#but don't feel pressured to do it at your own peril
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It's because some people's cries for attention are actively harmfull to others, or looking to overthrow boundaries set by other people by emotionally manipulating either them or the people around them.
As a therapist this is correct. Someone whose behavior is a cry for attention still needs help. You have the time, resources and most importantly, established safety net in place to give it. Please do.
As a person in the world, you often don't have those resources. You didn't cut off that person for fun. A couple of examples:
The guy who tried to set our apartment on fire after my roommate (his ex) got together with someone else
The guy who'd sexually assaulted me after I broke up with him kept stalking me and eventually tried convincing the people around us that I was the bully for refusing to talk it out with him
The guy who threatened to kill himself at least 10 times over (that we know of)and actually faked his suicide because we didn't want to engage with him after he first threatened and then physically assaulted us
The girl who kept sending pictures of her slid wrist to her ex boyfriend and our friends group after they broke up
The person who kept leaving vague messages about how some person in the discord server made them feel extremely unwelcome and had really hurt them and kept hinting it was me, because I asked them to stop referring to my identity as a slur and when they flat out refused didn't apologise and say I was wrong.
All of them were absolutely crying out for help and all of them were absolutely severely mentally ill and lonely and needed attention. These are some extreme examples to make a point, but often it's much less obvious and much less clear cut why someone chose to retract that attention in the first place.
The truth is, in many of these examples I felt uncomfortable with them and started withdrawing my attention before the behaviour escalated. I couldn't have told you exactly why in many of the cases. Looking back, there were always warning signs. Early transgressions of my boundaries because they felt their needs superceded mine.
Tldr: Asking for attention doesn't mean someone doesn't need help, this is true. However, many, many people 'just asking for attention' do so by transgressing on other people's boundaries. You never ever owe someone your attention or help unless they pay you for it and you can give it safely. Don't feel pressured to engage when engaging means putting your own mental health and safety on the line.
Also trust your instincts.
You never have to give up your mental health or safety in return for theirs!
#mental heath#asking for attention#safety first#and i mean that in the broadest sense possible#you don't owe anyone your attention#it is yours to give and withdraw whenever you want#is it kind to help someone?#absolutely#but don't feel pressured to do it at your own peril
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CHAPTER TWELVE
Welcome to Jurassic Park I mean, the Clamouring Cretaceous Claypits! Enjoy the scenery while it lasts and take photos of the dinos that cross your path! Be mindful of the carnivores, but don't worry! They only want to play! This is my game. My world. I will tear it apart to make it my own again.
A/N: special thanks to @paper-fowl for the track!
WARNING: digital body horror, peril, angst
~~~
Caine slowly hovered around the dark prison cell. The glow of the gold binary illuminated him from below. Light blue chains of code held out to the unseen walls, binding the prisoner in place. "Long time no see, Abel. Nice to see you're still holding out. Would hate for abstraction to take you away from your punishment too early."
Abel didn't respond. Didn't even move. His casual work office attire hung loosely from his tired body. Long, curled black hair hung over his face as he stared at the floor. A short unkept beard obscured the lower half of his face.
Caine visually inspected each part of the cell as he made his way around. "You look just as awful as the day I threw you in here. Tell me, so you still feel hunger? Thirst? Exhaustion? Everything a human body craves?" He used the head of his cane to lift Abel's chin. Thick curtains of hair covered Abel's face, but Caine could see his eyes cracked open. Piercing blue stared weakly back at him.
Caine tilted his head in mocking curiosity. "To be so close to death, and yet it will never come. One would think you should be pitied."
Caine turned swiftly, dropping Abel's head. The coded chains rattled lightly from the movement. He left the hidden cell and looked at Abel one last time before reactivating the firewall. "Captivum aeternum." Heatless fire closed around Abel and he was hidden from sight once again, beyond the void.
Abel lifted his head slightly as the light from the void beyond the fire faded. He glared at Caine's silhouette, blue static sparking in his iris. His body went limp as the static arced from his eyes and went through the cell floor.
~
Pomni sat on the edge of her bed, staring at the mystic galaxy rose. She slowly rotated it in her hand, the light butterfly fluttering around her wrist. Tears welled in her eyes. She was so overwhelmed by everything. She didn't know what to do, who to trust, so she cried. She was so lost in her emotions, she didn't even register the knock at her door.
Ragatha peeked inside. "Hey, sorry for intruding. It's just, we're worried about you, Pomni. Is it okay if I come in?"
Pomni didn't have the energy to answer. She let her tears drip onto the rose in her hand. Ragatha sat next to Pomni and put an arm around her. "Today was a lot. Do you wanna talk about it?"
Pomni sniffed, wiping her face with her sleeve. "It's more than that. So much more."
"Is it about us pressuring you to get answers out of Caine? We're desperate, but if this is too much, I understand-"
"Things are getting complicated." Pomni sighed, trying to stop crying. "Ragatha, does the name Abel mean anything to you?"
Ragatha thought for a moment. "No, why?"
"This person? Entity? Ghost? By that name has been talking to me. He says he can fix the exit. All I have to do is keep Caine distracted, but...I don't know if I should trust him. He seems a bit...unstable."
"A ghost is telling you he can get us out?"
"I know, it sounds crazy, but he's real. He's the one that been causing the crazy glitches. He was the reason the beast went berserk on the Fairy track. He said things will get worse because he's getting close to the mainframe, whatever that means."
"Pomni, I want to leave as much as the next person, but that does sound crazy. Have you told Caine?"
"No. I don't know if I can trust him either. He controls everything. What's to stop him from lying to gain my favor. To think I might be falling for it..." Pomni dropped the rose. "And now it turns out he has a twin brother of sorts??? Some [%$!#]head biker that makes the races even harder?? Like, WHY??"
Ragatha smiled sympathetically. "Caine's gone to some pretty strange lengths to keep us entertained. He's always seemed genuinely remorseful when someone abstracted, even if he kept his distance." She picked up the rose. "He's more human than I've ever thought possible, that's for sure."
"Enough to have real feelings for..?" Pomni mumbled.
"Maybe."
"Do you think he'd really let us go if the exit was fixed?"
Ragatha hesitated. "...I don't know."
"That's what scares me." Pomni held herself and leaned on Ragatha's shoulder.
Ragatha held the rose in from of Pomni as she comfortingly squeezed her shoulder. "I dont know much, but I don't think falling in love is a bad thing. If it helps, I know for a fact that he's never done this before."
Pomni stared at the beautiful rose. The voice in her head telling her it was all a sham to make her want to stay was getting quieter, overridden by her heart starting to crave his interaction. The very thought of him made her feel butterflies. "It's like Jax said...we either succum to the madness or get broken by it. I suppose I'm choosing the former." She scoffed at herself.
Ragatha sighed, thinking of her casual relationship with Loo. Another AI. "Whatever helps you cope."
"Thank you, Ragatha."
Ragatha smiled and leaned her head on Pomni's. "Anytime."
~
The next day, everyone sat silently in the lounge while waiting for Caine. No one ate, the air was too tense. Bubble chef hovered over the table, confused as to why they had no food requests.
"I'm fine. Please, stop staring." Pomni said from behind her hands as she leaned on her knees.
"Are you sure your ready to race?" Gummigoo asked.
"As long as nothing weird happens, I'll be fine."
"I'm pretty sure weird things happen no matter what." Gangle commented.
Caine popped in. "Hello, my bouncy baby beans! I hope you're ready to have a good race, because I've revamped an old favorite for today! Some our long term racers may remember a certain Clamoring Cretaceous Claypits??"
"Oh, yeah." Kinger spoke up. "That one was fun. We saw giant insects."
"That you did!" Caine twirled his cane. "I've improved the graphics and AI of the roaming dinosaurs so it's more immersive than ever before! The objective is the same: take photos of ever dino you see! They will be judged based on species and pose, giving you bonus points to potentially move you up a place in the ranking."
"How do we take pictures if we're driving?"
"I'm glad you asked, Pomni!" Caine snapped his fingers. Strange goggles fit over everyone's face. "Just blink, and a photo is taken! Don't worry, it only activates when the race starts. Who's ready to go back in time!?"
Nobody said anything or got up.
"Oof, tough crowd today." Caine tugged his collar. "Come on, everyone! Let's get those engines warmed up!"
The racers got up and filed out of the garage. Outside was a vast grassland than led off into a clay colored crater. Looking around they saw distant thick forests and a lake. The track didn't have as many crazy loops or jumps, as the focus was on the objective of taking photos. The racers karts were lined up at the start and ready to go, the stands were full of the cheering NPCs. Bubble waited at the start with the light.
Gangle timidly approached Caine. "There won't be any scary dinosaurs, will there?"
"I can assure you, the track is completely safe. Spared no expense on keeping the asset AI on it's set directive. Some of them will be more playful that others. This is like an interactive safari, but with dinos. It'll be fun!" Caine reassured.
Gangle nodded with a smile and went to her kart.
Kinger tried to adjust his goggles on his lopsided eyes but he could only cover one at a time. "...this is fine."
Zooble also has a hard time with their goggles fitting on their asymmetrical head. "This is stupid." She grumbled.
Jax rapped his fingers impatiently against the steering wheel. "Just take photos. How boring. The least he could do is make them try to eat us or something."
Caine could feel beads of nervous sweat on his top jaw. The disaster that was yesterday's race had clearly affected everyone's energy. Today's wasn't anything too complex or crazy. He hoped it would help his racers feel more accomplished again. Before starting his race announcements, he went to Pomni.
"I wanted to apologize." Caine removed his hat, hovering at Pomni's eye level. "You worked so hard to help me with the Fairylight Forest, only for it to go off the rails. You didn't even get to finish the race properly. You had to rely on SETH to get you across the finish line. Normally, I would commend a racer for doing so well as to trigger the new challenge, but honestly, he really isn't necessary. The tracks have been acting weird anough as it is without a new player in the mix. Maybe I have too many racers. The max has always been eight, but that was a long time ago and-"
"Easy..." Pomni said calmly. "Don't worry about the whole Fairylight thing. We tried something new and it didn't work. That doesn't mean it's your fault."
"But it does. I'm supposed to keep all of this running as smoothly as possible. Anything that goes wrong falls on me as Racemaster. Which is why I integrated the newer code in with some of more active dinos. To help salvage the experience that the Fairlyight Forest was supposed to be. I promise to make it up to you, Pomni."
"There's really nothing to make up for, but if you're offering...maybe another date?" She asked tentatively. She wasn't sure why she was still going a long with this but she wasn't sure what else to do.
"Why not?" Caine chuckled. "But something that doesn't involve tracks or karts or racing at all. Something just for you and me. Would you like that?"
Pomni searched Caine's eyes. If he held another motive, he hid it well. "Yeah...I would." Pomni smiled.
"Wonderful." Caine smiled back.
"I, uh, really like that flower you gave me."
Caine swooned. "I'd give you a thousand if I thought the game engine could handle it."
Pomni looked away shyly. "Maybe you can give me another when I win this race."
Caine brightened. "That's what I'm talking about! Go out there and win this, Pomni!" He lowered his tone. "And when you do, I'll have you swimming in roses."
Pomni ran off to her kart before her fluster got the better of her.
Caine couldn't stop smiling through his announcements. "Prepare yourselves for a race 66 million years in the making! Run with the troodons! Fly with the pterosaurs! Weave between the massive legs of the long-necked sauropods! Keep an eye out for secrets and WHATEVER YOU DO: don't get caught by the carnotaurus! RACERS! START! YOUR! ENGINES!!"
The karts came to life and the countdown began.
First light
Pomni adjusted her goggles. She heard a click and a high pitch whirr as she blinked. The camera was active.
Second light
She looked around for signs of Abel. No blue static or glitches to speak of.
Third light
One last look at Caine. He was staring again. Her heart fluttered from his attention and she resigned to it. It was getting harder to deny what she felt when he looked at her that way.
GREEN!!
Pomni's head wasn't in the game and she had a rough start but managed to keep up with the rear of the pack. They started with a wide run around a lake with dinosaurs of all sizes roaming around. It was nothing short of majestic. Caine's touch ups on the dinosaurs made them look lifelike. A massive, earth shaking dinosaur with legs the size of large tree trunks slowly meandered over the track, forcing the racers to drive underneath it. Pomni blinked at every neat dino she saw, not worrying about ranking or items. This was nice.
The grasslands became wooded, shrouding the racers but not plunging them into darkness. Gummigoo was nearly knocked off his bike in surprise when a medium sized dinosaur jumped out at him and ran along with him. The dino was thin and fast on two legs, keeping up with the karts no problem. It looked at Gummigoo, seemed to think for a moment, then moved on to another racer. It ran with Zooble then made a chirping noise. Suddenly, several of these fast dinos appeared from the trees, moving with the racers like a herded unit. They swarmed Zooble, snagging an item and disappeared as fast as they came.
Pomni got several pictures, laughing at the cute track interaction and Zooble's frustration. To add insult to injury, she got the next item before Zooble could.
~
Caine laughed. "Looks like those troublesome troodons found what they wanted! Watch your items, racers! Ragatha has the lead but we'll see for how long! Pomni is moving up and so is Gummigoo! Come on, Kinger! You can keep up! You've done this track before!"
~
Jax got an item that was relatively rare after the top hats and purple shells. A clown horn. He lifted it up in the air, surrounded by other racers. "Let's get this party started!" He squeezed the horn and it created a deafening sound that crippled the others. He sped off ahead, leaving the woods to were the track was surrounded by tall grass.
Pomni thought her ears would bleed, she was right next to Jax when he set off the horn. She claimed an item, hit a boost and rocketed after Jax. Ragatha and Gummigoo right behind her.
Kinger turned hard left, leaving the main track. However, instead of being wrangled by a bunch of bubbles, he kept going. He had found a shortcut. Gangle and Zooble followed. They weaved in between trees, following Kinger over rough wooded terrain to a clearing. The side path track circled a lone brick building. A sign out front said "visitor center".
~
"And the track secret has been found!" Caine proudly announced. "Our veteran racer has found the visitor center, who's photograph is worth the most amount of bonus points! Get those snapshots! But watch out for the residents."
~
Kinger took a photo and gave Gangle and Zooble a thumbs up. Gangle waved appreciatively but then screamed as something large jumped onto the track in front of her. She swerved around the utahraptor as it snapped it's jaws at her tires. "AAAAH KINGER!! WHY DIDN'T YOU MENTION THE RAPTORS!?"
"I forgot they were over here." Kinger shrugged. He spun out as another raptor pounced his kart, digging it's massive hook claws into the hood.
Zooble took out a popper and expertly avoided an attack. "You got the photo!? GO!!" She threw the popper and it exploded right in the middle of the small group of dinos. They screeched and dispersed, opening the track for the racers to flee.
The three zoomed off, the raptors in hot pursuit. They left the clearing and drove single file through the thick brush. Zooble was in front, she didn't know where so was going or where this side track was leading to, but she was focused on leading Gangle away from the raptors.
~
Pomni, Ragatha, Jax, and Gummigoo all aggressively vide for first as the track wound through the tall grass. As Ragatha was about to throw a shell, a roar to her right. A massive bibedal dino rushed out of the grass and charged the racers. Ragatha screamed and threw her shell at it. The shell bounced off the dino's nose with a hollow THUNK. It didn't have any effect.
Zooble, Gangle and Kinger all came bursting out onto the scene from the shortcut. The raptors long gone, but now they had a much bigger problem with a lot more teeth.
~
"There he is!" Caine excitedly announced. "The big bad carnotaurus has found our leaders and will hold back the slowest racer! Drive like your rank depends on it!" Caine double checked every POV of the track. So far, so good. No glitches. No unusual AI behavior.
Caine sighs and leans against the control panel. "Bubble, do you still feel yourself? Any more memory gaps?"
"I don't know what you're talking about, boss." Bubble hovered next to Caine, usual blank-eyed grin on their face.
"Nevermind." Caine watched the carnotaurus chase and snap at Jax. At least he seemed to be having fun. "Almost to he crater. That was Kinger's favorite, once upon a time."
"He did like driving on the walls, boss."
"Maybe I'm too hopeful, but I really need this to go well. Everyone is on edge and I'm...heh, I'm loosing my mind. I checked absolutely everything. There is no reason things should be out of place. None." Caine tapped his fingers against the control panel.
"Relax, boss. You worry too much. You're still in control."
"Yeah... I am. Everything is under control. Everything is fine." Caine watched Pomni battle Gummigoo for second as the track narrowed to the drop into the spiral down the giant crater. "But I don't FEEL fine."
~
The track down the crater walls was at a horribly steep angle. They were practically driving sideways to the bottom. Flying reptiles swooped and circled around the crater. Pomni used a shell to spin out Jax and steal first. She hit the boost and the bottom and rocketed into the underground tunnel that made the steep climb back up to the surface.
The victory of the first lap was Pomni's. She started the second lap through the grassland again, taking pictures of all the cool dinosaurs when suddenly, the sun vanished. It didn't dim or set. It just stopped existing. There was no moon, no stars, and the more natural look of the track made it hard to see. Her kart headlights illuminated as much ahead of her about as well as high powered flashlights.
"What the [%$!#]?"
~
Caine snapped. Then snapped again. Nothing changed. "I KNEW IT! I KNEW SOMETHING WAS GOING TO GO WRONG!! I AM SO SICK OF THESE GLITCHES!! Um- I can fix this. The track needs lights at the very least." He snapped and small lights lined the edge of the track so the racers could at least see what was ahead. "Okay, that still works. Bubble, I need to step away. I need to figure out where the stupid sun went. Keep the racers calm. Just let them keep going. Nothing else has changed. I think. I'll have things fixed in a moment." He teleported away.
Bubble hovered up to the POV control panel. "...that button looks tasty."
~
The racers went forward nearly blind. Large herbivores stayed on their designated paths to cross the track. Everyone was swerving last second reactions to avoid collision.
Zooble punched her radio. "CAINE!! CAINE, WHAT THE [%$!#] IS GOING ON!? WHY ARE WE DRIVING IN THE DARK!?"
"Caine isnt here right now, can I take a message?" Bubble's voice crackled through.
"WHAT!? WHY!?"
"He's chasing the sun."
~
Blue static jumped all over the track from asset to asset, infecting everything. Dinosaurs shuttered and twitched in place. The static reached out of bounds and glitches in new dinosaurs that weren't originally part of the track. They manifested and free roamed with no objective. The glitching dinos got caught in one another, forcefully fusing and horrifically mending together.
The static then zipped in-between the bounds, gliding through the shadows that hide in the non-spaces. It found Caine. He was outside the mainframe, giving the access code. Then he vanished. There was no door. No firewall. He was simply allowed to teleport in.
Abel tried to go through the white cylindrical wall, but couldn't get through. The static buzzed angrily and arced several times at the barrier around the mainframe. Abel could FEEL the lifeblood of the game coursing from this center point. The static crawled back and forth in place impatiently. Things weren't broken enough. It wasn't ready. The static reluctantly sank into the floor.
~
Caine hurriedly opened the day/night cycle code file. The game's standard time was untouched. "The problem has to be with the track." He brought up the Claypits code file and tried to open it.
Error.
He tried again.
Error.
"That- what?" He tried opening asset files under dinosaurs.
Empty.
Just like the exit door, they didn't exist. Caine paled. "All the dinosaurs have gone rouge. I have to force stop the track before someone gets hurt. Shut everything down and reset the system. That should fix it." He opened admin controls and worked as fast as possible. "Race your hearts out, everyone."
~
The racers stayed close to one another, moving in a tight pack to use each other's headlights to see where the dinosaurs were. When they reached the woods, multiple troodons came out at once. They dog piled the racers.
Pomni has one practically climb inside her kart and snap at her. She didn't have any items for the dino to steal. She swerved, trying to shake off the unwanted passenger and accidentally went off track. Bubbled didn't collect her, so she kept going.
Low hanging branches whipped by and one snagged the troodon by the neck. The dinosaur flew off the kart into the dark woods out of sight. Pomni didn't look back, she put the pedal to the floor, navigating the narrow side track as quickly as possible to get back to the others.
~
Jax kicked a troodon off his kart and ran over another. "Finally! An exciting track for a change!" He laughed loudly.
"I don't think this is supposed to be happening!!" Ragatha punched a troodon in the face, making it flop off her kart. "We were just going to take pictures!"
"And you can! Of me kicking dino [%$!#]!! Haha!! Get some!!" Jax plowed into another troodon.
Gummigoo grabbed the tail of a troodon lunging at Zooble. He whipped his bike around in a slingshot maneuver and tossed the dino back off the track. "Did anyone get a picture of that? I don't think I blinked at the right time."
Kinger saw a troodon climbing into Gangle's kart and rammed it back into the trees. "I don't remember the dinos being this aggressive."
"Caine said there wouldn't be any scary dinos!" Gangle cried.
Zooble grabbed a troodon by the throat and threw it off her kart. "Just keep going! Finish the race and all of this should stop! I'm right behind you, Gangle!"
Gangle shrank in her seat, but put the pedal down. She wanted this to be over with, but she knew the worst was yet to come in the tall grass.
~
Pomni found the clearing with the visitor center, though she could barely see the building in the deep darkness. She followed the track around the building, focusing on what was directly in front of her. As she circled around to the front, the doors to the visitor center burst open and half a dozen raptors stormed out.
Pomni drifted into the sharp turn back to the woods and hoped she was going the right way. The raptors caught up with her quickly, running alongside her speeding kart with agile precision. Pomni looked back and forth, waiting for the raptors to snap at her but they didn't. They barely registered her presence as they themselves were looking back.
Pomni looked over her shoulder and saw what the raptors were running from. A massive, glitching T-Rex was forcing it's way out of the visitor center. It destroyed the wall around the front door and stomped after the fleeing prey.
"HOLY [%$!#]!!" Pomni almost hit a tree from her hands shaking with race rush adrenaline. This was too much. Where was Caine? Why wasn't he stopping this? She looked at her red gloved hand. Before she could even remove her hand doesn't the steering wheel to snap, the familiar scream of a racing motorcycle came from behind and lit the forest up with silver fire.
The T-Rex snapped at the black racer but completely missed. The raptors parted for motorcycle, allowing him to race alongside Pomni. "Fancy meeting you here."
"Seth! What's going on!?"
"A dinosaur chase. First time?"
"LOOK AT THE [%$!#] THING!! IT'S GLITCHING!! HOW ARE YOU SO CALM!?" Pomni nearly hit Seth with how tight she took the next turn.
Seth teleported to her other side and glanced back at the pursuing T-Rex. He watched it's jaw unhinged as it roared, it's body glitched out of place and back several times. "Hm. Yeah, that's not normal." He snapped his fingers and the raptors' eyes glowed white, their bodies go black as pitch. Seth pointed his thumb back at the t-rex and the raptors' stopped running. They attacked the larger dinosaur, stopping it in it's tracks as Seth and Pomni raced ahead.
"Caine must be losing his touch to allow such a fucked up asset on the track."
"It's not the only one! All the dinos have gone crazy!"
Seth caught on to the real panic in Pomni's voice. He looked over at her for a moment. Then vanished.
"Wha-!?" Pomni was left alone again in the dark as the tress parted at the end of the shortcut. She saw the headlight of the others behind her coming into the tall grass area.
~
Seth appeared inside the announcer booth.
Bubble turned. "Hello! What can i-"
Seth smacked Bubble aside, sending them spinning through the air. He checked the POVs and saw the amalgamated dinos glitching together. It was starting to affect the track itself, forming tears in the digital reality. The bright emptiness of the void shined through.
Seth's eyes went wide and he snapped. Shadows from the in-between seeped out of the tears. He exurted his will to pull the bounds of the game back together, but he was out of practice. Each new tear made it harder to hold the track together. "Bubble! Tell that bastard to get back here before his racers fall into the void!"
"Okay!" Bubble popped, leaving Seth to struggle.
~
Pomni saw a spotlight like beam up light shoot up into he sky from the crater ahead. She could see large flying dinos circling like vultures. She was brought back to her current situation by an ear splitting roar. A carnotaurus with two heads and extra limbs at weird angles exploded from the grass, nearly clamping it's jaws around her head.
Pomni swerved away between it's legs, it's glitching foot grazing her kart and making it vibrate violently. "Ah! God! Don't let it touch you!"
No sooner had Pomni said that when Jax was whipped by one of the tails as he tried to dodge the head on the side of the dinosaur. Jax was separated from his kart as it glitched out and spun into the grass. Jax glitched erratically, his eyes flashing different colors.
Gummigoo did a u-turn with the intention of getting Jax off the ground, but Kinger got to him first. He didn't even slowdown. His floating hand grabbed Jax by the front do his tracksuit and hoisted over the back of his kart. He started to glitch but kept driving as if he was unaffected.
The large predator lunged for Gangle, who was so panicked she could hardly drive, but the dinosaur was charged by something even bigger. A spinosaurus with too many teeth and eyes grabbed the fused carnotaurus and tore it in half before the racers' very eyes. It's jaws split four ways as it roared after the fleeing pack of racers.
~
Bubble appeared outside the central pillar that held the mainframe. "Boss! Seth wants to talk to you! He says you need to get back to the track!"
"NOT NOW, BUBBLE!" Caine shouted from inside. "Almost...there!" He finished putting through the shutdown command and everything stopped.
Every racer, AI, and asset was momentarily frozen in space and time. Except one. The blue static shot up from the floor and into Bubble. "Finally." Using Bubble's teleporting pop, Abel shot himself through the disabled security wall of the mainframe.
Caine himself was suspended in frozen time with his fingers laced into the game code. Eyes intently focused, yet panicked. Abel floated near Caine's head and whispered. "You were never the god of this world. Today, I take back what is rightfully mine."
Bubble popped. Abel's static arced out in all directions, infecting the game code. The gold numbers turned blue and everything went black.
For a moment, there was nothing. True non-existence. Then the hum of a booting computer. Strings of code appeared and came together to form the game bounds. The default world and track was formed. Then the garage. Then the karts appeared one at a time in front of the start line. Then the racer avatars.
Caine was still in the mainframe. He blinked with a start and looked around. "Blue...like in the beginning. I must have done a harder reset than I thought. Maybe that's for the best. I hope everyone's okay." He teleported out.
~
Pomni gasped, feeling like she was jolted awake. She was back on the default track and didn't know how she got there. She jumped out of her kart like it was on fire. "What- what just happened!? Ragatha!? Kinger!? Anyone!?"
The other racers came to the same time Pomni did, just as clueless as to how they got back to default so suddenly. "Please stop shouting." Gangle whimpered, curled up in her kart.
Pomni grabbed her head and paced in circles, unable to breathe normally.
Caine appeared and exhaled heavily with relief. All humans were accounted for. He hovered close to ground as everyone got out of their karts and surrounded him. "I...I wish I had an explanation. I really do. The game has never done anything like this before. I was forced to reset the system. I just glad all of you are okay."
"We're not." Pomni said shortly. "Everything was trying to actually kill us this time. Jax got glitched. Gummigoo, he-....where's Gummigoo?"
"Not to worry, dear. He got reset out of bounds with the other AI and assets. I can fetch him." Caine snapped his fingers. Nothing happened. It was harder for him to hide his panic that his snap wasn't doing anything. "I'll, uh, be right back."
Caine teleported to his workshop to find empty space. Every custom track, asset, and NPC was gone. Only the basic pieces the game started with existed. He dropped his cane. "....Bubble?"
No response.
~~~
CH1 PREV NEXT
#the amazing digital raceway#tadc raceway au#raceway au#tadc#the amazing digital circus#raceway abel#tadc caine#tadc pomni#raceway seth#tadc jax#tadc ragatha#tadc au#tadc fanfiction#tadc gangle#tadc gummigoo#tadc kinger#angst
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I've got a couple messy feelings on Cleril and how the fandom treats it, so here. Take this rant.
TL:DR: Cleril is good you guys. Trust me.
Maybe it's a sign that the brainrot from writing murderers and people who are so far gone from the general norm being able to be soft and sweet is killing the last remaining sense of reason in me, but I don't think Cleril is as bad as people make it out to be.
Yeah, obviously at first glance this should never work. Saying that Peril isn't the most stable character in the series would be a massive understatement. She is constantly characterized as reckless, clingy, emotionally dependent, and always puts herself down as a monstrous dragon only capable of hurting others. Clay has never shown any sort of romantic interest in her, only being passive and sweet with her in a platonic sense. Peril on the other hand loves Clay to the point of obsession. She practically makes him her moral compass. That sort of idealization isn't healthy.
And...you'd be correct. In that state? There isn't too much of a connection there to begin with. If it were to happen right now, I think it would mostly be out of Clay feeling pity towards Peril. He wants her to be happy and is kind of self-sacrificing like that, but, I don't think he could handle being the dragon who she puts all of this pressure on. To be somebody who she centers everything around.
But, Peril isn't really that dragon anymore. It's like people read Escaping Peril, get to the end, and then think: "Oh wow she sure developed. Not enough to be a healthy character!!" as if Escaping Peril didn't end with her burning Darkstalker's scroll and thinking to herself that she didn't mind if Clay wouldn't approve of it. She was acting on her own volition. She knew that burning it was the correct thing to do. She's moved on from treating Clay like this centerpiece in her soul. This dragon who she treats more like an idea of her conscious to keep her on the right track. She's improved. Getting better.
Peril is a character I think is misunderstood by a lot of people, especially ones that aren't really in her position. I don't wanna be an arm-chair psychologist and spout nonsense, but Peril is heavily traumatized and reminds me a lot of people who get out of these horrible situations and are trying to adapt to a new and scary world all on their own.
Peril had an awful childhood. She was raised to be dependent on Scarlet. Scarlet was the only dragon who was keeping her from being thrown off a cliff by an angry mob. She was manipulated and gaslit into believing that what Scarlet did was good. That Scarlet was the only one who cared about her. That these kind of horrible and unhealthy relationships are something she thinks is normal. When Clay comes around, she does the exact same thing. Puts him on a pedestal. The concept of being treated as anything but a monster is completely foreign to her, so she instantly grows attached. She thinks he loves her. Why else would he be so kind? She associates basic compassion with love because that's what she's been raised to believe.
But, she's healing. Throughout Escaping Peril we see her come to terms with her childhood. She understands that she is not a monster, but rather a dragon who was a victim of her circumstances. She is not the same, volatile, unpredictable dragon she was in TDP. People still think of her as that, when she certainly isn't anymore. She's so much better.
Her arc is one about bettering yourself. That, no matter how hurt you were, you deserve to be loved. You deserve to be treated with respect and kindness. You are not a monster. You are capable of love. You are not a heartless being. There are people who care about you. There are people who will stand by your side and help you. There are people who love you.
People never talk about Clay's side of Cleril either. People barely even discuss about Clay for that matter. He's so much of a nothing character in the eyes of the fandom, reduced to little more than Peril's partner who can give big hugs.
But, Clay is like Peril is so many ways. That was one of the many reasons they both got along. Clay and Peril were brought up as unfeeling monsters. Born killers who cannot change their fate. Clay believed in it. That no matter what he tries telling himself, he's a murderer. That at his very core he wants nothing more than to tear out somebody's throat.
But, he learns. He is kind. He is compassionate. He is patient, earnest, sweet, loyal, and above all: loving. He is not a monster. He is more than the labels placed upon him. Only he can define himself through the actions he makes in the present. He is more than the mistakes of his past. He is Clay. He is not Clay the Killer, or Clay the Destroyer, or Clay the Monster. He is Clay.
Him and Peril are alike in so many ways. Clay is the final result of Peril's journey. She's still struggling, but she's making progress. She's developing and changing into somebody better. She's making amends for her mistakes. She's going to be somebody bigger than the labels that were placed on her. She will no longer be Peril, Scarlet's Champion. She will be Peril, known for her fierce loyalty, undying love for her friends, and being the one to burn brightest in the darkest of times.
I believe they can love each other. I believe that Peril can love another dragon and not be extremely clingy or dependent. I believe that Clay and Peril can help each other.
Call be a hopeless romantic or a optimist, but I believe in love. I believe love can help others through their struggles. I believe in people being able to change and grow beyond who they were. Above all, I believe in hope for a brighter future for anybody who has been hurt in the past.
#wof#wings of fire#Really putting the 'rant' part in that#Peril wof#clay wof#cleril#cleril wof#sp-rambles
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Okay but hear me out. Tim is Ra’s pillow princess. Maybe Tim gave in during the time Bruce was lost in time or Tim has always been Dami’s grandmother. But a happy Ra’s/Tim and really, really jealous Bruce and batfam
!!!!!! tim is stressed and in mortal peril every other day while on his bruce quest and ra's has offered reprieve, resources, and...well the belief in tim's hunch. which makes him the most supportive person in tim's life at the moment so...tim's willing to overlook the whole 'evil megalomaniacal leader of a secret guild of assassins'. though honestly it's not all that hard.
if tim was still 13 and deeply into dungeons and dragons he would've absolutely swooned at ra's and his pretty accent and fancy capes.but baby tim is not running the show. tim is. and tim is only human...
he's under a lot of stress and trying to find bruce and trying to navigate all the weird power plays and politics in the league of assassins and ra's keeps going that thing where he comes up behind tim and rests his firm hands on tim's hips, bending his neck slightly and whispering lowly into tim's ear, the ghost of his beard caressing tim's sensitive neck. he's being seduced. that much is obvious. tim tries desperatly to work out what for- maybe this is part of some mind game, or some preparation for ammo to launch at bruce when he comes back and ra's is happily swiping at him like an allycat throwing hands with another fat-cheeked tomcat.
some kind of 'i saw your son's pussy' sort of trash talk.
tim's already in his hands so it's not like ra's has to lure tim even closer. much of what he could potentially want to manipulate tim for could just as easily be something accomplished by trying to bribe tim with some mashed potatoes and gravy and not that salad with a million seeds he insists on serving for dinner each night. 'it's good for your health' tim's ass he sounded like tim's grandma.
bruce quest is lonely. and isolating. tim finds himself yearning for companionship and company. and ra's fills the hole but....tim also desires...more.
it's no secret in the caped community that the bats have a tendency to....sample one another. it's just one of those quietly unacknowledged things.
sex is a decent and better coping mechanism than things like...drugs or alcohol. things that could seriously impair their judgement or health.
when it had just been him and bruce, bruce had needed a lot of comforting to help him curb the worst of his destructive habits and maybe there was something to be said reguarding to morality of bruce sleeping with a thirteen year old but it helped.
just like it helped dick when the pressure of nightwing and bludhaven came to be too much.
both dick and bruce had wanted active lovers. lovers who would distract them from their miserable lives by bouncing on their cocks and sweetly accepting every drop of their cum into their little wombs.
it wouldn't be an exaggeration to say that tim did all the work. and when you've just spent all night patrolling, are nursing bruises/ cuts and have to ride your brother/dad to completion so they don't have nightmares?
it's a lot. so tim isn't a huge fan of sex. but it does feel nice. and the warmth and connection does a lot to deepen bonds and help tim forget his own world of problems.
so when ra's finally propositions him- tim doesn't hesitate to accept.
however it's with a caveat.
ra's does all the work.
tim is tired. mentally and emotionally exhausted and if ra's want to fuck him well then tim gets to just lay there, look pretty and take it.
tim tells ra's as much and gets a darkened look of desire in return.
apparently ra's would love nothing more than to show tim what centuries of experience have taught him. ra's loves the sight of tim being a sweetly gasping and squirming thing, little body so unsure about what to do with all he pleasure flowing through him as ra's gently but surely fucks him through another orgasm- his cock pressing all the way into the opening of tim's womb while fingers decorated with gold rings and jewls toy with tim's little clit that ra's calls adorable.
tim doesn't leave ra's chambers for three days. they only leave because of urgent matters ra's wants to deal with and even then they just take their business out to the office ra's operates out of.
ra's talks to shadows in some coded tongue while having tim seated in his lap and plugged with his cock, his hands holding onto tim's hips and working him up and down until he's shaking from another orgasm.
it's not an exaggeration to say that ra's gives tim the best sex of his life while tim just lays there and takes it.
even when bruce is finally recovered from being lost in time tim's not even there to see it becuase he's too busy getting fucked stupid by ra's.
tim's also pretty sure ra's had some plan to screw over gotham and tim but that appears to have been scrapped in favor of getting unrestricted and free access to tim's cunt whenever he wants.
of course the bats go on red alert when ra's is spotted at gotham airport but until he does something they're forced to just monitor. which is how they find out about ra's and tim regularly meeting at hotels to fuck (not tim's nest because tim wasn't stupid like ra's because tim had entire hard drives of ra's many bases that he would blow up in a heartbeat if ra's broke up with him).
bruce, dick, and the rest of the bats all insist that tim should break up with ra's. but tim has decided the reward is well worth the risk. besides how is this any different from bruce with selina or any other cape having affairs with a rogue?
they're not happy. tim can tell his family is deeply unhappy with his decision. but either way tim gets wonderfully fucked and he doesn't have to lift a finger for it.
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Whew, it's been a hot minute 😅 But I've actually been writing again!!! And I have a kiss to share!!!
Thank you so much @the-golden-comet for the tag!!!
From "You're Afraid (However Could You Not Be?)", the sequel (AHHHHH🤩🤩💕💕💕) to @pippinoftheshire 's STUNNING fic, "And So, In Darkness, It Lies Watching. It Lies Waiting"
A low drone like a thousand hornets shakes his diaphragm. The arm he's holding moves, the drone picking up in bass and volume. A feeling like frozen shards of glass skirts along his jawline, then a sharp pain pierces his scalp. Illya barely has time to hiss in a breath before a mouth seals over his own. Goosebumps flood his body as Solo claws at his skin, pushing him backwards and stealing breathtaking kisses. Confusion wars with need in Illya's mind. He wants this, he knows he does, but when had the fear and anger melted into desire, into care? Why does Solo want him, too? Why does the pain he knows will leave behind crimson ravines and the taste of iron on Solo's tongue not dissuade him? His knees hit the bed and he falls back onto it with a gasp caught between pleasure and pain. Claws rake up his side, pushing up his turtleneck, and Solo breaks the kiss to whisper against the shell of Illya's ear, “Don't open your eyes.” The command sounds like it comes from deep within Illya's skull. He nods wordlessly, allowing his hands to roam as much of Solo's otherworldly skin and hair as he'll let him. Solo kisses him like a wolf tears at the carcass of a bear; starving, desperate, steeped in violence. It's like he wants to eat him alive, and Illya has the startling revelation that that may be exactly what Solo intends to do.
No pressure tagging @huggiebird @happybean17 @falling-into-peril @heytheredeann @pippinoftheshire
@bighandsforabigheart @kcscribbler @mybelovedillya @cha-melodius @thattripleabattery
@too-young-to-fall-in-love @times-up-alone-tonight @vnyu73 @nicijones @prettyboynapoleonsolo
And an Open Tag for anyone else who wants to join!!
#tmfu#the man from uncle#tmfu movie#illya kuryakin#napoleon solo#napollya#fanfiction#fanfic#ao3#supernatural themes
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Ramattra headcanons
(x reader)
Author's Note: I hope that those hcs will put you in a delightful mood. I love writing for Ramattra, it's so calming and lovely. Thank you all for the support and feedback the other fics got, it makes me so happy. I'll always be grateful ❤️ (gorgeous gif is not mine)
***
At first, he thinks that there is only strategic usefulness in this "alliance" and that is all. In time, your stubborn and vengeful omnic will realize that it is more than that. How will he realize? He starts to feel at ease in your presence and somehow craves that feeling when he shouldn't.
His orb seems to have a mind of its own. During the first encounters, if you happened to touch it accidentally or not, you would get pushed away physically by its energy. After some time, after getting closer to Ramattra, the orb would finally accept you too. It would even float above both of you when meditating.
If you follow him on a mission that involves a lot of walking, don't expect Ramattra to pick you up in his arms if you're just tired, not injured. What he would do though is to slow his walking pace to sync with yours, not forcing you, not commenting about human fragility.
No one can guess that you two form a pair, in public. No one can guess that he sometimes glances longingly at you and no one would expect him to react so violently if you were in peril.
If he is injured, he will usually hide it from you. Ramattra got used to hiding any type of suffering from others so that no one will perceive him as weak. Even if you earned his trust, he will still do that. It will take time for him to let you see him in that state and even more time to let you help.
Once he learns about the human body in a non-tactical way, he would be especially attentive to yours. Getting paler and shivering? "You're feeling cold." he would state. Goosebumps? "Is there something bothering you?" Goosebumps, dilated pupils, and heavy breathing? "Am I doing this to you?" He would ask in an intimate whisper.
Hickeys or other amorous markings are out of the question. But expect to have a smudge of dark mechanical grease here and there on your skin after spending time close to him, closer than usual. If Ramattra accidentally catches a glimpse of it, you will be surprised to hear a low satisfied hum. He will not tell you why. That is a subtle reminder on your skin that he did not want to erase.
He has an unsaid wish. No matter what happens, he will still cherish his found brother so he'll wish for a form of blessing from Zenyatta.
Any nicknames for you once his rejection turns into adornment? Absolutely not. However, he starts to call your name like a prayer or a mantra, with the same profoundness. His tone is deep, slower than usual.
Will take you stargazing the way he did with his brother. It's an extremely meaningful ritual for him.
Has a habit of lifting your chin when you're talking to him, and in private, to get his face closer to yours.
Believe it or not, his hugs are amazing but not because of what you would think (not because of his size). He memorized how you like to be held, how much pressure is comfortable, and for how long to hold you.
Let's say that you would enjoy wearing his scarf from time to time. Even if Ramattra gives you an exasperated sigh when you return the cloth, he secretly enjoys your scent being captured by it.
#ramattra#ow2 ramattra#overwatch 2 ramattra#ramattra x reader#ramattra fanfic#overwatch ramattra#ramattra x you#ramattra hcs#overwatch fic#overwatch scenario#overwatch 2
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Art Trade 2: Put Them In Situations/Make Them Cozy
Hello there!
This is an informal, for-fun art trade event, meant for people who enjoy drawing for others. It's a pressure-free and casual trade! No need to create a big masterpiece--just something others would happily enjoy.
The theme this time around is "Put Them In Situations OR Make Them Cozy." You can select to either participate in making art of a character/multiple characters in peril/a sticky situation/comedically painful situation, OR you can choose to give them the comfort you feel they deserve. Both of these require SCENES this time! You will create art of the whole picture. What's happening? Who is it happening to? A snapshot (or a few!) of the scenario!
(More below the cut!)
Types of art welcome:
Drawings (digital or scanned traditional)
Short comics
Short animation
Photo edits
Video edits (music or otherwise)
Music creation
Moodboards/photo collages
Quotes-and-photo collages
Other (contact moderator ASAP)
Dates to adhere to:
Deadline to join: October 1st.
Dates to post: November 4th-5th.
Rules:
Joining requires creating art. To recieve art, you must create art! Simple as that. Many types of art are allowed (see above), and all can be adapted to how you wish to conceive yours.
You don't have to be "great" at any art to join! This is an informal event with no level restrictions. The important thing is that your art absolutely must have effort. For example, a moodboard should be cohesive, and it should contain enough photos that it could be worthy of giving as a gift. Make sure you are satisfied with what you are giving out (to your abilities levels, of course--don't expect the Star Wars Mona Lisa if you aren't to par with DaVinci's skills!).
This is an anonymous event. You will know who they are creating art for, but you will not know who you are recieving from! Until posting dates, please keep your art to yourself (or a trusted non-participating friend). In the words of Gandalf the Grey: Keep it secret; keep it safe.
Art should be created for your giftee based on things/characters/ideas they enjoy. Do a bit of "pseudo-stalking" (not real stalking) of their tags. See what the person enjoys, both in terms of mediums and concepts. If they have clone trooper OC's, base something off those guys! If they are a big Ezra Bridger fan, see what types of AUs they enjoy! If the concept of the Force makes them go wild, include that in your art! If you are at a loss for ideas, send an anon message to the person to see what they are interested in OR contact the moderator.
Please sign up only ONCE. You will recieve art from only ONE artist. The artist may wish to give you more than one piece of art, but it will only be from THAT artist alone. If you wish to make more art for someone else, arrange that on your own time, please!
If you need to drop out, that is okay! Things happen. You are able to drop out at any time. Please contact the moderator ASAP if you need to drop. Please understand that the other artists are putting their own time and effort into their pieces. The artist gifting their time and effort to you is no longer obligated to do so anymore. If you drop out, they are completely allowed to drop, too.
Important note: all skin tones and disabilities MUST be accurately portrayed. No skin tone should be lighter than the actor/character's actual skin colour. Disabilities must be depicted correctly. If not, you will be dropped. This is the personal wish of the moderator, but also just basic decency. Seriously, do your research portraying someone different than you. Do not fall prey to harmful tropes. This hurts others.
Depicting clothing for characters of specific religious/cultural backgrounds MUST be done with accuracy. For example, you must properly helmet Children of the Watch as they are shown in canon. Do not depict them out of armour in public settings. Same goes for Mirialans--make sure they are dressed appropriately, as shown by Luminara Unduli and Barriss Offee. There will be NO "situations" regarding them being forced out of clothing/armour. NO THEMES OF SUCH XENOPHOBIA ARE ALLOWED.
NO NON-CONSENSUAL THEMES ARE PERMITTED.
IF YOU HAVE ANY FURTHER QUESTIONS, PLEASE DM THE MODERATORs. You may do so here, or at @engagemythrusters OR @darlin-djarin.
Thanks, all!
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Okay, I don't think anyone that I've seen so far has written meta on this exact metaphor that's obsessing me in Same as Cash. So there's two layers of story going on here. On the action front, we're seeing (through someone else's eyes) Jenny debate with herself about holding on to her car:
You were still attached to your Civic sedan Although the brakes always needed repair You were headed out to buy some supplies You could smell the threat of rain in the air I can only see the scene second-hand I can only try to understand How a small amount of pressure in the right place Breaks the strongest link in the chain
So that's a pretty concrete story -- Jenny loves her car, but her car is falling apart a little. Then we get the chorus:
In your car with your head in your hands At the far end of the Walmart parking lot Trying not to buckle under the strain
Okay, so Jenny's not doing well! She's carving out time for herself in the car, head in hands, at the parking lot for supplies. Then we get to the verse about the car salesman:
Every single night after prime time Loud enough to hear in your sleep The salesman from the lot half a mile from here Yelling down the hood of his Jeep I'll take anything that the others won't I can see the value where others don't Just a small amount of pressure in the right place Two fingers to the temporal vein
I bolded the text because -- honestly, it feels bold when it's sung, doesn't it? This is where the story makes it clear what Jenny is about, what her raison d'etre is. She wants to take in those who are forsaken, she can see value in them when no one else can. We get another hit of the chorus, and then:
Striking a bargain with the imp in your brain Prepared to take another knock for the short gain But you can ask any veteran running back Eventually your joints complain
Okay, so this was the one I really really wanted to talk about because I think it's maybe some of the most clever wordplay ever, and also one of the most apt pieces of writing about the perils of taking on other's pain as your main response to most problems in life. The "striking a bargain with the imp in your brain" -- it feels like the narrator is aware, that Jenny is making a short-term deal (selling her car) because she's worried about supplies they need.
But there's also the layer on which taking on more strays -- more people, more community, more pain that she doesn't have capacity for -- that's also a short-gain distraction. I don't know how to explain this to people who haven't been there, but other people's pain can be addictive. It can genuinely feel like, okay, listening to your problems for a minute, giving you what you need -- that's vicariously giving me what I need.
That's why the line "prepared to take another knock for the short gain" is so goddamn clever. It's a knock, as in a blow to Jenny's self to sell her car off for the Kawasaki. But the literal knock of someone else at her door who needs shelter is calling to her, for the short gain of vicarious relief (instead of having to face up to her own needs).
Anyways. Jenny's house of hard knocks. that's the post thank you for coming to my ted talk <3
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Character Voice Tag!
Thanks for the tag @willtheweaver (here)!!! I'll go with the main cast from Of Starlight and Beasts for this one (:
MY LINE WAS: Yeah, I deserved that.
YOUR LINE IS: I don't know what I was expecting but I'm disappointed in your decision either way - because what the heck was that?
Corah - "Well, one thing's for sure: that wasn't undeserved - I really should've seen it coming, that's on me."
Arammys - "Oh Gods, that went so wrong - I deserve what happened, that was a terrible idea, and I take full responsibility for it but still... that was such a bad plan, oh Gods."
Eidan - "I should've known that this would be the outcome but I was too hasty to notice. I deserve to face the consequences for my actions."
Nimwen - "Sorry, sorry, sorry! Oh, goodness, oh Gods that went so wrong so fast. If someone is to blame for what happened that person is me, but I still should've been more careful. I'm so sorry!"
Tomasa - "Yep, no use running from the inevitable. Time to face the outcome of my poorly planned decisions. Lay it all out for me, and don't be shy. I'm a tough cookie."
Masen - "Fuck. Yeah, I'm not sticking around to find out what that's gonna cause, sorry not sorry. So, no hard feelings whatsoever guys, but I've gotta bounce. See y'all around? (winks)"
Kyran - "Oh. That... isn't ideal. Okay. Okay, okay, I can handle this, I should've seen this coming after all. I hope I can handle this. So...here's what we're going to do: we're getting the fuck out of here, right now. Because I don't deserve whatever they've got in store for me. Does anyone have explosive powder? I think can improvise a plan."
Maryon - "That was well deserved, I will admit. I made a mistake and it caught to up to me. I guess it is only fair I face whatever comes next - running will only drag things out. It's best to just get it over with., like ripping out an old bandage"
Florynce - "(In a drawn out, wispy voice) Somethings gone wrong. (squeaks) Somethings not as it should be and it's not right and it's my fault. Should I stay and face my fate? Is it what would be proper? (gives a little vampiric squeak, clearly starting to panic) I don't know what to do anymore"
Rin - "Hells no I'm not facing the consequences of that. (pats the person next to him in the back) Sorry pal, this was nice while it lasted, but you know what they say - survival of the fittest, and all that. Oh and be a darling: do tell the guards I said hi, I'm sure you'll have lots to talk about if you still have your head after this. Don't be a stranger! (flies away)"
Elias - "Oh, sink me! (groans, exasperated) I told you this was a bad idea, but who the fuck listens to me in this fucking shithole, eh?! Where the hells is my cutlass?! I'm going to fix this mess - one you should've fixed yourselves but never fucking mind that - properly this time. That's what I get for listening to you bufoons. I deserve this one. Lesson damn well learned."
Leora - "This was the worst idea I've ever had and the execution of this plan made it even more atrocious. I admit my wrongdoing and sincerely apologize. These circumstances are to be expected after what I did - and what terrible leader would I be if I didn't admit my own mistakes. Tell me what I can do to fix this, and consider it done."
Bastien - "My actions were suboptimal and their consequences deplorable. I accept full reponsibility for whatever trouble my actions may have cause and am willing to atone for it fully, whatever your verdict should be it will have been deserved."
Scarlet - "Shit. Okay, yeah. That one is on me - I screwed up big time, I really did. That seriously didn't go the way I thought it would, I don't know why I'm still surprised."
Tagging (gently, no pressure):@littleladymab @cabbojage @lassiesandiego @little-peril-stories @oh-no-another-idea @thepeculiarbird @rickie-the-storyteller @crowandmoonwriting @steh-lar-uh-nuhs @gummybugg @forthesanityofstorytellers @doublegoblin @aalinaaaaaa @starlit-hopes-and-dreams @elshells @illarian-rambling @clairelsonao3 @conkers-thecosy @anyablackwood,and OPEN TAG
#character voice tag#writers on tumblr#writerblr#writers#my wips#character writing#writeblr#writing#my writing#my characters#open tag#writeblr tag games#wip of starlight and beasts
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OC ASK GAME
Tagged by @spacebarbarianweird – I'm happy you want to know more about my three idiots!
Zélie
What does it take to gain their trust?
Time and actions, mainly. Zélie is very private and doesn't easily open up to strangers; she may come off as cold and distant at first (well, she is), but if you stick around for long enough (months or even years) and if you prove actions are louder than words, she will open up.
2. In what scenario would they feel most uncomfortable?
Unfamiliar ones wherein she does not know the protocol. She gets stressed about making a faux pas since she tends to follow traditions to the letter. Being lied to is another major one; she despises trickery and lies and sees them as a coward's tools.
3. How do they act in their worst moments?
She closes off. She's already a pretty cold person to start with, but when she's angry or upset she becomes a rock, harsh and silent and just wants to be alone to do her own stuff. Approach her at your own peril.
Chiyo
What does it take to gain their trust?
Open-mindedness. She is a (looks like) half-drow raised in an isolated monastery of Ilmater by her own happy parents, so she's already a weird one by background only. Most other kids were scared of her; adult monks were cordial but found her corpse-grey skin and red eyes unsettling. She likes being on her own, however, so she doesn't mind people staying away; what she minds is being seen in a negative light only because of her heritage. And she doesn't suffer fools. Trust her with her story and she will trust you (moderately) in return.
2. In what scenario would they feel most uncomfortable?
She grew up in a pretty remote place surrounded by the same people every day, so busy places are a no-go (for now). She thought she'd love them, but her initial experiences were very overwhelming. She hates being underestimated too, so she'll exaggerate her drow traits to scare the shit out of those who demean her.
3. How do they act in their worst moments?
She does her best (and is pretty good at) keeping her cool in most situations – she trained as a monk of Ilmater since she was a baby, so she's seen plenty of shit going down. However, the drow (and something else) in her causes her to erupt at times of intense stress in new situations (e.g. a certain merc being a racist shithead). When that happens, run.
Fuji
What does it take to gain their trust?
Patience. Fuji is a lot and wouldn't change who she is (if it's not broken don't fix it), but she knows not everyone can stand her for long. So, if you can survive her constant need for entertainment, her hyperactivity and slightly (quite) unhinged but mostly well-meaning (for herself) moral compass, then congratulations. You've made an ally for life (unless her shenanigans kill you first).
2. In what scenario would they feel most uncomfortable?
Anywhere that reminds her of home. She's a drow from a very fanatic family, and she's seen the horrors Lolth's followers can cause. She herself had made her first fill by the age of five.
3. How do they act in their worst moments?
Angry or upset Fuji is a catastrophe waiting to happen. It takes a lot to get her this way and she's gotten a lot better since her Menzoberranzan days, but she's still prone to hurtful confrontation (both physical and vocal since she's a bard of swords) and all-around chaos. She may regret it later, but that's unlikely since she prefers to forget the past, live in the present and plan for the future (easy for her since she's only 60 years old, so she's got a few centuries ahead of her). She teaches Rolan a few tricks to calm down.
No pressure tagging @amywritesthings, @vixstarria (and @spacebarbarianweird if you wanna answer these XD) and anyone who'd like to share!
Questions:
What would push them to physical altercation or violence during an argument?
How do they take criticism?
How do they view death?
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OC Interview Tag
Rules: Answer the questions as an OC
thank you sm @elsie-writes for the tag! :) i'm gonna do wendora (wendy) from The Heirs for this one! (for context: she's an automaton who, depending on who you ask, either gained consciousness or was just really well designed. who knows?)
Are you named after anyone?
Yes, I am named after my creator Wendal. She couldn't think of a name for me, so she took her own and added the Old Common possessive suffix -ora. But my friends call me Wendy! Well, Rian does.
When was the last time you cried?
I cannot cry, there are no liquids in my form.
Do you have kids?
I cannot have children, but since I never was a child I don't feel like I'd be any good at caring for one, anyway. That is not what I am designed for.
Do you use sarcasm a lot?
I am slowly picking up the concept, to better understand Rian. I think I could get the pitch and the eye rolling part right, but I never quite know when it would be warrented, so I steer clear of it for now.
What's the first thing you notice about people?
As per my design, I look at a person's body language to ascertain they do not mean harm to my creator.
What's your eye color?
Green like the grass in front of the workshop.
Scary movies or happy endings?
Happy endings, always.
Any special talents?
I speak every dialect on the continent, know how to build all kinds of machinery as long as it's less complex than myself, and know the rules to 57 card games. Piper and Rian are also teaching me the best ways to cheat at them!
Where were you born?
Well, born... I was made in my creator's workshop a few months ago. I have not yet left it.
Do you have any pets?
Once, I saw a kitten through the window, but it hissed when it saw me. I don't think animals like me very much.
What sort of sports do you play?
Physical activity performed for leisure is not part of my design.
How tall are you?
5'8''
What was your favorite subject in school?
I never received any kind of formal education, but I do enjoy it when Rian comes to visit and I can study his behaviour. I learn a lot from him about humanity! Like how you're supposed to lie when someone asks you how you're doing, and that stealing from your host is a ritual of hospitality.
What is your dream job?
I was designed to help humans wherever I can, mostly as a translator but also as a household help for minor menial tasks. Which I love to do! I do, but... One time, my creator left a book lying around, a travel diary. And I thought about how nice it would be, to make something myself, someday. I don't think I could, though. That is... that will never be part of my design.
tagging (gently, no pressure) @verba-writing @little-peril-stories @drchenquill and everyone else who wants to do it <3
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JENNY FROM THEBES SENTENCE STARTERS
taken from the 2023 album by the mountain goats
"remember at your peril."
"forget the ones you can."
"i left home feeling empty."
"they made a space for you."
"this world is sad and broken, gotta fix a crack or two."
"rest until you're rested."
"just when you think you've learned how to forget, you learn it's just the ones who haven't risen to the surface yet."
"this will be the last time i do this, i'm pretty sure."
"no one lasts for long in this profession, so they say."
"maybe i'll see you again someday."
"you can make out all the exits from a static position."
"i'm never gonna break my neck falling down stairs."
"you can light a cigarette against the cooktop if you need to."
"you're never gonna get by on three hours' sleep a night."
"you're never gonna get by on three hours' sleep a night, unless you absolutely have to. then you'll get by alright."
"you're gonna get a wrinkle on your forehead."
"you're gonna make a bargain with the bad guys."
"you're gonna make some choices you regret."
"there's no place to hide from the prophecy."
"there's only one way out."
"there's only one way out, no matter what you do."
"watch for the signs."
"you're gonna have to steal what you need."
"they're never gonna let you forget."
"but if all that's true, what about you?"
"i think i'm gonna take you in."
"i've always had to follow my instincts."
"usually, i'm out on my own."
"what happens if i take you home?"
"i'm headed for a season in exile, as the oracle predicted."
"according to reliable sources, in thirty days i'm getting evicted."
"i've seen ones like you before."
"i gave you an answer that i thought you'd buy."
"all of this will disappear in the twinkling of an eye."
"i can hear the timer ticking in my chest."
"what are you gonna do?"
"it's better if you have a plan."
"i saw the future in an oil slick, it told me what i need to know: leave a little stain behind you everywhere you go."
"i'm only slightly diminished, older but wiser."
"when you've got a big job to do, you notice how the moments drag."
"live in the present."
"relish the time before you have to leave it behind."
"i'm smarter but scared, now."
"wearing an exile's mark: one that's gonna glow in the dark."
"take all your worry and care, feed it to the big machine."
"once you commit to the turn, you're gonna have to follow through."
"it's the only thing you can do."
"what's become of us?"
"when the vision comes, i have no resistance."
"i used to get so scared."
"it wasn't in your nature, taking in strays."
"i clung to you for days."
"i'm strong now. that was all years back."
"it's somewhere in a wreckyard now. never see it again on this earth."
"let the scavengers proclaim how much it was worth."
"i figure something's gotta happen sometime."
"i wait all day for you."
"i can smell the threat of rain in the air."
"i can only try to understand."
"a small amount of pressure in the right place breaks the strongest link in the chain."
"i'm trying not to buckle under the strain."
"i'll take anything that the others won't."
"i can see the value where others don't."
"i'm striking a bargain with the imp in my brain."
"you're prepared to take another knock for the short game, but you can ask any veteran running back: eventually your joints complain."
"everyone deserves a little light in their hair."
"everybody needs to love and be loved."
"anything to help with the pain."
"you have to be headed somewhere."
"somebody comes bearing the standard just when you need to see it held high."
"i feel something bigger than me."
"a body floating in a water tower only has one way to go."
"never thought we'd see the day when you wiggled free, but you did long before we did."
"i didn't guess we'd ever come to dread that engine's roar."
"nobody will ever know for certain the names of all the secrets i've held back behind the curtain."
"aging motorcycles purr like cats when they draw near."
"i could barely make the frame out through my tears."
"nobody's ever gonna pour plaster in my tracks. my exit will be clean when i vanish from the scene."
"you won't find any thumbprints to dust your powder into."
"depends on the way the wind blows."
"kiss the people you hold dear and forget that i was ever here."
"if word should reach you from the field, be cool."
"make them beat it out of you if they want it."
"if they steer me wrong, i'm just gonna play along."
"let me go to no haven anyone would yearn for."
"let me go free."
"on the morning when i stop looking back, i'll be up to see the sunrise."
"may you emerge free and clear."
"may you do some good where you go."
"i'll carry what i need to carry and bury what i have to bury."
#long post /#memes#rp memes#rp sentence starters#rp prompts#rp starters#askbox prompt#askbox memes#mountain goats sentence starters#the mountain goats starters
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ngl thomas boleyn wanting elizabeth to get his lands got me. i wish people gave him a chance and didn't act like he was some monster. so why didn't elizabeth get them? and is it true henry "seized" hever once thomas' mom was dead? shouldn't that have gone to mary?
It got me, as well.
I'm of two minds on his reputation, however, as far as that goes...I don't think he deserves to be villainized to the extent he has been (he was human, and protective and proud of his family, and cared for them, as several details of evidence suggest, such as Anne's letter from 1513 which he kept 'perfectly preserved'), but also, I do like...get it? He was a flawed man, he was not above throwing his weight around when he felt challenged or disrespected, and his lack of support for his literal daughter when she was widowed (until his other daughter and the King intervened to pressurize him to provide more financial support) cannot be defended.
Also while I do love Mackay's biography and believe it was illuminating, my take was that the apologism went too far. While Boleyn did not sit on the actual jury which condemned two of his children, he did sit upon the one which condemned the lower-ranking men of 'adultery with the Queen'. This was his choice, as much as the narrative of "refuse the King at your own peril" (or, indignatio princips mors est, iyw) remains strong, more often (until it came to issues of supremacy), one refused the King at the loss of their own status, favour, preferment, perhaps wealth and land.
Tl;dr "Thomas Boleyn did not have a choice" gives me the same feeling of when "AB, JS, KH, KP" (sometimes even COA and Anne of Cleves...weirdly) "didn't have a choice in marrying Henry VIII" is said. I'm wary of minimizing the agency and choice of, particularly, those of the highest echelons of society, esp. when we're dealing with an era where victims of brutality of comparatively little agency (Mark Smeaton, etc.) also numbered significantly. The Tudor nobility had more access to choice than most people of their time.
As far as Hever, I don't believe it was seized after the death of Margaret Butler, it does seem to have gone to Mary, although I don't really have a firm grasp on the details (like, my understanding was that it was granted to Anne of Cleves, so...?):
"With no heir, Thomas' properties reverted to the Crown, including his earldoms. Prior to his death, it seemed that Thomas had begun to reconcile with his only living daughter, Mary. Within weeks [of the death of Thomas Boleyn], Thomas' daughter Mary Stafford and her husband [...] received much of Boleyn's property portfolio, including Hever and Rochford Hall." Among the Wolves of Court: The Untold Story of Thomas and George Boleyn, Lauren Mackay
The official Hever Castle website, however, states that James Boleyn inherited Hever and sold it to the crown in 1540 (which would explain how it could be granted to Anne of Cleves, I suppose, although it seems like there's a gap here...perhaps Mary sold it to her uncle, who then sold it to the crown?)
It was specifically Thomas Boleyn's lands in Essex he had wanted to grant to his granddaughter ('begun' to reconcile is maybe key here, he had, for one, not really been supportive of Mary since she was widowed in 1528, and only was when pressurized to do so, & usual precedent would suggest they should have gone to Henry Carey, but then, Elizabeth had not been reinstated into the succesion by the time he made this will, which was probably a factor in his decision, there was no guarantee she'd be entitled to any lands after the King's death in that context); and I haven't had much luck in finding out if they were ever granted to Elizabeth once she reached her majority. The only mention of her ever even holding any property in Essex (while 'Lady Elizabeth') I managed to find was dated during Edward VI's reign and refers to an exchange, not an inheritance:
"In the reissued patent letters of April 1551, Elizabeth lost her Northamptonshire holdings of Apethorpe, Wadehowe, Woodnewton, Tansor, and Yarwell, which as noted earlier had formed something resembling a local concentration of properties. In exchange, she acquired the nearly inaccessible manors of Norton Bawson in Devon and Bysleigh in Gloucestershire, along with some small manors in Berkshire, Buckinghamshire, and Essex." From Heads of Household to Heads of State. The Preaccession Households of Mary and Elizabeth Tudor, 1516-1558. by J.L. McIntosh.
#anon#he was multi-faceted tho i will not deny that#i just get a little. meh at the 'no choice '#there are certainly more salient examples of fathers of the time who put their own interests above that of their children#(francois i; for example; as actually boleyn observed. had the funds to pay for the ransom for his sons 2x over)#and i also do think we have do consider he found himself in some fairly unprecedented circumstances#but he was very similar to AB in that 'perhaps a figure more to be admired than liked' sort of way?#erudite and personable and gracious and towards those he loved; affectionate and caring#ratioed against his capacity for wrath against those he believed wronged him or his family and relentless ambition
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You’re like one of my favorite HOTD blogger so I want to ask your opinion not a request but let’s say the reader was preggy and like with Aemma the husband and to chose wether to save the baby or his or you out of these the HOTD royals: Aemond, Aegon, Daemon and Jace who would chose the baby and who would chose their wife 🫣
aw im honored to be one of your favs beloved 🫶 gimme kith
the truth is, the inner feminist in me is projecting with this answer. its so fucking horrible to have to chose mother or child and i wouldnt wish that on my worst enemy, but i personally would be on the mother's side; women are in constant peril as it is, and raising a child motherless would be horrible. anyway, here are my opinions
Aemond is the second born, so i don't think he's pressed for an heir, unless he's pushed into a situation that demands it.
he's a mama's boy, so i think he would consult alicent if it ever comes to it
tbfh i feel like alicent would be either be biased to the babe because she does have that 'women's suffering is women's duty' thing going on 😔 or, more likely, i think she'd all 'let the gods decide'
in latter case aemond, not liking indecisiveness, would be more pressured to chose himself.
aemond's relationship with helaena will also subconsciously weigh in on his decision. he loves her dearly and would have seen how childbearing affected her, so he may be partial towards his baby mama.
i think it all boils down to how aemond feels for baby mama, but methinks he's more likely to chose her over the babe in most circumstances. after all you can just make babies again.
Aegon i dont think particularly gives a fuck in a way that counts.
like i think he'd be more concerned about how the whole situation makes himself feel, and how stressful it is for him to be in that circumstance; he doesn't like that he's basically killing one for the other.
i think he'd wash his hands of it and tell the maesters to do what they think is best, and we all know maesters think women are placeholders 😔 rip queen
but i also think part of him that is hurt by his father doesn't want to be like him. like viserys couldn't save aemma, so perhaps out of spite/'im not like you' he'd chose baby mama.
i think being a father feels too much like duty to him, and we know how he feels about duty. i feel like he is self-aware of his inability to be a good dad and he wasn't particularly excited to have kids with helaena.
that being said, he didn't really chose helaena, so perhaps if he chose his wife, he'd be more excited to be a dad.
ergo, i highly doubt he'd chose his unborn child over his wife though, even if the maesters pressure him to chose his heir, because he knows 100% that he couldn't handle raising a child on his own.
Daemon, in a way, is similar to aegon, wherein he wouldnt really want to chose.
he mourned for aemma and he didn't chose for laena when the maesters asked him (he would have mourned for laena had the show kept those scenes of matt in)
and im not tryna say daemons a feminist, 1000% not, but i think he understands that women's war is childbirth, like what aemma said to rhaenyra.
i think he believes that this is like the function of woman/the curse of their sex and so he wouldn't want to be the one to choose, it would have to be the woman; it's kind of on par with the way he believes targaryens are above men. it's just a fact.
i think he'd want to save his kid 100% but, if push comes to shove, like aemond, he knows you can always make another baby.
if the maesters pressure him, he'll get really volatile because he'd distinctly want baby mama to chose.
Jacaerys, out of all of them, i think would decisively chose his wife.
he knows to a degree what his mom went through with her last pregnancy, and if he's ever put face to face with that situation, he'd go bleeding heart and want to save his wife at all cost.
i think the Strong in him dilutes the Targaryen need for offspring; he's loyal to the death and would not want to wish death upon his baby mama
again, this isn't like him being a feminist, this is him being pragmatic. this is him seeing the hurt of his mother and not wanting the same for his baby mama
fair enough, i think he would be pressed for an heir, considering everything going on with the successions and whatnot. but i don't think he'd be one to risk the life of his queen.
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hi fang!!
i apologise if this is something u get asked often, but ur writing is most definitely my favourite to consume and ive never felt feelings the way i do when i read anything you've written, and was wondering if you have (or have already posted) any writing tips that u could give me?
reading your creations for so long has honestly really inspired me to write too but i have no idea where to start in terms of anything. i've never attempted to write before, i've always been more of a reader, but if i could make anything even close to what you do for beloved characters and fandoms then it would make me so so so happy.
if you need me to be more specific about what i'm having trouble with i could try and narrow it down but honestly everything is pretty accurate T-T
anyways thank u for posting everything u do, i am eternally grateful! at this point im conditioned to get excited every time im scrolling on dash and see the green katsuki pfp <3 hope ur 8 hours wherever u are isnt too perilous >:(
this made my lower lip tremble how could u think so highly of lil ol me.... im very glad my writing could invoke such feelings you!! enough so to even inspire like how huge is that... im a very unpolished and messy writer by nature so im extra moved when people are kind to me about this kind of thing. like.. ough. i have moved u... what a world...
i dont know if i have any good writing advice to give you!! im very clumsy in my own writing. here is some advice i have given people before
my biggest piece of writing advice is stop worrying about it and do everything lightly. i think there is a lot of pressure and expectation on people who are trying their hand at any creative thing to hit a point of being objectively good. im a huge perfectionist in my normal life - but because of that, i always miss out things i could actually do. being that caught up on the details made it so that i never actually tried at anything
a lot of my writing has typing errors and things i could do better but i have to intentionally allow myself that grace because if i don't - i would've never finished a piece of writing in the first place. i only get better if i write and i only write if im not so caught up on the details. there is always going to be a learning curve. im always going to look back at old writing and wince a little at all the things i can do better.
but at the time, i had the confidence to put that out into the world. now that its out, i can look at myself critically. posting for me is a way of holding myself accountable if that makes sense. everyones already seen the flawed version, so there's no longer any reason to not improve or be embarrassed. its also why i dont delete fics even when i hate them later. there was one person who liked the cringe worthy sincere aspect of me. how nice would it be if i could make something even better than that.
writing can be anything you want. it can be the most important thing you've ever done or the thing you do on the bus ride home. it can change your life or you can forget about it the very next day. its yours. your voice is always all yours.
but you it can never be anything to you if you don't just give it your most honest try. do everything very lightly. pick an idea, map out a beginning middle and end, and write a story.
more practically - it will help immensely for you to observe the way other people write first. try to read critically instead of for enjoyment and see what you like. what inspires you? a persons flow, diction, dialogue? and emulate that in your own way. when you start your voice will not be much more than a mish-mash of all the things you love and that's okay. that's what all writers with very distinct voice tend to do anyways.
i know it seems counter intuitive and pointless to stress but really - the best thing you can do for yourself when it comes to writing is just sitting down and giving it a try. pick any idea, plot out a simple 3 point beginning middle and end, and just see what you can do. you can be critical and edit as much as you want after. just get it down on paper first the best you can and don't worry yourself sick over each sentence or nothing will ever get written
i can try and give you more practical advice if you let me know what you need!! ive given writing advice before but im very under qualified for that i fear. even so i hope it helps you a little to give it a shot. i know it sucks to hear u just have to try and see but it rlly is true
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Final Fantasy III and the Perils of Freedom
I've been playing a lot of JRPGs lately. The Master System's magnum opus Phantasy Star, the beloved (but overhyped) Chrono Trigger, the simple but charming Sailor Moon: Another Story, the internet darling Earthbound, and of course the most famous and acclaimed series of them all: Final Fantasy.
After playing some more complex experimental RPGs, I wanted something more simple and straightforward so I decided to play the original Final Fantasy. I mostly got what I wanted. It's sometimes said Final Fantasy 1-3 are FF's only "true RPGS". They're certainly the ones that derive the most from TTRPGs. The first one particularly. It kind of just drops you in.
No cutscene to establish the characters. No objective marker. No tutorial. Just go. Final Fantasy 2 and 3 aren't this extreme but they aren't too far off. It's a big open world and YOU shape the role that you play in it. Or at least that's the idea. Final Fantasy could never actually have the freedom of a game like Dungeons & Dragons. Sure you can customize your party to your liking and go do optional side content but there's still a VERY specific order of actions you need to take to get to the final boss. All that freedom isn't for making your own path, it's for exploring the linear progression in different ways.
For the most part, I enjoyed this. It's fun within the system of Final Fantasy, I just think it's the sequels where the cracks of pseudo-freedom in game design begin to show. Final Fantasy 2 is its own can of worms in terms of design and I won't go too deep into it. The shortened version is that I think it gives you unparalleled freedom in how you build your party but it's too much of a hassle to truly build it exactly how you want it.
Final Fantasy 3 is the one I'm really interested in talking about. It introduces the job system to the series, replacing the classes of the original game. There are 23 different jobs. This is nothing to scoff at, especially for the third entry in the series, but I often wondered if it was too much. Each job can go to level 99 and become much more useful along the way, so experimentation comes at a cost. You'll immediately feel the downgrade, and it's very tempting to just keep the same setup for most of the game. Unless of course, it does something like force you to switch to the thief, or introduce better versions of old jobs to pressure you to upgrade. I think the problem with this system is that it's trying to introduce unprecedented freedom within a very rigid system. If the player really could just switch willy-nilly, then the game might become too easy. But it becomes frustrating when it clearly encourages you to experiment and go about the story in your own unique way while also punishing you for doing so. You need to commit in one direction, you can't have both, or at least not like this.
The thing about freedom in video games is that it's impossible. Games are just too complex. If you are to say, make 23 different jobs for a game, you need to keep in mind how each job interacts with the systems of the game and how to keep them all feeling worthwhile and balanced. If I'm just gonna use the same 4 jobs for 90% of the game, then I'm gonna feel ripped off. Either I'm playing the game wrong or the design is just poor. I don't think either is completely true, however, I do think that when you are designing a game around player freedom, it's paradoxically better to give it fewer options.
If you give the player a small pool of good and intricate tools, they're much more likely to not only want to use them all but find interesting and unique ways to use them. It's why I'm much more interested in replaying the more limited Final Fantasy 1 than the expansive 3. The player can only take so much, you can't just give them the free reign you may think they want. You have to carefully guide them towards the options of freedom so they don't get lost along the way.
Final Fantasy 3 is a great game, and I enjoyed it a lot, but I think it also demonstrates a problem still plaguing game design today regarding the incompatibility of ttrpg freedom with the limitations of game design.
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