#but dont we all have moments where we feel like an over the top tragic antihero character in a ya novel

[beyourxxx]

feeling very dramatic n tortured morally grey dark past tonight.

[somebody-in-this-world-who-lives]

Yall I am in the middle of a Ace Attorney hyperfixation and I just finished Turnabout for Tomorrow (fantastic closer holly shit) so let's talk a bit!!

I desperately wanna talk about the dark age of the law

First thoughts! I dont know how well the series will stick the landing with SoJ, but after some thought Im pretty happy with how it connects with Apollo Justice and continues the world the series set up in this regard.

Style aside, in world it makes so much sense why the public slowly lost faith in the legal system with all the acidents in the trilogy (I'm specially looking at Rise from the Ashes as the case thats meant to transition us and set up to AJ) and AJ where people connected to the legal system show to have their hands dirty (in AJ I can remember the chief of justice, detective sharkboy himself, ...Kristoff - and he was a member of the bar as well ouch...). There is no category of person involved in the legal system we didn't have arested at some poin

The one the game explicit calls out too with Phoenix! Like urg we saw the man had buit such as reputation for himself over the years Apollo was still starry-eyed meating him (we also see that in Trials and Tribulations with the start of Recipe and Phoenix helping spirit mediums slowly regain credibility in teh eyes of the public), I can't imagine how much of a public scandal it was when people recived the news they couldn't trust him and all the results he' had got over the years.

I also think being on a verge of a legal collapse also retroactively explains AJs much darker tone where even the defendents Apollo had were all guilty of some crime. Im still not sure about the implementation of the dark age in game (it can be a bit comedic how they keep mentioning it by its full Dark Age Of The LawTM title), but I can't deny all the building blocks are there in a way that it feels like the natural progression of the world, specially after the way things ended in turnabout succession.

I also like Simon's trial as a straw that breaks the camel's back situation. We have policeman, bailiffs, detectives, defense attorneys, prosecutors, the people at the very top of the judicial system (I believe we are only missing a judge criminal moment lmaooo One day! Unless that's in Investigations lol) and then this guy apparently just straight up cold blooded killed someone, no tragic backstory like Godot, no apparent motive just kills someone and sets bombs off??? Fucking crazy stuff, I kinda love it.

Last thoughts on the dark age and how it connects with AJ, but I can see how addressing this plot here could work as a soft reboot for the series in the future, like I've seen people claiming the game is meant to be! A big part of AJ as a game is showing how ineffective the legal system can be with its rules (we had to use forged evidence to trick Kristoff in case 1, I dont remember how we got Alita (that had so many parts to make it work whichis the premise of that case), but Daryan had to be threatened with his accomplice, and Kristoff wouldn't be convicted again if Phoenix didn't orchestrate a jury because we never had one piece of truly decisive evidence in any of these cases) I feel like bringing all the darkness we uncovered -pun intended- and resolving it can be used in the future to bring back a lighter tone without all the baggage. We will see!!

I'm curious if the DLC case will give me more to think about but these are my thoughts on how the Dark age TM is set up before Dual Destinies. Hope you guys like the analysis I get very enthusiastic for themes :)

[winterrhayle]

rank red and lover and evermore

ok i should’ve expected this many☠️☠️☠️☠️

red (taylor’s version) this one is so difficult to rank bc its so LONG and tbh ive already changed my mind on the bottom rankings so ignore the numbers oh and im not ranking ronan bc. yeah.

i almost do - i literally could not tell you why but this has been my favourite song from red for a long long time,, probably because i’ve never gotten over anything ever

better man - WHY WASNT THIS ON THE ORIGINAL ALBUM😭😭😭😭😭😭

the moment i knew - AND IT WAS LIKE SLOOOWWW MOTION STANDING THERE IN MY PARTY DRESSS IN REEEEED LIPSTICK QITH NO ONE TO IMPRESS ok this song was always in my top 3 for red but atw10 really elevated it bc of all the references

the very first night - why are the vaults so GOOOD OMG this song is so fun and has such silly energy i love it

forever winter - this song is so devastating but also if i ignore the lyrics the horns make it a bop????

all too well 10 min version - what can i say it’s ALL TOO WELL. AND I WAS NEVER GOOD AT TELLING JOKES BUT THE PUNCHLINE GOES I’LL GET OLDER BUT YOURE LOVERS DTAY MY AGE

nothing new - phoebe bridgers makes me feel things. also i should now find this song and the fear of getting older relatable bc i’m literally ‘the kinda radiance you only have at seventeen’

babe - the sugarland version is good but taylor’s is so much better and i love the added ‘what about your promises promises’ thing

red - WHEN THE DRUMS COME IN OMGGGG ,, oh also random anec dote one time when i was 9 or 10 my teacher asked me for an example of a metaphor so i used one of these lyrics

i bet you think about me - I LOVE COUNTRY TAYLOR AND I LOVE SASSY TAYLOR (aka fearless taylor)

treacherous - that part where shes like 'i'll follow you follow you home' is so funny bc like girl are u a stalker or something😭

state of grace - for some reason i specifically LOVEE sreaming the lyrics 'twin fire signs, four blue eyes' even though i am a pisces with BROWN EYES???? (also this is one of the many rerecordings that sounded better in the og version,,, i only play tv though)

all too well (normal length version) - this one was top 3 before red tv was released but for some reason the new vocals dont hit the same😔i would still consider it to be a perfect song though,, atw is THAT GIRL 13/10

the last time - if u dont try to sing both parts of this and mess up then ur lyyyinnggggg

everything has changed - not 2 be a sheerio (i am NOT ONE) but the ed sheeran x taylor collabs on this album are so cuteeetetete and im obsessed with how the kid actors from this mv were used for joker and the queen mv like a decade later

22 - in 5 years this song will be on REPEAT!!!!!!!!!!!!!AH OHHHHH I DONT KNOW ABOUT YOU BUT IM FEELIN TWENNY TWOOOOO

run - this is giving i know places and i loveeeee it 10/10 i love it when she collabs with ed within his musical range (this is a diss to endgame)

come back ... be here - THE BRIDGE. i love pretending that my (non existent) lover has flown allll the way to london soo far away from me (london is an hour drive from my house) and i am BREAKING DOWN BECAUSE MY MAN ISNT HERE (im literally a lesbian)

sad beautiful tragic - ok i dont ever actively search for this song but when it comes on i will listen to the whole thing every time. i think i said this about hoax but this is the type of sadness i craaave

holy ground - the forever & always > better than revenge > last kiss > holy ground > invisible string (that one line about the babies and presents) pipeline is one of my favourite things in the swiftverse ever everrrrr love u joe jonas

i knew you were trouble - remember that goat meme? yeah🥹

the lucky one - whoever said this song is evelyn hugo is so CORRECT.

we are never everrrrrr getting back together - I LOVE THIS SONG BUT SHE BOTCHED IT IN THE 2021 VERSION LMAOOOO RIP (ALSO SHOUT OUT TO THE ROCK VERSION OF THIS <333333)

begin again - this was such a perfect closing song for the standard edition of the album,, it ties off the whole break up album so well and it has her moving on to someone who treats her wife and ahhhhh

starlight - the 'have 10 kids and teach them how to dream' line rly catches me off guard sometimes😭 but i'll allow it

stay stay stay - THE PEOPLE WHO HATE ON THIS SONG DONT GET ITTTT. THE 5 MINUTE CRAFTS MUSIC IS CAMP. YOU CAN PRIZE STAY STAY STAY OUT OF MY COLD DEAD HANDS.

message in a bottle - this song is so 2012 where was this in the og album😒😒😒😒 it could have been one of the greats with ikywt,wanegbt,22 but whatever (same with the very first night S.M.H)

girl at home - i didnt like the og version, and i know a lot of people dont like the different production it has on the rerecording but i actually prefer it,,, but its my least favourite song on the album still. rip.

i started that ranking at 6:22am and now its 6:25pm. ITS BEEN 12 HOURS HELP WHY IS RED SO LONG anyway,,,,,

LOVEERRRRRRRR (aka one of my 3 stan albums) also not ranking soon youll get better for the same reasons as ronan ^

daylight - can i just say,, I KNOW THIS SONG TECHNICALLY DOESNT COUNT BEFORE BC TOE IS NO LONGER A THING BUT IGNORE THAT PLEASE FOR THIS ONE😭 ok this one has some of my favourite lyrics,, including 'i once believed love would be burning red, but its golden' ARE YOU KIDDDINGGGGG SHE INFLUENCED THE SONG AND ALBUM RED. AS IN SHE THOUGHT LOVE WOULD BE BURRRNIN REDDDD LIKE THE LYRIC. U KNOW THE ONE IM TALKING ABOUT RIGHT (2 mins into red the song). OHH ALSO THE VOICE MEMO AT THE END IS SO ICONIC I WANNA GET 'YOU ARE WHAT YOU LOVE' TATTOOOOOOD ON MYSELF

the archer - one thing i will eat up every time is when a song is produces in a way that makes u feel anxious (either when theres build up with no beat drop/release OR when the drums are super threatening if that makes sense) eg, labyrinth and out of the woods. the archer is such a perfect song and i love the heartbeats that she puts in the bridge (reminds me of wildest dreams and youre losing me ahhhhhh) and whenever i see eras videos of this song people say they wish it wasnt on the set list and honestly i find that baffling. if i ever see that song live i will literally pass away AND if i go to eras i wanna dress up as the archer (cupid vibes)

miss americana & the heartbreak prince - can i just say IVE BEEN A STAN OF THIS SONG SINCE 2019 and it was my favourite from lover for years omg,, and when i saw she opened the eras tour with this one i was so happy bc its finally getting the recognition it deserves !!!!!

afterglow - this song is so criminally underrated and its one of the realest songs on the album,, like is shows that love isnt always perfect and thats such an important thing to know specially for delusional girls like me ohh also theres a few songs on lover that have very specific producion styles, its afterglow, daylight, cornelia street and all of the girls AND ITS MY FAVOURITE PRODUCTION STYLE IN HER DISCOGRAPHY its so light and airy and i cant describe it properly but i love it so much

lover - omg this was my top song on spotify wrapped 2021,, its like the textbook perfect love song and i love the vows in the bridge and i love(r) the 'we can leave the christmas lights till january' and i love the mundane romantic things like saving seats and letting your friends crash in the living room and ahahsuhfjsadlgajhdfhkasgdfhgas

cornelia street - ok unlike daylight, i literally cannon ignore how defesting this song is with the uhhh...,., recent events in the toe timeline, but honestly the existence of 'youre losing me' elevates this song even more with all of the parallels and irony and before this was a cutesie song about omg what if me and my lover break up but now its just a knife twisting in my heart and yeah. rip toe

its nice to have a friend - this was also one of my big stan songs in 2019,, the simplicity just drew me in and its such a sweet song and it reminds me of walking around after school in february where its still getting dark kinda early and u can see the sky turning pink and orange and yeah <3333333333333333 i know this song has its haters but they are all just cold hearted haters, what can i say

cruel summer - IMDRUNKINTHEBACKOFTHECARANDICRIEDLIKEABABYCOMINGHOMEFROMTHEBARSAIDIMFINEBUTITWASNTTRUEIDONTWANNAKEEPSECRETSJUSTTOKEEPYOUANDISNUCKINTHROUGHTHEGARDENGATESEVERYNIGHTTHATSUMMERJUSTTOSEALMYFATEOHHHANDISCREAMEDFORWHATEVERITSWORTHILOVEYOUAINTTHATTHEWORSTTHINGYOUEVERHEARTHELOOKSUPGRINNINGLIKETHEDEVIL

all of the girls you loved before - LISTEN TO THIS SONG AND COMPARE IT WITH PERMANENT MARKER, THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN HOW SHE THINKS OF EXES THEN AND NOW IS SO FUNNY

i think he knows - this song makes me feel so silly and michevious idk why likeeeeee im listening to it right now and i feel like i wanna go annoy everyone in my houseee

ME ! - ok i know what u guys are gonna say BUT I DONT CARE. I AM A ME STAN. IF U DONT LIKE THIS SONG UR BORING AND HAVE NO FRIENDS SORRYYYYYYYY like yeah its cringe, yeah the lyrics are corny, but you know what??????? BABY THATS THE FUN OF ME (!) HE HE HEEEE the only valid critisism of this song is the inclusion of brendon urie and tbh that is valid i agree she should have made me (!) the feature

death by a thousand cuts - the way she put in the my my my my from the song lover is so rude and criminal bc why would she do that to me :( and i know this song is sad but imma be dancing around to that bridge idc idc

paper rings - omg this one is so nostalgic,,, i remember my ex gf used to make paper rings because of this song and she taught me and a bunch of our friends at school how to make them it was so fun,,, this was the song i associated with us once upon a time and now we're not a couple anymore but yk what???? i dont find this song sad its all good memories and me and her are still besties so whateverrrr *PAPER RINGS SUPREMACY*

london boy - THIS SONG >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> EVERYTHING BECAUSE LIKE SO MANY SONGS ON THIS ALBUM ITS SO UNSERIOUS AND A GOOD TIME,, IF YOU GET IT YOU GET IT!!!!!!! ALSO IT HITS DIFFERENT WHEN UR ENGLISH (taylor says she loves us <33333333) also shout out to these very iconic parts : 'we can go drivin in, on my scootuh' and 'pubwe' 'darling i fancy you' and its so funny how she literally just lists a bunch of places in london and its seems london until you put all of the locations in google maps and it makes the shape of a heart <3333333333

false god - that saxaphone😫😫😫😫 i rly hope taylor does more jazz in the future bc this song is so amazing

you need to calm down - shade never made anybody less gay FR,, like i said before, im a lesbian and this song makes me wanna tell everryyybody and its such a sillly fun song love love love,, i wish it was longer though

need - YEAHH IM DOING UNRELEASED TOO IDC,, i have this downloaded (very legally) on my spotify bc i (need)ed it very much and ill do it again. this shouldve been on the actual album #justiceforneed2023

the man - okayyyyyyy i diss this song often but i love it really,,, its so #millenialgirlboss

i forgot that you existed - ok i get the message and the whole idea of moving on from reputation idea but did it really have to be the album opener 😭 if somebody plays this album without having heard anything else from taylor and they hear 'in my feelings more than drake so yeah' THEY WILL LITERALLY NEVER LISTEN TO HER AGAINNNN ill allow it because its funny and im a satire girlie but taylor why couldnt you open the album with cruel summer☠️ screaming

evermoree

gold rush - ok guys you know how i feel about winlet and this song YOU KNOWWW THIS. gold rush is my all time most played song on spotify, and its so perfect and magical and if u listen to the dolby atmos stems theres some really nice drums and the 'my mind turns your life into folkloorreeeee' like is SO meta i love her for that

cowboy like me - con artists falling in love????? COUNT ME IN. ohh and i feel like im gonna do this a lot on this album but i have some lyrics that i neeeed to give a shout out to : 'and the skeletons in both our closets plotted hard to f*ck this up' , 'now you hang from my lips like the gardens of babylon, with your boots beneath my bed, forever is the sweetest con' imagine being able to write like that likee damn girl

'tis the damn season - im so obsessed with how this song is the other perspective from the song dorethea,, this is honestly the song i listen to the most every december bc its just the perfect holiday song for me

ivy - I CANT EVEN SHOUT OUT LYRICS HERE BECAUSE THE WHOLE SONG IS LITERALLY GOD TIER LYRICISM. WHO LET HER DO THIS. HOW DOES ONE JUST WRITE ALL OF THIS???????????????? TS > SHAKESPEARE

marjorie - this song is such a beautiful one and its my mums favourite and she always tells me to play it when i have the aux 🥹 when taylor plays this at the eras tour and that part with marjories opera singing plays and u can see taylor crying i just wanna bawl my eyes out

evermore - every few months i rediscover this song and its so perfect and the part in the bridge where the intensity is building and bilding and in the line 'you were there' her voice softens and the whole feeling of anxiety just subsides andaahhhhhhhassdbfkssf , same energy as ootw where the bridge is super fast and anxious and the end shes like 'you were lookin at me' and her voice softens there too, its such a cool thing to do vocally and it rly tells u the perspective the song is from with her spiraling and her lover kinda pulling her back into the present (its giving jacinter energyy)

willow - for literally no reason whenever i hear this song i think of a mermaid and a pirate falling in love,, and theyre both lesbians (i dont make the rules thats just how it is ok) 'wait for the signal and i'll meet you after dark' the only logical conclusion to be drawn from this is that the mermaid and pirate are sneaking around bc mermaids and pirates hate eachother,, like romeo and juliet,,,, like ariel and eric. do u see the vision. do u see the forbidden love. yeah u get it (i know it says thats my man in the song but im choosing to ignore that) (ALSO IM NOT A GAYLOR THIS IS JUST HOW I LIKE TO THINK OF THE SONG LOL)

champagne problems - the fact that she wrote this with joe is insane like how do u sit with ur bf and write a breakup song like this as a fictional thing,, and then break up for the reason in said song 3 years later?????? wild😭

right where you left me - DELUSION ANTHEM 🗣🔊💥💥💥💥💥💥💥

tolerate it - man this song is depressing,, like u know how the song ends with 'i sit and watch you' thats because its repeating the fist line of the song. as in shes in a loop. as in she has all these thoughts and realisations and then realises she has to leave and then ends up right where she started and stays. deep.

no body, no crime - OHH IMAGINE SITTING ROUND A CAMPFIRE SINGING THIS ONE ITS SUCH A FUN MURDER STORY LOVEEE IT

coney island - the bridge with all the references 😫 'were you standing in the hallway, with a big cake, happy birthday / and they're all standing around me singing "happy birthday to you but there was one thing missing' , 'did I paint your bluest skies the darkest grey? / you paint me a blue sky then go back and turn it to rain' , 'and when I got into the accident the sight that flashed before me was your face / remember when you hit the brakes too soon? .... but when the sun came up, I was looking at you' , 'but when I walked up to the podium, i think that I forgot to say your name' / this ones about calvin harris but there isnt a song about it,, but she does talk about this in the miss americana documentary

long story short - this song is literally the whole of reputation summarised its so good

dorothea - this ones the betty of the album,, the simple acoustic part of a song parinng / group, like ive said i love it when she returns to her roots and releases things reminiscent of debut

its time to go - I HATE YOUUUU SCOOTER

happiness - this one is very sad but a little uplifting i guess, i find it so sweet how taylor writes songs for abigail (fifteen and this) to help her get through things

closure - ok i know this is at the bottom of my ranking but i actually really like this song a lot,,, the production is what people hate but i love how its all chaos, representing the whole drama with the breakdown in taylor and scooter / karlies friendships and then the piano comes in smoothly THROUGH the chaos, which reminds me of taylor just ignoring all that drama and being able to move on while theyre still just bothering her in the background

BEA. THIS TOOK AGES I HATE YOU HAHAHAHH

[ess-presso]

your fic recs have been absolutely superior so ty. my turn! engraved upon my heart (in letters deeply worn) by inkpot_winters - jegulus little women au. need i say more. (also bc little women was in your top books)

taylor time! sad beautiful tragic, the moment i knew, and the way i loved you! ( i keep thinking im repeating ones ive already said so if i give u one i already said just ignore it LOL)

chat time!

drarry being a guilty pleasure is so real. like drarry and jegulus is same ship different font so u cant go wrong.

and being used as a personal grammarly by friends? SO real. my best friend cant spell for shit and ive been her dictionary and autocorrect since we kids.

okay but red converse is so james of you. i have red converse as well (i think i wore nothing but my red converse for an entire year when i was 16) but i like to change it up with my green or black converse too (i drew stars and moons all over the rubber part on my black ones because. i have to make everything in my life about wolfstar obviously)

GREEK MYTHOLOGY KIDS UNITE! this makes me so happy. truly a superior breed. i guess my obsession just bled into my academic career and here i am LOL. and dont worry, caecilius est in horto is a joke here too (at least it was in my intro to latin class, i feel like the average canadian would be lost)

love that u want to save lives. thats so cool of u. my best friend is a nursing student and shes the most badass person ive ever met so maybe its a prerequisite to be cool if u save lives.

(also wanting to be an agent after watching a spy movie is SO REAL like i swear my divine purpose becomes being a cool ass kicking agent, until reality dawns on me and i remember im just. a random person)

your top books list is so good. i love little women SM & ive heard so many good things about if we were villains (i really need to get on reading that)

also JUMANJI i love that movie. so good. and the hunger games movies ofc just classics at this point. and help the woman calling herself the kim k of businesswomen in the apprentice is so funny some people say the funniest things.

id love to visit new york too. concrete jungle where dreams are made of, obviously. the big gulp cup. god i want one too. (we have them in canada but i think ours are way smaller?)

your jewelry sounds so cool. i love the hp pandora bracelet thats so cool & rings! i love rings sm i cannot leave the house without them.

pop tarts & chinese takeout is such a good combination. perfect comfort food fr.

and a fellow cat person! i like dogs but i love cats sm. i have 3 and theyre my most favourite little creatures on the planet.

an INFJ! very remus of u. (at least i think hes an INFJ? idk i saw a tiktok about it lol) im an INTJ so im living up to my reg kinnie status.

stars is such a good choice. i will always be a star person too (and hello? im an ex-astronomy student too thats so funny). theyre just so pretty and i swear i could stare at them for hours.

christmas is my fav holiday too!! ive actually always wanted to visit london at christmas time it sounds so nice. do you get much snow during the winter? we dont get much snow here so honestly anywhere that gets snow at christmas sounds great to me.

I ACTUALLY DONT KNOW WHY I THOUGHT JAMES OPENED THE DOOR??? i think i read some dumb thing somewhere where he opened the door wearing a lightning mcqueen costume and it really stuck with me😭 i guess i decided that was canon to me LOL

question answer time!

fav rarepair - oh god i dont even know. i tend to always enjoy the more popular ships. although i did read a fake dating fic where james and evan fake dated to make barty and reg jealous, and ofc barty and reg fake dated to make james and evan jealous. (a star for a summer's day by moony_reggie if u wanna check it out!) so ill say james x evan. they had more chemistry together than i would've expected.

fuck marry kill james sirius remus - GOd. i cant even answer that question thats like the hardest thing anyone has ever asked me. uhmmm ill fuck them all, and then marry them all. if i had to kill someone itd be myself because i cannot be responsible for any of their deaths THEYVE BEEN THROUGH ENOUGH!!

place i wanna visit - id love to visit new zealand. im a HUGE lord of the rings fan and they filmed the movies there so id die if i ever got the chance to visit. ive actually always wanted to visit london too (and a lot of the UK in general, especially wales and scotland) as well as italy & greece! i visited both on a school trip a few years ago and it was a dream come true but id love to go back.

fav book/book series - another brutal question but ill try:

picture of dorian gray

song of achilles

percy jackson series

shadowhunter chronicles (yes its the incest series NO THEYRE NOT ACTUALLY SIBLINGS I SWEAR! we dont talk about it.)

mara dyer series by michelle hodkin (underrated and so good)

hp series ofc

hunger games ALWAYS.

six of crows duology my beloved <3

most embarrassing thing ive ever done - oh man. okay lets see. when i was in 10th grade i had to take a spanish oral final at the end of the school year but i am an ANXIOUS woman and did not wanna do that so i skipped my spanish class until the end of the year. my best friend was in my class and my teacher kept asking her where i was until one day she told my teacher i had CHLAMYDIA and thats why i was gone. i guess her excuse worked because the teacher never asked again. the next year any time i saw that teacher in the hall she gave me a funny look but . i guess mission success? i never did have to take that final so. LOL

favourite thing i own - i have a set of lightsabers (yes im a star wars nerd (derogatory)) but also i have the ring from the lord of the rings! my precious truly.

if my life was a movie - i truly dont think my life is interesting enough to have an exciting title. i think the best i can come up with is "the underwhelming adventures of a crazy cat lady and her books". and thats just like abysmal so.

YOUR TURN!

do u have any pets?

fav fanfic trope?

do u have any weird talents?

whats your gas station order?

fav flower/plant?

fav planet?

and simply because now i have to know, most embarrassing thing youve ever done?

fav instrument sound? (like what sounds most pleasing to your ear)

and thats all! i eagerly await your responses and in the meantime ill be over here doing a little dance.🕺

-bee

bee hello hello hello 👋 i missed u <333

jegulus little women au ??? on god , sign me up for this right the fuck now. (& little women is genuinely so good. amylaurie truther 5ever>>>>)

(fic rec for u - no bright line by lady_grey - w/ sirius being an actor, remus being a historian & lily being the filmaker & matchmaker who fixes them up. james and harry are just there for the vibes honestly.)

tay tay -

sad beautiful tragic - JEGULUS - ‘long handwritten note’ - HELLO???? mr rab with the locket?? ‘kiss me try to fix it’ james trying to tell regulus to come and come that he’ll save reg , but reg already knowing he’s beyond repair. ‘for the life of us we can’t get back’ WHAT WHAT. they should’ve been happy your honour. ‘we both wake up in lonely beds in different cities’ the different places they wake up in especially during the summer holidays. ‘beautiful magic love there. what a sad beautiful tragic love affair.’ THEM THEM THEM THEY HAD SOMETHING SO SPECIAL AND THEY WERE SO TRAGIC.

the moment I knew- BLACK BROTHERS- i had to think about this one because I didn’t think anyone of my ships would betray each other like in this song. just not turn up or anything. BUT OF COURSE ! black brothers angst. i can just imagine sirius being like ‘bro i’m coming to your party bro’ & reg waiting but he doesn’t come because he’s getting smashed with the marauders. AHHHHH OH MY GOD NOW I’M ALL HURT. ‘your close friends seem to know when there’s something wrong’ - James being all ‘sup reg what up with u dude u seem a little depresso.’ i can just feel this song. very them .

the way i loved you - JEGULUS - i love this in the context of that jegulus had to break up and bartylus begins but then reg keeps thinking of james , like to me ‘frustrating intoxicating complicated’ is something reg would SO use to describe james. (ps - i’ve heard people use this for remus-grant in which it’s remus singing the song about sirius which i also agree with!)

now chatting time-

drarry ! i love them so much ! ‘harry had never been less interested in quidditch, he was rapidly become more and more obsessed with draco malfoy’ like BRO . i know what you are. ‘the boy who lived’ more like the ‘bi who lived’

and the personal dictionary thing is so real , isn’t it? it’s always like ‘ess check this’ ‘ess is there an a in definite’ ‘ess why is there a red line under this word’ .

and yes i agree red converse is very very james of me ! i love them so much they’re very dear to me. and green and black converse ??? very slytherin of you (i think the stars are so real of you #wolfstar5ever) i actually have a pair of stars converse !! on the little flap thingy , there is a little moon stitched on as well! when i saw them i was like ‘ i must own these’.

AND YES GREEK MYTHOLOGY FOREVER !!!! WE ARE THE BEST !!! the trojan horse was my obsession as a kid lmfao. i love that you took it to the next step though i could never do latin for so long ! (and i’m glad caecilius est in horto carries everywhere. it’s a staple of latin classes honestly.)

AND YESSSS saving lives is for cool people only ? are u a loser ? do you want to save lives ? if yes then u are no longer a loser ! (and nurses are definitely badass good on your best friend for opting for that)

(after the movies end i always be in the toilets staring into the mirror having an existential crisis like ‘well i’m gonna be in the mi6 now better get to training’ then the toilet flushes behind me and i get back to reality.)

little women ❤️❤️❤️❤️ (the 2019 movie >>>) ( and yes you must read iwwv that book changed my brain chemistry forever)

AND JUMANJI JUST SLAPS SO HARD HONESTLY!!! kevin and the rock together >>> . AND THIS YEAR’S APPRENTICE is on crack fr. if you watch it , you’ll notice there’s one guy who looks exactly like the hyde , honestly. and lord sugar saying ‘i hear you own a pest control business. any tips on how to get rid of piers morgan’ LIKE BRO YOU WENT HARD.

yes new york oh my god new york seems like the place that would make or break u. (not to mention that americans are a bit of a novelty here . like the candies , the cheetos the accents >>>) AND THE AMERICAN BIG GULP IS LIKE HUMONGOUS. HUGE . I must try it. (you have them in canada ??? that’s so cool)

RINGS ARE SO COOL. makes me feel all mysterious n shit , but i do too much lab work to handle wearing them all the time.

pop tarts & chinese takeout are simply superior. i don’t make the rules??

YOU HAVE CATS ??? I DON’T (yet. i plan on getting a black cat with green eyes. but a black cat) THAT’S SO SWEET AND AWESOME AND COOL AHHHHH. cats are so adorable honestly. (what are the kitties names ? i must know them and shower them with love from me !)

and yes INFJ !!! i love chocolate , but unfortunately i am not a werewolf so not totally remus. INTJ?? you little reg kinnie i see you there.

stars honestly i love them. light pollution is just so damning in london though. (and what??? that’s such a freaky coincidence oh my god !!!)

AND YES CHRISTMAS I LOVE CHRISTMAS !!! we did get snow last year but it melted pretty fast. We actually got frost a couple days ago , but not proper snow. i’m waiting for a real proper snow day again where the snow actually stays for ages. and lmfao you don’t get snow in canada ?? whenever i imagine canada i always think of three things - snow , maple syrup & mooses. it upsets me that not all of these things are everywhere in canada.

AND LMFAO NOT THE JAMES DOOR THING ??? it’s such a funny little thing because i see people bashing him for being dumb and opening the door and i’m like ‘guys.no’ (but he defo was wearing a costume.like that’s just the truth .)

your questions -

just enjoying the popular ships and not having a rarepair is so real of u. like yes i’m a basic bitch and i just want my jegulus + wolfstar. so what?? (and james & evan?? hmm never heard that before , i’m gonna have to check it out.) my rarepair is really really weird. brace yourself. it’s pansy x percy. i read one fic with them and i thought that was really cool so i think they’re sweet to read now and then! (the fic was the secretary by pacificrimbaud btw - recced by me but do read the tags for extra warnings ik not everyone likes that. it has wild child personal assistant pansy and rude controlling boss percy.)

not being to choose between them is so real . (me however ?? fuck james marry sirius kill remus. love u moonpie but mummy’s got a job to do.)

visiting places where movies got filmed is so surreal though isn’t it ?? and a lotr fan?? my mate’s one and she gave me the silmarillion to read for xmas . (it’s going to take me at least seven months to read because i read (1) page and got confused already.) AND VISIT LONDON YESSS !! very cool here usually , as long as you don’t bump into any roadmen. (I also want to go to italy and greece. Especially venice and athens >>>)

your fave books , i’m going through one by one

podg - isn’t ben barnes in the movie ?? so many edits i’ve seen of him with potd scenes , honestly i’ve got to read the book (& watch the movie of course , to sate my desire.)

‘name one hero who was happy’ & ‘ i am made of memories’ haunt me forever.

pjo is honestly so iconic. i’m waiting for the big old series to come out now.

IS THIS THE ONE BASED ON RON X GINNY FIC ?? like the one that goes ‘you’re my sister , my blood , i should want to protect you’ 😀😀😀 but i trust your judgement here bee!

never heard of this one. but i did just search it up , and the blurb is interesting so i’ve added it to my tbr !

hp did have my little year five self in a chokehold.

THE HUNGER GAMES OH MY LORD >>>>> peeta mellark and his baby bombs my god>>>

and soc ! i would read it except i have been spoiled for a certain chapter 40!

NOT YOU SKIPPING THE SPANISH CLASSES BECAUEE YOU DIDN’T WANT TO DO THE ORAL??? just say me llamo been and pass the exam 🤨🤨🤨🤨.now u got chlamydia too . and the teacher looking at you like ‘damn how she get chlamydia , this bitch be getting around.’

OMG LIGHTSABERS ??? i would so fight with them all the time that’s so so so awesome. (just looked up the lotr ring. it looks so elegant!)

ahhhh being a crazy cat lady >>>> (not abysmal cats beat people anyday.) my movie would be ‘drunk procrastinator’ because honestly i never do things on time and a little bit of sippy sip does release the stress sometimes. (the things i’ve done when under the influence will haunt me. my best friend has so much blackmail material on me .)

MY QUESTIONS —>

unfortunately not yet. but i do want to get a cat , so i’ll get on that asap.

when person a smells person b in amortentia , or when person a is given veritaserum and admits they like person b. i’m a sucker for that shit >>>

my weird talent is that i can eat an entire bowl of cereal in under ten seconds !! not useful at all , but it’s weird so yes , i consider it a talent !

i had to look up what a gas station was i got so confused. we call them petrol stations here so i was like ‘tf is a gas station’ BUT ANYWAYS! I don’t even have a car unfortunately, but my chauffeur (best friend) does and obviously i abuse the best friend privileges, and whenever he needs petrol i always get a pack of gum , a can of sprite (+ a diet coke for the driver man). (this is what you mean by gas station order , yes ? gas stations in canada don’t have restaurants in them right?)

favourite flower - poppies ! i adore poppies ! + lavender they’re so pretty // favourite plant - hyrdrangeas ! (they’re classified as shrubs so they count) very sweet and nice.

favourite planet - gonna be a real one and choose my gal pluto. she’s still a planet to me , okay???

i was at a funeral when i got a phone call . my phone was NOT on silent. and the worst part ? my ringtone was baby got back , so now the deceased’s family have a memory of ‘turn around stick it out even white boys got the shout , baby got back!’ in the middle of someone’s eulogy.

saxophone ! that shit RELAXING AS FUCK !

q’s for you to answer next time you come around -

what the fuck is putin (not the president)

unpopular opinion about the marauders

unpopular opinion in life

Dream car

do you watch the apprentice?

do you believe in soulmates ? (romantic or platonic?)

what’s your hidden talent?

Favourite villain ?

ever had your heart broken ?

ever broken a heart?

(bee you know the drill by now !! don’t be too long , I’ll miss you<333)

[boobz-fye]

Comforting them after losing a game

Includes: Oikawa Tooru, Ushijima Wakatoshi, Kageyama Tobio, and Keiji Akaashi x G/N reader.

Warnings: the boys doubting themselves and cursing(I think I only said one bad word in kageyamas but whatever)

Rant: Ok, I feel like this post is actual shit. Like I say that about almost all of my posts- but this one is very bad. The only good one is Ushijimas I think, so I hope I do all of the characters a little justice tho. Also sorry that I haven't been posting much (for like two weeks) I have been very busy, and been dealing with writer's block. I will try and post something else some time next week. Think it's gonna be fluff for MHA tho. Anyways, HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS!!!!!

Oikawa Tooru~

It all happened too fast. He could have sworn that they were just in the lead, ahead of Shiratorizawa by two points. He was so close to beating them. And now what is he going to say to you, or the team? He promised all of you that they will win this only to not fulfill it. Slowly dragging his feet out of the gym, Oikawa starts to feel tears building up in his vision. ‘No you can't cry right now.’ Oikawa thinks as he starts to pick up a pace. Maybe this is all just a bad dream and he will wake up soon.. Yeah that sounds right. He can wake up and have a fresh start of the day, win against Shiratorizawa, then celebrate with his team mates, and to top it all off go over your house and cuddle the whole night.  Oh how lovely that sounds, only if that wasn't another fantasy planted in his head.

Overwhelmed with emotions Oikawa finally comes out of the locker rooms, only to see you sitting on the floor. “What are you still doing here baby?” You look up to see Oikawa putting on a fake smile that makes your heart break. “Come here..” You say rising to a standing position, with your arms open and welcoming. Oikawa doesn't hesitate to wrap his arms around you, and be consumed by your warmth. “You did amazing out there handsome.” Those few words made Oikawa feel butterflies in his stomach. The only thing that could make him feel better were your praises. But he still couldn't help the small ache in his chest, remembering that he promised everyone that they would win this game and make it to nationals. ��If I did good then why didn't we win?” He says with a slight crack in his voice, making an ache of your own spread through your chest. “Maybe it was just luck. You were only off by one point, plus if it makes you feel better you'll be able to beat their ass in spring!” A breathy chuckle escaped from Oikawa's mouth, causing a grin to form on your face. “You're right baby, we will beat them in spring.”

Ushijima Wakatoshi~

Ushijima wasn't used to losing. The reality didn't hit him until he heard the opposing teams audience cheer. Looking over to the scoreboard when he hears the whistle being blown, only to see that his team has lost. A bitter taste settles on Ushijima’s tongue. But he is once again pulled out of his thoughts by a hand resting on his shoulder. He turns around to see his team standing behind him with a look of true defeat. “C’mon Ushijima, we have to line up” Tendou says with a tone a little different from his usual cheery one. Not knowing what to say Ushijima just grunts with a small nod.

Walking outside of the gym Ushijima starts to replay the game in his head to try and see where they went wrong, but soon was interrupted by some arms wrapping around him from behind. “Hi bubs.” you say nuzzling your head into his back. “Hello Y/N.”  “Soooo…” you try to think of what to say that will make Ushijima feel better, but it's hard to do so when he can be very blunt at some points and not understand what you are trying to get at. “Yes?” Ushijima says tugging at the sleeve of your jacket to gain your attention back to him. “How are you feeling after the game?” There is a little moment of silence that comes over the two of you causing a slight panic cloud in your mind, because what if he took your question the wrong way- “I don’t know how to feel about losing, I'm upset because we put a lot of effort in that game just to lose. But they won fairly, so I guess that just shows that we weren't good enough.” Ushijima states bluntly. You're kind of taken back by his answer, but notice how his eyes show more emotion than his words. You could tell that he was more than just upset. “Don't say that Ushijima, you guys did amazing out there. You guys were only off by a couple points!” You say as you take Ushijima’s hand into your own. “But still we tried our best and it wasn't enough.” You felt his hands tremble a little in your touch, looking at him with a soft gaze you say “I'm sorry bub, you will get them next time though, I know you will because you are good enough.” Ushijima nods and mumbles a thank you, while gently squeezing your hand. It's times like this, when Ushijima shows you his vulnerable side, that you hold dear to your heart.

Kageyama Tobio~

Kageyama dreaded feeling the pain in his chest after losing a game. He would never get used to it, and doesn't really care enough too anyways. Maybe if he didn't send the ball to Hinata, knowing that the idiot will just close his eyes, then they could have won. But even then Oikawa’s tricky serves would still be a pain to work around. Not to mention how fast the whole team learns their opponents weaknesses. Kageyama had gotten so lost in his thoughts that he forgot he had to meet up with you at a cafe in 6 mins. Today seems to just get worse and worse by the second and he doesn't know if he will be able to keep himself together for much longer.

You hear the bell on the cafe door ring, causing you to turn around and see that all too familiar face. Kageyama walks over to you and takes his seat. Only when he finally looks up you notice that he is panting. “Did you run all the way here kags?” “Yeah, would have been late if I didn't.” Kageyama never liked being late to anything that has to do with you, it makes him feel guilty, and he doesn't want to add upsetting you to the list of shitty things that have happened today. “I'm ok with you being a little late baby, especially when you just got back from your game…” Kageyeama drops his gaze back down to the table remembering that was the first game you got to see him play in just for them to lose, how embarrassing- “Sorry, I didn't mean to bring it up.” you say rubbing the back of your neck. “It's ok….”  “Look at the menu and pick what you want, it's on me!” Kageyama shoots his head up and stares at you with wide eyes “Idiot im not letting you pay.” He mumbles while a blush spreads across his face. “Aww c'mon babe I can pay, let me get you some comfort food!” “Comfort food?” “Yeah food always helps me with stress” Before Kageyama could think over his next words, his mouth and brain betrayed him. “I think cuddles would make me feel better.” Both of you are taken back by his words, Kageyama was always so stubborn, forcing you to pick up hints from his behavior and piece them together to know what he wants. But you don't mind the forwardness; it helps you get straight to the point. Kageyama on the other hand is freaking out, he doesn't know if he was being too blunt or not, and your silence is not helping. “Never mind… forget what I said” “Whattttt, that sucks cause I was going to say yes but since you insist.” “Shut up, we can head over to mine after eating, the meal that I will be paying for, and cuddle. Now pick what you want already I don't have all day.” “Sir yes sir!” You say with a salute. “Dont do that you look dumb” Kageyama says, while trying to supress a grin. “You're so meannnnn” You whine with a pout. Even though Kageyama is teasing you the only thing you seem to be able to focus on is the way he starts to let loose and laugh around you. And when you look into his eyes all you see is love, not a trace of sorrow.

Akaashi Keiji~

It's only been a few minutes since the tragic game has ended and akaashi is already past the limit of stress he can handle. From the fact that they actually lost a game, while also trying to encourage the team and tell them that they will do better next time, and also trying to help bokuto get out of emo mode akaashi was starting to get a headache and wanted to just go home to sulk and attempt to relax. So once when he gets out of the shower akaashi throws on some clothes and runs out the locker room to the front gate. Not expecting you to be there waiting for him.

As Akaashi approaches the front gate he sees you standing there alone. “Y/N, what are you doing here? It's getting late.” “I know, I just wanted to check up on you” Akaashi looks into your worried eyes, causing him to feel a little guilt. Is he the cause of the expression on your face? “Oh well then can I walk you home?” You nod in approval, letting him take your hand and lead the way. A comfortable silence takes over the two of you, but you still can't help but feel like something is still off about Akaashi today, and none of his fake smiles and replies will put this thought at ease. “Hey Akaashi?” “Yes?” you stay silent for a little trying to think of the right words to say. “You know you guys did amazing at the game today right?” Akaashi hums in response, as the hold on your hand becomes a little shaky. “Good, because it's the truth. Just don't beat yourself up about it, you're great at what you do. Even though you guys didn't win I know you are still deserving of it. The only reason your opponents had a chance, was because of the chance balls. Plus you and your team have way more chemistry with each other then they did, it's almost like all of you can read each other's minds… Sorry I was rambling again.” Akaashi turns around and stares at you this time with a real smile on his face. “It's ok love, I think it's cute when you run your mouth. Now why don't we head over to your house instead? I want you to help me get rid of my stress, ok?” “And how can I help you with that?” Akkashi brings your hand towards his lips and gives it a quick kiss. “Cuddles of course, and let me eat whatever food you got in your house.” Akaashi says with a wink. On your way home you can't help but admire your caring boyfriend, always making time for you even when he's too emotionally and physically tired.

[likeadog]

okay so im seeing people get anons about this and its coming up in friend groups so i think now's actually a pretty good time to tackle the idea of religious (specifically cultic) abuse in media and how we as an audience interact with it

TLDR: dehumanization and sexualization of cult victims furthers the misunderstanding that cults "don't exist now", and RA survivors would feel much safer in fandom spaces if people acknowledged and analyzed the harmful portrayals of cults in media.

cw: discussions of cults, abuse, and sexual assault

also, if you have questions, please shoot me an ask or dm (off anon preferably, though)

let me start this with a disclaimer that i dont think every media that features ra is inherently bad. i think thats a bit harsh and as an ra survivor ive come to terms with the fact that there are going to be depictions of it in ways that maybe dont give it the respect it deserves, and trying to "what about [x]" everything will only lead people to talking in circles with themselves. what i want to address here is how you, as a consumer, respond to and parse out what cultic abuse means in any particular portrayal of it.

*also please don't harass people about their RAS status, like, if you see someone enjoying something with a less than stellar portrayal of cults, don't send them asks or dms like "well are YOU a cult survivor?" reducing the consumption of media to a yes or no game based on identity-- especially an identity that comes as the result of explicit pain and spiritual violation is not only derivative but also degrading to survivors and the people you're grilling. all we want is for people to think carefully about what they spread and portray, and how they think about those situations.

so, i think the first thing to tackle is...what is a cult? This is something that's surprisingly hard to define, especially in fictional settings with fictional cults. For example, (and pardon the use of this example, I don't feel like hunting for others), My Hero Academia has an organization in it that I would say fits the criteria for being a cult, but by and large isn't considered one by fans because it's not explicitly called a cult. (Although numerous cult jokes have been made about it). It also has an organization that IS explicitly referred to as a cult.

So, when you're dealing with how to process what is and is not a cult-- and how to make your presence safe for RA survivors, you have to be able to sift through more than just "did the narrative tell me this is a cult?"

There's a few different models people use; one of the most popular being the BITE model-- but I should clarify that the BITE model is really tailored towards religious and strictly hierarchal cults, but can be applied to other kinds of cults.

(and yes, there are cults other than religious/spiritual ones. corporate cults and wellness cults have been on the rise, and it's good to keep that in mind both when engaging with media and also in the real world.)

However, I'm a religious cult survivor, so a lot of my experience is strictly irt this, so please take what I say with a grain of salt, and know that I don't speak for every cult survivor, every religious cult survivor, or every religious abuse survivor. I am One Guy on the internet.

When it comes to media, I have a few questions I run through in order to figure out if something is A Cult.

1) Fringe Ideas. This one is one of those that most people know-- and often incorrectly use to attribute cult status to other things. However, it is worth mentioning, that you don't become a cult by following mainstream ideologies. BUT. BUT. not every group with weird ideas is a cult! Some groups are just weird and are fine being weird. It's a rectangles and squares situation. All cults have fringe ideas and behaviors, not all fringe ideas and behaviors belong to cults.

2) Hierarchies. Cults always have people in power, at least in my experience. There have been ideas thrown around about "completely decentralized cults"-- but to be honest, I'm not sure how I feel about that concept, and I don't know enough about it personally to say whether or not it's legitimate. If you have any sources, hmu.

BUT. Most cults have a power structure. You're going to have leaders, usually with a handful at the verrrrry tippy top, whose word is law. This can be associated with things like religious ideas (channelling god) or being "a genius", like in corporate cults.

3) Control. I cannot stress this enough; cults are all about control. How you think, feel, behave-- they discourage critical thought, encourage snitching on each other, buddy-group behavior; the BITE model explicitly lists these models of control.

4) Us V Them. Cults will give all those that oppose them or simply don't believe them a bad name. They're uneducated, they're evil-- it varies cult to cult, but you'll see them turning the non believers into a homogenous, frightening group. They want to discourage looking outwards, and they want to viciously isolate members.

Other things of note are extremism, talks of enlightenment, harsh punishments, the cult eating large portions of the member's finances, etc.

However, this post is largely to address FICTIONAL cults. and the unfortunate fact of the matter is that fictional cults are rarely fleshed out in a way that can be held one to one to a model, and, more often, don't even afford the victims of a cult humanity.

and this is one of THE biggest issues you find in cult portrayals. the leader is usually a charismatic, or perhaps menacing, figure, one that usually our protagonists-- who are rarely cult victims, they are typically outsiders (not inherently bad, mind you)-- faces personally, with the hoardes of mindless zombies forming one giant hurdle.

Naturally, this can be...hurtful. There's nuance to who is and is not a victim in a cult (although my rule of thumb is to look at what abuses that person specifically exerts over others-- and you can be both a victim and perpetrator of abuse. to treat them exclusively is lacking all nuance), but the people are the bottom, even if they joined willingly, are people who were preyed upon. Not only that, but many media cults forget that people can be born into cults, and never really had a choice to begin with. To treat these people like they are mindless-- or that they deserve the suffering they are in because they are there-- completely erases all nuance, humanity, and understanding to the cult survivior struggle. Not only that, but it continues to sensationalize and deify cult leaders, which is doing their job for them, really.

The second biggest issue is the romanticization and sexualization of cults, religious abuse, and cultic abuse.

(yes...this is a thing.)

The use of cults as a way to make a character edgy or tragic is one thing, but there's something sinister about using it to project a certain sexual behavior onto that character-- whether it be as the subjugator or subjugated. Sexual abuse is rampent in cults, and ritualistic sexual abuse is used to justify it. To sexualize the idea of a cult(ist) raping and abusing someone is...beyond offensive to anyone who has been in a cult where their sexual safety and autonomy has been compromised. Or, in some cases, the cultist is so naive and sheltered they can be easily coerced and taken advantage of due to their brainwashing.

This is...bad? This is bad. To ignore the fact that these depictions are just as harmful as any other romanticization of abuse is to ignore the real suffering of cult victims.

Really, the larger problem is that people don't really think cults exist, not really. They're all things of the past, or things that exist solely in fiction-- when in reality, every day cults form and continue to grow. If you've ever met a mormon, you've met a cultist. The moment you begin to process and parce the fact that this isn't as bizarre and unusual and fictional as it seems, you take the steps to respecting people who have been in that situation and become better at detecting cults, cult recruitment, and are able to more clearly assess what you take in.

Once again, there's so many bad portrayal of cults that it would be...stupid to call for an immediate disowning of anything with it in it. I personally have come to terms with the idea that I will have gripes about these portrayals in most cases, but rarely do I see people other than fellow RA or cult survivors discussing these portrayals. I'm hoping people can become more aware and willing to discuss cults in a serious and analytical context and criticize how they're portrayed in the things they love.

And once again, cult survivors are NOT a monolith. If a cult survivor expresses they are uncomfortable with something I said here that I'm not, or vice versa, listen to the people who actively surround you and whom you care about.

[udonthreens]

top 5 disco elysium moments i have never played the game but ithink you should explain it like i know everything already anyways

anon uve triggered my autism beam

these r vaguely ranked but also i. i dont promise coherency and if i thought abt it with more brain theyd be different.

5) ok this is the last one im writing and idk. theres so many good scenes and moments and nevermind. the chair. the fucking CHAIR and evrart. it took me 200hrs to see what happens when u PASS the composure check like. tbh failing this check is basically canon. slide down it like a jello shot. again like the megarich container guy this is one of those possible early moments of 'ou this games a fucking weird comedy' and i just. best way to assert dominance with the corrupt commie boss like 'what a great display of... idek what that was' and im pretty sure u lose a rep point with kim if u fail it too like. kim dont be mad this is just my interogattion technique im not giving the rcm a bad rep i promise kim

actually some honourable mentions: lamby, boardgames with kim, joyce pale convo, kim voice dilligent boy, THE CHURCH I DIDNT MENTION THE CHURCH i love doin the dance after gettin shot its so funny. love the rave kids. shivers voice theres a hole in my heart. the fucking 'lookin to score some d girl!' bit with kim & acele thats comedy gold actually. thats brilliant. i might just start listening everything. pinball with kim when u pass it im just like. kim why dyou sound so smitten . the piss and fuck jackets. actually i really like the whole bit with the working class woman that was Devasting. even more so when i realised u could actually tell her ud look for her husband ...... i liked the jamais vu viscal pleasure wheel bit after (i think that was added with the update? yes it was) altho i dont remember specifics just. his brain reconstructin smth as idk.. smth to make him feel better? felt bittersweet. i should go see that scene again.

ok ill fuckin wrap this up. 'are u... a really good detective?' great line and not a moment per say but. the fact that jean just. hangs around the whirling for several days in that fuckin wig like, obvs he doesnt move spots bcs its a video game (despite the edc lines showin that he does do other shit) cuz u need to know where to find him. but he just fuckin commits like. the character building from all this shit for whats technically a minor character. brilliant. doesnt HE have a fuckin job to do. also titus is always in the whirling for the same video game reason so like. yes. yes to that rarepair.

3) communist book club and the tower building that was soooooo cool not to mention the fuckin hilarity of readin bout inframaterialism for the first time nd going "???? is this pseudoscience in the game or can it ACTUALLY fucking happen like wtf"

2) karoke. pass over fail tbh limbic system KILLS it (and its more lyrical spoken word doesnt fit the song nd also i thot id actually hear harrys voice during that scene and we kinda did but like thats a different tangent) and kims support 'detective du bois... it was down right tragic' and the edc or concept check? concept i 5hink that was like 'to him that represented being an rcm member perfectly' like HELLO??? kim bestie its not 2 late for a career change. AND not to mention gartes reaction to it like... u really get the feeling that he Will get rid of the machine if harry fucks it up. however i do like the pass as well bcs a) harrys had enough cringe fail b) jeans deadbeat litany of 'yeah its shit it sucked awful' like. thats how he talks 2 harry when hes being NICE its so funny. het life partners <33

4) mega rich light bending guy. AGAIN the weiss thingymay coefficent where ur like 'is this an actual Thing or is harry just fuckin insane' nd also i crit succeeded on my first playthru real early on when i hadnt seen any of the wacky shit yet nd it just. the -2 if u have the artcop thought the fuckin ultralib shit . u get like 4 ultralib points at LEAST if u pass/fail the right concept check. god not to mention kim earnestly suggesting rcm reforms like kim bestie kim kim my bestfriend kim its not 2 late for a career change. also if u get the 100 real and kims like 'ur full of surprises most of them bad but some of them good' soooo true <33

1) salami man.

[nikethestatue]

Out of curiosity, you think Elriel has more development than Nessian? In ACOMAF, I could only really see hints for Nessian and Moriel (before SJM retconned Mor obviously.)

I'll preface this by saying that I've never been a Moriel fan and never saw anything between them. Truthfully, I think that the initial breakdown was Cassian and Mor, Elain and Az and Nesta and Lucien. Then SJM retconned on all of them, except for Elriel.

The problem with Nessian is that I am not sure what development there's been? And I LOVE Nessian, but I think they've been written poorly. SJMs obsession with the mate bond is really problematic when it comes to Nessian, because what actually binds them? I STILL DONT KNOW. Do they have common interests? Do they laugh and joke? Do they do things together? Show me something outside of training and fighting that they do. Do they like the theater? Carnival rides? Pottery? Long walks? Teaching children? Knitting? I know literally nothing about them.

I know SJM tried to show that it was some kind of love at first sight situation--which it could've been--but the unfortunate forgone conclusion of the bond marred the whole relationship. In ACOWAR, when Nesta and Cassian decided to die together--that's a powerful, tragic, beautiful moment, but why was it there? What was motivating Nesta? Because outside of the bond, it doesn't seem like she'd be that sacrificing, for him. Conversely, the Elain rescue scene reads truer, because we assume there is no bond, so Azriel's emotions seem more genuine. And in essence, it's kind of a very similar scene between Nessian and between Elriel, yet regardless of how you feel about Elriel, or Azriel, it's very powerful. He goes to the most dangerous place on earth, he even gives up a siphon, he's been warned that he will die--yet, nothing stops him.

Same with some other things--how Cassian at times treated Nesta, and how she treated him. Certain things he'd say to her. Even when Amren was taunting him over his relationship, why not stand up and say 'be quiet'. It's none of your business.' It's Azriel who steps and tells Amren to be quiet. Yet Azriel has no problem stopping everyone from eating before Elain takes her seat. Show me Cassian's growth, where he stands up to Rhys and not in the usual 'fuck off' kind of a way, but in more meaningful way. When Rhys freaked out and said he is going to kill Nesta, Cassian doesn't stand up for her. He leaves with her and ges on that long hike. However you feel about the hike--and I liked the hike--and maybe Nesta needed it, but I simply did not feel any development from him in regards to her.

And then the cherry on top is him yelling ' We are mates!' And that's the crux of the matter--they are mates. And what's real? And what's just a booty call? And what's instinct? And what are feelings?

I wish I saw Nesta get a gift for Cassian for the last Solstice. I really, really do. Because at least it would've given us an insight into what she actually thinks about him? What does she know about him? What would she have gotten him if she could? It would've shown us that she thought of him, that he meant something to her that was just them. We didn't get that. And honestly, to this day, I still dont know what Nesta feels about him exactly...Love? Pride? Affection? Is she awed by his personality? Does she want to hold his head on her lap? Does she want to draw him a bath when he returns from a long flight? Would they make soup together? French toast?

That's why in my mind, even though Elriel have significantly fewer scenes, and just as those two characters their scenes are quieter and more intimate, they do grow--Elain goes from a person who is frightened of the Fae and being engaged to a Fae hater, to saving one and wanting him, and Arzril, who supposedly was obsessing over the same woman for 500 years, moves on, finds someone else that gives him natural affection, fun gifts, who makes him laugh and desire, and who doesn't fear him at all.

I blame SJM for shitty writing. For not giving us even one intimate Nessian scene. Honestly, some of my favorites were tiny scenes, like when they were waiting for Gwyn to join them for the first time, and they are telling each other how the other make them nervous. That was cute. Or when they were taking about their allergies.

Honestly, it's like this--until you are singing Tina Turner's 'Simply the Best' to you partner are you even in love? And I can see Elriel and Feysand sing it to each other. Nessian, I don't know.

[herbietales]

trying to put my thoughts on the new special into one place!

starting off with the stan marsh tragedy montage is so tragic holy shit

and the fact that he keeps reliving in in his nightmares is so sad

having to handle his alexa too and like wanting to pander to her requests like the shopping cart and such - theres like a commentary there or something but maybe im reading too much into it its also just funny to see kyle so bewildered at that lmaooo

and stan turning around to sneer at kyle when he tries to cut in?? lmaoo

this scene between yentl and cartman hurts more knowing cartman’s end - him saying to yentl that she is her whole world and all

and then!! they met butters- victor who changed his name to seperate himself from butters and even pretending not to know anyone from his past before his parents grounded him for like 16 years, which is like his entire teenage years even?? god i cant even imagine, BUT the only other thing keeping my sympathies is how he’s an NFT bro?? DUDE. the whole people-who-are-into-nfts-are-incels commentary?? love it lmao i kind of like how its not too evil or unhinged but its also not much of a happy ending - and kind of makes sense he’s a hardcore sellout considering his pimp lifestyle before

i think from here on i started to get confused by whats happening - from randy growing his weed so fast, to cartman recruiting clyde by pandering to his non-science stance, butters escaping to destroy a motel, hell- butters weiner helicoptering pee all over when cartman starts to yell at him  (he still says loo loo loo GJKDFG)  - i feel like butters wrecking so much chaos (hehe) in such a short time is so funny lmaoo

i was so goddang excited when cartman and butters duo happened but it makes me more sad when cartman expressed it was for his family again :((

next is stan bringing kyle to the bar to drink, finding out butters and cartman is sabotaging stan and kyle, being attacked by their alexas, stan again helping kyle to talk with his alexa, them them coming back to see the gang being caught up in the nft thing - and having a stendy moment??? i wonder where darwin even went he just disappeared without a word, which sucks bc i kinda liked the guy even though he’s had like 3 lines tops

anyways skipping ahead- the cartman and kyle fight was beautiful, outstanding, showstopping, what ive been waiting for this whole 2 specials, its funny still how kyle thinks its still a ruse when we find out that its really not, and yentl and the family are the ones who convince cartman to have faith that their lives will end up together in any pathway, not stan or kyle, which is MORE sad holy shit

adult clyde walking through the town like a badass fucking cracks me up, and the way he just busts through the door?? and kid clyde not questioning it??? so fucking funny

AHH and the moment i’ve been waiting for - stan saying that he regrets this day for the rest of his life and kyle saying you lose everything if you lose this friendship?? i love the style moment - and having to say that cartman has a family and you dont bc nothing would make kyle more pissed than cartman being happier than him LMAO

anyways after that this whole thing going back to heather from the start?? it feels like they couldve put the whole heather thing at the first special and then tie it up it this one tbh? and lowkey feels like a copout or feels a bit shallow? that all it takes for them to forgive each other is another outing -

as much as how cute i find it i wish it had gone a bit deeper but at the same time its south park. also theyre like 10, so this would kinda makes sense that itd be all good after like one amazing night together

stans note to randy was super sweet and cute, giving him the new special weed which then cures everyone which again,, kinda like a copout as usual it goes back to tegridy fixing everything and making it feel like trey and matt’s tegridy weed ad

and finally the end - oh. i feel like its so rushed, and so sad that cartman’s ending didnt pan out the way he had planned, stans an astropilot kind of thing, kyle has a family that cartman had, stan and wendy is hinted to get back together - and everyone else is weirdly the same too. it kind of paints stan and kyle as these selfish assholes who didnt care about cartman’s family, but at the same time they didnt remember how it was supposed to be considering that the past had changed. stan said that he doesnt remember why he misses sharon and shelly so much

im not the biggest fan of cartman obviously, i cheered whenever he had karma served to him in past episodes whenever he was a dick, got beaten up or his plans didnt go through, but in this one he was fighting so hard for his family and reformed life that its hard to feel happy when he ended up homeless in the end while everyone else got a happy ending - which compared to how their “bad ends” were, were not that bad. stan and kyle at least had a home and business and it wasnt like they couldnt get a partner like that?? well except for maybe butters, who ends up as a waiter instead of being an nft bro in a mental asylum...

anyways i kind of liked the previous special more than this bc of the surprise elements and the excitement of wanting to see the adult selves but i felt like i really wanted the latter part where they time travelled to be longer, bc it was the hype of the whole special? but it ended up happening in like the last 13 minutes of the special which is a huge bummer but i cant wait to see the next season, and how its gonna play out. im so tired of this whole covid thing (and the whole tegridy thing) so im looking forward to just. new stuff.

[papabirdurskeks]

I ask this both for Baron Dark, Ariandel and SkekSo !

Give me a character and I will answer: @ben-the-hyena

Oh boy a triple feature! :D Here we go, folks!

Under a read more cause its going to get long but each listed character will be split apart evenly!

First up is Baron Dark!

Why I like them: He is just bombastic in personality! He lives loud in his actions and words, participating in most of the action himself while also showing he is a threat and menacing altogether! I also like that he is one of the few villains that shows he cares for his crew as a “family” (at least for most part of the series before being overtaken with obsession to have power more on his own). Given the dynamic we are given from the show, its obvious he cares and treats them all on a level of respect as well, something so rare to see nowadays! And I also enjoyed that his reasons to take over and do the shit he did in the series, “Because I can!” is just as refreshing and fun to see in a villain too!  And again, his design is a top tier design I love overall! Its menacing, powerful, and outright amazing! Definitely adds to the character and how well he works in effect to keeping my attention! Like just look at that design! And his VA did a wonderful job of adding to that charm that is just delightful to see in his personality! Overall, he is totally a villain I would love to see more of in the future!

Why I don’t: I say my dislikes often fall on the usual tropes of a kid’s show of the 90s. He talks too much when he could be doing things himself and falls victim to the typical “I am too powerful” but doesn’t think of the obvious steps ahead that will be his downfall. But honestly, its so small I don’t find it jarring or that bad to be in the way! It was the 90s and aimed at kids at the time, so we can’t expect TOO much out of that xD

Favorite episode (scene if movie): Oh man, that’s a tough one cause every scene/episode Baron is in he totally slays it! Its either a tie from the first episode to the very last one cause the stakes of start and finish are so well done, I love it all! 

Favorite season/movie: Obviously, the TV series is the best version of him! The comics sucked and turned him too OOC from what was initially given! Like how does one go from point A to be Z so freaking fast? xD

Favorite line: “Because I can.” Yeah, not gonna lie this was indeed my favorite line of his xD

Favorite outfit: Honestly, the outfit he gains near the end of the series is by far my favorite! Its like a mix of the Bejeweled Catacomb Saints and Mictlantechutli put in one and its befitting of the Baron given his gain in power! 

OTP: Baron and Cyborn are my OTP and are married, fight me. 

Brotp: Definitely Brotps with the rest of his henchmen though I see them more being like his adoptive children! 

Head Canon: Baron is of indigenous background! I also like to headcanon that the white tuft/strands in his hair are truly his and have been there since birth!  (I have so many more HCs for him but I will keep it short cause it can go all day x’) )

Unpopular opinion: Don’t think I have one, at the moment at least. 

A wish: To have gotten more information/lore on him and the entire cast, honestly! I would have loved to see more of his character explored and what more he could have had to offer as a series main villain! Hell, the whole damn series had so much to offer! And just the relationships he has with the others and what more he could have done post season and before! So much potential there to be explored! I honestly would not be objecting to a reboot/revival or continuation of the series! 

An oh-god-please-dont-ever-happen: Though with that said, if a reboot does come around, don’t turn it into the mess of current cartoons we have. Not that they are all bad but most of them have been very disappointing in keeping my attention and liking. Keep the same type of messages it had before! It worked beautifully as it did then and still does work now! I’d love to see the same formulas used while also updating it to be more gritty and mature like they did for Castlevania! Just... Don’t turn it into a cringe worthy mess that will ruin Baron and all the characters in the series! Don’t do what the comics did! 

5 words to best describe them: Charmingly evil, badass, fun, conniving bastard, and menacing. 

My nickname for them: Mega dork (affectionately speaking)

Next is Ariandel!

Why I like them: Oh boy, there is a lot to say in terms of why I like him but I will try to keep it short and simple for time purposes!  His design is top tier for me! Like a rotting skull like face? Check! A monstrous body much like a bird’s? Check! And to add he is a giant Corvian, which are one of my favorite enemies in Dark Souls III!  His personality also differs from the usual loud, bombastic, and proud characters I tend to gravitate for. Instead, he’s withdrawn and rather sad to look at and hear. You know he’s going through a lot but don’t know exactly what it is. In game, one can sort of get hints as to what has gone on behind the scenes but at the same time, its still vague and hard to really pinpoint what really did happen. So he has that air of mystery to him that I honestly adore in many characters as it leaves room to explore deeper into their lore! But I also find his personality relatable as well as sympathetic.  But that’s just me, I can gush about him all day but I will cut it short here x’)

Why I don’t: To be honest I don't have any reason not to like Ariandel other then the small fact that he followed Friede and let the Painted World rot in such a terrible state. But that is so minor of an issue to me to really make a difference, lol. I adore this giant bird man!

Favorite episode (scene if movie): I have to say the scene where he ultimately snaps and breaks out of binds after seeing Friede's lifeless body before him is my favorite scene of his. The amount of pain and anguish heard in his scream and the way he moves prior and after; I can very much relate to that feeling. Sometimes, actions truly convey the emotions better in the most powerful means necessary. And this scene alone truly nailed it.

Favorite season/movie: He's only ever seen in the Dark Souls III DLC, so obvious answer points to the DLC!

Favorite line: "When the Ashes are two, a flame alighteth. Thou'rt Ash, and fire befits thee, of course..."

Favorite outfit: Uhh, he doesn't really wear any clothes save for his cape? So I guess the cape does him well as he is, though I always draw him without it xD

OTP: To be honest, I don't ship him with any canon characters within Dark Souls. Friede does not deserve him..

Brotp: Ariandel being best friends with the Ashen One is my ultimate Brotp! Just think of how much of a valuable ally he could have been!

Head Canon: I know his origins are debatable, as either theory I have for him can be plausible but I often lean more towards the idea of him being half Giant and half Corvian! IDK why but I just like it a lot more x’)

Unpopular opinion: While Ariandel is partly responsible for what happened to the Painted World, I still feel he was manipulated overall and probably at one point did have a change of heart before being forced into complete isolation. He plays more the role of the willing/unwilling accomplice then the actual perpetrator of the crime.  

A wish: He could have had a happier ending without having to die for Friede. I know, its Dark Souls. Such a thing is expected to happen in the Soulsborne series but its a wish, right? 

An oh-god-please-dont-ever-happen: That anything beyond the infatuation he had for Friede took place. Just.. No. He loved her but never could ever have her in that sense and never did. Just no, she is horrible to him. 

5 words to best describe them: Sad, lonely, birdman, withdrawn, and tragic

My nickname for them: Papa bird

And lastly for skekSo!

Why I like them: I think its as obvious as the case for Baron Dark. I like evil, smug bastards that shine through their wickedness and don't usually hold back. In the case of skekSo, I actually didn't care for him at first but then after my second viewing of the show, I started to like him more and enjoy his villainy! He's selfish, arrogant, vain, and conniving and I love it! Added that his design is really appealing to the eye and how he carries himself out, I gotta say he's one of the few villain characters from a show that makes the turn around for me to like them instead of hate them more. Also, his voice. Can NOT go wrong with that voice cause DAMN, its good and shows just how powerful a villain can be with a voice like his. And those eyes. Oh man, those eyes!

Why I don’t: Despite his villainy being the main point that caught my attention, its also a part of his downfall too. His constant greed and arrogance pushed him too far into doing what he did and ultimately cost him everything in the end; including loyal allies that end up dying for him in the long run. I hate how easily and quickly he changes his mind when actual logic is put into perspective of his plans and how quick he is to dismiss someone else when they don't please him anymore or things don't go his way for the smallest things. And yes, that is part of his character, I know that. That is what makes him as scummy as he is and why I love how trashy he is. But I also can't ignore just how easily he pushed skekVar away and believed skekSil despite knowing just what a lying bastard he is. IDK, it just feels too obvious but at the same time, it is what it is and I am not upset about it in the least x)

Favorite episode (scene if movie): Honestly, I enjoyed all the scenes with him in the show but mostly in particular with his interactions with skekVar, especially towards the end of the series. It showed a peak part of his vulnerability in his character that honestly I doubt he ever shows to anyone else. He spends most of his time pushing others around and making them fear him but with skekVar there is a sort of mutual respect going that really speaks out in a different way. Maybe I am just reading too much into it, but I always did enjoy how they interacted with one another!

Favorite season/movie: Well, skekSo didn't get much screen time in the movie other then him dying and turning to dust so.... Definitely enjoyed him more in the show then the film xD

Favorite line: "NOOOOO!" (Yes, this scene is still very infamous to me for personal reasons but the way he carried out his "no's" cracked me up each time xD)

Favorite outfit: Honestly, the main outfit he wore throughout the show. It's just so regal and goth, I love it! And as a goth and fashion enthusiast myself, I am all up for the style he has! The battle armor he wore near the end made it a tad more laughable to be honest.

OTP: I started shipping him with skekVar but ended up with an OT3 of skekVar and skekZok. So now all three of them live in a happy relationship with each other in my noodle~

Brotp: I see him being on neutral terms with skekMal! 

Head Canon: I feel that even in the show it wasn’t seen or given, but he did feel a lot of remorse and regret after the loss of skekVar. He seemed very close with him and spoke with skekVar with more trust then he did the others. Perhaps in secret he did mourn the General’s loss. 

Unpopular opinion: Does this count as an unpopular opinion? I know most people see him with just a few strands of hair but I tend to see him with a head full of long flowing white locks he keeps hidden beneath his clothes. It adds to the extra layer of vanity for a proud Emperor such as he! He looses it over time the darkening consumes him and withers down his health. 

A wish: To see what he was like as an urSkek prior to being split up into a Skeksis and urRu. Yeah, I know people don't care or like the urSkeks all that much but honestly, I would LOVE to see more urSkek lore and see what it was that made SoSu so special among his peers. It was said, after all, he had a voice that could move the stars but was conflicted and consumed with darkness. Honestly, I want to know why and who he was prior to all of this mess! SkekSo even says in the show he still has nightmares of the life before so I wonder, what they were and how it was! So much potential here, man!

An oh-god-please-dont-ever-happen: I don’t think I have any of these to be honest? At least with skekSo. Not that I can think of on top of my head now. 

5 words to best describe them: Proud, absolute piece of shit, pretty, conniving, and menacing. 

My nickname for them: Stupid idiot

[gaillol-13]

ITTHIGSS AU

Cartoon encounter

The Thrilling Adventures Of Captoon Underpants. By George Beard and Harold Hutchins

Despite it's old appearance, it was made in 2021 by cartoonists George Beard(20 and 0/5 yrs) and Harold Hutchins(21).

They said that they made the cartoon in memory of their boss, Benjamin Krupp, who was tragically killed in a car accident(?). And despite his grumpy, strict, and sarcastic nature, they did miss him (in the interview they joked that black and white cartoons were played at his high school, despite that he was in his 40s, and technology didn't work like that back in the day). And it was also based off the comic books they made when they were young.

The Cartoon itself was about George and harold (as kids) and a chubby half-naked goofy superhero called Captoon Underpants. The trio go on wacky action packed adventures, stop alot of evil baddies, or just have a bunch of fun. It has a decent amount of potty humour, well-balanced in the adult jokes department, and was a hit for kids (and even some adults) everywhere.

The only unhappy customer was Theodore Murdsly, a rich businessman with a huge company (called Ted corp), and a ego to match. The main reason he found the cartoon unacceptable was that he was a major antagonist and Captoon's rival. And it potrayed him as a selfish, cocky, greedy, perverted (yes, I went there), and lying pig (what pissed him off even more was that George and harold dont regret it one bit, even enjoyed that he was annoyed). When he stated this problem, Harold simply said "Look if you dont like that we made your character so accurate, you don't have to watch it at all."

The viewers laughed their heads off, and no one seemed to cared about Theodore's complaint.

On December 4th, seven criminals who worked for Ted kidnapped George and Harold and took them to the abandoned Jerome Horwitz school (which was also where the two cartoonists got their education) to "end the production".

When people asked how George and harold got out alive, they didn't answer and looked at each other with worry. So the police (along with class S scientist Melvin sneedly, who also went to school there) went to the school to investigate, all the evidence they found was a room with 5 dead bodies (no doubt the criminals) and a small TV.

From what Melvin described, 1 body had their neck twisted off and skinned to the bone, 2 had been hung from handmade nooses (that were, strangely, just a bunch of briefs tied together), another one had the top half of their torso missing (with teeth marks,human teeth marks), and 1 looked like it was crushed by a heavy object. There was no trace of the other 2 criminals. Here's what he said in the interview.

"Do you think George and harold are responsible for these murders?"

"Of course not! Sure, those rusty water pipes are very clever, but they wouldn't kill a human, not even if its self defense!"

"You said one was crushed, can you define exactly how?"

"Actually, it seems that the killer crushed him using...some sort of weapon. *pulls out a small broken piece of the weapon out of his pocket and shows it to the camera* I got a sample of it right here"

"The weapon was made from...grey wood?"

"That's the thing! It has the texture of wood, right?! But-but it feels... *drags finger on sample* wet, like ink, just a little. But it's also static-like!"

"Static-like?"

"Y-yeah, and its definitely solid, but it feels like you can bend it too, sorta like rubber!"

"So...its moist rubber wood that feels like...static?"

"I know I know, it sounds crazy. But thats just how it feels, we ran some tests on it, all the computers (after some errors) could say was that it was "hammer wood". So we can confirm this person used a hammer."

"But you said it was rubbery, so how could this person smash them with it?"

"They must have swung it hard, and judging from this picture... *pulls out a picture of the completly smashed corpse* ...it must have been a pretty big hammer. *chuckles a bit*"

"What's so funny?"

"Oh, nothing. Just imagining this guy smashing someone with a hammer probably bigger than his body, while its obviously barbaric and gruesome...it kinda reminds me of the captoon cartoons George and harold make..."

"It does?"

"*Nods* mm hm. *pulls out the picture of 2 criminals hanging* And they also made a noose out of underwear! There was actually a Captoon episode where Captoon kinda did that."

"What do you mean?"

"Well, *crosses his legs and smiling* Theodore said to some people something about him winning a contest and gloated that he was gonna win Edith (like that's ever gonna happen), and-"

"Do you know who Edith is in the cartoon?"

"Of course! She's Captoon's love interest, her first appearance was in "Captoon's train troubles", and just like George, Harold, Theodore, and me (yeah, I'm in there too), she's an actual person in real life. And she didn't seem to mind the role those two gave her *leans foward* if you know what I mean. *winks and leans back to his original spot*"

"*chuckles*"

"So anyway. Theodore says that, but what he didn't know was that Captoon heard and saw the whole thing through the window, and boy, did he look pissed! So Captoon tapped the window to get Theodore's attention, then pulls out a bunch of underwear from his utility waistband (one of his powers in unlimited underwear), then ties them into a noose, points at him, then at the noose, and then does the "slit-throut" gesture, all while making direct eye contact with Theodore!"

"Woah...that's kinda dark for a family-friendly cartoon."

"I know!! Captoon didn't even say a word in that moment, but that was CLEARLY a death-threat!!! He had full intentions to KILL that smug rich douchebag!!! I mean, they ARE aware kids are watching these, right?!?! Anyway, my point is whoever killed these criminals are obviously a fan of the cartoon, that would definitely explain why he let George and Harold live. *takes a sip of tea*"

"Heh, your one to talk."

"*spits out tea* NONONONOITSNOTLIKEILIKEITORANYTHING I-*ahem* Its just those two keep bugging me to watch it with them, they really love how their work turns out in the end, and I respect that, a-and I seem to remember what happens in the episodes, heh. *nervous laughter* I think we're getting a bit off track. Back to the murders."

"Right, there were seven criminals who took George and harold, but you found five. What happened to the other two?"

"Oh that's...a great question, we couldn't find them, but... *freezes for a moment* remember that there was also a small TV in the same room as the bodies were?"

"Yes."

"W-well, when I was alone in there, it was on one side of the room, and there was a door to the storage room on the other, it was a big room. I noticed there was blood, coming...o-out of...the TV screen...

"W-was there anything showing on the TV?"

"*shakes head* The TV showed nothing but static on it, but bloods was oozing out of the corners...and...when I got closer...I could hear someone...humming..."

"What?"

"*shivers* The-they were humming the Captoon theme song...I could hear it...and...hands..."

"Wha?"

"I could feel...hands...reaching out toward me...from behind...I could hear the storage room door opening...the breathing...footsteps that repeatedly stopped to tap to the rhythm of the song he was humming...that was the moment I realized the man who killed the criminals was right behind me..."

"Jeez."

"His breathing seemed like it was coming from a radio, scratchy...static-like...but that wasn't the unsettling part..."

"What was?"

"I couldn't believe what I was hearing, I KNEW one person who breathed like that, it was too familiar...but...It just...couldn't be...he's been deseased for over a year now..."

"Who?"

"... *shakes head* never mind, I think it's time for us to end the interview anyway."

To be continued.......

[ohsweetflips]

☕️ bakugou katsuki :)

[just as a general statement: i’m only at the start of season 4 !!!]

okay i LOVE bakugo like tbh i spent seasons 1 and 2 being like “oh my god i love him he’s such a shithead” but then once season 3 happened w/ the training camp and everything after i was like “oh..... OH..............” and also bc i think s3 is really when we start to see him.......... kinda reach out to his classmates? like i dont even remember the context or what he said but i remember early s3 thinking to myself “oh hey bakugo just..... gave his own form of motivation”

but like........ here is where bakugo GETS ME like, the fight he and deku had after the provisional licensing exam......... holy shit like 

1) of all things, i thought bakugo was going on the “i hate myself bc i was too weak and i got caught” route, which would’ve been heartbreaking in itself!!!! but instead we got “i hate myself bc i was too weak and i got caught and that in turn destroyed the hero i’ve admired my entire life and all might absolutely blames me” and that like. really got me tbh like i’ve always seen bakugo as a character whose pride will be his downfall and i think they really did it in such an interesting way bc bakugo truly blames himself for what happened to all might, even after all might assures him that he was going to lose his power anyway, and it just. makes me really sad, you know? bc yeah bakugo can be. aggressive. to say the least. but he’s still a kid, you know? and all might obviously cares for his students and he truly felt like he failed as bakugo’s teacher because bakugo was feeling so guilty and like. thinking back? i think we really do see that guilt? or at least the Effects of that guilt? and it makes me big sad :( not to mention the fact that, maybe it was just my interpretation, but the bakugo we see kidnapped by the LOV seemed to be scared, in his own way? like if im remembering correctly, he was like “you assholes won’t kill me, you want me for your league” but he was still Actually Thinking about his movements and what he was going to do? and during the fight with all for one, he actually admitted to himself that he was stuck? that he couldn’t get away from the LOV and therefore all might couldn’t fight to his full potential bc of the collateral damage? and just like to see bakugo Actually Accept that he’s in a bad situation + the guilt like........ oh boy

2) and also bakugo and deku’s actual fight was top tier holy shit like. the fact that deku was like “i’m not going to back down from this fight, not only am i the only one who understands what bakugo is going through and i know he needs to blow off some steam, but i’m also going to show him that he can’t push me around anymore” and bakugo like....... genuinely being upset that he beat deku? like i just keep thinking abt him asking all might why he chose deku to have one for all, especially bc bakugo then asks something along the lines of “but don’t you see that i’m weak now, too?” like.......... the fight was just so good and we saw how deku has progressed and made one for all his own quirk and also like. we almost see this tragic downfall-esque moment for bakugo? like bakugo’s fatal flaw is his pride and how he sees Any Type Of Help as a sign that he’s weak, and he finally felt this true moment of “everything i have done in my life has been wrong.” like, when he asks deku, “does this mean everything i’ve done to become just like all might has been wrong?” oh boy............. like i really want bakugo to learn that help =/= weakness, and even all might pointed it out that, while deku admires bakugo’s desire to win, bakugo “fears deku’s spirit” bc deku always acts with the intention to help others, and bakugo has always viewed that type of..... team work as a sign of weakness. i think it’s why he’s always going off on his own (like in the licensing exam), though hot take i wouldn’t be surprised if his penchant for doing his own thing is also tied to his guilt over what happened with all might

also though his friendship with kirishima???? top tier like tbh i love how kirishima seems to kinda see through bakugo and they really do seem to get each other :’)

i think my main thing with bakugo, and maybe this is a little too much heart-on-my-sleeve, but i kinda tend to have a bit of a soft spot for characters who are Angry A Lot like. maybe this sounds dumb but it’s very much this protective feeling of “ik what it’s like to be so consumed by anger that it sometimes feels like it’s the core of your personality and God do i want to see you heal” but i think that might be some projection on my end akjdsjkdjkds like i just get a bit sad bc bakugo, along with all the students, are Kids and the show doesn’t let you forget that they are Kids who always happen to be at the wrong place in the wrong time and it’s just like. i want him + all the characters to be able to heal

also tbh ik she’s only been seen like.......... twice but i have :/ thoughts :/ on bakugo’s mom and this is DEFINITELY projection but it really stood out to me how the way she described his quirk was “stupid awesome” in kinda a dismissive way and how she has that same aggressive behavior and. okay. that might have been for comedic effect like “ahahaha see how similar they are!!” like i get it and it also got a few chuckles out of me but also like. i am :/ bc parental figures play a Big Role in the show (such as deku’s love for his mom while all might essentially stands in as a father figure, todoroki having to actually address the hate he has towards his father [though i have hmm thoughts abt his situation with his mom too], and tbh i’ll even put iida with his older brother here bc of how much his goals align with making his brother/family proud) and it Really stands out to me how bakugo’s mom shares his anger/aggressive behavior but also seems to see him like. the rest of the world sees him. like while she did show care in being like “obviously i was worried about him, but when aizawa said that the LOV wouldn’t break his spirit, i knew he was in the right hands,” but i am overall very warily :/ at how similar they are, especially in a show that has already shown the depths of parental/guardian influence on its main cast of teenagers

and also there’s already been stuff said about how deku and bakugo eerily parallel all might and endeavor, right? like someone has already wrote a think-piece about that? bc with a show that actually has a very big commentary on breaking cycles of abuse (especially with todoroki), i am Big Eyes Emoji

(this isn’t to like. brush aside the mean things bakugo has done/said to deku and the other characters but like. i think it’s more than just “oh he’s just an asshole” like yeah he’s definitely abrasive and aggressive and jaded but it stems from this overwhelming sense of pride + a warped view of what it means to be a hero) (bc he really did only view being a hero as Winning and while that’s definitely a part of it, he ignored the more emotional side of it) (also don’t get me wrong his pride drives me up the wall a lot, especially thinking back to the sports festival, and again maybe this is me thinking too much or projecting, but it’s very obvious that he was heralded from the moment his quirk developed and that immediately made a recipe for disaster)

tldr: i love bakugo! a lot! he drives me up a wall but GOD get this kid some therapy <3

[sorptomber]

My thoughts on the TMA finale

before we even get into it: this is a negative post. I am not happy. Does this mean you can’t be happy? Of course not! If you got the ending you wanted then im happy for you but figuring this is where I posted all of my magnus stuff, I might as well make one last post about it here. Spoilers, obviously. (also jonny if you see this dont take it personal xx)

My english teacher always tells us that if we’re in an exam and we’ve written a few amazing paragraphs on an essay, if there’s only 10 minutes left in the exam then you’re better off just ending your essay there rather than add on a shitty rushed paragraph because it’ll bring down your mark rather than raise it because you wrote more. This is exactly how I feel with tma, especially season 5. 

I got into magnus around this time last year, it definitely took me a while to fully enjoy it though. After listening to the first 10 episodes, I hopped onto the tma subreddit and basically asked “is every episode statements?” because I wasn’t interested in them in the slightest. I’d heard about the podcast from jonmartin fanart so I expected a lot more character interaction. I fought through the first two seasons, loved the third season, adored the fourth season just for the angst and got a start on season 5 (I was fully caught up by the time 171 came out) I thought to myself “oh hey, one episode per. domain that’s cool, whatever, kinda boring but at least we’re getting to know this apocalyptic world.” What poor little me didn’t know was that the majority of season 5 would just be worldbuilding. over and over and over again. The fact they repeated fears for domains had me more horrified than any of the other statements. I obviously stopped listening a while afterwards because I genuinely found it so boring. 

I read the transcripts, if I even bothered looking at the episode at all. And I think this is where season 5 absolutely fails and kind of fucks up the entire show. We’re used to one base setting, the archives, and we’ve never really been told much about it’s appearance because it looks like a normal ass archive. Before or after each statement we’re used to having SOME sort of character interaction, jon and tim fighting or melanie going fuckin ham, thats the shit I actually listened for. In season 5 it’s all just walking and talking with jon and martin and while that doesnt sound bad, NOTHING ACTUALLY HAPPENS BETWEEN EPISODES. they just talk about the same things, have bad communication and maybe have a few cute moments so that it isnt all doom and gloom, but besides that there’s not actual substance. tma was a show where it kind of caters to two groups, the lot who just want short horror stories read by a random ass british dude and the lot who want plot and character interaction. Seasons 1-4 had both but season 5 was majority just horror anthology. That’s not a bad thing in concept, but it’s a bad thing if you suddenly get rid of most characters and decimate anything actually interesting for the remaining characters to talk about other than “what do you think will happen,” “where do you think this person is,” and random exposition, exposition which is so constantly repeated that characters within the show bring up how it’s said so often.

What frustrated me so much about the finale was that there was literally no need for it. We’ve spent nearly 30 episodes being told everything, more than everything, about this apocalyptic world, yet when it comes to the finale it’s ALL up to interpretation? I’ve listened to so much shit about this world that really failed to interest me all, telling myself itll be worth it for the ending, just for it to end with “i dont know, you decide.” It really feels like a fuckin punch in the gut. It was predictable (which isn’t always a bad thing, but this was VERY predictable) and unsatisfying. I know I’m not alone on this either, I’ve spoken to friends who have thought the exact same thing. It was altogether just a very disappointing end to such a fantastic show.

Personally, I feel like it could have ended pretty nicely at season 3 or 4, maybe jon could have died at the end of season 3, leaving martin behind to deal with elias plans, thats pretty tragic. Or at the end of season 4 maybe jon could have actually killed jonah himself and then run away with martin to safe house, maybe they decide to start a new life there and they never hear from Basira, Melanie or Georgie again, neither of them know what Dasies fate was. Obviously this is just off the top of my head, and I’m pretty sure Jonny had this planned out from the start. I think he still made an incredible piece of media, it get me out of a really bad case of art block and basically carried me through the first lockdown, but I think it’s the execution that let it down in the end.

I don’t know. this is all just me rambling, but I figured I had to let it all out somewhere. magnus was a great experience and I’m glad I got to be a part of the fandom while it was arguably at it’s peak. I’ll definitely keep an eye on rusty quill and jonnys works, but I have to say that I’m just really dissappointed with how magnus ended after the amazing run it had. 

[imagine-loki]

Once Upon a Unrequited Love

TITLE: Once Upon an Unrequited Love

CHAPTER NO./ONE SHOT: 3/?

AUTHOR: tragically-sarcastic

ORIGINAL IMAGINE:  imagine Part One Part Two

RATING:

NOTES/WARNINGS: I love feedback from y’all in the comments, don’t be shy! How did y’all like the letter? I told you I was gonna hurt you a little bit ;p Not as much hurt this time, but those should come soon enough.

————————————

I lean up against the door way leading into my kitchen after I shake myself out of my memories. 

I watch Loki for a moment, he knows I’m here. In all the time we knew each other, no one was ever able to sneak up on him. 

“You’re awake I see.” He says while looking at the pan in front of him.

“I figured it was ok for me to make myself at home, with you being asleep and all.” He chuckles as he puts the two grilled cheese sandwiches on plates.  

He turns around, a plate in each hand. The look on my face must not be very welcoming because his grin fades a fraction. 

He looks down as he sets the plates down and sits in the chair across from me. He sets his elbows on the table, looking down at his hands. 

“I know you want to know the reason that I’m here, after twenty years. The truth is I’m in need of a place to stay for few months at the least.” He meets my eyes from across the table. 

“When I realized I needed a safe place, I thought of you.” 

I look back up at him. His words light a small flame of hope in me, a flame I had smothered years ago. I hate myself for how easy that hope came back.

“I need somewhere to stay for awhile, just to lay low out of view.” He shrugs and looks away. 

“When I thought of where I could go I thought of you, you are one hard woman to find. So if it took me so long to find you, no one else has a chance.” He looks back at my face. His eyes lose the mask of indifference he had been hiding behind.

“You were right, about one thing at least, in your letter all those years ago. I truly regret how I spoke to you that day.” He looks down at his hands. 

“But you were wrong about another, “ He looks nervous but determined.

“I felt the exact same way towards you as you confessed to feeling about me. I was a clueless fool, and I hadn’t truly admitted it, not even to myself.” He looks back up at me.

I’m shocked into silence, again.

“If you had told me how you felt any other day I would’ve never let you walk away from me.” He shakes his head. I see his jaw clench. 

“To be honest with you I had several people who I thought were my friends back then saying that you were using me because you wanted to be a princess.” He looks away. 

“That day they had just finished saying that you would “confess your feelings” to me in an effort to speed up the process.” The laugh he releases is humorless. 

“After you left, and I realized my mistake, I looked for you. I looked everywhere. Then a few… unforeseen events happened. I found out some things about myself, my history, that flipped my world upside down. Needless to say, I was already distraught and angry at myself for how I treated you. I did not handle the…situation well at all to put it very lightly.” 

“I was a stupid blind fool. I know in your letter it says you forgave me. But I don’t deserve it, you never deserved to be treated so horridly.” He says earnestly.

I run my tongue across my top lip, trying to think of something to say. There is nothing I wouldn’t have given to hear this twenty years ago, but now? I’m not sure what he thinks he’ll accomplish with this. 

He knows I would let him stay, he could always read me like a book when it came to everything but my feelings for him. He should know that I wouldn’t have the heart to turn him away when he’s in danger. 

“Loki,” I say hesitantly. “it sounds to me that the people who you trusted made you believe lies. Which is ironic considering what you are the god of.” I say with a small smile. 

“I hope you didn’t go though all this trouble finding me just to confess about feelings you had twenty years ago.” I say, my eyebrows going down in seriousness.

“I really do need somewhere to lay low, I wasn’t being dishonest about that. I don’t know if you know but I haven’t been the best person in the last 20 years. I just finished serving time on Midgard for my crimes. Asgard has been destroyed and I’m pretty sure no one wants me to hang around on any other planet for fear that I’ll cause chaos.” He says with a  self depreciating smile. 

“I dont have anywhere else to go, so what do you say? Will you have me?”

What other answer is there besides yes? My feelings for this man started to fade over the years but he was still my best friend before I left. I still care deeply for him. I’ve never been able to say no to him and it looks to me like he needs a true friend to get back to his old self again.

“Loki, of course you can stay. It will be nice to talk to someone other than myself again.” I put my hand on his, he looks so much sadder now, the things he’s been through in his life have really taken its toll on the silly trickster I used to know. I hope I can help him get back to his old self before he leaves again. 

•Loki•

The look in her eyes, so honest, so trusting. The fact that she can even look at me without anger shows just how amazing she is. 

I know that the best thing for her is to stay away, let her live her life carefree. Without me making her remember the pain I caused her. 

Unfortunately, I’m a selfish bastard, and now that Ive found her I don’t plan on ever making the mistake of losing her again.

•Past•

She’s…gone? 

I hardly feel the letter flutter from my hands, I’ve gone numb everywhere except my chest. A deep pain has taken residence there, a pain that’s been caused by my blindness, my stupidity. 

Why did I listen to those idiots! Hasn’t she shown time and again that she liked me as a person, not me as a prince?

Screw what she asks of me! I will find her. I will bring her back to me.

With new determination I pick up the letter that just broke my heart. Her smooth handwriting that she always says she hates spread out over the page. 

I will find her, I’m not sure how long I’ll stay sane without her.

[neverlearnedtoread]

An Enchantment of Ravens

⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐: sad love story? dude im about to jump on this sick faerie horse and slay an all-powerful fae king, i dont even remember what a tragic ending is

Oh?? 👌😉😏

cute fluffy love story - we need all the serotonin we can get in this society!!!

non-powered heroine who survives by being consistently level-headed and quick-thinking - isobel really said #galaxybrain rights

aloof but ultimately v loveable male love interest

nature spirit!fae and fun mashup of classic fae lore - you can tell the author really had fun doing her own take on fairytale tropes!

writing style - any style that remotely reminds me of dwj wins in my book

No.. ❌🤢🤮

a travelling story - which is apparently something people don’t like reading about? idk, if you’re not into smelling the roses, this isn’t your book

not enough fluff - even though this book is like eating cotton candy. but tbh there should’ve been more making out (just one more make out scene, margaret rogerson, please........do it for the serotonin)

Summary: A portrait artist who lives in a small town called Whimsy gets commissioned by a faerie prince of the autumn court to paint his likeness. As is inevitable in all stories involving customer service, he gets mad at her for some misunderstanding that wasn’t her fault in the first place, and takes her away to the fairylands to stand trial for her despicable art crimes.

Concept: 💭💭💭💭💭

The cover looked gorgeous, so I was gonna pick it up eventually, but then I heard it was supposed to be pure tooth-rotting fluff so I bumped it up on my ‘to-read’ list. You can never read too much fluff! Plus I’d read the excerpt while browsing books, and the writing style was so atmospheric and beautiful and melodic....not too flowery, until I didn’t know my ass from my elbow, but not blunt either. It’s not often I find a writing style that makes me sit up and take notice. And I’m always game for more takes on fae lore.

Some spoilers under the cut!

Execution: 💥💥💥💥💥

What a good take on fae lore it turned out to be! It felt like reading a cute fanfiction about characters I already knew. Usually romance books aren’t the best time for me, because I’m so picky about the characters and their chemistry together - but this managed to be just the right sort of whimsical and sweet and humanizing to make it work. I also loved how you had to put a lot of things together on your own - the first-person narrative was used to great effect, because what details the protagonist could pick up were left to her - and the reader - to figure out. I like books that don’t hold your hand about worldbuilding - it gives you room to make your own interpretations.

Personal Enjoyment: ❤❤❤❤❤

Ironically, when I love a book, I deliberately take longer to finish. I backtrack from where I stopped last, mutter lines to myself out loud to hear the tonal inflection, stop to walk around the house with a dumb smile on my face - this book only had 300+ pages, and should’ve been easy to finish in a few hours; I dragged it out over two days. I think I restarted a chapter like 5 times because I wanted to read the whole scene again. The story’s not grand, but what it had to say resonated with me. So much of media nowadays is obsessed with ‘bittersweet endings’, with consequences and sacrifice - sometimes it’s okay to have a story where good things happen to good people, because they refuse to settle for anything less.

Fave Moment: So many.....every time Rook was embarrassed, I bookmarked the page 😂😂 we love seeing a hot guy drink his humility juice. The top contender here is probably the scene when he first appears to Isobel after the painting was sent to Autumn Court, furious and scared and determined to make her stand trial for her Emotion Crimes (she made me feel a feeling! I don’t like it make it stop!! I am a prince!!!), up to the part they escape the Winter Hunt - everything Isobel did to escape was so quick and clever, my girl had all the braincells working overtime

Fave Character: Isobel is far-and-away the best character, but because we’re not being objective here, Rook takes the top spot. His utter lack of understanding for a lot some of Isobel’s actions, especially when she shows emotion, didn’t mean he couldn’t still be romantic as hell - like when he took her to the Green Well, she said ‘that’s not going to work for me, i could never give up painting’, and he went ‘oh, okay. i won’t bring it up again’. He clearly didn’t understand her reasoning!! but he honoured her wishes anyway. I also liked that Rook only had one previous brush with romance, and the girl rejected him. Generally male love interests are more #experienced, with girls all over them, but Rook? Rook fell in love once and got his ass cancelled all the way back to the autumn court. His vulnerabilities made sense to me, and that’s rare for a YA male love interest.

[moonguilt]

random klance and adashi headcanons? 🥺🤲

i have been meaning to put some grocery shopping headcanons out there… so here u go (plenty more beneath the cut as well):

-when keith and lance are falling in love and in their honeymoon phase with each other, they jump at the opportunity to go grocery shopping together because a) they wanna spend every moment with each other, and b) it’s domestic af and it makes them feel like they Have Something

-once they’ve been together a while, the novelty wears off and the laziness kicks in and they both try to find increasingly ridiculous ways to get the other person to go shopping without them

-keith usually goes for willful/feigned ignorance: “what kind of toothpaste did you say you wanted?” like 4 separate times, and then “idk they all look the same to me, i usually just grab whatever” and when lance inevitably goes on a tirade about the importance of his Very Specific brand and flavor, keith concludes with a “maybe you should buy it in person if you want to be sure you get the right one”

-lance’s tactic neglects logos and instead relies on pathos: “keeeith i am so tired” “keeeith my toes are still so cold from the walk home” “i promise i’ll go next time keith pleeeaase kosmo is in my lap and he’s so comfy look at him keith look. we are having a bonding moment keith dont interrupt us”

-when lance REALLY wants something Very Specific and is genuinely worried that keith will mess it up, he will give in to keith’s strategy and just go shopping himself, but 90% of the time keith is a Weak man and lance always gives him a big toothy grin and a kiss whenever he agrees so honestly you can’t blame him

-also it gives him a chance to restock his emergency midnight snack lunchables stash without lance giving him the “you are a grown man and my mamá gave me so many good recipes for us to try out and yet you choose to bring this under our roof” lecture (even though keith is sure that he bought 5 packs last time and only ate 3 of them but now their pantry is mysteriously devoid of lunchables, which means somebody in this house is lying about their disdain for lunchables)

-but ANYWAY sometimes they still actually do go to the store together just like old times and when they do:

-taking turns doing the thing where you run and put your weight on the back of the shopping cart and let it glide-(getting caught doing exactly that by an employee and being told off for it after they nearly knock over a chef boyardee can display)

-choosing an item on the list that they have no idea where to find & racing each other to see who can find it first

-“do you see this toothpaste keith. do you see this? can you see the name? can you read the flavor? you see how it says ‘for sensitive teeth’? do you see it?”-“considering you are practically shoving it down my throat, yes.”-“well then maybe your esophagus will be able to remember it for you next time you go shopping”

-keith grabbing the last pack of rainbow gold fish bc they are his favorite-toddler wanted those goldfish & starts crying-”ah shit fuck hey hey hey uhhh” cue keith turning a desperate look toward lance bc he Does Not Know how tf to handle small crying child-lance is like “dude, baby, sweetheart, my man, just give him the goldfish we can get the regular ones”-but keiths like?? bitch?? i got these first?? also im gay and these are my pride fish?? dont be homophobic-lance is about to argue with him abt it but then the kid’s mom gets involved and is like “how could you make my baby cry he’s just a kid let him have his goldfish dont be selfish”-you’ve activated Protective Lance mode-“um okay first of all, rude, keith got them first. second of all, this isnt even healthy for your kid. THIRD of all these are rainbow colored and keith is gay so maybe dont be homophobic??”-things escalate and keith and lance nearly throw down with karen and little jimmy in the snack aisle-they savor every last one of those fucking rainbow goldfish later that night, just out of pure gay spite

-lance spending several minutes inspecting individual broccoli stalks meticulously to make sure they buy only the very best-he narrows it down to two but keeps debating between them until keith comes up behind him and slumps against his back, wrapping his arms around lance’s waist and muttering something about how cold the produce aisle is-lance makes a snarky comment about keith being a whiny baby & keith retaliates by slipping his freezing fingers under lance’s shirt, prompting a startled yelp and giving keith the opportunity to pluck a broccoli stalk from lance’s hand and put it in the cart

-“okay, while we’re here, let’s grab a cucumber for the salad”-“gotcha, one cucumber coming right up–.. hey.. hey, keith, this one kinda looks like a–hehehe–hey keith, do you think i could–hnnkeehehe–do you think i could fit this one up–”-“oh my god”-“what do you say keith–you, me, this cucumber, a bottle of wine–”-“alright im getting on line.”-“wait wait babe im kidding come back let me put the cucumber in the cart”-“NO go get a different one, i am NOT letting that one anywhere near our salad”

-selfies with the local Stop & Shop robot. lance thinks it’s kind of creepy but keith thinks it’s cute and lance thinks that’s cute, so

-“lance we left the reusable bags in the car”-“quiznak. well that’s okay, we can just use plastic bags this one time and i’ll make sure we put them to good use at home so it’s not wastefu–”-“no. we paid money for our bags. we have to use them. i’ll be right back”-“keith we parked way down on the other side of the–oh my god KEITH WATCH OUT FOR THAT OLD LADY holy shit SLOW DOWN oh my god man”

-keith tries to sneak those storebought sugar cookies, you know the clear-boxed ones that they always put out front with holiday-colored frosting and sprinkles, into their cart-“keith what is with your obsession with processed food”-“it was all had to eat when i was living alone in the desert”---“baby that is very sad and you know i empathize with your tragic anime backstory but put those godawful abominations back or so help me”

-only, keith isn’t the only one who likes processed food

-yeah, another reason keith is so used to it is because even after he started living with shiro, he kept eating that junk because that’s all shiro ever ate too

-shiro is a slut for kraft mac & cheese

-this presents a problem for him and adam, because adam loves spicy food and loves to make spicy food for shiro to eat

-but shiro is a big baby, and due to his inability to cook and his subsequent reliance on kraft & campbell’s & top ramen, he basically has white people taste buds

-adam is scandalized when he learns this the hard way after finding shiro nearly in tears over his half-eaten serving of dum aloo

-adam promptly declares that shiro needs a culinary intervention and they have been working towards the recovery of his palate ever since

-shiro is a creature of habit though, and he will try to convince adam to let them buy kraft mac & cheese whenever they go to the store together (which is often because unlike keith and lance, they never got tired of it and they still consider it a romantic domestic activity to this day. they’re just gay like that)

-when keith and shiro have their “broganights” together they indulge in all their crappy processed comfort food, much to the consternation of lance and adam, who bond over their shared exasperation and begrudging affection for their respective partners