#but even then its so fun to think about them...

[hashtagcigarette]

Lisa Frank

summary: joel doesn't like you poking fun at his age. you make it your mission to prove to him that his age isn't a point against him.

warnings: unprotected piv, lil makeout sesh, reader is afab & able bodied but otherwise not described, pet names (angel, little girl, kid (once... dont look at me), baby, etc.), joel smokes, lowkey sub!joel for a second before he finds his voice lol, creampie, im probably forgetting some sorry folks

word count: 3k

note: this is truly just pure filth and a very small teenie weenie bit of plot surrounding joel's insecurity about his age. im horny for old peepaw joel what can i say. also i havent posted fic on tumblr in like 6 years so,,,, hello? ++ no beta we die like men or whatever they're saying now.

The ground between the small, square plots in your neighborhood became soft and jagged with fresh grass in the late spring, absent only in the shadows of the trailers and in the places where kiddie pools filled with hose water flattened the growth against the earth. You had a kiddie pool against your will– when your air conditioning had gone out, Joel had dropped a pink, plastic one at your front door with a sticky note inside that read, “DON’T DIE OF HEAT STROKE”.

And as trashy as it looked in your front yard between the orange picnic table and the rusted wire clothesline, you couldn’t help but stumble into it most mornings when you woke up sweating. You liked it even more when you had the willpower to drive to the liquor store and get a bag of ice to dump into it. This morning in particular, you’d even grabbed yourself an ice cream sandwich.

The freshly risen sun projected a yellow-orange hue through the high grass and onto the soles of your bare feet as they poked from the edge of the pool, the angle at which it shone reminiscent of six-ish-AM. Joel would be leaving for work soon, you knew, and your eyes rested on his front door as you slid your ice cream sandwich out of its wrapper.

He was one of the only neighbors you (sometimes) got along with. There was something about a stranger in town that gave folks the creeps, he had said, though you’d lived there a year already and no one seemed to be getting any friendlier.

As if you’d made it happen with your mind, a few seconds after you’d glanced in the direction of Joel’s trailer, the door swung open and smacked against the wall. His work shirt waved through the air like a flag as he tossed it over his shoulder, descending the steps in only a white undershirt and a pair of jeans that had absolutely seen better days. The jingle of his keys as he shoved them into his pocket was the only sound, save for the soft trickle of the hose into your pool.

You grinned as he stepped out from beneath the overhang and into the light. He put a cigarette into his mouth, looking you over.

“This is gluttony if I’ve ever seen it,” he said, fishing a lighter out of his pocket.

You forced a frown, flicking water onto his pant leg with your toe. “You bought the pool.”

“Yeah. Just didn’t expect the ice cream sandwich.” His lighter was red and dented, glinting in the sun as he flicked it beneath his thumb. Bending at the waist, he shielded his smoke from the breeze with a broad hand and rolled the sparkwheel in a continuous tempo, clicking and clicking and clicking as the sound of the hose dripping into the pool droned on.

You huffed, pushing yourself up on your arms. “C’mere. I got one.”

And boy, did you. It was a gaudy thing encrusted with purple rhinestones and a ripoff-Lisa-Frank decal, and it reflected the sunlight from the green, metal table that sat beside the kiddie pool. He knelt in the grass as you reached for it, watching your nearly bare body stretch and your wet hand tighten around the lighter’s bedazzled surface.

Resting his arm over his knee, he offered his hand, palm-up, and you placed the lighter into it with a grin.

“I think it’s your style,” you chirped, biting your ice cream sandwich as he looked the thing over.

He shook his head and lit his smoke, biting down on the filter like an amputee would bite down on a scrap of leather. “How’d you know? Think it goes with my outfit?”

“Oh, yeah. Pink brings out yer eyes. Makes you look younger.”

“Younger?” Joel wiggled his eyebrows, puffing out a ring of smoke and placing the lighter back into your hand. “How much younger, you reckon?”

Mocking thought, you pressed your finger to your chin, looking him over through your eyebrows. “You could pass for seventy five, give or take a couple’a years.”

“You’re not as funny as you think you are, little girl.”

“Okay, fine. Sixty.”

He shook his head, glancing back over his shoulder as the sun rose steadily over the hill behind the parking lot. It must’ve been nearly seven by then, making him nearly late to work.

You wiggled your toes, thumbing ice cream from the corner of your mouth and then licking it off. “Maybe fifty nine, if you’re lucky.”

“I am fifty nine.”

“Yeowch. Sorry.”

The muscles in his jaw twitched, sweat reflecting the morning light and accentuating the nearly invisible motion as he suckled the filter of his cigarette. When he glanced back at you, brown eyes blinking slowly in true kicked-puppy fashion, you giggled.

“‘M sorry. Didn’t know your age was a sore subject.”

“‘S not a sore subject.”

“Seems like it is.”

Joel exaggerated his pout, batting his eyes as he took a slow drag and blew smoke out the side of his mouth. “You’re just kickin’ an old man when he’s down, sweetheart.”

“Oh, you poor baby.” You cupped his jaw with your wet hand, soothing the coase facial hair beneath your thumb as a faux sob fell from his lips. His acting was a little sub-par (and he was much less funny than he realized, carrying on like he was) but Joel knew how to pull on your heart strings. Clicking your tongue, you said, “I don’t think you’re too old, honey. You’re just right.”

The pretend look of devastation remained on his face even as his eyes opened, both sides of his mouth contorting downwards into a pathetic glower. “Just right for what?”

But then you were too close to him, and his face was in your palm, and he was realizing that you hadn’t really touched him before this as you took a slow bite of your ice cream sandwich with your free hand. He could feel the bit falling away for a moment, face falling as you inched closer, heat pressing down on the both of you from all sides as the sun continued to rise.

You clicked your tongue again, grinning. ��For a Lisa Frank lighter.”

Joel’s face faltered yet again, wide eyes blinking at you as you started to laugh. He cleared his throat, blinking. “Oh. Real funny.”

Your shoulders vibrated and you hung your head as you giggled, tossing the half-eaten ice cream sandwich into the grass beside the pool. “Wait–” you said with a smile in your voice as he started to stand, the hand on his face trailing down to his collar to pull him back down.

Joel, who had stopped thinking this was funny several moments ago, swallowed hard, watching as you flicked your sticky fingers in the water. He met your eyes again sheepishly when you said his name, sweat reflecting the blinding sun at his temple.

“Joel,” you said, still smiling. “I’m kidding. I’m sorry.”

And as needlessly embarrassed as he felt, he still couldn’t help but relish the feeling of you cupping his face, holding him with one hand as, with the other, you fidgeted and flicked beads of water into the air. You laughed softly, brushing your thumb over his cheek.

“Let me show you what I think you’re just right for, hm?”

And that was how he ended up in your trailer, sitting on the edge of your bed, becoming more and more late to work as the minutes crawled by. You straddled his lap, facing him, holding his jaw in your hands and looking him over with exaggerated admiration.

Joel was sweating, and he was sure that even if your air conditioning hadn’t been broken and even if it hadn’t been over a hundred out that day, he still would’ve felt feverish. His hands held your hips in a vice grip, nervous twitch entirely evident as his left wrist vibrated against you.

You gnawed on your lower lip, fingers moving up to thread into his hair.

When you breathed out a hushed “You’re so pretty”, it elicited from him the smallest of chuckles, only slightly audible over the sound of your ragged breathing. As if testing the waters, he slid his hand from your hip to your waist, squeezing you there instead.

“Oh yeah?” He dug the tips of his fingers into your damp skin, blunt nails and calluses pressing just a bit too hard, surely leaving marks.

Your bathing suit was an old red one, something you’d bought for yourself before you’d moved to Austin, something loose and outrageously easy to untie. Joel’s tremor was the only thing keeping you from tearing it from your body and tossing it to the floor– you didn’t want to scare him off. “Yeah,” you parotted, petting the scruff on his cheek with the gentlest pressure. Then, impatiently: “You wanna kiss me, cowboy?”

Joel swallowed, body becoming tense again beneath you. His face warmed beneath your fingers as he nodded, fingers drumming at your side. “Yeah.” He cleared his throat, meeting your gaze. “Yes. Please.”

You’d pictured kissing him before– it was something you did in secret, watching him from the window beside your bed in the evenings when he’d get home late from work, waiting for him to come back out with a beer and sit on his front steps. It was something you were embarrassed of and something you would never ever tell him about, but your fantasies stirred in the back of your mind as you finally did kiss him, pressing up onto your knees with his face in your hands.

He was more timid than you’d imagined, but you weren’t surprised by this. Anyone would seem timid compared to the way you’d pictured him– rugged, aggressive, uncaring as he took what he needed. That was the Joel you made up in your head when you touched yourself at night.

This Joel was visibly nervous, hand still trembling against your waist as he returned the kiss, soft lips drinking you in. This Joel pressed you against him like you might fall away, kissed you back unsteadily at first, but quickly gained confidence. This Joel, as the moments dragged on, brought his shaking hands up to hold your head, to steady the both of you.

You could feel him relaxing as you licked into his mouth and pride swelled in your chest, pressing out of you like steam escaping a whistling kettle. Your hands found his shoulders and, breaking away, you squeezed them, ensuring he was entirely real.

“I want you to fuck me,” you breathed against his lips, eyes flicking open, searching his features for any hint of hesitation.

He met your gaze with a small smile and, to your surprise, gripped the back of your neck with an unyielding fervor, pressing you towards him again and laying a wet kiss at the corner of your mouth. “Oh yeah?” he said again with a grin seeping through his features.

The tremor in his wrist had calmed somewhat, you noticed as you reached back and took his free hand from your waist, threading your fingers together. He guided you with this hand, pushing you gently off of him and onto your bed where you landed flat on your back. Your wet bathing suit surely left spots of water on the quilt beneath you, but no part of you cared enough to pay it any mind.

As Joel crawled over you, callused hands running over your bare stomach, you smiled at him.

“You been thinkin’ about this?” you asked, reaching for his face again as he dipped down to kiss you.

His fingers ran down your middle, gingerly dancing over your bikini bottoms. “Been thinkin’ about you since the day you moved in, darlin’.” The tips of his fingers dragged tortuously lower, splitting the seam of your cunt with his knuckles through the fabric. Gently, he cupped your mound, pressing his palm against you as he buried his face in your neck. “Spread your legs, angel. Be good f’me.”

You did as he said, even as a smirk crossed your face. It took everything in you to mutter “Be good?” as he pressed his thick fingers against your slit again, bikini bottoms digging against your little nub with the most delicious friction. Attempting to regain your composure as he worked you, you continued: “Don’t get cocky, old man.”

“Oh, none’a that,” said Joel as one finger ventured beneath the fabric, exploring your slick. The timid Joel seemed to have disappeared completely, having been replaced by whoever the hell this was. “You speak to your elders with respect, you understand?”

You keened, partly at his words and partly at the feeling of his callused fingertip brushing over your clit, pressing the bud in what seemed to be an experimental manner. As he began to prod your button, movements jerky and desperate, his free hand gripped the back of your neck.

“Come on,” he said, meeting your eyes with a self-satisfied grin. “Tell me you understand. Say ‘yes, sir.”

“Yes, sir,” you complied immediately.

“That’s what I wanna hear, kid. That’s it.”

He worked you for a minute or so, enjoying the feel of your little bud beneath his fingertips, and a frankly pitiful whimper escaped you when his hand retreated from between your legs. Squirming, you brought your knees to your chest, watching as his hands found his belt.

“You want me to fuck you?” he asked as he slid the leather from the loops on his jeans, discarding it on the dirty carpet and fishing for his zipper.

“Please, Joel.” Your voice was nothing more than a harsh whisper, floating from you as you watched him jerk his jeans down his hips.

He was leaning over you again before you could get a glimpse of his cock, pulling himself out of his boxers as he pressed a kiss to the corner of your mouth. You couldn’t see it, but you could feel it– slipping between your wet lips, bulbous head pressing against your clit. “So polite,” he said, trembling as he ran himself up and down your slit. “Say it again.”

“Please.”

You must’ve asked nicely enough because then he was inching forward, pressing the fat head of his cock into you with no regard for the painful stretch, relishing in the pull of your little hole around him. A strangled sound left his mouth, whimpers pouring out of him like water from a broken tap.

You winced at the stretch, gripping his shirt in two closed fists. He gave you a distracted glare when a “fuck” escaped you, leaning over you and caging you in with both broad arms.

“Language,” he said, though as close as he was to bottoming out, your curses didn’t deter him.

When he was fully inside, pulsing length filling you entirely and stretching your poor hole to oblivion, he only paused for a moment before he began to move. Sweat gleamed off his forehead, reflecting the morning light from your bedroom window like soft, slick glitter and accentuating the concentrated twitch of the muscles in his jaw.

The pull of his cock dragging slowly out of your hole had you scrambling for purchase, arms looping around the back of his neck. “Joel. Jesus–”

“I know, I know,” he cooed, shushing you as he pressed a soft kiss to your temple. “You can take it. Just ease into it.”

“Want it so bad,” you panted as he moved back in, feeling his tip rip its way through you again on its trajectory to your cervix. You shook, feeling his lips trail down your jaw. “Want you to force it in, Joel.”

This made him laugh under his breath, a deep chuckle that reverberated against the low ceiling. He met your eyes with a grin as he pressed himself deeper, enjoying the way your face contorted. “You’re real fucked up, you know that, baby?”

“You like it,” you breathed, gnawing on your lower lip.

“Yeah, I do.”

As you relaxed around him, Joel found a pace somewhere between painfully slow and forcefully ragged, something steady that made you keen and squirm beneath his broad form. He pumped himself into you like every stroke was the most important one, brows knit together in concentration, feeling every bit of you drag up and down his massive length.

“So tight, angel. Jesus,” he muttered under his breath, almost to himself. The big arms that pressed the mattress down on either side of your head tightened and relaxed, pulsing in time with his strokes. “Not gonna last too long, little girl.”

The look that you gave him made him shake his head, gritting his back teeth. “Not gonna cum in you,” he said sternly, though the slam of his hips said otherwise.

You bit the inside of your cheek, brows knitting together. “How come?”

“What do you mean, how come, girl?”

“‘M on the pill.”

“‘S the principal of the thing, kid,” he hissed through his teeth, hanging his head as he fucked into you. His strokes were becoming sloppy and forceful, body slapping against yours with reckless, cacophonous abandon. “Fuck, ‘m close. Where do you want it?”

“In me.”

“Not funny.”

“I’m not bein’ funny.”

Each time he thrust into your little hole, a whine left you, fingers threading uncoordinatedly through his hair. Meeting his eyes, you craned up and pressed a soft kiss to his lips, tongue darting out to lick into his mouth. “Please, Joel,” you whimpered, watching as his face lost any look of composure. “Want your cum in me.”

“Angel.” A warning.

“Please.”

Joel hung his head once more, pressing his forehead into the crook of your neck, hands coming to grip your waist so tightly that his fingers would leave faint bruises. His resolve was slipping; his hips twitched, jerking as he pressed into you.

“Fuck. Okay, baby. Okay.”

And then his orgasm was ripping through him, making his muscles spasm and his face go slack. His cum was thick and hot, shooting from his cock like a medication drip and filling your hole to the point of overflow. Each time you thought he was done, another spurt hit your insides, ripping a low whine from deep in his chest.

When he finally collapsed on top of you, cock softening, he buried his nose in the crook of your neck. His grip on your waist still hadn't loosened, still holding you in place as he panted.

You watched the muscles in his back rise and fall, moving with his rapid breath, heart hammering against you. His greying hair caught the morning light, compelling you to put your fingers in it, to brush it back tenderly from his face.

“Thought you had work,” you said quietly, fingers dancing at the base of his neck.

Joel snorted. His eyes were closed. “Thought you thought I was too old.”

“You know I didn’t mean it.”

“Yeah, I know.”

[caffeinatedvigilantewriter]

Ok so Amity gets lots of its funding by hosting a summer camp every year. They host it by the lake in the woods and the local high schools are counselors and head of cabins.

The camp is like a 150 year tradition and it got very popular especially among the rich from around the country.

They kept it going, closing down for 3 summers because of the ghost attacks (the town could have the attacks and the camp running. It would be too dangerous)

They opened it the next year, but with a lot more liability paperwork and that stuff.

This is also the year where Damian Wayne gets sent to the camp.

Bruce went, Dick went, Jason went, Tim went and even Cass went for a year and now it was his turn.

Damian did not want to go. There are no phones allowed, so he won’t be able to communicate with his family. He went anyway. Danny is his head of cabin.

All the senior class members are liminal. With the weird traits and all that shit. They know Danny is phantom but they don’t really talk about it

Shenanigans:

- Danny noticing the faint liminal scent on Damian and kind takes him under his wing to hopefully have Damian feed off of his ecto and get healthier. Damian thinks his head of cabin just gets really attached really easily.

- Sam running the gardens and using her undergrowth powers. Damian think she’s related to Posion Ivy, but evidently does not care when he find out she a vegan and just as passionate about the environment and animals as he is

- Tucker teaches the campers a coding class. 30 fourteen year olds hacking into places they should not hack into. Surprisingly, under Tuckers guidance, they all manage to successfully hack into the Pentagon without detection. Damian glanced at Tucker’s screen and saw that he was not hacking along with them but hacking an organization called the GIW

-Val and Danny teach hand to hand combat and weapons. After the camper learn to use all the weapons, Val and Danny assign one o them (crossbow, knife, bow and arrow, laser gun). Damian is great at all of them, and they let him pick whichever weapon he wants.

- Damian offhandedly mentions that a katana is his preferably weapon. The next week, Danny’s younger sister comes back from her travels with a katana for him.

- dash and kwan run the camp wide games. They have capture the flag and dodgeball (but they changed it to bow and arrow dodgeball to secretly help with the kids aim), but now they added a little tournament.

- each camper uses their weapon and are pitted against each other until there is one winner. Unsurprisingly, it’s Damian.

- the GIW crashes the camp in the middle of the night after getting a really strong ecto signal (Damian, plus Danny, plus the other liminal counselors). The counselors were at a separate location having a meeting or some other shit that doesn’t involve the campers.

-with Damian leading, the campers manage to fend them off. He and the other campers notice that they seemed to be targeting Damian.

-the counselors get back in time to help them.

-Damian doesn’t mention any of this to his family, and neither do the other campers. They all want to come back next year.

BONUS

Damian send weekly letters about what he’s doing at camp but in simple terms so that the Wayne’s think that camp just expanded their activities and Damian’s having fun

BONUS BONUS

Damian, after feeding off of Danny’s ecto for 2 months becomes visibly liminal. He grows a foot and a half taller, gets fangs, can hold his breath for longer, is quieter, eyes start glowing.

The Waynes are slightly suspicious, but they’ve all went to the camp and came back fine, so maybe he just had a growth spurt.

Maybe months later Constantine comes to the WaterTower and ask Damian how long he’s been dead. Damian answers.

“4 months, magician.”

The Waynes are now freaking out because they had no idea Damian died during summer camp.

Cue the rabbit hole into Amity Park, Phantom, Danny, and the GIW

[janecafe]

SELF-EMPOWERMENT PAC: who is the person that is visioning you as their role model 𝜗𝜚˚⋆

𝘶𝘯𝘰 - 𝘥𝘰𝘴 - 𝘵𝘳𝘦𝘴

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₊˚ʚ 𝐔𝐍𝐎 🦪 ₊˚✧ ﾟ.

the person that perceives you as their role model is someone who is a sophisticated individual. from its way to talk to the way they carry themselves in a dressy manner. this is someone who has unbelievable taste of words that may leave people awestruck. well, perhaps they have this bulldoze side when conversing to others that somehow others find offensive. it seems like they are aware but doesn't even bother of what people think about it.

conversely, they're somewhat funny or maybe like to have fun. a party goer i should say. if they are someone who attended school they will be the type of student who is the class clown and stubborn but has a hidden ability of being quick-witted. this is over-confident and friendly individual, they have this on their head where they think everybody wants them lol. despite life struggles, i see them they keep their head up and put a smile on their face. they see tomorrow's as new opportunities to truly enjoy and discover new things. with work, you can rely upon on them. this is someone who is gifted and innovative, they can be detailed-oriented, creative and artistic if needed. it will show on their actions.

perhaps of all i said above, this individual has a secret. a secret that they only kept on themselves, it's about "i am able to fit in but it's hard for them to crack these shells i'd created surrounding myself." they don't quite trust other people easily, it will take time to gain this person safe-keeping. people perspective is divided in different contrast of opinions, some are positive while others don't but most of the time they don't care about what people think of them.

₊˚ʚ 𝐃𝐎𝐒 🐚 ₊˚✧ ﾟ.

generous and compassionate that's how this person sees you. they admire your beauty in and out. they are like; "how can be someone who hides deep wounds in them can still treat people with kindness".

they admire your brawn and dedication to treat others fairly which they wish they have. they think each time you have eye contact with them your eyes tells them; how much responsibilities you are carrying. i can sense this person have a affection feelings for you. they think you are perfectionist and buff with your moves.

this person may hear people's negative assumptions but that won't stop them from looking high. you may once proof your kindness to this person. this someone who stands up for what they believe in, and their opinions often put them in the minority. even their knowledge has a backup facts and beliefs. this is someone who is capable to be a very impressive advocate especially for severely vulnerable people who depend on a social system for survival.

they choose their battles wisely and diligently, their skill act as a weapon and knowledge act as barrier. they can handle stress and opposition so precisely. sometimes, they are biased whether it's opinion or person.

₊˚ʚ 𝐓𝐑𝐄𝐒 🐚 ₊˚✧ ﾟ.

this feels like unscripted lol. this is someone who has a blessed appearance, they can capture people's attention and also a head turner. if not about their appearance, it can be through their divine qualities. this individual is youngster but may have an old soul. they can act immature at the same time mature, you can see their duality.

what a silly individual, they may have a crush on you. this is someone who is maybe a colleague or a classmate. they may notice your silence and you pique their interest, they may like stalking your social media secretly. they may play an instrument like guitars and flutes. they may also wear boots all the time. they may have a pet name start with k.

they are judgmental and can be a gossip lover. i think they don't like the idea of nudity, bold or pornography. it seems like when they see one, it makes them feel shiver and disgusted. they are picky when it comes to people especially when it comes to love, this is someone who have a high standards. they know their self-worth and doesn't just give a fuck about unworthy connections, they prefer long term and permanent. i also think they are someone who is evil in a good way. one of their dreams is to be an advocate for animal welfare especially for stray animals. they want to offer a safe place, shelter and food for them. last but will never be the least, they are trustworthy and never betray in real life situations.

˚⊱🍀⊰˚

[bdbdbdbdmn]

why is it that just trans men are specifically not allowed to headcanon just "masculine" female characters as also being trans men? or do you have a whole list of off-limits headcanons that you've deemed Bad and insist that people not engage with?

also, it's not trans men's fault (or my fault) that you've not seen trans men hc fem women characters as being trans men. (they also aren't obligated to see themselves in fem female charaters to "even it out" just because you think that headcanons have moral weight.) i've seen it plenty of times and they were just as good as any other trans hc. also, just so it's clear, the most popular trans male hcs by far are of CIS MALE characters, not masc cis females. i see female characters get headcanoned as trans men so rarely that i was in shock to find out that it's now a tiktok trend to bash them and the boys and men who come up with them.

and "women can't have anything" my ass, what little representation you do have is still worlds larger and better than trans male representation, and headcanons Can't Take Something From You. they're in the heads of strangers. i can tell by your words and username that your problem is not with the fact that they are headcanoning, but with the fact that they're trans men. you still don't support hcs that weren't specifically approved by you, but it's clearly not the priority. this is a situation where it is the trans men who "can't have anything." it wouldn't make sense your way, otherwise there'd be no abundance of female characters to hc as trans men.

also, have you ever even headcanoned before? trans men aren't out there in search of every vaguely mannish female character to turn them into trans men and convince the world that they simply couldn't be women, they're literally just some fuckin guys watching tv and maybe making drawings. it's the least harmful thing the internet has ever demonized in the entirety of its existence. they "feel the need" to have fun. they "feel the need" to like characters because they're human and that's just the way people are. if it's because it's a masc girl character instead of despite it, it still doesn't matter because it's 1: not real, and 2: not about you! it's about them and their own ideas in, again, their HEADS, based on themselves and their brain. if a guy relates to a girl, or if he used to relate to the girl, or even if he just thinks they're neat, it's fine to headcanon them as guys. cis or trans. that's why cis women aren't "taking" anything from cis men when they hc guys as girls. it's why disabled people aren't stealing from the abled when they go "what if my favorite guy was deaf" "what if this character was autistic" "i'm gonna draw mickey mouse in a wheelchair" is this stealing to you? are abled people affected by reverse ableism now because of internet hcs?

"if you want a character to be trans so bad then why don't you come up with your own one" THEY DO! OH MY GOD THEY DO AND THEY WERE GETTING CYBERBULLIED FOR IT WAY BEFORE IT WAS A TREND TO GO AFTER THEM FOR THIS SPECIFIC RARE TYPE OF HC. and i'd argue that someone's hc is a new character that they made for their au. all of art is derivative, including the characters they headcanon. either way, it's ridiculous to insinuate that a trans man making a story about trans men would be equivalate to the experience of "what if this character i already love was just a bit more like me?" firstly, they're entirely different skillsets with different rewards. not to mention that an independent artist, especially a trans one, would never be able to amass a fandom the size of a large company's franchise. definitely not all trans men who have ever been in fandom. part of the fun of hcs is that you can talk about it and other people who also like the character and the hc can go "oh wow neat" and then maybe you can be friends about it real quick right now instead of working for years and years to become a writer and director with a successful all trans cast playing all trans characters. plus it's something that just happens to you. either you see the vision or you don't. something sparks joy or it doesn't. not everything has to be an ideologically motivated calculated move, sometimes it's just harmless art for fun that has no impact on you or anyone else besides the joy and satisfaction of being inspired to create something because of a really good piece of media. not to mention that things like hcs make media have more meaning. it seems that you wouldn't get it, but you really can get more out of a book or show if you take time to think about what it means to you and connect it with the experiences in your life

your fundamental misunderstanding of the purpose of imagination and fandom saddens me. there's so much more fun to be had than what you're experiencing right now. you are Squidward and me and trans men are SpongeBob and Patrick playing in a box having the time of our lives.

also i'm sorry that i'm typing long yelling at you and that this is disorganized, i'm a bit drunk. i'll still agree with everything i said in the morning, i'll just wish it was more professional. please try hcing characters as being transphobic, it will help you cope with the stressful feelings of not liking trans hcs or people. also i wrote the "your real problem is with the fact that they're trans men, not that they're hcing" part to be at the end but then went off on a tangent defending the concept of hcs anyways, which is still good, but i feel it covers up the fact that you clearly see trans men as inherently misogynistic and sexist, so i'm gonna bring it up again and put it here at the bottom so you can see it. i know it's inherently misogynistic, sexist, etc. to be against trans men or any form of transness, so neither of us will get anywhere with each other. i am now going to seek out characters to hit with the transgenderification beam, behold as it affects your life in no way shape or form. i just did it just right now, could you tell? haha tricked you, i didn't think of anyone! or did i?🤔 im sorry i don't know why i'm being so rude tonight. i mean all of it and im not excusing it (because i don't believe i've done anything wrong, but if i did i already have buckets of logically valid reasons that excuse my rudeness ready to go for This Exact Situation, but I'll spare you the reading), but to my followers i promise to only be like this sometimes

I can't believe I gotta be saying this shit but. a trans guy headcanoning a masculine or strong female character as also being a trans guy doesn't take anything from cis women just so it's clear. first of all, it's a headcanon. in his HEAD. about a fake not real character. an angel has never had their wings "violently ripped off and thrown into a shredder" because of a headcanon, especially not for trans headcanons. it's not misogynistic for trans men to find common ground with girl characters, especially likable, cool, masculine ones who struggle against sexism. they know women can be strong too. they know that girls can like boy things. why are you assuming that everything they do is a betrayal and sexist? why do you think they skipped believing cis men and cis women are equal and went straight to transitioning? you have to not be sexist for the entire concept to work

[unholybacon355]

Extra Credits

G!P Winter x Im Nayeon

Word Count: 9.2 K

Masterlist

A/N: Do you still remember me? ahahahah I have been busy lately, but finally manages to come back with something "new". Well, if you follow me you will know this is a rewrite of one of my stories from my Kinktober run from last year. I loved so much writing this the first time, so i had to do it again but adding some thing. I didn't knew it gonna ended being this long, but at least was fun to write.

Hope you have fun reading it too.

Of course there were rumors, but there always has been rumors about professors doing that. Not just here, but probably at every university around the world. The thing is that Minjeong never imagined herself being involved in something like that. Also Minjeong never thought that she would need to be on her knees in order to approve this class. She came to Professor Nayeon's office to ask, or beg if necessary, for a chance to earn some extra points to increase her grade and pass her class. Minjeong was thinking of something like extra homework, a special test, maybe even doing Professor’s laundry,  or in the worst case giving her a massage. But nothing remotely close to being on her knees with her face buried between Nayeon’s thighs.

To be honest she had to perform that massage, that was exactly what led to this situation. Because when her professor saw she was willing to do almost everything for not failing her class she took advantage of that. “You should have paid more attention to my lectures instead of gossiping with Yizhuo at the back of the class.” The stare on Nayeon's eyes was severe. “You can’t do a special test, that would not be fair for the rest of the students, those who really paid attention to what I said, but you still can earn those points.” Minjeong was waiting patiently to know what that assignment would be. “ See. Being an attractive and young professor has its pros and cons, and one of their cons is that I have to wear these heels every day.” Minjeong wasn't understanding where this was going, but didn’t dare to interrupt her professor. “ My feet feel so sore that I would really use a massage.”

So this was her task, just give her professor a simple massage on her feet. Just a few moments of discomfort for her and with that Minjeong could save her semester. It wasn´t that terrible, at least she won't have to touch Nayeon's dirty laundry. “I can do that. I’m not an expert but I'm going to give my best to leave your feet all rested and feeling good.” 

“Good girl. Of course you can´t tell anyone about this. This would be our little secret.” Minjeong moved her head in a sign of aprovation. “Now let’s get into it.” Without hesitation Nayeon reached her feet and slipped her heels off. A moment later her feet were resting over her wooden desk, waiting for Minjeong to touch them.

“No- Now?” The student wasn’t expecting to do such a thing right now. Nayeon didn’t even cleaned her feet or something, she just got rid of her shoes and that was all. 

“I have to report the students' grades by the end of this week. If it isn't right now then going to be never.”

So Minjeong was left with no option. Or she gives Nayeon a massage on her feet or better be looking for a good excuse to give to her parents to explain why she failed this class. To be fair, the first option looked so much better, that’s why Minjeong rolled up her sleeves and began giving the older woman the said massage. “Mmmm… Mis Nayeon. By any chance do you have lotion or some kind of corporal cream?” Minjeong saw in a movie that they were doing massages with that kind of things, so she decided to give it a try. For her luck Nayeon was vain enough to have lotion on one of her drawers. 

Minjeong poured lotion into her hand and then spreaded over Nayeon’s foot. The professor let out a sign of relief  when the cold lotion touched her skin and Minjeon’s finger started to work. In fact Nayeon’s feet felt like she was needing that massage with urgency, and her student was giving her best here.

“That actually feels good, maybe you’re earning those extra credits.” To be fair the student was doing a good job, even with her lack of experience in the matter. Nayeon was sitting very comfortably with her head hanging back and her hands resetting over her tummy. The professor was for sure enjoying this. Minjeong wasn’t.

Nayeon’s feet were quite popular among her weird classmates, males mostly, but Minjeong wasn’t one of those freaks. Even with her pedi being impeccably done in a silver tone, matching with her hands, Minjeong felt nothing doing this because she was touching someone else's dirty feet. Well, Nayeon’s feet weren’t dirty, the professor was spotless; but Minjeong still was a little bit disgusted by this. 

The only good thing she was getting for this agreement was that she had free rein to look at Nayeon’s legs, and that was something she liked a lot. Her professor had perfectly sculpted legs with fine calves and in some way, for a woman with her contexture, meaty thighs. Nayeon’s silky legs have always been a great distraction for Minjeong, and now that she is resting with her head hanging back and her eyes closed, is the perfect moment for her to appreciate them. 

The student's eyes wandered from Nayeon’s ankles to her thighs, and came back to her ankles again. Not missing any detail and trying to carve into her memory how absolutely wonderful Nayeon’s legs were. Was where her eyes ventured further into her professor´s thighs that she noticed something that made her blush. 

In order to sit how she was doing, and being able to open her legs to let Minjeong perform the massage, Nayeon had lifted her skirt. But maybe she lifted it a little too much because her inner thighs were on display, and Minjeong could swear she saw something more; maybe it was her imagination or maybe not. In any case the student focused again on what she was doing, instead of looking like a horny teenager at her professor's legs, with her face blushing because of the shame.  

But there is a saying that goes "Curiosity killed the cat", the thing is that Minjeong is not a cat, so she looked again. This time was more evident, or maybe the skirt magically rolled a little bit up, Minjeong really could see a glimpse of her professor’s underwear. Still not much but enough to tell the garment is white. 

A sound of satisfaction came from Nayeon's mouth and made Minjeong move her head so fast that if this were a cartoon instead of real life, her neck would have sounded like a whiplash. Her face was red, she could feel her cheeks burning. She should just focus on the massage instead of checking out her professor. Better do this quickly and return home because it was getting late.

“You said you aren’t an expert, but you’re making me feel like I was wasting my money paying for massages.” That probably was a lie, but Minjeong appreciated it anyway. “ Can you stretch my toes a little? Wearing heels all day compresses them a lot.” Saying that Nayeon sinked  more on her chair and separated her feet a little bit. 

“Ok Miss Nayeon. I’ll do it.” Minjeong tried to sound normal but from inside she was panicking. She just saw her professor’s underwear, a dream for what some of her classmates would have killed. Nayeon was quite popular among the students for being pretty and always acting funny. She was not as mean as the other professors, and always was wearing formal outfits that accentuated her figure. Nayeon was hot and she knew it, but she has never insinuated to any student. Of course there were rumors, but hot professors always got those kinds of rumors on them. 

Again with the thought that she wasn’t a cat, and with her face feeling considerably less red, Minjeong was debating if she should look again or not. Maybe a little and quick look just to have something to remember, that could not do any harm to her. So taking her time, and without stopping the massage, Minjeong’s eyes started wandering again across her professor's legs. Going up at a slow pase in case she needed to look away, but never stopping to go forward. Soon her gaze reached the point she was looking for, but what she saw this time almost made her jaw drop to the ground.

There was Nayeon, her professor, laying on her desk chair with her skirt wrinkled around her waist and her legs slightly open. Minjeong didn’t look when Nayeon changed her position, but now she was clearly seeing a lot; because with the skirt out of her way and with her legs this open the student could perfectly see her professor’s panties. 

Of course Nayeon was wearing lingerie, and of course was a thong just big enough to cover her private parts. That sight made Minjeong droll almost immediately, and leave her feeling like she was witnessing a work of art that wasn’t meant for her eyes, as if she were standing in the middle of a private galley.

Minjeong swallows hardly the knot that has formed in her throat. If her classmates would gladly commit crimes for touching Nayeon's feet she was sure they would do terrible things to have the chance she's having now, to be able to see her professor's crotch as she was seeing right now.

And as far as Minjeong could see, her professor was completely shaved. She could swear that Nayeon's skin on that spot was softer than her legs, and she really wished she could massage that tender skin instead of Nayeon's feet. Minjeong even could swear she could see something through the lace fabric of the panties. All she needs to do is close her eyes a little to have a better focus on the spot, and…

“Ahem!! Are you enjoying the view?” Poor Minjeong was so focused on checking Nayeon that she forgot to keep her hands moving and she was just holding Nayeon’s feet in place. Now her professor was staring at her with fire in her eyes and a crooked smile. After all, maybe Minjeong was a cat.

“N-no. Miss- professor. I… I…” The words were crowding in her throat and could not come out. Minjeong could feel how her face became as red as ever has been before, she was sure her face could serve a lighthouse in the middle of a storm. She practically could feel her cheeks burning for the shame of being caught looking at her professor´s crotch. “I can explain-”

“Explain what? That you are a pervert?” Despite calling Minjeong like that ,Nayeon didn’t cover herself, her skirt was still around her waist. 

“Nooo was just an accident. I didn’t mean to spy you.” Minjeong knew she was fucked up because she was caught staring directly at Nayeon’s crotch, there is no way she could get away from this. Maybe instead of failing one class she would end up being expelled, what an improvement. 

“I knew you were a pervert, like all your classmates, but never expected you to be so blatant.” Nayeon still didn't cover herself and Minjeong didn't know where to look. Her eyes were wandering across the decorations and various graduation certificates that suddenly became very interesting. Everything to no laid her eyes on her professor’s face. “Why don't you want to look at me? You were staring a moment ago.” Nayeon had her in her hands.

Suddenly Minjeong fell on her knees and gathered her hands making a gesture as she was praying to a superior being. “Please don't tell anyone.” There was no way that Nayeon could explain this to someone without getting herself in trouble, but she could lie and tell that Minjeong snuck in her office to do perverted stuff. Being a professor could guarantee easily getting away with a lie and put all the blame on her student.

“Aaaawwww!! You look so cute begging, maybe too cute.” Minjeong was waiting for a “but” and then Nayeon would sent her to the dean's office. What wasn't expecting was Nayeon, who still has her legs parted, to caress her ear with… a foot? Minjeong was frozen in the spot because her professor was using her bare foot to play on her ear. 

This was much more inappropriate than her massaging her professor's feet, but what came next was worse. Nayeon moves her foot across Minjeong cheek to her mouth and presses her toes between her lips. The student still didn't understand what was happening but for some reason allowed her professor toes into her mouth. 

“Suck it, come on. Now you need to be more proactive if you want those extra points.” The original deal was just a massage for those points, but being honest Nayeon never really said what were the characteristics of their deal; so poor Minjeong had no option but suck.

The taste was bad, after all Nayeon's feet were covered in lotion, so that was what Minjeong felt in her mouth. Feet wasn't her thing, so Minjeong put zero effort on sucking it, and after a moment the foot was separated from her mouth. “Ok, fine. If you don't like it then you can suck something else.”

If putting a foot in her mouth and making her suck it wasn't enough to earn those damn extra credits, the next idea Nayeon had definitely has to be. To Minjeong's surprise, for like the third or so time in the evening, Nayeon raised her hips and with a long single movement slid her panties down her legs. “Come here to have a better view and put your mouth to work.” 

The foot came back to Minjeong’s face but this time was used to press her head closer to Nayeon, and because she was on her knees it was impossible for her to resist. So Minjeong now was facing directly Nayeon’s most private area, and as she could see, her professor was completely waxed and pristine. “Hurry up and start eating.” Nayeon said with her knee resting placidly on Minjeong's shoulder.

“But.. But this is too much. I wouldn’t do it.” The student shook her head protesting for the new task given to her, but her eyes were still glued to her professor’s crotch. 

“So you don’t want to pass my class? Ok, but you will have to take this course next semester and I’ll make sure you end up in my classroom again.” The smile on Nayeon's face shows how she was enjoying pushing her student between the sword and the wall. “You already know I’m head of the Chemistry department. Is so easy for me to make you fail again and again…”

In Minjeong's opinion, and despite that she was enjoying the view, this was so unfair. She just came here for a few extra points, just a little help to not fail this class, and now her professor is taking advantage of that. But what Nayeon said left her with not much options, if she reprove Chemistry her parents are going to be so disappointed and mad at her that probably going to have her studding during all the vacations. All that because Yizhuo couldn’t stop updating her about the most juicy gossip in the campus. But these stories weren’t as juicy as what she had in front of her eyes.

Honestly Nayeon was hot, Minjeong has no problem admitting that, so hot that is definitely out of her league. A young professor so smart that she is already head of her department, a respected academic, an extortionist, in short a very hot woman offered to her on a silver platter. And who was Minjeong to say no? She was already salivating and all she had to do was eat her professor. Give her a good moment, also enjoy the process, and at the end of the day she will pass her class and luckily don't have to deal with her again.

“Ok…” The tone was much more of defeat than she actually felt. “I’ll do it.” All what she received in return was a giggle and a gentle push on her back. With Nayeon thigh pressed against her cheek Minjeong finally sealed her lips over her professor’s other pair of lips, in a shy kiss. Was no surprise to her that Nayeon was already excited for this, her folds were already beginning to shine with her own nectar like dew on the grass in the morning.

The taste was a hundred times better than that of her feet, an improvement that sent Minjeong in an ecstasy that she wasn’t expecting to reach anytime soon. The girl wasn’t getting laid and this is the closest she has been in months to actually having sex. Not because she didn't want to or because she wasn’t popular, but because she was so busy studying. Studying other things because obviously not chemistry, otherwise she wouldn't be in this situation. 

As Minjeong thought Nayeon’s skin was so soft there, so delicate, she felt like she was kissing silk or something similar; not even Nayeon’s legs were as soft as her private area. Suddenly Minjeong has the urge to know if her professor’s insides were as soft as her skin outside, so she softly pushes her tongue between the delicate folds parting them and gathering some of the nectar. The muffled sound of a sigh came from Nayeon´s mouth, a single proof that Minjeong was doing good to use her tongue.

The tongue was going deeper and deeper and soon Minjeong was eating with a new found hunger, putting on it all the effort she didn't put into sucking Nayeon's foot.

Nayeon used her hand to cover her mouth in an attempt to shut her moans, which were slowly increasing in volume. Minjeong wasn't that good at giving head, but clearly she was doing something good here. Much better than the massage. That, or maybe her professor wasn't getting laid either. The other Nayeon’s hand has a tight grip in the chair.

With gentle touches with her heel, more like rubbing than anything else, Nayeon encourages her student to keep being proactive. Her hand is now more busy than ever trying to mute her moans because even when this part of the building is almost empty at this time of the evening, never is good having such sounds of pleasure coming out of a professor's office.

As Nayeon tries to mute herself, Minjeong's tongue keeps exploring the insides of her entrance. Soft, warm and wet was all that Nayeon’s cunt was, the ideal environment to maintain Minjeong busy eating and drinking all of her nectar. A task that the student was doing gladly because it is the best nectar she has drunk in a lot of time, or maybe in all of her life. That to be honest hasn’t been a lot of times.

Minjeong keeps eating using her tongue and lips to do a proper job, just navigating by instinct to finally earn those extra points. Maybe being a little bit more proactive, as Nayeon said, would help her in this task. So Minjeong decided to do a bolt movement and push apart her professor's leg. Making more room for herself. The new position allows her to eat better, and Nayeon seems to be grateful for that because she uses her heel to rub Minjeong’s back once again. 

When Minjeong was spacing out just thinking about eating and how good her professor's taste was she felt a gentle hand over her head, long fingers interlocking with her hair and capturing her to maintain Minjeong in position. As if she wasn't already trapped under Nayeon's knee. Besides that, who would try to run from this? Certainly not Minjeong, despite being reluctant at the beginning now was enjoying the process of eating out her professor.

It wasn't long before Nayeon let go of Minjeong's head and used her hand to grab the arm of the chair again. If the student had been able to see, she would have noticed how her professor was gripping the chair tighter than ever. It was very clear that Nayeon was close.

Even when Minjeong was sure she wasn't that good at giving heat, especially to women, she made her professor come really fast. If this would have been a male professor it would have been really embarrassing for him, but since it was Nayeon there was no shame in having an orgasm in just five minutes. Maybe after all Nayeon wasn't getting laid at all.

After a few uncontrollable shakes of her body and holding Minjeong in place to rub her vulva against her mouth, Nayeon finally released her student for the embrace of her legs. “I was needing that.” The professor said still having trouble breathing normally, the only visible aftermath of her recent orgasm. Well, that and the fact that her hair was a little messy.

“Now you earn the right to have a special test.” Nayeon said, putting her feet on the ground and approaching Minjeong to clean out her own juices from her mouth and chin. After rubbing the sleeve of her blouse in the face of the student for a few moments Nayeon decided she was clean and let her go.

“Test?... But…. But… You said after eating you out I'll earn those points.” 

“I didn't say anything about that.” Nayeon had a sinister smirk on her face. “You had to give me a massage, and since you didn't do it because you were busy checking me out, consider giving me a head as compensation.” That wasn't fair, but once again the professor was right since she never said oral sex was part of the deal for the extra credits. 

Minjeong needs to be more careful here or Nayeon would keep changing the deal and adding tasks. Now she's talking about a test, what next? “A test?” Minjeong asked with puppy eyes and fearing the answer. “But you said you couldn't.”

“Yes, but I'm the head of the department. Also no one besides you and me is going to know about this.” As she said that, Nayeon grabbed some baby wipes from god knows where and used them to clean her crotch of all the remnants of her orgasm and Minjeong's saliva.

“Ok, but Professor. You have to promise this is the last thing I have to do.” Minjeong didn't know why she was still on her knees since no one was stopping her from standing up, but for some reason she thought defying Nayeon's authority wasn't a good idea. Even when she was drawing a line and making her point.

“Look who is getting brave” Nayeon still maintains that smirk. “But ok, this test is going to be the last thing you have to do. I promise it.” In a gesture never shown before, Nayeon pets Minjeong's head. That was weirdly satisfying to Minjeong. “Now get on your feet and take your pants down.”

 “Wait, what?” Took Minjeong a few seconds to understand what she just heard. “N-no… Why? No, wait noooo.” 

“It's an important part of the test.” Nayeon moves her hand in a gesture telling Minjeong to stand up. “Now, don't make me waste my time and get your pants off.” 

Minjeong was back on her feet but making no move to open her pants zipper. “Professor, we can't do this. This is too much. We can't have sex.”

Nayeon lets out a loud burst of laughter covering her mouth with one of her big hands. “You already ate me out. Oral sex is sex.” Another audible laugh. “But I know what you mean, and no. We aren't fucking like that. I bet your little weiner isn't worthy of that.”

“I'm not that small.”  Winter interrupted her professor’s laugh to defend her honor. “Isn't huge but also isn't small. I'm average size, and…”

“You're just giving me the reason. Just accept it is small, there is no problem…” Minjeong didn't realize that her professor was just making fun of her and didn't actually know the size of her penis.

“Isn't small!!” Rising her voice more than she probably should, Winter opens her zipper and yanks her pants down as well with her boxer. “I'm average.” Driven by the humiliation she undressed her lower part with even thinking about what she was doing.

In fact Minjeong dick wasn't that small. As she said she was average, even semi erected as it was that was easy to tell. But that doesn't seem to stop Nayeon from making fun of her.

“Ok, you aren't small.” Nayeon rolled her eyes and stopped laughing. “Maybe tiny is a better adjective.” Another loud laugh. Nayeon's smile was so big that not even her already big hand could cover her mouth.

“Professor I'm not-” Suddenly Nayeon laid a hand on Winter's right thigh and made her shiver. “... I'm not tiny. I'm…” She finished the sentence lowering her voice with each syllable until her voice was just a whisper. For some reason she was staring at the floor. And for another unknown reason that hand was raising the temperature in her crotch.

“Turn around and bend over my desk.” Wasn't a suggestion, it was a command given with a calm voice and emphasized with a small squeeze of Minjeong's thigh. Maybe that's the power, the spell, Nayeon uses to control her students. Or more accurately, her alchemy.

Minjeong did as she was told, turning around with small steps because her pants were around her ankles. She immediately missed the warm touch of Nayeon's hand over her skin. Her hands were so big, and in Minjeong’s opinion so pretty too, they were surely much bigger than Minjeong hands.

If Nayeon's feet were popular among male students, the equivalent were her hands being popular in the female population of her classroom. Or at least that was what Minjeong thought because to her feet were a weird thing to be horny about. But hands were a different story.

Nayeon has big hands, with long and slender fingers. But that far from being weird is so attractive. The professor always has her nails done and her fingers decorated with rings. One clearly could tell she was using lotion and other methods to maintain her skin soft and tender, even when she wasn't old enough to need to care about that matter.

Nayeon was smart, young, pretty, and very capable of doing whatever she would like to achieve. But she also was proud of how beautiful she's, of the effects she causes on people and the attention they give to her. She always could notice when a student or another professor was staring and eating her with their eyes, and she enjoys that.

Minjeong was thinking about Nayeon's hands when she felt one of those hands on her lower back, pushing her further. A shiver ran through her spine. “Bend over.” Nayeon repeated her command, and again Minjeong did obey without protesting. “What happened to being proactive?”

The student still didn't understand what her professor wanted from her, all she was told was to bend over the desk. “You have a nice little butt, and your balls look cute from this angle.” The touch of a single finger in Minjeong's scrotum made her tremble, this time a shiver ran through all her body.

The finger left quickly and now Nayeon puts her hands over her students butt. In fact Minjeong has a little ass, beautiful and round, pale and very soft. Nayeon's hands completely covered her buttocks and separated them revealing the wrinkled entrance of her anus. 

“Also cute, and clean too.” Nayeon murmured for herself before finally standing up. The student couldn't see what her professor was doing due to the position she was in, but she felt when her buttocks were released. No jiggle, they just returned with one single movement to their natural form hiding her rear entrance.

“Spread it for me.” Nayeon spanked the beautiful ass in front of her. For some reason her hand was cold and wet now. “Come one. I have other things to do.”

“Why spreading my ass is part of the tes-” The professor poked Minjeong's scrotum again, causing the latest to interrupt what she was saying to release a pathetic whimper. That single touch seems to be all Nayeon needed to convince her student.

Minjeong reached her own butt and spread it as she was told. Her face was bright red for the embarrassment of exposing herself like that. “Let's get it to it.” Another cold touch from Nayeon, this time her fingers landed in Minjeong's perineum and slowly went up to her wrinkled entrance.

Two fingers were making circles and daubing in her ass what Minjeong only could guess as the same lotion she previously used to massage Nayeon's feet. The substance was cold, making her tremble because of that freezing touch in such a private area. 

Nayeon's fingers were tracing circles and applying a little pressure, but never treating to go inside, to invade Minjeong in such a perverted way. Just circling around and smearing the viscous substance between Minjeong butt crack.

Despiste her initial doubts, all that action in her rear was making Minjeong dick hard. But her pulse was rising and with every pump was also a bit of shame drumming in the back of her heart. She was leaning over her professor's desks, with her ass wide open, and Nayeon threatening to do only God knows what to her. This was an abuse of power no matter the angle one could look at it.

But Minjeong was still enjoying it. She ate her professor's cunt, at some point her delicious nectar was covering her mouth and lips, and now was being touched in an inappropriate way. Has been so long since someone touched her like that, since she fucked someone or someone fucked her. That's why arousal was taking over her despite not being comfortable at all, that why she was softly whimpering when Nayeon was just spreading lotion in her ass.

“Ok, I think you're ready.” Nayeon pressed one single fingertip over Minjeong anus and opened it a little bit. Just a few millimeters went inside and then quickly left, but the finger reminds over her poor back entrance. “Rules are simple. I'm going to ask you five questions, if your answers are correct something good is going to happen to you. Answer the five correctly and those extra credits are finally yours.” Nayeon uses her free hand to fix Minjeong's blonde short hair in the back of her ear. “But if you fail this test, you fail my class.” Nayeon closes the distance between her and her student to whisper to her ear. “ Are you following me?”

Minjeong hardly swallowed the saliva that was gathering in her mouth. “Yes Professor. Five right answers and I will pass your class.” What that has to do with pressing a finger against her ass was something Minjeong didn't understand at all at that time. Maybe that would be the punishment if she fail a question, sexual torture gonna be the way to discipline her.

“Good, first question. What have the neutral atoms of all of the isotopes of the same element?”

“What? This is hard, how I am supposed to kn-” Nayeon tapped Minjeong's ass with her finger, cutting her words.

“If you attend my class you should know that. Now answer, this is just the first question.”

“Ok. They have… they have… The same number of electrons!” Minjeong answered maybe too excited to be right about something that basic. 

“Good girl, that's right. You have one good. Now your reward.” Without warning and against all Minjeong was thinking was gonna be her reward, Nayeon pushed her finger against her anus. This time she didn't stop after the tip but kept pushing until the two first phalanxes of her finger were inside her student.

Minjeong's body shivered due the unexpected invasion and the wave of pleasure that action caused her. More pleasure than she should be feeling for this, for her professor taking advantage of her and finger-penetrating her ass. But Nayeon’s finger felt so good opening her rear entrance, invading her. Wrong but pleasant at the same time.

With a single movement a big portion of that long and slender finger went inside her rectum. Minjeong could feel the icy touch against her walls and anus. Thank God that digit was coated with lotion and entered really easily. More easily than Minjeong would like to admit here.

With the intrusion a pathetic whimper leaves the student's mouth. One that she was fast to mute using her hands, but that means she leaves her butt.

“You need to pack yourself and maintain your butt open for me. Bite your lip or something because I swear to God if someone hears your pathetic moans you are going to know what is good.”

“Why is putting a finger inside of me a reward?” Minjeong asked in a tone of protest and defeat. However her hands returned to spread her butt cheeks.

“I ask the questions here. Now get ready for the second one, this is very easy.”Nayeon changed the tone to the one she uses when giving her lectures, before continuing. “How many p electrons are in an atom of rubidium?”

That was an easy one? Really? Minjeong could not get herself to remember at what time of the semester she learned that, she wasn’t even sure to know what element rubidium was. Maybe shutting her eyes could make her focus on remembering the information she needed and not on the fact that Nayeon was moving her finger. At a tortuous pace, but still moving it. 

“Eighteen.” That sounded more like a question than a proper answer, luckily for her her professor didn’t notice that and counted it as a good answer. 

“Ok, another good one.” This time Minjeong was prepared for what was coming, but that didn’t help at all to dilute the feeling of a second finger penetrating her. The student has to rest her forehead against the cold surface of the wooden desk, and press her lips together to not let any sound escape from her mouth. A really hard task that she failed to archive when a new, and more pathetic, whimper echoed throughout the room. And the finger was still midway when that happened. At least this time she didn’t let go of her cheeks.

“Ok, that’s all. Open your mouth.” If she was commanded to not make sounds why Nayeon now wanted her to open her mouth? That didn’t make any sense to Minjeong until she felt something soft pressed against her lips, something made of a thin laced fabric. Not just her mouth but her eyes were wide open when she realized that what Nayeon was trying to put inside her mouth to mute her was in fact, the pair of panties she was using today. The same pair she removed to allow Minjeong to eat her out. “For now if you're not answering one of my questions you're going to keep that in your mouth.”

This new punishment was really humiliating, maybe more than the others, and Minjeong was feeling sick for enjoying it. The used underwear inside her mouth as well as the two fingers going slow but relentless in the task of invading her rectum cavity have her leaking. Her dick was pressed against the edge of the desk, and that was the only relief she was having, but with every new centimeter on Nayeon’s fingers that went inside of her, her shaft throb as if it were alive.

But at least with the garment inside her mouth she was able to moan more freely, even when being honest the thong wasn't really big. It was just a small triangle with some laces, that actually didn’t cover much of her owner’s anatomy. The other good part was that at least the underwear wasn’t stinky. 

“Look who is being a good girl and is taking my fingers very well.” Nayeon giggles at her own words. “Move your head if you are ready to continue.” However, making fun of her, Professor Nayeon waited for the confirmation that her student was doing ok before making the next question. “ Ok so. What of this alkaline earth metal is located in period 3. Lithium, sodium, calcium, magnesium, or strontium?”

So far this was the hardest question, but Minjeong was sure she knew the answer. She was sure Nayeon talked about this one day that Yizhuo didn’t attend her class, that was why she was able to focus on what her professor was saying. So when the underwear was taken from her mouth she was ready to give an answer. 

“I’m sure is lih-” When she was mid sentence Nayeon, in a diabolical act, separated those fingers she had inside her student. Not enough to make her cry of pleasure but far enough to make Minjeong reconsider her answer. “ Magnesium, it is magnesium. I was just kidding.” She tried to justify herself, because she knew Nayeon helped her with this one.

Soon the used underwear was back in her mouth and Nayeon was separating her fingers once again, this time pushing them far away than the first time. Forcing Minjeong’s anal walls to adapt to this new dimension, preparing them for what was coming. 

When the professor decided that her student was ready patted her head before pushing a third finger inside her rectum. Another long digit slowly goes inside Minjeong, pushing her to her limit, spreading her ass wide open. The poor student never before has taken something as big as three of Nayeon's fingers together. They were slender, sure, but three at the time was still too much for Minjeong. 

Electricity was running through her spine as that third finger was invading her. The loud moans almost weren't contained by the underwear so Minjeong still had to press her lips together, putting all her strength on that and into maintaining her buttocks open so her professor could continue ruining her rear. 

Her poor hole was stretched to a new whole limit, and that has Minjeong's dick twitching and leaking more precum. At this point she was sure the desk had a big stain and maybe the carpet under her feet too.

Minjeong felt so pathetic exposed as she was, with her ass being stretched by her professor, and her small dick arching for some real friction. Not just the illusion that was the contact with the wooden surface but real action, like a hand wrapping around her length and stroking her until she exploded. Maybe if she's a good girl Nayeon would allow her to cum, who knows.

For her part Nayeon was enjoying this too. Her private parts were glistening again with her own arousal. Maybe having total control over her student was turning her on, or maybe how dangerous it was for her career to do that in her office. If someone sees her with her fingers buried inside a student that definitely would be the end for her, and that risk has her cunt throbbing with emotion.

Despiste those malicious rumors a jealous coworker spread about her some years ago, Nayeon never has done such a perverted thing as having sex in her office, much less with a student. Maybe one or two times she snuck a hand under her skirt to help her to deal with the stress of her work, but never was more than rubbing herself for a few minutes. This time with Minjeong was actually the first time she actually had an orgasm in her office.

Obviously Nayeon is a pervert, she never gonna try to deny that, otherwise why would she have three of her fingers buried as deep as she could inside her student’s butt? And obviously she has done some things like this in the past. But it has been so long since she actually had sex with someone, since the last time she had someone bending like that for her. She isn't a natural top, but being in charge does inexplicable things to her. The power of having someone surrendered over her, completely devoted to her, with their attention centered on what she’s doing, is so intoxicating that she’s feeling how her arousal is rising again. So when she saw an opportunity with Minjeong, she jumped at the chance.

“Are you good?” Despite taking advantage of her position Nayeon isn't a sadist, she has no intention of harming her student, just wanna ruin her a little and release some stress in the process. 

Obviously Minjeong couldn’t speak because of the garment in her mouth but she moved her head up and down in an energetic way to point out that she’s doing ok even with her ass being full of her professor’s fingers.

“Ok, then just two more questions.” Minjeong kinda panicked when she released that there are two more questions left, the same number of fingers that Nayeon hasn't put inside her yet. Is she going to fist her? That idea made Minjeong’s blood pressure rise to the sky, because there is no way another finger fits inside her, let alone a whole hand. But she didn't have time to think about it before her professor made the next question. “What is the approximate pH of a solution labeled 0.050 M HClO?”

“Hoomm iimm gamma kmmon?” Minjeong's voice was muffed by the underwear and only an unintelligible murmur was heard. At that, Nayeon removed the garment from her mouth.

“What? You have the solution that fast?” Nayeon was surprised that Minjeong had the answer so quickly, given that she wasn’t putting too much attention on her lectures. 

“No, but how am I supposed to know? I can’t do the math in my head?” How Nayeon rolled her eyes was imperceptible for the student, also was how the professor opened a drawer and took a small notebook and a pen from there. All she could see was when Nayeon tossed those things in front of her face.

“Ok, fine. You can let go of your buttocks and do the math, your ass is already open. But for god sake be quick.“

Minjeong never had been so fast to grab a piece of paper and a pen before, but this time she did it as if her life depended on that. After writing the first scribbles, she crossed them out with such force that she almost tore the paper. Now, more carefully, she started the calculations again, but she found it hard to concentrate with her ass so full. It was as if her rear was burning and protesting to come back to their original wrinkle form, not this madness of being stretched up like that.

For her luck Nayeon didn’t try to open her finger this time, or do any other trick. After all, the professor knew if she wasn't gagged, so any attempt to play with Minjeong would result in her student making noises that neither of them wanted to be heard outside the office.

“I… I have it.” Minjeong was sure this time after checking her answer a few times. “It is four point forty one.

“Who could imagine that you would know so much? Maybe I should do the same test to Yizhuo to find out if she learned something too.” The tone was playful, as if Nayeon were contemplating the idea of having Minjeong's classmate in the same position as her. Perhaps a fantasy too greedy. “Here comes your reward, so get this in your mouth again and relax…” 

Minjeong never knew what was the rest of the phrase because she tried to protest but the underwear was forced into her mouth again. With that all she could do was shut her eyes and press her lips tight waiting to feel another intrusion into her ass, expecting to feel how the four finger was forced into her already stuffed entrance. But that never came to happen because what Nayeon did was caress her scrotum and then grab her hard dick.

And involuntary shiver ran truth Minjeong’s entire body when she felt the touch over her balls, and what was yet the most pathetic whimper she had ever released, escaped from her mouth when Nayeon grabbed her dick. She was needing that touch so bad that almost came at the instant.

In fact Minjeong’s penis felt almost tiny between Nayeon’s fingers, a combination of her length and the fact that her professor had big hands. In any case Minjeong’s dick fit perfectly in the warm embrace of that hand, so perfect that her scrotum was receiving some stimulation too. Her dick and balls were at the complete mercy of her professor.

What came next had Minjeong whimpering as a little puppy, because Nayeon moved her hand three times, just three times. Giving but at the same time denying the long-awaited friction on her private parts. A motion perfectly calculated to torture Minjeong.

The poor student was ready to let all go and release her semen directly into her professor's hand, but as suddenly as the motion started, stopped a few seconds before. All that was given to her were just three pumps and nothing more. Something that made her very frustrated, and yearning for more.

“Huuughh! I just touched you and you already made a mess in my hand.” Minjeong was leaking so much precum that her professor could feel how her fingers were coated in the viscous and crystal clear fluid. 

Obviously Minjeong could not say sorry for that, but that doesn't stop her from feeling embarrassed. She was being so pathetic, completely folded over Nayeon's will, ready to serve her and for what? For just a few extra credits. At this point this was about something else, because Minjeong was feeling like she was giving too much for just passing a class, this wasn't an equivalent exchange. But once again that turned her more.

The feeling of her small dick completely covered by Nayeon's big hand, with her long and pretty fingers wrapped around her length, was intoxicating. For the other part the hand in her rear was feeling so good too, much more that she will ever be willing to admit. But how would she pretend that that isn't true if she was already leaking after the first finger went inside her?

Minjeong's world almost fell apart when that wonderful hand left her shaft. She thought it was going to be wrapped around her all the time.

“Time for the last question. Again you can do the math.” The student didn't notice that Nayeon made a pause to lick the precum out of her fingers,  she thought she was just being dramatic. “What is the volume of a 2.50 gram block of metal whose density is 6.72 grams per cubic centimeter?”

Fuck Yizhu for getting her on this trouble, was what came to Minjeong's mind when she heard the last question. She never has been good enough in math, and that was her less favorite part about chemistry. But now that was what was separating her from owning those damn extra credits and finally getting those fingers out of her butt, because notwithstanding that in fact that was very pleasant her sore sphincter was getting tired of being open like when a snake engulfed an egg.

“It is 0.372.” Was the answer she gave to Nayeon when the latest once again removed the used underwear from her mouth. This time took her longer to calculate it, but she was sure she was right at the first attempt. Maybe it was the urge for being touched again that made her focused on the given task.

“That's right. I'm impressed that you actually did it, and have to inform you that you have successfully passed this test and my class.” After all, she was able to put more than fingers inside Minjeong and actually made her learn a thing or two. That has to count for something, and Nayeon would have given her student a congratulatory clap if her hands weren't so busy.

“Thank you professor. Now can I- Aaanngghh!!” Of course Minjeong was a fool for thinking that that  was all, that Nayeon was going to release her just like that. Her professor separating her fingers was proof enough that she was wrong.

Nayeon didn't separate her finger too much, just a few millimeters, but that was enough to let her student know that they weren't done yet. And once again Minjeong was covering her mouth with her hands, she even put Nayeon's underwear back inside her mouth when she had the chance.

“Before you can go there is one last reward.” Nayeon's voice was calm, comforting in some way, but still could listen in there a glimpse of enjoyment. As if she were making fun of her student reactions. “Just be patient and cover your mouth.” This time was the whisper to her ear that made Minjeong shiver, how Nayeon pressed their bodies together to reach her and say that only for her, as if they were surrounded by a crowd and those worlds were meant only for her.

Everything started with a gentle touch on Minjeong's scrotum, just a caress over her balls, and then Nayeon's fingers slowly going down until they were wrapped over her hard shaft. 

The whimpers were not long in coming because poor Minjeong was so sensitive there that having her professor's fingers descending as snakes over her skin was already too much. The fingers inside her were warming her guts in a way that she never has felt before, and the ones on her shaft were sending jolts through her spine.

Her dick felt so small in the embrace of that hand, smaller that it actually is, perhaps embarrassing her or perhaps turning her on. Or maybe both at the same time, because Minjeong’s feeling were overwhelming even when Nayeon hasn't moved her hand yet again.

When the first movement happened Nayeon could easily hear her student's muffled moans. She was no longer whimpering but moaning, all with just one pump of her hand. By the time she reached a stable rhythm her hand was covered in Minjeong's precum. The girl was leaking so much that was making Nayeon's work easier. Her own leak was serving as lotion to masturbate her.

As if that wasn't enough the other hand was moving too, just that slowly, fucking Minjeong in the ass. Making a complete mess out of the poor student that came to this office just to ask for a few extra credits.

Her butt was sore. Stretched to its maximum for so many minutes, but the burning feeling was good. Lotion made Nayeon's task easier and as long as her professor didn't push too much inside her she was just feeling pleasure. The nerves endings inside her rectum where being more stimulated than ever before, so Nayeon could have easily made her student cum just by finger-fucking her ass. But that would have been too easy for her.

“God, you're so pathetic with your cute ass stretched and you small dick being milked.” Nayeon says just to assure the power she has over her student, and Minjeong couldn't defend herself because she was busy covering her mouth, and in fact she was feeling pathetic too. Also there was the thing that she had completely surrendered to her professor. What else could she do with a hand buried in her ass and another stroking her dick?

All that was left to her was moan and tremble while waves of pleasure were crushing inside her body. That hand in her shaft was making pervy wet sounds since it was completely coated in her precum, and the other hand has stopped but replaced the movement for being buried as far as it could.

Nayeon increased the rhythm of her strokes to a point that was unsustainable to her student, clearly attempting to make her reach her limit, and Minjeong once again did as she was told. Only that this time she wasn't told with words but actions.

The young student's final climax did not disappoint Nayeon. With shivers and moans, and contracting her rectum like crazy, Minjeong spilled her semen into her professor's hand. A lot more semen that one could imagine those small balls could store.

If Nayeon's hand was already coated in fluid now it was worse. But she didn't stop stroking, milking her student until the last drop of semen left her body. For Minjeong was a totally new experience because she was feeling how her dick was submerged in her own semen, and that was like floating in a viscous cloud.

The student was still covering her mouth, trying to not make any noise audible outside the office, when Nayeon pulled out her fingers. All at once and without saying anything. If Minjeong could have had another orgasm instantly, but her balls were already empty.

Having her asshole stretch was one thing, but the sudden absence of the fingers inside her left her anus yearning for more, in so short time she had already gotten used to the feeling of being full. But her ass was now empty and started to close slowly, remaining open for a few seconds in a very nasty and perverted way that Nayeon obviously admired and found cute.

Now it was the turn of the other hand to leave Minjeong's shaft. At the instant some drops of semen leaked to the floor and over the student's clothes that were around her ankles. Minjeong's dick still was covered in her semen and her ass was sore, but she was finally free from her professor's claws.

“You can clean yourself before leaving.” Nayeon said casually sitting on her chair, as if she hadn't just ruined her student’s rear. “There is my private bathroom. It's small but works.”

Minjeong was still catching her breath, still with the underwear in her mouth. The orgasm she just experienced was powerful enough to make her dizzy. Her dick was still twitching against the air, and her ass was sore until the point she was sure that she was going to have some trouble walking normally.

Trying to compose herself, the student lifted her clothes in an attempt to cover at least her thighs, since her crotch and butt were smeared with semen and lotion and she didn’t wanted to stain her underwear. Indeed her asshole made that task difficult and uncomfortable.

“Come on. I have other things to do.” The professor was cleaning her hands with the same wipes she cleaned her crotch before, and casually as if it were nothing she licked some rest of semen between her fingers. Minjeong wanted to say something but words didn't come out of her mouth, in part because she was still gagging with Nayeon’s underwear.

She just spat the garment out of her mouth and left it over the desk, covered in her saliva, maybe completely ruined. Ruined as she was, with her ass sore and her small dick now soft. And with that, without saying anything, Minjeong walked bow-legged, and with occasional whimpers due the soreness of her butt, to the small bathroom. To clean herself from the aftermath of the special test.

Minjeong swore to herself that she wouldn't get distracted in class again, and obviously, that she wouldn't listen to the gossip Yizhuo told her again. Never again.

[azaharinflames]

It’s always interesting to me when people say that Oliver hates the relationship and yet nothing he has said gives me that vibe. Even when he’s talking in interviews with the most buddie of buddie journalists he doesn’t speak negatively about it. In fact in both the post 0806 and most 0811 he empathizes a lot with Tommy. I don’t think Oliver hates it at all and in fact I think he enjoys it.

I think it's projection at its finest, Nonnie. They need Oliver to hate the ship, because in their twisted minds that gives them 'permission' to hate it as well.

Fun fact! For a post I made a while ago, I went back and looked at Oliver's interviews when talking about Bucktaylor in season 5. To be fair, he wasn't asked about the relationship a lot (and this was for actual publications, so. I took that as telling), but when he did, he was a bit critical of their relationship. Idk, whilst reading I got the vibe that he didn't exactly love it.

For Bucktommy, however, Oliver has consistently spoken positively about the ship and Lou. And even post-break-up (as crass as he was about certain topics), he stayed consistent. Instead of trying to gather sympathy for Buck, he empathized with Tommy and made a point of not showing Tommy as the proverbial villain of the situation. He even kinda took his side post 811 (lowkey funny how Oliver thinks Buck was in the wrong, and Lou thinks Tommy overreacted, but I digress)

We have no evidence of Oliver disliking the ship (because not posting BTS of Lou is not evidence, for as much as Bobs love to pretend it is), and a lot of evidence of him defending Bucktommy/Tommy. So. Take that as you will.

(side note, but I always get so annoyed when Bobs take a screenshot of a serious moment and pretend Buck is reacting to a joke Tommy said, or reacting to Tommy flirting. It's their attempt to create a false narrative, even when it can be easily disproven, and I personally think it's a little pathetic)

[absolutebl]

This Week in BL - Meaty Post Since It's All You're Getting for a Bit

Organized, in each category, with ones I'm enjoying most at the top.

*** This blog will be on mini hiatus for most of May 2025. Not dead just busy. You'll be fine without me. Don't burn down this hellsite anymore than normal while I'm away.

April 2025 Week 4

Ongoing Series - Thai

My Stubborn (Sun iQIYI) ep 1-2 of 10 - Mflow's latest high heat office romance involves best friend's younger brother, boss meets intern, bit of a love triangle, GL crumbs, and few other tropes.

It's... raunchy.  And it's giving me Deep Night vibrations. So to speak. Similarly cringe but still fun to have on our screen. I don't mind a "teach me daddy" trope. The leads are serving up BossNoeul in LITA and the other pairs seem decent too. It’s messy gay but it’s low stakes high melodrama soap opera messy gay so I guess I'm okay with that style. Shall we call this "sloppy gay"?

I'm not mad about it.  

The BangkokBoy (Thai Sat Gaga) ep 1 of 12 - Action, crime, and revenge meets gangs, street fights, mafia, and more. Oh my. Intriguing premise. Not a bad beginning in terms of acting and family strife set-up. The terrible dubbing is sending me. The terrible fight scenes are sending me even further. They better give us some BL within the next two episodes or I don’t know if I can take this level try-hard.

Sweet Tooth Good Dentist (Fri iQIYI) ep 5 of 12 - I am so happy to have Jimmy back on my screen. I can’t even tell you. No additional thoughts, only Jimmy in glasses.

Top Form (Thurs WeTV) ep 6 of 10 - this time I reminded myself going in that this is based on Japanese IP. But I still couldn't take it. I fast-forwarded through most of this ep. I knew it was coming but I still couldn’t stomach it.

Akin better get everything tested. And some counseling.

Boys in Love (Sun iQIYI ) ep 1-2 of 12 - Our only true high school BL from GMMTV this year and it's fresh faces for the youths and old favs for the teachers. I want to like this (and be surprised by it) as much as My School President in 2023 but so far that is definitely not the case. I do love the teachers (shocker) and I like the sides but I’m not sold on the main couple. With a kiss already in ep 2 the pacing is off. If this were Japan I would 't be worried, but this is GMMTV messing with the formula and that could be rough for all of us.

Side note... how does Papong look so daddy in Not Me and do damn ingenue here? Best chameleon in GMMTV's stable? I think so. 

Ongoing Series - Not Thai

Heesu in Class 2 (Korea Fri Viki) eps 9-10 end - omg they are ridiculously cute dancing round each other. Please just kiss! Bah, this did take too long to resolve. I was worried about that.

The people (aka me) want more BL in our BL! Rah rah rah.

I also wanted more Heesu advising others and less of the hets hetting about the place. Sad we got not kiss but also no time to develop it.

Conclusion

What started out with a great core concept (KBL version of Sex Education) rather lost its way getting mired in the slowest of slow burns which effectively turned the BL storyline into a sub plot for multiple het dramas should have just added flavor. The acting was sweet all round, and sincere, and the lead character of Heesu very engaging. There was even some chemistry with his love interest, rare from Korea. The extra length (so rare in KBL) turned out to be just enough for them to hang themselves with. Should we be shocked that Korea didn't have enough faith in the queer romance thread? No, but I had hoped for better. This was almost great but missed the mark by simply not being gay enough. 7/10 

I will add the handling of the coming out sequence was... deft.

I think I need to go rewatch Light On Me.

Business as Usual (Korea Thurs Viki) Ep 4 of 6 - Gah this is so sad. They like each other so much and made such stupid mistakes! i guess Jin Hwan won't let it stick? Honestly I'm kinda glad this is a short one.

Something Is Not Right (Korea Weds Viki) ep 2 of 8 - The library scene made me laugh.  Every single on of them is such a drama queen. It's awfully angsty but i like it. 

Fight for You (Taiwan Fri Gaga) ep 6 of 12 - Oh this is getting kinda good. That fantasy was lovely. The rest of the story is rough. But the chemistry is great.

Exclusive Love (Taiwan Fri Gaga) ep 12 end - Pretty much just a wrap up episode with lots of sex and a double wedding (never a good idea). But all of it was very pretty. 

Summary 

Taiwan gave us this weird premise of funeral home + mafia + secrets, yet somehow no excitement or real tension because they then slapped it with a pathetic excuse for a plot. Everybody in it was pretty, but the chemistry really wasn’t what I’ve grown to expect from Taiwan. The suits were nice, i guess? Ultimately, given the initial concept, this is remarkably forgettable. 6/10 

It's airing but......

Sashes and Hearts (Pinoy YT) 13 eps - Philippines is doing Drop Dead Gorgeous only all gay boys queening their asses off. Doesn't interest me, not sure if it's BL.

Last Meal Universe (Thai ????) 8 eps - An alien who has come to destroy earth instead falls in love with Thai food and then the Thai boy who cooks it - realistic, actually. I got a link to watch but it still wouldn't work for me, so I guess I'm waiting to see what happens.

Lost in the Woods (Weds Gaga) 7 eps - Not my thing, dropped at ep 2.

Secret Ghost (Thai Sat Viu) ?? eps - The trailer dropped and it looks so bad.

My Golden Blood (Weds iQIYI) 12 eps - dropped at ep 5. Recent thought process as follows: Oh, I think I would have loved this if it were OffGun.

What a thing for me to think.

Still, I'm not wrong.

The Rewatch BLigade!

Jazz for 2. I wasn't sure about this when it aired and I'm still not sure about it. I think I like it. But how much do I like it?

Cherry Magic Thailand. Still very enjoyable but there are more slow and lagging episodes than I remember. Lots of fast forwarding through the slow bits. But TayNew still deliver like only they can. Now I kinda wanna do a Deep Blue Kiss rewatch.

Wandee Goodday. I fast forwarded through everything that wasn't YakDee on screen together. Solid choice. I love them so much, and I suspect they might be the healthiest sexual relationship we have ever seen depicted in a BL. (On Viki these days)

Unintentional Love Story. Yeah a regular rewatch for me. I put it on to check something, and then just ended up running through the whole series. Will I ever recover from Gongchan's eyes? Not in this lifetime.

Your Sky. Yeah I finished the 3 ep special and then immediately rewatched the whole darn show. This is my 3rd or 4th time. I love it, totally my type of so bad it's good, so sweet it hurts, BL pulp. I don't ask for much from my BL. This show gave me exactly that much and no more.

Mr X & I - Us Against The World. One of those obscure shorts I love, this one from China pre 2016 crack down. Yep. Still love.

I'll be doing a ton of rewatching over the next month because of all my travel. Wish me luck!

Next Week Looks Like This:

Coming in May

5/2 Pit Babe The Series 2 (Thai Fri iQIYI) 13 eps - More conspiracy and struggles and past coming out to play but even less omegaverse.

5/3 The Next Prince (Thai Sat iQIYI) 14 eps - Hotly anticipated 3 yr production featuring ZeeNewNu in a fantasy/historical set in a palace where Zee plays a knight and Nu a prince fighting for his right it inherit. Plus Jimmy with a new partner. Should be pretty and hot if nothing else.

5/16 Knockout (Thai Fri WeTV ) 12 eps - A low quality less fun/funny version of Wandee Goodday?

5/19 I Promise I Will Come Back (Thai Mon WeTV) 10 eps - A Thai Taiwanese colab. Stars two Thai actors and Taiwanese identical twins from H3. However the lead and co-producer Tontae is actually a very good actor, so this could be good unless it's oen of those mostly intended to be a tourism advert for the Thai countryside. We shall see!

5/16 My Sweetheart Jom (Thai Fri YouTube) 12 eps - I admit I wasn't sold on this one from the trailer but Saint is back and I'm disposed to be intrigued by the kind of script that would pull hm in. But it is certainly not my kind of script.

May? Season of Love in Shimane AKA Ai no Kisetsu: The Season of Love (Thai) - Sequel to Kiseki Chapter 2 which I intensely disliked, must we?

May ? Sweetheart Service (Korea Gaga) - Strongberry is back with a fake dating trope?! After being pressured by his family to get married, Min U proposes to Yu Ha to pretend to be his fiancé. As they spend time together, feelings begin to develop between them.

2025 Line Up

BL Announced for 2025 - PART 1

BL Announced for 2025 - PART 2

20 BLs Announced for 2025 That I'm Really Excited About

GMMTV 2025 Line Up - My Totally Biased and Wildly Flawed Feels

THIS WEEK’S BEST MOMENT

Lap sit kiss teaching sesh with this boy you kinda hate who is now also kinda your boss... sure, why not?

(last week)

The tag BLigade: @doorajar @solitaryandwandering @my-rose-tinted-glasses @babymbbatinygirl @babymbbatinygirl @isisanna-blog @mmastertheone @pickletrip @aliceisathome @urikawa-miyuki @tokillamonger @sunflower-positiiivity @rocketturtle4 @blglplus @anythinggoesintheshire @everlightly @renafire @mestizashinrin @bl-bam-beyond @small-dark-and-delicious @saezurumurmurs

[raikkoberg]

"Your state has been violently occupying for decades" lil bro go do your homework first.

The whole Indian subcontinent (excluding SL) was divided into Pakistan, Bangladesh and Kashmir as a result of policies being imposed by the British regime.

According to the Treaty of Kashmir signed on 26th of October 1947, by Maharaja Hari Singh, ruler of the princely state J&K used to be back then, the king agreed to accede his state to the Dominion of India.

Why? Because of the FATA invasion. Stemming from Afghanistan and Pakistan, they slaughtered and raped millions of Kashmiri inhabitants.

60% of Kashmir falls under India's governance, 30% under Pakistan's and the rest under China's, all recognized internationally.

How come is it just a particular 'state' and its people you dare target? I'll tell you how, because you see what you wanna see. Believe what you wanna believe.

If you want to talk, do your homework.

OP is so sick for even saying "why were you vacationing in a land...." because then what if you go on a holiday to Napoli and get gunned down there? What are you going to say then?

"Why did you come to Napoli knowing it has criminal records?"

Are you seriously blaming the victims who became a prey of this act of extremism in the old-fashioned "it was your fault that you were there in the first place" way?

If tomorrow, hope not, someone close to you, gets shot at a place they went to spend their holiday at, I hope your first thought isn't "Oh shucks, I hope they didn't choose that place though. Would have still been alive....."

Foreigners from all over the world go to visit Kashmir, just like us Indians. What does it do? It helps grow the economy of the state, it helps the people in their earn money for support themselves and their families. It helps our fellow countrymen, who have seen nothing but destruction for almost all of their lives. It gives them strength.

No, you do NOT think the loss of lives is tragic, because if you did, you wouldn't have even entertained saying something so heartless and disgusting.

No, you DO NOT get to label this as Islamophobia for your own sympathy gain and propaganda.

No, you do NOT get to twist this heinous act for being what it truly is.

If you cannot call it what is truly is-- not a tragedy, but a pre-mediated act of terrorism committed by a bunch of extremists of a certain religion, take your deepest sympathies and shove them right up your arse.

It is blatant Hinduphobia and calling it that does not automatically make you Islamphobic.

Not calling terrorism for what it is just because you do not want to look like an Islamophobe is INSANE, INHUMANE, SHAMEFUL and DISGUSTING.

There's a hell lot of difference between a Hindu nationalist, and simply a concerned citizen who is worried about the propaganda being spread in their country by weaponizing religion in the worst way possible.

Kashmir has been under heavy military scrutiny because of the violence which has always been present there, since the time of killing and exploitation of Kashmiri Pandits.

You cannot talk peace and harmony with those who only understand the language of violence and blood, calling it liberation. You cannot justify the relentless assault Kashmiri Pandits have faced because you are too busy playing politics for your own fun.

Hope you get gifted with some brain power soon 🙏🏼 because this sort of fucked up mentality can be really harmful to you as well as the people you love and care about.

the loss of life is tragic but why were you vacationing on a land that your state has been violently occupying for decades in the first place?

[kurishiri]

2nd Anniversary ┊ A short break with Darius

꒰ ִ ֺ ⊹ @ notice ⊹ ֺ ִ ꒱ this is the 400 times sent bonus story for each suitor during ikevil's second elections! this translation may not be 100% accurate or contain creative liberties due to characterization or narrative flow purposes. if you enjoy, please consider reblogging, but don't repost these or claim these as your own!

— cw: potato slander 😔✌️

Darius: Ahh, now that was fun.

Kate: Welcome back. You...don’t seem hurt anywhere, right?

Darius: Of course not, just who do you take me for?

A haughty smile playing on his lips, Darius sat on the sofa.

Darius: Anyway, enough of that, I’m feeling parched. Were you able to prepare the drinks and refreshments?

Indeed, that was the sudden order he left with me before departing.

(And he left before I could even talk back, so I was left here racking my head...)

But even so, I figured that he would feel weary upon returning,

and so, I prepared the refreshments as he had ordered and waited for him.

Kate: Here you are. Good job today.

With that, I took off the plaid cloth cover.

And beneath it laid a plethora of tea flavors, with scones, sandwiches, and whatnot lined up.

Darius: Well, I’ll be. You did all this for me, did you.

He pointed at the tea leaves, lined up together, and...

Darius: Which of these do you recommend?

Kate: The chamomile one, perhaps. It can relieve fatigue, so I’d go with that.

Darius: Alright then, I’ll go with that.

Accepting my suggestion, he waited for me to prepare the tea with a smile.

(Somehow I feel a bit like a maid...)

I put the tea leaves into the pot and poured hot water in before turning over the hourglass.

When it finished steeping according to that, I poured the tea using a tea strainer, and——

Kate: Here you go.

Darius, poking at the hourglass, then started to grumble idle complaints.

Darius: Not only with the tea, but the way to eat a scone too...the English get so caught up in all these excessive mannerisms. They’re so incessant about them too.

Kate: Hehe, I suppose. We do tend to get caught up in traditions and formalities.

Darius: And I hold little interest in them...that said.

D: What I do hold interest in is seeing the faces of those types of humans when I break the things they hold dear to bits and pieces, right before their eyes.

Kate: Wha...

Darius: Just kidding.

(Sometimes, I feel like I can’t read what Darius is thinking...)

I couldn’t help but think that hidden beneath that gentle smile of his was something so deeply dark.

Darius: Oh, and which of these dishes took the most time to make?

Kate: That would be the potato potage, if I had to say.

K: The process itself is simple, but the potatoes do need to be sieved to soften its texture.

K: So, I think it would qualify as something that took a lot of time, just as you like it.

When I said so, though, he furrowed his brow——

Darius: Out of every vegetable, I happen to hate potatoes the most.

Kate: Is that so?

Darius: Whole or not, I despise even looking at it.

(Well that’s troubling, what do I do now…)

In contrast to my panic, he spoke up upon spotting a certain something.

Darius: ...Ah, so you do have things I like after all.

Having found the crumpet, Darius’ expression shifted completely, his lips now in a full smile.

Darius: Portion this out, won’t you. And make sure to add a generous topping of butter and syrup too.

Kate: O-okay!

The butter, melting with the syrup, seeped into the crumpet as I carried the plate to Darius.

When I placed it before him, I tried to leave, when...

Darius: You stay here.

Kate: Huh?

He made space for another on the sofa and gestured to it,

and when I sat down, he enthusiastically clapped the fork into the crumpet and started eating.

Darius: You can have the potage.

Kate: I can?

Darius: Well, I don’t even want it in my sight, so I’d rather you eat it away.

(To think he hated it so much...)

I started to drink the potage by his side.

All of a sudden, he gave me a sidelong glance, and I felt as though he was looking at something distant...

Kate: ...Um...

Putting my hand on the open space, I called out to him before me.

Darius: Mhm, what is it?

He set his fork down, sparing a glance at my hand.

Kate: Every time we get together like this, I’d like you to tell me something about yourself I don’t yet know.

K: If I do, then I think something like this can be prevented.

K: And besides...

I approached him, closing the distance between us ever so slightly.

Kate: I...want to get to know you better.

His eyes widened, but then right after he started to laugh.

Darius: Ahaha, sure then. If you want to know then tell you I will.

And, ever so slightly, Darius closed the distance between us as well.

Darius: So, what’s the first thing you’d like to know?

——I felt then that, just a little, I had gotten closer to the depths of his heart that laid beneath that smile.

Fin

masterlist 🪽 ┊ ko-fi ☕️ ┊ comms 🤍

@injudescoat @caxsthetic @velisle ‪‪❤︎‬ ダリウス

[casscainmainly]

omg i love your idea for the duke and dick dynamic, it could be so fun if handled properly, i wish dc would release a team-up for them where they start off with the one-sided hate-ish dynamic you described. i'm primarily a nightwing fan but i adore duke and something about them starting off on such a wrong foot makes my brain itch, the banter would be comedy gold. they team up for a case that involves undercover work and some classic corrupt officials in a powerful system. the rooftop should come up and dick should apologize for handling it all wrong and they would talk about the systemic issues in brief all over throughout the comic (maybe use the newly orphaned dick in juvie reference at some point, could lead to very interesting introspection on dick's part) and let them chafe a little together because they are both used to being in leader/solo roles and then let them find even more respect for each other and their skills. i think dick would like duke even more by the end and they both would gain a better understanding of each other. duke doesn't even need to like dick by the end of it. it would be SO fun. DC PLEASE LET THIS HAPPEN, LET DUKE BE PETTY AND A HATER AND LET IT BE FUNNY

YAY I'm so glad you like the idea <333 I made that Duke hates Dick post what feels like so long ago now but it is still one of my fav posts and I stand by it. I WOULD DIE FOR A DICK + DUKE SPECIALLLL!!

Sorry you've turned on the Dick + Duke tap in my head so gonna dump some thoughts here:

The thing about Dick + Duke is that they're sooo similar but SOOO different. Like technically they've both been wards/taken in not as a son for Bruce, but Dick's situation was so radically different that even if they talked about it, it wouldn't be the same. Dick would be like 'how did you feel being taken in by Bruce' and Duke would be like 'nothing really. I mean it was nice but it was only temporary. What was it like for you' and Dick would suppress 1 bajillion of the world's strongest feelings about Bruce to be like 'oh it was nice as well'.

ALSO thinking about how the roof thing happened when Dick gave Duke his blessing to be Robin, but now Duke is Signal. I don't think Dick knows 'Signal' comes from Duke's mom, and Duke certainly doesn't know 'Robin' comes from Dick's mom. Imagining a conversation where they discuss those names, and the uncomfortable realisation of what exactly it meant when Duke + the WAR kids took Robin out of its context, but also the realisation that Signal is a Robin legacy in its own way by honouring motherhood. Also, thinking about Duke telling Dick about Bruce giving him the Signal suit and basically asking him to stop being Robin. Dick had picked Duke in Robin War, I can't imagine Bruce's interference with the Robin mantle would go over well (and it shouldn't. I just need someone to be mad about the Robin/Signal transition in canon!!!)

Final thought is their opposing thoughts about performance and honesty. Performance is such an integral part of Dick's core, but it's antithetical to Duke's; he's all about truth, bringing things to light, digging things up etc. I think them teaming up could bring out these completely different approaches to being a hero and being human, and it would be so delicious and good!!! I truly do think at the end of it they would come to have a deep respect for each other, because they are both deeply good people who believe in community and compassion. I even think the leader thing won't be hard for them to overcome (Dick would not treat Duke as a sidekick and Duke would appreciate that; they're both very aware of the importance of youth's independence).

This is just some of the stuff DC is leaving on the table by NOT FLESHING THEIR RELATIONSHIP OUT. For now I just have 3 panels in Robin War to obsess over :((. If they ever do a Duke-Dick special or run I will buy every issue and every variant cover and cry on the floor for an hour maybe because I'll be SO HAPPY!!!

[wings-of-ink]

Checking in - Author Updates - Quick Poll

Hello all! I hope you are all doing well!

I wanted to check-in. I don't have a ton to say on development, just wanted to keep you in the loop on where I am at personally since it tends to affect production speed. I also have a question for you at the bottom.

As I've posted about before, this year has brought about some challenges for me. There aren't a ton of good developments on that front, and my job is being...difficult. The (technical) good news is that I am still employed, but some days I wish I weren't. (I'd much rather be writing IFs, lol.) There is still uncertainty about the future of my job because it is at the mercy of the whims of my government. But what is more pressing currently is that my employer has opted to treat its employees worse (let me tell you, this is a feat because they've never really treated us well), by making our lives and jobs harder. I've made some "worst-case scenario" plans to prepare, so I'm just getting by one day at a time. Oh...and I also have needed to work overtime again, so that's another time suck there. Ugh. In May, I'm taking a couple days of off for me to rest.

In more recent news, I am doing physical therapy...yippy! In recent months I have struggled with my right shoulder. I assumed it was one of those "you're in your late 30s" pains, and I just dealt with it. Don't do that, by the way. I have a very bad habit of just doing with little regard for pain and discomfort. But, it got difficult to hug without pain, and nothing messes with my huggin'. We really don't know what is wrong with my shoulder/arm, but I'm doing virtual (oooh shiny) PT (not the Silent Hill variety) to hopefully correct the issue. If I don't see results, I will need expensive tests and scans. No worries currently, though, I don't think this will slow me down much at all. I can still write and I don't experience any discomfort when I do.

I'm also still working on a coding class, which is self-paced, but I'm sticking to a lesson schedule to make sure I get it done. I would really love to be able to make improvements of my own to GC or even make my own Twine Template someday.

So, in more fun development news, Chapter 6 is growing steadily. And so is Chapter 5, technically. If you missed it, check out this Tumblr ask where I talk a bit about that. The ask and answer contain some slight spoilers for Ch 5 & 6, but nothing too specific.

Chapter 5 is up by a bit over 1500 words, if you're curious, and Chapter 6 is up to over 69k words. I am wrapping up a big moment for Zahn, which might be a bit heavy. After that, there's a more fun moment, which will present a few coding challenges for me, but I'm looking forward to it. *rubs hands together like housefly*

Finally, I have a question for subscribers or those who may want to sub in the future. I find myself wondering what else to post about at times. Especially when I have inordinately busy weeks, I just can't think of things that you may want to see other than peeks at the chapter. I sincerely wish I had more time to add more projects. I have so many ideas kicking around in my head...

So, I was wondering if you were interested in seeing things other than God-Cursed that I have worked on. These would be things that may or may not become much of anything later, so I wasn't sure if there would be much pull to see them (or if it would just be a cruel tease, lol). I have an incomplete IF that I did to help me learn Twine a couple of years ago. I used it to just get acquainted because I am very much a hands-on learner. It's a humorous and simple story (loosely) based on an actual time in my personal life. I have debated about finishing it. I have a couple of others as well where I was playing with a story idea to see how it felt. I also have a complete romance novel which I am slowly editing for publication.

Patreon, Ko-fi links if you want them.

So that's all for me. If anything big happens, I will let you know! ^_^

Take care, everyone!

~Lunan

[libertarianbean-plz-dont-step-sh]

Initial disclaimer: didn't read anything you wrote in response to the others in this reblog chain because I was honestly supposed to be in bed an hour ago, so I just can't, man.

I mean I agree with what you said in your response to my point?

I know everything is chemicals, I'm studying chemistry in uni amongst other courses, so I am quite aware of the mechanics of... Life? So, for example, if I said I put sodium hydrogen carbonate in the cake I made you, you'd probably be reconsidering the pros and cons of eating a slice. But that's just baking soda. Not as scary sounding.

Fun fact! That example was brought to you (and me) by Ann Reardon! I have been subscribed to her channels for at least 6 years by now, and I watch all her videos, the one you attached included! So, again, yeah, I am aware and I agree.

I think the misunderstanding in this was caused by me talking about those "evil chemicals", when I was just paraphrasing things I've heard for years that I was criticising.

You then said that it's not correct to say that Europe bans harmful ingredients while the US allows them. But you kinda contradict yourself with your next paragraph?

Correct me if I interpreted what you wrote wrong, but the jist of it is that Europe tends to ban more things, even if it's not 100% sure they are harmful, because it tends to err on the side of caution, while the US strategy is different.

Now, I'm not here to argue who is more correct in its approach because I'm not qualified to do so, nor am I claiming that this way the EU has absolutely banned everything that is harmful. But it does imply that they certainly do so more than the US, who has a more lax approach.

I think a good example of the difference between the US and EU is your radioactive-looking, red-orange Fanta and our pale-orange/yellow, orange juice-colored Fanta, and how it's essentially waterdowned, carbonated, sweetened orange juice.

And for the last point about sugar. Yes, I also agree with that. Obviously. That's just how that works. [That would be the job of the parents, rather than the government, as it can't force parents not to make their kids drink coke (it CAN force them not to snort it though. Isn't that weird?) ]

But the word sugar as we commonly use it refers to sucrose, which is in the same family as fructose, glucose, lactose. So using less or no high-fructose corn syrup IS using less sugar.

Again, not a food scientist. I'm not nearly qualified enough to propose what to use instead.

But my point in my post was never to suggest an alternative, nor, as a matter of fact, to claim that one approach is better than the other. As you said, the US does better in some aspects and the EU in others.

All I was doing was fucking tweaking about having to hear whining for YEARS about how the US is supposed to be more like Europe, only for those same people to whine AGAIN when it does just that.

I don't care who's right or wrong, I care about inconsistencies.

I think being coherent is maybe even more important than being right about a certain aspect.

Because it's incredibly difficult to be right about something, and if you are completely honest to yourself, you will never truly know if you are right about a certain topic, it's basically impossibile. But what you CAN be certain of, is if your logic is consistent or not. That is something you can know

(that means you can be consistently wrong, but still, it's better than being inconstant AND wrong)

I can think of a hundred things we could do to improve our collective health a hundred fold more than replacing sugar with a slightly different sugar that breaks down to be the same sugar in our bodies.

Free cancer screenings.

Eliminating food deserts.

Free vaccines.

Free birth control.

Drug treatment.

Naloxone to anyone who wants it.

Okay, I am too tired to do one hundred. But I'm sure I could.

[dont-offend-the-bees]

Ain't That a Kick in the Head?

HAPPY (belated) DBDANNIVERSARY! I started this little thing a few months ago when I realised A) just HOW tiny that office sofa at the centre of soooo many Payneland smut fics is, and B) that Edwin was lounging on it with the back cushions at the ends. I dusted it off and wanted to get it finished for the anniversary but for various life reasons, my writing brain was not braining! Fingers crossed, I have a little more free time for projects now! Payneland, 2.3k, T, fun getting-together fluff, also on Ao3 (only visible to logged-in users)!

“Edwin?”

“Charles.”

Charles hummed, spinning his vintage football on his finger. Wasn't vintage when he got it, mind. But twenty-odd years being bandied about the same pokey office had made an antique of the old girl. “Been thinking ‘bout what Crystal said. About the sofa…”

Edwin gave him a look of mild betrayal over his book. “Oh, Charles. Not you as well.”

“Well, got a point, hasn't she? I mean —” Charles gestured broadly down to his knees — which were propped up against Edwin's knees. When they sat like this, cross legged and facing one another, they sort of met in the middle. “Barely room for one of us, mate! Not the best place for a living person to kip when she misses the last tube, is it?”

“Then we shall acquire a trundle bed. Or one of those —” he waved his hand — “newfangled inflatable mattresses. I hardly see the need to cast the entire office into disarray.”

“Not exactly a big redecorate, is it?” Charles teased, nudging Edwin's knee with his own. “One little sofa. Well, big sofa, hopefully. Bigger than this one. Maybe a bit softer, bit less, y’know... ancient.”

Edwin made an offended sound through his nose. “Charles! This sofa has been a stalwart of the agency since its inception!”

“Only 'cause the landlady let us have it with the flat,” said Charles.

“It has a history! Stories to tell.”

“You know Madam Seine was like, a madam madam, yeah?” said Charles, waggling his eyebrows for emphasis. “Ran a brothel out of this place when she was alive. Reckon some of those stories are pret-ty raunchy, mate.”

Edwin pursed his lips and fidgeted. “Well. Be that as it may. You cannot simply — simply oust something for being a bit worse for wear and... and a bit old fashioned.” He sniffed haughtily. “It is bad form. Dreadfully disloyal.”

Charles softened. He bit his lip. “That right?”

“Yes.” Edwin primly turned the page in his book. “I shall hear no more of it.”

Charles sighed, rolling his shoulders back against his cushion. They never sat with the back cushions on properly, these days. In the first five years or so yeah, maybe. But not for ages. Nowadays they took the back cushions and propped them at the sides, against the curved armrests, so's they could face each other from opposite ends of the sofa.

Charles wasn't sure exactly when they started doing it, or when it stopped being a one-off and started being the norm. But it just made more sense really, didn't it? They didn't have a telly to point the couch at, weren't ever watching something else when they sat side by side, so what was the point in looking at anything but one another? It was better to be facing each other when they were chatting, telling stories long into the night. Better for hatching plans and theories. Better for playing games, for cards and catch and crosswords and cat's cradle. Even if they were both doing their own thing, like now, Edwin with his books and Charles with his ball games, there was something dead nice about doing it with the other in the background.

But it was a tight fit. One of them alone didn't have room to stretch his legs out on this thing — the two of them? This was the least amount of contact they could have, both their legs crossed and their kneecaps nuzzling. Sometimes they wound up tangled at the shin, or the knee or even the bloody thigh, both too long in the leg and too lax in the boundaries to give a toss.

Lately though, well, what with Edwin telling him what he had on the steps to Hell, Charles had been thinking...

“Reckoned you might like a bit more personal space, too, is all,” Charles mumbled, picking at a flake on the worn leather.

Edwin frowned at him, bewildered. “This amount has been perfectly adequate for the last two decades.”

“Yeah, but it's a bit different now, innit?”

“How so?”

Charles opened his mouth, then closed it. What was he supposed to say? Because you're in love with me now? Because I've not been able to stop thinking about your bloody knees touching mine for the last two hours and if that's me, just in like a mates way, you must be going bonkers? All sounded a bit bloody dickish, didn't it? “Just is.”

Edwin stiffened. “Oh.” He closed his book. He looked... upset. “I see.”

“What?”

“I did not wish to make you uncomfortable.”

Charles balked. “You didn't — Christ, I didn't mean it like that!”

“Well then enlighten me, Charles, because I fail to see how else you could have meant it.”

“I meant — it's not me, it's you!”

Edwin's eyebrows pinched together in helpless bafflement. “What a... uniquely distressing platitude.”

“I mean…” Charles sighed, rubbing his forehead. God, he was mucking this all up. “I'm just saying if it's a bit... I don't wanna make you uncomfortable, yeah? Or — or make you feel like I'm... I dunno. Rubbing it in.”

Edwin's eyebrows over the course of the awkward explanation crawled progressively higher, like they were backing up very slowly to his hairline. “‘Rubbing it in’?” He parroted, disbelieving.

Charles groaned, hiding his face in his hands. “Shut up. Fuck. Trying not to be a dickhead, here.”

He heard a sound, a soft huff of air, and peeked through his fingers. Edwin was smiling — no, Edwin was laughing. Small and restrained, but a definite laugh. He closed his book.

“Charles,” he said — the word all warm on his tongue. “While I appreciate your thoughtfulness, I am perfectly capable of managing my more... inconvenient feelings for you when we are spending time together.”

Charles snorted, scrubbing his eye with the heel of his hand. “Are you, now?”

“Yes. Though it is certainly a struggle; reigning in my amorous inclinations when faced with the irresistible temptation of…” he glanced down, smirking. “Your knees.”

Charles mock gasped. “Oi! My knees are fit.” He leaned in closer, making their kneecaps nudge. “Eh? Eh?”

Edwin raised his eyebrows and, deliberately, picked up his own knees and planted his feet flat on the sofa. “If your master plan is to persuade me to part with a perfectly serviceable sofa via knee seduction, I am afraid you'll not find me so easily swayed. Regardless of the relative 'fitness' of the knees in question.”

“Got my number, haven't you,” Charles grinned. He cracked his neck and sat up a bit straighter, propping his elbow on his thigh. “Alright then. New deal: thumb war.”

Edwin groaned. “Oh, honestly…”

“Winner gets final say on the couch. Deal?”

“Charles, we have not had a thumb war since the great poster debacle of ninety eight. We both agreed the fallout was too great.” He looked off past Charles’ shoulder, soberly, looking a dead ringer for a poor shellshocked world war one lad in a black and white army hospital photo. “And that is to say nothing of the collateral damage…”

“Just a one-off yeah? Friendly competition. Peace treaty goes right back into effect afterwards.”

Edwin gave him a look, but he sighed and set aside his book. “Very well.” He scooted a bit closer, straightening his pullover with a brisk tug. “But I thrashed you in ninety eight and I have every intention of doing so again.”

“Them's fighting words, lad,” Charles laughed, face warm, pleasant, bubbly anticipation in his gut. Something about Edwin getting physical, getting competitive always made his stomach flip. Just nice, wasn't it? Seeing his uptight best mate cut loose. “You're bloody on. C'mon then. Put 'em up.”

Edwin positioned his elbow, flexing his long fingers — regarding Charles with a self-assured quirk of his lip. “Queensberry Rules. No funny business.”

They locked hands, fingers in palms, thumbs bared. Did the business, back and forth, voices chiming in perfect polite unison “One, two, three, four, I declare thumb war —” and then let each other fuckin’ have it.

“Bloody hell,” Charles huffed, straining. “You been doing thumb push ups or summit?”

“Well, they do say the pen is mightier than the sword,” Edwin hummed, all nonchalant — but Charles could see the strain under the cool expression, see the tic in his jaw as he gave everything he had.

Charles grit his teeth, snatching his thumb back. Usually his tactic was brute force, get in there quick and wrestle Edwin down, but the cheeky sod was quick, and stronger than Charles gave him credit for. Their thumbs dodged and weaved, a tangle of near misses; Charles had a feeling all Edwin needed was one bang-on strike and he'd have Charles on the ropes.

He risked a glance up — and found Edwin staring at his face. “Oh, you're wrestling me without looking now?” Charles snorted. “Show off. A-ha! Gotcha!” He got his thumb hooked firmly over Edwin's, pushing down, so close to victory he could taste it.

And then he got a taste of something else.

Edwin's lips were gone almost before Charles felt them — but bloody hell, he felt them, alright. Quick as a flash and twice as blinding; Charles could've fallen through the sofa, the floor, six bloody storeys like a stone through a pond. He blinked, thunderstruck, mouth flopping like a fish.

Edwin cleared his throat and, politely, pushed Charles’ unresisting thumb down.

“And three, two, one… there. I believe victory is mine. Oh dear, what a shame, no new sofa for us. Still, I am sure we shall soldier on somehow. Now, if you will excuse me.”

He was all prim about it, brisk, proper stiff upper lip — boarding school lad leapt right out. But Charles made a grab for his knee before Edwin could unfold himself from the sofa and scarper.

“Yeah, just a tick, mate,” said Charles, a bit strangled. “Um.”

Edwin fidgeted on the spot. Well, he unsteepled and resteepled his fingers a couple of times. “Yes, I... I do apologise. I am not quite sure what came over me. You were sitting very close, and... it is. Inexcusable. Perhaps you are right after all. Perhaps it is for the best that we —”

Charles kissed him.

He could taste Edwin's little hitching breath on his lips, along with the fizzling, ectoplasmic energy of him. Christ, how could anyone walk through him and find a cold spot; he was so warm, a cosy log fire Charles just wanted to curl up against. His knees, still pressed against Charles', smoldered like hot coals and Charles wanted to touch him more, touch him everywhere, see what it felt like when they overlapped at the shin or the thigh or even —

Charles pulled back with a gasp of surprise. “Fuck,” he blurted, steadying himself on Edwin's knees as the realisation clipped him round the ear. “I proper fancy you!”

It was Edwin's turn to flop like a fish. “I... do… are you quite sure?”

Charles laughed. Couldn't help himself. He clapped his hands either side of Edwin's neck, thumbs tucked behind his ears — had he always had such cute ears? Where had Charles been? — and just sort of looked at him a moment. His best mate had one of the best faces out there. Charles wanted to smooth out the little confused scrunch of his bushy eyebrows with his thumb. Count the colours in those clever eyes; lean in and catch those soft, pink lips.

"Kiss me again,” he mumbled, leaning in close. "And I'll show you how sure I am, yeah?”

And Edwin, well, turned out he didn't need telling twice.

~

Probably shouldn't be that simple, should it? Flipping the switch from Edwin’s best mate to barmy about him. But the fancying Edwin thing, that had been the tricky bit. The bit Charles hadn't been sure he could do, or do enough.

The loving him bit? He'd been doing that for ages.

~

“Well that was… an unexpected conclusion.”

Charles grinned, dopily, at the ceiling. There was a crack in it they should probably do something about sometime, but that didn’t matter ‘cause the view seemed pretty brills to him, sprawled as much as a tall lad could sprawl on their tiny little sofa — and Edwin sprawled right alongside. And slightly on top of. “Bit better than collateral damage, eh?”

He could feel Edwin’s smile against his neck. “Considerably better, I’d venture. I might even be open to re-negotiating our treaty if we now have… alternative avenues of conflict resolution.”

Charles chuckled. Their legs looked proper daft, draped over the end of the tiny couch, feet all tangled up in the air. They really needed a bigger one, now they had so much more stuff they could be getting up to on it. “Right, then. About that. Is it a good time to point out you did sort of just cheat, yet?”

Edwin sighed. He didn’t have a leg to stand on and he knew it — those bloody lips of his were weapons of mass distraction and he’d hit Charles with both barrels. “Very well. I concede defeat.”

“Proper decent of you, mate, cheers. Brills! New sofa, then?”

Edwin hummed, twirling Charles’ necklace once around his finger. “Very well,” he said — with the same dangerous nonchalance he usually had when he was about to whip out a piece of evidence that'd nail their suspect to the bloody wall. “Dispose of the sofa on which we shared our first kiss, if it pleases you to do so. I shan’t protest.”

“... Oh, you bastard,” Charles laughed, tangling his hand in Edwin’s messed up hair — so bloody help him, he was about to get it even messier. “Kiss me again, you evil genius.”

And oh, he kissed him again. And again, and again. And their socked feet bobbed high and stupid over the arm of their too-tiny little sofa the whole time.

…Modern airbeds were probably pretty decent these days anyway, right? ~~~

This one felt a bit weird to write honestly, it feels very much like the sort of lighthearted, sweet Payneland one-shots I was writing in my early days of the fandom, which just isn't my specialty anymore! But it was a fun little trip down memory lane 🥰 So, what's next for Mr. Bees in DBDA fandom year 2? Well, obviously I have some fics to finish -- Lonely Bones got backburner'd but I WILL get my head down and get the last chapter out eventually (and thank you so much if you've left a comment there I haven't replied to, I'm at the stage now where I find myself saving comments for when I actually have something new to add to the story 😅). Ditto with Somewhere Beyond the Sea, although there's a fair bit more of that to go yet! Chapter two is almost there but needs One more quite big scene because I moved the chapter break. Apologies for the long hiatuses on both of these, but as usual, I've bitten off more than I can chew and I find myself really only able to focus on a max of two big projects at a time! Two things you may see first: -the Ghostcat Howl's Moving Castle AU, which I have been working on for months with dear_monday and two_ravens (and idliketobeatree who is doing the most INCREDIBLE art!!) and is now in the edit stage: it's long, it's FUN, it's magical and romantic and playful, and we have had such an UNBELIEVABLY fun time writing it and can't wait to share it! Even if poly ships aren't normally your thing, if you have any enjoyment whatsoever for Catwin/Catland/Payneland I hope you'll take a crack at it, because it's gonna be a blast! -my Big Bang fic! Which, actually, will not be posted on this account, because it WILL contain explicit scenes! It's long, it's Payneland, it's tender and sensual and also the most tragic and bittersweet thing I have ever written, and if you want to read that when it comes out and you don't already know my secret-not-secret smut side handle, feel free to DM me for it! (but only if you're 18+, please and thank you!) I also may, for the sake of ease of finding because stuff does get lost on tumblr, think about making a work on here to post some of my DBDA art from the last year and into the future, because turns out I've made a LOT of it! I have other fics, long and short, that I really wanna get to at some point, but we're very much out of the initially hyper-productivity stage and into the slow, simmering-the-idea-on-the-stovetop phase of my fandom experience. I look calm and quiet but my little legs are working under the surface! I may post less frequently now but I certainly hope to be posting for a long time to come 💛 Well, that's all I can think to say for now so once again, thank you, everyone's who's read along, everyone's who's talked to me either here or on tumblr or in the groupchats, everyone's who's also created such wonderful stuff and made this fandom such a thriving creative hub, I love and appreciate all of you and I hope we'll all be sat on this porch for a long, long time together 💛💛💛 Until next time!

[dough09]

Mini Highland Cows

 incase you don’t know who they are, PLEASE look them up. THEY ARE SUPER CUTE.         Also instagram is infected by them (for valid reasons!)... at least my page Itoshi sae x reader Summary: You are obsessed with the fluffy mini highland cows on social media so you make a presentation for Sae, just to persuade me. Yet he just won't budge... or will he? plus he learns that you've been spying on him uNinteNTionAllY

Sae knew you were chronically online. Oh yes, he had experience too. His PR team constantly mentioned that you shouldn’t post so much about his private life, so you stopped. By stopping you just went in the shadows and posted pictures on a private account no one except you and Sae knew about.

Naturally by spending most of your time there your feed swarmed with cute and fluffy cows. Each time you at least send Sae about 30 posts. Daily. You obsessed over them while talking about nothing with him.

Begging him to get one for you also became part of the usual, same old routine. Yet he never complied. He said it’s a hassle and he won’t keep an animal in his apartment. Let alone a cow.

It didn’t matter if you wanted a dog, a cat, a parrot, or even a fish. He always mumbled that “It’s a hassle, and who's gonna feed them? You?” He knew that eventually it’d be his responsibility to clean its dirty stuff away, take care of them etc. You’d just give them all the love.

So when today you didn’t let him into the house unless he got you a cow he got really ticked off. He already had a long and shitty day, and now you. He loved you dearly but your absurd ideas often annoyed him.

“Say you’ll get me one!! Pleasee” you looked at him with puppy eyes. “No.” he tried pushing you out of his way. “You seriously won’t let me go inside my home? Just to be clear, I’m paying for this place..parasite.” He glared. Not meaning half of those words. “That’s mean.”

He only shrugged and picked you up to finally come in. “Try and persuade me then- to get you that cow-” What he didn’t expect was a full on presentation in the living room. “Why is getting a mini, warm, soft and cute Highland cow is totally worth it” so the title read.

He took a deep breath knowing this will be a long few minutes. He prayed it won’t be hours. It’s also useless, he will never give in, maybe to a smaller animal yes, but not to a cow.

“So first of all, their appearance should speak for itself- but that never made you excited, sooo here’s a few fun facts. These highland cows can produce milk- only a few gallons, so less than their bigger cousins but you can make cheese and butter from it…” So on and so forth. You rambled like this was the day of your life.

He swore he felt his eyelids closing at one point. The videos you showed did make him smile a little, but it wasn’t enough. “Say, cariño, do you really want to lock a cow here? In this apartment? Without grass and only a few “edible” flowers? Do you really think he’d be happy here?” He countered. Always wanted to ask you that but he was worried it might really make you upset- and he couldn't bear to see you cry. But dire situations, call for dire measures.

“W-well…that’s.. I’ll take him for walks-” “You want to take a cow, on walks? In Madrid?” 

Silence. Utter silence filled the room. He raised his brow expecting an answer while knowing you can’t.

“I mean no.. but then- then promise me to get a cow when we move-” “Who said we are moving?” he squinted his eyes suspiciously. “I saw your phone- and I saw.. houses” He sighed. “When did you go through it?” “I didn’t!!! I just…saw.” He nodded like he never believed a word.

“Whatever, we are moving because some fans discovered this place, only a few streets down though.” “oh..sorry.” “You are hopeless, don’t say sorry for such trivial things, it was bound to happen.” He opened his arms and gestured for you to come closer.

You sat onto his lap and he enveloped you into his chest. After a few seconds of embracing each other you spoke. “Soo…can I have a cow?” “Sure.” “but- WAIT WHAT? REALLY?!” “Obviously not. Look I had a long day, I’m exhausted, I came home and you are annoying me.” 

“Sorry Sae” “Yeah it’s not that I care just…”

“Fine, no need to get a cow.” He rolls his eyes and hides a smile into your neck. “Can I still have a cat?” you mumbled softly. “Y/N” he groaned.

[sh4nksslvt]

I love shanks so much😭😭

Are you able to write a story where reader is a captain of another crew? Their crew isn’t super famous but aren’t weak either. Their crew is staying at some island and a tavern there when the Red-Haired pirates show up and think that they might try to fight, but reader dgaf and decides to flirt with shanks and stuff. Don’t know if your readers are Gn or female, but could the reader be described as “as beautiful as the ocean” please? I thought that would be cute!

Thank you!

🌊

thats interesting! its not much but hope u like this~~

Trouble Walks In, and So Do You

shanks x reader | ONE SHOT

tags: fluff, ocs, flirting, chaotic crews

a/n: this js me trying to write ffs, this is experimental and for fun only, so expect this ff a bit cringe, akward, and confusing

word count: 1.2k

masterlist | ko-fi

: 𓏲🐋 ๋࣭  ࣪ ˖✩࿐࿔ 🌊

The tavern on Bellmouth Island had never known peace.

It was tucked into the port side of the island like a cozy scar—weathered, stubborn, and full of bad decisions marinated in rum. But even Bellmouth’s most seasoned barkeep hadn’t seen anything quite like The Siren’s Fang crew.

“Hey, Cap! Tall guy passed out again!” barked Kiji, the squad’s medic, gesturing to a pile of limbs slumped over a barstool.

“Is he breathing this time?” you asked lazily, twirling a glass of rum in your hand. You sat at the tavern’s center table, leg slung over the arm of your chair, adorned in sleek leather and gold-trimmed cloth, eyes half-lidded with amusement.

“Barely,” muttered Azel, your cook-slash-unofficial-grim-reaper, poking the unconscious man with a ladle. “He mistook my hot sauce for syrup. Natural selection.”

“His fault,” you sighed.

You were Captain [Y/N], the woman many whispered about as beautiful as the ocean—mysterious, wild, and just as likely to drown you as smile at you. The Siren’s Fang wasn’t a household name like the Straw Hats or the Emperors, but in the Grand Line’s undercurrent, your reputation had teeth. Rumors swirled of your crew taking down a fleet from Big Mom’s remnants and sinking a marine battleship like it was a toy boat in a bathtub.

Still, fame didn’t interest you. Fun did.

And Bellmouth was fun—cheap booze, rowdy locals, and just enough lawlessness to feel like home.

That was until the door slammed open.

Wind howled through the tavern. Bottles rattled. Even the drunks perked up.

The Red-Haired Pirates had arrived.

You didn’t need to look. You felt it. That magnetic, crackling air of too-powerful people walking into a space too small to contain them.

Shanks led the way, one hand on the hilt of his sword, the other resting on his hip as he scanned the tavern with lazy mirth. His crew spilled in behind him—Benn Beckman, Lucky Roux, Yasopp, the works.

Ten seconds passed. Then—

“Welp. Guess we’re fighting,” muttered Neri, your tactician, flipping her dagger.

“Can’t we go one week without a legendary crew showing up?” grumbled Hyun, your shipwright, who’d just managed to tape a window back together.

“Don't break my chairs,” called the barkeep, already ducking behind the bar.

You, meanwhile, took a sip of rum.

And then, slowly, gracefully, rose to your feet.

"Are we fighting?" asked Benn, eyes narrowing slightly.

Shanks tilted his head in your direction, gaze locking onto yours.

You didn’t draw your sword.

You smiled.

“No,” you said, voice like velvet. “But I do have something else in mind.”

The room collectively blinked.

You strolled toward them with the ease of a queen and the chaos of a siren in full swing. “You must be Red-Haired Shanks,” you purred, eyes scanning him with undisguised appreciation. “You're taller than I expected. That’s... hot.”

A pause.

Then—someone from your crew let out a wheeze of disbelief. Probably Toma. He’d bet two crates of rum you’d deck Shanks on sight.

Shanks arched a brow, lips twitching. “Not the usual greeting I get from a rival pirate captain.”

“I’m not your rival,” you said, stopping only a breath away from him. You craned your head up, voice dropping to a sultry whisper. “Unless you want me to be. Enemies to lovers? That your thing?”

Lucky Roux choked on his drink.

Shanks actually laughed, the rich, boisterous sound of someone genuinely caught off guard.

“Captain,” Benn said dryly, “I think we’re being hit on.”

“DAHAHA I know, right?” Shanks grinned. “This is way more fun than usual.”

Your crew was now in a full-on state of stunned chaos.

“I—she just flirted with a Yonko. Casually. Like she was ordering a drink,” Kiji mumbled.

“She’s going to get us killed,” muttered Neri.

“No,” corrected Hyun, “she’s going to get laid.”

“Pfft—HA!”

Meanwhile, Shanks tilted his head. “So what’s your name, Ocean Eyes?”

You gave him your full title, adding, “Captain of The Siren’s Fang. And yes, I live up to the name.”

“Mm.” He leaned in just slightly. “Should I be worried you’re trying to lure me onto the rocks?”

“I’m trying to lure you onto something, that’s for sure.”

Yasopp nearly fell off his stool.

Benn facepalmed. Lucky Roux laughed so hard he snorted beer through his nose.

“Join us for a drink?” you offered innocently. “Or are you too scared I’ll make you fall in love with me?”

Shanks held your gaze for one beat. Two. Then smiled.

“I’ve done dumber things.”

And just like that, the Red-Haired Pirates sat down with the Siren’s Fang.

Tension left the room like steam off hot rum. Chairs screeched. Drinks clinked. Somewhere, your sniper was trying to discreetly message your ship’s chronicler: CAPTAIN IS FLIRTING WITH SHANKS, SEND HELP.

“...And then the marine tries to arrest me, right? While I’m naked. In the bath!” Shanks crowed, halfway through a bottle of rum, hair falling into his eyes.

“Oh my god,” you gasped, clutching your side. “Please tell me you fought him like that.”

“I slipped! Broke his nose falling out of the tub!”

You and your crew howled.

A few tables down, Benn and Neri were having a quiet intellectual standoff that involved a lot of maps and dry sarcasm. Yasopp and Hyun were arguing over gun specs. Toma was getting arm-wrestled into oblivion by Lucky Roux. It was, in short, a tavern apocalypse.

“You’re fun,” Shanks murmured, voice low, only for you.

You tilted your head. “You expected me to be scary.”

“I expected you to swing first and ask questions never.”

“Ah. That’s just on Wednesdays.”

He chuckled. “You’re dangerous.”

“You like that,” you teased.

“I do,” he admitted. “But be honest. Is this all just to distract me while your crew steals our booze?”

You sipped your drink with a wink. “What do you think?”

From across the room, a yell: “WE’VE TAKEN THE BEER STORAGE!”

“DAMN IT, KOKO!”

Shanks stared.

You said nothing.

He grinned. “Marry me?”

“Buy me a boat first.”

“You already have a ship.”

“Yeah, but I want a red one.”

As the night wore on, chaos bloomed into something almost tender. The two crews, pirates feared across the seas, were now doing karaoke with a broken lute and a guy named Phil.

You leaned against the tavern doorway, watching the madness. The moonlight brushed your skin like seafoam, your hair tousled by the salt-laced wind.

Shanks joined you silently.

“You’re really not what I expected,” he said.

“Disappointed?”

He shook his head. “Enchanted.”

You turned your head to him, eyes soft now. “You’re pretty smooth for a pirate.”

“I’m usually drunker.”

You laughed, then reached up, brushing a lock of hair from his face. “You know, Red, if I weren’t a captain…”

“Yeah?”

“I’d ask you to run away with me.”

He caught your wrist gently, pressing a kiss to your knuckles.

“If I weren’t a Yonko,” he murmured, “I’d say yes.”

For a moment, it felt like the sea held its breath.

Then someone inside yelled, “THE CAPTAIN AND SHANKS ARE MAKING EYES AT EACH OTHER AGAIN!”

“TAKE PICTURES!”

“START THE WEDDING SONG!”

You and Shanks groaned in unison.

“Back to the madness?” he offered.

“Only if you dance with me.”

“Deal.”

And so the two of you dove back into the tavern storm, laughing, flirting, half-dancing, half-sparring with words, like the sea and sky in a constant, chaotic waltz.

No declarations. No promises.

Just two captains in the eye of a storm they both enjoyed far too much.

[heuldoch7b]

while i was gone, i was deeply contemplative about part of what made me take a hiatus in the first place, which is shame. long post forewarning

growing up on the internet (i was 10 when i started using the internet, back in 2010-11) and something i was (and frankly, still am) constantly exposed to was shaming others. ranging from "light hearted" shaming; this ranged from poking fun at an amateur artists work for it looking funny or it being super "tumblry" to shaming with the guise of social justice, you know "hey this artist draws X and thats BAD and if you support them youre JUST AS BAD".

when i was younger i poked fun at other artists and engaged in cancel culture, on a very small scale (just my friends and i) and i regret it. it was entirely due to my own low self esteem and peojecting fear of being made fun of myself. but ive retained that fear, even as i've matured and grown to understand how unkind it is to shame and mock others, ESPECIALLY as myself a weird, autistic artist who draws "cringe but free" stuff

and even with regards to problematic content, stuff that, reasonably more often than not, ellicits a "yuck" reaction out of most viewers, has turned more into a genuine social risk of getting a callout over being immoral or gross and losing your social circles and delving into isolation. this happened to me. i think it genuinely messed me up, and im dealing with it even now.

it has lead me to be avoidant of being honest about what i like, and being afraid of befriending others due to fear of being dropped again. this is of course not fair to you, potential reader, but unfair to myself as well. i want to develop a healthier respect for my friends as well as myself about what i do and dont like, and not feeling guilty for saying no or not liking something.

i think, as i remake my old pinned post, i am going to be more explicit on stuff, i like shipping the primarchs! i love it very much even. and if you do not thats absolutely A-OK. i like drawing the dismal warcriminals as genderweird. i like maybe skirting away from how chronically cynical and dour the universe (which i do still enjoy, im into warhammer FOR warhammer) and making silly, comfy stuff. fuck i LOVE drawing weird heroic nudity mythological scenes where some characters are like, centaurs, cause its sick as fuck.

and with all that i myself need to be okay with maybe people who i enjoy their work of dont really jive with all that, and that isnt the end of the world, its just being honest with oneself, and thats really important to do. i will be trying to maybe tag sensitive stuff like primarchcest better, so people can filter it out, but i am not gonna be hypervigilant about tagging everything because that would make me neurotic and id rather just be unfollowed or blocked at that point.

anywho, i really just wanted to put my thoughts down into words and share them, i honestly wrote this out and deleted it like 3 times already due to, hilariously, shame. but this is a really important topic to me and extremely relevant to my social presence on this website. i care for you all immensely, even if we are all strangers online.

i will be sad if i lose potential friendships over the things i like, but theres literally thousands of people if not more on this website, and it so fine and healthy to go like "eh no i dont want that in my life" to something like someones specific fuckin fandom art LOL

if any of you want to talk to me about your experiences with shame, id welcome it, may it be through a reblog or messaging me personally. i think its really important for all of us to be unashamed, mindful of course, but not stifling ourselves. be free have fun type stuff. i hope i can drop my own shackles too. thanks for reading