#but fuuuuuuuuuck that guy

[gommyworm]

:^[

[washipink]

Bakuage Sentai Boonboomger will be the death of me.

[ghostzzy]

oh good. i just puked my brains up.

[butts-bouncing-on-the-beltway]

"Well of course, if someone doesn't have documentation from the state we just let them die and drown and starve and freeze on the mountain because they sure don't deserve disaster relief!" - signed, the pro-human dignity and anti-environmental racism party

[r1caner]

This guy sucks so hard always has and everyone who was mean to me for saying it when i was 17 owes me 100 dollars each

[jessythebunny]

💖I wanna be your lover~💖

Just a small video I made about the jealousy between Jonathan and Saiko😌✨

Also I just realized that today is thanksgiving and I really forgot about it😭😭😭, so..

🍗°•Happy thanksgiving•°🍗

I guess...

[lwieserce]

wdym he needs those materials from aquatic animals..... don't piss me off

[annabelle-o-belmont]

Being a gm kinda sucks sometimes, cause like you get to embody different kinds of characters so you can go from like:

an old mouse with a thrown out back and his kindly old wife as they discipline their adoptive son

to

a single bat mum that feels like absolute shit because she’s raising 3 kids all by herself and is terrified of losing anyone else or feeling like a burden on her community.

to

a lizard father who doesn’t properly know how to express his emotions so sometimes he comes off a little distant but internally he cares so deeply for his son

to

a crow mum who immigrated and is new to this community because she wanted to give her child a life free from food scarcity and toxicity and wants nothing more than to blend in and be helpful.

all this to say, i am indeed crying, gming is hard and no one should ever do it (/j)

[punkitt-is-here]

i find it really funny that im a girl now but whenever im into a guy i still think "fuuuuuuuuuck dude im fucking gayyyyyyyyyyyy" internally. like actually that's the completely expected response. not gay at all. or so i thought. as it turns out its still gay as fuck to be into dudes as a transgender woman

[ab-horror]

ugh

[mzcain27]

Somebody should take my phone I’m gonna be nasty

[elizart5]

Going to court… Yay

Adam: wait, you never got to meet the Seraphims?

Lute: Nope, I wasn’t here long enough

Adam: you’re a lucky Bitch, the head Seraphim sucks ass

Lilith: The trial shall begin

Adam: FUUUUUUUUUCK…. My ex wife…

Lute: were you married to the head Seraphim?

Adam: no

Lute: is that the head?

Adam: no

Lute: Her?

Adam: nope

Lute: Her?

Adam: Just shut up and wait!

*Lucifer Enters*

Lucifer: And I felt bad because I put my foot down

Lucifer: I said “NO”, like a good dad

Lute: who is this? Can we get this guy out of here so we can start?

Adam: SHHHHH! Shut up and show some respect for the Bitch!

Lucifer: …

Lucifer: Adam…. And your girlfriend… yay…

[chriscumslut]

Teacher- Chris sturniolo

Summary- Chris was your teacher for science he asked you to stay back,you were confused at first.

Warnings- Smut,dom!chris,sub!reader,pussing eating,no protection, pull out.

You’re making your way to the lesson you hate most,science. You walk into your classroom and see Mr Sturniolo, “Hey Mr sturniolo” you say smiling at him as you enter the classroom. “Hello class how are we all today?” he says looking around the room at the students, “omg he’s so hot” I whisper to my friend, she looks at me and nods. “Okay what’s the scientific symbol of iron?” Mr Sturniolo says, I put my hand up “yes y/n” he says looking at me. “Fe” I say looking at him. “Yes correct well done” Science is nearly over,your been in this lesson for nearly an hour, you guys pack up and wait for the bell. “Y/n can you stay behind I need to chat with you” Mr Sturniolo says, “yeah,sure is everything okay?” I ask him putting my bag over my shoulder. “Off you go class” Mr Sturniolo dismisses the class. He walks over to me and puts his hands on the table and leans closer to me, “you can call me Chris” he says with a smirk, “u-that’s disrespectful yk?” I say stuttering. “No it’s not, for you it’s not” he says smirking and chuckling, “o-okay” I say placing my bag down. “What’s up Chris?” I say walking over to him, “y-you just look so hot today” he says picking me up and placing me on the desk. “W-wha” i get cut off, “shhh,just let me take care of you baby” he says placing a finger over my lips. He lifts my skirt up,revealing my wet panties. “Fuck,I knew you were into all along” he says licking his lips. “Chris, please” I say throwing my head back. And with that he pulls my panties to the side and he dives straight in, shaking his head side to side. “Fuck” I whimper, Chris then places his tongue in one spot and works his tongue in that one spot, I throw my head back again grabbing a fistful of his hair and pulling it. He moans as I do that, Chris’s eyes roll back as I pull his hair a lot harder causing shivers to go down his spine. I gasp as I’m close, “f-fuck,I’m close” I say moaning squeezing my eyes shut and biting my lip while grinding on his face. “Fuck, s-shit” I say my legs shaking. Chris licks every last drop and stands up he undoes his belt and his button- up long sleeve top. His dick springs out of his boxers, fuck he was huuuuuge. He aligns himself with my entrance and without eating his pushes into me. He moans and throws his head back while pushing into me, “fuck” he says catching his breath, “so fucking tight” he says through gritted teeth, he starts off slow then picks up the pace, he grabs my jaw and kisses me. His thrusts get faster,making me grab the table making me moan. “Oh fuck” I say through pants. He looks at me his mouth open,his hair sticking to his forehead, sweat dripping from every inch of his body. I’ve never seen him hotter in my life. “Fuck, I’m gonna cum” Chris says looking at me his mouth open as he smirks. “F-fuck” I say cumming on his dick my legs shaking once again. “O-oh fuuuuuuuuuck” Chris says as he pulls out and cums on my chest. “You can’t tell anyone about this alright” Chris says looking at me, “yes sir” I say nodding putting my panties back on and he puts his shirt and pants back on. “See you about” I say smirking as a give me a kiss, “yeah,you definitely won’t hate this lesson now” he says chuckling. “Oh for sure I won’t��� I say picking up my bag and walking out like nothing happened.

AHHHH I personally think I ate.

[octuscle]

Lord, all I want is to turn my roommate into a hot biker my age, around 18/20 years old…. My current roommate is just a nerd, showers everyday, and is too clean. I want a goofy, dumb biker boy roommate please!

Your roommate really is a pain in the ass. He's constantly lecturing you about some astronomy shit that you're really not interested in. He plays video chess with some friends who live in the middle of nowhere and talks to them in Klingon. Everything about him annoys you. The noises he makes when he breathes. The way he brushes his teeth. His quirk of always wearing funny colored socks. Yes, he's probably a genius. He's only 16, has no hair on his sack yet, but is already a sophomore in college. But that doesn't change anything. He's unbearable!

The first thing you notice is his language… His nasal British English becomes harsher, his language simpler and simpler. And you could swear there's an accent mixed in… Something funny. Russian? He's probably learning a new language in his spare time now. You could puke!

"Sup, comrade?" he greets you as he arrives home very late by his standards. You look at him questioningly. "Hey man, I come driving school. You always say that you're half man without driver's license." You never said that. You didn't even know he didn't have a driver's license. You smile painfully. And go back to your Playstation. Your flatmate lies on the bed with his shoes on and reads a car magazine that he has obviously picked up at driving school. Boy, he's really off the wall today.

You are woken up the next morning by your flatmate. He comes in the door in a sweat. "That was good training. You have come with me tomorrow" he grunts. Damn, the Slavic accent seems natural and not at all fake. Maybe it's always been his language and the British accent was artificial… Your flatmate sprays a little Axe under his arms, gets dressed and disappears. "Driving school" he mumbles on the way out. What he does, he does consistently. But it's never happened that he leaves without making his bed and tidying his gym clothes. Okay, he's never been to the gym before.

When he comes home in the evening, he's talking loudly on the phone. I have no idea what language that is… Russian? Could also be Bulgarian, Serbian or something else. In any case, his squeaky voice has given way to a pretty impressive barition. Without greeting you, he throws his heavy leather jacket and helmet on the bed and goes into the bathroom, continuing to talk on the phone. His baritone gives way to a groan, followed by a loud "Fuuuuuuuuuck". He comes out of the bathroom grinning, stows his cock away and asks if you've cum today. Otherwise he would suck you off. You decline with thanks. And regret it just a few minutes later.

It's 06:00 when your roommate's alarm clock rings. Has he been sleeping naked? In any case, he goes to the bathroom naked. A few minutes later you hear him wanking again. You don't hear him showering. But when you see him coming out of the bathroom, still naked, you see his semi-hard cock. And it's impressive. Maybe you should ask him today if you can suck him off. You ask why he's up so early. He answers. "I got new job. And I want pump first. Will come with me?" "Maybe tomorrow," you reply and close your eyes again. Half asleep, you notice your flatmate putting on a boiler suit and heavy work boots. A leather jacket on top. He picks up his rucksack and helmet and noisily leaves your room.

The guy who comes into your room in the evening is not your flatmate. At least not at first glance. He notices your questioning look. "I cut hair. More handy with helmet. Like it?" He kneads his impressive bulge. He smells of sweat, leather and engine oil. You get a hard-on and fall to your knees.

Your flatmate is actually more of a lone Slavic wolf. He doesn't make a big deal out of it. He loves his bike, he loves his job as a mechanic and he loves pumping iron. Pretty much in that order. But sometimes he needs a pillion. Someone to suck his cheesy uncut cock. And you love that job.

Slika pronađena @zakucavanje

[l-747]

Guys yall will not BELIEVE IT

I went out today w my mama to buy things and she told me that there was this watermelon plushie on the bazar close to home and BOY I WENT IN AND BOUGHT IT and im in love butthen later we go and my mom buys hes usual herbs for the mate and we go to buy the cats food blablabla BUT THEN WE GO TO THE CHINO STORe and we buy the stuff to clean as usual but then i go to buy WATERMELON bc it TEMPTED ME and i HAD THE MONEY and i buy one, and then the verdulero comes and says to me: "yk what? Have another" WHAT THE FUUUUUUUUUCK TWO WATERMELONS ONE IS FREE THE OTHER IS A CHEAP 3K AND WHAT, A WATERMELON PLUSHIE???? 10K WELL FUCKING SPENT DUDE WHAT THE HELLLL BEST DAY KF MY LIFEEEEE

[aspiringwarriorlibrarian]

https://x.com/HannaBarberaCap/status/1827781603818356949

Fuuuuuuuuuck this guy!

“I never saw them as racial” yeah that’s because you were young and hadn’t become racist yet. Then you grew up, became racist, and when faced with the contradiction of your beloved childhood characters not living up to your new personality where every person of color was an invasion, immediately started grasping at straws to explain why it’s okay for these brown characters to exist but not the new ones.