#but for real this surgery is hella expensive

[xbratouttahellx]

Welp. My husband’s service dog has torn her CCL and now needs a $6,000 surgery. So that’s fun.

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[coryothesub]

Better Now?

Hi, I’m back, not in the bestest place both physically and mentally and very sorry to everyone who has sent in lovely asks recently. I’ve resumed working on them, but for now I can offer a fully self indulgent semi-autobiographical oneshot about Dr. Sejanus Plinth (hey, we all know he wanted to be a medic so very fitting), which is heavily based on my first ever hospital experience.

No, I didn't have a hot doctor that looked like Sejanus, instead I was treated by a couple of pretty funky dudes, but the story about the two surgeries instead of one is completely true (they had to perform a 2nd one, bc they hadn't noticed everything that had to be fixed before the 1st one). Horny roommates are also based on very real persons and the post surgery pain as well as the sickness from the painkillers are unfortunately real (that's why I wasn't really able to write although I kinda wanted to). Oh and the weird tingling sensation around stitches during orgasm is also apparently a thing. Okay sorry for tmi let's get into the smut.

nsfw / mdni / doctor!sejanus / patient!reader / mentions of hospital and some real medical horrors

“Dr. Sejanus Plinth, I’m going to perform surgery on your broken leg and ensure a steady way to your recovery,” he stood at the foot of your bed on your first day at the hospital looking hella handsome wearing his little glasses and a snow white scrubs.

You were feeling shit scared since it was your first time at the hospital. He always tried to cheer you up, tell you a funny joke or take you on a little wheelchair ride. Your roommates said he was obviously flirting, but you always got flustered and brushed it off as professional niceness.

He was ever so clean and perfect, his dark curly hair impeccably styled and a trail of expensive cologne following him wherever he went. How could he possibly fall for the messy looking girl in the hospital bed? Your hair was dirty, you were sweating profusely from the sickening painkillers that probably made you stink.

You couldn't remember any time when you were in so much pain other than the first two days after the surgery. The only thing keeping you sane was  Dr. Plinth’s reassuring smile that appeared above the little curtain right after the surgery. He nodded at you and said “It’s over!”

You had taken it quite literally, not suspecting what was awaiting you in the coming days. Right after the anesthetics wore off the pain became so insufferable you were just silently crying in your bed feeling like your leg was about to explode from the inside.

The nurses pumped you full of painkillers until you dozed off and the first face you saw next morning was Dr. Plinth.

“You are such a good girl, you did so good,” he smiled softly and you weren't quite sure what he was referring to. Was it your performance of laying horizontally during the surgery? Well you didn't have much choice since the lower part of your body had been paralyzed by the anesthetics.

“That hot doctor, he’s totally into you,” your roommates teased, but you just tried to focus on the fact that you were set to get out of the hospital in two days.

Then the bad news came. Dr.Plinth stood at the foot of your bed, his face darkened by concern.

“There's this other thing. A rupture of ligaments. We were able to notice it only after the first surgery. I am afraid I'm gonna need to perform another one. I am really sorry for that.”

You literally felt like you were gonna burst out in tears, but you clenched your jaw, wanting to look stronger than you actually were.

“It's alright Dr.Plinth. What needs to be done has to be done,” you spoke calmly, but your mind was rehashing everything you were bound to go through again. The wait, the anesthetics, the excruciating pain in the first few hours and the discomfort every time you had to move your leg, even if only to sit up for a meal or go to the bathroom.

“How are you feeling today?” The next day you were woken up by the lively voice of Dr. Plinth. Despite your protests, he came to check on you every morning and since your first surgery sort of  failed, he also came in every evening. You weren't sure whether he did that out of guilt or other feelings.

“Have been better,” you sighed with a grim poker face that prevented him from telling whether you were angry with him or just tired.

“I'm so sorry the first surgery wasn't sufficient,” the poor young man started apologizing in front of your roommates. “You weren't supposed to go through that again.”

“It's alright Dr.Plinth,” you batted your eyes at him, making his pretty chubby cheeks blush immediately. “I know you would want only the best for me.”

His hand was resting on the pillow pile next to your casted leg and you ran your fingers over it, almost making him jump at the sensation.

Your roommates were watching the interaction with great interest, probably thinking you both were gonna start making out right then and there.

Feeling their gaze burning through his back, Dr. Plinth offered you a little wheelchair ride. A bit reluctant, you still got yourself out of the bed and let him help you get on the wheelchair.

“Where are you taking me? Do we need another x-ray or a CT scan?”

“No,” Dr.Plinth chuckled. “They don't perform tests at this hour, except for the emergency room. I wanted you to see this.”

He wheeled you to the end of the hallway and stopped at the large window where you could see nothing but endless forest continuing all the way to the horizon. A fiery red sun was sinking above the treeline making you gasp quietly at the sight.

“Beautiful, isn't it?” Dr. Plinth leaned down and you could feel his hot breath lingering on your neck. It seemed almost romantic.

“I come here and watch the sunset at every opportunity when I have the time during my shift. It helps me blow off the steam a bit.”

You turned your head to the side and looked into his soulful brown eyes. He looked even more handsome in high definition.

“It must be hard to work here,” you gave him a sympathetic look.

“Oh, it's just me, as much as I try I can't get myself desensitized to the whole process. I see people hurting every day. And when they hurt, I hurt. That's why I feel so damn guilty every time there's more pain that could have been avoided. Like your second surgery…”

He leaned down closer to you, his lips just mere centimeters from yours.

“I just want to make it up to you. I swear, if I could I would do anything to make you feel better.”

“Anything?” A glimpse of mischief sparked in your eyes.

Dr. Plinth swallowed thickly and nodded.

Quite unexpectedly you cupped his face and smashed your lips into his, something you had been longing to do for quite a time. His lips felt so soft and plump, even better than you could have ever imagined.

Dr. Plinth immersed himself into the kiss, parting his lips to allow your tongue to explore his velvety mouth.

When you two finally broke the kiss to catch some breath, he adjusted his glasses panting softly and looked deeply into your eyes.

“Dr. Plinth, your lips feel so soft,” you chuckled shyly, feeling a treacherous blush filling your cheeks.

“I think you can call me Sejanus at this point,” he looked flustered yet eager to continue your little adventure. 

Sejanus grabbed your wheelchair and opened the nearest door with a plack that said “Sanitary chamber”.

You found yourself in a small room stuffed with toilet tissue, different wipes and sanitary mats, the last rays of the setting sun breaking through the neat stacks of supplies.

Sejanus immediately connected his lips to yours again, his hands running up and down your sides underneath your t-shirt. You gasped as he cupped your naked breasts while gently sucking at your lower lip.

“You know, I could make you feel better in an even more effective way,” he whispered against your lips, his warm hand diving under the waistband of your pajama shorts.

You shivered at the sensation of Sejanus's skillful fingers pressing against your clit, discovering that you were already threathcerously wet.

“What an eager girl,” your doctor groaned as his digits massaged your sensitive bud at a steady place, causing you to let out a series of soft moans against his lips.

Sejanus kept a tight eye contact while letting his two fingers slide inside your squelching wet count while his thumb kept rubbing your clit. It was truly amazing how he managed to cover the whole field.

“Fuck, you’re really good with this!” You moaned as he trailed small kisses down your neck sucking harshly at the spot where it met your shoulder.

Sejanus chuckled mischievously.

“I'm a doctor, we are taught how to touch people in the correct manner.”

“God, did they teach you this at the medical school?” You threw your head back, feeling your legs shaking from the immense pleasure.

“No, princess” Sejanus let out a small laugh, nibbling at your earlobe. “I guess I figured that part out myself…”

Squelching sounds filled the small chamber as he kept fingerbanging you and you tried your best to stifle your moans to avoid the whole floor finding out about your evening shenanigans.

“Oh… Dr…. Sejanus, I’m gonna…” your attempt at building a sentence was cut off by a loud moan as you came all over his fingers, your body shaking and a weird tingling feeling echoing through your stitches.

“Better now?” Sejanus asked in a gentle voice after pressing another soft kiss to your lips.

You nodded, still coming down from your heights as you watched him grab one of the countless tissue packages and gently cleaning you off.

“There you go,” Sejanus smiled, turning your wheelchair back to the exit.

“Wait!” You gave him a concerned look. “Shouldn't I… Return the favor?”

Sejanus graced you with a soft smile, brushing a stray strand of hair off your forehead.

“This was me trying to make amends because I fucked up, remember? Plus, I have to get back to work.”

You pouted, wishing this moment would last longer. Sejanus noticed and tilted your chin up gently giving you a mischievous wink.

“Nobody said we cannot keep practicing this as a form of therapy though.”

[t0sshii]

ginhiji hospital au??

I needed to get this off of my brain and I can’t draw or write so here it goes... Ginhiji but Hijikata is a nurse working in a hospital and Gintoki is the new resident who comes off as lazy but is actually a really good doctor (which surprises our boy Toushi)

More thoughts under the cut? (I have more thoughts about hijikata because.... i have more experience there LOL)

I’ve been a working nurse for more than half a year now so I kind of know what I’m talking about? (but not really because i’m definitely still a baby nurse that’s still learning OTL) but really im a baby don’t ask me specifics

I got into Gintama super late and I have so many regrets because it’s taken over my life. 

hijikata working in either medsurg, ICU, or emergency because it’s not slow, needs great time management skills and working under pressure /but i have a bias for medsurg because that’s where i am right now... but i feel like he would definitely be the same kind of intense that some ICU nurses i know are... 

he’s definitely the type to not take a proper break at work... would probably eat saltines from the nutrition room 

reason 1: he’s too busy

reason 2: hates to go on break if he has to leave hella shit for the person covering him (so he give all his meds, clean his patients, give pain meds...make sure they NEVER call the person covering him on break) but that also means when things don’t calm down he feels like there’s never an opening for one

meanwhile he will give meds, clean patients, and do everything for whoever he covers for break 

when this happens kondo sends yamazaki to cover him for breaks because you can’t tell patients to eat their food when you haven’t eaten toushi 

is really good at putting in IVs, nobody on the unit even tries to put them in when he’s working they’ll just ask him to do it for them

a charting superuser lol

his brain... impeccable. a work of art. a pinnacle of organization. made his own because the hospital issued one doesn’t work for him

probably looks something like this

note: allows you do just quickly circle things during shift change instead of writing it all down...i would probably make past medical history section bigger though (do i use a sheet like this? no because i am... organized chaos and writing it down helps ME--but toushi probably wants to take as little time possible writing shit down) 

reads his work e-mail, even the newsletters from the hospital

kondo is nurse manager and is a very supportive one (the potlucks!!! tries his best to make sure everyone feels supported at work ; w ;) hired hijikata..

when hijikata is charge, the work is distributed evenly thank god 

also “it’s an hour until shift change and if this patient doesn’t come up in 10 minutes they’re not coming until after shift change” 

everyone asks him for help because he knows all the hospital policies

what nurse isn’t frustrated with doctors lets be real 

exhibit A: “my patient is in TEARS with 10/10 pain and the doctors have the audacity to ask if THEY TRIED TO DISTRACT THEMSELVES WITH ART?” (this is a literal conversation I’ve had with a resident before) 

hates talking to interns because he ends up having to teach them how to do their job 

hates talking to jaded attendings

only attending he likes is shouyo

used to have long hair in nursing school but cut it after his ponytail got into some shit during a bed bath 

still smokes.. kondo hates it because we’ve all seen what it’s done to our patients and you still smoke?

has tried to quit but never works out

gintoki also gets on his case about it

just imagine hijikata in those black figs joggers scrubs UGH 

in this universe they’re called digs because copyright and this is still gintama we’re talking about

these scrubs are unnecessarily expensive so he didn’t actually buy them himself ( “why the fuck would i buy expensive scrubs if i am going to get literal shit on it”).. if left to his own devices he will wear those ugly ass hospital issued scrubs

Kondo and his other friends split the price for the black joggers and a 3 pocket scrub top -- because we all know hijikata puts ALL his supplies in his pockets. he NEEDS pockets

Gintoki thinks his ass looks good in those joggers UGH 

Hijikata won’t admit it but the digs are his favorite pair they are so comfortable. still won’t buy them with his own money though

student nurses are scared of him because he’s intense and asks hard questions, really strict... doesn’t bully but pushes students and orientees really hard

but also any one who can survive being trained by him becomes an excellent nurse

that nurse that’s on top of their shit and THINKS instead of just following orders

“saw his potassium is high. can we do something about that?”

“there wasn’t continuous oxygen monitoring ordered but i put them on because it doesn’t look good. can we get an order for that” 

all the doctors trust him because he’s just so goOD

gets on gintoki’s case about looking like a bum at the hospital all the time

if he EVER catches wind of doctors talking down to his nurses or older nurses bullying the newer ones (which never really happens because kondo is a great manager who fosters a very nontoxic work culture) they will...FEEL. HIS. WRATH. 

also will not tolerate patients treating him (or his coworkers) like shit. will be more professional dealing with patients tho than with the MDs. but if it’s an MD berating a nurse, they better be ready to get their ass KICKED

Gintoki is the new resident along with katsura and takasugi in.... internal medicine? surgery? idk? 

i mostly just wanted write this one: hijikata has a patient in a pain crisis 10/10 pain, given all available pain meds, tried everything possible but still no relief. paged the new resident working with this patient 

hijikata fully expects either a call saying “sorry i can’t order any more pain medicine for this patient” or just another IV medicine ordered with no communication at all 

but gintoki comes into the patient’s room (first thing hijikata notices is unprofessional hair, wrinkled jacket, mismatching socks and thinks this doctor is going to be lazy AF), speaks to the patient with great bedside manner, talks to the patient about pain management strategies and WORKS WITH THEM for a better plan for medication. walks with the patient in the hall and even takes them to the bathroom 

hijikata is FLOORED. because this never happens with MDs.

(this has actually happened and me and all my coworkers were SO PLEASANTLY SURPRISED)

hijikata once sent gintoki a message asking if he wanted to lower the dose for a medication because the lab for it was high 

gintoki thought he was the pharmacist because hijikata is just that good

likes the sound of hijikata’s voice on the phone so he always returns his pages even if it’s just to say “ok i’ll put the order in” 

secretly gets excited when he sees hijikata’s name on the chart under the care team 

one because he’s hot

two because he’s a good nurse

actually learns a lot from hijikata

gets to know hijikata’s bad break habits and gives him a coffee whenever he notices he’s working (but is absolutely disgusted when he brings out the mayonnaise)

“how can you tell your patients to be healthy when you put that shit in everything you eat?” 

hijikata counters with “you can’t tell me what to eat when you’re on your way to diabetes asshole” 

tries to be the kind of MD shouyo is 

being in healthcare is hard so the two of them do drink together if their days off line up to vent....

hijikata complains about dumb MDs (gintoki makes mental notes on how to not be an annoying MD), how busy his days are, and why are we always understaffed... how can we run out of IVs? 

gintoki complains about all the calls he gets, how stressful residency is, why are rounds so early, that midget takasugi, the long ass working hours, being on call fuckin sucks

both bond over sharing crazy stories about patients or how their day went....also hospital complaints because what healthcare worker doesn’t complain about their hospital 

get into “who’s job is more stressful” arguments a lot

on particularly hard (emotionally, physically, mentally) days the other would show up with a bag of food and drinks? 

when the two start dating, it’s usually just... hanging out at work? 

if somehow by some miracle, they get their breaks together (if at all) they eat together

if they do have days off together they usually spend it sleeping (literally you guys) or relaxing at one of their apartments

sleep deprived healthcare workers lead to many....petty...arguments but they make up by the end 

it’s late and i have more thoughts? but i have work tomorrow. but i needed to get this OUT OF MY BRAIN.

also feel free to message me about any of this!! :) asks are always open hehe

[princeleyjeans]

My first OC: An intro to Amelia.

As some of ya’ll know, Wallace and Gromit was what got me writing, literally, soon as i saw the movie all my chubby 10 year old butt wanted to do was make my own episode for the show and while I knew I was too little to work for Aardman Animations, that didn’t stop me writing fanfiction and beginning a fun and disturbing trot into the fandom world.  Amy, was my first character, the one who started it all and yes, her story, is not one of cute mishaps and crime solving like that of her husbands (Well, husband’s dog but you know), it’s not twisted but it’s not light either, she is and always has been hella un-canon to the series, to the world they reside in and sure, as a kid I was told Mr Park wouldn’t touch such a mature plot-line with a barge pole, but it didn’t stop me and here we are today.  Amelia Quartermaine:  Age: 28 Gender: Female.  Height: 5/11. Description: Pale skin, ginger/reddish hair with your stereotype freckles across the nose area of the face with piercing hazel eyes, larger than most cartoon creators like but not technically unhealthy, a physical blend of muscle and squish, huntress thicc, slight hourglass figure but the weight is a little wider than commonly described.  --- Amelia begins as a brief glace during a routine visit to her almost stepmother/aunt figure, Totty, as I mentioned earlier, she’s appeared on the specific day to collect the last of Hutch’s things since he’s now living with her family, it’s not an idea situation and Lady T is less than okay with losing her one real link to Wallace, a missed love interest who declined her marriage/business proposal, but knowing of Amelia fondness for him and dedication to animals (Philip the dog, the family’s various large frightening birds and imported Vampire deer happily scattered around Victor’s less impressive manor house) she accepts the idea he’ll be happier there and leaves the matter at that.  Speaking of love, it’s obviously Cupid firing arrows at a solid wall, nothing gets through for a while until Wallace suffers a minor injury during a tour of the Quartermaine estate, caused by Lady Tottington asking for his company on a visit to her ex boyfriends estate to attend a live auction of Victor’s hunting gear, various expensive/rare guns and weaponry finally being taken away from his weak grasp following the whole being beaten to a pulp by the angry mob and left needing rehab/reconstructive surgery on his legs/right shoulder.  Don’t get confused, this isn’t a choice he’s made, no no, it’s his children, Amelia and her brothers, seeing his altered state and lack of ability to properly hold a rifle and deciding the best option is to save Victor from himself and remove temptation from his home, keeping the good shit for themselves but making sure he can’t get his mitts on any random weapons to use against animals, people, Wallace, you get the idea. He’s a cranky old man at this point and will happily deck the one who put him in crutches/permanent knee brace so what’s safer than remove 99% of all his shooty shoot toys.  After said auction, Amelia walks her aunt and Wallace through the hand planted woodland, ranging 500 years old and full of some of the freakiest birds you ever saw, along with the little vampire deers that aren’t actually scary and really like people and small corn snacks, no sooner have they cleared a path and entered the most beautiful memorial pond area for the girls mother, Wallace trips over something and ends face down in the dirt with a vamp deer climbing on his back to reach a random grub on a nearby tree, the whole fiasco causes Tottys almost step-daughter to burst out laughing and thus begins the inevitable woo of the Quartermaine girl as any man capable of making even the coldest of people laugh must be one worth knowing.  Of course, with all his love interests, this one holds an unspoken truth Gromit wishes to solve fast, especially given her status, and even with Hutch acting as a comforting example Amelia can be kind, he needs to uncover the other side, when things get tough, how many skeletons fall from the closet?  ---- Now: A little background.  Amelia is one of three children, being the youngest while her brothers, twins Marcus (Short for Machello) and Dametre are joint first, all birthed via Victors first wife and only love, Giovanna, who was lost to a long running genetic condition with no known cure or explanation.  Amelia grew up under the wing of her father, favoring hunting/taxidermy/general gruesome hobbies as the twins preferred a variety of tailoring, cooking, knitting, gardening and lighter crafts, similar to Gromit.  They were equally close to each parent although you get the idea that Victor held a certain admiration for his daughter given their shared blood lust, the familiar craving of the hunt and urge to display their kills for the world to see, plus being of similar mind yet him being the obviously weaker of the pair, Amelia dutifully going through with the plan while he either got angry with all the complicated steps or just failed to follow up.  Victor, as a younger man, was very much one of those snobby “I’ll kill it, eat it and show you it’s skin because I’m hella macho”, while his daughter, was...well, a killer, a darker presence his weakness clung to, like a mother unable to let go of her son due to fear his partner will replace her in his heart, lack of power, lack of ones own worth so he taught her to be the best, the hunter capable of a big kill, no fear, all confidence and knowledge of entitlement and worth.  No surprise, though never actually murdering a person, Amelia was a skilled fighter, handy with a sword, steady with a pistol and indestructible, mentally and physically....at least, until the death of her mother.  Although staying strong, it left a rift, a rift concealed by a large vault door and locked tight so nobody could see just how sad it was to lose the only rational/in tact person in her life.  Yes, she loved her father but Victor was a proud man, a proud father, giddy over having a child so devoted to the hunt just as he was, as his own father and grandfather, having someone to carry on not just the bloodline but that legacy, that path, despite loving his daughter, his sons, Victor was not someone you could actually...talk to.  Giovanna was, she was that small hint of sanity in a strange, abnormal world, riddled in blood and destruction, she was that light at the end, the warm water washing away the deeds of the day, the listening ear and giver of advice, the forgiving hug, the confessional Amelia could tell her sins to with all the promise of them never seeing the outside.  Regardless of being a hunter, Amelia also cared about animals, and her relationship with the forest was a complicated sort, it was hypocritical and ironic but she refused to engage that part of herself, she wanted to have her cake and eat it too, no matter of the internal struggles between just and evil.  After the mothers death, the brothers took over, Amelia hunted but the twins were her protectors, the homemakers and general kindness of the estate as Victor got more into his cruel habits and needing of money, he did it all for them, but at the same time, he also did it to ease the heartache, the loss, the pain of having his wife around, without her being with him. He believed that the ones you loved never left, but at the same time, never seeing their faces was enough to put all those feelings to the test, all that faith, all that sense out the window.  --- Back to the present: With her father’s condition now requiring support/aid, Amelia has taken position as one of the estates breadwinners, next to her brother Dam while Marcus stays home and looks after Victor, the arrangement is stable but with the intro of Hutch and her sudden taking to Wallace, things are looking...rocky, soon to become worse as Gromit gets involved to uncover just how much of her childhood has stuck. (Spoiler: SHE DECKS A BEAR AND PUTS THE VICAR THROUGH A PEW!)  Welp Imma end this here, prob gonna do another story post at some point but for now I need a pee and my ass hurts from sitting so long

[lovemesomesurveys]

Would/Do you like having brown eyes? Meh. I wish I had blue or green, honestly. Do you spend a lot of time on the internet? I sure do. Could you live without the internet? Well yeah, but I wouldn’t enjoy it. Have you bought anyone a Christmas gift? Yes, many. I love buying gifts for my family. Do you have a Christmas tree in your house now? I have a mini one in my room. I said I was going to put my decorations away this year (they were up all year last year), but I have yet to do so. :X

How do you feel when someone hates on Apple? I’m an Apple gal, so. Do you have an Iphone? If so, which one? Yeah, an iPhone XR. Favorite flavor of jello? I don’t like jello. I see. Do you have long toes? No. What is one of your favorite compliments to recieve? I don’t receive compliments all that often, so any is nice. Even though I’m awkward af. Do you compliment other random people? No.  Could you see yourself buying a truck as your go to vehicle? No. What kind of car do you want? Something less than $100,000. I don’t know. I don’t even drive, so. What kind of gift would you appreciate for your birthday? I appreciate any gift I receive. Can you type fast? Yes. Can you type without looking at the letters? Yep. Did you take typing classes? Yeah, my freshman year in high school. It was required. What do you use Facebook for? That’s about as social as it gets for me, ha. Even though I don’t interact much with anyone apart from liking or reacting in some way to posts. I at least can see what others are up to. What do you look like in your profile picture? On Facebook? It’s a photo of my mom, brother, and I at Disneyland. I’m wearing a pistachio green Disneyland hoodie, a rose gold Disney hat, and my hair is in a low side pony tail. Do you love cartoons? I like the ones from my childhood.  Name a band that you like. There’s several, but fine I’lll name 2 that instantly came to mind: Linkin Park and Coldplay. Name a genre of music you don't like? EDM, techno, clubhouse music. What genre of music do you listen to around the house? My main Spotify playlist has a shitload of songs of various genres.  You think it's wrong to tell a person ____. Anything mean and hurtful. What kind of compliments have you given? Uhhh usually about something they’re wearing or an accessory they have. Would you rather give or receive? Give. Do you paint your own nails? It’s been a few years since I’ve painted my nails. Do you like acrylic nails? I’ve never had them. What is your favorite red lipstick? I don’t have a favorite. Red lipstick is nice, but I haven’t worn any lipstick in such a long time. What are your favorite colors to wear? I wear a lot of black, but I like some pops of color. What colors do you NOT wear? Brown and neon. Where do you shop for most of clothes? Hot Topic, BoxLunch, and Kohl’s.  What are you favorite clothing stores/shops? ^^^ What kind of shoes do you like? Adidas. Describe your style in one word. Comfy casual, ha. Describe your current personality in one or two words. Awkward. What is your opinion on weed? I think it has a lot of benefits. Are you afraid of child birth/pregnancy? Child birth sounds rather unpleasant. What are you favorite bottoms to wear? Leggings. They’re all I wear. Do you like dresses? I haven’t worn a dress in years.  Would you rather be called a geek, a nerd or a dork? I’m all of those. Do you eat cake with a spoon or a fork? Usually a fork, but a spoon works as well. What age will you be next? 31. Did you graduate high school? Yes. Do you make youtube videos? If so, leave your URL. No. Do you flat iron your hair? I haven't in years. What physical features do you wish you had? ( name 2 ). Nice teeth/smile and blue or green eyes. Would you ever get plastic cosmetic surgery? If it were for reconstructive purposes.  Ever broken a bone? Yeah. What are you favorite youtube videos to watch? Lots of ASMR, but also some vloggers and lifestyle/entertainment videos. What is your favorite sex position? ;) I wouldn’t know. What color will you paint your nails next? I don’t plan on painting my nails anytime soon. It’s been years since the last time. What is one of your favorite Disney movies? Alice in Wonderland. If you could meet a real life Disney character who would it be? Haha I get so excited meeting the characters at Disneyland. I’m such a kid. And a dork. Are you afraid of ghosts/hauntings? Well, there are evil spirits and that’s scary.  Do you like to play computer games a lot? I like playing the Sims. I go through periods where I’m obsessed and play all the time and then not play for a long time. I last played over a year ago. Are you a sore loser? No. What is your favorite game to play with family/friends? I love board games. What is your beer of choice? I don’t drink anymore, but I was never fond of beer. What do you plan to buy next? Food. Do you like shopping? Yeah. Online shopping, especially. What is one of your favorite things to do on the weekend? I don’t do anything different. Here, I'm giving you $500 dollars to one store, where would you spend it? Hmmm. I’d have to think about it. Would you look good in a Beetle car? I wouldn’t want one. Do you play slug bug? I did when I was a kid. You know, it’s been forever since I’ve seen one. I feel like I saw them all the time and then they just disappeared.  What kind of computer are on? MacBook Air. You are attracted to ___. Alexander Skarsgard. Do you like glitter? It’s pretty, but also a huge pain. Have you ever owned a Ouija board? Noooo. I don’t mess with stuff like that. Do you like to text? Over talking on the phone, yeah. I’m not a big texter, though. If you had to be an animal for Halloween, what would it be? A cat. Do you have more dry skin or oily skin? Dry. What kind of shampoo do you use? Be specific. It’s a salon shampoo for red dyed hair. Do you have acne? I get a couple pimples once in awhile. I used to get it a lot when I was a teenager and in my early 20s. You're glad that you don't ___. have school anymore. You're glad that you do ___. have my family.  Your favorite cuss word? I don’t have a favorite. Are you obsessed with any superheros? I love Marvel films. Do you read comic books? No. Do you like the Sunday paper and why or why not? I used to when I was a kid cause I liked reading the comics. I haven’t read an actual newspaper in yearssss. I mostly read the news online, but I also watch it on TV. Do you have cable? Yeah. What's a show you wish that was still on air? True Blood. Do you listen to the radio at all? I haven’t in quite a long time. My parents and brother play their Spotify in their cars (and I’m in their cars).  Do you like hip hop? Yeah. Do you like pretzels? Soft pretzels with cheese are good. Do you like snow? Yesss. What's your favorite thing about your favorite season? Name the season. I love fall and winter. Everything about it is lovely. Name something that starts with the first letter of your first name. Snacks. Name something that starts with the first letter of your middle name? I don’t wanna. And your lastname. Fruit. Do you have pets? If so, what and what are their names? Yes, I have a 3 year old German Shepherd/Lab mix named Princess Leia. Are you a religious person? Yes. Do you like pina coladas? I’ve never had one. Do you like coconut scents? Yeah. What is your favorite Bath and Body Works candles? Their autumnal ones. Would you spend 20 dollars on a candle? Nooo. What is the goriest thing you've seen in real life? Roadkill.  Do you look in the mirror a lot? Nooo. I avoid it as much as possible. When I do, I keep it short.  What brand of toothpaste do you use? Sensodyne.  What is a dessert that you DON'T like? Pie or pudding. And one that you love? Cheesecake, cupcakes, brownies, donuts, and muffins. Twilight or Harry Potter? I liked both.  Would you rather be a vampire or a mermaid? Vampire I guess. Do you have a favorite number? 8. Had a crush on somebody that every1 around u thought was ugly? I mean, I’ve found people attractive that my friends didn’t and vice versa. We all have different tastes.  Are you happy with your physical features? No. P.E or Math? Ew, neither. Math or Science? Neither. Creative Writing or Art? Creative writing. When you doodle, what are you usually doodling? Usually hearts and random words in cursive. What is something that you like that is really cheap in price? Ramen? Haha. Like the packs you get at the grocery store for less than a dollar. What is something that you like that is kind of expensive? Apple products. Those aren’t kind of expensive, they’re hella expensive. What do you do when someone is really rude to you in public? I wouldn’t do anything towards them, I’d just talk a lot of crap later ha. Do you argue with your significant other a lot? I’m single. Have you ever had a really painful breakup? Yes. Which is better smoking or vaping? Neither. Do you write in print or cursive? Print. Do you have neat handwriting? No. My handwriting is awful. What do you like to write with? Pens. Do you keep a journal/diary? This is it. Do you eat salads? What do you like in your salad? If you do. If not, what is 1+1? I like them, but it’s honestly been a few years since I’ve had one. Anyway, I just like lettuce, spinach, shredded cheese, olives, croutons, green onions, carrots, and hard boiled eggs with ranch on top. Back when I could eat spicy food I would add pepperoncinis and/or cayenne pepper. If you HAD to change your eyecolor, what would you change it to? Blue or green. What is one of your favorite colors? Rose gold. Do you prefer to be pale or tan? Don't say in between. I’m very pale due to anemia, malnutrition, and I like never go out in the sun. I wish I were tan. I used to be. Favorite thing to do on your phone? YouTube, Spotify, Twitter, Facebook, Snapchat, Instagram, Kindle, and play some games. What magazines do you like? I don’t read any.  What is your favorite book? I couldn’t possibly choose just one. What is your favorite thing about Christmas? Everything. I love Christmastime. I'm giving a ticket to wherever you want, where would you go? Oh man. I’d really think about that before making a choice. Here's $5, what do you do with it? Put it towards food later. Cool. Cool. Favorite flavor of Ice Cream? Strawberry. Least favorite flavor of ice cream? Chocolate. Do you prefer white or black electronics? Uhhh depends. What is your favorite deodorant? I use Secret. Are you a good kisser ( make out )? Probably not. I’d be very rusty now....it’s been a long time. A stranger comes up to you and gives you a big hug, what do you do? Uh, I’d quickly back away and be extremely uncomfortable. I’d be like wtf? That would catch me completely off guard. Do your eyes tear up when you're nervous? Sometimes. Have you ever gotten the shakes in public? Yes. What do you like to order from Starbucks? Usually a caramel macchiato or a white chocolate mocha, but I do enjoy some of their seasonal drinks. Vanilla or Chocolate? Vanilla. Apples or Bananas? Bananas. Fruit or Veggies? I don’t eat much of either one. :X Water or Milk? Water. Regular Milk or Chocolate Milk? Ew. Would you milk a cow given the chance? No. What kind of underwear do you like? Hipster/hip huggers whatever you wanna call ‘em. Where do you shop for your underwear? A few different places. Chicken or Fish? Chicken. I hate seafood. Firm pillow or soft pillow? Soft, but firm.  What are you wearing when you go to sleep? Leggings and an oversized shirt. That’s all I wear now all the time. Do you take any meds? If so which and why? Pain medication.

[lettersandinkstains]

hi, sorry if this is annoying but i think i might be transgender (mtf) and i’m freaking out because i don’t know anything about how to transition or the identity and i was wonder if you have any advice or anything??? thanks a million

Anon, hello! You’re not being annoying at all! I’m sorry this is so late!! 

First things first, thank you for trusting me with this. And good for you for reaching out for answers! I’m not MtF, so my experiences are gonna be a little different but I’ll give you a run down of what I did, and list options for you and sorta just explain the identity. At the end, I’ll link the resources I can! Hopefully you’ll find this useful!

(Please be warned that this is going to be long ! Everything is itemized and broken down for hopefully an easy understanding and help!)

My Experience / What I Did

When I realized I was Definitely Not Cis, I was fairly into adulthood. She/Her pronouns made me want to die, but he/him felt like a puzzle piece that could fit, but not quite. 

I started talking to a therapist about it, and still continue to this day with talking to my new therapist about it. Over the course of the early sessions, I ended up being diagnosed with gender dysphoria, where there’s distress / discomfort between my assigned gender and my gender identity.

From there, on my old blog, I made a post asking for people to use ‘Silas’ and ‘they/them’ for my pronouns. And it just fit perfectly. I elated that I was being referred to correctly -- the pronouns and the name didn’t make me cringe and want to die.

That’s what I did.

What Is Transgender?

Transgender is the term for someone who does not identity as the gender they were assigned with at birth. They can be a trans man, a trans woman, non binary, genderfluid, etc.

The Steps To Take

Talk to a professional who is trained with and is supportive of the LGBTQIA+ community. While it’s not required per se, I very much recommend it. Talking to a professional is incredibly useful for many reasons:

You can get your thoughts and feelings out to a non biased party.

They can help navigate and help you figure out the steps to take.

It’s good to talk to someone! This person can become part of your support network!

Find a supportive community! There’s a thriving trans community on Tumblr, and elsewhere on the internet!

These people are the ones you can go to and talk and ask questions about being trans and transitioning. People’s experiences vary and everyone has different insight!

They will also be a support network for when you need it!

And it doesn’t always need to be online, you can search up local groups where you live, there should be something nearby. If not, that’s okay! Internet friends are real friends too!

I really love r/transpositive and r/asktransgender! Everyone on those two subreddits are so nice and incredible. r/lgbt is also really cool!

I don’t know any community blogs here on Tumblr since I follow only writeblr’s but someone is likely to know something.

I’ve also got an LGBT+ based writeblr discord if you wish to join a welcoming & incredible community! There are also non writing LGBTQIA+ discords! I’m in one for gaming, and r/lgbt’s mod’s run a discord as well called Spectrum. Highly recommend.

Play around with names & pronouns -- and you can also play around with styles too! You’re discovering yourself and your identity. Do what you feel is comfortable.

You can ask a close group of friends you know would be supportive of you to refer to you with she/her pronouns (or whatever pronouns you prefer!), and a name you would like to be called by!

It’s okay if you pick a name now and want to change it later! Names are an important part of your identity and you need to feel comfortable with it!

Dress in clothes that’s considered to be for women. You don’t have to do super femme if you don’t want to! Like, there is no wrong way to dress and present yourself! There’s butch, there’s femme, there’s an in between, etc.

After all, we don’t force cis women to dress super femme and model like (and doubt their gender identity and presentation), so we shouldn’t expect trans women to adhere to those standards either.

However there is nothing wrong with wanting to do! If that sundress makes you feel like a model, and make up makes you feel wonderful, go for it!! And if dressing in jeans, boots, and a t-shirt makes you feel happy, do that!! Dress in a style that makes you feel happy about yourself!

If anyone complains, punch them. Or Snip Snip.

HRT / Transitioning - Hormone Replacement Therapy. This is the act of taking hormones to develop secondary sex characteristics -- trans men take testosterone (T) and trans women take estrogen. Doctors will also sometimes prescribe another hormone to go with it.

If you decide to transition, estrogen will cause a development of breasts, softer skin, fat distribution will be more feminine, and you’ll also develop curves. Essentially, you’ll be going through the typical female puberty.

You don’t have to take hormones if you do not want to or are not ready yet! This is not a be all, end all situation! Take your time and do research on it and the effects it will have!

If anyone tells you that you have to take HRT to be a ~real trans person~, punch them. They have no right telling you what you should do with your body.

This also leads me back to point one: the professional will be able to help you figure this out and help be a support during the process.

Starting Transition

Depending on where you are and your age is what will be available to you.

Some countries do not allow those under the age of eighteen to transition. Some do with explicit parental consent. Be sure to research this as well.

I don’t know if this has changed since I was a youngin, but you would have typically needed a diagnosis if gender dysphoria* in order to get the doctor’s okay and prescription to start HRT. There are exceptions to everything.

This also may depend on local laws too, so check those out!

Depending on what you’re prescribed, you may take birth control, you may have to take shots, etc.

Where you get your hormones also largely depends on where you are too. Here in the United States, universities offer them at their on site clinics (mine does, anyways!), and some Planned Parenthood’s also prescribe hormones too! I can’t speak for other countries, and I wouldn’t even know where to begin looking for you.

HRT is also hella expensive in some places.

If you live in a country with universal health care, it shouldn’t be too much of a problem!

Coming Out -- Don’t come out unless you are ready & you are in a safe environment to do so!

This is basically LGBTQIA+ 101. If you are not safe to do so, do not do it. I know it sucks, but your safety is absolutely number one!

Everything is going to be okay. You are okay, there is nothing wrong with you.

There are certain groups of people who will tell you that your identity may be ~wrong~ or whatever arguments they can think of. Do your best to ignore them, and when you need to, vent to the people you trust.

Things To Check Out

YouTubers:uppercaseCHASE is a trans man who talks about trans issues and his own transition. He has an HRT 101 series that might be helpful! His expertise is FTM (Trans men) so there will be things that might not be as helpful. Educational videos, however!

arielle scarcella - while i do not like her very much and disagree with a lot of her beliefs, she’s a cis lesbian who has done videos in the past that’s educational about trans people -- and frequently has trans women on her channel where they talk about their experiences with HRT, as well as Gender Affirming Surgery if they’ve had it. (same goes for trans men!)

andrea chrysanthe is a trans woman who has documented her experience with transitioning and does life updates. She recently released a two part video that talks a lot about it. (warning: I haven’t watched all of her videos, and some look to be NSFW for at least talk of kink so be careful going in!)

melanie-ish is another trans woman youtuber! she talks about political issues as well as her own experience with transitioning and coming out. (warning: she hasn’t updated her channel in two years!)

PRINCESSJOULES is another trans woman who also documents her life as a trans woman! She also does make up tutorials, vlogging, and a lot of other things!

jammidodger is a trans man who talks about his experience with transitioning. he is by far one of my most favorite youtubers!

(if anyone else has any youtuber recommends, feel free to add on!)

trans resources -

leolines on etsy. they sell underwear for trans women -- a safer alternative to tucking. they also have binders! fairly inexpensive, and so many styles and designs!

the trevor project’s international center - the trevor project in general is absolutely amazing! they have a lot of resources on their website from phone numbers you can call if you’re feeling suicidal to groups and support groups! this link, if you are out of the united states and are looking for something, will give you a listing of international resources! 

transgender law center - legal services and advocacy for trans folks!

trans women of color collective - an advocacy group for trans women of color! they do a lot to help trans women of color! check them out, they’re super cool!

trans youth equality federation  - they provide support for family membes of trans youth, trans youth, and allies. as well as education!

gender spectrum - provides support for all trans youth, as well as education for families and educators!

I AM: trans people speak - a project that was made to raise awareness of about the diversity that exists within the transgender community.

glaad - resources - glaad is a well known organization for advocacy and education!

WHEW ANON that was a lot. Hopefully you made it through to the end, and hopefully it was helpful! I hope those links above help provide some use for you and figuring out what steps you want to take.

On that note, if anybody who has read this wants to add on, they are free to do so. The above is only advice, from one person whose experience is one of millions and still, different.

AND ANON, one more thing! If you wish to talk, you are so much welcome to DM me! They’re open for non mutuals :)!

Good luck on your journey, may it provide you happiness!

[pushingbandcandy]

Apologies to all my friends I speak to and anyone who sees posts that I make the next few days. I WILL be whining about how much it hurts where I had my titanium plate removed from where it was screwed to my bone halfway down my left femure to far enough down the knee socket to run against my patella sometimes. The plate itself was causing irritating to the muscle and tendon around it. It had served its purpose anyways (holding the cadaver bone in the cavityeaten away by the the golf ball sized tumor was removed from so that a new bone matrix could firm around it. Like when they grow coral reefs in the frames). I have 8 open holes all the way through the thickest bone in my body. I am unable to walk to the bathroom without assistance. I hurt laying still. I've taken all the pain meds I can without disregarding their instructions. I am hitting a delta 10 vape for the pain (I don't like smoking or vaping, but sometimes, you gotta make choices. Edibles ((which I do enjoy occasionally)) that would last the same admit of time would be hella expensive and cbd. I can't afford a prescription to just go get real weed. I haven't been able to work in 3 months and I'm down for 2 more. I am broke. I can't afford any fun things for it new place. I have had some level of chronic pain since I was 4 years old and had my first attack from my own body. Today, when I woke up from anesthesia, I had to tell them 10 on the pain scale while sobbing from the worst pain I can remember since I had cancer at 17

I apologize for the fact that that's all I can think about. I can't keep my mind off of it. Please forgive me. I am on my normal 3 different pain meds , oxycodone for the surgery pain, over the counter tylenol, and the delta 10 pen. I barely know what I'm saying

Tldr; I'll tag with tw medical, tw cancer, and sasnak surgery for those of you that don't want to see these posts

[thepermanentscowl]

no now i really have this question: what is it with readers and not being able to read as much as we want?? always there is some restriction: we can only get books once in a year, we cannot buy more than one book at once, we have to stick to some budget, we have a heck ton of work and so on. why are books expensive ugh. even makeup and funky stationery is expensive. nobody stops their kids when they buy stuff like that.

ikr! i don't even understand how they even have the nerve to talk about stuff they have no inkling of. it's unfair. i get it they're grown up-s but that gives them no license to make false off-hand statements. someone once told me, "Age is a myth." now I'd like to slap this phrase on all the complaining-about-phone-addicted-kids-while-looking-at-their-phone people.

ik ik it sounds very contradictory but isn't everything a contradiction? on a lighter note, i was crazy about horror till i was in 6th-7th grade. then i stopped liking it that much. dunno why. yesss finally someone who appreciates ancient indian medical science. do you know they did all their surgeries in broad daylight? their tools were simple yet hella advanced. and the sushrut samhita has more than eight thousand chapters on surgery and operations only. his other works are a different thing in themselves. it's all just so exciting. but sigh, westernization took away more than it gave to the eastern world.

a song. that i sang. is stuck in your head. let that sink in. now I can die in peace too. also i think you meant 'subconsciously' not 'unconsciously'.

wait for real? shruti means 'hearing' and smriti means 'remembering' and that was the exact code of learning back in the early Vedic period. i didn't know about the shruti and smriti idea but I pieced it together, thanks to you.

the call thing can be true because that way you can track the physical location of the person you called. so murder is possible. on the website there's only the topic names that we have to study. the actual material is in the books. but if you google the topics and type 'icse' beside it you'll find everything lol. so yeah you can read the icse stuff for free. and ofcourse I'm not worth getting murdered. i can't go early and quick right? (joking!) also, did you just say I'm worth having you? i hope you realize that this implies entreating me to a rare amenity while dooming yourself to agony. and don't regret saying that that much. let me use margo roth spiegelman's words: "If I ever end up being the kind of person who has one kid and seven bedrooms, do me a favor and shoot me." there, now you can murder me if the need arises.

okay that is just plain bad. when the moment of realization hits you, you just want to grow a beard and move to the andaman and nicobar. damn we just went on discussing the worst case scenarios.

Desi weddings are so enlightening and dramatic fr

[vicariouseyes]

Massive Ask Meme

I was tagged by @grey-skies-full-moon

Rules: Tag 20 people ((That’s so many... I’ll see what I can do.))

Puttin’ this under a Read More because it’s hella long. 

Your last:

1. Drink: A tropical punch-type juice.

2. Phone Call: I had to call my dentist to reschedule an appointment because my car died and I couldn’t get there.

3. Text message: DJ (s/o), I’m pretty sure.

4. Song you listened to: Uh... It might’ve been something from The Last Five Years, which DJ introduced me to. If I’ve listened to anything since then, I don’t remember.

5. Time you cried: Uh... huh. Probably within the last month or two, but I actually don’t remember. That’s a good sign. Gods, it’s nice to be back on my meds again.

Have You:

6. Dated someone twice: No. That is not a thing I do.

7. Kissed someone and regretted it: Nah.

8. Been cheated on: Not that I’m aware of.

9. Lost someone special: Yes.

10. Been depressed: Enough to be medicated for it.

11: Gotten drunk and thrown up: Once.

List 3 Favorite Colors:

12. Teal.

13. Gray.

14: Purple.

In the last year, have you…

15. Made new friends: A couple of acquaintances, but not friends.

16. Fallen out of love: Nope.

17. Laughed until you cried: Oh definitely. That happens all the time.

18. Found out someone was talking about you: I mean, friends making references to me and my existence maybe, but not gossip or anything. At least, not that I know of.

19. Met someone who changed you: I don’t think so...?

20. Found out who your friends are: I mean, I’m well aware of who my friends are.

21. Kissed someone on your FB list: I mean, DJ’s on my facebook list, so yeah, lol.

GENERAL:

22. How many Facebook friends do you know in real life: 99% of them. There are two that added me years ago that I just sort of added because fuck it, and we’ve literally never talked, but it’s kind of nice seeing how their lives are doing. I just haven’t had the heart to unfriend them after all this time.

23. Do you have any pets: Not anymore. My parents have a dog, and DJ has a cat, but I don’t have any pets that feel like they’re MY pets, you feel me?

24. Do you want to change your name: I mean... There are two that I would consider for very different reasons, but I’ve gotten so used to my name that switching now would probably be weird.

25. What did you do for your last birthday: DJ and I hung out and got dinner and stuff. My mom also used it as an excuse to have a cookout later in the month, lol.

26. What time did you wake up: I woke up several times last night. If you mean actually stayed awake, probably around 11 or so.

27. What were you doing at midnight last night: Watching Twitch or sitting on the internet, probably.

28. Name something you can’t wait for: The possibility of moving to Chicago.

29. When was the last time you saw your Mom: Last... Monday, I believe.

30. What is one thing you wish you could change in your life: Financial stability/security.

31. What are you listening to right now: DJ’s mom’s cockatiels chirping. Other than that and the ceiling fan in here, there isn’t really any noise. I WAS listening to a Rooster Teeth Podcast not too long ago while folding laundry, but then I moved to a different room, and haven’t put another one on yet.

32. Have you ever talked to a person named Tom: Yes.

33. Something that is getting on your nerves: Feeling frustrated and lost I guess, but that’s actually started to ease up recently as I’ve been slowly figuring things out. I’ve got a long way to go, but it’s kind of nice.

34. Most visited website: Tumblr, Facebook, Youtube, Twitch. I visit them all pretty equally.

35. Mole/s: Uh... A bunch. Two on my neck, a couple on my chest, several on my arms, maybe one or two on my legs, and one other one.

36. Mark/s: I’ve currently got some scars thanks to Nugget (DJ’s cat), but those’ll probably go away sooner or later, as with any other scars or bruises I’ve ever picked up. The only lasting scar I have is on the bridge of my nose. When I was 5 or so, I tried to feed my uncle’s Very Large Dog, Snowball, a piece of ham. He was very excited about the ham, and I was very small. Wasn’t his fault, and I never blamed him for it. Honestly, I’ve kind of grown to really like that scar. It’s distinctive.

37. Childhood dream: I wanted to be a horse until I was 5 and found out you couldn’t do that (lmao). I wanted to be a vet after that until I was 11 or 12 and realized I was very squeamish around gore. I wanted to be a zoologist after that all the way up until freshman year of college, after which my goals changed, and are still currently evolving. There was also DEFINITELY a point where I wanted to host my own Animal Planet show, a la Steve Irwin or Jeff Corwin.

38. Hair color: It’s currently a light/medium auburn. I tried dyeing purple over it, but it didn’t stick for very long. Naturally, it’s a medium/dark brown with some red in it.

39. Long or short hair: My hair is actually currently the shortest it’s been since 2008, and it’s still a little below shoulder length. I’m used to having very long hair, but my hair is prone to damage and split ends, and tangles, and is also very thin. Getting half of it chopped off has helped immensely. It looks much healthier.

40. Do you have a crush on someone?: Nah.

41. What do you like about yourself: Hm. I’m kind, thoughtful, generally try to be helpful, tactful, reasonably intelligent, and musically talented.

42. Piercings: None. Not really a fan of them, tbh. I think I’d look good with a monroe or madonna piercing, but it would irritate my gums too much. 

43. Blood type: A negative.

44: Nicknames: Sabs is the only one I get even remotely regularly anymore.

45. Relationship status: Happily taken.

46. Zodiac: Cancer / Horse.

47. Pronouns: She/her, I guess. I probably wouldn’t really care about any of them, tbh.

48. Favorite TV show(s): Hm. Community, Brooklyn Nine-Nine, Parks and Rec, maybe The Goldbergs, Steven Universe, Gravity Falls... There’s probably more. I’m not even going to include anime, because that list is way longer.

49. Tattoos: I currently have one on my left wrist. I think I’d like to get full sleeves eventually. I’m still planning out some of the designs. Also, you know, tattoos are expensive.

50. Right or left hand: Right. 

51. Surgery: I’ve had x-rays, ultrasounds, dental work, but never a surgery. I’d like to keep it that way, but something tells me my dentist is going to harp on me about not getting my wisdom teeth removed.

52. Hair dyed a different color: I’ve been dyeing my hair since I was 11. I guarantee there are some people who’ve never seen my natural hair color.

53. Sports: I am Bad At Those.

54. Vacation: I’ve only ever been on a couple in my life (California to visit my aunt when I was 13, St. Louis in high school for the band/choir trip. Chicago every once in a while to visit friends, but I don’t know if I’d call that a vacation, per se). I’d love to go a TON of places.

55. Shoes: I’ve mostly been wearing flip flops lately, flats if I need to be dressy. But that’s because it’s hot and humid right now. Ohio air is like soup. It’s the worst. I prefer boots of all types, and some tennis shoes/sneakers.

56. Eating: I’m about to go make a leftover taco or two. I want to go get something somewhere, but... financial responsibility. *sigh*

57. Drinking: I had some juice earlier. Will probably have more, or water.

58. I’m about to: Go make those tacos I was talking about.

59. Waiting for: Things to finally start moving in the right direction.

60. Want: To win the lottery. It would fix 90% of my problems. Also, to find out what’s wrong with me, but the doctors’ appointments and lab work should solve that.

61. Get married: I’d like to eventually, but I’m in no particular rush. I got engaged once before, and it ended horrifically. I mean, I’ve certainly got high hopes for this one, but I, again, am in no particular rush.

62. Career: I do some freelance editing currently, but it’s not enough to pay the bills. I’d like to get into full-time editing, web development (which I’m currently learning how to do), or, ideally, being a full-time Twitch streamer would really suit me, but I like streaming just because. I would just like to do it more often.

WHICH IS BETTER:

63. Hugs or kisses: Hugs.

64. Lips or eyes: Eyes.

65. Shorter or taller: Taller, I guess? It really doesn’t matter to me either way.

66. Older or younger: Doesn’t matter, within reason.

67. Nice arms or nice stomach: Arms, maybe. Don’t super care about either.

68. Sensitive or loud: Sensitive, I guess.

69. Hook up or relationship: Relationship.

70. Troublemaker or hesitant: Hesitant. I’d rather not have to deal with cops, if at all possible.

HAVE YOU EVER:

71. Kissed a stranger: Once, that I recall.

72. Drank hard liquor: Yup. I don’t drink as much these days, but it’s still fun from time to time.

73. Lost glasses/contact lenses: I lose my glasses all the damn time. Accidentally left them at my parents’ house the last time I was over, so I’m gonna have to go get those back soon.

74. Turned someone down: Yeah.

75. Sex on first date: It has happened.

76. Broken someone’s heart: Yeah.

77. Had your heart broken: Yes.

78. Been arrested: No.

79. Cried when someone died: Very much so, even seven years later.

80. Fallen for a friend: I mean, that’s usually the case. I don’t tend to date people if I’m not already friends with them first. 

DO YOU BELIEVE IN:

81. Yourself: That answer changes from day to day. It’s better than it used to be.

82. Miracles: Maybe? I’m not entirely sure. I don’t know the exact definition of what constitutes a miracle.

83. Love at first sight: I think people can have Interest at First Sight, or, like, I Think I’m Compatible with This Person Probably at First Sight, but true, actual, lasting love? No. That develops over time and requires work to sustain.

84. Santa Claus: St. Nicholas was absolutely a real person.

85. Kiss on the first date: Again, it has happened.

OTHER:

86. Current best friend: I have several. I know that defeats the purpose of a “best friend,” but I consider most of my close friends family at this point. I suppose I’d have to say DJ, in that case.

87. Eye color: Light grayish-blue. Some days it looks more one color than the other. Depends on what I’m wearing.

88. Favorite movie: Well, the only three movies I’m generally able to watch multiple times (and have) are Scott Pilgrim, The Nightmare Before Christmas, and Repo! The Genetic Opera. I’ve also seen all the Harry Potter movies several times. There are a ton of movies I’ve enjoyed, though. I just usually don’t have the attention span to watch them.

tagging: @theifbaby @patillojack @gordona424 @octoberspirit @legendxofxzach Uh...I don’t know if I can think of 15 more. I’ll tag @nwinchester94 too, even though I haven’t heard from her in a long time. :(

[scholarstudy]

92 questions tag

thank you so much for tagging me z! sorry it took me a few days to get to this, 92 is a lot of questions!

LAST:

1. Drink: milk! calcium is so important to drink when you’re young so that you’ll have strong bones when you get old! 2. Phone call: yesterday with my dad (to pick me up from a party haha) 3. Text message: “we need to figure out when we’re doing that” 4. Song you listened to: the good part by ajr (FAV SONG RN WOULD RECCOMEND) 5. Time you cried: two nights ago bc my one of my best friends looked hella pretty in a streaks picture and yeah

HAVE YOU: 6. Dated someone twice: no 7. Kissed someone and regretted it: nope 8. Been cheated on: no 9. Lost someone special: no 10. Been depressed: no (i’m v lucky to have never experienced this and i know a lot of you struggle with it. i’m always here for you if you need to talk :)) 11. Gotten drunk and thrown up: no

LIST 3 FAVORITE COLORS: 12-14: gold, rose gold, and blue

IN THE LAST YEAR HAVE YOU: 15. Made new friends: hell yeah in the last year i’ve moved across the country 16. Fallen out of love: yes 17. Laughed until you cried: yes 18. Found out someone was talking about you: yes 19. Met someone who changed you: no 20. Found out who your friends are: yes 21. Kissed someone on your Facebook list: i’m not a grandma i don’t have faebook

GENERAL: 22. How many of your Facebook friends do you know in real life: same as 21 23. Do you have any pets: i don’t have a pet but i do have two siblings 24. Do you want to change your name: i’ve never loved naomi but it’s a part of who i am so i wouldn’t change it 25. What did you do for your last Birthday: picked up my best friend since fourth grade from the airport bc she flew from indiana to florida to see me! 26. What time did you wake up: today? 8:07 27. What were you doing at midnight last night: sleeping aye 28. Name something you can’t wait for: back to school shopping 29. When was the last time you saw your mom: she’s currently in the same room as me 30. What is one thing you wish you could change in your life: i wish my dad didn’t have all the health issues that he does 31. What are you listening to right now: the shark tank theme  32. Have you ever talked to a person named Tom: no 33. Something that is getting on your nerves: things are so expensive? 34. Most visited websites: youtube, tumblr, flvs

RANDOM INFO ABOUT ME 35. Mole/s: everywhere 36. Mark/s: i have one on my right ribcage 37. Childhood dream: i wanted to be a doctor (and i still do) 38. Hair color: brown 39. Long or short hair: its really long, about ¾ down my back 40. Do you have a crush on someone: eh 41. What do you like about yourself: a lot of people tell me that i’m the nicest person they know 42. Piercings: just a basic ear peircing 43. Blood type: i have no clue 44. Nickname: nay 45. Relationship status: single 46. Zodiac: gemini 47. Pronouns: she/her 48. Favorite TV Show: riverdaleeeeeeeeee 49. Tattoos: no 50. Right or left hand: right 51. Surgery: those tube things for my ears 52. Hair dyed in different color: no 55. Vacation: i live 5 minutes from the beach whoops so i usually have a staycation 56. Pair of trainers: lmao i have a pair of running shoes but haven't worn them in a year and a half

MORE GENERAL: 57. Eating: i'm eating chipotle rn 58. Drinking: water is pretty cool 59. I’m about to: go to youth group 61. Waiting for: school to start 62. Want: a new phone bc mine is broken and won't charge yayyyyy 63. Get married: yepperoo 64. Career: i babysit but i want to go to med school and be a family physician

WHICH IS BETTER

65. Hugs or kisses: hugs 66. Lips or eyes: eyes 67. Shorter or taller: taller 68. Older or younger: older 70. Nice arms or nice stomach: nice arms 71. Sensitive or loud: no preference 72. Hook up or relationship: relationship 73. Troublemaker or hesitant: hesitant

HAVE YOU EVER: 74. Kissed a Stranger: no 75. Drank hard liquor: no 76. Lost glasses/contact lenses: ahahaha i lost my glasses in the ocean on my brithday 77. Turned someone down: yes 78. Sex on the first date: no 79. Broken someone’s heart: i don’t think so? 80. Had your heart broken: no 81. Been arrested: no 82. Cried when someone died: no which is really weird actually 83. Fallen for a friend: once

DO YOU BELIEVE IN: 84. Yourself: yes, finally 85. Miracles: maybe 86. Love at first sight: no 87. Santa Claus: no 88. Kiss on the first date: is you want

OTHER: 90. Current best friend name: emilie 91. Eye color: green 92. Favorite movie: remember the titans

if they haven’t already done it, i tag: @academla  @typicalstudyblr  @peepstudies @meg-is-studying @nerdinaomi @lentilstudies

[champagnelarrie]

Rules: Once you have been tagged you are supposed to write 92 truths about yourself. At the end, choose 25 people to tag! 
I was tagged by @idmarryyoularrys <3

LAST [1] drink: water lol. so exciting. (tryna get rid of my under eye bags)

[2] phone call: my dad

[3] text message: my groupchat about louis’ recent IG post

[4] song you listened to: Wow - Beck

[5] time you cried: i don’t actually know...it’s been a while


[6] dated someone twice: idk what this means but i’ve always been single

[7] been cheated on: single af

[8] kissed someone and regretted it:  never been kissed 

[9] lost someone special: a couple years ago

[10] been depressed: now lol . not clinically. i’ve never been diagnosed, but sometimes you just have one of those days. (for me, multiple days)

[11] gotten drunk and thrown up: never.


LIST 3 FAVOURITE COLOURS:

[12] dark green

[13] golden yellow

[14] burnt orange


IN THE LAST YEAR HAVE YOU…


[15] made new friends: yes.  just made some new friends :)

[16] fallen out of love: never been in love unless u count 1D lmao

[17] laughed until you cried: probably

[18] found out someone was talking about you:  yup. i but it’s ppl i dont even know so who gives a fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck

[19] met someone who changed you: idk. not really.

[20] found out who your true friends are: yes and no :/ . i’ve never had a solid friendship that lasts or have had friends who give as much of a fuck as i do... :/

[21] kissed someone on your facebook list: no wtf. who even uses FB anymore?

[22] how many of your facebook friends do you know in real life: most but i don’t talk to any of them anymore. i hate them all lol. 

[23] do you have any pets: no but i want one so bad!!!!!

[24] do you want to change your name: Just the spelling so ppl pronounce it correctly lol. 

[25] what did you do for your last birthday: I went to Universal Studios!!!!! (And Disneyland the next day :D)

[26] what time did you wake up: 8:45 ish but didn’t get out of bed till like 10

[27] what were you doing at midnight last night: lol...SAT practice

[28] name something you cannot wait for:  LOUIS’ MUSIC!!!!, Trevor Noah in November, and to have a job so i can finally have money

[29] when was the last time you saw your mother: yesterday

[30] what is one thing you wish you could change about your life: dude idk...so many things need changing.... better friends, more money, non crazy parents, i need to gain some more weight

[31] what are you listening to right now: Carolina - Harry Styles

[32] have you ever talked to a person named tom: I know a Thomas? e goes by Tommy...does that count?

[33] something that is getting on your nerves: GIRL if you know me, EVERYTHING gets on my nerves lmao

[34] most visited website: tumblr, ao3 and youtube

[35] elementary: a fucking nightmare

[36] high school: :/ it’s SO STRESSFUL. 

[37] college: not there yet...but soon....

[38] hair colour: really dark brown

[39] long or short hair: medium to long. It reaches down to my boobies

[40] do you have a crush on someone: yup! but we never see each other bc they go to a different school 

[41] what do you like about yourself?: i’m passionate about important issues

[42] piercings: yup. ears and nostril. i use to have a septum but when i wanted to replace the ring, a keloid which i didn’t realize was there, covered the hole :(

[43] blood type: no idea

[44] nickname: Mani

[45] relationship status: single pringle.

[46] zodiac sign: saggitarius

[47] pronouns: she/her

[48] fav tv show(s): the magicians, HTGAWM, stranger things, At Midnight, the Fosters, Chelsea, AHS, Parks and Rec, Shameless

[49] tattoos: one day....I want so many...but so expensive...

[50] right or left handed: right


FIRST… 
[51] surgery: never had one

[52] piercing: ears when i was a baby

[53] best friend: kindergarten

[54] sport: volleyball

[55] vacation: India lmao

[56] pair of trainers: girl how am I suppose to know??? ask my parents lol

[57] eating: these questions are getting dumb now

[58] drinking: breast milk????

[59] i’m about to: shower

[60] listening to: AGAIN?! Ticket to the Moon - Electric Light Orchestra

[61] waiting for: A JOB. 

[62] want: more money, less anxiety

[63] get married: sure one day

[64] career: something with Environmental Science.. I love animals so something that combines the two?


YOUR TYPE…

[65] hugs or kisses: hugs

[66] lips or eyes: eyes

[67] shorter or taller: i’m 5′3 so most ppl are taller than me anyways lol

[68] older or younger: idk??? most ppl are my age or older

[69] romantic or spontaneous: both

[70] nice arms or nice stomach: i love many kinds of body types... don’t need to be super buff to be hot :)

[71] sensitive or loud: what does that even mean?

[72] hook up or relationship: idk never tried either 

[73] troublemaker or hesitant: this is a dumb question


HAVE YOU EVER…


[74] kissed a stranger?: no

[75] drank hard liquor?: i’ve had wine and beer so no lol

[76] lost glasses/contact lenses?: nope 

[77] turned someone down: kind of??? does blocking ppl count lmao

[78] sex on first date?: can’t relate

[79] broken someone’s heart?:  idk 

[80] had your own heart broken?: lol nah

[81] been arrested? Nah

[82] cried when someone died? no one i knew personally has died so i’ve never cried over anyone

[83] fallen for a friend: umm..i don’t think so...


DO YOU BELIEVE IN…


[84] yourself?: LOL NAH. 

[85] miracles?:  i guess

[86] love at first sight?: um...maybe?

[87] santa claus? i’m not Christian..lmao...miss me with that shit

[88] kiss on the first date?: yeah sure why not

[89] angels?: nope

[90] current best friend’s name: :/

[91] eye colour: brown

[92] favourite movies: love Disney movies...Monsters Inc.

now I gotta tag hella (25 ppl )....

@rbbsbbofficial @letsnotlarry @kiwisinnewyork @stardustsoulmates @competitivelou @fellforlou @lovenchy @scrantonlou @what-happened-in-wellington @homeisharry @larryslove @lavenderlouie @hunkyniall @louisbravado @louisfeaturingharry @twaslouis @louis-love @ohnoliam @mylittlebirdlouis  @sweetkiwi28 @louisinawetsuit @alwaysalarrie @proudlylarrie @peachbootylouis @moonlitlarrie

omg it took so long to tag all of yall so you better do it lmao

[jeanmoreaux]

tagged by -  the  wonderful @strawars​♡ rules - answer these 85 statements and tag 20 people tagging - everyone who wants to do this! (consider yourself tagged XD)

the last

1. drink: coca cola zero 2. phone call: my mom 3. text message: a group chat with my best friends 4. song you listened to: grave digger - matt maeson ((check it out, it’s a great song!)) 5. time you cried: a few months ago, i can’t remember tbh 6. dated someone twice: no 7. kissed someone and regretted it: i didn’t regret it but i wasn’t happy about it either... so maybe a yes? maybe a no? idk 8. been cheated on: no 9. lost someone special: yes 10. been depressed: uhm, not diagnosed, no 11. gotten drunk and thrown up: couple of times, last time 2 months ago

3 favourite colors 12. basically any shade of green 13. blood red 14. most pastels

in the last year have you 15. made new friends: yes! 16. fallen out of love: nope 17. laughed until you cried: hundreds of times 18. found out someone was talking about you: yes 19. met someone who changed you: not that i know of 20. found out who your friends are: i already knew that 21. kissed someone on your facebook list: nope, since i don’t have facebook

general 22. how many of your facebook friends do you know in real life: still no facebook 23. do you have any pets: nope :( 24. do you want to change your name: i like my name, so no 25. what did you do for your last birthday: i was a leader in summer camp so i was just busy looking after small children with no sense of consequences 26. what time did you wake up: 9:39 am 27. what were you doing at midnight last night: reading “The Tenant of Windfell Hall” by Anne Brontë 28. name something you can’t wait for: starting uni 29. when was the last time you saw your mom: i’m sitting right next to her right now, we are watching tv 31. what are you listening to right now: Cringe - Matt Maeson (i am in love with this guys music atm) 32. have you ever talked to a person named tom: my cousins name is tom :) so yeah 33. something that is getting on your nerves: many different people for many different reasons 34. most visited website: tumblr or youtube 35. hair colour: idk tbh, it has 3 different colours right now since i want to go back to my natural hair colour (dark blond) 36. long or short hair: long 37. do you have a crush on someone: kind of, yeah but it’s complicated 38. what do you like about yourself: my eyes and my ability to read people 39. want any piercings: yeah, but i already have a few and they were hella expensive 40. blood type: 0+ 41. nickname: mish, elle, mimi 42. relationship status: single (not a surprise tbh) 43. zodiac: cancer 44. pronouns: she/her 45. favourite tv show: b99, got, parks and rec 46. tattoos: i desperately want one but i have no money 47. right or left handed: right 48. surgery: not a single one so far 49. piercing: yes, several but just on my ears 50. sport: i do zumba and yoga sometimes, but nothing serious 51. vacation: i took some city trips to Hamburg, Cologne, Kopenhagen (twice), Stockholm, Göteborg, Linköping, Malmö, Oslo 52. pair of trainers: 2

more general 53. eating: nothing 54. drinking: water 55. i’m about to: work on some edits 56. waiting for: tomorrow night bc my best friends and i will crash a party at our old school XD 57. want: to not feel so tired all the freaking time 58. get married: maybe 59. career: something with books or literature or writing

which is better 60. hugs or kisses: hugs 61. lips or eyes: eyes 62. shorter or taller: taller 63. older or younger: younger 64. nice arms or nice stomach: stomach 65. hook up or relationship: relationship 66. troublemaker or hesitant: troublemaker

have you ever 67. kissed a stranger: yes 68. drank hard liquor: when do i not drink hard liquor XD 69. lost glasses/contact lenses: contacts, yes 70. turned someone down: nope bc no one wants me 71. sex on the first date: no 72. broken someone’s heart: don’t think so bc no one wants me 73. had your heart broken: yeah 74. been arrested: nearly 75. cried when someone died: yes 76. fallen for a friend: yes

do you believe in 77. yourself: depends 78. miracles: no 79. love at first sight: no 80. santa claus: ofc 81. kiss on the first date: yes 82. angels: i want to

other 83. current best friend’s name: a few, i can’t decide tbh 84. eye colour: bluish-green 85. favorite movie: probably Forrest Gump or Inception

[damonbation]

The Sweet Spot

“Success can get you to the top of a beautiful cliff,

but then propel you right over the edge of it.”

As a Mustachian, there’s a good chance that you are a bit of an overachiever. 

Maybe you fought hard to get exceptional grades in school, or perhaps you have always dominated in your career or your Ultramarathon habit or your hobbies – or maybe all of the above. 

In the big picture, this usually leads to having a “successful” life, because of this basic math:

Traditional Success  = How much work you do x How much society happens to value your work

The Nitty Gritty of Traditional Success

Now, lest the Internet Privilege Police head straight to Twitter to start writing out citations, Traditional Success is not a measure of your worthiness as a human being. We’re just talking about the old-fashioned, Smiling 1950s Man definition of success.

 And since we’re all scientists here, we could break the “Work” side of it down a bit further:

And thus, you could say that on average, doing more stuff produces more traditional success. 

But then what?

This is the point where a lot of  smart, driven, born-lucky people drive themselves up the Winding Road of Challenge and then right off the edge of the Cliff of Success. 

If you’re still on the way up, or stuck at the bottom, it is difficult to even imagine the idea of “too much success”. But it’s a real thing, and it happens much more quickly than the modern overachiever would like to admit. Observe the following cautionary tale:

Diana is the director of engineering in a Silicon Valley tech startup. The work is intense, but they are almost over the hump – the company went public last month, and she owns shares that are worth over $10 million at today’s share price. They will vest over the next five years, so she just needs to grind this out and then she will be set for life.

Sounds great, right?

Except this is Diana’s third smashing success. She was already set for life after the second company was acquired, and even before that, her first decade as a rising star at a large company had already left her with over $2 million of investments and a paid-off house in hella expensive Cupertino, California. She had more than enough to retire, twenty years ago!

To many people who are less fortunate, the present situation would still sound like great fortune, and in some ways, it is. Becoming a Director of Engineering is (usually) far better than a punch in the face.

But Diana is now 52 years old, with a collection of increasingly severe back and neck problems and a few medical prescriptions piling up. She has two grown children in their twenties, but wishes she had been able to spend more time with them as they grew up. She has all the money in the world, but still almost no free time, and this next five years is starting to look like an eternity.

What happened here?

Diana is in good company, because many of our hardest-working people fall into this same trap. They have the talent and the great work habits figured out, but they are still missing one last concept – the idea of the sweet spot.

Fig. 1: What is the ideal length of a high-end career?

Diana could have stopped after the first company, or the second, but her career success took on a momentum of its own, so she kept doubling down without stopping to consider why she was doing it – and what she was giving up in exchange.

Once you learn to see the phenomenon of the sweet spot, you will start noticing it everywhere. And it is an amazingly useful thing to start watching and fine-tuning to get the most out of your own life.

Fig.2: What is the ideal amount of Anything?

The Sweet Spot of Physical Training When a non-runner starts running, they will see immediate benefits. In the process of going from being unable to jog across a parking lot, to being able to easily jog a brisk mile, your entire body will transform for the better. Muscles and bones get stronger, heart and lungs expand and reach out to give your body a healthy embrace, brain functioning and mood and hormones smooth out and normalize. 

Training your way up to become a two mile runner still brings great benefits – just slightly smaller. The fifth through twentieth mile turn you into a hyper efficient machine, but some people start seeing joint injuries as they rise through the ranks.

And by the time you reach the fringe world of 100-mile runners, serious injuries and surgeries are completely normal – as well as unexpected organ failures in otherwise young, healthy people. The sweet spot for daily running for maximum health is somewhere the middle.

All around us, seemingly unrelated things follow this same pattern, from career work to physical exertion to parenting strategy.

Fame and Fortune – be careful what you wish for

Fame definitely has a sweet spot. Building up a good reputation in your community can open the door to better friendships, jobs, relationships, and more fun in general.

But as that reputation expands outwards to become fame, you get the “reward” of constant coverage in gossip magazines and waking up to find photographers and news reporters on your front lawn. At the extreme end, you need to mobilize a team of armored vehicles and line your route with snipers every time you leave your well-guarded compound.

Even money, our humble and ever-willing servant is subject to this phenomenon. It certainly helps us meet our basic needs, but there is a certain point at which Mo Money can become Mo Problems. 

The first bit of monetary surplus can be fun as you can afford a nice house and good food. Then the next chunk seems fun but also causes distractions as you rack up second and third houses and ever-more elaborate possessions and vacations that take a lot of energy to keep track of.

And from there it goes downhill as tabloids start keeping track of your wealth and scrutinizing your choices, hundreds of people mail in pleas for your generosity, and you end up with a full-time job just making sure that the surplus goes to good use. This life arrangement can still be enjoyable for some people, but I would definitely not wish it upon myself.

On and on this pattern goes. A curve with a sweet spot in the middle. The optimal amount of calories to consume in a day. The volume at which you will enjoy your music most. The right brightness of light to illuminate a room. The number of friends with whom you can have a meaningful relationship.

 Why does it occur in so many places? I believe it is because this is how our brains are wired in the first place. 

Humans are a ridiculously adaptable creature, but we do still come with limits.

And when you respect those limits and fine-tune your life within the sweet spot for all of the main pillars for happy living, you end up with the best possible chance at living a happy, prosperous life.

A Mid-Roll Advertisement:

Interest rates are still at WTF-low levels, so if you haven’t already done so, I recommend checking your current home mortgage and student loan rates. Either at your local credit union, or online via a service like Credible.

Click Here to open that up in a new tab, and keep reading.

The Curse Of the Overachievers – Revisited

So now you see the problem – overachievers like us tend to get really good at a few things like a career or an athletic pursuit often specializing so much that we neglect other things like overall health or personal relationships.

And our society notices and rewards us for the success, which just reinforces the behavior, so we take things to even higher extremes, often without stopping to think about the reason behind it.

Okay, So What Now?

Once you see the pattern of the sweet spot,  it is impossible to un-see it. So it becomes pretty easy to float up and look at your entire life from above, like an outside observer.

And from up there, you can see the areas where you have enough, and places where you may have already gone overboard, and the corresponding things that you have left neglected as the price of that success. 

Over the past year I’ve been looking at my own life from this perspective, coming up with quite a few of my own diagnoses:

Money: enough. Additional windfalls don’t seem to bring me any lasting joy, but I also don’t have so much money that it makes me nervous. It’s enough to feel safe and empowered, and that’s all I need. Meanwhile, giving away money has brought me lasting happiness, without creating a feeling of shortage or regret.

Career Success (blog): It Varies. When I was really working on this MMM job in the mid-2010s, it started to take over too much of my life. Emails, opportunities, travel and public attention all reached levels where I actually started to have less fun. So I tried dialing it back, as any long-term readers will have noticed. And sure enough, life improved. But then I went too far and started feeling a loss from letting this valued hobby slip away. I’ve been trying to get back into the groove, which revealed another problem – detailed at the end of this list.

Friendships: Not Enough. I have found myself not being able to keep up with close friends, and had difficulty making or keeping plans, partly out of  feeling overwhelmed with life details in general. Still, the opportunities abound here in my local community, and the people are wonderful. So I have the opportunity to keep working at this.

Health and Fitness: Enough. Since I was about fourteen years old, eating well and getting a lot of varied exercise has always been a kind of non-negotiable pillar for me. Nothing extreme, but just very consistent. I think this has been paying off as I feel healthy every day and have never had any physical or health problems in these 30+ years since.

Parenting and Kids: Enough (an A+!) Since 2005 I made “being a Dad” my primary goal in life, quitting my career to do so. It’s the only thing I can truly say I have done the best I could at, and I’m really proud of that. But part of this success came from only having one kid – both of us parents knew we couldn’t handle any more, given the overall conditions of life back then. So for us, the sweet spot was One Child – and absolutely no regrets in that department.

Personal Projects and Daily Habits: Not Enough. I get great satisfaction from working on challenging things and making progress. But far too often, I just can’t get it together and I squander entire days on accidental distractions. Planning to go out for a day of work can lead to searching for lost sunglasses which can lead to finding a lost to-do list which can lead to opening the computer to look something up and several hours disappearing. On and on these tangents can go, often leading to me not getting my primary, happiness-creating goals for the day accomplished. 

I discovered that I have a pretty severe and textbook case of Adult Attention Deficit Disorder, which gets magnified if there are any sources of stress in my life. So I’m working on that (keeping stress down and also targeting habits, diet, exercise and even trying some medication), which will hopefully improve all other areas of life as well.

What am I missing? I’m still working on thinking it all through, so this list will surely grow.

Your Turn

Your life surely has a completely different array of surpluses, shortages and sweet spots than mine. Your assignment is therefore to write them all out tonight, and see where you stand in each area, and decide what to change. Many of the changes are quite easy to make, and yet the results are nothing short of life-changing.

In the comments: what are your own areas of surplus and shortage? And what’s your plan to help restore balance to your life?

from Money 101 https://www.mrmoneymustache.com/2020/08/04/the-sweet-spot/ via http://www.rssmix.com/

[andrewdburton]

The Sweet Spot

“Success can get you to the top of a beautiful cliff,

but then propel you right over the edge of it.”

As a Mustachian, there’s a good chance that you are a bit of an overachiever. 

Maybe you fought hard to get exceptional grades in school, or perhaps you have always dominated in your career or your Ultramarathon habit or your hobbies – or maybe all of the above. 

In the big picture, this usually leads to having a “successful” life, because of this basic math:

Traditional Success  = How much work you do x How much society happens to value your work

The Nitty Gritty of Traditional Success

Now, lest the Internet Privilege Police head straight to Twitter to start writing out citations, Traditional Success is not a measure of your worthiness as a human being. We’re just talking about the old-fashioned, Smiling 1950s Man definition of success.

 And since we’re all scientists here, we could break the “Work” side of it down a bit further:

And thus, you could say that on average, doing more stuff produces more traditional success. 

But then what?

This is the point where a lot of  smart, driven, born-lucky people drive themselves up the Winding Road of Challenge and then right off the edge of the Cliff of Success. 

If you’re still on the way up, or stuck at the bottom, it is difficult to even imagine the idea of “too much success”. But it’s a real thing, and it happens much more quickly than the modern overachiever would like to admit. Observe the following cautionary tale:

Diana is the director of engineering in a Silicon Valley tech startup. The work is intense, but they are almost over the hump – the company went public last month, and she owns shares that are worth over $10 million at today’s share price. They will vest over the next five years, so she just needs to grind this out and then she will be set for life.

Sounds great, right?

Except this is Diana’s third smashing success. She was already set for life after the second company was acquired, and even before that, her first decade as a rising star at a large company had already left her with over $2 million of investments and a paid-off house in hella expensive Cupertino, California. She had more than enough to retire, twenty years ago!

To many people who are less fortunate, the present situation would still sound like great fortune, and in some ways, it is. Becoming a Director of Engineering is (usually) far better than a punch in the face.

But Diana is now 52 years old, with a collection of increasingly severe back and neck problems and a few medical prescriptions piling up. She has two grown children in their twenties, but wishes she had been able to spend more time with them as they grew up. She has all the money in the world, but still almost no free time, and this next five years is starting to look like an eternity.

What happened here?

Diana is in good company, because many of our hardest-working people fall into this same trap. They have the talent and the great work habits figured out, but they are still missing one last concept – the idea of the sweet spot.

Fig. 1: What is the ideal length of a high-end career?

Diana could have stopped after the first company, or the second, but her career success took on a momentum of its own, so she kept doubling down without stopping to consider why she was doing it – and what she was giving up in exchange.

Once you learn to see the phenomenon of the sweet spot, you will start noticing it everywhere. And it is an amazingly useful thing to start watching and fine-tuning to get the most out of your own life.

Fig.2: What is the ideal amount of Anything?

The Sweet Spot of Physical Training When a non-runner starts running, they will see immediate benefits. In the process of going from being unable to jog across a parking lot, to being able to easily jog a brisk mile, your entire body will transform for the better. Muscles and bones get stronger, heart and lungs expand and reach out to give your body a healthy embrace, brain functioning and mood and hormones smooth out and normalize. 

Training your way up to become a two mile runner still brings great benefits – just slightly smaller. The fifth through twentieth mile turn you into a hyper efficient machine, but some people start seeing joint injuries as they rise through the ranks.

And by the time you reach the fringe world of 100-mile runners, serious injuries and surgeries are completely normal – as well as unexpected organ failures in otherwise young, healthy people. The sweet spot for daily running for maximum health is somewhere the middle.

All around us, seemingly unrelated things follow this same pattern, from career work to physical exertion to parenting strategy.

Fame and Fortune – be careful what you wish for

Fame definitely has a sweet spot. Building up a good reputation in your community can open the door to better friendships, jobs, relationships, and more fun in general.

But as that reputation expands outwards to become fame, you get the “reward” of constant coverage in gossip magazines and waking up to find photographers and news reporters on your front lawn. At the extreme end, you need to mobilize a team of armored vehicles and line your route with snipers every time you leave your well-guarded compound.

Even money, our humble and ever-willing servant is subject to this phenomenon. It certainly helps us meet our basic needs, but there is a certain point at which Mo Money can become Mo Problems. 

The first bit of monetary surplus can be fun as you can afford a nice house and good food. Then the next chunk seems fun but also causes distractions as you rack up second and third houses and ever-more elaborate possessions and vacations that take a lot of energy to keep track of.

And from there it goes downhill as tabloids start keeping track of your wealth and scrutinizing your choices, hundreds of people mail in pleas for your generosity, and you end up with a full-time job just making sure that the surplus goes to good use. This life arrangement can still be enjoyable for some people, but I would definitely not wish it upon myself.

On and on this pattern goes. A curve with a sweet spot in the middle. The optimal amount of calories to consume in a day. The volume at which you will enjoy your music most. The right brightness of light to illuminate a room. The number of friends with whom you can have a meaningful relationship.

 Why does it occur in so many places? I believe it is because this is how our brains are wired in the first place. 

Humans are a ridiculously adaptable creature, but we do still come with limits.

And when you respect those limits and fine-tune your life within the sweet spot for all of the main pillars for happy living, you end up with the best possible chance at living a happy, prosperous life.

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The Curse Of the Overachievers – Revisited

So now you see the problem – overachievers like us tend to get really good at a few things like a career or an athletic pursuit often specializing so much that we neglect other things like overall health or personal relationships.

And our society notices and rewards us for the success, which just reinforces the behavior, so we take things to even higher extremes, often without stopping to think about the reason behind it.

Okay, So What Now?

Once you see the pattern of the sweet spot,  it is impossible to un-see it. So it becomes pretty easy to float up and look at your entire life from above, like an outside observer.

And from up there, you can see the areas where you have enough, and places where you may have already gone overboard, and the corresponding things that you have left neglected as the price of that success. 

Over the past year I’ve been looking at my own life from this perspective, coming up with quite a few of my own diagnoses:

Money: enough. Additional windfalls don’t seem to bring me any lasting joy, but I also don’t have so much money that it makes me nervous. It’s enough to feel safe and empowered, and that’s all I need. Meanwhile, giving away money has brought me lasting happiness, without creating a feeling of shortage or regret.

Career Success (blog): It Varies. When I was really working on this MMM job in the mid-2010s, it started to take over too much of my life. Emails, opportunities, travel and public attention all reached levels where I actually started to have less fun. So I tried dialing it back, as any long-term readers will have noticed. And sure enough, life improved. But then I went too far and started feeling a loss from letting this valued hobby slip away. I’ve been trying to get back into the groove, which revealed another problem – detailed at the end of this list.

Friendships: Not Enough. I have found myself not being able to keep up with close friends, and had difficulty making or keeping plans, partly out of  feeling overwhelmed with life details in general. Still, the opportunities abound here in my local community, and the people are wonderful. So I have the opportunity to keep working at this.

Health and Fitness: Enough. Since I was about fourteen years old, eating well and getting a lot of varied exercise has always been a kind of non-negotiable pillar for me. Nothing extreme, but just very consistent. I think this has been paying off as I feel healthy every day and have never had any physical or health problems in these 30+ years since.

Parenting and Kids: Enough (an A+!) Since 2005 I made “being a Dad” my primary goal in life, quitting my career to do so. It’s the only thing I can truly say I have done the best I could at, and I’m really proud of that. But part of this success came from only having one kid – both of us parents knew we couldn’t handle any more, given the overall conditions of life back then. So for us, the sweet spot was One Child – and absolutely no regrets in that department.

Personal Projects and Daily Habits: Not Enough. I get great satisfaction from working on challenging things and making progress. But far too often, I just can’t get it together and I squander entire days on accidental distractions. Planning to go out for a day of work can lead to searching for lost sunglasses which can lead to finding a lost to-do list which can lead to opening the computer to look something up and several hours disappearing. On and on these tangents can go, often leading to me not getting my primary, happiness-creating goals for the day accomplished. 

I discovered that I have a pretty severe and textbook case of Adult Attention Deficit Disorder, which gets magnified if there are any sources of stress in my life. So I’m working on that (keeping stress down and also targeting habits, diet, exercise and even trying some medication), which will hopefully improve all other areas of life as well.

What am I missing? I’m still working on thinking it all through, so this list will surely grow.

Your Turn

Your life surely has a completely different array of surpluses, shortages and sweet spots than mine. Your assignment is therefore to write them all out tonight, and see where you stand in each area, and decide what to change. Many of the changes are quite easy to make, and yet the results are nothing short of life-changing.

In the comments: what are your own areas of surplus and shortage? And what’s your plan to help restore balance to your life?

from Finance https://www.mrmoneymustache.com/2020/08/04/the-sweet-spot/ via http://www.rssmix.com/

[yuriyuu]

5, 9, 14 👀

5) Piercings i have: Have my septum pierced, and 2 lip piercings on the left side of my lip. ^^ I have plans for many more tho.

9) Tattoos i want: god I want so many. The biggest piece I want is a super subtle asexual pride tattoo. Like I generally hate most pride tattoos bc they are so obvious and in your face and bleh, but asexuality is a really huge part of my identity so I want a tattoo of it. So like, I want a giant thigh and hip piece of dragon scales in the color the ace flag, but like I want them colored and blended so they look organic like real scales and less like the ace flag. And like I kinda want it to look like my flesh being ripped away and revealing the dragon scales underneath? Yeah :D Gonna be hella expensive tho and i’m super picky about my artist. 

Another tattoo I want is the lyrics “Angels Fuck, Devils Kiss” on my lower back bc i am actually kind of a trashy person. But it’s one of my fave songs from one of my fave bands i’ve listened to since childhood so :3c 

I eventually want my a sleeve on my entire right arm, idk what. I also want my a chest piece, again Idk what. Also want a rib cage tattoo, again idk what. I plan to have the tattoo on my foot covered up into koi fish, but i’m doing that with my sister and she’s taking forever to commit and i’m slowly dying bc I have an ugly regret tattoo on my foot. 

I also kinda want corset lacing tattooed on my back bc while I loooove corset piercings, they are highly, highly impractical and not at all permanent, so I get the best next thing and tattoo corset lacing to my back lmfao. 

yeah sorry for the essay I fucking love tattoos. I tend to gravitate more toward darker and desaturated tattoos with heavy use of black on them. I really love things like bones and torn flesh and antlers and bio-mech stuff and such. 

14) Piercings i want: Ugh so many. I think my next piercing will be a microdermal underneath my eye, and then I want a second smaller one next to it. It would kinda mimic the anti-eyebrow piercing, and tbh i’ve been debating between microdermals or anti-eyebrow.

I really wanna stretch my ears out and pierce my cartilage and get an industrial in the other ear. I want the other side of my lip pierced, I want my a bridge piercing but I wear glasses so idk how that would work out haha. I want random holes in my ear lobes aside from the stretched ears so I can put little studs in. I kinda wanna get cheek/dimple piercings too. 

As for body piercings, I really want my collar bones pierced, along with my hips. Belly button too but I have scarring in mine due to surgery so idk if I can. I want my tongue pierced but bc of my anatomy I can’t have it done. :((( There’s certain tongue anatomies where it’s impossible to safely pierce and i’m one of those unfortunate people. 

Also I low key want a corset piercing, but man those piercings are not permanent at all and just seem like more trouble than they are worth for a few moments of pretty. :((( breaks my heart lmao. 

i love body mods so much T___T 

[diplomaticspoonie]

I’m just going to fill this out...

But the way I feel like it.

Get to Know Me Uncomfortably Well

1. What is you middle name? Nice try, identity thieves.  (Then again, my real face is on here. Hm.) 

2. How old are you? Five short of two score

3. When is your birthday? St. John’s Day

4. What is your zodiac sign? No.

5. What is your favorite color? Purple.

6. What's your lucky number? I don’t really have one?

7. Do you have any pets? 2 dogs and 2 cats.  (I love animals!)

8. Where are you from?  Kentucky!

9. How tall are you? 5′6″

10. What shoe size are you? 11ish.

11. How many pairs of shoes do you own? 4? I think? 

12. What was your last dream about? Something about my cats.

13. What talents do you have? I’ve a good knack for languages after studying so many of them. 

14. Are you psychic in any way? No.

15. Favorite song? Today, it’s Parabola by Tool.

16. Favorite movie? Casablanca.

17. Who would be your ideal partner? My wife really is ideal.

18. Do you want children? No.

19. Do you want a church wedding? Didn’t have one either time.

20. Are you religious? No.

21. Have you ever been to the hospital? Oh, yes.  

22. Have you ever got in trouble with the law? I’ve had a speeding ticket...

23. Have you ever met any celebrities? I’ve met some famous politicians.  I was near Richard Gere once. 

24. Baths or showers? Shower.

25. What color socks are you wearing? No.

26. Have you ever been famous? Locally, in Togo.

27. Would you like to be a big celebrity? God no.

28. What type of music do you like? Most anything, but especially metal.

29. Have you ever been skinny dipping? No.

30. How many pillows do you sleep with? 2

31. What position do you usually sleep in? Side.

32. How big is your house? 2 stories and a basement.

33. What do you typically have for breakfast? Anything.

34. Have you ever fired a gun? Yes, twenty years ago.

35. Have you ever tried archery? Yes.

36. Favorite clean word? Awesome.

37. Favorite swear word? Goddamnit.

38. What's the longest you've ever gone without sleep? 24 hrs?

39. Do you have any scars? A couple.

40. Have you ever had a secret admirer? Yeah...

41. Are you a good liar? Not really.

42. Are you a good judge of character? Maybe?

43. Can you do any other accents other than your own? Not well.

44. Do you have a strong accent? I don’t think so.

45. What is your favorite accent? Some of the British ones, esp. the one where “my” becomes “me.”

46. What is your personality type? I don’t know what this means. (If it’s Myers-Briggs, it’s “fuck off, MB is pseudo psych BS.”)

47. What is your most expensive piece of clothing? Probably one of my suits?

48. Can you curl your tongue? No.

49. Are you an innie or an outie? Innie.

50. Left or right handed? Left.

51. Are you scared of spiders? Definitely not.

52. Favorite food? Duck.

53. Favorite foreign food? Beijing duck.

54. Are you a clean or messy person? SO GODDAMN MESSY.

55. Most used phrased? I’m not sure.

56. Most used word? See above--Awesome.

57. How long does it take for you to get ready? Depends on the what it’s for and how bad I’m flaring.

58. Do you have much of an ego? No. I have crippling depression instead.

59. Do you suck or bite lollipops? Suck.

60. Do you talk to yourself? Occasionally.

61. Do you sing to yourself? Oh yeah.

62. Are you a good singer? Nope!

63. Biggest Fear? Death.

64. Are you a gossip? God yes.

65. Best dramatic movie you've seen? Casablanca.

66. Do you like long or short hair? Don’t care.

67. Can you name all 50 states of America? Yes.

68. Favorite school subject? Depended on the teacher. Geography, probably.

69. Extrovert or Introvert? Eh, either?

70. Have you ever been scuba diving? No, but I want to.

71. What makes you nervous? Fucking up.

72. Are you scared of the dark? Sometimes.

73. Do you correct people when they make mistakes? Sometimes.

74. Are you ticklish? Yes.

75. Have you ever started a rumor? Probably by accident.

76. Have you ever been in a position of authority? Yes.

77. Have you ever drank underage? Only a little.

78. Have you ever done drugs? As a teen, my stepdad gave me some painkillers to help me out when he had to perform minor surgery on my foot.  That’s it.

79. Who was your first real crush? A girl in my middle school. She was a violinist, hella smart, really sweet, and jaw droppingly beautiful.  

80. How many piercings do you have? 0

81. Can you roll your Rs?" No.

82. How fast can you type? 60 wpm? Maybe?

83. How fast can you run? Ha ha.

84. What color is your hair? Brown.

85. What color is your eyes? Brown.

86. What are you allergic to? Everything? Grass, mostly.

87. Do you keep a journal? No.

88. What do your parents do? They’re dead. Thanks for asking. (My dad had been a restaurant manager, my mom worked mostly in utilities as a secretary, but had recently switched to working at Amazon at a shitty job before her car accident.)

89. Do you like your age? 35 is all right.

90. What makes you angry? Injustice, mostly.

91. Do you like your own name? It’s pretty cool.

92. Have you already thought of baby names, and if so what are they? Thought of lots of them..but I don’t want kids.

93. Do you want a boy a girl for a child? Have you noticed the “I don’t want kids” thing?

94. What are you strengths? Languages, compassion.

95. What are your weaknesses? Over empathy, crippling self-doubt.

96. How did you get your name? First name from my dad, first middle name from my great-great-grandfather, second middle name from mom’s dad.

97. Were your ancestors royalty? Ha ha ha. Oh god no. Poor white trash for generations.

98. Do you have any scars? You already asked that!

99. Color of your bedspread? Right now? Green? Brown? 

100. Color of your room? White?