#but dont act like its 100% confirmed
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One reason I think the "GlaDos/Caroline is actually Chell's mother because she sang Cara Mia" theory is bullshit is because I just know if the two characters were dudes everyone would be falling over themselves to yell about how gay and shippy it is
#shout out to people who interpret cara mia as a love song#you people get me#portal#yuri#no disrespect to the caroline is chells mother enjoyers#but dont act like its 100% confirmed#because of a song that can be easily interpreted as romantic#chelldos#caroline portal#glados#chell portal
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oh my fucking god i feel. SO stupid rn at How i didnt make the (super sane very normal just absolutely. Yes. Surely) connection earlier but uhh
so anyway im now like 89% certain that whatever the "traces" of the narwhal that remain on ajax and facilitate their (ever-growing) innate connection are like. an actually fundamental aspect of it (them?) more or less.
why? because if you consider its pov just for a moment. the narwhal was literally about to depart teyvat for good. it had nearly finished consuming the primordial sea and preparing to breach surface to finish the job by eating the french for the leftovers their human bodies were made from. its an interstellar voyager it does not linger on planets it devours. it goes glug glug and it leaves.
and like if it wasnt for traveler intervening its confirmed through narzissenkreuz and renes world formula that teyvat wouldve just been destroyed. no one could have stopped the narwhal not neuvillette not focalors not anyone.
so what was the one other thing it did right before going for that french brunch? calling for ajax. getting them reunited in the primordial sea. like all the possible implications aside bc theres many different ways to speculate on the exact reasons why and the nature of that link. the point remains.
it wasnt leaving teyvat without finding him.
like the narwhal is about to fucking Dip from this cringe planet and whatever part of it that ajax carries within himself his narwhal Absolutely wanted to be reunited with. what the fuck am i supposed to read from that. hoyo???????!??! answers?!?!?!
and its not only the calling from the narwhal side itself either bc this is ALL coinciding with the growth of a 'restless power' within ajax and his vision malfunctioning (the things celestia is literally confirmed to harvest energy thru to repair its damaged authority) and his connection with the narwhal reaching an actual conscious level (arguably subconscious n emotional too bc i find it Curious his mood is poor right as the narwhal is repeatedly described as positively malding to the point its boss fight mechanic is literally a rage meter). ajax' power is growing. his destiny is starting to shift and something is drawing him to fontaine... right as the narwhal is getting close to finished with the primordial sea. funny how it overlaps eh. how it aligns 🤨🤨 why are they orbiting each other like this (they should kiss)
(& not to even Mention how ajax just Happened to get that absolutely exponential and borderline unbelievable feat of power spike in extending his foul legacy endurance as massively as he did. while. within the primordial sea. with his narwhal. who had at that point all but incorporated the power of that sea into itself. i s2g if childe was getting passive home turf co-op bonus exp with a 4x multiplier automatically the whole 40+ days 💀💀)
#man the way its lovely reunion but tjen ajax fucking ATTACKS IT ON SIGHT you couldve gotten married!!!!11!1 fucking unbearable i am in agony#anyway contrary to popular belief we still have no fucking clue whether ajax' link to the narwhal was innate#skirk saying the traces remain on him after meeting it isnt saying tht much. the parts he shares w it couldve well been innate but dormant#instead. also just the fact that he woke it up already shady#then like. monoceros caeli being his from the beginning is completely plausible despite ppl acting like its been confirmed his const change#and like them being halves of the same entity on some lvl would make the narwhal being so weak without him n until ajax found it again#make very much. sense. anyway ajax toxicity jokes aside if the narwhal was just trying to eat him point blank without even a hello#i do get why hed react aggressively. but also bros been telling everyone n their mom hes fighting his narwhal the seconf he finds it again😔#so i feel somewhat confident in assuming he started that 40+ days brawl#anyway if ajax Isnt the celestial narwhal on some level or possibly becoming it as their link grows.#riddle me this atheists. why is his 3rd phase boss theme. the song about His individual murderous rage at us#bc he thought he was outplayed by us. His personal wrath#whys the song for that called the wrath of the celestial narwhal. of the star swallowing whale. Hmmmge. his individual rage.#why does tusk of monoceros caeli speak of him embracing the narwhals innate qualities as embracing mere parts of Himself#funny how tjat goes!! (the OST n boss drop is not 100% serious theory but it does drive me insane. bc why would they phrase it like that)#anyway either theyre 2 halves same original entity or theyre soulmates idgaf . they should fold teyvat in half and eat it for brunch#aaand im going to be consumed by this realization for the next month wish me luck#WHY DID IT NEED HIM THERE SO BADLY???? HUH??????#i mean relatable dont we all. but its sooooooooo inch resting. Curious indeed#rambles#genshin#childe#childeposting#narwhalposting
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The real question is...why is this girl occupying my thoughts...
Why does tumblr have a 30 tag limit
#and NOT in a good way#.evature#not in a crush way either#she acts like we're best buddies#but we never hang out just the two of us#she always just asks: whos out today! and then ME FOR SOME REASON ALWAYS RESPONDS WITH: me!#like: me to me: DONT TELL HER THAT#😀#i hung out with her today w this other girlfriend and i felt so small#it wasnt intentional#but i felt like i couldnt b myself in a way where i was hesitating when i should speak abd i was like oh i havent spoken at all in the last#5 mins and maybe thats a sign that smth is up with me!#and my relationship to these ppl!#and its not the firzt time ive felt uneasy ab this girl#she acts like she knows me so well and it annoys me because she doesnt and im frustrated that shes frisnds w all my friends so i cant rlly#confide in them!!!!#🙂🙂🙂🙂#she has this idea that im still doing psych ajd its like; girl ive corrected you 200 times ab that#whatever#i am majorijg in whatever u think i am 🙄#and then on top of that#today i mentioned that i dont go near a shopping centre bc my ex works there#and she was like#oh yeah when i saw him he was nice ajd i told my mum ab what he did to you and she was like i knew it#WHICH IS CRAZY BC I NEVER CONFIDED IN HER AB ANYTHING???#at least i dont remember!! at all!!!!!#and i dont think i wouldve!#bc i would remember!#so a) what does SHE think happened. b) how did she find out or get this idea ab what happened 💀#its making me feel a bit uncomfortable bc that single sentence CONFIRMS to me at least that she 100% probablt talks ab me behind my back
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Shinning Beauty - Charlie Bushnell
Pt. 2 for my ballerina
Pov - your a profesional ballet dancer and Charlie is your boyfriend
Pairing - Charlie Bushnell x fem!Oc ballet dancer
@yn.ln
Liked by dior.n.goodjohn, iamcharliebushnell, walker.scobell and 27,629 others
yn.ln - last of rehearsals before the show tmw night 🩰 Also HELLOOO? Episode 5 made me cry like a baby @percyjacksonseries
📸: @iamcharliebushnell
Comments
leahsavajeffries - so excited to see youuuu
↪️ yn.ln - even more excited to see you xxx
iamcharliebushnell - genuine question why do you always look so gorgeous 😍
↪️ yn.ln - stoooppp I love you so much 😭
dior.n.goodjohn - YOU BEAUTIFUL ANGELLLLL 😍
↪️ yn.ln - I LOVE YOU DIOR😘
walker.scobell - 🫅
↪️ yn.ln - don’t even I’m still sensitive
leenascobell - so excited to see my baby again it’s been too long
↪️ yn.ln - LEEEEENA MY LOVE
aryan.simhadri - how can you not cry while watching episode 5 is my question
↪️ yn.ln - RIGHTTTTTT my percabeth heart was SCREAMINGGG
↪️ iamcharliebushnell - I can confirm
@iamcharliebushnell
Liked by yn.ln, aryansimhadri, momonatamada and 876,193 others
Iamcharliebushnell - can confirm she actually did cry watching episode 5 and later had to go outside to reflect on it
Tagged yn.ln
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walker.scobell - she’s so real for that
↪️ yn.ln - walker your acting killed me in this episode
dior.n.goodjohn - bet she looks pretty even when she’s crying
↪️ iamcharliebushnell- she looks pretty all the time
↪️yn.ln - mr bushnell u sure do know how to make a lady blush 🤭
↪️iamcharliebushnell - what can I say I try my best for my girl
↪️ walker.scobell - get a room
yn.ln - DONT MAKE FUN OF ME OKAY IM A SENTIMENTAL PERSON
↪️ yn.ln - AND A VERY BIG PERCABETH SHIPPER
↪️ iamcharliebushnell - I know sweetheart I know
aryansimhadri- those cookies look so good 👀
↪️ yn.ln - THANK YOUUU I tried my best
↪️ walker.scobell - omggg I want to try them
↪️ yn.ln - I’ll bring you some
↪️ iamcharliebushnell - walker stop trying to steal my girlfriend
↪️ walker.scobell - WHAT DID I DO? I only asked her for some cookies man :(
i.am.andrew.alvarez - she’s like me Fr
↪️ yn.ln - you get me drew
@yn.ln
Liked by iamcharliebushnell, walker.scobell, leahsavajeffries and 46,788 others
yn.ln - so incredibly thankful of everyone that came to see me tonight. Couldn’t have done it without the support of everyone. Special thanks to my man that no matter what is always there watching me across the room applauding me and supporting me as always. I love you Char 💕
Tagged iamcharliebushnell
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dior.n.goodjohn - AHHHHH YOU WERE AMAZING 😍😍😍😍😍
↪️ yn.ln - stoppppp I love youuuuu
leahsavajeffries - you were for sure the best out there on stage
↪️ yn.ln - I love you leahhh 🫶🏻
iamcharliebushnell - I’ll always be there looking at you from the front row
↪️ yn.ln - and ill always be grateful of your presence 💕 I love you baby
leena.scobell - YOU WERE UNBELIEVABLE BEST BALLET SHOW IVE EBER SEEN
↪️ yn.ln - I love you leena 🫶🏻
user - I love the fact that Charlie always gives you flowers after a show
↪️ yn.ln - IKR! He’s all I’ve ever wanted best bf ever frr
walker.scobell - for someone who doesn’t watch this often I loved every second of it
↪️ yn.ln - awwwww I’m so happy you loved it 🫶🏻 thank you for coming tn
iamcharliebushnell - you were shining beauty tonight, how did I get so lucky?
↪️ yn.ln - ughhhh everyday you say something that makes me fall more in love with you 😍😭
yn.ln - BTW EVRYONE GO WATCH PERCY JACKSON SERIES SERIOUSLY ITS AMAZING 🤩
percyseries - looking like a real Aphrodite’s daughter
↪️ user - ?!?!???
↪️ user67 - WHAT DOES THSI MEAN
↪️ pjofan268 - HELLOOOO
↪️ yn.ln - 👀
@iamcharliebushnell
Liked by walker.scobell, leahsavajeffries, yn.ln and 1,663,394 others
iamcharliebushnell - celebrating this beauties amazing work
Tagged yn.ln
Comments
dior.n.goodjohn - she was Beyond amazing tn
↪️ momonatamada - 100% agree
leena.scobell - she’s so talented omg
↪️yn.ln - 🫶🏻🫶🏻
leahsavajeffries - she’s so ethereal my god
↪️ iamcharliebushnell- why’d you think I feel in love with her?
yn.ln - I love you 💕
↪️ iamcharliebushnell- I love you more 💕
walker.scobell - thank for the dinner man 🙏
↪️iamcharliebushnell- bet ur loving not having to pay for once
↪️ walker.scobell - I really am 😗
@yn.ln
Liked by dior.n.goodjohn, walker.scobell, iamcharliebushnell and 123,567 others
yn.ln - and that’s an end for the night 💋
Comments
walker.scobell - that scream you gave scared me the same if not more that diors did
↪️ yn.ln - LMAOOOOO 😭
dior.n.goodjohn - baeee ur acting skills are on point
↪️ yn.ln - 👀
↪️ percyseries - 👀
aryansimadri - slayed the house boots down Houston Im deceased 💅
↪️ yn.ln - 💀Aryan bby that’s enough tik tok for today
Iamcharliebushnell - 😍
↪️ walker.scobell- we get it now shut up
↪️ leahsavajeffries- walker let them be it’s not their fault ur single
↪️ walker.scobell - yk sometimes I hate u
↪️ leahsavajeffries- no u don’t
#charlie bushnell#percy jackson#walker scobell#charlie bushnell x reader#dior goodjohn#leah sava jeffries#aryansimhadri#percy jackon and the olympians#instagram au#charliebushnell x you#pjo tv show#pjo series#pjo#luke castellan x reader#luke castellan#percy jackson x reader
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I can completely break down the notion that jews do not experience ethnic discrimination within western countries, specifically the USA.
for context I am genetically half jewish and half italian, and since I was born i have been more connected to judaism in a cultural and a religious sense. though its not a huge part of my life like judaism is it's definitely still important.
a lot of people like to argue that jews were once not seen as white and now we are, just like Italians, Greeks, Irish, etc were (at least in the USA) and I can confirm that's total bullshit. I have, not once in my life, been treated badly for being Italian. I have never had someone shame me for my appearance, make fun of my cultural food, threaten me, insult me, insult my father, say they wish I died, harassed me, or any other violent or demeaning acts because im Italian. not once in my entire life has that happened. even living in the rural USA where traditional white supremacy is alive and well that did not happen.
yet I have absolutely been harassed, verbally abused, demeaned, belittled, etc. for being jewish. Ive experienced antisemitism since I was 5 and possibly younger. ive heard holocaust jokes, nose/eye jokes, had swastikas drawn on my things, received death threats, gotten rape threats, been called a murderer, been told I should burn, was told I was poisoning the seas, had people deny my very real trauma, was told that I should've stayed dead (for context I overdosed and had to be resuscitated once), and many more things all because im jewish. these are just instances in which it was specifically mentioned or heavily heavily implied that its because im jewish.
Many of these things happened when theae people didn't even know I'm a practicing jew and some even when I stopped practicing for a couple years. a lot of the time the only reason they had to believe I was jewish was my appearance and yeah sure they were right but what it shows is that appearance alone is enough for people to be antisemitic. you know, if jews weren't ethnically discriminated then why do people target us for having things like large noses and curly hair? or for the foods that we eat? or for anything that isnt directly related to religious practices?
anyway I dont believe for a second that anyone who thinks jews dont experience ethnic discrimination in the USA has ever had a genuine conversation with a jew about antisemitism. 5 year old me did not deserve to feel like he was ugly all for some assholes to say that jews are making all this up.
☆this is part 2 in which I will add important context bc if anyone is gonna overanalyze my argument its me. u can read it if you want its not necessary to understand the post.
like I said I have spent most of my life in rural areas where there are many less jews than in big cities and obvious white supremacy is common. im 100% sure this affected a lot of the antisemitism i received.
I am sephardic, not ashkenazi. most goyim do not have a clue what this means. those who do generally think it means "jewish but spicier and more exotic (aka less american)" which could have contributed to some of the discrimination i faced for not being seen as American enough.
this is my experience not anyone else's! I am not discrediting what other people have gone though regarding any experiences with discrimination
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People calling Hobie×Miles (punkflower) shippers proshippers as if we didn't ship them for longer than the movie even came out will always be crazy to me.
I've seen lots of people sending threats, or reporting people because they made punkflower, goldenflower (pavxhobie), ghostbyte (gwenxmargo), flowerbyte (margoxmiles), etc, arts or videos. Going to assume that it isn't because most of these ships are POCs ships, there's just literally no point to do that.
First of all, there's no confirmation of hobie's age. If ur basing urself of that one interview, then it was of the CONCEPT of hobie, and even so remember it was only one person who said it. Its heavily implied thats he's a teenager throughout the movie. (Also in the art book, its said that he's slightly older than Miles).
For the thing about him going to the pub and all, minors can and will go in pubs, (not saying that its always legal) are yall living under a rock or just dense on purpose? Teenagers do wtv the fuck they want, even when theyre not allowed to. Youre all going to tell me teenagers respect the rules of not drinking and go to clubs becuz theyre underage? Come off it. Also hobie literally merked his president and u think he'd draw the line at drinking alcohol as a minor? HA.
Aside from that, to be fair to everyone, the directors keeps on changing what they're saying about hobies age, one day they'll say and imply he's a minor and the next second say he's an adult. It's like they all have different idea of this character's age. So, nothing is really comfimed, and his age is really up to interpretation.
Now that we're past THAT point, the other kind of people talking about his age are people saying "oh but he looks old" "that man is most definitely 30yo" "there's no way he's underage" things of the sort, u get it. And I'm just over here like??? Why is it impossible for you to think that this guy could be a teen? Is it the air? The wrinkles? What makes it seem like for you that there's no way he could be around the other teens' age? And 30??? Cmon. People often assume black people are older than they look, which is a universal experience for all of us. Did none of u ever see a blk teen who doesnt have a baby face? Because thats literally what hobie looks like to me. To others we can seem too "mature" for our age, or just look too "old" to be the age we say we are, so is it really impossible for him to be a teenager? Think about it.
(Speaking of him being black, this discourse turned into some kind of racist thing that honestly was not unexpected at all. Yall come over here shitting on people talking and educating u about a character they relate to cuz hes like them, and the representation is making them go bonkers. I don't know why yall can just sit ur arses and listen for a bit, its not that difficult tbh. And dont get me started on the mischaracterisation of his character. Marking him as "an angry black man"? Really? Be. Fucking. Original.)
Same goes with Margo?? Yeah in the comics she's in college, but cmon now u guys know damn well she's a teenager in atsv😭. Gwen is also much older in the comics but i never see anyone talk about it, so what does that mean???The only reasons I can see that you all don't want Miles & margo to be together is because you're all stuck on the milesxgwen ship. News everyone, other ships exist, not everyone is going to like the same ships as you, so either move on or stop being on the Internet.
Also, the thing about pav being 13 is bonkers, where'd u even get that from? I need to know asap. "Oh, but he has a gf!" Yeah? Well he has two hands. (Idk why u all act as if that has ever stopped anyone)
Everything just seem like a race thing to me tbh.
The movies might be inspired from the comics, but not everything is going to be 100% the same. For exemple: gwen is 2 yrs older than Miles in the comics, but in movies she's only 15 months older, Jess Drew is white in the comics and black in the movie, Miguel O'hara is white passing in the comics, compared to his version in atsv where he has brown skin, lyla's disign is also different.
You get it? Things are going to differ as much as things are going to be the same, because (get ready!!) this is the multiverse! Just as earth-616 is just one universe in all the marvel comics, atsv is another universe.
All in all, im not saying u can't view them as adults, or wtv u want, thats ur interpretation, but don't go around being pissy at people around u cuz they have different point of views.
#accross the spiderverse#spider man: across the spider verse#hobie spiderverse#spider punk#hobie atsv#hobie brown#miles morales#gwen stacy#pavitr prabhakar#margo kess#spiderman#spiderman atsv#atsv#punkflower#ghostbyte#chaipunk#goldenpunk#chaiflower#goldenflower#discourse#honestly the movie was a vine just enjoy it
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btw yall im still SO confused on what nezha's age is supposed to be in lmk?? he looks, sounds and acts like an adult, he does adult things like driving n shit like that- the creators confirmed he's depicted as an adult, and there's even a scene in s4 of nezha when he was supposedly younger than he is now, which i GUESS is supposed to be 12 year old him?? thats how i interpret it at least
im only asking this bc i dont wanna draw ship art of my sona x him unless i can 100% confirm that its okay to do so! i liked nezha a lot when he was first introduced in the show and was under the impression that he's an adult, so i ended up confused when i saw "dni nezha x anyone shippers" and discourse of him being 12 years old-
ive come to understand that nezha in the og jttw is eternally 12 years old after looking it up, but does that mean the same goes for him in the show?
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There’s this one e/riel who recently said “azriel was loyal to the mor for hundreds of years and he hadn't even gotten confirmation she liked him back so what makes y'all think he's about to be giving up on elain anytime soon Imfao” and then another one replied “And that man is evidently more down bad for Elain than he ever was with Mor so imagine at least another 500+ years of yearning for Elain. He physically can't stay away”
Rhys asked Azriel about Mor and wasn’t able to respond. Didn’t tell Rhys that he doesn’t love her anymore, doesn’t have feelings for her anymore, or is starting to get over her, and I think that’s why Rhys acted the way he did, because Azriel wasn’t able to give an answer, but if Az did give off the slightest hint of having genuine feelings for Elain then Rhys would’ve acted differently and likely would’ve told Az to wait for Elain to break the mating bond with Lucien or to be patient. And Azriel being “evidently more down bad for Elain than he ever was with Mor” is so funny to me. All we got with Az & Elain in his chapter was lust and jealousy when Sarah could’ve put something that showed romantic interest (genuine feelings) but didn’t. It would’ve been easy for her to do so. Lust doesn’t mean love. Sexual attraction isn’t that deep. There’s nothing wrong with the sexual attraction, but him not being able to plan beyond his fantasies and his self loathing toward himself wasn’t okay. That’s the problem I and others have. How he talked about himself was very unhealthy. There were actually people who did ship e/riel but stopped after reading the bonus chapter/acosf, and that’s saying something.
If Mor showed the slightest interest in Azriel or told him she wanted to be with him, then I 100% believe he would leave Elain for Mor. I don’t think he’s completely over Mor, but I do think he’s slowly starting to move on from her and has accepted that it’s never going to happen, and Elain is his rebound just like he is Elain’s rebound for Graysen. I think Az is jealous because everyone around him is getting into relationships/mates and is becoming happy. Rhys says in the third book that Az spent years waiting for a mating bond to snap between him and Mor. He wants a mate and is jealous because he doesn’t have one.
Lovely Anon, agreed 10000%. Thank you for the message. Great points were made.
I think Azriel just latches on to something he considers a pure and perfect embodiment of femininity. Maybe I am reading into it too much, but I don't really think it was love he felt for Mor. I think it was a combination of lust and platonic love. I think he wants to feel some of that purity and perfection, for it to rid him of his *sins* or wrongdoings.
If a female like that loved him, it would mean that he is good. But at the same time, he feels as if his touch was taking away some of that purity he assigned to Mor or Elain. We don't need to even get into it to know it's not healthy.
Also, I've never felt like him being down bad for 500 years was romantic or a good thing. It was not reciprocated or appreciated by Mor. It seems very self-destructive. At some point you need to actively look for happiness somewhere else. And I dont see him being more down bad for Elain than for Mor. Its been just a year and he's been avoiding her. With Mor he actually spent time with her. And as you wrote, he waited because he wants a MATE. He is so laserfocused on that. He doesn't even entertain pursuing anyone without thinking about bonds. Even when he knows that Elain already has one. He still thinks about it instead of how he feels ABOUT HER as a person. Just about having sex with her, which we know... means nothing (Nesta in the beginning of acosf).
We could get some deep loving words from Azriel about Elain when he was talking with Rhys but alas...
His mate obsession just shifted from Mor to Elain. But he knows she's already taken, which makes it impossible and more painful for him, which he probably thinks he deserves. Sad.
How sad it would be to always have this 3rd person in your relationship (Lucien)? He would probably think about him way too much and let these bad thoughts brew. Comparing himself and whatnot.
I hope he finds his happiness when he least expects it, he he. 💖 And for him to learn how true love feels. With no space for these self-deprecating feelings.
(These are just some thoughts my bestie, and I shared about Azriel and his state of mind. We might be talking crap, so if you don't agree, Im open to hear you all out).
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yall ready for a gender journey post..
so yall could probably guess i grew up a cis girl. i didnt start questioning my gender until high school after i broke up with my first boyfriend which kind of freed me up to explore my identity as my own person for the first time. around age like 16 was when i first started identifying as trans, and at the time that meant a binary trans guy
after a couple years of getting comfortable exploring my gender i decided hey maybe im actually not a binary trans guy but instead nonbinary. still transmasc and guy leaning but not quite all the way anymore. this became a trend for the next loooong while, getting closer to the androgynous part of the spectrum as time went on
then in recent years (maybe about 5 years ago ish) i started to lean more towards femininity. this is significant for me because growing up i was always opposed to it--i hated wearing dresses, i hated putting on makeup, anything "girly" appalled me and i didnt know why. i ended up thinking its because i WASNT a girl, and thats why i was so uncomfortable with everything to do with being a girl. i rejected it so hard because it just wasnt me.
after living with eden for a while i got even more comfortable exploring the feminine part of myself. i started wearing dresses and skirts and actually ENJOYED it; i started painting my nails and wearing earrings again; i even grew my hair out to my shoulderblades (yeah thats where its at now LOL). ive even started using she/her alongside they/them. and im actually enjoying these things??? it feels like after all these years im finally able to reclaim them because i feel like im finally able to be comfortable with my gender--how my gender feels to ME, not to everyone else.
that was the problem when i was growing up--i was trapped in everyone else's perception of my gender and what it "should" be. i was trapped into a box that was made by everyone else's idea of what i SHOULD look like, what i SHOULD wear, what i SHOULD act like, etc. and it took me until age 26 to fully realize that my gender is what i want it to be, not what everyone else wants.
i dont have to be a guy to want facial hair and a flat chest and a low voice. loving pink and dresses and cute things and makeup and jewelry doesnt inherently mean im a girl. pronouns, features, clothes, even names dont inherently mean youre one gender or another. your gender is defined by you and only you and nobody should be able to put you into a box and define your gender for you.
..having said all this, im starting to explore my gender further, and im slowly coming to the POSSIBLE conclusion that i might come back around to being cis (albeit gnc). nothing would really change about me except the label tbh. if i do end up coming to that conclusion i will be very bummed about leaving the trans community, but i wont feel any less attached to it, as ive spent literally half my life as part of it. i understand what its like to be trans and to love myself as my most authentic self, and thats why im considering this possiblity!
identifying as a lesbian kind of pushed me in this direction as well--i cant remember the last time i felt truly comfortable and happy with a label regarding my orientation.. like ya damn. maybe i am a girl who likes girls LOL. it just feels right and natural for me personally??? its crazy. i love women. if youre a woman i love you no matter the flavor. i love my wife more than all of you though sorry <3
but god please dont take this as me being like "oh trans people just need to get comfortable with their gender and theyll realize theyre cis" that is a bullshit take and i am not saying that. this is strictly my own experience and journey! i am 100% not speaking for every trans person and you shouldnt either.
but ya. dan cis era???? we'll see. no official statement just yet but i just wanted to let yall know where im at in my ~gender journey~. until i confirm anything please still view me as a nonbinary girlthing! <3
#i have to reiterate i am KEEPING the name dan saiyan. and my facial hair and deep voice#like i said. these things do not mean anything irt my gender. they are just part of me#if i say im a cis woman and i have facial hair and the name dan then thats what cis looks like for me <3#i honestly feel free as hell. im defining my gender for myself now and its the most powerful feeling in the world
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I think I might be a trans boy or nonbinary / trans guy but I feel so guilty over it
I’m an only child, and I always heard growing up that she was happy to have a daughter of her own after the mysogyny and abuse she experienced earlier in life. I was in Girl Scouts, had exactly one girl cousin ✨just my age✨, had “girl’s days” with her, all that stuff. I was kinda indirectly taught that boys were just inherently gross and terrible and had no personality and that I was special which I know is wrong but still an endless knot to de-internalize
Like I guess she could find someone else like my cousin to bond with but that would just confirm that I failed
For my dad, I’m concerned he will be confused by my gender expression
and as a Very Socially Inept Something the thought of changing my routine and how I act in public feels overwhelming
I hear all manner of horror stories from the few trans kids at school that haven’t left the state about what their family is like
And my extended family is very very conservative so there’s no way it would’nt cause a mess anyway
And life is so expensive and bleak now I can’t see myself anywhere in the future as it is let alone with five other expensive things that would feel comfortable on one paycheck assuming it’s not 100% illegal or burnt/flooded to nothing in the next year
Sorry for the long depressing anon I just can’t erase these thoughts completely and I need help
🍁
you dont need to apologise, and, that sounds like a really hard situation to be in, but its not over yet, i know that things are getting worse but theres still hope, your family might not be accepting, but they might not be forever. Don't feel guilty for being who you are, and not who they want you to be.
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So, I'm not in the Good Omens fandom, but having seen the "controversy" over a potential sex scene (or even confirmation of a sexual relationship) and it's striking me that the "asexuals vs. other queer identities" thing used by fandom puritains is LITERALLY the classic "divide and conquer" tactic used to prevent effective unity among minorities since time immemorial. By making the different letters of the rainbow alphabet fight each other, they can never unite enough to get ANY rep, and the fandom puritains are basically doing exactly what status-quo loving studios want.
Yeah this 100%.
I may have calmed down on the salty rage after getting a good nights sleep, but if there is one thing I really can't stand its the incessant infiltration of queer spaces by puritans.
I wish more people could see that the rhetoric they are parroting around the echo chamber is just anti sex puritanical conservative bullshit and not the "call for ace representation" that they think it is.
It is very much an attempt to divide the community and turn sex positive queer folk and asexual people against each other (when actually they are the same people).
Asexuality is simply a lack of sexual attraction, it is not a complete disgust and repulsion of all things sexual to the point that you must ban the entire internet for daring to think of the word sex!
Whats so funny about this is that I am totally on board with the ace Aziracrow headcanon, but these people are claiming META ANALYSIS that might indicate any hint towards sexual desire or an interest in sex between them is somehow gross and aphobic.
I dont even think Aziracrow will be having sex in s3. Its unlikely. But if they do drop a few jokes and hints about the possibility, the last thing we need is a fandom full of puritans blowing up acting like its the end of the world because two male presenting beings might have possibly fucked.
Once you peel back the layers it does end up just looking like your run of the mill conservative christian homophobia. Fandoms must become more skilled at recognising the signs of puritanical infiltration and must start fighting back and thinking for themselves rather than following the crowd because it seems like they are "supporting ace people".
Honestly I'm tired. I've been calling out this bullshit for 8 years in fandom. It only seems to have got worse.
#good omens#purity culture#anti sex negativity#sex positivity#asexuality#queer infighting#anti purity culture#puriteens#fandom discourse#asks
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anyway on a completely unrelated note (not) wrt prev post and while im on that ajax fanon hater rant energy still.
(Seriously youve been warned. im getting heated)
Just. Im sorry Where the FUCK did the idea that childes constellation has ever "changed" as in. confirmed canon 100% happened. thing. and not just as like. A Normal speculation theory thing whatever like thats not the problem (as much as i dont care for it). but as this Wildly popular widely accepted headcanon for essentially the larger "abyss and trauma whale corrupted and brainwashed my kitten baby pookiemeow and stole his true good celestia approved fate from him at 14" crew whose only "canon" source to my knowledge is basically entirely based on a misreading* of one of his boss drops. fucking come from and why is 4 out of 5 ""theories"" i see about ajax acting like its literally the gospel now and actually hes being torn apart in an inner struggle of trauma and identity between GOOD fate and GOOD destiny when his vision works and BAD fate and BAD destiny when it doesnt because defying celestia and the gods is evil and this does not clash with the themes of gnosticism at all and breaking the shackles of demiurges false divinity and their unjust hold upon humanity is actually just a red herring trust me bro youre not Actually supposed to awaken true divinity within humanity to finally attain freedom for mankind i super pinkie promise uwu
like im just. What. Yes this shit pisses me off but its also just genuinely perplexing and i have. Absolutely no fucking clue HOW its become this widespread. is there a massive fanon ajax fanfic where the constellation changes???? Some fanart comic with 136k likes and 32k retweets on Twitter? where did this COME FROM i dont understand 💀💀💀
*to be very clear. his DEEDS twisting his fate is the concept brought up in the shadow of a warrior item lore. his DEEDS brought on by a will to fight thats been honed over Countless Slaughters. Mind You. literally WHAT deeds and slaughters do you suggest he had accrued at age 14 at the INSTANT he fell into the abyss to his narwhal do you suggest there being???? To be doing some og good fate twisting??? To be ""changing"" his constellation right that instant??? does the abyss or surtalogi or skirk or his narwhal canonically mug ajax' mythical True And Correct constellation at gunpoint 12 seconds into his 5 kilometer fall into the abyss and swap it out for monoceros caeli and dawei told yall this personally???? or can we let this shit rest and agree that the lore of this drop is explicitly About the path hes taken POST ABYSS as a warrior leading him to twist/defy celestias intended destiny for him?????? Leading to him becoming the eye of the storm?? That its a development??? that it began in the abyss right but that isnt some one-off event either????
#sustainers payroll must be handing out mora at a RIDICULOUS rate for all this celestia shilling its incredible#anyway yeah uhhhhhh ill try not to make a habit of this#& like to be clear. idgaf if you Speculate his constellations changed or whatever. if you explore the possibility .#if uou think its interesting and neat i dont have an issue as much as i disagree.#its the way a MASSIVE swath. of childes 'fans' treat this constellation thing as Literal Facts#and start passive aggressive tirades about how it is factually imcorrect for people to have any other take#when its THEIR theories that are completely founded on the assumptkon that a literal headcanon is canon fact#like thats my problem. they dont say 'my theory is childes constellation changed in the abyss'#they literally just go into whatever theory or argument theyre making smd then in like the 5th paragraph#'because his constellation changed this means XYZ is also true' like WHAT#ughhhhhhhhhhhh#delete later
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steren au idea: the grandmasters of specific houses are typically given ceremonial marks and tattoos. for redoran it is pretty straight forward: ceremonial scarification on either the chest or face. but hlaalu is typically a little more secretive. they have tattoos given to grandmasters in code to denote which grandmaster they are and a few bits of what they had to do to earn it. its usually small and on a normally concealed part of the body
vendil (or i guess mirri can tbh) goes sneaking into the bath house, laying in hiding. he's there for hours and is pissed off sen dres sent him to do this shit, only to see sure enough steren and vivienne are there to bathe. he can confirm their identities with the star on steren's forehead and vivenne having multiple skintones, so it wasn't a total bust.
until he sees steren move his hair aside and he has the mark of the grandmaster of house hlaalu. all of the code is up to standard and was clearly done by a high ranking member within house hlaalu, with code denoting he must have been grandmaster during the third era shortly before the oblivion crisis. but that doesn't make any sense since he only looks around 100 years old, which for dunmer is fairly young--technically possible to become a grandmaster if you're skilled and crafty, but not possible given that time frame was over 200 years ago
but no one else knows house hlaalu code like that. you have to be a high ranking member to even understand it, let alone have someone tattoo it on you. was steren the son of a previous hlaalu grandmaster and had the tattoo done to honor his father? it was possible, but then it might be more beneficial to have steren on their side than let sen dres kill him as planned. after all, his father died trying to 'restore' house hlaalu's 'honor' (power), and here is someone with the mark of a grandmaster
this would certainly be a wrench in sen's plans i dont think he accounted for. he'd never seen the mark in detail, he thought it was just a random tattoo (he'd only rly seen it once at the brothel. he didnt like steren bc he heard rumors he and vivienne were actually close, regardless of how combative they would act toward each other in his presence)
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About recent takes of Félix’ father vs Gabriel, Félix’ guilt in “Emotion” & How the amok- child abuse of Adrien works (part 0.1 lol)
Just to make this clear right from the get-go (although is sad that such disclaimers need to be made again): No, this is not written as a Félix Defense Post, this is me writing out my analysis’ and other thoughts regarding way too much out-of-context stuff from “Emotion” and the one big confirmation of Félix’ indeed BEING an abuse victim from leaks which I will only incorrperate as vague concept since tbh I dont remember details and I’m not seeking it out for this.
Aright? Let’s go!
Where is all this stuff about Félix’ father coming from? Are those from even more leaks? From what I have seen in leaks of Félix saying something about the parenting he received I too got my confirmation that Félix’ father was abusive, but where is this coming from that Colt Fathom was alot WORSE than Gabriel?
In my opinion, that directly contradicts Félix’ attitude in “Emotion”. Who knows what exactly happened before that episode, though at the very least Félix most likely knows now that Adrien is Chat Noir and thats what made such a massive difference in him:
Also there was this out-of-nowhere second carmoflaged Black Cat-like ring Félix used as amok object that looked exactly like Adrien’s, although we see later that Adrien is still wearing his? That element of the episode was ridiculously out of context, but Félix’ knowing now that Adrien is Chat Noir makes its existence and the episode overall make alot more sense in my opinion.
Its basically the only way I can properly explain anything Félix-related that happened in “Emotion”, down to his behavior when he mentioned Chat Noir towards Ladybug:
Or the way Argos straight up refused to try and take Ladybug’s Miraculous away from her by his own force. He only asked/ threatened her to surrender her earrings to him but he never went further than that. In fact, her calmly stating that she would never give him her Miraculous was what set Félix over the edge in frustration, because he knew thats IT now. Taking it from her forcefully would mean she would speak up against him when he brings Adrien back (to get the Black Cat miraculous and because Félix WANTS him by his side on good terms), but he cant snap the girl behind the mask away either or else Adrien would see him as nothing but a villain if Félix only has her earrings but SHE is gone.
If Ladybug doesnt surrender her Miraculous and remains there to ensure with her words that Adrien too should give Félix his miraculous, where at that point Félix has the chance of explaining his plan to his cousin that noone is gone for real and he just wants to create a better world for them- which in Félix’ mind lead to a scenario in which he’s not the bad guy. Look, the boy knows he, Adrien and Kagami belong to a race of enslaved magical beings and are at the mercy of tyrannical abusers (Dude, what a sentence!). I’m not expecting rationality from Félix Fathom at this point. He was still 100% the bad guy in this, but I get it.
Also Fuck u Gloob, how dare YOU leave me without actual context for this shit?? xD)
But even without that... explanation-theory of mine, in episode 18 all I can see is Félix acting on SO MUCH god damn guilt towards Adrien and trying to free him from Gabriel. He literally states he tried to succeed in this episode for ADRIEN:
Then regarding Colt Fathom’s parenting again: when Félix confronts Gabriel about how Gabriel uses them, his family, he does not treat his uncle as a lesser monster than the one Félix (may have? Idk?) known as a father:
Félix went to the upmost extreme methods to get rid of Gabriel in this episode. He sees his uncle as nothing short of a tyrannical monster that needs to get taken out with a literal SNAP so Gabriel has no opportunity to stop him and be remade with a reality changing wish.
But most importantly, when Félix called Gabriel out he named ADRIEN first:
This was NOT Félix only doing it for himself and those are also not the actions and words of a person who views Gabriel as LESS of a dangerous tyrant bc of his own father. No matter how bad Colt Fathom was, Félix is not underestimating his uncle as the madman that he is. At least not ANYMORE!
Not in a single second of “Emotion” do I get the impression that Félix has NOT finally understood in what horrible position Adrien is caught in in Gabriel’s grasp (more on this regard for the Diamond Ball in an upcoming post I’ll link HERE). Which, yes, Félix too partly caused through the s4 finale. This is most likely why he goes to such insane lenghts to try to save Adrien.
Félix feels fucking GUILTY now in hindsight for having sold the one amok ring of his cousin he already had safe and sound in his possession back to Gabriel, along with 15 more miraculous’ to make him even MORE dangerous:
Which btw, GOOD!!! He should!
Anyway. While I dont understand where these takes about how much worse Colt Fathom was to Félix than Gabriel to Adrien come from, that claim does seems to be very accurate though to Félix’ point of view of Adrien’s abuse BEFORE season 5. Hence why he was being so god damn awful to his cousin and SOLD HIM TO HIS ABUSER!
The way I see it right now, Colt Fathom was abusive on Gabriel Agreste’s level but he did it in ways more open and “obvious”.
Gabriel is an extremely abusive father, but the worst thing about him has always been that he abuses Adrien in a way for which people cannot easily get him for it. Sure, there has always been ALOT to worry about under the circumstances after Emilie “died” but Gabriel Agreste has always made sure whatever he does to his son he remains untouchable enough from a normal legal perspective.
I’m not sure if child protection services could ever have actually helped Adrien even if they tried, because while Gabriel has been stretching all lines of possible slack problematic parents are being given - because the child cant nor SHOULD immediately be taken away from their parent if not truly necessary - Gabriel has never made.. that ONE slip-up too much and too out-of-line that could set Adrien free from him.
And in my opinion, thats what the show is going for because thats what Félix realized at some point prior to episode 18 about Gabriel’s treatment of Adrien and Adrien’s own behavior towards his father, for which Félix gave him massive shit for just last season:
Félix made a full-blown 180 regarding Adrien, thats the only way I can explain it.
Its GUILT. Guilt and the desperate attempt to save his cousin from the horrible consequences Félix had a HUGE part in unleashing and to be able to somehow manage to somewhat save the strong and basically brother-like bond he and Adrien once had as cousins.
And I dont care what anyone says, its by far the one bond Adrien has with anyone besides Plagg in which he’s literally 100% his authentic self and not any degree of Adrien Agreste™ or Chat Noir™. Seriously, if you wanna see Adrien behaving like nothing but a normal boy, watch him interact with his cousin who’s basically his BROTHER.
And it doesnt even matter how much of a damn dick Félix became, in any interaction these two had in the show you could easily SEE how close these two were/are from Adrien’s behavior. Which btw, makes Félix actions before s5 alot worse, but thats the point. This is WHY he goes as far as he does in “Emotion”. Because they once HAD such an incredibly close bond as Adrien’s “naively trusting” behavior towards him always claimed.
The bond which FÉLIX comitted to burn into the ground in s3-s4:
Guilt I can only explain in the same only way I can possibly explain Félix throwing Adrien under the bus as awfully as he did til s5, and in particular the s4 finale:
I can only explain it if Félix all his life had received the other - but in this case pretty much equal - side of the spectrum of abusive parenthood and Adrien’s abuse simply looked so different and way more ”subtle” and “acceptable by society’s standarts” from what Félix’ knew as highly abusive (when he finally gained freedom through getting his ring, probably at his father’s funeral hence why Adrien wasnt allowed to be there. It’s where Félix has told he’s a Sentihuman) that he didnt recognize it as such and therefore ended up hardcore victim-blaming his cousin because he has it “so much better” under Gabriel’s fist but “still cant take initiative like Félix does”.
Félix at the end of “Strike Back” in my opinion truly thought that even though his uncle is a delusional, tyrannical man, Adrien would be the ONLY person safe ENOUGH with him and from him (I know this sounds like a hypocritical cop-out, but Félix is literally in the ONE family position as Adrien’s close and only cousin, who’s also the only other child in their families but always also lived far away enough to not be around to wittness most of Adrien’s and Gabriel’s father-son dynamic behind closed doors [especially in the last, and most crucial year], that I simply have to say that.. this is so god. damn. realistic. This is a way too realistic variation of how the once close children in abusive families end up as bitter rivals throwing each other under the bus within their own absive family system.)
Félix thought that Adrien is as per usual the ONE exception for Gabriel in EVERYTHING, so giving Papa Agreste the control object and 15 more miraculous’ he can fry his brain away with simply... wouldnt have meant endangering Adrien’s entire life in Félix’ eyes.
Which WE know is the WRONG damn reading of the situation!
But for Félix Adrien was his uncle’s one weakness “out of fatherly love” Félix most likely never knew himself, because Gabriel put/s ALOT of effort into keeping his son in the dark (”overprotectiveness”) which lead Félix to even blantantly using Adrien against GABRIEL bc he knew that threatening to tell Adrien would be the most effective way to make his uncle instantly stop denying that he’s Shadowmoth:
(Also, notice how in the upper picture when Gabriel is denying that he’s Shadowmoth, Flairmidable is shot from the ONE - the ONE - possible angle from where his character model looks similar to Chat Noir.
With whatever tons of context we are apparently missing from prior to “Emotion” regarding this entire Agreste, Graham de Vanily/ Fathom and Tsurugi mess, this visual forshadowing in “Strike Back” is in SOME WAY apparently about to become relevant now. Most likely through Nathalie but eyyyyyy, its not like we have any kind of DAMN context! <3 :D)
I already long assumed Félix’ awful but NEW behavior towards Adrien since his father’s funeral to be the result of Félix despising Adrien bc Gabriel burdened his nephew with the knowledge of being Sentihuman in the worst way and at the worst time possible while “overprotecting” Adrien. But now with “Emotion” it seemed I read it mostly right.
The way I see it, Félix did the one thing unnervingly not even uncommon in abusive families: He couldnt recognize his cousin’s extreme abuse because he was too blinded by his own that looked different, while simultaneously comparing Gabriel’s life-long treatment of him and Adrien.
And since Gabriel has probably always treated him unfairly and “worse” than Adrien in Félix’ eyes (which was probably primarily more arrogant indifference from Gabriel’s side while treating Adrien as a golden boy) Félix then most likely thought that HE was the one truly in danger of Gabriel because he isnt Adrien, when Gabriel in actuality probably wouldnt have paid his nephew alot of mind at all and would have had included him automatically in the new reality for Adrien’s sake if - ironically - Félix’ hadnt involved himself and made himself a thorn in Gabriel’s side by now out of (UNDERSTANDABLE) fear and paranoia.
So yeah, still: Fuck Gabriel.
But back to Félix’ possible abuse from his father and how that blinded him to Adrien’s:
(No, I’m not forgetting Amelie and EMILIE, this is just getting WAY too much for this one post. The three mother figures of this family (Emilie, Amelie and Nathalie) are the crucial puzzle pieces in the Agreste’s & Graham de Vanily’s narrative. I’m gonna tackle that in posts dedicated to them specifically)
If Félix for example was more physically abused with open disdain from Colt Fathom than emotionally manipulated, used and gaslit out of “love”, then he would have a hard time at first (especially if he’s UNWILLING to see it) to understand or even just recognize to certain degree all the red flags of that what Gabriel is doing to Adrien resultes/d in emotional scars so bad that Adrien was/is pretty much suicidal at times and spend most of the show stuck in his mental and emotional escapism as Chat Noir (Still, I’m also pretty sure Félix SHOULD have been the ONE person who SHOULD have recognized the resemblance between Adrien Agreste and Chat Noir, the same way Félix was able to recognize Gabriel as Shadowmoth. But ironically, for that he was too blinded by his victim-blaming of Shadowmoths SON)
And if Félix only has ONE amok object and that means whoever wore it (his father) has 100% control over him, then he could (have) significantly underestimate(d) how BAD the emotional toll on Adrien would have been all his life when he always had TWO objects and that - I must assume - resulted in two 50/50 control holds over him:
(Disclaimer at this point: The show is very consistently exploring 3 unique ways for Adrien, Félix and Kagami in how the same peacock amok control resulted in very individual abuse situations for each of them. The amok abuse is not inconsistend or poorly explained, it was never meant to be a 1 for 3 explaination the same way you cant generalize ONE case of parental abuse for ALL existing abused kids. The show is treating this as legit child abuse the way it should. And yes, I will elaborate on all of that in ALOT more detail in future.)
Meaning only Adrien’s action and emotional compliance can be controlled but not his emotions themselves, which I see no reason to not be the default for Sentihuman who only have one object. Meaning for example, that if Colt Fathom didnt wanted Félix to care about any kind of bond with another person his age but his cousin, then Félix simply would have never felt the desire to have friends and therefore also never learnt how to handle the emotional pain of not getting to have them as Adrien was “allowed to”. Adrien didnt get to have friends either, but I suppose unless you wear BOTH his rings no order about forbidding him to have friends would have stopped him from still feeling the longing to have them anyway.
So Adrien’s sounds “better enough” on surface level - which is all Félix would have seen - but its actually massively fucked up bc the clash between Adrien’s natural emotions and the actions his body and mind are forced to obey would quickly beat a young childs mind into misery and helpless fawning on their own expense just to mentally survive that constant invasion of their mind by TWO sources they cant explain to themselves.
Adrien may have been “allowed” to still have emotions but his living conditions would have quickly turned that into emotional agony because Adrien would still be forced to burry everything deep inside that clashes with his parents orders, or whenever he thinks that his behavior or voiced desires would lead to him being shut down again. Its a malicious circle that pretty much accurately represents the normal cycle of emotional oppression within “regular” emotional child abuse.
Not that being 100% controlled physically and emotionally bc of having just ONE amok is in any way “better” (Holy shit, nah!, and I’ll get to Félix’ and Kagami’s abuse in their own posts), but I cant imagine having TWO the way Adrien does as anything short of mental and emotional oppression & exhaution at best - since Adrien ever since infanthood would always have to FEEL the pain of his orders directly going against something that would make him happy/ one of his basic needs and yet he has to submit to it anyway - or basically torment at worst.
Cause can you imagine if Gabriel’s and Nathalie’s contradicting orders in “Protection” would CLASH in the same moment?? GOSH!!!
This pretty much emotionally ripped Adrien back and forth between the two wearers of his amok rings the ENTIRE TIME ever since BIRTH, which would perfectly explain why Adrien is so emotionally repressed, resilient to impossible levels and instandly tends/tended to remain in denial and fawn or submit as copying mechanism. That would have been the only way he could have mentally survived TWO PEOPLE controlling him at once against his own emotions ever since he was a BABY.
I’d say its a reality check on THIS caliber that made Félix pull a 180 regarding his attitude towards Adrien - again, most likely through Nathalie (who I think would be the most logical person for Adrien now to choose to tell his secret Identity to if he needs help in managing to keep his secret save from his father) and SHE would get Félix involved because he’s aware of Gabriel, has the peacock miraculous and KNOWS what pain Sentihumans go through. But honestly, anything in this direction is guessing into pitch darkness lol.
I have so, SO much more to say on how the control of Sentihumans works but especially Adrien’s unique case of him having TWO objects. I’ve been analysing the Agreste houshold in this regard since around the beginning of s4, but that definitely deserves its own massive post(s) the same way Kagami’s abuse via amok ring (which she got to wear ever since AFTER her debut episode “Riposte”) deserves it own post seperated from Félix’ and this one here.
This is getting SO interesting, I’m LIVING for this scale of fucked up story telling! I just wished we would get it in the right chronological order so I can look at it with all the NEEDED context, Gloob, come ON!
#ml#miraculous#miraculous ladybug#Ml emotion spoilers#ml emotion#Ml Emotion disclaimer#ml Felix#felix fathom#ml protection#adrien agreste#gabriel agreste#Kagami Tsurugi#Colt Fathom#ml child abuse#ml theory#ml analysis#keeping up with the agrestes#ml Sentichildren#Adrien Felix and Kagami are Sentihumans#get over it please#ml season 5#ml spoilers#ml Argos
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I'm an anime only but i'm curious how is ferris relationship with gender?
im going to answer kinda quickly (and w/o spoilers) bc im abt to have dinner but the basic gist of it is:
crusch and ferris swapped gender presentations as part of a pact, something that goes back to their respective backstories. (might be harder to tell that crusch is intended to lean more masc, but its in like that knightly bishounen kinda way so it can come off more androgynous than anything). ferris takes the deal a lot more seriously than crusch does (partly bc of devotion, partly because of love) and even still "plays the part" when the pact no longer requires it after crusch got her memories eaten (and was acting more girlish). ferris wakes up every morning repeating the mantra of being a "cute girl" as an affirmation- saying that "this has been the mantra for a long time" believing whole-heatedly that there's magic in this sort of believing, and thats why they just somehow havent developed secondary sex characteristics (and they thank their ancestors for the lack of beard hair- i think it must be somekinda undiscovered divine protection of hrt). though they have a bit of a complex about the idea of this girlhood being "borrowed" because of the swap, and sort of have a higher sense of pressure to confirm as strictly to femininity because of this- because its for crusch. but dont necessarily mistake this for ferris disliking the pact itself, the pressure is something more internal. crusch never held herself to the same degree of devotion to it, wearing casual dresses while inside the house and such, while ferris has committed every fiber of their being to it. this has been the mantra for a long time. and there are genuine insecurities to be found within this- at a certain point a villain representing lust accuses ferris of dressing this way to "lead on" men, something that we as the audience know isnt true (ferris still loves crusch), but never the less messes with their head and in a way i think its meant to be a commentary on the general preconceptions audiences have when it comes to characters like ferris- rezero is a deconstruction series after all so stuff like that is to be expected.
all that being said do i think ferris is the most well done amazing rep in the whole universe? not really. i mean im not transfem so im not the authority on this topic, but im echoing stuff ive generally seen discussed- i think ferris is kind of an example of a character that suffers a bit from the creator not reeeaaallly knowing how trans people work or not realizing hes effectively written a trans person because of this. i defaulted to they/them to ferris here because it is kinda complicated and can be taken a few different ways. how much of it is for crusch vs how much is for ferris? how much of an identity does ferris have outside of crusch? outside of being crusch's "girl side" etc. this theme is something we see with ALL the knights! they all have a blinding and often self-destructive devotion to their liege. and a lot of these are heavily reliant on gender roles in a lot of ways (subaru projects his masc powerfantasy onto emilia, julius has to constantly be the Perfect Knight for anastasia, reinhard can only ever be a Hero and stakes his family's redemption on felt becoming king, al lets priscilla just behead him 100 times bc hes a freak.) in the case of crusch and ferris the entire concept is that these roles have been somewhat swapped, but the devotion stayed the same so. theres a lot there. a lot thats a lot more complicated than just like.... "boy dresses like a girl bc its my fetish" eugh
#and btw none of this is to also say that you cant just be a guy who wears dresses bc you like it either#ive heard ppl argue that and its like. theres more there in this case#look on paper i would very much like to be masc but in reality i dont have the body type and i like to dress feminine so ill also never loo#like the part. and i think ive made peace with that for now. for now. but what im saying is its not the dress or appearance itself ever#i think there are plenty of anime boys that wear dresses and are in fact still boys. such as yuki a3 or kuranosuke princess jellyfish#love those guys#i also think there are often characters that have more nuance often bc of meta reasons and ferris is one of them. imo
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Part 1 listed in the link above!
Part 2:
Sighing as Tony hung up the phone in his office. Widow just confirmed that Winter and her were almost here to hand over the information he requested. Though they wanted to question Peter first. Which irritated Tony, but if it will help solve the mystery of who knocked up Peter, he would allow it. Anything to help protect his family.
It's been a few hours since Stephen showed up, the equipment delivered, ultrasound down, images printed. 100% confirmed that his little bambino was pregnant. Atleast Peter was almost done with getting his doctorate and this won't hinder his career. As if Stephen would allow that. If he could start going into labor while operating its sure as he'll that Peter could keep up with his lab work. [As long as extra safety precautions were made cause of the pregnancy]
Walking up the stairs to Peter's old bedroom, he thinks of how this is so similar to how he found out he was going to be a father the first time. At a charity event for the local hospital all those years ago. Ego met ego when he met Stephen. He never met an omega that was so Alpha like. They carried on their tic for tac into a heated night that lasted til morning. It was 4 months later when Stephen showed up at the restaurant where he hosts meetings at times for reality of that night comes rushing back. Tony had already had the business set up for Harley to take over. While he still acts young, Tony knows at some point he would be too old to keep going. He never thought he would have a family of his own. He rushed to make sure that even if Stephen didn't want to raise the baby, he would take care of anything. Moved him in and doing his best to woo the Omega. It was a year after Peter was born that they officially became a bonded pair.
They set it up where Peter's address and "guardianship" would be under his god mothers ' Aunt May' to help alleviate attention that he was Tony Starks omega son. He went to the best private school in Queens, distancing him for the Manhattan area as best as he could. Safety was the biggest priority that Stephen stressed for his pups. Yes, pups. Surprise, surprise, when Peter was 16, Stephen ended up pregnant, again shocking the family. Miss Morgan Strange was born. Peter absolutely dotted on his alpha little sister.
Sighing one more time before opening the door to the bedroom, Tony paused before smiling. At the center of the bed was Peter snuggling up to Stephen on the bed. Stephen gently combing his fingers through his hair. They were whispering to each other, " and if they are fools and don't want anything to do with them. We will always take care of you and the pups. Family is important." Stephen stopped talking, looking over at Tony in the doorway. Tony cleared his throat. " Pete... I'm sorry for... reacting how I did. I was just worried... Widow and Winter are headed over with information for us. They want to talk to you first if you won't mind meeting them down in the study. "
Peter's eyes widen, he has met Natasha, and she was practically an older sister/aunt to him. He has only heard of rumors about Winter.
Stephen and Peter untangle from each other before getting out of bed to head downstairs following behind Tony. Once downstairs, Peter goes into the study while Stephen stays out in the hallway with Tony. Not long after, Natasha shows up with Winter, aka James 'Bucky' Barnes, and shockingly Steve Rogers. Tony frowning. " Winter, I know you know that I tolerate your... choice in mate. But we really dont need goody twoshoes getting involved in this... private matter. " Steve frowns before opening his mouth, but Bucky beats him in addressing Tony." Don't worry, Stark, Steve here has recon in the area... once we confirm a few details, things will get sorted. In the study, Natalia said?" Bucky nods toward the door of the study.
Tony says and waves his hand. " Yeah, yeah. Go easy on him. No unnecessary stress. Nat introduce?" Natasha nods and goes to the study, opening the door and smiles " Oh my little spider, I have some friends here that need to talk with you" she waves Bucky and Steve over and the men enter the room but Natasha does not enter and closes the door. Tony frowns and stares at her. " Why you let Winter bring his Alpha with him? Do you want to stress Peter out more? Also lack luster introductions- he has never met Winter. Only heard of him and not even a warning? And why are you looking at me like that, Stephen?"
Eyebrow raised as Stephen stared at Tony, eyes flickering toward the door and then back at Tony. Blinking Tony looks at the door and then back at Stephen. Stephen tilts his head and looks at the door before back at Tony again. Frowning, he looks at Natasha, who's blocking the door. Then it clicks. Two Alphas. Natasha could have just brought him the names. There's no need to bring Winter over here.
He started to stutter in disbelief before the anger rolled back in. He growled loud and rushed the door. Thankfully, Natasha moved to side, but she had a unbuckled the gun from her holster. " Don't do anything stupid Tony. You have to think of Peter." Blinded be rage at the audacity that these two Alphas picked HIS child to fuck with? Tony rips the door open and off its hinge. " The fuck is the meaning of this!?" But Tony deflates at the scene infront of him.
Inside of the study on the couch was Steve with Peter on his lap, looking at the sonogram photo, a dopey smile on his lips, arm wrapped around him. Bucky was kneeling on the ground in front of the pair, nuzzling up again Peter's stomach, gentle rumbles coming from him with his arms wrapped around them.
Well shit.
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So.... it's been a month since I typed up Part 1 and it's not where I want it to be. But kept thinking about it and just had to get it out.
Hopefully you like it @professional-benaddict and @no-name-for-me since yall said ya wouldn't mind a part 2!
#writing prompt#winterspidershield#stucky plus peter#omega peter parker#alpha steve rogers#alpha bucky#mob tony stark#mob au#winterspiderpurrs#winterspider#spidershield#peter parker x bucky barnes#shieldspider
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