#but fuck-it it's fiction they can have a damn castle >:(
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𝐩𝐚𝐫𝐚𝐝𝐢𝐬𝐞
pairing ⤜ yn x jj
summary ⤜ a happy future fic, because we need some healing; jj on the beach with his family reflecting on his life.
a/n ⤜ how are we doing fam? me? not so well. this has been the hardest fictional moment that's ever hit me. i'm choosing to believe our boy is still off somewhere and gonna have the best, most fulfilled and loving future. sending hugs and love to each of you!!
song inspo ⤜ no song inspo for this one; but i did have 'nights in white satin' on repeat as i wrote
The sun is setting over the horizon, sinking down into the ocean and melting into streams of gold and orange against the shimmering water. JJ Maybank perches on his surf board for a moment, admiring it. He's never considered himself to be the most religious of people. Sure, he attended Sunday school as a kid, knows the bible stories decently enough; and yeah, there's times when he catches himself praying. Like the time John B got into that nasty accident, or when his son was born. There'd been complications, things had been touch and go for a moment. JJ had pressed his head against the glossy white wall of the hospital waiting area, hoping to God that things would be okay, as John B and Sarah rubbed his back comfortingly.
The one time JJ didn't pray might have been the one time he should. He'd been stabbed, by his son of a bitch father. Not Luke, the "real one" though JJ found it almost funny how he preferred to think of Luke fuckin' Maybank as his actual father. At least Luke had never tried to stab him. But that was beside the point; JJ had been stabbed, and things were not looking good. John B had felt for a pulse and had felt nothing. JJ can still remember the feeling of floating away, like riding a wave to the horizon. He hadn't prayed then. Instead, he'd made peace with his fate. He'd lived a pretty damn full life in 20 years, and if this was the end of it, so be it. At least on the other side, no one would be trying to hurt him, right? That sounded mighty nice to him. So he'd closed his eyes and let himself drift off towards that horizon.
Only instead, he'd woken up in a hospital, still very much alive. His best friends at his side. Pope and Kiara barely left his side, and John B had practically crawled into the bed with him to hold him in his arms until a nurse had yelled at him. JJ doesn't remember feeling such love until that moment. And that was when it all changed. He'd been given a second chance, and an opportunity to see just how loved and valued he is. He was never going to squander it or take it for granted again.
The sun is sinking lower, the water in front of him glittering in gold. JJ pushes his wet hair back off his forehead to admire it. Years ago he'd have just shrugged it off. Sunsets were a dime a dozen. Not anymore though. Now JJ takes the moment to sit and watch and appreciate.
He glances back to the shore, where his wife and baby are playing in the sand. Harley John Maybank's (it'd be a cold day in hell if JJ ever took the name of that man) new favorite thing was trying to rush to the water, his mom and dad hot on his heels. JJ could tell already that Harley was going to be a handful, and he couldn't fucking wait.
The waves were rising higher. It'd make for a sick surf tonight. JJ bites his lip, turns and paddles back to the shore. Some priorities rank higher than waves.
He tucks his board under his arm and hurries over to where the two of you are building a sandcastle with Harley's little castle-shaped buckets.
"Hey, baby," you glance up at your husband, reaching out and touching his cheek with his hand, always little assurances like that to make sure he's real, "Not surfing?"
"Nah," JJ shakes some water from his head, "Much rather'd build sand castles with this little one," he ruffles Harley's head of blonde hair, glistening in the sunlight.
You can't help but smile as he sinks down into the damp sand to help Harley stuff sand into his buckets. Moments like these is when it truly hits you, just how blessed you are.
JJ gently helps Harley, his eyes so soft and full of love and devotion. Harley John is his utmost pride and joy. He's always been soft with you, but the gentleness in which he treats your son is beyond anything you could imagine.
JJ packs the sand into the bucket with the back of a little plastic shovel. He wonders if maybe there was a time he'd done this as a boy, but shakes the thought from his head. It doesn't matter. He can do it now. He can do it with Harley.
"Sarah called earlier," your voice pulls JJ from his thoughts, "She and John B are going to have Baby Jackson christened. John B is supposed to ask you to be the godfather tomorrow, but Sarah couldn't wait to tell me. You know the two of them, it's not a church thing or anything. Just The Pogues and the ocean."
"Sounds nice," JJ says, wrapping his arms around Harley and pulling him softly onto his lap.
JJ reaches for your hand, pulling you to him as well. He presses a kiss the back of your hand, holding your hand and running his thumb over your knuckles. Nothing ever feels one hundred percent real unless JJ can feel it, touch it, revel in it. He tosses his head back as the evening breeze licks through his hair.
And in that moment, JJ can't help but stop and say thank you.
Because JJ Maybank lives every day in paradise.
#jj maybank#obx fic#obx imagine#jj mayback imagine#jj mayback x reader#jj maybank fic#jj maybank x yn#jj maybank x you#outer banks fic#outer banks#obx
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Shoutout to MYSELF and that time i wrote an early medieval AU that utilised various features of a castle before I finally thought to check if castles had been invented yet and THEY HAD NOT.
#:(#nobody's complained though so it's probably fine#and i did add a disclaimer that i was choosing Story over Historical Accuracy just in case a passing medievalist reads it#anyway what happened is i started thinking “what's the oldest castle i've personally seen with my own eyes?”#and realised none of them were anything like THAT old#but fuck-it it's fiction they can have a damn castle >:(#i'm sure i got plenty of other things wrong as well anyway!#*nervous chuckle*#HOW CAN YOU NOT HAVE INVENTED CASTLES THEY'RE JUST STONE EVERYONE HAS STONE FOR FUCK'S SAKE
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Vld rewatch was a wild trip honestly. My general opinions are as follows:
Generic ass show. I'm not entirely sure why it took off as much as it did but it was generic af.
I still stand by that the Alteans spout some serious "white man's burden" type of shit. Very reminiscent of all the shit I spent slogging over in my postcol lectures.
I'm still shook that people never pointed out Alfor literally nuked Daibazaal and basically forced the Galrans into exile.
Haggar's character died when she remembered she's a mom.
I may not be huge on Allura given some of the really weird choices made with the Alteans but damn you really murked the victim of a genocide for the greater good, huh?
Kl fans really thought their ship was gonna be canon cause a couple people on the show drew art for it. I guess Revy and Roberta have been screwing behind the scenes.
Shiro is my son and the only good thing second to my best friend acquisition to come out of vld. I would have added Zarkon but we literally had only 2 seasons of him before his daddy ass was nuked.
I originally went in expecting ka1lura because that's how it always went and started actually liking a1lurance by the end. Yes it was developed pretty well all things considered. Only one other duo was developed more than them and it wasn't the two twinks.
I like the MFE pilots more than the paladins given that the latter's bond was non existent by the end.
Hunk and Shay were not a good couple in terms of development. Sorry it's cute but it's boring as fuck. No build up, they meet, the fat guy liked the fat girl and they immediately start dating. That's the way of the fat peeps in media. Lord forbid we give people who aren't skinny actual developed love stories.
My use of the word daddy is reserved for two fictional men. He's one of them.
Keith, Matt, Ezor and Allura were the prettiest characters. I can see why everyone wanted a piece of Keith in particular for their ships.
Keith x Axca would have been the lamest endgame. My boy is running around in space, is a part alien and with so many unique looking characters around him only to end up with the alien with the most uninteresting character design is just ridiculous. Had she looked buff like Zethrid or unusual like Ezor I'd have been down for it.
Krolia had bad character design. She's a generic fem galra Keith au fan art.
You couldn't get me to take [Man]'s existence seriously. If you put a loaded gun to my head and demanded I do I'd squeeze your trigger finger and off myself instead.
Shiro's new arm is UGLY.
The castle of lions looks like a giant fancy dildo.
Lotor's arc was dumb. Loved the racism of Lotor's Altean side being praised when he's faking goodness but a Galran when he's evil? As if it's not his Altean mother's obsessive ambition that led to his downfall while Zarkon literally went mad because of his love and devotion for Honerva? Oh right, Alteans good Galra bad. My mistake.
LM and JDS don't deserve a fraction of the slander they still keep getting. The show was bad in the way a generic idea tends to be when you have a bunch of different writers.
S8 is objectively awful but the quality declined after s2.
I hate their chins. Shiro was the only one with a chin I could get behind.
I really want to go back to that time when we used to slap "Disclaimer: I do not own *insert show name*. The show and all the characters are the property of *insert company/creator's name*". It will definitely reduce the obscene entitlement amongst modern audiences.
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uwu @luvwich tagged me for a writer interview (?!) so let's get to the navel gazing
i tag @wanderingaldecaldo and @medtech-mara
When did you start writing?
Since I was like 8. I'm not joking. When we were selling the condo after I'd moved out my mom and I pruned the "kid art" boxes together because she kept nearly everything creative we ever did. There was this assignment where we had to write our own version of the tortoise and the hare in second or third grade and it was honestly pretty witty. Like, it was still very much in the voice I still write with today.
Then in middle school I wrote vampire rescue stories (girl is mid-assault or nearly assaulted and near death, vampire rescues and has to tun her to save her life, she wakes up in a castle) but it was way more gory. I never finished one. As I got older I dabbled here and there but again, rarely finished something. I've written a variety of short fiction and you can read some of my stuff here.
Are there different themes or genres you enjoy reading than what you write?
Nooo. Even with movies I generally stick to horror and sci-fi which is also what I enjoy writing. Although, I do enjoy like literary fiction? Satire? Idk I really love Chuck Palahniuk and Doug Coupland.
Is there a writer you want to emulate or get compared to often?
I don't think I've ever been compared to anyone, no. I know my style is influenced by Weird Al, John Scieszka, Chuck Palahniuk, Stephen King, Neal Stephenson, William Gibson. Probably some others but I can't think of their names.
Can you tell me a bit about your writing space?
GOD either my phone in bed or at my desk. My desk is messy and there is a cat bed on it so the cats can be close to me without being fucking pests and walking over my keyboard. I bought a new desk in like June of last year when I first moved into me new place and I...still have not put it together.
What's your most effective way to muster up a muse?
Watching horror movies. Also just starting to write. I have to remember to trust and just write, just start writing.
Are there any recurring themes in your writing? Do they surprise you?
I will say I was SO shooketh when I picked up A Streetkid Named Desire again, especially for how much of myself, my past, my experiences, my history I put into Bea and VG. Otherwise, recurring themes are cynical optimism, push and pull love, autism, kinda antiheroes, body horror, and complex characters. Not to toot my own horn on that last one.
What is your reason for writing?
I have to. I have to get this story out of my head. I play in my imagination. It's actually the only way I can really daydream, that's why I call it my imagination playground.
Mostly because it's part of who I am. I write. I'm a writer. That's all there is to it.
Is there any specific comment or type of comment you find particularly motivating?
I have...so few comments. The best ones are about my characters and emotions. But any comment is motivating. Mostly because I'm just putting all this out there and it would be so nice for other people to read and share in this experience because it's not just a story it's kind of baring my soul.
I want someone to see me through my writing.
How do you want to be thought about by your readers?
Eeeehhhhhsgghasgbdf I don't wanna think about being perceived. I think just a good author.
What do you feel is your greatest strength as a writer?
Snappy dialogue and character dynamics.
How do you feel about your own writing?
I feel very neutral until I re-read it on AO3 and go "damn, I really cooked." I kinda get excited when I am re-reading for the first time and it's actually good.
When you write, are you influenced by what others might enjoy reading, or do you write purely for yourself, or a mix of both?
Completely and purely for myself. My story and characters are very close to me and I feel just compelled to tell it. I mostly let the characters decide as I write. I write for myself because it's fun and I like seeing the story in my imagination in my head. I want other people to enjoy my writing too but unfortunately I am not likely going to cater to readers lol
This is why I likely will only ever be self-published if I do publish an original story because I could not fathom or tolerate an editor wanting to cut certain things or make it more marketable or something. My writing is all a part of me and part of my soul and not staying true to that, not writing what I want or how I want is crushing.
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GIRL, I see what you mean but I'm gonna need clarification on when the relationship ended because I am not about the cheating lifestyle. Them being in a committed relationship changes it for me. You guys just met on the show is one thing. You guys were in this together and you crossed the line with me HOW MANY TIMES IN SO MANY WAYS! LIKE WAS IT JUST KISSING OR WAS IT THE INAPPROPRIATE BUT DELICIOUS BREAKFAST SCENE OR ALL THE TIMES WE WENT ALLLL THE WAY?! Like it makes me more nervous when we find them in the sauna and Carmen calls me a homewrecker?! LIKE PLEASE DON'T SAY YOU JUST BROKE UP THEN.
I can recover with some clarity 😭😭😭
NO UH I-- UH--- DEFINITELY THOUGHT ABOUT THIS ASPECT OF THE PLOT???? UMMMMM
[frantically checks notes]
No but idk for real like as long as they weren't hooking up behind your back, I still freaking love it. Like he tried so hard to be snakey, and you better believe he better have had a DAMN GOOD REASON
but despite everything he fell in love with you!!??!?!??!?!?!??!?!
He wasn't supposed to. It was the only, single thing that could've ruined their plans and they clearly thought it was so unlikely that they didn't even bother discussing it but COME ONNNNNN
bhsdjkadjhfgsdagjhfdbvghkdfhvsjafbjarkg
Sorry I'm literally writing he fanfic in my head where he's trying so hard to play you. And early on he probably has a conversation with Carmen where it went like
Carmen: You're... oh fucking hell. You're having second thoughts. Jirayu: No, I'm not, I'm just... [sighs]. I just don't want it to be her. That's all. She's nice, Carmen. She's really nice. She doesn't deserve this. Carmen: Maybe not. But we deserve this. We promised each other. Jirayu: [unsure].
Like just imagine the fighting. Imagine the behind the scenes fighting that's been going on between them.
Jirayu: You told me to sell it! Carmen: Sell it? Sell it? Is that what you think you were doing? You were looking at her like she was the only thing you wanted in the entire world! Like she actually meant something to you-- Jirayu (quietly): Don't do that. Carmen: DOES SHE? Jirayu: What do you want from me? She's nice. We get on. That's all. Carmen: [furious] Jirayu: [mad] Jirayu (goes and finds MC in their bed. She rolls over and slips her hand onto his chest, and he places his hand over hers. She smiles. A wave of calmness washes over him. He pulls her closer and buries his face in her hair. Sleep takes a long time to come).
Listen. I know that IRL this would be problematic as hell but the fiction side of my brain is REELING. Like I am hyperventilating and chomping at the bit and I am living and dying for this route.
The predictable thing would've been to make it Taz. Have the stone-cold ice king be the one to be a betrayer but sweet, brilliant Jirayu???? Who thought he could outsmart the game but instead forgot to factor in the one thing that could outsmart him:
HIS FUCKING HEARRRRTTTTTTTTTTT
(Also if you're into this please go ahead and read King of the Castle by @i-boop-you because this is crack to me.)
but he's actually falling for her and there's the moral ambiguity of whether or not he even deserves to be forgiven??? There's the betrayal and the dishonesty and the does she even know who he is any more???
URGHHHHH THE ANGST IS ANGSTING AND HE'S GONNA HAVE TO COMPLETELY COME CLEAN!!!! AND THE REVEALLLL!!!!! THE REEEEVVVVVEEEAAALLLLLLLL NEXT WEEEEKKKKKKKK GAHHHHHHHHH it's gonna be such an intense, emotional moment for Jirayu girls and oh my godddd i need to find time to catch up on his route!!!!!!!!!!!
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Can I ask who's Obi and what's AnS? I've seen you mention them sometimes and I think I've seen you reblog things on it? But I never looked it up, but since you have amazing tastes in fictional men you got me curious now
Hehehe, Anon, you're in for a lot of gushing...
AnS/SWTRH: Akagami no Shirayuki-hime/Snow White with the Red Hair is a manga (with only one season of anime rip) and it was actually my first real manga love. That's right folks, my Obi love predates Shisui!
I don't want to spoil it too much for you if you decide to have a go at it but, basics are:
Shirayuki is a herbalist in the Kingdom of Tanbarun who was born with striking crimson hair, which garners a lot of attention for her. When she's forced to run, she makes it over the border into the neighbouring kingdom of Clarines as a kind of refugee. She meets and gains the aid of the Second Prince, Zen, and his two Knight aids, Kiki and Mitsuhide. Shirayuki and Zen are the main pairing in the anime. Shirayuki joins the gang by apprenticing as a herbalist at the Royal Infirmary.
Here's a manga cover: (bottom right to left going upwards clockwise) Shirayuki, Zen, Kiki, Mitsuhide, and then... Obi
I'll try not to devolve lol
Obi, who is the tritagonist, was hired by a minor antagonist in the castle to basically... scare Shirayuki off from 'befriending' (in the shipping way, yk?) Zen, but nothing he does works. In watching her, Obi becomes curious about the kind of stubborn, sensitive, intelligent, kind woman that Shirayuki is. Through a series of events, Obi is taken on as one of Zen's attendants, going so far as to call the prince 'Master', and becomes Shirayuki's bodyguard and partner in crime during her adventures. He refuses to address her by name and only calls her 'miss'. Obi eventually comes to fall in love with Shirayuki, which Zen is aware of but Shirayuki is not, but he loves Shirayuki and values Zen too much to even consider speaking of it, not to mention his own beliefs that he is unworthy. Obi has a very mysterious past, not just because he has a lot of dubious skills with fighting, parkour, thievery and espionage, but because we don't actually know where he's from etc. Needless to say, I am hardcore ObiYuki allllll the way.
Obi:
He's just-!!!! He's very playful and evasive and you can tell he really doesn't value himself as much as he does the people around him. Even when Knighted, he's still got this image of himself as a dirty mercenary assassin trying to get by. He's flirty, a good few people polyship him with ZenYuki, but skittish of real emotion. He touched Shirayuki's shoulder once and then couldn't sleep because he was thinking about it over and over.
He and Shirayuki are low-key high-key raising a child together (Ryuu is technically Shirayuki's apprenticeship master lol child genius) and he's such a good father figure, even if he wouldn't see it that way
Obi is really sensitive, there are so many times when Shirayuki will earnestly thank him and he'll literally just... Buffer. He can swear his fealty and make sly comments about setting his life at other's feet but the moment someone suggests that they love him back?? Evasion, freezing, side eyes, wide eyes, I'm just 😩
Obi is a badass. He's literally THE badass of the show. Zen has a sword, yeah, and Kiki could kill me and I'd thank her but... Damn. Obi is doing backflips in a spar and shit, he's literally launching himself across rooftops and scaling turrets.
Obi is actually just a really wonderful person? He listens to people. He has absolutely no background or real interest in herbalism but guess what he'll fucking do? Run around on little adventures with Ryuu and Shirayuki, repotting plants under their direction, wading through ice caves to find flowers, helping them in the lab to distill essences... And he's listening and brainstorming with them! It would be so easy for his character to have passed off on it, maybe turned it into a "I'm here but not mentally" joke or maybe even just pushed to the back of these scenes but no, Obi's right in there all the time to help. Shirayuki and Zen have relationship issues? Obi doesn't even think about trying for his own agenda, he just puts supporting them (Shirayuki first, then Zen) as the top priority. Kiki and Mitsuhide in a bind? Obi will come out with a line but of course he would help them, watching carefully with concealed concern. Later, when Obi has his own duties, he's still heavily involved with the day to day research of his friends, making friends with other lab researchers outside of being Shirayuki's tagalong!
So... That's Obi! My OG babygirl!❤️✨
Hope that cleared it up for you! 🥰✨
Edit: his eyes are gold. That's the final nail in my coffin
#torship#torship talks#ask#anon#obi#akagami no shirayuki#ans#obiyuki#i can feel obiyuki sucking me back in
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Poetry Masterlist
Off With Her Head, a Poetry Collection
Content Warnings: discussions of death, depressive emotions
I wrote poems while my body fell apart and put everything I felt about that into them. This collection is a chronicle of my journey. Section 1: The Fall is the darkest section - one of the symptoms of longer migraines is depressive feelings or full depression - and it contains discussions of death, loss, hopelessness, and pain . Section 2: Wonderland also contains poems discussing these same topics, but through the lens of fiction and allegory and dealt with in a whimsical style.
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"Too much time spent inside one's own head can be dangerous - it's enough to make anyone go a little mad."
This Way Madness Lies
Section 1: The Fall
What is a Migraine
Do I Have Migraines or Do Migraines Have Me I
Metamorphosis
Pro Tip: Avoid the Internet
The Worst Movie Ever I.
Painting the Roses Red
Self Harm?
My Mind is a Storm I Cannot Survive
Sing a Song
Empty Hands
Burn
The Hollow Inside
Building Blocks
Tell Me About the Sky
My Body is a Temple That Has Turned to Dust
Love Me
Do I Have Migraines or Do Migraines Have Me II
Disassociation
The Worst Movie Ever II.
Breathe
One For All
Am I Real
Heartbeat Song
A Little Shadow Cat in a Shadow Sea
Touch Me
Do I Have Migraines or Do Migraines Have Me III.
Stand Tall and Face It All
A Little Marionette Girl
Just Like Shakespeare Would
The Worst Movie Ever III.
Ink-Stained Fingers
Do I Have Migraines or Do Migraines Have Me IV.
All the King's Horses
Bleeding Out
Bring A Friend
Stay Calm and Walk to the Nearest Exit
Section 2: Wonderland
The Day Earth Stopped Spinning
Death is Up and Walking
A Cloak of Bones
See Not the Beauty
The Mistress of the World and Her Shadow
Tick, Tick... Thud
This Terrible Work
Under the Bed
Master
My Lady, the Sea
Burn Brighter Than a Star
Fragile as a... I.
The Girls are Crying
Girls of Paper and Flowers
Feathers
A Woman Walks into a Fortune Teller's Shop
Taken
Rescue
Be Glad, For Nothing Lasts Forever
Dance in the Rain I.
Little Girls in Red Cloaks Know How to Survive
Nebula
Fragile as a... II.
The Forge
Tell Me a Story
Section 3: The Awakening
The Child's Song
Children of the Skies
Midnight Thoughts (Sugar Work Castles)
Creature of Skin and Words
Patches
Just #Girlboss It
Beauty and Desire
Evil Queen
Therapy
Teach Me to Hate Without Dying
To Be Enough
Volcano
Fuck Self Help Books
The Madwoman
A Seat at the Table
The Boxing Match
Mad Woman
Hypocrisy
Woman in the Window
America the Beautiful, America the Damned
Community
Extras
Hunger
VIII
Record Shop
Crest
Crying in a Doctor's Office
Bullet Hole
Ache
Delicate
A Quilt Made of Hope and Tears
Cruel Fates
Draw Me A Picture
Prompt Poems
Day After
What it Took to Get Here
#rachelbracepoetry#rachel brace poetry#poetry#poems#disability poetry#off with her head collection#poetry is not dead#spilled ink#spilled poetry
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As we draw ever closer to the 5th anniversary of Kingdom Hearts III, I can't help but reflect more and more upon the realization I've had as of late. For well over a decade, ever since Dream Drop Distance, I have mourned the degradation of the KH series' story and characters, which only intensified after KH3 and all the bullshit it brought to the table in regards to those aspects. But now I understand just as important as those, if not moreso, is the degradation of the KH series' universe. After all, normally in a well-established fictional universe, even if one story with one cast of characters doesn't go over well, you can still potentially look forward to a different story with a different cast of characters unconnected to that other one. And there lies the biggest problem - for all the expansion of this increasingly convoluted lore, the series' universe has shrunk in scope because nothing is unconnected.
The state of the KH universe is that in the beginning it was populated with Keyblade wielders who, due to the machinations of a certain Keyblade master, fought a war over ownership of Kingdom Hearts that plunged the universe into darkness. But then a select few Keyblade wielders restored the universe, which created many more Keyblade wielders who joined up with them, and they essentially ruled over the universe from the shadows in this super special secret world called Scala ad Caelum. Eventually, the machinations of that same Keyblade master from before corrupts a Keyblade wielder who spends his whole life - through several points in time and several different incarnations of himself - trying to take control of Kingdom Hearts so that he could destroy and remake the universe again because he isn't satisfied with how it is now. He is stopped by other Keyblade wielders assembled by a retired Keyblade master, but it caused that damn conflict-creating Keyblade master and his pupils to somehow return, and now the story is venturing into "the realm of unreality" which turns out to have been a big part of that Keyblade master's goal the whole time that he's been working toward since damn near the inception of the universe....OK, do you see what I mean? Everything, and I mean everything, that goes on in this universe that is treated as important by the narrative is directly tied to this one item (Keyblade) and one class of people (Keyblade wielders), and has been scripted by this one omnipotent douchebag (the Master of Masters). Nothing is unconnected, all events and concepts tie back into the Keyblade, the important players who shape the universe are all a part of this one, tightly-knit web of connections, and as a result the universe feels so. fucking. small. It feels so utterly limited in scope and range.
Think of all the Disney worlds in this series, which make up the majority of the universe. Worlds from classic Disney shorts, Alice in Wonderland, Hercules, Tarzan, Aladdin, Pinocchio, The Little Mermaid, The Nightmare Before Christmas, Peter Pan, Winnie the Pooh, Fantasia, Mulan, Beauty and the Beast, Pirates of the Caribbean, The Lion King, Tron, Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs, Cinderella, Sleeping Beauty, Lilo & Stitch, The Jun The Hunchback of Notre Dame, Tron LEGACY, Wreck-It Ralph, Toy Story, Tangled, Monsters Inc., Frozen, and Big Hero 6. And then afterwards, ask yourself this single, all-important question:
How many of these worlds matter to this universe's grand story?
The answer: THREE.
I shit you not. Disney Castle (classic Disney shorts), Yen Sid's Tower (Fantasia), and Enchanted Dominion (Sleeping Beauty) are the only worlds that hold any significance, all because of the characters who hail from there that interact with the universe's grand narrative: Mickey, Donald, Goofy, Jiminy Cricket, Chip and Dale, Pluto, Pete, Yen Sid and Maleficent. And yes, I know that Jiminy technically hails from the Pinocchio world, but nothing about his life there prior to winding up at Disney Castle and entering Mickey's service as a chronicler for Sora's adventures really matters. Every other world is visited by Keyblade wielders, but its inhabitants never gets to meaningfully contribute to the story those Keyblade wielders are caught up in.....in fact, they are mostly kept ignorant of its very existence.
And the infuriating part is that it didn't used to be this way! Before the Keyblade overtook everything and was just one important part of a larger universe, the Disney worlds and its inhabitants were able to contribute! In KH1, the story was about the Heartless and the worlds' hearts and a group of villains conspiring to capture a group of princesses to obtain ultimate power and Sora broadening his horizons and making his heart stronger through making friends, all of which were serviced through the Disney elements. In KH2, the story was about Organization XIII and the Nobodies seeking to use the Heartless and the Keyblade for their own ends of obtaining ultimate power, with doing so involving threatening worlds and friends that Sora held dear, as well as competing with Pete and a resurrected Maleficent over usage of the Heartless. So again, the Disney worlds and their inhabitants actually participated in what's going on! Even BBS could be forgiven for not having the Disney worlds connect much to the overall plot (beyond a bunch of Unversed running around and barely anyone reacting) because it was a prequel, and naturally the developers didn't want many world inhabitants getting an inkling of a larger universe before the Heartless invasion of KH1 transpired.
But then it all shifted so that everything that happened in those games were all a part of Master Xehanort's convoluted grand plan which hadn't been remotely thwarted yet, meaning that retroactively all of those aforementioned games and events the Disney worlds and characters interacted with meant jack shit...and a point is now even being made about keeping specific Disney characters (the "new Seven Lights") out of the main action and ignorant to their potential role in it! And then it shifted again so that it's all about the Keyblade wielders of the ancient past and the Master of Master's grand designs, which means that those previously important Disney worlds and characters feel even less important than they already did following the big Master Xehanort reveal! From what I can tell, the only Disney world and character that may be gaining prominence in the universe's grander narrative is Olympus and Hades respectively, and even then only because he lucked out since Nomura wants to recreate Final Fantasy Versus XIII which involved a god of the dead. Otherwise, it's still all about the OC worlds and OC characters - nearly all of them Keyblade wielders - plus those select few Disney characters from those three worlds that actually know what's up.
That's the sad state of affairs. A supposedly vast universe where the majority of its settings and population....don't actually matter. To the point where they all may as well not be part of the universe but a separate one altogether. Daybreak Town / Scala ad Caelum, the Keyblade Graveyard, the Land of Departure / Castle Oblivion, Radiant Garden / Hollow Bastion, Twilight Town, The World That Never Was, the Final World and Quadratum...those worlds and the characters who populate them are the ones that truly matter to the universe. Those worlds plus those three (soon to be four) Disney worlds mentioned before, as well as all the goddamn datascape recreations of such worlds. It's a small (and boring) universe after all.
#Disney#Square Enix#Kingdom Hearts#Opinion#Analysis#Truthbomb#Bad Writing#They Wasted a Perfectly Good Plot#Jumping the Shark#This Franchise Got Screwed Up#Anti-Kingdom Hearts#Anti-Square Enix#Anti-Nomura#Anti-Tetsuya Nomura
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Not a question just generally curious. Who's your favorite character from all the shows you watch?
I got this ask a while ago, but I didnt answer as im apart of like 1000 fandoms
Well for now at the top of my head, I can think of a few.
JJBA
Right now, my fav has gooot to be Josuke. Im literally the same age as him which makes him really relatable, and part 4 is just goated 🔥🔥
Tokyo Revengers
HANMA MOTHERFUCKING SHUJI. I was gonna say Draken but... Lets be real. I love the worst guys 💔 Hed be the most unhinged toxic death gripping yandere. His personality I would fucking hate irl, but i like to giggle about it behind my cracked ass screen. And hes just so... Soooooooo.... SOOOOO HOOOOOOOOTTT 😫😫😓
Identity V
Not a show but shhh it's an original.
Norton Campbell. Sorry Jack but he was here first. Always have loved him, and always will. Mf made me join the fandom im the first place low-key. I really like his design and canon personality. I personally think relatable due to things in my past. 10/10 character, would main again.
Demon Slayer
Douma.
Douma Douma Douma Douma Douma Douma Douma Douma Douma Douma Douma Douma Douma Douma Douma Douma Douma Douma Douma Douma Douma Douma Douma Douma Douma Douma Douma Douma Douma Douma
Just... Its the same as Hanma tbh. Fictional psychopathic/sociopaths got a grip on me. Maybe its bc I can enjoy their dramatized freak of nature selves from a FARRR distance.
(Spoiler for Infinity Castle arc from here??)
He's got pretty privilege, so annoying that its funny, OP ASFFFFF if plot amor didnt get him (OR HIS DAMN YAPPING), and he's just so silly.
HXH
.... I want to look good and say Kurapika or Gon, but we all know.
Chrollo. L.
HE CAN TAKE THIS L UGGHHH
I actually really like and enjoy his character lol. I die laughing at how everyone in the yan community has just agreed, "Yeah Chrollo is crazy manipulative and OP, but he's not suave with his darling. Like at all." Its nooooot always accurate, but can we normalize fun? Enjoyment? Being happy? Having a laugh and a clickity cackle?
Jujutsu Kaisen
I haven't been into JJK for a while buuutt i do still get spoilers so!! Im still in baby.
Anyways, Geto. Him being uh.... Opinionated isn't reaaally my favorite thing, but his character is really good. Bc like, I get his motivations and its just really good in general.
And hes pretty.
Not much to say. Ive read the manga a little after the Shibuya arc, but the tree looking mf explaining got... Too long. And confusing so I havent consumed JJK content since 😭
Record of Ragnarok
Buddah. NEEEEXTTTTT.
Arcane
Viktor. Beautiful design, voice, and, muah, PERSONALITYYYY.
My #1 thing is intelligence, 2nd is cracking jokes. He's checking the boxes, YEAH. YEAH.
Cheekbones ughhhhh YES
His character is also well made and intriguing.
Metal Family
Glam. Glam always.
#nana talks#as u can see I was just going off the fandoms off my masterlist#i have a lot of favs but i had to pick THE VERY BEST
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Blue Jeans [Chapter Six] Fission [Ace Merrill]
Warning(s): family drama, horror movie lore, OC, 21 questions, first kiss.
No Minors Allowed!!
The malty scent of fresh warm bread permeated the air as Elise rose out of bed on Saturday morning. She groaned in discomfort, feeling sore, and trudged down the stairs to the kitchen where Nana stood, looming over the stove.
“Morning,” Elise somnolently said, holding back a yawn.
“I didn't expect to see up til noon,” Nana admitted. “Not after Nan ran you about damn near ragged.”
It wasn't her fault.
“Comes with the job sometimes,” Elise stated as she sat down at the table.
Nana snorted. “You sound like your father.”
Speaking of which. Elise smiled widely. She felt like she had been given a second wind.
“Is Dad awake?”
“He came down a few minutes ago, but went back up to wake the dragon,” Nana replied. She was referring to Madeline. “I told him to let you sleep for a bit longer, but since you're awake now, you should go on and freshen up before breakfast.”
Elise nodded and stood up, hurrying up the stairs. Before she reached the bathroom, she heard the muffled voice of her mother through the bedroom door. She sounded irritated. As often as she had been told not to eavesdrop, that it was rude, she could not pass up the temptation.
Silent as a mouse, Elise listened in.
“I have had all I can take of that woman. She's insufferable,” Madeline caterwauled.
“You know Mom, hon. She's just…blunt,” Oliver defended.
Elise tightened her jaw. They were talking about Nana.
“Blunt is an understatement,” Madeline fumed. “She has been givin’ me nothing but shit since I got here. Look, I know I fucked up but I don't need it to be thrown in my face every time we make eye contact. My daughter won't even come to my defense.”
A low noise like a sigh came from Oliver.
“You can't blame Elise for not saying anything. She…she needs time too. I'll talk to her about it, and I'll ask Mom to lighten up on you.”
“I'd fucking appreciate it,” Madeline retorted.
Elise turned up her eyes. Was he serious? He took so much crap from her; it was him after all who should feel the most betrayed by her. She gave up on the conversation and walked into the bathroom, shutting the door a bit harder than she meant to. As she was washing her face, she heard the bedroom door open, and then close. Assuming that her parents were headed down to breakfast, she quickly finished and hurried downstairs herself, but all she saw seated at the table was her father, the spitting image of an overworked Public Defender.
Oliver looked defeated. His blue eyes, accented by a pair of round acetate reading glasses, were dull and half-lidded as though he had not slept in a week. But upon seeing Elise in the doorway, he forced a smile.
“Mornin’, Sunshine. I heard you worked hard last night.”
Elise hummed.
“I got a job at the diner in town.”
She was sure he knew that already, but she had nothing else to say about it. Venting to him about her issues, when he had his own, seemed insignificant. Elise tightened her jaw and sat down at the table across from him.
“I also heard you had a date planned,” he brought up with a teasing smile. “A week in Castle Rock and already I have to shoo people off the front porch looking to woo you.”
It was only one person. Elise pouted and tossed a glare at Nana who most likely told him.
“He was just being nice,” she deflected. “We were supposed to go to the drive-in with his friends, but I agreed to work a double.”
She opted not to mention that a jealous ex of his played her like a fool, or that Ace drove her home last night after her shift.
“And see what?” Asked Oliver with a raised brow.
“A science fiction horror flick; The Cabinet of Caligari,” Elise answered with a grin.
Her dad was a big-time horror movie fan, even more than her; he was the one who introduced her to the genre with “The Monkey's Paw”.
“That movie Roger Kay directed?” Oliver chirped.
Elise was not sure who directed it, but it was no surprise that her dad did. She shook her head.
“Estelle Winwood's torture scene from the trailer looked groovy, right?” Oliver asked.
Before Elise could answer, Nana tutted him.
“No nasty talk before breakfast.” She brought a loaf of fresh bread over to the table. “I don't know how you two can watch those scary movies. They're too much for me.”
Elise smiled. She liked the genre because it explored the unknown and the absurd. Creature features and slasher films were her favorite, but she understood Nana's dislike for them. Not everyone liked to feel scared.
With breakfast being done, Elise made herself a plate and sat back down at the table to eat. Her father and Nana joined her, but her mother did not seem to be coming down. She was neither thrilled nor disappointed.
“What do you plan to get into today, Sunshine?” Oliver asked.
Elise swallowed a bite of bread with strawberry jam.
“I'm going out later this evening with a friend.”
Nana raised a brow. “Mister Hunk again, huh?”
The blonde felt her face turn red. She ignored the curious look from her dad and nodded.
“He's just a friend.”
Nana hummed, obviously not buying it.
“I haven't met this ‘friend’ yet,” Oliver pointed out. “Is he picking you up later?”
“I'm meeting him at the pool hall,” Elise responded. She was happy that she asked Ace not to come by the house. It would be awkward. “I thought I would spend the morning here though.”
She was deflecting the conversation away from her, which seemed to work. Oliver snorted.
“Groovy. I thought we could go see that movie before your big date.”
Was he serious? Elise ignored the obvious jest he made toward her and grinned.
“Cool.”
–
After the movie, Elise was in a sour mood. It was not the film that deflated her - it was as campy and fun as she had imagined - but what happened after the theater in South Paris let out.
She was already on edge, finding out that shortly before they were meant to leave, Oliver asked Madeline to go with them.
Grin and bear it, hon. Grin and bear it. Advised Nana, seeing them off at the door.
Elise did her best. She tolerated the car ride; the awkward and silent tension. She even tolerated sitting between her parents at the theater, overhearing her mother sigh in disapproval every time something was said or done in an over-dramatic fashion that did not entertain her. That was tolerable. What happened next, though, pushed her over the line.
The car ride back was as quiet as it was on the 18-mile drive to South Paris. Elise stared out the window in boredom until her father broke the silence; she almost wished that he hadn't.
“What was your favorite part about the movie, Sunshine?”
Elise grinned.
“It's hard to say. I liked the corridor scene.”
Madeline snorted.
“That was ridiculous. I mean, was it even necessary to the movie?”
“It was a transition scene,” Oliver explained. “Not everything is straight forward in movies, dear."
No kidding, Madeline thought.
“I would have rather stayed at your mother's house and watched Breakfast at Tiffany's. That Paul Varjak is a hunk.”
So was Mr. Holbrook at the Derry Town Dump. It was not because of his money that she had an affair with him. Elise snorted an action that did not go unnoticed. She didn't realize that her mom had seen her and had given Oliver the ‘talk to your daughter’ look until he spoke up.
“I know this move hasn't been easy, Sunshine, but we came here to start anew. I think it's time we became a family again.”
Elise narrowed her eyes. She was not an outspoken person when it came to matters that irritated her. A time when she was a senior attending Derry High was a good example of her laid-back nature. Caroline Rourke, a mirror warmer was sore about her also being nominated to represent the drama department in the Homecoming parade.
Do you even own a dress? She asked, cornering her in the hall after class.
Elise was furious, but in the end, neither of them won. The vote went to Ella Thurber, someone who deserved it more; someone who ate, slept, and breathed Drama Class. She could have been a bitch, she could have stooped to Caroline's level like a chided five-year-old, but it wasn't in her nature to lash at someone.
Oliver Kensington's ‘turn the other cheek’ statement pushed her over the edge.
“A happy family,” Elise restated in disbelief. “We stopped being a happy family when Madeline decided we weren't good enough for her.”
“Elise Josephine, you know that isn't true,” Oliver argued.
He did not raise his voice, nor did he scold her, but he used her name. Elise Josephine. It was always Sunshine, never Elise Josephine unless she upset him. But why? Did the truth unnerve him? More than the lie he was asking her to commit to.
A stiff apology is a second insult... The injured party does not want to be compensated because he has been wronged; he wants to be healed because he has been hurt. G.K. Chesterton said this. She felt comfort in it.
“It is though. You know it, Dad. Just because you want to go on pretending like it isn't bothering you, doesn't mean I have to,” Elise stated. “Somebody should be mad - it might as well be me.”
Madeline did not say a word. Her shoulders were tense. Her face was red like a child about ready to have a tantrum, but she did not say a word. The rest of the trip home was as silent as the grave.
When it came time for her to meet up with Ace, Elise did not even utter a word to the Kensington family as she stormed out the front door and down Willow Street toward the pool hall.
By the time she arrived, she recognized Ace's Ford Classic in the nearby lot and stopped outside Irby's to take a deep and uneasy breath. Her heart was racing, partially because of the walk and partially because of the heated back-and-forth argument she had with herself on the way. It felt like there was an angel on one shoulder and a devil on the other.
You should apologize, Angel Elise insisted. A proper lady should not act like a scorned child. Forgive and forget.
Fuck that, Devil Elise snorted. You thought it yourself; somebody has to be mad.
In the end, she just chose to ignore them both. She would deal with it later. Like Ace had said, the rest of the day, you'll be mine. Elise intended to make good on his statement. It was the least she could do.
Patting her warm face, she walked into the pool hall. There was a crowd of adults and teenagers alike, roaming around. It reminded her of the first time she walked in, only this time, there was no Eyeball or Charlie. There was only her and Ace. The latter, she saw, was looming over a pool table, dressed in a tight-fitting black shirt and jeans.
He did not seem to notice her as she approached, watching him a moment as he took a shot, sinking a striped 11 ball into the center-left pocket. Elise clapped.
“Wow! It's hard to believe you lost that one time.”
Ace peeked over his shoulder and grinned.
“Can't win ‘em all.”
She knew he was lying. He could have one. It mattered not, at least not anymore.
“Have you been here long?” Elise asked.
She felt a little bad if he had, but fortunately, Ace shook his head.
“What matters is you came,” he stated. He offered her the cue in his hand. “Wanna play with me?”
Elise narrowed her eyes. “You know I'm no good.”
She said the same thing when he first met her too.
“I'll make it more interesting for you,” Ace proposed. “If you win, I'll do whatever you want, and vice versa.”
“Within reason, right?” Elise pressed.
Ace grinned, then nodded. He positioned the billiard balls in the rack, then took a step back, setting the triangle aside.
“Cue up.”
“You can break,” Elise interjected. She was not confident in her ability to do so.
Ace wet his lips, then positioned the cue and took the shot. He sank the striped 10 ball, then went again, missing the second time; Elise was almost certain that he did it on purpose. She took the cue when offered.
With an uneasy breath, she aimed for the solid 1 ball but missed. Ace snorted in response, earning a playful glare from her.
“I told you so.”
She just needed to loosen up a bit.
“What type of music do you like?” Ace asked.
Elise hummed. The question was so sudden that it took her off guard for a moment. Her face heated up.
“Um…rock, R&B, and country mostly.” The Temptations and Johnny Cash were two of her favorites. “Is this what we're doing? 21 questions.”
“Figured we'd continue our game,” Ace retorted.
Elise did not see why not. She watched him sink another shot and huffed. “Do you have any siblings?”
“I'm an only child,” Ace answered promptly.
He rested his hand on Elise's lower back as he walked around her, grinning as she tensed. Lining up his next shot, he missed; this time for real.
“Are you friends with any of your exes?”
She frowned. His question was a little personal, but she allowed it. Elise leaned in and aimed at the 5 ball, sinking it. She beamed.
“There was one - Billy Collins. We started as friends, so after the relationship ended, we decided to stay friends.”
Ace thought about asking her whether the two had fucked or not but opted against it. He doubted that Elise would tell him. She seemed a bit prudish when it came to things like that. He was almost certain that she was a virgin.
Elise took her second shot, also sinking it much to her disbelief. She gave Ace an ‘eat that’ smile.
“I thought you weren't good at pool,” Ace brought up.
She seemed determined not to let him win for some reason. He assumed that she was nervous about what he wanted from her. She should be.
“Lucky shot,” Elise retorted with a grin.
Unfortunately, the third time was not the charm; she missed the shot and groaned, leaning against the table in defeat. The purple 4 would have been an easier shot, but she second-guessed it. She watched Ace sink the 13 in the corner pocket and stuck out her tongue when he returned the ‘eat that’ look she had given him. At this rate, she was going to lose.
Elise sighed, “If I lose, what are you going to ask from me?”
Ace did not expect her to ask. He grinned. Perhaps he should tell her to wait and find out. A part of him, however, wanted to gauge her expression.
“I was gonna ask for a kiss.” Would she throw the game knowing this? Or play harder?
Elise felt her heart begin to race. He wanted to kiss her. She did not know what to say.
I had a feeling he might try, but I didn't know it would be so soon.
Did she want to kiss him? Elise swallowed hard.
“It…it's still your turn.”
For the remainder of the game, she took each shot more seriously. It was not because she didn't want to kiss Ace, it was because she was a nervous wreck. There was no way in the state she was in that she would be decent. It was embarrassing.
Luck seemed to be with at least. Elise managed to nearly even the score. She had one solid left. Ace had none; he had won. All he needed to do was sink the 8 ball. Easy peasy. And it was his turn.
“What was the question again?” Elise asked.
She hardly heard him.
“What was your nickname as a child?” Ace repeated with a grin.
She frowned. Another kiddie question. He might as well have asked what her favorite color was - purple. Elise knew what he was doing. Since he told her that he wanted a kiss, he had toned down his questions, even when she continued to low-key ask him about his life. Either he was doing it to ease her appreciation, which was not helping, or he was toying with her. Elise clutched her cue.
“Sunshine. My dad still calls me that.” Unless he's upset. She frowned for a brief moment, recalling the events from earlier; the events that led to him calling her by her name. Elise Josephine.
Ace looked at the 8 ball, at Elise briefly, noticing the frown, but choosing to ignore it, then back. “Sunshine, huh?”
It suited her. She had a sunny disposition that chased away the dark clouds over his head.
After losing the Brower kid's body to Lachance and his friends in the summer of 1960, Ace had a plethora of bad luck befall him. It was a breath of fresh air, after two years, for something to go right for him.
It conflicted him, so when Ace took his shot, he purposely sunk the solid.
“Hey!” Elise exclaimed.
“Bad luck,” Ace lied.
He had the upper hand. This was almost the same underhanded tactic he used when she first met him.
“Play fair,” Elise grumbled.
“Who says I'm not,” Ace argued. He motioned toward the table. “Your turn.”
She tightened her jaw. What game was he playing at? Elise stepped into position and studied the table. A win was too easy. She considered fouling, just to be a brat, but she was not like that. She was not like Ace, who sacrificed for a bigger game. No. She was honest.
Elise took the shot and won the game. She was irritated.
“The ball is in your court, darling,” Ace declared, meaning she got to ask something of him.
He leaned against the table beside her, shoulders touching, but Elise did not look at him. A dusting of red covered her cheeks.
“You could have won,” she pointed out.
“Yeah,” Ace agreed.
Elise knitted her brows. So, why didn't he? She had a hunch, but she wasn't sure.
“An answer…that's what I want from you.” She faced him. “The truth.”
“That was the deal,” he assured her.
Elise was hesitant, but she asked anyway.
“Why did you throw the game?”
Ace grinned. His blue eyes seemed to twinkle.
“To give you a choice.”
A choice. To what? The answer suddenly hit Elise like a bucket of cold water to the face. He was giving her a choice on whether she would allow him to kiss her or not. He could have won and asked for the kiss, but he wanted her to want it too. Her heart began to race.
Before she could figure out what to say or what to do, Irby announced the hall was about to close. It was Elise, Ace, and a group of friends who remained; she hardly noticed them roaming about.
“Go on outside to the car and I'll clean up,” Ace commanded.
“Are you sure?” Elise asked in uncertainty.
He shook his head wordlessly. Handing him her cue, she walked outside and leaned against the with a huff. What the fuck was she supposed to do? She did not want Ace to think that she was not interested, because she was. By the time he sauntered out, she had come to a decision.
“You ready?” Ace asked.
Elise shook her head. “For what it's worth, I was rooting for you to win.”
He stopped short of the hood of his car and raised a curious brow; he was not expecting her to say that.
“Yeah. Before or after I told you what I'd ask for?”
“After,” Elise answered with a grin.
He was almost certain that she was lying, but he decided to roll with it. Walking around to the side of the car where she stood, he took her arm, feeling how tense she was, and leaned in to kiss her.
Goosebumps littered her arms. If asked, Elise would say that kissing Ace was like listening to an instrumental, or a song whose lyrics and music raised an intense, but brief reaction of excitement. When they parted, she almost whined.
“I guess we both win,” Ace stated.
Elise shook her head. “I'm still gonna tell everyone I wiped the floor with you in a game of pool.”
Ace grinned and poked her nose, hearing her pout in protest, then leaned in and kissed her again.
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looping this song and thinking about those two years in chicago where i didn’t do a damn thing. thinking about the maze, the paralysis, the void, thinking about how the only thing that’s different now is me, and how i’m not that different, i’m just older and i know more about how to navigate myself, even if putting that knowledge into effect is challenging. calibrating my sense of class-proprioception - sure, I’m periodically artificially maintained at a middle-class lifestyle by the generosity of friends who are actually middle-class, but then aren’t like half of middle-class millennials periodically artificially maintained at a middle-class lifestyle by their parents, and what’s so different about that?
anyway i am working on getting a job, sometimes, but i’m also working on a short story, a D&D campaign, fuckin...wifelink lmao. i’m trying to read more poetry, i’m trying to read more lesbian fiction (Terry Castle’s The Apparitional Lesbian has given me a list i’ll be working through for some time. I’m starting with The Haunting of Hill House.) still writing poetry now and again, too. i’ve got friends here who are generous with their time and resources and space (me to my new co-op friends this week: so i can just like, show up here unannounced at y’all’s house and walk in and hang out and do work, like, whenever? them, emphatically: yes.)
also i really like boston, when i get out of the apartment to do more than get groceries! i got an aquarium membership so i can go look at big catfish and lobsters whenever i want now. i got my library card and fucking love going to hang out at the copley square library. the john singer sargent mural room? The Triumph of Religion? g-d that fucks. problematic as all hell but jeeeeeeesus does it fuck. and eventually one of these universities will hire me, and maybe i’ll be able to finish a degree while working there. history, maybe? frankly i would love to have an advanced degree in history of science one of these days. i have thoughts and opinions about 17th-century dutch entomologists.
anyway i guess this was a life update. alright
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Little Red Eye (Part 1 of 6)
Have you ever had the pleasure of holding a digital recorder up to someone and watched ‘em squirm as they realise they have no way of denying their words, that you can quote ‘em on anything and everything and they can’t stop you? That you have total control thanks to that tiny, insignificant blinking red eye?
Nah, I didn’t think so.
That little red eye got thrown out in the age of the camera, mobile phone and home made listening bug… But oh! To feel the joy of that miniature crimson God! I still keep mine, purely for nostalgia and economical purposes (you can’t always afford a top-of-the-line camera to do your dirty work) but I make do. You can still watch the older folk squirm when they see that little red eye work it’s way into life, telling you that all the vibrations in the room are going to be chronicled onto a piece of film that will stand the test of time.
Though I might be gettin' on (though 40 years is not that long to be alive) I still make the dough with my truth. Granted, my first fiction novel was absolute shit, but when I rolled on down to the world of critical analysis of the state of the world I was bringing more than enough punch. Fiction was never my game you see, I'm more of a... oh what do you call 'em? Not critics- Visionary! There ya go! I'm more of a visionary than a fiction writer. My last book, The State is quite a page (and head) turner. Made me six thou did that one, six thousand dollars for a crappy book about how the world needs prominent change. Teens, southerners and crazy people buy my books, and I might only be one of those things and let me tell you, as long as my sorry ass is bringing in money from a place I grew up almost 300 miles from I'm set. Don't know how I even got into this buisness, I had three drinks, blacked out and viola, six weeks later I get damn Royalty check! A Royalty check! For a guy who writes books that don't even make any fucking sense! But I'll tell you something, my next gig is really gonna make 'em squeal. Disproving ghosts is just money in the bank I tell ya, not a damn thing can go wrong! I'll admit, sleeping in creepy old hotels and castles is gonna be no walk in the park, but I can certainly do anything for a little moolah to keep Daddy happy (Daddy is me by the way ahaha). The first place I'm going is this little hot spot in Manhattan. The Patterson Hotel they call it. Apparently it's super haunted and all that bull. When you die, I agree with the Jews, you're gone. Poof. One second you're here and then bang, you're worm food. Nothing more, nothing less.
Ah shit, I gotta go catch my flight.
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I don't think I'd want to move out of my house. I rather love it here.
But I'd donate a million dollars to all the symphony orchestras in australia, but two million to my hometown and get them to do more concerts conducted by Guy Noble because Mum and I are both fans.
I'd also donate a couple of million dollars to the zoo so they can keep enriching all the animal environments. ditto monarto.
Oh, and I'd start a non-profit focused on paying vet bills for people on all kinds of pensions, so no one has to put down their furry friend because they can't afford an operation.
I'd find a decent entertainment lawyer so I didn't look like a nut when I get into contact with Complete Fiction and offer to fund the entire second season of Lockwood & co on the condition they do a complete physical media release including dvd commentary and all the deleted scenes.
and fuck it, for weekends and the hottest part of summer I'd buy a giant plot of land down in Victor Harbor (an hour drive away and fuck the Hills, man, I'm not risking losing this to a damn bushfire) and I would build a GOTHIC CASTLE with gargoyles based on How to train your dragon and maybe some B -movie aliens and yes, I will have stained glass windows from star trek AND a secret door to the library that looks like the tardis. The library itself will have enough shelves to give Belle an orgasm on the spot. It might just have a mosaic floor but it would be Shakespeare and Sherlock Holmes.
The screening room would have recliners and a mural of the classic Monster mash - Dracula, Frankenstein's monster, the wolfman, the mummy, jason, freddy, chucky, ghostface, michael and some kind of tentacled thing in there somewhere cause obviously.
Maybe I'll save Godzilla vs the Hogwarts giant squid for the bottom of the pool?
And a proper gazebo and/or a summerhouse in the back so mum can knit while she listens to talking books and my smallest nephew can have a sand pit big enough to run his own construction site.
And carefully disguised solar panels everywhere, because renewable energy is important but not to ruin the castle vibe.
And once a month I'll hire a cinema to do a film festival of anime movies, including ALL the Detective Conan movies so I can finally get to see them when they're actually coming out. Or Jim Henson studios. Or all the Agatha Christie movies I can get my hands on, including the BBC specials but not the most recent Marple series because fuck that shit, you do not change the murderer/s because gay people are fashionable - they are cool, but that does not justify changing the solution of some of the english language's greatest mysteries because you want something set in the nineteen thirties - fifties to be 'modern and relevant' Gay people have been around for thousands of years, there's nothing 'modern and relevant' about them.
Speaking of anime, I'd donate some to AVcon on the condition that they actually put some fucking A(nime) back on the schedule (what kind of anime and video game convention doesn't have a fucking screening room???? AVcon 2023, that's who!) and I get to curate the classics room. Same to oz comic-con and supanova so they can have a screening room again - seriously, four special guests who are anime voice actors and you don't get a screening room to see their work??
Oh, and I'd buy one of the empty warehouses down in port adelaide and rehab it into one or two bedroom flats because single women over fifty are the demographic most at risk of homelessness, with plenty of room for car parking because even couples have two cars these days.
And I'd bribe the government into high-speed trains between all the capital cities from brisbane down to adelaide because I'm sick of puking everytime I spend more than half an hour in a damn plane.
"you hate capitalism because you're jealous of rich people" well I wouldn't mind having an in-ground pool but there's also other reasons to hate capitalism such as the fact that owning a chocolate company that doesn't use fucking child slavery earns you praise because it's so uncommon, or the fact that it by design results in repeat economic collapses when the average consumer can't afford to stimulate the economy, or the fact that our future (and current) existence on planet earth is full of detrimental environmental disasters because pursuing fossil fuels was more profitable in the short-term, or the fact that entire wars are started specifically to make money, or...yeah the list goes on
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Sorry if this is a bit overwhelming, but for my ask game: 1,2,6,8,11,12,13,16,20,25,26,27,28,30. I wouldn't mind if you have to skip some!
Writer (& Artist) Ask Game
It's not overwhelming at all, hun! I promise. Just takes a bit longer for me to answer, that's all.
1: Who was your first ever OC? Do you still “use” them? How have they evolved over time?
My first OC that I can recall, I think, was a FusionFall OC based off of my player character when the game was still put out by Cartoon Network. She has changed so damn much since then, mostly because it's been about ten or so years since her creation. From name to appearance to backstory, things have been tweaked and shifted around over the years whenever the fixation falls back to her and her universe. I still want to do something with her and make a comic for her, but I've been struggling to do that because I've been more focused on other projects of mine. Hopefully I can give her the love she properly deserves one day.
2: Who is your newest OC? Why did you make them?
....do D&D characters count? I've really wanted to play Dungeons and Dragons, but I've never found a group or a dungeon master and those campaigns that I've been apart of never got off the ground and had a first session. So, sometimes I create characters for fun such as one based off of Sailor Moon and another loosely inspired by my favorite book. This OC is not that latter one. I got an idea from Tales from the Stinky Dragon's Grotethe campaign (which I need to catch up on, so no spoilers please!) to make a character inspired from Frankenstein's monster. She's a Hunter Ranger named Evelith -- a creation of her 'father' who has hazy memories of her past due to a head injury. Whether or not that father of hers was a good man is up in the air, as she only has faint memories to go on against the word of those who know the name Frankenstein. This is why she goes by 'Freeman' when she has to give a surname instead -- to hide her connection to the infamous doctor.
6: Do you have any OCs without stories? Will you ever create one for them?
If my OCs are without stories, you can bet that they will eventually find a place in one.
8: Do you have any OC family trees?
I actually do for my JJBA OCs and the alternate universe they inhabit! It was done mostly so I could look at everything as a whole without getting a headache and everything all tangled in my head. I call it Mickey's Fucked Up Family Tree, and if anyone wants to take a look at it, it can be found here.
11: Sum up one or more of your wips!
Swan Lake and the Nutcracker smashed together, but it's all gay.
12: Which story took the most research?
🤔 I... don't know. I think it might have been Monsters and Magic? I had to do a lot of research to find the right match of monster for those characters, and even more for their abilities and the like. I still need to look things up time to time for that.
16: What was you first major project? How far along is it?
RWBY in My Hero on the grounds that it's the only one that got past the first part. It's going pretty well, and after a hiatus, I've been slowly easing myself back into it while trying to figure out what to do about future installments after the PLW arc.
20: What story are you the proudest of? Why?
Make Every Moment Last. There is a very specific reason for that one, and it's the fact that I managed to update biweekly on that one from October 2021 to June 2022 without missing a single update. Still surprised I managed to do that, and proud of myself for managing it.
25: What’s your favourite genre to write? Is it also your favourite genre to read?
I love writing fantasy and science fiction. Same for reading, but historical fiction also pops up here and there.
26: What are your favourite books?
My favorite novel is Howl's Moving Castle. It's a comfort book for me and was the one that got me to start reading for fun again after I had to read Lord of the Flies in high school which ruined reading for me for years.
27: What are your favourite movies?
That all depends on my mood, to be honest. However, I will always turn to older films that I enjoyed when I was younger or something that satisfies my love for fantasy, found family and the occult for comfort and joy.
28: Favourite songs at the moment?
...I would be lying if I said that the songs from Hazbin Hotel don't randomly pop into my head from time to time and get stuck there.
30: How are you doing? <3
I'm doing pretty good! Just finished dinner and watching Practical Magic with the family sans my youngest brother. He's not a fan of romance, even if it's a sub-genre.
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I'm curious for someone else's perspective on this; when I was an American high schooler, I used to read a fic that was about high-school aged characters exploring sex and their sexualities. This was fine, good even cuz the fic was very well written and helped give me perspective on things I could potentially go through. Then I grew up. Now it feels... I don't know, kind of wrong for me to go back and re-read the fic. It is about underage sex and coming of age, but now that I'm no longer in that age group it feels faintly shifty for me to read. In the end it doesn't Really matter, but do you have any thoughts about growing out of an intended audience?
--
Who writes those things though? Who writes them well?
I know we love the myth of the young savant who's a brilliant writer as a teen, but writing is one of those crafts people hone over decades. A lot of the really insightful writing about coming of age is not only from a more skilled and older writer but from someone who is insightful because they are no longer that age themselves. They lived through it. They saw what came after. It gave them perspective they wouldn't have had at the time.
Regarding that fic, who is the intended audience? I wouldn't bet on it being teens. Plenty of coming of age stories are aimed at adults looking back nostalgically.
As a kid, I loved My Father's Glory and My Mother's Castle, but they weren't for kids. Nobody thinks Pagnol was not allowed to write memoir or that other adults aren't allowed to enjoy it. We saddle women and genre fiction with this crap about not being allowed. Highfallutin literary stuff is always allowed.
When I was a high schooler, in the 90s, most high school fic was being written by way older writers because most fic writers were older back then. Nowadays, it varies widely. You can't assume that writer was in high school or that they assumed their whole audience was either.
You are entitled to relate to art about experiences in your past.
This is normal and should be seen as such. Instead, we have some bullshit moral panic about ~pedo~. And for fuck sake, half the audience of teen stuff is queer adults who aren't that old and are still in Figuring Shit Out mode and wish they'd been there as teens or people who are in that same boat because of abuse or family tragedy or whatever, even if they're cishet and gender normative. Sometimes, you get there late and you wish you hadn't. There are sensible reasons people are hung up on the high school years for a while in addition to the fact that anybody should be able to read whatever they damn well please.
I do think it's possible to grow out of an intended audience and that this can be a negative experience though.
If you personally find you only read narratives where all of the heroes find themselves or do great things at 18 and you're 45 and now you feel like a has-been, maybe that's a problem. Maybe you need some literature about finding yourself in middle age and about how it's never too late to start again. I honestly do think people can hurt their own mental health by never consuming anything where someone their own age gets to be interesting and cool and where everyone is supposed to have everything figured out decades prior to their current age. But that's not a problem with the art, and it's not a problem with reading one example, and it's not even a problem for every reader.
I do find that there's sometimes an overlap between people who are super weird about YA and people who are desperately clinging to childhood and insisting that they're in a super different life phase from other adults who are a bit older but who also haven't settled down or reached various milestones. There can be a connection between feeling like you're aging out and engaging in unhealthy lashing out and denial because you're afraid of change.
The majority of people read a variety of things and just enjoy what they enjoy and don't worry about it though.
If you want to read the damn thing, read it.
I don't think you're obligated to feel icky doing so, but feelings are not logical, so if you do feel weird about it, it might not be fun anymore. In that case, find something else to read.
Basically, you're overthinking this and borrowing trouble when you really don't need to.
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Why are vampires attractive?
Some of you may have noticed, but I have a bit of a thing for vampires. I find them to be fascinating, compelling characters and a great literary device for exploring darker themes, but they are also undeniably sexy and charming. So much so that the “suave vampire” trope has replaced the monster of folklore in popular works of fiction for like the past two hundred years. Monsters and horror themes reflect the fears of their time period, so why have vampires seen such a transformation and carried over so well throughout time? Why have popular vampire stories changed so dramatically in the past fifty-ish years, and why are they sexy? This is basically a thesis with more cursing, puns, and a lot more NSFW content. Enjoy, and let me know if you connect to any of this!
* The word “queer” will be used in this post in a reclaimed way.
Rating: Explicit 18+ MDNI
Word count: 1.7k
This is not directly Arcane related, but it is sort of the preface for my next Silco fic.
Warnings: Blood, violence, general vampire stuff, mentions of specific kinks (biting, bloodplay, sadism, masochism, dominance, submission, corruption, consensual non-consent, somnophilia, bondage, voyeurism, praise, degradation), references to sex
How in the world did this even happen?
I’m glad you asked. First, let’s start with some vampire history. The vampires of folklore tapped into some of the most common fears of humanity: death, what happens after death, and disease. If you look into cultures around the world, you’re pretty much always going to find some kind of being with assorted vampire traits. Many of them are grotesque distortions of dead bodies, so there are a metric fuck-ton of stories about peasants trying anything to make sure their dead stayed buried. This was such a big deal it influenced death rites and terrified people for hundreds of years. If vampires were so feared, then why in the hell did they transition from bloated, disgusting undead to the rich, charming predators with an innately sexual connotation?
As with most things in literature, we can probably blame my favorite disaster poet: Lord Byron. In 1819, his physician John Polidori wrote “The Vampyre,” based the notorious Lord Ruthven off of Bryon, and revamped the whole concept. Surprise! Lord Ruthven was not a gross, undead corpse. Instead, he took his traits from Byron, so he was a charming, handsome, cold-hearted bastard who was a bit of a womanizer. Think Strahd von Zarovich from the Dungeons and Dragons module Curse of Strahd. Ruthven had a distinct bloodlust for attractive women, and he would seduce them in order to kill them and drink their blood. That was the first nail in the coffin of the old vampire mythology.
Sheridan Le Fanu’s Carmilla was the next one. Carmilla was a female vampire who forever tied vampires with themes of non-heteronormative love. She drank the blood of beautiful women and shared some extremely innuendo-laden feelings with the female protagonist. Seriously, Carmilla bites her on the breast. There is zero doubt that Carmilla and Laura aren’t sexually interested in each other. Lust and bloodlust are inseparable in this story, which further ties vampires to sex and inspired a LOT of tropes found in Bram Stoker’s Dracula.
Finally, there’s the book we all knew I’d be talking about: Dracula. If you haven’t read the book, I highly recommend you do. Saying it’s a cornerstone of Gothic/vampire literature is one hell of an understatement. However, if The Vampyre drove the first nail in the coffin of sex being tied to vampires, Dracula buried the whole damn thing. The three vampire women that prey on Jonathan Harker in Castle Dracula are described as sexy and animalistic. Their lust and bloodlust for him, and his lust for them in return, is extremely vividly detailed. Dracula, like Ruthven and Carmilla, preys on beautiful women, but it is slightly different. Dracula himself is far from sexy; his description is more like the vampires of folklore. For him, there is no detailed seduction or reciprocated feelings of longing in the book. Instead, the sex metaphor is in the biting and sucking of blood itself.
Vampire bites and feeding is one massive sexual innuendo. In the dark of the night, a dominant figure bites and penetrates a submissive figure. There is often a brief struggle, a release of pent-up lust, an exchange of life-sustaining body fluids, and, as outdated and wrong as this is, the submissive figure is often changed for life by the experience. The puncturing of the skin by fangs can also be seen as the long-perpetuated myth* of the hymen tearing during virginal sex. You really can’t get a more blatantly obvious sex metaphor.
* The hymen tearing during virginal sex is an incredibly misogynistic and outdated view that is not true. A hymen can tear from many things besides sex, and the virginity complex built around it is horribly damaging to afab people. However, I decided to mention it because it is relevant to the topic.
So, they were tied with sex like two hundred years ago. Why is this relevant to why they are sexy now?
Excellent question, and here’s where the NSFW stuff starts! Let’s talk about why vampires are sexy. As I mentioned earlier, female vampires are just as deeply tied to lust as male vampires; they hold just as much sexual power and prowess. The whole vampire sex situation is usually a bit outside the realm of “socially accepted” sex. Three vampire women seduce the same man at the same time, Lord Ruthven overtly seduces women, Carmilla initiates same-sex relationships, and the ancient Dracula preys on young, beautiful women.
Vampires are also frequently depicted with unquenchable lust and many superhuman qualities like strength and stamina. They frequently challenge the young, socially-acceptable love interest and it is very heavily alluded to that the vampires oppose them in almost every way. The young love interest represents wholesome love, and the vampire is dark, possessive, and lustful. See where I’m going with this? Throw in the whole damnation/religious aversion thing for people with religious trauma, and vampires are the whole package.
Vampires usually lend themselves extremely well to exploring multiple kinks, especially those in the realm of BDSM. Those kinks include but are not limited to biting, bloodplay, sadism, masochism, dominance, submission, corruption, consensual non-consent, somnophilia, bondage, voyeurism, praise, degradation, and probably many others. There’s a whole spectrum of reasons to be attracted to vampires, but kink is certainly one of them.
What about the sparkly variety?
Ah, fine. I had to talk about it eventually. Currently, modern society has a lot of things figured out. The world isn’t a mystical, dangerous place where the dead rise from the grave to exact revenge on the living. Vampires definitely still have their place in modern horror because humanity will never not fear death, damnation, and disease, but why do they have a place in romance (besides kinky sex)? A lot of men stake the popularity of vampire romances like Twilight on the fact that people attracted to Edward Cullen simply want someone to fix. They label all modern vampires as the “emotional, bleeding-heart, poetry writing, hipster with violent tendencies,” and I think this does a great disservice to both vampires and the people attracted to them. “People only want someone to fix” is a trope that I’m not personally a fan of (I actually hate it) because it produces a bunch of toxic, unhealthy relationships.
That being said, what’s up with the vampire lovers? I have a few theories. Firstly, the heart of the current pop-fiction vampire is almost always conflicted by their vampirism. This kind of started with Ann Rice’s Interview with the Vampire. The vampire recognizes the insatiable bloodlust they feel, but they fight against it and try to keep their morals. This causes them to be outcasts and “others” from their own society when they were already outcasts from human society to begin with. With modern society being so connected through technology and extremely judgemental, almost everyone can relate to the feeling of being an outcast to some degree. Vampires become one of many sympathetic characters for people who feel they have also been pushed aside in society. They would understand being an outcast and what all that entails. A mutual understanding and appreciation of each others’ trauma is a very, very solid basis for romance to be built on.
Secondly, modern vampires (and monsters/villains in general) aren’t often held to the same confines as heroes. Vampires like Carmilla were often queer-coded before queerness became more socially acceptable (we still have a long way to go). They were also allowed to have deep feelings, go against the accepted order of society, and care too passionately about those they love. Basically, they had personalities and struggles that the audience could connect to, while the hero often had the emotional range of wet cardboard. Overly Sarcastic Productions has an excellent video on queer-coded villains that touches on a lot of this that I’ll link here. Typically, if the hero’s love interest has to be sacrificed for the greater good, it’s going to happen. The hero will get to be sad or angry about it for like five minutes, but they eventually have to get over it because it was necessary for the sake of the world/greater good/etc. Vampires and other characters not held to that moral standard can be selfish or seek revenge. Dracula from the Castlevania series is a case in point. So, people who have been deeply hurt, discarded by others, or simply feel like they are always the second choice can be extremely drawn to this concept. If the vampire loved them, they would always be the first choice, and their love would almost tear the world apart for their safety.
There’s also something to be said about modern society seeing relationships between ordinary, unassuming people end horribly because one of them is a real-life monster. So, there’s a certain kind of relief in imagining a traditional monster like a vampire turning out to be loving, protective, and caring. Also, being chosen by a vampire as a romantic partner means they are committed to you literally for eternity. It’s not a brief commitment when you will both live forever.
TLDR: Blame Lord Byron for sexy vampires. Vampires are tied to kink/unconventional sex and queer sex, and the thought of an emotionally intelligent, powerful being that is sometimes conflicted but can protect what it loves is a whole lot more compelling basis for a relationship than “people want a partner to fix.”
I’m going to cite two more videos by Overly Sarcastic Productions on youtube. One is on Bram Stoker’s Dracula and the other is a discussion of Dracula’s characterization and a really excellent scene from Castlevania.
Tags: @saradika @milf-thrawn-nuruodo @thefact0rygirl @milf-obi-wan-kenobi @hereforthesunrise @ashotofspotchka @my-awakened-ghost @evarinaandlat @mysticalgalaxysalad @daydreamingvampire @shadow-pancake9
#let's talk about vampires#vampires#vampire#in this essay i will#I have literally no idea how to tag this#Lyria rambles#dracula#count dracula#bram stoker#carmilla#castlevania#vlad tepes#carmilla karnstein#the vampyre#lord ruthven#strahd von zarovich
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