#but don’t choke
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leaderincrows · 3 months ago
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I don’t need Jesus, I need a 6’2” crime lord sub that wants me to chew on him
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p1nkshield · 11 months ago
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Superman: Hey Batman congratulations on adopting your son! My mom insisted I bring you this… are you okay?
Batman, looking especially bedraggled, dragging a hand down his face: huh? Yes. I’m fine. I it���s just that I can’t find him.
Superman: What? do you mean you LOST HIM?
Batman: shhh, be quiet
*scuttling from above*
Batman, squinting: he’s in the rafters.
Superman: the wHAT!?
Batman: what did you bring?
Superman looking up frantically: the rafters?!?- I brought pie but why are you asking me tha-
Batman: ROBIN COME, PIE!
*scuttling stops, then rapidly moves closer*
Robin!dick: please give me some pie please
Batman: come down here first. If you try to eat upside down you’ll choke.
Robin!dick: not true I’ve been practicing!
Superman: 0_0
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rakiah · 4 months ago
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[breath in, breath out] …… Can we talk about those lines?
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izzystizzys · 5 months ago
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There is a scratch mark on the floor of the Council chambers that Mace has never noticed before. Not a deep one, mind, quite shallow. This matters because it’s making the white-hot pulse of agony stabbing through his eyeballs ebb momentarily. Then, he chances a glance upwards at the fidgeting Knight in front of them, and it returns in full force.
Huh, he’s never seen Oppo Rancisis’ face turn that colour before.
“Hmm”, Master Yoda hums, deep and scratchy. His expression is unreadable even to Mace beyond a baseline gremlinness, and the force with which he grips the edges of his seat is making his bones creak. Master of the Order you should become, they said. Follow the calling of the Force, you should. A fulfilling purpose, it will be. Mace is going to hunt the little goblin for sport when this is all over, and he’s going to laugh the whole time.
“Show us the livestream again, could you, Knight Parvo?” Yoda asks. Mace bursts a capillary, he’s pretty sure, and so does poor Knight Parvo, whose orange Mon Cala skin tips all the way into blood red with stress. “Most unusual, this is.”
“Absolutely not!”, Ki Adi intervenes before Mace has to, thank the Force for little mercies. Plo Koon’s tusks tremble slightly with either suppressed laughter or abject horror, maybe both, and Stass Allie has her head in her hands. “The holo stills should be enough”, Ki Adi proceeds to add, and Mace has to reconsider all feelings of grace he just felt towards his fellow Councillor.
He never wants to watch Yoda zoom in on someone’s abs again. Or Depa raise her eyebrows at the curve of thighs bent over the dripping front of a speeder.
“Speeder Wash For Our Troops”, his former padawan reads out loud from a still of what has to be hundreds of the things gathered in the public senate parking lot. “Fund Our Boys And Get A Wet Seeing-To!” The series of images features dozens of Coruscant Guard troopers in various stages of unkitted, gleaming and shining with soap suds and water. The fact that the whole thing is also massive shatterpoint after massive shatterpoint is, quite frankly, insulting.
“Well hello- oh dear”, Obi-Wan’s blue form crackles to life in his chair, followed by several sounds of choking that are definitely not him. Good, Mace thinks acidly. If he has to deal with this, then so does kriffing Skywalker. “I’m sorry, why am I looking at Commander Thorn using a washrag like a lasso on top of a speeder?”
“Oh, the Guard’s little fundraising project”, Bail Organa says, as he steps into the Council chambers. Normally, Mace likes the man well enough. Now, he just smiles and adds on, “I’ve already donated, in mine and Breha’s name. Remotely, of course.”
“The Guard’s fundraising speeder wash?”, Obi-Wan repeats, edges of his holo form flickering with what Mace suspects is Skywalker very unsubtly trying to edge in. Force, but the man really is horrible at any and all stealth, like kissing his secret wife in an open arena in front of his Master. “And they are fundraising for…?”
“GAR budget allocations have to come from somewhere”, Organa shrugs. “And with the tide of public opinion turning, they’ve been tending towards cuts. The Guard feels them more keenly than any other sector - they’ve been reduced from half to quarter rations, and medical supplies have not made more than a token appearance in the last draft. The Chancellor has cancelled three consecutive meetings on the matter, and thus it was agreed that a more hands-on approach was needed. Any surplus will go into the Army fund.”
“Surely it can’t be that dire”, Oppo protests, a slightly less concerning shade of purple now. Senator Organa shrugs again, jostling the smattering of cracks slowly building around his person in a way that makes Mace wince quietly. “It’s all publicly available data, Masters.”
It really can be that dire, as it turns out. And quarter rations is only scratching the surface of how dire, considering the Guard has apparently never had access to bacta in all their posting, and also includes requisitioning forms available to the Senate for reconditionings and decommissionings, two words Mace has only heard Ponds whispers amidst shuddering in the early days of the war before Shaak Ti went off and just about tore some throats out over it.
“Alright”, he concedes, rubbing at his temples. “Fair enough, we have failed to tackle a massive blind spot in the Guard’s well being. There is no Jedi assigned to Coruscant, and that’s an oversight on our behalf. But how in the everloving kriff did this get past the Chancellor and Commander Fox?!”
Who have both signed, black on white. Bail Organa smiles cryptically. “Well, if you scroll a bit past that one image, up to the industrial speeder in the back - Commander Fox is currently having credits stuffed into his codpiece in the back, I believe.”
“HE’S WHAT IN THE WHAT NOW”, Commander Cody screeches through the speaker of Obi-Wan’s holo image, and Mace has to summon every bit of Jedi-serenity he possesses in his body to keep from dropkicking a cackling Yoda through the chamber windows.
#fox forged palpatine’s signature is how it got past him#it’s not like anyone can admit to that considering the backlog of official reports he’s been forced to do it on#‘come for me and we’re both going down bitch’ fox says#triple dog dare#fox himself is in such a constant state of sleep deprivation delirium that a sexy speeder wash sounded fair enough#or not worse than anything else that happens on the daily on coruscant anyways#padmé’s handmaidens make it rain with whoops of joy and take a commemoration selfie with all the commanders#‘wait. where’s kit?’ obi wan asks halfway through the meeting ‘wasn’t he supposed to land on coruscant an hour ago?’#‘oh No’ says the council collectively#‘coruscant daily breaking news: residents are horrified by half-naked nautolan streaking through the city apparently making for thr senate’#‘wait that appears to be JEDI MASTER KIT FISTO-‘#it’s very good advertising it turns out#the vod who suggested it (nuisance) gets promoted against his will#the remaining clone commanders have to be restrained first from dogpiling civilians launching their credits at corries#‘BUT GENERAL THEY’RE OBJECTIFYING FOX’ wolffe cries to plo koon#then from murdering several senators aides and the chancellor when certain records surface#‘this is all public knowledge??’ fox asks very confused and still dripping water under six robes his ori’vode launched at him on sight#‘i don’t understand where this is coming from?’#cody is too busy making slitting throat motions at anyone who looks at his vod’ika too long to bother responding#palpatine chokes on a raisin in shock and dies#‘BREAKING BREAKING NEWS: CHANCELLOR EXPLODES IN A BLACK CLOUD AT SIGHT OF WASHBOARD ABS’#and thus the galaxy is foxed#i’m leaving that typo#commander fox#corrie guard deserves better#coruscant guard#jedi high council#mace windu#oh mace my beloved i am so sorry but it’s so funny putting you in Situations#sw tcw fic ideas
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noodles-and-tea · 7 months ago
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Hello! Do you have any art from Silver Blaze? I’d love to see Sherlock on John’s shoulders ruffling his hair 🥰
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Had to wait a week for the second episode to come out to get context but gosh that scENe KILLED ME
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ssruis · 2 months ago
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Good eye!
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toonsforkicks22 · 2 months ago
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ZOOBTOBER CHALLENGE!
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My TADC prompt for October!
All about Zooble! 🔺👁🦵🧤👠🟠
Hope you’ll participate, be sure to use the tag #Zoobtober (or tag me) I can’t wait to see your art!
(Seriously, help Zoobs out…)
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foolishlyzephyrus · 5 months ago
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bring back longer seasons! i think the show is suffering from the decreasingly shorter seasons. we don’t have nearly enough time to get to know our characters and by sacrificing monster of the week episodes for story building ones, we don’t see the development necessary to make the story beats impactful
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designernishiki · 1 year ago
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lousylemonseminar · 2 months ago
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Get in loser 4 the!!!!
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sforzesco · 10 months ago
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hey! hi! the cartoonist cooperative has an e-sim drive for gaza, offering art for e-sim donations (instructions etc in the link)
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royaltea000 · 5 months ago
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I love doing lineart with this pen so of course I draw boobs with it ☺️
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cheesecakethots · 5 months ago
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i do like the scenario of reader being constantly harassed and stalked by mahito, to the point that you’re finding him waiting for you at home after work, and it’s then you decide you need to find someone who can get rid of him.
meeting nanami who at first seems stern and a little rude, but genuinely has your best interests and safety at heart. you don’t know that he is just as, if not more obsessive over you than mahito is. he’s just better at hiding it.
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nolouvreart · 3 months ago
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I need new muts so bad I’m gonna eat da wall cause I’m alone in my hyper hyper fixation 😭
Anyway, look at this Disney Princess !! I love his nose so bad I wanna cry
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ashthewaterghoul · 2 months ago
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Can I get some slightly spicy Mountain/Rain? 🙏🏻
I don't write a lot of spicy stuff so I hope this is okay. It was going to be a few hundred word drabble, but in true Ash fashion, I yapped.
"Good" - A Mountain/Rain One Shot
“Your little innocence act doesn’t work on me, Rain.” Mountain said, his voice finding residence low his throat.     “S- sorry, sir, I didn’t-“     “Didn’t what? Didn’t meant to drag yourself to my kit and start playing? I thought you were going to be good for me?” Mountain taunted, standing behind Rain and encasing him in his shadow.     “No! I am! I am good! Please, I’ll show you-“ Rain went to spin around, but Mountain’s hand locked firmly around his throat and stopped him from moving.
Words: 1452
Tags: Praise k!nk, like a smidge of choking, dom!Mountain, sub!Rain, instrument practice with a happy ending, spoiler it's fade to black bc I'm not up for writing full blown scenes yet but there is plenty of spice to make up for that (I hope), ends on a really corny joke so I'm just going to apologise for that now💀
For the love of Satan, MDNI
~~~
    Water and Earth got along like a house on fire. Water nourished the plants and the Earth carved out spaces for rivers and lakes and ponds. It was a glorious relationship in which they helped each other out.
    The same can be said Mountain and Rain.
    Not only did their Elements call to each other, but Mountain was the one who nutured for Rain after his summoning. Not only was if from necessity, but because Mountain’s stomach dropped at the skinny Water Ghoul shivering in the summoning circle. It ending up a happy coincidence that the two both were in the rhythm section of the Ghost project, and Rain’s spot on stage being one right next to Mountain. They were each other’s everything and often made their appreciation known to each other.
    But right now? Rain was bored.
    In fact, he was starfished out on the music room floor, his bass laying somewhere near to him. He’d been staring at the ceiling for what felt like hours as the little squeaks of Mountain’s tuning keys filled the room, where music once had.
    They often had little practice sessions with just the two of them. It was important that drum and bass locked in with each other so their music sounded the best it could. And they were never going to say ‘no’ to a bit of alone time.
    They were just going through the songs from Impera but they weren’t even halfway through Spillways before Mountain stopped, saying something was wrong with his kit. And so Rain sat down to wait. Then he slumped. Then he started lying down.
Read below the cut or on ao3
    After Satan-fuck knows how long, the Earth Ghoul put his hardware down and sighed.
    “Done?” Rain asked, lifting his head and, yes, maybe he had his fingers crossed.
    “Yeah, I gotta go to the bathroom though.” Mountain replied as he stood.
    Rain groaned and flopped around so he was face-first into the ground.
    “So dramatic.” Mountain muttered, his eye-roll practically audible.
    “Fuck you.” Rain said, albeit muffled by the carpet.
    “Maybe later.” Mountain said.
    Rain was about to say something else but his voice was cut off into a groan as Mountain threaded his fingers into Rain’s waves and pulled his head up by his hair.
     “Is this the game we’re playing?” He whispered, low and almost threatening into Rain’s ear, “Because I can take as long as I want in the bathroom. Hell, I could go to the Clergy ones on the other side of the building. After that, maybe I want to try a new layout with my kit. Maybe my drums will fall out of their tuning again as I move them around and I’ll have to fuss with them all over again. So, I’ll ask you again, are we playing this game, Lilypad?”
    Rain’s brain was short-circuiting, and he mentally cursed himself for falling this easily. The two usually loved to fight over who (quite literally) came out on top and earn the submission of the other. But all Rain’s brain could think of right now was wanting to be Mount’s good boy.
    Rain shook his head as much as the strain on his neck would allow, biting back whimpers at the hold Mountain had on his scalp.
    “That won’t do, baby. Words. Let me hear my Syren’s gorgeous voice.” Mountain said in that same husky whisper.
    “No, sir.” Rain replied shakily.
    “Good.” Mountain said, purposefully avoiding the full phrase and gently lowering Rain’s head back down, “Wait in this room until I get back.”
    Rain had no chance to respond before Mountain was out the room. He groaned again as he curled in on himself, internally cursing how responsive his body was to Mount’s brief action. He also cursed himself for wearing the tightest pair of jeans he owned because now they were even tighter.
    He did his best not to palm his bulge, Mountain may not have said it but he knew there was the extra demand of “No touching”. It was always there and Rain didn’t even want to try so much as ghosting his pinky over his zipper. Somehow, Mountain always knew.
    What he didn’t say, however, was that Rain couldn’t move. So, he sat up and groaned as his back ached. There may be a carpet, but it was thinner than Rain’s patience and rough stone floors laid beneath it. As Rain stood, he caught sight of Mountain’s drum stool. He sat down on it and gave a few obligatory spins before facing the kit properly.
Well, Rain was still bored and now he was frustrated too. Mountain had taught Rain some drums over the years and so the Water Ghoul’s deft fingers reached out for the two sticks and started playing the simple grooves, fills and the like that he knew. He lost his shirt at one point and didn’t notice Mountain watching in the doorway.
    “Having fun?” The Earth Ghoul shouted over the noise.
    Rain froze like a deer in headlights and he scurried to put the sticks down where Mountain had left them. The Earth Ghoul chuckled and his unreadable expression made Rain shiver. Rain put his hands in his lap, carefully avoiding where he was still painfully hard, somehow even harder than he was before, and fixed his eyes firmly to the ground.
    “Your little innocence act doesn’t work on me, Rain.” Mountain said, his voice finding residence low his throat.
    “S- sorry, sir, I didn’t-“
    “Didn’t what? Didn’t meant to drag yourself to my kit and start playing? I thought you were going to be good for me?” Mountain taunted, standing behind Rain and encasing him in his shadow.
    “No! I am! I am good! Please, I’ll show you-“ Rain went to spin around, but Mountain’s hand locked firmly around his throat and stopped him from moving.
    Mountain’s fingers wriggled and adjusted slightly to make sure he had a safe hold on Rain’s gorgeous neck. Ghouls may be a lot stronger than humans, but there was still a right and wrong way to do this. And when Rain gave his signal of two taps of his tail against the ground, telling Mountain he was green, the Earth Ghoul got right back into it.
    Not loosening the hold Mountain had on Rain’s throat, he sank to his knees behind Rain and put his mouth right by the shell of the Water Ghoul’s ear, “You think you’re so good? I’ll need you to prove it.”
    “Please.” Rain got out, quite literally choked off, “Wanna be so good. Your good boy.”
    “One good thing, I suppose, is you’re already prepared for me.” Mountain said, running a hand along Rain’s dick print. Rain could feel his smirk as the Earth Ghoul squeezed Rain’s neck and cock at the same time.
    He wanted to moan or say something, but the hand on his throat simply forbade it. Rain was starting to see sparkles and gave one harsh tap with his tail to tell Mountain he needed to let go, and the Earth Ghoul did so immediately.
    “Fuck.” Rain gasped as he took lung-fulls of air. His jeans somehow grew even tighter and he was sure that the button was about to pop off them.
    “Stand up.” Mountain commanded as he did the same, again enveloping Rain in his shadow.
    Rain did so, wobbly slightly as he got his breath back. He tried to turn and face Mountain but a rough hand shoved his shoulder.
    “I didn’t tell you to do that, did I?” Mountain nearly snarled, “I thought you wanted to be good?”
    The push from Mountain made Rain nearly fall straight into the drum kit. But he managed to catch himself, hands braced on the high tom. He shuddered and knew he’d played right into Mountain’s hand when the Earth Ghoul let out a chuckle at the stance Rain had landed in.
    “Maybe you are good.” Mountain said contemplatively, kicking his stool out the way and pressing his own clothed bulge against Rain’s clothed ass, “You look so eager like this. Practically begging for it.”
    Rain was close to fully begging. But thankfully he didn’t have to as saw Mountain’s t-shirt land in a heap over one of the cymbals. Mountain used a hand on each of them to get both of their flies open and pushed Rain’s jeans down with his underwear before his own. Rain groaned in anticipation when that heavy appendage landed with a slap on his lower back.
    It was definitely going to take them a while to get back to their practice session. But of course, it’s important for drum and bass to properly lock in with each other so their music sounded the best it could.
A/n: Syren herself has picked up and wrote a chapter 2 where we do indeed see Mountain wrecking Rain over the drum kit…
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jasontoddsgaythoughts · 1 year ago
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If DC wants to keep pushing out different types of Gotham War comics for every year, they may as well make a Gotham Batman Ships war next year. They get to make light fun of their fans. Batman is spread all over somewhat romantically like hummus. They get to bring in different heroes and Gotham villains to fight reluctantly (they don’t want the Batman they just want the honor). The batkids get to sit cute on the sidelines and laugh at their dad’s misery. It’s fun
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