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iclaimedtobethebetterbard · 4 years ago

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one chance to change your fate - chapter 2

Fandom: Sanders Sides Characters: All the sides, character!Thomas, Nico Flores, Dragon Witch (villain) Rating: Teen & up (see Warnings) Relationships: Loceit, eventual Dukexiety, Royality, background Karrot Kings Warnings: Language, Remus being Remus, brief discussion of a stranger accidentally misgendering someone Word count: 5382 Notes: a big big thank you to my awesome beta @yougoodfahm!

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Chapter 2

The next two weeks were a bustle of preparations. Announcements had to be made. Invitations had to be sent. Rules and regulations around entry into the competition had to be drawn up—the twins were at least able to insist that women could not compete for their hands and that contestants had to be under 25, a small win that Logan knew tasted bitter in their mouths. Messengers had to be sent to every major city in the kingdom and the nearest five other kingdoms to deliver the invitations and announcements. Places for contestants to stay had to be prepared; an entire wing of the castle was cleared out and set aside. Space for the tasks of the competition had to be created. Extra guards had to be hired, as well as space for whatever entourages the contestants would bring with them. The royal family, as well as Janus and Logan, were regularly up until all hours of the night. And every step of the way, the Dragon Witch had to be argued with; whatever the twins tried to do, it was all but certain he would be opposed to it, brandishing the scroll with the law written out in excruciating detail to back himself up.

“I want to burn that stupid parchment,” Remus grumbled to Logan one afternoon. “Can’t marry me off if there’s no law saying we have to.” They’d finally gotten a break from the endless meetings Remus—and Logan, by association—had to attend, and had made a beeline back to the princes’ quarters to relax. Remus was sprawled on the couch in his and Roman’s shared sitting room, feet planted defiantly on the cushions, his long black skirt pooled about himself. Logan was seated at a low table near the couch with a sketchbook, positioned just beyond Remus’s head at such an angle that Remus couldn’t see the drawings. Janus tended to comprise much of Logan’s subject matter, when he wasn’t drawing for spells, and it simply wouldn’t do for Remus to see how much Logan had drawn them.

While taking time to relax was undoubtedly needed, Logan noted that Remus fixating so angrily on the cause of his need for relaxation seemed less than ideal. He sighed, looking up from the shading work he was doing. “I understand that your statement is likely rhetorical and intended as an expression of emotion rather than literal action—”

“No, I would very much like to literally set it on fire and burn it up, I think it would be very therapeutic, but go on.”

“—but I feel the need to point out that dwelling on your problem like this will not do anything to make it go away.” Logan set down his pencil and closed the sketchbook. “It will only make you feel worse.”

“I know,” Remus snapped. “And I’m sure the fucking Dragon Witch has plenty of copies of it anyway, so it’s not like it would even do anything.”

Remus had seized onto the nickname he and Roman had come up with with a vengeance; this had the unfortunate side effect that Logan, now used to hearing the man referred to as “Dragon Witch,” had come very close to accidentally calling the advisor such to his face on more than one occasion now. He thanked his lucky stars that so far, his instinct of basic self-preservation had saved him from the painful awkwardness such an accident would incur.

“But like,” Remus continued, gesturing for emphasis as he spoke. “I want to rip it out of his hands and tear it to pieces and stomp them into the ground and burn them up and then blow the ashes in his face and watch him choke on them and—”

“I hear you,” Logan interrupted. From the angle he was at, he couldn’t see Remus’s face, but he could observe the way Remus’s hands had started to shake as he gestured and his voice got rougher and more ragged as he spoke.

“I hate him,” Remus choked out, strangling a sob. “I hate the way he keeps controlling me and I want it to stop. I just want to get left alone for once.”

As if on the worst cue possible, there was a knock on the door. “Prince Remus?” a voice called.

“What the fuck do you want?” Remus snarled, pushing himself up on one elbow, hastily wiping his eyes, and seizing a throw pillow from beside himself.

A servant opened the door and stepped in with a formal bow. Logan glanced habitually at the servant’s wrist for pronouns; the color of the thin stripe on the right wrist of the uniform—green—indicated he/him. Judging by his uniform, with all the lace and frills about the collar and cuffs, he was a footman. Probably here bearing a message from someone higher up. Damn it all. This was exactly what Remus didn’t need right now.

“Your Highness, your presence is required in—” the servant began.

Remus hurled the pillow at the man, hitting him in the face.

“Remus!” Logan snapped, on his feet before he’d even thought about it.

Remus’s lips worked soundlessly for a moment before he pressed them together and shook his head, curling in on himself, his eyes bright with unshed tears.

Logan sighed and crossed the room; he retrieved the pillow off the floor. “Please relay the message that Prince Remus is indisposed and will take some rest this afternoon,” he said to the footman. “I’m terribly sorry about….” He gestured at the pillow. “The misunderstanding.”

“I was told it’s rather urgent—” the footman began.

Behind Logan, Remus let out a short, sharp scream of fury and threw something; it hit the wall and fell to the floor with a clatter.

“Please excuse me a moment, Your Highness,” Logan said smoothly, waving the footman outside to the hallway, following him, and closing the door. “Requiring the prince to attend further events today is a fruitless endeavor,” he said brusquely. “Prince Remus—and his brother too, for that matter—have been harassed about this competition all week. Today he has already sat through five meetings at which his presence was by no means necessary, and he is under a great deal of stress. The prince is indisposed, and he will be unable to attend further events today for anything less than a royal command, personally delivered by his fathers. Do I make myself clear?” Logan’s height—or lack thereof; transition spells didn’t do much to bone structure, and he was firmly stuck at 5’5”—made it hard to appear as intimidating as he’d like to, but he stared the man down nevertheless.

The footman tried to hold his gaze, but was the first to look away. “I’ll let them know, sir.”

“Thank you,” Logan said, trying not to sound too relieved; Remus was so far past the end of his tether already, and Logan was doing his best not to wind up in the same state. He glanced at the guards positioned nearby. “Those instructions apply to you as well. Nobody but the kings are to enter Their Highnesses’ rooms for the rest of the day, for any reason.”

“Yes, sir,” one of the guards acknowledged, bowing his head.

As the footman departed, Logan let himself back into the princes’ quarters. “He’s gone,” he said. He crossed to the couch—Remus was now sitting with his legs splayed out in front of himself on the floor, staring at the candlestick he’d thrown at the wall—and replaced the throw pillow. “I told him that you weren’t to be disturbed for the rest of the day except by your fathers. But you can’t throw things at people.”

“I know,” Remus said, sounding ashamed. “I didn’t mean it to hit him. I didn’t—I wasn’t thinking. I shouldn’t’ve.” He scrubbed at his eyes with the heels of his palms. “’M sorry,” he mumbled.

Logan sighed and lowered himself to sit beside Remus. “What about finding Roman and taking him down to the training grounds to work some of your aggression out on each other?” he suggested. Roman was no doubt moping in his own way just as badly, wherever he was; letting the two spar would be a practical solution. Not to mention that Logan and Janus would get a break from trying to help the princes manage their emotions.

“He’s in the gardens,” Remus said, a particular flavor of disgust to his voice.

“Ah,” Logan said. Perhaps Roman wasn’t moping after all, in that case. “Well. You can still ask, can’t you?” He would really, really like a break, ideally one where he could see Janus.

“I guess,” Remus said with a sigh. He didn’t move to get up.

“I’d suggest changing into something more practical first,” Logan said when the pause dragged on; Remus’s black shirt had wide bell sleeves and his floor-length skirt—while it lent itself well to Remus draping himself on the furniture, like he’d spent all his free time so far today doing—wasn’t something one ought to spar in.

“Fine,” Remus mumbled, hiking up the skirt and climbing to his feet at last. He headed to his wing of the suite he and Roman shared.

Remus took a solid half an hour changing. Logan had enough time to tidy the mess Remus had made of the sitting room and to finish his sketch—a closeup of a patch of scales on the inside of Janus’s left wrist, drawn from memory—before Remus reemerged in another all-black getup.

His choice of colors was hardly surprising. The twins had tended to dress in opposite colors from each other ever since they were children—they’d picked up the habit from their fathers, whose outfits regularly cycled through the entire rainbow, always in complementary colors to each other. Roman and Remus had put their own twist on this idea by tending to wear some combination of black, white, and either red or green. While it was a trend they’d followed for as long as Logan had known them, they didn’t stick to it as consistently as their parents did. To see the kings not dressed in some pair of complementary colors or another? That was a rare sight indeed. But the twins�� matching clothing varied, from full outfits to only an accessory or sometimes nothing at all.

However, in the days since the competition had been announced, Roman and Remus had clung to this habit with a vengeance, hardly a day going by that they didn’t dress entirely in complementing colors. Today, if Logan’s memory served him, Roman had worn a creamy white suit with a subtle white floral pattern embroidered into it; Remus’s dramatic ensemble was only to be expected. This outfit, however, was much better for sparring than his last one had been. His new shirt and pants were tight-fitting enough to be practical, but loose enough to allow him free movement, and the top of his undercut was gelled back so it wouldn’t fall in his eyes.

“Very nice,” Logan commented. “Shall we be off?”

“Whatever,” Remus grumbled. “Sure. I guess.”

“Excellent. After you.” Logan held the door and followed Remus out and towards the nearest stairway.

“He’s just going to be flirting with Patton while they both pretend they aren’t flirting, and he’s not going to want to do anything else,” Remus complained as they descended the stairs, a bodyguard trailing behind them at a discreet distance.

“You don’t know that,” Logan said. It came out halfhearted.

“Oh, don’t I?” Remus asked darkly.

They found Roman in the rose garden, seated on a marble bench amid the flowers together with someone who, even from a distance, Logan could tell was indeed Janus’s stepbrother Patton. Logan spent enough time at Janus’s family bakery on his days off that he easily recognized Patton’s large hooked nose and the way he tilted his head to one side when he was paying attention to something.

Janus was leaning with their elbows on a nearby birdbath, positioned in a patch of warm sunlight, looking bored out of their mind. Logan allowed himself to gaze at them for the briefest of moments; they were wearing a simple yellow dress, with elbow-length sleeves and a square neckline, the full skirt reaching just past their knees. Their brown hair was pinned up in a low twist, and there was the lightest touch of rouge on the pale skin of their right cheek. They looked… ethereal, he decided, was a good word, and he made a mental note to tell them so later before turning his attention to Roman.

Roman and Patton were deep in conversation, leaning towards one another and clearly lost in each others’ eyes, their faces perhaps six inches apart. Patton had deep brown skin; his dark, wavy hair was tied back—it was just long enough to make a tiny ponytail; normally it hung loose around his face or was done half-up. He was looking at Roman with adoration clear to see in his large, deep-set brown eyes, a smile sitting on his face like he didn’t even know it was there. Roman had a small bouquet of flowers in his lap, tied with the same blue ribbon used for packages at the bakery Janus and Patton’s fathers ran together.

Remus gestured at them, glancing to Logan for validation with a sour look on his face. Logan decided it was in his best interest not to comment on the situation either way.

“Prince Roman,” he said instead, clearing his throat.

Roman and Patton jumped away from each other like Logan’s words had been a physical blow. Patton, in fact, scrambled to his feet and seized his discarded basket of garden tools off the ground, while Roman whipped around to look at Logan and Remus. Janus smothered a laugh, covering their mouth with their hand.

“What?” Roman asked, a tad breathless, not acknowledging anything that had just happened.

Remus rolled his eyes. “Wanna come fight?” he said, hefting an imaginary weapon to illustrate. “Logan thinks it’ll keep me from wallowing in self-pity or some bullshit like that.”

“Glad to hear what you think of my desire for your wellbeing,” Logan said dryly.

“Yes, yes, I’ll appreciate you later,” Remus said, waving his comment away. “I’m just very busy being miserable right now, you see. Hey, Roman. Rooooman. Roooooo—”

“Yes, fine, we can go for a round or two,” Roman interrupted as Remus’s singsong grew longer and more annoying. “I’m sure Logan’s right.”

“Oh, yay!” Remus visibly perked up.

“I’ll be off, then,” Patton said, just a tad dejected. “Very nice speaking with you, Ro—Your Highness.”

“Oh—” Roman looked disappointed, gazing at Patton in distress.

“Why don’t you come along to watch?” Logan suggested. “The princes can always use a neutral moderator.”

“Neutral, my ass,” Remus mumbled under his breath.

Logan gave him a warning glare, and he shut up.

“Oh—I—well—if it pleases Your Highnesses,” Patton said, fidgeting with the handle of his basket, clearly trying not to seem too eager in front of Remus.

“It does not please My Highness, but fine, whatever, come stare at Roman’s abs for an hour, see if I care,” Remus said with a gusty sigh.

Patton downright squeaked, averting his eyes from the group.

“Must you be so crass?” Roman demanded, sounding flustered himself at Patton’s reaction. “Please don’t be rude to Patton.”

“Absolutely I must, brother dearest, you know how I love annoying you.” Remus gave Roman a toothy smile. “Come on.” He turned on his heel and headed off at a brisk pace in the direction of the training grounds.

Patton took a brief detour to tell the Head Gardener that the princes required his service and to drop off his tools before catching up with Janus and Logan, who were walking a little ways behind the princes. Roman and Remus were already engaged in lively conversation with each other.

“You’re welcome for getting you off work,” Janus said as Patton fell into step between them and Logan.

“Oh, come now, spoiling my chance to say thank you?” Patton offered Janus one of his strong arms, and they comfortably leaned on him. “I was going to thank Logan, actually, since it was, you know, his idea.”

“You’re very welcome, of course,” Logan said over Janus’s indignant scoffing.

“Yes, yes, that’s all well and good—now, I’m sure you wouldn’t mind doing us just a tiny little favor in return?” Janus asked Patton.

Patton gave Janus an exasperated look that said that he knew exactly what Janus was about to ask. But all he said aloud was, “I’m always happy to help you out, Jan.”

Janus gave him a smile that Logan was pretty sure Remus would describe as “shit-eating.” “You’re such a good brother. Would it be terribly bothersome for you to—”

“Let you know when they’re done so they don’t walk in on you acting like the lovebirds you are?” Patton finished, sounding tired.

“Yes, exactly.” Janus didn’t let up on the grin. “You’re such a dear.”

“You could just tell them,” Patton said.

Janus examined their fingernails, pursing their lips. “You could just tell Roman how you feel about hi—”

“I’ll let you know when they’re done,” Patton interrupted.

“So kind of you,” Janus purred. They paused, a more serious look coming over their face. “You should talk to him about it, though. And soon.”

Patton hesitated, chewing his lip. “I know… I don’t want to add more to his plate right now, you know? Besides, I don’t think Remus likes me much. I wouldn’t want to come between brothers. Not now. Not when they’re so important to each other.”

“Remus’s animosity towards you is more about his feelings towards the… well.” Logan waved his hand, not saying the competition. “It’s not about you. I assure you, the way he treated you before receiving… that news was quite friendly, for him.”

Patton looked concerned by this assessment. This was fair; to Logan’s understanding, Patton and Remus would define “friendly behaviour” in wildly differing ways that all but contradicted each other.

Roman, up ahead of them, let out a shout; the armory building and training ground had just come into view, and Remus had slapped Roman on the shoulder in an impromptu tag and taken off running. Roman set off in hot pursuit. The princes raced each other, close to a tie, each one taking the lead in turn, until Remus stumbled to a halt at the door of the armory and let out a cheer as Roman, perhaps two paces behind, slammed into him.

The twins stared at each other, panting, for a moment, and then both burst into laughter just as the others caught up to them.

“I win,” Remus said, poking Roman in the side.

Roman stuck his tongue out at him. “Oh, shut up.”

Remus grinned and poked him more, following as Roman tried to dodge. “I win I win I win I win I—”

“I know, shut up about it!” Roman said with a small laugh, batting Remus’s hand away. “Janus?” he asked, turning away from Remus. “Can you braid my hair?”

“Have you got a ribbon to tie it off?” Janus inquired.

Roman looked dismayed. “Oh.”

“Here,” Logan said, pulling one of Janus’s hair ribbons out of his pocket and passing it to Roman.

“Where did you get that?” Remus demanded, looking bewildered.

“On the table in your sitting room,” Logan fibbed with a shrug. In reality, he’d pulled it right out of Janus’s hair, teasing them, and then proceeded to get so distracted that he’d forgotten to give it back; it had stayed tucked in his pocket for the last day and a half. “Very irresponsible of you, leaving it lying about,” he told Janus sternly.

Janus clutched their heart and feigned a dramatic swoon, closing their eyes and falling backwards towards Patton without so much as glancing to see if he was paying attention. Perhaps they’d done this before, as Patton jumped to catch them well before there was any danger of them hitting the ground. Janus opened their eyes and smirked at Logan. “Oh, woe is me, I left a practical item in my workplace for an hour. You’re right, how terribly irresponsible of me.” They sighed as Patton, shaking his head in exasperation, set them back on their feet. “Next thing you know, I’ll leave Roman unattended in front of a foreign dignitary and his terrible sense of humor will start a war.”

“Hey!” Roman and Patton protested in the same breath, while Remus snickered.

Logan folded his arms and gave Janus an unimpressed look. “Are you done?”

“Never,” they replied, sounding distracted, beckoning Roman close and pulling his hair back; the braid they tied was quickly done, yet neat and tight, one that wouldn’t unravel in a hurry. “There you go, have fun getting bested by your brother—I mean, good luck, I have every faith in your prowess on the battlefield.” They smirked and shooed Roman toward his twin as he spluttered at them.

“You all go on ahead, I need to discuss some logistics with Janus that were brought up this morning,” Logan said.

“Now?” Janus played along, sounding dismayed.

“Yes, they’re urgent, which you would know if you’d been paying attention in the meeting.”

“Alright, well, you two have fun with that,” Roman said, making a face; he and Remus disappeared into the armory. Patton, after giving Logan and Janus a very unimpressed look, followed.

“So, about those logistics?” Janus inquired, slinking closer to Logan with a smirk.

Logan took their hand and led them to a bench set against the wall of the building. “We do need to talk about how to get the twins to behave civilly to the contestants.”

“Bribery,” Janus responded without hesitation. “Now kiss me.”

“Wh—no, we can’t just—”

“Fine.” Janus shrugged. “Bribery... and lectures. But mostly bribery. Roman has an incorrigible sweet tooth, and you surely know what Remus likes. Now, I do believe I haven’t been kissed in hours, and it is a downright sin on your part to let that stand.”

Logan sighed, leaning in and kissing them once. “Darling, please be serious.”

“I am perfectly serious. Roman will do anything if I promise him enough chocolate.” Janus caught Logan by the chin and drew him back in for another kiss.

Logan allowed himself to get lost in the kiss for just a minute, wrapping an arm around Janus’s waist and pulling them close against his chest, nudging their lips apart with his tongue; they made a sound of satisfaction into his mouth, and he kissed them more fiercely, relishing the way they melted in his arms.

He remembered himself after a moment and pulled away, although the noise of disappointment Janus made left him wanting nothing more than to kiss them again, and again and again, until disappointment was the furthest thing from their mind. “I’m not accepting bribery as our final solution.”

Janus sighed and scooted over to sit in his lap with their head resting on his shoulder. “Fine, but it will wind up being the most effective one, wait and see.”

Logan pressed a kiss to the top of their head. “I’m sure we’re more than clever enough to come up with a better option,” he coaxed.

“Hmm, nope. I’m thinking about it, and I still think the best way to get Roman to cooperate with anything, ever, is to bribe him with chocolate.”

“That… that cannot be how you get all your work done.”

“No, but it’s the quickest, easiest, and most effective way. I’m very fond of it. You should try it.” Janus gave Logan a brilliant smile.

He shook his head. “Absolutely not. If Remus gets it into his head that he’ll be rewarded for capricious behavior in any capacity, I will never be able to get him to compromise with me ever again.”

“We all have our ways,” Janus said with a shrug. “You work hard. I resort to underhanded means. In the end, we get similar results.”

“This is nowhere near as amusing as you seem to find it, dear,” Logan informed them.

“Then why are you smiling?” they challenged, grinning up at him.

“Because—” Logan began, then stopped, trying to figure out an answer.

Janus began to smirk, clearly thinking they’d won, which wouldn’t do at all. Logan hated to cheat, but sometimes they really did force his hand.

“Because I love you,” he told them.

Janus’s eyes—one a soft, mossy green, the other bright lime with a slit, snakelike pupil—went wide, suddenly soft and vulnerable, and if Logan weren’t so close he might have missed their tiny intake of breath. “That’s not fair,” they whispered.

“But it’s true,” Logan said, smoothing a stray wisp of Janus’s hair behind their ear.

Janus whined, turning to hide their face in his neck. “You’re ruining my reputation,” they complained.

Logan smiled. “I love you,” he whispered once more into their hair.

“Stop,” they protested, making fists in the fabric of his shirt and clinging to him.

Logan chuckled. “Loving you? Never,” he promised, running his hand in soothing strokes up and down their back.

“I l—love you, too,” Janus whispered into his neck after a moment.

Logan pressed a kiss to their temple. “Mmhm?” he said encouragingly.

Janus nodded, relaxing somewhat.

They’d talked about this before. Janus had assured him that they liked hearing it, and that they didn’t feel like he was ever pressuring them to say it back, and that they only said it when they wanted to. Logan trusted their word, of course; and any lingering worries he might have had about their discomfort were eased by the easy, eager way Janus traded any other imaginable form of verbal affection with him. It was only the phrase “I love you” that reduced them to a stammering, nervous state like this.

(“I think it’s because I—I do,” Janus had told him late one night, sitting criss-cross on the bed, holding one of his hands in theirs and tracing lines on his palm with their finger. He’d waited without speaking so they could take their time; he knew how hard it could be for them to let their walls down. “I do. So much. I think it scares me to say it because of how true it is. And I’m not… not used to hearing it, I guess. My dad doesn’t like to say it. I don’t know.” They’d glanced up through their lashes at him. “It’s good when you say it, though. Really good.”)

(Logan had decided he should remind them he loved them as often as possible after that conversation.)

The pair of them sat there for a moment, Logan rubbing little circles at the base of one of Janus’s shoulder blades.

“How has your day been?” he asked after Janus’s breath had evened out somewhat.

“Tiresome,” Janus responded at once, clearly on more comfortable footing. “I’m glad Patton got me a break before you came down. You?”

“Much the same. Remus threw something at a footman.”

Janus frowned. “He hasn’t done that in—”

“Years, yes. I figured it was best to get him and Roman onto the training ground before he accidentally hurt someone.”

“Makes sense,” Janus said. They paused. “I… got called a lady this morning. Which was a first.”

Logan’s arms tightened around them protectively, though he did his best not to react—Janus didn’t like a big deal to be made of their problems. But misgendering, while it was a very rare occurrence in this day and age, had always been a particular pet peeve of Logan’s; it was so simple to just not do it. His own family had never had a problem with it after he came out at age ten—neither his parents over the next four years, nor his aunt and uncle who he’d lived with in the year between when his parents had died and when he’d traveled south to the capitol to enroll in the wizardry program. If they could all use his pronouns correctly without an issue when they’d known him his whole life, he refused to have patience for anyone else’s mistakes. Particularly in the castle, where everyone wore colored stripes on their sleeves indicating their pronouns. Pale yellow, the lightest, for she/her; soft orange, a little darker, for they/them; vivid forest green, darker still, for he/him; and a very dark purple, so rich it was almost black, for neopronouns or any pronouns not covered by the other available options—a simple conversation would clarify which. They were not difficult to tell apart, and literally everyone wore them all the time. Sure, accidents happened; but, in Logan’s opinion, they shouldn’t. Particularly not ones involving the pronouns of anyone he knew. Particularly not Janus.

But this was about Janus, and what Janus wanted, not what Logan did, so he didn’t voice any of these thoughts. “How are you feeling?” he asked them instead, taking pains to keep his voice gentle and casual.

“I… don’t know. I wasn’t expecting it at all, you know? But it wasn’t as bad as the more usual mistake. It was… still not good. But strange.” Janus shook their head. “I don’t know.”

“It’s alright to not know,” Logan said. “Are you alright?”

Janus was silent for a long moment. “I think so? I… I really don’t know. She apologized when she realized her mistake.” Their lips twitched in a smile that didn’t reach their eyes. “At least it distracted Roman from sulking for a little while. He was furious.” They reached up and traced the curve of Logan’s cheek with one finger. “I like your reaction better.”

Logan turned his head to press a kiss to the tip of their finger. “Oh?”

Janus’s smile was more genuine this time. “Yes, because you spoil me.”

Logan raised an eyebrow. “I beg to differ. This is not ‘spoiling you.’ I am perfectly capable of spoiling you, with affection or otherwise, and I enjoy doing so, but this is not it. This is providing you with basic support as a human being.”

“Well, maybe you should be spoiling me right now, did you ever think about that?” Janus pouted.

Logan held up one finger in a pause motion. Clarity was important, regardless of what Janus seemed to be signalling. “Janus. Do you want to talk about it, or do you want to be distracted?”

Janus shook their head. “I just wanted to tell you. I don’t want to talk about it. Or think about it. Or think about anything else that’s happened today, honestly.” They closed their eyes, clearly expecting a kiss.

Logan cupped their cheek in his hand and ran his thumb over their bottom lip, thinking. “Have I mentioned how lovely you are lately?” he inquired.

Janus opened their eyes, cheeks flushing beneath their rouge and scales. “Oh, once or twice,” they said.

Logan smirked. “Well, that’s not nearly enough. Do you know—when Remus and I came outside, and I saw you in the sunlight leaning on that birdbath?”

“Yeah?” Janus breathed.

“I thought you looked positively ethereal,” Logan replied at a similar volume.

Janus’s hands flew up to hide their blushing face, fingers loosely spread so they could peek at him through the gaps between them, their eyes wide. “That’s cheating,” they managed, their pleased tone belying their words. “You and your vocabulary.”

“I thought you just said you liked being spoiled, dear,” Logan said, trying not to laugh. “As a connoisseur of words, I would be remiss not to bedazzle you with the very finest ones I know. You are ethereal. Exquisite. Bewitching. Resplendent. Breathtaking.”

Janus, half-giggling, shoved at him, but only succeeded in knocking themself off balance and nearly falling off his lap to the ground; they caught his shoulder just in time and clung to him. “Shut up,” they whined into his shirt through their laughter, their entire face flushed pink, even the little gaps between patches of scales.

“Divine,” Logan went on through his own laughter. “You’re absolutely flawless. Entrancing. Dazzling. Radiant. Beguiling. Unsurpassed in—”

Janus dragged him down by the collar of his shirt and pressed their mouth artlessly against his, still laughing.

As a general rule, Logan wasn’t a fan of having to stop talking; however, as with most things, he was more than delighted to make an exception for Janus.

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mokutone · 4 years ago

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,, i dont,, know jackshit about naruto,, but,,,,,,, your watercolor pieces are so good??? like???????? SO GOOD?????

Here's the obligatory ask (since I started trying to use watercolors): are you aware of any tips for that particular medium? Like, are the brushes and watercolor quality really important or is that just my imagination? Also, how 2 mix colors and not die-

LMAO thanks!! I’m glad you think so!

I do have a lot of tips for watercolor, but I’ll start with the material questions. I would say that the quality of the tools can be fairly important, but like, it’s not make or break.

Supplies Information:

Disclaimer: None of this is necessary! You can make great art with any material available to you. All materials have different strengths and weaknesses, but you can create things that bring joy with the most rudimentary of supplies.

I tend mostly to use liquid watercolors because I find them easier to control and manage (and I just...like working out of little bottles of liquid with eyedroppers. It’s my ink bias), but they have significant drawbacks. Archival speaking? light will bleed all the color out of what I have created eventually! They aren’t built to last. That doesn’t worry me much because I tend to stack all my drawings up and shove them in a drawer when I’m done, but it’s something to keep in mind. I find them easy to mix and manage in the pallet, and easy to reactivate if they dry out

The brands I use are Dr. PH Martin’s Concentrated/Radiant Watercolor, and Ecoline Watercolor. Between the two, I would recommend Ecoline because they are cheaper, have more consistent texture, and have more in the bottle. Honestly, if the art store near me wasn’t on a huge sale, I never woulda gotten the PH Martins, they’re expensive as hell and just incredibly teeny glass bottles.

BUT, if you want to use watercolor that comes in tubes (which will last longer, give you more options for artistic expression—because the texture ranges from paste to watery, you have all that range to experiment with—and which most watercolor artists prefer in general) there’s a lot more options. The highest quality for the cheapest price I’ve found are the Turner’s watercolor tubes? I don’t always love the texture when I’m wetting the paint because I am picky, but the color is incredibly vibrant, and the prices are incredibly affordable compared to like, schminke or cotman haha. I used these in school and had a great time with them.

Brushes I know a lot less about, like almost nothing honestly, I wish I could give you some concrete advice on brushes but what it really comes down to for me is like, if you like the way it feels in your hand, if you like the way it makes a mark, it’s good. all it exists to do is facilitate You making a mark on the paper with some artistic medium, as long as you are satisfied with it, that’s good.

If you want brush recommendations though, I’ve been told that Princeton’s watercolor brushes (i have a couple from the Heritage and Velvetouch series) are good synthetic brushes for...moderate prices. Brushes are expensive. Usually people recommend you have a #2 and #4 Round, and a smaller detail brush, but again, really, like all things art it all comes down to your preferences, and your needs.

Actual Painting Tips:

Take care of yourself! Treat yourself kindly, forgive yourself for making mistakes. I’m dead serious. It’s impossible to avoid making mistakes, and in watercolor the mistakes are really hard to fix, and usually impossible without the use of gouache or something else opaque, so at some point it’s going to become an exercise in forgiving yourself for making those mistakes, like drawing in pen with no under-sketch. On a good day, I find this therapeutic. On a bad day, it’s maddening. It’s okay not to make art on a bad day. When it comes to something you do because you enjoy it, and want to continue enjoying it, it’s important not to force yourself to do anything you don’t want to, and to take breaks when you feel yourself getting frustrated.

Paint from Lightest color value to Darkest. If you’re going to paint a character with a bit of a rim-light from some golden sunlight, paint that light light yellow first, top to bottom, and then work your way to the darker colors.

If you’re painting on a tilted surface (I’m guilty of keeping my sketchpad or paper block on my knees) paint from top to bottom. The weight of the water will pull the paint down, so you want to work with gravity, not against it!

Limit yourself. Let yourself only work with one color for a day or so, then only two colors, then only three. When you put yourself in a corner where you don’t have a lot of options, you’ll often find you surprise yourself with what you come up with. Usually, I pick three colors, put them down on my pallet, and leave them there for a week or so, mostly just painting from those colors. It helps me develop a familiarity with how those colors work together, and how they work when I mix them.

Mixing Colors:

another thing I should say about the Dr.PH Martin’s watercolors is that they don’t always mix well. I tried to get a skin tone for Kakashi once out of pink, green, and a little bit of brown, and in the mixture you could see all of the colors that went into it, and it gave a very strange look. I liked it as a color, but it definitely looked weird.

The paint that you use will have properties specific to itself, and you will get more familiar with those properties as you work it. It may mix smoothly on the pallet, it may not, and both of those can be good if you’re willing to work with them.

Because of watercolor’s properties, there’s three main ways to mix it:

One: Mixing in the palette. What it says on the tin—you mix the paint, you put it on the paper. I do this one the most, it just takes a lot of familiarity with your paints to get used to the balances that create the colors you want, just lots and lots of playing around.

Two: Mixing dry. This isn’t really “mixing” per se, but it does the same job, Watercolor is a transparent medium, and one that reactivates when wet, so if you put one color over another, it’s about the same as mixing.

Three: Semi-wet mixing. The combination of the two! You can get some weird effects out of this. I use it sparingly, but I love to use it when I do.

The most useful physical tool for me (just me personally) in mixing is a pallet i have, and while it’s fairly cheap and should last like, idk forever, there are other ways to get a similar effect without it, as long as you give yourself space to mix.

it looks like this, it’s a porcelain pallet (so the cleanup is incredibly easy, unlike my plastic one, which unfortunately wants to hold my color a little) and i use it almost daily. The circular wells are for where you put the bulk of the color you will be using, and the rectangular wells are for mixing either with water, to get more translucent colors, or with other colors. The limited wells but excess of mixing space puts pressure on me not to use too many colors, but to mix them constantly. (but also has enough divided space that I don’t feel anxious about everything getting muddied. i am very particular.)

It’s heavy though, and while its therefore good for sitting on my desk and not getting knocked off by my cat or me, it’s not easily portable, especially as it’s uncovered if that's something that is important to you. Blick’s probably has them, as does...I imagine any other art retailer? They’re fairly popular. Usually around 6-8$ but again, none of these tools are necessary, they are just what suit me personally. I hope this helps! If I have the energy for it, at some point I’ll post some basic watercolor exercises to help with control and technical skill. You can get very good with any medium just by raw continuous practice, but my teacher last year had us do a lot of exercises that not only gave me a much greater comfort and confidence with watercolor, but that were also just...incredibly meditative to do.

#it wouldnt be basil mokutone if i didnt turn literally every advice post into an excuse to tell people to treat themselves kindly #something something you are your greatest tool and just as you shouldnt leave your brushes in the water you also shouldnt overwork yourself #i got a lot of my supplies very cheap cause the art store near me was closing so lots of it was extremely discounted so i'm very lucky haha #changeside #watercolor #advice #i genuinely hope this helps folks hahaha i dont wanna come off as like idk presumptuous or preachy #long post /

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stygiantarot · 5 years ago

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Modern Divination Methods

(originally taught in The Alexandria Archives on 4/9/2020)

Divination is most certainly one of the oldest practices of witchcraft. Reading omens, trancing for prophecy/scrying, and using tools to read symbols or patterns have all been used in some form for practically as long as society has existed. Many people are familiar with the mainstream ones: Tarot, runes, tea leaves, scrying, etc. Last time I went over some more unusual methods. Today, in light of the current global situation having many person’s stuck in limited spaces with limited supplies, I thought we could touch on some modern methods. Most require nothing more than what you already have at your fingertips!

We will explore in some detail:

Shufflemancy: divination using randomized songs

Stichomancy: divination using passages in a volume of writing

Traffic omens: Modernizing weather style omen reading using things like cars, stoplights, types of buildings passed, etc.

We’ll also touch on a couple other ideas you might try expanding on:

Online Randomizer: Think like the old web extension Stumble upon or even those websites that give you random quotes, images, names, etc.

Social Media Image Scrying: using a collection of images online to select a particular one for interpretation.

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Shufflemancy

Many of you have probably heard of this method, likely even tried it! Shufflemancy is the method of divination that uses a platform or application to randomize a selection/playlist of songs for interpretation. You can either just hit the shuffle button once and go with that initial song or you can incorporate a more personalized experience by having the querent choose a number of skips to hit. It can also be tailored by using specific playlists you’ve compiled or certain genre options on applications like Spotify or Pandora.

You can expand on this with applications like Youtube to include videos. It’s my fantasy that platforms like Netflix or Hulu will come up with a “randomizer” or shuffle type option someday. It would be such a blast to play a random video and then use that for divination!

It’s important to take into account both the lyrics and the melody/mood of the music when your selection is being interpreted. If you aren’t sure if you’d be comfortable with that initially, I recommend building a “beginner’s” sort of playlist that is filled with songs you know very well and have personal feelings about. It makes the interpretation that much easier. Much like using a Tarot or Oracle deck that has art styles or characters you’re familiar with. You may also incorporate the visuals of a music video if there is one for the song. Shufflemancy usually works better for more expansive readings rather than just yes/no questions. Although you can sometimes get that sort of immediately “positive” or “negative” impression from many songs, assuming it doesn’t have both!  

This method is a therapeutic way to delve into some modern divination. The emotional and cathartic aspect can be soothing for both the reader and the querent. Not to mention the connection it builds as you share music between you. A feel good way to practice some divination with no physical tools beyond some technology access.

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Stichomancy

This method of divination, sometimes called bibliomancy, uses a book or similar volume of writing to select passages from to interpret. Most people use the page number as the way to select, telling the querent to select a number between the first and last page (and what the highest number possible is). But there are intuitive methods as well. Using the physical shuffling of pages until it feels right to stop rather than a selected number. I find the latter method more useful when reading for myself and the former method more cooperative when I’m reading for others.

Like with shufflemancy, stichomancy is much affected by your personalizing of the tool. Use books you love! Use books that have specific genres for specific queries (a romance book for a relationship reading?). Use anthologies (short story or poetry collections) to get a variety of styles and language to work with.    

You can also use books that are more visual, like my headstone symbolism book pictured above. It makes the reading more akin to Tarot, but you can use captions to help expand on the interpretation. Practice trial and error with multiple books until you feel comfortable and confident that the results are accurate enough. The books I have in the photo I shared are the five I’m comfortable using in regular readings. I play with others for myself or specific queries for friends or family but often I’m not comfortable adding them to my regular repertoire. I have a series of dimestore style paperback mysteries that love to give readings for a dear friend but are useless in accuracy for anyone else. Books have personalities- if you didn’t already know that this method will teach you that fact quickly. You can also create your own specific stichomancy book using a notebook with numbered short passages and poems of that have significance to you. It can be an enriching process to collect all the passages to add to your own book and you can give them more specific and more easily remembered associations when compiling them yourself. Do remember to give proper credit/sourcing to all your collected passages though! 

You don’t need the largest book possible to be effective with this method of divination. “Desperation” and “Chilling Ghost Short Stories” are my thickest books, but honestly I’ve gotten more insightful readings from my two slim fairy tale volumes. It’s truly a method you make your own. I have friends who prefer to exclusively use books of poetry rather than fictional prose. That is good too!

A note: don’t feel like you need to have a physical book- I’ve had some success with ebooks! It can be trickier to do the flip-through for sure, but not impossible. 

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Traffic Omens

I was probably about 8 years old when I first played the “If, Then” game. “If this next light turns green before we reach it, then I’ll get McDonalds for lunch.” A simple and almost childish game of course. But essentially, traffic omens. I expanded on it as I got older to include seeing certain makes and colors of cars during my commute. Or a certain number of common buildings like churches or banks. A type of architecture or statues featuring certain things. It can be as common or uncommon as your needs require.

This is a method that’s a little trickier to lay out for others in step-by-step ways because it is omen based and therefore requires you to select what works for your specific area/region, what type of commute based omens you feel comfortable noticing, what meanings they have for you, etc. And since this is omen-based, it isn’t exactly ideal for actively standard divination reading. It’s more ideal for a passive style, or personal predictions in your own life.

You can build a system that works for you and could predict luck in a career, prosperity in the home, or a new friend. I recommend starting a journal of the sort of “omens” you notice on your commute. Follow up with a short blurb about how your day went and how you felt. Then you can refer back to it and create the personal system from there. You can vary the more common with uncommon omens- just remember to ascribe the appropriate association. Seeing a certain number of bank buildings can be good for meaning an increase in general finances but you’d likely want something more uncommon like an usual make and model of a single car for snagging a dream job. You can also create variations for when you’re walking during your day instead of commuting! 

 A bit more involved but something interesting to experiment with in our modern society. And keep a bit of that childlike wonder!

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Online Randomizer

Did you ever play with the web extension “Stumble Upon” back when it existed? The idea was that you installed it in whatever web browser you happened to be using and then clicked it to get directed to an entirely random website. Though it’s intention was obviously to curb boredom, it is definitely something interesting to try as a divination tool. Stumble Upon no longer exists (as far as I know), however there are similar extensions or webpages that let you do the same thing (this one comes to mind: https://theuselessweb.com). There is also options like Wikipedia’s “random article” ability that works along the same lines. This method is similar to stichomancy in that you’ll likely be working with text a lot of the time. But be aware of the medium you’re working with- a webpage is more than just a page in a book. What is its purpose? How well is it designed? What sort of visuals does it use? What emotional impressions do you get from it? It can start simple, but you can see the options are there for expanding an interpretation pretty elaborately. And again, a number of clicks can be incorporated if you like.

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Multi-Image Scrying (Social Media Image Scrying)   

It’s hard for me to come up with a concise name for this. But it’s possible you’ve come across persons doing this on various platforms like Twitter, Tumblr, Facebook, etc. There is a selection of images in a format similar to a moldboard to view. The reader has a querent select an image that stands out to them and builds a reading based on the selection. Similar to a random draw from a Tarot or Oracle card with symbolism and art imagery lending itself to the interpretation. This can be great to try if you are into color symbolism or can easily see how certain artwork evokes certain emotions. Similar to what websites like Buzzfeed or the astro.com color chart quiz is! Almost like an alternative horoscope based on visual selections you are drawn to.

Be sure to ethically collect images for something like this if you plan on offering it to others. There are many websites that have royalty free images you can use for projects like this. Or you can even use ones you have yourself! These don’t have to be high art photographs, simple ones on your phone can absolutely work. The biggest goal is to make sure they are varied so a large amount of interpretation is possible.

There is a version of this using face down Tarot (or oracle) cards as well. You take a photo (or have video) of them face down and then have your querent select one at random without either of you knowing what it is. Then once you flip it over you can giving a reading based on that. It’s not especially different from a standard long distance Tarot reading except it can be used on a mass scale. For example, I’ve done this for my business Facebook or Instagram where I have a grid of numbered face down cards. Then I put the meanings of each card in the comments so someone can select the card before reading the comments and get a low-tech daily reading without an app.

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Even though many of these methods evoke playful games of childhood, that doesn’t mean it doesn’t have potential as a valid form of divination. Many forms of divination in the past started as games or ways to pass time before they were built into the forms of divination we know today. A modern technique may seem “sillier” to traditionalists but just like younger generations are proving the further reaching use of modern technology to previous generations; it is time to prove the modern forms of divination as valid to the traditionalists!

#divination #stichomancy #shufflemancy #types of divination #witchblr #TAA #fortune telling #witchcraft class #witchcraft 101 #modern divination #modern witchcraft #witchy #modern omens

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queenmercurys · 5 years ago

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My ramblings on The Prince of Egypt (1998)

I recently wrote a lengthy rant about why I think Disney becoming a monopoly is a bad thing, and how most of the animated films the studio has released in recent years don’t (for me, personally) hold a candle to some of the classic non-Disney animated films I’ve seen over the years. One of my examples was The Prince of Egypt. I first saw this film when I was a kid, but I recently rewatched it (I think it’s on Netflix essentially everywhere, please watch it), and was blown away. And since I found it a bit therapeutic to put my thoughts into these mini ramble-essays, I thought I would do the same on The Prince of Egypt, and why I hold it in such high regard.

I’m by no means an expert on animation, storytelling or anything like that. My best qualifications are a BA in English literature, and recreational drawing throughout my life. Neither of these things make me in any way an expert in storytelling or animation. Just wanted to make that clear. And me praising The Prince of Egypt is not me trying to take anything away from other animated films. I just think this film is dope and I wanna talk about it. So, to start off, I guess I should make it clear that I’m not religious. I would actually classify myself as a little bit anti-religious, simply because I think there are some inherent flaws in most organized religions that result in really damaging things throughout the world and throughout history. And yet, I can very clearly understand the appeal. I understand that religion is a source of comfort and hope for a lot of people, and there is absolutely nothing wrong with that. But I felt the need to say this to make it clear that my bias towards this film has nothing to do with the religious message it conveys.

With that out of the way, I want to properly start by talking about why I think the film tells the story of the Book of Exodus in a really, really talented way. Like I probably just made clear, I can’t call myself an expert on the mythology, but I know the general gist of it. I think the way The Prince of Egypt manages to transform a dark biblical story into a family-friendly (yet, still serious enough) animated film is pretty impressive. I was most impressed by the way in which the characters were fleshed out, particularly in the cases of Moses and Rameses. Both of their motivations are clear, and their conflicts are depicted through their actions, dialogue and (especially) facial expressions. You can definitely feel their connection throughout the film, and their struggles as they are pitted against each other feel very real. The other characters are fleshed out enough to be believable as people, but not too fleshed out, so to not distract the audience from the main duo. And in relation to this, the voice acting is superb. The voice cast for this film is pretty darn good, and I believed every single one of them as their characters.

Next, my favorite bit of the film. The music! I was absolutely blown away from the very first minute “Deliver Us” began to play. The movie is filled with absolutely breathtaking pieces of music that, to me, are unrivaled by any other animated film. And when I found out that Hans Zimmer was involved in the film, well, that just made perfect sense to me. I heard that the film’s music was influenced by The Hunchback of Notre Dame among some other movies, which I think can be heard throughout. The Hunchback of Notre Dame is actually one of the few Disney films that I would consider near-perfect, and the music is a big part of that. I am a really big fan of super theatrical musical pieces that maybe take themselves a bit too seriously at times (my favorite band is Queen, after all), and both The Hunchback and The Prince of Egypt deliver 100%. But I would actually rank The Prince of Egypt higher than The Hunchback, because, to me, every single musical number in The Prince of Egypt is perfect. My personal favorites are “Deliver Us” and “The Plagues”, but I would gladly take any of them over basically any other animated musical number. The songs are meaningful, impactful, tell a clear narrative, and are accompanied by amazing visuals. I usually dislike musicals, and usually dread musical numbers in films, but with The Prince of Egypt I was constantly eagerly awaiting the next song.

I also wanted to talk about the visuals. I’m including a few screenshots in this ramble to illustrate what I mean, but overall all I can say is that I really, really miss 2D animation. I think The Prince of Egypt perhaps does it better than I’ve ever seen before. The level of detail, the expressions on the characters’ faces, the lighting effects, it’s all incredibly impressive. And I believe the film also uses some 3D elements to its advantage, and those little bits have really aged quite well. One of the few scenes I still remembered clearly from when I was a kid was the parting of the Red Sea, and watching it again, it was even more breathtaking than I remembered. I’m not saying that The Prince of Egypt did anything that hadn’t been done by other films. I’m simply saying that the animation left an impact on me in a way that not many other films have done.

Lastly, I wanted to talk about how I feel The Prince of Egypt handled the themes of the story wonderfully. Even though it is technically a religious tale, it never feels like one. You never feel like you’re being preached to, and you never feel like the ultimate message of the film is “believe in God and everything will be ok”. The film is essentially about seeing the bigger picture, of seeing yourself as equal to others, rather than as being above them. This is depicted in the way Moses interacts with his people vs how Rameses interacts with his subjects. Even though the songs and the dialogue often allude to biblical themes and morals, it never feels like Bible class. You never feel like you’re being forced down this narrative that you don’t necessarily personally care about. It feels like a story of an oppressed people who find freedom and happiness against all odds. And mostly, it feels like a character study of the relationship between two brothers at the opposite ends of a spectrum. And that is something I really applaud the film for. It really could have alienated its audience by preaching about religion and God, but it chooses to not do that, and instead is a film that is accessible to everyone - regardless of their religious beliefs.

Overall, I think The Prince of Egypt is a pretty great film and if you haven’t seen it yet, you absolutely should. Thanks.

#the prince of egypt #prince of egypt #dreamworks #my ramblings

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tinyshe · 4 years ago

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Story at-a-glance

Mercola.com has been labeled a national security threat by British and American intelligence agencies that are collaborating to eliminate “anti-vaccine propaganda” from public discussion using sophisticated cyberwarfare tools

Imran Ahmed, chief executive of the Centre for Countering Digital Hate (CCDH), has made statements implying that people who question the safety and necessity of a COVID-19 vaccine might be prone to violent extremism — a defamatory statement that has no basis in reality

In a December 22, 2020, Twitter post, the CCDH states that “Anti-vaxxers have been meeting secretly to plan how to stop the COVID vaccine.” According to The Washington Post, the CCDH report quotes “leaked audio” from this supposedly “secret” meeting

However, audio was not “leaked,” as it came from presentations given at the Fifth International Public Conference on Vaccination, held online October 16 through 18, 2020 that was in no way "private" or held in secret. It was open to the public just like the previous four conferences on vaccination that NVIC has sponsored beginning in 1997

Censorship is anathema to a democratically run, free and open society. While there may not be a benefit to allowing misinformation to be disseminated, the risks of censoring are simply too grave to be justifiable

As detailed in "Spy Agencies Threaten to 'Take Out' Mercola," this website has been labeled a national security threat by British and American intelligence agencies that are collaborating to eliminate "anti-vaccine propaganda" from public discussion using sophisticated cyberwarfare tools.1,2,3

In a December 22, 2020, article,4 The Hill claims the "anti-vaccination movement sees COVID-19 as an opportunity" to strengthen its position, stating that "As public health officials seek to reassure Americans on the safety and efficacy of the COVID-19 vaccine, anti-vaccine efforts could prevent the country from reaching herd immunity."

According to a November 9, 2020, report in The Times,5 the British "government regards tackling false information about COVID-19 vaccination as a rising priority," ostensibly for the same reason. But does concern for implementation of public health policy really justify the use of cyberwarfare against those who raise questions about vaccine safety?

Wouldn't vaccine safety be part and parcel of a successful public health campaign? Doesn't public trust play a significant part as well? The fact that they're trying to shut down any and all conversations about vaccines — using warfare tactics no less — suggests that the planned mass vaccination campaign has very little to do with keeping the public healthy and safe. It's about controlling the public, for some undisclosed purpose.

'Anti-Hate' Group Defames Vaccine Safety Advocates

In July 2020, Imran Ahmed, a member of the Steering Committee on Countering Extremism Pilot Task Force under the British government's Commission for Countering Extremism and the chief executive of the Centre for Countering Digital Hate (CCDH), told The Independent6 he considers anti-vaxxers "an extremist group that pose a national security risk," because "once someone has been exposed to one type of conspiracy it's easy to lead them down a path where they embrace more radical world views that can lead to violent extremism."

In other words, Ahmed implies that people who question the safety and necessity of a COVID-19 vaccine might be prone to violent extremism — a defamatory statement that has no basis in reality.

In its report, "The Anti-Vaxx Playbook,"7 CCDH identifies six leading online "anti-vaxxers" — Barbara Loe Fisher, Joseph Mercola, Del Bigtree, Robert F. Kennedy Jr., Sherri Tenpenny and Andrew Wakefield — and outlined an alleged anti-vaxxer "plan to attack a forthcoming COVID vaccine" based on remarks made by speakers during the Fifth International Public Conference on Vaccination, sponsored by the non-profit, Nacional Vaccine Information Center (NVIC) and held online October 16 through 18, 2020.

According to The Washington Post,8 the report quotes "leaked audio" from the conference. Similarly, in a December 22, 2020, Twitter post,9 the CCDH states that "Anti-vaxxers have been meeting secretly to plan how to stop the COVID vaccine. We were there. Today we're exposing their playbook."

It's rather laughable. Just who is the conspiracy theorist here? There was no audio to be "leaked" since it was a PUBLIC conference, open to absolutely anyone and everyone, just like the previous four conferences on vaccination that NVIC has held beginning in 1997. It was openly promoted by NVIC, this website, as well as many other groups and was about as far from a "secret meeting" as you could possibly get.

Since the CCDH admitted "being there," they must have paid the nominal registration attendance fee of $80, as did more than 3,000 other registered attendees from the U.S, Canada, Europe, Asia and Africa. The NVIC conference, which was originally scheduled to be held in a hotel, was produced online for the first time after COVID-19 social distancing and travel restrictions were instituted in March, 2020.

Vaccine Concerns Are Growing Rapidly

The CCDH report also lists several private Facebook groups dedicated to vaccine information, including "Vaccination Re-Education Discussion Forum," "Stop Mandatory Vaccination," "Vaccine Choices" and "Restore Liability for the Vaccine Makers."

CCDH admits tracking and spying on 425 vaccine-related Facebook, Instagram, YouTube and Twitter accounts. In all, these accounts have 59.2 million followers, "nearly 877,000 more than they had in June," CCDH notes, adding that:10

"This means that anti-vaxxers grew fast enough to outpace the removal of accounts belonging to influential figures such as Del Bigtree, Larry Cook and David Icke in that period. Those removals led to a loss of 3.2 million followers from the total, while other anti-vaxxers in our sample gained over 4.1 million …

Analysis of this year-long growth also shows the substantial contributions that alternative health entrepreneurs and conspiracy theorists make to the reach of the anti-vaccine movement.

Entrepreneurs now have 22.6 million followers, supplying two-fifths of the anti-vaccine movement's online following. Anti-vaccine conspiracy accounts grew by nearly 50 percent over the year, starting at 15.5 million followers in 2019 and rising to 23.1 million by December 2020."

According to the CCDH, "Anti-vaxxers have developed a sophisticated playbook for spreading uncertainty about a COVID vaccine."11 To counter this information, medical and scientific professionals need to "take action," by which the CCDH means they must push for COVID-19 vaccination.

"To do so, they must convince the public that COVID is dangerous and give them confidence that a vaccine is safe and effective," the CCDH writes,12 adding that anti-vaxxers "win the debate by default if a skeptical public fail to take action and use the vaccine."

'Anti-Vaxx Playbook'

Just what is the "anti-vaxx playbook"? According to the CCDH, the "playbook for spreading uncertainty" about the vaccine involves five key steps:13

Establishing "a 'master narrative' comprising three key messages: COVID is not dangerous, the vaccine is dangerous and vaccine advocates cannot be trusted"

Adapting that master narrative for "online subcultures" such as "Alternative health entrepreneurs, conspiracy theorists, and accounts directed at parents or ethnic communities"

Offering "online answering spaces where people with doubts about COVID or the vaccine can direct their questions"

Converting vaccine-hesitant individuals into anti-vaxxers and then training them to become "more effective activists"

Mitigating attacks on their online infrastructure by migrating followers to "alt-tech" platforms such as Telegram and Parler and developing "techniques for undermining fact-checking"

In the report, the CCDH details many of the specific messages shared by me and others, such as deaths being falsely attributed to COVID-19, thereby artificially inflating mortality statistics, the fact that COVID-19 has a 99+% survival rate unless you're very old and have underlying comorbidities, and the fact that there are now several effective therapeutics for COVID-19, making a vaccine less relevant.

"Anti-vaxxers take advantage of existing media and political narratives around the speed of vaccine development to claim trials have been rushed, and that it is too soon to know if COVID vaccines are safe," the CCDH states. "Variations of this narrative highlight perceived shortcomings in clinical trials, and draw on past examples of vaccines with adverse effects."

Zero Solid Counterarguments Made

Reading through the CCDH's report, I'm struck by the irony that none of the so-called "anti-vaxx arguments" are actually met by solid pro-vaccine counterarguments or data.

CCDH does not negate or even debate the accuracy of any of them. It just brushes them aside as misinformation and lies without providing any proof whatsoever. In fact, the report summarizes our concerns so well that I'd encourage everyone to read it.

At the end of the report, they do list a number of strategies that pro-vaccine advocates should use to counter anti-vaccine messages, but again, nowhere do they recommend leaning on published science.

Instead, it's all about shaming people who question vaccines as "conspiracy theorists," promoting harrowing stories of people who got sick with COVID-19 and "shouting about getting vaccinated."

"Recipients of the vaccine should post about getting it — such a campaign could create authentic social proof and work against the anti-vaxxers' aim of creating doubt around the safety of vaccines. 'I've had the vaccine' Twibbons and Instagram filters could also help achieve this," CCDH writes.14

CCDH Promotes Draconian Censorship

Other recommendations issued by the CCDH include deplatforming anyone who questions vaccines. "Deplatforming works," they say, adding that:15

"The problem lies with a very small number of accounts. The 59 million followers of anti-vaxxer social media accounts identified in this report are following just 425 accounts, pages, groups and channels across Twitter, YouTube, Facebook and Instagram.

The 10 anti-vaxxers we track with the largest cross-platform followings make up the majority of the total audience for anti-vaxxers online. These are the 'superspreaders' of anti-vaxx misinformation.

As this report has demonstrated, anti-vaxxers are concerned by the prospect of losing their privileged position on social media platforms … the evidence is clear that the best way of preventing someone falling for a conspiracy theory is to prevent them from seeing it in the first place."

The CCDH also urges legislators to "hold platforms accountable" through fines and criminal sanctions, legal liability for forum administrators and/or "transparency for the online advertising world" — in other words, warn advertisers that the platform they're supporting with their advertising dollars is promoting "medical misinformation" and "anti-vaccine conspiracy theories."

I am surprised by their recommendation because to the best I can discern, ALL the major media platforms have already censored every major site that questions vaccines many months ago. They cannot censor them any more than they already are. Most of the YouTube, Facebook and Twitter accounts have been heavily censored or deplatformed.

Greenwald on Big Tech Censoring

In the video at the top of this article, UnHerd interviews Pulitzer Prize winning journalist Glenn Greenwald, who is one of my favorite articulate journalists. At the end of October 2020, Greenwald resigned from The Intercept — a publication he co-founded in 2014 — after the publication refused to publish an article in which he raised a critique against presidential candidate Joe Biden.16

According to Greenwald, the refusal to publish the piece violated his "contractual right of editorial freedom." In the interview, he stresses the dangers inherent with online censorship by big tech and social media platforms. Who should be in control of "the truth"? Can anyone really be designated as the ultimate source of truth, be it about vaccines or anything else?

What looks like a proven orthodoxy one month becomes a gross error the next, and that's exactly why things have to be debated rather than suppressed. ~ Glenn Greenwald

As noted by Greenwald, social media platforms claim the right to be the arbiters of truth by hiring so-called fact-checkers and relying on experts at the World Health Organization.

However, we have repeatedly seen the WHO issue statements that have turned out to be inaccurate or false — sometimes by their own admission — so just how reliable are they? By strictly sticking with the WHO's guidance and censoring everything else, the censors have in many instances promoted misinformation exclusively.

Greenwald gives the example of masks. In February and March 2020, the WHO did not recommend wearing face masks and actually warned they might be counterproductive. Now all of a sudden, masks are a must, even though the science hasn’t changed one bit.

In fact, the evidence that masks don't protect against viral transmission has only grown stronger. Early on the WHO also questioned whether human-to-human transmission was even possible and cast doubt on the true danger of the virus.

"That's the nature of human fallibility," Greenwald says. "What looks like a proven orthodoxy one month becomes a gross error the next, and that's exactly why these things have to be debated rather than suppressed."

Risks of Censorship Are Too Grave To Be Justifiable

When asked whether he believes nothing should ever be censored on health grounds, he wisely replies that not only do people need to rely on their own common sense when encountering information, but institutions also need to work to build credibility and public trust.

Indeed, refusing to hold a discussion about the scientific evidence does not build trust. Forcibly shutting down anyone who raises sensible questions does not build trust. Destroying the reputations and livelihoods of people who report on questions raised does not build trust.

In short, the medical industry, and the vaccine industry in particular, have severe trust and credibility deficits that they themselves created and continue to grow with the help of big tech and national intelligence agencies who are going to extreme lengths to prevent counter narratives from getting out.

Greenwald also points out that the U.S. has never before allowed government to intervene in the public discourse in this way. It should be undisputable that censorship is anathema to a democratically run, free and open society. While there may not be a benefit to allowing misinformation to be disseminated, the risks of censoring are simply too grave to be justifiable.

Big tech censorship is even more insidious than government censorship, because it's far more opaque. At least if the government says it's going to censor certain kinds of expression, there's some level of transparency in how that's being done.

Private tech companies, on the other hand, move the goal post at will, and they're never entirely clear about who will be censored, for what, exactly, or how. What's more, there's no real process for appeal. Greenwald points out that social media companies never really wanted to be in the position of being censors but were pressured into it by politicians, in some cases, and mainstream media journalists in others.

Journalists initially wanted to maintain control over the public discourse by restricting the competition's reach, and once social media companies relented and started censoring, the whole thing just snowballed and grew.

The problem we face now is that censorship fortifies power and is very difficult to end once it has taken hold. This in turn does not bode well for individual freedom or democracy as a whole. Censorship is a direct threat to both.

It also has a tendency to spread ever more widely, covering more and more topics as we go along. For example, there was active suppression and censorship of certain political issues leading up to the 2020 presidential election, and now there's censoring of evidence showing election interference. What will be next?

Technocratic Totalitarianism Is at Our Doorstep

The fact, then, that U.S. and U.K. intelligence agencies are getting involved in censoring should tell us something. It tells us it's not really about protecting public health. It's about strengthening government control over the population. The fact that intelligence agencies view vaccine safety advocates as a national security threat also tells us that government is now in the business of protecting private companies, essentially blurring the line between the two.

If you criticize one you criticize the other. In short, if you impede or endanger the profitability of private companies, you are now viewed as a national security threat, and this falls squarely within the parameters of technocracy, in which government is dissolved and replaced with the unelected leaders of private enterprise.

The right and freedom to critique one's government is a hallmark of democracy, so this state-sponsored war against truthful information is clear evidence of a radical turn toward technocratic totalitarianism. While the situation may appear hopeless, it's not yet too late to turn things around. For some encouragement, listen to Kennedy Jr.'s speech below.

Resistance is the only way forward, and one way you can resist censorship is to find ways around it. One such way is to subscribe to this newsletter, and any other newsletters you find interesting, and to share information you find valuable with your family and friends via more old-school means such as email and text message.

At the bottom of each page, you'll find an "Email Article" button that makes my articles easy to share. Also consider eliminating Facebook and all Google-based services to cut down on their data mining of your personal information, as all of it is being used against you in one way or another, whether you're aware of it or not.

source

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ariannjs · 5 years ago

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KARIN | A SasuSaku FanFic (10/10)

(Karin - Part 1 / Part 2 / Part 3 / Part 4 / Part 5 / Part 6 / Part 7 / Part 8 / Part 9)

——–

Hey guys! It's been a whiiiiile! I'm so sorry that I'm just uploading this now. To be honest, this epilogue has been finished since last August but idk I felt quite afraid to post it that I totally forgot all about it@.@ Nonetheless, here it isss! Accck I'm shy! HAHA. But here's a late New Year and Valentine's Gift to you all, SS fam!

Thank you for journeying with me as I wrote my very first multi-chaptered SasuSaku fic! I am extremely grateful for all of your encouraging comments on this and all my other works. 2019 has been really difficult but I praise God because this writing journey became highly therapeutic for me that it led me to meeting more SS fans as well! So yeah, Arigatou Gozaimashita!

Alright, I won't hold you back for long, here's the Epilogue of "Karin"! Enjoy!xx

——–

The only time that Sasuke Uchiha had felt incredibly nervous was back when his father was mentoring him on how to use Katon. Though many years had passed, he could still vividly remember that heart-pounding, stomach-twisting sensation of not knowing if he’d be able to produce an impressive result as his father’s eyes were fixated on him.

And now, he could feel the same thing with what he was planning to do.

Although they didn’t really have the best father-son relationship, he knew that if Fugaku Uchiha was still alive, he’s the best person who could give him the most logical advice that he needed at the moment, considering that they were, in many ways, similar in terms of their personality.

That’s why absurdly, he wished his father was here to tell him how to execute his plan in a step-by-step manner like how he passed on to him the Great Fireball Technique.

Sasuke wasn't the kind of person who finds asking questions necessary, a manifestation of the superiority that tended to be his facade even in his most vulnerable state. But if only he could, there were lots of questions that he would like to ask his Otou-san.

How exactly did father ask mother to marry him?

Did he feel as insanely apprehensive as I am right now?

Did mother actually say yes on father’s first attempt to ask?

How many chances does a man have anyway, just in case...just in case the woman says no?

These, and probably a lot more.

With thoughts all over the place, Sasuke fidgeted on the couch as he watched Sakura make funny faces at the giggling Suika on the floor of the Hozuki’s living room.

She’s still so annoying, he couldn’t help but think. Doesn’t she have the slightest idea about how much he was falling in love with her all the more each day?

Observing Sakura with Suika has been one of his favorite past times ever since the redhead baby was born. It just showed him much of the pureness of her heart towards people, children in particular. And it only solidified his resolve that he has made the right decision – probably the best in his life so far – about spending the rest of his life with his female teammate in his genin squad.

He planned to ask her that special question today, when the opportunity arises. His brain has been trying its best to figure out how to do so ever since he came out of the hospital weeks ago. But being Sasuke Uchiha, there was no grand preparation and sappy romantic gestures despite the ridiculous suggestions of his best friend and the disgusting persuasion of his sensei for him to read his favorite book. All he knew was it was completely fixed in his mind that this woman was the one he wanted to marry.

And today was the day that he’s gonna make Sakura Haruno say yes to being an Uchiha.

So while they were waiting for the Hozuki couple to finish packing their belongings, he was on the alert for any open chance to bring up his question in the same way he has his guard up whenever a possible enemy is lingering around.

“Is something bothering you, Sasuke-kun?”

Tch. Why does she have to know him so well?

He tersely shook his head, eyes on Suika who was curiously staring at him with her tiny hand in her mouth.

“You know I’m always here to listen when you’re ready.” Sakura showed that breathtaking smile of hers that seemed to be reserved just for him. TCH!

“Oh, you want to go to Uncle Sasuke? Okay! Okay! Stop bouncing!” She then giggled to the kid, leaned to carry her, and then placed her on Sasuke’s lap.

Suika stretched an arm out to reach for his face, and for a moment, it was effective in drawing his gaze away from Sakura. But the head medic moved closer to wipe the side of Suika's mouth with a bib as the baby babbled incoherent words.

For a second, Sasuke's mind went blank, bringing him to a different timeline wherein quite the same scene was happening as if he was in a genjutsu. It was breathtaking. His heart constricted with longing for the surreal image to become a reality, despite it being far-fetched.

Years ago, he never imagined that he would have the chance of having a family of his own. And yes, even up to now, the idea was still something that his mind wrestled to accept as something that he deserved.

But then, his eyes met Sakura’s once more. And just like all the other times that he has met her gaze, something inside him changed and made him feel like it's just so easy to drop all his hesitations because of her – for her.

“Sakura...I–”

“Wow! I can’t believe it’s our last day.”

Their heads suddenly whipped towards the bedroom door as their redhead friend exited, followed by her husband who had just finished sealing their baggage in a scroll.

Half irked yet half relieved with the interruption, Sasuke sighed as he handed the baby to her frowning mother. It was a good thing that Sakura didn't realize he was about to tell her something important.

Maybe later, then.

Suigetsu shrugged. "Some things really come to an end, Karin."

“That’s sadly true,” Sakura joined in the conversation, approaching the Hozuki matriarch to pass on the baby's bib. “But the good thing is that every time a season ends, a new one is about to begin.” She smiled at the woman who has become one of her closest friends.

It was saddening to see their family leave, but she’s just so excited for them to finally reside in a place they could truly call their home. Besides, they deserved it after everything they've been through individually and as a family.

“It’s time to go.” Everyone turned to the Uchiha who was already standing by the door.

So with a toothy grin, Suigetsu placed an arm around his wife’s shoulders before saying, “Let’s go, Karin. I’m excited for you and Suika to see Hidden Mist.”

The walk towards the gates of Konoha seemed like a trip down memory lane. So when they finally reached that familiar arc that welcomes and sends off Konoha's villagers and visitors, Karin wasn't able to stop herself from handing over Suika to her husband and then throwing her arms as tight as she could around Sasuke.

"Karin. How many times should I tell you to get off me, especially because you're a married woman?"

The redhead chuckled at that, amused with how detached he still was – well, except for a certain pink-haired maiden. "My husband wouldn't mind though!"

Sasuke rolled his eyes but found himself glancing at the other woman with them, wondering if she would mind about the situation. However, he only caught her laughing cutely at the ordeal. He couldn't bring himself to scoff.

Pulling away for the Uchiha to be comfortable, Karin sheepishly said, "Thank you so much for everything, Sasuke. I'm so glad that you've found redemption for yourself. No doubt, you'll be able to help more people inside and outside this village. Like us. I will never forget this."

Karin realized that staying in Konoha was the happiest moment of her life so far. And she knew that despite her initial doubts about the idea, everything wouldn’t happen if her husband didn’t force her to join Sasuke in going to this place for her and their baby's safety. Yet she never expected that the decision would be life-changing for all of them.

Suigetsu agreed with a nod. “Sasuke, you've done so much for us. I owe my family’s life to you. I honestly can't thank you enough."

The former leader of Team Taka was stunned at the way his teammates expressed their gratitude to him. He never even thought that there's anything anyone should thank him for. If anything, it was them that he should've thanked for they've shown him a glimpse of what a transformed life and an assured future look like. But as usual, he was not exactly good with words.

Remembering how they've witnessed the majority of his worst years yet they're still here to stand by him, Sasuke's eyes softened as he gave the couple a simple yet meaningful nod in response.

The pink-haired maiden beside him was smiling the entire time. Sakura didn't know all the details of Sasuke's journey with Taka, but to see him developing such strong bonds even outside of Team 7 was something that she considered a breakthrough. It gave her joy knowing that this scenario was an assurance to Sasuke that he won't ever be alone anymore.

"Before I forget, please bring these pills that would help in keeping you from the cold during your travels," Sakura then handed a small pouch to Karin. "This is helpful especially for Suika since this would be her first exposure to such cold weather."

If Karin was able to stop her tears from falling while talking to Sasuke, she wasn't able to contain it anymore while staring at the pouch given by Sakura. This woman has done so much in bringing out the best in her without her knowing. And so, she also enveloped her in an embrace that's so rare for Karin to give, well, except when it's for her husband and Sasuke.

“Sakura, you’ve saved my life not just once. And then you've shown me the kind of life I never imagined I could still have. Thank you for trusting me and for believing in my potential.” Karin sniffed while Sakura gave her a pat on the back, unable to stop a tear from falling as well. And then the redhead pulled away, instantly wiping her cheeks with the back of her hand with a big smile at her senpai. "I'm not usually like this but—ugh! It's because of the two of you!"

At her loud remark, Sasuke raised an eyebrow while Sakura ended up cackling with a hand on her stomach.

"Whew. At least it's not me this time." Suigetsu snickered too, rocking the baby in his arms that was awakened by the voice of her mother.

Karin almost landed a punch to her husband's liquefiable head, but thanks to Suika's sleepy murmur, she opted to avoid violence to carry the baby again. "Ssh. I'm sorry, kid. Mama's a little different today because of your godmother and godfather." She stuck a tongue out at the two and Sasuke could only snort as Sakura continued to laugh.

"Ha. Sorry, Karin could be crazy at times, or…" The Hozuki patriarch paused and pretended to contemplate. "...actually, most of the time."

"Hey! You're lucky I'm holding your daughter!"

"Kidding, guys. I love that woman nonetheless."

Sakura and Sasuke didn't fail to see the tinge of maroon on the redhead's cheeks before she turned around to hide it. Uncomfortable with such things, the Uchiha scoffed at the sight of his old teammates. But then, he slightly jerked as something hit his side almost close to his ribs.

When he shot a sharp glance at the woman beside him, Sakura was just smiling innocently at the Hozuki's. Yet this doctor might need to heal something later, courtesy of her pointed elbow.

Suigetsu noticed the interchange and smirked a little, having high hopes that one day, these two would finally end up like him and his wife. He then grinned. "But really, the two of you have made a difference in our lives. We'll surely remember this and even tell Suika one day. Sasuke, you better visit us in one of Orochimaru's hideouts. And then bring Sakura-san with you."

"As if I'd want to go back there."

Scrunching her nose, Sakura shivered at the prospect of being in the aforementioned place.

Karin wasn't able to stifle her guffaw as she faced her friends again. "But we don't know, Sasuke, what if you'd eventually need to visit? And that would be nice! I want Suika to meet you both one day!"

"Tch. You'd really want your daughter to grow up in that dumpsite?"

"Oi! You kind of grew up there too!" Suigetsu teased.

Staring blankly, Sasuke fought the urge to burn the couple with his powerful eyes for the sake of their daughter. And then he said, "You better leave now. It's almost dusk."

"Fine then, yes, sir!"

"Take care of your family, Suigetsu."

"Always. And you, take care of Sakura-san!" There was a smirk on Suigetsu's lips as Sasuke remained silent at that. But he knew full well, Sasuke would cross time and dimensions and even give his life just to protect Sakura. This time, his strength would be used not for his own selfish agenda, but for the sake of the people he cared for. Just like what he did for Suigetsu and his family.

"Oh. This is real now, isn't it?"

Sakura reached out and gave Karin's hand a squeeze, looking down on Suika who was now awake after all the commotion with her parents and godparents. A giggle escaped her tiny lips upon seeing Sakura, making Sakura frown a bit as her green eyes met the baby's purple ones. "Yes, it's real now, Karin. But this ain't goodbye. See you soon." She smiled one last time before moving aside, waving a small goodbye as the Hozuki's finally exited the village hidden in the leaves.

Sasuke and Sakura silently remained on their posts as the two figures became smaller from afar.

Until Sakura murmured, "They're such a beautiful family, aren’t they?" Slowly, Sasuke tilted his head to gaze at her. And at that very moment, everything felt right. He took in her beauty as the setting sun made her face glow and the breathing wind made her cherry blossom hair sway in slow motion. It reminded him of those times in his redemption journey that he marvelled at the sight of Cherry Blossom trees because it made him feel like she was beside him, albeit far away.

Now that it became real, he thought of how wonderful it would be to have more peaceful moments like this with her. So as they stood in the place where he first broke her heart, he finally chose to drop all hesitations so he could do what he wanted to accomplish before the day ends, with high hopes that he could also give Sakura a new memory with him in this place.

"Sakura. Do you...want to have something like that?" The Hozuki's were already out of sight but his first female teammate continued to stare at a distance. "A future family?" She smiled, clutching her hands to her chest as she thought of the only man she'd want to spend the rest of her life with. And then she said in a soft voice, “I've...I've always wanted to." "I want to have that too...with you."

With wide eyes, Sakura turned to Sasuke who was now looking at the path his friends walked on. There was no trace of humor on his face, only an expression that showed solace and expectancy. “S-sas—”

"But Sakura...it is clear as day that you deserve the best. And that’s...that’s not me." Sasuke’s gaze fell to the ground. "I'm not even exactly a good man, so I'm far from being the best for you. There were so many things that I've done that destroyed and hurt so many people, including you and the ones that you care for. So even though I'd...I'd really want a future with you, I don't think you deserve someone whose past is as wicked as mine."

"Sasuke-kun, all those is exactly what you've said – a part of the past. My love for you is not based on what you've done or what you would do. It's simply based on you, Sasuke-kun. Just you. Anything else doesn't matter, as long as...as long as I know that you deeply love me." She paused. "Do you love me?" There was a momentary pause as he looked up at her dazzling eyes. But it wasn’t because he was doubting his answer, for Sasuke has always been sure.

For a second, he wanted to chuckle at the irony that Sakura Haruno could read words and situations, analyze lab tests and battle strategies, but she couldn’t read and analyze the feelings that Sasuke Uchiha has for her.

It was not her fault that he hadn’t made himself crystal clear yet though.

So he thought of the best way to vividly convey his answer to her question and firmly address her uncertainties about her standing in his life all this time.

He then settled in responding through the best and significant way he knows. Smiling a little, he gently tapped her forehead right below the diamond-shaped mark of her strength before saying, "You should know that by now.”

Just like the first time Sasuke did this, Sakura's eyes widened and her lips parted a little as her cheeks became painted with pink. The only difference now was that she stared back at him with recognition, eyes brimming with tears of none other than joy. To know that her love was reciprocated for such a long time already made her feel elated more than ever.

For so many times, she has almost given up in waiting. But it was true all along, being loved back by the man she has always loved was worth the long wait. She regrets nothing for even after everything, it all came down to this. Sasuke looked away as he remembered something. "That time you've been avoiding me because of Karin...it made me realize that I couldn’t stand a life without you." He muttered something like "Never again" and then faced her with his mismatched eyes focusing intently – lovingly – on her green ones. "If you’re willing to make things work together with me...Sakura, marry me." Sakura's tears finally fell upon hearing those last words that she thought she would never hear from this man. She didn't even have to contemplate on what she would answer for she immediately said, "I could never imagine loving and marrying anyone else, Sasuke-kun."

And then she tapped his forehead in the same way he did with her, making Sasuke's eyes widen and his heart flutter in a way that he never felt before. His lips curved into a smile as he pulled her into a long embrace that surprised even him. But as Sakura melted in his arms as if she had always belonged there, he felt completely relieved that he got the answer he had prayed to receive from her. Maybe this was what Suigetsu had felt when Karin agreed to spend the rest of her life with him as well, he thought.

The satisfied smile on Sakura’s lips after they pulled away made Sasuke’s heart skip a beat. It still felt like he was dreaming, the fact that he was staring at his wife-to-be. “Let’s go home.”

“Yours or mine?”

Sasuke slowly grabbed her hand, after all, he has every right to do so now. “Ours. From now on, you have to be comfortable around the Uchiha compound. I’ll just walk you back to your place tonight.”

As the two of them walked hand in hand back to the village, two pairs of eyes continued to watch them from the nearby trees.

“Heh, Kakashi-sensei, this is a lot better than the last time the three of us were here with Karin, ‘ttebayo!”

——–

August 2019 | AriannJS

——–

8 chapters. 8 characters. 8 months. It's a wrap! *cries in G#m* This fic is now saying sayonara! But hmm...who knows, I might actually get to finish a one-shot sequel for this. Well, we'll see. ;) Arigatou Gozaimashita, mina-san! I appreciate you all!

- A

#SASUSAKU #sasusaku fanfics #ss fics #sakura haruno #sasuke uchiha #sakura uchiha #karin #ss fanfics #ss fanfiction #ariannjfics

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katiewattsart · 5 years ago

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25/03/20 : A RECAP

- Who Watches the Watchmen? - Power, Discourse, The Other

- Ever Tried. Ever Failed - Failure, Resilience, Sustainability

- Teddy Boys and Haul Girls - Subcultures, Resistance, Commodification

- Utopia and Dystopia - world-building, social justice

- Nothing is original and that’s ok - The Copy, Remix Cultures, Bricolage

- Hauntology and Nostalgia - Political Nostalgia, Subversion,

- Telling Stories - Narrative Theory, Narratives in practice, storytelling

Who Watches the Watchmen?

Power

Theorists Include:

Michel Foucault, Judith Butler, Laura Mulvey,

John Berger

Moral Panic

The Panopticon

Surveillance

Feminism

Sex/Gender

The Gaze

The Power of Looking

“Looking involves learning to interpret and, like other practices, looking involves relationships of power....

To be made to look, to try to get someone to look at you or at something you want to be noticed, or to engage in an exchange of looks, involves a play of power.”

Sturken, M. Cartwright, L. (2004) Practices of Looking

The Panopticon

Designed by British Jurist and social reformer Jeremy Bentham in 1791, as an architectural system of control and surveillance.

Used by Foucault to analyse systems of power, and the self-regulating society.

Section and plan of Jeremy Bentham’s Panopticon penitentiary, drawn by Willey Reveley, 1791

- Power is reinforced through language

- Bodies act under strict constraints of power exercised by institutions

- The Power of Subversion

- Gender is a social construct and is performative

- The structure of power is Patriarchal

POTENTIAL RESEARCH QUESTIONS

Drawing Power: How depictions of superheros have changed in the Marvel Universe from the 1960s to the present day

A post-structural analysis of Power and Illustration in the graphic novels of Frank Miller

Power Play: A history of Alan Moore mocking authority

Imbalance of power: Becoming Unbecoming and readdressing female histories

Chintz and power: Jim Shaw’s anti-fascist wallpapers

Political cartoons and the British Establishment, from William Hogarth to Steve Bell

Ever Tried. Ever Failed.

Trying and failing as art

Experimentation

Sustainability

Social Justice

Capitalism

The Process

Resilience

Artists Include: Beckett, Smithson, Ono, Signer, Banksy, Wei wei

failure:

1. Lack of success.

2. The neglect or omission of expected or required action.

3. The action or state of not functioning.

Oxford living dictionaries

Guerilla Design

Chapitre Zero (2013)

Furniture designers Duccio Maria Gambi/Mattia Paco

Salvages wooden pallets, unwanted furniture, and assorted pieces of wood

Create urban public furniture to create ‘social spaces’ in Paris.

Sustaining Culture?

Justin Gignac, New York City Garbage (2001)

POTENTIAL RESEARCH QUESTIONS

Tru Try and Try again: why those who keep going get the most done

From one to many: how Greta Thunberg’s perseverance made a difference in a world of indifference

Resilience and Sustainability are the tools we need for surviving the future

We Make Our Luck: the aggregation of Marginal Gains

Say Nothing, Do Nothing, Be Nothing: the purpose of the Crit in Art and Design

Teddy Boys and Haul Girls: Subcultures

Subcultures

Subversion

Bricolage

Youth Culture

Dominant/Deviant culture

Conspicuous Consumption

Punk

Culture Jamming

Utopia/Dystopia

Theorists/ Artists Include: Hebdige, Williams, Leckey, Banksy, Warhol, Adbusters

Dominant culture: a dominant culture is one that is able, through economic or political power, to impose its values, language, and ways of behaving on a subordinate culture or cultures. This may be achieved through legal or political suppression of other sets of values and patterns of behaviour, or by monopolizing the media of communication.

Dominant culture. A Dictionary of Sociology. . Encyclopedia.com.

ubculture: Subcultures are smaller groups within the larger culture that have slightly different—or additional—traditions and ideas. They tend to share much in common with the larger culture and typically interact with members of the majority on a regular basis. Most people belong to at least one group that can be classified as a subculture.

Feminist Critique:

The role of women/girls is largely ignored.

The experience of youth is gendered.

Wider gender politics can be investigated through the study of youth subcultures.

This is England (2007) Shane meadows:

youtube

Haul Girls

“In fact, the closest thing to the old model of a subculture I've come across is Helina and the haul girls. Their videos are about conspicuous consumption: a public display of their good taste, carefully assembled with precise attention to detail. When you put it like that – and at the risk of incurring a fatwah from middle-aged Paul Weller fans – they sound remarkably like mods.”

-Alexis Petridis

Conspicuous Consumption:

..is a term introduced by the Norwegian-American economist and sociologist Thorstein Veblen in his book "The Theory of the Leisure Class" (1899). The term refers to consumers who buy expensive items to display wealth and income rather than to cover the real needs of the consumer.

POTENTIAL RESEARCH QUESTIONS

Cosplay and the Carnival: Counter culture as the World Turned Upside Down

Representations of Subculture in Film, Theatre and Costume/Illustration

England’s Dreaming: Punk as a critique of Thatcherism and the rise the Me Generation

Dressing/Drawing Working Class Subcultures from 1950 to 2000: An Artifact

This Is England: From Skins to The Inbetweeners, a cultural reading of England’s youth culture

Art & Artifice: a discussion of representations of young people and material culture from Annie Swynnerton to Andy Warhol

Utopia and Dystopia

World-Building

Social Justice

Critiques of culture

Art and Crisis

Transformative design

Theorists include: Thomas Moore, Philip K. Dick, Ernst Bloch..

Sir Thomas More 1477-1535

- First person to write about Utopia - a perfect imaginary world

- Greek - Ou-topos - No place, or Nowhere

- Eu-topos- A good place

Can a perfect place ever be realised?

Utopia means nowhere or no place. It has often been taken to mean good place, through confusion of its first syllable with the Greek eu as in euphemism or eulogy. As a result of this mix up, another word, dystopia, has been invented, to mean bad place. But, strictly speaking, imaginary good places and imaginary bad places are all utopias, or nowheres.

- John Carey

The Garden of Earthly Pleasures -Hieronymus Bosch circa 1490-1510

UTOPIAS IN FILM

POTENTIAL RESEARCH QUESTIONS

I Am The Architect: The Role of the Designer in Dystopia

Fashioning Utopia: How costume design in Science Fiction helps us reimagine the world

Interior Identities: How the inner spaces of our lives tell the narrative of our times

Digital Dystopia: How the Ghost In The Machine Became A Trope of the Internet Age

The Perfect Palette: The search for Utopia on the canvases of the Stanley Spencer

NOTHING IS ORIGINAL - and that’s ok!

The Remix

Hauntology

Appropriation

Nostalgia

The Copy

Sampling

Theorists/Artists Include: David Lynch, Kenneth Goldsmith, Simon Reynolds, Mark Fisher.

WHAT IS ORIGINALITY?

How would you define originality?

Should we try and pursue originality?

Does originality exist?

If so, what does it look like?

POTENTIAL RESEARCH QUESTIONS

Steal Like an Artist: How Our Influences Make Us Who We Become

Copy Paste Culture: How Rap Reflects the Wider Art World of the 1980’s and Beyond

Youtube Made Me Hardcore: How Access to Everyday Editing Software Made Everyone an Artist

Hauntology and Nostalgia

Nostalgia

Hauntology

Politicisation

Style and Aesthetic

Commodification

Reflexive/restorative

Theorists include: Svetlana Boym, Mark Fisher, Jacques Derrida

NOSTALGIA AS DOMINANT MODE

How do explain the large number of works based on pre-existing work?

Why do you think that adaptations are the dominant product in today’s media market?

Two Types of Nostalgia

estorative:

“puts emphasis on nostos (returning home) and proposes to rebuild the lost home and patch up the memory gaps.” (Boym)

Reflective:

“Reflective nostalgia, on the other hand, “dwells in algia (aching), in longing and loss, the imperfect process of remembrance.”

“Personal nostalgia can be used therapeutically to help individuals move beyond trauma” (Batcho, 2017)

Historically being nostalgic or using nostalgia as a form of expression in art or literature has not been seen as a good thing, rather it’s been viewed as the antithesis of progression and innovation. Miuccia Prada once said ‘nostalgia is a very complicated subject for me. I'm attracted by nostalgia but I refuse it intellectually.’

Definition of Hauntology

Hauntology is a philosophical concept referring to the return or persistence of elements from the past, as in the manner of a ghost. The term was coined by French philosopher Jacques Derrida in his 1993 book Spectres of Marx.

Broadly speaking, the notion that the present is haunted by lost futures

POTENTIAL RESEARCH QUESTIONS

The Machine in The Ghost: Digital and Analogue Traces in the Art and Films of David Lynch

Breaking the Future: How Nostalgia and Hauntology has Led to an Influx of Genre Movies and Remakes, and What Can be Done to Change It

The Effects of Nostalgia: Instagram and the Filter

Telling Stories

The Mainstream

Narrative

Provocation/Disruption

Street Art

The Spectacle

Theorists/Artists include: Kruger, Banksy, Warner, Anderson, de Certeau, Georges Perec,

Texts’ that could hold a narrative?

…novels, comics, films, tv series, plays, films, children’s books, animation, games, photographs, news stories, magazine covers, folktales and myths, book covers, paintings, editorial illustrations, window displays, packaging, logos…

The Culture Industry

How might film be seen as an ideological tool, then and now?

CRAFTING NARRATIVE

Exploring how makers and designers are using objects and making ,to tell stories.

POTENTIAL RESEARCH QUESTIONS

Costume as Character in Game Of Thrones

Grayson Perry as Storyteller: Culture Captured in Ceramics and tapestry

Dressing the Window: Narratives on Display

Suffragette Jewellery and the Story of Adornement as Dissent in Early 20th Century Britain

ALL UR VIRAL PHENOMENA R BELONG 2 US

Networks

Collective Understanding

Viral Phenomena

Populism

Digital Culture

User Content

Memes

Satire

Viral phenomena are objects or patterns that are able to replicate themselves or convert other objects into copies of themselves when these objects are exposed to them. They get their name from the way that viruses propagate

“Breaking the Internet”: The narratives of Viral media

Why do things go viral?

- Relatability

- Empathy

- Irony / irreverence

- Political meaning

- Humour

- ‘Smarts’

The word meme was coined by Richard Dawkins in his 1976 book The Selfish Gene as an attempt to explain the way cultural information spreads; such as beliefs, fashions, stories, and phrases

POTENTIAL RESEARCH QUESTIONS

The Viral Marketing campaigns of JJ Abrams

The Meme is Dead, Long Live the Meme! How Do We Keep up with the means of communication when the means of communication change on a Daily Basis?

HASHTAGS: Friends or Enemies?

The Rise of Cancel Culture and Implications for Critical Thinking

ESSAY PREPERATION

What do you want to explore?

theme/idea

artist/designer

object/image

These Questions should now:

- guide your research and keep you focused.

- What information are you lacking, and where do you need to go to get it?

- Brainstorm a list of Questions, considering whether you need to:

Analyse

Appraise

Assess

Compare

Contrast

Criticise

Define

Discuss

Describe

Examine

Explain

Indicate

Illustrate

Interpret

Judge

Justify

Outline

Refute

State

Summarise

Trace

Title/Question

Be concise and explicit. This is a working title/question.

EG. Who Decides Who Decides?

Critiquing power in the Marvel Cinematic Universe

Keywords

Include here any words you think will help you identify the research you want to undertake.

EG. Power, Foucault, Surveillance, war on terror, citizen activism, superheroes

introduction/Questions

Use this section to introduce the questions and any issues that are central to your research.

EG. This paper explores the ways in which power is exercised in the MCU, and compares the films to the source comics to see how the two mediums differ

Background

What are the key texts and approaches in the field? How does your proposal extend our understanding of particular questions or topics? You need to set out your research questions as clearly as possible, explain problems that you want to explore and say why it is important to do so. In other words, think about how to situate your project in the context of your discipline.

EG. Watchmen by Alan Moore & Dave Gibbons; V for Vendatta etc, Crisis on Infinite Earths

DEVELOPING YOUR RESEARCH QUESTION

5Ws: answer the following questions:

Who does your topic impact?

Who cares about your topic?

What is influenced by or influences your topic?

Where is your topic relevant?

Why is your topic important?

You could try free writing!

Write continuously for a set amount of time without stopping. Ignore grammar and spelling. Write what you know and identify gaps and questions to pursue.

Or mind mapping!

A visual form of brainstorming. Include related subtopics, concepts and words and connect to them to your topic.

TASK

Before next session:

Brainstorm and mind map your ideas

Gather images, quotes

fill in your research proposal for GCOP200

(as much as you can)

Bring it all with you to your seminar

#gcop200

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antoine-roquentin · 6 years ago

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Author Richard Beck, in We Believe the Children: A Moral Panic in the 1980s, locates the roots of the McMartin conspiracy theory in the social progress of the previous decade—particularly in the gains won by women. “In the ’80s you had a strong, vicious anti-feminist backlash that helped conspiracies take hold,” Beck tells me. “In the ’70s, middle- and upper-middle-class women had started to enter the full-time workforce instead of being homemakers.” This was the dawn of what the economist Claudia Goldin has termed “the quiet revolution.” Thanks in part to expanding reproductive freedom, career horizons had widened sufficiently by the end of the 1970s for women to become, in Goldin’s words, “active participants who bargain somewhat effectively in the household and the labor market.” They were now forming their identities outside the context of the family and household.

The patriarchal family was under siege, as conservatives saw it, and day-care centers had become the physical representation of the social forces bedeviling them. “You had this Reagan-driven conservative resurgence,” Beck says, “and day care was seen as at least suspicious, if not an actively maligned force of feminism.”

Day care held a prominent place in right-wing demonology. As far back as the 1960s, conservatives were warning darkly that child care “was a communist plot to destroy the traditional family,” as sociologist Jill Quadagno writes in The Color of Welfare. In 1971, President Richard Nixon vetoed the Comprehensive Child Development Act, which would’ve established a national day-care system. In his veto message, Nixon used the Red-baiting language urged upon him by his special assistant, Pat Buchanan, saying the program would’ve committed “the vast moral authority of the national government to the side of communal approaches to child-rearing against the family-centered approach.” In a decade of rising divorce rates, at least conspiracism and reactionary social conservatism could enjoy a happy marriage. By the time Judy Johnson came forward in 1983 with allegations that a teacher at the McMartin preschool had molested her child, the country had been primed to assume the worst by more than a decade of child-care fearmongering.

Certainly it wasn’t just the movement of women into the workplace that created the conditions for a reactionary panic. There were other cultural forces at work. The anti-rape campaign of the 1970s, historian Philip Jenkins writes in Moral Panic, had “formulated the concepts and vocabulary that would become integral to child-protection ideology,” in particular a “refusal to disbelieve” victims. The repressed-memory movement of that era had created a therapeutic consensus surrounding kids’ claims of molestation: “Be willing to believe the unbelievable,” as the self-help book The Courage to Heal put it. “Believe the survivor…No one fantasizes abuse.” And the anti-cult movement of the late 1970s had raised the specter of satanic cabals engaging in human sacrifice and other sinister behavior.

Beck likens conspiracy theories to parables. The ones that stick are those that most effectively validate a group’s anxieties, with blame assigned to outsiders. In a 2017 paper on Pizzagate and pedophile conspiracies, psychology professor Jim Kline, now at Northern Marianas College, argues that conspiracy theories “are born during times of turmoil and uncertainty.” In an interview, Kline goes further: “Social turmoil can overwhelm critical thinking. It makes us get beyond what is logically possible. We go into this state of hysteria and we let that overwhelm ourselves.”

The McMartin accusations were a vivid demonstration of the rot in the American social structure, as perceived by conservatives. Perhaps inevitably, the claims metastasized. Now it was hundreds of children who had been assaulted and subjected to satanic rituals, and now, instead of just one McMartin teacher, there was an entire sex ring involved. One boy told of adults in masks and black robes dancing and moaning; of live rabbits chopped to bits by candlelight. “California’s Nightmare Nursery,” People magazine called it. But soon the case began to fall apart. The stories of abuse turned out to have been coaxed out of children by way of dubious and leading questioning. Judy Johnson, who made the initial accusations that her son had been molested, was found to be a paranoid schizophrenic. In 1986, a district attorney dropped charges—at one point there had been 208 counts in all—against all but two of the original defendants. A pair of trials ended in 1990 with the juries deadlocking on some charges and acquitting on the others. After seven years and $15 million in prosecution costs, the remaining charges were dropped.

However flimsy its premises, the case whipped up a national panic. In 1985, a teacher’s aide in Massachusetts was wrongly convicted of molesting 3-, 4-, and 5-year-old boys and girls; the prosecutor had told the jury that a gay man working in a day care was like a “chocoholic in a candy store.” Around that time, employees at Bronx day-care centers were arrested for allegedly sexually abusing children. Five men were sentenced before all ultimately saw their convictions overturned.

Liberals certainly participated in the hysteria—Gloria Steinem donated money to the McMartin investigation—but by and large it was a reactionary phenomenon. What drove the panic, Beck says, wasn’t just the sense that children were being harmed. “It’s that families were being harmed.”

In 2016, three decades after the McMartin trial, WikiLeaks, in cahoots with Russian hackers, published the private emails of top Hillary Clinton adviser John Podesta. In one, Podesta is invited to a fundraiser at Comet Ping Pong. Amateur internet sleuths blew it up into a conspiracy theory about a child-sex ring. The pedophiles communicated in code: “hotdog” meant “young boy”; “cheese” meant “little girl”; “sauce” meant “orgy.” The theory was easily debunked. Eventually it was abandoned by the high-profile internet figures who’d initially given it oxygen, but not before Pizzagate, as it was immediately dubbed, had spilled over into reality. In December 2016, a 28-year-old man named Edgar Maddison Welch, having driven from North Carolina to Washington, DC, fired an assault rifle inside Comet in a bid to rescue the children he thought were locked away there. No one was hurt. Welch was sentenced to four years in prison.

The QAnon conspiracy picked up where Pizzagate left off, alleging that the liberal elite’s pedophile ring extends way beyond one restaurant and that it is only a matter of time before Trump arrests Podesta, Clinton, and other Democratic power brokers for their crimes. All of this was fueled by an anonymous internet poster dubbed Q, who claims to be a government insider.

With Pizzagate and QAnon, the molesters have changed from day-care workers to the liberal elite, and the politics behind the theories now are more explicitly spelled out. But the general context is more or less the same: conservative retrenchment after a period of progressive social gains. If women’s entry into the workplace in the latter half of the 20th century triggered deep anxieties about the decay of traditional gender roles and the family unit, in the 21st century it was same-sex marriage, growing acceptance of transgender rights, and the seeming cultural hegemony of a social justice agenda. “Q found that fear,” says Travis View, a conspiracy theory researcher and a host of the QAnon Anonymous podcast.

“While Q directly never touches on trans rights or those sorts of things, there is a great deal of anxiety on those sorts of issues,” he says, referring to the QAnon community at large. “They’re concerned generally on the sort of acceptance of trans people and the oversexualization of children.” On the matter of transgender rights, the conspiracists are aligned with “normal” conservative politics; from the state legislatures to the White House, Republicans have made considerable hay out of attacking and overturning various protections that had been extended to trans people.

Conspiracy theories of all kinds draw their energy from social anxieties. Occasionally there is some real basis for the theories. In her book, Republic of Lies: American Conspiracy Theorists and Their Surprising Rise to Power, Anna Merlan details the belief among black New Orleanians after Hurricane Katrina that the city’s levees hadn’t failed on their own—they had been bombed intentionally to destroy the poor parts of New Orleans. The theory was “rooted in a real event—a 1927 decision to dynamite levees outside of New Orleans, the logic there being that they were going to flood low-lying areas and save the city itself,” Merlan said in an interview with Mother Jones’ Becca Andrews. “[I]t created a lingering sense of suspicion that maybe the government would do this again.”

View points out that the concern about elites preying on children isn’t baseless, either. “The core of elements of the systematic elite child abuse theories—they aren’t crazy,” he says. “There are instances of wealthy powerful abusing children and other people covering it up. Jeffrey Epstein, the Catholic Church. People have the sense that elites can commit horrifying crimes and get away with them.” The Epstein arrest earlier this month has done much to ratify the QAnon worldview. “This is just the beginning,” declared QAnoner Liz Crokin, a former gossip journalist. “The Storm is officially here.”

And thus does the legitimate concern about elite predation and impunity get woven into a demeaning and dangerous social crusade. The “Storm” cited by Crokin—also known as “The Great Awakening”—is part of the vivid eschatology that QAnon adherents share with traditional conservative culture warriors, one in which judgment is at last be rendered against liberals, and the nuclear family is restored to its proper place. “One thing they often talk about after ‘The Storm’ is that they imagine that the economy will be restored so that a single income can support a family again,” View says. “They imagine traditional gender roles and norms will be upheld and how children are raised will return to what [it] used to be.”

The differences between the pedophile conspiracies of the 1980s and those of today are telling in their own way. There’s the matter of scale. The pedophile witch hunt of the ’80s managed to mobilize entire institutions, with much of the media uncritically amplifying its falsehoods and police taking action based on shoddy nonevidence. Lives were ruined around the country. But except for some reckless far-right pundits and websites, the media hasn’t taken the claims of Pizzagate and QAnon seriously. Earnest conversations about the conspiracies are limited to online image boards and social media.

There’s also the nature of the targets. Where the pedophile conspiracies of the 1980s attacked the institutional emblems of feminist progress, the pedophile conspiracies of the 2010s attack the cultural emblems of creeping cosmopolitanism. The ritual abuse of the 1980s supposedly happened in the suburbs in state or state-licensed institutions such as schools and child-care facilities. Today the abuse happens in businesses in cosmopolitan cities. Comet Ping Pong, in the Chevy Chase neighborhood of DC, is known as a welcoming space that regularly showcases progressive DIY artists and musicians—“a tangible emblem,” in the words of University of New Haven sociology professor Jeffrey S. Debies-Carl, “of inclusivity, tolerance, and other progressive values that are threatening to the conspiracy-prone alt-Right.”

British historian Norman Cohn, in his book Europe’s Inner Demons, finds elements of pedophile conspiracies throughout history. In the 1st century B.C., members of the Catiline conspiracy, an aristocratic plot to overthrow the Roman Republic, supposedly swore an oath over the entrails of a boy and then ate them. And in the witch hunts of the 15th–17th centuries, tens of thousands of people were tortured and killed over allegations that they’d performed ritual child murder, among other heinous acts.

The conspiracy theories documented by Cohn are fundamentally political. The rituals they describe are the means “by which a group of conspirators affirms its solidarity,” he writes, with the ultimate goal of overthrowing “an existing ruler or regime and to seize power.” The mass witch hunts that followed are political too, based on the “demonological obsessions of the intelligentsia.” The history of American political reaction is full of sex demons. Jim Crow was buttressed by myths about black male virility. Likewise, North Carolina’s infamous bathroom bill was sold in part on the fear that predatory men could say they’re transgender to gain access to women’s bathrooms. Opponents of abortion rights continue to conjure gory fantasies of promiscuous women committing “infanticide,” an incitement that Trump turned into an applause line in an April rally.

In this way, pedophile conspiracies act as a sort of propaganda of the counterrevolution, a fun-house reflection of the real threats to the social order. This is what connects QAnon and Pizzagate to McMartin to the witch hunts of the Middle Ages to the dawn of major religions. The demons may take different forms, but the conspiracy is basically the same: Our house is under attack.

“Decay of morals grows from day to day,” goes one despairing account. A secret cabal is wreaking havoc across the land, the man complains to his friend. Its members “recognize one another by secret signs and marks,” and “everywhere they introduce a kind of religion of lust” that subverts “ordinary fornication.” There is a rumor that they worship the “private parts of their director and high priest.” Maybe the rumor is false, “but such suspicions naturally attach to their secret and nocturnal rites.”

In this dialogue, written by Marcus Minucius Felix in the 2nd century, the Roman pagan Caecilius Natalis speaks of Christians the way Pizzagaters described John Podesta and his fellow liberal elite. Natalis is particularly incensed by the cult’s initiation ritual. The details are as “revolting as they are notorious”: New members are initiated into the cult, he reports, by stabbing and killing an infant who has been coated in dough.

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rivkyschleider · 5 years ago

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Annotated Bibliography

Winnicott, D. (1986) Home is where we start from. England: London

In this collection of essays we learn of Winnicott’s key teachings, presented to a lay audience. He explains attachment theory, the ‘good enough environment’, the contribution of the Mother to society, adolescence and the relationship between the individual and their facilitating family group. He explores concepts of health versus illness through his lens as a psychoanalyst in addition to to his medical background. It is extremely helpful to see how foundation concepts of personality, the very make up of human emotional development can be applied to such a variety of cultural topics such as monarchy, the Pill and mathematics. He brings clarity to these issues and offers me a model for applying depth of insight about the subconscious and the effect of early childhood environment on later life. By uncovering gaps or repression in the individual’s psyche the psychotherapist can facilitate milestones of developmental progress, albeit at a later stage of maturation.

Yalom, I. (2002) The Gift of Therapy. US: HarperCollins

This is a handbook of 85 tips and instructions built upon 35 years of clinical practice and teaching. He paints a picture of a therapist in a way that inspires me to rise to the challenge of training and the ongoing character growth that is so crucial to this profession. He promotes curiosity, humility and transparency, and breaks away the the image of the therapist as an all-knowing provider of interpretations, or a blank canvas to absorb transference. He gives a practical guide for mining the here-and-now aspects of the therapeutic encounter to further the process of therapy. He describes tools for incorporating the therapist’s own feelings into the mix as well as how to explore dream material, how to take a history and how to look at their present; how their daily life is organised and peopled. He writes with deep pride on the privilege of helping others find meaning, health and joy.

Skynner, Cleese (1983) Families and how to Survive Them London: Vermilion

This was a a whistle-stop tour through all the major themes of child development, identity, attraction, relationships and family dynamics written as a conversation between Robin Skynner, a psychotherapist and John Cleese his former patient. They discuss the continuum that exists with optimally healthy families at one end; dysfunctional families with inter-generational problems at the other; and the “normal” families in the middle in which we see an expected mix of ‘screened off’ feelings alongside coping mechanisms, defenses and social norms to smooth the way. Skynner draws on Freudian ideas as well as later work by more recent therapists and analysts who looked at how families work as a system. Each part affects all other parts of the system. By considering inter-relationships through the eyes of a typical family we can learn about letting go of inherited mistakes and move forward to optimal family life.

Van Der Kolk, B. The Body Keeps the Score, United Stares: Penguin

This book is about how trauma impacts a person causing long term suffering to victims, their families and future generations. Using scientific methods such as brain scans and clinically sound investigations, Van Der Kolk looks at how the mind and body are transformed by traumatic events; how neural networks are formed as coping mechanisms and may later morph into unwanted behaviours. This is followed by a paradigm of treatment that seeks to give individual patients ownership of their narrative, their bodies and a route to self awareness and healing. Yoga, EMDR, neurofeedback and theater are offered as examples of pathways to recovery and I believe that art therapy is another good candidate for an embodied type of therapy, one that does not rely on talking alone. This book answered questions about my own pattern of mild symptoms and has opened up the whole field of mind/body connection in relation to trauma and healing.

Axline, V.M. (1964) Dibs In Search of Self. London: Penguin

Virginia M. Axline has written the true story of Dibs, her client; a talented and sensitive child who was trapped in isolation due to the lack of emotional connection in his life. Through psychotherapy - play therapy to be precise - he regained his sense of self and was eventually able to thrive, utilise his gifted nature and contribute to society. It is an eloquent case study obliquely laying out the principles of play and art therapy. The therapist built the safe environment in which the child could open up and slowly verbalise his deeply felt emotions. reparation with his parents blossoms. It is notable that the therapist made it safe for Dibs to express negativity. This teaches us to think about hostility as a sign sometimes of adequate ego strength for the feelings to be articulated. In that sense, aggression is a sign of health! This book is a beautiful testimony to the power of psychotherapy to transform lives.

Malchiodi, C. (2011) Trauma Informed Art Therapy and Sexual Abuse in Children. In: Goodyear-Brown, P. (ed.) Handbook of Child Sexual Abuse: Identification, Assessment and Treatment. United states: John Wiley & Sons

This chapter deals with how art therapy helps children who have suffered sexual abuse to articulate their sometimes unutterable experiences in a manner that the therapist can understand while within what is tolerable for the child. Trauma informed art therapy involves using art materials to address hyper-arousal and to teach relaxation, referencing the specific neuro circuit that is activated by hands on activities of a soothing nature. The sensory and tactile qualities of art materials need to be taken into consideration, how they are central to trauma recovery, but equally how they may trigger memories of distressful events. The somatic approach, using colour and shape enables children to locate the place in the body where trauma is held so they can learn to diminish distress. The author comments on the relevance of culturally sensitive materials and projects. This has been a rich article for me, linking my reading on trauma, with art therapy for a client group I may want to work with in the future.

Cane, F. (1951) The Artist in Each Of Us. United States: Art Therapy Publications

This book bridges art and therapy. It aims to give the reader a means to achieving a richer art and a more integrated life. It looks at how movement, feeling and thought work together. I was intrigued to read detailed technical instructions for accessing subconscious material which can be used to reach higher levels of artistic expression and also personal healing. The case studies record the progress of her students and how transcendence was coaxed up through fantasy, play, rhythmic movements, chanting and other indirect means until it could be released for union with the conscious. I tried out some of these techniques and was surprised to discover not only the catharsis, but also the unexpected outcomes of artwork spontaneously arising from my own psychological material. It shows me how the perceptive teacher can awaken in her students their own creativity and direct them to find solutions for subtle or complex inner dilemmas.

Dalley, T. (ed.) (1984) Art as Therapy. An Introduction to the use of art as a therapeutic technique. London: Routledge

This book is an introduction to the theories that underpin art therapy and is broad in it’s range of contributing authors. We get an outline of the role of art within a therapeutic framework, the manifestation of art as play, as a language of symbols and development. The historical links between art education and art therapy are explored; the differences and what they have in common; and a possibility for merging the two fields. Each chapter on a specific client group offers insights for working with these vulnerable people in a way that will give direct therapeutic benefit.

I found the chapter on art therapy in prisons to be particularly enlightening. The author was clear about the actual constraints of working in that environment, what the pitfalls might be and she presented practical guidance on overcoming them. She promotes a vision for how arts can transform the most ant-social of prisoners into creative, productive people; this raises pertinent questions for the current justice system.

Price, J. (1988) Motherhood, What it Does to Your Mind London: Pandora Press

A fascinating book delving into the psychology of mothering written by a female psychiatrist and psychotherapist. It ties up the concepts of attachment theory with the realities of modern relationships and societal expectations. It is presented through the lens of a Woman, a woman who lived through her own mother-daughter dynamic, pregnancy, giving birth, breast feeding and the like. She looks at how our culture and family story play out in our own lives whether consciously or unconsciously. By normalising much of the natural difficulties of mothering, this book can offer solace in trying times.

I am a mother of four boys and pregnant with my fifth child, so I am justified to claim that his book ought to become mainstream knowledge. It is through lived experiences that we can most genuinely form opinions and then reach out to help others in a professional capacity.

Case, C. Dalley, T. (1992) The Handbook of Art Therapy London: Routledge

This handbook is a bird’s eye view of the profession. It covers the theories of psychoanalysis and how it intersects with art as well as a detailed look at the practical aspects of employment as an art therapist in jargon-free language. This gives a beginner art therapist a survival guide for those inevitable first forays into work. I gained a grasp on the complexities surrounding room set-up or lack of appropriate dedicated space. A how-to guide on various forms of note taking making use of the same example session throughout the different formats was extremely helpful. There is clear preparation for supervision, referrals, working in an institution, operating as part of a team versus being isolated and potentially being misunderstood. Reading this was an important step towards becoming a competent practitioner.

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transcendence-au · 6 years ago

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The Manor of Alcor (10/10)

Also on ff.net and AO3

The police and ambulance came an hour later. After intensive questioning, they had to spend the remainder of the day and night at the hospital. Or at least Orrie and Mr. Goodman had to. Dipper (unsurprisingly, Orrie thought to himself with a tiny snort) didn’t have any injuries whatsoever to need a room, and Belle’s were mild enough that the doctors let her leave the same evening after thorough treatment. So it was just him and Mr. Goodman who would have to stay behind. For Orrie it was to heal his broken arm. He’d be continued to be looked after until his parents arrived the next morning. Mr. Goodman, on the other hand, was quite old, so the staff wanted to make certain he was fit enough before discharging him.

Orrie let out a tired sigh, staring at his arm. He was so glad magic technology was becoming more widely used in hospitals; injuries and broken bones could heal nearly twice as fast than they could normally. But the magitech cast had to be worn at all times, and so it was a bit difficult trying to fall asleep with it on and its constant low humming.

He leaned back, trying to get comfortable on the hospital bed. He stared out the window. The moon and stars were remarkably bright tonight; Orrie wondered if Belle and Dipper were looking at them now. He wondered how they were coping. Was this normal for them? Maybe– they did speak a lot about their earlier adventures before. But they had been just as scared as he was confronting the cultists, just as pained and outraged to see innocents die. Orrie choked momentarily thinking about Flynn. He…he never wanted to go through something like that ever again.

A knock on the door disturbed him from his darkening thoughts. “Do you need anything for the night?” the nurse asked with a smile. Orrie shook his head.

“No thank you. I’m good.”

“Alright. Will the cast make it hard for you to get some rest?”

“Um…yeah, actually.” She nodded understandingly, turning to the tablet in her hand.

“This should help. We understand these devices can be quite noisy, so they have built in therapeutic charms to ease with sleeping.” She drew some sort of design on the tablet, which activated the cast into glowing a soft green. Orrie could feel the calming effects immediately. “Better?” “Much.” She bade him goodnight, and Orrie soon after drifted into blissful slumber.

After a morning breakfast and one final check-up, Orrie found himself sitting in the front lobby. He felt self-conscious of the fact he was a boy with a broken arm sitting by himself in a surprisingly busy lobby. Correction: a teenager with a broken arm sitting by himself. Fortunately, most of the people passing were nurses and doctors coming in for their morning shift and not patients in dire need, but he could still feel their curious glances toward him. He kept his eyes averted, staring as best he could out the giant window panel.

The seat cushion sank a bit as someone sat beside him. Orrie looked up. “Mr. Goodman. How are you feeling?”

“Oh, I’ll be fine,” the old man answered, resting his arms in his lap. Orrie felt the edges of his lips twitch, but he couldn’t bring himself to give a genial smile. They sat in silence. “…And you?” Mr. Goodman asked eventually. Orrie jerked, caught off guard since he thought the conversation had stopped.

“Uh, fine. Just…just waiting for my parents.” He leaned back on one arm to make it look like he was totally indifferent about waiting for them, not at all like he was feeling awkward being around the man. Not that Mr. Goodman was a bad person—at least, Orrie was pretty sure about that; Terry had been holding him hostage as well—but…what do you say to the person who just lost his business in a single night? What do you say to the person who, through no ill intent whatsoever, nearly caused you to die and did get several others killed? What do you say to—

“I don’t think Neil ever intended one of his descendants to experience the horrors he had.” Orrie looked up.

“What?”

Mr. Goodman gave him a small, sad smile. “Neil Gogh. My ancestor. I don’t think he ever wanted this to happen.” He stared at his hands. “He realized too late after killing his dear friends what absolute power can do to the mind and soul. It corrupts you, twists you to the point that you might as well be a different person entirely. They were on the verge of capturing one of the most powerful entities in existence and make him bend to their will. In the end he gained no power, lost all his closest allies, and had to go into hiding just to remain free.”

Mr. Goodman exhaled deeply. “I think it was the news report that was the final nail on the coffin for him. To read in full detail the murders of his friends, killed by his own selfish doings. He settled down in a large city miles away. He adopted a new identity. He tried to live the rest of his life as a generous, law-abiding citizen. He used all the powers and knowledge he had to bring happiness instead of heartache to others. He wrote all of this down in his journal, a journal that’s been passed down as a dark heirloom for many generations. I suppose he was trying to atone for his sins.” Orrie let his gaze fall, staring at the floor. He could hear Mr. Goodman’s voice tighten as he continued. “He died believing himself wholly unrepentable. But his newfound desire to help others was passed on to his children, and his children’s children, and all the generations after. I too inherited that desire. So I wanted to reopen the manor to the public. Of course, the murder mystery would be the main draw, but I wished to hold other events and activities to enjoy. Soon the mansion that had housed tragedy and betrayal so long ago became a mansion full of fun and creating happy memories for people of all walks of life. And for years I was living in a dream come true.”

He brought his hands up, gingerly wiping the tears from his eyes before they could fall. “Susie…Ms. Wheatly…was a dear friend of mine. Sue and I met many years ago, and she supported me from the very beginning, back when opening the family home to the public was just an inkling of an idea. It was all her idea to use nursery rhymes as hints, you know. Made all of them herself.” Mr. Goodman sniffled. Before he realized what he was doing, Orrie patted the old man on the shoulder.

“I’m…I’m so sorry for your loss.” Mr. Goodman sniffed again.

“It’s okay, Orrie. I accept what has happened. And we’ll recover from it one day.” Orrie didn’t miss his use of the inclusive term. But he couldn’t speak of the matter for long; Orrie’s parents had arrived and hurried quickly to the receptionist’s desk. “Those are your folks?”

“Yes.” He stood. He paused. He looked back. “What about you? Do you have anyone to pick you up?”

“I’ll be fine,” Mr. Goodman said, smiling softly. “My business won’t, though. I’m shutting down the Manor of Alcor once I get home. Too much death has transpired inside it. Maybe I’ll sell it after I remove all the runes lacing it, or perhaps I’ll have it demolished. Maybe I’ll start another attraction elsewhere. Who knows what the future holds.” He stood up himself, patting Orrie gently on the shoulder. “Goodbye Orrie, and be safe. And tell your folks all the expenses were paid for and then some. Half a million some. It’s the least I can do.”

Orrie couldn’t reply right away. “Thank you, Mr. Goodman,” he at last said. “And good luck with everything. Take care.” The old man shook his hand briefly before heading out the front doors. Orrie watched him leave as his parents sprinted over to him and nearly crushed him in their tight, protective embraces.

Orrie stared at the blank plaster that was his bedroom ceiling. He’d been doing that a lot the last two weeks since he returned home from the hospital. Just lie on his bed and stare into space, contemplating. He hadn’t touched his sketchbook in ages. He didn’t want to. Not so much because of what it reminded him of (as if he could ever forget that anyway) but more so because he didn’t wish to upset his parents even further. For them to see their son still interested in the demon who caused all this, albeit inadvertently? They’d probably go into a panic thinking he was possessed or brainwashed or something.

They were being a bit too overprotective, though, he long since realized. Walking with him practically everywhere he went except to school, texting him every thirty minutes whenever he was away to see if he was fine, peeking into his room when they thought he wouldn’t notice. Orrie sighed. He loved his parents. But no matter how often he told them he was alright, they’d just nod their heads as if they understood and put on a fake smile that clearly said they weren’t listening. Perhaps once the cast was finally removed they’d see he was fine and give him his space.

Orrie inhaled then exhaled deeply before rolling onto his side. His eyes settled on the sketchbook resting on his dresser. He looked away, convincing himself that he didn’t need to worry about them. That they were alright. That they probably weren’t even thinking of him as often as he was of them. His gaze returned to the book. Yeah, he hadn’t been very good at lying to himself lately. Why shouldn’t he make sure everything was fine with the Sterlings? They were his friends now. His parents’ worry for him could wait.

Quietly, Orrie slipped off the bed and crept toward his bedroom door. It was very late at night; he could hear his father’s soft snores coming from down the hall. Still, to be safe, he locked his door so no one could intrude. He was sorely underprepared what with this being a last-minute idea, but maybe an exception could be made. And it wouldn’t be for long anyway. Orrie walked over to his sketchbook and tore out a blank page, placing it on the floor. Grabbing a marker, he expertly drew the summoning circle on the paper, referencing his notes multiple times to make certain nothing was amiss. He then went to his backpack and pulled out the sympathy chocolate bar one of his teachers at school gave him after his first day back from the hospital and placed it just outside the circle. Taking a shuddering breath to calm himself, he took out a tiny switchblade and cut thinly across his finger, letting a few bloody drops fall onto the circle.

He whispered the incantation quietly but clearly.

The lights in his room flickered before taking on an unearthly bright blue shade. Smoke unfurled from the center of the circle, expanding rapidly until it took the shape of a certain demon floating cross-legged above it, not even bothering to contain himself within its small circumference. His gaze was initially on the paper, disdain obvious as he leered at the crude method of summoning, lack of candles, and meager offering. But when he looked up and spotted who his summoner was, his contempt shifted quickly into mild disbelief.

“Orrie?” The boy, however, said nothing. Instead, he reactively backed away closer to his door, fear flashing in his eyes at the sight of the deceptively young adult human male. The demon blinked before realizing the problem. “Oh, right. How’s this?” In an instant, Alcor regressed in apparent age, being now the even younger and much more familiar Dipper Sterling…clothes and demonic features notwithstanding. Orrie relaxed a bit.

“Hey there, uh…” He probably should have figured out what to call him before summoning him. “Di…Alcor?”

“Is there anyone who can eavesdrop?” Alcor asked. Orrie shook his head. “Then call me Dipper.”

A small, internal sigh. “Hey Dipper. It’s been a while. I just, um, I just wanted to know how you and Belle were doing.” He played with his fingers nervously. Even if this was his friend, this was still his first time alone with a demon, particularly one known for being unpredictable. Without his sister to keep him in check, what was Dipper really like? Would he find this summons a complete waste of his time?

Dipper paused for a brief second. “That’s it? You just want to know how we’re doing?” He stared deeper at Orrie. “Is that really all?”

The boy shuddered slightly under the intense gaze, but he refused to look away from the golden irises. “Yes. I…” Dare he admit it? “I really do wonder how you’re both doing. Are you okay? Is Belle? She did get hurt even though the doctors let her go that same day. I know you’ve been through danger like that before, but you’re still kids. Well, Belle is, and you’re acting like one. Wait, don’t take that the wrong way! I just—” He took a deep breath. “I was worried about you guys. But since I didn’t hear anything from you I just assumed you were doing well. And had moved on. But I just needed to be sure, and so…” He gestured vaguely to the lame ritual preparations.

Dipper chuckled. “So you decided to summon me just to check up on us?” His eyes seemed to brighten as he looked around the room once more. “You do know it’s not a good idea to summon the most dangerous demon known on a whim, right?” Orrie smiled sheepishly, remembering.

“I’m sorry. I only wanted to make sure, even if you forgot about me.”

“Forgot?” Dipper was quick to question, much to Orrie’s surprise. “Why would we forget about you? You’re our friend, Orrie. At least I thought we were.”

“We are! I mean, we are, right? I want to be. You, me, Belle– I didn’t think everything we’d done would lead to nothing between us. But like I said, when I didn’t hear anything from you I thought you’d gotten over everything. And it’s not like I didn’t try to call you or contact you, but I couldn’t find your numbers or anything.” “Well, we don’t exactly put that information out in the open for just anyone to find,” smirked Dipper. “But I see how you came to this decision. I have no excuse for not being able to contact you; Belle wanted to check up on you right after we came home from the hospital, but I convinced her to give you your space. I figured sooner or later you’d come around to telling us you were fine.” He rubbed the back of his neck. “The days passed, and you never did. I popped in every once in a while to see you myself. But when I saw you actively keeping your distance from your sketchbook, I assumed you wanted nothing more to do with us.”

Orrie’s eyes widened at the admission. “What? No, I was keeping my distance so I wouldn’t worry mom and dad. I didn’t think…oh wow, this has been a huge misunderstanding.” He laughed, careful to keep his volume controlled and not loud enough to wake his parents. He looked at Dipper, smile still plastered on his face. “I’m fine. My arm is healing well; I’ll get the cast off in about a week. And my parents have me going to counseling, which is going alright. I haven’t had nearly as many nightmares since starting at least. And we donated most of the prize money I got to charity; only a small bit we’re keeping for my college savings and the therapy.”

Dipper nodded. “That’s good. Belle and I are doing just fine, and she’ll be excited to hear you’re doing well too. We didn’t need the money either, so we gave it to some family friends of ours. Our lives have pretty much gotten back to normal, or what passes as normal for us. Despite how exciting as our lives can get, this isn’t exactly something that happens every other Tuesday. We really were worried about you.” To hear that from the demon in person made Orrie speechless for a moment.

“Thank you,” he mumbled, looking down. After a brief moment he looked back up, meeting Dipper’s gaze again, a spark of hope in his eyes. “So summer vacation is about to start, and I was wondering, if you and Belle had nothing better to do, we could…hang out? Catch up on things? Solve our own, less dangerous mysteries? Maybe even at Gravity Falls? My parents have kinda been planning a trip there for ages now. And it’d be cool if we had some people who knew the place well enough to give us a tour.” He gave the demon his best winning smile.

Dipper only laughed at the silent plea. “We’ll see. Then again, what better way is there to spend a summer holiday than with friends, right?”

#submission

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tylerstanton96-blog · 6 years ago

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#health

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scripttorture · 6 years ago

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1/2 So I'm wondering, since I've seen these asks somewhat consistently in your posts, which is why I figured I'd ask you; do you think there's ever a good reason for including an actual rape scene in your writing? Why do people do it? To make their villain that much more monstrous? To drive home the fact their actions are unforgivable? Portraying torture accurately is important, but is it necessary to include everything that has ever happened in torture? I don't mean this to sound condescending

2/2 it's born from legitimate curiosity as I've always been wary of including a scene like this in my writing (I have characters who are victims of rape, but I've never shown it in actual writing). What are your thoughts on this matter, given how prevalent rape can be within torture?

Myattitude is that unless it is encouraging something awful in reallife then….never say never.

Peoplealso have a lot of different reasons for writing graphic scenes. Ipersonally know several survivors who’ve written graphic scenes ofabuse. Writing about awful things we’ve experienced can be anincredibly therapeutic thing to do, helping people work throughemotions in a ‘safe’ fictional space.

Oneof the members of my writing group has actually done this. Heincluded a scene in his sci fi that I felt was particularlyrealistically handled and when I complimented him on how well andsensitively he’d handled the story he told me it was because it hadhappened to him.

And-I think that right there is the major reason why we shouldn’tassume we know why people write or are drawn to these things. Theperson you’re talking to could have lived through what they’vewritten almost exactly as they’ve written it.

Somepeople who aren’t survivorswrite these sorts of scenes for similar reasons: they’re workingthrough complex negative emotions using fictional characters. They’rejust not using a scenario that they actually experienced. Which canlead to some less then stellar portrayals if they don’t do theresearch.

Idon’t think anyone will be surprised to hear that I’ve writtengraphic scenes before.

Abig part of the reason why I write and read about awful things isbecause I want to understand them. I’m a scientist and I stronglybelieve we need to understand violence if we ever want to solve it asa problem.

Forme writing is part of that process. It’s a way to try and find anemotional understanding, beyond what books and interview transcriptscan give. A way of putting yourself in the shoes of survivors, andyes the torturers aswell. Because we are surrounded by both everyday. And so far I thinkwe, as a global society, have really failed to deal with that. We’vefailed survivors in terms of giving them the support, care andprotection they deserve. We’ve failed torturers in terms ofrefusing to tackle the systemic issues which lead to torture and interms of failing to treat them.

Ithink fiction teaches us. It’s a wonderful, powerful and above allsafer way of exploringdifferent ways to live, to approach problems, to structure socialinstitutions.

Partof what I’m trying to do when I write about torture and rape isimagine a better way of dealing with them. Notso much ‘imagine a society without abuse’ as ‘how might webuild a society without abuse’?

But,as you say, that doesn’t always mean that a graphic scene isnecessary to a story.

Thereasons why I’ve includedthem have varied with the stories themselves.

Idon’t think I’ve ever included them in an attempt to showsomething about the villains, more often I’ve included them to showsomething about the heroesand the survivorsthemselves.

Oneof my stories starts with a very graphic scene. A group of charactersare ambushed, one is attacked andraped while the others aremade to watch.

Theentire story focuses on the survivor and his group of friends andcomrades. It’s very much about his journey towards recovery, thesupport of his friends and the pasttraumas he’s been systematically hiding from them.I felt the scene itself was important becauseit does effect his relationship with the people around him.

Ifelt that for this particular story the audience needed to know whathappened and how the character felt at the time in order for the mainbody of the story, the recovery process, to make sense.

It’snot necessary every time. But this particular story would, I think,be far less effective and far less powerful without it.

That’sthe kind of decision making process I use every time a story couldcontain a graphic scene. Is it necessary and why?

Anotherstory I have includes graphic scenes of torture because theinteraction between the victim and torturer is incredibly importantto the story itself. The conversations they have during andimmediately after torture have a profound effect on the villain. Theyalso illustrate the motivations of the hero more strongly then justabout any other interaction in the story.

It’sless about showing the villain is unforgivable and more about showingthe hero finding the villain’s human flaws and stamping on them.

Thatstory doesn’tcontain graphic rape scenes, even though the victim is raped. In thisparticular story details of that attack added nothing. There was noimportant character interaction or information that readers wouldneed to know later on, there was nothing that would add depth to therest of the story.

Thestory I’m working on right now doesn’t contain any sexualviolence. But the settings recent history is systematic raciallymotivated violence and civil war. Much of the focus is on how thecharacters navigate that history. The younger generation, who canjust about remember the civil war, and how they process that in theirinteractions with the older generations who fought it and committedatrocities.

Rapealmost certainly happened. I could probablydraw a funny fantasy map and point to the areas where it was used asa weapon of war.

Butagain, that detail isn’t necessary to this particular story.Neither are graphic detailsof torture. Because in this case the focus isn’t on individuals whosurvived atrocities, but the fallout for later generations trying tomove forward with the enormity of what happened.

Thoseare just three stories, but I hope they show that, for me at least,my reasons for including scenes or not vary as much as the storiesthemselves.

Isit necessary? Not always. Sometimes yes I believe it is, butcertainly not every time.

Youcan write an effective andpowerful story about torture or rape that never leaves an officeblock and contains no violence or sex.

Butsometimes I think showing the awful things the story is discussingdoes add to the power of the narrative.

Idon’t think thatgraphic descriptions of torture or rape should be included purely forshock value. I personally find this an ineffective way to write. Ithink it lessens the emotional impact and power these scenes canhave.

Butdifferent people enjoy different stories and process things indifferent ways. I think it’s important not to judge people for thefiction they consume and enjoy. Because at the end of the day that isjust a matter of personal taste. Weall process things in different ways.

Thefiction that seems meaningless and distasteful to me has probablyhelped a lot of other people.

Ithink it’s important to remember that when we criticise otherworks.

I’dsay that if you don’t feel comfortable writinga particular act, whatever it is, then don’t write it.

There’snothing to say that you mustwrite more detail and gore then you’re comfortable with. I wouldalways encourage writers to work within their own comfort zones.

Noneof us can individually tackle everything.

There’snothing wrong with choosing notto go into detail. Whether that’s because of what you’recomfortable with or because it’s what the narrative needs.

Andif the narrative is demanding more detail then you’re comfortablewith don’t be afraid to alter your narrative to meet your needs.

Ihope that helps. :)

Disclaimer

#tw torture #tw rape #writing torture #writing rape #levels of description #torture scenes #rape scenes #Anonymous

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