#but from what I know of H's songwriting process

[iamnotawomanimagod]

I don't actually think Halsey sat down to write the songs on The Great Impersonator and thought "I'm gonna do a Bowie song" or "I'm gonna do an Aaliyah song"

I think they probably wrote the poetry for the songs, found and worked with producers, and through the process, uncovered the various influences in each song (that exist for every artist in every song btw) and started to lean into it in terms of the production. And then the album concept came together.

I think people are taking the "this song is inspired by this artist" thing a little too seriously. The influences are definitely there, but I don't think it's actually meant to be a 1:1. I think it was primarily for promo and the photoshoots, tbh.

[veelaa]

DO I WANNA KNOW? - ETHAN LANDRY 🎸 (SONGWRITER!Ethan)

SUMMARY: your ex boyfriend is a famous songwriter and singer who writes many songs. ever since you broke his heart, he’s not able to get over you. his only way of escaping reality is writing songs about how he feels.

warnings: angst?, some sort of toxic relationship.

~~~~~~~~~~~~

it had been about 6 months since you broke up with your most recent ex, ethan. you have made it clear that you didn’t want any songs written about you no matter what, but of course he couldn’t obey.

you made sure to keep distance from his songs since they always made your stomach turn. you simply just didn’t wanna be reminded of him in any way.

he was a well known artist as well which made things worse, his whole fanbase of girls sided with him, without knowing the real story behind your breakup. but you didn’t wanna try and solve everything. you decided to show some mercy by not exposing his toxic habits.

but of course that meant you’d have to keep a low profile in order to not get jumped by some stray fans. every brain cell inside your brain yelled at you to reveal the truth, but you were a good person at heart and you decided to live life, which you eventually got over him after that painful process of continuous hate comments and constant nights of crying.

~~~~~~~~~~~~

you were sitting at the bar, no thought of ethan lingering in your mind anymore. you have fully healed from the toxicity of his fans and your relationship.

you heard the small bell at the door ring which caught your attention, making you break out of that small reverie that you were just in.

he was wearing a black leather coat jacket and you immediately were attracted to him. you didn’t know why, but attire was definitely an attractive aspect to you.

your eyes followed his every body movement. he was about the same height as your ex boyfriend which made your stomach turn. it couldn’t possibly be him. you knew that he was on tour or fucking another girl. you were sure that it wasn’t him.

you rolled your eyes and finished your drink, the relaxing sting of the alcohol hitting your throat which calmed down your mind for a few.

you fought everything in yourself to not look. you knew that it wasn’t ethan, you knew that you were over him but all of a sudden he’s popped back into your mind, interrupting your peace that you have been working on for months.

you gave in and turned around. you turned around at the exact time he began to speak. your heart pounded at the sound of his voice.

“can i have a bronx cocktail?” his voice was loud and clear. your heart dropped into your stomach. it was him. it was ethan.

the bartender obviously got straight to work, knowing that ethan was a famous artist and he was a top priority to many.

you spun your chair the other way, your back facing the direction ethan was just standing in. you could hear his boots stomp against the soft wood floor which made you feel sick to your stomach. you were in the same room as him. you were literally breathing the same air as him.

you turned your head to look over your shoulder. you softly gasped to yourself. he was walking towards you. you hoped that he hadn’t noticed you at all and he had another friend at the bar, but to no avail, he stopped right beside you, making you sulk into the stool that you were sitting on.

“long time no see.” his voice made you wanna burst out into tears. you kept denying the fact that you missed him, but now, you couldn’t keep denying it anymore. “yeah.” you answered, nodding before cautiously turning your head, meeting his deep brown eyes that you used to admire.

you chugged your drink down while he repositioned himself, now standing in front of you. he had a sly smirk on his face, the one you always hated whenever you knew that he was up to no good. the one he used whenever you confronted him about him possibly cheating on you.

“have you listened to any of my new releases?” ethan asked, taking a sip of his bronx cocktail. you couldn’t help but stare at his lips which perfectly hugged the rim of the glass that he was sipping out of.

you shook your head at the answer. “no, i really don’t got the time to.” you lied. you were trying to find a way to make him shoo. but you knew that he was like a parasite which is why it took you over a year to get rid of him.

ethan shook his head and laughed. “but you had so much time to listen to my music when we were together.. i see.” he answered. you felt your stomach turn even more. he was clever with his answers and you hated it.

“whatever.” you stood up from the stool and walked away, paying for your drinks that you just enjoyed. you hoped that ethan wouldn’t follow you or anything since you wanted absolutely nothing to do with him.

of course he followed you. you never really knew his intentions from the start which made you absolutely terrified of him.

you walked into a dark alleyway, finding a place to hit a smoke. you reached into your purse to try and find a cigarette and a lighter but there was nothing.

you then turned around on your heels to go walk back home but you were met with ethan once again. he looked better than ever. the streetlight brought out his most attractive features. you couldn’t help but admire him for a few seconds.

“c’mon. can’t we talk?” he begs, his soft lips forming a frown. he was a good manipulator and he was able to manipulate you into doing so many things which you definitely regret.

“not right now.” you said, annoyed, avoiding his gaze completely. he let out a light chuckle, his grin finally showing.

“not right now? c’mon. i really wanna know what could possibly be holding you back from having a small talk with me.” ethan said, his voice turning to a tone of disappointment and hurt which made you feel horrible at this point.

“fine.” you cross your arms and look at him. “spit it out.” you sighed and waited for his bullshit to come spewing out his mouth.

“y/n. i haven’t been able to get over you. i’m just too busy bein’ yours to fall for somebody new.” he began. you immediately roll your eyes at his desperate behavior. “i just wanna know if this feeling flows both ways..” he asked desperately. his body movements becoming more exaggerated.

“you’re horrible at manipulating.” you said angrily, knowing this was one of his tricks. but little did you know that this was one of his songs that he just released.

“i’ve dreamt about you nearly every night this week!” he admitted, his cheeks becoming flushed. “c’mon now.. i’m on the cusp of kissing you right now.” he inches forward which causes you to take a step back.

he was making your heart pound. you had no words left. you just wanted him to do the talking at this point. “we could be together.. if you wanted to.” he said, his face turning into one with puppy eyes. “and- and i was sorta hoping that you’d stay.” he added on.

“i would’ve stayed if you weren’t such a shitty boyfriend.” you began to get more angry. he was wasting your time and you had better things to do.

he gulped and began once again. “c’mon. just crawl back to me. come back to me.” he pleaded, his voice cracking from trying too hard at acting desperate.

“do you want me crawling back to you? because i don’t think i’d do that.” you started to become extremely annoyed now. he was spewing his bullshit once again.

“you never even thought of calling when you had a few. but you know what? i always do. i still care about you.” his words started to make you feel extremely guilty. you thought he’d changed. you hoped that he changed.

“i was wondering if your heart’s still open.. and if so i wanna know what time it shuts.” he inched closer. at this point you just gave up. “simmer down and pucker up, babe.” he said before inching once more to you, smashing his lips onto yours.

you wanted to fight him off but of course your body craved this. you craved ethan so much that you had to deny him.

you kissed him passionately, your lips, teeth and tongue colliding. you wrapped your hands around his dark curls. oh you missed those curls between your fingers so much.

you both finally pulled away for a breath of air. he let out a small chuckle. “listen to the song, ‘do i wanna know’. i recently released it. do it for me, babe.” he whispers before giving you another passionate kiss, except it was more shorter.

~~~~~~~~~~~~

of course you listened to the song for him. your heart was still open, but only for him.

you liked the instrumental, but the lyrics is what sparked your interest the most. some lines felt more familiar than others.

you then remembered the night when ethan trapped you in an alleyway and you both made out. you realized that his ‘bullshit’ was actually song lyrics, and you knew that it was dedicated to you. he never wrote about any other girl besides you.

you received a text from him. “do you like the song? :)” he texted you which made your heart flutter. it was safe to say that you were both on good terms once again.

“oh ethan..” you whispered to yourself while shaking your head. you were head over heels for this man all over again..

~~~~~~~~~~~~

THIS ISN’T REQUESTED BUT I COULDN’T GET THIS IDEA OUT OF MY HEAD😭

[itsjunetime]

my favorite fall albums

fall needs its own music. like there's a specific type of music that is the music that must be played during fall and personally i feel like if i am not listening to that music at any time during fall, i'm doing it a disservice. so here's what i listen to to satisfy that urge (in no particular order, i think):

Peripheral Vision by Turnover

This is one of my most listened to, if not single most listened to, album of all time. It has gorgeous vocals and lyrics along with beautifully effected guitars that just hit you right in your core. I really like shoegaze and i feel like this album was my introduction to that genre, but i feel like it still has something over everything else in that sphere. The vocals and drums are clean and crisp, and you can feel everything so distinctly without it being muffled in a cloud of lo-fi post-processing that a lot of other shoegaze albums employ. I honestly don't think I've ever found another album quite like it.

Favorite Songs:

Cutting My Fingers Off

Dizzy On the Countdown

Like Slow Disappearing

Some Still Morning by Handsome Ghost

Personally, I feel like singer-songwriter or simple indie albums (which generally employ little more than a voice and a guitar, maybe a piano) are so hard to make interesting. This album, however, despite feeling similarly simple, really transports me to a different, more calmer and introspective, place. It really feels like a chat with a friend that you'd have while sitting up and watching the sunrise. The album does use simple guitar strumming or piano chords as the base for most of the songs, but also adds beautiful pads and/or background noises to most songs to fill out the sound, and every single song is beautiful. If you're wanting this kind of vibe, there is not a single skip on this album.

Vampires is also a fun little halloween song hehe

Favorite Songs:

Nightmare

Funeral

Massachusetts

Floral Prince by Field Medic

This is one of the more recent albums that I've discovered on this list, but it is maybe the most distinctly-fall-vibey. Field Medic's voice is very raw on this album, and can be a turnoff for some people, but I personally really like it. The style of guitar and warm feel that exists in all the songs on this record really make you feel like you're cozied up on a swing, watching the leaves change. It also has a nice variety of feels between the songs - some are loud and energetic, like 'talkin johnny & june', and others are much more contemplative and intimate, like 'bundle of hyacinths'.

This is also not the only album of Field Medic's that I love - 'mood ring baby' and 'henna tattoo' from 'fade into the dawn' also have similar vibes and are beautiful songs.

Favorite Songs:

i want you so bad it hurts

bundle of hyacinths

-h-o-u-s-e-k-e-y-z-

Always Repeating by Runnner

I think the thing I like the most about Runnner's music is the wide range of instrumentation. Besides guitar and piano to lay down the base of most songs, there's also choruses of woodwinds, frequent mandolin and banjo, harmonica, and strong harmonies in the vocals. This album honestly feels really similar to Floral Prince (to me, at least) in many ways, but is also really good at quickly switching vibes to make you feel alone or forgotten - i think it fits well as a late-fall-to-winter album in that way.

Favorite Songs:

Ur Name on a Grain of Rice

Monochrome

Trundle Bed

There are many other albums I'd love to go over here, but I don't know if I have that many more complicated descriptions in me, so let's just list some honorable mentions:

Quiet the Room by Skullcrusher (very calm indie, nice strings)

holy friend by dog eyes (like a hug from a friend, beautiful vocals and warmth)

Cannot Be, Whatsoever by Novo Amor (great instrumentation and lyrics)

Grip Your Fist, I'm Heaven Bound by Kingfisher (the most beautiful use of brass + raw, heaving vocals that I've ever heard)

I like talking about music, so maybe I'll do more of these posts in the future, who knows.

And if you want to reblog with your favorite fall albums in the tags (or wherever), I'd love to hear them :3

[rabbitechoes]

first week of september!! fall is drawing near!!! there were some pretty cool tracks that dropped this week, two in particular that are on the shortlist for some of my favorites of the year. 2024 is drawing closer to the end, but this continues to shape up to be one of the best years for music in recent memory. In other words, NEW PHIL ELVERUM MOUNT EERIE ALBUM WOOOOOO WOOOOOOOOO YEAH YEA H YEAH YEAH!!!!!!! also feel free to follow me on rate your music and twitter <3

"Made Out of Memory" - Nilüfer Yanya

◇ released: Sept. 2, 2024 ◇ featured on My Method Actor (not yet released) ◇ genres: indietronica, alt-pop

Starting to sound like a broken record, but this new Nilüfer Yanya single is very solid. We're only a few weeks out from My Method Actor, but it's shaping up to be one of the most promising releases of the year. I love the subtlety she implements into these songs. Everything is given just the right amount of attention. The guitars on this track are buried, but crawl to the surface at the most opportune moment. Her vocals are also gorgeous, as are her melodies. Really good cut here, can't wait to dive into the full record.

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"Broom of Wind" | "I Walk" - Mount Eerie

◇ released: Sept. 3, 2024 ◇ featured on Night Palace (not yet released) ◇ genres: singer-songwriter, indie folk, slacker rock, post-rock

4 years after the biographical meditation of Microphones in 2020, the highly prolific singer-songwriter Phil Elverum is returning in November with a new record under the Mount Eerie name. This announcement was accompanied by these two brilliant singles, the brief jaunty "Broom of Wind" and the weird atmospheric "I Walk." As a massive fan of Elverum's work, these songs were exactly what I could've hoped for - especially the latter. Spacey yet organic atmospheric sounds held together very loosely. Everything feels free-flowing. The traditional rules of song-structuring are construed in subtle, yet effective ways. His lyricism, as always, is just amazing. He makes you feel so much, deep in your core, even when he's crooning what seem to be abstractions.

In the press-release for this record, Night Palace is referred to as a spiritual successor to The Glow Pt. 2 - arguably Phil's magnum opus and one of the greatest records of all time - it also states that "These are songs of re-surrendering to a state of wonder and abandoning the wrung-dry skepticism that this hard world can impose." It doesn't seem like a cheap way to get fans re-invested, he has no reason to do that. If you're a fan of Elverum's music, you're most likely locked in for whatever he has coming down the pipeline. This genuinely, like his previous record, feels like treading old ground with more experience this time around in order to reinvigorate the creative process. Anyway, I'll try to save my ramblings for when I can dive into the full record, but this is firmly my new most anticipated album of the year.

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"th1 [evnslower]" - Aphex Twin

◇ released: Sept. 4, 2024 ◇ featured on Selected Ambient Works Volume II Expanded Edition (not yet released) ◇ genres: dark ambient, drone, space ambient

Another track from the Aphex Twin archives has been officially released leading up to the deluxe edition of Selected Ambient Works Volume II. More savvy Richard D. James heads will probably know much more about this track than I, maybe it was leaked through a big Soundcloud dump or found in a trashcan behind his house. Whatever the case, this is pretty great. Very ominous ambient piece that sounds like it would fit on the soundtrack to a horror film set in space. It feels claustrophobic in a way, unlike the previous single "#19" which felt very peaceful and optimistic. "th1 [evnslower]" puts you on edge, makes you feel like there might be something looming just around the corner.

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"Magic I Want U" | "How to Teleport" - Jane Remover

◇ released: Sept. 4, 2024 ◇ genres: glitch pop, alternative r&b, breakbeat

Jane Remover is back again with another set of seemingly standalone tracks. Like the other two tracks that dropped a little bit ago, they're a bit of a departure from her last album - which is honestly a bit refreshing. I enjoyed that record a decent amount, but there's a bite to these songs that's irresistible. The star here is "Magic I Want U" with its hard-hitting production and tight melodies that just sound absolutely exhilarating. "How to Teleport" isn't bad either, it's got a ton of cool sounds. These new Jane Remover tracks are some of my favorites of hers and although these aren't attached to a new project, I really hope she pushes some of these ideas further in the future.

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"We Will Rock You (Megan Thee Stallion Version)" | "Neva Play" - Megan Thee Stallion

◇ released: Sept. 5, 2024 | Sept. 6, 2024 ◇ genres: southern hip hop, trap, pop rap, drift phonk

Big week for Megan Thee Stallion fans it seems! First, with the bizarre collaboration with Queen for a remix of sports stadium staple "We Will Rock You" ... it's fine. A bit gaudy and awkward, but I don't hate it. The next day she released "Neva Play" with RM of BTS, which is a bit better, but not particularly amazing either. I think it's the beat more than anything. I don't want to hear Megan over a phonk beat in all honesty. Neither Megan's or RM's verse stood out to me either. Oh well!

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"For Sure" - Ethel Cain

◇ released: Sept. 5, 2024 ◇ featured on American Football (Covers) (not yet released) ◇ genres: slowcore, dream pop, post-rock

Following Iron and Wine's indie folk reimagining of "Never Meant," Ethel Cain is the next to contribute to the new American Football covers album with her version of "For Sure." I definitely appreciate what she does with this one. The slow-burning, super lush sound just lulls you into a trance all the way until the big climax in the middle. I didn't have high hopes for this covers project - although I'm mostly just butthurt because I thought American Football were teasing NEW music instead of an anniversary celebration of their first LP, but I digress. This is a really great cover and I'm a bit more excited to hear what the rest of this project has in store.

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"Unt" - Pinhead Gunpower

◇ released: Sept. 5, 2024 ◇ featured on Unt (not yet released) ◇ genres: punk rock, pop punk, power pop

Green Day side-project Pinhead Gunpowder are back with their first new song in 16 years. It's a bit of a snoozefest to be honest. Billie Joe Armstrong has settled into his ways as a vocalist and everything he sings has this level of cleanness to it which is a bit unbecoming of a punk record. It sounds a bit rougher than what you would expect from Green Day proper, but it still just feels a bit toothless. Not doing much for me instrumentally either.

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"The Emptiness Machine" - Linkin Park

◇ released: Sept. 5, 2024 ◇ featured on From Zero (not yet released) ◇ genres: alternative rock, alternative metal, post-hardcore

Linkin Park are returning years after the unfortunate passing of former frontman Chester Bennington, but this time with a new vocalist Emily Armstrong - who definitely doesn't have ANY baggage whatsoever! Truth be told, I've never been a big Linkin Park fan and unfortunately that remains to be the case with this new single. It just feels way too drenched in dramatics to the point where it feels a bit sterile to me. Armstrong's verses were fine, albeit a bit generic. Yeah, I just don't think this is for me. To longtime fans of the band, I hope you guys like this!

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"Ego" - Halsey

◇ released: Sept. 6, 2024 ◇ featured on The Great Impersonator (not yet released) ◇ genres: pop rock, alternative rock, pop punk, power pop

Halsey is releasing her new fifth studio album soon, which will feature all of her singles over the past few months as well as this new one "Ego." I don't dislike this song or anything, but I'm not seeing the picture she's painting here. I guess these new songs have been eclectic, but I fail to see how they'll coincide on a full-length project together. This is definitely a departure from the nostalgic alt-rock of "Lonely Is the Muse," instead leaning more into poppier sounds. Her songwriting is very personal and intense across these songs, but I worry that these constant flip-flopping between sounds will obscure that. We shall see.

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"ELEMENTS" - wolfears

◇ released: Sept. 6, 2024 ◇ genres: post-punk, funk, afrobeat

This groovy new single from wolfears is really sick. There's this palpable anxiety to it that makes everything feel exciting. Everything is in constant motion. The grooves are prickly, never allowing you to settle into them. Their vocals sound like they're reciting mantras and chants which adds to the uneasiness. It's a good feeling of unease though. Her musicianship is pretty impeccable on this cut too as she handles every bit of instrumentation here. I could've been fooled into thinking this was the work of a full band. Overall, "ELEMENTS" is a really solid track and if you're a fan of either the Talking Heads or Fela Kuti - hopefully you're fans of both - give this a listen!

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"Ruby Rosary" - A$AP Rocky feat. J. Cole

◇ released: Sept. 6, 2024 ◇ featured on DON'T BE DUMB (not yet released) ◇ genres: jazz rap, east coast hip hop, cloud rap

A$AP Rocky has released the third single leading up to his new record DON'T BE DUMB. This is a really good track, I'm loving the jazz rap production a lot. Rocky's verses continue to wow me during this rollout, more than they have in some time. They're not the most impressive, but they're undeniably smooth as hell. He's bringing some confidence into this one. Even J. Cole's verse wasn't that bad, he needed a verse that was at the very least good after "Grippy" and his rough MIGHT DELETE LATER tape. Yeah, I'm loving this. This is shaping up to be a really promising project, hopefully we get a concrete release date in the coming weeks.

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[imogenlefay]

So, I read this book... Daisy Jones & The Six

so, i've been thinking about doing a thing, and maybe someone finds it interesting, or maybe it's just for me to order my thoughts and i'll get bored to it before march, but we'll see. basically, for the last two years i've been keeping track of the books i read (or audiobooks i listen to) bc i felt like i'm not reading enough (except for fanfiction). and while i'm far behind people who actually read a lot, and woefully behind how much i used to read when i was a teen, i'm actually pretty happy with the progress. made it to 34 in 2022 and 40 in 2023, and hope to get more done this year. 2024 is starting off strong, just finished my first book of the year, and usually when i do that, i have thoughts. so what's the point of blogs if not to put that out there, so it stops haunting my head? or maybe even get someone else's thoughts on things? so i decided to blog about the books i read (unless i forget or don't feel like it), starting with general feelings and then going into spoilery feelings. so, yeah, this is what this is going to be. let's go.

Summary: a look back on fictional rockband The Six rising to fame, where they meet It Girl Daisy Jones, leading to the collab of a century, until the band breaks apart after one show in Chicago. Told completely in interview snippets.

General Feelings: say what you want, it's a fast read, and it's fun. the style of writing with everything being interview snippets, aka the band members' and friends' memories, works really well, especially the parts where one person remembers things, and the next person directly contradicting their memory. it's a quick way to give you everyone's point of view, and sowing the seeds of miscommunication and conflict. the story is easy to follow, and it's also easy to feel for most of the protagonists. the characters are likable enough, and their conflicts are mostly realistic. the final show in chicago and the general fall out unfortunately fall kind of flat for me. like... this is it? it's not much of a bang, tbh... which maybe sums up my feelings about the whole thing. it's a fun ride, but at the end, it's like "huh, guess that was it?" it is fun, but it's just not very deep, i guess. although the way they describe the songwriting process and the songs that result from it really was cool to read. another fun fact, i totally forgot there's a show until i googled the book cover. and since i was reading and caught myself wanting to check out the songs, only to remember they're not real... well, that might be enough motivation to check out the show. Recommendation: yes, i'm doing that before the actual feelings part cause i can't discuss those without spoilers. so, if anybody cares, rec first. Daisy Jones & the Six is a casual read. like, vacation book. for the beach, for train rides, for flights. it's fun to breeze through, but i doubt it'll really grip most people. so yeah, not a must read, but can be fun, light reading.

Spoilery feelings:

(consider yourself warned)

there are a few things that really didn't work for me.

i never really got into the whole daisy/billy thing. like, his instant antipathy, the weird rivalry, and then her oh so deep love for him, and at the end, him finally kinda sorta loving her but loving his wife more... maybe that's part of the format. both of them looking back at it from the future, where it's just not that present anymore. but it didn't ring that true.

my biggest problem was probably drug use and how it was handled. it just felt so trivial and meaningless. like sure, for both billy and daisy it's supposedly the central struggle, but it just fell so flat for me. i know part of that is that early december i read Wir Kinder vom Bahnhof Zoo, which (in germany) is a famous non-fiction account describing the fall into heavy drug use of an extremely young girl (starting at 12, i think), and it's the bleakest thing i've ever read, with the girl herself describing how she fell into heavier and heavier drugs, paid for by prostitution. so it's dark, and it's heavy, and compared to that the drug use in Daisy Jones feels almost offensive in how little weight it has. the comparison is super unfair, i know, i'm primed and biased, sure. but after that, the book may say a million times "oh yeah, that was a bad time for daisy", but it just doesn't ring true.

i'm not sure if the identity of the interviewer is supposed to come off as a twist? like, sure, i didn't see it coming, but it didn't really have an impact, either.

lacking impact is probably my final point. while the book, especially with the format of the interviews, is really good at painting the conflicts within the group, i didn't feel like these paid off in a significant manner. like, eddie's whole growing resentment never went anywhere except being a red herring. the show in chicaco wasn't that special in the end, was it? nothing happened at the show himself. just, the band broke at many different places at once, but they barely impacted each other. billy's struggle with addiction toppling over, daisy having a breakdown and camila helping her through it, pete getting married, the karen/graham thing exploding... like, you could see them coming, but the resolution all at once felt kinda random. like, it didn't feel like there's this big bang setting off all the dominos (yeah, mixing metaphors, i know), but more like "oh yeah, that's all happening now, i guess". sure, there isn't always a big bang, but i feel like they teased one, and then there was nothing. so i guess the end feels a bit anticlimactic, like it just fizzled out.

it was still fun to read, but more like meaningless fun, i guess. definitely preferred "The Seven Husbands of Evelyn Hugo", which was super fun. interesting writing style, but story is a bit shallow. okay, now i talked enough about a book i kinda sorta liked but wasn't super impressed by. anyone else thoughts about it? did you read it? did you watch the show? do you or did you have feelings about it? seriously would love to hear them!

[londonspirit]

Inside Rita Ora and Taika Waititi’s Intimate, Never-Before-Seen Los Angeles Wedding

“She proposed to me, and I said yes instantly,” filmmaker Taika Waititi says of how he and singer-songwriter Rita Ora became engaged. While the pair first met at a barbecue in 2018 that Taika hosted at his house in L.A., it wasn’t until 2021, when they were both filming in Australia, that they began dating. Rita popped the question while the pair were on vacation in Palm Springs in the summer of 2022, and they planned an impromptu wedding to be held in Los Angeles a few weeks later, on August 4. “It wasn’t in London or in France like everyone reported,” Taika clarifies. “It was in L.A. with a small group of friends.”

“At our home!” Rita notes.

“Our address was…no, I’m just joking,” Taika says, laughing.

Over the past year, the two have gotten a kick out of the misinformation about their nuptials that has spread like wildfire across the internet. “It’s actually been quite entertaining for us to see the different stories people made up and all the while getting to keep it to ourselves,” Rita admits. “And, I love that we now get to share what really happened—and to do it on our one-year anniversary, no less!”

As far as the planning process goes, there wasn’t one: The entire event was dreamed up and executed in just two weeks. “There were about eight people there—just close friends and family, and parents on Zoom,” Taika says, noting he was particularly thrilled to have his best friend Jemaine Clement fly all the way over from New Zealand for the last-minute ceremony. “It was really us and my sister, Elena,” Rita says. “Elena to the rescue!”

The bride wore a Tom Ford dress and Lorraine Schwartz jewels for the intimate ceremony. “Tom Ford is one of my favorite designers of all time and favorite humans in general,” Rita says. “He’s now one of my close friends, and I adore and admire him so much. To get married in his dress was a dream come true. And because it wasn’t planned, I didn’t know if the right dress was even going to be in town, and I just took the risk and went to the Tom Ford shop, and they had it perfectly waiting with the veil, in my size, no alterations needed to be done. I mean, it was like it was meant to be, to be honest. And it just made me so happy.”

Sami Knight styled the bride’s hair in soft, loose curls, and Anthony H. Nguyen created a natural, glowy makeup look. Meanwhile, the groom wore Brunello Cucinelli (and received a touch-up or two from Rita’s makeup artist along the way).

For the ceremony itself, the couple kept things simple. “I wore my mum’s pearls that she got married in. My sister, Elena, put [the bracelet] on my wrist. It was beautiful,” Rita says. “My sister walked me down the aisle, and it was just really simple and blissful and calm and private and fun.”

“Yeah, it was beautiful,” Taika adds. “Just having close friends and not having it too big. We didn’t have table settings or any of the stressful things that go along with weddings, and it was nice to just have it super-simple. My daughters were there, and they made everything really fun and easy: I think just because we didn’t have the pressure of having caterers and all of these things, you know, people turning up late, and all of the different moving parts.”

“I felt really peaceful actually,” Rita says. “It was almost like another day. We just all dressed up and got married.”

After the ceremony, Rita and Taika went to their friend Guy Oseary’s house for a dinner party. “He was so kind to host us at the last minute,” says Rita. “We got a group of people together, and we just had a great time!” As a surprise wedding gift from a friend, an Elvis impersonator showed up to serenade them, before everyone danced the night away to a playlist of the couple’s own making.

A year later, they both are still reveling in newlywed bliss. “It’s still working!” Taika exclaims. “I can’t believe it’s been a year.”

“Same. I can’t believe it’s been a year,” Rita says. “It feels like nothing’s changed since the day I met him at the barbecue. It just feels so good to be with my best friend.”

[septembersghost]

It's so funny that when tayjoe were together swifties(not you sweetie😘😘) were literally sh*tting on harry and made fun of him for writing 'I love you'(which was sweet af) and looking sad at bbmas. And when tayjoe broke up they were calling him YB(🤢)and making poor man jokes. Yet after m*** h**** happened they are literally begging for both of them lol. And the amount of people I have seen who are predicting a haylor reunion is insane. I always thought no one took their relationship as anything beyond a fling yet even people in reddit(biggest anti haylors and the ones who hate harry ) knows about the 2014 phase and thinks they would give it a shot. I am not overly invested as in I'll be happy if they date but I will support any relationship they have(as long as it's not matt Healy). But I definitely didn't know people thought of haylor as anything beyond pr and I am shocked in the best way possible.

is now an appropriate time to say how horrendously some fans treated joe for actual years over nothing? calling him a nepo boyfriend (what does that even mean), calling him poor/jobless/boring, accusing him of all sorts of baseless things (the DV hand signal, for example), anons on here harassing blogs by saying she didn't care about him and he was a joke, i've never seen someone treated so badly for quietly minding his business and trying to stay in his lane. idk how tuned in he ever was to any of that noise, and i hope not at all, but that alone would become unbearable for a lot of people after awhile. and like i said before, we have no idea what happened between them and it's not our place to know (unless she decides to tell us), but there's no concrete reason to believe he betrayed her in some massive way right now. people grow apart. the dissolution of a six+ year relationship is going to leave hurt and scars and wreckage even if it WAS somewhat amicable, because you're losing a whole life you've built together, and whatever plans you might have had for the future. so of course she's hurting, i'm sure he is too, but i'm just not ready yet to skewer him and put him on the list with JM, JG, and CH as this terrible partner when all we knew was him being a good and decent and kind one for years (from more commentary than just taylor's). the tweets begging for joe to fight for her and to come back are funny, but also very sad - it's like the epitome of you don't know what you've got 'til it's gone. (i also don't think ANY of us were prepared for this massive of a shift in one month's time. during tour. with a re-recording coming soon. it's a lot to process.)

then with harry, i've never understood making fun of what he wrote if you're a fan of what she writes, because they're both drawing on confessional personal experiences? where is the logic? he's the only instance where we've gotten the other side of the conversation! i think the (totally idiotic) pr accusation started to really die down several years ago as more and more people got into the truth of their relationship and when he repeatedly praised her songwriting (the only people who accuse them of that now are detached from reality akljsdkljf). but yeah it's quite the mood switch to see the subreddits bringing him up in a positive way and acknowledging that he's a sweet and talented guy after ripping him to shreds for no reason last year. :/ although that's what he deserves to have said!

i've also never seen swifties and even people who don't like her so united in an opinion as they are in collectively being in shambles over this development. 😭 and as i said before, there's a difference between a bad boy edgy persona and actively causing harm with bigoted words/actions - you can only use racism as "satire" so many times before it stops being a joke, or make sexist comments and follow someone like andr*w t*te without being legitimately misogynistic. i just. *head in hands* someone on the sub said, "people keep saying 'let her live her life' - and i absolutely am, but i don't have to be comfortable with the way she's doing it when it involves racist boys, and i don't have to support it," and someone else said, "being hurt can make you do crazy things, and she is only a human just like all of us," and i honestly feel there's room for both thoughts here. we can understand it wholly and let her live, and that doesn't mean we have to support it ourselves.

meanwhile let us just keep manifesting haylor friends era. anything feels possible at this point!

[alarrytale]

Besides their contracts and deals with Sony, IMO the main reason why they can´t come out yet is simple. CO together sounds like a logical step because when doing something "shocking" then do the double shock for everyone (except larries) - they both will CO with their real sexuality and also confess they have been together for +10 years. Louis probably doesn´t have anything to loose and maybe can even gain more open-minded fans from his partner but H and his actual peak of fame made mostly by harries who think he´s straight - that would cause quite exodus IMO when your sex god confesses you never had a chance and we know 80percent of them are here because of his physical appearance. And IMO H won´t come out as bi/pan if he´s actually gay like telling the half truth just to satisfy and keep the door open for harries and their wet dreams that they still have chance and not being a liar about his gfs. I don´t think he would like to lie about this serious and personal thing while....and that´s the question - isn´t it bad to lie to queer community like "I said I was bi while I am totally gay because I was scared to admit I don´t like women at all"? You know, I don´t know much about it but I feel like queer community is all about being 100percent true to yourself, to be proud and not hiding anymore and CO as bi while being gay - that doesn´t quite show you´re proud of who you are.... So I just think Louis probably won´t have a problem with CO but he´s waiting for H when he´ll be able to be fully free because his fans won´t give a damn about him (and maybe they even leave because there will be someone younger-prettier-better than H) and there won´t be any fame-hunger because he´ll be satisfied with his achievements and his fans who knew about him all the time.

But also somedays I´m thinking that their CO might be like they will slowly stop controlling themselves, Louis will stop with his laddy lad image and be more flamboyant on/off stage and H will hint more and more from his gay world like more gay innuendos on stage, more gay hints in songwriting, more gay coding with his outfits and sympathy for gay art f.e. Like they will never actually CO but noone will have a doubt about their sexuality.

Hi, anon!

It's hard to answer this ask, because for me their contract, clauses and deliverables they are still bound to are the main reason they're not out. I also think bg is tied to harry as a way to control louis. Neither of them are in a position to come out right now. I don't think they'll come out together to shock people or get a lot of attention, but more because it will be easier to not to have to do it alone, but also to come totally clean (share what they are allowed to share). I don't think they want (or can) lie. So they'll both come out as gay.

I don't think h coming out will cause a mass exodus of fans. He'll lose some and gain some. I don't think fans will be as shocked as you think. And i think they are more accepting, at least if it also cleans up his image in the process. His music is breaking records and will keep doing so whether he's closeted or gay.

[cherrycheridarling]

'someday maybe' | t.h.

tom holland x singer!reader

warnings: one swear? fluff and angst? kisses

summary: you're so close to finishing your second album when your manager pushes the deadline, your ex tom helps you write the final track.

{listen to someday by michael bublè and meghan trainor (if you want)}

wc: 2.1k

"Someday maybe when we're old and grey,"

"Yes, yes. I know. You are not being a very helpful manager right now, Noelle." you spoke to your phone as you paced around the living room, "Okay. I'll get working on it. Bye." you huffed and threw your phone against the couch.

Your album was due to be released in two months and you needed one more song to tie it all together. Your manager, Noelle, was pushing you to finish the song so she could start the promo of the album.

You were incredibly grateful for your career, but the pressure weighed down on you everyday. Never ending.

With a final groan you picked up your acoustic guitar and sat on the couch. Picking at the strings, trying to find a melody. You hit record on your voice memo app before strumming away.

"Someday maybe when we're old and grey, we can be in love once more. 'Till then I won't give my love away. Darling, I'm forever only yours." you sang softly.

You and Tom had a joyous relationship. A love that only ever existed in movies and fairytales. The type of love story that gets told for generations and onwards. But alas, all good things must come to an end.

Your breakup was calm, serene and clean. A mutual agreement as if your whole relationship had been a business deal. There were no loose ends or jealous passive aggressive remarks made. Just maturity and respect for one another.

Your pinky still held the promise ring he gave you. A token of appreciation. A reassurance that he'd always be there for you. And he lived up to his word.

Tom walked in and sat across from you, startling you, "Sorry. Didn't mean to scare you. Whatcha writing?"

"Need a final song for the album. Sorry for showing up unannounced. I just get better inspiration here, with all the memories, you know?" you timidly looked back down at the guitar.

Tom nodded, "No need to apologize. We gave you a spare key for a reason."

You couldn't stop yourself from spilling the words from your lips, "That was when we were together."

You could hear the awkward silence start to fill the room before he spoke again, "Still our best friend, Y/L/N."

The pain that crossed your features was instant. Being addressed by your last name felt like a stab to the gut. Especially by Tom.

You nodded before playing again, "Can I help you write it?" Tom asked as he sat next to you.

"Dancer, gymnast, actor and now songwriter. How many hidden talents have you got, Holland?" you teased making him laugh.

He shrugged with a smile, "It's kind of like writing a poem, right?"

You pondered on his analogy before slowly nodding, "Yeah, it kind of is. Give it a go."

You began playing the melody and he listened intently for a few moments before singing, "I love seeing you happy. I miss seeing that smile. It's been such a long time. A– Nope. Nope. Nuh-uh. I can't do it." he shook his head aggressively with a loud laugh as you stopped playing.

"No!" you quickly protested, "That was amazing! Don't leave me hanging, c'mon." you nudged him with your shoulder before strumming again.

"Alright, alright." he ran his hands down his face, "And although I don't have you, I know now that I need to?" he paused and gave you a skeptical look before you nodded again, "Somehow make you mine. Mmm."

"Oh, okay. He's giving ad-libs and all. Get it." you nodded as he laughed.

You were so engrossed on Tom actually writing a song with you that you didn't focus on the lyrics he was singing.

"And I won't lie, it's hard seeing you with him 'cause I know he can't hold you like I can." his mood seemed to drop by a thousand as the words left his lips.

"When can we meet this boyfriend of yours?" Harrison flicked your forehead from across the booth.

You, Harrison, Tom and Tuwaine were all sat in the local pub. Pints of beer in front of each of you as loud music and chatting filled your ears.

You shrugged, "He's picking me up, so possibly tonight."

Tuwaine's eyes lit up, "Fina-fucking-lly. I swear you've kept him hidden for years."

"We've only been together for three months, T." you laughed lightly with the group of boys.

And they met him. It wasn't the smoothest of introductions, but an introduction nonetheless.

"Boys, this is Kai. Kai this is Tom, Harrison and Tuwaine." you gestured to the parties as they all shook hands and gave polite greetings.

"So," Harrison started, "What do you do for a living, Kai?"

Kai cleared his throat, "I'm a Senior Resident at Kingston Hospital. Working towards being Head of Pediatrics."

Tuwaine and Harrison both nodded, impressed by his profession. Tom's face remained expressionless as he stared at Kai with cold eyes.

"Do you have any siblings, Kai? Any psycho ex-girlfriends? Any wacky cousins?" Tuwaine joked making everyone laugh. "'Cause Y/N has a lot of wacky cousins."

"We could be in love once more,"

"Hey!" you gasped with a laugh.

Kai pulled you closer to him as he laughed, "No, no wacky cousins or psycho exes, but I do have an older sister and a younger brother."

This game of ask and answer continued on for a few more minutes. Tom didn't say a word, just sipped his beer and burned holes into Kai with his eyes. If looks could kill, Kai would be six feet under.

Kai was a sweetheart, but you two ended ages ago. His work got too much for him and your job had you touring and travelling every second.

You picked up after him with the chorus before diving into your own verse, "I remember that love song. I sang every word wrong, but you didn't mind, no, no."

"I love the things you do. It's how you do the things you love. Well it's not a love song, not a love song. I love the way you get me, but correct me if I'm wrong. This is not a love song, not a love song!" Tom belted the 'Austin & Ally' song from the top of his lungs.

"Your turn!" he pointed the pretend mic in your direction.

You laughed, not knowing any of the lyrics, but still wanting to participate, "I love that you not a licket! And you own a watch and chicken! We got a car!" you sang with full confidence, making Tom burst with laughter.

"Yes! Sing it, darling!" he cheered you on, "Absolutely butchering the lyrics, but sing it!"

"Being stuck inside a car. If it's not a doe, don't kiss it! I can't hear a missing, when there's a shoe inside the ceiling! If you really need to fart, you can lunch on a pig farm! Love song! Love song!" you couldn't even hear the song in the background, your voice overpowering it.

Tom was hunched over from laughing before he came back up and planted a soft kiss on your lips, "You are one hundred percent ridiculous and I love it."

You brought yourself back to reality and sang again, "And I'll admit that I miss you, but only if you do. 'Cause you know that I'm shy. And I can't lie, it's hard seeing you with her. 'Cause I know she can't love you like I can."

Tom's eyes met yours as the words fell from your gentle lips. His mouth was slightly agape as you continued to strum.

"You are absolute rubbish. Imagine coming in eighth. Embarassing." you laughed as you crushed Harrison in a game of Mario Kart.

He shoved you with his shoulder, "You're such a try ha—"

"—It's always the same, Tom! How can I trust you? You follow gorgeous models on Instagram and expect me to trust you?" Nadia's voice cut Harrison's words off.

You looked at him with wide eyes, his expression matching yours.

"Those women that I follow have been my friends for ages. Who I follow on a stupid app shouldn't effect how much you trust me."

You paused the game, cutting off the theme song, "How long have they been fighting like this?"

Harrison sighed, a long groan following, "A few weeks. I think it started when she saw that he liked your Instagram picture?"

You stammered, "M-my post? She got mad about my post?"

Harrison nodded before opening his mouth to speak, but Nadia cut him off again, "And she practically lives here! How do you think it makes me feel seeing my boyfriend play house with a superstar?!"

"Aw, a superstar? I'm flattered." you joked making Harrison stifle a laugh.

"I've been friends with Y/N since we were in nappies!"

"I can't be with you if you're going to be friends with her."

Your laughter abruptly died at her words. Harrison stiffened beside you.

"Y-you can't be serious. You can't make me choose between you and her."

"Why? Because you're gonna choose her?" you could hear her voice crack.

"I-" Tom couldn't make out a sentence for a few moments, "Yeah. I'm gonna choose her."

Your heart fell from it's place, stopping at your feet. Harrison brought a hand to his mouth, "H-he chose you. He chose you!" he whisper shouted before you shushed him.

"Of course. I don't know why I expected anything different. I think I'll be going now." Nadia's footsteps approached the living room.

You and Harrison scrambled to look as if you weren't eavesdropping on their argument/breakup.

Tom followed close behind her, "I'm sorry. I really am."

She nodded, hand on the doorknob, "I know. Goodbye." she stepped out of the house, slamming the front door shut in the process.

Tom let out a breath of relief before turning to you and Harrison who were staring at the Mario Kart home screen with the infamous tune playing.

"You guys are terrible actors."

"'Till then I won't give my love away,"

"I'm forever only yours." the both of you finished the song in unison.

There was a moment of silence before you reached over and ended the voice recording.

"T-that was really good. You can change what I wrote, I know it isn't as good as anything you would've written, but I tried. And it was actually pretty fun and I never knew how difficult songwriting was un—"

"—Kiss me." you cut Tom's rambling off.

His eyes grew wide, "W-wha—"

"—Kiss me, Holland."

He swallowed, a small smile stretching on his lips, "Thank God."

And with that, he leaned in and pressed his lips to yours. Interlocking like missing puzzle pieces. Moving in sync like waves in the ocean. Soft and sweet, but filled with passion. You could feel his smile against your lips causing you to grin.

His hand came up to pull your face closer into his. Caressing your jaw, fingertips playing with the hairs on the back of your neck. His other hand holding your hip in a tight grip. Pressing the pads of his digits into your flesh, scared that you might slip through his fingers again.

One of your hands was pressed flat against his chest. Steadying yourself, the heat of the kiss threatening to throw you off of your axis. Your other hand tangled itself into Tom's curls. Pulling and tugging lightly causing small groans to fall from Tom's lips. Your fingernails scratching his scalp. Pulling him impossibly closer to you.

"I want my ten pounds." Harrison's voice snapped you and Tom out of your make out session.

Him and Tuwaine stood in the doorway, shit eating grins on their faces.

Tuwaine laughed before placing a ten pound note in Harrison's palm, "You guys couldn't have waited until next month to get back together?"

"You two were betting on us?" Tom laughed at his mates who nodded.

You shook your head with a smile, "Absolute idiots, all of you."

Harrison let out a happy sigh and pocketed the money, "Today was a good day. Had a sick ass shoot. Got ten pounds. And my best friends are finally together again." he waltzed into the kitchen with Tuwaine, leaving you and Tom alone again.

Tom's shy expression met your gleeful one before he spoke, "Someday came a lot sooner than expected, huh?" he chuckled.

You nodded with a laugh, "It certainly did and I am not complaining."

He sent you a wide grin before cupping your face and connecting your lips to his again.

"Darling, I'm forever only yours."

[swimmingleo]

Harry Styles and Two Loves - A love that dare not speak its name.

‼️Disclaimer I am in no way an English literature expert or student for that matter and can barely organize my thoughts but I’ll try my best. If something doesn’t make sense or is regretful thinking please tell me‼️

Basically Harry is a fervent reader that does not limit himself to Buk*wski and Mur*kami though for some reason he loves to bring up those dudes. Queer literature seems to play a big role when it comes to his inspiration and I love that about his music. A good example is his Shakesqueer Sweet Creature madness. But another one that I hold close to my heart are the parallels he draws with Alfred Douglas’ poem, Two Loves.

Here is the full poem. Give it a read if you can because I won't break it down verse by verse for this post sorry :(

To make it short, the poem is about the narrator (let's say Douglas) wandering in a garden where he meets a young man that turns out to be his lover. For context, Alfred Douglas was very much queer and in a romantic relationship with Oscar Wilde. Both developed their own coded language to express their love and ''sexual tendencies'' through their art (been this way foreverrr will we ever leaarn). However they were not always so sneaky about it and Two Loves in particular was so in your face that it was used against Wilde to prove his homosexuality in trial. He did get away with it this time. Here is his defense. Blueprint of denials. No iPhones at the time.

In Two Loves, two different personifications of love introduce themselves to Douglas and his lover:

The first love is loud and cheerful and sings about pretty women and men that love the said pretty women.

The second love is discreet, almost erased by the other’s presence but is beautiful and draws the attention of the narrator.

Obviously the first love is Heterosexuality, the one that is openly praised by society and the second is Homosexuality who is bullied into silence by Heterosexuality if he tries to speak. The poem ends with Homosexuality saying "I am the love that dare not speak its name." Yeah. And isn’t that the story of H’s career.

HS1 opens with MMITH which ends on "We don’t talk about it, it’s something we don’t do". And from there follows SOTT, "We don’t speak enough". And right after we get the very loud, very explicit and very well documented Carolina. So far the album narration goes "There is something painful going on but we can’t talk about it, I say ‘we’ because there is a you and I and yeeEEAAH THIS GIRL I MET ONCE GETS A WHOLE SONG THE WORLD DESERVES TO KNOW HOW GOOD SHE FEELS FOR A LADDY LAD LIKE ME ALSO HER NAME IS TOWNES YOU CAN CHECK FOR YOURSELF SEE IF SHES REAL I LOVE REAL WOMEN AS IN WOMEN THAT EXIST". Heterosexuality is loud and sings about pretty women right.

But then, THEN we get Two Ghosts. Which is the center piece of this whole post. I mean, the title... Two Ghosts//Two Loves Two hearts in one home ? Sick.

The parallel that hits the most is the physical description that is made of Douglas’ lover and of Homosexuality (which are technically two different characters in the poem).

Douglas’ lover / Homosexuality

Same lips red / Same eyes blue / Same white shirt

Red were his lips / His lips were red / His eyes were clear as crystal / His large eyes were strange with wondrous brightness / White as the snow / His cheeks were wan and white

In Douglas’ poem, it is meant to be understood that the young boy he meets first, his lover, is related to Homosexuality through their physical appearance. Douglas’ love is therefore inherently queer. With Two Ghosts, I’ve always wondered why Harry chose specifically to point out a white shirt as it comes across a bit generic and not really personal yk? But if you compare it to Two Loves, it checks out the recurrent descriptive color scheme: red, blue and white. In both works, red are the lips, blue are the eyes, and white is the ~envelopp. RIGHT. I suppose Harry didn’t feel like describing his lover with pale white skin since it’s brown with lemon over ice when under summer skies so he went with a plain white shirt instead.

I’m not going through a whole analysis of Two Ghosts yet I can safely say that it deals with unspoken words. Not saying things is a recurrent theme in H’s songwriting but within the album, Two Ghosts is the first song that deals with it through the undeniable prism of romantic love. Right before with Carolina, H had no issue being straightforward and wanted to "scream and shout it out", but with Two Ghosts he’s tongue tied and doesn’t say what he really means. Communication issues go on with the following track Sweet Creature, btw may I just:

But oh, Sweet Creature (!), Sweet Creature

Would he […] cry "O sweet creature!", Othello

I cried "Sweet youth…, Two Loves

Queer Literaturry is going wild(e).

Expanding this post with Sweet Creature allows me to speak about the garden metaphor. In lyric poetry, the expression of emotions is often done through nature. It is a process that Harry seems pretty fond of when singing about love (ie Olivia, Adore You, WS, Canyon Moon and Sunflower are good examples) but it’s way more subtle with TG and SC. In Two Ghosts, nature is the moon, and in Sweet Creature it’s the garden.

Would you look at that, Two Loves happens to combine both:

Moon dances over your good side and this was all we used to need, Two Ghosts

Running through the garden oh where nothing bothered us, Sweet Creature

Flowers that were stained with moonlight / Alone in this fair garden, till he came unasked by night, Two Loves

For Harry, the night is where the moon enhances his lover’s beauty, when it’s just the two of them and they need nothing more than each other. The garden is where they run (free?away?), once again alone, unbothered. For Douglas, Homosexuality took form and began to occupy the garden at night, while Heterosexuality who thrives in the golden light (um I- nvm) wasn’t paying attention.

It is also interesting to note that Homosexuality is associated with the night but also with death. And he’s super pale. So like… A ghost ? ANYWAY.

The garden in Two Loves is where love happens, it is a piece of heaven. It’s elevated on a hill and untamed with flowers of various colors growing everywhere. There is sunshine and moonlight, there are "pools that dreamed" and by pools I assume the author means vernal pools which are habitats where flowers grow and oh look over there:

Nice ruffles on that white shirt by the way. Very Victorian.

Two Ghosts, 2017 Mularry so true

So yeah. I don’t want to go into full analysis mode but I find it all interesting. Once again, Two Loves holds a great significance regarding the Oscar Wilde’s lore, and Harry is probably very familiar with anything Wilde related (don’t even start) and by that I think about the Carnation business.

I’ll just conclude with that quote from Maurice by E.M Forster whom I love very much:

"I am an unspeakable of the Oscar Wilde sort."

[bluewinnerangel]

I love your blog I love your masterposts and ramblings and gayvinci tags and song analyses I LOVE YOU and I hope you have a great day. Also do you have an analysis on Perfect (did H&L really write in different rooms LOL)? Some ppl say it's about Pr relationships/closeting but I'm slow and need help connecting the dots. Thank you!

OOOOH PERFECT ANALYSIS YES

totally not just putting in gifs before the cut to grab peoples attention

Hi! Thank you so much <3 Sorry anon this really took me a while. I do have my opinions on Perfect, and iiiieee I don't know if this is an unpopular opinion or just a duhdoink of course this is the way to see it and everyone else in the room is seeing it too. There's just my interpretation, what makes way too much sense to me to view this song as anything else, so I'll share that. 

And about the rooms thing, I think it was a joke among fans because god forbid they are interacting whatsoever right ;)

his silhouette is something else

I’m just gonna put in a cut here because of course it’s gonna be too long not to.

An analysis of Perfect below the cut:

First let’s go into what they’ve said about the song, of all the songs Harry has explained (if that) this one maybe most often. Still it isn’t much, watch it here and here and here. So the way I see it they are HAMMERING on that it’s not what it looks like and it’s so much honestly it’s pretty entertaining:

First answer: “yes we write from personal experience”, but then: 

“no matter how loose that might be”

“it’s not literal”

“to be honest it translates to whoever”

“it doesn’t always have to be an exact story”

“not everything is so obvious”

“things can be taken in different ways”

“it’s not always necessarily about what it sounds like it’s about”

....and they just go on like this. So what I’m reading here is basically GUYS. GALS. BROPALS. IT’S NOT WHAT IT LOOKS LIKE. THERE ARE DIFFERENT INTERPRETATIONS TO THIS. WE WROTE THIS IN A WAY TO HAVE LAYERS. PEEL THE ONION.

So in any case, in any possible case it’s definitely not just about what they think it’s sounds like it’s about. An then the question is what they think it sounds like it’s about then? Maybe it’s just towards the GP: it’s clearly assumed to be about Taylor (the media seemed to be really pushing this idea as well) and that’s totally fair and even true in some regards as you can’t really ignore the in-your-face Taylor nods in there. Then it could be that they’re just like yeah we see it looks like this is about haylor (as a real relationship) but it’s not like that. But, and this is a reach, it could also be their fear that those who support their relationship (Harry & Louis’ that is) might interpret this song as them being casual together, which people have. It doesn’t not make sense as a thought process right? Because they wrote it together. So maybe they’re like no oh no nononononono it’s not about us together! Not in that way! and just hammer on about this because they don’t like the idea of them looking anything less than whipped and married, sure hella farfetched I know but egh no harm in mentioning it.

Anyway this song is so much smarter than it looks! Nomnom the layers lets peel. It's a really good example of what we see time and time again especially in Louis' songwriting, his lyrics are so straightforward and so simple but once you start looking deeper into there’s a hold up and you find all kinds of things hiding in plain sight. (Harry too, but I mean his lyrics aren’t pretending to be easy, let’s put it like that) 

On the surface we got this narrative of "im a chill boybander dude and im traveling the world yehyeh and you girl yeah im perfect for you if you're looking for that and nothing serious gurl yeah" which works perfectly as a 1D song. But then they’re also playing with that haylor narrative, and there are some wait that’s gay’s too. So my interpretation is that they’re being ironic/sarcastic whatever you wanna call it towards PR relationships, and more specifically the loudest of them all that already had a couple of songs to its name at that point being haylor.

It works as a response to Taylor’s Style as these songs are doing the same thing. In Style, Taylor describes how she and tOtAlLy nOt HaRrY are perceived, how they look, how they don’t go out of style because they look like this perfect hollywood couple. Perfect’s doing the same, they’re both painting this story of seeming perfect for each other, not because they’re actually romantically involved but because they’re something the tabloids/GP/whatever are going to love love love to eat up and/or that doing such a stunt is mutually beneficial (in some regards, namely money, fame, and having these narratives they can work with for their music I guess, and yeah I think it totally broke him, but at the stage of releasing Perfect this isn’t really the direction he went in with corporating that whole side to it into his music just yet).

So I’ll drop my personal ugly powerpoint slide and then do a lyric breakdown (yep I need a ptt to just barf out whatever song parallels I see sometimes otherwise it just keeps haunting me, it’s a like a notebook full of brainfarts and right now I can’t be bothered to recreate it into something less uh... chaotic looking and more nuanced, so just have this monster):

The pic says it all but let’s get into a lyric breakdown:

I might never be your knight in shinin' armor I might never be the one you take home to mother And I might never be the one who brings you flowers But I can be the one, be the one tonight

I'm not gonna save you, I'm not gonna date you, I'm not even gonna do romantic shit for you, I'm just not it. I’m truly really not it for you.

Surface lvl is “im a cool boybanderboy and yeah we can have some fun together tonight here in my hotel room but then you gotta get tf out of here because I’m a player lol bye”

Orrrrr it’s a joke: “girl I ain’t it, yaknow, because I’m taken. And not into girls. But I can pretend be the one, just for tonight tho when we step out to go stunting and get our pics taken and stuff”

(future) parallels:

Couldn’t take you home to mother in a skirt that short - Only Angel can’t do shit with this parallel but it’s there, I see I point, that’s all

When I first saw you From across the room I could tell that you were curious, oh, yeah

Yeah no that’s just gay. Spotting eachother from across the room, sneaky lil glances while standing physically apart in public, and being able to tell the other is curious? That’s the choice of word you’re going with? Curious? Really? Yeah no that’s fine.

Girl, I hope you're sure

Oh sorry it's not gay nvm he said “girl”

What you're looking for 'Cause I'm not good at making promises

back to im just a chill dude wanting to have fun and nothing else, no commitment whatsoever.

But if you like causing trouble up in hotel rooms And if you like having secret little rendezvous If you like to do the things you know that we shouldn't do then baby, I'm perfect Baby, I'm perfect for you

Yeah so hey girl if you wanna do all these secret things in private that seem to be sinful then I’m totally perfect.

GP understanding: if you wanna sneak away with me for a one-night-only yeah we can

PR stunt understanding: listen you wanna be with your secret little rendezvous person that you really shouldn’t be with according to what we’re advised shouldn’t enter the public eye, and you know I wanna be with my person too, so I’m perfect for you to be associated with publicly so the heat will be taken off of those rumors and then you can continue to go off and be with whoever you actually wanna be with in secret and I can do the same, thanks now I’m going back to that hotel room without you byebye

And if you like midnight driving with the windows down

Style nudge: “Midnight, you come and pick me up, no headlights” / “just take me home”

Kinda wanna put SOML here too: “The story of my life, I take her home, I drive all night, to keep her warm, and time is frozen”

And if you like going places we can't even pronounce If you like to do whatever you've been dreaming about Then baby, you're perfect Baby, you're perfect So let's start right now

I mean she knows places? Right? Hah. hah.hah. But here again, like “if you like to do whatever I’m perfect”, like, I’m stunting with you because this whole PR circus is helping you achieve whatever it is you’ve been dreaming about, it can take you places where you haven’t been as in you can reach new heights (also may be just a nudge to touring really, places they’ve never been salad in the wind).

I might never be the hands you put your heart in Or the arms that hold you any time you want them But that don't mean that we can't live here in the moment 'Cause I can be the one you love from time to time

Really they’re just finding more and more ways to say the same thing: Girl, I’m not it. None of this should be taken literal, ending with “the one you love from time to time” which works for both having a .. uh.. buddy with uh bedroom benefits but also for a PR stunt counterpart.

And if you like cameras flashin' every time we go out

mirror mirror on the wall what’s the most obvious “this is about PR stunts” line of them all

Also this line counters “And if you like having secret little rendezvous, If you like to do the things you know that we shouldn't do“. So what is it, are they having secret little rendezvous or are camera’s flashing every time they go out? It’s basically and if you like doing things in the public eye vs if you like doing things in secret. How does it make sense that they’re doing these things with the same person, like these things wouldn’t matter enough to become seperate themes in a song if these are both about the singer + the same girl doing these things with each other. So I conclude PR relationship with flashing cameras + actual real relationships being the secret rendezvous.

It can also be another Taylor nudge ahgain (that’s me saying “again” with a sigh) as I Know Places and I believe some other songs on the 1989 album with Harry as designated driver mention some flashing camera’s and stuff.

Ok last about this line is that “every time we go out” is implying that they only go out to be seen and have their picture taken.

And if you're looking for someone to write your breakup songs about

aaaaand the most obvious Taylor nod of them all. Everyone else in the room can see it.

Baby, I'm perfect Baby, we're perfect

We never go out of style, we never go out of style

Yep that’s that. I think it’s a very clever song, I really love it, and yes they are singing about their relationship, just not the way it looks. It’s here instead:  

But if you like causing trouble up in hotel rooms

And if you like having secret little rendezvous

If you like to do the things you know that we shouldn't do

And maybe here:

If you like to do whatever you've been dreaming about

That’s it, that’s how I see the song. They’re being smart lil shits joking about / reflecting on / seeing the irony in their situation in the most lighthearted way.

Read my other song analyses here

[cantquitu]

I don't understand what they would get from it? How to make a hit like AIW or WS, learn about H writing process, or that he has it whatever it is. They're so obsessed with him it's pathetic.

They really, really don't like that Harry writes his own songs and for some reason it makes them very anxious when people talk about him as a songwriter, or his songwriting process. So they like to get ahead of it and make a lot of noise (one anon - "kid harpoon fucking hates Harry Styles" lmao 🤣), knowing that the gullible chumps who follow them won't actually listen for themselves.

Then they can go back to pretending Louis Tomlinson is not played widely on radio or featured widely in print media because of the threat that Sony could withhold access to their artists like Harry and Adele in retaliation if they do (an actual thing that Sea believes)

[alicewalkermusic]

Apologies in advance for how long this ask is going to be, but since you're not active online very often there's quite a lot i'd love to ask (ramble) about.

Last month i found a recording of your performance at knackerfest 2018, and i just wanted to start by saying how much i absolutely adore  'White Brick Self-Doubt' , and two other songs that aren't named within the recording, (the ones that go :

/How d'you know it's not lies? 

He has so many faces, 

And he's bright

When you talk there's a light

But why don't you stop me? 

What are you drawn to? 

Yeaaaah

You're the one who's right

It's just i haven't lost heart yet

Not even half of it

I guess you worked all of that out

I just guessed that i'm not 

I'm not needed

No

How old are you anyway?

You seem a little childish

There's a lot more to me 

Cause it's not a song

No 

It's not for you

That i carry this on

You want a fictonal lover, 

A host for your mind games/

And :

/Who's gonna save me?

Are you going to save me?

I knew you'd be late

But my god, you've been ages

He hates when i'm leaving

It hurts when i'm home

And i don't think i can go back on my own. 

So don't go

Cause i know you're going.

Don't come home

Because i know where you've been

Come home to me 

I'm lonely , i'm bitter and i'm h** ny

Come to me

Come to me

Why. Won't. You. Come. For. Me

Who's gonna save me?

Are you going to save me?/

[I did transcribe the whole songs but i hope these segments are enough to recognise 'em, I'd love to know the working titles for 'em :) ] They're constantly stuck in my head and hearing that you've got so much in the works is honestly making my day!  You've really got a way with creating these beautifully raw, yet deceptively simple looking lyrics. )

[In particular: 'And i believe the world is caving in and will take me with it' , from 'Time',  'that the little education i had was pure elation and the only ones that die are those who smoke' from 'Right to Die', 'Nothing like a soul that's pure. To colour in until it's yours My little cry, my little yawn My little boy, my little hunt', from 'Port in a Storm', and, oh who am i kidding?

Lets just say that if they'd presented your lyrics as our Higher English set texts then i'd be a scholar by now. They're just so?!?!? ]

If you ever feel comfortable i'd love to hear about your song-writing process on here! Or just even insights about what themes you hope to convey with them :).

I've been raving about your stuff to anyone who'd listen for the last 2 or so years i think? And saw in another ask you were thinking of doing an American tour, so i wanted to ask if you'd consider ever playing a gig or two in good old Scotland (as it's a bit less of a trip)  when you're branching out with your gigs :) ?

Just uh, you're very cool, and thank you for answering my ask about the Home-backing-vocals-poem, and i am very much excited to hear more of your work whenever you publish more of it! 

If you ever decide to sell physical cd's i'd really really love to buy em, 

Beannachd leibh! 💕💕💜

hey :D 

so much content :D love it, thank you.

I’ll post up the two songs - northampton

                                           blood and water

A few gigs in scotland sounds great, do you know of any local places I could play?

In terms of songwriting, normally the thought process is “i fancy playing a song, ugh these ones are all boring, fine.. if i wanted to play a song, what kind of song would i sing..” then I write out some words and plinkplonk on the piano until its done. The words just seem to come out, but the piano is a pain in the arse. I’m not naturally a “practice” type of person, so the backing music is always a second thought... having a poem published in an anthology was always the dream..

take care x

[jeonqqin]

man up. [m] | pt. 2

h. jisung x reader | netflix teen rom-com au

— ❝Even with classes, annoying brothers, and an unrequited crush, you still figured your first year of college was going pretty well. Until you managed to get your first boyfriend, and suddenly your brother and his stupidly attractive best friend were attached to your hip for the whole damn ride.

or alternatively;

Why did Jisung care about you so much, and had his eyes always been that pretty?❞

WORD COUNT: 5.2k

CONTAINS: brothers best friend au, teen rom-com au, sorta crack fic, love triangle au, college au

WARNINGS: nopee, well ji looking at readers butt?

A/N: are u team Chan or team Han?

▸ request

CHAPTERS:  01 | 02 | 03 | 04 | 05 | 06 | 07 | 08 | 09 +

blog masterlist | ⟲ fic song

© jeonqqin 2020

After your afternoon class with Jisung, he quickly noted that you were absent for the rest of the day.

Sure, you didn’t have any other classes, but normally you would be hunkered down in the library with your nose stuffed in some sort of book, or wandering around campus with Felix at your heels. You were either cramming due to your procrastination or roaming around procrastinating. Jisung also knew you weren’t a fan of staying in your small dorm room since your roommate loved flaunting the fact that she had a boyfriend and how she wasn’t shy about anyone witnessing their ‘acts of love’.

So he really had no idea where you were, and it bugged him a little more than he would like to admit.

But outwardly, he didn’t want to show just how worried he was. You were his best friend’s sister, it wasn’t his job to make a fuss about something so trivial. It would be weird if he went looking for you… but if Minho just so happened to get word of his little sister’s sudden disappearance, Jisung would have to help his dear friend search for you.

It was only common courtesy.

“Minho, I think Y/n was kidnapped.”

“You WHAT?!”

Okay, starting the phone call with that probably wasn’t the best choice, but what other choice did he have. Jisung was an impatient guy.

“Yeah, I don’t know what happened.” He replied casually, already able to hear the panic on Minho’s end of the call. “She was here and then she wasn’t.”

Not only was he impatient, he was a(n idiot) songwriter; his words articulate and poetic.

Minho was silent for a second before cutting back for the call.

“I texted Changbin and he said she just ran off.”

Jisung frowned. “Do they know where she went?”

“Apparently to beat some sense into me.”

The two friends knew then where you were and a rush of panic filled their chests all at the same time.

“Fuck—”

“—Chan.”

Jisung nearly dropped his phone in the process of hanging up, immediately taking off towards the familiar apartment.

His worst nightmare was coming true—Chan was an unknown in Jisung’s mind. He was handsome, charismatic, and an older guy, so it was realistic to imagine you falling head-over-heels if you were to ever meet him. Unfortunately, it seemed like fate wasn’t in his favor and he was in deep shit if you were really at the apartment alone with Chan.

Alone with Chan.

He shivered at the thought.

The only brightside to the ordeal was that Minho was also aware of the dangerous situation. Out of everyone, he would be the only one to prevent any feelings from sprouting between you. Jisung counted on Minho every time and he never once failed to preform.

Dear god, he hoped he didn’t decide to stop now.

Arriving at the complex, he almost rammed full speed into Minho, who was also going as fast as his legs could take him. They only shared one glance before trampling over their feet to get up the stairs, no doubt bothering the neighbors along their way.

Minho was the one to swing the door open, his head on a swivel as he walked in. He was ready to break up any inappropriate business with as much force necessary—he didn’t care if Chan’s bicep was twice the size of his head, he had leg power on his side. And if he saw your tongue anywhere near Chan’s, Minho was going to be swinging.

“Chan?”

“Y/n?”

Thud.

There was a crash behind the closed door of the office, and both heads perked up at the sound.

Minho hurried forward, arm outstretched to grab the door, “No. No no no—”

Jisung never wanted in his life to see you involved with someone else. With your pretty eyes hooded and shining with desire, and your chest heaving heavily against the tight fabric of your blouse. It had been difficult enough to watch you fill out and grow into an attractive woman, he didn’t want to acknowledge the fact that you were old enough to meet other guys and moan their names.

He certainly didn’t want to hear you moan Chan’s name—of all people, why Chan?

“Shit, Chan—”

Jisung felt his face heat up as Minho pushed the door open, ready to pull his friend away to avoid the scene on the other side.

“—get your head away from my ass! The power strip isn’t even near there you prick!”

“Hey,” Chan defended with a laugh. “In my defense, all you said was it was over here somewhere. How do I know that somewhere isn’t next to your ass?”

The position that the two of you were in was compromising—though not in the way that Jisung had originally expected. It caused the two newcomers to freeze, their brains struggling to really understand what was happening.

The two of you were surrounded by thousands of cables and wires, black foam scattered across the floor as well. You were on your hands and knees, the only visible part of you was your bottom half with your head tucked underneath Chan’s mixing table doing who knows what. As for Chan, he was crawling around same as you, on his hands and knees with an extension cord wrapped around his shoulders.

“Uhm…” Minho gaped, eyes unable to focus on one part of the scene.

Jisung had no trouble at all, his eyes locked solidly on your raised ass.

You turned your head to look over your shoulder, eyes locking with Jisung’s and immediately widening. You couldn’t be in a worse situation—fucking hell.

In your haste to get out from under the table, you slammed the top of your head against one of the sturdy table legs and winced as Chan cracked up from your side.

“Aren’t you supposed to be in class—Jesus, ow…” You asked, your hand moving up to rub the forming bump.

“What’s going on?” Minho asked, his eyebrows brushing his bangs.

“Y/n wanted some help with her stats class and I needed someone to help me upturn this room and make it into a recording room.” Chan snorted at your little dramatic groans, completely unfazed by the growing frustration on Minho’s face.

But before Minho could say anything to Chan’s statement, Jisung stepped in.

His lips twisted sourly, “I thought Seungmin was going to help you with your stats stuff?”

You shook your head with a huff. “I will not subject myself to that kind of torture and I refuse to let anyone convince me otherwise.”

“Well you could’ve asked me.”

Defeated and jealous; Jisung could no longer hide it.

The two older boys could see it clearly in the way he looked at you with big sad eyes, though neither of them said anything. Chan’s brows furrowed in thought, it looked like you had someone else infatuated with you.

You laughed. “Uh-huh, because you’re the resident genius here. Jisung, you dropped two of your classes last semester because both professors were minutes away from giving you an administrative failure.”

“Yeah, yeah. Jisung’s head is full of rocks—” Minho dismissed, unsympathetic towards the scandalized boy next to him. “Why the hell are you turning my storage room into a junkyard?”

Chan finally stood, pulling the cord from his neck and throwing it to the side in favor of helping you up.

“It was already a junkyard, bundle-boy.” You said, voice clipped and annoyed. Who wouldn’t be after smashing their head against a solid piece of metal? “We were renovating.”

“Like hell you were. I thought I said no to the recording room?”

Minho’s rage was just about completely directed towards Chan, but to your surprise, the guy gave minimal to no reaction. His face stayed indifferent, wide shoulders relaxed and eyes set.

You’ll be dammed, the fucker wasn’t scared.

Chan wasn’t afraid of your brother.

There was someone on the planet who didn’t go running when Minho looked at them funny, and he was standing right next to you in his beautiful sleeveless glory. If you weren’t currently suffering from a possible concussion you would be dropping to one knee and popping the question then and there.

“Oh, so what you said earlier was a no?” Chan (very unconvincingly) feigned innocence. “Sorry, the phone connection must’ve been bad.”

“I was yelling to you from the other room.”

“These walls are very thick, Minho. It’s your apartment, you should know that.”

“Do you want to be homeless?”

“Define; home.”

That was it, he was your one true love.

As Minho began to cross his arms over his chest, squaring up to Chan with the glare of a certifiable killer, you slid out of the way to avoid the oncoming fist fight.

Or explosion, whichever route Minho decided to take.

But then the unthinkable happened—Minho sighed, dropping his arms to his sides and turning towards you.

Both you and Jisung stood speechless, because you just witnessed someone give Minho an attitude and not get beat down afterwards. Hyunjin had once attempted the same thing and had been chased around the quad for a good forty minutes until the taller man had gotten tired and your brother had become uninterested.

Felix told you that they were both reemed during dance practice that night for being too tired to execute their choreography.

Minho shook his head, “You and Changbin were probably going to convince me anyway. Might as well save the wasted time and get it done now.”

Either your brother had a fat crush on Chan, or the Lee Minho was afraid of someone.

You knew Chan was older than him, but someone had to have some sort of super power to keep Minho from kicking their shins and shoving a knee in their face.

“What is happening…?” Jisung wondered, eyes wide and mouth open.

Chan smiled, striding over to clap Jisung on the shoulder, making the shorter boy jump in surprise.

“Good news. We’re getting a recording studio.”

And you would like to get married to one Bang Chan please.

You joined Chan’s side.

“Now you can finish that song you were working on.” You said, nudging Jisung’s shoulder.

He was just going to ignore the sudden wave of excitement at the fact that you remembered that he was working on a song.

“Yeah, I guess so.” Jisung laughed tensely. “Looks like I’ll be around more often.”

“Yeah, definitely…”

You nodded absentmindedly, eyes locked on the exposed skin of Chan’s arms. Chan himself didn’t acknowledge your stare, but couldn’t help the smug smile that slid onto his face.

Jisung watched the exchange and groaned, looking over to glare at Minho for failing him the only time it truly would end badly for him. Because of course Minho had to be soft for Chan and of course Chan had to be moving in.

Why couldn’t Chan just be ugly?

“Okay,” Chan sighed, placing all the wires he held into a pile on the floor. Suddenly, he turned to you, “You held up your end of the bargain. Let’s work on some stats, huh?”

Your eyes widened for a second, caught in headlights.

“Oh,” was your smart reply. “But we didn’t get to finish?”

Chan waved it off. “The only reason we tried to get it all done was to make sure Minho couldn’t say no. Now that he’s accepted it, we don’t have to rush.”

As much as it bothered him not to finish a project.

You laughed at the little punch Minho threw at Chan’s shoulder on his way out of the room, mumbling something about “going to bed before Changbin comes home to beg for food”. He also made sure to pinch your cheek before leaving.

After swatting at Minho’s hand, you grinned.

“Okay, well… Let’s figure out how we’re going to do this.”

Chan mimicked your smile with a nod.

No way, Jisung thought as you followed his older friend out into the living room, no fucking way.

You just left him without an acknowledging glance his way, and all of a sudden he had a really terrible feeling about leaving you and Chan alone together. Anything could happen—kissing, fucking, god forbid you talk to him. You could become closer and gain feelings for the guy, which would not be a hard task considering Chan was basically the human embodiment of the sun and every damn person seemed to be pulled into his orbit after the first meeting.

Dammit, it was even difficult for Jisung to be mad at him. The guy was too lovable.

Cursing under his breath, Jisung all but ran into the living room to prevent any and all touching or deep talks, because heaven knew how much Chan talked about deep shit.

Ew, he sounded like Minho.

“You don’t have any notes at all?” Chan asked, eyebrows raised. “What do you even do in there?”

You let out a sigh.

“Stats is where I usually do my biology work.”

“Then what do you do in biology?” He questioned bluntly, his eyes skimming all the lost files on your computer that you had given up on ages ago.

“That’s where I write all my essays. The teacher—”

“—never stands up from his chair.”

With wide eyes, you laughed in surprise. Your mouth formed many words but nothing stumbled out, perhaps for a good reason because what you had in your head wasn’t very coherent on its own.

So you just pointed at the snickering Chan, “You…?”

His head shook and your mood dropped.

“I don’t do work for other classes,” he corrected, the mischievous smile slowly sliding onto his lips giving you a little hope back. “I actually produced a whole song in that class.”

Was Jisung dreaming or were you looking at Chan with those big bewildered eyes? Was that what was happening right in front of him? Could he be seeing things?

For once he really hoped he was going insane.

“I knew I wasn’t the only one that slacked off in that class!” You chirped, bouncing a little in your seat.

“And I still got a one-hundred on my exam.” He told you pointedly before passing on the laptop and leaning back on the couch.

Normally, smugness wouldn’t have been attractive to you but on Chan it was something else. His eyes lit up in a way that was almost pretty.

There was a pull towards him as he just sat there and looked at you. It was something that set you on edge in the same way it put you at ease, he just had such a conflicting presence and you really didn’t know how to process it. So your body pushed you forward on it’s own, and with no complaints from him, you felt your hand come to rest on his knee—

But out of the fucking blue, Jisung was throwing himself between you two, his thinner body fitting snuggly in the unfilled space. You sputtered and Chan nearly yelped, holding his hand to his chest to placate his thudding heart.

“Jisung—what the fuck?”

“Did you just jump over the back of the couch?” Chan frowned looking over his shoulder to really determine the path Jisung took to get there.

Jisung smiled obnoxiously, “I just figured I’d help you guys out. Considering I’m also in that class.” He wiggles a little more to separate the two of you even more. “And three brains are better than two.”

“Not when yours is nonexistent.” You quipped, feeling your lips pull into a pout at the intruder.

“Ah, how I love your humor.”

Jisung poked your nose with a tight lipped smile.

Sending Chan a look of apology, he shrugged, falling back further into the couch.

“Sure, why not?” Was his response, shoulders lifting up and falling back down with a huff. “Let me help you set up some proper notes.”

Jisung brought his hands together once to create a near deafening sound that had you even more irritable. His happy-go-lucky mood wasn’t funny when you were on the receiving end of the annoyance.

One nice thing—you couldn’t have one single nice thing ever.

Between your brother and his dumb best friend (that you may or may not have sorta feelings for) you couldn’t do anything. Your prime years were being wasted on sucky romance movies with Felix and Hyunjin and cat fights with Jisung. You couldn’t afford such bullshit for much longer.

“You know I love you, Y/n.”

“Stuff your love up your ass.”

The rest of the week passed by smoothly with minimal conflict on your end and grades that didn’t have you contemplating slamming your face into a wall. On weekends you usually spent most of your time at Minho’s apartment while Changbin dicked around at the gym and your brother slept for the forty-eight hours that he had to himself. You could watch movies and finish your homework with no distractions.

That was until Chan decided to move in and steal your attention every moment he could. You were even starting to suspect that he was doing it on purpose after the time he walked out of the bathroom in only a bath towel and responded with a “oh, I didn’t notice you there”.

You also concluded that Felix was a snitch and no longer deserved your friendship, because once you shared with him your encounter with Chan, everyone in your group of friends was wired in to everything that concerned you and Chan.

Especially Jisung. Which eventually caused—

“Jisung why the hell are you following me?”

The boy in question didn’t bother to acknowledge you, instead he simply continued to walk at your side, hands stuffed deep in his pockets and hair just a little messier than usual, “What do you mean? This is how I get to my next class.”

You snorted. “Last time I checked, you had dropped your two-thirty class. And even then, it was on the other side of the building.”

Jisung couldn’t help but roll his pretty brown eyes.

“Stalker…”

“Says the guy who’s been up my ass all day.” You chirped, taking pride in the way he glared at you.

Jisung threw his hands up in frustration. He knew what he was doing was out of character, sure. But did he want to be called out on it?

“Can I not hang out with you? God, Y/n. We’ve known each other for years, I’d think you’d get used to me being around.”

You merely shook your head with a laugh, continuing forward.

“You’re really something else.”

He snorted, “So you’re being an adult now?”

“When am I not the adult when I’m with you? There’s no room for stupid energy with you around.” You replied cheekily

“Well I’m sorry for hogging all the ‘stupid energy’, damn…”

The way that Jisung held up the air quotes for “stupid energy” had your cheeks aching from how hard you smiled.

“Well, I’m going to lunch with Felix and Hyunjin right now. So unless you want to be subjected to their combined stupidity, I would suggest you go back to your dorm.” You sent him a small smile over your shoulder, just barely missing the way he tripped over his feet because of it.

Felix had called you in a rush right as you were getting out of your last class of the day and asked you to come eat lunch with him and Hyunjin. It was a one sided conversation that lasted almost ten seconds but you figured you had no other choice but to comply. Whatever reason he had for being in such a hurry was enough for you to listen.

“But you can come if you want, Sungie. I’m sure they won’t mind.”

Sungie.

It had been a while since you last called him that nickname—possibly way back when you were in primary school. It sent chills down his spine to hear you call him that again.

Jisung caught up to you easily, slinging his arm around your shoulders just as he used to when you began calling him Sungie. Over the years it had started to put a strain on him since he found it hard to differentiate what was friendly and what was too friendly. He had a girlfriend after all, and there were only so many things he could do with other girls that was acceptable.

But of course you were just Y/n. The little sister that bothered them all day and called him Sungie.

He didn’t have to feel embarrassed to hug you or tease you or hide his insecurities behind stupid pick up lines. Now matter how much it made his heart pound in his chest, you were still Minho’s baby sister—you were Jisung’s baby sister.

“I’d like that, my dear.” Jisung said, stuffing his free hand into his pocket and pulling you closer.

So close that it almost felt domestic.

Y’know, as domestic as it could get with someone who was like a little sister to him. He had a beautiful girlfriend too, so the domestication was more like a… family comfort and less like how it would feel if you were married and he was allowed to hold you as close as he wanted—

“Ah, you’re warm,” you hummed, making a small fuss of tucking yourself further into his hold. “It always looks like it’s going to be nice outside, but it seems like the weather changes its mind just as much as Hyunjin.”

You didn’t notice but Jisung was completely lost to everything you said after “you’re warm”. He just continued to hum and nod as if his brain wasn’t completely fried.

Jisung was in the midst of a mental breakdown when you somehow managed to lead him to the small restaurant right outside of the university. It was a popular place since it was so close and dolled out cheap food in a matter of seconds, which definitely appealed to its main demographic.

You spotted Felix’s head of purple hair immediately, a bright smile etched onto his face as he spoke animatedly to the waiter standing at the ready. The boy was cute, black hair and pretty dimples that made him appear younger. He also looked friendly with Felix with how he spoke with a wide smile that showed his perfect teeth.

You approached the table, shrugging Jisung’s arm off of you and ignoring his whine in protest.

“I made it,” you announced, gaining the attention of your friends—

And fuck.

You met eyes with Seungmin sitting in the seat beside Felix, and felt your shoulders slump as he flashed you a smirk.

“Glad you could come, Y/n.” Seungmin all but sang at your visible distress.

But Felix had a hold on your arm before you could respond with attitude, tugging you dangerously close to the waiter at your side.

“Y/n, this is Jeongin—” Felix gestured towards the boy who lifted his hand to wave. “He’s a school friend of Hyunjin’s.”

“It’s my last year.” Jeongin added with a shy laugh.

Peeling your eyes away from Seungmin, you got a good look at the boy in front of you. The unexpected cuteness both startled you and made your stomach flip. You really had to withhold from squealing and pinching his cheeks. He was so cute.

You smiled genuinely, “It’s nice to meet you, Jeonginnie.”

A small wave of red covered his ears at the sudden nickname, his long eyelashes fluttering in surprise.

Jisung just about combusted in his spot. He was getting pretty sick and tired of keeping tabs on all the boys you managed to hook around your finger, it was starting to get out of hand. Okay, maybe he was the stalker.

In a bout of frustration, Jisung grabbed your hand and interlaced your fingers, sliding into the booth beside Hyunjin and tugging you after him. You made a noise of surprise as your ass connected harshly with the cracked red cushion of the booth, sending Jisung a glare.

Though, he kept his eyes on the table, avoiding the amused looks on everyone’s faces, even going as far as swatting away Hyunjin’s poking fingers. But for whatever reason, he couldn’t bring himself to release your hand from his.

Jisung’s palm was sweaty in your hold, but strangely enough it was something that you didn’t mind.

Jeongin looked between you and Jisung for a moment before quickly coming to some sort of realization that only Felix seemed to understand. His mouth formed an ‘o’ shape and a small smirk was suddenly on his lips as he asked what drink you would like.

Whatever that was about, you didn’t like it.

“I’ll just have a water.” You answered skeptically, finally managing to pull your fingers free of Jisung’s grip.

“Water for me too.”

Jeongin didn’t bother to write down your orders, instead he just nodded and left with that same goofy smile on his face.

Why did your friends have to corrupt the poor kid?

You sent a glare towards Felix, ready to grill him about what the hell just happened but his eyes were on something else above your head, his lips forming into the same smirk that Jeongin had on. Whatever what’s either above you or behind you was either a stupid compilation video of League of Legend funny moments or your next victim.

“Care for one more?” Came from behind you.

And both your and Jisung’s heads swiveled around at a dangerous speed to see the beautiful image of Chan, and damn was he beautiful. He was dressed for the weather, arms now covered in a long black sweater that hugged every one of his muscles so so nicely, and instead of sweatpants, he was wearing jeans. You could definitely tell the difference between a casual day around the house and one where he was going to be seen out in public—was that makeup?

And Jisung frowned. It had been going so well.

It was his turn to send Felix a glare.

The purple haired boy mouthed something along the lines of “girlfriend”, but Jisung couldn’t (could) really make it out.

“Sit down.” You managed to choke out, motioning toward the table.

“Hey!” Felix greeted, standing up to fully embrace Chan in a hug.

You were floored.

“You know each other?”

Felix’s eyes flickered towards you, “We both grew up in Sydney.”

And you thought your eyes were going to pop out of your skull.

“You’re Australian?” You gaped, watching Chan as if he had sprouted a new head.

He then proceeded to spout off some heavily accented words that you could barely make sense of, and you could feel your heart practically flutter in your chest. After meeting Felix, you never thought you’d ever find an Australian accident sexy as hell—but Chan’s was, in fact, very sexy as hell.

“Wow,” Hyunjin whistled. “What does it take for one to become Australian, because fuck.”

You didn’t think you would ever agree with Hyunjin so much in your life.

Chan snorted. “I think you have to be born in Australia unfortunately.”

“Or you know,” Felix tossed sarcastically. “Live there.”

“Damn. Always the catch.”

You sighed, almost going as far as face-palming yourself and/or slamming your forehead against the table.

Instead you just sent Chan an embarrassed smile. “You can sit down if you aren’t planning on running away.”

“Thanks.” He laughed.

Unfortunately for you, there were already three people in your booth and he wouldn’t be able to fit beside you.

Fortunately for Jisung, there were already three people in your booth and Chan wouldn’t be able to fit beside you.

But when Chan began to slide in the seat next to Felix, Hyunjin suddenly jumped with a yelp, glaring at the suspicious looking Felix in front of him. The two had a very strange conversation with their eyes before Hyunjin was huffing a sigh and maneuvering himself to slip under the booth and (clumsily, you may add) pop out on the other side of Seungmin, ignoring the spectacled boys' complaints as he sends Chan a smile.

Stupid plotting assholes.

“Just wanted to sit next to my… uh—”

“Boyfriend?” You supplied, blinking at him dully.

“Yeah, my boy—hey, fuck you!”

“Sorry, were you waiting to tell people?”

He took the liberty to be the kicker instead of the kickee and sent his foot into your ankle, making you hiss with a glare.

Felix nudged Chan’s hip to direct him into the spot beside you, his mouth open in a wide smile as you are further squished between both Jisung and Chan. With one boy being very broad and the other being very clingy, you barely had any room at all.

“Y/n, you look a little cramped, why don’t you scoot over here a little more—?”

“Jisung, if I get any closer to you, I would be on top of you.”

Hey, he wasn’t completely opposed to that plan.

Jisung certainly would rather have you on his lap than Chan’s. He couldn’t even think about that without grasping for your hand again, though you were too fast and managed to wiggle out of his grip.

“Yeah, Y/n. Why don’t you just scoot over?” Hyunjin sang, his mouth curled up in a coy little smirk that he always had carved onto his face.

“You scheming little—”

But your words were cut off by the clearing of a throat.

Seungmin leaned over the table, and the way his sleeves were rolled to his forearms was suddenly very noticeable. He looked at you with the intention to kill, and had he not been a prudish reincarnation of the devil, you would’ve thought he looked hot as fuck.

“Do you want me to retell the little incident that took place at last year’s Christmas party?”

A collective gasp went around the table, Chan being the only one who was absolutely clueless.

Felix whispered something under his breath about how “that was sworn to secrecy”, and Hyunjin’s wide eyes stuck to the side of Seungmin’s face like glue.

Even Jisung broke out of his jealous stupor to gulp.

“You wouldn’t dare.”

“I would.”

That was the true form of Kim Seungmin. 

“What? Do dinners like this happen all the time?” Chan asked. “Do you ever actually eat?”

As if on queue, Jeongin stepped up to the table, notepad in hand and wide eyes sparkling. “Are you guys ready to order—?”

But Felix was dragging the boy down to his height, whispering something quickly into his ear, causing his eyes to widen. After enlarging, his gaze flickered back and forth between you, Jisung and Chan. 

“I… will give you guys a few more minutes.”

Jeongin scurried off and you wanted to kill everyone at the table. 

“Well, I’m going to answer my own question here and say no. There will be no eating food today.” Chan hummed, tossing his menu onto the table similarly to a petulant child. 

You huffed. What did you ever do to deserve any of this?

With both boys at either side of you, it seemed to create a visual representation of the conflict in your mind. And Seungmin looked like he was ready to pass out with how hard he was trying to hold in his laughter as Felix and Hyunjin simply smiled your way. 

To say that the two boys were completely clueless, would’ve been an understatement—

With Chan too busy thinking about all the food he wouldn’t be eating and Jisung preoccupied trying to grab ahold of your hand, they didn’t once notice the way that the three little devils stared holes into their heads. 

“I literally can’t stand any of you.”

[harrytheehottie]

HOLD MY HAND: PART THREE

A/N: hi hi hi hi! okay, so this chapter is all written in harry’s point of view. i am planning to do this sporadically throughout this story because there is ~context~ that needs to be explored :) as always grateful for the legend @for-fucks-sake-h for encouraging me every step of the day! and @sunflowers-styles​ for always lending a helpful hand! 💘💘💘💘 

please let me know what you guys think 🥺 hope you enjoy! xx 

“Why the fuck would you say that? We’ve only just met the girl.” I corner Thomas as soon as the door to the studio closes behind us.

“Exactly, we’ve just met the girl and you’re already asking her out to lunch? Harry, do you know how that makes you look?”

“Makes me look? She’s going to be at that bloody desk for the next two months while we write this fucking album, I was just being nice.” I roll my eyes at him, ready for whatever jab he throws next.

“You’re always being nice, until you’re six months into a relationship you never wanted and we are left to pick up the pieces,” Thomas says with concern in his voice, pointing over at Mitch and Tyler right as he said “we”, it was like he was waiting to pull that card out from his back pocket.

“Wow, s’nice really, I kind of seeing it coming when it’s the Daily Mail insinuating that I don’t know how to keep a relationship, but not when it’s my own fucking friends.”

“Hey guys, let’s just settle down and cool off for a moment before we start saying more things we might regret,” Mitch speaks up from the couch that he and Tyler are occupying.

The two of us look over at Mitch and then back at each other. A beat of silence passes between the four of us before taking our respective seats across the room to cool off from one another.

I know who I am, I get reminded of it everyday. Harry Styles, international pop star who just finished a six month arena world tour off his one solo studio album. I’ve done a decent job getting rid of the stereotypes that were put on me early on; womanizer, player, cheater. It still follows me though, eight fucking years and it still ruined my last relationship.

I never have time to process things. I am always going, going, going. It’s the side effect of getting famous at 16. Someone is always there telling you what to do, what to say, how to look. It doesn’t stop at 25, it just gets different.

Two months ago, I played the last show of my first solo world tour. Touring is my favorite part of the job, the screaming fans at every show, the hustle and bustle of flying to different cities and having 72 hours to explore most places, growing closer with my band and crew. It’s honestly sometimes more fun than writing the albums.

On one hand, I had a successfully completed tour behind me, but on the other hand I was heartbroken. So, when Jeff, my manager and best friend, suggested coming back to LA to channel all of my negative energy into writing my next album, I took the next flight out.

&&

The rest of the session was fine. Thomas apologized to me. We spent the rest of the time just talking and catching up, that’s the fun part about songwriting, creating songs that are built off of lived experiences between you and the people you’re writing with.

Sofia came into the room thirty minutes before our time was up to let us know we should start wrapping up. A collective “alright” was said from the boys and I was greeted with a nod from her as she made her way back to the front desk.

Last night, we were all sent an email from the studio owner informing us with all the details on arrival times, directions and parking. Jeff let me know that he put in a request to have the same person working throughout our time at the studio to make things easier.

I was getting ready for bed when I saw the text from Jeff pop up confirming all the details. I scrolled through his message until I saw her name on the screen, not thinking anything of it and continuing on brushing my teeth. It wasn’t until I got into bed and started my late night routine of Instagram scrolling that I found myself on her page and thought, holy shit she was attractive.

                                                   Sofia Harris

                                                     25 | LA

                                    ⭐️ my life in little squares ⭐️

Her smile in every picture was so genuine, as if the moment the camera clicked she was the happiest she could ever be. I found myself scrolling through images of her on vacation, at brunch with her friends, her birthday parties, her everyday life, just put in tiny little squares for me to fixate on.

I catch myself before I stop, we are not doing this again Harry.

&&

The second day in the studio was going to be different. Yesterday at lunch, Sofia mentioned that she loved the smoothies and pastries at Sunlife. I text the guys and ask them for their orders before stopping by and grabbing breakfast for us all on my way to the studio.

As I pull into the parking lot of the studio I notice Sofia’s jeep is parked next to Thomas’s white convertible, the neon paint splattered throughout the car is hard to miss. I park my car, grab the breakfast, and head out, pushing the nerves that I am feeling down. It’s just breakfast for everyone.

“Morning, didn’t sleep through your alarm this time?” I say to Sofia. She looks up at me from behind the desk as soon as I walk through the door, rolling her eyes at my comments - something I’ve noticed her do a few times yesterday. She looks at the drinks and bags in my hands and immediately gets up from her chair.

“Oh, let me help you with that,” she hurries towards me before I can even make a few steps into the building taking the tray of smoothies.

“I thought we could celebrate you being on time today,” I say through my grin as Sofia walks us towards the kitchen.

“Shut up Harry,” she immediately retorts, rolling her eyes and all.

The kitchen is beautiful, it still has that vintage vibe with the green and pink backsplash all around the counters. A huge farm-style table sits in the middle of the room with a bench on either side. Sofia sets the drinks on the table and I do the same.

“The matcha one is yours,” she looks at me confused.

“Did you take a wild guess or did you just know that was my favorite?”

“You said it at lunch yesterday,” I say as I rummage through the bag looking for the almond croissant.

She looks up at me slowly as she takes another sip of her smoothie like she wants to say something but she knows she can’t. There is an obvious silence in the room as we both look at each other. She cracks a smile and then I do the same.We stay like that for a few minutes, eating our pastries, drinking our smoothies and just stewing in comfortable silence and then Mitch walks in.

The next few days are like that. I wake up, drive to Sunlife, get breakfast, innocently flirt with Sofia, ask her to lunch,never two days in a row, but always to Nobu and repeat. That feeling in my stomach is still there; nerves, butterflies whatever it is I know I won’t be able to do anything about it.

I’m going to be fucked.  

[pop-punklouis]

The thing that gets me to doubt h&L is the camille thing and it's not the song Cherry it's the lyrics (you r not here and there's no one to blame but the drink & my wandering hands) It potrays him as a cheater. I saw a Trans youtuber review the song but he said it sucks H cheated and the fans on livechat were like mad typing no he didn't! He was like you guys are in denial he clearly cheated. Why would managment portray him as a cheat if they're trying to market to hets or make him desirable?

i just. i don’t know how else to say this because i’ve said it multiple times on my blog when plagued with this exact question: it’s songwriting. it’s literature. it’s art. all of his songs just like louis’ or anyone else’s should filter through that mindset first before using words so literally. besides, it isn’t surprising that the phrase “wandering hand” would be used as harry’s entire image has been set up on him being a womanizer and never being able to settle down or stay committed. it’s saddled onto him at this point, and it’s still used to market him to the masses. so, regardless of how literal or creative that song is, it isn’t surprising that it’d be used to center that narrative further with camille but in a more “this was my first real love, and i fucked up and really miss her” heartbroken swan song of an album that does bring sympathy from his fans. like a friend of mine went to One Night Only and when he played cherry there were three girls behind her crying and being all “oh harry no :(.” don’t underestimate a marketing ploy. it hits angles beneath what you see on the surface.

also, circling back around to my first point, i wish it was more common knowledge that songwriting isn’t always autobiographical. songwriting can have just as much you in it without it being apart of your personal life. it’s a form of creative writing— of storytelling. just like authors who write fiction and even fans who write fanfiction. these things they write about more than likely haven’t happened to them, but they know how to bleed the words into a convincing story or emotional upheaval that connects with others while still having a part of them in the creative process. one of the biggest examples is Dolly Parton (out of a plethora of other artists) who has over 3000 songs she’s written in her career about heartache, tragedy, affairs, abuse etc. yet she’s been married to the same man since she was 19-20 years old. she’s gone on record several times and spoken about how she spins words to tell a story and connect with an audience because that’s what good songwriters do. it’s a gift. a talent. and with how observant and interested harry is of other people’s lives and stories, it isn’t shocking to think he does take inspiration from all the people he comes in contact with. Canyon Moon and From the Dining Table are two great examples. CM for writing down his senses while creating the song as “Jenny” yells to go get the kids from school while he stays with Kid Harpoon’s family. FTDT due to that track being a mashup of love and loss stories from everyone there who worked on that record. not everything is completely autobiographical. sometimes it is, but sometimes it isn’t. and it’s up to you to dig into that and come out with your own opinion. but the above thoughts are mine.