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the-ghost-king · 4 years ago

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Schizophrenic Nico, here's why I think it's possible:

I want to start off by saying these are just my thoughts, there is no one way to be schizophrenic or to have schizophrenia. It's also important to note that many of the schizophrenic symptoms overlap with other mental illnesses/nuerodivergences like ADHD, Autism, Depression, and OCD which I know many people who head canon Nico as having. I'm not arguing schizophrenic Nico is more correct, more canon, or more right, but to explain some thoughts on why I think it's possible/very likely he does so I can use this for future reference in various thing.

I am using the term schizophrenia as a catchall for all "types" of schizophrenia, but not for schizoaffective disorder which I would say Nico probably doesn't have.

Children born in the winter/those who were "sickly" as babies are more likely to develop schizophrenia. It may also be possible if your mother was sick while pregnant with you, or having a father who was significantly older when he had you.

A stressful life, especially trauma, are more likely to develop schizophrenia or schizoaffective disorder. It likely has something to do with excessive dopamine production, but it may also have something to do with the same genes that control the sleep-wake cycle. Schizophrenia is more common with other mental illnesses or with other nuerodivergences or developmental delays.

Common symptoms include:

Hallucinations

Delusions

Disorganized thinking

lack of motivation

slow movement

change in sleep patterns

poor grooming or hygiene

changes in body language and emotions

less interest in social activities

Now what does this mean for Nico, and why do I think it's likely he has Schizophrenia?

Let's start with Nico's childhood, "children born in the winter/those who were "sickly" as babies are more likely to develop schizophrenia". Although Rick proposed two birthdays for Nico, the fandom generally accepted the January date more fully. We also know that Nico is described as small when he was younger, smallness is common in children who grow up sickly, but it is also common in children who's mother was ill while pregnant with them. We obviously don't know if Nico was sick as a kid, or if Maria was sick while pregnant with him, but again being born in the winter makes these things more likely, as well as consideration for the time period Nico grew up in and the larger variety of illnesses going around at the time. (He is vaccinated against some things though).

Trauma and Nico... do I really have to go into super detail on this one? He spent his childhood growing up in a fascist country that was extremely racist/anti-Semitic/homophobic/etc, his mom died when he was a child- in front of him, his father intentionally gave him amnesia, his sister died when he was a child, he then proceeded to become homeless living/spending lots of time with Minos who verbally (and possibly physically) abused him, becoming aware of his past memories, becoming aware of the fact that many people hated him because of his father and because they thought he was joining the other side (therefore, he was "bad"), he fought in many battles as a child, fought monsters alone, was often faced with life or death situations, went to Tartarus alone (where the goddess of misery told him he was "perfect"), was trapped in a hostage situation with little/no air for a long time while people debated whether or not to save him, was outed against his will, was freed only to travel again fighting monsters and then win a battle, was eventually made to quest with Apollo despite still having lots of healing to do in ToN. So stressful life? Fuck yeah, that doesn't being to cover it.

Genetic factors, obviously nothing here is confirmed so I'm speculating a little bit again, but the common idea in regards to Hades children through the series is that they are "bad". Mental illnesses have been stigmatized for hundreds, if not thousands of years, and often mentally ill people were made out to be weird/bad/etc. It's more than possible there is some sort of genetic factor taking place, also "having a father who was significantly older when he had you". Although I doubt godly genes work the same as mortal ones (trust me I have lots of thoughts on how god genetics/DNA work, but that's not the point right now), I think Hades being the oldest out of all his brothers and having a reputation for having "questionable" children says something... We have no information on Maria's family history at all.

As for schizophrenia often occurring with other mental illnesses and/or neurodivergences: Nico canonically is implied to have either ADHD and/or Autism, and is canonically stated to have PTSD. I think most people would agree that saying Nico has or has had depression isn't a stretch in the slightest.

So canonically we can all agree Nico has severe trauma and coinciding mental health issues/neurodivergences, so out of 4 possible issues I’ve first presented we guaranteeably have two. If I wanted to stretch this a little I would give myself a half point for him being born in the winter and a half point for the aspect of Hades genetics but I won’t do that.

On top of that schizophrenia usually appears during teenage and young adult years in people who receive diagnosis; most people live with mental illness for a few months or a few years in some cases before they're able to receive a diagnosis. Nico being 15 (16 by the end of ToN/shortly following the end of ToN) is about the age that schizophrenia would start to make an appearance. It's also more likely to be found in men, with men also noticing the appearance of schizophrenia appearing early in their lives, and experiencing more negative symptoms in comparison to the higher commonality of affective symptoms in women. That's a really complicated explanation to basically say there's 3 more things that would make Nico having schizophrenia make more sense.

Alright, let’s go back to the list of symptoms I provided:

Hallucinations

Delusions

Disorganized thinking

lack of motivation

slow movement

change in sleep patterns

poor grooming or hygiene

changes in body language and emotions/behavior

less interest in social activities

Once again, some of these are not solely related to schizophrenia and can be the result of other mental health issues, I’m just going to go down the list and add in some moments from the books in which Nico shows some of these traits/behaviors.

Delusions/Hallucinations (more later)

Our best chances for understanding Nico's thought process is in Blood of Olympus where he has a P.O.V... Sometimes Nico's thoughts do derail, or sometimes they get a little confusing, but not always, and when talking to others he is consistent and aware of what he's saying, as well as blunt. Anything "off" about his thought patterns to me just seems like ADHD..

Dietary changes (whether or not you think he has an eating disorder) are behavioral changes (I personally think Nico has AFRID)

Within House of Hades Nico's poor sleep patterns are constantly referenced, and I'll give him a pass on poor hygiene because he's in the middle of a quest but still..

I have extremely complicated feelings on what Will says here, it's possible Nico is an extremely unreliable narrator (unlikely, it seems many people are bothered by him and only maybe a handful aren't), I've also thought at many points this was Rick trying to backtrack some stuff with Nico because he realized he'd made his story a little too harsh for a kids book, it could also be Will's trauma kicking in and that happening... I'm not counting it as full proof about Nico disliking social interactions, but Nico does try to leave even after this conversation and isn't convinced to stay until the last chapter, so maybe there's something to be said about people's dislike of him for being a Hades kid- but I think it's fair to say Nico also dislikes people at least some because he doesn't have interest in trying to befriend anyone either, and is quick to assume all people dislike him (paranoia/low self esteem/and some other possible stuff). There's lots of discussions to be had about this quote and other similar ones, and I don't think a broad brush approach of "Nico good everyone else bad" is accurate it's more, "Nico is good but he fails to try and you have to work on your own mental health everyone won just go to you, and also people dislike Nico for silly reasons and need to get over themselves and make an effort too". (I'm extremely oversimplifying my thoughts and feelings to keep it brief.)

More on delusions and hallucinations:

Now I want to state that lots of schizophrenia symptoms share a lot of commonalities with ADHD and with depression, so although I might include some moments you think are just ADHD/depression I wouldn’t necessarily disagree with you but they could also be schizophrenia or coexisting mental health issues/divergences. I also went through the DSM-5 for schizophrenia (the DSM-5 is just this big book with lists and it’s how doctors diagnose any mental health issue/divergence), I also looked through the DSM-IV (an older book from before DSM-5 which is no longer really used) and the differences between the diagnosis was fairly minimal but they quit categorizing types of schizophrenia and instead rely more on a couple of word descriptions that seem more in line with a spectrum rather than a checkable box.

In order to receive a schizophrenia diagnosis, two (or more) of the following, each present for a significant portion of time during a 1-month period (or less if successfully treated), and at least one of these symptoms must be (1), (2), or (3):

Delusions

Hallucinations

Disorganized speech (frequent derailment or incoherence)

Grossly disorganized or catatonic behavior

Negative symptoms (i.e., diminished emotional expression or avolition).

It’s important to note that only one of these need to be checked off/true if the patient has voices which narrate their actions/behaviors/thoughts or if the person has more than one voice conversing with each other.

Nico deals with auditory hallucinations (2), he believes the voice belongs to Bob, his titan friend he left in Tartarus:

However this isn’t and immediate diagnosis because Bob’s voice doesn’t talk to another voice(s) in Nico’s head, and we don’t know if Nico has voices running commentary on his behaviors/thoughts.

The reason I state we are unaware if Nico has commentary isn’t because Nico hasn’t said anything, but because many people with schizophrenia before their diagnosis believe the narrative voices are just their thoughts and are a normal internal monologue- usually patients don’t realize anything is wrong until the voices start providing commentary on their actions so instead of “washing the dishes now” the voice(s) might say “wash the dishes now, you’re so lazy you can’t do anything, idiot” during a period of psychosis which may help them acknowledge that the voice(s) isn’t the way most people experience internal voice(s). It is very possible Nico is unaware he is experiencing narrative thoughts and simply assumes that his experience is something most people have, but I won’t use this to argue my point because it’s not confirmation of anything.

Returning now to Bob, Nico knows he is hearing Bob’s voice but he believes Bob is calling to him from Tartarus. Now, Nico says the voices are calling to him from Tartarus but there’s no confirmation of this anywhere… What I think is happening is Nico has a guilty conscience. He feels bad for “using” Bob to get out of Tartarus and various other things, so he feels bad that he is still down there. However, we don’t really know if Bob is calling to him or if Bob is able to do that- what I personally think is happening here is Nico’s brain is convincing Nico that Bob needs him because Nico is upset with himself for not helping Bob more, but also because Nico has never “sat still” before without a quest. Nico has also always felt the want to be needed/important...

It very well could be a delusion.

Schizophrenic patients often experience delusions which make them think they are destined for greatness, or that they have some divine/high force calling out to them for help that only they can provide. It’s an extremely common thing in individuals who experience delusions, and is in fact one of the most common delusions experienced. So although Bob could really be calling out to Nico, I don’t think he is, it doesn’t entirely make sense and there’s lots of little things which point to it being not entirely real- like the fact that nobody else knows about it? Or how absolutely sure Nico is that he need to return to Tartarus? It seems like a mixture of PTSD, delusions, and trauma response (returning to the trauma), working against him. I’ll say delusion is very likely (1).

Using these two factors alone there’s sufficient evidence for diagnosis, but let’s keep going just to see.

For disorganized speech (3) this isn’t something Nico seems to struggle with, and even if he did “derailing” could be ADHD or Autism, so I don’t think this symptom pertains to him.

Changes in behavior (4), seem to all be explainable via depression and/or PTSD- he has begun to express emotion again in Tower of Nero upon learning of Jason’s death he is said to be upset by Will and he walks off to be alone, seems like depression to me. Emotional/Behavior changes from schizophrenia tend to relate more to bipolar disorder rather than a depressive disorder, so I would say if Nico has schizophrenia he probably doesn’t have emotional or behavioral changes from it. If he did he might have some catatonic behavior, but this seems to be clearing up some in Tower of Nero so I’m not super sure on that, maybe during bad periods of psychosis behavioral changes occur, but I would lean more towards this isn’t a symptom Nico personally deals with. Negative symptoms (5) tie into this same idea, it’s possible it’s schizophrenia, but it’s more likely PTSD or depression at work.

So why do I care so much about the possibility of Nico being schizophrenic?

I feel like canonically/fanonically making Nico schizophrenic does a few things, firstly schizophrenic rep in media is extremely extremely awful- can you think off the top of your head of a schizophrenic character who isn't from a horror film/a murder/a villain in their own story? Maybe, but personally I can only think of one which is Charlie from Perks of Being a Wallflower- and even then? That's not canon, it's only implied- and it might not even be true

Schizophrenic media representation always paints schizophrenic people as bad, scary, and evil, and although the horror genre is extremely well known for being super ableist, transphobic, racist, homophobic, and misogynistic (just the final cherry on top) having one of the first- if not the first openly confirmed schizophrenic characters in children's media not only be someone who has lots of character development, and isn't a stereotype, but also be someone people have grown up with, cared for, and sympathized with- would be extremely monumental.

People with schizophrenia and other related disorders aren't something to be scared of or to think of as bad, and often times they're more bothered by whatever they're experiencing than you are.

I don't have schizophrenia or schizoaffective disorder or anything like that, but I have various undiagnosed mental health issues which often lead to me questioning reality, or having to set aside time to convince myself that no there isn't a man living in my wall... Having a character have to question those things, work through those feelings, and learn to trust themselves and care for themselves even with those difficulties would be really great to see in media, not just for people with schizophrenia but also for people with similar/related disorders who might share symptoms see parts of their own struggles in a good, educative way.

I have to finish this in two parts because tumblr keeps breaking because there's too many words in my post lmao (2nd part here)

#nico di angelo #pjo #hoo #toa #percy jackson #will solace #solangelo

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axiomsofice · 3 years ago

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Leafs: New Additions

Welcome back to another year in Leaf Land, as always at a most critical nexus. There’s a lot of negativity, and as usual some of its well earned, and some of its too far. Within all that, it’s important to acknowledge the progress that this group has made, free from the fervid luster of hope offered early in the Matthews era.

The novelty of the Canadian Division, and the 4 separate leagues that took part in the 2021 season did cap the amount this team could change our minds, but having a strong and consistent regular season and finishing top 10 in goals against, was a huge development, and continuing those results to a full 82 game schedule is still an important step. In general, this fan base took the first sign of positivity and grew championship expectations, to the point where the past 2 or 3 seasons many have been saying “there’s nothing to prove until the playoffs”, and even to this point that simply isn’t true.

Mrazek

After spending a large part of the past 2 seasons desperately searching for depth and stability in the sport’s most important position, acquiring Mrazek is certainly the most important move of the offseason. He’s probably in a cluster of mid tier starters, sometimes called a tandem starter or 1B, similar to Frederick Andersen, the fact that he’s younger and cheaper than Andersen is also a plus. He’s coming off some strong seasons behind a very good Carolina team, meaning he’s been a focal point for a successful team already, although he was not the starter in each of the Hurricanes’ past 2 postseason runs. He’s started 40 games in a season twice, meaning he’ll get at most 120 games in over the course of his 3 year deal. He’s had up and down seasons, but has shown flashes of strong play. He has a flare for the dramatic, some style to his play, and entering his age 29 season should be able to deliver a strong segment of his career. The best case scenario, or perhaps a reasonable comp would be similar to what Halak has been able to bring in his 30’s, which is starter level of play over 35-45 games a season, which does fit well with the expectations on Jack Campbell to play in 40-50 games. Ultimately the hope is that Jack can really run with the starter role, but Mrazek will be keeping the level of play in net high.

Menell

Menell takes the mantle as this year’s KHL import on the blueline, a staple that’s seen Zaitsev, Ozighanov, and Lethonen pass through to varying degrees of success in recent years. Menell, unlike the others, offers a stronger resume on the smaller ice surface, putting in several strong AHL seasons with the Iowa Wild before his most recent all-star season in Russia. Similar to Lethonen, he is a strong offensive player and could figure into a role on the power play. At this point he’s done everything he can besides earn some playing time at the top level, and provides an interesting depth option to the blueline.

Dahlstrom

It can be difficult for low-scoring defensive players to stand out, and that might be the case for Dahlstrom. The 26 year old Swede has 2 years experience in the SHL, followed by 4 increasingly strong stints in the AHL, with a 35+ game run on the porous 18-19 Chicago team and 10+ games with the Jets the following year. He did eventually earn an Assistant Captain role on Chicago’s AHL affiliate. Despite all that, he’s only played 35 games or so the last 2 years, as he probably got squeezed as a fringe player throughout the first covid season. He certainly is qualified to fill in a depth role, although surely in a different style than Menell. Together they represent good reinforcements with potential upside should injuries occur. He’s big, skates well enough for his size, has some passing abilities.

Kase

Another player who hasn’t played all that much recently, Kase has fought a lot of tough injuries over the recent years. Kase is still only 25, but it was all the way back in 17-18 that he scored 29 goals as a member of the Ducks. He has posted really strong possession and shot metrics throughout his career, and plays a very rambunctious and tenacious style. Hopefully he can stay healthy and at least have a chance to continue his strong play, but with concussions we can only know so much. A one year deal means there isn’t any long term risk, and best case Kase provides some of the “all terrain” capabilities that Barclay Goodrow brought to the Lighting the past couple seasons.

Ritchie

Ritchie is a big power forward, who can manage to shovel in 10-20 goals a year. Although his career high comes from his time in Anaheim, it’s reasonable to expect he could have a career season over the 2 years of his contract. He does bring certain qualities lacking from the forward group at this point and could fit well somewhere in the top 6. Even with Hyman in the lineup, when Simmonds missed time last year there was a noticeable lack of net front presence, which Ritchie should help satisfy. Personally, I’ve spent a lot of time being thankful the Leafs took Nylander instead of Ritchie in their draft year, but Ritchie is still young at 25 and is a quality add to the forward group. He might take an excessive amount of penalties, but that could also “even out” and earn the Leafs a few more calls as well.

Kampf

As we get to our 6th addition, a pattern is clear, young free agents (mid to late 20s) who should have more in the tank than the older additions of last season, and perhaps with their best seasons in front of them. That is certainly the case with Kampf, who has already proven to be an effective bottom 6 defensive centre in the NHL. He is in crazy good shape and is good at faceoffs. In his introductory presser Dubas mentioned he’s been on the Leafs’ radar for a while, and that they saw more offensive upside to his game. He certainly has a similar style of play to Danault, helping break cycles in the defensive zone and supporting transition well up ice, and could really help unlock stronger play from the 3rd or 4th line. In particular I think he would pair really well with a strong defensive winger who can carry the puck through the neutral zone, Ilya Mikheyev, and/or David Kase.

Bunting

Bunting “came out of nowhere” to score 10 goals in 20 games for the Coyotes last season, and we should not be expecting 40 goals next year. That being said, signing him to 2 years at only $950,000 is a great deal. For the brief time Jared McCaan was a Leafs I was excited about adding a complimentary top 6 player who could shoot well to pair with Marner and Matthews. Bunting definitely has the chance to live up to that. It’s obviously not at Matthews’ level, but Bunting can score from the high to mid slot. He’s speedy enough to pressure through the neutral zone and off the rush, and has some skill in making moves to beat defenders and goaltenders. He isn’t afraid to get to the dirty areas and had a few goals tipping in shots from the point. He is also feisty, gets under opponents’ skin and hustles like his job depends on it. He said in his introductory interview that he had spent long enough in the minors that when he finally got called up last season he played with nothing to lose, and compared his style of play to Marchand. Although that is a lot of lofty rhetoric, it’s easy to see how this could be a huge win for the franchise. If he proves to be 4th line contributor it’s a good deal, but there’s good reason to be excited beyond that. It might be a bit off topic to say I think that it’s important that Matthews and Marner’s liberate has a good enough shot to capitalize on the opportunity they will have as well as the tenacity Hyman brought so effectively, and Bunting has the tools to do it.

Gabriel

Gabriel is a fighter with social media presence, and especially for a pro hockey player, tries to be inclusive. I could see him being called up and deployed circumstantially. Although Simmonds and Ritchie have both thrown their share of fists, having a DH of sorts might be useful? Regardless, as a cultural focal point of both hockey and Canada the Leafs have the opportunity and responsibility to do their part in changing our culture for the better, and considering the league minimum cap hit this signing represents checks of few different boxes in terms of “intangibles”.

Semyonov

Semyonov has played parts of 5 seasons in the KHL, including a couple deep postseason runs as a middle 6 forward and eventually became an Assistant Captain. At 26, there doesn’t seem like a great chance he’ll be a factor at the NHL level, although he should get a fair shake at training camp. It is more likely he fits in as a veteran presence on a Marlies team that will feature a lot of Russian players, from Amirov, SDA, Gogolev and Abramov. The Marlies will look to be a lot stronger this year and those 5 forwards will look to be a big part of that. He gets to the net and most of his goals will be from rebounds and scrambles in front. He has some good puck skills, which will be shown off with some fancy passes. He’s big and fast enough to have some effect on the forecheck.

Way Too Early Lines

Bunting Matthews Marner Kerfoot Tavares Nylander Mikheyev Kampf Kase Ritchie Spezza Simmonds Engvall Brooks

Reilly Brodie Muzzin Holl Sandin Dermott Liljegren

Campbell Mrazek Hutchinson

Notes on fringe players

Mikheyev has been taking some heat recently. He clearly had trouble converting chances into goals and his wrist injury could have been a huge factor in losing confidence. He is good defensively, and is a strong enough skater that he’s able to transition through the neutral zone really well. Despite being a powerful skater he does seem to look a bit like an old man at times. It’s easy to see how he could be similar to former Leaf Michael Grabner, in that whether he is converting on breakaways or not could fluctuate his goal totals enough to drastically change opinions year to year (both are strong on the pk as well).

Engvall shows flashes of brilliance in a lot of ways. Speed and size to defend well, soft hands and really good passes, scoring touch, but somehow looks like he has trouble putting it all together. Dubas and Keefe have had him for a long time, and with one year left on his deal it might be his best chance at becoming an NHL regular.

Brooks will have to replicate his strong play from last year. He looked really strong alongside Spezza, where he was able to use his hockey sense and passing skills to his advantage. It is not a given that he’ll be able to, but he’s continued to show signs of growth so maybe he can continue to surpass expectations with more opportunities.

Liljegren has all the physical tools to be a good NHL defender, skates and passes well enough to beat forechecks, physical enough to play the body, but he’s looked a bit lost at times. I think with strength and experience we’ll see him settle into a regular role, and it’s not an indictment that he hasn’t got there yet, even if he spends most of his time in the AHL again this year. It might be a bit much to rely on a Sandin-Liljegren pairing when everyone is available, but I would love to see him get a chance alongside Muzzin at some point.

#Toronto Maple Leafs

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somedayonbroadway · 4 years ago

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aaa hii! i was wondering if you could do the hercules au, please? thank youuu 💕

Hello, friends! This is an AU based off of @racetrackhigg original Mood Boards that you can find right here!

Hercules AU

Characters

Spot Conlon — Hercules

Racetrack Higgins — Megara

Jack Kelly — Phil

William Snyder — Hades

Morris Delancey and Oscar Delancey — Pain and Panic

Also, DeMarius Copes is all of the Muses. He just is.

So…

We are basing this off of the Disney rendition of Hercules, for the most part, even though their telling of this tale is very much modified for younger viewers. I mean, who are they kidding? The Greek Gods aren’t the loving, family friendly types that Disney tried to trick us into thinking they were when we were children, but it’s fine. We’re gonna roll with this, maybe change a little bit of it. And it is going to take place in modern day (excluding quarantine, because in fantasy worlds, worldwide quarantines don’t exist) because, why the heck not?

Back when the world was new, the planet earth was down on its luck. Chaos reigned and earthquakes and volcanoes ran amok. But then along came Zeus.

Ya’ll know the song.

There’s a party on Olympus, one of great importance. A son has been born to Zeus and Hera. A son they’ve named Hercules. Every single God shows up to celebrate the child’s birth and congratulate the ruling couple of Olympus who is adored by all but one; Zeus’s brother Hades.

Despite typically never leaving his kingdom, Hades has made a special exception on this joyous occasion to meet his new nephew, a new golden boy who is showered in gold and glitter already, although only having been born the day before. Zeus had even fashioned the child his very own flying horse, which he calls a Pegasus. Everyone adores the child and Hades dismisses him, looking disgusted at his very existence.

See, Hades knew something that the other gods didn’t. Hades just so happens to be great friends with the fates. He had a meeting with them prior to this celebration he had never intended on going to. The sisters explained to him that the great plan he’d been wielding could be successful, that one day the planets would align, making way for his rule over Olympus and then Earth. There was only one problem.

Hercules.

That fateful day when those planets aligned would be eighteen years from that very night. Hercules’s eighteenth birthday. And on that day, should Hercules fight, Hercules would win.

Hades saw only one solution. If there was no Hercules, there was no fight.

On Olympus, Hades has all eyes on, giving his two right hand men the opportunity to hide on the great mountain and wait out until nightfall where they would steal the child and force him to drink a potion that would make him mortal.

That night, chaos erupts among the Gods and Zeus cries, sending a storm down onto Earth as Hades men carry out his plan, taking the baby down to the land below and forcing the potion down his throat, knowing that he must drink every last drop to become truly mortal so that they can kill him.

Unfortunately for them, a young couple comes running when they hear a baby cry. The two henchmen drop the potion before the child can finish it and shapeshift into snakes before going to bite the kid and kill him. Having not drunk the whole potion, however, Hercules held onto the strength he’d been born with and was able to protect himself from the two monsters, sending them slithering back to their master.

He then gets taken in by the couple who’d been praying for a baby that they were unable to have. They claim him as their own and name him Sean. Sean Conlon.

The occupants of Mt. Olympus are crushed at the news of their prince becoming mortal. Still, they carried on, watching as their Hercules was raised from afar in a city that never slept, one he grew up to adore. Brooklyn, New York.

Growing up for young Sean, however, was anything but easy. With a physical strength he couldn’t begin to understand or control, he seemed to make a mess anywhere he went. People were wary of him. Kids his own age didn’t like him and he so he didn’t like them. He closed himself off from the world and hid himself away, only entrusting his parents with the fear that he didn’t belong there, that he was too different. It was beginning to get to the point that people were truly frightened of him and his abilities.

Sean didn’t have any friends. He didn’t have a phone. He didn’t need one. He didn’t have anyone to talk to. Girls would sometimes get flustered when they saw him because of the muscles he seemed to get from nowhere, but the second they realized he was the freak he was, they ran the other way. Sean didn’t mind. He could never look at the girls the way the first looked at him.

Eventually, while accompanying his father downtown, he destroys an entire building. He doesn’t understand what’s wrong with him. So his parents finally came clean. They admit to him for the first time how they found him, how he was all alone and already had these abilities that they didn’t understand. He asks them why they never told him and they don’t have an answer. They can only offer him a small necklace that had been around his neck when they’d stumbled upon him, one written in Ancient Greek. One that Sean can read, having never read Greek in his life.

It says Hercules.

Running off, feeling scared and alone and so confused, Sean finds himself wandering into the woods where he is met by a man wearing a white suit with a golden tie. The man claims to be Zeus, his father.

Initially laughing at this, Sean tries to leave, but is pulled back by an invisible force as Zeus takes him in, studying his face for the first time in nearly eighteen years. He looks happy to see him and tells Sean what happened, how he had been stolen from his home and in order to return, needed to prove himself to the gods. Sean is still a bit skeptical until Zeus whistles for a horse to come out of the shadows.

It isn’t until Sean sees Pegasus that he thinks there might be some truth to this man’s story. All his life he’d been obsessed with what he’d thought was a mythical creature. He’d made drawings of it, studied their mythology, had even learned to ride horses when he was young.

Pegasus missed him.

While reuniting with his old friend, Zeus tells Sean of a man he needs to meet in order to ensure his return to Olympus, where he belongs. He described the man as the son of a demigod, one who trains heroes and teaches them how to hone their skills and use them for the greater good. So Sean takes Pegasus up into the air, going to seek out this man, Jack Kelly.

When he manages to find the man’s apartment with Zeus’s help, he lands Pegasus down on the roof and knocks on the man’s apartment door.

The man is less than willing to open it up for him.

Jack tells him to go away, obviously not much of a people person. But Sean persists, finally calling out that he needs help and that Jack was the only one who’d be able to do such a thing.

Recognizing this desperate plea, Jack reluctantly opens up the door, asking what Sean wanted. To Sean’s surprise, the man is very young, probably only five years older than himself. When Sean admits he needs someone to teach him how to be a hero, Jack tells him that he’s closed for business and would never reopen.

That’s when Sean begs him for help, claiming to be the son of Zeus. He explains that he never fit in on Earth and needs Jack’s help to make it to Olympus. Jack has the same reaction Sean had to the news. He laughs, not believing it. Not until he hears lightning crackle outside.

With no other choice than to believe him, Jack tells Sean that he’s not the first kid that had come knocking on his door. Jack explains, while painting a picture of a girl that lives in the apartment across from him that he’s fallen madly in love with despite never having spoken to her, that his father assigned him with the task of training new heroes and keeping them safe on their quests and adventures, something Jack loathed greatly as he wished to have his own life and go on adventures. However, after one hero in training had been reckless and stupid, a demigod, son of Ares, he’d died, making his father angry.

Jack had been cursed after that day. He can’t die. He can’t age. Most people would consider immortality a blessing, but Jack explains that it’s not a blessing when he’s been trapped in New York City, unable to leave as there were invisible barriers specially catered to keep him inside. He’d always dreamed of running away and seeing the world, and it was as though that dream was being dangled right in front of him, just out of his reach. He’d been stuck in an endless cycle of nothingness for years and he didn’t want it to get worse. But Sean makes Jack a deal. If he were to train him, he’d ask his father to lift Jack’s curse and allow him to continue aging and growing like normal while also being able to see the world.

So Jack agrees, still skeptical, but slightly hopeful. He tells Sean that they would begin the next night in the woods where Sean had met Zeus and he better not screw this up for either of them.

To Jack’s surprise, Sean is a much better hero than he’d originally thought. He admires the boy’s strength and endurance and constantly tries to push Sean to his limits to see how much he can take. He never found a breaking point. He teaches Sean how to use a sword as well as a gun, he trains him mentally and physically for every situation he can. He explains that his own strong suit is knife throwing and archery. Sean begins to look up to Jack and treat him more as a friend than anything else. He likes Jack. Jack is the first person who didn’t go running the second he’d walked into a room.

So after weeks of training and testing, Jack tells Sean it’s time for the real deal. They’re gonna go see what Sean can do in the real world to help real people. Sean asks how they’re gonna do that and Jack replies with “Have you eva’ walked around New York?”

They begin to explore, trying to find any kind of trouble they can until they stumble onto an alley where a young man, about Sean’s age, is struggling to get away from an older guy who’s literally pinning the kid to the wall. Jack tries to help Sean come up with some kind of plan before Sean just runs off, leading Jack to resign himself to the fact that he’s doomed and his curse will never be lifted.

Sean goes in and demands the man get off only to find that when the man turns around, he’s got three eyes and a snake's tongue. Sean pulls out a knife only for the kid to tell him that he can handle himself, calling Sean “Wonder Boy” before the monster in front of him throws him to the ground and punches Sean in the stomach, sending him flying back into a wall. Jack can only watch from afar, not allowed to help any hero in his battle.

The monster turns back to the boy who tries to scramble away. It is clear to Sean that the monster is trying to take advantage of the kid sexually. So he steps back up, plunging his knife into the monster’s back before picking him up and throwing him into the opposite wall. He then scoops the boy up into his arms and rushes him over to Jack.

Jack immediately tries to check the kid over to make sure he’s okay, but the boy just seems mildly annoyed, making sarcastic comments about how The Incredible Hulk over there just saved a damsel in distress while he watches Sean fight the monster with the hell of Pegasus who helps him kill the thing.

Realizing that this other boy was genuinely concerned for him, the blond kid softens just a little as Sean walks back over to him. He introduces himself as Antonio, or Race as his friends call him. At least they would, if he had any. He calls Sean a variety of flirtatious names as he thanks him, including “Spot” because of Sean’s freckles. Spot introduces himself as Sean Conlon, or Hercules as he’d been named by his godly father. He offers Race a ride to anywhere he wants to go on Pegasus, but Race refuses, admitting that he’s terrified of heights and is a big boy that can take care of himself, but still thanks Spot for coming to his rescue.

Sean falls a little bit for him much too quickly and much too easily before Race gives him a wink and a wave and walks off, seemingly fine.

Jack then tells Sean how stupid he is before leading him off further into the night and forcing Sean to listen to him even though the boy’s mind clearly kept drifting off to the mysterious stranger he’d just met.

Meanwhile, Race is off to the woods where he is met by two young men he refers to as Morris and Oscar and Hades himself, who is wearing a grey suit and a blood red tie. Morris and Oscar force Race to bow to the god after the boy initially doesn’t. Race fights all the way until Hades snaps his fingers and forces him to submit, having full control of the boy’s body anytime he wants it.

The king of the underworld asks Race why he doesn’t have the monster that he had requested an audience with by his side and Race explains that the monster made him an offer he had to refuse. Hades takes the boy by the chin. He loves to manhandle Race whenever he can, reveling in the fact that the kid would fight back against his hold only to have nowhere else to go. He tells Race that instead of removing two years from his sentence, he’ll be adding two on. In attempts to save himself, the kid blames the stranger who’d saved him, calling him Hercules.

Morris and Oscar, the shapeshifters originally responsible for the murder of Hercules, pale at this as their master burns with rage. Hades demands to know what happened after his servants lied to him only to turn to Race and tell him that he still had use for him. Race rolls his eyes, still defiant after nearly three years. Still, he has no choice but to do as he’s told.

A couple of days after rescuing Race from the ally, Spot and Jack are once again exploring the city, trying to find more trial runs for Sean, who Jack has taken to calling “Spot” to tease him. Spot’s doing rather well, especially considering he hadn’t died yet. So Jack is ready to start getting him attention before they hear a commotion in front of them.

Race rushes towards them, near in hysterics. He is relieved at the sight of Spot and begins begging him for help, stating that two little kids got trapped under a collapsed overpass. Without even waiting for Jack’s help, he whistles for Pegasus who reveals himself to the world in broad daylight and Race hesitates, still terrified of heights, but Spot grabs him and puts him on the back of the flying horse, asking him where to go. Race clings to him as he screams out street names.

Jack is understandably annoyed at being left behind and is forced to run in order to meet them at their destination.

Meanwhile, Spot lands Pegasus and Race crumbles to the ground, nearly vomiting as his entire body is trembling from being up so high.

Spot manages to get two small children to safety and does not stop them as they run off, unbeknownst to him, right to Hades.

Race crawls over to a nearby wall to support himself as he catches his breath and silently prays for Spot to get out of there while he still can.

A crowd gathers nearby, applauding Spot as they’ve just witnessed his heroism. Jack runs up to find Spot unsure of what to do. Before Jack can help him a hiss falls over the crowd. He pales before trying to scream at Spot to get out of the way, but the minute he reaches for Spot’s sword, his hand is burned. He’s not allowed to help.

So Spot grabs his own sword, turning around to find a monster rising from the fallen overpass. Jack recognizes it as a Hydra. Spot just starts swinging at it. After cutting off one head, he believes the fight to be over only for the thing to grow back with two other heads at its sides.

Race can do nothing but watch as Spot is nearly beaten and eaten alive by this monster he’d lured him to. He is horrified at himself, finding that he actually likes Spot. The guy is sweet and loyal, but Race knows he can’t fall for him. He knows he can’t.

Spot continues cutting the Hydra’s heads, even as Jack yells at him to stop.

Hades is watching from afar with a grin on his face. He is ready for the Hydra to kill the only thing standing between him and his eternal rule, but Spot manages to burn the monster alive, effectively killing it.

Race is relieved at that and barely manages to hide a smile as he saunters back up to Hades who is furious at the turn of events.

After this, Spot is made famous throughout the world, having been on camera whilst fighting the Hydra. He is asked for interviews, he’s given money, he’s made a hero in the eyes of the public.

This goes on for months.

Spot revels in the light of being the main attraction after being an outcast for so long. Jack is annoyed with him, but sticks by his side as his own life depends on it. Eventually, Jack just starts to roll along with it all as it becomes more and more stressful for Spot to keep up with his own fame as he continues his training and continues fighting monsters. It becomes abundantly clear to Jack how protective he’s becoming over the younger boy and he doesn’t like it, so he gets harder on Spot and pushes him further, only tiring Spot out faster.

Race watches every minute of it, finding himself enthralled by the man who’d saved him all those nights ago.

Hades, however, is not happy in the least. His two servants have given up and his slave is falling for the boy who would be his undoing. Race teases him smugly, telling him that he might as well accept defeat. This just makes the god even more angry. So Hades orders Race to find him a weakness. Race laughs at him.

So Hades reminds him why he’s there in the first place. He retells the boy the story of a child, a merely fourteen years old runaway who’d fallen in love with another, three years older than him. When the elder boy had tried to prove himself to the gods, he’d gotten fatally wounded and Hades had come to collect him. Unable to cope with the loss of his love, the child who knew nothing about the gods or love, for that matter, begged and pleaded for the god of death to take him instead. The god accepted, letting the not-so-heroic-hero live in exchange for the other boy’s soul for the next hundred years. Finding out what the young child had done, the resurrected hero ran off, finding another to worship the ground he walked on while the boy who’d given everything to save him rotten in possession of Hades, the cruelest god there was.

Race insists that he remembers and that he’d learned his lesson and would not be making the same mistake twice. So Hades hands Race a cellphone with a picture of Spot on it and explains to him as though he were a child that all he needed was to know what Spot’s weakness was. Race does not respond. So Hades leans in close to his ear and promises Race the one thing he craved above all else in exchange for this simple task.

His freedom.

Race drops the phone at the words, having never expected to hear them outloud. So he does as he’s told.

Back with Spot and Jack, Jack is trying to work out Spot’s schedule while Spot wallows alone in his mansion after speaking to his father in the forest again. His father tells him that he has not yet proved himself worthy and must still remain on earth.

Breaking into the giant house, Race finds Spot who is relieved to see him after so long. He asks Spot if he wants to get out of here. Spot is hesitant, because he’s supposed to meet with Jack for training, but Race convinces him to take a night off and run away with him.

And Spot can’t say no.

Exploring the city, Race flirts with Spot and Spot is the perfect gentleman, only making life so much harder for Race who wishes that this boy could’ve just been a jerk who deserved all of this. Spot buys him flowers and makes him laugh and makes him feel free for the first time in years.

While they’re walking, Race accidentally trips, falling right into Spot’s arms. Spot carries him to a bench to inspect Race’s ankle even though the other boy insists that he’s fine. He explains that he has weak ankles and flirtatiously inquires if Spot has any to which Spot replies he doesn’t think he does and he scoops Racer up again, putting him back on his feet to make sure Race is okay. They dance beneath the stars for a long moment before Jack flies overhead on Pegasus and jumps down in between them.

He screams at Spot and tells him he’ll be training like hell for the next week and he warns Race to stay away, feeling bad about it later as there’s something in Race’s eyes that tells him this was not the whole story.

Spot gives Race a kiss goodnight and leaves and Jack goes to follow him before feeling too guilty and turning back to apologize. And he accidentally hears a conversation he was not meant to hear.

When Race is alone, he has a sinking feeling in his chest and feels as though he’s floating on air all at once. He knows he has fallen for this new hero and he stares at the flowers Spot gave him before he is forced to stand by the air around him and he looks up to find his master waiting in front of him.

Race tells the god that he quits, that he won’t keep doing this. Hades only laughs and cruelly reminds the boy that he owns his mind, soul and body and Race has no choice in the matter. The boy tried to explain that Spot doesn’t have any weaknesses. He says it proudly, blushing as he twirls the flowers around in his hand.

That’s when it hits Hades. He smugly tells Race that he is sorely mistaken and snaps his finger, vanishing right along with the boy.

Having only heard a small piece of the conversation, Jack rushes to warn Spot who calls him a liar and a jealous, ungrateful loser who will never be able to talk to the girl that he’s in love with. Hurt by this, Jack leaves, knowing he’s not wanted or needed anymore. It shouldn’t matter to him what happened next.

Spot goes outside to train, trying to blow off some steam, knowing he needs to apologize to Jack but not fully knowing how to.

There’s a man waiting outside. One that Spot recognizes.

The man’s name is William Snyder, a business man who’d been around town for the past couple of months. Spot had no idea that Snyder was a god, just like him. Hades, to be clear.

Hades begins talking to Spot about his heroism and strength and says he wants to offer him a deal. Spot initially refuses, trying to walk away only for Hades to reveal that he has leverage. With a snap of his fingers, a stunned and scared looking Race appears right in front of him. Race tries to run to him, trying to tell him not to listen to this man, but Hades waves his hand and Race goes silent, chains wrapping around his body and mouth immediately, rendering him helpless.

Hades then snaps Race to him and manhandles him, trying to enrage Spot even more. He tells Spot that if he doesn’t want to hear the deal, he’ll just take Race and keep him like that forever, claiming he likes Race in chains better than anything else. So Spot agrees to hear Hades out, all the while asking him to let Race go.

Hades grins and tells Spot to consider giving up his strength for a day, the next day, in order to save Race. Spot asks if people are going to get hurt in which Snyder simply smiles. So Spot asks that Race be left out of it. Hades gives his word that no harm will come to Race should Spot accept.

So Spot accepts, shaking the gods hand to finalize it and falling to his knees as his strength is drained from him.

For a moment, Race is left in chains as Hades has his fun knocking around the mighty Hercules. But Spot croaks out that he has to let the boy go, to which the god laughs. He complies, saying to Race that a deal was a deal and that he was now free of his sentence before he draws Race to him and gloats to Spot about what a wonderful little actor the boy was.

Race struggles against him, trying to get away and explain, but Spot just walks away, heartbroken.

Though his strength is gone, Spot still feels obligated to fight against whatever attack was headed for them. He goes on his own to the center of the city where the titans have begun to roam free after Hades released them. Though the crowd cheers at his arrival it is quickly made apparent that he is no match for these monsters and he will not win this fight.

After trying and failing to stop Spot from fighting, Race rushes off to find Pegasus. His legs are already shaking in fear just looking at the thing that had been bound by Hades before. He releases it and Pegasus senses that something is wrong, so he allows Race to climb onto his back. Race screams when they take to the air.

Finding Jack wandering around, oblivious to the takeover happening behind him, Race begs him for help. Jack initially refuses, revealing to the boy that he knew who Race worked for. Race quickly explains the situation to Jack and Jack takes the reins, flying out to find a passed out Spot in the middle of the chaos. He ignores the burning of his arms and scoops Spot up, flying him to safety so Race can plead with him to wake up.

When Spot does eventually wake up, he scrambles away from Race only for Jack to tell him that this wasn’t Race's fault and he still needed to fight. They couldn’t let Hades win. So Spot goes out to fight again only to get knocked down in front of a car speeding to get away. Race panics and rushes to push him out of the way, taking the hit instead nearly getting stomped on by the titan Before Spot screams and rushes to his rescue, catching the Titan’s foot before it can kill Race.

Jack rushes in to get Race out of the danger and Race lets him, curling into him in pain.

Not understanding what happened, Spot rushes to the boy he quite possibly loves who explains to him that Hades promised he wouldn’t get hurt and he had. The deal had been broken.

Hesitant to leave Race, Spot looks to Jack for help. Jack promises to stay with Race while Spot rushes off and fights.

That’s when Race starts crying. It’s the first time he shows weakness in front of Jack and Jack can’t help but cry along with him, trying to promise him that everything’s gonna be okay even though they both know it won’t. As he starts coughing up blood, Race begs Jack not to let him die alone and Jack holds his hand and pets his hair back, promising him that he’d be right there the whole time.

Race is scared when he dies. His cries about not being able to breathe and can’t move without being in pain. It’s the most heartbreaking thing Jack had ever witnessed. When Race takes his last breath, Jack presses a kiss to his forehead and closes the boy's eyes for him, hugging him to his chest and telling him how sorry he was.

Flying up to Olympus with Pegasus, Spot frees the gods who are being held captive by the Titans and helps them trap the monsters once again before flying after Hades who tries to get away. It’s only when Spot remembers Race that he stops, rushing back down to earth where he finds Jack crying over Race’s body.

So Spot does what he has to do, even as Jack begs him to come back. He flies down to the underworld (how he knows where to go? I don’t know… but he does. Maybe he walked a long way, around the back. That ain’t easy walkin’, Jack. It ain’t for the sensitive of souls— oh wait…) and demands that Hades tell him where Race’s soul is.

Still smug and arrogant as ever, Hades reveals Race’s soul in the River Styx and tells Spot that he is more than willing to let Spot dive down for him. It’s only after Spot does so that Hades calls after him any mortal to enter the river will die.

Spot swims down for Race’s lifeless soul. It breaks his heart to see the boy so lifeless. As he reaches for him, a power surges through his body, making it easier to move and breathe. He pulls Race to him and holds him in his arms, stepping out of that river as a god with the love of his life in his arms. When Hades goes to stop him, Spot punches him down and walks out with Race’s souls, climbing onto Pegasus again and flying back to New York, where Jack still sat with an unmoving Race on the sidewalk. Everyone else was so busy with their own concerns, no one paid them a second glance.

Returning his soul to his body, Spot waits patiently and Jack watches with so much hope in his eyes it hurts. But then there’s a glorious sound of someone taking in a gulp of air.

Race opens his eyes.

He launches himself at Spot who holds him tightly in response and Jack laughs in relief at the sight, letting Race hug him too before Spot confesses he has to go. Race refuses to let him go so Spot takes him along, flying back up to Olympus where he is greeted as a god and Race is left standing awkwardly all alone at the gates, proud of the other boy, but sad that he may never see him again.

But Spot kneels before his father, asking to be blessed with mortality so that he can live his life with Race and Jack. He asks that his father lift Jack’s curse and allow them to live in peace because he finally found where he belonged.

Zeus, although a bit sad, agrees, and sends Spot and Race back to Earth where they meet Jack and take him to the border of New York to show him he is no longer cursed.

Race and Spot and Jack are friends for the rest of their lives. Spot reconnects with his adoptive parents. Race and Spot get married. Jack finally meets the girl he’d fallen for and marries her.

And they all live happily ever after.

Thanks for reading!

For more Mood Boards and AUs, click here!

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reeesea · 4 years ago

Text

Something Sweet: Part Two

~sweet lotus~

one ~ two ~ three ~ four ~ five ~ six ~ seven ~ eight ~ nine

pairing: minsung, jisung/minho

warning: mentions of alcohol I guess...

words: 5k ish

summary: Jisung gets side tracked and ends up following Minho into a host club/bar. That's it really :)

a/n: I’m cross posting this on ao3 but don't know how links work so I hope you enjoy if you do happen to stumble upon this. <3

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Jisung’s been busy. Well, kind of.

Jisung, along with the other two sleep deprived zombies that make up 3racha, have once again barricaded themselves in their shared apartment. The trio has been working nonstop to prepare for their next performance. Their recently hired manager, Sana, had notified them that the venue that they were playing was actually twice as large as their last. The boys had been trying to flesh out a few new songs/covers to play and hopefully win over the crowd.

Busy wouldn’t really describe the boys. Yes, they were working hard producing more and more, but the lulls of writer’s block and exhaustion would set in eventually. Each time would leave them to fend for themselves by staring mindlessly at the ceiling, or collapsing into an unplanned 4 hour nap, or just plain gorging themselves on the various carry outs of the day.

Changbin, who surprisingly was able to work remotely for his producing job at JJP Ent., was juggling his work for them and his work for 3racha. Bin would sneak out of his studio/bedroom whenever the lull in creativity set in, or the anticipation of their Friday night show started creeping up on him. Almost every time this led to Chan or Jisung playing some of what they were working on and then the realization that the third rapper had joined them, neglecting his paid work, would set in commencing the throwing of shoes and a chorus of animated yells from all parties to arise. One way or another, always returning a reluctant Changbin back to his, as Jisung put it, “big boy work” and the other two back to their respective laptops and keyboards.

Chan was probably the most focused of the three. His ability to juggle multiple projects at the same time was practically god-like and occasionally left the other two producers completely clueless as to which project he was actually working on. When the exhaustion had finally caught up with him, Chan could be found by the other boys asleep sitting in front of his laptop. Changbin and Jisung had worked out a little system to keep the older in check, taking turns moving an unconscious Bang Chan to the couch and making sure he had eaten before returning to their own assignments. The leader would wake up a few hours later feeling confused, but thankful for the other two's efforts to keep him on his feet.

Jisung, the ever all-rounder of the group, usually was the one busy writing, composing, producing, and doing anything he could get his hands on. But this time, the main reason Jisung never quite felt busy was because no matter how hard he tried, sometimes he just couldn't quite find the words for his verses. The new addition to their set list actually didn't take much time to make, production wise, but writing his verse always turns out to be a challenge when the writer’s block sets in. Even with days straight of thinking about what he wanted to say on his part, no progress meant no work had been done, which to Jisung meant he had not been busy. It was a slippery slope that all of them had experienced before, but this time Jisung’s descent down that slope came in the form of trashing pages of lyrics and stanzas immediately after spending hours on them, and distracting himself in piles of blankets while scrolling forums, SNS, and internet videos for inspiration. From which the cycle continued. The concept of just freestyling it completely on Friday was starting to sound better and better.

Sana would occasionally come by (daily? None of them really knew what day it was, only that it wasn’t Friday yet), opening up the black-out curtains that lined the floor to ceiling windows of the apartment, always followed by at least one audible groan from one of the members. During one of the many occasions of Jisung staring blankly at the ceiling in the dark, Sana had entered the apartment and practically tripped over Jisung from where he was curled up on the floor in a blanket chimichanga, “Jisung-ssi, why are you on the floor, again. Its literally 3pm.”

Jisung liked to call them chimichangas, mostly because he really liked that it was a four syllable word, but it also described him best when he was in a blanket burrito feeling especially fried from exhaustion.

After tripping over Jisung for maybe the third time that week, Sana had left the apartment telling them to be sure to be ready for their performance tomorrow at five pm, when she would meet them at the venue. Although Jisung was the one currently rolled up on the floor, the other boys had somehow looked even more exhausted on the couch with emptied coffee cups in their hands and obvious dark circles under their eyes. They had finished in the early morning as always, trying their best to prepare for their performance, that apparently was tomorrow. That was news to Jisung, and still nothing written for his verse.

“You guys look so dead, how are you even awake right now” Jisung mused from his bundle on the floor.

“I honestly don't know. Do you think I could just go to sleep until our performance tomorrow?” Chan chuckled at the realization that their call time wasn't more than 17 hrs away.

“Honestly you need it, with how much you got done this week. You finished almost all the tracks for the album, right?” Changbin asked from his spot on the couch. Chan nods vaguely at the question .

“Yeah out of the songs we chose, I was able to brush them up, and fixed the beat on a few. We can look at them closer after Friday.”

“This week didn't seem real. The last thing I remember was dragging Chan’s unconscious body down the hallway after we got back from Menu 98.” Jisung was gesturing wildly beneath the blanket he was under, but the other two didn't have to even look at him to know he was being dramatic. “Bin-hyung it took you like 3 whole minutes to put the right key in the door. I'm glad your attempts with the bottle opener didn’t end up damaging the lock.”

That one earned Jisung a pillow to the face.

“Well hopefully this Friday we won't end up in the same condition. Wine hangovers are the fucking worst,” Changbin held his head in remembrance of the pain but a smile was starting to sneak out on to his face. “But guys, since we’re finally officially signed with a company, I wouldn't mind getting to celebrate again this weekend.”

His smile only grew as the other two joined in the grinning from their respective spots in the living room. It was true, they finally signed with a company. JJP Entertainment had reached out to them after having seen them perform one of their shows. Changbin had submitted a producer application to the company earlier that year, and seemingly as soon as they had seen the three in action all of them were accepted and got to sign with the agency. Changbin had begun working as a producer about a month ago while the other two had just recently been officially signed into the company as group members. To all of them it still seemed like it was too good to be true, but a week into it they were all just excited to be calling themselves recording artists and to have consistent pay for their professional work.

Their manager Sana was a result of the company beginning to help promote 3racha as a group. Chan had mentioned that they weren’t going to be officially announced as a part of the company until they could properly debut with their album. Jisung wasn't going to complain though, he was just happy to feel like the dreams they’ve had since their underground highschool rapper days were finally being realized.

All three of them, grinning wildly, were already feeling antsy to be on stage again. The hours until they could step onstage couldn't move fast enough.

---

Minho had a busy fucking week.

He had picked up two extra closing shifts that he usually would have days off on, but the reward of a bigger paycheck pulled his leg into accepting to take them. The bright side, he supposed, was that his coworker had taken his Friday shift and he was able to have a night off. His original plan to spend the entire night in the studio was pretty much shattered when his annoyingly loving roommates had scolded him when he had told them his plans. During morning rehearsal the group was able to get a lot done, and had polished their performance piece they had planned for a showcase in the coming week.

Minho told himself that he would have still stayed after practice if it wasn't for Hyunjin’s nagging to visit him at work that night, but he was packing his bag just as soon as the others once they were finished.The truth being that going to Hyunjin’s work almost always included free drinks and good company, and Minho felt like it would be the perfect way to relax his nerves after the week of productive practice, and painful working shifts.

Hyunjin worked at the host club and bar a couple streets away from their apartment. The establishment was mostly known for the beautiful and handsome hosts and hostesses that worked there who served up drinks and polite conversation. In the more recent years, the place was becoming popularly known as being just a normal service bar that just had beautiful servers and bartenders. Many tourists and locals came to the bar in hopes of seeing and meeting these beautiful people, while also obtaining their weekend quota of alcohol. Of course as Hyunjin could attest to the host club wasnt without clients, as his boss asked him multiple times if he wanted to switch positions from bartender to host due to all the patrons asking if he was available.

“Come on Hyung! You can come and meet my new coworkers. Also you promised to visit Momo-noona last time and she’s still pissed you haven’t been back in like a month. Honestly at this point she wont stop worrying that you aren’t coming back to see her, and keeps asking me like-”

“Okay, okay Hyunjin I’ll come with you, just stop rambling,” Minho giggled at the younger antics and his tendency to ramble to himself aloud, while in a conversation. It was reasons like this that made Minho glad the boy was only a bartender and not a host. Although, he would probably pay himself just to see the young 21-year-old try and make coherent conversation with a client. Hyunjin was beyond just beautiful, but when it came to conversing with strangers past their drink order, he was quite a bit less than suave.

Hyunjin cheered as he skipped out the studio doors, joining arms with Felix as they made their way toward their shared apartment.

---

Jisung left their flat early in hopes of being able to find the venue on his own, but still allow himself time to properly get lost. Surprisingly enough he was able to find the venue on the other side of town without much trouble and with Google Maps opened on his phone. One of the reasons why it was so easy to find, was that the venue was huge. Among the lavish entrance, and its multicolored lighting, it had a large marquee with “3racha” shown in bold as the night's act. It was still the early evening and the district’s businesses were just starting to show signs of preparation for the night's patrons and customers. There were food stalls setting up, readily pre-cooking the batches of street food for those who would be passing by throughout the night. Clubs were just beginning to open their doors and prepare for the crowd that always came to dance away the start of the weekend. The bars were beginning to gather their additional servers and bartenders, from the looks of the various uniformed strangers on the street entering their respective places of employment. There were a few barhopping adults and students littering the streets with excited chatter and giggles of anticipation.

Jisung can’t say he ever went out with friends much other than when the group would perform at bars and clubs right out of high school. He never had experienced the “wild night out with your friends” trope that he secretly loved watching in dramas and tv shows. There was just something watching a group of friends all going and enjoying a night together that made Jisung’s heart smile. Looking around again and escaping his thoughts, he spots a familiar face in the distance.

In front of him is his cute server from last week, Minho, walking down the street not even 50ft away. Granted Jisung had honestly forgotten about the man after that night, as the dull ache of a hangover had occupied his mind the morning after. Jisung never thought he would actually see the man again outside the confines of the restaurant that he worked at. And maybe because this coincidence felt more like fate, and maybe because Jisung is the kind of guy to believe in fate, or maybe because Minho had smiled and from 50 ft away it still took Jisung’s breath away, Jisung found himself stumbling forward to follow the man into the bar he had just entered.

---

Minho had walked into the familiar establishment and immediately went and found his place on a barstool.

“You didn't have to come this early.” Hyunjin was all dressed up in his collared shirt and vest, with his name tag reflecting the dim lights from above his heart. The completed uniform of all the bartenders and servers at Sweet Lotus, of course, made Hyunjin look even more like a prince than usual.

It was barely 15 minutes after the bar had opened for the night when Minho’s leather pants and silk shirt wearing ass had entered.

“Well, it's not like I had any other plans tonight. Felix had left for work and it was too lonely in the apartment to wait for the bar hopping crowd to pass through, so I thought I would just beat them instead.”

“I knew you missed me.” Hyunjin made a kissy face toward Minho that was met with a gentle face slap by the hand of the older.

“Please, I only came to get an early start on the night. Maybe try and beat the in house record for free drinks.”

“Oh please you already know you still hold the record, don't act cocky” Hyunjin rolled his eyes, and earned a giggle from the other. There was a running competition between the off duty servers and hosts of who could get the most free drinks from strangers in a night. It was a vanity competition as much as it was a ploy for the employees to boost the bar's sales when off shift.

Minho thrived off of it, when he had worked as a host for the club. He had been in the highest demand on and off duty, gathering a total 19 drinks paid for by strangers within a single night. Even after Minho had left the club, his record still held. Hyunjin would sometimes come home updating Minho on how close some of his new coworkers had gotten to the record, well aware of how much the title inflated the man’s ego.

Before Minho had the chance to respond a tuft of brown hair tripped into the bar entrance. A familiar looking boy with big shining eyes, searched the room until making eye contact with Minho. The determined look in the boy’s eyes was completely contrasted by the soft smile starting to appear on his lips as he approached the bar.

Recognition flooded his memory as Minho looked back at the cute boy that had given him his number on a receipt the previous weekend. The boy struggled slightly at getting atop the stool next to Minho, earning him a slight snicker from the bartender as he watched the scenario play out in front of him. Hyunjin just watched his cocky ass roommate be made speechless by the entrance of a cute high school looking kid dressed in street clothes, there was no way he wasn't going to hound Minho when they got home.

“Hi.” The younger looking boy smiled again fully creating a heart with his lips, and Minho couldn't help but smile back. That seemed to only make the younger grin wider if that was possible and his eyes sparkled with content. “I don’t know if you remember me, but I met you last week, I mean kind of. You were my server on Friday night, and you recommended a drink and a dish for me, and I’m pretty sure it was the best thing I had ever tasted before. And now that may seem like a completely crazy reason to low key follow you into a bar after seeing you on the street, but for some reason I feel indebted to you for giving me the best thing I’ve ever tasted also I’m pretty sure I was embarrass-”

“Hi Jisung,” Minho didn't know anyone else could ramble even more than Hyunjin, but here he was, Han Jisung, the cute boy in the pink hoodie who had given him his number and a tip that was quite a bit more than his 20% usual. In full honestly Minho had found the receipt a few times during the week in his work pants pocket, but had always returned it before considering actually dialling the number scrawled on it.

“You don’t have to feel indebted to me, that’s all apart of my job…” A wave of guilt weighed on Minho as he made eye contact with Jisung again. “Also I apologize for never messaging you. I know you left me your number on Friday, and I usually don’t pay too much mind when customers give me their numbers, but for some reason I still kept yours.” Jisung’s eyes widened at that and his expression looked as if he had just realized something.

Minho just continued, “To be completely honest, I didn't think I would see you again, especially outside of my work.”

“I didn’t either,” Jisung quickly interjected. “And to also be totally honest, I completely forgot that I gave you my number. Tipsy me can be a little more bold than I thought.” He chuckled inwardly at himself. Looking at Minho now, Jisung had no idea how even tipsy he had found the balls to do something like that. In casual clothes, Minho looked god-like to Jisung, and something about the change in atmosphere made Customer Service Minho almost non-existent. Being able to look at Minho, his glittering sharp eyes, his perfectly styled hair, and breathtaking smile without any filters, and something about it made Jisung’s heart beat even louder. There was a slight pause as Jisung had stopped speaking and had got distracted with staring at all of Minho’s features. “Uh..um… anyway damn now I feel bad. Can I like buy you a drink or something to make up for it?” Jisung barely managed to stutter that out.

“Hey Min-hyung, that's your first for the night, and it's not even five yet. Damn maybe you will break your record,” Jisung looked over to the voice's owner and seemed to have just acknowledged the presence of the bartender after entering.

“Shut up Jinnie, I don’t wanna make him pay for my drink, the sun’s not even set”

“That hasn't stopped you before”

“No I really mean it, I'll pay for your drink if you'll let me. Not really sure what you two are discussing but I don't have a problem paying, even just to mend my consciousness” Jisung pleaded.

“You sure talk a lot with your wallet there, Han.” Hearing Minho using his last name to address him wasn't lost on Jisung. If anything Jisung was starting to take it as a challenge.

“Well, let me buy you a drink and we can talk now because we didn't get the chance over the phone.” Jisung really wasn’t sure where that confidence came from but it diminished quickly as he held his breath waiting for Minho to respond.

Minho smirked and nodded agreement, ordering his drink. “What about for you?” the bartender asked Jisung as he was taking out his card to pay for said drink.

“Oh nothing for me I have to get ready for a show soon,” squinting to read the man’s name tag “Hyunjin-ssi.”

Minho's curiosities from the previous weekends returned, and he found himself jumping on the opportunity to learn more about the boy. They were just curiosities. Han Jisung was just a curiosity. “What is it you do exactly?”

“Oh I’m a rapper in a group, with the two other guys you saw. Together were super cool rap trio 3racha~” Jisung put an emphasis on the name with excessive hand gestures. Minho thought they were cute. “And we're actually playing at the venue not too far from here. We’re on at 9 if you want to come watch.” Jisung smiles widely at that, cocking an eyebrow as if that was persuasion enough to get Minho to come.

It was. “Maybe I’ll stop by then. I can’t say I’m not curious.” Minho tries his best to feign disinterest, but his roommate’s smirk from across the bar meant that he wasn’t completely successful.

Minho glares at the bartender while Jisung continues the conversation. “So what was it that you were talking about? The record and all that, did I miss something?”

Hyunjin giggles at the question and puts on a dramatic voice, “Well, here at the Sweet Lotus even our employees will come on their off days and breaks to enjoy the bar and club as patrons, but of course flirting with coworkers is generally frowned upon, so we made up a fun little competition.” Hyunjin continues to explain what the casual competition entitles. Minho shifts to watching Jisung instead. Seeing the boy again had been somewhat of a shock, and now actually looking at him, something about Jisung made Minho’s heartbeat a little quicker. Probably just the beginning effects of the sip of alcohol he had yet to consume. Or it could be the way Minho kept thinking about how soft the boy looked, his cheeks, his hair, his smile. Jisung was cute. A cute curiosity

“So what’s the record then? The highest number of free drinks?” Jisung was asking both of them but had turned toward MInho to meet his eyes. They were full of stars, even when the rest of the place was dimly lit.

“19 drinks in a single night, held by our very own Lee Minho. Making him the hottest guy to ever grace our establishment, at least by the objective body count” Hyunjin dramatically bows to him.

“Hey I got 17 once” yelled the other bartender from further down the bar.

“I better keep coming back then, so you can’t take my spot San-ah.” Minho responded and sent him a cheeky smirk. The other bartender responded with a pouty face and a groan, before turning back to another customer. “But technically I’m not an employee anymore, so I think that takes me out of the running,” Minho continues.

“Still, I don’t think you’d ever lose that title… n-no offense to any of the other employees. I mean I only just got here and have only seen a few of you, but you are all respectively very attractive, and-”

“Jisung stop rambling.” Minho giggled at seeing how flustered he could make the other. “Plus I doubt I’d lose my spot if you have anything to do with it, Mr. rich boy rapstar.” Minho takes a sip of his drink as the other sputters once again into a bumbling mess, blushing even harder.

“What noooo! Not me pshhhhhh. I am but a lowly underground rapper. Please my heart’s too fragile to handle being called a rapstar by you this early in the night, also I swear I’m not a rich boy! Not yet at least, I haven't even gotten my first paycheck, paycheck, you know?”

“Your tipping habits say otherwise”

Jisung grumbles under his breath something that sounds like ‘damn it drunk jisungie you did it again’

Before the conversation could continue, Jisung's phone rings from his jacket pocket. “Hello?... AH Sana-noona please don't yell.... Yes I know what time it is. It is-” Jisung checks the clock on his phone “Five-Thirty! Fuck, I’m on the way” Jisung looks apologetically at Minho and Hyunjin and does a few hand gestures that indicate he has to go. “I'll be there in like 30 seconds, I swear!!!”

Jisung hangs up and hops off his stool, “As you can see I am being forcefully summoned by my manager, I do hope you’ll come to the show later? Thanks for uh- I don’t know, why am I thanking you. But uh..Thanks anyway though, and I-uh hope we can do this again sometime… yeah, bye Minho.” Jisung smiles wide again and scurries out the door, almost at a full sprint.

Minho really likes his cute smile, and tries to commit the heart shape to memory.

“Hyung, he’s sooo your type it practically hurts.” Hyunjin forms a cheeky look on his face.

“I don't know what you're talking about,” Minho retorts, taking another sip of the drink Jisung bought him.

“Come on, cute, low-key a mess, big eyes, whipped as soon as he saw you. Don't even lie, you love the ones that just fall for you as soon as you smile at them. Practically all your clients were like that, and they all followed you to the restaurant”

“That’s not true,” Minho denied.

“It's true our numbers dropped when you left. We had to hire three new guys to make up the loss,” San added, now suddenly a part of the conversation.

“Well now I feel bad,” he did kind of, but it also was a huge ego boost for Minho.

“Don't. You know Momo would let you pick up a shift if you ever needed” San now joining Hyunjin in leaning on the counter.

“Maybe I don’t know, I'll just boost her drink sales tonight insead to make up for it.” They laugh, and Minho’s cocky smirk returns as more patrons enter the bar, and the two bartenders return to their positions for the night

-----

Jisung sprinted right into hair and makeup, finding his group mates already being dressed and powdered when he got there. He was able to just barely avoid a scolding from Sana as he ducked into a changing room instead. Switching from his streetwear into something that made him look more like his stage personality ‘J.One’.

By the time it was up for them to perform all three of them shared knowing glances and charged on the stage as their loud and overpowering bass beats flooded the speakers and the entire venue. The venue itself held a couple hundred people and the cheers and energy from the crowd only fueled the rappers as they began their opening song. For the three of them being on stage was like getting a high.

Jisung felt like he had taken 3 shots at the bar before the performance. He felt drunk on the adrenaline and his ad libs and verses all came out even more powerful than usual. Chan and Changbin took his energetic aura in stride and fed off him to energize their own performances for the whole show.

When their new track finally starts playing, the verse that Jisung had been agonizing all week appeared in his head as if it had always been there, and he knew that this verse was going to go down as one of his best freestyles yet. Jisung closed out the song with an electric verse that flowed and hit the rhythm in ways he had never thought he could before, and after the last beat echoed throughout the room, the entire venue filled with cheers and screams from the audience.

Minho watched from the back of the venue witnessing the three boys on stage completely dominate the stage and steal every heart from the audience. He never thought that the big eyed clutz from a few hours ago would be the man he saw on stage. On stage, Jisung practically oozed with charisma, demanding the attention of all those who would listen. At the end of the show the last verse he spit out was so intensely captivating, that it guaranteed that everyone in the audience was now in love with Han Jisung. There was no way anyone would be able to deny it. Not even Minho, even though he would definitely try.

“I’m CB97” “This has been SpearB” “and I’ve been J.One”

“and together we are 3racha! See you next time”

---

That night as soon as Minho got home he searched his closet for the only connection he had with the supposed rapstar. Digging into the pockets of his work pants, he pulls out the paper with the boys number and immediately adds in to his contacts before texting him:

[Rich Boy Han Jisung]

This is Lee Minho

I saw your performance

at least I think that was you

If it wasn't some rapstar named J.One may be your twin

Im sure hear you this all the time

But your performance was amazing. Good job Han :)

---

one ~ two ~ three ~ four ~ five ~ six ~ seven ~ eight ~ nine

#stray kids #stray kids fic #skz #skz fic #minsung #lee know #Lee Minho #han jisung #hwang hyunjin #3racha #kpop #this is a mess

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cynicalrainbows · 5 years ago

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Six Fic Prompt Chpt 1

Prompt: Fic for the headcanon about Jane not being able to read.

I hope this is what you had in mind, anon! If anyone is wondering, I headcanon Jane as being functionally illiterate in that reading and writing is really hard for her but that she can sort of do both a bit, rather than her being totally illiterate and not being able to read at all, simply because we know the real life Jane Seymour could read and write a little too.

She used to be a bright child.

(At least, she thought she had been. )

At least, her mother and her governess told her that she was. (Father never did but he didn’t speak to her much, that she remembered when she was young. Or even when she was older, really.)

She remembers studying the letters on her hornbook fervently- not because she cared much for it (the way they slanted made her feel dizzy, and the thick black lines of text made her eyes hurt) but because she was greedy for her governess’s smile of approval, her mother’s hand touching the crown of her head.

Such a bright girl. Such a good girl.

Writing was more difficult- how could there be so many shapes for letters to take?

And yet should she try to guess at how a letter should be formed, she inevitably betrayed herself with a dot or a line in the wrong place.

But she pressed on: she reminded herself that these were skills she would need one day, and that while there would surely be pleasant parts of managing a household- the satisfaction of settling accounts, like they were a riddle she got to solve all by herself, the way she could make flowers and fruit and animals bloom beneath her pricked fingers- she had to accept that it couldn’t be all fun and frivolity, and also be grateful that she was being taught at all, for how many fathers troubled themselves about such things for girls, even now with the new fashion for learning beginning to spread?

She’d had her reward too- once she’d stuck to it for a few years, she was never much troubled by it again, even when she came to court, that bastion of female learning (although some whisperers said that perhaps both the present and previous Queens would have done better spending less time at their books and more time working at the one female achievement that really mattered….)

She turned her head away from the whisperers as much as she could, without being rude- she’d never much liked gossip. Although she didn’t necessarily think they were wrong either. Not that it mattered, of course.

She already had the names of her future children decided (even though common sense reminded her that her husband would likely have his own ideas, at least when it came to the naming of their sons, it was pleasant daydream) and no one would ever be able to accuse her of either unwomanly erudition or peasant-like ignorance.

She knew enough- more than some ladies, less than others- and since she had never had much of a desire to stand out, that suited her well. She got by.

But it’s harder in this brighter, harder world.

So many things are written down for one thing- no longer are there hoards of people just waiting to tell her what she needs to know. Now, where she once could have asked someone- for a price, for directions, for a name- and received a courteous, respectful answer, there are simply printed words- the same for everyone, be you peasant or lady.

Except not for everyone. While everyone else, it seems- no matter their age or their social standing- can read and understand whatever it is (menu or timetable, road name or sign post) with ease....she alone is left to struggle.

Sometimes, it’s merely time consuming, to have to spend five minutes deciphering an unfamiliar word or name while people sweep by on either side of her, striding confidently on after barely even having to glance at it.

Sometimes though, it’s painful- feeling the eyes of people burning into the back of her head as she tries to stammer an excuse while the cashier (or the driver or the clerk) frown with barely-concealed irritation at her ignorance.

And whatever the issue is- going to the wrong window, when the sign clearly states that it was closed even though there was a person there, requesting an item when the sign clearly stated it to be out of stock- it weighs upon her for the rest of the day, drags her down, makes her slump in her seat while the other queens sit up straight, makes her sit mute while they laugh and chatter.

She had always been reserved but never- even during the mortifying days after knowledge of her and the kings dalliance became public knowledge, even during the terrifying first few days as queen- has she hated being looked at as much as she does now.

People see more than she does- that’s the problem. They see meaning where she sees a confusion of lines and curves that only sometimes manifest themselves as recognizable words, they see her stupidity (for she now knows that is what it is) in how she hesitates and twists her hands and stumbles over her words.

It worries her, that they see too much- who knows what else they can see?

(Could they see that Kitty had had to write out Heart of Stone for Joan to set to music- that she had delayed and delayed and eventually feigned a megrim when the director’s patience ran out, knowing that soft-hearted Kitty would offer to do it for her? Were they laughing behind their hands, even as they clapped her?)

It makes her want to hide- to draw her curtains and retreat, but of course she can’t. It was- ironically- easier at court. (Taking herself away to pray for a couple of hours in the middle of the day had been seen as devout, once. Now, it’s looked up as mildly eccentric.)

She’s trapped- trapped in the perpetual cycle of confusion and guilt, constantly on her guard.

It’s exhausting.

#six #six the musical #six the musical fanfiction #sixfic #jane seymour

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jtoddstrangersfic-blog · 5 years ago

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Strangers (Jason Todd x Female OC): Chapter 2

TRIGGERS: Cursing, some domestic abuse, mention of wanting to die, attempted mugging/assault, mentions of drugs

Author’s Note: Sorry it took so long to post this one, I’ll do better I swear!

3,920 words

Masterlist

Jason

It was 5 o’clock on Wednesday, and Jason found himself laughing along with Rachel and a few other students from his World Literature class in the library at Gotham Community College. The group took up one of the large tables on the second floor, and they were surrounded by other groups working in a similar manner on various coursework.

The group was engrossed in gossip regarding some of the other students in their Literature class, many of whom Jason didn’t even know. He relished in the stories and rumors being shared by his classmates, who were trying to have some lighthearted fun after the two hours of work they put into their research assignments. Although he didn’t particularly like gossip, Jason was nosy and didn’t see the harm in joining in on such a *normal* college activity.

“I can’t believe Bryant got away with that!” Chelsea, one of Rachel’s more boisterous friends, snickered into her palm. The group was talking quietly to avoid any eavesdroppers, but every now and then one of them would crack up and become a little too loud. “You know he almost dropped out of high school because of that, right? We were in the same classes together senior year, and we were all sure he would get caught. I didn’t even see him around campus until recently, and I don’t even know if he was at graduation-“

Jason tuned her out, glancing around the library to the clock on the wall closest to his table. He would probably stay another hour before he needed to leave. He had work for a different class to finish before patrol tonight, and didn’t want to have to wake up early the next morning to finish it. His eyes traveled down the wall to one of the individual cubbies against the wall, where his gaze fell on the back of a familiar head. It was the quiet girl who sat next to him in class.

His eyes raked down her body, taking in her light blue jeans and trendy brown leather jacket. She was wearing a jacket again, on another warm day.

Rachel nudged Jason, pulling his eyes away from the girl as her hand flew across her notebook not thirty feet from where he sat.

“That’s the girl from our class, right?” He asked Rachel quietly, motioning to the girl in question with his head. “The one who sits next to me?”

“I think so.” Rachel followed his nod, her eyes landing on the girl’s back. “I don’t know her very well.”

“No one does.” Sam cut in, noticing the pair eyeing the girl writing like a madman in her notebook. “She’s hot, but never hangs with anyone.”

“I’ve had a couple classes with her.” Chelsea whispered, her eyes never leaving the new topic of conversation. “Her name’s Rian, she’s weird. Quiet, doesn’t really socialize with any of us. Thinks she’s above it all, you know, all this college stuff. I never see her at, like, parties or bars or anything, I don’t even think she lives on campus.”

“Snooty.” Rachel added, her eyes trailing along Jason’s face. Her mouth twitches when she sees the interest he’s taken in Rian.

His eyes were drawn to her, out of pity or curiosity he isn’t sure. She sits next to him in class, (well, her bag does), and he still hasn’t had a single conversation with her. The only reason he knows what her voice sounds like is because she sometimes answers questions in class, but only when she’s called on. She never volunteers information. She’s guarded, something Jason sympathizes with.

“Jason?” Chelsea snapped her fingers in his face to gain his attention. “Are you with me?”

“Sorry, yeah.” He muttered, blue eyes reluctantly leaving Rian. “I just- never mind.”

As if on cue, Jason’s phone vibrated on the table next to his hand. He glanced at it quickly; a message from Dick.

“Shit.” He mumbled, opening the lengthy message. Dick was never one to be brief. “I have to go,” Jason started packing his things, standing quickly as he typed a response to Dick. Apparently Tim found a lot of information about the drug lords and Bruce wanted everyone at the house ASAP to brief them for a raid. If they could pull this off, it would stop a large shipment of laced heroin from entering the streets, and prevent a lot of overdoses and potential addictions. “Thanks for inviting me, this was fun.” He flashed a quick smile at the group, his eyes landing on a disappointed Rachel. “I’ll see you on Friday?”

She gave him a small nod and a shy wave as he rushed out of the library, grateful he brought his motorcycle today.

It was going to be a long night.

Rian

Rian was frantically trying to finish her statistics homework at the Gotham Community College library before returning to her apartment, where she was sure her boyfriend of three years, Riley, would be waiting. Although the couple hadn’t officially moved in together, he basically lived with her. Rian didn’t mind in the beginning of their relationship, but the past year had turned volatile as an uneasy tension settled between the two young adults.

He became paranoid. Controlling. Distrusting. Everything he swore he would never become after witnessing a violent upbringing on behalf of his alcoholic father. It started with small actions; questioning the “appropriateness” of Rian’s outfits, asking her to make him dinner before work because he was too tired; and eventually turned into more problematic actions; grabbing Rian’s arm too hard during arguments, prohibiting her from leaving her apartment to see friends without him, controlling every aspect of her life.

Riley would berate her, accuse her of cheating on him, accuse her of thinking she was better than him. He would throw her around the apartment like a rag doll, releasing his pent-up anger and aggression and frustrations. He would leave trails of bruises along her arms and torso from his outbursts, and sometimes from the sex he would force her to have with him after. He was slowly becoming his father, and Rian were helpless to save him from it.

She initially stayed with him because she thought he could be saved, but now she stayed with him out of fear and shame. Over time, Rian began to believe the things he said, even though she knew better. Even if she left, as he often suggested sarcastically, what would she do? Where would she go? She was a shell of a person now, a black-and-white copy of the person she used to be. He had broken her, and she was stuck in a cycle of violence and unhappiness she couldn’t escape from.

The only joy in her life was her love of fashion, books, and writing. She was lucky to hold a part-time work-from-home job as a junior assistant editor for the Gotham Chronicle. It didn’t pay much, but it allowed her to pay some of her rent with a little money left over for groceries. Rian was fortunate to hold a generous scholarship from Gotham Community College, which helped pay the remainder of her rent in addition to her classes and course materials. As her final year at Gotham began, Rian feared what she would do after graduating. She didn’t have any money saved up, and Riley would sooner chain her to their bed than let her get another part-time job somewhere.

Rian’s mind drifted further from her homework, but a series of giggles behind her chimed in her ear. It was a group of students from her World Literature class, and she was sure they were laughing at her. She only had a few classes with the notorious Chelsea Rosa, and never did anything to upset her, but Rian knew from the disgusted look on Chelsea’s face anytime the two girls were in the same room that she hated her. Chelsea probably hated how Rian always sported perfect hair and makeup, and meticulously planned her outfits every Sunday night for the following week. Chelsea probably hated the facade Rian hid behind to hide her insecurities and toxic relationship with Riley. Rian wished she didn’t care, she wished she didn’t let it gnaw at her insides anytime she saw Chelsea, but it did. Rian couldn’t fight it, and just like her relationship with Riley, she was helpless to change it.

Rian risked a glance over her shoulder at the table of five students, all of whom were definitely looking at her. Most turned their heads when they saw her notice them. Rachel, Sam, Joaquin, Yesenia. The only one who held Rian's gaze was Chelsea.

Rian turned away quickly. She was definitely done with her homework now. She glanced at her phone as she began quietly packing her bag. It was almost six o’clock; she should have been on her way home twenty minutes ago.

Rian sped through the library toward the main doors as she mentally cursed herself for not setting a timer. Riley expected her to make dinner for him every night, something he subconsciously learned from his years as a child observing his parents. He expected her to be back from classes by six o’clock, seven at the very latest before his shift at the Gotham docks.

Riley was a few years older than Rian, but never attended college. He chose instead to work as a security guard at the docks, taking extra shifts at night to earn more money. He would always throw that factor in Rian’s face, claiming he needed the extra money to take her out to eat and buy her new clothes and makeup. She never asked him to do any of these things, but again he learned them from watching his parents. His father was the family breadwinner, and although he showered Riley’s mother with gifts, everything came at a price. He expected Rian to give him anything he wanted; dinner, massages, sex; in return for these hollow gifts. Empty sentiments to their toxic relationship.

Rain began to lap against the concrete beneath Rian’s heels as she hurried across campus. She opened Uber on her phone, hoping to catch a nearby driver to get her to the apartment as quickly as possible. Just as she began to type in her address, wiping the screen dry from the rain with the sleeve of her new brown jacket, the screen went black.

Rian stared at the rectangle in her hands with disbelief. Did it really have to die now? She swallowed hard, fear rising in the pit of her stomach as she started running toward her apartment. She needed to get there, and she needed to get there fast.

Raindrops pelted her face as she hurried through the desolate streets of Gotham. Bad things happened in Gotham to women who traveled alone at night, yet here she was. She partly hoped some thug would stop her, end her miserable existence to prevent her from returning home to Riley. It was a twisted thought, but it settled her nerves with its realism.

Rian scolded herself for staying at the library too late. She just wanted to finish her homework, she was so close. And there would be no finishing it when she arrived home, not with Riley there. Even after he left for work, she was usually too emotionally and physically drained to do much of anything. Dr. Cortez cancelling his Wednesday class presented Rian with the perfect opportunity to catch up on her statistics class.

She hurried into her apartment building twenty-five minutes later, darting passed the broken elevator to the staircase to climb the eleven flights to her apartment.

11F. That was her.

Rian sighed as she stuck her key in the lock on the green door, dreading the fuming man on the other side.

“You’re home late, babe.” Riley commented coldly the second she closed the front door behind her, locking it against intruders. He was perched on the couch, watching a Bruce Willis movie on her TV.

“I got caught in the rain.” Rian muttered feebly, dropping her wet bag at her side. “And my phone died so I couldn’t call an Uber.”

Riley turned his head to watch her with distant eyes as she removed her jacket, hanging it on the small coat rack next to the door. Rian brushed her sopping wet hair over her shoulder, hoping to keep herself busy as Riley sized her up.

“What do you want to eat?” She asked quietly, opening the refrigerator. “We have…” Her green eyes scanned the barren shelves, cursing herself again for wasting time at the library instead of grocery shopping. Her eyes scanned over the half-eaten bag of lettuce, various condiments, tubs of hummus, and very old Chinese takeout before she remembered the box of pasta she kept stashed on top of the refrigerator. “I can make pasta if you want? Before you have to leave?” Rian had been saving that pasta for a special meal for herself when Riley would be working all weekend, but she lacked the right ingredients to make the meal and she could always buy more when she eventually went to the store.

She glanced at the clock above the stove. Riley usually left around eight o’clock, sometimes nine or ten depending on which shift he took. Tonight she was sure he was supposed to leave at eight, and she hoped he would leave earlier. He was already wearing his uniform, confirming her suspicions.

“We’re out of sauce.” He stated coldly, rising slowly from his seat on the couch. “How am I supposed to eat pasta without any sauce?”

Rian froze. She knew what was going to happen before it did. This happened hundreds of times before. It was her fault she didn’t go shopping, and Riley wasn’t going to let that go. He would belittle her and berate her, maybe hit her or push her down. She would apologize profusely until he was through fighting with her. Sometimes she would fight back, but those outbursts became less frequent, as she knew she would never win.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t think-“

“You never do, do you?” He scolded, walking toward her as she cowered away from him. “You never think about anyone else, even your own boyfriend. I take care of you, right? I take you out to eat, buy you nice things, support your desire to get an education even though it’s a waste of time,” He sneered the last part and Rian swallowed hard. “And yet you can’t make me a good dinner. I never fucking eat well because you never care to make me dinner. It’s fucking unbelievable.”

Rian stays quiet, squeezing her eyes closed as Riley approaches. It’s futile to try to reason with him.

“You have to be the most selfish bitch I’ve ever met.” He continued as he brushed passed her, grabbing his jacket as he unlocked the apartment door. “I’ll be back in a couple hours, you better have that pasta ready.”

He slammed the door loudly, and Rian released the breath she didn’t realize she was holding. That interaction had gone better than most, but she knew she had to go to the store to buy his pasta sauce before it closed. If he returned to no dinner… she shuddered at the memory of all the foundation she had to use to hide her black eye the last time this happened.

Rian grabbed her wet coat from the rack, counting down from 100 in her head before leaving to avoid seeing Riley in the lobby. It was going to be a long night.

The corner convenience store five blocks from her building was fortunately still open as Rian rushed inside, frantically looking through the pasta and chip aisle for Riley’s favorite pasta sauce. She found it after a few minutes, finally allowing herself to relax as she cashed out with Mrs. Chen, the kind older woman who owned the store.

“Pasta sauce at this hour?” She asked, offering Rian a kind smile.

“It’s an emergency.” Rian smiled back at her as she was handed her change.

“Must be.” Mrs. Chen muttered before turning to the only other shopper in the store. “Need help? We’re closing soon.”

The man grunted in response, and Rian felt his eyes on her as she retreated to the door. Rian ignored the dread that filled her stomach, the hairs standing up on the back of her neck as she rushed into the rain.

She only had two blocks before she would be safely in her apartment. Well, as safe as she could be knowing Riley would be returning later. She was practically running across the vacant streets, not a soul in sight.

As Rian passed the laundromat where she brought her laundry, she felt a pair of hands grab her waist. She was hauled into an alleyway before she knew what was happening.

“Easy there, shortcake.” A burly voice sounded in her ear. A dirty hand clasped down on Rian's mouth as she tried to kick her assailant, struggling in his grasp. The smell of cigarettes and cheap beer filled her nostrils, the rain intensifying the rancidness. “Where are you off to at such a late hour?”

She squirmed, determined to break free. She had to make that pasta, or worse things would happen to her. Or maybe this was the reprise Rian was wishing for. Maybe this man would end her life and none of her panic even mattered. No more Riley, no more pain, no more hurting. But that wasn’t an option. Rian may have been broken down by Riley, but she was still a fighter, and this wasn’t how she planned on dying.

The thug removed his hand from Rian’s mouth to pull the plastic bag from her hand, the bag containing the pasta sauce for Riley. Rian found her opportunity to scream, to beg someone for help. She screamed as loud as she could, her vocal cords straining against her throat as she tried to wiggle herself free.

The man tightened his grip on Rian’s waist, his hand inching lower and lower toward her pelvis. She kicked him again, and he finally released her. Rian fell to the ground with an unsuspecting thud, catching herself against the wet pavement with her hands. Her palms burned from the impact, but she forced herself up, trying desperately to stand.

Before she could get herself upright, she felt the man’s hands grab one of her legs to drag her back toward him. Rian kicked, cried out, squirmed around. Anything to get free. Her fight-or-flight instinct kicked in. She had to get away.

She could hardly see the man in the dark, but she was kicking and struggling and doing anything she could to free herself.

In an instant his hands released her leg, and Rian took the opportunity to crawl away. She could hear grunting behind her, but the rain was too loud to make out what was happening. It sounded like fighting, as if someone had finally come to her rescue.

Rian didn’t glance back, instead making her escape. She ran as fast as she could in her heels in the direction of her apartment building, only stopping to catch her breath when she was safely inside the building with the door locked behind her.

Rian’s legs ached; her palms itched; and she could feel a migraine start to push against her skull. She gasped for breath, thoroughly grateful for her escape. That someone, or something, saved her. Maybe things would be okay.

As her heart began to settle, she remembered the pasta sauce. Still in its bag. Still in the alley. Panic began to rise in her chest. This wasn’t over.

Jason

“This’ll teach you to harass people, you old fuck.” Jason landed another punch to the degenerate as he struggled in Jason’s grasp. Jason had found him attacking some screaming woman while he was on his way home after leaving the Batcave. She was lucky he was too tired to patrol, or she would have been on her own. She was a fighter though, he saw her kicking and screaming at her assailant.

She crawled away before Jason could help her, but that was probably for the best. He didn’t have it in him to comfort another distraught Gothamite. He just wanted to change out of his wet clothes and take a hot shower.

As Jason left the man unconscious and handcuffed in the alley, tagged with a tracker for Tim and Dick to pick up on their way through, his mind wandered to Rachel. What if something like this happened to her? Or one of her friends? Would he be there to help them? And what if he was too late?

Jason shook his head. This was another reason he couldn’t get too close to people. Gotham was a dangerous city, and almost every citizen had their run-in with a criminal or two. Some lived to see another day, and some did not. He couldn’t worry about protecting everyone he cared about; there were more important things happening.

Jason grappled to the top of a nearby building, removing his helmet to let the rain wash away the sweat and stress from the past few hours. The meeting with Bruce had been too long. There were no viable ways to prevent the drugs from entering the city, and Bruce wouldn’t allow any of the boys to involve themselves until he had a solid plan with reliable back-up. But they were running out of time. By tomorrow, the drugs could already be in the city. The weight of that realization settled unpleasantly on Jason’s shoulders, making it hard for him to focus on anything else.

He was about to run toward the next rooftop, two blocks from his apartment, when slight movement under one of the streetlights below caught his attention. He pulled his helmet back on, cursing whoever it was walking through the streets. He didn’t have it in him for another attack. Maybe he would leave this one to Dick when he finally arrived to pick up the unconscious thug.

He peered over the edge of the building, watching in disbelief as a small figure tentatively peeked into the alley he had just vacated. He instantly recognized her as the same woman who was being attacked moments before.

The woman used her phone flashlight as she carefully stepped back into the alley. She didn’t appear to realize her assailant was slumped against the wall near her, unconscious thanks to the Red Hood. When the woman stumbled on a plastic bag, she crouched down. Jason watched curiously as she opened the wet bag. He used his helmet to zoom in on her, his night vision allowing him to see almost perfectly in the dark.

She pulled out a shard of broken glass covered in a dark, thick liquid. He saw her hands trembling as she dropped the shard, bringing one hand to her face as she backed away from the scene. She stumbled out of the alley, now illuminated by the streetlight as she stuck her wet hands deep into the pockets of her brown leather jacket.

Jason recognized that jacket, and taking another look at her, recognized her jeans and boots too. He studied the top of her head, realizing it was the same head of dark (now very wet) hair that occupied the seat next to him.

It was Rian.

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rcsefleur-blog · 5 years ago

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hi all !! this is an introduction to my freshest muse and newest baby yeo eunchan otherwise and more commonly known as ‘chan’, he’s a sweetheart but of course because its me and i can’t resist giving my muses slight torture, he’s a tormented sweetheart. if you look at his pinterest here you’ll get an idea of his style better since that’s pretty essential to him as a muse in this case hshd. below the cut you can find out a bit more about him and if you hit the like, i’ll be sure to throw him at you for plots !! lets get into it:

BACKSTORY:

chan’s childhood wasn’t particularly dark or strained. he is by far the least tragic out of all my muses. but for me, that’s still pretty tragic by mosts standards. growing up he always had a very supportive father in regard to his homosexuality and androgynous qualities. he grew up in a happy home and despite not being rich he was very fortunate to have rich opportunities come his way. to be fair he’s pretty easily pleased but most of his experiences thus far have been plentiful

perhaps that is why his luck has to run out somewhere down the line, in the worst way it possibly could. his mother passed when he was young due to cancer. it was a grave and difficult time for his father as well as the rest of the family. his father crumbled eventually, in the hospital with health issues now that are so severe he’s due to pass any day and is basically in a vegetative state already. chan was left to raise his five year old sister nari and take on the responsibility.

for this reason, he could be considered a struggling single father as he’s pushing his own dreams and goals aside to accomodate for nari and make sure she has the best upbringing which is comfortable for her, where she can see chan as a father figure as well as an older brother now, who can be relied upon and responsible. balancing the line and the roles between brother and father isn’t always easy though when the lines are constantly blurred. he has sacrificed most of himself and his youth to keep nari happy and healthy and mostly untouched by the death of their parents.

this hasn’t been easy though, it’s left chan isolated and with no one to speak to but the five year old girl a lot of his feelings get locked in a box and left unexplored, he cannot have a moment of hesitation or weakness because then that will affect nari. his mourning process and grieving has been put on a backline, and he only really allows himself to break down in quiet moments without nari. such as when walking through the forest to be with nature, visiting their graves or on the edge of his bed having a good cry when nari is fast asleep due to the feeling of living in the empty space where his parents used to fill it all up.

PERSONALITY:

chan is a makeup artist, he does it professionally for models and artists all throughout the industry but he also does it for fun, becoming pretty popular as a person who gives tutorials on youtube and instagram as an ‘influencer’ but he really hates that label and prefers to simply think of himself as an artist. he also does the bit of fashion blogging and photography on the side.

he considers himself an adventurer and for that reason he also travels a lot, usually while he is there he’ll study as he does photography for a course as well as a part time student and his main interest is in ancient architecture and art. most of the time he’ll roadtrip in his styled up vintage pick up but occasionally its flights to more beachy area’s, his two favorite places are greece and italy and he spends most of his time in those places if he can.

chan has a very vintage sense of style and he enjoys doing most things the traditional and old school way. although he does add a modern mindset to a lot of it. aesthetically style wise envision chan as fingers full of plenty of rings, ankle bracelets and arm cuffs with loose puffy sleeved shirts and ripped up mom jeans or high waisted ones. he cycles mostly everywhere on his vintage style bike.

very much a gentle soul, little bit of a nerd and activist in the sense he wants to save the earth. he can be really intense about learning about nature and how to preserve it. he has always felt the most in touch with the natural world compared to the hum and chaos of the modern world and city life. he’s no saint of course and he’s still a sucker for coffee but other than that he likes to think he does his best.

paints and draws very amazingly likewise, he prefers to draw flowers and people the most but he’ll work with whatever he’s got on hand. usually you can only catch him whipping out a sketchbook if he’s feeling stressed or overwhelmed as a form of escapism and quiet time.

he is a little bit of a quixotic type so sue him, like one of the ‘have you ever fallen in love’ 'five times a day’ types but it’s not obsessive, it’s more of an admiration he considers all people beautiful and worthy of love in their own way and would state most of them are art to him. you could be the worst person and he’d be all ’ you dont have all the facts’ 'which are?’ 'i love them’.

although he doesn’t identify as genderfluid, he has a very genderfluid and androgynous sense of fashion and often wears clothing and makeup typically labelled as being more feminine. he likes a soft and classy look that usually consists of a good lip tint or ultra glossy lip and a natural but glittery smokey eye look. think kinda like the instagram influencer ivanbaaaaah for reference.

MISC:

growing up chan struggled with religion a lot, he and his family are very religious but his sexuality caused some issues. his father had always been supportive but his mother was a different story, unfortunately his memories with her aren’t the fondest. though he has a very dark history with religion, he loves to be in churches that are empty or abandoned for moments of reflection. often he wonders if he doesn’t even have god as the one consistent and reliable thing in his life, then what the hell does he have. he feels even now sometimes that he’s letting god and his mother down for the way he is but there is less shame now than what he suffered when younger.

everything in his life basically revolves around nari, she goes most places with him and any task he’ll find a way to make fun for her, he doesn’t spoil her but he also doesn’t ever leave her to go without even if that is at his expense to do so. they love to bake together and he does that pretty often.

has a part time job as a barista on night shifts and also in a patisserie. he works from home on his influencer content again to accommodate for nari and he also takes his course in photography and media online to best suit nari so he doesn’t have to leave her with a babysitter too often as he believes that’s no childhood and him just being lazy in his duty towards her as her parental figure at this pivotal time in her life.

he’s putting off most of his dreams and aspirations right now for until nari is older, he could’ve been much more famous as an influencer but he chose not to be and put those opportunities to broaden his career on hold for a while because having a famous sibling in her life wasn’t the kind of overwhelming attention and pressure nari needed to be surrounded with right now.

he honestly just wants to make sure nari grows up feeling safe, comfortable and happy as well as confident in herself and chan. she’s his primary responsibility and he considers himself her closest bet to a father now so he wants her to feel she has that bond with him as well as the bond of him being her brother.

PLOT BUNNIES:

a babysitter plot would be great, someone who he can rely on and uses often to leave nari with when he has no other choice and particularly on nights when he has to work. ideally it would be someone nari felt very close to and idolized so he knew they had an amazing relationship and she’d be happy and relaxed when he was gone. he’s very over protective of her so he’d also have to feel pretty close to the person. it could go any way really, it could be a pining thing, a best friend thing, whatever honestly.

this boy definitely needs a confidant so throw that at me any day.

friends who can help him reconnect with religion and spirituality in different ways so he knows there’s always a way for him to feel tied to god somehow and a god who loves him and best suits his needs somewhere even if it isn’t necessarily in the religion he grew up with.

work buddies at the cafe he works in or patisserie would be amazing too.

maybe a tutor/study buddy kinda person he met online through doing his course of media and photography to make sure he was making up for the classes he was missing out on by not being able to attend day lectures in college.

just people with the similar hobby of photography would also be awesome or models even that he can do a couple of freelance jobs for on the side when they need him.

muses for him to draw they’d be very special people indeed bc chan will rarely whip his sketchbook out in front of anyone let alone ask to draw them.

more single parent muses would also be awesome eventually or older siblings who kind of take on that role half the time so have some idea of what its like who he could meet through taking nari to things like nursery, etc.

neighbor bc who doesn’t love a good single dad and his neighbor plot who’s all like woah that guy is super young and he has a kid but im also sure there’s no woman on the scene and wow they’re noisy and its kinda infuriating but its also cute as hell cause he’s a hella good dad and in the mornings i can hear them baking and doing food fights or playing together and i often see them messing about coming back from grocery shopping etc and actually its kinda touching??

gay pals cause we love gay pals as well as ur everyday pals we love a platonic bond between fellow gays.

love interests of any kind rlly, pining situations, crushing, flings, ex’s ( they’d have had to have ended on good terms tho bc chan just can’t hate anyone ), first times e.g. sexually, boyfriend, kiss u get the idea

#daegu:intro #daeguintro

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storiesofwildfire · 5 years ago

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In this headcanon, I will be describing the reworking of Loki’s origins to correspond with God of War 2018. After playing the game, I was hit with a massive wave of inspiration because the game is genuinely very accurate to Norse mythology and it explains a lot of quirks about Loki that both Marvel and Norse myth have failed to explain or elaborate on.

Just to name a few, the new additions to Loki’s backstory offer insight into:

i. Why Loki is the God of Fire despite being a Frost Giant, as Kratos was the Greek God of Fire who often wielded the element in battle. Loki’s development of fire came directly from their father.

ii. Why Loki is so small in comparison to other Frost Giants. Always described as a runt, the true reason that Loki was born so small is because they are only half Jotun and their mother had taken up the form of a mortal at the time of conception and birth. Mixed in with Kratos originally being part mortal as well, it makes sense that Loki’s size would not match that of a typical Jotun.

iii. The event in MCU that seemingly erased so many people’s memories of Odin’s horrific and bloody past ( aka, what is discussed in Thor Ragnarök ). Living through one cycle of Ragnarök gave him the ability to alter his course in life without people noticing or questioning.

iv. Why Baldur is never mentioned. Baldur is Odin’s eldest son and yet, is never mentioned or discussed. Why? Because he already died to ignite a cycle of Ragnarök. Most people don’t remember him.

v. Why Odin is so incredibly desperate to keep control over Loki. He’s already experienced a cycle of Ragnarök because of him and he wants so badly to stop it from happening again. Though this is something I’ve already touched on for years, because Ragnarök happened once, Odin’s motivation is even more dire.

vi. Why Laufey is always described as Loki’s mother in mythology where Marvel claims Laufey is Loki’s father instead and never actually discusses the other parent.

And, in all honesty, after playing the game, I felt a strong connection to the story it presented, one that could easily feed into the timeline I’ve already set in place for Loki, so I decided I was going to do some updating. I haven’t had this strong of an emotional response to something in a long time and this just came so naturally to me, I couldn’t ignore the urge to do the crossover.

A game where Loki’s actually a good guy and ultimately the hero, that calls Odin on all of his bullshit, won game of the year in 2018 and if that ain’t incredible, I don’t know what is. I saw so much of how I’ve been writing Loki for years in how the game portrayed Atreus because it focused on his knack for storytelling and his love of animals and how empathetic he truly is. All those little details resonated with me. It made my heart sing, so my updates will act accordingly.

Many years ago, deep in the forests of Viking Age Scandinavia, a seemingly mortal couple married and had an incredibly special child.

The father, Kratos, son of Zeus, a Spartan warrior, and the bringer of the end to so many deities that made up the Greek pantheon migrated and took to a life that was not his own. Seeking the life of a common mortal over the corruption of godhood, he found himself far away from home and further still from the memories he believed were better left forgotten.

The mother, Laufey, although blessed with powerful Seidr that kept even the most powerful enemies at bay, hid the truth of her origins as she wandered Midgard, claiming to be nothing more than a human witch. In reality, the woman hailed from Jotunheim, the land of the Frost Giants. Laufey wasn’t just any Jotun either, but the rightful ruler of the realm. She watched as war broke out between the Aesir and the Vanir, a war that quickly spread throughout Yggdrasil and left no realm untouched. Jotunheim did everything within its power to keep Asgard out of their realm, quickly marking themselves as a powerful adversary and painting them as a target. While Laufey wished to stay with her people, her realm was dying, and she could do nothing to save them by sitting on a throne.

With a burden resting heavily upon her shoulders and the gift of foresight, she saw a future that included a husband and a child, the foundation of salvation for not only her people but all the realms. Her purpose took her to Midgard in the disguise of an average-yet-beautiful young woman with porcelain flesh, vivid emerald eyes, and dark, ebony hair.

Not long after the pair’s first meeting, they fell in love, and quickly after that, Laufey gave birth to a redheaded child with her jewel-toned eyes. She wanted to name the newborn Loki, as she had already been calling the child Loki in her visions for years. Even her people knew the child-to-be as Loki. Kratos, however, wished to name the child Atreus, after a Spartan warrior who died in battle protecting his own, a man that Kratos admired and daresay even loved.

They decided to give the child both names, one from his father and one from his mother.

Loki ( Atreus ) spent most of his younger years with his mother. Kratos spent many days and nights away, hunting, often leaving Laufey to look after Loki on her own. She did so without complaint, enjoying the company of her beautiful baby more than even the most loving and attentive mother could. As much as her love ran deeply, though, she often found herself fearful to leave Loki’s side. He would grow up to be one of the most important people of their time, but her foresight did not offer her insight into the complications.

As a small child, Loki suffered greatly from illness, often left weak with a fever, unable to get out of bed. Sometimes, the ailment grew so severe that Laufey feared losing her child, though as Loki grew older, he grew stronger as well. Still, his ailment never seemed to fully disappear, but the risk of loss of life faded over time.

Laufey never got to see her son grow up, as she passed away when he was still quite young. Old enough to learn to hunt, read, and recite stories, but much too young to be without his mother. Especially when left with a father who, in Loki’s eyes, did not want him. Kratos was never around, hardly spoke to him, and did not seem to hold much interest in holding a relationship with him. He didn’t understand why his father remained so distant, didn’t know of the hardships that plagued the God of War, or how fearful he was of being a father without Laufey at his side.

Shortly after his mother’s funeral, as Kratos and Loki gathered Laufey’s ashes and discussed a journey to spread them across the highest mountain peak in Yggdrasil, Odin’s son turned up on their doorstep. Baldur, Odin’s eldest ( and at the time, only ) son came looking for Laufey under Odin’s orders. Odin, the “All-father” and King of Asgard, became obsessed with obtaining as much information about the future as he possibly could so he could prevent Ragnarök and therefore, his own death. Laufey, a powerful sorceress with a natural gift for predicting the future as well as Jotunheim’s rightful heir stood as a prize and a threat for the Hanged God.

Upon seeing that Kratos lived in a modest home with not one, but two beds, Baldur, a God blessed and cursed by his mother so he could never be harmed but, in turn, could never feel anything, became obsessed with hunting Kratos and uncovering what the God so desperately wished to hide. He’d believed he was looking for a sorceress to steal away and take back to Odin, but what he found ran much, much deeper.

After being discovered, Kratos and Loki ( who Kratos insisted on calling Atreus or, even more commonly, “boy” ), were forced to leave their home, lest they sit and wait patiently for the slaughter Odin’s brood was sure to deliver. Unsure of what they should or even what they could do, they turned to the one goal they both shared. Pay respects to Loki’s mother by granting her final wish of spreading her ashes across the tallest peak in Yggdrasil. Foolishly, they believed that to be a nearby mountain, but as they finally reached the tip of said mountain, they came face-to-face with Mimir, the Smartest Man Alive, as he described himself, instead. Trapped in a tree that grew around and threw him by Odin, he had no real means of escape and was kept there for when Odin could make use of him.

Mimir informed them that the tallest peak in Yggdrasil was not, in fact, on Midgard and, instead, on Jotunheim, but all pathways to the realm had been sealed many years prior. Mimir begged and pleaded with Kratos and Loki, promising to help them get to Jotunheim in exchange for chopping off his head. Contained and tortured by Odin, he claimed it would be a kind service and if they knew someone gifted in Seidr, his head could be reanimated, and his knowledge could still be of use.

They took Mimir’s head to a witch they met earlier in their travels, a woman whose identity would not be revealed to them for some time. Eventually, they learned that the witch’s name was Freya, a Vanir Goddess who married and later left Odin. The very same Goddess who blessed and cursed her son, Baldur, the man relentlessly hunting them on behalf of his father. Gifted with powerful magic but cursed with the inability to do any harm to others, Odin banished her to Midgard for breaking away from him. She developed a soft spot for Kratos and Loki. Her maternal nature bled into the young boy, often wishing to help or even protect him. She willingly helped them reanimate Mimir’s head and later, as Loki once again fell victim to his severe ailment that plagued him throughout his life, she lent her aid again. This time, though, she informed Kratos that his ailment was rooted in the lies that Kratos constantly reinforced on his child, insisting that Loki was mortal rather than allowing him to flourish as the young God he actually was.

The power of a God attempting to flow freely through the body of a small child who believed themselves mortal created a psychological barrier that resulted in sickness any time godlike power bubbled up to the surface.

Forced to save his child and own up to his falsehoods, Kratos told Loki the truth of his existence. Well, he learned half of the truth. The story of his mother would not come until the end of their journey, but they still had many hardships to face before they could venture to Jotunheim. Resources were collected to open a pathway to Jotunheim, multiple realms visited and explored, and one particularly annoying God who kept cropping up everywhere they went, hunting them.

Eventually forced to face down Baldur for a final time, Loki threw himself between Baldur and his father before the Odinson could deliver a finishing blow. Freya looked on in horror as she pleaded with her son, attempting to talk him down from his chosen path, but Baldur struck the boy who fell back against his father, struggling for breath but mostly unharmed. As Baldur stepped back, he found the shaft of a green arrow lodged into the palm of his hand, and he marveled at it because, for the first time in a century, he could actually feel it.

Why? Mistletoe. The arrow had been crafted of mistletoe and presented to Loki as a gift. Kratos used a piece of one of the arrow’s shafts to fix the strap of Loki’s quiver so it would sit properly across his chest after snapping. And mistletoe, as we all know, was the one substance that could actually do harm to Baldur, the one substance that Loki had been foretold to use to kill Baldur and bring about Ragnarök. The substance that could break Freya’s spell and make Baldur vulnerable again.

Despite Freya’s best efforts, Loki and Kratos killed her son before he could kill either of them. The father and son were prepared to leave Baldur alive, believing he’d been beaten without death, and that they needed to be better than the murderous Gods who came before them. As Baldur attacked his own mother, however, they realized they had no choice but to put an end to him.

With Baldur defeated and the immediate threat dealt with, they were finally able to make their trip to Jotunheim to spread Laufey’s ashes. They found the realm bleak, empty, and devoid of life, but they also found a mural depicting the journey they’d been on together after Laufey’s passing. For the first time, they both came to realize that Laufey had been hiding something as well, that she was no mortal blessed with Seidr, but a Frost Giant from a realm far from their tiny home. She predicted her child’s life and what he would accomplish and as he spread her ashes from the top of the tallest mountain, his magic traveled freely with her, dusting across the realm.

Killing Baldur, however, marked the beginning of Ragnarök. No one had been prepared for it, as it had not been prophesized for many more years, but Baldur’s death ensured the beginning of the end was upon them, the very thing that Odin feared the most and desperately wished to keep from happening.

Ragnarök, however, was not an end to everything, but a cycle. Loki would bring about an event that changed everything and those who were lost would be reborn. Intentional or not, the waves were in motion and Odin, though prideful and arrogant, was no fool. Stopping it would not be possible, but enduring and surviving Ragnarök and breaking the cycle so it would never come again? Now that could very well be accomplished if he played the game well enough.

It was this event that brought about the change in Odin’s demeanor, why he went from a bloodthirsty conqueror at war with every realm who refused to aid or support him to a “benevolent God” who wished to unite the realms. Ragnarök gave Odin a fresh start, it allowed him to craft and rebuild and bury his past sins under a road paved in gold. It explained why so many throughout all of Yggdrasil seemingly forgot all that transpired prior to Loki’s appearance on Asgard.

As for Loki, though? He could not risk killing the boy. If Loki died in Ragnarök, Loki would be reborn and Odin would have no way of guaranteeing that he would find the child again to prevent the next cycle of Ragnarök from occurring. No, in order to keep the same from happening again, Odin needed to control Loki rather than destroy him. Thus, the All-father descended upon the boy and his father, ripping Loki from Kratos and retreating back to Asgard where he stole the child’s memories and turned to raise Loki as his own, where he would always be able to keep Loki on a short leash. Where Loki could exist as a tool that Odin could use and siphon power from, but could never be used to harm him or his own again.

#( storiesofwildfire headcanon ) chaos is about that which is possible #c; kratos #c; odin #( side muse ) laufey #index; loki #filed under; affiliates #filed under; headcanons

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pkmnomegaverse · 6 years ago

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Who is Lavender and Laurel?

This turned into the sordid hook-up drama of Cress, but that’s the main part I’ve thought about sooo…

Lavender and Laurel are two characters I’ve retconned in, being triplets with Sage as their third sibling. Despite being triplets, the three are half-siblings, each having a different biological father while Cress is their mother. Sage is still the daughter of Siebold, Laurel is the son of Wulfric, and Lavender is the daughter of Wikstrom.While I debated whether I should add them, as it does lead to me having to switch things up with Sage a bit, I really wanted to run a half-triplet subplot, but debated who to use. Cress was an obvious option to run that storyline with, given his characterization, and it was easier to add two fankids with Sage as one of the triplets, over giving Sage three younger siblings. Plus the storyline behind Sage’s conception already fits well with why Cress would be getting into the kind of situations capable of leading to three different fathers for each of his babies. The basic premise behind their conception it just a tweak on Sage’s conception. After Burgundy and Chili find out they’re expecting their first child, Cress gets baby fever. He’d already been struggling with the fact he had left his son, Sorrel, back in Unova. At the time, giving Sorrel to Concordia and Anthea to raise was the only decision he could really make, but now that they aren’t in Team Plasma anymore, he’s starting to have regrets. But instead of being sensible and just contacting the sisters in an attempt to reestablish contact with his son, he instead decides he’s going to have another baby, one he can keep and raise himself this time.He doesn’t tell anyone what he’s planning (although his brother’s are able to guess what’s going on once he ends up pregnant) and starts setting things up so he can get pregnant and still have it look like an accident. Replacing his birth control with fake pills, pushing for unprotected sex more when he does hook up (which doubles as a way to test who’s going to be open to the idea once the timing is right). While he is seeing Siebold, the two have an open relationship at this point. Since they’re not official, both still see other people, which Cress uses to his advantage to hook up. He has his preferred partners, Siebold being the main one, but he also gets involved with other people, one of them being Wulfric.While they don’t meet up that often since Cress has to travel to Snowbelle whenever he wants to see him, Wulfric becomes another favored partner of Cress’. While Wulfric is a bit too gentle for Cress’ taste, he makes up for it in just how big he is in general. Cress thrives off pain, and no matter how gentle Wulfric is, it always hurts a bit at first from the sheer size difference. Plus of all his partners, Wulfric is maybe the one who “gets” Cress the most. Siebold can tell when Cress is lying, but Wulfric is the one who recognizes that a lot of Cress’ poor decisions are a result of sometime painful from his past. Which is why he’s always gentle despite Cress urging for him to be rougher. Although that’s part of the appeal to Cress as well, even if he won’t admit it even to himself. A much larger, older man who actually takes care of him during and after the act. What he always wished he would do when they…As for Wulfric, he mainly goes along with the whole thing because some young twenty-something year old being really into him is flattering. Not gonna say no to that. And once he starts to recognize Cress’ self-destructive tendencies, he figures it’s not his place to ask, but what he can do is give him what he needs over what he wants. Tender sex with aftercare, an actual relationship between them, since they start doing more than just sleeping together when they meet up. Talking, bonding through Pokemon, whether it be through battles or taking Cress to the Pokemon Village.Cress doesn’t have as much of a significant relationship with Wikstrom. They mainly get involved once Cress asks Siebold to try and arrange a threesome between the three of them (solely because Cress thinks it would be exciting). It takes a lot of badgering on Cress’ part before Siebold agrees to even consider the option (Wikstrom is his coworker after all, he’d might be fine with the idea, but he doesn’t need Wilstrom getting awkward about things after the fact, considering how often he sees the guy), but Siebold does agree to eventually introduce Cress to Wikstrom. It’s up to him convince Wikstrom after that though, he’s not going to bring the idea up himself.Wikstrom is much more hesitant to go along with the idea, since at heart, he’s a hopeless romantic. But Cress is pretty convincing, maybe it would be fine to try it out? He’s starting to get older now, waiting for “the one” doesn’t seem to be doing him any good. Plus he’s always being told he needs to put himself out there more. Wikstrom really only agrees because he figures he can back out in the middle or just pretend it never happened if it ends up being a bad experience. The meet ups between the three of them aren’t very common. Something that happens a occasionally here and there, since while Wilstrom finds that he really likes the experience, he also feels guilty about liking the hook-ups.So given that setup, when Cress decides that he wants a baby, he goes through the list of possible “donors” and tries to pick the best candidates. He’s not overly concerned with the father helping him raise the child, in fact, them not being very involved might be better, but he also doesn’t want to choose someone shady. He has a couple hook ups like that, with less than kind people, but considering who Sorrel’s father is and where that lead, he wants to choose a guy who’s a “good person.” That leaves Siebold, Wikstrom, and Wulfric as his main choices. Guys who’ve shown they’re all skilled and powerful, but also fight on the side of “good.” Instead of just choosing one, Cress decides he’ll just sleep with all of them and leave things up to chance. Let luck decide.He already has a pretty solid idea of how his cycle times out, and knows that he’s only going to get two shots at this a year (since his cycle is fucked up by all the suppressants Ghetsis had him take, he only goes through his heat cycle every six months, instead of the usual three months), so he needs to make the next chance he gets count. He starts forming his plan near the end of Burgundy’s pregnancy and then once Mace is born, it just solidifies for him that he’s going to go through with it. No doubts now.When he can tell he’s roughly two days from starting his heat, he sleeps with Wulfric. Figures there will still be some semen in his system for when he starts ovulating, so that takes care of that guy. For Siebold and Wikstrom, he arranges for them to have a threesome during his heat. Says it will be especially exciting this way (they can take turns doing him for hours or both knot him at once~). Which again, Wikstrom is hesitant about, but it’s one of those likely-not-gonna-get-this-chance-again situations, so both guys agree.So fast forward about a month and Cress is overjoyed to discover his plan did work, he’s pregnant. He doesn’t tell anyone initially other than his brothers, who he pretty quickly confesses the truth to (they’re not impressed, but they’ve always had each others backs no matter what, so they’ll support him regardless. They just wish he had talked things through with them first). He doesn’t mention anything to any of the guys right away, but it’s inevitable that they find out. It’s a more immediate issue with Siebold and Wilstrom, who were the two who spent his heat with him, combined with Siebold being the one who meets with Cress the most frequently. Both are shocked and surprised, but Siebold is the one who’s suspicious and accuses Cress of setting things up, despite how much he denies it. Wikstrom is mostly just panicked about potentially being a father with someone who he’s not even in a legit relationship with. But both do insist on being involved with the pregnancy. Once the kid is born and they figure out who the father is, they’ll decide what to do then. When Cress finds out he’s expecting triplets though, that’s when everyone is like “Do you think we’re going to end up with some half-siblings here…” Wulfric doesn’t find out about the pregnancy until a ways in, since his meetups with Cress are so infrequent. While Cress hadn’t been intending to tell him he might possibly be the father of one of his babies, Wulfric manages to get him to fess up the next time they meet up. He doesn’t really get involved with the pregnancy itself, but they do come to an understanding that if Wikstrom and Siebold don’t end up being the father of any of the babies, Cress will get in contact with Wulfric to see if he’s possibly the father. Once the children are born, the doctors run tests to determine who’s the father of each child. Wulfric gets called in once neither Siebold or Wikstrom are a match for Laurel. The entire situation is…less than ideal for the fathers involved. But they do all discuss the situation together and come to an agreement to be involved in the children’s lives, but still mostly give custody to Cress.It’s not a peaceful agreement though. Siebold in particular is the least happy about the situation and it’s actually Wulfric who is very firm about them not fighting for custody of the children. Nothing good will come of that. For the children’s sake, it’s best if they’re all raised together. One of Cress’ concessions is he gives each child the last name of their biological father. As a result, the children all end up knowing from a young age who their father, as it’s not treated as a secret. While the children all live with Cress in the shared home he has with his brothers, they all visit their father’s on occasion as well. It’s also common for when one kid visits their dad, the other two (and later Sorrel) will tag along as well. So it’s certainly an odd situation, but they make it work. As for characters, Lavender and Laurel aren’t super developed. Lavender is the more outgoing sibling, falling into that lady-knight persona I was considering for Wikstrom/Sawyer’s daughter, but instead got passed onto Lavender. Laurel is the shy, soft one, being more introverted than his sisters. Together, they form a spectrum of Laurel on the introverted side, Sage in the middle, and Lavender as the most extroverted. Their “sensibleness” follows a similar trend. Laurel gets too caught up in the details and over thinks things, Lavender rushes ahead without thinking things through, while Sage is the most sensible one, finding a balance in the middle.Wulfric is also the best overall “dad” in the sense that he doesn’t show as obvious favoritism for spending time with Laurel over his siblings. It’s pretty obvious with both Siebold and Wikstrom that they’re more invested in “their” child, even if they try to include the others. Wulfric is much better about being fair in including them all, and connects with Sorrel as a stepfather better than Siebold does, even though Siebold is the one Cress is “with” while Wulfric always remains at the “friends-with-benefits” stage (Wikstrom swears off ever hooking up with Cress again). But Laurel does have a special place in his heart as his little boy. It’s not the way he would have chosen to have a son, but he doesn’t regret the situation. None of them do, in the long run.

#under a cut cause it's hella long #also sex drama #Cress #Siebold #Wikstrom #Wulfric #Sage #Sorrel #Lavender #Laurel #Waterbutlershipping #asks #anon #Shadowsleetshipping #Knightthiefshipping

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myfriendpokey · 6 years ago

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clearance sale

clearing out some of my backlog of opinions before the new year so i can start anew. in this post I have accumulated some writing scraps on the only three topics: 1. finance 2. mystery 3. location

FINANCE

i enjoyed these recent-ish posts against the idea of indie sustainability, although as someone who already works a day job i always feel a bit ambivalent about the advice to just work a day job to pay for this stuff - - like yes, absolutely, do it, BUT sell your shit too in the knowledge that the type of precarity we associate w/ creative work is already in the process of being implemented everywhere else as well (or has already been - zero hour contracts, sub-living wages etc). like i am fortunate to still have a day job which pays a living wage and leaves me time to work on my own things on the side - but this feels like an anachronism rather than an inevitability right now.. maybe my unsustainable games will help keep me afloat when my job gets automated and i have to go work in an amazon warehouse, unsustainable games for an unsustainable job, ha ha ha. video games are an exploitative bubble but so is the rest of "the market".

it is true that this is a political problem rather than one in the narrow remit of things that can be fixed with the right 10-point sales plan- - nevertheless i think the issue of trying to make even small money off these things will remain kind of pressing as, in turn, regular employment comes more and more to resemble irregularly compensated hobbyist labour.

anyway one point i found really interesting, which i think all the above posts kind of grapple with - - the idea that it's not necessarily more "realistic" to aim at selling 1000 copies rather than 100,000. i think while we make fun of the aspiring millionaires a lot of people have just been banking on the idea of a fertile middle ground between the two extremes of tiny and ludicrous amounts of sales, between boom and bust. i'm sure there are still people working in that space but it seems like it's shrinking.

one question brendan keogh asks in his piece is "why should game makers be any different [from the norm of artists, musicians etc not really making any money]?" i think this can actually be answered a little - because hobbyist game development sort of exploded in tandem with the internet itself becoming more naturalized within everyday life, because the economic basis for indie games was always centered around the internet, which means people working in indie games were always in the vicinity of the massive, startling movements of capital that the internet rendered more visible and immediate. no more were the weird vicissitudes of the market hidden behind closed doors, in boardrooms or stock quotations - now you could log onto any site and see just bewildering amounts of money suddenly funnel into the pockets of this or that individual in real time, frequently to their own surprise as well. and i think this connected to something more general - a sort of ambient awareness of financialization, the way "the financial sector" cannibalized things like industry, the greater visibility of capital not as something embedded in some specific product or set of individual practices but as a kind of weird free-floating aura arbitrarily descending or departing. enormous reservesof "general" wealth became more visible just as the benefits and stability of waged employment became yet more desolate and i think you need to see the draw of one in part as a consequence of the other.

gacha-capitalism, permanent artificial scarcity coupled with the vague, insistent prospect of fantastic gains, as long as you keep playing. which is a rhythm already enshrined in many areas of working life - broke college students and unpaid graduates hustling for eventual employment, waged workers grinding through until retirement. but it's one the enhanced immediacy and swiftness of capital on the internet intensified and extended. fabulous payouts can strike anyone at any time, in exchange for slowly bleeding out the prospect of any other kind of livelihood. much like the austerity following the financial crash which levelled so many basic social services for no particular purpose other than the hope that doing so for long enough would please the gods of prosperity to start tossing money around again. all dues, no pay.

i do think it's worth being cynical about the efforts to domesticate this process, building a fair and sustainable biome within capitalism, by using the tools of that same capitalism etc. but if the format can't be seperated from the wider world then that's something which swings both ways. for me the most interesting critical work around vgames right now is in the effort to move outside of the constant, numbing boom-and-bust cycles of capital, the idiot repetition of exhilaration and depression and exhilaration and it'll all be okay as long as we can hold out one more cycle, particularly when that's a rhythm which has been central to the development of the format from the beginning. i think anyone involved with developing videogames has probably seen multiple generations of cool shit emerge, get abruptly killed off and written out of history in accordance with market diktats, and then replaced with a new wave of cool shit whenever the investors shift gears into "expansion" mode again. a mode of thinking about and preserving what people do that stands in opposition to this is something i can easily imagine being more generally useful in the culture, as ever more areas of life and culture start becoming subject to the same questions.

MYSTERY

there's a mystery in depth and a mystery in shallowness. with depth the habitual glance of recognition goes out and falls through - you can place roughly where something is in relation to the world, but not what it's doing, not where it goes. as a presence it seems to require a new mode of attention to be recognized, which i guess is why it sometimes makes me uneasy - that challenge, the way that challenge can be moralized. are you a bad enough dude to engage with art?? if there are 100 black obelisks in a field which one do you decide to look at? and will it really turn out to be deep, or just dense?

videogames can feel like depth-worship, like the embodiment of an essentially cthonic system of values. how deep did you go and what did you see there? did you find the gold bars in pac-man? (www.mikesarcade.com/cgi-bin/spies.cgi?action=url&type=info&page=pmgoldbar.info.txt) did you see the secret ending? how far did you get into the game mechanics, into the lore? this marks the top 10 deepest players on this game. surpass them... if you dare. an ethos of diligent attention, hierarchial levels of understanding and initiate-dom, a sub-culture. and at best a maguslike dedication to altered states of consciousness that i can respect, an interest in shifting through mangled pieces of debris in search of secret mysteries. at worst the authority cults and tests of true belonging that spring up around those mysteries, whose value is in being hidden and whose guarantee is in the strenuous effort with which they must be located. paranoia about true spiritual meanings being plundered by opportunistic interlopers. stay out. get good.

the videogame has the basic opacity of the computer system and the act of engaging with this curious abyss is allegorized into dungeons, castles, mazes. trapdoors and secret corridors. one pleasure in looking up older games for me is in seeing them recognize and learn how to thematize this basic sense of mystery. in bubble bobble the obscure scoring mechanics and secret endings are cheekily perverse, arcade challenge by another means - another system to game. in king's quest there's something like a crossfertilization between the strange causal voids of the fairy tale and the adventure game: "Exit the gingerbread house and go east and east. There is a large walnut tree here. Take walnut and then open walnut to discover a gold nut. Head east and take bowl . Look bowl to see the words “fill” at the bottom. Fill and the bowl will fill up with a delicious stew." the wizardry games took the connection between mysterious game systems and occult knowledge much further - the "true" ending of wizardry iv means finding a secret chamber and answering a series of riddles based on your knowledge of the kaballah (or at least, kaballah-derived tarot interpretations).

it's easy to moralize depth - lotus eaters, magic islands. you wander through a strange land and then return to find it's 5 hours later and you forgot to eat. there's something creepy to me about depth on an industrial scale, about building huge tunnels with massive teams on forced overtime, and then a team of professional tunnel reviewers cautiously start descending on ropes and come back every so often and say, well, 20 hours in and it all looks ok, and meanwhile everybody else is jumping en masse. maybe that's more of an issue with consumer culture in general. but sometimes it feels like a way to avoid dealing with certain inherent limitations of that culture, or even limitations of art in general, by projecting those limits out to the end of ever-deeper tunnels that fewer and fewer people will ever see, the rest of them straggling back, exhausted, getting jobs. well, i can't tell you if red dead 2 is good or not. i only got 60 hours in, and i never even found all the falcons.

if the mystery of depth is having too much space for speculation to operate coherently within, the mystery of shallowness is having not enough space for speculation to operate at all: something is too manifestly there, limited, closed-off, it's hard to push it away to get some metaphorical breathing room.

i feel this way sometimes reading writers like tove jansson, flannery o'connor - SOMETHING happened, the stories are short and clear and describe some definite event without too much uncertainty, they even have "broader themes" raised - but somehow the themes feel embarrassingly outsize for the stories, and the stories remain too clearly defined to sink back into the murk of a generalized moral or experience. they feel like moral stories when you can't work out what the moral might be.

robbe-grillet on raymond roussel: "Now these chains of elucidations, extraordinarily precise, ingenious, and farfetched, appear so derisory, so disappointing, that it is as if the mystery remained intact. But it is henceforth a mystery that has been washed, emptied out, that has become unnameable. The opacity no longer hides anything. One has the impression of having found a locked drawer, then a key; and this key opens the drawer impeccably... and the drawer is empty."

there's a famous shallowness to videogames as well that's most often caught by people outside the culture - when you see the fake videogames in a comicbook, or on tv, and they're named something like "washing machine simulator 3000" or "municipal tax assailants". and part of this also stems from the computer, the history of the computer as it insinuated its way into everyday life, as a mysteriously elaborate and convoluted way of doing just impossibly banal things, like balancing chequebooks or printing text. the stubborn thingliness of not-quite-functional machines, the way the thingliness glosses and corrodes their own internal fantasies, mirrors of the basic weirdness that is human consciousness as a material fact within the world.

with my friend i used to joke about "e3" just being the dumpster behind an abandoned gamestop - all those needy longform experiences frozen into evocative trinkets. find a nonfunctional disk copy of mario odyssey and it gives you all the same delight as playing mario odyssey, only without having to. i think there's something beautiful about that flatness, that directionless object-hostility, the rejection of the grandoise hero's journey fantasies that it implies – as well as something baleful, a rejection of consciousess in general, the idea that it could take you anywhere not inside your own head.

LOCATION

why are there so many videogames about going outside? every time i've played a videogame it's been inside a room, usually a dark one, mostly while still wearing my pajamas. for me it is an internal activity. but not only do all these games take place in fields and plains, they always talk about the wonders of going on a voyage, the beauty of the great outdoors, the superiority of the wandering main characters to the slugs and layabouts who sit at home all day.... it's weird to me, i demand we move past these cloying pseudo-critiques. raymond williams once pointed out that the first pastoral was written from the perspective of a rentier daydreaming of cashing out and moving to a country home. i demand more games with the courage of their implict convictions and that if they require you to sit motionless indoors for hours they should explicitly establish and argue for a value system in which this is the best possible thing that you can do. imagine if movies were all set in dark chambers full of people sitting down - i think i can say they would be much less insipid as an artform. "all of man's problems stem from an inability to stay in his room".

(images: Gakken No O Benkyou Soft Kazu Suuji, Legend of Legaia, a Chinese bootleg cart, and ...Iru!)

#gamechat #room

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pjbehindthesun · 6 years ago

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Character Profile: Cora

Hey hi hello. When I asked you how you wanted to celebrate the latest reader milestone, you voted to see Cora's character profile in full. Here it is! Or, here it is, current as of chapter 23 (I had to take some stuff out, you know how it is). So if you're not through chapter 23 yet, there may be some undesired spoilers. And if you’re current up through chapter 23, then maybe some mild desired spoilers, who knows. Enjoy!

Name: Cora Lane Shaw

Age: 22 when the story starts. She’ll be 40 when it ends. (I told you guys, we got a whiiiiile yet to go…)

Nationality: American, with mostly Scottish and Irish ancestry.

Socioeconomic level as a child: Very poor early on, but became more solidly middle class once her mother remarried.

Socioeconomic level as an adult: At the start of the story, she’s able to make ends meet, but she’s pretty much living paycheck to paycheck and sharing living expenses with Alex.

Hometown: The general Asheville, NC area is all she’s ever told anyone. She has not told anyone the actual name of her hometown yet. She’s kind of embarrassed by it.

Current residence: At the beginning of the fic, she lives in Seattle WA.

Occupation: PhD student at UW College of Forest Resources, also a part-time waitress at Cyclops cafe. Her career will obviously change over the course of the fic.

Income: She gets a small stipend from working as a teaching assistant in her department, and picks up a little extra money waitressing.

Talents/Skills: Her biggest skill is being extremely book smart. She has decent wilderness skills. She had to learn some basic thriftiness skills like knitting and sewing, although she hates all that stuff. She does like to cook and bake but only because it appeals to her inner scientist. She also plays guitar (badly) and mandolin (worse).

Birth order: Oldest of two.

Siblings (describe relationship): She has one younger brother, Patrick, who she calls Patch and who is four years younger than her. Patch is 18 at the start of the fic. The two are extremely close, although nothing alike, and Cora is very protective of him. But she also relies heavily on his opinion.

Parents (describe relationship): Her biological parents are Shirley and Paul. Paul left when Cora was 8 years old and she has not seen or heard from him since. She has fond (albeit childlike) memories of him, but of course, his departure had a deep impact on her ability to trust people and her view of what commitment means. She has a terrible relationship with her mother, which has more to do with John, the man her mother remarried, than anything else. Whenever she has to go back to North Carolina, she stays with her childhood best friend's parents instead of her own.

Grandparents (describe relationship): She doesn't know her dad's parents or anything about them. Her mom's father died when her mom was very young, and her maternal grandmother is in a nursing home with dementia after having suffered a stroke a few years ago.

Significant others (describe relationship): At the beginning of the fic, she is dating Alex Henderson. Alex is a year older than her but they were the same year in college and met during the first month of freshman year. They used to have a very relaxed, fun-loving, easy relationship in which neither of them expected much from the other. But moving across the country together has exposed some of the fault lines that they hadn't noticed before. They do not share many worldviews or hobbies, and they never developed good communication skills as a couple. Their sex life used to be great but has dwindled to essentially nothing at all. They don't really fight, they just fall into cycles of ignoring/dismissing one another until one of them feels compelled to put more effort into the relationship to keep it going. Alex is the first boyfriend she’s ever had. She will have other relationships as the story progresses.

In a relationship: She throws herself entirely into everything she does, relationships included. Recently, things with Alex have gotten more distant and complicated, but generally, her relationship style is to be very loving and loyal and committed. She tends to develop huge blind spots, and she has terrible communication skills, preferring to hide from uncomfortable truths and lashing out when she’s called on it. But she’s good at using her sense of humor to diffuse bad situations and get things back to normal. Despite a heavy-handed religious upbringing, she enjoys sex and is... not particularly repressed about it.

Height: 5’3 if she stands up straight

Weight: 125 lbs

Race: Caucasian

Eye color: Very dark brown

Hair color: Bright red

Glasses or contact lenses? She wears glasses when she reads sometimes but not routinely.

Skin color: Very pale, very freckled.

Shape of face: Oval

How does she dress? She’s definitely a tomboy. She wears a lot of jeans and grandpa sweaters. (One pair of jeans in particular has a bunch of raggedy holes from a literal acid wash thanks to a lab accident.) She owns three skirts and zero dresses (with the exception of the Day-Glo orange bridesmaid’s dress). Footwear of choice is either Converse or Doc Martens.

Habits: (smoking, drinking etc.) She will smoke occasionally but only socially, not as a habit. She does drink a lot of bourbon, like, way too much bourbon. Can be a bit of a pothead, although not as much in grad school.

Health: She’s pretty healthy, but it’s almost by accident. She’s a vegetarian, and she likes to ride her bike more than drive (or she did, before she gave away her bike...), but those habits have to do with her environmental convictions, not being a fitness nut. She does not generally sleep well or take great care of herself outside of those activities, although she does periodically go for a run to clear her head.

Hobbies: Reading, running/biking/hiking/anything that gets her outside, cooking and baking. And sometimes playing guitar. Again, badly.

Speech patterns: She speaks very quickly and moves her hands a lot when she talks. She has a faint NC accent despite having tried hard to shed it. Her favorite swears are religious, like “sweet merciful zombie Jesus.”

Greatest flaw: Perfectionism in the unhealthiest way. This applies to her standards for herself (personally and professionally) as well as a rigidity in how she navigates her life. She also has a short temper.

Best quality: Her idealism drives her to make the world better. Not just in her planned career, but in how she deals with other people as well. She’s not an optimist but she wants to make a difference.

Short-term goals in life: On the immediate horizon, pass her prelim exams, get a fellowship, and publish her first paper from her research. In the initial months of the fic, her other primary short-term goal was to keep her relationship with Alex thriving, although she has become less committed to that idea recently.

Long-term goals in life: Finish her PhD, get a tenure-track job at a research university, and use evidence to impact people's decisions for the greater good. She’s always seen that happening through a career in scientific research. She doesn’t have distinct personal goals like “get married, have kids,” because she prizes her independence and has misgivings about some of those life choices, at least as she understands them right now.

How does she see herself? She second-guesses herself constantly, both personally and professionally. She doesn’t have a very high opinion of her looks, but she doesn’t get bent out of shape about it either. She finds other things to have low self-esteem about, like her foot-in-mouth tendencies or her perfectionism in school or her worry of hurting other people.

What would most embarrass her? She hates it when she puts her foot in her mouth and says something rude to a person she really cares about. She would also be very embarrassed to be seen as vulnerable in any way.

Strengths and weaknesses: Strengths are intelligence, altruism, humor, stubbornness, and generosity. Weaknesses are emotional fragility, stubbornness, short temper, inflexibility, anxiety.

Introvert or Extrovert? Introvert

How does she deal with anger? Her temper flares. She's not good with it at all.

With loss? Not well. She internalizes it and it sometimes causes her to hold on to people she probably shouldn't.

What makes her happy? Being in nature, being with her (very few) loved ones, and scientific discovery.

Rude or polite? Rude for sure.

What motivates her? Fear of failure and loss. Altruism and ideals.

Is she ruled by emotion or logic or some combination thereof? Almost always logic, although there are certain circumstances where she can be swept up in a moment.

Does she believe in God? Absolutely not. She was raised Catholic and still carries a lot of Catholic guilt around in her personality, but she’s pretty dismissive of spirituality in general.

Relationships with others:

1. Alex: They start out dating. They met when she was still a very naive 17 year old, and he’s been her whole world ever since. She’s starting to lose patience with him and doubt how truthful he’s being. And of course, she’s keeping a secret from him too.

2. Lucy: Best friend. Lives downstairs. You haven’t heard how they met yet but it’s a good story and you’ll hear it eventually from one of them. Suffice it to say they hit it off immediately.

3. Chris: Chris is the first member of the “Seattle scene” she met, out on their hike in an undisclosed location in the Northern Cascades. They have a deep friendship but they don’t see each other very often due to their respective schedules.

4. Jeff: Neighbors. They formally meet for the first time at the Off Ramp and don't really hit it off right away. He is annoyed by her sense of humor. Gradually he warms up to her as he understands her relationship with Lucy better. But they are always a little at odds.

4. Stone: She meets Stone at the Off Ramp at the same time as Jeff. They form a friendship very quickly, although Stone has feelings for her from the very start. She realizes slowly that she has feelings for him as well. Then... some things happen. It gets complicated, and not complicated.

4. Eddie: It takes a while for Eddie to stop being “that new guy” to anyone, including Cora. But she initially strikes up a conversation with him because she feels bad for how lonely he looks, and they hit it off well. They have a habit of oversharing with one another.

5. Patch: Little brother. Adores him, thinks the world of him, needs his validation for everything she does, is extremely protective of him.

How she is different at the end of the novel from when the novel began: Obviously much older, and much more flexible in her ideas.

#holy shit that is a lot of information #good on you if you actually care enough to read all that wow #character profile #cora

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reosian-archive · 6 years ago

Text

The Order: District 9 pt.4

Plot: The Order was a government fairytale for those who wanted peace across the world, the countries creating ties rather than wars. Population control was done in a manner that it wouldn’t affect the innocent. It was a perfect world, so why would anyone want to go against that? Well perhaps the Order wasn’t so crystal clear to their population as they said they have been. A rebellion is brewing with a revolution sure to follow but can the rebellion make it in time before more innocent souls are forced to battle to the death?

Genre: Action, Angst & mild depictions of Gore for this chapter!

Word Count: 5,379

Pairings: none

Other Parts: part 1 / part 2 / part 3 / part 5

It was such a steady cycle of waking up, training and sleeping. There was little difference in their routines, even Felix and Hyunjin had taken to a few rounds of gun practice. Although with their limited ammunition on hand, each practice was meant to be taken seriously with little room for error. Each boy went through their practices as they were told, Chan finally reeling in that intense gaze had helped them find their footing a lot faster if he had not.

Though there was always one boy missing.

Minho.

At times, he would be found lounging around in the living room with his feet perched upon a coffee table. Idly throwing a small ball he found up into the air, lips parting as he whispered things to himself with his eyes trained on the ceiling.

The boys hardly wasted their time in trying to call him for training, even Jeongin had given up after his first few attempts. It seemed impossible to catch his attention in that state and yet, they could never understand why he was in such a state of digress.

Minho was a mystery to them all, though it was on purpose by the young man in question. He was never one to leave a trail, always giving enough information to get by. Always ready to leave without leaving anything behind, friends were something he never looked for. Sure, he was sociable with a sort of air to him that just begged for one’s attention on his person. The truth to it was that he had always been alone.

A lone wolf.

He had been called one in his middle school years, it hadn’t really struck him as truth at the time. But as he got older, it had begun to make sense to him. He was born and his family hadn’t been able to take care of him, financial troubles and things of the like, so they sent him to an orphanage. He never made many friends there either and despite his likable persona, no parent had wanted to adopt him. Minho was too collected and observate for his age. That never bothered him.

Then it became a problem.

With the orphanage slowly becoming overcrowded as he got older, they soon got rid of him. Sending him off to a boarding school on the promise of him returning the following summer.

He never did.

Instead he was stuck there. So he made the best of it, immersing himself in the technology at his disposable. Soon he made a name for himself, one of the best hackers in the world at the time and no one knew a single thing about him. It would eventually lead to his capture, but he didn’t mind. He had planned for it to happen, something about the Order was off and it had linked back to his parents. So in a stupid train of thought, he opted to get himself on their radar to try and infiltrate but it hardly helped.

His eyes flutter shut as the sounds of gunshots whisper against them, the ball landing in his grasp once more before he throws it back to the ceiling.

Yet it never comes back down.

“You’re worse than me, Minho.”

Ah, it was the slayer.

“Oh really? And you’re so much better, right?” He teases, peeping one eye open to look at the man in question.

Chan’s face is anything but amused, eyes fixed into a gaze he can’t quite pinpoint with his lips fixed into a tight line.

“Enough. Tell me what’s on your mind, the boys are out there giving their all for this and you just seemed so much more interested in a ball.” His voice leaves little time for play and it has Minho sighing in defeat, sometimes the fabled man was such a bore.

“I just don’t play well with others.” A shrug joins his words, he doesn’t see why it matters.

“Well learn to, I’m sure you have your own thing against the Order just like I do. But it’s not all about you, so suck it up.” Their gazes meet once again, it’s a repeat of an alpha circling another just begging the other to snap at his feet. But Minho isn’t up for that sort of game, letting out a sigh as he gives a mock salute to the man.

“Whatever you say, slayer.”

That had been a few days ago.

Thus meaning that it had been nearly three weeks since the boys had staked their claim on Mission Beach. Felix had proposed the idea of calling their revolution District 9. At first Chan rejected the idea, saying that a name wasn’t needed but it was Woojin would managed to convince their friend that the name was what they needed. It was cliche to have such a name for their revolution but it spoke bounds to those that would feel the need to identify with the cause. District 9 was a title for all forgotten lands in the rule under the Order, those who were nobodies and left to be forgotten could find solace in the name. They would be unified and become somebody.

So as the group of boys sat in what would be seen as a dining room, discussing their plans for another training session. Minho had walked in, hand in his pocket with a cough to clear his throat.

In seconds, all eyes were on him.

“Our first take down is in a few days.” Is how he starts off.

Almost immediately there is silence that is soon followed by panic.

“What do you mean in a few days?! We’re not ready for a take down, are you crazy?” It’s Seungmin that cries out first, he had broken out of his shell after the first week and had become a rather vocal part of their group. Though his cries of confusion are easily subdued by a gentle hand placed on his arm by Jeongin. The boy spoke more now though he opted for silence and smiles, something that would come in handy in the next couple of days.

The eldest in the room gives an exasperated sigh as he runs his hand down his face, a headache is soon to form but for now he does his best to try and hear Minho out. “Any particular reason as to why?”

Minho says nothing as he places the small device he had onto the middle of the table. With a gentle tap to it’s side, there’s a holographic display of a building just off the coast of Sydney. It had been something a of grand thing when Australia wasn’t in a district but over time it became closed off. No one really knew what it was for and no one questioned it, just like always. There’s different displays everywhere as the boys try to look at everything to try and understand what they were being shown.

Felix is the first to crack it.

“So the Order’s going to have security maintenance happening and you want us to go in, take them out or at least stall them until we get whatever information we need?” His voice hitches upwards toward the end, it wasn’t necessarily that he was nervous more as to though he was confused.

“Why can’t you guys do that here?” Jeongin questions, eyes still wide in wonder at the device. He wasn’t always so amazed by it lately but still, certain things had caused to become much like a child in a candy store. A life of solitude had not allowed him to experience much and the group of boys they befriended had allowed him to experience some things at the very least.

The familiar sound of a wrapper being undone is heard.

All eyes flicker to Hyunjin, the boy whose legs are propped up on the table with a lollipop slipping past his lips.

“Because, there’s somethings that you can only access on their servers.” He states, pulling the lolly out of his mouth before slipping it back in.

“Which means that we’re either gonna have to take all of them or hold out a distraction long enough before reinforcement arrives.” Woojin is the next to join in, for a soft and gentle man like himself it always amazes Minho at how quick he was to catch on.

Minho let’s out a sigh as he makes a motion against the holographic pictures, it causes them to disappear only to be replaced by a map of the building. A singular white line dictates a route for the boys to follow and they all stare at it, some exchanging worried glances with one another as a few look towards Chan for some sort of reassurance.

Chan.

Ah, he himself was an enigma to Minho because though his stance went rigid at the news, he eventually settled back into an eerie sense of calmness as they continued on. And even as his friends expressed concerns in whispers and glances, he continued to be lost in thought with hands folded into one another as he rests his chin upon them.

“Woojin,” He starts off, his friend becoming alert at the sound of his name. “Get the guns ready, load up on whatever you think we’ll need just for this, take Changbin if you need to. Felix, Hyunjin I need you guys to do whatever you can to get us clearance into the building.” Orders start coming far too fast for them to be done in the amount of time his voice may have urged them to be, but they’ll be done nonetheless.

“Seungmin, I need you to go with Jisung to collect whatever remaining first aid supplies are in the town.” Seungmin just nods, getting up and sharing a glance with Jisung before he’s headed off to grab what they’ll need for that venture off into town.

Soon it’s just Jeongin and the two other men, he stares at them with wide eyes and an eager mind to fulfill an order. Chan and Minho share a glance before Chan offers a gentle smile to Jeongin, hands now setting themselves onto the table as he leans over.

“Do you remember how you played hide and seek with Felix a few days ago?” He asks and in truth, Jeongin could hardly pull the memory to the forefront of his mind.

Seeing the boy furrow his brows, Chan gives a light sort of laughter as he reaches over to give a gentle pat to the younger boy’s shoulder.

“The game where you had to hide before he found you, remember?” It clicks and Jeongin beams, nodding his head eagerly.

“I remember, I remember!” Chan smiles and pats his head affectionately, leaning down and beckoning the boy over before he whispers something into his ear.

This was sure to be an interesting first day for them all.

// // // // // // // // // // // // // // // // // // // // // // // // // // // // // // // // // // // // // // // // // //

The ride back into Sydney was an odd one, the boy’s were chipper than usual with jokes passing a lot easier than before. Of course, that would depend on which car they were in but for the most part it was almost as if they were all going on a trip. A simple trip where they would be getting away from the mess they’ve pulled themselves into.

But they couldn’t deny the truth, not as they started getting nearer to their destination as the sun began to set. The mood began to come sour, the jokes coming to end as Jisung did his best to comfort those in his car. Jeongin was the worst of them all, his body beginning to shake and it took both Jisung and Seungmin’s soothing words to calm him down. Even Hyunjin had offered the boy a candy, knowing that it would at least take his mind off what was yet to come.

He took it gratefully, mumbling a thank you as he unwrapped the treat and popped it into his mouth.

The boy had little time to enjoy it as the pulled up into a back alley.

They all made quick work of getting out of the cars, Changbin keeping a careful eye out in the case that someone might have spotted them but for now they were okay. Despite Felix and Hyunjin’s efforts of trying to get them clearance into the building, it seemed that even thighs as simple as clearance cards would have to be accessed on the Order’s servers, so they had to go the old fashioned way. Woojin and Chan handed out a gun to each of them, though they were to be used if the alarms went off and they could not use stealth to their advantage.

And despite Felix’s constant insistence they wear something similar to what heistmen wear, they opted for quite the opposite. They simply wore what any young civilian would wear, opting for a surgical mask to cover their mouths but nothing more. They didn’t have the time to dress for the ‘occasion’, time was of the essence and they could do little to waste it.

“Everyone sync up your watches.” Chan had ordered, everyone was quick to follow. It was odd to use a watch again but as old fashion as it was, it was reliable in a time like this.

Once everyone had done so, there was brief go over of the plan before they headed forth as they entered the building from the back interest. The only member who had not joined them was Hyunjin, his mouth was focused on his lolly as his typed away on his laptop. Redirecting every camera to a loop of old camera footage, crashing each and every line for an emergency response and even opted to play a bit of a game on the side when he found the time do so.

Normally, he would’ve found such activities boring but with his friend’s lives at stake. He couldn’t help but feel the slightest bit excited at the prospect of doing it all.

// // // // // // // // // // // // // // // // // //

The eight boys slowly made their way through the first floor, it had been filled with simple office workers. No one that would cause concern but still they had done their job of getting rid of them. It was Woojin and Chan who had taken it upon themselves to sneak up behind each and everyone, waiting before locking them in a chokehold to subdue them. It wouldn’t kill them, just cause them to pass out for a moment at a time.

With most taken out, they hardly had anything to worry about. That is until footsteps began to sound down the hall, each of the boy’s looked at each other with a look of concern. They hadn’t expected this to happen and whilst Chan was more than willing to take them out, it had been Changbin who offered himself up to the challenge.

So they let him get to it.

With each boy pressed against the wall, doing their best to not be seen as Changbin waited patiently. The poor boy’s heart pounded loudly against his chest, his ears straining to hear the faintest of sounds and yet, when the worker turned the corner he froze. He had been so sure he could restrain the man and take him down, after all that’s what Chan had trained him in.

Yet, here he was.

Ruining their plan because he couldn’t will his body to put another in a chokehold.

When he wouldn’t react, Chan took it upon himself to pull the man into a chokehold because he could sound off that his peers were out on the floor. Chan’s eyes narrowed at the office worker as the man finally went limp in his arms before looking over at Chan.

“Next time, use the gun.” He nearly growls as he makes his way past his friend.

In truth, he shouldn’t have blamed him but right now, everything was at stake and a simple mistake like that could cost them all their lives. So Chan couldn’t come to reason as he made his way up the stairs, glancing back to make sure everyone was following as he pulled out the pistol he had lodged into the back of his belt. Changbin had been the last to follow, looking at his hands as if they were foreign to him. He nearly jumps out of his skin when Jisung places a hand on his shoulder, offering his friend a small smile as he urges him to follow. There wasn’t time to dilly dally, so he takes a deep breath and follows after him with his hand shakily reaching for his gun.

Upon reaching the second floor, they finally split up with Chan, Felix and Seungmin going further up and the rest staying on the last few floors of the building. Jeongin is left to his own devices as the other’s go to clear out the rest of the second floor. Though the rest have not learned what his role was, they do offer him the best of luck and a few pats to his head before leaving him by his lonesome.

Clenching his fists, Jeongin recalls what he was told by Chan and recites it to himself like a mantra as if to protect himself. It would be just like hide and seek, all he had to do was climb into the vent system and make his way to the top floor. It was simple and easy, he could do it.

Jeongin hurries quickly to a nearby room, letting out a breath of relief when he spots the vent and hurries to pull it off. When he does he does little to bring the cover back up, not thinking it to be important as he crawls into the space. It was such a confining place to be stuck in but Jeongin had grown up in worst, he didn’t remember much of his home. In fairness, he wasn’t even sure he had parents despite Seungmin’s insistence that he did. All he knew was hiding and squeezing into tight spots, a smile plays onto his lips at the memory of when he was younger and hiding from a wild dingo. He had been playing out for far too late, Seungmin had called for him to come back to the home but he didn’t listen. Chasing the butterflies was far too amusing than sitting alone in the house.

The memory pauses like a movie as he finds he’s met with two different routes to take, he glances at each warily before he takes the one to his left and finds it was the way to go. And just before his memory can continue playing, he jumps at the sounds of gunshots and yelling. The vent shaking along with him.

Oh, someone must’ve set something off.

It isn’t his concern at the moment, so he continues on with his memory finally continuing to play as he scurries along the vent system.

// // // // // // // // // // // // // // // // // //

It was guns blazing and none could figure out why, Seungmin was pressed tight against a desk as guards from the upper floors came rushing down. He hadn’t been able to get a clear shot but that could be linked to his growing anxiety about it all. Felix had seemed to have an easy time adjusting, his eyes narrowed as he did his best to look at the guards in the dimly lit room. Bullet casings came raining onto the floor as the Order’s men yelled at them that they would be severely punished for their wrong doings.

“Chan, NOW!”

Felix’s order came as a shock to Seungmin, who simply peered over his desk and watched as Chan had managed to make his way over to the group of five men who opposed them at the current time. Felix had injured a few others, though by the time they were to be found. Seungmin was sure they would be dead, so there was little to worry about.

Chan had moved with near inhuman speed, grabbing one of the five from behind with a gun pressed snugly against his back. He said little as he pulled the trigger, blood splattering against his hands once more as he shot twice more. The men turned to go after him but he was already used to such battles, Felix and Seungmin took out the other two from behind, a rush filling them that they couldn’t tell if it was worrisome or not.

Seungmin had gotten himself lined up for a shot, hoping to lessen the pressure on Chan when he realized that if he were to even chance the shot, it would’ve hit Chan and so he watched with worried eyes. Chan had found himself in a place of ease in his fight, though Felix and Seungmin’s interference with the other two was appreciated. He had grabbed one of the men’s arms, twisting it until he would snap against it causing it to break but before he could go any further, another man came in to restrain him and he huffed. Though his restraints wouldn’t last long, Felix had run over with Seungmin following through. Their training wasn’t the best but it was good enough for now as Seungmin had come in as a distraction, yelling as he threw a punch at the man who glared at the group of them.

Felix wasted no time in pulling out his pistol, aiming for a shot as Chan ducked as quickly as he could before the boy pulled the trigger.

Once again blood would splatter on Chan’s face, some even on Felix’s and as they turned to deal with the last of their troubles for the time being. They found Seungmin on the ground, pinning the guardsmen down as he rained punches down onto the man. Tears forming in his eyes despite the fact the man was no longer responsive.

“Seungmin.” Chan started but nothing changed.

“Seungmin!” He yelled and the boy faltered, yet continued.

Felix opted to intervene as he pulled at the boy’s arms, tugging him away from the body that now began form bruises.

“Don’t waste all your energy on a dead man.” Chan tells him, his voice speaking volumes of his history though there isn’t time for questions. Not when the man pulls out the pistol from his belt once more, aiming just a bit past Seungmin, causing the boy’s eyes to widen. Had he angered Chan to the point that he would shoot him point blank?

His squeezed his eyes tight when he heard the trigger go off, but instead of finding himself to the ground with blood pooling beneath him. He was fine, it was when he glanced over did he see a fresh new bullet wound in the back of one of the guard’s heads.

“Leave them dead, none can walk out of here alive.” Chan tells him as he uses his sleeve to wipe the blood off his face.

Felix and Seungmin exchange looks but they follow after, taking the guns from the fallen men as they start back up. A new sense of determination blooming in their eyes as they keep careful note of their surroundings.

It’s all surreal to them both, their bodies beginning to move on reflex as they follow Chan’s lead down the hallways. The recoil of the gun becomes normal after each kill, though they wouldn’t say they enjoyed the feeling but there was a rush they couldn’t explain. They wouldn’t have to, after all this was only between themselves for tonight.

// // // // // // // // // // // // // // // // // //

Things were not so fortunate on the side of the others, Changbin had managed to get himself injured. It was nothing to life threatening but a bullet or two had grazed along his arms and legs, Jisung had done his best to patch him up in the midst of the gunfight but it wouldn’t hold for long.

Minho had been the odd one out, no one knew what his specialties were nor how he survived the battle. They could only hope he would be a good asset in the current standoff, they weren’t given the luxury of cover, instead they could only press themselves against a wall and peek out in hopes of getting a good shot. Woojin had been doing the most of it, he’d been a natural with the rifle and no one questioned why. But despite him being a near ace with it, each time one would go down it seemed like more would come. They were going to become overwhelmed if a solution didn’t come quick.

Jisung had resorted to trying to help out with the overflow of guards, he was no ace at his own pistol but he wasn’t too bad a shot. A few more would go down but with his friend aching besides him, he could do little to focus.

Finally, Minho would take his turn.

He’d been fiddling with something on his watch, taking careful glances towards the men as he did so before he eventually had a look of mischief take over his features.

Suddenly, the room went black.

The men struggled to turn on their flashlights and that’s when they were finally able to turn the tides. Minho attacked with such finesse that Jisung couldn’t help but be concerned, not once had the young man joined them in practice so how was it that he was so good?

It was a question best left for another day.

Shouts and cries of pain came from both sides, Woojin doing his best with his rifle as Jisung and Minho took themselves to the forefront of it all. Minho throwing punch after punch with Jisung following suit, Woojin was doing his best to clean up after them in the darkness but he couldn’t risk the shots so he was left waiting until the lights came back on.

And in a few seconds they would, though not to a sigh that he would’ve liked to have seen.

Minho was hiding behind the walls opposite of them but Jisung found himself caught in the hands of two left over me. Struggling to breathe as he grit his teeth together, the guards taunted them and Woojin glared at the sight but there was no guarantee that if he shot one that the other would give him enough time to reload before shooting their friend.

“Psst.”

It was Changbin, the boy was still in pain but he did his best to explain that he would take care of the guard closest to him whilst Woojin would get the clear shot at the other. Nodding, he put his trust in his friend that he would follow through and not freeze up like earlier.

The two both took a deep breath, Changbin squinting to make sure he lined up the shot perfectly just as Woojin shouted ‘Go!’ before they both pulled the trigger.

Blood and brain matter sprayed behind the two guards and on Jisung’s body, but that was a price to pay to get their friend back. Jisung’s body shook, trying to take in the air that he had been denied for just a few seconds with his head becoming rather light.

“We gotta go now.” Minho urges and they hurry after them, Woojin offers a pat to Changbin’s shoulder and gentle ‘good job’ as their friend does his best to ignore what he’s just done.

It’s all too much for Changbin to handle but he has to push it away from now, to just focus on the feeling that overcame him when it comes to his next kill and the one after that. It becomes easier, numbing him down with each new floor they take.

Woojin is the next to take an injury, it’s a shot to leg but luckily it seems to have missed any major arteries so they continue on. Jisung ripping up the cloth of one of the fallen guard’s outfits to tie around the wound, he’d have to do more when they left but for now he’s left to just this.

It seems like forever before the groups meet up for a second time, they each have their fair share of injuries. Chan is sporting bruises near his left eye, a busted lip and Felix has an arm with blood dripping down it, he doesn’t explain what happened but Seungmin seems to be the one with the least amount on him. If anything, he only has bruising along his knuckles but that wasn't something to be concerned about.

“Where’s Jeongin?” Is the first question that is asked when they meet up again, Chan parts his lips to stay something but their answer soon comes from the door at the end of the hall opening. The boy in question waves them over in urgency, eyes wide in panic and they waste little time in running over to him as fast as they can.

He doesn’t say anything, he doesn’t have to not when all the information they need is scattered around the walls. Minho doesn’t care for it, instead he rushes to the computer and starts on the data transfer. It’d be to much to try and go through in the limited time they have.

“Hyunjin, you there?” Felix asks, fiddling with the watch and at first he’s met with static.

But the worry is gone as soon as it comes.

“Yeah, whaddya want?” He asks, giving a yawn as he keeps an eye on the surveillance from his spot in the car.

“Minho’s starting the data transfer, get ready.” He tells him and Hyunjin just groans in response but he does little more than that.

Chan and Woojin have themselves posted against the door, keeping an eye out with their guns close to their person. Jisung does his best to treat the injuries, trying to make sure to keep them from bleeding out too much or catching an infection before they reach back to Mission Beach. Felix is the first one to undergo a check up, his wasn’t too bad but the amount of blood that had been dripping is a cause for concern and so Jisung does his best to patch him up. The blood can’t be wiped away now but it’s something Felix doesn’t mind. Woojin was next on the list, the bullet would have to wait to be taken out but Jisung does change the cloth he used to stop the bleeding by ripping up his own shirt to tie around the man’s thigh tightly.

Seungmin busies himself in cooing to Jeongin, praising him for how well of a job he did. Jeongin beams despite his shaky form, it’s all too much to him but the memories had kept his mood from worsening when he was crawling around.

It seems like forever before Minho finally finishes, he lets out a sigh of relief before he presses one final key on the computer.

“We better leave now or else we won’t have the time to outdrive the cops.” He tells them and they don’t do anything to argue against him.

“What did you do?” Felix asks him, eyeing the man with suspicion in his eyes.

At this Minho offers a smile, following the boy’s out of the office as they make their way to the fire escape and hurry along it.

“I deleted all the files they had on hand, everything about the Order and their plans are gone. From here at least.” And for the first time, Felix offers Minho a high five that he returns with such awkwardness that Felix can’t help but laugh.

It was an odd feeling leaving that building that night, though they don’t leave right away once most get settled into the cars. Chan is the one who returns with Minho following after, a few more gunshots are heard before they run back to the cars and no one asks any questions.

The ride back isn’t as fun as the ride there, the radio plays gently in the background as the boy’s all glance out the window. The sounds of sirens are far behind them and they eventually fade into the distance. With the first battle won and more to come, the boy’s would have to push themselves harder than before. Recruiting would have to begin, though those worries were left for when they came back home. For now, they would rest and watch the moon in peaceful silence.

#stray kids #bang chan #felix #lee know #jeongin #seungmin #woojin #jisung #changbin #hyunjin #*fic #im Tired

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arctic-urpo · 7 years ago

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A..ALL of the oc asks for trolly?? ;v; they look so sweet and i couldnt narrow it down sakjdfh

!!! I presume you mean Tolly!! Thank you so much for asking about him, he’s my precious son and I’ve missed him

I’ll put this under a cut though bc this will get long x)

1. What is their favorite word

Hmm, I’m not sure he’d have one absolute favorite but I think he likes soft words, like ‘bubble’

2. How do they sleep

He has troubles sleeping and gets bothered by disturbances easily, so he wears that, what is it called, that blindfold-like thing to block out light, and earplugs etc. He sleeps better when he’s in company he finds safe, though.

3. Favorite companion

The closest friend he has is Will, and then of course he loves his eventually-to-be-boyfriend Neal :’) Both are his favorites, just in different ways!

4. What secrets do they keep, untold to anyone?

He’s really, really insecure about his body, he has freckles and moles all around his upper body and he’s chubby, both of which he tries to hide by wearing a lot of baggy clothes. (I wanna make clear that I don’t think these are “ugly” features at all personally but, he was bullied about these at one point and he has a really bad complex about being seen now)

5. How do they feel about magic

Huh… I think he finds it interesting and fun, he loves to read fiction and a lot of his favorite books include magic. I think if he played more games or trpgs he’d play mages (or clerics specifically if those are in the game).

6. How do they feel about killing

Bad!! Horrible!! Death is something he really mourns a lot, even with people he never knew, and he cannot comprehend killing someone…

7. How do they feel at night, in silence, all alone?

Lonely and scared. He doesn’t like darkness so he usually goes to sleep early. And while he is mostly introverted and has avoidant personality disorder and finds other people usually stressing, he also struggles with being alone a lot as well. So he’ll just listen to calming music and go to sleep before it gets too late.

8. Tell me about them in a modern AU

Well, he practically does live in modern world, perhaps a bit more advanced than ours. He’s currently a college student, he spends a lot of time hanging out with his friend group and often proofreads essays etc for his friends because he’s good at it (both writing them and editing them - everyone keeps getting surprised how strict he is proofing them when he’s usually kind and calm). He reads a lot of books and magazines on his free time and goes to therapy once a week…

9. What is their favorite meal

Filled bell peppers! He usually makes them without any meat if he’s making them himself but he’ll eat them any way.

10. What guides them

A wish to be a good influence on the lives of others, which he hugely looks reference for from books and other sorts of fiction. He also wants to get better with his mental illness, and he has gotten really far from where he used to be.

11. What hinders them

His own inability to believe in himself, mostly. He wants to get better and understands kind of what he should do but, he just ends up always backing off because he can’t believe in himself.

12. Do they have hidden talents

As mentioned before, he’s really good with academic text, but that’s not so much ‘hidden’ talent as it is just his talent. He’s also pretty good at giving massages, which many don’t know. He also reads… really fast…. and he’s super fast at sorting. He’s also really good at comforting people, although he doesn’t realize it himself.

13. How do they carry themselves

Hmm… He mostly kind of keeps to himself and tries to take as little space as possible. He seems meek and, well, he is too. He tries to stay out of the way, seem small. He fiddles with his fingers a lot and has a bad posture.

14. What are their vices

He has hard time gathering determination for anything and in turn loses it really quickly. He gives up on things and doesn’t usually try to pursue things even if they make him happy. He doesn’t say when things make him uncomfortable because he’s so afraid of causing any kind of conflict… In fact, he avoids anything that can lead to conflict, even if sometimes they are things he would need to do.

15. What was a turning point in their life

Meeting Will, probably. While they both struggle with their own mental illnesses, they’ve found a lot of comfort in their friendship and the strength to get better respectively. Will was the first one to know of Tolly’s struggles and he helped Tolly find friends.

16. Do they ascribe to any religion

He’s agnostic, for the most part. Religion is something that confuses him since, well, it’s not something easy to understand.

17. How do they react to trauma

Not well… He carries his trauma with him for long, finding it hard to let go of them. Every single hurtful word will haunt his thoughts for many, many years if not forever. He’s trying to learn not to mind them but, any wounds trauma has caused him always returns to echo in his thoughts.

18. What is their relationship to their parents

These days he has good relationship with them. In the past he had a lot of difficulties, his parents were distant and busy which partially caused his AvPD. They also used to be pretty conservative so he felt scared about coming out for a long time. Anyways once he finally got the courage to talk and start therapy, his relations have gotten a lot better, especially with his mother who is a psychiatrist and has actively tried to right the things she did wrong so far. His father is not that good at these things, but he tries his best.

19. Do they have siblings

He has an older sibling I haven’t yet defined that much, not even their gender identity;; All I know they’re a lot older than Tolly, something like 8-13 years older. They get along with Tolly but work in an another country so they don’t see a lot.

20. Tell me about their love interests

He gets crushes easily, so he has had a lot. He tends to get crushes on gentle and confident people (or at least people who seem confident, he can’t really recognize faked confidence). His current love interest who’ll in the story become his boyfriend is Neal! Neal is asexual, really calm and quiet and good at taking care of others. Tolly also did have a crush on Will but it didn’t really go anywhere.

21. What sexuality/gender suits them

Tolly is completely homosexual and a cisman!

22. Tell me about their body, are they tall, or smol

Tolly is pretty tall (if I remember correctly he was like 6′4″ - 193cm). As mentioned before, he has a chubby stomach but to the point that he can hide it with big clothes, mostly. His legs especially are long.

23. What is their combat style and weapon of choice

I’m not sure if he’d ever get into combat… If there’s a possibility of magic then that is his choice, especially healing spells. He’d in any cases rather play support, and not hurt others.

24. Do they have any fears/phobias

Strangers, and other people in general. He’s mostly fine with people he has gotten to know and he has gotten better about this so he’s not constantly scared when he’s out somewhere with people, but he still can’t approach people and will avoid places with a lot of people. Also people yelling or being loud in general makes him uncomfortable. He’s afraid of being hated or being thought of as disgusting or gross and especially being called by those words. He is also really, really uncomfortable with sex scenes with a male-female couple.

25. Do they follow their instinct or hard facts

Mostly he goes by his emotions, so instinct. Logic he can approach well in studies etc, but when it comes to his own life and things that affect him, he goes by what his feelings say.

26. How do they cope with sorrow

He shrivels into his shell, isolates himself from others and cries alone a lot. He used to lock himself up in his room, would hardly sleep, and listen to a lot of music. He also ends up in the cycle of not eating and then binge-eating, repeating this again and again.

27. What makes them burst out laughing

Very few things, he doesn’t really show emotions that strongly. Laughing out loud would gather attention after all and his self-esteem gets in the way too and he feels stupid if he laughs loudly. If he’s at home and watching a comedy show alone or with close friends, he’ll laugh a lot though. Just, often it is quiet and muffled since he covers his mouth when he laughs.

28. Tell me about their grooming routine

He takes a shower every morning and makes sure to dry his hair soon after with a hairdryer. He also lotions his face daily and his body once a week.

29. What makes them blush

Oh, gosh, many things. He blushes really easily, especially from either embarrassment or being flustered. Being complimented, mocked, making mistakes, seeing his crush, sometimes just talking with his friends…

30. What makes them cry

Getting mocked or shamed for something, or in general feeling like he’s stupid or has embarrassed himself. He’ll also cry really easily at animal videos that are even a bit emotional

31. Tell me about their aesthetic

Books. A lot of books. Also winter clothes and snow, small and comfy apartments, pictures of the sky.

32. If they had a tumblr, what would they post

He’d probably mostly use it to reblog things, like pictures he found pretty or things about the books he has read or series he has watched. Not really anything too involved, just nice looking things. Perhaps some occasional pictures of his life, especially study things :>

#urpo answers #mintyyprince #Tolly #sorry it took me a while to answer!!!! i had to go to sleep last night before i managed to finish this #and today i had friends over to watch a movie :'>#but thank u so much!!!!#i'm so happy to talk about Tolly it's been t o o long #i love my gay son #he's mostly a nervous mess so please be gentle with him #(also hey easy way to figure out how old my ocs are is to just check if they have a last name)#(if they don't they're probably older)#(if they do they're probably 2-3 years old at most)

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ponticle · 8 years ago

Text

8pm [12 Hours to Solve This Anderstair Challenge]

Alistair x Anders, Modern AU, Coffee Shop Universe

[challenge masterpost]

[Read it on Ao3]

Chapter Summary: Anders get curious. Alistair hesitantly tells the story of how he and Icis got together. Rated T: just some bittersweet things.

“So can you speak to Icis now?” I ask. “I mean… if you wanted to…”

“Not really,” he answers. “I pretty much ruined everything. Who calls off a wedding that close to the date?”

“Assholes,” I tease.

He snorts. “Yup… that's me—just a walking asshole… thank god you've found a use for those…”

“What is she doing now?” I ask.

“She took a job at Beth Israel, actually… you're practically neighbors,” he laughs, but it's humorless.

I shudder. “I really hope we don't run into her…”

He looks at me. “We?”

I blush. “Yeah… Please come home with me.”

He shrugs. He’s not ready to agree to my terms, yet, but I think he’s close. Since we’re in a sharing mood, I decide to let myself be curious.

“What happened with Icis?”

“You mean the break up?” he asks. “I told her I couldn’t marry her… it was horrible. She actually cried—I’d never seen her cry before that.”

We stare at each other for a long time. I’m trying to read his expression.

“I actually meant in the beginning…” I explain. “You guys got together so fast.”

“Oh,” he raises an eyebrow and smiles at a spot in the distance, “that’s a really good story, actually… are you sure you want to hear it?”

I know it will make me feel jealous, but I think I do. I nod.

Alistair is having a shitty morning. His scrubs came out of the dryer slightly damp, his upstairs neighbor used up all the hot water, and he spilled coffee on his jacket. All of this misfortune is made worse by the fact that he still doesn’t know what he’s doing at work. He’s been at it over two months, but the procedures at this hospital are significantly different than they were at Tufts. He’s still learning.

Inside the double doors of the hospital, he’s immediately greeted with a stack of paperwork. A records admin, who is a grouchy older man—hell-bent on ruining Alistair’s life, it seems—throws the papers into Alistair’s arms and harrumphs. Everyone acts like Alistair should already been proficient at everything. He isn’t sure why that’s an expectation.

He rounds the corner toward his office, just trying to keep his head down, when a short, blonde woman runs around the corner, directly into him. Predictably, all his papers flutter to the floor. Unfortunately, the woman was also carrying a thermos filled with tea. Now, the tea is mixing with the papers on the floor.

He immediately squats down to assess the damage. He tries to pick up as many of the papers as he can, but he can tell already that it’s a losing battle.

“I’m so sorry,” says the woman. She kneels down next to him and tries to sop up some of the tea with her coat—it’s white, but short. She must be a resident.

He looks up at her for the first time. “Oh my god, Icis?”

Her eyes widen, “Dr. Theirin!” she shrieks. “Oh my god—I’m so sorry.”

“It’s okay,” he lies. None of this is okay—that grouchy records guy is going to murder him.

“Can I help you in some way?” Icis asks.

“I doubt it,” he smirks. “What are you doing here?”

“I’m a radiology resident,” she explains. “Interventional.”

“Oh…” he cocks his head to the side, “Taking after Dr. Pavus, huh?”

She blushes, “He was always my favorite professor—next to you, of course.”

He laughs. He’s managed to pick up all the papers, although they’re not salvageable—he can tell already.

“I need to get a new set of scrubs,” she looks down at herself miserably.

“I’ll go with you.” His own shirt is totally stained.

They walk side by side to the laundry to get new clothes. When they arrive, they’re given two new sets—his are blue, hers are green.

“So, how long have you been here?” she asks.

“Just about two months,” he explains. He doesn’t want to get into why with a former student. It doesn’t seem appropriate, even though she met Anders on that fated camping trip.

“Nice—I just arrived two weeks ago,” she explains.

Right. He missed the last couple months of her internship. He thinks about his students a lot, actually. He’s been wondering how they all made out.

“Do you keep in touch with any of the other interns?” he asks.

“Krem and I text a lot,” she answers. “He sends me funny memes.”

“That’s nice,” smiles Alistair. “Where is he now?”

“He’s in Chicago,” she answers, “—cardiology.”

“Yikes—I had a feeling, though,” laughs Alistair.

Alistair has never wanted to do anything surgical or high-risk. He loves the idea of using the most conservative option first.

She looks down at her watch, “Ooh, I’m late—can we catch up later, though?”

“Sure, let me give you my cell number,” he writes on a scrap of coffee-stained paper and hands it over.

She laughs and nods before running down the hallway.

They hang out for the first time as friends a week later.

Alistair meets her outside her apartment. She lives with three roommates.

“They’re loud, but nice,” she explains. “I didn’t know anything about Brooklyn, so they’re helping me.”

“Well, let me show you some things you might not know about yet, then,” Alistair offers. “Do you know the Gold Star Beer Counter?”

She shakes her head.

“You’re going to love it,” he concludes.

As they walk there, he gets curious. “So… I take it you never worked it out with Sera?”

She bites her bottom lip and shakes her head. “We were becoming too different—she was perfect for me when I was in undergrad… but…”

He nods, “Yeah… I know how that feels. No one can understand what this life is like from the outside.”

“Exactly,” she smiles. “What about you? Have you met any handsome boys out here?”

He laughs. She's assuming. “No… and no girls either,” he coughs pointedly.

“Shit. I'm the worst,” she rolls her eyes. “I'm bi too… but it doesn't stop me from making assumptions, just like everyone else…”

“That sort of thing is very deeply ingrained,” agrees Alistair.

They walk silently for the next twenty steps. It occurs to him that this suddenly feels like a date—now that they know their genders aren't an impediment. He doesn't want that. She was his student. It's creepy and makes him feel like a predator.

He spends the rest of the night making it clear that they're friends—colleagues, even. Luckily, they don't hit any snags and he's walked her back to her apartment before he knows it. Everything is as it should be.

“Thanks for showing me around, Dr. Theirin,” she says happily.

“You can just call me Alistair now,” he offers. They’re both doctors now; that’s the usual convention.

“Sure thing, Al,” she jokes.

He shrugs. That will work.

“Let’s hang out again sometime soon, okay?” she says.

“Okay, Icis—just text me.”

They see each other several times over the next few weeks. Their schedules don’t line up often, though. As a resident, she has to work lots of 24 and 36 hour shifts, so she’s not very available. Alistair is lonely in the city. He calls Dorian a lot, but every time he’s not actively doing something—teaching or working out or reading—he starts to think about Anders. It’s starting to feel pathological—and he doesn’t know of any interventions for a broken heart.

One morning, there’s a knock on his door. It’s only 6am.

He staggers to open it. On the other side, Icis almost collapses.

“Icis?” he gasps, ushering her inside.

“I think I’m sick,” she mumbles.

He can tell she’s sick just looking at her—her face is pale, but sweaty; her eyes are threatening to close. Most alarmingly, she’s slurring her words.

“Icis, we need to take your temperature,” he says seriously.

She nods and lets her weight drop into his arms.

Her feet are almost dragging on the floor as he brings her into his bedroom. As he does it, he realizes that this is a stupid place to put her, but based on the layout of his apartment, it was closer than his living room. A lot of Brooklyn apartments are strangely constructed—his is no exception.

While he’s looking for his medical kit, he hears her mumble something that he can’t understand.

“What, Icis?” he calls.

She says something equally unintelligible.

He whirls around the corner and shoves the thermometer in her mouth before she can argue. It’s not the good one he uses at work—he keeps that one in his office—it’s an old one, filled with mercury. Transiently, he hopes she doesn’t bite down on it and die.

While they’re waiting, he sits next to her on the side of the bed and pushes the hair off of her face. Her bangs are stuck against her forehead—sweaty and tangled. He notices she’s wearing scrubs.

“How many hours were you at the hospital this time?” he asks.

She shrugs. She can’t answer because she still has the thermometer in her mouth. She holds up her hands—ten fingers, four times, and then three more.

“Forty-three hours?” he raises his eyebrows, “Dear god, woman…” he smiles.

She smiles around the thermometer, despite how terrible she probably feels.

Eventually, he pulls the thermometer out of her mouth and holds it up to the light.

“102.3,” he says.

She rolls her eyes and starts to sit up.

“Are you insane?” he laughs, pushing her back, “You’re not in any condition to get home right now. If I had a car, I’d drive you, but this is probably better anyway—you need someone to look after you… and I’ve met your roommates—they seem like idiots.”

She laughs, despite herself. “Can I at least get out of these scrubs? I feel so disgusting.”

Alistair stands to leave the room, but when Icis stands up, she starts to fall toward his dresser almost immediately. He has to grab her around the waist just to keep her upright.

“I think you need help,” he offers.

She nods. All her normal decorum is gone—she looks like she just went through a washing machine’s spin cycle.

Alistair realizes it could be weird to help her undress—in his room—but he straightens his spine and assumes his most clinical facade. He’s seen humans naked—it’s just anatomy.

When she’s down to her underwear, Alistair hands her one of his softest T-shirts and helps her pull it down over her head. She slips into his bed, beneath the covers, and almost instantly falls asleep. She’s shaking a little, so he puts an extra blanket over her and makes his way back out to the kitchen. He would have slept another hour, but he can hardly see the point now. He doesn’t have to work today, so he sets himself timers to go check on her every hour.

The next morning, her fever has finally broken. When he comes in to check on her at 8am, she’s sitting up in bed, sipping water.

“Hi,” she says sleepily. “I’m so sorry to barge in on you like this.”

He shakes his head and sits next to her legs on the side of the bed. “It’s okay—I’m glad you’re feeling better.”

“Thanks,” she says. “I just didn’t know where else to go…” she mumbles.

He’s not sure what that means. “Why didn’t you go home?”

She laughs. “Well… I knew I needed help… and yours was the only face I could picture.”

He blushes. “I’m glad I was available.”

She smiles, “Me too…”

They’re silent for a minute. He isn’t sure what he should do now that she’s awake. He knows her really well, but not as a friend—especially not as a half-dressed friend in his bed.

“Alistair?” she whispers.

He refocuses on her eyes and leans in.

“Thank you.” She leans in as if she’s about to kiss him, but instead nuzzles her head into the crook of his neck.

It feels like she’s communing with some small forgotten fragment of his soul that no one has touched since… since Anders. In that one moment, everything changes. She’s suddenly not the sick person taking refuge in his apartment, but someone who sees him for who he really is.

“Icis?” he croaks. “Will you stay with me for a while?” He turns his head to make shaky eye contact.

“As long as you’ll let me.”

Presently

“And after that, we were pretty much together,” explains Alistair.

I’m trying not to let it show on my face, but I’m really jealous—more than I thought I would be.

“What?” he asks, looking at me.

“I just didn’t know how romantic that was going to be…” I grumble.

He laughs and kisses me. “The most romantic part is that she reminded me of you.”

#anderstair #anders x alistair #lavellan #alistair x lavellan #past relationships #alistair theirin #anders #dragon age modern au #dragon age fanfic #ongoing series #coffee shop universe

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