#but first the Hard lessons. before they pill up more

[cnl0400]

Do y'all think If you squished the Little Ds they would have a slime like texture or It would be like squishing a stress ball

[svetamillss]

You came home drunk🥂

Featuring: Cho Hyun Ju x Reader(f)

Summary: You had a fun celebration of your friend's birthday.

A/N: The stories with my beloved girlfriend are back!

🩵🩵🩵

It was your best friend's birthday, of course you were going to go to it, but the truth is that your girlfriend was at work that day and couldn't join, so you went alone.

You had rules. First of all: to be always in touch. Secondly: don't drink a lot of alcohol, because it be a bad effect on you. Thirdly: be at home at eleven o'clock in the evening at most.

But you safely forgot all these three points...

No, no, you were in touch with Hyun Ju at first, but then the fun stunned your head.

And it's two o'clock in the morning. You were able to get home thanks to the taxi. True, not in a normal form. You could barely stand on your feet.

You quietly entered the house so that your beloved girl wouldn't wake up, you did everything very diligently, despite the darkness in the room and the headache. But then the light suddenly turns on and your eyes almost burst with pain, when you focused your eyesight, you were able to see your girlfriend in cute pajamas (which you gave her for her birthday), but with a very strict face. You got scared.

- Hyunnie! - you shout at the whole room, holding on to the ottoman near the door so as not to fall, but your girlfriend didn't even smile at you.

- So where were we?

- At a friend's birthday.. you know.. - you said stuttering, big thoughts and suggestions were given with difficulty, you wanted to lie down now and fall asleep in the arms of Hyun Ju, and not listen to lessons of behavior.

- I'm in the know. But it's two o'clock in the morning.

- Two o'clock in the morning? And you're awake?? You're tired at work..you need to get enough sleep..- even changing the subject didn't help you in any way, the severity of your girlfriend trampled everything.

- Don't interrupt me. We agreed that you would come back no later than eleven o'clock! We also agreed that you would always be in touch, but I've already lost you for four hours. - you looked back in a hurry, took out your phone to check and realized that it was turned off.

- Oh..he discharged..- a heavy sigh was heard from your girlfriend.

- I could have picked you up, but I thought that if you wanted to write to me, you would find an opportunity, but you had too much fun there. And the last one. You promised not to drink much, but you didn't do it either, you can barely stand on your feet, thank God you don't vomit yet. - Hyun Ju went to bedroom with disappointment, leaving you alone.

You immediately realized how many mistakes you had made and decided to act quickly before it was too late. Taking off your shoes, you crawled to the bedroom, where a girl was sitting on the edge of the bed, silently looking at the floor. You immediately crawled closer to her (it's just very hard for you to walk).

- Hyunnie... - you almost started crying, taking her hands in yours. - I'm sorry... I'm very guilty. It's just..just..we went for a walk so much that I'm completely lost..you know that I'm becoming so irresponsible without you. I really didn't want to..I'm sorry please..I love you very much..- after you looked into her eyes and noticed that her resentment was gradually disappearing, the girl touched her forehead with yours.

- I'm not mad at you. I'm very worried about you, you know. Don't worry, everything is fine. Just more, so that it doesn't happen, okay?

- Yes! Good! - in joy you want to kiss her, but she gently pushed you away, you looked at her with incomprehension.

- This is a small punishment for you. You'll be a little bit without kisses. Besides, you carry a lot of alcohol, and I can't stand it. So, let me help you undress, we'll go to bed, and tomorrow you'll rest after all this, okay? - you nodded understandingly, the girl said the truthful things.

Hyun Ju helped you change into your pajamas, she also brought you a headache pill and put you to bed. Like a real loving girl, she still kissed you, but on the forehead. After that, you fell asleep peacefully.

After all, living with a very disciplined person is still a task, but nothing prevents you. But you won't go to parties without her anymore, and it's not only because she won't let you go.

🩵🩵🩵

[skhv67]

prisoner/patient!nam-gyu x therapist!reader

word count: 2.170

trigger warnings: partially non-con, it gets a bit steamy but not smut really, blood, murder, reader is gender neutral but has a coochie, nam-gyu is a bit manipulative, English ain't my first language

"Ten minutes and 59 seconds."

The sharp piece of metal he had hidden under his bed was now on his hands slightly piercing through the pale skin of his hands while he was lost in his thoughts. Fixing his gaze on a blank spot on the wall, he let his mind wander freely over the possible things he could do after this evening. He could probably go to his plug to get himself a treat for all the time he had endured in this facility, or maybe go to the club to see some familiar faces.

"Six minutes and thirty seconds..."

The adrenaline started to spread through his limbs and the excitement made it hard for him to stay still but he tried his hardest to keep himself composed to not draw any attention while the day was so silent.

While he knew that he probably should be thinking about a strategy or going over the plan again to avoid mistakes, his excitement wouldn't let his mind focus. As he kept picturing what to do after everything was over, images of you plagued his mind suddenly. How could I forget that? A little smirk peeked through his lips as he tapped his foot on the floor in an awful attempt to contain the sudden rush of excitement he felt.

"Three minutes."

Nam-gyu stared at the self inflicted wound —though not intentionally— expressionless. He breathed in and out slowly to calm his nerves as he put the handmade blade up his sleeve, which covered his whole hand anyway. He didn't even have the time right now to reminiscence how hard and painfully long the process of getting a sharp object in a place specifically made to avoid this at all costs was.

He forced himself to go over the plan during the last minute he had before the disaster began. It was simple, he didn't have a big role during the riot, he left that to the ones that had orchestrated all of this, he'd just take the sweet part of the consequences, that being having an opportunity to escape or at least killing a person or two. Worst outcome would be extending his sentence and reinforcing his therapy which meant more time with you, and he couldn't complain about that. He imagined that at this time of the day you'd be listening to one of the plenty of weirdos this place has to offer, but with a pretty smile adoring your face while you carefully helped them with the most gentle and sweet tone he has ever heard. The little smile that has crept up his face leaving immediately as he felt a sting of jealousy at the thought of you helping these people, — at the thought of him just being like the rest in your eyes.

He had to shake his head to bring himself down to earth again, he kept getting distracted. He just had to wait for the signal after the recreational activities end and immobilize —or kill— the guards during the distraction. It'd be easy as the place was understaffed and some of the prisoners had smuggled in some guns... Besides about two guards were paid to turn a blind eye to what was going to happen.

The sound of the rusty door being opened brought him back to his senses and he got up immediately to follow the guard to the room where his lessons would begin in a few minutes. On the way he couldn't help glancing at the door with your name in a little plaque, your charge on the bottom of it. His jaw clenched when he heard your voice talking sweetly to an inmate through the silence of the hallway. Stop, stop, stop...

I'm special to them.

The lesson went painfully slow and he counted down the time for it to be over every five minutes, his mind wandering every time he tried to focus on the time. He was so eager to use the makeshift knife he kept caressing under his sleeve, to get out of here and finally sleep on a real bed, to get the pills he missed so much, to pay you a visit in the middle of the chaos...

"If nobody has any questions, the class is over."

As the guards guided them to the hall, some screams alerted them. A fight between a few inmates broke out, and a few men were trying to separate them. Nam-gyu looked around, nervous eyes trying to connect with anyone that could confirm to him that this was the signal they needed, but everybody was focused on the fight.

He quickly noticed that the fight was getting a little too big to handle for the few poor guards that were there. As one of them was about to call reinforcement, a dark red spot appeared on his chest, probably inflicted by a makeshift knife like the one in his hand.

As Nam-gyu saw this, he didn't waste time burying his own weapon on the neck of one of the guards that was escorting his group. The rest of the inmates followed his lead and shortly after, the mess of bodies and noise induced him in a euphoric state ha hadn't been in a while.

He helped for a bit to take out some guards for the sake of it until he was stopped by the hand of another inmate.

"We need hostages."

Nam-gyu stopped in his tracks, remembering that all of this was part of a bigger plan of some of the leaders of the prison to bargain about the denial of resources and some medical negligence, though he didn't doubt that a few people would use the riot to escape. Like him.

He left the scene as quick as possible, he knew for certain where he had to go first. He sped up his pace to your office and opened the door carefully. The silence of the room contrasted with the loud sound of the mess outside, but he was sure he could hear a faint breathing inside. He closed the door making sure to lock it behind him and looked around with his weapon visibly on his hand. He walked slowly to the desk where he heard the breathes become more rapid and anxious.

He called you by your name, without missing the title, as to show respect even in a situation like this. A little sob escaped your mouth and now he exhaled of relief as he peeked through the desk to look at you. He thought you looked strangely cute with your cheeks wet and sweat all over every bit of skin visible on your outfit. He couldn't think of any other person he'd swoon over looking like that.

"I'm not going to hurt you."

Your trembling hand tried to reach the pocket of your cardigan, which didn't go unnoticed by him. With a frown he used his force to take you off the floor and bring you to your feet in front of him.

"What are you doing?"

No coherent response came out of your lips but begs and prayers.

"I'm so sorry, please don't hurt me."

He was undoubtedly getting annoyed by your reaction, not expecting you to be so apprehensive of him.

"Why would I?" Nam-gyu grabbed your wrist with a little too much force than he probably should. "You think I'm like those out there?"

He pointed outside with disdain and venom, if not jealousy, covered his words. You looked at his weapon, which was as covered in blood as his clothes and skin. Bringing up a hand to his face you took some blood off his cheek, which made his breath hitch. You showed him your fingers now covered in blood too.

"You think I killed someone?" he asked with feigned disbelief. "I had to get some people off my back on the way here, there was no other way. Nothing serious though."

She seemed still doubtful of his words but she chose to believe him for her own good.

"I came here as soon as I could to make sure you were okay." The strong hold on your wrist became a soft caress of your arm. He even dared to put his forehead against yours to soothe you.

"Thank you-" it came out as a whisper. "Nam-gyu."

His heart jumped at you addressing his name, feeling that the situation was finally under his control.

Choosing to ignore the mess outside for a while and give in to his impulses he pushed you gently against the desk, enough to force you to sit on it.

You gulped down nervously, trying to figure out how to get out of this situation. Being on his good side was obviously the best decision here but you didn't know how much you could handle. You weren't expecting Nam-gyu to come here in this moment out of all people, but you'd be lying to yourself if you didn't notice the way he stared at you during his check ups and how he requested your assistance more than any other inmate. You should've stopped this months ago, but who knows who would've come to this office with different intentions if it wasn't him. Maybe you'd be dead.

"I need you to get me out of here." He muttered caressing your thighs through the thin material of your clothes. You cursed your decision of coming with a skirt and some thighs, but how could have you guessed this was going to happen.

"I don't know how"

He laughed briefly and brought your body roughly to his, forcing your legs open. Seriousness covered his face, making your heart race again.

"You have five minutes to think about it" he hovered over and whispered in your ear. "I'm sure you won't make me regret helping you."

Holding back the urge to cry you started to think how on earth you could help a prisoner break out of this facility. While this place is understaffed and away from the city, you're sure help will come any time soon. Right?

Your train of thought came to a halt as you felt his lips on your neck. You had to stop the moan that threatened to leave your lips at the suddenness of the action to remind yourself of the pathetic situation you're in right now. Intense guilt spreadt through your heart when you found yourself enjoying the way his hands were caressing your inner thighs making little circles while he placed soft kisses down your neck.

"Four" he whispered over a wet spot on your neck, giving you chills.

Convincing yourself that your reactions were outside your control, you focused on planning the exit again.

Maybe in the trunk of my car?

His blood stained hand touched your skin under your cardigan and you whined, getting a little laugh out of him.

If the cops aren't outside yet I can get him in my car...

"Are all the guards inside?" you managed to say with the most stable tone he allowed you to have.

He groaned against your skin. "How would I know, doc?"

You gritted your teeth and kept thinking. He kept counting down out loud whenever he wasn't torturing you tracing every bit of your skin.

"Fifty seconds."

Your eyes widened when you felt his fingertips against the most sensitive part of your body. You weren't able to focus at the task in hand no matter how much you tried anymore to distance yourself from the situation. He traced circles through the piece of clothes between you two and you had to fight with every fiber of your soul to not push your crotch against his hand.

"Thirty..."

You started to try to struggle out of his hold but he held you firmly. You didn't think he had it in him. You could only hold his wrist to push his hand away.

"You don't want this, pretty thing?" he whispered, poorly masking the eagerness of his voice. "I'm sure you do. I know you do."

His movements became faster and so did your breathing. You couldn't even hear the noise outside anymore, only his breathing and your own heart.

"I'm sure that pretty pussy feels so much better without all this." He pinched the thighs against your crotch, making you yelp. "That's why you have to get me out of here, pretty. Time's up."

He moved his hand away and you had to hold back a whimper at the loss. You felt a wave of shame and guilt that you had to repress due to the urgency of the situation you were in. You also felt the embarrassingly wet spot in your panties that you're sure he couldn't have noticed through the thighs.

"We can only try to get you out in my car, but I don't know how safe that is, I don't know how many guards are outside or if they'll check my trunk-"

He stopped your babbling with a little peck on your lips and a little smile.

"Let's see."

[moonchild9350]

Lavender Fields Chapter Three: Happiness

Summary: your first session with Hyunjin is here and it’s filled with new opportunities with both of you finding yourselves growing closer.

Pairing: Hyunjin x humanoid!gn!reader

Genre: angst, fluff, sci fi au, romance au

Word Count: 4.4k

Warnings: mention of a nightmare

Notes: I enjoyed writing this chapter as it made me happy lol I hope you enjoy it as well! Let me know what you think of the chapter as always!

Taglist is open-just ask or dm me to be added (age must be in bio or pinned)

Series Summary: You, a humanoid from a different planet, was born within a lab here on earth in the near future, your days filled with servitude and testing within the labs to learn more about your kind as your kind are not able to feel emotion. you had nothing to look forward to until you met Hyunjin, a technician assigned to you. you learn much at his hands and invaluable lessons, enlightening your once purposeless life.

Divider by @cafekitsune

Please do not copy, translate, modify, use, or repost my work elsewhere without my permission. ©moonchild9350 (2024)

Series Masterlist

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The next morning you woke up suddenly, sitting straight up in your bed. There was a thin sheen of sweat littering your face and strands of hair plastered to your cheek.

You placed your hand on your chest, feeling your heart beat rapidly, almost as if it were going to jump out of your chest.

You couldn’t remember what happened exactly, just that you were younger, a little child. You were being dragged away from your mother by another woman.

Your mother’s face was wet and she seemed distraught, her hand reaching out to yours. You tried to reach your hand to grasp hers, but you were too short, your fingers grasping empty air.

The moment seemed so long ago yet so close.

You took a couple of deep breaths, willing yourself to calm down. You knew sleep would be hard to come by now so you decided to stay awake.

You grabbed your favorite book, the one with the lavender fields picture and read, getting lost in the words on the page.

Time passed and before you knew it, there was a knock on your door. You set your book down and sat up straight, watching the door as it swung open.

“Let’s go dear,” the orderly said, gesturing for you to follow her.

You got up and walked behind her, following her until you arrived at the dressing rooms. She helped you get dressed and then guided you to a door.

She stopped short and turned to you. “Hyunjin is waiting for you dear, go ahead in.”

You nodded, twisted the knob swinging the door open, and stepped into what looked like an office.

There were shelves along each wall, hundreds of books stacked haphazardly within them. A black couch was in the middle of the room pilled high with pillows.

You eyes wandered the expanse of the room until they landed on Hyunjin who was sitting in a large chair behind a wooden desk. He was looking through various papers, the rustling sound heard throughout the room.

At your entrance, he looked up, a smile gracing his face.

“Ahh y/n! Come in, have a seat please,” he said gesturing toward the couch.

You shuffled over, sitting down on the plush cushions. Once settled you looked expectedly at Hyunjin.

“Slept well?” Hyunjin asked, raising his eyebrows at you.

“Hmm ok I guess, I woke up in a fit. I remembered being taken away from my mother.”

Hyunjin regarded you for a moment, his eyes studying you. He could see pain in your eyes mixed with confusion. His heart went out to you and how you must have been feeling.

“Ahh I think you had a nightmare. Those are horrible but they go away.”

A nightmare. You tagged the phrase away so you could remember it for next time…if next time ever occurred, which you hoped it wouldn't.

“Well let’s get started on our first session!” Hyunjin said excitedly. “We will be looking at a series of videos today. And then I’ll have you tell me what you observed and what you think about them. Ok?”

You nodded and sat up straighter, wandering what he would show you.

Hyunjin got up and turned off the lights, his office darkening instantly as there was no other light source. He pressed a button on a box, a screen coming to life in the corner of the room.

You watched as he navigated the screen. You couldn’t see what was there however, as his body was blocking your line of sight.

After some time, he backed away and sat back down behind his desk.

“Alright y/n, here’s the first video.”

Your eyes focused on the screen, watching as a few people appeared. They were sitting around a bunch of boxes as they chattered animatedly.

One person suddenly picked up a box and handed it to another person and so on until everyone had passed a box around.

You tilted your head to the side, watching as they tore the paper off of the box and opened the lid. Many of the people shouted as they smiled at the items in their hands. They wrapped their arms around each other and squeezed tight saying ‘thank you’ over and over.

The whole ordeal was strange to you, never having experienced it.

Hyunjin observed you, his eyes intense as he watched your body language. You seemed relaxed, intent on focusing on the screen. He smiled as he saw you cock your head, confusion on your face as the presents were opened.

The clip came to an end, the screen going black. You looked towards Hyunjin, feeling a warmth inside you.

“Ok y/n, what do you think? How do you feel?”

You took a moment to consider his question, not sure what he was expecting. You opted to describe the warm feeling you were experiencing, thinking that was a good place to start.

“When I saw the group of people gather, and smile like you do, and scream I felt a warmth within my chest here,” you said placing your hand over your heart.

Hyunjin smiled at your response as he straightened up in his chair. He was giddy and getting ahead of himself as the session seemed to be progressing smoothly.

“Excellent! Let’s move on, yeah?” Hyunjin replied as he willed himself to calm down.

You nodded turning to the screen again. Another group of people were on the screen, this time gathered around a table as everyone ate food. They seemed to all be engaging with one another, smiles on their faces as they spoke.

It was so different than what you’re used to, the image of your quiet and uneventful meal times popping to mind. The warm feeling seemed to grow larger, and you found the edges of your mouth tipping up, your muscles tightening and spreading to show your teeth.

You mimicked their smile, the action seeming right in the moment. Hyunjin grinned, elated at this discovery. He clapped his hands and turned the video off.

You dropped your smile and looked at Hyunjin, your eyes widened, worried your did something wrong.

“I’m amazed, this is great! Did you felt the same way after watching that clip?”

You nodded your head yes. It was very peculiar the warmth you felt. You felt your heart leap and your mind soar. The thought made you want to go to them, talk with them and join them in their screaming? What was that? No one was running but instead their eyes were closed, their bodies doubled over as they let out the sound.

You’ve heard some of the orderlies and technicians emit the same sound, never directly in front of you however. You wanted to know what it was, never having experienced it yourself. Could you ask Hyunjin?

You looked at him, taken aback at how intensely he was staring at you. He seemed ok, better than Raoul at least. You didn’t think he would come after you if you asked a question.

Hyunjin could tell that your mind was churning, a storm brewing in that brain of yours. He was curious as to what you were thinking about, what has your gaze on him, your lips pursed and eyes scrunched in concentration.

He couldn’t help but think how cute you looked, your long, wavy hair draped over your shoulders, obscuring the horrid gowns they made your kind wear. 'I needed to be careful,' he thought as he shook this thought from his head. His journey with you has only begun, he can’t mess up this opportunity because of his own feelings.

“Something on your mind?” He asked, prompting you to share what was going on in that pretty head of yours.

You hesitated for a moment before deciding to proceed with your question, your curiosity getting the best of you over your own survival.

“I was just wondering what that sort of ‘scream’ was that the people let out? I’ve heard the others around the lab do the same…” you trailed off at the end, stopping yourself before you gave yourself away.

You didn’t want anyone to know you were watching them, observing them, and learning their ways, curious on how humans differ so much from your kind, but yet are so similar.

Hyunjin smiled, not perturbed by your question at all. “That is laughter y/n. Someone spoke of something funny and the others replied with laughter. It’s a joyous feeling.”

You considered what Hyunjin said, your mind memorizing the sound, mechanics of the action, and when to use it. You thought long and hard before looking up at him and letting the edge of your lips curl, wanting to try out the action.

You felt your cheeks bunch, as you revealed your teeth before you let out a laugh, the sound shrill and loud in the otherwise quiet room. You quickly shut your mouth once you heard the sound, your eyes widening at the fact you made that sound.

However, you felt giddy, warm, your face hot at the action causing you to do it again. Your laughter rang out, echoing off the walls in the small room. You couldn’t stop, as you felt liberated, different, and something else you couldn’t quite put your finger on.

Hyunjin was ecstatic at your progress, a key emotion discovered with this session. He listened to your sweet laughter, his heart swelling at the sound. He’s never heard anything more angelic in his life. He watched as you smiled, blush darkening your cheeks as you continued to laugh.

He smiled before signaling for you to stop. After all, he didn’t want someone to hear you if they happened to be walking by his office.

You noticed Hyunjin’s hand, a soft and brief gesture signaling for you to quiet down. You stopped immediately, your heart quickening, watching his face for any signs as to how he would respond.

You shrank back slightly into the couch as he stood up and walked around his desk. He walked until he was in front of the wooden structure and rested against it, his hands in his coat pocket.

“Excellent, y/n. I’d say this session was a success!” Hyunjin exclaimed as he smiled.

You let out the breath you were holding, air rapidly filling your lungs as you took a deep breath just to let it out.

“We will continue our next session in a few days time. I must write my report.”

You watched as he pressed a button on his desk, an orderly showing up moments later at the door.

“Please take y/n back to her room please,” Hyunjin ordered.

You noticed it was Grace, the orderly who took you away from Raoul the day before. You followed her without fuss, turning to look back at Hyunjin once more as you neared the door.

He was watching you leave, a smile on his face as he nodded slightly as if to say ‘good job and goodbye.’ You quickly faced forward again before Grace could notice and exited the office. — — You had made great progress, that was a fact Hyunjin thought as he rounded his desk again. It was to be expected however after he looked at the data from previous sessions and his observations of you throughout the facility.

He was amazed at how quickly you grasped the concept of an emotion and how eager you were to test it out. He quickly but efficiently made notes on today’s encounter, elaborating on your reactions and responses to the clips.

Hyunjin however made two separate copies of notes, one for his personal use and one for the board. He wasn’t quite ready for them to know the extent of your knowledge, wanting to keep you to himself for a little while longer.

He also felt the need to protect you, the feeling running deeper than he realized. It’s been a while since he’s had any form of companionship, opting to focus on his career first and foremost. However, he felt his priorities start to change when he laid eyes on you.

He put down his pen and reached into his bag, his fingers brushing against a chain safely on attached to a board. He would visit you once more today before he made it to his progress meeting this afternoon.

Hyunjin only hopes you’ll like his little surprise. — — Once you were back in your room, you sat on your bed facing your mural. You learned so much during today’s session, more than you have during your time here.

This laughter must be a feeling that the humans discuss all the time. If it truly was, you rather enjoyed it, the feeling felt nice as you thought about it.

Standing up, you walked over to your paints. You began to organize your space, making sure you had everything you needed to continue your mural.

You picked up the pretty shade of purple and mixed some with some white paint, creating a beautiful shade of light purple that would match the lavender flowers in your book.

You let your mind wander as your hand moved across the wall. You applied delicate strokes, wide strokes, narrow strokes, creating the intricate details of the beautiful flowers.

You began to hum, the song bringing the smile back to your face. As your voice rang out, your mind drifted to your mother, briefly remembering how she would sing this song to you, while gently brushing your hair.

It was a nice time, a memory you did not want to forget, unlike so many others.

You were so lost in your painting, that you did not hear the knock at your door. As the lock clicked and door opened, you dropped your paint brush, jumping slightly at the interruption.

Turning towards the door, you noticed Hyunjin standing there, a sheepish smile on his face.

“Knock, knock, can I come in?” He asked as he stepped into your room, closing the door gently.

You set down your paints and faced him, wondering why he was here at what you assumed was a late hour.

“I um…just came to check on you, make sure you were all right after today’s session.”

Hyunjin’s eyes wandered around your room, taking in your simple bed made to perfection and your book shelf filled with books. The sight made him smile, as he could imagine you curled up with a book as you filled your head with its contents.

He continued the tour of the room, his head turning to view the painting on the wall. He eyes widened at the sight as he was taken aback at the beauty of it all. He had no idea that you were so talented, your feelings depicted on the concrete, even if you were not aware of it.

“This is impressive,” he breathed as he walked closer to you, his eyes taking in every detail of the painting.

You watched his reaction as he took in your masterpiece, a small smile forming as you gazed at him. You couldn’t help but stare at his profile, your heart beating faster as you took in his eyes, his little mole beneath his eye, to his hair.

You felt the need to reach out and run your fingers through the strands, wandering if they felt as soft and smooth as it looked. You quickly recovered however, clearing your mind as you focus on Hyunjin. You’re not sure what just happened.

“Why did you choose a lavender field?” Hyunjin asked, turning to look at you.

You walked over to your book shelf and eyed the books, looking for your favorite one. Spotting it, you picked it up and thumbed through the pages, looking for the picture with the beautiful flowers.

“Here it is,” you murmured as you walked back over to Hyunjin. “Lavender fields. The flowers are really beautiful. When I look at them, I feel warm and at peace. It is similar to what I explained after watching those films today.”

Hyunjin stared at you in shock. You were describing feeling happy. These flowers made you feel happy. He made a mental note to write this fact down once he got back to his office.

“Y/n, what you are describing is an emotion we call happiness. When something or someone makes you happy, you can feel warm inside, may laugh or smile like the people in the film.”

Hyunjin paused, as you took in his words as you seemed to be deep in thought.

So that’s what it was, happiness, you were feeling happy. It was a joyous feeling at that and you are glad your painting and books made you experience this.

You walked over to your bed and sat down, placing the book in your lap. You stared at the page, your fingers gently tracing over the lines of the picture, the stems and color slowly fading after so many years of you tracing the photo.

You felt the bed dip, as Hyunjin sat next to you. You could feel his eyes on you, as he watched you study the picture. You sat in silence for a while, the sound of your soft breathing filling the room. You could hear your heart pounding within your chest as you felt the warmth radiating off the man next to you.

You took in his scent, the smell pleasant to your senses as you deciphered something along the lines of vanilla and honey. It was comforting, your body relaxing as you breathed him in.

After a while you broke the silence, believing it okay to let Hyunjin know what has been on your mind.

“I want to see them some day, a lavender field. I want to walk through the flowers, to see if they are as soft as they seem, if they give off a sweet fragrance as the book describes.”

You sighed, resting your hand on your book, willing your heart to calm. At first Hyunjin stayed silent, his eyes still on you as he contemplated your desire. He wants nothing more than for you to succeed and be happy and now he has gained insight into your mind, one of your desires voiced.

He knows it must have taken great courage to divulge this secret, as you risk a lot voicing it. Your secret was safe with him that was for sure. And maybe, just maybe, one day he can take you to see such a field. He smiled at the thought of standing by your side in such a field, taking in such a beautiful sight.

“That is a beautiful dream y/n. I hope one day it may come true,” Hyunjin said as he continued to look at you.

You looked up at his words and faced him, staring into his brown eyes. There was something there, his eyes trying to tell you something, however you are not sure what.

You could feel your cheeks flush, as blood rushed to the area, as he matched your gaze. You placed your hand on your heart, feeling it rapidly thump underneath your palm.

Without a moments hesitation, you placed your hand on Hyunjin’s chest directly over is heart. Hyunjin stared at you in shock, but sat still, his eyes on yours as you both sat there in silence. You felt his heart beat, the rhythm matching yours in speed.

He must be feeling the same way you are right now…happy. You smiled at the thought, the joy reaching your eyes.

Hyunjin was taken aback at your actions, watching as you smiled. He would give anything to know what was going through your head. Instead of break the silence however, he sat there and let you feel his heart that was beating wildly, your touch affecting him more than he wanted to let on.

A few moments passed and you quickly dropped your hand, your eyes cast downwards so as not to meet Hyunjin’s eyes. You’re not sure why you did what you did, but you would do it again, that much you know.

You liked how warm his skin felt against yours, the reminder that the same blood that flowed through you also flowed through him as well; that his heart beats just like yours, matching your pace. The thought was nice, giving you reassurance that maybe humans weren’t so far different from you after all.

Hyunjin took a few breaths, willing his heart to slow down after what just occurred. You truly were different, a fact in which he liked very much. He remembered the object stored away in his pocket, something he grabbed last minute before he headed to your room.

He really was playing with fire if he went through with what he wanted to do, but he considered you worth it. He wanted your relationship to continue to flourish, for reasons he was not sure about it, the thought of wanting to help you integrate into society and his own personal feelings mixing in a dangerous way.

He reached into his pocket and pulled out the necklace and turned to face you a little better.

You noticed Hyunjin fidgeting in his pocket, pulling out something a moment later. Looking down at his hand, you saw a necklace laying delicately in his palm. You thought it beautiful, like your lavender fields, the stars and moon that were attached to the chain shining from the light.

“I got this for you y/n, it reminded me of you.” Hyunjin said smiling.

You were speechless, unsure of what to say. You racked your brain for the appropriate response, trying to remember what the people said in the video when they received the boxes filled with goods. A moment later, you remembered the phrase.

“Thank you,” you said, smiling back at him.

“Can I put it on you?”

You nodded and watched as Hyunjin stood up and walked behind you. You felt his fingers brush your hair to the side, exposing your neck, goosebumps popping up at the sudden exposure to the cold.

Hyunjin placed the necklace gently around your neck before fastening the clasp. Once he was done, he walked back to where he was sitting, his eyes finding the necklace perched on your chest.

He thought it beautiful, definitely suiting you as you were as unique as the moon and stars that littered the sky at night.

“It looks beautiful on you,” he said softly. “You’ll need to store it away before leaving your room so the orderlies and higher ups will not see it. Okay?”

You nodded your head, your fingers reaching up to touch the pendant. You’ve never been gifted anything before. You felt happy and would take care of the necklace as you do all of your possessions.

After another moment of silence, Hyunjin stood up. “Well, I should be going, I need to finish up some work before calling it a night. I’ll see you at your next session.”

You watched as he looked at your mural again before walking to the door, exiting your room as quietly as he came. What a strange encounter you couldn’t help but think. You wondered if your peers have experienced happiness as you have. Maybe you would ask them if you ever got the chance, which was highly unlikely.

You stood up and went back to painting, your other hand reaching up to touch the moon and star pendant occasionally. You found yourself smiling as you continued to mix the swirls of color, painting with renewed fervor. — — Hyunjin was almost late to his debrief. He was jogging through the halls, your file in hand. He arrived only a few minutes late, but by the looks on the faces of the chief and other technicians, even those few minutes were unacceptable.

“Come in Hyunjin, let’s get started. What data have you gathered on y/n? Your first session was today correct? And you spent some time with them yesterday as well?” The chief said as Hyunjin sat down and opened his file.

“Yes, I did meet with them yesterday and today. There is much to learn from y/n, I haven’t made any strides yet, but I believe I will soon.”

Hyunjin was lying. He’s never lied to the chief before, but he felt he had to in order to protect you. He knew what would happen if he reported what he discovered, that you were capable of expressing and experiencing emotions just like humans.

He wanted more time with you, to get to know you, and help you learn without interference. Hyunjin kept a straight face as he reported, his eyes meeting the chiefs. There was a moment as the chief stared him down, trying to find any cracks in his words.

After a while, the chief nodded, seemingly satisfied with his answer. Hyunjin didn’t dare let out the breath he was holding, opting to breathe shallow breaths as he waited for the chief’s response.

Time went past, the silence was deafening. Something was wrong Hyunjin thought. Why hasn’t the chief said anything. Hyunjin tried not to fidget in his chair. He tried to keep eye contact with those around him. He tried not to think of his notes that he kept hidden in the drawer of his desk, stored safely behind a false backing.

He could hear a clock somewhere in the room, the rhythmic tic tock slowly getting to him. Hyunjin was about to say something, to see if anything was wrong, when the door opened, a man stepping into the silent room.

Hyunjin couldn’t believe his eyes, as Raoul walked to an empty seat and sat down, a smirk on his face as he looked at Hyunjin.

“Excellent, now that we’re all here, let’s continue,” the chief said.

What is going on? Why is Raoul here? Something is definitely not right.

Hyunjin was sweating, his shirt sticking to his body as he tried to maintain a steady breath.

“Now, why don’t you give us the real report Hyunjin and don’t you lie again. I know everything that has gone down with your little 'sessions',” Raoul sneered.

Shit. This isn’t good. Hyunjin scrambled to make an excuse, his mind set on protecting you and your future. Taking a deep breath, he steadied himself and looked at everyone gathered around the table.

‘Here goes nothing. Im sorry y/n, I will protect you at all costs.’ He thought as he began to rectify his previous statement, his heart heavy.

“Here is everything I’ve learned so far about y/n.”

Taglist: @jehhskz @jeonginsleftcheek @simpforleeknaur @armystay89 @palindrome969 @slut4hee @ivydoesit23 @amarecerasus @kaysungshine @fun-fanfics @baby-stay92 @velvetmoonlght @possum-playground @frehyun @seungminsbest @nightmarenyxx @linocvp1d @ddroh @redlightsallnight @eastjonowhere @stayjinnie @techsgoggles @puccaaak @krayzieestay @skzfelixlove @amenabiii @qwonyoung23 @skzdreamer13

[maybe-boys-do-love]

Finished Last Twilight, and I'm not adding to the ableism discourse, because most things have already been said and with a lot of beautiful nuance that I agree with. But I do want to talk about how that ending arrived because of Aof Noppharnach's consistent symbolic commentary on the experience of living with HIV in much of his work, with an approach that's unique among all queer content. Imma skip Gay OK Bangkok since its not even a metaphor there, but I'll explain my rationale for the others, and we can just appreciate the foundation Gay OK Bangkok lays for us to think about the rest of his stuff.

The motif of life-saving medical intervention comes up in all but one of the works he takes screenwriting credit on. He's Coming To Me: P'Med dies originally because of a lack of medical intervention. 1000 Stars: Tian gets a heart transplant. Moonlight Chicken: this one's more subtle, but the whole series is explicitly established in the context of reopening following the COVID pandemic, and Wen will later say to Jim, "we are survivors." It was this line upon rewatch that made me start considering how thorough this theme is. Survivors of what? The meaning is three-fold: hard lessons in love, COVID, and, for gay men of their age, the HIV epidemic. The hope of medical intervention for Day's condition takes on a secondary meaning, with this trend in mind, even if the mixed disability politics between visual impairment and being HIV positive really fails.

His comparisons are more intricate though. Pills and daily regimens are a consistent motif. Day has his daily eye-drops, Tian his pills (which are presumably immune-suppressants to help accept the transplant but I'm not going to Viki right now and watching every ep to find out so someone feel free to correct me). 'But people take medicine for lots of things,' you say. 'Just because its gay doesn't mean its an HIV metaphor!' You have a fair point! But here's where Aof gets real fun and sneaky. P'Med dies from lack of pills the same year Torfun, whose heart will save Tian's life, is born, 1997. I'm mentioned once before 1997 as important for the class-conscious Aof because of the Asian financial crisis that Thailand set off that year. However, 1997 is also important because its the year HAART, or Highly Active Anti-Retroviral Therapy was first used in Thailand (it had hit the market only one year earlier). HAART, a multi-drug regimen, boosted someone's life-expectancy with HIV up by 15 years, and its side-effects were significantly milder than previous approaches. The medical conditions of P'Med and Torfun's heart point us directly to HAART, and what it could offer.

Now we're moving out of the medical and into the experiential connections because, while Dark Blue Kiss is the only work Aof chose to take credit for screen-writing without incorporating medical references, it is by far the most dense with references to the issue of concealment. Its in the narrative as people closet identities and hide relationships, yes, but its in SO much of the visuals, too, most obviously the Pete & Kao mug hidden inside its coozie. It's easy to see the surface story about gay visibility and the closet, but there's a more specific subtext here about the associated condition that intensified the stigma of being gay and how that impacts your sense of self. Bad Buddy explores this issue less, but even in the BL Bubble, its haunted by the stigma of homophobia--it just shuffles it over onto rivalry so the audience can experience it without reproducing it.

However, the grief and shame of surviving when others haven't haunts Aof's other works much more intensely. Jim and Tian both are hung up on guilt for someone's death that they did not actually cause, continuing to pursue the goals for those that passed rather than their own. Then, there's Thun and P'Med, which is the best allegory for living and dating with HIV, bar none. It goes into the feelings of stigma and the limits of physical intimacy with partners that living with HIV caused, especially prior to Truvada's introduction in 2004. Even then, the show depicts how a HIV negative partner maintains the choice to participate in their own regimens, as Thun's desires for physical intimacy with P'Med manage their relationship and never the other way around.

This sense of required separation and gay identities that are less sex-focused also play into oft-maligned motifs in Aof's work. He's talked explicitly about people's criticisms of the limited physical intimacy in his earlier works that led to the more prominent stuff in Bad Buddy, but I hope given the above context, we can appreciate why physical intimacy is less of a priority than other kinds (and I'd add that 1000 Stars, which got the most sh*t about it, is actually one of the most erotically-charged BLs out there because of it's restraint). Then, you have the finales where characters separate for periods of time, and while I don't see this as explicitly tied to HIV experiences (Aof is literally following the book of romcom beats there, even if everyone whines about it), I can't help but appreciate a tangential connection to loving beyond time and distance that was required for those who lived with or lost loved ones to HIV.

I would've loved to see a version of Last Twilight that didn't absolutely bungle its metaphor, because it had every element to be something great (except, I'm sorry to the fans, lead actors with the necessary queer romantic chemistry). Watching the last episode, when the show seemed to finally rediscover plot and pacing, all the other pieces that had been drowned out by the disability conversation peeked their heads out, and I saw what the show wanted to be. The topics related to living with HIV of stigma, survivor's guilt, and assistive technologies: they were all right there, not just for Day but for everyone, if only they had been given the proper time to marinate to develop more complexity. It's the rare instance of a show where I'll choose to spend time imagining what could have been rather than obsessing over what was or just moving on. Even a misstep from Aof, like this, is overflowing with so many more layers than most series. The failures of Last Twilight, in relationship to his other works, even let you see how much food for thought he's providing.

[whxre-bxby]

"Colourful Pills"

"Colourful Pills" (in case you can't read the colours, sorry I got creative)

Recom Mansk x Recom Y/N

Masterlist

There are two versions of Mansk:

1. The quiet, soft and whipped one. He acts like this when he has a genuine crush and has fallen hard.

2. Mansk is cocky and confident, keeping up his badass and intimidating image. He may find you attractive but he isn’t in love.

(this is a friends with benefits arrangement)

Summary: Mansk has been your best friend for many years. When you go into heat, he is a good friend and there to help you :)

WARNINGS: SMUT, foul language, oral f. receiving, penetration, mating (with tsaheylu), heat fucking

Word Count: 6936

Mansk and I worked in the same department as humans. During the battle, we were sent out into the field at different times so we didn’t know we lost each other. 

I woke up first with Walker, Ja and Lopez. They had to wake us up in smaller groups in case something went wrong. Once we were dressed we were dismissed to take our new bodies for a ‘test run’. Walker and I went to the cafeteria to help some soldiers move heavy furniture. We were often assigned tasks like these because the RDA decided to take advantage of our height and strength.

The others were woken up after us and the second group came through the door which consisted of Prager, Brown, Warren and Mansk. 

I was holding up a huge cupboard by pressing it against my back to keep it from falling while the human soldiers worked on removing something from the wall behind it. Walker was standing nearby while Ja was sitting and just watched. 

“Ay, welcome back group 2.” Ja joked and Lopez grinned, getting up to greet his previous friends. 

After that was out the way they turned to Walker and me who were now both holding up the furniture. 

“Who are they?” Brown asked. It was difficult to recognise a face in Na’vi form. Especially when we had our backs turned to them.

“Walker and Y/N.” Lopez said, smiling when he saw how we were struggling. 

Mansk’s ears perked up when he heard your name. You had died? But more importantly, you were alive now? You were a part of the recom team?

He looked between the two Na’vi females and recognised you by your movements and hair. Yep, it was you. 

I turn around, pushing the cupboard upright by pressing my back into it again. Mansk had seen my face now and was relieved and happy to see me. 

My eyes meet his and I freeze. 

“Mansk?” I call out, wondering whether it was him. 

“You know her?” Prager asked and Mansk looked at his feet, grinning to himself in slight pride before walking to me. He knew the girl they were all watching. 

My mouth drops open and I straighten my posture, taking a step forward. 

“Y/N don’t let it go!” Walker shouts almost crumbling beneath the weight herself. I flinch and quickly turn around, helping her push it back up all the way. 

“God damn, it almost crushed us.” She says, wiping her forehead. I laugh lightly and apologise before turning back to my friend I’ve known for years. 

“Hey.” he said, smiling at me and glancing at the cupboard. 

“I didn’t know you-” 

“Yeah, I thought it might be a good idea.” Mansk says and I smile. “I didn’t know you signed up for the programme either.” he says to me. 

“Well, why not? Don’t have much to lose, so.” I say with a chuckle and his smile widens. 

From then on things went smoothly. Mansk and I felt comfortable with each other because we knew each other for so long. We sat together during meal times whenever one of us wasn’t already crowded up by other recom’s and we would mess around during training sessions. 

One day, the Colonel called all the recom’s into one of the lab rooms for some type of lesson or meeting. I followed Lyle who knew where to go. We were already a few minutes late because one of the doors didn’t react to our keycard. Mansk was walking behind me as we rushed past people and through hallways. 

Since many soldiers and other workers had never seen real Na’vi before in their lives, seeing the recom’s was interesting to them. When you would all walk somewhere, most people stopped what they were doing to watch. That was the case now as well and everyone moved out of our way. 

Mansk’s newly sensitive ears would catch a few comments some people dropped and since he was walking behind you he would see how mainly male soldiers would watch you go by and then joke or say something inappropriate. 

When he walked by he glared at them, stepping into their space to make them flinch out of the way. Once, he even snarled at a soldier and was surprised at how naturally it came to him. It just made him angry to see people ogle you. Especially because you were his friend. 

Lyle opened the door and we three stepped in, seeing the other recom’s already gathered around a large beamed-up display screen. There were two humans in lab coats getting a presentation started. 

The Colonel flashed a glare at Lyle for us being late before we went and stood by them. I walked over to Z-Dog who was also closest to me and Mansk was pulled to Prager and Lopez by Prager and Lopez so that he was roughly standing behind me. 

The two people started talking and it seemed they were explaining our bodies to us again. We had been informed of the main parts before we signed up to become recom’s but it seems they had more to add. 

About 20 minutes in I was starting to lose interest until one of them opened a small carton box and pulled out pills which were definitely not for humans to swallow. 

“Also, uh-  you three, “ One of them says, motioning to Walker, Z-Dog and me. “...will need to take these.” he says, holding up the yellow and green pills which look completely abnormal. Then he claps his hands and closes the presentation. 

Z and I exchange confused looks. He didn’t say why. 

“Okay, that’s it for today-” 

“Why do we need them?” I ask, putting my weight on one leg while looking at him with crossed arms. He stops mid-sentence and looks at me, seeming almost nervous. 

“Well- it’s complicated…” he says, looking at his work partner for help who is now avoiding eye contact with us. 

“I wanna know what it is before I take it.” I add and Walker nods, not seeming particularly happy. 

I hear the Colonel sigh and see him pinch the bridge of his nose if our noses even have those anymore. Maybe it was just a force of habit. 

“Y/N if I tell you te’ swallow those pills, you’re gonna swallow ‘em. Understood?” he asked and I uncrossed my arms. 

“Yes, sir.” I reply, looking away but the human intervenes. 

“No, it’s okay.” he says. 

“Completely understandable.”  the other adds on. 

He takes a deep breath. “You see, the Na’vi have certain seasonal behaviour.” he says and I listen, wondering where the fuck this is going. 

“That includes mating season.” he says and my smirk drops from my face. Oh no. Now I regret asking. Z looks at me and chuckles, seeing how mortified I look. 

“Female Na’vi go into ‘heat’ and since that season is approaching you need to take these.” he says, motioning back to the pills. I’m speechless and it seems everyone else is too. Everyone but the Colonel, who seemed to already know that. 

“Otherwise you won’t be able to work properly.” he says, seeming relieved it was over and how well he handled it. Z nudges me playfully and I slap her hand away, acknowledging my mistake of asking. 

“What’es that mean?” a recom a bit further away asks and the scientist sighs, seeming to regret their career choices. 

“ ‘Means Y/N will be uncontrollably horny if she doesn’t listen.” Z happily answers, sparing the human the trauma. 

“More like painfully horny.” Walker adds and chuckles. 

A few chuckles erupt around us and I clutch my face in my hand. I can feel someone’s eyes burning into me from behind but I refuse to turn around because I’m too embarrassed. 

“Just take them.” The person says, handing me a packet before giving them to Z and Walker. 

“Yes.” I mumble, examining and inspecting the pills from a closer angle. 

“How do we stop it if we forget to take ‘em?” Walker asks as the human returns to the front. 

“You can’t. The only other solution is, uh- mating.” he replies, adjusting his glasses and Walker wheezes. Z laughs at her reaction.

“Like, male and female?” I ask and Quaritch groans in frustration because he feels like he’s taking care of hormonal teenagers. 

Yet only we three had the courage to ask. 

“Yes, male and female.” the scientist reassures. 

“Hm.” I hum and Z glances at me. 

“Ask it now or I will.” she says, nudging my elbow again but I refuse, not wanting this to come up in conversation. Z-Dog however is ruthless and couldn’t care less. 

“What about female and female.” she looks at the scientist with a grin, resting an arm on my shoulder. I glance up at him and he seems nervous again. A recom snorts behind us and Quaritch has given up on his team.

“Uh- no that won’t work.” he says, no longer looking into our eyes. 

Z pretends to be heartbroken with the goal of further embarrassing me. 

“Damn, Y/N I thought we could have fun.” she pouts. 

“Shut up right now.” I whisper my threat, trying to hold back laughter. Walker is fighting her laugh too. Z’s smirk turns into a bigger grin before she nods, letting me be. 

The meeting is over and I’m one of the first people to exit the room, heading straight to our dormitories. 

Someone jogs to catch up with me and I glance at them, noticing it’s Mansk. Oh god. 

“Hey, where you runnin’ off to?” he asks with a breathy laugh. 

“Away from Zdinarsk.” I say, groaning and running my hand over my face. He laughs as we walk before his gaze falls to the pills I’m holding. 

“Can I see?” Mansk asks and I nod, handing him the odd-looking medication. 

“Well, at least you won’t lose ‘em.” he jokes, hinting to their absurd colour and I chuckle before he gives them back. “Yeah.” 

We reach our rooms and he pats my back. “You better take ‘em otherwise I’ll have to be fighting off the others for you.” Mansk jokes, his eyes gazing into mine as he rests his hands in his pockets. I smile and nod. 

“I’m not gonna risk it.” I say and he nods. 

“See you around.” Mansk replies with a smile and a light wave before walking to his room which was only a few doors down. I go inside to my shared room with Z and place the pills on the table. 

The next few days are normal but on the fourth day after the meeting, I woke up feeling really thirsty. My mouth is dry but somehow it is salivating at the same time. I sit up, looking down at my body only to realise I had kicked the blanket off of me while sleeping. My skin felt really warm and my head was a little fuzzy. 

I gasp, remembering the heat cycle. I get on my knees, holding on to the railing of the bunk bed and look underneath me only to find that Z-Dog was already gone. My heart sank even more and I quickly check the time. Shit. I overslept. Not just a little, it was already LATE AFTERNOON!

Climbing down the ladder I groan, pissed off the Z didn’t wake me. But maybe I was sleeping so tightly she couldn’t. 

The pills…

That didn’t matter that much though because my body was burning up and I needed to take the pills. 

They weren’t on the table anymore. I stand there, blankly staring at the spot I had left them in. Maybe Z thought they were hers? Or she took them on purpose to annoy me. Whatever she had done, it was bad and I was having a crisis. I dig through our bags and underneath our blankets, pillows and mattresses but there is nothing. No sign of them at all.

Okay plan B, find Z-Dog and get them back. 

I put my hand on the doorknob before freezing. My eyes scan my body before I look back up and let out a frustrated sigh. 

“Clothes.” I mumble, almost forgetting. But there was no time to get dressed in uniform so I just threw a t-shirt I found on a chair over me, keeping on my sleeping bra and shorts. 

“Go find Z.” I mumble, rubbing my forehead. I don’t know why I was speaking my thoughts out loud but it helped me organise them. 

I close the door behind me, speedwalking down the corridor before my body is punched with the feeling of thirst once again. It’s so extreme that I’m panting. 

“Water...” I mumble, hastily looking around. The plan of finding Z is gone now.

Perfect! Mansk’s room is right here. He’ll have water if he’s there. Without another single little thought going through my ‘heat drunk’ and clouded mind, I’m already knocking on his door. I raise my knuckles and knock again, calling out his name and before I can let my hand rattle his door once more he opens it, seeming confused as to why the knocking was so urgent. 

“Y/N?” he asks, standing in the doorway but I can’t even greet him I just push past Mansk and walk inside his room. He seems surprised but amused and closes the door behind him, turning to me.

I’m mumbling and chanting ‘water’ as I look for a water bottle or a can with any drink in it.

“What are you doin’?” he asks, smirking at me and my weird behaviour. 

“I’m thirsty.” I say as if it were the most obvious thing on the planet. 

“Right. And you ran out of water?” he asks, stepping closer. 

“No?” I reply. It hadn’t crossed my mind to go back to my room for water. 

Mansk doesn’t question it further and fishes a bottle out of his bag, handing it to me. I quickly grab the plastic, gulping down the water and panting once it’s done. Why am I still panting? It should be gone by now. 

“Damn. Are you okay?” he asked and I stared blankly for two seconds before looking at him and shaking my head. 

“I need to find Zdinarsk.” I say, putting the empty bottle down. “Help me find her please, it’s urgent.” I say, walking to the door but only making it halfway before my body tenses up and I’m instinctively pressing my legs together. 

Mansk seems agitated by something. He unclasps his hands from tightly balled fists before looking back up at me. “What happened?” he asked, sounding normal which made me forget his odd behaviour. Not that mine was any more normal. 

“I forgot to take my pills.” I mumble, palming my forehead before nervously looking at him as if he had a solution. Mansk chuckles, thinking I’m joking. How could someone lose such brightly coloured meds?

“Yeah, you lose your uniform too?” he playfully said back, grinning a little. I stared at him helplessly. I needed these pills now. 

“Mansk I’m serious. I can’t find them and I think Z-Dog has them-” I say, bending over and leaning my arms on my knees while I pant for air. 

The smirk falls right from Mansk’s face as he watches me carefully, studying my every move and my behaviour. 

“We need to-” I say, gulping and then gasping for air. “... find her, before I…” I say trailing off and standing upright, now looking at the ceiling. Sweat beads were forming on my skin and I felt my core throbbing. But I tried ignoring it as best I could because I didn’t want to make it weird for Mansk. 

“You sayin’ you didn’t take the meds?” he asks, wrapping a hand around the edge of a chair and squeezing it until his knuckles turn white. His ears are strained back and his tail starts swaying a little more wildly. Similar to the way mine is acting which I only notice now. 

“No, I couldn’t find-” 

“And you came here?” he asks, raising his voice a little. I look up at him and he notices how glossy my eyes have become. 

“I didn’t know where else to go-” I reply almost in a sob, my voice breaking. Suddenly I feel overly emotional. 

 “I thought you could help me.” I say, sniffling. Mansk tilts his head to the side a little and I notice how tense he is. 

“Help?” he repeats.

“Find Z so I can get the pills back and-” I whine, wrapping an arm around my waist. It was starting to ache between my legs and it was becoming extremely hard to ignore. 

“Y/N the pills won’t help now.” He tells me and my ears perk forward. 

What does he mean? How would they not?

“But the doctor said-”

“You have to take them before you… feel like this. Not during it.” Mansk states and I stare at him wide-eyed. That’s it then I’m done for. 

“They said it while you were leavin’.” he added, mumbling the last part. 

I whimper, hugging my waist and crouching down. What do I do now?

Mansk is watching me, fighting the urge to come to help me. 

The second you walked past him and into his room, he could smell your strong and sweet scent. It filled his nostrils and now it was all he could smell. It was addicting to him, luring him towards you so he had to resist for the sake of your friendship. But seeing you fight it like that made him feel bad. 

“It hurts…” I sob, my hands trembling a little. Never in my life have I experienced a feeling this intense. Nothing could compare to the cravings I had for the filthiest things I could imagine. 

“That bad, huh?” Mansk asks, taking a few steps towards me and I nod through a sniffle.

It would make Mansk a bad friend if he wouldn’t offer to help you. Not that he was pushing himself to do so. In fact, he was holding himself back from just doing what his own instincts told him to do. But you were important to him and he could never leave you hanging like this in misery. Mansk was able to give you what you needed and he was also more than happy to do so. 

“I can help you with that.” he offered, towering over my bent-over form. I look up through now teary eyes. The sight makes his stomach twist with excitement. 

Slowly I get up, pushing myself off my knees so that I’m standing in front of him. 

He was looking at me seriously and I could tell he wasn’t joking or making fun of me. 

“Help me?” I ask, completely dumbfounded and he nods, not tearing his eyes away from mine. I notice how much darker his have become. 

“How?” I ask, just wanting to make sure we mean the same thing. 

The corners of his lips turned upwards slightly as he admired my widely blown eyes nervously flickering and scanning his face. 

“Y/N what is it you want right now?” he asks, placing a finger beneath my chin to make me look at him. “What do you need?”

My lips part slightly as I feel the urge to answer but the answer is right in front of me. Since I’m too much mentally gone, I just truthfully answer. 

“You.” I whisper, oddly feeling no shame. Mansk looks very pleased with my answer. 

“How bad?” he teases, swiping his thumb over my wet lips.

I shivered, closing my eyes at the sensation for a second before looking back at him. 

“So bad…” I whisper, trying to stay composed but then I break. My eyebrows furrow and I whimper, clenching my thighs together. “Mansk I need you so much…” 

He wasn’t expecting you to be so desperate but it definitely turned him on by that much more. Now he was horny too and he felt his dick twitch at your words. 

“Fuck, babygirl you gon’ have me actin’ up if you keep doin’ that.” he smirked, admiring how flushed my cheeks have become. 

“You want me?” he asks, wanting to make sure one last time before you both overstep the boundary of your friendship. 

“Let me take care of you.” he whispers, leaning down and pulling my body flush against his. His hand wraps around the back of my neck as he pulls my face to his and our lips are firmly pressed against each other. I immediately melt into him, accepting everything he’s giving me.

“Yes.” I cry out, throwing my head back and he grins. 

I tightly clench my fingers around the cloth of his tanktop, humming into the kiss and he growls. 

Mansk’s hands are planted on my back, pulling me further into him as they trace down lower. Suddenly, he slides them down and gropes the flesh of my ass. I moan into the kiss and he takes advantage of that and lets his tongue explore my mouth. 

Mansk doesn’t keep you waiting for long though. He knows how bad you have it and quite frankly, seeing you like this has him becoming desperate for you too. But he will make sure you get what you need before he takes care of himself. 

We pull away for air and Mansk keeps his eyes locked with mine. 

“What you need from me, sweat’eart?” he asks, now breathing heavier too. 

I know what I want him to do but I’m still scared of making him uncomfortable. 

He smiles when you look away, noticing how shy you are even in this state. Mansk liked it. Mainly because you were always cocky and teasing around him. Finally, he got to see this side of you and it did things to him. 

“C’mon pretty, tell me and I’ll do it.” he cooed softly, cupping my cheek in a comforting way as he leaned in a little closer so that he could watch my every reaction. 

“Touch me…” I say but it comes out sounding like a squeak. Mansk groans through his clenched jaw, balling his fist up tightly again but this time in the cloth of my loose t-shirt. This is really putting all his self-control to the test. 

“Where?” He asks, wanting you to be precise so he can please you as best he can. That was really Mansk’s main priority right now. But he saw how your hot tears were threatening to spill and felt a little bad about making you spell it out for him. 

“Anywhere.” I whine, looking up at him with big eyes which are clearly asking for help while I sniffle. 

That’s all your best friend needs to hear. It’s also all he can stand and listen to because now he was no longer able to restrain himself from touching you. 

His hands rested on the side of my lower waist and he gently guided me backwards until my knees were pushed against the bed. 

He smiled to reassure me and I sat down on his mattress. He leaned down on his arms and connected our lips once again before tapping my thigh and signalling me to move over. I listened while my own stomach twisted in excitement and anticipation. 

He straightened his posture and his arms reached behind his back before he tugged his own top over his head. I couldn’t tear my eyes from him. He looked perfect in every goddamn way. Everything on him looked sculpted and so attractive I wanted to worship and touch his body.

But that wasn’t happening. At least not today because Mansk was here to help you. 

He leaned down, placing a knee on the bed and making the mattress dip before he crawled over to me. I had my head resting on his pillow and he smirked down at me. 

Never would he have thought he would have you like this. And all to himself too. 

When the heat cycle was mentioned, Mansk immediately felt protective again. He would make sure no one would get especially close to you, other than himself of course. You were close friends so there wouldn’t be any suspicions. 

His large, warm hands travel up my waist and with them he slowly pushes up the fabric of my shirt, making the cloth crinkle until it reaches above my chest. I lean forward and he helps me take it off so that I’m only left in my bra and shorts I wear to bed. 

“You’re so pretty, baby.” he mumbles, kissing down the warm skin of my neck. My hands find his bare torso and I trace his skin, exploring and feeling as much of him as I can. I’d seen him shirtless before during training but this was so much more intimate. 

He notices the way I shiver at his words, taking note of how his praise affects me. He’d use that to his advantage later. 

All fabric on my skin is now bothering me and finally, my knight in shining armour helps me by peeling my bra off. I sigh, feeling more comfortable with every piece of clothing being discarded. 

The sight makes his confident self falter for a few seconds. He always knew you were attractive. That was part of the reason he looked out for you so much too. Obviously, he cared for you but he knew that your looks often lured in the wrong kind of attention and he saw it as his duty to protect you from those kinds of people. 

But you weren’t just pretty or hot anymore, you were beautiful to him. 

Mansk leaned down, needing to touch you as much as you needed to be touched right now. 

He resumed his kisses, peppering them down my skin which made butterflies come to life inside me. I ran my fingers through his hair as he kisses down the valley of my chest. One of his hands came up from resting next to me and he gently massaged my breast, paying attention to my every sigh and hitched breath.

His ears would perk forward at every sound and movement you made and his tail was giving away his own excitement. But he still ignored it, using you as a focal point. 

I squirmed beneath him, craving more. “Mansk…” I breathe out and it encourages him to move on further. 

His hands trace down my sides until they reach the last remaining fabric on my body. Mansk’s fingertips hook underneath the waistband of my shorts and I lift my hips up. He interprets this as a clear indication of consent and pulls them down my legs, making sure my tail doesn’t get tangled in them. 

I was now completely bare in front of him and I heard Mansk sigh. His body relaxed as he stared down at me, admiring every curve and wrinkle on my body. 

“God, you look so beautiful.” he breathes out his compliment but it almost sounds like a curse escaping his lips. As if he was losing himself more every second he used, gazing at you. 

“Mansk, please-” I whine, surprising myself by raising one of my legs and opening them for him. 

He was speechless. Previously he had stated that he loved your shy side. But you showing yourself to him like that was the hottest thing he has ever seen and Mansk was officially pussy drunk. 

“Fuck.” he breathed out, moving further down the bed so he could properly look at you. His hands slide up my thighs and he gently parts them even further, being completely hypnotised by you. Your scent was the strongest it has ever been and he could now properly see how wet you were. Wet was an understatement at this point. You were wet when you woke up. Now you were dripping. 

The slick had covered your entire pussy and had already spread down the insides of your thighs a little. 

Mansk’s lips were parted and his mouth was salivating a lot at the sight gracing his eyes. He watches how your core was faintly pulsing, clenching around nothing and that’s when he finally understood how badly you needed his help. 

“What were you expectin’? Comin’ in here all worked up like this, huh?” he asked me, grinning as he lowered himself down on the mattress. I didn’t know how to answer and once I felt his breath fanning against my core, I couldn’t think straight. Mansk smirked before he wrapped an arm around my thigh. His fingers of his other hand gathered up the slick that drizzled down my thigh and he rubbed it back on my folds, finally touching me. 

I inhale sharply, letting my eyes flutter closed as I feel his fingers on me. He glides them through my folds before wrapping that arm around my other thigh. A few seconds, nothing happens and I go to lift my head but then I feel his hot tongue lick a long stripe from my aching hole to my clit and I let it drop back into the pillows, moaning. 

“Oh my god-” I breathe out and it sounds like music to Mansk. All self-control is now out of the window and Mansk just dives in between my legs with an open mouth. His tongue is licking every part of me it can access while he keeps his lips pressed against me. 

I cry out, resting one of my hands on his head while I bite down on my fist. I don’t want to be too loud in case someone is walking past the door. 

Mansk continues eating me out, flicking his tongue wildly, mixing his saliva with my slick. I’m already trembling and then he traces my entrance with it, lapping up any wetness he can still get before he pulls away and inserts a finger into me. I tense around it, finally feeling some sense of relief. 

He doesn’t stop and starts thrusting his long digit in and out of me before adding a second one. I’m arching my back off the bed while Mansk is intrigued with how the slick has coated his fingers already.

I’m so sensitive, especially to his touch that it doesn’t take long until I feel my orgasm approaching. 

“Mansk-” I choke out, gasping for breath. “I’m so close.” I whimper. He purrs happily against me, wanting me to cum all over his fingers.

The intense vibrations his body elicits, sending them through him from his lips make me lose my mind. His lips wrap around my clit and he’s licking and sucking it while thrusting his fingers into me at a faster pace. 

I almost scream his name and within seconds I’m cumming. My legs shake and my thighs clench around his head which he loves. He digs the fingertips of his free hand into the flesh of my thighs, relishing in the feeling of me holding him in place. I’m a moaning mess, gripping the sheets around me for dear life as I clench around his fingers. 

Mansk helps me ride out my orgasm, not letting his pace or movements falter for even a split second. 

Finally, my body slumps back down against the mattress and Mansk slowly stills his movements, cleaning me up with his tongue one last time before pulling away and smirking up at me. His lips were glossy from me and his tongue darted out, licking them clean too. 

“How’d that feel?” he asked, knowing it was good. Mansk just needed your reassurance. 

“Holy shit-” I say, breathing heavily while my chest is heaving like crazy.  “So good.”

His smirk turns into a devilish grin as he crawls back over me and places a soft kiss on my cheek. 

“You feel better?” he asked, wondering whether that solved it. But it didn’t. As the scientist said, only mating would make it go away. 

“A little bit.” I answer, leaning up against my elbows so I can look at him better. Mansk pulls away, sitting back on his knees. 

“It still hurt?” he asked me with curiosity. I saw how strained his pants were and I knew that that was the solution and answer to it all. 

“Mansk I need you.” I whisper, sitting up to be on the same level as him. My words surprise him.

He wasn’t sure whether it was okay for him to be intimate with you feeling like this. He didn’t want to take advantage of you. 

“You sure you wanna go all the way?” he asked me as if it wasn’t what I’d been needing this whole time. 

“Yes.” I answer, giving him a pleading look. “Please…” I add when I notice he isn’t entirely convinced. 

Mansk would love to do that more than anything but you meant so much to him he would never forgive himself if he hurt you or had you do something you would regret later. Luckily, the begging did it for him and he complied. 

“You want my dick?” he asked, the worry clearly fading as an amused smile painted his face again. 

“So much.” I reply while leaning back down. He’s hovering over me again, scanning my features. 

Seeing you all desperate for him makes his dick twitch in his pants. He nods, pushing himself up and undoing his belt with one hand. Something about that was really attractive and I watched with wide eyes. 

His eyes are fixed on my face and his confidence is fueled by the way I’m watching him strip. Mansk notices the goosebumps rising on my skin and he softly chuckles, dropping his head before finally pushing his pants down and kicking them away

I gulp. Wow. I was not expecting it to be so fucking… big. 

He looked painfully hard. I mean, his dick slapped up against his belly button when he took his pants off and it was still standing. I saw the veins on the underside of his length, making it pulse with how they were pumping blood through him. There was not a single thing I would change about Mansk.

“Don’t worry baby, you’re gonna get it all.” he cooed, his voice sounding a little raspy and much deeper. 

He climbed back over me, his arms resting on either side of my head almost caging me in. 

“Thank you.” I whispered. I no longer thought about anything I said, it just came out and it made Mansk laugh. He knew my mind was clouded with lust so he didn’t tease me about it but it amused him. 

His hips lowered down and pressed up against mine. I instinctively opened my legs and he then stroked my inner thigh.

I wrapped my hands around his neck and my fingertips found his braid. If we were going to do this we needed to do it properly. I gently wrap my hand around it, making Mansk stop his movements as I pull it over his shoulder and between us. 

His wide eyes lock with mine and then I pull my own braid forwards. 

“You really want to?” he asked, letting me take care of it to make sure I was really up for this.

“Mansk I need this.” I whisper and I watch how his pupils dilate, making his eyes go darker again. “Is it okay?” I ask him, not wanting to rush him into anything. 

“More than okay, sweetheart. “ he grinned, nibbling on the skin of my neck again, but this time on the other side. “ ‘Means no one else will get te’ see you like this.” Mansk purred, loving the idea that he wouldn’t have to worry about the others making moves on you anymore. You would be permanently marked as his and no one else could stand a chance. 

I smile, pinching the base of my braid and revealing my cord. I do the same with his and slowly bring them together. We form tsaheylu and get used to the feeling of being connected by spending a few minutes just breathing. When we open our eyes and our gazes meet, a lot has changed. Mansk could now feel how much I craved him and the lust in both of us grew. 

I spread my legs further, letting him press himself against me and gently grind into me. Our breathing is heavy, light panting filling the room as he pulls his hips away, lining them up so that his tip is pressing up against my entrance.

He looks at me one last time and I nod before he finally starts pushing into me. Pleasure fills us both but he doesn’t stop until he’s bottomed out. His abdomen presses against me and he can’t go any further. 

I gasp, biting down on my lower lip as he stretches me open. It doesn’t hurt, it just takes some getting used to. 

I sigh, relaxing after finally feeling full. Mansk is fighting himself to not move too much but the way you’re so tightly squeezing him is making that a very difficult task for the recom. 

“Move, please.” I whisper and relief floods him when he gets the green light. He slowly pulls out and then pushes back in, a little faster and easier this time. The warmth of my pussy and my wetness have already covered his entire length and Mansk is in heaven. 

“Fuck, you feel so good.” he growls the next time he pushes in. I whimper, wrapping a leg around his waist to encourage him to go faster. He does. His hips thrust up into me, bottoming out once again and I moan. The noise makes him open his eyes and he keeps the same pace. His hand wraps around the thigh resting on him, holding it close to his body while his hips start rutting into me harder every time.

“Mansk-” I whine. “Don’t stop…” 

He growls in response. Our ears are flattened back against our heads and he’s baring his fangs with every pant. Mansk’s eyebrows are knitted together in pleasure and his lower lip is bruised with how hard he’s been biting down on it. 

“You’re takin’ me so well baby.” he breathily says, dropping his head down close to me. I live off of his praise and he knows that by the way I clench around him. It has him feeling ecstatic so he continues. 

“Bein’ so good f’ere me.” he growls and I whimper, holding onto his shoulder as I feel the pressure build up in my lower abdomen again. 

“I’m gon’ fill you up real good, okay?” Mansk says, looking at me for permission and I nod, digging my nails into his back. 

Normally I’d never cum from just penetration but now I can feel his pleasure too and my high is so close once again. 

“Let go, baby.” he whispers into my ear, pressing his cheek against mine while he feels how close my orgasm is. 

My body shakes and with the next few thrusts, I’m cumming again. My eyes roll to the back of my head and I could swear I see stars for a second. My legs clamp around his waist and the feeling makes Mansk lose it. His hips stutter as he plunges into me as deep as possible, riding out our orgasm while he pumps me full of his cum. I feel so full and I wish more than anything in the world that this high would last longer. 

Both of us calm down a little, gathering our breath and our senses while Mansk stays tucked away deep inside me. I can feel him throbbing inside me and my limp legs fall from his waist. 

Mansk inhales deeply before gently lowering himself down onto my body. I wrap my arms around him while he nuzzles his face into the crook of my neck and we calm down in each other’s presence. 

“You feel better now?” Mansk asks and I chuckle. 

“Much better.” I whisper, raking my fingers through the short hair on his head again. 

“Thank you.” I say and he lifts his head and smiles at me. 

“Hate to do this to you, but the Colonel expects to see you today. We have work to do.” Mansk says and I groan, rubbing my eyes. 

“Right. I forgot.” I mumble as Mansk gently pulls out. Our cords have automatically disconnected now and he slowly got up, handing me my clothes. 

“Forgot that too?” he joked and I smirked. 

“I swear it wasn’t my fault. Z-Dog has them.” I protest, sitting up and getting dressed. 

“Oh yeah?”

“Yeah!”

“Wanna make this a bet?” he asks with a smirk. 

“Sure.” I reply confidently, making him smile more.

“I win, you give me head. You win, I give it to you again.” he says, leaning against the wall with his pants already on and giving me a devilish look. 

“Fine, have fun redoing your part.” I say and he chuckles and nods while we both finish getting dressed and I walk to his door.

“You know this is a win-win situation for me, right?” Mansk grins with his arms folded in front of him and I stop to look at him. 

“Same goes here, I’ll see you tonight then.” I say, flashing him a grin as we leave his room. 

Mansk watches out for me the rest of the day, almost never leaving my side. I find Z-Dog but she pretends like she has no idea what happened to my meds. But I know she took them and I was going to prove it.

Tag List: @drinking-tea-and-be-obsessed @ikranwings @number1gal

[explosionshark]

If you're still interested in doing the AU concepts thing I would love to give you an opportunity to talk and to hear more about s7 hot janitor!Faith

The biggest weakness of s7 au is that I don't actually want to deal with the plot of s7 at all, I just think working class ex con Faith would be really hot and it would be cool if she and Buffy teamed up again. So with the disclaimer that this is strongly vibes over plot

Definitely envisioning a s7 that's more aligned with what "Lessons" set up: Hellmouth shenanigans at Sunnydale High, but this time Buffy is approaching things from the perspective of a counselor instead of a student. More lower stakes MotW style events. Some kind of Hellmouth centric big bad - maybe an evil PTA or something. Who gives a shit.

S7 feels like a good time for Faith to re-enter the scene anyway. Not that everyone's over what she did, but SO many monumental shifts have happened, I think she'd be an easier pill to swallow at this point. Anyway I like the one in/one out rule for redemption arc baddies. A Spikeless Scooby Gang feels like it has room for Faith

The 50/50 Sunnydale High split that Counselor Buffy and Janitor Faith are able to work out is pretty efficient. Being closer to students and faculty means Buffy can keep an eye on rumors and look out for trouble that way, while Faith literally has the keys to the building and license to be pretty much anywhere at any time. I also like the idea that there are certain kids in a particular kind of trouble that would gravitate more to Faith than to Buffy, but that they might be able to work together to help those kids anyway

The high school rumor mill around Buffy and Faith would be insane btw. Dawn would get so sick of people asking her what their deal is. But Buffy and Faith are always whispering to each other off in some corner! They arrive at school together sometimes! They're always staring at each other! SOMETHING IS GOING ON

Dawn would definitely struggle at first with accepting Faith, I think she'd be very committed to resenting her on principle, but the key to Faith's relationships in this au is not winning people over by charming them, but simply by being there, doing what she said she would do regardless of how other people treat her. She is trying very VERY hard to take the lessons of prison and the Angel Brain Walk to heart. But much like in actual s7, the key difference in dynamic between Dawn and Faith vs Dawn and the rest of the Scoobies is that Faith doesn't treat her like a little sister. She doesn't try to tell Dawn what to do or how to be, but I think she'd look out for her in her own way - noticing when a store clerk clocks Dawn shoplifting and subtly stepping in to make sure Dawn puts everything back before she leaves the store so she can't get in trouble, covering for Dawn when she wants to sneak out, stuff like that.

@jewishsuperfam and I have talked about an s7 AU a bunch before, tagging her to jump in and embellish this if she wants to

[alisonfelixwrites]

Informed consent: chapter 3

Word count: 14,180

Mia found herself hunched over her desk early morning on Friday. After her first tutoring session the previous day, she was set on making the best out of neuropsychology and she was revising last week’s lesson in order to be able to catch up today.

A soft knock on the door broke her out of her thoughts and she turned around, taking her glasses off of the bridge of her nose, “Come in.”

She knew it was going to be Hazel, so the sight of her friend in her night robe and her hair all messy didn’t exactly surprise her. Hazel pushed open the door softly, her hands full with a cup of coffee and a plate filled with fruit and toast. Mia’s heart about grew twice its size when she gasped, “Oh my god, Hazel!”

“Shh, not too loud, it’s early.” Hazel croaked as she padded over to Mia’s desk to put everything down. Mia stared widely at the food and coffee on the table, on top of some of her books and notes and she pressed her hand to her chest, “This is so nice, thank you so much.”

“Ah,” Hazel waved it away, “don’t worry about it. You’ve been having a tough week.” She leaned over Mia to look at her notes, scrunching up her nose, “Neuropsychology again?”

“Yeah.” Mia nodded, taking the clip out of her messy hair before she was about to braid it later for class, “I’m trying to be up to date for class today.”

Hazel nodded, “Hmm. What time will you be home tonight? Do you want to go out maybe?”

“Oh.” Mia immediately felt herself blushing a little bit, wondering if she’d have to come up with an excuse as to why she’d rather stay home. She awkwardly scratched behind her neck, “I-I don’t know.”

Hazel softly smiled, “You don’t have to. ‘S just a suggestion. Once again, I’d think you’d really like my friends. And actually… I was thinking of inviting them over here tonight for pre-drinks.”

“Here?” Mia asked with raised brows, “Oh my god, I haven’t cleaned all week, you can’t invite people over to a house this messy.”

Hazel chuckled, “Mia, we’re uni students. It’s pretty normal to be living in a mess and I’m sure our apartment’s still cleaner than all of theirs combined.”

“Still…” Mia found herself immediately nervous about the prospect of people in her home. It took a while for the apartment to feel like home, and she had to give the most credit to Hazel for making her comfortable here. Her chaotic, homely clutter just warmed up the entire apartment.

But having strangers over was one hurdle Mia felt anxious about, and them being in her personal space was another. She couldn’t just leave if she felt like it was too much, she’d have to wait it out. Also, she couldn’t hide in her room and there was nowhere to go. The library closed at eight and she was sure pre-drinks didn’t end before that hour.

“Look, we can go to a bar if it makes you more comfortable. It’s only like four people but Cass and Lynn are fighting with their third roommate and she kind of kicked them out of the apartment – which is crazy – and Renan lives in a shoebox and has only two chairs.” Hazel chuckled.

Mia’s lips slightly curled up at the words Hazel chose and she nibbled her lip in thought, “I-I guess. I don’t want to kick you out of your own apartment, you have a say in here too. I-I’ll try to be social but it’s really hard for me.” She spoke in a small voice before tapping her fingers on her forehead, “I might have some medicine left for my anxiety.”

“What?” Hazel frowned immediately, “Mia, no, no, no. I don’t want you to have to take pills in order to feel comfortable. Look, just think about it today and you can let me know around four, good? See how you feel about it during the day.”

Mia felt a headache coming up just at the thought of tonight, but forced a smile and nodded, “I will. Thanks again for the food, Hazel. It’s really nice of you to do that.”

“You do it for me all the time, Mia.” Her friend laughed in return, eyes briefly glancing at Mia's phone when it buzzed on the desk with a message. Hazel didn’t mean to, but she saw the name coming up on the screen and instantly frowned, “H. Sinclair?”

Mia quickly reached for her phone, opening it up to see the message from Harry as Hazel stared at her with wide eyes, “As in Harry Sinclair?”

“Yes. He’s one of my therapy students.” Mia explained, frowning a little at her screen when she saw that Harry sent her a reminder for today’s session.

Message to: H. Sinclair

Thank you for the reminder, I hadn’t forgotten :)

She locked her phone and put it back down before carefully glancing up at Hazel, “You know him?”

Hazel’s shocked expression gave it all away and she huffed out again, “Yeah, of course. He’s in some of my classes. Oh fuck, the broken bookcase, of course!” She spoke more to herself as if it suddenly all made sense.

“Hazel.” Mia scolded slightly, “It’s too early for cursing.”

Hazel put her hands on her hips and looked at Mia, “Wait, don’t tell me he’s the dickhead who made you cry this week.”

“Oh.” Mia chuckled softly, “He was, yeah. B-But I saw him yesterday during lunch and we actually redid Tuesday’s session and he was polite. Do you know him well?”

Hazel shrugged, “No, not at all. I’ve never spoken to him. He’s always late and sits in the back.. He always hangs out with the second years and does most classes with them too so I don’t see him that often, to be honest.”

Mia’s attention was back on her phone when it buzzed again.

Message from: H. Sinclair

Just checking :). Good morning, by the way. Also, I named you Dr. Phil in my phone.

Mia burst out into a cackle at that, quickly shutting up when she realised how ridiculous it sounded and she bit her lip before putting her phone down again. Hazel had her brow up as she stared at her, “Something funny?”

“H-He just, uh – “ Mia stuttered with a flush to her cheeks, “he said something funny, yes.”

“Mia.” Hazel narrowed her eyes and Mia blushed harder before sighing out with slumped shoulders, “He’s so beautiful!”

“Oh my god!” Hazel exclaimed with a wide grin, “You have a crush on him!”

Mia blushed even deeper and hastily took a sip of scorching hot coffee in an attempt to hide her face, “I do not.” She spoke with a wince, her tongue burned on the coffee but it was worth it as she just wanted to hide away from Hazel’s curious eyes, “Yes, you do! How cute! I mean, I have to admit he’s hot. I didn’t think he’d be your type though. Who was the guy you’re practically married to already?”

“Daniel? Oh, yeah, he’s completely different.” Mia shrugged, her stomach dropping a little when she remembered the deal her parents had made at a young age for her to marry Daniel. 

Hazel sat down on the edge of Mia’s bed, “So what actually happens when you get a boyfriend and don’t want to date that Daniel guy anymore?”

Mia puckered her lips in thought, “I suppose I’ve never really thought of that. Why are you assuming I’d have a boyfriend? You’re not talking about Harry, right?”

“Who knows.” She smirked and Mia blushed deeper before shaking her head, “No, you’re right. I’m not his type.”

Hazel tilted her head to the side, “I never said that, I said I didn’t think he was your type.”

“I don’t know what my type is.” Mia shrugged and Hazel exhaled a laugh, “Right, but I just wouldn’t have assumed a guy with tattoos all over his body would do it for you.”

“All over his body?” Mia gasped and Hazel threw her head back in a laugh, “Oh my god, fun! We can finally talk about our crushes together!”

Mia huffed humorlessly, “Nothing to talk about. He’s just a client and we’re doing eight sessions.”

“…and you’re texting.”

“We’re not! Some of them have my number in case they need to reschedule.” Mia defended and Hazel smiled suspiciously, “Some of them? How many?”

Mia blushed deeper and Hazel smiled wider until Mia rolled her eyes, “Fine, just him. He asked, said he hardly checks his emails!”

“That’s such bullshit!” Hazel laughed, “He just wanted your number, Mia!” She snatched Mia’s phone from the table and smiled at the screen, “He texted you good morning. That’s not just about rescheduling.”

“Give me that.” Mia mumbled, grabbing her phone again before shaking her head, “It’s nothing, I swear.”

“Alright.” Hazel grinned, 

Mia finished revising for neuropsychology while enjoying the breakfast that Hazel had brought her. Her eyes scanned her notes, brain fresh and awake this early in the morning. She was always more productive in the mornings, Mia had noticed, so she usually used that time to study or get stuff done for school before her fatigue or anxiety kicked in and the letters floated together.

Dressed in winter attire, she exited the apartment about an hour later. Hazel said goodbye to her from the couch, deciding to skip out on her classes today and lounge around the apartment. Mia almost felt anxious in her place, skipping a class sounded horrifying to her. She knew teachers didn’t really mind and it was the student’s own responsibility to make sure they were up to date with everything and met their deadlines, but still… Mia could never be that chill.

She nearly slipped on some ice when her phone buzzed on the way, and she pulled it out to reveal another message from Harry even if she never answered the previous one.

Message from: H. Sinclair

Interesting classes today?

Mia bit her lip, wondering if he truly did ask for her number for the schedule or if he maybe… liked her a little bit? The idea on its own was stupid. Someone like him could never like someone like her. He was so free-spirited and bold and blunt, while she was so shy and timid and hardly dared looking him in the eye. He was two years older than her too, which felt like a decade away in how mature they were.

But then again, why would he ask her such a silly, non-important question at such a random time in the day? She nibbled her lip and typed back.

Message to: H. Sinclair

It’s alright. One now and then two this afternoon. How about you?

She hesitated before typing the last bit, opening up the conversation. She had never really texted with a boy, no one had ever asked her for her number. Mia felt like if she went through her contact list, the information there was pretty sparse on itself, let alone any information on boys. 

But if that had been Harry’s intention, he had been smooth about it. Mia had no idea he intended to ask her for her number.

A few buildings away, Harry was seated in class in the back row with a huge thermos of coffee in front of him. Even that couldn’t help him staying awake on a Friday morning. What could help him stay awake, was receiving a message from Mia.

Harry wasn’t sure what it was, why she was interesting to him. She was pretty, for sure, but she was someone who flew under the radar and who he’d have never noticed in any other occasion besides the forced therapy the school made him do.

He still felt bad about snapping at her during that first session. He had seen it in her eyes that it had hurt her and had taken her aback, but he was too caught up in his frustration and rage at that point to really care. It only sunk in when he saw her a few days later, sitting on her own at the trash table and nibbling on some carrots.

She was jumpy and shy and blushy, which Harry just found completely endearing. He had to admit that he liked talking to her about school, about psychology and philosophy, about their different views. They were nice discussions. Until she started about the reason he had to get therapy in the first place, his public slip-up in the library.

Harry still didn’t understand why he was being punished for something like that. Everyone in school had sex in the public areas, he was just the one being caught. And not even them together, just him. Lexie had gotten away before the guard caught them and he wasn’t about to rat her out, but it did mean that the entire 4K fine the school made him pay, was on his shoulders.

He had told her about it, and not once had she suggested paying for half of it. That he could do, pay the two thousand dollars to get the school off his back, but four thousand was too much. His parents would know and that’d be a whole other thing. They were nice and open-minded, but perhaps this was pushing it.

He had dreaded the therapy sessions but somehow hoped he’d end up with some cool, open-minded therapist who would let him off the hook and they’d use the time to just chat about random stuff. Instead, he had been sitting in that office waiting for her and he saw a timid young girl with her hands full and her eyes bulging while staring at him.

Mia honestly looked like she could be blown away with a little puff of air coming from Harry’s mouth.

The second time seeing her, he felt for her. She was clearly overworked and he remembered his own early university days where he struggled to keep up with it all. He didn’t think she did the therapy sessions for extra credit, he just assumed she was some rich girl who had time to spare and decided to volunteer so she could judge about other’s mistakes.

He couldn’t have been more wrong.

And now he found himself at a point where he even…. maybe…. Looked forward a little bit to seeing her.

Message to: Dr. Phil

I’m in class right now and then I’m headed home again until the therapy session. What time again?

Message from: Dr. Phil

You’re the first one on the schedule :) So four if that’s alright. That way you have most of your evening still, it’s Friday night after all.

Harry huffed out a chuckle and cleared his throat, trying to mask his laughter from the professor up front who raised a brow at him before continuing. He was in a class that he had taken last year already and even if he had failed it – twice – he felt like he almost knew it by heart and this was a complete waste of time.

Message to: Dr. Phil

That’s considerate, thank you :). And it is a Friday indeed, any plans tonight?

His leg bobbed nervously as he waited for her response, which took a little while. He assumed she had still been walking to campus, which also meant she didn’t live in the student housing on campus. Unlike him.

Message from: Dr. Phil

Not really. I think my roommate is going to invite some people. You?

Message to: Dr. Phil

I usually go out on a Friday sooo…

Harry didn’t know why he typed that and he groaned under his breath and rolled his eyes at himself, staring at the sent message. It could mean a lot of things and he wasn’t sure how Mia was going to take it.

I usually go out on a Friday sooo… I’ll end up in someone’s bed tonight.

I usually go out on a Friday sooo… it’s the same this week and I’m going to get blind drunk with my idiot roommates.

I usually go out on a Friday sooo… if you’d like to join?

He locked his phone and put it down, not feeling better about himself when Mia didn’t answer for at least an hour. Deep down he knew she was in class and that she had to be paying attention. She didn’t seem like the type to be on her phone during class, but still – she left him hanging after sending such a stupid text.

Stupid enough that he did something even more stupid, which was sending another one an hour later after lack of response.

Message to: Dr. Phil

Sorry, that sounded weird. I meant that I’m also going out tonight, as I do most Fridays.

Harry dropped his head on the table momentarily, wanting to pull his own brains out until the teacher scolded him again and gave him a warning. He pressed his lips together and placed his phone upside down, trying to pay attention and actually take notes.

The efforts Mia put in for school were very different from Harry, but he had to admit it was inspiring. 

All was forgotten though when his phone buzzed.

Message from: Dr. Phil

Hahah, yes, that’s what I assumed!! Sounds fun. Sorry I didn’t respond, neuropsychology is no joke.

He grinned at the message, his heart lighter than before and the nerves in his tummy had settled down. 

It was hours later – hours that Harry had spent playing video games with his roommates instead of doing school work – that he went back into campus to meet up with Mia. His mates had nagged him for it a little as they wanted to get their Friday drink in early – as early as one in the afternoon.

Harry declined every beverage pushed his way, claiming he had responsibilities at four and that he’d join them afterwards. They asked him to skip the session, but he had said no.

So he was braving the cold winter weather while walking up to the psychology building, the North building, where he took the stairs up to the fourth floor. His teeth were chattering slightly from the biting November cold which wasn’t being very kind on England this year.

“Hi,” He spoke to the woman who sat at reception there, “I have a meeting with Mia?”

She narrowed her eyes at her computer screen and clicked a few times, “Right, she rescheduled some sessions. She’s in room number two.”

Harry raised his brows, “She’s already here? I thought I was early.”

“Mia’s always early.” The woman chuckled simply yet Harry hardly heard her, a skip in his step as he made his way to room number two, near bursting through the door just to see Mia.

She looked over her shoulder when the door opened, seeing Harry entering with his thick winter coat on as she had just shrugged hers off. 

Harry could already tell she had a guilty look on her face from sending him walking through this weather for a rescheduled session, but he offered her a smile to ease her nerves, “Hey.”

“Hi.” She breathed as he unzipped his coat. Mia shifted on her seat, “I’m sorry that you had to come all the way here through this rain.” She apologised for something she had no control over and Harry hung up his coat besides hers, “No problem. I live on campus in the student housing so ‘m not far.”

“Oh.” She nodded, following his silhouette as he moved through the room to sit down on the other couch opposite her. He immediately looked more relaxed than earlier this week, when he avoided her stare and constantly poked his fingers into the rip of the seat. Whereas now, his eyes were curiously on her and on her only.

Mia fiddled with her fingers and reached for her cup of tea, “Do you want some tea? To warm up?”

Harry rubbed his hands together and nodded, “Actually, yeah. Sounds good. Is there a vending machine in this building?”

“Yeah, but it’s okay.” Mia smiled, getting up to reach one of the cupboards that lined the side of the little room, opening it up to pull out a mug, “This used to be a kitchen on this floor. And I’ve got a thermos and some tea bags.”

Harry huffed out a chuckle, “You just carry that around in your bag?”

Mia blushed a little as she sat back down and put the mug down on the table between them before reaching for her thermos, “I do. The tea here doesn’t taste that good, I prefer to bring my own.” She kept her eyes on the movement of her hand as she carefully poured the hot water into the mug with her lip between her teeth.

Harry used the opportunity to scan her, noticing the same braid in her hair as the other two times he had seen her. She wore a dark green knitted jumper with some flowers embroidered on it, a little oversized on her but it looked cosy. The black flares on her legs made her look taller, as did the blocked heel on the boots she wore. 

“Here you go.” She smiled shyly when putting the teabag in his mug. Harry shot her a toothy grin, “Thank you.”

His lips twitched up into a wider smile when he saw her pulling out his old notebook and the pink pen. He had completely forgotten to get it back yesterday when their session ended rather abruptly when they had to get to their next class all of a sudden, but he didn’t mind. He didn’t use the notebook much anymore and they were mostly his old notes. 

“I meant to give this back.” Mia started as if reading his mind. She had felt terrible about taking his personal belongings home with her, uncertain if Harry would get angry at her or not for doing so. She had carefully placed the notebook and the pen on her bedside table to make sure nothing happened to it, and that she could give it back today.

Harry waved it away and shook his head, “Keep it. I don’t use it anymore and I think it’s a handy little thing for you to keep around and… write in.”

Mia tilted her head to the side, “Write in?”

“Yeah.” Harry cleared his throat and scratched the back of his neck, “Y’know, random thoughts. Or just notes for school, whatever.”

She practically bounced in her chair from beaming so much before she nodded, “Okay. Thank you so much, Harry.”

He nodded back with a smile and Mia got more comfortable on the chair, going as far as tucking her leg underneath her. A clear sign of her comfort here, Harry noticed. She would’ve never done that during their first session. She tucked an invisible strand of hair behind her ear out of habit and nibbled her lip, “So, how did you feel after yesterday’s session?”

Mia meant it professionally, asking him how he had experienced going to therapy for the first time even if it was mandated and with another student. But she meant how he felt about talking about the topic of him having sex in the library. His mind, though, went somewhere completely else.

Because after yesterday’s session, he felt confused. Confused, frustrated, annoyed. All with himself. Confused because of how he couldn’t get her out of his mind even for a second, how she occupied every little bit of his brain for at least twenty-four hours now. Frustrated and annoyed because he wanted to hold her hand, he wanted to hold her entirely and he wanted to kiss her. Actually, he wanted to do many, many more unspeakable things to her that he was certain Mia’s mind was much too pure for.

That was the vibe she gave off, purity. Like something that had never been broken or even scratched before. She was fragile but protected. She didn’t seem like she had ever felt a little nudge before in her life to bring her out of balance. 

“Good. Fine.” He settled on answering and she nodded, “Okay, that’s good. So today, I’d like to go more in depth about what happened prior to…” She uncomfortably cleared her throat, “having intercourse in the library. Like what led up to it.” Mia explained.

Harry nodded and she continued, “Then for the next session, I’d like to take you to the actual library.”

His brows shot up, “To the library? Like some sort of exposure therapy?”

“Exactly.” Mia nodded, “I get the feeling you’re still rather closed off about the entire topic, so it might be helpful.” She offered. Harry sighed out and shrugged, “Yeah, okay. If that’s what you think we should do.”

Mia felt relieved at Harry’s quick giving into her idea. She had never done it before, taking a student out of this environment to head to the place where their incident happened that caused them to end up in therapy. But Harry wasn’t all that talkative and chatty, so she had to change directions here and branch out.

“But I have a proposition too.” Harry interrupted her thought process and held up his finger as Mia looked at him, “You do?” She asked unsurely. He smiled softly and nodded, “I do. Whenever I’m bored I get to ask you a question.”

Mia frowned, “A question?”

“Mhm.” Harry nodded, “I get to ask you a question and we talk about that for a bit. Y’know, to break my thoughts and change it up a little bit. I won’t hold out for eight sessions talking about my sex life.”

Mia blushed a little at his blunt words and slowly nodded, “Okay.” She hadn’t assumed Harry to immediately want to ask his questions. She imagined it was just something he said now, but by the time they were deep in conversation about his reason for being here, he’d forget about it and never actually ask her a question.

But Mia thought wrong. By the glint in Harry’s eyes, she could already tell it was going to be a mischievous question. He tapped his ringed fingers together, dressed in another black large jumper that swallowed him whole but also made him look very cuddly – she had a hard time focussing on his words as she just wanted him to sit still so she could stare at him. His hands or his lips specifically.

Mia prepared herself for a question she’d have to decline. It’d be something about her dating life, or her – non-existent – sexual escapades. She’d have to turn down his question and Harry would get angry and storm out again and they’d be back to square one.

“What’s your earliest memory?” Harry questioned, leaning his elbow on the arm of the chair as he got comfortable. His free hand reached for his tea and he blew a little bit of air into the hot liquid before taking a careful sip.

Mia leaned back into the chair and puckered her lips, “My earliest memory… I mean – I suppose…” She started, racking her brain and nibbling her lip – also subconsciously bringing Harry’s pink sparkly pen to her mouth to push against her bottom lip in thought, “I think when I was about five, my mother started teaching me French.”

Harry frowned at Mia’s answer, “Your earliest memory is of you learning something?”

“Yes.” She timidly answered, “Is that wrong?”

Harry took a breath and shook his head, “No, no, it’s not wrong. There’s no right or wrong answer for this question, I think.”

Mia hesitated for a moment before drawing a breath, “So what’s yours?”

“My first memory?”

“Mhm.” She nodded and Harry brought both hands behind his neck in a stretch, sighing out while leaning back and staring at the ceiling. Mia nearly didn’t care about his answer anymore. All she could focus on were his bulging biceps, the way his jumper rid up slightly with the raise of his arms and how she inappropriately glanced down to see a thin strip of pale skin showing up above the waistband of his boxers.

Hazel had been right, Harry seemingly was covered in tattoos and Mia had only seen scraps of him. She almost began hoping she put on the heating in the room too hot so he’d have to take that jumper off and she could take a look at his arms.

“Hello? Earth to Mia?” Harry snapped her out her thoughts and Mia parted her lips to apologise, a deep flush rising up her neck but Harry chuckled, “Y’really need to work on that, love. Dr. Phil never zones out like that.” He teased.

She chuckled softly under her breath and nibbled her lip, “Sorry, I was lost in thought. W-What did you say?”

There was a grin on Harry’s lips, lopsided, toothy, showing off a dimple and Mia swooned like no one else. There was a tinge of smugness in the smile too, as if he knew very well what he was doing. And Harry did know what he was doing. Not that he did it on purpose, he was just being himself, but he caught Mia staring at him without blinking every few minutes. She zoned out, entranced by him and taking in every little detail and inch of skin he gave her.

She looked like a lost puppy and Harry wanted to moan at her innocent, round eyes, slightly parted pink lips and lightly flushed cheeks. She was just so cute.

“I said my earliest memory is probably of me and my dad playing catch in the yard.” He repeated for Mia and she offered him a small smile while nodding, “That’s nice.”

“Yeah.” Harry breathed with a nod, “It is.”

They were left in a little bit of silence before Mia drew a breath, “So back to our original topic…”

Harry refrained from rolling his eyes at the deep dive into his personal life once more, somehow hoping he had distracted Mia enough to carry on a normal conversation instead of it being all about him, but he wasn’t that lucky. 

“You mentioned you live on campus with roommates?” Mia asked. Harry nodded, “Yeah, I live in the student housing with two roommates. We each have our own small rooms and then a shared living space, kitchen and bathroom. Across the hall are two more of my friends. Well, I met them due to being paired up here in student housing. I didn’t know any of them before coming here.” Harry explained.

Mia wrote some things down in Harry’s notebook and nodded, “Can you tell me their names? Might be easier.”

“Sure.” He shrugged, “I live with Liam and Niall. Louis and Zayn are across the hall.”

“That sounds like fun, having your friends so close by.”

Harry chuckled, “Yeah, it’s alright. It can get a bit busy sometimes and it gets hard to say no to certain things. Our rooms are really tiny so I don’t spend much time there except for sleeping and sometimes studying, but I can hardly fit my legs under the desk so I try to do that at the kitchen table when they’re in class.”

Mia frowned a little, realising how hard it had to be to not really have a space for yourself. Her apartment was shared, but her room was of a decent size and she had never felt smothered in those four walls. She scribbled down some more stuff, “Have you ever tried going to the library to study? I do it all the time, I kind of have my set seat there that I know I like. It gets just enough light but the sun is never in my eyes, and I have a distant view of campus which means I’m not too distracted but there’s some movement around. It’s not close to the toilets so not too many people have to pass me by the entire time.” She listed in a ramble, thinking of her favourite place on campus. The library calmed her down so much.

Harry raised his brows and huffed out a snicker, “Right. I use the library for other activities.” He decided to make fun of himself and Mia stared at him in shock as she turned bright red again, “Oh my god, I-I’m sorry! I hadn’t even… oh.” She palmed her forehead, realising her mistake while Harry threw his head back in a laugh, shaking his head, “It’s okay.”

Mia tried to come to terms with her embarrassment, taking a few more sips of tea while Harry did the same. She noticed that the moment he finished his cup, his hand blindly reached into his bag and he pulled out that same packet of gum. Popping one out, he flicked his eyes up to her, “Gum?”

“No, thank you.” Mia exhaled, mentally preparing herself to be met with the view again of Harry chewing on gum as if time worked in slow motion. She had to be strong.

“So, anyway,” She cleared her throat, “that’s kind of what I wanted to get to, I suppose. If you live on campus, why didn’t you just bring the girl to your dorm?”

She could hear the sound of Harry’s jaws crunching the fresh piece of gum and dared lifting her eyes, seeing him staring right at her with a thoughtful look. His gaze was intense and she knew he’d notice if she dropped her eyes just a sliver to stare at the way his jaws moved, so she swallowed and kept staring into his green eyes.

Harry eventually shrugged, putting Mia out of her misery by breaking the eye contact and she felt like she could breathe again. These sessions were tiring for her when the student was so attractive she could hardly focus.

“Well, like I said, these rooms are tiny. I need… space.” He used his hands in a circular motion as if to put more force behind his words, “Space to move, y’know? In the dorms we have a single bed, it’s not easy to manoeuvre. And besides that, there’s not much privacy. I can hear Niall snoring at night, I can hear the bedsprings when Liam rolls over…” He listed.

Mia tried to imagine what that was like and took more notes, bringing Harry’s pen back to her lip without thought as she glanced over the words she wrote down. Harry’s eyes zeroed in on the contact of his pen against her plump pink lip and he exhaled shakily before crossing his legs over one another.

“So is privacy important to you, then?”

Harry tilted his head to the side, “In general?”

Mia paused and took a breath, “O-Or when… you know… doing stuff.”

“Doing stuff?” He feigned confusion, wanting her to say it. Mia took another breath and avoided eye contact, “W-When having… uh – intercourse.”

“Intercourse.” Harry repeated in a hushed huff, shaking his head to himself with a small smile, “When having sex?” He boldly spoke and Mia held her breath when nodding, “Yes.”

Harry couldn’t stop the smirk from growing on his lips, “Mia…” He tutted, not missing the way her shoulders tensed when he murmured her name, “you can say it, you know?”

She frowned a little and shrugged, “I know. Can you please answer the question?”

He smirked wider. He knew it was a dick move, but he suspected she was a virgin ever since meeting her for the first time. Harry didn’t think there was anything wrong with that, she was still eighteen after all. He didn’t have his first time until shortly before his nineteenth birthday either, that wasn’t the point. The point was that she was trying to hide the fact she was a virgin, and it was sort of amusing to him that she had to listen to him talking about having sex in a public library while she had no experience whatsoever.

“I’ll answer when you say it.”

Mia shot him a deadpanned look, “Harry…” She pleaded, and this time it was Harry’s turn to feel his tummy clenching together at the sound of his name falling from her lips. If he closed her eyes, he could imagine her whining it like that in her soft voice while sitting on his lap with her top off. 

This was dangerous, dangerous territory. He didn’t want to make her uncomfortable, there was a thin line between his teasing and her feeling put on the spot, but he was exploring that line right now. He cleared his throat to get the dirty visual out of his brain, but he couldn’t help himself but wonder what she looked like underneath those warm clothes.

“Go on.” He pushed, deciding it was one last time and if she declined right now, he’d leave it at that. He could already see her pressing her lips together, her cheeks reddening and her eyes looking anywhere besides at him. The pen was tightly clenched between her fingers and she shifted on the couch – tucking her other leg underneath her this time – before inhaling a shaky breath, “Fine. When having s-sex.”

His brows raised up, feeling completely impressed with her. Mia tried to look at him sternly, like it wasn’t the first time she had said those words out loud to someone who was basically a stranger. She tried to hold the eye contact, but she was crumpling on the inside. Harry’s face was rather priceless though, Mia felt. She felt a little proud of herself, but also very uncomfortable and in unfamiliar territory.

Harry smiled to himself and hung his head a little lower to hide it, shrugging his shoulders, “I don’t want everyone to see, I still think it’s something shared between you and your partner. Or partners, whatever.” He spoke, “But the idea of getting caught is a little thrilling, I have to admit.”

Mia’s cheeks had turned into a normal colour now that Harry answered her question. She could feel the feeling in her fingertips returning as she nodded, “So that’s why you did it? Because you like the feeling of maybe getting caught?” She guessed.

Harry rolled his head back into the couch with a sigh, “Not entirely. I-I don’t know. Why’s it matter?”

Mia relaxed in the seat again, “I’m not trying to give you advice or anything here.” Mia spoke, referring to what Harry assumed these sessions would be about the first time they met up earlier this week. Harry’s head lifted and he stared at her with guilt behind his green irises, lips twitching down a little, “I know.”

“I guess I’m just trying to understand.” Mia shrugged and Harry sighed, “But why do you have to understand? Isn’t it normal that you don’t always understand why or how other people do something? It’s such a… psychological thing.” He couldn’t help but turn it back towards their difference in education as he shrugged, “Can’t people just do things because they want to and feel like it? Why do you always have to understand, maybe sometimes you just won’t. Ever. And I think that’s okay?” He rambled.

Mia wrote down in the notebook, finding herself in agreement with Harry but it went against what she had to do in these sessions. She drew a breath, “I understand where you’re coming from. Listen, I-I don’t make the rules here, I’m just executing them.” She softly spoke in defeat, hoping Harry understood. 

He looked at her for a few more seconds, because he did understand. And it just sort of clicked for him. He wasn’t looking at a girl who’s biggest dream was to become a therapist. He was looking at a girl who wanted to pass her classes and her exams, and who needed extra credit even if it meant spending time volunteering in a job she wasn’t all that passionate about and was trying to find herself in.

“Okay.” Harry eventually breathed, “But I think I’ve earned the right to ask you another question.”

Mia softly groaned under her breath, feeling discomfort rising in her body at whatever Harry would fire at her. She sighed and shrugged, “I guess.”

He smiled and rubbed his hands together, mindlessly chewing the piece of gum between his teeth as he thought of it and eventually cleared his throat, “Who’s your hero?”

Yet another question Mia had never seen coming, so it took her a moment to even realise his words before she thought about it. They were left in silence, Harry observing her as Mia was lost in thought until she eventually flicked her eyes at him, “Maya Angelou.”

“Wow.” Harry muttered out, nodding to himself and finding himself impressed, “That’s a really good answer. Did you read her book?”

“I know why the caged bird sings?” Mia asked before nodding, “Yes.”

Harry smiled wider, “That’s so cool.”

“Have you read it?” Mia asked and Harry shook his head, “No, but I really want to.”

Mia nibbled her lip, “I have my copy of it at the apartment, I could lend it to you if you want to.”

Harry’s face lit up as he eagerly nodded, “That’d be sick. Yeah.”

“Okay.” She smiled back widely, “I’ll bring it next week. It’s got some folded edges and I think I wrote down stuff in it and highlighted some paragraphs.” She began in the form of an apology but Harry shook his head, “Don’t worry, I like that. I want to know what you felt like reading it.”

Mia blinked a few times in shock at his words, shyly smiling down, “Alright.”

The rest of the session went by quickly, with Mia trying to explore Harry’s relationship with the school. Another reason she could think of why he would do something as provocative as sleeping with someone in the library. She knew Harry had a bit of a rough first year, so maybe he held some sort of grudge against the school, but Harry didn’t give her much of an answer to that and didn’t feel very strongly about the school in general.

He asked her another question in between, and this time it was what her favourite memory was. Mia didn’t have to think long about that one, immediately responding how she took a solo trip with her two best friends over summer. It was the first time she really went somewhere without her parents and she had never felt so free – she didn’t say it to Harry in those words but she did think fondly of those times with her friends.

Two friends, who took the leap and the opportunity to study abroad this year while Mia stayed behind. One was in Australia, the other in New York. Very far away and Mia missed them tremendously, but they kept in touch through facetime and Mia had even received a couple of postcards. 

The pictures she received of Millie lying on a sunny beach in Australia while she was freezing her butt off here, made her jealous to say the least.

Mia wasn’t sure how Harry managed to get her so weak in the knees, but every little movement he did just caught her off guard and she’d need a minute to recompose herself. She wished his session was the last one, so one, he could maybe stay a little longer and they could chat, and two, she could just go home afterwards and faint on her bed.

But no, Harry’s hour was up and she had to see two others after that and stay here until seven before going home to a crowded apartment – which still sent her spiralling. She had given Hazel the green light to invite her friends over, something she already regretted tremendously but it was too late now to back down. Mia pushed herself out of her comfort zone but regretted it instantly and tried to crawl back, but she couldn’t do that to Hazel.

“So – uh, Tuesday at three?” Harry checked as he got up and put on his coat again. Mia stood up too, awkwardly fiddling with the sleeves of her jumper before nodding, “Yes, Tuesday at three.”

Harry opened up the door already to get out but looked over his shoulder, “Have a nice weekend, Mia."

“You t-“

“Harry!” The voice interrupted Mia as she was about to wish Harry a happy weekend, and she watched with a surprised look at the girl rushing up to Harry in the hallway. She had brown hair in a ponytail, cute bangs covering up her forehead and pink cheeks from the cold outside, “There you are!” She smiled widely.

“Oh. Hey.” He mumbled, a little taken aback to see this girl here. He scratched the back of his neck while I stared at her and how beautiful she was, and the knot in my stomach dropped when I took a step back. Was she the girl he had slept with? Or was she his girlfriend? She was very pretty and she just looked… cool. Fun. She looked like his type.

Mia wanted to curl into a ball at the sight or her waiting for him and Harry glanced over his shoulder again, “Bye.”

“Bye.” Mia murmured, receiving a gentle smile from the girl who picked him up before the door closed and they left together. Her stomach was in knots seeing him leave with her. She seemed nice, the girl with the bangs and the outstanding figure and the bubbly personality. It only made Mia shrink further away, wondering how she could ever think Harry would like her.

-----------------

The tightness in her stomach hadn’t left, and it only worsened when she realised she couldn’t just go home and cry to Hazel about whatever stupid thing had happened and then go to bed at an early hour. No, she had to open the door to multiple people being in her home.

Mia had never been a hostess, she had never really had people over. When she met up with her friends, she used to go to their houses. Her parents weren’t all that keen on having people over and disrupting their day-to-day lives. So Mia did the effort and always went over to their place instead.

She had stayed at the library for one more hour to go over her therapy notes, trying to fix all the writing mistakes she made while penning down so rapidly as people spoke to her. As much as she had tried to pay attention to the other two students who came after Harry, her mind was constantly on him.

And the pretty girl he left with.

By now, her stomach was growling and she dragged herself home, completely dreading the moment she’d open the door and be met with strange people and noises. Mia realised she sounded whiny, but the presence of crowds just dragged her down a little. She was definitely someone who gained energy and good vibes from being by herself or having individual contacts.

The moment she pushed her key into the lock of her flat, she plastered a warm smile on her face and opened up the door. Instead of being met with rowdy, partying people, she opened up the door to a lovely warm apartment to see Hazel and two other girls on the couch drinking some tea.

“Mia.” Hazel’s face lit up as she jumped to her feet, “Hi!”

“Hello.” Mia smiled as she put her bag down and nervously pushed off her coat. She glanced over Hazel’s shoulder to the two other girls who curiously looked at her and Hazel exhaled a breath while smiling, “You’re home, good. We waited on deciding for dinner until you were here. Are you hungry?”

Mia rubbed her hands together, an anxious trait before she also started fiddling with her earlobe. She nodded at Hazel’s question, “Quite hungry, yes.”

“Alright.” Hazel nodded, “Ready to meet my two friends? They’re my best friends, I’ve told you lots about them already.”

Mia nibbled her lip and nodded, “Okay.”

Hazel linked her arm in Mia’s and gently pulled her into the living room, “Guys, this is Mia, my angel of a roommate.” She introduced her and Mia immediately blushed while staring at the ground in shyness before lifting her head. The two girls seemed lovely and friendly as they offered Mia warm smiles, “Hi, we’ve heard so much about you.” One said and the other nodded, “It’s really nice to meet you.” She added.

“You too.” Mia murmured. Hazel then spoke again, “Mia, that’s Cassie.” She introduced Mia to a girl with strawberry blonde hair, styled into a wolf cut that looked incredible on her, before moving onto the next girl, “And Lynn. They live together.” She explained.

Mia nodded and took in the second girl, who had raven-coloured long hair and wore it in a high ponytail. She wore dark, smudgy eye make-up and it looked incredible on her. Both were dressed in outfits that signalled they were going to some sort of bar after this, because they weren’t really dressed for cold weather at all.

“Yeah, we live together with the spawn of Satan.” Lynn dramatically added, and before Mia knew it they were explaining to her the story of how they were fighting with their third roommate and hardly dared going home anymore since the third girl terrorised the place apparently. Mia listened with wide eyes and interesting nods. She had never been introduced to so much drama but it was quite fun to hear about.

Hazel stared at her roommate with proud eyes as she sat in between Cassie and Lynn. Mia only really turned pink and shy when they asked her a question, but Hazel had spoken to them about Mia and let them know to take it easy on her.

They eventually decided to order pizza, Mia even branching out by trying a few toppings. She had to admit she forgot all about Harry while hanging out with Hazel’s friends in such a non-expecting kind of way. Like these people were just genuinely nice and interested and they didn’t judge or want anything from her.

It was refreshing. She didn’t have to prove a thing to them.

“Alright, it’s nine in the evening, I think it’s time to start drinking.” Cassie eventually announced after finishing up her tea, “Who wants margarita’s?!”

Lynn and Hazel both cheered as Mia blinked at Cassie a few times, who softly smiled at Mia from her position next to her, “Do you want one, Mia? I can make it non-alcohol if you like.”

Mia let out a relieved breath and nodded, “That would be lovely, thank you so much.”

“No problem.” Cassie assured before she got up her feet and made herself comfortable in Mia and Hazel’s kitchen. Mia’s fingers itched to go help her or clean up after her or tell her not to slam the drawers so hard – but she refrained herself. She was trying to let go.

Once the doorbell rang, everyone assumed it was the pizza delivery service, but the third friend showed up. Renan was a very gay eighteen year old who Hazel had known most of her life. His hair was dyed navy blue and he sported a nose ring – which made Mia think of Harry instantly. He was just as friendly as the other two yet Mia needed a little more time to warm up to him for the simple fact that he was a man and she hadn’t interacted with men all that much in such a casual setting.

The non-alcohol margarita tasted delicious and eventually, Cassie made her a second one when the pizza’s arrived. It was foreign for Mia, sitting on the carpet around the coffee table and sharing pizza while having drinks and casual chats with friends. She was mostly listening to what they talked about, observing a little bit and smiling along sometimes.

Hazel followed her gaze when Mia got a text from Harry, smirking knowingly but not saying anything to her friends. Mia was pretty sure Lynn was in philosophy too.

Message from: H. Sinclair

Today’s session was actually kind of fun! Still no plans for tonight?

Mia warily looked at the message, leaving it open for a bit as she turned her phone over again and contemplated on what to answer him. She could feel Hazel staring at her and avoided her eyes. She didn’t exactly want to discuss this with the entire group, it’d be something for her and Hazel to talk about when they were on their own. 

“So Mia, do you want to go out with us tonight? We’re just going to this bar near campus.” Renan asked while chewing his pizza. Mia stopped mid-chew to stare at him and then flicked her eyes to Hazel, who was already looking back at her. Mia swallowed and cleared her throat, “Oh – uh… I don’t know.”

“Why not?” He pouted and Mia chuckled, “I-I wanted to revise a little bit.”

Cassie groaned in protest, “But it’s a Friday! Come on, it’ll be fun. It’s just a bar, nothing too crazy or loud or far. If you want to go home, you can.” She promised.

Mia felt put on the spot but eventually nodded, “Y-Yeah. Okay. I’ll come with you.” Her heart was beating a billion miles an hour as she agreed to do something she had never done before, and her anxiety was through the roof.

She stopped eating the pizza, her appetite fully gone and then she grabbed her phone, texting Harry back with shaky fingers.

Message to: H. Sinclair

I’m glad you liked it :). I’m going to a bar.

She sent it like that and locked her phone again before Hazel pulled her out of her thoughts, “Mia, can I talk to you for a minute?” She asked, nudging her head towards her bedroom. Mia nodded and followed her, blocking out the noise of the other three talking and laughing as she closed the door behind them when in Hazel’s bedroom.

“Are you okay?” Hazel checked immediately, “You don’t have to go out with us if you don’t want to. They won’t mind, I promise. They’re not like that. They just really like you and it would be fun if you’d join us. We’re just headed to that bar across the East building, it’s really mellow there and nothing rowdy.” She rambled.

“I-I’m fine. I think.” Mia stuttered, “Just a little nervous.”

Hazel pouted a little, “I know, I can tell.”

Mia fiddled with her fingers, “Can you… make me pretty then?”

“You’re already pretty.” Hazel frowned and Mia nibbled her lip, “Yeah, but… I don’t know, like my clothes and what make-up I should wear?”

“Of course,” Hazel rushed out, “but you don’t need any of that. Where’s this coming from?”

Mia pressed her lips together and shrugged and Hazel frowned deeper, “Is this because of Harry?”

“He just…” Mia sighed before shrugging again and diverting her eyes lower, “some girl picked him up after therapy and she was really pretty.”

“Is she his girlfriend, you think?”

“I don’t know.” Mia murmured, “I didn’t talk to her and I haven’t asked him. I-It’s stupid, right? That I’m feeling so down about that?”

“It’s not.” Hazel shook her head, “You like him a little, you have a crush. So it’s not a nice feeling to see him with someone else, even if she’s not his girlfriend. Have you spoken to him afterwards?”

Mia pulled out her phone, unlocked it and showed her screen with the messages. Hazel’s eyes flicked over the typed letters and she puffed out a loud huff, “Damn, Mia, you���re cold!”

“What?” Mia asked with raised brows and Hazel laughed softly, “You didn’t give him any room for an answer! You didn’t ask what he was doing, you didn’t say what bar you’re going to… it’s pretty obvious he asked you that because he wants to see you tonight.” She grinned.

Mia frowned, “It is? Obvious? I-I don’t know.”

Hazel playfully rolled her eyes, “You’re just so oblivious. Come on, let’s get you ready.”

“Yeah.” Mia ignored the heaviness in her tummy, somehow wanting to do this tonight but today had just already been a lot and she felt like she could use a nap. But she tried to be more spontaneous. If the bar really was that close, maybe she could just leave after like ten minutes of socialising and pushing her boundaries.

“D’you want a hug first?” Hazel offered and Mia sighed with low shoulders, “Yes, please.”

Hazel chuckled and pulled Mia into her, and the two hugged in the bedroom of the apartment which relaxed Mia to an extent she couldn’t explain. She pulled back with a soft smile, “Thank you.”

“Anytime.” Hazel nodded, before pulling Mia into her own bedroom to pick out an outfit.

About twenty minutes later, the entire crew of five was in Mia’s bedroom, looking for outfits. Mia had felt uncomfortable at first with all these people in her space, but they didn’t make anything weird and they didn’t look at her strangely. They just looked at her clothes and gave her advice, eventually settling on a cute flowy top with little blue flowers on it. It was a little low shaped around her chest but nothing her loose hair wouldn’t cover up. She pulled out the braid for the first time in what felt like forever.

Along with black flares that nipped in at her waist to give her an outstanding figure – as Renan said it to make Mia blush – and some heeled boots, the observers deemed her ready to go out with them. Mia borrowed a leather blazer from Hazel and felt like an entirely new woman. 

She was still fiddly and anxious, but also a little excited. She felt comfortable around these people and she hadn’t heard from Harry anymore. She hardly believed Hazel’s words. If Harry wanted to see her, he’d ask her, right?

Cassie offered her another non-alcohol margarita while Lynn did some magic on Mia’s eyes. With just some soft brown eyeshadow and a little blush, she looked very put together and was happy with the result.

“You have such good skin.” Lynn complimented while stroking the brush over Mia’s cheeks. The compliment made her smile and giddy inside, “Thank you. I have a pretty good routine down.”

“Yeah? You should let me have a look at those products.” She chuckled, “My skin’s a nightmare ever since going on birth control.”

Mia didn’t answer much, she couldn’t really talk about the topic of birth control. She wasn’t on any – her mother would absolutely kill her if she so much as mentioned it – and she didn’t feel like she truly needed it right now. Her periods weren’t all that bad and she wasn’t sexually active.

Once Mia put on her shoes, everyone was ready to leave a little bit before eleven. Mia couldn’t remember the last time she stayed up this late, her arm linked in Hazel’s as they braved the November cold in their thin – yet pretty – outfits.

A few streets over, Harry was in the very bar Mia was heading to. He sat next to Liam, drinking beer out of the bottle with his jumper on the chair next to him and his arms on display. He leaned back into the chair, watching as Niall and Louis played a game of pool and Zayn was at the bar ordering some more drinks.

His phone was on the table, staring at Mia’s message. He let out another sigh after swallowing his beer, “Seriously, what am I supposed to answer to that?” He groaned while showing Liam the screen. His friend had chuckled at his desperate attempts to get Mia to have a decent conversation with him through text. He shrugged, “She’s not a mind reader, Harry. I don’t think there’s any malicious intent in her text, she just doesn’t realise what you really want to ask.”

Harry rolled his eyes, nervously chewing on his lip. Today had been great with Mia – great enough that Harry could not get her out of his mind. The way her face fell when Sarah waited for him after the session, hadn’t gone unnoticed by him. He didn’t understand it, but didn’t have time to ask her anything.

Harry shot Sarah a brief wave, who was on the other side of the bar with Mitch. They were also people Harry had gotten to know through student housing, and he actually set the two of them up. He was quite proud of his work as Cupid, he only hoped he could do it for himself once too. 

As Zayn came back with the beers, the door opened with a little ding and Harry routinely checked to see who walked in and if it was someone he knew.

He froze completely when he did a double take, thinking he recognized Mia, only she looked completely different. Well, not completely different. Her hair was the same – only out of the braid – and he recognized the blue of her eyes as well as her soft pink lips, and the shape of her body in the flares she had worn all day.

But she looked confident, dressed in a cute floral top which was mostly hidden by the leather jacket she wore. She was surrounded by giddy girls which Harry recognized faintly from school. Mia had her arm linked in Hazel’s, someone Harry knew from certain classes.

“Liam.” He elbowed his buddy in the ribs harshly while keeping his eyes trained on Mia, who unsurely darted her eyes through the space to seize it up. Harry wondered if she had ever been here before.

“Ouch.” Liam complained, rubbing his sore rib as he frowned at Harry, “What?”

“That’s her.” He nudged his head in Mia’s direction who was now near the bar and standing close to Hazel while fiddling with her fingers. Liam chuckled, “Mia? She’s the one in the floral top?”

“Yes.” He nodded and Liam hummed, “She’s really cute.”

Harry turned around with a glare and Liam burst out into a cackle, “Fucking hell, you’ve got it bad. I mean she looks really sweet, H. Kind of too sweet for you.”

Harry rolled his eyes, “Too sweet for me.” He repeated in a low mumble and Liam chuckled again, “I don’t think it’s a bad thing, I think you can use someone to soften you up a little. You’re always so grumpy and uptight.”

“’M not uptight.” Harry retorted and Liam rolled his eyes, “It’s not because you fuck someone in a library and get caught doing so, that you’re not uptight. You’re just so… impatient and short-tempered. Like I said, someone to soften you up.”

Harry rolled his eyes too and snuck his eyes back to Mia, completely drawn to her and he knew other guys in the space were shooting her looks too. It was obviously someone new, someone no one had really seen before. She didn’t stand out much still in between her rather eclectic friends – including a guy with blue hair – but she was very easy on the eyes.

When she finally caught his eye, Mia’s face completely fell in pure shock. She paled and swallowed thickly, forcing him a tight-lipped smile, which Harry returned as he shot her a small wave. Mia’s heart was pounding and she turned around briskly, “Hazel.” She spoke in a right panic, eyes wide and heart thrashing violently in her chest.

Hazel frowned, “What’s wrong?”

“He’s here.” Mia squeaked in a shaky voice, “He’s here, he’s sitting right there! Oh my god.” She whispered while bringing her hand up to her mouth, “Oh my god, I’m gonna be sick.”

Hazel pressed her lips together, trying to keep a straight face when she really wanted to burst out laughing, “Mia,” She breathed, “he’s just a guy. Just… let him come to you and see what happens. You don’t need to be nervous. He’s just like you and me.”

Mia tried to level her breathing, tried to really listen to what Hazel was saying but her mind was clouded with anxiety, balancing on the edge of excitement but just tipping over into the truly scary side that made her spiral a little. 

She felt Harry’s eyes burning into her back and she subconsciously immediately wondered if he liked the way she looked tonight. Hazel nudged her into a booth and Mia slid in, sitting in between Cassie and Hazel and right across from Renan and Lynn. Her hands anxiously rubbed together on her lap until Hazel took a hold of one of them to distract her.

Mia really couldn’t explain how eternally grateful she was for her friend and her endless patience.

Sitting down, she found herself calming down a little. Harry wasn’t in her direct sight, she’d have to near snap her neck to take a look at him. She slowly sipped on the non-alcohol drink Hazel ordered her. It tasted sweeter than the margarita from earlier and she found herself quite liking it. She listened in on conversation but no one really seemed to mind that she was more of a silent observer than a loud participant.

Letting her eyes scan the room, Mia began to appreciate the building they were in. It was cosy and nice. The music was rather soft and in the background, it was littered with booths and then some smaller, round tables. There were pool tables on one side, the ceilings were high and had some wooden beams on them and the bar was long and shiny. It really did give off a good vibe.

Her breath caught in her throat again though when she laid eyes on the girl she had seen Harry with earlier. Her hair was still in the ponytail and she smiled widely at something the guy opposite her said, and Mia’s eyes widened when she leaned over the table and planted a kiss to his lips. 

Okay, so not Harry’s girlfriend.

Mia instantly felt silly for immediately assuming something like that and let out a sigh, wondering if she had been harsh in her messaging to Harry. With her lip between her teeth, she pulled out her phone.

Message to: H. Sinclair

Hi. :)

She left the page open, waiting for the three dots to appear in an answer from him, but minutes passed and nothing came on. Mia exhaled a breath and dared to sneak a glance over her shoulder, quickly seeing Harry leaned over the pool table with a stick in his hand and his lip between his teeth before he took his shot. She averted her eyes to the table behind him, seeing his phone on it.

He hadn’t seen. He hadn’t ignored her.

She felt relieved again, but hated the way she was so affected by this entire thing. She hadn’t really even known Harry for a week yet had seen him three times, and the receiving or not receiving a message from him really affected her mood. She didn’t like it, the power she had so willingly handed him because she was very certain it wasn’t the other way around.

She doubted he thought of her that much or that he waited for her text, or that he was this nervous to be in the same room as her.

Following along in conversation again, it was only a few minutes later that Mia wiggled herself out of the booth to get the next round. She had seen other people ordering and then the bartenders brought the drinks to the table, so she could do that. Order and pay, and then sit down again for them to be delivered. There was no way she could carry five drinks.

She had taken off the blazer and brushed her hair over her shoulder as she waited in line, subtly glancing to her left to see Harry again. She had been so shocked to see his face, that she hadn’t even noticed he was wearing a shirt and she could see his arms. He was too far away for her to decently see what tattoos he had, but he definitely had tattoos. His one arm looked like it was inked with lots of smaller doodles, while his other arm seemed mostly vacant apart from a few larger ones she couldn’t really see well.

He had a concentrated frown on his forehead, brown wavy chestnut hair swept away with one little floppy curl hanging down over the skin. He peeked through one eye before jamming his arm forward, bicep flexing as he harshly hit the white ball to collide with another.

Mia didn’t know much about the rules of pool, but in her mind, Harry had just won the entire game. He stared critically at his work, walking a slow circle around the table until she could see his casual jeans coming into sight. With the white t-shirt on, he looked so incredibly good she could drool if she opened her mouth.

“Hi.” Someone stood in front of her, blocking her view of Harry immediately and she blinked a couple of times to snap out of her thoughts. In front of her was a blonde man, smiling gently down at her to reveal one dimple in his cheek.

Harry had two.

She shifted on her other leg and politely smiled back, “Hi.”

“I haven’t seen you around here before, is it your first time here?” He questioned out of the blue and Mia swallowed, nodding softly, “It is.”

He took a swig of his beer and hummed, “Well, nice to meet you. I’m Tyler.” He extended his hand for her to shake and Mia hesitantly did, shaking it, “Mia.” She introduced herself.

The guy didn’t move away from her as she moved up a spot in the line for the bar. She snuck a glance over her shoulder, seeing Hazel and Cassie with their backs to her while Lynn and Renan were too busy in conversation to notice Mia talking to this stranger.

She tucked her hands into the back pockets of her jeans awkwardly, not sure what else to do with them.

“So you’re a student, I suppose?” Tylerasked, shuffling along with her. Mia nodded, “I am. Psychology, first year.”

Tyler’s face lit up, “Really? No way! I’m in my third year of psychology.”

“Oh, that’s cool.” Mia smiled gently, feeling slightly more at ease now that it sounded like he was just being polite and moving up in the line with her. Maybe he attempted to strike up a conversation to cut the line a little, make people think they were together so he didn’t have to wait for drinks as long.

“First year’s quite hard, don’t let it demotivate you though.” Tyler advised, “Are you struggling with any subjects?”

All of them – Mia thought to herself, but she shrugged instead, “It’s alright.” She lied, “Neuropsychology is quite difficult.”

“Fuck, yeah,” Tyler groaned, “I hated that. Who’s the professor again?”

“Professor Sawyer.” Mia answered and he chuckled again, “Right. She was such a bitch to me in my first year.”

Mia felt a little taken aback by his blunt words and just pressed her lips together. Never did she think she’d ever call another woman a bitch. Nor did she think professor Sawyer was one. She was a strict professor, but a correct one. She brought the course materials in a very right way, only it was a difficult subject and Mia was already slightly behind due to her dyslexia.

“So – uh,” Mia cleared her throat, forcing herself to say something, “how did your first year go?”

Tyler chuckled while taking another sip, “Passed the entire thing, with flying colours actually.”

Even if he was cocky about it, Mia did find herself slightly impressed. Tyler caught onto the look of wonder in her eyes, “If you ever have any questions… I could tutor you.”

Mia’s stomach tightened and her hands balled into fists in the back pockets of her jeans, “Oh. T-That’s nice but I’m actually following tutoring sessions already.”

“Yeah, but you have to pay for those. You wouldn’t have to pay for them with me. Unless – I mean, if you wanted to buy me dinner or pay me back in some other way, I wouldn’t stop you.” He had a small smirk on his lips and Mia’s cheeks heated up, immediately wondering if he meant what she thought he meant, and she very much hoped not.

She offered him a tight-lipped smile and Lucas drew a breath, “I’ll put my number in your phone, y’know, in case you ever need it.”

Mia felt her throat going a little dry, “I-I don’t have my phone on me right now.” She mumbled. It was true, she had left it on the table. All she took was some cash. She looked at her table, realising no one had noticed yet that she was here with Tyler in a conversation that had turned unpleasant pretty quickly. Not even the people around her – who could listen in – seemed alarmed at how uncomfortable she got.

“Oh,” Tyler pulled out his phone, “you can put your number in mine then.”

Mia’s lips parted as she scanned her brain for the right words to say until she eventually found her voice, “I – uh… I don’t think I want that. I don’t need tutoring, thank you.”

“Mia.” He frowned, pushing his phone a little closer to her, “C’mon, put in your number.”

“She said no, just back off.” Harry’s voice sounded closer by then she could’ve anticipated, and Mia jumped up a little at his sudden interruption. She could see him behind Tyler, a concerned frown on his face before he glanced at Mia, “Hey. You alright?”

“Y-Yeah.” She shakily answered. Tyler stared Harry up and down, “What? Mate, I’m in conversation.”

“Not anymore.” Harry shrugged, “Get lost, leave her alone. She doesn’t want your number.”

Tyler frowned deeper at him and then stared at Mia, huffing out bitterly before he turned around and left. Mia felt like she could breathe decently and Harry took Tyler’s spot, taking in Mia’s trembling form.

“Mia.” He tried to get her attention, moving one hand to her arm to get her to look at him, “I need you to tell me if you’re okay.”

Mia felt electrified with him touching her for the first time, a warm palm that she could feel even through the fabric of her floral blouse with the long bell sleeves. “Y-Yeah, I’m okay.” She murmured. Harry still looked worried as he nodded and then dropped his hand, “Good. I sent you like three texts asking you if I had to come and save you.”

She rubbed her forehead, “I left my phone on the table, I didn’t see.”

“Oh. Well, it’s always a good idea to bring your phone if you’re leaving your little group. Even in a bar like this, there are creeps everywhere.” His voice sounded gravelly and if Mia hadn’t been so flustered from her run-in with Tyler, she’d appreciate the way Harry stood in front of her in his effortless beauty. How someone could make a white shirt and blue jeans look so fashionable, was a mystery to her.

“Right.” She nodded at his words which were so obvious, “I-I’m sorry.” Mia felt stupid for not thinking of something so small as keeping her phone on her. Her arms were around herself and Harry shook his head, “Don’t apologise, ‘m just glad you’re okay.” He reassured her.

“And thank you for saving me.” She breathed, “He wanted my number, I-I didn’t want him to have it.”

Harry nodded, “I know.” He tried his best to keep his calm, but to see some guy blatantly flirting with an anxious Mia while he had to watch from across the bar as she forced him tight-lipped smiles and hardly dared to look at him, had been torture for Harry.

He didn’t want to overstep, but he didn’t want to leave her alone either. When he saw her visibly flinching at something he said, that’s where Harry drew the line and went to intervene. And he was glad he did, and he felt like he should’ve done it sooner.

“I was just trying to be polite.” Mia choked out, “I wasn’t flirting with him, I-I swear.”

“Hey,” He frowned, bringing his hand back to her bicep to gently rub in an attempt to calm her down, “I know, it’s okay. I didn’t think you were.”

Mia’s body flooded with relief at his words and Harry then shot her a reassuring smile, “I’m actually glad to run into you here. Didn’t think this was the bar you were referring to.”

“Oh.” Mia smiled softly, “I-I’ve never actually been here. I usually stay in on Fridays and enjoy some time by myself.”

Harry nodded, “Right. Well, I’m glad you’re here.” He repeated, feeling stupid about saying the same thing twice, but it was worth it when it caused Mia to shyly smile down at her feet. Harry decided to push it, feeling slightly more confident that maybe – just maybe – she had a crush on him too. “You look really pretty, Mia.”

“Stop.” She winced, bringing her hands out of the pockets of her jeans to hide her face with a giggle. Harry laughed at that, “What?” He pried and she shook her head, “You’re making me blush.” She admitted in a murmur.

They shuffled further into the line, only one person in front of them before she could place her order. “Because I’m giving you a compliment?” Harry asked and Mia nodded, still hiding her face until she spread her fingers so she could peek through them. Harry was still smiling at her and she eventually dropped her hands, revealing her pink cheeks and her soft grin.

Harry breathed out a chuckle and shook his head, “You’re also really cute.”

“Oh my god.” Mia winced, hiding her face again and Harry laughed a little louder this time, not stopping himself as he ghosted his hand over her lower back to nudge her forward. He did gently touch her to get her attention, “It’s your turn to order.”

Mia took a breath before removing her hands and clearing her throat in front of the waiter, “Hi. Uh – two beers, one red martini and one pink martini. And one alcohol free margarita, please.”

Harry’s lips twitched up in a soft smile, and he didn’t have to ask her to know which drink was for her. He also signalled the waiter, “Another beer for me. You can bring the drinks to that table,” He pointed to where Mia’s friends were, “and bring one of the beers and the margarita straight here.” He spoke.

The waiter nodded and when Mia went to pay for the drinks, Harry shook his head and instead offered his own card before Mia could protest. She stared at Harry with big wondrous eyes and he smiled down at her before urging her to sit down on one of the barstools off to the side. She did as he motioned for her to do before watching him as he grabbed another barstool and easily lifted it.

The sight of his muscles working just made her feel something she couldn’t really explain, and Harry was oblivious to her staring eyes as he placed the stool down right next to hers, their knees bumping together clumsily before he climbed on it.

“Thank you for the drink.” Mia broke the silence. Harry waved her sentiment away with a chuckle, “That’s alright.”

“How did you know the margarita was mine?” She asked curiously and Harry leaned his elbow on the bartop, shrugging, “Guessed it. You don’t strike me as the type to drink much.”

Mia’s smile fell a little and Harry caught on, quickly shaking his head, “No, no, I don’t mean in like a… I think you’re boring-way, because definitely not. I don’t know, you just seem careful.”

“I am.” She admitted, leaving out the part where she wondered sometimes if it was too careful. Mia always felt like careful was a nice way of saying that she was boring, and she had heard it all her life. Some said she was too careful and others – her parents – claimed she was never careful enough. Mia drew a breath, “I’ve never had an alcoholic drink.”

“That’s fine.” Harry shrugged, “I don’t drink much besides beer either."

Their drinks got placed in front of them before the waiter hurried away to serve the remainder of the people waiting in line. Harry lifted up his bottle, “Cheers.”

“Cheers.” Mia softly smiled, “And thank you, again. For the drink, for stepping in, for… everything.”

“Now you’re going to make me blush.” He teased and Mia giggled, taking a sip of her drink as he took a sip of his. He swallowed it, “D’you want to try it? Beer?” He offered her his bottle.

“Oh.” Mia hesitated, nibbling her lip. Harry saw her stare, “It doesn’t have much alcohol in it. You definitely won’t feel it from one sip, I promise.”

She looked at him and eventually nodded, “Okay.” She took the bottle from him and carefully brought it to her lips. Harry wanted to shoot himself when he could only think unholy things as she tipped the bottle back and her lips folded around the crown of it. He wanted to throw it to the side and pull her on his lap and kiss her until she couldn’t breathe.

Somehow it felt a little intimate, her drinking from his bottle. Her drinking where his lips had just been. Mia made a bit of a sour face at the taste and swallowed quickly, “I don’t think I like it.”

Harry chuckled and quickly reached for the bottle again, taking an urgent sip with the sole purpose of trying to taste some of her on it. And he did. The sweetness of her drink was covering up the crown of the bottle, and he licked his lips to savour it afterwards.

“You have so many tattoos.” Mia observed, deciding to state the obvious now that she could get a good look at his arms. Harry glanced down too and nodded, “I do. Kind of couldn’t stop once I started. I really only started getting them when I turned eighteen and it went on from there.” He simply explained.

Mia finally could see the full writing on his wrist, staring at the ink that decorated him so perfectly it seemed almost like he was born with it. 

Her and Harry got lost in a conversation she couldn’t exactly remember. The green of his eyes was enough to block out all her senses, and Harry thought it was adorable how she had to often ask him to repeat a question because she was stuck staring at him. It turned into blushing cheeks for her and teasing grins from him. 

Their knees bumped together more often now and Mia’s cheeks hurt from smiling so wide. She still felt some anxiety, but it was pure excitement now. Excitement to spend time with Harry, who had sort of been her knight in shining armour tonight. Mia hated to admit that she found that attractive, yet she had a feeling Harry didn’t mind being protective.

And she felt safe here, with him in a rather crowded bar. 

Her smile faltered though when she noticed Tyler again in the corner of her eye, glaring at the pair as he mumbled something to one of his mates. They didn’t seem to pay much attention to his words, but Mia shifted uncomfortably in her seat. Harry took notice of it, following her gaze before shooting her a sympathetic smile, “Are you okay?” He checked once more.

Mia exhaled a breath and contemplated her answer, but Harry beat her to it, “D’you want to go home?”

She lifted her eyes, apologising to him through them, “I think so, yes.”

He nodded understandingly, “C’mon, I’ll walk you home.”

Mia’s brows raised, “What? You don’t have to do that. Your friends are all here.”

“I see them every day.” He chuckled, “I don’t mind, Mia. Really. It would make me feel a lot better to know you got home safe.”

She nibbled her lip in hesitation, “Are you sure?”

“Very sure.” He nodded with a confirming smile, “I suppose you don’t live far?”

“No, like ten minutes.”

“Perfect.” Harry smiled, “Come on, let me walk you home.”

She fought the grin on her lips but found herself nodding, “Okay.”

[ninebluehearts]

Scars Under the Stars

A/n: A special fic requested by @sn1peraj !!💗 I hope this is what you were picturing 💗

Warnings: Angst: hurt comfort. Mentions of Sarah's death. Panic attacks.

Summary: Walking home from Ellie's, you find out about Joel's panic attacks.

-----------------------------------------------------

It was late by the time you and Joel had left Ellie's little home, which was only a five-minute walk from you and Joel's house. You decided to come along and watch Ellie's guitar lesson tonight since you hadn't really seen her since you all arrived at Tommy's. She was busy finally socializing with people her own age, and you and Joel were still working on relearning how to relax for the first time in twenty years.

You stared up at the stars on your way back, your arm firmly intertwined with Joel's. "You're right. She is getting better."

"Ain't she? Personally, I think she'd do better with a bass, but she's making it work."

"Why do you say that?" You leaned your head against his shoulder, looking up at him as he spoke.

Joel cleared his throat. "Well, with the way her hands are shap-" But before he could finish, a dry, harsh cough forced itself out of him, bringing along five more back-to-back, until Joel was doubled over, gasping for air.

"Holy shit Joel, what's wrong?" You asked, gently rubbing comforting circles on his back.

"I'm fine." Joel muttered; his eyes screwed shut as he tried and failed to catch his breath.

"No, you're not. Come here." You guided him over to a random porch step, helping him sit down on the damp wood. "Hey, look at me, okay? Breathe with me." You held Joel's hands in yours, maintaining eye contact with him as you took deep, even breaths.

It wasn't long before Joel could finally breathe normally again, though you were still worried. "What was that, Joel? And don't say you're fine, because we both know you're not."

Joel let out a defeated sigh, focusing on tracing the lines on your palm with his finger. "I don't know. I just get these little moments where I can't breathe and my vision starts to go out, ya know? Like I'm gonna pass out or something."

"What do you think about in those moments?"

"How I can't breathe really." Joel swallowed around the lump in his throat, taking another deep breath. "Or um, how she- what she.." And just like that, Joel finally broke down. Twenty years of suppressing his feelings with booze and pills finally caught up with him, breaking him down until there was nothing left.

"Oh, Honey.." You wrapped your arms around him as tight as you could, holding him as close as possible. You knew there was nothing you could say to make him feel better, but because he felt like he was falling apart, maybe holding him tight would make him feel like he was together again. At least for a moment.

A few moments later, when the worst of it was over, Joel began to stare off into space, as though he were distancing himself from reality "What if Sarah felt like that when she died?" He whispered, another tear slowly slipping down the curve of his nose as he closed his eyes.

That's where this was coming from; it all made sense now. Tommy had told you that he was concerned about Joel a couple of months ago, giving you a brief summary of how Joel thought he was failing Ellie as he felt he did Sarah, but you never thought it was this bad.

"No baby, I'm sure she didn't."

"How do you know? You weren't there. You didn't see the way she gasped for air. You didn't see how hard her little lungs fought-" He sobbed out, his hand flying to cover his mouth. He pulled himself out of your embrace, angerly wiping the tears from his face. "Fuck! Why does it still hurt?! It's been twenty fuckin' years!" He yelled, his entire body trembling from the waves of emotions that just kept crashing into him.

You tried to gently shush him, noticing the lights turning on in some of the surrounding houses. "I know it hurts. It's never going to stop hurting, baby. Ever." You walked over and held his face in your hands, gently wiping away his fresh tears with your thumb. "But maybe it's not so bad. Maybe the pain reminds you to look at it- to remind you of just how much you love her. The pain is always gonna be there, yes, but it'll get easier over time, I promise."

Joel just shook his head, tired and defeated. "I know. I know it's gonna get worse before it gets better and all that bullshit. Doesn't make it hurt any less from where I'm standing."

You pulled him into another tight hug, tearing up when you felt him melt into your embrace this time, his arms wrapping around your waist to hold you just as tight. You hated seeing him like this, knowing there was nothing you could do to make it one hundred percent better. But the best thing you could do for him right now, in this moment, is be there.

You stayed like that for a long time, the two of you gently swaying as you held one another. And when you did finally start walking home again, you couldn't help but notice that Joel walked a little bit straighter now. As though he finally left behind a little bit of that weight he constantly carried on his shoulders. It was going to take a lot of work, but maybe, just maybe someday he'll be able to lose it all.

[moonspirit]

1.What’s your favorite childhood show?

2.What’s something you believe in strongly, even if others don’t agree?

3.What’s a life lesson you’ve learned the hard way?

4.What’s a question you wish people asked you more often?

I just want to get to know you better, that's all. If you’re uncomfortable answering, then don’t. No pressure, okay?

Hello momo! Sorry it took me a while to answer this T^T

Hmmm, favourite childhood show... now that I'm asked about it I'm a bit blank lmao xD Although! If we ignore anime, which is what I grew up watching for the most part, I can recall a few science shows that had me obsessed. In particular there was the Cosmos series which was my introduction to all things space, and I still love it very much to this day :3

2. It's okay not to listen to people. Sometimes you have people telling you not to give up the opportunity, not to miss that chance, not to lose this, not to let that go... many times I've become very overwhelmed and confused and panicky because they mean well, and maybe they know better what I should or shouldn't be doing, even though I don't like the thing myself. But listen, if I really despise it so much, then it's okay not to go along with it. I can just take a step back and breathe before deciding what I really want to do.

3. That there's literally no shortcut to the good things without going through the hard things first haha xD Might sound like the most obvious thing tbh, but eh well. Sometimes... it's not an easy pill to swallow.

4. Maybe that would be... "Are you happy with this?" Because the way the last 10 years have gone, I know I've just been doing things I never enjoyed. By the time the question was posed to me, it was "too late" in a certain sense of the word haha xD Anyway. I'm also at fault; I never asked myself because I didn't have a solution for an answer and was scared of finding one.

So that answers everything for now :3! No worries, I had fun thinking about these questions, and thank you for sending them my way!

[bellobambino]

The Weight, Part 1: $680

A man pushed to his limits grapples with a broken system, determined to make an impact no one can ignore.

806w

The fic series, The Weight, is a multiple part series highlighting Luigi Mangione's journey through the assassination of the CEO of United Healthcare, and the aftermath. Told in Luigi's first person perspective.

AN: these fics are more like a series of vignettes. my nonna always said "if i had more time i would have written less.". A love interest DOES come up in this story and she is fairly generic and self insertable. Don't worry.

Here we go:

$680

This story is about her.

Her voice is soft and wobbly. She sounds exactly like my Nonna. And for a moment, I’m not in line at the pharmacy at Walgreens—I’m six years old, sitting at my Nonna’s kitchen table, my feet dangling above the floor. My hair curly, black, wild, and impossible to tame. No matter how hard she tried. It smells like old oak, espresso, and that faint, powdery old-people smell that always seemed to cling to her. I’m nibbling on a biscotti I haven’t figured out how to eat yet—it’s too hard, and I’m too small, but I don’t want to disappoint her.

Nonna is talking about the saints. It’s always something about the saints with her.

“San Giuseppe,” she says. “He worked hard, Luigi. Worked for his family. He sacrificed.” She taps her finger on the table, her eyes locking onto mine, drilling the lesson into my soul. “Sacrifice, capisci? It is what we do. For la famiglia. For the people who need us.”

I nod. Those were all words I knew. But I don’t think I really grasped the concept of sacrifice until much later in life.

There was something in her voice that made me sad, even back then. Like there was a weight to the lessons she was stacking on my little shoulders. Every word felt heavier than me. Maybe that’s why my spine is so fucked up.

I never got used to the feeling that no matter how good I was, I’d never quite measure up to the generations of sacrifice that came before me.

The stranger in front of me has her same lilt.

“I’ve been on this medication for years,” she says, her voice cracking just a little. “It’s for my heart. I can’t stop taking it. It’s the only one that works.”

I already know where this is going.

“Well, it seems your insurance isn’t covering that brand anymore,” the pharmacist says, her tone flat, bored. “You’ll have to get your doctor to write a prescription for another drug. We can fax them, but it could take a few days for them to respond.”

The old woman blinks, her confusion spreading like a ripple in still water. “Oh…” she mutters, her fingers fumbling with her purse. “How much is it without insurance?”

The pharmacist glances at the screen, her expression neutral. “Six hundred and eighty dollars.”

God dammit.

“Oh goodness!” The woman’s voice rises, panicked now. “That’s most of my Social Security check,” she says softly, like she’s embarrassed to admit it.

The pharmacist shrugs. “You can call the number on the back of your insurance card and ask them why they stopped covering it. I’ll fax your doctor, but they’ll probably get it after the weekend. You don’t want to skip a dose of metoprolol.”

My blood pressure rises, and I shouldn’t be listening. This is her personal business. But it hits me like a ton of bricks. Because skipping a dose means her heart might decide it’s done without the meds. Because skipping a $22 pill means dying, maybe alone in her kitchen while the tea kettle screams on the stove.

Who would find her?

The market price for keeping herself alive is $680 that she doesn’t have. She opens her wallet, her hands trembling as she pulls out a credit card.

“I will use this…” she says, her voice trailing off, soft and broken.

The card swipes. It beeps. That’s it. She looks resigned. She takes the bag and walks away slowly, clutching it like it’s full of gold bars instead of heart medication.

And me? I’m standing there, fists clenched, filled with this white-hot rage that I can’t even see around. Tunnel vision.

Someone has to fucking pay for this.

The pharmacist calls me forward, and I take a breath. My legs feel heavy as I step up to the counter. She scans my prescription—$4 copay, smooth as butter. I don’t even have to think about it. But I’m not thinking about my prescription. I’m thinking about her.

I grab my little bag and walk out of the store, but I’m not walking. I’m falling—spiraling down into this endless pit of rage. I feel all the warmth leave my body through my feet, replaced by a cold, hollow static.

The rage comes back, but now it’s a dagger in my hand: sharp, deliberate.

I’m reminded that I’ve got nowhere left to go. Nothing to lose. No safety net, no real future. I don’t see a version of this life that isn’t dictated by pain and powerlessness.

I have nothing but my own free will. I’m worth at least that much.

And suddenly, the concept of sacrifice that Nonna was talking about is crystal clear.

I’ll wear the weight of what needs to be done so so others don't have to. I'll speak for them. Maybe not with words, but action.

Someone has to do something. Someone has to do the bad thing.

And that someone is me.

[ozwriterchick]

Swimming Lessons

Characters: Dad!Bucky; OFC!Reader; OFC!Little

Content warnings: None, just some fluff

A/Note: This is my first post back since some health concerns in June/July. I've put off going back to writing but I'm hoping this serves as my reintroduction and to my mojo being back!

This story idea came to me at the gym last week. It kinda got away from me, to the point that the last paragraph is really the crux of what the story was going to be.

Anyway, I hope you enjoy, let me know your thoughts and don't forget to like/reblog.

Dividers by: @firefly-graphics

Masterlist

In the 7 years since you came to live at the compound with the Avengers, a lot had changed for you.  Not just professionally, but personally as well.

Professionally, you’d risen to a management role with your team, which had you assisting and overseeing mission planning and comms.  The team really respect ted you  and your skills and appreciated your assistance in helping them out of tight spots on occasion.  You thoroughly enjoyed your job and having such close friendships with most of the team.

Personally, you’d met the love of your life, dated for 3 years and have now been married for 3 years.  You and Bucky had danced around your attraction for about 6 months before he asked you out after Sam pushed him one day by saying that if he didn’t ask you out, someone else would snap you up.

At the same time, Natasha and Wanda were giving you the same speech about Bucky.  You still insist it was the best thing you and he ever did.

Your first date went so well, you two were practically inseparable from that day on.  Dinners, coffee, breakfast, move nights, you name it the two of you were together.

Seeing him off on missions was hard, but being able to be on comms helped, because you could hear everything happening and it put your mind at ease, most of the time.

The biggest change, for both you and Bucky, came about 21 months ago when your son was born.  Neither of you planned to have kids so soon, but a bout of the flu not long after you got married, rendered your contraceptive pill less effective that month and before you knew it, a little nugget was on the way.

That’s how Bucky christened the new life when he first found out.  He was nervous that he wouldn’t be a good father, but you tried to assure him that by even being concerned about that proved already that he would be a great father.  Those weren’t just words to you, you truly believed he would be the best father possible and you were so grateful he was going to be the father of your child (or children).

Your pregnancy went smoothly and thankfully Noah was a very placid baby who rarely cried, slept through the night from about 4 months old and just generally enchanted anyone who met him.  

His big blue eyes sparkled and his dark hair, so much like his father, was longer than a normal toddler his age. You’d constantly be stopped in the park or on the street by people he grinned at who just wanted to compliment you on such a gorgeous baby.  You had to agree, you and Bucky made a good looking baby.

You didn’t think you could fall any more in love with your husband, but seeing him being a father definitely did it.  The way he looked after Noah and was so protective of both of you mad you want to have a whole tribe with him.  He didn’t know it but the wasn’t totally out of the question.

One night at the dinner table as you were both watching him try and feed himself spaghetti, you turned to Bucky “Hey Buck, what do you think about swimming lessons?”

“Umm, sugar, I don’t know how to break this to you, but I know how to swim” he smirked at you.

He winced, dramatically, as you slapped his arm “Not for you doofus” you laughed at him “for Noah.  We have a pool here at the compound and I know we’ve taken him in the water more than once, but I really want him to have water confidence just in case something happens and neither of us are there.”

“That sounds like a great idea my love.  How about you look into it and let me know what you find?    Now, do you want to bath the nugget or do the dishes?” He asked as he kissed you on your forehead, before gathering the dishes and taking them to the sink.

Later that night, you’re sitting in bed with your laptop in front of you, looking up local swim schools for toddlers.  Noah was fast asleep in his new big boy bed, which he’d been so excited about when he saw Bucky putting it together.  You smiled at the baby monitor, which had video as well as sound, nothing but the best for your baby boy.

All of a sudden you feel like you’re being watched and you look up to see Bucky leaning against the bedroom door frame, just watching you with a silly grin on his face.  “What? Do I have something on my face?” you asked him.

“No my sweet girl, just appreciating your beauty and how lucky I am” he said moving to your side on the bed and kissing your temple.  “What are you up to?”

“Just researching local swim schools.  There are a couple in the area that have really great reviews.  Maybe we can go visit them with Noah on the weekend?”

“Sounds like a plan” Bucky said, moving the computer off your lap and onto the bedside table. “Can I interest you in a different kind of research right now?”

Saturday came faster than expected.  You had called both of the swim schools and schedule meetups for you, Bucky and Noah to tour and get to know the staff there, also observing one of the toddler classes.

The first school was called The Swimming Station.  The director, Blanche Lee was an older lady, from the deep south who had moved to New York many years ago, but seemed to have retained her Southern accent.  She greeted the 3 of you and paid attention to Noah who charmed her as was his usual M.O.  After the tour, which you and Bucky were both impressed by, she handed you paperwork to fill out if you decide to join.  She then introduced you to the teacher whose class Noah would be joining, who invited both of you to sit poolside to observe the class that Noah would be in.

As you got in the car after leaving The Swimming Station, your husband bucked Noah into his car seat and then slid into his seat behind the wheel.  “So, what did you think?” He asked.

“I thought it was great, everyone was so nice, and they all treated Noah so well”

“But…?”

“I don’t know, let’s just go see the other one and then we can make our decision from there.”

Bucky put the car in drive and headed towards the 2nd swim school, Tiny Fin Aquatics.  You liked the sound of that, also they were specifically designed for kids under 10 and that they had a sister-school called Big Fin Aquatics that the kids would graduate to, once they were old enough.  It was a newer school than the last one and it had better reviews.

Driving up and parking out the front, you were even more impressed with the place.  It was so bright and shiny and all the parents you saw turning up had big smiles on their faces.

Entering the school, you were met by the Director, Anthony Cooper.  You’re not sure why you were surprised the director was a man, but you liked the vibe he exuded and when you looked at Bucky, with Noah on his hip, he nodded in agreement.

After going over costs and associated paperwork, Anthony took you both on a tour and introduced you to Noah’s instructor.  You had a few minutes of conversation  and then headed poolside to watch the class.  Noah was eager to get into the water after being at the last school and then having his parents rip him away before he could get in the pool.

Bucky leaned over and whispered that you should have brought all of your swimsuits so he could have a quick swim.  You promised that you’d be able to do that once you were home.

The class looked like it went well and, before leaving you let the teacher and director know that you’d contact them if you had any further questions and wished them both a great day.

You and Bucky discussed both options on the car-ride home.  The pricing at the Swimming Station was better, but there was just something about it that you weren’t sure about.  Bucky felt the differently, he liked both schools but the classes at The Swimming Station were smaller and it was closer to the compound.

You decided to have a swim with Noah and talk about it later, maybe over dinner.  It was a shame you couldn’t ask Noah for his opinion.

You gave Noah an early bath and dinner after your swim and he was asleep before you and Bucky sat down for your dinner.  It had been a big day for your little boy.

“So” you and Bucky both said at the same time.

Laughing you continued “We have to sort out which swim school we are going to send Noah to.  They both have their positives, I just think that Tiny Fin has more positives.”

“Uh-huh, I hear you, I just think the smaller class sizes at the station would suit him better.”

Back and forth you talked it out for the duration of your dinner, in amongst remembering funny stories about some of the memories you made in the last 6 years that centred around swimming and water.

Sitting on the couch, snuggled into his side, you both ended up deciding on Tiny Fin for Noah.  It was newer and the vibe was amazing and you were ok with spending a little more time and money to have the best for your little man.

A week later, on Saturday morning, you got Noah ready for his first swim class.  You and Bucky played rock, paper, scissors to decide who got in the pool with Noah.  Normally they didn’t do this for toddlers his age, but given it was his first lesson they had offered you or Bucky to get in the pool with him.

After 3 rounds, Bucky won 2-1.  You should have known, he always beat you at rock-paper-scissors.  Next time, you’d have to think of another way to decide - or you’d have to distract him some way.

You arrived at Tiny Fin, having set up the payment and membership information through the week online.  As you picked up your membership tag, you saw Anthony, the director and waved as Bucky took Noah down to poolside to get him ready for the class.  On your way to join them you saw the teacher and by the time you got to the pool deck, Bucky was already in the pool with Noah.  Your breath hitched in your throat as you watched your husband, bare-chested with your baby boy in his arms.  Noah was squealing with joy as one of his favourite places to be was in the water.

The way Bucky was looking at him and holding him and laughing with him near about stopped your heart.  One thing was for certain, he was getting a tribe.

Tag list: @cjand10 @angstysebfan @psychictazzy76 @lovely-geek @samanthaneedsanap @kentokaze @void-imaginations @iheartsebastianstanstuff @yourmumsluke

[writingsofwesteros]

As the posh girl got up, she tries getting her wits about her. Did she really sleep with this guy just for revenge…. Ugh, she should be smarter than this! And the asshole finished inside. Didn’t wear a condom or ask about birth control or nothing

It’s fine, she can always get the pill, but she’s gotta get out before he wakes. Slowly standing and walking towards the door. She can make it. He wont notice so….

“Leaving so soon?”

He’s awake. Sitting up and grinning at her.

“I know I wasn’t that bad the way you squealed.”

Her clothes! She needs to get her clothes. But when she goes to reach for them he grabs her and pulls her back close to him. Damn it! Doesn’t he know who she is! He can’t just be pawing at her like this.

She tells him to let her go. She has places to be. He nips at her neck and cups her ass, pressing her closer. She can feel his cock… it’s fully hard.

“C’mon…. What’s a few more minutes? You filmed a whole video with me last night….. one more go won’t make a difference…”

And then she feels his cock slowly pushing into her. Just part of it. Slowly moving as if to tease her.

She tries not to whimper, and scowls at him instead. “You… wouldn’t understand but… some of us have reputations. I… have school. Not skipping for some nasty trailer park dick”

The second the words are out of her mouth, she knows she fucked up. Suddenly she’s pressed against the wall. And he isn’t taking it slow anymore. He pulls his cock out before completely shoving it back in. Hard. She gasps at the almost painful thrust.

She feels his hand holding her throat as he keeps her pressed there, no time to close her legs as his cock batters her insides like he’s trying to teach her a lesson. And he is.

“Stuck up little cunt… acting like you’re too good for any of us here all cuz your family thinks they’re hot shit.” He pinches her nipple and makes her cry out. “But I heard you moaning last night. You didn’t moan like that for your cheating man, did you?”

He thrusts hard again, and flips her onto the bed. Her legs hanging off, allowing him full access to her deepest parts from behind. Which he takes full advantage of. Smacking her arse hard and pulling her hair as he pushes further in, now completely balls deep.

“Nasty trailer park dick huh? That’s what you think? Cuz you sure are clenching around it like it’s the best you’ve had.”

The girl can hardly think now. She’s more than made a mistake. She can only claw at the sheets.

“Say it whore… if this is just nasty trailer park dick, then you’ve got a sloppy easy cunt that loves it raw and rough. Don’t you, stuck up whore”

He makes her say it. Makes her say she loves his cock. Writes things on her body. To remind her. Including his name. More specifically “property of Benjicoot Blackwood” right on her arse.

By the time he lets her go it’s late afternoon. She can only stumble out, pulling on her clothes as new cum leaks out of her. This is the last time… she’s not letting him do that again

He smirks as he watches her stumble away. This is far from the last time

The next time he sees her, he’s offering her a ride. It doesn’t take long for him to have her beneath him again. First in the car. Then taking her out and having her suck his cock behind it. He takes pictures and she tries to cover her face.

And then she ends up right back where she started. Squealing and begging as Ben fucks her raw in his room again.

She was going to lecture him about wearing a condom, or not finishing inside as much. But she’s too tired by the end. And eventually gives up and allows herself to spend the night.

Ben meanwhile updates Aegon, messaging him some of the pics and videos. Aegon congratulates him on the success. And tells him he just had a friend field test some new drugs recently. Really heightens the senses during sex. Jokes about giving him the “employee discount”

Ben might just take him up on that. Before, he was just a little horny. But now he wants to wreck this proud girl’s life and keep her for himself. And doing drugs while taking it raw from a guy in a trailer…. Now that’s a start

(anyone else want to move in there ;)

Ben really has revenge on his mind now; oh she is not going to be able to escape this.

She tries to be sorry as well, apologising but he only smirks. Oh she will be sorry, he thought to himself .

She cuddles into his bare chest now as his phone pings. Her exhaustion clear to see and it only has her more clingy

[xaytried]

Dan Heng x Depressed Reader

self-Indulgent idk what im doing bro. first fanfic ever??

not proofread!! 1.4k words

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: .☽ . :☆ﾟ. ───

The day you had begun as it usually does. Being woken up by your cat at 6 in the morning, even though you had gone to bed at 3 am. You should have learned your lesson by now. Why do you still choose to go to bed so late, knowing damn well your cat would wake you up with the sun. 

It was hopeless trying to go back to sleep after getting up to feed the cat, so it might as well be productive right?

Your idea of productivity was different from others. For most people that meant maybe checking their email or cleaning up a little. For you though, it meant feeding yourself and taking your medication. Things most people don't think twice about, but the hardest part of your day. Your boyfriend knew this. He usually got up around 6, not because of the cat. He’s always been a productive and curious man. He gets up early and takes care of himself without any issues. That's not to say that he doesn't have his problems, but even he can admit that he doesn't have it nearly as difficult as you do. 

You get up and don’t even bother getting dressed, it was impressive enough that you even got up in the first place. It’s just another extra chore. You’re not going anywhere today anyway. The only thing you have today is online, and surely your psychiatrist won’t be able to tell you don't have pants on while on the video call. 

You make your way downstairs and on arrival, your lovely boyfriend, Dan Heng, greets you with a gentle smile, as he does every morning. 

“Good morning, darling.” He looks at your exhausted expression, a little worried that you look so worn out despite having just woken up. But he knows how awful your sleep schedule is. You honestly don't know why he still even wastes his worries on you.

“Good morning.” You reply.

You make your way across the living you into the kitchen. The medication you take requires food before you can take it. Supposedly you'd get sick if you missed this vital step, but you have never risked it. The last thing you wanted was to puke all your expensive medication down the toilet. Unfortunately though, you never really found anything appetizing, not ever. 

“I made you a breakfast taco, it should be in the fridge.” Dan Heng's voice startled you.

“Oh, okay… Thanks.” You make your way over to the refrigerator.

Dan Heng watches you. He watches through concerned eyes. It makes him sad that you always seem to wake up feeling absolutely nothing. No motivation or anything. And it's not like your sad or anything like that. It just hurts his hurt seeing you suffer. 

Ever since you first met him you've been very open to him about your depression, but once he moved in with you it's been more apparent. It's just not fair. It's not fair that a beautiful and kind-hearted individual such as yourself struggled so fiercely to function. You never had energy, you were always tired and your body constantly ached. 

He watches you take your pills every morning. This has got to be the fifth anti-depressant you've tried and it makes his heart ache to see you get absolutely no relief. It's like you're immune to everything you try. All he can do is be here for you, but he wishes so deeply that he could do more.

You slowly eat your breakfast and take your pills, standing in the kitchen for about 5 extra minutes just to stare at the remaining water in your glass. When you were little you used to always drink chocolate milk with your breakfast. That was too much effort now. You zone out, staring at your water, thinking about how much things have changed.

Your mother used to call you a “ray of sunshine”, her “sweet baby”. You never lost that kindness from your mother but it seems you certainly lost yourself. These are things that only Dan Heng can see in you now though. And no matter how hard you tried you could never see it in yourself. If it was the middle of the night and the sun wasn’t awake to mock you, this certainly is something that would make you tear up. But you physically couldn't cry right now. 

Your thoughts are interrupted by your boyfriend's arms wrapping around your waist.

“You okay?” He asks, chin pressing against your shoulder as he speaks. 

“Yeah.” You reply. Which is the truth. Nothing is ever exactly wrong, it's just never right. This is just how things always are. The cause of your depression was a chemical imbalance, there was nothing that could be fixed. So overall you’d say you’re pretty okay.

“Are you sure?” He lets out a breathy laugh. “You’ve been staring at that water for quite a while.”

You give him a soft smile. It’s not often your serious boyfriend lets out a laugh, but it seems even he knows the power his joy has over you. Coming over here and letting out a laugh into your ear, it’s enough to help you push forward for today.

You turn around, now facing Dan Heng, his hands now resting on your hips while you lean against the counter. Before you started dating him you would never have guessed how important physical touch was for him, he had always been so distant, wanting nothing more than to lock himself in another room and isolate himself for hours. 

Dan Heng certainly preferred to be alone, but ever since he met you he realized her much more enjoys being alone with you. Moments like this, when the world is still and it’s just the two of you, with some peace and quiet. That’s what he lives for. 

You were tempted to speak but then Dan Heng let out a sigh and rested his head on your shoulder. You let your concern show by moving your hand to his back, but you knew that if he wanted to talk he would. Perhaps right now all he needed was some quiet.

After a minute or two of silently rubbing Dan Heng’s back, he spoke. “You know you can talk to me right?”

You have nothing to talk about.

“I love you, I would love to listen, I would love to support you.”

“You’re already my biggest supporter.” You let out a giggle, hoping it would soften the mood a little more. 

“I want to help.” He’s more serious than ever.

“You do help, baby. More than you’ll ever know.” Your comforting words also help to comfort you. It was true. Even before you started dating Dan Heng had been your best friend and biggest supporter. Honestly, without him, you don’t even know if you’d still be here. But you don’t tell him that. He doesn’t need to know that you ever think of not being here. 

He stands straight up again to brush his hand across your cheek and that's when you can see it. His tears. There aren't many but he is without a doubt crying.

“Hey, what's wrong?” You ask him, no longer leaning against to counter, hands cupping his face, deep concern wavering in your voice.

“Y/N, you’re the most loving, kind, most perfect soul I’ve ever met, so why is the world doing you so wrong? You deserve to wake up every day full of excitement, full of energy, ready to take on the day. You deserve to smile, to laugh, genuine ones. Genuine smiles and genuine laughs.” Your eyes start to water, you continue to hold onto his face as tears roll down his cheeks and onto your fingers. “You deserve to be happy, Y/N. It’s not fair. You do so much good for so many people, for me. You make me smile, you make me happy, you make me feel alive. I don’t feel like I need to run anymore because I have you. So why must the world put you through so much pain?”

You had never seen him like this. 

“Shhhh…” you hush him and he looks at you, no longer breaking eye contact to speak. “I’m happier than I’ve ever been because of you Dan Heng,” you promise him. “I finally feel loved.”

After a moment of looking at you, he kisses you. Its soft and warm, a kiss to tell you that he’s not going anywhere and that he’ll be with you forever. 

With him… you’ll get through this.

[aces-and-angels]

for the ask game

25, 14, 9 for Enid

4, 16 for Joaquin

23, 28 for Zahir

PRETTY PLS TY!

eeeep- it's been too long since i've gushed over these fools😭 let's get into it

a peek inside their…

enid:

9. "junk" drawer

pre-merger*: sweets (hard candies, sour gummies, chocolate, etc.), misc. beauty product samples, pocket notebooks, pens, tape (bc there's always tape in a junk drawer)

sugar is definitely one of enid's vices, so it's very on brand of her to have a stash of sweet treats nearby at any given moment. park & davis represents several high profile clients. the samples are a nice perk (along with the high billables✨) enid prefers to jot down notes by hand before/during meetings. her pocket notebooks are filled with shorthand version of her more polished work. it's a habit she picked up during law school to help commit lessons to memory.

post-merger*: wind's tchotchkes- an assortment of random gifts given to enid by wind. includes but not limited to: a miniature tea pot, crystals, a music box, sword keychains from his trip to the renaissance fair

at first, enid throws these things away- unable to stand the random clutter that somehow found its way to her desk. it's only after wind catches her tossing away yet another set of trinkets (with an ear-piercing shriek) does she make a point to store them away for safekeeping.

*= down the line in the windverse, park & davis merges with mcgraw byrne after eli byrne nearly runs the firm into the ground.

14. computer home screen

snakes on snakes on snakes for miss enid🐍

25. five most recent in google search history

enid @ this question:

joaquin:

4. car glovebox

while joaquin moved coasts, his car did not.

however-

he was able to bargain for unlimited access to mcgraw byrne's town car in his employee contract. joaquin quickly befriends his drivers, who in turn keep their glovebox stocked with the essentials: a spare tie, cologne, hand cream, comb, an eye mask, and neck pillow <- joaquin has a tough time adjusting to mcgraw byrne's work schedule so he spends his rides catching up on sleep. he's known to tip generously in exchange for another slow lap around the block.

16. cd collection

selena- ven conmigo | d'angelo- brown sugar | alanis morissette- jagged little pill

this by no means is joaquin's full collection- but these albums were heavy on his rotation

zahir:

23. bank account

zahir is considered to be well-off. he always has a bit saved up in case of emergency, doesn't have to worry about rent since he currently lives with his family, and is celebrating getting his holiday bonus from the firm 😎

28. five most recent sent text messages

[ask-the-tale-of-kingdoms]

{ Responding to this }

Snap Sondoria could no longer bare to sit through and watch this pest of a Pokemon continue speaking to her mother like that. While she may not know the 'why', she is somewhat aware of what he is doing. And she absolutely hates it. She despises it to the point that she wants this Sylveon hybrid to be chucked straight into the depths of Earth's core. Oh how she would love for his smug face to be melted off. That way, that irritating expression of his would never to be seen again. The Celestial Eevee exposed her teeths, as she released a low-pitched, deep throat growl. To her, she had just about enough of this charade. She was trembling, as Sondoria is just about ready to blow up. So, not holding it in any longer, she let her anger burst out. Spewing a slew of non-literal fire at Lief's general direction. "Shut up! Quit being an absolute Tauros turd already!"

"Sondoria, no." Symania frowned as she turn back to face towards one of her daughters. Disapproving of the princess's outburst. "Please, refrain from acting out to our visitor.

"Can you not see that this stupid idiot is looking down on you mom?!? First he whines about not being taken to the landmarks, even though he never asked to be escorted. Then he disregards your words, even though he was JUST complaining about needing to be convinced. And then, THEN, this careless flying Rattata decided to call you a nerd. A NERD! Mom, he is trying to insult you!" Sondoria turned to face Lief once more. "Disrespectful Pokemon like you needs to be BANISHED!! GONE! DISAPPEARED FOREVER!"

"Sondoria Orym Malvaniel, that is enough!" Symania would slam her paw down, as her body fully face its direction towards the oldest daughter. The queen couldn't tolerate the outcry coming from the mouth of the princess. The very princess who is meant to be well-behaved to outsiders. "This discourteous behavior is unacceptable and will not be tolerated. I won't allow this to go on, Sondoria.".

"!! Mom, he--"

"I am aware and unbothered of the matter. He is still a visitor, Sondoria. He, as many other Pokemon, is rightfully justified to be within my kingdom. What is undeserving is him being spoken so ill-mannered by someone who should of been more mature. My dear, I've taught you to be the better Pokemon in such circumstances and to not dwindle yourself to cause conflicts. Aggression will only grant poor resolutions…"

"…" All this Celestial Eevee could do was pout. Swiftly turning her head away, as she didn't wish to have her disapproving eyes be seen by her mother. She didn't appreciate being spoken like this in public. Especially in front of him. And yet, despite not feeling too please with the words, she didn't try to protest. As much as a hard pill as it is, she didn't quite fully disagree with Symania. Well… While she feels like Lief didn't deserve of her mother's patience, nor time of day, Sondoria didn't find herself rejecting at the thought that maybe she was being a little too aggressive with her words. Maybe…

Soon enough, her starry eyes would slow drift towards back to Lief. That self-thought about her aggression had already been washed away, once her eyes met back with the Bug-Fairy Pokemon. Her feelings of annoyance rising back up once more.

Her eyes, of what she saw first is..

The face. That cheeky, self-satisfying face. Sondoria still hates seeing Lief's little expression. Oh how she just wanted to punch that look off of him. Every fiber of her being just wanted to deal with him herself. Just… If she could bite him, be it on the leg or that dainty wings of him, maybe that could teach him a lesson to not be this careless of the royals. Perhaps… Just one bite…

Before the princess could even do anything, the queen would stand forth between both Lief and Sondoria. It is as if she was read like a book. Then again, her sheer obvious expressions and the chomping motion says it all… Her intentions became rather clear to the present audience of what she was attempting to do. Or moreso, the very least, was planning to do. All Symania could do was release a deep sigh from between her lips. Unapproved of this behavior. Without another word of lecture, she would face her head towards the youngest.

"Ondorus, my dear. May you kindly escort our visitor to seeing the sights of our landmarks? I'll need to hold a proper discussion with your sister…"

The young prince gasped. His eyes widen, the singular pupil of his would shine with pure glee. He would seem that he really couldn't contain his absolute joy, as Ondorus tail was swaying back and forth in great speed. Never has he ever been given such a big task before! Well… At least to him, it would seem to be like something that holds of incredible importance. Before he could declare his excitement and gracefully accept this, Nuria would seem to speak up. Seemingly beating him to his words.

"… I can take and show him around.". Alas, Nuria wouldn't dare try to express or state why she suddenly became the one to offer to be the one to escort Lief. Especially considering that the task was given to her younger brother. Much to the dismay of Ondorus, as it was something that he greatly looked forward to doing. "I'll show him the areas you've mentioned."

However, despite of such a lovely offer, Symania could only decline with a shake of a head. "No, Nuria. I need you to remain here. I need to hold a proper discussion with you as well. Now, Ondorus. Please take out lovely visitor around.".

Even though Nuria wishes to speak out about this, she already saw how the scene already played out between Symania and Sondoria. So, she chooses to not speak further. Knowing that things wouldn't lead towards her way anyways.

Ondorus excitement rose once more, as he would shake his head up and down like a bobble toy. Without wanting to let this opportunity go, head would bounce upwards and direct himself towards the western path. "Come, come, mister! I'll take you alllllll over to see the fun places!". His toothy smile was shining as bright as the stars. Revealing how utterly happy he is to be able to lead Lief throughout the kingdom. Indeed, he was definitely looking forward to taking Lief all around Valinthea. The young prince surely wants to ensure that his best will make the Simbobeon very happy. Or at least, he hopes that he can bring in some form of cheeriness. Even if just for a bit!

{ @ask-team-misfit }