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ao3-sucks · 4 years ago

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my own ao3 experience was that i got into it when i was in a huge fandom that had a bunch of underage and incestuous pairings and fics. i really started getting into it when i was like fresh into middle school and not soon after that id start reading a bunch of explicit fics. basically pretty sure reading that stuff is what made me feel anxious around my 2 older siblings and like if i showed any kind of affection like even a hug or just laughing at a joke sometimes itd be seen as a sign of attraction. im in my 20s now and it still really affects me. i feel like less valid with my online trauma somehow bc i did it to myself lol.

Anonymous said to ao3-sucks:

I got manipulated by an adult into writing an extremely triggering fic about rape and abuse between two young siblings, and ended up having to draw on my own traumatic experiences for it. I pretended to be okay with it, and let them say it was my fault it was like that, and when I finally got tired of hiding it and publicly called them out on it, multiple people defended them, using that pretense against me. I still haven't fully recovered from that. Sometimes I wonder if it really was my fault.

Anonymous said to ao3-sucks:

thank you SO MUCH for this blog, I was groomed into thinking the wildest of things were acceptable by fandom people, and it wasnt until i was about 15 or 16 that i finally wised up and dropped the thinking once and for all. thank you again and have a really good week!

Anonymous said to ao3-sucks:

I don’t really know how old the post that talked about the experience of one of the mods with ao3 is, but just in case, this is about that post that had mentions of r//pe and @“cest. And damn, I’ve never stopped to think that my aversion to sex maybe came from my early exposure to that kind of stuff, now I know that I’m asexual, but it’s comforting to see that I’m not alone in this, so thank you for sharing your story

Anonymous said to ao3-sucks:

god this is probably stupid and you dont have to post this if you don't want to, but thank you so much for making this page. ive had similar experiences in online fandom and ive really struggled with classifying any of it as "real" since it was all online. that post talking about your experience with everything was really eye opening for me. thank you for reminding me im not alone.

Anonymous said to ao3-sucks:

wrt your ao3 essay // thank you for sharing your story about ao3. ive had some similar experiences, but i never interacted with anyone on ao3, just read ff. in around a 1-2 years of consuming that content, i had developed some psychosis relating to sexual trauma, but i never had anything happen to me so i didnt really know what to think. i was just scared. its nice to know that.. it wasnt just random? that more people are talking about this? something like that. thank you. i hope you are well.

Anonymous said to ao3-sucks:

i just read through your experiences and while i was never really involved with fanfiction during my childhood, i WAS exposed to plenty of other weird interactions on other sites starting probably as early as 11 and just realized that me starting to use the internet more probably coincides with me showing similar things such as starting to hate being touched and consider myself asexual/sex repulsed. it was nothing that i'd considered to be that impactful or big a deal before and there weren't really specific people to blame, but i definitely don't know how to feel about this knowledge now.

Anonymous said to ao3-sucks:

just read that post abt your ao3 experience and holy fuck, so sorry you had to go through that. but also, thank you. its scary to think tht ive cldve been in the same situation since i was browsing the internet from a v young age. i was huge into roleplaying and thereve been a few times where it became, uuh... not completely sfw (unknowingly to me, i just wanted to rp). but the moment it became too weird, i ghosted n blocked (i had a very anti-internet-stranger policy). again, thanks. take care

Anonymous said to ao3-sucks:

I was 12 when I got my first ship. I got into it because of the cute art online and I never once thought about it being bad. It was pedophilic amongst other things. I just started writing fic, so I wrote for this ship. I was asked to write straight up human AU "porn where xyz is a pedo" by people far older than me. I didn't know any better, I wrote it and every other request like it. It go so bad that I though that pedophilia was OKAY. It took me so long to unlearn that and many other things because of that ship and I still feel bad for ever having shipped it. So when people say things like "fiction doesn't effect reality" it makes me mad. It teaches little kids that things like pedophilia and rape are okay.

I opted to answer these as a group because they are all so similar. It breaks my heart how often I get anons, post replies, and reblogs about my AO3 essay from people saying that my experiences closely mirrored theirs. I hope that everyone who has sent me these messages can forgive themselves for what happened to them, and know that it’s not your fault that other people decided to take advantage of you. I’m working on healing, and I hope you can all do the same.

- Mod Daft

#testimonials #anti ao3 #ao3 critical #fandom critical #mod daft posts #Anonymous

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rockford-rp · 4 years ago

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Rockford announcement time... This will get long as a lot needs to be said so bear with me.

Many have seen the anon that was sent along with the comments made by past members of the group. I didn’t respond last night because I needed to take a step back, reflect, and just get some advice and thoughts out. I think that it is fair to say that I have always let this be a place open to criticism. I have never hidden an issue or not addressed things. When someone has come to me with an issue in the group or with me I hope that you can all attest to the fact that I have been open and listened and been fair? I am definitely not a guilt free person of my shortcomings as an admin and player. I will not rollover what was said in that I have too many characters and the energy gets distributed differently. That is absolutely fair to call out. It is never intentional or personal but if anyone has ever felt slighted by that I take responsibility for it. I am sorry if there have been hurt feelings through my actions. I fall short of things and I am not the perfect writing partner but I also think it is fair to say that I have put the effort in to connect with everyone here? I cannot think of a current member and majority of past ones that I have not put energy into developing something with a character. An actual important relationship. Maybe you did not see it that way but it was there.

I just wish that with how open I have been as an admin that people would have come to me personally instead of bringing these things up after the fact in post comments and not giving me the chance. I know I don’t do well with messages on personal accounts. I’m just not a talker. I never have been and with my different accounts I am very forgetful with going back to IM’s but I have always answered when an issue has risen and been there to see through the issue and have a full conversation. I think that I have been respectful in being there to listen and understanding where people have been coming from. So many times people have been right about what they are bringing to me. Just like now I do see some of the points made. I’m not going to get defensive when there are truths said. I just wish if there was a reason that involved me as to why someone left the group that they would have respected me and come to me instead of me having to read it on a post. It kind of leaves me at a lost. I never want anyone to leave Rockford for bad reasons. It will happen but if you don’t come to me I don’t know what I am supposed to do.

Addressing that... As Rose said in her response to some of the things said, I feel the last couple years that there has kind of been an expectation on solely me to make a lot of people’s time here a fulfilling experience in writing and with ships. I love shipping with you all. I love creating so many different dynamics. I don’t want that to change at all. I have a lot of characters and a lot of males so I am going to get a lot of connections. I love those connections. I don’t want to change them and I don’t want to stop making new things with you all. But while at Rockford I have gone through a lot in my life and sadly they have all been bad things. Some major things I think most members know about and some other things you don’t. I am not saying that for sympathy or as an excuse I don’t want it to be that but why I am bringing it up is because the last two years my time and energy here has made a huge shift. I am not the admin I was the first half of this group being open. The responsibilities of being in charge of a group and the amount of time writing have taken a lot of time on the backburner. When I had the time I tried to come on and put the same efforts in for everyone but that didn’t always happen. And I have felt guilty because I know a lot of the groups activity revolves around mine. There were times that I should have taken a step back from the group but I didn’t want it to die and I didn’t want to lose the character relationships that I had been writing for years. The group has suffered from me lacking in both the roles I play here. I really do apologize for that.

The truth is, that energy is just still not there like it used to be. My life has changed a lot, I have more responsibilities then when I started this group. My hope was that I could eventually return to how I was. I have been waiting for that but the truth is I can’t. I wish that I could. I wish I could give everyone the same energy. I know that I have too many characters for the amount of time I have but it has also allowed me to be able to make sure I do have connections with everyone. That I do give more people deeper connections. But with that being said while I always want to make an effort to be better for the members here, and I will try my best even now, with life how it is, there just isn’t going to be a huge shift back to how I was before. I am sorry for that but I want to be honest. I think you guys deserve that.

This a lot to read but all of this has been leading up to is this...

As I said I have spent time reflecting on Rockford. It has had its flaws. I have failed it many times when I never meant to but I love this group. I love the characters here. I love the connections I have made. I love the people I have met even if I am probably the most anti-social here that is never a reflection of what I feel for this group or the members. I have been here 5 years. Dedicated a lot of time and energy to the writing connections with everyone. I don’t want to lose it but I have faced the fact that it’s just not going to be what it was. I am a nostalgic person so many of times I wish it could be the same but it isn’t. So with that I had to make a decision. It has one I thought about and talked over with a couple people to get some wisdom and moving forward with Rockford I think the next step is to close it as an open group. What does this mean? Basically we will be a glorified mumu. I will make a post with more details about what this will look like when I have the time but to quickly explain now... I will be closing the option for the open public to apply here. It will be about the members that we have currently and will keep it a small private group.

I know some may disagree with that decision and I understand that. I don’t want to see anyone else go but if that is not what you want in a group then I absolutely get and respect that. I know that some people might be thinking aren’t you just being more exclusive now? And I understand that as well. I get how it may look it but this isn’t about leaving people out. It’s that I have looked at the group as a whole and it is not just me that cannot put the same energies into it. Real life takes over and that is okay! Never should you feel guilty about that. RP is a hobby. It’s an escape. It should be a small piece of your life. Days are super slow on the dash because of it but I know that there aren’t a lot of groups out there that you can join and stay in with activity limits so I tried to make Rockford different. But I don’t think it is fair to keep it open anymore when the high level energy that is sometimes needed can’t be there when people come in. This is not a decision I have made lightly but I feel like it is the only realistic one to make. My only other option would be to close completely and I don’t want to stop writing with the people here. So again current members, if you don’t agree with this please know that I understand, but I would love for you to stay. I would love the chance to continue writing the relationships we have made together. So I hope you do stay but will respect your choice either way.

Again, this is not personal. This is me seeing the issues that are brought up and thinking about the best thing to do and this is what feels right to me. It is just the new chapter I think that Rockford needs to take right now. I wouldn’t do it if I didn’t think it was for the best. I just am not what this group needs to be an open group anymore. It’s my baby and I don’t want to lose it and lose all the amazing connections here that I love writing. It’s not easy for me to make the choice but I hope that everyone can understand where it is that I am coming from with this. Members, as said I will be writing a more detailed post on what this looks like for us that will hopefully work for everyone here, but if you have any questions just reach out here and I will reply when I am able.

Again, sorry this is so long but I think that all of this needed to be said. I am sad about closing the current chapter but love the chance to continue writing with you all.

Thank you for allowing me to have been your admin these past 5 years and thank you to the current members and the past for making Rockford an rp home.

Much love,

-Admin Rey

#rockford:admin

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mannatea · 4 years ago

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Hi. I used to follow your old blog on a different account. Hope you're doing well. Do you have any tips on thinking up stories that are *not* dark and depressing due to subject material? The last story I was working on I had to quit because the backstory I was developing for my passive male character was super depressing. At times I enjoyed researching it, though what won out was the thought I was wasting my time looking into angsty things for something I wasn't even planning to publish. Now I want to write something a little happier. But I have the most experience in writing angst and cringe comedy 😅 thanks for any help you can give. Stay safe out there!

By the way, good on you for dropping that manga you used to follow. I was happy most of the characters lived, but other than that, it felt "meh" to me (granted, I didn't read all the way from the beginning). The author was probably going for a "people will always be fighting each other" theme, but some of the imagery of what happened after a time skip could definitely be taken as pro-fascist. And I was disappointed the protagonist basically said he wanted to bring about destruction! I'm glad I didn't spend any money to read it.

Wow, hi! I’m doing all right, thanks for asking. I hope you’re doing all right, too. :)

As far as “that manga” goes, I’ve kept tabs on it. I’ve been on the fringes for the last two-ish years; I dedicated something like four real life years to that fandom and mostly had a good time while I was there (made some friends I hope to keep for life), so it was one of those situations where I just had to find out how it ended. I realized at some point that I was in a very negative space in the fandom, and felt it was better to publicly drop the series and the blog associated with all of my meta/discussion than to play in what had become a toxic pool for me. I didn’t really want to drop the account after my time there, but I couldn’t have dealt with the nonstop questions/messages/etc that would have piled in over the years, and eh, when you’re done you’re done. I criticize Hallmark television for fun, now, instead. It’s a lot less stressful! And literally nothing is That Deep so there’s very few delusions, at least on the Tumblr side of things. (Reddit, however, is insane, but I don’t post in the fandom there.)

As far as writing advice goes, I am going to apologize in advance for muddled thoughts. I just got out of work and have been staring at numbers all day, so it’s hard for me to think lmaoo.

In my opinion, any sort of character or personality type/flaw/whatever could have developed via a negative OR positive influence/catalyst, so that’s something to consider. I also think people tend to reach for “sad” or “traumatic” pasts either as a way to cope with their own issues/pasts/whatevers, or because it’s the “easy explanation” for why a character is the way they are.

If you WANT to write things a certain way, it’s sometimes a matter of changing the lens through which you’re viewing life, the story, the characters, or character writing in general. This is never easy, especially when you find a genre you feel comfortable in, but it’s always possible. When I was in college and submitted an autobiographical piece (Rot Tooth) for a creative writing final, I received multiple comments from classmates and even the professor that my talent/skill was in writing comedy. COMEDY!!!! I don’t think anyone who has read my writing from the last decade would say that I was a comedy writer. I stopped labeling ‘fics as humor/romance so long ago I can’t even remember when it was. But boom. I had written a comedy piece.

I don’t think I can ignore that most of the comedic elements in Rot Tooth were brought about because humor is one of the ways in which I cope with things, but it was also a very conscious choice I made. I wanted people to be able to engage with the story without being grossed out, without getting bored, without feeling that it was a poor-pathetic-me story, and humor was the classiest way to do it. Here, read this long story that includes journal entries from Ye Olde Livejournal days, but it will make you laugh often enough that the depressing aspects of the story don’t weigh it down too much! It was probably the only way to make the subject matter widely palatable.

As often as I joke about characters or scenes or moments that “just write themselves” the author does have control. I mostly write fanfiction, so let’s go with examples from that.

I’m (very slowly) working on a ‘fic called Three Years which features a character who, when last seen, was headed off to serve a prison sentence. They haven’t been on the show for three years and thus I assume they have been serving that sentence for the last three years. The story starts when this character is released from prison. They are a woman. This is a historical piece of fiction. Prisons were vile to women and yet...this is fiction. I have a choice. I get to choose. Does she get to start her life off carrying 25 bags of trauma or just 2? It would be unreasonable to expect that someone, especially a woman, who was imprisoned for 3 years in the early 1900s wouldn’t have some issues (at the very least, the isolation would have been awful), but it doesn’t really have to be much worse than that. It doesn’t.

I have the power to choose.

A character has anger issues. Sure, he could have had a traumatic past with an abusive parent who took his anger out on him or his mom or whatever...or maybe it is an inherited personality trait and the parent figure with the problem was never really That Bad about it, but seeing it normalized makes it harder for the character in question to realize it’s a huge problem and part of their character arc is realizing they need to get help, not because they don’t want to be like their dad, and not because they hate their dad, but because they just want to be a better person/they don’t want to let that struggle consume them.

Someone’s sweetheart goes off to war. Guess what? They don’t have to die there to force a traumatic past. They don’t have to come back a raging alcoholic either. Maybe the time apart, and the time fighting a war just puts a natural sort of crack in the relationship by making it clearer to each character what they want in life/what matters to them in their life.

A character is super passionate about their work/hobby. Maybe they have ADHD and it’s a hyperfixation. Maybe they’re autistic and it’s a Special Interest. It doesn’t have to be “their parents ignored them and forced them to be alone all the time and they used this thing to cope so it means everything to them because it’s always been there.”

Maybe you have a character whose greatest fear is losing the people they love. It doesn’t have to be because a pet died in their arms when they were four and it traumatized them. It doesn’t have to be because they only have one person they love in the whole world. It can just be a thing because that’s a valid fear literally anyone can reasonably have, and maybe it’s a bigger deal because they don’t have siblings or aren’t close to many people! (And the “aren’t close to many people” thing doesn’t have to stem from trauma, either. Most busy adults for example who get to choose their friends, are just like that.)

A perfectionist might just have the personality type; it doesn’t mean their parents criticized everything they ever did. A person with three failed marriages might hesitate to fall in love and try again but it doesn’t have to be because those three failed marriages were abusive. A quiet character may just be shy or introverted by nature.

I think everyone carries some kind of trauma with them, so it’s never unreasonable to have some in a person’s past (you can’t write an ugly character without having to think about the fact that they carry some trauma from what it’s like to grow up ugly), but it doesn’t have to define them. It doesn’t have to overshadow everything else in their past.

You can always ask yourself, “Why am I reaching for angst every time I create a backstory?” Literally everyone has some kind of angst. Most kids were hurt by things said to them in school, for example, or made fun of for some reason. Most people did something extremely embarrassing as a kid and never got over it. There are a thousand little moments in our adult lives that go back to these little points—you might call them the tiny traumas. But they’re not defining. They’re not so heavy they also live in the present. Not all of them.

Why do you reach for the darkest corner? Why not for the light? Or a middle ground?

I encourage people to write basically whatever floats their boat, but it sounds like you’re at a point where you just feel weighed down by that sort of stuff, and that’s not a great way to feel, especially when it discourages you from working on a project entirely.

My final suggestion: look at some of your favorite characters from various types of media. Are they all traumatized? What are their defining characteristics? Black Beauty has some depressing stuff in it, but is ultimately a story with a happy ending. Pride and Prejudice has drama, but nobody’s past is filled with the darkest stuff imaginable. North and South has awful things to consider in it (cotton mills were sooo awful) but the characters are not wildly traumatized people.

What kind of story are you trying to tell? Do the characters need to be traumatized to tell it? Does the story have to be dark to get across the message you want to send?

Way back in the day, when I was into “that manga” I made an RP blog for a one-off character that nobody gave a damn about. Like, he was so one-off that even back in those days nobody even remembered him having existed. It was sort of a joke RP blog that wasn’t supposed to be serious. The only canon information we had about this character was that he enjoyed drinking. I decided to make him a lighthearted character because the series was pretty dark and I wanted to send people hilarious starters instead of wading through the muck of depression with everyone else’s sad, abused characters. I decided his family was old money and he had a brother. Nothing super traumatizing in his past. Some family issues but not the sort of thing that would haunt anyone. He was not traumatized in his recent past any more than other characters were. Mostly just “a regular guy.” I really loved RPing him. He was fun! The story could get heavy but he didn’t have to be.

Anyway, dive head-first into the dark angst if you want, but if it’s not necessary to tell the story you want to tell, just remember you don’t have to go there. You have the choice.

#long post #thoughts about writing #nacrene-archaeologist #answered mail

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orihara-infobroker · 4 years ago

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Ranty rant rant about stuff because this cat just needs to vent.

So I've mentioned this before a few times though I don't really talk about it all that much. One of my on-and-off hobbies is role-playing. Tabletop, live-action, or narrative writing, I pretty much enjoy them all. For similar reasons to why I love writing stories. I like creating characters and worlds. In writing I do all the heavy lifting but role-playing has the unique experience of collaborative storytelling and that adds an element that can be very fun. Also, sometimes it's just fun to play in someone else's sandbox for a change.

Some time ago, a friend invited me to check out a Harry Potter rp site. The site itself is pretty decently setup and it seemed like it could be interesting. I'm not a huge Potter nerd but I've seen the movies and I'm a sucker for fantasy settings. But this isn't the first time I've dipped my toes in the HP universe so I thought that instead of doing the standard Eurocentric character, I'd try something different.

I admit, I'd been working pretty heavily on Shadow and Light at the time so that was strongly influencing my mood insofar as what I wanted to play with. So I submitted the idea of a Japanese character who had grown up in Japan but recently moved to London (thus why I'd be attending Hogwarts). The character's parents were onmyoji, part of a branch family of the Tsuchimikado clan. This clan is somewhat famous for its relation to Abe no Seimei who is arguably the most famous onmyoji in Japanese folklore. I also requested that the character be a metamorph which is a wizard who can change their features. Basically a kind of shape-shifting. Tonks was a metamorph, for reference. In requesting this, I was asked to explain why my family had a metamorph. So I wrote a piece where the character's mom told him the story of Abe no Seimei's mom being a fox that his Dad saved and that there had been stories told of how Abe no Seimei could change his appearance. (Not into a fox. Just change his appearance.) And how sometimes people in the clan would be born with the same ability.

Note that everything I incorporated into this character's backstory is based off actual Japanese mythology and not Harry Potter universe. Harry Potter universe doesn't actually address anything about how magic is done in the East. (And if Rowling ever comes up with anything it'll probably be hideously racist anyway but I digress.)

All of this is important, I promise.

So I was a Japanese pureblood kid raised to become an onmyoji only to end up at Hogwarts by pure misfortune. I thought this would be fun to play, basically a foreign exchange student completely out of his element, not understanding how Western magic works, struggling with having to learn English on top of magic, etc.

Well.

Apparently my idea set all sorts of fires under the admin staff of this site. They were opposed because:

1. They didn't think I knew what I was talking about when I suggested being onmyoji (wherein I proved that I actually know more about onmyoji and Japanese mythology than them.)

2. They didn't have lore on the East therefore they didn't want me making stuff up because it might not mesh with what they might eventually get around to creating somewhere down the road. Even though they had no current plans to develop the Eastern setting. (Yeah. You read that right. I was told... in a role play game... not to make stuff up... which is ironic given that I didn't actually make anything up, just liberally stole from actual Japanese mythology. Further, my character was going to Hogwarts so all of this was just backstory and flavour.)

3. I CANNOT BE RELATED TO ABE NO SEIMEI HE IS LIKE THE JAPANESE MERLIN!!!!!!! (Oh yes. Please. Make more ignorant racist comments at me. From now on I shall refer to Merlin as the English Abe no Seimei. -_- Abe no Seimei, while unlikely to be as mystical as he was made out to be in the stories, was a real person. Merlin was never real. He was always a fictional creation. Further, I never claimed to be related to Abe no Seimei. I claimed to be a branch family of the Tsuchimikado Clan to whom Abe no Seimei was either a member of or the founder of, depending on varying stories. So. Apparently they don't understand how Japanese clans work? Or branch families? No? OK, great. GREAT.)

4. They claimed that my story about the kitsune wasn't appropriate because kitsune were a type of mythical creature and metamorphs are completely human so I can't be "half-fox". Further, one of them claimed I wanted to be "half-demon". (Which is both a grave misinterpretation of what I wrote *and* a completely incorrect assumption on what kitsune are. They are not any kind of demon. And I didn't want to be any kind of half demon or even half fox. It was a story told from a mother to a child, using a classic myth to convey a possible reason why their family sometimes had metamorphs. That's it. Which, if they had understand that whole BRANCH FAMILY thing, they should have definitely realized. But apparently I wasn't clear enough? Ok. Fine, maybe I was too fucking subtle. Still never asked to be half fucking anything. Asked to be a metamorph. That's it.)

5. Labeled me as a problem because of all of this. Which occurred over the course of two conversations and a handful of days. Yeah. YEAH. I'M A FUCKING PROBLEM BECAUSE I TRIED TO BE FUCKING CREATIVE IN THEIR FUCKING SANDBOX AND HAPPENED TO ACTUALLY KNOW WHAT THE FUCK I WAS TALKING ABOUT WHICH TURNED OUT TO BE SIGNIFICANTLY MORE THAN THEM.

And it's so frustrating because I was looking forward to playing with my friend on this site and I genuinely felt like they were targeting me because I didn't choose a basic bitch character and I had the nerve to ask questions when they tried to contest it. Like, it wasn't a genuine conversation where two sides explained their opinions. It was literally me trying to propose something and being treated like a child when I was repeatedly trying to explain where they were misinterpreting the things I had written because they didn't know Japanese history/mythology.

I've been a gamemaster/storyteller for games before. Over the course of my time role-playing, I've run four Larps, a handful of tabletops and hosted a couple online rps. My Discord server is technically a role play server that I moderate ( currently its mostly just chatting, not a lit of rp but it was designed to be rp lol). I know how these things work. And that just makes this more frustrating because my impulse, as a storyteller, has always been to work together with players to create engaging stories. I've always been willing to accept the potential of new ideas because the whole point of fucking role-playing is getting to exercise your imagination and tell stories together. So from my perspective, I'd be more than happy to work with them on this. I'd be more than happy to share what I know and talk about what could work or not work. But they don't seem to want to engage in that way and it makes me sad, frustrated, disappointed. Especially because I had really been looking forward to playing with my friend and now it seems that this whole thing is doomed to failure.

All because I got creative and asked questions. :/

#stupid rant #about something lame #that I shouldn't let bother me #it seems so silly but there it is #I guess I just don't understand people #I feel like this is a sign #just stick to writing my own stories #less drama #(｡•́︿•̀｡)

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fyrapartnersearch · 4 years ago

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|| 𝕮𝖔𝖒𝖊 𝖑𝖎𝖙𝖙𝖑𝖊 𝖗𝖔𝖑𝖊𝖕𝖑𝖆𝖞𝖊𝖗𝖘 ||

°°°·.°·..·°¯°·._.· ☥ ·._.·°¯°·.·° .·°°° °°°·.°·..·°¯°·._.· ☥ ·._.·°¯°·.·° .·°°° 

𝐼'𝓁𝓁 𝓉𝒶𝓀𝑒 𝓉𝒽𝑒𝑒 𝒶𝓌𝒶𝓎…

𝒾𝓃𝓉𝑜 𝒶 𝓁𝒶𝓃𝒹 𝑜𝒻 𝑒𝓃𝒸𝒽𝒶𝓃𝓉𝓂𝑒𝓃𝓉…

 haha ^^

 To all the curious ladies and gents out here, you may call me Imp.

Short, sweet and straight to the point. ;)   I am a lady in her twenties, with a strong penchant for roleplaying, writing, and drawing. The Holy Trinity if you will. I am a huge nerd and aesthetic lover boy - plain and simple. One of my main passions being video-games, illustrations, comics, live-action films, series and anime/cartoon shows, elements that shaped me during my years of growing up.

  It’s been a while since I’ve posted my first ever ad on any website, and I was very much positively surprised by the amazing people that have reached out to me.

And since I am a greedy little mf, I wanted to fish for more partners. I’ve been roleplaying for a few years now and gradually gathered a good amount of experience throughout the years, but it’s always fun to meet and learn something new.

   Name: Imp  

Age: 27 years

  Experience: 11 years  

Preferences: 1:1 Roleplaying

  Partner: Should be at least [18+], but I rather much prefer my counterpart to be 21 years or older   

EMAIL: [email protected]

I am a very creative sort of individual with hundreds of ideas constantly occupying my little impish head. And I am very spontaneous too, so I can always adjust to a new setting, depending on how good and compelling the concept is.  Inspirations come from various sources and origins, be it a fandom (an already existing universe) or an original storyline. Please read through these paragraphs carefully before you decide to contact me! It’s important to avoid any misunderstanding later! And I would less likely respond to a message with the title ‘Hey, wanna rp?’, since I hadn’t had any good experiences with these said messages. Thank you.    °°°·.°·..·°¯°·._.· ☥ ·._.·°¯°·.·° .·°°° °°°·.°·..·°¯°·._.· ☥ ·._.·°¯°·.·° .·°°°

   Communication: It’s certainly chill. You can talk to me about whatever occupies your mind since I am very open and always happy to listen to others. I also tend to be chatty, sharing a meme or a joke every now and to loosen up the mood. If you consider choosing me as your roleplaying partner, be sure to maintain a certain consistency. I have nothing against going on a longer break or even a hiatus, but the whole `ghosting stick´ is something I have no patience for. So if you’re unsure of upholding a stable, long term partnership, feel free to skim past this ad.    Plotting: Also very important to note! I am fairly quick when it comes to building new characters, concepts, premises, storylines, backstories, etc… This means there is certain flexibility available which allows me to adjust. Even though it is a hobby, I am still extremely passionate about good storytelling and interesting character arcs. I hope to meet someone who is just as enthusiastic and willing to put in the same amount of effort as I am. If it’s only me who’s pulling all the weight, I will lose interest fast, just to get it out there. Aside from that, I love going a little crazy with the possibilities and push things to their absolute limits. Of course within the boundaries of the given setting.   Pairing & Romance: Okay, right off the bat, I am a hopeless romantic through and through. I enjoy good and strong chemistry between characters just as much as the next, and this will be no exception. I prefer the good ol’ MxF pairing because I have more experience with this. But I also like playing a FxF dynamic or MxM. Everyone is welcome! When it comes to pairing itself, I want to make sure our creations are compatible, for I hate forcing characters into a romantic relationship for the sake of progression. A natural flow is what I am aiming for. ;)   Mature? Yes, very much so: Adult and taboo topics are absolute. There’s no way around it because, in my stories, it is a running theme. The adult world is not easy to handle, but it’s definitely interesting to explore. That includes violence, cursing, shocking content, and all that dark stuff. My limits are few, safe for a couple of minor pet peeves that I have, I am pretty much open to some experimentation. When it comes to action-heavy scenes (be it an intimate situation between two characters or something on a cataclysmic scale), I won’t fade to black since I am not a huge fan of censoring. However, I will not force or push my partner into something they are not comfortable with. If you want to know the extent to how far I am willing to go, what sort of content or how detailed my writing will be, you can ask me directly. As for smut or lemons, whatever you call it, it will never be the focus of any of my roleplays, but I enjoy a good erotic scene with a lot of tension (if they are good).    Boundaries: Not a big fan of things like pedophilia, necrophilia, scat, bestiality, or those dreaded ‘futas’.  Inspirations and interests: There’s a pretty broad spectrum of what I deem interesting and inspirational. From fallen angels and demon/monster hunters, mages, criminal masterminds, cybernetically enhanced characters to futuristic dystopian settings, ancient kingdoms who have fallen against the test of time. All of it causes my heart to skip a beat. For original content, I’ll just give a brief list of bullet points of the general themes that fall in line with my current interests.   Writing: My texts are lengthy, detailed, and elaborate. Third-person is usually my preferred way of playing my character unless there’s a special case where an exception can be made. Word count usually fluctuates, though I have a standard form of 400-500+ words per response. It also highly depends on the given situation. I don’t want to set anything in stone… just to give you a basic idea of what you’re in for. I also expect my partner to have an at least adequate, if not decent grasp on basic grammar and punctuation.    Doubling: Yes, absolutely! If you are prone to doubling, chances are I might accept you as my partner straight away! Although I have nothing against the simple form of roleplaying, doubling is something I’ve done since my first time joining.    Characters: Very character-driven with the main focus being on interaction. I take my time writing characters and love nothing more than well-structured sheets that illustrate the vision of their creator. (But!) There’s no need to write 10-20 pages worth of character information, but I wouldn’t want to limit you either. As for the depiction of the given character, I won’t be as presumptuous as to tell you what sort of medium you can and cannot use. Face claims such as photos of real models, illustrations, 3D models, drawings or descriptions are all okay. As long as it gets its point across, I am happy.   Aversions: A few minor things that irritate me, or let’s say, aren’t really my style are one-liners, low effort responses and out of character behaviors in canon characters. We all have different takes on characters, which is totally fine by me since I basically do the same. Though if the character acts and behaves unlike their personality dictates, it will break the immersion. I hope to stay true to my own words when saying this. If it happens on my side, just let me know! Another pet peeve of mine is that one plot that has been done time and time again…. and I’ve grown quite jaded towards it, which is ‘supernaturals trying to fit into human society’ thing… I mean, I’m not opposed to borrowing from this idea, but for me, it grew old pretty fast. Speaking from experience.   Passione: My wish is to find a partner whom I can have a good time with and develop some chemistry. After all it is a fun hobby. We both should have fun with what we’re writing. Brainstorming among other things is one of my favorite things to do. To see how things unfold and how the characters react to the given situation is the highlight of any story.

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FANDOM:

  I love roleplaying fandoms just as much as I have a blast with building something original universes. Worldbuilding is my preferred cup of tea… but if we opt for something more fandom inspired, I highly welcome in on expanding on the given universe and add some original lore too!

Hellsing: Haven’t done that one before and I am curious as to how things play out, especially in such a dark and mystifying universe like Hellsing. There’s a lot of subject matter that we can delve into, plus I am a big fan of powerful vampire characters!

Jojo’s Bizarre Adventure: I would love you for this. No, seriously, I would. This fandom has sucked me into a downward spiral and there’s no possible chance of escaping this inescapable void. The absolute insanity of this franchise had me hooked from the second I laid eyes on it and I would be forever ecstatic if you’d message me on behalf of roleplaying Jojo. I have plenty of ideas for this one, just you wait.

Full Metal Alchemist: One of my favorite mangas and animes ever made. Recently I’ve begun rewatching FMA Brotherhood and felt a small hint of nostalgia swelling inside my blackened heart. I’d be open to play it, though it is not one of my top cravings at the moment.

Justice League / Young Justice / Justice League Dark: Huge DC fan, though I much prefer the animations and comics over the live-action cinematic. Let’s just say, I like the expansive and dynamic set of possibilities and deep, well-written cast. For instance Hellblazer Constantine or Raven.

Bayonetta: Need I say more? Let’s dance boys!

APH Hetalia: That includes the 2P version ;)

The Boys: Well.. the 2nd season came out. And I am simply stoked.

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ORIGINAL:   

Supernatural: From angels to demons, from gods to monsters, I’ve seen it all and I absolutely love it. There can be any sort of creature or being involved, ranging from vampires to sirens to elves, you have it. However, I’ve never done something quite relating to angelic beings and their offspring before. I’ve read up on Nephilim and angels and found it rather fascinating, and it’s a different approach from the usual vampire vs werewolf cliche.  

Crime and intrigue: I never stray too far from the supernatural path, but hell, there’s nothing better than some good old gritty mafia inspired stories with a complex cast of characters and a solid storyline.

Sci-fi and urban fantasy: So this could be basically anything from genetically engineered superhuman (superheroes / - villains) with a dark take on the human psyche, dismantling the idea of heroism and villainy. Or a world where mankind began their interstellar journey to colonize neighboring planets, galaxies before transcending their own humanity by merging themselves with deadly technology. I have a few plans for this…

Historical and mysterious setting: So one of my favorite eras is the Victorian time period, 30s - 40s - 80s, Renaissance or Ancient times during the rise of the Egyptian / Roman / Sumerian Empire. During these times, a dark discovery was made by man, learning that they were not alone in this world. In fact, they weren’t even the supreme race that destined themselves to dominate the world, for another race of humanoids have lied dormant deep beneath the earth, slumbering through the millennia only to be re-awakened by a cataclysmic event. These ancient humanoids are gods among men, superior in every way imaginable, and they have made it their mission to reclaim their right to rule. But their nature is not what most people think it is…

The idea: I have an idea for a plot, in which I can give you if you ask for it. It is however merely a suggestion for what we could write - not a mandatory thing. If you don’t like the idea, we can always figure stuff out and keep on home-brewing till we find something we both can enjoy. There’s no need to immediately end things if the first thing doesn’t really fire you up.

  °°°·.°·..·°¯°·._.· ☥ ·._.·°¯°·.·° .·°°° °°°·.°·..·°¯°·._.· ☥ ·._.·°¯°·.·° .·°°°    If you’re still here and haven’t fallen asleep reading through my loooong paragraphs, then I would like to thank you for bearing with me this far. I am looking forward to your messages.   Have a wonderful day!

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diepower · 4 years ago

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THE MEGA RP PLOTTING SHEET / MEME.

First and foremost, recall that no one is perfect, we all had witnessed some plotting once which did not went too well, be it because of us or our partner. So here have this, which may help for future plotting. It’s a lot! Yes, but perhaps give your partners some insight? Anyway BOLD what fully applies, italicize if only somewhat.

MUN NAME: Kaiman AGE: 27 CONTACT: IM, ask, discord

CHARACTER(S): Meninas McAllon, Orihime Inoue, Retsu Unohana, Mashiro Kuna, Tier Harribel, Charlotte Chuuhlhourne

CURRENT FANDOM(S): That I write in? It’s gonna be Bleach, OVW (super selectively im just here for one person), ASOIAF (barely- literally when the mood strikes and that one is private also). I have a lot of current interests in general though.

BLEACH FANDOM(S) YOU HAVE AN AU FOR: While I don’t have anything fully established... I’ve been working with an ASOIAF au (for Harribel & Unohana specifically, though I’m considering it with other characters too), A Dorohedoro AU (for Unohana and Orihime), as well as a Persona AU (more specifically 2&3) for Orihime. I’ve also got a number of post-canon AUs or continuities for all my characters as well!

MY LANGUAGE(S): English, super basic Spanish, barest ASL, fairly good French

THEMES I’M INTERESTED IN FOR RP: FANTASY / SCIENCE FICTION / HORROR / WESTERN / ROMANCE / THRILLER / MYSTERY / DYSTOPIA / ADVENTURE / MODERN / EROTIC / CRIME / MYTHOLOGY / CLASSIC / HISTORY / RENAISSANCE / MEDIEVAL / ANCIENT / WAR / FAMILY / POLITICS / RELIGION / SCHOOL / ADULTHOOD / CHILDHOOD / APOCALYPTIC / GODS / SPORT / MUSIC / SCIENCE / FIGHTS / ANGST / SMUT / DRAMA

PREFERRED THREAD LENGTH: ONE-LINER / 1 PARA / 2 PARA / 3+ / NOVELLA (2para is a sweet spot but it really doesn’t matter to me)

ASKS CAN BE SEND BY: MUTUALS / NON-MUTUALS / PERSONALS / ANONS.

CAN ASKS BE CONTINUED?: YES / NO ONLY BY MUTUALS?: YES / NO

PREFERRED THREAD TYPE: CRACK / CASUAL NOTHING TOO DEEP / SERIOUS / DEEP AS HECK.

IS REALISM / RESEARCH IMPORTANT FOR YOU IN CERTAIN THEMES?: YES / NO.

ARE YOU ATM OPEN FOR NEW PLOTS?: YES / NO / DEPENDS.

DO YOU HANDLE YOUR DRAFT / ASK - COUNT WELL?: YES / NO / SOMEWHAT. (i let them build up too often but some of yall are too quick to reply jkglfjdgsd)

HOW LONG DO YOU USUALLY TAKE TO REPLY?: 24H / 1 WEEK / 2 WEEKS / 3+ / MONTHS / YEARS / DEPENDS ON MOOD AND INSPIRATION, AND IF I’M BUSY

I’M OKAY WITH INTERACTING: ORIGINAL CHARACTERS / A RELATIVE OF MY CHARACTER (AN OC) / DUPLICATES / MY FANDOM / CROSSOVERS / MULTI-MUSES / SELF-INSERTS / PEOPLE WITH NO AU VERSE FOR MY FANDOM / CANON-DIVERGENT PORTRAYALS / AU-VERSIONS (italicized are okay, but under really specific circumstances)

DO YOU POST MORE IC OR OOC?: IC / OOC.

ARE YOU SELECTIVE WITH FOLLOWING OTHERS?: YES / NO / DEPENDS

BEST WAYS TO APPROACH YOU FOR RP/PLOTTING: I’m pretty anal about plotting in that I often refuse to RP unless it’s been plotted or I liked a starter call. And in the case of the latter, I’ll still hop into DMs to plot further depending on where the thread takes us. That said, the best way to reach me is through IMs or Discord (available on request). The only time I turn down plots is if I feel like it would put my character in an OOC situation, and I especially dislike my character being one-sidedly used as a tool to further another character’s development without anything being reciprocated (this happens often especially wrt my healer characters)

WHAT EXPECTATIONS DO YOU HOLD TOWARDS YOUR PLOTTING PARTNER: Communication is really important to me, especially with regards to comfort regarding certain plot elements, and approaching other in-character situations that might have multiple different solutions. I think it’s important that both characters involved get the same amount of development out of writing a thread, and I really hate the idea of being imbalanced as far as that goes (more on that below). That said, I’m always perfectly down to spitball plot ideas and tweak/refine other concepts because I really do enjoy plotting, it’s just super important to me that things are communicated clearly. I get extremely distressed and frustrated IRL if people just kinda throw stuff at me, and it often kills my muse.

WHEN YOU NOTICE THE PLOTTING IS RATHER ONE-SIDED, WHAT DO YOU DO?: I make an active effort to come up with plots that are engaging and beneficial fairly equally to both parties. I mentioned this above, but especially in the case of writing my healer characters, I have a huge disdain for characters being used as tools to further development while getting nothing substantial in return. That said, I try to be very aware of this in terms of a potential writing partner being on the receiving end. IMO it feels like shit, but I definitely don’t want to make someone else feel that way either. That said, so long as stuff is plotted out clearly and me and the writer are both okay with it, then it’s fine. COMMUNICATION IS KEY, BASICALLY.

HOW DO YOU USUALLY PLOT WITH OTHERS, DO YOU GIVE INPUT OR LEAVE MOST WORK TOWARDS YOUR PARTNER?: I kinda just like to throw spaghetti at the wall and whatever sticks, I’m down to fly with. I have a lot of ideas, but again, I like to give my partners the option of doing whatever they’re comfortable with, and h aving equal contribution opportunities.

WHEN A PARTNER DROPS THE THREAD, DO YOU WISH TO KNOW?: YES / NO / DEPENDS.

- AND WHY?: Everyone has their own circumstances, I really don’t mind. If it’s one I’ve been especially looking forward to, I might be bummed, but it’s no skin off my nose really.

WHAT COULD POSSIBLY LEAD YOU TO DROP A THREAD?: I don’t typically drop threads or abandon them during their writing. The only thing that would make me do so is offensive content, or huge plot elements being introduced that makes my character ooc and wasn’t previously discussed during plotting.

WILL YOU TELL YOUR PARTNER?: YES / NO / DEPENDS.

IS COMMUNICATION IN THE RPC IMPORTANT TO YOU? YES / NO.

-AND WHY?: I already feel like I need to take a lot of extra steps to understand others and be understood, and that isn’t something often reciprocated. In my experience, just honest communication is the quickest solution to issues that crop up during writing. For those who HAVE actually had me reach out to them in this way, I really do try to be polite and respectful while being straightforward so the situation can be resolved without any hurt feelings.

ARE YOU OKAY WITH ABSOLUTE HONESTY, EVEN IF IT MAY MEANS HEARING SOMETHING NEGATIVE ABOUT YOU AND/OR PORTRAYAL?: As long as it’s constructive, and not merely negativity, I welcome it. After all, I can’t fix a huge flaw in my writing without having an alternative solution. I’m open to accepting feedback and critique, especially wrt Meninas since my portrayal is quite a large departure from popular fanon perception (from those who choose to pay attention to her, lol), but I also thrive on suggested remedies and solutions to issues in my writing.

DO YOU THINK YOU CAN HANDLE SUCH SITUATION IN A MATURE WAY? YES / NO.

WHY DO YOU RP AGAIN, IS THERE A GOAL?: I like to tell stories, and I like to tell narratives that take root in emotional expression and how those feelings can act as a vehicle to the storytelling. I want to move people through feeling, because it can be a powerful experience. I use a lot of inspiration from themes in my other favorite series, as well as inspiration from my own personal experiences as well. I tend to pick characters who have one or two traits in common with myself, whether those be negative or positive. I’m very excited to share all the things I have planned for Meninas, as she’s certainly my most ambitious project to date.

WISHLIST, BE IT PLOTS OR SCENARIOS: For Meninas specifically, I want to interact with Squad 11 and Squad 9 during the CFYOW verse I have planned. Hisagi specifically would be interesting because of the clash of ideals, in addition to being the only other living person to be able to relate to the horror of being under Pepe’s thrall. I’d also like to steal Ikkaku’s bankai, and have more fight scenes. Lastly, Meninas doesn’t do much of anything in CFYOW, so more interactions with Mayuri and Squad 12 would be cool.

THEMES I WON’T EVER RP / EXPLORE: I don’t mind briefly referencing darker themes in my writing, especially wrt my own personal experiences, but I want to be very clear that I refuse to write at length or romanticize these themes. I refuse to write anything involving rape, homophobia, transphobia, racism, pedophilia, etc, with this in mind.

WHAT TYPE OF STARTERS DO YOU PREFER / DISLIKE, CAN’T WORK WITH?: Unless previously discussed, I struggle with starters that have a character pushing mine away. If the situation is super OOC for my character to be in, or frankly too mundane. In Meninas’ case, most domestic stuff is a snoozefest for me (but I LOVE this for other characters).

WHAT TYPE OF CHARACTERS CATCH YOUR INTEREST THE MOST?: *saoirse ronan voice* Women. UHHH but no, for real... I like fleshing out female characters quite a bit. Personality types are varied, but I like characters who have some level of nuance to their emotional expression whether it’s an internal or external struggle. I like powerful women too, and the exploration of “strength” as a theme (esp at the intersection of the theme of “femininity” and its expressions) whether this is external strength or internal fortitude. I think I play a wide variety of characters who have vastly different thoughts, beliefs, and forms of expression, but I try to find something in common with who I portray to act as a touch stone. I also like characters who have themes of “justice” and nuanced morality.

WHAT TYPE OF CHARACTERS CATCH YOUR INTEREST THE LEAST?: 99% of male characters. And I also hate tsunderes gjklsdjfd

WHAT ARE YOUR STRONG ASPECTS AS RP PARTNER?: I really like my writing style especially wrt using emotion to set a cinematic scene and overall tone. I think I’m really strong with conveying emotion, especially with things that are often unspoken. I try to communicate with partners clearly and establish rapports. I love writing headcanons and have a TON of plot ideas as well.

WHAT ARE YOUR WEAK ASPECTS AS RP PARTNER?: Oh I’m the slowest replier on the planet and I’m apparently intimidating lol

DO YOU RP SMUT?: YES / NO / DEPENDS.

DO YOU PREFER TO GO INTO DETAIL?: YES / NO / DEPENDS (i prefer to go into detail about sensations, rather than the actual acts as it comes off stifled and weirdly technical)

ARE YOU OKAY WITH BLACK CURTAIN?: YES / NO

- WHEN DO YOU RP SMUT? MORE OUT OF FUN OR CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT?: Honestly I just do what Meninas tells me.

- ANYTHING YOU WOULD NOT WANT TO RP THERE?: Kink stuff is weird territory for me, absolutely gotta be discussed in private and comfort levels clearly established.

ARE SHIPS IMPORTANT TO YOU?: YES / NO. Relationships in general rule, and while I do have a romantic ship that plays a large part in Meninas’ plot, the romance comes secondary to the plot itself. I really enjoy writing and developing romances, but more than that I like establishing connections. I love the relationships I’ve got planned with Giselle, Candice, Liltotto, and Bambietta because there are going to be a LOT of drastically different things that inform my portrayal of Meninas coming from these relationships (both positive and negative, but ultimately places of growth).

WOULD YOU SAY YOUR BLOG IS SHIP-FOCUSED?: YES / NO. Like I said, plot comes first. And especially in the case of Meninas, she has a lot of self exploration and reflection to do before she can engage in a healthy relationship or address any feelings of romance. I do place a large focus on the formation of her relationships and how they shape the way she relates to other people and grows as a person, but I am extremely sensitive to making sure I’m not writing a female character who’s entire development is dependent on a romance with a male character- perish the thought lol.

DO YOU USE READ MORE?: YES / NO / SOMETIMES WHEN I WRITE LONG STUFF.

ARE YOU: MULTI-SHIP / SINGLE-SHIP / DUAL-SHIP — MULTIVERSE / Singleverse.

WHAT DO YOU LOVE TO EXPLORE THE MOST IN YOUR SHIPS?: For Meninas, it’s a matter of her acknowledging, understanding, and accepting that she can be worth more than how useful she is to others. She had a series of traumatizing and character defining experiences regarding love, romance, and personal worth that strongly shaped the way she perceives her relationships to others and her emotional expression. Trust is another huge factor for me, Meninas needs to be around someone she believes in. Strength is another aspect. She likes someone who challenges her, keeps her on her toes, and is sturdy like physically. Because she’ll break you. THAT SAID- Meninas tends to be open wrt her body, but closed off when it comes to her heart. Hate to see it, love to write it.

ARE YOU OKAY WITH PRE-ESTABLISHED RELATIONSHIPS?: YES / NO. As long as the premise makes sense. I like relationships to have some matter of significance and planning, especially because of how I’ve written the way Meninas picks and chooses who to get close to in Silbern depending on what suits her interests. Genuine friendship is a weird thing for Meninas, as most of her relationships are formed out of convenience. If you aren’t useful to Meninas’ schemeing, then she has no interest in dealing with you beyond platitudes and keeping up appearances and will interact with you as such.

► SECTION ABOUT YOUR MUSE.

- WHAT COULD POSSIBLY MAKE YOUR MUSE INTERESTING TOWARDS OTHERS, WHY SHOULD THEY RP WITH THIS PARTICULAR CHARACTER OF YOURS NOW, WHAT POSSIBLE PLOTS DO THEY OFFER?: WE LOVE DUPLICITOUS WOMEN! No, but at the core of my Meninas characterization, the sentiment is “Everything is not as it appears” even down to the relationships she has with others. Meninas’ entire personality is constructed as a survival tactic from an early age (in addition to being a way to make herself more useful as a tool to others, and thus seen as having more worth in general), and as a result, she hasn’t really allowed herself to live life as a fully realized person. Her plots generally offer silent rebellion, playing a role in regards to her self presentation, chaotic mean girl level bullshit, and cool fights/training. Also you get to interact with a big buff lady. That said about her personality, it depends on the verse. CFYOW Meninas will be more unhinged, while post-CFYOW Meninas will be more honest and rowdy.

- WITH WHAT TYPE OF MUSES DO YOU USUALLY STRUGGLE TO RP WITH?: Muses who are standoffish or disengage right at the start. Meninas doesn’t interact with people without a certain purpose, so if they aren’t interested, she’s not going to be either.

- WHAT DO THEY DESIRE, IS THEIR GOAL?: Revenge, strength, redefining what “power” means in terms of how the world works. She wants to see the Shinigami dead for their role in her parents deaths, and feels the same about Yhwach.

- WHAT CATCHES THEIR INTEREST FIRST WHEN MEETING SOMEONE NEW?: Ability, potential threat, perceived strength, where loyalty lies; how potentially useful you can be to her.

- WHAT DO THEY VALUE IN A PERSON?: Strength both in a physical sense, but also in belief and convictions. Honesty, and understanding the flaws of the world they live in.

- WHAT THEMES DO THEY LIKE TALKING ABOUT?: Fighting, beauty, freedom, abolishing Quincy classism based on blood purity, music, fashion, blacksmithing.

- WHICH THEMES BORE THEM?: Blind loyalty to Yhwach, talking about the horrors of war as if it doesn’t concern them, Bambietta, Quincy supremacy,

- DID THEY EVER WENT THROUGH SOMETHING TRAUMATIC?: Her parents were killed in the first Quincy war and she was left abandoned and grew up literally fighting for her life and living on the streets. She often likens fighting pits to the bowels of Hell (and I often play with the ironic theme of crawling out of hell to appear as an angel or something divine). She is consumed by a quest for revenge, and strongly believes her ends will justify the means taken to fulfill her ideal. As a direct result of these experiences, her emotional health and maturity is severely affected, and she doesn’t view herself as a person worthy or capable of feeling as much as a tool who, in the right hands, can be utilized to bring about the revenge she craves.

- WHAT COULD LEAD TO AN INSTANT KILL?: (1) Men who feel non-consensually entitled to her body. That said, she’s done a fairly excellent job at maintaining control and an unassuming threatening nature despite the widely known understanding of her Schrift ability and how it augments. (2) Someone touching her Quincy cross, as it’s her most precious and private item. (3) Anyone who dares get in the way of her plans that can’t be manipulated in some other useful aspect.

- IS THERE SOMEONE /-THING THEY HATE?: Meninas hates Yhwach, and the Shinigami most predominately, but she also harbors disgust for Hollows as an instinct. That said, her young life was spent detached from Quincy culture (in addition to being a Gemischt and the inherent isolation that comes with that status), so despite her early induction into the Wandenreich ranks, Meninas does not harbor the same Quincy nationalism and loyalty that others of her race do. They’re a means to an end, and just happen to help her become stronger.

IS YOUR MUSE EASY TO APPROACH?: YES / NO. - Best ways to approach them?: She comes off as easy to approach, but if you want genuine Meninas I’m sorry the number you’re trying to reach has been disconnected. Goodbye!

SOMETHING YOU MAY STILL WANT TO POINT OUT ABOUT YOUR MUSE?: Everything I’ve written about her is based in headcanon! I’ve got both a lengthy biography as well as headcanons gathered in the sidebar links on my blog.

CONGRATS!!! You managed it, now tag your mutuals! ♥

TAGGED BY: @bazzardburner TAGGING: i think this has made its rounds so steal it!

#MEME / ANSWERED #HANDS OF THE DIVINE ; A SELF MADE CREATION / HEADCANON #ok take 2 dont delete all my bolded shit pls

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rookieskrp · 5 years ago

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🎉HAPPY 6TH BIRTHDAY, ROOKIES 🎉

On December 9th, 2013, Rookies as we know it was created. We’re so happy to be able to celebrate six years of Rookies with you all!

First of all, we want to express our greatest thanks to the members, past and present, for making Rookies what it is. We’re also grateful for the previous staff members for giving us such a great foundation to build upon, and for inspiring and encouraging us in our journey to become the mods you know us as today. None of this would’ve been possible without any of you!

None of the current mods are the mods that started Rookies. Once upon a time, we were all members just like you, and we grew into our current positions. We’ve seen so much growth like that in the past six years, and we’re so happy to be here for it.

As each anniversary goes on, it’s so easy to take them for granted. In actuality, making it to six years is a spectacular feat, and one we’re incredibly proud of, though we can’t take too much credit. The credit largely goes to all of you, the members, for loving Rookies and your muses. Thank you so much for joining us in RK’s journey, no matter how short or long your stay.

Thankfully, that journey isn’t over! We have many things planned for 2020, and we hope you’re as excited for them as we are. In the meantime, this day, and this week, is one for celebration. As per tradition, all of the mods have some thoughts on this day under the cut. Thank you for everything Rookies, always.

(P.S: If you didn’t see on the activity check, you can collect six points this week instead of three.)

🎉BIANCA 🎉

every year is like this, but i can never believe that a whole other one has passed! i had to go check because my baby brain managed to forget, but i became a mod all the way back in 2017 before i even completed a year as a member, and i was only 17. each year i grow a bit more, both in rookies and outside. from that high schooler who joined an rp without much thought, now i’m 20 and three years deep in college. from doing my first big event in 2018, this year i started taking care of all events with the departure of both mira and sera. i’m ever so thankful for the new mod additions we got and who helped me and the rest of the staff to get some weight out of our shoulders. thank you to all the members who were part of our year and those who took part in our events! look forward to what we have in store for next year! i’m looking forward to what you’re all going to do with your muses as well! happy sixth anniversary and to many more from here!

🎉CARLY 🎉

i don’t even know where to begin. it feels like the past year has gone by so quickly, and like our fifth anniversary was lifetimes ago at the same time. what needs to come first is my upmost gratitude for giving us six years of rk, definitely. i always tell the story: when i first joined rk on december 22nd, 2013, i was really overwhelmed and thought i was going to leave within my first two weeks. i never in a million years imagined i would end up becoming mod carly in november 2015, and then that i would go on to be the longest standing staff member in rk’s history (alongside kyle.)

thank you for giving me that. yes, i’ve put a lot into rk, but that’s only because you all did first. i couldn’t have gotten through any year of modding, let alone running rk, without your love and enthusiasm for the roleplay, and support of me, not just as a mod, but as as a person. rk has been so huge in my life. y’all make me a better mod, and more importantly, a better person, every day. i will always be thankful to you and the things i’ve learned from you and i will never forget it or the time we’ve spent together in these six years.

i fear that all of this has a looming feeling of finality, and honestly, it does. there will be more in a coming announcement, but as you know, i recently took some time away to think and i’m coming back to my role as a mod knowing i’ll be leaving the team sometime in 2020. that means this will be the last one of these anniversary messages i get to type up for one of these posts. there’s so much i could say, but i think i’ll save a lot of it for an announcement at a later date, because i hope to make some more good memories in the coming year before my time as rk’s head of relations ends for good. more importantly, this is a time for MUCH celebration!! it’s only right that my message here does just that!!

i know this year in rk’s history was a difficult one (for all of us, i’m sure, but certainly for me) but thank you all so much. thank you for loving rk as much as you have, and for continuing to through all of the ups and downs. thank you for your amazing characters, and choosing rk as their home. thank you for all of your dedication and creativity and heart. thank you for the members that have taken their leave, too, for leaving their mark on rookies and being part of our six years. thank you for letting me be a part of all of this, and for trusting me with your problems and heartaches over the years. thank you for letting me help you, and letting me learn from my mistakes when i fail to do that.

running rk has been the greatest honor of my life, and will continue to be until i don’t run it anymore, and move on to things that will have to fight to mean more to me than this has. until then, i look forward to the coming year, and the inevitable next anniversaries that i get to spend as a member along with all of the rest of you. i love you with all of my heart, rookies. thank you, thank you, thank you ♡

🎉GAB 🎉

hello lovelies, it’s gab here! compared to some of you, i’ve only been here for a short period of time (two years is still a lot when i think about it) and your enthusiasm, commitment and love for your muses has always been something that amazed me. it’s contagious and it was one of the reasons why i applied to be a mod and what makes me excited to plan events out and face the challenges now as a mod. each and every one of you is super important for making rookies what it is and, if it wasn’t for you, maybe i wouldn’t have had the chance to find a place for muses i love dearly, met amazing people and gotten the opportunity to join this team. as a member and mod, thank you for being part of this journey with me and i hope to continue creating fun events and more development for your babies next year! please look forward to 2020 for more adventures and good memories! i love you all ♥

🎉KEITH 🎉

happy sixth anniversary, rookies! ♡ it’s been a whirlwind of a year so far, and i think it goes without saying that we’re so thankful to have you here with us. your endless support for our community and the way that you champion for us through your enthusiasm and eagerness to be here is something that will constantly motivate me to do better. i know that i’m lacking in so many ways but i hope to always do my best in every task that i’m given so that i can properly give back to you. i know that we have a lot of exciting things waiting to take flight within the next year and i’m looking forward to seeing how it would all unfold for us! i’ll always be humbled that you chose to be here and grateful that i’ve met the most amazing of peoples through this roleplay. i love you, rookies and happy merry sixth from me to everyone 🎉💖🎊

🎉KYLE 🎉

Hello Rookies! I just want to say thank you for being here with us no matter if you've been here a week or for all six years we've been around! I know a lot, probably the majority, of you probably don't know me aside from my welcome messages when you first bring in your wonderful muses, as I do have a tendency to stick to myself. Even so, I want to let you know that I'm always happy to see you all enjoying yourselves and love seeing all the love you have for your characters and I hope that RK can be a place that everyone can continue on for years to come. So, happy sixth anniversary and thank you for everything.

🎉LARI 🎉

tbh this feels kind of weird?? to be in this post and write this message for all of you to read as a part of the team… it hasn’t been that long since i joined the mod team alongside gab and i have to admit that sometimes it still feels surreal to me. that all of this really happened, that i applied and actually made it and got picked for the team — i think in about two days it’s been exactly six months since i joined the team. since i got added to the mod server, got introduced to my tasks as bandaid mod but i still remember waking up to carly’s messages informing me that i got picked like it just happened.

last year i was sitting in front of my laptop reading the mods anniversary messages and now i’m writing one of those myself. for all of you. as a mod. i’m— 😳😳

it still makes me really happy and i’m very glad, i’m very thankful. because i like being a mod. actually, i love it. i love the team, i love updating our lists, i love helping out and being able to be there for all of you whenever you have problems or need a helping hand. i love thinking and discussing ways to make this roleplay a long-lasting and better experience for all of you. and using this chance to speak honestly with all of you i came partially from a place where, before i joined, i had sympathy and understanding for the mods but still sometimes found myself thinking that they’re not doing enough for the roleplay. that there’s not enough action, not enough effort and i doubted certain decisions but then i became part of the team and i was so lucky to get to see how passionate the team is. each and every one of them. how dedicated they are, how thoughtful. and how hard they work at all times for all of you.

that’s all they think about.

so i’m also writing this here with a small wish: be kind to them. be kind to us. they do their best— we do our best, we work hard for you and we always will. we love you.

and we’re glad you’re here.

thank you for sticking around with us it’s been a hard year, i know. what i’ve experienced in these few months i’ve been a mod has been harsh as much as it has been fun. but i hope and believe that it all can make us grow. motivate us to enjoy our time here together even more. i appreciate every moment i’ve had here in rookies — as a mod and as a member of nearly four years — and i’m looking forward to each moment to come, to every other year we get to spend together. so.. thank you so much, whether you’ve been with us for years. for months. for weeks or simply for days. thank you so much even if you’re not around anymore. thank you so much! i hope this year in rookies has good things in store for all of us, for all of you! ♥

🎉UME 🎉

hiya Babies, issa me! i can’t believe, or well -- i can believe that we’ve hit six years this year! everyone has worked so hard to make rookies the place it is today and it’s all thanks to you guys! while this year has definitely brought a lot of joy, a lot of pain, and a lot of stress ; i just want to thank, thank, thank you guys for sticking with us through thick and thin! we still have a long way to go with everything and we hope to improve in whatever way we can! it’s been a long six years and we hope to have many more. i appreciate every single one of you! and i hope to bring you more pretty graphics in the future! ( sorry the rkmain update is late, been a busy bee irl but rest assured, it should come soon ( hopefully before the new year begins! )) again, six cheers to six years and i wish for newer, brighter things for you and your muses, rookies! 💞🥰😘💞

#rkannouncement

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thiscrimsonsoul · 5 years ago

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Meta: Physical and Emotional Ramifications of Hydra’s Experimentation on the Maximoff Twins

INTRODUCTION:

Anyone who knows me as a writer knows that I enjoy writing these kinds of huge metas and really getting down to the details about my muses and their lives. Not only does this help me to come from an informed place when I write my muses, but I also genuinely enjoy over-analyzing things that probably no one should really be looking that closely at, haha.

Narrowing this down to just MCU Wanda and Pietro, I am going to look at what might have happened to them during their time in the Hydra laboratory and what the short and long term consequences of that might have been for them. MCU has a habit of saying “hey this traumatic/terrible thing happened in a character’s past, and now we’re going to completely ignore it and said character’s reaction to it forevermore,” which can get annoying when trying to flesh out my muses’ emotional and psychological health. It feels incomplete to me, and so, even if I never specifically write any threads during this time in their lives or referring to these specific things, it helps me get into my characters’ heads to have a complete picture of what they’ve been through and where they’re coming from mentally as they react to new things that arise in rp threads.

DISCLAIMER:

Lots of triggering themes ahead! Things like doctors, needles, surgery, physical and emotional abuse, behavioral conditioning, and bad things happening to minors (depending on what ages you ascribe to the twins at the time of their experimentation). Please take care when reading!

(Under the cut because LONG. XD)

LOSS OF FREEDOM / VOLUNTARY IMPRISONMENT:

We see in Captain America: The Winter Soldier that the twins are kept in cells. Observational rooms, to be more accurate. Arguably, they are not being treated very well, for reasons I will get into as I continue this meta. So the question is... why do they stay? MCU gives us the reason that they wanted to strengthen themselves and gain a means to fight back against those who were making Sokovia a war zone, but once they volunteered for Strucker’s experiments and saw what they entailed, they probably realized they were in over their heads. Not that they weren’t capable of surviving, since they were the only ones who actually did survive, but just that this would require things of them that maybe they weren’t expecting... like a lot of invasive medical procedures, punishments for not doing as their told, and worst of all, separation. So again, why do they stay?

Once could argue that they aren’t free to leave, but this isn’t true. In the beginning of Avengers: Age of Ultron, we see that the twins are permitted (at least sometimes) to move about the facility freely. Strucker’s not an idiot, and neither are probably a majority of the soldiers and scientists employed at that facility, so they had to know that with Pietro’s and Wanda’s power combined, if the twins wanted to leave, they absolutely could. And yet, they stay. I don’t have a great answer as to why this is, but I can hazard some guesses.

First, maybe they really believed their cause that they were willing to sacrifice a lot to see it through to the end. I buy that mostly, except for the separation issue and the fact that they were each probably incredibly stressed out and upset by anything happening to the other. That had got to be one of the most central themes with the twins: don’t separate us, and don’t hurt my sibling. I feel like Pietro especially would not be cool with staying in a place that treated Wanda poorly, regardless of what happened to him. So there must be something else keeping them there.

I have sometimes thought that, as time went on, maybe there was a strange sort of psychology going on here, something akin to Stockholm Syndrome, where they might have come to psychologically see their captors as allies in some way. This is especially believable if you remember that the twins thought they were in good hands, namely being taken in by SHIELD. Hydra is likely well acquainted with the signs of this syndrome, and therefore probably felt comfortable letting the twins have some freedom, knowing they would always come back. Not that they would have necessarily befriended people who kept them in cells and treated them poorly, but they might have identified with them as far as feeling like everyone in the facility was working toward the same end for the same reasons. Of course that wasn’t true, but they had no way of knowing that.

EXPERIMENTAL DESIGN AND MONITORING:

Alright, now we get really depressing. I was thinking the other day about what these experiments would have entailed, and I think most people assume that oh, we’re like touching the staff to the twins or aiming it at them and boom, magical powers. But as a scientist myself, I started to think about Hydra actually running real experiments... as in, not fly-by-night, haphazard, hey let’s try this, sorts of things... but true structured experiments with hypothesis, scientific methods, reps, sampling, data, results, and conclusions. Once you do that, things get pretty grim for the twins.

The actual experiments were never described in the movies, but just thinking about what they could have entailed is rather shocking. They could have involved transferring energy from the scepter to the twins, perhaps with wires or some other sort of delivery system. Restraining them would probably have been necessary, and I would guess that once wouldn’t have been enough. Once Hydra began seeing actual results with the twins, they most likely would have wanted to push further to see if greater enhancement could be achieved by repeating the process.

So how could they tell if their experiments were doing anything, aside from the twins developing powers? In order to standardize their experiments and ensure that real changes arose in their test subjects, Hydra would need to not only monitor them visually, but medically and genetically. This would require a lot of samples of things... Blood, certainly, but also perhaps hair or cheek cells or maybe even skin. Blood is great for certain types of genetic makeups, but swabbing the inside of someone’s cheek for cells can provide detailed genetic information about them upon analysis of those cells. And hair is like a time capsule as far as showing when certain physiological changes might have occurred. For example, certain dietary changes, heavy metal exposure, or other types of poisoning can not only be detected in hair, but how close to the follicle it is found would determine how long ago it occurred. If the twins were there for several months or a year, this type of monitoring would have been ideal for data collection.

So not only were the twins probably subjected to needles and scalpels and other things that may have been used to collect biological samples from them, but they would have been subjected to this on a regular basis. The more data points you have, the more sound your data set is, and Hydra probably would have wanted to be very sure and thorough. They also have little regard for humane treatment of those they view as test subjects, so that would not have helped the twins. Which brings me to my next topic...

ASSURANCE OF THE TWINS’ COMPLIANCE:

Even if the twins did develop some sort of psychological rationalization for remaining in the laboratory voluntarily, they likely resisted things that hurt or scared them or their sibling. It is realistic to think that Hydra would have employed physical punishments such as withholding food, use of shocks or maybe even tasers, and goodness knows what else. Maybe even the threat of these things would have been enough to get them to submit to testing and sampling.

Depending on how long the twins were at the laboratory, these punishments and behavioral control mechanisms would gradually have changed the way the twins behaved toward the scientists and soldiers who either were administering these things or were doing the testing they were ordered to comply with. Especially if they were each threatened with the other’s pain, suffering, or deprivation in order to ensure that they obeyed, which I’ll come back to later.

PHYSICAL / HEALTH EFFECTS:

If we look closely at the twins’ appearance during their time in the laboratory, there are many signs that they were being neglected or outright abused. There is also a definite indicator that they may have been drugged at times. Let’s take these ideas one at a time.

(gif cred.)

Looking first at Wanda, she seems pale and gaunt, which may be an indication of malnutrition. Her eyes are red (aside from the red glow in them) and there are dark bags under them, which might indicate that she’s not sleeping well. Her hair looks stringy, greasy, and not brushed, an indicator of poor hygiene. She’s also wearing a glorified smock, so... not much dignity or care taken there with her clothing.

(gif cred.)

Pietro isn’t much better in his loose sleeveless shirt, although he might have needed a cooler outfit due to his high metabolism. His hair also looks a bit greasy and is overgrown compared to what it looks like later in Ultron. Notice the tremors in his right hand? I’ll come back to that in the emotional/psychological section.

Now... all of these things might have just been the result of intense scientific experimentation and the fact that they were often confined to cells, the time and space afforded them just not enough for proper bathing or conducive to good sleep. Maybe Hydra monitored their sleep or woke them up for testing. Maybe they have them on a very strict or limited diet for some reason. Or... Hydra may have been attempting to control them by not letting them sleep a lot, withholding food, and otherwise depriving the twins of basic human comforts and needs. Given the nature of Hydra, I tend to go with the latter when writing their backgrounds.

The last thing I noticed was that Wanda and Pietro have matching hand wraps. Both of their right hands are wrapped up in similar ways. At first I thought this was just meant to make them look injured or otherwise poorly treated, or that it was meant to imply that something had happened to Wanda’s hand while using her powers and to Pietro’s while repeatedly running into the wall, but now I don’t think this is true. I think the bandage is securing something that’s not only on their hands, but in them.

You see the little white piece of plastic near the little blue round piece of plastic on the centers of the backs of their hands? It’s most visible in Wanda’s gif. To me, that looks like an intravenous injection port. In other words, it’s a little port inserted into their hands, into a vein, and it’s left there for convenience sake. Anytime Hydra would need to administer medication or maybe a sedative of some kind or even a test drug, they could open the port, insert a needle and inject the liquid directly into their veins with a syringe. I won’t paste the picture here in case anyone is triggered by images like this, but this is what an I.V. injection port looks like here.

This pretty much confirms that the twins were being injected with something. The most likely thing to be would be a sedative, although I doubt this would have lasted very long or worked very well on Pietro with his increased metabolism. Maybe they just upped the dosage for him and did what they needed to do quickly before he woke up. The use of sedatives may have been necessary while procuring blood or other tissue samples from them if they were frightened, panicking, angry, or just plain unwilling to comply. Also, while something was being done with one twin, they may have drugged the other so they wouldn’t have to put up with one trying to come to the other’s defense.

Of course it might not have all been completely nefarious (although it’s likely, given that it’s Hydra). Maybe they were injected with antihistamines to prevent allergic responses, anti-inflammatory agents to prevent tissue swelling, antibiotics or antivirals to prevent infection, things like that. It opens up a lot of possibilities for development as far as what the experiments might have entailed and what sorts of things were done to the twins during the course of them. It also makes the idea that Wanda was drugged at the end of Captain America: Civil War all the more traumatizing for her if she had lasting psychological effects from having this done to her by Hydra previously, which takes me to the next section...

EMOTIONAL / PSYCHOLOGICAL CONSEQUENCES:

The stress and trauma of the experiments themselves, the monitoring and sampling, the restraining and the confinement, the separation from each other, and being deprived of their basic needs has got to have had some emotional and psychological effects on the twins, both in the moment and long-term, right? Let’s take the twins one at a time and look at what their experiences might have meant for their mental health.

Wanda’s experience would have been one of both fear and frustration. She might have seen her brother treated poorly, been drugged against her will, felt pain as a result of the effects of the scepter on her or from being treated roughly by Hydra scientists and soldiers, and she would have most likely been restrained in some way to ensure the safety of those working in the lab. Maybe Hydra had some kind of high frequency device or collar or something similar to prevent her from using her powers. So... what might the effects of this type of experience be?

While at the lab, Wanda might have started out afraid and later grown rebellious and angry. Definitely, she would have developed a general distrust for people, and may even have some fear of being accosted by people or approached too quickly. Anytime someone approached her in the lab, she learned she was going to feel pain or have something frightening done to her, so through this type of conditioning she might develop fears of strangers getting too close, of needles and medical equipment, and of being grabbed. Even certain seemingly insignificant things like the sound of a syringe being flicked to void the air from it, the smell of latex gloves, or the sight of a white lab coat might make her panicky or even send her into a flashback. PTSD is a reality for Wanda, and for Pietro as well.

And just like Pietro, Wanda’s sense of solidarity and the psychology of “us against the world” with her sibling would be greatly intensified. If Hydra thought that separating them and subjecting them to all these terrible things would break their bond, they were wrong. If anything, their bond would have been strengthened even more by these experiences. Even if Hydra sought to employ behavioral modification tactics (such as hurting one twin until the other complies), I feel like this wouldn’t drive a wedge between the twins, but would only cement their dedication to one another and desire of each to protect the other.

Which brings me to the effects on Pietro. Pietro... I feel had the worse time here, and I’ll explain why. He would have had the same experiences as Wanda as far as everything else I’ve mentioned in this section so far, but then on top of that would have some problems, fears, and side effects unique to him. So let’s go into what some of Pietro’s unique issues with the experimentation might be.

Some believe that Pietro is so protective of his sister because he loves her and is the older twin and therefore feels a great responsibility to watch over her, and that is certainly true. But for those of you that draw from the comics, as I do, and incorporate that Wanda was the victim of a sexual assault as a child and therefore believe that Pietro felt a lot of guilt over not protecting her then, her treatment in the Hydra laboratory might have really hit upon Pietro’s protective instincts and brought all that guilt from their childhood back up to the surface for him. Especially if the scientists used Wanda to get Pietro to obey, such as hurting or threatening to hurt her if he didn’t do as they said, he would once again be responsible, however indirectly, for Wanda being hurt. That would have had a big and traumatic effect on him, and once they were freed from the lab, he would have been even more protective of her because of this.

That’s how his sibling’s treatment would have effected him, but how would he be dealing with things on his own? Aside from probably developing all the same fears of scientists, doctors, needles, medical equipment, etc. that his sister would, Pietro would also have felt confined, maybe even claustrophobic in that tiny observation room.

Look at the impact here with the wall. My goodness. Yes, he was learning to use his powers here, so he wouldn’t have had the kind of control he had in Ultron, but he’s also not stupid. After a couple attempts, he would have realized that launching himself inside a tiny room like that would have painful consequences. Continuing to slam himself into the walls would have resulted in all sorts of bruises, maybe even torn muscles or broken bones, and maybe things like dislocated shoulders. He heals very fast, but even so, he would feel the initial pain of these injuries, which is in itself traumatic. The reason I didn’t include this in the “physical effects” section is because I feel like there is a psychological component to him doing this as well...

Have you ever been to a zoo, especially one that isn’t handled all that well and has really small enclosures for the animals, and they’re behaving really funny? Walking in circles, making repetitive motions, walking around in the same pattern over and over again within their enclosure, sitting facing a wall or corner, or even walking into the walls? This is because they are actually suffering from psychological trauma (that could result in physical trauma depending on what they’re doing exactly) from not being free to move, run, or just exist as they wish to. Not just wish to... need to. Well, Pietro needs to move.

I headcanon that even before the experiments, he was a high-energy guy, and if you go with the comics and say the twins are mutants, then their powers are also genetic/hereditary. So Pietro is, by nature, someone who is high energy and needs to keep moving and to move fast. Being confined to a tiny room would have had an immense effect on him psychologically, and he might have developed the same strange behavioral patterns as mistreated animals at a zoo. He might have rationally known that attempting to use his speed within his cell would harm him or at least be really painful, but emotionally and physiologically he is driven to move and simply cannot resist doing this, even if it harms him.

Which brings me to the tremors in his right hand in that first gif of him. If you look closely enough, you can actually see the muscles all up his arm spasming as well. They could be an indicator of many things. It could be a sign of neurological damage. Whether the result of the experiments or from the impact of hitting his head or back against the walls of his cell, Pietro might have injured himself, resulting in nerve damage. It likely healed, given his body’s fast healing capabilities, but that’s what it could be.

However, it could also be entirely psychological, and if so, there are three potential reasons for it. First, Pietro may be so full of energy and filled to the brim with a desire to use it, that running for one second inside a cell isn’t cutting it. Kindof like if you have a lot of caffeine and get jitters, he’s literally shaking from being so high-strung and not having a sufficient or positive outlet for his energy. Second, and this is kindof sad, but it may simply be a sign of psychological stress. Like when someone shakes during an anxiety or panic attack, his nerves might be shot from all the stress he’s experiencing in the laboratory. And third, it may be another behavioral tic resulting from feeling like a caged animal in a zoo, a sign that he is not emotionally or psychologically stable that is manifesting as a physical tic.

CONCLUSION:

All of this amounts to either 1) it’s a wonder they were as normal and stable in Ultron as they were (and beyond for Wanda), or 2) they should not have been this stable but MCU didn’t want to deal with all the physical, emotional, and psychological impacts that being treated this way would have had on the twins. I tend to incorporate a lot more of the potential damage they have suffered into writing them because it lets me write what I feel are more realistic and rounded characters. I’m not cherry-picking the easy or happy bits, avoiding mentioning when things would upset them, or sugar-coating their reactions to triggering things, but instead I’m letting them express it as I feel befits their personalities. Wanda and Pietro don’t deal with things in the same way or express their emotional traumas the same way, and part of fleshing out these characters and taking them through arcs of healing and recovery is acknowledging that they are damaged people. MCU glosses over so much with them that either the twins would not have been able to ignore or would have come back to haunt them at a later date. I instead want to present them as they are, two people who have been through many different kinds of hell, and see what they can do with it, how other muses can help and guide them, and what they can become through the process of recovery. That is what is most fun and fulfilling for me as a writer, when I can realistically flesh out a character and take them to places the canon never dared or bothered to tread. =)

Alright I’ve rambled enough! I hope you have enjoyed this, and if you’ve gotten to this point I just want to say thank you for reading! Feel free to comment through replies, asks, or messages if you wish. As with all metas I write on any of my blogs, I love to get feedback and hear other people’s takes on what I’ve mentioned.

#the maximoff twins #wanda maximoff #pietro maximoff #hydra #marvel

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folkelorde · 5 years ago

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ADMIN TIPS! WHAT MAKES OR BREAKS A ROLEPLAY?

this has been sitting in my drafts a while because with about ten years of roleplay experience, i’ve been in a lot of group and seen a lot of different kinds of admins. now, i can look back and see the point where things started to die or the point where a group was really saved – whether i was the admin or someone else was.

i know being an admin can be hard work and sometimes a group can die based on circumstances that aren’t in your control, so taking the initiative to start a group can be a big risk; a lot of work for little payoff, and i think it says a lot about the passion of the writers in our community that we keep doing it.

lately, i’ve been getting really frustrated with joining groups because they die so quickly. however, there are a few things i notice keep happening that can make a huge difference on whether a group succeeds or fails, so i’ve put some encouraging words and advice under the cut. please note that these are just my opinions and things i’ve seen that work for me.

1. SET AN EXAMPLE.

as an admin, it’s hugely important to take the leap! when your group opens, be the first to post and break the ice, be the first to post an intro, and be the first to reach out and message people. you can’t just open and then sit back and let people come to you. additionally, be sure to open the group or start events at a time that works for YOU. seriously, it makes a big difference when the admin can be online for those things. also, i find that as an admin, i have to be a little more active than what’s expected because i find it really important to create plots and connections with EVERYONE, respond to every starter possible, and make sure that i welcome every person into the group. if there’s a new member, be that person that reaches out to say hello and welcome them. be that person to post the first open starter, etc. essentially, be the sort of group member that you want to be the admin for and i think that goes a long way for creating an inclusive community. this is really the NUMBER ONE thing that i see makes or breaks a group – groups that i join where the admin is plotting w/ people, reaching out, and in on what’s going on always last longer. tbh, i’ve never been in a group that lasted where i didn’t have a plot with the admin, so make sure you have plots and connections with your members!

2. COMMUNICATE WITH YOUR MEMBERS.

i think it’s important that people know what’s going on, every step of the way. if you think you’re going to open at a certain time, tell people in advance. if you wish there were more open starters in the tag, tell your members. if you don’t have time to answer all the asks you have, let people know. tell people when plot drops and events are coming up and ask people what they want to see. let group members be part of discussions and your decision process. essentially, as an admin, i never feel like i have to build this big wall and filter information about the group. when i’m a member, i love when it’s clear what’s going on in the group when. there are definitely times where you should keep that wall up though, like when you’re dealing with any ooc drama. in my experience, keeping conflict resolution off the dash as much as possible is key to dealing with problems. i notice that unless the group has been around a long time, an ooc matter that’s dealt with really publicly usually leads to the death of the group. if you have to communicate about what happened with your members, it’s usually best to find a way to do that privately.

3. DO NOT GIVE UP.

this is the BIGGEST reason that rps die. almost every rp i’ve ever admin-ed has a “drop-off rate” after opening and sometimes it can be pretty large. the first activity check, for an appless rp especially, is almost always pretty brutal. however, if you can make it over that first “hump”, the odds of your rp lasting are a lot higher because i really feel like most rps die within the first week or two. if you lose a lot of members or activity slows after the first couple of days, don’t stop. keep promoting, keep posting (both in character and out of character). i find that it really helps to have a big event or plot drop within the first week to give characters something to start off with immediately and it also gives people inspiration for starters. regardless, activity on the main is going to slow after opening, that’s just inevitable. you’re going to get less asks or apps in a day, sometimes you’ll get none, and that’s okay. if it flops, it flops, but give it a week or so before you abandon the main and you might see the turnaround that i’ve come to expect. some of the most loyal members and best connections in my groups have joined in the second or third week or month.

4. HAVE A PLAN.

when i start a group, i usually have at least the next couple of plot drops and/or events planned out in my drafts when i start. give yourself goals to work towards and know where things are going. when i open a group, i usually have the first event or plot drop already written out and drafted, ready to post on the first or second day. at the very least, it’s good to have a little brainstormed list going of things you want to do at some point. i find that it never works to run in blind and expect that the plot will just go from there – even in a plotless town or school rp, you need to have a few plot drops or big events planned. for me, it helps to think of my roleplay like a television show and my plot drops/events are “episodes.” all the characters will have their own subplots, but there should be things that bring them together as one. additionally, once things open, it can feel like a bit of a whirlwind and you’ll be really excited about the subplots for your own character, so it’s good to have the overarching stuff planned in advance.

5. KNOW YOUR IDEA.

i really think motivation matters. i think if you’re like “i really want to be in a group like this but it doesn’t exist and i have so much muse” always turns out better than “i want to be an admin, what will people want to be in?” don’t worry about what other people want from you when creating your plot. focus on what you want and what you have muse for, otherwise it’ll start to feel like a chore. being an admin is hard fucking work, alone or with a few other people. the plot has to really matter to you and be something that you desperately want to do, don’t base it around what you think people will be interested in. DON’T SECOND GUESS YOURSELF. if you think it’s cool and you want to write it, other people will too. some plots are more popular or are in popular genres, so they might get more attention and kick off faster, but if you stick to it, either way you’ll find your people.

6. ESSENTIALS

these days, groups tend to have a few regularly scheduled parts of their structure needed to keep things going. these things are: honesty/meme days, tasks, events, and plot drops.

honesty/meme days should come either once a week or once every other week depending on the activity level and size of your group. when i ran a really large group, we had them every week because there was so much going on, but with smaller groups i tend to have them when it feels right or after a plot drop/event since that’s usually when characters have a lot of new material to talk about in their answers and asks. tbh, these are really fun and help character development, so i really think they should be an essential part of your group.

tasks for character development may seem tedious, but i do really find that they not only liven up the dash, but help people keep their muse! in a roleplay, i always make these optional, since no one HAS to do them, but it’s also a nice way to give people something to do if the dash is a little slow on a particular day or whatever. depending on the amount of effort the task takes and the size of the group, i’d say you can do these weekly or bi-weekly.

events should be done at least once a month! most roleplays now operate with “dash events” which seems to work best since people are in all different timezones and have lives so it’s nice to have the event span over a couple of days. i really think the sweet spot is about 4-5 days, but if you have a group that gets really into them (which i have, generally in a big group), you can make them a week, but no longer than week or things will definitely stagnate.

plot drops matter, even if your group is “plotless.” plot drops differ for events because they don’t always put all of the characters in the same vicinity and don’t have a time frame. essentially, plot drops just give characters something to talk about or make starters about. i’ve run groups with and without plot drops and without plot drops, i generally can’t keep things going for more than twoish months, so i’ve noticed the difference and they’re really a necessity for me. groups that are more plotless and character driven generally don’t need these as often as groups with a more central plot and worldbuilding.

i also really like to open the floor for members to suggest tasks, events, and plot drops – some of my best events have come from things that members have expressed to me that they really want to do. sometimes, members will send me something they want that i already have planned in my drafts, so that’s just some extra validation for me that i’m clicking with them.

YOU CAN DO IT.

if you wanna do admin stuff, i seriously admire you. it’s exhausting, it’s hard, and it’s stressful because you care about your idea and your characters so fucking much, but it can be so worth it. being a good admin is almost like having another job with all the tasks you have to do, but when you create a plot and group that people get invested in and enjoy being part of, it’s the most rewarding thing in the world. i seriously wish you all the luck in the world with your ideas and if you need any help or advice, i’m here for you.

#rpt #rpc #rph #rpcha #rpa #guide #advice

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vulpesse-arc · 4 years ago

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GET TO KNOW THE MUN ! ✿ accepting. @umtplex has a small present for the fox: ✮ ♡ .

✮ ── Send me a ✮ for me to talk about my favorite fandom to rp in.

I would have normally chosen the Persona/SMTM fandom since I’ve been there for a very long time and I never had any kind of problem, but... This time, I think it’s indeed fair that I pick the Bloodborne/Dark Souls fandom !! Although my stay has been quite brief ( I do miss my Woof Woof Vicar every single day so you better expect me to come back soon ) , I honestly had so much fun !! Everyone was tremendously kind towards me, everyone was willing to discuss headcanons and ideas together, everyone was so excited at the idea of writing with someone new and thanks to this wonderful atmosphere, further developing my character became really easy and entertaining. Everyone around me was so inspirational... I had honestly expected my Amelia to be completely ignored and yet, in no time, I managed to write so many great threads with so many amazing people !! That blog soon became a safe space for me and in all truth, I cannot wait to have enough time to finally come back.

♡ ── Send me a ♡ for me to describe a character that I haven’t had a chance to rp but would like to.

Right now, I’d go with either Ellie from “The Last of Us” , with Jang Man-Wol from “Hotel del Luna” or Haesoo from “Scarlet Heart Ryeo” !! My list is definitely longer than this but currently, I’d love to either explore a post-apocalyptic environment where death lurks at every single angle and happiness is impossible to achieve OR a historical environment with all its difficulties, laws, sorrows... All three characters are extremely different from one another and this would give me the chance to experience different types of development, which is honestly the one thing that attracts me the most !! If I had to pick one, right now, I’d say... Jang Man-Wol !! She has such a huge burden ‘pon her shoulders, such a tremendous wound on her heart... So I believe that writing as her would undoubtedly be very very very interesting.

#.• ❤ ─ ▸ it’s ᴡᴀʙʙɪᴛ hunting season ! ╱ ❪ ﹠ ooc ❫#umtplex #thank you ! :3c #♡♡♡

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strawberryfitzsherbert · 5 years ago

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I’m giving a few explanations under the cut. No one is in any way obligated to read it! Honestly, it’s more just a place for me to get some things out so that hopefully I can leave them behind going in to 2020. That said, feel free to take a glance if you want - it might explain some mood/attitude changes, infrequent activity etc if you’re at all interested, but it’s likely gonna get kinda long. Anyways, cue me working through things by writing them down (as usual).

2018 took so much away from me. Thankfully, 2019 has been much kinder. That said, it’s still been a process of recovery, and I’m still reeling from a lot of what happened to me in 2018. I don’t remember how much of it I explicitly stated on here, but what the hell, I’m gonna throw it out there.

In the summer of 2018, within the span of two weeks, my mother (aged 49) died suddenly while I was away in South Africa on fieldwork; I was attacked in a car park by a random man in broad daylight; I had to start two brand new jobs; my left lung collapsed suddenly (apparently probably at least somewhat triggered by all the previous events).

I won’t go into real details of any of these things, but as you can imagine, it was incredibly hard. It was hard being completely alone without any family, half the world away in the African bush when I got the phonecall about my mum. It was hard recovering from my collapsed lung, knowing it meant I wouldn’t be allowed to scuba dive any more (diving with sharks has been top of my bucket list for many years - it was hard to hear).

Then I had to go back for my second year of uni. There, I fell in love for the first time and subsequently had my first real heart break. On top of everything, it was just too much. I started drinking first thing in the morning. Finally, after being forced to a therapist and having a couple of sessions, I took two months out of uni before going back again after Christmas.

But I digress. This isn’t about 2018. This is about 2019 and 2020. The only reason I mention the Bad 2018 Stuff is because this is what I’m still recovering from in 2019 and going into 2020.

ANYWAYS. After all of this, as well as some less recent stuff, I’ve come to the realisation that along with my anxiety, panic disorder and paranoia, I also have (mild) PTSD, which isn’t super fun. 2019 has been a lot about learning to cope with all this stuff alongside the ever-increasing workload at university and my part-time art business.

So I’ve been working through these things, trying to get my entire life back to some semblance of normality, and my workload has been insane. That’s why I’ve been very absent from tumblr this year.

There’s still ups and downs but I’m proud of the progress I’ve been making. I’ve maintained Firsts (the highest grade, for those of you not using the UK grading system) despite it all, grown my art business and am slowly getting there with my mental health. I’m not in love any more, for one thing, which is a pretty recent and very relieving development.

2019 gave me:

Closure

An awesome trip to my favourite town in Turkey with my whole family

Planning some fun future things

Meeting cool people

Adopting two adorable rescue rats

Learning to overcome things I never believed I could

Turning 21 (a few days ago)

A ski trip

An education school visit where I got to bring my animals in and teach kids about them and their habitats

2020 is bringing me:

Two months alone in Australia to recover and reset and just exist peacefully, which is something I’ve never been able to do. No responsibilities or obligations. Just me and nature and the other side of the world. Distance is gonna work wonders, I’m sure

A trip to Disneyland with my best pals!

Graduating university at last, hopefully with the First Class degree I am currently on track to receive. Leaving formal education behind after 17 years.

Hopefully getting my first full-time job which I will be well qualified for and have relevant experience in

The ability to let go of people and mindsets that are no longer serving me. Letting myself be happy and calm.

Continuing to work through all of this and coming out of it stronger, more self-aware and more self-assured.

In terms of tumblr, I’m so in love with the characters I currently have. I’m definitely taking a break from my multimuse at the moment, but my love for my disaster boys (Tex, Rai and Eugene) is stronger than ever. I’m currently in the midst of a huge workload, but once I’ve made a dent in that, I’m hoping to come back to RP. The break did me the world of good and I’m really starting to miss my boys, and all of you guys, too.

So thanks for sticking by me, so far! It feels good to have a lot of this stuff off my chest and I really hope you all have an amazing 2020 full of peace, happiness, excitement, healing and whatever progress you’d like to make in your life.

#❛ not so suave ❜ ¦ ｢ooc.｣#mental illness tw #violence tw #death tw #illness tw #[ if you need any more tags please do let me know ]

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lanasaved · 5 years ago

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sssslithers onto the scene like nagini.... hlo! i’m nai n i’m rly excited to finally return 2 rp. uni is officially Over n i’m living bk at home nw so i actually hav free time again to write. c’est une.... how do u say.... Miracle! some of u might b familiar w lana already bt if not u can find out mre abt her under the cut n feel free 2 like this or hmu fr plots!!!

p.s. this is her pinterest for those of u tht like tht kind of thing

CIS-FEMALE — ever hear people say LANA JAMESON looks a lot like KRISTINE FROSETH? I think SHE is about 22, so it doesn’t really work. The DANCE major is a JUNIOR that is from ALBANY, NEW YORK. They can be + VIVACIOUS, but they can also be - IRRESPONSIBLE. I think LANA might be SHEEP. They are living in BALTA. ( nai. 22. gmt. she/her. )

some random aesthetics: a red water pistol topped up with caribbean rum and covered in stickers of cartoon pin up girls, a vinyl record whirring silently because you got too distracted by a stranger’s hands to reach over and flip sides, giant inflatable flamingos floating in the aftermath of a pool party, smudgy lipstick kisses left like an autograph on someone else’s mirror

ic im sayin she jst got bk from going abroad w louis, this kind of sleazy older man tht manages the camgirls on the website lana works fr. he calls himself a “big exec” at “the company” n mkes it all sound a lot more professional than it is. he also owns this big house w all these different rooms/settings fr the girls to film different kinds of scenes in n is looked up by a lot of ppl bt when asked why they look up to him, nobody ever rly seems to have an answer. jst...a shady figure. lana kind of.... went off the deep end lst semester n ended up deferring her next one after missing her big graded ballet recital. it’s a whole big mess n she’s wearin horse blinders to it. truly jst.... goin on holiday to ignore hw much she’s fuckin things up at school. queen of burying her head in the sand!

frm this point on ive jst pasted her old intro bc im the laziest woman alive n that’s jst life Babey

grew up in a big house in albany, NY, bt also spent time all over the place n was in the city a lot

okay so her mum is an old money socialite / three time campaign model way back when n her dad is a big record label mogul. he owns a label called jameson records n they repped a few big rock bands back in the eighties, altho they’re mostly known for ‘poppy injects’ whose lead singer had a big heroin scandal tht brought down his career. lana p much grew up around musicians snorting lines instead of spooning down cereal fr breakfast n her parents were v much absent her whole life

they’re pretty well off obviously n bc of her relation to such a big music industry figure she’s hung out w a fair few relatively high rep ppl thru her teens. she amassed kind of an instagram following mainly fr her style (v penny lane-esque in some aspects aka lots of fur cuff trimmed jackets bt then also jst…. a wild combination of everything honestly. pastel faux fur coats, seventies style platforms, flame red cowboy boots, pastel coloured fishnet tights n glitter used like highlight Everywhere) n bc she’s undeniably very pretty

her parents always kind of jst… didn’t like her. it was v clear that she was an accident after her older brother caleb n that even when they just had him alone they weren’t cut out for parenthood. they always kind of jst… ignored her n hoped she’d go away. she had to mke herself microwave meals when she ws only like 12 bc they’d forget to get her anything. once she went like 6 days without her mum even looking her in the eyes once

despite this tho!!! she’s always been insanely close w her brother caleb. he’s her whole world. thts why when he decided to sign up to the army she ws understandably scared bt supported him regardless. bt then he wound up getting discharged under grounds of severe ptsd when he witnessed his best friend die in an explosion tht took place in a shock raid. caleb returned home n he was never the same n lana kind of felt like he’d died out there too. he’s in n out of hospital a lot n it’s rly hard on her bt she doesn’t tlk abt it to anyone rly

growing up lana was always a huge social butterfly. jst literally…. knew everyone n everyone definitely knew her. she ws one of those girls tht ws kind of impossible to ignore or forget. very animated, always made u feel like u were the centre of the universe whenever she spoke to u, always made it feel like u were best friends even if ud only spoken to her once. she has this magnetic way abt her tht is kind of hard to find in real life. it’s something ud only rly expect out of a movie character

she’s always been insatiably spontaneous n adventurous. always doing something weird n wild every weekend. she has ten thousand stories tht always earn a laugh or a gasp over how ridiculously absurd they r

anyway so after caleb got back he was rly withdrawn n depressed. he shut lana out n was kind of harsh to her a lot of the time, always telling her to leave him alone or pushing her away. it didnt help either tht lana had a rly traumatic experience w some of her dad’s colleagues at the label when she ws 16 n he was away n she cldnt even tell him abt it once he was bk bc of his own traumas. she kind of jst shut it all in n kept it to herself

this obviously?? made her spiral a lot. she was already a girl tht loved sex (she’d only rly done foreplay before tho) but since her trauma it got…. completely out of hand. it got to a point where she couldnt rly go 2 days without it, probably not even 1. her lowest point has probably been scrolling thru craiglist for anonymous encounters n meeting up w strangers on there fr a quick fuck jst for the thrill even tho it’s insanely dangerous n she cld wind up getting herself killed. it’s v clear at this point tht she has a sex addiction whether she’s ever admitted it or not. in fact she’s so… shameless in her endeavours tht she’s actually currently having an affair w her ballet instructor tanya who’s engaged to b married

she also currently? is working as a cam girl. she found this website bc she trawls… porn stuff a lot n she wound up applying to work as one bc she thought it’d b fun n wld earn her some disposal income (even tho she frankly doesn’t need it bc she’s already well off). the guy tht manages all of the girls on the site is kind of suspect n it’s a whole plot i’m gna unravel where it’s actually like the front for a cult or something wild so. stay posted ig. kgjdkgjh

new development!!!!!!!! cue me trottin around doin jazz hands. she’s actually been cut off by her dad so she’s….. living off the money she has left n has to look to find a job which is jst. a nightmare fr someone like lana bc she’s insatiably irresponsible n destined to be fired from anything she tries to hold down bt. it’ll be interesting bc this means she genuinely has to keep on camming even tho she’s starting not to want to any more bc of other circumstances i won’t elaborate on jst yet winks

personality/some fun facts: uncontrollably flirty. boundlessly confident. cld make a joke out a paper bag n her comedy is sometimes surreal / absurd. she tends to laugh when she feels like crying n has a smile brighter than a ray of texas sunshine. always dapples her fingers thru the breeze when she’s driving in a car w the window down. her fav book as a child used to b alice in wonderland n she’d fantasise abt having her own little wonderland too where everyone knew her name n asked her things n took her on adventures. at the time it didn’t rly strike her how evident it was tht that was bc she was so lonely. she almost always has some sort of sweet on her, whether it’s strawberry laces or gummy bears or cherry lollipops. she adores david bowie n prince n madonna n anyone tht’s a vintage style icon w little care fr what ppl think. wildflowers r her favourites bc they’re the brightest and u can’t buy them. she’s had like 8472493874 ‘relationships’ n none of them hav lasted beyond a month / hav been terrible / hav seen her being treated badly / she’s cheated on them. i dnt think she’s actually been w anyone she hasn’t cheated on in some form or another

plot ideas: exes tht lana’s fucked over hideously. she’d probably cheat a lot and it’d be a whole…mess. mayb someone tht flipped the switch and cheated on her? a cousin plot cld b fun too. a friend tht lana fel out w bc she slept w their significant other. someone tht’s getting lana into drugs?? she’s kind of impressionable/down for anything so tht’s a likely scenario she’d get into tbh. an unrequited crush!! (either way is cool). someone tht is just hanging out w her/using her bc she has a lot of instagram followers or they want to b signed to her dad’s label. someone in a band!! she’d probably make like penny lane n b their groupie/sleep w them all fgjkshgkh. umm a good influence too mayb? oh and a past summer romance/fling tht cld either have meant a lot or not have meant anything at all. bonus points if both of them hav a diff viewpoint on it. honestly?? anything is fine i cld ramble for days. let’s get wildt!

#livingintro #inhales fr ten minutes to muster the breath necessary to add al these tws #rape tw #statutory rape tw #only brief / touched on / not explored in detail bt stil!#abuse tw #ptsd tw #hospitalisation tw #hypersexuality tw #addiction tw #death tw #mental illness tw #drugs tw

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vee-angel · 6 years ago

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All for Nought (A Mass Effect Erotic Fan-fiction)

Happy Pi Day everyone! In honor of this nerdiest of all holidays, I thought it might be time to finally come clean about my geekdom and share the nerdiest of my writing. This story is by far my most developed work (the completed work will be the first of three novel-length stories). A few notes to anyone who may want to take the time to read it. First, I like fan-fiction to feel as authentic as possible; so I try to write the characters in a way that feels true to the source material. I also try to make the story feel genuine within the Mass Effect universe. As a result, this story is far more plot-heavy than my completely original works, but if you stick with it, there’s still a good amount of rough sex, weird sex, torture, humiliation, and bits of various other kinks. Second, the story so far is unfinished, and even when it is complete, it’ll essentially be a polished first-draft. As I’m learning more about writing, I’m seeing more things I want to add or change (having a main character that actually shows development through the story is something I definitely want to improve in the second draft.)

If you’re already familiar with the universe of Mass Effect, you can begin reading on Archive of Our Own here: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16803949/chapters/39441787

If you need a refresher on the lore, or if you’re just such a fan of my writing that you’re willing to jump into a fan-fiction of a sci-fi franchise with which you’re unfamiliar, feel welcome to read the following Introduction/Cheat Sheet.

All for Nought (Introduction and Cheat Sheet)

This story is the first in a trilogy of novel-length erotic fan-fictions set in the Mass Effect universe. A few things to keep in mind:

--The content of this story will end up being, at points, rather extreme. Since it would be tedious to identify and list every trigger-worthy scene, I ask that you simply assume that if there are acts of sexual violence or degradation that may trigger you, there’s a good chance you will find them in this story. (the second and third books will contain an even heavier emphasis on extreme kinks and fetishes, however) --I’ve attempted to make this story as close to canon-compliant as possible. For those not familiar with fan-fiction terminology, “canon-compliant” essentially means that the story is intended to hypothetically take place in that canonical universe. Essentially, that means that there should be nothing in the story that one could definitely use to say that this story didn’t happen in the universe. --I actually began writing this story with the third book (though I didn’t know it at the time). It came about at the request of an online rp partner. It slowly formed into a novel-length story, which in turn expanded into the final novel of a trilogy. This story is actually part of my first ever attempt at writing fiction, so keep in mind that I am very new to fiction-writing.

A brief primer on Mass Effect for those who may wish to enjoy the story without being hardcore fans (if you are a serious Mass Effect fan, the following will probably be unnecessary).

Story Background --The story takes place shortly after Mass Effect 2. During which the Alliance Marine Commander Shepard and the pirate/criminal Jack (aka Subject Zero) were recruited by the terrorist/human-supremacist organization called Cerberus (this organization also acquired Jack as a baby and, in order to maximize her biotic potential, forced her into cruel experiments through most of her youth) in order to defeat an enemy called the Collectors. There were many other members of the crew of the Normandy, but this story focuses primarily on those two. --The version of Commander Shepard in this story is female; she grew up on a human colony called Mindoir, where as a youth, she witnessed her colony being invaded by Batarian slavers (she managed to escape capture herself). She’s an expert in weapons and combat, but has no biotic aptitude and minimal engineering skill. --During the events of the second game, Commander Shepard (at least the version depicted in this story) recruited an asari Justicar (essentially an order of warrior nuns sworn to uphold justice) named Samara who asked for Shepard’s help in finding and executing her daughter. She explained that her daughter, Morinth, was an “Ardat-Yakshi,” meaning she had a genetic condition that only occurs in pureblood asari. An Ardat-Yakshi is essentially an alien succubus or vampire. While all asari have the ability to meld minds, for an Ardat-Yakshi, melding is always fatal. Furthermore, Ardat-Yakshi have the ability to strongly influence the minds of those around them, even at a distance (in fact, they sometimes induced entire communities to worship them as gods). When Shepard finally did help Justicar Samara track down her daughter (the Ardat-Yakshi Morinth), there was a stand-off where the two asari were evenly matched. Commander Shepard, believing that Morinth was more useful to her mission, chose to side with Morinth and kill Justicar Samara. Morinth then posed as her mother during the remainder of their mission against the Collectors

Universe background --Biotics- Essentially a form of technological telekinesis. Someone with biotic powers can move or damage objects with their mind. This normally takes the form of cascading waves of blue light. Biotic abilities are related to exposure to a substance called Element Zero (called Eezo, for short). Biotic abilities are rare among humans and other species, and usually result from exposure to Element Zero. The Asari, however are the one exception, being 100% biotic on account of the fact that the asari homeworld, Thessia, is rich in Element Zero; --Asari melding- Similar to the Vulcan mind-meld of Star Trek fame, melding is an act wherein an asari telepathically joins their mind with that of another person. This can be merely to share information, or as an act of intimacy (especially as the asari reproduce by melding, though offspring are not always the result). Asari telepathy is generally represented visually by their entire eyes appearing to turn black. --The Terminus Systems- A section of the galaxy with no governing body and few laws. While most of the galaxy is governed by the Citadel, the Terminus Systems are essentially dominated by pirates, slavers, and criminals. Species Details --Asari- All female, skin tone normally ranges from pale blue to deep indigo, often (but not always) seen with facial markings. Their physical shape is nearly identical to that of human women, except that in place of hair, that have flat, backward facing plates that vaguely resemble rigid tentacles. Generally considered the most technologically and politically powerful race in the galaxy, the asari have a 1,000 year lifespan. Members of nearly every sapient species find them attractive. During reproduction, an asari offspring will receive both sets of genes from their mother, one set is an exact copy of their mother's genes, the other is randomized through melding with a partner. While the “father” can be a member of any species or any sex, the offspring are always asari. In fact, it’s something of a taboo for asari to mate with members of their own species, preferring instead to strengthen their species by adding diversity (also, because asari/asari pairings occasionally produce an Ardat-Yakshi) --Batarian- In their general proportions, they are similar to humans, though they have four eyes, sharp teeth, and generally very deep, gruff-sounding voices. Many species look down upon them due to their penchant for criminal activity and their cultural belief in the righteousness of slavery. --Salarian- A highly intellectual, amphibian-looking species; salarians generally have long, slender limbs and quick minds. While they only live for 60 years, their profoundly fast minds have made them one of the most prosperous species in the galaxy. They lack a sex drive, and generally mate after arranging a contract with another family. --Quarian- Proportioned like lithe, slender humans; quarians lost their homeworld centuries ago. They are most known for their weakened immune system, partially resulting from their entire species living aboard a migrant fleet of starships that they affectionately refer to as the flotilla. They are always seen enclosed in a form-fitting environmental suit. They generally have a kind disposition and extraordinary technological prowess, partially resulting from having to keep the starships on which they reside operational after hundreds of years. --Krogan- Reptilian warriors with thick bodies and a culture that emphasizes combat. Their biological durability is exceptional, being able to endure toxins, radiation, and a huge amount of physical harm. While not especially bright, they are formidable fighters, and exceptionally difficult to kill. They reproduce similarly to humans, and definitely seem to enjoy the act of mating. --Turian- Long, slender beings with a hard carapace and pointed spines in various places. The turians are most defined by a compulsion to serve their community. They’re generally seen as very disciplined and duty-oriented. Many have diverse skills and often serve in the Turian military, in fact, they make up the bulk of military personnel in the galaxy. They appear to have a sex drive, and it’s believed they mate similarly to humans. --Hanar- Large, jellyfish like organisms that are able to live outside of water and generally communicate through bioluminescence. They are generally polite, but seemingly capable of criminal and immoral acts. While genderless, there was at least one reference to “Asari-Hanar porn” in the game. So canonically… the universe of Mass Effect does contain tentacle porn. --Vorcha- Somewhat demonic-looking creatures with low intelligence and very short lifespans. The Vorcha process spoken language poorly and have a growling/hissing voice, they are defined by an exceptional ability to heal and their tendency to communicate through violence. They tend to be vicious and ruthless fighters and their contributions to galactic society are rarely beyond low-level crime and violence. Keep in mind that if you need any image or video reference to know what any of these species look or sound like, google is just a few clicks away.

I tried to keep this relatively brief and easy to reference, so feel welcome to look back on this if you need a quick and easy reminder of the details relevant to this particular story. There are, of course, volumes written about the universe of Mass Effect; I merely created this short document to be a quick cheat-sheet for my particular story.

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