't love the nickname.

"Come over where? And no. I don't want to." You couldn't help but smile. You were really enjoying the attention he was giving you. Despite your best efforts to hate him, he was wearing you down.

"Come to your girlfriend's house. We're having an impromptu game night. Bring some shit to drink. See you in 30. And don't shower. You smell great as it is. See ya, sweetheart." And he hung up. Not even giving you a change to protest his garbage invitation to someone else's house.

"Don't shower? That's ... huh." You grabbed your keys and wallet and drove to the store to buy some shit to drink, as per his instruction.

‧͙⁺˚*･༓☾‧͙⁺˚*･༓☾‧͙⁺˚*･༓☾

You parked in your friend's driveway, essentially blocking Bakugo's motorcycle in between your car and their garage. You laughed at how pissed it would probably make him. A silent victory. 

A petty victory.

Walking in the front door, you saw Bakugo sitting on the couch. His legs spread, hands resting on his thighs. Just daring you to look at him. Anywhere.

"What's going on tonight?" You asked. "Asshat over here called me and told me to bring shit to drink and that it was an impromptu game night? Well, I'm here and I have the shit." Raising the bottles in your hand you showed them off to the 3 other people there.

They all cheered and came to you. Your friend and her boyfriend took the bottles and Bakugo gave you a hug. A lingering hug.

"Hi, pissy pants," he smiled devilishly at you and pressed his hips into yours and his nose into your neck.

It sends a pulse throughout your whole body. You slipped and your breath got caught in your throat. You hoped he wouldn't notice.

"Excited to see me, too? Good. I can't stop thinking about you." He said against your ear.

"I, uh ... yeah. What's up?" You patted him on the back and pushed him away, taking a deep breath when you were finally free of his grasp. "Who's ready for game night? Let's go!"

The next hour or so went by in a haze. The group of you laughing and drinking and playing some board game that was on the coffee table. You won a lot. Bakugo kept losing and it made you smile. He was a terrible loser to his core. There was no in between. At one point, he almost flipped the coffee table over. 

You were starting to get drunk. You knew it because that display of raw agitation at something so stupid made your stomach knot up. His shit coping was turning you on.

"I'll be right back." You stood and walked down the hallway to the bathroom. You walked in and turned the light on and shut the door behind you. You tried to shut it behind you but there was a foot in the way. "Jesus. Bakugo, what the fuck." You laughed.

He pushed his way in and locked the door behind him. "We're … talking."

"Now?" You asked. "I was just about to pee. You can wait." You started to walk back toward the door but he grabbed your waist and pushed you back against the sink.

"We're talking, y/n. So fucking listen."

"Ok, I'm listening. What do you want to talk about?" You smiled up at him, your lips slightly parted and your eyes set on his.

"You." He said. "You're driving me fucking insane, ya fuckin' brat. You're always walking around with those pretty tits and that fat ass, making me lose my goddamn mind. I can't stop thinking about you. Your lips, your pussy ... Fuck. I wanna taste you." His hands were all over you. Raking up and down your back, over your ass and thighs.

"Mmm, you think I have a fat ass?" You whispered. He nodded. "You're so silly, Bakugo. You think you can just say those things to me and I'll let you have me? You really think that?"

He nodded again. "I'm going to have you. And you're … gonna let me. That's how this is gonna go."

"Is it?" You laughed. "What if I say no?"

"Then I'm going to fuck you anyway. You want me to. I know it. I like games too, sometimes. I can play any ... little thing … you want. But, I'm just going to take what I want, y/n. And you're going to be begging me to keep going." He grabbed your tits and squeezed them until you moaned.

"I bet you'd love that." You exhaled.

"Fuck, I bet you would too." He pulled you in for a kiss. His tongue slipped into your mouth and you could feel your body getting hot. Your reaction to him was just about the most primal thing you'd ever experienced. You two were drawn to each other like magnets.

"Mmm ... mm-mm." You pushed him back and put your fingers to your lips. "What are we doing, Bakugo? This ... I don't know what you think this is ... but ... I just." You shook your head. "I need to pee. So ... shoo! Go on."

"You're so full of shit. Just admit you want me as much as I want you." He licked his lips and turned around, unlocking the door and walking out. "See you in a minute." He winked at you.

You locked the door behind him and went to the toilet. You looked at yourself in the mirror. "This can't be real. This can't be fucking real." You sat down and tried to compose yourself.

‧͙⁺˚*･༓☾‧͙⁺˚*･༓☾‧͙⁺˚*･༓☾

The next time you saw Bakugo was at the grocery store. You were getting some groceries for the week when you heard someone behind you clearing their throat.

It was him.

"Hi, pissy pants. Fancy seeing you here, of all places."

"Ohh-kayy. You don't even fucking live in this neighborhood! What the hell are you doing over here? Seriously, Bakugo." You looked around to make sure there were people who could hear you. "I don't love you! You need to stop following me, I WILL call the police, you freak!" You couldn't stay composed any longer and started to laugh.

"Oh, ha-ha. God you're an asshole." He eventually laughed, too. "Seriously, though. You won't text me back. Why?"

You shrugged, "I dunno. You're weird."

"What do you mean by that, y/n?"

"You're ... just ... I don't know." You shook your head. "I need to get back to my shopping."

He nodded. "Yeah, I get it. I'm not what you thought I'd be. Not really. But I'm not all bad, either, y/n."

"Hmm, I don't know. I think you're ... well, maybe I've misjudged you. It's not like I really know you. But, I don't know. I'm sorry for saying you're weird. You're not weird, necessarily. I don't know." You looked at him, curious about what he'd say next.

"It's ok. I'm used to people thinking I'm an asshole. It's just ... I like you. I wanna ... I don't know." He leaned over his cart and put his chin in the palms of his hands.

"Go out with me?"

"I thought you'd never ask, y/n! This is, oh my gosh. This is all so sudden! Yes! Yes, of course I'll go out with you!" He smirked. "Let me know when, y/n. See ya later, sweetheart." He took off in the opposite direction, knowing full well you were staring at his ass.

You bit your lip and watched him walk away. "Yup, still hot. Fuck."

‧͙⁺˚*･༓☾‧͙⁺˚*･༓☾‧͙⁺˚*･༓☾

It was the night of your friend's boyfriend's birthday party. Bakugo had been texting you for days, trying to figure out where you'd be and what you'd be doing. You told him you'd be there. So there you were. In a pretty red dress that hugged your curves. And matched his eyes.

"Well, hello." He said as you walked up to him. "Wow, you look so fucking sexy. I love this. I love this dress. I love ... it." He was trying to contain himself.

"Oh, this old thing?" You giggled and grabbed him by the hand, pulling him onto the dance floor. "Dance with me, Bakugo!"

"I'm not really much of a dancer."

"That's disappointing. They say that men who dance are 10x's more likely to make a woman climax in bed. Or on the couch. Or the shower. Anywhere. Guess I'll dance by myself." You shrugged and laughed at your bullshit fact and the effect it had on his face.

"Oh my God, you're going to be the death of me, y/n. Come on." He put his arm around your waist and you two danced for the rest of the night.

A slow song came on and he pulled you to him. He tucked your hand against his chest and he held you close by the small of your back with his right hand. “You having fun, y/n?” He asked, looking down the front of your dress.

“Not as much fun as you, apparently. I can feel that, by the way.” You smirked, gesturing down between the two of you with your eyes. “But yeah, I am, actually. Thank you for dancing with me. You’re surprisingly not that shit at it.” 

Bakugo lay his head down on your shoulder and softly kissed your neck. "Let's get out of here." He said, his lips touching your ear as he raised his head and whispered to you. "Let's go back to your place."

You nodded. "Yes. NOW." You grabbed his hand and walked out.

‧͙⁺˚*･༓☾‧͙⁺˚*･༓☾‧͙⁺˚*･༓☾

Once you got to your place, you ran upstairs and put on some music. Your favorite song came on and you danced around your room for a minute before Bakugo walked in, looking at you with the most heavy, lustful eyes you've ever seen.

He slowly walked over to you and put his hands on your waist, pulling you in for a kiss. It was sweet and soft. "Y/n. How hot you are."

You shook your head, "Me? Bakugo, you are ... you are ... so fucking hot. You make me feel so ... I don't know. Like ... like I have no control over myself. You just ... you do this thing to me. It's like my whole body catches fire and then melts and I just want to ... fuck, I want to fuck you."

"I think I can make that happen." He looked at you, waiting for you to make the next move.

You pulled him over to your bed and pushed him down on it. "I'm in charge. Got it? I'm in charge." You climbed on top of him, your hands pushing his shoulders back as you straddled his waist.

"No, no you're not. But nice try." He flipped you over and held your wrists above your head. "You're mine, y/n. You're all fucking mine. I'm going to make you feel good. I'm gonna make you cum so hard, you'll be screaming my name for days because you’ll be too damn stupid to remember anything else." He smiled and kissed your neck, his hand moving down your body to your panties.

You gasped and bucked your hips up, "Fuck, Bakugo. That feels so good." Your fingers were in his hair, pulling it at the roots.

He pushed your panties to the side and slipped two fingers inside your pussy. "Jesus. You're so fucking wet, y/n. Is this for me? This wet pussy is for me? Fuck." He pumped his fingers in and out of you, his thumb rubbing your clit in slow, tight circles.

Your back arched off the bed, "God, yes, Bakugo. Fuck! Oh my fucking god, th- ... Don't … Please don't fucking stop!" You screamed.

"You gonna cum for me, baby? Huh? You gonna cum all over my fingers? I know you are. But not yet." He pulled his fingers from you, licked them clean and kissed your lips.

You grabbed his face and kissed him back, tasting yourself on his tongue. "Bakugo, I want ... lemme suck your cock."

"Hohhh fuck." He moaned. "You will, sweetheart. You will. But not right now. Right now ..." he unbuckled his belt and unbuttoned his jeans, pushing them down around his knees. His cock was hard and throbbing.

"Oh, fuck, Bakugo." Your eyes were wide with wonder as you sat up on your elbows on the bed. The dress pooled around your waist and your panties sat haphazardly covering your cunt. None of that mattered. All you could see right now was his huge cock.

And it saw you, too.

"It's yours, y/n. It's all fucking yours. So fucking take it, you little brat." He pushed your legs apart and rubbed the tip of his cock against your clit. "Is this what you want? Huh? This big fucking cock inside of your little pussy? Is it?"

"Oh my god, Bakugo! I do, so bad." You whimpered.

"I know you do. That's why I'm going to give it to you." He pushed himself inside of you, slowly stretching you out until you were begging for more.

"More, Bakugo. Give me more. Fuck, fuck me! Oh my god!" You pulled him down on top of you, your hands clawing at his back.

"Fuck, y/n. You're so fucking tight, baby. You're so fucking wet and tight. God, this pussy is perfect. I'm going to fuck you every day, you got that?" He started to thrust faster, his hips slamming into yours with each stroke.

Your back arched up off the bed as he fucked you. You were on the edge, your orgasm building with every move he made. "Oh? Gettin' close? I guess all that dancing really paid off. I should slow the fuck down. Wouldn't want you cumming too fast now. Nnnope." He slowed to a barely discernible drag. Your eyes nearly went full white as they twisted to the back of your head.

"Ba-ku-go ... ple--- ... ya, please. You have ... to ... mmmm … oh my god." You whined as he looked at your contorting face.

"I know, baby. I know. I got you. I'll give you what you want, sweetheart. You're going to cum for me, ok?" He kissed your neck and started to speed up again, his thrusts getting deeper and deeper.

"Yes! Oh my god, don’t … don’t … hoh fuck!" You were on the edge of a cliff, ready to fall off at any moment.

He grabbed your tits, squeezing them and rolling your nipples between his fingers. "Fuck! You're so fucking sexy. I wanna taste those tits, baby." He bent down and sucked one of your nipples into his mouth, his tongue swirling around it as he kept fucking you.

Your hands were in his hair again, pulling and tugging as he fucked you harder and harder. Your body started to shake and your breath caught in your throat.

"I'm going to … cum, Bakugo! Fuck! Pleasepleaseplease!" You screamed as you came hard around his cock. "Oh my god! Fuck! Fuck, fuck, fuck! Bakugo!"

You rode out the twitching and shaking of your body as he continued to fuck you. Dragging out more moans from you than anyone had ever bothered to do before.

His slow pace came to an even more painful stop. He kissed your neck until you were writhing below him. Begging him to do something.

Anything.

Bakugo slid back until just his tip was inside of you. He looked down at where he disappeared into your body and pulled out the rest of the way. His eyes darted back up to yours and he watched you all the way until his lips were encircling your clit.

"Oh my god!" You cried out as he sucked and licked your clit, his tongue pushing in and out of your pussy. "Fuck! Bakugo!" You grabbed his hair and pulled it, the pain making him moan against you. He licked and sucked on you so sloppily that the room was filled with the sounds of wet lapping. It was loud and erotic and almost too much. But it was just enough. You were so close to cumming again that it hurt. Your body was tight. The wire bound within you was ready to snap if he hit you just right once more.

"Cum on my tongue, y/n. Cum for me, baby. Fuck, you taste so good." He said as he pushed two fingers into your pussy, pumping them in and out of you.

Your back arched and your toes curled as you came again. Your legs shaking and your hands gripping the sheets. Your hips bucked up against his face as he sucked and licked you through your orgasm.

Bakugo sat back on his knees, his cock still hard and glistening with your juices. He slowly pumped his cock as he looked down at you. "You're so fucking filthy. I could watch you cum for me all day long." He grabbed your legs and pulled you down to him so that your ass was right at the edge of the bed.

He pushed his cock into you again, this time with a sense of urgency and a need to cum himself. He fucked you hard and deep, his hips slamming into yours with every thrust. He was so close to cumming that you could see it in his face.

"Your - mngh - your face looks stupid when you're about to cum. Y'know that?" You tried to laugh but all you could do was moan at how good his cock filled you. How good it felt as it dragged inside of you.

He leaned down and kissed you, his tongue pushing into your mouth as he fucked you harder. "Oh god, y/n. You feel so fucking good. I'm going to cum in you, ok?" He moaned as he fucked you.

"Yes! Fucking cum in me ... hmm ..." You moaned as you wrapped your legs around his waist, pulling him deeper inside of you. "Fill me up, Bakugo. Fuck!" You screamed as you came again, your body shaking and your pussy tightening around him.

Bakugo pumped his hips a few more times before he came inside of you, his cum filling you up and spilling out onto the bed. "Oh, fuck! Y/n! Fuck!" He moaned as he kept fucking you through his orgasm.

He eventually stopped, his cock still inside of you as he collapsed on top of you, his face buried in your neck. "Oh my god, y/n. That was ... that was so fucking good." He kissed your neck and chest before he rolled over and lay next to you on the bed.

"And to think, what I said about men who dance was total bullshit."

"I knew it! I knew you were lying about that." Bakugo laughed. "You're a little shit, you know that?"

"Yeah, I know. But I got you to dance with me, though." You smiled.

"You did." He smiled back. "But you're the one in bed with me."

You looked over at him and he was flipping you off with both hands.

"Fuck you." He laughed.

Taglist ::: @millennialmagicalgirl @callm3senpaii @darkstarlight82 (just in case it decides to work, idk! If not I'll send it to you, too.)

[arduadastra]

Lost Faith - Part One

A/N ITS FINALLY HERE!! Thank you for the support and I can't believe I wrote this, if you want a part two let me know!

FINALLY updated to this gorgeous header by @sirtadcooper (who you definitely need to follow)

This is set right after the season two finale and is kind of what I imagine Din would be feeling right after he’s handed Grogu off and what it would be like to find him.

Also, the crest didn’t explode ok, I refuse to believe that.

- 2.1K - (what happened?!)

/// Din is alone. He’s been alone most of his adult life. Once he left the convent he’s captured quarries solo for years. He’s used to the quiet solace hyperspace provides, the occasional hums and beeps from the crest console and the sounds of starlight rushing past is nothing more than white noise at this point. So why does it feel different this time? He leans over and flips a switch. He likes quiet, he knows quiet. Talking has never been his strong suit - in fact, he actively avoids it if he can but there’s a tightness in his chest he’s trying to ignore and he needs a fucking distraction before he punches something. After he had handed... to the Jedi he doesn’t really remember much else. Bo Katan had said something about needing to discuss his future and the dark sabre but he hadn’t paid her much thought to be honest. He had felt numb and it just didn’t seem important at the time. He remembers looking at them all and how they looked back at him. He didn’t even really realise why they seemed to stare so much until he accidentally kicked the helmet at his feet. He hadn’t bothered to put it back on. What’s the point? He had barely managed to justify putting it back on after revealing himself for that imperial scanner. Every soul that saw his face after that had died, other than Mayfeld that is. Technically no living being had seen his face so his creed remained unbroken. But this time? Din caught himself staring and at a lever with a certain missing sphere on top. He looked away. His creed. The one thing he held above all else. The thing that he had engrained into him since he was a foundling and what made him who he is: a Mandalorian. Yet, he has met Mandalorian's and they did not cover their face. They had called him different. ’A child of the watch’ Bo-Katan had said - was he even Mandalorian then? The thought cast his eye to his helmet lying discarded next to him. He thought he’d feel bare without it and he did back with the IG unit but now he just feels angry. The creed he abided by is broken now, but that doesn’t piss him off nearly as much as the realisation that it might not have even fucking mattered in the first place. He huffs. No, that’s not it. It is but it isn’t. The pressure in his chest returns and he gasps. “Dank Farrik.” Din clenches his eyes shut against the pain, it’s not like any other pain he’s felt before and he has been hurt a lot. He feels a burning sensation behind his eyelids and he shakes his head, opening his eyes and setting his next coordinates before he can think too hard about why his vision is slightly blurred. ///

It was nearing the end of your shift and you took in the sparse patrons left around you. Bar work wasn’t really what you wanted to do with your life but it’s all you had. No siblings and dead parents made for one lonely existence so you needed the company your customers provided. Drunken patrons tend to have the best stories too. You’ve heard it all over the years: divorced from the wife, hiding from the boss, hiding from the police - those were the best kind. Usually, you could guess why each one was there and why but you were stumped by someone. You had noticed the lone Mandalorian in your bar a while ago. You wouldn’t take a second glance usually but what strikes you is the fact he hasn’t moved in twenty minutes and he’s just been sat staring blankly at his own helmet the whole time. The bar is quiet and you’re the only one working so who gives a shit if you’re polishing the same glass over and over, he’s interesting. You haven’t seen a Mandalorian before let alone one as stoic as him. You’d heard the stories, of course, battle-hardened warriors capable of bringing grown men to their knees in a matter of seconds… Now that's an image. You love people-watching, or thing watching this far out in the rim, and it isn’t often you see humans. Especially ones like him. He seems sad, but not in the obvious moping, crying, shoulder shaking sad - more like he’s grieving. He’s been sat staring at the helmet on the table for a while. His hands are balled into a fist in front of it and it’s like he’s looking through it to the wall behind. His dark eyes have barely blinked and his hair is tousled on his head. He’s tanned too and has the most striking lips you’ve ever seen on a guy. You cock your head as you look at him - he’s hot. You feel bad thinking that when the guy is clearly miserable but he’s gorgeous. You have a thing for stubble and you can’t help but think how it would feel against your skin. And strangely you hate to see him so sad. You have an idea so you turn around and start making your favourite drink while you check on him over your shoulder. After a while, pleased with what you’ve concocted you walk to his table and drop the drink in his line of sight. You smile at him. “On the house.” He doesn’t look up, doesn’t seem to even acknowledge you’ve spoken to him let alone standing two feet to his left. You clear your throat. “That means it's free." He looks up at that, seemingly broken out of whatever trance he was in yet his eyes still seem so far away. “I’m not thirsty.” You nod your head to the table. “Well if you want to keep sitting here, you need something in front of you.” The man looks back at the drink, bumping it with his right fist then stares back ahead. “Ok.” He’s a chatty one. You look back at your bar and around at the other tables, no one seems to need assistance and you’re sure as hell not about to go back to standing behind an empty bar so you take in the Mandalorian and decide to sit across from him. You sigh, “Well the least you can do is have a sip, I made it after all.” The Mandalorian meets your eyes silently then glances down at the drink by his hands. He seems to take a few seconds studying the contents before bringing it to his lips for a drink. You watch him, watch as he drinks from the glass and how it travels down his throat. You see the tendons stretch and his adam apple move as he does. God, how can this guy make drinking sexy? You chide yourself on the thought. This guy is clearly going through something and he doesn’t need some random woman objectifying him. He’s finished now and is actively avoiding your eye line as he looks around himself. He seems lost like he doesn’t know how to have company with him. You decide at that moment that you aren’t leaving this guy alone. “My name is y/n by the way. What’s yours?” Nothing. He’s still not looking at you. You try again. “How was the drink?” The guy must have some form of manners because he responds at that with a slight nod. “Good.” Not much but you’ll take it. You’ve gathered from this short conversation that

this guy isn’t much for small talk so you decide to cut straight to the point. “Who did you lose?” He seems surprised by that. He looks at you fully then and you’re startled by his eyes. The rest of him seems so closed off, so shuttered but his eyes are a dead give away. They swim with grief and pain and it takes your breath away. He doesn’t respond but he keeps looking at you so you take it as permission to keep going. “I know sadness when I see it. See it every day here,” you gesture around you, “but yours seems deeper than that.” He turns away from you and you notice his jaw tense slightly, subtle but you caught it. You’re on the right track at least. “Was it your wife...or husband?” “No.”

Very quick you notice, so not a partner then. “Your friend?” He’s still looking away. Not that then. You look at his face again, he seems older than you. “Your kid?” That gets a reaction. His jaw ticks and his hand's clench. You see his bicep flex at the action and your mind wanders again and just what he looks like under that armour. “Leave me alone." You continue, “What were they like?” He frowns, and looks back at you, “You’re very insistent.” You scoff, “And you barely talk but I don’t judge.” You take a pause then lean forward into his space, “I just know it's useless when people say ’sorry’ or ’that's terrible.’ You know that already. I always found talking about them is more helpful, means there’s someone else out there to remember them.” The Mandalorian doesn’t say anything for a long time. He studies your face, eyes scanning over yours before dropping to your hands that have instinctively reached out towards him. Your fingers are grazing ever so slightly and you think he likes the contact. He leans back slightly in his chair and casts his eyes over your shoulder. “He’s not dead.” You hum, “Ok…” You think, “ ...so he’s missing?” The Mandalorian seems frustrated and shakes his head "Not missing, I mean I don’t know where he is but I - “ He casts his gaze back to you, almost as if he didn’t realise he had been talking, “Why are you asking me this?” You shrug, “Dunno, you just seemed like you needed someone to talk to.” He keeps looking at you. You lean forward more and so does he. Your fingers bump more insistently and you struggle to not rest your hands over his. The energy between the two of you changes ever so slightly, and you feel your hair stand up on end as he stares you down. He’s very intimidating. You like that. Neither of you moves away and the silence between you stretches on. You refuse to speak first because you sort of want to see what his next move is. You get the impression no one stands up to this guy and you want to be the first. He narrows his eyes, his jaw tenses when he speaks coldly, “I don’t need to talk. Go away.” Undeterred you smile at him, flashing him your teeth when you say “Oh I disagree.” He scoffs at that and gets up, leaving the drink you made him and walks out the door. You stand to follow him, grabbing his helmet as you go - how did he forget that? "Hey, we were talking!” you call after him, pushing yourself through the few stragglers still around on the street. He keeps walking, ignoring your yells so you shout louder, “you didn't even finish my drink!" Still nothing, "and you forgot your bucket!" That makes him turn and he sees the helmet under your arm. You walk towards him as he crosses his arms and sighs. He reaches out his hand for it but you hold it out of reach, “ah ah ah, I said we weren’t finished.” He scoffs “I say we have. Give it back.” “Nope.” You say popping the ‘p’ and you smile at him, “Not till you tell me what’s wrong.” He stalks forward and attempts to take the helmet but you’re quicker and sidestep him and cross it over into your other hand, leaning it out of reach again. He growls at that, “I’ll just take it from you.” You dance backwards slightly, “Oh I don’t think you will.” He remains where he is and scowls, “Don’t you have work to finish?” You shake your head, “Nah it's quiet and they’ll all leave now I’m gone. Besides, this is much more fun.” He’s getting annoyed now and gestures towards you, “What? Standing there holding my helmet hostage knowing full well I can just come over there and take it?” He walks forward again, anger now very present on his face - you love that you’ve rattled him. You know it must take a lot to get this guy mad but it seems you’ve done it rather easily. You grin at him, “You’ll have to catch me first.” And with that, you turn and run. ///

If you want to be tagged for part 2 let me know!

Tagged: @darlingotaku @theoriquewitherseld @v-mack @soul-of-daisies @bbwithaknife @luciamajer @altarsw @redredchangesintheskys @thatoneidiot16 @24-blackbirds @dindjarin-mandalorian @engineeredfiction

[atsukashii]

➛ FINDING MINETA MESSING WITH THEIR S/O 

CHARACTERS: katsuki + shoto + izuku + hitoshi +

REQUEST:  » Anonymous said: hiii 💕💕 i haven’t seen this before but could you maybe write bakugou, todoroki, midoriya and shinso reacting to mineta messing with their s/o :) thank youuu

➛ Ever since you had started dating Bakugou, Mineta had mostly stopped any comments about you, fearing the explosive blonde would kill him. And there have been many times where Katsuki almost has, and this was definitely one of those times

All of your class is at the pool, enjoying taking a breather from hero work and just relaxing. It’s towards the end of your school term, and you’ve got a week to study before your final exams, but with the crazy year, you all managed to convince Mr. Aizawa to give you all permission to use the pool to relax

The girls had convinced you to wear a bikini, one that you knew would get a reaction out of your boyfriend, and it did. He had two immediate reactions. The first was he blushed… a lot… then the second he tried to shove his shirt over your shoulders, trying to hide you from people. He got over that mighty quick when you and Kirishima began comparing the sizes of your biceps. He could deal with this and behave himself for ones

The boys are sitting around the pool chatting as you girls all play volleyball in the water. Someone mentions a race but you aren’t paying attention to their conversation. The second you had tried to drool over your topless boyfriend, you had received a volleyball to the face. Lesson learnt. Play now, stare at Katsuki later.

You’re all having fun until your two friends Kirishima and Kaminari bomb dive next yo you right as you go to hit the ball. A massive wave pushes you under for a second and you feel a snap. Holy fuck your top just broke. In the current created, you feel it move from your body and you squawk loudly. Mina and the other girls notice immediately and dive towards you, creating a barrier. Tsu immediately goes under, trying to locate the lost item of clothing

The boys turn around quickly hands over there eyes to give you privacy and from the sudden bark from your very pissed off boyfriend, who notices your panic and mortification and dives in to the pool immediately with his t-shirt in hand. Once he reaches you, he helps you put it over your head - grateful that Bakugou has a thing for black clothing.

 “Where the fuck is your top?”

“I don’t know!!!” You’re almost in tears until there’s a loud “DUDE WTF!?” and your eyes follow Kaminari’s gaze until they land on Mineta on the other side of the pool. Your blue bikini top in his hand and a blissfully disgusting smile on his face.

Katsuki doesn’t even hesitate. “I’m going to blast your ass to hell you fucking extra!” he shouts jumping out of the pool and using his quirk to propel him forwards. 

and that was the day that you almost witnessed your boyfriend commit murder.

➛ Shoto may just be the deadliest out of them all... and hear me out. No one really questioned it when you began to wear baggier clothes around the dorms.  It wasn’t as if you wore tight clothes before, but now, all your clothes dwarfed your figure. A figure that a little purple asshole liked to talk about too much.

It had started after you had been on your way to class. You were walking in to your classroom when you heard Mineta’s voice. “I mean, Mina is maybe a seven, but y/n’s an absolute ten. She’s got perky tits and a great ass. Easy ten.” You had never felt more objectified in your entire life then at that point of time.

From that point on, you couldn’t get it out of your head. You became somewhat paranoid when you were around Mineta, which then changed to a lot of people. Were they looking at you? Were your boobs really perky… you thought they were too small… surely everyone thinks that too… right??

It became almost a vicious cycle of paranoia that then led to you wearing baggy clothes. If they couldn’t see your figure, they would’t care. Logic… right?

Your boyfriend however noticed the second you had decided to wear one of his shirts down to the common room. He didn’t mind, thinking you look much better in his clothes then he does, but he knows that somethings up.

Shouto knows you and knows to give you some space to sort it out on your own, knowing about your insecurities already, so he lets it go. But then that day becomes a week, and one week becomes two, and suddenly he can’t stand it. You look terrified all the time, you’re jumpy and he’s heard you crying in your room on multiple occasions.

You’re sitting at your desk, dwarfed in one of Shouto’s sweaters and some sweatpants when he comes in, leaning down over a textbook. You hear him come in, and turn so fast you almost fall off your chair in surprise from the sudden entrance. Once you notice it's him, you relax slightly.

“Hey, what’s up?” You try to say lightly, but he’s not buying it. Shouto walks over to you and squats down in front of your chair.

“What’s going on Y/n?” that’s all it takes before you break down. Your sobbing into your hands and your boyfriend pulls you close to your chest before brushing your head softly. He listens to you explain what happened, where your head is at, and just what you have been feeling. When you’re done, he tilts your head to look up at him and he gently kisses your forehead.

“Please tell me the next time he does this Y/n. No man or woman deserves to be objectified like that. Especially you. You are one of the most incredible and intelligent people I know.” You promise to tell him next time, and you leave it at that

The next day, you feel confident enough by Shouto’s words to wear your regular clothes, but you’re keeping the ones of his you stole because hello, they’re comfy as heck.

You walk into the classroom to see Mineta frozen to his chair, and no one is surprised by that. Shouto just shrugs when you look at him. 

➛ Mineta messing with the girls in your class was nothing new, and normally everyone (especially the guys) was really good at stopping him from taking it too far. and not going to lie here, dating Izuku had stopped him from messing with you a fair amount because although your boyfriend was happy and smiling a lot of the time,  he was a weapon when pissed off, and nothing made him more fucking mad then you being messed with as he had been bullied as a kid - and just because he had fucking manners. 

so one day, Mineta goes there and oh boy. Izuku’s not there when it happens thank god because you would have been a witness to murder if he had

you’re in the common room, sitting with Ochako and Tenya attempting to study. You and Ochako happily took the offer to get tutoring from your friend because he was really damn smart and you guys weren’t dumb, just not as smart as he was. You are sitting on the floor still in your school uniform when Ochako asks a question, so you get on your knees and reach across the table pointing something out to her, the one thing Iida explained that you actually get.

You think you hear something, but brush it off until there’s a familiar mumble that has chills -and not the good kind- going up your spine. Instinctively, you pull your skirt further down over your ass just in case but it’s too late. You turn around and see Mineta, standing there with his phone, a blissful smile on his mouth and drool almost coming out of his mouth. 

You stare at him, flushed with embarrassment and mortification before the other two with you catch on.

“Mineta...did you just” Ochako frowns before shaking her head, steam practically coming out of her ears.

“Mineta! That is absolutely not appropriate and a major invasion of privacy. I ask that you delete it right now, or I will have to go to Mr. Aizawa.” Iida says, standing from his spot before the little purple-headed asshole clutches his phone to his chest.

“Not a chance, this is a money shot!” His words make you want to puke. You’re so mad and embarrassed that it makes you almost begin to cry with frustration. You go to open your mouth when your boyfriend walks through the doorway, dressed in workout gear, and you know that he had been training with All Might again. 

“Hey guys,” Izuku says smiling before he sees your face and the tense room. His eyes study you for a second before looking at Mineta. “What happened?” Mineta clutches his phone tighter to his chest and utters out something intangible before trying to make a break for the stairs. You have tears in your eyes and that’s Izuku’s last straw. Green lightning zaps to life on his body and using his quirk, he propels himself forward in front of Mineta and grabs the phone from him. He sees the picture on the screen and there’s a quiet crack. He glares at Mineta, something that looks so dangerous it gives you chills again and the phone crumples in his hand. 

“If you take a picture like that again without someone’s permission, I’ll make this look like nothing.” he threatens, and you gulp as he hands Mineta back his now broken phone, and the boy sprints from the room. Walking back to you, Izuku pulls you into him and places a kiss on your head. And instantly you feel better

“I’m so sorry he did that y/n, I’ll make sure he doesn’t do it again.” And Mineta never does. 

➛ Normally, you would spend your lunches in the cafeteria with your boyfriend Hitoshi, talking about anything and everything, but today, you can’t seem to bring yourself to walk through the doors

Not even twenty minutes ago, you had been in class training when you were thrown by your sparing partner - accidentally - into the wall where you had landed on a certain purple haired creep. Normally you were pretty good at ignoring his comments about your body, but if was one thing to talk about them, and another to physically grab them. Because that was what Mineta had done to you when you had the misfortune of landing on him. 

You were speechless, and utterly ashamed of what had happened. He had freaked you out so much you felt yourself retreating back inside your head as the day went on. You hated it, but couldn’t help it.

You felt so violated... someone had touched you inappropriately, and someone that wasn’t even your boyfriend... oh my god shinsou... Oh my god does that classify as cheating?

You quickly run from the door of the cafeteria, unable to face your boyfriend. Unknownst to you at the time, your said boyfriend was watching you from inside the crowded room, and quickly excused himself when he saw your hurrried escape. He finds you outside, sitting under the shade of a tree, your knees to your chest and your head in the crook of your elbow. 

“y/n?” you look up at his voice, and just burst into tears. You can’t seem to stop them as he sits down next to you and pulls you onto his lap, holding your head into his neck. “Hey, it’s okay. Tell me whats wrong.” and you do. You tell him about everything that had happened today, and you felt the rage settle into him. His muscles tensed beneath you, and his breathing became sharp.

“He touched you?!” He  pulls back enough to look back at you. You had stopped crying, and were just resting limply against him. 

“Yeah, it kind of freaked me out...” you whisper, and he lets out a choked noise.

“Of course it did! It’s so wrong y/n!” So he had just sat there the entire lunch with you, not caring for his food, holding you close and telling you anything that came to his mind to make you feel better. And it worked. By the time you had returned to class (where Shinsou had walked you to the door) you felt somewhat ready to face the world again.

It however wasn’t until the next day that everyone discovers the repercussions of messing with you. You and your classmates where on their way to class when you hear a loud wailing, and you find Aizawa standing at the bottom of light post, where... mineta, of all people, is handing by his undies. He’s crying out in pain, tears in his eyes, and you all just stand there shocked. He obviously used his quirk to get himself up there, and you cant help but feel some sort of gratification at the sight. 

©️ 2021 all rights reserved to atsukashii, do not change, edit, translate, or repost any works on any platform.

[betelguwuse]

I’m starting to think maybe I don’t want to get married. Hypothetically I’d love to be in a godly marriage with a man who respects me and sees me as the person that God does (and not only me but women as a whole), but realistically do christian men like that even exist? Mainstream christianity, especially gender discourse, is so watered down and twisted into something that’s more political than biblical. I feel like this is gonna piss off both the christians and feminists, even though I’m both (though some might say I’m not a real feminist, whatever idc lol). Might also tag as Side B because I feel like this is also maybe a Side B mood? But here goes.

Color coded by vague topic, bolded so it’s easier to read.

Like I recently heard of a pastor being criticized for saying it’s a woman’s duty to look good for her husband, and the boomer conservatives were acting like criticisms of this pastor was the end of christianity. There’s no way “looking good” in a biblical sense was anything more than basic hygiene, nowhere near the beauty standards of today; and that is if the idea of looking good for your husband is even in the bible. These people siding with the pastor were saying that any woman who doesn’t shave or hide her “flaws” with makeup or basically completely embody the tradwife meme are bad wives. Like what the literal hell.

Honestly the entire tradwife aesthetic seems to be the goal for a lot of young christian couples, when it’s not inherently biblical. I used to be into it myself because heck yeah staying home, housekeeping, taking care of children, and wearing cute flowery dresses sounds like a dream. But my goals aren’t universal! Some women don’t want kids. Some women want to work. Good and God-honoring women of the bible didn’t all have kids and stay home. I mean the timeline of the bible spans so long, so yeah maybe there were times when most women did. But that doesn’t mean women who didn’t were bad wives or lesser women. Not to mention there’s such a blurred line currently between cute tradwife lifestyle and creeps who fetishize the idea of a traditional (and by traditional they mean submissive) wife. Gross.

Another thing too many christian men do is say women can’t be in any position of power in the church. There is the whole specific issue of whether or not women should be the highest up actual pastor of the church, and I don’t know enough about that whole debate to validate or debunk it, but I’m not talking about that specifically here. Aside from that one position, a lot of christians think women can only teach other women and girls but not guys, even like literal child boys. That’s so weird, like imagine thinking a little boy has more authority than, or even equal to, a grown woman? Couldn’t be me. And this whole idea comes from an out of context “I do not permit women to speak in the church” from a regular human guy. And the reason he said this was that the women around him were spreading heresy. I still think it’s flawed logic to exclude all women from speaking in that situation just because most of them were wrong, but again, this wasn’t a command from God. This was just a guy recording his church experience and doing his flawed human best to manage it. Various women throughout the actual bible outside of this one leader’s timeline held positions of power in various churches. And modern day american christian men think biblical womanhood is all about subservience? Bro what bible are you reading?

I just want to make it clear that these are all just generalizations, but having been in various actual biblical communities and conservative christian communities, I can kinda pick up on the general sexist behaviors of the latter. But unfortunately in today’s political climate more and more young christians are only being exposed to political opinions that are surface level americanized good christian morals, but not actually biblical.

Even on top of that, even if a man knows of these biblical misconceptions, we live in a society. Like we’re constantly exposed to women’s sexualization, and it’s pretty impossible to escape that. I don’t want to spend my life with someone who’s grown up in a world where women are seen as weak, objects, pleasure machines, etc. And yeah we can unlearn these biases (honestly I hate the word unlearn but I can’t think of a substitute rn), but it feels like a hassle to casually figure out whether a guy can make an effort to understand what women go through, and if I were to just bring it up I’d scare them away. And that’s not to say I’m some perfect person who’s never sexualized men, we are all sinners after all and we live in a fallen world etc etc. But a whole society where women are so objectified that it’s normal for little boys to be watching porn, that just doesn’t really happen with little girls. I can’t speak for all women, but when I started seeing men sexually it was in my late teens when I realized like ‘oh I can sexualize men too? wild. ok I’m an adult lemme check it out’. Still sinful, but not ingrained in me from porn ads as a kid the way most young boys have been since like the creation of the internet.

Even the men currently in my life who genuinely want what’s best for me are so incredibly misogynistic it’s baffling. My male family members see any woman who breaks an imaginary dress code or ideology is some kind of deviant. I just want to make it clear that this is MY family and I’M the only one who gets to complain about them. We all love each other here even if the males are horribly wrong.

So I shaved my head for halloween and my dad could barely look at me, not because he was exactly mad or anything but just because I looked ugly to him. He always says ‘close the windows in your apartment because men will spy on you changing’ but after my hair was gone he was all ‘actually don’t bother because nobody will look at you looking like that’ like wow I wasn’t aware men only sexualized women for their hair. Like you really think a gross creeper is gonna be turned off by a fully naked oblivious vulnerable woman just because she’s bald? That’s not how any of this works. And just today my sister was watching a goth youtuber egirl or something, I didn’t see her makeup but my dad said stuff like ‘ew why does she look like that, maybe it’d be cool as a costume but how is she going to get a job’. Like, I’m not one to go ‘women don’t wear makeup for men’ (because most women who only use makeup to hide their insecurities and follow beauty standards very much just do it so they don’t get backlash from others, if not directly to please men), but when it’s a fun crazy look that’s not meant to be pretty, I’m all for that shit and generally I hate when men lose respect for a woman just for wearing something they don’t like. Like fashion isn’t real and your appearance should be as costumey or weird as you want without people losing respect for you. Also like...do men know that makeup isn’t permanent?? Like if she wanted a job that required no makeup she could easily wipe her face off and get one?? Not only that, but people can work from home and/or be self employed. Maybe youtube itself was this girl’s job. Who the hell cares man. And the worst thing here is my brother outright said one time “the root cause of feminism is pride”. B r u h. And this was back when I considered myself an anti-feminist, even then I knew that feminism started for good reason and I was absolutely furious. I think I kept it to myself like a coward lol, but if anyone said that to me now I’d tear them apart. In a debate I mean, not like literal violence.

Tldr: I’m not trying to say men are inherently more evil because there’s evil in everyone, but the way it takes shape in men in most societies is so insidious and inescapable. I love my family and guy friends, but I don’t want to deal with one in a romantic/sexual relationship because I don’t know if even the most educated and goodest christian boi in this world can see me as a true equal. It sucks because I want sex and children, but when the mainstream idea of hetero sex is female submission, it just makes me shrivel up and contemplate becoming a nun. I’m not even catholic. But even nuns are sexualized and degraded in coomer’s disgusting brains. In conclusion I’m going feral and starting my own woman-only church in the woods let’s go ladies.

[thelovelyghostwriter]

KuraNeon Short Fic

Okay, this is one of my longer tumblr short fics, it’s 1000+ words. 

Rated M because of lemon. Pairing: Kurapika/Neon

This is not the full length of the fic, the full version will be completed and posted on AO3 when I have the time. 

Before anyone starts complaining about their age, Kurapika and Neon are born in the same year. In the current arc, Kurapika is technically 19 years old. I have had people complain about Neon being underaged (people deadass think she’s 12 to 16 tf), but then they go ahead and sexualise Kurapika because “he is an adult because he’s 19”. You can check it here. 

Anyway, it’s fiction. Don’t take it seriously. I will just block anyone who tries to start a drama over drawings and fanfics.   

Warning: sexual content, hate-sex, angry sex, angst, mentions of daddy issues

Here we go: 

Kurapika wanted to stop this... Whatever they were doing. Yet his reasoning flies out of the window whenever he sees Neon in a flattering night attire.

Here he was, shirtless, with the woman sitting on his lap. Her spaghetti-strapped blouse was pushed down, her breasts exposed to him.

"I told you not to tempt me," he said. He licked her nipple and bit it lightly. Neon let out a small groan.

Kurapika had attempted to tell her that this dirty affair they had was inappropriate and unbecoming of them. Yet, for the past week, Neon had been giving him subtle flirtations and wearing clothes that showed off her skin (as compared to the baggy ones she normally wears).

The last straw was her talking about his Scarlet Eyes... while fondling the chains on his hand.

No.

That had to stop. For one, she was teasing him. Secondly, she recently found out about his Kurta identity - she was pissing him off on purpose to get "punished".

That woman should know her place, objectifying his clan's eyes like that.

He placed small kisses on her neck, then back again to her breasts. She shivered - it felt good.

"Are you happy now? You spoiled girl," he muttered against her breath sternly. She yelped when he slapped her ass.

Huh? That's weird.

His hands got underneath her skirt. Fuck. This girl wasn't even wearing a pair of underwear. She really wanted to get hate-fucked. By him. Again.

His fingers found her sex, all dripping in her arousal for him.

"So good," she mewled. She quivered under his touch.

Of course, she was satisfied, but never happy. There was a difference.

He inserted another finger.

Neon had always been like him - an empty vessel. Perhaps, even lonelier than him.

"M-more!" she moaned, demanding to be satisfied.

"Always wanting to be pampered," he huffed. What a greedy girl.

A father who exploited her fortune-telling, for fame and power; in exchange, he'd buy her all the things she wanted. The endless indulgence of material goods that she filled her heart with, yet it can never be full.

Ever since the Lovely Ghostwriter was stolen from her, the one thing that made her useful to her father... It was gone.

"You can never be satisfied, Neon," he said.

"Yet, you still do this with me," she countered, playing with his blond hair. She gripped Kurapika's hair and looked at his now-reddened eyes. Those eyes were beautiful... that held so much wrath and danger.

She had loved them when they were on a set of casing...but to see them on a deranged man when he takes her... it was... strangely exciting.

Kurapika said nothing, only kissing her in response.

Shut the hell up - he thought. He didn't like when she played mind games while they were doing this.

The kiss tasted sweet - so much turmoil in him, that he wished that a kiss could wash it all away. Wash away all his painful memories.

She snaked her hand into his pants. He hissed at the contact. Fuck. He needed this.

She giggled at his reaction, seemingly pleased, but her eyes said otherwise. Her father no longer paid attention to her, and it was obvious that she was trying to replace this by letting her head bodyguard (who was the same age as her) fill her.

She inserted his penis into her, squealing. God, Kurapika disliked her high-pitched voice whenever she complained. Yet, the noise that she makes during sex was what rubbed his ego - pleading, squealing, mewling, moaning as he rammed into her.

He halted for a moment, to lay her back against the bed. Then slammed himself again. Neon screamed, then covered her mouth alarmingly. He was enraged, she could tell. She really got onto his nerves, with her callous comment.

That disgusting hobby of hers. Collecting dead body parts that reflected her lack of sympathy towards the dead. Again, to fill that empty husk of her beautiful body. To treat people like objects because people see her as a predictive tool. A mere object.

She was her father's cash cow, the mafioso's crystal ball, another name in Chrollo's book and now, Kurapika's personal sex doll.

He removed her mouth. He wanted to hear her. She bit her lip, attempting to be quiet as possible.

He knew this. He wrapped her arms around her lower back, giving a new angle to ride her further. She yelped, in both surprise and ecstasy.

"Slow... Down..." she pleaded, her fingernails digged his shoulders. He said nothing.

"Papa... Papa might - ah!- hear us," she reasoned to him.

But he did not listen.

"I think - ah fuck!- he already... He knows," he said.

It was an open secret around the Nostrade mansion. It was not far-fetched for the young pair, who were equally lonely, to get caught into some odd agreement. She did expect her father to have some sort of reaction, though?

Neon's eyes watered slightly. Whether it was due to her being upset with her father's nonchalance, or Kurapika's roughness - Kurapika was unsure.

Kurapika did help Light recover from their financial slump by redirecting their mafioso business into something else. Perhaps it was some sort of sick reward Kurapika has earned when he chose to help them.

He brushed away the mascara-stained tears from her face. "Stop crying," he commanded, and gave a deep thrust that caused her to yell.

He did know she was going through a tough issue. But it can never be compared to him, his loss. The eyes of his clan gouged out just for people like her to enjoy them as displays. He should be the one crying, but there were no more tears left for him to shed.

He then remembered her hobby - why he was here in the first place. He began to incorporate his resentful energy into the form of pulsating desire, pounding into her mercilessly.

"Give it to me..." she begged, holding him tightly while her toes curled.

Her whole body started to shake.

So close...

Just a little more...

Then he stopped.

Neon immediately glared at him. It was one of his punishments again. To give her all the pleasures into a peak then abruptly crashing it into such a non-climatic disaster.

He laid on her side, brushing her messy hair off her face. They were both sticky, perspiring from their intimacy.

"Don't cry," he comforted and kissed her forehead.

Or I will give you something real to cry about, flesh collector.

She nodded. "Good girl," he said. He stood up.

He gripped her thighs, dragging her until her lower body was out of the bed. "Turn around," he commanded, and she obeyed him.

"Wait..." she protested, looking back slightly, "I want to see your eyes while you-" He gripped her hair. The audacity of this girl to still treat his eyes like a commodity... but in her eyes, he is the same. Another man in her life that sees her as an instrument.

"No. Not tonight, Neon. Look in front," he instructed.

If I catch you looking back, you're going to get it - he thought while he inserted his dick inside her again.

"I- ah!" she heaved, "I - hah - hate you..."

She managed to blurt out. He frowned. He didn't like that, be it she truly meant it or it was out of not getting what she wanted.

Because he couldn't resent her. He disliked her attitude, sheltered personality, her hobby... and worst of all, how she makes him desire her.

But it was never hatred. That was a feeling meant for the Phantom Troupe. She wasn't special enough for that.

He found her clitoris and rubbed it, all swollen and wet from arousal.

He noticed how she opened her legs slightly further to give him better access. Such hatred, huh.

"Yet... You're here," he replied. All he got was a repetition of her breathless curses and whimpers.

“Just… mmph! Turn me around…” she mumbled in the midst of the coitus. 

“No-”

“P-please?”

No response. He only did her harder. 

“I’ll… do anything,” she said. She looked back, rebelling against his rule. She kissed him before he could scold her. Neon stared at the glowing eyes, completely bewitched by them. 

“Anything?” he questioned, and he withdrew himself out of her. 

“Yes, daddy, anything-” 

She pouted for an added-effect. She knew that was one of his weaknesses. Kurapika sighed. 

“Okay-”

It was going to be a long night: he wasn’t done with her yet.  

[A/N: I did not proofread this, so pardon the grammatical errors]

[dragonstoravens]

Babylon Vol. 1: Bad Behavior, A Dancer in her Own Right

[ID: a blue patterned banner with text reading “BABYLON.” End ID.]

(Two chapters today, but this one’s a bit of a shorter update anyway. Believe it or not, we’re getting towards the end of volume 1 now!! It’ll be all posted by the end of December, and then in the new year at some point we’ll start posting 2. We’re also looking into Wattpad, and maybe even making an audiobook, so keep an eye out for those updates. Enjoy the chapters!)

Taglist (ask to be added or removed!): @charlottedotexe @glitterandstarshine @rainbowcoloreddays @the-starlight-chills @erased-in-stone

General: @elywritesbydarkness @residentofthedisc @humour-and-hyperfocus @skyfirewrites @viawrites-andacts

17. Bad Behavior

    A tap on her shoulder alerted Azure to someone just behind her. She turned, smile plastered to her face. The woman was about her age, grinning conspiratorially. That was never good, in her book. Grinning usually meant there was a plan for the conversation, and conspiratorially meant she’d have to actually participate. She washed away her distaste for the idea with some champagne before speaking.

    “Hello, I don’t believe we’ve met.”

    “Oh no, we haven’t. Samantha Whitewater, my family owns the Whitewater mining firm.” The introduction was followed by a small bow, which Azure returned. A colony family, then. Whitewater continued. “I just wanted to congratulate you.”

    Congratulate her? She hadn’t done anything of note to these people. She never made deals and she talked about herself as little as possible, trying to create a black box of a history no one would question. There was nothing to congratulate, and even less for a stranger to bring up out of nowhere. She touched the comm.

    Hey Hotshot, you remember anyone from the Whitewater family?

    I think I got a proposal from them once, he responded. More business than pleasure, though I think they wanted a marriage too. At least they didn’t keep pushing when I denied both.

    That was all she needed. At least Samantha and her family had manners. Her smile relaxed to something more genuine. She didn’t know what she was about to be congratulated for, but at least it wouldn’t be underhanded. “I’m afraid I don’t know what you mean, things have been awful slow for me lately.” 

    “Oh, nothing like that. I’m just congratulating you on making such a good match. No one else here could say the same, though of course the Jericho name is something of a hot-ticket item to many of us. My own family included, I have to admit.” She laughed like it was some kind of joke between friends, and Azure’s blood pressure rose. Trinity, seeming to just take notice of the conversation as Azzy’s burgeoning anger began to make itself known through their mental link, began to turn, a crease in his brow the only sign of confusion showing through the ice-sculpture poise he wore around these events like armor.

    She blinked to cover for the twitch in her eye, tucking her hands behind her back to cover the sparking. She ignored the vague warning of Azzy, no, that buzzed in the back of her head from Trinity, bulldozing on. “I wasn’t aware he was on sale in the first place.” Her words came out clipped, stilted, and poisonously sweet. Speaking of her friend as though he was an item made her stomach churn, even in retaliation. These events often weren’t terrible until something like this came up, the word choice surrounding people objectifying and economic in the worst manner. But never once had someone brazenly spoken about Trinity to her face before, like it was normal or expected. That was her friend Whitewater was talking about, the one who’d taught her about shrimp forks and helped her reach high shelves in her lab and made poorly edited images of frogs telling bad jokes for her when she was sad. She seethed. “I suppose that would explain why you caught me off guard then.”

    The woman blinked. “I’m sorry, I don’t know what it’s like where you come from--” the incredibly rude phrasing was somehow undercut by the fact that she still didn’t seem to think she was insulting anyone at all-- “but clearly you’re not used to this kind of society. We’re all a commodity here. The best he or anyone should hope for is to find someone equally as useful to him as he is to them, and maybe someone he can get along with-- though with someone as Icy as Jericho I never held out too much hope for that. That could have been me, but I guess it’s you.”

    Azure opened her mouth to speak, but Trinity’s hand on her back stopped her just long enough for her to hear him out. Azure. She’s right. Drop it.

     Azure shot back a response with a dangerous growl entering her mental voice, indignant and angry and protective. I don’t recall askin’ how anyone else here felt about it but me, so you drop it. She cleared her throat, her tone once more painted over with a thin veneer of polite but apparent disdain. “It is me, thank you very much Miss Whitewater. I wish you the very best of luck in finding someone merely useful to you.” If it wasn’t going to get her kicked out, she’d have spat at the woman’s feet like she used to when people bullied Crim in elementary school. Instead, she grinned conspiratorially with entirely too many of her teeth. “Because as we both know, that’s simply the most one can hope for in this wonderful little bubble.”

    “Like you’ve done any better.” Whitewater finally seemed perturbed, angry that something was disrupting her sterile worldview. Her lip curled slightly. “That man touches you like he’d rather be doing anything else. Two inches away from anything that could be considered a little risque, even while dancing? At least someone like me would’ve known what I was getting into, with someone like him.” 

    Trinity saw Azzy draw in a breath, and knew whatever she was about to say would be even worse. So before it could leave her mouth. Trinity had turned fully to face the two of them, and in an instant his arm was wrapped firmly around her waist. His hand rested squarely on her hip-- right on the strip of skin her dress’ cutout bodice left exposed to the air. His fingers dug into her flesh just slightly. Not hard enough to even leave prints on the skin, but just enough to send a message. Azzy relaxed in posture only, looking for all the world like a guard dog that had just been told to sit as she looked up at him sidelong. “I’m sorry, Miss Whitewater, but my date and I have business elsewhere. Will this be all?”

    “Of course. Enjoy your evening, Jericho. Garza.” Whitewater’s voice was stilted. Trinity turned Azzy around and used his arm around her to begin to shepard her away-- he wasn’t sure she was prepared to actually leave this alone, left to her own devices. They made it about ten feet before Azure looked back over her shoulder, sliding her arm around his waist as well and winking back at Whitewater, Garza’s supposed devious intention with Trinity on display. Internally, there was a small blip of take that, asshole, and then a self satisfied calm. Trinity sighed. He hated to play into whatever that was, but unfortunately a deserted hallway was likely the only place he was going to be able to talk to Azzy alone. He tugged her away into a winding passage off to the side of the main ballroom, gritting his teeth as he imagined the scandalized stare that Whitewater woman was probably still sending after them. He couldn’t deny that it was… amusing, to an extent. But he liked to avoid attention he wasn’t looking for at this kind of thing, and the last thing he needed was a jilted business-lover spreading around the fact that he’d pulled his date into a secret corner in the middle of an event. What was done was done, though, and he had to admit he hoped Whitewater felt sufficiently humiliated by the end of all that. Whatever it was.

    Finally satisfied they were alone, he let go of Azzy-- careful not to let his hands linger a second longer than they had to-- and sighed, leaning against the wall with a slightly bemused smile. “What was that about? And why did it seem to have everything and nothing to do with me?”

    Azure blew a stray curl from her face, absently rubbing her hip where he’d touched her with her opposite arm. The consequences of her actions appeared to be finally setting in, and her face was apologetic in that same way it was when she realized she’d started eating in massive bites at dinner instead of polite and small ones yet again. She looked almost bashful as she looked up at him. “Sorry Hotshot, I just...I don’t know, she started talkin’ about you like you were a thing instead of a person. I’m used to ‘em talkin’ about how hot you are, and that’s fine because it’s true at least, but no one’s ever said anythin’ like that about you right to my face before, it pissed me off.” She finally let her own hip go, shaking her hands to rid them of sparks and avoiding his eyes to avoid letting it be known just how honest she was about to be. “It’s rude, and it’s dehumanizin’, and I just believe real strongly that you deserve better than that.”

    Trinity almost denied it, wanting to cite times he certainly had not deserved better, but the last thing he wanted was to open up that can of worms. The wound of his profiteering off that war-torn planet was still too fresh, his apology still somewhat inadequate. Instead, he just shook his head. “I know what you think, but whether that’s truly how I am or not, it’s how I’ve presented myself for years to these people. Besides, she practically called you a bumpkin to your face too, and I’m not sure you even noticed.” He felt something soften slightly inside him as he looked at his friend. She’d been defending him. God strike him down if he knew why. God would probably strike him down regardless.

    She waved a hand, looking unaffected. “Who gives a shit about me? I am a bumpkin for all these people should care. But you’re…” she struggled, squinting her eyes and scrunching her freckled nose as the machinery of her mind ground its way to some kind of an end to her sentence that was eloquent. It failed. Instead, she came out with: “You’re cooler’n they are and they should admit it to themselves and act with some damn respect.”

    Trinity tried and failed for several moments to hold himself together before he burst, doubling over with laughter. She’d never seen him laugh like this in person-- heard it, maybe, over a particularly good meme or something, but never like this, actual tears forming in his eyes. She grinned, wide and crooked, her job here complete. He slapped his knee, struggling to straighten back up. “Ah, Az. You’ve brought us full circle.” He wiped a hand over his eyes. “I give a shit about you. I am also what she said about me. And you are also ‘cooler’n’ them. Yes?”

    Now suddenly she was bashful again. No one ever called her cool. Smart, maybe, or nice or even helpful sometimes, but never cool. She blushed. “Sure. At least I know how to act normal. Sorta. In comparison, at least.” Her hand reached up to scratch behind her ear, sympathy painting her features. “It’s a sad little life she’s about to lead. Honestly, I hope it’s what she actually wants or else she’s gonna be damn lonely without an actual someone to connect with.”

    “It’s a sad life most of us lead,” was his only response. His face was turned slightly from her, into the shadows of the dark hallway, leaving his expression unreadable. “Sometimes there are things more important than our own happiness. Shall we?” He held out a hand, gesturing back down the hall towards the well-lit bustle of the ballroom. It struck Azzy that things in this world seemed to hide better among glitter and blinding lights than they did in the dark. Nevertheless, she placed her own hand gently in his.

    “Now remember, act like you like me or else I might actually have to throw down one of these days.”

    “Right, right.” Trinity huffed out a tiny little laugh, his fingers finding the skin of her hip once more. “As long as you’re alright with it.”

    “I’m a bad actor, this is easier.” She leaned her head into his shoulder, wrapping her arm around his waist and leaning into him. “Plus, this way I don’t even have to stand up straight.”

18. A Dancer In Her Own Right

    Her boots made a gentle beat against the hard metal of the floor. One step then another, sure of herself even as she looked in the opposite direction to her movement. There was a rhythm to her every sway, every object she tossed over her shoulder and caught in the other hand a step in a dance she was choreographing on the spot. Something from this drawer, cross the room to another cabinet, all of it swirling around that constant central point that was the examination table and her workbench. Watching her set up for a deep maintenance test was like witnessing a ballet. Her stretch for something off a high shelf was easy, graceful. She knew exactly how far everything was, exactly how many steps to get there. She carried the objects she collected as though they weighed nothing, a spring in her step the whole way. 

    Trinity sat on a counter as far out of her way as he could get, but he might as well not have been there at all, for all having another person in her space slowed her down. He couldn’t help but marvel a bit at the sureness of her movements, now that she was in a place entirely her own. In society and on a ballroom floor she stumbled occasionally, one might even assume she was clumsy. That thought would be long gone the moment they saw this dance, one made by and for her, the perfect combination of grace and power. Ballroom dances were as much for the observers as the dancers themselves, but being able to observe this felt like a privilege more than a right. Being allowed to appreciate this sight as an outsider, a friend but someone who would admit freely that he couldn’t even begin to understand her, was a gift. In this moment, Trinity relaxed, and let himself appreciate the organic yet mechanical beauty of her, without letting his brain get in the way. After all, dancing was supposed to be instinct above thought. 

    She held out a hand, and he automatically picked up a wrench that sat at his side, placing the handle in her palm. She took it without looking, and the dance went on. She vaulted casually onto a countertop like it was the most natural thing in the world, grabbing some gray box off a shelf near the ceiling and hopping down without a hint of hesitation, no signs of exhaustion as sparks flew in her wake. She made her way back to the center to drop both things off, to pick up something else, to continue this seemingly endless waltz. Individual curls of hair freed themselves from her braid, her beanie long discarded in favor of having the goggles she typically wore around her neck situated atop her head. She stopped briefly at the edge of her stage, only to map out a new path that carved the edges of the room from the center, a small bucket in hand to hold whatever things she needed as she went along. She needed a lot of trinkets and tools, and she knew what each of them were. She paused briefly in front of him, and pointed above his head. It took him a moment to insert himself into her rhythm again, then he knew what she wanted without words. He slid off the counter and held out his hands to make a step for her, boosting her up to whatever it was she needed to reach. She stepped lightly onto his outstretched hands, opening a cabinet and pulling a bottle down in the same motion as her descent back to the ground. She flashed him a grin, crooked and pleased. He heard a snippet of something she was humming to herself, low and sweet, her own orchestra to accompany her own dance. 

    Now that he was no longer needed for the moment, Trinity hopped back up on the counter, content to just watch her work in perfect harmony with herself.

[frenchibi]

A rant-essay about The Witcher books (and comparison to the show)

((after having read book one, and started into a good chunk of book two.))

Proceed at your own discretion, there will be a lot of frustration and swearing. Also, spoilers for basically the entirety of the Netflix show. Also, there is discussion of sexual assault and objectification and lots and lots of sexism.

The structure of my rant is as follows (because yes I structured it):

 1. Things that I enjoyed in the books

1.1 Geralt talks more

1.2 Geralt and Jaskier have a better relationship

1.3 The fairy tale theme

2. Things that made me want to scream

2.1 Geralt (is not a good character)

2.2 Yennefer (deserves better)

2.3 Jaskier's sexism (Netflix!Jaskier would NEVER)

2.4 Female Characters; Sexy Fantasy That Fucks (it's bad)

2.5 Narrative devices and structure (it’s bad)

3. Bonus: Why the audiobook grinds my gears

Total length: 4k words :’) Click to proceed.

(So, we’re doing this? I think forty likes is sufficient general interest, so... okay. Obligatory disclaimer here: This Is My Opinion. However, I am not fabricating any of the… grounds for my opinion, it is based on the content of the books, that I read, and which are broadly available, so anyone can read them and see for themselves. Personally, I would not recommend the experience, and below I will detail the reasons why. If, like I was, you’re hesitant about reading them, this essay might sway your decision either way. You might go “oh thanks op now I know I won’t like it” or “huh I think I wanna see this for myself because you’re yelling a lot”. It’s all equally valid. Anyway, let’s proceed with “things I enjoyed”.)

1.1 Geralt talks more Geralt in the books is a bit of a mess as far as characterization goes - but I don't hate that he's less stoic here and less... idk, arrogant/superior towards humans than he is in the show. He talks to people, engages with them, discloses opinions and thoughts and… it's a good look. We even get several pages of monologue from him at one point (because he is talking to a priestess who has taken a vow of silence, but I’ll take it – the books in general have a monologue/structure problem which I will address in 2.5) which is way more than the show ever provided us with. I’d like to say it gives us an insight into the character but maybe that’s a bit of a stretch, see below (2.1).

 1.2 Geralt and Jaskier have a better relationship

Geralt and Jaskier are FRIENDS. And I mean that literally the first thing we hear Geralt say about Jaskier in canon in book one is "of course I want to see him, he's my friend". Which - Netflix!Geralt could NEVER and I'm salty about it. Jaskier in the books has his own problems (2.3) but I still think he's my favorite overall, he's fun and Geralt genuinely enjoys his company. They travel together and ENJOY it, they joke, they reminisce and it is Good. Netflix, take notes.

 1.3 The fairy tale theme

This gets lost in the Netflix adaptation altogether but. The idea in the books is that all these monsters that Geralt encounters are dark twists on fairy tales and I'm HERE FOR IT. Renfri is literally Snow White But Badass. Cinderella, Rapunzel and Rumpelstiltskin’s stories are mentioned in passing, and other ideas that are explored here have fairy tale elements, e.g. slaying the dragon. It's cool, but apparently the story loses this aspect in later volumes so I guess it makes sense that the show decided to omit it. Still a bummer tho bc I liked that.

 So. Now on to Things that made me want to Scream, which is what we’re all really here for.

2.1 Geralt (is not a good character)

Geralt, oh Geralt, I wish you weren't such an obvious Mary Sue, Saviour™ and thinly veiled Jesus allegory. Geralt is always, ALWAYS right and it pisses me the fuck off. Geralt gets all the women he wants with NO PROMPTING and it makes me angry. Geralt always has the last laugh in every and any situation. Geralt is always smarter and more powerful than the Idiot Humans. Geralt ignores advice and suffers no consequences for it. Geralt has no well-thought out character, no consistency - he just is the "main character" and "hero" that the story needs - if the story needs him to be smart, he is, if it needs him to make a mistake, he does - he has no AGENCY and it’s BORING. Why am I supposed to care about him, exactly? Because the plot tells me to, and because everyone else is framed like an idiot in comparison and you’re supposed to like strong and smart characters. Cool. Bleh.

 2.2 Yennefer (deserves better)

Strap in, because this is the longest part.

Yennefer in the books is… a badass (but sexy) until the plot needs her to be a damsel (but sexy). She also occasionally has one (1) other character trait and that trait is Crazy Bitch.

I’ll admit I was not her biggest fan after the show (I didn’t really connect with her that much after she became vindictive™, though I gotta say her role in the last battle was Very Cool) but in the wake of what I have read so far, I have decided to AGGRESSIVELY STAN because she fucking. Deserves better. Oh my GOD it makes me so angry. Here’s how I think her character creation probably went:

"Ok so here we have Geralt, who is a badass, and So Cool, and he could have any Female he desires. But his Female can't be inferior and giggly and vapid like literally all other women - she needs to be the ideal fantasy Fantasy.

First: she needs powers. So we'll make her a Cool Sorceress! And more powerful than the other sorceresses because Geralt deserves the BEST. But also, he needs to be able to be Cooler and save her so she needs to be (like all females are, because they are inferior) emotionally volatile and vulnerable, and Geralt will also be the only one who gets to see that Vulnerability because Geralt has the biggest dick is her love interest. So she will be weak around him because he's just so hung wonderful.

Secondly, she needs a believable weakness (besides being too emotional because all women are too emotional), and as we all know, women have one purpose: to bREED. But not Yennefer - oh no, Yennefer is (wait for it, this is the dramatic backstory, hold your breath) broken, she's BARREN, USELESS AND EMPTY AND SHE HATES HERSELF FOR IT!!!!!

*pause for dramatic effect*

I know right that's so SEXY

[This is the point where I’m like… this might, possibly, maybe, under very different circumstances have been a compelling storyline if the author had ever consulted a woman. Or, you know, if the story was written by a woman. This is objectification and fetishization of the worst kind and I hate it. The show has this element too and it’s bad there too but it’s nowhere near as pronounced as in the books. Anyway-]

Speaking of sexy - obviously Yennefer is the sexiest of all the women Geralt has ever encountered. And because I, as the author, am aware that's unrealistic, I will drop in YET ANOTHER PIECE OF DRAMATIC BACKSTORY: She used to be a HUNCHBACK!!! *air horns* I KNOW RIGHT OH MY GOD and now she made herself SEXY with MAGIC because YOU KNOW ALL WOMEN WANT TO BE OBJECTIFIED BY MEN!!! SEXY FANTASY THAT FUCKS!!!!

[also? This is revealed to Geralt (and the reader) not by her telling him, or by a flashback, but because he "sees that she has the eyes of a hunchback". I can’t even begin to state how much I hate this.]

Anyway every time she shows up it will be mentioned how shapely her legs and breasts are and how young she looks despite the fact that she must be Old. She will turn heads and men will scorn her because she is too pretty and not interested in them and men hate anything that has any amount of sexual power or agency. but not Geralt, no, because he gets to fuck her at the end of the day so he's the only one who doesn't objectify her out loud. (but he does in his internal monologue. hooray.)

Also, to emphasize this point, we will have a side character sexually violate her while Geralt is tied up because that is The New Hotness™"

And if that wasn't enough, she as a character subscribes to what is known as "Female Hysteria For No Reason" and will become a Woman Scorned over absolutely nothing if the plot needs her to be angry.

The plot regarding her relationship with Geralt is also a bit different - in the show, she gets angry once she finds out Geralt's third wish ties them together (whether this is justified may be subjective - except yeah, no, she’s absolutely right, Geralt what the fuck??). In the book, she hears his wish as he makes it because MAGIC and is somehow SUPER INTO IT because this author has never met a human woman before.

...and then I need to complain about the storyline with the dragon. Because, you will remember, in the show, she gets angry and storms off after learning of the third wish, but that can’t be the case because she already knows about it in the books, right?

Well.

 The story in the books goes like this:

Six years ago, after one of their affairs™ Geralt leaves without waking Yennefer (but like. Leaves her flowers instead) and admittedly that's kind of rude but also like... ok. That doesn’t seem too strange a thing for Geralt to do. Maybe he just wanted to let her rest? Anyway.

They don't meet for six years, in which Geralt idk... idly misses her or something, and Yennefer develops a deep lasting hatred based on her abandonment issues…? (I am. grasping. there's no good reason if this relationship is as casual to both of them as they have made it sound, but she is SUPER MAD because the plot needs her to be ANGERY).

So with his backdrop, cue the search for the dragon. Geralt is like "eh I'll join them. I have nowhere better to be, also Jaskier is here and he's not boring so ok" and then he hears Yennefer will also be there and goes "oh well all the better, haven't seen her in a while"

And when he follows her to her tent to greet her, she spits verbal FIRE at him and is like "bitch you're lucky i didn't gouge your fucking EYES out" and other lovely statements of a similar calibre, and Geralt just stands there and takes it and tells her he missed her.

which implies either a) he knows what he did and he thinks he deserves this, or b) he has done nothing wrong in his own eyes and this is just "bitch crazy" to be ignored. It is heavily implied to be b), because, in our third person POV narrative, we get NO REMORSE from him, no indication as to what he thinks about this whole thing Yennefer is accusing him of, nothing at all in terms of emotional response to her. Cool. She yells at him and then storms of, and he just… idk, shrugs I guess?

So, they travel, Yennefer is Icy Bitch Queen but also everyone hates her and insults her to an absurd degree (see above, she's Too Sexy and Powerful and also like, a Woman) and she takes it without saying anything back but it's obvious that everyone's trash talk is affecting her (so it’s obvious that at some point she will be Vulnerable again). Jaskier, who seems to have no personal grudge against her at this point in the books, joins in the teasing because he's there to make fun of everyone I guess? (boy.) No deeper malice from him than from anyone else though.

And then, for drama, the party reaches a narrow bridge. They’re debating whether or not it is safe to cross with all their supplies and then BAM! there's a landslide so they have no choice. The events go like this:

- Geralt lets the others cross first. Right as he wants to cross, he hears Yennefer yell because her horse fell over, because of course it did

- Geralt abandons his own means of escape to go help her up, and then she proceeds to save his ass because SHE HAS FUCKING MAGIC THERE WAS NO POINT IN YOU GOING TO SAVE HER YOU FUCKER she just makes a shield so nothing hits them and they stumble to the bridge

- they get caught on the bridge as it collapses, and of course Yennefer is the one who falls first, and he catches her, so they're both hanging there and he's holding on to her suspended over this. Canyon or whatever.

- Jaskier, from above, yells to the others to get a rope to help pull them up but they respond to "wait until the bitch has fallen, then we'll pull the witcher up"

which. wow. but ok.

Yennefer can barely hold on, and HERE is where Geralt asks her to forgive him for… his wrongdoings…? (you know, can't have her die with a grudge, I guess? Or whatever?) He's like "Yen, forgive me" and she says "NEVER"

((and also, she has consistently kept telling him to stop calling her Yen (which he first started when they started... having Relations™ so obviously now it has bad memories attached to it for her), which he blatantly ignores because her feelings don't matter))

In the end, Jaskier gets the others to help despite their reluctance and hatred of Yennefer and they travel on. Yennefer's back to being Ice Queen - and then they find the dragon. Some fucker tries to fight it alone and gets injured. Yennefer is in charge of healing this dude, and so she ends up alone with Geralt in a tent – where she asks him to double-cross everyone else and kill the dragon himself (after telling them all she would cooperate with them) - "for me. I want the dragon, Geralt, for myself. All of it. I don't want to share. Kill it for me" and then explains that not all is lost because with certain parts of the dragon, SOMEONE CAN CURE HER BARRENNESS and i want to launch myself into the fucking sun

Geralt is like "uhhhh"

she says "on the bridge, you asked for my forgiveness- if you do this, I'll forgive you"

and then HE GOES "well, that no longer matters to me. I'm over it now" which hsadjlkfhsajdklfhsajkldfhaskdfsj I cannot begin to impart to you how many levels of “UGH” I felt at the predictable reversal of roles because he can’t ACTUALLY have to apologize to her – it’s HER who has to apologize to HIM for being an irrational Female

and now SHE'S all like. quivering lip and wanting him back or whatever and I am SICKENED that SHE IS THE ONE WHO HAS TO GROVEL NOW BECAUSE THE PLOT CANNOT HAVE GERALT EVER MAKE A MISTAKE AND OWN TO IT?!?

Thanks, I hate it.

 Oh and I almost forgot in all my rage about that storyline – when we first meet her, we learn that Yennefer apparently doesn’t “bother with the whalebone [i.e. corset] nonsense other women use” (literal quote from the book) so I guess her tits are magic???

This just in, if she needs boob support SHE’S A THOT, if your knockers don’t stand on their own you’re INFERIOR and NOT DESIRABLE, GTFO.

 2.3 Jaskier’s sexism (Netflix!Jaskier would never)

Jaskier, you have been done dirty.

It could have been so cool too - Jaskier in the books is witty and likeable and makes friends wherever he goes because everyone likes a bard?? Also he's really smart and knowledgeable because "a bard needs to know about many things" which is SO VALID??? And Geralt trusts him and cares about his opinion??? And also it's clear Jaskier likes Geralt, not just for the purpose of writing ballads about him, but because they're old friends, they've travelled together a lot - yes, their relationship is good here, regardless of your shipping preferences. (Also, he wears a hat with a large feather on it, which is how Geralt recognizes him in crowds, and it's amazing and hilarious.)

HOWEVER.

Jaskier treats women terribly. At his first introduction, he literally gropes a priestess (and then makes fun of the high priestess for chastising him for it). He sees women very much as objects to be… maybe not “won” but, well, persuaded, which makes him a tiny bit better than most of the other men, who are basically straight-up rapists. But then there's the scene with Yennefer which. Made everything turn sour tbh. It goes like this:

Yennefer wants to go after the dragon alone (see above), but before she can get Geralt to do it for her and double-cross everyone, she's overwhelmed by some of the other men in the party and they're all tied up (Jaskier, Geralt, some other pacifist sorcerer who is around, and Yennefer). And one of the men, who hates her for her (sexual) power, rips open her blouse and exposes her and assaults her while she screams, so then he gags her. And then when he’s done he walks away and leaves her exposed. Geralt looks away after she screams at him not to stare (wow, points for chivalry, the standard is literally So Low - also his justification for obeying her wishes is that he’s already seen her boobs so it’s not a big deal to him anymore) but Jaskier shamelessly stares at her even after she makes it absolutely clear she does not consent to ANY of this and has no choice because SHE IS TIED UP, and he even jokes that he'll write a ballad about her perfect breasts. And I'm over here like.... no. no, no, no, no, no. Jaskier deserved better characterization and Yennefer deserves a better fucking franchise.

 2.4 Female characters; Sexy Fantasy That Fucks (it’s bad)

I have touched a lot on this already so I'll try to be brief, but. Ugh.

Sexy Fantasy That Fucks™ is practically a legit genre and sadly a lot of semi-progressive fantasy falls into this category - where we have moved on from having only like one or two named female character (see: LotR) to having several, and look, they can even fight, but only as long as they're aggressively sexually attractive to men while they do it. Poor Harley Quinn suffered the same treatment in Suicide Squad - The Male Gaze Filter.

Here in the books it goes like this: Oh look, “vaguely tribal” women who fight - but they're also the most overtly sexual and involved in a canon off-screen orgy with Geralt and an older (practically old) man and are portrayed as Perpetually Horny. Oh look, Yennefer, a badass sorceress who falls apart when Geralt so much as looks her way because Geralt is so fucking great I guess. Then there’s the 14-year-old striga princess who needs to be described, once her curse is lifted, with emphasis to her “perky breasts”. SHE'S FOURTEEN. And there’s the young priestesses, who are subtly flattered by Jaskier's direct "advances" because, you know, they've dedicated their lives to serving a goddess but understandably they just WANT TO FUCK™.

There is a single female character who is not sexualized - the head priestess, Nenneke. She's described as fat and old (and wise though, throw her a bone). Geralt respects her because of her wisdom but that's it - she has a Use™. And also, he ignores her advice in the end anyway. Pity she wasn't more beautiful I guess. I am Sickened.

 2.5 Narrative devices and structure (it’s bad)

Now, we get to the bones of the thing. There's... one main thing that really bothers me and that's a CLASSIC - the fact that this author prefers to have action explained to the reader through monologues by characters that inexplicably have All The Information, rather than have us, you know, experience the action first hand. There are a couple of fight scenes of Geralt vs A Monster, sure, but that's all we get - everything else is told to us through monologues. (and yes it's still a monologue even if Geralt interrupts to say "go on" or "get to the point". It's not really a dialogue if the other person is only being expositioned at. Now Geralt just looks impatient and annoying.) Even the short story format (of the first two books) is explained this way: the individual short stories are monologues within conversations in the base timeline, explaining to the reader (and to Nenneke in the narrative proper) backstories and how characters met.

Which... it's a choice? It makes more sense than the show with it’s wack-ass timeline with absolutely no conext. But like. Why can't you have us at least discover the respective monster through someone else's POV though? I get that we're always staying with Geralt because Geralt is oh so great, but rather than have some Constable explain to him for like twelve pages how the princess (who is, without any intrigue, an incest-princess - this is not a mystery, everybody is aware of this at the beginning of the story and freely provides this information without prompting) became a striga and how many people she has killed and what people say she looks like and how to allegedly cure her - can’t we see that shit happen? Like... ok, thanks? I hate it. The show did this better.

 3. Bonus: why the audiobook grinds my gears

Last and definitely least - the audiobook is BAD (but I don't want to buy physical copies, and my library won't have the English version because I live in Germany, so I guess I'm stuck with it). The guy who reads it is Bad At Reading Out Loud because his emphasis/cadence is incredibly unnatural (also regrettably all the books are read by the same guy) and his pronunciation of names (most notably Jaskier, who is called Dandelion in the English version of the books) is inconsistent??? He started out by (correctly) calling him dandelion in book 1 and now has changed to pronouncing it dandelion, like the flower, which is not how you say his name (and... no offense if he’d started out that way because I, too, thought that was how you said it just from reading the word - but he says it CORRECTLY in the first book and then changes it to the wrong pronunciation in book two so I’m confused?? How does that happen?)

Also - different accents for different characters are only a good idea if a) you're good at accents and b) they aren't overtly connoted? Like. Don't give a guy in a fantasy setting a bad russian accent??? Also what part of Geralt as a character made you think SCOTTISH???? Oof.

And another thing - these little descriptors after direct speech? They MATTER.

"Don't touch me," Yennefer hissed

and

"Don't touch me," Yennefer screamed

are two very different sentences and should be read as such. You can't just. Say "Don't touch me" seductively and then add "she yelled". That's not how voice acting works. Please, pLEASE I'M SUFFERING. I was already struggling enough with some of the content of the books and now you’re making consuming them really difficult and irritating :’) Oof.

 In conclusion – I don’t even know. I was mad and now I’m tired.

  Anyway, all this to say – I didn’t hate every aspect of the books. I will keep reading (in my case listening) because I’m stupid, I apparently love to suffer and I am, thanks to the show, invested in the storyline and want to know what happens. But I will most certainly keep complaining about them because that’s the only way to make this fun for myself. And are you not entertained?!

Who knows. Maybe stuff will get better.

Take from this post what you will, and if it’s only my personal hypocrisy then that’s fine. I hope you had a nice day – I’m gonna go make myself some tea to calm down. And I’ll have you know that despite what you may have heard, I have never worn a bra in my life, because I’m not like other girls.

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #293

“your head upon a stick would look really sick, but they would call me crazy for the way i spoke to it”

Hey bitch, what's your fucking name? What a start, jc lmao. Brittany. What color are your nails? They're not painted. Last time you got some ass? Well this survey's gonna be a journey. Many years ago. Do your parents like your style/music choices? Yeah, at least most of it. Some music my mom really doesn't like or just hates, while I can't even imagine Dad's reaction to some bands I enjoy. Ever seen your parents make out? tbh would rather slam my ankle on a Razor scooter. What's your dream height and weight? Forget about my height, if I could just be at least 120 again... Do you put your hair up a lot or down? It's too short to put up. Most of the time do you straighten or curl your hair? Neither. What do you do when your house loses power? Light a bunch of candles and carry flashlights. What piercing do you hate? I'm not a fan of cheek piercings. Were you raised in a religious house? Yes. I grew up going to Sunday school and church, even though I hated both. Do your parents get mad when you're on the computer for hours? Gah... it was a very, very big source of argumentative fuel between Mom and me all the way up to my late teenage years when she just gave up; now, it's to be expected and is completely "normal." I always wanted to be on the computer once I was introduced to it; she tried to limit my time on it, and it was without fail what she would take away whenever I was grounded. I'd even sneak onto it when I wasn't allowed to if she wasn't home and Dad was in their room. My mom really did try to keep me from being hooked on technology, she really did, it just didn't work, but dear god I wish it did. I just about turn into a caveman without some form of it, and it's pretty pathetic. Dad meanwhile has never really cared much, but he'd make a comment here and there that would make me self-conscious about it. Have you ever been asked for a nude picture? No, and guess who would be ignored for the rest of their lives if they did. It's so fucking disrespectful and objectifying to me. If someone wants to send a partner something like that by their own volition, that's cool, but asking, that just seems incredibly rude to me and turns the person into an object of lust. Ever been so scared you pissed? Caaan't say I have. Can you watch scary movies at night and not be scared? Yeah, they've never really fazed me. Last reason you got your cell taken away? I actually don't know if that's ever happened, given the aforementioned computer thing. I was never hooked on my phone. Could you handle working on a farm? Nooooo, that is way too much physical exertion. Have you ever been attacked by an animal? No. Have you ever had to put an animal to sleep? ugh Do you have a favorite type of firework? Well, visually I really just like the big colorful ones, but I don't endorse the use of fireworks anymore. Some animals literally die from fear, they can be seriously upsetting to veterans with PTSD (you could have one in your neighborhood and never know you indirectly gave them a panic attack), and they're a large source of litter. Where would/did you get your first tattoo? My right wrist. What's your favorite kind of pet? Snakes. Favorite dinosaur? Spinosaurus is obviously the coolest. It's always been my fave. How many pets do you have? Sigh, just two. Our landlord doesn't want us to get anymore pets than what we came in with. What were two of your favorite Disney movies as child? The Lion King and Finding Nemo. They're still my favorite Disney movies. When carving pumpkins, how do you decide what you're going to do? I haven't carved a pumpkin in years... so idk. Do you own any art supplies? Some, yeah. Do you believe you have a higher IQ than most? Definitely not. What is the name of the doctor that delivered you? I have no clue. Mom knows him for sure because she's mentioned him from my childhood, but I don't. Have you ever seen a Lamborghini in person? Hunny, I live in rural North Carolina. You don't see that level of bougie here lmao. Shane Dawson: funny or annoying? I honestly think he's fucking hilarious. I just have such conflicting feelings about him after "the drama," hearing so many people's opinions (particularly from those who know him so well, like his fiance and Ryland's sister), fact checking, audio cutting and mixing, the whole "people change" philosophy... I don't know. When you have a container of Neapolitan ice cream, what flavor do you leave for last? I ain't touchin' strawberry. Gross. If you could choose to have any superpower ever, what would you pick? I'd wanna be a shapeshifter/druid. What would you be more embarrassed to buy: sex toys or adult diapers? Yikes, sex toys. Given my age, I'd say if I bought adult diapers, people would assume they weren't for me. I'm awkward enough with all things relating to sex to begin with, so. What’s the biggest animal you’ve ever killed? Yo wtf I never have and never will (intentionally) kill an animal. Well, correction: I've killed bugs before, the biggest probably being some spider or something, but I really try to avoid this now. Could you win the Hunger Games? lol hell to the fuck no, have you seen me??? For you, would getting amnesia be a good thing? ... Maybe? Not saying I wanna find out, though. Have you ever been punched in the face? No, plan on keeping it that way. Is morality universal or relative? I question this myself. Who is your favorite late night talk show host? I don't have one. Where do you put your keys when you get home? They stay in my purse. Do you prefer hot coffee or iced coffee? Neither. The sheer variety of questions relating to coffee and tea in surveys boggles my mind, always feel left out that I can't answer 'em lmao. What’s your phone background picture? My lock screen is this pretty, soft aesthetic screen that has "i am strong, i am loved, i am enough" written in the center. I've really needed it for my mental health lately. My home screen is some meerkats. I know, can you believe neither are currently Mark? Have you ever seen a snake in the wild? Plenty. How do you cope with anxiety? Deep breathing, mindfulness and grounding exercises, confiding in my mom, listening to music (usually my favorite calm, instrumental soundtracks, like from the Silent Hill franchise - particularly the second game! - or Shadow of the Colossus), try to nap, play a game as a distraction, watch my favorite YouTubers (typically something funny)... I'm lucky to have learned a lot. Now, if only I could cope with social anxiety... What was the last takeout food you ate? Oh Jesus, how embarrassing is this timing, seeing as it was one of my unhealthiest fast food orders: Son of the Baconator and Baconator fries from Wendy's. It was so fuckin good tho. Who makes you laugh the most? My friend Girt. What does a successful relationship look like to you? One with great communication and total honesty, and when you are able to build each other up and bring out the best in your partner. It's also imperative for you to feel safe being your authetic safe for me to consider it "successful." What do you like to put on your baked potato? "Salt, pepper, butter, cheese, bacon bits." <<<< That's how we do it, lads. What was the most memorable birthday you’ve had? My 16th, but not for good reasons. Would you rather go to the beach or the mountains? That's easy as hell, mountains. I don't like the beach. Do you look in the mirror before you leave the house? Yeah. Not gonna like what I see no matter what, but I'd like to make sure I don't look worse whan what's normal. Have you ever seen someone quit their job in a dramatic way? No. What do you like to dip your fries in? It varies between ketchup and honey mustard. What’s your favorite kind of museum? Science. Do you believe in alternate universes? Nah, I don't think so. Whose house did you last visit? My older sister's. What games do you play on your smart phone? Mostly just Pokemon GO nowadays. I haven't touched Dragons of Atlantis in a long time... Do you know anyone who is colorblind? Jason's older brother is red/green colorblind, I think? Are you the youngest, middle or eldest child in your family? Middle. What’s something you’ve been meaning to do but keep putting off? Ugh, I need to finish decorating my damn room... Got most of the stuff on the walls now, but it's still pretty skeletal in self expression. My motivation is abysmal. Have you ever flown a kite? Oh yeah, I loved to fly a kite with Dad as a little kid when the tobacco field just across the road was barren. Who was the last person you talked about sex/relationships with? My doctor. How many brothers does your father have? I'm almost certain he doesn't have one, just one sister. Do you think you act older or younger than your actual age? It depends on the situation. When it comes to "adulting," I don't have a fuckin clue what I'm doing. I doubt anyone would believe I'm a month shy of 25. In terms of general maturity, I think I act my age, if not older. When was the last time you swam in a pool? It's been years. What are your parents' views on your relationships? Mom is always very supportive so long as they treat me right; she's taken to all my previous partners very well and treated them like family, too. My dad is also supportive as long as I'm treated properly and happy. Is your best friend dating anyone? No. Have you ever babysat before? Twice, but not really willingly. Way too stressful. Do you delete pictures of you and your exes off of Facebook? It took a very, very long time, but all pictures with Jason are forever deleted. Ever had a huge crush on someone who still doesn’t know? Not a huge crush, no. Ever watched porn? No. You do you, but I don't see the appeal of watching some random people fuck. Ever performed in a talent show? No. Would you audition for a reality talent competition? Nope. How many celebrity crushes have you had? I'd say Jesse McCartney, Link Neal, and Mark Fischbach are my only BIG celeb crushes I've had. How many non-celebrity crushes have you had? I dunno, don't feel like reaching back and counting. Ever been compared to a celebrity? Not visually, but with my adoration of animals. Have any embarrassing pictures on Facebook? Oh, I'm sure. None that are horribly embarrassing though, or else I would have deleted them. Ever seen a therapist? I've regularly seen a therapist since the 6th grade. Ever purposely ignored a text? Yep. A Facebook message? Sure have, when I was beyond done arguing with a former friend. A friend request? No, I just decline or accept it. My page is private, so you can't see my activity, and it's not like they get notified if it's declined, Would you say you read into things too much? I am the fucking sovereign of this. If you turned out exactly like your mom would you be pleased? I love my mom to death, but no. I'd be disappointed. Ever had a credit card denied? I've never had one in the first place. Ever had the lead in a play? No. I do remember though in elementary school, I was real bummed that I wasn't Snow White for one we did for Music class. What about a solo in a concert? Never been in a concert. Would it bother you if you found out that your mother was pregnant? Well. One, she's long past menopause. Two, because of ovarian cancer, she had all those organs removed. So, that would be impossible. Have you ever had a threesome? No; I'm personally strictly monogamous and would feel it to be disloyal, even if my parnter was okay with it. What's the last game you used dice for? Not a clue. Are you interested in surfing at all? Have you ever been? No. What brand of bottled water do you prefer? Essentia. What is your favorite type of bird? Barn owls. What is your favorite chocolate candy? motherfuckin REESE'S Have you ever been called a racial slur? No, considering I'm Caucasian. Why did you last stand in line? I was at the doctor's office, I think? What is your favorite pirate movie? /shrug What is your favorite character from Orange Is the New Black? I've never watched it. What was the most unsettling film you’ve seen? Watching the ending to Paranormal Entity was VERY uncomfortable. It was a decently scary movie, but the ending was seriously intense. When was the last time you were snooping, and found something you wish you hadn’t? I don't recall. Which celebrity or band has the worst fan base? I don't know. What are you interested in that most people aren’t? The sheer degree of my love for meerkats would definitely be missed by probably most people. What smartphone feature would you actually be excited for a company to implement? I dunno. Anything I could think of, the most current products probably already have and I'm just uninformed of them. Like, I use a Tracfone lmao. What’s something people don’t worry about but really should? Their plastic usage and disposal. I'm certainly no saint when it comes to plastic either, but I try to do all I can. What movie quotes do you use on a regular basis? Hm, ARE there any? Do you think that children born today will have better or worse lives than their parents? This depends on what you consider "better" and "worse." Environmentally, I honestly don't think mankind can maintain itself for that many more generations at the rate we're currently at, so that's probably just gonna keep getting worse. On the other hand, advances in medicine and things like that will certainly continue to improve quality of life in that sense. Human rights are getting better and better. I do fear that we're becoming too comfortable with laziness and convenience, but I hope that's a decline we don't continue to venture down. What’s the funniest actual name you’ve heard of someone having? I had a college classmate named Apple. Which charity or charitable cause is most deserving of money? Oh, come on now. It's not a competition. What game have you spent the most hours playing? So. When you type /played in World of Warcraft, it will show you your total playtime, and mine is YIKES. Like, around a year's worth of time of pure playing since 2014, I think. What’s the most comfortable bed or chair you’ve ever been in? I don't recall. What’s the hardest you’ve ever worked? When I did WiiFit religiously and lost around 40 pounds in HS. I was in the best shape of my life. What movie, picture, or video always makes you laugh no matter how often you watch it? Oh, there's certainly something. Probably some Unus Annus clip. That channel was a fucking blessing and a curse all the same. If you could have an all-expenses paid trip to see any famous world monument, which monument would you choose? Oh boy, I'd have to think, but probably somewhere in Rome or Greece. What’s the coldest you’ve ever been? I'm unsure. Probably jumping in the pool as a kid. My sisters and I would nag Dad to put the pool up on like the very first day of spring, so of course it was cold, but as a kid, I didn't mind that. What’s the most ridiculous thing you have bought? Hm. What’s the most depressing meal you’ve eaten? Ha ha yiiiikes, struggle foods... I don't know, but I've had some. What outdoor activity haven’t you tried, but would like to? Herping, though I change my mind on-and-off about it. I'm not very into the idea of disturbing wildlife just because they're cool and you wanna check them out. I'd totally go exploring with a camera, though, and not actually pick anything up. If you were given five million dollars to open a small museum, what kind of museum would you create? Hm... I actually think something like an art museum for the mentally ill would be pretty interesting and educational? Even something that could build empathy. Maybe mix some psychology in there to understand conditions.

[elains]

BOOK REVIEW: HOUSE OF EARTH AND BLOOD, Crescent City Book I, by Sarah J. Maas.

First off, my sincerest thanks to @scraphim, who listened to my comments and rants with the patience of a saint and encourage me to put them down. Second, english is not my first language, so my apologies if there's anything confusing or awkward.

General Rating: ★★ 1/2

THERE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE A CUT HERE OUT OF COURTESY BUT TUMBLR MOBILE IS BEING ITS IMPOSSIBLE SELF SO DO MIND THE RATING BEFORE CONTINUING.

Congratulations, Sarah J. Maas. You got me to sit down and write a review for a book, something I hadn't done (officially, anyway, might as well count the endless conversations with my friends) in a long while. Unfortunately, House of Earth and Blood was one more disappointment in an ever-growing list, and this review was born not out of pure, simple enjoyment, but of how much reading this bothered me.

Let me start by saying that I wanted to like this book. I did. I don't buy books which I don't think there's a chance I will not enjoy, I have way too much to do with my life and little money to spare on that. I hoped Sarah would go back to the early days of ToG, when the writing wasn't so choppy I kept questioning what is her problem with commas and when the characters weren't more and more of the same. Or perhaps that she would go back to ACoMaF, which at the time I loved reading.

Silly, silly me. The thing about having an eye-opener to something is that you can't go back. It's not so simple to close your eyes and pretend the bad doesn't exist, doing so feels irresponssible. I'm not sure her books have changed much, perhaps it was just me, the reader, whose perspective changed.

Let's go into the detail, then. Warning for spoilers of her previous books:

• THE LENGTH. It. Is. Ridiculosly. Long. I would say that length itself it's not necessarily a bad thing, something can be long but engaging. HoEaB's problem is that it drags on, to the point I had to put it down I don't know how many times out of frustration that nothing relevant happened. The infodumps do not help AT ALL, making the whole experience even more tiresome. I'll talk about worldbuilding separately, but jesus, so much unecessary information whose only purpose was to add to the wordcount and could have been woven into the story more organically. Readers are not dumb, they can make simple inferences, you don't need to explain every little detail.

The story only picks up and runs like the devil itself is chasing it in the last like, 20 chapters or so. Considering there are 97 of them... Yeah. It could have been a shorter, more direct and overall just more engaging.

• THE WORLDBUILD. I'll give Sarah J. Maas a point: it is more elaborate and refined compared to ToG and ACoTaR, whose worldbuilding are in general quite shallow and in the later's case, nearly nonexistent. However, the use of names blatantly lifted from real-world mythology and places bothered me to NO END. In a book which is built around those mythologies as their main source of inspiration, I can understand. Not here. Look, Maas can come up with original fantasy names, there are even some in HoEaB itself. But unless it's meant to be purposeful and Crescent City is to be Earth All Along, it's just jarring and feels lazy. It's not something new— refer back to the Illyrians and the Myrmidons.

Archean? Valbara? Pangera? Hel? REALLY? And those are just place names. Might as well name something Proterozoic. Or Laurasia.

The Roman inspiration, which was supposed to be a big thing from all her talk felt extremely loose and barely there. Oh sure, there are legions, a governor, the SPQR/M, and some names which to me, a portuguese speaker, where so cringy I had to laugh (Like Gelos and Cervo. You know, literally Ices and Stag or in that case Hind), but they did not feel Roman to me, naming aside. You could literally have named them anything else and it'd still have worked.

We studied Rome (mostly the government and the legal system) in our first semester of College and it might be the student in me, but I kept wanting to see more of the government structure, the politcal system itself. In a book that dealt with law enforcement and figures in places of power, this was a part of the worldbuilding that felt lacking, and a wasted opportunity to expand on the Roman inspiration.

What gets me is that some interesting concepts could have been explored better. I kinda like the idea of the Asteri, the rifts, the summoning salts.

• HUMANITY'S PORTRAYAL. Ahahaha. Where do I even begin with this one? In KoA, I hated that Aelin loosing her human side was seen as such a big sacrifice when the Fae were repeatedly shown to be "superior": stronger, more beautiful, immortal, the list goes on. Aelin herself preferred the Fae-side, so it felt a completely pointless sacrifice. In Crescent City, it gets even worse. Humanity is oppressed, trying to fight for their freedom and their inherent rights as sentient beings, and the books keeps going on and on about the Vanir.

Forgive me, but I'm supposed to be sympathize with the Vanir? To see the Vanir main-characters go on and change the world and make it better for everyone? I'm sorry but I'm not here for that. Bryce's mother and stepfather and Briggs aside, the HoEaB could have definetely used a human PoV or just. You know. ONE THAT DOESN'T FAVOR THE VANIR IN EVERYTHING. So yeah, I'm here cheering for the humans.

• THE CHARACTERS. I like Ruhn. He read like a concerned older brother, I could relate to that, not a possessive alphahole and I was baffled when Bryce kept insisting that. Oh, he has his flaws, but overall, I like him and his friends. They're nice. Danika, too. I would have liked to see more of Juniper and Fury, and them together, instead of using their relationship as kind of a surprise. Hypaxia is another Yrene/Sorscha. I also liked Lehabah, she was a sweetheart (Also I'm sorry am I supposed to think Bryce witholding the news on her freedom to throw a party WASN'T a WTF move? That Lele just knew because she looked at the documents???)

Now, to our main duo. I found Hunt boring. Simple as that. There was nothing in him that I found captivating, nothing new in terms of SJM's Love Interests. How he kept sexualizing Bryce in the most inappropriate of moments pissed me off. His and Bryce's relationship felt to me as Rowaelin 2.0, just as they themselves read as another versions of them, and not very different ones. He is not supposed to be an "alphahole" but... I didn't feel it. Hunt felt as just more of the same.

Now, Bryce Adelaide Quinlan.. Is it so much to ask for a main character who isn't gorgeous, super special, and super-powerful? I get the appeal of the trope, I'm no so hypocritical as to say that I've not indulged in it myself, but with Sarah, it feels overdone. When all characters are beautiful, special, so powerful it... kinda loses its meaning. However, that's not what bothered me about Bryce, no, it's the fact that she could be read as PoC (Golden, Tanned skin, two very ambiguous terms. My white cousin gets golden skin when she stays too long outdoors ffs), and as a PoC myself, reading her into those situations bothered me so, so much I cannot even begin to tell you.

Her curvy, sensual, bug boobs and butts are easily one of the more sought after where I live. People would go to great lengths for such a body and no, it will not hinder your dancing career. We have a word for it roughly translates to Hot, but having men call you that as something laid out on a table for their pleasure, objectifying you is horrible. And that's what most characters do in HoEaB: sexualize Bryce again and again, playing into harmful stereotypes.

My skin crawled reading those passages. I felt uncomfortable. And it wasn't even just the nameless, countless side-characters: it was Hunt himself. Every single move Bryce made was sexualized and I hated, hated it. "She's a Queen who owns her body and doesn't care for anyone else's thoughts" is all well and good, but women like me already have the stereotype of whores, sluts, homewreckers, and it was handled in such a tone-deaf way that it touched ALL of my wrong buttons. It was just uncomfortable, and cringy.

Two and a half stars, like those bad movies we still watch god knows why.

[prokitty101]

002 Iceberg because why not uwu

Hohooo! My number 2 RWBY OTP! Alright, strap in boys and girls, mama gonna tell you why I love this ship.

When I started shipping them/My thoughts/What makes me happy about them: (I’ve clumped these bullet points together to make it easier and sound less repetitive) I’m gonna be honest with ya’ll. I couldn’t stand Neptune the first time around, because he came off as another “The cooler Daniel” meme. However, what truly sold me to the ship was Weiss’s feelings towards Neptune. 

She is known as the Ice Queen amongst her companions (And Roman lol) and it is expected of her to act like that from time to time. Neptune’s appearance was the beginning of the trope subversion. She doesn’t just harrumph at Neptune because he slightly did a better job at flirting than Jaune, no, she downright falls for him, HARD. And that is NOT a bad thing for her character. 

I am all for character subversions because it adds another palette dynamic to their personality. Yes yes, we see her tone her tsundereness down a notch towards Ruby earlier, but that’s different. It was so damn refreshing to see Weiss openly express her attraction to Neptune; someone who didn’t utter anything about her background being an Heiress to the Schnee Dust Company during their initial meeting. He saw her for her, not her money or title. (like Henry Marigold did.) 

I enjoyed watching the build-up between Weiss and Neptune. It’s small but their mutual attraction had always been around. It was natural and (free to tell me if I’m wrong) Neptune was the first person she met who was actually nice to her. Granted he also didn’t say anything to piss her off.

Weiss crushing on Neptune is great because it is one of the very few things she has complete control over without her family’s interference, especially father. It is something Weiss wants and can do, not what her daddy told her to do. Her mustering up the courage to ask Neptune out was so freaking rewarding to me. Weiss is incredibly sweet and cute, and it warms my heart knowing there was that special someone she could just completely gush over. 

After watching RWBY the second time around, Neptune’s character grew more and more to the point he is my #1 favourite character now. He’s balsy, a tease, flirtatious and get’s straight to the point with his words, but he’s also hilariously unaware of how stupid he sounds sometimes. I LOVE dumbasses like that. Although, Neptune is quite similar to Weiss in regards of having to mask his true self for arguably the entertainment of others. Weiss is known as the Ice Queen so she begrudgingly sticks with it. Neptune is the cool dude and he keeps it up.

You can probably argue I’m giving the ship too much credit or thinking to deep into it and you’re probably right. This is not me saying there were some stupid “coding” or subtleties you need to dive in and search for, it’s just me having this thought about Iceberg makes me really happy that it could’ve been more. (If that makes sense.)

What makes me sad about them: The refusal to develop the ship and Neptune as a whole. It really cuts me deep because there is clear potential in Neptune to be a valuable secondary member of the RWBY gang. Like how Sun is to Blake, Neptune could’ve been that to Weiss. BUT NO. It feels like the backlash Neptune had gotten after V2 - 3 stunted the idea of making the ship work.

I’ve been told there were a lot of Neptune/SSSN scenes cut out for team CFVY and that saddens me. Even the Neptune & Sun vs Pyrrha & Nora fight was cut. Apparently, there was going to be a part in the fight where Neptune had to take off his jacket and reveal his inflatable armbands, then Weiss would go into a laughing fit. COME ON THAT WOULD’VE BEEN SO FUNNY AND CUTE.

Also, people saying Neptune didn’t care for Weiss, especially because he was teasing Team NDGO. C’mon man, the dude was clearly joking. Y'all saw how the crowd reacted when team SSSN entered the grounds. What would’ve been damn disrespectful if Neptune had continuously teased the girls throughout the match, spouting a lot of sexist comments. Despite his obvious distraction during the match, he does take his fights seriously.

Yes, Weiss’s reaction was slightly justified but it’s just the typical “I wanna beat my crush’s his ass because he’s stupid and useless” gag in anime. He’s basically a blend of Yuu Kashima and Mikoto Mikoshiba from Nozaki-kun.

Then there’s the whole Dance conversation with Jaune and Neptune. Some of y’all are so quick to assume Neptune was objectifying Weiss with the “She’s all yours.” line while conveniently ignoring “I don’t want to get in your way.” line that immediately followed up. Look, he knows Jaune likes Weiss too and was willing to back out believing it was the right thing to do, but Jaune is the one encouraging Neptune to keep going after his blunder, understanding how much Neptune indeed likes Weiss. Brofist.

Neptune reappearing in V6 and contributing nothing again got on my nerves. That was a great moment for the writers to put in a small moment between him and Weiss after the Beacon incident, BUT NO. The fuckers only remembered he’s Sun’s friend. Seriously what the hell man. Are they trying to bury the fact the ship happened in the first place? Mean.

And to make things worse, you make him talk to Ilia? For gods sake WHY.

Another is saying Weiss is better off with Sun or Jaune because Neptune doesn’t deserve her. If that ain't the definition of objectification then I don’t know what is. Also, that weird reasoning of Weiss isn’t interested anymore because she had a gay awakening IS SUCH A DAMN REAAACH LMAO BITCH WHEREEE?

Iceberg is truly underrated.

Things done in fanfic that annoys me: You’ll be surprised to hear I don’t read a lot of Iceberg fanfiction. Just not in the mood right now. But I do hate the idea of fanfic writers amping up Neptune’s personality to make him seem like a complete douchebag. Yo, that title belongs to Henry Marigold. Quit mixing the two up, please.

Things I look in a fanfic: NEPTUNE AND WEISS BEING HAPPY WITH EACH OTHER, PLEASE. Or Weiss being a cute tsundere to Neptune. Just cute things!

My wishlist: Oh boy do I have whole buncha posts about that already.

Who I’d be comfortable them ending up with, if not each other: Okay, this is a little tricky. I don’t like Whiteknight BUT I can’t ignore there was some potential between them. Especially after the abomination that is volume 5. Weiss and Jaune could’ve easily had a meaningful conversation about her injury and how he saved her. It’s never brought up again and it baffles me.

As for Neptune? I don’t know. Seamonkeys is my top OTP of all time but holy fuck am I against it becoming a thing. So maybe like during the Vacuo collaboration of SSSN and CFVY, Velvet genuinely stars crushing on Nep and he is adorably oblivious to it.

My happily ever after for them: Ahhh you know what I didn’t really get that far lol, get back to me on that.

[duhragonball]

[FIC] Luffa: The Legendary Super Saiyan (116/?)

Disclaimer: This story features characters and concepts based on Dragon Ball, which is a trademark of Bird Studio/Shueisha and Toei Animation.   This is an unauthorized work, and no profit is being made on this work by me. This story is copyright of me. Download if you like, but please don’t archive it without my permission. Don’t be shy.

Continuity Note: About 1000 years before the events of Dragon Ball Z.

Previous chapters conveniently available here.

[12 March, 233 Before Age.  Ristet IV.]

Yesterday, Zatte had killed an alien invader, single-handedly liberating the  Ristet IV.     Unfortunately, her swift assassination left no clues about the invader's origins or intentions.     Her best guess was that he was simply an opportunist seeking to exploit the chaos of the Federation-Jindan War for the sake of looting.  His spaceship contained no useful data that would confirm or refute this theory.  

Nor did the jamming device he had set up in orbit around the planet.    With the invader dead, there was no one to stop Zatte from taking his own ship into orbit and using it to find the jammer.     Once this was done, she quickly radioed the Federation starfleet nearby and inform them that the situation was under control.

With that matter resolved, Zatte finally returned to her own vessel, the star-yacht Emerald Eye, to take care of one last responsibility.    She docked the invader's one-seat pod in the cargo bay, and met Dotz in her usual haunt, the observation deck.    Night had fallen at the spaceport where the Eye was undergoing repairs, and Dotz had shut off the interior lighting of the deck, leaving herself illuminated only by her collection of candles, and the starlight that shone through the transparent dome covering the deck.  Zatte entered, and sat cross-legged on the floor in front of Dotz.   She saw no point in any greeting or preamble, and simply started talking.

"So yeah, I had a vision once," she began.   "An epiphany.  It showed me that Luffa is destined to be an important part of the divine plan."

The fortune-teller nodded pleasantly and seemed to consider these words for longer than Zatte would have liked.    She was uncomfortable enough discussing such a personal experience out loud, and she doubted that any reaction from Dotz would put her at ease.    Even so, she felt Dotz had earned her respect, and she was determined to share this.

"One god, or many?" Dotz finally asked.  

"Huh?"

"Well, uh, I get a lot of clients who have religious experiences," she said.  "I find it helpful to know if we're talking about monotheism or polytheism before we discuss it."  She paused before adding:  "I'm sorry.  I didn't mean to make it sound like your experience was commonplace.  Um, it does happen to a lot of people, but that doesn't make your experience any less special."

"No, it's okay," Zatte said.  "I just never considered that before.  I'm so used to being on my own with this, that I never thought of comparing notes with anyone.  We... we call it Providence, and consider it uncountable."

"I see," Dotz said.  

"Luffa hates it when aliens compare her to supernatural figures, like angels or goddesses.  She feels like it dismisses her  accomplishments as a mortal warrior."

"I see that a lot too," Dotz said.  "A lot of powerful people struggle with the idea of fate, or a higher authority."

"I don't think of her like that.  I mean, she's sacred, but not divine," Zatte said.  

"What did you see?" Dotz asked.  "In your vision, I mean?    Did Providence speak to you?"

Zatte didn't answer right away.  Something about the way the older woman said "Providence" without really knowing what it meant.    It was respectful enough, but it still bothered her somehow.   "Maybe this is a bad idea.  I... I don't know if I should be talking about it."

"Oh.   You didn't hear a voice," Dotz said.  "It was more of a feeling, one that you recognized immediately."

Zatte was beginning to stand up when Dotz said this.    She knew Dotz had clairvoyant abilities, but somehow those abilities still had a way of catching her by surprise.  

"We don't have to talk about this if you don't want to," Dotz said.  "But I don't want to make you think that your experience doesn't count.  There's no rule that says you have to hear a voice, or see a certain thing."

Zatte sat back down and gathered the will to continue.  "Luffa saved me," she said.  Not in the vision, I mean.    She was saving me in real life when I had the vision.  I was... well it's a long story, but I was sick.  She purged that sickness from me with her powers.    And while she did, she managed to do the same for a lot of other people at the same time."

"From what I've seen, that sounds like a typical day for her," Dotz said.  "Not to diminish what she does, but..."

"This was different," Zatte said.  "At least, different for me.  As I recovered, I could feel her mind touching my own.  I understood what it was like for her.  Just... just this constant drive to fight and prove herself.  Like a surf pounding at the shore."

"Go on."

"Well, I just remember feeling so... restored.  I was finally myself again.  And she was doing something so good for the universe.  She was purging a great evil, and I don't think she even really knew how important that was.  It just pissed her off, so she struck back.  And something told me.  Not with words, really.  I just remembered thinking that this was the sort of thing she was meant to do.  And it felt so right to think of that that, like it was the truest thing I've ever known."

"And you still feel that way," Dotz surmised.    Zatte was nodding in agreement before she could even finish saying it.

"This war... well, I think it's the start of something big, like everything is coming to a head," Zatte said.   "I don't have any way to be sure, but she's beaten just about everyone else in the galaxy.    If she defeats Trismegistus and the Saiyans working for him, then there's no one left to oppose her.   I don't know what'll happen, but there's all these signs.   Her son, the Saiyan Free Company, they're all showing up to help her save their people.   And... well, you being here can't be a coincidence, right?"  

"Me?" Dotz asked.  

"Well, sure," Zatte said.   "You're like a prophet, bearing witness to whatever comes next.   It's got to mean something.   I'm sure of it."    

"I... I don't see how," Dotz said.   "My abilities changed after Luffa helped me out of that coma, but I still have a blind spot where her own future is concerned.    I still can't tell how her battle in the Fedender system is going."

"It'll work out," Zatte said.   "Somehow.   Why don't you try again?   We can't radio Fedender while their communications are being jammed, so for the time being, you're all we've got."

Zatte didn't like asking this of her.   It made it sound like she was admitting that she didn't trust Luffa to take care of herself.    And Dotz seemed to be frustrated with the "blind spot" in her abilities.    But they didn't have much else to do, and Dr. Topsas was away, and she still worried about Luffa, even if there was no need.  

With a heavy sigh, Dotz nodded, and began reshuffling her cards.  

*******

[12 March, 233 Before Age.  Nagaoka.]

It was something of a relief for Trismegistus to disrobe.  The heavy garment had its uses, but one of them was the dramatic impact it had when he took it off.    So many of his followers rarely got to see his face, and so it became something of an honor when he revealed it to them.    It was important to make even simple gestures like these take on a greater significance.   The cloak landed at his feet with a thud, thanks to the iridium weights sewn into the lining.   A minor touch, but one he enjoyed.

Behind him, Treekul stood at ease, awaiting his next command.    He felt a twinge of shame at the high priestess "costume" he had arranged for her.  Was it really necessary to objectify her in such a revealing outfit?  Probably not, though it kept her off-balance, and he did enjoy her figure, even if he found her lavender skin off-putting.    He often thought that she would look so much lovelier with a Saiyan complexion.   Perhaps he would alter her pigmentation someday, to suit his own aesthetic.  That thought also embarrassed him a little, but he didn't allow it to bother him.   Treekul belonged to him now.  She wasn't indoctrinated like the cultists, but that made no difference, since she was trapped on the planet with no way to survive except by his favor.    He would do with her as he saw fit, and for now, she served him best as a symbol of power to display before the others.

Before him, one of his newest followers, Lesseri, knelt before him in supplication.  She was like most Saiyans-- proud, stubborn, ambitious-- but those qualities made Saiyans very easy to control.  He had promised her great power, and in return, he had asked for her complete devotion.  It was an easy bargain for Saiyans like Lesseri.  They all craved more power, and they cared little for how they got it, or who they had to thank.  But once they got the power they craved, they always craved a little more, and that was when they would finally begin to have second thoughts about their choices.

"Rise, Faithful Lesseri," he finally said.  

"Thank you, my lord," she replied as she stood.  He hadn't given her permission to speak yet, but she was still new to the cult, and that lesson could wait for another time.  For now, it was best to teach her about matters that already held her attention.

"What troubles you, child?" he asked.  He addressed them all this way, even the ones who were older than himself.    It was important to condition them to think of him as their superior in every sense.

"I... well, I think there was something wrong with my initiation rites, sir."

The reluctance in her voice was music to his ears.  She had only just joined his flock, and she was already unsure about defying him.  Oh, she had been very vocal about her complaints in private, or rather, what she assumed was privacy.  But now that she stood face to face with him, she was much more careful with her words.  She would make a fine servant.

"Something wrong with the initiation rites?" he asked.  "Why do you say that, child?  You fasted for three days, didn't you?"

"Yes."

"You drank the elixir, I prepared for you, didn't you?"

"Yes, sir."

"You observed all of the other sacred rites.  The garland, the linen belt, the oath of the yoke."

"Yes, sir."

"And you have become stronger than you were before you came to me.   You feel it, don't you?"  Trismegistus asked.

"Very much, my lord," Lesseri said.  "But..."

"But it's not enough," he said, anticipating her next words.  "Is it?"  

"I, er, don't mean to seem ungrateful, sir..."

"Why do you feel cheated, Lesseri?" he asked.   There was no anger or hurt in his voice.    He spoke kindly and patiently, as if the implied accusation in her words did not exist.  "You may speak freely.  In fact, I command it."

She hesitated, then said: "Guwar, sir.  He was weaker than me before we joined you.  Now he and I both have the Jindan power, and he's stronger than I am."

"Oh?" he said.  "And what of it?"

"You gave him more power than you gave me!" Lesseri said.  "It isn't fair!"  She had tried to be obeisant and respectful, but now her frustration and outrage began to well up inside her.   She believed he was playing dumb with her, and she was right.   It wasn't fair.   The lesson she needed to learn had nothing to do with fairness.    

"Let's say you're right," Trismegistus said.   "What do you plan to do about it?"

Her building defiance suddenly melted away.   Lesseri took a step back from him, as though the question itself had physically shoved her.    

"Well?" he asked.   "I did order you to speak your mind, Lesseri.   Speak."

He enjoyed making them squirm like this.   Saiyans like Lesseri thought they would do anything for greater strength, but 'anything' included far, far more than they ever bothered to consider.  

"I... I only want what you promised me--" Lesseri said slowly.

"No," Trismegistus said.   "You gave yourself to me, Lesseri, and I gave you Jindan in return.  As far as I'm concerned, our transaction is concluded.   What you're asking for now is to be stronger than Guwar.   And I could make you stronger, but you have nothing else to bargain with.   Everything you have, everything you are, is mine.   Guwar is mine.    I owe you nothing.   So I'll ask again: what are you going to do about it?"

He looked at Treekul while he waited for Lesseri to come up with an answer.     "What do you think, Treekul?" he asked idly.  

The alien woman rubbed the back of her buzzcut and smiled uneasily.    "Well, she could always quit the cult, right?" Treekul said.    

"Yes, she could.   You both saw what happened to Salziff when he left my flock," Trismegistus said.    "Jindan exacts a tremendous price.   Allow me to demonstrate."

Lesseri suddenly collapsed, and a red aura glowed faintly around her body.    

"No!" she moaned.    "I didn't mean--!   I never wanted--!"

"Unlike you, dear Treekul," he said, "Lesseri is free to leave us at any time.   However, if she goes, she won't get to take the Jindan power with her."

"You can remove it at will?" Treekul asked.   She stepped forward to help Lesseri, then thought better of it.    The two women had been allies for a time, and it pleased Trismegistus to separate them this way.  Treekul's best chance to survive was to at play along with the role he had laid out for her.    She would eventually seek an opportunity to escape, but first she had to earn his trust, which meant that she couldn't squander it by defying him openly.    That was the alien's hope, but it was hollow.   The fact was that Trismegistus would never trust her, no matter what she did or didn't do.    But he would string her along, and make her think her plan was working, and she would continue to obey him, waiting for a chance that would never come.  As for Lesseri...

"The Jindan elixir binds the user's ki with my own," he explained.    "Increasing their power is a somewhat complicated operation, but taking it away?   For me, it is as simple as contracting a muscle.   But it's not as simple as filling a cup with fresh wine.    A little of the user's ki is mingled in the process, and so when I rescind my gift, the subject always ends up weaker than when she began."

As he said this, the red aura vanished from Lesseri's body, and she looked at her open palms in abject horror.   "No!" she gasped.  

"Take heart, Lesseri," Trismegistus said.   "You're still stronger than Guwar was before he accepted the Jindan power.   That must be of some consolation to you."

"Please!" she begged.   "I never said I wanted to leave you!    I only wanted to be stronger!"

Trismegistus made a cruel smile.    "I have no intention of driving you out," he said.    "I will return what I have taken from you, Lesseri... tomorrow, I think.   That will give you time to reconsider things.    And you'll have to prepare for the initiation rites again."

Lesseri made an audible gulp.   "Again?" she asked in a small voice.

"I'm afraid restoring Jindan to you isn't as easy as taking it away," Trismegistus said.   "At least you won't have to repeat the Crucible.   Others have not been so fortunate."

Lesseri began to weep softly.    As she did, he turned to Treekul and addressed her.

"Tell me, Treekul.   What question should Lesseri have asked me?"

Treekul considered this for a moment, and then shrugged her shoulders.  "I'm not sure," she admitted, "but I'm curious about why Guwar got more from the same dose of Jindan elixir.  Does it depend on the person, or is that something you can control?"

"Very good, my priestess," he said.  "Lesseri can learn a great deal from you already.  The problem is that she has a lot to unlearn as well."

"So this is some kind of ideological thing," Treekul guessed.  "Guwar was favored because he had greater faith, or because he was worthier in some way."

"It's more complicated than that," Trismegistus said.  He looked down at Lesseri, who was still cowering at his feet.  "Up on your feet, my child.  You're weakened, but you have enough strength to stand, don't you?"  He waited for her to rise before he continued.  "I need the Saiyans, Treekul.  I need them as much as they need me.  With each one who joins my fold and receives my sacrament, I grow stronger.  In return, I give them strength, purpose, and order."

He walked around the spot where Lesseri stood, and when he was close enough, he reached out and seized her tail in his hand.  Lesseri winced with pain, but didn't move.

"You know that a Saiyan's tail is their weak point," he said.

"I've heard," Treekul said.  "But I've also heard most Saiyans train their tails to overcome that problem."

"That's right," he said.  "Lesseri is a fine example.  If she hadn't rigorously trained herself, she would be overcome with agony right now.  Left untrained, simple squeeze of my hand would make her helpless, but instead I can only make her uncomfortable.  But why should she have a tail at all?"

"The great ape transformation," Treekul said.  "I've never seen it, but I hear Saiyans can increase their power dramatically that way."

"That only works under the light of the full moon,"  he said, "and even then, it's a liability.  Most Saiyans lose all control of themselves in the Oozaru form.  Even the ones who don't must still be careful, because if an enemy attacks their tail, it could undo the transformation."

"I know some Saiyans cut their tails off," Treekul said.  "Including a lot of the ones here."

"Yes, and they are the ones who demonstrate true wisdom," Trismegistus said.  "So many Saiyans revere their tails, foolishly attempting to justify a vestigial organ.  They let a quirk of biology decide their strengths and weaknesses, rather than taking control of their own destinies.  Lesseri has accepted the path of wisdom already.  By accepting Jindan, she has rejected the limitations of her own body.  One day, we shall hold a ceremony, and she will cut off her own tail, proving once and for all her willingness to cast off her bodily weaknesses."

"Okay," Treekul said, "But Guwar still has his tail, at least for now.  What puts him ahead of Lesseri?"

"Guwar has kept his tail out of ignorance and complacency," Trismegistus explained.  "Other Saiyans choose to keep them, out of a misplaced sense of pride.  They have been taught by false teachers, who fill their heads with heretical nonsense.  That is what sets Lesseri apart.  That is the true weakness she must cast off.  There are many Saiyans afflicted by this corruption, but Lesseri more than most."

"I... I don't know what you're talking about!" Lesseri finally exclaimed.    He smiled at the desperation in her voice.    "My mother abandoned me to a gestation facility before I was born!  I grew up alone!  What false teacher--?"

Trismegistus grabbed her by the face, silencing her as harshly as possible.  "I speak of the antiprophet herself!" he shouted.  "The un-Saiyan, the Queen of Lies!  Or do you deny training with Luffa herself?"

The look in her terrified eyes was priceless.  Trismegistus lacked the power to read minds, but he knew enough to be assured that Lesseri would now be his forever.   She had been "hiding" this secret from him the whole time, worried that if the truth were revealed, that it would ruin her standing here.   But he had known all along.   He would never tell her how he knew.   Best to let her imagination fill in the blank for him.    She would assume he could see her thoughts, or that Treekul had betrayed her, or that she had given herself away somehow.

"Hold on," Treekul said.  "Lesseri hates Luffa.  I mean, sure, she told me once about how she trained with her, but she found the whole thing to be a waste of time, so she quit."

"Of course she did," Trismegistus said.  "Even the lost can recognize true evil when they encounter it.  Lesseri forsook the wicked, and with your guidance, Treekul, she found the divine.  That is to her credit, but her debt must still be paid.  The stain of Luffa must still be cleansed."

"Then... then it's not too late for me?"  Lesseri asked when he released her.  He could practically smell the fear coming from her.  She could not leave the cult, and so her only way forward was to embrace it as completely as she could, in the hopes of being deemed 'worthy'.  As with Treekul, Lesseri's goal was unreachable.  He would lead her towards it, offering her chances to redeem herself, but she could she ever truly be rid of the "sin" of her past association with Luffa.

"It's never too late for anyone, Lesseri," he assured her.   "But your path will be very different from Guwar's.    Much will be asked of you, and-- for a time-- you will receive little in return.   One day, you will be rewarded in full, but first we must purge you of Luffa's corruption, this sense of entitlement you have.   Luffa would have us all believe that power is a Saiyan's birthright, to be claimed through perseverance.   You cannot win supreme power by your own merit, Lesseri.   Compassion, collateral, shrewd negotiation, none of it matters.   It can only be received from higher power.   My power.    You intuited this when you first decided to seek me out.    Now, we must teach your conscious mind to understand the great truth you have discovered."

"H-how do I start?" Lesseri asked.    

Trismegistus stroked his chin for a moment as he pretended to consider the matter.   Then he gave Treekul an expectant look.  

"Um... well, if you're asking me," Treekul said with a start, "I'm new to this, but maybe some manual labor?   Yeah, nothing like some mindlessly repetitive tasks to, uh, cleanse the spirit."

"Very good," Trismegistus said.    "The breeding pits are always in need of cleaning."    He patted Lesseri on the shoulder and smiled warmly at her.     "One of the deacons will help you get started."

There was something in Lesseri's eyes that betrayed a hint of resentment, but her grateful smile marked the progress he had made.   It would take time to break Lesseri to his will, but the important thing was that he had set the terms.    She now understood that she had to mold herself to his expectations, instead of the reverse.   "Thank you, my lord," she said.    "I won't disappoint you."

"Of course not," he said.  "Now go, and let my triple-blessing fall upon your task."

Lesseri lowered her head respectfully, and after she had withdrawn from the chamber, Trismegistus turned to Treekul and chuckled.    

"Breeding pits?" Treekul asked.    "Is that what I think it is?"

"As I told you," he said.    "I need the  Saiyans as much as they need me.   Not only this generation, but the next, and the one after that.    I have facilities here on Nagaoka for incubating their progeny, and breeding partners are selected through genetic screening, but when it comes to the copulation, well--" he stepped toward her and put his arm around her waist to pull her closer.  "--sometimes the old-fashioned ways are the best."

"Yeah... but Saiyans are really uptight about that stuff," Treekul observed.  "You mean you just order them to pair off and cuddle up in some public space?"

She kept glancing down at his arm, which amused him.   She didn't like when he touched her, but she knew better than to object.   After all, the little fool needed to gain his confidence, didn't she?  

"The Saiyans have always been a prudish race," he explained.  "The breeding pits serve as a way to de-stigmatize their mating habits, and to ensure that no one shirks their duties."

"Just another way to keep them in line, isn't it?   The ones who object get singled out and punished just like Lesseri, don't they?" she asked.  

"Absolutely," he said.   "You learn quickly, my dear.   But enough of this.   I have several more alchemical lessons for you today.   Lesseri and her kind can wait for another day."  

He loosened his grip on her, only to take her by the arm instead.   As he led her to his apparatus, she resisted him with a tug.    

"Hold on," she said.   "What about Guwar?   You kept saying how exceptional he's been, but I haven't seen him since I got here."

He looked back at her with a smirk.   "I'm sure you'll see him in time, Treekul," he replied.  "Though I would remind you that the breeding pits are off-limits to non-Saiyans."

He turned and led her onward, unconcerned with how she reacted to this statement.   He suspected that she had feelings towards the Guwar, or perhaps the reverse, or perhaps neither.    The point was not to correctly guess what she was thinking, but to make her question her own thoughts, and to cloak himself with an fog of inscrutability, so that no one could be sure what he could do or not do.  

That was the key to true power, and why he so enjoyed the chance to disrobe.   He left his cloak where it lay.   Someone would fetch it for him, and consider the chore to be a tremendous honor.  

*******

[12 March, 233 Before Age.  Ristet IV.]

"The seven of knives, twelve of horses.  The black hole.  The bishop.  The nine of lances."

"What does all that mean?" Zatte asked as she looked at the cards Dotz had drawn.  

"Absolutely nothing," Dotz said.  "Well not nothing, but it's all jumbled.  Contradictory."

"I don't understand," Zatte said.

Dotz placed her fingertip on one of the cards lying face up on the table.  "This one tells me she's going on a journey very soon.  But the others indicate that she won't.  This one says she's going to die.  And this one means that she'll live a very long life."

"I would have thought that there was a consistent prediction for every possible combination of cards," Zatte said.    "Otherwise, what's the point?"

"There should be, but... well, I apply my own sensibilities when I do a reading," Dotz explained.  

Zatte noticed her tone was even more apologetic than usual.     She found it ironic that Luffa, the mightiest Saiyan of her age, had developed such a fast respect for this meek and unassuming middle-aged woman.    "The strictest interpretation of this hand is that Luffa is a very passionate person who will be experiencing a great challenge soon.  Well, pardon my saying so, but that just doesn't tell us very much at all."

"No, I suppose it doesn't tell us a whole lot," Zatte said, "but your own interpretation doesn't make sense."

"It's worse than that," Dotz continued.    She looked down at the cards scattered on the table.  "I've done a dozen readings for her, and they all end up like this.  Sometimes she meets an important man, either a stranger, or a close relative.    Sometimes she fights him.    Sometimes she receives instructions from heaven.  Other times it's like she ceases to exist.   I hoped that the cards would give me better insight, but I'm no better off than before."

"I'm sorry," Zatte said. "I wish I could help."

"It's not all bad,  I suppose.  Working on her fortune has forced me to improve my technique.  I'm no closer to reading Luffa's future, but I'm a lot more confident in predicting others."

"If that's an offer, the answer is still no," Zatte said.  "My place is beside her.  If her path is unknown, then mine should be the same."

"Of course," Dotz said. "I only meant that I could get a better reading on the next attack."

"What about the enemy's base of operations?" Zatte asked.  "These cultists keep popping up from out of nowhere.   From what I hear, Federation intelligence can only suggest that they're using cloaked ships or low-power runnings to approach undetected.    Every time we beat a few, there's always more to replace them.   If we don't find out where they're coming from, we may never stop them."

"The answer will come to us," Dotz said.  "The path of the traitor will show the way."

"A traitor?" Zatte asked.  "From our side or theirs?"

"I can't tell," Dotz said.  "I-I'm sorry.  I know there's a lot at stake, but some events are to fluid to predict."

"Don't apologize," Zatte said.  "If this is how your ability works, I'll just have to get used to it."

"I'll try again," Dotz assured her.     "Sometimes, things improve after a few hours, as we get closer to the answer.     I'll do whatever I can to get some more solid information for you."

"What about Xibuyas' fortune?" Zatte asked.  "Can you read anything about him?"

Dotz leaned back in her seat and closed her eyes.  "His is a difficult path," she began.  "He will hold many levers of power, but the ones he'll actually turn will be very few."

Zatte shrugged.  "I don't know what to make of that," she said.    "Are you saying he won't prosper?"

"Not long enough to truly enjoy the rewards of his work," Dotz said.  "He sows the seeds and he tills the field, but others will eat the crop."

Zatte couldn't help but smile.   Her stepson despised Luffa, and he seemed to hate Zatte almost as much, so he probably wouldn't have appreciated the sentiment of it.    Among her own people, the Dorluns, a fate like the one Dotz just described would be very satisfying indeed.   She made a mental note to say a prayer for the boy.

"What about Fedender itself?" she suggested.    "If you can't see how Luffa's doing, maybe the planet's status is easier to read."

"Oh, that's a good idea," Dotz said.    She concentrated for several minutes, or at least Zatte assumed it was concentration, since she had no idea how Dotz did what she did.    Eventually she dealt another hand from her deck of cards, and then--

"The battle is over," Dotz said.  

"Over?" Zatte asked.   "Then why hasn't there been any word?"

Dotz grimaced as though asking the same question to whatever unseen force gave her those kinds of answers.   "I'm not sure.   The damage was extensive.    Maybe they can't restore communications, even with the enemy gone."

"Then we won?" Zatte asked.   "Are the cultists definitely off the planet?"

Dotz hesitated before replying.   "Yes," she said.    "Yes, I'm sure of it now.    They're gone, but... but they'll be coming back.   Which means Luffa will have to return there as well."  

"I don't get it," Zatte said.   "How can she return to Fedender if she hasn't even left yet?"

"She's not there anymore," Dotz said.   "I can see a woman.   One of Fedender's leaders, I imagine.    An authority figure, that much is certain.    She's watching a ship take off, and she's begging Luffa to stay."

"That doesn't make any sense," Zatte said.    "If she were headed back here, I'd have already picked her up on the long-range sensors.    And if she's not staying put on Fedender, we should have heard from some other Federation planet by now, one that's under attack and needs her help.    Where could she be going?"

"And what will happen to Fedender," Dotz asked as she slowly opened her eyes, "if Luffa doesn't return in time to help them?"

NEXT: Luffa vs. Trismegistus.

[fanfictionized]

The Hating Game - Beautiful Bastard (1)

Characters: Lance Tucker x Latina!OFC

Chapter Summary: The Reader comes by to pick up her sister from practice and gets another dirty comment from Lance. She fucking hates his guts, but why is that also making him so much more attractive?

Warnings: Flirting (Dirty talk), Lance being an objectifying asshole but hey, what else is new?

Words: 2k

The Hating Game - Masterlist // Main Masterlist

He was running his hand through his hair in exhaustion.

Another child prodigy lost to the pressure of their parents’ expectations.

To be honest, he didn’t even know what the hell they were complaining about…

They had come to him in the first place asking to train her and now they were just too dissatisfied with how their little girl didn’t turn out to be?

Sorry, not his fault.

Some people were born for greatness. She just hadn’t been one of them.

And after having said it so bluntly they decided to pull her out of his gymnastics training because “Here she wouldn’t achieve any greatness anyway” and dragged their crying daughter behind them and out of the gym.

They had been hoping for their daughter to bring them success and pride because apparently her parents had failed to do that themselves, leaving her to balance their burden on her shoulders.

Poor kid.

He was a gold and silver medalist, so no wonder they had looked for his help.

But it’s just the way it is sometimes.

Some people weren’t made for greatness.

Except maybe this one girl he trained, the one with the incredibly hot older sister who always picked her up after a session.

God, she was so freaking hot. It was almost sad that seeing her had become the highlight of each of his days.

Because every time she opened her mouth it was some sort of Spanish curse word being flung at his head for staring at her ass or something.

And there was nothing that’d get his dick harder anymore.

Fucking pathetic.

But anyway, her little sister really was a big shot when it came to gymnastics.

“So tell me” He started, beginning to wrap up her session for today.

“What’s the deal with your sister, Ana?” He smirked at her, suppressing licking his lip at the mere thought of her.

She raised her brows at him judgingly, eyeing him up and down.

“Stop trying, Tucker. You’re not her type.” The girl said with a final swing from the gymnastics bar, landing on the mat elegantly with a huff, offering a taunting curtsy before grabbing her towel and heading for the changing room.

“Hey, what- whaddaya mean by that?” He stumbled after her before she slammed the door shut in front of his face, making him curse out loud as he had basically run into it.

He heard a mocking snicker coming from his left as he rubbed his forehead, his head snapping to where the sound had come from before a (truly involuntary) smile spread over his face, pain fading altogether at the sight of her.

She knew she regretted having let out that laugh the second he turned to face her, that smug grin on his face that told her, really anyone who took a good look at him, that there were some pretty sinful thoughts lingering behind that playful smirk.

Hell, why hadn’t she stayed in the car in the first place?

She’d brought this onto herself. Now she had to deal with this persistent son of a bitch with the tongue of the devil.

Truly every word coming out of his pretty mouth made her blush furiously, but admittedly he could even make the most uptight nun go red at the unholy speech leaving his lips.

Not her fault she reacted this way. It was just the way he was wired.

Not like she gave a shit, that man was the definition of a playboy. Look him up in the dictionary, picture of him right fucking there.

El fucking diablo.

“Hey there, sweetcheeks.” He purred as he strutted over to her, making her roll her eyes so hard that for one second she was afraid they’d be stuck inside her skull like that.

She scoffed, turned around, then turned back to him again because she knew that once she’d turn, his eyes would be glued to her ass.

Last time she’d picked Ana up from practice she’d felt his gaze lingering on her butt for days, making her spine tingle and a shiver run through her every time she thought of it. He had already found himself a home inside her head, that manipulative asshole. She truly hated him for making her weak like that. Because she knew exactly that she’d never even bother to think of a flirt any more than a whole ten seconds.

But after weeks, hell, months of this going on like that, seeing him at least twice a week and having his voice linger in the back of her head like an obtrusive earworm she should feel like she’d had enough. So the logical conclusion for her was to go and wait in the car.

And yet she didn’t. Again.

Why was that?

“Calm your tits, Tucker. Go and harass another soccer mom.” She muttered angrily, crossing her arms over her chest and unfortunately it let her boobs emerge from her cleavage, standing out prominently on her chest, captured only by the strength of her bra and the tightly fitting tank top she wore above that.

His eyes were immediately glued to them.

“I’d love to calm yours, you know.” He mumbled, inching closer until she could smell his ridiculously strong cologne.

What was this, Douche Canoe by Paco Rabanne?

He leaned forward to whisper close to her ear, her entire frame tensing up as he did.

“I bet I’d make you cum so hard just playing with those pretty tits of yours.” Her eyes went almost comically wide, swallowing so hard, he heard her gulp down the surprise and the probable insult that came with it, getting stuck in her throat at hearing his filthy words.

It was almost like he knew exactly which buttons to push to make her insecure and nervy like a fucking teenager. She didn’t like the power it gave him.

He pulled back to smirk down at her shocked expression, eyeing her mouth that hung open in disbelief and her perfectly plump lips which formed a pout.

He didn’t miss the way her cheeks were heating up either.

And she thought about making his shiny red as well. When the imprint of her hand would manifest on his skin after giving him the slap of the century on his irritatingly handsome face.

Her heartbeat rung in her ears.

“An-” She started, having to clear her voice because it had gotten too shaky to whisper or talk normally so instead she had to rely on shouting.

“Ana!” She yelled while Lance was still watching her closely, his gaze never wavering, never off her face and she felt the burning tension between them rise to an almost uncomfortable level so she stepped backwards, taking big steps around him like he had some contagious disease and storming forward towards the ladies’ changing room.

She didn’t care anymore if he stared at her ass.

But the thought did send an over-excited tingle down her spine.

“Ana! Are you ready?” She shouted and she was just about to rip the door out of its hinges before it flew open and revealed a moody Ana, shaking her head at her sister, seemingly irritated.

“What?” She hissed before her sister grabbed her hand, pulling her after her and towards the exit, but not before sending Lance Tucker the about deadliest glare he’d ever seen, making him chuckle before she was out the door, hearing her hissing curses in the foreign language he couldn’t understand, but miraculously made his dick achingly hard.

.

.

.

She shifted in her seat while driving, not getting those stupid man’s words out of her head.

She was boiling with rage, her heart thrumming, her skin boiling and… her core pulsing…

She clicked her tongue angrily while she shook her head almost aggressively.

Why did he always need to be stuck up inside there?

Why couldn’t she just not care about him? Or his words? Or what they did to her?

Oh, he knew exactly what he did to her. And it was pissing her off even more.

Her pride remained untouched. She couldn’t bare giving in to that smug bastard.

She simply couldn’t.

“Ay” She hissed as she drove them into the driveway, hitting their garbage can on the way in and making her spit out some more curse words. Their car was a garbage can anyways so what the hell.

“God” Ana mumbled before she could finally get out of the car, not enjoying their shared car rides anymore since the atmosphere in the small space had gotten so tensed up, she’d positively say she’d suffocate the next time her sister picked her up from practice.

And she knew that one certain trainer could potentially be the reason for that.

“Hey” Her big sister stopped her from getting into the house before her, grabbing her by the arm and looking at her earnestly.

“He doesn’t talk to you…” She sighed, looking into the sky “Inappropriately?” She raised her eyebrows at her pleadingly “Or touching you…?”

“Ew, oh my god, no. Trust me, he’s all yours.” Ana scoffed before heading inside, her sister following her.

“You know that’s not what I mean.” She said with this whiny voice.

“Please, you need to tell me if- “

“Lucia” Her little sister warned her, turning around and raising her little finger at her.

“He doesn’t touch me. He doesn’t flirt with me. He’s a really good Coach though. So please, don’t make this weird for me, okay?” She rolled her eyes before turning to walk into her room.

“Making this weird…” Lucia muttered under her breath, brows knitting in confusion before she followed her “What do you mean with weird?” She yelled, seeing her little sister fall onto her bed.

She just sighed like she knew her sister knew the answers all along.

“I don’t know. Every time you see him you get super angry all the time and let it out on me. I’m the one having to deal with you eating tons of Chocolate because you’re frustrated because of whatever he’s telling you but still-” She shook her head, taking a deep breath before continuing.

“You come in to talk with him every. Damn. Time.”

Lucia just stood there for a second, mouth hanging open for the second time that day, speechless because her sister had just hit her with the painful truth.

“Well…” She stammered, not really finding the words to fight back.

“He’s the one talking to me and I never say anything in return, so…” She shrugged almost innocently, crossing her arms as she pouted, but Ana only scoffed.

“Okay, tell me when you’re done lying to yourself. I’m gonna take a shower.” She rolled her eyes before going past her, leaving her stunned and still prominently blushing sister standing alone in her room.

Her sister was right.

Barely twelve fucking years old but she was damn right.

She’d have to look into that, if even she could see how obvious she was she didn’t want to know how much Tucker saw of that. He could probably read her like a book by now.

She couldn’t possibly be into Lance Tucker. She wasn’t. And she couldn’t.

Boys like him had fucked up her entire love life for her, leaving her scared to try for anyone else because of what they did to her, how they’ve treated her…

She wouldn’t go through that again. Even though he was pretty charming. And a mistake.

That was really what lured her in, made him so tempting.

But that’s all there was to him.

And she’d have to fix her own problematic feelings for him before she’d take a look at her sister’s attitude next.

.

.

.

A/N: So... it’s been a while. 

Anyways, tag list is open if you want to be added. 

[buckysforeverprincess]

Switch -Part 2

Bucky Barnes x Reader, Avengers

Words: 2097

Warnings: Language, female presenting nipples, sexual situations

A/N: I decided to make this a 3 part thing, because part 2 was extremely long and I wanted this to have it’s own moment. The smut comes in part 3. Enjoy.

No one knew what to say. Everything screamed Y/N! The voice, the body all of it. Nothing outwardly had changed. Steve and Sam just thought Y/N had gone crazy, and Wanda and Nat both crossed their arms and smirked. You decided to take a seat on the counter and wait for the fireworks to really begin.  

“Morning all-what the hell, Y/N?!” Tony has finally made his way to the common area to join everyone for breakfast. He missed the initial scream but is now here for the show that is the now ‘The Winter Soldier: Body Snatcher’. “Have too much fun with the playboy last night and forget your clothes?!” The genius goes straight for the coffee maker deciding he needed more of it before having to deal with the events unfolding in the kitchen.  

“Morning Barnes!” Tony gives a casual nod to you sitting on the counter. You take a sip of the liquid in the cup, and immediately Tony notices something is off.

“Since when do you drink coffee, ice king...and in Y/N’s cup, no less?”

The only thing you can do is shrug and wait for the others to catch on.

“You!” Bucky turns his direction to the Scarlet Witch, “you did this to me, didn't you?!” Bucky's in her face at this point, but it's not as intimidating as it would be if he was in his super soldier body. She can't help but laugh at his efforts.

“I have no idea what you're talking about!” Wanda laughs in his face, repeating the same words he has said to her many times after playing one of his jokes on her.

“Don't lie to me you witch! This is payback for yesterday isn't it?”  

“Wait…” Sam stops Wanda from answering, having questions of his own, “Y/N...what could she have possibly done to you? I mean...did she make you hotter? Because damn girl! That ass though!!”

“Did you just fucking objectify my girlfriends body?” Bucky moves and is now in Sam’s face pointing a finger at him.

“I mean-you are, ya know wearing a thong and I'm a man that loves ass dimples!”

Steve has now started laughing hysterically and has doubled over from laughing so hard. Tony makes his way from the coffee to check out the look Bucky is sporting so he's not left out.

“Those are really nice. Perfect for hand placement-”

“Don't fucking finish that thought, tin man, so help me God!” Bucky has directed his finger Tony’s way.

The whole group is laughing sans Bucky. He's getting more and more pissed off with each passing moment, and you're just sitting there…on the counter, enjoying your coffee. No need to get involved quite yet. This is way too much fun.

“Someone needs to explain what the hell is going on!” Bucky demands, crossing his arms to his chest and covering your exposed breasts, standing like a petulant child. Thank god you don't have issues with your body, because this could've become awkward real fast.

“Y/N…why don't you tell us what it is you remember.” Nat says very calmly, not giving away how much she already knows.  

Bucky scans the room taking in all the faces looking at him obviously thinking he was crazy, before he starts to recant what he can recall. “I remember going to bed with Y/N, in my body! James Buchanan Barnes, aka Winter Soldier, me! This morning, I wake up and I'm her! This is not my body!” He pointing to himself trying to emphasize the point.  

“Definitely a nice ass body!” Sam says, and Steve gives him an elbow to the gut.

“So, someone switched your body?” Steve questions, not sure if he believes what he's hearing.

They've been pranked by Bucky too many times to count, so this could be just another of one his tricks having his girlfriend in on it. There's going to have to be a lot more convincing than just his word.

“Ugh! I don't understand how I'm in a room full of people who continually save the world, but all of you are way too fucking stupid to see what's in front of you!”

You bust out laughing like a damn hyena from the counter. Everyone has now directed their looks to you and Wanda does a faceplant with her hand. Everything had been going so well.

“Baby, do you realize what you just said?” You say in between laughs. “You're what's in front of them...you! They can clearly see you!”  

If looks could kill, you'd be dead. James/you is glaring hard at you/him. He has your face so bunched up, you're pretty sure he's going to give you permanent wrinkles on your forehead.

Bucky stalks up to you, paying no mind to everyone else in the room. “You're being unsarcastically hyper nonverbal!” He yells at you with fire in his eyes. “What is it that you know?”

This is where the fun begins, and payback becomes the worst bitch imaginable. You hop off the counter and stand over Bucky. You can see what it looks like when roles are reversed and he's towering over you. Let the games commence.

“Well, I know that right now…your tits are showing because you chose to wear that ridiculous quarter of a shirt to bed. I'm also aware of the fact that Sam had begun sexualizing you since the moment he saw you in that thong. How did you seriously let me buy that for you, you hate thongs?! But I will agree with him...that ASS though! The suddenness of the amount of crazy you've displayed here this morning can only mean one thing…...you're due to start your period any second now. I'm sorry sweetie, I'll make sure I run out and get your favorite kind of ice cream. Other than that,…good morning my love. Coffee?” You give him a grin, but this just upsets him even more.

Bucky laughs at you, but there's an intense amount of anger in his eyes. You watch him continue to laugh as he walks over to Wanda and gets back in her face.

“I don't know what you did, but it somehow involved my girlfriend over there!” Bucky’s pointing at you now. “I will find out the truth…but for now...I really have to go pee!”

Bucky turns and stomps back to your room.

“Sweetheart!” You yell out before he makes it through the threshold, making him stop and look over his shoulder waiting for you to speak. “Always overnight or extra heavy? Oh, how about tampons this time, I can get those?”

Bucky inhales a deep breath and throws up a middle finger at you without even batting an eye, and continues into the bedroom, slamming the door behind him.

“So, spill ice age...what'd you do to our sweet Y/N?” Tony’s grabbed a bagel and is spreading cream cheese on it.

“I really have no idea what's going on!” You're trying to look as puzzled as possible to avoid further questioning.

“I hate to admit this, but I have to go with Tony on this one…,” Sam has made his way into the center of the kitchen, pouring himself a glass of juice, “you're both acting crazy this morning. Did something happen between you two?”

The door to the bedroom opens and once again Bucky/you comes out, but this time he's managed to find your extremely short black mini skirt, and blue midriff shirt. Oh, looks like he found a bra…but what about...oh you dirty asshole!  

“Baby?” Bucky walks over and places his/your ass right up against the shorts he slept in last night and rubs himself up and down the front of you. “I'm so sorry for the way I behaved.” His movements becoming hotter by the second. “I didn't mean to cause a scene. I promise to do better daddy!”

The last words were all it took, and you were now fully turned on, Bucky's cock standing at attention. How in the fuck did that happen? God damn him for being an expert in kinky fuckery!

“Oh daddy…did I do that?!” Bucky turns around and faces you, taking his hand and rubbing the hard member through your shorts.

“Fuck…” It comes out as a whisper, but Bucky hears it and keeps rubbing you with his hands.  

No one was moving. They're all stuck in place watching what's happening between the two of you. Normally, you guys would disappear at this point, so no one was traumatized by your actions, but today Bucky didn't care and everyone else was fully intent on watching the show Bucky was attempting to put on. Well played, asshole…well played.  

“Let me take care of you…”

Bucky reaches into the shorts and starts rubbing your hand on his cock. You close your eyes and a shiver runs through your body. The hand on what is now your dick feels so fucking good. You’re pretty sure Bucky’s trying to get you to come in front of everyone, and that has your brain come back to reality.

“Sweetie, what are you doing? This is bedroom activity, you know that.”

Bucky stops suddenly and begins glaring at you. He lets out a huff and removes his hand from your shorts. Bucky starts to walk away again but stops right at the threshold of your room just like before. This time, Bucky/you turns around and faces the entire group. He looks directly at you and gives you a huge smirk.

“Should’ve known you wouldn't cave that easy. I know you’re aware what’s going on, so….” Bucky pauses and lifts the midriff over his head and undoes the bra, exposing your breasts to every single person in the room.

“F.R.I.D.A.Y. Record this!” Tony demands of the A.I., while Steve covers his eyes, and Sam crosses his arms and nods in approval.

“Take a good hard look!” You watch him grab at your nipples, pinching at them hard and moaning something loud and pornographic. “You now have to live with the fact that every single one of them have seen your perfect breasts and watched me touch your perky tight nipples. Once you see, you can't unsee!” Bucky blows you one last kiss and enters your bedroom shutting the door.

“You're fucked!” Nat looks over at you with an amused smile and begins to laugh at what just took place.

“This ain't over, darlin’…I got all day!” Your run your hands through the long brown hair, figuring out your next step.

“Buck, what did you do?” Steve walks over to the island and gives you his best Captain America stance.

“I woke up, Steve. I woke up.”  

Tony continues to look at the door of the bedroom Bucky and you occupy, waiting for another show. When he realizes it's not happening he decides it’s time for real talk. “For some reason, ice capades, I don't believe you. She just let us see her boobs….and you're ok with it? I mean, I'm all for it, she has a great rack…but any other time you'd beat the living hell out of us for even thinking about looking. What's up?” You remain silent as you shrug your shoulders at Tony, not knowing what to say.  

“I'm calling bull shit as well…” Sam starts to chime in “I've seen her in more and you've threatened to rearrange my face via that arm! What gives?”

Jesus, they're calling you out. They know something’s not right, and you have no idea how to get yourself out of this one.  

“Hold on everyone!” Nat speaks up, coming to your defense. “Y/N is my best friend. I'd be the first to know if something was wrong. Trust me…that's normal Y/N when she's about to go on a mission. She's just never let you see that side of her.”

Tony starts shaking his head, “nope, don't buy it! Boobs, Nat! Boobs!” Tony exclaims, and Steve palms his face.

“Can we not point out one of my best friends boobs to the world?” Cap asks while rubbing his face.

“Why? I mean-you can't not look.”

Wanda rolls her eyes at your comment and shakes her head. “You should go get dressed Bucky. Go talk to your girlfriend.” She gives you a stern look and you sigh heavily, accepting defeat and make your way to the bedroom door.

You pause before entry, taking one last look at your friends trying to commit their faces to memory before walking in to face a very pissed off Bucky Barnes/you. They all wave to you, and you give a two-finger salute before opening the door and walking into certain death.

[oneofthosecrazycatladies]

Arrowverse Re-Watch: Arrow season 1, episode 1 “Pilot”

***Disclaimer: I recommend you read the tags before digging in to this review.

So I’m doing my annual Arrowverse re-watch (where I go back and watch all the Arrowverse shows in chronological order) and this year, I decided I would make these reviews/commentaries about each episode as I re-watch them.

So here goes... WARNING: SPOILERS AHEAD

Oliver: The name of the island they found me on is Lian Yu. It’s Mandarin for Purgatory. I’ve been stranded here for 5 years.

Okay, don’t get me wrong, the main reason I love Arrow is because the characters are great and real and the stories are so interesting. And Stephen Amell is a fantastic actor, definitely one of the best in the Arrowverse...but hot damn just look at that body

I really don’t like objectifying anyone (of any gender), but art deserves to be appreciated and this body right here is art.

Okay I literally couldn’t find a gif of it anywhere, but that shot of Oliver looking into the mirror and the lightning flashes and you see him in the hood for like a split second...that shot...yeah I love that shot. Ugh it’s so amazing and just chilling.

Okay so apparently a lot of people hated the flashbacks...which I don’t understand??? But I loved the flashbacks. Mostly because I just love flashbacks in general. I mean, they weren’t always super interesting and a lot of the time the flashback storyline wasn’t really as interesting as the main storyline, but I still really liked the flashbacks. I actually kinda miss them sometimes.

TOMMY!

Like basically everyone else in the Arrow fandom, I miss Tommy sooo much. And I know, I know Colin has Chicago Med now, but I gotta be honest...I still haven’t quite gotten over that Tommy (any Earth version) wasn’t Vigilante. Like honestly, what was even the point of making him Vince (or Vinny they literally changed his nickname). God season 6 was such a fucking mess...but more of that later.

Okay so I have a bone to pick with this little moment where Oliver speaks Russian to Raisa. So like I guess it was supposed to demonstrate how Oliver has changed and all that...but like, Oliver’s not stupid. He wouldn’t be so careless as to speak Russian in front of his family and friends when he knows that they know he didn’t speak Russian before the island (thus revealing something about his time away when he’s usually so careful not to let things about that time slip).

I just don’t really like that moment because it seems a bit out of character for him.

Oliver: I didn’t realize you wanted to sleep with my mother, Walter.

Tommy: Have you noticed how hot your sister’s gotten?

It does kinda make me cringe a little though tbh. Although, full disclosure, the first time I ever watched this show, I did kinda ship them. I thought they had great chemistry. Better chemistry than Tommy and L*urel (but we’ll get to that later).

Tommy: So what’d you miss the most; steaks at the Palm, drinks at the station, meaningless sex?

Oliver: L*urel

Oh god here we go with this bullshit...can we just skip to the part where the writers realized that L*uriver was awful and they all jumped on the Olicity train?

Oh look it’s L*urel L*nce, the Queen Bitch of Starling City.

Okay that was an exaggeration...and I don’t actually hate LL, well at least, I don’t hate the idea of her. (Alright, strap yourselves in.)

I feel like LL was only the “real” LL in the first like 3 episodes of season 1 and then like the last 2 episodes before she dies. Every episode in between those she was like the off-brand version of LL. In the first couple episodes, she’s a pretty great character. She genuinely wants to help innocent people, she’s independent, she fights for what she believes in. Other than her being a totally soulless, cold-hearted bitch to Oliver, I actually liked her. But the whole Oliver drama really ruined her. And I blame the writers for that (namely the notorious misogynists Kreisberg and Guggenheim).

So first, they thought that “you cheated on me with my sister” was a great beginning to an epic love story. And then they made her totally cold to Oliver. Like look, as much as I dislike LL, I will always take her side on this issue. Playboy Ollie was a grade A fuckboy jackass and LL has every right to be pissed at him. But...then he spent five years in literal hell. Whatever mistakes he made before the island, he paid for them and then some. Now I know LL doesn’t know all the particulars of what went on in those 5 years, but she must’ve at least seen the movie Cast Away, right? I mean, from her perspective, Oliver spent 5 years completely alone on a deserted island. In that situation he would’ve had to teach himself to hunt and kill animals for food, he would’ve had to learn how to build shelters, he would’ve had literally no one to talk to or interact with for five years. She would’ve had to know that he probably has PTSD...and he comes back and she says “I’d hoped you’d rot in hell a whole lot longer than five years.” Like, are you fucking kidding me?! Why in the fuck would the writers think anyone would ship them with this kind of beginning? How are we supposed to have any sympathy for LL when she won’t even let Oliver try to apologize? And saying that he deserved what happened to him on the island? Jesus fucking Christ. God I couldn’t be more anti-L*uriver if I tried.

I get what (I think) they were trying to go for with LL, but they completely fucked up the execution.

LL: ‘Cause her body was at the bottom of the ocean where you left her. It should’ve been you.

“It should’ve been you.”

Okay bitch let’s go. No one talks to post-island Oliver that way. Ever. Oliver Jonas Queen is a gift to the world and I don’t care what dumbass Ollie Queen did you do not get to say that to Oliver. He has lost and suffered so much, too much. JFC where the fuck is Oliver’s unconditionally loving and supportive wifey when he needs her? Don’t worry bb, only two more episodes and you’re home free.

Mercenary Dude: What did he tell you, Mr. Queen?

Oliver: He told me I’m gonna kill you.

God yes where has this Oliver been the past couple years? Not the kill-happy Oliver, just the intimidating hardcore Oliver that can take down half a dozen guys single-handedly. That’s one of the things I hated about season 6 was how they wrote him so out of character just for plot. Ever since they introduced the newbies in season 5 they’ve written Oliver like he literally can’t even function without having like 5 other people out in the field with him. I don’t mind having a team (I love Roy and Dinah for example) but the team is just too big. (I’ll talk about that in much more detail when we get to seasons 5 and 6 [and that bullshit “civil war”])

Mercenary Dude: You’re delusional. You’re zip-cuffed to that chair.

Oliver: Not anymore.

*shivers*

God the MUSIC! Ugh I love the music in this scene when he’s taking down the kidnappers.

Oh yeah...and this incredible stunt...

And I love that you can tell that Stephen did all these stunts himself. But I especially love the above stunt because it’s so incredible, but like he just does it and it’s as if it’s no big deal because he’s just that physically fit.

QUENTIN!!!

With hair!!!

Oh Quentin deserved so much better than all that nonsense the writers put him through in season 6. But I’m getting ahead of myself here.

I’m just so happy to see him! And to see the journey that he took in the first 4 seasons. (Seasons 5 and 6 [especially 6] weren’t the real Quentin. It had to’ve been one of his doppelgängers because the real Quentin is smarter than to be fooled by BS’ bs).

Ahh did you see what I did there?!

I love Raisa and I’m so happy they brought her back for season 6! I hope she returns again in season 7! I love the way she takes care of the Queen boys!

John Thomas Diggle is in the building ladies and gentlemen! This man is a gift and honestly I sometimes think we don’t deserve him.

Okay I kinda miss seeing Oliver in regular clothes. It seems like, ever since he became mayor, the only civilian clothes we ever see him in are suits. Don’t get me wrong, that man can fill out a suit, he looks delectable...especially when he’s just wearing a button-up shirt with the sleeves rolled up (those arms!)

But I also kinda miss just seeing him in like jeans and a t-shirt. Maybe once he gets out of prison we’ll see more of that (since he won’t be mayor).

The whole workout/training sequence is just...

We were completely deprived of shirtless Oliver in season 6 and I just cannot stand for that. We better get like double the amount of shirtless Oliver in season 7 to make up for it.

Tommy: Now, by my rough estimate, you have not had sex in 1,839 days.

Yeah except for Shado and who knows? maybe Sara or even some random girl in Russia.

LL: I’m sorry about saying that you should’ve been the one who died. That was wrong.

Nice apology, LL (this is the real LL I was talking about earlier), but you’re gonna change your mind in like 2 episodes. @jbuffyangel calls this phenomenon “as the Lances turn” (referring to the crazy inconsistencies in how the Lances [especially LL] are written). And I love that phrase I’m totally gonna steal it because it’s so true, but I’ll discuss that more when it flares up in later episodes.

John: I would believe you, Mr. Queen, if you weren’t so full of crap.

John Diggle, ladies and gentlemen, taking none of Oliver’s shit since 2012.

Please, someone, give this man a medal.

Okay but did John and Oliver ever talk about Oliver putting John in that hold and knocking him unconscious? I don’t know why, but I kinda have this headcanon that they never actually did talk about it until like years later (probably after Oliver and Felicity returned from Ivy Town and Oliver and John made up) that John was just like “remember when you knocked me unconscious at your welcome home party”.

Okay I know that it’s Yao Fei’s hood, but I kinda wonder why Oliver didn’t get it lined with Kevlar from the get-go. I mean it’s not like he trained in medieval times and then time-traveled to the 21st century to start his crusade, like he’s aware that guns exist and that a lot of the people he planned to take down would use guns. I mean, he could’ve just gotten Anatoly or someone else in the Bratva, I’m sure they know people who know how to do that.

But at the same time, I guess it kinda fits with his whole persona and his plan. When he first starts out he’s not really waging a full-on war against all crime in the city, he’s just trying to take down the corrupt one-percenters and once he does that he hangs up the hood and moves on with his life. So it makes more sense that his suit is more “raw” because he’s more raw. He doesn’t have a team, doesn’t consider himself a hero. It’s just him and his bow and his list.

So I’m watching the scene where Robert kills himself and it makes me think of the scene in season 5 when Oliver is watching the video that Robert left him and Felicity comes along and is like “wow no prssure” and I’m like yeah! I mean, what a crazy and horrible burden to put on your child. I mean, there they are, Robert’s made all these mistakes, but instead of trying to fix these mistakes himself he’s like “nah I think I’m just gonna tell my son to right my wrongs and then blow my brains out right in front of him leaving him traumatized and completely alone”.

This is Robert:

Like jfc, no wonder Oliver’s so screwed up.

I just don’t get what Tommy sees in LL. I mean, throughout the season they just go on and on about how much Tommy and LL love each other, but I just don’t see anything between them. I mean what did they even have in common besides losing Oliver? I mean the only thing I kind of get about their relationship is LL encouraging Tommy to be a better person. Once again, it’s the idea of LL, but it didn’t really work out that way in execution.

And honestly, you know what the worst part about M*rlance was? Knowing that they only did it to create even more drama between Oliver and LL, but then the fact that the writers ended up dropping L*uriver in favor of Olicity made all that drama pointless. Now obviously I know that the writers didn’t know that L*uriver would be a total bust (though they should’ve) or what Felicity and Olicity would become at the time, but still...hindsight is 20/20 I guess.

Ah Moira, being shady af.

I miss her. I always loved her character and Susanna Thompson is such an amazing actress.

I miss her pretty much for the same reason I miss Tommy: the potential. Both Tommy and Moira never really got to see Oliver become the true hero that he is today. They never got to see Oliver fall in love and have his own family. I feel the same way about Quentin. They could’ve done some great things with him. I always wanted the writers to explore his relationship with Felicity more. They had a great father-daughter kind of relationship in season 2. And especially knowing that Felicity’s father abandoned her and Quentin had lost his daughter, I thought it made so much sense that they sorta would’ve adopted each other as a surrogate family. But no. Instead, the writers went with that BS bs (hehe I did it again). And now Quentin is dead; another great character wasted.

Anyway, that’s all for me about this episode. I hope you enjoyed my ranting and I’ll see you later for episode 2.

[the-cryptographer]

more TotA blabber

- I forgot to mention this and a couple of other things the first time around, but- Wow, this game is kind of in love with pseudo psychology bullshit. Guy’s phobia of women based in this traumatic past event. Arietta being raised by wolves. Or ligers, i guess. Even Luke’s child development stuff is super bullshit, lol. idk, it’s not like I hate it, but you can feel the kind of bizarre pop culture psych things that went into this.

- On the subject of Guy’s phobia... upon replaying I am kind of uncomfortable with a couple aspects of it. First that, like, every rando woman in this household flung themselves on him as human shields to be slaughtered is a bit objectifying in a pretty violent and terrible way from a meta perspective. Not that a woman sacrificing herself for a man can never be done right. But it’s kind of creepy to me in this mass fridging kind of way. And then also the narrative seems really invested in, like, curing Guy. And I understand that from the perspective of it seriously hindering him from doing important things like saving Anise, but it’s also a bit creepy from the perspective of, like, ‘must make myself like woman. must be straight.’ :/   Not that I have a problem with Guy liking woman or shipping him with them just... yeah. Canon itself could chill a bit.

- Also the issues that Luke has killing other people is kind of waved to the side and... wtf? Like, one minute he’s having a mental breakdown over it, and the next time we run into human enemies on the ferry to Baticul it just... never comes up. While I believe pretty unreservedly that killing is bad and shouldn’t be sanctioned for war or other similar purpose, I can understand where Tear and Jade are coming from. It’s hard to predict when leaving someone alive will only cause more suffering in the end. And I realise that Luke has a lot of difficulty at that point in the game taking responsibility for things, including deaths, that are kind of inevitable but... I think the game kind of cuts this plot short by making it about Luke being some form of immature and weak instead of- yeah- killing people is fucking bad, so... wtf???

- It kind of interests me how the relationships in this story go, lol. compared to the really haremy kind of stuff that starts out with a bunch of tsun girls that slowly warm up to you and start wanting your dick, it’s kind of interesting that this game started with a spoiled noble that every girl wants to get with, and then basically weeds Natalia and Anise out through a combination of mistaken identity and misaimed goals and shitty behaviour on Luke’s part. Not that it’s, like, sooo much better or less sexist than other stuff. But it’s an interesting contrast.

- But Asch complaining about ‘Ladies Man’ Luke was so classic. omg. what a jealous nitwit. i love it.

- I keep thinking of Nephry being kind of chilly and unemotive, basically like Jade but with a better sense of morals and empathy for others. But, man, during the first meeting with her she’s so emotional... I mean, I understand why: she’s got a brother she loves but doesn’t trust and thinks he’s dead and then he shows up on her door with no warning at all. And she has all these terrible thoughts and feelings about what’s happened in the past and nobody to talk to about it with, so then she vomits it on Luke. But it was kind of jarring for me combined with some really bad voice acting, omg.

- Also I read in a let’s play that the only canon evidence of Peony -> Nephry in the games is during the Rappig Quest. But, like, I walked into Keterburg and nobody could shut up about how hot Nephry was and how Emperor Peony’s first wuv lives there and then we meet Nephry and, lo and behold, she’s super HOT. So how much evidence do you guys fucking need spoon fed to you for this onesided shitshow to have canon traction, smh. (We all know I just have a hateboner for ppl ignoring Nephry and shipping Jade and Peony, lol)

- Yeah, I was kind of patting this game on the back for not being overly exploitative with the girls’ character designs too early. I guess the tone of the game changes a bit post-Akzeriuth, so that explains suddenly why there’s such an influx of MELON jokes about Tear. MELONS. Poor Tear...

Also just this image for Tear’s Mystic Arte:

That garter belt shot... mmm... fuck. I have no standards.

- Also, got a decent image of the book in the Order of Lorelei library that has everyone’s rank:

Got a mention of that mysterious Cantabile that’s the 7th God General we never hear about. What an interesting lady.

But mostly I’m just in shock that Sync, of all people, is Chief of Staff. lmao, the most nihilistic uncaring bastard ranks above Largo and Dist and Asch, haha. I need to write something about that.

- I guess I forgot how much I was glued to the sidequest FAQ the first time I played this game, smh. I ended up locking myself out of completing the Frings/Cecile sidequest, which really pisses me off, smh. I remember really enjoying this sidequest the first time and Frings untimely DEATH. So I’m disappointed I’m missing it now. Watch me get over-invested into forced and unnecessary and completely optional tragic het ships.

- (Also missed the Collector’s Book aaaaaaaa.)

- Kind of touched on it in that other post but, wow, this game sure does have a lot of angst and death and dying for a game whose general aesthetic is ‘yay! i cooked an apple pie after battle!!!’ Maybe that’s why I’m leaning away from being able to write comedy about it, lol. But I should. Apple pie is... good.