#but even more than that. how the FUCK do you whitewash a lion

[the-crooked-library]

just saw a clip from that mufasa movie. how the fuck do you whitewash a lion

[ultraericthered]

Whitewash Fit For A King

Somewhat related to the post I just made.

It's quite ironic given King Magnifico's cult leader-like status in the film that there exists a small but still sizeable (for this site at least) amount of Wish viewers who make up a cult following of Magnifico stans. And when I say this, I mean they're all that kind of villain stan.

Oh no no no no no...

Yeah, it partially gives me more cause to resent the filmmakers of Wish including both scenes with the burnt tapestry of Magnifico's sad childhood trauma-related past that spurred him towards creating his kingdom in the final cut ("If only I'd known magic back then...", "so THAT doesn't happen again!"), but at the same time, I feel like even without those moments, these people would've found some way of woobifying and saintifying the character and act as apologists for his villainy. After all, this has happened with virtually every fictional villain in existence in the history of ever. These kinds of stupid, immature simps who don't want to look in the eye the reality that their faves are problematic to the point of being literal evil villains have always existed, and a character like Magnifico is hardly the most perplexing case of this. I recall long ago reading the opinion pieces of someone who was an apologist for Scar from The Lion King, trying to paint him as a lifelong victim and Mufasa as the real villain (can't wait for the upcoming Mufasa movie to re-ignite THOSE takes!). On Xitter I once came upon someone who actually simped for and woobified fucking Ghetsis from Pokemon, projecting all sorts of mental illness and disabilities onto him while insisting that the character had some redeemability that has never once been shown to exist in canon. Even on here, there are people who stan Phillip Wittebane/Emperor Belos from The Owl House, to the point where they maliciously trivialize the religious trauma that Dana Terrace had to grow up with so that they can act like she's petty for "vilifying" the literal villain of her own goddamn story. And I don't even need to get started on the "Magneto Is Never Wrong" subgenre of villain apologism that you can find all over social media. These stans are all absolutely koo-koo!

I've seen this whitewashing/apologism garbage for villains spewed out ad nauseum and the Magnifico simps all sound the same as what I've seen out of those other villain simps - "He deserved better, he wasn't at fault for his mental downward spiral that Asha, the citizens of Rosas, and even his wife drove him to, how dare Disney vilify the mentally ill and victims of trauma like this, blah blah blah blah." And yet there was still one in particular with takes that made me go:

To be specific, it was the very same "Rainbow the Clown" take that this post gave a mention to. The person in question felt the need to mention that they're a Christian (and I hate that in the Trump era, that has become almost a red flag for me), and that as such, they believe that all black magic/dark magic has demonic roots and that they can recognize a demonic possession when they see one. Their interpretation of the film's events, which had absolutely zero basis in anything that was made the least bit explicit in the film itself, was that Magnifico reading from the tome of forbidden magic gave some anonymous demonic entity that progenerated that magic access into Magnifico's soul, mind, and body, and it overtook him. Therefore, everything Magnifico went on to do cannot be blamed on Magnifico himself, as he was "possessed" at the time, not in his right state of mind and not truly aware of the reality around him anymore. And this is why it was so cruel that he ended up punished rather than saved.

Yeah, about that. In the actual movie, there's zero mention of demons or otherworldly entities tied to that spellbook. The black magic itself that is conjured out from the book once the pages are read from and is able to make the spells and curses described within the book work is its own natural force. Its capabilities are destructive and once it bonds with its caster, it poisons their mind with an unbreakable addiction to using it, so that's why it was considered "forbidden" to start with. Magnifico unseals the tome and reads from its pages during his grievance-laden villain song, and we see this:

The magic comes out like green arms or ropes that coil around both of Magnifico's hands, and once they do, we see that green magic juice flow right inside of Magnifico, which briefly makes his eyes glow green as well. This is not "possession" - this is amalgamation. This magic binds itself to Magnifico like a symbiote, and in turn Magnifico is one with the magic now, committed to wielding it and making it manifest as awesome power to service his whims and desires. The literal next thing that happens after is the green fading from the king's eyes as he goes "Where was I? Oh yeah." After the process has be done, he shakes it off and resumes his singing, only now with the green dark magic at his disposal to freely use however he pleases. The magic and the destabilizing effect it has on Magnifico's mental state as he uses it to break and ingest magically contained wishes was not the cause of his turn to evil: it was the consequence of it.

And let's say that the book did contain a demonic entity that made the magic happen and it went into Magnifico to influence him from within a la Myotismon with Yukio Oikawa. It was still Magnifico's own damn fault because he chose to go back on his word to his wife and open up the forbidden book. He's no more absolved of calling out the demon than Mok Swagger is for deliberately summoning a demon to devour his own concertgoers. And no, "but he's just so traumatized!", "he's mentally ill with anxiety issues and was having a breakdown!", or "Asha and those selfish, ungrateful citizens drove him to it!" don't erase Magnifico's agency and capacity for making choices that he did, even in a limited time, think through and decided to go for it anyway. I'm not into the discourse over whether or not Magnifico could be redeemed or if he "deserved redemption" or not, but if you'd like to see a character's redemption, they need to have done some unjustifiable wrongs or else there's nothing to "redeem" them for!

(There was another Magnifico cultist who was a little more on point and likened the book and its magic to a substance abuse metaphor, drawing parallels between Magnifico and the character of Jack Torrance from Stephen King's The Shining. But they specifically paralleled his situation with King's Jack Torrance, when in the actual canonical narrative of the actual movie, Magnifico is Kubrick's Jack Torrance - the alcohol addiction isn't there to draw his inner demons back out so that a demonic entity can better use him and ultimately possess him, it's there to reveal who he always truly was deep down, which is what he becomes when he discards anything and everything in him that beforehand was reigning him in and holding him back.)

Another argument for the demonic possession theory? This part here in the climax, cited as the moment the entity was exorcised from Magnifico, leaving him confused and afraid of what he awoke to find himself currently facing before getting oh so wrongfully imprisoned.

....Folks, that's literally Sakina's wish, the first wish he broke and absorbed into himself through use of his newly acquired dark magic, coming back out from him. The green glow is there because, as just stated, it was that green dark magic that was used to eat the wishes in the first place. The green eyes and green glow fade from Magnifico to signify his power weakening. All the wishes that he absorbed after Sakina's come out from him following this. And if he'd really snapped out of a possession and was back to being his true "good" self at that point, why would the first thing out of his mouth be "NO! THOSE ARE MY WISHES!"? And if the demonic dark magic entity was gone, then where do the green magic hands that drag Magnifico into the tip of his scepter come from? The magic did not leave him because it cannot leave him; it's a part of him, he's a part of it. Reading from the pages of that book even once made him committed to the magic. It's a symbiotic bond and there's no breaking it. That was the point!

Last argument for this crackpot idea I saw from this person was that "high on green-colored dark magic" Magnifico cannot possibly be a valid representation of the king's true character because....his face when we first met him looked so handsome and kind! Look at him!

It's the same ol' "Hans' Twist Villain reveal was bullshit because he was not set up like a villain at any point beforehand, meaning he was not a villain until that very moment, and we can tell this because he never LOOKED evil!" argument, the one that usually relied on a single moment of Hans giving a sweet looking yet condescendingly fond and amused grin to himself after having met Anna that ignores all context, and is based on the idea that only cartoon caricatures of delightfully foul and obvious evilness have to exist to play the villain in place of realistic people in a Disney animated movie, as in real life, evil people aren't easy to identify just by looking at them. The thing is that some Disney villains, arguably all the way back to the likes of Stromboli and the Coachman in Pinocchio, serve as reflections of the dangers of people that have existed and still do exist in the world. King Magnifico is that for the covert narcissist in a position of authority that they're prone to abuse. Yeah, he won't always have EVIL BASTARD written all over his face, but there's context for why that is. In that first image, he's just talking to another person when that person is applying for a job working for him, and as such he plays the part of the kind, charming, generous and benevolent king. In the second image, he's looking at the wishes. The beauty within those magic wish orbs and the splendor their magic gives off make him very happy; that's part of why he hoards as many as possible.

That is King Magnifico.

^ And THAT is ALSO King Magnifico.

He's a villain. He visibly enjoys being a villain. He is valid as a villain. Let villains be villains and love them for that, dammit!

[cravingsfromatwistedone]

I just noticed your carrd says dni if you support Asian hate but where’s dni if you support blm hate/hate blm supporters oh yeah that’s right your racist anti black ass hate anything that got to do with blk ppl from characters to them having fun making edits you don’t need help you need to go to hell and keep blk ppl out ya mouth

Look.

If you're the same person who sent me that other ask that's filled with death threats regarding the DNI in my carrd if you support asian hate, blackwashing/whitewashing/racewashing, get a life and stop harassing people for it

I'll admit that I should have been more CLEARER in DNI and I'll change it soon so that people won't misunderstand anymore about it

Personally, for me, I'm actually fine with people making black edits of their favourite characters whatsoever. Or how some people like to change up the character's outlook appearance to their own preferences or ideation. To some, black editing is a way for black people/artists to have representation in media and I, 100%, fully respect that because even though I'm not a black person myself; I can see that there's a distinctive lack of black representation in all sorts of media. Whether it's an anime, a series of sort, film, etc etc. That's what I'm perfectly fine with

The thing I'm not perfectly fine with are the ones who actively try to shove it down your throat and force you to accept it. I've got my fair share of seeing people who does black editing but they act like they're more superior than others. The ones who put " [insert character name] is much more better off being black <3, if you don't like it, might as well kys " in their caption or how they go into the comment section under the artwork of a dark skinned character writing out " um, [ insert dark skinned character ] is actually black/blasian so the way you're portraying them is wrong :/ "

THOSE are the kinds that I do not want to interact with.

Having dark skin doesn't automatically make someone a black/blasian person and this also applies to having fair/white skin doesn't automatically make someone white person either. It sickens me to often see these kinds of people pitting with one another on which race (black people and white people) is better than the other so I, on the other hand, would rather NOT get involved with ANY of that thus I placed "DNI if you support asian hate, Blackwashing/Whitewashing/Racewashing" in my carrd

In short, I'm alright with people who support/make black editing on characters. As long as they don't try to enforce it on me.

And for god's sake, try to have a different mindset. Just because someone does not like a certain thing that certain/most black people do which is black editing doesn't equate to them fucking hate black people. If you think that I'm racist, wouldn't that make me a hypocrite for liking Leona and Jack from Twisted Wonderland to which they're also dark skinned??? And that they're also based on African origins (The Lion King is set in Africa but is also loosely based on Kenya and Tanzania) ???

[lucky-clover-gazette]

not gonna lie, the amount of hype surrounding windwaker compared to like. playing it. is not what i expected (i'm halfway through hd)

it just feels kind of empty? and i really really REALLY dislike what happens to tetra. it's genuinely hard carrying on with the adventure and just leaving her in the castle. there's never been another time in a zelda game where i've thought "god i wish i wasn't playing as link right now," which sucks? and the king of red lions is such a waste of a companion character. i like FI more, somehow. the combat is kind of oversimplified with the onscreen commands for "parrying" so victories feel unearned. the great sea is nothing compared to botw hyrule and some of the sfx, especially link's noises, grates on me.

i sit down to play windwaker and always end up wanting to play botw instead, which is the weird part of coming at the series without nostalgia goggles. i played botw first. playing twilight princess was fantastic bc it's SUCH a unique experience compared to botw and felt more compelling and streamlined than the controls and story in ocarina of time. skyward sword hd was good to me partially bc my expectations were abysmally low. i had pretty high expectations for windwaker and honestly so far i can find things to love (link's expressions and the art style, dragon roost island music) but in general it just feels a lot more hollow than a lot of video essayists express.

and yeah i know the story is special to a lot of people and a meta commentary on the success of the franchise or whatever but just like with skyward sword, i find it still pretty basic despite it being unique compared to the other games? again i'm guessing it's a nostalgia thing, but it's not like i had nostalgia for twilight princess, which ironically has my favorite story and makes its subversions in really subtle self-aware ways, and seems to really CARE about each and every character. god, i hate what they did to tetra in windwaker lol.

i also think i can kinda pinpoint why the open world in windwaker feels like a repetitive chore and i've spent like 1500 hours in the botw open world, storytelling is so much more possible and encouraged in botw. it's about the journey more than the destination. windwaker has repetitive locations that almost always have things to help link on his quest. botw world is just like, yeah there's a shrine, but just EXPLORE for the hell of it! learn about the world, tell your story! find 900 koroks and in that process become intimately familiar with every inch of the map! you don't need a fish to fill out your chart and tell you about the one (1) Thing to Do in the area. the game teaches you how to observe, how to innovate based on what you know of nature and the physics engine, and doesn't make 95% of what you're doing NECESSARY, which imo makes it all the more special to do.

link's character in botw has this profound feeling of wonder and experiences healing through nature after trauma. he grapples with identity and purpose in a way other links haven't, even if that's up to the player to observe in flashbacks and realize with the kind of gameplay that's encouraged. windwaker link is more of a coming of age story and just feels less meaningful so far to me personally, and it's even more annoying bc the main female character is both sidelined (and whitewashed which what the FUCK needs to mentioned more bc that's bullshit) in favor of link's story. maybe the second half of the game will change my mind, i hope so!

[skinks]

hi!!! what are your favourite movies? like actually good ones but also any trashy comfort movies? is IT (2017) one of them?

Hello!! IT (2017) IS ABSOLUTELY ONE OF THEM oh man, thank you for this, I love talking about movies!!!! This is possibly the most difficult question you could have asked me. Apologies for how absolutely off the rails this got, I just... love movies so much lmao

I’ve said this before, but opening night of IT ch1 was the best cinema experience I’ve ever had, I’m so glad I got to see it with a fully packed audience who were all laughing and screaming together the whole way through. I’m a huge fan of... everything ch1 was doing, the 80s nostalgia, the summer-coming-of-age themes, the solid ghost train funhouse JOY of the Pennywise performance and scares, the washed-out cinematography, the tiny background details to make everything that much more eerie, the kids’ ACTING?!

Like, a lot of the time I find child actors can be really awkward and stilted to watch, but I remember leaving the cinema really impressed by JDG and Sophia Lillis in particular. I liked that they were all allowed to be little shitheads with potty mouths, it felt like a callback to 80s movies like The Lost Boys or Stand By Me. The whole thing worked to make me really care about what happened to the kids (even if I do still have issues with how they handled Mike. I understand even ch1 had limitations with juggling so many characters, but still). I saw it another 2 times in the cinema and have rewatched it at least, I dunno, 7-10 more times since then?

Add to all of that the retroactive CANON R+E baby pining subplot? I just love it, as if that wasn’t obvious by now given my Whole Blog. It’s a really special movie to me!

Anyway!! Ok, the main handful of movies I rewatch all the fucking time are:

Back to the Future, The Lost Boys, Pride and Prejudice (2005), Jaws, Ferris Bueller’s Day Off, The Breakfast Club, Ocean’s 11, POTC 1, The Dark Knight, Inception, Die Hard, LOTR trilogy, Snatch, The Nice Guys, Logan Lucky, Mad Max Fury Road, Clueless, 10 Things I Hate About You, Billy Elliot, Dirty Dancing, Tomb Raider (2018)...

Those are the easily consumable ones that I’ve seen so many times I don’t really have to concentrate or think about them, but I really love them and unfortunately often KEEP rewatching them instead of new stuff. It would take too long to go into why I love all these movies so much because I could write the same amount as I already did for ITCH1, and everyone already knows why those movies are good, so, lol.

I think I’m gonna have to subdivide and categorise this whole post because there are too many separate criteria for... goOD MOVIES, AUUHH 😩

Okay so first off, HORROR MOVIES? I’m especially in love with Re-Animator (1985) and its sequel Bride of Re-Animator, they’re such good examples of camp and batshit 80s practical effects, and also EXTREMELY funny. I’m actually just gonna post my list of my fave horror movies that I do actually keep on my phone at all times lmao. These are in no particular order:

Wholeheartedly recommend every one of these. I’ve never been so scared in my life as I was watching Hereditary in the cinema, hoo boy. Mother! by Aronofsky is one of the strangest experiences I’ve ever had (and I actually saw it on the same day I saw IT ch1 for the first time!! That was a fun day)

Psycho (1960) and The Fly from 1986 should also be on there but I couldn’t fit them in the screenshot.

I’m a HUGE fan of a ton of martial arts movies too, like Kung Fu Hustle, Shaolin Soccer, Ip Man, The Raid movies, John Wick 3 is my fave of the trilogy, Drive from 1997 with Mark Dacascos is incredible, SPL 2, Ong-Bak, Operation Condor, Project A, Iron Monkey, and Zatoichi (2003) are some favourites.

My favourite Tarantino is Reservoir Dogs, fave Coen brothers are Raising Arizona, The Ballad of Buster Scruggs and O Brother Where Art Thou. Love some old-timey colour correction and weird offbeat dialogue. I also love Goodfellas!!! And Donnie Brasco! And The Firm, I’m so easy for any good crime/law/gangster/heist procedural like that, especially if they’re from the 80s or 90s in a super dated way.

Fave Disney movie is Tarzan, favourite Ghibli movies are Spirited Away and Lupin III. I remember watching Spirited Away during a thunderstorm one time and it being.... god! Transcendent! Favourite Pixar movie is The Incredibles (the first one. ALSO the documentary “The Pixar Story” is great and well worth a watch, it’s very comforting for some reason) and my favourite Dreamworks movies are HTTYD1 and Spirit: Stallion of the Cimmaron.

I tend to watch more anime movies than tv shows, so stuff like Akira, The Girl Who Leapt Through Time, Summer Wars, Journey to Agartha, and my ultimate fave anime is Sword of the Stranger (2008). The climactic fight in that movie is fucking stunning and should be counted in “bests fights” lists right alongside anything live action

Also if we’re talking animated movies another hearty favourite is Rango, and a Belgian stop-motion (which at one time I considered my favourite movie ever) called Panique Au Village (2009) which is one of the funniest movies ever made imo.

As for TRASHY movies, I’m not sure if that’s the right word for how I feel about these ones but.. dumb/silly/slightly guilty pleasure movies? Ones that I feel need some kind of justification lmfao

Troy - something u must know about me is that I’m a giant slut for the Assassin’s Creed franchise, so if a movie smashes historical and mythological nonsense together with fun costumes and sword fights, I’m gonna enjoy myself. Even if they should have made Achilles and Patroclus gay. Other movies in this vein are King Arthur: Legend of the Sword, and Immortals (2011)

Gods of Egypt - I know all the reasons this movie is whitewashed bullshit. But it was already bullshit with giant Anubis mecha and giant snakes and bad acting and ridiculous CGI and frankly I had a blast at the cinema (my friend who I forced to come with me did not have a blast. Sorry H***)

Avatar - yes, the one with the big blue people. This movie gets a lot of flack nowadays but I really do enjoy it just for the spectacle. The full CGI world technology was so new at the time and I love to wallow in the visuals and daydream about riding a cool dragon around in the jungle

George of the Jungle - I’ll defend this movie to the death ok this movie shaped me as a person, it is fucking hilarious and Brendan Fraser is the himbo to end all himbos. It’s perfect. The song Dela is perfect. I still want to write a reddie AU about it. It’s one of the best movies ever made and I’m not being ironic

Set It Up - I KNOW this is a dumb Netflix original romcom but consider this; it was funny and the leads had great chemistry. I got butterflies. I once watched it and then literally immediately set it back to the start so I could watch it again

The Brady Bunch Movie - when people talk about great satires or parodies you will see them bring up the same movies over and over again, Blazing Saddles, This Is Spinal Tap etc, but they never talk about The Brady Bunch Movie from 1995 for some reason, which they should. It is one of the funniest things I’ve ever seen and every time i watch it somehow it gets funnier

Some more general favourites that I do still love but don’t rewatch as often, and don’t wanna go into more detail about are:

Moon (2009), Crna Mačka Beli Mačor, The Sixth Sense, Parasite, The Handmaiden, Tremors, Wet Hot American Summer, Tucker and Dale vs Evil, What We Do In The Shadows, Hunt For the Wilderpeople, The Secret of My Success (I love kitschy 80s movies, is that obvious by now), The Green Mile, When Harry Met Sally, Rear Window, The Odd Couple, Breaking Away, Pan’s Labyrinth, To Kill A Mockingbird, The Eagle, Gladiator, The Artist, The Extraordinary Adventures of Adèle Blanc-Sec, Call Me By Your Name, Master and Commander, Pacific Rim, Kiss Kiss Bang Bang, Legend (1985), Emma. (2020), Flash Gordon, Trolljegeren, Hross í Oss, Beverly Hills Cop, Coming to America, WarGames, District 9, Ajeossi (2010), Tracks (2013), Sightseers, Mud (2012), Pitch Black, Four Lions, Shaun of the Dead, Starship Troopers, The Truman Show, Withnail & I....... Jesus Christ ok I need to stop

NOTABLE EXTREME FAVOURITES that I didn’t include in the regular rewatch list because they’re too heavy/not as well known/require more attention.:

Thin Red Line (1998), Badlands (1973) both dir. Terrence Malick

Malick’s brand of dreamy impressionistic filmmaking is something I find really appealing, both of these movies are gorgeous and unusual and poignant and, in the case of Thin Red Line at least, have a lot of things to say about a lot of rough subjects. I don’t totally understand all those things sometimes, but a theme with a lot of my favourite movies is that I’ll be more likely to love something long-term if it raises unanswered questions, or is surreal/esoteric etc. Plus the cinematography is incredible, and I wish there was a way to get Jim Caviezel’s narration from The Thin Red Line as an audiobook because it’s very poetic and soothing.

Let the Bullets Fly (2010) dir. Jiang Wen

This movie is WILD, it’s so much fun. It’s sprawling and intricate and epic and smart and really fucking funny, it! Has! Everything! A gang of very tolerant outlaws!! Jiang Wen’s beautiful broad chest!!! Chow Yun Fat absolutely DECIMATING the scenery, and the two of them outsmarting each other in order to gain control of a small Chinese town!!! Plus it’s long, but it packs so much nonsense and intrigue that it goes by really fast. Wow what a flick

A Field in England (2013) dir. Ben Wheatley

I know I included this in my horror list but aaaaahhh ahhhh Wheatley is one of my favourite directors (he also made Sightseers, and is directing the Tomb Raider sequel which makes me absolutely rabid.) This is a surreal black-and-white psychological horror black comedy set in the English Civil War about some deserters who may or may not meet the Devil in a field. People eat mushrooms. It’s bonkers. I love being blasted in the face with imagery that I don’t understand

Mandy (2018) dir. Panos Cosmatos

Speaking of being blasted in the face!!!!! This movie... I saw it in the cinema and I can’t even begin to explain the experience, but I’ll try. My favourite review site described it like this:

“...somewhere between a prog album cover come to life and a metal album cover come to life, and subscribes to both genre's artistic tendency towards maximalism: what it ends up being is basically naught else but two glorious hours of being pounded by bold colors...”

So, prog and metal are my two favourite genres of music. This movie opens with the quote “When I die, bury me deep, lay two speakers at my feet, put some headphones on my head and rock and roll me when I'm dead.” and then a King Crimson song, it is SURREAL to the nth degree, it’s violent and bizarre and Nic Cage forges a giant silver axe to destroy demonic bikers and there is a CHAINSAW DUEL. A galaxy swirls above a quarry. Multiple animated horror nightmare sequences. At one point a man says “you exude a cosmic darkness” and releases a live tiger. At another point Cage says, in a digitally deepened voice, “The psychotic drowns where the mystic swims. You’re drowning. I’m swimming.” and I haven’t stopped thinking about it for two years

Paper Moon (1973) dir. Peter Bogdanovich

Really fantastic movie set in the Great Depression (and also in black & white) about a conman and a little kid who may or may not be his daughter, running cons across the Midwest. It’s beautifully shot, so sharp and sweet and the progression of their dynamic is really well done because they’re played by an IRL father and daughter. Tatum O’Neal was NINE YEARS OLD and she’s so amazing in this movie she’s actually the youngest person to win a competitive category Oscar. I keep trying to get people to watch this fbdjfjdbf it’s wonderful

Alpha (2018) dir. Albert Hughes

THIS MOVIE IS A VICTIM OF BAD MARKETING ok, the trailers made it look like some twee crappy sentimental Boy And His Dog Adventure, plus it had voiceovers in American-accented english? That’s a total disservice to one of the coolest things about this film; the fact that they got a linguist to construct an entirely original Neolithic language that all the characters speak for the entire runtime. And yes, it is eventually a Boy And His Wolf adventure, but it’s COOL and fairly brutal, and it has some really incredible cinematography. The landscapes are so strange and barren and alien, you really get the sense that this is an ancient world we no longer have any connection to. And it’s also about like, the birth of dog & human companionship sooo it’s perfect.

Free Solo (2018) dir. Elizabeth Chai Vasarhelyi, Jimmy Chin

The Free Climbing Documentary. I loved climbing as a kid, I love outdoor sports, and I love movies that elicit a physical reaction in me, whether that’s horny, scared, real laughter, overwhelming shivers, or in the case of Free Solo - HORRIBLE SWEATING TENSION. Like, I knew about Alex Honnold beforehand because of this adventure film festival I go to every year and I followed him on IG so obviously I knew he lived, but the actual climb itself was torture. My hands sweat every time I see it!! It’s incredible, such a cool look into generally what the human body can do, and more specifically, why Honnold’s psychology and life means he’s so well suited to free soloing. It’s such an exercise in getting to know an individual and get invested in them, before they attempt something very potentially fatal.

Brokeback Mountain (2005) dir. Ang Lee

I can’t even talk about this. When I was around 13 I snuck downstairs to watch this on TV at 11pm in secret, and my life was forever changed. I wouldn’t be who I am if I hadn’t seen Brokeback at the age I did. I seriously can’t talk about this or I’ll write an even longer essay than this already is

God’s Own Country (2017) dir. Francis Lee

The antidote to Brokeback Mountain, I’m so glad I managed to see this one in the cinema too. It makes me cry every time, as someone who’s spent years working on a cold British farm with sheep it was very realistic, which is expected since Lee grew up on a farm in Yorkshire. I love that this movie isn’t really about being closeted, but about being so emotionally repressed and self-loathing that the main character finds it so hard to accept love. Or that he deserves to be loved. The cinnamontographies.... lordt... but also the intimacy and sex scenes are fucking searing wow who hasn’t seen this movie by now. 10 stars. 20 stars!!!

Tomboy (2011) dir. Céline Sciamma

I saw this years ago but I’ve never forgotten it, it cut so deep. It’s from the director of Portrait of a Lady on Fire and it’s about a gnc kid struggling with gender and misogyny and homophobia in a really raw, scrappy way, it reminded me very much of my own... childhood... ahh the central performance is amazing for such a young age. I haven’t seen Portrait yet but I feel like if you went nuts for that, you should definitely check this out, it’s lovely.

Donnie Darko (2001) dir. Richard Kelly

EVERY TIME I WATCH THIS MOVIE I UNDERSTAND LESS AND LESS and that’s what I love so much about it. I love surreal movies, I love time-fuckery and stuff about altered perception etc etc and Donnie Darko scratches all my itches. I wish I could find a way to figure out an IT AU for it, because I know it would work! Somehow! Plus it’s got the subdued 80s nostalgia and I found it at an age when I was really starting to explore movies and music and the soundtrack FUCKS.

Offside (2006) dir. Jafar Panahi

I wish more people knew about this!!! It’s an Iranian film about a disparate group of women and girls who are football fans and want to watch Iran’s qualifying match for the World Cup, but women aren’t allowed into the stadium, so they all get thrown into the Stadium Jail together? They don’t know each other beforehand, but it’s about their changing relationships with each other and the guards and just, their defiance alongside hearing the match from the outside and WOW it’s so lively. Great dialogue and very funny, and such a different kind of story from anything you usually see from Hollywood.

The Fall (2006) dir. Tarsem Singh

This movie... I guess it’s the ideal. This is the platonic ideal of a film for me, it has fantasy, magical realism, glorious visuals, amazing score and costumes and production design and a really interesting, heartbreaking relationship at the core of it. I don’t know why so many of my favourite films feature incredibly raw performances by child actors but this is another one, Catinca Untaru barely knew any English and improvised so much because of that, and it’s fascinating to watch! Also the dynamic with Lee Pace is one of my favourites, where a kid forms a friendship with a guardian figure who isn’t their parent, but the guardian grows to really care for them by the end. It’s like Paper Moon in that sense. What is there to even say about this movie, it’s pure magic joy tempered and countered by genuine gutwrenching emotional conflict in the real world, it’s also ABOUT old moviemaking, in a way, and it’s stunning to look at!

Mad Max Fury Road (2015) dir. George Miller

I know I included this in my “most rewatched” section but it deserves its own thing. We all know why this movie is fucking incredible. I remember clutching my armrests in the cinema and feeling like my skeleton was being blasted back into the seat behind me and tbh that is the high I’m constantly chasing when I go to see any movie. What a fucking gift this film is

Théo et Hugo dans le Même Bateau (2016) dir. Olivier Ducastel, Jacques Martineau

I only found this movie last year and it became an instant favourite. Initially I was just curious because I’d never seen a movie with unsimulated sex before, but it’s so much more than the 18 minute gay sex club orgy it opens with. No, not more than, AS WELL AS. The orgy is important because this movie is so candid and frank about sex and HIV treatment in the modern day, it was eye-opening. Another thing that really got me is that I’d never seen a real-time film before. It’s literally an hour and a half in the lives of these two men, their intense connection and conversation and conflict in the middle of the night in Paris, with some really nice night photography and just!!! Wow!!! AMAZING CHEMISTRY between the actors. This is such a gem if you’re comfortable with explicit sexual content.

Ok. This is already over 3k but film is obviously one of my ridiculous passions and I can and do talk about it for hours. I’ve been reading magazines about it for years, listening to podcasts and reading review blogs and recently, watching video essays on YouTube because the whole process is so interesting to me and I want to learn more!!

Recently I’ve been thinking a lot about the concept of valuing form over narrative. The idea that story can often come second to the deeper physical experience and emotional reaction that’s created by using ALL the elements of filmmaking and not just The Story, y’know? Whether that’s editing, shot composition, colour, the sound mix, the actors, how it should all be used to heighten the emotional state the script wants you to feel. And so, I think for a few years now this approach has been influencing the types of films I really, really love.

I think I love surreality and mind-bending magical realism in films specifically because the filmmakers have to use all those different tools to convey things that can be way too metaphysical for just... a script? I’m always chasing that physical response; if a movie can make me stop thinking “I wonder what it was like to set up that shot” and instead overwhelm that suspension of disbelief, if I can be terrified or woozy or crying for whatever reason, that’s what I’m looking for. That’s why I watch so many fuckin movies, and why I’ll always remember nights like seeing IT (2017) for giving me another favourite.

Thank you again for this question, I didn’t mean to go so overboard. Also there’s no way to do a readmore on tumblr mobile so apologies to anyone’s dashboard 😬

[felixnation]

THE TOP 10 WORST KPOP SONGS OF 2020

(WARNING: I DON’T LIKE THESE SONGS AND WILL BE MEAN AT THEM. I DO NOT HAVE ANY PERSONAL BEEF WITH ANY OF THESE GROUPS OR ARTISTS SO DON’T COME FOR ME IF YOUR FAVE MADE A STINKER TRACK THIS YEAR.)

Ah, 2020. The year where disco came back, the 80s came back, and everyone was titling their songs after nonsense words. It was a good year for k-pop overall, with a lot of new trends entering the game towards the end of summer. However, there were some real clunkers that refused to get out of my head this quarantine and pissed me off to varying degrees each time I heard them. This list is an attempt to chronicle all of those.

So without further ado, let’s get this shit done.

HONORABLE MENTIONS:

NCT 127 - PUNCH This isn't actually a bad song, hence it only making it to the honorable mentions section. In fact, I think this could've easily made the best list had it not been for one thing, and that's the presence of NCT 127, namely their rap line. The instrumental on this thing is absolutely killer and one of the best productions to come out of SM in a long time. The entire thing is bizarrely structured and incredibly gutsy, and therefore I think it's a travesty that an instrumental this incredible was drowned in ASMR-esque whispers and EYYYY WE BALLINs. There are a few salvageable sections, namely the first post-chorus, and we see glimmers of NCT 127's true potential, should they choose to explore this sound further.

CIGNATURE - NUN NU NAN NA Similar to Punch, I admire the production choices here - there are a few sections that blast you with 100gecs-esque womps, and that's always something I enjoy. The vast majority of the song rarely dips below decent territory, but since the entire thing hinges on the titular hook, it ends up falling apart right when it needs to bring the hype the most. I mean, building a hook around those notes was...an interesting choice, I guess. It reminds me a lot of fromis_9's FUN!, which also constructed the entire song around a terrible set of notes. Listen to them yell that hook at you and tell me it doesn't sound off. Most frustrating song of 2020.

ONG SEONG WU - GRAVITY Have you ever heard a drop this weak? I sure haven't. I hate the way he says DIVING INTO YOUR LOVE, the over-enunciation kills me and there's one syllable too many. Also, thanks Ong Seong Wu for giving CRAVITY the promo they deserve.

BTS - FLY TO MY ROOM I can't relax while listening to this, the beat is so sparse and has this nauseous sway to it that really makes me feel like I'm reliving these past 9 months of quarantine all over again. And just like quarantine, it really feels like this goddamn thing never ends. That final set of choruses is really a chore to get through, and I'm not the only one who thinks so - shout out to Taehyung for serving taste and I'm sorry Jimin convinced you to sing out of your natural range yet again.

TREASURE - MMM Ew.

I*ZONE - FIESTA It's a pretty standard girl group song up until that chorus hits and oh my god, who on earth produced this? Are they actively trying to trigger my psychosis? There are so many sounds happening that it feels like three or four demo tracks laid on top of each other, it makes me confused even trying to figure out what's going on here. And that post-chorus drop is horrendous, it's like the instrumental is literally screaming into my ear STREAM BLOOM*IZ!!! STREAM BLOOM*IZ YOU DUMB CUCK!!! YOU LOVE IT!!!

NOW FOR THE REAL LIST.

#10: TAEYEON - HAPPY

I do not like this. Taeyeon has one of the most powerful voices in the industry and instead of putting it to good use, she decided to put out the musical equivalent of eating a stick of butter. Bland, horrible texture, seems to go on forever and ever, you know you shouldn't be consuming it and you don't know why you're doing this to yourself, etc.

The MV contributed to my dislike, with Taeyeon whitewashed all the way into uncanny valley as she lounges around her beautiful apartment. Well of course you'd be happy if you lived in a place like that, I know I would. The sad thing is that there's some really nice vocal work here and there, but for the majority of the song, Taeyeon decides to serenade us in the most nasal tone that she can muster. I know she can sing better than this, and I'm disappointed in her for creating this and unleashing it on the world.

#9: WEKI MEKI - OOPSY

Whereas Picky Picky was annoying in the best way possible, Oopsy is annoying in the worst way possible. The instrumental legitimately sounds cheap, the drums sound so tinny and artificial that it's hard on the ears. Not to mention the hook, wherein the girls force their voices as high as they can go as they proclaim OOPSY! 

I'm a huge fan of cute concepts, but when it comes to putting out a high-energy sugary track like this, you're walking a fine line between adorable and irritating. Weki Meki didn't even try to walk the line, they just dove headfirst into irritating territory without a care in the world. It literally feels like the audio equivalent of having to hold a whiny toddler and then it pisses itself and the mom is just cooing about how her little darling made an oopsy.

#8: VICTON - MAYDAY

It feels like for most of the year, the vast majority of boy groups were stuck in a rut, knee-deep in sludgy EDM and leather harnesses. You know the songs I'm talking about, and I could've put any one of them here, but I chose this one purely because that chorus makes me feel like I have a concussion. I don't like this song nor the trend it's representative of - I spent most of quarantine having the same dark BG concepts thrown at me over and over and I'm glad things are starting to take a bit of a turn.

The bridge on this is actually pretty great, and the guys in VICTON do know how to sing, as can be seen in the final post-chorus. But man, there's just nothing fresh being brought to the table here, just the same stale trends in their worst form yet. The hook is so slow and drowsy, the same few notes just repeated over and over. I have not seen the MV because I feel like I can picture it well enough in my head just by listening. Are there harnesses? Don't forget those, boys.

#7: MCND - SPRING

Only Pentagon are allowed to do these concepts.

#6: HYO, LOOPY, SOYEON - DESSERT

This is genuinely unlistenable as soon as the drop hits, with a vocal stitching job that might be a horn synth, I'm not sure. That's how annoying it is. The producer is clearly incompetent and the performers are oozing with personality, though not the pleasant sort. The hook is  bratty and the raps here are beyond generic. After the halfway point, there are a couple interesting sounds thrown into the mix, but it's not enough to save things.   

Soyeon in particular sounds awful here, with her iconic nasally tone morphing into something genuinely irritating and borderline spiteful. Age up the toddler from the Oopsy comparison to around 7 or 8 and that's basically what you've got here. All I can hope is that this song is not influential in any way, shape or form, because I just had a vision of Blackpink imitating this production style and I felt a shiver run down my spine.

#5: SECRET NUMBER - WHO DIS?

I'm not sure how many Secret Number fans are out there, but I'm about to make all of em real mad at me right about now. However, it must be said.

This is basically Your Turn by Kaachi again.

I don't think I need to explain that hot take, just listen to the song. It's surprisingly amateurish, to the point where I feel like the vocals aren't in sync and they just used the first take they got from each girl. The raps in particular are awful, and I swear they even sound like they go off-key a couple of times. How this blew up in any aspect is bizarre to me. Anyways, stream Photo Magic and stan Kaachi.

#4: BAEKHYUN - CANDY

Did you want a k-pop version of Yummy by Justin Bieber? No? Well, Baekhyun decided to make it anyways! At least Yummy was sort of funny in how bad it is, this is just...a somber affair. Inexplicably, he manages to oversing the final third of the song, which I don't get the point of, but okay. Lazy, underproduced and overproduced at the same time, bland, boring, annoying...

Wait, did he just say...

Okay, I changed my mind, this is hysterical. Like Pop rocks, strawberry, bubble gum...

#3: (G)-IDLE - DUMDI DUMDI

I'm so sick of this group's 'ethnic' schtick, it's like they never learn. They just don't give a fuck - after a string of genuinely great tracks like Hann, Lion, and Oh My God, they just decide to put out this shit and expect me to listen to it? They're a group with a lot of potential, with some brilliant vocalists and the talent that is Soyeon (who really loves being on this list, apparently) but if they continue down the path of using different cultures as concepts I can't support them any further.

The song itself has salvageable parts, a recurring theme on this list, but the over-the-top tribal influences are so obvious and tropey that even listening to it feels gross. (G)-Idle have more creative control than most groups, and the fact that they're capable of creating works of art like Lion is what makes me harsh on them. Instead of moving forward, they continue to regress into their comfort zone of cultural appropriation.

#2 YOOA - BON VOYAGE

Speaking of cultural appropriation...are we gonna address this? Nah? Okay.

Oh My Girl, YooA's parent group, has a history of blatant cultural appropriation (and arguably some legit racist moments depending on how you look at it) and they seem like they're not changing anytime soon. That's why this particular song stings even more than it probably should. If you thought Dumdi Dumdi's tribal influences were a little too on the nose, take a listen to this chorus.

YooA has a bad voice, is wearing tribal face paint, and is running around the wilderness whitewashed into oblivion while a choir of nameless voices chant vaguely tribal things behind her. Even in an industry like k-pop, this sticks out as something in bafflingly poor taste, and I can't see how she got away with this in 2020.

#1 BLACKPINK & SELENA GOMEZ - ICE CREAM

Well, this is a predictable pick. 

I don't know why or how Blackpink thought they could get away with drip-feeding blinks content for 4 goddamn years in the lead-up to their first album, only to drop this big fat clunker on them. I honestly felt insulted by the song, from its cheap, tinny production to the god-awful lyrics. I don't know how anyone could find any value in a piece of music this soulless and hollow.

Lisa's raps are by far the worst part of it, with FIRE BARS such as "you're the one been chosen, play the part like moses" and "mona lisa kinda lisa". Unfortunately, these raps take up a good portion of the song, and there's nothing going on in the instrumental to distract you from them, save for that little ice cream truck jingle. (or at least I think that's what the producer was going for)

Selena is a non-presence and essentially blends in with the girls, who WAIL that awful hook like their lives depend on it. Also, there's some really cheesy innuendos here that're sung with all the sex appeal of the actual ice cream truck driver from literally your neighborhood. 

I loathe what this song represents - the only good thing about it is that the girls look stunning in the MV. And that's exactly the thing - this song represents the exact moment in time wherein Blackpink admitted to their audience that music is no longer their main focus. This is the peak of their influencer-ization, and only time will tell if they'll redeem themselves. (Spoiler: They sort of did, goddammit.)

[odinsblog]

Hi, do you think what the black artists like the wu tang clan, rihanna, niki minaj, etc do with asian iconography/style/language/etc can be termed cultural appropriation?

[re: this post about Madonna]

I don’t like whataboutisms. They tend to be a deflection. A derailment from the true problem at hand. And more often than not, that problem is whiteness.

Is cultural appropriation bad? Yes. Absolutely. Is it bad regardless of who does it? Yeah, sure. I can agree with that.

But PLEASE understand this:

White people—especially white people and white institutions in America—have made cultural appropriation into a highly profitable art form. They are unmatched in their ability to appropriate a culture that they previously made fun of, and then completely erase the very people who they stole their “new ideas” from.

Ridicule is the first part, cultural appropriation is the second part, erasure is the third part, and exclusion is the fourth and final part of how whiteness works in America.

Let me put it this way: if cultural appropriation was a sport, then white people are the undefeated Olympic champions. Black people are somewhere between novices and pre-amateurs. Largely because we black people do not have institutions like Hollywood (and even the educational system) constantly whitewashing history.

Again, your question was essentially asking if cultural appropriation was wrong writ large, and to that I answer, “Yes”. But if and when black artists appropriate another culture, we will never be able to erase the original culture we imitated. Unlike how white people have all but erased and excluded black artists from our creations, like Country music and Rock & Roll. See how that works, anon? Black people created Country music, but now Billboard & the Country Music Association won’t even call Lil Nas X’s “Old Town Road” a country music song.

I started out by talking about deflection and derailment techniques. Whether you realize it or not, “But what about the black artists who do it” is a deflection from white artists who have been teaching PHD level classes on how to do cultural appropriation since before you and I were born.

Maybe it’s just me, but I fucking hate it when the relevant topic is discrimination against women, and some asshole chimes in with, “but that happens to men too”. Yeah, it absolutely does happen to men, but nowhere near the same amount or intensity. And we were talking about women, remember? If one gazelle happens to get lucky and kill a lion, I’m not gonna start saying we need to focus all our attention on how “both sides” are “equally” guilty of killing. That would be asinine.

And that is precisely how I tend to feel about the subject of cultural appropriation when black artists are used as convenient deflector shields for white artists. If you really want to stop cultural appropriation, then stop white artists from doing it. Once it’s not okay for them to do it, then it won’t be okay for anyone to do it. Go for the bosses, not the low level street dealers. I don’t worry as much about “cultural appropriation” by Rihanna as much as I do by Madonna, because Hollywood and white society will never ever kiss Rihanna’s ass the way they still do Madonna’s. And therefore, Madonna’s crap will never be as suspect as Rihanna or any other black artist.

And finally, I’ve seen people call out Rihanna and Nicki for “cultural appropriation” before, but something people tend to forget is that their cultural heritage is West Indian and Trinidadian, respectively. So sometimes, when people have accused them of cultural appropriation of Native American history, they forget that feathered headdresses, for example, also have a rich history in those cultures as well.

So in answer to your question, can the black artists you mentioned be guilty of cultural appropriation? Yes, I’m sure that they could. But that is a far smaller issue than cultural appropriation done on a much larger scale, and with more erasure and ultimately, more exclusion, by white artists since long before Elvis Presley.

All this, and I haven’t even touched on the appropriation of black culture that is K-Pop music. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Oh, she had some bops in her day, but Madonna sucks.

[flopgoblins]

Ocelot Emperor

We emerge from the mists of Ireland - where we’re on retreat with next to no internet - to lay this offering at the feet of one of our favorite people and wish her a very happy birthday! @brazenbells we love you, thank you for two consecutive years of helping us write our boys, and for letting us throw them at your own.

Without further ado, the crossover smash the fans (us, mostly) have been clamoring for! Thanks, Ted. 

-

King Abran's throne was as vast and glorious as his kingdom. Made of teak, varnished until the wood seemed to glow with an inner fire, inlaid with gold and etched with scenes from myth and legend and the founding of his dynasty. 

And upon it, his wrists heavy with bangles, his fingers dripping rings, his eyes dark with kohl, lounged the crown prince, golden and glorious as a lion at rest. His eyes were lion-tawny too, and his neck was straight and proud, easily bearing the weight of the shining crown that rested upon his brow. 

“See,” said Matt, angling his phone so Nico could get a better look at himself. “You look way better in all this sparkly shit than I do.”

Nico slid off the throne with a gentle chinking and untangled the gold-ish polymer crown from his hair. Beneath the gilt, it was dark brown, but for the stark white streak Makeup had sprayed there two hours ago. “Yeah, the casting choices feel a little strange. I can see why everyone on Twitter was pulling up those fanart comps to complain about it. Still not as bad as the, uh - ”

“I know,” Matt said morosely, taking the crown back and putting it on wonky. “I don’t even tan.” They’d dyed his hair again but thankfully drawn the line at trying to make him any less pasty. Manufacturing sexual tension with someone who looks like a stretched out Oompa Loompa might be beyond even Nico’s prodigious talents. 

“I’m billed above you though. That’s progress.” Nico tried to get the crown to sit right but succeeded in tilting it drunkenly to the other side. “And, hey, it’s not every day you get a big-budget fantasy epic with a queer romance.”

“They cut out the incest. And most of the sex.” Around them, the studio walls yawned tall and green; the only solid things onset were them and the throne, and the throne was mostly resin. 

“There wasn’t that much sex in the book,” said Nico, who’d picked up the novel as soon as the casting call went out and gone through making characterization notes on every page. 

Matt, who’d read the first draft as it was posted on AO3, complete with thirteen chapters of kink that hadn’t made it into the published version, sniffed and forbore from commenting. Some hauteur was probably in keeping with playing Gael anyway. More in keeping with Tigris, though, which was further evidence Ted Nord couldn’t cast to save his life. 

“I mean, I love it, it’s a really interesting role, but I’m finding it hard to get to grips with,” Nico had said, on the first day of shooting. “Spending your whole life pretending to be being vain and shallow, because it’s not safe to be anything else. Wearing a mask so long you must start to wonder whether you’ve become it. What does that do to a person?”

“Dunno,” Matt had said. “Did you see Ray Lelacheur’s Vogue cover yet? Terrible shoes.”

Now that Nico had abandoned the regal warmth that had settled on him as if it was second nature while draped over the throne, he was stirring the pages of the script again, frowning at his lines. Tigris had been the most he’d had to stretch for a character to date, he’d told Matt, though he’d earnestly added he liked the character’s ‘chewiness.’ 

Matt, who’d struggled equally hard to locate the generosity of spirit and ease of power that was Gael, continued to think that Ted was just as bad at casting to type as he was to aesthetic. 

Nico tossed his white-streaked hair back from his forehead and dragged on his black velvet cloak. “Will you run this scene again with me? I keep not getting the timbre of his ambition right.” He mouthed a few lines, twisted a green gemstone on his finger, and cast an agonized, kohl-rimmed look at Matt. “How do I channel the appropriate volume of petulance, the feeling of a man deprived what by all rights should be his?”

Matt draped himself over his rightful throne, trying to arrange his limbs with the same boneless grace Nico had achieved so easily. “Remember when we were at that falafel truck last week and it took twenty minutes for your order to come and you started cursing god?”

“Suck my dick, Rose,” said Nico reflexively, but looked thoughtful.  

“Later,” murmured Matt, and closed his eyes to wait.

-

“Spy,” snarled the prince, rounding on his cousin. Tigris stood his ground, jaw set against the taller man’s fury, lip curling with defiant derision. “You intrude here, in my father’s house, not content to be left to your life of indulgent luxury, so desperate for attention -”

Tigris’s eyes flashed, enraged despite himself. “Attention? You think that is what I crave? Heavens forbid I seek a world beyond the gilded cage my uncle keeps me in, indulging me like a spoilt puppy and giving me just as much freedom. Attention? I would give my eyeteeth for less! If one could trade condescending oversight for actual knowledge of how our kingdom is run-”

“Our kingdom,” repeated Gael. He cocked his head to the side, curiosity warring with the outrage in his noble features. “You truly think it so, do you? But our father-”

“Uncle,” said Tigris, under his breath.

“Our uncle -”

“My uncle,” said Tigris helpfully. “Your father.”

“My - okay, your -” Matt stopped. “Gawd. This doesn’t work at all.”

“See? It doesn’t work half as well without the incest.” Nico flicked a gem-encrusted finger at Matt’s nose.

Matt wrinkled it and adjusted the hang of gold chains over his collarbones. “You say this like I’m the one who made the script changes. And for the record, Cindy was as cut up about it as you are.” Cindy, script doctor extraordinaire, had also lurked the story on AO3 as it sailed up the ‘Original Fiction’ rankings, and was as distressed as he was about the loss of the throne sex scene. “It’s not my fault transgressive familial kink hasn’t crossed over from the hets yet.”

“Kink shmink, it totally shifts the dynamic.” Nico flapped his cloak emphatically. “Adopted cousins isn’t close to the same sort of layers of resentment and entitlement being a bastard half-brother would be.”

“Right,” said Matt, who’d definitely only re-read chapter 12 seven times for the entitlement, and not the way Tigris hissed ‘brother’ while bound to a bedpost. “The morality groups would lose their shit, though. Probably it was the right call.” It was impressive enough his agency had let him sign the role at all; he’d already rocked the boat enough asking if his casting was whitewashing.

“The morality groups are gonna lose their shit over the gay factor anyway,” said Nico stubbornly. “In for a penny...”

“What about the negative associations of homosexuality with sexual taboos?” 

“What about double standards?”

“Sure, it’s a double standard and it sucks, but you gotta start somewhere. It’s a story about being an outcast and fighting for scraps of dignity, fighting to be seen as human by people who want you to be less than that, and that’s gonna resonate with a lot of kids. You gotta lay the groundwork then fuck your brother.”

Nico raised an eyebrow and Matt shut up quickly; he, or rather his agency, had made a point of never letting him be drawn into these kinds of debates. “And I think compromise robs art of its power. What does the author think?” They both glanced across the set to where a woman in a peacock-print dress watched as Ted struggled to coral the child actors for the carnival scene. Her expression, behind her glasses, was unreadable. 

“Dunno.” Matt ran his hand through his hair. The dye had dried it out and he winced at the brittle, dead-grass feel of it. “Only time we spoke, we both tried to get each other’s autographs and it was really awkward. Bet she’d have some notes for you, though.”

“D’you know, Rose, that’s not a bad idea.” Once resolved, Nico was all action and he stood, script pages fluttering to the floor, velvet cloak swirling around his ankles. The jut of his jaw said that nothing short of poor falafel truck service would defeat him. 

“Ask her to show you the predicament bondage scene,” Matt told him helpfully. “There were some really important character beats in that, I thought.”

-

“You think you’re too good for me, don’t you?”

“What?” Matt looked up, taken completely off guard. He was stretched out in Nico’s window seat, deeply absorbed in a thinkpiece on why Kai Bourke would have been a better casting choice for Gael, and thoroughly agreeing with it. Seeing his boyfriend prowling towards him with a look of cold fury and a bare chest was enough to stop him mid-anonymous comment.

Nico stalked across the room towards him, the taut anger etched in every muscle creating a frayed grace that was almost violence. “That’s the worst of you, your highness. It’s not that you hate me. It’s not that you think less of me. It’s that you think nothing of me at all!”

Finally cottoning on, Matt swung his legs around and tried to remember his lines; it was hard, he truly couldn’t remember what part of the script this was. That in itself was unusual. Matt would hardly claim himself a natural thespian or even a diligent professional, but memorizing lines had been a skill drilled into him since he was eight years old and it was a tough habit to shake. Still, while Nico’s words - Tigris’s words - sounded vaguely familiar, he couldn’t for the life of him place them in Ted and Cindy’s script. 

“But I’m going to make certain you don’t forget me, brother,” whispered Nico, and that was just it, Matt realized. It wasn’t the script at all. It wasn’t even the book. It was the original.

“You read it?” he mouthed, as Nico’s hand wrapped around his wrist. 

“Shocked to learn I’m literate?” spat Nico, but favored him with the shadow of a wink. No shadow around his eyes this time, no gold woven into his hair, but he was more Tigris than he’d been on the soundstage. 

It was, simultaneously, extremely Nico. 

Matt tried, experimentally, to free his wrist and found he couldn’t. He shivered, feeling his pulse jump, knowing Nico could feel it too. “Was that an attempt to dig deeper into the artistic truth of the work, or to mine it for weird, kinky shit?” 

“Yes,” said Nico, bearing him down onto the cushions, beautiful and vengeful and careful not to knock Matt’s laptop off the seat.

-

One of the advantages of shooting a gay film with your boyfriend - one Arose had certainly never intended - was that when Nico turned, grabbed Matt by the lapels, and kissed him on the red carpet, everyone laughed and smiled and Matt knew the gossip mag headlines would be jokes about dedication to the craft and not shock sexuality scandals. His father probably wouldn’t- okay he’d definitely mind but it’d probably be a side note in a meeting about how to capitalize on the film’s success. 

And it was a success; some desperately hot sex aside, reading the story - the real story - had apparently been what Nico had needed to pull it together. All the pride and fear and desperate clawing longing of a tiger caged that had risen like a heat haze from Tigris’s story, and Nico had captured it, had reveled in it, and put it on the screen for all to see. 

Matt straightened his tie and winked to the paps - just a joke between bros, nothing queer here - and resolved to fuck Nico senseless in the restrooms after the premier. Nico laughed and stuck his tongue out. He’d left the white streak in his hair for the red carpet, as stark as the collar of his suit, and Matt had to say, it was growing on him. 

[skarletterambles]

Gods of Egypt reaction blog

As a fan of both Nikolaj Coster-Waldau and ancient Egypt, I had to watch this movie.  It’s a hideous mess of whitewashing, incorrect mythology and WTFery, but I got it from the library so no money went toward it.

Random thoughts typed while watching are below.

[Warning:  Spoilers ahead, plus a mention of rape and victim blaming.]

So I guess we’re not going with the original story in which Set chopped Osiris to bits and scattered them so Isis had to track down her husband’s reproductive organs to conceive Horus.  I bet nobody ejaculates into each other’s food as a power move, either.  Tsk.  (Seriously, though, that’s for the best.  I have complaints about the accuracy of the mythology in this film, but some Hollywood adaptation isn’t necessarily a bad thing...)

Oh, the irony of Nikolaj playing a lionslayer instead of, well...the Lion of Lannister...is hilarious.

Yikes, they really, really whitewashed this shit, didn’t they?  Holy cow.  (That wasn’t intended to be a Hathor pun, but if fits...)

At least they made Thoth black, even if he does talk like Data from Star Trek.  Isis was like, “Did you ever imagine your pupil would become king?”  Uh, he’s the king’s only son, you don’t have to be the God of Wisdom to predict that.  Duuuuuuh.

OMG Gerard Butler is keeping his Scottish accent for this role.  He’s dialed it back somewhat, but it’s definitely still there.  WTF LMAO

“I will be the one true king of all Sparta...errrr, I mean, Egypt!”

And he’s like, “You have to be rich to enter the afterlife from now on.”  Since when does Set have any say in that?

I was hoping their animal forms would look cool, not metallic bodysuits ripped from Transformers.  What a letdown.  

At least this eye-gouging was significantly less gross than the ones on Game of Thrones.

*insert jokes about Set overcompensating for something with the huge obelisk to Ra*

Bek was like, “Derrrr, gee, I’ve got this blinding artifact holding my enemies at bay.  I could flee immediately, or I could be a TOTAL IDIOT and take a few seconds to kiss my girlfriend first instead.”

“Death is not the end,” says the generic doe-eyed love interest.  No, no, no, it’s “Death is only the beginning,” and it was a MUCH better movie’s tag line! This pile of crap cannot steal it!

Okay, Anubis looks kind of cool.  So do the giant scarab beetle mounts.

OMG this is dumb.  It just is.  Let’s fly to a freaking space station without any kind insulation or oxygen.  Horus, I can understand, since, y’know, magic, gods, etc.  But the mortal dweeb?  No.  He should have frozen and suffocated.

Geoffrey Rush is Ra?  What?  Whyyyyy???  He’s done such amazing stuff in his career.  How much did they have to pay him to do this?

Oh look, the Earth is flat after all!  *shocked emoji*

I’m not sure what reaction they were going for with Gerard Butler flying around on a sled pulled by giant beetles, but I bet snorting laughter wasn’t it.

So the other gods and goddesses are either 100% human-looking, or in their metallic animal forms, but Nepthys has pretty wings in human form.  Okay.  Sure.  All the rules are made up.

Scaling up the gods to be bigger than mortals was a neat idea, but I don’t know if it was worth the amount of CG that it must have required.

Did we need random bullet-time moments while Horus fights the metal bull men?  No.  No we did not.

These gods aren’t that powerful, if being pushed off a waterfall almost kills them.  I know, I know, they’re playing it up that Horus is not as powerful without his other eye, but come on.

Am I supposed to know who these two women are with Set?  One black, one albino?

Since when does Hathor have anything to do with the dead and the Afterworld?  And come on, you cowards, let her turn into a giant silver cow to fight!  She had one slightly bovine-looking tiara early on, but otherwise there was no sign of her true nature.  Harumph.

Oh, the black and white women ride giant fire-breathing cobras.  Of COURSE!  Makes total sense.  (WTF??????)

Hathor:  You should tell the mortal the truth about his dead lover. Horus:  No, I refuse. [Bek, who is walking like ten feet behind them:  Tell me what? Horus:  Oh shit.  I forgot you were back there.]

The Sphinx doesn’t really look like a Sphinx, but okay.  Did it just say “Oh, bother” like freaking Winnie the Pooh?  LOL!

Set just stole Thoth’s brain.  Rude!

The wings of Nepthys, the mind of Thoth, the heart of Osiris, the eye of Horus...by your powers combined, I AM CAPTAIN PLANET! 

And the most predictable patricide in cinematic history in 3...2...1...stabby stabby!  *golfclap*

Forecast for this afternoon, 80% chance of Apophis destroying creation...

Instead of a golden hand, here Nikolaj has golden EVERYTHING.

Horus is like, “That darn mortal had to go and be mortal.  Tsk.  I knew there was a reason I didn’t hang out with their kind.”

But literal deus ex machina to the rescue, Grandpa Ra (that rhymes!) fixes everything.

And they all lived happily ever after.  I guess.

What the actual fuck did I just watch?

I mean, it kept my interest.  Nikolaj was by far the highlight, as he was giving his all at playing Horus, despite the absurdity of it all.  So it wasn’t entirely horrible, but it wasn’t what I’d call good, either.

The CGI was really hit or miss.  The fire effects, Apophis, the collapsing sand pyramid, and the scenery was cool.  The bull-headed soldiers, the gods’ mech outfits, and some of the magic effects were...not as good.

Perhaps paradoxically, the plot was both predictable and hard to follow at times.  I mean, the major story beats were predictable, but the details of what MacGuffin they needed to take where for what reason got convoluted.

The female characters were cardboard and passive, existing mostly as eye candy and prizes to be captured by the men.  Hathor had a few decent story beats, but the narrative also glossed over the fact that she was kept as Set’s sex slave for years, and had Horus be annoyed that she didn’t escape to return to him, so...yeah.  She regained some agency toward the end but even then it was the self-sacrificing kind.  Meh.

I think the movie would have been better if it was just a sci-fi/fantasy world, without the ties to Egyptian mythology.  It’s not like they were going for accuracy with their depictions of the myths, or put in Easter eggs for lore buffs to catch.

Honestly, the more the movie went on, the less I noticed the painful amount of whitewashing, because it was so loosely based on actual Egyptian mythology that I sometimes forgot that’s what it was supposed to be.  It was just a generic sci-fi/fantasy adventure story with a bunch of white people (and a couple black people) in it.  The vibe was more Graeco-Roman than Egyptian at times (for which I partly blame Gerard Butler’s costumes).  I was expecting more attempts at authenticity.

That doesn’t mean that the whitewashing wasn’t egregious, because it really was, and there’s just no excuse for it.  That was the most serious flaw in the film, but definitely not the only one.

I’m glad I saw the movie since now I have an informed opinion about it, and Nikolaj is fun to watch, but it’s like a 3/10 overall.

[ts1989fanatic]

How Taylor Swift Inspired A Movie About Battle Rap

Bodied is the new film from Joseph Kahn, a music video director who's become almost as famous for his outspoken Twitter presence as for his work. But there's plenty of thought behind all his online button-pushing.

Last week, Joseph Kahn summoned the wrath of the Beyhive down upon himself — and not just once but repeatedly. For the average person online, drawing the enraged attention of one of the internet's most devoted and formidable fandoms is something to be feared and avoided at all costs. But the 44-year-old Korean-American filmmaker didn't just goad Beyoncé stans into attack with taunts about their inability to do real damage and quips to the press destined to immediately be taken out of context, he greeted the influx of bee emojis and tweeted insults like Lieutenant Dan howling defiance at a hurricane.

Or maybe just like a director with a new movie to promote. "To be honest, I did it on purpose," Kahn admitted over coffee in Toronto, referring to his campaign of strategic hive-poking and the resulting media coverage. And, he pointed out, it worked. "Everyone knows Bodied now. You can make a good film, but if you throw it out into a vacuum, the air does not get in there. The only thing people care about these days is celebrity. My movie has no stars. So all you have to do is know how to rattle the internet cage."

Bodied, which was the opening night pick of the Toronto International Film Festival's beloved Midnight Madness program, is Kahn's first film in six years, one he wrote with battle rapper Alex Larsen, aka Kid Twist. Altogether, Kahn's made three films, including 2004's self-aware Fast and the Furious-but-with-motorcycles riff Torque, and the 2011 teen-comedy-slasher genre mashup Detention, which, like Bodied, he funded himself. But the reason he's so well-acquainted with the world of dedicated pop fandoms is because it's the entity in which he spends most of his time. He's best known as a prominent, prolific, perpetually outspoken music video director who, since launching his career in the early ’90s, has worked with everyone from Muse to Destiny's Child, Britney Spears to Dr. Dre. And, of course, with Taylor Swift.

Since 2015, Swift has been the music artist with whom Kahn's career has been most closely linked. It's a connection boosted, in part, by Kahn's willingness to wade into the online fray in defense of the seemingly eternally embattled pop star (it's in talking about Swift that Kahn is most careful with his words, describing her as an "excellent target"). Kahn has directed five music videos for Swift, including the monster that is "Blank Space" (2.16 billion views and counting) and late August's internet-breaker "Look What You Made Me Do." He was still slugging it out on behalf of the latter, an intensely parsed and much-discussed video in which Swift contends with her past personas, in the days leading up to the Bodied premiere.

Kahn obviously isn't afraid of controversy or a fight. At a time when people working in Hollywood have gotten increasingly cautious about their online presences, he's maintained one of most markedly salty, trolly Twitter feeds of any filmmaker working today. (Illustrative sample: "I just gotta remind everyone that my twitter has only one message. Fuck you.") These facts are even more crystal clear when watching Bodied, which stars former Disney Channel actor Calum Worthy and actual battle rappers like Dumbfoundead and Dizaster, and is a button-pushing comedy that uses the underground hip-hop scene as a way to tackle language wars, cultural appropriation, and freedom of speech.

But if that pitch sounds like the ramp-up to the kind of potential nightmare 4chan apologia you'd want to run away from, screaming, the reality of Bodied is a lot more conflicted, considered, overstuffed with ideas, and yes, sometimes, even sensitive. It’s a film that argues on behalf of the right to say anything while simultaneously emphasizing how much words can wound. "This film has a lot of issues in it, and I'm not dismissing any of them," Kahn said. "In fact, one of the things we're trying to figure out is, in the world of absolute free speech, is there a limit? Is there a consequence to going too far? I wanted to explore the furthest reach of that."

Bodied was produced by Eminem, another artist Kahn's directed videos for, and a man who famously got his start in the freestyle rap battle scene. But while Eight Mile gets name-checked in Bodied, the film primarily owes its existence to a Swift controversy. More specifically, it was born out of the one kicked up by the video Kahn did for "Wildest Dreams," shot in part in the Serengeti and meant to evoke a location shoot for an old Hollywood production à la The African Queen, with Swift and Scott Eastwood playing actors whose onscreen romance bleeds into real life.

Kahn was aware there were, to use his word, "complexities" to this concept from the start — plenty of shit in which to step. These included concerns as to whether the video would accidentally make it look like Swift was out to shoot lions instead of a film, and whether she'd be accused of "whitewashing history and ignoring segregation" if Kahn cast a black actor to play the director of the fictional feature, as was his original impulse. These considerations failed to dampen the firestorm of arguments the video set off about whether Swift was romanticizing colonization and erasing Africans from the African setting. Kahn wasn't having it.

"I started making jokes about it. I had one joke where I said, 'Asians can't be racists. Black or white, all dogs taste the same to us.' Paper magazine wrote an entire hit piece on me talking about how I don't do videos for minorities, which is absurd, because I've done 30 years of music videos and half of them are hip-hop." Eventually, he said, the furor became an inspiration. "I thought, this is insane — no matter what I write or what I say, they just want to be social media bullies. And the nature of even talking about race is so constricted behind the accusation, and not over the analysis, and I thought, Wow, there's a movie."

Which is where battle rap came in. "There's an anger in me, and it only seemed to be expressed by a world where a white guy and a black guy could make completely racist jokes against each other, worse than anything I've ever written, and then they go get a beer together," Kahn explained. But in addition to its particular hip-hop scene, Bodied also keeps one foot on campus, where woker-than-thou characters are shown trying to one-up each other in circular conversations about race, gender, class, and privilege. One of the most provocative ideas the film floats is that the vocabulary of social justice has been co-opted for verbal one-upmanship just as competitive as battle rap.

"I feel sometimes like when people who can't outsmart me online, they'll just go back to my old tweets and say, 'Look, he's racist, don't listen to him.' It's dirty play," Kahn says. "They don't know me. They're just taking jokes, and saying that all stereotyped jokes are racist, which I genuinely do not believe. A joke is a contradiction you agree with. Just because the contradiction is dangerous doesn't mean you don't agree with it." Kahn sees Bodied as embracing that sense of danger, while acknowledging that the intersection he's been occupying between an incendiary indie movie and young music fandom can be "messy and ugly."

But also, maybe, advantageous? Bodied, which was well-received at TIFF, has yet to cement a distributor, but Kahn's been tweeting about getting multiple offers. And certainly, for Kahn, all the attention didn't hurt in getting to this place, even if so much of it was angry. "I don't think it really means much," he said of the online uproar. "I think, on one level, it's just blowing up the pop stan world," which then becomes a conduit to draw more promotion of his film work, especially when it comes to his already infamous LA Times interview in which he joked, "Beyoncé copied 'Bad Blood.'" "How many indie films get linked hundreds of times in an interview with a filmmaker talking about race?" he pointed out. Then, not one to resist, he added, "Thank you, Beyhive."

ts1989fanatic love this description of Joseph Kahn’s Twitter Feed:

Kahn obviously isn't afraid of controversy or a fight. At a time when people working in Hollywood have gotten increasingly cautious about their online presences, he's maintained one of most markedly salty, trolly Twitter feeds of any filmmaker working today. (Illustrative sample: "I just gotta remind everyone that my twitter has only one message. Fuck you.")

[daphne-annblake]

First things first - introduce yourself!

  You obviously don’t have to give us your real life name, but whatever pseudonym or character name you use is totally fine. Tell us a little bit about yourself, such as how long you’ve been roleplaying, what sorts of characters you normally play, and what verses you normally find yourself in!

  You can call me ,Nell for the time being.

I’ve been in so many verse kind of just floating around but Disney even dark Disney has always been so interesting to me I love it.

  Have you ever owned or moderated a group or site before? I’ve been a co-owner of a group but this was a long while ago.

  It’s okay if you haven’t! We’re not judging you on that, and we know that experience doesn’t necessarily make a good co-owner.

  What is your normal style of writing?

****** My writing style extends from multi para to novella.

  This group is going to be multi-para to novella, but you don’t have to feel obligated to write novella if that’s not what you’re comfortable with.

  Would you be willing to provide us with a writing sample? Yes , attached below .

  After all, this is for a writing group, and we have to make sure we’d accept you into the group in the first place!

  Are you okay with discord? ** Yes I ‘am okay with discord

  We personally use discord as our main means of communication, and you will be required to join the owner chat on discord if you are accepted.

  This group is going to have themes of horror, gore, mental illness, and other really dark and fucked up stuff – are you comfortable with that?

  **** Yes, I am comfortable with these themes.

    Generally when people say they’re okay with twisted stuff, they’re not always okay with the really dark stuff that would be taking place in this world. After all, they’re in an asylum that runs on fear surrounded by a nightmare land that wants to eat them alive. They’re not exactly having a good day. Would you be okay running a group with these darker themes? **** Yes

  So, you’re probably wondering what your duties are going to be, right?

  Currently, we are looking to bring on one or two more co-owners to help us out with this group, as we know how big a group like this can get from previous experiences. we’ll break it down for you below.

  owner 1 (randall) – storyline stuff, character creation, reviewing auditions, sending verdicts, recruiting, activity checks, blogs, drama stomper, responding to messages, posting statuses

owner 2 (frankie) – storyline stuff, character creation, reviewing auditions, sending verdicts, updating the tumblr, recruiting, group event organizer (such as movie nights or game nights), character development tasks (such as drabble prompts, moodboard challenges, playlists, etc.), posting statuses, editing graphics for the main page (such as member pictures)

owner 3 (you?) – reviewing auditions, recruiting, posting statuses, affiliations, share train, members only page updates, general page updates on the main

owner 4 (you?) – reviewing auditions, recruiting, posting statuses, general page updates on the main, forums (this role would need knowledge of how the groups on roleplayer work, so you can set up the forums and organize those), coming up with group storyline ideas (though we’re always around to help with ideas), and any special promotions (such as any sample goes or same day verdicts)

  which owner slot are you wanting to go for? Owner 3

  Also note here than any Photoshop knowledge is welcomed and appreciated, but is not necessary for any of the owner positions. ** I have a tiny bit but nothing crazy /

      And now we’ll take a turn towards more personal things to make sure that you’ll click with us as a potential co-owner!

  So, at the beginning of this year we opened a group called Arcana Imperii and we honestly loved it so, so much. AI has, and will always be, our baby, but we were quickly overwhelmed and things behind the scenes were not going so well. When we decided to close AI, we thought it would be forever, and in some ways, that’s true. Shadow Play will not be AI, and the world has been reinvented in some ways to allow for more creative freedom and to make things easier on us overall. If you were a member of Arcana Imperii before, we welcome you back with open arms, and hope that you’ll join us on this new adventure even if you don’t decide to try and become one of our co-owners!

      how do you feel about the diversity on role-player as a whole? **** I’m all for it.

  We are personally of the opinion that role-player could use more diversity overall, and we especially don’t like the whitewashing of animated characters across the board. We will always stand by the idea that using people of color for your characters should be encouraged, and we’re always excited to see new interpretations of characters – as long as it’s respectfully done. as an example – seeing someone using an asian woman for snow white would be really cool simply because it’s not done as often, and adds a new perspective to the character, but seeing someone use a white man for simba from the lion king is a no go because that movie is set in africa and inspired by african culture, and only black people should be used for those characters in our minds.

  How do you feel about lgbtq+ characters (and people, for that matter)?

 I have no problem with it, for the simple fact that I look at everybody the same. Everyone is a person and should be treated as such.

  As two Trans men, this is an issue that’s incredibly near and dear to us. we love seeing people exploring the gender identities of their characters along with sexual identities, but we wanted to make sure that that was something you were okay with – because if not, then we definitely know this won’t work out.

      and finally, a promise.

  This group means the world to us and we can’t wait to see what we can all do together – but here is where we ask you to please, please promise that you will not abuse the trust we’ll put in you as our co-owners if you are chosen, and don’t hijack or delete anything that we create. Be a decent human being and a good person, please.

I solemnly swear!

[speaker-of-the-black-hand-blog]

I do have a problem with the black Ariel. Not because I am racist, no. I have questions, rather. Questions like... why? Why do they need to change an icon to suit the minority? Why not make a whole new character that can represent them better than a mere re-skin? It's like taking the leftovers of an old, disgusting ass meal and giving them to a homeless person while telling them it's fresh and delicious and they should be grateful to have it, even though they deserve better.

They don't need to change a character that has been a certain way for the entirety of her existence as a fictional character in one of disney's iconic animated films.

Disney just wants to seem "woke", hiding the bullshit and laziness of their unnecessary live action remakes behind the shield of things like "they don't like black Ariel just because she's black and they're racist!!!" and because making a new character would take too much time and effort.

The rat demands money and he wants it now! On the topic of money, let's talk about the whole "remaking old movies into live action" bullcrap. Why is any of this necessary? In my opinion it lacks the charm of the classic films. The TLK remake, as an example, just looks like lions. That's it. They're lions in a movie adaptation of Hamlet. Their designs aren't interesting or memorable, because they're just lions. Little me (and 17 year old me, tbh) enjoys the old movie for how creative and fun it was with its designs. It was amazing to see the animation and it became a huge inspiration for me on my early years. I would draw scenes of the movie frame by frame (or try to) and pretend I was an animator. I would try to make my own creative designs.

The CGI looks great, no one can argue with that. And I'm not trying to say that CGI is lazy or worthless. That is far from the truth. But that's all the movie is. A display of CGI that is beating the rotting remains of a classic film, that was animated in a seemingly dying medium with a lot of care, like a money piñata. Just to cash in on nostalgia and the overuse of 3D animation in modern films.

My point is, they could be doing way better things with these movies than they are. Why not explore their worlds a bit more with new characters and plots instead of reheating the old with oh so slight and insignificant changes? Wouldn't they be able to represent the minorities better by handcrafting new stories and characters that could take over the spotlight as new role models for currently young children in the years to come, instead of re-skinning characters that existed already and thus changing them entirely for those who grew up with said characters being a certain way? You know, the leftovers of the classic Disney films?

To hell with the people who are throwing a hissy fit over a 5 second scene of two lesbian moms. I want a whole ass, NEW film that takes the minorities and makes them into NEW and memorable characters of their own instead of money-hungry remakes trying to seem "woke". Sign me the fuck up for LGBT+ moms, characters that aren't whitewashed, that are of differing religions, speak other languages, and all else! Those I would be willing to watch and support more than "here's black Ariel with probably minor plot changes, Alladin with more Jasmine that honestly doesn't add much to the plot and entirely putting down the memorable and fun designs of our old charcters for the sake of realism because "yes it would look bad, but it's CGI guys!!!".

Nonna News: People who always get everything mad they didn’t get a crumb of something they’ve owned for the past century

A couple weeks ago, my family and I went to see Toy Story 4; in fact, I was going to write a review on it, but it took a lot out of my grandchildren and I, being the classic that they grew up on, and I would rather not spoil the memory I have of it. But something has been brought to my attention and I feel a responsibility to discuss it in some way.

A site of the web by the name of “One Million Moms” has started a petition against a “dangerous” scene in the movie, in which two lesbian moms are seen dropping off their kid at daycare. I have a few things to say about this.

First of all, who are these one million moms? Who do you speak for? What about the other 1,999,000,000 mothers? At first, I thought they referred to American mothers, but then I released my research hound (also known as my granddaughter) and learned that there are 84.5 million mothers in the US. So really, who are these women? Have they considered that some of those moms are not straight? This all sounds a bit elitist to me.

Whoever these people may be, they seem very upset by the three, maybe four-second scene in which we see a fully functional and loving family doing functional and loving family things. If I may be honest, I didn’t even remember the scene. When I told my granddaughter about the petition, she said “there’s a lesbian couple in Toy Story 4?”. She didn’t even notice. And she likes girls.

But these One Million Moms noticed. And they’re determined to stop Disney from showing their children what some happy families look like. No sir, no lesbian movies in our home, only those in which the teenage children are abused and traumatised by their parental figures.

What I really find almost funny in all this is that the reasoning behind this whole petition thing is “if the children see gay people, they’ll become gay”. My own grandchild grew up in a time when there was little to no homosexual representation in movies and look where she is now. Pretty gay. But mostly very pretty. And single. Write your mobile number in the asks if you’re interested. You should be interested, you know? She’s smart, she can cook, she dresses well, she speaks three languages…

Another thing people seem to have been really mad about this month is the casting of the new Ariel in the Little Mermaid movie remake with real people thing. “But the Little Mermaid has always been white!!!!”. I mean yeah, but you know what else she is? Not real. You know what’s very real? The millions of little girls who will get to see someone who looks like them do cool stuff and feel appreciated and seen. Sit down and have some calming tea, Sharon.

Now listen, I’m seventy-four years old and I have seen a great deal of hate in my lifetime. I can guarantee it will not get you anywhere. You can yell and throw as many things as you want, but a heart full of hate will stay a heart full of hate, and those you hurt will grow and flourish more than you ever will.

Believe me, my dears, love is the key to a good life. Love as many things and as many people as your heart can. It’s only when you love that you are truly alive.

Love whoever you want; boys, girls, both, it doesn’t matter, as long as your love is true.

This little lady who loves alliterations,

Nonna Giuseppina Antonelli, Europe, Italy, Naples

[sharksfood]

so this thought just came into my head and i want to explore it.

in my life i’ve only seen 3 films so far that i read as books before they became movies. im not counting comic books/graphic novels that became movies bcs thats a little different, books that became tv shows, or plays that became movies. but its interesting to think about that.

i didnt read harry potter until well after the films (all of them lmao) were released, i’ve never read how to train your dragon, i’ve never read the hobbit/lotr, the animated alice in wonderland came out in the 50s, i have only recently read the last unicorn, i read World War Z after the movie came out (and ive never seen all of the movie), and i read the neverending story when i was cast in the play.

the books that i read before they came out in film are; The Chronicles of Narnia: The Lion, The Witch, and The Wardrobe, Warm Bodies, and Goosebumps.

Goosebumps kind of fits but it was made into a tv series first, and im not sure if i read the books or saw the shows first. i did both, i know that much.

I read Warm Bodies only bcs I wanted to see the movie but thought the book would be cool to read (its amazing and has a completely different feel from the movie), and Lion Witch Wardrobe was bcs my dad read it to me when I was younger. That and The Magician’s Nephew are the only Narnia books ive ever read.

I was going to try and read Miss Peregrine’s Home for Peculiar Children before the movie came out, but that work out for me.

if you want to count comics and graphic novels, then the list gets bigger. but comics already have the characters drawn out, so unlike books, you dont have an idea in your head on what the character looks like. that is so often changed in film, plus you loose so much detail and nuance when you go book to screenplay to film (this is also true with comics, but its still different)

However, and the biggest reason as to why I’m thinking about this, two movies will be coming out in the next few years, and both of them are based on my favorite books of all time (aside from the alice books of course). 

The first is Captain Underpants! I know that this is a book series with words and pictures, so technically its a graphic novel series, but they’re kids books! and those tend to have an awful lot of pictures. This series was my FAVORITE (other than the alice books) as a kid!! they were fun, hilarious, relatable, and just all around super great. So when i saw the trailer for the animated film that’s coming out this year based on the series i was ECSTATIC!! Were it live-action i would be bummed out since kids picture books usually fair better when animated (im not a fan of the diary of a wimpy kid movies....) but this animation is handled a lot like The Peanuts movie. The animation look like a color and 3D version of the exact art style!! its wonderful and im SO EXCITED

The other one, and this i am VERY VERY nervous about, is Ready Player One. that is my favorite sci-fi novel ever. i often say its my favorite book ever bc it deserves more love! and i do so much love it. ive reread it i dont even know how many times. and what do you know, they’re making it into a movie!! when i heard about this i had so many mixed feelings, and most of it has to do with the style of the book and the characters.

-Ready Player One Spoilers-

In Ready Player One the protagonist starts out as a dirt poor, fat, unattractive teen boy, and later he gets more physically fit/healthy and rich. he claims to still be unattractive at this point (mostly bcs he jues doesnt like how he looks and he looses all his body hair). this is very important to the character! i’m afraid that in this movie hollywood will do as they always do and make him a skinny conventionally attractive teen from the get-go. people will probably pull the Holes excuse of “the filmmakers didnt want to make the actor gain a bunch of weight and then loose it all” BULLSHIT they can cast a fat actor! and through his training and as they film the movie he can loose some weight or they can use movie magic (like when they made chris evans a scrawny little thing). its not that hard, people.

Another character, and this was super important to me and was a big subplot, is that Wade best friend, Aech, whom he only knows through the game (OASIS) plays as a white, straight, guy avatar, but they’re actually a black lesbian named Helen. And she plays this avatar to protect herself and to get a job and be taken seriously within OASIS. is super sad she has to do this, but its a big part of her character. she’s also fat as well, and im REALLY worried that in the movie she’s going to be a skinny straight white girl.

Two other characters who have important characteristics are Art3mis (Samantha) and the creator of OASIS James Halliday. Art3mis is Wade later love interest and GF. She is notable bcs her avatar is just like her, a chubby girl with black hair, but sans her port-wine birthmark. I know they’ll keep her birthmark, since its an intimate reveal, but they’ll probably make her skinny and i hate it. Now it’s only half canon in the books, but i’ve chosen to go with it, but at one point Wade talks about James Halliday’s childhood and his personality and all that, and mentions that he might have been autistic. Now, since it’s only he “might have been” in the books, the filmmakers will probably not make him autistic. That’s fucking sad to me, I mean, it would be amazing!! This character is one of the smartest, most famous, most prolific video game programmers/designers in history!! And he’s autistic! That is some wonderful representation and the filmmakers should jump on that opportunity. It’ll inspire so many autistic people who have a passion for video games to pursue their dreams. But, i have a hunch they wont go with it.

Two other characters, Daito and Shoto, are Japanese young guys who claim to be brothers (and their characters are) but are just friends in the real world. My initial hunch was that the filmmakers would keep them Japanese, but given the recent whitewashing of important Japanese characters, I have my doubts.

My few other concerns are that this movie won’t have 80s pop culture as the main style and focus of the era they book is set in, not to mention OASIS and most of people’s interests. It’s incredibly important to the novel, but so many dystopian movies choose to go with gritty, futuristic, edgy stuff. The other concern is how they will handle the real life vs OASIS look, since over half of the book takes place inside a VR video game. I’ve seen news that they are utilizing VR technology, but i havent read too much. I’m wondering if they’ll animate all of OASIS and the avatars and action and anything in the video game! That would be awesome.

So these are all my thoughts. I havent looks at who they’ve cast yet, so I’m going to do that right now. I do know that Steven Spielberg is directing it, which could be fantastic or terrible. Okay, cast time.

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So the IMDB doesnt say who is cast as Daito and Shoto, but Wikipedia says that Win Morisaki of PrizmaX will play him, which is great! I hope that’s what happens.

Art3mis/Samantha will be played by Olivia Cooke, who in my opinion is way too old. She’s older than me! The character’s age (i think) isnt mentioned in the book, but she’s got to be 17-20, and Olivia Cooke looks older than that. She’s also not chubby, but hey, maybe they’ll fit that. She also doesnt have the birthmark, but that’s gonna be makeup. (wouldve been cool if they found an actress with a port-wine stain on her face...)

Parzival/Wade will be played by Ty Sheridan. He was Cyclops in X-Men Apocalypse. He’s the right age, but way too fit and attractive. DAMN IT Well, I guess there’s always makeup and special effects, but i’m 80% sure now they wont make Wade fat.....

Aech/Helen will be played by Lena Waithe who is almost PERFECT. She’s much older than Aech, who is around 18, but like Samantha i imagine they’ll have make up and acting to cover it. My biggest concern is that she’s not fat like Aech, which means they’ll use a body suit or effects or Lena will gain weight, or they wont do anything.....

T.J. Miller will be playing I-r0k, who is another OASIS player and a bigtime douchebag jerk. This is perfect. We don’t know his age, or really anything other than his personality and avatar, and T.J. Miller is hilarious so this/ll be great.

Mark Rylance will be playing James Halliday, witch is fine by me. He’s not quite what I imagined, but thats what makeup and wigs are for. He’s worked a lot with Steven Spielberg, so that makes sense as to why he’s cast here. I just hope he can portray an autistic character well and with respect.... (would be better if he IS autistic but ya know.....)

Simon Pegg will be playing Ogden Morrow, the co-creator of OASIS, and thats perfect. No complaints.

Nolan Sorrento (the antagonist of the book and head of operations at Innovative Online Industries) will be played by Ben Mendelsohn, who was Director Krennic in Rouge One. He is much older and not quite and slimy as I imagined him, but this can totally work. I pictured Nolan Sorrento as Andrew Scott in my head, since he seems like the perfect evil, charismatic, slimy, attractive but ugly inside business man.

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So, after looking at the current casting choices im a little let down, but still excited! I’ll have to wait patienly for the trailer, since this thing is coming out in 2018. Dang, this turned into a Ready Player One post, but its been on my mind recently.

If you read through all of this, good job! let me know what you think! i probably dont talk about Ready Player One very often but thats bcs i dont know anyone in real life (other than my dad) who has read this book, and the online fandom seems nonexistent. Who knows?

But yeah, I guess I made this post bcs I wasn’t able to share the collective nervousness, complaints, and excitement of Harry Potter or LotR or Percy Jackson fans when their fav books became movies.