#but even just the fun social commentary she could bring

[kanzakurawrites]

No because I was just thinking about this, and it's not only that it's the fact that she heard all the human's thoughts.

Each and every one.

And she went to a public high school.

You want me to believe that this "innocent" girl who doesn't even acknowledge some of the boys liking her, easily gets squeamish, seems horrified by some of the violence she's seen in the elven world, and is painfully oblivious at times was constantly bombarded by thoughts from all sorts of people for years?

From bad people, good people, people's memories (good and bad), tv shows, everyday tragedies, worldwide issues, teenagers, teenage boys, yeah, no something isn't adding up here.

Sophie’s personality it far too normal for a elf raised by humans she should be more unhinged

[lunar-years]

Peanut gallery social media commentary on Challengers is sooo funny to me.

“Art was the victim!” Did you miss the part where he started stirring shit up between his best friend and his best friend’s girlfriend in the hopes they’d break up and he could get with her instead? Or how he chose to cut off his best friend entirely to side with Tashi because Tashi blamed said best friend for her injury (literally he doesn’t even talk to Patrick about the argument? Ever? Just kicks him out of his life because Tashi wants them to LMAO)?

“Patrick was the victim!” Did you miss the part where Patrick spends like 13 years willfully reinserting himself back into a relationship he no longer gets to be a part of all because he’d rather ruin them and come between them and repeatedly hurt them if it means he knows they still think about him, rather than taking ownership of his actions and coming to terms with the fact that they no longer think about him at all? Did you miss the fact that he’s a giant flop on top of being a giant asshole?

“Tashi is an evil cold manipulative bitch who doesn’t care about anything but tennis and comes between them!” Okay what we’re not going to do is 1) act like those two losers weren’t active participants in the vast majority of what was happening to them so that we can blame everything on the woman 2) forget that Tashi spends the entire movie both being incredibly horny for yes tennis, but tennis very much including Art and Patrick specifically, as well as bringing a wrecking ball down on her own life repeatedly because she physically cannot go on without having all three of them in her life.

“The three of them are ALL terrible, bad people!” Are they or they neither good nor bad but a secret third thing (messed up, regular people)? Are they or they all three simultaneously the one’s holding the gun and falling into the graves they’ve dug for themselves?

“The movie promised me a throuple and then didn’t even deliver!/it was just a regular boring old love triangle” Did you miss the part where Patrick was the person who taught Art to jerk off? Did you miss the part where Tashi encourages them to neck her until they’re close enough for her to back away and leave them kissing each other as she watches with horny amusement? Did you miss the fact that they’re both playing for her number? Did you miss Art molding himself into the person who could obtain the glory that Tashi was denied? Or how he saw his fiance/wife kissing her ex boyfriend who also happens to be his ex best friend in Atlanta and then spends like 10 more years doing absolutely nothing about it? Did you miss “Don’t I matter?” “Not to the most obsessive tennis fan in the world” “I’m not talking about tennis” followed by an Art who has stopped caring whether he wins or loses caring, by the end of the match, more than he’s ever cared before, because Patrick DOES matter and because he’s STILL playing for Tashi’s number? Did you miss the part where for about 15 seconds there they were actually playing tennis and they understood each other completely and so did everyone watching and it was a bit like they were in love or like they didn’t exist and they went somewhere really beautiful together? HUH?

“They’re incredibly toxic!” Well, yes! but you see, that’s part of the fun!

[mikuni14]

There are three things I particularly like about Jake and Joker:

1) how obviously the actors and creators - but especially the actors and especially War - are having fun making this series. While skillfully avoiding the impression that it's just pretend, just 🤡fun, winking at the audience, haha. No. They're having fun AND they're fully invested. War is believable in every versionof Joke and Joker, in every persona: the real one and the fake one, and he puts the same amount of effort into each one. Each of these characters, whether playing a serious scene or a comedic one, is great.

2) the fact that Joke went to the police, confessed to save Jack, and served his sentence. And all he could think about was apologizing and making it up to Jack. (I know I'm boring bringing up DFF all the time 😉, but that's something none of those boys would do, even though they felt guilty, none of them caused themselves even the slightest inconvenience). And that he is again creating a board with evidence of his actions, like 4 years ago 🤔

3) the surprisingly serious social commentary - and they don't fuck around. How poverty and debt affect the lives of individuals and entire communities. That if it weren't for the lack of money, people would be happy to help each other, create art, do something good for others, develop. Joke is very intelligent and creative, he could literally be anyone, Jack is very strong mentally, he wants to help his family, the children, the local community, Tattoo has technical skills… These young people could do so much good for themselves and others, but poverty, cirmustances, situation at home forces them to break the law. And not only that - it also kills good instincts in them. As the mother from this poor family says in the movie Parasite: that if she were rich, she would be nice too (like the rich woman in this movie). Tattoo would probably never have left Joke in other circumstances, and you can see that he clearly feels bad about it. But these are such circumstances and he makes such a decision. You can also see how small, minor good deeds fade in the face of systemic evil. This is a really good question for Jack: isn't he tired? He's fighting it all by himself, and yet in this episode it all seems irrelevant, because the boss knows about it, one of the debtors is dying, the problems just pile up. That's why Jack and Joke make such a great impression - both supposedly criminals, but STILL dreamers and idealists, they keep fighting.. They still don't give up and they keep trying to "keep their souls pure". 🥺 And that's beautiful. They're beautiful. And I really like them 😊

This moment righ here 💘

[rayslittlekitten]

Days of Fine Wine and Roses

Main Masterlist “Dad Will” Masterlist

A/N: Feels like it's been ten thousand years since I started this (probably some time last year, or even the year before), but it's finally done! 😭 It all started because I wanted a dance with Will. I'll spare the excess commentary. Thank you so much to @carni-val and @lovebarefootblonde for beta reading! Banners by @spaghettificationandpretzels. Hope you enjoy and thank you all for being so patient! 🙏 😘

Rating: E (18+ ONLY PLEASE)

Word Count: 5,150

Pairings: Dad!Will "Ironhead" Miller x Wife F!Reader

Summary: With Lucy going off to college soon, a spontaneous date night gives you a snapshot of what yours and Will's life could look like with having more time for each other.

Contains: sex (PiV), oral sex (M receiving), flirting/bantering, aging, sugary sweet fluff, Will finding reader irresistible, Will still being self-conscious about getting older (I think that's it?)

When Will and Lucy made up after DisneyGate, he lessened her punishment so this weekend she's away with her friends to enjoy their time together before they go off to college, which leaves the house to just the two of you.

"Hey, you know what we haven't done in a while?" you ask Will after plopping down next to him on the couch where he's on his laptop with his reading glasses perched adoringly on his slim nose.

"Make brownies," he quickly answers without looking away from his screen.

"Yes, but no," you giggle. 

“Stop by Astrid’s,” he quickly guesses again, still focused on his laptop, clicking and typing away.

“Oh my God, you and your sweets!” You nudge your shoulder against his, your reaction pulling a small smug smirk from Will.

“We haven't gone on a date in a while.” You loop an arm through his and snuggle against him.

"You want to be wined and dined?" He asks, bringing his arm up and behind you while pushing his glasses up on top of his head with his other hand to look over at you.

“I want us to have a nice night to ourselves.” 

"You don't have a nice night with me every night?" he teases. 

"You know what I mean!" you nudge him again. His smirk widens into a smile.

"How about we try that uh… oh! I've got an idea!" A light bulb goes off in his head. "There's like, this social media trend of couples making plans by blindly making choices," Will starts to explain as he closes his laptop. "For example, I'll write on two separate pieces of paper, say two different restaurants and you pick one without knowing what I have written on either, and we go to the one you picked."

"Okay, that sounds fun, but since when have you kept up with trends on social media? You don't even have social media," you say with a raised brow.

"Lucy showed a bunch to me the other day, but the cutest one was with a puppy choosing which outfit it was going to wear."

"Hm, I think it would be fun to pick out each other's outfits," you tell him, suddenly intrigued by this idea.

"Alright, how about this? We throw a couple of restaurants in a hat and we randomly pick one. Leave that to probability," he suggests. "But we each get to personally pick out what the other person wears. How does that sound?"

"Hmm..." you pretend to ponder. "Okay!"

***

After the luck of the draw of picking a bistro you haven't been to in a while, the next step is to figure out what to wear. The two of you take a peek at each other's wardrobe options after a long, refreshing shower where Will decided to join you.

“The navy blue suit? Really?”

“You look handsome in any color but this one really brings out your eyes,” you tell him. “But most of all, I love how your butt looks in it.” You smirk and give his behind a squeeze.

"Do I have to wear a tie?" he whines.

You nod.

“Fine," he submits. "Well, I haven’t seen you in this sexy number in a while.”

Will pulls out a dress from the back of your closet and presents it to you.

“Because I never have a reason to wear it.” You look at the bold red slinky dress with an open back as you walk towards It. “I can’t even remember the last time I wore this. Might’ve been Fish’s wedding. Don’t you think this is a little over the top for where we're going?”

"I'm wearing a suit and tie. I don't think you'll be the only one overdressed."

"Okay, that's fair."

As the two of you start getting dressed in front of each other, you notice Will watching you. You slip into your dress, hoping you still fit into it. The fabric snugs over your curves and contours in all the right places. The zipper in the back is low enough for you to pull on your own but Will helps you with it anyways. When he comes up behind you, you feel the heat of his body radiating against your bare back. He gently puts his palm on your lower back for a moment before sliding it down to the bottom of the zipper, holding it down while pulling the zipper up.

You expect him to walk away to finish getting dressed but instead, you feel him pressing his lips against your shoulder and neck as his hands knead your waist.

“Babe,” you giggle. “This is why I never wear this dress. Because we’ll never leave the house.”

“If my shirt wasn’t already tucked in, I’d take you right now, just like this.” He continues kissing and nipping at your skin as his hands continue to explore your body, drawing a moan out of you.

"Now I remember why I don't like you wearing this out. I wanna show you off, but at the same time I don't want anyone looking at you the way I'm looking at you now."

His eyes rake over your body in the mirror.

“You’re like this gorgeous rose I just wanna ruin,” he growls.

"Well, know that you're the only one I'm going home with."

Turning around, you and Will steal glances at each other as you help him finish buttoning up his shirt for him and adjust his collar.

"I think that gray tie you have with the stripes will go well with the suit. It'll also compliment my dress."

"You don't think it'll also bring out my grays?" He asks, pointing to his head.

"Maybe, but trust me, it's a good thing. I've never wanted you more than I do now," you reach up and affectionately finger his graying sideburns. "And you’re probably gonna have other women wanting you to take them home with you as well," you chuckle.

"Even if I wanted to do that, I can barely handle you in bed. I don't need to add another woman in the mix," he replies.

"Uh huh," you smirk. “Sure.”

"Besides, she's just gonna be watching because all my attention would be on you," he says as he pulls you in against his body.

"Or you would be watching. How about that?" you tease.

"Nah ah. I'm too greedy.” He shakes his head. “I don't want anyone pleasuring you but me."

"Most guys would jump on that opportunity," you say, taken aback by his response.

"Well, I'm not most guys," he points out before leaning in to kiss you, but you pull back.

"We should get out of here or we'll never make it to dinner."

"Why don't we just skip to dessert first?" His nose nudges against yours as his hands slide down to your ass.

"You mean the chocolate lava cake with a scoop of vanilla ice cream that I know you're gonna get?" you tease.

"You know what I mean."

"Already? Was shower sex not enough to hold you through until after dinner?"

"Seeing you in this dress got me all excited again." He tries to kiss you again but you dodge him.

"Nah ah," you shake your head.

"Not even a kiss?" His eyebrows shoot up to his graying hairline.

You stare at him for a few moments with your bottom lip tucked between your teeth until you finally press your lips against his. He wraps his arms around your waist and presses your body against his as he deepens the kiss. You can feel a bulge poking you, making you giggle. You pull back, breaking the kiss and leaving you both breathless.

"Now go put on a tie while I throw on some make up and fix my hair," you tell him.

"Yes, ma'am!"

***

You weren't expecting live music, as the many times you've dined there, there never was. It's been a while and they've updated the place, adding a dedicated space for live entertainment for evening service and a Frank Sinatra cover band is setting the mood of the room. During dinner, you find yourselves being very touchy with each other. You toe at his ankle underneath his slacks and his hand caresses yours. Flirty eyes dart back and forth as you banter in innuendos. It's like when you first started dating over two decades ago. You're both falling in love with each other all over again, except with someone different. He's no longer a potential partner; he's your husband, father of your daughter and your best friend. At the core, he's still who you first fell in love with, but he's so much more now. He’s the man you've built a life with, who has walked beside you for the last twenty years of marriage. With Lucy going away for college, this feels like a preview of what your marriage could be like having all this sudden free time, getting to re-discover each other together.

“Mm, that is good, but not as good as mine,” Will reacts after you feed him a spoonful of your tiramisu.

"What is it?" he asks after catching you glancing at him.

"Hm?" you hum.

"Why are you looking at me like that?"

"I can't look at my handsome husband?" you ask with a mischievous smirk.

"You mean your old and graying husband?" he jokes.

"You're still handsome," you tell him. "Maybe even more so now than when we first met."

"Oh yeah? How so?" he questions, indulging you.

"You're like fine wine. As you age, the tastier you get." You bite into your lower lip.

"Is that so?" He leans in with his elbows on the table, intrigued by your analysis.

“You’re in your prime. You’re older, but wiser. You see graying hair and wrinkles, but I see experience and maturity. I mean, your charm and personality also adds to it," you reply. "Fatherhood probably has something to do with it too, but in a way that gets me all hot and bothered.”

"Your opinion is biased because you're married to me and I'm your child's father," he points out.

"Why don't we go ask the young hostess? She was totally giving you googly eyes when we walked in," you challenge.

"What? No, she wasn't! She was just being friendly and courteous. It's her job."

"Babe, you're so adorably oblivious sometimes. She totally was! She never once made eye contact with me, only addressed you the whole time with a goofy smile - the same one you gave me when we first met."

"Hi! How were your desserts?" Your waiter comes over to check on you.

"They were delicious!" Will pulls back from the table as the waiter takes the empty plates.

"Yes, they were," you agree.

"Anything else I can get for you?" the waiter asks.

“No, we are good. I think we're just going to finish our coffee. Thank you!"

"Sure, here is the check whenever you're ready. Take your time, enjoy the music!”

"Your handsome husband also can't read small letters," Will adds as he pulls out his reading glasses and then perches them on his face for a second to look at the bill.

As quickly as he had put them on, he pulls them off and places his credit card with the bill. The cover band starts playing "Fly Me To The Moon". Will suddenly stands up and offers his hand.

"Care to dance with this tall bottle of fine wine?"

"Where are we going to dance?" you ask, glancing around at the other tables surrounding you.

"We can do it right here. We're not gonna bother anyone. There's enough space for us."

You finally take his hand and he leads you to the space beside the table. With one hand on your waist and the other holding your hand up, he starts slowly swaying. Your other hand rests on his broad shoulder.

"I wined and dined you and wanna give you a dance too," he tells you, pulling you in closer to him.

"Yeah, we haven't danced in a while," you realize.

He senses your hesitance as you're dancing a bit stiff and still glancing around.

"Don't worry about those other people. Let them watch,” he whispers. “I want everyone in this restaurant to know how much I love and adore my wife.”

He leans in and rests his forehead against yours. You let out a chuckle. Feeling a bit more relaxed, you're finally enjoying this intimate moment.

"In other words...I love you," Will sings along.

When the song ends, there's a round of applause. Will nudges the tip of his nose at yours before giving you a small peck on your lips.

"Give it up for this beautiful couple!" the singer announces and the applause gets louder.

After settling the bill, as the two of you make your way to the front door, Will notices you lingering behind.

"Are you okay? Are your heels bothering you?" he asks, pausing to wait for you to catch up.

"No. I just like watching you walk away." You flash him a wide smile and a corner of his lips turn up as well.

He offers you his elbow when you finally reach him, which you take, but not before quickly grabbing a handful of his butt. When you finally reach the entrance, the hostess thanks you for coming and hopes you had a great experience.

"We sure did. My beautiful wife here thought the tiramisu was to die for, wasn't it, sweetheart?" He turns to you, giving you that goofy grin you had mentioned to him earlier.

"Yes, it was amazing," you confirm. "We will definitely come back again."

"Anything you want," he adds.

"Are you okay to drive?" you whisper, looking at him suspiciously. "You only had one drink."

"I'm drunk on you," he replies, his eyes never leaving you.

You roll your eyes at his silly antics and turn to the hostess to wish her a good night, which Will also does before you whisk him out to the restaurant.

***

When you finally arrive home, you kick off your heels and groan, feeling the relief. As you bend down to pick them up, Will stops you.

"I got them, babe," he says as he loosens his tie and finally releases himself from the constriction.

“Why, thank you!"

He bends down to grab them for you as you start walking up the stairs. His eyes follow you before his body does, enjoying the view as you ascend. Before both of your feet can touch down inside the bedroom, your husband is already all over you.

"Babe!"

You squeal as he snakes an arm around your waist and pulls your back against the front of his body, groaning while he presses his crotch against your ass. He tosses your shoes into a corner while latching his mouth onto your neck.

"Mm," you purr. "You complain about getting old and gray, but your sex drive is still that of a teenager," you giggle.

"We've talked about this. You're my Viagra," he replies and gently bites your neck.

You reach back between the two of you and palm his crotch, feeling him starting to engorge. He moans into your neck, sucking harder, in turn making you slip out a moan as well. Your other hand creeps up to the back of his neck, fingering his blondes and grays at the nape. His palm glides up from your waist to one of your breasts, giving it a healthy squeeze. Sighing, your back arches and you cup his bulge, giving it a gentle tug. He moans against your skin and sinks his teeth into you. Your bottom lip finds its way between your own teeth while also eliciting a pleasurable sound.

Wanting to take control, you find the willpower to pull away from his touch. Whipping around to face him, you grab the edges of his shirt collar and pull him closer to you, smashing your painted lips against his. His hands snake from your waist to your lower back, pressing your body against his as he deepens the kiss, almost continuing where you left off earlier. You gently guide him to the bed until the edge hits the back of his knees, causing him to fall back.

You hike your dress up so you can climb over him and straddle him. Starting on his neck, you suck and kiss on his delicate flesh, leaving light pink marks. You then start unbuttoning his shirt, taking your time with it. As each button gets undone and his chest gets revealed, you place a soft kiss on his smooth skin. You give some extra attention to his scars as you come across each of them. He's always been self conscious of them, but you always tell him you like how it reminds you how rugged he can be. There have been times you've imagined what it could have been like to have met Will while he was still in the military, thinking about your man in uniform.

The scars are also reminders of how far he's come, his life experiences marked on his body. He's told you how he earned each and every one of them. Some are from protecting the country, some are a result of being careless as both a man and boy, and then there's the most recent one still so prominent on his lower abs. It's been so long, but he's got a constant reminder of one of the things that haunt him the most. You give it a tender kiss before continuing down his body.

When you reach his belt, you tug on his shirt until it gets untucked. Will looks down at you as you continue making your way down to undress him. He takes in an audible sharp breath and his abs tighten when you brush your lips on it. You look up at him and keep eye contact as you lower yourself, following his faint blonde trail until your knees touch the floor.

"Babe, wait."

Will quickly grabs a pillow and places it on the floor in front of you.

"I don't want you to hurt your knees," he tells you.

"Always so considerate, even when it comes to getting a blowjob," you chuckle.

"I always want you to be comfortable, especially when you're giving me a blowjob."

The pad of his thumb brushes against your cheek.

You reach for his belt and slide the leather out of the buckle. You can feel his erection growing as it brushes up against your palms. Once you have his fly undone, you grab the top of his pants and boxer briefs, gently but firmly pulling them down. He tilts his hips up and his thick cock springs out. Will groans when you give attention to the creases where his leg and crotch meets, kissing and licking the delicate spots, causing his cock to twitch. When you wrap your fingers around the base of his cock, you run the tip of your tongue from the bottom to the top of his shaft. His blue eyes twinkle as he watches you kiss and lick him up and down.

"God, you're so fucking sexy," he growls. “How did I get so lucky?”

He cups your cheek as you take him into your mouth, making him hiss. Satisfied with his reaction, you're encouraged to go deeper. You relax your throat and push down further until you feel your gag reflex a hair trigger away from bringing your dinner back up.

"You don't have to do that, babe," he says, sensing your hesitance. "I appreciate you trying though."

You keep eye contact as you continue to suck on him, hollowing out your cheeks when you pull back. Will takes in a sharp breath watching himself disappear deep into your warm and wet mouth again until he taps the back of your throat. He fists your hair and grunts.

“Fuck,” he whispers. "Baby, you keep this up, I'm going to cum in your mouth.”

Taking that as a sign of encouragement, you move up and down on him, sliding him in and out between your lips.

"You want that, don't you?" he teases.

You pull his cock out of your mouth with a pop and slurp up the drool that dribbles down your bottom lip and corners of your mouth.

"It has been a while, huh?” you ask while licking him like a lollipop.

“You really want me to cum in your mouth?” He asks genuinely after studying your face for a moment, thumbing the apple of your cheek.

“Hm…” You take a moment to consider it. “Nah ah, I’m not done with you yet.”

You start to pull the rest of his bottoms down until they’re down to his ankles.

“Scoot back,” you command as you slip his trousers and boxers off his feet, leaving him in his dress shirt and crew socks.

As he follows your instructions, you stand up from between his legs and hike up your dress. You then crawl over him, straddling him again along the way, and lean down to kiss him. He eagerly kisses back as his hands grip your hips and then slide back to your ass.

As you continue to make out, Will’s hands move further down, teasing the hem of your dress until he slips his hands up under. He pushes the dress up as his palms press into your skin until he finds your ass again, this time bare and giving it a big squeeze. You grind down on him as his hips thrusts up, rubbing your covered slit against his hard cock.

Will’s fingers find their way between your legs, making you twitch when he lands on your wet opening beneath the thin fabric. He teases you, rubbing slow small circles, coaxing out your arousal. You moan into his mouth when you feel his fingers putting gentle pressure, threatening to penetrate you. Your hips start rolling, wanting more, but he just proceeds to tease you.

You continue to rock against him, but break the kiss. With noses touching, you gaze into his eyes, intentionally dragging your damp panties up and down his length. A sudden gasp escapes you when Will plunges his middle finger inside you. You bite your lower lip and push back as he pumps into you.

Taking back control, you reach down and lightly run your fingernails along his hard cock.

“You’re driving me crazy, baby,” he pants. His lust-filled eyes turn darker as you wrap your fingers around him and stroke.

Will dips another finger in as he thrusts into your hand. You stifle a moan and after a few moments, finally end the torture. Hopping off of him once more, you do a quick strip tease, unzipping your dress first and then pulling down the straps off your shoulders before shimmying out of it, letting it pool at your feet. The whole time you are amused by your husband who is watching while jerking himself. Tonight you wanted to make it all about him and to boost his ego, but somehow he always manages to boost yours even in the smallest ways.

Since he’s enjoying the show, you take your time stripping off your lingerie set. You turn around to show your backside and then unhook your bra. Coyly looking over your shoulder, you pull your bra off and toss it aside. With your arms crossed over your breasts, you turn to face him again. You release your arms, letting your breasts hang freely, to finally slide your thong off your hips and letting them fall to the floor.

Returning to the position you were before, you straddle him and grab his rock hard erection, guiding it to your aching pussy. You rub the tip against your dripping opening, coating it with your lubrication.

“Babe…” Will croaks.

When you’re ready, you finally sink down onto him and he lets out a guttural moan, your own voice joining his as he fills you up. With your palms on his chest, you start moving up and down, riding him slowly at first to get adjusted. You then bear down, sitting as deep as you can. You stay still to really soak in the fullness as he stretches you out, the tip of his cock kissing your cervix, drawing another guttural noise from the back of Will’s throat.

“I can stay like this forever,” you groan.

After getting accustomed to his size, you start moving up and down again, but only giving him short strokes, teasing just the tip. Will’s shaky breath hitches. You watch him as you continue the torture, seeing how he reacts to every move. Feeling yourself clench from all that teasing, you sink down further again, deep down, letting him stretch you out in all directions. Will reaches for your breasts and massages them while teasing your nipples, making your hips twitch.

“Mm, you feel so good,” you tell him.

You then start rocking back and forth, feeling it out and finding the perfect position and rhythm. It doesn’t take long for you to do as you’ve done this probably literally hundreds of times. Your hips move a little quicker, but not quite enough. Drawing out the tease, you move up and down on him, only letting the head penetrate you before sinking down all the way again, repeating the movements.

Getting impatient, Will grips your hips and keeps you still after you envelope him again, and thrusts up to push himself even deeper. Bracing yourself on his chest feeling his muscles flex under your palms, you let him take over for a bit. He pounds into you from beneath, with so much force you’re practically bouncing on his lap. You help him out by rocking against him. His hands glide behind you and he squeezes your ass, pumping up inside of you.

When he bottoms out, you take the reins again, repositioning yourself so you’re squatting over him. It’s one of his favorite views, watching you spread open for him as he disappears inside you. You slip him back inside and place your hands on his chest for support. Slowly at first, you start bouncing on him. As you pick up speed, you’re quickly reminded your knees aren’t what they used to be.

“Okay, this might’ve been a bad idea,” you laugh as you shift your weight behind you to ease the pressure on your knees and balance yourself.

“I got you, baby.”

Will grips the bottom of your thighs to assist you in dismounting him, but finding yourself in this new sexy position, you start carefully bouncing on him again with your weight mostly on your hips and arms, and with Will’s help, it’s effortless. From the twinkles in his eyes, you can see how mesmerized he is by what’s in front of him.

His hand wanders between your legs and his thumb brushes over your clit, spreading your arousal all around and making your elevated hips stutter. You are getting slicker as your orgasm starts quickly building.

“Mm, look at you, my sexy little mama.”

There he goes again with the ego stroking. You start moving a little faster and Will matches your rhythm, getting his second wind and thrusting up again. In the midst of the excitement, he slips out of you and you nearly crush his cock and balls.

“Whoopsie!”

“Are you okay?” he chuckles.

You nod and attempt to reposition yourself.

“Come here.”

He offers you his hands and you take them. He pulls you up towards him so you’re properly straddling him again with your knees planted on each side of his torso as your body prefers. After pulling you against his chest and stealing a kiss from you, he flips you onto your back and then practically tears his shirt off, tossing it on the floor. He props himself with his tattooed forearms, each of them on either side of your head. His head dips down to latch onto the side of your neck, nipping at the sensitive skin. He then makes his way down and pulls one of your nipples between his teeth, gently tugging on it and swirling his tongue around it.

You sigh as you gyrate against him. His attention turns to the other one, but only briefly. His knees spread your legs wider as he settles in the space, reaching down to align his cock with your opening. He shoves himself deep into you and you grab onto his broad shoulders as he drives into you over and over again. Your gut gets tighter with each stroke so you wrap your legs around his waist and start moving with him.

"You know, you keep complaining you’re getting older, but you sure don't fuck like you are,” you compliment.

Feeling encouraged, he hooks his elbows behind your knees and nearly folds you in half. The new position forces you to release his shoulders and allows him to penetrate you even deeper. Your eyes roll back when he hits your g-spot.

"I still can't believe you're my wife sometimes, even after all these years,” Will tells you, then leans down to capture your lips, slowing his hips for a moment to really savor the kiss.

He picks up the pace and slams into you with purpose. You clench up and instinctively find his hands which are planted beside your head. A few of your fingers hook onto his and you hold on as you chase your release.

“Come on, baby. I know you’re getting close.”

You start to unravel as he continues to pound into you. A cry shoots out of you and one leaves Will shortly after as you both come together. He doesn’t stop moving against you until your orgasms subside, slowing down to a halt.

He collapses on top of you to catch his breath. After a minute or so, he leaves a tender kiss on your forehead before rolling off of you. You turn to him to lay on his chest and he wraps an arm around you. The two of you remain silent as you let your hearts come back down to resting rate.

“You know, there is one thing I do enjoy about growing older,” he starts as his fingers caress your spine.

“Oh yeah? What?” You ask, cuddling against his chest.

“That I’m doing it with you.”

He looks down at you to meet your rolling eyes, but your already glowing face brightens up even more.

“We should implement a date night every Friday. How does that sound?” He asks.

“That sounds wonderful,” you answer with a wide lazy grin.

“I love you so much.”

Before you can respond, Will cranes his neck and lays a passionate kiss on you while pulling you in closer to his body where you remain to have a lazy post-bliss make out session.

[bookaddict24-7]

REVIEWS OF THE WEEK!

Every week I will post various reviews I've written so far in 2024. You can check out my Goodreads for more up-to-date reviews HERE. You can friend me on Goodreads here.

Have you read any of these? What were your thoughts?

___

329. Straight by Chuck Tingle--⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

This was SUCH a fun read!

STRAIGHT is my favourite Tingle book so far. I loved the characters, the horror, the wit, and the unique take on the zombie genre.

STRAIGHT had some great commentary on topics like allyship and how the LGBTQ+ community can come together when there is danger. But I also appreciated the exploration of the anger aimed at the community and felt IN the community. One of the things I love about horror sometimes is how certain situations are used as allegories for certain issues in our contemporary society and Tingle's book doesn't shy away from that. I loved how straight-forward the conversation was.

Overall, I laughed sometimes, cringed from the gore, and loved that I read this in October. I think that if you love horror and zombies and queer stories that are just pure fun with some great social commentary, then you might want to add this one to your TBR!

___

330. 'Salem's Lot by Stephen King--⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

I am slowly making my way through King's work and while some are...something else, others like SALEM'S LOT are truly a great example of why he's been writing for so long.

SALEM'S LOT does one of the things I love so much about King's writing: it creates that eerie atmosphere full of trepidation. It felt like I was reading IT if it had been slightly faster paced. The way the story is full of foreshadowing, almost immediately uncomfortably creepy scenes, and a heavy note of wrongness, made this incredibly compelling. I wanted to keep reading and find out what would happen next and who would fall next to the pandemic plaguing the small town of Jerusalem's Lot.

I listened to the audiobook for this and I enjoyed hearing King's introductory chapter, mainly because he acknowledged how dated the story would be in parts, which it was. King's writing is full of problematic words and statements because of the time and what would make the reader uncomfortable. I am familiar with his writing so it doesn't put me off his writing anymore, even if it is still jarring as all hell to read.

That being said, SALEM'S LOT was 100% a classic horror story with that King flourish. It's obvious in how he knows how to bring characters to life with the smallest of details, or how he can demonize a whole town by blanketing it with the perfect word choices and masterful atmospheric writing. It was surprisingly to the point and really well-paced.

The characters were intriguing and kept the story moving relatively well. There were some disturbing moments and characters, and some really sad ones. But their actions and/or ends made this story all the more captivating and haunting.

I'd recommend this one if you like vampires and want a story about a town that is completely helpless against its inevitable demise.

___

331. King of Pride by Ana Huang--⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

While I enjoyed the first book in this series more, KING OF PRIDE was a surprise. I was a big fan of the slow burn and the bursts of spice that freckled the story here and there (since I think that sometimes too much spice can be a bit overwhelming).

I loved the differences between the MCs and how they brought them together. I think one of the reasons why I'm such a fan of romances where the two MCs have a big wage difference between them is because they both help each other grow in ways they otherwise would not have experienced. One teaches the other to be more confident and the other teaches them to be more humble. I like the dynamic too because I love a MMC that treats the FMC like the queen that she is.

These two specific MCs had such a sweet love full of some spicy moments that jumped off the page. I could feel the attraction they felt because Huang let the relationship grow organically, rather than let it be one of those insta-romance novels. I loved how they teased each other and how she helped him get out of his shell more.

I also liked how much integrity the MMC had when it came to business, but also that he took action when he really needed to. I felt for the FMC and her fight against writer's block (because truly, same, bestie), mainly because it was a big part of her storyline and one of the things that kept her confidence low.

The climax pissed me off. Not because of the main couple, but the family meddling. I wanted to slap a few of the characters for their callousness and bullying.

But other than that frustrating moment in the book, I really enjoyed this one. It was sexy, romantic, and full of tension. Plus, that dedication was killer and so was the dirty talk. Phew.

___

332. Want by Gillian Anderson--⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

WANT was definitely something a bit outside of the norm for me. Mainly because I don't tend to read a lot of Well-being titles (which I'm classifying this as because it's a sexuality book). But I'm glad I gave it a shot because I found it very enjoyable and eye-opening.

Told through stories sent in anonymously, WANT was the kind of collection that a lot of people will benefit from reading because of how solitary sex and any sexual-related thoughts can be. I know there are places in the world where sex is still seen as something taboo and not meant to be discussed freely. I liked that this book gave women a chance to voice their sexual thoughts--even if some fell into the odd category.

I know I connected to some of the stories and they left me wide-eyed and seen. Other stories I didn't connect to, but it was still fascinating to see how other peoples' minds worked. To be honest, some stories were so over the top that I couldn't help but laugh a few times. Not to yuck anyone's yum, but some of these essays were...a choice.

That being said, I did appreciate how diverse the essays were and how they were categorized. I was a little wary at first that I would grow tired of the essay after essay approach, but the occasional re-introduction of Anderson in between chapters helped break up the monotony.

I'd recommend this to anyone looking for essay collections of the sexual variety with some great diversity. There were many queer women and it was great getting to hear their voices!

___

333. The Second Chance of Darius Logan by David F. Walker--⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

If there is one thing I will say before I write the review--do yourself a favour and don't listen to the audiobook LOL.

^^I stick by this because the voice actor was a man and he sounded absolutely hilarious when he was voicing the female characters. To the point where it sometimes took me completely out of the story.

Anyway, I loved the concept of THE SECOND CHANCE OF DARIUS LOGAN. It was fun and the writing reminded me a lot of the MICHAEL VEY series, which I loved. I love origin stories set in a world completely new to me. I also just liked seeing the MC (who was usually a good teen) get what he had earned during the story.

Walker's social justice commentary was also eye-opening because when we usually read superhero stories, the worlds are completely fictional and often lack the very real issues plaguing our too-real world. Seeing these police officers treating the Black MC in such a racist way made me so angry, both because of the injustice of it all and because not even in fiction do Black teen boys get a break from the racism they face daily. In this way, this aspect of Walker's book made this book all the more powerful--especially because it bursts that idealistic bubble of "it doesn't happen here" when it comes to superheroes in fiction.

Another great part about this book was the exploration of grief and its effect on younger teens who grow without much support after their losses. That simmering anger CAN be a coping mechanism, even if it gets to the point where it can be detrimental. But I liked how he processed his loss and emotions in his own way as the book progressed, especially when he was given a second chance at life.

I'm excited for the sequel because of that somewhat cliffhanger-ish ending. While I wasn't a super huge fan of the narrative style of including too many moments of foreshadowing (I prefer this in horror), I still thought the story had some great pacing going for it and it was highly addictive because I wanted to know what would come next!

I'd recommend this to those who love superhero stories that have a bit more nuance to them than just stereotypical crime fighting.

___

334. Our Favorite Songs by Anita Kelly--⭐️⭐️⭐️

One of the best things about these books is that they're bite-sized. Some would definitely benefit from being longer, but I'm glad this one was the length that it was.

I liked the idea that this novella was about two characters who come together after so many years, and have that history of one of the characters hating the other. One of the tropes I actually love is the "I hated you as a teen because I had a big crush on you that felt pointless," and this book had that and it was glorious. I DO think that the one character was a bit over-the-top with his meanness, especially with his biphobic comments.

The spice was good, if a little on the quick side (which I'm not surprised because this is a novella). But it was still some fun sprinkling of spice in a story that had started with such animosity between these two guys.

Overall, OUR FAVORITE SONGS was fun, but it followed a similar pattern as the first novella in the series (with problematic moments that took away from the overall cuteness of the story). It's definitely a good holiday read to enjoy with some tea, while sitting by a window when it's snowing. But keep in mind that there will be some moments in this book that will make you want to side-eye the characters.

___

335. The Great Cookie War by Caroline Stellings---⭐️

I received a copy from the publisher a LONG time ago.

First of all, I know this book wasn't for me. This is 100% a middle grade novel that isn't exactly accessible to adults (in my opinion) because of how much I had to suspend my disbelief with certain situations.

That being said, this story was a bit choppy. I admit that I went into this without having read the synopsis, but I typically do this with all of the books I read. But I expected...something else? What I got was a preachy book full of choppy writing and questionable characters--like that grandmother. God, she was awful. There's a scene where she is incredibly horrible to the MC and the "apology" is brushed over by telling us it happened rather than showing us. Which honestly sat wrong with me. We get the entire "I'm disappointed, you're horrible" speech, but not the apology that would make the grandmother take ownership of her abuse on the page for a young reader to see (and acknowledge that adults also need to apologize when they're wrong).

The story just didn't feel like something I wanted to invest my time with and to be honest, I don't know if I'd recommend it to the younger readers who come into the store. Simply because of how the MC is treated, or how choppy that writing was.

I can appreciate what this book is supposed to do and represent, but it was truly not something I enjoyed. I've read various MGLit titles before and this is one of the first times where I finished a middle grade book and felt so much ick.

I'm sure this will be great and relatable for a reader out there--definitely younger readers, and I hope they're able to appreciate it in a much better way than me!

___

336. Weird Rules to Follow by Kim Spencer--⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

I wasn't sure what to expect from this one, but I was pleasantly surprised to see that it followed the MC over the span of a few years as her life changed and revealed some of the cruel truths of her life in a society that looks down on and excludes Indigenous people. It was an incredibly powerful portrayal of a young girl that was paralleled by the experiences of her non-Indigenous friend(s).

I will say, before I continue, that it was jarring to hear an older woman narrating the audiobook for this one--especially when a child gives the description of the cover of the book. I get that this is probably to emphasize that some of these experiences mirror that of the author, but it took me out of the book a few times.

WEIRD RULES TO FOLLOW was definitely a difficult read, especially as an adult seeing a child being excluded and discriminated against, but also seeing the home life she has and how it was affecting her during some of the more important development years of her life. I am not Indigenous, so I don't have any right to say whether this was done correctly or not, but I do want to say that I appreciated this story and the voice that the author gave to this young character.

I think young readers should read books like this one because even though it is set in the 80s, I'm sure there are still things they can relate to--especially in how their own families or friends or people around them interact with/talk about the Indigenous community. And there is, of course, mention of "those schools" (as said in the book), which shows the dark and complicated relationship there with residential schools and the trauma and hell they brought with them.

I highly recommend this book. It's short and powerful and poignant. And even though it's technically historical fiction, it is incredibly timely.

___

Happy reading!

[susandsnell]

The Batman/Reevesverse Scarecrow Speculation Post

So, with the hope that the Reevesverse Scarecrow spinoff still goes through (what with WB's currently tenuous position under Zaslav), here are some speculation points I've had for a while with regards to how dear Dr. Crane could fit into the Gotham universe of 2022's The Batman --

The Drops Trade: Probably the most obvious thread wherein to integrate him. As some rumours about the Penguin spinoff TV series have hinted that they'll pick up on this subplot (since we do see Oz is involved in it in the movie), and there is apparently already an epidemic in this universe's Gotham City, lacing a new strain with fear toxin would be an easy way to spread it massively through the city. This could easily tie him in with the mob characters (Oz et al), and would work well with the Se7en-esque mystery/detective story approach they're taking to Batman's character, with the inexplicable terrifying effects of this new strain of Drops leading Bats down a trail that ends with a disgraced former professor of psychology. What works against this is that it's argably too similar to the very rapidly abandoned drug dealer Scarecrow plot in The Dark Knight. But given that as with every Nolanverse Scarecrow plot point, that kind of just happened and went nowhere until Crane Barbied his way into a new job, and the fact that the series hasn't shied away from similarities/nods to TDK trilogy, there's still a solid chance for there to be a unique spin on it here.

Riddler leaks: Since this universe's Edward Nashton is big on exposing corruption and has a strong online presence, maybe he - or one of his following, acting in his name - will kickstart the start-of-darkness plot by prompting his firing from Arkham or Gotham University (if he works at either in this continuity) by leaking Dr. Crane's more unsavoury dealings and/or unethical practices and experimentation. Perhaps the Renewal Fund flowed through Gotham University and Crane siphoned from it to finance his fear toxin research? While I love the "this man fired a gun in his classroom to illustrate a point and got extremely mad that there were consequences" origin to death, I can admit this origin might be either considered either too silly or in poor taste for a grounded universe like the Reevesverse that does have at least some social commentary. Points against this route, however, are whether they intend to do much more with Edward Nashton; Paul Dano is reportedly signed on for more entries to the series, but given he had a whole movie to himself, and a prequel comic run, they might not want to saturate us on him. On the other hand, Matt Reeves has expressed an interest in building a full and robust Rogues Gallery, and the most successful visual adaptations that have done this have understood the value of the Rogues' relationships amongst themselves.

Arkham Doctor: A usual starting point for Crane, but nonetheless, we've established Arkham already in this universe, and with named and known characters staying there. There's also rumours of an Arkham Series that could bridge with the Scarecrow spinoff proper, and while Crane experimenting on the patients is rather typical, we do have some interesting opportunities -- a chance he interacts with Riddler and Joker, who are set up to be there, again laying the groundwork for a new Rogues Gallery (Poison Ivy is also confirmed to have a spinoff in the works, so she might be involved also), but moreover, an access to the records on Martha Wayne, nee Arkham, could bring him into the leverage/Wayne family drama, which would be especially fun if he still doesn't figure out Bruce's identity as Batman, he just resents the Waynes. Then again, even though Scarecrow's class struggle angle goes back to the earliest comic appearances, this ground has already been well-trodden with Edward Nashton and Selina Kyle in the first movie, so it depends on whether they want to take a new tack or expand Gotham's class disparity to be a major theme of the series.

anyway, these are just a handful of ideas - would love to hear other thoughts!

[thehotelpod]

DOUBLE STUFF OCTOBER IS ALMOST OVER LETS TALK HOTEL EN ESPAÑOL

All the way back way back when we were just doing Theatre of Tomorrow I had a dream of doing our show in Spanish. Our resources, skill level, experience, and the complexity of ToT made that dream so out of reach it was just something fun to talk about.

"What if!"

Well when I decided to join Bloody Disgusting, I knew with the resources, experience, and the simplicity of the Hotel's production that maybe, just maybe, we could pull it off. And I was sure this show would sound fucking incredible in Spanish. It's a perfect fit.

I'll spare you the boring and gory corporate details (it's mostly me in emails, phone calls, and video meetings explaining, arguing, fussing, and doing my best not to swear for months and months) but when the dust settled and the clouds parted out stepped-

Guillermo Ruiz de Santiago. A hero.

Memo is the Veronica in Mexico. He produces, runs the socials, figures out translation, and does all the casting. (I was involved, I heard the auditions and stuff but the buck stops with Memo.) None of this happens without him, and he understood the project and was very excited to bring it to the Spanish speaking audiences everywhere.

I am blown away that this show exists. I can hardly believe my luck. It's everything I hoped it would be and more. It sounds incredible. Ginette Zavala, Alex Villalobos, and Edgar Cañas are wonderful as the Staff (and Alex and Memo recently got married!) and I am doing everything I can to get season 2 and 3 and on and on produced as well. We're almost at 10,000 downloads and listened to on three continents across 6 countries! Holy cow! is that right? yeah, okay wow.

If you haven't yet, listen to the first episode here (then listen to all the rest then tell a bunch of other people to do that too)

How bout that artwork? I knew for MMMMMMMMMMONTHS that I was going to reach out to @parasitic-saint to do the art for this. It did an incredible job with The Ranch postcard and of course I had commissioned some guest art based on some OTHER guest art it had already posted--look, the art speaks for itself:

I stared at this on my phone for the rest of the afternoon when I first got it. What can I say about it that your already faster beating heart can't tell you better? (but look at the line work on his tie!!!!)

Let's take a look at the rest!

(this one might be my favorite)

Now i reaaaaaalllly probably shouldn't post these high rez images here bc techincally they are Patron perks for our Hotel en español tier, but we only have one patron at that tier and she already has her stuff sooooo please...please look at these. Look how stunning these pieces are. I can't...I can't even do a commentary post like I did for Izzy's, my brain short circuits looking at these. The detail, the color, the angles. Oh my god. The folds?? In the poster??? immaculate. You can see we didn't have the official logo when it made the first few. They also all have title and episode number included because we had worked out a lot of the bugs already.

The dimension's it put in the pieces are incredible. You can almost reach your hand in and grab Botones.

Getting to hire Parasitic Saint as the official Hotel en español artist (and yes you will see more of Rat's art as we produce future seasons!!) is as exciting as getting to have the show at all.

It's a labor of love and I hope you all love it as much as I do.

[everysongineverykey]

and now, what no one's been waiting for: junie's official ranking of every (original) queen album, from favorite to least favorite! it's fucking long. have fun, if you're interested!

-the works: ah, this one is a fucking classic. peak queen, in my opinion. to me, this is the culmination of their sound and style as a band. this is the album that took priority in their iconic live aid performance (mostly because it'd just been released, but still), and for good reason. there isn't a single song on this album that isn't at least pleasant to listen to- even some of the less Good tracks like man on the prowl and i go crazy are at least still decent and have some good lyrics and a nice backbeat. and the hits on this record- my god, who can hear i want to break free and NOT start dancing? it's one of the best examples of john deacon's pure songwriting genius. roger taylor really shines on this one, too; radio ga ga is a powerful, touching tribute to the radio medium that actually has genuine emotion behind it. every time i hear "radio, what's new? someone still loves you" my heart aches. the boggles could NEVER. brian may writes some of his best social commentary in hammer to fall, which never fails to leave me moved to my core- it's so passionate, and the fact that it still holds up to this day really says something. none of the megahits on this album were penned by freddie mercury, but he still produces his share of bangers. it's a hard life is a passionate and earnest ballad about heartbreak that turns hopeful in the end and genuinely makes me want to fall in love, and keep passing the open windows is a simple yet beautifully uplifting song with some fucking amazing guitar bits. underrated gem, in my opinion! really, really picks you up. the whole album does, in fact. my favorite forever and always- it doesn't get more "queen" than this.

-sheer heart attack: this one's so so good. the overall sound of the album is really eclectic and varied, jumping from vaudeville to heavy rock to campy from song to song. it features the first song john deacon ever wrote for queen, the underrated bop misfire which i just adore- there's something about the energy and the earnestness of the lyrics and vocals that just make it. obviously we have freddie mercury's (and the band's) first ever megahit killer queen, which needs no introduction- the lyrics are some of the most intricate, cleverly worded ones he's ever written, and the song as a whole fits perfectly with the rest of the album's refined yet playful style. "drop of a hat, she's as willing as / playful as a pussycat / then momentarily out of action, temporarily out of gas / to absolutely drive you wild"- those lyrics perfectly describe sheer heart attack as an album to me. it pulls you in and then hits you with the wildest bait-and-switches ever, from the cheery, upbeat misfire straight to the long, emotional she makes me. it does that thing where almost every song segues perfectly into the next and doesn't really "end" properly, which probably isn't to everyone's taste, but i personally adore that the final line of flick of the wrist crosses over into lily of the valley- it sets the tone, in a way, because lily of the valley is far less shouty and angry, and opening it with a softer version of that classic "baby, you've been had" before breaking into a sweet piano melody really helps build atmosphere. roger taylor has one of his first vocal spotlights in tenement funster, and while it's not my favorite song ever, the lyrics are quite clever, and he sings it well, and it really shows you his potential as a lead vocalist and songwriter- potential he comes to fully realize in later albums. favorites of mine from this one include the classic brighton rock, misfire, flick of the wrist, the bouncy vaudeville bring back that leroy brown, and stone cold crazy (which has such fun lyrics). some of their strongest work!

-a day at the races: now, most would probably put this one below night at the opera, which is completely fair- the latter is one of their most famous albums, and that isn't at all undeserved, so it often ends up overshadowing its smaller-scale companion/sequel album. i personally think that's a crime, though! a day at the races has all the satisfying vocal arrangements and song styles as its predecessor, in my opinion, and what's more, it doesn't try to be the second a night at the opera- it's simply a more lowkey continuation of that type of music. standouts (to me) include roger taylor's drowse, which i believe is some of his most pleasant lead vocal work ever, with really good lyrics about burnout and midlife fatigue, and brian may's long away, which is so sweet and longing and melancholic it makes my brain go "we need to go home!! we need to go home RIGHT NOW!!!" even when i am at home. then, of course, there's freddie mercury's two hits, somebody to love and good old-fashioned loverboy, which. i mean, come on. these two songs were once described by a critic as "mercury's baroque one-two", and i think that says it all. they really ARE a one-two punch- somebody to love knocks you OUT with its passionate vocals and lyrics about loneliness and city-living burnout, and good old-fashioned loverboy finishes the job by surprising you with some of freddie's best lyric writing since killer queen and an addictive melody to boot. as for john deacon's work, he produces another sweet, earnest love song with you and i, again showcasing his talent for passionate love songs just as brian may deals perfectly in melancholia and roger taylor gives us one small town burnout anthem after another. as for freddie mercury, well, what doesn't he do? this album, i think, really shows you what each member is all about. it's their fifth album, but if you wanted to listen to it first, i wouldn't stop you at all.

-a night at the opera: well, this one was bound to be near the top, wasn't it? you know this one- even if you're not a serious fan, all i have to do is tell you it's the one with bohemian rhapsody, and you'll probably go, "oh. oh, THAT one." even if you don't know any of the other songs, i mean. it's the one with bohemian rhapsody. regarding that song, like. what can i say that hasn't already been said? it changed contemporary music history. it basically invented the music video. it became a mandatory north american white people party song for the rest of time. yadda yadda yadda you don't need me to ramble on about bohemian rhapsody. as famous as it is, it's actually not my favorite song on the album, which has a lot more to offer than just borhap- this album is home to my favorite queen song ever, you're my best friend, which is some of john deacon's best ever songwriting work. the man doesn't miss basically ever, but this one is particularly special. the beat's so damn bouncy and addictive, and the lyrics are the sweetest and so fun to sing- you can tell it was written out of genuine love and passion. listen to that "oooh, you make me live" and tell me you don't want to jump to your feet. it never gets old! besides that banger, we've also got '39, which is another brian may melancholia masterpiece- the lyrics tell a perfect story, and roger taylor's falsetto during the bridge is really, really something to behold. it's not even really edited, if you listen to a live version- he can just do that. men with high voices i love you. anyway, another standout is death on two legs, a delightfully angry and vitriolic song that is so mean to the band's asshole former manager that freddie mercury's bandmates were initially shocked when he showed them what he'd written, and he later actually questioned whether they should actually release it because it was so hateful. you can tell it's genuine, too- mercury's vocals have a rough, legitimately furious edge to them as he sings, which is something i LOVE in songs. it's so fucking fun to sing if you're angry, or even if you're not angry. incredible lyrics include "feel good? are you satisfied? / do you feel like suicide? (i think you should)" (yes they told him to kill himself in a song they released to the public. yes he sued them for defamation. yes all this did was reveal to the public that he was the bastard they were talking about and damage his reputation so bad he wrote an autobiography defending himself titled "life on two legs". anyways), "was the fin on your back part of the deal? shark!", and "insane, you should be put inside / you're a sewer rat decaying in a cesspool of pride". this song fucking rocks. three more underappreciated gems from this flagship album are lazing on a sunday afternoon, which is short but oh so sweet, seaside rendezvous, which is heartwarming and upbeat, and the prophet's song, an eight-and-a-half minute-long behemoth (yeah, you thought bohemian rhapsody was their longest song? you ain't seen nothing yet) about the biblical apocalypse that absolutely fucking slaps and makes you want to shake your fist at god. would recommend!!! i don't have much else to say about this album. it's an all-in-all really cohesive and well put together record that gets an unfair amount of focus put on its most famous song when it's got lots more to offer besides that. i like it!

-jazz: a delight through and through! the ones you're bound to know from this one are fat bottomed girls, bicycle race, and don't stop me now, which all rock, but i think it has a really steady groundwork of less well known songs holding it up besides the megahits. my personal favorite is if you can't beat them, another john deacon jam, but not about love this time- instead, it's about people trying to take your money. fun times! it's genuinely so fun to sing. i also like mustapha, though i can't really sing along to it since most of it's just gibberish (side note, it's really funny how freddie mercury clearly saw the opportunity to write a vaguely persian-sounding gibberish song that didn't actually mean anything but that would be believable to the average white person as meaning something in part because of his parsi background, and took it. get it king fool us we are stupid). jealousy is another really nice mercury piano ballad, and helps give the whole album a nice smooth, confident feel, as do songs like dead on time and leaving home ain't easy. the whole record gives off a very nonchalant "yeah, i know i'm cool, what of it?" vibe, but not in like an obnoxious way- in a completely deserved way. you can tell that they've really become confident in their style as a band by this point in their careers from the way every song fits together like puzzle pieces. they all sound so right!

-the miracle: this one's interesting. their third-to-last album, the miracle was released in 1989, around the time when freddie mercury's aids was beginning to take a turn for the worse, and i believe the first album written after his bandmates had found out about it. as such, it marks queen's first major forays into reflective songs about life, death, humanity, the impermanence of beauty, and abstract subjects like that. the eponymous single "the miracle," for which the album is named, is the perfect example- freddie mercury's (and the band's as a whole, but the chords were primarily mercury and deacon) declaration that there are miracles even in the smallest things in life, that everything in the world is beautiful, that one day we'll all get over ourselves and achieve world peace. you have other songs like that, too- scandal, written by a frustrated brian may annoyed at the tabloid press' hounding of his own declining marriage and the ailing freddie mercury, with some genuinely good lyrics ("today the headlines, tomorrow hard times, and no one ever really knows the truth from the lies"), and was it all worth it, written mainly by freddie mercury, asks just that, and concludes that in the end, everything that's happened has been for the best, and that the singer wouldn't change a thing. so all in all, the miracle is in concept a very good album- it's just such a shame that i only really like two of the songs on it. lol. i'd like to like the album as a whole, but... i don't know! although i recognise that it's objectively good, most of it doesn't do much for me. two songs i adore, however, are rain must fall and breakthru. rain must fall is a fun, cleverly written collab between freddie and john, who i would say are my two favorite songwriters in the band overall, so it really works marvelously well. breakthru is a primarily roger taylor-written piece that doesn't have the deepest lyrics ever, but the chorus is really really good- freddie mercury reaches a heavenly high note in the second chorus that reminds you with a start that oh yeah, this guy has a four-octave vocal range and can sing as a baritone, a tenor, and even practically a soprano if he wants. insane. this album also features a decision of the band's to credit all their songs to the band as an entity instead of the individual members who wrote them, taking away some of the competitive nature and making them closer as a group. it's a nice show of collaboration and teamwork! again. i want to like this album better. i really do. but aside from the ones i listed above and the invisible man, most of it's just okay. i wouldn't not recommend it, though. different tastes for different people.

-made in heaven: ohhh this one. this one. their last album as queen, released years after freddie mercury's death and made up of songs he had recorded vocals for before death without instrumentals because he knew he wouldn't have time to wait for the rest of them to play all together. as such, it's... an emotional record. most of the songs are about the impermanence of youth and beauty, such as it's a beautiful day and a winter's tale (which i believe was the last song freddie mercury ever wrote), which both exude a sense of peaceful finality. they give "i'm satisfied, and i'm ready to go." it touches me deeply when i think about it- i only wish the actual songs did the same. there are some really good ones, of course- mother love is a classic, with the final verse being sung by may because mercury died mid-recording- and that vocal change really really adds to the turbulent, haunted atmosphere of the song. as far as i know, that's one of only two queen songs that share two lead vocalists with relatively equal amounts of singing time (the other one is the tribute song they wrote for freddie after he died. so.). it's really powerful, and even at death's door, freddie sings his fucking heart out and delivers some spine-chilling vocals ("i don't want pity, just a safe place to hide! mama, please, let me back inside..." haunts my dreams). too much love will kill you is another favorite- it's passionate and emotional and i was legitimately shocked when i found out it wasn't written by freddie. you will see why if you listen to it. all in all, made in heaven, like the miracle, is so so fucking good as a concept, but in reality, i can only really get into one or two songs. i love the vibes, though- peace and love and finality and acceptance and hope.

-news of the world: this one's okay. it's not BAD, by any means- most of them aren't- but it's always felt very generic rock to me personally. to be clear, i'm kind of biased, since i like their more unusual stuff. this is a big album. it's the one with we will rock you and we are the champions, for god's sake. and there ARE songs i like on it- john deacon's classic songwriting shows up again on the tango-y who needs you, which is very sweet both lyrically and musically, and it's late goes so fucking hard and stirs definite emotion in me. it's got good stuff- ballads as well as their typical rock tunes, and all recognizably distinct from each other. i love the album art, and everyone does a great job individually and produces some great work, but if you like their more eclectic work, i wouldn't say this album's for you- it's much more down-home type rock.

-innuendo: their second-to-last album, and the last one freddie mercury was alive to record. despite being sandwiched between two melancholy albums focusing on life and death and acceptance, this one takes a break from that- it gets a little experimental with it, with tracks like innuendo and bijou being the best examples. of course, the best songs on it are i'm going slightly mad and these are the days of our lives, which are also the most famous ones- i'm not pretending to be unique here. honestly, it's not my thing- the album art's cool, and the funky, more electronic vibes are nice, but other than the aforementioned two songs, none of it really makes an impression on me. delilah's sweet, though. sometimes you just gotta write a song about your favorite cat who you love so much even though you have like six. freddie mercury was so real for that

-queen ii: i'll be honest, their really early work is not for me. it's far more folky and has a recurring fantasy theme to it, with songs talking about fairies and ogres and rats and the like. freddie mercury's vocals are a bit higher in a couple songs, giving him kind of a fey-ish sound, so i guess i like that that works with the theme. i do like one song from this record- funny how love is is a very sweet little ditty about love in all its forms, and it's where i get my url. march of the black queen is also interesting, though it runs a little long for my taste. this is from the time where they were still figuring out their style as a band, and though you can tell they had fun with it, it obviously didn't really last past the third album. on the whole, it's fine. nevermore is fine. some day one day is fine. funny how love is is very good. i approve! but i don't really like listening to it all the way through.

-a kind of magic: ehhhh. the two albums that immediately follow and precede this one are both better (the miracle and the works respectively). it's got a specific sound to it, but i can't really explain it- i don't have the fancy music words. you have to listen to it to get it. the only track i really like is friends will be friends- it has a nice guitar riff and it's about friendship, so of course i approve. i honestly don't have much to say about this one. at the very least it stands out as audibly its own album and clearly distinct from the others (but again, for the life of me, i can't explain how. it's not super electronic or disco-y, but it's not old-fashioned heavy rock either. it's a nice blend of the two). the song a kind of magic itself is nice, but not really nice enough to get this album a higher spot on the list. sorry besties this one just isn't it :(

-queen: again, from the era where they were really into the tolkien stuff. it's a small album. it's all okay. i have nothing to say about it. they have a song about... jesus. cool. at least keep yourself alive is good. now that's got staying power! it shows hints, i think, of how the band's sound will develop in the future, and it's still nice to listen to. yeah!! we SHOULD keep ourselves alive!! other than that, though, entirely unremarkable album. sorry

-the game: okay i. i'll be honest i don't get the hype. this one seems to be generally pretty well-liked and i don't get why. is it because it has another one bites the dust (once again courtesy of our man of the hour mr deacon)? like what else has it got? crazy little thing called love? i'm sorry i really don't get why that song's so beloved. it's fine! it's a normal rock song! nothing special! and yet it's somehow my uncle's favorite queen song. the only song i actually kind of like from the game is need your loving tonight (john deacon again! he does not miss), but it's not quite enough of a saving grace to bump it up to third from last. it's even more generic rock than news of the world. maybe i just need to listen to it again, but last time i did, i found nothing at all interesting about it. i liked need your loving tonight, but that's it. however, it still isn't as bad as

-hot space. you knew this one was gonna be last. you know under pressure? that awesome fucking song about societal divide and how we need to reach out to others and open our hearts to fix things but we're scared of that vulnerability deep down? yeah, great song, right? well, the rest of the album kinda sucks. SORRYYYY i'm sure it's to some people's taste but it's not at all what you want from queen. it's entirely electronic disco 80s funk- which isn't inherently bad, just... again, not what queen fans want to listen to, generally. in fact, it caused such discord within the band that they all split up for like a year and took a break from each other because they kind of all hated each other for it for a while. then they came back and produced their best album, the works! so that makes up for it :3 this album is still. not good. though. the songs all sound the exact same, and it's not even a good sameness. it's the exact same bland 80s disco song over and over again. there are one or two glimmers of hope in there- las palabras de amor is a nice effort, as is life is real, freddie's touching tribute to john lennon, and brian makes a nice attempt at some social commentary with put out the fire, a song about gun violence. the lyrics aren't really thought-provoking, just kinda "aren't anti-gun law people stupid?", not really the most revolutionary stuff in the world, but it's kind of fun anyway. very sad that the actual melody is not interesting in the slightest. if you are wondering why queen suddenly decided they were all about disco in 1980, well, it's in large part because the album was heavily influenced by freddie mercury's then-manager (boyfriend as well? i think? he was in the movie but they could've made that up) who hated rock and loved disco. why they let him convince them to make this album i cannot figure out. hot space 1980 why. your best song is one that wasn't even written for you. under pressure was written like a year before they got any ideas of r&b or dance music in their heads and it shows. thanks but no thanks

[ultrahpfan5blog]

Barbenheimer Part 1: My thoughts on Barbie....

So I did Barbie and Oppenheimer in one day with a 50 min break between shows. Definitely quite the experience and a really good cinematic experience at that. First up was Barbie.

Now, first thing's first, as a guy, I am clearly not the target audience for the film. Not that you need to be a guy to enjoy the movie but the social commentary is clearly aimed at women. So keep that in context when it comes to my opinion. When it came to the movie as a whole, I really liked about 75% of the movie and about 25% of it fell flat. Still leveling out to be quite a fun watch, but it does have some obvious flaws. I watched it with a crowd that was buzzing and it was really cool theatrical experience.

The good stuff is really good. Firstly, I have to compliment the production design of the movie. Barbie World is gorgeously created. The colors just pop on screen. Same with the costume design for all the Barbies and the Kens. The humor, when it works, is really funny. The film is consistently light but also digs into deeper issues without descending into heavy drama. Also, clocking in under 2 hours, it is very well paced and does not overstay its welcome. Also, the performances are excellent across the board.

When it comes to issues, the film's humor is a bit hit and miss. When it hits, its terrific, and I do think it hits most of the time, but there are several points where the joke just doesn't land. Also, a few character beats, such as the reconciliation between Gloria and her daughter, feel rather rushed. Additionally, the Mattel employees aren't used very well as characters. The film is very over the top in its depiction of the real world as well as Barbie World, which was a bit weird and took away from the movie a bit. When the real world is just as wacky, it makes Barbie World look more normal. I also didn't quite get the mechanics of how this world works. Stereotypical Barbie faces an existential crisis because of Gloria, but there must be thousands of Stereotypical Barbie out there. So why the connection to just Gloria's doll? Additionally, there are a few times, like with Ken's resolution, where they could have played it straight and that would have made for a deeper and more emotional ending for him, but they choose the jokier route. Also, the film is very blunt. It is not even the 's' of 'subtle' in its depiction of the dynamics between men and women. While this is done on purpose, it does feel like they lay it on a bit too thick at times.

As I mentioned, the performances are terrific across the board. Margot Robbie anchors the film beautifully. She has the balance of looks and acting chops to pull this off. Ryan Gosling steals the show with his comedic timing as Ken. You do feel a sense of sympathy towards him. America Ferrera is very likable as Gloria and she kind of gets the big monologue which is the film's thesis in a way. Will Ferrell is largely wasted here as Mattel CEO, though he does have a couple of good laughs. Ariana Greenblatt is effective as Sasha. Kate McKinnon brings her brand of energy to weird Barbie. A host of other stars like Emma Mackey, Alexandra Shipp, Simu Liue etc... also deliver effective supporting turns as specific Barbies and Kens. Also want to give a special mention to Helen Mirren's narration in the movie. It accounted for arguable the biggest laugh in the whole movie.

Greta Gerwig is 3/3 with her filmography. I wouldn't say this is her best though. Her directing is excellent, but the script isn't as strong as for Lady Bird and Little Women. I think this may be her weakest film of her solo director features, but it is still a solid and fun film which is already on its way to being a monster hit judging by the reaction in the theater, and I feel really happy for her for that. Overall, I would say this is a 7.5/10.

[celestie0]

ELLIEIEIEIEIE hi 💗💗

bae you should’ve HEARD the squeal i let out when you posted 😭 i like rolled around on my bed and kicked my feet for a good minute or two IM SO GLAD YOUR BACK BAEEE 💗

also bae omg im realizing how many mistakes i made on my most recent ask omg its so embarrassing 😭😭 im assuming you understood what i meant tho? 😭 IN MY DEFENSE I WAS ON THE TRAIN SO IT WAS BUMPY AND I DIDNT WANT PPL SEEING MY PHONE 🫠 like have you ever been in public and then someones looking over at your phone?? SHIT HAPPENS TOO OFTEN I SWEAR.

bae missing gojo so bad rn i turned to character ai 😓

anyway do u remember C?? yeah so i confessed and uh 🧍‍♀️he kinda just brushed it off and brought up another girl 😭 BUT GET THIS. THE OTHER GIRL IS ONE OF MY CLOSEST FRIENDS. like imagine you’re texting a girl who’s been your friend SINCE YOU WERE KIDS and KNOWING she has a crush on you and then you still bring up one of her closest friends relationship status. LIKE??? i’m being so fr when i say this i cried. i called my friend D in TEARS after i finished talking to C and D was just like “yo wait what happened?” and then i had to explain AND IT TURNS OUT C HAD BEEN ASKING ABOUT MY FRIEND FOR A WHILE. they danced together once at a party and apparently hes had a crush on her ever since??

okay but enough abt C,, hes an asshole and i never want to speak to him again (i still like him very much and i still need him but im tryna cope lolol) 💗 how’ve u been bae?? i hardly ever send in asks anymore so i feel like we don’t interact as often 😞 omg bae do u have any show recommendations?? i’ve been dying to watch something new lately but all the shows my friends recommend are ones i’ve seen already 😓😓

anyway bae thats all 💗 i hope you were doing well on your hiatus (even though it was short!) and i can’t wait for the next kickoff update ‼️ byebye and i love uuuu

-🦌

hiii my lovely <33 OMG you're too fucking sweet i swear you make me smile everytime i see you in my inbox. yes it's nice to be back i missed everyone lots :'') i still might take it a lil easy tho haha i realized during my hiatus i've gotta just spend less time on tumblr between my fic updates kdjfhsdkfjl

haha yes i hate when ppl look at screens. but i always used to look at people's screens during lectures in college to see what they're up to and what they're ordering on amazon HAHA i guess it's human nature to be nosey asf

omg NOOOO babe that's horrendous fuck C i'm so sorry you went through that :(( you deserve sm better than that. aww bb whatever helps you cope is valid, but i do think that maybe it's time to let C go...you confessed n did what you could, and even if he didn't like you back, he should've treated your confession w care n respect. the way he reacted is major red flag!! i'm sorry though, i know you've known him a long time, so that has to be really tough to go through :'') chin up bb, i promise you'll find better guys out there that will treat you w the care you deserve

i've been okay!! i had my last day of work on thursday which was kind of bittersweet, i cried in front of my PI LOL (he's an old german man and he's always been very sweet to me n i'm really gonna miss him aaa) i had social plans the past couple of days which was fun but i'm kind of an introvert so i spent today recharging my social batter haha.

ooo i've been watching bojack horseman recently!! i like it, it's funny and realistic, but i've heard it becomes a total shitshow (not as in it becomes a bad show, it's still a great show BUT the characters kinda stress you out)...i really like it, i've been recommending it to people! i like shows that are kind of cynical commentaries w an overlay of comedy though HAHA so if you're into that too, i'd recommend it. if you wanna watch a really good romance show, i'd recommend 'one day' on netflix!! it's like a slow burn friends to lovers, and the acting in it was phenomenal. no spoilers but i will give a heavy angst warning.

thanks bb!! yes my hiatus was good haha i appreciate you sm <33 love u tooooo darling

[wack-ashimself]

Sense of humor IS different among whites especially.

The Lobster: Super european dark comedy. Less than 30 minutes in, I knew the average USA citizen would not find it funny. But English people would find it witty. English (tech Greek) humor is dry. A lil daft. Taking a chunk of the humanity out of the humans to make a point...but it makes them less human. 'Look at this social commentary on humans if they didn't act human.' WOW. It felt like I was watching aliens try to be human.

YOLO Silver destiny (side note: LOVE smiling friends. Bring that back): it's so stupid, I would almost THINK that it was from the USA (tech says from Australia tho the show ITSELF says new zealand), but....it's one of those 'do anything, be offensive, bs' like rick and morty however without any of the meta, deep reflections upon society, or black comedy. This show feels like two jocks turned into women then partied across the cosmos. Rick and Morty but frat boys with vaginas. btw-so are we going to think it's funny forever when a man voices a woman? You see women voicing little boys, but rarely grown men. But grown men voicing grown women? Why TF not?

Now I am not saying USA* comedy is superior. Or mine is (I love puns. I KNOW puns are dumb). It's more I want to know how as a society, a culture, these senses of humor differ so much (and are consistent in their respective cultures). The Lobster was dark, violent, dry, and too on the nose. Like many english arts. The closest movie I could remember close to it was wristcutters: a love story (And I am pretty sure that is english too). Yolo was nonsensical (even more than rick and morty) but not in a fun way. Like she grabs a beer from her vagina, cracks it open on her vagina, then sits down and watches her friend dream having a bet she'll lose on their dream. I laughed ONCE in the episode, and that's a newer one**. It's mean spirited (seems to be a running theme in animation lately), and, kind of like velma, who is the target audience? Like velma, you kind of just piss off every audience...pleasing no one.

<SERIOUSLY VELMA IS TERRIBLE> Watch the pitch meetings of velma on youtube: he hits EVERY nail on the head of why it's fucking terrible>

*I say USA and not america because a year ago I watched top 10 things the world doesn't understand about america. And one of the top ones from EVERYWHERE was 'why do you fucking call yourself america? You are the united states of America. 'America' is canada, USA, and mexico.' And...they have a point. Kinda a big ego to say were are ALL of this.

*and I objectively asked if it's because the 'women' are the leads, but there's tons of comedies where woman are the leads I love. Parks and Rec, Birdgirl (which I found FUNNIER than birdman), and 30 rock. KIDDING. 30 rock is rich people writing about rich people to rich people and those who idolize them. I have NEVER met someone who LOVED 30 rock who I didn't find at least a littlepretencious. FUCK tina fey. She peaked on weekend update and mean girls (LOVE LOVE mean girls).

[spicedfink]

Clone High season 2 is kind of wack and like the thing that stood out to me in episode 1 is Joan getting kicked out of the unity committed because Abe messed up. When Joan said "I know" and took off her lanyard I thought they were going to have Frida be like "Girl wtf? No, that's stupid." to further the "people are more accepting now" narrative

But if they really wanted to lean into the whole cancel culture bit they could have framed the second gen clones as jerks: instead of "look how bad Abe is" it'd be "look at these people giving him a hard time when he literally doesn't know what he's doing wrong" and they could have made Joan's putting distance between her and Abe lean more into her desire to be seen as a good person from season 1 and just showed her walking on eggshells around her new friends. This could also bring good parallels between Joan and Topher because Joan actually being a good person and trying to prove herself compared to Topher not being a good person but wanting desperately to be seen that way And then for the end of the episode instead of the whole "Abe was wrong now he must be punished" it could have been throwing bricks from glass houses bit where the whole school was kind of shitty people or they could have used this as a chance to characterize Topher the way they actually wanted to by having him seen as a good person by the whole school in episode 1 but the end up the episode it's raveled he's actually the nastiest person in the whole school (which also could have served as commentary on how straight cis white men can be seen as good people by doing the bare minimum)

I still think cancel culture jokes aren't very good. My general issue is cancel culture jokes tend to be conflating calling someone out for dangerous narratives that lead to further oppression to someone saying something vaguely offensive when they were 13 - usually ignoring things like how more famous people will get more support when called out for repeated patterns of hateful behavior but individual creators are usually destroyed if someone makes a call out post even if it's fake. Not to forget how people tend to focus on targeting people who are part of oppressed groups over privileged people doing the exact same things or worse things. And for the episode/show: there was so much room for actually social commentary that while it might not have been funny it would have made it more clear how we were meant to feel about the characters

The only real problem with this is that it would effect the whole Joan and Abe aren't able to be friends narrative (which feels forced as is), they could have made the conflicted less about Joan not wanting to be seen with Abe and more about JFK feeling discomfort with Joan being close to Abe which could have been a better catalyst for their break up.

Imagine Joan avoiding Abe because JFK says he doesn't really want them hanging around each other because of the history and then Joan could either hang out with Abe behind his back (oh the drama that could be had) or simply breaks up with him because she decided he was being controlling I'm serious on how fun the drama of Joan being like "Abe doesn't even like me and I'm over him so JFK is in the wrong but I don't want to fight about it because then he'd think I really did have feelings for Abe" then Abe makes a move on her and she's like "WTF man??" and then she starts being over the top with JFK because "oh no" she isn't actually over Abe As things were I don't get why Joan didn't break up with JFK earlier, like why was JFK and Harriet's actions fine but Abe's weren't? I get the made up plot illness but they really said it was okay for her boyfriend to cheat on her with her new best friend ignoring that she was already sensitive about girl friendships so this betrayal was actually soooo much worse

The problem is that they seemed to ignore their own set ups, like I knew episode 1 that JFK and Joan were going to break up that much was clear by how pander-y it was. They didn't need to drag it out. They had 10 episodes to work with and didn't actually know how they wanted to pace things and it wasn't just having fun and making jokes so it really stood out. Not to mention they meant for the character's relationships to be stage front and center which makes the issues more concerning

Like season 1 characters doing things that don't make sense with what had already happened was fine, sometimes even added to the comedy like in the episode where the whole plot was Abe and Cleo were making a big deal about how their first kiss needed to be perfect despite already having kissed in the first episode.

If I'm suppose to take the stupid clone high school drama seriously it has to be consistence if I'm just suppose to laugh and move on it doesn't matter that much

[bustyasianbeautiespod]

Episode 88 Transcript: Does Sam Winchester Have Anything to Say to the People of the United States (and the Philippines)?

[intro guitar music]

G: Hello, it's Grey.

C: Hello, it's Crystal.

G: And this is Busty Asian Beauties, a Supernatural commentary podcast where I, someone who has seen this show many, many times...

C: And I, someone who only knows the show through social media, discuss every single episode of Supernatural from start to finish. Also, we are both Asian.

G: Both Asian! For today's episode, we will be discussing Season 5, Episode 6: "I Believe the Children Are Our Future," written by Daniel Loflin and Andrew Dabb, directed by Charles Beeson. Loflin/Dabb!

C: Yeah. Well, soon, they will do a terrible thing to us. [laughs]

G: When soon?

C: When's "Hammer of the Gods"?

G: Oh my god, you're right! It is- they are “Hammer of the Gods.” [C laughs]

C: Yeah, I mean, that is what I primarily think of them as.

G: They will do two episodes first before they do "Hammer of the Gods."

C: Okay. Alright. I'll work up to hating them, then. [G: Yeah.] We finally get a proper Sam mirror episode. It's been so long!

G: Literally. What if there was a mirror held up in front of San Winchester? [C: What if?] And it's so fun! You know what? I solemnly- I will say this. I'll put this on the record. This is a good Supernatural episode. [C: Mm.] Do you agree? Disagree? What are your thoughts?

C: Yeah. I think I generally liked it, but I think that some of the stuff they said wasn't making any sense, like, especially at the end.

G: Well, that's why I said it's a good Supernatural episode. [C laughs] Like, it's not a good- I think it could be a good episode, but I'm not going to make that stance. Like, I'm not gonna die on that hill. But I am gonna die on the hill of it being a good Supernatural episode. Like, it has all the makings of Supernatural. It's not, like, trying something new or different. It's just Supernatural as what it does, and it does a good job of it! I think it's a fine- it's a wonderful Supernatural episode!

C: He didn't even leave a note with his birth mom. Where did she go after that?

G: I have no idea. It is crazy that she was a person, and then turns-

C: Yeah, and then she gets possessed, and then she's just passed out in a chair for the rest of the episode.

G: She was a person, and her backstory is about how traumatizing it was to be possessed, and then at the end of the episode, she gets possessed, and then she is treated like every other person that was a vessel in Supernatural that isn't a main character. [C: Yup.] And it's like, well, mm.

C: Yeah, literally, it's like, "It was so terrible to be used only for my body, and I'm still dealing with the repercussions of that," and then at the end, they just treat her like a body as well. [G: Yeah.] Good job, writers.

G: And, like, they didn't even think about taking her to Bobby's as well or giving her a damn amulet? [C: Tattoo?] Yeah, I don't know. Giving her Bobby's hat? Like, you haven't thought of this?

C: [laughs] Exactly. Also- yeah, whatever, we'll get into it later. The conversation on the car made no sense. [laughs]

G: I completely zoned out in that part because I was like, "What the fuck are they talking about?"

C: "What the fuck are you talking about?" [laughs]

G: But okay. [laughs] "I wish Dad didn't tell us things when we were kids." What?? Okay.

C: "I wish, instead, he lied about how jacking off makes hair grow on your palms." [laughs] Like, no, you don't!

G: Well, first, what did you know about this episode before going in ?

C: Just so that this is gonna be with an Antichrist kid named Jesse, and Cas wants to kill him, [G: Feminist!] and then he just turns Cas into an action figure, [G: Also feminist.] and then Dean will ask if he can bring him back 'cause Cas is like, his friend.

G: "It's my buddy Cas." Yeah.

C: Yeah, "He's kind of a buddy of mine."

G: Ah, lovely! I think I've said this before, but this is another one of those episodes where Cas is in it, but also, like, not really.

C: Yeah. They do action figure him.

G: Like, he is in it. Yeah, they put him in the bank vault by turning him into an action figure. [C: Exactly.] And like, he is relevant, but also like, what I mean is in future seasons when he becomes more of a "there's a plot A/plot B happening in this episode, and he's plot B" kind of situation, or sometimes even plot A. And in the future, I would say, [laughs] I'm premonitioning that I would say that, "Oh, I miss when Cas was just like, in an episode that's just like, his role is just bullshit. He's just in there." [C: Uh-huh.] And because it adds to the vibe of the show that they just have this buddy that like, shows up sometimes, and it's no big deal. I mean, it is a big- you know what I mean, right? Like, it's no big deal to the show. Instead of like, every time he shows up, it has to be because of a big plot reason or a big character reason. And it makes the show feel smaller, makes the word feel smaller, because every time he's here, it has to be a big deal by the episode. And now it's like, "He's here. It's not that big of a deal." And that's wonderful to me! [laughs]

C: Uh-huh. Happy for you.

G: I would admit, though, for a substantial amount of time before he shows up- I mean, I knew he was gonna be here- I was just thinking, "When's Cas gonna show up? When's Cas gonna be here?" So I don't know. It's a double-edged sword.

-

G: Well, we start with the "Then" sequence that was so ominous. I was half-scared that Sam and Dean are gonna have a big fight again because it starts with "You chose a demon over your own brother!" [C laughs] and I was like, "I thought we were past this! I thought we were past this." We are. We are. In the episode, it's not, like, brought up. It's just- I don't even know why.

C: We're so past this that they're working as a team so hard that they refuse to split up, which I think is like, [laughs] a large issue during a lot of the episode.

G: Why? Why do you think so? They split up in the hospital. Sam went to a different floor, and Dean went to a different floor! [C laughs] That's splitting up.

C: I feel like one of them should have stayed with Jesse, [G: That's true.] and one of them so should have stayed with his mom or something. I feel like that would have solved most problems.

G: No, yeah, you're right. But they did split up! Don't peddle lies in this podcast.

C: Different floors of the hospital, I don't think counts. [G laughs] Split up as in different buildings, at the very least.

G: Well, okay, alright. But the ominous tone doesn't really continue into the episode. Actually, a substantial amount of the episode was light. Was like, trying to be funny. Yeah. So there was, I suppose, like, some idea that this could be- like, they bring up the trickster, blah blah blah. But you know it's not gonna be, like, that, because it's not in the "Then" sequence. [laughs]

C: They bring it up 'cause "Changing Channels" is coming, like, up so soon, they want to remind people about Gabriel, right?

G: You're right. When is "Changing Channels"? When do we change our channels?

C: I think it might be like, literally next.

G: Oh, it's 5.08. So it's near.

C: Okay, so in 2.

G: It's near, it's near. You're right, actually! That's true. "Then" sequence ends with Sam and Dean reconciling. Wow! "[dramatically] We're gonna go down fighting. We're just gonna grab onto whatever it's in front of us," and it's like, this could be from any episode. [C laughs] [C: It could be.] This could be literally from any fucking episode, but alright.

C: They say this constantly. Also, you didn't beat up this child, so I think you were lying?

G: I think Sam was lying.

C: Yeah, something to think about.

G: I think Sam is of the perspective that they're the good guys and they don't kill children because of that. [C laughing] But like, he also said that they would just grab onto whatever's in front of us, so.

C: Yeah, and then kick its ass. Soo yeah. Interesting, Sam. Interesting.

G: Yeah. Bit hypocritical from Sam Winchester.

C: What do you have to say to the people of the USAmerica about this?

G: And the Philippines, even.

C: And the Philippines. I guess nothing, 'cause it's not on Netflix for you guys.

G: Yeah! Can you- why? Put Supernatural on Netflix.

C: It's so that he wouldn't have to be liable for his lies to the people of the Philippines. [G laughs]

G: This is the real reason, the only reason. But it would be awfully convenient, and maybe we would even get it a Tagalog dub, on Netflix! so I don't have to hound whoever has ever worked in TV5 for the fucking Tagalog dub. Again, if you know any way that I can access that fucking dub, I want it very much. Thank you.

The episode starts. We've got, like, a young lady. She's going to be revealed to be babysitting in a while. Or, I don't know. Is it called babysitting if it's not a baby?

C: Yeah, it's still called babysitting.

G: Okay. This is like, really popular in the US. [C: Yeah.] Did you ever get one? Is that like, something for you?

C: No, I never got one.

G: Okay, it's like, a specific demographic. [laughs]

C: I always had a parent- Well, I think it's just like, how many of your parents work, what hours they work, [G: Ah.] how much money they make so they can get a babysitter. And then, I don't know. I think sometimes people will get a babysitter when they want to go on like, dates with their partner or something, and so they're leaving the kids alone at night? [G: Yeah.] It's also if your parents don't have friends that they can leave you with, I suppose. [laughs]

G: Yeah. Like, you just go to your aunt's house, or you go to your neighbor's house for the afternoon or whatever. She's babysitting, and she is, you know, she's brushing her hair while sitting in front of this television, very close to the TV, and she's watching and watching. And she is wearing a typical Supernatural outfit and in a typical Supernatural house with typical Supernatural lighting. And all I could think of was like, can you believe that she's not, like, "I'm in a Supernatural episode!" that it looks like this. Like, girl, be fucking for real right now. [C laughs] I can't believe people on television don't realize that they're on television! Like, bro, you're literally in Supernatural! Also, isn't it so odd that they just never change fashion styles in this show? [laughs] I mean, is it odd, or that's just how it is?

C: True. It's been a few years.

G: It's been a few years, and it will continue to be a few more years, and the look of the outfits will never change.

C: Really? No one changes their outfits? Wow!

G: No, I don't think so.

C: Maybe the costume department just bought like, things in bulk in, like, 2005, [both laugh] and they're just slowly working through it.

G: For real. Eventually, she hears, like, some rustling, some bustling, and she realizes that, oh, something's happening. She goes to the closet. She opens the closet door, and there's a kid there. And he's like- he has stuff in his head.

C: He's wearing one of those hats that's like, half of an arrow on each side, so it looks like it went through your head.

G: And he has a quote "bloody" face. And I didn't realize that this was a trick at first, so I was like, [C: Oh, I don't think you're supposed to.] yeah, I was like, "What an interesting turn of events that this girl is a serial killer!" [both laugh] 'Cause she opens it, and she's like, "Ugh, come on!" I was like, "Oh my god! She killed this kid! Wonderful!" [C: Yeah.] But no, she did not kill this kid.

C: No, she's gonna die instead. It's very sad.

G: Yeah. Very sad. [laughs] The child should have died? Is that what you're saying, Crystal? The child should have died?

C: Babysitters are often teens as well. I don't know how old she is. [G: This is true. Or is it?] She could be a child who died.

G: Why are you making a child watch over your child? And pay them to-

C: That's just how it is.

G: Just let them be by themselves, just like Jesse later. [C laughs]

C: Yeah, I mean, Jesse is a pretty good kid. Like, he may have caused many problems, but that wasn't on him.

G: [laughs] It literally isn't. But yeah, she tells the kid to go to bed, and then the kid is like, "Well, before I go to bed, can I touch your boob?" [C: Boo.] Or something like that. And I'm like, "Ugh. Annoying. But also, this kid will be traumatized to hell and back later, so."

C: Yeah, no, it's just an annoying thing to put in because I feel like the hot babysitter is, like, such a trope. [G: Overplayed trope.] Yeah, and it's overplayed. And I hope that it hasn't led to more babysitters getting sexually harassed, but it probably has if like, you're a young kid who doesn't know shit, and you're watching TV, and there's more hot babysitter tropes in front of you all the time. [G: Yeah.] So yeah, it's annoying for that reason.

G: He goes out, she stays downstairs, she continues brushing her hair. She sees something outside. She looks out the window. It's, you know, like, it's a whole thing. And then, when the family shows up, well, the mom and dad, she's like, on the couch, and she's sleeping, and the TV is all buzzy. And the dad is like, "Okay, don't wake up. I'm just going to get her home, or whatever."

C: Which implies that she can't drive, right? So she probably is a teen.

G: What is the driving age? Is it also 21?

C: 16.

G: What the fuck? Wait, so your drinking age is-

C: Some people get their licenses- Yeah, the drinking age is 21. Driving age is 16. And you're right. You can probably kill a lot more people by driving than by drinking.

G: Well, at least you're not gonna be drunk driving.

C: [laughs] That's true. Yeah, I guess the point is for you to get a few years of getting good at driving, so that when some people inevitably drunk drive, they'll be, like, better at it. [laughs]

G: Yeah, except you and I are never gonna- [laughs] you and I are never gonna drive ever, probably. Do you have a driver's license? You do-

C: I have a driver's license.

G: That's crazy! That is so against my perspective of you as a person! [C laughing]

The dad tries to wake her up. She's not waking. When he moves her head over, he feels it's wet, and so he puts his hand under the lamp. It's bloody! He turns her over fully, and her entire side of her head is clawed open. Wonderful, honestly! [C laughs] Like, it looks like it has sloughed off, and I think the visual effect is very nice.

C: [laughs] He ruins it by shouting, "Francine!" I think it's crazy that people are named Francine. Good for them.

G: Hey, Francine is a fine name!

C: Yeah, I think it's just from, like, a different decade in the US, but this woman is from a different-

G: It's not! I have many friends- I know many people my age named Fran-

C: I said US!

G: Okay, fine.

-

C: We are in the morgue, and Sam and Dean are being FBI agents. My god, does the transcript usually say "Dean and Sam" instead of "Sam and Dean"? Like, I saw that, and I was like, "Something's wrong with this." Has this been like, a pattern?

G: I think it depends. I'm not particularly sure, although the technical, correct way to do it is "Dean and Sam" because of the order of letters.

C: Wait, like, you're usually supposed to list it in alphabetical order?

G: I mean, I usually do, yeah. Well, when it's names, like, when it's two names like this-

C: Well, you said "technically correct." Like, what's the technicality?

G: I don't know. I don't know! Don't ask me those kinds of questions! [both laughing]

C: [laughing] But you just said! Okay.

G: Yeah, they do Led Zep names this episode, and you know what? [C: What?] I think it's better when I don't recognize the names. I think it's so annoying when I do. I'm like, "Shut the fuck up!" [laughs] [C: Real.] You think you're so clever, Robert Plant? Like, shut the fuck up, Sam.

C: "We're Agents Will and Wood."

G: [laughs] Yeah, exactly.

C: They're asking to see Amber, the babysitter's, body because apparently, something clawed through her skull. Apparently, the autopsy report that he emailed out this morning- [laughs] Sam said they had no bars so they didn't get it [G laughs] [G: No bars.]- is that they found one of her acrylic nails, which I did notice, they're very beautiful during the opening sequence - they found one of them lodged inside of her temporal lobe, [G: Truly a shame.] which means that she literally scratched her brains out, and this is something that is apparently technically possible. The doctor drops a little ableist line about, "Oh, like, the reason she did it was OCD or PCP, but it all spells crazy." Did they think this was like, funny?

G: I don't know, or, like, the doctor is like-

C: Is it that the doctor's an asshole? What are they trying to establish here?

G: Well, because we're supposed to think the doctor is stupid for saying this because we know that's not true, [C: Right.] I think.

C: So yeah. Alright. Okay. Well, I'm still looking with reproach. [G: Yeah.] And he says that it's probably like, something like a phantom itch where you just can't stop scratching. And then, yeah, that's the end of that scene. But Sam and Dean [laughs] both sort of scratch themselves a little because they are now finding itchiness within themselves.

G: I would say also that the director- like, the way this episode is directed, I quite like. There's one scene that is viciously bad [laughs]- I'll point it out later.

C: I think there's multiple scenes that have Robert Singer-worthy zooms or cuts. [G laughs]

G: But in general, I quite really like the way the episode is directed. Like, the way they pull out the body, and then the shots of Sam and Dean’s face, the shot of the hand missing the nail. Like, all of it does look quite cinematic, I believe. And it's like, one of those- this is one of those episodes where, like, in my head, again, when I think of, like, Supernatural aesthetics, I'm like, "Oh, that's one." Which is like- 'cause usually, those are Season 1 episodes when I think of it, right? Like, if you think of Supernatural aesthetic, you're thinking of Season 1, so this one- I don't know. It doesn't look like Season 1, but it has a vibe to it that I like. It's nice. I like this episode. Sometimes, I like episodes. Who'd have thunk? Well, I mean, everybody, because apparently I've liked [laughs] every single episode of Season 5 so far, so.

C: Yeah, you have.

-

G: So we go to the house that she was in when she died, and I was like, "Well, that's interesting [laughs] that they're interviewing these people and not other people." Like, I don't know

C: What people?

G: Like, her parents, I feel like that would be- But it's because they are suspecting the place, not the general- before. Or are they?

C: Yeah, I think if that you're thinking about ghosts and shit, then you assume [G: You are suspecting-] it's place-based.

G: Yeah. They're interviewing the family of the house she was in, and Sam prefaces the question with, "This may seem odd," which is- why did they not just do this every single time? Like, "Hey, we're going to be asking odd questions, but stick with us." I feel like that is going to make people more willing to be like, "Well, that's an odd question. Let me answer it," than fucking, "Um, so, does it smell weird in here?"

C: Sometimes it makes you like- prefacing it with "Uh, this might be weird" makes you, like, realize that things are weird faster, though? Like, maybe in the past, they were hoping that people would just answer questions without thinking about it much.

G: Yeah, okay. I just cannot stop thinking about the people that like, Sam and Dean interview as FBI agents, and they think that the FBI is on their case, but they're not. [C laughs] And like, for some people, that would be an incredibly devastating blow, I think.

C: Yeah. Yeah, I mean, they really don't circle back. Like, this kid is going to spend the rest of his life thinking that he killed his babysitter.

G: Yeah, 'cause she's dead, so she hasn't been restored.

C: Yeah, she's the only one who wasn't, like, brought back by Jesse.

G: Well, there was the guy who got electrocuted.

C: Oh, yeah. Two people. That kid and that retiree are both going through it.

G: And the ham. [C laughs]

C: And the ham! Jesse brings it back as a pig.

G: Yeah, exactly. Sam asks about cold spots or, like, strange smells, blah blah blah. Meanwhile, Dean is separated from Sam! [C laughs] and is like, walking around the house, looking at stuff.

C: In the open floor plan, so there's not even a door between them, yes. [G laughs]

G: Well, and Dean sees the kid, and he goes towards him and asks him about stuff, and he tries to connect. And I do find this interesting because, you know, usually, when they have kids, they do have Dean try to connect with the kid. I feel like earlier seasons, it was easier for him to do so. As he grows older, I think it becomes more difficult to the point of, when he's older, he's being made fun of kids more than [C: Good.] connecting with them.

C: I mean, also, like, he's an FBI agent here, right? [G: Yeah.] Like, in the past, he wasn't pretending to be an FBI agent when he was interviewing kids. Like, that puts up barriers between your ability to connect.

G: So what he does here is talks to the kid. He tries to connect with being like, "Oh, yeah, I had a babysitter. Not good."

C: Named Miss Chancy, which is also- it's an interesting name. I just feel like Francine and Miss Chancy are both, like, I don't know who came up with these names. [G: Yeah.] Someone's having like, a weird British face.

G: [laughs] Francine is not British. Francine- "Francine." How do you say it in a British accent so I can visualize? Frahncine.

C: I don't know.

G: See? It doesn't work.

C: I mean, Clara is Clahra in British. Like, they can- you can fuck with the vowels. [G: Francine.] Francine is French, though, so the British would not want it.

G: This is true, so see, it's not British. No one's having a British phase.

C: Yeah, fine. They're having a Europe [both] phase.

G: Dean asks if he saw anything strange that night, and the kid keeps on denying, keeps on denying. And Dean does something that is so threatening, which is he puts his hand on this kid's shoulder and goes, "I happen to know you're lying. Either you tell the truth, or I'm going to have to take you downtown," like, to the precinct is the implication, which is like crazy! [C: Bro.] I mean, the fact that he was like, "I'm gonna try to connect with this kid!" Doesn't work. "I'm going to fucking arrest you." [laughs] that is like, okay!

C: Yeah. I mean, this episode is the one where Dean completely fails at connecting to kids. 'Cause, like, the kid of the day is a Sam mirror, and he doesn't understand that. [G: Yeah.] So it's just a precursor to that.

G: There is something to me about how Sam, when he saw Jesse making-

C: Yeah, he went, "You are my mirror. I am your mirror. Let us hold hands."

G: No, when he saw Jesse making soup, he goes, "I used to make lunch or dinner for myself all the time." [C: Dinner.] 'Cause me, physical manifestation of Dean Winchester, as we have established, [C laughs] my first immediate thought was, "Oh, Dean used to make that for him and Sam." [C: No.] So I think, perhaps, that would also be Dean's like, reaction. But vs Sam-

C: I'm sure that Sam also made his own dinner.

G: No, no, no, no versus Sam- like, I'm sure it happened. But in terms of conceptualization of the past, like, it is fascinating to me that for Dean, which- this is something I completely made up in my head, so maybe it's not even true, but I think it is - [C: Yeah, we don't know what he's thinking.] he probably conceives it as him and Sam- him making something for Sam. Versus Sam, who conceives it as, like, by himself. "I'm making dinner for myself."

C: As in like, he didn't share with Dean? [laughs]

G: No, no, no. He probably remembers the stuff when it was just him more. And like, it's about the prevalent memory in your head of your childhood. And I was like, "That's interesting that Sam said that, and therefore betrays a prevalence of memory in his head." [C: Yeah.] Like, it's not about what actually happened, because again, I'm sure both things did happen. It's more of like, "What do you remember?" But that's for fucking later. Here, they go out, and Dean relays to Sam that the kid put itching powder on the hairbrush of the babysitter. [C: Yeah.] So that's crazy!

C: Why?

G: That's crazy.

C: I don't know. Kids just do things, I guess.

G: Yeah. Well, Dean did put that whoopee cushion.

C: A whoopee cushion is just like, an embarrassment thing. Itching powder is meant to cause you physical distress.

G: Yeah, this is true. This is true. That is one of the, I think, worst things you can do as a prank to someone. Like, in in terms of the general prank items that you can do. That's like, up there as like- because it lasts for a long time in theory. And if you have sensitive skin, it can do real, long damage for you. But whatever. This kid is going to be- again, this kid's kind of a dick, but [laughs] is also gonna be traumatized for the rest of his life, so.

-

G: They get a call, and they go to a hospital where a guy got electrocuted. [laughs] Because there's like, a retiree, like, an old man who they talk to. And he says he was joking around, he was feeling goofysilly, and he shook this guy's hand with a, like- What is this? Like, a little electric buzzer or something?

C: It's called a joy buzzer, it says, yeah.

G: Yeah. But what is it? It's supposed to give you a little shock, right?

C: Yeah, but there's no actual electricity. It just, like, moves around a lot, so, like, it feels like vibrations from a shock.

G: Oh. Why is it called joy buzzer?

C: 'Cause it causes you joy to buzz somebody. [laughs] That does sound like a vibrator, though.

G: Yeah, well, it does. And Sam and Dean are curious as to how this is. There's this scene where Dean puts on goggles, puts on gloves, puts on- like,makes a show of putting on safety gear, and then he holds the joy buzzer and then presses it into a piece of ham.

C: Sam also puts on the goggles and the safety gear!

G: [laughs] No! Does he really? [C laughs] That is so funny! They're cooking ham. They're cooking. He electrocutes this fucking ham, and it goes from completely uncooked- or, I don't know. Can a ham be completely uncooked? Don't you smoke that shit? How does ham work?

C: It is cured in some way. I don't know.

G: 'Cause ham can just be the cut, also, like, I think. Or is it specifically-

C: Well, there's cooked ham, and there's uncooked ham. [G laughs] So you're probably thinking about the cooked ham.

G: Yeah, well, it's an uncooked ham, and now it's cooked! Now they have a cooked ham. And Dean is like, "Wow, this thing doesn't even have batteries. It's not even supposed to do anything." And they're like, "Are we looking at cursed objects? What are we looking at? Is there a witch?" And throughout all this, Dean has pulled out a knife and is [laughs] eating the ham. And they make a point of it throughout the rest of this episode where he keeps on eating the ham, and the and Sam being like, "Eugh, Dean. Why are you eating the ham still?" Those two items don't come from the same place, like, they were not produced in the same place, but they come from the same store.

-

C: They're at this prank store. They're browsing. Dean picks up a whoopee cushion, which will come back later. They're under the impression that the owner is a powerful witch, so they question him. Dean buys the whoopee cushion, and it becomes clear that the owner is upset that kids don't really buy things here because they just care about "iPhones and those kissing vampire movies." Last episode, there was also like the "Millennials don't care about wax museums, but I'm gonna get them in through Paris Hilton," right? [G laughs] Like, sort of a streak of "kids these days on they damn phones."

G: Yeah. And are they being for real?

C: What?

G: Like, what is the show intending for this to be- again, like, same question you asked with the doctor earlier. Like, is this supposed to be like, "Haha! That's so true." or "Haha! That's so stupid."

C: I think it's like, "That's so true, but prank stores and wax museums are loser behavior." [G laughs] So it's funny that this person's complaining about it because of course an iPhone is better than a wax museum.

G: Yeah, and also kissing vampire movies.

C: Sam and Dan are sort of egging him on, like, "Oh, aren't you mad about that?" He's like, "Yeah, yeah! I am!" "Don't you hate them?" "Yeah, I do!" And then Dean goes, "So you're taking revenge with this!" and then he electrocutes a rubber chicken.

G: God. That place is gonna smell like fucking plastic forever.

C: Yeah. When a revenge brother meets a not revenge brother, this is the inevitable conclusion. But the chicken is a melted puddle. It's pretty nasty. And the guy, the owner, he's screaming. He's jumping back. He's like, "Oh my god, what the fuck!" So then, Sam is like, "Yeah, no, I don't think this guy is a witch," and Dean goes, "Sorry!" and then they go, with the whole rubber chicken still melted on the counter.

-

C: Now we are in a girl's bedroom. I don't think this child actress is very good, but she is a child actress, so I get it. She's just lost a tooth, and her dad is putting it under the pillow and telling her about the Tooth Fairy. And she goes, like, "So some freak is gonna come in my room while I'm sleeping and take my tooth? Sounds scary. No thank you."

G: She's so real for that.

C: After he falls asleep, she goes into his room and then hides her tooth under his pillow. Later in the night, somebody comes into the bedroom. It is the Tooth Fairy represented as like, a man with a beard wearing a pink tutu and sparkly wings. And he's being all menacing, and he has a pair of pliers, and he starts pulling out the dad's teeth. I have two questions about the Tooth Fairy. Okay, 'cause these are, like, what Jesse's parents told him, right? So like-

G: Yeah. So they were like, "Don't expect a coin because-"

C: Yeah, "The Tooth Fairy only wants alive teeth!" [laughs] Like, why would they say that? I don't know. These parents, like, we don't meet them, and, like, something is deeply wrong with them as people [laughs] based off of what happens this episode.

G: No, yeah. We don't ever meet them. And like, I don't know. It is fascinating, again, to me that like- I was gonna bring it up earlier. We don't meet the babysitter's parents. We meet the family that's already there for casting reasons, I suppose. And here, too, like, we never meet the parents, again, I think, for casting reasons.

C: I mean, we see them asleep in the bed. They had to cast somebody for it.

G: Yeah. But speaking lines are lot more expensive than somebody standing there or lying down there, I suppose.

C: But yeah, I don't know. It's confusing. And also, I don't know why the Tooth Fairy is portrayed like this, like, physically. 'Cause like, I think when we got to the part of the episode where like, Jesse's- I was watching this with Danica also. When we got to the part of the episode where Jesse was like, "Oh, that's what my parents said, like, the Tooth Fairy looks like."

G: Like, why did your parents say that?

C: Danica was like, "Oh, he's about to say something so homophobic," [laughs] but then they move on. [G: Yeah.] But like, I wonder if that was what the point was.

G: Oh, because fairy is a slur?

C: Yeah, like, if the dad was like, "Oh, fucking fairies" or something, you know, like- 'Cause typically, the Tooth Fairy is portrayed as a woman.

G: It could be like- Yeah, it could be like, if the dad's homophobic and calls gay people "fairies," that he just associates it-

C: Yeah, it's like, a guy with a beard, and he's like, "Oh, so that's what the Tooth Fairy looks like." Also, I don't know why I said "dad." Moms can be homophobic, too. #Equality.

G: [laughs] #Equality and feminism.

C: Yeah, I just feel like I've only heard "fairy" used by like, men. Like, I feel like- but like, yeah. Women can use slurs too. #Feminism.

G: I've only heard "fairy" used by Dean Winchester. [laughs]

C: Exactly!

G: Yeah. Guy's guy, that guy.

C: Yeah, yeah. I think, given that, like, Supernatural, the show, thinks that the sentence "fight the fairies" would immediately make you think of homophobia, like, maybe they were trying to go for something like that there, but they just didn't follow through entirely.

G: Well, thank god.

C: Because Jesse still has to love his parents or whatever.

G: Jesse still has to love his parents, and also, we're supposed to think he's like, a niceys kid with just misconceptions.

C: I don't think he's not niceys- Like, you could have misconceptions because your dad keeps saying "fairies." You don't have to be homophobic yourself.

G: Yeah, and also, it's not like, a homophobic-

C: Why did I say "dad" again? Your parent. [G laughing]

G: We are exposing our prejudices. Is that how you pronounce it? Prejudices. Prejudices? Whatever. We're exposing that here in this podcast episode.

-

C: This guy is still alive, but he's in the hospital, so Sam and Dean go interview him. Sam's doing his job, whereas Dean is being the most annoying guy you'll ever meet. He's flirting with a nurse, and like, he goes like, "I appreciate that, Nurse..." and then the transcript says that he reads her name tag. He does not just read her name tag. It is clipped, like,at her waist, and he picks it up, [G: Grabs it, yeah.] and like, pulls it towards him. Like, if anyone tried to do that, I would kill them, probably.

G: Yeah, but this person seems to be liking it.

C: Yeah. So maybe Dean's just picking up on signals or whatever.

G: Yeah. I mean, we've had this discussion wayyy back when we were still doing the per person Sam and Dean misogyny accounts. [C laughs] Can you believe that such a time has existed? What what an era in that point! Like, one time, we gave Sam 5 points, [C: Yeah.] and apparently, Samgirls were really mad at that. [C: Yeah.] So that's wonderful. [C: Wonderful!] My point here is we said, way back then, that flirting doesn't count. Well, it depends on the flirting.

C: Yeah, I don't think flirting counts, but yeah, I don't know. I just think that any flirting move that involves like [G: The office.] someone's name card at their waist, like, outside the door of like, a hospital room while they're working should just be toned down. But yeah.

G: Well, at least he doesn't try to hit her up again, just jacks off about it.

C: God. Why did they put that in? [G laughs]

G: What do you mean? Like, what do you mean? Is it a distasteful joke?

C: No, but it's like, 'cause it just doesn't really have a point to it. [G: Yeah.] It's not like later, they ask the kid, "And what did your parents tell you about jacking off?" [G laughs] 'Cause like, that wouldn't be appropriate. But, like, they did-

G: Yeah, it's for the comedy, it's for the LOLs. There's no nothing to, honestly.

C: Also, like, he didn't know when Sam was gonna get back. Do it in the bathroom, at least. I guess we don't know that he didn't do it in the bathroom [G: Well, we don't know.] but like, yeah. I don't know. I don't know.

G: Jacking off is fine! is my hot take. [both laugh] Even if it gives you hair on your palms.

C: I mean, it is fine. It's just an odd thing to put in for no reason.

G: It is an odd thing. [laughs] I'm just going to agree with everything you say and also disagree.

C: So after the flirting's over, he rejoins Sam. What Sam found out was that the Tooth Fairy that got this guy was 5'10, 350 pounds, had wings and a pink tutu, and got in without triggering any alarms. And it left 32 quarters underneath his pillow, one for each tooth. Slay! [G: That's pretty fun. That's pretty fun.] That's like, $8. And Dean says that he found out that there's some kids in the hospital with stomach ulcers from mixing pop rocks and coke, and then another guy's face "froze that way." And the way was like, a very silly face. Dean seems worried [overlapping] that it's gonna stick for him as well, yeah. Sam just doesn't really know how to put these together, and then Dean says that when he was a kid, he thought that sea monkeys were real. "I like, fully believed all the ads that they were like, basically people and shit." And Dean says, you know, like, maybe, like, the connection is that everything that's happened is a lie that kids believe. And Sam says, "Okay, so like, it's coming true. Whoever's doing this reshapes reality. Like, they have the power of a god, or a trickster," 'cause you know, he's on that Sabriel brain. [G, laughing: Yeah. So true. "Or maybe it's a kid. Who knows?"

-

G: We're back at the motel, and Sam is entering it with like, he's done research, whatever. See? They separated. [laughs] [C: Mm.] I'm going to be so annoying for the rest of this episode regarding that. Dean is eating a sandwich, again with the ham. And yeah, Sam was like, "Dude, really? Still with the ham?" And Dean goes, "We don't have a fridge!" At what point are we going to talk about that? We promised to talk about Sam's vegetarian situation.

C: He's not vegetarian yet.

G: Yeah. When it happens, when it happens, we promised to talk about it. With Dean, have we talked about it? Like, his relationship with food.

C: Yeah, we talked about it.

G: Okay, I mean, it's just, your typical talking point. [laughs] It's because there are stuff here in the podcast that-

G: I know it's a popular talking point in the fandom [C: Thing that people in the fandom talk about, but yeah.], but it does make me feel like, "Oh, well, let's just acknowledge it that that's something that happens, but let's not get into it, because all that's been said and done has been said and done." Although, do we have listeners that are not like, particularly in the fandom?

C: I'm sure we do.

G: Are you sure?

C: Yeah, some people came over from RubbishPod.

G: Yeah, if you if you are here and you're not in the fandom, why? and thank you. And if you're here from RubbishPod, hwy? [both] And thank you. [C: Yeah.] So Sam relays what he has found, which is that he put the incidents on a map, and they form a circle. And in the center of that circle is like, a house with a field. Why did he have to go out to do this?

C: Sam? [G: Yeah.] Well, he needed to get, like, a physical map of the town.

G: This is true. You're right! He could've just Google Maps-

C: I don't know if they had Google Maps yet.

G: Dean, as you said earlier, goes, "We're in the circle, aren't we? Because..." and then he raises his hand, and there's hair all over his palm because he jacked off!

-

G: They go to the farmhouse. There is truly godawful CGI in this scene. [C: Where?] Like, it looks so bad. The Impala, like, pulls up in front of a house, and the way it's shot is like, the house is so obviously- so obviously green screen. [C: Oh!] Did you not notice? It stuck out to me so bad. [C: No, I didn't.] And I was baffled, mortified, all the other adjectives about it.

C: I think I was still reeling from the the Dean masturbation joke. I was, you know, I was so emotionally distressed I didn't notice anything else. [laughs]

G: It is funny to me, because the whole time that they were walking towards it, I was just thinking, "How are they gonna cut away from this? How the fuck are they gonna cut away from this truly godawful scene?" And they did! Wonderful. Good for them. Yeah, they try to open the house, and Sam, like, picks the lock, but the door opens, and it's a little boy. Like, 9 years old is what they said, right?

C: How old is he supposed to be? Oh, is that what they said?

G: I think maybe 8 or something as such.

C: Who's telling their kids that jerking off makes hair grow on your palms when that kid is 8?

G: Oh, sorry. I watched a play earlier today, and the kid from that one was 8 years old. [laughs] This kid, I'm not sure. Probably 11. Probably older.

C: The conversation with Julia might say how long ago- Okay, he was born in 1998, the kid was, and this is too [both] 2009, so 11.

G: 11. Yeah. Just like-

C: Oh my god, just like Adam! [G: Just like Adam.] From Good Omens. I mean, there's a lot of, I think, Good Omens borrowing in this episode.

G: Oh, really? Can you name them?

C: No, I don't remember. [G laughs] I just remember having that thought.

G: So sad. You always need to bring your evidence. It's BABPod recordings. This is trial by fire.

C: That's true. It is.

G: He's a very- like, there is not an ounce of this kid that is not [laughs] aware of what's happening in his surroundings. Like, he's very like, "Okay, can I help you?" And Sam and Dean are like, "Hey, so what's your name?" And he's like, "Who wants to know? Can I see your ID?" And yeah. He's vigilant, is the term, about these things. [C: Yeah.] Which makes me wonder why. Like, is it, like, a social service thing? 'Cause he's  obviously left alone a lot.

C: Yeah, probably. He shouldn't be left alone that much, so it's to prevent Child Protective Services from taking him away. Yeah, probably his parents trained him to do that.

G: And Dean even goes, at some point, like, "Come on, you can trust us. We're the authorities." Very threatening. Yeah, they eventually go in. The kid is boiling some soup. And Sam goes, "What's that?" [laughs] And Jesse realizes, just like us, that this is a stupid as fuck question, and he goes, "It's soup." [both laugh] But he says, "It's called soup," [C laughs] which is even funnier. Yeah. And he says, "You heat it up, and then you eat it." And Sam's like, "Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. But like, I used to make my own dinner too, when I was a kid." Oh, he's mirroring! He said, "I'll be your mirror." Jesse says, "Well, I'm not a kid," which, you know, Sam is immediately like, "Yeah, yeah, yeah, no, I know, I know." But he introduces himself as Robert. [laughs] Very fun.

C: I'm surprised that Sam got Robert Plant. Wouldn't Dean want that one?

G: Well, Robert Plant is the main vocalist, so probably Dean would want that. But Jimmy Page is, I would say, has a better- to me, he's a cooler guy to me. [laughs] [C: Okay.] So, I don't know. [laughing] And I am the physical manifestation of Dean Winchester.

C: Yeah. Or this is part of the "We have to work as a team." Dean's like, "[dramatically] You know what, Sam? This time, you can be Robert Plant!" It's nice that Sam has decided to mirror it up here. Like, he seems almost caught in the nostalgia sauce when like, Jesse reminds him that he's not a kid. [G: Yeah.] It's been a while since he's thought about his childhood, I feel like, just because the present moment is so intense.

G: The last time- Well, I mean he did think about his childhood in '21. 4.21. [C: Mm. This is true.] That's the reason, I think.

C: Eh, been a bit, but yeah.

G: Okay. Well, when has Dean thought about his childhood? Have we considered?

C: Who cares? [both laugh]

G: I care. I GAF. The thing is, Sam, I think, likes to think about his childhood, and Dean does not. [C: Does he?] It's probably complicated and often painful, but he does do it often, and we see him do it often. And it is- I cannot imagine a situation where Dean would, in his head- Like, I mean, I understand that like, it's not like Sam was choosing to do what was happening in 4.21, like, he wasn't choosing who to talk to, who will manifest as him and talk to him. But like, the fact that for him, it was a kid. Like, I cannot imagine any situation where Dean would- that Supernatural will that have that happen to Dean Winchester. Do you understand what I mean? Yeah.

C: Yeah, I mean, it's 'cause Sam as a kid had hopes and dreams, so there's something there.

G: Yeah. Versus Dean, that like- I think those hopes and dreams, no matter how much, you know, broken dreams, are they bad or are they something else, just like Bruce Springsteen -it's still something to look back on. Versus Dean, that I think has less of that as a child, and perhaps had a very miserable childhood, and even more so because he didn't have aspirations such as that. And so doesn't look back on it, like, a lot, though. A lot of the looking back that Dean does is like, he was already a pretty hefty teenager. [laughs] Hefty is such a funny word!

C: Hefty? What do you mean by hefty?

G: Like, he was already a grown teenager.

C: He's old, yeah, in "After School Special."

G: Because like, for me, teenagers are like, I feel like 13 to 15 is like, young- or like, 13-14 is young teenager, and maybe 15-18 is, like, older teenager. And he was already an older teenager in "Bad Boys," which is like, the big Dean Winchester's childhood episode, and he was already one also in-

C: [laughing] Played by a 25-year-old.

G: Played by a 25-year-old high school special. "After School Special." And, I mean, the shtriga episode, he was a kid there, but that's not a good flashback. Like, that wasn't him looking back with fondness to something or whatever. It was being reminded to him because of a case that, like, I think- in no situation would he rather remember it, you know? So yeah, I think those differences in how Sam and Dean viewed their childhood are interesting to me, and also it's so fun to me that I still remember the shtriga episode so well because of the "God, did John like leave them for bait?" thing. Yeah. [laughing] I don't recall literally any other monster on Supernatural, I think. Except for that one.

While Sam is looking- while Sam is connecting and mirroring, Dean is looking at like, the pictures on the fridge, and he, again, he sees the man with the wings and the tutu, and he's like, "Did you draw this?" And Jesse says, "It's the Tooth Fairy!" And Dean is like, "Oh, okay, so this is what you think the Tooth Fairy looks like, huh?"

C: Oh, wait, he says his dad told him about the Tooth Fairy, and that's probably why I kept saying "dad." [laughs] I'm not misogynistic.

G: [laughs] You are practicing equality.

C: Yeah.

G: Dean, is like, "Huh, okay." And Jesse goes, "What? Didn't your dad tell you about the Tooth Fairy?"

And Dean is like, “Ha! My dad told me different stories,” which comes up later in a big way. In a way that [C: Yeah.] I don't understand at all. [C: Not at all.] But alright. They start doing this thing where Dean would ask something that happened to those people, and Jesse would say what happened, so like, “Oh, what happens when you mix pop rocks and coke?” “Oh, you go to the hospital.” “Itching powder?” “You scratch your brains out!” and then Dean shows the thing, the joy vibrator. Was it the joy-

C: [laughs] The joy buzzer?

G: [laughs] The joy buzzer. And Jesse’s like, “Oh, you shouldn't do that. It can electrocute you,” and Dean says, “No, actually it can't. It's just a toy. It's harmless. It doesn't have batteries, it can’t shock you, see?” And then he [C: Literally insane.] buzzes Sam, and Sam was, of course, shocked by this.

C: In terms of his emotions. [G: Yeah.] But not physically.

G: [laughs] Not physically. And Dean is like, “See? I told you!”

C: In fact, the point is that he wasn’t shocked physically. 

G: He wasn't physically shocked, but he had the shock, emotionally, of his life.

C: Of his life, yeah. And Dean presses it right to his chest, too. [G: Yeah, like, dude.] Bro, maybe do a finger, Sam can lose a finger if you're wrong. [G: Do a finger test for real.] You would murder him. I’m sure there’s a- do it to the fucking soup or something. But yeah, whatever.

G: Yeah. And yeah, as they're heading out, Sam is like, “Dude. What the hell?” Guess again. Dean’s like, “Well, I mean, I was right, though,” and he was.

C: Yeah. It’s fine when Sam does this, so I think for the sake of equality I need to be fine that Dean did this.

G: Yeah. #feminism.

C: [laughs] No, absolutely not. But yeah. 

G: We need to stop joking about feminism. [laughs]

C: Yeah, it is a thing that we actually care about for real.

G: Yeah. Yeah, so they discuss, “Oh, everything he believes comes true, so what are they supposed to do?” “We're out of our depth,” blah blah blah. They need to investigate some more.

C: I just can't believe they figured out what was going on, and they just left instead of sitting the kid down and then being like, “Can you give us a list of everything your parents told you? And we'll tell you the truth.” Currently, they just corrected him on one thing. The next person to mix pop rocks and Coke is gonna die.

-

C: Anyway, in the motel, Sam comes in. He's been looking through records. He was adopted, and there's no listed father. But his biological mother is named Julia Wright, and she lives on the other side of the state. So they go there, and her house is kind of rundown. There's a No Trespassing sign, and when they ring the doorbell, the woman, Julia, does not open the door. She just tells them to go away. When they say that they’re FBI, she tells them to put their badges in the slot in the door first. [G: Yeah.] So yeah, clearly, very scared about something. And then when she finally opens the door, they say they have some questions about her son.

G: When she opens her door, there's so many locks to it, you hear she's unlocking everything, and it's like, click, click, click, click, click, click, which was a fun thing to- it's fun, the way they showcase it.

C: She denies having a son. But Sam says some more details about Jesse, and she's like, “Yeah, okay, what's up?” And Sam asks, “We were just wondering. Was it a normal pregnancy? Was there anything weird?” And she immediately starts running away from them and freaking out, and they follow her inside. And she starts throwing salt at them, but nothing happens, and she goes, “You're not demons?” And Dean says, “How do you know about demons?” So we get the backstory, and it's- I'm very sorry to this woman that this happened. She was possessed by a demon when she was younger, I guess 11 years ago, 12 years ago, and during that time, she was aware of everything that happened as the demon murdered people. Sam's quick to reassure her, like, “That wasn't you,” but it was still a terrible time for her. During that time, she picked up some information about demons. She knew that salt would hurt them, all that. It was in her head for 9 months, so she was possessed during the whole pregnancy and the whole birth. It was just a horrible time. But the demon was really happy to use her body to give birth to a child, but for a brief second, she was able to take control and poured a bunch of road salt down her throat, and it caused the demon to leave. And it left her with this baby that she sort of wanted to kill, but she didn't. She put him up for adoption. And Dean asks, “Who’s the father?” And she says, “I was a virgin,” which I guess means that there was no other physical human body involved in Jesse's creation, like [G: Yeah. It's the demon.] the demon was just able to do something. Yeah. I don't know, they show flashbacks of the pregnancy, too. So it's very- I don't know. You see her scream. It's all very disturbing, I suppose. She asks after Jesse, “Is he human,” and Dean goes, like, “His name is Jesse. He lives in Alliance, Nebraska, and he’s a good kid.” And then Sam and Dean just leave without telling her about anti-possession tattoos. [G: Literally!] They could have drawn one on her with a marker. That would have saved the whole situation, I think. Or devil's traps, or anything like that. Especially later, when Cas tells them like, “Oh, the demons are gonna be after this kid,” someone should have called her and told her something.

C: Danica and I often talk about how, like, if some hunters, if their only job was instead just to like, graffiti-tag places with, like, devil's traps and like, try to get anti-possession tattoos trending on TikTok, like, that would probably do way better than literally anything Sam and Dean do solo.

-

C: Dean says that they need help, and when they return to the motel, Cas is there! [G: Ah!] They called him.

G: He's so cute, too! He's so cute. He's extra cute this episode.

C: Yeah, it's to make up for the fact that all he does is be an asshole.

G: He tries to kill a kid, yeah.

C: [laughing] I was just thinking about him blaming Sam for the apocalypse, but you're right. He also tried to kill a kid. [laughs]

G: It is so funny, like, the entire time he was talking to Sam, I was like, "Rich for the guy who let Sam out."

C: Yeah, who opened the door! Like, come on. I mean, this is just the whole like, "Oh my god, Dean, you made me lose all my powers, 'cause you made me help you!" [laughs] Like, this is just him blaming everybody else for choices that he made and wanted to make. Though he didn't want to make the Sam choice to let him out of the room. [G: Yeah.] Cas says that "It's lucky that you found the boy 'cause we have to kill him." And Dean's like, "Cas." And Cas says that, you know, this child who's half demon and half human, is way more powerful than either. "You know him as the Antichrist." And then, you know, he sits down on the whoopee cushion, and it's just not particularly funny, but Dean goes like, "Who put that there?" [G laughs]

G: And Cas goes, "That was not me."

C: Okay, so you think this is funny.

G: Well, I think it's- I think they're cute. Like, the three of them. It's Team Free Will! Oh my god! It's Team Free Will.

C: It's true. It is Team Free Will.

G: And Cas tries to kill a kid. #TeamFreeWill!

C: Does try to kill a kid.He used his free will to try to kill a kid. Good for him. [both laugh] Wasn't this the scene where like, fucking Misha Collins was like, "I don't think this is, like, befitting of the dignity of an angel. [G laughs] I don't wanna do it."

G: Is that true?

C: Did I make that up? Maybe I made it up.

G: I don't think that's true. Maybe you thought it. Maybe [laughing] you're the physical manifestation of Misha Collins.

C: No, don't you dare say that! [G laughs] Jesse is not, like, Lucifer's son. He's just demon spawn, but also one of the devil's greatest weapons in the war against Heaven. And the demons are looking for him. Oh, this is the part. Dean says they lost him "because," and Cas says, "Because of the child's power, it hides him from both angels and demons. For now." And Dean says, "So, he's got like, a forcefield around him," and no! Dean, suspicion slides off him like whatever it is water slides off of. Know your lines better, bro! Soon, he's gonna get more powerful and more powerful until the demons notice him and "Lucifer twists him to his purpose. And then, with a word, he will destroy the host of Heaven." Cas goes, "We cannot allow that to happen." I thought we didn't really like the angels that much. Or at least Dean doesn't. But I guess Cas is an angel.

G: Because the angels here is Michael. So if it's Michael vs Lucifer-

C: Then vote third party! [laughs] But yeah, what's up?

G: If Lucifer is superpowered, then he could just easily defeat Michael. [C: Yeah, that's true.] Which means the Apocalypse would start earlier or whatever. I'm not sure the logic of this.

C: Yeah, I'm not certain. And then [laughs] Sam says the funniest line in the entire episode, like, I had to pause because I was laughing too hard. He goes, "Wait," and he stands up, and he goes, [both] "We're the good guys. We don't just... kill children." [both laugh]

G: Iconic!

C: Ha! Hahaha! Hahaha! Incredibly funny behavior. "We're the good guys" is such a funny- I just cannot imagine a scenario where I would say, "We're the good guys," or think "We're the good guys." It's just- whatever. You could just say, like, "I'm against killing children." You don't have to be like, "It's against my image as a good guy to kill a child." [laughs] Yeah, "I don't want to get canceled on Twitter over killing a child!" And Cas turns to him with a glare. He says, "A year ago, you would have done whatever it took to win this war." like, drinking demon blood, personally, not even doing anything to anyone else about it, is equivalent to killing an 11-year-old! And the thing is like, Sam was like, "I think Dean was right. I'm gonna turn back," like, the moment that he had to drink blood out of, like, a conscious, like, adult woman. Like, he would not have killed a child a year ago. Yeah. But Sam apparently is like, "This is a correct-"

G: Fair comparison, yeah.

C: 'Cause he just goes, "Things change." And, you know, tension is crackling non-sexually, sadly, and Dean sort of steps forward-

G: You think this is nonsexual tension? I was like, "When are they gonna hatefuck?"

C: You think it's sexual? Maybe it is. Maybe it is.

G: Maybe that's what makes them good in bed. [laughs]

C: Maybe it is! So Dean steps forward, and he sort of puts himself between them, and he puts a hand on Sam's arm, which I guess is, like, a nice sort of like- I can't tell if it's like a- I think it is probably a "I'm on Sam's side here" sort of gesture. So that's helpful. That's a that's a good turn of events. And he says, like, "We're not going to kill him. But we can't leave him here, either, so we'll take him to Bobby's. He'll know what to do." Can't they call Bobby and ask him what to do-

G: Right now? Literally.

C: - if Bobby will know what to do? And Cas goes, "You'll kidnap him?" which, like, literally. Like, literally. Good point.

G: He's like, "I can accept murder during children, but I draw the line at kidnapping them." [laughs] [C: Exactly.] And he literally does! He explains his reasoning too.

C: Yeah, he does. Good for him. Oh, Cas! In like, less than 10 years, you're gonna be such a good dad to the Antichrist Part 2.

G: Yeah, that is something that I thought about a lot this episode. Like, Jack. Like, this is the precursor to Jack. This is before Jack.

C: I miss Jack. I look forward to meeting them.

G: I do. I do miss Jack.

C: Cas, who has previously been using he/him pronouns mostly for Jesse, like, switches to [G: It, yeah.] it/its like, so fast, which I guess is just, you know, him trying to [G: Dehumanize.] convince them and also convince himself, yeah. He goes, "What's going on this time is what happens when this thing is happy. You cannot imagine what it will do when it's angry." And then he goes back to "him" where he goes like, "How will you hold him? With a thought, he could be halfway around the world." Foreshadowing! Dean starts with "So we-" but then Sam interrupts, and he goes, "So we tell him the truth. [G: Agh!] You say Jesse is destined to go dark side. Fine." Yeah. "So if we lay it all out for him: what he is, the Apocalypse, everything, he might make the right choice." Oh, Sam! Sam!

G: The thing about Sam is he thinks this is what happened with him, and he made the wrong choice. [C: Yeah.] But like, not everything was laid out for him!

C: Yeah, exactly. Like, he was not given the information. He was given false information on purpose from like, Cas [G: Yeah.] as well as, like, Ruby, and the rest of the angels.

G: And he was on the lookout, and he still got tricked.

C: Aw, Sam! It's a nice moment. But then, see, the thing is like, right, like, we said the point of it is that Sam says "We give him all the information" because the point is that Sam wasn't given all the information, but then Cas does the false equivalency thing again, and they don't seem to question it. At no point do they, like, actually make the connection that I thought they were trying to make, which is that Sam was not given all the information. [laughs] It's confusing. I don't know what they're going for, exactly.

G: Yeah. Well, Cas is being a hater is what they're going for.

C: Cas being a hater. Cas goes, "You didn't." Which, again, not the same situation at all. And he goes, "And I can't take that chance."

G: It is fun!

C: And then Cas immediately disappears.

G: It is fun that Cas doesn't have any pretenses about mirrors. Like, he knows exactly what Sam is doing here, and he's just like, "You're projecting." And he does it- you know, like, he does it- We've talked about how he always brings up John when he's talking to Dean, and he's talking about, like, God because he's like, "And that's the mirror in this situation!" Like, he loves to connect the dots, and he loves to be explicit about it. Good for him.

C: Yeah. Yeah. He'd be great at making parallels gifsets on Tumblr.

G: Literally! He should make AMVs. [both laugh]

C: Yeah. Cas can drop by. I'll show him how to use Vegas Pro 14.

G: I'll show him how to use Inshot. [both laugh]

-

G: So we go to Julia. She's just about to enter her house. Like, she has unlocked the doors and stuff, when suddenly, the mailman is in front of her. And she got surprised a bit. But this is obviously a guy she trusts, so she's like, "Oh, sorry I'm having a jittery day and all that." And the mailman is like, "Oh, yeah, that'll happen if you talk to the Winchesters," and it's like, "Ooh, this is a demon." And it is. And the mailman is saying like, "We've been watching you. You gave away the kid. We don't know where the kid was. But now we do, because the Winchesters told you blah blah blah. So now let's go to your kid." And then the demon possesses her. And oh, by the way, it's made explicit that this is the demon that was possessing her before.

C: Yeah. Yeah. It's quite bad. Like, they they do do a lot of the sexual assault imagery in the form of the possession, like, you know, he calls her "sweetheart," and he possesses her by bringing their mouths really, really close, so that the demon smoke can go into her mouth. It- yeah. Very sorry that this happened to her. [G: Yeah.] And again, I think it's fine that they did this. I think it's like, an interesting concept, and I think it makes sense to connect it to sexual assault. It's just that the fact that after this happens, like, she never gets to be conscious and speaking again. Like, that is the issue.

G: Yeah, like, I think it's interesting. Really. I really do. But-

C: I think it's a good plot. It's just that-

G: They don't follow through.

C: - they discard her immediately. Like, the narrative does.

G: Yeah. I feel like that is something this episode highly lacks. Like, I feel like a lot of stuff just don't have any good conclusion. [C: Yeah.] Like, Jesse is a good concept. Julia, good concept. Like, pretty much every- like, the case is a good concept. It's just all the followthroughs are like, "Okay, where are we now?" Cas. Cas doesn't even have like a, "Now I realize" portion. He's just like, "Okay, that's it. He's in Australia."

C: [laughs] 'Cause he didn't realize. He was like, "There's nothing we can do about it. I'd still kill that kid if I could!"

G: Yeah, he's like, "Ugh, dammit! I wanted to kill that kid so bad!" That was his realization.

C: Exactly.

-

G: Now we are at Jesse's house, and his parents are here now, but they're upstairs, asleep, and he's downstairs getting a fucking cup of water. And as he's walking out, [laughs] Cas appears, and he has his hand tucked away behind him. [both laugh] [C: So funny.] And I was like, "That's so cute! That's so cute." And then we-

C: Oh, you didn't know it was 'cause there was a knife?

G: And then we go have a shot of his back, and it's because he's holding a knife, and I was like, "Slay! Good for you, Castiel." [C: Good for him.] So he's like, "Oh, don't worry. Don't be afraid. I won't hurt you." Liar! Or maybe- Also, this is Ruby's knife.

C: Yes, yes, 'cause the kid is half demon.

G: So he stole it- [C: Yeah, he stole it.] Earlier, we see it on Dean, and the reason why I say this is because this was before they entered Jesse's house the first time. 'Cause it was just- the shot was just their bodies, right? So like, they're walking and walking, and somebody pulls aside his jacket, and you see the knife slung around his waist, and I was like, "Oh, that's so cool! Sam's carrying the knife, Sam's carrying the knife!" And then we pan up, and it's not Sam, it's Dean, and I was like, "Oh, okay. [C: Aw!] That's so sad." [laughs] But it also does mean that Cas stole it from Dean specifically, which is pretty funny to me. [C: Mm.] Well, he should have stolen it from Sam. [C: Should have.] Just another thing that he will never tell Sam about forever and ever. [both laugh] Yeah, maybe this is why Sam and Cas were never endgame. This is just not something they can get past.

C: The knife stealing that didn't happen?

G: No, you know what? The knife stealing that did not happen. They can never get past it. But also, like, [laughs] letting Sam out of that fucking room. [C: Yeah. That's fair.] It was the first betrayal.

Jesse calls for his mom and dad, but Cas is like, "Well, they're sleeping, and they won't be waking up anytime soon." [both laughing] God! To be fair- [laughing]

C: I love this guy.

G: To be fair, Cas looks apologetic, and he does say, "I'm sorry." He says, "I'm so [both] sowwy!" Sowwy! And then he raises his knife, and then, just as he is about to stab, Sam and Dean enter. And they ask, "Okay, is there a guy here with a trenchcoat?" And Jesse just points down, and there's a guy in a trenchcoat that's an action figure! [C: Fuck yeah.] And it's like, they really stylize this to hell and back. Like, the trenchcoat is so fluffy.

C: It's billowing, yeah. The face doesn't really look like Cas, though.

G: Yeah, I'll accept it. It's cute.

C: God bless.

-

C: Okay, so they're chatting now. Jesse asks Dean, "Was he-" like, Cas- "Was he your friend?" And Dean goes [G, laughing: And Dean denies it.], "No! No!"

G: [laughing] Just like Jesus. Denied like Jesus for fucking real.

C: Jesse goes like, "How did I do that?" And Dean starts off- like, Dean's strategy is just lying his entire ass off. And I think in certain situations, it would work. But because this is the Sam mirror episode, where it's like, you do have to tell this kid the truth, it doesn't eventually work out. [G: Yeah.] But at the beginning, Jesse seems kind of taken in by this story, where Dean says that he's a superhero-

G: Just like the X-Men.

C: "And Sam and I work for a secret government agency, so we're gonna take you to a hidden base in South Dakota, where you'll be trained to fight evil." Just like the X-men.

G: And also, he even says, "Bobby is in a wheelchair."

C: Bobby's in a wheelchair just like- Dr. X?

G: Yeah. That's the reference, right? [C: Yeah.] Or is it Magneto? I know nothing about the X-men.

C: I don't know. I think Danica said it was Dr. X or something. I'm gonna look it up.

G: Well, aren't they gay and dating?

C: Who?

G: Magneto and Dr. X. Yes or no. Let's answer this once and for all.

C: Oh, this is so horrible. I looked up "Dr. X images," and it's just porn. [both laughing] I fully should have foreseen this. Oh, okay.

G: It's Professor X!

C: Yeah, he's in a wheelchair. Professor X. I see.

G: Professor X x Magneto. Let's look it up. Are they in love?

C: I feel like we would know.

G: No, I'm pretty sure they're gay.

C: Like, for real?

G: Yeah. Oh, they're like, old besties. [laughs]

C: So, basically the same thing.

G: Yeah, they're old friends, just like, When Harry Met Sally.

C: Harry and Sally.

G: Yeah, okay, they're gay. We have decided once and for all. [C laughs] Congratulations to all Magneto x Professor X shippers.

C: And Dean says, "You'll be a hero. You'll save lives. You'll get the girl. Sounds like fun, right?" Dean Winchester-

G: Will say anything.

C: - What do you think that people want? I mean, maybe Jesse does want to get the girl, but I would not assume that that was a high priority for this 11-year-old who lives alone and all we know about him is that he thinks that itching powder will make you scratch your brains out. Yeah, Jesse, you know, again, seems to be taken in by this, but then suddenly, the demon who's possessing Julia, his birth mother, comes in.

G: Smashes open the door.

C: Flings Dean against the wall, yeah, flings Sam against the wall, says, "They're lying to you." and also tells Sam that like, under orders, it can't hurt him, but hurting Dean is encouraged. Slay. And Jesse yells, "Leave him alone!" The demon starts talking to him, saying that he has his father's eyes. Untrue. They're not completely black. [laughs] I don't know what you're talking about. The demon says, "I'm your mother." and "You're half human, half one of us." And Dean, who has completely given up the superhero gig, goes, "She means demons, Jesse!" The demon starts saying that the people who are Jesse's parents lied to him, and also probably don't love him because they leave him alone all day.

G: I mean, [laughs] they really do leave him alone all day.

C: Yeah, I wish- If we just had seen more interactions, I feel like we'd get a better handle on what kind of a parent-child relationship this is, and that would make more sense for Jesse's emotional journey, but we do not. [G: Yeah.] Alas. The demon says like, you know, "They lied about the Tooth Fairy and how your toys could hurt you and a bunch of other things. Everyone has lied to you, including Sam and Dean. They're not FBI agents, and you're not a superhero. Meanwhile you're powerful, and you can do anything you want. Everyone else treated you like a child, and they didn't trust you. But like, aren't you angry about that?"And Jesse causes, like, the fire in the fireplace to flare up, and the house is shaking. The demon says that Jesse should come with them and just start over in a world without lies. Which- isn't that something Jack does? [C: Yes.] Doesn't he make it so that no one can lie?

G: Exactly, yeah. [C: Yeah, yeah, I remember I read that.] He makes that a reality.

C: Yeah, so this really is the precursor to Jack.

G: God, and it's gonna be Season 13! It's gonna be so long!

C: So far in the future. The whole time, Dean's been yelling, like, "Hey, don't listen to her! Don't listen to her." And, you know, it's not working. But then, finally, Sam speaks, 'cause, again this is his mirror, and he goes, "She's right. We lied to you. But I'll tell you the truth. I just want to- tell-" [G laughs] And he's like, starting to get strangled by the demon. [G: Yeah.] But Jesse goes, [both] "Stop it. I want to hear what he has to say." Sam stands up, and he's very lovely. He apologizes for lying, he introduces himself properly. He says, "We hunt monsters," and then the demon just says, "Except when you are the monster, right, Sammy?" Completely unnecessary. Also, Dean did hunt him, honestly.

G: Yeah, what should be said here was, "Yeah. And that's why you're looking for this kid."

C: Yeah, like, "So you're gonna- So that's why you're gonna kill Jesse! Jesse, don't listen to him! He's gonna kill you!" Like, that's the obvious thing to say.

G: But they DGAF about that. I don't know. Some of the- again, some of the conclusions of this episode are mind-boggling.

C: Very strange, I agree. But Sam ignores the demon, and he says, "And that woman right there, her name is Julia, and she's your mother. But the thing inside of her is a demon." And, you know, the demon's still like, "He's not telling the truth. Don't listen to him." but Jesse forces the demon to sit down. And then Sam explains that there's a war between angels and demons, and Jesse is a part of it, and Jesse goes, "I'm just a kid."

G: Aw.

C: Aw. Were there times when you were a kid that you thought the sentence, "I'm just a kid," though? I feel like it's something that adults put on kids.

G: Yeah. Yes.

C: You have thought the sentence, "I'm just a kid?"

G: I think mostly when people say "That's just a kid" about other kids. And I'm like, "Well, me too!" So I don't know if this is an appropriate thing to think for Jesse, but it it seems to be something that has been on his head, like, being a kid and all that [C: Yeah, that's true.] because it was brought up earlier.

C: 'Cause, yeah, earlier, there was the whole like, "I'm not a kid" when Sam calls him a kid, and then the demon recently was like, "Everyone treated you like a kid." So yeah, I guess he has been chewing on that for a while, and he has landed on, "I am just a kid." Sam says, "You can go with her if you want. I can't stop you. No one can. But if you do, millions of people will die." And yeah, this is him just giving him the information and hoping that he'll make the right choice. It's nice. If this was an adult, they would have killed him by now, [G: Definitely.] but like, it is good to have different standards for adults and kids, I think. I just think that their standards for adults should be a little laxer as well. Jesse goes, "She said I was half-demon. Is that true?" And Supernatural, which cannot drop its biological determinism [laughs] for a single second, goes, "Yes, but you're half-human, too." Demons are also human. Like, they literally- [G: Yeah.] if we're gonna play on Supernatural's playing ground, demons were also human. I don't- whatever. It's fine. And also, obviously, just the biological determinism in general is dumb as fuck. Like, the only thing that the demon, like, "genetics" or whatever gave him was powers. It doesn't mean that you're an asshole automatically. [G: Yeah.] All of this was, like, created through trauma. He tells Jesse, like, "You can do the right thing, and you've got choices. But if you make the wrong ones, it will haunt you for the rest of your life." And Jesse goes, "You're trying to mirror me, aren't you?" [G, laughing: Yes. For real!] He goes, "Why are you telling me this?" And Sam says, "Yes, I'm trying to mirror you." 'cause he says, "Because I have to believe someone can make the right choice, even if I couldn't." You know what? Good for him. [G laughs] If him doing this is, like, helpful to Jesse, then there we go. [G: There we go!] Good for him. And Jesse thinks for a second, and then he demands that the demon possessing his birth mother gets out of her, and it does. And then Jesse is just standing there, and Dean goes like, "How'd you do that?" Jesse said, "I just did it." Dean goes, "Kid, you're awesome." He should have said, "Little boy? [both] Little boy?" [laughs] And yeah, Julia is passed out for the rest of the episode, as I've complained about multiple times, but I'll complain about it again. [G: Yeah.] What the fuck?

G: Yeah. Like, all we get from her is like, Jesse asking, "Is she gonna be all right?" And Dean being like, "Eventually." Which, like, let her speak for herself! [C: Yeah.] Give her a fucking tattoo!

C: Yeah. For real. Also, when Jesse leaves, is she gonna wake up in the house and the parents are gonna wake up with a note on Jesse's bed saying, like, "I left. Sorry." and there's this woman they've never met before- they're gonna think-

G: Maybe Castiel magicked her.

C: Yeah, maybe. I hope so. 'Cause they're gonna think that she killed him or some shit [G: Yeah.] when they find out how that its birth mother. They'll be like, "You kidnapped him, or you came back here to like, kill him or do something to him," and, like, she's gonna be miserable.

G: Dean is now holding [laughs] the Cas action figure. And yeah, he goes, to Jesse, “Well, the truth is, he's kind of a buddy of mine. Is there any way you could turn him back?” And Jesse just goes, “He tried to kill me.” And Dean [C: Like, for real.] goes, “Right. Well, he's a good guy. He was confused.” [both laughing] He literally says “He's just a little guy! He's a little guy!”

C: It’s his birthday, he’s just a little birthday boy!

G: Yeah, maybe this is Dean’s blorbo from his action figures set. What's that? "Well, I forgive him because he has anxiety and his dick is 10 inches long." So true. [C: Yeah, "and throbbing, and I want him to fuck me." Yeah.] Yeah. But only after Season 5. [laughs]

C: What's- Oh, yeah, because that's when Jimmy dies, yeah.

G: [laughs] Yeah, And then Dean finally gives up when Jesse says nothing. And he’s like, “Okay, well, it's been a long night. We'll talk about it next time.” [laughs] [C: Good.] It’s so funny! That is a buddy of his. Jesse asks, “What do we do now?” And Sam and Dean are saying, like, “We will get you somewhere safe.” Dean says, “You'll be handy in a fight, kid.” And Jesse goes, “What if I don't want to fight?” And Sam says, “Well, you're so powerful, and you're more powerful than anything we've ever seen. That makes you-” And Jesse goes, “I'm gonna really push the Sam mirroring this episode,” [C laughing] and he goes, “A freak?” And Sam’s like, “Well, to some people, but not to us. See, we're kind of freaks ourselves.” And then we see a shot of-

C: Don’t you dare- Dean cannot reclaim! [G laughs] Dean cannot reclaim. You do not get to give Dean the honorary freak card. Dean is not a freak. He would not self-identify as a freak, [G laughing] and he doesn't deserve to have the title "freak," given how he treats people that he views as freaks, and how he treated you when he viewed you as a freak. [G: Literally.] Wrong! Sam's allowed to be a freak, Dean is not. He is not part of this shit. Get him out of here.

G: Jesse is finally realizing the gravity of the situation, that he'll have to leave his family behind. And he says, “I don't want to,” but Sam says, “You’re gonna be putting them in danger, so.” And Dean mentions John, and he says, “Our dad, he would take us with him wherever he went, and he's dead now. A demon killed him.” What is [laughs] the throughline here?

C: 'Cause Jesse wants to take his parents with him?

G: I know, but the way this analogy is happening [C: Oh yeah, what’s the logic?] like, what is the logic behind it? 

C: Yeah, 'cause Sam and Dean are the parents in this situation, [G: Yeah.] the people who are being brought along. So it's like, “Jesse, you'll die if you bring your parents with you”? What is this? [G: Yeah, but whatever.] Yeah, I think it's just being with your family and a group like that leaves any of you vulnerable, or whatever.

G: Yeah. But Jesse asks, “What should I do?” And Sam says, “We can't tell you. It's your choice. It's not fair. I know.” Jesse goes, “Well, I'm going to say goodbye to my parents.” So he goes.

C: Yeah. And not to Julia, not once.

G: He looks at his parents’ bed, and then he goes to his room, and then [laughs] he goes to fucking Australia. [both laughing]

C: He said, “I want to be Chase from House sooo bad.”

G: He literally said, “I'm gonna be Jesse Spencer.” Maybe this is Jesse Spencer's origin story!

C: Yeah, I would believe that Jesse's parents are- what? Like, far-right politicians? [G: Yeah.] Given all the bullshit they've been spouting at him, yeah.

G: Yeah, Sam is like, “Oh, he's been there so long. Let's go check on him.” [C: Yeah. Maybe he’s fireproof.] [both laugh] And they do. They enter the room, and the kid is gone, and Cas, who is now back to being not an action figure, goes, “He's gone.” Cas says he doesn't know where he is, he just vanished, and he put everyone in town who was still alive back together. And they notice this sign- I mean, they notice the note on the bed, which says, “I have to leave to keep my parents safe. Sowwy.” [laughs] And Cas says, “Well, we can't find him anymore, because he doesn't want to be found, so therefore we can’t.” They're driving out now, and Sam and Dean are having a conversation where Dean asks- [C: Which is just a worse version of the 1.18 conversation.] Yeah, I don't even know- Yeah. But Dean goes, “You think Jesse’s gonna be okay?” And Sam’s like, “Well, I hope so.” And Dean says, “We destroyed that kid's life by telling him the truth.”

C: Like, no, the lying was actually what caused all the problems. And also, you didn’t tell him the truth for most of it, it was the demon.

G: No, you know what this is a parallel to? It was telling Sam the truth about having monsters.

C: Yeah, which is also what 1.18 was sort of about.

G: Yeah. So, I don't know. Like, I see the throughline now that I think about it. Here's the conclusion Dean gets, 'cause Sam says, “We didn't have a choice, Dean,” and Dean says, “Yeah, but I'm starting to see why parents lie to their kids. You want them to believe that the worst thing out there is mixing pop rocks and coke, protect them from the real evil. [C: That doesn’t make any sense as a sentence.] You want them going to bed feeling safe. If that means lying to them, so be it. The more I think about it, the more I wish that Dad had lied to us.” And Sam goes, “Yeah, me, too.” And I don't know. It's just- is this the conclusion to the episode? It's very-

C: We need to know more about his parents- about Jesse’s parents, to know anything. It's good to say that, to lie about that shit? It's not, though! It literally caused people to die. And we have no proof that it's "hiding him from the real evil" or whatever.

G: Yeah, like, maybe he also knows about werewolves. Who fucking knows? [C: Yeah.] But the thing here- This is a fine conversation to have, in this episode even. [C: For this episode? Really?] But for the last scene of the episode? [C: Yeah.] This could be a conversation they maybe have-

C: This is an episode about telling the truth, and how lying caused the problems.

G: This could be something that's in the middle of the episode, you know, [C: Yes.] as they're processing it, they have this conversation, and it could be meaningful. It's just because it's at the very end. [C: Right.] It has no music. [C: So this is the takeaway.] It has no music. It continues on to the credits, no music, and it's like, they're trying to do something here, and it just doesn't work [C: It does not.] because this is not the place or time in the episode anymore to be having this discussion. [C: Right.] So, yeah.

-

G: Well, what did we think about this episode?

C: I think it was pretty good. [G: I think it was good.] It just didn't wrap things up very nicely. [G: Very niceys, yeah.] It failed at all that.

G: Failed at that. But otherwise, I think it's a fun episode. Or at least it was characteristic of what makes Supernatural enjoyable to watch on an episode-to-episode basis. Well, Best Line/Worst Line.

C: The line where Sam says, “So we tell him the truth," and all of that, and yeah, "If we lay it all out for him, he might make the right choice.” It's nice. Oh, Sam.

G: Well, I would put that also, but because you already put it, I'll just say, I like the "buddy of mine." “He's kind of a buddy of mine.” [C: That’s cute, yeah.] I think it's cute. I think it is cute. The worst line, I think the “Eventually.” When Jesse asked, “Is she gonna be okay?” and Dean says, “Eventually.” I hated that. 

C: Oh, yeah. Yeah. And I think it is supposed to be a thing where Dean automatically wanted to say “Sure, yes.” But then he's like, “I'm gonna tell the truth and say 'eventually' instead,” but it's like, this should not be about how Dean deciding to tell the truth to Jesse. This is about Julia! but it's not, 'cause Daniel Loflin and Andrew Dabb just hate women so much. [G: Yeah.] Yeah, I agree with that one. That is my main issue with the eppysode.

G: Okay, well, what's our spreadsheets? Spread those sheets.

C: I feel like dropping the ball on Julia deserves like, a point. Like, not that many 'cause I don't think it's intrinsic. It's just the- 

G: I think it's 2. I think it's intermingling with- between intrinsic and not. [C: Yeah, yeah.] Racism is 0. [C: Yes.] And homophobia, how would you like to read this? 

C: The Tooth Fairy, I think, counts as a mix of transmisogyny and homophobia. I think if we had more clarity on exactly what was up, we would be able to better classify it.

G: Yeah. I think this kind of falls under my “Just because they have a character who is queer or presents as queer doesn't make it homophobic,” but I think I can safely say that this is supposed to be a funny thing.

C: I think we’re supposed to think that this character is so scary and weird [G: Yeah.] And it adds to the scariness and weirdness [G: Because it's weird, yeah.] because it’s a man wearing a tutu. A 1 makes sense. Great.

G: So how about our IMDb? Or IMDb guesses?

C: I need to not do such a bad job this time. This is a case of- “Fallen Idols” was low, but partly because I hated Paris Hilton. I think it's pretty good, and I feel like the concept would be interesting to people, but they might also find the Sam mirror stuff irritating because a lot of people don't like Sam right now. So I'm gonna put it below “Free to be You and Me.”

G: People do? I thought it was just me!

C: Okay, maybe just that one person.

G: [laughing] It was just me and that one IMDb reviewer.

C: Yeah. So okay, I'm gonna go 0.1 below “Free to be You and Me.” I'm gonna go with an 8.4.

G: I'm also actually going to go with an 8.4. But should I change it for some variety?

C: No, we can do the same thing as long as [G: Okay.] as long as you were thinking it beforehand. Yeah, it doesn't do anything for our competition, though.

G: Yeah, I'm still winning, I think.

C: Oh, definitely, I think.

G: Okay, let's see. Ha! It's an 8.5. We're both near.

C: Okay, okay. So I benchmarked it alright. That's good to know.

G: Yeah, people wish they revisited the concept later.

C: Yeah, 'cause it seems like Jesse could come back, they could run into him again.

G: Yeah, we never see Jesse again after all these years.

C: Or if there were more Antichrists created or something? Yeah. 

G: Yeah. This one says that “the conversations with the kid were boring and a little cringey.” We have a Sam mirror hater in the house.

C: Yeah, they don't understand.

G: This one doesn't have many reviews.

C: Yeah. Yeah, no one’s saying shit.

G: To be fair, prior to this we had “Fallen Idols,” and prior to this we had “The End,” and prior to this we had “Free to be You and Me,” so you understand that those ones are going to be review-heavy, and this one probably isn’t. 

C: This one says that “Cas is obviously confused, as Dean puts it. He is alone now, with no orders to guide him, and he must figure out how to manage on his own. But he's stumbling along the way” is how they characterize his decision to kill that kid. [G: Yeah.] I think Cas just really just did want to kill that kid. [laughs] I don't know if he was stumbling. I think he’s just a guy who wants to kill that kid.

G: Perhaps. I think Cas may just want to kill a kid. Any kid, really.

C: Yeah. Oh, and they're congratulating the actress for Julia for doing a really good job playing both the demon and Julia. That's true. I didn't even think about it as they're the same actors. They were very good.

G: There are performances that are very good on Supernatural in terms of possession, where I'm just like, “Oh, that's just a different actor.” [C: Yeah.] It's literally not. But this is one of them. Yeah, it was really good.

C: Yeah, no, that was good.

G: Yeah, so I think that’s it for this episode of Busty Asian Beauties. Next week, we will be discussing Season 5, Episode 7: "The Curious Case of Dean Winchester." Leave us a rating or a review wherever you get your podcasts.

C: Follow us on social media! We are on Tumblr at bustyasianbeautiespod.tumblr.com. Our official tag is #BABPod, B-A-B-POD. Thanks to everyone who's donated to our Ko-Fi at ko-fi.com/bustyasianbeautiespod, which is where our outtakes live, and check out our merch at babpod.redbubble.com.

G: You can email us any feedback, comments, or inquiries at bustyasianbeautiespod@gmail.com. See you guys next time! [both] Bye!

[guitar music]

[idontwanttowhy]

King the Land (2023)

Stooopid--ly charming...at first. Then boring.

Synopsis: Heir to luxury hotel conglomerate The King Group, Goo Won had been avoiding involvement in the company for as long as he could. But, inheritance woes bring him back to King Hotel as the Head General Manager, where he meets the smiley hotelier Cheon Sa-Rang. Of course, childhood trauma causes Won to hate Sa-Rang's smile, and the two quickly dislike each other but are forced to work closely together on multiple occasions. The two navigate the hotel business, with Sa-Rang working her way up the hotel ladder and Won fighting to change the conglomerate's status quo.

AC Overall: 7/10

Solid enemies-to-lovers with lots of flirting, and commentary on service work and conglomerates. Won starts as a childish, clueless chaebol who begins to care about plebeian life after unwittingly falling for his cheerful and sincere employee, Sa-Rang. Together they try their best to change the way things are done at the hotel and conglomerate as a whole, contending with many obstacles on the way.

I enjoyed the first half of the show, because everything was very silly and unserious. But at some indefinite point I realized I was--dare I say--bored. At face value I enjoyed the plot of going against the norm and actually having empathy for service workers, but someone dropped the ball somewhere and I lost interest. This drama is a decent watch though, especially for a chaebol ML and poor FL. There was actually growth outside of the relationship; it's clear that Won's affection developed not just for Sa-Rang, but for all his employees too: empathy and compassion for all!

AC Review, with spoilers:

I appreciated a few aspects of this drama: the relationships the characters had with others (Sa-Rang and her two friends, and Won and his secretary), and the commentary on service work and capitalistic work culture more generally. The flight attendant friend Oh Pyung-Hwa struggled with not getting the typical promotion expected despite not truly wanting it. The show hinted at the brown nosing she "should have done" to get the promotion, and Pyung-Hwa mused on not wanting the promotion in the first place--just being pressured to move up the ladder. She had also been scammed into a marriage and divorce that ruined her social reputation, making her even less desirable. The duty-free shop owner Kang Da-Eul also struggled with overworking herself to reach target sales...and then, of course, the incentive was a "trip to South Asia"--really a Thai restaurant in Seoul--good old work-hard-and-you-may-or-may-not-actually-be-compensated-for-that-work capitalism. So in an effort to actually reward the conglomerate's hard workers, secretary Noh Sang-Sik steps up and with the approval of Won, takes everyone on a trip to Thailand! Sang-Sik's energy was everything in this show; he was hilarious as the trip lead and pretending to be head manager, with his customized t-shirts--I'd love to go on a trip with him. He's an aspirational trip planner, like me!

That being said, I couldn't help but want to do something else while watching during the slower bits, which were almost entire episodes by the last third of the show. I didn't get as engrossed in the general going-ons as the soundtrack and editing called for. Waaay to many slow-mos! (I did some online shopping, laundry, drafted reviews, etc. all while watching...yikes). I vaguely remembered it was decent fun at first, and that memory (and random silly moments) was the only reason I finished it.

P.S.: Anupam Tripathi (Ali Abdul in Squid Game) made an appearance and brought some life to the show! (though his portrayal as a rich womanizing wealthy Arab investor was controversial...)

[phoebenpiperx]

Third Second Time's a Charm (new chapter posted)

a 911 Lone Star Tarlos fic

Fic Summary: Carlos has to ask Iris to be his best man...again. And Iris is happy to add her commentary to the happy day.

read the first chapters on ao3 here

Chapter 7 Summary: Carlos is making sure everything is ready for the ceremony, but Iris keeps comparing it to their own.

...

Carlos should’ve known spending today with Iris was a bad idea.

But he’d had so much fun, reminiscing with her about the good ole days...

back when they’d been best friends...

back before they’d screwed up everything by getting married just to please his parents.

Though that was all in the past. This time he was marrying for love.

Which was why he was now regretting the relaxing day he’d just spent because now there was so little time left for all the arrangements.

Though TK had been true to his word and had taken care of almost everything, with the help of their family and friends.

But that didn’t mean Carlos didn’t feel the need to reexamine absolutely everything himself just to make sure it was all ready.

Yes, he was the first to admit he was a control freak!

However, he was secure in the knowledge that TK loved him anyway...

and wouldn’t be offended that he now needed to personally triple-check every last detail.

Though it wasn’t exactly easy with Iris by his side, commenting on everything.

And her comments had a distinct theme to them.

“The flower arrangements at our wedding were far more symmetrical.”

“It’s a good thing the weather is cooperating today. Do you remember how it rained the day of our wedding?”

“I’m so glad I don’t have to wear a dress this time—do you have any idea how uncomfortable that corset was?”

Carlos knew Iris didn’t mean to be so...Iris about the whole thing.

Of course, anyone with a modicum of social skills would know it was gauche to bring up the groom’s previous wedding while actively preparing for his next, but tact had never been Iris’s strength, even before her schizophrenia. So despite Andrea politely pointing out that Iris shouldn’t make such comparisons, Iris had continued.

And, to be honest, Carlos didn’t mind. Because yes, today was stirring up a lot of memories for Carlos himself, so it was actually refreshing to have Iris openly talking about it.

Since she, more than anyone, knew what a mistake their “marriage” had been.

Convinced the dining set-up was taken care of for now, Carlos headed towards the seating area where the actual ceremony would take place. He heard Iris following behind, sniffing loudly before commenting, “At least this wedding smells better than ours.”

Carlos took a deep breath through his own nose, smiling to himself as he commented, “Yeah, Owen really knew what he was talking about with this caterer—doesn’t that enchilada casserole smell amazing?” It was hard to believe it was vegetarian!

Almost as hard to believe as the flavorful cake actually being gluten-free, sugar-free, and dairy-free!

Iris, however, shook her head. “I wasn’t talking about the food. I meant the smell of the ceremony...or, should I say, the lack of it?”

Having just knelt down to straighten the fabric aisleway that he and TK would soon be walking down, Carlos paused and stared blankly up at the girl. “What do you mean?”

“I mean, at least you and TK won’t have the smell of incense in your noses for days afterwards like we did.”

For the first time since they’d arrived at the venue, Iris’s words hit like a punch to the gut. While Carlos hadn’t minded the comparisons—and was almost enjoying the walk down memory lane—this particular detail flooded him with overwhelming guilt.

Because in his heart he still wished that he and TK could be getting married in a church the way he and Iris had.

For exactly the reason Iris was now expressing.

“Remember when we took that pre-wedding counseling with Father Morton?” she went on, obviously not sensing Carlos’s distress. “Or should I say Father Moron, since any fool could’ve seen we were getting married for all the wrong reasons? Anyway, I remember him telling us how the rite of marriage is not just between two individuals but also God's presence; how it’s a prayer, so that’s why it’s performed inside the church.”

How could Carlos forget? He’d been agonizing over that very fact over and over, ever since TK had proposed. While Pope Francis seemed open to at least consider the blessing of same-sex unions, Carlos knew the church wasn’t quite there yet.

Which meant he and TK could not get married in one.

So despite how beautiful this venue was, regardless of how lovely their ceremony was going to be, it pained Carlos not to be doing this wedding the “correct” way, in a church, in God’s presence.

And Carlos wished Iris would shut up and move on from this particular topic.

But Iris had never been good with social cues, and she blithely went on.

“Father Morton was absolutely right about God’s presence but completely wrong about the rest.”

That wasn’t what Carlos had expected her to say. “What do you mean?”

Iris looked him directly in the eyes, explaining matter-of-factly, “God is present where love is present, so obviously he’s way more likely to be here today, at this venue, than at our church wedding.”

It was exactly what Carlos had needed to hear: that even without the Nuptial blessing, without a priest standing at the front of the church, asking God to specifically watch over him and TK, God would still be here today, basking in the warm glow of their love for each other.

Carlos immediately rushed over to Iris and threw his arms around her.

“Thank you,” he mumbled into her hair as he held her tight, so grateful that she, too, would be here at his side today.

“Am I...interrupting?”

At the sound of Owen’s voice, Carlos let go of Iris and quickly wiped away the tear that had welled in the corner of his eye.

“No, sir. We were just...”

He wasn’t sure what to say. He was worried that Owen might take it wrong if Carlos admitted that they’d been discussing his first wedding.

But Iris matter-of-factly finished for him, “Discussing the wedding presence.”

“Already taken care of,” Owen said with a smug smile. “We started a table for the presents over here. Let me show you.”

As they turned to follow Carlos’s future father-in-law back towards the reception area, Iris turned and gave Carlos her own smug smile, her eyes twinkling merrily.

She had clearly used that phrasing on purpose, knowing Owen would misunderstand.

And this was why Carlos loved her.

Not like he loved TK, of course.

But more like a third sister.

Because he knew he could count on her to look after him, even when he didn’t think he needed looking after.

Just like he could count on God.

Which was why Carlos was overjoyed that both would be present at his wedding today!

...

find the entire fic (so far) on ao3 here

[snowflake-of-destruction]

I absolutely love Helluva Boss and will absolutely take a chance to ramble about that too at first provocation. 

Like I said, Velvette’s annoyance and the boytoy comment are completely valid reasons to think she and Val don’t get along as well. Until season two (hopefully) shows more interaction between The Vees, it’s all just open to interpretation.You make a good point too about Velvette presumably needing Val for the potions and that advertisement, by its nature of being posed, doesn’t really show anything.In the end, you can just read or not read into whatever you want. The messages though! I’m glad I won you over, because we see Val short tempered with just about everyone and Velvette has no problem with showing it very clearly when she doesn’t want to put up with someone, and so the hearts and only friendliness for each other actually does seem to say something.

….Though now you have me thinking about Val and Velvette who don’t get along, pretending to be nothing but hearts and praise in messages because they know Vox is spying on their phones and reading their messages and they don’t want to be lectured again).

Are the Vees in a poly relationship? Isn’t that the prize winning question. My heart says yes, I like the idea, but I don’t think canon points either way what Velvette’s attitude beyond business partnership and general positive feelings. 

It is possible that the Vees existed before Velvette, but she  joined long enough ago that it is dismissed that she wasn’t always a part I guess, but we see a lot of the overlords stuck in the way things have always been done or the own time when they died even if they make some allowances for change and Velvette seems so much more newly dead than Valentino (1970s) that I assumed that Vox and Val had decades without her in the picture and she would be seen as “new” for a longer time than would be reasonable if we weren’t talking about near immortals. Though I guess if her thing was cell phones (first ones in the 80s)  like you said and not social media like I assumed (early 2000s at the earliest and I usually think of her as even newer), she could be older. Plus, technically, we don’t even know if she brought either to hell. Technically she is the fashion overlord….and even that may be a fan assigned title. I don’t know.

Everything you said sounds reasonable and realistic too. 

I’m glad I was able to point out something new with the (possible) Alastor wing of the tower. I would guess he said no because he didn’t agree with their tactics or he wanted to make sure that when he took over hell it was all on his own and not as part of a team (Jokes on him, ended up on the hotel team, Alastor Altruist) 

I feel like they asked Alastor because Vox wanted it. Like you pointed out, the other two don’t seem bothered by Alastor either way. As Valentino put it  to Vox, ‘Killing Alastor is your kink” and I would think that wanting Alastor on the team was mostly Vox too.

The “you”  you stressed is super interesting to me because it’s “us” when “He owes US much more than money” (what does that mean??) and then you with “almost beat YOU last time” (Why was Vox fighting alone if it was “us” already? And was this right before the seven year absence or longer back?)

Val was involved just enough to add a little commentary on Vox's drawing making fun of Alastor. No more

I think if Vox had declared war on Alastor it would have been gossip amongst the overlords. Zestial brings up rumors that Alastor was killed by angels/exterminators but you would think that if Vox and Alastor were publicly beefing before Alastor went missing that Vox making Alastor disappear would have been a rumor too (and that Angel, for all the time he spends with the Vees, wouldn’t have had to ask who Alastor was/would have recognized him if he was “the enemy”)

I think Vox may have attacked him privately though. Teleported through electronics to surprise him with a sneak attack? And that’s how Alastor knew to crush the watch in episode 2 of the show, because it had happened before? That would also explain why it was just a “you” and not an “us” fighting. 

Vox so caught up in his hate boner that he teleported without backup.

I am really curious how the V’s came to existence. Like, was it a duo and then a trio? Or did they meet at a gathering and just decided to team up?

I couldn’t find when Velvette died on the wiki, but Val died in the 1970s and Vox in the 1950s. Since Velvette is mostly involved with social media and phones, I would like to think that she died after Val. From that point of view, it would be most likely that Val and Vox first teamed up. (Maybe they fucked first, maybe the business was first, who knows)

Then, Vox asked Alastor (died in 1933) to join them, which wasn’t a completely strange choice, because the radio and tv are connected. But he said no. Then Velvette came to hell, and I would almost like to say that she introduced phones but I can’t know that for sure. But anyway, phones and tv’s are also similar, so Vox asked her to join.

And Velvette accepted because it was a helluva offer. That would also explain why Val en Velvette don’t seem to like each other that much.