#but for four full length games honestly. honestly? i'm looking

[mishkakagehishka]

actually i meant the otome game, i already downloaded the ritsu one!

HSHSHDB okay okay. The one that's currently on sale is Taisho x Alice, I can't give it any hype because I haven't tried it, I just read a bit about it and thought "oh this seems like smth that i'd like" (bc i like that sort of fairy tale inspired stuff :]). One that i CAN hype up though is Cinderella Phenomenon, the first game is free and 10/10 actually made me cry, I enjoyed it so much I event went for the route that has a trope that squicks me out just because I wanted to see what would happen, the sequel I haven't tried, but I'm literally looking at my credit card right now bc I wanna get it saur bad. It was so good. Real ones remember the way I made Cinderella Phenomenon propaganda back when I first played all the routes of the first game. Obsessed. Ob-sessed.

[s10127470]

The Evolution of the Ninja Turtles' Designs

As I'm sure many of you know by now, this year marks the 40th anniversary of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles.

What initially started off as an intended one-off parody of the dark and gritty comics of the early to the mid 1980s (particularly the works of Frank Miller like Ronin and especially Daredevil) would grow to become one of the most successful media franchises in history.

The one-off quickly became a full-on series, running for a total of 30 years from 1984 to 2014.

It also led to the creators of the Turtles, Kevin Eastman and Peter Laird, to start their own comic publishing company, Mirage.

And apart from that, this franchise has seen multiple of other comic runs from the likes of Image, Archie and IDW.

Four animated series (with a fifth one coming out this summer).

Ten feature-length films (7 being released in theaters, while 3 were released direct-to-DVD).

A live-action TV show that nobody likes to talk about....

And a boatload of video games, toys, food products, and just about any other kind of merchandising you can think of!

And it's honestly impressive just how consistently popular the TMNT brand has reminded over the four decades they've existed in pop culture.

Even more so is how much of a spotless track record they've had when it comes to the quality of their products.

Okay a mostly spotless track record....

But today I'm here to talk about one of the coolest things to notice when looking at this franchise. And that's the visual evolution of the Turtles.

I'm gonna be looking at the designs of the Turtles from the original Mirage comics and the animated outputs of the franchise to see just how much the Turtles have visually changed.

Starting this off we have the Turtles from the Mirage comics, the 1987 cartoon, the 2003 cartoon and the 2007 film.

The reason I decided to lump these four iterations together is because they all share something in common....

What that's you may ask?

Well, a while back, I watched a video by YouTuber Just Stop called "Death by Nicktoon", where he looked at the many Nicktoons that were unfairly snubbed and sent to the Nicktoons channel to die a slow and painful death.

And one of those Nicktoons was one of the next TMNT series I'll be talking about pretty shortly.

When talking about that series, Just Stop mentioned the Silhouette Test.

As I'm sure many of know by now, the Silhouette Test is major component when it comes to character designing.

Essentially the saying goes that you know a character has a good design if their silhouette is easily recognizable.

And Turtles do pass this test.....but only as a group.

Because individually, these versions would all fail that in an instant.

And that's the thing they all have in common.

Within the pieces of media each of these groups come from, all they look exactly the same.

Out of all of them, the Mirage Turtles have this issue the worst.

During the early years of the comics, the Turtles basically acted damn-near identical to each other.

And if you were trying to find another way to differentiate them from each other, I don't know what to tell you.

As I mentioned earlier, these Turtles look exactly the same and the fact that they were in black and white for a good chunk of the comics didn't help matters either.

But when they were in color, the Turtles were all depicted wearing red masks.

Really, the only way you could actually tell which Turtles is which is by their respective weapons.

Leonardo wields the dual katanas.

Raphael wields the twin sais.

Donatello wields the bō staff.

And Michelangelo wields the dual nunchucks.

But when the 87 cartoon rolled around, the crew behind that show knew the Turtles needed some retooling in order for a wider audience to get into the brand.

Thus, they did two things that have become staples in the Turtles franchise since then.

They gave each of the Turtles their own distant personalities. Leonardo was the calm, brave and strategic leader, Donatello was the tinkering, inventing genius, Raphael was the cynical and wisecracking smartass with a slightly bad attitude, and Michelangelo was the fun-loving, Cowbunga-shouting goofball.

They gave each of the Turtles different colored masks. With the expectation of Raphael (who was still rocking the red look), Leonardo got a blue mask, Donatello got a purple mask, and Michelangelo got a orange mask.

And although their visually more distinct when compared to the Mirage Turtles, they still suffer from the same problem where physically, they look exactly the same.

Plus the fact that a lot of promotion and merchandising for this show often depict the Turtles as having the same expressions didn’t help either.

However, there was another visual element added to the Turtles' designs.

They gave each of the turtles belts with buckles that had the initials of their respective names.

But if you had put these Turtles in black and white and took away their weapons and belts, you most likely wouldn't be able to tell who was who.

The same can be applied to the 2007 Turtles as well....minus the belts since they don't have those.

But in the case of the 2003 Turtles, this is where things get interesting....

These Turtles do share the same issues as the three other iterations listed above, being that they look exactly the same to each other, minus the colored bandanas and trademark weapons (which I'm still surprised they carried over from the 1987 cartoon given that Turtles co-creator Peter Laird, who was heavily involved in the 2003 cartoon, is kind of infamous for having a bit of a hate-boner towards that series).

However, there is another visual element to these Turtles that would help differentiate them from each other.

This would mark the very first time in the franchise's history where the Turtles were given different skin colors....or more appropriately, shades, as each of Turtles' skins were a different shade of green.

Leonardo was forest green.

Michelangelo was blue green.

Donatello was olive green.

And Raphael was emerald green.

But with that being said, if you put these Turtles in black and white just like the others iterations above and took away their respective weapons, it would be the same output as before.....

Or maybe not....

You see, for the last two seasons of the show: Fast Forward and Back to the Sewers, the entire cast received major redesigns, and this led to two notable changes with the Turtles.

Their eyes. In the first five seasons, the Turtles' eyes were depicted as being fully white when they had their masks on. And when they were off, their eyes were just simple black. But in these last two seasons, the Turtles' eyes were now colored and were made visible through the masks. The Turtles all had green eyes....except for Donatello, whose eyes were brown for some reason.

Their heights. In the first five seasons, the Turtles all stood at about the same height, that being 5'2. But in the last two seasons, they were each given different heights. Michelangelo was the shortest at 5'4, Leonardo was the second shortest at 5'5, Donatello was the second tallest at 5'6, and Raphael was the tallest at 5'7.

Next we come to the Turtles from the 2012 series, and this is where everything changed....

For the very first time in the franchise's history, the Turtles were each given unique and distinct looks from each other.

No longer did they look like the same character copy-pasted three times, each of Turtles actually looked different!

If you saw these guys in black and white and took away their weapons, you could definitely tell who was who!

Some of the visual elements of the previous cartoons were carried over such as the colored masks (which have becomes staples of the franchise since the 1987 cartoon), having their skin colors being a different shade of green, having colored eyes and standing at different heights.

But what really sets these versions apart from the others is the fact that each Turtle has a different physical build!

Leonardo is the most well-rounded when it comes to physical builds, he has fern green skin, cobalt blue eyes, and is the second tallest of the Turtles at 5'1.

Raphael is slightly more bulkier and has more defined muscles than the rest of his brothers, has dark green skin, emerald green eyes, a crack on the right side of his shell, and is the second shortest of the Turtles at 5'0.

Donatello has a lean and gangly-like build, brownish green skin, reddish brown eyes, has a gap in the middle of his teeth, and is the tallest of the Turtles at 5'6.

And Michaelangelo has a more stout and pudgy build, light green skin, baby blue eyes, freckles on his face, and is the shortest of the Turtles at 4'10.

Now come to the Turtles from Rise of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles....

Out of all the iterations of the Turtles before and since, these guys are by far the most visually distinct of them all!

It honestly feels like the crew looked at the designs of the 2012 Turtles and said, "Hey! Let's do what they did.....but even better!"

Marking yet another first for this franchise, this would mark the first time the Turtles were all different specific species of Turtles rather than being the same unspecified species for the umpteenth time.

And them being different species are greatly reflected in their designs.

Also, according to several artists on the show, each of the Turtles were designed around a shape, and the use of the shapes also reflected their respective personalities.

Raphael is an alligator snapping turtle, which is why is he's an absolute unit in this series, with a hulking and muscular build to match! This Raphael is the second biggest and tallest he's been in this franchise, standing at a whooping 6'0! And since he's an alligator snapping turtle, Raphael also has jagged and fractured points on his elbow, knees and shell. His choice of species reflect three major aspects of his character.....

His status as the brawler/muscle of the team.

In this iteration, HE'S the leader of the team.

He's the oldest of the Turtles. Oh yeah, marking yet another first for this franchise, this would mark the first time that the Turtles were all made different ages rather than being quadruplets like every other iteration. As previously mentioned, Raphael is eldest of his brothers at 15.

Raphael was designed around squares, to reflect his offensive and defensive fighting style.

His mask, in contrast to half of his brothers, is depicted as more of a bandana (or a possibly a durag). Plus it has the longest tails out of the group, reflecting his status as the oldest brother.

He also wears red bands on his elbows and his thighs, a red belt with his Turtle Emblem off to the right side, and his bandages on a few parts of his body and specifically around his ankles and hands, reflecting his prowess as a fighter and that he's the Turtle most dedicated to training.

Raphael also has bright green skin and a sharp tooth sticking out of the right side of his mouth.

Leonardo is a red-eared slider, which is why he has those markings all over his body and shell and the red markings over his eyes. His choice of species would also reflect his future status as the leader of the Turtles, since red-eared sliders are the most well-known species of turtles. He also has a lean and athletic build, reflecting his status as the team's resident speed fighter.

Leonardo was designed around triangles, to reflect his witty and sharp nature.

The marks on his body are also triangular as well.

Leonardo also has lime green skin and wears blueish grey fingerless gloves and toeless footwear, a blue belt with a strap that overs his right shoulder, a set of pouches, and he has his Turtle Emblem on the left, and is the second tallest turtle at 5'5 (the same height as his 2003 iteration).

Donatello is a Asian softshell, which plays a big part in his personality. Out of all the iterations of Donatello, this one is far more aggressive than most of his prior iterations, even the Mirage version! I mean bro, this Donatello is practically a psychopathic scientist. This is because Asian softshells are known for being incredibly aggressive and one of the few species of turtles that are carnivorous.

As for his physical build, it's quite similar to Leonardo, which is possibly because of the fact they're twins, both being 14 years old.

Though Donatello's is even more leaner and thinner than Leonardo's, giving him a build akin to a swimmer. That's because Asian softshells are known for being some of the couple of turtles that live on land that are semi-aquatic.

Another similarity Leonardo and Donatello share are their mask tail lengths.....well, sort of....

The length of Leonardo's mask tails is squarely in the middle, reflecting his status as the middle child.

Donatello's however are little harder to tell.....

At first glance they appear to be quite short. However, when looking closely, you can see that the tails look folded. So there's a strong chance that his mask tails are both as long as Leonardo's, since they're twins.

(Also, it's fashioned in a similar way to Raphael.)

Donatello was designed around rectangles, to reflect his more practical and blunt nature and his technological prowess.

He also has purple, rectangular markings on his body as well.

Donatello wears purple fingerless gloves and toeless footwear, a silver tech-gauntlet on his left wrist with a blue touchscreen, purple knee and elbow pads, a purple belt with matching pouches, and the Turtle emblem placed on the center. He also has jade green skin and stands at 5'3.

But the most notable aspect of Donatello's design is his mechanical shell.

This not only reflects his technological prowess, but also reflects an aspect of his species and his character.

Asian softshells are known for their shells being on the weaker side when compared to other turtles species. It's in the name. So Donatello wears one for obvious reasons.

It reflects his inferiority complex. Throughout this series, it's shown that he heavily relies on technology due to him feeling inferior to his brothers. That was sort of already from the beginning given that he majorly lacks the same natural protection they do, but thanks to them getting mystical powers, that was made even worse.

Michelangelo is a ornate box turtle, which is why he's the smallest and shortest of the Turtles, standing at 4'7 (being the shortest any of the Turtle iterations have ever been). Him being a box turtle also reflects a major part of his personality, that being his friendly and kind personality, as box turtles are known for being one of the friendliest and gentle species of turtles.

Michelangelo was designed around circles, to reflect his bouncy and kinetic nature.

He also has orange spots on his body and orange markings on his shell, which also serve as an another nod to his species.

Michelangelo also has blue green skin and wears orange wristbands and toeless footwear, and orange knee pads with red faces on them (a dead face on the right and a smiley face on the left), and a dark orange chest harness over his left shoulder with the Turtle emblem placed over his heart.

He also wears a pair of magenta and cyan stickers on his plastron (a triangle and a lightning bolt), to reflect his artistic nature.

Michelangelo also has the shortest mask tails of his brothers, to reflect his status as the youngest.

Finally we come to latest incarnation of the Turtles, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Mutant Mayhem....

Although they're not nearly as visually unique as their previous iteration, they still do a good job at making each of the other visual distinct from each other.

One thing to note is that the just like the 1987 Turtles, they all have initialed buckles again.

Leonardo has a well-rounded build like his 2012 iteration with French lime green skin, has shurikens on his belt, and is the second tallest of his brothers at 5'5

Donatello has a leaner build similar to his 2012 iteration with bitter lime green skin, wears glasses, headphones, and a fanny pack, carries a phone on his belt, and is the second shortest at 5'4.

Raphael is the biggest and bulkiest of his brothers with bright green skin, has his mask fashioned in a bandana-like style akin to Rise Raphael, has a pouch on his belt, and is the tallest at 5'7.

Michelangelo is the skinniest with sea green skin, wears braces and is the shortest at 5'1.

Well that's all for now folks!

The reason I wanted to do this (apart from wanting to do something for the Heroes in a Half-Shell's Big 40), was because although I've seen people talk about the looks of the various iterations of the Turtles before, but only in the sense of that specific iteration.

So I thought I would be interesting to instead do a timeline of their visual appearances to show just how much they've changed over the decades.

Anyway, I'm gonna go to bed.....

Peace.

[a-wild-rosette]

Hey saw your 'Ranboo Negative' post about how you don't think he's a good character? (i'm sure that's what you said) and i was wondering if you wanted to expand on that?

(no pressure i'm just not the biggest fan of him either and like hearing people who agree with me lmao)

Hi anon my beloved.

I don't usually write crit but I'm mad enough today so :D here we go :D

So I'll admit that his entire like, enderwalk mystery and such doesn't engage me as much because mystery isn't my most favorite genre and I just feel like there are too many questions and mysteries keep piling up on top of each other. But like, that's probably just a personal preference thing.

But like on a character development, especially emotional and the way the character interact with the world? Yeah not into that. Here's why.

1. People excuse his actions too much and there is literally no consequence on Ranboo for his actions whatsoever.

c!Ranboo is the type of person who is nice, but not kind. The kind of person that stands for nothing and therefore falls for nothing. Instead, other people suffer the consequence of his actions.

Like Ranboo gave Techno back his weapons and stood by and watched at people were tortured by Techno and Tommy. Twice, may I add, with Fundy - one of Ranboo's supposedly closest friends, and Connor - an innocent bystander. No one ever calls him out on it, and he can go on and deny what he did (or didn't do, more like) was not bad. Or like the whole ordeal with Doomsday. He basically talks a big game of being loyal and choosing people, but in Doomsday the only person he chose was himself and his own safety.

He betrayed L'Manberg. He left Tubbo and Tommy to fight for their death even though he said he was going to fight with them. He abandoned every other person who cared about him, only to go and team up with the people who destroyed the country of the FOUR PEOPLE who had always wanted to protect him (Tubbo, Tommy, Niki, Fundy). He refused to pick a side, and by that, he picked the side of the tyrant. In the face of injustice, inaction is an action in itself. But yeah, while everyone else lost everything, Ranboo has everything to gain. He has powerful allies, a home that he can fill to the brim with richness, and in the end, everyone who he has hurt? Tubbo goes out of his way to protect him against Quackity's (reasonable, albeit quite harsh) criticism. He's still friends with Tommy, you know, despite being friends with one of the dudes who blew up Tommy's country. Even Fundy and Niki still care about him in the aftermath. He didn't lose anything - everyone else in L'Manberg did.

Somehow, he never had to stop and reconsider his stance on everything and who he supports, he never had to stop and considered "hey, maybe i'm not as good of a person as I want to be". AND HE COULD DO IT because no one calls him out on his action (or inaction, more like). It's always "oh no he's a victim because he has memory issues". Cool motive, still murder :) He's still a person with autonomy, and "peer pressure" is still not a good enough excuse to hurting people. And you know for sure that, even if Ranboo hurt someone *again*, it's gonna still be "justified" by whoever he didn't hurt :) (Not naming names here but it starts with Ranboo and ends with apologists). Actually, just look at the outpost situation with Las Nevadas right now :D

You see, Ranboo can do things that are really just... frustrating at best and downright annoying at best, and the amount of people going hearteyes at him still is enough to overwhelm any meaningful criticism in character :)

2. In fact, the consequence of Ranboo's actions fall onto other people. Or like, people justify Ranboo’s actions by demonising other characters. C!Ranboo does this too. 

Not just other people blaming Ranboo's actions on him being "peer pressured", Not just like, people getting hurt because Ranboo didn’t support them. But Ranboo himself pushing the blame on other people to maintain the view that he was blameless. 

c!Ranboo wants to be a “good” person so bad that he went to a lot of length to justify himself, blaming any wrongdoings on other characters, putting himself in the victim role to explain away his actions. He wants to be a good person, a “reasonable person” who would bring “peace” to the server and resolve conflict, but he refuses to actually do the hard things, because being “good” means taking a stance, being “good” is hard and needs effort, efforts that Ranboo does not have the drive to put in. So instead, he chose the easier thing: explain his actions away. He wasn’t bad, he couldn’t control other people’s actions. He was just a victim. Oh no! 

Like when he called Fundy a coward for wanting to team up, for “choosing people, not sides” - the exact things Ranboo preached. Like when he yelled at Tommy for when his plan to kill Dream failed, even though he and Tubbo helped Tommy without ever trying to stop him or make him more well prepared. He denied any of his involvement in any plan that went wrong and pushed the blame onto the people around him. And even in the Las Nevadas dispute just now? He also subtly hinted that Tubbo was the one who made the decision, not him. He’s the reasonable one here. As if he didn’t help Tubbo. As if he didn’t antagonise Las Nevadas right along his partner. 

And I would be more lenient with this trait if it weren’t also supported by literally everyone around Ranboo. Like, take the time when Phil told Fundy he had “a lot of redeeming to do” and expressed that Tubbo also had things to make up for, and then compared Ranboo with them as the poor, manipulated victim. Deliberation or no, that comparison push a narrative between Ranboo and Tubbo and Fundy, between the “good” victim and the “evil” perpetrator. Or, like, take the times where everyone blames c!Dream for manipulating c!Ranboo, even though there is no hint about that actually happening. Ranboo’s “victim” narrative keeps being reinforced, which, again, gives him no space and no dissonance to actually reconsider his stance. 

3. There's no stake for c!Ranboo's character.

When L'Manberg was still around, Ranboo clearly showed his loyalty didn't lie with the country. He had no emotional connect to the place, and he failed to see how the country meant so much to the people who built it and fought for it and saw it rise and fall. Even his emotional connection to Tubbo and Tommy was chalked up, by himself, as "they were nice to me, so i'm nice back". Relationships, in season 2 at least, were just a tradeoff of favors and niceties to Ranboo, and whether it was the case or not, Ranboo convinced himself that was the case. This gave him a detachment from *everyone*, because at the end of the day, the emotional stake wasn't there, loyalty was not in ss2!Ranboo's vocabulary.

And right now? Ranboo is in full life, he has a whole chest of totems. The closest thing he has to a stake is Tubbo and Michael, but like, meta-wise? I don't think Tubbo is dying anytime soon, and Michael is also probably safe because no one would be cruel enough to use Michael as a plot, when cc!Ranboo and cc!Tubbo are clearly really attached. Ranboo is rich, powerful, with a powerful husband, and a whole fucking lot of plot armor. And while, yes, his attachment to Tubbo and Michael is a positive development (and the *only* positive development actually), it's also paled a bit when Ranboo is still allied with the people who destroyed Tubbo's home, not to mention he was there against Tubbo when the Syndicate threatened him. The emotional connection between him and Tubbo was still not strong enough for Ranboo to reconsider the people he supports.

I’m gonna be patient for now, but honestly the way the character is being excused over and over both in canon and by the fandom is really frustrating to watch. 

[oh-three]

7, 11, 17, 18, 34, 41, 58, 65, 78 and 94 for the ask game

7) Tell us about the plot of the first fanfic you ever wrote.

Oh god.

It was a Transformers fic, three chapters long, about Hubcap (red version) getting kidnapped by Decepticons then rescued by Blurr and Ironhide. It's actually pretty cringey, and I hate the dialogue so much. My writing has improve so much since then.

11) What’s something neat you’ve learned while doing research for something you were writing? Also, how much do you worry about doing research in general?

[TW- slavery]

I don't worry about research too much, unless it's like historical or medical stuff (occasional Wookieepedia use aside).

I did write a Pirates Of The Caribbean fic a year and a half (or two and a half years) ago, spent days researching slavery. I learned all kinds of stuff from that, stored it on a document for safekeeping. Have this on there:

Slaves were scrubbed and their wounds filled with hot tar before auction. The unsold and frail were often sold by scramble auctions, where after agreeing a flat rate, plantation owners would race to grab the best workforce.

17) What is your favorite line you’ve ever written?

I don't really memorize them, but whenever I look back on a fic and read one of them, I remember how much I love it. For the sake of saving time, here's one from A Hand In Refuge:

Because even though his master had discouraged the voicing of his opinion, the desire to share had lingered deep beneath his rigorous teachings, waiting oh-so-patiently to arise.

18) What is your most and least favorite part of writing?

My most favorite part of writing is watching it turn from outline material into fully fleshed out conversations and ideas. There's a certain magic to watching it happen, to comparing the two afterward.

My least favorite part is figuring out how to pick something up again from where I've left off. Really struggling to start the next chapter of my Cobb Vanth series at the moment. I know what I want to do, I just don't know how to execute it.

34) How do you name characters and places?

Honestly? I usually just run a name generator until I come upon one that just fits. Something that I like the sound of aesthetically, something that feels like it suits the personality of the character receiving the name.

41. What is the weirdest story idea you’ve ever had?

I'm part of a (now -inactive) Discord server with a few other Pirates Of The Caribbean writers. Went to a feed store one night, shared a few pictures of chicks staying warm.

That turned into me writing a story about Jack Sparrow smuggling a couple pocket-fulls of chicks onto the Black Pearl. It's the most random thing I've ever written, and I love it.

58) What is the last thing that a fic made you google when you were writing it?

"hyperspace lane"

Yeah, I was trying to figure out what skylanes were called. I got there.

65) What is your favourite title for a fic you’ve written? 

Me, who's written over four-hundred fics: ...

I've Seen Things In This House I've Never Spoken Of is a good one. It's a Spider-Man fic, the title itself being a quote from one of the characters.

When The Suns Grow Low, The Fight Only Gets Tougher is the title of the first fic in my Cobb Vanth series. I don't even remember how I came up with it, but I really do love it a lot.

Solus Tome (Alone Together) is another favorite, the fic surrounding the Bad Batch and Fives, an AU in which he survives and they find him. The first part of the title is in Mando'a, the translation being the part that's in parenthesis.

I'm going to stop there before I get ahead of myself.

78) How do you choose where to end a chapter?

Yeah, that's always a tad difficult.

I usually just chop it up between scenes to make it a bit more natural, though I sometimes cut it in the middle of scenes for the sake of length consistency or dramatic effect.

94) Do you prefer dialogue or description?

I really like both, if I'm being honest. I can't say I prefer one over the other. I love description, going in-depth on how things look, but there's just something about nailing a character's line that is pretty magical itself.

[bill-y]

𝐈𝐍𝐔𝐑𝐄

Peeta Mellark x male reader

We all know who Katniss Everdeen is, but what if Primrose hadn’t been chosen but another boy from another unfortunate family? YOUR family.

Info: This is basically a reader insert and I’ve changed a few rules, not ground breaking though. The reader is a bit bland for now but I plan for his actions to be different. Because he has different moral grounds from Katniss and such. Would appreciate feedback! FEEL FREE TO POINT OUT TYPOS. GRAMMARLY SOMETIMES DOESN’T DO MY DYSLEXIC ASS JUSTICE

Part two: Click here, bomburino tortilla pony horse.

Part three: You're here, my guy.

Part four: Click here, amigo

Wattpad acc: L0calxDumbass

It didn't take long before I came home, my mother and brother was already dressed, and I was right, Kunal has been crying.

He immediately lightened up when he saw the bread, pushing the sleeves of my first reaping outfit (which was now his) back in order to munch on it.

"Don't worry, you only have your name once in the pile, you're safe," I reassured him, as I've done many times before.

I smiled, patting his head. My mother glanced at me, but I pretended to not notice. It's been long since we've talked, the last time was a disagreement, a petty one at that. About two years or so?

I honestly surpised myself, how can I go without talking to her for so long. . .?

Another trait my father passed on to me was a short temper, though I never lose my head and scream, but something about her words made me yell. Her face was full of shock when I did that, almost as if I've betrayed her.

"Don't be stupid like your father!" She told me.

My father isn't a stupid man, he was smart. Lady luck just wasn't on his side that day.

I took a bath, scrubbing the dirt and soot off myself. When I saw my clothing my heart stopped. It was my Father's.

It was simple, just as he liked. A white button up tunic, the hems made of elegant gold lace. The pants were loose, with garters securing on the hip and the hems, he never liked tight clothing, just like me.

My eyes went towards my mother, who simply nodded, "After you get dressed, sit down, won't you? Let me fix your hair," she said.

My mouth opened to protest, only to shut itself when she whispered a small, "please," My eyes softened, her voice sounded so guilty, she regretted her words, just as I did. She knew I could get chosen.

But I'm a coward, I don't like apologizing, something I inherited from her.

I nodded, and got dressed before I sat down, just as she told me. She began to braid tiny sections of my hair. I've never been good at it, really, It would always look messy when I did it. So I just looked messy everyday.

But her hands can do magic, it was like she was weaving silk, her hands full of grace and utmost care as she intertwined every strand of hair. I could feel her hand shake a little, as if scared with one wrong touch, I'd shatter like glass.

She used to sew clothing, make various artworks with whatever was in the house. Her hand was naturally delicate, soft to anything she makes contact with.

I bit my lip, none of us wanted to say it. We we're both thinking the same thing, though.

I never really liked cutting my hair, always kept it atleast neck length at best. I don't think short hair suits me at all, though it does get in the way while hunting from time to time.

Once she finished, without a word she pressed her chapped lips onto my forehead, she then walked away, leaving me with a pit of guilt in my stomach.

Such simple words, why can't I just say it?

I sighed, fixing my tunic and tucking it in, the garter snapping back, making me wince a little. It was stupid of me to let go.

I took a deep breath in, mustering all the courage I had to walk towards my brother, who has devoured the entire loaf. "Good?" I asked.

He nodded, a smile on his face, the crumbs falling down. I chuckled, wiping his mouth with my hand.

"You're like a bird, aren't you, little mocking jay?" I said, patting his head again.

He hummed, nodding aggressively, his hair bouncing up and down. I snickered, holding his head still with both my hands. I squished his cheeks together, making his lips form into a duck beak-shape. "Hey, Y/n,"

I rose my brows, humming. "I won't get chosen, won't I?" he asked. I sniffed, shaking my head as I linked our foreheads. "No, no you wont, Nal," I said. "If they call you, I won't let you go, alright?"

"You promise?"

"Of course,"

Soon it hit one in the afternoon, it was mandatory to attend this "festival", unless you're at death's door, that is. I found myself beside Gale, who patted my shoulder for reassurance.

Maybe it was obvious I'm stressed, tense. I'm not worried about myself, I'm more worried of them, especially Kunal. He's only twelve, yet he can still get chosen.

Some kind of festival this is.

I clenched my fists tighter, palms started to go white as I also clenched my jaw.

On the temporary stage stationed in front of the justice building was a podium, three chairs and two large bowls. The district is divided into two sections, jumbled across those two glass bowls, waiting to be picked up.

Twenty of them contained 'Y/n Greyback', one of them contained 'Kunal Greyback'.

There were also bright banners hung up, though I'm sure it was just there to taunt us, it sure worked for me. Everytime I look at it I start feel sick, hatred bubbling in my stomach.

The feeling of claustrophobia began to settle in as people piled into the square, the late comers having to just watch from a monitor instead.

"You alright?" Gale asked, nudging me. I gulped, sighing, "Course, I just —" I turned back, looking at my brother. "Worry of him,"

He gave me a sympathetic look, "He only has one entry, I'm sure he won't be picked," He said. Something I've been saying for such a long time, it didn't help settle my nerves.

"I know," I answered plainly.

We looked towards Katniss' place, beside her was Mardge, who gave me a curt smile and a wave. Out of politeness, I simply nodded back before turning back to the stage.

My hands grew colder each second, by two, when the mayor finally reached the stage, my hands were as cold as a corpse's.

Beside the mayor was Effie Trinket, District 12’s escort, fresh from the Capitol with her scary white grin, pinkish hair, and spring green suit. It looked quite ghastly.

Everyone murmured in worry, for whom was the empty third seat for?

The mayor stepped in front of the podium, beginning to tell the tale of Panem, how the twelve districts lost in the rebellion and now have to face punishment.

The Hunger games.

It was simple, each district would pick two "tributes" to this little game, and then they either kill like a hungry wolf or die like lost cattle.

I gulped, sweat forming on my forehead as I instinctively reached for the end of Gale's shirt. He held my hand, patting it a few times to let me know it would be alright.

He then began to read the victors in every hunger games. In the past seventy-four years, we have had exactly two.

Only one is still alive. Haymitch Abernathy, a paunchy, middle-aged man, who at this moment appears hollering something unintelligible, staggers onto the stage, and falls into the third chair.

To say he's drunk would be an understatement.

The crowd responds with its token applause, but he’s confused and tries to give Effie Trinket a big hug, which she barely manages to fend off.

The mayor looks distressed. Since all of this is being televised, right now District 12 is the laughingstock of Panem, and he knows it. He quickly tries to pull the attention back to the reaping by introducing Effie Trinket.

Bright and bubbly as ever, she began to talk. I could feel my blood boiling upon hearing her obnoxious, Capitol accent. I tuned her out, gulping as my hands somehow grew even colder.

Please don't let it be my brother, anyone but him.

"Let's have the first pick, shall we?" She said, her voice at the end of the sentence practically sky rocketing up. She pulled a piece of paper from one of the Glass bowls.

My heart pounded, as if trying to escape my chest. I closed my eyes, taking deep breaths in.

"Kunal Greyback,"

My heart stopped. Why couldn't it have been me? I had twenty, TWENTY entries.

I watched as my brother walked past me, his lip quivering, eyes glossy. Oh sweet, sweet Kunal, as delicate as a Lotus.

Kunal, the boy who gathers flowers every morning just for me.

Kunal, the boy who loves pulling on my braids.

Kunal, my dear innocent brother. Afraid of his own shadow.

I felt my own body move, launching myself forward. Gale called for my name, but I didn't care, no. I needed to get to my brother, I made a promise.

"NAL! NAL! NO!" I yelled, desperation evident in my voice as I pushed through the other people. "Y/n!" He screamed back.

Most of then gave me and my brother looks of sympathy, some gossiped. "Greyback," they'd whisper. "Another one bites the dust," they'd continue.

The peace keepers pushed me back, preventing me from reaching my brother.

No, not like this. He's still so young, he still wants to gather lilys by the front of our house, he still wants to create flower crowns for me to wear.

He still wants to breath, to live.

The mayor looked at me, recignizing me almost immediately. He didn't know me, no. Rather, he knew my father, the man he put under the execution block.

Oh mother, I'm sorry it had to be this way. It seems another one of your family members will die at the hands of the Capitol.

"I volunteer!" I gasped, gulping down nothing. My mouth was dry.

"I volunteer as a tribute!"

Word count: 1.6k

Tags:

@nin3s

:v

[onionsoop]

Regrets /// Oikawa x nb!reader

Summary: After the last day of school you go over to Oikawa's house and start to talk about all the things you regretted not doing in high school. During that time though you confess to him after he pesters you about who you were interested in.

Length: 2.1k

Tags: Fluff, Childhood Friends, Kissing

Author's Note: Heyo, this is just some silly Oikawa fluff I decided to write cause I wasn't really in the mood to write smut these past few weeks. I might add more parts to this, but for now I'm working on Part 2 to the Nanami fic. Anyways, sorry for any spelling or grammar mistakes and enjoy :)

The clink of ice in a glass sounded from the other room. You let out a long sigh, closing your eyes, letting the buzzing from the cicadas outside fill your mind. Warm sunlight beamed in from the sliding glass door, lighting up his bedroom and falling across your legs.

It was the last day of the school year. The last day of school before you headed off to college. It had been a long and twelve years, filled with some of the hardest work you had ever done, but now that it was over you felt was a slight sadness. Thinking about what you had ahead of you felt overwhelming and you just wanted to spend your time enjoying this last summer break to its fullest.

The sound of footsteps approaching from the kitchen made you open your eyes, turning your head to look at him as he entered the room. Casual as ever, Oikawa entered the room holding two full glasses of lemonade and smiling at you. Oikawa, your neighbor and childhood friend since you were seven-- looking at him now felt no different than it had when you first met. Despite the fact that he had grown twice as tall and now had his hair styled in those perfect waves the cocky look on his face had remained the same. You followed his movements with your eyes as he set one of the glasses down next to you on the floor before sitting down with a heavy sigh, admiring the way the muscles under his shirt moved.

“So, how long until you leave?” he asked, staring out the window into the garden in front of you.

“Two months. I’m leaving for Tokyo a month early to get set up,” you said dismally. Thinking about how little time you had left made a shiver run up your spine. It felt like there was a foot on your back pushing you to move on while you still held on to the last scraps of your childhood.

“Any closer to deciding on what you’re going to do?” you asked, shifting your eyes over to look at him. He was sprawled out on the floor, back resting against the side of the bed and lemonade glass in hand, slowly swirling the liquid inside. He shook his head, a slight, sad smile forming on his lips in response. Both of you felt the same way about high school ending-- you knew it was unavoidable but neither one of you liked the implications it held and the future it brought.

“Did you make sure to pick up all your equipment? You know Matsukawa was annoyed last year when you forgot your uniform,” you said, nudging his shoulder, trying to liven up the conversation. His eyes flicked over to you, giving you a fake exasperated look that contrasted the smile on his face.

“Of course, of course, Iwaizumi pestered me about it endlessly, there was no way I could forget,” he said, nudging you back a little harder.

“Say, why didn’t you ever join the team? You were always so invested in all of my games and practices.” You fixed your gaze back on the garden in front of you, feeling the jovial mood in the conversation seep out of the atmosphere as memories of things you missed out on flooded into your mind.

“I’m not sure,” you said truthfully, “I guess I was just too busy. I wish I had.” Oikawa nodded, letting out an “mmm” in response.

“Well, it doesn’t matter too much, I’m sure you’ll have a chance in college,”

“Probably, doesn’t feel the same though. I know it stupid but it feels like high school is the time when you’re supposed to do things like that. Makes it seem like I missed a lot of opportunities,” you said quietly, sadness seeping into your tone.

“I doubt that, you were always a hardworking student so if anything you just prepared yourself more for the future. Things like clubs aren’t important,” Oikawa said, trying to lighten the mood. Even though he was usually able to distract you and cheer you up, you still felt the weight of your future still pressing on your emotions.

“I feel so left behind though, like I don’t have these core experiences that everyone else does,”

“I don’t think volleyball is that much of a core experience-”

“It’s not just that, there’s lots of stuff-- I was never in any clubs, I never made that cliche friend group you’re supposed to have, I’ve never even had a first kiss! Do you know how embarrassing that’ll be for me to go into college without even a first kiss?” you exclaimed a little louder than you wanted to. Tears pricked at the corners of your eyes but you quickly forced them away, returning to your depressed composure. There was no reason to get so emotional. You glanced over at Oikawa who had a surprised but concerned look on his face.

“I… I don’t know, I think this is all just weighing on me cause school just ended. I guess I don’t feel prepared,”

“It’s alright, I understand. I’m sure everything will get better in the next few months though.”

“Yeah, probably... I just wish I could go back and redo things, I feel so much regret…” you said, staring down at your drink, watching the condensation drip down the sides. You felt a little guilty putting this all on Oikawa, but you couldn’t quite shove away the depressing feeling that clung to you. There was an awkward pause and you felt Oikawa shift beside you.

“What would you go back and change?” he asked tentatively, meeting your eyes. You opened your mouth to answer but stopped when you realized you weren’t quite sure. You had never really thought about what exactly you would go and change, it felt like there was never really any point.

“I’m not exactly sure. I guess for starters I would go and join the volleyball team, then maybe try and connect with people more often. I was pretty standoff-ish most of the time wasn’t I,” you said, earning a chuckle from Oikawa.

“Makes sense, what would you do about that first kiss situation though? You seemed pretty distressed about that,” he said, a slight smirk forming at the corner of his mouth. You let out a small laugh, rolling your eyes and feeling heat rush to your cheeks. Out of all the things you felt you missed out on, that was the one you had actually given some thought to.

Over the four years you were in high school, you had multiple crushes on different people, but had never really been able to connect with them. At the current moment though the only one you remembered was the way you had liked Oikawa ever since elementary school. You had tried to build up the courage to confess to him back then, but once middle school hit and he got a girlfriend you buried your feelings as much as possible.

“I-I’m honestly not sure. There were a couple people I was interested in but I’m not sure anything would have ever really worked out with them.” You averted your gaze from him, trying to hide the blush forming on your cheeks, making you miss the intensity in his eyes as he asked you the next question.

‘Oh? Like who? Anyone I know?” he said, leaning forwards with a teasing grin on his face.

“I- I don’t think so, it wasn’t really anyone ever well known,” you said a bit too quickly, trying to blow it off with a slight laugh. You thought about all the times you had wanted to tell him about how you felt. You knew you had wanted to for so long, but was it even a good idea?

“Aw c’mon, can I at least get some names? You shouldn’t hold back information like this from your best friend Y/N,”

“I-... um-...” You couldn’t think of anything to say. The name of every guy you had ever known vanished from your head and the only one left was Oikawa’s. Your mind raced to try and think of something to say but nothing came to you. The room suddenly felt too hot and the noise from outside buzzed in your ears, distracting you from thinking properly.

“I-It’s a secret,” you said, regretting the excuse as soon as it came out of your mouth. Oikawa’s smile quickly dropped to be replaced with an expression that said “seriously?”

“We’re not even in school anymore, how can it be a secret?”

“It- It just is. I don’t want you to know, it’s embarrassing,” you said, becoming more aware of the hole you were digging yourself. There was no way you’d be able to lie your way out of this. The blush on your cheeks had transformed into a crimson shade that ran all the way up to your ears, showing that the words you said were lame excuses if it wasn’t already apparent.

“Come onnnn, it can’t be that bad, just tell me,” he said, poking you in the arm. Oikawa’s prying was becoming harder and harder to manage as you scrambled to find a way out of it. Your mind was barely working and had formed into a mess of pure panic. You wanted to give up and just tell him, but your mind was jumping from pros and cons too quickly for you to choose. You felt your breath hitch in your throat as you tried to answer.

“W-Well… it’s you.”

It felt like everything in the room stilled as soon as you spoke. The panic you felt before almost seemed to enhance and you felt a feeling of regret slam into you. What were you thinking? Your eyes flicked to Oikawa who was staring at you wide-eyed with his lips slightly parted in shock. Your lower lip began to tremble and your palms felt too sweaty where they were in your lap. Every atom in you felt the urge to run, but you were frozen in place. Fuck.

“W-What?” he said, finally breaking the silence.

“I-I’m sorry, pretend I didn’t say anything,” you blurted out, whipping your head back to face the garden. You started staring intently at a bush outside to try and concentrate on anything but the rising fear in your throat.

“You like me?”

“Y-Yeah…”

“Why didn’t you ever say anything?”

“I-I don’t know, I didn’t think you would reciprocate. W-Which it’s okay if you don’t...” you said, slowly shifting your gaze back to him, searching for any emotion on his face besides the intense stare he was giving you. You felt like your heart was about to pound out of your chest. Finally telling all of him this wasn’t as relieving as you thought it would be. Instead of feeling like a weight was lifted off your chest, being in this limbo had caused you to feel even more crushed by your decision. You closed your eyes and took a shaky breath, trying to calm down.

Faster than you could process, you felt his hand reach up to cup your cheek and his lips press up against yours. Your eyes shot open and you scrambled backwards, pulling away from the kiss.

“W-What are you doing?” you said, eyes wide and staring at Oikawa who was inches from your face.

“I-I’m sorry, I like you too, I thought it would be okay-” You didn’t let him finish his sentence as you slammed your lips back into his. Finally, you felt that wave of relief wash over you. Happiness swelled in your mind. You had to concentrate on keeping the corners of your lips from forcing your mouth into a smile. Your first kiss. Right then and there. It was all you could have ever hoped for and with the guy you had always dreamed it would be with.

You felt Oikawa’s arm move from its place on your cheek to reach around your back. He pulled you closer to him and you wrapped your arms around his neck, feeling his soft hair brush against your fingers. You melted into the kiss, savoring the warmth of his lips against yours.

He pulled back looking into your eyes as you let out an unsteady breath before smiling up at him. You could feel almost every part of you shaking from the adrenaline. You were lightheaded and found it hard to breathe, but you felt like you couldn’t be happier at that moment.

“So… would you like to be my significant other?” he asked, rubbing you back with his thumb.

“Yeah- yes please.” You beamed up at him, letting out a small laugh.

“You sure were surprised at that kiss, huh,” he said, a smirk coming across his features.

“Shut up!”

You gave him a slight push, both of you laughing as he held you in his arms, relishing the feeling of finally being with him.