#definitely took a trip down memory lane!

[thesacrificialdove]

𝐍𝐈𝐆𝐇𝐓𝐋𝐘 𝐒𝐔𝐑𝐏𝐑𝐈𝐒𝐄𝐒 1.6k words rich yandere x gn!reader — ko-fi | patreon | masterlist | inbox | taglist | home | req. & comms

tags sugar daddy, rich yandere, low-key obsessive behaviour, first meetings, college student reader, age gap, brief mention of a rapist (no description or anything more)

—📜" Being a broke college student, you decide to try your hand at getting a sugar daddy. You find someone who is... quite eager to know everything about you. It's weird because he doesn't seem to be the same person he was online.

They say to spend your youth on nightclubs and partying with friends. But really, they don’t know the true beauty of being in a jazz club and drinking all by yourself. There’s no ill intentions, there’s no partying until the sun goes down—just some nice music and good drinks.

People find it odd, sure. But nothing can beat this feeling for you. As you lay in a couch that’s worth double your college tuition, you drink champagne that's triple your college tuition. 

How you ended up here is another embarrassing story. Hunting for a sugar daddy online is a clear plan for destruction. It could end well with a decent allowance every now and then, of course. Yet, fear gets the most of you. The thought that you end up with a fat well and alive man who asks for sex with his small dick looms over you like a gloomy cloud. That fear is there because your sugar daddy is anonymous.

Sighing, you drink another sip of the champagne as you fix your posture. Again. The seat in front of you is still empty. You’d think he wasn’t really being honest with you but he did have a reservation ready for the both of you.

It’s not bad to wait. Even if you do look dumb getting stood up, at least you’re enjoying yourself.

“You lonely there?” someone asks behind you.

Turning your head behind you, you see a towering man with a smile so bright you think you could be blinded by it. He looks elegant—the way he’s holding a glass like a connoisseur and his long black hair pulled into a slick ponytail. Fuck, is he your sugar daddy? He looks the age for it and honestly, he aged really good.

You tell him, “Maybe. Are you lonely?”

He chuckles and takes the seat opposite. Finally. “No,” he says, “not anymore, at least. All thanks to…?” he gestures to you.

When you tell him his name, he parrots it like he’s tasting it. “Beautiful. Your mother picked it out?”

“I’m sure so,” you don’t know, who the hell would know that? “It’s a generational name, really. In our family we keep reusing names.”

“So are you the second? The third?”

The third was your great grandfather but he ended up being a rapist. Eugh. “The fourth,” you answer. “But I never tell anyone that, actually. Bit embarrassing if they call me the fourth, so.”

He laughs, somehow finding you amusing. “Nicolas,” he says, “very nice to meet you.”

Was… his name Nicolas? You’re not so sure about that. From the site he only revealed his last name so that you could get the reservation. Huh.

“Nice to meet you, Nicolas.” The little twitch in his lips is unavoidable to your eyes, “You look very nice tonight,” maybe that’s why he took almost an hour to arrive here. “Do you live near here or?”

“Oh, no,” he shakes his head, “I come from Bolzano. But I came here from Portofino, where my heart currently is.”

You nod like you know where those places really are. Italy, you assume. “Very nice. I heard it’s a beautiful place.”

“Beatiful even more with company,” he puts his drink down. “How about you? What makes you come here?”

You, actually. You wanted to go here. “I was raised by my grandfather and jazz was his favourite. Every corner of the house Hank Mobley would be playing. I have his old records that he passed down to me and whenever I play it, I can see the way he dances.”

“So, come down here for a little trip to memory lane?”

Before you could answer, you think about it even more. The man you were talking was definitely not Italian, right? No, his name sounded British, at most. And Nicolas sounds like he has little to no knowledge about the fact that you two are supposedly on a date.

Fuck, did you get him wrong? I mean, he is interested, you think.

“Yeah, it’s nice,” you hum. You put your glass down too, clasping your hands. “I think I do need to go now. It was nice to have your company—”

“Going so soon? A bit rude especially if you came here to be mine for a price, no?”

You pause. Though you’re ready to leave this embarrassing meeting, you’re caught. You turn to him in confusion. So you were… wrong? Right? 

“Sit back down, this champagne is a bit too new to me.” He raises a hand and someone immediately finds their footing beside him. Nicolas speaks in his own tongue, requesting something you don’t understand.

You’re promptly back on your seat with a small wave of his hand. “Come on, I think we have a lot to learn about each other. But I know you.”

Did he send in a private investigator or what? Fuck, man. You didn’t think that those things were real in real life. “How much do you know?”

He doesn’t answer. His legs are crossed as he watches the busboy leave to prepare your drinks. “How are your classes?” he asks, making idle conversation of things you’re a bit worried to talk to him about. “Hope you’re dealing well.”

“Yeah,” you say, unsure of this now. “It’s all fine, yes. Just a few projects and classes.” You wonder for a moment how rude it would be to ask for a price on your body right now. “Nothing interesting, really.”

“I’m sure anything you say is of interest,” he says, all too fond of you. “Tell me, love, you mentioned having difficulties with some of your professors.”

He wasn’t interested in all that before when you were talking. “It’s fine. Well, not like I can say no. It’s a bit hard when you’re paying for an education and you’re not being taught,” you laugh, “Self-taught learning, he excuses.”

“That’s simply lazy,” he excuses. “Fine arts is such a nice career path. No reason to be dismissive of students who want to learn it.”

Did you tell him what you’re studying?

The busboy returns and brings a drink to the both of you. The song changes and it sounds familiar. You could almost see your grandfather dance behind Nicolas.

“I’m going to guess that’s your doing,” you say, “Thank you. It sounds lovely.”

He smiles, “I’m not one for jazz myself.” He reaches for his glass and swirls in, taking a whiff of its scent afterward. “But I’m curious as to who you are. How you grew up is one of those things”

When the both of you talked online, you expected him to be more lustful than this. Maybe it’s the repeating innuendo in his messages. All of that persona is gone now as if it never existed. It’s concerning.

Both of you make small conversation. Mostly it’s about you. He asks every little detail about you, asking for things that not even your friends would care about. It’s the little things.

‘Do you like soft cotton or silk?’ You don’t really know the difference but cotton is nice.

‘How often do you see your family?’ Every or so month, you’d wager. But you make sure to keep in contact.

‘What’s your thoughts on caged animals?’ A bit cruel, but you can see where it can stem from. Still, it’s cruel. You’d never do it.

The night come to a close when you start to feel a bit light-headed with the drinks you’ve ingested. Nicolas puts aside your glass as he stands to go on your side of the table. “Maybe it’s time to take a break tonight, love?”

You groan. “Yeah, I guess that’s fine now. I’m really thankful for tonight.”

“I’m glad,” he says, pulling you up and helping you walk. You don’t need it but it’s nice anyways. “I can take you back to your dorm, yes? You don’t need to worry about anything else when you’re with me.”

In your pocket, your phone buzzes. You don’t get to check it when Nicolas wraps both of his arms around your waist. He pulls you to the exit and you swear you hear ‘Signore Giordano’ come out when the men bid him goodnight.

Which is weird, because his surname is Abbot.

The ride was a blur, literally. Maybe you’ve had too much to drink. The next thing you know is that both of you are in front of your dorm. It’s too dark outside. The streets are dead silent. The low rumble of his car is the only thing you can really hear.

He calls your name. “It’s time to go home. You can’t stay with me yet, love.”

You stretch in the seat. A car seat has never been more comfortable. “Been nice, really. Thank you.”

As you unbuckle your seat, he leans forward. His arm drapes over your shoulders as his hand comes to your face. “Then can I get a little reward? Just a little?” He turns his cheek, a grin on his face.

It’s stupid but oh well, he would pay you. You press a kiss on his cheek and he looks like the happiest man alive. He laughs, looking at you with stupid heart eyes. “Thank you. Call me with this number—” he places a card in your hands—”and delete that damn app. I’ll come find you after your classes tomorrow for your contract. You don’t need to find anyone else now.”

He leaves shortly after you get inside your dorm. You hear the revving of his car go in the quiet night. It’s relieving. You’re tired on your feet, unable to really process what happened tonight.

It’s whatever. It’s all done now.

You delete the app on your phone, swiping away a message you got from it. You’re pretty sure it’s from another match you had last time but again, you don’t need it anymore.

do not redistrubute this work as yours/without permission or feed to AI 📷 art by @ L0tus_Ren_ & @ Ivan Belikov

[letstalkaboutshtufff]

In another life pt 2

Pairing: Satoru Gojo x Reader

Summary: A visit to Nanami and trip down memory lane

Warnings: Language and suggestive themes but only a bit lol

Part 3

****************************************************

A/N: was so overwhelmed by the amount of love I received for part one!! Thank you all so much for the support😭🩵

“This is definitely a first” Nanamis gaze travelled up and down your body.

You shuffled uncomfortably from your place on the couch. Gojo stood leaning on the wall behind you.

“Yeah I’ve been hearing that a lot today..” you sighed.

“Hmm, well from what I know. This curse has been known to travel through dimensions, which is why he’s been so hard to catch in the past. He disappeared several years ago after somehow escaping from a seal. Looks like he ended up in your universe.”

“That makes sense, it was only a couple years ago he appeared and Satoru subdued him. A couple months ago he told me he found some weird residual energy on the seal but otherwise everything was ok… I guess the theory of the spy was correct but…” you brought a hand to your chin.

“Go on” he encouraged.

“We placed three seals on them. There’s no way an amateur broke through them… I wonder if he has any clue on who it could be...”

BZZT BZZT BZZT

“Another call?” Gojo tilted his head forward.

You picked up the phone and read “Weird Bangs” well speak of the devil!

“Nope just a text.”

-Hey you ok? Satoru just told me what happened. Don’t worry, we’re investigating as we speak. We’ll have you home in no time.

You smiled warmly and replied,

-Thanks Sugu, I have complete faith in you two. And don’t worry I’m ok.

“Anything important?”

“Not really, Sugu was just checking in. By the way, is he on a mission or something? I haven’t sensed your version of him yet. Unless you don’t have a version of him which would be honestly so weird since I swear you two are like your own couple..”

Little did you know the room had gone from warm to freezing cold.

“What did you just say…”

“Huh?” You tensed seeing the mood was a bit off now.

“Wait…don’t tell me he’s…dead?” Instant dread washed over you.

“No..he’s very much alive…” (excuse me while I change the timeline a little)

“Then what’s-“ you tilted your head.

“Nanami, what can you tell us about the curse transporting other people?”

You blinked at his sudden change in topic.

“Honestly nothing.” Your shoulders slumped.

“Really?”

“Yes but I promise I’ll do everything in my power to ensure you get home safely”.

“Thanks Nanami…” you tried not to feel to sad, after all you had so many people working hard to figure it out.

“Well it’s getting late, why don’t we continue this tommorow, Nanami you’ll reach out if you find anything yeah?”

He nodded, “I’ll dig into some of the old archives, and let you know what I find.”

“Thank you Nanami” you smiled and followed gojo out of the room.

“So what now?” The sun had set and you realized that for the first time in years you were not going to sleep in your own bed, cuddled next to your husband.

“Well… I could take you to one of the spare dorms here but considering the curse is still out there I think it’s best if you stick with me”

“So back to your place?” Haha that takes you back.

“That ok with you?”

“Mhmm” not like I’m used to anything else but being with you…

“Ok then, hang on” he touched your shoulder and suddenly you were transported to a place that smelled like fresh linen and his cologne.

“Oh wow this takes me back” you flicked on the light and took in the old place.

Gojo raised a brow that you seemed to know your way around.

“I take it you’ve been here before?”

You nodded fondly while taking in the place once again, “yeah, we spent so much time here back while we were dating…I lived in a really crappy apartment that you had to bend down in.” You laugh at the memory.

You turn to look out the floorlength window and promptly scream.

“AHH is that me!?!? Have I looked like this all day!?!” You could barely see your skin it was covered in dirt and grime from the previous fight and your hair was basically inviting birds to make it their home.

“I need to shower…” ah crap I didn’t think to stop and get clothes.

“I’ll find you some clothes… the shower is over the-“ but you were already beelining towards the bathroom eagerly to wash the filth off of you.

“Right you already know… so weird” he crossed his arms.

The second the steaming water hit your body you sighed in relief. It took a good 15 minutes for the water to run clear.

Using his body wash sure took you back to the days you’d sleep over. Those days were some of the best of your life. Watching movies late into the night, eating junk food, making out, falling asleep tangled together…

You shut your eyes before the tears could come.

No, none of that, you had the best and strongest people on the case. You’d be home soon, so let’s think of this as a weird mini vacation.

After your shower you dried yourself off and peeked into the bedroom where the door connected to. Sure enough you found a set of his pjs on the bed.

His shirt engulfed you, looking more like a dress. You thought for a moment to forgo the pants but realized you probably shouldn’t go pantless and underwearless around new Gojo.

Once you were decent you stepped outside into the main living space.

A delicious aroma immediately invaded your senses.

Wait… no fricken way!?

“You cook!?!?”

“Huh?” Gojo paused to look back over his shoulder. “Of course I cook… does your Gojo not?”

“He- he tried once but burnt everything… and anyway I’m home way more so I usually do the cooking..”

“Well I hope you like seafood, I haven’t gone shopping yet so there wasn’t really many options.”

He turned back to the stove to continue stirring.

You sat on one of the counter barstools and watched him in awe.

He even has the towel thrown over his shoulder and everything...

“So tell me about other Gojo. How did you guys meet?”

“Well… actually it’s kind of embarrassing…”

“Oh well now I have to know”

“Well I was jogging by this old elementary school and this curse popped out. It was so cute tho it looked like a super fluffy puppy. And then suddenly you popped in, ready to blast it to smithereens when I jumped in front and defended it….” He paused his stirring and looked over at you again.

“Yeah I know.. it was crazy but the curse really wasn’t that bad. So anyway I picked it up and started running away from you…”

“Pfft seriously?”

“Yeah… you should’ve seen your face haha. I made it about 10 steps before you warped in front of me”

*Flashback*

“Uh listen lady, that thing your holding is very dangerous so it’s best if you-“

“No way!”

“Huh?”

“No way, he’s just a little baby, he hasn’t hurt anyone!” You hugged the curse tight to your body and for some reason the curse seemed… relaxed?

“Lady… it’s a curse.. we can’t exactly just leave it to roam free..”

“Well then….”you thought for a moment..

“I’ll keep it!”

“You’ll keep it…” he repeated to himself in disbelief

“Mhm hm” you nodded.

“Uh…” he watched you snuggle the curse closer and the curse for whatever bizarre reason seemed content.

“It hasn’t hurt anyone has it?”

“Not that I’m aware of..”

“Then it’s settled! I’m keeping him.”

“Uh…”

“Don’t worry, I have some skill in exorcizing curses if anything goes wrong but it won’t will it little cutie?” You rubbed under its chin and it started to purr.

“Ok so you’re serious…uh well here’s my number… in case he decides to turn murdery and you can’t handle him”

You smile and hand him your phone, when he hands it back you glance down and let out a little gasp.

He smirked, you must’ve realized who he was now.

“You have the same screensaver as me! I love that show!!”

Oh

“Haha well it is a good show, even if the heroine sucks.”

“What- what did you just say?! She’s the best one!”

“No way, if you ask me the best friend should be in the spotlight.”

“That snobby bitch? No way” you made a face.

“Snobby? I see it as confidence.”

“You must’ve gotten knocked in the head too many times by a curse..”

“Well it doesn’t really matter, I think she’s gonna take that job in the next episode.”

“Wait you think so? As much as I hate her, she makes the story interesting.”

“Yeah I-“ BZZZT BZZZT BZZZT

“Ah sorry hold on”

You watched him turn and take the call. Looking at him now, even without seeing his eyes you could tell he was good looking.

“Sorry, duty calls. Make sure to call me if…that thing suddenly decides to eat you ok?”

“I will, thanks”

He whooshed away and you looked down at your phone.

Satoru Gojo….

Oh my god

No fucking way…

He had the same name as your favorite book character! What a small world…

“Alright cutie, let’s get you home. I wonder what you eat?”

*End flashback*

“Don’t tell me you still have that thing?”

“That thing has a name and his name is cutie. And to this day he hasn’t hurt a fly! Well actually that’s a lie because he does eat all the bugs around the house.. but other than that he’s harmless. He does chew the furniture though..” awe I hope he’s ok..

“You’re a little strange you know that?”

“You’re one to talk..”

“Hey, you shouldn’t insult the hand that feeds you.”

“You’re right sorry chef” you bowed jokingly then went to grab plates to set the table.

“Oh I hope you don’t mind me touching stuff.” You retracted your hand afraid he might get upset.

“Be my guest.” He waved nonchalantly.

Ten minutes later you were sat across each other.

“Oh lemme grab some drinks” he stood up and disappeared into the kitchen again.

You nodded and began plating your dish and his. His having three times the portion like usual.

Gojo came back and sat down with his mouth slightly open.

You realized your mistake and felt heat rise to your cheeks. “S-sorry it- I did that out of habit. Didn’t mean to make you feel weird..”

“It’s fine it’ll just take some getting used to is all…” he smirked and dug in.

“Thank you for the meal.” You twirled your fork around the shrimp and pasta and took a bite.

Oh

Oh

Oh hell no

“Something wrong?”

“Satoru this is amazing… like really really amazing”

“Glad you like it”

“No but seriously this is so good…Why can’t my version do this??”

You took another bite and swooned, maybe you’d leave your version for this one…

BZZT BZZT BZZT

“Oh it’s you! Well other you..”

“Satoru?”

“Hey babe you doing alright?”

“Yeah, I’m alright… we met with Nanami earlier, he said he’s going to do some more research and let us know if he finds anything..”

“Same here, Suguru and I are tracking the curse down but it’ll take a little bit of time, he’s a slippery one that’s for sure”

“Mm, sorry for putting everyone through this trouble…”

“Don’t worry, I have plenty of ways you can make it up to me later”

“Ah geez I need to stop putting you on speaker..”

“You’re not alone? It’s pretty late..”

“Yeah well other you thought it would be best to keep me close for safety reasons. I’m here at the old penthouse actually.”

“….”

“Toru?”

“You’re with other me?”

You blinked. “Uh yes?“

“Hey other me!”

You tilt the phone closer to this Gojo so he can hear better.

“Uh yes?”

“I know it’s tempting but no canoodling my girl alright?”

“S-satoru!”

“Not even a little touch, I mean it.”

“Satoru what are you talking about?! I just met the guy!”

“And? Do you remember how I was back then?”

“Well...” yeah a manwhore..

“Oh yeah and another word of advice, no girls over to the place. She gets suuuuuuper jealous, one time she even told our pet to attack and-“

“I did not! That was-!-you know that was an accident!”

“Mhmm sure”

“You know cutie feeds off my feelings, I didn’t tell him to bite her arm!”

“Of course sweetheart of course..”

“You- what about that time you hijacked my date!”

“That was purely coincidental, I was in the area.”

“Sure you were…”

“Anywhoooooo, did you take your meds?”

“Y-yeah”

“Liar”

“Hey make sure she gets those pills, she’ll faint without them and I don’t need her falling into anyone else’s arms”

“S-satoru good night already, I’ll talk to you later…”

“Alright sorry, you know I worry. Night baby, don’t feel too lonely without me”

*click*

“Ugh annoying jerk” you words didn’t match your soft tone.

Gojo leaned back in his chair and scanned your form.

Did he? Did a version of him really fall in love and settle down. You were certainly beautiful but he’d been with a lot of beautiful women.. did your strength draw his attention? He supposed he hasn’t seen you fight yet, maybe he would fix that soon..

“Oh uh sorry you had to hear all that again, I hope it’s not too weird”

“Well I’m not gonna lie and say it’s normal but..”

You smiled and brought another forkful to your mouth.

“Thank you for everything, really… you don’t even know me and you’re doing all this..”

“Well hey don’t worry about it, any alter ego/universe me’s wife is a friend of mine”

“Heh thanks” glad to know all Gojos humor are the same across universes.

After dinner you helped clean up and were lounging on the couch while Gojo went to shower.

He wouldn’t mind if you turned on the tv right?

So far this Gojo was 99.8 percent a carbon copy of yours so no he wouldn’t mind.. plus tonight the new episode of “Wishing I was yours” was airing and you couldn’t miss it..

And that’s how Gojo found you 20 minutes later, arms wrapped around your knees cuddling a pillow, tearful eyes glued to the TV screen.

‘No! No you can’t leave me. You can’t give up after everything we’ve been through’

‘Forgive me my love, you’ll have to continue this journey without me…’

‘No! I need you!!’

‘I’m only going to put you in danger… it has to be this way… I’m sorry’

‘Noooooooooooooooo!’

How can she watch this crap…

Gojo made his presence known and stepped in front of the couch.

“Oh hey, I-i hope it was ok that I- ah no don’t go!!” Your focus was quickly redirected back to the gripping scene. You groaned when the credits rolled.

“Dammit you were right about the ending…now I have to do that thing… ugh” you mumbled into the pillow.

Gojo couldn’t help but be curious what that thing was but stayed quiet.

“Don’t tell me that I actually watch this kind of stuff?”

He sat on the other end of the couch watching as you paused the tv and turned towards him.

“Well not at first but we worked out a deal, every week we watch one of my picks and one of your picks… but ugh you always choose the scariest stuff…”

“Better than unrealistic lovey dovey crap…”

“Unrealistic?? Says the one who spouts the most corniest lines 24/7”

The title screen for another episode started playing and he swiftly grabbed the remote.

“Allow me to show you what true cinema is.”

Uh oh, you had a bad feeling about this..

1 hour later

“Ah no way no way no way” Gojo smirked watching how you hid behind a pillow shaking like a leaf.

“Oh come on, it’s not even the scary part yet…”

“Liar! Ew ew ew I accidentally looked again”

“Human snake vs Octogator is a masterpiece , you’re insulting one of the greatest films of all time!”

“You just chose this because you knew it would scare me!”

“Lady I barely know you, is that something I would do?” He smiled, glowing eyes peeking behind his glasses.

“Yes, that is exactly what you would do..”

Well you sure did seem to know him he was realizing more and more…

After the movie you were basically half asleep so Gojo decided to call it a night.

Sleepily you rose up and followed after Gojo to the hallway. But instead of turning right to the guest room you automatically turned left to his room and bumped into his back.

“Huh”

You froze, eyes shooting up to his.

“A-ah s-sorry!” Embarrassed you darted to the guest room and shut the door.

BZZT BZZT BZZT

Hm?

*NEW MESSAGE*

-Since you’re all alone, use this to tide your appetite over xoxo

*image loading*

“Ah-!”

The heat rose to your cheeks immediately.

(I’ll let you imagine what kind of picture he sent lol)

-Don’t send anything back tho ok? Don’t want the creep next door spying on you and catching a glimpse of my pretty girl~”

-he’s in another room obviously..

-wait he wouldn’t look through the walls with his eyes would he??

-would- did you ever do that??

-ah gotta go baby, the line is bad, nighty night!

-We’re texting idiot, what line?! And answer the question!!

-xoxo 💋

Ugh jerk… you threw the phone on the bed then slowly got in the unfamiliar bed.

You hated sleeping alone… even when he was out on overnight missions you were surrounded by his scent, his clothes, his everything…

You grabbed a pillow and snuggled it for comfort.

“I miss you idiot…”

Part 3

***************************************************

Aaaaaaand that’s chapter 2! What did you guys think about Suguru’s mention hehe. The angst boat is coming y’all, but first came a little fluff before the storm. Please lemme know what you thought! Until next time!

@gojosatorulover7 @goaway-plzz @goldenglow149 @taakt17 @kneesheee @yumii-34 @ritsatoru @generalstephkenobi @author20 @bitchycloudstrawberry @hojoslutoru

[idkwhatimdoinghere1655]

Birthday Buddies - Max Verstappen

<word count - 3009>

"OK Maxie, here you go," you said, handing him the envelope with his name scrawled on the front. "Thank you, my love," he smiled, running his fingers under the flap to open it. He eyed you suspiciously as he didn't see a card in the envelope, instead seeing a folded piece of paper. 

Unfolding it, he saw the words written on the page. 'Max, as you know, today is your birthday! You're 26, and have already achieved so much, and I am so proud of you! To find your gift, you have to use your brain a bit... So, your first clue is the place we went on our first date,'

"Making me use my brain... Honestly, my love?" he sighed.

"Yes, now, take me to where we had our first date," you smugly smirked. Max figured he may as well play along. You had planned it all out, and he already knew you had put a lot of effort into it. Plus, it was your birthday too, so he had to listen to you just as much as you listened to him. 

"OK, OK, follow me," Max smiled, taking your hand and leading you out of your apartment. He took you through the winding streets of Monaco, the sun slowly setting over the city. You arrived outside of a small cafe that he took you to, because it was out of the way of the world and you could get to know each other, without the prying eyes of the world on you. 

"Good job Max, you have unlocked the next clue!" You smiled, handing him another, identical envelope as he opened it. "So you could just let me skip straight to the end, but you're choosing not to?" 

"Where's the fun in that? I thought it would be fun to take a trip down memory lane," you said, the both of you remembering the magic that was your first night out. Max thought it was a nice idea, since you had done a lot together since you had started going out, and these were definitely some of his favourites. 

He thought he had blown it after your first date, since he was a stuttering, babbling mess due to how much he liked you. He could barely hold a conversation without being gobsmacked that you were there with him. 

He just couldn't get over how much he liked you, but he thought he had ruined any chances with you. Little did he know, you found it endearing how nervous he was. "Yeah, I guess it is fun," he nodded, unfolding the next piece of paper. 

'Well done, but you're not quite near the finish line yet. Next spot: Where did we have our first kiss?' he read outloud. "You really have to make this a bit harder, these are too easy," he shook his head, taking your hand again. 

It wasn't too far away from the cafe, and it was out on the marina. Some of the boats had their lights on, and the buildings behind you were also lighting up. "You're not in the right spot, hang on," he said, placing his hands on the sides of your arms and shifting you so you were stood by the exact palm tree on the marina yacht club walk. 

"There, we are in the perfect spot," he said, standing in front of you. He remembered gazing at you as you looked out on all of the boats, your eyes glittering under the marina lights. You were entranced by the way the sea sparkled, and how the boats gently bobbed on the surface of the water. 

There was no resisting the urge to kiss you when you noticed him staring, and it was the best decision he had ever made. He drowned in the feeling of holding you close, getting to have his lips against yours. It was like sparks flew whenever he touched you. 

"Yes we are, meaning you get the next clue," you smiled, the memories making you feel drunk with happiness. "OK, this is kind of a two in one," you told him, fishing the next envelope out of your bag. 

'You can't have possibly forgotten this one, because I know I can't, and I don't think you'll ever let me! Take me to the first place that you told me you love me...' he read, a smirk dancing on his lips. "Oh I will never forget this one," he smiled, grabbing your arm.

You were almost reluctant to put this as a clue, since it was a bittersweet memory. Max had taken you to the most beautiful restaurant you had ever seen, and it was still one you frequented now. 

Then, he had taken you on a short walk around the streets of Monaco, before stopping you at a bench by the sea. He was so nervous, since he was about to tell you his feelings. You, on the other hand, were nervous because you were sure you were going to throw up. 

You had felt off all day, but you weren't going to cancel on Max, so you just grinned and bore it. But now, your actions were proving to have consequences. As Max stopped you by the bench, you remembered every little detail of the events that unfolded.

He sat you down, just like he did two years ago, and took your hands. As the both of you thought back to that night, it was as if it were yesterday. Max looked beyond nervous as he looked at you, terrified you weren't going to feel the same way.

Current Max started to stutter, reenacting the moment. "So, Y/N, I... Uhm-" he fumbled, jittering around just like he did. "I love you," he blurted out, and you could have sworn you were back there. "I-" you started, before turning around and pretending to wretch into the bin behind you. 

In the memory, Max didn't care that he could have just ruined everything and simultaneously embarrassed himself, he just cared that you were OK. He rushed to your side, before sitting you back down. 

Now, he said the exact same line he had said, "Me saying I love you wasn't that bad, was it?" he said, and it caused a smile to form on your face both times. "I do love you Max, I just feel awful," you said, leaning into him like you always did.

"That was a weird night," he smiled.

"It was. I was surprised you still loved me after that one, it was the worst timing possible," you laughed, looking at his dazzling smile. "I couldn't fall out of love with you for something so small, I was just relieved you felt the same, my love," he said, waiting for the next clue.

"Next up, the penultimate clue," you said, handing him the final of the normal envelopes for the night. 'Since it's your birthday, it wouldn't be a birthday treasure hunt without sending you to the place where we found out we have the same birthday!' 

"This has been the easiest treasure hunt I have ever been on," he smirked, walking off and expecting you to follow him. You had picked all the spots quite close together, so that you wouldn't have to walk too far. 

"OK, here we are," he said, just stopping in the middle of the street. It had simply come up in conversation when you were walking and talking, and the two of you were both shocked, but also excited. 

Ever since, you both went all out to have the best day the both of you could ask for. "Any reason you sent us here or?" he asked, rocking back and forth on the spot. 

"No, I just thought it was relevant," you shrugged, producing the final envelope of the excursion. "This one might be harder for you, but I don't know," you told him, handing him the golden object. 'Finally, take me to the place where I first fell in love with you,' it said.

Max looked confused, and you could see the cogs turning in his mind. "I would have remembered if you had told me where this was," he said, not moving from the spot as he thought. 

"Would you like a lifeline? You can phone a friend, take the bonus clue, or have me point you in the right direction," you told him. 

"I'll take the bonus clue," he decided, waiting for whatever it was going to be. 

"You have selected: 'Y/N's Bonus Clue!'" you enthusiastically said, revealing a blue envelope with a big, orange question mark adorning the front.  "Thank you, my love," he smiled, opening the envelope and looking more confused. 

'We've already been here today...' he read to you, taking a moment to think. It could have been any of them, really, but he went for the one he thought would be most likely. "OK, follow me," he skeptically said, taking you back to the marina yacht club walk, next to the palm tree where you had shared your first kiss. 

"Unfortunately, that is the first one you have gotten wrong today. You can still use one of your life lines, those being phone a friend or have me point you in the right direction," you told him, glad you hadn't made it too easy on him. "I'll phone a friend," he said.

"Alright then, phone a friend it is," you said, pulling your phone out of your bag and dialing a mystery number. Well, it was a known number, but you had changed the contact name to mystery number. "I thought it was phone a friend?" he said, taking the phone from you. 

"It is," you nodded as if it were obvious, the mystery person picking up on the other end of the line. "Hi, this is Max, I'm doing Y/N's treasure hunt, and I'm stuck on the last clue. I've been told you might be able to help me?" he asked, feeling positively ridiculous. 

"Hi, yes I can," the person tried not to burst out laughing, "You need to take her to the place where you first figured out she was the person you wanted to spend your life with," he laughed, remembering when Max had told him that. He had found it unbelievably cheesy, yet sweet at the same time. 

"OK, thank you Lan- I mean mystery person, I appreciate it," Max giggled, now knowing where to take you. "Right, off we go," he said, leading you to the final destination. He was hoping the mystery person wasn't wrong, because that would be embarrassing. 

"Here we are," he hummed, stopping you back outside the cafe that was your first place. "I think the mystery caller sent me to the wrong place," he sheepishly said, rubbing the back of his neck. Surely you hadn't loved him since your first date, right?

"No, you're at the right spot," you reassured, letting him figure it all out in his head. "What was the clue, Max?" you prompted. 

"The place you first fell in love with me," he recited, the pieces still not fitting together in his mind. "And where are we?"

"The place we had our first date?" he said, and it sounded more like a question due to his unsurity. "Exactly, because I've always loved you. Even if I couldn't put a name to how I felt back then, now I know it was just because I had never loved anyone as much as I love you," you smiled.

"Thank you, my love, that was beautiful," he smiled, trying to contain tears at how much your words had touched him. "As for your gift, it's back at home," you said, and nothing happened. "I said, as for your gift, it's back at home!" you shouted, craning your neck so your voice would carry further around the corner. 

A man appeared from around the corner, a hood pulled up over his eyes. He dropped something by your feet, and you picked it up. "Sorry, excuse me, you dropped this," you said, but the man kept on walking. "Well isn't that strange," you said, handing him the black, leather book that the man had dropped. 

"It is, isn't it?" Max joined in, catching onto the act. He ran opened the cover, immediately realising what this was. It was a photo album, with all the pictures you had taken at those spots you had sent him to today, as well as others from other good times.

He ran his fingers over your features, noting how you hadn't changed at all in the two years you had been together. "There's not much you can do for a man who has it all," you smiled, hoping he liked it. "You're right, I do have it all, I have you," he said, cringing at himself internally.

However, you couldn't hide the goofy smile and blush that tinted your cheeks. "But this is the best gift you could have gotten me besides yourself," he said, flicking through the pages upon pages of memories, forever recorded through colour. 

"I'm glad you like it," you grinned. 

"Now come on, birthday girl, let's get you home," he smiled, tucking the album underneath his arm, looping the other around your waist as he lead you home. When you got to the door of your apartment, you noticed it was open. 

"I swore I locked this when we left..." You said, worried. You didn't want your birthdays to be ruined by someone breaking into your home. "Yeah, you did," he reassured, but he was awful at hiding the smirk on his face. 

Pushing the door open, you saw that the room was lit up in nothing but candles, and relaxing spa music was playing. "I didn't take you to a single spa while we've been globe trotting, so I thought the least you deserved was the at home Spa de Max," he explained, pushing you through the door. 

"Well I already think Spa de Max is better than any spa you could take me anywhere else," you told him, walking into the apartment. "I hope to live up to your expectations, so, go put this on, and your masseuse will be with you when you are ready," he said, handing you a fluffy white robe - just like in a spa. 

"OK," you zealously nodded, excited for what Max had in store. You did just as he had said, changing out of your clothes and into the robe. When you got back out to the living room, you saw the dining room table in the middle of the room, with what looked to be a mattress topper on top.

"Trust me on this, it is actually very comfy," Max said, standing beside the table. "On you get," he told you, and you clambered onto the table. "May I?" he said, slipping his hands into the robe by your shoulders. "Yeah, course," you agreed, letting him slip the soft fabric off your shoulders, and leaving the rest handing on you hips. 

"Lie on your front for me, my love," he said, as you maneuvered onto your front, resting your head on your arms. "Now just close your eyes, and relax," he instructed. Max dabbed some essential oils on his hands, before running them over the span of your back.

As he worked his hands into your muscles, you were trying not to fall asleep. "How did you know we'd be going out?" you asked, wondering how he had managed to sneak someone in to set the house up.

"Because your little helper is also my little helper. He told me we'd be leaving, so I sent him to set all of this up. But, don't worry, he didn't tell me a single detail about what we'd be doing," he reassured you, knowing you wouldn't want the surprise to be ruined.

"Our helper has been a busy boy," you slurred, trying to keep yourself awake by talking. 

"Aww my love, are you tired?" he teased, moving his hands up your neck and across your shoulders. "This is just so nice," you mumbled against your arms.

"Don't fall asleep just yet, you still have a few more experiences in Spa de Max," he said, his hands ceasing their movements. "That'll be hard to beat," you said, sitting up on the table. "Fine, I'll take that as a challenge," he smiled, 

When you stood off the table, Max pulled your robe back up and over your shoulders, tying the belt back up to keep you warm. "Tonight is finally the night I will allow you to put a face mask on me," he said, pushing you onto the couch and sitting next to you. 

"Really?!" You asked, gobsmacked. For some reason, Max had plainly refused to put on a face mask whenever you did, but now was your opportunity. "Yes, anything for the birthday girl," he smiled, even if it was his birthday too. The best gift for him was seeing you happy, after all. 

You tugged your headband out of your hair, slotting it onto his head as his blonde strands were pushed back out of his face. On the coffee table, Max had differents pots of face masks with pre-sliced cucumbers to choose from. "Which one?" he asked.

"I'll go for blue," you nodded as he picked up the blue pot, unscrewing the lid. Max just dipped his fingers in, practically slapping the thick substance onto your face. He slathered it around until he thought he had covered enough of the area. 

"Max, you have put it on so thickly, it'll never dry," you whined, seeing half the container was gone, meaning half was on your face. "Just means you'll be extra refreshed," he smiled, picking up the green pot and handing it to you.

You did the exact same to him, slathering more than two thirds of it onto his face, before trying to put the cucumber slices on his eyes. Before you could, he pulled you in for an affectionate kiss. "Happy birthday, my love," he smiled, tucking some of your hair behind your ear.

"Happy birthday to you too, Max, I love you," 

A/N - Happy birthday to Maxie! And to me so I guess that's fun... Have a great day!

|masterlist|

[sl33paholics]

Nicolas Brown Valentine's Day Headcanons!

Warning(s): None!

— Celebrating and spending the day with Nicolas is very interesting.

You'd wake up to the smell of breakfast. As you look rub your eyes, you see a plate in front of you with a bouquet of your favorite flowers laying right next to you.

As you look to your right, you see Nicolas sitting on a chair with his head resting on his palm with a small smile on his face.

Thank you. You'd gesture to him as you watched him chuckle, as your hand and fingers intertwined with his. Nicolas would soon move your hand towards his face, giving your back hand a smooch You couldn't help but smile sheepishly.

Since he is deaf, Nicolas would leave little notes or poems around for you to notice and read. Expressing each reason as to why he loves and cherishes you dearly.

Throughout the day, the silence between the two of you is golden. Nicolas doesn't seem like the type of person to do big celebrations. Simply being together and understanding one another is enough without sharing notes.

Nicolas would even take you back to places the two of you went out / first met. A trip down memory lane for the both of you, as the two of you guys get to reminisce the glorious days before making it official.

COOKING. TOGETHER. Words cannot describe how much I see Nicolas enjoying making your favorite meals / snacks. Feeding each other as the once cleaned kitchen is now a mess.

Nicolas would surpise you with some gifts! Gifting you items that could represent or reflect a certain moment in your relationship and possibly the near future between the two of you.

It'd even be a bonus if one of the gifts were handmade. Such as the big heart-shaped floral wreath that he handed over! Now, whenever you pass the door, you can admire the time and effort he put to make it beautiful.

Photo Album! You showed Nicolas all of the photos you took on your camera. Whether at the park, in the crib, or at your dates.

He really loves picnic dates. They're so simple, unlike having to stress yourself for arranging fancy dinners. Why not just go to a park and enjoy the outdoors while eating while displaying affection to the love of your life? Perfection combination.

— During the evening, a pampering session WILL be happening. No questions asked. Cuddling. A massage. Taking a bath together. Playing a game of cards. Anything! It's a good thing to help Nicolas unwind after doing jobs with Worick or the mafia.

Slow dancing. Even though he cannot hear, he can definitely feel the vibrations coming from loudspeakers as the two of you dance in your small shared bedroom.

Nicolas is the type of guy who doesn't seem to stay asleep. He HAS to venture out somewhere just because. It'd be the middle of the night, and he'll wake you up to come join him. At least the two of you get to enjoy an gaze upon the quiet serenity.

Coming back from the midnight stroll, he's instantly cuddling with you. Making sure the covers are shielding the both of you from the cold wind coming from the slightly open window.

Nicolas would kiss your forehead, as a sign of goodnight, watching you drift off to sleep. His arms around you tightening up. Nicolas swore to himself to protect you from any danger coming your way as he slowly fell back asleep. ❤️

[blossom-hwa]

memory lane | j.yh

I'm nearly two years late but in my defense I had this written for months already, I was just too lazy to create a graphic for it until now. anyway, this was sparked by the memory lane trip that dr. strange took in multiverse of madness - there are definitely spoilers (check the warnings below) and this story might be confusing if you haven't seen the dr. strange and spiderman movies so keep that in mind!

I made some changes to the plots of both movies, so bear this in mind - y/n instead of mingi (ned's counterpart) is the one with sorcery potential and later joins dr. strange at the sanctum, so y/n is the one who goes universe hopping with america chavez and ends up replaying memories they'd forgotten from when dr. strange erased all memories of spiderman (yunho). this story takes place after they've defeated wanda and returned to the sanctum. this should sum up the biggest changes, hope it helps :)

Pairing: Yunho x gender neutral!reader

Genre: angst (happy ending), Spiderman!au

Warnings: spoilers for the last Dr. Strange and Spiderman movies

Word Count: 5.3k

When you return to the Sanctum, armed with a name and the knowledge of a love you don't remember, you go searching for answers. 

Ateez Masterlist

When the dust has cleared at Mount Wungadore and they’ve all made it back to the Sanctum, it takes Strange a few hours to realize that there’s something wrong with his apprentice. Not just the exhaustion, not just the trauma of universe hopping and fighting the most powerful witch in all of the infinite number of universes in existence—that would be normal. This is something different. Something darker.

Something more broken.

“Dr. Strange,” you say later that night when it’s just the two of you, everyone else gone to bed. Flames crackle in the fireplace, glowing weirdly on your face. “Do you remember what happened with Spiderman?”

He raises an eyebrow. “Spiderman?” He knows you were there, remembers that’s how he became aware of your potential for sorcery, but you’ve never really talked about it.

“Yeah.”

He tells you what he remembers. A spell, rips in the universe, a vigilante who wouldn’t let the aberrations die. The mirror dimension, hanging over the Grand Canyon for way too fucking long, and a second spell to right the wrongs of the first.

You take it all in silence, not a single question asked until the end. “Do you remember what the second spell was?”

He looks at you. You don’t look back.

“No.”

“…Okay.”

He ends up leaving first, exhaustion pulling his eyelids down to the point he can barely keep them open as he climbs up the Sanctum’s stairs. He tells you to rest, and you nod, but he’s still not quite certain you heard.

You probably didn’t. Because in the morning when he wakes, you’re gone, only a text left on his phone to give any clue as to where you went.

Gone to visit a friend. I’ll be back. I’m fine.

Please don’t follow me.

. . . . .

Standing in front of the apartment door, an arm raised to knock, you feel like time has been frozen still.

“Memory Lane. Replay your significant memories, now at a discounted price! We remember, so you don’t forget.”

A boy in the spider-suit, face bloodied, eyes broken. A wavering smile on his lips that couldn’t disguise the tears rolling down his face. Hugging you and Mingi with arms so strong but trembling so much you could—you could almost feel them shaking around your shoulders. Eyes zeroing in on the wound on your head, a short gash that left the scar you could never for your life remember where it came from—

He saw it. And asked about it. And heard your babbled reassurances, instinctively steadying you on your bad leg (how did he know? How did he know if you never knew him?) as you and Mingi tried to speak, before saying the words you don’t remember.

“You’re going to forget who I am.”

You swallow hard, trying to reconcile the smiling boy you’d met during your third fight ever with the broken, bloodied man standing before you in that moment. They had the same suit—nearly. Not quite. But they had the same face. The same eyes.

And though you didn’t have a name then, now you do.

“I love you.”

“I love you, Yunho Jeong.”

You loved a boy whose name you don’t know. And he—

He loved you too.

Nausea rolls in your stomach. Your arm has begun to ache from holding it up for so long, but you can’t bring yourself to knock. What if he refuses to hear you? What if he doesn’t want you to remember, doesn’t want you to ask? What if he just isn’t home? You don’t know if you could find the courage to come back again. You can already feel the adrenaline high of the past few days beginning to fade, that initial burst of anger and courage (or was it foolishness? Right now you can’t quite tell) falling away to reveal your confused and broken core.

Your sight blurs, the four numbers marking Spiderman’s door (Yunho’s door, your brain corrects you, and it’s unsettling how easily the name seems to roll off the tongue of your mind though you know you never knew it until the trip down Memory Lane) swimming in your vision. One zero two four. You remember it from the day you walked him back, one of his arms slung around your shoulders, one leg broken and propped up by a cast of your own magic.

The moment had felt—familiar, you remember. Vaguely. At least in the way his tired laughs left his lips, in the way he joked about the villain who had left him in this state, in the way he thanked you as he lay on his bed, the magic cast fizzling out of sight, his reassurance that he’d be healed by morning. It had felt easy, somehow. Like you’d done this before, or something similar.

At the time, you’d brushed it off as Spiderman’s charisma with everybody. The times you interacted with him, watched him fend off villains and help the elderly cross the sidewalk in just two breaths showed you enough. That infectious laugh, the witty barbs, his charming easiness with every person he encountered, villain or no, weren’t special somethings reserved for you, which you reminded yourself in the moments you thought that might be true.

But maybe it was true. That trip down memory lane told you that you knew him even before you did. Knew Spiderman, knew him deeply, knew him well enough to know his name, Yunho Jeong—

Knew him enough that you could kiss him and tell him you loved him, twice, even without the promise of a response.

“Wait. Wait and tell me when you see me again.”

He’d promised. With a nod, and a smile, and words said before that you know from the memory but still don’t remember. He’d said it, sworn it—

“It’s okay. I’m gonna come and find you and—and I’ll explain everything. I’ll make you remember me.” A deep, rattling breath. “And it’ll be like none of this ever happened.”

Yet he never came to find you. For what reason, you don’t know. But you found him. Over and over, you found him—during fights, on trips to the bodega, several times in the Sanctum. And he never said anything.

The ache of a memory that is yours but isn’t thuds dully in your chest. You need to know if it was real. And it if was…

You need to know why he never returned.

Your knuckles rap the door sharply—once, twice, three times. Something clangs and there’s a loud curse in a voice you properly remember, not just know from your trip down memory lane.

Footsteps sound. Something clicks in the door. You have just one moment to prepare yourself before it swings open—

Yunho Jeong’s face stares at you, confused, kind, smiling. If you hadn’t been watching so carefully, you would’ve missed the millisecond of hope and panic that flashed across his eyes that confirms everything you’ve conjectured so far.

You’re not sure how to feel about it.

“Good morning?” He laughs a little, and he’s so good at acting—so damn good, did he take acting classes before? Not that you would’ve known since you only got that one significant memory before you shoved America Chavez on, but you want to grab his shoulders and shake him hard enough to tug those memories loose and plant them back in your own damn head—

“Yunho Jeong.” You take a step forward. “We have a lot to talk about.”

. . . . .

His eyes are guarded when he lets you in the door, but he lets you sit on the couch before he lets loose with a question, more of a statement, of his own. “You know my name.”

You probe his gaze carefully. For once, it flickers as you stare at him, a shard of that steady, easy confidence he’s always had (was there a time he didn’t have it? Were you there when that was the case?) chipped and dropped into somewhere unknown. He doesn’t flinch away, though, not like you originally expected him to.

Maybe it isn’t just paranoia and caution behind those guarded walls, your mind whispers. Maybe there’s a bit of hope, too.

The thought is too much for you to handle, so for all your original bravado you’re the one who looks away first. “I do.”

Spiderman’s—Yunho’s—voice nearly trembles with how carefully he measures his next word. “How?”

You take a deep breath. How do you even start?

“I recently took a…trip, of sorts, with Dr. Strange.” Not really—it was more so just with America, but Spiderman doesn’t know America and you probably shouldn’t be telling anyone about her until Dr. Strange gives the okay. “Went universe hopping. Mostly unintentionally.” Ignoring Spiderman’s—Yunho, Jesus fucking Christ—sharp intake of breath, you continue. “One of them had a curious feature called Memory Lane. For a price, it would replay your most significant memories.” You swallow. “I got a…free trial, of sorts.”

The silence that follows your statement hangs heavily in the air. Never, not once in the time you’ve known him (at least not the second time you knew him, if the first time even existed) did you think Yunho (it’s still strange how not strangely the name flows through your mind) could have let such a tension weigh the conversation—he’s always been so charismatic, so ready to smile and laugh and joke away any heaviness that came. Hell, even when he had a leg snapped into so many pieces only a cast of glowing golden threads was holding it together, he wore a smile on the way back. But in the face of your words, Yunho’s head has fallen, the strong shoulders tensed to snap, his clasped hands trembling underneath his chin…

He looks up, straight at you. His eyes have fragmented and the shards you see in them frightens you—that’s just not a look that belongs on Yunho’s face. He looks ten, twenty, thirty years older than he is (your age, he’d told you with the perfect amount of surprise and warmth on his face the day you’d told him, the first time you’d had more than a few minutes to get to know each other more), with the tortured memories of someone who’s lived through millennia. And, you realize with a pang, there’s a reason for that. Because if you forgot him, if Mingi forgot him, how many others did?

And if you meant so much to him in that life you don’t remember, how much has he had to keep to himself in order to keep you from knowing?

“What did you see?” he asks quietly, hands clasped so tightly his knuckles have turned white. “If it’s okay to tell me, of course.”

Tears bubble in the corners of your eyes. That gentleness, that consideration, feels so warm. So very warm and familiar.

“I was with you. And Mingi. We were hugging.” You swallow. “You looked…beat up, but you still asked about a wound on my head.”

Yunho’s gaze flutters in the direction you knew it’d go, just to the side of your right eyebrow. Your fingers itch to rise, to touch the scarred flesh that’s still there, but you hold your twitching hands still.

“And then you said we were going to forget who you were.”

He goes still at that, still as a statue. It’s funny—there have been a few times where you mused, internally of course, that Yunho’s face—just Spiderman at the time—could have been sculpted by one of the gods, should they exist. A beaming statue of a hero, waiting for thousands to thank and worship him. But now, as he stares at you with no expression on his face, stone still and truly a human statue if there ever was one…

You promise yourself never to make the statue comparison again, because the warm Yunho, the alive Yunho, is the only one you’d ever want to know.

Swallowing hard, you open your mouth. And close it. Not because you don’t know what to say, because you do—it’s just recounting a memory that isn’t yours, basically a scene from a movie, how hard could it be—but because when you try to speak, you can’t. Your voice is gone.

Yunho’s eyes are shiny. A little too shiny. And there’s a little too much hope in them, now, a hope that makes you want to dig yourself into a hole and have someone cover up the dirt behind you. Because—it’s not right, that hope, it’s not right because you know what Yunho wants isn’t what happened.

He speaks first. “You…remember?”

“I—” You dig your fingernails into your palms so hard it hurts. “I don’t.”

His face falls. Crumbles. And this time, unlike all the other times you didn’t understand before when he’d see you and you’d do something—anything—and his face would do something strange for a second before his easy smile came back up—

He doesn’t try to pull it back together.

“I—saw it.” Your mouth moves on autopilot, trying to patch up a situation you’re not sure you can but anything, anything to bring something back to Yunho’s face. Even the terrible hope was better than this. “I saw it—and—I can’t say I remember it, exactly, because I don’t, but it—it felt like it explained things.”

Yunho looks up. Just barely. But he does.

“You—I’m comfortable with you.” Once it’s out in the open, you realize how stupid it sounds, but you barge forward because who the fuck cares anymore. “And I know—I know a lot of people probably say that, but—even at that first fight, it was like…it was like I knew you a little. Somehow. Even though to my knowledge I had never seen you before.” You wince at how that must sound but Yunho doesn’t, his eyes now fixated more firmly on yours. “A lot of things felt…familiar. Just stuff like your laugh. Smile. The way we could banter and talk and I—just—fuck!” Your own vehemence startles you and you slap your palms to your eyes and to your surprise, you find tears meeting your skin.

Damn it, you really hadn’t intended to cry when you came here.

“Y/N?”

You swallow the lump in your throat, scrub at your eyes with the heels of your palms. “I’m sorry,” you say, and wow your voice sounds so much more ragged than you thought it was. “I’m sorry. I—it all sounds stupid. I don’t know how to explain it. I just know that…sometimes, being around you felt like déjà vu. In some weird way.” The lump in your throat seems bent on returning so you swallow hard again. “The memory that I saw. It made some things, like that, make sense. But other things didn’t.”

“…What didn’t?”

It takes everything left in you to meet Yunho’s gaze. The adrenaline rush of yesterday’s fight has finally faded away fully and you think you might collapse soon, but you force your voice to remain steady even as a stray tear makes it cold way down your cheek.

“Why didn’t you tell me?”

. . . . .

For a long moment, Yunho doesn’t speak.

“I…was going to tell you,” he finally says. “I was. When you still had your job at the diner, I was going to go in and…tell you everything. Like I’d promised to. I was—” He laughs a little, broken and fragmented. “I was right outside. I could see you. Mingi was at the counter, too.”

There were many days like those. You’re not sure which one this was. “I didn’t see you.”

“No, you didn’t,” Yunho agrees. “But I saw you. And I saw your scar.”

This time, you can’t stop your hand from touching the warped skin on your forehead.

Yunho’s eyes track the movement. “I had a whole speech written out, you know.” That same broken, fragmented laugh from before. “It was on a piece of paper. I was going to read it to you two. But I saw your scar and…you were laughing. You looked so happy. I couldn’t ruin that.” He smiles a little, but it doesn’t reach his eyes at all. “When you knew I was Spiderman, all it did was cause you pain. And harm.”

You open your mouth to refute, but you can’t. Because you don’t remember anything. Not at all.

“Something happened to just about everyone I cared about who knew my secret.” Yunho’s voice drops. “So I thought it would be better if you didn’t know. It would be better if no one knew. Just the way it was after that day.”

“But—Yunho, I—” Words trip over your tongue and for a moment you still can’t speak, not for lack of thought but for too much. “We—you didn’t give us a choice. How did you know we wouldn’t—”

“You were at the battle.” Yunho’s words cut through your own like a knife and you almost flinch. “A battle I caused because I was an idiot. You don’t remember what happened, do you?”

Slowly, you shake your head.

“I went to Dr. Strange with a request. To wipe everyone’s memory of the fact that Yunho Jeong and Spiderman were one and the same. So many shit things had happened to me—and us—because of Mysterio’s stupid fucking video. College admissions, people taking potshots at us across the street…” He takes a deep, shaky breath. “He almost did. But I kept interrupting with exceptions. People I still wanted to remember me. You. Mingi. Aunt Mei. Happy. And that…that messed the spell up.”

You sit silent, quiet as Yunho tells you about the multiverse, about the other villains who knew him but whom he’d never faced—at least not in this world. He tells you about Aunt Mei, how Osborn had found her, how she’d pressed it into him that all of them needed help, not just to be sent back to their respective universes to die, and how he’d decided she was right.

She had been right, Yunho stresses. But she’d paid for it. With her life.

There, Yunho stops talking for a moment. Puts his hands over his face and breathes deeply once, twice. When he finally looks up, his eyes look redder.

“I’m sorry.” You wince as soon as you say the words, how flat they fall in the silence. But the thing is—you knew Mei. Somewhat. You remember her face, her smile, her burned cookies—you remember her, if not necessarily her nephew. She was a good woman, one of the kindest people you’d ever had the luck to meet. “I…remembered her. Somewhat. Probably not as much as I would have…before, but…”

“Yeah,” is all Yunho says. “Yeah.”

He continues. Two Spidermen, two Yunho Jeongs from separate universes. They looked nothing like him and apparently you summoned them with rings stolen from Dr. Strange himself (so maybe some things are best left not remembered, because if Dr. Strange doesn’t remember this you’re not sure you want him to). Back in their own worlds, they’d faced the villains he’d failed to corral here. They worked together and there was a fight at the Statue of Liberty and you and Mingi were tasked with keeping the unbroken spell safe from Norman Osborn and later, Dr. Strange, too.

You failed.

“Osborn freed the spell,” Yunho says, grief and fury etched in every line of his face. “Broke the casing with one of his stupid little toys. And so all these people—villains, friends, I don’t know—from other universes started coming into ours. Dr. Strange couldn’t contain them.”

You’re starting to feel a little faint. “Oh my god.”

“Yeah,” Yunho breathes. “There was only one way to fix it. Everyone had to forget Yunho Jeong.” His eyes bore into yours.

Forget feeling faint. You think you’re about to be sick. “Everyone.”

“Everyone,” he repeats. A little dark laugh falls from his lips. “No exceptions this time.”

For a long moment, you sit in silence. All of this information—your brain was already exhausted from universe hopping and dealing with a crazy, grief-driven witch, and you got maybe three hours of sleep last night before you found your way here—it’s so much. Almost too much. Maybe you should’ve waited to confront Yunho, should’ve given it a couple of days of thinking before coming here all tongue-tied and stupid—

“But—Yunho. You promised to tell us. You promised to tell me and Mingi.” You can feel your face scrunching up like you’re about to cry again and you don’t need that, don’t need that right now at fucking all. “You could’ve told us—you didn’t have to go through this alone—”

“Yes, I did,” Yunho snaps. “It was my fault. All of this was my fault—”

“No, it fucking wasn’t!” you retort. “It was Mysterio’s fault—hell, it was mine and Mingi’s for not protecting the stupid spell enough—”

“No, it was mine, for trying to change something that couldn’t have been changed!” he yells. “I got the villains into our universe because I couldn’t think of anything beyond our fucking college admissions! I did a fuck up job of keeping the villains in line! I got Mei killed, I got you and Mingi injured, I caused so much trouble for Dr. Strange because I wasn’t thinking—”

“You were a kid!” you yell back. “We all were! Barely fucking eighteen! Not even college students, not even legal adults! And—Yunho! I may not remember anything, but I do fucking know that we never would’ve been coerced or something into helping you. You wouldn’t have done that! If we were helping you in that fight, it was because we agreed to, because we wanted to!”

“It doesn’t matter!” Yunho snaps. “It doesn’t matter that you wanted to! Because in the end, this was a fight that I started and that I should have ended myself! Instead, I got a whole bunch of other people involved and people were injured for it, people—people died for it, Y/N.” His face crumples, and he turns away.

All the fight leaves your body. You reach towards him, slowly take his hands in yours. To your surprise, he doesn’t tug them away.

“I wasn’t going to get you and Mingi killed off because I wanted you back,” Yunho whispers. “My fights were going to be on my terms and only mine. I know you fight now, as Dr. Strange’s apprentice—don’t bring that up with me. Those fights are your choices and on your terms.” Teary eyes look into yours and you can barely fight the urge to brush the wetness away. “It kills me to watch it happen, but that’s your choice. And I can’t interfere with that.” He takes a deep breath. “But I can interfere with the stuff that shouldn’t happen because it’s my fault.”

The anger starts to rise up in you once more. “You didn’t give either of us a choice in deciding that—”

“Right before Aunt Mei died, she told me something.” Yunho’s hands tremble in yours. “She said, ‘With great power, there must also come great responsibility.’”

You swallow hard.

“I don’t think I ever understood until then,” he says quietly. “Sure, I’d always known I had power, and I tried to use it well by being the friendly neighborhood Spiderman, you know. Protecting the little guy while others fight the big battles. But the responsibility…my lack of that is what started this whole thing in the first place.” Yunho swallows. “When I saw you and Mingi in the diner, and I made that choice. That was my responsibility. I wasn’t going to purposefully involve anyone else in my fights, my issues. Not now. Not anymore.”

One of his hands releases itself from yours. It rises toward the puckered scar, brushes it with a gentle touch. His fingertips tremble against your skin. “Do you know how you got this?” he asks, whisper soft.

Slowly, you shake your head.

“One of Osborn’s…gadgets, sliced you.” Yunho takes a deep, shaky breath, and you grip his hand harder. “And because of that, you—you fell. Right off the statue.”

You couldn’t speak right now, not even if you tried.

“You fell.” The words seem to rip themselves from Yunho’s throat and he looks away, his free hand covering his face for one, two awful moments before he turns back to you. “You fell, and I tried to catch you but Osborn knocked me out of the way midair, and it—it was only a miracle that one of the other Spidermen caught you. A miracle,” he repeats, almost as though he still doesn’t believe it.

This time you do reach up to brush the tears from his eyes. The movement feels so remarkably natural that you have to wonder how many times you made the same motion in a time before.

“I saw you with the scar. And suddenly I was there, watching you fall with no way to stop it.” Yunho squeezes his eyes shut. “I couldn’t have that happen again. Not to you. Not to anyone.”

His eyes open, and between the tears, all you can see is the certainty of his choice weighing dark in his pupils.

“Not because of me.”

. . . . .

Silence falls in Yunho’s studio apartment. The sun has risen, slats of pale light filtering through his windows, illuminating his face. In the glow of morning, Yunho’s young face only looks older.

And suddenly you feel guilty. So very guilty. You came to his apartment unannounced with a name in one hand, news you were certain he wouldn’t like in the other, and caused him pain. That was it. You forced him to relive all these memories, made him explain things he perhaps wasn’t ready to speak of, and yelled at him for a choice you’re not sure you would’ve made differently had you been in the same situation.

“I’m sorry,” you croak, throat suddenly choked. You drop his hands and step back, desperately trying to swallow your tears. “I—I shouldn’t have come.” Yunho’s eyebrows furrow, but you refuse to look at him. “It wasn’t my place to demand answers of you and I shouldn’t have yelled—”

“Y/N.”

This time it’s his hands that take yours, large and warm and gentle. You look down at your joined fingers, then up at his face. If you had loved each other as much as your memory would have you believe, this must have been a common occurrence.

No wonder it feels so safe.

“I don’t blame you,” he says, and it’s the steadiness of his gaze that convinces you he speaks true. “You had questions, and no one else you knew had answers.”

“Even so.” You blink a tear away. “Even so, Yunho.”

“No.” He grips your hands more tightly. “Do you know how I felt after I saw you the first time after? When you showed up with Dr. Strange in the middle of fighting the drakon?” You open your mouth to respond, but he cuts you off. “I was terrified, obviously, but watching you…” Yunho looks down at your joined hands and you think he’s going to start crying again, but when he looks back up, there’s a smile on his face despite the faint tears in his eyes. “It was good to see you, Y/N. Just so…good.”

You look down at your hands. Back up at Yunho’s face. 

Eyes so soft with tears, so warm they could melt.

“I was happy to see you,” he says quietly, and for all his words are unbelievable you have to believe them because of the way he says them. “So happy. I mean—I’d made the decision. And I’d come to terms with that I probably would never see you again, or at least never be close with you again. But seeing you then, healthy and happy and just—you—”

A choked noise escapes your throat. Something like a laugh. Something like a sob.

“I thought I’d gotten over it, you know.” Yunho smiles and it’s beautiful and broken and brittle, echoes of joy bittersweet on his lips. “Thought that I’d be able to move on. And I did, in a way, but before I thought that I would forget it all. I thought that I could. But that moment just showed me that I’d really never be able to, and that I would be okay with it. Because seeing you like that—it was good, Y/N.” The smile grows. “Even now, seeing you in front of me like this…”

Oh. Oh, damn.

You’d thought that you were all cried out, but your eyes betray you once more. A headache is starting to build up in the back of your head but you force yourself to focus, to decipher Yunho’s words for what they are. “So—” You swallow. Try to speak. “Do—do you—”

“I still love you,” he says quietly. “Every time I see you, it feels like I’m a little more whole.”

Your face burns. “I—”

“You don’t have to say anything right now.” Yunho smiles, and even on his teary face he looks so handsome, so steady, and if it’s true that you were in love with him before it’s not difficult to understand why. “I know it’s a lot, and that you’ve only just begun to figure some things out. I’m not looking for an answer when I tell you this.” He takes a deep breath. “I just wanted you to know.”

For a moment, the two of you sit in silence. You look at your interlaced fingers, think about how natural it feels to have his hands in yours, to have come to him in this hour of answers and need. Briefly you think of Mingi, and it doesn’t surprise you to think that they could’ve been good friends too.

“I’m not…closed off. To anything.” You swallow hard, looking back up at Yunho. “Yet, at least. I can’t say I—that I love you, not now, but I do believe I loved you once, and I could be there again. Someday.”

Yunho’s eyes fill with tears again, but he doesn’t say anything.

“I just.” Tears of your own start to squeeze down your cheeks, past your lips and chin. “I don’t know if I will ever remember everything,” you finally warn, voice wobbly. “I think it’s more likely that I won’t. But if you’re willing, even then…”

“It’s okay.” Yunho’s smile is warm, and it’s what finally sends the rest of the tears spilling out of your eyes. “This is more than I ever could have hoped for in my life.”

“I want to remember,” you choke. “I want to remember, I want to so badly—”

“I do too,” he says, pulling you into his chest. His warm heartbeat thumps quietly against yours and you take comfort in its steady pace, one, two, one, two. “But even if you don’t, I want you to know that’s okay. And it always will be.”

“…How do you know?”

Yunho’s arms, warm around your body. His hold so gentle yet so firm, so safe and steady as he murmurs reassurances in your ear.

“Because,” he says, pulling away. You look up at him with your sticky, aching eyes, feel all of your trust in him only grow as he smiles.

“Because we can always make more memories of our own.”

If you enjoyed, please don’t forget to reblog and leave a comment to tell me what you thought! Thank you for reading and have a lovely day <3

[instantcaramel]

A month ago I went to Amsterdam and visited all the filming locations for Ted Lasso‘s „Sunflowers“, so I figured I‘ll finally put something together here.

First of all, basically all the scenes involving the majority of the Richmond himbos were not shot on location - their epic discussion followed by pillow fight was filmed in an abandoned hotel in London. (Info per David Elsendoorn). The same would go for Ted & Beard‘s room. Scenes on the bus or outside it were also filmed in Richmond.

The only Greyhound who doesn‘t have his own larger plotline in the episode who was actually in Amsterdam was David Elsendoorn, because they did film the first scenes at Johan Cruijff (you know how to pronounce it now!) ArenA, the home of Ajax Amsterdam (which is also the one place I didn‘t have time to visit). They could have easily filmed that in London in a different stadium but I guess they didn‘t want to pass up the opportunity - and give David something to do on his home turf.

Edit: I visited 3 months later, so here‘s some pics from the ArenA, I couldn‘t find out which hallway they used/dressed up for the press interviews, but here‘s some shots from the stadium and the VIP lounge we see at the beginning.

So, first up is Roy & Jamie‘s adventure: Jamie takes him sightseeing against his will, and the first place they stop on is Magere Brug (Skinny Bridge). (They run up the street to that before.)

Edit thanks to @warriorhoneybee: Roy grabs Jamie’s wrist at Diamond Factory on Rokin and then tells him he can‘t ride a bike outside Lyppens Jeweler at Langebruugsteg.

They go around the corner to Oude Turfmarkt (which is what I took a picture of) for Jamie to teach him how. For Grandad!!!

The fucking windmill they see before they lovingly gaze into each other’s eyes is De Riekermolen at the Southern end of Amstelpark, where they also cycle. (It‘s actually realistic for them to do that, it would be about half an hour between those locations by bike).

Rebecca doesn‘t see the obvious bike lane (that doesn‘t actually exist there) and falls into the gracht at Raamgracht. Boaty McBoatface‘s houseboat is still there, they just had it dressed up a bit with plants and such when they filmed. (Unclear if anyone currently lives there). The interiors were shot in a studio.

Trent follows Colin to Prik night club (which was absolutely buzzing when I was there, I really want to go back).

And then they sit at the Homomonument, the Pink Triangle memorial at Westerkerk, having that tearjerker of a conversation, before returning to party. (It walked that distance at night, it‘s a beautiful stroll and less than 10 minutes). When I visited someone had left sunflowers. 🌻

Leslie & Will first go to Hotel Prins Hendrik in the Red Light district (and steps away from Amsterdam main station) where Chet Baker died. They then make their way to Jazz Café Alto, which is just down the road from where Boom Chicago used to be on Leidseplein. (It‘s about 30 mins on foot between those two locations so they could have walked or just taken the tram for a few stops. The interiors were done at a studio though).

Ted of course visits the studio-filmed fictional themed restaurant where he has a BBQ sauce induced, Corey Burton-narrated epiphany about triangles, but first he sees Vincent‘s „Sunflowers“ at Van Gogh Museum during Museumnacht (which btw would mean the episode is set first weekend of November). As you can tell they moved some things around, so at least currently the painting isn‘t hung on that beautiful blue wall anymore.

As a bonus, here is a picture of where Boom Chicago used to be when Jason Sudeikis, Brendan Hunt and Joe Kelly performed there - Brendan also used to live above the McDonald‘s on Leidseplein just steps away for a while. And the other picture is the current Boom Chicago on Rozengracht, definitely go enjoy a show there if you can.

Anyway thus concludeth my trip around Ted Lasso‘s Amsterdam. I visited for the Boom Chicago Comedy Festival and fell in love with the city, it was … magical / gezellig. I will never forget it, but then again, some people get Alzheimer’s.

[lovewillthaw-j]

Frozen II big screen re-watch (part 1)

I had the privilege of watching Frozen II today on the big screen. I'm on a short trip to another state and for some reason, the cinemas there are doing a re run of F2. Boy, was it an emotional trip for me! I felt like I relived 5 years! I last watched F2 on the big screen in 2019 (pre-pandemic). F2 caused me to join Tumblr in Jan 2020 and it's my first ever Fandom.

F2 is definitely much better when you watch it on a big screen. The experience is just so much better. 1) the animation looks so good bigger. You can see micro expressions in the character's faces. The special effects are awesome. 2) the audio experience is so much better with good speakers with bass and surround sound. Both of these make it easier to not focus on the plot flaws.

I teared and teared throughout the show. You must understand, although my blog is quiet now, I was madly in love with F2 in the first year of my blog. Besides making hundreds of gifs, I also wrote essays on locations, the plot, the themes in F2, Elsa's powers, Anna's love, etc. I'm also a musician and the songs and score mean so much to me. I recorded myself playing the piano and guitar to Elsa, Anna, Iduna singing, analyzed musical motifs, made some discoveries of my own (Hansorcery most importantly), made a cappella versions of songs and some humorous mashups.

It was really a trip down memory lane today. I reminisced over scenes that I have giffed. Giffing is a process that makes you really familiar with the scenes as you go over it multiple times till the crop, timing and colour is just right. I was a noob when I first started, and I learnt along the way with help from friendly fans here. I was reminded of those scenes that took my breath away, scenes that made my heart go "awwww", scenes which are funny, scenes which have been focal points of my analyses. I remembered my boobs analyses (lol about how I ogled them for research), Elsa's see through back of travel gown, tender sister moments, cute Bruni gifs, beautiful scenes of the girls, my transition gifs of Elsa riding on Nokk, raw animation, and the list goes on.

I remembered all the music, music which I listened to countless times till I dreamt the music in my sleep (I kid you not, this is a thing that happens to me). I remembered my hair standing during the creepy scenes - the ship scene (on my very first watch I was so worried they were going to reveal the dead bodies of the parents😱) and Olaf dying scene (the 6 notes motif is sooooo creepy you know something bad is going to happen). I felt the power of the fight scenes between Elsa and Gale and Elsa and Bruni and Elsa and Nokk, and Anna vs the giants. I teared at the tender sister scenes in the bedroom and outside the ship. And I teared when Elsa gloriously outran the flood and stopped it with her mighty wall of ice.

I was enthralled by the songs once again. Especially the big three songs. Into the unknown, especially when Elsa steps into the magical forest created by her magic. Show yourself is all about Elsa, Elsa is sooooo gorgeous in that entire song, from her tied back pony tail look to her hair down look to her dress transformation. And for The Next Right Thing I felt how crushed Anna was and how Kristen Bell cried for real in the song as she recorded it. I teared as Olaf died in her arms and that was the moment Anna realized Elsa was dead too.

(I have more to write)

[misscinnamonroll16]

Brozone diner au: the day John Dory took off part five

“Well for starters, we worked together on this. It was Bruce's idea that we do it. John Dory hasn't had an actual day off since he took ownership of the diner. We made a plan that would convince him to take the day off. Floyd came up with the idea to tell him we're worried about his health because he's always preaching about that to Floyd, which is true, we are worried about his health.” Clay answered while stealing a fry off Viva's plate, Viva playfully smacked his hand. " Well that's good that he's taking time for his health.” Poppy said with her mouth full, politely covering her mouth with her hand. “Yeah, I hope he's enjoying his day off but I don't wanna call to check because I feel like he'll think that means we need him here.” Branch said, leaning over Clay. " Oh he'll most definitely think that. Bruce and I have been arguing about that for like a half hour.” Clay piped up, trying to steal another fry. After a while, the brothers let the girls finish eating in peace and getting back to work. John Dory's walk had led him to Bergen Town, more specifically, the troll tree. John climbed up the tree, deciding to visit their grandma's old pod. John Dory arrived at the pod, taking a deep breath in before coughing hard, lots of dust caught in his lungs. After catching his breath, JD went back into the pod and started cleaning it up. Their grandma would never allow it to get this bad, when was the last time any of them were up here? John worked hard, going from room to room, dusting everything and straightening it up. Finally, John Dory arrived at their old room, the room he had shared with his brothers. God he hadn't been back here in so long, time for a trip down memory lane. John opened the door to the bedroom, the room hadn't been touched in decades, everything covered in a thick layer of dust. JD didn't have to urge to clean this room, moving things would mean the room wouldn't be him. Them. It wouldn't be Brozone, a side that no fan has seen. John sidestepped the toys that were left on the floor, noting that the toys belonged to Floyd, Branch and Clay. John Dory ran his finger along the railing of Branch’s old crib, picking up the old crocodile plush. JD chuckled at the makeup marks on Floyd's old pillow, seeing the old tween girl magazine peeking out from under the bed. John looked over at Clay's old bed, an old slingshot and whoopie cushion hiding underneath along with a small stack of children's chapter books. John pulled the stack of books out, looking them over, trying to find Clay's favorite. The bookmark still left in Charlotte’s web said that he had found it, of course it was a sad book. John sat the book next to the crocodile plush, unsure of why he was picking these things out. John moved on to the top bunks, starting with Bruce's old bed, back when he was still Spruce. Spruce’s old bed had an old reading light, fan letters hiding under his pillow, and a set of weights he'd use after waking up. John Dory grimaced, not liking how much pressure he used to put on his brothers. He's become better, they all have. John then went over to his old bed finding half written songs and music, old merchandise, and a photo album. He looked through the old album, baby pictures, birthdays, holidays, and other occasions. JD cooed at how little his brothers used to be and how small he was as well. John found a picture of Floyd's holding baby Branch, Floyd looking extremely happy and excited and Branch just sleeping. JD remembered how excited Floyd was to be a big brother, talking to Branch's egg and asking them what big brothers do. John Dory pulled the picture out of its sleeve, placing it in his vest. Coming across another picture, one of Spruce. Spruce was making faces at someone behind the person (it was their grandma) taking the picture. John remembered that, grandma was trying to get nice pictures of them for some magazine company, but it was boring having to stand there smiling for a long period of time. Spruce started making faces at Clay and Floyd while they got their pictures taken.

@bzjohndory

[tarttheart]

PRECIOUS LOVE: CHAPTER 3 - JAMIE TARTT x YOU

summary: in spite of your best efforts, you make a Richmond connection.

word count: 1.1k

warning: language, mention of pregnancy loss

-

chapter 3: showed me how to live again

In a way, telling De Bryune had been so freeing. Why you had not told anyone before was beyond you. A weight lifted off your chest and you felt ready to live again. You were ready to move forward.

You started socialising again, coming out of the shell that had formed in the last few years to rediscover some old friendships and make some new ones. No one knew and no one needed to know. You just needed to remember you had more life to live, even without baby Lemy.

It had probably been close to ten years since you had last seen Emma so it was a much anticipated catch-up. Good food, good company, good vibes. You were solidly on your journey back to becoming yourself when you felt your world change again in a second.

The bell rang at the restaurant signaling another group entering. You paid no attention to the bell, until Emma stood and squealed.

“KEELEY FUCKING JONES!”

“EMMA FUCKING GRANT!”

Your breath caught in your throat. You recognized that name, you knew that face. It had been impossible not to come across Keeley’s face when you had looked up Jamie for research purposes that fateful day. You thought you had figured out how to avoid Jamie Tartt. Afterall, it had been months and you had done a splendid job so far. What you had not expected was having mutual friends with Keeley Jones.

You forced a smile, trying to keep a pleasant demeanor while the panic set in. You felt the restaurant starting to narrow.

“Keeley, meet my friend from university,” Emma said to Keeley, gesturing to you before turning to you and continuing with, “Keeley and I met on set when I did that parttime job as an extra in university. Remember?”

You did remember. In fact, you had egged her on to do it. Ah, what a cruel twist of fate. Had she not done that, you would not be trying to keep yourself together through these pleasantries.

”She has just moved back to London after spending a few years abroad. You guys should totally hang out!”

Ah, fuck. You mentally swore at Emma. Bless her cotton socks for trying to help you make friends but fuck her for choosing Keeley Jones.

You prayed in the moment that this was one of those times everyone said “we should definitely do that” and never do it. Because the last thing you needed was to spend time with the ex-flame of one Jamie Tartt. The further you could be from his orbit the better because you knew if you got too close, he could suck you in again. He would do that, you knew. His gravitational pull was just too strong.

-

Unfortunately for you, Keeley was not the kind of person to not follow through on hanging out. In fact, she had been so keen that you found yourself at yet another dinner the next day with Keeley and Emma. It had not been for a lack of trying on your part to get out of it but the sweethearts made every effort to accommodate your needs, delaying dinner to an ungodly hour and reserving a restaurant near your office.

”You’re very quiet tonight,” Emma observed.

“Yea, sorry, big week at work. I’m exhausted,” you apologised easily, taking another big swig of your wine.

“I don’t bite, babes,” Keeley quipped, “not much anyway.”

Keeley and Emma roared with laughter and you smiled as the two chattered on. You really just had to get through this one dinner with Keeley and you would be able to get on with life.

“Babes, we are going to be best mates, yeh? Next time Em’s in town, she’s going to be fucking livid she fucked off to Oxford.”

You forced a smile and nodded but neither really waited for you to react as they continued on their own trip down memory lane. Some people might have found it exclusive but you knew it was not personal. You just did not have much to offer to the conversation. Afterall, you did not want to be there. So, you took comfort in not having to share more than you wanted to. This was but a blip in the matrix of your life and it would all go back to normal soon.

Except it did not.

Keeley genuinely stuck to her word that she was going to become your best friend, completely dashing your hopes and dreams of a lonely uneventful life in London. You remained steadfast in your position that Jamie probably had the strongest magnetic pull an individual could have but Keeley was a very close second. You knew anyone remotely close to Keeley would be sucked into her orbit and that was not a bad thing. In fact, you had come to enjoy Keeley’s presence. Her energy was both refreshing and energising while being calming and relaxing. She could have been the perfect best friend, if only Keeley had nothing to do with one Jamie Tartt. But maybe, if you were careful and only met with Keeley in certain settings or situations, it could work. Maybe.

It was another Saturday and Keeley had brought brunch to your place as was routine now. It had become a little bit of a ritual for the two of you to have breakfast together on Saturdays like a little faux therapy session. You had come to look forward to them and you were just so pleased to have found a safe space for you and Keeley to be friends. As long as you met in an environment you could control like your home, you knew Jamie would not be a problem. He could not be a problem.

You were really in need of a ‘session’ today to serve as a distraction from some pretty strong memories. Afterall, this was the day that you found yourself alone in a hospital waiting to have the surgery done many years ago. It had been an extremely challenging affair and the day had changed your life. For so many years now, you had allowed it to define your life, distinctly separating everything into either pre-Lemy and post-surgery. So, every year, it felt apt to pause and think about it. Was it weird that you felt the need to grieve and be sad twice a year? Maybe. Was it unhealthy? Probably. Did you need it? Absolutely.

You stared at your sonogram again, taking a moment to grieve but also thank your past self for being so brave and comforting her for the tough choices she made on her own. You would have probably basked in her sorrows for longer had Keeley not been knocking on the door. You haphazardly shoved the little print in a book on your coffee table before letting Keeley in. You just needed to keep living.

-

< chapter 2 | master list | chapter 4 >

[simplyclary]

I Loved How Good You Looked: A TZP 2023 Fashion Wrap-Up (Part 1)

(Edit by yours truly)

In the world of fashion, every outfit tells a story, and 2023 has certainly been a memorable year for rising Hollywood star Taylor Zakhar Perez.

From his lead role in Amazon Prime's hit movie "Red, White and Royal Blue" to his unforgettable fits throughout the year, Taylor shows no signs of slowing down in both the acting world and the fashion world.

As 2023 comes to a close, it's time to take a glamorous stroll down the Taylor Zakhar Perez fashion memory lane! I'll unravel the variety of trends that graced the catwalks, adorned the red carpets, and became street-style staples.

This TZP fashion wrap-up promises a dazzling lineup of looks that defined the essence of elegance and daring creativity that made 2023 unforgettable, especially for Taylor and his ever growing fanbase.

Join me as I unwrap the fashion moments that left fans breathless, inspired, and utterly in love with the one and only Taylor Zakhar Perez.

So get comfortable, grab a drink and some snacks and let the fashion show begin..

Vanity Fair London- February 2023

Ahhh, look at how dashing he is in that black suit? Already slaying and it's only February!

Anyway, Taylor in this black ensemble is nothing but perfection. Also, the way that his hair was styled up and his clean-shaven look adds a bit of a pristine vibe to the overall look.

Give me Taylor in a black suit any day and you would just catch me swooning over it for the rest of the day.

Cyclops x Moncler Genius Show- February 2023

This is the lighter contrast to that of his look during Vanity Fair London, because instead of donning an all-black outfit, Taylor opted for more lighter colors like white, light blue and a dark(ish) aqua green shade.

For this event, he opted for a t-shirt with the name of the brand on it under a plaid flannel like shirt and dark aqua green pants that also has the brand's name on it.

The one thing that I didn't really like is the shades that he wore. It's too big for me and I would've preferred that he went without the shades. However, if he was going for an outer-space alien vibe with this look, I think he nailed it because those shades definitely looked like the eyes of an alien that's coming to invade or seek peace on Earth.

Versace Cruise 2024 Show- March 2023

This is one of Taylor's look that live rent-free in the minds of fans. I mean, how can it not? He looks so handsome.

This mesh tank top with leather pants is a combination that I never thought would work but it actually could, on Taylor at least. I love how his bits of jewelry added a bit of sparkle to the overall darkness of the outfit, similar to stars in the night sky.

I need Taylor to rock more outfits like this come 2024, because this look definitely had fans wanting more.

Green Carpet Fashion Awards-March 2023

I swear to the angels, this look is giving me real Rhysand vibes, and I'm not mad about that.

Just another all-black Taylor outfit for the year (trust me, I know you know this ain't the last all-black outfit he wore), and dang, he looks absolutely handsome. With the clean-shaven look and his hair that styled up, this is a vision of a Night Court prince right here.

Yep, I'm just here throwing out my fantasies, but it is what it is.

Woolmark Trip to Australia-March 2023

One of his memorable supply chain trips that he took to further understand the fabrics that go into the very clothes that people wear.

For the first photo, it was a good choice that he wore a sweater to Australia because he went there during the fall season in the country (which runs from March to May). It's also a good pop of color and compliments really well with the green of the grass (and the white of the sheep).

As for the second photo (which was taken when he was in one of the shops looking at fabrics), he wore a plain whitish-grey shirt underneath a navy blue blazer. It exudes simplicity with a dash of elegance. I also love how it was during this time that he made a custom-wool suit for himself.

I love a man who cares about the environment. Men like him are a rare breed nowadays.

BMW x Coachella- April 2023

Be honest with yourselves, when you look at this picture, what did you look at first? The scenery? The car? Or Taylor? It would be the third option, obviously.

This was a collaboration of BMW with the summer music festival Coachella and to have Taylor as a model for it is perfect because it's like mixing together adventure (with the car) and music & fun (I mean, that's one of the reasons people go to Coachella, right?), which sums up Taylor's personality in a way (adventurous and fun-loving).

For this, Taylor wore a summer look, with a white tank top underneath a black jacket with black shorts and green rubber shoes. I love how the green adds a touch of color to his overall neutral outfit. It's a simple combination but he makes it look like a masterpiece, if I'm being honest.

Ralph Lauren Event- April 2023

Taylor, why are you wearing gray? What do you have against color (Kidding..)

To be clear, I have nothing against the color gray. It's just not my first pick for a color. It comes off as dull and boring for me, but that's just my humble opinion.

For this event, Taylor wore a grey and white ensemble, with a gray shirt paired with a gray blazer and white pants. The overall look may lack color, but do admit that Taylor looks good in it (he looks good in whatever color he wears, to be completely honest).

International Woolmark Prize (IWP) Event- May 2023

Knowing Taylor, he would not pass up on an opportunity to advocate about fashion sustainability while still being fashionable himself, which I honestly love.

During this event with The Woolmark Company, he wore a navy blue ensemble, which is composed of a white tank top and a striped navy blue button-down that is layered by a navy blue coat. He completed his look with black loafers and a pair of necklaces, which add a little shine to his outfit. Again, a simple combination but on him, it looks like a masterpiece.

Take it from Taylor, folks. This is how you advocate for a good cause while also looking good yourself.

Prada (Spring/Summer 2024 Menswear Show)- June 2023

*This is also an excuse for me to post Taylor's unforgettable shirtless entrance photo*

The iconic Prada SS24 Show!! Taylor's fashion week debut (he said so himself during the "Get Ready With Me" video). He really said "this is my first fashion week so I gotta make it memorable". And it was memorable indeed, maybe more for the fans, but regardless, it was an iconic event.

Taylor's photos from this event was one of the first photos that I ever saw of him the moment I became a fan, and it will be one of those events that will forever live rent-free in my mind. I mean, how could I not? Look at the stunning assembly of looks he pulled off for the show. From stepping out of the car shirtless to wearing a white Prada tank top at the end of the day, he surely made the 2023 summer even hotter.

I also love how he made it a designer summer. Prada is a designer brand and then he combined it with some summer essentials like a white tank top and sunglasses. Personally, I love that theme.

Maybe Taylor will be able to beat this on 2024, if he gets invited to the Prada event again (I have faith that he will be).

Givenchy Event- June 2023

It's one fashion show after another, I take it. After Prada (or before, I'm not sure), it's Givenchy.

I got to be honest, this all-black jumpsuit outfit is not my favorite, but I'll make an exception because it's black which is one of my most favorite colors on Taylor. What I love about this is that he made the jumpsuit ensemble not too plain-looking by adding silver jewelry and sunglasses.

This is more of a practical look but hey, something that's both fashionable and functional is what people really look for nowadays.

Tag Heuer Event- July 2023

Let's be honest, it's not Taylor if there was no picture where he does the peace sign.

In this particular photo, I love how his outfit was the dark contrast to the light colors of his background and even to the very couch he's sitting on. His dark outfit is something I can see a warrior in a fairytale wear and I'm not one to complain about that.

This ensemble is something people can wear in the summertime, consider the varying degrees of heat that the summer season brings in every country during the summer months.

Miu Miu Event- July 2023

I would like to point out that this look is very similar to the one Taylor wore to the Tag Heuer event, only with a different brand, but I'll look past that, I guess.

With this look, it still has the summer vibes. I can see people wearing this type of outfit during the summer time where people often opt for sleeveless clothes.

Maybe pair this outfit with your favorite pair of sunglasses, get on a boat and go sailing off into the ocean with the sea breeze in your face and you'll have an unforgettable summer.

Red, White and Royal Blue Billboard Sighting and NYC Street Style- August 2023

Ahhh August, the month where Taylor was catapulted into even more fame (and also the month that I knew of him).

August was the month of the premiere of "Red, White and Royal Blue" where Taylor played his first lead role as Alex Claremont-Diaz. It also premiered in the middle of the 118-day SAG-AFTRA strike, so sadly, there was no red carpet event for the movie but Taylor had to show off his style one way or another.

In the first two photos, it's just Taylor casually walking in the streets but he still looks so good. In the first photo, he wore a blue-black ensemble (two of my favorite colors on him) and the second photo was a contrast to the somehow dark ensemble of the first photo because it shows him wearing a much lighter outfit, which includes a cream vest and green track pants with sneakers.

The third photo is special because it was when Taylor was in New York (Times Square to be exact) with his parents and they went to see the billboard that had the poster of RWRB on it. His outfit is a wool (or cotton) shirt with a mix of orange, brown, black and white colors paired with dark jeans. It was a more casual outfit as compared to the magnitude of what he saw on Times Square that night.

Aperol Spritz Event- August 2023

I suddenly want to have a drink with Taylor and just chill. I mean, don't we all?

With this event, Taylor wore a white tank top underneath a blue striped button-down with matching pants of the same design. I honestly love how the color of his outfit compliments the color of the drink (In art class, blue and orange are known to be complimentary colors because the darkness of blue makes the lightness of orange pop off).

The darkness of the grassy green background also makes Taylor stand out, especially with the angle of this photo, so this outfit is a yes from me. Plus the slightly tousled hair and the little scruff adds more to the chill vibe of the event.

Vogue World: London- September 2023

This was the event that cemented Taylor's status as a prince in my mind. As an avid fan of fairytale stories, his two looks during this event was how I sometimes imagine princes when I read.

The white top with the attached waistcoat and the flared bottoms gives me the vibes of what people in the olden eras of London would wear. Think Victorian/Edwardian era. The second look of the night was this sparkling sleeveless number which is also unforgettable and provided a good contrast to the pristine white top.

I would also like to note that the grey sleeveless top is cropped so a bit of midriff was shown but I'm not complaining since Taylor is cut and fit anyway. These two outfits were really fit for a handsome prince like Taylor who is off to a stunning night in London.

Burberry (Spring/Summer 2024, London Fashion Week)- September 2023

If there's one thing I'm sure about, it is the fact that Taylor will slay even the most common of clothing. In this event, he wore a trench coat that is almost like a raincoat over a plaid long sleeve. It could be a common outfit for people who experience the rainy weather more often, but Taylor rocks it like a masterpiece meant to be exhibited in a fashion show, which is also a lovely idea.

I don't adore this outfit as much as I do the others, but one of the things that I like about this one is the practicality of it. It's a trench coat that can be used as a raincoat if one does not have an umbrella on hand and the rain suddenly started pouring.

Another thing was the idea that Taylor went to London Fashion Week and it generated like the highest media value. Like, that is a record and I'm not mad that he was one of the reasons that happened.

London and Milan Street Style- September 2023

Taylor is one of those people who could make street style look absolutely stunning. He could wear like a super casual combination of clothes like jeans and sneakers but combine that with his charm and you get a photo of him walking the pedestrian lane as if it's a fashion runway or him standing outside of his hotel yet it's gonna look like he posed for a fashion magazine shoot.

His street style in between the gorgeous ensembles he wore attending fashion weeks in London and Milan had fans gasping. Why? Because he looks so good in them.

These are four of my favorite Taylor street-style looks because it’s style and comfort, casual and preppy at the same time. All his clothes look plain at best but it still has the element of shimmer because of his accessories like his signature necklaces and bracelets, which is always lovely to see.

Ferrari (Spring/Summer 2024)-September 2023

Taylor was in his Doctor Strange era during this fashion week and I was so here for that era. It also made me scream because if you don't know, Doctor Strange is one of my most favorite Marvel characters ever!

Taylor could've played a variant of the character because to me, he kind of pulled the reverse version of Doctor Strange. Instead of wearing an all-blue outfit like the character, Taylor wore a dark red turtleneck top with a set composed of a dark trench coat and pants. He kind of completed his Doctor Strange look with tousled dark locks and a bit of stubble.

Honestly speaking, he also gave me a bit of Sherlock Holmes vibes with the trench coat which I honestly love, because I love the Sherlock Holmes stories.

Other than the fact that I completely rambled and disassociated, this look gives immense fall vibes to me, and it's perfect for that chilly stroll around the city while drinking a cup of cocoa or a cup of pumpkin spice latte.

That's A Wrap....for now...

Well, due to the limited amount of images I can put on here, I'm gonna need to put a part 2 for this fashion wrap up. This only means that Taylor had so many good looks this year that this site couldn't keep up with the insane amount of photos (kidding!).

But anyway, here's a link to Part 2 of the TZP Fashion Wrap-Up, so head over there if you want to see more of Taylor's fashion for the year.

[velariscalling]

A snippet of my current WIP…

I am so BUMMED because I wanted to post my full imagine this weekend but it’s become very clear that it’s definitely not going to be ready, but no worries! I’m still working on it, so I thought I’d share a small piece of it to let you know what to expect… enjoy ;)

~✨~✨~✨~

Gritting his teeth, Cassian opened his previously clenched eyes, setting on her with an air of distaste. “Anything else up your sleeve?” The question was dry, sick to death of the games already, but the excitement practically vibrating off Y/N told him she wasn’t finished with him just yet.

“Well, maybe just one tiny detail. You may have woken up from that poison, but that doesn’t mean it’s not still in your system. You’ll die without the antidote.” She said idly, eyebrows raised with a slight mocking pout on her lips as she examined her fingernails without a care in the world.

Cassian startled. He knew there was more to the story, of course there was, but that is not what he was expecting. His mind whirred with a way to get out of this situation, a way to turn the tables in his favour, but he kept coming up short. “What’s the point, Y/N? Huh? You never even told me why I’m here in the first place, I think it’s only fair that if I’m gonna die, I should at least know why I’m going down.”

“Well of course I was going to tell you, I’m not a monster,” Y/N laughed - actually laughed. “You’re here because we can’t have you commanding those Illyrian bastards to victory. Without you, they’re lost, leaving the goal wide open for a win for my side. Silly little baby, aren’t you?” She went to tap his nose - condescending little bitch, Cassian thought, and turned his head to the side with a grimace, which Y/N did not like one bit. That playful grin on her face was gone in an instant, replaced by a face so stoney and cold that even the worst of creatures would be afraid. In that split second of rage, Y/N grabbed Cassian’s jaw with her whole hand and yanked him back to face her where she was suddenly inches away from him. “That was rude, Cassian.”

Then, he snapped. He finally snapped, and her hand around his jaw, commanding him as if she were his superior was the breaking point. Her control was his breaking point as he spat in her face, completely losing his grip on the leash to his anger. But Y/N… oh no, Y/N wasn’t so easily perturbed, and as Cassian’s rage subsided and he watched her eye him with malice, he remembered as much.

“So feisty,” she purred as she wiped her face with her hand, eyes not leaving his pissed expression for a minute. She just loved the way his jaw ticked with anger, and how sharp the lines of his face became as he watched her every move, just like he used to do… well, with less anger and more lust. “You used to love when I took control, Cassian, remember?”

Gods, he remembered, of course he did. He remembered their secret rendezvous, the way they snuck around not to get caught. He remembered how she would crawl on top of him agonisingly slowly, and kiss all the way up his abs and chest, leaving her scent all over his body. Or how they’d wind up cramped in a tiny storage closet, her back pressed against the wall and her nails digging into his skin as he took her as his own, stifling their sounds of pleasure at the mere whisper of someone walking past. But what he loved most was when his face was buried between her thighs as she crossed her ankles, locking him in, his own hips rutting against the bed for any sort of friction he could get amidst the desperation to draw high after high from her.

“Oh,” Her voice dipped in honey shook him out of his reverie as he remembered where he was, hands bound and body poisoned. He caught her eyes once more, and a gasp escaped him as he saw just how blown out her pupils had become, almost sucking up any light remaining. “I think someone still likes that idea.” It took Cassian a moment to realise what she meant, and just how sloppy he had become. During his trip down memory lane, he had allowed his scent to shift, completely exposing just how turned on she still had the power to make him.

To be continued…

[toomoonfic]

AO3 Tag Game

Thank you for the tag @dimplesandfierceeyes! I really enjoyed this trip down memory lane.

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

So across my main account (jjjat3am, toomoon, boneflower, yvenger) + my hockey account (savedby), I've somehow managed 283 works.

2. What is your AO3 wordcount?

901 767 words. Getting closer to that million, huh.

3. What fandoms do you write for?

Ah, tricky question. Right now I'm writing mostly in the Thai BL fandom, if I can label it that way. According to my dashboards, I've written across 59 different fandoms.

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

1. you're not a ghost (I'm not afraid of you) - KinnPorsche, Arm/Tankhun 2. safe (right here in your arms) - KinnPorsche, Arm/Tankhun 3. devil is in the details - KinnPorsche, VegasPete 4. how does a penguin build his house? - Hockey RPF, Crosby/Malkin 5. this life (all I know) - Black Panther, M'Baku/Killmonger

Is it weird that I didn't realize that my KinnPorsche fics had gotten so much traction? But I guess it just proves what a huge fandom that was that a rare pairing got over 2k kudos in the case of ghost.

5. Do you respond to comments?

I try to! I feel like communication with your reader is integral to building your community, and that's why I'm grateful to everyone that reaches out to me. I've noticed that I don't do it as much when my mental health takes a nosedive, which is why I still owe people replies from last year. I'm still doing it, but I hope it's not weird that people are getting replies like a year later.

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

I'm fairly allergic to angsty endings, so it took me a while of searching to get something that might fit this criteria. I'll go with some things never change, which is an Almost Human fanfic, so that's a definite throwback. It features robot death and I remember I exorcised some demons with it for sure.

7. What is the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

Pretty much everything else? Just looking at some of the last things I've posted, holding on to patience (like a sunrise) my DBD fic was pretty much a typical Julija happy ending. In general that story is a very typical Julija fic start to finish.

8. Do you get hate on fics?

Not anymore, thank fuck. I did have a stalker back when I started posting hockey fic, that's why I made a whole other account, but that seems to have died down.

9. Do you write smut? If so, which kind?

I've written 12 explicit fics in total, which is just funny when you think about it. The conditions have to really be perfect for me to be able to produce, and when I do, weirdly, it's mostly like, awkward handjobs I guess. I haven't mastered the art of the smut fic yet and likely never will.

10. Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest crossover you’ve ever written?

Don't do this to me. There's only one fic I've posted that I'm genuinely embarrassed to speak about and this is it.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

I don't think so.

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

Yes! It's always a joy.

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

I have! Take a Chance on Me was written with @zevons and it's so close to my heart. I've done a bunch of collabs and I love them all, not just for the story but just for the connection with another author.

14. What’s your all-time favourite ship?

This is also a difficult question for someone as disloyal as me...

I think ToddBlack has such a hold on me to this day, and it's still not totally let me go, so I'll go with that, their dynamic is so compelling to me.

15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

on the bridge between water and clay is never getting another chapter unless I decide that I'm really into Naruto again, which, okay, stranger things have happened I suppose.

16. What are your writing strengths?

I think I'm just the funniest person who's ever picked up a pen, personally. Strangely some people don't agree?? Weird.

I don't know, I never have a witty answer to this particular question, so funny is what I default to, because the funny moments in my fics are the ones that always stay most memorable to me.

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

Oh, descriptions for sure. Things like setting and what people are wearing, and the little details that really transport you to the place in a story. I don't really notice details like that in every day life so there's nothing I can base this on to improve myself.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

I don't have many thoughts, I try to generally avoid it.

19. First fandom you wrote for?

I think it must have been Lord of the Rings.

20. Favourite fic you’ve written?

I posted hung from ladders last year and I'd have to say it's my favorite thing that I've written in a very long time. It's a horror fic I suppose, but at its core it's a story about grief and how you deal with it, and I think in so many ways I was more honest in it than I anticipated I would be. I love it for what it represented for me in that moment but I also love that while not that many people read it, I think that it really impacted the people that did and through that I really felt that sense of community that I hadn't really felt in a long time.

I don't really connect with that many people on this website, so I'm not up to date on who writes and who doesn't, but I'm tagging a few people anyway, hopefully this isn't one you've done before:

@tungtung-thanawat, @mightymightygnomepriest @grasspetty @returning-spring

[statisticalcats2]

My brain's been doing another trip down memory lane and I've realized I kinda witnessed like... a definite turning point in the MRA community, where it like... fully shifted into being overrun with alt-righters who didn't actually care about men in any real way.

I witnessed in real time the MRA community disparaging cops and the whole police institution because of the biases against male victims of domestic violence and for being enforcers of false accusations, I witnessed in real time the MRA community using black men as a talking point when it came to false accusations. And I witnessed in real time when the BLM movement started taking off and the MRA community suddenly took a hard turn into "back the blue" cop defenders and start dog-piling MRAs who supported BLM or were sympathetic even if they didn't use the label. And the broader shift of using men of color as talking points for false accusations but then throwing those same accusations at immigrants of color. The shift from criticizing "traditional values" for the harm they do to men (teaching them their lives aren't as valuable as women's, and to destroy their bodies and minds in service to their boss or government) to extolling those same "traditional values" as something we need to go back to. And that's somehow supposed to mesh with men being able to show emotion and vulnerability and get help and support as victims of abuse and rape.

It was a very sad shift. All the people who actually cared and were trying to help men were dog-piled and chased out.

[shatterinseconds]

Garrison

Klance AU month ‘23 day 3

“I can’t believe we’re back here,” Lance comments as he and Keith stroll the halls of the Garrison.

Not much has changed in the years since they’ve been gone. The paint is still a cold white, the floor gray. Teachers’ names on the doors might be the only difference in the building but even then, Lance catches sight of a few familiar ones—some he remembers hating with a passion and others who tolerated his boisterous energy.

He and Keith are only back here now because they’re getting married in a few days, and while most of the wedding preparations have been completed ahead of schedule thanks to the combined efforts of his mother, Allura, and Hunk, they decided to take a trip down memory lane. Tomorrow, when they have more daylight, they’ll journey to Keith’s desert shack to see what’s happened to it, if anything is salvageable. Keith is hoping to repair it enough to try to sell it since he won’t be needing it anymore. Lance tried to persuade him to keep it, if he really wants to; they don’t need the money right now. But Keith had been adamant, admitting he wanted to have some money set aside for when they would need a permanent residence on Earth when they’re done with their space adventures. Lance may have cried a little at that.

Keith slips his arm around Lance’s waist when they turn another corner. They have one destination in mind right now and are currently trying to remember where the access to the roof is. “Yeah, it’s crazy to think I always had a crush on you,” Keith says lightly, almost chuckling to himself.

Lance stops short. Caught off guard, Keith stumbles back. “Excuse me?”

“You heard me,” Keith says, mock glaring, and not daring to repeat what he said again. Which is okay because Lance definitely heard it; how could he not?

Still, Lance’s brows furrow while he tries to pick at Keith’s words. “You didn’t even know who I was when we met again while rescuing Shiro. Sorry for not believing you.”

“I knew who you were…” Keith says, trailing off. His gaze drifts off of Lance while mumbling, “I just didn’t know your real name.” He starts to walk away from Lance, as if avoiding the conversation they have to have now, but Lance catches the sudden determined look on Keith’s face. He must have finally remembered something. 

“What!?” Lance exclaims, utterly flabbergasted. He chases after Keith. “I never went by any nickname or anything. Well there was the self proclaimed—”

“Taylor. I thought your name was Taylor,” Keith admits, cutting him off. Well, that is… unexpected. Lance almost laughs, cheeks already hurting at how much he smiles. 

They’ve stopped at a large metal door towards the end of the last hall, a thin window showing the existence of a ladder inside. They’ve found the place. Exclaiming a quick ‘aha!’ under his breath, Keith manages to bypass the control panel lock to the door leading to the roof. The sign on the door says officers only; Lance never took heed of the sign when he was younger and he definitely won’t now.

Lance smirks, humming happily. “Good to know that title really did get around even if it was misinterpreted.” He starts to climb up the ladder after Keith, practically staring at Keith’s butt the entire time. It’s not like he has anywhere else to look. “But I’m a little insulted. I don’t look like a Taylor.” 

Keith rolls his eyes. He grabs onto Lance’s hand as he climbs up the last few rungs and steps onto the flat roof. “How will I ever make it up to you?”

This high up, the desert wind starts to whip around them. Lance cards a hand through his hair to push it off his forehead for a moment. A bit of darkness has already started to descend upon them, the night sky peeking through as the oranges and pinks fade away. How he’s missed this. Of all the planets he’s traveled to and all the sunsets he’s witnessed, Earth’s have remained the most beautiful. He arches his head back to breathe it all in before he turns to Keith with another sharp grin, eyes sparkling. 

“I just have to figure out a way to slip that anecdote into Shiro’s best man speech and we’ll be all set.” With his hand still holding Keith’s, he thumbs the engagement ring on Keith’s finger; a matching one rests on Lance’s own. They had proposed to each other at the same time—well, Lance was technically first—only a few months ago but neither of them wanted a long engagement.

“Wonderful,” Keith says dryly. “But I’m pretty sure half of our guests won’t understand it.”

Lance waves off his concerns and guides Keith down to sit with him on the rather uncomfortable roof. Leaning into Keith, he says, “Pidge and Hunk will love it. So don’t worry, it won’t go to waste.”

Keith presses his nose into Lance’s cheek. With the wind, Keith’s hair tickles his face when it blows around them. “I’m so glad,” he mutters into Lance’s skin. Lance turns until he captures Keith’s mouth with his own as his hand moves to cup Keith’s face.

And they watch the sunset together, like they did so many years ago.

[choraa]

Found your art completely by chance and oh my god, taking a trip down memory lane doesn’t begin to describe the feelings I had sifting through everything. I feel like I took a wrong step and fell down a gaping hole of childhood nostalgia. The second I saw the tags Nicktoons Unite, I was whipped back to being like 8-9 years old and watching my older sister play the OG Nicktoons Unite on our GameCube. I remember she snagged the game for 1.99$ from EB and played the shit outta it; I was no good at games and got fed up quickly (our parents would force her to share) but I loved watching her play. We spent the entire fall/winter in that cold basement, huddled in blankets with our baby sister, playing that game. My older sister really also got really into Toybots and Globs of Doom, but nothing like the OG. We’re not all that close anymore as we’re both grown, but seeing your art took me back to the time when we were. You’ve warmed my frosty little heart with your awesome compositions, colouring and designs (Danny, admittedly, being my favourite). Thank you for sharing your art 💕

First of all I'm sorry that I replied to this so late. There aren't enough words either to really describe how much this message made me happy, to know that my works evoked such a feeling. Plus, I can't take all the credit either, it's really thanks to @nicktoonsunite that I even got to start drawing them so often back in 2016 and now, hahah

The Nicktoons gang is so closely associated with the idea of childhood nostalgia in general just like any other cartoon from decades ago. But when they're tied to unique memories like yours, that makes them all the more special and I love hearing about it and being able to connect with other people that way. And that's what I love when it comes to drawing them. I grew up watching the tv shows and playing all the Nicktoons Unite games, so when I found out that there's a small community sharing art centered around the games and these four characters in particular, I got hooked. I'm happy that you got to share the experience with your sisters, it sounded like a lot of fun playing the whole series together, and it's definitely a nice thing to reminisce about. Thank you for your support and for sharing these sweet memories. <3

[onwriting-hrarby]

hiii! i’m the person who asked you for book recs and i just wanted to let you know that i’ve started reading written on the body by jeanette winterson and i’m ABSOLUTELY LOVING IT. i love the way it’s so intricately written and i’m only about thirty pages in! and as for my personal liking for books, i also lean more towards the literary side! i absolutely love the books you suggested to me (i did some bg research on them and all of them are so interesting!) and i knew you’d be the perfect person to ask! i asked you because i absolutely love your style of writing and i was wondering what books you read that inspire you to write like that. just know that i’ll always be a big fan and thank you so much for the book recs!

🥲🥲🥲🥲🥲🥲THAT MAKES ME INCREDIBLY HAPPY! thank you very much for trusting me i hope you keep enjoying it (and you are up for a surprise in part two). also, thank you very much for your words about my writing, they make me blush, eheh!

honestly, i read so much that it is impossible for me to tell you exactly what books i read to write like i do. i can confidently aay that i have been writing with the same style for over 7 years now (i took a trip down memory lane not too long ago and i surprised myself!), but before that there were like hints about my current style in writing too. so i would say that style is something you acquire the more you write, and definitely refine over the years. the same way, i think all reading shapes our writing, so i would say all the books since i was 12 years old counted on that hahahaha. some formative novels for me in terms of style that i remember, and that i wanted to copy back in the days were:

- cien horas con mario, by miguel de unamuno (i don't know if it is translated in english)

- drames rurals by victor català (this is not even translated into spanish)

- berlin alexanderplatz by alfred döblin

- ulisses by james joyce

- the short stories by david foster wallace

books that shaped my imaginary (politically, or thematically):

- our share of night by mariana enríquez

- the process by franz kafka

- la tormenta by benito pérez galdós

- midnight children

- incerta glòria by joan sales

most of what i read when i was young was either catalan, spanish or french, i didn't start reading more english classics since i was in uni! however, again, i have read so much over the years that i think even when i didn't like the book, something stuck with me even if i didn't want to! i work in publishing, so i read mostly in foreign languages now, and i would say that has shaped my english in a loy of ways. but english is always mixed with my sintactical structures from my native language. and i do think this is a plus. i think being able to read lotsmof languages has shaped my style. people think that to write correct english you need to leave aside your language identity, but i don't want to do that. the best english writer for me is nabokov, and he was russian--i wish i could be at his english level!

is this a veeeery long answer? YES! but we have so much to talk about hehehe. tell me what you keep on thinking about winterson! and if you ever need other recs, do not hesitate to chat with me❤️‍🔥 as you can tell... literature is my passion!